#THE GOOD ENDING FOR NEP…..

[pervertedtardis]

the doctor should be kidnapped more. put out like a light, tied up, gagged, the whole bit

they especially should be kidnapped more by the master.....

[urlocalmagicalcat]

i am loves with @synthetic-lavender

[purpdrawsthings]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

special birthday post 💜

[very long yap incoming 💥]

Edit : this was supposed to be released on midnight yesterday right when it turns 20th in my country but I didn't have time so yeah, kinda upset <=[

IT'S MY BIRTHDAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the time I post this my phone will be well, closed and I will be unable to access it since it's past 9 and it'll turn back on at 7 in the morning.

This was made one day before the bday btw I did not prepare 💔

Anyways..

Todays the day I turn ▒▒ years old! Oh. Why would I tell my age? Gotta keep that a secret!

Funny fact, the 20th of April is also the same date as when the prophet of Islam Nabi Muhammad was birthed! Crazy amirite?

But anyways, I've gone through so many things. Both sad and also wonderful. Life sure is full of possibilities isn't it? I'm in a fandom about beans and suddenly I'm in a fandom about a Saturday morning cartoon mario shitpost? Never thought that would happen but it did, somehow.

The thing is, you'll never know what ever happens next! Prepared or not, you'll always be hit with the most unexpected occurrences. And that's the wonder of life! It's what keeps us interested and curious!

It's okay to change. I used to promise to myself that I would always stay in the among us fandom! But look where I am now. I used to think that I was a bad person for doing that, but now I realize that, it's okay! It's not like the end of the world happens when you leave a fandom you've been in for 3 years!

Looking back at old things may be cringe to most, but it's always nice to feel that nostalgia that you haven't felt in a while! It really shows how much you've grown for the past few years!

I used to be really terrible with animation. Like- really ass. But since 2024, my animations have started to become much better! It just takes time and patience. Thing won't always go your way and you shouldn't rush everything! [ Ironic considering that I always rush stuff 💀 ] Taking your time slowly but surely will pay out and you'll have a good result in the end!

Now those few past paragraphs I literally said earlier made no sense whatsoever considering I just talked about life but in a non rearranged order. So I'm sorry for that one 😭

But anyways, all I wanna say is, thank you. For everything. To everyone here! Involved or not, I could NOT be here if it weren't for you all! You can't BELIEVE how much it has impacted me! I sincerely love you all! 💜 <=3

Being in here for less than a year and having this much is crazy! Like I didn't know you guys liked my stuff! I'm just a silly girl who just draws that's all 💜

For the last part, I'd love to say a few words to some people that I love/admire the most 💜 [ the words I'm about to say may be a bit similar to the ones said in the Christmas special so yeah =[ ]

Neptune - You were my first friend, friendo and best friend. We don't interact a whole lot anymore but I just wanna say, you are an amazing person. You were so supportive and amazing! You always made my day back in amino. And I won't ever forget about that. You've improved so much on your art too! I'm glad to see youre improving so much on your art, and to that, thank you Nep. Thank you for being my friendo. 💜

@rr3d2y - My first friend in the SMG4 community! I WANNA HUG YOU SO BAD IRL 💔 you are seriously such a kind and wonderful person! GENUINELY LIKE YOU SO COOL!!!!! We got along with each other so well like, I didnt know you were that chill smh??? I LOVE YOU AND CHERISH YOU SO MUCH A FRIEND!!!! THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING FRIENDS WITH ME YA SILLY!! 💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜

@mikchi8 - Pulls you out and hugs you and shakes you affectionately. YOU TOO MIKCHI. YOU TOO!! YEAH WE DON'T TALK A WHOLE LOT BUT GENUINELY YOU'RE A COOL PERSON!!! LOVE YA YOU FUNNI PERSON!!! 💜💜💜💜

@superluigiglitchy - I will make art of Oliver soon I'LL GET TO THERE SIDHOSHSKDKDHD 😭 PJ I love ur art and the stuff you do like- A LOT! Like that vanellope AU and also the squib! THE SILLY HIMSELF!!! No seriously how'd you make him so cute siudidjdodjdojdodhdidj /silly we don't a talk a whole much as much as we used to but I'm always interested and up for what u're cooking! Love ya ^^ ! 💜

@jmaknavigr @markboyblue - You both are so kind and sweet like JMA YOUR AXOLOTL GIFTS ARE SIYDIDHDIHDOFJF AND MARM YOUR COMPLIMENTS THEY'RE SO SIHDISHDIDHDKHDKSJS I'LL GET YOU BOTH!!!!!! MARK MY WORDSSSSS /silly /jk /nsrs /lh I'M SORRY FOR NOT HAVING ANYMORE TO SAY BUT JUST KNOW THAT I LOVE U TWO 💜💜💜💜

@tiredsmashbros @strange0-0storm @cookiepopcat @its-a-me-mango - You four have been like my main source of inspiration like HELPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! YOU ALL ARE STILL VERY COOL TO ME. All of you fours contents are just so unique and well made?? Man that what I really strive for tbh 😭 all I wanna say is you are all creative in your own separate ways and I'll continue praise you four for that, 💥💥💥💥💜💜💜💜

@libbytwq @bear-boi-5 @coralalala64 @4thwallbreakerdraws2 - OKAY I DID NOT EXPECT TO BE FRIENDS/MUTUALS WITH ANY OF YOU. SERIOUSLY 😭. LIKE UH... HOW? You four have like, really cool stuff and people should really see that because y'all are cooking some rlly good art in that kitchen right there 💥 interacting with like all four of you has got to be one of the goofiest and silliest things. Like- sure it's not that chaotic but it can get rlly silly at times and I'm glad for that do what you four do XD 💜💜💜

@michaelscorneroftheinternet @grinnames @dorriostareyes - OH GOD YOU THREE ARE REALLY COOL TOO. Micheal and Dorrio, you boths writing are actually like top notch WHAT ARE Y'ALL COOKING UP WITH CHANGE IN SCRIPT PUT THAT GIF WHERE SOMEONE IS WRITING AND IT'S ON FIRE 🔥🔥🔥🔥 Grinnames you too I know I said this before but ur Godbox au is so interesting very excited to see how that like.. Event... Thing.... Ends =D! You three are all obviously very cool and deserve more recognition 💜💜💜

@alelathedragon - Hey uhhhhh wasn't expecting this huh? I KNOW WE HAVEN'T INTERACTED A WHOLE LOT BUT I GOTTA SAY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING ME LEND A HAND ON THE COMPETITION!!! I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT AT ALL LIKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT MY DOORSTEP ALL THE SUDDEN!! Honestly I love broken star like he's such a silly goober AND LOYBOO TOO. HE'S SUCH A CUTIE!!! Man you so cool. Yeah this is what you get for interacting with me muahahhahaa 💥💜

@eliscz @meg-girumi @theclosetcreature @fbanjex @jovialoddity @bidinonsense @h4ppysoki @dakaakula @icedbeverageenjoyer @jibrilthethingart @stargus0k @hplonesomeart @scimagic @the-masked-astro @yasmin70 @fenicearts420 @mrtophat518 @alex-dolmatescu2-0 @change-name-later - YOU ARE ALL REALLY COOL MR PUZZLES ARTISTS IN YOUR WAYS!!!!! SERIOUSLY YALLS IDEAS FOR THIS SILLY MAN ARE REALLY COOL LIKE THE WAY Y'ALL DRAW HIM, HEAD CANNONS AND THE STUFF Y'ALL DID WITH HIM, ARE ALL JUST REALLY COOL!! Will adore you all till the ends of handsome tv man 💜💜💜 /silly

And these are the list of people that I'd like to make messages to but I simply don't have the time and energy to do that so yeah 😔. Just know that I enjoy you all as equally as everybody else before this!! 💜💜💜

@opossol @shygirl4991 @theartistisme24 @art-parasi-te @fruit-sy @dictatortirah @corgibuttdraws @smp-eclair @psinkaaa @rat-n-atty

And for the last bit! A recap of alllllll of my digital drawings since I interacted online! Enjoy 💜

And that's it!.. There was supposed to be a bit where I yapped more but with my real voice but that got scrapped.. =[

Anywaysssss yeah! Thank you for whoever read this far smh ig you have a good attention span 💥💥💥💥

Have a great day every body and most importantly, happy purpday to me 💜

[trapastrology]

~Astro Notes From Aris~

~11H Virgo tends to be the "mom" friend of the group. They make the schedules. Make sure everyone gets home on time & in one piece. The one who's always prepared. Make sure everyone is fed & okay. Usually, the friend ur parents will always let you go out with because they know you'll be okay.

~Sag & Pisces Mercuries (sometimes aqua) sound more attractive in their native tongue/accent to ppl. So instead of hiding ur accent, embrace it! These are usually ppl who don't ever lose their accent even if they've tried to. It will also feel more natural/comfortable as well.

~Ppl tend to be very jealous & don't believe that 2H pluto ppl deserve the good things they get/have which in return, overtime, will cause the 2H pluto person to feel this way as well.

~Aries NN usually keep the peace & avoid conflict when they should be doing the complete opposite. They will only find true peace when they learn to stand up and stop letting ppl trample them.

~7H Uranus in Solar Return doesn't always mean a breakup for a romantic breakup; it can be an ending of any relationship where you deem the person to be ur other half or y'all are just very close to one another.

~North Node in Pisces must learn forgiveness towards SELF

~For my fellow steven universe lovers, moon sq pluto synastry is equivalent to the relationship & situation between Spinel & Rose Quartz. Spinel would be the Moon person.

~12H ruler in the 3H-keep a lot of things to urself becuz more often than not ppl don't want the best for you & things will go array after you speak about it. If your 12H is in libra with the ruler in the 3H, things pertaining to relationships esp should be kept under wraps. As well as ur gifts, talents & things that bring you peace

~Air sign/house Chiron & Lilith's, were you ever bullied for being a "nerd" or having an interests that weren't the norm then but is now?

~Venus (trine/sextile) NN synastry is the way the Venus person shows love is what the NN person needs. For example, A Cap Venus's love is steady, stable, longlasting, devoted & gives true old romance which is something that a Taurus NN needs but would also be foreign to them due to their Scorpio SN. The Venus persons way of loving will bring the NN person closer towards where they need to be.

~2H/Taurus plmts are usually big cookers/bakers. Or at least they should, it's one of the many things that'll bring them peace.

~12H Libra/5H Pisces love romance/fantasy/magic/supernatural shows & movies!

~11H Cancer are the "emotional support" friend. The one you can go and talk to about your feelings, emotions and family issues. The one that is the more emotional person of the friend group & sees their friends as their family.

~Sag stells/nep-asc/1H Jup- Do people easily guess ur ethnicity or suspect ur from somewhere else? You may not know what gives it away, but someone will ask "oh are you from ____?"

Follow & Like for more!!!!!!!! Dm to book a reading with me. Dm to purchase my book on 12H synastry. Prepare for the new content aheadddddd!!!! Comment any content suggestions as well.

[xoxochb]

Ok, could I PLEASE get a Leo x fem!reader fan fic where they're best friends but both want to be more (maybe they kiss...idk) ??? Pls, I'm desperate. There's not enough Leo fanfics and you're such a good writer.

— astronomy nerd

warnings: leo has W rizz 💯 (do people still say this?) pairing: leo valdez x fem! reader

“well anyways, there is no sound in space because there’s no atmosphere to carry the sound vibrations. It’s really cool if you think about it. are you thinking about it? whatever, did you know the sunsets on mars are blue? how cool is that?! and one million earths could fit in the sun, isn’t that awesome! just imagine that, the sun is huge, I mean seriously-”

your voice trails off forever, you had been talking non stop about miscellaneous outer space facts since leo had walked into your cabin and caught you reading a planet book. it’s not that he hated listening to you talk, gods no, he would listen to you talk for hours on end without a stop but in this particular moment he found himself distracted by the bright smile adorning your lips, he can’t seem to tear his eyes away. and with you being too busy caught up in your space talk you fail to realize leo hadn’t been listening

but you did, however, finally take notice when you ask him a question and he doesn’t respond, stuck in some kind of daze. you call out his name three times before snapping your fingers in front of his eyes, making them widen and his cheeks flush red

“you weren’t listening” you point out

“I’m sorry I- uhm, I’ll listen now. sorry”

you sigh. “what do you think about creating life on mars?”

creating…life? it doesn’t even take a second for leo’s brain to go from concentrating on your words to imagining creating life within you, forget fucking mars, when you’re older and leave camp preferably married with kids. with your good looks and his humor that’d be one hell of a child! he can’t suppress the widening grin, which you additionally notice

“you’re not listening again! what are you thinking about?”

“I think you should!”

your brows furrow at the late reply to your question. “okay… well I surely can’t. but the scientists at nasa know that mars has water so really if you think about it we need to bring seeds from earth to mars and we can build trees, y’know? then that will create oxygen— mars has a very thin atmosphere meaning you can’t breathe on it, but if you just put this huge tent around it the oxygen would start flowing and you’d be able to breathe. does that make sense?”

“what would the tent do if there’s no atmosphere on mars though?”

“I watched a movie about it once… but… you make a good point” you frown, realizing your information had gotten mixed. leo mirrors your expression when he realizes he had upset you. the aura of the room suddenly becomes very awkward

don’t say something stupid don’t say something stupid don’t say something stupid-

leo’s mouth fails him. “what does a star win in a competition?”

your lips twitching upwards was worth the idiotic joke he’s about to respond to

“a constellation prize”

“I have another! what type of music do planets sing?”

“what type?”

“nep-tunes!”

your laugh progresses. “where did you find these jokes?”

(the second he found out you liked astronomy and outer space he had researched like crazy so he could come up with the best jokes possible to impress you). he shrugs. “I made them myself”

“really?”

oh gods he hopes the blush on his face isn’t visible. “yeah…”

“you should be, like, a stand up comedian or something. you’re really good”

okay, yeah, he’s gonna put a ring on it the first chance he can get (your wedding has been elaborately planned already, he keeps the plans hidden underneath his mattress). with your smile as bright as the stars, eyes reflections of the moon, your hair cascading over your shoulders like the sunset over the evening sky, extremely captivating to the eyes of the silly son of hepheastus. he hoped he didn’t look like a lovesick puppy right now, staring at you like this, yet he’s surprised to find your gaze mirrors his. oh no

no no no. leo prays to ever god and goddess he’s aware of that you can’t visible see his cherry red cheeks or his smile of contentment

“do you think there’s more than one universe?” he blurts out

“of course. why?”

“because I think I’d love you all the same in every one regardless of our forms”

good gods of olympus your heart skips a beat or two. act casual

“even if I was a worm?”

“I’d build you a terrarium”

“If I was a star?”

“I’d place myself next to you”

you shouldn’t be tearing up at the thought of this but you can’t help the drops of salty water that fall from your eyes. “In every universe would you be staring at my lips instead of listening to what I’m saying?”

“if your lips always look this kissable, then yes”

oh gods oh gods oh gods oh gods so this is really happening? this is real life? surely, truly?

“leo, can I-”

“please”

you suck in a breath and whisper, “I’ve never done this before”

“I haven’t either”

very slowly, almost like neither of you had moved at all, you lean in until your lips finally meet in the middle at last. not just the first kiss, because this surely was not going to be the last

[psychotrenny]

Fun how the people who hue and cry the loudest about China's "Reform and Opening Up", condemning it as some sort great betrayal of socialism, so often consider themselves aligned with Lenin. Like some sort of defender of true socialism from the golden era against all those later revisionists. As though like the NEP wasn't something that Lenin himself very much supported and implemented. Our wise and tactical introduction of capitalist elements VS their revisionist selling out to the bourgeoisie, something like that

There's probably a couple of things at play here. One contributing factor likely the fetishism of defeat you see all too often among Western socialists, treating the dead and failed experiments of the past as somehow being more pure and truly communist than any still living socialist regime. Another is the excessive attachment to specific individuals you see among those who accept communist ideas without truly embracing dialectical materialist thinking; treating certain thinkers and leaders (i.e. Lenin, Trotsky, Mao) as though they were divine prophets while others (i.e. Deng) are devils sent to lead us astray. Policies are not evaluated in terms of their material effects, the prevailing conditions they were taken in or even their theoretical basis. Rather the focus is on who proposed them; similar policies are good when a good guy supports them and bad when backed by a villain. Finally there's likely an element of underlying racism to all this; these people have faith in the ability of Europeans make the right decisions and build a better society, while no such trust is extended to those "less enlightened" peoples of the world. Surely the end of Socialism in Europe meant the end of any Socialism that matters? Like any nation still calling itself Socialist must be lying or deluded; there's no way those barbarians could have anything to teach us...

[yingdu-lover]

It's Kinda Nice to Help People Find Their Precious Thing : The timeless journey of love, regret, trust, death and hope through Shiguang's life in Link Click Yingdu Episode 1

part -1

It's a very personal rambling actually, not a very critically sound one, if you still wanna read, just letting you know, you are not alone, I went through a lifetime of emotions while watching this.

What’s wrong with the timeline? : Before discussing this, I want to talk about Lu Guang’s age. I have this formula,

Lg’s age : X + 3n, X= his original age, n= the number of times he has dived back in the past to reach the situation of our timeline where Cheng Xiaoshi survived season 1 and made it to the end of the season 2. I am presuming that ‘n times Cheng Xiaoshi dies’ stopped in our timeline, so let us denote our timeline as ‘n*’, which has successfully changed Cheng Xiaoshi’s fate. (For people thinking, where did I get that ‘3’ in my formula, the episode of the lost child in season 1 says that the kidnapping of that little boy happened three years ago, when Shiguang were supposed to be in Yingdu. Basically Shiguang first met and went to Yingdu in 2018.)

The first four minutes of the episode 1 (Successfully made me cry like a wounded hyena left in the middle of a cold desert): What timeline is it? It is one of those timelines of ‘n’ where Cheng Xiaoshi died. Cheng Xiaoshi dies in every nth timeline, except n*. The first time he dies, let us call that timeline ‘n0’. And the first four minutes, let’s suppose it is nEp-1. Is n0 = nEp-1? If yes, then why Vein is punishing Lu Guang for changing the past? It implies that Lu Guang attempted (and succeeded kind of? since he is accused of changing the past) to change the past before? Why would he? For what reason? I have an answer to this convoluted question – Vein is punishing a past Lu Guang (‘innocent’ Lu Guang who didn’t dive and do shit) for the deeds a future Lu Guang committed. Eh? Every theory I suggest contradict with the thing I say next.

Still what I feel is that the narrator Lu Guang who gives the ‘butterfly effect’ speech is not the one who dives in the given visual. The hesitation in the visual suggests that Lu Guang is diving for the first time. I don’t have galaxy brains to understand the timeline theory anyways. And it is probably too early to start guessing.

Basketball symbolism: Life, death, trust, partnership.

I think now we all understand that the basketball motif really stands for a deeper philosophy of life and companionship. And Haoling actually puts that theme in big fat words in case someone missed, “It is so precious to have a trustworthy partner in life”. It is not about basketball. The exposition of first 1 minute 25 seconds deals with it.

1:26 – I howled. That’s not the point. The point is that Vein is actually interested in shooting Lu Guang, he wants his life, not Cheng Xiaoshi’s, he just physically defeats him. (My poor kitty, what the fuck did you do to deserve this, if my theory is right then…). Cheng Xiaoshi fucking dives to take the bullet.

Now, um. Why am I re-watching this? Cheng Xiaoshi dies and transfers his diving power to Lu Guang, the basketball symbolism recurs. Qiao Ling is dead and captain Xiao is dead too. Good. Cheng Xiaoshi says sorry for some reason and asks Lu Guang to save ‘them’, it’s his death wish. So, I am presuming that Lu Guang started diving because it was Cheng Xiaoshi’s last wish to Lu Guang (I need ibuprofen). From my perspective, Lu Guang when he dives, he is not sure what he is able to achieve. He probably goes back to the past just to relive those moments, those three years again. If everything goes well (LMAO my audacity) and Cheng Xiaoshi survives in this Yingdu arc, I am presuming that is our story then will be directly continuing in the two seasons.

Now let us heal a bit. First of all, congratulations to all, Lu Guang is gay. I don’t care what anyone opines, he is gay. He is the owner of that freaking Shakespearean sonnet book and he is the literal tsundere, come on, guys, it should be canon now.

Lu Guang holds his hand as if trying to say, “Please, don’t go”.

You are in acute denial if you say the visuals are not romantic. The white butterfly sits on the basketball he is holding.

That visual is so pretty! The butterflies remind me of tgcf ngl.

Bro, what kind of house does he live in. He is damn rich.

Cheng Xiaoshi : Partner, lets play basketball together again tomorrow. And the content smile Cheng Xiaoshi gives.

Still, somehow, The Eye is the most moving piece of animation I have ever seen, it feels like life with all heartaches and smiles present. I will carry this song with me till the end of time.

Oh, also. How are Vein fans doing? Just checking :D

This song is causing me physical angst.

I wish I can cosplay in my uni’s anime club’s event one day.

Okay so, a friend of mine pointed out that Lu Guang cosplayed as the hero of that RanXi chronicles when there was an attempt to dress Xiaoshi as the heroine. Ok.

Lu Guang checking that damn watch once in a while breaks my heart.

Parallel narrative, foil characters again – metanarrative, two-folded narrative embedded within the narrative (that girl’s story about perseverance, hope, regret, passion, taking the damn risk and further hope, story of RanXi chronicles and Lu Guang explicitly saying how he relates to the story of RanXi’s heroine)

Now I am saying again, I am Sapphic and Qiao Ling, that is Sapphic behaviour, my love, me and my Sapphic friends approve. “That girl is so lovely” the way she says it. AND YES QUEEN! Link Click never forgets to address social issues. Btw, I personally related to that girl when she was rebuked vehemently for voicing her career choice. My acceptance of what I really wanted to do in my life and pursuing it changed the trajectory of my life too. Life is not a flower path but “there are no regrets in dedicating your life to something you care about” – again it echoes the central theme of link click.

Also, (with a shiver) I am realising how the interpretation of the first and second season is rapidly changing (and I like it).

Cheng Xiaoshi, are you jealous?

The chibi shifts are so cute!

Lu Guang has this deep sense of lack of agency, understandable because it arises from the agony of the death of a loved one and this depressive existentialist mood makes him conform to the ‘power’, even though he can be rebellious but that threshold is only initiated with Cheng Xiaoshi’s active intervention.

Again saying, idk what kind of concept of queerness people (most of them who are not queer at all, how do they know what queerness is? How are you dictating?) have, but your friend’s image reflecting in your eyes when he brings a moral and ideological change to your mind and shatters your conformity, that surely is. This continuously happens in season 1 and 2, but we don’t get to know, you know why? Lu Guang’s pov was silenced deliberately. Without him soliloquizing, it’s impossible to know what his real emotional undercurrent is. The way Haoling crafted Lu Guang as a complex and delicate character, man. Man, I would die for him.

Btw, I too agree that putting a hand over his mouth is the second best option to silence him.

Ik it's bittersweet, but princess Guang-guang, don't run away from your fated prince! ( HOW THE FUCK AM I CRYING AGAIN)

this roughly wraps up to 34:30. I can't do more pain today, maybe tomorrow.

[salubriwrites-blog]

LycaWise Angst story I'll never publish

I'm part of a LycaWise discord where we all circle jerk and share things we cooked.

After reading someone's little angsty one shot they wrote I was inspired. I'll probably never turn this into a full length story especially cause it was piggy backing off someone else, shout out Dartrickx and would only turn this isn't a full scale story with their permission and collaboration.

So I wanted to post what I had cooked in this feral brainstorm frenzy! (I'm literally copy pasting this from Discord, so it'll be disjointed, feral, and I'm NOT sorry).

The story kicked off pretty cute - Lycaon and Wise go on a date where Lycoan proposes. Their romantic evening ends with Lycaon fighting off Ethereals, only to realize that he was somehow drugged during his evening with Wise. The Ethereals he fought did not exist, and the large one he fought was actually Wise. Who now lays dead, at the hands of Lycaon. Hugo Vlad - disguised as their waiter for the evening - had managed to drug Lycaon and has effectively framed the thiren for the death of the Proxy.

Here is my addition to what I think would transpire afterward: When PubSec arrives, all they see is a maddened thiren out of control of himself. Lycaon's defense is paper thin, the blood is on his hands, no one believed that he had been drugged and so there's no proof of Hugo's actions. The best thing they can do for him to avoid a more severe sentence is to plead insanity. He is a Hollow Raider after all, all that Ether corruption had to have an impact on him some how... so they plead insanity to save Lycaon.

So Lycaon pleads insanity, gets sent to a psychiatric prison. Hugo infiltrates it and masquerades as doctors, guards, whatever he needs to be around Lycaon. This causes the staff to panic because he's trying to attack the staff, not a good look for him. As a result the prison isolates him further, muzzles him up, puts him in a high risk ward. Basically only has like, two or three people that he sees at any given time of day (a therapist, a guard, a doctor, that kind of thing). Through a series of manipulations (social and medical), Lycaon starts to lose touch with reality. He becomes convinced that he is beyond redemption. Everyone has forgotten about him; Wise is dead, Belle will never forgive him, VHS had to distance themselves to save face. Hugo is all that remains. This does not happen within months either, mind you. We're talking like, years of Hugo doing this. Until everyone that Lycaon knew stops calling him, stops visiting, stops writing letters. He feels completely forgotten about and the only connection he has to his past is Hugo. Let's say about ~5 years go by. VHS has moved on, Ellen is maybe looking at a change in lifestyle. She works at a catgirl/maid cafe full time now, and gets a visit from a PubSec officer. One of them introduces herself as Zhu Yuan, investigator for NEPS. "Are you Ellen Joe?" They ask. She's suspicious, but confirms her identity. "When was the last time you were in touch with Von Lycaon?" They ask. Panic "Maybe three years ago. Why?" "He's part of an ongoing investigation." "I just said I haven't seen him in years, last I saw him he was in prison for murder. You should know where he is." silence "You… do know where he is, right?"

Ellen finds out that Lycaon escaped his isolation cell and they think he took one of the prison's staff hostage. Now Ellen may not think that he's totally mentally stable, but this is still Von Lycoan, Head Butler of Victoria Housekeeping Services and Hollow Raider we're talking about. He knows how to evade detection, hack any level of security clearance, and skilled in different forms of combat. If Lycaon doesn't want to be found, he absolutely can disappear. So she teams up with PubSec to find Lycaon, putting all of the training he inparted onto her to track him down. Doing her own freelance investigation, Ellen learns the truth about what happened. How Hugo had been there, following Lycaon and Wise, orchestrating the perfect crime with Lycoan at the center of it. She figures out that Hugo has been in that prison the whole time, and that this psycho has been torturing Lycaon all this time. Basically uncovers a whole gross discrepancy in the prison's system. "We'll make this right, but we have to find him before Hugo influences him to do something else" Zhu Yuan promises Ellen as they are closing in on Lycaon's location. Eventually, they find Lycoan and Hugo. They're back in the attic playing house or some weird shit like that. Ellen insists that she be the one to go up first and will call if things go side ways, because the presence of cops might agitate Lycaon. "Remember," Zhu Yuan says to Ellen before she disappears inside. "So long as he doesn't hurt anyone else, we can get his sentence commuted or even cleared. That includes you." "I'll talk some sense into him," Ellen promises. Except- "Boss?" She calls, relying on her senses to penetrate the dark room. Though it was day time, the sun hanging directly over head cast the room in unmoving shadows. Lycaon attacks Ellen, she jams the handle of her pole arm between his teeth to stop him from biting her. He doesn't recognize her anymore, she barely recognizes him. He's gray, gaunt, and wild now. A trace of the regal thiren she knew, he's become something of Hugo's creation. As Hugo is standing over Ellen, giving a monologue about how he's won (because he has to) while Lycaon slobbers and snaps at her face as she holds him off with her pole arm, she manages to reach into her shirt and pull out a necklace, and hanging from the chain is the wedding band. Wise's wedding band.

Lycaon sees it and he freezes up as she says something not very dramatic but to the extent of "You forgot about me, that's fine. I deserve that because I forgot about you first. But you would never forget him." Because it's true, Lycaon could never forget Wise. Even when everyone else forgot about Lycaon, and his love for them turned to bitter resentment turned to nothingness. As Lycaon is having this mental collapse, she beats Lycaon over the head and he blacks out. Now that his weapon is out of commission and no longer a danger, Hugo starts to beg for clemency. Then threatening her. But Ellen Joe is a badass, and she calls in PubSec to take care of him and get Lycaon the help she needs. After that day she promises to never leave his side again. She failed him once already.

Hugo goes away for a long time for the grocery list of crimes hes committed. (Tampering with a crime, 1st degree murder, impersonating law enforcement, aiding and abetting a prisoner's escape, unlawful imprisonment). It takes Lycaon a long time to come back from all of that. Ellen and Corin stick around to help him, Lycoan may never get his job back as an attendant for VHS, but maybe Lily's family rehire him full time. It all comes to a head when Belle forgives Lycaon. So they start penpalling, then phone calling, and finally one day they decide to meet somewhere in person - we're talking years later. When Belle arrives she's older now, and she's not alone. There's a young boy with her that looks sort of like her, and at the sight of Lycoan gets really shy, but she insists that Lycaon is a friend of the family. He knows that this is her son, and recognizes how important it is to her that she introduce an important man in her life back to Lycaon. The trust that they've rebuilt is fragile and all hinges on if this child approves of him or not. "This is my son, baby do you wanna tell him your name?" She asks. "My name is Wise..." He is hesitant to say it, maybe he thinks its stupid, or other kids bully him for it. He doesn't know its significance. Choking back tears, Belle watches as Lycaon gets down on a knee and takes kid Wise's hand and gives him a formal little handshake. He can tell that he's immediately imprinted onto her son, who will now have a bodyguard and best friend for life. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, young master. Your mother and uncle are very dear to me, should you ever need my assistance, I will be at your side at a moment's notice." Kid Wise stares up at him with these big eyes and goes, "Cool… can I touch your tail?"

[doodlemcnoodlee]

Uranus is a war criminal au (since his Australian lol)

Erebus (X) is Uranus brother!!

Uranus grimes as the shackles tighten around his already sore wrist, if he knew this would be his fate maybe he would have joined Jupiter and Saturn instead of following his stupid brother and now because of this dumb war he’s lost his only brother, all because Jupiter couldn’t handle not being sun’s favourite anymore, the whole reason the war started in the first place.

At the very least he wouldn’t be alone during his exile into the fair end of the solar system, Neptune gave up his very favourable orbit of warmth for the coldness of Erebus old orbit, Neptune (even though they were on opposing sides during the war) didn’t like the idea of Uranus so fair away for everyone else had given up his orbit to Jupiter just so Uranus wouldn’t be alone, his cousin might not be the brightest, but he would forever be the kindest planet anyone could wish for.

“Ahh!” Uranus grown as his bad knee screamed as his weight shuffled onto it, tears welled his eyes, threatening to break free, the knee in question had been mercilessly broken by Saturn during the war, but Uranus refused to let them see him cry, instead bitting his lip as a poor attempt to get his emotions under control, a whimpered slip through his now bleeding lip but Uranus ignored it in favour of  hoisting himself up with his good knee, he could see the slie smile of The two gas giants, knowing they were the cause of his pain.

Uranus is become all to aware that those two fuckers took joy in his pain. He could still hear their blood lust filled laughter as Saturn smashed his skull in with the weapon Uranus created with his own two hands. Only for all that work to be used against him, the sheer thought made the pounding in his head even more painful, Uranus wish he could forget all the pain that was inflicted onto him on the past few years but Sol was never on his side, no matter how much Uranus prayed to them to shin their warmth onto him once’s again, but instead Sun turned their head and let Jupiter and Saturn do as they pleased. The world win of emotions Uranus had been holding in till now were just bagging to break free, but he couldn’t let THEM see he when he cries, Uranus but his lip harder keeping everything in just long enough for the gas giants to turn around starting their slow march to the fair end of the solar system once’s again, the short burst of pain provide a much needed distraction for everything his been through even in the past few hours felt like a life time in of itself, Uranus had already seen the death of his brother, and the fall of the most powerful warrior, Neptune… he didn’t deserve the fate his choice but nothing could dissuade Neptune now, Erebus always jokes that Nep’s strong will would be the death of him, they never thought it’d actually come true.

The rest of the walk was fairly quiet, the only sound in the vast emptiness of space was Saturn and Jupiter soft laughter as they recounted their favourite part of the wars, as if they were fond memories to tell for ages, he guessed maybe for the gas giants they were “happy” memories no matter their losses, they won and that was enough for the two of them. From Uranus downturned face he could still see the prideful face of Saturn who wouldn’t shut up about stealing Erebus’ moons only keeping Titan alive because of his status of being the most beautiful and biggest moon Erebus had. Uranus didn’t like that it was Had now, after they murdered him, Erebus had 12 beautiful and kind moons that lighted up the emptiness of space. His brother raised them all by himself, taking great care to give them all equal treatment, something Saturn and Jupiter never care to do, but now all Erebus work had been reduced to a “trophy” of the unworthy.

Uranus should probably stop before he actually breaks down crying, the events of today and his humiliating defeat were already to much but on top of everything else his been through was just to much for one person to bear, Uranus couldn’t wait to be alone in his new orbit to cry all the tears his been holding in, he refuses to show any weakness in front of his brother murders, they didn’t deserve the satisfaction of his pain, most of which they are the cause of. 

The walked felt like it dragged in forever, by the time they did Uranus was lost in his thoughts completely ignoring the world around him, or lack there of, seeing how far out they where now, his new orbit was devoid of life, the only planets out here where the giants themselves had it was to cold for the rocky planet to survive (the dwarf planets aren’t formed yet) and soon only been Neptune and Uranus himself, with three abandoned, orbits in between Uranus and the new closest planet, all apart of his exile, Uranus supposed, “Well, say hello to your new home Uranus!” Saturn said his worlds dripping with venom and the pleasure in knowing Uranus’ suffer won’t be short lived here, even with Neptune taking the orbit Uranus was might too, he was still all alone to wallow in self pity and the wish to change the past. “Yes. I’m sure you and Neptune well have lots of fun here.” Jupiter smiled mostly to himself, his malicious smile cutting ugly lines into his usually empty face, it was hard to tell want was going on in their head but one thing was sure they were taking joy in his pain just like they always had, and would probably be laughing about all the way to their new orbits, ones they didn’t deserve, Uranus hoped that they would at lest be kinder to the rocky planet, as they didn’t nothing wrong unlike Uranus. They were angels in comparison to them, as far as Uranus knew they were only children who stilled believed the world was sunshine and stars above, the giants were as lucky having lived a million years already.

“Well, we best be leaving so you can get adjusted to your new orbit.” Saturn spoke again, his voice almost sickly sweet as he hooked his arms around Jupiter’s. “Don’t you need to remove these cuffs rights?” Uranus snickered as they look at one another, before Saturn smirked, “I Don’t know maybe we could leave them on as extra punishment” Saturn eyes crinkled as his smile etched onto his face. “wouldn’t that be fun my dear?” His voice softened as he looked up to his lover, “As fun as that’s be I think Uranus had been punished enough for now.” Jupiter eyes never looked away from Uranus worried face, almost believing they really were leaving him like this. “Awww, your no fun.” Saturn hafted, drawing out his worlds as he crossed his arms. “Fine. It’s not worth coming all the way out here just for you anyways.” Saturn face shifted to something unreadable to Uranus, but quickly went back to a smile as a joke popped into his mind. “Bye Ur-Anus!” Saturn said with his voice filled with laughter has he saw Uranus face fall with anger, knowing he couldn’t do anything about it, unless he wanted yet another fight he had no changed in wining, they all knew it, between the three of them Uranus was the weakest, it was only because of Erebus he thought he had a chance in beating them.

What a foolish thinking that was, now all Uranus could do was stare as they left him all alone, somewhere unfamiliar to him, why was Sol so cruel to him? They could have helped before they lost yet another planet, but no. They did nothing. Uranus sat with his knee curled tightly against his chest as he cried, going over everything he every did wrong to end up in this situation, Neptune was nowhere to be seen, so he had no one, Uranus had lost everything he ever knew and love, all in the matter of a few years.



[iamred-iamyellow]

Giving my moots little pieces of me for New Years, and while I've already wished you one, I wanted to give u something too, so:

Have this picture from the time I fed (got my whole hand – AND PHONE – licked and slobbered up) a giraffe, proceeded to lose my mind after, went home and did a much too intense deep dive on them and ended up knowing way too much abt them😭 may this picture bring u good luck from now on😝🫶🏼

Love you, liv💗💗

HAHAHA wait i love that (giraffes are one of my favorite animals how did you know 🤭)

as a picture exchange here’s my pretty pointe shoes 😋

love you nep!! 🫶

[teacuptempesttt]

I’m back with another ship for you to hear me out on Equius <3 Karkat

I think it’s at its best BEFORE they’re an actual relationship, purely for the comedic potential. Equius kind of hating himself for ‘falling in love with such a filthy mutant’ and actively trying to stop himself from being in love whilst Karkat just. Like. Doesn’t know how to deal with it plus once/if they actually start dating it would probably end up improving both of them for the better. Equius trying his best to unlearn the racism (or whatever the word for Troll racism is) that he’s been pretty much raised on just for his partner, whilst Karkat probably learns how to manage his anger more because of Equius giving guidance (I imaging him to be very good at containing his anger because if he let it get the better of him he’d be far too dangerous with the strength) Also the colour combo for them is a good one so that helps

Interesting! Yeah I definitely see it as a one-sided thing. Like maybe they share an awkward smooch and promise to never speak of it again, but I think if anything more of the pining would come from Equius’ end. And even that I think would be more lust/confused feelings than love. But I don’t think they would be bad for each other! I think they’d make good bros in the end, especially once Eq matures and understands his own feelings better. He and Kar and Nep are the dream blunt rotation. Just chilling out and spilling the tea about their friends’ quadrants.

[anzuhan]

But what is fff exactly

it's really hard to explain the plot at times because of how. truly just 'idea factory writing' it is, but anzu also is just fond of it because of how much it aligns with anzu's likeness to the whole ordeal with different dimensions, timelines, timeskips, time and space anything honestly..

but trying hard without spoiling anything...

fff is a series of trpgs (well it's labeled just 'rpg' for the first two titles, and it has a more unique system in those that is akin to the mainline nep games; refrain chord is a full on topdown trpg though) where you play as a fencer named fang alongside his fury & fairy partner eryn.. in fff, you can become a fencer by finding a weapon (known as a fury) in which resides a fairy (which will be your partner) if your soul connects with it thorougly; it's mostly a matter of this whole 'the weapon will call out to you so you'll know which one is the one'; the general consensus of all games is fang befriends more people along the way in one common goal of collecting furies in order to stop an evil company named dorfa from using said furies to revive the vile god. pretty basic rpg setting, go out collect the things and stop the bad guys, but anzu enjoys the writing aspect of it the most much like all compileheart-made games, really. they tried to make this series less all sunshine and rainbows like how the nep series is, and it's a good change of pace as well; it's not the best, but again it's just so them and silly and stupid at times, that anzu can't not like it.

the first two games have 3 endings and the last one has 2 of them, in most all games there's also a plot twist if you could call it that which you will see a mile away beforehand on how most always we're not all perfect either and one little thing can change so much about us. there's a lot of scenes about the characters finding themselves and trying to understand themselves and each other better, that anzu really enjoyed looking at a lot, and you also still have on top of that all the generally comical compheart writing that's funny... and even if the plot twists are sort of obvious, anzu thinks it's just how they handled everything in the writing that is so bizarre with this series alone that honestly made anzu go well. wow. how will they handle THIS now. and it made anzu just want to continue the story and such to see what's up next, and just generally try to find out more about the characters because they're all so... uniquely compheart-ish w

[cheesysoup-arlo]

Library

Janis x reader Fluff

You and Janis have been hanging out a lot more. Texting each other every day. You have a huge crush on her but your friendship was way more important to you so you couldn’t make a move.

(Y/N): hey J wanna go to the library? My mom is spending the weekend with her friends so I’m lonely and bored :(

J💕: yeah I’ll be at your house in like an hour? I gotta clean my room or my mom’s gonna lose her shit lmao

(Y/N): yayyy see you soon

J💕: see you soon <3

You quickly start getting ready, it’s finally spring so you put on something warm weather friendly with a little light jacket for the breeze. You’re excited to see Janis you love hanging out with her. You finish fixing your hair when you get a text.

J💕: hey I’m outside

(Y/N): ok I’ll be right out

You went outside with your bag slung on your shoulder. “Hey J” “hi (Y/N), get in you’re in charge of aux this time” “ooo ok” you say picking a song, you see her outfit it was green pants she had painted and a shirt she definitely pieced together herself it was off the shoulder and had long loose sleeves, she looked so cute. “Missed you (Y/N)” “Janis we literally saw each other yesterday at school” “oh am I not allowed to miss you” she joked making you laugh “I missed you too Jan” “uh huh sure” she said playfully rolling her eyes making you laugh more. You two got to the library and went straight to the cafe to get some coffee and pastries. You two headed up to the 7th floor of the library because you wanted to look at the queer romance novels. If you can’t experience it you might as well read it, right? You had been looking at books for like 20 minutes or so and found like two you liked. Janis had been a little off the whole day like she was always about to say something but didn’t. You also felt like she was looking at you a lot (that might sound weird) every time you would look at her she would pretend to be looking at something else and you finally got tired of it. “Janis?” “Yeah?” “You ok?” “Pssh me? yeah I’m ok, why wouldn’t I be ok? I’m super good” she said very awkwardly and gave a very dorky awkward thumbs up. You tried to hold in your laugh unsuccessfully. “Uh huh sure” you said through your laugh. “You know what fine, this has been on my mind for a while and I know we’re friends, good friends, some might even say best friends and I really like that but I think I like you?” “I like you too?” you say a little confused, not catching the hint “no (Y/N) I like like you” “oh? Really?” “Um yeah…” there was a little bit of hair in her face so you decided to push it behind her ear to see more of her beautiful face “I think I like like you too…can I kiss you?” She nods and blushes. You pull her in for a kiss, it’s gentle and her lips are so soft, you feel her arms wrap around your waist. You both pulled away but not completely your noses still touching “wow” you said “um you’re really um good at that, can we do that again” she said shyly, blushing a lot “oh absolutely” you said pulling her in for another kiss. You pulled away completely this time “I’ve been waiting to do that for a while” “me too…so does this mean that we’re…you know…?” “If you’re asking if this makes you my girlfriend then yes…Janis will you be my girlfriend?” you say smiling hopefully. “Yes absolutely yes” she said enthusiastically pulling you in for another kiss. “So girlfriend can I hold your hand?” “Of course you can” you two held hands while continuing to look at books for a little longer till you two headed to her house to hang out and watch movies. You ended up falling asleep on her cuddling.

A/N: Sorry if this is short i hope y’all like it <3

[amielbjacobs]

Shield and Sword Liveblog

This was the point where I discovered that the english translation had cut out a bunch of stuff from the Russian original, so I went back to check a few scenes in the Russian:

He could not act otherwise either. His duty was to be where it was most dangerous to be a man.

This is such a good line to me - maybe it seems obvious, but it's so much the thing that Seventeen Moments refuses to admit. Even tho this book came first it almost feels like a deconstruction of Seventeen Moments.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a conversation that is like 4 lines of dialogue in the translation, and it's Johann talking up the Nazi victory to a German cab driver

whose 3 sons just died working in Reichsmarshall Goering's mines

and Johann's like "We will crush the weak and degenerate Slavs"

and the cab driver is like lmao good luck with that, Nazi

Johann: "I don't lose hope." Driver: "The Russians will help you do that."

Johann: "You are an old soldier, I see? Did you fight in the First World War?" Driver: "Yes. I reached the Urals." Johann: [surprised] "Well! You're a hero!" Driver: "Have you ever worked as a lumberjack?" Johann: "No." Driver: "Well, never mind, the Russians will teach us. They taught us how to cut down trees in the Urals. They didn't cut it all down during the First World War, but left some for the Second. There are plenty of forests there, enough for everyone."

I love the unmitigated despair of this conversation. And the way Johann's disguise as a Nazi makes him unable to have the natural human reaction to this. Johann is secretly encouraged by this encounter because he's like "Not all of the Germans are Nazis!"

But for me, as a reader, I am also focusing on the way that this driver isn't like "Well, maybe the Russians will liberate the country before too many more men die," he's like, "Soon the Russians will invade and make us all work as slave labor doing the kind of hard physical labor that killed my sons." And I don't think Johann gets that. I can't tell if the author does or doesn't.

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Aleksandr Belov, being young, did not have the chance to observe the NEP. He knew about this period only from books and movies. Therefore, probably, his idea of ​​Marszałkowska during the German occupation of Warsaw as a NEP den did not quite correspond to reality. But the disdainful expression on his face, the arrogant attitude towards various kinds of traders were quite consistent with the behavior and manners of the German occupiers.

this is cute to me, and they kind of fucked this up in the translation

instead of "as a NEP den" it says "as a black-marketeers' paradise," and that just fucks up the whole paragraph. It means something completely different, and it doesn't make sense.

Dietrich was unable to report the reasons for the delay because the captain had had a falling out with his driver, a handsome fellow with a capricious, weak-willed mouth, and had now made peace with him, and he had no time for Weiss. Kurt, Dietrich's driver, was packing the captain's things, and the captain was fussily helping him, apparently very pleased that the reconciliation had taken place. He told Weiss to get ready for the trip, and Kurt would go with them: he, Dietrich, could not stand loneliness...

More really sad Dietrich stuff.

The asphalt ended, they drove onto a country road, the car began to sway from side to side, several times it got stuck in deep puddles. Johann suggested that Kurt take over from him at the wheel. And when Kurt moved to the back seat, Dietrich moved there with him.

Damn. Good for them. I mean not really because they're Nazis but you know what I mean.

Realizing that it was a badge number on the prisoner's jacket, Johann found it quite quickly. The same as everyone else here. Nothing special about him. His face is bluish and swollen, his ears are round and wide, he's stooped. The only thing that's bald is his right eyebrow, because of the scar. “Not good for us, too old,” Johann declared dryly. "He's not even thirty. They all look like old men here." Johann, experiencing a frantic tension of spiritual forces, looked into their eyes, but his gaze met only a glassy, ​​dead flicker of eyes that seemed not to see him and did not want to see him. He did not exist for these people - that is what their looks meant. He did not exist - and that was all. He was nothing to them. Nothing in a gray uniform. Nothing, whose voice they would obey just as they would the voice of a loudspeaker.

This last paragraph is cut way down in the translation, and I think that's a shame - I think it's really compelling for Johann to look into these people's eyes and realize that he is just another Nazi to them, and to really feel the moral weight of that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lansdorf, the old guy who Johann is always giving massages to, is apparently in trouble with the Nazi Party for expressing the unforgivably liberal opinion that not all Jews should be killed, just most of them

“We Germans,” Landsdorf reasoned, “are endowed with the ability to master all forms of state obedience to perfection. The instinct of discipline and blind obedience is unusually developed in us. These are necessary qualities for an intelligence officer, but we lack the artistry that the French and the Slavs possess. Especially the Slavs – they have the traits of realistic fantasy. It is no accident that it was the Russians who gifted humanity with Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Chekhov. And the audacity! They carried out this revolution, damn it!”

it's embarrassing when American books do this shit and it's embarrassing when Russian books do it. If you're sitting down writing a scene where an officer from an enemy agent goes against his own ideology to talk up how sexy and big-dicked and smart the author's nationality is - stop and look at what you're doing! This is embarrassing! Have some self respect!

But Weiss did not know how closely Landsdorf was watching him. It was in this young corporal serving him that he found the artistry that the German intelligence officers so lacked. He had subtly noticed this artistry when Johann read aloud to him a boring French novel. Johann had an almost unconscious gift for transformation. And he, very subtly modulating his voice, conveyed the intonations, tonality, manner of pronunciation of those characters whose long monologues he read to the experienced, most important German intelligence officer, dozing in the bathtub, who had served the Kaiser, Hindenburg, and Hitler with equal devotion - as, incidentally, did the entire generalship of the Third Reich.

lmao. Landsorf wants to fuck him so bad.

Weiss talked to the commandants, listened to their complaints, lamentations, and reasoning. The complaints were almost the same everywhere. The administration was forced to provide camp containers not only for prisoners of war, but also for the elimination of excess eaters in the "liberated territories." Shootings were too wasteful a measure: they consumed a significant amount of ammunition needed by the front, but, unfortunately, only large concentration camps were equipped with capital destruction equipment. And all the commandants expressed sympathy for the Abwehr: yes, it was very difficult to find reliable material here! Johann was amazed that the Sonderführers did not even remember the faces of those prisoners who worked for the Germans - they distinguished them only by numbers. It was some kind of incomprehensibly dull indifference, sometimes even good-natured, similar to the attitude towards animals in a slaughterhouse. Among the camp administrations, there were often beasts in human guise, inventively and tirelessly inventing sophisticated tortures - they were considered enthusiastic but useful eccentrics. However, mass actions required organizational and economic skills. And those who possessed such skills were valued more than sadists who did not sufficiently contribute to the main thing - the planned killing of prisoners. And this side of the camps' activities was strictly controlled.

Initially I was just like "this depiction of the Third Reich is less miserable to read than other Soviet novels, regardless of how accurate it is." But now I'm starting to feel like its depiction of Nazi Germany is in fact fairly accurate and insightful, at least as regards the ideological and psychological stuff. There's definitely some weird superhero-type pulp-type heroics from the protagonists which kind of kills the accuracy, but I like the way this book depicts both the banality of evil and the core place of anti-semitism in Nazi ideology. I feel like there's a nasty tendency in American media to reduce Nazism to a sort of generic ultimate evil, and in Russian media to reduce Nazism to an ultimately anti-Russian evil, and both of those really shy away from the specific and specifically anti-semitic character of Nazi atrocities.

And he, preventing such sabotage, is now fulfilling, perhaps, the most glorious Chekist duty: he is saving people. He is saving their honor, their good name.

[press X to doubt]

The first Chekist emblem depicts a sword and a shield. Yes, the Chekist strikes the enemy with a punishing sword, but he is given a shield not to defend himself, but to protect all Soviet people. This is what the chekist Dzerzhinsky told him. "The shield is your communist heart, and nothing will protect a Soviet person from trouble as reliably as the pure heart of a communist." Well, Johann wanted to destroy the traitors, the werewolves he had identified here, to kill them himself. The miner had probably already removed that "rabbit" in the experimental camp, maybe not with his own hands: they had a large underground organization there. But was finding out who was hiding under number 740014, was finding the miner less important than identifying the traitor? Now Johann would report him to the Center, and the miner's family would learn that the missing husband and father was worthy of great respect, and would be proud of him.

one of the things Johann keeps doing is reporting back to the Centre about POWs who are still trying to stick it to Nazi Germany while imprisoned - and I believe the implication is that this will save them from the reprisals faced by Soviet POWs in the USSR after the war

Or at least Johann believes it will? we've seen a couple of situations where Johann puts his faith blindly in the NKVD and Stalin and the author comments on how the NKVD/Stalin is not living up to his standards

so it's not always 100% clear that Johann's propagandizing is to be taken at face value

god! I want to put him in a jar and shake him

Sometimes everything around him began to seem like a fantastic delirium to Johann, like the dreams of a madman. Here he is playing skat with his peers at a table covered with a clean tablecloth, drinking beer. They tell him about their childhood, about their parents, dreaming that the war would end soon so they could return home. They joke, play the accordion, sing. And then one of them gets up and, regretfully announcing that it is time for him to go on duty, puts on a cap, hangs a machine gun around his neck, takes a stick or a whip and goes to the camp to beat, torture, kill. And he, Alexander Belov, waves goodbye to this murderer, smiles affably, writes down the field post office number so that they can correspond in a friendly manner later, and loudly regrets that such a good guy is leaving the company.

Johann is losing his shit and I'm living for it

Alexander Belov is Johann's real name, idk if I mentioned that before.

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Extended Hitler POV scene here. The Brits cut this one out and you know what? They were right. God Save the Queen, the Brits know that no book was ever improved by a hitler POV scene.

WHY are Soviet novels like this

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The annals of the intelligence services of capitalist countries contain boastful reports of rapid operations that could be considered simple plagiarism: wash them of blood and dirt - and you have before you an old picaresque novel. The only difference is that its characters are completely devoid of vivid imagination and are reduced to the level of petty executors of a plan unknown to them.

wow

bold words from a man currently writing a pulpy spy thriller

Descriptions of such action-packed operations can be found in the catalogs of all the intelligence services in the world; it is quite entertaining reading. But the mission that fell to Johann Weiss was devoid of fireworks brilliance. Not a blitz tournament with predetermined moves, but the greatest test of the spiritual strength of convictions, moral concepts, the ability not to lose faith even in those people who have been deprived of their homeland and honor, whose conscience is bloodied - this is what lay ahead of him, this is what awaited him.

This book is the closest tonally to James Bond compared to other Soviet spy novels, so I think Kozhevnikov has some nerve being like "REAL men don't do action packed adventure."

John le Carre is also up on his high horse about this, but his protagonists aren't hot, action-ready men who are good at everything who everyone wants to fuck. It sounds hollow coming from Kozhevnikov. This is a pulp thriller novel, just accept that you're writing a pulp thriller novel.

The school was attended by various people, mostly carefully selected scum, who had proven themselves to the enemy by their baseness and despicable cowardice. Johann could not even mentally compare them with those prisoners of war who, in the same conditions that killed everything human in a person, remained Soviet people, preserved their dignity and showed the greatest heroism that remained unknown. They heroically fought for the continuation of existence - not for the sake of saving their lives, but in order to remain Soviet people until their death, without submitting, and to confirm their immortality by death itself. And others are carrion. And hatred for these living dead burned in Johann. He had to suppress his hatred and at the same time not give in to condescending pity for those who became victims of their own weakness. And more than once he recalled the words of Felix Dzerzhinsky: “A person can only sympathize with public misfortune if he sympathizes with some specific misfortune of each individual person…” Of course, among these traitors there are probably simply unfortunate people who meekly succumbed to circumstances, unable to find the strength to resist. So, will he sympathize with slugs? But doesn't the shield of the Motherland also extend over those who have lost everything, but have not lost it hopelessly and can still be returned to the Motherland? And the Motherland has handed this shield to him, Johann Weiss. It is incomparably more difficult to wield a shield here than a punishing sword, but he must learn this, so as not to irrevocably surrender to the enemy those who have been defeated, but can still rise if a saving hand is extended to them. But will he have enough strength, determination to help, to keep a man hanging on the edge of the abyss from a final fall!

So this is the part where the story actually starts to grapple with the fact that Johann is passing judgement over these starving people in death camps - that he is judging them for being traitors to the USSR while at the same time, in his guise as a Nazi, threatening to kill, torture, and starve them if they don't become traitors to the USSR.

He belonged to that generation of Soviet youths whose hearts were scorched by the events in Spain, on whom the tragic battles of the Spanish Republicans and the International Brigades with the fascist phalanxes of Franco, Mussolini, and Hitler left an indelible mark, and gave rise to an unshakable determination to devote their lives to the fight against fascism, to defeat it, and to destroy it. Alexander Belov chose a selfless path and abandoned the scientific field, although he probably could have achieved something under the kind guidance of Academician Linev. With strict puritanism, he prepared himself for the chosen goal. But, having abandoned much, he denied himself the right to be lenient to those who, in the pre-storm, tense time, for one reason or another, avoided mobilizing their will. Such features of his views were formed under the influence of ideas about the qualities that, in his opinion, a Chekist should have. This obsession, a high consciousness of duty helped him overcome in his character traits that he considered elements of psychological disorganization. And he pulled himself together, subordinating everything to his will, purposeful, aimed at one thing - to fulfill his duty to the Motherland as best as possible. Yes, Belov had considered himself sufficiently armed until now. But the type of work that lay before him in the fascist reconnaissance and sabotage "Vali's headquarters" plunged him into confusion. He had to deal not with the Nazis, but with their accomplices, who were his former compatriots. Each of them is invisibly overgrown with a tragic and dirty crust of meanness and cowardice. How can one penetrate this crust into other people's souls and patiently and impartially check whether the core has rotted or has only turned black on top, like blood on a human wound? After all, one can restore faith in life to such people only by forcing them to once again take the path of struggle that they have renounced.

I like that we're trying to grapple with the moral ambiguity here. I especially like the idea that Johann/Alexander is a guy who was raised in a time and in a profession that delivered him an entirely black and white view of the world, but who is now being forced to grapple with moral ambiguity.

But there's also a moralistic, preachy tone here which I find repugnant. As if Johann is a priest looking at these starving, bedraggled, traumatized men and being like "I have to figure out which ones of these have lost their faith in Jesus, and which ones are going to go to Hell!" How can you demand faith in anything in such a situation? How can you demand anything of such people who have already had everything taken away from them?

Ugh.

I do wonder if we're going to revisit this theme later when Johann has to reckon with his affection for his boyfriend old best friend Heinrich, a genuine Nazi who becomes repentant.

This man, probably like other outstanding professionals, major figures in German intelligence, was consumed by vanity. He longed to develop an unprecedented operation, to surpass the most famous intelligence services in the art of cunning. To become famous in this field, to become a universally recognized catcher of souls, to immortalize himself, to forever inscribe his name in the history of secret wars. All of Landsdorf's thoughts were focused on this unknown operation, which he was sure would one day make him famous. And he felt happy only at night, when he could shake off all the bothersome worries of everyday life and, in the silence, sweetly ponder the endless options, the cunning moves of this operation, and anticipate the triumph that awaited him. This was the case at night, and during the day, by the will of unfair fate, he had to do petty work.

If you like this type of guy, you will love my novel . . .

Like many young men of his generation, Johann was accustomed to thinking that there were only class enemies, with an assortment of obvious signs, recognized more than once in the struggle - signs as obvious as birthmarks. Yes, there were such, with these clearly defined signs. And with them everything was simple and obvious, and the consciousness of this obviousness freed him from the painful need to explain their betrayal to himself. But there were others - those who could not be brought under the familiar rubric that relieved the consciousness. This means that there is something else hidden, which is made up of the sum of moral traits that are embodied in the peculiarities of character. The iron of conviction does not grow together with the spiritual fat of selfishness. Submission to circumstances deprives a person of will, he is not able to rise up against them and not commit treason.

I kind of love this, even tho it is still sanctimonious

but he's being forced to face the idea that not all traitors are inhuman scum

"And, you will notice, very few of them ask about the form of remuneration. At first I thought it suspicious. But then I became convinced that they were so absorbed in morbidly sensitive memories of their past that they were incapable not only of taking a sober, everyday interest in their future, but even of clearly assessing their present, advantageous position in comparison with that of their compatriots in our concentration camps."

^ this is a Nazi talking, but all of this talk about remuneration is weird. There's this, and there was also an earlier scene where Johann was kind of judging some of the prisoners for asking about remuneration. I'm really confused why anyone would think that they would be getting paid here. These are prisoners in death camps, being recruited to work by Nazi officers. No one in that situation is under any delusions, surely, about the nature of the exchange: your "remuneration" is that you might not get gassed like everyone else. They shouldn't be asking "Will I get new privileges after the war?" they should be asking "What guarantee do I have that you will continue to let me live after the war?"

I could understand like, an anti-Soviet partisan expecting the Germans to pay him or give him a cushy job after the war - it would be stupid, but I mean, people are stupid sometimes - but these people have just been in death camps.

It's weird. It's not that Kozhevnikov doesn't know or believe how terrible the conditions were in these camps, because he talks about it at length. But it's like he keeps forgetting it whenever it's not directly on-screen.

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this Nazi is lecturing about how non-Russian peoples will never defy the Soviet Union

and I both think this is stupid and propagandistic

and also think it's annoying to put it in a book which

as far as I can tell

has like 0 non-Russian soviets in it

Maybe some of these people are Ukrainian or Belarusian, but if so it's not really made explicit

Even tho it started out in Latvia

Jesus christ there's so much of this

A huge quantity of the stuff cut is just bullshit, just absolute bullshit

but occasionally there's some real gems

Each cadet was asked to write an essay on the topic “Why I am an enemy of Soviet power” during the next lesson. On the one hand, this essay was supposed to become a kind of promissory note, a pledge of a soul sold to enemies, and on the other hand, it provided material for research.

this bolded line was cut and I think it's really nice

Here's a line from one of the Soviet POWs who Johann is recruiting to work under him, as an NKVD double agent.

"You're a good guy." He paused and added: "I didn't really respect your lot before. But now I see what kind of people you have: party-made." He grinned: "Now we're all Chekists here against the fascists. Regular and non-regular, but Chekists."

This is patriotic bullshit but I do kind of love it. I also like that we get to see a former dissident as a hero here.

In the show it's even more explicit about what "your lot" means: "You know, once I did not like your NKVD very much," is what the subtitles say. I like that.

The head of the school camp was a prisoner of war nicknamed "Titmouse" - heavy, flabby, extremely domineering and mercilessly demanding of the cadets. During the First World War, he was captured by the Germans. In 1930, while part of a Soviet trade delegation (he had an assignment to buy dyes for textile production), he remained in Germany. He received assistance from the White Guard center, and reported to the Gestapo on pro-Soviet emigrants. Abandoned as an agent to the Soviet Union, he chickened out. He squandered the money in restaurants and carousing. Recalled back, he was put in a concentration camp, where he reported on imprisoned German communists, gaining their trust by posing as a Soviet citizen captured by the Gestapo. He failed. From the camp, he was taken into the Abwehr as an expert on Russian affairs. He was found to be ignorant. He became a translator. He married a streetwalker. He was expelled from the Abwehr for such an indecent marriage. He lived on his wife's income. When his wife ended up in a special hospital, he worked as a doorman at a night hotel. He came to the Soviet embassy. Somehow he managed to deceive them. They took pity on him and allowed him to return. Called up to the Red Army in July 1941, he defected to the Germans.

jesus christ, this guy has one hell of a backstory

this is like. a bit character.

the translators were right, there is a lot of flab to this story

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I don't know how accurate it is exactly, but I really enjoy the emphasis on the tension between the elitist and populist parts of the Nazi movement and how each Nazi character is given a specific disposition towards this ideological divide

it makes the Nazi characters much, much more interesting to read than the ones in Seventeen Moments

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There's a long subplot here about how Dietrichs really wants a Soviet POW with a missing leg that he can send into the USSR on a mission, and he's decided that in the absence of an existing disabled person, he'll just cut the legs off whatever Soviet POW he can get. I encountered this plotline first in the TV show, with bad subtitles, then in the abridged translated version, and then finally in the full google translated version.

In the TV show, I got confused and thought Dietrichs was proposing to cut the leg off a German soldier, which struck me as just an absurd plot point to introduce. But in the translated English book, it was a lot more clear to me that he was always planning to do this to a Soviet POW - which makes more sense, because he's a racist fuckwad who doesn't think Slavs are real people. It still feels kind of abrupt, though. in the original version, it's more expanded into this sort of pseudo-satire of this absurd Nazi who is both a clown and a monster, who is way too proud of this stupid-ass idea. So it does make sense in the original, it just suffered from the way it was delivered to me.

Also, even the other Nazis think he's stupid.

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We got our second canonically gay character here, AND she's not a real Nazi. I mean, she's a Nazi collaborator who tortures other prisoners for the Nazis, but like I said, I do not feel super comfortable judging concentration camp prisoners for collaborating.

There was a special person for [the purpose of torturing people] - who proudly called herself Inga Ratmirova, but also answered to the name Nyurka - stocky, broad-shouldered, with a plump upturned bottom pulled into breeches, short-cropped hair, with an even fringe on a low forehead and teeth turned brown from smoking. She had masculine manners and masculine habits. A professional criminal, a great connoisseur of prison and camp customs, she submitted a petition while still in prison asking to be sent to the front and was sent to a military unit as a medical orderly. And when she was captured, German soldiers found many wristwatches, cigarette cases, and crumpled wads of money in her medical bag.

. . . admittedly, she's also a rapist:

The women arriving from the occupied areas already had experience in collaborating with the Germans and in establishing connections with them, and they had not lost their physical health. Therefore, they resolutely rebuffed Nyurka when she tried to show some of her specific inclinations, but some of the girls, exhausted and weakened by torture and interrogation in the Gestapo prisons, she, pretending to look after them with care, forced to give in to her.

But listen . . . she's not bad, she's just written that way. I could fix her . . .

I am not using trigger warnings here because there's SO MUCH dark stuff in this book, but the next excerpt is really dark:

Captain Clara Kaufman herself was distinguished by her highly moral behavior, despite the fact that, thanks to her hygienic lifestyle, she looked very youthful and no one could say that this woman was over forty. And the uniform suited her figure, and her sharp-nosed, bird-like face was fresh, and there was not a single wrinkle on her high neck. […] Nyurka's vicious inclinations aroused in her a natural feeling of disgust. But, in her soul, fearing this sometimes furious criminal capable of anything, Captain Aufbaum limited her protests about the indecent behavior of her deputy for political affairs by persecuting with cold and harsh hatred the cadets who enjoyed Nyurka's favor. For the slightest offense, she sent them to a concentration camp. And if the offense was serious, she sent them to an SS unit located near the school. This unit carried out liquidation operations in the area of ​​the garbage dump, around which were placed pillars with the inscription "Forbidden zone", common for places where executions were carried out.

So Nyurka's superior officer is sending all of her girlfriends to the death camp. I was a little afraid that the story might try to make Captain Aufbaum into a sympathetic character, but, thank god, the novel seems almost as repulsed by her as I am.

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GOD there's more INTERMINABLE SCENES WITH HITLER'S HIGH COMMAND

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"Femininity for a female agent has two sides — positive and negative. The first is bait. The second — using this bait, the agent can get so carried away that she will turn it into an end in itself, forgetting why she uses her appearance as bait. In civilized countries — I exclude Russia from this number — in addition to the corrupt women of a certain profession, there are men who have dedicated themselves to the same kind of activity. We use them only in Western directions. As for these Eastern agents of ours, we do not reproach you for the excessively high percentage of suicides among them. Among the male contingent, there are also such incidents."

This is a Nazi agent talking about the use of sex in spying . . . I think this is another reference to homosexuality? "There are men who have dedicated themselves to the same kind of activity." Because if it was talking about men who seduce women, I don't see why the book would go out of their way to say it doesn't work on Russians. I don't think Vadim Kozhevnikov suffers from the delusion that Russian men are less horny than either Western men or Russian women.

This book really is a lot like James Bond - it's darker in tone, but it's otherwise very close. Including: action scenes, protagonist who gets the shit kicked out of him at every opportunity but is still the special-est boy, political views that are both repellent and more nuanced than you expected, and, of course, gay villains

[dizzymoods]

my down ballot:

I’m Chet Klansman. I want to kill all immigrants legal ones too. I want to close all schools including voucher schools and force women to teach their own children. I’m a hunter so i know the value of the environment (good hunting grounds) i will weaponize the NEP to assassinate any litterers except of course exxxon mobile.

I’m kayyleigyh kennedy (no relation). I want healthcare and jobs for all! 58$ minimum wage? you bet. execute anyone who makes over 300k in investments? sure why not. Let’s talk with Maduro so he doesn’t ally with Russia/China. We need his oil! Let’s negotiate a fair deal to end the war in ukraine to [and this is not a part of the bit, i was gaggedt] “refocus Putin’s legacy on peace”. Israel has a right to atomic bomb Palestine and after they do that we should send in humanitarian aid.

Hey it’s libby the libertarian. abortions should be free but so should guns for toddlers. also, let’s defund the government and form a spokescouncil!

[landoflustfulladies]

sinfulfluff

Burnice is basically a mix of Rise and Harley Quinn, the latter's vibes with the former's personality (and a tinge of pyromaniacal crazy), so I think she'd be someone you'd enjoy playing. And Zhu Yuan could also be a good fit, given she's a very morally upright good girl police officer, who could easily be used for soft, good vibes stuff, or hard, punishing "bad end" style smut.

Well it definitely helps that I absolutely love Burnice's design, so I might read up on her a bit and see how I feel~

As for the Zhu Yuan suggestion, honestly if I played any member of NEPS it'd probably be Tomiya~ Fun fact, she's currently my discord avatar~