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pagesuponstpages · 6 years ago

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one running dog, two spilt drinks & three times meeting again

warnings: brief mentions of alcohol & tabloid magazines

word count: +1.8k

synopsis: the three times that you run into ashton, and almost every time forgetting to introduce yourselves.

a/n: happy valentine’s day! and surprise @crystalisinfinite ! i’m your valentine (!!!) and it was such a pleasure to be chatting and writing things for you! this is technically my first time writing with second person so sorry if it’s bad but I hope you enjoy it ♥️ (also sorry again that it’s kinda late and barely valentine’s day lol) also tagging @killerlukesqueen cause it was her valentine’s swaps (ty for setting up all of this)

The first time you met Ashton, it wasn’t the best time.

You were running late, they messed up your order at the cafe and to top it off, the dog that you were pet sitting for your neighbor Karoline, who was gonna be out of town for the next four days, was much faster at running than what Karoline had said. Ergo, you slammed into a body, spilling all of your drink over them, and Karoline’s dog, Sadie took off, the leesh trailing behind her.

“Sadie! Come back here!” you shouted, desperately hoping that the dog would turn around and sit patiently for you to clean up the mess that you’ve made.

“I don’t think she’s coming back,” he said, bemused. You refocused back on the dude that had your iced chocolate spilled all over his shirt, nearly soaking through his entire shirt.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” You grabbed the three napkins from your pants pocket, offering them to him, hesitating. If it had been someone you knew, you would be trying to dab the stains out immediately. But now, with this handsome stranger, you had some restraint.

“Nah, you’re good,” he said. You dropped the now empty plastic cup into the trash, that was conveniently nearby the two of you. “And to be fair, I spilled my iced coffee on you too.” That’s why your shirt was sticking to your skin.

“God, I’m gonna be late,” you groaned, checking your wristwatch at the time. You maybe had enough time to head back to your apartment to wash up before you would drop off Sadie to the daycare, and barely make it to work on time. “Hey, I’m really sorry, and I’ll pay you back for the coffee, but I need to find Sadie before I inexplicably lose my job.”

“Woah, woah,” he said, raising his eyebrows, “I’ll help you find Sadie, and I should be paying you back, since I ran into you.” You shook your head.

“No, I won’t let you.” Your phone dinged, taking your attention.

unknown number:

hi. I think I found your dog?

omg! thank you!

I’m still in the park, by the greek.

will be there in 3. thank you again

You nearly praised the heavens, seeing that text. Then you almost forgot about the guy.

“Listen, I gotta run, but thanks for the offer!” And you sped off, before he could say another word.

The second time you met, it was in a target.

You were getting your weekly groceries (and maybe a couple of extra things) at the ungodly hours of the morning, just because hardly anyone would be there. Not that going to target a few hours later from now was bad, it just wasn’t ideal, especially when other ladies and moms alike would stare at you funny for having too many chip bags in your cart and wearing sweats with slides.

It was at the produce section, you debating if it was worth the extra 1.89 for getting an avocado over the regular salad mix in your futile attempts to have a healthier diet (and also to show any judging cashiers or judging moms that you did not eat just chips and instant ramen even though you totally did).

“Dog walker?” You spin around, to see him grinning at you, the red basket in hand.

“Coffee boy?” He looked at you with raised eyebrows.

“I’m a boy?” You snorted, turning back to your avocados and salad mix.

“Sure why not,” you grumbled under your breath. It was at this point that you were silently thinking through eeney-miney-moe, because decision making? Who was she?

“Get the avocados, they’re healthier than the salad mix that’s mostly full of sugar from the toppings.” You hesitated, before grabbing two avocados and gently placing them in the cart, next to the two chip bags you picked up earlier.

The two of you continued to walk down the produce aisle, which consisted of Ashton mostly recommending something probably green and definitely healthy but also totally over your budget.

“Are you a dietitian? Or a trainer?” You said suddenly, while he was picking up a bunch of kale. You presumed so, as he was clad in a hoodie, basketball shorts and slides, along with the food advice that he’d been giving you for the past 10 minutes.

“Nah,” he chuckled, “I just like to keep up a healthy diet, especially cause my life kinda crazy and it doesn’t give me much options at 1 am.” You nodded, following him to the dairy section.

“At least you’re better than me, I would eat all the taco bell and mcdonalds if I would be eating at 1 am.” He laughed, tilting his head back.

“You’re just like Cal and Mikey,” he said, shaking his head. You raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for an explanation. There were a few beats of silence, save for the whirr of nearby shopping carts and the faint pop chart music playing in the background.

“Cal and Mikey..” you trailed. He looked up from the container of greek yogurt, his eyes studying your face.

“Oh right,” he said, nodding. “Cal and Mikey are my best friends, and we work at the same place.” You tilted your head, waiting for more. He put the greek yogurt into the basket, before continuing.

“And we all end up finishing around 2 am, but Luke and I planned ahead with healthy snacks and salads and shit, while those two would order from postmates from the limited choices at 2 am.”

“And I would join them,” you followed, without any pause. He chuckled, shaking his head.

“But now you don’t have to! Cause I’m changing your meal plan!” He pointed at the items in your cart. “Well, except for those,” he said, mentioning the noticeable chip bags and sleeves of cookies that were next to everything else that he had helped in choosing, “those were there before I got here.”

Shopping continued, along with you convincing him to put a doritos bag and a package of oreos (abit the thin ones, but hey you tried with the double stuf at first), because “you never know when your friends hang out at your place and to their disappointment, all you have are booze and kale chips.” You both checked out in the same line, reading the titles of the gossip rags in hushed yet mocking tones.

“Jennifer Aniston with another man?!”

“Kendall Jenner takes another spill on the road?!”

And then, after he helped you put your groceries in the trunk of your car, he waved you off, both of you completely forgetting to get each other’s number. Or even each other’s names.

The third time you ran into Ashton, it was at a party.

Your friend, Karoline had dragged you to said party, because “you don’t go out enough,” and to be fair you haven’t but she didn’t know that admission.

The party was at a club in downtown LA, the name leaving you, but it was three things that were seemingly the worst combination: dark, loud, and full of absolutely smashed people.

“Why do we have to still be here?” you said, whining. Karoline shrugged, handing you another drink.

“Because it’s part of my work and I’m dying up here.” Oh yeah.

Karoline’s work had always thrown wild parties, filled with the social elite of the city and those trying to climb to that position. The record label that Karoline was apart of always had “some excuse” to throw these wild ragers, usually along the lines of some artist that they produced had reached number one in the nation.

“I’m gonna find something to eat.” You got up from your spot from the barstool tables scattered on the edges of the dancefloor, your eyes searching for those promised tables of fancy hors d'oeuvres that she would always rave about the following day, hungover in your apartment.

Once you found said table, surprisingly still full of different finger food with names that you could barely pronounce, you nearly tripped into the lined up pastries, due to someone bumping into you.

“Sorry,” he said, with a voice garbled in the loud atmosphere, yet oddly familiar.

“It’s alright,” you said. He turned around, nearly spilling his drink all over you.

“Dog walker!” he said, his eyes lighting up as he recognized your face.

“Coffee boy!” you replied, trying to say it with the same amount of enthusiasm as he did.

“Coffee boy?” someone said, now standing next to him. He had dyed blond hair, with his dark roots and scruffy eyebrows, staring at you with a smirk.

“He spilled coffee on me,” you said, hoping to give some explanation. The blond boy’s eyes widened in recognition, a grin spreading on his face. “So you’re dog walker with the same terrible eating habits as me.” Then it clicked.

“Mikey, is it?” He shook his head.

“That’s Cal,” Ashton said, “and the other two are somewhere else.” You nodded.

“Wow, so you guys work for Capitol Records?” Cal snorted, while Ashton took a gulp of his drink.

“You didn’t tell her?” You stared at the two of them, watching them have a internal conversation filled with head nods and shrugs, waiting for an explanation.

“I didn’t see the need to,” Ashton finally said. Cal sighed, shaking his head.

“I’m gonna find Luke,” he said. The combination of names, the ones he mentioned at target coupled with the knowledge that they all worked together at Capitol Records ticked something in your head, but maybe it was the alcohol and lack of food that prevented you from making the full conclusion.

“I’m Ash,” he said, extending his hand out. You giggled, shaking his hand, as you said your own. He then repeated it, and something between a smirk and a grin was slowly spreading on his lips.

“And you do?” He shakily laughed, tilting his head down.

“I’m a drummer, for a band,” Ashton said, meeting your eyes. You raised an eyebrow. “Might I know of said band?” you questioned the red-haired drummer.

“I’m only slightly offended that you have all the pieces, but haven’t connected the dots yet.”

“I’m kinda tipsy and I mostly listen to indie or alternative artists?”You shrugged.

Ashton shook his head, smiling. “The boys and I are in a pop punk turned alt pop band, called 5SOS?” His voice got progressively higher, his demenour much more tense than moments ago, or even the other two times that you two had run into each other.

“Never heard of them,” you said immediately, watching his expression change with raised eyebrows and a smirk.

“You’re truly something,” he said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“Nah, I’m just me. And here for the free fancy-pants food.” He barked in laughter.

“Of course you are.”

#this was fun to write #ashton irwin fluff #ashton irwin fanfic #ashton irwin #5sosff #5sos imagine #5sos #luke hemmings #calum hood #michael clifford #also i technically need to edit this but oh well hope it's decent #5 seconds of summer #ashton fletcher irwin #ashton irwin imagine #happy valentine's day #klq's valentine's swaps #my writing #content creation

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rakeshraseo321 · 2 years ago

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swanqueeneverafter · 8 years ago

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19. The Crocodile, Pt.3

The Enchanted Forest. Present. (Mulan is tying Captain Hook to a tree while Emma, Mary Margaret, and Aurora interrogate him.) Captain Hook: “I already told you. I'm just a blacksmith.” Emma: “Sure you are. (She whistles:) You don't want to talk to us? Maybe you'll talk to the ogres while they rip you limb from limb. Come on.” (They start to leave.) Captain Hook: “What? You... you can't just leave me here like this!” Aurora: “What if he's telling the truth?” Emma: “He's not.” Captain Hook: “Good for you! You bested me. I can count the amount of people who've done that on one hand.” Emma: (Walking back towards him:) “That supposed to be funny? Who are you?” Captain Hook: “Killian Jones, but most people have taken to call me by my more colorful moniker... Hook.” Mary Margaret: “Hook.” Captain Hook: “Check my satchel.” (Mary Margaret checks his satchel.) Emma: “As in Captain Hook?” Captain Hook: “Ah, so you've heard of me.” (Mary Margaret removes his hook and gasps.) Emma: “You better hurry up. They're getting closer. So unless you wanna be dinner, you better start talking.” Captain Hook: “Cora wanted me to gain your trust so I could learn everything there is to know about your Storybrooke. She didn't want any surprises when she finally got over there.” Mary Margaret: “She can't get there. We destroyed the wardrobe.” Captain Hook: “Ah, but the enchantment remains. Cora gathered the ashes. She's gonna use them to open up a portal. (Ogre sounds get louder:) Now if you'll kindly cut me loose.” Mulan: “No. We should leave him here to die to pay for all the lives that he took.” Captain Hook: “That was Cora, not me.” Emma: “Let's go.” Captain Hook: “Wait. Wait! You need me alive.” Emma: “Why?” Captain Hook: “Because we both want the same thing, to get back to your land.” Emma: “You would say anything to save yourself. Why are we supposed to believe you now?” Captain Hook: “I arranged for transport with Cora, but, seeing how resourceful you are, I'll offer you the same deal, I'll help you if you promise to take me along.” Mary Margaret: “How are you going to help us get home?” Captain Hook: “The ashes will open a portal, but to find your land, she needs more. There's an enchanted compass. Cora seeks it. I'll help you obtain it before she does.” Emma: “So Cora won't make it to Storybrooke, and we'll be one step closer to getting home.” Mary Margaret: “Sounds too good to be true.” Captain Hook: “There's only one way to find out.” Emma: (Ogres get closer and louder:) “You tell me one thing, and whatever you say I better believe it. Why does Captain Hook want to go to Storybrooke?” Captain Hook: “To exact revenge on the man who took my hand, Rumplestiltskin.”

Storybrooke. Present day. Granny's Diner. (Mr. Gold and David are asking Ruby about Belle.) Ruby: “Belle, huh? Sorry. Doesn't ring a bell.” David: “Ruby, listen to me. If you've come across her, you gotta tell me. I'll make sure nothing bad happens.” Ruby: “Yeah, but what about him?” David: “I've got him. Trust me.” Ruby: “She was in earlier. She was looking for a job. I pointed her in the direction of the library.” Mr. Gold: “Well do you think she went there?” Ruby: “Don't know. (Walks behind the counter:) But when you find her, give her this. (She retrieves a scarf and places it on the counter:) She left it in her booth.” Mr. Gold: “That's mine. She didn't have anything for the cold.” Ruby: “You sure you'll watch out for her?” David: “Yes. Why?” Ruby: “I think- I think I–can find her. Lately, since things changed, I've been, uh, a little more sensitive to odors.” Mr. Gold: “What, you can smell her?” (Ruby holds her hand out for the scarf and Mr. Gold hands it back to her.) Ruby: “I guess it's 'cause of the wolf thing.” Storybrooke. Present day. (Ruby is leading Mr. Gold and David to Belle by following her scent.) David: “What's wrong?” Ruby: “I had her, but I- I lost her trail. (Sneezes and inhales deeply:) Oh. It must be the flowers. I- I can't track her anymore. I'm sorry.” Mr. Gold: “Don't be. This is her father's shop.” (They enter the shop.)

Moe: “You? Out. This is a private establishment. You're not welcome.” Mr. Gold: “Where's Belle?” David: “I won't let anything happen to her, Moe.” Ruby: “We're just worried.” Moe: “Don't be. She's safe. So you can stop looking.” Mr. Gold: “Look, if I could just have the chance to talk to her.” Moe: “You will destroy Belle like you destroy everything else. Well, I won't let that happen.” Mr. Gold: “What have you done with her?” Moe: “There's only one way to get her away from you.” Mr. Gold: “What have you done with her?” Moe: “I have to make her forget about you, no matter the cost. Even if it means she forgets me, too.” Mr. Gold: “He's sending her across the town line.” David: “Where are you sending Belle across? You know we have patrols on the Storybrooke line to make sure no one crosses accidentally. So how are you planning to pull it off?” Mr. Gold: “Where?! Where are you sending her across? Tell me where!” David: “Stop it. You're gonna kill him. (He looks at Moe's hand:) You've been down in the mines. The tunnels. They lead out of town.” The Enchanted Forest. Past. (Milah is helping Killian onto the Jolly Roger.) Ship Crew Member 1: “Move it out!” Ship Crew Member 2: “Milah, what happened?” Milah: “Fetch some water.” Ship Crew Member 3: “Get the Captain water!” Milah: “And get me that prisoner from below deck along with the booty he carried. Now!” Ship Crew Member 3: “Bring up the prisoner!” Rumplestiltskin: “Well, well, seems like you finally found the family you could never have with me.” Ship Crew Member 4: (Pushing the trader up the stairs from below the deck:) “All right, get your sorry arse up there.” Killian Jones: (Milah shows Rumplestiltskin the magic bean. He reaches for it, and she tosses it to Killian:) “You asked to see it, and now you have.” Milah: “Do we have a deal? Can we go our separate ways?” Rumplestiltskin: “Do you mean, do I forgive you? Can I move on? Perhaps. Perhaps. I can see you are truly in love.” Milah: “Thank you.” (She walks towards Killian.) Rumplestiltskin: “Just one question.” Milah: “What do you want to know?” Rumplestiltskin: “How could you leave Bae? Do you know what it was like walking home that night...” Milah: “Rumple...” Rumplestiltskin: “...knowing I had to tell our son...” Milah: “Please.” Rumplestiltskin: “...that his mother was dead?” Milah: “I was wrong to lie to you. I was the coward. I know that.”

Rumplestiltskin: (Shouting angrily:) “You left him! You abandoned him!” Milah: “And there's not a day that goes by that I don't feel sorry for that.” Rumplestiltskin: (Shouting even angrier:) “Sorry isn't enough! (Calmer:) You let him go.” Milah: “I let my misery cloud my judgment.” Rumplestiltskin: “Why were you so miserable?” Milah: “Because I never loved you.” (Rumplestiltskin sticks his hand into her chest to pull her heart out.) Killian Jones: “Milah! (He tries to stop him, but Rumplestiltskin flings him against the mast:) No!” (Jones frees himself and rushes to catch Milah as she falls down.) Milah: (To Killian:) “I love you.” (Rumplestiltskin crushes her heart into dust and she dies.) Killian Jones: (Softly:) “No. You may be more powerful now, demon, but you're no less a coward.” Rumplestiltskin: “I'll have what I came for now.” Killian Jones: “You'll have to kill me first.” Rumplestiltskin: “Ah-ah! I'm afraid that's not in the cards for you, sonny boy. (Rumplestiltskin cuts off his left hand and he falls to the ground in pain:) I want you alive because I want you to suffer like I did. (He turns to walk away, and Killian grabs a hook, driving it into Rumplestiltskin's chest:) Killing me is gonna take a lot more than that, dearie.” Killian Jones: “Even demons can be killed. I will find a way.” Rumplestiltskin: “Well, good luck living long enough.” (He disappears in a puff of smoke. Killian picks up the hook.)

The Enchanted Forest. Present. (Emma, Mary Margaret, Mulan, and Aurora are walking through the forest guided by Captain Hook.) Captain Hook: “Up ahead. We'll find the compass just over the ridge.” Mary Margaret: “Do you get the feeling he's leading us exactly where Cora wants us, that this whole thing's a trap?” Emma: “It's definitely a trap. As long as we know they're trying to play us, we can...” Mary Margaret: “...stay one step ahead of them.” Emma: “Exactly. (In the distance, Emma sees a beanstalk standing in the middle of a field:) Let me guess... the compass is up there?” Captain Hook: “Oh, yeah.” Emma: “So how do we... get to it?” Captain Hook: “It's not the climb you need to worry about. It's the giant at the top.” (The five proceed onward.) Storybrooke. Present day. (In the mines, Smee is chaining Belle to a mine cart to send her over the town line.) Belle: “Please. Please, please stop. What are you doing?” Smee's Counterpart: “Sending you on a little ride under the town line. Once you cross, you'll forget who you were in the other realm and who you loved. This (He hands her a flash light:) should help you find the key. I left it at the bottom of the cart. Good luck.” Belle: “Oh! I'm begging you! Please don't- don't do this! Please! (The wagon screeches and stops and is pulled back by magic. Belle screams:) Stop! What's happening?!” Ruby: “That is seriously, wow.” Mr. Gold: “Belle, are you all right?” Belle: “I, uh, I think so.” Mr. Gold: “Do you remember who I am?” Belle: “I do. Rumplestiltskin. I- I remember.” Mr. Gold: “What's wrong?” Belle: “Thank you for what you just did, but that doesn't change that you're too cowardly to be honest with me.” Mr. Gold: “But, Belle, I...” Moe: “I tried to tell him that, Belle. Come with me, darling.” Belle: “After what you just tried to do to me? You're no better, father. You don't get to decide what I do or how I feel. I do. If either of you cared about me, you would've listened. I don't wanna see either of you again. Ever.”

The Enchanted Forest. Present. Emma: (Looking up at the beanstalk:) “It's a little freakier than I remember from the story.” Mulan: “Reminds me of death.” Mary Margaret: “Encouraging.” Hook: “Well, your compass awaits. Shall we?” Emma: “Wait. If these beans...create...portals, why not just pick one and go home? Why the compass?” Hook: “Because there aren't any more beans. Whatever story you think you know, my dear, is most certainly wrong.” Emma: “There was a guy named Jack and a cow and something about an evil giant with a treasure and a golden goose. Or harp.” Hook: “Sounds like a lovely tale, but the truth's a little bit more gruesome. The giants grew the beans, but rather than use them for good, they used them to plunder all the lands. Jack and his men fought a terrible war, defeating all but one of the evil giants. The beans were destroyed by the giants as they died. If they couldn't have their magic, then nobody could. It's really very bad form.” Emma: “Evil giants who made magic portal beans? Why doesn't anyone just go up and grow some more?” Hook: “Because one giant survived... the strongest and most terrible of them all. And we'll have to get past him to...” Mary Margaret: “The magic compass.” Hook: “Indeed. The treasure remains, and amongst it is the compass. Now it will guide us to your land. Cora has the means to open a portal with the wardrobe ashes, but she can't find your land without the compass. Once we get it, steal the ashes from her, and we're on our way.” Mulan: “How do we know you're not just using us to get the compass for Cora?” Hook: “Because you four are far safer company. All I need is a ride back. I'll swear allegiance to whomever gets me there first.” Emma: “Then we'd better start climbing.” Hook: “Right. So...I failed to mention that the giant enchanted the beanstalk to repel intruders.” Emma: “All right, so how do we get up there?” Hook: “I've got a counter spell from Cora, if you'd be so kind. (Mary Margaret frees his hands:) Thank you, milady. (Holds up his arm revealing a magical cuff:) I've got one more of these. Cora was to accompany me. So... which one of you four lovelies shall take her place? Hmm? Go on. Fight it out. Don't be afraid to, you know, really get into it.” Enchanted Forest. Past. (In his home, Rumplestiltskin comes over to a table were many items are on including a picture of Baelfire which he smiles at. He opens Killian's hand, expecting to find the bean. He opens it to find it empty.) Rumplestiltskin: “No. He tricked me!” (He pushes over the table knocking off the picture and the other items.) Enchanted Forest. Past. (On the Jolly Roger, Milah's body is being buried at sea. Killian Jones watches on.) Trader: (Muffled voice:) “Hey! Hey!” Killian Jones: “Allow him to speak.” Trader: “I want my bean.” Killian Jones: “Let me tell you how it works on my ship. I make the demands. You follow them. The bean's now mine.” Trader: “You have to give me something for it.” Killian Jones: “Oh, I will. Your life. The chance to join my crew.” Trader: “So instead of the promise of eternal life, I get to scrub blood off your decks. How is that right?” Killian Jones: “What if I was to tell you I was about to set sail to a land where none of us will ever grow old? Where I can discover how to get my revenge on Rumplestiltskin?” Trader: (Smiles:) “I'd say I could live with that.” Killian Jones: “Good. What's your name, sailor?” Trader: “William. William Smee. (He looks over at one of the shipmates that is wearing his red hat:) Can I have my hat?” Killian Jones: (He gestures for the shipmate to give William his hat. The shipmate throws it at him:) “Well, Mr. Smee, (Smee puts on his hat:) welcome aboard. (Jones shows him the bean and throws it in the sea:) Harden up and get ready to set sail, mates! There's bumpy seas ahead.” William Smee: “What's the name of the place we're headed, Cap'n?” Hook: (He picks up the hook, puts it on his hand and twists it. It clicks into place. He smiles:) “Neverland!” (He turns the ship's wheel as the wind howls and the ship sails into the sea portal.)

#sq #Swanqueen #swan queen

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deltaengineering · 8 years ago

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Fall Anime 2017 Part 4: Screenshots don’t lie

Saturday’s a very busy day this season, and all the sequels are hitting too. Time to get to work!

Previously:

• Part 1: Maximum Something

• Part 2: The snooze cruise

• Part 3: Fooled again

Burendo Esu (Cat Balls the Animation)

Blend S is the story of schoolgirl Maika that has “mean eyes” (basically, she has tsurime in a tareme world), which prevents her from getting a job other than the one in a moe gimmick-themed café, where her duty is to make “mean eyes” at the customers. The other waitresses play a tsundere, an imouto, an idol and an onee-san. So yeah, that’s one way to get your standard moe show cast together. But wait! The twist here is that Maika is not actually mean! Quite the opposite actually! And that goes for all the other waitresses too! While girls getting forced into moe archetypes is a pretty amusing/scary concept, this is of course a Kirara manga, so they’re just different moe archetypes underneath. In short, the concept doesn’t amount to much. As far as Kiraralikes go, this isn’t a bad one though. It’s colorful, cute and a little funny, and splits the difference between a pure moefest like Knohana Kitan and the more structured comedy of a Working (obviously). Only the pervy Italian manager and his obsession with his blob underlings gets old pretty fast. If you’re down for a show like this, this is probably the one to watch, because unlike Konohana Kitan I didn’t wish for it to end.

Code: Realize - Sousei no Himegimi

While we’re on the topic of “best of the breed”, Code: Realize is an upmarket otome harem. I know, right. The setting is a basic steampunk universe, the bishounens are Arsène Lupin, Victor Frankenstein &c, and our bland heroine’s super special trait turns out to be killing everything she touches due to some jewels in “her heart”. I mean, who hasn’t been there. So everyone wants to “steal her heart” and Code: Realize is very keen to point out the double meaning of this constantly. Hey, we kinda did it in Katawa Shoujo so I can’t really complain. The thing is that Code: Realize is very obvious, but it’s also not all that bad – the fact that is has more going on than nothing at all already makes it the best otome harem since Akatsuki no Yona: It looks fairly pleasant, none of the main characters are tremendous assholes, and there seems to be some sort of story to go with the pretty boys. But it’s also not as hammy and ostentatious as, for example, Dance with Devils, so it’s caught in a middle ground where I can appreciate it not sucking tremendously, but I also don’t feel like watching it – because it’s too respectable.

Dynamic Chord

Dynamic Chord is another otome VN, this time about rock bands. Since this is 2017, apparently the production committee thought they could cut out the middleman, leave out the bland girl and just make a boyband anime instead, because those are all the rage right now. So it’s Tsukipro, apart from the bit where Tsukipro looks like a Ghibli movie next to this. Dynamic Chord is a production catastrophe that looks closer to a no-budget gag short of the Pikotarou Lullaby type (note: I mean “catastrophe” in the absolute sense, for all I know this could all be calculated perfectly and the producers are laughing all the way to the bank). The show consists almost entirely of two things: Long, quiet zooms and pans over stills, and montages, mostly of “performances”. Those performance themselves are really something else too. What if I told you that this is a show in 2017 that does not seem to feature ANY 3DCG? Turns out 3DCG actually costs money too, so when the band plays, they do paperdoll tweens of 2D artwork. Oh, and outside the performances lack of CG means you get the worst animated car since the QUALITYVAN. There’s also just baffling stuff like walk loops that don’t loop. Given that these montages are all endlessly long, you might think there’s not much space for a story. And you’d be right. Basically nothing happens, the singer of a band gets a bad case of the broods so some guy from another band has to substitute for him. That’s it. Would have easily fit into 3 minutes, but I have to say that by the end of this show’s 24 minutes, I was straight up laughing my ass off when the next montage of bad stills started right after the last one ended. That’s something, right?

Garo - Vanishing Line

I’ve seen Garo before, but last time I didn’t know it was a tokusatsu meta-franchise, the anime versions of which really only share that there’s a gothick looking motherfucker fighting horrors called Horrors. So this has little to do with the last ones: different crew, different studio, different setting. Because this version of Garo is most definitely set IN AMERICA: The main character is a gothick looking motherfucker called "Sword” that charitably resembles Hellboy, and less charitably resembles a Leifeld original. He rides a big hawg around a Big Apple, eats big bloody steaks and looks at big boobies a lot because you know, setting. It’s charming in its idiocy, and this is MAPPA so you get a lot of fights with very nice animation too. I could watch this simply for the action, but I won’t because there’s a Murrica-sized caveat here: The fights take place at night, are edited very rapidly and most importantly their idea of an impact frame is to do an extreme camera shake effect with intense motion blur. And there is a lot of impact frames – believe me, that might have been the easiest screenshot to find for an article yet, and I highly suspect I could have found worse ones if this wouldn’t bring the point across already. I simply can’t tell what the fuck is going on because everything is an incomprehensible mess, no matter how nice the frames beneath the effects are. It’s pretty infuriating because this show is one mouse click away from being a good time, simply disable your After Effects layer with the shake on it. But I can’t do that for them, so Vanishing Line ends up being a bad time instead. And even if you are interested in some big, zany action in the ol’ Gotham, there’s a little something that makes Vanishing Line instantly obsolete:

Kekkai Sensen (Blood Blockade Battlefront) & Beyond

Yeah boiiiiiiii, Kekkai Sensen is back. I had forgotten how fun this show can be, and we’ll discuss the reasons shortly. A lot has happened since 2015, and I have a good reference point for it now: Kekkai Sensen is basically One-Punch Man without The Joke. It’s an universe full of all sorts of crazy nonsense and a bunch of cool dudes that try to keep thing under control, usually in an explosive manner. The one really important thing that Beyond changes is that it’s not directed by Rie Matsumoto. Shigehito Takayanagi is taking over, and while that guy is a noted jobber of little distinction (previous credits: TWGOK, Dagashi Kashi and uh... Toyko ESP...), he’s at least enough of a craftsman to imitate Matsumoto’s style very well. I only found out about this after the fact, and wouldn’t have noticed the difference otherwise. It is noticeable if you look for it though: this episode has all of the stylish action antics, but none of the more moody content that Matsumoto’s original character (do not steal) White brought to the show. I liked most of White’s scenes with Leo and they gave season 1 some welcome emotional grounding, but to be quite honest, it’s not what I watched Kekkai Sensen for. I can definitely accept losing it if this time the show isn’t consumed by White’s subplot and doesn’t culminate in an ending that not only is all about her, but also comes out a season after everyone stopped caring because auteurs can’t manage a production. With Kyousougiga and Kekkai Sensen S1, Matsumoto has shown a 100% track record of donking her endings, so I’m not complaining she got replaced with someone who just gets the job done. Especially if it’s still Bones relying on Yutapon for action cuts; when shit hits the fan, it looks straight up incredible and makes me question why I slummed it with My Hero Academia for three seasons when I can get the same amount of awesome fights in a single episode of this. And hey, White is still in the ending, so maybe we will get the less crazy end of it covered as well. Just keep the priorities straight this time around, please.

Houseki no Kuni (Land of the Lustrous)

Houseki no Kuni is a manga about gijinka gems of indeterminate gender that takes the amusing step of Mohs hardness directly translating into Shounen Powerlevel™. Apart from that, there’s not much content in this episode 1: We get to know the characters and a glimpse and how a society of a bunch of brittle gems in makeup works. What makes this interesting is that the setting is intriguingly vague and very pretty (think: Haibane Renmei), and the characters seem to be fairly strong and likeable. Not exciting, but I could see myself watching this just for the atmosphere. The big downside of it is that it’s a 3DCG show, and not one of those fancy mocapped ones either. The animation is, in a word, bad: robotic and clumsy, as usual. I’ll readily admit that in screencaps it looks great, especially the crystal shaders that would be difficult to pull off in 2D animation. Houseki no Kuni seems very okay, but it has a hard time on this crowded Saturday so I don’t think I’ll bother with it right now. If it delivers in the long run, I’ll readily admit it to my backlog though.

Love Live! Sunshine!! S2!!!

Sunshine’s back as well, and finds itself in an awkward spot right away. This first episode has a lot of things to get out of the way: Tying up the last season properly because the final episode of S1 fumbled that, reminding the audience of the characters, and setting up a new drama arc. In practice, that means it ends up feeling a lot more like the lost E1S13 than the S2E1 it is, because the other two aspects are pretty pointless: Reintroducing the characters just means they all shoot off their catchphrase in turn, and the brand new conflict is (hold on to your seats for this one) that the school is getting closed and there’s a new Love Live. With all these things going on and none of them being all that interesting, the episode feels very rushed and just accomplishes establishing that yes, it’s a Love Live show. I guess that is exactly what it was meant to do and I can say that at least they have it out of the way now. Well, the last time I said Sunshine had gotten something out of the way, it was the obsession with µ’s in episode 1, the getting out of the way of which ended up lasting 10 episodes. It’s gone now (thankfully), but maybe I shouldn’t assume too much here. So yeah, fairly weak first episode, but it’s not like I wasn’t going to watch this to the end and even at its most rushed and pointless it’s still Love Live: a polished Five Guys hamburger of a show that doesn’t exactly need to be great to be a joy to watch.

Two Car

I expected Two Car to be That Show: the one where a schoolgirl discovers her sudden love for Thing and goes on to experience Thing with the help of her friends. Two Car isn’t in the K-ON/Bakuon/etc mould however, it’s much more similar to the sports show style of Girls und Panzer, wacky sport with themed teams of contenders in a world where everyone seems to care about it a little too much. It helps that real sidecar racing is already weird as hell (looking forward to the breathless Anime Now article about how it’s a thing that actually exists) and is less motorcycle racing and more Twister on a fast-moving platform. Quite coincidentally, Two Car is also tremendously gay, as you’d expect from a show about two-girl teams in very tight leather crawling over each other competitively. The main girls aren’t even so blatant (and shown to have a crush on their male instructor, who has taken off to the aptly named Isle of Man), but the opponents are all some sort of standard yuri pairing. So yeah, the setting is a goofy blast, but I’m sad to report that episode 1 has tremendous structural problems. All the team introductions are very clumsy and intercut with an equally clumsy introduction of the setting, the sport and the main girl’s extensive backstory. I will give this more chances because the setup has a lot of potential, but I really hope this shapes up on the storytelling front or I won’t make it very far in.

#Love Live! Sunshine!!#Blend S #Code Realize #Dynamic Chord #Vanishing Line #garo #Kekkai Sensen #Houseki no Kuni #Two Car #blood blockade battlefront #anime #impressions #fall2017

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alukaforyou · 8 years ago

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sooo I'd love to talk to you (new follower, I dig your Naruto content) but I'm too shy so anon mode for now, but for the Naruto questions: ALL OF THEM!!? only if you don't mind....

IM SCREAMING LMAO OMGGG!!!! okok im gonna put it under the cut cuz its long!! ㅇㄷㅇ;;; BUT TY IM GONNA HAVE SM FUN DOING IT💕 btw i am a chill egg pls do not be afraid to chat~

1) favorite villagetbh idk a whole lot about the other villages so konoha💦 it also seems the most? temperate climate / topography wise….

2) favorite kageDAN WTF THIS IS HARD UM gaara, hashi, or darui lol eeny meeny miny moe cuz i cant decide

3) which villain would you most like to fightlike fakkin none of them wtf that sounds horrible / scary af???? 😂😂😂 ok but if im gonna die anyways then mads cuz at least i’d be looking @ his cute face as i go LMFAO RIPPERONI

4) favorite chunin exam fightgaara & rock lee, duh. naruto & neji a close second cuz i got so EMO!!

5) how would you have cheated during the chunin examsreal talk IM TOO SCURRED TO DO THAT KINDA SHIT IRL, NARUTO AU, OR OTHERWISE!!!! 😭😭😭 i’ll be like naruto and hopefully pass w.o answering a single question😂

6) byakugan, sharingan, or rinnegansharingan cuz it looks the prettiest imo (also idek really, what the rinnegan DOES, exactly lmfao)

7) which battle was your favoriteyikes i can’t even begin to remember all of them uh maybe shippuden sasuke vs itachi cuz i remember them looking rly good in those eps. orrrrr obito vs kakashi in the kamui dimension, that had some bomb animation! the final sasuke vs naruto was so good too ahh

8) favorite female ninja’s outfitshippuden sakura or part 1 temari when shes wearing the red sash and the navy skirt!

9) favorite male ninja’s outfituchiha robes r p hot sai maybe looool i lov the crop top😂

10) favorite ninja’s hairduck butt sasuke

11) how would you wear your headbandnot on my forehead lol probs like sakura because it’s the only alternative i’d think up

12) what would your ninjutsu be???????? no idea my dude this is y i dont make ocs lmfao

13) what ninjas would you want as your teammatesnardo & rock lee :^)

14) which opening is your favoriteso many it’s impossible to pick

15) which closing is your favoriteagain, there are too many good ones!!!😭😭😭

16) how long have you been into narutolike 10+ years its my first anime lol

17) do you mostly watch or read narutoboth?

18) favorite charactersakura chan :3c

19) least favorite characterdanzo is p high up there :^/

20) do you own any naruto merchno figs but the artbooks and some manga? charms, pins, headband, the usual stuff

21) in the akatsuki what color would you paint your nails burgundy or eggplant

22) who would you want your partner to be in the akatsuki itachi cuz hes the most chill but i would be SO intimidated cuz hes so hot rip

23) have you ever played any of the naruto video gamesno i dont play games

24) weapon of choicethat sword sasuke has in shippuden but baby pink perhaps?

25) favorite clanwho am i kidding the uchihas

26) favorite uchihasakura mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmads

27) what animal would you summoncats so i could cuddle them anywhere, anytime B^)

28) favorite filler episodei honestly cant remember i know there were some i liked but my memory is??? probs anything with the uchihas lol

29) favorite arcOOH THIS IS HARD chunin exams or sasuke recovery👀

30) otpsasusaku

31) brotpi dont think i have? this is like a no homo situation and lol.. everything is gay sweaty

32) favorite non-human characterPAKKUN❤ i wanna feel those paws!!

33) favorite bijuukurama cuz he uses washi and that makes him sound like an ojisan///

34) favorite jinchurikibesides like naruto, gaara, and killer b, who were all kinda main chara-ish, fu cuz shes so cute and cheerful!

35) what ninja occupation would you choosebackground ninja lmao or like.. academy teacher😂😂😂

OMG this took me forever to do but THANKS FOR THE ASK AYYY B^)

#asks #y do i lov ojisans

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junker-town · 6 years ago

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5 wildest things from the Blazers’ bonkers 4OT win over Nuggets

We have that and more in Saturday’s NBA newsletter.

Wow. For the first time since 1953, when basketball was played with dinosaur eggs and players wore huaraches woven from local ferns, an NBA playoff game went for four overtimes. The Blazers and Nuggets refused (or were unable) to beat each other until 68 minutes of game time had elapsed. Thank goodness it was a Friday! (The Blazers won, by the way.)

There was a lot to appreciate in this bonkers game. Here are the five most wild tidbits.

1. Nikola Jokic, the poor fellow, played 65 minutes.

An hour and five minutes. This included the entire second half and all but the final three seconds of the overtimes. In fact, he played every second of game time from the 9:52 mark of the second quarter until the 0:03 mark of the fourth overtime. That’s about 54 straight minutes of game time, which just halftime, timeouts, and the quarter and overtime breaks for rest. For one of the largest players in the league. This tweet says it all.

Jokic might be in shape by the end of this game.

— Denver Stiffs (@denverstiffs) May 4, 2019

Let’s not sell the other ironmen short, either: C.J. McCollum played an hour, Damian Lillard played for 58 minutes, Jamal Murray went 55, Moe Harkless went 45 minutes after being listed as questionable on Thursday with an ankle sprain, and Enes Kanter played 56 minutes despite a separated shoulder. Tough hombres.

2. Only one player -- Gary Harris -- fouled out.

One of the usual problems with extremely long games is that the NBA does not give extra fouls in overtime for players, so those who play big minutes tend to foul out. But only Harris, who often checked Damian Lillard (and did so effectively) fouled out in this game. (It probably cost the Nuggets the game in the long run as Lillard got to the hoop a couple times late.) The refs had some, ah, moments, but they did let the teams play.

3. The game inceptioned itself.

ESPN2 was scheduled to run a replay of Blazers-Nuggets at 2 a.m. ET. So it did start replaying the game ... even though the game was still going on over on ESPN!

ESPN2 doing a rerun of the game currently in play on ESPN

— Dripper Dale (@imBINGnotGOOGLE) May 4, 2019

The game ended at about 2:08 a.m. ET.

4. The previous game at Moda Center in Portland ... was the game Dame won the series on a 37-foot buzzer beater and waved goodbye to the Thunder!

These fans are blessed.

5. The game was won by Rodney freaking Hood.

Terry Stotts made a brilliant coaching decision by bringing in a relatively fresh Hood in the fourth overtime. Everyone else on the court looked like extras from The Walking Dead. Not Hood. He ended up scoring seven of the Blazers’ final nine points, including a dagger three.

RODNEY. HOOD. Blazers win it in QUADRUPLE OVERTIME (via @NBA) pic.twitter.com/8gu6H5ImZj

— SLAM (@SLAMonline) May 4, 2019

Mt. Hood, y’all.

Game 4 is Sunday. We’re waiting for word on whether the NBA will allow these players to use I.V. drips in-game.

Scores

Bucks 123, Celtics 116 Milwaukee leads series 2-1

Nuggets 137, Blazers 140 (4OT) Portland leads series 2-1

Schedule

Warriors at Rockets, 8:30 ET, ABC Golden States leads series 2-0

Links

Giannis Antetokounmpo had his best playoff performance ever by attacking relentlessly and leading the Bucks to a key victory. The Celtics got called for a bunch of fouls in the third quarter, upsetting their players and fans. Giannis was No. 2 in the NBA in free throw attempts this season. Seems like it’s not really outside the bounds of normalcy to see him at the line a lot?

The Suns hired Monty Williams. The Bulls extended Jim Boylen. It looks like the Lakers will go with Ty Lue.

Very cool John Havlicek tribute video from the Celtics.

Jackie MacMullan alert. Jackie MacMullan alert.

Joel Embiid has become pretty much unstoppable in the pick and roll against Toronto (THERE IS NO ANSWER FOR EMBIID), and Tobias Harris is turning into the glue guy Philadelphia wanted. This Game 4 on Sunday is monumental for both teams.

Looking closer at how Stephen Curry defends James Harden.

The internet’s Zito Madu on beauty and the internet’s problem with Harden.

Everyone has a story to tell about Mike Brown.

Scott Cacciola infiltrates the Rockets’ bench.

The Basketball Champions League final is here! Mario Chalmers is involved!

Giannis is now the pride of a Greece that shunned him.

And finally: a beautiful piece from Kevin O’Connor on basketball and his father.

Be excellent to each other.

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successtutors · 5 years ago

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besttutorsingapore · 6 years ago

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jodyedgarus · 7 years ago

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Why Kevin Durant’s Shoes Keep Falling Off

IT’S DEC. 6 in Charlotte, North Carolina, and a sold-out crowd files into the Spectrum Center. The world champion Golden State Warriors are in town for their lone trip to the Tar Heel State this season. And though Queen City native Stephen Curry isn’t in uniform, due to a right ankle injury he sustained just two days prior, Kevin Durant is doing his best to make up for whatever gap in enthusiasm might exist. Durant is drilling one rainbow jumper after the next while piecing together what will ultimately become a 35-point, 11-rebound, 10-assist triple-double on the way to a wire-to-wire 101-87 road win.

But for how easy Durant makes it all look, on this night, he manages to dominate while overcoming the greatest on-court obstacle he’s ever known.

Kevin Durant loses his shoes more than any player in NBA history.

Indeed, if one could identify an Achilles’ heel in Durant’s game, it might be the feckless nature of the shoes that swaddle his Achilles’ heel. Just after halftime, with Golden State up 55-43, Durant backpedals in transition following a Warriors’ turnover, then successfully contests a Michael Kidd-Gilchrist layup. And then, as he grabs the rebound and begins a fast break going the other way, Kidd-Gilchrist steps on the back of his foot, causing Durant’s black-and-white, yellow-swooshed KD10 to briefly soar into the air.

And nine minutes later, it happens again — this time as Durant launches a baseline fadeaway over Nicolas Batum, who also comes down on the back of Durant’s right shoe. After the whistle, Durant bends his 7-foot-tall, Gumby-like frame, reaches down, and slides the shoe back on his foot without as much as re-tying it.

It’s almost as if it’s something that happens so much, it hardly merits notice. Which is exactly the case.

THE 2017-18 CAMPAIGN had just begun, but Kevin Durant was already in midseason, shoe-shedding form.

Immediately after halftime on Oct. 20 in New Orleans, with Golden State down by 13 points, Durant finished a tough layup off the wrong foot after Tony Allen stepped on the back of his left heel, losing the sneaker in the process. Durant hustled to grab the shoe as the Pelicans pushed the ball back down the floor, but then — after realizing he wouldn’t have enough time during the play to put it back on his foot — opted to fling it toward the sideline. The choice to free up his right hand ended up being a wise one: After a New Orleans misfire and offensive rebound, Durant swatted not one, but two of Allen’s shots at the rim with just a single sneaker.

Three nights later in Dallas, as Durant was going up for a defensive rebound in the second period, he lost his left shoe and could only watch as future Hall of Famer Dirk Nowitzki put back a Mavericks’ miss. Fast forward six days, back home at Oracle Arena against the Pistons, and Durant lost the left shoe again during an awkward first-quarter fall while trying to swat an Andre Drummond layup. He managed to shed a sneaker on consecutive nights in March, too, jumping out of his right shoe while jostling with San Antonio’s LaMarcus Aldridge for a rebound, then losing a shoe on that same foot the next game after getting stepped on by teammate JaVale McGee while guarding Moe Harkless in Portland.

It’s happened in blowouts, like the 21- and 24-point laughers against the Mavs and Nuggets on back-to-back nights last season. And just as often, it’s happened in some of the biggest, most scrutinized games of Durant’s pro career.

His shoes ran away from his feet twice during that epic 2016 Thunder-Warriors Western Conference finals, in which Oklahoma City lost a 3-1 lead and set the stage for Durant to join Golden State in free agency two months later. He blew a tire two times during the Olympic Games in Rio that summer, including once in the middle of the gold-medal game against Serbia. Durant’s right shoe came off during his wildly hyped, highly contentious first game back in OKC. The right kick also went flying last June during Game 5 of the NBA Finals — the same night he would go on to win his first NBA championship and be crowned Finals MVP.

And then, in Game 5 of the just-completed Western Conference Finals, it happened not once … but twice: The first time, Durant’s right shoe came loose with a minute left in the first quarter as he finished a layup. The second came just 30 minutes of game-time later, when the same right shoe came all the way unglued after biting on an Eric Gordon head-fake at the 3-point line — a foul that gave Houston three free throws — and an 84-80 lead — with just under seven minutes left in the game.

https://fivethirtyeight.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/kdshoe_2017-18_final.mp4

All told, an extensive video analysis of Durant’s games from the past three regular seasons and postseasons reveals that the four-time scoring champ has come out of his shoe at least 31 times since the beginning of the 2015-16 campaign. That number, compiled against 20 different NBA teams, equates to losing a sneaker roughly every eight games or so — a mind-bogglingly high figure considering that Durant has had his own signature Nike shoe, designed to fit the unique contours of his feet, dating back to 2008.

“His shoe comes off more than anyone I’ve ever seen,” says teammate Draymond Green.

The question, of course, is why.

THE THEORIES FLY as fast and as far as the footwear that flings from the forward’s feet.

Perhaps it’s the shoes? With all due respect to Spike Lee, it’s gotta be the shoes, right?

It is, for sure, worth considering the changes that have been made to Durant’s signature sneaker in recent years. Leo Chang, the designer behind Durant’s shoes for more than a decade, told ESPN sneaker expert Nick DePaula that he loosened the bootie — the part of the shoe you slide your foot in through — to make them easier to put on and take off. The push to make the shoe more accessible with a tongueless design happened with the release of the KD9, which came out in 2016 — timing that meshes with when Durant began conspicuously losing his shoe at a noticeable clip. (A Nike spokesman declined comment for this piece.)

Or maybe it’s the feet?

Indeed, Kevin Durant somewhat famously possesses some of the longest, narrowest feet that anyone who’s witnessed them has ever seen — ones that, when paired with his chicken legs, look a lot like the blades at the ends of hockey sticks.

“My feet are so weird, man. I’ve got flat feet. I’ve got all sorts of calluses and corns on my feet,” says Durant, who wears orthotics and two pairs of socks during games in hopes of reducing friction.

But longtime Warriors equipment manager Eric Housen, who, despite being in his mid-40s, has worked 29 years with the team, has an altogether different theory.

Having seen everything that Durant is asked to do for Golden State — be a primary scorer who can attack at all three levels, a switchy perimeter defender capable of handling the opposing club’s No. 1 option and occasionally even a rim protector who cleans up back-end mistakes — Housen feels the superstar’s versatility is a factor in the shoes coming off so frequently. No player, aside from perhaps Milwaukee’s Giannis Antetokounmpo, is called upon to do as much.

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“He constantly has to change direction because of the different roles he plays,” says Housen, who’s taken a rather keen interest in this subject, which sometimes makes extra work for him. Housen recalls racing through the arena in New Orleans during the play where Durant tossed his sneaker toward the Pelicans’ sideline because Housen wanted to ensure no one disadvantaged the Warriors forward by playing Keep Away with his shoe as action on the court continued.

Like countless other young basketballers, Durant developed a fascination with sneakers at a young age. But getting new pairs of shoes on a regular basis wasn’t realistic at times for the superstar forward, who’s spoken openly about his humble beginnings in Seat Pleasant, Maryland.

“We couldn’t afford the Pennys, the Pippens, the Jordans,” Durant told The Oklahoman in 2011. “I had one pair of Team Jordans and I wore them everywhere. I hooped in them, played football in them. I had some Shaqs from K-Mart and a pair of Tim Duncans. But I couldn’t get a bunch of different ones like I wanted.” He was an Eastbay magazine die-hard, but the only size-11s his mother could get him from the catalogue were Lisa Leslie’s and Sheryl Swoopes’s Nike models.

It’s perhaps not unrelated, Housen notes, that for a star player — one who’s literally provided an endless supply of sneakers by Nike, and could wear new kicks every game if he truly wanted to — Durant very rarely moves on to a different pair compared to other NBA players.

Thunder star Paul George said he prefers the feeling of a new shoe when he steps out on the court. “Fresh out of the box,” he says. Ex-Warriors guard Larry Hughes was the same way during his time in Golden State. Dwyane Wade used to go through as many as three pairs in the same game, citing how sweaty his feet would get in certain sneakers. Durant is the opposite.

“Kevin really hates wearing a pair that’s brand new. He likes them boys worn, and then he’ll stick with them consistently, for a long time,” Housen says, adding that he even prefers to use the same pair for both practice and games. “He doesn’t care if they match the uniform that night. He’s just, ‘Those are my shoes — the shoes I practice in, the shoes I play in.’ So I just bring them back and forth for him, and he lets me know when he’s ready to start over with a new pair.” (One indication of all this: Durant’s brand-new sneaker, the KD 11, is available for him to wear now. And Nike’s initial plan was for him to market the shoe to the basketball world by playing in them during the high-profile Western Conference Finals against Houston. But true to form, Durant has yet to wear the shoe, which is slated to be released to the public in June.)

For as long as he uses the same pair of shoes now, Durant actually used to wear them for even longer stretches during his first few years in the league. Chang, the Nike designer, has said that Durant used to only switch out his shoes three or four times per season, the equivalent of once every 23 games. So perhaps, instead, Durant is not giving himself enough time to break in the sneakers — a premise that seems more plausible given that almost 40 percent of his shoe-shed incidents have taken place during the first month of a season, when he’s still getting used to wearing them.

Durant’s explanation for this is simple. “If I feel something is right, I just like to stay in it,” he said. Asked how long he’ll stay in the same pair, Durant thought for a second. “Usually about three weeks — maybe every eight games?”

Here’s a fun fact: That’s the exact frequency with which he sheds a shoe out on the court.

There is one other possible explanation, though.

NEARLY EVERY VETERAN teammate of Durant’s who’s played with him at least a few months — after initially wondering why the hell he loses a shoe so often — has busted his chops over the habit. (Well, nearly every teammate, save for Steph Curry. “I give him shit all the time about stuff, but no, I don’t go there — it’s … a sensitive subject,” Curry says, an apparent reference to the rival sneaker brands that the players promote.)

And while there’s evidence that he lost a shoe during a game as early as 2010, most all observers of this streak of sole-baring agree that it wasn’t always this bad. Those who played with Durant prior to him becoming NBA royalty express genuine bewilderment over how he suddenly began losing his sneakers so often these past few years.

“It never happened at all when we were in school,” says Orlando Magic guard D.J. Augustin, who starred at the University of Texas with Durant before becoming a lottery pick in 2008. “The funny thing is, I never realized exactly how much it happened until I played with him in Oklahoma City his last year there. And there it felt like it just kept happening every few games.”

Nick Collison, Durant’s teammate for nine seasons in Seattle and Oklahoma City, says he and others stayed on him about it constantly. “The funny thing is, I know it’s not the shoes, because I wore the KDs for years, laced them up tight, and literally never had a problem with them,” says Collison, who recently announced his retirement. “But we were constantly telling him to tie his shoes. All the time.”

And still: Durant continues to opt against re-tying his shoe whenever one falls off. Instead, he simply stuffs his foot back in and continues playing as if nothing happened.

Every now and then, if a student of the subject studies hard enough, they might see a look of frustration cross Shoeless Kevin’s face. Review the video from that last season he spent with the Thunder, and they’ll find an instance of him losing both shoes — on his left foot, and then his right — within the same minute or so of action during a November game in Houston. Upon collecting the second shoe, he stands straight up and briefly stares into space before grabbing the right sneaker as if it’s somehow betrayed him.

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On a chilly April morning in Indianapolis, after months of studying the phenomenon, I finally got around to asking Durant about all this. Upon hearing the question — basically, how can anyone’s shoes fall off as often as yours do? — he laughed before unfolding an enormous ear-to-ear grin. Then came the moment of sole-searching truth; the reason he finds himself picking up left-behind sneakers more frequently than a Payless Shoes store associate.

“Anything too tight on my body as I play, I feel like it restricts me a little bit. I don’t wear the arm sleeves, the undershirts, the finger tape, the wristbands, or none of that stuff,” he said. “I’m already skinny as it is, and I don’t need anything else weighing me down. I want to be aerodynamic out there, and I guess that’s how I think of my shoes as well.”

And so it is, that to achieve that featherweight feeling, Durant wears a size-18 while on the court — one full size bigger than what he wears when in casual settings.

“These are like slippers, man, and I just try to be as efficient as I can when I create what I want out there. I don’t want something that’s too bulky. So, sometimes they may come off, but the good thing is, I can slip them back on and keep playing.”

All of which seems like a slightly crazy notion — and one that would benefit the opposition — until you realize the extent to which it’s the opposite.

On a per-100 possession basis, Kevin Durant has averaged 114 points when occupying the court without a shoe1 — more than triple the 36 points per 100 possessions he posted this past season. Looping in his other stats, he logged five dimes and five turnovers per 100 possessions sans a shoe, while shooting 9-for-12, or 75 percent.

So perhaps there’s really little mystery at all to why Durant sees little need for both his sneakers. If you could morph into the next coming of Wilt Chamberlain, you might not find it vital to tighten your shoes up, either.

from News About Sports https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/why-kevin-durants-shoes-keep-falling-off/

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