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twhem · 2 years ago

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“i said your favorite word: the backrooms!”

in which case y/n (first person) gets stuck in the backrooms with mark, who happens to absolutely hate the backrooms.

g/n reader, pretty much platonic relationship. i also added a few things that weren’t in the game, but just things i thought of

(this has been eating me up all week but basically mark played the complex and it was all “haha he’s lost and he hates the backrooms” but my brain was like “omg the stairs and the couch and the color of that wall spark something in me” and now i want to write about mark and i exploring the backrooms)

_______________

“…and if the substrituent has three carbons, it’s called a propyl group!”

mark walked in front of me, his walk being turned more so into a trudge the more we roamed.

mark sighed, looking around the room we entered. it looked identical to the one before, and i could tell he was getting frustrated.

“that’s great, y/n. really, that’s—“

rain could suddenly be heard hitting the roof above us.

rain?

we both looked at each other wordlessly, listening to the pounding rain and booming thunder. how is there a storm here? there’s a roof? does that mean there’s a way out?

“‘s kinda nice.” he mumbled. “…you know?”

i nodded. “no i…” i paused, looking at him. “…i was gonna say the same thing.

out of all the people to be stuck here with, i couldn’t have chosen a better person.

_______________

“i gotta say,” mark spoke suddenly, grunting slightly as he struggled with the door in front of him. “i don’t like the way we spawned here without shoes.”

i glanced down at my socked feet. “i do. it’s comfy… with the carpet and all…”

he finally got the door open, sighing heavily. “the doorknobs turn down.”

i nod and say a silent “ahh..��, following him up a short flight of stairs. we enter a small hallway with a little room made into the wall, decorated with a couch and a table. the table held a vase with a fake white rose.

i see the rose in the vase and laugh. “kinda reminds me of—“

“—Ib.” mark chuckles. my face reddens, hopefully not too noticeably.

he passed the couch and the vase, continuing to walk. i stop.

upon noticing this, he turns and looks at me. “you want to stop here?”

“why not?” i shrug. “it’s comfy.” i crane my head toward the ceiling. “and it’s still raining.”

“i have a feeling it’s gonna rain for the entire duration of our time here.” he says, sitting on the couch next to me with a sigh.

we sat in silence, listening to the rain above us for a while, before i found the courage to speak.

“so… what were you doing…” i began. he turned to look at me. “…when you, uhm, ‘no clipped’ here.”

“ah.” he nodded, looking at the wall in front of us. “i had… just put Chica out.” he paused. “before i put her out, i yelled at her for chewing up something she wasn’t supposed to.”

another pause, then he chuckled lightly.

“you can imagine how bad i felt when i got here.”

i nodded, not knowing whether or not to feel bad or not. my story wasn’t as sad.

“i’m… i’m sure Amy is taking care of her.” i said with a small smile.

he shrugged, frowning. “…Chica wasn’t the only one i left on bad terms with.”

i nodded slowly as my lips formed an “oh”, not knowing what to say.

another silence.

“i’m sorry, mark.”

“what about you?”

i looked at him. “w-what?”

he chuckled. “the same question you asked me. what were you doing before you got here?”

i laughed. “oh! it’s kind of a funny story. i worked for my schools nursing building, in the simulation department.”

“simulation… like—“

“medical mannequins.”

he cringed. “ugh.”

i laughed. “oh, man. i forgot you hate mannequins! if regular mall mannequins creep you out, you should have seen this things… they talk, scream, moan, blink—“

“stop.” he chuckled, putting his hand up. i laughed even harder.

“anyways, that was simulation lab, where i primarily worked. we started a new thing with VR headsets where the students would do virtual clinical sessions. one day, nobody was in there, so i put one of the headsets on, and now i’m here.”

“oh, God. it’s… it’s like that Digital Circus thing.”

“exactly!” i said. “that’s what i thought… when i had… finally stopped panicking and crying.”

____

after a while of conversation, mark eventually fell asleep. i couldn’t blame him; i was pretty sure he’d been here long before i arrived.

i had a dream that i couldn’t remember when i woke up. upon waking, i found mark, still asleep, in the same position i had fell asleep to— head laid back, arm slung around the back of the couch, and his legs entangled in mine.

… he was much handsomer when he wasn’t just a box in the corner of a screen.

i looked at his arm, which had a rubber bracelet on it with a picture and text i couldn’t see nor read.

i decided to let him sleep a while longer.

_______________

(how tf do i watch mark at least once a week but i find it so hard to write his character)

#markiplier #the backrooms #mark fischbach #platonic #fanfic #fanfiction #the complex #the complex: expedition #markiplier fandom #markiplier fanfiction #markiplier x reader

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tireddovahkiin · 3 months ago

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I want to take a moment and talk about my Boisvertsona, that has a somewhat very special meaning to me that I never talked about. But that's important. (Warning, it's gonna be a LONG post.)

This is Youth. You've probably seen her with Room, most of the time. For those unfamiliar with her, this is a self insert I made, inspired by a youtube series of surrealism/phychological themed videos named _Boisvert. Youth is the character I use to self ship with Room, the main antagonist of the series. But, this self ship has a much deeper meaning to me.

Youth symbolizes what her very name means: mental youth. That feeling of childlike innocence, dependence, gullibleness, curiosity. Regression. Physical and mental fragillity. But, an actual manifestation of trauma coping.

Her whole design has a lot of interesting details with meaning behind them:

See full design here!

As you can see, Youth has one eye, that is always closed. That is because she 'dreams' (indicating to coping mechanisms like maladaptive daydreaming and escapism). Youth always has her eyes closed, because she distracts herself from the harsh reality that surrounds her. There is also visible dark circle under it. She's tired. If she was to open it, she would become 'unstable', she wouldn't handle it all. But don't worry, she can still see even with that eye closed (DON'T QUESTION THE FUCKING LOGIC OKAY SHUSH)

The tape over the place where Youths mouth should be indicates at her shyness, and need to keep silent. Bottled up emotions. (Another way of unhealthy coping) She is mute, after all, she only speaks through noises like squeaks, whines, hums, coos, no actual words. The noises of a child. It may silences her, but for a reason: it keeps her together, from "tearing apart" (I'll explain the reason later)

There is a vertical line across her face, and goes all the way down her body, and between her legs, continuing behind and back at her head. It is supported by these 'stiches', the only thing keeping her together from falling apart (indicating to her fragillity, that she's barely hanging by the thread of self-destruction.)

Those strange, long creepy hands behind her are a physical manifestation of her mind. They appear from time to time, when Youth feels somehow on edge, or nervous, they act like shielding limbs, though always like having minds on their own. When the hands are out, Youth uses them as regular hands instead of her sleeved ones. Since she's mute, usually, her body language should be visible in either the way she acts with her hands, or her posture. But here's the thing that gets interesting: see that blackness behind her head? That is not a shadow. That is actually a little detail of the percent of her 'sanity'. The blackness would spread along the lenght of the whole arms, if her sanity would start to drop, and her hands would start acting a little uncontrolable. If the arms get 100% black, that is a sign that Youth is about to lose it. Her arms go haywire, and start to try and tear off her stitched skin, reveal what's hiding inside it. To let it free. To claw its way out, even if it takes force.

Youths thin, small, frail body, and her hunched posture symbolises her 'weakness'. Self-neglect. Dependence. She is too weak, too distracted to take care of herself. And we all know The Complex is a very dangerous place, there are always threats at every corner of that place. Youth is submissive in nature, she is not built for fighting, of course. She is peaceful. No, actually, she is harmless. A fragile, emotionally vulnerable being, like an exposed nerve. She is small, because it indicates that she is a person who doesn't want to be noticed, She wants to blend in in whatever situation she finds herself in. To stay in the background. But, even if her heart sometimes wishes to be seen, heard, and noticed, she cannot be. It always gets ignored.

Her long sleeves that cover her hands (that she never reveals, she uses them over the sleeves like Ariana Grande style💀), as well as the long leg sleeves, indicates to her subtle clumsiness. Making it difficult for her to move around properly, like they're restraining her a bit. But also a need to hide, go her way. She WANTS it that way. She is not comfortable with actually rolling them up and letting it all be 100% easier for her. She chooses the more difficult choice for the sake of her own comfort. (And maybe only maybe because she has this need to be taken care of by a certain triangle headed man hm hm)

And now, onto the actual thing: the dynamic and deep meaning behind Youths and Rooms relationship.

They met under weird circumstances. Exploring The Complex and hiding from unwanted company, Room came upon an odd room/dimension; it was a very, VERY high room with no ceiling in sight, fading into grey fog above his head. It was also just as wide, spreading endlessly to both left and right, but the depth of the room was short, only about twenty meters. Room is facing a very tall and wide wall ahead of him, made of reflective material, but that has gaitn cracks on it, so big, as the size of lightning bolts. And behind it, on the other side? There was Youth. A completely white void, with nothing ahead, just complete bright abyss. With her laying on the floor, drawing with a black charcoal stick and filling it with many of her drawings. Already making a rather big patch of small and big doodles. Her legs playfully kicking up and down, as Youth was supported by her elbows, focus completely on doodling.

Room would observe her. His first thought was, how utterly small she was. And alone. As if stuck behind that thick wall with no way out. With no care for the outside world, whatsoever. How he could easily kill her, if he could reach her.

Youth didn't notice him.

For the first time, the man felt... Curious. He simply stayed, and watched her do her own thing. So innocent. So... Pure. Looking like she had... Fun. A rarity in such harsh place as The Complex. It was almost sacred. Foreign. And that is why Room had to look more.

When his needs were satisfied, Room left. Without Youth even noticing a thing.

Room would appear again. And again. And again. He found himself returning to that odd place, and looking at that careless, child-like girl draw, and play around. As days passed, he started feeling this... Urge of protectiveness towards whoever she was. He was drawn to her. Room never saw something so pure before, he NEEDED to keep it that way. To keep Youth untainted by darkness, that already has swallowed him entirely. To shield her from it all. (Which would later lead to unhealthy overprotectiveness.)

And yet, Room still did not reveal himself. And Youth still did not notice him.

It would go like that for a good while, until one day, Youth noticed him. But, instead of being scared, nervous of this mysterious intruder, to see him as a potential threat... She somehow didn't. She forgot the feeling of fear. Her emotions fell humb, and she listened to the pull of her curiosity. Youth came face to face with Room, only divided by that shattered mirror wall. No one spoke. Words weren't needed. The understanding was somehow spiritual. They felt connected.

Now, why is that?

Are you aware of how self-shippers can depict their fictional others as a big part of themself, see them as a real partner, a soulmate? An important part that defines them and their life? A connection much deeper than normal?

Well, that is how I see Room, in a way.

I see Room as an important figure in my life. He is like my spiritual guardian: since he is depicted as a manifestation of negativity, I see him as a way to define my OWN struggles. Like an extention of my emotions, my mind. He feels like... He's THERE. When I feel sad, depressed, that means Room is there with me. And that he sees me. That he hears me. That he's close. And that he won't leave, not until I feel better. While in _Boisvert, Room is seen as an evil, violent yet passive man, full of this despair and need to spread it around, I see him more like this. Just a broken man, who is lost. And is hoping to find some rest. To find someone. Or something. An answer. To why this is all happening. Who lost hope, a long, long time ago.

Room protects me when I'm sad. It's like I can feel him standing behind me, just being there. Not talking. Just there. And that is honestly ALL I need. I'm not alone. Yes, it feels cold, I feel terrible, miserable, I want to scream and cry and tear my skin off. But it feels like some strange comfort. Thinking of him. That he's there, not helping me, but just watching OVER me. He's there to offer presence, as I figure a way to calm down by myself. And that is okay. That is truly what I need.

___

And when Room touches the glass wall of that room Youth was stuck in... That she formed as a way to TRY and hide and protect herself from The Complex... It shatters.

Room grabs her immediately, and shields her away from the shards so they won't cut her thin body. Just like that. And he can feel her panic. Youth was scared, she was shaking, all of it happened so fast. So he squeezed tighter, while the entire wall that was KILOMETERS high and wide kept breaking and falling apart. Room didn't let go until the danger was over.

But when he tried pulling away... Youth didn't let go. She kept holding onto him.

So they stayed there, surrounded by gigantic broken glass shards, embracing each other in complete silence.

And so, the two stayed like that until Youth has calmed down.

And that is the start of their relationship together.

With Room always moving, Youth would always be moving with him too. Following like a blind puppy by its owners side. Not knowing what else to follow, really. Room was the only choice she had, she didn't know anything beyond that place she was trapped in. And the being would always remain by his side, at all times. Never dissapearing even for a second, showing just how dependent she was in the world around her.

But it didn't bother Room. He now had something, a purpose. o protect, hide, keep at his side. She was odd, but in a such positive way. Youth kept showing him things he never saw, experienced. Affection, honesty, care, attention.

She showed him the bare minimum, but because Room was so unfamiliar with it, and OH, so utterly starved for love and care, he became even more protective. Possessive. Obsessive. No one would dare to lay a finger on Youth, because she was the only source of light he had in the darkness. If twas some sort of twisted devotion. Room is cold, distant, it's just the way he is. But if he was to see Youth even a little off than her normal, curious, playful, childlish self, Room is dropping everything. His fear gets ahead of him. He needs to know the reason of her sadness, why is she feeling unwell, out of fear that she doesn't end up... Like HIM. She cannot end up like him, he needs her healthy. Both because she keeps ROOM sane, and for her own well-being.

He does care, in his own way. Room does learn to open up slowly, under Youths (unknown) guidance (she doesn't know what's she's doing but she acts on impulse. Like a child would. If she feels a need, Youth will act upon it.)

As you can see, their relationship isn't perfect. It's FAR from it, it has many flaws, and it's unhealthy in both sides. But that is what makes it so special! They're so co-dependent from each other, for their personal fears and traumas. It even has the element of this weird, worshipping-like ideal. But they learn. And that is why it IS perfect.

So yeah, that is all. I am done with ranting. If you REALLY just read this whole thing, from start to finish, I am speechless, I cannot thank you enough, it means a shit ton. Seeing someone actually cares and respects that much can never fail in making my heart swell🥺

So with that, thank you for reading. <3

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