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system-of-a-feather · 4 years ago

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Can I ask: How many alters do you have? Do people with systems get new alters or does the number stay the same? How many alters do most systems have? What is it like interacting with your alters? Is it like you’re all individuals sharing the same space/brain/body? (Sorry if this is too much, I’ve just been trying to learn more about DID and systems recently. I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.)

Other than getting whiplash at the list of questions, I don't mind at all XD They're actually pretty basic questions and fair ones that are easier to answer than a lot of other ones I get sometimes and are questions grounded in my experience rather than like... trying to generalize

With that being said, keep in mind this is **my** experience and is not representative of everyone who has DID and likely not even "most people" with DID since a lot of people experience it differently and a lot of systems are shaped differently based on what was needed to survive.

With that out of the way, I'll be breaking these down question by question.

1) How many alters do you have?

Bleh, I honestly don't know at this point XD Let me check our discord for the most up to date "roll call" annnd 18-19 "logged" alters. Which actually for a minute had me double take cause last I counted it was like.... 13+? Our gatekeeper and primary protector keep track of the logged parts to their best knowledge on a private system-only discord server.

Really though, thats kinda probably a lower estimate cause honest to god not sure how many Rikus there are and there is another subsystem (alters who have alters; its a whole confusing thing on its own that isn't super common in systems, so if you are just learning, don't sweat too much about them, I have one and it hurts my head) and I don't know how many of them there are. Plus who knows if any other parts are dormant from our early childhood.

At this point we don't really bother too much with counting parts really. It's too much of a headache for us and figuring out what is up with the subsystems is another headache.

Though of parts that front / are near the front regularly, I would say we have like... 7-10 parts that cycle around depending on how you count. On this blog we have the regular adult fronters that want to involve themselves talk, and that's me (Riku), Ray, Aderis, Lucille, Jii, and the rare Iris.

2) Do people with systems get new alters or does the number stay the same?

Systems do tend to get new alters. I wouldn't say "all" systems get new alters, but splitting a new part really is not that uncommon - especially if stressful / unsafe environments continue into adolescence and adulthood. People with DID / OSDD at a young age develop the "coping mechanism" of extremely disconnecting from adverse experiences and conflicting parts of themselves and blocking it off and doing that a bit chronically can cause "alters" to be a thing. Because that mechanism is developed strongly at a young age as the "go to" for survival, it is very much possible for someone to go through another stressful / traumatic situation and find themselves "unable to cope" with their current abilities and will resort to their childhood coping mechanism of just blocking it off, disconnecting, and "splitting" a new alter. Thus the number can keep growing into adulthood.

3) How many alters do most systems have?

It really isn't a clear statistic due to how hard it can be to research DID as a whole and with how - relatively speaking - little research has been done on it. I've heard it to be about 12-22 ish in general I think, and this article says 16 for adults, 24 for adolescents [x]. NAMI - which is less formal of a source and so take it was a grain of salt - says 10 is the average [x]. It's hard to really say but that's all I can say on the matter.

4) What is it like interacting with your alters?

Honestly it's kind of like having a long distance friend you met online, but like... is somehow able to see what is going on in your life and also interact with it. That is PROBABLY because a lot of my interactions with my alters are through our System Journal on Discord but is really honestly kinda normalized for me?

Beyond how a lot of our communication is through discord, I think its just kinda like.... I dunno, interacting with a sibling but with more fog and loops to jump through to actually hear it right?

Honestly I don't really know how to answer it because I don't really know how to best compare it anymore really.

5) Is it like you’re all individuals sharing the same space/brain/body?

How I answer this really changes depending on the day really XD As a whole we really like to function with the principles of "parts of a whole" and that guides a lot of our decisions, but I think - because we have a disorder - we really act and treat eachother like individuals.

Though I don't really necessarily say it feels like we are all individuals sharing a body / brain as we aren't that detached from each other. It's a lot more like... were a family sharing a life?

I think the best way to actually describe how we experience it is rather than "parts of a whole" which is the TRUTH, we struggle to recognize we are all a single person, and more so intuitively understand it more as "parts of a team" or "parts of a machine" - a mandatory team / machine that has individuals parts that are not complete or stable without the others, but also TOTALLY not the same person (joke). But that is just because it hurts our head to recognize that we are parts of a whole person cause none of us can conceptualize what that whole person is.

It's hard to explain XD Cause its a hard concept to fully understand. I understand it on a logical / cognitive manner, but like actually fully having it click takes a lot of gymnastics - cause I have a disorder XD

Also "cause I have a disorder" is just a joke I do a lot when I'm like "Oh this is a textbook symptom huh."

-Riku (Host)

#alter: riku #ask #asks #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder

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defiancerpg-blog · 7 years ago

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Congratulations KATIE, you have been accepted as VIRGO, THE MAIDEN with the faceclaim of HAILEE STEINFELD and the PHOTOKINESIS ability!

Notes from the Admins:

Your app is very well done and really shines a light on who Virgo is. I (Ellie) loved how you brought them to life and really showed how despite everything they’re a light in this world that can’t be snuffed out. And like with most of the apps, it was their answer to the final question that really sold me on your vision of Virgo, proving it meshed with ours. I loved loved loved that they refuse to accept the possibility of war. You showed us just how young and pure they are and how they’re the true light and soul of this little misfit group of fugitives. I (Tasha) agree with Ellie, I love the answer to the last question. But what really sold me was the answer to the first question. I can’t explain why but I absolutely loved it and I knew from there I would love the rest of the application.

We also would like to formally accept your request for a name alteration to Ember

You have 48 hours to send in your blog. If you haven’t already joined the group discord then you may do so now (if that’s your wish) [x]. Once you have turned in your blog, you will be given a role that will allow you access to the private channels regarding plots/characters. Please remember to do everything on the checklist, and also we just want to thank you for joining this roleplay. We hope your time with us will be a fun and memorable one!

OC INFORMATION

Alias & Pronouns: Katie, she/her

Age: 23

Timezone, Activity Level, & RP Experience: CST. 7/10. I have some previous rp experience in hunger games rps and in Hollow Grove rp.

Triggers: None

Referral: Skeleton rpg

Application Password: Slim Shady

BASIC IC INFORMATION

Skeleton: Virgo

Faceclaim: Hailee Steinfeld, Arden Cho, Camila Mendes

Age: 18

Orientation: undecided

Origin: Florida

Nova Type: Animus

Ability:

1. Photokinesis- the ability to manipulate light. The full extent of their ability is a mystery to them, as are the limitations. Ember knows they can’t create light, only play with existing light. This can be anything from refracting a beam of sunlight into a rainbow, or concentrating it’s intensity until it is hot and sharp as a laser. This ability is dependant upon their concentration, they are also aware that strength and well-being is gained through being constantly surrounded by light.

2. Earthquake generation- (note this would require a change in the audition. Please let me know and I will revise it if you prefer this ability.)

The Interview:

Instead of a traditional biography, this roleplay has an “interview” to understand the character’s past but also who they are as a person. The goal here is for you to answer the questions from the character’s point of view (third person) as if they were being asked by The Imperium’s artificial intelligence, E.R.I.S.. Think of it as a background check meant to explore who the character is more in-depth than a bio. They do not have to vocally answer the question nor do they have to tell the truth. However, you must give some understanding of what the truth is through their internal monologue/thoughts.

So, tell me a little bit about growing up. What was your childhood like?

Ember sat with their legs tucked under them, fingers interlaced on top of the table. They were wearing rings, some won at carnivals years ago and others bribed off of the other Nova’s. Tapping one of their against the metal table they looked to the camera. “I grew up in Florida. Not near Disneyland, or the keys, or even the beach. I’m talking inland Florida, just outside the everglades.” Real Florida, that was what their dad called it. “I had one blue rainboot, one pink rainboot, a pirate hat, dungarees, and a polaroid camera. That’s all I would wear from five to seven. I called it my alligator hunting gear. Every rainy season these huge ass gators would sneak over our fence and go skinny dipping in our pool. I’d run them out.”

Brave thing, that’s what their mom called them. And in return from their father. That’s just another word for foolishness, dear.

“For every gator I chased off we’d add a day onto our winter vacation. That’s kind of what my childhood was like.“

What about your relationship with your family?

"I grew up loved.” They opened their mouth, then shut it again. The words had come instantly and spilled just as quickly. Truth. As undeniable as the ebb and flow of the tide. “My mom is an import. Foster baby. No family. My dad was one of seven Jones sons. I was the miracle baby.” They paused, playing with their rings. “Five miscarriages in six years, that’s what came before. Doctors said they should give up. Mom doesn’t quit though.”

For the first time, they were truly still. No fidgeting. They could have gone on. There were stories tucked just behind their tongue. How their dad lifted them onto his shoulders. How their mother taught them to make a proper fist. There were bonfires in the backyard at Christmas with twenty cousins holding sparklers. There were fireworks and ice cream and comparing mosquito bites. But no. Those were memories they would save.

They nodded again. “Yeah. So basically loved.”

Are you the only Nova in your family? Or were your parents Novas too? What about any siblings?

“Probably?” It was a question. “Maybe?” Their chin hit the table and they sighed. “Mom thinks she might have been a laten. But in any case, yes. Only Nova in the family.”

What’s your ability like? Is it easy to control or harder? Do you even like it?

A smile blossomed on their face, brightening it from the inside out. It was this look that had won them the title of best smile in the yearbook three years running. Their left hand reached out into the beam of their spotlight and twisted. The light refracted instantly, sending out shards of rainbow colors across the dull gray interview room. “Sometimes, it feels like I’m carrying a sun around in my chest where my heart should be. I love it my ability. I want to know absolutely everything there is to know about it. I want to become a master.”

How would you describe your personality?

That smile twisted into something a little more impish. As their hand dropped, they dragged the light with them, concentrating it into a ball that they cupped in their hand. “I’m what you get when you cross a tasmanian devil with a zebra and then throw in some platypus for good measure. I know that some people call me naive but I’m not. The world’s gone to shit right now, I know that, but I still believe it can get better. I mean come on, any planet that invented frozen yogurt is not a lost cause.”

What do you think your greatest strengths and weaknesses are?

“Well my greatest strength is my ability to eat a whole pizza pie in less than ten minutes. I’m talking deep dish here. Greatest weakness has got to be dimples.” They grinned at the joke, before sitting a little straighter. “In all seriousness, I don’t know. I don’t even know myself yet. I’ll let you know when we meet, because that will definitely be high on my list of questions.”

Where and what were you doing the day the Nova Protection Act was enacted?

“Playing hooky.” They chuckled, remembering sitting with their feet dangling out of their friend’s honda civic as they raced toward the beach. “Went to the beach for the day and collected seashells. We were getting some of those huge ass pizzas when I saw the news. And then I saw my twelve missed calls.” All from their mom and dad. They hadn’t wanted to believe it would pass. They hadn’t let themselves even think about what would happen.

Did you immediately run? Or did you try to obey the law and report to the Anti-Nova Force?

Neither. They’d gone home and straight into their parent’s arms. For the first time, they didn’t feel safe there. It was their mother who’d prepared for this eventuality. Never run out of fear, my brave thing. “Jones women don’t run.”

How have you survived this last year and a half or so? Did you have any help or were you all alone? How did you find Yalena’s Sanctuary?

“I’m here because of Ada.” There was no shame in that answer. It was the truth after all. Still a pit formed in their stomach. They could still hear the sounds of their mother’s screams. “Wardens came for me, but my mother had built a hidden cellar. They arrested my parents for aiding a Nova in escaping custody. I was alone, scared. I probably would have found my way into one of their zones in a month if it wasn’t for Ada.” Their smile was tight. “I’m in her debt for life. She got me to Yalena’s and all I provided was a good laugh and a night light if she ever wanted to read in the dark.”

What were you doing when the raid happened? How did you respond to the flood of Wardens? How quickly did you go through Yalena’s portal?

Their lips pursed. “I wanted to fight. I was ready to fight too.” They’d been napping on the roof when the alarms began to sound. In an instant, light had been captured in their hands. They could have disoriented the wardens even blinded them but they’d been grabbed by someone. He’d caught their wrist and when they struggled they caught a shoelace and went down hard. When they woke up next, they were at the Imperium. They didn’t like the idea of being dragged through the portal, or of having that choice taken. “If I find out who stopped me, there will be words.”

What has living in The Imperium been like for you? Do you feel safer than before? Is it better or worse than on the run, or Yalena’s Sanctuary?

“It’s a bit too military for me to be honest.” Carefully extracting their legs, they stretched their arms and legs out, trying to work some blood into them. “And way to underground. Don’t get me wrong. I love the warm showers, the three meals a day, the bed.” They threw up an okay sign, a bit of light flicking off the end. “But I miss the sunlight. I think I’m stronger when I’m aboveground. Down here all the light is artificial.”

They paused. “I don’t like hiding. I feel safe, but that’s not the most important thing to me. I want to find my parents. I don’t think I’ll be here for too long.”

The last question. If war broke out between Novas and the humans, which side will you be on?

That was their biggest fear. War. There was nothing good that could come out of killing. They weren’t soldiers and they weren’t science experiments. They were humans just like the rest of the population. Despite all the hardships, they clung to the hope that the fear would subside and clearer minds would prevail. Light danced between their fingertips, pulled from the spotlight. “It won’t come to that.”

Connections:

Sagitarrius: I LOVE this. Ember is all over the place at times, they need someone to help focus that energy. While Sagi could never replace their mother, the parental influence or big sister vibe is exactly what Ember needs. They are tough and they can protect herself but everyone needs a champion in their corner.

I would love to explore friendships, rivalries, first loves and more. Ember is still so young. They are developing and so will their relationships.

Headcanons:

Give us at least 3 headcanons.

Ember is bilingual and can speak both English and Spanish. They additionally has some working knowledge of Filipino from their paternal grandfather. When angry, Ember is likely to curse in Filipino.

Ember is allergic to bees and peanut butter. They have been to the emergency room exactly five times testing whether they ‘outgrew’ this allergy.

They are quite possibly the worst driver in the state of Nevada. Ember failed their driver’s test three times before bribing the instructor with sugar cookies.

They carry a pink switchblade with them at all times as well as a locket with their parents faces inside. One for protection and the other as a reminder to keep moving forward.

Their childhood dog was named Cheese and Ember still holds out hope he has managed to live in Florida as a stray.

Changes:

Virgo’s first name was changed from Angel to Ember.

DETAILED IC INFORMATION

Ember Jones’s instagram page from before the Nova Protection Acthttps://www.instagram.com/sun_summoner1121/

https://makomori1023.tumblr.com/ (Ember’s moodboard)

ANYTHING ELSE?

I just want to say that this rpg looks absolutely amazing

#defianceacceptance

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