#TheMessyMiddle

[tapmora]

“Terrified of Change, Desperate for It: The Quiet War Within”

The Slow Burn of Staying

It always feels like standing with bare feet in a house that is gradually burning to the ground. The fire has yet to reach you, but you can see the smoke filling the air, piercing your eyes, filling your lungs. You cough, you squint, and you hold a grip on a stranger's set of keys, knowing somewhere outside these walls is fresh air, an unbraiding kind of life, and a you who is intact. But your feet, they feel buried in the floorboards, too heavy to move, too scared to run.

The Waiting Game That Never Ends

You tell yourself you’re waiting. Waiting for a sign, a perfect moment, a braver version of yourself who will grab those keys and open the door. It’s a comforting lie because the truth is far heavier: you’re afraid. Scared not just of where you will be, but of what leaving will mean to you. What if nothing ever gets better? What if everything gets worse? What if this house, as bad and smothering as it is, is the best you'll ever have?

Split Between Longing and Loss

They say people call it being stuck, but it isn't. You're not stuck. You're split. Part of you longs for change, its heart burning with the need for something new, something lighter, but the other holds on to everything familiar. It weeps for all the little things that would have to be left behind. Because even in the misery, there were good things. There was laughter in this kitchen, flowers that bloomed in broken soil, routines that gave a sense of security. And you loved this life once, didn't you?

The Drain of Pretending

The most difficult aspect is not the fear of the unknown. It's the draining act of pretending. You convince yourself and all those around you that you're "almost there." That you'll take the leap, that you're just waiting for the moment to arrive. Your muscles hurt from sustaining this version of you, your voice gets raspier from reassuring people that soon, you'll choose yourself. Between knowing better and doing better is there a quiet sort of grief no one prepares you for. It doesn't include a funeral or closure, but it is a death nonetheless.

Change Is a Kind of Death

That's the thing that no one tells you about change. It's not merely stepping into something new, it's burying something old. It's departing from a part of yourself that it took you years to become. It's releasing habits, spaces, folks, and even aspirations that no longer belong. Change requires you to risk everything for a shot at something more, with no promise of success. It's seldom a tidy choice between good and evil. Most times, it's a messy, painful decision between lingering in hurt and taking the chance on possibility.

The Guilt No One Talks About

Perhaps the toughest thing isn't even the anxiety of what comes next, but the shame of wanting it. Shame of acknowledging you're willing to leave behind a place where you once pleaded to be. Of realizing you grew up from something you assumed would be a lifetime. And yet, somewhere in the world, there's a version of you who breathes more freely, laughs more fully, and doesn't need to tally apologies like pennies. You glimpse them from time to time, in dreams, in reflective mirrors, in still moments when you remember not to shield your heart. They seem so near, almost within reach.

A Choice between Sorrow and Promise

Ultimately, change is a matter of pain or possibility. Between the painful comfort of what you know and the aching unfamiliarity of what could be. And perhaps that's what makes it so frightening. But it's also what makes it worth fighting.

[creativesomething]

RT @scottbelsky: While you want to follow your customers’ needs, great brands (& products) are made by not trying to be everything to everyone. Knowing what to let go of (and be bad at) is crucial for optimizing the things that matter. #TheMessyMiddle

[sproutfavorites]

have observed a few times that one of the greatest competitive advantages in startups is the team simply sticking together long enough to figure it out. #themessymiddle https://t.co/g8wg1aMul2

— scott belsky (@scottbelsky) March 1, 2020

[petebiggam]

From the Bluebirds Mouth

Excited about @startupgrind tonight with @scottbelsky - talking product, community, and #themessymiddle https://t.co/X15JLuLLua

— Derek Andersen (@DerekjAndersen) April 2, 2019

[iamdeveloper]

It wasn't easy. To mark the launch of his new book, #TheMessyMiddle, @Adobe's Chief Product Officer and Executive VP @scottbelskyshares his experiences of what it's like to be a creative entrepreneur. https://t.co/HiQVMVI0lV

[adobeillustratornews]

It wasn't easy. To mark the launch of his new book, #TheMessyMiddle, @Adobe's Chief Product Officer and Executive VP @scottbelsky shares his experiences of what it's like to be a creative entrepreneur: https://t.co/OK8MS7FGal https://t.co/PSufFJ4nJr

[petebiggam]

From the Bluebirds Mouth

Great time tonight @StartupGrind with founder/investor/author/community builder @scottbelsky. Go get #themessymiddle it's a great resource for anyone building something impactful. pic.twitter.com/55SAsmwKSD

— Derek Andersen (@DerekjAndersen) April 3, 2019

[petebiggam]

From the Bluebirds Mouth

Adobe's @scottbelsky + @DerekjAndersen = two leaders sharing the secrets to building organizations and navigating #themessymiddle. Join us in #SanFrancisco on April 2, see you there! https://t.co/OEzg22iWB2

— Startup Grind (@StartupGrind) March 28, 2019

[petebiggam]

From the Bluebirds Mouth

RT:StartupGrind: Adobe's scottbelsky + DerekjAndersen = two leaders sharing the secrets to building organizations and navigating #themessymiddle. Join us in #SanFrancisco on April 2, see you there! https://t.co/Z0rmDCc4H9 Adobe's scottbelsky + DerekjAndersen = two leaders shar…

— Pete Biggam (@petebiggam) March 29, 2019

[petebiggam]

From the Bluebirds Mouth

RT:StartupGrind: scottbelsky + DerekjAndersen = two leaders sharing the secrets to building organizations and navigating #themessymiddle. Join us in #SanFrancisco on April 2, see you there! https://t.co/Z0rmDBUtPB scottbelsky + DerekjAndersen = two leaders sharing the secrets …

— Pete Biggam (@petebiggam) March 28, 2019

[adobeillustratornews]

Words of wisdom by @scottbelsky in collaboration with lettering artist @jessicahische. Learn more about Scott's latest project, #TheMessyMiddle: https://t.co/GWCtCbTbse https://t.co/axRFlXo50Y