#Things can only get better from here
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Me, every time anyone says anything about "waiting for The One God has for you"/romantic soulmates/etc: Stop, stop, stop! Why are we implying that everyone has a soulmate when everyone does not have a soulmate? God's going to get nasty letters saying "Where's my soulmate? Why haven't I found my soulmate?" and do you want Him to have to deal with that? I don't think so! Stop spouting heresy being so silly!
#This came to me while I was eating my salad#salt and light#But seriously like the idea that there's only one person for any other person no more no less because ~God says so~ is absolute nonsense#Because *waves my hands towards everyone who's ever wanted to get married but never found someone ever*#and the “no marriage in heaven” thing because some people end up falling in love again after death parts them from their first spouse.#I would really really love to find someone and settle down in the future#but it is absolutely not guaranteed and the odds that God is just going to drop my ~one and only~ in my lap#because I could ~never be fully happy with anyone else~#is like. nil. highly implausible.#Love is a choice and and action and I won't deny that many people are incompatible with many other people#but like. there's not just one person ~Guaranteed and Divinely Intended~ for you.#That's just not how it works.#God can set the perfect guy/gal down in front of any of us and we could screw it up. This whole thing leaves no room for human agency man.#Free will* exists and I will die on that hill#*human free will is not the same thing as Divine free will and will always have some limits placed upon it by our nature as limited beings#but I don't believe our whole course was charted divinely for us at the beginning of time either (hi Arminian here)#but that's a whole other debate lol#Yeah. All that to say. We are not promised a spouse.#And that's okay.#As this coming Sunday reminds us we have something far better offered to all of us.#Trite as it may be to say... He should be what we look for.#Anything else is an add-on.#...holy cow that was a rant in the tags but I stand by it.#Starlight's Nonsense
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I'll never forget how, during the release of s3 of Bridgerton and people talking about how poorly handled Kate and Anthony felt (as characters within the plot because certain writing choices made no sense), along with how some fans felt like they were being sidelined the responses were "Oh, it's not that deep" or "You're reading too much into things", followed with dismissal after dismissal (along with undertones of racism from a certain group, but for another time). Now, with this article (which was edited after the fact mind you) from Shondaland specifically Shonda's weird passive aggressiveness toward Jonathan, fan speculating them having issues with Jonathan and Simone, both of them making it clear how they want Kathony's story to continue even when some producers of the show were giving the opposite vibes....hmm. Doesn't seem like too much reading into the situation but I digress.
#bridgerton#kathony#anthony bridgerton#kate sharma#jonathan bailey#simone ashley#(i also better not see jonathan hate bc some of yall here are weird towards him)#like shondaland using bailey's success in wicked to not only promote their show (like they needed it)#but also being weirdly passive aggressive & downplaying his achievement by saying “okay yeah wicked was cool but remember his not so humble#beginnings in bridgerton“ which is weird as hell to say#even when simone won an award shondaland didn't say shit (like fans did but not shonda & co)#like don't actors usually get support from their other projects as well? like they usually receive more love#and of course it shouldn't be ignored how shondaland is riding on the heels of success but doing little to point out simone's or even give#recognition both things can be true at the same time#but this is the same company that forced a love triangle and dod poor media promotion for their first SA lead among other things#the same company that has received flack since the early days of grey's but i could go on
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Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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🦃 morning / afternoon / evening!
Scarian is the classic <3 ive only written them once for a friend and it took me… months… got stuck on one scene and avoided it for ages (and then got into taurtis x grian but that’s another story)
Cub and Scar being brotherly and inseparable is soo <3333 everything to me. Have you read “closer to another shore”? Oh my god. Changed my life. And scar and Cub within that book… absolute peak. Devoured it twice over and once more on top of that. Very much recommend if you want to tear your own heart out and crush grian like a bug!
ooo! I'll have to give that one a lookie!
I have this whole scale AU for Scarian that I'll write one day. it's bound to be my hardst work yet (yeah including the historial research and mapping nightmare that is Dealing Despair), because Splinter is one of those fics you have to plan every single scene out to make it all come together in the end.
My goal with Splinter) whenever I get around to writing it, it is to have like a fraction of coolness Birrdie's as above, so below has?? It's still one of my favorite fics of all time and I strive to write an AU like that one day. Splinter isnt the same thing? it's like a past life kind of thing, but the part im trying to emulate from aasb is the "oh something is happening here...I am scared of it" vibe.
Eitherway, if you want a good Grian fic (with some Scarian) THATS the fic. This is the fic I give to all my friends new to the fandom/to fanfiction. I shove aasb and Dirges in the Dark at them because those are the two fanfics I want on my shelf YESTERDAY. Like physical copies. (I am working on that actually....)
OKAY I'VE YAPPED ENOUGH! Time to clock in for the writing shift today <3
#sauce yaps#fic recs#friend fics#it's crazy I can say that now because I'd like to say Kit is one of my best friends now...#and to be moots with Birrdie still kind of has me in awe?#I'm yapping in the tags with the small prayer they wont see me in here being weird about it#but like I scrolled back pretty far in my bookmarks to find those fic links really quick#and the amount of bookmarks I have from people im FRIENDS WITH NOW???#And I didn't even realize????#like there worm stuff in there from over a year ago#I got theo stuff in there as if Theo and I aren't on the verge of collabing on a peice???#It's so weird to me I do not feel like im good enough to be their friend but here I am#so I feed them snippets and funny haha jokes and keep my place like the little rat man I am#like I'm out here putting my soul into my work and I dont think I'll be anywhere NEAR my friends skill#not any time soon at least#I think the only thing I have going for me is my inhuman ability to grind out a shit ton of work in a short time period#like yall don't really see it because moe five is taking me so long (happy two months tomorrow ahaha)#but I wrote unsportsmanlike conduct in 7 days#two of those days were just editing and adding final touches#by the time I started unsportsmanlike conduct I had the hockey au for only two weeks#like I cannot turn off my brain and ALL I think about is my stories and what I can do with them#the only way to turn the brain off is to like bake or something because going on walks helps me think better#I sit in vc with the wife and the homies and I yap NON STOP about the fics I don't get a break from them#the notes app is insane and so is the discord and the hell that is my many google docs#and then I pop over to see how kits doing and kit is like “look how organized all my stuff is!” and I wanna throw a brick across the US aga#/aff#because like I would kill to be the that organized.. I also just love kit's brain but thats a different thing entierly#if yall could see the amount of sticky notes on my desk#I have to color coordinate the au and there are BOOKS of notes stacked up because I need to outline physically or I cant outline at all
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genuinely so many of you want to be leftist and "punk" and countercultural soooooo bad but you refuse to become comfortable with the concept of people taking drugs for fun because they like it and not because they were somehow tricked or forced into it without knowing what they were getting themselves into
you'll be like "addiction is a disease!!" but think you're better than those degenerate stoners because you only drink energy drinks and white claws and would never touch "illegal drugs"
many if not most drugs CAN be consumed completely safely with almost 0 risk to the user and even if that werent true and all drugs were extremely dangerous you still wouldn't be better than those of us who love doing drugs recreationally
lighten up and grow up. get offline, talk to real adults, and stop being shocked to discover that they enjoy doing stuff that adults do like have sex and do drugs and even listen to rock and roll
#put punk in parantheses bc yall are hardcore straight edge at best lmao#goes to a punk show in someones basement and gasps when i see people snorting coke off each other in the corner#anyway heres your regular reminder from your friendly neighborhood drug addict that drugs can be and often are consumed safely#LSD‚ MDMA‚ psilocybin‚ cannabis of course‚ ketamine‚ coke‚ whippets. these are all drugs that i personally have used#and that are completely safe when used correctly and by someone who doesn't have some sort of allergy#even if someone is on a dangerous drug like meth or heroin you are not better than them#in fact theyre probably a lot chiller than your ass if youre still viewing drugs as a thing for 'degenerates' to do#literally can not hang out with non druggies anymore bc they cannot stop themselves from moralizing it#i mention that my vape has thc in it and i get That Look and a bunch of 'i would never smoke weed. i mean its fine. i just would NEVER'#i get it! you view drugs as a thing thats only for poor people or people who dont care about themselves or whatever#i call that the go ask alice effect. people will think you smoked weed then immediately had sex got pregnant and died of a heroin overdose#even when they think theyre being super progressive
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suddenly seized with the desire to write/draw a few short little scenes from the world after the events of You Can (Not) Redo (the uh. the yqy timeloop fanfiction. not the evangelion movie which i named it for) because it is, generally speaking, a happy ending, but also yqy is left deeply, deeply broken in ways that would be both fascinating and hilarious to explore
#ramblings#he's like a rescue dog with separation anxiety#sqq's sect relationships are going a lot better here and obv some of that is because The Misunderstanding is dealt with#but a lot of its also thats its hard to take his bitchiness at face value when he is tenderly fussing over yqy with fierce protectiveness#he is obviously and indisputably the only thing keeping everyone's favorite shixiong from falling the fuck apart#also in general its interesting to me to explore what sqq's cultivation would look like in aus where it didnt get fucked over so badly#though if i just wanted to explore THAT the sj ive written in the best position cultivation-wise would the one from the sy!wyz au#also crazy to think about the fact that yqy himself is also significantly stronger in this au than canon#he has been cultivating for LIFETIMES and can command xuan su without any drawbacks#and he is the most unhinged version of yqy i have. terrifying when you think about it!!#mannnnnn makes me think about the fact that i Almost wrote yqy attickwifing sqq in one of the loops oit of sheer desperation#but i ended up not doing that bc it might have fixed them actually. and also would have taken the genre of that fic in a very dif direction#but it compels me
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Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co
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“-and that's why I ain't allowed in Pier Point no more!” Boothill throws his head back and cackles, somehow completely comfortable on the bare floor of the archives. He's the very picture of ease, his arms behind his head, his legs bent and crossed.
Dan Heng barely looks up from his notebook, not much surprises him anymore after the first few tales of lawless exploits. “So they really have that many laws and restrictions there.”
“And prob’ly a few more now that I've been through there! Heck, ya think they named any after me? I'm hopin’ so.” There's so much smug cockiness seeping through his voice Dan Heng could bottle it.
Silence settles in, stretches out. Dan Heng doodles pensive circles in the corner of his page.
He shouldn't ask. It's a private matter. It's none of his business. He of all people should know-
Something pokes his shoe, and when he looks up, Boothill has stretched one arm up to tap metallic fingertips against his foot. “Ain't like ya to hesitate.” With his head tipped back on the tiles and gazing at him upside down, Boothill's hair is out of his face and spooling out all over the floor, offering a rare view of his right side. His right eye is sealed over with a pitch-black patch, stark against his skin. Dan Heng wonders what he looks like behind it. “C'mon, then, out with it. Spill the beans, brother, just say it.”
“What does ‘Boothill’ mean?”
The man blinks at him, the crosshair in his cybernetic left eye flickering. Dan Heng shifts, smooths out his long coat. “I tried to look it up once. It's not in any database as a name...other than your wanted posters.” There's a thread beginning to fray near the hem, he should sew it up. “I couldn't find it anywhere.”
He nearly takes it back, but- “Heh, ya that curious about me, darlin’?”
Dan Heng quickly levels his face into the most impassive, nonplussed expression he can muster, but Boothill has already turned away, head pillowed on his arms and face once again turned to the ceiling.
“But nah, ya wouldn't. Hah, like they'd allow any record of the language, fudgeheads.” One arm sweeps around blindly until it finds the edge of Boothill's hat, sets it back where it belongs on his head. Dan Heng shuffles around, scoots a little closer, but the brim is pulled too low to see his eyes anymore.
“It's ‘cause it's not a name. It's a noun.” All that's visible of his face is a sharp grin, pulled too tight at the edges.
“It's my people's word for a grave.”
Dan Heng's pencil stops.
“It's the kinda grave fer someone who died with their boots on. If ya catch my drift there.” Boothill's foot starts to bounce. “There was a war, and it got reeeeeal intense, yup. Folks started droppin’ like flies, ‘n’ there was bodies faster'n what we could bury ‘em.” A cooling fan kicks on somewhere. Dan Heng is pretty sure it's not any of the Express equipment.
“We lost some real good people there, real good. Mighty shame.” His hidden Vidyadhara ears detect a quiet metallic click, a whir, pressurized gas. Boothill's next words waft steam from his angry circuits into the air. “When I left, I decided to leave my name there, too. Didn't feel right otherwise. The life I lead now is a whole ‘nother existence.” And then Boothill turns his head, raises his hat, and Dan Heng suddenly feels pinned dead center, caught in that crosshair.
“Ya know what I mean, don'tcha?”
Dan Heng swallows.
Does Boothill know? Who he is and who came before him? There had been that moment in the Penacony Grand Theater, after he activated the Jade Abacus… Dan Heng had tried to shoo him out, keep him from seeing anything, but Boothill has the astounding ability to turn up exactly wherever people are trying to keep him away from.
If he did see, does he actually understand it? Does he know what a High Elder is? Does he know about the sedition of Imbibitor Lunae, the transmutation arcanum, everything Dan Feng had done and Dan Heng was punished for?
He doesn't want to explain it all. Not now. Possibly not ever, truth be told.
And it's not the same as Boothill leaving behind his old identity when whatever event happened that caused him to leave home. Not really. But…
But so far, Boothill has slid so easily into Dan Heng’s routine. His presence never feels like an intrusion. He's already figured out what he can push and when to back down. And even Dan Heng finds himself able to roll with whatever punches Boothill throws with baffling ease. They share too much in their methods and ideologies, and sometimes Dan Heng knows what Boothill will do seemingly before even Boothill himself knows.
“...Tell me about Talia and the Nailscrap Town.” Boothill must know he's avoiding the topic. He must. But the man just throws his head back and cackles, melting easily back into what they had been doing before, as he speaks fondly of a planet that Dan Heng has never visited.
Not today. But.
Dan Heng inches just a little closer, just enough to nudge his foot against a metal leg. Boothill doesn't pull away.
Maybe someday.
#honkai star rail#henghill#boothill#dan heng#hsr#bootheng#hsr boothill#hsr dan heng#BEHOLD. my brainrot#Aeragan-Epharshel and The Sedition of Imbibitor Lunae not as things they feel they have to tell each other#(bc what is most important is who they both are TODAY and what they are like NOW)#like they aren't maliciously hiding anything from each other and neither thinks so of the other#their pasts are just something they CAN share to deepen the bond and know each other better#things like Boothill better understanding why Dan Heng sleeps in a room lit 24/7 by electronics if he knows he grew up in a dark prison cell#or Dan Heng better understanding Boothill’s motivations & what kinda life he might want post-revenge if he knows how Aeragan-Epharshel was#I think it's only thanks to the Express Crew that Dan Heng can even begin to think about telling someone All Of That#he has people who love him and it has made such a huge huge difference for him ♡#meanwhile in in-game texts Boothill tends to gloss over the loss of his home. I don't think he's super keen to talk about it much either.#I let him say a little more about it here since he and Dan Heng had a lot more time together to get comfortable with each other in canon.#the thing with his eye is based off a voiceline of his but isn't canon from Hoyo or anything#but it's canon to ME#same with things like him having to literally let off steam when he gets pissed haha#I need to just make a post about all my weird robot body Boothill hcs I love cyborgs woohoo#that and him & Anger I have a lot of feelings about that too ♡#also. wireplay NZMZMXMMDDM
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does anyone wanna give me the love and affection I didn’t get as a child
#lemon man talks#/silly#im really feeling the lack of it lately#chronic loneliness or whatever#I know no one is gonna come save me and give me all the love I need#But man I can hope#Any bit of love is appreciated though#I just wanna say thank you for everyone that ever stopped to tell me it gets better or they’re here for me#Even if I never reach out you’re on my mind and I’m so grateful#You’re the only ones that ever cared about me or tried to help at all#So#thank you i love you#I feel so bad for always saying I’m lonely and that no one cares about me bc I know it’s not true#But the one part of me that never received love when I needed most and developed without any affection kills me everyday#It’s always screaming at people saying they don’t truly care and just pity me#It’s always telling me the only love I’ll ever get is the one from my abusers#I have to remind myself that’s not true and that I shouldn’t go back to them no matter how lonely I am#Every day#and there’s the one part of my brain that just says that I deserve it#Every bad thing that comes my way#I deserve it all#and I never should’ve gotten love growing up anyways#And it’s not fucking true!! I was a child!!!!!!!#But why don’t they stop screaming at me!!!!!!!!#There’s a child’s corpse in the place where that love should be
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Jon: If you need a vessel so bad why don't you just become-
Elias: Because I'm not scared of them.
Jon: ......
Elias: I don't need your body, Jon. I need your fear. 😈
Meanwhile, Elias the Gaslight King in earlier seasons: Jon you know I'd never let anything bad happen to you, I'm only trying to help. We need to save the world together, isn't that what we're trying to achieve? Oh Jon, Jon, Jon, bad things are only happening because you do not trust me. Trust me, and we can save everyone. Don't you believe me?
Then it went the exact opposite with Peter and Martin.💀😂💔
Peter: I've got the perfect plan to beat Elias. Can you do what it takes to become the hero?
Martin: I'm going to save the world?
Peter: Yes, and it will be you and you alone. Do you trust me?
Martin: I trust you.
That same season 💀
Peter: You played me! 😳😭 You've been lying to me this entire time.
Martin: You lied first 🙄 and I knew it the instant you told me I'd save the world. I can't save the world. I've never saved anything in my entire life. I'm not important enough to be the hero.
#And it fascinates me to no end. The amusing spin on the characters. With Elias and Jon you've got a Master Manipulator#and a Pessimist with no sense of self preservation. 💀#With Peter and Martin you've got someone who's not spent enough time with people to either know how manipulation works or when someone is#lying to him. 💀#And someone with low self esteem. 💀#Jon has low self esteem too#but he genuinely believes he can fix everything himself and that's where they differ.#And things only start changing for the better when Jon can fully rely on Martin#And here's the most fascinating thing of all.#Stopping the apocalypse#giving Jon the confidence to embrace his powers but not get consumed by them#that was all Martin#Fighting for Jon's life#that was Martin.#At the end of the day#Martin was the hero#and he never realised it.#tma#the magnus archives#jmart#tma jmart#jon x martin#martin blackwood#jonathan sims#If Martin is the knight in shining armour that would make Jon our princess#seems about right#it's about time we got a monster-core princess too#Jon showing up to the grand ball covered from head to toe in eyes.#elias bouchard#peter lukas
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there's a self-help/mental health adjacent post that's going around and it seems to be really helpful for a lot of people which is very good. I also personally hate it with all my fucking heart
#it's the anhedonia one btw lmao#if i. have to be exposed to one more goddamn cbt-ass advice post in my life. I will start tearing throats out with my teeth#and I will have earned the right to because I've been through the fucking TRENCHES over the years man#I think it's the appeal to urgency at the end however ruefully humorously packaged that ohohoho. really grrrrinds my gears.#this is obviously not what the person is trying to do with that but the unavoidable implication that the reason you might still#be suffering is that you just haven't tried hard enough to change to like things to open your eyes... hey. respectfullly. fuck off#peak advice for mild to moderate symptoms of mental illness thoughtlessly presented as universally applicable#without any consideration for the deeper thing you're saying -- that if someone is in a real bad way and DOESN'T get better#it's their own responsibility and they just haven't tried hard enough. in trying to be kind you are being so desperately cruel#to the people who are struggling the most. bitch I am fucking GREAT at liking things! it's one of my best skills!! I'm generally curious!#my capacity for enthusiasm and intellectual joy over any old thing that strikes my fancy is legendary and often I suspect quite annoying!!!#so when anhedonia completely envelops me I know it's a sign of something else and bigger going on in the background#it's not a choice. the brain is not solely a cognitive machine!! you cannot fix everything that can go awry with it by Thinking Better!!!#cbt must be great for the people it's great for and I'm sincerely genuinely glad for it. less suffering in the world is great#but it is a way of thinking that is a hammer and you just have to hope like fuck your problem is a nail. because otherwise#you're bruised from being beaten with hammers and the additional shame of what's wrong with you that it's not helping#and again I recognize very keenly that this is not a space meant entirely for me. people sharing resources that amn are not about me#is not only fine it's good it's great! however. it'd also be nice to not get thrown under the fucking bus for once#because my presence fully expressed is an uncomfortable reminder of the things we *cannot* control about our own brains lmao#I'm lucky that I've been in the game long enough and have enough resources to start to smell the bullshit here but...#the pain 'losing years' induces in you when you don't have *a fucking choice* -- because it's not a matter of willpower#or positive thinking or changing your mindset. you're just sick. in a way medicine hasn't quite figured out how to help yet.#well. maybe. maybe don't put that on someone huh. maybe don't make their 'lost years' to depression and doomscrolling or whatever#'their own fault'. I kind of think that's possible to do without submitting to doomposting. is all.#(I feel the same about the 'resting vs. rotting' idea. well friend sometimes the best I can hope for is some gentle rotting#thanks for introducing this layer of disgust and condemnation to the general despair. it's added a patina)#this might actually be the first time I've managed to hold on to my own anger about this rather than it getting drowned out by shame tho#which as steps forward go. *sigh* it's not a moon landing is it. but a small step for man nevertheless I suppose
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Stuck at my mom's house until the 27th, can't finish the comic I was working on until then :( here's a rough Cowboy!pinup sketch of Bumblebee and some Breakbee + Piston angst:


#I'll delete this later i just want to talk about it :3#not featured: WHY Piston is pulling a [REDACTED] on their sire#rubbing my hands together like a fly ooooooh do i have some angst in the works for you guys i just don't have a perspective tool rl#Okay i had the idea of a cute Bumblebee and Breakdown in cowboy hats with a bonus piston but then i had an Idea#yes that but then follow up later when its time to pick a side piston does a cowboy accent very sadly like they have to pretend its not real#the REASON is s3 bee and break fighting in the dome and bee lost on his back with Break towering above him with a [REDACTED] pointed at him#and Piston is beating on the glass WAILING for them to stop#but the view point is slightly behind breaks so he's HUGE and bee is small and Piston is even smaller in the foreground#they stop fighting but Piston can not forgive their sire for that Piston took after Breaks they were thick as thieves but no no#they saw the look in his eye the fear in bee and he only stopped bc shockwave called him off yes he was hesitating to pull and shaking#like a leaf knowing he was being used like a rabid dog to take down the autobot he has to pretend to hate but Piston will always wonder#if he'd do it and they can't decide and it eats them alive but that's their carrier and forgiveness is not cheap#bumblebee does what he can to talk Piston down its just business he didn't really mean it they ve had centuries of faking it but Piston#oh sweet Piston childish days are over their spark has been hardened#they arent on a path of violence or vengeance but when breaks seeks them out “come with me we can be a real family on cybertron ”#piston says “we already were”#and later later we land on the So i guess that's it....i guess so.... you best get on out of here then#AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#does piston ever forgive? no but they understand things kinda get better but it's different now#i think they're scared that they'll end up like breaks bc they're so much like him they looked up to him and loved him so much#and now they know they have the capacity to do something like that and be used like that and they're scared#just so so so SO scared and it bothers them breaks was forced into it and they just want to SCREAM#they just want to run away with their parents away from the war where no one can bother them and live quietly#transformers#maccadam#transformers oc#tf piston#worry not i shall draw these once I'm home#but i have a laundry list of other things i want to draw first
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spending the entire day putting in apartment applications and tour requests and lemme tell you this shit is STRESSFUL
#theres so many numbers and things to consider#and somehow its telling me i can move in either 2mos or 1.5yrs#like make up your mind chat im kind of in a time crunch here#the sad news is washington might not happen next year like i planned#chat thinks its better to wait until early 2027#which is only like 6mo later#but with losing the house and them giving a 4mo-1yr timeframe with no definitive date needed to be out by#im just kind of fucked#like they could legally tell me to get out tomorrow and i would have to#so like im walking on eggshells trying to figure out where to go#theres a complex like 5min from me and its actually pretty nice and affordable for a 2bd 2br#and the plan is to stay for only a year#and then if the political climate doesnt get better#i dont know#alberta is still a pretty sound option#its just getting citizenship as an american without like having a reason like family or a job to vouge for you seems near impossible#but next week hopefully i can get some tours in to the places i sent apps to#but i need to make as much money as possible as quickly as possible#cuz all my savings went out the door having to cover for other shit#and i only have 800$ when i was literally less than 300$ away from the washington goal#thats why i gotta stay local for now#but we'll make it out there#i only need like 5k for the local move#i just am paranoid these fuckers are gonna kick me out
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Do you think you be Mayor could’ve been better friends (orsomethingmore) under different circumstances?
MASTER POST
Asks Start 💜🩷
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#lego monkie kid#lego monkie kid fanart#monkie kid#monkie kid fanart#lmk#lmk fanart#lmk macaque#monkie kid macaque#blue and violet#literally the only reason these two know each other is because LBD needed the two of them to find the skeleton key#if it were not for that then these two would have never met#so I suppose you could say it always had to turn out this way#but that doesn't mean it cant get any better#BUT THEN AGAIN I SUPPOSE YOU COULD ALSO SAY THAT IT CAN GET WORSE#Macaque really doesn't know what to think of the Mayor#like the dude did some crazy and hurtful stuff to Macaque (kind of) with the whole kidnapping thing#but its not like Macaque can actually blame the Mayor for doing that#same goes for the fact that Macaque had to work with the Chief against his will all those years ago#the Mayor/Chief isnt the one ti blame here but the guy still did that stuff#so its complicated#in other words Macaque wants to hate the Mayor but literally cannot find a valid reason to do so#could these two habe been friends from the get go if things were different?#I don't think so#because they would have never met in the first place#because LBD is the reason these two met and LBD is also the reason why the relationship turned very very sour and bitter#at least in Macaque's POV
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We took our steadiness training out into the wild last night!
#dogblr#rory borealis#bird dog training#the goal here is just to wait until i tap her to go get the thing#she stands better on the ground than on the board#so in subsequent runs i just moved the cato board#but nbd#shes doing soooo good#im gonna stay at this stage for a bit#no need to move forward from here for a while#i overheard some people saying that doing steadiness foundations too young can ruin your bird dog but i think thats nonsense??#if it is true well whatever ill know for the next dog#but shes not lacking enthusiasm so hopefully im fine#some notes if youre doing this at home: dog should be standing of their own free will not you holding them back#dog should be looking in the correct direction before you send them dont ask for eye contact#and only work on one skill at a time (dont ask for a steady to throw and a retrieve to heel if your dog doesnt know both of those separate)#and if you have multiple dogs consider using their name to release instead of 'go!' like im using here#just to make it easier to work multiple dogs at once if thats something you want to do
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My track by track first impressions for Unreal Unearth (with some contextualized thoughts of the singles)
De Selby Part 1 - straight into the lullabies playlist. Just perfect.
De Selby Part 2 - perfect fade in from Part 1. I couldn't have dreamt up a better, more subtle transition. Still my current creature comfort.
First Time - oh, ffs, it's bluesy and sad. Lethal combination. This might be another one on repeat later. Ow. Ouch, ow. THE FINAL TIME YOU CALLED ME "BABY". Wtf. I see why some of y'all were cussing him out on here.
Francesca - my beloved. Brutal to have this follow First Time, though. Mentally two-stepping through the tears. The bellowing at the outro still has the power to ascend me despite my replaying.
I,Carrion - another certified heartbreaker for the lullabies playlist. She's Greek, she's cosmic, she's pure love.
Eat Your Young - I am once again solidified in my conviction to refuse having children in this fucked up world. Y'all be safe.
Damage Gets Done (feat. Brandi Carlile) - Okay guitar lick! Oh the voices belting together in harmony is hitting me. I'm getting really 2010s feelings I haven't felt in forever. I feel the sudden urge to forgive myself. He's back at it again with the choral work, CAN I LIVE??
Who We Are - and just like that, I'm back on my emo shit. He really went for emotional whiplash in terms of song ordering, huh? Not me literally listening to this while engulfed in a dark room as well. Another one I'll have to repeat, I fear.
Son of Nyx - oh fuck. Oh no. Not the piano dragging along. And no words. THE CUTOFF. THE STRINGS. THE VOCALIZATIONS. It's definitely a warning. Shit's about to start hurting for real. It's so haunting and gorgeous.
All Things End - Hello, old friend, my first favorite. I'm terrified of what follows you. It was bad enough watching the man "die" on the table (my hands are in the air to receive the gospel).
To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuarithe) - fucking hell. Just devastating. Idk how much more I can take.
Butchered Tongue - this hits like crazy if you have any connection to a diaspora that was nearly erased or just have ancestry DEEPLY rooted oppression and the like. Ffs, I'm gonna need stitches for a cut that deep.
Anything But - and then this happy shit. Back at it again with the whiplash, the bastard. I love it though! This is going on the light and bright playlist. I'm a sucker for sad lyrics dressed in bright colors. And the vocals?? Come on, now.
Abstract (Psychopomp) - I was right. Everything following Son of Nyx just hurts differently. Dare I say worse than the first half of the album. I really shouldn't get into how I relate OFTEN to the poor roadkill creatures in my area.
Unknown/Nth - a nice and plentiful helping of stake through the heart, as usual. The briiidge. I drown in it every time.
First Light - I'm gonna say it's an instant classic. The imagery. The love on love on love. The catharsis. The drumsss. Oh! The acoustic fade out.
Overall, he didn't bother not once to lift his heel on this album. He's outdone himself. No skips. I am foaming at the mouth, waiting for my vinyl to come in. All get 10s across the board from me. 16 works of art. I really wish I could lock myself in a room for three days to really digest this album.
#unreal unearth#my stereo could not have come at a better time i swear#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#the ONLY white man that can have a little bit of my paycheck#here you go bookie 💰#de selby part 1#de selby part 2#first time#francesca#i carrion#eat your young#damage gets done#who we are#son of nyx#all things end#to someone from a warm climate (uiscefhuarithe)#butchered tongue#anything but#abstract (psychopomp)#unknown nth#first light
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Help! I’ve fallen for a rarepair from a show that ended 6 years 1 month and 7 days ago!
And by rarepair I mean there is one singular fic about them where they’re not a side ship or in a collection of smut drabbles
#don’t worry Graham and Jefferson I saw the way you never interacted but were in such similar situations caused by the same woman#all it would have taken was for Graham to get some kind of hint that Jefferson knew and he could have gone to him :.(#gotten the help he needed from someone who actually knew what was going on#JEFFERSON WOULD HAVE FIGURED OUT THE VAULT#HE WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO PUT GRAHAMS HEART BACK#THE COMFORT THEY WOULD GET FROM EACH OTHER#Jefferson having someone who remembers ;~;#Graham having someone who knows he’s not crazy#who could protect him from Regina ;~;#Graham could live with him in his mansion in the woods#with his wolf brother right there#and let’s be real Graham would not have been okay after getting his heart back#like he was literally emotionally numb and being abused for thirty years#everything that happened to him and what he was forced to do would have hit him like a truck the minute it was back in his chest#probably would have had a panic attack immediately#probably the only way he would feel safe is as far from Regina he could get (Jefferson’s mansion in the middle of the woods)#in a locked room and with his wolf brother right there#I just think they could be a really soft friends to lovers okay#ouat#jefferson ouat#graham humbert#huntsman ouat#once upon a time#also I’m not Regina bashing down here I just wish Grahams abuse and trauma was treated better#like there’s no way in hell he would ever forgive her or feel safe around her#he’d probably want her dead#another thing he and Jefferson have in common#but I can imagine him never acting on it and just completely removing himself from the show and living a safe and comfortable cottage-core#life with Jefferson and Grace#and his wolf brother
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