#TryingToLetGo

[humanity-s-trials]

you were good to me

And now I'm closin' every door 'Cause I'm sick of wantin' more You were good to me You were good to me, yeah Swear I'm different than before I won't hurt you anymore 'Cause you were good to me

[justhavetorant]

Why

It’s been almost half a year since I’ve seen you in person. I thought moving to the other side of Lake Michigan would make me forget you. That distance would be good. Helpful.

It wasn’t.

It seems like as soon as I moved out, she moved in. Even though you had been seeing her for about a month at that point, I didn’t know that. You were always so private. How was I supposed to know?

How did I ever feel like I knew you.

But then you were tagged in a photo on facebook. One of your master’s cohort friends who likes to document everything. You invited HER to your annual get-together with your master’s friends.

I think I knew then SHE was staying around.

I don’t know anything about this girl. I’m sure she has a fine personality. I only know her online persona. She seems vapid. She seems fake. Her teeth are too white and her hair color isn’t natural. She posts so many selfies. And who the fuck wears pinky rings in 2019?

But it’s been 5 months.

You’re officially in a relationship with her. You smile wide in every photo. You dress up. You wine and dine her even though with me you were always pretty stingy. Heard through the grapevine that you have been since September.

You still send me snapchats. Never facebook notifications. Never texts. Nothing but SnapChat texts which flow away after 24 hours. SnapChat texts that you don’t respond to for days at a time. You never remember what we were talking about. You sometimes leave me on read.

You’re playing with my heart and I think you know it. But you won’t stop it.

 I know you’re what we would call a “fuck boi.”

Too bad we never even got to fuck.

Now everyday I’m kicking myself for agreeing for us to be “friends.” I’m kicking myself that I ever told you I had feelings for you. I was so naïve that I thought you might too.

You chose a 22 year-old. You, a 27 year-old, chose a 22 year-old.

I know you’re immature. I know I intimidate you. I know I’m not as attractive as the one you did choose. But why lead me on like you did? Like you continue to do?

Why?

We’re at an impasse now. With every happy couples pic she posts, I’m out. With every left on read snap, I’m out. With every hopeful comment you send my way, I know I need to fight.

I’m not talking to you anymore. You make me feel worse about myself and I don’t need that.I’m just so tired of being sad and stuck in the past while you moved on immediately.

You didn’t. even. pause.

I’m tired of asking why. So instead….goodbye.

[fatiguev]

#messyroommessythoughts #soft #tryingtoletgo #cut #nightiswhenimissyoumost

[alovetolast00-blog]

#tryingtoletgo #remindme #selflove

[trouverlaliberte]

you stole my breath

swallowed it down while you

roamed every inch of my body

smoking eyes were one way mirrors

I could see myself but not 

you

fingertips pulsed through divots and ridges

teeth indenting your lip

and I was oblivious 

as I connected each freckle

like a constellation

raked grooves along your spine

that you were injecting heartbreak

into my fragile veins

so that it throbbed and squeezed 

around my brain as you returned

the breath you had stolen.

And as you left, kissed me goodbye

my smile slipped out the door too

and left me cold, the warmth of your arms

severed by sun rays reflecting off the tear streaks

on my cheeks.

I thought I could play pretend

barricade my heart from my body

but it's never that simple, is it? 

and like your eyes, my bathroom mirror

reflects my image as well

but all I see is disgust.

you make me beautiful

but you also make me beautifully destroyed

guess I like the way it hurts.

[babyysoftt]

Mastering the art of letting go.

"I've come to the point of heart break where I hate everything that involved you. I never wished to, but I hate you. I hate you for making me feel this way. I hate you for not thinking of how I'd feel. I hate you for lighting me up like the cigarette you smoke every night and throwing me out exactly the way you do to the cigarette. I hate you so much for making me believe that you loved me. I feel so angry with you and myself, not only because I fell into whatever game you had going on, but mostly because I let myself think you actually cared and loved me. I don't know how to move on. Every thought of you is holding me back into some dark hole I can't climb out of. Every word you said is etched in my brain. Every smile, every laugh, every single special moment shared between us is constantly replaying in my head and I swear one more day of this and I'll pull out my hair. I hate how much of an effect you have on me. I hate it to death. I just wish I could be free from you. I feel like a sinking boat and I'm almost all the way under, just ready to go completely. I'm desperately ready to be free from you. I hate that I love you. " August 22nd. 1:19am.

[pqyxtarq]

What Can I Say?

I should tell you... You run marathons through my head. You swim laps in my tears. You fenced your way through my heart. I would tell you, but... You became tired of running. You forgot how to swim and nearly drowned. You ended up missing my heart and struck an artery instead. One day everything changed. A permanent change is what's best For me and everyone else involved. There's only one way that's possible. You must pry my heart open. Next take a pair of scissors and cut My heart strings until nothing is intact. Utterly destroy me and I'll leave, I'll walk away forever. I'm telling you this... If I ever leave, I'll always look Back everywhere I go. Hoping and praying You'll be right behind me. I'll save a spot For you in my head, my tears, and my heart. Please say you'll always... Run those late night marathons. Swim those choppy waves. Fence that impossibly tough opponent. I'll miss you the day you stop. Nothing will ever be the same again. Everything will be a barren wasteland. I'd rather have you destroying it all Then have my venues become vacant.

[ijustreallylikellamas-blog]

I haven't let go but I'm not holding on either I guess you could say I'm floating ... but everyday you make it harder to decide how I really feel inside I guess what I'm trying to say is , your like gravity Pulling me closer to this thing called love I wish I could just float And not get hurt your words seem like empty promises That I'm falling for again I wish I could help it But my heart can't resist Is this really love Or just an illusion Of what it wants but cannot have Is it even possible for us to be the same again ? I wish we were simple But it seems that life likes to make it complicated If I only knew how you really feel about me

[natxpack]

Kinda just want to scream at you right now.

Ask you what the fuck is up with you. And why you are acting this way. Then If my theory is correct I can yell at you some more for being a stupid fucktard. And then I'll most likely start crying at some point. In which case, you wouldn't care. Because... I don't know. I don't know why you act this way. Especially to me. I'm the only one who gets treated this way. So.. What the hell did I do?

[endlessyawn]

Let her go.

I keep having dreams about you and it's fucking killing me. I don't want to wake up feeling empty anymore.

[silverr-lust]

I hope she loves your tattoo, you know the one I gave you. The one that reminds you of me. The one that won't let you go.

[fckurbullshit]

Everyday

Tired of trying Tired of being so invested and crying drowning in the pain Tired of the fuckin charade Faking smiles and being forced outta bed Day to day trynna keep my head on straight And everyday not believing a word people say They claim to care and couldn't live without you But days pass without anyone by your side Alone everyday and pushing everyone out Either feeling numb or only feeling pain Head spinning and the worlds upside down All you want is to be happy but Happiness doesn't seem real and Happiness seems like it's for everybody else Try everyday to do something out of your comfort zone Try everyday to get something you'll always be without Sometimes the smallest thing will make you cry and shout Sometimes the littlest things will turn your day around but The pain is more than you can live with And sometimes living doesn't seem worth it But you keep going, keep fighting Never feeling worth it Feeling like you don't deserve to be happy And sometimes life proves: you don't deserve to be happy But everyday you've waken up tired And everyday you've fought to keep going. And everyday you continue to fight without a reason But everyday you'll fight for maybe one day you'll have a reason.

[beneaththesmile-blog]

you didn't break my heart when we parted. you broke my heart when you didn't turn around. not once.