#Vendor feature reports

[gantengpermanen]

WebHID Electron Desktop App Arduino ESP32 USB HID Vendor Basic IO Example Test Demo Simple basic example Arduinp ESP32 TinyUSB HID device Electron WebHID API Microsoft Windows desktop application test demo USB HID (Human Interface Devices) Vendor feature reports.

[asestimationsconsultants]

The Role of a Residential Estimating Service in Luxury Home Builds

Luxury home construction goes far beyond standard residential projects in scope, complexity, and expectations. From custom architectural features to premium materials and specialized labor, every element contributes to a higher level of precision and detail. A residential estimating service becomes an indispensable partner in managing the financial and logistical intricacies that define luxury builds.

Understanding the Demands of Luxury Projects

Luxury homes often feature bespoke layouts, high-end finishes, smart home systems, and amenities like wine cellars, pools, home theaters, and integrated wellness rooms. These projects frequently include input from multiple consultants—interior designers, landscape architects, lighting specialists, and more—each contributing to the design and cost structure. With this level of complexity, accurate estimating isn’t optional; it’s essential.

A residential estimating service specializes in itemizing each component, calculating associated costs, and accounting for both labor specialization and longer lead times. In luxury construction, even minor inaccuracies in estimating can lead to significant financial consequences.

Detailed Cost Breakdowns for Custom Features

One of the key advantages of using a residential estimating service in luxury builds is its ability to deliver highly detailed breakdowns. These estimates go beyond general categories like framing or roofing and instead offer line-by-line clarity on custom cabinetry, imported materials, custom stonework, and unique structural modifications.

For example, estimating a marble-clad master bathroom in a luxury home isn’t just about square footage; it involves evaluating the type of marble, precision cuts, potential wastage, sourcing and shipping costs, and installation labor by experienced craftsmen. A good residential estimating service factors in every detail.

Maintaining Cost Accuracy Across Long Timelines

Luxury home builds typically take longer to complete than standard homes. This extended timeline increases the risk of price fluctuations in materials and labor. A residential estimating service monitors these changes and provides periodic updates to the budget forecast, ensuring that costs are tracked consistently throughout the duration of the project.

This ongoing support helps homeowners and project managers stay ahead of unexpected costs and make strategic decisions when changes become necessary due to product availability or design modifications.

Coordination with High-End Vendors and Trades

Luxury homes involve vendors and tradespeople who specialize in custom or high-end work. These professionals often have different pricing models and availability timelines than those found in traditional construction. A residential estimating service bridges the gap between clients, vendors, and contractors by ensuring all pricing, scope of work, and expectations are aligned from the start.

They also facilitate clear comparisons when multiple vendors are considered, offering clients a full view of cost versus quality for each option—a valuable service when choosing between exclusive suppliers or bespoke products.

Supporting Quality Control with Accurate Budgets

Quality control is paramount in luxury builds. A residential estimating service supports this objective by ensuring that budgets account for the level of detail and precision required. When every component is correctly priced, it helps prevent cost-cutting that could compromise quality down the line.

Furthermore, clear estimates reduce the likelihood of disputes with contractors or suppliers regarding inclusions and exclusions, protecting both the client and the project from miscommunication and delays.

Providing Value Engineering Without Sacrificing Aesthetics

In some luxury projects, clients may need to reduce overall costs without losing the high-end aesthetic. A residential estimating service helps by offering value engineering suggestions—strategic alternatives that preserve the look and feel while minimizing costs.

For instance, if a custom walnut built-in exceeds the budget, the estimator may recommend engineered wood with a walnut veneer, maintaining visual appeal at a lower cost. These types of compromises are only possible when backed by accurate cost data and deep understanding of material properties.

Collaborating with Design and Architecture Teams

In luxury builds, the collaboration between a residential estimating service and the design team becomes more integrated. Estimators review architectural and interior design drawings to ensure financial alignment with the overall vision. They often participate in design meetings and work proactively to spot potential cost concerns before construction begins.

This early-stage involvement helps avoid costly revisions during the build and ensures that the project remains both financially viable and creatively ambitious.

Enhancing Client Experience and Trust

Luxury clients expect a high level of service and transparency throughout their projects. A residential estimating service contributes to that experience by providing regular updates, detailed breakdowns, and clear communication. Clients can see exactly where their money is going and why, which builds trust and confidence.

When surprises do arise—as they often do in complex builds—a residential estimating service is equipped to provide quick, accurate financial responses, turning potential setbacks into manageable decisions.

Conclusion

Luxury home construction demands more than standard budgeting—it requires a residential estimating service with the experience and tools to manage complexity, customization, and evolving expectations. From initial concept to final walkthrough, an expert estimating partner provides the financial clarity and adaptability needed to ensure that a luxury project stays true to its design vision without spiraling out of financial control. By offering transparency, precision, and strategic guidance, residential estimators elevate the entire building experience for both client and contractor.

[lacklusterlion]

Let’s talk about that time I volunteered for Dashcon 2

Photos, videos and a small novel under the cut. All of the media wouldn’t fit in one post so I’ll be making a couple other posts. Strap in folks cuz this is gonna be a long one.

Before (Virtual)

At midnight on the 5th, I can the pleasure of being the very first panel at dashcon 2. I was thoroughly convinced that my panel would be empty, given the fact I was going on at what was deemed “the freak hours” but was shocked by the sheer amount of people that came out to listen to me yap about memes that are old enough to be in middle school now. The chat was incredibly active, so supportive and I couldn’t have asked for a smoother run. Thanks for all my freaks and geeks for showing up.

Before (physical)

I grabbed maybe 4 hours of sleep, woke up and immediately grabbed a Costco granola bar, a redbull and took my ass to the bank to grab some cash. Just because I was volunteering/working a shift didn’t mean I wasn’t able to pull up a few hours prior and take in the sights. It took me an hour and a half to get there as a Toronto local but then again, Toronto’s an hour and a half away from Toronto. After a streetcar, bus and train, I was finally pulling up to the venue.

During (before shift)

I walked in and immediately hit up volunteer check in. They hooked me up with a wristband, although hours later, I find out I’m supposed to have a badge and later come back and grab one of those. Once I’m in the con, I take a peek at the jousting ring or as they called it, the second pit. I do the walk through artist alley and after talking to some vendors, people were telling me they made back their table fee in just a couple hours. I buy far too much shit (pictured below) for other people, a handful of stuff for myself and take a look around the rest of the venue. I notice the ball pit but see there’s a wait for it. I tell myself I’ll come back for it but spoiler alert, I do not ever get to be in the ball pit.

During (on shift)

I come upstairs to a mild tech issue -a con classic- but I’m not able to do anything because due to some unforeseen circumstances, I end up hosting the drag show. But hey, give a man with a background in entertainment and music and I can make a crowd hype. There’s a couple hiccups -costuming issues with a couple of the performers, audio stuff, slight issues with the script but nothing anyone can see because I’m handling shit like a champ- though thankfully it goes incredibly well. It’s a packed room.

(Unfortunately tumblr won’t allow me to put more than one video in here but there will be a post featuring all of the insanely talented performers momentarily)

After the drag show, I head up to panels. The AM lead is still there and indicates they want to continue through til the end of the panel, which hey, fine by me. We’ve got some people tech downstairs who report to us but don’t have someone readily accessible if they need us so I head down there and help out. The catch? It’s the closing ceremony and the ball, essentially a dance party. We’ve got a full operational sound system and people operating it. So my job? Very chill, I joke it was more vibe curation and comfort levels than anything else.

There’s a medical issue that happens while I’m away and nobody knows exactly what happened. Thankfully medical folks were able to get in and assist them. I just instructed people to go a certain way and give people the space they need to help the injured guest. Once that situation is handled, we opened the section of the room back up because the party never stops!

After

I check in with the other panel leader and they’ve cleared nearly all the rooms so I head downstairs and help pack up the ball pit and clear out one of the rooms. I’m kind of just wherever the organizers need me when I ask them. I’m cleaning and moving things back to where they’re supposed to. When all is said and done, we clear out the venue and grab some pizza. I ended up meeting some folks who play actually play Mahjong so we’ve got vague plans to play sometime!

Overall + Greatest Hits

I’d like to personally shoutout the person who took pictures of me on their 3DS, the person who was a ball pit eBay listing who gave me a sticker, the person holding a Mop 2016 sign, all the incredible drag performers, the folks in artist alley that I got to geek out about Splatoon with, anyone who recognized me from my semi-popular original blog a decade ago despite my name and gender change, the entire dashcon 2 team (Avis, Simone, Oz and everyone I’m blanking on right now) and all the dope volunteers I got to know. Let’s meet back up in the pit for Dashcon 2 Two: 2 Fast 2 Furious.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Joseph Cox’s “Dark Wire”

NEXT WEEKEND (June 7–9), I'm in AMHERST, NEW YORK to keynote the 25th Annual Media Ecology Association Convention and accept the Neil Postman Award for Career Achievement in Public Intellectual Activity.

No one was better positioned to tell the tale of the largest sting operation in world history than veteran tech reporter Joseph Cox, and tell it he did, in Dark Wire, released today:

https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/joseph-cox/dark-wire/9781541702691/

Cox – who was one of Motherboard's star cybersecurity reporters before leaving to co-found 404 Media – has spent years on the crimephone beat, tracking vendors who sold modded phones (first Blackberries, then Android phones) to criminal syndicates with the promise that they couldn't be wiretapped by law-enforcement.

It's possible that some of these phones were secure over long timescales, but all the ones we know about are ones that law enforcement eventually caught up with, usually by capturing the company's top founders explicitly stating that the phones were sold to assist in the commission of crimes, and admitting to remote-wiping phones to obstruct law-enforcement options. It's hard to prove intent but it gets a lot easier when the criminal puts that intent into writing (that's true of tech executives, too!):

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/03/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself/

But after a particularly spectacular bust landed one of the top crimephone sales reps in the FBI's power, they got a genuinely weird idea: why not start their own crimephone company?

The plan was to build an incredibly secure, best-of-breed crimephone, one with every feature that a criminal would want to truly insulate themselves from law enforcement while still offering everything a criminal could need to plan and execute crimes.

They would tap into the network of crimephone distributors around the world, not telling them who they were truly selling for – nor that every one of these phones had a back-door that allowed law-enforcement to access every single message, photo and file.

This is the beginning of an incredible tale that is really two incredible tales. The first is the story of the FBI and its partners as they scaled up Anom, their best-of-breed crimephone business. This is a (nearly) classic startup tale, full of all-nighters, heroic battles against the odds, and the terror and exhilaration of "hockey-stick" growth.

The difference between this startup and the others we're already familiar with is obvious: the FBI and its global partners are acting under a totally different set of constraints to normal startup founders. For one thing, their true mission and identity must be kept totally secret. For another, they have to navigate the bureaucratic barriers of not one, but many governments and their courts, constitutions and procedures.

Finally, there are the stakes: while the bulk of the crimes that the FBI targets with Anom are just the usual futile war-on-drugs nonsense (albeit at a never-before seen scale), they also routinely encounter murders, kidnappings, tortures, firebombings, and other serious crimes, either in the planning phase, or after they have been committed. They have to make moment-to-moment calls about when and whether to do something about these, as each action taken based on intercepts from Anom threatens to tip the FBI's hand.

That's one of the startup stories in Cox's book. The other one is the crime startup, the one that the hapless criminal syndicates that sign up to distribute Anom devices find themselves in the middle of. They, too, are experiencing hockey-stick growth. They, too, have a fantastically lucrative tiger by the tail. And they, too, have a unique set of challenges that make this startup different from any other.

The obvious difference is that they are involved in global criminal conspiracies. They have to both grow and remain hidden. The tradecraft and skullduggery are fascinating, in the manner of any great crime procedural tale. But there's another constraint: these criminals are competing with one another to corner the market on these incredibly lucrative phones. Being part of violent, global criminal conspiracies, they don't confine themselves to the normal Silicon Valley crimes of violating antitrust law – they are engaged in all-out warfare.

These two startups are, of course, the same startup, but only one side knows it. As Cox weaves these two tales together – along with glimpses into the lives of the hapless gig-work developers in Asia who are developing and maintaining the Anom platform – we get front seat in a series of high-speed, high-stakes near-collisions between these two groups.

And it's not always the cops who have the advantage. When an ambitious mobster figures out how to clone the "black boxes" that initialize new Anom phones, the FBI are caught flatfooted as the number of Anom devices in the hands of criminals balloons, producing a volume of intercepts that vastly exceeds their processing capacity.

Cox has been on this story for a decade, and it shows. He has impeccable sourcing and encyclopedic access to the court records and other public details that allow him to reproduce many of the most dramatic scenes in the Anom caper verbatim. This really shines in the final section of the book, when the FBI and its partners decide to roll up the company with a series of global arrests that culminate in a triumphant press-conference in which the true masters of Anom are revealed.

As a privacy and encryption advocate, there were moments in this story that made me a little uncomfortable. There are places where the FBI is chafing at the constitutional limits on its surveillance powers where we can't help buy sympathize with these "good guys" going after "bad guys." But this the the FBI, a lawless, unaccountable secret police who routinely bypass those limits by secretly buying data from sleazy data-brokers, or illegally sharing data with the NSA.

The conclusion really hammers home the point that the FBI's problem isn't constitutional niceties. Despite seizing hundreds of tons of illegal drugs and arresting thousands of high-ranking criminal syndicate bosses, Anom made no difference in the drug trade. Prohibition, after all, just makes criminals more wealthy and powerful. The Anom raids were, at worst, the cost of doing business – and at best, they were a global reset that cleared the board of established actors so that other criminals could seize their turf.

But even though Anom didn't triumph over crime, Dark Wire is a triumph. The book's out today, and there will shortly be a Netflix adaptation based on it, directed by Jason Bateman:

https://deadline.com/2022/09/jason-bateman-netflix-21-laps-dark-wire-surveillance-gangs-movie-1235130444/

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/04/anom-nom-nom/the-call-is-coming-from-inside-the-ndrangheta

[khanger]

@rhubarbspring @jehadism

[nikito0x]

HuaLian but it's Mulan, Part 2

--

While Xie Lian was out there, in the frozen landscapes, getting kidnapped, lost, scammed, guilt tripped by old ladies to help them with their farm, mistaken for a Jiangshi after accidentally walking barefoot in poison ivy, chased by a boar, chased by a deer, chased by another boar, and getting worshipped as a God because the people of that village were convinced he made the flowers bloom with his arrival... What was Hua Cheng doing?

--

Hua Cheng, now a nobleman with a significant amount of power and people under his command, isn't getting any closer to finding Taizi Dianxia even after two years of relentless searching.

Deciding to finally take a step back and see if he isn't missing anything obvious by being so hyper focused on the outside, he decides to look at any internal affairs he might be overlooking.

And wouldn't you know it? There is, in fact, something significant he had missed.

Thirty-five Palace officials. Thirty-five, conspiring against his Dianxia. Oh, that is so not going to fly.

What do you mean the mission assigned to his highness was always meant to end with failure!? Did General Jun Wu truly, purposefully assign that region to his highness while knowing about the army awaiting on the other side of that hill for Dianxia!?

Well... The reports suggest he had no idea about it, unlike 33 out of the 35 officials who managed to get his Highness assigned there, but it all seems entirely too convenient to Hua Cheng... He will have to keep an eye on Jun Wu.

But for now...

Why, exactly, were those 33 officials conspiring against Xie Lian?

After some research, Hua Cheng finds that they are under the impression that Qi Rong would be a better candidate for the throne as his current values align more with theirs and their greedy hands. The bastards.

Hua Cheng is going to ruin them so completely and utterly, not even the gods would be willing to go against him to help them.

--

Hua Cheng utterly destroys the thirty-three officials. He ruins their reputation, airs out their dirty dealings and overtakes each of their territories and turns them into his own. Too bad the other two decided to keep their heads down. Hua Cheng would have enjoyed ruining the Prince's two old guards like nothing else. Ah, well. He will have to find other ways to torture the traitors. But that can wait for now.

As he gains access to the ex-officials' personal records and staff, Hua Cheng realizes that the initial plan was to discredit Dianxia by sacrificing some territory to the enemy. Xie Lian wasn't supposed to die. He was supposed to fail.

They wanted him to face the army, order a retreat and come back home disgraced. So much so, China would demand a new successor.

In reality, the way the battle actually ended was far worse for the fools. Now every new heir would be scrutinized and disliked because Xie Lian had raised the bar so high.

He was kind to his people, treated everyone as equals, was more skilled with a blade than any other and sacrificed his life for China.

Truly, making Qi Rong the new heir must have taken more effort than it would have to move a mountain.

That done, Hua Cheng returns back to his original goal - finding his Highness.

--

Hua Cheng thinks of ways to ruin Qi Rong's popularity campaign while strolling through his market, checking if everything is in order.

He has to wear a disguise for it, unless he wishes to see an unrealistic, perfect version of the place the vendors would try to sell him. No, he needs to know the truth.

After taking down those 33 officials, he has gained a certain type of reputation. Reputation, he would like to keep.

And so, there he is, strolling through the market when something uncharacteristically bright for it catches his eye. White clothing... Is that... A daozhang?

Something makes him go and check for himself. It's a feeling. A familiar feeling.

He is only a few steps away from the stall when he finally sees the features of that person. A face he would recognize anywhere. The features he had carved into stone.

It was his beloved, Taizi Dianxia!

--

TBC

Part 1, Part 2

[love-and-deepspace-wiki]

Linkon Online

Type: Immersive, holographic videogame

Developer: Planet Lab Game Studio

Details:

"Linkon Online" is an upcoming videogame soon to be released by Planet Lab. It differs from Adventure Above Clouds (a past Planet Lab release) in terms of gameplay, categorizing them in different genres.

"Linkon Online" is a fully immersive, holographic videogame that is played via hologram headset. The game is set in Linkon City and features a highly detailed portrayal of everyday life: streetlights, traffic, streams of people, weather and sunlight variations, dust particles floating in the air

In "World Underneath: Linkon Online", we learn that it has not yet been released to the public. But at that time, "Linkon Online" had gone through various internal optimization release versions (v1.2.0, v1.3.1, and v1.4.2) and was due for its second beta test.

Gameplay:

In the game, players are referred to as "Linkon City Citizens" and are represented by in-game chibi characters. Through the game's Career System, players can work in various in-game roles/professions. Confirmed professions include Deepspace Hunter, Planet Lab Game QA Specialist, university president, and noodle vendor. In addition to in-game careers, players can utilize the game's Dynamic Quest System to complete main quests (which appear in an upper-left quest panel) and optional side quests. In this system, NPC behavior no longer relies on player choices done in a single instance. Instead, it adapts to patterns and past inputs of the interactions.

Deepspace Hunter Profession:

When playing as a hunter, the game's haptic feedback feature cannot be disabled (causing combat hits to "hurt like hell").

In the version v1.4.2 update, the [Hunter] combat system was optimized for greater immersion. To that end, they removed the [HP bar] above [Wanderers] and stopped showing damage as [Numbers].

Noodle Vendor:

The noodle vendor has the ability to remember the preferences of some of their regular customers.

QA Specialist Profession:

In the QA Specialist profession, players complete an interview with Planet Lab. If successful, they then report to the company to complete two in-game tasks: completing the company orientation training and reading the company guidelines. In the orientation room, the player interacts with a "Team Lead" character who will prompt them to share their "career aspirations". A microphone will hover near the player's mouth and their response will appear as text above their in-game character's head.

This profession involves doing countless quality assurance sessions and feedback reports. To resolve crucial issues that could make or break a game, the players must identify potential problems like lag, crashes, or clunky controls.

Features:

An interface that functions via quest windows and dialogue boxes. In the upper left of the player's perspective, a beam of particles carve out a floating panel, shimmering cyan patterns form a semi-translucent grid, and tiny glowing dots flicker and transform into text as each piece of information appears.

A Stock Market System (now optimized so that citizens can no longer preview 15 days of price changes before buying).

Various in-game interactions which include [Just One Taste] in the [Cooking] action, [Pinch] for popping [Bubble Wrap] in packages, [Wash Bangs Only] in the [Personal Hygiene System], and [Lick Metal Pole] (which may cause your character's tongue to be stuck to the pole if weather is below -5° C).

When using the [Restroom] feature, characters couldn't use their phones in-game

When a player sleeps in-game, a series of Z's will float above their head.

When speaking in-game, the player's statements appear as overhead text. The player's tone and emotion are portrayed through font size and text animation.

When an elevator's overloaded alarm sounds, in-game logic functions such that exiting and reentering has a chance to let you use it successfully.

[gantengpermanen]

how to create custom USB HID Device w/ USB HID Vendor Feature report for WEMOS Lolin S2 Mini WebHID API Live Demo Example data exchange (USB Host - USB Client): https://webhidvendor.blogspot.com/ WEMOS Lolin S2 Mini Custom USB HID - WebHID API Live Demo Example Web Interface ESP32 Arduino Core

[vaestro]

RAM 6.1 - Public Enemy

Translated by: Vaestro

RAM 6 Masterlist

✝ Prologue

Have you found me, O my enemy? – 1 Kings 21:20

The word "ring" referred to the ring road which encircled the center of Vienna, the former capital of the now-defunct Duchy of Ostmark.

The boulevard was constructed after the ancient city walls were dismantled. Various government offices, major trading companies, media outlets and cafés lined the streets like jewels on a lady's ring. On weekdays, the place bustled with government officials, workers and vendors catering to them. On weekends, however, it was a different story.

"Hmm, it seems there's no one inside. I suppose it's an off day after all, Hugue."

Even in Germanicus, where there were many workaholics, Sunday was technically a day of rest. The main street was deserted and the classy café had no other customers other than the priest duo occupying the front window seats. Diagonally opposite the café, a long, narrow building sandwiched between other buildings on either side, was no exception.

There was something oddly intimidating about that building.

Its decorative walls, which imitated the neoclassical style, were bleak and resembled the lair of an evil wizard in fairytales. Countless windows on its walls stared down on the street like vacant eyes.

After confirming that all the windows had their blinds drawn with his binoculars, Abel Nightroad reverted his attention to his companion before him who was reading a newspaper.

"Well, it's Sunday so it makes sense that no one's there… But, this is their stronghold after all. I can't imagine they would leave the building completely unattended."

"The address is correct. Kärntner Straße 3/24 — according to Cherubim's information."

In contrast to the priest, who was muttering leisurely, a gloomy shadow hung over the blond young man's face.

Under his wavy hair, his northern facial features were as well-chiseled as a classical sculpture, but his pale green eyes burned with a dark flame. Father Hugue de Watteau, a handsome man with a melancholic aura, cast a somber gaze towards the building in question and spoke with a voice that resembled a hellhound.

"Furthermore, preliminary investigation confirmed that people associated with the Neue Vatican had paid frequent visits to that building. No, they were not the only ones who had been making contact. The Erin Independence Alliance, the Clermont Preachers, the Camorra Vendina family, the Mithraic Cult… It's like a trade fair for heretical societies and terrorist organizations. There's no doubt about it. The Einherjar Chamber of Commerce is a cover for the Orden."

“I don't think you should jump to conclusions, Hugue."

Abel shook his head in a rare admonishing manner. He threw a damper on the enthusiasm of his companion who was on the verge of leaving his seat to enter the building at any moment.

"Tres and the others will be joining us tonight. We should wait for them before we make a move, it's still not too late by then. After all, this is Germanicus. We best act with caution."

"Especially at a time like this when the king is in Vienna… I know, Abel. I wouldn't go in alone either."

Tapping a slender finger on the newspaper article that reported the visit of Ludwig II, King of Germanicus — also known as the "Tyrant King" — in Vienna, Hugue twisted his lips as if mocking his own incompetence. However, even with that expression on his face, the priest from the north was still breathtakingly beautiful. He sighed wistfully at the waitresses who were admiring his profile in awe and with a hint of suspicion since it was unusual for two men to come to a café like this on an off day.

"But even now, master[1] is stuck in the intensive care unit with a 50/50 chance of survival. Even if he does survive, there is a possibility that he'll be left with some kind of disability... Abel, I can never forgive them..."

"I understand how you feel. No, I feel the same..." Abel heaved a deep sigh as he stirred the red liquid that had once been tea but had now turned into a gel-like "something" after thirteen spoonsful of sugar were added.

A week ago, simultaneous attacks struck both Milan and Rome, resulting in many casualties. One of the incidents — officially reported to have been perpetrated by the remnants of the Neue Vatican — nearly took the life of Caterina, the Minister of Holy Affairs. Although the worst-case scenario had somehow been averted, Alfonso d’Este, who was a key witness, had died. The severely injured "Professor" was still in the intensive care unit in Rome and his condition an uncertainty.

The only ray of hope that could be grasped amidst the disaster was identifying the place that seemed to be "their[2]" base of operations. It was a great accomplishment for the AX since that organization's true nature was barely known apart from the name "Orden". There were no clues as well, up until now. It was no wonder that Caterina, who was currently in Rome, was thrilled to learn that they were in Vienna.

However, the most beautiful cardinal in the world was also the most cautious strategist. It could be a desinformation[3]. Germanicus was already a problematic military nation and Vienna was the former capital of the Duchy of Ostmark which had been destroyed by Germanicus sixteen years ago. To assign a large number of personnel to such a place could, at worst, cause a diplomatic issue. With that in mind, only deputy enforcers[4] were dispatched to Vienna for now.

"So, Abel... How long do we have to stay like this?"

The swordsman tilted his head as he methodically unfolded the social section of the newspaper.

"The King of Germanicus will be staying in the city for another three weeks. I understand that we need to move cautiously, but if we wait for that long, we might end up giving them a chance to escape. Shouldn’t we do something before that happens?"

"No, I don’t think we need to wait for weeks."

Abel shook his head in a particularly optimistic manner in response to his pessimistic colleague. He recounted the latest information he had received when he left Milan this morning.

"Well, it seems Tres, who is heading our way, has somehow obtained a microchip containing this country's state secrets."

"State secrets? Germanicus'?"

"Yes, apparently it contains an order from His Majesty King Ludwig to establish a new intelligence agency. In exchange for returning the microchip, we will request tacit consent for our activities in Vienna — that is Caterina's plan."

"I see... So that's why you deliberately timed our meeting with Father Iqus and the others tonight to coincide with the king’s schedule."

Hugue flicked his long fingers at the newspaper article that reported the king will be gracing the opera house with his presence tonight. However, he was probably already envisioning the moment of revenge in his mind. His green eyes, which were gazing out the window, flickered with murderous intent.

The streets were deserted. Only a few homeless people could be seen rummaging through trash bins on the corners of the main street. At this rate, no one should be around by midnight. All that was left for the priest duo to do was to make arrangements with the authorities. If things should escalate into a big commotion, they wouldn't have to worry about collateral damage. That was their plan.

"Huh?"

Abel suddenly frowned.

He heard voices that sounded like an argument coming from a corner of the street. No, it was a one-sided, intimidating shout. He turned his gaze in that direction and saw a shabby figure pushing a cart — a homeless man who had been rummaging through the trash bins in front of the Einherjar Chamber of Commerce — surrounded by several burly men who resembled ferocious thugs. Abel had no idea what the problem was but they were pushing the homeless man around and kicking the cart he was pulling. 

"Oh, that looks like trouble."

They were probably fighting over something stupid like the cart had hit them, for example. The homeless man, on the other hand, had a hood that covered his head completely so Abel couldn't see his appearance very well, but he was petite and delicate-looking, so it seemed impossible for him to escape those men.

The silver-haired priest knew he should help, but he didn’t want to get into trouble. Not here, not now.

"Well, I'm at a loss. What should we do, Hugue... Huh? Hugue?"

Abel shifted his attention back to speak with the person in front of him and involuntarily uttered a cry. On the table was a neatly folded newspaper and a steaming mug of schwarz[5], but the swordsman's melancholic face was nowhere to be seen. Abel searched his surroundings in panic and spotted the swordsman who had somehow exited the café, and was now striding towards the source of the commotion.

"T-This is bad... Oh, excuse me, may I have the bill please? And a receipt. If possible, please leave the amount column blank."

By the time Abel managed to pay the bill and rush out of the café, his companion had already reached the battlefield. The blond priest called out to the tall man who stood a little further away from the group who was still harassing the homeless man.

"Hey, you there."

"Hm?"

The tall man's lips curled in disgust and that was his final word — the grey metal rod in Hugue's hand moved at lightning speed, and as the man turned around, it gently prodded him in the solar plexus. That was all it took. The unfortunate man collapsed, his eyes rolling back in his skull.

"W-Who the hell are you?!"

"It doesn't matter who I am. Stay away from that person."

The bulky man who seemed to be the leader spat at him, but the swordsman quietly but firmly ordered and twirled the metal rod in his palm. Startled, the men took a step back and the priest spoke again in his usual gloomy tone.

"It's unmanly to gang up and subdue a defenseless person... If you have even the slightest bit of shame, then you should just disappear."

"D-Disappear?!"

At first, the men were shocked at the disgrace of their comrade who had gotten himself defeated so easily, but they soon remembered they had a numerical advantage. They glared at the arrogant, handsome man and the silver-haired priest who had finally caught up to him with a receipt clutched in his hand.

"You bastards! Are you two civilians trying to get in our way?! We won't show you any mercy even if you're a priest!"

"Civilians? N-No, are they low-ranking government officials?!"

Abel’s face blanched at the men's words. So, were these thug-like men soldiers? No, there was something odd about them.

"I see! Could these guys be... H-Hugue, no!"

Abel attempted to stop his colleague but he was a second too late. The metal rod swung horizontally and swept away the legs of the man who was trying to seize the blond priest. The slightly overweight victim thrashed about and screamed loudly. Another man who tried to attack from the side was knocked back by a swift kick that hit him squarely in the jaw. He stumbled heavily backwards and collided into the homeless man's cart which had been repositioned a little further away from the center of the commotion.

"Huh?!"

The very next moment, Abel pushed up his round glasses and gasped.

It wasn't because the victim had fallen in a strange manner, or because he was surprised to see a young woman's face under the homeless man’s hood which had been thrown back amidst dodging.

His eyes were drawn to the contents that had rolled out of the overturned cart on the stone pavement — an object made out of five or six other long, thin, cylindrical objects. At first glance, the short threads sticking out from the ends of the cylinders reminded him of candles, but of course, it was nothing that idyllic.

"Dy-Dy-Dy-Dynamite?!"

"Don’t move!"

Abel's eyes widened at the same time the woman pulled out a black shiny lump of iron from under her patched coat. The lump of metal, composed of curves and straight lines — the bolt of a small crude submachine gun — was released as she continued to scream.

"Everyone, please don’t move! If you move-"

"Hah!"

If she was left unchecked, her trembling fingers might have pulled the trigger, resulting in several casualties, but that was not the case. Hugue, whose back had been turned to her, drew a quick breath and swung his metal rod. His rod-handling technique made it look as if he had eyes on the back of his head as he knocked the submachine gun away and high up into the air.

"Nice one, Hugue!"

Abel praised his colleague's miraculous feat as he caught the falling firearm with unsteady hands.

Why would a homeless person be carrying something as dangerous as a dynamite and a submachine gun? Even if Germanicus was a warlike military nation, surely it wasn't that? It didn't seem like they were planning on starting a territorial war...

The answer to Abel's doubts was given moments later by a deep man’s voice and the stamping sound of countless pairs of military boots.

"All right, that’s enough! Give up, terrorists!"

A man bellowed and several figures came rushing out from the alleyways.

Their grey uniforms and bowl-shaped helmets with a bulge on the back of their heads were unmistakably those of the Germanic army, as were the rifles and military submachine guns in their hands. Why were they here though? And what about terrorists?

"You are the leader of the Resistance 'Edelweiss', Waltraute vön Donitz, and her members, correct?"

One of the thugs who had been knocked down by Hugue groaned in a gruff voice. He dragged his injured leg in pain as he rose to his feet, then changed his rough tone to that of a stiff military man before introducing himself.

"We are from the Ostmark Regiment of the Gendarmerie[6] Corps of Germanicus. Daughter of Baron Donitz, you are under arrest for attempted assassination of the king."

"Resistance?! Attempted assassination?!"

While Abel goggled in shock, the thugs — or rather, those pretending to be thugs — pulled out handcuffs and ID cards. As much as Abel wanted to escape, the soldiers around him had the muzzle of their guns pointed at him and refused to budge. The priest let out a shriek of protest.

"N-no, that has nothing to do with us — we were just trying to save an unfortunate woman who was being harassed! We are nice guys who just happen to be passing by! We have nothing to do with the Resistance, or assassination, or anything like that!"

"Shut up! We know you've been hanging around the Einherjar Chamber of Commerce since this morning! Why would mere priests do that? That organization is notoriously known as an arms smuggling organization that supports the defeated soldiers of Ostmark, 'Edelweiss' included! Don’t make such a pathetic excuse!"

"The priest speaks the truth."

A low feminine voice rebuked the gendarmerie officer who was trying to knock Abel down. The homeless woman, with her hands handcuffed behind her back, groaned as if in resignation.

"I have never seen their faces in the organization before and I don't know anything about the Einherjar Chamber of Commerce. I got these explosives elsewhere."

"Hah! What a stupid excuse!"

The woman's defense only seemed to further solidify the gendarmerie officer's suspicions. His stern face, like that of a military hound, contorted in hatred and he jerked his chin at the three of them.

"We found out that the organization has been selling you weapons and ammunition in secret. They also disguised the delivery as junk scraps... and then Denitz, you showed up. These priests are your bodyguards, aren’t they?"

"I have no idea what you're blabbering about."

After a brief moment of silence, the woman shook her head. She was likely in her mid-twenties. Apart from her slightly close-set eyes, she was quite pretty and her beauty exuded aristocratic elegance. The woman was no mere commoner.

"Besides, there are many remaining retainers of Ostmark in Vienna who bear a grudge against Germanicus. We don't need the help of these unreliable priests." She retorted stubbornly.

"That's your ploy... You probably assumed we’d let our guard down around these guys who seemed hopeless and weak but you're wrong! We'll use all our strength to take down even the most helpless of opponents. We will never let our guard down."

The gendarmerie officer then turned his cold eyes at the priests and issued a command to the armed soldiers on alert.

"All right, arrest these men and escort them to the gendarmerie headquarters! I'll interrogate them thoroughly later. Then, the rest of you, follow me. We're going to search the Einherjar Chamber of Commerce's building. All those who dare oppose His Majesty the King and any remaining people in the building are to be arrested!”

"Jawohl[7]!"

The soldiers saluted in unison, like precision machinery, and began to move at once. They split themselves into squads of about ten and surrounded the gloomy building on all sides. A number of them went to the back door as well. They all looked like knights who were about to set the wizard’s tower ablaze.

"Wait a second, this has gotten out of hand, hasn't it..."

Partially taken aback, Abel sighed. As he slowly backed away from the soldiers who were slowly approaching him with handcuffs in their hands, he whispered to his colleague whose green eyes were shining beside him.

"What's wrong, Hugue? We can’t possibly escape from this many people."

"Not really."

Shaking his head sullenly, the swordsman narrowed his eyes as he examined the number of soldiers surrounding them as well as their equipment.

"An escape is still feasible at this level but if we do that, our audience with the king tonight... Hm?"

Hugue who had been grumbling gloomily suddenly paused. His expression hardened and he lifted his head skywards like a hound who had heard a dog whistle.

"Something the matter, Hugue? You’ve got a strange look on your face... Is something bothering you?"

"No, did you not hear something just now? It sounded like an organ..."

"A sound?"

Abel looked doubtful again upon hearing the swordsman's words. It was a warm, spring day with the blue afternoon sky stretching overhead. If it weren't for the swarm of unrefined armed men surrounding them, it was the kind of weather that would make him want to skip work and go on a picnic. However, there was no sound of an organ anywhere.

"No, I don’t hear anything..."

"I see. I was just imaging it then... Wait what's that sound?!"

Hugue asked again. This time, the "sound" had certainly reached Abel’s ears. It was a deep rumble reminiscent of distant thunder, but it wasn't that. The sound was coming from beneath their feet.

"W-What is this? An earthquake?!"

"W-What... What’s going on?!"

It appeared that the priests were not the only ones who heard the "sound". Cries of shock arose from the handcuffed woman and the soldiers on the other side. They could clearly feel the swirling airflow on their faces. An unpleasant wind that made everyone present nauseous churned, then swelled into a tide, and poured into one place. What laid ahead was-

"H-Hey, look at that!"

The two priests instinctively raised their heads when they heard screams from the soldiers and gasped.

A roar comparable to that of an avalanche and a massive cloud of dust erupted before their eyes. No, that wasn't all. Behind the screen of white dust, the outline of the silhouette of a tall building was slowly distorting. It looked as though a pillar of salt was crumbling.

"T-The Einherjar Chamber of Commerce..."

As the giant shadow collapsed like a rotting tree, Abel could only gape in consternation.

✝ End of Prologue

[1] Referring to Dr. William Walter Wordsworth. [2] Referring to the Rosencreutz Orden. [3] "Disinformation" in German. I'm keeping this intact instead of swapping it to English because it is intended to be read this way according to the written Furigana. [4] Referring to AX agents. [5] Written as black mocha but the Furigana reads schwarz. I believe it means "black" in German and in this context, it refers to black coffee that has no added milk/sugar. [6] The written Furigana for this is "Militärpolizei" which is the German word for "Military Police". I'll be using just "Gendarmerie" for my translations. [7] Here, it means "Yes, sir!" in German. Jawohl is a stronger word than ja and is usually used in a military context as an affirmative answer to an order.

[physalian]

IngramSpark: Good or Nah?

I decided to work with them last minute to set my book up for success, and, in case they screwed me over, I could hate them in a properly informed manner.

So!

IngramSpark (IGS) vs. Amazon (KDP) so far: A detailed comparison.

Spoiler Alert: FUCK INGRAMSPARK

Alrighty these are two proof copies (author copies) of the exact same book made with the exact same PDFs. IGS is on the left in all pics.

Stuff to note:

The IGS copy is slightly greener, the purple is less vibrant. KDP made the exact colors I painted this with in photoshop.

The KDP book is slightly thicker and while the spine print is slightly off center, the front cover is perfectly centered. Compare both of the lower moons on the right side and it's very obvious that IGS cut theirs incorrectly. It's cut incorrectly because their paper is thinner, thus needing a slightly narrower print PDF (which isn't something they would tell you).

KDP is slightly thicker because they used thicker paper. Theirs is less polished creme, you can feel more of a grain of the pages, but because they're thicker, they're less transparent. I can read straight through to not only the back of the title page, but straight onto the next piece of paper for the IGS copy, and theirs cost more to print.

KDP shipped in lighter packaging, which meant my copy got a little banged up as opposed to the cardboard coffin the IGS book was in. Pick your poison.

KDP

PROS

A breeze to work with in most areas. I did not need to use customer service, so I can’t comment on that, but I’ve heard it’s superior to IGS in every way. They do have a community chat that I have used when confused (more below) and pages upon pages of how-to resources.

Simple user interface, very easy to click through all the set-up menus and not once did it freeze or crash on me (more below).

Did not use their formatter or cover generator, I used Adobe and did my own so I can’t comment on their quality.

Their “print previewer” was fantastic. I could click through the whole book and they explained very thoroughly where some issues were and what I should look out for and they let me use my own files without issue instead of having to build them in the platform.

Their royalty rate is the best you can get in this industry, because they’re not selling to anyone but themselves so there’s no middle man taking a cut of the profit.

Print quality of the book itself is fantastic. Only thing I miss is the ability to emboss, but no print-on-demand company does that as far as I’m aware. The colors were an exact match to my design in Adobe, I have no complaints.

Instant reports and near-live report refreshes for ebooks. Print copies don’t register on reports until the book ships, but Amazon prints and ships within ~2 days.

Because it’s Amazon, even though proof copies aren’t applicable with Prime, my copy still got here in 5 days including print time. My print copy totaled the print cost plus $3 in standard shipping that I could have rushed.

It did get a little banged up on the bottom but I think that was during shipping not at the printing press.

If you’re really strapped for cash, they do offer free ISBNs *but these are KDP only ISBNs, you don’t own them, and they are non transferable between vendors and POD companies. Bite the bullet and just save up for your own ISBNs and buy them in bulk if you can and you plan on publishing at least 2 books in your lifetime (like a paperback and hardcover of the same book, even).

After I submitted my ebook for preorder, I kept finding little details to fix and lines I wasn’t happy with that got nixed at the 11th hour. Updating this was seamless and free and the updated versions were processed within 6 hours or so. Amazon did not lock in the files to the date the preorders were set like IngramSpark would have.

CONS

They still don’t have paperback preorder, but they do have a feature where you can submit for a future release, which is just giving your files over to go live on a set date. Thing is: When you get to the end of the setup, there’s a button that says something like “submit for publication” which does not actually mean “move your publication date to right now” like I thought. So I missed my paperback date by 2 days.

Their proof copy has that annoying grey “Not for Resale” stripe across the cover so it looks wonky in marketing images.

They have a “cover art size calculator” feature, which did not line up with the actual file size I needed come submission time, off by a few millimeters. Which meant resizing in Photoshop and it was incredibly annoying and tedious.

Upon finally hitting the “publish” button Amazon flagged my book and told me to fix the highlighted errors. Well there were no highlighted errors, and said error(s) could be anywhere across four pages of details. I had to consult the community notes to figure out what they were talking about (it was an ISBN issue) which was quite annoying.

IGS

PROS

Well-known as the best print-on-demand (POD) company with the widest reach, including Amazon, for expanded distribution. (NOT IN MY EXPERIENCE)

Also well-known as the highest quality self-publish paperback, that still doesn’t do embossing. (NOT IN MY EXPERIENCE)

They do paperback preorders (which I did not participate in).

Integrates flawlessly with libraries and retailers that Amazon won’t do (which is about its only claim to superiority). My book was searchable on Barnes & Noble within 48 hours.

IGS, like KDP, has free ISBNs (US only), with the exact same non-transferable issue. However, because they integrate across all sellers, Amazon included, if you only intend to work with them, you’ve reached every market anyway.

CONS

Their royalty rate sucks ass. I had to price my book $1 higher through IGS because I was literally at a deficit with all the printing costs and vendor discounts (so if you want my book for slightly cheaper, buy it through Amazon). Through IGS, I think I’m making about $1 in royalties, when all is said and done. And I’ve heard, shockingly, that that’s pretty good.

I didn’t try to use their customer service because I know it’s notoriously terrible. But it would have been helpful when their website crashed.

Their website crashed on me three times when trying to upload my files. Before it crashed, their “submit files” button simply did not work, so I had to go the roundabout way through their formatter and cover wizard (which I didn’t like) which then told me my 300DPI cover art was too small. The exact same file I submitted and had in my hands at perfect resolution to Amazon. It took almost 2 hours of running around in circles on their site to essentially start from scratch to get this up and running—and I did all of this with polished files from the get go because I knew revisions would be tedious. Can’t imagine the hassle if you aren’t ready to go immediately (this is why I didn't do a preorder with them).

I have heard that if you make changes to your files, they don’t go into effect until the next month, meaning if you have typos, and anyone buys your book before the next calendar month despite you fixing them in the system, that person is still buying the old version. I have also heard that generating reports is not seamless. After 60 days, revisions also cost you $25 a pop (KDP is free).

If you submit pre-made PDFs for your manuscript and cover (as in, you don’t format or generate them within their system) they do not have an instant previewer. Mine took 48 hours to deliver a link, when that shit should be automated and instantaneous and should allow me to use my own files.

IGS does not have Amazon’s monopoly on shipping, so to get my book here at all quickly, it cost me almost $20, rush fees applied for only 1 day faster than Amazon did. “Quickly,” being I ordered the proof on the 24th, and it won’t get here until the 28th. Meaning, that if you’re not paying rush fees, you’d have to wait longer.

They can be quite confusing with revisions during the preorder process. Per their website, they can begin printing your book “generally” 30 days before go-live. Which means someone who preordered your book on the 3rd gets the version of the book that was available on the 3rd, even if you update it on the 5th, because they print those immediately, even if the book’s official release date of the 30th hasn’t passed. You’d pretty much have to be completely done with revisions before setting up for preorder with them to be absolutely sure, which means wasted time. I don’t know why they don’t just queue up the books to be printed on a hard deadline a few days before release.

So. While I hate that Amazon has a monopoly, about the only thing IGS has going for it is their expanded distribution when everything about their business, from their platform to their user experience to the actual quality of books is at best dead even with KDP, but in my experience with my best foot forward, IGS annoyingly inferior.

I don’t think they’ll remain the “best POD company” for very much longer. I did not do hardcover for ENNS as of this post so I can’t comment on either service’s print quality, only what I’ve seen in other reviews. Some people like the jacket-less print-on-the-cardboard look (Amazon), some people (me) like the jacket, if only so I can use it as a bookmark.

*I wrote the above paragraphs before getting my proof copy from IGS and fucking hell they're not even competent at printing

It is also a massive waste of paper and shipping resources to have to print multiple versions of proof copies fixing errors outside of my control. My proof copy from KDP is perfect. IGS? Nope! But they wouldn't let me properly preview it so I had no idea this would happen.

Even as a consumer who might hate the idea of giving Amazon more money, there’s an argument to consider: I totally understand the desire to keep brick and mortar stores afloat and I don’t want Amazon’s monopoly on the market to grow even larger. However, Amazon makes sure that you’re making more than pocket change on your book, unless you jack up the prices for readers on the back end so the whole thing costs more all the way down the pipeline. I refused to do this.

That deficit that forced me to price ENNS even $1 higher than Amazon really bothers me with IngramSpark. That deficit exists because of a higher print cost and a 55% discount given to vendors so they can still make their cut of profit from stocking your book. IngramSpark had me sit through a whole video saying “if you don’t do this no one will stock your book” while saying you could go as low as 54% but that might scare off vendors.

In essence, at this time, KDP makes sure that you, the creator, make money. IGS makes sure that they and the businesses selling your book for you make money. I didn’t do any of this for profit, but it does hurt seeing all your hard work, possibly years of effort, have a royalty of $0.87.

So, yeah, is IngramSpark worth it?

I don’t yet know what their reach will amount to. It’s a dream of mine to see my book on a bookstore shelf, but signing up with IGS does not guarantee you sales, it just guarantees you the best chance possible at reaching potential buyers. But at the moment, all it looks like to me is fees, a bad UI, cheap printing, arrogance from perceived superiority in the market, and a business built boldly in favor of its own profits.

Amazon’s a shady-ass corporation, but I’m going to have to say they’re the better bet. At the very least, for your first book when you don’t have an audience and if making a profit is important to you.

—

I did not try to use any other POD like Draft 2 Digital or Barnes & Noble Press, as I already have KDP and IGS is the best platform to integrate with KDP.

See here for the cost breakdown of my debut novel from draft to publication.

[greyias]

How are the Highwind's spending life day this year?

Well, now that you mention it... trying to finish their last minute shopping! I think it went a little something like this...

(In honor of my stupidest, annual Life Day tradition in-game. (1) (2) (3) featuring @grumpyhedgehog​‘s lovely Lyra Dorn)

There was a special place in the Void reserved for the kind of people who would force an innocent party into unpaid manual labor—actually, wasn’t there laws against that in the Republic? Draike Highwind briefly considered ratting out his stupid baby sister to the proper authorities for forcing him to play pack nerf for this stupid Life Day shopping trip, even if that was a karffing narc move. Deciding his honor was worth more than petty revenge, he squashed down the urge. For now.

He reluctantly trudged behind said baby sister, struggling to balance the weight of enough gifts to stock a small moon. He wasn’t sure if there was a gift here for every single person on Odessen, even the subcontractors that made brief fuel stops in the hangar bay, but from the way his shoulders ached from the strain, he wouldn’t count it out entirely.

Ahead of him, Grey almost seemed to bounce on her toes, a garish sight decked out in her ridiculous Life Day sweater. It was a red and green monstrosity, depicting what he thought might have been Wampas gleefully dancing across her chest. Possibly rampaging. It was hard to tell underneath the twinkling lights. He hadn’t realized Life Day sweaters now came electrified, but this one was lit up enough to guide a Star Destroyer in for a landing. If she got any more festive, she would probably combust into a shower of tinsel and holiday cheer.

It was almost a tempting enough thought for him to endure this torment for a few minutes longer. Almost.

She unfortunately fit right in with the rest of the Promenade here on Nar Shaddaa. While the garish statue of Karagga had been left alone in all of his gaudy, gilded glory, the rest of Lucent Square had been filled with gaudy decorations and festive revelers. Garlands draped haphazardly across vendor stalls, threatening to strangle unsuspecting shoppers, while some enterprising Hutt had decided to erect a towering holographic tree in the plaza. Its intangible branches featured tacky holographic ornaments of the Hutt crime lords who controlled this festive hellscape grinning at the shoppers spending all of their hard earned credits.

Humans, Rodians, and all sorts of other non-Wookiee species wandered about in Life Day robes, something Draike made a mental note to ask Bowdaar the level offensiveness and Wookiee cultural appropriation was happening here. At least, he was until he saw a group of actual Wookiee carolers nearby, the distant cries of them roaring their traditional Life Day songs making him grit his teeth.

He was a respectful captain, and would not compare the sound of his old crewmate’s beloved and deeply spiritual beliefs to grinding gears of a malfunctioning hyperdrive. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t secretly wishing that maybe the job on Nar Kreeta hadn’t actually made him go deaf.

However, that did not excuse the repurposed protocol droids wandering around the place, accosting everyone with good cheer. He thought he’d overheard someone referring to them as gift droids, but if they’d been giving out gifts willy-nilly, he hadn’t seen it. Just heard their tinny voices chirping holiday greetings to passersby as they waddled about, the lights on their chassis blinking in seizure-inducing patterns. One particularly enthusiastic model nearly clothes-lined a Rodian while flailing its arms as it attempted to distribute what may have been some sort of knock-off Life Day candy.

Perhaps that should have been reported to the health inspector, but again, that was another narc move.

“Remind me next year,” Draike muttered under his breath as the circulation to his fingers seemed to be cut off from the weight of presents, “to skip town for the holidays.”

No one seemed to pay attention to, or care, about his suffering.

He attempted to shift the mountain of packages, wincing as the corner of one of the larger boxes dug into his ribs, while ahead of him Grey consulted a datapad that contained an unnecessarily detailed shopping itinerary. If she vibrated with any more holiday cheer, she might phase out of reality soon. Which would at least spare his retinas from the dancing lights on her sweater. Her husband walked alongside her, not bothering to restrain his bride’s excess enthusiasm. Theron’s concession to the holiday spirit was limited to a thin, dark sweater that was barely visible beneath his trademark red jacket. The man’s stubborn refusal to be fully pulled into the Life Day spectacle was almost admirable. Although the tiny antlers carefully perched around his fauxhawk somewhat ruined that air of grumpy indifference.

Their “merry” band of shoppers was rounded out by none other than Lyra Dorn, his Jedi often co-conspirator who for some reason wasn’t trying to rescue Draike from any of this indignity. She was managing to look tastefully festive in a deep red coat with more understated golden embroidery, and a long green scarf with snowflakes on it, exuding the sense of “holiday spirit” without looking like without looking like she'd been attacked by a pack of festive Wampas with a penchant for glitter.

A group of revelers stumbled out of the Slippery Slopes Cantina, cheeks red with festive cheer and their Life Day robes stained with what he hoped was spilled ale, and not some more questionable bodily fluid. Although that would certainly liven up this overly saccharine excursion, come to think of it. And certainly scandalize the walking embodiment of Life Day cheer who still ambled on ahead of him.

He tried to not envy the revelers their drunken stupor too much as Grey waved Theron and Lyra toward yet another vendor stall. Her ridiculous sweater seemed to almost flash in sync with her movements, the lights on the dancing wampas twinkling like a secret attempt to induce a navigational error in a passing starship. Devilishly clever if true.

Draike heaved a sigh, the dramatic kind that carred the weight of a being long-suffering and ignored by his companions, and betrayed by life itself. He tried to rebalance the gift horde again, only for the pointy box to jab into his ribs anew, as if it had a grudge against him specifically.

“How many more?” he called out.

“Hmm?” Grey didn’t even look back over her shoulder.

“How many more stops do you want to torture us with? At this rate I’m going to need a kolto tank for my spine.”

Grey finally turned to look at him, her face alight not just from the sweater but also just an unnatural level of joy and cheerfulness. He didn’t trust it one bit.

“Just three more shops!” She bounced on her toes again as she checked her datapad. “I’ve got it mapped out here. We'll hit Gree's Galactic Gifts for something special for Ben, get him into the holiday spirit."

Their youngest brother, Ben, the lucky bastard, had somehow gotten out of this charade by claiming he needed to do some special intel op spying on the Hidden Chain with Rass Ordo. Draike wasn’t sure if he actually bought the excuse what with the way Ben and his Mandalorian buddy kept sneaking glances at each other, but was actively regretting that he’d not thought to look busy with things of galactic importance to be able to get out of this endeavor.

"I think you’re going to need more than a gift to accomplish that. Probably a Life Day miracle,” Draike grumbled. “I’m pretty sure Ben was born with those grumpy pants on.”

She seemed to either not hear him, or just ignore him. "And then we'll finish up at Devaronian Delights for some of those candied song-cherries for the girls. They’ll like that right?"

Well, Soli and Roz probably wouldn’t say no to it, but seeing as his kids were teenagers, they’d probably appreciate a credit chit just as much. But if correcting her on that extended his agony, he’d just let her be the lame aunt.

Instead, he staggered dramatically and let out a loud groan. "You know, if you keep buying at this rate, we're going to need the Gravestone to haul it all back to base."

“The Gravestone was destroyed over a year ago.” Grey blinked, confused.

“It was the lucky one.”

Grey just rolled her eyes, completely unfazed by her brother's theatrics. "Oh, stop being so dramatic. We're making great time!"

"Great time?" Draike scoffed. "We've been at this for hours. I'm pretty sure my arms are about to fall off."

“Your arms seem fine to me.” Theron gave Draike a once over, eyebrow arching up dubiously but did reach out to steady a precariously balanced box that was about to take a tumble.

“Yeah, easy for you to say,” Draike shot back. “I don’t see you offering to hold any of this crap.”

“Yes, well, we had to keep your hands busy somehow, didn’t we?” Theron shot back. “After all, idle hands are the devil’s workshop. And you were so bored.”

“I’ll show you idle hands.” Draike could have “accidentally” dropped one (or more) box onto his brother-in-law’s foot, but the Jenga-like arrangement in his arms would probably all come tumbling down if he did that. So he resisted.

Lyra cleared her throat, as if she’d read the momentary gleam in his eye. “You know, we could try and reorganize the route? See if we can cut out a little wandering time.”

“Oh, no worries about that,” Grey held out the datapad, showing off a meticulously color-coded map of the Promenade, with a clear line marking an optimized path to take them from the must-have gift locations to the more optional but fun items. “Theron made sure to chart an optimal path that would hit all the stores with the least amount of backtracking.”

“Who knew he was such a stellar navigator,” Draike muttered darkly.

Theron shot him an equally sour look, deftly leaning back as Grey made a swooping hand gesture as she tried to explain the route in more detail, as if that would somehow not make Draike’s will to live slowly ebb away.

“I’m dying,” he whined. “Slowly wasting away from dehydration. My mouth a desert, my throat a barren wasteland. Just a poor abused pack nerf, far from home.”

Theron rolled his eyes so hard it was a wonder it was a wonder his ocular implants didn't short-circuit from the strain. “You’re fine. You had a drink less than an hour ago.”

Lyra, probably moved by the thought of a poor, abused nerf, seemed to take pity on him. “You know, a break doesn’t sound like the worst idea. I think I spied a Biscuit Baron just around the corner. Why don’t Theron and I go grab drinks for everyone?”

“Ooh, hot cocoa!” Grey’s eyes lit up at the prospect. Or maybe that was just the reflection of the lights on her damn sweater.

“I’m going to need something stronger than cocoa to get through the rest of this,” Theron grumbled. Although whether he was agreeing to make his wife happy, or just to shut Draike up was up for debate.

“They don't serve whiskey at Biscuit Baron,” Draike said wistfully, “trust me, I’ve checked.”

“Caf then,” he amended, “strong enough to wake the dead.”

The two of them stepped away, weaving through the crowd towards the promised of caffeinated and chocolate salvation. Immediately, like an excited Kath hound pup let loose in a field of unsuspecting nerfs, Grey’s attention was captured by a nearby shop window. The display had some sort of garish representation of Coruscant’s Senate building rendered entirely in blinking Life Day lights.

“Look at this!” Deprived of her willing victim in matrimony, she tried to wave him over to coo at the display with her. “It’s adorable! Maybe we should get one for the War Room back on base.”

Draike just blinked at her. “You want to add ‘festive cheer’ to our war planning? What next, tying ribbons and bows on thermal detonators?”

She either didn’t hear him, or chose to ignore him, instead peering closer at the gaudy eyesore, her nose almost pressing against the shop window. “I think it would really brighten the place up.”

“I mean, explosions generally do have that. As a side effect.”

As she seemed oblivious to the way he was staggering under the mountain of packages she’d saddled with him, Draike gave serious thought to just dropping the whole lot right there on the fancy little walkway. It would serve them right. Maybe if he made enough of a scene, they’d finally call it quits and wrap up this hellish excursion.

As if summoned by his frustration alone, one of those weird repurposed protocol gift droids waddled into view. Its red chassis was adorned with an ungodly amount of twinkling lights, and its optical sensors fixed on Draike with an intensity that suggested it had scanned him, analyzed his festive deficiencies, and declared him Patient Zero in a Life Day cheer pandemic.

“Uh uh, don’t you dare—”

“Greetings gentle being, and happy Life Day!” The droid’s voice modulator seemed like it was cranked to eleven on the perkiness scale. “I couldn’t help but notice you seem o be lacking in holiday cheer! Perhaps I can assist you in finding the true meaning of this joyous season?”

Draike’s eyes narrowed, as if he’d just been threatened with violence. “True meaning, huh? Like spending hard earned credits on useless junk? Developing a drinking problem to cope with family gatherings?”

“Stars, no!” The droid’s photoreceptors blinked in what might have been confusion. Or horror. “The true meaning of Life Day is about spreading joy and goodwill to all beings arose the galaxy!”

Hell, this thing was worse than his sister. “Yeah, nothing says ‘goodwill to all’ like being accosted by a walking holiday decoration.”

The droid’s chassis prevented it from tilting its head, but it seemed to sway as if it wanted to attempt the maneuver anyway. “I have not accosted anyone.”

“Do you come pre-programmed with the ability to ignore sarcasm, or is that an upgrade?”

The droid, unfazed by his biting tone, forged on. Probably an upgrade. “Perhaps a festive Life Day carol would lift your spirits? I am programmed with over a thousand holiday melodies from across the galaxy!”

“I’d rather be slowly digested in a sarlacc pit.”

“I’m sorry, I’m unfamiliar with that song. Since you do not have a preference, I will select a carol at random.”

“No, wait—”

Weighed down by a thousand gifts, and perhaps also his own crushing despair, Draike was unable to stop the droid from launching into an ear-splitting rendition of the traditional Wookiee song, “A Day to Celebrate”, in what sounded like Huttese. The discordant warbling was painful enough he almost dropped the mountain of gifts in a reflexive attempt to shield his ears from the auditory assault. He glanced desperately at his sister, hoping she might rescue him from this menace, but she remained blissfully oblivious to his plight.

The droid finished its “song” (and he used that term loosely) with a flourish. “Wonderful! I can see the Life Day spirit levels in you rising already!”

Draike’s eye twitched. “That wasn’t my spirit levels rising, that was my will to live actively trying to crawl out of my body and escape.”

The droid once again tried to tilt its head, but failing that ability, just sort of wobbled again, the lights around its chassis flashing in manner that could only be described as offensively jubilant. “Ah, we must then dig deeper into the core of your holiday malaise. Tell me, gentle being, have you considered extending goodwill to others this season?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” He gritted his teeth as the giant gift pile swayed dangerously.

“A small donation could go a long way in helping those less fortunate.”

His arms burned from the weight of Grey’s endless shopping spree. Less fortunate? If anyone was less fortunate, it was him. “A donation? You want me to give credits to some random droid shaking me down in the street? What, did your ethical subroutines get crossed with a Hutt’s business model?”

The droid’s optical sensors flashed, its holiday cheer protocols struggling to process the insinuation. “I assure you, sir, this is a legitimate charity drive for the underprivileged children of Nar Shaddaa. Every credit goes directly to—”

“Listen, Jingle Bot, I’ve got my hands full of ‘Life Day cheer’ already. Literally. If I had any more my spine would probably snap from the weight.” Draike’s patience was wearing thinner than a worn-out strand of tinsel. “So unless your ‘charity drive’ comes with an extra set of arms or a repulsorlift sled, I suggest you take your goodwill pitch and shove it up your exhaust port!”

The droid didn’t budge, and if anything, Draike’s thinly veiled hostility seemed to encourage it almost. The festive lights on its chassis twinkled brighter as if trying to blind him into submission. “Oh, the gift of giving isn’t a burden. Perhaps if I explained the many benefits of charity during this festive season—”

Draike attempted to sidestep the obnoxious droid, the precarious tower of packages swaying dangerously, forcing him to freeze mid-step to steady them. The droid, apparently programmed with the tenacity of a Corellian sand panther, mirrored his movements, blocking his escape.

“Oh, for the love of—Grey!” Desperate, Draike tried to appeal to his sister’s heroic nature to come and save him. “A little help here!”

She turned her head slightly, barely sparing him a proper glance. “Oh, you’re fine. You’ve dealt with worse.”

A swear escaped him. “Worse? Worse than being harassed by a sentient disco ball?”

“I heard that!” The droid chirped, its tone somehow simultaneously cheerful and deeply offended. “Spreading joy may be a thankless task, but nonetheless, I persist!”

Oh, it persisted all right. Right back into Draike’s path as he tried once again to maneuver around the damn thing. A nearby Ithorian couple paused in their stroll, watching the scene with a mix of amusement and pity. One of them muttered something in their melodic language that he was pretty sure translated to “holiday meltdown”.

“Listen here, you overdecorated hyperdrive malfunction,” Draike hissed at his most hated nemesis, “if you don’t back off, I’m going to find the nearest scrap dealer and sell you for spare parts. Maybe in your next life you’ll be something useful, like a garbage compactor!”

For one blessed, glorious moment, the droid froze. Its photoreceptors dimming as if Draike’s bah humbug attitude had finally short-circuited the mechanical monstrosity. He felt a flicker of triumph.

Before the droid’s photoreceptors flickered. Once. Twice—before glowing an ominous, deep red.

The burgeoning smirk on Draike’s lips faltered. “Well, that can’t be good.”

When the droid spoke again, this time its tone was pitched deeper, slower and was laced with a menace that its cheery vocublator shouldn’t have been able to make. “Life Day spirit deficiency detected. Initiating aggressive holiday cheer protocols.“

“Aggressive what?”

He wasn’t sure if he should laugher be worried. Although from the way the droid’s festive lights flashed in a rapid, almost aggressive pattern… maybe the latter. “Now, now, I’m plenty cheerful. Look at this happy face of mine, see?”

Draike’s lips stretched into a wide, unconvincing grin, but from the way several passersby looked at him askance and herded each other away, perhaps it was more of a grimace.

The droid's chest compartment slid open, revealing a turret-like device loaded with fist-sized snowballs. Draike blinked, dumbfounded. Well, that was new.

Was that about to—?

Options flew by at light speed: Risk getting pelted with snowballs or dive for cover? Wait, what cover? The closest thing nearby that qualified was his oblivious sister. Update, new question. Drop the presents or use Grey as a shield? The answer was obvious.

Both.

Just as the first snowball launched with a soft, distinctive fwump sound, he moved. The mountain of packages tumbling in every direction, scattering with a less-than-festive crash. One particularly sickening crunch pierced the din as a delicate glass ornament met its untimely demise underneath Draike’s foot. He didn’t let that slow him down.

“What the—that was for Master Gnost-Dural!”

Before Grey could protest any further, Draike lunged for cover behind her, his hands clamping onto her shoulders and maneuvering her in front of him as a human shield, just in time for the snowball to splatter her with a wet thwack.

Phew, that was a close one. It had almost hit him!

A startled gasp escaped Grey as the snowball collided with her face, sending a spray of icy powder. But Draike was too busy surveying the damage to pay much attention to that or the fact that the droid was already reloading and launching another volley. He watched in detached, morbid fascination as an extra Life Day sweater, purchased on an impulse during hour three of this never ending shopping nightmare, unfurled like a discarded banner, its vibrant colors lost in the garish over decorated marketplace. Not much of a loss, really. The galaxy had enough crimes against fashion without adding another atrocity to the list.

A bottle of what was unmistakably expensive Corellian brandy rolled dangerously close to the edge of the walkway. Draike’s eyes widened as he looked between the bottle and the rapid-fire volley of snowballs hurtling towards the two siblings (or rather, towards Draike and his convenient human shield).

Saving the brandy could almost make this whole hellish excursion worthwhile. But there was no way he’d reach it without being pummeled. Perhaps he could drag Grey that direction and save it? The thought had merit.

As if sensing his distraction, the droid’s snowball barrage intensified.

“Draike!” Grey’s finely honed Jedi reflexes attempted to dodge the incoming snowballs (and maybe save some of her presents), but any attempt at tapping into that Force-given grace was hampered by her brother’s iron grip on her shoulders. “What in the Force are you—”

The question finished in an undignified squawk as another volley of snowballs pelted her.

“Stop it!” She sputtered, voice raising into a whining pitch that was very reminiscent to the one she used to use when they were kids and he was supposedly ‘picking on her’. “Let go of me!”

“Sorry, this is for the good of the galaxy!” He ducked lower behind her shoulder as another snowball whizzed past his ear. The cackle that escaped him was perhaps a little undignified, and more than a little manic. “You’re saving me from death by holiday cheer, just like a good little Jedi should.”

“It’s not funny, stop laughing!” Her drenched bangs were now plastered to her forehead, her ridiculous Life Day sweater now soaked through and clinging to her frame. The dancing wampas flickered pathetically, their cheery electronics no match for the droid’s relentless assault.

“Sure it is!”

Grey’s expression hardened, jaw setting in a way that suggested she was struggling to maintain her oh-so-perfect Jedi composure. “You’re being very immature, you know.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Draike didn’t sound sorry at all, “I didn’t realize there was a mature way to be assaulted by a homicidal holiday droid!”

Whatever she was going to say next was cut off as another volley of snowballs pelted Grey, making her sputter indignantly instead. That Jedi serenity was rapidly evaporating, replaced by the all-too-familiar look of a little sister pushed to her limits.

She furiously wiped the snow from her face, trying to twist around to face him, but his grip on her shoulders remained firm and she could only peer furiously and ineffectively over her shoulder. “I know where you sleep!”

That drew a full on snort from him, as if he’d be caught unawares by the least subtle person in the galaxy. “Oh nooo, the fearsome Jedi knows my sleeping arrangements! I’m shaking, I’m shaking!”

Grey’s eyes narrowed dangerously, a look that might have been intimidating, if she didn’t resemble a drowned womp rat. “You’re going to regret this, Draike Highwind.”

“Probably,” he agreed, and then pivoted them both so she valiantly saved him from another bombardment of snowballs. “But not as much as you’re going to regret wearing that sweater.”

“It’s a fun sweater!” Grey shrieked, composure finally shattering as she threw up her hands. The air shimmered in front of her, snowballs splattering harmlessly against some invisible shield. Oh, some sort of Force nonsense. Of course.

“Oh, yeah! Nothing says ‘fun’ like a pack of electrocuted wampas doing the Coruscant Jig across your chest.” Draike peered over her shoulder, eyeing the droid warily. Despite this new obstacle, it seemed content to keep up its relentless assault. “I’m surprised the Jedi Council hasn’t made it standard issue.”

She fixed him with a glare as hot as Tatooine’s twin suns, nose wrinkling in annoyance. But between the wet hair plastered across her forehead made the look more pitiful than threatening. “You realize you’re replacing everything that got ruined.”

He made a noncommittal noise.

“Everything.”Her tone was eerily reminiscent of the times she would tattle on him to their mother. Just about as effective now as it was then, too.

“Oh, no. You’re going to make me go shopping?” He gasped in mock horror. “I guess that will be just like the last ten hours of my life!”

The droid, apparently encouraged by Draike’s obvious enjoyment of the chaos improbably increased the rate of its snowball production, expanding its targeting protocols to include a group of Revelers passing by. They scattered with undignified shrieks.

“Hey, now, look at that,” he pointed cheerfully, “you’re now not the only one being graced with the holiday spirit. Look at all the joy we’re spreading!”

A particularly large snowball sailed over Grey’s Force shield, catching a Wookiee caroler square in the face mid-warble, ending the “song” in a surprised roar that echoed throughout the Promenade. 

“Uh oh,” Draike pointed in the direction of the latest victim, “I think you made him angry. Quick, use a Jedi mind trick to calm the savage beast!”

Seeing as she hadn’t stopped glaring at him, or at least attempting to with the awkward positioning, she didn’t fix him with another one. But it definitely turned withering at the comment. “That’s not how the Force works and you know it.”

“Really? Huh. I could’ve sworn I’ve seen you pull that trick on Theron when he gets all worked up about—”

“Shut. Up.” She ground out through gritted teeth, her cheeks flushing a shade of red that had nothing to do with the cold.

The Wookiee shook himself, ending clumps of snow flying in all directions. A larger chunk sailed through the air in a graceful arc, somehow managing to bypass Draike completely and splat across Grey’s freckled nose with pinpoint accuracy. Her eyes crossed as she stared at the dollop of snow now perched in the center of her vision, looking utterly ridiculous with her soaked sweater, bedraggled hair, and newly acquired snow mustache.

It was perhaps the most beautiful sight that Draike had ever seen.

So caught up in the ridiculousness of her snow-covered visage, he almost missed the moment Theron and Lyra returned. Almost.

Just beyond the still shimmering Force barrier that was still being relentlessly pummeled with a frankly alarming and endless amount of snowballs (how was that physically possible for it to keep generating those ad nauseam without being hooked up to a water supply?), he could see both of them emerging from the crowd. Watching in real time as there expressions morphed from confusion. Lyra’s went to weary exasperation int he span of a heartbeat. Impressive honestly. She’d clearly been spending too much time around him.

Theron, however, cycled through a rapid-fire series of emotions as if he couldn’t settle on just one at first. Surprise. Dawning comprehension, then a blossoming rage. That vein in his forehead—the one Draike had mentally dubbed “Old Faithful” for its reliability—began to pulse with a righteous fury.

“Oh oh,” Drake nudged Grey slightly as she furiously wiped snow from her face. “Don’t look now, but Lover Boy’s about to reach critical mass.”

She stopped wiping her face in time to see the thundercloud settling over husband’s face. “Theron, don’t—”

But it was too late. Theron was already in motion, the drinks he’d been carrying went flying, splattering across the Promenade’s flooring in a caffeinated explosion. Lyra let out an exasperated sigh, aking a Force-enhanced step back to keep it from splattering across her cute, practical little Life Day themed boots.

“My cocoa!” Grey’s lower lip protruded in the same way it did when she was five that somehow always got Draike grounded for the next week.

Theron moved with the precision of a trained operative, a coiled spring of protective fury unleashed. He vaulted over the railing, using it as a springboard to launch himself at the droid in a move that was as impressive as it was ridiculous. His dropkick connected with a resounding clang, sending the droid flying back, snowballs scattering in every direction.

Draike let out an appreciative whistle. “Nice form! Good execution. I give it a solid 9.5 out of 10.”

Grey’s withering glare somehow intensified. If that was possible. 

The droid sparked, sputtering dramatically. Its chassis was now dented from the well-placed dropkick, and the snowball mechanics seemed to be malfunctioning. The chest compartment opened and closed spasmodically as it tried and failed to rise, determined to find its quarry. With a final, pathetic whir, one last snowball launched weakly into the air, landing with a wet plop at Theron’s feet.

He stood over the fallen droid, chest heaving and looking more than a little pleased with himself. The antlers were a little askew, and the perfectly maintained fauxhawk mussed from the extortion. A few strands of hair escaped the gravity defying amount of hair gel he used to sculpt it and fell rakishly across his forehead. Perhaps on someone who wasn’t such a stick-in-the-mud, the sight might almost have been attractive.

Grey pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a long exhale that somehow managed to convey both exasperation and fondness. “Was that really necessary?”

“Absolutely,” Theron replied without hesitation. He still glared at the prone droid, as if daring it to twitch. “What kind of husband would just stand idly by and let you get pelted with snowballs?”

“My hero.” Her deadpan reply was softened by the way her lips twitched, fighting back a smile. Ugh, it was so wholesome. Disgusting.

Lyra, meanwhile, was already attempting to do a little damage control, intercepting approaching cartel security personnel with an ease that suggested this wasn’t the first, or perhaps even hundredth, time she’d had to pull this maneuver.  She waved her hand in front of her vaguely, voice calm and authoritative, perhaps laced with a small amount of Force suggestion. "Everything's fine here. Just a small malfunction. We have the situation under control."

Crisis finally averted, Draike finally released his iron grip on Grey’s shoulders. She jerked away from him, still clearly irritated. She was in a sorry state, looking like she’d gone for a swim fully clothed. The once-festive sweater was now a sad, soggy mess. The dancing wampas flickered pathetically, their electronic holiday cheer no match for the droid's relentless assault.

She attempted to salvage the thing, wringing out the bottom of her sweater and creating a small puddle at her feet. The motion sent a cascade of melting snow and ice crystals tumbling from her hair, pattering against the floor like the saddest confetti imaginable.

“You know,” Draike stroked his chin thoughtfully, “I think I prefer this look. Really brings out your eyes.”

Her glare could have melted durasteel.

Draike took a step back, not because he was intimidated or anything. Truly, it was only to inspect his… mostly unintentional handiwork. Baby sister’s Jedi composure crumbling into murderous sibling intent? Check. Annoying droid in laying in sparking ruins? Also check. The stupid spy making a fool out of himself with overly dramatic and unneeded heroics? Double check. It really couldn’t have been any better if he’d actually tried to orchestrate this. 

So distracted with the beautiful poetry of it all, Draike completely missed the growing puddle of melted snow spreading across the floor from Grey’s soaked clothing. His foot his the slick surface, cutting off his internal monologue about his beautiful chaos. Time seemed to slow, his arms pinwheeling, a look of dawning horror spreading across his face.

“Oh, shi—”

Gravity took over, sending him crashing down hard on his ass right in the middle of an icy puddle, and leaving him in an undignified heap. He blinked up at the gaudy Life Day decorations adorning the ceiling.

Any attempt at Jedi-appropriate sympathy from Grey lasted about half a second, before she snorted. For her part, she did attempt to cover her amusement with a cough that fooled absolutely no one. “Are you alright? That looked… painful.”

“Your concern is touching, truly.”

Grey pressed her lips together, fighting a losing battle against her rising mirth. “I’m just glad to see you’re finally getting into the holiday spirit.”

“I will end you,” Draike promised, trying to rise imperiously from the ground, but slipping and falling again.

“And then I executed a perfect flying kick,” Theron was saying perhaps a little too loudly to a clearly unimpressed Life Day Reveler, gesticulating wildly as he mimed a blow-by-blow account of his droid takedown. “Perfect trajectory, form, sheer power. Who needs the Force?”

The Reveler, a Rodian wearing now snow-splattered Life Day robes, simply blinked at Theron before slowly inching away. 

Nearby, Lyra picked through the wreckage of their shopping expedition, plucking a sodden package from a puddle. She winced as she peeled back the corner of ruined wrapping paper, water dripping from it in a steady patter, adding to a growing pool at her feet that reflected the gaudy lights strung around them.

As if sensing his eyes on her, Lyra glanced up, arching one perfectly sculpted eyebrow in a single expression that managed to convey entire paragraphs of unspoken commentary.

A blend of “I saw that coming”, I told you so" and "you deserved that" all rolled into one. The slight twitch at the corner of her mouth betrayed her struggle to keep a straight face. Draike scowled, his pride bruised even worse than his backside.

“Don’t say it. “He pointed a finger at her, finally managing to shove himself into an upright position at least. “Not one word.”

Lyra opened her mouth, expression promising perhaps a remark about karmic justice, when a shadow fell over Draike. A towering Wookiee, draped in a festive sash that strained against its massive frame, loomed over him and let out a deep, rumbling sound. It was probably meant to be sympathetic—perhaps the Shyriiwook equivalent of "there, there." But to Draike's ears, it sounded suspiciously like amusement.

Before he could protest, a massive furry paw came down, patting him with surprising gentleness, though with enough force to still muss his carefully maintained coif. The gesture made him feel about five years old, which added another crushing blow to his already battered dignity.

“Watch the—” Another pat nearly knocked him sideways, silencing his protest. 

He flailed, struggling to maintain what little balance he had left. The Wookiee let out another sympathetic warble, misinterpreting the spluttered protests as need for more comfort. The worst part of it was one little sister’s poorly disguised attempts to suppress her mirth, the unconvincing coughs failing to cover her snickering.

The area around them was a disaster zone of holiday cheer gone wrong.  Shattered presents lay scattered around the sparking, sputtering gift droid.

"Hap-hap-happy Life D-d-day," it wheezed, a few sad snowflakes dribbling from its damaged chest. "Would you like to make a d-d-donation?"

Draike finally disentangled himself from the well-meaning Wookiee, rising with what little dignity he could muster as nearby, Theron had been forced to shift from trying to regale passersby with the heroic tale of droid slaughter to explaining to a very beefy cartel security officer why droid assault was completely justified. 

“It was a menace to society—it’s holiday cheer settings way too aggressive to be considered normal!”

The Nikto security guard looked unimpressed, reptilian features twisting into a scowl. “Sir, I fail to see how malfunctioning gift droid deserved such a brutal murder.”

“Murder?” Theron sputtered indignantly. “It was self-defense—”

Grey, still dripping, had given up on salvaging her festive sweater. She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering as the icy water soaked through her clothes. The dancing wampas on her chest gave one, final, pitiful flicker before going dark entirely.

Theron immediately broke off his impassioned defense of droid violence, shrugging off his jacket in one smooth motion and raping it over his shivering wife’s shoulders. As he fussed with the collar, making sure it was snug around her neck, he shot a pointed glare at Draike that clearly said “this is your fault”. 

Grey tried, and failed, to hide her little smile at the gesture, even as she half-heartedly protested. “I’m fine, really. It’s not that cold—”

Her words trailed off as she burrowed deeper into the warmth of the jacket, contradicting her claim entirely. The red leather engulfed her smaller frame, making her look even more bedraggled than before. But the contented sigh she let out betrayed her gratitude.

Kneeling down, still clutching the jacket around her, Grey began sifting through the wreckage of their shopping expedition. Her expression soured as she lifted a sodden bundle of documents, waterlogged and practically disintegrating in her hands. 

"Oh no," she groaned, squinting at the label. "This was the documentation for Master Gnost-Dural about the Hidden Chain’s latest activities. It's completely ruined."

“What a tragedy,” Draike muttered."

She shot Draike another exasperated look, this one leaning heavily towards the 'annoyed' end of the spectrum. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to track these down? Now I'll have to file incident reports about the incident reports."

"Ah yes, the bureaucratic circle of life. Truly, there is no greater tragedy in the galaxy."

“Lana has backups,” Theron put in helpfully, although he leveled a similarly annoyed glower in Draike’s direction. “Something about not trusting us with the sole copy of vital intelligence. Which, I loathe to admit, might be somewhat justified right about now.”

Lyra offered Draike a hand up, and he abandoned the attempts to wring out the hem of his jacket to accept her firm grip. She hauled him from the puddle with practiced ease. “Honestly, Draike, this is why we can’t have nice things.”

“I personally think we’re all better for the experience.” He straightened his back in an admirable, if ultimately doomed, attempt to retain some shred of authority. “Besides, seeing that damn droid get dropkicked like that was almost worth me wetting my pants—wait, getting my pants wet.”

Lyra’s lips twitched, managing to fight back a smile as she bent to retrieve another soggy package. “They do say that property destruction is the hallmark of a successful shopping trip.”

“It is when Agent Shan is involved.” Draike thumbed in Theron’s direction. “But also good riddance to an obnoxious menace.”

Grey glanced over in his direction. “I’m sure the Hutt Cartel will be thrilled to hear about our heroic droid slaying. The headlines practically write themselves: ‘Rogue Jedi and Idiot Brother Destroy Priceless Holiday Decorations.”

"Hey, it’s not our fault if they overpaid for that rusted hunk of junk. Clearly it should have only cost them a handful of credits.”

“Because they’re famously so understanding about such things.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. He really had done a number on that Jedi patience of hers, hadn’t he? “And since you’re so eager to explain our heroic deeds, you can be the one to tell Master Gnost-Dural exactly what happened to his files.”

“Wait, what?”

“I mean, it’s only fair that you get to explain to one of the Jedi Order’s new Grand Master why his carefully compiled research is now soggy confetti."

“Well why the hell did you print it out on flimsiplast to begin with instead of sending him an e-mail like a normal person?”

“I’m sorry if he’s old fashioned—”

“Wait, Gnost-Dural regularly checks his e-mails.” Theron frowned in confusion. “He sends me lame screenshotted memes like every other day.”

“I,” Draike insisted, ignoring Theron like he usually did, “was an innocent bystander in all of this.”

“You’re about as innocent as a Jawa in a droid swap,” Lyra intoned dryly.

“Lyra,” Grey said, a little scandalized at the insinuation against Jawakind. She adjusted Theron's jacket around her shoulders, though it did little to stop the shivering that had set into her bones.

A second security officer joined the Nikto, this one a burly Zabrak with a badge that looked far too shiny for someone assigned to deal with Life Day mall chaos. In unison they crossed their arms, staring Theron down with the grim determination of underpaid employees counting the minutes to the end of their shift. When his indignant sputter of doing what any concerned citizen didn’t move them, Theron moved on to the subject of legal liabilities for Cartel-owned droids assaulting innocent shoppers, and both the Nikto and Zabrak exchanged weary glances before waving him off with matching sighs of defeat. Clearly, they'd decided that dealing with this particular brand of Life Day chaos wasn't worth the overtime.

Lyra, ever efficient, had somehow salvaged and redistributed the surviving packages, even producing a small satchel from seemingly nowhere to carefully tuck away the most delicate items.

“I don’t suppose you’ve got a spare set of clothes in there too?” Draike eyed the satchel with a mixture of hope and suspicion. “Life Day sweaters don’t count.”

Lyra's lips twitched, fighting back another smile as she adjusted the strap on her shoulder. "I'm good, Draike, but I'm not that good. Though I did manage to save your Corellian brandy."

Draike perked up, his soggy misery momentarily forgotten. "You're an angel among Jedi, you know that?"

Lyra gave him a sidelong glance, her lips twitching again. "Don’t push it, Captain. I’m still debating whether or not you deserve it. But I figured if I didn't save the brandy, you'd only cry harder."

“I do not cry,” he sniffed indignantly. “Just occasionally wallow. Besides, that droid had it out for me from the get-go. Did you see how it hounded me?”

“No, I was at Biscuit Baron.”

“It was like a predator stalking its prey—”

A mechanical whir cut him off, and the group froze, turning as one to stare at the defunct droid they’d left in their wake. The battered chassis sparked, chest compartment grinding one final time. Theron instinctively moved to shield Grey just as the droid let out one last sad little fwump.

A single snowball launched, arcing through the air, sailing past where Theron’s protective stance and Grey’s half-formed Force barrier to catch Draike square in the face. The droid let out a final, satisfied “Happy Life Day” before sparking and dying completely, lights flickering out like an errant breeze snuffing out a candle. 

Snow dripped down Draike's chin as his sister completely lose her composure, dissolving into the kind of laughter that had her leaning against her husband for support. As he wiped the slush from his face, he had to admit (though only to himself, and very, very quietly) that maybe he deserved that one. But only that one.

[whyisthereacentaur]

Have you ever heard of der Schneider (the tailor), from the early 20th-century German "educational" children's book Der Struwwelpeter?

He allegedly would leap out with a giant pair of fabric shears and amputate the thumbs of children who wouldn't stop sucking their thumbs.

I kid you not, this is the illustration in the book and it scared the hell out of me as a child even though I never believed he was real:

I was just wondering, what do you think he's doing in 2024?

Wow, so first, apologies for the long delay in answering this ask! And thank you for the inspiration. The ideas came quickly, but finding the time needed to put them to digital page took a lot longer.

Fair warning that I’ve had altogether far too much fun with this idea and have taken some extreme artistic licence with his species!

Modern Monsters: The Scissorman

~~~

I had already heard of this character.

I have no idea why my grandmother happened to own a copy of the translation of Der Struwwelpeter, nor why she kept it in the main bookshelf, but she did; and I was a child who read everything within reach, so I did.

For those who haven’t, the book is an anthology of ridiculously overblown morality tales. Der Schneider or The Scissorman features in the tale of Little Suck-A-Thumb. You can read the short poem in English here: https://www.poetrybyheart.org.uk/poems/the-story-of-little-suck-a-thumb

I’ll be sticking to calling him The Scissorman below, because honestly, it’s just got great horror vibes.

There is very little said about the Scissorman in the poem itself. When kids suck their thumbs, he shows up and cuts off their thumbs with his scissors. It’s never explained why he does this, or how he knew that Konrad was sucking his thumb in the first place.

Call me crazy, but maybe he(?) is not even human at all. Maybe he can pass as human, and drops the disguise when it’s too late for his victims.

The Scissorman still makes close to a reasonable living from tailoring these days, but that line of income has suffered somewhat in the age of fast fashion. It was mainly a flimsy excuse to live among humans, anyway. It’s a lot harder to detect time wasters and thumb suckers out in the wilderness, after all, let alone get within striking distance before other humans show up and get in the way.

However, with his inhuman ability to sense humans, the Scissorman is more than aware that he is not the only monster to move among them.

And some of those monsters will pay handsomely, whether that be by money or barter or favours, for someone to source human flesh for them.

The Scissorman runs a quite-literally-underground wet market hidden in an expansive chamber underneath his tailor’s shop. He has recruited a network of trustworthy (for his purposes, at least) vendors of all sorts of in-demand human products and byproducts; alongside his own procured stock, one can find everything from organs, to extracted emotions, to literal blood, sweat and tears.

It should be noted that the Scissorman does not, himself, need to eat fingers and thumbs, or any other physical body part.

The Scissorman feeds on the energies and emotions released by humans, with the most negative ones being the most powerfully nourishing and delicious. Removing thumbs and fingers from his typical targets is just the most efficient way of removing access to various sources of comfort, keeping his victims’ negative energies at an all-time high.

He is, of course, terminally manipulative, and therefore will self-report the motivation for his attacks as something different - something that lets him claim virtue and blame his victims.

He will sometimes partake of the market’s other offerings from time to time despite the lack of physical obligation to do so. It’s a good way to monitor the quality of the stock, as well as build rapport with the customers and vendors, and he is conscious of the importance of reputation and allies in the underworld they all move in.

Incidentally, he has met Cuca. She does come by every now and again when the cravings for brat flesh get a bit too distracting.

In exchange for his promise to leave her nannying charges alone, she has paid him off well with tips on where to find all the worst-behaved people she knows - whether he chooses to cut them down to size, or to drop by periodically to feed off the suffering they inflict on others around them, really depends on which mood strikes him that day.

~~~

Barring the Kelpie, which I’ve treated as more of a wild animal than sapient being, a lot of my Modern Monsters have been… if not outright good, at least capable of and willing to do some things that might do some good.

The idea of a guy who zaps in out of nowhere and mutilates children for no justifiable reason seemed like a great opportunity for a monster who Knowingly Does Bad Stuff and who also Definitely Won’t Change.

I had to make the Scissorman at least not fully human, because he’s been terrorising children for more than one natural lifetime. And no disrespect to the original illustrator, but that face looked so passive and mask-like for someone who’s cutting off someone else’s body part, I started to think about a creature hiding its true shape behind a porcelain mask.

Why I went for that shape being some sort of alien blowfly-pseudoscorpion hybrid with neck vertebra and metal shears for pincers, well, one, the butcher’s stall & exposed bone/attendant flies connections, two, I wanted the tailor’s scissors to be an integral part of his true body and wanted to reference a weird real-life creature with pincers, and three, I let the weird part of my brain loose to have fun with it.

I’m trying out a new art program (IbisPaint X) and did the grayscale image first, then belatedly realised that colours might be a good choice when I’ve called him “red-legged” in reference to the original poem. So you get both versions. Colour scheme loosely refers to the original illustration’s clothing.

The rhythm of this poem jumps about a little, but so did the translation of the original, so I didn’t agonise as much as usual about trying to keep the meter tight.

On the plus side, I learned a new word - I had to look up what to call “eater of humans” when they can’t be called a cannibal since they’re not human themselves. You can imagine my face finding out what word I now had to fit into a rhyming poem somewhere.

~~~

Modern Monsters series

Modern Monsters 1: Dullahan

Modern Monsters 2: Kelpie

Modern Monsters 3: Kuchisake-onna

Modern Monsters 4: Cuca

Modern Monsters 5: Vampire

Modern Monsters 6: Dr Frankenstein

Modern Monsters 7: Frankenstein’s Monster

Modern Monsters bonus: Frankenstein, Monster (it’ll come some day I swear)

Modern Monsters 8: The Scissorman

Modern Monsters 9: Lesser Dragon (Dragonet)

[mariacallous]

September was a busy month for Russian influence operations—and for those tasked with disrupting them. News coverage of a series of U.S. government actions revealed Russia was using fake domains and personas, front media outlets, real media outlets acting as covert agents, and social media influencers to distort public conversation around the globe.

The spate of announcements by the U.S. Justice Department and U.S. State Department, as well as a public hearing featuring Big Tech leadership held by the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, underlines the extent to which Russia remains focused on interfering in U.S. political discourse and undermining confidence in U.S. elections. This is not particularly surprising on its own, as covert influence operations are as old as politics. What the unsealed indictments from the Justice Department, the report by the State Department, and the committee hearing emphasize is that bots and trolls on social media are only part of the picture—and that no single platform or government agency can successfully tackle foreign influence on its own.

As researchers of adversarial abuse of the internet, we have tracked social media influence operations for years. One of us, Renée, was tapped by the Senate Select Committee in 2017 to examine data sets detailing the activity of the Internet Research Agency—the infamous troll farm in St. Petersburg—on Facebook, Google, and Twitter, now known as X. The trolls, who masqueraded as Americans ranging from Black Lives Matter activists to Texas secessionists, had taken the United States by surprise. But that campaign, which featured fake personas slinking into the online communities of ordinary Americans, was only part of Russia’s effort to manipulate U.S. political discourse. The committee subsequently requested an analysis of the social media activities of the GRU—Russian military intelligence—which had concurrently run a decidedly different set of tactics, including hack and leak operations that shifted media coverage in the run-up to the 2016 U.S. presidential election. Russian operatives also reportedly hacked into U.S. voter databases and voting machine vendors but did not go so far as to change actual votes.

Social media is an attractive tool for covert propagandists, who can quickly create fake accounts, tailor content for target audiences, and insert virtual interlopers into real online communities. There is little repercussion for getting caught. However, two presidential election cycles after the Russian Internet Agency first masqueraded as Americans on social media platforms, it is important to emphasize that running inauthentic covert networks on social media has always been only one part of a broader strategy—and sometimes, it has actually been the least effective part. Adversaries also use a range of other tools, from spear phishing campaigns to cyberattacks to other media channels for propaganda. In response to these full-spectrum campaigns, vigilance and response by U.S. tech platforms are necessary. But alone, that will not be enough. Multi-stakeholder action is required.

The first set of announcements by the Justice Department on Sept. 4 featured two distinct strategies. The first announcement, a seizure of 32 internet domains used by a Russia-linked operation known in the research community as “Doppelganger,” reiterates the interconnected nature of social media influence operations, which often create fake social media accounts and external websites whose content they share. Doppelganger got its name from its modus operandi: spoofs of existing media outlets. The actors behind it, Russian companies Social Design Agency and Structura, created fake news outlets that mirror real media properties (such as a website that looked like the Washington Post) and purported offshoots of real entities (such as the nonexistent CNN California). The websites host the content and steal logos, branding, and sometimes even the names of journalists from real outlets. The operation shares fake content from these domains on social media, often using redirect links so that when unwitting users click on a link, it redirects to a spoofed website. Users might not realize they are on a fake media property, and social media companies have to expend resources to continually search for redirect links that take little effort to generate. Indeed, Meta’s 2024 Q1 Adversarial Threat Report noted that the company’s teams are engaged in daily efforts to thwart Doppelganger activities. Some other social media companies and researchers use these signals, which Meta shares publicly, as leads for their own investigations.

The domains seized by the Justice Department are just a portion of the overall number of pages that Doppelganger has run. Most are garbage sites that get little traction, and most of the accounts linking to them have few followers. These efforts nonetheless require vigilance to ensure that they don’t manage to eventually grow an audience. And so, the platforms play whack-a-mole. Meta publishes lists of domains in threat-sharing reports, though not all social media companies act in response; some, like Telegram, take an avowedly hands-off approach to dealing with state propagandists, purportedly to avoid limiting political speech. X, which used to be among the most proactive and transparent in its dealings with state trolls, has not only significantly backed off curtailing inauthentic accounts, but also removed transparency labels denoting overt Russian propaganda accounts. In turn, recent leaks from Doppelganger show the Social Design Agency claiming that X is the “the only mass platform that could currently be utilized in the U.S.” At the U.S. Senate Select Committee on Intelligence hearing on Sept. 18, Sen. Mark Warner called out several platforms (including X, TikTok, Telegram, and Discord) that “pride themselves of giving the proverbial middle finger to governments all around the world.” These differences in moderation policies and enforcement mean that propagandists can prioritize those platforms that do not have the desire or resources to disrupt their activities.

However, dealing with a committed adversary necessitates more than playing whack-a-mole with fake accounts and redirect links on social media. The Justice Department’s domain seizure was able to target the core of the operation: the fake websites themselves. This is not a question of true versus false content, but demonstrable fraud against existing media companies, and partisans across the aisle support disrupting these operations. Multi-stakeholder action can create far more impactful setbacks for Doppelganger, such as Google blocking Doppelganger domains from appearing on Google News, and government and hosting infrastructure forcing Doppelganger operatives to begin website development from scratch. Press coverage should also be careful not to exaggerate the impact of Russia’s efforts, since, as Thomas Rid recently described, the “biggest boost the Doppelganger campaigners got was from the West’s own anxious coverage of the project.”

A second set of announcements in September by the Justice Department and State Department highlighted a distinct strategy: the use of illicit finance to fund media properties and popular influencers spreading content deemed useful to Russia. An indictment unsealed by the Justice Department alleged that two employees from RT—an overt Russian state-affiliated media entity with foreign-facing outlets around the world—secretly funneled nearly $10 million into a Tennessee-based content company. The company acted as a front to recruit prominent right-wing American influencers to make videos and post them on social media. Two of the RT employees allegedly edited, posted, and “directed the posting” of hundreds of these videos.

Much of the content from the Tennessee company focused on divisive issues, like Russia’s war in Ukraine, and evergreen topics like illegal immigration and free speech. The influencers restated common right-wing opinions; the operators were not trying to make their procured talent introduce entirely new ideas, it seemed, but rather keep Russia’s preferred topics of conversation visibly present within social media discourse while nudging them just a bit further toward sensational extremes. In one example from the indictment, one of the RT employees asked an influencer to make a video speculating about whether an Islamic State-claimed massacre in Moscow might really have been perpetrated by Ukraine. The right-wing influencers themselves, who received sizeable sums of money and accrued millions of views on YouTube and other platforms, appear to have been unwitting and have not been charged with any wrongdoing.

This strategy of surreptitiously funding useful voices, which hearkens back to Soviet techniques to manipulate Western debates during the Cold War, leverages social media’s power players: authentic influencers with established audiences and a knack for engagement. Influence operations that create fake personas face two challenges: plausibility and resonance. Fake accounts pretending to be Americans periodically reveal themselves by botching slang or talking about irrelevant topics. They have a hard time growing a following. The influencers, by contrast, know what works, and they frequently get boosted by even more popular influencers aligned with their ideas. Musk, who has more than 190 million followers on X, reportedly engaged with content from the front media company at least 60 times.

Social media companies are not well suited to identify these more obscured forms of manipulation. The beneficiaries of Russian funding were real influencers, and their social media accounts do not violate platform authenticity policies. They are expressing opinions held by real Americans, even if they are Russia-aligned. Assuming the coordination of funding and topics did not take place on social media, the platforms likely lack insight into offline information that intelligence agencies or other entities collect. The violations are primarily external, as well—mainly the alleged conspiracy to commit money laundering and the alleged violation of the Foreign Agents Registration Act. Here, too, a multi-stakeholder response is necessary: Open-source investigators, journalists, and the U.S. intelligence community can contribute by uncovering this illicit behavior, and the U.S. government can work with international partners to expose, and, where appropriate, impose sanctions and other legal remedies to deter future operations.

The degree to which these activities happen beyond social media—and beyond the awareness of the platform companies—was driven home in a Sept. 13 speech by U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken. He highlighted other front media entities allegedly operated by RT, including some with a more global focus, such as African Stream and Berlin-based Red. According to the State Department, RT also operates online fundraising efforts for the Russian military and coordinates directly with the Russian government to interfere in elections, including the Moldovan presidential election later this month. These activities go far beyond the typical remit of overt state media, and likely explain why Meta and YouTube—neither of which had previously banned RT after Russia’s invasion of Ukraine—responded to the news by banning the outlet and all of its subsidiary channels.

Our argument is not that the steps taken by social media companies to combat influence operations are unimportant or that the platforms cannot do better. When social media companies fail to combat influence operations, manipulators can grow their followings. Social media companies can and should continue to build integrity teams to tackle these abuses. But fake social media accounts are only one tool in a modern propagandist’s toolbox. Ensuring that U.S. public discourse is authentic—whether or not people like the specifics of what’s being said—is a challenge that requires many hands to fix.

[xpressiosystems]

Boost Your Planning Business with the Best Wedding and Event Software Tools

In today’s fast-paced world, planning events and weddings is more complex than ever. With countless moving parts, deadlines, vendors, and clients to manage, many professionals are turning to smart digital solutions to streamline their work. Using tools like wedding planner computer software has become a game-changer for professionals in the event industry.

Organize Better with Smart Wedding Planning Tools

Staying on top of every detail is critical in this industry. That’s where event planning software for wedding planners makes a big impact. These platforms allow you to manage guest lists, plan timelines, and coordinate vendors more efficiently than ever before.

One of the best investments for any professional in this space is software for wedding planners. It’s a must-have for anyone serious about delivering seamless events. From timeline creation to payment tracking, software for wedding planners reduces manual tasks and helps planners stay ahead of schedule.

In addition, wedding planner software simplifies client communication, ensuring that everyone is on the same page from day one. This results in happier clients, better feedback, and more referrals.

Take Control of the Entire Planning Process

To manage a growing list of clients and events, professionals use wedding planning software that provides a central dashboard for all planning tasks. These tools allow planners to focus more on creativity and client experience, rather than chasing down details manually.

Manage Your Business Like a Pro

Beyond event coordination, running a successful planning business also requires solid business tools. That’s why many professionals depend on event planning business software to manage contracts, invoices, and client records securely.

Choosing the right software for event planning can make day-to-day operations smoother. It allows planners to avoid unnecessary stress and focus on delivering unforgettable experiences.

Many teams now rely on Software for planning events that offer collaboration features, calendar syncing, and reporting tools to measure performance.

Empower Teams and Manage Venues More Efficiently

For teams that work together on multiple events, using event planners software is essential. It allows seamless task delegation, timeline updates, and easy communication, helping everyone stay aligned.

When it comes to managing physical venues, Event Venue Planning Software helps visualize layouts, manage bookings, and ensure spaces are used efficiently. Whether you’re organizing seating charts or managing room availability, this tool adds tremendous value.

Use Technology to Stay Competitive

As events grow more complex, professionals are turning to event management planning software to manage logistics, technical requirements, and scheduling in one streamlined platform. This ensures that no task or deadline gets overlooked.

Many professionals prefer all in one event planning software because it includes everything from task tracking to budgeting and reporting tools. This allows planners to manage entire events from one platform without switching between systems.

The growing demand for online event planning software shows how much the industry is embracing digital tools. Cloud access, data backup, and real-time updates make these platforms ideal for modern-day planning.

With the rise of remote work and mobile access, using Digital wedding planning software has become more important than ever. These tools offer convenience, flexibility, and security, which are key to running a successful planning business.

For venue managers, event venue management software helps track bookings, manage operations, and improve customer service. It’s a vital tool for keeping operations efficient and organized, especially in high-demand seasons.

Final Thoughts

The event and wedding planning industry is moving quickly toward smarter, more efficient solutions. Whether you’re an independent planner or part of a larger team, investing in professional tools like wedding planner computer software and online event & wedding planning software can transform how you work.

Using comprehensive tools such as software for wedding planners, event planning business software, and event venue management software helps reduce stress, improve client satisfaction, and scale your business with confidence.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

1. What is wedding planner computer software?

Wedding planner computer software is a digital tool that helps wedding planners organize every aspect of a wedding. It includes features like guest list tracking, vendor coordination, budget management, and event scheduling. This software helps planners work more efficiently and deliver seamless wedding experiences.

2. How is online event & wedding planning software different from traditional planning methods?

Online event & wedding planning software offers cloud-based access, allowing planners to manage tasks, clients, and vendors from any location. Unlike traditional methods, this software provides real-time updates, automated reminders, and easier collaboration, making planning faster and more organized.

3. Who should use event planning software for wedding planners?

Event planning software for wedding planners is ideal for professional wedding coordinators, event organizers, and planning teams. It helps streamline operations, manage timelines, and ensure that no detail is missed during the planning process.

4. Is software for wedding planners useful for small businesses?

Yes, software for wedding planners is especially useful for small businesses. It helps manage client communications, organize tasks, and keep track of budgets — all in one place. Even small teams can benefit from these tools to maintain a professional and organized service.

[officialvapecarts44]

Muha Meds Carts: The Real Deal in Premium Vape Experiences

If you’ve been in the vape scene for a while, you’ve likely come across Muha Meds Carts. Known for their eye-catching packaging and bold flavor profiles, Muha Meds has built a name for itself in the cannabis community. But what’s the real deal behind the hype? Are Muha Meds Carts worth your time (and money)? Let's dive in and explore everything you need to know before your next puff.

What Are Muha Meds Carts?

Muha Meds Carts are premium cannabis oil vape cartridges that offer a strong, flavorful, and often potent vaping experience. They’re filled with high-quality THC oil and are designed for use with standard 510-thread vape batteries, making them compatible and easy to use for most vape enthusiasts.

With their sleek design and vibrant branding, Muha Meds Carts are instantly recognizable. But it’s not just about looks—the performance matches the packaging.

Why Muha Meds Carts Stand Out

There’s no shortage of vape carts on the market, so what makes Muha Meds Carts different?

1. Top-Tier Oil Quality

Muha Meds uses lab-tested cannabis oil to ensure each cartridge meets high standards. The oil is often extracted using a CO2 method, preserving terpenes and cannabinoids for a clean, potent hit.

2. Flavor That Pops

Whether you're into fruity blends, classic OG strains, or dessert-inspired flavors, Muha Meds has something for every palate. Popular choices include Blueberry Kush, Apple Jack, and Wedding Cake.

3. Potency That Packs a Punch

Looking for that strong THC hit? Many users report a potent high that kicks in fast and lasts for hours. Muha Meds Carts usually test in the 85–95% THC range, making them one of the more powerful options on the market.

4. Sleek, Secure Packaging

Each cart comes in a tamper-proof, hologram-sealed box with a scannable QR code so you can verify its authenticity. In a world full of knock-offs, this feature is a game-changer.

Common Strains and Flavors

Here are a few favorites among the Muha Meds Carts lineup:

Strawberry Shortcake – Sweet and dessert-like with a relaxing effect.

Skywalker OG – Earthy, heavy-hitting, and perfect for winding down.

Zkittlez – Bursting with fruity flavor and a mellow vibe.

Banana OG – Smooth, tropical, and ideal for calming anxiety.

Maui Wowie – A sativa classic with pineapple notes and uplifting energy.

How to Spot Fake Muha Meds Carts

Counterfeits are a big issue in the vape world, and unfortunately, Muha Meds Carts are often targeted due to their popularity. Here are some quick tips to make sure you’re getting the real deal:

Check the QR Code: Real Muha Meds packaging includes a QR code you can scan to confirm authenticity via their official website.

Examine the Oil: Real oil is thick, golden-amber in color, and doesn’t move easily when the cart is turned upside down.

Know Your Source: Only purchase from licensed dispensaries or trusted vendors.

Watch for Typos and Poor Packaging: Misspellings or blurry labels are red flags.

Are Muha Meds Carts Legal?

This depends on where you live. In states where cannabis is recreationally or medically legal, Muha Meds Carts are available at licensed dispensaries. Always check your local laws before purchasing.

That said, Muha Meds has faced scrutiny in the past for operating in legal gray areas. They’ve since made efforts to legitimize their brand, ensuring their products meet strict quality and safety standards. As always, when dealing with cannabis products, it’s important to be an informed consumer.

User Reviews: What Are People Saying?

Across online forums, Reddit threads, and review sites, the buzz around Muha Meds Carts is mostly positive.

Pros:

Fast-acting and strong THC high

Great flavor variety

High-quality oil

Smooth pulls with little to no clogging

Cons:

Higher price point than generic carts

Risk of counterfeit products in the black market

Availability can be limited depending on location

One Reddit user wrote, “I’ve tried a lot of carts, but Muha Meds hits different. I felt it in like two pulls. Apple Jack is my go-to now.”

Best Practices for Using Muha Meds Carts

To get the best experience with your Muha Meds Cart, follow these quick tips:

Store Upright: Keep your cart upright to prevent leaks and clogging.

Low Voltage is Better: Start at a low voltage setting (2.5–3.0V) for smooth hits and better flavor.

Keep It Clean: Occasionally wipe the contact area with a Q-tip dipped in alcohol to maintain connectivity.

Don’t Overuse: THC tolerance builds fast. Pace yourself to avoid diminishing effects.

Where to Buy Muha Meds Carts

Always buy from reputable sources. If you're in a legal state, look for licensed dispensaries. You can also check the Muha Meds official website for a list of authorized retailers or use their verification tool before buying from a new vendor.

Never buy from sketchy online sellers, social media ads, or street vendors—there’s a high chance you’ll end up with a fake.

Final Thoughts: Are Muha Meds Carts Worth It?

If you're after a high-quality vape cart that delivers strong effects, a smooth hit, and bold flavor, Muha Meds Carts are definitely worth considering. They combine premium oil, stylish packaging, and a wide variety of flavors to suit every preference.

Just be cautious of counterfeit products, always check authenticity, and ensure you're buying from trusted vendors. When used responsibly, Muha Meds Carts offer one of the best THC vaping experiences available in today’s market.

FAQs About Muha Meds Carts

Q: Are Muha Meds Carts safe? A: Authentic Muha Meds Carts are lab-tested and safe when purchased from a licensed source. Always verify with the QR code.

Q: How long does one cart last? A: It depends on usage, but a full gram cart can last several days to weeks for moderate users.

Q: Can I refill a Muha Meds Cart? A: Technically yes, but it’s not recommended. Refilling can affect performance and safety.

Q: Are Muha Meds available in all states? A: No, they are only legally available in states with licensed cannabis programs.

Muha Meds Carts have earned their reputation in the vape world for a reason. With top-tier oil, strong THC levels, and irresistible flavors, they offer something that casual users and cannabis connoisseurs alike can appreciate. Just stay vigilant about authenticity, and you’ll enjoy one of the best vaping products on the market today.

[iprogrammersolutions]

Looking to streamline your construction operations? Watch how Odoo Construction Management can transform your project workflows, resource allocation, site coordination, and cost tracking — all in one powerful, integrated platform.

In this video, we demonstrate how Odoo for Construction Companies can handle everything from planning and scheduling to vendor management and real-time project tracking with absolute efficiency. Whether you're managing residential, commercial, or large-scale infrastructure projects, Odoo’s modular capabilities adapt to your business needs.

Key Features of Odoo Construction Project Management covered:

✔️ Project Planning & Milestone Tracking ✔️ Real-time Progress Monitoring ✔️ Purchase and Inventory Management ✔️ Employee Timesheet & Attendance ✔️ Equipment Tracking ✔️ Vendor and Subcontractor Management ✔️ Cost Control & Budget Analysis ✔️ Document Management and Reporting

As official Odoo Ready Partners, iProgrammer Solutions Pvt. Ltd. brings years of expertise in implementing tailored Odoo solutions for the construction industry. Our experts ensure seamless Odoo integration that matches your business workflows and scales with your projects.

Ready to streamline your construction operations? Visit our website to explore how we can implement Odoo for your construction company

Get in touch for customized Odoo implementation strategies built specifically for your construction needs.