#Vice of nuts n bolts

[burntheedges]

Falling For You - Part 3

Joel Miller x f!reader | 10.6k | 18+ | masterlist | fic masterlist | ao3

fic summary: Joel Miller gave up on the idea of a soulmate at least 20 years and one apocalypse ago. But it turns out the universe hasn't given up on him quite yet.

Part 3: Joel and Ellie made a deal to live, and it turns out there's a bit more left for Joel in this life than he expected.

a/n: annnd we're here! Part 3 of 3. This is the end. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing this AU. I love these two. see tags/warnings below and check the fic masterlist for the full tags. Thank you again @katareyoudrilling for being the best beta!! 🧡

tags/warnings for part 3: fluff, angst, more family fluff, hand holding, dancing, Joel Miller can dance I don't know what to tell you, ogling, kissing, teasing, flirting, so much flirting, pet names (darlin', beautiful, sweetheart, baby), public cuddling? is that tag, smut (kissing, groping, fondling, grinding, oral (f!receiving), p-in-v sex)

Part 3

Joel had never felt like this before.

He walked out of the shop with his hands tingling, mind spinning, tracing back over the ways she’d touched him. The way she’d reached out and held his hand and he hadn’t wanted to pull away, hadn’t wanted to run. He’d wanted to stay right there on that couch, with her, and let her hold his hand. He’d wanted to reach out and touch.

His soulmate.

Something about the way she’d looked at him…

He blinked. He found himself standing frozen in the middle of the road, halfway back to the office. No one seemed to have noticed him standing there, but he hurried forward.

When she touched him it was like sinking into something warm. Something familiar. He had no idea how much time had passed while he was at the shop — no idea how long her gaze had held his and pinned him in place on that couch. How had she done it?

Joel couldn’t believe he’d said all of that. He’d told her, somehow, told her everything, and now he was walking the street in a daze. Something about her, her smile, her warmth, put him so at ease that he hadn’t even hesitated. 

His eyes caught on his reflection in a shop as he passed. He looked down and realized his hands were clenched into fists. He couldn’t feel it. He couldn’t feel anything but the pounding of his heart and the vice-like squeeze around his lungs.

He didn’t know how to do this.

…

That night on the walk home from dinner, Joel finally managed to get it out.

“Talked to Bolts, today,” he said, and ignored how he sounded like he was being strangled by his own feelings.

Ellie lit up. “Yeah?? And?”

He shrugged. “And nothin’. We’re havin’ lunch tomorrow. Gettin’ to know each other.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Nothing? Were you grumpy at her? I told you your face will get stuck like that.”

He rolled his eyes and swiped over her hair before she could dodge, messing it up. He smiled when she squawked in protest. “You makin’ fun of my natural sunny disposition?”

Ellie poked him in the side and he bent in half with a played-up oof. “Sunny? Sure, Joel. More like cloudy. And thundery.”

He laughed and shook his head. Ellie always knew how to make him laugh. “We just talked. I apologized for takin’ so long. ‘N I told her I told you, so it’s not a secret. Just don’t go botherin’ her about it.”

Ellie gasped dramatically. “Are you calling me a bother?”

Tommy had called her “a bother” a few days before and then had to explain what he meant when Ellie had responded that’s a verb, duh. Her vocabulary was expanding in the most unexpected ways.

“Isn’t bother your middle name?” Joel asked mildly, and raised his eyebrows when gasped again. “Ellie Bother Williams, ain’t it?”

Ellie started coming up with middle names for him in retaliation – Grumpy, or maybe Grandpa. No, Old Man! – and he smiled the whole way home.

…

Joel arrived at Nuts ‘n Bolts just before noon the next day, lunch carefully tucked into a canvas bag he’d borrowed from Tommy. He took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders before stepping inside.

“Hello?” he called over the tinkling of the bell over the door. As he glanced around he marveled again at how good Bolts was at her job.

“In the back!” she called. “Same spot as yesterday. Lock the door, would you?”

Joel smiled as he turned and locked the door behind him before heading back. “That ain’t gonna be a problem?” He took his time remembering the way through the maze of shelves but found it easier than he expected.

“Nah,” Bolts called, and he could hear her smile. “People know if the door is locked to come back later. If it’s an emergency they’ll knock.”

He turned the last corner and found Bolts tugging a low coffee table towards the loveseat. “Hi Joel,” she said brightly, and he smiled. “I usually keep this in the office but I figured we’d need it. Might work better here, anyway.”

He looked around. “There’s an office, too?”

She stood up straight and waved her hand to the right. “It’s over there. It’s pretty tiny, but it’s helpful to have a place to keep the inventory. That’s mostly what it’s for.” She gestured for him to come closer and he set the bag down on the table. “What’d you bring?”

“Sandwiches. Nothing fancy, but Priya over at the dinin’ hall told me you’d like ‘em.” Joel felt suddenly nervous at his admission. 

Sure enough, Bolts looked up at him from where she’d just sat on the loveseat. “You told her it was for me?” She sounded hesitant, but she hadn’t lost her smile.

He nodded. “Yeah, um, might’ve said we were havin’ lunch.”

She grinned. “It’s ok, Joel, Priya’s not much of a gossip. You’re just lucky Artie wasn’t there. It woulda been around town before dinner.”

He laughed and moved forward to take a seat. “Didn’t even think about it, honestly. Just wanted to make sure you’d like it.” Now that he was thinking about it he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of it then. He felt a sudden tightness in his chest and took a deep breath to ease it. 

“Thank you,” Bolts said, and he glanced at her. She was smiling down at her hands. “Shall we?”

Joel nodded and started to get the food out. He divvied everything up and relaxed back into his seat as they dug in.

“Priya was right, this is my favorite,” Bolts told him when she opened the cloth wrapping around her sandwich. “Thank you.”

“‘Course,” he said. He felt awkward, suddenly, and cast around in his mind for something to say. The silence grew longer as he stared down at his sandwich. He took a bite to stall and glanced over at her again.

She was already looking at him. “What, am I suddenly scary?” She was smiling, but he thought he could see a little bit of worry around her eyes.

Joel shook his head, setting his sandwich down in his lap. “No. And yes. You’re not scary, but this whole thing…” He sighed. “I just… don’t know how to do this.”

“Me neither, Joel,” she said, and reached out to take his hand. As soon as she touched him he felt it again. “It’s the first time for both of us, right? Never had a soulmate before.”

He smiled and felt himself relax a bit more, and marveled at how she made it sound so easy. Her hand was warm in his and he squeezed it lightly. “Alright. Maybe we’ll figure it out together.”

“We will,” she agreed, and squeezed his hand before taking her hand back to eat. “So, you were a contractor before, right?” 

“That’s right. What about you?” He settled in and watched as she smiled a bit wistfully before she answered.

“I worked at a hardware store through college,” she said, “but after I finished I was working as an engineer.”

His eyebrows flew upwards. “An engineer? Why’re you–”

“I know, I know,” she cut him off, laughing. “Why am I working in here? Well, not a lot of need for robotics, nowadays.” She shrugged. “I help out with stuff where I can. I helped with the dam, even though I never did much with hydraulics. But this?” She waved a hand, gesturing at her shop. “This I’m good at. Got years of experience, after all.”

He nodded. “You are good at it.” Bolts looked suddenly shy, and he smiled. “You are. I could tell even before we met, just from the way you do your work. Too smart for me by half.”

“Joel–”

“It’s true.” He nudged her foot with his boot. “Did you tell Ellie you worked in robotics?”

Bolts grinned. “Not yet. I’ve been saving it for a rainy day.”

He laughed, and a warm feeling settled inside of him at the knowledge that Ellie had someone else who knew her well enough to know she’d freak out. In a good way. “Can I be there, too?”

She eyed him. “We’ll see.” He could hear the tease in her tone. 

Soulmates, huh? he mused to himself. He couldn’t deny it – she made him smile. Made him want to smile. He couldn’t get the smile off his face for the rest of the day.

…

Joel went back for lunch twice more that week, and then once over the weekend.

By the next week they were having lunch almost every day, and he found himself thinking of her all the time. He’d be doing some demo or working on some wiring and realize he’d completely stopped moving, lost in his thoughts, smiling at nothing at all. 

Thinking only of her, of her smile, of the curve of her neck when she ducked her head, of the way her nose scrunched when she laughed, of the warmth of her hands in his. The ease he felt every time he reached out to touch, so foreign and unexpected. The way she’d clung to his hand when she told him more about her brother, and the way she’d made him feel able to talk about Tess at all. The softness of her gaze when he confessed how worried he was about doing right by Ellie. The light in her eyes when he told her he was happy Ellie had found in her another person she could trust. The way they both seemed to know exactly how to be there for each other already. 

Sometimes when he looked at her, he could hear the echo of their music playing in his mind. 

He didn’t know he could still feel like this. He was trying to savor it, to actually let himself enjoy it, and it wasn’t nearly as hard as he’d expected.

…

A few weeks after their first lunch, he convinced Bolts to come see a few of the houses he was working on, the ones she’d heard all about already.

“Have to admit, I’ve been curious,” she said as they stepped inside the house he and the team had just finished working on the day before. “I know these were pretty run down…” she trailed off, looking around, mouth dropped open. “Joel! This looks amazing!”

She moved to the middle of the living room and turned in place, taking in the changes they’d made – some new paint, of course, but under that repairs to the walls, a new beam in the roof, and repaired wooden flooring. They’d fixed up the windows and made the fireplace operational. She was grinning and she hadn’t even seen the kitchen yet.

“This is some good work, Joel,” she started to wander further into the house. “I mean, you know the guys, they had some experience. But with you and Tommy together?” She disappeared around the corner into the kitchen but poked her head back around the doorway and grinned at him. “Well, this is a whole new thing.”

He smiled. “Yeah?”

She nodded. “I’m impressed.” She disappeared around the corner again and he heard her make an “oooh” noise in the kitchen.

He felt a warmth filling his chest – of course he liked that she liked it, that she was impressed, but really he just liked the way she looked at him. During their lunches and now, she looked at him and seemed to really see him. It was heady. He could feel himself getting lost in it.

It had been that type of knowing look that had hooked him with Tess, back in the beginning. She’d always seen straight through him. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised, he mused. Thinking of her still hurt, but he was pretty sure he could hear Tess yelling at him – you better not be thinking of wallowing, Miller.

Joel followed behind Bolts and turned into the kitchen to find her marveling at the back window. “Was this like this before?” she asked without turning. It was a big picture window, they’d been lucky to find the glass intact.

“It was, but the frame was rotted. And it was pretty dirty, ‘course.”

She turned to look at him, still grinning, and took a step forward. They were looking at each other, and so they were both surprised when she stumbled over a stray bit of flooring. 

“Oh–” she started, and put her hands out in front of her. Without even thinking about it, Joel stepped forward. 

He caught her, arms wrapped around her middle, firmly holding her up. She was leaning forwards, hands on his shoulders where they’d landed as she fell, toes still on the floor but not holding all of her weight.

Her face was inches from his, and for a moment they just stared at each other. He slowly became aware of all the ways she was pressed against him and felt his face start to get hot.

“Thank you,” she breathed, and his gaze traveled across her face, tracing the lines of her eyebrows and cheeks and jaw, and finally coming to rest on her lips. Every thought, every word, flew from his mind.

Without consciously deciding to do it, Joel leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. 

She kissed him back instantly, and the moment their lips touched, he heard it again.  

He lost himself in it, in the music, in all the new sensations – the feeling of her body against his, the softness of her lips, the warmth of her in his arms. When she broke away with a gasp, he realized they were both breathing hard. He leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers and took a deep breath.

“Darlin’,” he murmured, and smiled when she tightened her arms around his neck. She liked it when he called her that, and just knowing that she liked it lit up something inside of him that had gone out when he lost Tess. He thought it had gone out forever, but now it raced through his veins, setting him on fire from the inside out. “Never thought I’d feel like this again.”

At some point in the last few minutes she’d gotten her feet underneath her and she was steady in his arms. She hummed and he felt it in his chest. “Me neither, Joel.”

He nudged his nose against hers and smiled. “Sorry I’m so slow,” he said, already regretting the fact that he knew he shouldn’t go further than this. Not right then. Even though he wanted to. Even though he could feel her against him and wanted nothing more than to take her hips in his hands and squeeze, tug her forwards and–

“It’s ok,” she said, interrupting his runaway thoughts, and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. He felt it like a lightning bolt to the chest. “I get it.”

Joel wanted more, though. And he thought he might be ready for it. “Can I take you out?”

Bolts pulled back to look at him, but neither of them released their hold on each other. From just a few inches away, she smirked at him. “Sure,” she said, and he could hear that she was teasing him. He smiled. “To one of our commune’s many fine dining options?”

He laughed. “I was thinkin’ maybe to the Bison. Get a drink, maybe dance a little?”

A wide smile broke across her face. “Joel Miller, do you dance?”

The smirk that took over his face felt both familiar and not, like he was stretching a muscle he hadn’t used in decades. But it also felt right, it felt easy to flirt with her, to tease her back. His soulmate. “Well, darlin’, why don’t you let me take you out and see for yourself?”

…

Joel was taking you dancing.

Joel Miller was going to take you dancing. 

You’d been floating on air ever since he asked, ever since he kissed you. And that kiss…

It had been soft and warm and hot and you hadn’t wanted to pull away, hadn’t wanted to do anything other than let him press you against the wall and do it again. And again. 

You’d had to stop, but you were pretty sure there was going to be more kissing in your future. You thought of little else as the days passed until Friday night. You kept finding yourself humming a familiar tune, lost in the music, mind across town rather than in your work. You had no idea how you’d wait until Friday for drinks at the Bison and dancing. 

By the time Friday rolled around, you’d had to re-sort a new delivery of screws three times because of your own inability to think of anything other than Joel Miller’s lips. And his hands. And the way his shoulders had felt under your hands, the way his hair had curled around your fingers. The way his face softened when he smiled at you, and the way he’d smirked at you when he’d teased you about dancing.

You looked down at the pile of screws in the box in front of you and sighed. You were going to have to do this later, you were absolutely useless.

At that exact moment, Maria popped her head around the side of a shelf, eyebrow raised.

“Shit!” you said, startled. “I didn’t hear you come in!” You took a slow, deep breath to calm your racing heart.

“I noticed,” she said, tone wry. “I called your name and you didn’t respond.”

You sighed. “Sorry, I’m distracted.” You stretched your neck from side to side, feeling some tension release from your shoulders. You must have been hunched over the box for a while. 

She laughed. “I bet! Why are you still here? You can close up shop and go home, get ready.”

You shook your head. “I’ve still got like four hours, Maria, if I go home I’ll be even more useless than I am here.”

Maria clicked her tongue at you. “Well, then, you’re coming home with me. Come on.” She took the box of screws away from you and placed it to the side of your workbench. “I’ll feed you and then distract you while you get ready.”

“I knew you were my best friend for a reason,” you said, and she laughed again. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll pay me back with babysitting.”

You looped your arm through hers as you walked towards the front. “You don’t have to barter with me for that, you know I’ll do it for free.”

Dinner with Maria was exactly the distraction you needed, and after she helped you pick your outfit, you were feeling much better. Still nervous, as you watched the clock and waited for Joel to arrive, but better. 

When Joel knocked on the door, your heart rate picked right back up again.

You opened it to find him looking extremely handsome on the other side, in a dark green, button-up shirt that fit him like a glove, and jeans that you were certain were doing nice things for his ass, even though you couldn’t see it yet. His hair was tousled and styled and you wanted to dig your fingers into it.

He was looking at you, eyes wide. “You’re beautiful,” he said, voice low and sincere. 

You smiled. “You’re looking pretty handsome, there, yourself.”

Joel reached forward and tangled his fingers with yours. “You ready?”

You nodded and let him tug you out the door. As you walked to the Bison, he told you Ellie was having movie night with Tommy and Maria.

“I heard,” you said, smiling. “I had dinner with Maria, she told me Ellie and Tommy have been talking about it all week.”

Joel rolled his eyes and you laughed. “They love those space movies.”

You gasped, playfully. “You don’t? Joel, they’re classics!”

He sighed, and you felt something fizzing inside of you, light and airy. You loved teasing him like that, especially because he would tease you right back every time. Flirting with Joel was so easy and you marveled a little at how quickly you’d become used to it.

He squeezed your hand. “Not you, too?” He shook his head. 

You teased him more as you walked, and before you knew it he was holding open the door of the Tipsy Bison for you. As you stepped inside you noted the Friday night crowd with a few couples already dancing in the middle of the floor. 

“Let’s find a table,” Joel said, leaning in so he could speak lowly in your ear. You shivered as his hand came to rest against your lower back. “And then I’ll grab us some drinks.”

You settled in at the table you found and let yourself watch him as he moved across the room. Your eyes caught on his shoulders and slipped down the curve of his back to – I knew it – the nice outline of his ass in those jeans.

You smiled to yourself. Right at that moment, Joel turned to glance at you and caught you looking. He smirked.

“What,” you mouthed, trying to look innocent. He grinned, and you smiled back. He began moving back across the room towards you, drinks in hand, and you didn’t hide the way you checked him out as he got closer.

“See somethin’ you like, darlin’?” he teased as he sat down across from you at your small table. His knee nudged yours and you took the chance to hook one of your ankles around his.

“Maybe,” you said, and took a sip of your drink. “Maybe I’m taking a page out of your book with those jeans.”

He reached across the table, suddenly looking a bit shy, and tangled your fingers together. “Yeah?”

You leaned forward, eyes darting across his face. He has to know, you thought, and decided to tell him just in case. “Joel, you are very handsome,” you said, tone sincere. “Hot, even. So freaking hot.”

Joel’s eyebrows flew up, and you wanted to lean forwards and kiss his cheek that had just turned a bit pink. “Me?”

“You,” you said, nodding. “I might’ve had to completely start over with some inventory I was doing earlier because I was thinking about it.”

Joel looked at you and then suddenly stood up. You blinked, wondering if you’d said something wrong, but before you could even fully form the thought he sat down next to you on your side of the booth.

He nudged you over with his hip and curled his arm behind you on the seat. He leaned in, and you could feel his lips brush against the shell of your ear when he murmured, “thinkin’ about what, darlin’?”

You shivered, again, and this time you knew he noticed. “You,” you said, your eyes meeting his. He leaned back, but not far, and you were so close you could feel his breath tickling your jaw. “Your smile. The way your eyes crinkle when you laugh.” He laughed, a bit taken aback. “Just like that,” you said, smiling. “Your hands.” You looked down and watched as his free hand slid onto your knee. “Your arms. Your shoulders.”

“You said that before,” he said, looking down to either side at his own body. “My shoulders?”

You nodded. “You are very broad, Joel. It really does it for me.”

He laughed. “Well, darlin’, everythin’ about you does it for me. Everythin’,” he repeated when you opened your mouth. You closed it again and he nodded. “God, you’re so smart, so good at what you do, you know that? And then on top of that you’re funny?” He leaned in and hummed, pressing his lips to your jaw in soft kisses. “And you’re so fuckin’ beautiful. Takes my breath away.”

“Joel,” you breathed, and your breath hitched when he kissed the corner of your mouth. You turned to kiss him fully but he leaned back.

“Dance with me, darlin’?” He held out a hand for you, expression open, eyes full of hope. You took his hand.

“Where’d you get these moves, Joel Miller?” you teased as he pulled you to standing. 

He shrugged, eyes bright. “Come over here and find out.”

He led you onto the dance floor, and you realized a more upbeat song was playing. He maneuvered you into a position you’d seen other people take before – other people who knew what they were doing.

“Uh, Joel,” you said, suddenly realizing you’d never brought up your less than extensive experience with dancing. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

He just smiled and tucked you more securely in his arms. “Don’t worry, darlin’, we’ll start slow. I’ve got you.”

And he did. Joel showed you the steps, slowly at first, and then speeding up a bit when you caught on. He led you carefully around your little corner of the dance floor. You could tell, just from his movements, that he was very good at this. 

Once it felt like your feet didn’t need your full attention, you asked, “where’d you learn to dance like this?”

Joel turned you and you looked down at your feet again. “Been dancin’ like this since we were kids,” he said. “Me ‘n Tommy. Learned from our family. Our mom’s side was huge, we had so many cousins. Every family gatherin’ had dancin’. A bit of this, a bit of that. Everybody was two-steppin’, we’d dance to anythin’. And my aunts loved bachata. Had a cousin that used to teach salsa lessons.”

“Wow,” you said, impressed. “Can you do those, too?”

He laughed. “Haven’t in years, but I probably still know the steps somewhere up here.” He tilted his head. “This is goin’ well enough and I haven’t two-stepped in more than 20 years.”

“Well, I’m impressed,” you said, and you really were. He was leading you seemingly effortlessly, after all, and you’d been pretty sure you were a terrible dancer just 10 minutes ago.

He taught you a few more moves, and before you knew it you were twirling and breathless as he showed you what he could do. Your head was spinning from the feeling of his hands guiding you, his body pressing against yours, his voice murmuring instructions and praise in your ear. That’s it, darlin’, just like that. You were dizzy from it, from Joel.

After a few songs you stepped back, ready for a break. “Let’s sit,” you said, and Joel followed easily behind you back towards your table. He slid in next to you in the booth without hesitating. 

“Joel, that was amazing,” you said, after taking a long sip of your drink. “We’re going to do that again, right?”

He laughed, looking very pleased. “Whenever you want, darlin’. Might be sore tomorrow, but it'll be worth it.”

You turned in your seat to look at him and ignored it when your knee came to rest atop his thigh. He dropped his free hand onto your leg again. It was big and warm and the tips of his fingers were touching your inner thigh.

“Joel,” you said, leaning forward. Your eyes dropped to his lips. “I like dancing with you.”

“I like dancin’ with you, too, darlin’,” he said, leaning forward. “Like it quite a bit.”

You took a breath, and then took a leap. “Liked kissing you, too,” you said, meeting his eyes. 

“Did you?” he murmured, and his eyes were dark as he leaned even closer.

“I did,” you said, and he hummed.

“Didn’t want to stop kissin’ you,” he said, nudging his nose against yours.

“Me neither,” you breathed. “Joel?”

“Yeah, darlin?” He pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, and you sighed.

“Wanna get out of here?”

Joel leaned back slowly, eyes dancing over your face. “You mean–”

“Come home with me?” You could hear the hope in your voice. Please say yes.

“Darlin’--” 

You could hear the hesitation in his voice, and your stomach dropped. You cut him off. “No, I mean, it’s ok, I know you said slow, Joel, I’m sorry–”

“Hey,” he said, voice soft. He cupped your face in his palm and titled it gently upwards until you met his eyes. “Hey, I was goin’ to say – yes. I’d love to. I just can’t stay over, I promised Ellie I’d be home. Didn’t want you to think that meant I didn’t wish I could.”

You let out a breath, relieved. “Oh, no I totally understand.” You laughed, a bit embarrassed. “I thought you were going to say–”

“No, darlin’,” he interrupted, leaning forward to kiss you once, gently. When he leaned back he ran his thumb over your cheekbone. “You got no idea how much I want to go home with you.”

You grinned. “Well, then. Let’s get out of here.”

…

You flirted all the way home. 

It felt like a first crush, dizzy and disorienting in the best way. He teased you and you laughed, he slipped his arm around your waist and you pressed a quick kiss to his scruffy jaw. 

By the time you stepped onto your front porch your entire body was buzzing like a live wire. 

Joel crowded behind you as you unlocked the door and you sighed when you felt his lips trail down the side of your neck. 

“Joel—“ you sighed. Your breath hitched when he kissed you, right behind your ear. 

“Let’s get inside, darlin’,” he said, voice deep and gravely. You shivered as you opened the door. 

He tucked his arms around you and followed right behind you as you stepped inside. Before you could even blink you found yourself with your back to your closed front door, Joel smirking at you with his left forearm resting on the door over your head. His right hand slid down to your ass. He squeezed. 

“Hey there, beautiful,” he said. He leaned in and kissed you softly. 

“Hi,” you murmured, chasing after him when he pulled away. He looked at you, dark eyes dancing over your face. Warmth was coiling inside of you just from the way he couldn’t keep his eyes off you. 

You felt like a starry-eyed teenager, like someone feeling everything for the first time, but also like everything was somehow familiar. You’d never kissed him before, and you’d kissed him a hundred times. The touch of his fingers sliding under your shirt was new, but you knew them. It felt like something beloved that was coming back to you, only just forgotten. The way his body fit with yours had you teetering over the edge of something huge and new, but it wasn’t scary. 

You knew what you’d find at the bottom of that drop. It had been waiting for you all along, just out of reach. Like you’d just been waiting for the right moment to fall. 

Joel’s eyes fell to your lips again and you smiled. “Can I touch you, darlin’?” He asked, and you nodded. 

“Please,” you said, and he smirked. 

“Since you asked so nicely,” he teased, pulling you from the door and walking backwards towards your couch. “C’mere, beautiful.” Joel dropped down onto the couch. He pulled you towards him as if he wanted you to sit next to him, but you straddled his lap instead.

“Well hello there,” he said warmly, hands drawn like magnets to your hips. He squeezed. 

You grinned. “Hi,” you said, and wrapped your arms around his neck. 

“You know, darlin’, I’ve been thinkin’ about this,” he said, tugging you closer and leaning in to kiss your neck.

You hummed. “This?”

Joel traced his lips along the line of your neck and teased with his teeth behind your ear. You wondered if he was leaving a mark. “Pullin’ you into my lap on that loveseat. Touchin’ you. Gonna be hard not to do this in the shop, now that I know how nice it feels. Never gonna get any work done.”

You dug your fingers into his soft hair and ground forward with your hips. His breath hitched and you smiled. “Well, the door of the shop does lock,” you said, voice teasing. 

He laughed. “That it does.” Before you could say anything else, he leaned forward and kissed you.

You lost yourself in it instantly. His grip on your hips tightened as his mouth moved against yours. When his tongue teased against your lips, you shivered.

Joel tugged your hips forward and you felt the growing evidence of his interest under you. He was big. He shifted one hand to your back, sliding it upwards until he could cup the back of your neck. 

You realized your hips were moving, rocking in a rhythm you’d started without consciously deciding to. Joel broke off and pressed soft, warm kisses down your neck until he reached your collar. “You feel so good, sweetheart,” he said, and you almost moaned at the new endearment. The hand on your hip slid under your shirt and up your side. “Shit.”

“I love the way your hands feel, Joel,” you said, almost burning under his touch. 

“Yeah?” he said, and you could hear the smile in his voice from where his face was buried in your neck. 

“Mm-hmm,” you said, nodding. 

“Well, I like touchin’ you with ‘em,” he said, voice a low murmur. “Can I touch you more?”

You used your grip on his hair to turn his head just right so that you could kiss him. “Yes, please.”

Before the word was fully out of your mouth, he cupped your breast in one hand and unbuttoned your pants with the other. “Lemme make you feel good, darlin’.” Joel slid his hand inside your pants and cupped you. It felt like your entire body flashed hot, suddenly alive. 

“Joel–” you said, but cut yourself off on a sharp inhale when he rubbed his thumb over your nipple.

He hummed. “That’s it, sweetheart,” he said, nibbling a mark just above your collarbone. “Let me hear it.” You moaned when his fingers nudged your underwear to the side and teased along your slit. “‘S that good?” he murmured. 

You nodded. Joel twisted his fingers and almost instantly found your clit. You gasped.

“You feel so good, you know that?” he said. His flingers slid down to tease around your entrance while his thumb took over working you up. “Show me how you like it, darlin’.”

You did – you moved against his hand until you had it just right, and you sucked in a sharp breath when he curled his fingers upwards. Your heart was beating so fast you thought it might beat right out of your chest. 

“Just like that, huh?” He said, voice low and deep as he watched you. “Let me see it, yeah?”

He moved his hand faster and you tilted forward to rest your forehead against his. “Joel—“ you breathed, and he smiled. Your world narrowed to the places he was touching you and the warmth of his gaze, everything else faded away as he drove you to the edge. 

“Yeah, darlin’. Come for me, I wanna see it. Bet you look so beautiful when you do. Come on,” he urged, lips brushing against yours. With every word you felt it stoking higher inside of you, pushing you upwards towards a fall you knew you’d never come back from. It was lighting up your spine and tingles all over your body and you couldn’t get enough. 

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he murmured. He pressed down with his thumb in a tight circle and quirked his fingers just right, and you did. It hit you like a wave that washed over you from head to toe and swept you out to sea. You lost time, adrift on the perfect sensations he wrought from you, until you came back to yourself gasping. 

Joel was still talking. “I knew it,” he said between hot kisses down your neck. “Knew you’d be fuckin’ breathtakin’.”

You grabbed both sides of his face between your palms and pulled him into a kiss. He hummed into your mouth and you couldn’t help but thrust your hips downward against his hand. The sudden overstimulation made you whine. 

Without another thought, you slid both palms down his chest and to his jeans, unbuttoning them. “I need to touch you,” you said, voice rough. 

To your delight, Joel shivered in response. “By all means, darlin’,” he said, smiling. “Ain’t nothin’ I want more.” As you slid his zipper down he pulled you into a kiss. “Been thinkin’ about it,” he murmured against your lips. 

“Me too,” you said, and gripped his cock in your fist. 

Joel made a very gratifying noise. 

“Hmm, I like the sound of that,” you teased, twisting your palm around the head. His eyes opened and he looked dazed. “How do you like it?”

He reached down and squeezed your hand just a bit tighter. “That’s perfect, darlin’, I—“ he sucked in a sharp breath when you reached down with your free hand to cup his balls. “Shit, that’s good. Fuck me.”

“Not right now but you bet your ass I’m getting this inside me sooner rather than later.” You grinned when he laughed, just once, looking a bit taken aback and very turned on. You like to laugh during sex, so it was probably good he learned that now. 

You sped up a bit and watched as he completely lost himself in it. His cock hardened deliciously in your hands and you leaned in to kiss him, imagining all the things you could do together. 

He groaned when your tongue teased his. 

“C’mon, baby,” you said softly, kissing him again. “Get me all messy.” 

Joel thrust his hips upwards at your words and, with your name on his lips, he came. 

His cock pulsed in your hands and you watched the bliss wash over his face with a smile. 

“Fuck,” he said again, collapsing back against the couch with his head thrown back. “That’s already so good, anything more might kill us.”

You laughed. “Speak for yourself, old man.”

He tilted his head back up and smiled at you. “You are not that much younger than me, darlin’. Did I not tire you out?” He pulled you in for a kiss. “I’ll have to go for another next time, then.” He squeezed your ass and you realized at some point in the last few minutes he’d parked his hands there. “Maybe get my mouth on you.” You squirmed in his lap and he winked. “Ah, you like the sound of that?”

You laughed and kissed him again. 

“So,” he said, pulling back. “Baby, huh?”

You nodded. “Figured you've taken a bunch, better claim one fast.” He snorted and you grinned. “Like it?”

He cupped your face in one big hand and smiled softly. “I do.”

You leaned into his hand, just looking at him, and then moved forward and murmured, “good,” just before you kissed him. 

You made out softly for a few minutes, no urgency at all, soaking in the feeling of doing nothing but being there together. 

Finally you pulled away and tucked yourself into his shoulder with a happy sigh. He wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your head, and you were pretty sure you hadn’t felt this warm and happy in years. You almost dozed off, but Joel squeezed your hip gently, rousing you. 

“Hey,” he murmured, and you picked your head up off his shoulder to look at him. His face was open. “I’m real glad I found you here.”

You smiled and pressed a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. He turned his head towards you, lips brushing against yours as you said, voice soft, “me too, Joel.”

…

After that night, you saw Joel and Ellie almost every day.

You kept up your lunches, most days, and then he invited you to have dinner with them– with him and Tommy and Maria and Ellie. You’d been nervous at first, but it turned out there was no need – you and Ellie were friends, you spent time together almost every afternoon when she came to work in the shop, and somehow having dinner together with all of them felt like settling into a place you already belonged. Like so many things with Joel, it was so new and so familiar, all at once – it just felt right. And that was wonderful and terrifying at the same time.

Joel seemed to feel the same, as he’d told you that first day you had lunch together. It was scary, but it was also good, so good. And like you’d said to him, you were figuring it out together.

A few weeks after your date, after a couple more dates and many more lunches and dinners and easy afternoon walks and brief moments behind the locked doors of your shop, you were starting to trust in this new thing you’d found. 

You were humming while you worked, reorganizing some of the shelves to make room for some new inventory, when the bell tinkled. 

“In the back!” you called, and you smiled when you heard Ellie’s voice call out a greeting. A few seconds later her head appeared around the shelf to your right. You turned to smile at her but faltered when you saw the look on her face.

“Ellie? Are you ok?”

She frowned a bit and nodded. “Yeah, um. Can I talk to you about something?”

You straightened up and moved away from your workbench, nodding towards the back. “Come sit.”

She followed you, and when you turned back to look at her you started to worry. “Ellie, are you–”

She plopped down on the seat next to you and sighed. “No, it’s ok. I mean, ugh.” She curled into herself a bit and crossed her arms. “I just… wanted to ask you something.”

“You can ask me anything,” you said immediately, voice firm.

She nodded, which made you feel a bit better. “I know.” she was quiet for a moment, and then continued, “ok, so, I was talking to Joel yesterday. And he said, um. Well I know you’re dating or whatever, and I’m happy about that. I promise. But he said, um, he said you…” she trailed off and you resisted the urge to say anything. You just nodded and gave her some space. She sighed. “I know that people who are together, I mean, obviously they live in the same house. That’s just normal. I get it. But I’m not…” she winced. “I’m not ready— I don’t—“

“Hey.” You couldn’t help but say something. “And that’s ok, Ellie, I–”

“No, listen,” she said, and she sounded so worried, you felt like something was squeezing your heart. “I don’t… I don’t want to take things away from Joel. I don’t want to be the reason he doesn’t get to have things, things he should have. He’s my…” she trailed off and bit her lip. “I don’t–”

“Ellie,” you said, gently. “Listen. You’re not taking anything away from Joel. You are his world, you know that? You’re his kid. You come first for both of us. And I think I get what you’re saying. But it doesn’t feel like we’re missing anything.” You smiled when she looked up at you. “I promise, it doesn’t.”

She frowned. “You don’t want to live with Joel?”

“Someday, sure,” you said, and nodded. “But we haven’t known each other that long. As much as we like each other, it’s still all pretty new. I’ve lived alone a long time, you know? Pretty set in my ways. And we have time.” You smiled. “Besides, dating is fun. I promise we’re happy just the way we are.”

She turned towards you and leaned her head against the back of the couch. She looked so young, curled up in front of you, and you felt suddenly proud and honored that she was comfortable coming to you with this. 

“Ok,” she said, “I believe you. And I’m not, like, against the idea, it’s just–”

“You’re not ready,” you said, and she nodded. “And that’s ok. There’s no deadline here, you know? We’re not on a schedule, and it’s ok if you’re never ready.”

She sighed. “I don’t think it’ll be never.” Ellie finally smiled, and you felt it warm you from the inside. “Just.. not now.”

“Ellie, it could be never, and I’d still be here. For you and for Joel. I need you to know that. I don’t have to live with him to love him. Or you.” You took a deep breath, hoping that wasn’t too much. You hadn’t exactly said it to Joel yet, but you felt like she needed to hear it.

She swallowed, looking a bit choked up, which made two of you, because you were feeling a bit teary yourself. “For me?” she asked, clearly a bit overwhelmed. 

“For you, Ellie. Of course.” You reached out and squeezed her forearm gently. She twisted her arm so that she could grab your forearm from underneath and squeeze back. “Even without Joel, we’re friends, too. Right?”

She nodded. “Right.”

You smiled. “Right. I’m here for you, too. Besides, you’re the coolest kid I know, you have to keep me in the know about what the cool kids are doing these days.”

She laughed and leaned back, and you grinned, letting go of her arm. “Joel said you’d be cool with it, but I had to make sure. I just don’t– I don’t like feeling like he has to give stuff up for me. Because of me.”

You hummed. “I get that. But I don’t think he sees it that way, you know?” She shrugged and you shrugged back. It made her smile, which was the goal. “It’s not about him not getting to have things, it’s about giving you everything he wants you to have. And he wants you to have a lot, you know? Because he loves you. You’re family.”

Ellie blinked her eyes a few times, looking a bit lost. “He, um. A while ago, when we weren’t… he said he wasn’t my dad. But last night, he said, um.” She turned red and looked down.

“Did he say he was?” You brought your own knee up on the couch, half-mirroring her. 

She nodded. “Kinda. Said we’re family, and we don’t have to use the words for it to be true, not if I don’t want to. That he feels, knows that it’s true, either way.” She peeked up at you, still red, as if looking for confirmation.

“Well, he’s right, and he knows what it’s like to be a dad. He would know,” you said, smiling. “And Ellie, oh my God, he is such a dad. But you don’t ever have to use the words for it to be true, for the two of you to know it and trust it.” 

She seemed to turn that over for a minute, looking thoughtful. “I’ve never had a family,” she said in a small voice, and your heart broke. 

You poked her foot with yours. “You do now, though.”

Ellie finally looked up at you again and smiled. “Yeah. I guess I do.”

…

One year later

You walked quickly towards the other end of town, already racing against the clock but determined to eat lunch with Joel. You had a few more orders to get prepped before you headed over to the town meeting scheduled for just before dinner, and it was going to be tight.

(The meeting promised to be a boring one, with nothing scandalous or controversial on the agenda, but they were always more fun with Ellie and Joel on either side of you, muttering to each other under their breath and making you laugh until Maria glared at all three of you from her spot up at the front.

That’s what she got for wanting to be in charge.)

You spotted the house you knew Joel was working in and passed the rest of his team coming out as you stepped inside. 

“He’s upstairs in the back bedroom,” Stan told you, grinning at you as you passed. “Glad you’re here, he’s been grumpy today.”

You laughed. “He’s always grumpy on town meeting days.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Stan called, laughing too.

The stairs had been finished since the last time you were there, and you smiled as you climbed and ran your free hand up the now-polished railing. You looked left and right at the top of the stairs, not sure where to go next. “Joel?” you called.

“Back here, darlin’,” he called back from the left, and you turned to look for him. You found him all the way at the end in the last bedroom, moving a bed frame into place. “Hey there, beautiful,” he said, looking up when you walked in. “Just about done.”

He lined up the frame with the wall and stepped back, hands on his hips, looking over the room. “It’ll be nice to be done with this one, and I know the Martinez-Carlson clan is about to burst out of that two bedroom over by the school.”

“It looks great,” you said, setting down the bag with your lunches and stepping up beside him. He snaked his arm around your waist easily and you leaned in to his side. “As always.” You looked up at him and smiled. “And you know I like watching you lift heavy things.”

Joel laughed, cheeks a bit pink. You loved that teasing him still got him to blush like that. “Should I go do it again?”

You hummed. “Nah,” you said, turning into his arms. “I like you right where you are.”

“‘S that right,” he murmured, and then kissed you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned into it.

Joel broke away and smirked at you. “Thought we were havin’ lunch,” he said, and laughed when you tugged on his hair lightly.

“Well, I mean, if you’d rather eat than–” you squeaked as Joel turned you suddenly and pressed you against the wall beside the empty bed frame.

“Now, I don’t think I said anything of the sort, did I?” He teased before kissing you again. You sank into it, arms around his neck. The shape of him was warm and familiar against you and you felt the evidence of his interest against your hip.

He nudged one of his legs between yours and you tugged on his hair again. He pulled back but not far, pressing a line of kisses along your jaw and down your neck.

“Forget lunch,” he said, and you could hear the smile in his voice. “I got a better idea.” And he sank down to his knees.

You shivered. “Joel–”

He shook his head as he undid the button of your jeans, yanking them down unceremoniously. “Don’t you say a word about my knees. C’mere,” he said, helping you step out of your pants and underwear. He pushed you back into the wall with his left hand and lifted your left leg over his shoulder. “Now, let me take care of you, darlin’. Been thinkin’ about it all day.” 

Your head fell back against the wall and you gasped as he dove right in. He held your folds apart with his thumbs and licked from your entrance to your clit, soft and dizzying. He took you apart expertly with his tongue, circling the tip around your clit before pressing the flat of it down. By the time his fingers teased at your entrance you realized you were breathing hard with your hands tangled in his hair, holding his head in place.

“Fuck, baby,” you said, head spinning. “I’m– how–”

He thrust his fingers inside of you, setting a pace that you could barely wrap your mind around, while also keeping up a steady rhythm on your clit with his tongue. He was pressing all of your buttons at once and somehow you were already about to fly over the edge.

You tugged on his hair, but he didn’t let up, and you knew what he wanted. He wanted you to come so he could fuck you and make you come again on his cock.

Just the thought of it sent you flying.

“Joel–” you cried, and you would have fallen over if he wasn’t holding you up so firmly against the wall. Your orgasm crashed into you and you surrendered to it, unable to do anything but breathe as it sent lightning down your veins and shivers up your spine.

You tugged on his hair again, breathing hard, and he finally pulled back. You flopped your head forward to look at him and found him grinning up at you, way too fucking pleased with himself, face glistening. 

“You fucker,” you said, smiling at him. “I’ve never come that fast in my life.”

Joel laughed and leaned forward to kiss your hip. “Thought we were in a rush,” he said, and nipped at your hip. 

You squirmed. “C’mere, then, before your guys get back.”

He surged upwards and captured your mouth in a kiss while your hands dropped to undo his belt. “You and this damned belt buckle,” you complained, finally tugging his belt free. 

“You can’t fool me,” he said, leaning down to slip the neck of your shirt to the side so he could kiss your shoulder. “I know you like the way it looks.”

“Shut up and help me undo your pants,” you said, and he laughed. You reached inside and grasped his cock.

“Mmm,” he groaned, thrusting his hips forward. “I wanted you so bad this mornin’, darlin’. Can’t believe we slept late.”

You sighed as he grasped your hips and turned you around. “I know,” you agreed, flattening your palms against the wall and tilting your hips back. “You felt so good in bed, I didn’t want to get up.”

He pressed up behind you and you both sighed when his cock slipped between your thighs, nudging at your clit. “Right where I left off,” he murmured, and you smiled. You’d woken up to him wrapped around you in bed that morning, with his cock pressed against your back and his face buried in your neck. He’d just tugged your underwear down, ready to slip inside when Tommy had burst in through the front door and called for you both to come downstairs.

You were already plotting how you were going to get him back for that.

Your thoughts were brought back to the present when Joel notched his cock at your entrance. As he slipped inside, pressing forward, your mouth fell open. You pushed your hips back, reveling in the stretch of his cock.

“Fuck, darlin’,” Joel groaned, squeezing your hips and holding you in place as his hips came flush with yours. “You always feel so fuckin’ good.”

Joel braced his right hand against the wall, just above yours, and held your hip firmly in his left. “You ready?” he asked, and you nodded. He pulled almost all the way out and then filled you again in one quick thrust.

You gasped.

“Darlin’--” he said, sounding a bit worried, but you shook your head.

“Fuck me, Joel, just like that,” you demanded, and he laughed.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart,” he said, and started up a pace that had you seeing stars.

You pressed your palms into the wall and pushed your hips back to meet his thrusts. From the very first time you’d loved how he felt inside of you, and you never got over it.

He knew just how you liked it, fast and deep, hitting just right inside of you. You were breathless and tingling all over. Joel leaned forward and murmured in your ear, “you feel so good on my cock, darlin’. You know that? Can’t ever get enough of it.” He slipped his hand from your hip to wrap around you, sliding down to tease at your clit. “You gonna come for me again, beautiful?”

“Yes, Joel,” you said, breathing hard as he thrust forward again and circled his fingers around your clit. “Please–”

“Faster?” he asked, and you nodded. His hips sped up and so did his fingers and you lost yourself in it. Every thrust sent you spiraling higher, gasping for breath. “C’mon, darlin’,” he said, nipping at your neck behind your ear. “Let me feel you come on my cock.”

You squeezed him and his hips stuttered. You were so close.

“That’s it, darlin’,” he said, burying his face in your shoulder. “Come.”

You whined and pushed your hips back as you teetered over the edge for the second time in just a few minutes. You felt it rush through your body like a wildfire and squeezed his cock until he gasped, thrusting inside you as he came. 

For a moment you both just breathed, hard, and then Joel slumped forward onto you. You laughed as you staggered under his weight, though he wasn’t even really putting all of it on you. “Tired?” you asked, teasing.

He nodded into your shoulder. “Need a nap,” he groaned, and then slowly stood and pulled out. Your breath hitched as his cock slipped out of you. “Mm,” he hummed. “Messy down here.” You felt his fingers sliding between your folds and shivered.

“That’s enough of that,” you said, squirming, and he snorted as he pulled his fingers away gently. 

“You don’t want another?” he asked, turning you in his arms and gathering you to him. When you met his gaze it was warm, his happiness easy to see. 

You shook your head. “Pretty sure you’d knock me out with a third,” you laughed. “And I’ve got work to do.” You leaned forward to kiss him and he smiled against your lips. 

Just as he opened his mouth to say something, you heard the door open downstairs.

“Shit,” he said, and you both reached for your clothes. You dressed in record time, laughing, while Joel pretended to frown at you. “They’re gonna notice I haven’t eaten lunch yet.”

You laughed again. “Sounds like a you problem.”

He smiled, finally, and kissed you again. He tugged you into his arms one more time. “See you at home later, before the meeting?” he asked, tucking his face into your neck.

“Yeah, baby,” you replied, running your hands through his hair and trying to tidy it. He leaned back to look at you and you kissed him again, quick. “See you there.”

…

“Thank god that’s over,” Joel said as he stepped outside onto the road, groaning as he stretched. “Jesus, they can really talk.”

You laughed. “Joel, you didn’t even listen to a single thing anyone said after they finished talking about patrol training.”

He smirked at you. “You tellin’ me they said anything remotely interestin’ after that?”

Before you could respond Tommy stepped outside. He spotted you and immediately moved over to where you were standing nearby. He groaned. “Well thank god that’s over. You think they ever get tired of talkin’?”

You burst out laughing. You flung your hand out and tangled it in Joel’s flannel shirt to hold you up. 

“What’s this?” Tommy asked, and Joel scoffed.

“Don’t scoff, Joel Miller,” you said between laughs. “Not my fault the Miller genes run strong.” Joel sighed. You straightened and took a deep breath.

“Ohh-kay,” Tommy said, drawing out the first syllable. “Whatever. Y’all comin’ over for a drink?”

You shook your head. “We got plans.” You waggled your eyebrows at him, fighting a grin. 

Tommy made a disgusted face, just like you knew he would. Joel sighed again, but you could tell he was amused. “You know I got a delicate constitution. Why’re you doin’ this to me?” You laughed again. “Joel, why is she doin’ this to me?”

Joel shrugged. “You probably did somethin’ to deserve it.”

Tommy gasped, hand over his heart in shock. “My own brother? Betraying me?”

Before either of you could respond, Ellie popped up out of nowhere, grinning. “What’d Joel do now?”

You and Tommy both startled, but Tommy jumped about a foot in the air. Joel didn’t react at all, just smirked, and you figured he’d seen her coming. 

“Jesus, Ellie,” Tommy said, taking a deep breath. “I’m gonna put a bell on you.”

Ellie raised a single eyebrow at him. “You’ll never catch me.”

Tommy pointed at her. “You’ll never see me comin’.”

Ellie opened her mouth to start another patented Ellie-and-Tommy Show but someone called her name before she could really get going. You looked and found Dina and a couple other teenagers waving at her. “C’mon, Ellie!”

Ellie spun back around to look at you. “Gotta go!” She darted forward to give you a hug, and then Joel. You could see him fighting the urge to squeeze her tight. “I’ll see you at breakfast.”

He murmured something to her before he pulled away, and she grinned back at you both.

You reached out and tugged on her braid. “You know what to do if you need us?”

She rolled her eyes but nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I can come home if I need to, I know. I’ll only be one street over.”

You smiled. It was still kind of new, for all three of you to say home and mean the same place. You’d moved in just a few months ago, after Ellie had burst out with it at dinner one night (oh come on, Joel, she basically lives here anyway. Besides, she has better taste in movies than you, I need her for back up) and it made you feel warm inside every time you thought about it. And a little bit like you might cry. “I know. Have fun at your sleepover, Ells.”

“I will!” she said, smiling brightly. As she turned and ran over to her friends, you glanced at Joel. He was looking a bit misty-eyed. 

“She’ll be fine,” you said, nudging him with your elbow. 

He nodded and turned to look at you. “I know. Just–”

“Just worried,” you said for him, and he nodded. You smiled. “Bet I can take your mind off it.”

“Annnnd that’s my cue. I’m leavin’,” Tommy butted in. He shook his head, hands raised in front of him, palms out. “I don’t wanna hear anymore about that. Good night.”

You laughed as Tommy walked away, and turned to grin at Joel. 

“You ever gonna get tired of teasin’ him like that?” Joel asked, still smirking.

You hummed thoughtfully. “After all the times he and Maria couldn’t keep it in their pants and I stumbled across them? After the number of times I’ve seen your brother’s bare ass?” You shook your head. “Not any time soon.”

Joel laughed. “Alright, troublemaker, let’s get out of here.”

You let Joel lead you down the road towards your house, arm around your waist. You snaked your own around his middle, leaning into him as you walked. 

“Whole house to ourselves,” you said, smiling. You watched him out of the corner of your eye. He hummed. “First time in quite a while.”

“Sure is, darlin’,” Joel said, looking at you. 

You turned to look at him and smiled. He was still the most handsome person you’d ever seen. “What’re we going to do with it?

Joel pretended to think it over. “Well, I got a few ideas.” He winked at you.

You laughed. “Do you?”

He nodded. “Sure do.”

You turned at your front walk and stepped up onto the porch. “You gonna share with the class?”

Joel leaned forward and kissed you, and you smiled into it. It had been a while since you’d heard the music when he kissed you, but that didn’t stop you from reacting to it, to him, just the same way every time. You felt a shiver run up your spine as he murmured, voice deep, “let’s get inside, sweetheart, and I’ll show you exactly what I’m thinkin’.”

You smiled and did as he said. Whatever he had in mind, you had a feeling you were going to like it.

...

a/n: the end 🥹

prev |

[thebarbotscomic]

Universe

[well-its-not-human-anymore]

Okokok here this: april, reader and casey try to prank the boys. How does it go. With who does it fails/success, what was the prank, do they get caught? Do the boys get revenge, and if so, how?

Also, splinter sees it all unfolds, does he just gets himself a snack and watch, or does he tries to subtly join in without getting caught? (We all know hes got a playful side cmon)

Bonus: they try to prank vern too, maybe the boys join in to prank him? What do they do? Does he retaliate?

Okay so I admit I let my brain go nuts on this one, so it's a little long but I was cackling the entire time I was writing it.

TMNT Headcanons

Prank Wars

Leonardo

In your complete and utter defence, Leo had 100% started this

And also in your defence, you did tell him not to

Twice

But he tricked you into watching a horror movie and ended up dying your hair green

This meant war

You'd even wrapped up April and Casey into it

Their problems were your problems

Which meant that April was the one who convinced Splinter not to say anything to his sons

He was perfectly happy to oblige

Casey was just there to help set things up

And you liked the way his mind worked

The objective wasn't to go unnoticed, there would be no point in doing it and having no proof

You were doing this to prove that you could

Leo had emphasized that he couldn't be distracted

That you were to obvious and clumsy to prank him without him noticing

Challenge fucking accepted

And that's how you ended up at the kitchen table eating lunch with April and Casey when the boys were coming back from meditating with Splinter

April kept having to shove food in her mouth to hide her laughter

Casey just decided to wear sunglasses

And you kept overpowering the urge to smirk

"Hey guys, good to see you. Y/n have you seen my katanas?"

With the obstruction of water in your mouth you just nodded at him, pointing to the other room

He sauntered off, none the wiser to your victorious grin

When he came back in only a moment later his expression had done a complete 180

Leo made direct eye contact with you and you held that stare like a wolf cornered in its den

"does someone want to explain why my katanas are encased in blueberry jello?"

You raised your hand like a child in class

"hate to break it to you, but it's actually berry blue you uncultured bitch"

Raphael

Ohhhh you were so undeniably dead

A whole other level of six feet under

It wasn't a surprise that April and Casey had backed out on this one

It also wasn't a surprise that Splinter had offered to stand up for you if things went sideways

Donnie even gave you a sheet of paper with a list of hiding spots before hand

All of this went completely unnoticed by Raph, the target of your latest scheme.

And that was fine, you had only one objective here-

Make it out alive

But it was amazing what 1 person could do with some extra cash and internet access

So that's what led you to your current position.

Cross legged on the bench, watching the large red terrapin get ready for his first set, that in itself wasn't unusual, you always watched him lift just in case you needed to run and grab someone if something went wrong

Raph was none the wiser to your plan

At least that's what you thought

Your book was in your lap and you were calmly scanning your pages, somewhat comprehending the words but keeping a very close eye on the turtle across from you

"Hey y/n?"

You peeked over the edge of your book to meet his eyes

And your heart sank to your stomach

"Yeah Raph?"

He smirked at you, taking a lumbering step forward

"You ever seen that episode of the Office where Jim fills Dwight's phone with nickels so when he takes 'em out Dwight punches himself in the face?"

Shit shit shit shit shit shit-

"Uh... No, can't say that I have, why do you ask?"

That damn smile got even wider and all of your muscles tensed, you were ready to bolt

"I'm giving you a fifteen second headstart. Starting right now."

You flew to your feet and sprinted out of the weight room

"DONNIE WE GOTTA CODE RED!"

Your lungs were ready to burst by the time you made it to your decided hiding spot. Heavy footsteps went right underneath you and you held your breath, you wouldn't dare move.

You didn't come down until hours later when Splinter came and coaxed to you out of hiding

But deep down you knew you'd started something you couldn't finish.

Vern Fenwick

You didn't even have to convince the guys to partake in this

You didn't even get the chance to tell them what you were planning

They were already brainstorming

None of you let a word of it slip to April, she would've shut you down faster than you could blink

A complete buzz kill

But fake blood was relatively cheap and all of Vern's flooring was tile (meaning extremely easy to clean and bleach)

Donnie had really been the mastermind behind the execution, none of you had any idea how he'd rigged the apartment plumbing

But he'd assured you it would only affect Vern's suite and no one else's so you didn't concern yourself with it further

And after the fact you had to wonder what exactly the former cameraman was planning on the date he'd been in the middle of

All you knew was that you got a very frantic call from the falcon himself yelling about blood coming out of his tap and the sink wouldn't shut off and it was everywhere and what the fuck was happening?

You all knew that Splinter thought it was hilarious, he'd never been particularly fond of Vern

But he did make his sons assist in the clean up and bleaching of the victims apartment floor

You went too and offered moral support

Vern had hit on you one too many times, so there was no way you'd feel bad about this

Michaelangelo

As far as pranking went, you and Mikey were partners in crime

He always had great ideas and you always came up with the best ways to execute those ideas without getting caught

But when you separated those two chaos was guaranteed

You weren't entirely sure how you had been pitted against each other but you weren't entirely mad about it

You couldn't say the same for anyone else though, the others had been on edge all week.

Pranking Mikey was a challenge, he knew how you worked and vice versa

You'd been brainstorming with April for weeks now, maybe a new perspective would help

That's what the two of you told yourselves anyways

Much to your dismay, Mikey and Casey had been plotting against you as well, the traitor.

And perhaps even more unfortunate was the fact that both of your pranks somehow overlapped and backfired on the rest of the family

Because Mikey and Casey may have replaced the family tea set with a edible sugar replica that looked identical to the original

So that when you were asked to make tea for Splinter and Leo it would dissolve the second you poured the hot tea

But they didn't tell anyone else so Leo was left with an impromptu anxiety attack when he made his own tea before sitting down to meditate and it melted into sugary leaf water

And you and April had planned the 'cutting off your finger in the kitchen' with the knife, fake finger, and fake blood

Which in theory should've worked because Mikey was in the kitchen the most, that was his territory

However once you'd started your plan you couldn't stop it

so when you 'cut your finger off' and screamed for Mikey you didn't have time to yell "wait it's a prank!" before Donnie caught a glimpse of the scene and fainted

In your defence you didn't know the purple turtle could move that fast

And to Mikey's relief he was going to throw that cutting board out anyways

Splinter explicitly banned the two of you from pranking each other after that incident

Donatello

Per your own common sense you had come to the conclusion that pranking the families resident genius was a horribly stupid idea

So for once, you'd practiced some self control and refrained from any pranks involving Donnie

Now that's not to say that the turtle vowed from aiming any pranks towards you

He had morals but messing with you walked the line separating adorable from batshit crazy

And he was all for it

April advised against it severely and even Splinter seemed to think it wasn't the best idea, but that was a lesson his son had to learn on his own

On the flip side, the second Casey heard about Donnie's plan he was all for it

So when you came over for dinner they both had to hide their excited smiles as Casey passed you your spaghetti

He knew it was your favorite

Everyone else was oblivious, which looking back on it was a very bad thing

April had her suspicions that Donnie was pulling something this evening, but she couldn't put her finger on it

That wasn't until you swirled a mouthful of noodles around your fork and shoved it into your mouth, you were starving

Here lies your predicament-

You swallowed thickly and blinked like you were in pain, your hand went to your throat and you reached for your water, ending up chugging almost the entire bottle.

Your eyes met Donnie's in a serious type of concern

"Is there hot sauce in this?"

April choked on her breadstick and quickly covered her mouth

Casey hadn't picked up on it yet

"Awh yeah- how'd you figure it out so quickly?"

You erupted in a coughing fit that sent April rushing to your side before you could tumble to the floor

"You fucking assholes! Y/N has a capsaicin allergy! Casey go start the car we need to get them to the hospital!"

On the bright side you were fine after you were rushed to the ER

But you didn't speak to Donnie or Casey for two weeks following the accident

You eventually forgave them for it and they haven't targeted you since

Sorry if it got a little dark at the end, but I felt like it was more realistic. Also that has actually happened to me but it was a nut allergy (and that's how I found out I was allergic to cashews) But I feel like the ending was a good example of how pranking someone can go horribly wrong, you should always consider the possibilities before doing something that could cause harm to a person. (Unless they really really deserve it)

I really enjoyed writing this one and I hope you guys like it as much as I do! 😁🧡👍

-Mars 🌠

[liljestergal]

This is for my homies that raised themselves;

Street tips;

Be careful when cleaning: different chemicals can cause dangerous reactions like mustard gas? So please be mindful of what you’re cleaning with and let things air out

When you’re cleaning your house - it is TOP to Bottom- we start on the surfaces and walls and work our way down. Otherwise you’re going to be sweeping or vacuuming continuously

When you’re changing a flat tire, there are three major items you’re Vehicle must have before you can accomplish this (other then a spare tire) - almost all vehicles in the states anyway have these items in hidden compartments in the trunk or boot - you need a ratchet/lug nut tire iron, the jack and most likely the bar you use to crank the vehicle up and down

When the vehicle is In park, pop the lug nuts loose BEFORE attempting to Jack the vehicle up. When you - OR ANYONE - is changing a tire - it is absolutely CRUCIAL that you remember and be mindful of whose putting the tire back on - as a lot of tire shops like to just use their torque drivers and they strip and destroy the lug nuts - you’re not putting a tire on FOREVER okay, you’re putting it on with the ability to come back off in the event of a flat or blow out - YOU WANT TO START

EVERY

LUG NUT OR BOLT

By H A N D

To make sure the threading is sealed properly. Otherwise you will damage or over torque a nut onto a completely stripped bolt

Please be careful in the streets

Molly is a very dangerous upper - honestly Coke is much safer

X or ecstasy can be coke, molly, or ICE based. Molly is a street upper that honestly Should not be trusted at all

ICE is a purified forum of street METH

And coke is coke so when the time comes in your life, If ever offered this treat, make sure you ASK what it’s based on. If your plug don’t know, say no dawg.

It is absolutely crucial that you understand what these chemicals do to you before ingesting

Adderall; coke; meth; ice; molly

Uppers. So if you’re taking one, do NOT pop another - it becomes a fucking habit until your heart stops

BenZos(klonopin, Xanny, Valium), Oxy, Fent, morphine, ambiene, ALCOHOL)

These are downers. Downers that generally give you blackout experiences. Understand me now, there are ppl serving life in prison for shooting someone they don’t even remember during a robbery because they were on Xanax - do Not Mix BenZos and PAIN KILLERS

You’re heart will slow to a stop man, downers cannot be mixed.

Mixing the uppers and downers together is called Speedballing -

Let’s start with how dangerous this is. This will make you’re entire body messed up. The heart and nervous system won’t know how to function with the different chemicals giving different signals.

But ppl do it anyway and if you choose to do it hydro and your choose of upper is usually safe as hydros aren’t incredibly effective on your heart and breathing.

Moving out the gutter

You can take Motrin/Ibuprofen with Tylonel/acetaminophen

One is a anti inflammatory (Motrin) that effects the stomach harshly if ingested without food

The other hurts the liver (tylonel) and is just a a pain reliever

Steroids are also anti-inflammatory - and should only be mixed with acetaminophen products

Here in the states, in the Midwest, a “square” , “you got a square?” Is a Menthol Cigarette

When you’re changing a shit diaper, place the new and clean diaper under the kids ass before you open the dirty one

You cannot microwave formula, but you can ABSOLUTELY microwave water and milk in cheap dollar bottles. And then you add the powder. Boom.

If you are ever building/fixing anything

Understand that you do NOT do metal on metal. Gaskets, pipe dope, or Teflon tape, but you do NOT do metal on metal.

When it comes to Torque drivers, anything above a 14psi needs to be mounted in a vice before you apply the drill. I once stopped a co worker from ripping her fingers out by trying to simply hold a metal manifold in her hand and then apply a 80psi drill to it. I screamed and stopped her before she hit the button and got it viced

If your vehicle is squeaking/whistling

You have a pulley going out

Here n the states

Everything in your vehicle runs on pulleys connexted to either one or two belts

The belt will snap and then you get to buy a new one and then open the hood wit the vehicle on and see which pulley is locking up

If your vehicle is ticking

Check your oil

And make sure you add the CORRECT oil to ur vehicle.

Never travel in a vehicle with a firearm if no one inside it has a permit

[deathbyignis]

Drautos x Reader pt 3

You awaken to the sound of the alarm system to your home arming, the secondary panel being next to your bedroom door. The room is dark, and you can make out the faint street lights invading your bedroom from below. Your mind didn't register at first, but you finally surmised that it was early--very early. You turned to the clock, 3:17 am. You lay there for a moment trying to shake the cobwebs from your brain. Where was he going at this hour, you ask yourself. The Kingsglaive had the day off, save for a dinner event with King Regis tonight. Crownsguard too for that matter, so it isn't like he has a meeting with Cor or Clarus. You finally decide to get up, go pee, then move your tired body downstairs. The kitchen still smells of coffee, the remnants of a microwaveable breakfast sandwich sit on the counter. At your feet is a little dog begging for the crumbs. Your body has been through the ringer these past two days and as you stretch, you felt it screaming for relief. Ungodly amounts of PT, 10 battles vs. your fellow Glaives, and a few rough romps with Titus...you decide to clean up his mess later and head to your couch. You turn the tv on to the local news, as you often did (not like you are planning actually watch anything anyway), and curl up in your favorite fuzzy blanket with Titan snugly tucked underneath and lose consciousness immediately. When you wake again, you assess by the position of the sun coming through your windows that it is around 10am. You feel nauseous, and stay still for several minutes. You can't remember the last time you slept like that and you are grateful for the chance to rest your body. You sit up slowly and Titan runs straight for the door. Poor kid must have been holding it for some while now. "I know, imma gonna get dressed and we'll go ok" you say to him as you dart upstairs to put some clothes on. A simple athleisure outfit will have to do as anything else would be over-doing for this simple task. You grab your phone, a bottle of water and you are out the door. The park is off-limits now, so you take Titan the opposite direction. The first patch of grass you see, he does his business and begins his ritual of sniffing every other dog that has been in the area for the past month. You take the opportunity to check your phone. 23 messages. Someone was on a bender last night, you think. Crowe: What are you wearing to dinner tomorrow? I don't have shit! Can I borrow something? Nyx: Man, you really fucked him up! Nice work glaive! Titus: I'm sorry please come home. Pelna: This overnight guard shift is bullshit! Titus: where did you go? Come home. Crowe: I remember you wearing a really sexy nude colored dress to a ball last year, maybe that? Still have it? Nyx: I think he actually believes you are Yojimbo! 😂 Libertus: (to group) need...whiskey. Crowe: if you don't want to loan me the dress, you can say. Nyx (to group) I got Scotch, but no whiskey. Libertus: (to group) is that what I asked for hero? Pelna: (to group) I don't have either because I'm in hell! Tredd: (to group) I got both but keeping it all for myself. Libertus: (to group) greedy ginger bastard Pelna: (to group) LOL Crowe: (to group) Shut the fuck up! Some of us are trying to sleep! Nyx: (to group) where is y/n Tredd: (to group) silence your phone Libertus: (to group) probably giving the king a bj with her purdy Tenebrae mouth. Crowe: it still vibrates Tredd: you must really love this then Nyx: Ohhhhhh No you didn't Crowe: fuck you Tredd stop or I'll put your balls in a magic vice next training. Titus: didn't want to wake my angel. I love you. You're pissing yourself with laughter at the insanity of your friends, and are irritated at Titus for not telling you where he went or when he would be back. You assess that his text was to sent to curtail your annoyance. You start firing off the texts. To Crowe: of course you can wear it, though the chest area may be a little tight on you! 😘 To Nyx: thanks friend, it always feels good to do good work! To KG group: you guys are nuts! I ❤️u! Except Lib...we'll talk tonight. Titus: where are you baby? Crowe calls immediately and the two of you set up a time to meet at her place so you can get ready together. She initially wants to meet at your place so she can browse your closet for options, but you make a couple of excuses and agree to bring the options to her. You scoop up Titan and head back inside. 10:47 You have just over five hours before meeting Crowe. She lives in the same area of Insomnia as Nyx and Lib, which is close to the Citadel. It will take you 30 minutes to get there, so you have to leave your place in 4 1/2 hours. You decide to hit up your closet, since you haven't even contemplated your evening attire. It was custom for the men to wear their Kingsglaive uniforms to official engagements, but a woman in hers is just ghastly. You had a large selection of gowns and cocktail dresses from your life in Tenebrae, and a few that Titus had bought you. You first pulled the dress that Crowe had specifically requested, then inspected the remaining. You pulled two black dresses that you thought would fit Crowe perfectly and a burnt orange one that you thought she would love. 11:24. You check your phone. No response from Titus. You send him another message: I'm meeting Crowe at her place at 4:00 to get ready. Will you be home by then? You throw your phone on the bed with a sigh, and feel your body temperature rising. You turn back to your closet, and pull out two cocktail dresses. One red, one midnight blue. You decide that six dresses is enough options for two women and zip them up in a garment bag. You proceed to pull the matching shoes and stuff them in a duffle bag with your makeup and assorted nail polishes. 12:37 You send another message: Baby are you ok? I'm starting to worry. Titus ignoring your texts was par for the course when you knew he was at work. He kept his personal phone on silent while inside the Citadel for obvious reasons. He couldn't exactly have his phone chiming if he was in a meeting with Clarus or Cor or holy shit, The King. Today, however, you were 90% sure that he wasn't at the Citadel which was the annoying part. You decide to take a shower and do your hair so you can focus on taming Crowe's thick mop when you got to her place. 1:09 You emerge from the shower and check your phone. Nothing. You contemplated texting his work phone but thought better of it, remembering the argument that ensued last time. 2:22 You finally finish straightening and styling your hair in the most elaborate braided scheme you have ever conjured. The style allows your length to fall beyond your shoulders, while the braids keep it away from your face. It looks damn good and you are pretty damn proud of yourself. Your phone didn't make a sound the entire time you were fighting with your hair. Now you are pissed. You stare at your phone, refusing to pick it up or send another text to Titus. You look around the bedroom and your closet catches your gaze. You don't know where he has been all day, but you are certain he will make it to dinner tonight, and a plan to make him suffer unfolds in your brain. You open the closet door and pull an asymmetrical burgundy-wine colored dress out. You last wore it to the aforementioned graduation party, the night you fucked Gladiolus Amicitia. He didn't know that small detail, but Titus forbade you from wearing it again, as in his words, "every man there got an instant erection" when they saw you that night--including himself. This thing has "sinner" written all over it. Plunging neckline and back, the highest point of the skirt about three inches from your slit. Perfect. You are happy that you had the smarts to hang the matching panties and backless push-up bra with the dress. 2:49 You text Crowe that you are on your way and scoop up the bags and your purse and bolt for the door. You are concerned about him, but seeing as though this is not his first disappearing act, you find yourself leaning more and more towards angry and you don't want to chance meeting him in the garage. 3:22 You arrive at Crowe's and haul everything up three fights of stairs. She must have heard you stomping, because she opens the door just as you put your hand up to knock. You walk into the small apartment, and see Nyx and Lib sitting on the couch in their KG unis, minus their jackets. You drop everything in a pile and launch yourself onto Libertus. "My Tenebrae mouth"? you yell as you punch him in the shoulder with everything you have. Maneuvering yourself to suffocate him into the couch cushions, you take position on top of him and growl "My Tenebrae mouth"? "What does that even mean Libertus"? "Sorry, I'm so sorry" Libertus begs for you to release him. To Nyx's delight you punch him in the same spot again, praying to The Six that he has a horrific bruise by dinner time. "Enough, children" comes Crowe's annoyed voice. You slap Libertus lightly on his cheek as you jump off of him, eliciting a giggle from his BFF. Crowe helps you pick everything up and the two of you disappear into her bedroom. When you both emerge, Libertus and Nyx look stunned. The times they get to see you like this are few and far between. Jaws dropping, eyes popping, you are confident that your choices of the burgundy and burnt orange dresses were on point. The boys are speechless. Crowe breaks the silence "Alright enough gawking, lets go get this over with" she says with pure disdain. She is a stunning beauty, but never appreciates people pointing it out. You take one last look at your phone and throw it onto Crowe's couch upon exit. 6:54 Your crew arrives at the Citadel 30 minutes early. You are led to the Royal Banquet Room and it is already 70% full. You scan the room like a sniper looking for your target. No Titus. No Cor. "Hey guys, can I take your picture" a sweet kid asks, startling you. "Sure" Nyx replies as the four of you get close. ::flash:: "Thanks, love the lighting in here"! "You guys Glaives"? He asks darting his eyes between Lib and Nyx. "Yes, all four of us" you retort with clear annoyance causing the kid to blush. "Right, sorry, of course" he replies shyly. "What's your name", Crowe asks the kid. "Oh, uh sorry, yeah, um, I'm Prompto". "Nice to meet you Prompto, so where's the bar"? He points in the general direction of the bar, mesmerized by Crowe's tits squished in a dress made for your much less ample frame. You chuckle at his awkwardness and walk away with your friends. On your way to get your liquid courage to face Cor, you exchange pleasantries with various dignitaries, Crownsguard members, and Glaives. Every one of them, except the few women, would fail the eye color test if challenged. The four of you each covertly take a shot, order your drink of choice, bring them to the massive marble table in the center of the room, and take your seats. You sit in the middle of the table, boys on one side, girls on the other, directly facing each other. Crowe on your left, Nyx directly across from you. You know from experience this is the best strategy to avoid awkward conversations with the King or Clarus, or being the one to have to wake the prince. A small delicate bell rings and the crowd converges upon the table. Everyone takes a seat and you wink at Nyx for being the genius of your seating arrangement. It is 7:28 and the King is about to enter, but still no sign of Titus or Cor. The table is abuzz with various chatter when a bellowing voice announces his Majesty's entrance. In unison, 70 people push their chairs back and stand in deafening silence. Titus and Cor enter first, followed by the King. You feel like an idiot for not even contemplating that they would enter with King Regis, since this dinner is in the honor of the Crownsguard and Kingsglaive. You can't take your eyes off him. He is dressed in his all-black uniform with silver accents, the one you immediately want to peel off of him every time you see it. Touché, darling, touché. You decide the best strategy for tonight is to shoot him darts as an unmistakable silent communication that you are not happy with him. Cor is the yin to Titus' yang. He is in his simple Crownsguard fatigues and you feel tears begin to form when he scans the table and locks eyes on you. There is no smile from him, no encouragement, just a deadpan stare into your soul. Your head immediately drops. The King takes his place at the head of the table and gives a short speech about Titus, Cor, and their respective corps. He touts them as great leaders and heaps praise upon each of them. He speaks of an undisputed truth among the Kingsglaive and Crownsguard alike; each soldier in each division would happily give their life for either of these men, because the soldiers know that Titus and Cor would do the same for any of them. You feel proud to be able to say he is your love, if only to yourself. You shed more than few tears, and are grateful that you aren't the only one to do so. The King finishes and room erupts in applause. Titus and Cor, both equally uncomfortable with public praise, tell everyone to sit. The table continues to stand and applaud, as the King does. After several moments, Clarus places his hand on the King's shoulder and tells him to sit, garnering laughter and another round of applause for Clarus. As you prepare to take your seat, you make eye contact with Titus, but he quickly looks away. The meal is seven courses and by the fourth course, people are getting antsy. You don't sit for this long unless you are in a transport being toted to this battle or back to the Citadel following one. At least in the transports you can stand and stretch. "My ass is starting to hurt" Crowe whispers into your ear. You turn her direction, give her a grin and a knowing nod. You glance past her to see the people at the other end of the table, and see Gladiolus staring at you grinning from ear to ear. You ignore him and quickly turn around again to the King's side of the table. You immediately regret your choice of attire. You continue to make small talk between courses with your neighbors, while stealing glances every now and again at Titus and Cor but your eyes never connect. The final course arrives and everyone huffs the fancy sorbet down in an attempt to get out of there faster. Finally the King stands, wishes everyone well, and informs everyone that he is "too old to keep up with you kids, so I will leave them to you", grinning at Titus and Cor. The two leaders look at each other in feigned horror eliciting a soft chuckle from their audience. The entire table stands once again, and The King makes his exit. Cor announces that since everyone has tomorrow off, Titus and himself have arranged for an after party on the Citadel rooftop veranda. The room erupts in cheers once more, and the group begins to file out of the room with many filing up a massive fight of stairs. Along the way, you try to make amends with Luche and ask how he is. "Fine, good, yeah" he responds, clearly embarrassed by your question. The crowd stops, waiting for the door to be opened. You look around you and see the Prince directly behind you, his face nearly in your ass. The photographer kid is next to him, and that bastard Gladio directly behind him. There is a fourth guy in their group, a tall blonde who seems to be the one keeping all of them in line. You can hear him whispering to Prince Noctis, telling him to back off your ass. You are grateful. You wonder to yourself if this is the group you would be placed with if you do indeed move to the Crownsguard. Your entire body shakes at the thought, and you feel queasy. You quickly turn back and see Nyx and Lib shooting darts at Gladio. You love how protective these guys are of yourself and Crowe, and you give them an appreciative grin. The staircase is slowly becoming a sweltering sauna when finally the door opens. 40, maybe 50 dinner guests converge onto the rooftop seeking cool air. You see no sign of the two men you wish most to avoid, so you take in the scenery. The rooftop is lit up tonight. The massive fish tank with Leviathan's mini-me glows brightly alongside various orbs, cascading water lamps, and the glow of The Crystal. You surmise that there are about 15 tables throughout the veranda and the four of you choose one in what you hope will be a quiet corner. Nyx volunteers to fetch the group's drinks and races off. Lib announces that he has to "take a leak" and disappears somewhere on the other side of the rooftop, leaving you and Crowe alone. "You ok girl", she asks "you've been uncharacteristically tight-lipped tonight". Apparently you weren't doing as good of a job hiding your angst as you thought. "Fine, yeah" you respond staring at the silk tablecloth. "Your lying" she retorts, lifting your chin, forcing you to look at her. "What's going on with you"? "Nothing, really, I am fine" you state with a false smile. She's stares deep into your soul for several moments and the tears begin to well up in your eyes. Crowe grabs you by the hand and leads you towards the rooftop railing for privacy. "Talk to me" she pleads. "I can't Crowe, please stop asking" your gaze is at your feet, and you almost wish this floor had rocks. "Is it a guy, it's always a fucking guy" she states in a disdainful tone. You remain silent as she stares you up and down. "It is" she sighs. "Why didn't you tell me you were fucking someone"? "It's moved way past the fucking stage Crowe". The tears begin to flow and you turn your gaze to the city lights of Insomnia. "I love him". Right on cue, his presence is announced. The soldiers he commands greet him with whistles and hollers but you don't turn around. Crowe announces that she'll be right back and returns moments later with your drinks and some napkins. You chug your gin fizz in one go and a wide-eyed Crowe hands you hers. You pause the debauchery long enough to dry your face. You chance a glance in his direction and he is seated at a table with Tredd, Luche, and Axis, just staring at you. You think he believes that you may be spilling your guts to Crowe now. You quickly turn your back to him and chug Crowe's drink. "Altius, may I have a word with y/n". You freeze. Your stomach sinks and your heart begins to race as if it is trying to push its way out of your chest and make a run for it. The moment you have been dreading all night is here. Cor. "Of course" Crowe stutters. You can hear the click of her shoes as she walks away. Cor stands close to you, but turned the opposite direction, possibly looking at Titus. "This isn't the time or place for a heart to heart, so I'm going to keep this short and simple" he says in a steady tone. Turning his gaze in an attempt to make eye contact with you, "There will always be a place for you in the Crownsguard, should you wish it". There is a long pause. "Thank you" you respond, your voice cracking. "Will you be at your session tomorrow"? You turn to face him, "of course". "Good, we can talk more then" he says turning to walk towards the Crownsguard group. After several minutes you go to your table and let them know you are heading to the ladies room. Crowe follows. You can feel multiple sets of eyes watching you--including Titus--when really what you desire most is to disappear into the landscape. You reach the restroom, lock yourself in a stall, and do your business. When you come out to wash your hands, you look into the mirror. You are definitely feeling the effects of the two gin fizzes. "Pretty good for someone who was crying just 20 minutes ago" Crowe says with a cheerful tone. You smile at her "Thanks, it's my Tenebrae mouth, it drowns out all other imperfections". You both laugh and head back out. As you re-enter the party, you can see things are starting to get out of control. Axis has decided that he wants to challenge Lib at arm wrestling, Luche and Tredd are having an extremely loud argument over who the strongest Astral is, and Pelna is challenging Nyx to a warping contest where they must warp from the roof of the Citadel, to an adjacent one, and back again. You roll your eyes and sit next to Pelna when you see that Gladio and his boy band have overtaken your table. You look at Titus. He has removed his armor and is sitting there in a tight long-sleeve shirt that shows off his built physique. He feels you looking at him and taps his hand three times on the table which has become his secret code for FOLL-OW-ME. You give him a one minute lead, then scan the rooftop. Everyone else is busy with someone else so you walk briskly in the direction he walked. You enter the hall where the bathrooms are, and see an open door that you would swear was closed before. You enter timidly, not knowing if this is where he disappeared to. Suddenly the door closes and there is an arm at your waist turning your whole body around in a single movement and pushing your back against the wall. Titus places his left leg between yours and wraps your head into the powerful grip of his hands and descends upon your lips. His sweet tongue swipes your lips, begging for entrance. You are so weak, you think to yourself and open your mouth fully to reciprocate. You haven't seen or talked to him since last night, and your body needs him. You bring your hands to rest softly on his pecs while grinding your sex against his thigh. You blissfully drown in the movement of your mouths clashing together. He breaks away and breathlessly places his forehead on yours and stares deeply into your eyes. You pull your courage from somewhere within the depths of your body. "Where were you today" you say in an accusatory tone. The look he gives you is one of pure guilt. He gently kisses your swollen lips and lets go. "I was busy" he says taking a few steps back, his tone matter-of-fact. "Busy"? you retort. "Too busy to send a simple text letting me know that you're ok"? "I've told you SO MANY times y/n not to ask me about my business" he says, beginning to raise his voice. "Yes, you have, but you keep disappearing on me Titus, what am I supposed to think"? "It doesn't matter what you think" he shoots back, anger beginning to rise. "Oh, so yesterday you love me, today I don't matter" you say quietly, as you can hear people in the hallway. "I didn't say that...why do you twist my words"? "You just said that what I think doesn't matter to you, yes or no"? "That's not what I meant, you know that" "Do I"? "You are gone and out of communication for...12...17 hours today". "Two weeks ago it was 22, time before that, 19". You get up and into his face as much as you can to a man of 6'4". "Riddle me this Titus, if I disappeared consistently like that, and came home and told you that you were completely out of line to ask me about it, what exactly would you think"! He turns towards you in a rage that you have never seen from him. His hand goes flat against your abdomen and he forces your body to slam back against the wall behind you. With a low growl, he pounds his fist next to your head, cracking the drywall, his nose touching yours. "You have no idea what I am dealing with or what I am trying to do" his face red and beginning to sweat. "Be grateful that you get to live in your little world of Anaks and goblins because I assure you that there are far worst daemons in this world". Seeing your tears, and feeling the fear he has placed into your quivering body, he pauses and takes two steps back. "And they're coming"

[bananniewrites]

An Odd Game of Charades

Princess Genevieve 3/?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two thieves stopped at the edge of the woods, hunched over and panting like dogs. “Okay,” the first breathed, “okay, I think we lost ‘em. You good?”

The other nodded. “Still got the goods?”

The first held up a sack and the messenger bag, then gently scooped the mouse out of his breast pocket and presented it in his palm. The mouse was rather frazzled, being bounced around in a pocket, hanging on for dear life to not fall out. The thief had taken the mouse from the wizard’s lab, but what he didn’t know was that he wasn’t just a thief anymore— he was an accomplice to the escaped prisoner, Princess Genevieve.

Genevieve had tried to escape, but accidentally drank the wrong vial and turned into a white mouse. The vial, ironically, was supposed to be used to poison mice. On the thieves’ great run, Gen wondered if Clara forgot to take it out, as it would’ve been more useful for her (being scared of mice). She glanced between them. Not exactly her vision of a knight in shining armor, but beggars can’t be choosers. 

When the thief presented Genevieve in his palm, his partner looked at him, skeptical. “A mouse? What do we need a mouse for, Rowan?”

Rowan slumped. “You really have no imagination, do you, Matt? This little guy was found in a wizard’s office. Think about that for two minutes and tell me you don’t want to show him to the world.”

“So he’s a lab rat. So what?”

“‘Lab rat’? First of all, he’s a mouse. Second, he freaking nodded at me! It means he’s got… er… what’s that word?”

“Disease?”

“Sentience! Idiot. He thinks like a human! He can understand us! In fact…” He set down Gen and began tracing letters in the dust. “Maybe he’s got himself a name. He can just hop on the letters and spell it out.”

Gen was feeling much better now that maybe she had a chance to explain what was going on. If she could spell her name, maybe they could also stop calling her a boy. But should she? If she told them who she was, would she be ransomed or returned? Would they even believe her?

“Right, you update your resume for the nut house while I find firewood,” Matt sneered, then walked into the woods. 

Rowan harrumphed and glanced down at Gen. “You know I’m not crazy, right?”

Genevieve thought for a minute, and got an idea. She dug her hand in the dust, then dragged out three small words: “wait for Matt”.

“Of course!” Rowan cried. “Then I can prove that I didn’t teach you anything, that this is all you! Ooh,” he realized suddenly, “I should help make the fire. It’s getting dark.”

So Rowan left Gen to further ponder what to tell the thieves while they brought scanty amounts of sticks, piled them together, and used Clara’s flint to spark a tiny flame to feed. They ate Clara’s rations for their dinner, and fed some to Gen before turning their attention back to the alphabet Rowan had traced. “So,” Matt started, “Rowan thinks you’ve got a name?”

By now, Genevieve had come up with a plan. She nodded and hopped on the alphabet while Rowan spelled: “G… E… N. What kind of a name is ‘Gen’?”

“I believe it’s pronounced like a ‘j’,” Matt corrected, eyes wide at the extraordinary rodent. 

“Wait, you’re a girl?”

Genevieve nodded. She hadn’t spelled her entire name to avoid tipping them off. She continued to trace pictures in the dirt: a stick figure, a plus sign (for a moment, it was mistaken for a ‘t’), then a vial. This shape was trickier to understand: she made a very deep ‘U’ then drew bubbling circles above it. When Matt fished out one of the potions, she confirmed his guess. She drew an equal sign, then sat at the end of the equation, her arms spread wide. 

“So if I’m getting this right,” Rowan guessed, “you were a human at first, then the wizard made you drink a potion that turned you into a mouse?” She shook her head and pointed at herself. “You drank it? You meant to be a mouse?”

Gen was about to write “accident”, but she wasn’t sure if this would clear anything up, so instead she went with “wrong potion”. A chorus of “ohhh”s rose up. 

“Well, what do we do with her now?” Matt asked. “Is she going to change back? Does she need to go home? Does she come with us?”

Rowan sighed. “I think it’s too early to make any decisions. We don’t know if Gen’s like this forever, and even if we can put on some sort of show, nobody’ll be in the square right now. We’ll have to wait till morning. If she turns back, we’ll just see if we can get her back home. I’m turning in for the night.” He picked up some of Genevieve’s underclothes and draped them over the mouse, then laid himself down and waited for sleep. 

Genevieve was happy enough to snuggle into her enormous, soft underwear. By the fire, it was warm, and soon she drifted off. 

She dreamed that night. She saw a knight from her kingdom battling his way into the fortress. He fenced away two soldiers, but never made it to the entrance before being peppered with arrows. Then Genevieve herself, raising a sword, charged into the fray on horseback. For Clara. The horse reared; Gen tried to hold on but slid off the back end and fell, her sword clattering away from her. A soldier raised a spear, and just as it was brought down on her, she woke up shaking. 

She found that the world was not so big anymore, and when she wrapped her arms to hug herself in fright, she had knees to bring to her bare chest. She examined her arms and felt her face. Yes, she was back in her own body. The moon was as bright as the sun and in the highest point of the sky, bathing everything in a pale, ethereal glow. The fire was a pile of coals, glowing scarlet. Crickets chirped frantically, and somewhere, a lone night-bird sang full of hope. The woods remained dark, untouched by the moon and unwilling to reveal its secrets. 

Genevieve stood up and gently shook out the dust out of her clothes, afraid to wake the still-sleeping thieves. She would easily make her way into the village if she waited, and from there she could make her way to the castle. But these men were likely wanted by the Orcs. They’ll probably be in the village looking for them, and her. And what if the thieves should recognize her face? Would they still bring her to the castle, or would they keep her until the kingdom paid them? She had to remember that they stole Clara’s bag to sell its contents; she couldn’t guarantee that they’ll let her go without thinking of some sort of contribution. They weren’t that stupid. And yet... 

Rowan had understood her. He made the effort to get to know her. And Matt was the one who suggested taking her home, and Rowan had agreed, but they expected some village kid, not the princess.

In the corner of her eye, Genevieve spotted multiple torchlights in the distance, steadily coming closer. Instinctively, she shook the shoulders of Matt, then Rowan. “Rowan! Matt! Wake up, they’re after us!” She slung the bag over her shoulders and shook them again, and they roused in confusion. She pointed towards the torchlights and whispered, “someone’s coming!”

They saw the lights and rose quickly to gather their things. Matt muttered, “why go all this way for some magic stuff and a mouse?”

Then Rowan got a good look at Genevieve, now human, and his face grew tight with horror. “I’m starting to get an idea. Come on!” He took her arm and the scruff of Matt’s neck, and together, they sprinted further into the woods.

About half a mile in, they paused to catch their breath. “Matt,” Rowan gasped, “we’ve… we’ve got the princess. That’s why… why they’re chasing us.”

“Maybe we can hold out-?”

“No! No, no, no, that’s-that’s suicide. I hate to say this, ‘cause I don’t want to leave her alone, but… we might be better off without her, and vice versa.” He turned to Genevieve. “Okay, if you keep going in that direction, you should eventually reach the next village. People have seen… things in there, especially at night, so just keep running and you should be fine. Here,” he unclipped the sheet he wore as a cloak and threw it around her. “It’s been a pleasure, Your Majesty. Stay safe.”

Gen was shocked to be called by a formal title, as it was so rare to meet people who would call her that. She managed to mumble, “thank you.” Rowan and Matt bolted in the other direction, and Genevieve yelled after them, “God bless you!”, because that’s what people always said before they left. But as she ran deeper into the woods and the more she thought about it, the more she really meant it.

[itsworn]

How to remove a broken bolt and repair damaged threads

Few things disturb us more than the bewilderment of a broken bolt or seized pipe plug in a casting. You’re at a loss for how to get the darned thing out. This is when you have to slow down and come up with the best approach for how to get it out without further damaging the casting.

What makes bolts fail? Bolts and screws break off because there’s a weakness in the fastener or corrosion has caused the fastener to seize in the casting. When you’re working with steel fasteners or iron pipe plugs in aluminum castings, the root cause of trouble most of the time is dissimilar metal corrosion (galvanic corrosion). Galvanic corrosion is where two very different metals develop an unpleasant attitude with each other. This is why it is important to lube bolt and pipe plug threads during assembly to prevent future trouble.

What causes galvanic corrosion in fasteners, plugs and castings? If conditions are dry you’re less likely to experience galvanic corrosion. When conditions become wet, civility between dissimilar metals goes off the rails. Fluids such as water and acid serve as electrolytes to create an electrochemical reaction between dissimilar metals. Salty air is another culprit and highly corrosive. Electrons begin their journey from one metal to the other and metals begin to breakdown. When a fastener and casting have been secured together for years and exposed to the elements, failure of the fastener is inevitable.

There’re also stress issues that go with fasteners because they’re under considerable tension for a long period of time. Stress corrosion comes from exposure to the atmosphere, loading, tension and cyclic fatigue. Engine, driveline and chassis components are subjected to extreme loads and the resulting cyclic fatigue. This is another reason why bolts and screws fail and break off. Engine fasteners, as a prime example, experience a tremendous amount of stress and heat cycling. And this is why they’re prone to failure in some applications.

There’s always much we can do to prevent fastener failure by conducting proper installation to begin with. Bolt threads should be lubricated during installation to reduce stress and achieve an accurate torque reading. ARP bolt lubricant should always be used when you’re installing fasteners because it yields a proper torque reading without stressing the fastener.

Bolt, screw and plug extraction need not be difficult if you’re patient and think the process through. If the fastener or plug cannot be driven out with a punch or chisel, you will have to drill it out in phases until it can be removed with an extractor. Sometimes heat has to be applied to the area around the fastener or plug, which causes the area to expand and loosen up. Soaking the area with penetrating lubricant days ahead of time offers some hope, and reduces the likelihood of failure.

Thread Repair

What happens when a broken bolt or screw extraction turns into threads damaged beyond repair? Damaged threads can sometimes be chased and cleaned up with a thread chaser or tap. When they’re damaged so badly they cannot be cleaned up, your only choice is to drill them out and replace them with a Heli-Coil insert or a Time-Sert. The difference in these threaded inserts is both convenience and cost. The Heli-Coil insert is the more affordable of the two and more easily found. Time-Sert is an incredible innovation and, therefore, more expensive. Both thread repair types are available from Summit Racing Equipment.

When you are performing thread repair or replacement you must be patient. Make sure you’re using the right-sized drill bit for the damaged hole. The drill bit must be parallel to the hole. You may use a straight edge or a precision steel block as a guide, not to mention a drill press and a vice if the part can be removed from the vehicle. Always confirm accuracy before the drilling begins. Get this wrong and your troubles are only beginning.

Once you have drilled the damaged threads out, remove all the debris from the hole. When you don the correct-sized Heli-Coil tap, lubricate the threads with a Permatex Fast Break Super Penetrant and slowly run the tap. Run the tap a full revolution and slowly back out one-half turn to clear debris. Continue running the tap until threads have been cut the full depth of the hole. Wash the hole out with brake cleaner and allow it to dry.

The Heli-Coil insert is screwed into the tapped threads until seated. It is suggested you use Permatex Threadlocker on the outside diameter of the Heli-Coil insert to ensure security. Once the Heli-Coil is seated, break the tang off and you’re ready for assembly. Vette

1. How easily a broken bolt or screw comes out depends on why it broke off to begin with. If bolt breakage is due to material failure, the remains should be easy to remove with a chisel or punch, as shown.

2. When a bolt becomes seized in the casting or forging, you’re going to have to drill it out. Bolt extraction begins with a small pilot drill mark to get the drill bit and bolt extractor centered.

3. Ideally, you will use a titanium drill bit to cut into the fastener. Drill at a low speed with mild pressure and allow the drill bit to do its work. We’ve begun drilling with a 1/8-inch bit to get started.

4. Your drill bit should get progressively larger as you go until you’re near the full diameter of the bolt, without getting into bolt threads.

5. This is about as far as you should go size wise. We didn’t get our extractor hole as dead center as we would have liked. The darned thing looked centered when we started.

6. The bolt extractor is a left-handed coarse thread tool that screws into the hole as shown. Carefully turn counterclockwise and attempt to remove the broken fastener. You do not want to break the extractor off in the fastener because you will never be able to drill the two out. If the extractor requires a lot of force to turn, apply heat to the area around the bolt and try again.

7. We were able to extract the fastener and wound up with clean threads.

8. This is a thread cleaner, sometimes called a thread chaser. Using a penetrating lubricant, run this into the bolt hole and run it back and forth until it turns smoothly.

9. We decided to chase all of the bolt holes in this LS crankshaft to ensure cleanliness. It is a good practice to chase all bolt holes in a given installation, then, use a thread lubricant as a preventative measure.

10. Run the thread cleaner/chaser as far as it will go into the hole and run it back and forth. Flush the hole out with brake cleaner. Use antiseize on bolt threads.

11. Spark plug holes can be problematic, especially in aluminum cylinder heads. Whenever you have to chase and clean up spark plug holes, use a penetrating lubricant and make sure the piston is near top-dead-center to prevent cylinder wall damage.

12. Run the thread chaser/cleaner back and forth until it turns smoothly. Blow out the spark plug hole with compressed air, using eye and face protection. Ideally, you will have the exhaust valve open to allow any debris to escape.

13. Don’t waste your money on cheap drill bits. Spend the money and opt for titanium or cobalt drill bits, which are harder, coated and will outlast the low-buck stuff. And when you drill, run the drill at low speed using a good penetrating lubricant. Keep your drill bits sharpened to where you can use them again and again.

14. The OEM Automotive Tools Bolt Extractor Set from Summit Racing Equipment offers you a variety of sizes for a broad range of applications you may encounter. The Bolt Extractor Kit includes five mechanics length right-hand cobalt drill bits and five tapered chromoly left-hand thread extractors. This is all you’re going to need for most fastener extractions.

15. Summit Racing Equipment offers a wide variety of bolt extraction options, including Bust-N-Out (PN SUM-902-375) for 3/8-inch, 16, 24, and M10 applications. There are many other sizes available from Summit.

16. More challenging than bolt extraction is the removal of a steel pipe plug in an aluminum casting, which is a corrosion nightmare. It’s virtually impossible to remove an iron pipe plug from an aluminum casting. We get into trouble because we screw the iron pipe plug right into the aluminum, which corrodes over time and seizes. Removal begins with the drilling of a 1/8-inch pilot hole to get started.

17. A larger 5/16- or 3/8-inch bit is used next to get the extraction hole closer to the plug’s outside diameter. The objective is to weaken the plug for easier extraction. And a word to the wise, never use iron pipe plugs in iron or aluminum castings. Use brass. Wrap threads with Teflon tape as a protective barrier.

18. The aluminum casting is heated around the pipe plug to help the aluminum expand around the plug. However, you must be very careful with heat and not use too much of it. Too much of it and you can distort and even melt the aluminum. Apply heat and give the extractor a counterclockwise twist.

19. A stubborn pipe plug gets treated to dry ice after heating the surrounding area with a torch. The extremely cold dry ice makes the pipe plug contract in the hole.

20. With the pipe plug drilled out to near its outside diameter, the wall is weakened enough to get the plug out. Now is the time to chase all thread ports and bolt holes in the casting. Use Teflon tape or sealer on pipe plugs during installation.

21. Harbor Freight’s Warrior pipe nipple extractor set is engineered to free pipe nipples from castings and fittings without cracking, marring or scratching. These high-quality pipe nipple extractors are made of durable, heat-treated steel and feature zinc plating. Keep a set of these on hand for weekend emergencies.

22. Summit Racing’s Performance Tool five-piece bolt extractor set removes stubborn nuts and bolts from iron and aluminum castings. What makes these extractors work so well are the gripping internal surfaces that remove rusted, rounded or painted nuts and bolts regardless of size. These high-quality sockets are manufactured from chrome molybdenum steel.

23. Heli-Coil inserts from Summit Racing Equipment are the industry standard for thread restoration because these threaded inserts work in any material: aluminum, magnesium, cast-iron, bronze and a host of others. Damaged threads can be restored to better-than-new condition in spark plug holes, carburetor fuel inlets, transmission and engine castings, oil drain plugs, exhaust and intake manifolds, cylinder heads, brake calipers and suspension components.

24. We were at Burbank Speed & Machine assembling a 489ci big-block Chevy when the head torqueing process turned into stripped threads in a wet-deck bolt hole. Dave Akard of Burbank Speed examined the hole and concluded it needed a quick fix with a Heli-Coil insert. Dave also had a Time-Sert kit on hand, which is an even better solution because the threaded inserts are solid machined pieces that screw into the existing bolt hole.

25. Dave took a 1/2-inch titanium drill bit and cleaned up the hole to get it ready for tapping and a Heli-Coil insert. Dave stresses patience and accuracy when drilling a damaged bolt hole out. Get the bit parallel with the hole and slowly drill out the damaged threads.

26. With the bolt hole drilled out, Dave applies negative pressure (vacuum) to the hole to extract any debris. Compressed air is also effective. Use face and eye protection.

27. Dave has applied a sparse amount of penetrating lube to the Heli-Coil tap and is cutting fresh threads into the iron deck. He uses a precision steel block to ascertain alignment of the tap. The tap is screwed in one full turn and backed out one-half turn to clear debris. Dave ultimately runs the tap as far as it will go and backs out.

28. This is the appropriate Heli-Coil threaded insert, which will be screwed into the threaded hole until it is just below the block deck. The Heli-Coil installation tool grabs the tang (not visible here) and screws the insert into the threaded hole. Once seated, the tang gets broken off, opening up the bolt hole. You may use Permatex’s Threadlocker on the outside threads for added security.

29. The Heli-Coil threaded insert is screwed into the hole and run down as far as it will go. Once seated, the tang used to screw the Heli-Coil in will be broken off and discarded. It is suggested you use a thread locker on the outside of the insert for security.

30. The Heli-Coil insert has been seated and the tang broken off to make way for the head bolt. Be very careful installing the Heli-Coil insert. It is easy to jump threads and not recognize you’ve missed a thread. Slowly and methodically screw the Heli-Coil into place, then check the installation with the bolt. If the bolt binds up, the Heli-Coil is incorrectly installed.

31. Time-Sert is another excellent thread repair option, which does not employ coiled threaded inserts, but instead, a solid insert that screws into the threaded bolt hole.

The post How to remove a broken bolt and repair damaged threads appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

from Hot Rod Network https://www.hotrod.com/articles/remove-broken-bolt-repair-damaged-threads/ via IFTTT

[thedramafodder]

A mental history of games played: pokemon (ruby, sapphire, blue, crystal, leaf green, fire red, diamond, colosseum, pearl, and emerald) robopon (sun crossed) metabots, sonic pinball, vector man, jet force gemni, duke nukem, hexen, donky kong 64, starwars podracing 64, shadow of the colossus, katamari damachi, killzone, fur fighters, deathwatch, transformers, simpsons hit n run, final fantasy, mortal kombat 3, jak x racing, jak and dexter, ratchet and clank, sly cooper, tribes ascend, doom, super Mario party, pacman for game cube, starcraft, runescape, golden axe, super smash bros (64, meleee, brawl), star fox, call of duty 3, CoD black ops, no more heroes, goblin commander, scrapland, gta ( san andreas, vice city, liberty city) gba godzilla, soul caliber, guilty gear, left 4 dead, left 4 dead 2, halo(1-5) CoD ghost, CoD advanced warfare, CoD ww2, sonic allstars racing, star wars force unleashed, burnout 3, warhammer space marine, crusader reign of fire, fable(1-3) titan souls, gmod, world of tanks, halo reach, world of warplanes, borderlands (1-2) Wii sports, mario kart, legend of zeldq breath of the wild, rampage, scrapland, good n evil, neopets, adventurw quest, monster rancher, scannerz, banjo kazooie nuts n bolts, brink, red faction guerrilla, inversion, marvel vs capcom, injustice, evolve, titanfall 1-2, battlefield bad company 1-2, battlefield 3, gears of war(1-3) castle crashers, jurrasic park snes, tmnt snes, Jurassic park park builder, thrillville, skyrim, fallout (3, new vegas, 4) halo odst, halo wars, supreme commander, command and conquer, grey goo, the darkness(1-2), overwatch, timesplitters, mech assault, f zero, armored core, team fortress, portal, half life, need for speed hot pursuit, zoo tycoon, lego star wars, bulletstorm, riddick.

Games i havent played:

Fuhking animal crosing

[lorrainecparker]

In Depth – Sapphire 11 AVX from Boris FX

Never has it been a better time to be an effects and visual effects geek like me. Boris FX has cornered the market on the high end visual effects, with their flagship plug-in package, Boris Continuum Complete, they purchased both Imagineer Systems as well as GenArts, to lock up the best tracking and roto application on the market today, Mocha (Pro/AE/BCC/Sapphire), and they finished their acquisition a few months ago of GenArts, bringing the highest of the high end visual effects into the mix. Boris FX (we no longer say GenArts Sapphire, it’s now simply Boris FX Sapphire 11) has recently released the next version of Sapphire, Sapphire 11, so let’s take an in-depth look, and see if this newest update is worth your hard earned dollars.

This in-depth look ended up turning out a little different than I thought it would, as I actually sat down contemplating the path that Boris FX took with Sapphire version 11, as it’s definitely not a traditional one. Sapphire and Continuum are now Brother and Sister, and it just so happened that when the acquisition of GenArts by Boris FX was going on, both products were at the same version. Version 10, except BCC had a jump on Sapphire that left it lagging behind just a little bit. The year (or so) previous, Boris FX had acquired Imagineer Systems, makers of Mocha. Now, I’m going to assume that the Continuum team was already in development of version 10, so having the Imagineer Systems team step in and develop the Mocha integration, via the Pixel Chooser almost seemed like a no brainer. When GenArts was acquired, I’m going to guess that version 11 was only on the drawing board, and there really could be only one priority for it, and that is get Mocha Integration in there, so that the brother/sister team of BCC and Sapphire were on level playing fields. Remember, as much as you might think that BCC and Sapphire are “Just the same effects in different packages”, you couldn’t be more wrong. BCC has always been an editor’s toolkit. Not only did/does it have effects, but it also has essential tools for you to use to get your jobs done, and in many cases, fixed. Sapphire has always been about visual effects. You need to simulate lightning, Sapphire is your tool. Want to simulate the moon, or the night sky, you won’t find a more realistic effect than S_Luna. Sapphire has also begun to push the boundaries of effects work in Media Composer by giving us a glimpse node based compositing with S_Effect and Builder tool. So, this is where version 11 got me thinking of it not so much as….”full update”, but a “technical update”. The main new feature in version 11 of Sapphire is Mocha Integration. There have been some additional presets added, and overall speed enhancements, but the core feature update is Mocha Integration in almost every effect in the package. I would almost call this update version 10.5, but I completely understand why it’s version 11, to keep it consistent with version 11 of BCC.

There’s something else that I want to mention before we get rolling and talk about the Mocha Integration. Ever since the acquisition of GenArts by Boris FX, I’ve been wondering if we’re going to see a “converging” of some of the elements of BCC and Sapphire, to take some essential tools from one package, and add it to another. Now, when I say “essential tools”, I’m not talking about effects necessarily. I’m talking about things like porting Pixel Chooser over to Sapphire, and the S_Effect (Builder Tool) from Sapphire to BCC. Boris FX has decided against that route, and has built a custom parameter set for Mocha inside of Sapphire. Let’s take a look!

MOCHA INTEGRATION

Now, to be honest, I’m not going to spend any time on the nuts and bolts of tracking in Mocha Sapphire, as the concept for tracking is the same across all the version of Mocha. What I do want to do is show you how to get into Mocha once you’ve applied an effect, and what results you should be looking for, along with some of the extra parameters you can get in and adjust from within the Effects Editor interface. Let’s us S_Glow as the example effect to work with as, for me, it’s probably the best glow on the market today. Take the effect and apply it to a clip that you’d like Mocha to isolate a portion of. Once applied, you’ll notice the S_Glow effect on the entire shot.

Not quite what you’re looking for, but bear with me here, and it will make more sense in a minute. You can now click on the “Edit Mocha” button, towards the top of the Effect Editor, to open up Mocha Sapphire (the actual application is called Mocha Pixel Chooser, but I’ll be referring to it as Mocha Sapphire for the rest of this article), and track the area of the shot you want to apply S_Glow to. Once you’re done, simply close Mocha Sapphire (MS), and you’ll now see your S_Glow effect applied to the area of the shot you tracked with MS.

Okay, let’s talk about the parameters you have at your disposal once you’re done with your track. The first two are fairly self explanatory. Mocha Blur will blur the edges of Mocha Matte, but keep in mind that you can also blur the edges of you Mocha Matte from inside of MS, so it’s up to you to decide how you want, and which gives you better control.

The rest of the parameters are fairly self explanitory:

Mocha Opacity – Higher the value, the more we see of the effect and vice versa Resize Mocha – A scale parameter for your Mocha Mask Resize Rel X – Mocha Mask X Scale parameter Resize Rel Y – Mocha Mask Y Scale parameter Shift Mocha X – Move your Mocha Mask along the X Axis Shift Mocha Y – Move your Mocha Mask along the Y Axis Bypass Mocha – Disable your Mocha Mask Show Mocha Only – A great way to see only the area you’ve tracked in MS

There’s also a drop down with a few different mask combining options. What it basically does is determines how to combine the Mocha Mask and Input Mask when both are supplied to the effect.

Union – Uses the area covered by both masks together. Intersect – Uses the area that overlaps between the two masks. Mocha Only – Ignore the Input Mask and only use the Mocha Mask.

With all of this being said, I do want to address one of my biggest concerns before Sapphire 11 shipped, and that is the S_Effect effect, or the Builder Tool, as we more commonly refer to it. My concern was that MS wouldn’t integrate properly into the effect, and you would have to apply it to a separate layer, and then tell S_Effect what layer to look at, to get the masking information. Well, I’m SUPER happy to tell you that MS is completely integrated into the S_Effect effect, and your Mocha Masks will appear inside of the Builder tool in the Mask Node. Now, something that I do want to mention, and I did flag this with the development team is that even though the Mocha Mask information carries over into S_Effect, you can’t actually see the Mask if you select the Mask Node. I think this is a bug, and will update the article when I get a response back. Adding Mocha tracking capabilities to Sapphire 11 is a huge step forward for the effects package, and one that any Sapphire 11 user will appreciate and embrace.

One last thing that I do want to mention about Sapphire 11 is that you can now by the different catagories – Adjust, Blur, Distort, Lighting, Render, Stylize, Time and Transitions as their own “Unit”, so if you have a few “go to” effects, you can purchase them on their own, without having to spend a lot of money on the entire package!

SAPPHIRE 11 PRICE

This has always been Sapphire Achilles Heel, and I’ve written about this in the past, especially when it comes to Sapphire for Media Composer. I know that there has always been an overall feeling that the Sapphire bundle was priced a bit high, and some steps have been made to correct that, and I agree with some of the changes, and I don’t necessarily agree with the other changes. Let’s break it down.

The first thing I want to say, right out of the gate is that i’m VERY happy with the decision by Boris FX to slash the price of Sapphire 11’s standalone AVX product from $2800 US to $1695 US. Now, keep in mind that this price change went into effect with the version 9 release as a “promotional price”, but this has now become Sapphire 11’s “regular” price, which brings it in line with the $1695 price of BCC. Fantastic. Love it. This has been needed for years, and I am super happy it has now been implemented. Now let’s talk about the upgrade and subscription model for Sapphire 11, where things get a little weird. Now, I’m going to be comparing it to the upgrade and subscription model for BCC, since the baseline, the standalone AVX cost of $1695, is the same for both products. Sapphire 11’s upgrade cost is $450 if you’re upgrading from version 9, and $675 if you’re upgrading from. Boris FX charges a “legacy upgrade fee of $225 for people upgrade to Sapphire 11 pre-version 9. If you’re currently a version 9 or 10 user, you actually get a good deal on the upgrade cost at $450 for Sapphire 11, as opposed to the BCC users that are at $595, and are pretty much on par for the upgrade pre-version 9 at $695 for Sapphire 11 vs $695 for BCC. The annual subscription for Sapphire 11 AVX is $695 vs BCC AVX that’s $595. A little bit confusing, right? Here’s a breakdown to make a little more sense out of things.

Sapphire 11

AVX New License – $1695

Upgrade from Version 9 and above – $450

Upgrade from Version 8 & Below – $675

Annual Subscription – $695

Multi-Host New License (Avid/Adobe/OFX/Flame) – $2795

Multi-Host Annual Subscription – N/A

I was a little surprised by the price of the Multi-Host new license at $2795, as not only is it high, but it includes Flame, and as much as I’m sure that there are Flame users out there, I’m sure there are a ton more Avid/Adobe/OFX users, and I would like to see a Multi-Host license that doesn’t include Flame at a smaller price point, as I’m sure they would be able to sell a ton more than they are now, at a cheaper price. I’m was also a bit disappointed that there was no Multi-Host Annual Subscription model, but I did talk to Boris Yamnitsky directly about this, and he told me that now that the merge of the companies is complete, they can now sit down and look at all the pricing across the board, and make adjustments where necessary, so don’t be surprised to see these prices change in the near future. To be honest, right now I’m super happy about the current AVX price of $1695 and the upgrade price of $450, so just having everything else fall in line down the road will be icing on the cake.

So this does bring up the big question. Should users of version 9&10 upgrade to version 11? The Mocha integration in just about every effect in Sapphire makes its inclusion a huge reason for current users to upgrade. I tell people this. Think of it this way. Think that you’re paying to upgrade your effects to add Mocha tracking capabilities to almost all of them. A new Mocha Pro license (yes, I understand that Mocha Pro is for Motion tracking and Roto, but you get the similarities) is $695, and you can add that tracking capability to your effects for only $450. I use Mocha tracking/masking in just about every project I work on, and can’t think of how I had to do things before it was there, as it’s just saved me an absolute ton of time with my workload, as everything is done just that much faster. If you’re new to Sapphire, and deciding if you want to purchase, there are so many reasons why you would want to pick up Sapphire from the S_Effect (Builder Tool), the Lens Flare Builder, the fantastic Lighting category, and so much more!  If you’re serious about the effects work you do in your timeline, Sapphire 11’s $450 upgrade price is well worth it. For more information, or to download a free demo of Sapphire 11, you can download it at http://borisfx.com/products/sapphire/ .

The post In Depth – Sapphire 11 AVX from Boris FX appeared first on ProVideo Coalition.

First Found At: In Depth – Sapphire 11 AVX from Boris FX

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Curiosidades sobre Banjo-Kazooie

Aproveite e não se esqueça de curtir e compartilhar esse vídeo.

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Desenvolvida pela Rare, a série Banjo-Kazooie surgiu no Nintendo 64 em 1998 e foi um sucesso de critica e vendas e certamente foi um marco para os fãs do console, que ainda receberam uma seqüência em 2000.

No entanto, diferenças com a Nintendo, resultaram em um rompimento entre as duas empresas, e em 2002, a Rare foi comprada pela Microsoft 375 por milhões de dólares. Pra muitos fãs a Rare nunca mais foi a mesma depois dessa transição.

Confira conosco algumas novidades da famosa serie.

Desenvolvido pela Rare, por mais de 2 anos Banjo-Kazooie foi originalmente planejado para ser um jogo de aventura chamado Project Dream, para o super Nintendo, estrelado por um jovem garoto e piratas como vilões, o projeto então mudou para o Nintendo 64, e foi totalmente remodelado para aproveitar po sistema robusto do console, utilizando vários elementos inspirados em Super Mario 64.

Após dois games exclusivos no o n64 relançados na Xbox Live e dois jogos para o portátil Game Boy Advance, em 2008, agora adquirida pela Microsoft, lançou para o Xbox 360 o terceiro titulo da serie, Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts que tinha elementos de criação inspirados nas peças legos, e que dividiu opiniões.

A Rare costuma colocar easter eggss da Nintendo no meio dos jogos da serie, e mesmo depois de comprada pela Microsoft eles continuaram colocando, como por ex um Nintendo 64 amarrado na introdução de Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts.

A fase Gruntiuda’s Lair do game Banjo-Kazooie é baseada na clássica musica americana Teddy Bears Picnic, composta por John Walter Bratton lá em 1907.

No segundo game da franquia, Banjo-Tooie, a Rare tinha planejado um modo multiplayer secreto, onde o player dois poderia usar um espírito do Bottles do mal, pra controlar os inimigos e os chefes e assim a atacar o player um, mas infelizmente acabou descartado do jogo final, ainda assim era possível jogar com ele hackeando o game original com o game shark.

O stop n swap é um dos maiores mistério da série, e era um extra do jogo Banjo-Kazooie, que supostamente liberaria novas funcionalidades em sua continuação, Banjo-Tooie, ou vice versa, através da coleta de 6 ovos coloridos e uma chave mágica.

O plano da Rare era criar um conexão entre os dois primeiros games do n64 que acabou não funcionando, então tornou-se um mistério até hj em dia.

Anos depois, hackers descobriram através do código do jogo a localização dos ovos e da chave no jogo original, mas sem utilidade nenhuma.

A primeira aparição do urso banjo, não ocorreu no primeiro jogo da serie, mas sim, como um personagem selecionável em Diddy Kong Racing, um jogo de kart da Rare, lançado para o n64, em 1997. Apos a compra da Rare pela Microsoft, o personagem foi retirado no remake do Nintendo DS.

Em uma versão protótipo de Donkey Kong 64, Banjo e Kazooie apareciam na forma de adesivos na casa de Donkey Kong, entretanto, quando o jogo foi lançado em 99, essa referencia foi descartada.

Originalmente planejado com o título de Diddy Kong Pilot, após a compra pela Microsoft os personagens foram trocados pelos os da serie b e k, e foi lançado como Banjo Pilot, um jogo de corrida com aeronaves para o GBA, esse foi tb o ultimo jogo da franquia Banjo-Kazooie, a ser lançado pra um console da Nintendo.

Em 2015 um grupo de ex empregados da Rare, q trabalham em Banjo-Kazooie fundaram um novo estúdio, chamado Playtonic games, e anunciaram um sucessor espiritual, chamado Yooka Lyllee, que foi lançado em 2017 no Playstation 4, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch e PC.

[oldguardaudio]

Windham Weaponry  GUNSMITH’S BENCH -> TOPIC: How to Stake a Telestock Castle Nut 

Windham Weaponry at HoaxAndChange.com

Windham Weaponry @ Hoax and Change

Vol. 6 / Issue #3 / March 2017

MARKETING NEWS

Mark Eliason, VP Sales & Marketing

The Maple sap is beginning to flow here in Maine – a sure sign of Spring, along with Mud Seaon and “Tax Time”.

Yes, that was a thinly veiled reminder that Windham Weaponry is offering some great deals in our Tax Time Savings Sale. We’ve been adding new items every week to this sale which goes on until April 30th. All sale items are priced at 15% OFF! Upper Receiver Assemblies, Barrels, Magazine, Parts & Accessories – maybe just what you’re looking for!

To see this week’s specials, just go to  www.windhamweaponry.com then click on Uncle Sam and be sure to use the Discount Code “Tax Time” at the website Checkout

As I looked back into the archives, I realized we hadn’t featured our very accessorized “CDI” rifle since June of 2012 – one of our first Newsletters. So, high time to reintroduce you to the well balanced, and very tricked out Carbine you’ll see in the masthead and in our Feature Rifle section below. The Windham Weaponry CDI was developed as a result of numerous customer requests for a rifle that includes many of our most popular accessories. Think of it as the firearms equivalent of a Shelby Mustang – already factory equipped for maximum performance!

To see all our rifles and accessories, go to www.windhamweaponry.com   

or call us for a free catalog (1-855-808-1888) – We would love to hear from you.

As always, hunt and shoot safely, and feel free to contact us with any AR related questions.

This Month’s Feature Rifle:

Windham Weaponry “CDI”  

Model: R16M4FSDHTS

MSRP: $1680.00

Caliber: .223 Rem. / 5.56mm NATO

Weight/Length: 7.025 lbs without magazine / 36.125″ overall (32.375″ with Telestock collapsed)

Type:  Rifle, Semi-Automatic, Gas Impingement System

Magazine: 30 Rounds (ships with one 30 Round magazine) Accepts all std. sizes Receiver: Forged 7075 T6 Aluminum Flat Top Upper Receiver

Receiver Finish: Hardcoat Black Anodize Finish

Bolt:  Carpenter 158 Steel

Barrel:  16″ M4 Profile, Chrome Lined with Vortex Flash Suppressor

Barrel Material: 4150 Chrome Moly Vanadium 11595E Steel with M4 Feedramps

Rifling: 1 x 9″ Right Hand Twist

Stock: Magpul MOE 6-Position Telescoping Buttstock

Forend: Diamondhead Free-Float Forend with Magpul MOE AFG Angled Grip

Pistol Grip: Magpul MOE Black Pistolgrip with Storage Compartment

Rear Sight: Diamondhead Dual Aperture Rear Flip-up Sight

Front Sight: Diamondhead Front Flip-up Sight

Includes: Lockable Hard Plastic Gun Case, Black Web Sling, Full Color Operators Manual, Transferable Lifetime Warranty

See your local FFL Dealer to purchase.

FROM THE GUNSMITH’S BENCH

Erik Winter, Windham Weaponry Gunsmith

  TOPIC: How to Stake a Telestock Castle Nut 

I get asked now and then, “Why doesn’t Windham Weaponry stake their castle nuts on?” The reason we choose not to is because many people want to upgrade some part of the stock, usually the endplate, and this requires loosening of the castle nut and removal of the stock. It’s much more difficult to do this if the castle nut is already staked on. The factory torque of our castle nuts is generally tight enough not to loosen under normal wear and tear.

But if you feel that you would like to stake your castle nut on to make sure the nut never backs off, it is very easy and takes less than 3 minutes. Here’s how:

First make sure weapon is unloaded.

Push in takedown and pivot pins and remove the upper receiver from the lower receiver.

Now with the lower on a non-marring surface, take a center punch and a hammer, and punch the end plate in the areas shown. That is what the little square cut outs are for in the castle nut:

If you ever have questions about your rifle, you are always welcome to call

Windham Weaponry Customer Service (Toll Free: 1-855-808-1888). Shoot Safely!

CUSTOMER SERVICE CORNER

Cheryl Eliason, Customer Service Manager

We receive a variety of customer service related questions from our customers, and in order to better serve all of you, highlight one question each month.

This month’s question is: What are the high wear parts of an AR15 type rifle?

Answer: The items that see the most wear in an AR15 type rifle are located in the bolt carrier group and fire control group.  They are the extractor, extractor spring and insert, gas rings, ejector, ejector spring, disconnector, disconnector spring and the hammer and trigger springs. These parts see use every time the rifle is fired and will wear over time. Although these parts will be serviceable for several thousand rounds, many people replace the extractor related parts and the gas rings every 1,500 to 2,000 rounds as part of a preventative maintenance schedule. All of these items are available individually from our website and we also offer a Field Repair Kit for $34.95 that contains most of these items We also offer similar kits for .308 & 7.62×39 caliber rifles. And, our “Most Wanted Parts” Kit for AR15/M16 includes a smaller selection of those critical maintenance parts.

BUY IT NOW – Field Repair Kit

  BUY IT NOW – Most Wanted Parts Kit

Questions? 

Send them to:   newsletter@windhamweaponry.com   or  information@windhamweaponry.com 

WINDHAM WEAPONRY FEATURED PRODUCTS

Matt Hasty, Retail Sales Manager

  Troy Flip-Up Battle Sight – Rear

  PART#: TROY-RS Price: $119.00

Troy’s Rear Flip-up Battle Sight offers durability and dead-on accuracy – the choice of Special Ops and Tactical users worldwide. This a high quality aluminum auxiliary iron sight fits all M1913 Picatinny rail systems, is quick to install, and easily adjustable for windage. Solid push button operations deploys the sight instantly, then folds it away until needed again. A stainless steel cross lock system ensures that the sight remains upright and zeroed under extreme combat conditions. This sight is designed to work with same plane rail systems. offers low folded height, and dual locking rear apertures. The front of the sight base is marked with Windham Weaponry’s script logo. Lifetime Limited Warranty by Troy Industries – proudly made in the USA.

 BUY IT NOW…

Troy Flip-Up Battle Sight – Front

PART#: TROY-FS-M4

Price: $99.00

  The Troy Front Flip Battle Sight is a high quality auxiliary iron sight that fits all M1913 Picatinny rail systems. It is quick to install, and easily adjustable for post height. A solid push button system with stainless steel cross lock ensures the sight remains upright and zeroed under extreme combat conditions. Folded height is only 0.475″ above rail. This sight is designed to work with same plane rail systems. The front of the sight base is marked with Windham Weaponry’s script logo. Lifetime Limited Warranty by Troy Industries – proudly made in the USA.

BUY IT NOW…

Want to Order? or If You Have Questions? 

Call Customer Service / Sales  1-855-808-1888

  LAW ENFORCEMENT

Todd J. Coons, VP Law Enforcement & International Sales

WHAT’S NEW IN LAW ENFORCEMENT

I can’t believe that we are already into March. The winter here in Maine has been your typical winter… Long and Cold. Come on spring. As many of you know I travel a lot attending shows and February and March are no different. I attended IWA in Nuremburg Germany in March and will be heading to St. Louis for the ILEETA on March 19th. If you’re going to be attending please come by the booth in St. Louis.

Look who I ran into in Germany – J Drake from Magpul

We’ve got some VERY exciting things happening here at WW in the LE Department so watch your emails for some CRAZY rifles specials. Cindy and I are currently working on a mass email blast for our LE/Military customers and some great prices on rifles. Please keep in mind if your department or agency has rifles, AR15/M16, that are in need of repair we have ALL the parts you would need to make it like new again. We have deep discounts for Law Enforcement Departments and Agencies, so please contact Cindy or me for pricing.

Please reach out to my assistant, Cindy Thompson at Cthompson@windhamweaponry.com or me at Tcoons@windhamweaponry.com in order to give us the opportunity to earn your business.  We would love to work with you.

Stay safe out there,

Todd J. Coons

Vice President, Law Enforcement & International Sales 

In this Section, we encourage our customers & friends to send us their comments, photos and experiences with Windham Weaponry products. What are you doing with your Windham?

  Here is a picture for the Windham customer files. Upper is a Windam 7.62×39 with changed forward hand guard, flash suppressor, and Cera Koted, Troy open flip up sights and a Bushnell holographic red dot. Sweet little shooter!

Scott G. Arizona

************

In 2006, I utilized a Bushmaster carbine while in a child rescue in Tajikstan, N. Afghanistan.

I was delighted when Windham opened after the move of Bushmaster. Today, I bought a Windham 5.56 M4 16″ Upper to mesh with a lower I have. I purchased it from Machine Gun Tours in Colorado.

Needless to say, I am delighted. I thank you for the quality and durability of the product! It meshes perfectly with my lower and shoots beautifully! Very accurate. There were many other uppers available but I was set on a Windham.  

Sincerely, Kyle W Evergreen, CO

************

To send items, please email:  newsletter@windhamweaponry.com.  We look forward to hearing from you!

   BREAKING NEWS…

  Windham Weaponry & The Windham Indoor Shooting Range Donate $100,000 to help build 

Boy Scouts’ Camp Hinds Shooting Facility 

Windham Weaponry, Inc. and the Windham Indoor Shooting Range, have donated $100,000 to support a new shooting range complex for the Boy Scouts’ Camp Hinds in Raymond, Maine. In recognition of the donation, the facility will be named “The Windham Weaponry Youth Shooting Sports Ranges”.

“We believe in teaching youth and families the safe, responsible enjoyment of shooting sports, and the Boy Scouts of America does that extremely well,” said Windham Weaponry President Warren Dyke in a Pine Tree Council of Boy Scouts press release.

Windham Weaponry’s owner, Richard Dyke, stated that “We are pleased to provide an exciting and safe experience for all youth and families who visit Camp Hinds”.

The new shooting sports range complex, which includes 4 multi-use bays, 5 range pavilions, a shotgun range, and a 100 meter rifle range, is the only Boy Scout-owned range of its type on the East Coast.

  W.I.S.R. Mission Statement

We at Windham Indoor shooting Range & Retail Store pledge to practice high ethical business practices, superior customer service and provide only quality products for our customers. Our passion is providing world-class firearms training through the full spectrum of skill levels by our experienced professional instructors. Our highly qualified instructors are teachers first with a deep commitment to providing a safe, positive and effective learning experience. We believe in building strong relationships as we guide you through your selection of firearms, accessories and training to fulfill your shooting needs.

We’re always looking for your feedback on how we’re doing. Feel free to email me at anytime with questions or concerns – pjoyce@windhamindoorshootingrange.com  – Peter

What is Normalcy Bias?

Normalcy Bias is a state of mind that is common in our society. For every day that you live your life not touched by violence it takes you longer to identify and react to a violent situation. Identifying a potential risk or threat to your safety is called situational awareness. Once you identify the risk your training will give you the skills and you will commit to action instead of panicking in fear.

All of our instructors have real world experience carrying and handling firearms in stressful and sometimes chaotic situations. We offer a wide range of courses to build and master skills. Visit our website to view our courses and training schedule.

Don’t be a victim!

Register for Training Courses online at:

www.windhamindoorshootingrange.com

The Windham Indoor Shooting Range, 

where “Training Begins at the Door.”

999 Roosevelt Trail, Windham, Maine * Tel.: 207-892-0274

Windham Weaponry GUNSMITH’S BENCH -> TOPIC: How to Stake a Telestock Castle Nut Windham Weaponry  GUNSMITH'S BENCH -> TOPIC: How to Stake a Telestock Castle Nut  Vol. 6 / Issue #3 / March 2017…

[itsworn]

How to Install a Set of Aldan American Coilovers on an Early Mustang

Aldan American has been manufacturing coil-over shocks in the USA since 1981, and recently the company has begun manufacturing vehicle-specific suspension kits for the Mustang, Fairlane, Falcon and GM muscle cars of the ‘60s, ‘70s and ‘80s, specifically 1964 – 1973 Mustang, 1964 – 1987 A&G bodies, 1967 – 1981 Camaro/Firebird, with more in development. The kits come with your choice of single- or double-adjustable shocks and an adjustable spring seat and spanner wrench to raise and lower the front ride height. Several spring rates are available depending on driving style and vehicle weight. Follow along as we install a set on Mike Miller’s recently-restored 1966 Mustang.

The first step is to measure and record the vehicle’s ride height. This provides a baseline for you to return the vehicle to it’s desired ride height after installation. A big advantage for coilovers, of course, is the ability to infinitely adjust the vehicle’s ride height within the limits of adjustment threads on the shock body. Note that raising or lowering the vehicle will change the alignment settings. Plan to have an alignment performed after installing the new components.

After safely supporting the car by the frame, remove the front wheels. Remove the six bolts that hold the inner wheel well / spring cover and remove it.

Remove the three bolts that hold the upper shock brackets and lower shock nuts, then remove the shocks.

To safely remove the springs, it’s critical to use an internal spring compressor. With the spring out of the way, remove the lower spring saddle from the control arm.

The first step for reassembly is to clean the spring pocket of rust so the upper spring perch ring sits in the spring pocket. Clamp the ring in place so the holes align with the original holes in the shock tower.

The slots in the shock tower need to be enlarged to fit the new hardware included with the coilover kit. We used a 3/8-inch drill bit to open up the slots. Our vice grip clamp is used to keep the ring aligned with the shock tower slots.

The upper coilover mount fits on top of the shock tower. The supplied hardware fits through the upper mount, the shock tower and spring perch ring.

There will be a gap between the spring perch ring and the shock tower. Extra washers are included in the kit to fill the gap. We used three washers in this application, which Aldan says is typical for Mustangs of this era. Torque the bolts to 35 ft-lbs.

The coil-over shock can now be installed from the bottom up and torqued to 35 ft-lbs. With the top secured, install the lower shock T-bar to the upper control arm and torque the nuts and bolts to 35 ft. lbs.

The coil height can now be adjusted for ½’ preload and the inner wheel well shock and spring cover may now be reinstalled. Aldan recommends using anti-seize compound on the shock body threads to prevent galling. Reinstall the wheels and put car back on the ground and check the ride height. If you satisfied with height you are ready for a test drive. The car will require a wheel alignment at a qualified alignment shop.

Parts List

Description P/N Source Price Mustang/Falcon/Fairlane Coilover Kit Aldan American M1SBF2S : $798.95

The post How to Install a Set of Aldan American Coilovers on an Early Mustang appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

from Hot Rod Network http://www.hotrod.com/articles/install-set-aldan-american-coilovers-early-mustang/ via IFTTT

[itsworn]

Mopar Front Suspension Rehab: Get Handling With Stock Looks!

Yes, it is possible to have a modern, sure-footed feel in the handling and steering department using the vintage K-member torsion bar front end. The aftermarket offers us plenty of upgrades to retain our beloved torsion bars while improving the road-holding abilities of our classics. There are tubular K-members, control arms, poly bushings, adjustable strut rods, retrofit swaybars, and thicker torsion bars, to name a few. On the other hand, there’s almost no end to what’s available when you consider coilover suspensions and rack-and-pinion steering systems. Look no farther than our 1968 Plymouth Valiant project to see some of that action! But that’s not we’re after here. We wanted to maintain a stock-looking suspension when someone takes a peak underneath, yet have a responsive, good handling B-Body that can keep up with today’s driving demands and roads.

Like most others Mopars with five decades on the clock, all of our suspension’s rubber bushings were cracking and worn out, showing excessive play and sloppiness. The left upper control arm (UCA) was making metal-to-metal contact from its worn-through missing bushings. The ball joints were also showing excessive looseness. Strut rod bushings were compressed thin and nearly non-existent. With issues like those, our ’65 Coronet—which is the future recipient of an 825-hp Ray Barton Racing Engines-built 528ci Street Hemi—was in dire need of a stronger front-end suspension, and a steering rebuild. Sure, there’s no argument that modern aftermarket suspension systems can outperform our vintage stock setups, but what we’re doing here will return much more responsive handling than a stock-type front-end rebuild.

We’ve enjoyed very satisfying results in rebuilding the K-member and torsion bar suspension on our other test-mules (1967 Dodge Coronet R/T and 1973 Dodge Challenger). What we’ve learned is that when using tough poly bushings throughout to replace the wimpy rubber, there is much less deflection amongst all of the suspension components. Moving to thicker torsion bars and adding a swaybar (or a beefier-than-stock unit) will reduce body lean while improving the steering response. Tubular control arms or even a tubular K-member (like QA1’s) will help stiffen all the components to function as a team. Choosing the right brand of performance shocks will effectively add to the handling and ride quality, and need to be considered into the package. Other important considerations are wider wheels and tires that’ll fit. These complete the package and make for better handling too.

We put in a call to the suspension gurus at Performance Suspension Technology (PST) for a cost-effective prescription plan. We started our order with their super front end rebuild kit which includes polygraphite bushings, upper control arm cam bolts, inner tie rod ends, adjusting sleeves, and idler arm. PST’s famous lower control arm (LCA) rebuild kit was also a must-have, and includes stiffening plates, torsion bar adjusters with polygraphite bushings, and greasable pivot shafts. We added a pair of 1.03-inch torsion bars that will handle the extra weight of the incoming Street Hemi, and paired them with PST’s Bilstein performance shocks with digressive valving for handling control. Completing our list of PST components are pivoting strut rods; one of the most innovative products to come along for the classic Mopar torsion-bar suspension. The whole PST package came in at just over $1,400.

Without using a swaybar, the rebuilt suspension system would not be up to optimum cornering. On today’s congested roads, we wouldn’t think of driving without a front swaybar to reduce body roll for safer vehicle control. The folks at Hellwig have been manufacturing vehicle stability control products since 1946 right here in the USA. In my past experience with a friend’s car with Hellwig sway bars, none of the late-model Vettes or Trans Ams of the time could keep up on the twisty North Jersey mountain roads. For the ’65 Dodge, we had the choice of a solid 1 1/8-inch or a tubular 1 3/8-inch front sway bar. We ordered the latter for more roadholding stability and lighter weight. We also grabbed a 7/8-inch rear bar, which we’ll get to once we tackle the rear suspension.

Here we’ve gone the route of restoring, rebuilding, and lightly modifying the stock K-member and torsion bars. We could have gone the tubular route, but we wanted to maintain that stock look. Future mods will include an upgrade to Wilwood 12.19-inch front disc brakes and swapping to a faster-ratio Borgeson power steering box. With that fat Hemi thumping under the long, low hood, we’ll need to make sure the rest of this B-Body is up to snuff!

1965 Dodge Coronet

Front Suspension Rebuild

Description: Cost: PST Super Front-End kit with Polygraphite bushings $439.00 PST LCA rebuild kit $209.00 PST adjustable strut rods $289.00 PST torsion bars 1.03-inch $263.00 PST Bilstein Shocks $228.00 PST solid adjusting sleeves $29.00 Hellwig 1 3/8-inch swaybar kit (part No. 55903) $269.00 Total cost $1,726.00

Our B-Body\’s loose-as-a-goose front suspension needed a rehab. We elected to use a PST super front end rebuild kit. Polygraphite bushings will replace wimpy rubber to reduce deflection at the pivot points. Shown center are the LCA stiffening plates. For a good ride and handling, Bilstein shocks will keep the tires in contact with the road.

We decided to drop the complete K-member front suspension, steering, and brakes at the same time. To get started, we unbolted the UCAs, brake lines, and shocks. In an upcoming story, we’ll be ditching the 10-inch drum brakes for Wilwood 12.19-inch discs.

Next, the steering column coupler was disconnected from the factory power steering box. In a future story, the stock unit will be replaced with a Borgeson quick-ratio power steering box to match the more aggressive suspension. Note the absence of an engine connected to the K-member. We pulled the 383 out over 10 years ago!

The torsion bars need to slide back out of the LCA. We’ve used this tool for years to properly remove torsion bars. (Removing torsion bars with vice grips will damage them.) The stock .920-inch bars will be replaced with 1.03-inch torsion bars from PST for a better handling B-Body.

Once the bolt at each corner of the K-member is removed, it’ll drop right out. Not shown: the steering box was removed to even the balance weight on the floor jack before lowering the K-member.

The floor jack was placed center and rearward so the K-member assembly would not teeter back off the jack. It was lowered evenly until it rested on the garage floor. Notice the components previously installed from the US Car Tool chassis stiffening kit. Less body flex aids in better handling and drag launches, too!

The control arm assemblies were easily unbolted from the K-member by loosening the LCA pivot shaft and strut rod nuts. While on the ground, all the components were disassembled for rebuilding, replacing, cleaning, and refinishing. In the background are the tie rod ends, pitman arm, idler arm, and center link steering assembly.

The K-member was powdercoated semi-gloss black locally. We brought it to “In Gear,” a shop in Manasquan, New Jersey. They did an outstanding job powder-coating our K-member!

We bolted our K-member to a US Car Tool K-Frame stand (part No. USCT7M1001, $399.00). The K-frame stand is strong enough to hold the complete K-member with its suspension, engine, and transmission assembly. It allows removal or installation from underneath like the factory did it.

Our first task was to weld the stiffening plates to the lower control arms. PST’s LCA rebuild kit strengthens the stock arms for less than half the cost of tubular arms and they still look stock. The vice grips held the plates up to the bottom of the arm for welding. Afterwards, we ground the welds smooth for a clean appearance.

We used our old puller tool to remove the pivot shafts. Once the pivot shafts are removed, the old rubber bushings can be easily pried out with a flathead screwdriver. The original outer bushing shells and inner sleeves can be cleaned-up for use with the poly bushings. Front-end suspension tools like ours can be purchased at Mancini Racing.

The poly bushings, inner sleeves, and outer shells were lubed with the provided grease. The new bushings slid all the way into the LCA outer shells by hand. The inner sleeves and pivot shaft slid most of the way in. We used a press to completely insert the pivot shafts. Both arms were cleaned-up and painted with chassis black.

It’s easiest to attach the strut rod to the LCA and slide them together into their respective holes in the K-member. We upgraded to PST’s adjustable strut rods with pivoting Heim joints to provide smoother suspension travel. Suspension and steering response will be much improved. It’s an important upgrade to any torsion bar suspension.

The pivot shaft and strut rod nuts were made only snug tight. We’ll torque them to specs once the car is at rest. Here we installed the lower ball joint and cranked the nut tight until we could fit the cotter pin in place.

Next the original spindle (cleaned up and bead blasted) and Wilwood disc brake caliper bracket were bolted to the lower ball joint. We cleaned up and reused the original nuts and bolts except for the specially made tapered bolt for the caliper bracket.

The new tie rod ends and HD solid steel adjusting sleeves were measured to ensure they were the same length as the stock units before installing. Excuse the missing jam nuts. Solid tie rod adjusting sleeves eliminate flexing and the possibility of the tie rod ends pulling out of the hollow sleeve adjuster. We’ve seen it happen. Not a safe situation!

We bolted the idler, pitman arm, center link, tie rods, and adjusting sleeves to the K-member and lower ball joints. Only the pitman arm was not a new piece. The missing stock sloppy power steering box will be replaced with a new quick-ratio Borgeson unit. Together, the steering and suspension system will be matched and much more responsive.

Trying to remove the old bushings without the proper tool cost us two broken vices, so we brought the UCA to Shore Wheels, Tuckerton, New Jersey. Having the proper socket made it easy to unscrew the old, then screw-in the new ball joints. Light taps of a mallet placed the UCA in position to install the cam bolts and nuts.

Using US Car Tool’s unibody lifting tool (part No. USCTRM1001, $149.00) with our engine hoist enabled us to lower the B-Body onto the K-member suspension. Unfortunately, our Ray Barton 528ci Street Hemi was too wide to fit between the shock towers for installation from underneath. The typical Wedge, Poly, or LA engine will fit for an easy underneath install.

To handle the extra weight of the incoming Street Hemi and to firm up the suspension, PST’s beefier 1.03-inch torsion bars will replace the stock .920-inch units. PST offers Bilstein shocks featuring a stock-like black finish instead of the usual yellow. These shocks offer better road control without ride harshness due to Bilstein’s patented digressive valving.

The addition of this Hellwig Products 1 3/8-inch swaybar kit (part No. 55903, $269.00) to our rehabbed suspension package will bring us closer to today’s standards in cornering performance. This high-quality, American-made swaybar package will greatly reduce body roll and make crisper handling and better steering a cinch.

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