#Virtual Interview Training

[lifes-little-corner]

mock interview platforms

When I first started preparing for job interviews, I felt overwhelmed. The pressure to perform well was intense, and I didn’t know where to begin. That’s when I discovered the power of mock interviews. Practicing with these tools not only built my confidence but also sharpened my skills. Jerry Rice, the legendary football player, once said, “I practice.” His simple mantra resonated with me. Just…

[detpindia]

Mastering Communication: The Role of Communication Skills Courses in Student Success

In today’s rapidly changing digital world, communication skills courses are more than just a learning trend—they’re an essential part of student development. As part of the Digital Empowerment Training Program, these courses help students unlock new ways to express themselves, build confidence, and become future-ready professionals

Why Communication Skills Matter

Good communication goes beyond speaking fluently. It’s about listening actively, presenting ideas clearly, and interacting effectively in both academic and professional environments. That’s why career skills for college students must include dedicated modules for developing strong verbal, written, and non-verbal communication abilities.

Students equipped with communication skills can perform better in interviews, group discussions, presentations, and even in virtual collaborations. These abilities also give them an edge in networking and relationship building—skills that are vital in the business and professional world.

The Role of Online Training Programs

The best part? Students no longer need to sit in traditional classrooms to develop these skills. With a wide range of online training programs, learning has become more accessible and flexible. These programs offer self-paced modules, interactive video lessons, and real-world exercises tailored to each student’s level of understanding.

Online platforms like DETP India have made it easier for learners from every corner of the country to upskill without boundaries. These programs blend theory with practical examples, allowing students to apply their learning in real-life scenarios.

A Gateway to Soft Skills Development

Communication is one of the core soft skills for students, but it doesn’t stand alone. Through focused training, students also develop other vital attributes like teamwork, time management, adaptability, and emotional intelligence. These soft skills complement communication abilities, shaping well-rounded professionals.

Programs that emphasize soft skills for students provide a holistic development model that goes hand-in-hand with academic knowledge. They prepare students for the challenges of the modern workplace where technical know-how is just one part of the success equation.

Introduction to Digital Marketing Learning

Today’s digital-first era demands more than basic communication. With Digital Marketing Learning included in many empowerment courses, students can learn how communication plays a critical role in online brand building, content creation, and customer engagement.

Learning how to market a product or personal brand online gives students a practical advantage. They begin to understand how communication strategies influence target audiences, how social media impacts engagement, and how storytelling can drive digital campaigns.

Building Tomorrow’s Leaders: Entrepreneurship & Leadership Training

Strong communication is also at the heart of entrepreneurship and leadership. Entrepreneurship & Leadership Training programs teach students how to pitch ideas, negotiate deals, manage teams, and inspire others. These are communication-heavy roles that require clarity, persuasion, and confidence.

Students participating in these modules not only learn business concepts but also get the chance to apply their communication skills in simulated real-world scenarios, building both competence and self-assurance.

Conclusion

In summary, communication skills courses are a vital component of the Digital Empowerment Training Program. When combined with online training programs, career skills for college students, soft skills for students, Digital Marketing Learning, and Entrepreneurship & Leadership Training, these courses offer a comprehensive toolkit for any student looking to thrive in the digital age.

Through platforms like DETP India, students can take charge of their personal and professional growth, gaining skills that truly matter.

For More Information Visit: 

Website: Detpindia.in Email: helpdesk@arihantglobal.net Call Us: 0141-2942622 Address: Plot 25, G2, Dalda Factory Rd, Green Nagar, Durgapura, Rajasthan, 302018

[xploreitcorp5]

How much do Java developers earn?

1. Introduction to Java Developer Salaries

What's the earning potential for Java developers? This is a hot topic for students, new grads, and folks looking to get into software development. With the growth of full stack dev, cloud tech, and enterprise software, Java remains essential. Salaries depend on location, experience, and skills. For students in Coimbatore studying Java, knowing what to expect in the industry is key. 

Key Points:

- Java developers are in demand across various fields.  

- Knowing Spring Boot and full stack skills can boost your pay.

2. Java Developer Salary for Freshers

So how much can freshers make? Entry-level Java developers in cities like Coimbatore usually earn between INR 3 to 5 LPA. Completing a Java Full Stack Developer course typically leads to better pay since it covers a wider skill set. Employers often look for hands-on experience, which is why doing Java mini projects or internships is important.  

Key Points:

- Fresh Java developers start around INR 3 LPA.  

- Getting certified in Java can help you land a job.

3. Experienced Java Developer Salaries

With 3-5 years under your belt, what can you expect? Salaries typically range from INR 6 to 12 LPA. Those who take a Java training course in Coimbatore often find they earn more. Companies want people with strong backend skills and experience with tools like Spring, Hibernate, or Microservices. 

Key Points:

- Mid-level Java developers can earn between INR 6 to 12 LPA.  

- Knowledge of Spring and REST APIs can increase your salary.

4. Senior Java Developer Salary

 InsightsFor those at a senior level with over 7 years of experience, earnings can start at INR 15 to 25 LPA. This varies based on company size and responsibilities, plus keeping up with new tech is crucial. Attending weekend Java classes or coaching sessions can help keep skills fresh.

Key Points:-

- Senior Java developers generally earn over INR 15 LPA.  

- Full stack skills can lead to higher pay.

5. Java Full Stack Developer Salaries

People who complete a Java Full Stack Developer Course in Coimbatore often snag higher-paying jobs. Full stack developers with skills in Java, React, and DevOps can earn about 20% more than those focused solely on Java. If you're curious about Java salaries, investing in full stack training is a smart move.  

Key Points:

- Full stack Java developers can earn about 20% more.  

- Having both frontend and backend knowledge is important.

6. Salary Trends in Coimbatore and Tier-2 Cities

In Coimbatore, students of Java courses often ask about earning potential. Starting salaries might be a bit lower than in metro areas, but there’s room for growth. Remote work options are now more common, allowing locals to earn metro-level salaries.  

Key Points:

- Java jobs in Coimbatore offer competitive pay.  

- Remote work opens doors to higher salaries.

7. Java Certification and Salary Growth

Getting certified can mean a 30-40% pay bump compared to non-certified peers. Following a structured Java course helps build strong skills. Recruiters appreciate learning paths and real-world experience from platforms offering Java programs.  

Key Points:

- Java certifications help boost your credibility.  

- Structured training can get you better job offers.

8. Demand for Java Developers in 2025

Looking ahead, there’s expected growth of 15% in Java jobs by 2025. More students are signing up for Java Full Stack Developer Courses in Coimbatore, and chances for freshers are expanding. Mastering Java basics through tutorials can help set you up for success.  

Key Points:

- Job openings for Java developers are on the rise.  

- Full stack training fits well with job market trends.

9. Java Developer Skills That Influence Salaries

Earnings for Java developers often depend on skills like Spring Boot, Microservices, REST APIs, and cloud integration. Regular practice with Java exercises, internships, and coaching can create a strong candidate.  

Key Points:

- Skills in demand directly impact salary.  

- Ongoing learning is vital for career growth.

10. Conclusion and Brand Mention

So how much do Java developers actually make? It varies, but with the right skills and certifications, Java can lead to a rewarding job. Whether you’re just starting out or looking to advance, getting good training is key. If you want to begin or progress in your career, check out Xplore It Corp for Java courses and training designed to help you succeed.  

Key Points:

- Look for recognized training programs.  

- Xplore It Corp can help you close skills and salary gaps.

FAQs

Q1. How much do Java developers earn after certification?

A certified Java developer can earn 30-40% more than non-certified ones.  

Q2. Are Full Stack Developer salaries higher?

Yes, full stack developers generally make 20-25% more due to their wider range of skills.  

Q3. Does location affect salaries?

Absolutely, metro cities tend to pay more, but remote jobs are helping close that gap in places like Coimbatore.  

Q4. Is a Java internship necessary?

Not strictly necessary, but internships can really enhance a resume, especially for those just starting out.  

Q5. What's the best way to learn Java step by step?

Join a structured course, like those from Xplore It Corp, and practice with Java tutorials and coding exercises.

[merchantservices444]

“POS Systems in Garland, TX: Enhancing Business Efficiency and Customer Experience”

[defectivevillain]

cooking up a storm

pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Reader

reader's pronouns are he/him and he's written to be gay; otherwise, race is ambiguous and no physical descriptors are used.

summary: You start a new job as a cameraman for the show Kitchen Nightmares, featuring award-winning chef Hannibal Lecter. Every day brings something new—often something disgusting, uncomfortable, or otherwise baffling. But, hey, that’s what you signed up for. Hotels and bars, on the other hand… You didn’t expect to add those to the list.

word count: 7.7k | ao3 version

warnings: cursing, suggestive humor & themes, partial nudity from an unnamed character, alcohol consumption.

notes: this is an absolute beast of a fic, just because i wrote it in narrative/script hybrid format. so it's a LOT to scroll through. you've been warned!

I was watching Kitchen Nightmares/Hotel Hell/Bar Rescue as I wrote this. I took inspiration from them, but I’m not writing about any of the real people. Hence why this is a Hannibal fic.

enjoy!

Kitchen Nightmares is infamous for… well… kitchen nightmares. As foolish as it may sound, some of the restaurants on the show are completely and utterly disgusting. Health violations, animals like rats and raccoons running through the restaurants, fruit flies in drinks, raw chicken stuck together in a greying sludge… The list goes on. None of it is appetizing. Watching the show religiously would probably give a person enough reason to swear off restaurants forever. 

Why you apply to be a cameraman for the show, you’re not exactly sure. You did want more action and adventure—your previous jobs had been too monotonous and boring for your liking. But going from a simple advertisement agency to filming Kitchen Nightmares… It’s a full 180. Still, you know you’re good at what you do—so you go through the interview process with confidence. You get through the first phone interview, and then a digital interview. Your final interview has you entering the studio and filming some promotional material. The supervisor assures you that you’d be out filming at restaurants more often, but he wanted to get a sense of your abilities. And apparently, all of your demo footage wasn’t enough. 

It’s stressful, but when you receive the call a few days later informing you that you’ve gotten the job, you’re ecstatic. It’s a well-paying job; not to mention, you’re sure there’s never a boring day. Combined with good benefits and generous vacation time, you’re convinced you’ve made the right decision. 

Your first few days aren’t very eventful—namely because you’re confined to the studio, where virtually no filming occurs. The show is always on the road, as Chef Hannibal Lecter visits restaurants across the nation. Producers comb through submission tapes and choose what restaurants he’ll visit. Then, Lecter will stop by to inspect things and get a sense of what he’s working with. After that comes extensive training, menu refinement, and sometimes even interior design and renovations. Safe to say, Lecter has his hands full. While it may seem like the work on the show is easy and smooth, you recognize that he’s a lot more involved than people may think. 

You haven’t met him just yet, but you’re sure you will once you’re on the road. You don’t expect to be bustling through the studio one day, only to nearly crash into the man himself. You reel back a bit, righting your balance. 

“Sorry,” you say quickly. That wasn’t necessarily the first impression you were hoping for. But oh well. There are rarely any other people in the studio, so you don’t necessarily blame yourself for nearly colliding with him. Lecter doesn’t seem too bothered about it either, instead waving off your apology with a kind smile. 

“I don’t think we’ve been introduced,” he hums. “Hannibal Lecter. Pleasure.” 

You extend a hand for a handshake; he returns the gesture and places a free hand on your shoulder, before leaning in and kissing you on each cheek. When he pulls back, you’re flabbergasted. It takes you a moment to remember to introduce yourself in return. You’re a bit flustered. But, then again, you’re probably reading into it. The guy’s Lithuanian and frequently in Europe, so that was just a European greeting. Right? 

Fortunately, you’re spared from any further embarrassment by the production assistant, who grabs you and starts briefing you on the next restaurant the crew is going to visit. As you walk away, you feel like Lecter is watching you—but when you turn around, he’s engrossed in conversation with someone else. 

INTERIOR – Confessional. 

A short individual interview with you. On a banner near the bottom of the screen, your name and role (“camera crew”) are displayed in white font. You’re seen pinching the bridge of your nose, shaking your head in disbelief before looking at the camera.

You I’ve never smelled something so foul in my entire life. Some of us were wearing face masks when we were filming.

The camera then cuts to a behind-the-scenes shot of another cameraman, who can be seen nearly gagging as he places a hand over his mouth.

You (sighing) Yeah… Not fun. 

Twitter

judasjudahahas who’s the hot camera guy on Kitchen Nightmares???? And can we see more of him??? Asking for a friend. #KitchenNightmares

→ upsidedownapple: yesss omg his confessionals were so funny

→ gratattata: we stan him fr

INTERIOR – Chef Lecter’s car. Mid-day, rainy weather. Hannibal sits in the driver’s seat; you’re seated in the passenger’s seat, behind the camera as you film his reaction to this restaurant’s “Soup of the Day.” It was served to him through the drive-thru, which isn’t exactly promising. 

Hannibal holds a styrofoam cup in his hand, and he glances down at it with a mildly disgusted expression. 

Chef Lecter (sarcastically) Wonderful. Smell this. 

You (quickly) No thanks. That’s your job, not mine.

Chef Lecter (laughs) Fair enough.

A beat of silence.

Chef Lecter But look, at the very least. (tilts the cup down)

The camera zooms in on the soup served in a styrofoam cup; the texture is chunky and there are weird orange bits in it. 

You Ew. 

Chef Lecter This looks like one of those McDonald’s desserts. 

You A McFlurry?

Chef Lecter Yes. That. 

You (restrained laughter)  Pffft. You didn’t even know the name of it? 

Chef Lecter That’s not my job. 

You Right, fixing mediocre mom-and-pop restaurants is your job. 

Silence. Hannibal’s lips quirk at the edges, close to smiling. Then he shakes his head to refocus. 

Chef Lecter (grimacing at the camera)  Here goes. 

You’re quiet as you film him. Hannibal dips the spoon into the mixture, picks some up and looks at it. Chunks fall from the spoon and back into the cup. You shudder.

You’re watching Hannibal expectantly. He’s entirely silent, his face almost completely devoid of emotion. You’re not sure how long you sit there in complete silence. Hannibal just isn’t saying anything. 

Chef Lecter (diplomatically) …Well then. 

You  (bursting into laughter) I’m so sorry— hold on— 

The screen goes dark as you place the camera in your lap. For a few moments, all that can be heard is your laughter. Then you regain your composure and pick the camera back up again, pointing it at Hannibal. 

Chef Lecter (smirking slightly) Ready now? 

You (still fighting off laughter) Yes. Go ahead. 

Hannibal repeats the same actions as before, dipping a spoon into the mixture before bringing it to his lips. 

Chef Lecter (contemplative) Hm. Cold. 

You (sputtering) I’m sorry— That was—!

A few more moments of laughter. Then, you take a slow breath. 

Chef Lecter (fighting off a smile)  You’d better straighten up soon. I don’t think my body will tolerate much more of this soup. 

You  (pulling it together)  You’re right, my bad. Okay, last time. Go ahead. 

Chef Lecter tastes the soup, pulls a face. He describes the abhorrent flavor profile and cold temperature; you watch on silently. Eventually, it’s clear you’ve gotten the shot. 

Chef Lecter Finally. I’m starting to think you did that on purpose. 

You (with faux-innocence)  Me? Never. 

INT. – Confessional.  A voice from off screen speaks: So, you were the one to find that hidden freezer in the preliminary inspection. 

You (shuddering) Unfortunately. 

The camera cuts to black-and-white footage of a door hidden behind piles of boxes. From behind the camera in the flashback, you reach and open the door. The camera shakes a bit as you evidently grasp what you’re seeing. 

You Chef Lecter wasn’t pleased to see that. But I don’t really blame him. I mean, that’s gotta be several health violations. And a secret freezer? Their walk-in freezer was huge and it wasn’t even full. Very suspicious.

INT. – Jack’s Pub. It’s a rowdy dinner service, with waiters and guests bustling around the far too small space. 

You’re filming some B-roll when you’re suddenly jostled by a passing guest. You’re thrown off balance for a second before you manage to steady yourself. 

Chef Lecter (turning to look directly at you) Are you all right?

You (blinking) Yeah, I’m good.  

Chef Lecter (looking at the tight space around you) Ridiculous. Completely and utterly ridiculous.

You (jokingly) Maybe us crew members need camouflage or something. Like those National Geographic photographers.

The chef laughs. You’re surprised by the gesture—you’re not sure you’ve ever heard him express such amusement before. 

Chef Lecter Yes, that would be beneficial. It is somewhat akin to photographing wildlife, isn’t it?

You (scoffing, before lowering your voice) Yeah. But without, y’know, the dignity and respect. These places are dumps, so even the best shots look completely shitty.

Chef Lecter (lips quirking at the edges)  True. But you’re making me look good. 

You That isn’t exactly difficult to do. 

You don’t realize the gravity of what you’ve said until you see Hannibal’s eyebrows climb up his face. You immediately look away, trying to pretend as if you hadn’t said anything. 

EXTERIOR – Dumort Hotel. A gaudy hotel with bright pink walls and pastel yellow shingles looms over you. This is one of the first few episodes of Hannibal’s new show, Hotel Hell. After four successful seasons of Kitchen Nightmares, the network is deciding to expand and give him another program. 

You pay a disbelieving glance at Hannibal as you stand in front of the garish hotel. 

You  You’re really a masochist, huh? Was all the food poisoning and filth not enough for you? 

Hannibal  (huffs in amusement) I suppose it wasn’t. Now we’re adding crumbling wallpaper and burnished antiques to the mix. 

Hannibal heads up the steps and you follow after him, filming the whole way. When you reach the front doors, there’s a comically large door knocker that he pointedly ignores. He holds the door open for you and you murmur a word of gratitude quietly, before stepping into the space. 

The lobby is just as much of an eyesore as the exterior of the building. There’s a complete mess of colors: each as bright and dizzying as the last. There are furry armchairs and leather sofas scattered around the space. You zoom in on the cushions, which are tattered and look stained. 

The owner of the hotel, Maxine, steps out from behind the desk. To your surprise, Hannibal doesn’t kiss her on the cheek—instead opting for a more formal handshake. This only reminds you of your first meeting. You take a deep breath and focus on the conversation as you’re filming. 

Maxine Chef Lecter, I’m so thrilled to see you! 

Hannibal  Oh, please, call me Hannibal.  

Maxine Very well, Hannibal. I just know that you’ll enjoy your stay here. 

Hannibal I’m sure I will. 

The smile on his face is ever so slightly sarcastic, as if he knows just how much of a nightmare this place is going to be. Maxine doesn’t seem to notice this, instead looking at the camera. 

Maxine (curiously) And who’s this? 

You’re hiding your face behind your camera at this point. But she doesn’t relent, and eventually you’re forced to show yourself. 

You (awkwardly) Oh. Um… hi.

Maxine Hello! Enchanted to meet you, darling. 

She holds her hand out pointedly. 

You (hesitantly kissing the top of her hand)  …Nice to meet you too. 

That’s strange. She didn’t do anything like that with Hannibal. You frown, hiding the gesture behind your camera as you continue filming. 

Maxine Now, shall I lead you to your room, Hannibal?

Hannibal Please. 

His tone is almost imperceptibly clipped, as if he’s slightly frustrated. 

INT. – Confessional. Hannibal recalls his first impressions of the Dumort Hotel lobby. 

Tell us about the lobby. 

Hannibal There was a veritable mess of colors. Way too much neon. And I believe the chandelier in the center was broken, which is a safety hazard. 

And the owner, Maxine, seemed quite…

Hannibal (tersely) Friendly. 

Overly friendly, some might say. 

Hannibal I would agree. If that was her attempt at buttering us up before we explored the hotel… Well, it didn’t exactly work in her favor. 

EXTERIOR – Dumort Hotel hot tub. 

You’re standing on the deck, where an above-ground hot tub rests innocuously. Hannibal left briefly to change. Upon his return, you quickly tilt the camera down.

Hannibal (curious) What are you doing? 

You Just figured you wouldn’t want to be shirtless on national television. 

Hannibal  Ah. That is… a good point.

You (stammering)  Not like you have anything to be ashamed of! I just mean— 

Hannibal  (with a fond huff)  I understand. I appreciate the gesture. 

You (attempting to recover your dignity)  Good. 

It’s quiet as Hannibal steps over to the hot tub. You still have your camera pointed down. He eventually crouches and manages to step in. 

You Ready? 

Hannibal Sure. Care to join me?

You (shaking your head) No thanks. I don’t even like regular hot tubs. Let alone… whatever that is.

Hannibal  A shame. 

You You’re not supposed to be talking to me, you know. 

Hannibal Oh? 

You I mean, the viewers aren’t supposed to know I exist. 

Hannibal  You filmed some confessionals for Kitchen Nightmares, no?

You You know what I mean. 

Hannibal (teasing) And what am I supposed to do by myself, hm? This hot tub is depressing enough; this situation is completely undignified. 

You lock eyes with him over your camera and roll your eyes. 

INT. – Your room at Dumort Hotel, later that night. 

You open the door and are immediately hit with a nauseating wave of stench. It’s thick enough to give you a headache right away. For a moment, you’re just frozen in the doorway in shock and horror. This is where you’re supposed to sleep for the night…?

Then you sigh and pull out your camera, turning it on. 

You (briefly turning the camera to yourself, before showing the room)  So… this is where I’m supposed to stay. And it smells like death. But, hey, at least we’ll get some good footage. Right? Haha… 

You explore the room in search for the source of the smell. Eventually you find it: it’s the mattress. You almost don’t want to look. The last thing you want to find is an animal or fungus and mold. You pull the mattress back in what feels like slow motion. 

…There’s nothing. You frown and put the mattress back down, only to feel something hit your arm. You look down in confusion, finding a drop of water running down your forearm. You pan the camera up slowly, unable to hide a choked gasp as you see the hole in the roof above. Zooming in on it reveals a consistent flow of liquid.

You (to the camera)  It’s supposed to rain tonight too. Great. 

You pause the camera and watch the ceiling for a moment, before confirming that it’s still leaking. Damn it. You’ll have to find somewhere else to sleep. There is a sofa a ways down the hall… You could just sleep there.

You’re sitting on the sofa for no more than a few minutes when Hannibal exits his room and heads down the hall, pausing when he sees you.  

Hannibal  What are you doing out here? 

You Um… nothing important. 

Hannibal  (astutely) What is it?

You  (sighing defeatedly)  My room had a hole in the roof. And it’s raining, of course. 

Hannibal (with a sympathetic smile)  Of course. 

Hannibal …I’d be happy to share my room with you. 

You (politely) No, it’s fine— 

Hannibal  I insist. Can’t have you getting sick—it’s drafty out here. 

Hannibal’s soon helping you to your feet and guiding you with a hand on your shoulder, leaving you no choice but to share his room with him. 

INT. – Hannibal’s hotel room. Early the next morning. You’re wearing a simple shirt and sweatpants; Hannibal is wearing a cardigan and slacks. His version of a casual outfit, you suppose. 

Hannibal (looking at the camera)  So we were roused— 

You  (interjecting, briefly panning the camera down to the floor)  Wait, wait, wait. You should probably just say “I”.

Hannibal  Why?

You Otherwise, y’know. We shared a room, people will think… 

Hannibal I don’t mind. 

You (surprised) Oh. Okay. Then… start over, I guess. 

Hannibal  (staring at the camera once more)  We were roused this morning by an ear-piercing shriek, which proved to be a rooster outside… 

Twitter

Trending Hotel Hell Related tags: #HotelHell, #HotelGayHell, #ChefLecter

spaghettihands what am i watching and why do i love it SO MUCH #HotelHell

imeankingggg Production is WILD for keeping the whole Maxine/Camera Guy interaction in the show #HotelGayHell

→ grrrrr8ate: RIGHT????? 

→ fuygieri: hannibal seemed lowkey jealous

→ greenhamneggs: LOWKEY??? Bitch he was so snippy with maxine after

→ ooglyboogly: trueeee

drhouseapologist that shit was so gay. They stayed there OVERNIGHT. TOGETHER. IN THE SAME ROOM??????????? #HotelGayHell

→ bananananana: lIKRRRRR i’m in shamblessss

→ crystalmegs: and judging from the clip he filmed, the camera guy had his own room!!! I think his was the one with the hole in the ceiling 😭

→ grianbriffin: ^i just know that mildew smelled so rank 

→ yagamilightoh: YES BECAUSE HANNIBAL SAID “we were roused” 

→ yugylimaf: WAS THERE ONLY ONE BED????????

→ thespudhutmanager: LORDDD the people need to knowwwwww pleaseeeeeeEEE

yopapa anyone else think it’s funny that hannibal dresses so nicely to go to these absolutely awful hotels and restaurants

→ user39751: yes lolllll

→ toucanscram: he’s so charming that i think people forget he’s there to tear them apart

→ tropicannotdothis: **help them. supposedly. hahaha. 

INT. – Sylvie’s Bar and Grill. Noon.

What was a relatively peaceful lunch hour is quickly interrupted by the sound of loud music. Dancers draped in gaudy, revealing golden fabric weave their way through the tables. Everyone is immensely uncomfortable. The display is entirely unnecessary and inappropriate—there are children eating at the restaurant.

You’ve had plenty of memorable moments throughout the seasons you’ve been filming, but this one easily takes the cake. It doesn’t help that one of the dancers locks eyes with you (or the camera, you’re not sure) and advances on you, to the point where you’re backing away from her. Her hand grazes your arm and you can’t scramble back nearly quick enough for your liking. In your attempt to escape, you bump into someone behind you. 

A sudden hand on your shoulder makes you flinch. Fear races through you.

Chef Lecter (reassuringly)  It’s just me. 

His hand slips from your shoulder. You’re barely paying attention to the shots you’re getting, at this point—too wound up from what just happened. There’s a displeased expression on the chef’s face. He clears his throat pointedly. 

Chef Lecter (firmly) Please do not touch my crew. 

The air falls silent. The music is paused. The entire restaurant seems to be holding its breath. The diners are uncomfortable, and the dancers are still. Eventually, they retreat and return to service. 

You (turning to Hannibal) Thanks.  

Hannibal Of course. Are you all right? 

You Um… yeah, thanks. 

Hannibal (imploringly) Take a breather, please. I can’t imagine we’ll need any more footage of… that.  

He looks disgusted, annoyed. Repulsed, even. It takes you a moment to comprehend his offer, but once you do, you nod jerkily and head out the side door of the restaurant. You pause your camera and take a deep breath. Within a few minutes, you’re composed enough to return to the restaurant. Seeing Hannibal berate them in that sophisticated diction of his is all you need to feel better. 

YouTube

kitchendreamsfan1

chef lecter simping for the camera guy for six minutes gay 

featuring some moments from hotel hell!! if you haven’t watched it, then you should. episode 5 at Dumort Hotel has a shit ton of gay moments between these two. mwhahahha… 

Comments: 

diefrownhate: you are a SAINT

→ broombroommm: a POPE

→ keonlennedy: a BISHOP

→ poppyistired: pope is better but alright…

→ keonlennedy: shut up i don’t know christian mythology leave me alone

→ poppyistired: christian mythology? i’m stealing that lolol

saphael4L: lecter putting his hand on the camera guy’s shoulder at 3:04 !!!!!!! and the fucking look on his fucking face!!!!

dokidokidookie: do you think they’ve explored each other’s bodies

→ charizander: do you think you could log off for me

→ dokidokidookie: never

→ charizander: ok well i’ve done my civic duty idc anymore

INTERIOR – Colby’s Restaurant. Morning. 

Chef Hannibal Lecter has a reputation for being cool, calm, and collected. He never lashes out at people, never even reacts to their insults. And most people, they’re able to recognize that—and respect it. But there will always be morons. 

This particular owner, Colby Smith, is a piece of fucking work. He’s been a complete and utter asshole to his staff, his customers, the crew, and even Hannibal himself from the very beginning. And while Chef Lecter has a commendable amount of patience, it isn’t limitless. 

Colby is going on another tirade, hurling insults left and right. He’s cursing so much that practically every other word will have to be censored. And the target of his ire? Hannibal. That’s right. Hannibal Lecter, the angel who gives people second and third chances when they don’t deserve them. 

All it had taken was a simple question from Hannibal for Colby to go ballistic. Suddenly he’s spouting off about being emasculated, manipulated, used for profit, forced to play a role, painted as the villain. He goes on and on and on. 

Hannibal is… uncharacteristically silent. Usually, he attempts to reason with people. Today, he is silent and nearly frozen in the face of this owner’s criticisms. And even as you keep filming, you can’t shake the feeling that something’s genuinely upsetting him. 

“Cut!” the director yells. 

Hannibal is tense. His shoulders are drawn tight. His posture is perfect as always, but it almost looks rigid now. He hasn’t budged since the cameras stopped rolling. 

You’re moving before you can think better of it. 

You  Audio’s a bit spotty. Hannibal, mic check, come on.

The audio’s fine. You just needed an excuse to get him away. And you get the feeling he wouldn’t want to be asked after in front of the entire crew. So you lead him through the restaurant and to the alleyway outside. 

You (considering him for a moment)  Are you okay?

Hannibal  (without hesitation)  Of course.

You don’t believe him. 

You  Just take a few minutes. 

You can’t help but sneak concerned glances at him. Hannibal is quiet, much too quiet. The blank expression on his face would fool most, but you’ve been working with him long enough to recognize when it’s a facade. 

Hannibal is still silent. You feel compelled to speak, to reassure him somehow.

You You always want to help people. You see the best in them. And I’ve always respected that about you.

More silence. 

You (gaining more confidence)  But you need to know when to draw the line.

Hannibal is looking at you now. 

You You don’t owe these people anything. They’re fucking dicks. And if they can’t accept your help, then they sure as hell don’t deserve it.

There’s a pause. Neither of you try to fill the silence. You study Hannibal. There’s a harsher pull to his lips now. His mask is cracking, slowly but surely. 

You (slowly) You can’t help everyone. I know it sucks, but it’s the truth. 

Hannibal  (exhaling in a measured breath)  You’re right. 

You  (jokingly)  And I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but there’s no shortage of bad restaurants in this country. 

Hannibal (a hint of a tired smile rising on his lips) I am beginning to realize that, yes. 

Twitter

Trending Kitchen Nightmares Related Tags: #ChefLecter, #CameraGuy

wildonesare oh the camera people were SO SHADY for filming that convo between hannibal and the camera guy… not that i’m not grateful, ofc 😏 #KitchenNightmares

→ torturedpoetrydept: IKR

→ phineasferbfanfic: they made that shit as dramatic as possible

→ boo_briangriffin_boo: right??? no video, just audio?? and the subtitles were crazy too. “loaded silence” ????  like, helloooo??

grapesouda did we really just find the one restaurant that even hannibal lecter couldn’t save? #KitchenNightmares

→fourthpowerpuffgirl: lord i think we did

→ nerfornuthin: the owner seemed like such a fucking dick, hope he rots <3 

→ fourthpowerpuffgirl: supposedly he’s in prison now, so… i think he probably is rotting

→ nerfornuthin: …oh! oh! i didn’t know that LOLLLL

→ fourthpowerpuffgirl: ahaha you’re good, dw abt it. i think it was pretty recent. 

thatsnotbullying the camera guy was so sweet i’m sobbing

→ kissmya33: hannibal probably appreciated it so much

 

asstutes I HAVE A THEORY THAT THE RUSTLING CLOTHES AT THE END OF THE CONVO WAS HANNIBAL & THE CAMERA GUY HUGGING #KitchenNightmares

→ potatoh_: GENIUSSSS

INT. – Jack Crawford’s car. Jack Crawford, the host of Bar Rescue, has invited Hannibal and you as guests for the episode. He’s visiting a bar in Virginia called Sadie’s. 

Hannibal and you enter the car. You’re nervous, your chest practically stewing in unease as you hop into the backseat. Maybe you can just sit here quietly, and everyone will forget you exist. 

Jack Crawford Welcome, you two.

Hannibal We’re delighted to be joining you.

Jack Crawford Chef Lecter, you’re an expert on food. And you’re— (he turns to glance back at you)

You (quickly) I’m not an expert on anything. 

Jack Crawford That’s not what I was going to say. 

Hannibal (chidingly)  Don’t sell yourself short, dear. Besides, if there’s one thing these people are lacking, it’s common sense—something you have in spades.

Jack Crawford Very good. There we go. 

A few beats of silence. 

Now, before we get started, I have to ask: are you two close?

You decide to wait for Hannibal to answer. 

Hannibal We’re good friends, yes.

You blink in surprise. Truthfully, you thought the same—but you didn’t want to make any assumptions. Plus, Hannibal isn’t exactly the type to make friends. You’re happy to hear he sees you as a good friend, though. The two of you have been working together for a few years now, after all. 

Jack Crawford Excellent. Just asking for the fans. (he winks at the camera)

Twitter 

Trending Bar Rescue Related tags: #ChefLecter, #JackKnows

mikuhatsunemikukuuuu LMFAO Jack wasn’t slick 🤣 “asking for the fans” yeah right… #JackKnows

→ corporatepridemonth: i mean he was brave enough to ask to their faces so

→ byebyebyeeee: right???? he said what we were all thinking. the voice of the people. 

→ waitin4u: sry… what is it we’re all thinking

→ user9191: that hannibal and the camera guy are dating!

→ waitin4u: ohhhh! well duh 

→ user9191: lmfao exactly 

boomboompowww the camera guy was so self-deprecating 😭😭 which, i mean, mood. but also SIR YOU DESERVE TO BE IN THAT CAR 😭😭 

→ therealjoeyjoe: yeah he’s probably more familiar with crazy people than hannibal and jack. just because of his crew job on the shows. 

→ tyyoufish: i just know he has some wild stories…

→ witharakemom: and then hannibal noticing he’s being quiet and encouraging him to talk after😭😭 

→ comeonbeverly: omfg i didn’t even notice that until now!!!!!

INT. – Jack Crawford’s car. Some time has passed since you both first entered. The three of you watched the bar through the hidden cameras for a while. 

Jack Crawford (determined)  Now, I have a bit of a special assignment for you two. You’re going to join me for recon. We’ll go in and pose as customers. Are you ready? 

You Ready as I’ll ever be.

Hannibal nods in evident agreement. 

Jack Crawford Good. Let’s go.

The three of you exit the car and enter the restaurant. You’re seated at a table, Jack Crawford next to you and Hannibal across from you. 

You It’s weird being on the other side of this. 

Waitress Hi, folks. What can I get started for ya?

Hannibal Do you have a drink menu?

Waitress No.

Jack Crawford Alright. He’ll get a Manhattan and I’ll get an old-fashioned. And he’ll have—

Oh, and she’s walking away already. 

(laughs disbelievingly, staring after the waitress before shaking his head)

You It’s okay; I’m fine with water, actually. 

Jack Crawford Your liver thanks you. 

You laugh. 

Jack Crawford And apologies, Chef Lecter, for ordering without asking you first. I’m sure you’d prefer wine, but judging from the look of this place…

Hannibal (nodding) They don’t have it. 

Jack Crawford Exactly. Now, let’s take a look at the menu. I’m going to defer to Chef Lecter here for some of the specifics. 

Hannibal (humming) This is a strange menu for a bar. These items aren’t exactly… affordable to the standard bar patron. 

Jack Crawford I agree. $30 for a burger is highway robbery. But we’ll be ordering it, of course. When our waitress remembers to come back.

Five minutes pass… then ten… then fifteen. 

Jack Crawford I suspect she’s forgotten about us. Not great service.

Hannibal No. And I believe I see the bartender sneaking drinks over there. 

Jack Crawford Great. Just great. 

The waitress returns after around twenty-five minutes, which Crawford times on his watch. 

Jack Crawford (greeting her) Ah, so you do remember us. Where are our drinks?

Waitress (motioning back to the bartender) He’s making them.

Jack Crawford Well, in the meantime, we’d like to order some food. Let’s do… the nachos, the bison burger—medium, please—the mozzarella sticks, and the pepperoni pizza.

Waitress Got it.  (walks away)

Jack Crawford I tried to simulate the dining experience with that one. Sometimes, we have recon order the whole menu. I have a feeling we won’t need to do that here.

Hannibal I suspect you’re right. 

The bar is, safe to say, a complete and utter mess. Most of the staff is drinking and messing around. Some aren’t even behind the bar. And the owner, as Jack points out, is taking shots and flirting with the customers. One bartender passes by another, calling her a “messy bitch” and “whore.”

You  I can say I’ve had some similar experience. My first job was working for a fast food place—I did headset for the drive-thru. Minimum wage, close quarters, busy lunch and dinner hours, rude customers… I get it. But that’s no excuse to be talking to coworkers like that. 

Hanniba I agree.

Jack Crawford I’ve noticed these things often happen because of a lack of management. The owner or manager doesn’t have any credibility, so the employees get comfortable. They do whatever they want because they can get away with it. And the blame lies with both parties there: the owner and the employee. 

You Also, I don’t think people realize that having a bar means having a business. It’s not a playground or a hang out space for your friends. So many of these people just buy a bar because they think it’ll be fun. Free drinks! But it sinks them every time. 

Hannibal and Jack are both quiet.

You (self-consciously) What?

Hannibal (sincerely) I couldn’t have said it better myself. 

Jack Crawford (nodding in agreement) Yes, that’s what this often boils down to, isn’t it? These owners never consider the practical parts of running a business: food and drink costs, labor costs. They don’t enforce any kind of standards; they let their staff get away with whatever the hell they want. And then they wonder why they’re failing. 

You I don’t envy you, Jack. 

Jack Crawford (diplomatically) Oh, I’m sure you two can relate. You’ve seen hotel and restaurant owners of the exact same breed. 

Hannibal Yes, we have. 

You Hannibal definitely has the harder job. I just have to film it. 

Hannibal (politely) We’ve both had our moments. You’ve been nearly stampeded by chefs before, if I recall correctly. 

You Oh, yeah, that’s true.

The waitress returns with the drinks. 

Jack Crawford (muttering) Right on time. 

Hannibal frowns down at his drink. Jack does too. 

You I’m not an alcohol expert, but… that doesn’t look right.

Hannibal (takes a sip, pulling a face for a fraction of a second) That’s revolting. 

Jack Crawford (takes a sip of his drink) Disgusting. This doesn’t taste anything like an old-fashioned. 

You How long do you think the food will take? I’m guessing… thirty more minutes.

Jack Crawford At least.

As expected, the food doesn’t arrive for forty minutes. It doesn’t look particularly appetizing: the bison burger is dripping with grease, the nachos are a giant clump, and the pepperoni pizza has sauce on top of the cheese. Maybe the mozzarella sticks are safe? You hesitantly poke at one with a fork. 

Hannibal Don’t eat that, sweetheart. 

You blink, surprised to find his hand on your wrist as he prevents you from putting your fork into the mozzarella stick. 

You Okay, I won’t. But I’m curious to see what it looks like on the inside. 

Hannibal’s hand slips away; you cut through the mozzarella stick with the side of your fork. The inside is a liquidy mess. You put a hand over your mouth in disgust before thanking Hannibal. He nods and smiles ever so slightly in return. 

Jack Crawford This is so disgusting. And look at these nachos.

Jack grabs a chip from the nachos and they emerge in one giant clump. 

Jack Crawford Chef Lecter, have you ever seen someone fuck up nachos this badly?

Hannibal Never. 

You That looks like it could be a decoration for the wall.

Jack Crawford (huffing as he holds it to the brick wall)  It does. 

You On that note, what kind of bar just has empty walls? This place is depressing. 

Jack Crawford I’ve seen alleys with more interior design. 

You Me too. 

Hannibal cuts into the burger with a fork and knife. His sleeves are getting closer to the juice dripping from the burger. You’re reaching out to push his sleeves up before you can stop yourself. 

Those stains would be a nightmare to get out. 

Hannibal (appreciatively)  Thank you. 

He pushes the sliced burger apart with the knife. The inside of the burger has no pink. 

Hannibal  This is well-done. 

You It looks past that. Like charcoal. 

Jack Crawford Here. 

Jack reaches out and removes the patty from the burger. Then he knocks it against the table. There’s a dull thunking sound, as if the burger is completely solid. 

You Oh, gross. 

Jack hits it against the table a bit harder and crumbs come off in chunks. 

Hannibal  The pizza dough looks raw. None of these dishes are successful. 

Jack Crawford I want to meet the chef who served these. Let’s go to the kitchen, shall we?

The three of you get up from your seats. You follow behind Jack and Hannibal, briefly pausing at the host stand. 

You Their computers aren’t even on. If they have a POS system they’re paying for… 

Hannibal Then they’re certainly not using it.

You (surprised he was listening) Right. 

You linger before the kitchen. Truthfully, you don’t feel like you should be here. The show usually has guest experts. But you’re not really an expert at anything, save for filming. 

Actually… that gives you an idea.

I’m going to grab some B-roll. Make myself useful.

Hannibal (frowning) You are always useful. 

You You know what I mean. 

You turn on the handheld camera you brought with you, before turning to Hannibal.

You You go tear their kitchen apart, and I’ll find a moldy toilet or something.

Hannibal (huffing a laugh) Sounds like a plan. 

INT. – Sadie’s. 

Hannibal and Jack are exploring the kitchen now. Jack looks disgusted, and even Hannibal looks mildly revulsed. 

Jack (pointing to a bin kept off to the side)  What the hell is that?

Hannibal  Looks like… raw chicken. 

Jack  Of course. Of course. Right next to the cooked chicken, in the same fucking freezer.

Hannibal A health inspector would have an aneurysm here. 

Jack That they would. 

The two of them investigate the filthy fryer and dirty grill with scrutiny. Jack inspects it for a few moments before seeming to come to a realization, glancing around the room. 

Jack Wait. Where’s your boyfriend?

Hannibal (without hesitation) He’s getting B-roll. 

INT. — Confessional.

Jack I had a feeling the two of them were dating. Lecter seemed moments away from climbing into the backseat to sit with the camera guy earlier. And he called him sweetheart earlier, too. Not very subtle, that one. 

They’re not dating. 

Jack They’re not? (sighs heavily)

Twitter

Trending Bar Rescue Related tags: #ChefLecter, #CameraGuy

bornbloodynbroken SWEETHEART???)?? BOYFRIEND???!??!? #BarRescue

melaniemartinezismygod #CameraGuy coming back to the kitchen confused 😭😭 mf knew he missed something important 😭😭😭

1kyokokirigiristan Swear on my life, #ChefLecter literally relaxed when the camera guy came back. 

→ demonicinfluence: I SAW THAT TOO 

generalgrievousrepairtech what do you mean he called him sweetheart. and then stopped the camera guy from eating that vile shit. the camera guy rolled up Hannibal’s sleeves for him. Jack just sat there amused. what do you mean this show isn’t for the gays??? #ChefLecter #CameraGuy #KitchenNightmares

→ swimmerladdy: there’s drama, drinks, and homoeroticism. that’s all i need. 

→ sportsgirl179: same tbh

thezoruark the way Jack was so surprised to hear they aren’t dating. willing to bet my life that there are more moments between #ChefLecter and #CameraGuy that got cut

→ hellokittyluvr: i need the full unedited version and i need it right NOW. raw footage. I don’t even CARE. 

kingkeonhee what the fuck is with my tl. why is everyone talking about this cooking guy and bar show. do i need to watch it orrrr….. #BarRescue

→ seokjinnie132: you don’t need to watch it, you can just be uneducated and uncultured.

→ kingkeonhee: oof, my pride… 

→ seokjinnie132: ahhahaa. kidding. jokes aside, the show is already chaotic and entertaining enough on its own. add two oblivious gay men and you have yourself a masterpiece. 

→ kingkeonhee: oh purrrrr i’ll check it out then

→ polywhirlygig: keep us posted. i expect an essay of book report length. 

→ kingkeonhee: don’t test me, because i will absolutely do that. 

→ polywhirlygig: wait actually just watch it on call with me, i need to see everythingggg

→ kingkeonhee: BET running to discord rn

INT. – Jack Crawford’s car. A few months after your first time on the show. 

Jack (looking at the camera near the dashboard) Now, our special guests for the episode are making a return appearance. These two were very popular with fans. I’d almost be insulted, if they weren’t my friends. At least, I think we’re all friends now.

Hannibal  Good evening, Jack. 

You Hey.

Jack  Hello, you two. I was just saying that we’re all friends now. Or I hope so, at least. 

You Yeah, we are. There are some things you go through that are just so horrible that you become friends after. Trauma-bonding. 

Hannibal  (amused)  Yes, we’re friends. It’s good to see you, Jack. 

Jack  You too, Hannibal. (looks to you in the backseat) And you, of course. 

You both will be pleased to know that I’ve hired two other people for recon tonight. 

Hannibal  That is a relief. 

Jack  They’re entering the bar now, as we can see on the screen here. On the left there is Alana Bloom, a practicing psychiatrist and good friend of mine. On the right is Freddie Lounds, a journalist. They’re heading in… Let’s see how they’re treated. 

Hannibal  Pardon me, Jack. 

Hannibal gets out of the car. Then, to your disbelief, he enters the backseat and sits next to you. At your confused look, he explains. 

I couldn’t see. 

You (skeptical) Right… So you moved further away from the screen. 

Silence. 

You If you wanted to sit with me, you could’ve just said that. 

Hannibal  (shameless) I wanted to sit with you. 

You (surprised)  Oh. 

Jack Enough flirting, you two. Take a look at this. The bartender is on the wrong side of the bar. 

You (leaning forward and considering the screen for several moments)  That one server’s busting her ass just to keep the place alive. 

Hannibal Right. And the bartenders aren’t even serving drinks. 

Jack  Oh, and now one’s offering “boob shots”.

You (covering your eyes) Oh no… No… 

Jack  I can see this is happening the opposite effect. 

You (muttering in disbelief) I’m too gay for this.

Hannibal’s eyes snap to yours. He looks incredibly amused. A few moments pass. 

Hannibal  (patting your knee briefly) You can look now. 

You (removing your hands from your face).  That’s crazy! That’s illegal. She could have the cops called on her for indecent exposure!

Hannibal  (sincere) You’re correct. This isn’t—or, at least, shouldn’t be—a strip club. 

Jack She would also lose her liquor license.

You Not to mention… that’s just inappropriate. 

Jack No wonder the place is filled with men—that’s what’s bringing them in!

The three of you are stuck in shocked silence for several minutes. Jack is the one to break through it. 

Jack And checking back with our recon agents… we can see they’re uncomfortable. Understandably. They’ve been sitting there for fifteen minutes. They still haven’t gotten their drinks. And here comes Paul, the owner. 

The three of you are quiet as you stare down at the screen for several minutes. 

Jack He’s drunk and he’s flirting with them. Not the best first impression. 

You Not at all. 

Hannibal  They look visibly uncomfortable. 

Jack  He’s practically sitting in their laps, at this point. And he’s married. Flirting right in front of his wife, who is the bartender. Completely ridiculous. 

You Let’s get them out of there. 

Jack  I’m with you. Let’s go. 

The three of you exit the car. 

Hannibal and you manage to get the owner away from Alana and Freddie. They seem relieved, to say the least. Jack has since stepped into the back, and you can hear him yelling at the owner from out here. Good. The guy deserves it. 

Then Alana, the psychiatrist, places a hand on Hannibal’s forearm and leads him to a nearby corner. They converse privately for a moment. Your eyebrows climb up your temple as you see how she’s practically draped herself over him. Freddie’s voice draws your attention. 

“That drink was nasty,” she scoffs. 

“I bet,” you grimace in sympathy, taking a look down at it. You’re not much of a drinker, but you can still tell what makes a good one. Fruit flies don’t make a good drink, that’s for damn sure.  

Hannibal comes back soon enough. Alana and Freddie exchange a look; Jack returns from the kitchen and leads them out of the bar, apologizing profusely for the situation he unknowingly put them into. 

Hannibal and you are left standing together now. “Hey,” you greet him. “Looks like you have an admirer, huh?” you joke, referring to the interaction you witnessed between Alana and him just now. 

“I was going to say the same to you,” Hannibal says, nodding at Freddie, who is being led out by Jack. 

You huff and ignore the remark, trying to ignore the strange tightness in your chest. “So, did she ask you out?” you continue. You know you need to stop talking, but you can’t quite get yourself to just shut up. “To a cleaner bar, maybe?” 

Hannibal exhales in amusement. “She did,” he admits. 

“And?” you prompt him. Why are you pushing this? You don’t think you even want to know the answer, you don’t want to be thinking about Hannibal sitting close to someone at a bar— 

“And I denied her,” he answers. 

“Aw,” you say, managing to smile sympathetically. Secretly, you’re relieved—even though you shouldn’t be. “Why? She seemed nice. She’s a friend of Jack’s, right?”

“I wasn’t interested,” Hannibal says with a brief shake of his head. His hands are in his pockets now. He seems completely at ease, despite the fact that he’s standing in the middle of a very dingy, dimly-lit bar. “And I have plans.” 

“Plans?” you repeat. “Look at you.” 

There’s a strange expression on Hannibal’s face. He almost looks… smug? You soon realize why. “You almost seem jealous,” he notes. 

“Jealous?” you echo. Fuck. “Me? Aha… No… definitely not. At all. Totally. I’m completely fine over here. Totally… good. Great, even.” 

You’re not sure how much longer you would’ve kept rambling if Hannibal hadn’t leaned in to kiss you. You’re immediately reminded of your first meeting, and how his hand found your shoulder as he got closer. Then, there was some room for interpretation. You had only just met. 

There’s no room for interpretation now. There’s nothing platonic about this gesture—he’s holding you tenderly, smoothly entering your space before swiftly breaking away. “You are ridiculous,” Hannibal says with a smile. 

“Oh,” you blink. Suddenly everything starts to make sense: all of the behavior you had just perceived to be friendly. “...Ohhh.” You smile. 

“Yes,” Hannibal responds with a knowing look. A fond one. 

“Okay, we’re going to redo that somewhere less filthy,” you assert. 

Hannibal is fully smiling now. You’ve never seen him look so expressive. His eyes are gleaming. “Yes, we are,” he promises. He reaches out and clasps your hand. 

The two of you don’t seem to break apart quickly enough, as Jack storms into the restaurant once more. He stops in front of you, seeming moments away from going on an angry tirade about the owner before he sees your hand in Hannibal’s. “Finally,” he says dismissively. “I thought you’d never get it together.” 

“Yes, thank you, Jack,” Hannibal replies in amusement. 

“Glad something good came out of tonight,” Jack says with a shake of his head. “Because the owner’s bat-shit crazy. I’m going to have my work cut out for me.” 

“You definitely will,” you acquiesce. “Have fun with that.” You smirk teasingly. 

“You’re lucky the fans love you,” Jack sighs, sensing that you’re leaving. 

You just smile. “Bye, Jack.”

“See you two,” he nods. “Hopefully in a slightly cleaner establishment next time.” 

“One can dream,” Hannibal responds. You all laugh before Jack heads into the kitchen again, leaving Hannibal and you standing outside the bar hand-in-hand. Hannibal glances over at you and smiles; you squeeze his hand. The two of you head out to the parking lot, the night air a welcome change from the stuffy and warm air of the bar. 

“You remember when we first met?” you ask. Your hand still clasps his. A cool breeze runs through the air and it’s refreshing. You feel safe here, comfortable enough to be vulnerable for a moment. You glance at Hannibal, awaiting his answer. 

“Of course I do,” he answers. 

“Were you messing with me?” you question. “With the kiss on the cheek thing, I mean.” 

“Oh, yes, I remember,” Hannibal recalls. A smirk dances on his lips. “Maybe.” 

“Seriously?” you nearly exclaim. “You had me second-guessing myself for months.” Years, even. But he doesn’t need to know that. 

Hannibal laughs. “Apologies,” he says, stopping in his tracks and turning to face you. His free hand moves to glide across your cheek, settling just near your jaw. “I just couldn’t help myself.” There’s an unmistakable fondness in his eyes. He’s staring at you like you’re the only person in the world. 

“And you say I’m ridiculous,” you remember to say. You can’t bring yourself to be cross with Hannibal for long, because he’s soon pulling you into another kiss and taking your mind off of that embarrassing encounter.

©2025, @defectivevillain | @defectivehero, All Rights Reserved. Reblogs are greatly appreciated—just don't steal or share outside of Tumblr, please.

i found Bar Rescue on youtube yesterday and i haven't been the same since.

anyways, thanks for reading! <3 PLS LET ME KNOW IF YOU ENJOYED THIS TOOK SO FUCKING LONG TO FORMAT

check out my other works, sorted by fandom.

friendly reminder that i don't give permission for my writing to be shared to other sites, stolen, copied, translated, or used in any way. thanks!

hannibal taglist: @its-ares @tobbotobbs @xrisdoesntexist @gr1mmac3 @tiredstarcerberuslamb @yourlocalratwriter @kahuunknown @atlas-king1 @pendragon-writes @slipknotcentury @cryinersaved @the-ultimate-librarian @starre-eyes @pendragon-writes @peterparkeeperer @gayschlatt69 @flow33didontsmoke @mrgatotortuga @house-of-1000-corpses-fan @faggotboulevard @hottskull @moarar

[raceweek]

hello. alexalblondo's rude anon coming here to humbly and politely beg for galex primer because i dont understand their history. george said he lived at alex's family's house at one point? how - weren't they already racing? sorry thank you humble thank you 🙏🙏

hello!!! thanks chris for the referral FKFJDKD

i have overwhelmed my alex and george tags so much that i fear i could never capture all of it but my galex key moment anthology is under the cut!!

karting/early single seaters

Alex thinks they met in 2011 but the footage in georges flip phone says he knew alex back in 2009.

Their first actual interaction (so far as they've told the world) was when alex was world champion with the intrepid karting team and bc he was their reference driver he was asked to help pick the drivers who were quick to replace him when he moved up and he picked george (and charles) so they were then part of that same intrepid driver programme for a while. Interestingly, alex was always at least one year above him bc of their ages and george says the fact they didn't really race directly against each other before 2016 was probably why they became such good friends.

They did a deep dive of their camera rolls from this time on twitch a couple years back and talked about the oldest pictures they have of each other in their camera rolls (1:25:36) which was cute.

2017

2017 is the year george basically lived with alex. They were also sharing a trainer whilst alex was competing in gp2 and george was in gp3. George was doing mercedes sim work at their factory so rented a flat in milton keynes near where alex lived but according to alex that rent was wasted money bc george had more meals at alexs' house than he did that year. Also as detailed in those links, the Great Mountain Biking Incident of 2017 occurred at this time so we have the fun mental image of george literally wheeling alex into a&e on a wheelchair bc that is an actual event that happened.

2018

George and alex both in f2 fighting for the title year wooooo!! They never really fought on track but we did get fun tidbits like when alex pipped george to the win at silverstone bc george had a slow pit stop and giggled about it in parc ferme (5:42) & these post session interviews.

also some incredible photoshoots.

2019

Promotion to f1!!! We started the year at winter testing and this nugget that they have both accepted that they are actually tied together by the strings of fate. They're doing fun media stuff like karting and bullying each other over percentage of apexs hit at the skypad (video). 2019 also the start of the umbrella sharing. They were just together a lot… more skypad analysis!!!

2019 also has MY personal favourite galex moment which was hockenheim 2019 and the 45 minute phone call galex had on the way home after george missed out on scoring what would have been his first point in f1 and only point of the season.

There was also the summer break and enjoying a training camp together, exchanging infections etc. Alex also took george to meet lily for the first time, bc that’s a normal thing to do.

There was also the rookie of the year vid, and the rookie season review vid at the end of the year. Much was happening.

2020

The year started with f1 trying to race during a global pandemic. Fun! On the singular media day before everyone realised just how stupid that was they were being annoying. The lockdowns did give us the twitch streams. George was initially so bad at virtual racing he had to secretly consult alex's brother for help behind alexs back. George was also actively seeking alex out like a missile at any given opportunity and at one point felt necessary to declare that he wasn't alexs boyfriend when someone asked if alex was going to be streaming that day. Anyway my lockdown twitchscapades tag has a post with a playlist of all the streams that haven't been lost or deleted if you want to feel joy and have a spare million hours.

Racing resumed in July with the covid team bubbles and within two races and one qualifying session george was defending alexs honour to sky sports and the world in a truly remarkable fashion.

At the end of the year alex was unemployed....even more tragic than this loss was that alexs career difficulties were so extreme he started ghosting george, which devastated him to the extent he needed to publicly drag him for it.

There was also george asking lily to post alexs n*des on instagram and lily responding with if anyone has them it would be you which was perhaps the last time george had access to his own social media password.

Despite george not liking it they celebrated alexs first podium by going golfing! and reverse! George was also gifted an alex albon signed autograph card for christmas and said that he'll put it somewhere special x

2021

The beginning of 2021 was during lockdown and there was more fun virtual gps except the only two drivers doing it were george and alex so they were just bitching and gossiping and threatening to steal strategies and abu dhabi 2016 each other. Particular shoutout to the time they had a virtual race on valentines day and alex put a suit on for it and george was baffled. Immediately after valentines day was georges birthday which lily used to thank george for letting her borrow his boyfriend from time to time.

Then the season started with george enduring the season alexless and not letting anyone forget about it. Alex was turning up to races after being locked in the simulator until the early hours posting stuff like this on instagram and otherwise stumbling over his words after getting whipped on the ass.

Perhaps the defining moment of the galex 2021 season was george pushing the williams board to sign alex so heavily that they had to actively shut him out of proceedings. Also at this time there was this cute congrats from alexs family and one from alex to georgie about the mercedes seat.

anyway here's some more random 2021 nuggets:

i've seen him topless a few times

george getting alex a good deal on a merc x

yet More golf

the handover

georges driver room

2022

They truly lost every inch of personal space in 2022 like. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. The back signing Hello.

2022 had alex having his appendix out, nearly dying and alexs family updating george whilst alex was in the icu and then when alex returned for the next race in signapore a couple weeks later (insane behaviour) george was like mmm audacious of him to be here.

Elsewhere alex discovered georges photoshoot and was making screensavers about it. Alex also discovered hair dye and george was making instagram stories about it.

other random 2022 nuggets:

george is alexs fave f1 driver excluding himself

this skit williams did of lily finding a huge picture of george in alexs driver room

whatever this image is of lily george and alex

private plane carpool

double date

2023

@onadarklingplain covers the whole year for you much MUCH better than i ever could here!!!!!

and that brings us to present where they're just as weird and freaky with each other as ever!!!

[theseventhdimension]

okay, so, i really liked the Triathlon story you wrote for Hotch x male reader, therefore, here comes a little spark of an idea it gave me

Say, the team split up on a case to go interview suspects or something and Hotch and reader get one that runs away but they’re like a track athlete or something and they take off after the suspect but reader has a lot more stamina and better pace? idk and Hotch calls like Garcia or someone to get them to track reader’s phone because they need to know where the suspect and reader are going? so the team is somewhat surprised to learn reader is so athletic?

idk, do what you want or not with this idea,

sending a virtual hug if you’d like it (consent’s sexy af)

Catch Me If You Can

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner + Gn! Reader (Their relationship comes off as platonic imo ^—^)

Word Count: 1.4k+

DNI: All are Welcome!

Author's Note: Shhhhshshshshhhhh we're going to ignore I've had this in my drafts for like 2 weeks now, okay? shhhhhh just take this shhhhh. (-‿◦☀)

Also, i would absolutely accept that virtual hug, and i will send you one back if you'd like it.

As always, all feedback is appreciated!! hope you enjoy ٩꒰ʘʚʘ๑꒱۶

The market is a riot of sound and motion.

There’s a dull hum of conversation, half a dozen languages tangled together in the air.

Somewhere, a kid is crying over a dropped popsicle.

A butcher slams cleavers into bone with metronome precision.

Color bursts from every stall—clementines piled high, rows of purple eggplants, threadbare umbrellas casting shaky shade.

You pass a crate of garlic so strong it makes your eyes water. It’s summer in the city, and the heat sticks to your shirt like anxiety.

You’re trying not to fidget.

Which is ironic, because your whole job right now is to spot people who are fidgeting.

The badge still feels too new in your pocket. The holster sits strange on your hip, like it doesn’t quite belong to you yet. You haven’t even memorized everyone’s coffee order on the jet, but you’re out in the field with Hotch in the middle of a live case, walking stall to stall in the hopes that someone saw something. Or someone.

It’s the perfect chance to prove yourself.

Which is exactly why your pulse is pounding like a bass drum.

“You’re sure?” Hotch asks the vendor beside you, voice low and even.

You glance sideways at the man he’s speaking to—a florist, maybe mid-thirties, sleeves rolled to his elbows, dirt under his nails, and shaking like a leaf. Not obviously. But enough.

The guy smiles a little too wide, scratches his arm once, twice. Blinks hard. Shifts his weight between both feet and back again.

And you see it.

It’s in the eyes first: a flick toward the alley to the left, toward the gap between stalls. The microsecond tightening of his jaw. The way his hand curls around the edge of the crate, not like he's steadying himself—like he’s about to launch.

You’re already moving before he bolts.

“Hey!” you shout, and then he’s off like a shot.

Hotch is right behind you at first, fast for someone who spends more time behind a desk than chasing suspects down alleyways, but you’re faster. You always have been.

Your legs remember before your brain does. How to lengthen your stride, control your breath, dodge between startled shoppers. Your shoes hit the pavement hard, rhythm steady. The suspect throws himself over a produce crate—you clear it like it’s the last hurdle on a track you haven’t run in years.

“Left!” you call over your shoulder. “Down the alley!”

You don’t have time to see if Hotch heard you.

Crates crash. A woman screams. Someone drops a whole tray of oranges and you dodge them, fast-twitch muscle memory in full control. You’re running full tilt now, weaving through the market like it’s a course you’ve trained for your entire life.

Because it is, in a way.

You used to run like this every day. For glory. For medals. For scholarship scouts.

Now you’re running for a criminal.

And—okay—you might be enjoying this just a little.

You and the suspect tear through the market like a two-man wrecking crew.

He’s fast, you’ll give him that. He vaults a crate of papayas, nearly slips on a puddle, and knocks over a display of novelty hats, but he keeps going. You match him step for step, weaving past startled vendors and ducking under flapping tarps. Someone yells. A basket of lemons explodes across the pavement.

“Move!” you shout as you hurdle a cart stacked with onions. The air is thick with spice and sweat and the sharp tang of crushed fruit.

You’re gaining. Every sprint drill, every bleacher stair, every grueling race in eighty-percent humidity—your body remembers. Your legs burn, but it’s a good burn. A familiar burn. You haven't felt this alive since your last national qualifier.

Behind you, you hear Hotch yell your name—but it’s faint, and getting fainter.

Hotch stops short, breath ragged, hand already pulling his phone from his pocket.

“Garcia,” he barks, already moving again, slower now, dodging a fruit stand. “I need you to track newbie’s phone. They’re in pursuit of a suspect, headed southeast from the market square—no backup, no visuals.”

There’s a pause. A soft click of keys.

Garcia’s voice comes through the comms, laced with concern:

“Uh, yeah, I see their GPS… wait, how fast are they—? Are you sure this isn’t a bicycle?”

Morgan breaks in, grinning. “What’s going on, Hotch?”

“They ran after a suspect. Took a sharp turn and disappeared.”

“You lost the newbie?” Emily says, half-laughing. “What are they doing, parkour?”

Garcia’s typing gets louder. “No, no, this is wild. I just pulled their high school track records—Hotch, they were state level. Cross-country, middle distance, relays. Almost went D1. Why is this the first time I’m hearing about this?!”

Hotch doesn’t respond. He’s too busy trying to breathe through what might be early cardiac arrest.

You duck under a tarp, breath steady, legs pumping, and leap over a stack of overturned milk crates without slowing. The suspect’s about ten feet ahead and flagging—his pace is wild, desperate. Yours is measured. Calculated. You’re in your rhythm now, lungs expanding just right, shoes slapping the pavement like music.

He glances back. Big mistake.

You launch.

Your shoulder slams into him with practiced force, sending both of you sprawling to the ground. He scrambles, but you’re faster, already flipping him over and jamming your knee into his spine. His chest heaves under you as he swears, writhes, tries to twist out of your hold. You twist his wrist just enough to get the cuffs on with a satisfying click.

“You’re under arrest,” you say, breath still smooth, like this is just a Tuesday jog.

People nearby stare—some pause, some scatter. Someone’s dropped a bag of oranges that roll around like startled mice. You don’t notice. Your blood’s buzzing too hard to care. You forgot how much you missed that rush—how easy it is to fall back into it. No gun drawn. No backup in sight. Just you, instinct, and muscle memory.

You straighten, dragging the guy to sit against the brick wall behind you.

Footsteps pound behind you, heavy and uneven, and then Hotch rounds the corner, bent slightly like he’s about to pass out.

He slows when he sees you, taking in the suspect cuffed and sulking on the ground… and you, standing above him, barely winded.

Hotch doesn't speak. Just breathes hard, lips parted, eyes slightly wide. You give him a beat. Two. Then tilt your head.

“…You alright?”

He lifts one finger. “Don’t talk to me right now.”

His chest is rising and falling like he ran a marathon. Which, for him, this probably was.

Your comm crackles. “Okay,” Garcia’s voice says, far too loud in your ear, “I’ve pulled your high school track records and I just need to ask—WHAT?”

There’s a pause. You don't respond. She keeps going.

“You almost went pro? You were state champion three years in a row and you just—never mentioned that?!”

You shift your weight and glance at Hotch. He’s finally upright again, wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of his sleeve.

Garcia’s still rambling. “Do you know how many medals you had? You got scouted. You literally turned down Stanford. What are you?!”

You shrug. “Didn’t want to run in circles forever.”

Hotch exhales hard through his nose, like that sentence alone might kill him.

He doesn’t speak for a few seconds. Then, dryly:

“You could’ve warned me.”

You pat the cuffs on the suspect’s wrists and smile faintly.

“You said this would be a low-impact day.”

He gives you a sharp look, but it’s undercut by the way his mouth twitches like he’s trying not to smile. The lines around his eyes crinkle as he finally turns back toward the street.

“Let’s get him processed,” he says. “And next time? You chase. I’ll stay at the perimeter.”

You follow him out of the alley, still riding the endorphin high, half-listening to Garcia muttering over comms about pulling up every archived stat you’ve ever had.

It’s not exactly how you expected the day to go. But hey—at least now the team knows what you’re made of.

And more importantly, so does Hotch.

.

.

.

"Uh, hey Hotch? ..Do you think I'll have to be the one to pay for the broken crates of food?"

[maxiglow]

Girl I’m having an interview soon and I need advice asap

bestie, i’m sorry if i answered your ask too late. if so, i hope everything went well! you got this!!

i’m assuming it’s a job interview, so here’s my two cents since i already participated in some job interviews with my manager:

first of all, hiring managers are used to people lowkey panicking in interviews, specifically if the person is young. everything’s all right, i promise.

prepare like a boss

nothing kills confidence like feeling unprepared. before your interview, deep dive into the company (their mission, values and recent news), stalk them (in a normal way ofc!)

don’t forget to train your answers to the most common questions like “tell me about yourself” (try to make it a storytelling, not a list, it’s more engaging), “what are your strengths/weaknesses” (be honest, but most importantly strategic) and “why do you want to work here?” (we all know it’s because no one likes to have no money and starve, but tie it to your values)

dress like you already got the job

looks do matter, first impressions as well. even if it’s a virtual interview, your outfit should say “i know my worth.” dress according to the area you’re applying to and always putting something about you in it.

don’t forget to have good posture and manners

i already participated in a job interview with my manager where she ruled out the possibility of hiring a girl simply because her posture was horrible: slouched and hunched, voice dull and dragged and she spoke while looking at the table all the time, never looking to our eyes even once. she had a great curriculum, but a bad posture overall and that counted a lot. i know it’s shitty, but that’s how it works

speak with confidence (even if you’re nervous af)

first, take a deep breath. you got this! try to talk slowly and clearly. if you don’t know the answer of something, it’s better to say “that’s a good question, let me think about for a second” than panicking. try smiling more too, it makes you sound more confident.

show them you’re part of the solution

hiring managers aren’t just looking for someone qualified, they want someone who makes their life easier. tell them how you can solve their problems and give real examples of how you added value in past jobs.

at the end, thank them for their time and reinforce yourself!

[tavolgisvist]

'So there's a story...'

I'll buy you a diamond ring, my friend If it makes you feel alright I'll get you anything, my friend If it makes you feel alright 'Cause I don't care too much for money Money can't buy me love <…> I'll give you all I've got to give If you say you love me, too I may not have a lot to give But what I got, I'll give to you <…> Say you don't need no diamond rings And I'll be satisfied Tell me that you want the kind of things That money just can't buy I don't care too much for money Money can't buy me love

(Can't Buy Me Love, Jan/March 1964, A Hard Day’s Night)

… Baby says she's mine, you know She tells me all the time, you know She said so I'm in love with her and I feel fine I'm so glad that she's my little girl She's so glad, she's telling all the world That her baby buys her things, you know He buys her diamond rings, you know She said so She's in love with me and I feel fine

(I Feel Fine, Oct 1964, single I Feel Fine/She's A Woman)

Asked a girl what she wanted to be She said, "Baby, can't you see? I wanna be famous, a star of the screen But you can do something in between" <…> I told that girl that my prospects were good And she said, "Baby, it's understood Working for peanuts is all very fine But I can show you a better time" "Baby, you can drive my car Yes, I'm gonna be a star Baby, you can drive my car And maybe I'll love you" Beep-beep'm-beep-beep, yeah …

(Drive My Car, Oct 1965, Rubber Soul)

I started working at a coil-winding factory called Massey and Coggins. My dad had told me to go out and get a job. I’d said, ‘I’ve got a job, I’m in a band.’ But after a couple of weeks of doing nothing with the band it was, ‘No, you have got to get a proper job.’ He virtually chucked me out of the house: ‘Get a job or don’t come back.’ So I went to the employment office and said, ‘Can I have a job? Just give me anything.’ I said, ‘I’ll have whatever is on the top of that little pile there.’ And the first job was sweeping the yard at Massey and Coggins. I took it. I went there and the personnel officer said, ‘We can’t have you sweeping the yard, you’re management material.’ And they started to train me from the shop floor up with that in mind. <…> One day John and George showed up in the yard that I should have been sweeping and told me we had a gig at the Cavern. I said, ‘No. I’ve got a steady job here and it pays £7 14s a week. They are training me here. That’s pretty good, I can’t expect more. And I was quite serious about this.

(Paul McCartney, The Beatles Anthology)

But Paul would always give in to his dad. His dad told him to get a job, he dropped the group and started working on the fucking lorries, saying, 'I need a steady career.' We couldn't believe it. Once he rang up and said he'd got this job and couldn't come to the group. So I told him on the phone, 'Either come or you're out.' So he had to make a decision between me and his dad then, and in the end he chose me.

(John Lennon, Yoko Ono, St. Regis Hotel, New York, September 5th, 1971, interview with Peter McCabe and Robert Schonfeld)

I’d brought a version of it [‘Golden Rings’] out to John’s house in Weybridge, and we stalled when we got to the lines ‘You can buy me golden rings / Get me all that kind of thing’. We kept singing that over and over and couldn’t get beyond it because it was so shockingly bad. Part of the problem was that we’d already had ‘a diamond ring’ in ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’. ‘Golden rings’ was unoriginal and uninspiring. We couldn’t get past it. So we left it, went and had a cup of tea. When we came back, we started thinking of the woman as an LA girl. That improved things a bit. Then she wanted a chauffeur. <…> Once you get into creating a narrative and storytelling, it’s so much more entertaining. It draws you forward so much more easily. Now we were dramatising the interviewing of a chauffeur; we got over that dry moment and finished the song. It became one that didn’t get away. And its success had to do with getting rid of ‘golden rings’ and heading to ‘Baby, you can drive my car’. I know there’s a theory that rock and roll couldn’t have existed without the guitars of Leo Fender, but it probably couldn’t have existed without Henry Ford either. I’m thinking of the relationship between the motorcar and what happens in the back seat. We know that people shagged before the motorcar, but the motorcar gave the erotic a whole new lease on life. Think of Chuck Berry ‘riding along in my automobile’. Chuck is one of America’s great poets. ‘Beep beep, beep beep, yeah’. There you go. It was always good to get nonsense lyrics in, and this song lent itself to ‘Beep beep, beep beep, yeah’…

(Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, about 'Drive My Car')

*Paul means Berry's No Particular Place to Go:

Ridin' along in my automobile My baby beside me at the wheel I stole a kiss at the turn of a mile My curiosity runnin' wild Cruisin' and playin' the radio With no particular place to go

etc

for @m1ssunderstanding because

[topfsecret]

Seapunkification: A Bloodswap AU's Beta Trolls

Happy 413, esteemed Homestucks! The troll lineup for this bloodswap AU of mine is two years in the making... and it's finally done! ✨

alternate version + artist's notes + backstory under the cut~

Alternate Versions

As usual, the alternate version shows Karkat without his violetblood disguise.

.

Artist's Notes + Backstory

(warning: backstory contains spoilers!)

.

Feferi Megido (she/her)

Feferi Megido, the Catacomb Cuddler, looooves ghosts! She thinks that they deserve better than to be stuck haunting the mortal world, and so takes it upon herself to let the ghosts into her body and help them finish their unfinished business. She enjoys hanging out in places with a lot of death, and when she meets the Heiress, she travels to even more! (And maybe finds some love during it!)

Feferi is also the President of Cronusitis, a.k.a. the Bandlead Troubadour (Cronus Vantas) Fan Club, archiving the works of her favorite crooner. (That's why she wears 1950s-style clothes!) She'd do anything to get even the slightest scraps of Troubadour material, even travel to places full of death and danger (this is also how her ghost communion psionic powers and possession hobbies come in handy, she can be a medium that interviews dead Cronus-fans... though she wishes she could find the ghost of Cronus Vantas himself).

When Eridan Vantas told her that the Troubadour and the revolutionary Signless were one and the same, she decided to make it her goal to undo Imperial propaganda that separated those two figures and reveal the truth. At least to her fan club... but every big change starts with a small step!

.

Vriska Nitram (she/her)

Vriska Nitram was supposed to be under Imperial watch for being the descendant of the rebellious Corsaire (formerly Summoner, a.k.a. Aranea Nitram), but the Beguiler Dualscar/First and Grandest Orphaner (Kankri Ampora) had a soft spot for the Corsaire. Thus, by the grace of the Beguiler, she was spared the awful surveillance of most descendants of seditious trolls. She doesn't know this, though.

Also I made her taller. Sorry to all the short Vriska truthers 😔

Vriska is drawn with practical and casual clothes. This is just what she wears during VLARP-ing (Virtual Live Action Role Play) with Nepeta, Sollux, and Tavros (it was called "hyperrealistic TTRPG" in that old post :p), which she did after she stopped FLARP-ing.

Since Seapunkification is rather cyberpunk-y, with Makara Tech as the megacorp and the violetbloods as the Senatormentors that rule the Empire, VLARP-ing is seen as a more high-class, tasteful alternative for highbloods than FLARP-ing. After all, highblood lives are "more precious", unlike lowbloods who are so high in numbers they're "expendable" and so can just FLARP and die.

.

Kanaya Captor (she/her)

Kanaya basically wears Cyberclown attire without actually being cyber or clown, simply because she's Equius' assistant/errand girl/probably moirail.

She is weak in telekinesis and electricity, but extremely skilled at it from a lot of practice. Her psionic strength lies in precognition, which gives her a disability in form of constant hallucinations of visions of the past, present, and future.

.

Eridan Vantas (he/him)

Despite being the descendant of the Signless and the last surviving limeblood, Eridan is free-ish from Imperial watch, because the Signless Revolution's spies are protecting him. Moreover, his own limeblood illusion psionics is unwittingly shielding him and the people he cares about (Terezi and Kanaya) from Imperial surveillance.

While Kanaya is weak-but-skilled in physical psionics, Eridan's got no skill to wield his. In terms of raw power, he beats everyone else, but he isn't allowed to train himself by the Signless Revolution after accidentally burning someone to death in his wrigglerhood. That's why Kanaya has taken it upon herself to train him.

The Signless Revolution gives Eridan the task to fulfill the Fateseer's prophecy that the Signless' descendant will unite every troll across the hemospectrum. This task is to recruit at least one troll from every caste before he is exiled from the home planet in adulthood.

.

Terezi Leijon (ey/em/eir/eirs/emself)

Terezi is an assassin, who fashions emself as someone who reaps the souls of the damned (a.k.a. people who are against the Signless Revolution's values). That's easier said than done, however, since eir clients mostly want the opposite of what ey wants.

Oh well. In the meantime, ey trains with Eridan and Kanaya in preparation for the glorious revolution.

.

Sollux Maryam (he/him)

As the descendant of the Architex, Sollux is under Imperial watch. So he decides to escape the brooding caverns and constantly moves around, attending online school under a pseudonym, living off empty hives and selling the stuff in said hives. But this is not sustainable. And puberty makes him dysphoric. So he has to come out of hiding and find enough money to transition socially and medically. He also doesn't feel like he can live in isolation forever.

Here comes Tavros Serket with a golden ticket to gender validation.

Like Nepeta, he is under the employ of the ceruleanblood. He learns how to GM and uses VLARP-ing to find people that Nepeta can blackmail. He pursues Aradia Peixes - the Heiress - in a relationship of ambiguous quadrants to extort her, but unfortunately, Aradia knows that jadebloods are "not supposed to" have bifurcated horns... this is a distinctive trait too, like that one rebel called The Architex (a.k.a. Mituna Maryam). She used this information against him, but Sollux will definitely retaliate. (That's why his horns are cut off in this image, as this is Sollux post-"The Maryam Makeover".)

Also I decided to give Sollux short braids. Because Sollux with long hair (like in the VLARP art from 2023) is probably best saved for his adult self. *vibrates excitedly about the hypothetical Seapunkification friendsim*

Also Sollux hacks his own government files to legalize his and Nepeta's transition. Trans icon.

.

Nepeta Pyrope (they/them)

Nepeta Pyrope's more of a sheltered kid than Nepeta Leijon, so they wear cute and impractical clothes. The tail is decorative. They wear a lot of purple because of Equius, their moirail and benefactor. They only became Equius' "meowrail" to extort him and get closer to the Makara Tech fortune and secrets to bring the megacorp down and avenge their ancestor, but he doesn't know that yet.

Nepeta is under Imperial watch for being the descendant of Meulin Pyrope, the Neophyte Orphaner (the first and only teal-blooded Orphaner ever). The Neophyte was hated by the Empress for colluding with Kankri Ampora in turning the Empire into a violetblood hegemony - later, they got executed by Horuss Makara for their crimes. So, Nepeta tries their best to seem like a law-abiding citizen. (Somewhat. They decide to join Tavros Serket's criminal empire to get money for transitioning.)

They also avoid the Orphaner Corps at all costs - only violetbloods can be Orphaners now, sure, but they also don't want to work there in an administrative capacity, either.

Sollux and Nepeta are both ~ HACKERMAN ~, but he's more about having fun and Nepeta is more of the data analysis stalker who blackmails people for secrets, favors, and money by knowing their "weak spots" (friends and quadrants and other associates).

When not studying Imperial law, trying to avenge their ancestor, or committing organized crime, Nepeta is an avid roleplayer and fanfiction reader. Their favorite author is one VioletProse, a seadweller with a penchant of writing complicated love dodecahedrons and quadrant-mixing, complete with schedules and charts. They wish to meet VioletProse someday and talk about writing.

.

Tavros Serket (she/her)

Tavros pays for Nepeta and Sollux's transitions in exchange for a large cut of their profits. As Sollux and Nepeta undergo bodily changes and become happier and more euphoric, Tavros finds herself feeling Some Sort of Emotion.

Vriska, who is also a trans girl, decides that she'll hatch Tavros's egg, no matter how ready the cerulean may or may not be. She'll teach her the ropes! It'll be great!

.

Gamzee Zahhak (he/him)

Gamzee, as the descendant of the Salvation (Kurloz Zahhak) - the original inventor of the clown religion - is constantly under Imperial surveillance. He's basically a ward of the Cyberclown Church, living with Equius as a long-suffering fellow churchgoer.

He takes up engineering so he can go to the academy of Makara Tech and away from Equius' "friendship", enlisting the help of one Vriska Nitram (thus the bronze-colored tools in his hands).

.

Equius Makara (he/him)

Seapunkification presents to you our Short Equius Agenda.

Equius is basically ordered by his ancestor to proselytize people, including and especially Gamzee.

His ancestor, the Mirthful Messiah/the High Prieste% (Horuss Makara), stole and bastardized the Salvation's religion. The Salvation and his adherents dressed as clowns with tearful face paint, which mourned the Signless' death, using a clown persona as an homage to the Signless' pre-rebellion performer image. His adherents were supporters of the Signless and/or limebloods who were trying to escape the purge.

The Mirthful Messiah (with the help of the Beguiler and the Summoner) destroyed the Salvation's original clown church and turned it into a cyberclown church where adherents replace body parts with cybernetics in an act of mirthful creation. All the clown stuff is kept as a mockery of the rebellion.

Equius is intensely jealous of this violet-blooded fanfiction author that his meowrail constantly gushes about.

On the other hand, he longs to meet the descendant of the Beguiler and idealizes him, since Kankri and Horuss were besties when the former was still mortal...

.

Karkat Ampora (he/him, she/her)

Oh, Karkat Ampostor, they can never make me hate you.

Like Nepeta, he is a fandom-goer. He isn't a roleplayer, but he writes meta and fanfic. Under his pen name "VioletProse", Karkat is somewhat of a BNF in the fandom of "The Concupiscent Auspistice", a series of doorstopping corny semi-seditious quadrant-fucking romance novels.

I'm always drawing Karkat in a beskap, fake horns, and face paint/makeup now, at least when he's taking his disguise seriously. And since I'm already dressing him with an Indonesian attire, I think he can have a keris (dagger) as the Hallowed Sword he inherited from his ascended ancestor (who is wearing clothes inspired by Central Javanese wedding attire). The wavy shape of a keris is like his sign too!

Karkat's pants is an inner swimsuit like Aradia's (see below), except he uses adaptive, stretchy protective "shoes/socks" for his toes because like hell he's showing those red ones. The golden part is actually a knee brace with some modifications! He also wears gloves with finger splints, which are also gold. His classmates definitely notice that Karkat suddenly has a taste for makeup, jewelry, and fine clothes instead of just T-shirts like before his mutation.

Karkat's belt has nothing to do with a beskap-style attire, it's moreso a "pirate" aesthetic (he and Aradia wear belts with each other's caste colors~)

Also, if the Hallowed Sword is a keris, I would make his cane a lightsaber. Sorry, I make the rules here. Seapunkification is pretty cyberpunk, at least in my head. I'll work on it more! (I kinda wish that this AU was more worldbuilding- and- xeno- than character-driven sometimes xD)

.

Aradia Peixes (she/her, they/them)

Aradia has always been drawn with a kimono-style top that is folded incorrectly (as in, the way a corpse's clothes - not a living person's - are folded). At first, her skirt is longer and more layered, but I like the stingray look with the wide top and narrowing tail... and it's more fitting to Aradia's adventurous character to have practical clothes that let her run around and have fights.

I don't know how to work her arm-fins, so I ignored it for now xD I also removed her makeup because I don't think she'd wear it. But I added a bun, to make her look more princess-like. Her arm tattoos are horrorterror vibes, one is the deep ocean with eyes, and the other is the tentacles.

Now, her inner clothes! I decided she can wear stirrup pants-style diving-suit material, since it's athletic and also lets her swim (and is very princessy/ballerina-y, which has a classy feel). The open toes is actually because in Seapunkification seadwellers will have webbed feet and hands underwater.

The whip is two-sided, one side is a grappling hook and the other would be like, laser-style. It works underwater of course, Karkat's does too. Yes. I'm pushing it. >;D

[guster-animations]

Kamen Rider Gavv Episode 26 Production Blog

i said “who would even watch this vtuber” but then they showed that the vtuber was made by 2 college students. my apologies, those 2 college students who probably had like a week to do it

TOKU TRANSLATION MASTERPOST HERE

taken from this website

Looking at the Next Episode

The “Boy Meets Rakia” arc has ended, and the next episode will shine a spotlight on Hanto and his poor health. The secondary Rider has been written with the framework of a “mad scientist transformer” since the planning stage. He had a mentor, Shioya, but that one was already planned to exit from the time that he first appeared. Suga said at the very beginning, “I suppose this is a win-win situation,” so Hanto knows that he’s shady and has never fully trusted him, but he still regularly visits his laboratory… This might be related to Hanto’s job and how he’s lived up to now.

Is this the first time the main director, Teruaki Sugihara, is filming a serious Hanto moment…? In an interview, he gave accounts that “I thought he was just like me” and “I ended up liking him a ton” when meeting Yusuke Hino at auditions. Please pay attention to his loving direction.

And Suga… He is played by Shintaro Asanuma, who also has experience in suit acting. His love for the tokusatsu genre is extraordinary, and for this show he took on the role of “actor”. Since he’s so reliable, he was asked to do a lot of Granute-related exposition dialogue. He can show all kinds of facial expressions with one line… it’s very impressive.

We didn’t have everything about Suga planned at the start, so… he casually made us want to have him transform more and more every time we filmed him… And it’ll finally happen next episode! You’ll have to wait for two weeks, but everybody, please look forward to it while you watch the past episodes of “Gavv”.

(Written by Naomi Takebe)

The Episode in Short

Thank you for watching episode 26! It’s the second half of Director Shibasaki’s Rakia first-job arc, continuing from the previous episode.

Director Shibasaki also filmed episode 17, the one where Rakia first transforms. In episodes 25 and 26, the Granute Rakia deepens his understanding of humans through a job at the Hapipare. With these episodes bringing out an aspect of Rakia that hadn’t been seen before, the Rakia director (?) Takayuki Shibasaki showed many interesting things about him.

He’s worn the same clothes for a while now, but now he’s wearing something completely different from last time! While the colors of his innerwear are similar, his outfit has become much brighter-colored and makes a completely different impression. And he also wears the hat that was his trademark during his time doing sketchy work. It’s a favorite of the director, who says that “it’s cool to have a hat that makes his eyes slip in and out of view”!

“Aren’t the clothes created from your Mimic Key??” Even a Granute wants to look fashionable!!!!

Stolen Kabuto Man

This episode’s story also focused on the “Boy Meets Granute” cultural exchange between Rakia and Koji. Rakia hadn’t thought much of humans, but he once more shows his older-brotherly side towards Koji, as he did with his brother Comel.

For the establishment of Koji’s character, the director had the idea of “a social outcast everywhere in his class who doesn’t have many friends”, and his actor, Ayumi Yokoyama, gave a wonderful performance with that atmosphere.

The scene between Sachika and Rakia was also very striking. Like when she spoke to Shoma in episode 2, this scene conveyed Sachika’s beliefs very well.

The director also put a lot of time into the two’s performances in this scene!

This is the secret story behind Kabuto Man’s creation which wasn’t talked about in the last episode. After Nobuhiro Mouri first gave the idea of “a virtual streamer Granute”, we proceeded to plan the image of Kabuto Man from the script meeting stage.

For the episode, we asked a student at the Tokyo Communication Art Training School to design the character.

[I/We] actually visited the school building with the director, and gave a briefing to the student firsthand. nerujorlet was responsible for the concept art, and the animation was done by Yukinaga Kubota.

The order that the director gave for the concept art rough draft was, “I’d like you to make a beautiful man wearing armor with elements of a rhinoceros/kabuto beetle”. The excellent Granute coloring got an immediate “Okay!” from the director. Kubota created animations for many different expressions based on this drawing. It’s only a brief part of the episodes, but it moved expressively and smoothly, and the end product turned out incredible.

By the way, here’s the rough design for Koji’s Kabuto Man. On a closer look, it’s a design packed full of the details, like the components of sweets in the armor and helmet, and the drawing of a kabuto beetle on the patch!

A Pudding Brother and an Ice Cream Cake

Of course, a new aspect of Rakia that the director used as a theme for this arc is to “make Rakia look cool anyway”. [?] This shot, when he transforms from an Agent’s punch (which wasn’t in the original script), was another focal point of the direction. He said to look for the angle that would show Rakia in the coolest way possible.

The Vram PuruJelly Custom vs. L’Beet action scene! As retaliation for taking something precious to Koji, Rakia took L’Beet’s own most important things (his horns).

Jelly and kabuto beetles are a frequently-seen pairing, but the original predator-prey relationship has been reversed (Laugh)

And Gavv’s Blizzard Sorbet form also has new features this time! The ice cream cake that he ate in the last episode was unexpectedly brought into the action. Blizzard Sorbet Gavv uses the Gavv Whippia, and summons soft-serve (not whipped cream) soldiers!

Their aprons have turned into ice cream cones!!! It naturally wasn’t anticipated when the whipped cream soldiers first appeared, but simply altering the aprons is a surprising change!

Don’t listen to what anyone says. This is, without a doubt, soft-serve.

This episode also has fun new concepts, with the soft-serve soldiers becoming big and little… The useful but slightly absentminded soldier character was still there (Laugh).

The job to retake Kabuto Man’s channel has been successfully finished! Rakia usually likes to eat rocks, but it seems like he enjoyed the rich and pure pudding that Koji recommended.

For the second episode of a pair, it was a little more mundane than usual, but in the background, Suga has been doing some kind of suspicious thing… The glasses duo and their interesting conversation reek of danger.

Hanto, who has constantly been feeling unwell, visits Suga’s laboratory only to come across a devastating revelation.

Suga is being called “Master” by the Dark Shomas. What really is Suga’s motive? New developments of a never-before-seen bitterness are expected for next episode. Please look forward to it!

(Written by Ryohei Takahashi)

[scotianostra]

Scottish swimmer David Wilkie was born on March 8th in 1954, in Sri Lanka.

The second instance today about what makes you Scottish and to me David Wilkie epitomises what it means his own words spoken during his time in the USA.

“I will always remain Scottish, no matter what happens, even though my accent changes, even though I live in this country, I still maintain I am Scottish.” it speaks volumes.

As a child he would stay in the pool for hours on end or go to the beach and swim in the sea. He returned to Scotland to attend boarding school at Daniel Stewart’s College in Edinburgh. His time in Edinburgh brought him to the Warrender Club. Warrender was, at that time, famous for developing young swimmers.

Wilkie’s attitude could have brought his fledgling career to an early end. He struggled to get out of his bed to make the early morning training sessions, Bbt, when Wilkie was only 12, the club’s coach Frank Thomas spotted something in him, although it was not until 1970 that the promising swimmer began to shine.

Between 1969, when he won the Scottish Junior title, and 1970, when he won bronze at the Edinburgh Commonwealth Games, Wilkie shaved 30 seconds off his time in the 200m breaststroke. Wilkie wore a swim cap during the Commonwealth Games, making him the first elite swimmer to wear one in a major competition. It is also said to be the first swimmer to wear both cap and goggles in order to maximise the streamline effect within the water.

It was his performance at the 1972 Munich Olympics, when the 18-year old came from virtually nowhere to take a bronze medal, that he began to really show what his real potential. The performance won him more than an Olympic medal. The University of Miami, who had been monitoring his progress, decided to offer him a sports scholarship which enabled him to train every day whilst studying marine biology, although he soon switched to a degree in English and mass communication.

It was when at college there he said the quote from above in a BBC interview in 1976: “I will always remain Scottish, no matter what happens, even though my accent changes, even though I live in this country, I still maintain I am Scottish.”

Not surprisingly he thrived under the American scholarship system. In Miami, Wilkie trained intensively in the Olympic-sized outdoor pool daily. In the days when Olympics were still strictly for amateurs, being allowed to dedicate himself to his sport brought the best out in Wilkie.

In 1973 he went to Belgrade and won the World 200m breaststroke title, breaking the world record, and then regaining the title in 1975, while also winning in the 100m breaststroke.

At the Commonwealth Games in Christchurch in 1974 he picked up two golds and one silver and also added the European title to his collection that year. Wilkie was the only non-American to win one of the 13 gold swimming medals available at Montreal, the first British man in 68 years to do so.

On the world stage his biggest rival was the American John Hencken. The two men had an intense rivalry for all the breaststroke titles of the early ‘70s. According to the British Olympic coach Dave Haller, Hencken had the beating of him for speed because of his fast arm movements and was more suited to the sprint of the 100m, but Wilkie’s long rhythmic strokes meant he was better over the longer distance.

Honours were shared at the Montreal Olympics. Hencken beat Wilkie into second place in the breaststroke with the top three in this race all breaking the world record. Wilkie was pleased with his second place, especially as he had not prepared as thoroughly as he might by not shaving his body hair, which could cause drag under water.

Over the longer distance, Wilkie dominated, beating Hencken by metres and taking three seconds off the world record.

David retired while at the top, leaving the legacy of being Scotland’s best-ever male swimmer. I think many of you out there will have met him, he helped Scottish swimming for years, and I recall my wee sis, Sandra having her photo taken with him. Wilkie remains the only person to have held British, American, Commonwealth, European, World and Olympic swimming titles at the same time.

I found a great wee story about David Wilkie from a few years ago, Wilkie, then aged 61, was old off for swimming too fast at his local health club. In an 20174 interview he said he was astonished by the lifeguard informing him he was going too fast ."I was just swimming as normal in the pool, doing front crawl, and the lifeguard came up to me and said, 'I think you banged into somebody'. I said, 'it's the fast lane you know, this is rubbish'," Wilkie tore up his membership card and cancelled his membership in protest.

David Wilkie died of cancer on 22nd May 2024, at the age of 70.

[love-takes-work]

Welp. Finally some writing-related good news, at least.

(I know I don't talk about Writing Life here because this blog is my receptacle for all my fannish nonsense but whatever, I am in a rant mood)

So first (like I wrote about yesterday) I got e-mails from my agent about my work being in the pirated database used to train AI

Then I got a rejection on a story that took less than 24 hours for them to turn it around

Then I got another rejection on a story where the encouraging personal letter was so long that I was surprised to see "but we just didn't like the ending so we aren't buying the story (but please submit to us again because we super love this story except for, you know, how it ends)" at the end.

But!! It's not all poop. I just found out I'm going to be paid for something I thought I was writing for free. (I got asked to do the intro on someone's book and I agreed a long time ago. And turns out! It's paid work!)

What you actually get paid for in the World of Writing is really inconsistent and weird, so I guess I can't really be faulted for thinking it was volunteer work? Still, I would have done it for free.

I have never been paid for blurbing/endorsing (and have done it multiple times). You know, the testimonials books have where other people say nice things about the book to print on the back cover. Paying for that would probably be a conflict of interest anyway.

I have never been paid for an interview (have done dozens--magazines, blogs, radio, podcasts, TV/film a few times).

I HAVE been paid for appearances if people want me to come give a talk (and they pay travel arrangements too if it's not virtual).

I HAVE been paid for nearly all short pieces I've written for magazines (and one time when I did something unpaid for a magazine I liked, a much bigger magazine wrote to the publisher and asked to pay them to run my stuff. The publisher notified me and we split the money).

Of course I get paid royalties every six months for book sales.

I do NOT get paid for conferences (and don't get my travel paid for either). Even one time when I was asked to be the keynote speaker. (I ended up not doing it. Too much shit was happening at the time; I attended but did not do keynote. I don't know if they would have offered money for that but probably not.)

And for award submittals and awards ceremonies, *I* have to pay THEM (sometimes extra for after-parties, though me and a guest might get discounts). Offset a bit if I win prize money (this has also happened to me, just twice though).

But I have never been asked to do an intro before and had no idea this is one of the things you could get paid for.

YEAH MAN.

Would be super nice if this good news could continue for some other writing-related decisions I'm waiting for. A lot of places that I have short fiction out to have statements on their sites that look like "if it takes longer than X weeks it's possible your story has been elevated/is in serious consideration" and I have [checks records] holy crap SEVEN pieces out that are in that situation (and eleven pieces out that aren't that old yet).

Bummed that my newest really cool short story has now been rejected twice, though.

[brihaley213]

Flora’s relationship with other idols

ITZY X FLORENTINA

Flora and the members of ITZY are extremely close to one another. After all, she was training and supposed to be a part of ITZY when they debuted.

In the beginning, they were really upset that she was leaving them for an all-boy group, especially since that meant that they would be going up against each other in the showcase but both sides tried to support each other as much as they could.

She is ITZY's number one fangirl and all the girls of ITZY are Flora’s biggest fangirls on the planet. They always go shopping together and hang out in their free time. Yeji and Flora used to share a dorm in their training days, so randomly back then Yeji would wake up to she crashing at the dorm right up until ITZY debuted.

Lia and Yuna are very outgoing people, so they love to surprise her and also prank her just as much. She loves and gets annoyed by them. And then there's Chaeryeong who is probably the closest one of them to Flora, she gives good advice and always gets Nabi to smile whenever she's feeling down or just had a bad day.

Type: [BEST FRIENDS]

BLACK PINK X FLORINA

An interaction between the two in public doesn't happen often but when it does fans can't get enough. They mostly ship Florina with Jisoo but they live for the cute moments she gets with any of the other members.

Once in an interview, she admitted to being Jisoo's biggest fangirl and she thanked Jennie and Lisa for inspiring her as well as Rosé who openly supports her on social media.

Off-camera and privately, Rosé and Florina are good friends that enjoy each other's company. They hang out together in their free time and do movie marathons that the other BLACKPINK members don't want to do with Rosé. They also like to go bike riding together around the Han river.

Jennie and Jisoo always call up Florina whenever they're free on a weekend and want to go shopping. Her closet, much to SKZ's despair, is double the size it used to once be because of the two girls who're always buying clothes, accessories, and plushies for wolfchan.

She likes to keep Jennie company on days when the latter just wants to play with her dogs. She's also good competition for Jisoo when it comes to gaming.

And then there's Lisa who's been known to be a great motivator for Florina whenever she needs one. She goes to Lisa and the two have a lot of deep conversations about life and especially about the idol life they both lead. They also like dancing together and playing virtual reality horror games.

Type: [Sibling/Sisters]

Florina X ATEEZ

calls Florina 'little one' and they pat her head to annoy her

gives her piggyback rides 24/7

Her and Yunho have twerk competitions way too much

she likes to call Jongho 'care bear' because he's a legit teddy bear

usually plays video games together along with San and Yeosang

Builds legos with MATZ!

Type: [lsiblings]

Florina x kai / jongin

people love the “intimacy” when Florina and kai do partner dances.

people question if they're a couple because of how many times it looks like they kiss at the end, (no y’all she’s with her mans Bangchan ofc she ain’t a hoe and no rumors either)

but other than that people just like watching these two dance together.

type: “dance couple”

Florina x Suga

Bet you weren’t expecting this one. Yep Suga and Florina are good friends outside of work. She was a special guest on his show and the two have always supported each other when life wasn’t on their side sometimes!

since Florina helps produces a good chunk of Stray Kids music there's no doubt she’d always meet yoongi, one of bts's producers!

despite their clashing fan wars, her and yoongi really like hanging out together.

Flora usually gets inspiration from him for producing songs.

Type: producer friends

[brandwhorestarscream]

G1 Reports for Blurr & Wheelie 👀

Subject 1660 - Codename: Blurr

07-24-1992

Initial Report. Content: Discussion of Subjcet History and Suitability. Discussion of Experimental Tecnique Y16.

Attending Personel: Dr. >REDACTED<, Sabrina Diaz - Subject Physician, Dr. David Nelson - Subject Psychological Health Expert

Subject 1660 is exactly what we've been waiting for. A promising young man with an active mind and body, someone with not only talent but a genuine love for his craft. Though officially documented information on his status pre-Playcare, outside of standard medical records, is lacking, interviews conducted with previous acquaintances were all consistent.

'Extremely high-energy, playful, and competitive to a fault,' to quote a previous coach, Subject 1660 has been confirmed to be involved in soccer, track, and the Pioneer Scouts program until very recently. Big dreams, this kid: a Mrs... hmm, ahem, sorry, a Mrs. Rivers even told of dreams to be an Olympian someday! Quite a lofty goal, for someone not even in the double digits yet.

Subject's psychological health has declined considerably since the accident. Very low mood, outbursts of anger, declarations of self-loathing, virtually no appetite, and an unwillingness to even attempt to get out of bed with the use of a walker.

I have begun the introductory phase. Through carefully constructured conversation over the next several weeks, I will carefully guide Subject's thoughts as with previous moderately-successful case 1428. His body is already in a weakened state of recovery, he cannot be operated on now, but I do think I can have him ready and perhaps even eager for the procedure by the time he is ready.

...eager, Nelson? Need I remind you even 1428 still isn't happy-

Without hope, the brain is highly impressionable, especially an undeveloped one shortly after a traumatic experience. Here is one with serious dreams of becoming the peak of our species, ripped through a windshield at 120 miles an hour, and watched the light leave two other people's eyes before having half of it's limbs amputated. This brain has been tailor made for this! It's a miracle that it's undamaged, and with proper sculpting could be better than we ever dreamed: forget obedience, by the time I'm done with it, it'll be singing our praises inside it's new body! I'll have it desperate for the procedure in a matter of weeks, and-

Nelson. You're ranting again. I don't care about... whatever that was, as long as it's demonstrably successful-

It will be! Oh trust me, it will be.

...

Subject 1683 - Codename: Wheelie

03-29-1993

Incident Report Transcript

Attending Personel: Sabrina Diaz - Subject Physician, Abigail Drew - Game Screening Manager

Alright, Drew. What happened?

I- um- you see- he-! Ok. Ok, ok, ok. Everything was normal. Everything was fine. Little guy and I are attached at the hip. First group comes in, we test their strength and stamina and patterns and stuff, they go through, no one's extraordinary, we send em on their way. Next train comes in, same thing again. They head off to the Build-A-Bot section and I go to reset the whole thing for the next one... and I turn around, and poof! Little dude is gone. I call for him, I use the clicker, I get his little treats out, but he's not comin' back. I put the system on pause and check around the room. He still doesn't come out. Then-

The point Drew, for christ's sake! HOW did you LOSE HIM?! His collar, your monitor, security measures, how did everything fail?! What, did, YOU, DO?!

Woah, hey, I didn't do anything! I've got the monitor right here, and-

Give me tha- WHERE is the REAL ONE, DREW?!

Wha- but I- this is the one you gave me!

...

Um... M-Ms. Diaz...?

...

Security, please escort Employe #33749 to the disciplinary office immediately. Nightwatch, please be alert and prepare to dispatch for the location and retrieval of Subject 1683.

[the-garbanzo-annex-jr]

by Dion J. Pierre

During Wednesday’s interview with the Algemeiner, Davidai defended his approach as a genuine expression of grief and concern for the welfare of Jewish students.

“People are free to see exactly the videos and see, you know, what did or did not happen and judge for themselves,” he said. “That is why I call this a clear act or retaliation. My lawyers got on a phone call with them on Oct. 7 [of this year] and were told that the university is going to suspend my ability to be on campus. On that day, the university found that the most important thing is to remove me from campus. I am, to the best of my knowledge, the only professor who has been removed from campus since Oct. 7 [2023].”

Davidai went on to point to faculty conduct which has been covered by The Algemeiner, including Columbia professor Joseph Massad publishing in Electronic Intifada an essay cheering Hamas’s atrocities as “awesome” and describing men who paraglided into a music festival to kill young people as “the air force of the Palestinian resistance.”

Davidai continued, “The only person who was removed from campus is the one that exposed the chief operating officer’s antisemitic problem. And I say this, you know, I don’t know if he is or isn’t an antisemite. I do know that he’s awfully comfortable with antisemitism and that he has an antisemitism problem.”

According to Columbia University, the campus ban, which does not affect Davidai’s compensation or employment status, was prompted by “threats of intimidation, harassment, or other threatening behavior.”

Samantha Slater, a university spokesperson, continued: “Columbia has consistently and continually respected Assistant Professor Davidai’s right to free speech and to express his views. His freedom of speech has not been limited and is not being limited now. Columbia, however, does not tolerate threats of intimidation, harassment, or other threatening behavior by its employees. Because Assistant Professor Davidai repeatedly harassed and intimidated university employees in violation of university policy, we have temporarily limited his access to campus while he undertakes appropriate training on our policies governing the behavior of our employees.”

This latest clash between Davidai and Columbia University comes during what has been widely described as an unprecedented “crisis” at the school which, since Oct. 7, 2023, has undermined its credibility with the public and drawn the scrutiny of federal lawmakers.

In April, an anti-Zionist group occupied Hamilton Hall, forcing then-university president Minouche Shafik to call on the New York City Police Department (NYPD) for help, a decision she hesitated to make and which led to over 108 arrests. However, according to documents shared in August by the US House Committee on Education and the Workforce, 18 of the 22 students slapped with disciplinary charges for their role in the incident remain in “good standing” despite the university’s earlier pledge to expel them. Another 31 of 35 who were suspended for illegally occupying the campus with a “Gaza Solidarity Encampment” remain in good standing too.

In August, Shafik resigned as president of the university, and just two months prior, in June, its legal counsel reached an out of court settlement with a student who accused administrators of neglecting their obligation to foster a safe learning environment during the final weeks of last spring semester. While stopping short of admitting guilt, the settlement virtually conceded to the plaintiff her argument that the campus was unsafe for Jewish students, agreeing to provide her and others “Safe Passage Liaisons” tasked with protecting them from racist abuse and violence.

Amid this cluster of scandals and conflagrations, Davidai has allegedly received a lion’s share of the university’s attention. Last semester, it launched an investigation of his conduct, which he called a persecution that “reveals the depths of its hostility towards its Jewish community.” He has since retained counsel to guard his rights and prevent being bulldozed by one of the wealthiest and powerful universities in the world. Despite his troubles, however, he told The Algemeiner on Wednesday that Columbia is redeemable.