#WHY WOULD ANYONE SPEND 200 DOLLARS ON FOOD TO GET IT ... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kinsey3furry300 · 4 years ago

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So how the heck do the Avengers pay for stuff, and how rich are they?

So, in the wake of “Falcon and the Winter Soldier” There’s a lot of debate about why Sam didn’t seem to get paid well for his work in the Avengers (at least in the MCU continuity), and this has got me thinking: we’ve got no evidence that the Avengers are, financially, anything but a hot mess. So lets break it down, Avenger by Avenger, using real-world pay scales for the ones who have jobs.

Tony: a billionaire, so clearly he’s a financial genius, right? Well….. his actions say otherwise. He’s shown to be wildly irresponsible with his money. He inherited a lot of wealth form his parents which was managed by the first Jarvis, Obadiah, and Pepper for him, he buys and then gives away not just woks of art, but entire collections by major 20th century artists on a whim, destroyed his own cars and home without concern, he tanks the value of his own company in the first Iron Man with a bad press interview, gets kicked of his own bord of directors, and ultimately, in Iron Man 2, gives control of his company to Pepper. He’s insanely rich, and insanely smart, but man, he’s not smart with his money. So all the cool stuff, his suits, the Avengers tower, the facility up-state: that’s all paid for by him, but Pepper is holding the purse-stings. So, does he pay the others? We have no evidence for most of them… but we do with Spidey. Peter Parker is in the Stark Internship Program a euphemism to hide the fact he’s training and mentoring him as a super-hero, but I find the wording interesting: he refers to Spidey, his surrogate son and chosen heir, as an intern. I.E., Unpaid. I’m guessing this is Howard’s influence over him, some sort of ‘make you own way in the world, son’ attitude, but if he’s not paying Spidey, is he paying anyone else? He certainly pays for stuff super heroes suits and things, equipment, fuel, the base, but does he pay anyone a wage? No one ever mentions it. You think it would come up.

So, if he’s not paying them a wage, where do Avengers (and thier allies) get their day-to-day money from, and are they rich? Using google and https://www.federalpay.org, lets find out.

Cap: Well, before Civil war, he’s a shield operative, and he presumably still holds his military rank: he’s a US Army captain, with (well) over 40 years service, so USD$88,142.40 per year, with $237.71 drill pay (pay per drill you have to do on weekends, on leave or outside of normal service) and $175.00 per month hazard pay (which I bet is interesting) on top of that. As a WW2 veteran, he’d be eligible for a war pension if he:

Was not discharged for dishonorable reasons; and,

Served 90 days of active military duty; and,

Served at least one day during wartime ("wartime" as determined by the VA); and,

Had countable family income below a certain yearly limit; and,

Is age 65 years or older; or

Regardless of age is permanently disabled, not due to wilful misconduct.

As he’s still receiving 90k per year, he’s ineligible for a pension as his countable yearly income is above the limit. So if shield pays him in accordance with his rank and years of service, about $90, 600 per year incuding hazard pay.

After civil war, he’s a fugitive on the run, so presumably flat broke. I’d asume he gets his pension returened to him after the snap.

He’s also just gone from the 40’s to the present day, so 70 years of inflation probably makes buying things very confusing for him: everything would seem insanely expensive at first. He’d also not know what the correct prices are for anything invented after 45. You might get used to how much more expensive food and coffee is, but how much is a smart-phone worth? $200? $2000 $20000? Who knows? I bet the others have to facepalm a lot when he either refuses to pay for what he sees as clear price-gouging, and at the same time regularly pays insane amounts of money for goods and services because he doesn’t know better. He also has no known assets other than his pay: he rents an apartment making him one of the few American males in his age-group who isn’t a home-owner

Thor: Does Asgard even have currency? It’s depicted like a “Crystal spires and toga” type utopia with no poverty: even working class Asgardian’s like Scourge seem to be pretty well-off and want for nothing, so he’s from a post-scarcity society where actual magic is a thing. His “Another” coffee cup smashing and the fact he doesn’t have a computer of phone in Ragnarök might indicate that, no, he just doesn’t have, need or understand money. Splitting a bar tab with him must be a nightmare. His breakdown post snap indicates he’s got some cash, but not a huge amount, and is probably skiving of Valkyrie and the other Asgardians.

Banner: Okay, so a PhD could make you a lot of money from patents… in pharmacology or engineering. Theoretical physics? Not so good. And if Banner did have any patents, they’ve probably been seized under eminent domain by the US military. At the start of The Hulk film, he’s working a entry-level factory job at a botteling plant in Brazil. The minimum wage in Brazil is 1069.62 Real per month, that’s 12,835.44 Real per year, or around $2437.79 US per year, before everything goes wrong for him! He then runs off to India, works for Tony for a bit and then gets shot into space. Spidey may actually make more in allowance than Banner does, and Banner is a gown ass man with bills to pay: I’d imagine he loses a lot in ripped clothing.

Natasha and Barton: Pre Civil-war, both are government spooks, so how well does that pay? The salaries of CIA Intelligence Analysts based in the US range from $25,838 to $685,701 , with a median salary of $125,340, so let’s assume that Shield pays in a similar range: $685,701 per year for Director Fury, around 125,000 for Natasha and Cliff, which explains Cliff’s nice, middle-class mid-western home. Post civil war, presumably not great: we know that Natasha spends a lot of her savings running and hiding all across the world, and Cliff takes a deal and presumably lives of his savings, pension and his wife’s income.

Rhodes: Full USAF colonel with over 10 years service? $105,562.80 per year, plus $293.23 drill pay per drill and $175 per month hazard pay, and because he’s team Stark and not Team Cap in Civil War, he’d not lose any of that. He presumably also gets an injury pay-out after his accident. After T’challa and Stark, he might be the best paid avenger.

Dr Strange: spends all his money he made as a surgeon on trying to cure his hands: spends literally his last dollars heading to Nepal to train. Wong even jokes with him about their lack of worldly money when asking for a tuna-melt. But, can use illusion to make people think he has money, and his home and clothes etc. come with the job, so in the same boat as Thor in that he has no money, but needs none AKA, he’s a bastard to try and split a restaurant bill with.

Wanda and Vision: No know source of income, just sort of live in Tony’s hose and eat his food, and on top of that Wanda goes on the run after civil war… yet they can stay in fancy hotels in Edinburgh, a relatively expensive city, and Vison apparently bought them a house to retire in, so one of them has some source of money. Maybe Tony gave Vision years of back-pay form when he was still Jarvis, or maybe the vison has a day job, which is, frankly, hilarious. Could you imagine him as a barista? I can, and it makes me very happy.

Scott Lang: I’d assumed he’d be super, super broke, but apparently the average pay for a private security consultant in the Bay area is $85,430 per year. Not bad. Pity he gets sucked into the quantum realm just as his business is taking off, so presumably, flat broke again.

Bucky: no known income, and I doubt Hydra paid him for being the Winter Soldier so he probably has no savings, but he should, technically, qualify for a military pension. As a single veteran, he’d be eligible for federal tax-free pension of up to $1732 per month, or $20,784 tax free per year. Not much for someone who lives in NYC. He may also be eligible for medical benefits over the loss of his arm. Whether or not he got to see any of that money given how confused his life has been over the past 10 years is unclear, but on paper he’s eligible.

T’challa: He is, quite possibly, richer than Stark, and as an absolute monarch pays no tax and has access to his Nation’s vast wealth in vibanium. It’s good to be the king!

Captain Marvel: USAF captain, and a test pilot; the test pilot school only accepts applicants with a service length of less than 9 years 6 months (10 years six moths of helicopters) as they don’t want older applicants. With 8 years service, $79,538.40, plus drill pay and hazard. However, no know (human) pay since 1990. Flat broke.

Guardians of the Galaxy: no data, but I’m assuming “Cowboy Bebop” levels of perpetual never-ending poverty given the way they choose to live. I’d also assume Rocket has taken all their cash into some sort of Ponzi scheme of his own creation, because just look at him, of course he has.

Spidey: he’s got about $10 of his aunts�� money at any given time, so he can buy lunch… which may in fact be more than Banner or Lang, and we know it’s more that Strange or Thor.

So, here the big one: how rich or how broke is Sam?

Sam Wilson: annoyingly, we’re not directly told what rank Sam held in any MCU film. USAF pararescue “Maroon berets” are generally NCO’s (but there’ are officer-ranked pararescue) , and he’s seen working on his wings at one point, where as officers don’t generally work on or maintain airframes. He’s shown wearing a Nation Air guard grey while jogging at one point to confuse the matter further. The general consensus on redit is he’s a former USAF tech sergeant (E-6). But how long was he in the air force? With six years service (the minimum sensible time he could have served to work in pararescue based on his age), that would be $41,464.80 per year, plus drill pay and hazard. As Anthony Mackie, the actor that plays him, was 36 as of Civil War, and assuming the character is the same age, and assuming he retired from the air force that year, and he joined the USAF at 17, the youngest you can join, he’d have served 19 years, giving him a pay of $51,566.40, the maximum pay you can get at this rank before promotion to Master Sergent, but meaning he left just before he’d qualify for the 50% final salary pension you’d qualify for after 20 years. Which seems weird. So let’s assume the character is one year older than the actor that plays him and served 20 years (ages 17-37), that means Sam has a military pension of $25,783.20 per year (20,784 of it tax-free), plus any injury benefits. He councils other veterans, but doesn’t get paid for that. He also chooses Team Cap in Civil War, so would become a wanted criminal, and so lose his income between 2016 and 2018, and then gets snapped and has no income for 5 years, which would destroy his credit rating. Like the rest of Team Cap, he presumably gets his post snap pardon, and goes to work for the US government at his former pay and rank. However, given how Captain John Walker treats him as an equal, it’s possible he’s been promoted to a captain when the hired back, giving him a pay of between $54,176.40 to $88,142.40 (with 20 years experience, depending on if they take into account his prior service or not, and how much prior service he has), but either way, he’s just starting this as a new job after being legally dead for 5 years: no savings, and no credit.

Commercial fishing vessels cost about 10% of their total value per year in maintenance alone. I can’t identify what sort of boat the Wilson’s have, but some quick googling indicates that the cheapest 15m long wooden in-shore shrimp trawler costs around $140,000, so that’s $14,000 per year in maintenance costs alone, minimum. And that’s a lower estimate, assuming the rest of the business is sound, which we know it isn’t.

So, in concussion, yes, Sam is in some serious financial trouble until he can re-build his savings and credit, but the scary bit is he’s not alone in that: he’s probably better off than Lang, Banner, Danvers, Strange, Thor, Bucky, Wanda and Parker. Only Clint (if he gets a full pardon and gets his full pension), Rhodes, Stark and T’challa aren’t in some sort of potential financial problems. That asshole bank teller was right: despite the fact it seems to pay well on paper, with a few exceptions, the Avengers financials are probibaly a mess. EDIT: Rocket is running the Ponzi scheme, if that’s not clear from context. The others know they have money somewhere, but not where it’s gone. And It’s been pointed out to me that as he’s technically a POW while he’s the Winter Soldier, Bucky is owed over 70 years back-pay, equal to over 3 million dollars, details in the notes.

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2seokfan · 5 years ago

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Scarlet & Hazel | Ch. 3

pairings: hoseok x reader x yoongi

genre: fluff, very light angst, smut (future)

word count: 6k

chapters: ch.1, ch.2, ch.3. ch.4

summary:

Just cause you’re living paycheck to paycheck in a tiny apartment even after graduating college doesn’t mean you’re not happy. So what if your best friend is working her dream job making close to six figures every year? So what if she’s in a loving, committed relationship with her perfect boyfriend that you’re 99% sure is going to propose to her sometime next year? It doesn’t matter that your idea of a perfect relationship is a $9.99 bottle of wine on Friday nights while you binge watch Netflix specials.

Ok so maybe you’re a teensy bit miserable. Maybe you have no idea what you’re doing with your life. Maybe all you need to do is accidentally cross paths with two hybrids who will drastically change that.

Meet “Scarlet” and “Hazel”, two of the most gorgeous hybrid men you have ever laid eyes on. With their help, you learn that life is an adventure, a roller-coaster with ups and downs, and you were too preoccupied with yourself to climb out of your own predicament. And hey, you’re not much of a romantic, but with these two, you just might change your mind.

a/n: Hello, Jun here! Whew this took a while to write but thank you for your patience!! (poor Y/N still doesn’t know their real names but maybe she’ll find out soon?) Any feedback is appreciated <3

tag list: @wilhelminalucinda @ghostkat23 @ayoo-bangtan @sadgurllayha

2 months later.

August is relentless. You’re sweaty all the time and you have no choice but the crank up the a/c every single day. This heat wave is incredibly brutal because all you want to do is stay at home eating ice cream in your underwear but instead you’re stuck working overtime to pay for what you assume will be a record-high electricity bill. Fuck you global warming.

It’s currently Tuesday. You’re on lunch break at work, chowing down on a falafel wrap and scrolling through your phone, when a text pops up from Karli.

Karli: Don’t forget!

You: ???

Karli: This friday?

You scratch your head. Wtf?

You: What’s on friday?

Karli: Umm the date? Remember?

No you didn’t. Your dumbass actually forgot about a whole date. You can’t believe yourself. Karli finally set you up with that accountant guy from her job. What’s his name again? Brad? Brandon?

You: oh yeah! my bad haha

Karli: You forgot his name didn’t you?

You: …maybe

Karli: Lol it’s Bryce sweetie

Karli: He’s really sweet! Just give it a shot

You: of course i will

You: i’ll turn up my maximum charm

Karli: Dats my girlllll

Karli: Ugh gtg it��s my boss

Karli: Bye!

You: bye babe

You set your phone down, trying to envision this upcoming Friday. Karli mentioned she gave Bryce your phone number, and he’ll text you sometime this week about your date, so at least you don’t have to make any moves first. She did show you his picture though, being the wingman that she is by stalking all his social media just for you. You’ve gotta admit he is cute, the profile picture showed him sporting a casual smile, with blonde hair and blue eyes. The classic boy-next-door look.

“And he’s most likely not a serial killer!” You remember her declaring a few weeks ago, after scrolling through all his tweets. And when you say all his tweets you mean EVERY Single tweet from when he created his account in high school till now. Your best friend does not fuck around.

“Thanks I appreciate that. Glad he’ll ‘most likely’ not kill me.” You rolled your eyes and grinned at her.

While you munch away the rest of your lunch, you think about how you just aren’t acting like yourself lately. In any other circumstance, you would’ve found yourself more excited for the date. Hell, in any other circumstance you would’ve at LEAst remembered his name, or thought about what to wear by now, or even stalked his social media along with Karli. There’s just a teensy problem though. See, in the past few months you happen to have met two boys who completely changed your standards in men. And you may have maybe developed the tiniest crush on both of them, at the same time. Like how?? You didn’t think you were physically capable of doing that?

You sigh, staring at the rest of your falafel wrap, and force yourself to accept reality. As much as you adore them, you know that your little crush will be completely unreciprocated. This you found out through your group chat, now named ‘Hazel’s Nuts’ (courtesy of Scarlet). It’s not that you confessed to them or anything, they just happened to let slip to you one day that they’re a mated pair. And hybrids mate for life, so they take that shit very seriously. Although this news stung a little, it didn’t cause you to be envious in any way. At the end of the day, crush or not, you’re just glad you have two more people in your life you can confidently call your close friends.

For the past two months you’ve actively kept up with them. Sometimes you’ll send memes back and forth all night, sometimes you’ll group call each other after work. Every once in a while, when they’re not busy doing whatever it is they’re doing, they facetime you. These are your favorite moments because you get to see them in all their attractive glory. Just because they don’t like you that way doesn’t mean a girl can’t deny herself some eye candy.

You guys never run out of things to talk about. Each day you check the group chat and it’ll be popping. Your topics range from the movie that just came out, restaurants they discovered, to even discussing new criminal cases (you got Hazel into watching true crime Youtube videos and now he’s entirely hooked). Sometimes you just sit back and watch the two boys bicker back and forth. It’s hysterical how they decide to argue through text since you’re sure both of them are probably in the same room together, but you appreciate them keeping you in the loop.

At this point they’ve already virtually met Karli. She’s been in the background of one or two of your facetimes. You’re glad she approves of them instantly and you wonder if it has a little something to do with their, especially Scarlet’s, boyish charms. She does keep you grounded though, never failing to mention how it’s suspicious that you don’t know their real names yet.

“I don’t think they mean any harm and they seem genuinely nice,” she had reassured, “But you gotta admit not telling you their names is a little sketch.”

You just shrugged. “They have their reasons.”

Internally you do believe she has a point. Even though you don’t want to force information out of the boys, you’re a naturally curious person. Your mind has already compiled a list of all the unusual facts you’ve discovered about them.

A couple of things have become clear to you over the span of the last few months. The most important fact is that although they share tons of content with you, you still have no idea what they do for a living. You’re also 90% sure they don’t have an owner since there’s never anyone else around them. Another, more interesting fact is that you suspect they’re actually pretty wealthy. Every time you facetime, they’re in some sort of lavish looking hotel penthouse, with fancy furniture and artwork hanging in the background. They also dress designer, occasionally flashing their Balenciaga hats, or little Gucci necklaces, or other fancy logos your peasant-ass is unfamiliar with. You actually googled one of Hazel’s t-shirts from your most recent facetime, having no idea what the FG logo stood for. You remember your eyes bulging out of your head after discovering his plain white shirt with two black letters cost more than $200. TWO HUNDred dollars?!!! Do you know how much food and gas you could buy with $200? Why in the fuck would he spend that much on a shirt??

If only you knew how much their watches cost.

Friday rolls around faster than you can blink and before you know it, you’re rushing home from work to get ready. Bryce texted you for the first time on Wednesday to see if you wanted sushi (hell yeah you did) and you were fortunate enough to notify your boss so you could be let out early. You’ve been such a work horse the last few months that they had no choice but to let you leave in advance.

So far Bryce seems nice enough but you can’t get a proper gauge of his character through text. Oh well, guess you’ll find out tonight.

The sushi place you’re meeting at is on the fancier side, and includes a bar. Knowing yourself, if there’s a bar, there’s no car, which means you won’t be driving. The last thing you want is to leave your car parked somewhere sketchy overnight cause you accidentally got too tipsy to drive. You like to think you have some semblance of control but it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

You were let out at 4, which means you have only 2 hours to get ready. As soon as you get home you sprint to your closet at lightning speed. You rummage through your drawers, hoping to find something, ANYthing, that’s appropriate for this occasion. For one quick second, your eyes dart to your forbidden drawer, aka the ho drawer. It contains the remains of your slutty party dresses and tops from college. Being the hoarder that you are, you never like throwing away things, even if you have no need for them anymore. Wait, what the hell am I thinking? You snap your eyes back to the rest of your closet. You’re going for sushi, not to dance at some club. Besides, you have no intention of sleeping with anyone tonight.

After an hour of deciding on a suitable outfit you finally start on your makeup. Your work makeup has dried up, and now feels gross and cakey on your face, so you remove it all and start anew. At least you had the decency to shower this morning so your hair isn’t too gross.

The place is around a 10 minute Uber ride away but you took your sweet ass time getting ready so now you’re in a frenzy. When your phone buzzes, signaling your driver is here, you swipe on some lipstick last minute, grab some chunky heels, and practically fly out the door.

You stare out the window of your ride, wondering why you’re lowkey wishing you could spend Friday night at home watching tv instead, or even just spending the evening facetiming two hot hybrids. This all feels a little too rushed. But no, you shake your head and attempt to hype yourself up. C’mon Y/N this is the first real date you’ve been on in ages. At least TRy and be a little more motivated.

The car pulls up and you thank the driver, stepping out into the warm night air. August is still hot, even in the evenings, and you’re glad you didn’t bring a cardigan. Bryce has already texted you, letting you know he was inside, sitting at your reserved spot. You take a deep breath. Ok, time to put on your game face. You strut in, trying your very best to push the faces of two very good-looking friends out of your mind.

You spot Bryce in a corner, head buried in his phone, his wavy blonde hair not easy to miss. You slide in the seat across from him, prompting him to quickly look up and flash you an easygoing smile.

“Hello there!”

“Hi!” You chuckle nervously. “I hope I’m not too late.”

“Not all all!” He slides his phone back in his pocket, smile still on his face. “You’re just in time.”

A waiter comes by and you both take your orders. You make sure to order a drink because you have a feeling you’ll need the liquid courage to strike up more conversation. Maybe some sake will help ease you.

The first couple minutes are kinda awkward, not gonna lie. Bryce tries to get you to talk about work and you do answer him, but honestly work is the last thing you want to discuss right now. You try to shift the conversation to his job, but that only ends up being worse as he quickly launches into the ins and outs of life as an accountant. Maybe your two hybrids friends have spoiled you because you barely remember the last time you had to fill empty space with small talk.

When the food comes you quietly sigh a breath of relief, hoping the sushi in front of you will help you both get settled and give you time to think of more interesting topics to talk about.

“So,” you wrack your brain, “let’s get to know each other more! Like, what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” That’s got to be a safe enough question.

“Hm, I’m actually more of a yogurt kinda guy, ice cream’s not really my thing.”

You freeze, California roll halfway to your mouth. Ok, ok, cool, cool. So he doesn’t like ice cream, that’s fine. You sweat a little. Hurry Y/N think of something else to ask.

“Yeah, I guess that’s not everybody’s thing.” You grimace. “Then what about, i don’t know, cookies? What’s your favorite kinda cookie?”

“Actually I prefer crackers, you know, like the saltine ones? Cookies can be too sweet sometimes.” He’s devouring his dragon roll, not noticing the panic in your eyes. He’s caught you off guard twice today.

This isn’t going well and you’re genuinely surprised because you know Karli has done her research, certain that you two would get along. Guess life really likes to throw you some curveballs.

Who the fuck prefers crackers over cookies anyway?? Ok. Code red! Change the fucking subject before the silence becomes unbearable. Your dessert-related ice breakers had never failed you before but there’s always a first for everything, you guess.

You take a generous swig of sake. “Right, crackers are... good.” You’re mumbling at this point. “Ok, um, what about hobbies? Got any?” Please throw me a fucking bone here! Your mind is reeling but externally you try to act calm and composed, dabbing at the corner or you mouth delicately with a napkin.

“Oh yeah!” His face lights up. Oh thank god. “Do you like football? Me and my buddies at the office sorta formed this team, and we play against other departments. It’s really fun! You should come by and watch sometime!”

“Uh, sure!” Football. Huh. The last time you were anywhere near a football was when you met someone from your college team at a bar. Well he wasn’t holding a football per se, but that counts right? You only remember how much of a douche he was, trying to hit on one of the girls from your group after getting entirely too wasted.

“Awesome! I’ll hit you up when the next game is set!” It’s almost impressive how he doesn’t notice all the tension emitting from your body. In fact, you have a feeling he’s actually enjoying himself and your company.

The rest of the dinner goes by in the same manner. With him happily answering all your questions and you slowly discovering just how little you both have in common.

He is a gentleman though, that you can’t deny. When all the food has been cleared away he immediately swoops in to pay the bill, ignoring your insistence at paying for your half at least. He really isn’t a bad person, just the opposite. Besides your difference in interests, he is a sweet guy overall, and you do find him to be physically attractive. There’s just no spark, no silver lining that keeps you wanting more. When you both get out of your seats he offers to drive you back to your place but you politely decline. You say it’s because you don’t want to trouble him but in reality you need space for yourself to think.

As soon as you arrive home you take off your shoes and plop yourself down on the couch, running your hands through your hair. You check your phone, a few notifications from ‘Hazel’s Nuts’ popping up.

Scarlet: Do you think she’s done with her date yet??

Hazel: Hey Y/N how was it?

You had told them about this date beforehand and they were excited to root for you, which did bruise your ego a bit since it reaffirmed your unreturned attraction to them, but also prompted you to go through with it. This last notification was from 45 minutes ago but you couldn’t reply since you were still at dinner.

You: hi I just got back!

You don’t expect them to respond right away but to your surprise:

Scarlet: And???

You: it was meh

Hazel: That bad huh?

You: no nothing like that!

You: he’s really cute and all, it’s just we basically have nothing in common

Scarlet: Aww poor Y/N (sad emojis)

Hazel: Hey happens to the best of us

Hazel: Actually I wouldn’t know cause I’ve only been with fox boy

You: thanks anyway, i appreciate it Hazel

Maybe it’s cause you’re a little tipsy, or maybe you just feel so open and vulnerable around them tonight, but the next text you send is especially honest.

You: ughhh idk guys i’m just so lonely!!! why can’t things just work out for me for once! Like the first real date I go on in years and this happens :(

They don’t respond for a long time. So long in fact you start to get worried that you exposed too much about yourself.

15 minutes pass by but to you it feels like hours. You’ve already removed all your makeup and changed into your pajama shirt. You relocate to your bed, checking your phone again, thinking of a way to play off your last text as a joke when:

Hazel: If you’re so lonely maybe you could adopt?

You grin to yourself, glad that they’re not being judgmental. Their concern for you resets your mood.

You: ha ha you know my apartment doesn’t allow pets

You: but honestly if i could i would, cause i’d definitely get a little kitty

Hazel: I’m flattered

You: thanks but i meant a real cat

Hazel: Either way i’m flattered

Scarlet: HEY what about foxes??

You: pretty sure owning a pet fox is illegal here Scar

Scarlet: (angry emojis)

Hazel: You heard what the lady said

You: anyways i’m going to bed

You: thanks for making me feel better guys <3

Hazel: Anytime

Scarlet: But hypothetically if foxes weren’t illegal you’d get a pet fox right??

You: of course i would sweetie

Scarlet: (happy emojis)

Scarlet: Yay!!! Goodnight Y/N!

Hazel: Night Y/N

You: night boys

You wake up next morning on your own time, checking your phone to see that you slept in till 11am. Wow, you haven’t slept that well in a while. Maybe it’s the stress from the previous weeks of non stop working, or the pressure to maintain your composure last night, but either way you knocked out like a rock. You sit up, lean back, and stretch your arms as far as they can go.

Today you’re meeting Karli at her place up north. She couldn’t ask you about last night since she was occupied, her seven year anniversary with her boyfriend Sunny coinciding with your date. But she assured you a couple days ago over facetime that today was going to be a girl’s day, no boyfriend included.

“Hey!” Sunny had popped out of nowhere in the video when he heard the news, a look of mock shock on his face. “I live here too! So what, you're just gonna kick me out of the house and leave me on the streets to starve?”

“My god stop being dramatic!” Karli had shoved him playfully off the screen. “I need girl time with Y/N and it’s not girl time if you’re in the house.”

“I can be one of the girls! Right Y/N?” He sounded betrayed.

“I know you can but I’m not the one who makes the rules.” You pointed out.

He sighed. “You got me there.”

Since you’re just spending time at Karli’s and getting takeout, you felt zero need to dress up. You washed your face, threw on an oversized t-shirt some old hookup left at your place (hey it was cute) and some tights, and tied your hair out of your face. This entire process took less than 30 minutes and next thing you know you’re ready to head out.

You sent Karli a quick text, letting her know you’re on the way. You grab a bottle of prosecco, your purse, and keys, saying a quick goodbye to your roommate Ayah on your way out. She gives you a small wave, reminding you that she, yet again, has to leave today for a whole week. You backtrack to give her a quick goodbye hug, telling her to drive safe, before you take off.

Karli’s place isn’t as far as the beach coffeehouse you frequent, but it’s still located in the wealthier side of town. The drive lasts a good 20 minutes but it feels a lot faster since you spend the whole time singing along to your favorite songs.

You pull up to Karli’s apartment complex, driving yourself to the guest parking space. Her apartment building is pretty tall, with a distant, but gorgeous view of the beach.

Karli squeals when she opens the door, immediately giving you a big hug. When you break apart you hold up the bottle of prosecco in your hand, waving it in front of her face.

“I know you have the ingredients here so let’s make some spritz!”

“Yay!”

Aperol spritz is your favorite at-home drink to make with Karli. She had gone on a short trip to Italy in the summer between her two years at grad school and tried the drink there, completely falling in love. She googled the recipe, made it for you one day, you had said “Oh FUck that’s good!”, and the rest is history.

She grabs the bottle and quickly relocates it to her kitchen. Her energy levels are sky high today and you wonder what’s got her so elated. She’s skipping everywhere she goes, there’s a permanent smile etched on her face, and she’s humming non stop as she pulls you away from the front entrance.

Sunny emerges from the hallway, two hands in the air in surrender.

“I’m heading out, I swear!”

Sunny is a big teddy bear of a man, with tattoos splayed across his arms and a well-kept beard. There’s a term you learned online called ‘lumbersexual’ and that’s exactly the word to describe Sunny. He almost reminds you of Jason Momoa, the actor who played Aquaman. Those who just meet him think he looks intimidating at first but once you get past his height and size, you see just how much of a softie he is. He’s also extremely intelligent, working somewhere in the computer industry developing software.

Karli bounds over to him and gives him a big snuggly hug and tiptoes all the way up to give a quick kiss to his lips.

“Have fun babe! Love you!”

“Love you too! Also bye Y/N!”

“Bye Sunny have fun!” You smile as he treads out the door.

You both head to the kitchen and start making your drinks.

“Aren’t you extra chipper today!” You mention as you pour a splash of club soda into your glass.

“Am I?” She doesn’t look at you, wearing a mysterious grin, stirring her mixture with a straw.

After you both finish making your drinks, you head to her living room and settle onto her plush sofa.

Karli yawns, almost too dramatically, covering her left hand over her mouth. You quirk your eyebrow at her, wondering why she’s acting so weird until you spot it. There’s something large, something shiny, on her left ring finger.

“Oh my god….” Your entire mouth hangs open. “Oh my GOD!!! Is THAT…?”

“Yep!”

“Did HE -?”

“Yep!!”

“AND YOU - ?

“YEP I DID!!”

“YOU’RE ENGAGED?!?!?!”

“I KNOW!!!!”

What happens after is a shriek rivaling that of a pterodactyl taking flight after spotting prey, except the sound is just the two of you screaming and jumping up and down in Karli’s living room.

You bring her into a tight hug, so emotional that you’re about to tear up. And you’re not one to cry that easily.

“I’m so happy for you!” You pull apart and wipe a stray tear from your cheek.

“Thank you! I’m so happy too!” Her smile is also a little watery. “Like I knew he was gonna do it soon since we’ve been together so long but I’m still shocked you know?”

“I know!”

“And I’m sorry. Today was supposed to be me asking about your date last night.” She dabs at her eyes. “Bryce really likes you too. He even texted me thanking me for introducing you!!”

“Oh shit...” You take this chance to drink your Aperol spritz. “I’m gonna be completely honest with you. It’s true he’s cute but there was no spark.” You give her an apologetic grin, knowing she really wanted this to work out for you. “Like don’t get me wrong he’s super nice and stuff but I just couldn’t find anything we have in common. I can’t believe he’s still into me?!”

“Aw I’m sorry babe.” She pouts. “I really did think you would be a good match.”

“It’s ok. Anyways,” you wave her off, bringing up the more important subject at hand. “I’d much rather talk about your engagement! Like, hello?? You’re getting married, girl!!

Another squeal. You really hope her neighbors don’t complain.

“I know!! I literally don’t know what to think!” She smiles wistfully, like she’s on cloud nine, then brings her attention back to you. “Also you’re the maid of honor and you can’t back out of that.”

“I would never!” You gasp dramatically, one hand clutching your chest.

“But don’t worry!” She sets her drink down. “The wedding’s not happening till next year at least. We don’t have to start planning till way later.”

The rest of the day you spend chatting to Karli, prompting her to spill every single detail about the proposal. Even though you have no need to help her plan a wedding just yet, you can’t hold back from offering some ideas that spring to mind.

“I got it!!” You shout.

“You got what?”

“Hear me out,” you may or may not be a little tipsy at this point. “Goth wedding!” You say with jazz hands. Then you reach down to take another sip of your drink.

“Hmm…” She pretends to think about the idea, then giggles. “And that’s enough prosecco for you.” Plucking the glass out of your hand, she transfers it to her kitchen sink.

A couple more hours roll by. You both decide to watch a cheesy Netflix horror movie to sober up, paired with the Mexican takeout you ordered. By the time the credits roll, the sun has long since set, along with your alcohol buzz. You check the time on your phone, deciding it’s best to head home since poor Sunny has been respectfully out and about all day, giving you your girl time.

You give Karli one last big hug, murmuring into her hair how happy you are for her situation. She walks you to the apartment elevator, where you proceed to blow her a swift kiss right before the doors close in your face.

Reality sets in the moment you’re alone. Your head swims with thoughts as you drive back. Most of them are happy about your best friend’s engagement but you can’t discount the little ugly bubble of jealousy that wells down deep in your gut, reminding you of your own current situation. It’s not until you reach home that you realize you didn’t even play music in the car.

Ayah has long since gone on her business trip by the time you arrive at your apartment. The whole place looks dark and unwelcome, only highlighting the emptiness you feel inside. You trudge to your room and slump onto your bed. You try to scroll through social media as a way to distract yourself but you’re met, instead, by all the pictures and posts of happy people, showing off their achievements or bragging about their seemingly perfect lives.

You immediately lock your phone and throw it onto the blanket, the stress and anxiety from the last few months building to a boiling point in your mind. Your biggest concern is you still haven’t figured out your lease situation, and you only have two more months to move out or find someone new. Ayah has tried her best to help you but she’s bombarded by business trips so no luck so far. You let out a small groan and bury your head in the pillow, deciding to sleep it off and worry about your problems tomorrow, even though it’s not even that late.

Right as you’re about to drift off into dreamland, your phone rings. You fumble around the covers until it’s in your hands and check that you have a facetime call from your two favorite boys.

Immediately your body jerks awake and you sit up, swiping the answer button.

“Hey guys!”

“Hi Y/N!!” Scarlet’s heart-shaped smile is taking up most of the screen but you can see a sliver of white and grey hair behind him.

Hazel elbows him out of the way. “Sorry were you sleeping?” He tilts his head, ears twitching. “Wait, it’s only 10 pm where you’re at. You never sleep this early.”

“No I wasn’t... I mean, yeah I was trying to sleep but…”

You sigh. It’s their faces. Just seeing them through a screen, their wide, innocent eyes blinking up at you, makes you want to spill everything.

You nibble on your bottom lip for a moment. “I was just kinda having an existential crisis so I decided to sleep it off. No biggie.”

Scarlet’s eyebrows furrow in concern. After only two months, he can already tell when something is off with your tone of voice.

“Y/N what’s wrong?” He looks up for a bit, pausing to think. “Was it the date last night?”

“The date?” Oh yeah the date. Yet another thing that didn’t go well. You totally forgot about that can of worms. “Not really… or actually kinda?”

You try to reorganize your jumbled mess of a brain and put your thoughts into words.

“So you know how I said I was going to Karli’s today?”

“Mhm,” they nod at you to continue.

“Well turns out she got engaged last night.”

“That’s awesome! I’m so happy for her!” Scarlet bounces a little, then quickly returns to a more serious tone. “But that doesn’t really answer my question.”

“Yeah I’m happy for her too.” And you genuinely are.

You pause for another moment, teetering on the edge of playing your emotions off like it’s no big deal or exposing all of your concerns yet again. Your need for an outlet to vent to wins in the end. For the first time you find yourself unable to confide in Karli because you want her to be happy and focus on the engagement rather than to be preoccupied with you. Before you know it, the words flow from your mouth like running water.

“It’s just that her announcement really brought me back to earth, and I started thinking a little too much about my own life.” You purse your lips. “I don’t know… I feel pretty selfish right now because she’s doing so well and I just can’t help comparing my life to hers. I’m so proud of her but it’s like everything in her life is coming together and I just want that for me also.” You throw your hands up in frustration, almost knocking the phone off from where it leans on your pillow. “I mean we’re the same age for god's sake! Why can’t I get my shit together??”

“Well you should be proud of yourself though,” Hazel cuts in. “Cause we are.” He gestures to Scarlet and himself.

“Yeah!” Scarlet chimes. “I mean you’ve got a full time job and a place to stay. I know you don’t feel like it’s the most ideal situation right now but please don’t discredit yourself.”

“Thanks guys.” You calm down a bit, but then you remember the whole issue with your apartment. Scratching the back of your neck, a habit you’ve picked up whenever you’re nervous, you say in a much smaller voice, “although my ‘place to stay’ might not last much longer.”

“What do you mean?” Both boys’ eyebrows are raised in confusion.

You realize you never mentioned your living situation to them, the topic always pushed to the back of your mind whenever they initiated conversation.

“Yeah.” A dry chuckle leaves your lips. “My lease ends soon and Ayah wants to move to a place of her own. And I have two months to figure out where to live or find another roommate.” You let out a frustrated huff. “She’s been so helpful but still no luck I guess.” You shrug in defeat.

You feel like a balloon that’s lost all its air, brain exhausted from running through all the problems in your life.

“Actually that’s pretty convenient for- ” Scarlet starts, but is elbowed again in the ribs by Hazel. “Ow!”

“Not yet!” The cat hisses quietly to him.

“Huh?” Now you’re confused. What in the world are they talking about?

Hazel turns back to you. “I’m really sorry about everything Y/N. If there’s anything we can do to help please let us know.”

“Thanks buddy.” You offer him a small smile, choosing to ignore what just happened since they clearly don’t want to reveal anything just yet.

Hazel then shifts to a more nervous stance, ears slightly flattening and both hands grabbing his floofy grey tail for comfort. It’s the cutest goddamn thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

“So Y/N, um, there’s a reason we called you tonight.”

You’re glad for a change in subject, a much needed distraction away from your downward spiraling thoughts.

“Oh right! Yeah. What’s up guys?”

Scarlet steps in front of him again, blocking most of the screen.

“We have a surprise for you!” He’s so close to the camera that you can only see half of his unblemished face but from the way his eyes crinkle, you can tell he’s giddy with anticipation.

“A surprise- ?”

“Yeah!!”

Hazel nudges himself into view again. “Quit hogging the whole screen fox! I swear to god next time we’re using the tv. I can’t see anything! Anyways,” he turns to you and smooths his shirt, expression back to stoic, “are you free next weekend?”

“I should be. Why?” You’re still a little lost on what the surprise is.

“Cause we’re coming back to town!” Scarlet blurts out.

“You are?!” Suddenly all your negativity melts away, replaced by excitement. Hard to believe just five simple words can shift your mood a complete 180°.

“But wait, there’s more!” You snort at how much Scarlet sounded like an infomercial just now.

“We’d like to invite you to dinner next Saturday night. If that’s ok with you?” Hazel isn’t as physically expressive as Scarlet but the hopeful shine in his eyes gives himself away.

You melt at his expression, heart rate speeding up. “Of course that’s ok! I’d love to!”

“Great!” He flashes one of his rare gummy smiles. “Saturday night. 7 pm. We’ll text you the details.”

“Yep!” Scarlet pipes in. “There’s something important we gotta ask- !” He lets out a small gasp, tail bristling, and clamps a hand over his mouth as if he just said something he shouldn’t have.

“What’s important?” You’ve gotta admit, your curiosity is at its peak right now, and it doesn’t help that they’re acting a little weird today.

Hazel rubs his temples in exasperation, groaning at Scarlet. “What part of ‘not yet’ did you not understand?” He then addresses you. “Sorry Y/N I promise we’ll tell you when we see you in person.”

“Ok.” Cool. That’s fine. You’re a little nervous about what they have to say and it’ll be torture to wait but you’re a big girl and you can handle not knowing for a week. “I can’t wait to see you guys!!” you added.

“Me too!” Scarlet’s personality is so bubbly and contagious that you can’t help but smile back at him.

“Same.” Hazel lets out a small yawn. “Well we’re in a different time zone than you and it’s really late here so I gotta hit the hay.”

“Mk, go get your beauty sleep.” You give them a little wave. “And thanks for everything. I mean it.”

“No problem Y/N.” Scarlet also gives off a yawn, stretching his tired limbs. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

After ending the facetime call, you lie on your back, staring at the ceiling. Your mind is active once again, but this time it’s not clouded with self-deprecating thoughts. Instead, you spend the remainder of the evening theorizing about the ‘important’ things the boys have to tell you. Maybe you’ll finally find out their real names. Or maybe they’ll reveal something else about themselves, like why they’re constantly travelling, or what they actually do for a living. Either way you can’t wait for next Saturday to come around.

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#bts fic #bts hybrid au #hoseok fanfic #yoongi fanfic #bts smut #bts fluff #bts fanfction #hybrid hoseok #hybrid yoongi #bts hybrid fic

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vorgues · 4 years ago

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50 Best Ways To Make Money Online

Making extra money doesn’t have to be hard. You don't always have to spend money to make money. There are lots of money-making opportunities out there.

One of the best things you can do to make money fast is to invest in your networking at work, spend time learning as much as possible, and get a raise or promotion. This alone could help you to make an extra $100 a day in no time. and get a raise or promotion. This alone could help you to make an extra $100 a day in no time. I am not going to lie: the reality is that you will have to put in some work to earn cash. But there are some clever real ways to make money out there if you are up for the challenge! This is what making more money can do for you:

Help you to save money and pay off your debt.

Pay your bills at the end of the month.

Help you stop living paycheck to paycheck.

Allow you to reach financial freedom.

It can even help you to leave a job you hate.

Plus, you could retire sooner if you want to. But remember: If you want to reach your goal of making $100 or more a day online (or offline), simply combine a number of these money-making ideas.

Whether you’re between jobs, a stay-at-home parent or just want to make some extra money without leaving the house, these work-from-home jobs and tasks can boost your income, helping you make ends meet, pay down debt or reach savings goals. Legitimate work-from-home jobs do exist but beware of scams that require you to pay upfront for the chance to earn extra money. Instead, check out these ways you can easily make extra money from home.

Let’s dive into it: here are the best ways to make money in 2021. No matter what your skills are, you can find something that’s right up your alley.

1. Sell Stock Photographs If you have a knack for capturing the perfect shot, you could turn those pictures into extra money. Sites like Shutterstock, Fotolia and Adobe Stock enable users to upload images and get paid when people purchase them. You’ll receive a fraction of the sales price — and a good picture can earn you thousands of dollars if it’s downloaded a lot. You must have the exclusive rights to the photos, and you must include signed releases for any recognizable people or private property in the images. 2. Use the Right Account for Your Money You shouldn’t settle for any old checking account when you’re looking for somewhere to keep your money. Instead, you should find one that pays you back. PenFed’s Access America Checking account does just that thanks to its annual percentage yield of 0.20% or 0.40%1 — depending on the daily balance — with a monthly direct deposit of $500 or more. By using an account that pays a higher APY, your money will grow more quickly while it sits until you need it. And if you’re able to avoid monthly fees, there’s no reason not to take advantage of a perk like this. 1APY (annual percentage yield) is accurate as of Sept. 18, 2020, and is subject to change at any time. Federally insured by NCUA. 3. Pet Sit If you love animals, getting paid to watch other people’s pets is a dream job. Sites like Rover connect pet sitters with pet owners. You’ll need to set up a profile explaining why you’d be a great pet sitter, but once you’re approved, you can set your own rates and hours. You could earn up to $1,000 per month, according to Rover. 4. Transcribe Audio Clips If you can type quickly and accurately, you can earn money by transcribing audio clips in your free time and turn it into a sweet side hustle. Companies like TranscribeMe! pay about $20 per hour, and top earners can earn $2,200 a month from these work-from-home jobs. If you have a specialized background like medical or legal training, you can earn higher rates. 5. Sell Unused Stuff If you’re looking for quick cash, consider selling items around your house, including your CDs, DVDs, games or books on the site Decluttr. Just enter the barcode, and Decluttr will tell you how much it’ll pay you for it. 6. Take Paid Surveys Online Various online websites will pay you for sharing your opinions on a range of topics. For example, e-Rewards is open to anyone older than 13. You’ll earn e-Rewards currency for each survey you complete, which you can redeem for gift cards. Other options include GlobalTestMarket and Harris Poll Online. The amount you make depends on how many paid surveys you’re eligible for and how quickly you complete them. 7. Become a Remote Sales Agent If you have a smooth voice and like talking to customers, sign up as a sales agent. You’ll take calls like you would in a physical call center, but some sales agent positions are remote jobs. For example, you can sign up with the company LiveOps to take calls for 30-minute blocks. First, you must apply, be accepted and complete a company training course, which takes about two weeks. Depending on the job, you could be paid an average of 25 cents per minute and/or commission and receive incentives for selling certain products. 8. Make an Online Business Out of Creating Online Courses If you have specialized knowledge, use it to create an online course. If you partner with a site like Udemy, you can set your price — between $20 and $200 per course — and keep a portion of the earnings based on whether you drive the traffic to the site or Udemy’s advertising attracts the students. 9. Surf the Internet There are dozens of ways to win money online. For example, companies want to know what you’re doing online, so they pay data aggregators like Nielsen to collect that information. To do this, Nielsen incentivizes people to share details about their computer and mobile phone usage by installing an app. You can earn rewards for each mobile device, plus sweepstakes entries. Nielsen gives away $10,000 each month to its Computer and Mobile Panel participants. 10. Serve as

an E-Juror You can make extra cash by serving as a mock juror so attorneys can practice their arguments and judge the value of their cases. Sites like eJury recruit U.S. citizens over 18 who haven’t been convicted of a felony. You can’t be an attorney, paralegal or legal assistant — or closely related to an attorney or employed by a law firm. Expect to make between $5 and $10 for each verdict. 11. Rent Out Your Car Renting out your car is one of the many ways you can make money off of tourists in your city. When you’re sitting at home, you’re not using your car, so consider making money from home by renting it to someone else. Companies like Getaround enable you to offer your car to someone who wants to rent it when you’re not using it. Getaround offers car owners top-rated insurance and 24/7 roadside assistance — so you’re fully protected. Active car owners can earn about $10,000 per year, according to Getaround. Smart Money Moves: 35 Useless Expenses You Need To Slash From Your Budget Now 12. Get Cash Back When You Shop Sign up with Ebates to get cash back when you shop online. Ebates has negotiated deals with more than 2,500 companies. Each time you click through the Ebates site to partner sites, the company pays a referral fee to Ebates, and Ebates shares it with you. You can also earn $25 for each friend you refer to Ebates. 13. Become an English Proficiency Test Grader To test for English proficiency, foreign students take tests that include writing paragraphs, which need to be scored. Companies like EditFast need people to grade the tests, and you can earn between $18 and $25 per hour. You must be a native or native-like English speaker, have a four-year college degree, pass proficiency exams and complete the training. Then, after making this extra money, you can grow it even more by putting it in a checking account like the one from PenFed. With an APY that can pay up to 10 times1 more than the average checking account, it can do more for your money. If you’re looking for an easy way to improve your financial situation, don’t overlook something as simple as your checking account. 1Sourced directly from: www.fdic.gov/regulations/resources/rates as of Sept. 18, 2020. 14. Host Dinner for Guests If you like to cook — and others like to eat your food — you could make money by hosting dinners at your home. Companies like Eatwith coordinate guests for your dinner parties. You must apply and host a demo event so the company can verify your culinary and hosting abilities. If you’re accepted, you’ll be on your way to making up to $1,100 per dinner. 15. Recycle for Cash Recycling helps the Earth by reducing pollution, but it can also put some cash in your pocket. Some states implement a bottle deposit you can get back when you turn in the used bottles at a collection center. For example, in California, you can earn 5 cents for most glass and aluminum cans and 10 cents for 24-ounce or larger bottles. 16. Watch Promotional Videos Some companies put together videos they want consumers to watch — and sites like InboxDollars find and reward consumers willing to do it. You’ll earn a little cash for each video you watch. If there aren’t any videos available to watch, InboxDollars also pays members to take surveys and online shop. 17. Turn Your Home Into a Bed and Breakfast If you don’t mind sharing your home with people, you can sign up to rent it to vacationers. On sites like Airbnb, you can list your space, set your rate and wait for guests to sign up. You have the flexibility to rent when you want and close up shop when you want your house to yourself. 18. Share Your Spending History Companies want to know what you’re spending money on. Snap pictures of your receipts, and upload them to the ReceiptPal app to earn entries into sweepstakes and points you can redeem for gift cards. 19. Test Websites If you like surfing the internet, consider becoming a website tester for UserTesting. Companies that are launching new sites will pay you to provide feedback about them and perform tasks to make sure they’re

functioning properly. You can expect to make $10 for each website you review. 20. Sell Coupons Online If you have any coupons around you know you won’t use, someone else might be willing to pay for them. For example, if someone is planning to buy a new laptop, a 10-percent-off coupon could save them a substantial amount, which might motivate them to pay you a portion of what they’d save to get the coupon. EBay does have some restrictions on coupon sales, however. You can never sell coupons for free items, and you can sell only 25 coupons — or up to $100 worth — each month. 21. Trade Cryptocurrencies Cryptocurrencies are currencies electronically created and controlled in a decentralized manner instead of by a government. Types of cryptocurrencies include Bitcoin and Litecoin. Trading cryptocurrencies can be lucrative — Bitcoin went up considerably between January 2017 and December 2017. Trading cryptocurrencies has its risks. If the price plummets — as Bitcoin’s price has in the past — you could lose your investment. 22. Create Slogans for Companies Companies love catchy slogans because they help sell products. If you have a knack for coming up with creative sayings, enter slogan contests. At Slogan Slingers, companies offer a reward of between $200 and $999 for slogans. If a company selects your slogan as the winner, you keep the prize, minus a small administration fee. 23. Lend Money to People If you have extra money, you can earn an average of 4% to 6% per year in profit by investing in peer-to-peer lending. Sites like LendingClub allow you to invest in small portions of loans — as little as $25 per loan — to other people. If the borrower defaults, however, you lose your investment. You must make a minimum opening deposit of $1,000 and meet the suitability requirements set by your state. For many states, that means you must have an annual income of at least $70,000 or a net worth of at least $250,000. 24. Tutor Students Online If you have a knack for explaining difficult subjects and helping students get better grades, consider tutoring online. You can find your own students and set your own rates to create an online business, or you can sign up to tutor with an existing company like Tutor.com. Tutor.com requires you to be at least a college sophomore, and you must be a subject matter expert in the areas you want to tutor. You must work at least five hours per week at Tutor.com. The site does not list the pay for tutors on its website, but with Chegg you can make $20 or more per hour of tutoring. 25. Host Direct-Sales Parties Direct sales companies like Mary Kay pay representatives to host parties and sell their products. You host events and invite friends, family and neighbors over to see and buy a company’s products — and you keep a portion of the sales. If you work for a single-level, direct-sales company, you can expect to earn an average commission of 20% to 25% of what you sell. 26. Rent Out Office Space in Your Home If you have home office space you don’t need to use, it could be worth money to someone who wants an office outside of their home but doesn’t want the associated cost or inflexibility of a traditional office space lease. You can set your own prices and decide when and for how long you want to rent your space. 27. Provide Tech Support Online If you get excited about fixing computer problems, sign up to get rewarded for being tech-savvy. Through companies like Upwork, you can complete lucrative freelance gigs online to earn cash and rewards by helping people fix their technology products. 28. Search the Web With Bing Switching your search engine is an easy way to make money from home. Microsoft, for example, will reward you for using Bing to search the internet. You earn points for activities like searches, which you can redeem for movies, games and gift cards. 29. Become a Virtual Fitness Instructor If you like helping people get in shape but don’t like traveling to the gym or other people’s homes, consider marketing yourself as a virtual fitness instructor. You might need to get

certifications to gain credibility with clients so you can oversee their workouts via webcam or other technology. Alternatively, you can have short, online meetings with clients and provide them with workouts to do on their own. Either way, you can work from home. 30. Sell Your Hair If your friends tell you they wish they had your hair, you might have a source of income growing right on your head. Sites like HairSellon provide an easy way to make money from home: You can list your hair for sale, and the site even has a calculator to help you set a reasonable price depending on its length, thickness and color. 31. Be a Virtual Assistant People will pay you to assist them with a range of tasks from canceling cable to scheduling appointments. “Virtual business assistance is an opportunity with so much variety and need that many people are able to find a place here,” said Angie Nelson of The Work At Home Wife. “In-demand skills can run the gamut from customer service and email management to optimizing eBay listings and setting up email funnels.” At Fancy Hands, the pay ranges from $3 to $7 per task — the faster you complete tasks, the higher your earning potential. 32. Sign Up for Credit Cards Credit card companies want to get their cards in your hands, and they often offer substantial bonuses to sign up. Many sign-up bonuses for credit cards are in excess of $1,000 — but you might have to spend a certain amount in a short period of time to qualify. Check that the card’s annual fee doesn’t offset the sign-up bonus. 33. Perform Tasks on Amazon’s Mechanical Turk Website Amazon has created a huge marketplace for tasks that require human intelligence for completion: Amazon Mechanical Turk. Businesses post tasks and how much the pay is for completing them. Tasks include identifying pictures or videos, transcribing audio recordings and conducting research. Depending on the task, you might have to prove your qualifications before you can claim it. The faster you complete tasks, the more you can make. 34. Adjust Your Home’s Temperature You can increase your bottom line by reducing your heating and cooling costs. Even if you’re always home, you can save up to 14% on your electricity bill if you set your thermostat 2 degrees higher and use a ceiling fan, according to Energy Star. You can also save money by dialing back the heat or air conditioning while you’re asleep. 35. Make and Sell Crafts If you’re a crafty person, selling some of your online handiwork might top your list of ways to make money at home. Sites like Etsy make it easy: You pay no monthly fee, just a 20-cent listing fee. Once your item sells, Etsy takes a 5% transaction fee, making selling you handmade creations and vintage goods in your Etsy shop, mostly painless. 36. Sell Video Footage to News Shows If you often find yourself in the right place at the right time to capture big events, let your video camera roll. News shows will pay you to use the footage for their broadcasts. You can use a site like ScoopBroker to sell your footage to a media outlet for exclusive or nonexclusive rights to it. 37. Write a Book Thanks to the advent of online publishing, you don’t need to have a connection with a big publishing house to deliver your story to the public. In fact, you can publish an e-book digitally through Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing. You can set your own price and earn up to 70% of it in royalty payments. 38. Pay Your Car Insurance in Full Instead of relying on monthly payments, save up to $120 a year by paying your annual car insurance premium in full, according to Lifehacker. As long as your insurance company has a website, you can boost your bottom line from the comfort of your favorite chair. More Opportunities: These Side Jobs Will Be the Most Popular in the US 39. Empty Your Closet If you have a closet full of clothes that you rarely wear, resell those clothes and put some cash in your pocket. Sites like Tradesy allow you to list items that are in great condition as well as authentic. You won’t pay a listing fee, but you will pay a 19.8%

commission on sold items totaling $50 or more and a flat fee of $7.50 on sold items totaling less than $50. 40. Assist With Political Action Campaigns If you’re a good communicator, consider putting your skills to work as a writer or organizer for political change as a way to make money from home. Sites like NextWave Advocacy recruit qualified applicants — often those with a background in writing who are interested in politics — and train them to work for clients on a range of political issues. 41. Negotiate Your Interest Rates If you have credit card balances, calling your credit card company to try to lower your interest rate works 80% of the time, according to CNBC. Even a small decrease in your rate can save you money. For example, say you carry a $10,000 balance: A 3% rate reduction would save you $300. Leverage how long you’ve been a customer and how you pay on time to increase your chances of success. 42. Use an App To Find Price Rebates Many stores have price guarantees, but it’s a hassle to track them all down and potentially even more of a hassle to file the paperwork. Now, you can get price rebates from the comfort of your own home. For example, sign up for Paribus via email, and the service will track the rebates you’re owed by scanning the receipts sent to your email address. It will seek out the lower price and request a rebate on your behalf if you qualify. 43. Review Computer Software Nobody wants to buy software only to find out it doesn’t work well. To help people avoid that disaster, you can write software reviews and get paid for them. SoftwareJudge will pay you up to $50 per review. 44. Watch TV You can make money from home watching TV: Download the Viggle app and earn one point for every minute you watch shows on subscription services like Netflix, Amazon and Hulu, plus bonuses for certain shows. You can redeem points for cash or gift cards. Although it might not be the most profitable activity, if you’re going to watch TV anyway, you might as well get rewarded with this easy way to make money from home. 45. Answer Questions via Text If you’re good at finding answers quickly, consider becoming a member at 1Q, a site that enables customers to ask questions and get answers quickly. After you’ve signed up, you’ll receive 50 cents per answer. The number of questions you receive depends on your demographics and location, so keep your profile updated so you don’t miss out on questions. 46. Create an Online Business Translating Foreign Documents If you speak more than one language, you can make money working from home translating documents. ProZ.com acts as a marketplace for translators to connect with people and companies who need translation services. On ProZ.com, clients request applications for translations and select the translator they want to conduct at-home jobs. 47. Take Stock of Your Memberships Cutting unnecessary memberships is as valuable to your budget as generating extra income. Go through all of your current memberships and subscriptions to make sure they’re worth what you’re paying. To help find lurking expenses, consider an app like Trim, which shows your recurring costs and can even cancel subscriptions for you. 48. Share Your Knowledge If you have specialized knowledge, you can monetize it by signing up as an expert to help others online. For example, JustAnswer will pay you to share your expertise. You must apply for each category you feel you’re qualified to provide answers for, and you need to have a degree or certification in that area. The amount you earn depends on how in-demand your area of expertise is. 49. Bet On Your Ability To Get In Shape Did you know you can get paid to sweat? Getting healthy can help you win money by competing in health challenges. Sites like DietBet allow you to compete with others in weight loss challenges. You must upload pictures to verify your starting and finishing weight. You’ll pay an entry fee, but the fees go into a pot that everyone who meets the goal splits. You’ll never lose money as long as you meet your goal. 50. Accept

Packages for Neighbors If you’ve ever missed a package, you know how difficult it can be to reschedule your delivery. That’s why people use eNeighbr to get packages accepted for them. If you’re going to be home anyway, consider signing up to receive packages for your neighbors. Packages will be sent directly to you, and the customer will pick them up. You can expect to make $3.50 per package.

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kace-the-writer · 5 years ago

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Fires of Fear- Chapter 1

Trigger Warning- starvation, theft, and mentions of murder, swearing

A criminal, that was all I am to the world. A dirty thief and killer. They say it like I actually have killed anyone but the cops and members of the twin’s search party, those damn fools. They say it like I don’t do what I do to survive as a low class citizen. But it doesn’t matter, what matters is that Patton and I are alive. Poor Patton, he would never be able to survive on his own. I have nothing against him, he’s my older brother and I love him, but he can be weak.

“Hey Pat, I got our food for today,” I said, giving him a slice of bread and a tiny bit of chicken I managed to steal.

“Thanks Virge,” He said, smiling. He always smiled, like the world hadn’t gone to hell under the twin’s rule. Like I didn’t have to steal so that we could survive. Like we were high class, like we sometimes didn’t spend days without eating. He’s not actually happy, it’s a weak mask that anyone could see through.

“Of course,” I said, taking out my own slice of bread. Wow, this is so great. I thought sarcastically, my brain seems to always be in sarcasm mode. I hummed a tune I heard while stealing from the middle class, unlike us they actually were allowed their own music.

“Virge, have you been stealing again?” Patton asked. This is what I mean when I say he would be unable to live on his own. He’s too afraid to do what he needs to survive. He sees stealing as “wrong”. I don’t, I see it as necessary.

“Yeah… how else would I have got this?” As much as I love him, he’s not exactly smart.

Patton pushed up his glasses. He had light blue eyes, which were actually common among the high class, but his dirty clothes and messy brown, undyed hair would give himself away. “Virgil, they need food as well.”

“They’re middle class! They have all the food they need!” I took another bite. Why did Patton think they are struggling like us? At least they are assured to get food daily, we have to either steal or endlessly labor to get some. We never got that privilege!

“Virgil, you should just get a job like I did. Sure, it sucks to be a janitor for a rich business, but at least I don’t steal!” He says it like the job makes him more than 5 nickels a day.

“Patton, you’re severely underpaid. I am not wasting my life working for some rich guy only to get way too little money! And working helps the twins! Do you really want to help them!” I balled up my fist, then realized what I was doing. “I-I’m Sorry.”

I walked out of the small tent we called a home and into the “neighborhood” which was more like 50 tents next to a lake which probably wasn’t that safe to drink from. The sun was setting into the ground, creating a beautiful painting of bright colors, but also brought on darkness. Our area was fenced and guarded, though there were areas for us to get out where the guards didn’t notice us. The only time they’d let us out is for those who have jobs.

I picked up a bucket from next to the river and filled it with water. There were a couple of other people out, but I don’t like to talk with anyone except Patton. When I was done I placed the bucket next to me and sat down, looking into the small lake. I’m not religious, but I pray that any diety possibly listening would just save me. I know that won’t happen, but my mind can hope.

After a couple of moments just staring out into the distance, I grabbed the water and went back to Patton, “I’m sorry for snapping at you.”

Patton looked at me and smiled, “I wasn’t mad at you kiddo! Just concerned! I’m sorry if it sounded like I was trying to force you to get a job.”

I sighed, “It’s alright, Pat. I brought some water back in case you wanted any.” I layed down on the blanket I called a bed. Patton and I both had one, but since our tent was so small we’d sometimes roll next to each other.

“Oh thank you Virge!” Patton picked up the bucket and took a sip of the water. It didn’t exactly taste good, but we had both learned how to deal with it. “Did you hear about the twins’ new law?”

I sat up, “no, does it affect us?” I did not want my life to change, I was fine with just staying the same.

“I’m not sure, it just says the business owners now have more freedom into how they treat their employees. So maybe me but not you.” Patton ran a hand through his light brown hair and sighed.

“If they hurt you I’ll kill them,” I said, taking off my hoodie. I actually stole it, it was hard for low class citizens to get any good clothing.

“Please don’t Virge, they’re just trying to live their lives and make money!” What was it with Patton and forgiving people who don’t deserve to be forgiven?

“Patton, I was just exaggerating!” I never told Patton about the times I actually have killed people, but that was just self defense! “I’d probably be killed if I did that.”

“Virgil the twins already want you dead,” Patton wasn’t wrong, I had stolen from a couple of high class citizens and that got me on the twins’ personal kill list. The only reason I’m not already dead is because I was wearing a mask and gloves when I did it.

“Those monsters,” hate on the twins was common in the lower class, but if someone from the higher classes did it they’d probably be imprisoned and killed. The twins didn’t really care about the lower class, we were just trash.

“Can I hug you, Virgil?” Patton loved hugs, but he always asked before giving any. I nodded, actually kinda wanting one. Patton smiled and hugged me. His hugs were always warm and safe, don’t tell him I said this, but I actually love his hugs.

“Pat, this is getting too long,” Patton apologized and pulled back, “thanks.”

“You should get some sleep Virge,” Patton smiled. I didn’t really want to sleep, I had nightmares, but he was right.

I jolted awake from my sleep, panting and sweating even though it was the start of fall. I layed back down and sighed, another nightmare about our parents dying, great.

I looked around and saw that Patton had already left for work. I rubbed my head and sat up, I should head out soon. I usually woke up before Patton, but I guess today is different.

I stretched as I got up, my back and body sore because of how I slept. That was usual for me but it still sucked. I opened the tent and winced as sunlight struck me in the eyes. It took me a couple seconds to adjust to the light l, but after I did I started walking. Not a lot of people were out right now, as most of them had work.

A guard in his red gear spotted me and strotted up towards me, what now? It wasn’t abnormal for them to randomly approach us, but I do hate when they do that. “Hello citizen,” said the guard, his back straight and his mouth lowered into a frown.

“Hello sir, what is it that you need?” I said, bowing my head when he was stood in front of me.

Of course I already knew what he was about to say, “Show me your card,” every citizen has a card that they were given at birth and got updated every 5 years. It has our full name, class, age, date of birth, and criminal record. Luckily I got away with all the crimes I’ve done. I quickly took my card out of my pocket and handed it to the guard.

“Alright, Virgil, looks good,” he handed the card back to me, “just make sure you don’t cause a ruckus, you unemployed tend to do that. Oh, and uh,” he grabbed my hair and pushed me to the ground before walking away. That wasn’t that bad.

I stayed on the ground for a couple of moments, (they love it when we do that) but I eventually got back up. I brushed myself off, caring more about cleanliness than some of the other lower class citizens, I try to keep myself as clean as possible. Of course that was hard when you were only allowed one cold shower a week.

When I realized the guard was still watching me, I went back to my tent. I sat down and waited. It didn’t take guards long to forget about us, but I didn’t want to take the risk of sneaking out while a guard may still have awareness of me.

I played with my hands as I waited. 6, 7, 8… I counted in my head, waiting for 400 to leave. There was nothing really to look at in the tent, but I focused my vision onto the lamp in the corner of the tent.

399… 400! Finally I got to leave. I looked around the area, only to see the guard changing his shift, perfect! I pretended to go get some more water, but when no one was looking I made a turn for the exit. I tapped my finger on my leg out of habit. My heart raced in my chest as I quickly slid under the fence, and into the middle class area.

Unlike the lower class area, the middle class area had actual developed houses and roads. Each person was free to do mostly whatever they wanted. Of course there was a structure to it. Each house had to be two stories, and each straight couple had to have two children, no more no less.

Rose thorns cut into my skin as I entered into the backyard of, what I like to call, the house. It was the easiest to steal from, as the owner never remembered to lock their door. It’s like they forgot that the lower class was right behind them.

It still jarred me to open the sliding glass door. Something about it just felt so… foreign and off. So did most everything else about middle class homes.

The house was, as to be expected, empty. This was the time the owner of this house went to work. As I scanned my eyes I saw something rather surprising, a 200 dollar bill just sitting there. This is a trap. I knew they had to notice me eventually!

In order to not fall for the trap, I avoided the money and took the long way to get to the stairs. They led to the owner’s bedroom, bathroom, and an office where they had a weird black box and a cage that housed a large albino snake.

As always, I fought the urge to go and hold the snake, and went into the bedroom. Under the owner’s bed was a box that held their money. I never took too much, as I didn’t want to actually harm them, for today just 5 dollars. I also went into their… collection? They had a large amount of snake merchandise, such as a giant snake plushie that I would never dare touch. The only thing I was interested in was the small golden snake pendant. I quickly snatched it and shoved it into my pocket.

Then I went back down the stairs, still ignoring the money, and entered his kitchen. The middle class got enough food to be considered a luxury. I snacked on some of the small crackers that they had and put some in my pocket for Patton. I also drank some of the clean water from their faucet. Unlike the lake water, I loved to drink this. The cold and crisp water gently ran down my throat.

The door is opening! Fuck fuck fuck! I made the last minute decision to run out as fast as I could, and hopes that they didn’t see me.

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drunknihilist · 4 years ago

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How’s My Life? I don’t know I Never Really Had One.

I was born in 1990, from 93 to 98 I was raised middle class in the country. Anything I wanted my dad bought it for me because he worked at Goodyear. My mother turned my word upside down from 98 to 2002 when she told me he wasn’t my real father and she was divorcing him. She wound up cheating on him and moving me in with an alcoholic former marine that locked me in a walk in closet for 4 years and for 3 of them when he wasn’t beating me I was his boyfriend and he never worked.

If I chewed my fingernails he beat me. If I didn't turn the light switch off before I left a room he beat me. If he caught me trying to sneak food out of the fridge he beat me. He shattered a flashlight over my head for bringing home a bad report card in front of my mother. He gave me a handjob with my pants on while my mom was sitting in front of me a few times and even though she looked me in my eyes she didn't say a word just kept watching television. He made me read porn magazines and watch pornographic films with him since I was 9 years old. He would make me hold his cock when he went to the bathroom to take a piss. I would wake up to him in the middle of the night having sex with me so I start sticking objects inside of myself thinking that if I stretched out the area that maybe I would be able to handle it more easier. There were even times where I would feel unusually tired between 5-7 in the evening which was around the same time he was taking me on these gun shooting trips with a man named George Reynolds and I have my suspicions that he was giving me drugs and letting him have sex with me when I was passed out. He stuck loaded guns to my head threatening to kill me if I told any of my teachers about it. So I was kept in solitary confinement and fed one or two meals a day to keep me alive so they could get my SSI check in the mail to buy beer with it.

I spent my 8th grade year living at my grandmothers house away from all the abuse and I actually made the honor roll. So my mom leaves him and meets my little brothers dad and talks me into moving in with her again and I spend 03 to 06 repeatedly getting grounded while his family bullied and beat me so they could get my SSI check in the mail and buy more beer with it. To make matters worse when we had to move out of a place in west logan his daughters left my belongings on the property after they moved their stuff out and the property owner threw all of my stuff in the garbage. The only thing I had to my name was the clothes on my back and I didn't even know that it happened until my mother called me and told me about it.

Then I told my grandmother I had enough and I want to move in with her she welcomed me with open arms. I actually went to the dentist for once because my mother never took me in the past ten years and I figured out I had 11 cavities in my mouth. I didn’t know how to interact socially around people so the friends that I did manage to make became a second family to me. So from 06 to 08 I was more focused having a social life and having two short term relationships than I was on my school work so I barely even graduated high school.

A woman that I wanted to marry that I spent 9 months with off and on and I lost my virginity to told me to meet her across town so that she could go back to my grandmothers house to meet my uncle in the basement for a quickie out of revenge for me breaking up with her multiple times and only got caught because my step sister walked in on the two of them so I spent the end of 08 to 2010 getting a lot of casual encounters out of my system trying to forget about her but nothing made me feel better.

From 2010 to 2012 I tried to get a job but I have had such an emotionless thousand yard stare that it was like trying to give a job interview to a robot. So when nobody would hire me a friend of mine named David was paying me a little bit of money working and training me as an contractor plus I also got a second job because a man name Charles who was running a business in the back of his place said that he needed a second locksmith. My grandmother kept getting sick so I began to spend more time taking care of her than I was showing up where I needed to be. David replaced me with another coworker and they ended up opening their own business and Charles ended up relocating out of state.

Here I am 22 years old I’m broke and I have to be a caregiver to my grandmother. Boy I could really use a friend, but as months went by nobody called me, texted me, came by the house. It got to where I was so depressed I checked myself into a mental health facility for a week to try to cope with my situation. Then when I got home I decided I love my grandmother dearly but I need to leave this town. I ended up leaving early in the morning to catch a bus and my grandmother talked to me on the phone thinking that I was a son of a bitch and she doesn't have anyone that's going to take care of her. So I had family who lived in a different state that took me in and I got a job working as a telemarketer. My uncle back home ends his own life and none of my family is helping my grandmother with emotional support so I have to move back for over half a year. I go back out of state again and another uncle gets me a job working as a maintenance man. However he cannot stop his addiction to pain pills so whenever he got done blowing his paycheck he was always wanting me to give him most of mine. Then one day I put my foot down and said I’m not doing this for you anymore and he told lies to my boss and got me fired.

I got a job working as a caregiver under the table for a lady who lived across the street from me because all of her family was thousands of miles away. So 400 dollars a month was a lot better to me than nothing. And at this point I was taking turns being a caregiver for my neighbor, grandmother and the aunt I was living with. My aunt has MS and I had two cousins that were in their mid to late 30's that never lifted a finger to do dishes or clean house I was stuck doing all the house work for free and whenever I am not in Logan and I'm back home I'm still expected to do it.

I have to regularly travel back and forth to my grandmothers house because whenever I call her she says she doesn’t eat for days sometimes because even though my mom lives in the house directly behind her she cannot come over and cook 2-3 times a day. It’s not like my mother works because now that she is single she keeps my little brother in the house just like she did to me most of my life while she plays games and spends his SSI money. I can barely afford to put shoes on my feet and my grandmothers pet cat sat on top of a new laptop and soaked it in piss and she said that it was my fault because I didn't lock the door when I went to sleep. So I went back home and didn't wanna talk to her for a few weeks out of anger.

My real father comes back into my life in 2017 and a year later he actually gets me a job working with him for the mayor of a small town near Columbus renovating rental properties. I find out mom cheated on him with the man that worked at Goodyear. The mayor pays me 200 dollars for a week of work and I thought if this is the rate I’m starting out I’m just gonna move up here. So I worked with him for over a month but I was still calling my grandmother twice a week just to see how she is doing. I try to call one day I never got an answer so then I tried again the next day and a nurse answers the phone and tells me she almost died.

I told my father I need to go back and be with her so when I got back my mother said she was gonna pay me 50 bucks to help my grandmother get situated inside of a nursing home facility. I said ok when I get done with this dad can just pick me up and take me back when all of this is finished. Not only was I lied to but my grandmother fell and fractured one of her bones and had to lay starving in her own piss and shit for 3 days before any of my family bothered to come over and check on her. She only spent one day in the nursing home before she started crying and screaming she wanted to go home. I wound up having to spend 2 months living at her house again changing her depends cooking all her meals the whole nine yards. Funny thing was when me my aunt and my mom went to pick her back up from the nursing home they had a good laugh after making the comment that they should have just let the crabby old bitch walk back home with her depends around her ankles holding onto a walker.

Here I am 30 years old all of my teeth are rotten and I don’t have any money for a dentist. I have never been able to stay on one job long enough to even know the first thing about paying income taxes because my aunt and my grandmother take turns crying over the phone that nobody is taking care of them. I would rather sleep under a bridge than go on welfare. I have never owned a car or got a stimulus check. I have never had my own place and I have never owned a smartphone. And all my family can do is sit around and laugh at me when I'm not around and call me a loser, meanwhile their kids are going to college and are living out on their own, but if it was any of them dealing with this they would have put my grandmother away a long time ago. It’s like as long as she is my problem they don’t have to deal with her but the minute they hear she’s too sick to eat or doesn’t feel well they would be the same people to jump on the phone yelling, “WHY HAVENT YOU MADE HER NOTHING TO EAT!” I am not a danger to myself or anyone around me.

My father has not been back to see me or even call me because every single time he shows up my family asks him if he has any money, I have no friends and I have anxiety attacks that keep me from sleeping at night because I know I’m going to die homeless under a bridge because I’m at that age that nobody is going to want to hire me anymore. I do little jobs here and there so I can buy some vodka and cranberry juice so it’s easier to go to sleep at night. For the past two weeks yet again here I am at my grandmothers house. She goes through 3 pairs of pants a day because of bladder problems I have to change her depends 7-8 times a day. I have to comb her hair take her phone calls do her cooking. Sometimes I don’t sleep for 2 days straight just so I can sleep on the third day to be up early enough to help her to the bathroom.

Again I’m 30 years old but it’s like I spent 17 years of my life in jail for a crime that I didn’t commit. And I told my grandmothers caseworker back when I was 23 years old that people I've tried to talk to over the years have told me that I can get paid for the work that I'm doing with her and all she said to me was that I would interfere with the income she was getting from the government so she can't do it. My mom doesn't own a car and she lied about being disabled so she could live off of her children’s SSI and my grandmother doesn't know how to read or write and has never owned a car but got pregnant 8 times so she could live off their SSI and my grandfather could use it to get drunk with. My family does like the remind me though that because I don't believe in God that I'm going to go to hell. Scientists have long since proven that dinosaurs existed millions of years before humans. I finally understood that the enlightenment that the Buddha was talking about was actually another word for nihilism. I suppose I understand letting go of material possessions and not causing suffering to other living creatures. Nihilism for me is like Buddhism except I am still a meat eater. I think people who are vegan do not understand that if these animals were not in such a demand that they are then they would go away just like the rest of the other species we've had a hand in wiping out as we let our population grow larger and larger.

I love my 84yo grandmother very much and she tells me she loves me and my mother has not told me she loved me in over 22 years. And I'd like to think that I'm finally going to be free to be by myself and make my own choices for once by the time that my grandmother is dead. But I know all that is going to happen is I'm going to be one of those 40yo men that stand on the street begging people for spare change. Till one day a cousin of mine is gone drive up in a new car laughing at me telling me I should have went to college. It's February 2021, I got a birthday coming up in 4 month, I have never been to jail one day in my life, I have no criminal record of any kind. I've just always been this dog that gets is chain tugged on and I bark.

The only thing that the world has taught me is people only have time for you as long as it is convenient for them and even when they appear genuine I always wonder if everything coming out of their mouth is a fucking lie. I have fantasies about picking up the pieces that Hitler left behind after he shot himself in the head only I do not believe in a master race. I feel betrayed by my own empathy for other human beings, I don't care what color they are, they are destructive selfish semi evolved primates that are too brainwashed by their own bullshit to accept the fact that money is their God. And just because there are children across America dying in the hospital from cancer that doesn't mean that when they die they got a heaven to go to.

After all those days trapped in my room when I was a child barely even weighing 90 pounds I never thought for one minute I was gonna grow up to be a loser. Lol if any of my family read this they would just say that if I was so damn miserable why didn't I just get out? Oh cool so that means you're gonna move her into your house? No??? Does that mean you're gonna help her with all of her daily activities so she doesn't cry to me on the phone every couple of days that she's not getting any help and all her home heath aides do is do dishes and sit on their ass? No??? Ok then what kind of Christmas card did you pick out for me this year? Whoever said we were getting you one, you need to get a job you damn loser. And it's actually worse now because they stopped all of her home heath aides last year because my mother gave her bed bugs and she didn't want to say anything about it.

I feel like a human trafficking victim with stockholm syndrome but when I look up what a caregiver is it actually says work without pay right in the description so it's not like I can take anyone for lost wages. I've never even got a present for my birthday party or for Christmas since I was 7 years old and the only time I do is when my grandmother gives me some money so I can put some new shoes on my feet or get a new coat to wear.

But I'm a man I'm not supposed to talk about my feelings I need to suck it up.

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murderdaddymayhem · 6 years ago

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Going To Disneyland With The Slashers Headcanons

Requested by anon!

Charles Lee Ray/Chucky:

In human form, Charles fucking hates it. He barely even tolerates it for you.

In doll form, Chucky loves it. Free food and souvenirs, and he doesn’t have to pay to get in (”Why would I pay $200 of our hard earned money to go sing with woodland animals?” was always his argument). He can sneak onto rides, he can hide and pose as an animatronic. He laughs every time he makes a child point and cry.

Beetlejuice

Knows literally everyone in the Haunted Mansion. “Ghostie Hostie! It’s me, ya boy!” Everybody thinks he works there. He pretends he does so he can lead them off to weird places of the park when all they wanted was a dole whip. Haha. That wasn’t funny Beej, that kid is crying now.

Jack Torrance

He tolerates it, but if it makes his girl happy, he’ll pretend he’s having a good time. He just won’t go on It’s A Small World. Anything. But. That. After a while though, he can’t take all the screaming little brats, and hangs around the Tower of Terror. Come to think of it, he’s still there... wait-- is that a black and white picture of him with the guests in the lobby?!

Tiffany Valentine

Is a huge fan of exciting rides, and is obsessed with everything Minnie Mouse. Will take a billion photos with you in front of the castle, and squeal every time she sees a princess. Her favourite ride is Snow White’s Scary Adventure-- a perfect mix of princesses and spooks!

Michael Myers (2007 or 1978)

Doesn’t really understand the hype. He spends half an hour admiring the pumpkins on the Haunted Mansion lawn having an existential crisis. He will hold your hand and take all your pictures for you if you ask him. You have to watch him like a child, because he’ll keep wandering back to stare at the pumpkins. Oh shit, look out! Loomis is in the doom buggy behind you two shouting about evil in the park.

Otis Driftwood

Complains aaallll day, grumbles, mopes, etc, but secretly, it’s making him pretty happy. Kind of. He didn’t get shit like this in his childhood, so it’s sort of therapeutic. If any character tries to talk to him, he flips them off. This almost gets you thrown out eight times. He likes Splash Mountain, and cheers (too loudly) for Br’er Fox to “kill that hip hopping little fucker before I do!” And why does he keep yelling "RUN RABBIT RUN!" at Br'er Rabbit??? Shut up, Otis. Please shut up.

Baby Firefly

Is having the time of her life, but has absolutely no regard for park rules. “What do you m e a n I can’t take my top off on pirates of the Caribbean, it was WET!” Buzz Lightyear’s Astro Blasters is her favourite ride, because you get to shoot stuff. Pew pew.

Captain Spaulding

Kind of loves it?? Also he’s having a really great time terrorizing the children who keep coming up to him and asking him if he’s a real clown. “Heya kid! Go find your mama and tell her I said to go fuck herself! HAHA!” Disney tries to hire him as an entertainer, he tells them he wants a million dollars for it. Oh, he also really likes the Blue Bayou restaurant. Says their menu needs more fried chicken. Is thrown out.

Doomhead

Doesn’t want to be there. Would literally rather be dead. He doesn’t have time for this shit, especially when he should be preparing for the next 31. W h y did you bring him?

Stu Macher

Pretends he thinks it’s stupid at first to look cool, but is actually a little kid again. He holds your hand and drags you to his favourite ride, California Screaming, which he makes you ride 10 times in a row. All around, you’re incredibly dizzy by nighttime, but Stu’s excitement is worth it. It reminds him of happy times when he was a kid, before his parents divorced.

Billy Loomis

The perfect date. You two take pictures together, get Mickey and Minnie shirts, hold hands on all the rides. Billy likes going to some of the live shows too. Will do something cute, like ask the Dapper Dans to sing a romantic song for you two while you share a Matterhorn Sundae at the Carnation Cafe.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

It’s a theme park, so they’re happy to be happy with you there! :))) They like the Ferris Wheel the best, and practically empty out Gibson Girl’s ice cream supply. Oops. The cast member just went screaming cause Shorty jumped over the counter to grab some more. Oh no-- Slim just threw a waffle at Rudy. Security’s coming. Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Art the Clown

Loves It’s A Small World. You know why. He wants to chop off all the heads and hang them from strings, then fill the water with blood. You know what goes on inside that head. You know.

Pennywise (1990)

Gets annoyed with the children very quickly, and tries to munch quite a few. You have to watch him very closely, or there’s a fat chance the SWAT team will be called. You’ve explained that you’re at a very famous theme park, and can’t eat any children. Papawise clearly doesn’t give a fuck.

Pennywise (2017)

Realizes this is a big theme park and is basically a buffet, but understands after you explain that he can’t eat anyone in a place this public. He then moves on to taste testing literally everything in the park, because he’s hungry dammit, and the rides make his molecules float so he doesn’t like them. His favourite restaurant is Ariel’s Grotto.

Freddy Krueger

Thinks this is very dumb, but likes Sleeping Beauty’s castle. Heh. Heh heh.

Jason Voorhees

Much like Michael, Jason doesn’t really understand the hype around the park, and doesn’t know the characters, so he just gets his pleasure from watching you and the magic in your eyes. He thinks it’s adorable and will never get tired of it. Will hold your hand. Make sure his mask is on tight, cause he almost lost it on Space Mountain and had a fucking field day.

Bubba Sawyer

You made him watch a whole bunch of Disney movies before going, so he knows everything about everyone. He gets very excited about his favourite characters he sees walking around (he’s partial to Alice in Wonderland) but is too shy to meet them unless you walk up with him. He’ll also give you piggy back rides when your feet get tired! Don’t take him to the Tiki Room, loud noises upset him.

Chop Top

Is having the time of his LIFE. You will have to DRAG him from the park at the end of the day. He runs up to characters and asks them a bazillion questions that are sooo fucking hard to answer, sorry you have to deal with this nastyboi asking what your hair growth routine is today Rapunzel, but god is he excited. He wants to hit every ride, but gets lost trying to get there. He also buys a very nice pair of mickey ears to hide his plate. Don’t ask him to ever take them off, he won’t.

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eldunea · 5 years ago

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why the sinclines are weird as fuck to other rich people

They’re not spoiled schmucks.

have you seen all those whiny rich kids going on dr. phil, having spats with their parents because they’re not getting enough money? hell no, the sinclines aren’t like that. they raise their kids with hardcore discipline, they raise them to be aware of their privilege and use it to help others, not merely stay on top of the heap themselves. as if the no hot water baths rule weren’t enough, the sincline household also abides by the following rules:

the internet gets turned off between the hours of 12 AM and 7 AM. because in the words of honerva sincline, “nobody needs to be on the internet after midnight!”

if you’re over 18 and don’t have a job, you’re put on an allowance of $2,000 a month. if you have temporarily left school to become a trainer, you are given money only up until $2,000 a month. this means no leather gucci handbags, no designer shoes, no eating out every day, no trips to europe in the middle of the college year. and if you happen to overstep your allowance? hell no, your sincline mom and dad aren’t going to give you extra. instead, they’ll just send you nothing but water so you won’t die of thirst until your next salary comes in and say “good luck kid, better hope you have nice friends.”

if you’re over 18 and off to college, you’re also expected to do your own chores. fun fact, one of my friends at my school once overheard two students complaining that they never learned how to do chores because their parents had servants, and their solution was literally just to pool money with other rich kids to hire someone to do the work for them. the sinclines look at that and are like hell naw. even though they have magic to do most of the work for them, they teach the kids how to do everything by hand since magic is prohibited in most dorms and they won’t have those fancy spells to help them out.

hard work is its own reward. you are not paid to do chores, to get good grades, or to do anything that’s otherwise required to be a good upstanding person in society. the kids learn this real quick.

Their kids don’t inherit any money.

the sinclines are among the only wealthy people on the planet who don’t have a fortune of cash. though they have many valuables, they don’t hoard money in their bank accounts--anything kept in any particular sincline’s bank account for a rainy day is immediately donated to charity upon that person’s death. of course, if one of their kids say incurred some healthcare expenses overseas and is struggling to pay it off, there would probably be some money sent to help them. but nobody inherits millions to fiddle fuck around with--that’s just not the sincline way.

They can’t afford servants.

currently, there are nearly twenty adults in the sincline family, all of them quite prominent and successful in each of their respective fields. each one is worth millions before taxes and donations, which puts the collective net worth of the family at close to $1 billion. yet they don’t have any servants in their home, nor do they have limos taking them everywhere or own private jets or yachts. why? because the vast majority of the money they make gets donated to charity. after all is said and done, each sincline is only worth about $200 - $300k--which is still a lot, but it’s not enough to hire an entourage of live-in servants or to buy a private boat and go on a round-the-world cruise. for this reason, it’s a running joke among the sinclines that they’re fucking broke.

They don’t use what they have for anything they would consider to be petty reasons.

like i said before. this family could be billionaires if they wanted to be. theoretically, if one of their family got sued for some stupid shit, they could outspend almost anyone in court. but honestly, if whoever opposed them was trying to play the outspending game and the money they’d lose is less than the money they’d spend in court, they’d probably just take the L. since they donate millions to charity and to other causes, that means they provide food, shelter, healthcare and clean energy to millions of people. for every thousand dollars they take for themselves from the amount that they donate, dozens of people might not get to eat. yeah it would suck to lose the case but not as much as it would suck for those people to go to bed with empty stomachs.

this also means they don’t use money to help each other get away with doing bad things. they firmly believe in letting people experience the consequences of their actions, and so to use money to avoid a jail sentence or lessen it is unthinkable. if you’re a sincline and you fuck up in a way that gets you in trouble with a just law, their strict lawful good selves aren’t gonna magically think it was less bad because you’re their family--and they are most certainly not going to throw money at you so you can avoid what you deserve. so you’re gonna be in jail for a few years……so what? thousands in the united states are defaulting on their student loans. hundreds are facing homelessness because they can’t afford their healthcare bills. there’s an environmental crisis that’s waiting to be solved, and if it’s not, everybody’s gonna die by 2100. there are kids on the other side of the globe who are starving to death. if you hire a multi-million dollar lawyer to help your case, those causes will go without when quite frankly, they are more important.

They don’t tolerate other rich peoples’ shit.

i’ve already done a post on this before: they’ve seen how foreign rich people can get and they will call them out on it every time. they see the corrupt elite as failing to exercise their responsibility as more privileged members of society and rail against people using their wealth for extravagant or otherwise selfish ends. it’s for this reason that they are extremely unpopular with wealthy families outside unova. this is fine with them. if being a dick makes you popular, they’re willing to be the most unpopular people in the world.

#worldbuilding. || HOUSE SINCLINE

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lovemesomesurveys · 6 years ago

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What’s the most played song on your iPod? I haven’t used my iPod since 2012. I use Spotify on my phone, but I don’t think it tells you what your most played song is. What is one quality you admire most in others? People who are driven and get shit done. What would you do with a million dollars? Sigh. I’d have to first and foremost pay off my debt. I’d also help my parents and brother out. I’d get us a new house. Traveling is a must. What’s your favorite song to dance to? I don’t dance. Well, unless you count a little head bobbin’ and maybe a little movement of my arms or shoulders. lol. What would your ideal birthday party be like? I’m 30 and old so I don’t look forward to my birthday anymore, ha. If I were able to travel for my birthday then that would be nice.

If you could be reincarnated into anything you wanted, what would it be? I don’t want to be reincarnated. I don’t believe in it. What talent would you like to have? A talent at all would be cool, but in particular I wish I had any artistic ability or was musically inclined. Are you ticklish? Just my neck. What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep? 30+ hours. What New Year’s resolutions did you make? I don’t make those anymore. What are three songs that mean the most to you? Everlong (acoustic) by Foo Fighters, Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd, and... I’ve having a hard time choosing a 3rd. There’s so many songs that mean something to me for one reason or another. So many memories and emotions. Who is the one person you miss the most? There’s 3 someones. What do you think of your parents? I love them with all my heart. I couldn’t keep going if I didn’t have them. My mom and I are super close, she’s my rock. What is one thing you would do to make the world better? I don’t know what I could do. What is your favorite kind of sandwich? My sandwiches at home consist of bologna, sharp cheddar cheese, mayo, mustard, and spinach with olive oil on the side mixed with basil and oregano for dipping. At my favorite deli I get turkey, salami, provolone, mustard, mayo, and oil and vinegar. If you had a puppy, what would you name it? My doggo’s name is Princess Leia. She’s 2, but she’ll always be my puppy. (: If I were to get another dog; though... I’m not sure what I would name him/her, but it’d also be after a character. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? I don’t know. How much cash do you have on you right now? Zero. What do you think makes you attractive to other people? Nothing. Would more money make you happier? It would help with a lot, but I wouldn’t be cured of my mental and physical health. I’d still have that baggage. Money isn’t magic. What is one of your favorite memories as a child? So many. I loved my childhood. It’s not that I didn’t have any struggles or obstacles, cause I did, but honestly that’s not what stands out. I was a strong, brave, resilient kid. Kid me would be so disappointed in current me. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do in your life? I’ve had a lot of struggles. How do you measure intelligence? I don’t know. There’s issues with the IQ test for one. Grades aren’t accurate representations of intelligence either; neither are exams. It’s a complicated thing.

What cartoons do you watch? Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and Doug. Have you ever used drugs? Only weed. If you were a Skittle, what flavor would it be? The red one I guess that’s the only one I liked. How would you describe your style? Very casual, ha. I wear leggings and oversized graphic tees. If you had to spend $1,000 in one hour, how would you spend it? Christmas presents for my family. What’s your favorite smell and why? I have many. Where do you buy your clothes? Mostly Hot Topic, Boxlunch, and Kohl’s. What’s your favorite kind of cake? White cake with buttercream frosting, funfetti/rainbow chip with funfetti/rainbow chip frosting, red velvet with cream cheese frosting, lemon with lemon frosting, and strawberry with strawberry frosting. Does intelligent life exist elsewhere in the universe? I don’t think there is in space, but what do I know. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? I’m good right now. Are you into tattoos? Nah. Do you like photography? I mean, sure? I’m not a photographer, but I can appreciate nice photos. If you were a holiday, which one would you be? I love Christmas, but I’d probably be Halloween cause it’s dark and gloom, ha. Do you have any siblings? I have 2 brothers. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it be of? I’ve wanted to get free bird tattooed on my inner wrist for several years, but I highly doubt I’ll ever get it done. What’s the biggest celebrity you’ve ever seen in real life? Jamie Lee Curtis. I met her at a book signing years ago. How many pushups can you do? Zero. What person in history do you admire most? There’s a lot of admirable people in history. Who is your favorite actor? Alexander Skarsgard. What is the most daring thing that you have done in public? Nothing. Have you ever lied about your age? Only back during the AOL chat room days. :X Have you ever cried while watching a movie? If so, what movie? Yeah, I’m not usually one to cry during a movie, at most I may tear up a little, but there’s been a few who have managed to get me. When The Fault in our Stars came out I ended up seeing it by myself cause no one else I knew wanted to see it and I was in there bawling my eyes out lmao so it was better that I went alone. The Avengers: Endgame definitely got me. Are you afraid of anything that most people are not afraid of? Probably a few things. Where do you see yourself five years from now? I just gotta take it day by day. What is your favorite candy? I haven’t had any candy in like over a year, but Reese’s are always a good choice. And white chocolate. Have you ever watched someone struggle with addiction? Yes. Who do you look up to for your style? I don’t look up to anyone for my style. Who is your favorite sports team? I don’t care about sports at all. How often do you drink alcohol? It’s been 6 years since I last had any alcohol. What is your life in three words? Blah, bleh, and meh. If you could be anything in the world, what would you be? Healthy. Would you have a pet dragon? If so what color would it be? Um, no. I’m no mother of dragons or whatever. What’s your favorite sport? None. Do you believe that homeless people are dangerous? Just because someone is homeless it doesn’t mean they’re dangerous. Sure, some homeless people can also be dangerous, but it’s not mutually exclusive. If you could be skinny and miserable or fat and happy, which would you be? Well, I’m skinny and miserable now. I’m not miserable because I’m skinny, but it is related to some of the issues I have and also adds to some. I just want to be healthy and happy. Period. If your life flashed before you, what do you wish you would have done? I want to do something meaningful with my life. If you were to invent something, what would it be? I have no idea. Who would you like to get to know better? No one at the moment. Have you ever had a near-death experience? I’ve had two. Do you fear death? Yes, of both losing my loved ones and dying myself. What is the strangest food you ever ate? I don’t eat anything I consider strange. I’m so picky and basic. Do you think you’re cool? Nope. I’m definitely not. What reality show would you like to be on? None. What’s your favorite thing to order at a Chinese food restaurant? Chow mien, pot stickers, egg rolls, and crab rangoon. I used to love orange chicken and kung pao chicken, but I can’t either one anymore due to the spicy food sensitivity I developed a few years ago. As someone who was once obSESSED with spicy food... it sucks. Are you happy with your life? No. If you could name your own planet, what would you call it? Planet Nowhere. I know that’s already a thing, but shh pretend it’s not. If you could live another 200 years. What would you hope to see? Oh yikes. I mean, the future terrifies me and I don’t want live 200 years, but I am curious about what the world will be like then. Like the advancements made and such. Hopefully it’s not worse... Would you rather be hot or cold? Cold. Definitely. How would you rate yourself? In the negatives. Would you ever move to a different country in an attempt to start over? Not another country, but another city, maybe even another state, yes. My family and I want to move out of here. If you could be a character from any book, who would you be? Hmm. Do you prefer taking baths or showers? I only take showers. I haven’t taken a bath since I was a kid. Do you still collect toys from Happy Meals? No. I heard they were bringing back popular ones from my childhood; though, and I kinda want to get those. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? Uhhhh. I have no idea. I’m not the most spontaneous person. In your opinion what is the greatest challenge the world faces today? * Like, the world or jst humanity? Bc I think humanity is its own worst enemy <<< Most definitely. Do you like dogs or cats better? Cats are cute and all, but I’m a dog person all the way. What have you achieved that you once thought was impossible? Earlier this year I got really sick and it knocked me flat on my ass, causing a lot of issues and setbacks. I didn’t think I’d be able to get to where I am now, which still isn’t good, but not like it was then. It was just really, really bad. If an ex texted you out of the blue, how would you respond? I probably wouldn’t even respond at all to be honest. Do you have a favorite poet? No. What have you tried to quit, but weren’t able to? Picking my nails, picking at/biting my lips, and picking at acne. Would you rather go on a shopping spree with $200 or put it in the bank? Put it in the bank. What was the last rumor that you heard? *shrug* What country star would you most like to meet and why? Blake Shelton. He seems cool. Have you ever been in a car accident? No. Are you an organ donor? No. What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done? Not taking care of myself like I should be...not doing and neglecting certain things. What is the meaning of life? Uhhh. What word do you like the sound of? I can’t think of an example right now. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? Strawberry. Wow, I haven’t had ice cream in like 3 or 4 years. Do you prefer cupcakes or muffins? I like both. Are you an athlete? Nope. There’s nothing athletic about me at all. What did the last text message on your phone say? I don’t feel like checking. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen in your whole entire lifetime? Hmm. I don’t know what I’d choose as the funniest movie ever of all time. What’s the worst nightmare you’ve ever had? Losing my mom in one and my brother in another. I woke up literally shaking and sobbing. What do you know how to cook? Ramen. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had, and what was it from? The one that made me a paraplegic takes the cake I’d say. What’s your favorite amusement park ride? Most of the rides at Disneyland. What do you wish you were doing right now? I’m fine with doing this. Who are your musical influences? I don’t have any. I’m not an artist or musically inclined at all. What was your favorite band or musician when you were 12? The popular artists and groups at that time circa 2001. What’s the best pick-up line that’s ever been tried on you? I’ll never forget this one guy in high school who actually came up to me and asked me my sign lol. How many drinks can you handle? I was a lightweight. What was the longest phone conversation you’ve ever had? A few hours. I can’t believe I actually used to spend that much time on the phone at one point. What’s your favorite candle scent? Autumnal ones from Bath & Body Works are great.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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ltjlily17 · 6 years ago

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Oh, can we call it a night?

What’s the most played song on your iPod? I don’t iPod anymore these days, but theres a site that will aggregate your Spotify listening, and the song I’ve listened to the most all time on Spotify is In Your Atmosphere by John Mayer. What is one quality you admire most in others? People who know what they want to do with themselves. What would you do with a million dollars? Invest it, maybe? Buy a new car. Start a non-profit that will save the world. Or just a small part of it. What’s your favorite song to dance to? All of them. What would your ideal birthday party be like?

No idea.This year I went to my favorite pizza place with a couple of friends, my mom and husband. Was pretty good.

If you could be reincarnated into anything you wanted, what would it be? I’m not sure I believe in any of that. What talent would you like to have? I wish I was ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC at something. I’m good at most things, and can get by, but I’m not outstanding at any singular thing. Are you ticklish? Nah. What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep? 3 days or so. I basically had the flu and felt like I was dying. Not like the real flu either, theres this illness you get when your body hasn’t slept in too long. What New Year’s resolutions did you make? None. What are three songs that mean the most to you? Mayonaise by the Smashing Pumpkins, Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton and Bornand Raised by John Mayer. Someone else used these italics and I’m just running with it.

Who is the one person you miss the most? No one? What do you think of your parents? They are flawed people. I make the best out of my relationship with my mom, but I’m just not sure I want to bother with my dad. What is one thing you would do to make the world better? Instill a sense of community. People would be so much better off if we all gave a shit about the other people we are on this planet with. What is your favorite kind of sandwich? Hot, cheesy, some kind of sauce. Other than that, I’m flexible. If you had a puppy, what would you name it? I got a puppy 2 years ago and his name is Finn. We wanted a Star Wars name and Supreme Leader was the runner up name. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? I can’t think of anything I’d wanna see. What people do behind closed doors is their business lol. How much cash do you have on you right now? None. I’m in pjs, but beyond that, I rarely use cash. What do you think makes you attractive to other people? Humor or personality? Would more money make you happier? I don’t know. We have a comfortable amount now, minus paying for healthcare. Steve may have a job offer that would cover the healthcare, but would I be happy not working? Would I just turn into a loser slug? What is one of your favorite memories as a child? I really don’t know. My parents pretty much screamed and threw things all the time until my dad moved out. Then they played horrible games with me in the middle. There’s a lot of stuff I don’t even remember about being a child. I’d say the good stuff started happening when I was a teen and could seek refuge in my friends and their stable houses. I had one friend in particular, Andrew, whose mom and dad were super nice and he had a fun little sister- every time I was over there, which was VERY often, it was like a slice of the good life. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do in your life? This was on another survey and I didn’t know how to answer it. I think once it’s done I just move on, I’m really a dweller. How do you measure intelligence? Unsure. I guess you just get a feeling for someones intelligence as you’re interacting with them.

What cartoons do you watch? None at the moment. I did just get Disney+, so that may change, but there aren’t really any cartoons I’m planning on watching. Have you ever used drugs? Nope. If you were a Skittle, what flavor would it be? The purple one. Sleeper hit. How would you describe your style? Hmmm. Casual indie bohemian with a side of lazy fat person. If you had to spend $1,000 in one hour, how would you spend it? The internet. Generally, my money goes to clothes or Halloween decorations. I really wanna buy some regular decor for the house though, so maybe that. What’s your favorite smell and why? I don’t have one. Something not flowery or overbearing. Something fresh and natural. Where do you buy your clothes? Anthropologie, ModCloth, Target, Gap, Old Navy, Loft. What’s your favorite kind of cake? Birthday cake? Funfetti? Does intelligent life exist elsewhere in the universe? I have absolutely no idea. I used to think that it was just statistically impossible that there wasn’t, but fuck I don’t even know how any of this got here, so I no longer have an opinion. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? MilkBar birthday cake. Are you into tattoos? I guess so? I like the art of them, I follow a lot of tattoo people on instagram and keep up with their work. I just got my first tattoo a week ago and I’m 35, so it’s not like something I do a lot, ha ha. Do you like photography? I do. I have illusions that I’m a photographer sometimes. I should be currently editing a wedding right now, but here I am. I’m just not sure I’ll ever be the kind of photographer I’d like to be, so I don’t know what I wanna do with it going forward. If you were a holiday, which one would you be? Halloween 100% Do you have any siblings? Nope. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it be of? I just got one. It’s a bat pusheen. I really wanted a bat of some sort and pusheen is my favorite so I just went for it. I always thought my bat tattoo would be a little more dark, but it is what it is lol. What’s the biggest celebrity you’ve ever seen in real life? I hid behind a dumpster when I was like 14 and 3 of the Backstreet Noys walked right by me, ha ha. I have some photos with me and the guys from Good Charlotte from when I was a wee teenybopper. How many pushups can you do? Absolutely zero. What person in history do you admire most? None? I don’t think I admire anyone. These surveys are quickly informing me that I don’t believe in anything or look up to anyone. Am I inert? Who is your favorite actor? I don’t have one. Ha ha, see above. I like most of the stuff Chris Pratt is in. Robery Downey Jr as Iron Man is iconic, but I’ve never seen any of his other movies. I like Adam Driver in Girls and Star Wars. What is the most daring thing that you have done in public? Spoke. Have you ever lied about your age? I don’t think I’ve ever had cause to. Have you ever cried while watching a movie? If so, what movie? For sure. Everything makes me tear up in my old age. Last movie was probably Endgame, though. Are you afraid of anything that most people are not afraid of? Not like huge, life changing fears, but I’m always afraid a bug will get caught in my hair and I can’t touch drains because they freak me out. Where do you see yourself five years from now? I’ve never been one to make plans. Hopefully happy with more direction. What is your favorite candy? Fun Dip, Nerds, Starburst. Have you ever watched someone struggle with addiction? Not someone suer close, but there are lots of auxillary people I know that have and do. Who do you look up to for your style? No one in particular. I see things on the internet I like and try to incorporate that, but its always varied sources. Who is your favorite sports team? I don’t follow sports. How often do you drink alcohol? Once every two weeks? Even then, its usually just one drink with dinner. I don’t much care about drinking. It seems like a lot of work to fill myself up with something I don’t really like the taste of just so I can potentially feel bad later. What is your life in three words? Evolving yet bland. If you could be anything in the world, what would you be? I knew that, I’d be working towards it. Would you have a pet dragon? If so what color would it be? Sure. Whatever color dragon is fine with me. What’s your favorite sport? The only one I even kind of pretend to care about is baseball. Do you believe that homeless people are dangerous? No. If you could be skinny and miserable or fat and happy, which would you be? I’d always pick happy. If your life flashed before you, what do you wish you would have done? Hmmm, I don’t know. I don’t have like any huge regret at the moment so probably just wish I’d have enjoyed myself more. If you were to invent something, what would it be? Hopefully something that makes the world better. Some kind of climate change related thing? Who would you like to get to know better? This wholesaler real estate guy that has been selling us properties. Maybe if we knew him better, he would give us better deals, lol. Have you ever had a near-death experience? Near drowning when I was seven. Do you fear death? Yep. What is the strangest food you ever ate? Hmmm. I like food with interesting combinations. Like smelly cheese or beet pesto or something, but I’m not on board with weird meat and I don’t eat seafood. Do you think you’re cool? Nah. What reality show would you like to be on? None. I don’t watch any of them. The only show like that I ever watched was the Osbournes, ah aha. What’s your favorite thing to order at a Chinese food restaurant? Whatever is gluten free. Ususally no choices for me at most chinese places. PF Changs has pad thai and general tsos I can have and another place nearby has general tsos too, but thats about it.

I loved lo mein and crab rangoon in my former life, though. Are you happy with your life? For the most part. If you could name your own planet, what would you call it? I’d need some plantary details before coming up with a name. If you could live another 200 years. What would you hope to see? People learning that we need to work together. Would you rather be hot or cold? Well, I’m cold like 90% of the time and that sucks, but at least you can do something about it and layer up and get blankets and such- if you’re hot, you’re just stuck. How would you rate yourself? What am I rating here? I’m like a 0 at makeup skills, but like an 11 if you need someone to pick you up in an emergency. 10 at playlist making. 1 at doing the dishes. Would you ever move to a different country in an attempt to start over? Maybe not to “start over”, but I would definitely consider a dream job in another country if all the details worked out. If you could be a character from any book, who would you be? No idea. I read a lot of Stephen King and none of those characters are alright. Do you prefer taking baths or showers? I’d love to take a bath, but I’m a little big for the tub. Do you still collect toys from Happy Meals? Nope. I never ate happy meals even as a kid, so I never did. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? I drove two states over for a sandwich once. It was like a 15 hour round trip. In your opinion what is the greatest challenge the world faces today? People being willing to fuck over every one else if they think it will benefit them in any tiny, miniscule way. You are destroying everything by being an asshole and letting the people that really have all the money get away with it. Do you like dogs or cats better? I was 100% cat until I got a dog 2 years ago. I’m mostly dog at this point. Don’t tell my cat. What have you achieved that you once thought was impossible? Hmm, I don’t know. I’m a lot better off than my parents were. I just kind of thought the constant worrying about the car breaking down or the bills being paid was grown up life, so its nice to get here and know that I worked hard to not have those problems. If an ex texted you out of the blue, how would you respond? I don’t think I would. I’ve been with Steven for a decade, so theres def nothing that needs to be said to anyone that far back. Do you have a favorite poet? I don’t. I really like some poems I’ve read randomly in my internet travels, but I’ve never really been able to sit down and read a book of poetry. What have you tried to quit, but weren’t able to? Eating too much food? Would you rather go on a shopping spree with $200 or put it in the bank? I’d rather go shopping. I might save it, though. What was the last rumor that you heard? No idea. I don’t really have rumors around me at this point in my life. My friends aren’t like that and I’m not working anywhere at the moment. What country star would you most like to meet and why? I don’t really know who any of them are. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. One of them happened when I was like 15 and it pinched a nerve in my neck and half of my left hand went numb. My mom didn’t believe me for a really long time that there was something wrong until she watched me try to pick up a glass of milk with my left hand and it just fell to the floor. Are you an organ donor? Yes! What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done? Unsure. I’m fairly adventurous, but I don’t do super dangerous things. I guess just trespassing in old abandoned buildings when I was younger could have been dangerous. What is the meaning of life? Moments of joy. For you and others. What word do you like the sound of? Nothing in particular jumps out to me. Isn’t Cellar Door supposed to be lovely? What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? Hmmm. I don’t know. Its more about the brand I think. I usually get Jeni’s or the other fancy ice cream brand when I get the chance.

I always get the cake flavored froyo, though. Do you prefer cupcakes or muffins? Cupcakes. Are you an athlete? Ha ha, no. What did the last text message on your phone say? From my brother in law. He’s doing the work on the house we just bought, getting it ready for a renter. He wants more money, lol. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen in your whole entire lifetime? Man, I don’t know. I think maybe Grandma’s Boy was the funniest I had seen at the time. I usually don’t even like movies like that. What’s the worst nightmare you’ve ever had? I had this dream when I was a kid that I left the scissors out and they flew up and cut my moms fingers off and the whole dream was dark and black and white because it was night, but at the end, she picked up the phone (landline, because cell phones weren’t a thing then) and the only color was the green light coming from the phone that illuminated the numbers and she was trying to dial 911 with her fingers that weren’t there.

I probably had that dream close to 30 years ago now and it’s still clear in my mind.

What do you know how to cook? Lots of things. I’m especially good at carbonara or alfredo. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had, and what was it from? I fell down the stairs and broke several bones, severely sprained both ankles and ended up getting surgery to fix the cartilage in one ankle. What’s your favorite amusement park ride? Any that my fat ass can fit on. What do you wish you were doing right now? Well i’m doing this instead of things I should be doing. Who are your musical influences? I don’t play music, so I’m not really influenced? What was your favorite band or musician when you were 12? The Smashing Pumpkins, Bush, Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson and the Back Street Boys, ha ha. What’s the best pick-up line that’s ever been tried on you? I don’t think anyone has ever given me one. How many drinks can you handle? I don’t really know at this point. Getting older changes things. I know that if I have one drink and then stop, I get a headache, lol. What was the longest phone conversation you’ve ever had? Hours and hours. Like 7 or 8 probably? Back in my day you could only talk to boys on the phone because we didn’t have cell phones or text messaging and you only had dial up internet. What’s your favorite candle scent? I got one from Anthropologie called Riviera that was my favorite candle scent ever. I bought two, but they are sold out now and I am very sad.

#soldier on #trash bags #flying bats #survey #dead roses

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serinemolecule · 7 years ago

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How to credit card

Using a credit card is like paying with cash, except you also get free money and other benefits.

"But Serine, there's no such thing as a free lunch! [1] Where does the money come from?"

I'm glad you asked. When you buy something with cash, the seller gets 100% of what you pay. When you use a credit card, the seller gets around 97% of what you pay, and the credit card company gets the other 3%. [2] The credit card company is of course very willing to give you money and other benefits if you let them have that 3%. [3]

Sellers are willing to give up 3% because handling credit cards is so much easier than cash. You don't have to count change, and you have a computer record of who paid how much, so it's easy to figure out who's lying when the customer said they paid. Not to mention it eliminates the problem of cashiers stealing money by pocketing customers' money [4]. Also not to mention the store wants the customer to be happy (happy customers spend more) (customers hate having to pay a fee to use a credit card).

Anyway, in the general case, credit cards are basically always a good thing, and you should basically always use them. [5] So I’m going to teach you how to pick one!

When not to credit card

If you are irresponsible with money, and are afraid you will spend more money than you have, you should not use a credit card. If you have good reasons not to want a bank account, you probably don’t want a credit card for similar reasons.

Never carry a balance on a credit card (pay off less than the total amount you owe every month), it piles up and ruins your life. You should spend money on getting things you want, not on paying off interest.

“Forgetting to pay” is never a concern. All modern credit cards have an auto-pay feature to take money from a bank account. As long as you don’t spend more money than is in your bank account, you don’t have to worry about accidentally going into debt.

What benefits you get from using credit cards

Most credit cards will give you 1%-2% cash back (for each dollar you spend, you get a certain percentage back in free money).

Basically all credit cards give you the ability to chargeback. This means that if some business steals your money (charges you more than you owe, etc) and you can prove it, you can call the credit card company and tell them to take your money back. Note that this is a last resort (only to be used after you contact the business and they don't give you your money back), and will generally result in the business completely cutting off contact with you (for instance, if you chargeback Steam, you'll lose access to all your Steam games etc).

Credit cards also act as a short-term loan. If you ever need a payday loan, a credit card will give you significantly less interest than an actual payday loan. You never want a credit card as a long-term loan (the rates are horrible), but they actually give you close to the best possible rate for a loan of a few days. Just remember that debt is evil and never to fall into it.

Other benefits vary wildly and are specific to the card, but common benefits include various forms of insurance (car insurance on any rental car you rent with the credit card, warranty on anything you buy, etc).

Which card to get

It's actually really easy to choose a credit card. If you're in the US, here is Serine's One-Step Guide:

Do you spend more than $2500 per year in travel (hotels, flights, Ubers, etc) and restaurants, and do you have the free time to screw around with flyer miles?

• No ➡ Get the Citi DoubleCash

• Yes ➡ Get the Chase Sapphire Reserve

In some extremely obscure situations, you might want other cards, but I'll cover those after I cover these two cards.

The Citi DoubleCash

The Citi DoubleCash has no yearly fee, and gives you 2% cash back, effectively. This makes it better in every way than most other cards.

Some cards give 1% cash back and a rotating 5% category. They will give you a headache trying to optimize them and you will still get less money back compared to the Citi DoubleCash, in the end.

Some cards give you points that you can spend using a complicated procedure, which will be worth approximately 2% if you can spend them perfectly. Just use the Citi DoubleCash, and skip the complicated procedure.

The Chase Sapphire Reserve

The Chase Sapphire Reserve has a $550 yearly fee, and gives a huge number of benefits that are totally worth it if you spend a decent amount of money. Also it looks really cool because it's metal and black. [6]

It comes with $300 of travel credit per year, which you can blow through in, like, a single flight, or like a few days of hotel, or like a normal amount of Ubering (anyone who's even considering this card should have no problem spending that much). So the yearly fee is effectively $250.

It gives you 3 points per dollar on travel and restaurants, and 1 point per dollar on anything else. "Points" can and should be converted to frequent flyer miles, at which point they're worth 2-4 cents each if you put them towards international flights, especially international first-class flights.

It also comes with a pile of side-benefits, like free Priority Pass membership (gives access to a bunch of airport lounges), free TSA Global Entry (lets you basically skip airport security and customs), free DoorDash DashPass, free Lyft Pink, and a lot of other exclusive discounts.

Assuming you spend enough and you're willing to spend the effort optimizing flyer miles, it basically pays for itself and the other benefits are free. If you don’t want to optimize flyer miles, the other redemption options are worth 1¢/point or less, and you’d be better off with the Citi DoubleCash.

Honorable Mention: The AmEx Platinum

I know I didn’t mention the AmEx Platinum at all, but if you have lots of money and want the best benefits on a card (or you take a lot of flights), the AmEx Platinum is probably the card for you.

The AmEx Platinum costs $550 per year, and is a luxury card pretty similar to the Chase Sapphire Reserve. Its biggest advantage is that it has much better airport lounge coverage in the US.

Priority Pass (which comes with both the Chase and the AmEx) gives you lounge access for most international flights, but the AmEx Platinum also gives you lounge access for US domestic flights.

It gives 5 points/dollar for airfare and AmEx Travel hotel purchases, and 1 point/dollar for other purchases, and its points can also be turned into flyer miles.

Other advantages include Gold membership status at Hilton, Marriott, Starwood, and Ritz-Carlton hotels. Mostly this means usually-free late-checkout, and, like, free bottled water sometimes.

Instead of the $300 travel credit, though, the Platinum has a $200 airline fee credit (abusable to buy gift cards) and a $200 Uber credit (spread out across 12 months, so hard to maximize unless you use Uber all the time). It’s harder to max these out, but if you do, it’s effectively $150/year.

Overall, the main reason you’d actually want the Platinum over the Sapphire Reserve is if you fly a lot in the US and really want the additional airport lounges.

Extremely obscure situations

So the most common one is: If you have a ton of free time and spend a decent amount of money, you might be interested in churning. I don't really want anything to do with churning so you're going to have to learn how to do it from someone else (google it, I guess).

If you travel internationally, be aware that the Citi DoubleCash has a foreign transaction fee. It's still worth it (2%, which is still less than the fee you'll be charged by most money exchangers – Wells Fargo takes like 5%), but it's also not very hard to just get a credit card that doesn't have that fee. The Amazon Prime card and the Costco credit card are good options (these two are pretty good cards to have in general, honestly; they have no yearly fee and a few specific uses, just don't use them as your main card because they don't have the 2% base rate the DoubleCash has).

If you have a lot of very specific foreign transactions you need to make that isn’t just taking vacations internationally, the Capital One Quicksilver has 1.5% cash back and no foreign transaction cost (the Amazon and Costco cards are better for travel).

That's it

I haven't actually taught you how to spend money wisely (maybe that'll be a different post), but at least you can get more value out of the money you do spend now.

There aren’t links to any of these credit cards because I don’t want to get accused of earning money through affiliate links or something. You can find all of them on Google.

[1] In a way, there's no such thing as a free lunch, but in a way, there totally is. Like, think about breathing (but not too hard – I don't want you to start manually breathing – ...I'm sorry). There are some minor trade-offs (you have to use energy) and situations where you shouldn't (do not breathe while underwater unless you have special equipment) but overall, it's basically always correct to choose "breathing" over "not breathing".

[2] The 3%ish is split kind of complicatedly, in terms of who gets what. The credit card company definitely gets most of it, though.

[3] And also to get your late payment fees and interest and stuff, but honestly, credit card rewards come out of the processing fee.

[4] It's easiest for cashiers to steal money if you're selling something hard to track, like french fries. A cashier can give a customer some french fries, pocket the customer's money, and the store owner would never know. This is why a lot of fast food places say "free food if we don't give you a receipt". The receipt makes sure the cashier gives the store owner the money.

[5] Some stores don't accept credit cards. These are very very rare in the US, and mostly restricted to, like, certain vending machines, and tiny stores that hate the 3% transaction fee. Also, a lot of service workers prefer you to tip in cash, because that makes tax evasion easier (it's up to you whether you consider this a good thing or a bad thing).

[6] People who’ve seen mine have totally thought it’s "the black card" because it’s black and metallic (it's not, it’s a lot easier to get than the actual AmEx Centurion).

#how to money #credit cards

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