#Walking the Path of Compassion

[thepersonalwords]

Some fish love to swim upstream. Some people love to overcome challenges.

Amit Ray, Walking the Path of Compassion

[quotelr]

Success needs vision to see, passion to transcend, patience to withstand and the character to overcome failures.

Amit Ray, Walking the Path of Compassion

[jethroq]

speaking of athletic world records, javelin is just insane. the world record for javelin doesn’t improve, not because we have reached the limit of pointy stick throw far, but because for some stupid sense of tradition javelin is still thrown on the middle of the track, and the hard limit for the record is the end of the lawn and when atheletes start approaching that line the IOC has to tweak the design of the javelin to make it fly worse, so people don’t hit the high jumpers on the other side.

and you may also wonder, in this sport where you throw an aluminum spear as hard as the human body physically can, are there ever accidents? and there sure are. people let go a split second too early or late and it goes off in the wrong angle, and pierces the liver of someone waiting to do their long jump, or a referee observing another event on the sideline.

[ashmacg]

Europeans have been losing wisdom RE: the natural world since we first read that bit in Genesis about having "dominion" over the Earth and other life on it.

Nature is most beautiful when humans have the humility to let it take its own course.

[invoncible]

I’d love to see Invincible!variants meeting OG reader with powers/super strong because in their world, their reader is normal. I’d like to see their reaction when they’re expecting someone weak and then they suddenly fly off or get decked in the face!

INVINCIBLE VARIANTS & reader who can put them in their place ✧˚. ft. nogoggles!mark, mohawk!mark, viltrumite!mark, the surviving 8 cw. canon typical violence

— this is so funny ily nonnie but uhh rereading this i feel like i lost the plot, hope u enjoy nonetheless lol <3 ! — reader is with MAIN!mark & has scarlet witch type powers

when multiple versions of your boyfriend were zipping around the planet causing indescribable amounts of destruction, you were a little confused. all of these guys... were mark? what mark could've been if things went a little different?

you held back a little when fighting them because they had the face of the boy you loved so much, but after seeing them in action... they had to go.

you were flying beside your mark, the only good one apparently, when cecil barked in your ear.

"y/n, i need you." your comm buzzed to life with cecil's instructions.

"kinda busy, cecil." you muttered under your breath.

"please, i know you're done with me. i know both of you are. but don't turn your back on the people who're in danger."

"what does he want?" your mark snapped, the distaste evident on his face.

"help." you answered him with a sigh, your moral compass guilting you into seeing where you were needed. you promised mark you'd be back soon.

"just tell me where the problem is." you shot back at cecil.

NOGOGGLES!MARK

"i need you at guardians' HQ."

you narrowed your eyes in concern. "the guardians are down?"

"it's a batshit crazy version of mark, what do you think?"

you rolled your eyes and rerouted your flight path to guardians' base. within minutes you warped right in the middle of the action.

"what the fuck..." you whispered in horror. kate and her duplicates were out, shapesmith was ripped in half—immortal was the only one still going and even he was struggling.

"nice, they sent someone else!" mark stopped immortal's punch nonchalantly with one hand, grinning down at you from where he hovered in the air. he squinted then gasped, throwing immortal to the ground.

"y/n? why would they send you?" he floated down to you, approaching you like a wild animal.

"you know me?" you stalled, eyes darting around your periphery to make sure that the others were at least alive.

"do i know you?" he laughed, figuring that was a good enough answer to your question. he circled around you with an approving hum. "aww, you playing dress up? i like this color on you—"

activating your power, your tendrils of chaos magic snaked around his body, picking him up and throwing him across the room. you flew to where he landed, lifting the debris of his prior battle telekinetically and sending the slabs of concrete crashing into his body.

your feet touched down on the ground as you walked calmly towards his fallen body squirming under the projectiles. he shot up and out of the pile of rocks with a feral grin on his face.

"holy shit. you're nothing like my y/n." he set his fists and accelerated towards you.

you stopped him with the raise of your hand. his punch stuttered in time and space as he tried his hardest to push past your power and land a good one. you ducked under him, yanking at his ankle and slamming him to the ground so hard he bounced.

"yes," he chuckled lowly, wiping the blood dripping on his chin. "yes. can i take you home with me?"

"no."

"i'll fight you for it," he stood up, rolling his neck. you cringed when you heard the cacophony of cracks that followed. "wanna fight me for it?"

"s'not gonna be much of a fight." you smiled, shifting your weight before taking off again, gaining altitude and using your power as a jet engine to collide your leg with his face.

to your shock and horror, he just stood there and took it with a smile, his body skipping across the floor like a rock over a lake .

"oh..." he grinned, sliding to a stop and licking the blood off his teeth. "oh. i love you."

you blinked in confusion, tilting your head. your body warmed as you channeled your power again, a ball of energy accumulating over your palm. "i'm... going to kill you."

"i know!" he laughed, punching his fist into his palm as he got hyped up again. "that's the best part."

"you're actually enjoying this." you meant it as a question, but there was no room for debate. this mark was 100% delighted by the fact you were trying to kill him.

mark swayed on his feet, blood dribbling from his split lip. his breathing was uneven—you couldn't tell if it was from exertion or excitement—and of course that fucking grin was still there.

"you’re so fun," he groaned, licking his teeth. "i love my y/n, but i bet they could learned a thing or two from you—"

you didn’t let him finish. with a flick of your wrist, your energy surged forward, wrapping around his throat. his words choked off into a strangled gasp as you lifted him into the air.

"i'm not them," you said, voice steady even as you watched him gasp for air.

then, with a sharp twist—you snapped his neck. his body dropped to the floor, limp. you stared for a second, waiting for any signs of movement. nothing. finally, you let out a breath and turned away.

"ugh..."

you froze and spun around. his voice was wet, choked with laughter.

"you're not making it easy to stay away from you."

MOHAWK!MARK

"the penitentiary. prison's getting ransacked."

you were at the scene within the minute, zapping into existence just to see mark with a fuckass mohawk fighting off some heroes tasked with taking him in. they were unsuccessful of course, as when you arrived they were in piles of limbs and blood on the concrete.

his eyes flickered to you, widening in recognition. "y/n..?"

you raised your eyebrow. guess he knew you, or a version of you in his world. it didn't matter to you.

he lit up and tossed a severed hand to the side. "oh, hey!" he walked towards you. "what're you doing here, babe? i know you love when i go crazy but this is a biiiiit dangerous—"

you restricted his movement, pulling him towards you with your magic. you squeezed and squeezed until you heard his breath hitch. "i'm not your y/n."

"yeah, i can see that." he crooned, feigning an impressed tone. "you got a little power now? if you wanted me close, you don't have to be rough. just ask. i'm happy with any version of you." he failed to hide his little grunt, squirming in your hold.

if your grimace was any indication of your sentiment, he didn't take it to heart. he took it as motivation. he broke through your magic, pummeling through the air towards you. unfazed, you slapped him off course with a bolt of magic. he crashed into the wall with a groan.

mark stood up, the dust and rocks falling off his back. "my y/n was a sweetheart."

"i can be sweet," you mumbled more to yourself, brows furrowing as you strategized how to finish him off quickly.

"just not for me, though." mark grinned. "i see how it is. is it the hair?"

"kinda." your eyes flickered up to his hair and you couldn't stop the little smile on your face. all you could think about was your mark with that style. it worked on him, not that you'd admit it.

you picked him up and slammed him down, picked him up and slammed him down again, over and over until he was hanging limp in the air.

satisfied, you synthesized restraints from imagination and fastened them over him. you barely climbed out of the sunken crater you carved with his body when he coughed up blood, eyes fluttering.

you pressed a finger to your ear. "cecil, send someone else to bring this guy in. i've got to get back."

"you just gonna throw me around and leave?" he scoffed, words slurring together from the beating.

"someone's gonna take you in, and you're gonna tell us everything about how you got here." you sigh and barely spare him a glance over your shoulder.

"i won't talk." he sang teasingly.

"you will."

"i'll do it maybe if you come a little closer." he egged you on, a stupid little smirk on his face. "got something real special to say to you."

"shut up."

he groaned petulantly and started to push against your magical binds.

"stay." you narrowed your eyes.

his eyes darted up to yours, staring for a moment before huffing a short laugh. he leaned back against the caved-in pavement, man-spreading and getting comfy against the slope. "yes, ma'am."

VILTRUMITE!MARK

"he's off fighting spawn. the poor guy's probably already dead."

"got it."

"watch out for this one, y/n, he's..." cecil sucked in a breath. "i dunno. full viltrumite indoctrination?"

"i can handle him." you reassured him before phasing over to the variant's location.

you watched as he ripped the hero apart, flying him into the highway below for good measure. you soared down behind him, saving all the cars that were launched from the road and setting them down at a safe distance.

mark watched as the cars were gently rescued. he turned around like he had all the time in the world and looked pained upon seeing you.

"please no." he sighed softly. "they shouldn't have sent you."

"why not?" you humored him, stepping gracefully over the rubble.

"i won't stop all this. not even for you, my love."

"i'm not your y/n..." you pursed your lips, getting a faint sense of deja vu. you felt like you said this a few times already.

"don't worry, it'll be over soon. why don't you wait all this out—"

you teleport before he can finish, reappearing behind him mid-air. a surge of energy coils around your hands as you slam a concussive blast into his back. he stumbles forward, muscles tensing from the impact.

he spun around in a flash, hand gripping your throat as he shoves you back-first into the nearest building. the collision sent shockwaves rippling through the complex, glass shattering, debris crumbling to the ground.

"cute tricks." he breathed against your ear. "this is new. but don't make me fight you."

you stabbed your fingers into his pressure points, channeling your power through his nerves. his grip faltered for a fraction of a second, enough time for you to flip, plant your feet on his chest, and kick him off you.

mark spiraled back, barely catching himself mid-air. he wipes the blood from his lip from being effectively electrocuted, chest rising and falling.

"join me," he whispered, watching you in awe. "join me. we can rule the universe together."

"the fact that you think you can ask that and get a good answer proves that you don't know me at all."

"i do."

"you don't."

"we could have everything." he floats towards you. "power. control. be reasonable, won't you?"

you phase behind him again, placing one hand on his back and charging up your energy. he tries to turn around, but you're a second faster, releasing the pent-up force directly into him. mark grimaces in pain as the blast sends him spiraling into the air, flipping and tumbling before crashing into the ground below with a deafening thud.

you crashed onto the ground, unwilling to let him have another opportunity to get up. he saves you the trouble and holds a hand up in surrender.

"i won't fight you." he says simply.

you shake your head incredulously. "it's not a choice."

"i'll come find you when this is all over." he dismissed you easily, walking off your attacks.

"what—?"

he took off at supersonic speed, leaving you in the dust.

THE SURVIVORS

"they're all hovering over mark's house."

"what?! is—"

"debbie and oliver are fine. they're safe elsewhere." cecil cut you off.

you groaned and teleported over to mark's house. unfortunately, they were in your usual spot, hovering over the roof. you hung there in the air for a split second before they all pounced on you.

"we can't all have a y/n, can we?" full mask mark exclaimed, being the first to grab you and spin away from the group with you hidden safely behind him. "i'm taking them and mom back with me."

"you lost mom and y/n?" omnimark shook his head, like a father disappointed in a child. "how can you be trusted with this one?"

you narrowed your eyes. "i'm literally right here—"

"shut the fuck up." prison mark snapped at full mask mark, pushing past omnimark and jabbed a finger at the soft one of the bunch. "i'm tired of your bitching and whining. keep mom, i guess, i don't fuckin' care. but give 'em back."

"i hate you guys." sighed omnimark.

"who said you were getting them?" unmasked mark scoffed and crossed his arms.

"no one's getting me." you broke up the fight, momentarily forgetting that they were all mass murderers just cuz they had your pretty boyfriend's face.

"yeah, cuz you'd rather settle for that stupid fucking mark from this world."

"why'd you say his name like it's a slur?" you deadpanned. "aren't you all technically mark?"

"we're getting off topic." omnimark held out a hand to calm the congregation. "for what it's worth, i have my y/n safe and sound back home—"

"oh for fuck's sake."

© invoncible

[rbdilley]

Curiosity Uncovers Untold Stories

Workshops Provide Opportunity For Grwoth What Ars You Curios Abour? Creative growth is a happier way to open opportunities for change rather than dredging through cognitive goal-setting steps. Isn’t it more entertaining to talk to your seductive cupcake than gobble it down so quickly that you pretend you didn’t eat it? In the May 13th workshop, we will continue to explore the art of…

[boyczar]

[nezuscribe]

part one

you could admit, to some degree, that you knew the danger you were putting yourself into volunteering to become one of the realm's seven holy knights.

but the dangers were something you've grown accustomed to not caring much about.

you knew from an early age that there weren't many paths for noble women. it was either become wives, mothers, widows, or in lucky cases, spinsters. you realized early on that this would be the most terrifying outcome you could think of. so you begged, pleaded, sobbed, and begged even more until your father allowed you to learn how to fight, how to hold a sword and bow properly.

the years bled together, and sooner or later you found yourself with quite a reputation following your wake; a faceless knight who nobody had ever heard of.

you were able to earn a spot as one of the seven holy knights, protectors of the crown and its livelihood. you were lucky that it was in the code of honor not to reveal one's face, as it was unheard of in its centuries of existence to have a lady fighter, but you had slipped up a couple of times, almost revealing your true nature.

thankfully, all the other men were oafs and couldn't tell if you took your helmet off and revealed your face outright.

for a few motnhs you seemed to go undetected. or so you fooled yourself into believing.

the younger prince, gojo satoru, had a knack for busying himself with the lives of the knights. he often trained with you all in the daytime, hanging around during the night as he skipped dinner with his family to eat with you all.

and although you were careful enough not to talk or even lift up the bottom half of your helmet to eat something, it felt like his eyes were always on you.

it also didn't help that you kept besting him in almost every practice. sword fighting, arrow shooting, hunting, anything you could think of, and suddenly the prince, who was revered for his knight-like abilities, was paling in compassion to you.

so perhaps it was your paranoia or your inability to read people's thoughts, but somewhere deep inside, you had a sneaking suspicion he was onto you.

gojo always singled you out in conversations, trying to hear more than a grunt or a nod. all the other men had given up, but gojo persevered, needing to know who was lying underneath all that armor.

"do you enjoy the countryside?" he asked one day, following you around after everybody had hung up their bows, the two of you the only ones left in the courtyard.

you roll your eyes in annoyance, sighing deeply through your nose as you nod once.

"say, the way you hold your bow is reminiscent of some ocean tribes. have you lived there? near the ocean?" gojo crowds around you, watching intently as you put your bow on its hook, watching from the corner of your eyes, seeing the way his smile was eerily deceptive, something cold and hard beneath his cheerful demeanor.

you grunt, not giving a definitive answer.

gojo felt his lips twitching, fists balling at the fact that you had gone on for more than four months without uttering a single word, somehow holding conversations with just two movements.

"some of the men and i were talking earlier," he starts again, and you turn around, hoping he'd get the hint to leave once you start walking towards the corridors that lead to the private quarters, "and we think we'd like to see the town nearby one of these nights."

you still, your armor clanking as the prince halts by your side. he looks down to your helmet, trying to look between the metal slits that help with your breathing.

you don't say anything, sweating bullets as you wait for him to continue.

"we would be honored to have the best swordsmen join us," gojo tries to say, his voice dipping slightly on the word "men," as he tries to gauge any reaction from you.

you blink, wondering if his blue eyes were just a gimmick and they were truly the only interesting thing about him. it's not very often you can see him this close, and you find yourself thinking that the ladies that fawn over him have never seen him panting and groaning and sweating as you hold a knife to his leather-clad chest.

you grunt once again, shaking your head in disbelief that the other knights would risk breaking their code of honor and defacing themselves just so they could get closer to the prince. a prince who isn't even in line to get the throne.

you clank through the stone halls, trying to fend him off as he matches your pace, his face slightly flushed and his cheeks pink.

"is that a yes?" he asks, staring at you as you breathe heavily, the sound echoing around your mask.

you stop at your door, your head tilted down as you shake it.

hearing his muffled shouts of confusion, you almost barricade yourself inside your room, panting heavily as you shed off your armor. You wipe at your brow bone, drenched in sweat, heart hammering wildly in your chest.

you were right. he knows your secret. and it's only a matter of time before others follow suit.

[thepersonalwords]

Renunciation is not rejecting the family but accepting the whole world as family. Renunciation is not changing the name or dress. It is changing the attitude towards life. Renunciation is not removing the hairs form the head. It is eliminating the negative thoughts from the mind. Renunciation is not running away from responsibility, doership or fruits of action but it is focusing on the fruits and actions that will bring happiness to the whole world. Renunciation is the ultimate compassion and ultimate forgiveness.

Amit Ray, Walking the Path of Compassion

[labyrinth-magic]

A couple of weeks ago I was honored to be invited to be an interviewee by a reporter at Worcester Magazine for their "Last Call" column. Here's the article based on that interview. Thank you, Meg, for a great discussion about labyrinths!

[sh4nksslvt]

A Place in a Giant’s World

After a grueling journey, you find solace in the curve of Loki's massive horn, discovering a softer side to the enigmatic giant.

yall when i tell u ds man is sooo damnn fineee~

loki x gn!reader | ONE SHOT tags: fluff, sfw, size difference, loki being a little shit, wholesome, ooc(?) a/n: this js me trying to write ffs, this is experimental and for fun only, so expect this ff cringe, and akward © dollywons for divider word count: 2.2k

masterlist | ko-fi

The sun hung low in the sky, casting a golden haze over the jagged cliffs of Elbaf. The island’s terrain was as unforgiving as its reputation, with rocky paths winding through towering forests and steep inclines that seemed to mock your stamina. At just over five feet tall, you felt like an ant trudging through a world built for giants. Your legs ached, your boots were caked in mud, and every step sent a dull throb through your calves. Hours of walking had left you teetering on the edge of collapse, and the weight of your pack seemed to grow heavier with every passing minute.

Ahead of you loomed Loki, the infamous giant prince of Elbaf, his colossal frame dominating the landscape. At sixty-seven meters tall, he was a walking mountain, his presence both awe-inspiring and intimidating. His long, magenta hair swayed in the breeze, the twin braids framing his face neatly while the rest spilled messily down his back. Bandages wrapped tightly over his eyes, giving him an air of mystery, though you’d learned by now that he didn’t need sight to navigate the world with unnerving precision. His massive steps shook the ground, yet he moved with a grace that belied his size, each stride deliberate, almost performative.

Loki’s personality was as towering as his stature. Arrogance dripped from his every word, his sharp tongue weaving taunts and clever quips with ease. He reveled in trickery, delighting in outsmarting anyone who dared cross his path. There was a cruelty to him, too—a penchant for toying with others, pushing their limits just to see how far they’d bend before breaking. Yet, in the weeks you’d traveled with him, you’d glimpsed something else beneath the surface: a flicker of compassion, rare and fleeting, like a star obscured by storm clouds.

“Keep up, little mouse,” Loki called, his deep voice rumbling like distant thunder. He didn’t turn to look at you, but you could hear the smirk in his tone. “Or do you plan to collapse and make me carry you like some fragile trinket?”

You gritted your teeth, forcing your legs to keep moving. “I’m fine,” you huffed, though your voice betrayed your exhaustion. “And I’m not that small.”

Loki chuckled, a low, resonant sound that vibrated through the air. “Oh, but you are. A speck, really. I could flick you into the next island with a twitch of my finger.”

You rolled your eyes, too tired to muster a proper retort. The banter was familiar by now, a strange rhythm you’d fallen into during your journey. You weren’t entirely sure why Loki had agreed to let you tag along—or why you’d chosen to follow a giant with a reputation for chaos. Maybe it was curiosity, or maybe it was the way his rare moments of kindness caught you off guard, like finding a warm ember in a pile of ash.

The path steepened, and you stumbled over a loose rock, catching yourself just before you faceplanted. A frustrated groan escaped your lips. Loki’s steps slowed, and for a moment, you thought he might turn back, but he only tilted his head slightly, as if listening to your struggle.

“Pathetic,” he drawled, though there was a hint of amusement in his voice. “Do humans tire so easily? Or is it just you?”

You glared at the back of his massive head. “I’ve been walking for hours, Loki. Not all of us have legs the size of trees.”

He snorted, a sound that sent a flock of birds scattering from a nearby tree. “Excuses, excuses. Perhaps I should leave you here to become bird food. They’d probably find you tastier than you look.”

Despite your exhaustion, you managed a weak laugh. “You’d miss me too much.”

Loki’s steps faltered, just for a fraction of a second, and you wondered if you’d imagined it. He didn’t respond, which was unusual. Normally, he’d fire back with some biting remark, but this time, he just kept walking, his massive hands swinging casually at his sides.

The sun dipped lower, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink. The air grew cooler, and your energy was fading fast. You’d been traveling since dawn, searching for a rumored artifact said to be hidden deep in Elbaf’s mountains. Loki had his own reasons for seeking it—something about proving his cunning to the other giants—but you suspected he was also chasing the thrill of the hunt. For you, it was a chance to see more of the world, to step out of your small life and into something grander.

But right now, grandeur was the last thing on your mind. All you wanted was to stop moving.

“Loki...” you called, your voice weaker than you’d intended. “Can we… rest? Just for a bit?”

He stopped abruptly, and you nearly collided with the back of his massive boot. He turned his head slightly, the bandages over his eyes making it impossible to read his expression. “Rest?” he repeated, as if the word was foreign to him. “You’ve barely made it halfway up this pathetic hill.”

You gestured at the steep incline ahead. “That’s not a hill. It’s a mountain, and I’m not built for this.”

Loki’s lips twitched, and you could tell he was fighting a smile. “Weak,” he muttered, but there was no real venom in it. He crouched down, the ground shaking as his knees hit the earth. Even crouched, he towered over you, his face level with the treetops. “Fine. Five minutes. Don’t expect me to coddle you.”

You didn’t have the energy to argue. Dropping your pack, you sank to the ground, leaning against a boulder. The cool stone felt like heaven against your aching back. You closed your eyes, letting out a long sigh. The sound of Loki shifting nearby was like the creaking of a ship, his massive form settling onto the ground with a low rumble.

For a few minutes, neither of you spoke. The only sounds were the rustle of leaves and the distant cry of some unknown creature. You peeked one eye open, watching Loki as he sat cross-legged, his hands resting on his knees. His head was tilted slightly, as if he were listening to the world around him. The bandages over his eyes gave him an almost serene appearance, though you knew better than to trust that illusion.

“You’re staring,” he said suddenly, his voice cutting through the silence.

You flushed, quickly looking away. “I’m not.”

“Liar.” He smirked, leaning forward slightly. “What’s so fascinating, hmm? My stunning good looks? My overwhelming charm?”

You snorted, despite yourself. “More like your overwhelming ego.”

He laughed, a genuine sound that made your chest feel oddly warm. “You wound me, little mouse. And here I thought we were becoming friends.”

“Friends?” you echoed, raising an eyebrow. “You’ve threatened to flick me into the sea at least three times today.”

“Details,” he said, waving a massive hand dismissively. “I threaten everyone. It’s part of my charm.”

You shook your head, a smile tugging at your lips. Despite his arrogance, there was something about Loki that made it hard to stay mad at him. Maybe it was the way he always seemed to know when you were struggling, even if he hid his concern behind a barrage of insults.

Your eyelids grew heavy, and you stifled a yawn. The boulder was comfortable enough, but the thought of lying down somewhere softer was tempting. Your gaze drifted to Loki’s massive form, specifically to the curved horns protruding from his head. They were enormous, each one thicker than your entire body, curling gracefully like the branches of an ancient tree. An idea sparked in your mind, born of exhaustion and a touch of delirium.

“Loki,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “Can I… try something?”

He tilted his head, the movement sending his braids swaying. “Try what? Don’t tell me you’re planning to climb me like some ambitious squirrel.”

You laughed weakly. “Not exactly. Just… trust me?”

He raised an eyebrow—or at least, you assumed he did beneath the bandages. “Trust you? That’s a bold request, coming from someone who can barely walk straight.”

“Please?” you pressed, giving him your best pleading look.

He sighed dramatically, the sound like a gust of wind. “Fine. But if you fall and break something, don’t expect me to play nursemaid.”

You stood, wobbling slightly, and approached his massive form. Up close, he was even more intimidating, his presence overwhelming in a way that made your heart race. You reached out, placing a hand on the smooth surface of his horn. It was cool to the touch, polished by years of wind and weather. The curve was gentle, almost inviting, like a natural hammock.

With a deep breath, you began to climb. It wasn’t easy—your arms trembled with fatigue, and the horn’s surface was slicker than you’d expected—but determination kept you going. Loki remained still, though you could feel his curiosity radiating like heat. After a few precarious moments, you reached the curve of his horn and settled into it, your body fitting snugly against the smooth, cool surface. It was surprisingly comfortable, the gentle slope cradling you like a bed.

“Well,” Loki said, his voice quieter than usual. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”

You grinned, letting your head rest against the horn. “It’s perfect. Like a giant hammock.”

He huffed, but there was no malice in it. “A hammock. You’ve reduced the mighty Loki, prince of Elbaf, to furniture.”

“Comfy furniture,” you corrected, closing your eyes. The exhaustion was catching up to you, and the gentle sway of Loki’s horn as he adjusted his position was oddly soothing.

For a moment, he was silent. Then, you felt a subtle change in his breathing. It slowed, becoming deep and measured, the rise and fall of his chest like the tide. You realized he was doing it on purpose, keeping his movements steady to avoid jostling you. The thought made your heart skip a beat.

“Loki?” you murmured, your voice heavy with sleep.

“Hmm?”

“Thanks”

He didn’t respond right away, and you thought he might ignore you. But then, softly, he said, “...Don’t get used to it.”

You smiled, letting the warmth of his words wrap around you like a blanket. The world faded, and you drifted into a peaceful sleep, cradled in the curve of a giant’s horn.

When you woke, the sky was dark, speckled with stars. The air was crisp, and a gentle breeze carried the scent of pine and earth. You blinked, disoriented, until you remembered where you were. Loki’s horn was still beneath you, steady and unmoving. You shifted slightly, peering over the edge to see his face.

He was awake, his head tilted slightly as if listening to the night. The bandages over his eyes glowed faintly in the moonlight, giving him an ethereal quality. His expression was unreadable, but there was a softness to it, a quiet contemplation you hadn’t seen before.

“You’re awake,” he said, his voice low. “I was beginning to think you’d sleep through the entire journey.”

You yawned, stretching carefully to avoid slipping. “How long was I out?”

“Long enough,” he replied, a hint of amusement in his tone. “You drool, by the way.”

“I do not!” you protested, though you wiped your mouth just to be sure.

He chuckled, the sound reverberating through his horn and sending a pleasant vibration through you. “Whatever you say, little mouse.”

You sat up, hugging your knees as you looked out at the starlit landscape. The mountains of Elbaf stretched endlessly before you, their peaks shrouded in mist. It was beautiful, in a wild, untamed way, and for a moment, you felt small but not insignificant. Loki’s presence grounded you, his massive form a reminder that even the smallest things could find a place in a world of giants.

“...Why do you let me stick around?” you asked suddenly, the question slipping out before you could stop it. “I’m just… me. I’m not a warrior or a genius. I slow you down.”

Loki was quiet for a long time, long enough that you thought he wouldn’t answer. Then, he spoke, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it. “You’re… persistent. Annoyingly so. And you see things others don’t.”

You frowned, unsure what he meant. “Like what?”

He tilted his head, as if choosing his words carefully. “You see me...Not the prince, not the trickster. Just… me.”

The admission caught you off guard, and you felt a warmth spread through your chest. For all his arrogance and cruelty, Loki was letting you glimpse something real, something vulnerable. It was a gift, one you didn’t take lightly.

“I think you’re more than just a trickster,” you said quietly. “You’re… complicated. And maybe a little kind, when you want to be.”

He snorted, but there was no edge to it. “Careful, little mouse. You’ll ruin my reputation.”

You laughed, the sound echoing in the quiet night. For a moment, the world felt perfect—just you, Loki, and the stars. You leaned back against his horn, content to stay there a little longer, and he didn’t protest. His breathing slowed again, steady and calm, lulling you into a sense of peace.

The artifact could wait until morning. For now, you were exactly where you wanted to be.

[em1i2a3]

What if the gang were out somewhere and Bob saw someone who reminded him of his father so he starts having a panic attack and y/n has to calm him down <3

Never Let Me Go

Pairing: Bob/Robert Reynolds/The Sentry/The Void x Thunderbolts!Fem!Reader!

Summary: On a day off, the team arranges to go to a farmers market to do a bit of R and R. But what happens when Bob has an unexpected encounter with a ghost of his past?

Warnings: Spoilers for Thunderbolts (will put this here because there is some plot from the Thunderbolts in here and some of Bob's story in here) Angst baby…Angst, Hurt/Comfort, and some fluff at the beginning. Descriptions of a panic attack, Mentions of Trauma. Bob and Reader are in an unlabeled relationship, they care deeply about one another and they are each other's comfort person they just don’t say they’re in a relationship, there are very minor discussions about sex (nothing graphic or extreme)

Author's Note: I love writing angst for Bob. The sugar puff doesn’t deserve the sadness but writing it is so simple and my brain eats it up like it’s junk food, and things fall into place so easily. Thank you for the request!! I enjoyed writing this very much, and building a backstory and everything. We love creative freedoms lol

Word Count: 5,583

Two nights before everyone’s scheduled day off, the Thunderbolts compound turned into a battleground–but not the kind with blood and broken glass.

No, this one was somehow worse.

It was filled with groaning, dramatic sighs, petty barbs, and the very serious politics of trying to plan a group outing with seven people who had wildly incompatible definitions of “fun.”

The common room buzzed with late-evening heat and lived-in clutter–dim overhead lights flickering slightly, a half-eaten bag of pretzels on the table, the low whir of the box fan doing a poor job of circulating the stale air. The couch cushions were sunken in all the wrong places. Someone had abandoned a trail of dirty socks that led ominously into the hallway like breadcrumbs. No one was taking credit.

Yelena had draped herself upside-down over the back of the couch like a melting spider, boots propped on one armrest, braid dangling down toward the floor.

“How about we don’t do another bar,” She said, idly twirling a throwing knife between two fingers. “Last time we went, I don’t even remember how I got home. And I’m positive Alexei smuggled out at least three ramekins.”

Alexei, currently half-submerged in the compound’s fridge, called out in his usual booming tone, “We didn’t have any here. Useful little things!”

Walker groaned from his claimed spot in the worn recliner, legs extended so far into the walking path that everyone had given up trying to step over them. “I’m all for anything but a cat café,” He muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Last time we did that, Alpine almost clawed my eyes out.”

Bucky, sprawled on the other end of Yelena’s couch, arms folded and expression unreadable, didn’t look up from the book in his hands. The aforementioned Alpine–elegant, pristine, and smug as ever–was nestled in his lap, purring like she owned the room.

“You sure it was because you had other cat fur on you,” Bucky said evenly, “Or because she just doesn’t like you?”

Walker rolled his eyes with the resigned aggression of a man who hadn’t experienced real peace since being assigned to this team.

“Oh, please. Like that little cotton ball has a moral compass.” As if on cue, Alpine–silent and serene just moments before–let out a sudden, loud hiss, her ears flattening dramatically. Ava snorted from her perch on the windowsill, one leg curled up beneath her as she scrolled through her tablet.

“Seems like she’s the only one of us with actual standards.”

While the rest of the team spiraled into another round of chaotic banter, you were tuned out–half-listening, half-smiling, but your attention was rooted in him.

Bob was stretched out on the far couch beneath you, lying on his stomach, shirt rumpled and ridden halfway up his back from where your hands had worked their way under the soft fabric. One of his arms was folded under him to cushion his face, while the other reached lazily backward–his hand resting on your calf, thumb rubbing idle, slow strokes over your bare skin like he couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t sexual to either of you. It was instinctive, he just needed some part of him touching some part of you to stay grounded, that’s how it had been since the beginning of your friendship and it led into your odd romantic relationship as well.

You were perched on his lower back, straddling him comfortably, your knees braced on either side of his hips as you worked at the tense knots nestled deep in his shoulder blades and neck. The heat of summer lingered in the room, making everything feel a little slow, a little hazy, and super super hot. Bob’s skin was warm under your palms, and the muscles beneath flexed subtly with every careful dig of your fingers, trying to protest the intrusion.

Bob had come to you earlier that day–sheepishly, voice low–as if you hadn’t touched him a hundred times before.

”G-Got a spot I can’t really shake,” He murmured hand drifting to his shoulder, “Kind o-of feels like someone stuffed glass i-in there.” You’d been hunched over your laptop trying to finish your mission report, but without hesitation you immediately responded.

”Give me ‘till tonight,” You said, “I’ll work them out for you.” And you always kept your word with him no matter how chaotic your life got, because here you were–on top of him, pressing out tension filled knots caused by months of stress, uncomfortable nights on the couch, and bad posture.

He groaned loudly as your thumb found another tight point near the base of his neck.

”O-Oh god–yeah right there–w-what is that?!” You leaned down, mouth close to his ear, your voice dropping to a teasing whisper as your fingers kneaded deeper into the knot.

“It’s from you being curled up on this damn couch all the time,” You murmured, letting your teeth graze the slope of his shoulder before giving him a soft, playful bite right where the muscle dipped, where you had left a mark two nights before.

Bob let out a surprised noise–half a laugh, half a groan–and his grip on your calf tightened slightly. “You bite me, t-then go straight back to causing me unbearable pain, you can’t be giving me these mixed s-signals.” You smirked at this comment.

“I don’t make the rules,” You said sweetly, pressing your thumb into the lump again. “I just remove the knots.” He let out another groan, louder this time–squirming under you like he was trying to make some sort of escape from the sensation of you digging your fingers into the coiled lump.

“Does the sadist and her little masochist have any opinions on what to do for our day off?” Ava called dryly from the windowsill, without even looking up from her tablet. “Or should we give you a safe word and circle back?”

Yelena choked on her water.

You didn’t miss a beat. “It’s ’hot lava,’ if anyone’s asking.”

Bob snorted weakly into the cushion, his voice muffled but amused. “I thought i-it was you who suggested that l-last time.”

“Only because you got too cocky with the hot stones and almost passed out. I told you they would be too hot for your skin and you’d get all sweaty.”

“That was one time,” He mumbled. “And I was fine.”

“Fine doesn’t come with tunnel vision and almost putting your head through a wall…’”

“I hate both of you,” Walker grumbled from the recliner, dramatically swinging a leg off the armrest to sit up. “Can we please pick something before I throw myself out a window?”

“Promise you will?” Ava murmured.

“I think we’re all just a little too warm for rational thinking,” Bucky muttered, reaching up to gently scratch Alpine’s ear as she blinked lazily at the chaos. “We should do something low effort that we don’t have to put a lot of thought into.”

Alexei perked up from the kitchen where he was still chewing through what had to be his fourth slice of cold leftover pizza. “How do we feel about outdoors? I could go for rollercoaster ride. Or smoothie. Something festive!”

Ava finally held up her tablet. “There’s a farmers market across town. Live music. Local vendors. Fresh produce, kettle corn, homemade baked goods. Says there’s a guy who does wood-burned art and fireblowing.”

There was a moment of silence.

“I could go for some homemade pie,” You said, half to yourself, still working your fingers gently through the muscle beneath your hands. Bob twitched a little when you brushed against a sore spot, but didn’t flinch away.

“Mmh,” He hummed, shifting beneath you with a drowsy sigh. “If you’re going, I-I guess I’m in too…”

You glanced down at him, an amused curve lifting your lips.

“Yeah?”

He nodded against the cushion, his voice muffled but sure. “We’re a p-packaged deal, after all…Don’t l-like going anywhere without you.”

You smiled, feeling your cheeks heat up slightly.

And then–with surgical precision–you pressed down on the knot you’d been circling, just a little deeper. Bob let out a startled, half-choked yelp, his back arching under you before he sank back into the couch with a whimper.

“I was hoping my c-compliment would stop y-you from doing that.” He groaned, as you let out a small laugh.

“Then it’s set! Farmer’s Market it is.” Ava announced.

——————

Two mornings later you found yourself in your room as the sun rose—half dressed, half awake, thumbing through your closet like your brain hadn’t quite caught up to your body.

Sunlight filtered in through the slats of your blinds, striping the hardwood floor in long, amber bars and cutting soft golden edges along your furniture. The light glowed against the rumpled sheets on your bed, warmed the metal frames stacked against the wall, kissed the edge of the mirror you hadn’t quite cleaned. The air still held the hush of early morning. No shouting yet. No Alexei slamming cabinet doors like he was chasing down enemy intel. No scent of Walker’s industrial-strength coffee-sludge. The whole place felt like it was holding its breath.

The rest of the team was still asleep–or pretending to be–but you and Bob had been up since just before five.

It hadn’t been loud, the way he woke. There was no scream, no flailing, no sheets twisted in panic. Just a sound–a single, sharp gasp. Like his lungs had suddenly remembered they were supposed to be working.

You’d jolted upright before he even spoke, your hand already reaching for him.

He wasn’t panicking. But the way he laid there with his chest rising and falling in quick, greedy pulls, told you everything you needed to know. His eyes weren’t wide with fear–just vacant. Like something had pulled him under, and the shore was still a little too far off.

So you didn’t ask.

You just shifted closer, let your hand curl gently into the hem of his shirt, and breathed with him until the rhythm returned to something human again.

When he could finally speak, his voice rasped against the pillow: “I think I’m up for good.”

So were you.

You’d shared a bed most nights since the early weeks of the Thunderbolts forming–before anyone knew what to do with Bob. Back when he couldn’t stand the idea of being alone and you hadn’t yet admitted how much you needed someone to need you. It had happened gradually–shared exhaustion turning into silent rituals. He never asked. He just showed up, and you let him in. That had been the way he communicated everything he needed.

He only ever slept in his own bed when he wasn’t feeling well–emotionally, physically, psychically. And when that happened, no matter how gently you protested, he always said the same thing: “I don’t want to hurt you.”

He never had.

But you understood. You always did.

So this morning, when he pulled away after the nightmare, you let him. You watched him leave quietly, silhouetted by the hallway light, and whispered “Okay” to the empty air after him.

And now, you were here, scanning your closet, still thinking about the way his breathing had sounded—too loud in the silence, like someone had pulled him from deep water.

The knock came softly. Just three taps.

“Hey,” Bob’s voice came from the other side of the door–low, rough with sleep. “Y-You decent?” You padded over from the closet, lips quirking at the way he still asked for permission to come inside the room.

”It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked, Bob,” You said, twisting the doorknob, “We’re way past the point of asking if I’m decent.” When you opened the door, his ears were already pink.

He stood there in a loose, heather-gray t-shirt that clung faintly to his chest from where he hadn’t fully towel-dried, and a pair of soft navy joggers that hung low on his hips. His feet were bare, hair still slightly damp at the ends, curling around his ears and brushing his jaw. It had grown a lot since you first met him–past his collar now, lighter at the tips from all the sun lately. He looked sleepy, and a little shy, and like something beautiful that had just barely survived the night.

In his hand, he held a single black hair tie looped loosely around two fingers.

You stepped aside, sweeping a hand toward the room in invitation. “Come on in.”

He entered quietly, the door clicking shut behind him, and his eyes drifted around like he hadn’t really seen your room in daylight before—even though he’d spent more mornings here than anywhere else in the world. It was familiar, yet it still made him nervous in the smallest ways, like your presence still overwhelmed him just a little. Like he couldn’t believe you kept letting him in.

He turned to you, holding up the tie.

“C-Could you…?” He asked, hesitating slightly. “You always…Y-You do it better than I can.”

You smiled—soft, fond. “Of course.”

He didn’t need any more prompting. Bob crossed to the foot of your bed and sat down on the floor, like it was his spot–like he belonged there. You sat behind him on the edge of the mattress and let your fingers ease through his hair–combing it gently, smoothing it back from his temples, parting it the way you knew he liked. It was soft, a little tangled at the ends, still warm from the shower. You moved with care, as if you were touching something breakable.

“You’re gonna need a trim soon, got some split ends.” You murmured, running your thumbs behind his ears.

“I like it long,” He said quietly, voice reverberating through the hush like it didn’t want to disturb the peace. “Y-You like it too.”

“Mmm. I do,” You admitted, smiling as you gathered the top portion into your palm. “Especially when you let me braid it.”

“That was once.”

“And you looked hot.”

He ducked his head with a flustered breath that almost passed for a laugh, “Y-You just say that so you can make m-me blush.” You didn’t answer that—just wrapped the tie once, twice, and secured the knot neatly at the back of his head, a soft half-up twist with the front strands falling just the way he liked.

He reached back, fingertips brushing the base of the tie, testing the tension.

“…Perfect,” he whispered. Then, quieter still: “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

You paused.

Your hand was still on his hair, your other braced against the mattress. The warmth of his body radiated through the space between you, and when he tilted his head slightly–craning his neck to look up at you–it hit you again, just how much of your heart this man held without even trying.

You leaned forward without a word and kissed his forehead.

It wasn’t romantic.

It wasn’t not romantic either.

It just…Was.

Soft. Slow. Steady. Your lips pressed right against the crease above his brow, where his worry lines always gathered, where the night had lingered like a bruise.

He exhaled through his nose, leaning into it like he was trying to memorize the moment. Like it was the only thing keeping him here.

“I’m right here,” You murmured, thumb brushing behind his ear. “Always.”

Bob swallowed, then reached up–fingertips barely grazing your knee. “W-We should get dressed,” He said softly, not quite moving. “Before Alexei starts a s-small kitchen fire trying to make pancakes again.”

You smiled faintly. “Good point. We’ll tag-team the fire extinguisher if we have to.”

He turned just enough to glance over his shoulder. “P-Partner system?”

“You know it.”

——————

After breakfast–which was somehow miraculously fire-free, though only because Bob caught Alexei trying to flip pancakes with a chef’s knife–everyone eventually piled into the SUV like clowns in a circus car. Bucky had claimed the driver’s seat with a resigned kind of authority, while Yelena took the passenger seat, sunglasses already perched high on her head

Alexei and Ava were wedged into the middle row behind them, their usual brand of bickering already in full swing before Bucky had even started the car. Something about what counted as an appropriate booth at a farmers market.

You ended up squished into the very back row–one of the fold-out benches, technically meant for three, but realistically comfortable for maybe one and a half. Bob had climbed in after you without hesitation, knees bumping yours, and Walker–who drew the short straw after loudly insisting he “didn’t have enough leg room and should technically be at the front”–ended up next to you, with his arms folded and his head against the window.

This left you pinned between Bob’s warmth on one side and Walker’s long-limbed discomfort on the other, with nowhere to stretch his legs. You wouldn’t have minded normally–but the heat was already starting to build, and the SUV’s AC unit definitely didn’t sound promising to you.

Bob, as always, had found you without needing to ask. His hand was resting gently on your thigh, fingers curled softly into the hem of your shorts, not possessive, it was just to know you were there. His thumb brushed back and forth in slow, rhythmic strokes just above your knee, and you didn’t say anything about it. You never did.

He was wearing a pale blue t-shirt now, cotton thin and a little too big, sleeves hugging the curve of his biceps, his tied-back hair still damp at the tips where it clung to the back of his neck. He smelled faintly of cedar soap and laundry detergent, and the lingering trace of your shampoo from the bottle he sometimes used without asking.

Walker huffed beside you, shifting his elbow dramatically. “If either of you start making out back here, I’m tucking and rolling out of this moving vehicle.”

Bob blinked, innocent and mild as ever. “W-We weren’t–”

“You will, though,” Walker muttered. “I can already feel the sexual tension radiating off you like a goddamn space heater.”

“Can’t blame them,” Yelena called from the front, twisting around just enough to shoot you a knowing look over her sunglasses. “At least someone’s getting laid.”

“We’re not having sex,” You said flatly, eyes fixed on the fraying seat fabric beneath your thumb. You weren’t lying when you said it. Both you and Bob had your own reservations about the whole act itself, but it didn’t mean neither of you had your moments of wanting to do it then getting scared to ask. Nothing in the compound was a secret so exposing that to the group wasn’t really a big deal…Or so you thought.

The comment earned a beat of silence–just long enough for everyone to register how serious your voice was–before Ava spoke up.

“…That’s worse,” She said, blinking. “You mean all that flirting and massages haven’t gone anywhere?” Bob’s ears turned a shade of red so deep it looked biblical.

You didn’t flinch. “No. Not yet. We do other things,” You said pointedly, still not looking at anyone. “We’re just…Taking our time.”

“‘Other things,’” Yelena repeated, raising both eyebrows. “So you’re edging yourselves now?”

“Okay–nope,” Bucky snapped from the front seat, his grip tightening on the wheel. “We are not doing this. I don’t want to hear the word ‘edging’ in here for the rest of the car ride please.”

“Sorry,” Yelena muttered, not sounding sorry at all. “Didn’t mean to scare Grandpa.”

“You do realize this means the tension is worse than we thought, right?” Ava added, adjusting her sunglasses without looking up from her phone. “You’re not sleeping together yet, but you’re still all over each other like a pair of Victorian lovers with a shared brain cell and a strict no-penetration clause? That sounds like psychological warfare.”

Walker groaned and slumped deeper into the seat. “Honestly, it sounds like a Cold War for sex.”

“P-Please don’t encourage that line of thinking,” Bob murmured weakly, looking like he wanted to disappear into the upholstery.

“Can we talk about this when we’re out of the car so I can make an escape at least?” Bucky muttered, signaling with more force than necessary before changing lanes.

You exhaled, closing your eyes for a moment. The heat of the van. The smell of sunblock and leather and too many bodies. Bob’s thumb–slow, steady–brushing along the inside of your thigh like it was the only thing grounding him. You felt him shift slightly, his shoulder brushing yours as he leaned closer. His voice was low, meant only for you.

“Y-You okay?”

You turned toward him slowly, met his gaze. Soft, steady, still a little fogged from the early morning–but so achingly present. Like he never really looked at anything else when you were in the room.

You nodded once. “Yeah,” You said, quiet as the hum of tires on the road. “Just thinking.”

He didn’t ask what about. He just squeezed your leg gently, his palm warm against your skin, and looked out the window like the worst of the day was already behind you.

The SUV kept rolling–toward sun and stalls and small-town charm–and you tried to breathe past the flutter in your chest.

Because you felt that something was off in the air, you just couldn’t put your finger on it.

——————

The farmers market sat at the edge of town like something out of a picture book–sunlight caught in cloth-draped canopies, booths lined with jam jars and hand-poured candles, the air scented with kettle corn, grilled peaches, and the distant trace of burning sage. People moved in lazy loops past flower stalls and chalkboard signs, kids with balloon animals weaved through legs, and a folk band played off to the side under a vine-covered gazebo.

You stepped out of the SUV, blinking against the brightness, the warmth of the pavement radiating up through the soles of your sneakers. Bob was right beside you, stretching once with a soft grunt, hair tied neatly back, putting on a pair of sunglasses that hung low on his nose. You didn’t even have to reach for him–his hand found yours naturally, fingers curling between yours like it was the easiest thing in the world.

The others peeled off in separate directions almost immediately–Alexei making a beeline toward the smell of roasted nuts, Ava dragging Walker to a pottery booth under protest, and Bucky already halfway to the honey stand, which was conveniently located near one of the coffee tents, with Yelena following close behind, with a shout of “I’ll be back if I get bored!”

Bob stayed with you.

You walked side by side, fingers linked, your shoulder brushing his with every step. It was light between you–breezy, easy, with the kind of soft comfort you’d built slowly over time like a house made of quiet affirmations and gentle touches.

At a booth shaded by a white parasol, Bob picked up a toothpick sample of fresh mozzarella and sun-dried tomato, his eyes flicking to you like he was offering you it instead of him, and you shook your head, watching as he immediately popped the little stack into his mouth, slowly biting down on it like he was worried he may not like the taste. His facial expressions were unreadable to you.

“Is it good?” You asked, nudging him with your hip as he chewed.

He nodded, then grabbed a second one for you, a small pleased smile playing on his lips. “M-Maybe too good. W-We might have to come back.”

You grinned, leaning in to bite it off the toothpick, your fingers brushing his. He was right in the fact that it was indeed too good, even for just a little bit of mozzarella and sun-dried tomato. “We definitely have to come back.”

There were fresh apples dipped in honey, a booth with carved soap that smelled like lavender and woodsmoke, a ceramic artist who pressed your hands into clay to make little thumb-heart tokens. Bob pocketed the one with your prints on it without a word.

And then the shift happened, the one that you were expecting from the beginning of the car ride.

It came all at once–subtle, but immediate if you knew what to look for. Bob stopped mid-step beside the stall with the pressed flower jewelry. His hand slipped from yours. His shoulders stiffened like someone had tugged a wire tight inside him. You turned to ask what was wrong–and followed his line of sight, laying eyes on what he was looking at.

The man was tall. Broad-shouldered. His white shirt was tucked into a pair of work-worn jeans, and his arms were tanned from years in the sun. His hair was cut short and neat, parted sharply to the side. And the mustache–thin, severe, like it had been trimmed with a ruler–made your blood go cold.

He was laughing at something the vendor said, shaking a paper bag open. Just a man. Just a stranger.

But to Bob, he was not, and you didn’t have to guess where his mind was going.

You’d seen that face once before–through the dim gray light of a memory that didn’t belong to you, in a space that pulsed like a wound. You’d seen that man through Bob’s eyes.

You’d been caught in one of his shame rooms with him. Not just as a witness–but trapped. Both of you pulled under by the twisting, coiled maze of Bob’s worst fears and guilt. It had taken hours to find a way out–at least it had felt like hours. You’d fought alongside him against illusions that clawed and mocked and whispered. And when you’d finally made it to the attic of his childhood home, where the air didn’t taste like blood and grief, he’d collapsed beside you like his bones had given out.

You remembered the stillness. The way he fixed your hair with shaking fingers. How he apologized–not for dragging you into his trauma, but just…For being like this. For not being able to protect you from what lived in his head.

You’d caught his chin, tilted his face up with a hand soft as a promise.

“Don’t apologize to me, Bob,” you’d whispered. “You’re the one who went through that. And you didn’t deserve a single thing that happened to you… You were just a kid.”

He’d cried. Silently, terribly, eyes shining like shattered glass. You wiped them away with your sleeve and pulled him against your chest, holding him like you could stitch the pieces back together just by keeping him close.

That was when Yelena had found you both, crouched in the attic like kids hiding from a thunderstorm.

Now, standing in the golden light of the farmers market, you saw the exact moment the past cracked through Bob’s present.

His chest rose too fast, too sharp. The edge of a panic attack wasn’t always violent with Bob. It was quiet. Internal. A collapsing spiral. And you could see it now—the way his eyes were locked on the man across the market, not blinking, like if he looked away for even a second the world might split open beneath him.

You stepped closer, slow but firm. “Bob,” you whispered. “Look at me. Just me.”

He didn’t move. His lips parted like he might say something, but no sound came out. His shoulders trembled. You saw the way his hands curled into fists at his sides—tight enough his knuckles were pale, as if his body was bracing for something that hadn’t hit yet.

And then you saw it. The first shudder in his breath.

You reached for him. “Come with me,” You murmured, and gently–without tugging–you touched his wrist. “We’re gonna move, okay? Just here. Just around the corner. You’re safe. You’re safe.”

Somehow, he followed. Wooden, barely lifting his feet off the ground, he let you guide him past the flower stall and behind a canvas tent stacked with baskets of late summer peaches. There was a quiet pocket of shade there, near a fold-out chair and an old milk crate someone had turned into a makeshift stand. The noise of the market faded just enough for you to hear the sound of Bob’s breathing–fast. Frantic. Hitching like he was fighting against his own lungs.

He dropped into a crouch the second you stopped, like his body couldn’t take the weight of standing anymore. His hands clawed into his hair, dragging back against the tied strands, and his whole frame bowed in like he was trying to fold in on himself and disappear.

“Bob,” You said, dropping to your knees in front of him, voice steady despite the panic clawing at your own chest. “I’m right here. I’ve got you. You’re not alone.”

His eyes were wide, glassy with unshed tears, chest heaving. “I–I can’t–” His breath caught like he’d swallowed broken glass. “I can’t—get—air—”

“Yes, you can. You can, just follow me, okay? Just follow me.” You reached out and cupped one of his fists–clenched so tight it trembled–and gently started to peel his fingers apart, one by one.

“Easy,” You whispered. “ Give me your hand.” When his palm was open, you pressed it flat against your chest–right over your heart, where it pulsed at a normal pace against touch.

“Feel that? That’s me. That’s real. I’m here. You’re here. We’re not back there.”You took his other hand next, gently, carefully, and placed it flat against his own chest. “Now match me. Just match me, okay?” Bob choked on a breath, sharp and wet, like he was trying to breathe through water. His heart was pounding wild and disoriented–like it was trying to break out of his body.

“I can’t–” He rasped again, and his voice cracked so violently on the last word that tears spilled from the corners of his eyes.

“You can,” You said, firm but soft. “Just one breath. Just one. In through your nose, nice and slow, okay? Just copy me. That’s all you have to do.” You exaggerated your own breath for him–deep, steady, slow. One hand guiding his against your heartbeat, the other pressing gently into his own chest. “Come on, Bob. In.” You watched his shoulders rise shakily.

”Good. Now hold for one, two, three…” You could see tears welling in the corners of his eyes.

“Now let it out.” You instructed. He shook violently as he exhaled, his hands twitching under your palms. You did it again. And again. Coaching him through each one. Repeating it like a litany.

“You’re doing so good Bob…You’re safe, you’re not back there, he’s not here, and he can’t hurt you…You’re not alone…I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.”

Eventually, his breath started to sync with yours, and his heartbeat began to ease slightly. Some inhales were a bit shaky and hitched, but it was still an improvement. You watched the color slowly return to his face, the tension bleeding out of his shoulders in uneven jerks. His fingers clenched reflexively into the fabric of your shirt, right over your heart, like he didn’t trust it to keep beating if he didn’t hold onto it.

His head dropped. His forehead pressed into your shoulder. And the dam broke.

Silent, shaking sobs wracked his chest—like everything he’d held in since that attic was clawing its way out now. You wrapped your arms around him, cradling the back of his head, letting him bury his face into your collar as his tears soaked into your tank top.

“I’m right here,” You whispered again, rocking him gently. “You’re okay.”

He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. But you felt his arms come up–slow, hesitant–and wrap around you, clutching you like you were the only thing anchoring him to the present.

You stayed like that until the worst of it passed.

Until his breathing settled.

Until his hands stopped shaking.

Until the world tilted back into something resembling solid ground.

And when he finally lifted his head, eyes red and puffy, lips parted with the remnants of a thousand unsaid things–you just brushed his hair back from his damp forehead and kissed it once, like you had that morning, before giving him a small kiss on the lips.

Steady. Soft. A reminder that he was here with you and you weren’t going anywhere.

You stayed with him in the silence, until the panic ebbed like a tide pulling back from the shore.

[sunseed-fandump]

In bad batch, do you think the fact that the trio being more blunt and harsh towards PV would have an impact on what tarot cards are displayed or represent?

“Oh no, this must be some kind of sick joke! There’s no way someone could be THIS unlucky!”

Wild Strawberry Cookie as VIII – Strength, upright.

Upright: courage, confidence, compassion, self-confidence, inner power

Reversed: self-doubt, weakness, low confidence, inadequacy, cowardice

“When you get the Strength card in an upright manner during your tarot reading, then it shows that you have inner strength and fortitude during moments of danger and distress. It shows that you have the ability to remain calm and strong even when your life is going through immense struggle. It also shows that you are a compassionate person and you always have time for other people even if it's at your own expense…

Getting the strength card means that you are a very patient individual who is likely to accomplish anything that they put their mind to. Your resilience will greatly aid you, and your fearlessness means that you should have no issues speaking your mind. This card also indicates this kind of compassion will always be rewarded with having a lot of stability in your life either presently on in the near future.”

Wizard Cookie as IX – The Hermit, upright.

Upright: self-reflection, introspection, contemplation, withdrawal, solitude, search for self

Reversed: loneliness, isolation, recluse, being anti-social, rejection

“The Hermit is a seeker for the knowledge that comes from within. A lonely wanderer in the path of the night, he searches for that which can only be gained with long periods of solitude - the inner voice. To hear it, he must disconnect from the crowds whose voices and desires threaten to overcome his own. He walks through the dark night of his unconscious, guided only by the low light of the northern star, with his destination being his home, his self.

You are currently contemplating that you need to be alone. Never be afraid to take this chance to reflect, as it could help you clear your mind of all the clutter that comes with everyday life. The Hermit may also refer to your effort in taking action that is authentic and aligned with your true self. You are perhaps searching your inner soul for guidance on what is right, and where your next steps are to be.”

Gingerbrave as XIII – Death, upright.

Upright: transformation, endings, change, transition, letting go, release

Reversed: fear of change, repeating negative patterns, resisting change, stagnancy, decay

“Death is one of the most feared cards in a Tarot Deck, and it is very misunderstood. Many people avoid mentioning this card because it has that much power. Most times, people take the name of the card literally. However, the real meaning within the Death card is one of the most positive in the whole deck.

The Death card signals that one major phase in your life is ending, and a new one is going to start. You just need to close one door, so the new one will open. The past needs to be placed behind you, so you can focus your energy on what is ahead of you.

Another meaning is that you are going to go through a major change, transition, or transformation. The old version of you needs to ‘die’ to allow the new you to be created. This can be a scary time for you because you may be unsure of what will happen in the future. Even if you are scared, you should welcome the change because you are opening the door to new life events.”

(Blank PNG template under the cut if you guys wanna make your own SM tarot cards! :D)

Have fun!!!

[lilliankoo]

play you like a game, boy || chapter 2.

🗡️ antagonist jungkook x princess reader

trope: "he's mean to everyone but worships the ground you walk on", will absolutely do anything for you, strangers to lovers.

word count: 2.1k

chapter 1 chapter 3

synopsis: he looks like an angel but is a devil- well that's what your kingdom thinks. he is also the blessed leader of tribe "lav"; even a leaf cannot move without his permission but here he was in-front of you on his knees. while the whole tribe bows to him- he only bows to you. now, there are two paths presented to you- marry him & return his love or refuse & watch him conquer your father's kingdom. power is an evil yet a tempting apple-and now its in your hands- are you going to take a bite; taste the sweet poison or will you use it to tempt others? its an evil world with evil options.. do you think you can handle him?

chapter warnings: mention of blood, machete. rituals, mentions of sacrifices, kissing, possessive jungkook, slightly jealous jungkook, simp jungkook, calling the reader “mother”.

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You are confused, and so are your parents. You can tell by the way they both look at you, then at Jungkook.

"Ritual?" your father asks, his voice filled with uncertainty.

Jungkook gives a slight smile, looking around, and you can't quite read the expression on his face. Whatever is going on inside his mind, you're sure it's not good. He sighs and takes a few steps back.

"Here in Lav, we don't believe in marriages. We perform a soul-tying ritual," he says.

The words sound foreign, almost alien to your ears. Your brows furrow instinctively, a wave of confusion washing over you. You’re too scared to look at your parents right now. You glance at Jungkook instead, noticing the way his eyes seem to drink you in—too much adoration, compassion, care... love. Your mother had been right; Jungkook is indeed in love with you.

You gulp, trying to steady your racing heart, and look at your father, standing next to you. He meets your gaze and, without a word, intertwines his hand with yours. You find solace in the familiar gesture. Growing up, you’d always been closer to your father than your mother, but what you don’t notice is the way Jungkook’s jaw clenches, the silent fury in his gaze as he looks at your father.

Jungkook clears his throat, his tone soft but firm as he extends his hand toward you. “Come,” he murmurs.

You hesitate, unsure of what to do. But your father squeezes your hand in reassurance. It’s unspoken, but you understand the message: don’t ruin this. Slowly, you take Jungkook’s hand and follow him up the stairs toward the platform. He leads you to stand in front of two chairs, centered on the stage, while your parents stand by the side with the villagers.

You turn back to glance at them when, suddenly, an elderly man approaches, draping a large mantle made of fur and leather over your shoulders. As he does, he mutters a prayer in a language you don't understand. The mantle is identical to Jungkook's, except for one difference—his mantle bears a tiger’s head perched on top. The sight unsettles you, but you try not to dwell on it.

At the stage with you and Jungkook, besides the old man, stand two women and the man who brought you here earlier. One of the women, dressed in brown leather, steps forward, smiling warmly. She speaks to Jungkook, and he nods. He motions for you to sit. You comply, but the tight corset and heavy mantle make it difficult. You try to fold the dress by your feet, but the corset gives you little room to move.

Without hesitation, Jungkook kneels before you, adjusting your dress with surprising tenderness. A strange, unfamiliar sensation tugs at your chest. As he does so, you notice the shocked expressions of the onlookers—the elderly man’s mouth hangs open, the women exchange bewildered glances, and the crowd murmurs amongst themselves. Your parents stand frozen, your father’s mouth agape while your mother wears a knowing smirk, her eyes gleaming with the unspoken words: “I told you.”

"Is it okay?" Jungkook’s voice pulls you from your trance, and you nod absentmindedly. His smile returns, a faint glimmer of satisfaction in his eyes, before he stands, sitting back in his chair.

As time passes, preparations for the ritual continue. Everything happening around you feels utterly foreign. A man drums in the corner, another blows into a shell-like instrument, and yet another makes guttural, animal-like sounds. It’s all too much for your senses.

A sharp, shrill noise cuts through the chaos, and your eyes are drawn to a pair of goats, tied to a post in the corner. You can’t shake the growing suspicion that they are here to be sacrificed. A chill runs down your spine at the thought.

As you survey the scene, another woman approaches with a bowl. From your sitting position, you can’t see the contents, but when she dips her fingers into the bowl and reaches for your face, you instinctively lean back. She steps back, waiting for Jungkook’s cue.

He exchanges a few words with her in their native language, then turns to you. “You don’t have to be scared. This is just fuller’s earth clay mixed with rosewater and coconut oil. It’s necessary, a vital part of the ritual.”

His voice is calm, almost too sweet, and for a moment, you doubt his intentions. He gestures to the woman, who begins applying the clay to his throat, drawing a half-moon symbol on his forehead and two parallel lines on his jaw. Once she finishes, she turns to you, and again you recoil.

But this time, you have a plan.

“I want you to apply it,” you say softly, a hint of challenge in your voice.

Jungkook’s eyes widened in surprise. The old man, who had draped your mantle, clears his throat and steps forward, perhaps to interject. From what you can gather, Jungkook isn’t supposed to do this. The man speaks, but Jungkook raises a hand, silencing him without even looking in his direction.

With a smile, Jungkook turns to you and nods. The crowd gasps as he cradles your face in his hands, his fingers gently applying the clay, mirroring the symbols on his own face. He tilts your head from side to side, admiring his work, and when his gaze locks with yours, he murmurs, “Pretty.”

Anger rises in you, burning hot. This wasn’t the way you wanted him to act. The ritual, his control, it’s all too much. You feel your jaw clench, your eyes sting with frustration. But you hold it in.

The ritual continues for a while longer, with more strange and uncomfortable actions. You wear a crown-like headband made of peacock feathers, bracelets, threads, and bangles are tied to your wrists, and you’re made to recite several prayers.

Finally, the old man steps forward once more, nodding toward Jungkook.

“The ritual is complete,” the man says. “But one thing remains. To seal it fully, there is still one step left.”

Jungkook turned to you and gently intertwined his hands with yours, making you stand. You both descend the few steps toward the post, but just before you reach it, Jungkook diverts your path toward your parents.

For the first time, your father smiles at you. Your mother, though, looks more relieved than anything. Just as you’re about to embrace them, Jungkook steps in front of you, pulling your father into a hug instead.

“Congratulations,” Jungkook says, his voice sincere.

Your mother echoes the sentiment.

“We would love to have you both stay, but the next ritual is only for the people of Lav,” Jungkook says, his gaze turning to your father. “The carriage is ready.” He gestures toward the vehicle in the distance.

A wave of dread washes over you as your father nods, though he quickly asks if they can speak with you privately. Jungkook denies the request, telling him to say whatever he wants in front of him.

“Take care. May the gods be with you,” your father says softly, caressing your head.

“You’ll be fine here, my baby. Jungkook will keep you safe,” your mother says, her eyes fixed on him.

The weight of their departure hits you like a ton of bricks. Tears slip down your face, and you throw your arms around your parents, desperate not to let go.

“I want to go with you,” you plead, but before your father can respond, Jungkook steps forward.

“You cannot,” he says, his voice low and firm.

Rage flares up inside you, and suddenly everything feels too tight. The mantle, the crown, the bracelets—all feel suffocating. You try to pull at them desperately, your jaw clenched, tears streaming down your face. Jungkook grabs your arms to steady you, forcing you to meet his gaze.

For the first time today, you see the real Jungkook. His brows are furrowed, his jaw clenched, and the love that once seemed to soften him is gone. “You are my woman now,” he breathes, his voice low and serious. “You are the mother of this forest and these people. If you leave, everyone will die—including the forest, the people, and me. We are tied to you.”

His words strike you silent. You stare at him, searching for something—anything—that might explain this. But he says nothing more.

When he lets go of your arms, he rubs them gently as if apologizing.

—------------------------------------------------------

You watch as the carriage pulls away, your parents leaving you behind in this strange village.

“Come,” Jungkook says, his voice gentle now as he takes your hand. You follow him, the energy drained from you.

“This is the last ritual,” Jungkook whispers in your ear. “After this, we will be each other’s forever.”

His words send a shiver through your spine. The thought of living here as his "wife" does not sit well with you.

“What will happen?” you ask quietly, your heart pounding.

Jungkook doesn’t respond immediately. He takes a deep breath and squeezes your hand. “We are going to gift our forest goddess, Devti. This day wouldn’t have been possible without her,” he says.

Before you can ask another question, a woman steps forward with a machete in hand. Your eyes widen in horror. The goats, the sacrifice—it's happening.

The woman’s voice booms through the clearing. “Everyone, the goddess Devti has blessed us once again. She has given our leader, Jeon Jungkook, another gift. For years, this forest has yearned for a mother, and here she is.”

Your mind reels at the mention of “mother.”

"Today, Jeon Jungkook and Y/N became one. Today, Lav and its people got their mother," she finishes, and the crowd erupts in deafening cheers.

“May Devti keep blessing the Lav, protect her people, and may Devti bless our leader Jungkook and mother Y/N with a prosperous future,” the woman concludes.

The crowd chants, “No man can defeat him, for he is blessed by the Devti.”

You are trembling. The weight of the machete in your hand feels too heavy. The goats cry in terror, and for a moment, you wonder if they know what’s coming. You look at Jungkook, but his smile only intensifies your fear.

"Go on," he urges softly. "Give her blood."

You shake your head, your breath quickening. You cannot bring yourself to kill innocent creatures. With trembling hands, you pass the machete back to Jungkook.

"I can't," you whisper. "I can't kill them."

Jungkook’s eyes soften, and he places a gentle hand on your shoulder. "Y/N, my love, this isn’t killing. It’s offering blood to the goddess."

But nothing he says helps. You are suffocating, your mind reeling, when a sudden idea flashes across your mind.

“Jungkook,” you say, your voice shaking but resolute. “Your goddess needs blood, right?”

He nods, sensing your change of tone.

“Well,” you continue, looking directly at him, “I don't want to kill the goats. They're babies, they should be with their mother. But... if she wants blood...” You pause, wiping your tears. “Then give her yours.”

You place your head against his chest, allowing yourself a moment of quiet satisfaction as his eyes widen.

But before he can react, one of the villagers steps forward, his voice protesting.

“That’s against the ritual,” he says.

You don’t give him a chance to finish. You step in front of him and snap, “Do not interfere while I’m speaking to my husband.”

The man immediately bows, a look of fear crossing his face.

Jungkook steps forward, his hand on your back, as he pushes the man away. “Only talk to my wife like that if you want to become one with the fire,” he warns, his voice cold.

You stand there, momentarily taken aback by his response. You suppress a smirk.

In a sudden motion, Jungkook grabs the machete, surprising the crowd when he slides the blade across his palm. Blood drips from his hand as he walks toward the stone statue of the goddess Devti. He wipes the blood over the stone, breathing heavily as the air grows thick with tension.

The crowd stands frozen in place, too afraid to make a sound. The silence is suffocating, and for reasons you cannot explain, you suddenly find yourself walking toward him.

In that moment, something inside you shifts. You grab his face and kiss him.

For a brief second, he is caught off guard, but then his hands find their place around you, pulling you closer. He cradles your jaw with his blood covered hand, he moans into the kiss. You break the kiss, suddenly aware of your surroundings.

Before anything else can happen, the old man steps forward, taking the machete from Jungkook and casting it aside.

He pats Jungkook on the back, his voice booming across the gathering.

“May the goddess approve of this,” he says. “May she bless the mother as she has blessed this village. From this day, till the very end, Mother Y/N and Jeon Jungkook shall be together.”

The crowd erupts in cheers, and your future here begins to solidify.

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next chapter

taglist: @jincapableoflove @voitier @koocreampie @kookxin @mysticprincessstrawberry @imwutim @synamon @withmuchluv-tannie @taekritimin123 let me know if u would like to be added.

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thank you so much for the love on this fic, im happy that you guys are enjoying it :) i have so many more cool ideas, once i finish this series i will start posting them.

[taeyongdoyoung]

chase and attract

summary: your best friend decides to fulfil yet another one of your freaky shared fantasies... pairing: chan x reader genre: smut, best friends to ??? warnings: cnc/primal play, chasing in a forest, public indecency but there are no witnesses, fingering, finger-sucking, doggystyle, unprotected sex, praise, degradation, reader wants to use the safeword but doesn't, reader experiences subdrop, insecurities, crying, aftercare, pet names, the word daddy is mentioned but after they're done having sex, discussion of future scenario 👀 author's note: hello hello, this is the second part of my wolf & bunny series, i think i'll write one more to tie up the loose ends 🤍 part one & part three word count: 1.7k

After a number of discussions and precautions, you and Chan are finally ready to embark on your next sexscapade. He's reassured you multiple times that he knows the forest well enough that you won't get lost and as a safety measure, he brought a compass and his phone. You purposefully leave yours in his car to further heighten the feeling of danger you two had in mind.

“Are you ready?” Chan asks you gently.

“Kinda. I'm really nervous, Chris,” you confess, your hands shaking in your lap as you are still sitting in the passenger seat.

“Remember that you can stop this at any moment, right?” he reminds you sweetly.

“I know that,” you sigh. “But I want this, I really do.”

“Okay, then, there's nothing to be nervous about. You know I'll keep you safe. Always, yeah?”

You nod, trusting him completely, despite how insane this whole thing might sound to a stranger. You are fully aware that Chan has your best interest at heart.

“I'll give you a five-minute headstart this time,” he sets the timer on his phone. “Ready, set...go!”

You dash out of his car faster than ever and speed through the forest. You've got this. Last time your stupid legs gave out due to being in a box for too long but now you've trained for this moment for a week and you feel confident enough that you'll have a blast. Sure, you know that the point of this game is for Chan to eventually catch you. And boy, do you look forward to that moment. But the more you run, the more your heart will jump out, the more thrilled you feel.

You begin to lose track of time as you go deeper and deeper into the forest. Have five minutes already passed? You don't hear Chan's footsteps so either he hasn't started chasing you yet or he's going in another direction. Whatever the explanation, you keep running even though you're beginning to lose your breath. How much longer? You still don't hear him and you are in desperate need of a break. You should have brought a bottle of water. But carrying something like that would only slow you down. You're thinking too much again. You just want him to catch you already and fuck you until you can no longer think. Truly the best feeling in the world.

Finally, you hear leaves rustling. You don't hear his voice but you know he's getting near. Shit, what if it's someone else? No, that can't be it. Chan made sure that people rarely walk this path and it would only be the two of you. Still, you're terrified at the thought of someone other than Chan catching you. The mere suggestion of that is enough to send speed to your muscles and make you faster.

But all good things must come to an end (or maybe the good things are just about to begin...) and you are engulfed by a pair of strong arms. Before you can react or try to fight your attacker off, he's pressing his hand against your mouth.

“Shhh, don't scream,” Chan's voice is both a comfort and a threat, sending mixed signals to your core.

“Mmpf,” you struggle to make some kind of noise but it comes out muffled against his rough hand.

“This will all be easier if you don’t fight it,” Chan says soothingly and you shake your head in disagreement.

He momentarily removes his hand from your lip.

“Please, somebody help me!” you scream loud enough to paint the scene more vividly but not loud enough to actually attract attention in case a stranger passes by some forest. Which honestly seems impossible at this point. Chan really picked a very secluded trail.

“No one’s gonna hear you, sweetheart. And even if they did, do you think they’d help you? Silly little bun, you brought this on yourself walking in the forest all alone, wearing this dress…”

Fuck, why is he so good at this? You try not to wonder if he’s had prior experience with such a scenario or he simply just has great imagination to come up with such lines.

“Please, don’t do this,” you pretend to be afraid as your best friend pushes you on your knees and situates himself behind you. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“Why not? I’ll fuck you so good you’ll want to brag about it,” Chan chuckles coldly and sticks his thick fingers inside your pussy unexpectedly.

“Nnghh,” you cry out and are beginning to lose energy of all the running and no longer feel like faking it, letting out moans and whimpers of pleasure.

“See? You’re all wet for me, so obviously you’re enjoying it,” Chan gathers the evidence of your satisfaction with his fingers and pushes them into your mouth.

You don’t need an order to know what to do as you lick them clean of your arousal.

“Fuuuck, good girl,” Chan praises you and briefly breaks character, stroking your hair gently.

Oh, shit. You think you’re falling for your best friend. But such thoughts will only bring complications, especially in the current context, so you push them down as much as you can.

Chan makes sure you’re wet enough by mercilessly stroking your pussy and finally, fuck, sweet finally, enters you from behind with his cock.

“N-no, d-don’t do this,” you scream and try to escape his strong grasp but of course, it’s no use.

“Such a useless slut, only good for fucking and nothing more.”

The degrading words sting but you’re trying not to dwell on it too much.

“So fucking wet for a stranger. Disgusting,” he says.

Fuck, this hurts. Not the cock stretching you out to the fullest but what he’s saying. Is it really true?

You want to say the safeword. But you also don’t. By the time you make up your mind, Chan has already painted your walls white and you are also coming with a shudder, loudly and devastatingly.

You feel broken. Bad broken. You want to go home and cry and sleep and eat ice cream. What went wrong? You were having such a great time. So why are you suddenly having such dark thoughts? And not dark in the sexy way…

Chan picks you up gently and checks up on you.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, I just want to go home,” you respond briefly.

He nods, quietly wondering if he did something wrong or if he’s just imagining the sad, empty look in your pretty eyes.

Chan helps you walk back to his car and makes sure you drink water and cleans you up to the best of his abilities with some tissues he prepared in advance.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks again as he parks the car in front of you place. “You haven’t said a word during the whole ride. Usually you have funny stories to share and…”

“Gee, sorry for not always being the class clown, I guess,” you snap at him angrily with an eyeroll.

“Okay, don’t give me that attitude,” Chan scolds you gently but firmly. “If we want to do this healthily, you gotta communicate with me. If I did something wrong or if you felt uncomfortable at any point.”

You shake your head, still in denial.

“If you don’t wanna talk, I won’t force you. But you gotta remember that you mean the world to me, yeah? Even if these games end, I need to have my best friend in my life, am I clear?”

You blink and finally gather the courage to look at him.

“I’m sorry, Chris,” you admit and burst into tears.

He pulls you into a hug and pats your back.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.”

“Well, the truth is I wasn’t all that into it when you said that thing about me being useless, only good for fucking and disgusting,” you confess.

“Oh, babygirl, you know I don’t mean these things. I only said them ‘cause you mentioned you’re into degradation.”

“I was, I mean, I am, but for some reason, it really hurt me this time, sorry. I should have said. I just don’t want you to think poorly of me.”

“Alright, first of all, stop saying sorry, it’s completely normal to get caught up in it and feel insecure sometimes. As a dom, I should have been more careful and checked up on you more frequently. And second of all, please, remember that you are very smart, sweet, funny and not to mention incredibly beautiful so there is no way in hell I think lowly of you. Now, did you put that down in your pretty brain of yours?”

“Yes, sir,” you answer enthusiastically and your tears have dried up, instead a bright smile appears on your face. “Thanks for saying that. I guess I really needed to hear it.”

“You don’t have to thank me. Just next time if you happen feel like that, say the safeword and talk to me. About anything, I mean it.”

“You too, Chris. I know that’s particularly hard for you to open up but whatever you tell me, I would never judge you.”

“I know, babygirl,” Chan chuckles softly and does something that further confuses the already blurred lines of your friendship. He kisses you on the lips, deeply and sweetly. Not like how you kiss your best friend but how you kiss a lover.

“Do you want…to come inside?” you offer, not knowing what exactly, considering you just ended a very overwhelming scene.

Actually, you know what you want. You want him to hold you, to watch a dumb movie and eat popcorn together. You want…more than you can have.

“I gotta get some work done,” Chan says with a wince. “I’m really behind on stuff.”

“Is it…my fault?”

“No way. I just can’t stop thinking of…our games even when I’m supposed to be working,” he admits.

Phew. You’re glad he didn’t say he can’t stop thinking of you. If he had, you wouldn’t be able to let him go to work.

“Right. Same here,” you reply dumbly.

“If you need anything and I mean, anything, just give me a call or a text. I’ll keep my phone nearby.”

“You really shouldn’t, I’ll keep annoying you,” you mumble self-consciously.

Chan grips your hand and squeezes it comfortingly.

“You could never annoy me, okay?”

“Okay, daddy,” you say it playfully, eliciting a giggle out of his beautiful mouth.

“Do you have any particular wishes for…you know, next time?”

“I do, but it’s kinda mild compared to what we’ve done already,” you shrug. “Dunno if you’d be into it.”

“Name it and it’s yours,” Chan assures you.

“How do you feel about…fucking me while I’m asleep?”

To be continued…

[weaving-wyrd]

A Prayer For The Honorable & Forgotten : Ancestor Work

I call to the Ancestors, seen and unseen— To those of my blood, my spirit, and my path. To the ones who shaped this world before me, Walking in wisdom, justice, and love.

I honor the bold, the healers, the seekers— Those who protected, who taught, who mended, Who walked with truth and kindness in their time, Their voices still echoing through the ages.

May your wisdom light my way. May your strength uphold me. May your love live on in my heart, my thoughts, my deeds.

Yet I turn from those who wrought harm— Who chose cruelty when compassion was an option, Who upheld injustice instead of standing for what was right. Their influence has no place here, Their voices do not shape my path.

And to the forgotten, the silenced, the lost— I call your names, even if the world has erased them. I offer remembrance, honor, love, and light. May you find peace where once there was none.