#What is bro doing to that spaceship

[chazchaschad]

caught again

[quietwingsinthesky]

i literally could have invented an oc who gets to fuck and instead i made one who doesn’t know what sex is (<- test tube baby born on a spaceship) and whose only experience of “love” is getting obsessed with the memory of a woman trapped in another dimension because the alien they’re traveling with is still smitten with her.

[bugsinyahare]

kids think in a really different way because they had no tomorrow literally. nothing matters but everything matters so much. happy to know that because u cant predict how im gonna act by my mental illness anymore because im not cured i know it so well i dont have to worry about why i loved my psychosis

[captainyonghoon]

idk what happened but i’ve had the wrong idea this entire time of what speculative fiction is and one of the rules of this contest is that it has to be speculative and i was like oh man idk my stuff isn’t really hard science fiction like that, i’m gonna have to really think about this one

no dude i’m already there

[2hightocare]

APOCALYPSE!

“I could go a fair bit crazy over you.”

Synopsis: In which your boyfriend loves doing corny things with you… he also loves doing you.

Genre: established relationship.

Pairings: boyfriend!jungkook x fem!reader

warnings: smut.. car sex, unprotected sex (wrap it up bro) creampie, praise, size kink, belly bulge, cussing, fluff at beginning and end, banter between couple, oral, overstimulation, squirting, making out, reader crying out of pleasure, choking, spanking, dirty talking, reader fucked ‘dumb’, mentions of ot7, they’re so corny it’s sickening.

author note 🗒️: wrote majority of this shit being faded as fuck so forgive me if it’s ass and ignore the mistakes (I’ll get to them eventually) js wanted to thank everyone for 3k🤍… writers block has been an thing these pasts months so sorry that I haven’t posted anything new. Here’s more of kuwtb oc and jk dating era 🤍

“I should’ve brought my glasses,” you whisper, a loud laugh ripping out of Jungkook's chest. “I can’t see anything, baby.” You turn to your side before swatting him on the chest— a pout displayed on your face, before going back to your original position, looking up at the dark milky way.

“We were having a cute moment, and you just blurt that out,” your boyfriend quips, his eyes focused on your side profile. A small smile tugs on his lips as he sees you scrunch up your nose, shaking your head slightly.

“You’re so right, we are so corny.” You playfully stick your tongue out with a small “yuck,” before bursting into a giggle when Jungkook tickles your side.

“‘Can we lay on the grass and look at the stars?’” Jungkook mocks your voice, changing his tone into a much more high-pitched version to match yours.

“Stop! I wanted to have a moment like Noah and Allie,” you puff, a smile threatening to come out.

“Baby, you know they look at the traffic lights and not the stars, right?” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at you.

“Of course I know, but I feel like we would actually get run over. Plus, I like you too much to just let you get run over.” You shrug, your fingers pulling on the grass on the floor. Your eyes connect to the sky as Jungkook stares at your side profile— taking in every imperfection and turning it into another reason why he loves you.

“Like?” he asks, his thumb running over your bottom lip before tilting your head to the side by your chin, making you look at him.

Your heartbeat skyrockets as he stares into your eyes, the twinkle in them prettier than the stars you were just trying to see. Your stomach lights up as if millions of fireworks exploded in heart-shaped sparkles.

“Love.” You correct yourself, rolling your eyes playfully.

“That’s better.” Jungkook clicks his tongue, pursing his lips out. You let out a giggle, dropping a small chaste kiss on his lips before turning back to the sky with a goofy smile on your face.

“You believe in aliens?” you ask, cracking a smile from Jungkook's face— his dimple carving into his skin as he bites his bottom lip, trying to contain the biggest smile.

“Fuck yeah.” Jungkook nods excitedly.

“We are literally a rock when it comes to the whole universe. There’s gotta be something out there.” Jungkook explains, expanding his arms and pointing to the sky, as you nod happily beside him.

“I agree, my mom said she saw one of those spaceships or whatever they’re called,” you pipe in, turning to your side to face your boyfriend.

“You mean a UFO, baby?” Jungkook's face scrunches in adoration.

“UFO?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Unidentified flying object,” he explains, scooting closer to you— dropping his head to your bare stomach.

“I like spaceships better.” You shrug, and he laughs, adjusting himself slightly. Your fingers find their way into his fluffy hair, combing through it. He moans slightly, melting into your touch, closing his eyes, and dropping a gentle kiss on your abdomen.

“What would you do if an alien kidnapped you?” Jungkook asks, his voice muffled.

“Funny for you to think I would allow it,” you say nonchalantly.

You both could hear a hairpin drop from how quiet you both went before breaking out into a fit of laughter. “Smartass.” Jungkook laughs, jokingly biting your stomach and earning a small squeal from you.

Your laughs die down after a while, replaced by silence, the only sounds being your guys breathing. Your eyes flutter shut with a smile, small goosebumps raising on your arms as Jungkook runs his fingertips on your belly— outlining ‘mine’.

“Tell me about your books,” Jungkook murmurs against your bare skin.

“Wanna know about my current read?” you ask, your fingers tugging softly on his hair, making him look up at you.

“I wanna know everything about you, baby,” Jungkook coos.

“Corny.” You scrunch your nose, placing a palm over his face and pushing softly backward, making him laugh. “Tell me about the thick-ass book I bought you two days ago.” Your boyfriend drops kisses all over your stomach.

“The dragon one?” you poke his cheek, before letting your finger play with his lip ring.

“There’s dragons?” Jungkook gasps, looking up at you.

“Yeah, and they have sex,” you say with a smothering giggle, whispering the last words in a hushed tone, making Jungkook's eyes widen.

“That’s enough, baby.” Your boyfriend raises an eyebrow before shaking his head, changing the topic to the latest drama, including Eunbi and Yoongi.

“Lora and I saw them coming out of the guest room while you were doing cartwheels with Taehyung,” Jungkook chuckles, the amusement on his face rubbing off on you.

“You’re lying,” you gasp, your jaw dropping open.

“I honestly didn’t see it coming.” Jungkook bites his lip, containing a smile. “Do you think Yoongi is the sub?” he continues before bursting out in a laugh, you following along.

"It's going to rain," you observe after a while, noticing a lightning strike in the dark sky. Jungkook hums in agreement before sitting up. He holds out his palm for you to take, which you do, and pulls you up onto his lap in a quick, soft motion.

You immediately wrap your arms around his neck, adjusting on his lap and straddling him. His thumbs rub circles on your bare thighs.

"I want another tattoo," Jungkook murmurs, his lips pressing kisses along your collarbone and neck. You nod slightly, enjoying the sensation of his lips against your skin.

"Where?" you ask, holding his head in place with your palms. He bites his bottom lip, looking up at you with dilated pupils.

"My forehead, and it'll be your name," Jungkook says with a grin, making you roll your eyes playfully.

"You're annoying," you retort, pushing his head backwards, making him gasp dramatically.

"I think it'll look good, you know? Just got to pick a cool font," Jungkook jokes, poking your side, sending you squirming on his lap.

"You're never ever getting my name tattooed on you," you shoot him a glare, which he only responds to by sucking in his lips and widening his eyes before shrugging.

"I think your lips tattooed on my hip bone would be hot," Jungkook wiggles his eyebrows.

"You're crazy," you pout, scrunching your nose as he gives your cheek a kiss.

"Yeah?" Your boyfriend smirks, his hands gripping the sides of your waist, squeezing softly, pulling you closer to him.

"I could go a fair bit crazy over you, baby." His lips brush against yours.

Suddenly, the air is knocked out of your lungs when his lips crash against yours. It doesn't matter how many times he has kissed you; you just can't control the utter madness of butterflies swarming your stomach. The fuzzy feeling fills your senses with every touch of his fingertips on your hot skin. The warmth of his touch, the softness of his lips against yours, all conspire to make your heart flutter with the same giddy excitement as the very first time.

His touch is electric, sending shivers cascading down your spine as his fingers trace the curve of your jaw, his hand gently cradling your face. With a tender yet insistent pressure, he deepens the kiss, his lips parting yours in a silent invitation.

You can feel the heat of his body pressed against yours as you move your hips against his. A soft moan slips past your lips into Jungkook's mouth as he guides your hips on his hardened length.

Jungkook's hand travels up, tangling in your hair, small, light rain drops start to fall down from the dark sky.

"Car?" he says in between kisses. You nod, moaning at the sensation of his lips on your collarbone, leaving purple, reddish marks.

You could never get tired of the way Jungkook looked at you, his eyes shimmery with a mix of love, need, and adoration. It was intoxicating, making you forget all your problems. The universe could have collapsed around you, and you would only care about his mouth on yours.

Everything about him was perfect, his scent, his touch, his voice, those beautiful lips, the way he looked at you, as if you were the only one that mattered in his world.

"Yes, car," you agree, breathy and disheveled.

In a swift motion, Jungkook stood and lifted you, carrying you to the car as you wrapped your legs around his waist. It wasn't until you reached the car that he broke the intense kiss, leaving your lips tingling with desire.

With a wicked grin, Jungkook, laid you on the backseat of his car. Jungkook’s fingers found the hem of your crop top, lifting it up, and you helped by throwing your hands over your head- revealing your lacy black bra.

A soft moan fell from your lips as he freed your breasts from the lace, by tugging downwards.

Your soft moans echoed within the car when your boyfriend cups your tits, massaging and kneading, your nipples hardening.

His lips found your jaw, kissing your neck— his eyes darted up to meet yours before his lips met the peak of your nipple, hot breath, then suckling gently, keeping his gaze locked before shifting his attention to the other breast.

Moaning, you bit your lip, head falling back from the sensation. Jungkook loved how responsive you are, the way your nails dig into his upper back.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” Jungkook moans, his calloused hands grip your waist in place to stop you from squirming on the leather seat.

He leaned in close, planting a trail of soft kisses along your neck and shoulders. “Mine.” Your boyfriend whispered into your skin.

You licked your lips, not able to find the words to say what you wanted, as all your thoughts were consumed by lust. Your back arched, encouraging the caresses he was giving. His hand grabbed the back of your head, pulling you closer. His lips met yours, deep and hungry, claiming your mouth as his. You let out a soft moan, your hands finding their way to his face.

“Spread your legs princess.” Jungkook says, his voice deep and gentle— he taps on your inner thigh.

You hum softly, watching your boyfriend work on the zipper and buttons from your denim shorts. Jungkook pulls down your shorts down your legs— your panties following quick after.

“Look how pretty this pussy is,” Jungkook chuckled, his eyes making contact with yours raising an eyebrow. He runs a finger down your slit making you choke out a desperate whine.

“Feels good baby?” He says, he adjusts himself— pushing your legs back, giving him more space to be face to face with your dripping core. You only moan in response when he drops a soft kiss on your clit.

You couldn’t help the whimpers that escaped your lips, He smiled against your heat, He licked his lips as he slowly parted your folds with his thumbs, revealing your glistening clit. He took it into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around it. You let out a desperate moan, your hips bucking in desperation.

He started flicking his tongue against your clit, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. Your back arched, grinding your pussy against his tongue, feeling it flick deep inside your folds.

“Ngh, right there,” You dug your nails into his hair, your toes curling.

“Right here baby?” Jungkook smirked, inserting two fingers into your sopping hole. You couldn't help but moan and nod, as his fingers curled inside you, hitting your sweet spot perfectly.

“Ass up, princess.” he ordered. Without needing to be told twice, you did as you were told, with wobbly legs you flip around. He roughly grabbed one cheek, squeezing it and spreading you, giving him a view of your tight, puckered hole.

Jungkooks cock twitches in his pants as he watches your holes clench over nothing. “Feeling empty?” He chuckles, a rough hand makes contact with your ass with a hard smack— your back arches. You let out a loud squeal, pleasure and pain mixing together.

He lets out a low growl, his cock straining against his pants, Jungkook moans as he watches your wetness begin to drip down your thighs onto his seats.

“Actually, do you want to tell me about the dragons you were reading about?” Jungkook jokes behind you making you snap your head backwards with a glare.

“You’re annoying.” You pout, Jungkook eyes twinkle with amusement— he bites down on his bottom lip containing the smile that is threatening to spill out. “Annoying? I have you spread out in front of me baby… your pussy is literally dripping.” Jungkook tilts his head to the side cheekily.

Your boyfriend taps on your ass for you to turn around.

He didn’t have to tell you twice as you flip around, before reaching for the waistband of his sweatpants. You pull down on the waistband, alongside his boxers. His cock springs out, the head red and aching.

Jungkook watches you wrap your hand over his thick length, giving a slow pump causing him to blow out a sigh. Jungkook stops you before you connect your lips with his cock.

“As much as I want you to give me the head of my life, I fucking need to be inside your pretty pussy right now baby.” Jungkook rushes out, tugging on your loose hair backwards.

You pout at him. “Let me fuck you.” Jungkook whispers, the grip on your hair tighten pulling you upwards— his lips milliliters away from your face.

“Fuck me.” You whimper.

The moment the words left your mouth jungkook is picking you up and placing you on top of his lap. You’re leaning your back against Jungkook's chest, your legs spread open on each side of his big thighs. His arm is snaked around your waist pulling you closer into him.

“Cramps?” Jungkook whispers into your neck, “not yet.” You joke, he shakes his head with a small laugh before you wrap your hand around his cock aligning it to your entrance.

“Going to take my cock like a good girl?” He guided your hand, aligning it to your dripping entrance. He rubbed the tip of his cock against your pussy before pushing his cock inside you. You feel the familiar pressure as he slowly slid his length inside you, your pussy sucking him in.

“So big.. fuck.” You moan, your pussy clenching around him making him moan against your ear. “If you keep doing that I’m going to cum.” He chuckled.

You dipped down onto his cock, his cock hitting your cervix when you completely sat down on it. Your legs shake beside you, his hands fastly grip underneath your thighs.

“All up my belly.” You moan, arching your back against him.

The sight of his cock inside you, buried up to the hilt, made him moan. "You're so tight," he half-whispered, half-growled against the shell of your ear, the roughness of his voice only fueling the intense passion that already burned through your veins.

He wove his fingers into your hair, guiding your head with an almost possessive need as he tilted you to give him better access to your lips. Jungkook crashed his mouth against yours, his tongue invading, claiming. His eyes closed for a moment as he savored the sensation of your wet, tight pussy engulfing him completely.

He groaned as you lifted yourself, his cock popping out momentarily before sliding back in when you slammed down on it, your cervix meeting his tip with each movement. It was a merciless, primal form of pleasure, your wetness coating his length with every thrust.

His eyes remained locked on you as you got lost in the sensation of his thick length filling you up, throaty moans leaving your lips as you moved on top of him, grinding down onto his cock, your hips moving in a circular motion. Jungkook couldn't help the low growl that left his throat

He pulled you back up, forcing you to bounce on his rigid cock, watching as your full lips parted in an ecstatic moan. The sway of your hips in time with the motion of his cock sliding in and out of you was so fucking erotic it was almost a crime.

You gasped, leaning back just enough to give Jungkook better access to your exposed neck. His cock hitting your g-spot repeatedly which each bounce.

Jungkook's hips bucked up, meeting your bounces, desperate to get as deep as he could, to fill you up completely. The sensation was almost overpowering. A familiar heat was building inside you, a sweet ache that craved release.

Your eyes rolled back, waves of pleasure overwhelmed you.

His hips pumped faster, his cock buried deep inside you, stretching you in the most exquisite way. Jungkook took your lips in another deep, greedy kiss, muffling the sounds of your cries as you rocked your hips wildly, trying to take him as deep as you could, desperate to reach that peak that felt so tantalizingly close.

“I can’t.” You cry, "That's it, baby, feel every inch." He urged you on.

The thrusts grew rougher, deafening the world around you except for the sound of your moans, his grunts, the soft squelching of your bodies coming together and the rain pouring outside.

The pressure built and built, coiling tighter and tighter until you could no longer contain it. Your entire body trembled as you came undone, shattering the quiet of the car with a lustful cry. Your pussy clamped down around Jungkook's cock,

"Cum for me, baby," he whispered, his voice hoarse with lust.

You let out a loud whine as his cock slipped out of you. Your body continued to rock back and forth, the ache of denial from not having his cock buried inside you being too much to bear. You glanced down between your legs, flushed when you noticed the stickiness that coated your inner thighs.

Jungkook picked up your trembling body and placed your back onto the leather seat. “Gon’ fuck you missionary so I can see your pretty face when I fill you up with my cum.” Your boyfriend growls.

Jungkook wasted no time, returning home, his cock sliding inside you once more as you let out a needy moan.

His thrusts were relentless, deep, and hard, driving himself into you. The way your pussy immediately clenched around him, took him in so greedily, made him groan, his eyes locked on yours.

A hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing just enough to keep you eager for air. “H-harder,” you pant, your voice growing hoarse as his grip tightened.

The car rocked beneath the force of his thrusts, the sounds of wet slaps echoed, mixed with your cries of pleasure, your head tossing back, your eyes rolling back at the ferocity of his thrusts, the sensations building once more, the climax burning beneath your skin.

"Harder...fuck, harder," you cried out, your voice high-pitched and desperate. Jungkook chuckled, releasing his hold on your throat, you gasp as you inhale deeply for air.

Jungkook fingers find their way to your clit once more, his thumb rubbing it in circles while he continues to thrust into your soaked cunt.

The mix of the insistent pressure on your clit and the rough thrusts was too much, a wave of pure pleasure crashing over you, your pussy gripping his cock, your body pulsing around him. Jungkook pulled out, watching with a devilish grin as your pussy squirted all over the two of you.

Jungkook slapped his cock on your swollen clit— watching your pussy spasm with spurts of juices, before pushing his cock back into you.

The sensation of being filled once more, the echo of your screams, bouncing off the car roof, and the overwhelming orgasm had left you lightheaded. You clung to Jungkook, panting, drool sliding down your chin.

"Fuck, you're so wet for me..." He groaned in pleasure, the sensation of your slick walls gripping him, almost drowning him.

"You... fuck me so good, baby," you panted, the words slurred, your voice bordering on sounding completely fucked-dumb. Your body shuddering, your pussy spasming around his cock, your orgasm brewing fast. Jungkook's hips sped up, his cock pulsing inside you.

Suddenly, your back arched, your vision filled with a white haze as another orgasm crashed over you. The delicious agony coursed through your body, your pussy clenching down on his cock, Jungkook grunted, feeling you contract around him, the sensation sending him over the edge. His cock pumped inside you, the warmth of his seed filling you up completely. He moaned against your neck, his heart pounding, lost in the sensation of having you completely wrapped around him

"Fuck, baby," he groaned, his jaw clenching, his eyes closed as he rode out the intense wave of ecstasy. His breath hitched, his hips jerking, before he collapsed against you, his cock still throbbing inside you, spent.

Your body continued to tremble, the aftershocks of the powerful climax lingering. Your heart raced, your breaths coming in ragged pants, sweat beading on your forehead.

With a low growl, Jungkook slowly pulled out of you leaving you feeling impossibly empty. The slick sound of his withdrawal accompanied by a heated chuckle of his.

Jungkook looked down, the sight of your pussy dripping with his cum— your wet pussy gaping, waiting for him to fill you once again.

Jungkook watched, captivated by the scene, as you reached down to collect his cum, watching as you pushed it back inside.

“Fuck.. that was hot.” Jungkook groaned, his lips landed on your face, trails of wet kisses from your forehead, down to your nose, your cheeks, and finally landing on your lips. The storm outside, the rain and thunder providing the soundtrack to your post-coital bliss.

Your limp, spent body sprawled over his car seats, your heart still racing, your breaths coming in shallow pants. You gazed up at him, the sweat on his forehead, the flush on his cheeks, the lust still in his eyes, his breathing heavy. A hand cupped your cheek, his fingers gently stroking your jawline as his lips moved against yours in a tender kiss.

Jungkook traced his fingers along your jawline, pushing a lock of hair behind your ear.

"You good, baby?" He asked, the tenderness in his voice, an unexpected warmth to the intensity of what had just happened.

Your eyes fluttered open, looking up at him and giving a slow, lazy smile. "Yeah, just a bit sore," you responded, blatantly referring to the aching between your legs.

"You're cute, baby," Jungkook whispered into your lips, the simple remark warming you, leaving your heart fluttering. You hummed in content.

The two of you lay there, naked, your skin still glistening from sweat, the weight of the storm outside more comforting than daunting. Your breaths slowly returning to normal.

A beat of silence permeated the car until Jungkook finally broke it, his voice brimming with mirth. "So... do you think we fucked better than the dragons from your book?"

[soullessseraphim]

-ˋˏ ༻𖤓༺ ˎˊ-

"They call them star tears. Legend has it they actually are literal angels' tears."

ambiance / background study??, I dont fuckin know anything is a pretext for practice I need to feed my portfolio asap is it even good enough for it bro is this even crk related anymore idk what im doing help 😭

obviously based on those spaceship/rocket thing debris I saw on social media... it was pretty as hell

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by yn (@ynschronicals)

[laxyaklovesloz]

DannyMay 2025 #15 Stars

Master Post

A moment for Danny and Jazz.

It was Danny’s tenth birthday, and his parents worked in their lab like always. He sat slumped at the kitchen table, playing with a toy spaceship. His big sister Jazz watched TV in the other room. At least she cared enough to give him the spaceship. His parents didn’t even come upstairs.

Danny sighed. He should know better than to expect his parents to care. They missed his and Jazz’s birthdays every year. Those were just another day to them. They even ignored their own birthdays. What was a birthday compared to ghost research? It didn’t matter that they couldn’t prove anything. They had success in college, and that was enough.

Why did they even have kids?

At eight o'clock, Jazz walked into the kitchen with a smile on her face and Bearbert in her hands.

“You missed a good episode,” she said. She put her bear on the table. “What do you want for dinner?”

“Who cares?” Danny asked glumly.

“Don’t be so sad, little bro,” Jazz said. “I have a surprise for you after dinner.”

Danny sat up a little bit. “What surprise?”

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise! Now, what do you want for dinner?”

Jazz told Danny all about the show she watched while she made PB&Js. They ate and discussed his day at school. When the plates were clean, she took his hand and led him to the backyard.

“What are we doing?” Danny asked.

“I got you something special for your birthday,” Jazz said. She pulled him to something covered in a tarp.

“But you already gave me my present,” Danny said, holding up the spaceship.

“I got you two presents this year,” Jazz said. “Are you ready?”

Danny nodded enthusiastically. Jazz pulled the tarp off, and he gasped. It was a telescope!

“This is for me?” he asked in awe.

“Yup!” Jazz said. “Do you think I can use it, too?”

“Of course! But me first,” Danny said, running up to the telescope. He looked through the eyepiece, saw that it was all black, and took the cap off the lens. Looking back through, he was greeted by a brilliant sky full of stars.

“This is amazing!” he said. “Even with the light pollution, I can see so many stars! Here, look!” He backed away for Jazz to see.

She looked through the telescope and said, “Oh, wow! It’s beautiful. Do you want to keep looking?”

“Yes!”

Jazz moved to the side to let Danny have another turn. She smiled at seeing him so happy.

[istharoth]

Gawd. Listen, I have so much to say about Edward right now.

[Spoilers under cut]

First and foremost, this entire conversation. SUSPICIOUS. It's not the mermaid, I'm sure of it. (and Elias is the janitor iirc) and Towa 💀 bro is still stuck in the honeymoon phase as Romeo (I'm sorry, Fico) kindly puts it.

THIS JUST EGGS ME THE WRONG WAY. Like, sir, do you mean the people at DA that I shouldn't trust? As for Lyca, you don't want him to trust Neros, or...alternatively, you don't want him to trust Subaru?

Rail me. doggy, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, upside down, inside out, one leg up, two legs up, in public, on a spaceship, in the garden, on the grass, in a car, in a box, on a table, against a wall (For legal reasons, this is a copypasta.)

SPY/TRAITOR (sigh. and what if I said the traitor is Haku Kusanagi? Because everything in my head points at him.

You know how Haku says he won't tell anyone that we attempted to leave DA, and then right in the next episode Alan goes "Oh, yeah, they probably know" lmao. AND LIKE, FUNNY HOW the Like Dove just stopped appearing after the Hotarubi chapter. Like not one dove after.

Then there's him just casually avoiding the topic of his stigma, like, dude, just tell me, I love you anyway.

(Though when Ed said 'comradery', my mind first went to Luca lmao, highly doubt it though. Unless they pull a "DA killed Luca's twin" and boom, a traitor theory is born.)

Again, suspicious ass lines. I think it's pretty transparent Mr. "I'm the Strongest Vampire *cough, heave, collapse*" doesn't actually have our best interest in mind. Revealing to the student body that MC was going to become Kyklos was wrong to do. AND HE KNOWS NEROS. BOY WHAT DO YOU NOT KNOW?!

Ed can't see the tree, but PC, Kaito (Coriander) and Towa can. Hmm...interesting.

Ren voice whenever Ed was near MC or Rui: "That's sexual harassment!"

But then, this chapter was a reminder of how terrifying Obscuary are, even if they don't want to be the way they are. XD I was pretty messed out by this chapter ngl.

[mattandsaraproductions]

Reality War things, roughly in order:

But… Poppy is from the future? The spaceship with the fucking space babies? Why are the Doctor and Belinda still going “this is our kid” after being pulled out of the fake reality? And if this isn’t Space Babies Poppy, why aren’t the Doctor and Belinda more freaked out by sudden baby? Neither of them going “I have a kid now?”

Too many characters. Stop it with the “we want a UNIT spinoff” characters. They take up time. Worse, it means every present-day story becomes a story with all these useless characters. And while you’re at it, can we write Kate Stewart as anything other than “remember my dad was is Doctor Who?”

You know what? I’m with the Rani here. Fuck these people I want the Time Lords back.

If I had two nickels for every time RTD brought back a good villain and turned them into a stupid CGI creature easily defeated, etc etc.

Murray Gold release the fucking S10 soundtrack stop reusing cues release the fucking S10 soundtrack already.

“We’re not going to settle down” to reality being rewritten to force Belinda to settle down and “I can’t travel because I have a kid.” Hey Ruby if you care about Poppy why don’t you become mum to her. No but seriously: why isn’t the ending to this that Ruby takes care of Poppy? Why, if she’s the one who cares so much about this kid, why doesn’t she take Poppy in? It even works coherently with her caring about this child because she herself is an orphan. But no, let’s rewrite Belinda’s history so she’s now happy having a child and always had a kid. And the thing that RTD just doesn’t seem to understand is how weird fucking what it is to suddenly have a child. A biological child? Belinda should be freaking the fuck out from the moment reality is re-established. But oh well, her happy ending is the same reality that the fashy podcast bro wrote for her. Okey dokey time for Rose to come back I guess.

Oh you know what? Replace Ruby with Belinda in the climax, her confronting Conrad instead (“you made me have a kid! With the Doctor! He’s gay, mate!”)

Jesus Christ but Jo Martin was right there. Paul McGann would have been nice too. Matt Smith, if we’re doing stunt casting in numerical order. It’s pretty clear that Gatwa deciding to leave was last minute. But people have been talking about a surprise regeneration for years, going “hey wouldn’t it be cool if we get Famous Actor for an episode?” And instead of like, Helen Mirren, we get David Tennant for the 60th and now Billie Piper?

I genuinely want to know the behind-the-scenes of these past two years. Why say goodbye to Ruby last season only to bring her back and sideline Belinda this season? How much with Mrs. Flood, all the gods bullshit, mavity, etc. was planned in advance? And what in this episode stands from whatever it originally was before Gatwa decided to leave? (the pictures of them dancing for example)

[imawitchywitch]

We have the sixth and final season of The Handmaid’s Tale coming out. A new Hunger Games book and movie in the works that is a prequel. Spaceships are exploding, planes are crashing, bald eagles and Canadian geese are fighting, nazi salutes are being normalized, Elon got a dictator haircut, thousands of people are getting laid off and rehired everyday, water is purposefully being made unsafe, measles and tuberculosis are making a comeback, the tech bros are trying to make their own towns free from any laws or regulations.

And I’m doing my laundry.

We are in truly dystopian times. I don’t know what other words to use.

[ali-anne-undertale-stoof]

Warning: This chapter is filled with lethal levels of cute and silly. Read at your own risk.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59131027/chapters/165727099#workskin

Chapter 23: Spaced Out!

"OH MY! THE WATER! IT'S... ON FIRE!"

Mettaton always had this thing for making everything dramatic, but for Papyrus, it's only assurance that yes, Undyne DOES cool spaghetti properly! The Great and Diligent Papyrus scribbled this incident down on his notepad before he cast his eyes on the TV, ready for the next tip.

If Papyrus looked outside, he would've noticed that he and Sans were snowed in... Snowdin? Snowed in. Snowdin. Ha. Funny. Pun aside, being trapped inside with your brother often can lead to boredom. And when you're bored of being alone, and you have no one but your brother around, then there's only one logical conclusion.

And that's why Sans came downstairs. Papyrus internally groaned. He REALLY didn't want his brother interrupting his cooking show. But alas, he was going to anyway.

With a wide, cheesy grin, Sans plonked his bottom on the sofa right beside Papyrus. Papyrus tried desperately to ignore Sans and focus on the show, but he knew Sans wasn't gonna let that slide. And he didn't.

"hey, bro. papyrus. papyrus. papyrus. paps. pap. pap pap. papaya. papperoo. paper. pepperus. 'rus. ross. pyrus. cyprus. pastarus. papysaurus rex."

Oh, when will this torment end? Oh, and he just couldn't stop poking his temples, whyyyyyyyyy?!?!?!

It didn't take long for Papyrus' short fuse to wear itself out. "WHAT?!?!"

Sans wasn't deterred by Papyrus' annoyance. In fact, it only seemed to encourage him. His face lightened as Papyrus snapped at him.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!"

"hey, bro. can i tell you something?"

"NOW?!"

"yes."

Papyrus let out a long-suffering groan before he paused the TV and crossed his arms, his posture remaining steady. "FINE, WHAT IS IT?"

Delighted, Sans proceeded to rock back and forth slightly. "okay, so i've been reading up on galaxies and can i tell you about this cool galaxy i found?"

"FINE."

"ngc 2936. it's a galaxy that looks like a penguin. it's a penguin galaxy, but people also call it the porpoise galaxy. i can see it, it looks a bit like a porpoise."

Huh. That was... pretty interesting. Papyrus' annoyance slowly melted away as he watched Sans ramble and rock back and forth. He had to admit, it's nice seeing his brother happy.

"it's in the hydra constellation. and well, when i think of hydra, i think water for some reason. and that makes a lot of sense, cuz now i know it has the porpoise galaxy in it. and it looks like a penguin. a penguin. and it's a spiral galaxy too. well, an interacting spiral galaxy, but still, spiral galaxies are my favorite, you've always known this."

Papyrus nodded along before he piped up. "HEY, CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT KIND OF ALIENS LIVE IN THAT GALAXY? IMAGINE TWO SILLY ALIENS LIVING IN THAT SILLY GALAXY TRAVELLING AROUND AND EXPLORING OTHER PLANETS!"

He swore he just saw Sans' eyelights turn into stars. "oh my god, papyrus. heh, you might be onto somethin'. hey, do you think those aliens would have brothers as well?"

"OF COURSE!!! WHY NOT?!?! TWO AMAZING BROTHERS TRAVELLING TO OTHER AMAZING PLANETS IN AN AMAZING GALAXY!!!"

"like ngc 2936."

"HOW DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?!?!"

"i'm a nerd, papyrus. i like numbers."

"WELL, YOU'RE A NERD, ALRIGHT. ANYWAY!!!"

--------

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CALL THESE ALIENS?!?!

dunno. i guess you can just name one and i'll name the other.

WELL, THEN!!! I'LL SAY, HMM... PAPITEX, THE INTERGALACTIC TECHNOLOGICAL MASTER, HERO OF PLANETS AND GALAXIES!!!

neat. well, i'll name the other santroi. a brilliant nerd and papitex's brotherly sidekick.

WHO INTERRUPTS HIS COOKING SHOWS?

do they have cooking shows in space?

WELL, THEY MIGHT AS WELL DO!!! THIS IS ALL THE IMAGINATION!!! ANYWAY!!! PAPITEX AND SANTROI LIVE IN THIS SPACESHIP THAT THEY BUILT THEMSELVES, BECAUSE THEY ARE GENIUSES!!! AND OF COURSE, PAPITEX IS THE ONE RUNNING EVERYTHING AND BEING THE COOLEST CAPTAIN, LIKE, "NYEH HEH HEH!!! SANTROI, SET A COURSE TO THE NEXT HABITABLE PLANET!!!"

"aye aye, sir."

AND THEN SANTROI WOULD PROVIDE THE COORDINATES!!!

yup. he's a navigator, through and through. "ok, bro, i found the next planet. it's got these cool rings we can surf through."

"SURFING?! THAT'S MY THIRD FAVORITE INTERGALACTIC SPORT!!! ONWARD, BROTHER!!!"

and then they surf round and round the rings until their spaceship runs outta fuel.

WHAT?!?! THEIR SPACESHIP?!?! OUT OF FUEL?!?!

yeah, well, it had to happen eventually. "uh oh."

"WHAT? WHAT IS IT?"

"papitex, i hate to ruin the fun, but we've only got thirty gigiliters of fuel."

"WHAT?!?! BUT THAT'S FAR TOO LITTLE!!! IF WE RUN OUT, WE'LL GET PULLED INTO THE GRAVITATIONAL PULL OF THIS VERY PLANET!!!"

they get pulled into the gravitational pull of that very planet.

BUT IT'S OKAY, BECAUSE PAPITEX IS AN EXCELLENT PILOT!!! HE'LL MAKE SURE THEY LAND SAFELY ON THE PLANET!!!

...yeah, i think they crash.

WHAT?!?! WHY?!?!

i dunno, it just seems like they have too little for papitex to do much to save the ship.

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GIVE THE SPACESHIP TOO LITTLE FUEL? CAN'T YOU CHANGE IT?

alright. they have just enough fuel for papitex to land it safely.

PHEW!!!

sorta.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!?!

they still ran out of fuel.

SO THEY ENDED UP CRASHING ANYWAY?!?!

yeah, but safely. not much was destroyed.

WELL... ALRIGHT, I'LL LET THAT ONE SLIDE. SO THE BROTHERS COME OUT OF THE SHIP, NOT WORSE FOR WEAR... SO WHAT DOES THE PLANET LOOK LIKE?

uhh... pink.

PINK?

yeah, pink. pink everything. pink trees, pink grass, and it smells like vanilla ice cream cake.

YOU JUST DESCRIBED CANDYLAND.

i'm hungry.

THEN GET SOME SNACKS!!! I THINK AN ALIEN PLANET WOULD HAVE WEIRD TREES!!! WITH... EYES. NO, HANDS!!! AND THEY CAN TALK USING THEIR HANDS, AND THEY SAY TO THE BROTHERS, "WELCOME TO PLANET..." UHH...

heh, planet uhh.

...SURE. "WELCOME TO PLANET UHH!!! YOU'LL BE STAYING HERE A WHILE UNLESS YOU GET THAT DARN SPACESHIP FIXED!!!"

"you speak our language?"

"I SPEAK ALL LANGUAGES!!!" AND THEN PAPITEX WOULD SAY, "WELL, THIS IS WEIRD!!! IT'S A GOOD THING THIS ATMOSPHERE IS BREATHABLE!!!"

"yup, we'd be dead otherwise."

"WELL, THEN!!! COME ON, SANTROI!!! WE NEED TO FIND SOMETHING THAT CAN GET THIS SPACESHIP OFF THE GROUND!!!"

"aye aye, captain."

ARE THEY PIRATES?

good point. "aye aye, great papitex."

SO THEN THEY JUST WANDER INTO THE STRANGE PLANET WOODLAND NATURE THING, I GUESS. BUT WHAT COULD POWER THEIR SPACESHIP?

hmm... "okay, uh, papitex, according to my research, we need to find this magic gem to power our spaceship."

"A MAGIC GEM, YOU SAY? CAN IT ONLY BE FOUND ON THIS PLANET?"

"...no. that would be incredibly unlikely that it only appears on this planet. there are billions of planets, papitex, i'm sure there's gonna be more planets with this specific gem on them."

"UGH, YOU AND YOUR NERD TALK! VERY WELL! LET'S GO INTO THE JUNGLE AND SEE IF WE CAN'T FIND IT! NYEH HEH HEH!!!"

so what would a pink alien jungle look like?

HMM... TREES HAVING MONSTER CONVERSATIONS!!!

animals with four legs, two arms and three tails.

AND THEY LAY EGGS THAT LOOK LIKE BAKED POTATOES!!!

and flowers that can water themselves.

AND OCCASIONAL FAKE GRASS THAT'S ACTUALLY A LAKE!!!

oh, those alien brothers are gonna fall in that so much.

I CAN IMAGINE PAPITEX FALLING IN THOSE A TOTAL OF THREE TIMES WHILE EXPLORING!!!

heh, i bet he'd get really annoyed at that.

OH, HE WILL!!! "GOSH DARN IT, WHY DO I KEEP FALLING INTO THESE DISGUISED WATERS?!?!"

"cuz the water's camouflaged, sir."

"WELL, CAN IT NOT BE? WE'RE ON A VERY IMPORTANT MISSION HERE!" WAIT, WHY WOULD THE WATER BE CAMOUFLAGED?! WHAT'S IT HIDING?

uhh... raccoon fish. and chameleon fish.

...THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!!! SO SANTROI AND PAPITEX... WAIT, QUESTION. ARE THEY TWINS?

duh, why wouldn't they be?

YES!!! OKAY, SO THESE TWO ALIEN TWINS ARE WANDERING THROUGH. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WOULD ENCOUNTER?

what?

CATS!!! CATS EVERYWHERE!!! CAT ALIENS WHO WEAR SKIRTS AND DAISY CHAIN NECKLACES AND NOTHING ELSE AND THEY POUNCE ON THEM!!! "AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaa."

AND THEY SAY, "WE ARE THE TRIBE OF UHH!!! OUR GREAT LEADER REQUIRES A SACRIFICE, AND YOU-"

hehehehehehehehehe SNRT the trihihihihibe. the trihihhihibe of uhhuhhuhuhhhh...

SANS, STOP LAUGHING!!! THIS IS A SERIOUS TURNING POINT!!!

hehehehehe, heh... sorry. hehehe, let's continue.

"WE ARE THE TRIBE OF UHH!!! OUR GREAT LEADER NEEDS A SACRIFICE, AND YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED FOR THE... SACRIFICE." SHOOT, I MESSED IT UP.

it's fine. "wait, what? why us? what could we offer to your leader?"

"BECAUSE, FOREIGN ALIENS, YOU, AND ONLY YOU!!! JUST HAPPENED TO BE PASSING. AND I DON'T WANT MY GRANDPA TO BE SACRIFICED, SO... IT'S YOU!!!"

"nooooooooo." hey, is papitex gonna fight out of it?

UM... NO. "NO WAIT!!! WE NEED TO GET THE GEM!!! YOU CAN'T JUST SACRIFICE US, WE DID NOTHING WRONG!!! MAYBE IF WE CAN LOOK PAST OUR DIFFERENCES, WE CAN-" AND THEN THEY INTERRUPT WITH, "NO!!! YOU MUST BE SACRIFICED!!! TAKE THEM AWAY!!!" AND THEN THE OTHER CATS COME OUT AND THEY TIE THEM UP AND THEY TAKE THEM TO THEIR TRIBE VILLAGE!!!

is this a deserted island story now?

...SHUSH!!! SO, THEY GO TO THEIR VILLAGE AND THERE'S ALL OF THESE ALIENS THAT ARE ALL DIFFERENT ANIMALS!!! WE HAVE, UM, LEMURS, TIGERS, LIONS, POLAR BEARS...

polar bears?

FISH IN POLAR BEAR COSTUMES, FOR SOME REASON...

heh. maybe it's to keep themselves warm.

GOOD POINT. SO, PAPITEX AND SANTROI MEET THE KING, WHO IS A LION, OBVIOUSLY.

a aLION.

YES!!! AN ALION!!! KING ALION!!!

shouldn't he be a chief?

I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE IT WORKS DIFFERENTLY ON THIS PLANET!! LIKE CHIEFS ARE KINGS AND KINGS ARE CHIEFS!!! AND CAPTAINS ARE GENERALS AND GENERALS ARE-

captains?

NO, PRIVATES.

papyrus.

NO, AS IN MILITARY PRIVATES! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BATHROOMS!

ok. i would really like a captain toilet, though.

LIKE THAT TOILET WE FOUND IN WATERFALL?

can captain toilet exist on this planet, please?

YES, YES!!! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE ASKING ME FOR PERMISSION.

captain toilet...

ANYWAY, WE'RE GETTING OFF TRACK!!!

oh, right. i'll be the king. ahem. "ah, thank you, my loyal subjects. you got me perfect sacrifices for our god."

"WAIT, MR ALION!!! YOU WON'T WANT TO SACRIFICE US!!!"

"yeah, we just wanna get some fuel-" "silence!" he interrupts them cuz... yeah. "silence, aliens! we needed a sacrifice, and you just happened to be there, so we're gonna sacrifice you now... blah blah blah king captain toilet stuff."

NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!

"unless you have a good reason why you shouldn't be sacrificed."

"HMM... WE DESERVE TO LIVE?"

"ha, no you don't."

WOW!!!

what?

WOHOHOWIE, I CANNOT BELIEVE... ALRIGHT. "WOW, THAT'S VERY HARSH OF YOU!!!"

"sacrifice now!"

AAAAAAA!!! OH NO!!! HOW DO WE SAVE THEM, SANS?

uhh... the king's daughter comes in. and she goes, "no, daddy, nooooo!" like you see in movies.

WHAT?!?! NYEH HEH HEH HEH, YES!!! SHE COMES IN AND IS ALL LIKE, "NO, DAD, STOP!!! THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SACRIFICING THEM TO, IT WOULDN'T WORK!!!"

"oh, i see. i guess we should explain the god, then."

"NO NO!!!" AND THEN... HMM... WHAT NOW?

uhh... she found a better sacrifice. yeah. a better sacrifice. "i found a better sacrifice, daddy! it's bigger and much juicer than those skaliens!"

SKALIENS?

yeah, like, aliens and skeletons? like aliens and lions? yeah?

OHH!!! "YES, DADDY, I FOUND A BIG..." UM... "A BIG DOG!!! A BIG, VERY ANNOYING DOG!!!"

ooh. "a big dog, you say? why, that's perfect. skaliens, i let you go."

"YAY, WE'RE FREE!!!"

"but only if you bring that dog to me." and then santroi is like, "okay!"

AND PAPITEX IS ALSO LIKE, "OKAY!!!" SO I SUPPOSE THEY GO INTO THE JUNGLE AGAIN...

yeah, but... ehh... i'm thinking they find a huge cave.

A HUGE CAVE...

and it's full of weird alien gems.

OOH!!! WHAT IF IT'S FULL OF THOSE GEMS THE SKALIENS NEED TO POWER THEIR SPACESHIP???

yeah, that's great. so is that it? they just take the gems and get outta there?

HMM... NO. WE NEED TO FINISH THE PLOT. LET'S SEE, UM... WHAT COULD GET IN THEIR WAY...

...

...

what about-

WHAT ABOUT A GIANT DOG?!?!

hey, i was about to say that.

REALLY?

yeah, totally.

I HAVE A HARD TIME BELIEVING YOU.

i have a hard time believing you don't believe me.

I HAVE A HARD TIME BELIEVING YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!!

i have a-

WE'RE GETTING OFF TRACK!!! SO THERE'S THIS GIANT DOG, OKAY?

"Bork bork!"

THAT'S A REALLY GOOD IMPRESSION.

thanks.

BIG, ORANGE... THE SIZE OF A HOUSE! AND THE DOG ATE THE GEMS.

"aw, man."

"NOOOOO!!!" SO WHAT DO THEY DO ABOUT IT?

take the dog to the alien vet?

NO, IT'S TOO BIG FOR THE ALIEN VET BUILDING. ALSO, THERE'S NO ALIEN VET BUILDING.

i think there could be an alien vet building. after all, this planet is full of furry alien tribes.

HMM... WELL, THERE AREN'T ANY NEARBY! SO WE HAVE TO, UM... HMM... FIGHT THE DOG!

"pump its stomach!"

"FIGHT THE STOMACH!!!"

jeebus.

WHAT? I LIKE FIGHTING THINGS!

you spend too much time with undyne, bro.

AND WHY NOT? SHE'S GREAT!!! THE THIRD GREATEST INDIVIDUAL IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!

oh, really? who's the second greatest?

...MOVING ON!!!

what's with the look?

MOVING ON!!!

ok. "hey, papitex, i think i know what to do. remember what we did back on galaxar x-9?"

"WITH THE SPACE PUPPIES???"

"yeah. tell it to roll over."

"OKAY, I TRUST YOU!!! ROLL OVER, BOY! ROLL OVER!"

heh heh. nice. and then santroi drops a boulder on his stomach.

NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!! THAT'S-

and then all the gems come out like a fountain.

NYAHAHAHAHA, THAT'S BRUTAL!!! I DIHIHIDN'T-

the dog's fine, but the gems are just pshheew, whooshew, whooshewie pooie woowie-

ARE YOU OKAY?

yeah. and they're flying, flying... and then they give the dog a good old belly rub.

OF COURSE. BUT WOWIE, NOW THEY HAVE THE GEMS, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ALIONS?

oh yeah. uhh... eh, what do you think?

I THINK THEY WOULD STORM THE CAVE TO LOOK FOR THEM!!! AND THEN THEY CORNER THEM ALL LIKE, "HAVE YOU FOUND THE SACRIFICE?!" AND PAPITEX IS LIKE, "NOOOOO, WE'RE NOT GIVING THIS DOG TO YOU, IT'S NOT NICE!!!"

didn't you want to fight its stomach?

FIGHTING IS ONE THING, SACRIFICING IS ANOTHER.

fair enough. but then what if during this conflict, they all run away to try and save the dog?

OH, AND THEN WE RUN INTO A CORNER LIKE IN THOSE MOVIES WHERE THE CHARACTERS ARE STUPID!!!

yeah, cuz obviously something like that has to happen. and then what if the dog, like uh, sacrifices itself?

BECAUSE THEY TRIED TO SAVE IT?

yeah, cuz we tried to save it. and then the alions are like "yes, this should do. goodbye." and then papitex and santroi can go back to their ship and-

AND CRY!!!

...and fix their ship, but yeah, that too.

BECAUSE PAPITEX WILL CRY.

why.

BECAUSE, SANS!!! I MAY- I MEAN, PAPITEX MAY BE A MONSTER- UM, ALIEN- TH-THING, BUT HE'S NOT A 'MONSTER' MONSTER!!! YOU KNOW, LIKE THE ONES IN FOLKLORE!

i get it, i get it. but what about this? they're fixing their spaceship, and boom! sudden laser.

WHY?

because the dog was actually an evil robot and it's gonna destroy the whole planet.

WHAT?!?!?!

hehehehehehehe!

THAT'S SUCH A PLOT TWIST!!! LIKE ONE OF THOSE CHEESY PASTRY TWISTS YOU FIND IN SNOWDINN BAKERY!!!

yeah, the place with the pink cakes, right? mmm, now i'm hungry...

FOCUS, SANS!!!

ok, ok.

SO, LET'S SAY THIS EVIL ROBOT DOG IS GOING TO USE THE HEAT FROM THE VOLCANO TO GROW BIGGER THAN THE PLANET ITSELF!!! AND THEN ONCE IT GROWS, IT'LL... EAT THE PLANET LIKE A GIANT COOKIE!!!

ooh.

SO PAPITEX AND SANTROI ARE LIKE, "OH NO!!! WE HAVE TO SAVE THE PLANET!!!" SO THEY GO WOOSH!!! POOSH!!! PA POW!!! AND THEN THEY TAKE THEIR SPACESHIP!!! WOOSH TO SPACE!!! AND THEN THE FIGHT IS ON!!!

up to the woofian.

...YES!!! UP TO THE WOOFIAN!!!

the space robot dog.

THE WOOFIAN, THE SPACE ROBOT EVIL DOG ROBOT... THING. AND THEN WHEN THEY GO INSIDE, THEY FIND A BUNCH OF... OF... SPACE MONKEYS!!!

space monkeys?

THAT THE WOOFIAN KIDNAPPED!!!

oh, so they're prisoners?

SORT OF. THEY WERE MIND CONTROLLED INTO ATTACKING US- THEM!!! AND SO WE- THE BROTHER ALIENS HAVE TO FIGHT!!! THEY HAVE TO FIGHT TO FREE THEM FROM THE... UM...

mind-controlling goggles.

YES!!! THEIR GOGGLES LOOK REALLY DUMB, AND IT'S NOT A GOOD FASHION STATEMENT.

yeah, and the colors clash too much. definitely not a good look for them.

BUT BEFORE THEY CAN GET THE GOGGLES OFF, THE MONKEYS CAPTURE THEM!!!

uh oh. what will they do?

THEY... THEY'LL COMPLETELY, WHAT'S THE WORD? DECAPITATE THEM!

what?!

NO, I MEANT IMMOBILISE. SORRY!!! I MEANT IMMOBILISE!!!

how?

BY... UM... TICKLE TORTURE!!! THEY PIN THEM DOWN AND TICKLE THEM EVERYWHERE, LIKE THIS!!!

wh- hahahahahahaha! hehehehehey, pahahahapyrus, stahahahahahap!

AND THEN THEY CAN'T ESCAPE BECAUSE THEY'RE BEING TICKLED TOO MUCH!!! OH, HOWEVER WILL THEY GET OUT OF THIS?!??! IT'S A TRAVESTY!!!!

hehehehehe *snort* wahahaha- ahahahaha! whahahat ihihif they- hee hee hee!

HEE HEE?! THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE DOING!!!

lehehehet me speak! hehehehehehe!

OKAY, I'LL LET UP A LITTLE!

goohoohood. hehehehehe! ohohokay, whahahat if papitex f-finds a lohohong, ahahaha, metal rod and juhuhust pokes the monkeys with ihit? hahaha, the monke-heeheehees!

OH, AND IF THEY USE IT TO KNOCK OFF THE GOGGLES, THEY COULD STOP THE TICKLING TOO!!! AND THEN THEY'LL BE FREE!!!

hehehehehehe! heh heh... y-yeah... phew...

AND WITH THOSE MONKEYS FREE, THEY CAN WORK BESIDE U- THEM AND FREE THE OTHERS FROM THEIR HYPNOTIC TRANCES!!!

yeah, they can do that while papitex and santroi go up to see the captain. and that captain is...

CAPTAIN TOILET!!!

...bro...

NYEH HEH HEH!!! I KNEW YOU'D LIKE IT!!! LOOK AT THAT SMILE!!! IT'S ONLY INDICATIVE THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE SUCCEEDED ONCE AGAIN!!!

succeeded, huh?

YES, BECAUSE I AM THE MASTER OF MAKING PEOPLE SMILE!!! ESPECIALLY YOU!!!

heh, you really gotta stop being so cute sometimes, you know that?

WHY NOT? MY INHERENT ADORABLENESS IS ONLY ONE OF MY MANY AMAZING QUALITIES!!! ANOTHER IS MY IMPECCABLE IMAGINATION AND MY ABILITY TO MAKE YOU SMILE, NO MATTER WHAT!!!

heh, and you're humble, too.

EXACTLY!!! YOU GET IT!!!

heh heh heh, so captain toilet, huh?

YES, BUT I'M THINKING THAT BEFORE THEY FIND CAPTAIN TOILET, THEY HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL OF THESE COOL AND DANGEROUS PUZZLES!!! BUT SINCE THEY'RE EVIL PUZZLES, THEY'RE NOWHERE NEAR TO MY- UM, PAPITEX'S LEVEL OF PUZZLING EXPERTISE!!!

so, no fire or spikes or electric mazes, then?

NO!!! THEY ARE ALL LASERS AND AIR VENTS AND CONFUSING CONVEYOR BELTS!!! YOU KNOW, EVIL PUZZLES!!!

i gotcha.

SO AFTER ALL OF THAT, SANTROI AND PAPITEX FINALLY WALK UP TO THE FINAL BOSS!!! THE ONE!!! THE ONLY!!! CAPTAIN TOILET!!!

hehehehehe!

NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!

hey, what if from now on, we say captain toilet's name with that dramatic echo effect, like captain toilet!

CAPTAIN TOILET!!!

bahahahahahahaha!

PFFT- NYEH HEH HEH!!!

and captain toilet is just some pup in a giant mech suit.

LIKE GREATER DOG?

sorta, but it's not, you see, cuz greater has a normal suit of armor and captain toilet has a mech suit.

AHH... SO, THE BATTLE BEGINS, AND EVERYONE IS PULLING OUT ALL THE STOPS!!! THEY'RE ALL LIKE, "RAH!!!" AND "AAAAAAAA!!!" AND "WOOF WOOF WOOF!!! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE DOWN THE CAPTAIN TOILET WOOFIAN REGIME!!!"

but of course, papitex is the coolest fighter there, right?

...SANS.

it's true. papitex can keep up with everything captain toilet throws at him. heh, i would even say he's the strongest skalien in the entire penguin galaxy. wait, no, in the whole universe.

SANS.

and he's super good at blocking attacks too. he's really strong and agile and cool...

SANS!

who could live up to him? no one.

SANS!

he's probably the best fighter in- uhh... what's with that look? are you blushing? are you embarrassed?

NO!!! I'M NOT!!! ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE VERY TRUE AND OBJECTIVELY CORRECT AND IT'S NOT FLATTERING TO ME IN THE SLIGHTEST!!!!! BUT YOU CAN'T FORGET ABOUT SANTROI!!! HE'S ALSO REALLY TOUGH AND SMART AND VERY VERY COOL, THOUGH CLEARLY HE'S NOT AS COOL AS PAPITEX.

obviously.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS OBVIOUS?

what?

THAT SANTROI WOULD BE THE ONE TO FIGURE OUT CAPTAIN TOILET'S TRUE WEAKNESS USING HIS EXCEPTIONAL OBSERVATION SKILLS!!!

...aww.

HA!!! NOW WHO'S FLATTERED?

so you WERE flattered?

NO!!! WHAT I'M S-SAYING IS... PETS. CAPTAIN TOILET'S TRUE WEAKNESS IS PETS!!!

duh. so santroi starts petting the dog.

YES!!!

and then he keeps petting him long enough so that-

YES, LONG ENOUGH SO THAT-

PaPiTeX cOuLd ShUt DoWn ThE sPaCeShIp!

...

that was creepy.

LET'S NOT TRY DOING THAT AGAIN.

okay, so santroi pets the dog and is like, "papitex! now!"

"YES, BROTHER!!!" BOW!!! BOW WOW CANNOT CHOW WOW NO MORE!!! THE PLANET IS SAVED!

and then there's a dance party.

WITH CAKE!

and balloons.

AND DANCING!!!

and giant toilets.

AND... WHY.

it's a space party, let's make stuff up.

OKAY!!! A GIANT SKELETON BALLOON!!!

breakdancing unicorns!

A CHOCOLATE EXPLOSION!!!

ketchup cannons!

ALIENS WEARING COWBOY OUTFITS!!!

bubblegum lasers! bubblegum bubblegum bubblegum...

BUBBLEGUM BUBBLEGUM BUBBLEGUM... STOP SAYING IT, YOU'RE GETTING ME TO DO IT!!!

bubblegum bubblegum bubblegum bubblegum...

STOP!!! TOO MUCH!!! TOO MUCH BUBBLEGUM!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

bubblegum bubblegum bubblegum hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehe!

NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!

--------

As Sans and Papyrus broke down into heavy laughter, they ended up leaning against each other and rattling their bones to their souls' content. And boy, were they very content indeed. The Mettaton show was all but forgotten as the brothers embraced each other's company, both figuratively and literally.

[squeakyleftsneaker]

Watching Voltron for the 1st Time: S7 Ep 9-11

GUYS I AM STILL HERE, this goddamn show has NOT killed me yet. If you're new, here's the long of it, and the short of it is that I got into this at first because a kid I tutor loves it, and now I'm still here out of pure spite. Unfettered ire, and desire to unpack every little thing wrong with this show because it's consumed my life. I think about how catastrophically wrong this show went too often now. I told my fucking situationship about this show that's how much it bothers me. So here's the list of things I liked and the much longer list of things I didn't about this run of episodes.

I am not mad

Shiro's fierce winged eyeliner is really the only thing working here isn't it anyway I love Shiro's fierce winged eyeliner.

Iverson liking the damn dog is so real because me too

Keith and Hunk actually talking is very sweet jfc it's about time there was some interpersonal interaction

I will fucking take them bringing back the Sendak shit from alllll the way back in the day. That is actually good use of an established plot point. Finally.

Veronica teasing her brother is unironically great sibling shit

Teleporting space wolf is overpowered as hell but I think he is so cute n fluffy I forgive

Sanda betraying them was very predictable and I am okay with this, it's a nice enough plot point. I'm okay with it in principle.

Shiro geting his lil Captain Kirk moment from Coran awwwwwww. He's got a half-alien too! (I wish I was watching Star Trek rn. I fucking wish anything in this show have the joys of Captain Kirk. I wish this show had Spock. I wish this show had anything even approaching THE LOWEST LOWS of Star Trek the original series. I WISH I WAS EXPERIENCING STAR TREK FOR THE FIRST TIME INSTEAD OF THIS)

I like them using the lions remotely. We love astral projection and tripping balls in the astral plane as I've already established.

Okay cool so the Atlas spaceship is going to turn into a fucking robot mecha because if there's anything I learned from this show it's that "abilities I never imagined" literally just means "giant robot mecha"

It IRKS me. IRKSOME stuff.

Guys it still really really really bothers me they never swapped armor colors I really really am so bothered by the bayards not matching

Hey guys wouldn't it be so fucking funny wouldn't it be so fucking useful. Wouldn't it be ideal. IF THESE CHARACTERS FUCKING INTERACTED LIKE PEOPLE OMFG also like look me in the eyes and tell me that this show AT NO POINT investigates the fact that ONLY military people got to survive shit

Keith saluting is the most out of charcter bullshit I've ever seen omfg

I FORGOR THEY KILLED ADAM OMFG THEY COULD'VE LET SHIRO HAVE LITERALLY ANYTHING IN THIS STORY YOU MEAN TO TELL ME HE AND THE ONLY REAL PERSON HE TALKS TO KEITH HAVEN'T SPOKEN AT ALL AND HE HAS NO FAMILY ON EARTH AND THEY KILLED HIS WONDERFUL BITCHY EX BOYFRIEND???? BRO???? UNBURY THAT GAY RIGHT THE FUCK NOW

I REALLY dislike how they gave Shiro a Sendak-ass floating arm. That feels. So gross for him given how greatly bothered he was by being compared to Sendak. If I had any faith in this show it could be something interesting to explore but why would we ever explore something in this show!

Keith is just MASSIVELY out of character this is the first time in this show where something happens to Shiro and he DOESN'T go ballistic (among other things lmfao what have they done to him)

Did they run out of animation budget with the amount of still shots in this run of episodes

Bro I am so deadass if I have to watch another military planning meeting I'm going to LOSE MY MIND this is NOT going to make exposition dumps better THIS IS WORSE

I THOUGHT WE'VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THE FUCKING LIONS CAN PULL UP WE'VE BEEN KNOWN THIS THEY SHOULDN'T BE DOUBTING IT I'M– HOW DO YOU ESTABLISH THINGS AND THEN KEEP PRETENDING THEY'RE NEW

You're telling me we never see Keith and James kiss and make up and work it out on the remix? The remix happened offscreen? Homie I cannot do this anymore

This show really likes people fighting to have the same abilities, presumably to level the playing field. Lotor vs Voltron in their giant mechs, Keith vs the druid Macidus w the teleportation, Allura vs Haggar w the magic back in the day, so I presume they hit upon Shiro vs Sendak as a big final fight thus Shiro must have a Sendak arm. I think this is LAZY. You can have fights on an equal or even slightly skewed playing field with people having DIFFERENT ABILITIES! Those are the fights in this show that worked BEST!

They have nothing for Shiro to do :( give my unemployed king with the fierce eyeliner a JOB. They gave him a stupid ship called the Atlas bro I THINK SHIRO SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO SHRUG (I really do hate that book) (This show just reminds me how much I miss the joy of original Star Trek) (I really just can't stop thinking about how much more I like Star Trek) (They WISH they had A SINGLE interpersonal relationship on this show with EVEN AN OUNCE of the depth that Kirk and Spock had) (you do not have to read those two romantically if you don't want to the whole point of their relationship is that it's all and none of the options you think it is) (Star Trek did big ensemble cast big story sci fi RIGHT)

I like that their new "Well we don't know what to do with this character anymore" move is just to kill em off.

Dear reader I miss watching Star Trek so much when I watch this show. I really, truly, deeply miss watching Star Trek.

I really cannot believe how poorly this show has gone. I LOVE science fiction. I love retro sci fi. I grew up on fucking Heinlein juveniles and Star Trek and Ender's Game (god the way Orson Scott Card has ruined so many good memories for me by being a homophobic piece of shit. I am so unspeakably angry about it). Getting me to like a throwback revival of an 80s campy sci fi staple should be a SLAM DUNK.

The fact that I just. Hate this. Is MIND BOGGLING. THIS IS RIGHT UP MY ALLEY! YOU HAVE TO FUCK UP SO HARD FOR THAT. I AM AN EASY PERSON TO PLEASE.

I don't care anymore man I just need this show OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR IT'S BEEN WEEKS OF WATCHING EXCEEDINGLY POORLY CRAFTED WRITING AND I REALLY JUST FEEL SO HOLLOW!

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING. I have nothing. I have no rambles in me left, I have take no joy in this really. There's just BETTER STUFF out there. There's stuff that is arguably MORE fraught in terms of race and gender and yet still overall does a BETTER JOB at telling a story because this show was so RUSHED and can't do anything right.

I just. Need a bit of a palate cleanser. After this show ends I might liveblog a totally different piece of media that I actually like, because really, I am just so fed up with this show that it's making me question why I even liked this genre to begin with.

[abugsomewhere]

I’m feeling like crap so no writing will be done today (probably) so instead have sonic movie headcanons.

Sonic

- There’s always something hidden in his quills. ALWAYS. He takes a full chili-dog out of his quills one day and Maddie forces him to clean out his quills. They find crap he thought was just completely lost.

- Speaking of his quills, they’re always a mess. Think of eternally frizzy hair, now translate that into quills. The hair gel is a necessity.

- He really likes watching vine compilations and tries to drag everyone else into watch with him.

- He pretends to like first person shooters, but he actually really likes playing games like cult of the lamb. His favorite part is decorating his in-game area.

- (Based on a real hedgehog fact) Sonic’s purring sounds like rumbly huffing. He thinks it’s embarrassing.

Tails

- He’s the kinda guy to watch videos on retro game consoles repairs and modifications.

- He probably plays Minecraft but only with the Create mod.

- Tails stays up ridiculously late. Tom and Maddie tried assigning him a bedtime, but gave up after they found him with a new fully-built device for the third morning.

- He has a stash of trail mix. Brain food!

Knuckles

- He really likes Super Smash Bros. He absolutely challenges Tails and Sonic to play a match with him.

- When he learned grapes could just grow in a garden, he was overjoyed! There’s a mini grape garden in the Wachowski backyard now.

- He eventually gets the hang of sports and really enjoys watching games. The sport doesn’t matter, as long as it’s not tennis (he doesn’t understand what the hell is going on in tennis)

- (Based on a real echidna fact) Knuckles has a lower body temp than many mammals do. Sonic was concerned at first until Maddie told him that echidnas on earth also have low body temps compared to most mammals.

Shadow (general stuff plus “what if he joins the Wachowski family” stuff)

- He really likes rollerskating. Kinda obvious, but it’s very relaxing for him.

- Having been frozen for 50 years (and having only lived on a spaceship before that), he is kinda behind on pop culture. Sonic tries really hard to help, with… varying success.

- When he finally learns what a Hot Topic actually is, he asks Sonic to bring him to one. Turns out, he really likes the random pin basket (is that a thing everyone else’s Hot Topics also have? Just a basket full of random pins?) but not much else.

- He likes the sudoku app. That’s the only “video game” he cares to play.

- He’s a big fan of spicy food and coffee. Specifically those two. He probably carries around a bag of those ghost pepper espresso beans.

- (Based on a real hedgehog fact) Shadow’s purring is a bit more similar to a cat’s compared to Sonic’s. Loud and rumbly.

I had fun writing these. Please please please feel free to share some of your own headcanons, movie specific or not. I love headcanons so much :D

(I really enjoyed doing research for these little fact based traits, they were fun!!!)

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s6 episode 1 "the beginning" thoughts

season 6!!!! my goodness, how the time sure has flown!! i started this whole project in may of last year, and now we are in january! so much has changed! but other things have stayed the same. 

i have heard mixed things on s6, so i am a bit nervous. but i am excited to be reunited. 

i am also curious to see where exactly the movie was set after the finale of s5. has it been a while, or only a few days? has our little friend gibson been missing this whole time? what about diana- did she pull through? will we get to know more about her?

we need to microchip gibson so we never lose him again. 

(i felt vindicated when people told me diana isn’t a fandom favorite, LMAO. i’m usually the girl that goes to BAT for overhated female characters, but she just seemed too intentionally antagonistic towards scully)

so… this episode shall deal with our agents going on a hunt. well, they had best be careful! there are a bunch of different aliens and beasts on the loose!

(post-episode thoughts: my fury at mulder is 75% normal juni rage and 25% enhanced by me being sick and emotional, a fact i only put together the morning AFTER i took all of these notes. you have been warned....)

anyway. let us begin!

(previously, on the x files)

(and i STAND by my opinion that CSM has a very soothing voice, okay?!? googling this man so i can see if he narrates any audiobooks)

man, i forgot about mulder pushing spender up against the wall and their feud. ah, spender. i feel bad for him, but that doesn’t mean i LIKE him. 

OH, WE GET TO SEE CLIPS FROM THE MOVIE IN THIS RECAP!! and they are in such high quality in comparison to the DVD i borrowed!! wow. when i watch it again sometime in the future- hopefully not on a DVD from 1998- i cannot wait to see everything so CRISP.

NOT THE KISS BAIT BEING INCLUDED IN THE RECAP LMAOOO

but now let us begin the adventures of s6!

NOOOOO! roush!!! the evil biological company! their truck is out in the desert. and their guys are pissing. 

well. this happens.

sandy is sweating. bro does NOT look good. i know his ass is not making it through the night.

when sandy gets home, he cranks the heat up to 80 in arizona, which is WILD. then he goes to lay on the couch and shiver. 

AUGH!!! his hand is JELLY???? it’s see-through!!! i did not want to look at all of sandy’s veins!!!

is he having an alien baby, too?!?!

his work buddies come to fetch him later. we see a bunch of photos of him in his house wearing a lab coat and doing doctor-y things.

AWW, his coworker called him sandman. don’t make me feel bad for the dude who works at the evil alien biotech company…

BLEURGH. he DID have an alien chest baby virus infection thing. OH, this other guy is SHOCKED!! AND HE HEARS THE ALIEN HISSING AT HIM!!!!!

HE’S GETTING EATEN!!!!! NOOOO!!!! 

RIP this guy :(

YAAAY, the intro!!! felt weird not having it with the movie!!!

and it was shortened, but okay. i’m getting used to that.

ahhh, look at this computer on which mulder is examining something. is he looking at micro film?

OH, the sweet boy, he’s restoring the fragments from the x files!! this makes me sad!! does that mean there isn’t a huge box of floppy disks somewhere containing all of them? because it is the responsible thing to do, making sure you have all your files saved in multiple sources! well, we’re only a few minutes into the episode. there’s still time for one of those to be found

and now he is presenting before a panel. he says the x files were destroyed “several months ago”, which places us on a vague timeline. scully is here!!!!

“i see your renowned arrogance has been left quite intact”, says this dude on the panel, and HEY! mulder literally isn’t even being arrogant at THIS MOMENT, OKAY? plenty of other times he is. but not now, as he is submitting his report on this alien spaceship!!

“i didn’t see men in black” “well it’s a damn good movie” <- LMAO they are BULLYING HIM!!!

scully looks pained. 

NOT THEM GETTING ON HIS ASS FOR THE TRAVEL EXPENSES STOOOOOP BEING MEAN!!!

OHHH NOOOOO!!! he says that scully can prove the whole thing, but she can’t. cut to them fighting in the hallway.

mulder… you’re pissing me off. SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE VIRUS IS OR HOW IT WOULD MAKE ALIENS!!!!!! maybe you should have brought a camera to the arctic. don’t you BRUSH INTO HER SHOULDER AS YOU WALK AWAY!!! you were going to KISS HER like a few weeks ago!!! i won’t tolerate this disrespect. 

CSM is debriefing the syndicate on the arizona alien deaths, saying he made up a cover story and it’s called “blaming it on Native Americans”. classic CSM, world-renowned great guy /s

so, he thinks the arizona guy who gave birth to an alien chest baby accidentally injected himself with the virus, and now the alien is on the loose!!! 

man, the presence of well-groomed man is missed. RIP. this other guy is here, though. so that’s good. i guess.

CSM says he is managing the situation. will he be sent out to test his sniping skills?? can you snipe an alien?

skinner is coming down to see mulder on the computer… NOOO, he breaks the news that his reassignment on the x files has been denied!!!!! 

mulder's all angry, and skinner tries to clarify he’s not arguing with him, but raises the question: “when will you accept that no amount of pressure or reason will bring to heel a conspiracy whose members walk these halls with absolute impunity?” <- ohhh, a very good point…

so they reopened the x files, then denied his reassignment? are they going to assign them to someone else? or just close them again?? will they keep scully on them?

skinner said that the vote was unanimous… he must have been trying not to blow his cover as mulder’s biggest supporter… but i'm sure this still made mulder very sad

so he gets all his stuff up and starts to leave. BUT SKINNER WANTS TO HELP HIM FIND PROOF??? SO HE CAN PROVE THE OTHERS WRONG??

i told you!!!! that man is my uncle.

he says there’s a file on his desk in the old office……. and sure enough, there is.

is this season much darker in terms of screen brightness?

OH SHIT…. why is spender down here in mulder's old office? WITH DIANA??? “diana, back on your feet. i guess that’s the only way you can stab me in the back” <- damn. he's pissed.

woah, what? okay, i was imagining scully staying on the project and spender taking his place, which would obviously be awful, but diana taking his place is like, worse. so now is it going to be spender and diana? instead of mulder and scully? ew.

jump to CSM lighting up in front of a no smoking sign… he’s just fundamentally a bad boy. he’s walking in where some sort of surgery is taking place!!!

he says he needs the patient bandaged and dressed, even though this might kill them. OH SHIT! IT’S GIBSON!!! and he must be in the middle of surgery!!!!!

EAIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY HAVE HIS BRAIN OPEN………….

good lord, i nearly passed out. again, i repeat my grounding mantra: shoutout to the props team.

and he was awake, too………..

poor baby. 

AWWWW, THE AGENTS ARE DOWN IN PHOENIX to investigate the case that skinner left them the files on, and scully WILL remind him that they are violating state laws regarding contamination of a crime scene (she lets out a deep scully sigh, asking “why do i bother?”) yeah. idk either queen.

he sees claw marks on the walls!!! that does not look like it came from some bare hands. scully is not fooled by this claim in the evidence report. 

ooooooo, he finds a claw!!!!!!!!

“is that an animal?” “ain’t rupaul” <- LMAO I’M CRYING????????? 

mulder, i knew you were an ally ✊

(listen, both of those agents are bisexual to me. and maybe ace, too. depends on the day. THAT'S MY OPINION!)

(he hands the claw to scully very carefully <3)

feels wrong to see him in what i think is a polo, but it is hard to tell because the screen is so DARK.

oh yeah, let scully calculate the gestation rate of this hypothetical alien baby. under 12 hours!!! damn!! that is… quick. and also? how could a baby do all this, she wants to know? well. some babies are more equipped for violence than others. i guess. 

oh no! CSM IS HERE!! AND POOR BABY GIBSON, BLEEDING THROUGH HIS BANDAGES!!

please someone lay him down and let him watch spongebob. NOW.

gibson announces that "it" (alien baby) isn’t here. and that he knows CSM wants to kill him if he can’t find the creature. poor sweet little dude. they drive off.

mulder emerges into the daylight, and he does, in fact, have a polo on. but he is asking scully why she won’t believe him. MAYBE IT *WILL* TAKE AN ALIEN BITING HER FOR HER TO BELIEVE, BUDDY!!! DON'T RAISE YOUR GODDAMN VOICE AT HER!!

OHHH, SHE GRABS HIS HAND?? “listen, mulder, you told me that my science kept you honest. that it made you question your assumptions; that by it, i’d made you a whole person”

(okay girl, stay with me here now, but i think he meant YOU made him a whole person, not your science…….. but maybe she had to compartmentalize after nearly kissing him)

“if i change now… it wouldn’t be right, or honest” oh, scully <3 he has never deserved you or your kindness...

he’s being a whiny baby. like, i get it, and i understand. they're taking the x files away! and he needs to prove they are correct about aliens! but “i’m sorry scully, but this time your science is wrong” and walking away… 😒 which problem did that solve?

idk!! i see both of their points!!! this fundamental and ancient conflict is once again playing out, but can we focus less on the hows and whys of the situation and more on the “we need to get our jobs back and be bestest friends forever and ever, and also save that missing little boy and find some answers along the way”? please. consider this viewpoint. for me!

oh, let's go off to a nuclear power plant. again, very dark. noticing a theme here. it’s outside arizona. is that where the alien wants to go?

did they call the guy homer as a simpsons reference…? i see what was done here. well, something in the power plant is off. 

don’t send homer loose into the dark!!! the alien will eat him!!! especially while vague splattering noises are heard!!

CREATURE EATS HOMER……….

agents mulder and scully are on the scene. but so is spender!!!

UGH, he’s so ANNOYING: he basically says “i’m gonna get skinner censured for telling you some guy was murdered, now LEAVE” SPENDER!!! you are PISSING ME OFF!! 

(it made me think of that line from sharkboy and lavagirl: "mr. electric, send him to the principal's office and HAVE HIM EXPELLED!" <- that's what your whiny ass sounds like, spender)

and diana won’t let them in either, saying that it was "just a work accident". oh, so much for caring about the x files, huh? like you claimed in the last episode. you sound REAL invested now /s

scully gets him to come back to the car after he spits some venom at diana (“i hope you know whose errands you’re running”).

however, he says to give him the keys and tells scully to get in the car, and she gives him the most DIABOLICAL side eye LMAO. she is so suspicious of his shenanigans!!!

OH MY GOD, THERE WAS A REASON FOR THAT: SHE FINDS GIBSON IN THE CAR????? he’s out cold and she’s holding his head, calling him “sweetheart” oh my GOD????? 

wait. hold on. i’m emotional. hold on.

they take him to their motel, and she’s trying to smile at him while she trims off his bandages. he IMMEDIATELY READS HER THOUGHTS AND SAYS “frankenstein? really?” and DESPITE KNOWING HE CAN READ HER THOUGHTS, SHE TRIES TO LIE AND MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER.... OHHH, SCULLY

(this is still making me emotional. lying to the kid that can read minds because she doesn't want to hurt his feelings or scare him... knowing that she is the doctor that has to try and make him better, so he cannot know she thinks he looks to be in serious danger...)

he has some infection because they didn’t change his bandages and a fever, ohhhh this poor CHILD

so he ran away when they weren’t thinking about him!!!

scully, do you have antibiotics on you? is that a doctor-ly thing to have in your purse? please fix him. 

OHHH SNAP, HE CALLED HER OUT: “they were using me. because i can communicate with it” “communicate with what?” “you already know. you just don’t want to believe it”

actually such a fascinating narrative choice to have a child psychic call out her own internal lies… he’s too young to blunt his words, so we know they are the truth… getting to see inside what scully truly believes, even if she cannot admit it to herself, through the lens of this sweet angel with his poor infected skull...

(mulder nods his head to the side, indicating to her they must go talk privately)

he wants to take gibson out to find the Creature, but scully says he needs to be in bed under constant medical supervision; he is the evidence for the x files that can prove to the panel that everything they research is real!!

lowkey pissed me off that this boy is suffering in front of them so horribly and mulder wanted to go on an alien hunt.

so, they’re going to sneak him off somewhere. maybe to an alien hunt and then the hospital. but alas, who approaches them in the parking lot?

IT’S DIANA???? she claims to be alone. CAN WE HAVE A BREAKUP LATER???

she tells mulder that she took the assignment to represent his interests, reminds him that THEY found the x files together, and says that they should go find the beast right now. sure. whatever. you go find the beast, let scully doctor the poor boy. whatever. like i care.

he agrees to do just that, which i actually do think is morally wrong, because now scully has to play single mother to this sick boy. what if she gets sleepy and he is stolen from under her, like what happened with diana?

but diana and mulder are off to the nuclear reactor. mulder thinks that maybe the alien baby needs to be warm… maybe to grow?

so scully is with gibson, and he accuses her of only thinking about herself and what she can learn from him. “i’m a very special lab rat”, he says (deep and sad scully sigh)

OHHHH… these two are giving me feelings……….

gibson just wanting to be a normal kid, and scully wanting to take care of this normal kid who is sadly being used for ulterior motives, but also knowing that if she wants to keep her job and prove the x files, that she must test upon him, too... she must have felt so conflicted... and he must have been able to sense that...

meanwhile, mulder and diana are sneaking into a nuclear reactor. i hope they don’t kiss. i don’t wanna see that shit. 

do they have guns? like, good guns? what are they going to hunt the alien with?

he finds a sticky trail… while spooky music plays…. and the wrench from homer (RIP)

bro needs to stop touching mystery fluids.

EUGH he pulls out… guts??? 

but scully calls!!! they found evidence of the virus that she was infected with in gibson’s system!!!

is diana here to just snitch on their progress… with his gut haul…..?

NOOOOO!!! THE DOCTOR APPROACHING GIBSON IS GOING TO HURT HIM??? HE IS KIDNAPPED! AGAIN!!!!!!

SCULLY IS GOING TO YELL AT SOME DOCTORS ABOUT IT!!!!! THREE CHEERS FOR MAMA BEAR SCULLY!!! DON’T TELL HER TO CALM DOWN!!! GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!

the evil guy is taking him away in an ambulance while mulder and diana track the beast. and again, i’d like to know what their game plan is once they find the thing.

gibson is brought to the nuclear power plant as well, being forced around by his kidnapper, who wants to use him to find the alien. and i can barely see what is happening because it is so DARK. 

gibson is being brought into what i think is the nuclear core, where he declares that "it" is here. 

i’m gonna need this gibson fellow to make it through, okay?

mulder is POUNDING ON THE DOOR, telling the evil guy to open it NOW, you SON OF A BITCH!

diana wants to find another way in, maybe, idk, i don’t trust her!!!

AUGH, the alien EATS the evil guy!!! well. deserved, tbh. will the alien please NOT eat gibson, though?

and it seems that diana DID snitch on him??? she pulls her gun on mulder as the cops suddenly arrive??

IT’S TOO DAMN DARK, I CAN’T SEE IF GIBSON WAS EATEN OR NOT!!!

skinner is absent from the hearing in which the agents are being told they must not go near the x files at all, or else they will be immediately dismissed!!! and they are moved to assistant director kersh!!! 

who is this man.....?

i expect mulder to just hand in his resignation papers now.

EW, CSM IS HERE TO SEE SPENDER??? he says he doesn’t want to see him. but CSM congratulates him on handling mulder. and he calls him “son”. 

“simple but extreme solutions” bro is offering to kill him??? no... he says this will not do in such a situation

spender asks if he’s killed men... IJBOL! that is his whole thing, buddy. welcome to this show.

CSM says you cannot kill what a man stands for, unless you kill his spirit. can mulder's spirit be killed?!?!

mulder is back to investigating the scraps of paper from the x files. “it would help if you’d shut the door; it’d make it harder for them to see that i’m totally disregarding everything i was told” <- LMAOOOO

oh scully, always pushed to the side in his mad ahab quest: “everything we were told, mulder” <- YEAH, YOU TELL HIM!!!!!!!!

she thinks that diana is throwing him under the bus (her report makes no mention of gibson!! and lies about the body they found!! also, i think she literally pulled a gun on him when the cops rolled up??), but he INSISTS that she is doing this out of the goodness of her heart 

“and though it may not say it in her report, diana saw it too. and no matter what you think, she’s certainly not going to go around saying that just because science can’t prove it, it isn’t true” 

wait hold on… i’m emotional… that was so mean… why am i genuinely tearing up…?

scully just wants him to trust her…. and he won’t take her files, because he's being stubborn, but they are literally TEST RESULTS that prove his theories to be true……..

the claw matches the DNA from the virus and the DNA from gibson…. 

if it’s true, that means everyone is a little bit of an alien?? oh scully…. look at her…….. sciene geek...

back at the nuclear power plant, it’s GIBSON!!!!! he sees the alien going for a swim in the nuclear water!!!!! yucky. 

it’s hatching………… oh.

the end.

man.

i don’t know if i’m emotional on this fine evening, but i nearly cried at mulder disrespecting scully. how can you say that about someone, that they make you whole, and keep you honest, and then treat them like that? how can you just toss her to the side the minute someone else says what you want to hear?

like. what the fuck! i can’t tell if this is purposeful character development leading up to something or if he is truly being an awful guy. how can he go from trusting her with everything he is- his life and even his death, over and over again- to having a hissy fit because she can't prove the virus was alien? it's not like SHE is the one taking them off of the assignment! she is not the corrupt government! in fact, she knows better than anyone the reality of the corrupt government, considering they 1) KILLED HER SISTER and 2) TRIED TO KILL HER WITH TERMINAL CANCER THAT DAMN NEAR SUCCEEDED?

shakes my fist angrily… i think scully should get to bite him.

she NEVER blows up at him!! even when he deserves it!!! and he has!! a million times over!! but she doesn’t!! it’s his stupid alien nonsense that got her sister killed and nearly killed her!! why does he act like he is the only one who can see some bigger picture?? oh wisest of all men, mulder, enlighten us with your alien theories??? bitch!!! if i was scully, i would have had enough!!! i would need a break from him!!! i would take that reassignment!!!

okay, maybe i’m just really angry tonight. BUT I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE! we were making such good progress in the “telling your best friend you love them” department, that i truly cannot stand this!! you tell him anything he wants to hear and he’ll eat it up!!! sure, sure, this lady that you used to date CONVENIENTLY wants to save the project you just got kicked off of after dedicating your whole life to it. (heavy on the /s) BRO??? LET’S USE A LITTLE BIT OF COMMON SENSE.

grrrr, i’m actually gonna GROWL. i don’t CARE about your inner man angst, you HAVE TO BE NICE TO YOUR FRIENDS!!! she LOVES you and you LOVE HER, so you ought to ACT LIKE IT.

and they took my uncle skinner away from me…

oh, i just know that if i had seen this when it was airing, i would be SPITTING MAD!! i’d be on those discussion forums saying NASTY things!!!

man. i still feel angry.

scully and gibson…. she wants to keep him safe, but also wants to prove her theories, and he suffers because of it… poor baby… how she held his unconscious head, calling him sweetheart; how she screamed at the doctors who ignored her…. god…

see, normally i’d say “give them both a baby”, but right now i’m mad as hell at mulder, and he does not deserve baby privileges.

poor gibson… i hope he makes it out of that nuclear reactor.

also. spender. the most pathetic nepo baby of all time. is he not at all suspicious about why his absent father is suddenly making a reappearance? hello? and the way he just pushes people around with his newfound power? do you think CSM will just use him and then discard him like he does everyone else????

wow. much to contemplate. for now, i must sleep off my rage. stupid mulder in his stupid polo…

spender and diana are literally scully and mulder from shein.

[akingnotaprincess]

Fic: now (and then)

Read on AO3

Author: @akingnotaprincess

Fandom: Star Wars Bad Batch

Rating: ExplicIt, NSFW

Pairing: Crosshair/Hunter, Echo/Tech/Wrecker, Crosshair/Echo/Hunter/Tech/Wrecker (Cloneshipping)

WC: 10,565

Notes: For @huntressdarkness for Love You Latte. For @polyamships Multiamory March using the prompt soulmates au. POV Crosshair. This is an omegaverse soulmates (true mates) au with Alpha!Crosshair, Alpha!Hunter, Beta!Echo, Beta!Wrecker, and Omega!Tech. Takes place during season 3.

Summary: Crosshair returns to Clone Force 99 after he and Omega escape from Tantiss, but things aren't the same between himself and his true mate. He's not sure if it will be again.

Snippet: They entered hyperspace a few minutes ago. Crosshair let Omega pilot instead of himself. She seems to know what she's doing by what little he's seen her do. Certainly better than he could. Driving a getaway speeder? No problem. He could do it with his eyes closed. Flying a ship? No. Leave that to Tech and Hunter. Leave Crosshair and his twin to man the guns.

Wrecker.

The ship jerks, and Crosshair has to steady himself — grabbing onto the wall for support — to not fall down or over Batcher. The lurca hound doesn't seem to notice anything amiss and smiles gleefully up at him — her long tongue slobbering everywhere. He huffs and rolls his eyes. 

They need to think of their next steps — obviously, they both have their own ideas, but they need to come together to form a plan. They need to get rid of this ship, obviously, and snatch up a new one. Preferably one that couldn't be so easily tracked. After that…? There's a number of plans that they can do. So many options and factors that could fuck up their next move — fuck up their lives. One wrong move and they could both wind back up on Tantiss, or worse. Crosshair curses and curls his right hand into a fist in an attempt to control it — to make it not shake. 

Damnit. 

Better to discuss their options with Omega. He'll have to be the voice of reason, most likely. She has more faith and hope inside of her — the world hasn't broken her yet.

(Crosshair hopes it never does.)

He presses a button, and the door to the cockpit slides open with a juddering whoosh. He sees the back of the top of Omega's blonde hair. The kid doesn't even look back as he walks in. 

"The Empire will be able to track this vessel," Crosshair informs her of the most obvious fact. "We'll have to ditch it." 

"We will. We're heading to a remote location. I sent a coded transmission for our brothers to meet us there." 

The only sounds in the cockpit are the normal hums of a spaceship and the clicks of buttons being pressed and Batcher's whimpers. Crosshair takes a few steps forward, laying his hand on the back of the pilot seat that Omega is occupying. "Omega," Crosshair sighs. He doesn't want to give her hope if there's none to be found. "It's been months. They might not be alive — " 

"They'll be there," she snaps, turning to face him — eyes stern. She says more softly, "They'll be there." She faces away from him, diverting her attention back to the console. 

Crosshair is scared at the prospect of seeing them again. 

Batcher nuzzles his shin, and without thinking, Crosshair scratches the top of her head. It's only been a few days, and he's found that he's enamored with the lurca. Crosshair has never really been fond of animals — not like Hunter or even his twin, Wrecker. It's something about the lurca. It might be because she seems to like him — why Crosshair has no clue. But Batcher does, and he can't help but return the affection. 

It's like that with Omega too. For some reason, after all he has done, after who he is, Omega cares for him. She has never once expressed that she hates him or holds a grudge. Omega visited him every single day she was on Tantiss.

Every.

Single.

Day.

She didn't have to. No one forced her to come and talk. In fact, he was encouraging her to stop coming, to give up on him.

But she never did.

Omega loves her brothers, including him. 

He's grown to care for her too. Crosshair never for a single second imagined that he'd have a sister (older sister), a child that he cares about so deeply. He will, and has, done everything he can do to protect her. If their brothers aren't waiting for them, Crosshair is fully ready to take responsibility for her — raise her, make sure her needs are met, and keep her safe. 

The Empire will never get their hands on her. They won't. Not while his heart is still beating. 

"You're worried. You shouldn't be." 

"I'm not worried," he lies. Crosshair knows that his statement is razor-thin and that it wouldn't fool Omega. He doesn't want to, he realizes. She's seen him for who he is and… accepts him, unconditionally. "I don't see a single reason not to be worried."

He watches Omega press a few buttons, setting the ship's systems to autopilot. "Why are you worried? That they don't want to see you? What do you think will happen, exactly?"

Crosshair isn't sure how to answer her. He wants to be honest with her, but that doesn't mean he wants to tell her the grim, ugly truth.

"You'll see," Omega says as if he had answered her question and is giving a reply. "They're our brothers. We haven't given up on you. We want you back. It'll be fine." 

He wants to argue, correcting her on her ideal fantasy that once they're together, everything will go back to how it used to be. He wonders if she's telling herself all this to believe it.

"I betrayed them." 

"It wasn't your fault." His sister's voice is gentle but firm in her conviction. "It wasn't your fault, Crosshair."

It is, though, he thinks. It was all his choice. 

Crosshair chose to shoot his twin.

Crosshair chose to leave his squad—to leave his family — to leave his pack.

To leave Hunter. 

His Hunter.

His mate, his true mate. 

But would Hunter want him anymore? Would any of them? After all that has happened? 

Crosshair lightly runs his fingers over the bite mark from Hunter. It's scarred over, still as red as the day Hunter marked him as his own. It throbs during his ruts separated from his brother's. It throbs and aches and only makes the pain of not being with his mate worse.

Crosshair's hand trembles on its own, and he forces his hand to make a fist, willing it to steady. It takes several long seconds, but finally it stills. When he looks up to see Omega's eyes, they are shining not with pity but only concern. His sister opens her mouth to speak; instead, a loud and long yawn happens in its place. 

He asks, "When's the last time you slept?"

Omega shakes her head, and her brown eyes widen in a poor attempt to prove that she's awake. "I'm fine." 

Crosshair rolls his eyes. "I'm convinced." Sighing, he says, "How long until we reach the rendezvous point?"

Omega swivels the pilot seat and presses a few buttons before turning back to him. "A little over three hours."

Three hours. He can deal with that. "Go sleep. I'll take over. Don't fight with me over this," he adds firmly when she opens her mouth to retort. "Go." Lightly kicking her shin to prod her out of her seat, Crosshair says, "Sleep. There's a couple of bunks in the back."

You're my sister. I have to take care of you, goes unsaid. 

Batcher whines and nudges Omega's recently kicked shin. His sister smiles fondly, scratching the lurca's head. "Wake me up when we need to come out of hyperspace." She yawns, stretching her arms into the air. "Come on, Batcher." She walks away, the lurca following at her heels.

Crosshair takes the pilot's seat, slumping into the uncomfortable cushion. The familiar blue lines speeding towards them as the ship travels through hyperspace is welcoming… and not.

[qcardhell]

comic based on an excerpt (

) from a .... fic...... 😭😭😭

IF ANYONE KNOWS WHAT THIS FIC IS CALLED OR WHERE TO FIND IT I OWE U MY LIFE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i dont know the name the author the tags NOTHING!!!!!!! 💀💀💀💀 fic summary under the cut 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

the fic was basically q and picard have a fight about. SOMETHING?? 😭😭😭 probs just about . Everything. anyways then q crashes picards retirement ceremony a few days or years later and picard also punches q in the face im pretty sure and then after that they also dont talk for years ?? also q fixes picards hip and gifts him a spaceship and picard uses the space ship to try and look for q or smth?????? and then q appears on the ship bc it was basically a death mission and hes like what r u doing and then they have a heart to heart at the end i think i guess ?!??!?!?!?! and they agree to not argue during the heart to heart and its happening at picards familys winery i think and it ends with them traveling i think also the fic switches between first and third person BRO IM LOSING MY MIND

i have some screenshots from the fic if that helps at all 😭😭😭😭 IF ANYONE KNOWS!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 god bless