#Woke up and thought my heart had exploded and that I was dead. Like man. Just let me sleep for a little while and I'll; be fine

[hugovlad]

Do any of my mutuals want to be paid $5 to knock me out with a baseball bat. Not only will it be awesome, I also need to get more than 4 hours of sleep so that I can stop daydreaming about introducing people's heads to a hammer

[creedslove]

THE GHOST OF HIM 💔 - HEADCANONS

Post outbreak!Ghost!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: besties, I put a Joel poster up my wall and I was in hopes of having filthy, dirty, obscene and explicit dreams of him, and yet, I had this sad dream about our favorite old man :( it was such an emotional and sad dream I woke up with my heart breaking for him 🥺💔

"Baby girl, please, talk to me... Why don't you talk to me? Why won't you even look at me, tell what I've done, I apologize, please just forgive me and look at me"

• Joel begged you, he walked towards you but you turned away from him, as you shook your head and cried. He was so confused at everything that was happening, it was like one day he left for patrol and when he came back nothing was ever the same

• he didn't understand why people simply ignored him, why they didn't look at him nor talked to him, but it didn't actually bother Joel that much, not when it was everyone else, but the moment you also didn't pay attention to him? that concerned and hurt him

• to make things worse, what disturbed him the most was that you wouldn't stop crying and he couldn't find out why because you ignored him, he was so confused, it pained him to be treated like that, he wanted to hold you, kiss you, make love to you, but how could he approach you if you wouldn't let him to

• time also confused him, he remembered waking up one morning and went on patrol, then he was ambushed by a group of people and this girl hit him on the head, and for a moment, he thought he would die, but suddenly he opened his eyes, looked around and everything seemed the same, he ran his hand through his hair and there was no blood, his head didn't hurt, so he figured the attack wasn't even that bad or maybe, just maybe he'd hallucinated the whole thing?! Or he got way too drunk with Tommy to remember?

• he remembered getting up and walking back home, things seemed so different and yet so familiar and he wasn't really sure, it took him very long for him to reach home, but he wouldn't really be able to tell, only when he got home and saw you crying was that he began freaking out for real

• Joel was so angry with that situation, he hated being ignored, especially when he knew there was something wrong with you, he tried calling you, drawing your attention, but only when he raised his voice and screamed at you, a lightbulb exploded out of nowhere making you jump and look around startled

"if only you were still here..."

• he heard you whisper and another wave of tears came crashing down your face, breaking his heart once more; when he was about to try and get your attention one more time, he saw you got up, putting on your jacket and leaving home. He didn't think twice, he stood up immediately and followed you, frowning the moment he saw the snowflakes falling all around you, he didn't remember the weather being that cold, he was almost sure it was still fall when he left

• when you got into the graveyard he was taken by some kind of anxiety, a deep fear Joel couldn't necessarily explain, but the moment you stood in front of one tombstone, was that he was paralyzed with shock and pain

"JOEL MILLER"

• that was what it said; the way you fell into your knees and cried in front of it, the way your fingertips traced the letters that formed his name as your body shook lightly from the cold and your cries and how Joel's tortured spirit watched you, how he still not believing what was happening and a part of him hoping it was just one sick twisted prank tried placing his hand on your shoulder, but you didn't even react to it

"please, look at me, I'm right here, this must be a mistake, a joke, a cruel prank... I'm here, your Joel, I'm fine, I'm not dead, please sweetheart, just look at me"

• he pleaded but his words were nothing more than just ghostly whispers, just like he was now. After a few minutes, you dried your tears, sniffing and taking a deep breath

"I love you, Joel, I always will, I love you very much"

• you professed your love once more, and knew it was time to go back, you didn't want to live a life without Joel anymore and yet, you couldn't give up, not when you had come so far

• your life without him was empty but as the weeks turned into months, you managed to pretend you were doing better in front of other people, and yet, every night before bed you spilled tears on your pillow and as for Joel, it took him a long time to accept he was gone and he was nothing more than just a ghost, and even if he saw the light and he could swear he heard Sarah's voice calling him, he still couldn't move on, not yet, so he would sit by your bed and touch you gently, in his ghostly touch, until he saw you had finally stopped crying and drifted off to sleep

____

[ythankucaptainmccoy]

CoD: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader - Found

I felt inspired to write this today after being fired from my job that I put my heart and soul into for nine years. I don’t know why but all of the sudden I was like I’m going to do this. So here is the finished version of what I saw in my head. I hope you all like it and my inbox is open for asks or requests right now. I’m stuck on CoD men at the moment. This one will be featuring König as well.

—----------------------------------------

It was late when Ghost woke up with a start as he came out of his nightmare. He had been having the same nightmare for the past week after (Y/N) had gone missing. It was a standard mission of retrieval, but when he had taken a round in the leg Soap had to help him walk. That was when she had split from them to draw the enemy away. When they made it to the evac site she didn’t arrive.

Ghost was adamant that they wait, but Soap had convinced him they should go and that she would be okay. He slowly got up and made his way to the kitchen going through the motions of making his night time tea. As the kettle was placed on the stove he could still see her eyes and the worry in them when she made the decision to draw the enemy away. How he had begged with his own eyes for her to stay. 

It was the last time he would probably see her again, and that thought alone reminded him of his mother and brother's family’s murder. The thought of her dead and discarded made him suck in a breath as he felt the panic rising. (Y/N) would know what to do when he had a panic attack, but she wasn’t here. She wasn’t here because he wasn’t man enough to beg her to come with them, and that he couldn’t do this without her.

The screaming in his head was getting louder, and his chest felt like it was constricting. This attack was getting worse by the moment as he imagined her corpse coming towards him wailing at him. He jumped and fell backwards onto his ass scrambling for his knife. He held it in front of him shakily until his vision and hearing started coming back to him. “Simon drop the knife no one's gonna hurt ya’ here”, a voice he should know soothed.

The voice started getting more recognizable, but he was still trying to get his bearings. Then he recognized Price, the old man was holding up both hands when Ghost realized what was happening. He dropped the knife as if it had burned him and listened as Price talked him down. The wailing he thought was her was the kettle going off, and the panic attack had played with his mind.

After he had come back around Price had him sit at the table as he made the tea. Price was telling him that Kortac had a lead on (Y/N), and that König had volunteered to go retrieve her. That would make sense as (Y/N) and König had been good friends back before she joined 141. He nodded along as he listened to Price talk about how they coudn’t go in, and that's why Kortac had taken the job. 

After Price had made sure he was going to be okay he went back to his room to try and get more sleep. He rolled over several times trying to get himself to sleep, but it wouldn’t happen. He got up and went out for a walk around the base noticing all the spots he and (Y/N) would go to be alone. His favorite spot was the sniper training tower where they had had sex the first time.

She had been angry about Soap getting the better of her on sniping and he volunteered himself to help her. They had been dancing around each other for a year when he finally made the first move which led to them shagging in that tower. He smiled remembering how she had moaned and called his real name. How she writhed under him and how afterwards she lay there in his arms until Soap had called up making mentions of how no more shots had been fired. 

His smile quickly fell as he thought about how she may never come home. He kept walking, coming to the mess hall where he remembered her taking a ketchup packet hitting it just right to make it explode in Soap’s face and how they had all laughed. She was the light to his darkness and no matter what, she was always in a good mood until someone made a joke about how she should be home in the kitchen. He made his way back to his room praying Kortac could find her and bring her home to him.

***MEANWHILE IN SOME RANDOM ASS DESERT***

It was a hot afternoon and (Y/N) was trying to stay alive in a hostile environment. She had been captured right after Ghost and Soap had made their safe extract, but escaped and made it into the desert outside of the major city. She had to wait for nightfall before she could go into the city to steal some food or anything else she may need. To be honest she missed them, but there was no way she could get word to her team without possibly compromising them. 

(Y/N) missed being on base, missed the others, but she truly missed Simon. She wanted to be at base sneaking into his room or him into hers to help each other sleep. She thought back on the first time she had sex with him in that sniper tower, and how he had her writhing and moaning. (Y/N) wanted to lay her head on his chest and relax because she knew that right now he would be having a hard time sleeping.

The sun slowly set and soon she would be making her move. She needed more water so her first stop would be the well at the edge of the city. Then she needed to get food and more bandages. (Y/N) knew where she could get the bandages, the food was going to be tricky. She started making her way towards the city. She checked with her binoculars to see the well only to find it guarded. 

“Shit they got wise”, she murmured. Well she would have to sit and wait to see if they would leave or stay. It got dark and they stayed, making her decide to go back to her small encampment. It was far enough away to get a fire going. If she didn’t die of dehydration the night would certainly make her freeze to death. She sat at the encampment praying that she could go into the city the next night to scavenge.

The night passed by and (Y/N) tried to find shade in the small dilapidated stable. It was where she would sleep during the day. Her stomach kept waking her up as it cried for sustenance, but she didn’t have anything to satiate it. If and when she made it home she was going off base to her favorite pub to have a burger and good bourbon. If Gaz and Soap were here they would at least be cracking jokes and trying to cheer her up. She fell asleep again and didn’t wake until right before sunset. She got up and started the walk back towards the city.

The city seemed clear as far as She could tell. The men who had been guarding the well weren’t there now. (Y/N) watched for a couple more minutes just to be sure, and once sure she raced to the well. The water rippled when she bent down cupping her hands, and sucking down water. She drank until her stomach started to cramp. Once her thirst was quenched she darted from alley to alley until she reached a drug store. 

(Y/N) knew that the back store room didn’t lock because she was the one who had broken it the first time she broke in. Under the cover of darkness she slipped in and scoured the shelves grabbing what she needed and filled her pack even taking some bottled waters. She made her way to the back pharmacy where the locked door was, but couldn’t get in. The fridge back there had to have some penicillin which she could use, but she would just have to go without. 

She slipped back out into the alley and started taking note of where she needed to head next. There was a market a couple streets over that sold some raw meats. Some of the shops would be closing up so she had to be quick. She made her way to the markets, but they were all closed. They must have had them close up to keep her options limited.

There was nothing left, not even scraps that she could pick from. This was a failure, but she had to move on. Just as she started back the way she had come from a truck pulled up across the street and armed men climbed out. “Shit shit shit”, (Y/N) cursed. She was going to have to be careful making her way back to her camp unless she wanted to be captured again or worse.

She rounded the last corner when she saw a man looking in her direction. She ducked back into the alley, but he had already alerted his comrades to her position. When the man rounded the corner she ducked down and went for his legs making him fall over her. He dropped his rifle and they rolled in the alley trying to get to it. She could hear the other men approaching when she finally headbutted the man. 

(Y/N) scooped up the rifle and fired a round into the man's skull. She encountered two more men that she quickly dispatched. There was another truck still running, and seeing her opportunity she took it. She hopped into the driver's side and tore out of the city as fast as she could. There was no way she could stay near the city now that they were certain she was there. She continued on for several miles hoping to come across a small village.

There was no such luck, and she was starting to get tired. When she looked at the truck's dash she saw that it was around five in the morning. She continued for a short amount of time when she saw a small house in the distance. The road had disappeared a long time ago and hopefully this small house was unoccupied. When she pulled up she shut the truck off, and grabbed the rifle. 

After clearing the house it was in fact abandoned. It wasn’t all that dilapidated and the bed looked inviting, but her paranoid brain wouldn’t let her sleep there. She took the cushions on the old couch downstairs, and took them to the pantry that unfortunately was empty and placed them on the floor. She drank some water as she grabbed an old curtain covering a doorway and put it in the old pantry on top of the couch cushions then placed the backpack in the far back.

(Y/N) watched the sun rise as she checked on her wound. It needed new bandaging, and she wrapped it with the bandages she had taken. The wound seemed to be festering as it oozed some. Once it was wrapped she went back inside to crawl into the pantry closing the door behind her. She lay her head on the backpack and pulled the curtain over her like a blanket keeping the rifle beside her just in case. The hunger pains were growing, but there was nothing she could do as she slipped off into sleep.

Little did she know that a friend of hers was looking for her in the city she just fled. She woke a few hours later, shivering. She knew she had a fever since she was shivering and it was the hottest part of the day. She lifted her shirt and unwrapped the bandages to see the wound was red around the edges. It also had some discharge and she knew that it wasn’t a good sign. (Y/N) knew she was more likely to die of infection at this point. 

She should have broken into the pharmacy for the penicillin after all. She pulled the makeshift blanket higher and relaxed back in her makeshift mattress. Sleep came easy as her fever got worse. Mumbling in her sleep as the fever continued to ravage her body. A noise and her eyes slowly and lazily fluttered open. It had to be a hallucination she definitely didn’t hear footsteps through the house.

The footsteps were going all around the house, but then they started towards her hiding place. She sat up with a lot of effort that had her breathing heavily, and grabbed the rifle. Lifting it made pain sear through her, and she had just pointed at the door where the footsteps stopped. She held the rifle up as she listened for the person to walk away, but her body gave out causing her to drop the rifle. 

The clattering and her gasp from the pain had the stranger on the other side almost ripping the door off its hinges. She reached for the rifle again, but the stranger was quicker and stepped on it as she tried to pull it from the floor. Pain erupted in her body as the adrenaline left her and weakness hit her like a truck. She collapsed backward as her world spun and started to darken. She tried to keep the darkness at bay, but it consumed her.

(Y/N) started to come around as something cool touched her brow. When she opened her eyes she could see someone with their back turned toward her. One small lantern sat in the corner set on the dimmest setting. She had to get out of here not knowing what this person had planned for her, but when she went to move her strength was almost non-existent and let out a groan. The stranger whipped around and quickly shone a bright light into each eye.

(Y/N) tried to focus her eyes as the figure started talking in a language that sounded familiar, but quickly switched to English. Then a name hit her as her vision cleared some more and she could see the blue eyes and sniper hood. “ König?”, she rasped. “Easy Mause you need to rest”, he told her. “How… how did you find me?”, she coughed. “Your new friends asked me to come fetch you, but you are not fit for travel, and I don’t want to risk you dying on the trip to the extraction zone”, he relayed. 

“We should move now” she told him. “No Mause you have had a high grade fever and you need to rest. Not to mention you have stopped breathing on me twice already to the point of needing resuscitation”, he argued. “I feel… fine”, she said, sitting up with a harsh wince. “No Mause I thi…”, König didn’t get to finish as she got up and walked out of the tent. He quickly followed as she walked towards the truck he had hidden under a desert camo tarp. 

He watched as she got half way and swayed on her feet then down to her knees. He raced forward sliding to her as her upper body fell sideways. He cradled her against him as he looked her over. She was a ghostly pale color and shaking even though she was sweating. He quickly hauled her up and took her back into the tent where he checked the wound. He changed the bandages and made sure the wound was clean. 

When she woke again this time she was alone in the tent, but she could hear König moving around outside. He seemed frantic with his movements so (Y/N) pulled herself up and slowly got out of the tent. “What are you doing?”, she questioned. “I should have listened to your advice last night, Mause. They have some small patrols looking for you”, he relayed as he packed the gear into the truck. She swayed slightly as her strength started waning. 

König took notice right away quickly scooping her up and putting her in the passenger seat of the truck. “Stay here while I get the tent put away”, he ordered. She sat and watched the horizon when she noticed a cloud of dust. “König leave the tent there’s a patrol headed straight for us. He whipped up looking in the direction (Y/N) gestured to. He leapt into action running to the driver side while she started the engine. Flooring it caused the truck to lurch forward and (Y/N) groaned.

She watched as König radioed in for extraction and that there were enemies gaining. Confirmation came over the radio back to him as a Pave Low appeared on the horizon. Gunfire whizzed past their heads, but König pressed on. Sliding to a stop he pulled his gun out of the truck returning fire as he yelled at (Y/N) to head for the heli. She was almost there when she heard the grunt and impact of a body falling behind her. 

When she turned König was on his back still firing back as he yelled again for her to go. “I’m not leaving you behind damnit!”, she yelled above the heli. She grabbed him and dragged him as pain lit up in her side. She was sweating from the pain as he continued returning fire. She heard the ramp lower and gunfire coming from the ramp. She could feel the blood starting to ooze from the torn stitches. Tunnel vision had started and she could feel her strength fading, but she was so close. She couldn’t do it. She screamed in frustration and pain as she felt the impact of the ground. 

Somewhere she could hear a familiar voice as König was yelling at her to leave him. It all happened so fast she saw someone grab König as someone else provided cover fire. Then she felt weightless as her vision wavered. She lifted her head briefly and was met with another masked figure, but those eyes looked so familiar, but why she didn’t know. 

The weightlessness left as she was placed on some blankets, but she could still feel the cold metal under her from the heli. She could hear more yelling as she tried to get herself to sit up. She reached out trying to find something to help her when a hand held hers. She felt the heli lurch upwards and away as her vision and head swam trying to make sense of everything.

Then she heard a voice shouting and she knew that voice it was Soap, but he shouldn’t be here then she recognized Nikolai yelling back to him. She wanted to confirm that it was in fact Soap and Nikolai she heard, but she blacked out as she felt her shirt being lifted and heard the fabric being cut. Those deep brown eyes she saw earlier while being carried into the helo followed her into her darkness. 

Waking up was a complete bitch if (Y/N) was being honest the bright lights were killing her already pounding head. She took in her surroundings slowly noticing she was in a hospital bed and that there was a man in the hospital bed beside her. He was awake and looking at her with those blue eyes. “Hey Mause”, he whispered. Her eyes went wide as she realized König was maskless. 

He was handsome with black hair and those piercing blue eyes. “König your hood”, she gasped. “It’s okay Mause I trust you and your team”, he chuckled. She was about to say something else when she realized something on her other side moved. Her head whipped around to spot Ghost in the chair beside her bed. His shoulders were moving and holy shit was he laughing. “Simon”, she breathed in a whisper. 

“Hello love”, he said as he leaned in pulling up the bottom part of his mask. “Simon we have an audience and I haven’t brushed my teeth yet”, she mumbled. “It’s alright love”, he told her as he kissed her hard and rough. This went on for a few minutes until (Y/N) remembered König was trapped in here with them. Ghost went in for another kiss as his hand traveled down her side skipping over her wound. “Ghost! König is here”, she hissed. 

“It’s fine love, besides I think he is enjoying the show isn’t that right König?”, Ghost asked. When she looked, König was trying to readjust himself discreetly. “Maybe I should let him join us so we can share you when you're healed hmmm”, Ghost hummed. (Y/N) whimpered, causing Ghost to smirk as he looked at König. “What do you think, König, should I let you share her with me once she is healed to thank you for saving her?”, Ghost questioned. (Y/N) looked over at him with a smirk as he responded, “Once you’re healed Mause then you're ours' '. 

The nurses came in to check on both patients while Ghost watched from his chair. He had his woman back and the discussion that he and König had while she was still asleep was coming to fruition. He had known that König was attracted to her when they had worked together before, and (Y/N) had always made mention that she would trust him if they brought another person into the fold. He watched over (Y/N) and König as they both drifted in and out of sleep. 

—--------------------------

That's it, I hope you all liked the little twist at the end and maybe I’ll make a part 2 of this with the three of them. Until next time, I hope you all have a lovely day!

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Hi,

A very happy new year to you !!

Hello! ❤️💚❤️💚

A very happy new year to you as well! I pray this year brings you many blessings and great joy!

Please allow this to be an excuse for me to write a little drabble for you (my first of 2024) honoring the New Year! (I just keyboard smashed it in my phone, please forgive any typos!)

———————

It was the bloody fireworks that woke Harry up from a dead-sleep. His body instantly alert, hand reaching for his wand on the nightstand.

The colors lit up his hotel room once more as the next set of fireworks exploded through the sky, lighting up the unfamiliar skyline in Hong Kong where Harry and Draco had been sent on (and just completed) their latest mission.

Draco.

Harry looked around the room, a room which now seemed conspicuously empty. Without his permission his hand strayed to the other side of the bed. The side of the bed that Draco had crawled into when they’d returned to their hotel after the harrowing escape. Draco had slipped in under the covers next to Harry and murmured, “is this okay?” Like he was afraid of the answer.

Harry’d reached across the small gap to take his hand, nodding because he couldn’t get the words out, couldn’t say how much he’d longed to be close to the other man.

“Can I kiss you?” Draco had whispered next.

Harry had met him halfway across the space between them.

He shivered at the memory of how softly he’d pressed his lips to Harry’s, at the way his fingertips had trailed feather-light over Harry’s cheekbones, leaving a tingling warmth in their wake.

When Draco had pulled back, Harry had been nervous that he’d want more; more than Harry could give. But he hadn’t, he’d just gently stroked Harry’s hair back off his forehead and pressed another soft kiss there too. “Can I just hold you for a while?” Draco murmured.

And how was Harry meant to say no to that? He’d cuddled in and fallen asleep within minutes as Draco’s fingers carded through his hair. His last thought before he’d drifted off had been to wonder how he could have gotten so lucky.

He shook his head as he collapsed back on the bed, he should have known it was too good to be true. That someone would just want to cuddle, would just want to be with him, it was too much. Or perhaps not enough. Either way, it didn’t change the fact that the new year had arrived and Harry found himself as alone as he always was when the new year arrived.

He was sulking, considering having a proper cry, when he heard the toilet flush and the sink start.

His heart leapt into his throat, an unwieldy frog trying to escape the hands of a child who would capture it.

The door opened a moment later and Draco tiptoed out, closing the door with a soft snick before turning back to the bed. He froze when he saw Harry staring at him. “Sorry,” he whispered, honoring the warm-dark around them, “did I wake you? I didn’t mean to disturb-”

Another round of fireworks interrupted him as Harry shook his head, “the fireworks,” he said helplessly. “I thought you’d gone,” he said, hoping his voice held steady enough that it didn’t betray his grief over that fact.

“Did you want me to?” Draco asked, gesturing toward the door.

“No!” Harry said quickly, too quickly.

But Draco’s shoulders eased and he slipped back into the bed next to Harry.

Harry reached out and tentatively brushed his knuckle over Draco’s hand, longing to close the distance between them but not knowing how.

Draco cleared his throat, “did you know there’s a tradition that says whoever you kiss at midnight is the person you’ll be with until the next new year?”

He swallowed roughly, “I don’t think that anyone wants that responsibility.”

Draco’s tongue darted over his bottom lip, “seems more like a privilege than a responsibility to me.”

He laughed, knuckle still trailing over Draco’s hand. “I like kissing,” he whispered. “And I love to be cuddled and held,” he continued. “But…” he trailed off, swallowing past the shame and embarrassment.

“You don’t like sex?” Draco offered, voice warm with compassion and devoid of any judgement.

He nodded, avoiding his gaze.

“Harry?” he murmured, “can I kiss you?”

He blinked, “I’m not going to change my mind about it. It’s not something that can be fixed.”

Draco nodded again, “it’s not something that’s broken.” He shrugged, “you don’t have to want to have sex with me for me to want to be your partner in more than the work sense of the word. I’m,” he broke off and bit his lip, “honestly I’m a bit gone on you.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked, eyes stinging, chest constricting painfully at the thought that he might get to have this, might get to love Draco and be loved in return.

“Yeah,” Draco replied with a little laugh. He cupped Harry’s cheek, stroking his thumb over Harry’s cheekbone. “So, what do you say? Want to spend this year with me?”

How about this lifetime? Harry thought. But he didn’t say it, instead he nodded and leaned in letting Draco kiss him. They had their whole lives ahead, one day, one kiss, at a time.

[eris-snow]

𝐕𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥

Tags: Revelation (Deku's birthday series 2024), izuku x fem!reader, angst, Starlight, Starlight standing up for herself, tags what

Masterlist

8th July. Sun, Stars and Light.

---

“Are you joking? I thought you’d be dead by now. Or given up.” Isamu Suzuki complains you step into the blinding white room.

Another year, another visit.

“Well boohoo,” you murmur, rolling your eyes as you sit down on the armchair opposite him. “Thought you would have died by now, old man. How’s prison life treating you? From the looks of it, not great. Hey, wanna bet to see who dies first? Winner gets bragging points and a one-way trip to hell. You look like the kind of guy who’d die the next day, honestly. You should consider pulling the plug, if you know what I mean. Hold your breath and count to a thousand. End your misery, you know?”

The haggard man blinks at you.

Running a hand through your hair, you slump down on the chair.

“I need…I need sleep.”

A nasty smirk curls onto Isamu’s lips. “Finally getting worn down, hm? And from the looks of it, little blondie cracklefire has left your side too.”

“He’s gonna get Zuku killed.” You muse. “I wanna stop it, but at the same time, I don’t really. Once Izuku sets his mind on something—“

“He never wavers,” The villain finishes impatiently. “Yeah, yeah, you’ve used me as your therapist way too many times. Don’t you have one back at your prestigious school? Just because I’m tied down here, doesn’t mean I want to listen to your hormonal problems. You fuck up my life 7 years ago. I ain’t giving you shit.”

“Well, you threw mine into the 4th dimension.” You grumble. “You reap what you sow, and then some.”

“I still have my brother fighting for his life out there,” Isamu says, and at that moment, even strapped down and crusty in a white suit he doesn’t own, he looks a little more…human. “Yeah, that’s right. Your glitter sparkles hero society have holes in big blabber mouth security guards.” The villain hums. “You’ve had trouble tracking him down, right?”

In the truth of the matter, you didn’t know much. After apprehending Isamu’s brother from the attack last year, you’d handed him off to the police for questioning. With school and internships, you’d barely paid attention to it when he went missing again. Apparently, Chisuke Suzuki snuck out using his Quirk, and by the time backup had arrived, there was simply a blood bath and three stacks of officers.

When they woke up, all officers were chronically depressed.

Chisuke’s Quirk was the erasure of one emotion from a victim. Or at least, that’s what it was last year. You should probably check the files more.

“My brother’s Quirk is more powerful than mine, and he knows how to get by,” Isamu says proudly. “At least if I hold on, I know he’ll be out there, waiting for me.”

His words slip a small pin to your heart, specifically and thoughtfully chosen. It hurt more than you thought, but you couldn’t let him drag you down now.

“What, no snarky feedback?” His eyes are blue, cold, hard and searching. “Never thought there’d come the day.”

A twig breaks. A tree falls. The camel’s back snaps in two.

“Is that what you want?” You explode, slamming a hand on the glass. Everything is hot, from your fingertips to your toes. “Me to give you a speech about how even though I royally fucked up, Izuku will find a way to regain his memories through the skin of his teeth because he’s Deku? Heroes give up too, god dammit! And maybe I deserve it, alright? What? What do you want to hear, asshole?”

You back down to the safety of your chair and heave a breath. “I need…” You whisper, shaking your head, “to give up properly.”

Isamu barks out a laugh. “7 years and finally, something interesting. Nah, keep going. I’ve waited too long for this.”

Watch me break.

Watch me crumble.

“Hey,” Isamu says cheerfully. “If you do want to be put out of your misery, let’s make a deal. You get me in touch with my brother, and I can get him to use his Quirk on you.”

Now, it was your turn to laugh. Maybe this guy has gone off the deep end. “Why would I do that?” you scoff.

“Because,” Isamu smirks. It’s an ugly smirk, with his yellowed, misaligned teeth.

“He can erase your love for that brat, you rascal.”

—

After school that day, Izuku takes the liberty of racing back to his room to dump out the Post-It notes on the floor of his dorm.

It was mind-boggling, and an out-of-body experience.

Scratchy scrawls line every note, his handwriting and his words all spilling out like it was a ritual he’d take part in come fire or hail.

I’m scared to die.

I don’t want to fight Shigaraki. I want to forgive him.

I’m scared I get left behind.

Personal feelings Izuku had never penned down were inked on yellow stickies, little nooks of his own insecurities all laid bare.

It’s difficult for me to admit these things.

Ochaco and I aren't a thing anymore, we fell out of love.

Slowly, Izuku pieces together who you once were to him.

Someone trustworthy, someone kind.

But not all were appropriate triggers, and those that were are diamonds in a mineshaft. Most things were trivial, and the few that caused bone-shattering agony to his mind never tripped anything right.

Gasping, he tugs his necktie off and closes his eyes in frustration. Sweat stains his wooden floor a darker brown, and his hope starts to fade. The last trigger has him seeing stars as he gently eases himself back down from insanity.

“Give them back…!” He whispers, scarred hands squeezing his head as he glares at himself in his standing wall mirror. “Give my memories back!”

In a fit of rage, he swings the tin box holding the systematically stacked notes against his bed.

A flurry of Post-it notes flutters around him as the box slams loudly against his bed frame. A false bottom pops out, and so does a new section of Post-its.

15 of them, and they’re dated from July 1st to 15.

—

“Erase my love for Izuku?” You had to give it to Isamu, his hunches were always spot on.

“You’re always so adamant about keeping your memories. Heck, I think if I find a way to use my Quirk on you, you’d find a way to resist its effect as you heroes do best. But emotions…” Isamu laughs. It’s not a nice laugh. “You can pay the price of millions of memories with just one emotion. It’d end your suffering.”

You falter, and he sees it like it’s white on black. “You won’t forget him, but you won’t know pain, either. It’d go poof,” Isamu says, eyes electrifying as he dishes out the offer with the finesse of a conman.

It’s tempting, of course it is. This whole time, Izuku had always stood by your side not knowing who you really were. You couldn’t bring yourself to love him properly, just as he deserved. He deserved someone there, someone who could enrapture him like the Aurora borealis instead of someone as plentiful as the stars in the night sky. Someone who could share memories with him for a long long time.

That someone wasn’t you.

Accepting this deal meant moving on. It meant leaving your feelings in your glade and finally…

be free.

Not free from the memories, but…in a different way.

But then, your resolve hardens like steel. “You have some nerve trying to bribe me over with that.”

You stand up, anger cooled to an eerily calm. The world is silent, it’s the ocean's depth at the seabed. “Every inch of me, I cherish it. The good, the bad, the terrible. To rip a feeling out of me? Using heartbreak as manipulation? That’s low even for you.” You scoff, fingers sliding over the glass. “If I move on from Izuku, that’s by me, and me alone. I will never accept your side payback that’s dressed up as charity, because I will never let Izuku go through the pain I did.”

Fire burns, a torch of eternal flame; your love for Izuku, cast out because even though it’s pretty, even though it hurts, no one will ever admire its beauty.

“Izuku’s strong, and so am I.” You whisper, eyes locking with his. “I do not need you.”

—

The note that triggers it is not the one he imagined.

I don’t like Kacchan calling you Shortie. Kacchan’s amazing and all, but he shouldn’t make fun of your height. P.s. I like the nickname Zuku, too! You don’t have to tell me why you started calling me that, I’m just glad you do. I can’t imagine you calling me anything else.

Even so, he thinks through it. Zuku? No one has ever called him that before. Kacchan calls you Shortie, he knows that. But why does he say he can’t imagine you calling him anything else?

“Nicknames from first year?” He whispers under his breath. “Maybe I lost my memories last year? My birthday, obviously…”

Where does this point to?

Why the Post-it notes?

What did he call you?

His brain explodes as he writhes in agony again. Blinding hot pain, wax melting his skull—

Starlight, His mind lapses.

There’s another image this time, one of a willow tree in the same field. The branches of it sway hypnotisingly slow, and he can feel the breeze even though he’s not present there.

In a sandbox, building sandcastles under the night sky. Your name is Starlight.

“Your name is Starlight.” He whispers, his mouth echoing the word as easy as he were to say Kacchan.

The fluorescent lights sizzle, and something breaks.

The next thing he knows, everything is black.

[zer0inbox]

SMALLTOWN DEMON SLAYER,

from a shuffled playlist                   inspired by the southern gothic, the preacher’s daughter, and demon slaying. lyrics slightly tweaked for clarification.

i’ll hold my breath for three more years.

god loves you, but not enough to save you.

good luck taking care of yourself.

that's how my daddy raised me.

if they strike once, then you just hit 'em twice as hard.

if i bend under the weight that they gave me, then this heart would break and fall as twice as far.

the more it hurts, the less it shows.

i still feel like they all know. that's why I could never go back home.

god, i've tried.

if it's meant to be then it will be.

i forgive it all as it comes back to me.

i can't let go when something's broken.

it's all I know and it's all I want now.

you lost your chance.

with good luck, i'll find the dark.

it’s my primary instinct to protect the child.

i had a dream that it would end like this.

what's gone is gone and you can't bring it back around.

you can't illuminate what time has anchored down.

your divination should acquaint you with the plan.

all i want is to save you.

the space between us is as boundless as the dark.

you can't intimidate me back into your arms.

no one can hear me.

i can see that you want me going downhill, too.

you ripped me open, then you kissed me.

i adore the bludgeoned affection.

i swear, i’m the shell of a man.

my mom, now she’s a saint.

i killed them both, and they're buried under a sycamore.

you think I'm psycho, don't you?

i'm having crazy dreams again.

i woke up in his room, standing right there by his bed with my hands around his throat, wishing both of us were dead.

we will wade in the shine of the ever.

no one is born to hate, we learn it somewhere along the way.

hardly a maverick, lesser than average.

your vulnerability is stronger than it seems.

you know it's okay to have a bad day.

just get this one thing done.

i went to the bar to get a little closer to myself and learn things i never really wanted to know.

i want to be where all the stupid shit i say sounds so romantic and true.

i'd rot in hell with you.

live with me in this sin forever.

we take things a little far, but you couldn't name a place I wouldn't go with you. 

home is the last place that i'd stand to be with anyone but you.

beware the bottled thoughts of angry young men.

secret compartments hide all of the skeletons.

you know damn well where you'll go.

i want to be someone else or i’ll explode.

you want me? fuckin’ well come and find me.

you soon find you have few choices.

when i was a child, i heard voices ; some would sing, some would scream.

all you have is your fire.

don't you ever tame your demons, but always keep them on a leash.

i knew that something would always rule me.

i’ll make you a believer.

put me to the test.

you know i’m a forgiver.

i still hear you cry.

circumstance will decide.

you’re a ghost on the highway, and i’ll love you forever.

i want to eat out your bitter heart.

you gotta show me where it hurts.

there's a beast and a burden kicking, spitting on your bathroom floor.

good things die all the time.

god bless your heart, vengeance is mine.

kiss me like you mean goodbye.

so if I fight the good fight, will hairlines recede? will lines deepen in face to craft a look of defeat?

my little saturday night became a sunday remorse.

at last, my good friend, we are even.

don't you leave me in the ground alone.

but you and I will never find that peace.

it's too bad that all these things can only happen in my dreams.

if you want to scream, scream with me.

[boyakishantriage]

The ship shook violently, as I suddenly became aware of the searing pain across my chest, a headache soon filled my mind as it went into overdrive and then. Calm. As I always did, I checked my body. Nothing broken, just a couple of ribs. Blood streamed down my ears, as I quickly figured what happened.

We'd been hit, a laser striking the side of the vessel causing it to crash... The sound of wind whistling its way down the halls, we had 32 crew. 9 humans including myself in that 32...

A hand reached for a needle, with pins coursing through her body as it began to freeze up. Pushing past the function, she stabbed herself with the EpiPen.

Blood flushed through her system, as everything ran into overdrive. Heart pounding, she forced herself to slow down as she staggered her way down the hall. Gripping her diaphragm as she leaned into a door with her bag of drugs.

Sam lay on the bed, frozen as he processed what just happened. Then pain in his leg, as a bag was thrown into him.

"oi. Dick sucker, go wake up the others. I'm gonna. Fucking. I'm gonna go close the fucking hole." He barely managed to mumble his thanks as she walked out.

BZZT. BZZZT. BZZT.

Her sister called her stupid. Bringing a bag of EpiPens, a small fusion reactor and some bits and bobs of tech. Wearing a face mask, she fused the metal together, every so often swearing as she walked up and down covering the holes with spare doors, plates, panels. Anything that wouldn't let out oxygen when they got off the ground. Which would probably take weeks, then something caught her ear.

Something coughed, tall and lanky with a dark deer complexion, the engineer of the ship swore as he dragged himself towards the engine room.

"Uhh. What?"

"engine. Explode. Gotta. Off."

The man thing lost his strength, legs probably broken I shrugged and opened the door.

I dragged the deer man into the med bay, dragging the delirious doctor with me as I threw him into a pod. Bacta tanks, suspend the person and healing liquid helps relax the body speeding up healing. Shoving a strawberry into his mouth, the girl woke up. Spitting the strawberry like a pepper, because that's what it was in her biology.

"GAH. WHAT?" She turned to look at me, as I burped.

"I'm going into a tank. You need to turn it on before the adrenaline wears off. Ok?" I helped myself into the tank, as everything went dark.

The shadow realm. A place of darkness and evil, a well of black magic. Figures move around me as I stand over Tartarus. The deepest part of the pit, linked up to here and comes to what can only be described as a pit of tar. Tying my hair back, slitting my wrists I dive down.

"MOTHER FUCKER." I shouted in reflex, spitting out phlegm as the captain looks at me.

"... What?"

"we crashed."

"I mean. Yeah."

"but we're not dead."

"That can happen."

"... And our communicators are out."

The orc like woman took a seat. Probably having a breakdown. The slime nurse woman looked at me.

"she's uh. Been doing that for a while now."

"how many people injured right now?"

"like lethal? Uhhh. 1, but they're. Well."

He closed the tube, turning the machine on.

BOOM

I flinched, reaching for my knife as he paused.

"oh right. We need the engine for power but we. Uh. Couldn't do it without breaking it, so..."

"... I get it. But damn."

I turned to the captain, her head in hands as she appeared to be breaking down.

"so. I'm just gonna..."

I reached forward, taking her card.

I wandered the ship, soon finding a group appearing unsure what to do.

"Good morning."

"... Ah. Human Eleanor..."

He trailed off, the goblin like alien losing his train of thought as I looked around.

"Alright. Fuck this. Warg. Hey. WARG."

The goblin snapped to attention.

"yes?"

"Can you clean up the halls?"

"i- the ship."

"WARG. Stop thinking, clean the halls. We can't have more accidents, so make sure we can walk through the halls without getting hurt."

The goblin hesitated, pausing as he nodded.

"clean the halls."

"RI-RI HEY. YO. YOU AWAKE?"

I jostled the chef awake, the squid cousin to Dina the doctor snapping awake.

"uh- what?"

"how much food we got?"

"I- err."

"how long can we last with the food and water we have?"

"umm. Eight months? But-"

"ok. And if we ration it?"

"... Half a year?"

"great. Can you preserve what we have, make it last longer and organise the kitchen?"

"but-"

"Stop thinking about it, your job now is preserve and organise ok?"

I met Sam and John, the pair arguing as they always did.

"OI. DICK SUCKERS. GET OUT THE SHIP, RUN ANALYSIS AND FORM A PERIMETER AROUND US. BUILD A CAMPSITE!"

The gays looked at me, each other before shrugging and moving off.

It took three hours, three hours of organising and sending people to do things, at some point I'd handed out radios for people to call where they where, who they were and whatever they wanted to say. Most of the aliens were in a daze, with the other seven humans either trying to figure something out or arguing on what to do.

"Anthony. Find Wargo and figure out how to fix this ship. Liam, quit your bitching and go make a farm or something. Pashi, go with Tina and get everyone in the right headspace. Here's a radio, get them into the cafeteria. Saw, go out and help John and Sam. Onion, come with me to the cafeteria."

The others broke off, as the captain began gaining her senses.

"the ship-

"Shut up. We're going to the cafeteria."

[ophelia-jones]

Multiple partners M/F/M, oral, anal, dubious consent 18+ only

Late kinktober submission.

Its a one shot, but connected to my fic 'looking in' over on ao3.

Fantasies

Paisley stretched out on the sofa, her head in Negan's lap as he smoothed her hair with those magic hands of his. She sometimes wondered if this were all just some wonderful fever dream. If it was, how far back would she find herself when she woke? Before Alexandria? Before the Saviors? Before she left England at all?

Sure, if that were the case, the world would go back to normal. No walking dead to contend with, plus The NHS, pubs, and shops would still be around. Her heart no longer ached for such things, though. The very idea of Negan being nothing more than a figment of her fevered imagination made it hard to breathe.

Bizarre as it seemed, she wouldn't want to wake up to that other world now. For all of the things she had there, it wasn't home. This, right here? This was home. Negan was home. Alexandria was home.

"What's going on in that twisted little brain of yours?" Negan asked with a soft smile as he gazed down at her with a look she would never believe was just for her. It made her feel everything all at once, and sometimes, she thought she might explode with so much emotion.

"Nothing much," she sighed contentedly.

"I don't believe that for one fucking second," he told her with a playful little smile. She loved it when he did that - murmured to her practically without moving his lips. It showed off his devilish nature so well; maybe because it was his eyes doing the talking.

"You're not getting bored of this old fucking man, are you?" He teased. Paisley knew this was no moment of self doubt but his way of drawing her into his web. He wanted her to lavish him with praise and kisses. Most likely, she thought as she flashed a twisted smile up at him, he wanted her to suck him off - since she was already down there, and all, he would say.

"Maybe," she teased, watching Negan's eyes widen with surprise.

"Really?" He said. It wasn't a question but a challenge. Paisley shrugged and feigned indifference to the subject.

"I mean, who doesn't like to order alacarte from time to time?" She couldn't suppress the giggle that her game had brought out.

"Uh-huh," Negan smacked his lips and nodded at her, arching an eyebrow. "Just what sort of thing are you thinking of ordering?"

"You want to know if I have any dirty fantasies I keep to myself?" She replied. "Sure, but that's it. A dirty mind wandering down dark alleyways and guinels that should never see the light of day. I'm sure you have plenty."

"Sweetheart, you have NO I-fucking-dea!" Negan laughed. "But we're talking about you right now. What twisted little kink soaks your panties when I'm not in them?"

"I…" Paisley paused and looked up at him, trying to guage his openness to the things she let her mind consider when she wanted to tease her own boundaries. The sort of things a person would think about but most likely never actually do.

"Come on, I'm no wilting violet, punk. Lay it on me," Negan urged.

"I might've imagined a threesome once or twice," she told him.

"That's pretty tame, Paisley - I expected some weird fucking shit. Hell, you got anyone in mind? You know me when it comes to pussy, the more the hornier."

"Sorry old man, I am just not into pink tacos. Nothing against women who are, it just doesn't do anything for me," she told Negan, reaching up to trace his jawline absent-mindededly. His eyes widened only slightly and she felt him shift his weight under her head.

"You think about taking on two cocks at once, huh?" He asked. "My, my but you do have a surprise or two left in you. How exactly do you imagine that shit would go down?"

"How do you think?" Paisley turned the tables. "What do you think it would be? I'll tell you if you're hot or if you're cold."

"Oh-ho mmmm… alright, I can play fucking ball," Negan smiled crookedly at her. He slipped one hand up along her side and under her shirt, kneading gently at one breast and rolling her nipple between his fingers. He described the way he imagined such a thing might go.

Rick has come to check on Paisley while Negan is out on recognizance and has been gone a few days. He has interrupted her shower and so she answers the door in a towel. Rick can't control himself, he's driven mad with lust and kisses Paisley ferociously, stripping her of her towel…

"Be serious!" Paisley laughed, slapping Negan lightly on his cheek.

"OK, so what was wrong with that?" He laughed sincerely. "Was it… the person? The setting? Enlighten the fuck outta me, here, punk."

"Well, I can't say Rick would be the first man I thought of," she told him lightly, grabbing his hand and guiding it down to cup her ass instead. "And it's not a cheap porno!"

"Really? Ok, I'm fucking stumped. I'm just going to keep my hands busy and my fucking mouth shut while you spell out your threesome for me," Negan told her, slipping his hand down her pants and between her legs and finding her wet and yielding.

"That's not distracting at all," Paisley moaned.

"Tell me," Negan demanded softly.

**************************************

Paisley stood, naked except for her thigh-high stockings, and admired her knotwork. Daryl could move only slightly and had no chance at all of getting loose from his bindings. The sight of his primal, rock-hard body, already naked and flexing against the ropes that bound his hands to the headboard and feet to the footboard. He was already stirring; not wanting to be excited by this but unable to help himself.

Paisley crawled onto the bed, dragging her hair along the length of his firm legs and over his now fully erect cock, then along his belly and chest, hitting him in the face with it as she tossed it back out of her face.

Suddenly, the door opened, and Negan stood there staring at the scene.

"Untie me," Daryl says quietly to her.

"Don't let me interrupt," Negan grinned; a slightly sideways smile, the one that always meant trouble. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door jamb. "I'll just wait my fucking turn for this ride."

"The fuck you will," Daryl growled, straight into against his bonds. "Paisley, untie me NOW!"

"Negan, you ass hole. You said I could have a hall pass today," Paisley griped at her husband as she freed one of Daryl's hands.

"I didn't say shit about stopping, did I? I am a man of my word! But hell, darlin', I figured the least you could do is let me watch."

Paisley glanced back and forth between the two, a smile slowly forming on her face.

"You serious about this?" Daryl growled at her.

"Could be fun," she replied.

"Come on, you know you want to give it to me by giving it to my girl," Negan taunted sitting in a chair in the corner.

"Untie me," Daryl told Paisley again. She sighed in disappointment but did as he said. She didn't want to traumatize the man, she had just wanted a little excitement. As soon. As Daryl's hands were free, they were in her hair. He pulled her head back and kissed her forcefully. She squealed in surprise but then relaxed into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. Soon, he pushed her down, shoulders back against the mattress and slid down her body to drape her thighs over his shoulders and begin licking and sucking at her wet, throbbing cunt as if he were devouring a sticky sweet overripe peach.

"Oh, sweet fucking heaven! Don't stop, Daryl, just… like… that!" She screamed, her hands in her hair and her back arched as she closed her thighs around his head. She came hard against his tongue and he pulled away to lie on his back before pulling her up on top and guiding her to impale herself on his rigid member. As she began to ride him hard and slow, she heard the sound of Negan undressing behind her. She shivered with excitement and anticipation as she hoped she knew what he had in mind.

Negan knelt on the bed behind her and slid one long fingers hand over the curve of her ass before tapping a finger against her asshole to test her willingness. Daryl frowned up at Negan from under Paisley but his eyes refused to stay focused for long as she pulled up until he was almost not in her at all anymore and then crashed down hard to smash herself against his entire generous cock.

"Let me know if this hurts," Negan told her softly as he slipped one finger in, slowly spreading the resistant orifice and making her feel so full she might split in two. Slowly he used his fingers to encourage her to open wider as he lubed his cock - he had barely touched her, but was hard as a rock from watching them. She froze for a moment when she felt the tip pushing in.

"OK, ok…" Negan murmured, pausing to allow her time to adjust. Inch by inch he pushed in a little further as she rocked herself against Daryl until both men were deep inside of her.

Paisley had tears in her eyes from the intensity of the feeling. Negan, on his knees behind her, grabbed a handful of her hair and twisted. He pulled her head back toward him and began to ride her now. Through the thin membrane of skin between her entrances, Negan could feel his cock against Daryl's as he took control. He was in charge now. Daryl reached up to knead Paisley's breasts as Negan built up speed until he was riding her with a deep, slow rhythm. Daryl could just lie there and let her ride him to the edge and over if he was so inclined.

But Daryl wasn't the sort to let others take the lead. Especially Negan.

He was breathing heavily, releasing those breathy gasps and grunts that always turned her on and began thrusting his hips up into her hard and fast. He held both of her wrists and she was completely and utterly under their control.

"Oh, fuck yes - sweet fucking hell… don't stop! Please don't… shit, I'm coming! I'm com… oh oh oh my God…"

"That's my dirty, dirty girl right there," Negan purred in her ear, still holding her in place by her hair. Now his free hand found her clit and pressed it down hard. The loose skin of her cunt did the moving as the men moved inside of her. Negan brought his pace up to match Daryl's rhythm. "Now do it again."

"Ohhh fuck…" Paisley murmured.

Daryl released her wrists, his hands shifting back to her breasts where he caught her nipples and pinched them between his thumbs and forefinger. He showed no restraint, instead of the gentle side of her friend this was the feral, untamed side. He twisted at them and it was like a shot of straight electricity buzzing through her body and meeting the slow flame of Negan's firm touch to cause an explosion as she came again. Her eyes were unfocused and her body growing tired and limp from the hormones being released. But they weren't done - neither wanted to be the first to finish.

"You both feel so fucking good," she breathed. It wasn't a lie but she was struggling to keep up. She could hear in the noises Negan made that he was close, and Daryl grimaced almost painfully from trying to restrain himself.

"My stubborn boys," she laughed, slightly exasperated and yet so full of love for the two of them. "Daryl…" she purred, placing her hands on his chest. Negan released his grip on her hair and she looked down into Daryl's clear blue eyes. Her hair fell all around Daryl's face and suddenly it almost felt as if they were alone.

She leaned down and kissed him gently, just a brush of her mouth against his. Her breath caressed his lips longer than her lips did, but it worked and Daryl cried out in a choked, guttural sound that any animal on the planet would recognize.

He was still gasping and panting when Negan laughed.

"Ha-haaaaa uuuh," he bit his lip and looked down to watch his thighs clap against Paisley's round ass. "My girl's something else, isn't she Daryl? Don't get too comfortable though…" He began to struggle to speak clearly as his face drew tight around his words. He licked his lips and looked over Paisley's shoulder to meet Daryl's eyes. "She's MY girl, and you're her toy. She plays with you when I say it's OK, but she's all… fucking… MINE!" He said his lips parted and his eyes closed as he came.

"Whooo!" He chuckled. "You are SOMETHING, punk!" Paisley whimpered when he pulled out and stood up. He looked down at the lovers with a wide grin as he got dressed. Paisley rolled away from Daryl and spread out on the bed feeling like a limp rag with her tired, relaxed limbs and a smile.

Daryl stood to dress quickly; he wanted to get out of this situation before it got even more awkward.

"That's it? Wham, bam, and not even a thank you ma'am?" Negan quipped, amusing himself greatly.

"Fuck off," Daryl growled.

"Just did that," Negan replied. He was still grinning like the Cheshire cat as Daryl pushed past him toward the door. Negan smacked Daryl's ass with an open palm as he walked by. "Good game."

"Listen here, you best forget this happened. Got it? And if she ever tells me, (just once!) that you hurt her? I'll cut your throat before you can make a damn excuse," Daryl said, pointing a finger in Negan's face.

"But Daryl, how am I supposed to forget our night together? Don't treat me like some sex toy. I have FEELINGS!" Negan taunted as Daryl slammed the door behind him. Negan turned his smile on Paisley. "Well, that was fun!"

************************************

"You really are so fucking good at being bad!" Negan told her, wrinkling his nose down at her as she lay with her head in his lap on the couch. "But, why Dixon?" He shook his head.

"You have someone else in mind? And don't you dare say Michonne. She scares the fucking shit out of me!" Paisley warned. Negan replied playfully, "But you gotta admit, scary or not, Michonne is HOT. Maybe the four of us?"

"Dream on old man," Paisley said, sitting up to kiss him lightly.

"Where are you going?" He wondered aloud.

"I'm going to bed. Are you coming?" She smiled back over her shoulder at him.

"Not yet, but I'm sure you can do something about that. My dirty girl," he replied, standing, stretching, and following her to the bedroom.

[cubixrubington]

Fuck bro elliott woke up with me and is being all depressed someone make him leave this party bro

Anyways he's like. Having a really bad day like he wouldn't have a full outburst but he's irritable. And I think when he's irritable he's just more tired and more sad which. Elliott. Please :(

He keeps reminding himself of the time a person he really loved died and its so vivid in my mind that he's just. So upset. Because like. Gin (former bestie and sister of the dead person in question) really fucked him up emotionally with that.

Like she's a nice person. She's quiet and calm and soft and very very skilled in what she does. But when her brother died and Elliott forcibly held her from making noise, from moving, from revealing their hiding spot to the people actively killing him. Like her memory is vivid in audio, she heard it, the two of them were hurt and couldn't escape and her brother wasn't there with them he was being MURDERED by halflings and she just. Wasn't allowed to go help, and she would have, she would have rather died than be there in that moment. She would have rather sacrificed everything for a chance to be in his place, for a chance to be with him, even if it would kill her mother, even if it would hurt Elliott, she'd have done it.

So yk. You can guess how angry she was when they got back to the ring and he just tried to take her to the clinic. You can guess how mad she was at the way he just closed up and went quiet and didn't even show emotion. He looked so normal, even bloodstained, even burnt from the hellhounds, even after losing what she thought was his friend.

But yk? When you already struggle with emotions because of your past, and its hard to express and understand, and you lose the one person who maybe helped that even a little. Who made you smile. Who cracked that shell your past had made you. Who you felt immeasurable pride for. Who you felt confident with and proud to be his friend.

Its. Its kinda like the galaxy had lost the sun. It didn't explode. It just went out, and everything went cold, it all shriveled up and died. It didn't take lightyears or science. It just happened. His galaxy went dark.

Plus, he looked back. Gin remembered the sound, he remembered the sight. He got back and just stayed silent other than a nod or a headshake, he didn't talk, he just couldn't, he was so fucking scared of losing himself in the anger and cold.

Gin blamed him for it, because of the events that she thought led to it, she blamed him, and she just never apologized. Because she still blames him. Their relationship may look good on the outside, but it's terrible, they hate being around each other, she hates Elliott with everything and he knows that. He knows that and he hates himself for it.

It's a really good time to mention how easy it is to just actually manipulate Elliott too. His parents did it and he has awful habits because of it, he just takes everything to heart when its bad and deflects it when its good and hhsbfghHAGRGSRJBHKRGBJ

Oops sorry

So anyways I think Gin's mother told him if he could recover the body a funeral could be had and he could attend and he did it. And he just. He got so mad at himself because he couldn't make it to the city without actually fucking losing it, he went back to the city bloodied and hurt because he just picked a fight with the wrong people.

And his night terrors and sleepwalking and violent episodes just got so much worse afterwards too. He couldn't take himself and just decided, fuck it, using Hush (funny calm drug) before going to bed so he wouldn't fucking do that anymore. I mean it helped a little but yk. Can't fix things.

Even Caleb, his bestie of many many years, can't get through that dark icy shell, but he saw the transformation of Elliott over the years, he watched Elliott go from an angry and violent teenager to a calm and mellowed out man, a man who saved him from something much worse and saw everything and still called him a friend.

Like. Caleb has his work husbands but his real one is Elliott bro. Not even in a husband sense in a sense where he'd trust Elliott with his life above all others. He really wishes he could just help Elliott through this but he's just closed off.

And. And I think Elliott is making me feel really depressed and irritable because he's really depressed and irritable. He feels so deeply troubled and sad. He feels like the end of the world has come. He just. Can't do it. One person is going to complain to him or do something on this shift and he's just going to give up and do it himself he's so tired I'm so tired we're so tired all he wants is his friend back :(

[ikeukiss]

GUILTY AS SIN | 최한솔

⟢ PAIRING: chwe hansol x fem!reader ⟢ WORD COUNT: 7.5k ⟢ GENRE: semi-angst, semi-fluff, smut, ⟢ TAGS: coworker au, friends to lovers au, semi-unrequited love au, oral ⚠︎ WARNINGS: mentions of anxiety, some semblances of emotional cheating per se? ⟢ SYNOPSIS: Never in a million years did you think you would have a crush on your friend and best friend's boyfriend. But sometimes what is in your heart springs up at the worst times. -ˋˏ✄┈┈ AUTHOR'S NOTE: holy shit it has been a thousand years since i wrote something? apologies i'm coming out of the woodwork with this one but finally decided to write something just to write and have fun which is awesome??

A dream should not have this much power over you.

Running into the studio, rehearsal clothes and all practically spilling out of your bag, you chastise yourself over and over at the scenario that has ran through your head since you woke up abruptly last night. Company personnel and coworkers stare at you while you sprint past them, mumbling yourself at your stupidity. You could barely get an hour of rest after the rude awakening. Every fiber of your being wanted to melt back into the dream. Of course, when you managed to stop tossing and turning, the alarm clock blared to life to remind you to get ready for band practice and head out.

It almost felt like reality was hidden in between your sheets, and the outside world was nothing but a false fantasy. And what was the best way for the world to remind you your dream was a figment of your imagination? Running into the subject of the imagery.

“Hey, watch out!” It takes little effort to be knocked back onto your ass. Your duffel bag explodes across the company building tile. You watch your belongings fall around you; clothing, sheet music paper, and emergency makeup flits in all directions. As an excuse to avoid looking directly up at him, you scramble to pick up everything. But all it takes to stop your frantic hands is Vernon’s voice speaking your name.

“What’s the rush,” Vernon says, a smirk on his face and a handful of your items in his palm. His sleeveless tank drapes across his chest, tucked into the waistband of his sweatpants. The top of his head is hidden in a one of his signature beanies, despite your warnings of his ridiculous head hair. “Cloud 9 can take a second for their keyboardist to make it.”

You hear some of the guys behind him laughing but continuing on their way, and you remind yourself to smack Mingyu upside the head the next time you see him. He may be stronger than you, but he deserves it. “Sorry, just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” you respond.

“Too long on the keys again? Jihoon needs to set a limit for late sessions, I swear,” he jokes.

“Nah, just had a weird dream,” you confess. What the fuck is wrong with you? You practically feel yourself smack your hand to your forehead. Vernon helps you up once all of your belongings are back in your bag. He places both hands on your shoulders, and the close-lipped smile on his face almost knocks you backwards.

“Just relax, practice is practice,” he reminds you, and you nod with a reciprocal grin.

You should not be thinking about him like this. And not when that someone is dating your best friend.

“Can you give this to Mina for me? She forgot to grab them from my room.” He hands you her keys once he swipes them from his pocket. The pink plush rabbit’s foot you bought her years ago that sits on her key-chain practically burns the words TRAITOR into your hand.

“Glad you thought to give them to her. She said this thing is the key to us getting good news today,” you say.

He sighs. “At least I remember things right?” Mingyu and Wonwoo almost out of view, Vernon motions to leave.

“See you later. Knock the big man dead!” He ruffles your hair before running after the boys, leaving you with a kaleidoscope of thoughts.

“Help me find a lifeline, in this heartbroken sea of mine,” Mina sings into the microphone. The words echo off the walls of the studio. Mr. Park keeps his focused gaze on the band until you play the last chords of the song. Unbeknownst to Vernon, your anxiety had nothing to do with Cloud 9’s evaluation. You could play the song and your entire album tracklist blindfolded. But now, seeing Mr. Park give nothing away makes your stomach turn.

Then, his face erupts in a smile as he claps his hands together hard. “Wonderful, girls. Absolutely wonderful!”

Mina and the rest of you breathe a heavy sigh of relief. Even Jeonghi, who’s perpetually stonefaced, displays a small smile.

“So we’re performance ready for the gala?” Mina asks for all of you, the thought on every bandmember’s mind.

“I believe so.” Mr. Park practically laughs as he says it. Everyone smiles wider and Jana, your lead guitarist, squeals in glee. Naejin, your new bassist, pats a hand on your back.

The Pledis Gala not only hosted the investors and higher-ups for the night, but the talent of the year were expected to have a performance during the party’s intermission. It was up to a couple groups and bands, but Mr. Park heavily endorsed Cloud 9 for the ticket. In spite of the first album not being scheduled for release for another three months, this would be the first time the band would perform and have live feedback.

It wouldn’t just be feedback on Cloud 9, but on all the songs you wrote. Mina would say it was 95% you and 5% her adding a lyric or two. You both created the band together, so you let her get away with the comment. And neither of you would discount each other’s hard work and influence on the group, anyway.

“Keep this fire for the next two weeks, and it won’t just be me who’s in love with you. Trust me ladies, I can feel it in my bones!” Mr. Park raises his hands in the air, almost to prove to himself he wasn’t wrong in where he placed his faith. He walks out of the studio, leaving all five of you to celebrate.

“Thank fucking god.” Jeonghi huffs before sticking her drumsticks in her back pocket.

“Not so fast, Heehee,” Mina retorts. “Like Park said, this does not mean the next two weeks are for slacking off.”

“Min, we got the gig. Breathe for a second.” You shake her, hoping you can force her out of performance mode. “We deserve to relax. And maybe buy a round of shots.”

“I second that,” Naejin says.

“I vote for that also.” Jana adds. “And maybe some food to go with that? You guys know I can’t drink on an empty stomach.” Her response makes all the girls laugh, including Jeonghi.

The studio door opens without warning. Vernon walks in with a tentative smile. “I see happy faces. Either that means you’re playing the gala or you’re all being very upbeat about not playing the gala.”

Jeonghi scoffs. “We got it, asshat. “

“We definitely did,” Mina yells out in glee. Mina runs towards Vernon and wraps her arms around him, an audibly happy sigh leaving her

A year in, Mina still loves to give Vernon physical affection, witnesses or not. She even confessed once that she believed Naejin had a crush on him and, according to her, “marking her territory” was only a bonus to PDA. If only she knew.

It takes Vernon a minute to react to her embrace, but he wraps his arms around her nonetheless. He kisses the top of her head when she lets him go. “Great job babe,” he says to Mina.

He turns his attention to you a second later, his eyes lighting up. “And how did they like the last song? I know you were messing with it for weeks.”

“Nothing a good brainstorm with you and Jihoon didn’t fix.” You nudge him in the hip with yours. His subsequent laugh on a normal day wouldn’t make you think twice, but now, the smallest hint of a chuckle kicks you in the ribs.

It’s a wonder how feelings can spring up without an iota of effort. It’s Vernon! The guy wears hats year-round. He stuffs his face with Oreos before offering any to anyone. The Saw franchise still scares the shit out of him, no matter how many times he’s seen them. And he’s Mina’s boyfriend. How could this person you have known for so long somehow worm his way into your subconscious like this?

The term “crush” has always bugged you. It’s more of a bug, honestly. A gnat that keeps reminding you of its presence and imperviousness to swatting.

The pestering feeling grows with the contact of your body and his. It even made your heart skip a beat if you were being honest with yourself.

“Congratulations, really. You guys deserve it,” Vernon says the words to all of you, but his eyes are focused on you alone. You brush it off with a polite smile, hoping somewill will take his attention away so you can focus on breathing again.

“Alright, back to the original subject,” Mina says, silently answering your prayer. “Drinks! As the oldest, Naejin should handle the tab.”

Jihoon was the only person you trusted with new material. Mina and the others usually saw your work after many rounds of edits between yourself and your songwriting partner. As you both put a lot of effort into your respective bands’ work, it only made sense for him to be your official sounding board. The other units kept their contributions locked tight from anyone outside of the group. Except for Vernon, but it was rare for you to swap material directly.

That being said, Jihoon would lose his built-up credit if he continued to emit grunts and humphs instead of feedback on your work.

“If I hear another ‘huh’ come from your mouth, I will chuck my shoe at you,” you warn, still playing the keys of Elton John’s “I’m Still Standing” on the piano.

“It’s just interesting, that’s all,” Jihoon says.

That word cuts your piano playing short. “You don’t usually use that vocabulary when describing my lyrics.”

“When did you write this?” He asks. He grabs some copies from his backpack, assorting them in a pile.

“The night before yesterday.” It had been a long night of witnessing Mina’s extremely public displays of affections and drinking too many tequila shots. When you were walking home with the girls, a melody suddenly sprang in your heard. You mulled over it for hours with your buzz until you opened Garageband and wrote some lyrics to go with it. It was nothing more than a few lines, but you wanted Jihoon to see if the idea had any potential. “Why?”

“Help me find a lifeline, in this heartbroken sea of mine,” He recites the lyrics to “SOS” from one of the papers he collected from his backpack. He pulls another one from the pile. “You see the shadow of my thoughts, if only you recognized the workings of my heart.” Jihoon looks up at you. “Not trying to be too deep, but I think I can smell a thematic coincidence.”

“Jihoon, stop it.”

“Ah! And here’s the pattern, folks.” He clears his throat before reading the scrap of paper you gave him this afternoon. “She may be the piece that fits you, but I can be the puzzle that undoes you?”

You rest your elbows on the keys, head in your hands as the instrument screeches in protest. You feel the cushion next to you sink with the weight of Jihoon’s body, and you turn to him. Eyes welling up with tears, you say, “It’s that obvious is it?”

“Based on this material, yeah.” He scoffs, a pout on his face. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know! One day I’m fine, sitting with Jana as Vernon is making jokes and the next I’m dreaming-“

“Wait,” Jihoon interrupts you. “Vernon as in Mina’s Vernon?” You nod, to which Jihoon huffs out a breath. “Now this makes a lot of sense.”

“I don’t want to feel this way, Hoonie. I don’t. And I’m not going to be the person who takes a person from someone else,” you assure him.

“And you said ‘dreaming’? About what?” The curious look on Jihoon’s face makes you feel even worse. But, you let yourself pretend that telling one person about your dream will make it easier to lay your crush to rest. So you do, but not in so much detail…

You sit side by side as you play the final string of keys for Vernon, mouth a hard line from your anxiety. The silence sits between you once the song is over, and you clear your throat after singing the lyrics you came up with.

“It’s obviously touch-and-go, but I wanted to know what you think.” You tuck a hair behind your ear, shy at this crumb of an idea being the first thing Vernon has ever heard of yours before anyone else. You usually hammer at it until it’s close to perfect, but in this most vulnerable stage of the process, you’re worried he’ll judge it harsher than ever before.

“I think it’s amazing.” He smiles. His response makes you smile in turn, but it quickly fades once he places a hand on yours. He guides it to the keys, his fingers lingering over your skin. “But what if you changed the minor chord to a major? The song sounds like it could be hopeful rather than sad.”

“Major and minor? Jihoon is teeaching you well,” you tease.

“Fuck you.” He bumps your shoulder with his. “I’m being serious though.”

“I just feel like it would change everything about it.” You blush, taking your hand back. The room suddenly feels too small, the space between the two of you crossing and invisible barrier. You should tell him to scoot farther away from you on the bench, keeping a friendly and professional level of distance. But you don’t. This is the first time you’ve ever been this close when being alone together. A part of you wants to cherish it.

“What’s wrong with change,” he asks, staring at you with a curious but heady expression that makes your breath hitch. Your faces are a foot away but you remind yourself nothing will come from the close contact. Neither of you would ever, even if you wanted to.

“The entire song would have to be rewritten. And maybe it’s fine the way it is,” you respond.

“What if that’s just what you think, but it would be better to give it a try?” You get a feeling he isn’t talking about the song anymore. But it’s foolish to think that way. He’s not yours, and you don’t expect him to ever be. So why are his eyes flickering with a challenge, his lips parted, his expression daring you to choose the words you can’t speak out loud?

“Then try.” The thought leaves your mouth before you’re aware of its existence. And without preparation, Vernon’s lips are on yours.

You’ve kissed boys plenty of times before, but this kiss is an electric current charging every nerve in your body. It wakes you up and reminds you this is real, he is here and kissing you like he couldn’t hold himself back for another second.

You blame the universe for how good it feels to run your hands across his shoulders and neck, the vibration of his moans against your lips only swaying you to explore further. Every instinct may be screaming at you for how wrong this situation is and how you shouldn’t take what isn’t yours. But if this is the only chance you have, the memories of it have to last a lifetime.

His tongue enters your mouth and you can’t help but moan, the feeling like honey gliding on your skin. He smirks and takes your bottom lip between his teeth. “We have to be quiet,” he whispers. The practice room may be soundproof to an extent, but you gasp at the thought of someone walking in.

“Can you be quiet for me?” Vernon asks, his hands roaming down to the hem of your graphic tee, raising it with his fingers to touch the skin underneath. The feeling makes you grab his mouth in a kiss to swallow the moan that threatens to leave yours.

You realize how good it feels to have all of him with reach. Not just the words, the laughter, the stolen glances. He’s less than a second away, and if he leaves now, it may just kill you.

Vernon’s fingers stop roaming once they sit on the waistband of your shorts. He looks deeply at you in a way that you realize is to confirm you want this as much as he does. You’ve already passed the point of holding back. What more could you lose by asking for more?

Soon enough, his fingers draw figure eights against the fabric of your underwear, teasing you with no intention of stopping. With your back pressed against the piano you bite hard on your lip to suppress your moans. Vernon kisses your neck as he keeps a steady rhythm, frustrating you in a way you’re not used to. Finding purchase on a nearby surface does nothing to help. One of your hands presses down on a scramble of piano keys that break the symphony of heavy breathing and whispered whimpers. And you feel the devilish grin on Vernon’s face, loving the writhing of your body and delicious frustration he’s putting you through.

The last thing you feel is a finger slipping inside of you before you find yourself awake in the middle of the night. You’re unsure whether it was the city below or a random sound in your room that pulled you from your dream, but you try your best for the rest of the night to steady your pounding heart.

“Dude that’s so gross. I did not need to know that!” Jihoon mimics vomiting on the laminate floor, and you chuckle in the midst of your tears.

“Shut up, man. I can’t control my dreams. And that was just the cliffnotes!”

“Dreams are one thing. Sounds like a soft core porn happening in your head to me,” he says. He gets up from the stool and shakes off his disgust. “And it was probably in one of our studios, you horndog.”

“I work here, so it may be gross but not unrealistic.” You sigh and close the lid of the piano, too deflated to play anything else. “So that’s that. I have a crush on Vernon that I did not ask for and it’s invading my entire thought process, even my fucking songwriting.”

“You know what this means right?” Jihoon smirks.

“If this means you think you can set me up on another blind date, you’re sadly mistaken.” You point your index finger at him as a visual cue to not push you further. “Not after the last date tried to explain to me the benefits of Scientology!”

“Okay, maybe that was a bust, but come on!”

You sigh, grabbing your belongings. What could it hurt to try again? Maybe the key to expelling your feelings was finding someone new. “As long as this one doesn’t try to convert me.”

Sunghoon turns out to be a complete gentleman, it makes you forget why you brushed off Jihoon’s suggestion a week ago. He opens the door to the restaurant and pulls out your chair. He talks about his love for playing professional baseball and remains engaged in everything you say about the music industry. On paper, it’s a perfect date with a man wrapped in green flags. But it isn’t with Vernon, and that gnat-like thought keeps pestering you, even as Sunghoon offers to walk you home.

Hand in hand, Sunghoon continues on his diatribe regarding American versus European football, a practically one-sided conversation that makes you laugh. “And why would they call it football anyway, am I right,” Sunghoon says. “Where in the game do they ever make contact with the ball by using their foot?”

“You sound like a comedian trying to come up with a skit,” you joke.

“I could see that…maybe if my day job fails. I promise to thank you when I blow up.” Sunghoon winks. He is all kinds of attractive, as Mina would say to you, wavy hair and a strong build to reflect his profession. He is perfect for you. So why don’t you feel a flutter in your chest when he squeezes your hand or any heat in your cheeks when he makes a flirty comment?

The answer comes in someone’s voice screaming your name into the night. You turn your head to find Vernon running down the street, a bag from 7-Eleven in his grasp and flying around in the air.

“Who’s this guy,” Vernon says when he finally catches up to you. His brows are furrowed and his chest is rising and falling quickly, but you blame the latter on his lack of exercise outside of practice. That and the thick material of his matching hoodie and sweatpants.

Sunghoon sharply lets go of your hand, a blush erupting on his face. “I’m so sorry, man. I didn’t know she had a-“

“No, she doesn’t.” You glare at Vernon. “This is a friend of mine. We work at the same company.”

Sunghoon breathes a sigh of relief, but Vernon remains indifferent as they shake hands and exchange greetings. “Glad to know I didn’t go on a date with someone already spoken for!”

You and Vernon look at Sunghoon in confusion. The speckle of interest you had in Sunghoon immediately sours, but only Vernon voices his disapproval. “This isn’t the 50s. She can speak for herself, man,” Vernon replies. His face turns from confusion to annoyance.

“And she thinks she can walk home alone. Thank you for the dinner, Sunghoon. You have my number.” You ignore the frown on Sunghoon’s face and turn to Vernon. “As for you, I’ll see you at work.”

You leave the two of them as you continue your walk home, but Vernon quickly catches up. “He seemed like a gem, huh?”

You scoff. “You didn’t really present yourself as a prize either, Vernon.”

“Do you blame me? The guy was a total neanderthal!”

“Maybe I like neanderthals. From experience, they seem to have great senses of humor. Especially in the misogyny department.” You crack a smile as he chuckles, but you try to hold onto your anger a smidgen longer. “You didn’t have to be so rude.”

“My rudeness was based on my intuition. And I was right, so you’re welcome.” Vernon ruffles through the bag and hands you a packet of sour Skittles. “And can you be mad at someone who got you your favorite candy?”

“How did you know you would even see me tonight to give me this?”

“I would’ve just saved them until the next time I saw you. You said sour Skittles always make your day better,” he says.

“Like three years ago,” you mumble, a gnawing pain suddenly within your chest.

“Well, as far as I could tell your candy preferences haven’t changed.” Vernon is blissfully unaware of how much his memory and the measly bag of candy splits your heart in two.

You look away from him to wipe a tear from your eye, but for the first time, he can tell something in your demeanor has shifted. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He puts both hands on either side of your face, his face suddenly becoming angry, a side he rarely shows. “Did that guy do something before I-“

You shake your head suddenly. “I’ve just been having a weird couple weeks. Just a lot of feelings before the gala, I guess.” You swallow and stare down at your feet, letting the lie seep in.

“I know you. This isn’t pre-show jitters,” he responds. His hands still sit comfortably on your cheeks. Despite the October chill, you wonder if he feels how hot your face has become since he;s touched it.

For the first time in a while, you look up at him and hold his gaze. You ask yourself a million questions as he stares back and the silence envelops you both. You hope they’re loud enough to reach him, to know if he shares the thoughts that have plagued your mind day after day. Do you know how easy it is to fall for you? Why do you make it so hard to deny this fucking feeling?

Someone calling both of your names pierces the quiet. Vernon immediately lets go of you and you step further away from him. You don’t realize you’ve made it to the company apartments until Mina steps out of the darkness, an accusatory glance in your direction. “What are you guys doing out this late?”

“Snack run,” Vernon answers immediately, pointing to the bag in his hand.

“Just coming back from a date,” you say quickly after Vernon.

Mina raises her eyebrows and gives a small smile. “Think he’ll be your date to the gala?”

“Time will tell,” you say in a clipped tone. You begin walking up the cobblestone pathway to the apartment entrance. “I’ll leave you guys to it.”

You don’t bother looking back at Vernon or Mina. You are sure if you do, every secret in your heart will reveal itself and the thought of losing both of them at once is more than you can take. Falling into a listless sleep, you do not know if there are any winners in this kind of fight.

The vibe as soon as you enter the studio is tense. The girls sit in a huddle around Mina, the subject of the attention bawling on Jana’s shoulder. You immediately run up to her, but Jeonghi stops you short. “I wouldn’t, kid.”

“What the hell happened,” you ask, concern flooding you.

“Like you don’t know.” Mina sniffles, dabbing at her eyes.

“What does it take for you to answer your phone,” Naejin says. She grabs a box of tissues to hand Mina.

Suddenly, you notice the girls’ accusatory glances and your concern nosedives into defense. “My phone was dead after I got back from my date. And I forgot to charge it before coming here so-“

“Convenient,” Jana responds.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” You ask.

“It means that my boyfriend—oh sorry, I should say ex-boyfriend now.” Mina says, standing up from her spot on the couch with Jana to tread closer to you. “My ex decides to tell me he has feelings for someone else right after I see the two of you last night way too close for comfort? You’re right Jana, that’s pretty fucking convenient.” Mina’s tone cuts you deep. Despite the pain and fear inside of you, all you can think about is how profoundly inconvenient it was of you to go wireless for 12 hours.

“One, even if you don’t believe me, I did not think I would see Vernon last night let alone you.” Mina scoffs at the response, but you continue anyway. “Second, I have no idea who he could possibly have feelings for other than you, Min. And that’s the truth.”

“You’re telling me you absolutely have no feelings for him?” Mina asks you, her bottom lip trembling. Up to this point, her voice has been clipped and angry, but the last words break by the end. You thought last night broke your heart, but this is true heartbreak.

You never intended to hurt her, not after all the work you both put into succeeding together. Music and the people you love mean everything to you, but how can both be so inextricably intertwined in this horrible predicament?

The silence screams louder than either of you ever could, and something in Mina’s face shatters. Your friendship? Her trust? You aren’t sure.

“You know what? Let’s just cool off until the gala this weekend,” Naejin says.

“We’re supposed to practice today,” you mutter. A tear escapes your eye, and Mina lets out a breath of disbelief.

“I get broken up with and you have the balls to cry right now?”

“Mina, lay off for a second,” Jeonghi interjects.

“We’ll deal with Park. Just, maybe lay low until then,” Naejin responds to you. She gives a parting nod. Jana barely looks at you as you leave, and Jeonghi says goodbye in her usual apathetic tone.

Only as you walk down the hallway and to the glass doors of the entrance do you allow yourself to sob. If only feelings could remain buried if you simply wished for them to. It would make the pain much easier to swallow if you never let them come up to the surface at all.

You think about how a nap may do you some good until you run into Vernon. He says your name, a breathless plea, but you shut him down immediately. “I can’t do this right now.”

“I was worried when you weren’t answering your phone,” he says. He walks forwards with his hands outstretched, visibly concerned about the tears falling down your face. But you refuse. You back away every time he tries to move closer. “Can we talk, please? It doesn’t have to be now, but—“

“Hansol,” you beg, the use of his given name startling him. “When I tell you I can’t, I mean it.”

He swallows. His head turns downward, recognizing he won’t get the outcome he wants. The push and pull between your feelings about the argument with Mina and wanting to tell him you want more than anything to talk to him—do nothing with him, even—makes your stomach turn. “I get it. Just please charge your phone.”

He walks away and in the direction of the Pledis building. It would be so easy to run after him, but the frailty of your strength forces you to walk forward. There is no timing worse than right now to discuss what’s happened in the last 24 hours.

And still, the feelings in his heart could be reserved for someone else anyway. The stupidity you’d feel would grow tenfold if this situation ended with him actually not wanting you at all.

When you crack open your apartment door, you see the Skittles bag strewn on your coffee table. The makeshift bandages you used to mend your heart on your walk home in silence rip off. I fucked this up so perfectly didn’t I runs through your head on loop, the perfect lyric to describe your pain. The laminate wood flooring’s warmth welcomes you as you fall apart.

The ballroom stage is cluttered with instruments. From your vantage point backstage, you see numerous suit and ties in the crowd at their assigned tables waiting patiently as well as the young trainees. You even see all of the guys at their own table from this distance, cracking jokes and whispering quietly. Except for Vernon, his expression unreadable. He’s never been too much of an expressive guy, even less so at events. But seeing him indifferent to the people around him forces you to close the curtain.

“Mina can’t just be AWOL right now,” Jeonghi says, yanking at the strings of her dress. “God, why did they have to make us wear these poofy babydoll dresses? I feel like a baby.”

The outfit doesn’t thrill you either, but it was nice the wardrobe team dressed you all in the same white attire. Save for Mina, who’s supposed to be in a blue version of the outfit due to her title as the lead singer.

“You look great. And I think the word you’re looking for is a cherub,” Jana says.

“Babies and cherubs aren’t mutually exclusive, J,” Jeonghi bites back.

“Anyway!” Naejin cuts in. “Let’s just focus on the positives. Mina still has ten minutes. She’s probably getting final touches on makeup.”

You nod, sitting on a stool an acceptable distance away. It’s bad enough you haven’t seen any of them since that day in the studio. It was another thing if Mina did not show up on purpose. You wouldn’t blame her, though.

The only people who tried to fix your self-isolation were Jihoon and Mingyu . And 90% of their discussions with you were about how much of a wreck Vernon was. You realized it was better to avoid talking altogether. No one could pick apart your thoughts or words in solitude.

Naejin sits next to you when she grabs a spare stool. “Can I just ask a question?” You turn your head in response. “Did you really not know?”

“Naejin-“

“I mean, it seemed a bit obvious to me they wouldn’t last.”

“Nae! That’s really fucked up to say.” Jana casts judgemental eyes at the both of you.

Naejin shrugs in response. “It’s not my fault if I noticed the kid’s eyes were elsewhere.”

“For your information, guys, no,” you interject. “No, I did not know that they’d break up. As for Vernon, he’s an oaf. He could like the checkout girl at the fish market for all we know.” Naejin shakes her head, a smug smile on her face. “What?”

“Nothing, just…it’s one thing to be oblivious. It’s another to willfully hide how you feel.”

Jana stops pacing and turns to you. “Do you actually like him? Like for real?”

You look down at your hands, trying to compose the right response. “I think I always have.”

The breath that leaves you once you confess feels like the lightest air you’ve ever inhaled and exhaled. It’s the first one in a while that comes out with ease. In the next second, feeling freer, all the words come out in a rush. “But I didn’t think I could act on it with the other stuff in the way. The band, the company, all that shit. Then it was him and Mina, and she was so happy. It seemed like a sign. Like there would always be other factors involved. But, I realized it was just an excuse to pretend I didn’t feel the way I did. It made it easier, until it wasn’t.”

“Why didn’t you say anything to me back then?” Mina’s voice makes you turn your head, and the tears immediately pool in your eyes. She looks beautiful, her makeup and hair in perfect precision. But the frown on her face tells you she feels anything but. You wish the source of this fracture between the two of you didn’t stem from you to begin with.

“Don’t ruin your makeup!” Jana screams.

“So not important right now,” Jeonghi says.

Mina lovingly huffs at them before turning back to you. “I never would’ve went out with him if I knew you were feeling like this.”

“I swear to you I didn’t realize all of this until a few weeks ago.” You stand up. “I’m a dumbass with timing, I guess.”

“You are,” she agrees. Her own tears begin to turn her eyes glassy. “But I’m one too, for not realizing you hid all of this.” She sighs. “I’m not saying I’m happy right now, but you’re not the only one who kept secrets.”

“I would’ve kept them forever if I could’ve. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”

Neither of you know what to do in that moment. Friendships have survived much worse. At least, you hope so.

Of course Mr. Park decides now is the time to run backstage. “You’re on in a minute beauties!” He wipes the sweat from his forehead and runs back in the direction he came.

The other girls get on the stage to start prepping. You hold out your hand to Mina, a silent request to work on your relationship. Mina immediately laces her fingers through yours. In that moment, you’re ready to see your shared dream come true.

As predicted, the performance went without a hitch. Mina, in spite of her obvious nerves, wowed the crowd with her stage presence. The instrumental sounded perfect, to the point executives commented on the smallest details. Each one you were introduced to was excited to see Cloud 9’s impending success. Some of the boys congratulated you when you made it off the stage as well. Even Jihoon had a tear in his eye. But the one you wanted and dreaded to see was evidently missing.

You saw him during the set, but Vernon’s absence is partially a blessing in disguise. You don’t want to talk to him here in a crowded room of people you barely know. And not with Mina in close proximity either, despite the tentative peace treaty you’ve both made.

You walk out of the ballroom, unnoticed. In the familiar hallways, you find yourself heading to the studio. Maybe the piano will have some answers for you.

Of course, Vernon is sitting at the piano waiting for you.

“Not surprised you’d come here.” Vernon chuckles to himself, He swipes his brown bangs from his eyes before standing to face you.

“You know I hate crowds.” You cross your arms. Even in one of your safe space, you feel unarmed.

“How’s it feel to be on the fast-track to fame?”

You take a deep breath, a smile lingering on your lips. “Like the hard work’s just begun.”

His grin is the only spotlight you want on you after the haze of pyrotechnics and shuttering cameras. And it feels good to see it after witnessing his somber mood earlier.

“Can I just say,” he starts, “you look beautiful.”

You put your hands in front of your face. A laugh bubbles up from deep in your stomach. “You can’t just say stuff like that to me, Vernon.”

“I’ve been wanting to since that night last week,” he confesses. “So I thought I’d start with that, seeing as the first time we’ve talked in forever.”

Willing yourself to still your frantic pulse, you say, “Well you still can’t say that shit without consequences, you know.”

“And what would those be?” The curiosity in his eyes and close-mouthed grin jumpstarts your heart yet again. How was there ever a chance you could bury your feelings when he looked at you like that?

Inside this room, in the setting of the dream that jumpstarted all of this, you take the chance to finally let the floodgates open.

“Because I’ll have no choice but to kiss you. And then tell you I’ve liked you since the second you taught me to tie shoelaces one-handed because you thought it was the coolest thing you’ve ever learned. And how I admire how much you care about others before yourself. And how effortless you are at performing even though when anyone tells you that you think they’re a big fat liar. And then I’ll say maybe after realizing all of this and saying it out loud that maybe I lo-“

You don’t know what you feel first: the pressing of Vernon’s palms to your cheeks or his lips against yours. But you’re sure the feeling of his touch in reality blows both your expectations and fantasies out of the water. If the kiss in your dream felt like the fire of electricity, this one is the calmest pool you’ve ever swam in. It mends all of your anxieties, quiets all of your fears. It could make any skeptic believe that the world’s greatest power is in two mouths crashing into each other.

When you separate, your mouths still inches away from each other’s, Vernon says, “Maybe I love you too.” In a millisecond he presses his lips back to yours.

You always wondered what it would feel like to touch him in this way, and now that you can, you’re a mess. You pull him as close as you can by the lapels of his suit-jacket before he rips off the article of clothing altogether.

“They’re gonna realize the both of us are missing,” you whisper, hands still roaming from his chest to the nape of his neck.

“It’s a big party. What are the odds they notice before we come back,” he teases. If the boy could bring you any closer, you’re hard-pressed into believing he would. You giggle into his mouth and motion towards the door.

“Just let me lock it. Or put a chair in front of it, at least?” He groans in protest but steps away from you to oblige your request. He ensures the door is inaccessible with the turn of the lock and jiggles the doorknob to prove it. “Thank you,” you say.

He stalks back towards you and hungrily pulls you in. He bites your lip as you clutch onto his neck tie. “You really want to see me shirtless, don’t you?

“Fuck you,” you joke. He instinctively roams his lips down to your neck, sucking the sensitive spot of your collarbone. You moan in response.

“Planning on it.”

Vernon guides the two of you to the grey leather armchair parallel to the grand piano. You wonder if he can feel the jackhammer replacing your heart as he kisses the top of your cleavage. The skin feels on fire in the wake of his fingers and mouth touching you.

He gently pushes you into a sitting position on the chair, but when you reach for the buckle of his belt, he stops you with his hand. “Not here.” A question marks your expression, but he chuckles. “Don’t worry. One of us is going to get off tonight.”

Sinking to his knees, he rests his hands on the outsides of your thighs. He kisses your skin softly, helping you relax. He travels further up your leg, his head centimeters from between your legs. The moment seems unreal, the boy you love seconds away from going down on you in the studio where anyone could pass by and hear the sounds coming from the room.

Not long ago, this was only the stuff of your fantasies. And you almost kick yourself for asking, but the words come out nonetheless. “Tell me this is real.”

He chuckles, lips still pressed to the inside of your thigh. “It’s real.” He looks up, part of his jaw obscured by the fabric of your dress. “And if it isn’t, I don’t want to wake up.”

With ease, he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and slides them off. He presses a tender, slow kiss to your clit. You moan, immediately grabbing onto his hair when he started weaving circles around your center with his tongue, the pace both too perfect and not enough. You wanted to feel him inside of you, but you knew as well as he did you didn’t want your first time in the company building.

But still, you mewl and raise your hips up to meet his face, loving the sensation of his lips bringing you closer. “You like that,” he asks, gently prodding your entrance with his index finger. “D’you want more, baby?”

You nod vigorously, yanking tighter to the ends of his brown hair. “Fuck yes, please and thank you.”

His laugh reverberates against your pussy, the feeling outmatched by the sudden press of his finger inside of you. You let out a breathless gasp, your head falling back into the fabric of the armchair. Fuck he’s too good at this.

If only you had confessed the way you felt to him earlier than now. Maybe then you would have known how good this feeling, both lust and love interwoven, could be. But that didn’t matter, did it? Now, you had this boy who said he thought the world of you appreciating you in the most carnal way possible.

“You’re incredible,” he grunts, adding a second finger. You let out a long moan in response. “I can’t wait to be inside of you.”

“Fuck, Hansol,” You cry out, his pace suddenly increasing as his tongue makes slow laps at your clit. “I want to come.”

“You will, I promise.” He suddenly works overtime on you, his fingers curling just enough. With the depth and speed alone, you feel your orgasm within arm’s reach.

When he tells you how beautiful you are again and with the fast flick of his tongue and pressing of his fingers, you unravel. In a sense of irony, it feels better than Cloud 9. He sees you through it beautifully, only taking his mouth away from you when you stop bucking into his touch.

Vernon pulls you into his lap, both of his lips glistening. He quickly wipes his mouth before kissing you gingerly. The look of shy glee on his face makes your heart swell. If only they made that smile for purchase, the universe would be a much happier place.

“Hi,” he says. He wipes at the sweat building up on your brow, looking at you with all the love a person can have for another person.

You giggle. “You eat me out and the first thing you say is ‘Hi’?”

“I couldn’t think of anything else, to be honest.” You both share a joyous laugh at his ridiculousness.

“Hi to you too.”

You barely remember the beginning of the day and all the emotions you harbored before walking into the studio, or all the frustration pent up inside of you from the past few weeks. The only important thing had his arms wrapped around you and all his attention on you, determined to conquer whatever happened next together.

[paperbagnotes]

11:10

I woke up minute before

Dead electronic

Plug it in

My chest sinks and my heart explodes

Stinging down my nose

Tears gush from my eyes soaking my pillow

Idk what woke me

You are not here

You are not in love with me

In a dream you were holding on to me

So happy

Beaming - smiling - shining

Looking at me lovingly

When you kissed me it almost felt real

Dissolved to nightmare

You were avoiding me.

Much like reality

You weren’t real to me

Treating me like everyone else

Or worse even

I felt your neglect

Not making eye contact

You couldn’t even look at me

When moments before you couldn’t look away

What changed

I can not feel the heart beat in my chest

Yet it’s racing

I ran into a man as I was running away

Even though I knew I was so lost, only trying to get back to you

He said “sometimes it just takes longer, but if It’s inside of you it’s always been there, it will show, you’ll see”

I can’t go back

But I’m stuck right here

A dirty secret being tried to forget

I’m never beautiful when I wake up

Eyes puffy,

Now swollen from so many tears

I see my reflection as I pass the mirror

“What makes me think I’m beautiful enough to be your equal”

Your beauty is almost unmatched for me

I don’t believe I can even compare

“What made me think I’d ever go far”

Woke up to hyperventilate

I’m not living a dream

I’m drowning

My soul is exhausted

Each day moves on and I don’t hear from you

I fear I never will again

I don’t know how we’ll ever be able to spend any time together

Part of me believes that currently it’s completely impossible

I’m trapped in love with you and I can’t even explain how it happened

I feel this is torture

My lips quivering

Why do I feel this way

How does it change?

I don’t know what’s true

Nothing makes sense to me anymore

I saw it all

And now there’s nothing?

Only see you in my dreams. Nightmares.

Wake up worn out already

Done with the day

Ready to go away

Ready to die already

Idk what’s wrong with me

I don’t know anything

I don’t know what to do

Keep asking for gods guidance

But how can I believe in it if it’s hurting me so much

I have no dreams. I have no desires.

Given up on happiness

Even simply being alive hurts so much

Thinking/living in the after math

Of your avoidance and neglect

Meant to be “bubbly” “happy go lucky”

But I feel nothing

Only sorrow

I don’t even feel alive.

I let that sink in

& numb me

What more can I do

I’m at a stand still

You have all the power

Only you can choose

And I’m not even being spoken to

Idk how else to think it’s anything else but done for you

Maybe I was never anything to you but just something new..

I thought I did better then that. Knew I was.

But maybe you’re just not who I think you are

I haven’t experienced any real you

Only pleasantries and niceties

Proper politeness

A total of maybe an hr spent together

It doesn’t make sense that this is ripping a hole through me

Bigger than the Caspian Sea

I keep telling myself I don’t know you

Don’t understand this connection I feel

I pray I haven’t been delusional

But maybe that’s the truth

I need to kill all these parts of me

I don’t know how to empty or drain any of this from my brain

How is it so easy for him

To keep loving the same life he’s been

Not having his whole world changed

He resisted

Blew it out the door before he shut it and my first fuck up fucked it

Not looking to work through anything with anybody

I showed him I had questions I wanted what’s real and raw..

Maybe (pissed)pushed him off (away)

Maybe he never feels or thinks for me

All I have is maybes

And a broken heart

No one has ever hurt me like this.

I’ve never had to constantly be reminded someone is leaving me, not believing in me,

I wish it was just romantic rejection

Everyone could say no if he said yes

But I don’t even know him

It’s impossible to know what’s true

If he won’t even tell me anything

How can I feel any of this

If he can treat me this way

God help me

I can’t feel like this anymore

I fear I’ll never heal and I can’t even explain any of it

I’m warped and changed and I’ll never be the same

And it’s not fair he is unchanged and

Not even ..my own mother believed he could love me..

But she’s never believed in anything for me

Who am I? I must not be worth keeping

Inside or out

I wasn’t enough. I messed up

So easy to drop me

Leave me for dead

What’s the difference then personally killing me, ending everything. Then forcing me to live in this peril plagued existence.

I’d rather be peaceful

Resting easy

Then my heart hurting this badly ..just endlessly? For eternity?

How could you do that to anybody

Let them die slowly

Miserable

And alone

Do I belong in hell?

What have I done?

Because I honestly believe this is my nightmare

And I’m living it every horrific thing I’d hope don’t happen to anybody

Befalling

Me

Why do all these horrible things have to happen to me. Why do I have to be the one to go through every gut wrenching, unspeakable action the world can imagine..

I don’t want to be strong

I want a life I love

I want to be loved by someone other than me, treated better than I can treat myself,

Someone I dream of too

Together in it all only

Not like this

Not like this

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 5462-5466

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering undyingUmbrage [uu]

TG: psst hey calliopes bro

TG: i got

TG: a secret message 4 u

TG: it is

TG: ehehm

TG: CALLIOPE

TG: ....

TG: sooooooooo

TG: did that work

TG: calliope calliope calliope

TG: is 3 times the charm

TG: come onnnnn

TG: wake up sleepy head!

TG: le

TG: SIGN

TG: maybe youre just afk?

TG: i hope ur dumb POS brother doesnt end up reading this instead

TG: man i wish you would wake up

TG: rly wanna talk to a friend about everything that just happened

TG: i mean another friend who is not part and parcel to my 3 bffs ridorkulous nonsense

TG: guess ill just give u the scoop on the haps for whenever you wake up

TG: so yeah we all finally entered our game

TG: i think i was being the worst kind of turd 4 opposing the idea so long

TG: guess i thought i was being noble

TG: like sacrificing something that was important and we all wanted anyways just so i could fuck with the witch and her plans

TG: but i dunno what i was thinking

TG: cause this shit here is p great i have got to say

TG: now we are all of the sudden in this crazy place full of pretty green hills and a black empty sky

TG: i never actually seen anything like plants growin or a country side

TG: its so peaceful and quiet here

TG: i mean the racket my loudmouth pals are makin notwithstanding

TG: we are just chilling at jakes old broken house on a mountain figuring what to do

TG: lol this all happened so fuckin fast!

TG: i cant believe were all together like this suddenly

TG: just

TG: hangin out

TG: in actual person

TG: in our moon jammies

TG: this is better than i ever thought it would be in the silliest and stupidest way

TG: it feels so surreal and amazing just being here with my friends

TG: im still not even sure how this all came together

TG: mostly a lotta machiavellian/heroic XTREME STRIDER BULLSHIT

TG: like i was under attack there

TG: my colony was burning

TG: and i remember dying

TG: and i think jane must have died too?

TG: she was on derse but i have no idea how she got there

TG: i dunno if jake died too or what

TG: all i know is ppl were just dying their asses off left and right

TG: the b line is we were all in some shit

TG: dirk i think must have killed himself and like shipped his own head to jake on makeout mountain

TG: but dirk also kissed me it would seem

TG: while i was too dead to notice UNFORTUNATELY :c

TG: but then i woke up on derse which was gettin worked over by the red shit too

TG: and there jane was

TG: all lyin there bloodily and heart breakingly and probably dead

TG: so

TG: i knew i had to kiss her

TG: but

TG: god i feel so pathetic but i just couldnt do it for some reason?

TG: i wanted to but i guess the blood grossed me out and im a total disgrace of a friend

TG: i dont think ill tell her because its too embarrassing

TG: then dirk wakes up and kicks my squeamish butt out the way and kisses her even in spite of his superhuman gayness because he sucks less as a hero

TG: and then were blasting off suddenly on his fuckin rocket and i dont even KNOW whats happening but its all so awesome and we scoot by somewhere and pick jane up in her yellow dress and now SHES flying with us screamin the whole time hahahaha

TG: and then we get to jakes place and shit everywhere is on fire and hes asleep there so dirk splashes him with a bucket of ocean and tells me and jane to hide??

TG: so we do and jake wakes up and starts arguing with dirks gross head from the fucking future and climbs up on this stone wall for some reason and just starts making out with the head while the volcano explodes???

TG: jane and i are like what the absolute FUCK while dirks just there with his bucket all like 'yup'

TG: then we ollied out of that popsicle stand so now here we are

TG: wow

TG: that story is a goddamn mess

TG: what did i even just say

TG: i dunno

TG: ill try to make better sense of all this later

TG: i just wanted to tell you

TG: and thank you for all you did to bring us together like this

TG: it has meant so v much 2 me

TG: oh guess what i even have a new lightning bug pal!

TG: he is toties cute + friendly + blinky as all getout

TG: i think i will name him

TG: doctor blinkbottom

TG: no thats shit

TG: how about

TG: twinkly herbert

TG: lmfao that is kinda sucky too

TG: but i like it

TG: so i am a keep it

TG: herbert just blinked in total agreement omg what a friend

TG: ok calliope

TG: by which i mean.......

TG: CALLIOPE

TG: eh?

TG: ehhh???

TG: still nothin?

TG: k well i should go then

TG: my party is getting a lit bit rowdy over there

TG: oh my god what are they actually doing

TG: not even ten stinkin mins into our magic bestfriendquest and theyre already jacking up the drama

TG: need to flag down the dramambulance

TG: haul these fuckers away

TG: wow they are really being so absurd

TG: maybe its just cause im not tipsy atm but this shit is like hells of amateur hour to me r now

TG: maybe if i wasnt as sober as a nun gettin slapped by a librarian i wouldnt even notice?

TG: fa reals tho may i just say

TG: dying is a hell of a way to sober up quick

TG: got 2 remember that trick

TG: so hey wake up soon!!

TG: i will try again later

TG: must deal w some shit now

TG: urgh

TG: i think

TG: i could use a drink

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering undyingUmbrage [uu]

[tb-gerschutz]

Ten

Word Count: 5,698

Trigger Warning(s): graphic depictions of violence, dying, nightmare, dirty talk, cursing

Summary: Anaysha and Oberyn travel to King's Landing for the Ultimatum Duel, and they determine whether they live or die.

**********

ANAYSHA

"No!" I shouted toward my father, who had the Red Viper in a tight chokehold. "Don't do it! Please!"

My father slowly turned his head to me as I was about to fall to the ground. He had the evilest grin spread across his face. It was almost like a demon took over him and controlled his every movement. I had never been more terrified of a grin in my life.

"Don't do it, please!" I shouted.

"Or what?" he asked in a sneering tone.

I hobbled forward a few steps, holding my battered side with one hand and a beautifully crafted Dornish spear in the other.

"You'll deeply regret it if you do," I said.

"Oh, I'm sure I will," he responded, clicking his tongue a few times.

My father then let go of the Red Viper, who fell to his knees and struggled to breathe. He was too exhausted to even try to put up more of a fight, which devastated me. He was a man who put up a lot of fight in the face of evil, and now, he wasn't doing that. On the other hand, my hope started to revive when I started to believe that my own father wouldn't have the heart to kill my lover.

Apparently, I was wrong.

Just as the Dornish prince was slowly rising to his feet, my father took his sword and drove it through the Red Viper's chest with as much force as a dragon has. Almost immediately, the victimized Dornish prince went limp, his fighting energy immediately diminishing.

"No!" I shouted, with tears pouring out of my eyes.

My world shattered once the sword plunged into his chest. Everything—everything around me—stopped and froze in its place. The man that I thought would have a lot of fight left in him—the only man that I genuinely loved—was now defeated. Never did I think that he'd ever be defeated. But at least he was able to try and fight until the end.

Once my father thought that the Red Viper was dead, even though he wasn't yet, he walked away with the intent on leaving him for dead. I rushed to his side, holding his head in one hand and his bloodied abdomen in the other. His breath quickened, and even though I didn't see it or feel it, I somehow could tell that his body was going numb with every passing moment. Moments that felt like eternity.

"Don't die on me. Please," I begged persistently. "Please don't go."

I had one last vain effort in mind, so I leaned in close hesitantly and softly pressed my lips against his as my heart shattered even more than it already did. A couple tears leaked out of my eyes as I struggled to keep it together for the Viper. He was slowly drifting away from this earth, and despite thinking that I had it...I had no control. I had no control over the Red Viper and his slow, slow death.

He ran his finger from the back of my head toward my cheek, using his thumb to wipe away my tears. Unlike me, he had it together and didn't cry even though he was slipping away. Slipping away from this world. Slipping away from me.

"You can't leave me," I cried. "You have to keep fighting. Keep fighting for me."

"I'll never stop fighting for you," he said, wincing at the pain he was in. "I'll just be in a faraway place doing it. Just know that wherever I am, I'll always love you."

And with that, he slowly slipped away with one last exhale, his eyes slowly closing one final time. His body suddenly went limp, soon becoming lifeless. That was the moment when my heart exploded, and the world around me became no more. The Red Viper was my world, and now...he was gone.

"No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Apparently, doing that got the attention of my father, who turned back around and marched toward me with purpose. He tightened the grip on his sword and drew it back to get a full swing.

"No. Please," I begged. "Don't do it. No!"

* * * * * *

And that was when I sat up in the bed and woke up in a cold sweat. I was gasping for air, trying to snap myself back into reality in a quick fashion, but nothing seemed to be working. To my luck, however, the Red Viper was right there next to me, having been awakened by my awful cries.

"My love, what happened?" he asked as he slowly ran his hand up and down my back.

I wiped the beads of sweat that were forming on my forehead. "I—I guess I had a nightmare. A bad one."

"What happened in it?" he asked with a soft voice.

I exhaled a shaky breath, remembering the awful nightmare I had. "We were at war with my father. It was the final battle that we'd been anticipating for a long time. At the climax of it all, he killed you. Plunged a sword right through your chest. I held you in my arms as you slowly withered away. Then—then, he—he killed me. I woke up before it happened, but it was just so frightening."

"Shhh," he said, pulling me in and embracing me tightly. "It's going to be okay. It wasn't real. It was just a dream."

I bruised my head into his bare chest, crying uncontrollably into him. I considered myself lucky that I had someone like the Red Viper here to comfort me. Then again, I never knew considering his typical nature.

"Go back to sleep, princess," he said, gently stroking my hair. "You're okay. You're okay."

We eventually settled back into bed after I was reassured that I was okay. Of course, I was okay. I had the Red Viper with me, which is all that I could want right now. He was right here to protect me just like he promised, and I couldn't ask for anything different.

As I slowly fell back asleep, I cuddled up close to the Red Viper, still being shaken up after the nightmare I experienced. But there was no denying the fact that I was finally safe once again, even though...I was already safe to begin with. Still basking in the Red Viper's security, I consciously laid my head down on his bare chest, finally growing comfortable with him. He was slightly stirred awake and saw me falling asleep on him, showing a crooked grin as he looked down upon me.

He took this further in stride by slowly falling back to sleep, keeping his arm tightly wrapped around me and gently tanging his fingers into my hair. It was at this moment when I finally was able to put my full trust into the Red Viper. It was also the point when I knew—deep down—that I was madly in love with the Red Viper of Dorne...Oberyn Martell.

* * * * * *

Once the sun had the chance to peak over the horizon again, I found myself slowly stirring, doing my best to wake up for the unpredictable day ahead. Even though Oberyn and I had received word about the Ultimatum Duel, we never once worried about it. Instead, we pushed it off to the side because we didn't think it was a matter we should worry about. After all, with enough fire, we should be quite able to win and live to fight another day.

I was trying to get out of bed and get ready for the trip to King's Landing, but I felt a hand grab onto my wrist and drag me back in. It was only Oberyn's, but it made my heart skip a beat. It was in a good way, of course.

"Easy, hungry lion," I said with a chuckle. "We have a long journey ahead of us today."

He lightly caressed the back of my shoulder, debating whether or not he should leave light kisses on it. His face was so close to my shoulder that I could feel his hot breath lightly tickle my skin.

"Can't we stay? That way, I can spend all my time ruining you instead?" he asked.

I smiled to myself, but I knew I had to keep it together. "I'd love to, but we have to go to this Ultimatum Duel or else we both die. And quite frankly, Oberyn, I don't want to miss the opportunity to send a strong message to my father."

He stopped and quickly got out of the bed, moving to my side and kneeling down in front of me. "Wait. I heard you call me by my name. Did I hear that right?"

"You did," I simply answered. "Did you expect any different?"

He lightly chuckled menacingly, gently grabbing my neck and moving my head so that I'd be directly looking at him. "I expect that next time we're alone, you'll scream it for me."

My heart was skipping several different times after hearing that slip off his tongue. But I knew that I couldn't accept this invitation. This open invitation to let him fuck me. There was an Ultimatum Duel happening, in which my and Oberyn's lives were on the line.

"I promise that I'll do that the next time," I said, "but right now, you have a duel to fight, and I have one to watch."

We eventually found the strength to get out of bed and pack up for the journey to King's Landing, and a terrible realization had just washed into me. There was a big possibility that both Oberyn and I would die as a result of losing this duel. And it made me fear for Oberyn's life. Granted, I have constantly feared for his life ever since our first meeting, but none of that worrying was as great as what it is right now. Maybe it was because the feeling was too great to be ignored at this point.

While we took one last stroll among the grounds before the ship left, Oberyn and I decided to keep our minds off the duel by holding a conversation that concerned my father.

"Why do you think he's the way he is?" I asked. "My father...why is he like this?"

Oberyn clicked his tongue several times. "It's hard telling, princess. It could be one, a couple, or multiple causes. It's just a matter of which one."

"If it helps any, my father had quite the tragic childhood," I added. "His father—my grandfather—would emotionally and verbally abuse him quite a bit. Out of all of the children, my father got the worst of it. My grandfather would blame my father for his failures, even though my father had nothing to do with it. Plus, he was cold and heartless...just not the best father to my father."

"That's awful," Oberyn remarked, "but we don't know if that's the actual cause."

"I don't think we'll ever know," I responded, continuing to walk with the Red Viper. "My father is a complicated man whose past is quite clouded. And unless we talk with him face-to-face, which seems ultimately impossible, we won't ever know why he's like this. Ruthless and evil."

"You know what else is ruthless and evil?" the prince asked. "This Ultimatum Duel."

My mind shifted back onto that topic, but now, I felt as though I had the courage to speak out about my concerns for this duel. "About this duel...I'm awfully worried about it. I'm worried about you. What if you die?"

He turned to me and held both my hands tightly, staring directly into my eyes. "Trust me, Anaysha. I'm not going to die. Not when you've given me so much to live for already, and I doubt you're done doing that."

"Of course I'm not," I chuckled. "You welcomed me into your kingdom of Dorne with open arms. You gave me more than what I could ask for. Hell, you saved my life! I have to keep returning the favor, don't I?"

"You can certainly go ahead and do that," Oberyn said with a smile, "but just know that everything I do for you is just out of the goodness in my heart."

I kept those words in mind as we both ventured back to the palace, reminding Oberyn's highest aide about the rules and inner workings of the palace. Turns out, there weren't as many rules as I thought there'd be. Then again, I grew up in hell for all of my life so far, so I didn't know the difference.

"Can I add a rule?" I asked Oberyn.

He placed his hands on my back. "Of course you can, my love. After all, you're a guest here. We have to make you as welcome as possible, don't we?"

"Just make sure everyone here is accounted for," I said to the aide. "I want everyone here to be treated with the same respect His Royal Highness and I receive, and I don't want anyone dead or missing when we return."

"As you wish, Your Highness," the aide responded. "I'll make everyone's well-being a priority."

"One more thing to add," Oberyn piped up. "When and if I come back alive with my lover here, I want you to follow closely to Dornish tradition by having you and many others hail me as a hero."

I whipped my head toward Oberyn. "That's a thing?"

"It sure is, my love," he answered. "It's one of many traditions here in Dorne. Don't worry. You'll catch onto all of them eventually."

And soon, we were off, boarding the boat that'll take Oberyn and myself to King's Landing. I was anxious for our arrival there, both in a good and bad way. The good, being that I had the opportunity to visit a new place that I'd never been to before. The bad, being that myself and Oberyn might not make it out of there alive. There was definitely a good chance that we'd lose this duel, which is a chance that I don't want to encounter.

As the ship sailed along the beautiful blue waters, I couldn't help but look out and take in new sights that kept presenting themselves to me. It was absolutely stunning to not only see the blue seas, but also the creatures that roamed them. I had never seen such beautiful yet dangerous creatures like these before—which included a variety of fish. I was so fixated on all of them in the sea below that I didn't see that Oberyn had joined me at the head of the ship.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" he asked.

I glanced over to him, then back out to sea. "It certainly is. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Next to you, of course."

Oberyn smiled and chuckled in a low tone. I could see his cheeks turn as red as the most beautiful rose in Westeros.

"Stop it," he snickered in a teasing way.

"Well, you know it's true," I added. "You're fucking gorgeous."

One of his eyebrows hooked upward, and so did one side of his mouth. "Fucking gorgeous? Never thought those words would slip off of a woman's tongue."

"Well, that thought just became a reality," I added.

We shared a chuckle together, our smiles filling almost all our faces. It once again made my day, knowing that I was one of the only people—if not, the only one—who had the exclusive ability to make Oberyn Martell laugh, let alone...smile. But that thought soon moved to the back of my mind when Oberyn pointed out something in the sea ahead. Something beautiful yet seemingly dangerous.

"Look out there," he said, pointing out to a creature in the far sea and placing his hand on my lower back.

I looked out to see an absolutely beautiful humpback whale coming to the sea's surface. My heart thumped louder than ever as the anticipation for what was coming next kept building up to an ultimate climax. The dark gray, white-bellied creature—so beautiful yet seemingly destructive—eventually jumped out of the sea, landing back into it on its back and continuing to swim in the beautiful, unexplored sea.

At the sight of the whale jumping, I gasped, having been shocked by how beautiful that whale that I witnessed was.

"Wow," I finally said after picking my jaw off the ground.

"Amazing, isn't it?" he asked, speaking low into my ear.

I hesitated before speaking again. "It's more beautiful than I imagined. I do have to apologize, Oberyn, but I hadn't seen something like that before."

"Seen what before?" Oberyn asked.

"A whale," I responded. "In all of my eighteen years of living, I hadn't seen something like it before."

He whipped his head toward the side to face me. "You haven't seen a humpback whale before?"

I nodded. "Nope. Never had that opportunity until now."

And as we continued on with the journey, I soon realized that it wouldn't be much longer before we reached King's Landing. It wouldn't be much longer before we stepped foot on the land that might bring death to the both of us.

* * * * * *

We eventually arrived at King's Landing not terribly long after, and I have to say...it was grand and bright. To put it in simpler terms, King's Landing was like the Iron Islands—with some old architecture and age-old traditions—and Dorne—with a particular brightness and some structures with new architecture—had a baby together...and it definitely was a beautiful brainchild.

Upon the boat being docked, Oberyn offered his hand to me, making sure that I got off safely. Of course, I felt drawn to take it, mainly because I considered it a symbol of safety...and I had no choice but to accept it since Oberyn made me feel more welcome and safe than I felt back home.

But before we stepped on the solid ground, a particular young man—whom I assumed was an aide to King Stark—met us there, bowing in respect to both Oberyn and myself.

"I appreciate the gesture, young man," I said with a smile, "but you don't need to do that for me. We're all people, and we're all on the same level. I don't want to use my position of power as a way to disrespect others who don't have that privilege."

The aide smiled. "Thank you for that generosity, Your Highness. Westeros hasn't seen a princess as generous as you in a long time. Might I ask...who are you? I hadn't seen such a face like yours before, even though I thought I saw it a long time ago."

"I'm Anaysha Mullendore Sparr, the Grand Princess of the Iron Islands," I answered.

"Oh! That's where I've heard those last names," the aide exclaimed. "Your parents are well-known throughout Westeros. We all spoke of your mother in goodwill, but your father wasn't the same. However, King Stark would be most pleased to know of your arrival."

I nodded. "Yes. Unfortunately, my father hasn't let up on his antics. We're here for the Ultimatum Duel set to take place at high noon."

The aide's expression changed, as he glanced over at Oberyn. It was like he turned as white as a ghost. "Of course. I'll show you two to the arena."

The closer we got to the arena, the more my fear for myself and Oberyn's lives worsened. I mainly worried for Oberyn's life, only because I was so protective of him. At this point in our relationship, he was mine...and I was his.

I clutched Oberyn's arm tightly, my heart pounding relentlessly against my chest. Multiple large beads of sweat formed on my forehead and occasionally dropped down to the soil below. Apparently, he took notice of it, which didn't shock me one bit, considering he vowed to protect me from my father.

"Are you okay, princess? You're shaking awfully bad," he said.

"Mm hmm," I replied. "I'm just—I'm just afraid of letting you go. If I let you go, I might not get to hold you again. That worries me."

Before we entered the arena, Oberyn made us stop in our tracks, turning to me upon stopping. He took my face into his hands, hesitating before placing a soft kiss on the top of my head.

"You have nothing to worry about, princess," he reassured. "Just promise that you'll trust me on this."

"I promise," I responded simply.

As it neared closer to noon, Oberyn and I found ourselves under a tent that remained adjacent to the ground where the fighting would take place. I was clad in a dress that was colored in different shades of light blue, with different gold accessories—such as a belt and accessorizing chains—adorning it. Meanwhile, Oberyn was clad in brown armor, with a beautifully designed Dornish spear to accompany it.

"Have you considered putting on heavier armor?" I asked. "You know, so someone can't easily stab you."

"But heavier armor will restrict my movements," he politely protested as he sipped on the drink he had, "and I need all the movement I'm able to do in this fight."

"Fine, but will you consider putting on a helmet at least?" I begged.

He smiled, acknowledging my pleading but still standing by his decision. "Not in the slightest, princess. Not when this fight might be easy to win."

I lifted my head to lock eyes with him. "Don't think so highly of yourself. Too much cockiness might be your downfall. I do have to ask, though...whatever do you mean by easy to win? My father isn't an easy man to win against, especially when he's in a particularly bad mood. If he's like that, he'll have a heyday with you, and he'll almost guarantee our deaths."

"Oh, I know," Oberyn said. "It's just that—it's just that rumors are flying quickly. Apparently, the military general for your father is here to fight this duel, not your father. Hell, your father isn't even here to witness this duel go down."

My brows furrowed, my anger slowly boiling to the surface. "He's not even here?"

Oberyn shrugged. "Evidently not."

I was beyond pissed. How could my father do such a thing? He had all the courage to set up this Ultimatum Duel, but he didn't have the balls to come here and fight Oberyn like a man. I consider Oberyn more of a man than my father, not only because of his kind heart but also simply because he showed up. Oberyn showed up like a man to step up to an extremely dangerous and possibly deadly challenge, and my father—that poor excuse of a father—didn't even consider traveling here to face his challenger.

Now, I know who I should put more of my trust into.

"That bitch of a coward!" I exclaimed. "He didn't have the balls to show up to his own fight, the bastard!"

"Calm down, princess," Oberyn said, firmly grabbing my shoulder. "Getting heated isn't going to be of much help in this fight, now is it? Just remain calm, and leave it to me."

Before long, the man known as "The General" stepped out onto the fighting field, yanking out his sword and pacing around with purpose. With each step, he sent fear down my spine, but it wasn't as much fear as I had for the Red Viper at first glance. Now, I am stronger. Stronger than before, all thanks to Oberyn.

But just before Oberyn went out to fight against The General, he turned to me and looked upon me with the softest eyes that I've seen from him yet. We eventually fed into our impulses and shared a passionate kiss with one another, not wanting to let each other go. As he placed his spear-free hand on my back, I used one of my hands to grip onto the outside of his shoulder tightly and used my other to feel the skin at the back of his neck.

I didn't want to let him go, especially since this possibly could be the last time I kissed him. It could be the last time he and I had the pleasure of making physical contact with one another. And if this was the last time I'd kiss him, it was certainly the most pleasurable experience I ever had.

As soon as Oberyn grabbed his spear, he marched out to the fighting field, but not before I left Oberyn with some words that would hopefully motivate him enough to win.

"Promise to not leave me alone in this lifetime," I said.

"Never," Oberyn promised. "Trust me when I say this, Anaysha. Today's not the day I die. You can guarantee that."

I assumed my place in a high-rise gallery specifically for those of higher ranks. But it was only myself, King Stark, and his highest aide who were there. My nerves skyrocketed to a new high, and I didn't let it show, for I didn't want the general public to see that I worried greatly for my possible death. I had to show that I was as strong as steel and not willing to break under immense pressure. I had to show that I was much better than my father. Strong and ruthless yet filled with grace and mercy.

He twirled around his spear for all the crowd to see, and it was safe to say that they were wowed. And to show that I was amazed by his spear-twirling skills, I flashed him a smile as Oberyn faced the crowd, beaming with pride. He then turned back to "The General' and continued the fight without any hindrance whatsoever.

"Haven't they told you who I am?" he asked with boastfulness.

"A dead man walking," the man also known as Dravor Caerlight snarled, swinging his sword at Oberyn.

But Oberyn used his spear to clash with the sword's blade, defending his body from being harmed.

"I am Oberyn Martell," Oberyn said, as he and Dravor circled each other as if they were two predators waiting for the other to lower their guard, "the crown prince of Dorne. The lover of Anaysha Mullendore Sparr, for whom I'm fighting for."

My jaw dropped slightly upon hearing those words. Even though I knew that he'd be the one fighting for my fate, I didn't think that Oberyn would openly declare that he's fighting for me during this duel.

The fight went on for some time, with both Oberyn's spear and Dravor's blade colliding multiple times. Each time, the Viper somehow managed to evade Dravor and remain alive. He was lasting much longer than I thought he would, considering Dravor's size and the assumption that my father would be here to fight. It was quite entertaining to watch, sure, but it built up my anxiety to a point that it could've been considered debilitating.

At some point in the fight, Oberyn was once again knocked to the ground, but instead of rising back to his feet with ease, Dravor was ready, putting his foot on Oberyn's chest as a way to torture him before his death. Oberyn, at this point, was struggling to breathe and was knocking on death's door. I was tempted to say something out loud, but I bit my tongue several times out of fear that Dravor would abandon his duel with Oberyn and brutally ambush me in front of everyone.

Thinking about Oberyn's words earlier on, I knew that I had to say something in order to make him continue fighting. He's too strong to be portrayed as this weak and helpless.

"Keep fighting, Oberyn. Keep fighting," I shouted, deciding to swallow my pride anyway, even if there were consequences.

Dravor kept his foot on the chest of Oberyn, staring into his eyes and plotting his murder methodically and carefully. Meanwhile, near-helpless Oberyn turned his head to the side to try and glance at me from a sideways point-of-view. And even though we locked eyes, Oberyn could see me desperately pleading for him. Oberyn needed to fight back if he had any chance at living. He shouldn't give up this easily. I wouldn't let him.

"Fight, Oberyn! Fight!" I shouted in a last-ditch effort, my breath hindering in anticipation.

And that was when Oberyn had a sudden burst of energy. An energy that can only be described as a flame of anger and rage. It was like a switch flipped, and he became the conquering Red Viper that I had only heard about in fairy tales when I was younger.

He used his spear to stab Dravor in the shoulder, in a place the armor didn't cover. While Dravor screamed in pain, Oberyn rolled out from underneath The General's foot and rose back to his feet, clashing with him multiple times again. With every chance he got, Oberyn stabbed Dravor in places that included the abdomen, the other shoulder, both legs, and plenty of other places.

So far, the chest remained unscathed.

"It would be wise if you shut the mouth of that girl of yours," a distracted Dravor snarled, "before I go up there and shut it myself."

Still irate, Oberyn boldly ripped Dravor's sword out of his hand, chucking it off to the side instantly. To torture him even further and to closely ensure his win, he ripped off Dravor's chest plate and too chucked it far away from the action, capitalizing on the action with another sharp jab to the abdomen.

"If you speak so poorly of her, you speak poorly of me," Oberyn shouted. "And I will not tolerate such disrespect from those who support tyranny that is defined by the cruel Brandeth Sparr!"

I smiled enough to show my dimples, but not enough to show my teeth. I even had to bite my bottom lip to keep from cheering, for it would distract Oberyn and lead to his loss. I couldn't do that when he was so close to securing a victory.

"Surely, you hadn't seen him this angry, Your Highness," King Stark said to me.

"I've seen a glimpse of it," I confirmed. "I consider myself lucky that the rage wasn't directed toward me."

"Then, you'd be in an entirely new boat," the king responded.

One by one, Oberyn managed to rip off most of Dravor's armor, which surprised me considering that Dravor was lauded as a strong, intimidating representative of the Iron Islands. But now, he was being purely embarrassed by the Red Viper, which I am quite happy about.

"Say one more ill word about my lover again, or I will make sure that you never speak any word again," Oberyn snarled as he paced back and forth in front of Dravor, waiting patiently for an opportunity to strike again.

Dravor slowly rose to his feet for a last-ditch effort. An effort that I considered an utter failure.

"I'll—I'll never—never," he snarled in between his fits of wincing in pain. "I'll never—never—stand with such a dirty traitor like your lover. Never!"

Apparently, that was enough for Oberyn. Then again, Oberyn had enough a long time ago, but he wanted to torture Dravor further just to prove that he was in the wrong...and the Red Viper was destined to live on.

He used his leg to knock Dravor flat on his back, and without hesitation, Oberyn took his spear into both hands and drove it through The General's chest as he bellowed, allowing him to be paralyzed for only a second before immediately going limp.

And with that, Oberyn and I's fates were sealed.

He yanked his spear out of dead Dravor's chest and immediately faced the crowd with a proud smile as he was applauded for his victory. By this point, I was giving Oberyn a standing ovation, smiling as I did it. I didn't even show him that I had to pick my jaw up from the ground at the sight of Dravor's death, for that fact was considered inconsequential in comparison to the moments unfolding right now.

He and I locked eyes once again, and I continued to give him the standing ovation that he deserved. Oberyn had once again saved my life—and this time, his own—and I had to show him that I greatly appreciated what he did. Once I got the chance, I met Oberyn back at the place where we were before this duel even started, and boy were we in great spirits.

As soon as we locked eyes again, we ran toward one another, cheering as loud as the crowd was before it all died down. In a moment of pure joy, he swept me off my feet in a tight hug, spinning me around several times before putting me back down.

"That was incredible," I said. "I'd never seen you fight with such ease and grit like that."

He shrugged, becoming humble with his fight to victory. "It was quite simple, really."

"But how'd you do it? How'd you kill him so quickly?" I asked incredulously.

"It's simple, princess," he started, grabbing his spear as part of his explanation. "Since I knew that a simple Dornish spear wouldn't be enough to kill a mountain of a man like that, I coated the tip of it with manticore venom, so that he'd succumb to his injuries quicker."

I nodded and smiled, knowing the negative effects that manticore venom can have on a human...and let's just say that these effects are not for the faint of heart to know about.

Oberyn then pulled me closer to him with one of his arms as we walked away from the arena with the intention of heading back to Dorne. Nothing could bring us down from that victory, for our fates were sealed and our lives were still intact. I was even proud about the fact that this victory would send a strong message toward my father, who would most likely be pissed upon hearing about the result of this duel.

And even though I worried about the hellstorm that might emerge from this, myself and Oberyn can now go into it proudly, becoming stronger than what we were before and becoming the pure personifications of the message we sent my father:

We are here...and we're coming for you.

[yummyboyzpost]

♥!Boss Bakugo x FemReader!♥

-- 𝔽ᒪ𝓤𝔽𝔽/ 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓈𝓉 👊 / ꋊꄲ ꇙM꒤꓄ 𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘦 :0 --

You've worked For Bakugo for about 7 months now becoming somewhat close with him, but he defiantly doesn't hold back on the yelling nor does he give you special treatment but....its Bakugo lol. But what happens when a certain green haired boy comes along. Ohhh nooo who could that be Muhshaahha. You are also Quirkless Oh yes and when I put >(*) Those little star things its just Y/n Talking to herself :) lmao

♥ *part one*♥

(Your pov)

*Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring*

"Oh god, shut up!" I yell at my phone that doesn't seem to stop ringing. It's my one day off who the hell is calling me. I grab my phone seeing the caller id

-𝘒𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘌𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘔𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳🤬💥-

"ahh shit," I answer the phone "GODDAMN IT Y/N!" I pull the phone away from my ear knowing I'm probably gonna be def tomorrow "I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU FOR THE PAST FUCKING HOUR!" He said heaving breathing on the other side of the phone. ((Oh right for got to mention your his assistant, Gooooddd luckkk babes!!)) "Sorry sir, I was sleeping. I ju-" before I could get anything else out he cut me off "You what?" he said in a unsettling calm voice "I just woke up?" I said confused "My office now!" He said with a stern voice. "Oh uh sir, It's my day off." I said laughing not noticing he had hung up

*That bastard, I'm gonna kill him*

As I was walking into Bakugo's building, I bumped into a tall, buff ass man goddaayuumm. I looked up and I had never seen him before and yet he looked so familiar. God he was Hot as shit, *NO! y/n get your shit together, no time for gocking if I don't get to Bakugo in 5 Minutes I'm as good as dead*

"Sorry." I said grabbing my papers and I was about to get off the floor when I was floating, what the actual fuck? "A cute girl doesn't belong on the floor." he said smiling with the most adorable smile ever! omg my heart I think it might explode. what a lovely death that would me I say taking a step back but regaining my footing *No! Y/n snap out of it! You need to get to Bakugo's office!*

"Ah Thank you for your help uhhm?" I questioned hoping he would answer. but why dose he look so- OH GOD! ITS DEKU. I freeze in shock "Midoriya, you?" I was just standing there like an idiot *Come on Y/n! All you gotta do is say your name.* "De- DEKU!" I scream making everyone look at me *YOU DUMB WHORE!* shit... "I-I mean um, I'm L/n! sorry I just um." I don't know what to say... He laughed "It's okay L/n don't worry abt it, I-" He was about to say something but i saw my coffee all over his I'm guessing very expensive shirt. "OH MY GODS! I'm so sorry, I spilt my Coffee on your shirt! I don't really have money to give you. ummm Here," I said reaching into my pocket. "Thats my card, If you need anything call okay? I'll be there I promise! I gotta go or i might get my head blown off. It was really nice to meet you Deku!" I said running to the stairs.

(Deku's Pov)

Wow she was cute, I wondered If she had a Boyfriend. She gave me her card for what? In all honesty I didn't know what for, its just coffee, yea it might stain but i can just get a different shirt. It's not the end of the world. She made me smile on how clumsy she was, I might just call her.

(Y/n Pov)

I knock on Bakugo's doors hearing him groan knowing that was his was of telling me to come in *SHIT I'm dead* I walk in seeing his back turned to me, "You asked to see me?" I asked walking to his desk. "Where were you?" he said in a calm voice which surprised me. "Oh, today was my off day sir. I thought that meant it was yours too." I said sitting in the chair Infront of his desk. He turned around "You have no off days Y/n" he said eyeing me up and down, I didn't really dress to work today. In all honesty I thought we would just ask me to get him lunch. And yes he calls me by my first name, idk why It doesn't bother me. He's never called me L/n since I started working here.

"You look horrible." he said standing up walking over to me. "Excuse me? You know I could've just not came in. And good luck with firing me, cuz you know damn well no one besides me could handle your explosive attitude Katsuki!" I said standing up and about to walk out but he was already Infront of me. He looked angry "Sit." He said with firy eyes. *Shit y/n what were you thinking, you need this job. You can't just quit like that.

He's defiantly gonna fire you now you DUMB BITCH* I was waiting for him to say not to come back but he didn't say anything. Not gonna lie I was scared, he's never been this quite. "Bakugo, I'm sorry I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed." I said sitting back down in my seat. "Deku, huh?" he said eyeing down on me. "Um what?" I said confused. "Oh you mean earlier? I bumped into him on my way up here and spilt my coffee all over him, So I offered to help him with something in return." I said smiling and grabbing the status report out of all the papers I had on my lap. "Also here," I said handing it to him "I finished it early, Although you're not gonna like it." I said standing up again.

"Didn't I tell you to sit," he said placing the paper on his desk, and making me sit back down by placing both of his hands on either side of the chair. his face was so close I could feel his breath on my nose. his eyes... why is he looking at me like that. My cheeks turn red and my shoulder tense up. "Bakugo w-what are you d-doing?" I said with wide eyes, He didn't say anything he just stared at me. he leaned to my left ear "You won't talk to that damn fucking nerd ever again you hear me?" he said breathing hard *Oh My GoD Katsuki if you don't back up right now I'm gonna... Please back up!!!* "Okay." is all I said why wasn't he backing up? I said okay! then I felt a slight pressure on my shoulder and I heard some mumbling. "Bakugo, I can't hear you you're gonna have to move you head" I said as he shook his head.

He moved his head off my shoulder, "It wasn't important, he said backing off me and back over to his chair. I can't help but to think that he was lying. "You can go home." he said going back to work on his computer. I wanted to say something but, I think it's best if I didn't. I walk out with out but before I close the door I look back to say something but his eyes are already on mine. His eyes widen, "There's no need to be jealous Bakugo, you know yours." I say smiling His cheeks turn the slightest color of pink *cute* I walk out of his office and turn to go to my desk *Welp I'm already here might as well get some work done.*

<<Later that day, everyone has gone home except you and Bakugo, that's usually how it is anyways>>

"I thought I told you to go home." A deep voice said, I knew who it was "And I am," I said grabbing my jacket. "I had a lot of emails to look at and since I was already here I just decided to stay." I said smiling and walking over to him. "You don't drive correct?" he said looking at me "Nope, I sure don't" I laugh walking past him. He grabbed my arm I turned around and he was looking away to him the fact that he was blushing but I could tell *He's too cute! Ugh if only he liked me I'd make this man wish he could kiss me all day HAHAHAH* "It's late, let me give you a ride home Y/n," he said letting go of my wrist

*Why is he acting like this, he's never once asked to take me home. well except that one time I fell down the stairs... yea were not gonna talk abt it.* "Um it's okay! the bus runs late on Friday's. I'll be fine." I said smiling. "I wasn't asking." *UGH Bakugo and his demands... not going to lie its sexy as hell but it also mean I cant say no.*

The ride home was quite, he asked me a few questions abt Deku but that was all. When we got to my apartment, he got out and walked me up to my door. "Goodnight Y/n, I'll see you tomorrow." he said looking down at me with those sexy red eyes. "Goodnight Bakugo." I said about to walk into my house when he grabbed the door nob I turned around *AHHH he's way TOOOO CLOSE MY POOR HEART, IS he trying to kill me?* I turned my head to the left and tried to get ahold of my heart.

"Please don't call me that anymore, just call me Katsuki like you did earlier." he said as he leaned down I turned my head back forward and all of a sudden I felt a warmth on my lips, his lips were on mine?!?!?! His eyes widened and so did mine. He backed up and cover his mouth "I- I didn't mean to-" he was talking but I cut him off "No, N-no, it was my F-fault I shouldn't have-" I cut myself off and covered my mouth. "I- Um, Goodnight Bak- Uh I mean Ka-Katsuki!" I said as I turned around and ran inside my apartment.

*Oh god* I slid down my door and onto the floor. *I JUST KISSED KATSUKI BAKUGO!! I THINK IM GONNA PASS THE FUCK OUT.* my heart was racing and I couldn't catch my breath. What have I done?

algf;iuapfiuabg[uabgd OMG haha you guys kissed what a Silly SILLY Y/N ahahahhaha I'll probably post the second part sometime this weekend. Tell me what you think abt it!!!

I am Jumping with joy!!! this was the post i thought i lost forever lmaoooo it was in my dafts im so mf-ing happy haufgpiafpa

[cazzyvintage]

A Freudian Slip - The Sequel

Synopsis: Zemo was always getting on your nerves. Yes, he was hot and god you were attracted to him but he was also your enemy. After what happened last night you were trying your best to pretend it never happened however Zemo isn’t willing to let you do that.

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings/Tags: FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE, Smut, Oral sex, Fingering, Slight fluff, mentions of guns

Author's note: You guys really liked ‘the Freudian Slip’ and I’ve had a few requests to write a sequel, so here I am. This is my first time attempting to write smut for all y'all who are horny for Zemo so um hopefully it’s good. IF YOU KNOW ME NO YOU DON’T

My Master list

“Madripoor knows how to give New York a run for its money,” Sam says as they walk past all these containers.

“They know how to party,” Zemo replies, walking up beside you. His arm grazes against yours, making you tense. Picking up your pace, you reach Bucky and leaving Zemo behind.

Last night you might have made the worst mistake of your life. You had made out with Zemo.

Zemo!

The man that was a terrorist. The man who had caused the Avengers to split up. You hated him! You had to hate him. Right?

Yet when you glance over to him, you can’t help feel warm inside. Goosebumps crawl up your skin as you hear him speak. That accent of his drove you wild. You want to kiss that smirk off his face when he looks at you. His brown eyes bearing into yours. He made you feel alive. He made you feel all hot and bothered. He made you feel confused.

Earlier at Sharon’s party, you were watching him. Usually, you like a party, but this time you held back. Zemo looked around for you, but he eventually gave up and danced on his own. You smiled as you watched him have fun. For those moments he seemed so innocent. You wanted to join him dancing, but Sam and Bucky were already suspicious of you and Zemo. Why it had taken you two so long to reach them after you split up. You had to distance yourself from him. No matter how hard you found it.

You swallow, pushing away the thoughts of you and him as you tried to focus back on the mission at hand.

You arrived at the crater, and Sharon handed you all earpieces to wear. Placing it in your ear and head into the crater. It was pitch black in there, making you stop to try to see anything.

Zemo was following up behind you, and as you stopped walking, he walked into you. You stiffened, feeling his body press up against yours. His arm reaches around, squeezing yours as he moves beside you. Though you couldn’t see him, you just knew he was smirking at you.

Zemo pulled out a flashlight. He shone it in your eyes to annoy you before shining it forward to see the end of the crater. He walked forward, touching the wall, then pushed it. The wall moved, revealing it as a door as music flooded the room. He glances back at you, Sam and Bucky as you all pull out your guns. Sam and Bucky head in and you follow them as Zemo keeps the door open for you. His hand rested on the dip of your back as you walked past, but you shook it off. He turned to stare at you, but you continued to walk ahead, not giving him a second glance.

The song ‘Comin home baby’ plays out of a record as you enter. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you glance around where you were. Rounding the corner, you finally see the man you had been looking for. He was quietly singing along, unaware of the people approaching him from behind. Sam and Bucky questioned him while you and Zemo held back.

You were just there for backup you didn’t want to get involved. Your eyes sneak back to admiring Zemo though, and you wonder just how involved you were. Zemo’s eyes snap to yours as he notices you staring, and he tilts his head at you, his thin lips sneaking up in a curl.

You look away, staring ahead, willing your cheeks to stop blushing.

As Sam and Bucky continued to interrogate the doctor, Zemo walked around the area. You kept trying to see what he was doing while at the same trying to make sure Zemo didn’t notice you.

Sharon runs into the room at that moment, “Guys, we’ve got to go”

Zemo quickly raises his hand, showing a gun he had found, and shoots the doctor dead.

“NO!” both you and Sam shouted, looking at Zemo in shock. Sam crashes into Zemo, holding him against the wall to stop him from shooting anyone else. You rush over and prize the gun out of Zemo’s hand, chucking it to the floor.

Before you got another moment to think, the whole crater exploded. You were flung back down, hitting your head against the floor. Searing pain crossed the back of your head and you let out a yelp of pain.

Groaning, you raised your hand to your head. Pulling it back, you see your hand covered in blood.

“Shit” you mutter trying to wipe your hand on your clothes.

You felt arms wrap around you, pulling you off the floor. You blink, trying to get the dust out of your eyes as the arms guide you out of the rubble. Finally, in the sunlight, you realize Zemo has his hands on your side pulling you along. Just as you two left the remains of the building, it explodes behind you.

“Are you okay?” Zemo questions as he turns you around to look at him. His eyes glanced up and down you in worry as he takes in the extent of your injuries.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Zemo, were they still in there!?” you ask anxiously as you look back to the burning building.

“They’ll be fine, come we need to go,” Zemo insisted, grabbing a hold of your hand again pulling you along. Your head still seized with pain making you trip slightly, but you kept it together.

“Where the hell are we going?” you ask but Zemo doesn’t answer he just keeps running and pulls you up onto a crater.

“Zemo!” you exclaim in annoyance, then your eyes widen as he pulls something out of his pocket.

“What the fuck is that”

“My mask, ”

“Your what now? Since when have you had a mask!” you question, looking at him confused.

“I’ve always had one. Now you need to duck” he ordered, looking over the edge of the crater.

“Why should I do that”

He rolls his eyes and wrenches you down, “Can’t you listen to me for once y/n'' he exclaims. He then grabs your gun and heads to the front of the crate wearing his mask. He shoots a pipe, and it explodes, sending a shock wave through you. You collapse to the ground feeling faint from the blood loss and Zemo rushes back to you.

He puts his hand on the back of your head to help you up, and his eyes widen when he pulls his hand away to see blood covering it.

“Why didn’t you say something” he angrily muttered.

“I’m fine” you groaned, but the black spots you could see in your vision said otherwise.

Zemo wrapped one arm under your legs and the other under your back and picked you up. He held you close to his chest as he ran forward holding you in his arms,

After a few minutes, he helps you stand up, letting you lean on him. You hated how dependent you were on Zemo at this moment, but a darker side of you enjoyed being this close to him. Leaning against a crate, you watch as Zemo finally pulls off his mask and opens one crate. Your eyes widen in shock as you watch him ride out in a car.

He gets out and opens the passenger seat door for you. Putting one arm around your waist and making you wrap your arm around his shoulder. He guides you to the car and helps you in. Both of you don’t speak. He knew you were too embarrassed to, and at this moment he didn’t want to push you.

Driving along you two picked up Sam and Bucky, who were thankful for seeing you alive. The car drive lasted a few hours, but eventually, you arrived at a new city where Zemo had a place you could stay.

Zemo got out of the car to help you out, but by this time you're determined to not rely on him. You pushed the door open, swung your legs out, tried to stand up, and almost fell over, but Bucky grabbed you.

“She needs medical help,” Zemo demanded as he opens the door to the house to let you in. Bucky excuses himself for a walk as Sam and Zemo help walk you into the building. They guide you to the sofa and lay you down. Sam finds some bandages to apply to your head while Zemo pours out some whiskey for you.

“To get rid of the pain,” he says, handing it to you. He sits beside you, gently putting his hand over the bandage on your head.

“Watch it” Sam growls glaring at him,

“My apologies,” Zemo quipped, removing his hand and your heart sinks a bit as he moves away.

With the pain easing, you eventually drift off into a light sleep. You don’t know how long you slept for, but when you woke up and looked around the room, you were in was empty. Feeling stronger, you stand up and start looking around the room. You notice a door off to the side where you could hear running water. Heading towards it, you gently knock on the door.

The water stops, and the door opens slightly to reveal Zemo on the other side. As he sees you, he opens the door and pulls you into the bathroom, closing the door behind you.

“I-I didn’t mean to come in here, I just wanted to see who was around” you mutter as your eyes flicker up and down Zemo. He was currently dressed in a bathrobe, and from the way it looks, not much else. Your eyes focused on the necklace that hung around his neck. How low the bathrobe dipped, exposing a part of his chest. You felt your core warming up and your mind filled with thoughts.

Zemo chuckles as he watches your eyes run up and down him, “Liking what you see?”

You freeze, bringing you back to reality. “N-no” you say, turning around trying to open the door but Zemo wraps his arms around you pulling you to him. He leans his face into your neck kissing it making your eyes flutter shut and let out a slight moan.

“How's your head?” Zemo asks, pulling back from you and raising his hand to touch the bandage.

You turn your head slightly, looking at him annoyed. Hopping from trying to seduce you to a casual conversation as nothing happened.

“I’m fine”

“Well, forgive me darling for not believing you but last time you said that you weren’t”

“I feel better...thank you for helping me”

“Anytime darling” he whispers in your ear. As his body presses into you, you could feel near your ass a bulge pressing against you.

“Why have you been ignoring me?” he then asks

“I haven’t” you quickly reply. He turns you around and pushes you against the door, tilting his head and staring intently

“Don’t lie to me y/n”

His serious glare makes you feel fuzzy, makes you feel warm but also angry at him. He knows very dam well why you have.

“Because Zemo, you are supposed to be a bad guy. Someone I should hate! I shouldn’t be doing thinking things of you”

He leans towards you, his lips grazing yours, “Such as?”

You pause for a moment, knowing you shouldn’t step over this line, but you just can’t help it.

“Fucking you”

“Oh? Such dirty thoughts. I thought you were above such things.” Zemo purrs

“Stop teasing me!” You whine. You try to lean forward to capture his lips but he leans back, putting his finger on them.

“Ah y/n, I want you to make a promise before we get anywhere”

“What”

“Please...don’t ignore me”

You look into his eyes and for once it was like the mask he always wore, of a self-absorbed man slipped away. You were staring into the eyes of a desperately lonely man.

“I promise, but Sam and Bucky can’t know”

Zemo grins, his teeth flashing. “I won’t tell if you don’t”

His lips crash onto yours, hungrily pressing against them. You open your mouth as his tongue explores yours. His hands wander up and down your body, pressing hard against your skin. He roughly grabs your arms and pushes you over to the sink. He picks you up and places you onto it. His lips leave yours, trailing down your jaw and neck.

His fingers venture downwards as well, slipping past the hem of your trousers. He moves them down past your underwear and slips into your private parts. You gasp as his fingers graze over your clit. The feeling sending shivers through you. You can feel Zemo smirking against your skin as he leaves a hickey against your collarbone. You grasp his hair, tugging on it, making him moan into your skin.

He removes his hands from you and grasps a hold of your trousers, pulling them off. He quickly pulls down your underwear while you remove your shirt. You attempt to grasp his bathrobe, but he ducks down.

He slowly parts your thighs, trailing kisses along them as he moves closer to your core. Your legs felt like jelly, as you expected him. He chuckles looking up to you, “So needy for me” he jested before wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking.

You chuck your head back, moaning in pleasure as warmth floods your core. Your hands grasp his hair, holding him tightly as he continues to lick and suck at your clit.

“Be careful Y/n, these rooms are not soundproof” he says, releasing his lips from you but you are beyond the point of caring. You wrap your thighs around his head, pushing back to you.

His fingers touch your core, finding it soaked where they easily slip inside. You moan at the feeling of his fingers stretching you out. He pumps them in and out of you at a rapid rate while his tongue twisted on your clit, eliciting moans out of you.

“Zemo” you gasp as you felt your limit coming. “Zemo I’m going to-” you break off, unable to finish the sentence as you finally release as you see stars.

After a few moments, you are brought back to reality as you can feel Zemo run his tongue up your core drinking you in. He pulls back from you and stands up. His eyes trailing up and down your body as you lie there recovering from your pleasure. “So beautiful” he whispers.

You reach forward, grabbing a hold of his bathrobe and tugging it down his body till he wasn’t covered anymore. He swiftly moves over to a draw, pulling out a condom wrapper. Tearing it open with his mouth, he pulls the condom out and slips it onto himself.

His hands reach out to you, wrapping them around your body, pulling him closer to you. He rests his head on your shoulder as he pushes into you. You moan loudly in his ear as you feel him enter and cling to him, dragging your nails up and down his back. He grunts as he thrusts into you. Moaning as you squeeze your legs tighter for him. He trails kisses on your shoulder, gently biting a part of your skin.

“Y/N” he breathes, pulling back from your shoulder and claiming your lips again.

He pulls back from your lips and smirks at you teasingly, “Are you going to call me daddy again?”

You flush bright red remembering that night, “Damn you” you rasp out

He chuckles, leaning back towards your ear, “I don’t mind if you do”

At that moment he hits a certain spot within you, making you cry out. “There Daddy, please” you gasp and he complies, attempting to hit the spot again within you. His hands sneak back down and rub your clit, making jolts of pleasure run through you.

You feel yourself coming to another release, making you tangle your hands in his hair. You let it all out, seeing stars. After a few more thrusts, Zemo slows down and lets out a moan.

You two stay like that for a few minutes, just holding each other. Eventually, Zemo pulls back, pulling his condom off. He brushes the hair away from your face and gently places a kiss on your lips.

“You were great darling”

Tag list: @ineffablebean

Tagging who asked and showed interest in a sequel: @breakfastatlenas @prestigious-tea

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Could you please write Jason and Y/N (Father of Mine Universe) with prompts 48, 31, and maybe 30? could go either way.

Even if you choose not to write this, thanks for creating Father of Mine, it's one of my favorite fics!

Father of Mine

48. Using your body to shield them from attack.

31. Hurriedly checking for their pulse.

30. Performing CPR when they stop breathing.

Jason and Y/N were walking along the water after getting dinner.

Most of the harbors in Gotham were run by one crime lord or another. Which meant that there were very few areas on the water for civilians to enjoy – or feel safe. 

But Jason knew of a strip that was under the radar.

There were a few other couples with the same idea. And random groups of kids and teenagers hanging out and messing around.

Jason was relaxed.

That was his first mistake.

Jason had immediately clocked a random middle-aged man who was covered in sweat and was visibly trembling.

Being far too familiar with the sight, Jason assumed the guy was another unfortunate addict. 

But then he noticed the man was carrying a backpack.

Jason had all of 5 seconds to realize what was about to happen.

He shielded Y/N with his body while screaming as loud as he could, “Get down!”

Jason knew he couldn’t save everyone, and Y/N would always be his number one priority.

The next second, the bomb exploded.

The impact knocked Jason unconscious.

For how long, he had no idea.

He was disoriented from the explosion, his ears ringing from tinnitus and his vision struggling to focus from the vertigo. Yet, somehow he could still hear the beating of his heart in his eardrums. 

People were screaming in pain around him and others were crying as they looked down at their loved ones. Half the harbor was on fire from the explosion. Cement and debris was everywhere. Jason’s hair was grey from it.

He blinked and then panicked.

“Y/N!” Jason screamed when he realized she wasn’t anywhere near him.

He jumped to his feet and whipped around in every direction looking for her.

“Y/N!” He screamed even louder, his throat burning from the effort.

Then he realized when the explosion when off they had been standing next to the railing that blocked off the water. The railing that had now been blasted away and into the harbor.

Jason sprinted to the edge and looked down at the black water below.

Without hesitation, he dove into the depths.

It was almost impossible to see anything.

But just seconds later, he found Y/N unconscious and completely submerged.

Jason had never swam faster in his life.

But when they breached, Y/N didn’t gasp for air.

She was completely unconscious.

Jason’s eyes darted around, trying to find their escape.

By some miracle, there was a rusty ladder that led back up to the pier from the water.

Jason put Y/N’s body over his shoulder as he climbed the ladder, silently praying that the metal didn’t break under their combined weight.

When they reached the top, he gently laid her down and his fingers shot to the pulse point at her neck.

Nothing.

“No, no, no,” Jason mumbled. “Y/N. Come on, baby. You’re not doing this to me.”

He found his Red Hood comm in the pocket of his jacket, and put it to his hear.

“Contact Bruce,” he commanded the AI as he started performing CPR on Y/N.

“What is it?” Bruce answered with slight panic. 

Jason had never called him like this before. And therefore Bruce knew immediately something terrible happened.

“Get the fucking jet here right now,” Jason growled.

“What’s happened?” Bruce asked, but it was obvious he was moving around already to leave.

“There was an explosion. She doesn’t have a pulse and she’s not breathing,” it was all Jason was capable of giving him. “Just get the fucking jet here now!”

He didn’t have time to explain more and hung up. And he didn’t have to say Y/N’s name for Bruce know who he was talking about. There was only one woman in Jason’s life that would have him sounding so panicked and desperate.

Jason continued his CPR, fully focused now that he knew Bruce was on the way.

Still nothing.

He did another round of compressions.

Jason’s eyes started watery as his mind began to believe that Y/N wasn’t going to make it.

He wouldn’t survive.

Y/N had changed his life. She made him better, made him good, made him want to worker harder – do literally anything to become the man she deserved and to continue to be deserving of her love.

“Please,” Jason whimpered. “Please don’t leave me.”

But then Y/N’s eyes shot open and she immediately turned over and started coughing up water.

“Holy fuck,” Jason gasped in relief at the sight.

Y/N continued coughing until her throat was scratched and dry.

Jason rubbed her back, trying to comfort her without preventing her body from getting all the water out of her lungs.

After she finished, she was shaking from being freezing cold and from the shock.

Despite him also being wet, Jason put his coat over her shoulders.

“Don’t ever fucking do that to me again,” Jason begged Y/N as he pulled her into his arms. 

He kissed the crown of her head and hoped his body heat would be enough to warm her up.

“What happened?” Her voice had never been raspier and it was now quivering.

“A bomb went off. I thought I shielded you from it, but the impact must’ve thrown you into the harbor.”

“I’m OK,” she tried to tell him. But her shaking voice was unconvincing. 

Jason wasn’t letting go of her anytime soon.

It was only 5 minutes later that the batplane touched down on what remained of the pier.

Jason looked up to see Dick, Tim, and Damian jump out and immediately start helping the injured.

But Bruce, dressed in his Batman uniform, was walking straight to Jason and Y/N.

“She needs to go to a hospital,” Jason called out when Bruce was a few yards away. “Her heart stopped beating and her lungs took in too much water.”

Jason knew Bruce wouldn’t argue with taking Y/N there immediately.

Bruce was clearly relieved at seeing his daughter alive and conscious. But that didn’t mean she was in the clear. Nearly drowning still had its risks. If her heart stopped beating, she was in danger of brain damage or pneumonia.

“I’ll take her. You help the others,” Bruce ordered as he stepped forward to take Y/N from Jason’s arms.

“Like fucking hell I am,” Jason growled as he stood up with Y/N in his arms.

Bruce was about to fight him on it, but then he met Y/N’s eyes. Her skin was pale and almost had a blue tint to it. She looked so small and vulnerable in Jason’s arms. Not like the strong and grown woman that had first strutted into Wayne Manor.

“I’m not leaving her,” Jason added for good measure.

Bruce finally sighed and nodded. “Take the jet. You know where to go. I’ll meet you there.”

Before Jason could carry her away, Y/N whispered, “What about the others?” 

Her eyes tried to look around her boyfriend’s broad shoulders to see the other victims.

“B is going to help them,” Jason gently told her. He even angled his body to block her line of sight. She didn’t need to see any of it. 

“We already have ambulance and firemen on the way,” Bruce added, hoping it would convince her further not to worry herself. 

There was nothing she could do for them anyway. 

Then Bruce locked eyes with Jason. “Go. Get out of here. Take care of her.”

“Always,” Jason muttered quickly before hurrying Y/N to the jet.

————————

Y/N woke up to two low voices clearly having a serious discussion, but trying to keep their voices down.

When she opened her eyes, Y/N realized she was in a hospital room. But it wasn’t just any room. It seemed like a five-star hotel with how fancy it was. It didn’t have that sterile smell or those harsh fluorescent lights that caused headaches.

“It was a turf war,” Bruce told Jason quietly. “Carmine has jurisdiction over the harbor the two of you were at tonight. But Farrelli wanted it for himself. He forced his latest victim to bring the bomb.”

Jason crossed his arms. “So, the guy was dead either way, Farrelli just thought he’d put him to some use before he murdered him.”

Bruce nodded. “And kill five more people with him.”

“Five people died?” Y/N burst out without realizing it.

Both men’s heads whipped in her direction.

“You’re awake,” Jason sighed and immediately rushed to her side.

“What hospital am I at?” She mumbled, looking around again.

“Gotham General,” he told her as he sat on the edge of the bed to face her.

Jason gently grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. But he had no intention of letting it go, keeping a tight hold and rubbing his thumb back and forth across her skin.

Bruce was slower to join them as he walked with his hands in his pant pockets.

“This isn’t Gotham General,” she commented with a suspicious gaze. 

Jason scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Well, as soon as Bruce arrived, they realized that you’re Gotham royalty by blood, and brought you to a special suite.”

Then Y/N’s eyes slowly moved to her father. “Five people died from the explosion?”

She needed to know. But she also knew that both men would try to protect her from possible survivor’s guilt.

So Bruce just nodded.

“How are you feeling?” Jason asked, trying to distract her by changing the subject.

“Tired. And my throat is sore,” she admitted with a light shrug.

Then she looked up at Jason and really took him in.

There were dark shadows under his eyes – the eyes that were still a bit bloodshot. 

Had he been crying? She hadn’t registered that. 

His hair was a mess, probably from drying haphazardly after jumping into the water to save her.

“Are you OK?” She asked.

It would be right on brand for Jason to risk his life saving her, but ignore any and all injures that he’d received from the same life-threatening travesty.

“I’m fine. Always am,” Jason reassured her too quickly.

Bruce chimed in,“We were all just worried about you, Y/N.”

Both men knew her next question was going to be about the well-being of Damian, Dick, and Tim.

“Can we go home?” She asked softly.

Y/N had always hated hospitals. And once her mother got cancer, Y/N absolutely despised them. Now all she had attached to them was bad memories that constantly threatened to trigger her. 

“They just need to get a scan back, make sure everything’s good,” Jason tried to comfort her. “Once that’s good, I’ll take you home.”

He knew her distaste for hospitals and was prepared for her to want to escape at the earliest opportunity.

“Scan?” Y/N questioned.

“You didn’t have a pulse,” Bruce explained. “You have a concussion. We need to make sure there was no brain damage or any lasting side effects.”

“Right,” she mumbled, trying not to sound worried.

“You’re gonna be fine,” Jason reassured her as he cupped her cheek.

“Perhaps you should stay at the manor for a few days,” Bruce offered. “You can relax and not be bothered.”

“She can not be bothered in our apartment,” Jason interrupted, giving him side eye.

“Jason…” Y/N warned gently.

She knew the signs of Jason getting worked up. The fire in his eyes was always something Y/N could read – more than anyone else.

Bruce wasn’t offended by Jason’s little snipe. He was used to his temper. But his gaze did turn rather serious. 

“Could I talk to you outside for a moment?”

Jason was about to refuse, not wanting to leave Y/N’s side. But he knew that would just most likely lead to an argument. And Y/N didn’t need to hear or see that. She was already exhausted and recovering. The last thing she needed was to witness was her father and boyfriend going at it – especially over her.

So Jason just nodded and stormed out of the room.

The quicker they got this over with, the better.

As soon as the door closed, Jason was sizing Bruce up.

“What exactly is your next move?” Bruce questioned.

“I’m going after Farrelli,” Jason rumbled, as if it was obvious.

No one put Y/N in danger and got away with it. Jason had already come up with a plan on how to seek his revenge. 

It was going to be gruesome and dirty, but nothing less than what the bastards deserved.

Bruce clearly had expected this answer. “So do you plan on doing that while you take care of Y/N?” And he tilted his head as he challenged Jason.

“Are you really trying to stop me?”

Bruce took a step forward. “No, Jason. I’m trying to protect you from yourself. You get blinded by vengeance. And I let you get away with it. But now your actions don’t just effect you…they effect her, too.”

Jason blinked.

“Y/N needs you right now. Even though she will act like she doesn’t.” Bruce inhaled. “If you’re going to put revenge over her wellbeing, she should stay at the manor.”

This was a somewhat of a warning – an opportunity for Jason to do the right thing before he could make his mistake.

Jason’s head hung low now. “I can’t let him get away with it. She almost died, Bruce.”

“And he won’t. But we’ll take care of it,” Bruce promised.

Jason thought it about a moment, before he finally nodded slowly. “I think the manor would be good. But I won’t leave her.”

“I never said you had to,” Bruce corrected.

Jason nodded again and made his way to the door of Y/N’s room again.

“Jason?” Bruce called.

He turned around with an eyebrow quirked.

“Thank you for saving her life.”

Jason tried not to roll his eyes, but took a few steps back to Bruce. 

“You have your opinions about me and her, I’m sure. But I want to make this is clear: I’m always going to protect her. Always. What happened tonight is never going to happen again. I’d die protecting her.”

Jason didn’t wait for Bruce’s response before turning back around. 

But just as he opened Y/N’s door her heard, “I know, Jason. I’ve always known.”

—————

Jason was able to convince Y/N to stay at the manor.

And she surprisingly agreed – as long as he came with her.

Alfred spoiled her rotten with all of her favorite meals. He was constantly bring her tea or coffee. 

Damian ordered all of his pets to keep her company and cuddle with her. To the point where Jason was annoyed because there was literally no space for him.

Tim downloaded a hundred movies for her to watch. 

Dick sent flowers and chocolates. 

Even Clark stopped by when he heard what happened. 

Unbeknownst to Y/N, all the boys and Bruce were working on taking down Farrelli. 

If Jason was the man from just a few years ago, Farrelli’s corpse would already be rotting somewhere in Gotham. But he had changed. Now they had to do things the right way.

Jason stuck to Y/N’s side like glue. He hovered, watched her like a hawk, wouldn’t let her do anything on her own.

After of a few days of this, Y/N finally had enough.

“You gonna talk to me anytime soon?” She asked him in bed on their third night.

Jason broke their eye contact.

“Jason. Please?” She whispered.

Silence filled the room.

“I can’t do it.”

Her brow furrowed. “Can’t do what?”

For a split moment, she thought he was about to try and break up with her. 

“I can’t watch you get hurt again. I just…I can’t.”

She cupped his cheeks. “But I’m right here. And I’m fine, Jason.”

“When I…” He hesitated. “When I died. I knew it was coming. I saw the bomb counting down and I knew there was no escape. I accepted my fate. I knew I was going to die. And I was scared.” 

Jason shook his head and took in a deep breath, “But Y/N…that was nothing compared to what I felt when I was convinced I’d lost you. I’m never been so fucking terrified in my life.”

Y/N smothered him with her embrace. “I’m so sorry for scaring you. But I’m OK. Please just focus on that. Please.”

“I can’t lose you, Y/N.” Jason whispered into her hair. “This place was hell before I met you. And I have no fuckin’ interest in fighting it without you.”

Y/N wished she could promise Jason that she would never leave him. But she was the child of a mother who passed far too soon. She knew life and death could be so cruel, ripping the loved ones away with or without warning.

No, she didn’t die this time. But who was to say something like this wouldn’t happen again? And maybe next time, she wouldn’t be so lucky. They lived in Gotham after all.

“Fate may have other ideas…But I never plan on leaving your side, Jason. I love you too much to do anything else.”

Jason actually laughed. “I can fight fate.”

He’d done it once before.

----------------

I have a few more of these prompts for bonus material. But let me know what you think 🤗