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went to the beach w kp & 4 other indian friends & 3 of us had NEVER surfed before girl WHEW it’s SO fun literally only 20quid to rent a wetsuit & board & i fucking smashed my toes on the sand so much, but also we 1) got the wrong tickets so we got off 1 stop early 2) went to find a bus & the bus that was supposed to be 15 min turned into an HOUR 3) on our way to find a bus back everyone’s phones are dying or dead bc it took us 3hrs longer to get there, cigarettes are out 4) all of the shops in town are closed & the town seems to have ONLY a tesco extra & 1 off license that sells a PACK FOR 15.65 A PACK WHICH IS FUCKING CRIMINAL ITS CHEAPER TO BUY IT FROM TESCO ARE U INSANE 5) the bus back to the other town kept skipping us bc the bus stop wasn’t the ACTUAL bus stop - i had 1 bowl since literally 11a & we got back at fucking 11p 😭😭😭
#diary#i was honestly abt to strangle EVERYBODY#‘do u have a cigarette’ ‘where’s ur vape’ ‘where are we going’ ‘which bus is it’ ‘do u have a ___’ ‘did u bring ___’ girl what am i DORA w#the magic fuckin BACKPACK ??? while ur UP MY ASS dig around & SEE IF SMTHGS IN THERE 😭😭😭😭#i literally broke sobriety again bc i was just#girl i was so agitated & there was 1 TRAIN LEFT BEFORE 11P so we needed to get the 2ND TO LAST BUS OF THE DAY#i deadass was like ‘if we miss that train i will make sure u all go blind’ ‘did u bring a knife’ ‘I DONT NEED 1’#AKSJAKSKAKKSJSKSSJAKJSKAHSKSHDLASKAKDLA#LIKE U BITCHES SMOKED ALL MY CIGARETTES MY VAPES DEAD MY PHONES DYING UR ALL DRUNK IM GOING TO KILL YALL 😭😭😭😭😭#<- me knowing i could never be a parent#tbh if i caught my kid smoking a cig id make em do the ol ‘im going to sit down in front of u w a fresh box of cigarettes & make u finish#the box or pass out’#YES IM STRICT#i think it’s so funny ok unrelated but like they’ll speak hindi & i’ve just#learned it through being around them kind of like i can’t speak it except for some word u know like matachot etc but i’ll Understand the#Context & what’s being Said#ASLKALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA like while waiting for the train back 1 of them was talking abt me being a fool to the others - literally they’re#all indian & i had walked away so when i walked back he was still talkin but then i started giggling bc i knew he was talkin abt me & how i#pinched a bit of the kebab to throw to the seagull bc he offered it to me & i needed to bait the seagull w something & i pinched & tossed &#& he looked at me like 😦 bhenchod ! & then the seagull came over & i was like :D hi bestie <3333 but then when i started giggling after i#walked back he was like ‘what the fuck does he just know hindi now’#it makes me laugh so fucking HARD 😭😭😭😭😭 LIKE FUCK U I LIKE TO PARTICPATE IN COVERSATION IDC ABT LANGUAGE#like i’ve been surrounded by yall for the past#girl it’s been like a year i don’t even talk to british ppl or americans#ALSKALSKALSKALKSLAKSLALSLA MESS ! i love to slavsquat & kp hates it bc he’s like ‘we’re in the uk why are u sitting like this’ bc he thinks#it’s ’too indian’ ALSKALSKALSKALJSKAKDLA 😭😭😭😭😭 this hips were made for sitting#we’re definitely going to go back bc it’s SO CLOSE IF WE ACTUALLY USE THE TRANSPORT PROPERLY ITS ONLY LIKE AN HOUR OR SO COMMUTE EACH WAY#bring lunch whatever#i’m exhausted but also socially like bro i had to leave the donner place just to walk around the block for SOME QUIET#i’ve just been sososososo busy LOSING MY MIND
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was forced at gunpoint to murder my girl's reputation today
#hope the forger is enough of an edit watermark to make it clear this isnt in-game content sgdhfjk#the struggle is real...#at least since im not as strict with canon as i am with the ghosties account i can safely ignore this tidbit of her storyline#she was an author before & wrote for a living yes. society loved her work yes. but thats as much as i can keep from persuasive MYN#bc frankly most of it would be so ooc for her... now that shes more hellbent on revenge than ever... she'd find any other way ...#Even if she followed with this part she'd 100% dip on day one of governor term LOL#rei only got roped into an entire term during evolution bc of the naturalist btw. the THINGS they put themself thru for that man smhhh#fallen london#fl meme#inspect element is fun actually i might do oc storylets sometime#fl liveblogging
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Magical Girl Keychains for an upcoming con (TuTu was done back in '23 orz)
Also just really wanted to draw my favs
#I was possessed while rewatching pmmm#still never finished sailor moon lmaooo one of these days ill make my bf marathon it with me#also yes im the mfer who refuses to draw the new tmmm designs#og supremacy#i just love how poofy the skirt looks n the HLs / implied fabric texture of it#tokyo mew mew#sailor moon#pmmm#madoka magica#anime fanart#fanart#merch#and i recorded like 90% of the process from start to finish on the newer 3!#i just... need to edit video#i think the worst is just idk what to do for bg noise bc of how strict copyright shit is now n days#but its so time consuming finding good royalty free stuff that doesnt sound like a dating sim from a renpy forum made by a ambitious 15 yr
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hello svtfoe commentator on YouTube. on your left is a picture of meteora butterfly pre season 4. on your right is a pipe bomb controlled by me. tell me about this character WITHOUT belittling her for her mental health issues and mentioning how being a mixed race WOMAN shapes all aspects of her personality and experiences and how that ties back to the main themes of the show, even if in ways that are lacking.
#meteora butterfly#meteora posting#svtfoe#{i was afraid to put it in the main tag but idgaf#if i have to sit thru another video essay where they talk about meteora briefly and calling her an idiot im gonna kill everybody#/lh /j#she could have a gigantic sign with 《A BIG PART OF THIS CHARACTER IS HOW SHE IS DEEPLY AFFECTED BY MISOGYNY》 stuck on her forehead and SOME#of you out there will still not get it#and dont get me wrong i think the way the show illustrates it is not top notch (especially in her arc resolution) but its so obvious that -#the depth of her character is tied to it that it baffles me when people say she doesnt have much going on#yes cis male youtube commentator im sure the story of this woman who was raised under the strict unforgiving standards required of womanhoo#and how she adheres to it to the point of both mental exhaustion and physical repression is not at all profound to you#dont piss me off#again does the show display it well? i'd argue sometimes yes like in skooled and st o's#some other times... no not really#but its there. its a theme. its a pretty big theme of her FUCKING CHARACTER#sigh. sighhhhh#got so caught up in the joy of an old woman getting vindication on her abuser that i forgot some people dont see misoginy as a real issue#these are ramblings and i hope i managed to make sense (english is not my first language)#but ughhhh. raughhhhsvd. USGHHH}#carols.txt
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does "queer" actually mean anything about same sex attraction and sex dysphoria anymore, or is it just a corporately co-opted identity yall slap onto your profiles to say youre Cool and Kooky and Not Like All Those Other Squares, possibly in an attempt to asuage white/hetero guilt
#75 percent of the people online who call themselves queer are straight and cis#ppp#im qlways hesitant to call myself queer one#because i dont like referring to myself by a slur that people got yelled at them#when they were getting kicked out of their homes and beat to death#but also two because boyyyyyyyy lets be real its mostly just spicy straights identifying as it now a days huh#i always think of that poll that was like#does someone dressing gnc (ie different from the strict made up gender roles their society has placed on them) make them queer#and like 75 respondents said yes#like some 90 year old
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deltarune fans can only think in extremes
#this goes for both toriel and asgore#they have shown a few flaws and people take them a MILE#toriel was shown getting drunk ONCE and suddenly shes labeled an alcoholic & neglectful mom#asgore is an awkward man trying to keep his family together after splitting from his wife Of Many Years and gets labeled a stalker#are kris/susie & toriel both justified with being uncomfortable with these respective scenarios? yes#but that doesnt make toriel or asgore evil😭 when has toby ever made a 100% evil character#i dont even think carols gonna be 100% evil. she seems like strict & nefarious rn but were only 4 chapters in#idk im just getting annoyed seeing how people treat toriel and asgore AND EVEN RALSEI. like GUYS😭 whatever
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Once again at the doctor's office for coeliac disease related complications.... Chronic/autoimmune diseases can go choke on cacti 🙃
#even following a super strict gluten-free diet isn't the cure#it just means you dont have big ouchies when you eat#i always have 2-3 vitamin deficiencies no matter what#waiting for results of the blood test i did 2 weeks ago... hhhhh#i know i have low serum ferritin and vitamin D#but i don't know how severe until after this appointment#and yes im pretending arthur is in the seat next to me holding my hand🥹#he always comes with me and im wearing my joker coat for extra comfort
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ultimately i just dont understand how modesty rules for women actually respect women when often they take body parts or shapes that were never objectionable or sexual and make them so. there were places where women could be topless because there was no separate, distinct meaning applied to women's bare chests. and then non-natives went in and said "no, actually, women's breasts are inherently sexual and meant for the husband's enjoyment". they did the same thing with legs and midriffs and shoulders and arms and you get the idea.
like how does this help me? it's new things to stress about. now i exist in a sexualized state that I didn't before, and it's not just me -- it's a cultural and social shift, too. Men and boys who were raised not to give a fuck about legs now lose their minds because they've been told it's normal to lose their minds about women's legs, specifically. when you live in a place that genuinely doesn't care about shoulders or thighs, having someone say you NEED to care about them specifically on women and girls because otherwise a Man will jack off to you, or you'll be likened to a sexually open and available woman, is disturbing. Normal people don't think like that.
And then they try to add some level of paternalism or chivalry to it. They say "Yeah 85-90% of your body is inherently sexual but look! Rather than be a sex toy for any random man on the street, isn't it so much better if it's the man you marry? Why don't you wear this or do that for your husband?" Like oh okay yeah that solves me being objectified. Now I'm for the sexual consumption of One Man instead of Many, and this man I happen to legally/religiously/socially owe my body to anyways. Now something that wasn't deemed sexual to begin with (shorts, tank top) has an inherently sexual overtone because it's gone from "Wear this when its hot out or just because you like it" to "Wear this for the Man who has a Sexual Right Over your Body. Wear This to Titillate Him".
#angel posts#esp when you have fat women or curvy women or women who stand out#and suddenly now its even harder for them to be modest#but mens legs and shoulders NEVER get this level of attention#this rewriting#men everywhere be shirtless damn near when they want#let a woman have some cleavage and its like she's slaughtered a family#modesty's v much based on cishet men's attraction to anything they perceive as a woman#and yes even in places where men have modesty rules too (like some christians ive seen) its still not nearly as strict as what it is for wo#*women#which is so funny to me because it also ends up denying women's sexuality entirely#like letting men wear shorts or more fitted things#even if they are long#oh so you dont think a woman could go crazy seeing some calves or arms? or shoulders?#you dont think your muscles are insanely suggestive rn?#and im saying this as an Igbo person lmao I remember how my ancestors used to dress#even my mom said when she was little there were odler women in the village#who wouldn't wear tops#why would they?#that was white christianity that told everyone women exist for men's consumption
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people i refuse to write for:
kento. nanami.
#i have a confession to make:#i do not fw nanami like that#he’s cool he’s sweet yes aww so cute but he’s not for me#i have this thing where when i watch or play any piece of media there is a specific type of character i strongly do not like#and nanami fits that description perfectly#like i can pinpoint exactly who is going to be those kind of people#like lucifer from obey me … this one guy from another game … this other guy ..#i just don’t like strict office worker people#they give me the icks#like those w strict rules and who act 8 times their age#i don’t like them.#talking with atlas !#ik im gonna get jumped for that like ‘eww but you like suguru ??’ YES FUCK OFF#FUCK OFF SUCK MY STRAP BITCH#like nanami will be there as a filler character but i js don’t see myself writing for him#ever.
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i can’t imagine having only one bias/wrecker in ateez. every time i watch any singular member do anything im like ah, yes, my Bias. I Love You, 🥰❤️🔥
#like yes seonghwa is my ult bc it feels v much like if he was a real person who existed in my life he would be my soulm*te or WHATEVER 🙄#and then the other two demons are also my biases. and then the rest of them are also my biases#i guess wreckers. i guess. i’m actually very very normal abt the lil bear i think bc he seems so straight to me LMAO that he doesn’t make me#Insane. like the rest of them do. but i still love him so dearly ???????????#like what am i supposed to do other than be ot8 HOW does anyone just choose one. yall are crazy theyre all so good#like my two friends i knew before getting into ateez have One Bias and One Wrecker. HOW.#too strict with your love. love them all fully and thoroughly 😤‼️‼️#anyway i’m watching wooyoung’s new courreges vid and he’s so hot im like yes that is my bias. he is not but also he is. i want him
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How Meredith started (vanilla game) vs. how she is now (modded).
#Lexie plays CP2077#V!Meredith#my barbie fr#yes this is meredith dragon age i have a problem (im gay)#she's a little more.... less strict in her personal life lol#ends up going cyberpsycho by the end but that's fine#im doing an INT / Reflex build on her with smart weapons!#it's getting better now that im getting better guns finally
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TOO FEMME TO BE MASC TOO MASC TO BE FEMME WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DOOOOO 😫😫😫
#before you comment ‘oh you don’t have to be either you know lesbian presentation isn’t a binary!’: yes i fucking know that believe me#yes it’s not a binary. yes i don’t have to be strictly femme and strictly masc. i’m aware of that#believe me. i know ALL about obscuring binaries but that’s a different post#the problem is that it’s still often just boiled down to that distinction#and those are like. so fucking strict when people care to uphold them???#like. femmes are held to a certain ideal of beauty. mascs are held to a certain ideal of behavior. you know???#do i fit the femme ideals? absolutely not i hate trying to wear a lot of femme fashion#do i fit the masc ideals? absolutely not im a goof 24/7 and i hate trying to withhold genuine emotions#i hate trying to be always tough but i hate having to always be sweet and cutesy#anyway my point is: lesbian presentation is not a binary until it’s upheld as one. and if i don’t fit what the fuck do you want me to be???#can we move the fuck on from binaries please???#tldr i hate how femme vs masc has just become woman vs man again in certain spaces it’s fucking horrible what are y’all doing over there#grace being stupid#text post#wlw#lgbtq#lesbian#sapphic
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I literally have 0 classes with my friends because they are all smart and I'm stupid and my irl bestest friend my only way to talk to her is during irl because she never replies to my texts and if she ever does it's so dry and takes her incredibly long to type
I miiight have one class with a friend but we've never seen each other irl and literally were just emailing each other but Im scared to talk to them because they are so awesome and literally so pretty and I'm literally so fugly 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
Wish me luck chat!!!
#SCHIOL STARTS TOMORROW AND IM TERRIFIED#IM SO DUMB AAA MY GRADES.. 💔💔💔#i will raise them this year TRUST ME!!! (Aahahaha)#also i have a strict teacher which is.. great.. 🙁#BUT I AM AMAZJNG and will get through this becausr im cool 😎😎#ok jm done yapping IT WINT EVEN BE THAT BAD IM JUST OVERREACTING I KNOW IM JUST MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT#if i fix my talking skills IT MIGHT BE MY YEAR#i got this. 😃yes#i forgot about homework now i dont like that#i need to get paid for this#Im doing WORK for 40 HOURS a WEEK#😱😱😱child labor smh 🤦♂#tw school
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I cant wait for novocaine...
I hope they do what they said theyd do and replace my rotted tooth with my wisdom one
(If you say thats not what they do, they told me thats what theyvwere going to do!)
#yes i know i need better hygiene#my parents wanted me to do it but werent strict enough with it now im trying to catch up#honestly someoen reminding me would help a lot tbh#cami's thoughts#dentist
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the arts not arting!!
#i'm fine im fine#i'm not mad#just disappointed lmao#i'm like this close 👌 to calling it quits and reading more worst witch#lol listen#it's SO cute okay!!!!#i love when the staff is included and I'm on the second to last book and I'm being spoiled with Miss Cackle and HB and all#i needed the hackle dude#like you gotta understand lol#but also i stopped reading because what am i going to do after i finish reading the books!!! i'm already sad hahaha!!!#toad rambles#anywho it's storming#and i was listening to the rain and i was like well maybe one more sketch before bed -w-#omg yall i even wrote a bit of fic today!! it went okay i think!! but i'm not sure because i had that 2am brain hyping me up lol#and i drew lots of hearts! because it's my art and i can do WHATEVER i WANT!!#anyway goodnight sweet dreams and happy tomorrows~#also if anyone actually reads this far lol#what are your thoughts on wintery requests but asked during july so my slow ass can make them in time for the holidays? hmm?#yes i have christmas in july brain -c- mostly cuz i have hackle in front of a fire place in my fic!#but now im just thinking of that drawing of miss cackle looking out the window and it's snowing TcT and i love her!#okay one more ramble actually then i swear i'm leaving!! ada cackle is my everything#amelia cackle scared me when i was younger lol#but me now i'm like 👀 for strict miss cackle 😏#and miss cackle from books#i dont wanna say until i finish all the books ahahah!! but i adore her she is so CUTE i took pictures!! LMAO!!!#i have A LOT of drawing ideas written down yall!
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its so funny how much i dont bother to include in my stories... easy to forget that theres only one or two people who know that my bucky is always a trans woman and my buck always hears voices
#personal#star trek au exception that proves the bucky rule#buck is pretty neutral on the voices#as a kid they were mostly another kid telling him to come out and play#and he ended up being more of a loner that way because he either then said no too easily to real people or yes too fast to someone who wasn#voice: dont worry about it lets go in the woods#buck: okay yay#eugene sledge is always a man to me btw im not really strict on anyone elses gender tho
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