#YOU CANNOT COME INTO MY HOME AND ASK ME TO CHANGE THE COLOUR OF MY CARPETS

[rainingcatsandjune]

haha heyy its been a while 😭😭 sorry for the lack of activity here,,, school has been kicking my butt + i've gotten SUPER hyperfixated on disco elysium,,,, BUT THE MOMENT I SAW THE ORIGINAL I KNEW I HAD TO DRAW SAM AS THIS RAHSBBFBDN i seriously need to catch up on the recent audios 😭😭😭 ANYWAY enjoy :)

vvvvv ORIGINAL BELOW vvvvv

shhhhghhshhshhsh youre telling me this ISNT sam??? like????

[megs-1800]

can you make one for mason where him and reader have 3 children (8,5,3) and they have been together for 10 years and he cheats one night and she finds out and leaves to go back to america and goes to her childhood best friends house in texas and mason has to come get his family back before a divorce happens

The Affair

Notes: Please keep sending in your requests. I change Texas to Y/H/T (Your Home Town) so it relates to everyone.

Summary: After 10 years you find out Mason has had an affair. After your one year anniversary you decide to confront Mason about it. Will you ever be able to forgive Mason, will he be able to save your family?

Pairings: Mason Mount x Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Swearing

“Thank you for coming” I kiss Lauren on the cheek and give her a small hug. I turn around at the garden which now seems bare and quiet which only hours ago was full of life and people. It was mine and Mason’s 1 year wedding anniversary, we have been engaged for years but after having our 3 children the wedding always got put on hold. We had been together 2 years before we had Imogen it was a massive shock we weren’t even trying, but Mason stepped up and I couldn’t ask to have a baby with anyone more perfect. I cannot believe she is 8 already. We then had Logan 3 years later which he is now 5, its mental how time flies. We had out littlest, Sophia 3 years ago and since we had her I have been full on wedding mode, it was honestly the most magical day surrounded by our friends and family. It was everything I dreamed off and more, it was one of the happiest day of my life.

Here I am a year later, celebrating our one year anniversary and everything has changed. Mason started to become distant 6 months ago which was weird and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Then one night I noticed it, I was doing the washing and there it was foundation on his white shirt, I wouldn’t usually think anything of it but I am pale skinned and this foundation was more tanned so it wasn’t mine. I wanted to confront him about it but I know he would lie and make me think I am going crazy so I needed more proof. A couple of weeks later, I went through his pockets and found a receipt for a restaurant which I knew me and him defiantly haven’t been and when I check the date and time of the receipt he told me he had a team training thing that day why would he lie unless he had something to hide? One day I logged onto his laptop and went through his emails and I found a receipt for a 2 night stay in Venice he told me he had an event that he had to stay down for again I didn’t think much of it on its own as I had the 3 children I couldn’t travel, but thinking about all those events together started to make sense.

It made me feel sick, I haven’t had a chance to confront Mason about it since then. Today has been the longest Mason and I have been in the same room in ages. Mason was acted all loving, always complementing me, been really touchy which he hasn’t been in months obviously putting on a show for our friends and family. Everytime I looked at him I feel sick in my stomach knowing that I know what he has been upto behind my back.

Now all our guests have started to filter out and its only a couple of our friends, and Mason’s family left. I am now tidying up in the garden when Mason walks out, I feel a bit tipsy from the amount of alcohol consumed so I can feel my confidence building. Mason slides the patio door open as he joins me in the garden, we are now alone which feels like the first time in ages. Debbie and Tony are inside chasing after the kids. Mason hands me another glass of wine “Thanks” I reply taking another sip and letting the liquid courage run down my throat.

“Who is she?” I ask

“What are you talking about?” Mason looks confused at me which winds me up.

“Please at least give me the respect of answering honestly. After 10 years Mason the least I deserve is the truth about the girl you are fucking”. I see the colour drain from Mason’s face of the idea of being caught.

“W-What are you talking about?” I hear him stutter

“Come on Mason I am not stupid. Tell me about that slag you are fucking?!” I start to raise my voice in anger.

“Shhh will you keep your voice down?” Mason demands staring in the patio door making sure his parents didn’t hear me and pulls the door shut a little.

“Why are you scared that mummy and daddy are going to hear about how their perfect little boy isn’t so perfect”.

Mason starts to walk closer to close the gap between us. “Y/N I can explain okay its not what you think”. I back away to create the gap between us again.

“I want a divorce”I spat out to Mason.

“Come on baby please let me explain” Mason pleads when Debbie comes outside holding our youngest Sophia in her arms screaming away.

“I think someone is tired” Debbie states and looking at Sophia I can tell she is overtired right now after the events of today. “Come here baby girl” I open my arms for Debbie to pass her over “I will get you bathed and ready for bed. I will be back down soon” I turn to Debbie which she nods. I do not look back at Mason as I continue up the stairs.

I get all the children ready for bed one by one, it takes me a good couple of hours to get them all bathed and settled. By the time I am finished the rest of our guests are gone and its only Debbie and Tony left who are now saying their goodbyes. I thank them for coming and watch as they drive out the driveway. I start tidying up the house trying to ignore Mason’s stares, everytime he walks into a room I walk into another. I know its childish but I don’t want to hear his bullshit excuses I am totally broken.

“Will you just talk to me!” Mason shouts from across the room

“We have nothing to talk about Mason. 10 years I have given you, 10 fucking years and 3 beautiful children now you have just thrown it all away. I don’t want to talk Mason I want a divorce!” I shout from across the room back at him.

Mason crossed over the room and grabbed my arm, with this he pulled me closer into him so our faces are inches away from eachother. “Please let me explain y/n please. I cannot loose you. Please for the kids hear me out”.

I look him up and down in disgust. I can feel the anger radiating out of me. Not saying anything I took a seat at the dining room table. Mason took that as a sign to join me, he sat in the chair next to me, he tried to grab my hand but I kept pulling away.

“I’m sorry” he begins

“That’s all you have to say is sorry!” I shout

“Will you stop fucking shouting, you will wake up the kids” I roll my eyes but let him continue.

“It was only a couple of times”

“Oh wow ONLY a couple of times how lucky am I?!” I scoff sarcastically which makes Mason roll his eyes “who is she?” I ask starting to calm down.

“She is a physiotherapist for United. She has been helping me with my recovery, it was nice to just relax around someone who understood my recovery-“

“Oh right so its my fault you had an affair because I am not trained in understanding your recovery okay right got it”.  I snap

“Please just stop and let me explain” I nod and let Mason continue. “You know I haven’t been in a great place recently with the injury. It was nothing you have done before you snap okay. It was just that me and Charlotte were close and one thing left to another, it was nice to just come away from reality for a little while okay. Its done I realised that I only want you and our family. I promise I felt like shit, I promise it didn’t mean anything. But I called it with her a couple of weeks ago I realised that I wanted you and our family only”. I watch as a tear escapes Mason’s eyes which mine are tearing in response.

“That’s a really convincing story it really is Mason. The thing is I checked your phone, you didn’t call it she did. She wanted to stop because of her boyfriend not the other way round so you came running back to me and our family because she ended it. So what am I? Just something to fill the gap until something better comes along?” I can feel the weight of my tears slipping down my cheeks. He reaches across and wipes the tears from my cheek from his thumb, I am now starting to hyperventilate as I try and control my breathing.

“I-I’m sorry” Mason struggles to get out “I fucked up, I made a mistake and I am so fucking sorry baby. I love you more than anything. My head has been fucked due to the injury and the recovery I have been all over the place. Please understand baby, I love you”.

“That used to be true Mason, but if you loved me, loved your family. You wouldn’t of destroyed us like that. I want a divorce Mason end of”.

With that I stand up from my chair, legs still wobblily and made my way upstairs. Not even looking back at Mason. We are done, just like that. After 10 years, we are over.

Mason’s POV

My hands are shaking as I open the envelope, I know what it contained but I just prayed that it wasn’t true. As I read the papers my worst fears came to life divorce papers. I can feel the tear escape my eye at the thought of how much I have messed up.

“Are you alright mate?” Lewis patted me on the shoulder as he walked into the kitchen.

“Yeah sure” I lie

“Mase whats on them papers whats wrong?” I pass Lewis the papers so he can read them, he inspects the forms and gives me a sympathetic look. “So that’s what has been up with you?” Lewis embraces me in a hug as I let the tears fall onto his shirt.

“Have you spoken to her since she left?” I shake my head.

“The last time I spoke to her was 4 months ago after our anniversary party when she found out about everything that happened. She went to stay with her sister for a couple of days and then she messaged me saying she was taking the kids to her friends in (Y/H/T). I cannot bare the children being that far away. I really miss y/n too Lewis. I just don’t know what to do”.

“Mum is fuming by the way” Lewis states taking a seat on the stool in the kitchen.

“I know. She rang me. She messaged y/n a couple of months ago asking what had happened as I didn’t want to tell her and she told her everything. Mum rang me kicking off. She was saying everything I already knew, I fucked up, I lost my family, the love of my life. I just don’t know what to do Lew.”

“Go fight for her. You are standing in your kitchen holding the divorce papers feeling sorry for yourself. Go to (Y/H/T) and fight for her, fight for your family. You fucked up but y/n is the best thing that ever happened to you so you cannot let her go. If you get her go that easily you just showed you never care and she deserves better then that.”

“I know Lew I just don’t know what to say”

“Just talk from the heart Mase. Even if she doesn’t take you back at least you can say you did everything.”

Reader’s POV

I am just finishing cleaning the flat I am so grateful Layla has let me stay with her, she has a 3 bedroom apartment, Imogen and Hunter are sharing a room and me and Sophia are sharing. Its not ideal but I am grateful for Layla to take us in until we can get our own place.

I have been applying for jobs to get back out there as I am now not being supported by Mason. He kept messaging me saying he would send me money, I agreed that he can pay for the children but I said I don’t want a penny of his money, I want nothing to do with him.

The children are off school at the moment until I can figure out what I am doing to do about school placement for them. Due to it being a nice day Layla agreed to take the children to the water park for the day so I can do some admin bits. I decided to blitz her flat as well whilst I am doing my bits when I hear the buzzer go to her flat. Her buzzer is broken so I cannot hear who is downstairs, I buzz them in thinking it will probably just be a deliveryman at this time.

I hear the knock at her door, when I look through the peephole I see him standing there. He looks amazing, my heart skips a beat and I suddenly feel sick. I haven’t seen him in 4 months, and I really not prepared for this. I opened the door cautiously and Masons face lights up as soon as our eyes meet.

“Hey” he says softly

“Hey” I reply. “Did you wanna come in?” I offer as he has travelled a long way. Mason nods and I lead him through the living room. We both take a seat on the sofa.

“Where are the kids?” he asks

“Layla took them to the water park as the weather is nice. They will probably be back soon though if you want to see them I can ring Layla and ask her to bring them back now?” Mason shakes his head and places a hand on my thigh.

“That’s okay I actually came to talk to you”. I take a deep breath knowing what is now going to come.

“There is nothing to talk about Mason. I am guessing you got the divorce papers” which he nods in agreement. “Exactly Mase I think that speaks for itself, I don’t want to be with a cheater. I deserve better than that. My children deserve better then that”.

“Please just come home and we can talk about this. Just give me a chance to make everything okay. Please baby please just give me a chance, I cannot loose you. You and those kids are my world. Please”.

“I-I can’t Mason, I loved you more than anything in the world. You broke this family Mason, the second you started to have an affair behind my back. You decided this, no one else. So please just leave I have nothing to say to you. Actually I do.. please sign those papers”.  I watch as Mason’s expression drops, I know this wasn’t the outcome he expected.

“P-Please y/n/n, everything we have been through this past 10 years. Our 3 incredible children please think about that.”

“I am thinking about that Mason, after all we have been through together you decided to throw it all away over some stupid bitch. You should know better Mason, I thought you were better than all those other footballers, you just proved to me you weren’t.”

“I promise you y/n, I will be better for us, for our family please. Just give me a chance. I was in a bad place, I wasn’t myself. You are the only girl I have ever wanted and will ever want. Please just give me a chance to make it all alright please. I want us to be a family, I promise nothing like this will ever happen again. I love you more than anything in this world”.

“I wish that was true Mason but if that was you wouldn’t of destroyed our whole entire family for a couple of months of fun. Now please leave”. My tears are now staining my cheek as I stand up to walk Mason out, Mason knows he lost the fight so he slowly walks out the door.

“I’m s-sorry” he choaks out as I close the door. I feel myself drop down against the door and let the tears fall as I feel my heart break all over again.

Masons POV

Its been 2 weeks since I went to (Y/H/T) to try and save my marriage but it didn’t end the way I hoped. You still get the kids to facetime me so I am not missing out on too much but I am still so broken. I cannot believe I ruined our relationship, I broke my family. I still message everyday hoping that one message might save our marriage but it hasn’t. I signed the divorce papers as I know that’s what you wanted, it broke me to do it though, there is a delay on your side but they won’t tell me what it is. I would give anything to make everything okay.

Today was no different, I finally got myself out of bed and ready for training. That’s all I do nowadays is training or games, apart from that I am home wallowing in my self-pity. I have put my all into training which is good to take my mind of everything at the moment.

Something felt different as I pulled into the driveway, I slowly walk through the door which I am greeted to a sudden squeak of voices “dadddddyyyyy!” as my babies run into my arms. I hold them close not knowing if this is real. As I put the children down I see you standing at the bottom of the staircase, you look amazing. “What-What are you guys doing here?” I ask still in complete shock.

“Last time I checked this is still our home” You state, I cannot tell if you are being sharp or trying to lighten the mood.

“Kids can you go play in the play room for me, mummy and daddy need to catch up on a couple of things, then you can all tell him about your trip okay”.

“Okayyyyy” they all say in unity as they run to the play room.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” I ask

“Its okay I already got one, we kind of made ourselves at home” you giggle as we walk through to the lounge.

“Well this is still your home y/n, this will always be your home” I place my hand on your thigh hoping to get some connection with you. I am trying not to do too much as I don’t want to scare you away.

“That’s what I want to talk to you about” you let our a big sigh and I can feel my heart suddenly drop. It seems like we sat just starting at eachother for ages. “Promise me you are done with her, with that lifestyle”. I wrap both hands on either side of your face and slowly rub your cheek.

“Baby I am done, I have been done way before you found out. It was stupid and- and it made me realise all I want is you and our beautiful family.” You slowly nod and I can feel you learn in towards my hand.

“Okay I wanna fight for this. That’s why I didn’t sign the papers. I- I want us to try. I am not saying its going to be perfect as there is massive trust issues now but we owe those children a family, so for them I want to try. Obviously if you are willing to try”.

I launch myself across the sofa, this is all I have been hoping for since you left. I place a slow cautious kiss to your lips, when I feel you reciprocate I relax into the kiss. “Fuck I love you” I state.

You pull away and continue to hold your hands in mine “just promise me if you feel like there is issues we will talk about it. Please don’t break my heart again. I want this to work Mason but I am not saying its going to be easy, its going to be a lot of work.”

“Honestly y/n whatever you want you name it. I will do anything to keep us as a family. I promise, you and me against the world”. I cannot stop beaming, my smile is cheek to cheek.

You stand up in front of me and I embrace you for a couple of minutes, we haven’t been this close in what feels like forever. When you pull away I can see the small tears escaping your eyes. You quickly wipe them away, “come on Mase, Logan wants to show you his new football trick he learnt. You got a lot of catching up to do”.

“I will be there in a minute” I reply letting you walk into the play room to join the kids. I stand there for a minute just taking in the moment. Our marriage is saved, our family is saved. Everything is going to be okay.

[theguildawards]

Term 2 2024 Winners!

Thank you to everyone who participated in the second term 2024 hosted by The Guild Awards! The mod-team is excited to see so much amazing fanwork and their creators recognized, as well as the love shown for this fandom!

Without further delay, here we are!

Winners of The Guild Awards for Term 2 2024

Best Action/Adventure Fiction: "Flame's Desire" by @kiliinstinct / rougescribe (AO3) Best Alternate Universe/Reality Fiction: "More than just a Fairy Tail" by @chaotickori Best Canon Fiction: "So This Is What Home Feels Like" by @spot-of-tea / spot_of_tea (AO3) Best Angst Fiction: "Redemption" by @spot-of-tea / spot_of_tea (AO3) Best Dark Fiction: "The Last of Us" by @classysassy9791 Best Drama Fiction (tie): "Accepting Fate" by Perfect Memories (FFN) and "World's End: Aftermath" by CairnCircles (AO3) Best Humor/Parody Fiction: "Magic Council Complaint Form #1024: there are mages hiding in the trash cans" by Fireflower34 (AO3) Best Oneshot: "is/was/will be" by Fireflower34 (AO3) Best Character Portrayal: "Silence" (Gajeel) by @firapolemos05 Best Romance Fiction: "Accepting Fate" by Perfect Memories (FFN) Best LGBTQ+ Romance Fiction: "Between Moon and Venus" by Woethe (AO3) Best Serial Fiction: "Taming The Beast" by @dawnwynters Best Ficlet: "Fairy Tail Platonic Week 2024 -Chapter 2: I Missed Our Shenanigans" by @fairytail-multishipper /Luminousrain (AO3) Best NSFW Fiction: “Love Rehabilitation” by annequinox (AO3) Best Completed Fiction: "Finding Forgiveness" by @teleiapotami / Teleia_Potami (AO3) Best Action/Adventure Artwork: "Team Natsu" by @astral-fairyy Best Alternate Universe/Reality Artwork: "the haters can't stop me" by @captainuranium543 Best Canon Artwork: "Red, The Colour of Life" by @pencilofawesomeness Best Angst Artwork: “Happy Rogue Day🖤🐸” by @oryu404 Best Dark Artwork: ""Acnologia Eats Irene" by @love---mandy Best Humor/Parody Artwork: "Pay back" by @shiiro-arts Best Kiss Artwork: "untitled" by @lidiscr Best Romance Artwork: "a soft Lokana" by @artsophiehml Best LGBTQ+ Romance Artwork: "causing problems and sucking face" by @phoenix-before-the-flame Best Character Artwork: "My first fashion icon was Lucy" by @hyun-illus Best Duo/Pairing Artwork: "Leave this to us" by @celestialrayna Best Group Depiction Artwork: "Team Natsu" by @ars-de-elysium Best Manga Coloring: "Fairy Tail/Lolu Coloring" by @almaween Best Redraw Artwork: "erza redraw" by @raptortier Best Overall Artwork: "Art Contest" by @pencilequipped

Congratulations to all the winners! Your awards will be ready soon! Please send one of the mods or our ask box your preferred email address so we can send them to you!

And thank you to those who voted for the Roulette Category for next term! The Roulette fanfiction category for next term will be: Best Mystery Fiction. This will be defined as: A story that has a character holding a profound secret or something kept cautiously concealed. May tend to excite curiosity or wonder in the reader, or may include something that cannot be explained.

As this term comes to a close, The Guild Awards will be taking a short hiatus. This time is always spent reviewing the process and seeing what can be revamped for the next term. We also love hearing from the fandom (ie: YOU!) for suggestions regarding any changes or additions.

We will officially be back in full swing on March 1st! We will still be around in case you have questions or concerns, but please take this time to read new fanfiction and find new fanart.

Want to stay immersed in all things Fairy Tail? Join our Discord! It's open to everyone!

You can also keep up-to-date with all current fandom events by checking out the @ftguildevents page!

As the day gets closer to the start of the next term, we will be keeping everyone in the loop when it comes to changes and updates. We hope everyone has a lovely holiday season! Thank you again for making this such a fun experience! See you soon!

~ The Guild Awards

[221beloved]

Acorn, Chestnut, Pine Cone

(Link to ao3)

“John?”

John turned his eyes away from the trees, which were slowly changing their colour at this time of year, to look at Sherlock, walking next to him. “Yes, love?”

“They are eating gingerbread.”

“What?” John didn’t see anyone eating gingerbread, nor did he understand what Sherlock wanted to tell him with that observation.

“There!” Sherlock nodded to their left, and indeed, there was a couple sitting on a bench, happily munching, an open packet of gingerbread standing next to them.

John frowned. “Okay. And… what now?”

Sherlock turned to stare at him, his eyes wide, his expression almost shocked.

“John!” he called out in disbelief. “They, are eating, gingerbread!”

“Yes…?” John really didn’t get the point. “We’ve established that. What now?”

“It’s warm enough for them to sit on a bench in the park, yet they are eating gingerbread, John! Christmas is two months away!”

John blinked at the man, a little surprised at Sherlock’s outburst, then broke into giggles and nudged Sherlock’s hip.

“Wow, I knew that you pretend you don’t like Christmas, but that you’re so sensitive to people eating food that’s associated with the season, wow…”

Sherlock huffed next to him. “I do not pretend not to like it. I don’t have to.”

John tilted his head. “You seem contend enough when we’re decorating and having a nice time.”

“Well, you do like Christmas, for some reason that I cannot fathom, and since I like you there is some kind of… acceptance towards it.”

John grinned. “Hm, yes. Acceptance.”

“But only when it’s spend with you,” Sherlock added. “Only you. Well okay, Mrs. Hudson can come up as well if she needs to, but more I just can’t withstand!”

“Hm, I think your mother usually starts calling you in early October to ask you to attend Christmas dinner, right? Shouldn’t be long until her first call.”

“Don’t remind me,” Sherlock grumbled in remembrance of the yearly tradition of her asking and him refusing until the last possible moment.

“You know, it would be much easier if you’d just tell her, yes mummy, I will attend Christmas dinner, thank you for the invitation, yes I will bring John, yes, no gifts this year.”

“It would be much easier if she wouldn’t call me two times a week for almost two months to pester me about the same thing.”

“But would you come then?”

Sherlock decidedly didn’t answer that question, instead he kicked a chestnut that had the audacity to lay on the way.

“Oi!” John blurted. “Don’t you dare treat chestnuts like that.”

Sherlock looked up at him in confusion. “What?”

“We used to build little figurines out of them.”

Sherlock only blinked at him. “What?” he repeated dumbly.

“Didn’t you? In primary school? They’d give you chestnuts, sometimes acorns, some toothpicks, and then you could build little chestnut men. I’ll show you a picture when we’re home.”

“That’s…” Sherlock lifted his brows almost appreciatively and nodded. “That’s surprisingly ridiculous. Bordering on hideous, even for primary school.”

John chuckled. “No! It was a very serious matter for us. Once one of us had found the first chestnut of the year we’d look forward to the day our teacher would come to class with a bag of them.”

Sherlock eyed him with a strange look, shaking his head. “I can’t believe that I’m sharing a flat with you, let alone my bed.”

John’s grin turned to a soft smile. “It’s because you love me, you nutter.”

“Yes. Yes I do. And I’ll never stop. Well, as long as you don’t start building those chestnut things again.”

They stared at each other for a moment, then both doubled over with laughter.

The rest of the way home was without any more disturbances, chestnuts and Christmas forgotten for the moment.

--

Please tell me if you want to be added or removed from the list

@flufftober @meetinginsamarra @a-victorian-girl @lisbeth-kk @topsyturvy-turtely

@keirgreeneyes @the-reading-lemon @totallysilvergirl @helloliriels @221bug

[asacredthebread]

Your Majesty

King!Jake x Servant!Reader

Angst

The large room had become filled with a draft, chilling you down to the bones as you pushed your clothes into a chest, turning towards the window for a moment.

The sun had begun to set, illuminating the valley in an array of pinks and oranges, a kaleidoscope of colours that you had always admired. You’d miss this view, but you’d miss him more.

“I’m almost finished, Mother, just a few more things to go” you spoke, before turning away from the view that so desperately tried to hold your gaze.

You were surprised to see him this late. In fact, you were surprised to see him at all, considering the past few days that had been had.

“Your Majesty” you spoke, keeping your voice low, your eyes focused on the floor.

Lifting your head ever so slightly, you could see his eyebrows raising into a look of confusion.

“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to call you now?” you replied, before kneeling back down in front of the chest, gently placing your cloth-wrapped trinkets into it, laying them out carefully.

“You can call me by my name, like you’ve always done” he replied, “Nothing has changed.”

You couldn’t help but scoff at him, before pulling yourself together.

“Don’t you see?” you continued, pulling the lid of the chest closed. “Everything has changed. Your position has changed, your family has changed, your life has changed. And it seems that I no longer have a place in it.”

He was silent, simply watching you move as you spoke.

“You promised me that when the time came, that I would be the one that came with you. That you’d stand on your balcony and announce it to the people, that it was me, that I was the one that you wanted.”

You couldn’t help but to turn from him, unable to continue watching him feign confusion.

“Yet here we are. I have to leave, and you have to ascend. How is any of this fair? How could we have spent so many years chasing this dream, only for you to throw it away? It’s your kingdom now. Who cares about the silly rules and regulations, who cares what the people would think? You are their king, you are their ruler. You make the rules. And you didn’t even try.”

He took a quiet step forward, opening his mouth to speak. “I di-“

“No, you didn’t. If you had, we wouldn’t be standing here, I wouldn’t be packing everything that I’ve ever owned into a box, and I wouldn’t be having to say goodbye.

Maybe I was foolish for thinking that it would work, maybe I was ignorant to the truth. But i trusted you. I trusted you to keep your word.”

You stood, then, making your way back to the window. You rested your hands on the ledge, your fingers intertwining with each other. Despite feeling the sting of tears threatening in the corners of your eyes, you pressed on.

“You gave me a lifetime of memories that I refuse to forget. You cannot take those away from me - they are mine to keep. Endless nights sat right here in this room, your voice ringing in my ears, promising me that everything will be okay, that once you were king, we could finally be together.

You gave me more than I could have ever asked for. You gave me your love, but you kept your heart.”

You could feel him stood directly behind you, his arms finally slipping around your waist, before turning you to face him.

Once the words had began, you found yourself unable to stop, every thought that you had spilling out of you like the chalice of the king.

“My heart does not come with me tomorrow. My heart will not sail over the waters and bear the storms in the ways that I will have to. My heart will not know the struggles that are to come. My heart will stay here. And whether you like it or not, it will always belong to you, it will always be yours. You can say whatever you’d like, be it that you’ve chosen her, or that she was chosen for you - but what I know is that my heart will never belong to anyone else.

My heart will stay here while I rot and wither away from the inside out, knowing that I cannot come home, that there is no home for me here, not anymore. “

He lifted your chin slightly, his index finger and thumb resting so gently on your skin. “I don’t want you to leave.” His voice was gentle, but commanding - as if he had already grown into his role as King.

“Your words mean nothing to me now. My ticket has been bought, and my lodgings secured. Don’t you dare forget that it was your idea for me to leave, that it would be easier for her to not have to see me around. Don’t think that I will ever forget the way that you looked at me, like I was nothing but dirt on the bottom of your boot, like i was something that could just be scraped off and discarded. It’s not that easy, Jacob, you know that it isn’t.”

His eyebrows furrowed once more as you spoke, before leaning down, his lips gently pressing over yours.

It was then that your decision had been made, pulling yourself away from his grasp, and leaning down to grab the chest into your arms.

“Let me hel-“ he began, before you turned, the tears finally flowing down your cheeks, leaving marks along the front of your clothes.

“I don’t need your help. I don’t need anything from you anymore.”

You were quick to leave the room, not daring to look back at him. What was done was done, and you were left only to fear for the future.

[dufferpuffer]

Ok, you win... not because I agree with what you say, but just because you once again managed to circle the discussion back to how dangerous and irresponsible Remus is, how he's a ticking time bomb and Severus's only hope is to set a bunch of 13 years old kids to kill him... I have lost the energy to debate. You seem to have an obsession with dehumanising and debasing Lupin's character and intentions that I simply cannot keep up with. The conversation about the appropriate responsibilities of a substitute teacher took a confusing turn. Terrorising your students can be considered good teaching as long as their grades are high. Way to foster interest and curiosity in young minds! He shows favouritism towards Slytherin (especially Draco) when he turns a blind eye to Slytherin students provoking their Gryffindor peers, but punishes Gryffindor students for fighting back with point deductions and verbal abuse. I'll give this to you: Snape can never be accused of giving more points to Slytherin as he has never given anyone any points.

I'm gonna do my typical response bullshittery underneath but I wanna say something really important to me first, even if I'm misreading tone and it doesn't apply here:

I honestly don't see this sort of thing as a win-lose sort of activity, more of a back and forth tug-of-war discussion game. I'm not trying to win, I'm trying to yap - to put thoughts and feelings into words and analyze what I think and why. Because that's fun. I'm sorry you've lost energy for it, if that's a bad thing - and not just a neutral 'gonna go play with other toys' sort of thing.

If it isn't too presumptuous of me to give advice (it is, ik it is): If you're walking up a hill into someones room (or their ask box) with the mindset of 'winning' being to change their mind... you're setting yourself up for loss. It's harder 'attacking' than it is 'defending', though I really hate to use those terms for talking about HP on Tumblr.

By that framework - I've 'lost' too. You've come onto my home turf and I haven't changed your mind.

Of course you'd be frustrated that I don't see things the same way as you when you've put good effort into presenting interesting points, I probably seem like a brick wall - but you haven't lost and I don't think of you as losing. I enjoy talking with you, Anon, and im glad you've climbed my hill to chat with me, even if it's ended up being tiring.

I really wanted to make that clear. As much as I like discussions and even getting a little heated or catty over things, I would hate to leave people feeling bad about engaging with shit we both love. I like when the internet is a passionate, happy place. If I've dampened that passion or happiness... that isn't who I want to be. I'm scared of that being my impact on people. I hope I haven't, and I am sorry if I have. That thought makes me feel sad.

I suppose I have circled around to Remus being irresponsible beyond that of the classroom - because it's difficult for me to separate it.

In a normal, non-magical, non-HP school situation: Would Severus have been a bad substitute teacher and Remus completely fair? Yeah, sure. But the situation is so far removed from that. The stakes are so ridiculously high - both in reality and in Severus' mistaken, deluded perception - that pushing it into that little bubble seems pointless.

Everything Severus did was coloured by his fear of Remus' 'plot'. Everything Remus did was coloured by his desire to stay hidden. How could I separate their actions from their motives...?

Severus thinks Remus is going to come in with a chainsaw on a murder-spree one day. That Remus is biding his time, gaining trust, pied-pipering kids into his office, making a show of crushing any respect for what Severus has to say...

Remus teaches a Defend-Against-Murderers class. How ironic. Hands tied behind his back and his collar chained firmly to the ground by Dumbledore - Severus marches in and says "Can anyone tell me how a chainsaw works? No? Of course fucking not - RIGHT: 10 million word essay on Chainsaw Murderers."

I just can't treat that as unreasonable...? To treat all that as a simple discussion of teaching tactics... It seems like twisting the complexity of it to make Severus look bad, rather than taking the context of the situation into account.

Severus teaching 13yr olds how to kill Remus:

He isn't. He wants to keep the students out of harm’s way. Protecting them is the core of everything he ever does.

He isn’t training kids to become werewolf hunters, or teaching them to identify someone with Lycanthropy among healthy people - because you can't. He's teaching is how to differentiate a dangerous magical creature like a transformed werewolf, something ranked as dangerous and untameable as Dragons and Acromantulas, from a regular wolf.

He wasn't saying "And how many days would it take for a person with Lycanthropy to recover from their full moon?" or ANYTHING that'd directly clue kids into thinking about people with Lycanthropy. (Though I'm sure he hoped it'd happen - and got his wish.) He only talks about the wolves. The dangerous form.

That isn't training kids to kill Remus for him. And if Severus really wanted to kill Remus, he could have done so in the shack when he believed Remus purposefully didn't take his potion and was about to tear Harry, Ron, and Hermione apart.

Terrorising your students can be considered good teaching as long as their grades are high. Way to foster interest and curiosity in young minds!

The point is that he doesn't do that nearly as much as he seems. The whole point of the narrative is that Harry see's all the bad shit he does - which is bad, of course it is - and ignores everything else.

The evidence being that few others particularly dislike him. Neville gets over him. Hermione defends him. Other students show mild annoyance with him at most because he is strict and an ass - but also say they enjoy his classes, and they do well in them.

They do so well that despite being an ass that holds nobody's hand he has an insane success rate - and willingly populated classes. Would he be a better teacher if he was more like Lupin and could change his teaching style to support those who are struggling? Of course he would be. I'd say Remus is a better teacher.

But Severus isn't a bad teacher.

He says mean shit - but its no meaner than McGonagall, nor is he more strict, nor does he show more house bias. The meanest thing anyone said to Hermione was probably Trelawney, whom she couldn't stand. She respects and defends Snape. Hagrid's classes range from dull to painful to endure, he doesn't teach them anything useful, mutters about students under his breath and is mainly teaching them how to torture animals to death.

None of that excuses Snape's bad behaviour - but it shows what students are used to. Severus is not a stand-out case. Harry just obsesses over him. We don't see everything Snape does, only what Harry notices - evidenced by the fact Severus has populated classes with students who choose to attend them.

It's not that terrorizing his students is 'good teaching'. It's that he is a good teacher regardless of that. He doesn't terrorize students - he terrorizes Harry, and has no patience for Hermione and Neville because they piss him off.

dehumanising and debasing Lupin's character

I'm not sure when I've ever done this, or how I managed it.

Remus Lupin is a complex guy, ruled by anxiety and self-loathing. He constantly battles guilt, overjustifying his actions to ease his cognitive dissonance. Despite this he has a habit of making rash, risky decisions - especially when it comes to affection and acceptance, which he shames himself for craving.

He bundles all his flaws in his fur coat, because thinking himself unworthy and unfixable is easier than learning to be a better man. His 'kin' are the werewolves far away from society, and it is cute that Harry has any faith in him - that's how he feels about himself.

He didn't want to be a teacher, didn't think himself worthy - but was talked into it with the promise of being able to try Wolfsbane. Wolfsbane wasn't what he hoped it'd be. He longed for the days where he could place his full moons into other peoples hands. When he felt less like something dangerous that had to be chained down. The best days of his life: having people fighting for his sake.

That's how he lives his life at Hogwarts: He tries to be the height of cool again. A fun teacher everyone likes, who gives easy work and marks leniently, who prioritizes fun over making sure all his students learn everything well. The opposite of Snape, who doesn't give a shit how his students are feeling as long as they are learning how to brew potions perfectly. You don't want a toad poisoned - or a werewolf poorly sedated.

Remus goes out of his way to peck Snape because he knows Snape can't bite back while on Albus' leash. He pushes himself up by pushing Severus down. Cheeky insults, feigned innocence, smug lies - allowing him to be humiliated. He leans on having others look after him every Full Moon, enjoying feeling normal and accepted. He turns away from his responsibility over not only his own condition but Sirius Black's behavior - fearing losing his happy place in Hogwarts and the affection he craves.

All of it - just like when they were kids. Remus hasn't changed. He knows he hasn't changed, and is disgusted with himself for it.

Like every other DADA teacher except Severus (who on a first read seems to follow the pattern but doesn't, that's the twist) Remus had selfish ulterior motives that didn't align with the children's best interests.

Is that a dehumanising, debasing read of his character...? I don't think it is. I think it is very human - and also very delicious, and also I very love him

[mellowwhumps]

oc introductions!

heyo! now that i’m finally done with june of doom (which was meant to serve as a basic version of this) here’s all my oc introductions! i cannot for the life of me make it sound interesting but hopefully my future content compensates for that…roles are listed from least to most, but may deviate at times since i love role swap!

i’ll make picrews or coloured references like literally any normal creator. someday. soon. (lies)

side note: their personalities do change a lot between AUs since yknow. choices influence actions so yeah!! same yet different love that…as another side not everything i tag as simply “AU'' is just the main one i usually use since that’s the most developed

i really recommend checking their toyhouses since it goes into a lot more detail :3

haley !! 

toyhouse (both original and AU)

quotelist + more in elowen’s quotelist

roles: whumpee-whumper (ex), caretaker

my scrunkly scrimblo…in a way i’d describe him as half living weapon. why half you may ask? because for the first half of his life he was treated as a human and then abruptly in the second half it just. changed. no more nice words. conflict between his ‘home’ and a neighbouring kingdom peaks, war comes, everything ends, though i mostly don’t focus on the war part haha. this guy knows he’s meant to be wielded and used, but just how much of a weapon is he? 

personality wise, he’s not a talker. despite his generally serious demeanour, he’s a much nicer person to be with than the one who raised him, caring about others because he thinks the world should just be kinder, and maybe if he cares enough he can repent for it all.

for the most part he shifts personalities quite widely between aus…

——————

halcyon !!

toyhouse (unfinished)

roles: whumpee (ex), caretaker

from the aforementioned neighbouring kingdom! she serves the queen as the captain of the royal knights, yknow the drill, there’s war and they started it. she’s the type of person who believes in what’s right but also won’t hesitate to rethink if her beliefs are wrong. her story is mostly about dealing with all the hard stuff like Feelings and the Aftermath because nobody likes doing that ew.

she’s trying her best. i respect this behaviour

——————

elowen !!

toyhouse (AU)

quotelist

roles: caretaker turned (reluctant) whumper mostly but no fixed role

the guy that took haley in yeah. he cares. a lot. but sometimes his job matters more. he’s mostly there to drive the plot and then he literally just. dies. but that’s not the end is it? he lives on in haley’s memories, forever an enigma. their relationship is so complicated i wouldn’t do it justice in a short introduction…he’s alive and well in the AU and very relevant though

yes his intentions are good. yes he’s coping with it in the only way he knows how. he does genuinely care. he unwavers in his belief that he wants to give everyone a better life, wants to help more people than he possibly ever could. unfortunately, every decision has its downsides.

——————

ria !!

toyhouse

roles: whumpee (mostly emotionally i swear)

look. okay. i get to use at least one child for my found family agenda. once again i focus on the aftermath rather than anything else so it's mostly emotional whump

rogue. gremlin. she bites (sometimes) (affectionately) but she’s just dealing with how she simply is. she’s like the glue holding it all together as best as she possibly can, because she can’t even come close to understanding how bad it all was and sometimes that’s just better. can and will go through the five stages of grief before admitting that she cares and actually isn’t as independent as she thinks she is.

——————

ida !!

toyhouse (AU)

tiny quotelist (w. yuuto)

roles: whumpee, caretaker, whumper (rarely written)

right now i only have the AU version of him! his story’s about identity and somewhat also breaking free. oh and also semi-doomed yaoi but that’s not the problem here. he has a prosthetic arm and heart but that is 100% not his entire personality and just a few of the burdens he carries!! personality-wise he Does Not Care about restrictions but is also the furthest thing from impulsive when it’s most needed

i’m on a roll so this guy definitely gets more development in my writing than whatever i say here so!! check him out

——————

ibys !!

toyhouse (AU)

roles: whumpee, caretaker

right now i also only have the AU version of them although that and their current design might change someday…his themes are similar to haley (fate + past vs present) but they could not be more different in story and personality despite both being living weapons!! wanted to try a seperate route with them so this happened. they’re so serious but they’re working on it. so yes, since their story is directly intertwined with ida’s, their themes are similarly also about identity!!

the things i have planned for them are definitely more serious and whumpy than my other ocs (yknow. living weapon typical story) but sometimes that’s required for a good ending!! so bear with me and my little scrunkly scrimblo over here i swear they get nice things too

——————

twelve !!

toyhouse (both original and AU)

quotelist

roles: whumpee

verrill and them are from a completely different universe than above^^ (some of my ocs were previously from their home city though)

honestly their story is just based off one of my favourite dystopian literatures but i change it up a little! sorry their quotelist paints them as such a romantic because i sourced most of them when i was obsessed with their crackship…anyway!! damn this guy (gender neutral) can hold so much trauma with photographic memory that’s literally out for war with them

i think the best way to describe them would be dull exterior colourful interior! they hold so much hope in them…no 1 hurt/comfort extraordinaire

——————

verrill !!

toyhouse

quotelist

roles: whumpee/caretaker, pretty balanced

he's an adult he just has chronic babyface from my artstyle rip

the catalyst and the end of it all…this guy has Problems and refuses to deal with them. first attempt at a morally grey character, i suppose? extremely loyal, extremely caring, but only if it’s in his preference. loves playing hero but hates playing hero. walking contradiction. he cannot be described in a few words. he simply cannot.

——————

roles of other characters that might be mentioned (once again, least to most):

mc/emmei: caretaker

naeri: whumpee (90% emotionally) but really just there to drive the story. may/may not use her

cerilux (previously unnamed character no 2): (whumpee), caretaker

unnamed character: “caretaker”, whumper

more by @/lemlem21 | @/qiuthewhumps, a whole load of other characters in a whole load of roles: yuuto, saora, chelo + more

——————

misc. 

oc asks

BECAUSE I WAS TOO SHY TO ASK PEOPLE TO. ASK. SO I JUST DID NEARLY EVERYTHING (please look at this to find out more i spent so much time on this it’s kinda insane) (still unfinished with spontaneous updates because i do whatever i want)

and of course, promoting my other completely unrelated oc introduction post here

——————

anddd that’s it!! thank you for scrolling!! may or may not be extra ocs or content added later on but for now this is my final cast; feel free to send in whatever, whenever! inbox always open to prompts questions musings anything really 💥 please i get so happy if it wasn’t obvious enough by me maxxing out reblog tag limits for things i love pleasepleasepl

——————

update: you can find my masterpost in the read more under my pinned post^^^

[snapeaddict]

Snapetober Day 4 - Home

Based on this engrossing article I was reading a few days ago whose thesis centers around the idea that the major flaw in Dumbledore's plan was refusing to tell Severus about the Elder Wand, to give him a chance at a future life free from spiritual burden. It's a really emotional read which uncovers many beautiful symbolic parallels - highly recommend it!

August, 1998

“They look better, my boy. I’m sure they will fade eventually.”

Severus did not reply. He wasn’t looking at the portrait, or at anything, really: there was nothing in that damned office he wished to see even a minute longer. Anything related to this place made him feel nauseous. Disgusted.

The painting, above him, cleared his throat.

“And what are you planning to do now, Severus?” The painted Dumbledore peered at him carefully, lowering his head slightly. “You are very young still. You have your whole life in front of you.”

Still, no reply.

“I have made some arrangements”, Albus continued hesitantly, his tone humble. “Funding. For your research.”

“You have what?” Severus snapped.

None of the surrounding portraits uttered the slightest protest at this tone, clearly used to Severus' colourful, and often justified, outbursts: it was a testimony to the long-established, tumultuous relationship between the Slytherin and former headmaster.

“I figured this is what you’d like to do”, Albus replied tentatively. “More experiments - publications. You could stay at Hogwarts, too: take whatever post you’d like. Or simply remain in your quarters, on research leave -”

“I don’t want your money, Dumbledore”, Severus cut acidly.

The man in the portrait clasped his hands compulsively.

He was nervous, it seemed.

A strange development.

“Severus, it was not my intention-”

“Why didn’t you tell me about the Elder Wand, Albus? You could have. It would have made everything easier. Less precarious. It was the flaw in your plan, you knew it - or rather, when your plans went awry, sharing that knowledge would have allowed us to correct them. Why... didn’t you tell me?”

There was a short pause, during which Dumbledore, for a rare few seconds, seemed at a loss for words.

“You were to become its master”, the old man eventually replied, slowly. “I did not wish you to be burdened with this. You deserved a fresh start in life, free from the weight of such a deadly instrument.”

The younger man’s facial muscles contracted. He closed his eyes, and Dumbledore dared not speak again.

“You put everything, everything at risk, so that I could live on without – but I was to live without you, wasn’t I? Having killed you, and lied for you, and given everything to you - but you, you couldn’t put your damn feelings aside, what you ask of others you cannot do yourself – and you expect me to accept this, to take back a job here, to go on? You dare look at me and talk to me about a life – do you know how many died?”

This time, it was he who was looking at the portrait, and the portrait that was looking away.

After all these years, shame had finally changed sides.

“I can never forgive you for this, Dumbledore”, Severus said quietly. “Never”.

A pause.

“I understand.”

Could portraits cry, too?

“I just wanted… I wanted to give you a real home here after everything, Severus", the painting whispered. "A safe home. No charge, no duty - just a home.”

Severus turned on his heel. He couldn't - he just couldn't.

But at the threshold, he stopped, his hand on the door handle. He closed his eyes again, breathing in and then out: something was happening. He welcomed the feeling; he examined it carefully.

Coming from the bottom of his soul, a wave of relief rushed over the farthest corners of his inner self, extinguishing the cold fury that had, a moment before, threatened to burst out with brutish strength. His gaze remained fixated on the handle.

This was the last time, he realised.

The last time.

He looked back.

“This was never my home, Albus. You of all people should know that.”

And he left, and the painted eyes followed his silhouette until it disappeared, they lingered where he had stood. Their bearer, though not quite alive, felt something akin to grief spread in his chest; and he looked and looked and kept looking at the staircase where Severus had gone, muttering to himself quietly, obsessively: can you ever forgive me for loving you so?

-

Minerva watched silently as he came down the staircase, a curtain of black hair hiding his face.

Severus had asked her to wait for him here; to listen to what he had to say.

His gaze met hers. He nodded.

It was rather strange, and he refused to confront the fact as of now, but since the war had ended, he felt… weak. Scared. Fragile.

Lost, too.

He also felt, and that was not a paradox, revengeful. He had not found in him the strength to confront Albus one more time without the knowledge that Minerva was near, for some stupid or cowardly reason - but it had also felt strangely satisfying to know, as he was speaking with the man, that she was there, very near, that she could hear it all.

That there were no more secrets; that Albus was the only one to not know she was here.

She smiled at him encouragingly, but he did not smile back. She climbed a few steps and reached out to him, pressing his hand into hers for a second.

“You did well.”

“I lied to him.”

“It is your right.”

“I mean – I lied to him, when I said Hogwarts is not my home. I think it is. Despite everything.”

Because a home could be unsafe; it could let you down, repeatedly; it could turn against you, watch you lose yourself and drown almost completely, and yet be the only homely place you've ever known.

When fear, threat and loneliness become a habit, they start to bring comfort, too.

Slowly, with movements that could only be described as motherly, Minerva pulled him in a tight embrace. She felt his body relax, and she held him tighter still, vaguely hoping that the longer this lasted, the more relief she could bring him.

“It is time for you to leave home, Severus. It is time for you to breathe.”

[echidna-enquiries]

@tired-old-men Seth: ALRIGHT FUCKERS. PREPARE YOUR ASSES TO GET RATED OR MORE LIKE ROASTED. I must break you all down if you are to be built up again. I will start bottom to top.

"Okay. First of all, I must ask...is it normal for the people in your universe to be just NAKED?! Don't you ever get cold? or uncomfortable? or even get scuffed up at all?! And those gloves... Knuckles, honey, how can you pick up anything with those? Those don't seem at all practical. The shoes are...fine. I don't understand them but MY Knuckles wears the same so I suppose I can't complain too much... 4 out of 10... I can't bring myself to go any lower for some version of my grandson, even if he's not mine "

"Well, you're still without pants, but at least you have something covering your top half. Albeit something UTTERLY plain. Everything about your ensemble is PLAIN! I can feel myself YAWNING the more I look at you! Without the boots and those dysfunctional gloves, I would've thought you stepped out of a shower! Spruce it up a little! 5 out 10"

"...(sigh) Okay, I see that pantlessness is going to be a norm. Lets see what else here. Yet again, a plain and and questionable fit. A tunic? just cause your an older man doesn't mean you need to look ancient! And those IMPRACTICAL GLOVES! Are those ALSO A NORM IN THIS FAMILY!?! Not sure how you can type on that keypad there without your FINGERS! (huffs)... I'm not sure if the monocle is simply for aesthetic or has a function specifically but it at least draws people to your face. That's something... 5 and a half out of 10"

"...Hon... it's giving roadkill. HOW can that be comfortable? That looks so bug infested and scratchy that it makes ME feel like ltching! And those beads... Those shoes, I'd recommend sandals over those if you REALLY want your toes out. Those are gonna slip off SO easily! Eugh, those beads, it looks like you got a bunch of candy on your spines! A kids gonna come and chew on 'em at any second. AND WHAT'S WITH THE MARACAS AROUND YOUR NECK?! 2 outta 10 this fit is a mess. I get wanting to be eccentric but this AIN'T IT"

"Girlie... why the bathrobe and slippers? It's giving GRANDMA not GUARDIAN. Surely as a Guardian, that CANNOT be practical on the job. I can't imagine even ME being able to do my work in a bathrobe. And I can do it in heels! Unless you're working from home, you need a change, sweetie... but other then that. It's fine. 6 out of 10".

"Boy, you better be grateful I don't have any scissors right now BECAUSE I'D BE ON YOUR ASS TRIMMING THAT BIRDS NEST. WHAT IS THAT? IT LITERALLY LOOKS A BUNCH OF WEEDS IN A GARDEN. THIS ENTIRE LOOK JUST... GAG. These colours do NOT go together at ALL! And it hurts my eyes more cause your purple fur could be SO GOOD! And don't even get me started on those SHOULDER PADS- 2 AND HALF OUT OF 10!!"

"Oh CHAOS-talk about leaving NOTHING to the imagination! Somehow this upsets me more than Knuckles! Adding a boring vest doesn't make this an entire outfit, but I think what makes me more mad is. THAT. WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR HEAD. IS THAT YOUR HARDDRIVE? A SCANNER FOR YOUR HEAD? WILL IT BEEP IF I TRY AND SCAN SOMETHING ON IT- (lowkey wanna try that now-) AND HOW IS THAT EVEN STAYING UP THERE?! This whole outfit boggles me and leaves me upset. 2 out of 10"

"Hm... While I'm not sure WHAT you're going for, at least you're sticking to your aesthetic. I dig it. AND your fully clothed. Good. I'm unsure about that helmet but if your not uncomfortable then go for it. Not the most practical but you seem to make it work. 8 outta 10"

"Oh the hat's a nice touch! I always like a nice hat. The green isn't a bad choice colour wise. But the rest of the outfit I feel could be improved... especially the giant T on the top. I can't quite take that seriously, just makes me think of kids in an old sitcom or cartoon. BUT it's not bad. 6 out of 10".

"Ah. I see where the hat came from now... but hat can't save you from that bizarre piece, what even is that? a vest strap on? A harness?? and AGAIN WITH THE INITIAL ON THE CLOTHES?? If you at least wore assless-chaps it wouldn't be such a shocker with your cowboy looking ass. Dear lord. 3 out of 10"

"(Deeeeeeeeep siiiiigh)...I really wanna like this. I really do. I can see you have a specific vibe. I can SEE WHAT YOU WERE GOING FOR but... IT FUMBLED!! HARD!! No wonder you need that stick you fell off hard. You could get such better robes, hon. 5 out of 10"

"Is... is this a joke? You look like you got a piece of cheese SLAPPED onto your forehead. SMACK- looking like a farmer with those denim looking overalls... well almost cause what a surprise. NOTHING ON THOSE LEGS. Bland. Boring. Just a bad fit buddy. 1 out of 10. "

"Annnnd barely any improvement on the next one. Minus the random slice of cheese on the head, just traded that and the denim looking top for a useless belt, boring vest and random little accessory on the spine. I don't even have anything to say about this. There's just NOTHING. 1 out of 10"

(the sound of a facepalm) "Oh Chaos-...I KNOW I SAID BORING WAS BAD BUT THIS ISN'T ANY BETTER!! WHAT-WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? ARE THOSE THE RIGHT PRESCRIPTION!? CAN YOU EVEN SEE HOW YOU LOOK RIGHT NOW?! Theres high fashion and then theres fashion you pull off when your HIGH- YOU SIR ARE THE LATTER! 0 OUT OF 10. I would say i'm sorry... but I'M NOT AT ALL SORRY! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!"

"And back to boring... you are literally just wearing a long V neck and some boots... so many basic bitches in this household my GOD- 1 out of 10".

"...Now. While I'm not entirely sure about the idea of dressing like a tv show character in my day to day... you're at least sticking to it. You're committed to the fit and have the passion behind it, that I can get behind. While I'd rather an INSPIRED fit than just the exact replica as an outfit, this is at least a more interesting yet still not an eyesore to look at compared to the other outfits I've seen so far. 7 out of 10".

"...my sanity at this point is hanging by the thread...THE SAME THREAD I'M ABOUT TO USE ON THOSE DAMN BROWS OF YOURS. You are LITERALLY WEARING NOTHING BUT A BELT, BOOTS AND THOSE GODDAMN GLOVES. AT LEAST KNUCKLES DOESN'T WASTE TIM WITH A USELESS BELT. IT'S NOT EVEN A FASHION STATEMENT. THAT WOULD REQUIRE IT BEING FASHIONABLE. 1 out of 10. The only reason your not a zero is because of the rings... I like some good spine rings but that IS ONLY SAVING YOU BY A ZERO BY AN INCH. PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON".

"Now I was about to say this is basically a repeat of another outfit, version 0.1... but I then noticed YOUR NOT WEARING THOSE GODDAMN GLOVES. Immediately an improvement. Far from perfect but this is still much better than many others... but WHAT is that on your head... that looks like something people use to look at gemstones. Thought you were supposed to be a scientist...".

Seth: Phew... Right? That everyone in that picture? Well. Those are my starter notes. Now, how about I give some suggestions on what you could all wear to-

Fae: SETH! GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK!! IT'S BEEN HOURS!!

Seth: Hold on Fae, I'm not finished!-HEY! DON'T YANK ON THIS JACKET THIS WAS NOT CHEAP! THIS COST MORE THAN YOUR PHONE- STOP IT!!

Fae: GIVE ME MY PHONE! YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH!

Seth: Oh please I've barely scratched the-HEY HEY DON'T SCRATCH THE JACKET- OKAY- OKAY! HERE! I'M SORRY!

Fae: thank you...

Seth: (clears throat)...Well. I best be off now. Tata... Get yourselves some pants though, seriously. Fae: Seth, please... Seth: I'm going- byeeeeeeee~

Fae: (sighs in embarrassment) Sorry, guys...

[hannahssimblr]

Agnieszka is available, actually, likely because our family pays her more than most people pay babysitters. I don’t think they’re being deliberately generous to her or anything, it’s more likely that they don’t really have a concept of how little babysitting teenagers earn. Recently Ivy asked my father what minimum wage was after hearing it discussed on the morning radio and he suggested that it was very little money. Something like thirty euros an hour, probably. 

She arrives in her usual furry coat and uncomfortable looking high heeled boots with the chill from outside clinging to her, and I invite her. I give her the awkward spiel about being allowed to watch any of the channels on TV and take what she likes from the fridge as though I am a fully grown adult, not a school boy two whole years younger than she is and then finally, forty five minutes later than I had planned, I leave the house. 

It’s Jen who answers the door when I knock, and she has an amused look on her face, “I thought you’d chickened out.”

“No,” I shiver as I step into the warmth of the hallway, kicking off my shoes and shrugging out of my coat and bag “It was my mom. She decided she had plans and left it to me to sort out a babysitter at the last minute.”

“Colette had plans?” 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, she doesn’t have any friends, I don’t know what the hell she was doing.”

Jen leads me into the kitchen where she fills a glass of water for me, “Is it a work thing?”

“On Saturday?”

She shrugs, “Maybe she’s having an affair.”

I take the water and chug it, parched after my sprint down the seafront, “Yeah. maybe.”

“Good for her.”

I snort.

“There’s potential in this, I think we could run with this theory.”

“I love how much you love theorising about my parents. But they’re just not interesting enough to do any of the crazy things you like to think they do.”

“So you don’t think your dad is fucking the babysitter?”

I pull a face, “No. Why would she fuck him?”

“Uh! Because he’s a stone cold fox.”

“Ugh.”

“When you remove his odd personality from the equation, like, yeah, he’s objectively hot. Michelle and I had a conversation about this a while ago, and of all the parents we know, your dad is the most physically attractive.”

“God!” I let a full bodied shudder rip through me at the thought of anyone having ogled my father when he ventured downstairs to frown at us when we made too much noise at home.

“Oh don’t be so disgusted, take it as a compliment. You’re all him. You’re just like a mini Christopher.”

I’m aware of this, of course I am, but still, hearing this fact aloud makes me queasy. All I’ve ever wanted for myself was to be so supremely unlike Christopher that similarities were nowhere to be found, for people to say ‘No way. You’re related to that guy?’ But looks, my colouring, my height, my bone structure and that slight romanesque curve of my nose give it all away, these things I cannot easily change. I’ll always be recognisably Dr. Christopher Turner’s son, and every teenager in Clontarf is going to think so when they're lying in his chair watching him tighten their braces.

I shake the thoughts away, “Have you started the movie yet?”

“Started it? We’re like halfway through now.”

“I didn’t expect you to be so punctual.” 

“Half seven means half seven.” She points out, “You snooze, you lose. But still, come into the living room and watch the end of it. You might be lost but that’s not my fault.”

We creep into the darkened room together, where the only light is from the glow of the TV. It’s a particularly quiet scene in the film, and all of the emos snap their necks around to glare at me as I create noises of disturbance with my entrance. 

I whisper that I am sorry and find a place to sit on the floor near that girl with the pink hair. I touch her accidentally with my elbow and she flinches away like I am an escapee of Leper Island so I shift a good metre to the left in case I inflict myself upon her again. 

Wow. I think to myself after five minutes of concentrated silence. They’re really, actually watching the movie. Whenever I hang out with my other friends we just blab our way through it, making stupid jokes and saying ‘that’s you’ whenever someone ugly comes on screen. I don’t know what this movie is but at some point a zombie with bits of rotten flesh hanging off his face claws his way through the earth to stagger toward an oblivious canoodling couple, and I bite my lip to try and stop myself from saying it to Jen. I know it would be so funny but she would be the only one to think so. 

It’s a long film and I never fully understand what is happening, so I’m glad when the credits roll and I can get up to stretch my legs. The lights come on then and I get to see them all in their outfits, and me in the middle of them all in mine: tracksuit bottoms and a football t-shirt. The fact is that when we’re in our uniforms it’s way easier to ignore the contrasting details about us, but now as I look at them and they all stare back at me I wonder if there is true merit to this deep seated feeling I keep getting that I naturally belong in that reeking changing room, discussing the Premier League and the merits of Kid Cudi's Day 'n' Nite music video with the rugby boys instead. 

“Are we out of snacks?” Jen says as she peers into empty bowls dotted around the floor, “Damn, okay, I’ll run down to the shop for more before we start the next film, I suppose.”

“I’ll come too,” Michelle raises herself up from the couch, all legs in her fishnet tights, and then Evan does too, and I know I’ll have to go with them in case the rest of the room starts feasting on my innocent flesh while I’m left alone and vulnerable with them. It works out well this way, because there was something I was planning to talk to Evan about. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[ask-elland-n-will]

OOC Question:

I am sorry, I am sure you already answered that Question, but how did Will and Elland come to life? 💚

How did you come up with their names and personality?

[I'm gonna call this recent series of ooc asks "Lily rambles while on a walk without proofreading anything"!

Cyrus was first, I cannot begin this conversation without bringing him up. I played him in a DnD campaign for about a year. Elland happened a little while later, but was just an NPC, somebody for the game master to bring up to get the plot going. I switched into playing Elland cause I wanted to give another class a go: Cyrus went home to take care of family stuff, and Elland moved into his friendgroup to help prevent the end of the world. Typical DnD stuff.

Elland is supposed to Cy's foil. Their dynamic was great, their differences stood out more when they were paired up. I wanted a really strong bond.

HL came around — and as I was playing Elland in DnD at the time, I used him in HL. When starting a replay of the game, I went with another archetype I always loved, a talkative cute ginger sunshine boy (we know how he mutated since then 🤣). It was a switch from Cyrus into Will, because Cyrus, being an adult in DnD, was, for the lack of the better word, too horny and abrasive. He didn't fit in a school, and at the time the thought of changing him felt like a monumental task.

So I created another foil for Elland. Will now is so far from his original self that I might as well come up with another cute sweet OC. It always happens like that with my characters. When it feels like one has too much of everything, the character branches out into other characters. Will used to be a coward — and don't get me wrong, self preservation is strong in this one but he knows when to pick his fights and is not easily scared when he can explain things logically (pickle was an exception but he got over that fear after a while). But with time Fred took over the coward role.

Lilith was supposed to be sweet — yet now she's unhinged, strong, domineering — those qualities didn't sit right with any other characters.

Elland was supposed to be more like he is in DnD, this figure making tough choices and not being afraid to get his hands dirty to protect family. But it felt wrong for the HL setting, and thus I have Fyodor, who is even more straightforward. Wherr Elland still can tell a white lie — Fyodor is brutally honest, even if it needlessly hurts somebody's feelings.

I'm rambling at this point haha

Names? Elland — I was in a book club at the time, going through The Mistborn series and The City of Brass. There was a character in the first book series, Elend Venture, whom I liked a lot. When I was coming up with names, I wrote "Elland" and only way later realized why it feels so familiar. I got inspired without knowing.

The second book is fantasy set around the world of djinn. That was the inspiration that made Cyrus a genasi, and de Strontiums in general came from the Middle East (still haven't decided if Egypt or Turkey). There were a few centuries of assimilation both in DnD and HL, so Elland and Cyrus are mixed race.

Cyrus is a name of Persian origin with Greek roots. It meant "sun". With how the boy is burning, it was fitting. And in Genshin there is a guy named Cyrus who is the head of the Adventurers guild. So I had a good feeling about the name.

Their last names, too. Strontium is/was added to fireworks to give them red colour. I've mentioned before that their family came from firework making origins. It's a tradition for them, even when they became nobleman. They branched out into firearms eventually, that's how the majority of their family's wealth was accumulated, helping supply the Crown. In DnD — making weapons for the city guards, and a bunch of other experimental projects that had to do with explosives. Cyrus was reeeealy born for this.

William — always loved the name, no other reason. Abbott — I was looking all over the wiki for a family name that would soften their stance on muggles. I don't remember exactly, but later down the line Abbott's married muggles. Even is Sacred families weren't really a think in HL times (I think?) It doesn't make Will any less generationally pureblood.

For personalities - I'll lump Will and Cyrus in the same category. I needed someone fun. Fun, outgoing, energetic, inspired. And to pair them up for a dynamic I liked, I needed someone calm. Supportive, more empathetic, good listener but somebody with a firm hand to direct Will/Cyrus if they get carried away. W/C should hold E in high regard. E is the kind of person to ground them and make them see things they are too blinded to see.

In practice (roleplay) it's a bit harder to do, so don't be surprised if the characters sometimes do things you didn't think they would do. That, and coming from DnD, Elland especially, Tumblr will just never see some of the sides of him I see critical for understanding his character. Now that I made up my mind about my boys' as OCs lore, the dangerous and unforgiving environment that was HL MC lore and DnD lore — it moved aside.

Elland is a Hufflepuff here only because I couldn't decide between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff because I wanted Puff's commonroom. If I made a choose on behalf of the DnD Elland, he is more Ravenclaw than Puff in terms of personality. A lot of it just didn't come to him until he went to magic academy. And again, bringing up harsh MC lore, now I can't really show off how he operates under pressure and how smart and quick-thunking he is, and how passion can cloud his judgement, especially when his loved ones are involved. Dueling might be the only way for that to slip through.]

[adoracora-elizabeth]

War Letters, chapter 12

From this Satuterday I will be on a holiday and uploading will be hard, since I cannot write that much. But I have two more chapters finished already, so here is another one ;)

Beautiful darling Cora, 30 June 1900

This letter is written while I have the biggest smile on my face. What wonderful news you wrote to me in your last letter. I hope you are still doing well and that our little one is growing steadily. How I wish I could be with you and care for you. Are you going on those regular visits to Dr. Clarkson? After what happened with Sybil, I do urge you to take diligent care of yourself. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. It would be my fault.

Your kiss did clear up the last traces of my cold. It lingered quite a long time. Some soldiers even had to be sent home, since their lungs kept them from working. I got lucky that it was only a cold and nothing worse. We will move camp; they want us to go to Mafeking. Colonel Robert Baden-Powell is holding a great defence there. And they want us to join his forces there.

Once we are moved and settled in, I will try and get some leave to come home and see you. It would be convenient when it would fall at the same time as our new addition presents itself. Let us hope it will work out well for us.

Please take loving care of yourself and let Mama not upset you too much. A boy or a girl, for me the only important thing is your health.

Lots of love,

Robert.

Cora's hand rested on her belly. She was well into her fifth month and could hardly believe how fast her belly was growing. Sybil had called her big this morning. Something that had made her smile. The staff and mostly Violet all avoided talking about the baby. As if there was no new life growing inside of her. Robert’s letter gave her hope; he could be here with her before the baby was born. She hoped it would all fall together, and he would be here long enough to see his newborn right away. At the same time, she felt desperate, his troops were moving to another area, a sign that this war was not going to end soon.

"Ahum" Carson scraped his throat. "The car is ready Milady."

Cora looked up at him. "Thank you, Carson."

She had an appointment in Ripon to get herself some new corsets. Rosamund also made an appointment in London, for new dresses. She would have to travel soon, to be there in time. Cora had not told Violet she had to go to London; she was scared of her reaction. And it would be soon enough to hear her rant the moment she had to leave.

It was as if with each day Violet clung more to her former position than before. Cora had not even tried to take over anything, she had decided it would be best to wait with that. Once Robert was back home, they could settle into their new role. For now, she was using the title outside of the house, but she had even asked Carson to still address her as Lady Cora and not Lady Grantham. It seemed as if Violet did appreciate that gesture.

"I did not know you were leaving?" Violet’s voice sneered through the hallway.

Cora turned around. "I have an appointment in Ripon; I will make sure to be back home for tea Mama." She did not wait for her response and quickly walked towards the car.

+++

"We will do our best to make the dresses adjustable."

Cora smiled at the shop assistant. "That is wonderful." The problem is that I am not that far into my pregnancy and the last one, I needed much more fabric around my waist than I was expecting. I am afraid it will be the same this time." She felt her cheeks colour. It was unheard of to talk like this. But she did not know how to make sure the dresses would fit in four months, without talking about her growing belly.

"That red one will be perfect on you. I cannot explain, but it is a colour that belongs on you." Rosamund smiled.

Cora blushed even harder now. "Thank you." She murmured.

"When you ladies are finished!" Rosamund looked at the shop assistants. "We have a reservation at the Ritz and need time to change. When will the dresses be finished?"

"It will be in about a month."

"A month?" Rosamund almost exploded. "You do realise for whom you are making these dresses?"

"We do Milady. However, it is busy during The Season."

"I do not care how busy you are. I made this appointment because you promised the dresses would be ready within two weeks. I am not accepting anything later. You will make it work."

Cora felt herself shrink; Rosamund rarely used this tone and authority. And she was not sure she liked it.

+++

"It looks wonderful Mrs. Patmore. I am sure that the guest will be very satisfied after this dinner."

"I hope so, Milady. It was all very last minute."

"My sincere apologies Mrs. Patmore. But thank you for being this flexible. It was my error, for not telling you this dinner would be held here at Downton. It slipped my mind. When Cora returned from London, Violet greeted her with the news that they would have a small house party this weekend. And it was up to Cora to arrange the rest since she was Lady Grantham now.

"You are forgiven."

"I am not sure you are in the position to ask her Ladyship for an apology." Mrs Hughes suddenly stood next to Cora.

Cora wanted to get up, but Mrs. Hughes urged her to stay seated. "You need to be careful Milady."

Mrs Hughes was a warm and loving woman, and Cora could not have wished for a better housekeeper. Together with Carson, they ran the house with a tight grip. "It was all very last minute what I am asking from Mrs Patmore."

"We will make sure the guest will not know Milady. Can I guide you upstairs, I gather you need to have some rest after travelling back home?"

Cora smiled at her, thankful for her diligent care. "I will indeed go upstairs. Can you ask O'Brien to follow me in a couple of minutes?" She got up and walked towards the stairs. As usual, she lifted her skirt and wanted to step onto the first step, when she suddenly froze, with her hand on her belly. A sharp pain took her by surprise.

"Are you alright, Milady?" Mrs Hughes stood next to her.

"I, I am…. I am not sure." She stuttered.

[mslanna]

Almost Doesn't Count

Chapter 23 of Be My Guest now on AO3

In which Raphael inopportunely fails to use his single brain cell, Tav gets s big dose of Should Have Seen That Coming and MsLanna fucks lore five ways from Friday before running for the hills.

To Tav's surprise, answers to their letters arrive. Gale sends a whole sheaf detailing everything that happens in Waterdeep. Untouched by the destruction that ravaged Baldur's Gate, life there is easy. His tower stands, Tara forgave his long absence. He fills pages with anecdotes about his students. The gifted ones he functions as a warning to. And the less talented ones he guides onwards with unwavering support and patience.

He ends with a flamboyant and heartfelt invitation, promising to host Tav whenever and for however long they want.

Of course Tav accepts. They will visit, as soon as they can, as long as they want and see his new life, watch him teach and wield magic. All places are equally far from home if you can use a portal to get there.

Astarion wrote less excessive about what went on in Baldur's Gate. He still looks for a way to walk under the sun again and Tav’s heart hurts for him. They cannot wait to follow the slimmest of leads with him. Soon. Once their little problem is taken care off, his is next.

It’s a comforting thought and as solid a plan for the future as Tav can currently conceive of. They will do absolutely everything. At once. It is easier to think about what they will do once Mephistopheles is dead than worrying constantly about the battles and possibility of losing.

Lae'zel's letters read like update reports on her campaign against Vlaakith. Tav takes to drawing little maps and diagrams to keep things partly straight. It occupies time and lets their answers appear not utterly incoherent.

Wyll confirms Tav’s intel that the devils of Avernus leave him and Karlach alone, which doesn't keep Karlach from not leaving them alone. She has a shit list a mile long and with nobody stopping her, she goes hog wild. The main repercussion seen to be offers to fix her infernal engine to get her out of Avernus again. So far, no luck.

There are even a few lines from Karlach who doesn't want to say much because she's sure Raphael reads every word.

It's something Tav hasn't even considered. They discard the thought quickly again as well. On the one hand, they wouldn't mind. On the other hand, they don't believe he'd do it. The stuttering exchange of words with the outside world fills some of the hole Haarlep left behind.

And Tav can't keep away completely. But the visits are short. They brim with unease and the incubus has more fun things to do than endure the awkwardness between them.

Haarlep themselves shrugged the incident off completely. Nothing in their behaviour indicates they cashed in on their friend, if Tav ever was one, for their own advancement. Only natural, they call it and ask Tav to return the favour any time. But for the human it is a breach that runs deep and keeps them teetering.

And then, just like that, the time has come. Tension that rose over days peaks and submerges the House of Hope. Anticipation and exhilaration run rampant. Everybody balances on the knife's edge – dominance or defeat, the decision looms.

"It is not the end, my love," Raphael keeps assuring Tav that clings to him, "but the beginning. Everything will change but for the better. Have a little confidence in the future – or at least in me. Would I attempt this if I could not prevail?"

Tav shakes their head, rubbing it against the fabric of his doublet. The colours are subtly changed – darker, less blue, more red. Change is heralded in their devil's looks as much as everything else.

"Then let us prepare for the final victory over my father." Raphael drops a kiss onto Tav's head and pushes them away a little. In the gained space, hellfire embraces his change into fiend form.

Tav sighs and can't help but smile. He is resplendent. They run loving fingers over the blackened bones encasing golden hellfire. Raphael is a glorious beast in this form and they regret they didn't get to see him fight like this except as opponent.

The three-skulled head lowers to them, it's mane of fire wafting behind. So close to him the air smells of hot iron and dead ashes. Tav inhales deeply as they place a hand against the white bone.

The final "adieu" is already reverberating in Tav's bones but they don't want to spill it. So they climb onto the bed instead to stand next to the crown of Karsus. Their fingers follow the familiar black lines of Raphael's chest unwilling to let go. Such a foolish longing and yet overpowering.

"Can I come with you?" they ask, longing dilating their eyes and words.

"Of course, you can," Raphael replies gently. "Will you die if you do?"

Tav averts their eyes and wipes at them angrily. "Yes," they breathe. Yes, I will."

"Stay then." Black claws pinch Tav's jaw and gently turn it to face the devil. "Be safe as you always were and I will be back."

Tav bites their lips and shores up their tears for later. There is a battle that has to be fought. They pick up the crown that never felt this heavy in their hands before. But this was the last time for a while. If all went well. Which it would. It had to. There would be a break, time to breathe after this.

"Adieu mein Herz, ich kann dich nicht begleiten." Tav's voice breaks and they cannot continue. "Promise me you come back,” they breathe instead.

"I promise." The long tongue lolls out of the snout, licking over Tav's face. "For you."

Tav presses a last kiss on their devil before he turns and leaves.

The air leaves with him and Tav crumbles on the vast bed. Maybe they should have asked for a spot of stasis just to be numb while time passes anyway. Instead it is up to them once more. They scald their skin in the bath, feeling the full expanse of their body, crab red and hurting in an explicable pain that can be controlled.

The soft sheets are scarping on the sensitive skin after wards, another physical experience to overpower the brain. And the pillows and sheets still smell of Raphael and that must be comfort enough.

They wake and wander the House of Hope. The archivist is rearranging the items on display.

"Raphael will bring more treasured items with him from Mephistar," he says. "He will find the archive well prepared."

Tav stares at the empty pedestal where the Orphic Hammer once lay. It makes sense. Raphael has to know the vaults of his father, at least to an extent. There must be things in there he lusted after for centuries.

They watch the bustle for a while before they meander on. But the House of Hope is only so big. Inevitably, Tav ends up in the boudoir. The world calms for the duration it takes them to reach the bed from the entrance. A familiar calm not yet disturbed by a familiar face.

"Will you not stay?" Haarlep asks and pats the sheets beside them. "One last time."

Tav feels the irresistible pull of the incubus. They yield and climb onto the huge bed, sitting at the headboard next to the incubus. Haarlep wraps a protective wing around them and silence falls.

"I will remember you," Haarlep finally says. "When this is all over and long gone; when humans are distant memories and Faerûn a mythical country that exists only in legends told by molluscs. That's more than most humans get. Just so you know."

Tav leans against them with a sigh. It means nothing. Maybe it means something in the grand game that is life. But they recognise an outstretched hand when they see one. "I hope the molluscs are smarter than me and see through your machinations then."

"Oh, they wont." The incubus laughs. "But, as you were, they will be happy for the duration of the game. Me, a generous dispenser of happiness. Isn't that something?"

"Your happiness doesn't come without a cost," Tav murmurs. "It comes with strings attached."

"Oh, sweet little mouse, every happiness does." Haarlep wraps an arm around Tav's shoulder. "There is only one story and that story is that somebody has to leave first. You have to die one death in the end. And so many smaller ones in advance. Take your pleasure where you can."

"The way you do?"

"I decided when to leave first." Their tone is light. "It makes everything so much more convenient."

"But then it turns into a race. A race to leave first." Tav shakes their head. It's no way they want to live. "That race knows only losers."

Unthinking they peck Haarlep on the cheek before extracting themself from their wing and climbing off the bed.

Tav wanders into the library. Infernal will stay in integral part of their life and there is always more to learn. Those devils turned their language into a weapon and Tav doesn't plan to cut themself publicly.

It's unclear how many devils know or suspect Tav understands. They keep their head down and their mouth shut as yet. But one day all the hells will know. By then, Tav intends to have mastered at least sentences of medium length that are acceptably complicated in grammar.

It doesn't matter that Tav can't really concentrate. They repeat every paragraph as often as necessary. When their head hurts and the eyes start to droop, Tav folds their arms over the book, places their head on them, and closes their eyes. It's uncomfortable. But the alternative it to start studying again.

The door doesn't bang open. The fiend entering, closes it as deliberately again and strides towards Tav with confident, measured steps. The human raises their head, sleepy befuddlement replaced slowly with recognition. They beam and climb onto their desk to rise closer to their devil's height.

"Raphael."

The whisper is a prayer and an affirmation. The skulls grin back and for a moment the tongue lolls out of the central one. Long claws mesh into soft fingers as he leans down to touch his forehead against Tav's. It lasts only a moment before the human wraps their arms around the incandescent body.

Then the devil straightens, lifting Tav off the desk and they wrap their legs around his waist. "You're back," Tav murmurs against the hot bone. "It is over."

"Es ist Vollbracht." The words rumble through Tav's body in an avalanche of safety. Burning wings close around them and the towering figure makes its way through the House of Hope, cradling its prize close. Victory is to be celebrated. The library won't do.

Tav snuggles against him like a cool centre to his world. Finally all his. Finally safe. Nothing but a lavish feast will do to herald this state of perfection. When he unwraps the wing-made cocoon a little, Tav looks up and meets his muzzle with soft lips. He has hells to bring to heel and order, but this takes precedence.

# # #

Avernus is lacking in sunrises. Tav wakes anyway. The room is also lacking in Raphael but they will cut him some slack. He won a decisive battle and made time to spend with them afterwards instead of politicking. They stretch feeling the welcome soreness throughout their body.

For a golden intermezzo, they stay under the blanket, engulfed in the warmth and lingering smell of Raphael. Then they jump up. The rest of their life awaits. And it looks utterly glorious.

The door to his study stands open when Tav emerges from their suite. They peer inside and Raphael cuts the conversation with the attending three devils short. He smiles and Tav wonders how long it was since last they saw him him this relaxed. Secure in himself and his life. To think that their safety meant so much to him, made Tav's heart skip. They allow their body to follow suit and bounce into the study.

Their devil rises to meet them halfway around the desk. "Recovered?" he asks and his index finger gently pries Tav's collar from their throat to reveal a crescent of angry red teeth marks framing their shoulder. "You should have said something.

Tav smiles. The bite hums in a circle around their shoulder, saturated with luxurious memories. "I did." They capture the devils hand and press a kiss on his knuckles. "Not sure about the precise wording, but I am certain 'please' was involved."

"It was indeed." Raphael reluctantly retracts his hand. "What do you need?"

"To know what happen." Tav steps into his personal space. "To know how he died."

"It will be my pleasure." With a swift motion, he sits them on the desk, fingers tracing their face. "Where to begin. We fought a long and hard battle before we reached his palace. My father holed up in the end, maybe hoping for a siege.

"But his home was my home as well. And children will build their own secrets, unsupervised, neglected, ignored. Underestimated." He says the last word with a deep satisfaction. And Tav smiles up at him, enchanted, happy, at home. He traces their lip with his thumb. As it should be.

"Mephistopheles had nowhere to hide. Nowhere to run that I could not access. His last, most loyal guards, I slayed before his eyes all but one who I turned, right under my father's nose, took trusted loyalty and made it mine." The memory is sweet on his lips, a moment to savour for eternity.

"He was at my mercy. Bargaining as all devils will. You should have seen it. The great Mephistopheles, brought low by a cambion." The surge of power he felt then echoes through Raphael. "He offered me anything, everything I wanted in exchange for his life."

"My contract?" Raphael looks down at the human’s hopeful eyes.

"Of course." The curve of Tav's face is soft in his palm. Of course his father offered the contract. One of his last trumps. One that didn't save him in the end. "He offered me everything I had already taken by force. Offered me fealty even, to reverse our roles. And I will not lie, I did consider it. To have him at my disposal, at my mercy for however long it takes for me to tire of it."

He smiles and kisses Tav's forehead. "Then I thought of you and he received and undeservedly quick and painless end.”

"Thank you." The tremor in Tav's voice burrows deep into his chest. "So it is finally over."

"It is." Raphael wraps an arm around them. "You are safe now. I won't let anybody hurt you."

"And I promise not to sell my soul again." Tav snorts slightly and looks up at him with a lopsided grin.

"Don't worry, that can't happen."

"Can't?" Tav leans back further for a better view.

Raphael slips his index finger under their chin. "You already sold your soul, remember?"

"Yes, but Mephistopheles I dead. The contract is void."

"Unless," Raphael smiles, “the devil is killed by another devil. And that devil decides to uphold the former commitment. Your soul is in safe hands."

Tav's face freezes, then a furrow creeps over their brow. "You took my contract?"

"Of course."

Tav doesn't reply. For a long while they just stare at him. Of course. There is nothing of course about this. They were meant to be free. Mephistopheles' death was meant to free them. Not bind them to somebody else. Not even Raphael.

"Why?" they finally ask.

It is Raphael's turn to be dumbstruck. He looks down at the little mouse, finally well and truly caught. Finally all his. What answer do they expect when this has been their truth from the day they stayed with him in his House of Hope? "To keep it safe, of course. To keep you safe."

"I am safe." Tav shakes their head. "Here with you and in Faerûn."

"So you plan to go back."

"Of course. I want to visit all my friends and help them if I can. I left a life behind and I want it back." Tav blinks and breathes deeply. "The House of Hope is my home, I think of this," they gesture around, "as my home. I will always come back."

The news doesn't go down well and Gale's words echo in Tav's mind. They reach up to cup the devil's face with one hand. "Just as you always come back. I love you and I am yours – body, heart and mind."

"But not soul."

Silence falls and Tav tries to wrangle their uproar of emotions. This is not how it is to go. This is all wrong. They need to get through to Raphael, but their words are slipping through their mind like snakes through sand.

"You want to be here," Raphael finally says. It is only half a question.

"Yes."

"With me."

"Yes!"

"As it was before. Willingly. Body, heart, and mind."

"Yes." Tav murmurs. Hope flares up that they are finally getting somewhere. "But I never wanted to be bound to you by a contract!"

"What difference does it make?"

Tav stares at him, looks at the devil they know as if they see him for the first time. He sees no difference. To love is to possess and if that is impossible to obsess. "If you don't know, I don't think I can explain it to you."

The wobble of their lip is quelled by Tav biting down on it hard. They taste blood but it is a welcome counterpoint to the tears rising in their eyes.

"You are mine," the words fall from his lips hard and final. "You want to be mine."

Tav shakes their head. "Not like that, not like a – a thing. I wanted to be yours but like a commitment, not like a possession." They draw themself up with a long sigh. "If I have to spend eternity here after my death, I better go and see something else until then."

Their shoulders hunch up yet Tav turns away anyway. "Goodbye, Raphael."

The words are soft lest their voice break and Tav walks out of the study with measure steps. They don't turn around or stop until they reach the foyer, calling up the portal to Baldur's Gate. Casting a last, blurred glance around their home, Tav steps into the darkness.

[faneliansficaloh]

A Lifetime of Happiness

(Ch 1) (Ch 2) (Ch 3) (Ch 4) (Ch 5) (Ch 6) (Ch 7) (Ch 8) (Ch 9) (Ch 10) (Ch 11) (Ch 12) (Ch 13) (Ch 14)

This is Chapter 15

Read in AO3

Notes

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16th January 1818

Dear Colin,

As I only have the one child, I have no use for your strategy. Abby is a very sweet child, she gives me more joy than trouble. I’ve heard that this might change in the next months, but I don’t think so. There is something in the way she looks at things that tells me she has more interest in learning and making the world work for her than quarrelling with it.

Eloise tells me I only say these things because it is my baby and she might be right. She already calls me mama, so to me she is the smartest and most beautiful girl in the world.

Am I supposed to pity you that your duties include lavish dinner parties? Poor man, having to endure the society of the Portuguese elite. It sounds to me like your true intention was to brag and if so, you should do so openly. Tell me about the people you meet and the things you learn.

As the weather improves here we will see more of our neighbours. The Hylton’s are most amiable and they will send us a gift of preserves or a bushel of fruit on occasion, and we respond in kind. Their eldest grand daughter, Virginia, plays the pianoforte beautifully, she reminds me of Francesca she plays so well, and her sister Beatrice has a very beautiful singing voice. You might remember them, they were at our little party in London before Alfred left. Margaret does play the harp but we have not brought one with us. I regret not being more musically inclined myself, for unless there is a party we do not have any means to to enjoy music at home. I never stood a chance to play properly, however, always felt my hands were too small and my reflexes too slow to reach all the keys on time. As for my singing voice, let’s just say that Prudence is more gifted.

The way you’ve described the ocean at night and the gentle rain, I am growing very curious about the journal describing your voyage. Was it monotonous or did every day present a different view? Even when it is perfectly fixed in place, the view from my window changes constantly, although subtly. The clouds that come and go are never the same shape and the colours of the sky when the sun is low in the horizon do vary with them. The hillside takes longer to change, but it will grow green, then will be full of colourful dots and eventually go to a muted hay colour before white snow covers it completely. Flocks of birds will swirl around at dusk, looking for a place to pass the night among the trees on the south side.

I cannot imagine all that can change aboard a moving ship, sailing so far away over the deep ocean, so you will have to tell me.

Yours, Penelope.

1815 – A Celebration

Lord Debling had proposed at the Boehms’ on the 21st of June. It was a Wednesday and the most extraordinary coincidence had occurred, that just as he asked her to be his wife, people around the bench they were sitting on started hurrying up to the windows or out to the street, so when she actually accepted, he looked around and having made sure no one was paying attention to them, he had kissed her. It had been a very quick and soft kiss and she had been completely caught off guard so they both had smiled like mischievous children.

The next morning Penelope’s bedroom door opened and in came Eloise with indecipherable pursed lips. The light entering from the window made it seem as if fairy dust danced around her. As soon as the door closed behind her, Eloise produced the latest Whistledown and started to read from it.

“To those who doubt Miss Featherington’s means to secure such an admirable match, allow me to offer that Lord Debling was once overheard admiring the lady’s eloquence. Proof enough that the man must be truly charmed by her, for whoever has exchanged more than a greeting with Miss Featherington can attest to the contrary. Whether it is a love match or not, this author congratulates them both.” She put it down and stared directly at Penelope, who had been listening to her from her bed, looking rather amused. “Even when congratulating yourself?”

Penelope, who was sitting in her bed, crossed her arms. “It is intended to be a bit fun, Eloise. There is no fun in just saying ‘so and so are to be married’ and not add anything to it.”

“If you say so.” She rolled her eyes before changing direction “By the look of things downstairs it seems your mother is not wasting any time”

“I think she started even earlier, probably from the day he asked for her permission to propose. I’m afraid to interfere with the engagement party at all, I might lose a limb if I oppose anything. But it is all in exchange for the wedding itself being a simpler affair”

“What is the plan, once you are done for, I mean?” Eloise smiled playfully as she sat on the bed besides Penelope and reached for a macaroon from the box next to her.

“After the wedding breakfast we will depart for Surrey, and then I will spend the next months preparing to run things in his absence for a long, and as of yet uncertain amount of time”

“I thought he would leave immediately” she said with her mouth full.

“No, they are to set sail on April and then it will take a couple of months or so for them to arrive to the point where the last exploration stopped, and they will continue on from there.”

“It all sounds so daunting, Pen.” Eloise’s worry showed in her face “There is still plenty of time for you to change your mind” she took her hand in hers as she said this.

“I don’t want to change my mind. I am very lucky, El. Lord Debling is a good man so I do not fear utter misery in my future, I actually enjoy his company, and the fact that his research keeps him occupied and even away for such long periods of time will allow me to keep writing.”

“It is all very sensible and practical, yes.” She didn’t sound very convinced that this was really good for her friend.

“What I don’t find sensible is your new found friendship with Cressida of all people”

“I’m not sure that I trust her enough to call her my friend, and we’ve only truly talked a couple of times, but I have learned to see some qualities in her.”

“Qualities!” Penelope seemed offended at the thought.

“Have you noticed how she always knows what to say to upset you – to upset anyone? She has this uncanny ability to read people, as much as she hasn’t touched an actual book in years”

“What do you mean read people?” She looked at Eloise like many people did, regularly – as if she had said something unintelligible.

“She has a very quick understanding of how people feel, not just how they act, but how they truly feel or what motivates them. It is terrifying but it is also illuminating.”

“What has she told you?” Penelope was growing suspicious of what seemed to be admiration for her greatest foe coming from her best friend.

“You will need to find her a husband, since you snatched the last good one” she said, with her mouth full.

“Eloise, what did she tell you?” Penelope looked at her admonishingly.

Eloise turned to look at the ceiling, as if recalling and started counting her transgressions with her fingers “Apparently I am a terrible listener, I’m all talk and judgemental and – unintentionally, I have to say—cruel” She blushed profusely.

“You’re not cruel! And pointing out your insecurities is not an admirable trait.”

“I agree, but these weren’t even things I was insecure about simply because I wasn’t even truly aware of them, you see? But now that I am aware of these things, I can try to work up the courage to actually do something and focus my powers on that. And I have been inadvertently cruel in my dismissal of other women simply because we have different interests and I will… I will try to listen more carefully. That includes you, Pen.”

Penelope smiled sweetly at her dear friend, reaching to press her hand reassuringly “And you got all that from talking to Cressida?”

“Quite by accident, but yes. You see, she was obviously trying to be hurtful, but it helped me reflect, so the joke’s on her.”

“I do not want to imagine a world where she actually educates her mind”

“She would be bloody unstoppable” Eloise mused.

***

The week that followed was all Lady Featherington had been dreaming of since the day she had presented her daughters to the Queen. She spared no expense to throw the lushest party in her power to celebrate the engagement of her youngest daughter to a Baron.

The Featherington gardens had never looked so full of colour, not even when in full bloom – Portia had chosen to have a garden party since Lord Debling was a naturalist, after all. There were long ribbons adorning the hedges and the canopy over the food was made in multi coloured fabric. Portia had decided against ostrich feathers in long vases only because it had been the only thing Penelope actually protested against. Even the weather had cooperated and had provided a clear sky and fresh breeze that afternoon.

“Why aren’t you happier? It is your party” Phillipa had a look of what Penelope could not believe was concern, even while she took a bite of finger food as she waited for her answer.

“I am happy, only overwhelmed by the attention, I guess. I’m not used to getting so much of it” As she said this, Lord Debling smiled at her from across the garden, where he was talking with Mr. Finch and Mr. Dankworth, who were surely providing much needed advise on dealing with Featherington women.

“But you are always complaining that no attention is paid to you. So what is it? Do you want attention or not? Because you always made sure to withdraw and hide away, just to bellyache next about how no one cares about you” Phillipa said the last part rather dramatically, mockingly.

“I would not have been so keen to distance myself if once in a while a kind word were to be said for my benefit. But you were always mocking me and pointing out everything that was wrong with me.” She responded defensively.

“And you were always putting us down as if we were ignorant dunderheads unworthy of your time. It’s just what sisters do, isn’t it? We had fun teasing each other” She smiled, as if recalling a very fond memory, to Penelope’s shock.

“Fun? It was not fun for me!” She was truly flabbergasted.

“It wasn’t? So you really cared what we said? Why ever would you?” This seemed to be a revelation to Philippa.

“Of course I cared! You are my sisters and are supposed to love me, and if you saw me that way – a ridiculous, ugly person, well, I didn’t want others to see it as well.”

“Good grief, Penelope! Why do you care so much about what others think about you? The only one whose opinion you should care for is your future husband, and not for everything, mind you. I could hardly take anyone in this house seriously, we are such a ridiculous family.”

“What do you mean?” Penelope was truly astounded by her sister’s attitude.

“You see, Mother is always worrying and making a big deal about all sorts of things as if the world were to come crumbling down any second, and father would never even bat an eye about anything, like nothing ever mattered at all. I gathered that things might not be going exceedingly well, but they weren’t terrible either, you know?”

Penelope gave it some thought “So, you thought that making any effort was not worth it because mama would keep on always making it all to be a catastrophe, and papa would not even care one way or another, is that what you mean?”

“Exactly! Why would you care what anyone else thinks, isn’t everyone a bit ridiculous too?”

“That is an interesting perspective, Philippa. But Prudence cares a great deal, too, does she not?”

She shook her head “Prudence only cares what mama thinks, which is why I tease her.” She said this loud enough for Prudence to hear, as she approached them.

“What are you two going on about?” Prudence asked them but was looking out behind them as she waited for an answer.

“Our childhood. Penelope resents us, Prue because we were mean to her” Philippa said with a cattish smile.

“Oh, I’m sorry, were we supposed to coddle the little baby?” Here it came the mockery in full swing.

Philippa held her clasped hands above her chest “We hurt her feelings!”

Prudence cupped her own face with her hands “Oh, no! Poor little baby”

“You two are unbearable!” Penelope motioned to move away but Prudence stopped her.

“Oh, what? will you go running up to your room because you’re a little uncomfortable now?”

“So am I supposed to just stay and stand your abuse?”

Prudence chuckled “Oh, grow up! We are just teasing you, you always over react.”

“So dramatic!” Philippa quickly interjected.

“Let me give you some sisterly advice now that you are to be married -when life puts you in a truly uncomfortable position you won’t be able to just retreat and hope for no one to notice you. It might have served you well to stay out of our little troubles here at home, but once you’re running your own household you won’t be able to just go and stay in your room forever, writing letters and reading books.” Prudence seemed genuine, which for some reason upset Penelope.

“Yes, I tried. It does not work.” Philippa warned, distracting Prudence for a second.

“So, yes, you should stay and maybe fight back a little instead of running away when you feel uncomfortable. You might have fun for once if you choose to engage instead of discarding us immediately.” Penelope was surprised that her elder sister was actually offering her what seemed like honest, heartfelt advise and not just attacking her. Being with child had apparently softened her, she couldn’t decide if she cared for it, but she was now thinking that she might have been unknowingly hurting her sister’s feelings as well.

“I was not discarding you--” She was abruptly interrupted by Philippa who was talking as if Prudence had said nothing.

“Albion’s mother just came and took over the house. It was an utter disaster – She started rearranging the furniture in the drawing room!” Both Prudence and Penelope stared at Philippa “I told you I tried it and it doesn’t work, staying in your bedroom to avoid trouble”

“Are you having trouble with Mr. Finch?” Penelope was genuinely worried, she could not imagine what they would be fighting about, as all this time it seemed Mr. Finch was beyond besotted with her sister and worshipped the ground she walked on.

“He refused to get a poodle for me”

“A Poodle?” She nodded “Philippa that is just a tantrum”

“Well, it didn’t work”

“Naturally!” scoffed Prudence. “Where is mama? I want to show her my new ivory fan, Mr. Dankworth just got it delivered this morning.”

“See?” Philippa tilted her head and gave Penelope a knowing look.

“Can I see it?” Asked Penelope, more to try to prove the point than out of curiosity, but of course Prudence simply kept looking for Portia, ignoring her. Philippa shook her head.

“I told you”

“Hush! There she is.” And Prudence just walked away as succinctly as she had joined them.

Lord Debling had finally been able to excuse himself from her sisters’ husbands and had arrived at her side, just as Prudence had walked away.

“Mrs. Finch, may I steal my bride to be?”

“Of course my lord, I see my Albion needs me anyway” She bowed and went to join her husband

“Were your sisters giving you a hard time?” He said softly, with concern. They had always been on their best behaviour around him, but Penelope had told him how they used to mock her relentlessly, and even when she had said it quite matter-of-factly, he had noticed a tinge of sadness on her voice at the time. Through their courtship he had noticed Penelope rather envied the family life of her friends across the square, for her own had been markedly different.

“No.” She said, perplexed at her own answer “They were actually giving me advice.”

“I am glad to hear it, but you don’t look very convinced”

“It was just a very unusual, sincere conversation that I was not expecting in the least. What were you talking about with Mr. Finch and Mr. Dankworth?”

He smiled, clearly amused at the thought “They were welcoming me into the Featherington family --” It seemed he had more to add but Marina approached them.

“Lord Debling, Penelope, Congratulations!”

“Thank you, Mrs. Bridgerton”

“I hope you can forgive my husband’s absence, he is unwell and regrets not being able to join us in this happy occasion”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Nothing serious, I hope?”

“A terrible headache, my Lord, but nothing proper rest can’t cure, I’m sure. He’s been working terribly hard lately”

“He’s taken up work at the foreign ministry” Clarified Penelope.

“Oh, yes. With Lord Castlereagh, I assume?”

“Not directly, but under his office, yes. They keep him quite busy these days” Marina said with a little bite that might have slipped unintended.

“I’m sure it is only while he proves himself and learns the ropes. He’s just started, after all.” Penelope chimed, it was not clear to Lord Debling if she was offering reassurance to Mrs. Bridgerton or defending Mr. Bridgerton. Marina just smiled tightly.

“I hope your husband recovers soon, Mrs Bridgerton, please give him our well wishes”

“I will.” Marina smiled and playfully raised an eyebrow to Penelope as she caught the our in that sentence. “I must pay my respects to Lady Featheringon, if you’ll excuse me”

They started walking aimlessly, as they talked. “How do you gather that a man would be less busy after he learns the intricacies of a job?”

“Mr. Dankworth has told us how overwhelming it was for him when he started working on his father’s business, and how it took him long hours to get acquainted with everything he needed to do the job, so that he could be truly useful. Knowing Mr. Bridgerton, he must be trying to be useful immediately.”

“And you know him very well?” She didn’t like the slight frown on his face as he said this. The thought crossed her mind to reach out with her hand and smooth the frown away with her fingers, but she contained herself.

“I know him enough to make a guess. As you know I am closely acquainted with his family and he is married to my cousin. I’ve spent quite some time with them and their children.” This seemed to satisfy him, and with the smile back on his lips, he said.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” She lifted her eyes as she blushed, and quickly looked back down. Even now, she still couldn’t get used to receiving compliments and being the object of such a flirtatious look.

“Thank you” She could not think of what to say in response to that, but from the corner of her eye she noticed Eloise was approaching, so she moved to shorten the distance “Eloise!”

“Pen! Lord Debling, how do you do?” She half remembered her manners

“Good evening, Miss Bridgerton. Shall I give you ladies some privacy?”

“That is very thoughtful of you, my Lord” Said Eloise, nodding. “Seen as how you’re taking her away from me forever, this small kindness will not be forgotten”

“Oh, I am not taking her away, Miss Bridgerton, she is coming with me because she wishes to – I asked her -- she will be back with you as often as she desires.”

“I will hold you to it, my Lord” Eloise said with a tentative smile.

“Very well, I’ll leave you to it” He pressed his lips into a thin line and left them on their own.

“You are right. He doesn’t seem that bad.”

“I will give him your compliments” It was truly a compliment coming from Eloise. She must have liked him if she openly admitted he wasn’t that bad.

“I see the whole ton is in attendance, your mother truly went out of her way”

“Not everyone is here, though. Where did you leave your best friend, Cressida Cowper?”

“Oh, that’s... over” Eloise scrunched her face as she shook her head.

“Really? Oh, no that’s so terrible, I’m so surprised” Said Penelope without an iota of surprise or sadness in her voice.

“Spare me the mockery, please” She looked genuinely mortified.

“What happened?”

Eloise sighed and seemed to give it some thought before continuing, wistfully “There was a fundamental misunderstanding between us. She did not really ever try to understand most of what I said and I was not able to help her get a husband or escape her horrible family situation. She was understandably too worried about her future to enjoy my wit which is pretty much all I could offer her.”

“Now I feel bad for joking about it”

“You can send her a sympathy note to Wales, they’re apparently shipping her off there since her father has deemed her unmarriable now that the geezer he was giving her away to has passed of old age. Say how sorry you are you stole your Lord Debling from under her nose. You know, because she’s so tall and you’re so tiny.” She laughed at her own joke as Penelope rolled her eyes. “I tried to convey my regret that I was not able to help her situation, I truly can’t think what I could have done for her.”

“I cannot believe myself, but do you think it would be helpful at all if Lady Whistledown brought attention to the fact that she is being shipped off for the crime of not having had the luck to secure a marriage?”

“Maybe that will shame her parents enough to let her stay.”

“You truly are a very good friend, Eloise”

“Considering I just revealed to you, the most notorious gossip in Mayfair all about her very personal situation, I’m not sure I believe so, but thank you for the sentiment.”

“You know I would not use anything you tell me without your agreement. And I think she should count herself lucky that you worry about her at all. I am sure she does not worry about anyone else’s problems. And precisely because I don’t think she is the only one in such a situation is that I will say something about it.” She nodded, assuringly.

Suddenly Penelope felt like she was being watched. For a moment she thought she had seen a dark tall figure in the shadows behind the rose bushes, but as she searched, she was met with Lord Debling’s mirthful eyes and slightly tilted head. He seemed to be questioning if she was going back to him any time soon. She found this rather charming, for some reason. There it was this man, an extraordinary man, who even when he was surrounded by friends, still seemed to want her company – which in itself was already something – but he’d still rather wait for her to come to him than interrupt a moment of privacy previously granted.

“Go on. I should start getting used to it, I have had all season as practise” Eloise did seem a little hurt, not that she would ever admit it earnestly.

“He’s a patient man, he can wait a little longer.”She said this looking at him, even though she knew he wouldn’t be able to hear her, but he still seem to acknowledge he was being teased.

“Look at you, so sure of yourself! It becomes you, Pen.”

“Tell me about your plans for this summer”

All night was spent with the betrothed couple being mostly apart from each other, talking to different people and stealing joyful, teasing, covetous glances at each other.

And then, in a rare moment chance allowed, where it was the two of them, wearied of the crowd they went to hide behind the rose bushes, where they sat on a bench and laughed at the absurd size of the party and informed each other of the things of note that had been said to them by well wishers. It was there, as they prepared to go back to the crowd where he had kissed her in a way that made her feel like time had stopped.

“We should rejoin the party before our absence is noted” She said

“Do you think they really will?” Penelope laughed, but he was already standing and offering his hand to her.

His eyes danced as he looked at her, a marvelled expression in his face. It was an alien but wonderful feeling for Penelope to feel admired in this manner. She nodded, on instinct, and he pressed his lips unto hers, his hand hovering at the back of her head, as if unsure. The warmth of his tongue softly caressing her bottom lip made her gasp, allowing for his further venturing, his grasp landing firmly at the nape of her head and softly at her back.

When they parted, he found his smiling eyes still fixed on hers. He whispered “That was for teasing me all night”

She smiled. “Was that supposed to be punishment?”

He shook his head “Not at all.”

***

Dear Gentle readers,

As the social season rapidly approaches it’s end, one can’t help but wonder what sad destiny awaits those young women, with all of their accomplishments and refined graces when luck does not bestow their favour upon them, and refuses to grant them the security of a marriage proposal soon enough to satisfy their eager families? It seems sometimes cruelty is found where unconditional affection should be, and this author poses to you one more question: How is a young lady to make herself agreeable to any gentleman, if all she knows from the very bosom of her family is coldness and indifference? These are hardly qualities attractive to, well, anyone with a beating heart.

Season after season, quietly but surely we encounter the sudden disappearance of young women cast away by their families to faraway relatives for the heinous crime of not having gotten a marriage proposal in the time frame imagined by their parents. One could understand if this were the case of an impoverished family who could no longer support the burden of a young lady under their roof, but that cannot possibly be the case for the fair ladies of the ton.

I posit that perhaps the heir making machine would work better if we stopped thinking of it as that, and conferred it the humanity it is actually made of. More success would probably be achieved from a caring and nurturing environment than from the cold setting of deadlines and the pressure to generate attachments out of thin air.

The season is not over yet, and the Cowpers were already notably absent from the elaborate celebration thrown by Lady Featherington on the occasion of her daughter, Miss Penelope Featherington’s upcoming nuptials and it was not due to a lack of invitation.”

Chapter 16

[nebulacollege]

How do they dress outside of school? Do any prefer designer clothes? What’s their aesthetics?

+

Anonymous asked:

Not my dumb ass reading your reply and wondering, “Why did the anon mention the clothes they were wearing?”

Sorry, I couldn’t not include this ask because it’s too funny! Now the mystery is up. Unfortunately (?), the only clothes we’re going to talk about today is Nebula’s boys preferences...

I asked Ryu to help me with this reply because I don’t know much about clothes, fashion and I’m just biased towards t-shirts and hoodies. Unfortunately (!), my boys don’t seem like the type to wear those often, although it would suit them very nicely. I haven’t thought out their aesthetics outside of the college, so these things might change in the future.

Niall definitely has designer clothes, and he’s lucky enough to have big brands send him custom clothes/shoes that were tailored and/or made specifically for him on his order (or maybe as a PR company or as a sign of gratitude if his family is on good terms with it, so it’s a “favour”). This does not happen very often, however, because it’s usually very expensive and he’s not the most important prince in the world lol Depends on the circumstances.

I think he’d go for lighter tones and things that will make him stand out but won’t clash with his bright hair colour. It’s usually shirts, polo shirts, sweaters, cardigans, rugby shirts. Something that looks bright, but clearly expensive, he goes for a preppy look. He’s your typical rich guy from the media, although in modern terms he’s a little bit old-fashioned?

Ned wears whatever everyone else is wearing. If some brand is favoured in his house and is considered “appropriate” for his status and his family, he wears it too because he doesn’t care about clothes much, as long as it meets TPO. He’s still concerned about its quality and there’s an air of elitism, although he’s the type to connect quality with the price tag a little.

He wears shirts and polo shirts and sweaters as well, plus henley shirts/sweaters, but you can actually see him wear t-shirts as well, and not only during his training sessions. He can also go for a hoodie, occasionally. I think I mentioned his preferred colours somewhere in a previous reply? A loose tracksuit is also something he can wear and not necessarily for training, just at home.

Ryu also suggested that he might not like jeans because they make him feel uncomfortable between his thighs.

Edmund wears whatever is given to him and shows very little enthusiasm in shopping in general, so he ends up being a little capricious about trying things on or getting measured, and not all clothes fit him perfectly. He has small shoulders for a guy and short height, so he needs to be very careful with it due to how men’s clothes are usually made, that’s why his uniform is such a disaster lol He likes oversized comfortable clothes where you cannot see this, so he likes hoodies, jumpers, turtlenecks, stuff like that.

He has brighter and lighter colours in his wardrobe, but he gravitates towards dark, muted or just very neutral colous and shades of grey. He wants to check out t-shirts, but buys them very rarely and chooses a fun print/colour.

Ryu also suggested that Edmund doesn’t like a big amount of buttons, laces, and everything that requires him spending years to get a piece of clothing in order. He just wants to put it on and go, it makes him feel tired. He doesn’t like uniforms and suits.

He has certain clothes that are insanely expensive, but if you don’t know the history of them, you wouldn’t get it. Niall and Liam could notice on him something like trainers of which there’re only ten pairs were made in the entire world.

Liam is a man of contrasts, as you could’ve noticed. Since his parents own a fashion house and he learned a lot about it, it takes him a very short time to come up with a good combination. He’s more modern than our first two guys, and he has tons of designer clothes both bought and gifted to him, including the ones people might find weird. He can wear something typical like a beige overcoat with a brown sweater and some other plain thing like that, and the next wear a jumper with a weird print, bright green pants and oversized shoes and somehow it’s actually insanely trendy. Liam also has a curse that no matter what he’s wearing, it looks so fucking good on him.

[bakafurai]

ooooo you wanna tell me about your ocs so bad ooooo

it wasn't until i got this ask that i realised oh shit i have. a lot of ocs,,,

ANYWAYS,,, i've decided i will now talk about my ocs ethos, pathos and logos :3 putting it under a read more bc. I like to ramble haha,,,

little backstory time: these three are actually one of my oldest ocs dating from.... late 2017 I think? I remember it was during my Sanders Sides brainrot era (it's a youtube series by thomas sanders that is very good i def recommend it), i was watching on the behind the scenes videos and they mentioned Ethos, Pathos and Logos and i thought "oh that sounds neat" and looked up and then boom. ocs where made...god they were sooo different back then, my oc lore has gone through many changes XD

oh here are the name meanings btw (taken of this site bc i am terrible at describing things lmao)

My human drawing skills has gotten better since I made this but the designs stay roughly the same so here they are!!

for slight context: they are fairies (not the typical kind you see in fantasy though), they come in all sorts of colours (passed down genetically and each of them have special abilities they get from around 6 or 7 years old, kinda similar to MHA's quirks in a way (I made this up before i got into mha btw), it starts to develop for them at the age of 4, where a symbol shows up on their bodies, when a fairy gets older they'll learn the ability to hide this symbol if they so wish (otherwise it's shown through clothing, though this act is not the most common). And yes they do have things but are generally pretty tiny (but powerful enough to let them fly for a decent for time), there are some who have larger pair of wings (this is. a whole other can of worms relating to the in universe magic that i won't go into too much details here haha), but short wings double wings are the norm (nobody has a set of 4 of wings, just 2, there is an exception but again is another can of worms haha).

uhh that's about it i think? there's some random slightly unrelated stuff like they can summon a shield or bladed weapon via their symbols (developed in the same sense as their magic, but comes along later when they are like 15 or so). also they can glow in the dark ig (except for fairies with darker colours, like black or dark grey, but these coloured fairies aren't the most common.)

They're able to cover their whole body with a pretty tough metal to protect themselves, sometimes spikes will come out (they cannot control this.), also they coincidentally have a circular shield they can summon and grow at will.

OOPS I DID NOT MEAN TO GO OFF ON THAT LMAO ANYWAYS ACTUAL OC TALK TIME DFGHDJD

I'll start with Ethos first: Ethos is non-binary, aroace and 20 years old (at the time of their first appearance). they live in an apartment in what i can only describe as the fairy version of england with their childhood best friend Pathos (who i will get to in a min).

Ethos is currently studying to become a defence lawyer. They're generally a pacifist and try not to take sides (ironic i know, it was Pathos who encouraged them to go for it), that being said they can be sassy if allowed- generally it's when they're at home with Pathos or their qpp (they don't have a name and design yet but i'm working on it). Ethos and Pathos have known each other since they were kids, and Pathos was the first person Ethos came out as non-binary too, and in general Pathos is kind of like a brother to them.

Next up is Pathos my silly little guy!!! Pathos is cis male, pan, and also 20 years old. As mentioned previously, he and Ethos are roommates and childhood best friends so i won't get too much into it. oh also he has undiagnosed adhd.

Pathos is,,, a special case in terms of magic abilities, they were born with a unnaturally large amount of excess magic (which is. another can of worms. hm.), without going into too much detail. by normal means Pathos has empathic abilities, when they turn it on it shows up as different colours depending on the emotions, he's able to sense it similarly even with his eyes close so he can use it as a second pair of eyes if he wants to. With enough concertation he can extend the area he's able to detect emotions, but he tries not to that too much because it can be overwhelming for him (or at worse it will turn into full on telepathy he has no control over).

If someone's emotion is strong enough it will show up as a glow around that person for Pathos, it can overwhelm Pathos if he actually activates his ability. The excess magic generally comes into play when he feels too strongly, his colours will change and he will gain another ability (ei; anger will make him turn red, and will gain pyrokinetic abilities. the angrier he gets the more monster like his body also gets, generally he gets fangs, a devil tail and smoke will come out of his mouth, but over time his hands/feet will turn into claws, his fangs n horns will grow, his body heat will grow hotter and the smoke will become more intense. that's definitely an extreme case, a more lighter one would be turning yellow when he's overjoyed/excited and gets a pleasant warm aura around him).

Pathos has a bladed weapon he can summon, but i haven't decided on what yet (it hasn't really come up in my stories yet), Pathos is a strong fighter, has been trained in martial arts since he was 11 to defend Ethos and other classmates from some bullies (fairies are generally very accepting and kind but it takes some time for some young kids to learn these things).

Pathos, when he's not doing martial arts, studies animal care- his class each have assigned animals they care for on the side based on their abilities. Pathos cares for a mother earth dragon and her 3 young ones, Dragons in this universe are heavily sensitive to emotions of others so generally Pathos' abilities comes in handy. Dragons in protective care in this planet and it is considered illegal to hunt them- this doesn't stop poachers from other planets to sneak in (pathos has managed to stop them a numerous amount of times,). Pathos is also unnaturally talented at flight despite his average sized small wings (doctors believe it may be due to the excess magic he has)

oh fuck i have no talked about his personality yet damn uhhh. Pathos is super friendly and all over the place, a big lover of food/baked goods, and is very good at making friends. Being an empath he's very quick to pick up emotions of others and if they are uncomfortable or not, which makes me a pretty easy guy to go to for a lot of fairies who know him. A huge lover of hoodies and sometimes gifts close friends hoodies, also he has a pet pigeon named "Buddy" whomst he loves very much.

LASTLY WE HAVE LOGOS,,, god I have rambled so much lmao,,,

Logos! She's not actually fairy, and more so an android made to look like one. Her body is genderless but her AI is set to female so she uses she/her pronouns. Logos was created to assist the queen of what i will for now be calling faeland (basically fairy england,,, fairy uk,, the planet is a lot like earth in many ways), originally she was grey with no ounce of emotions but the queen thought that was sad so she used her magic (not fae magic, sorry this is another can of worms) to give her the ability to feel. Logos' "brain" is connected wirelessly to a large internet archive holder owned by another oc that is connect to a lot of places- due to this she has access to an enormous amount of information (fun fact: originally she was all knowing but this concept became to confusing to me so i changed it. this might not make that much sense either in terms of logic but i wrote this bit when i was like 17 i think so uh. shoosh ig.) to which she uses in a large variety of ways.

Her look as seen from above is her more casual look, the hoodie was a gift from Pathos, she uses in day to day activities- including detective/police work, being an informant for the queen, assisting the queen in her tasks in general. However some may know her as the one-man-army knight general of the queen, she can shift to a more knight like look when she fights, there are plenty of soldiers around but Logos could probably hand a large amount of enemies by herself.

Speaking of fighting! As she is not actual fairy she is not born with magic or a weapon- instead she has a katana stored in her body symbol that glows to give off the effect of a regular fairy summoning a weapon. After the queen fused some magic in her body, she has been able to let out electricity from her body (she does this only in dire situations, but at most she might use it to taze someone if needed), her symbol also oddly shows up through her clothing but works the same way as before.

Personality wise, Logos is somewhat stoic and logical, but is perfectly able to read the room. Her eyes will change colour if she feels something strongly (it is a magic user thing), but it doesn't happen often. Generally speaking Logos is one of the few emotionally stable characters I have. When Logos is with Pathos she often ends up become his babysitter or having to stop him acting on impulse, she also becomes a grounding presence for him as she learns more about him and helps him through some of his mental health issues when they come up. Logos come off as cold but she's decently friendly and kind hearted, she just has a resting serious face.

aaand that's about it I think????? wow I sure rambled a lot lmao it's been what. about 2 hours????? since i started typing??? whoops