#aaugghhhhhh

[keferon]

Inspired by the ask about Ratchets “How to hold a human class”

———————————————————————

“Kid! C’mere!”

Deadlock twitched a finial in Ratchets direction. He wasn’t quite ready to stop sulking contemplating by his spot next to the pond but Deadlock also didn’t want Ratchet to yell at him again.

Actually yell at him.

Deadlock hadn’t meant to piss the medic off, he was actually trying to help in the moment. Ratchet said he needed to get something on the catwalk so Deadlock did the natural thing and grabbed Ratchets arm to put him up there. He’d barely lifted him off the ground when Deadlock felt the shock of pain shoot through Ratchets field a split second before he shouted in pain. He immediately let go which resulted in Ratchet landing hard on his hip.

After which Ratchet flew into one of the most genuinely angry rages he’d ever seen. He’d called Deadlock every variation of “reckless” and “irresponsible” imaginable. Any thought of justifying himself withered under not so much Ratchets scolding, as the faint feeling of pain and concern that bled through the rage like a new layer of paint slapped on before the first layer could dry.

Deadlock retreated into himself and fled the hangar. Flipping endlessly between “I didn’t mean to!” and “That doesn’t matter slaghead!” Through his mind and the night.

It was morning, and Deadlock was determined not to be a coward at the very least. Whatever punishment Ratchet had decided on Deadlock would respect. Even if it was something as spark crushing as “leave and don’t come back.”

Deadlock followed Ratchet, who was favoring his right hip, back to the hangar. Deadlock kneeled and waited for his sentence.

“Okay. We’re gonna go over some ground rules and basic human anatomy so what happened yesterday doesn’t happen again.”

Deadlock’s finials popped straight up. His mouth open to say something but nothing came to fruition.

Ratchet waved his hand through the air, “You didn’t know and you didn’t mean it. We both know it was an accident but if you really want to make it up to me then pay attention.”

Deadlock closed his mouth and nodded quickly.

“Good. Now gimme your hand.”

Deadlock complied, keeping his hand lax as Ratchet manipulated it to wrap it around his arm the same way from yesterday.

“Okay, don’t do anything yet but explain to me why you grabbed me this way.”

Deadlock cycled his optics for a second while he thought.

“Cause your arm is a convenient handle?”

Ratchet breathed out his nose slowly.

“And do normally pick up other mechs that way?”

“Yes?” Sort of. Deadlock didn’t really interact with minicons. Or maybe they just avoided him.

“This makes more sense then.” Ratchet said, swinging his arm and Deadlocks hand slightly.

“Metal can take that kind of torque without easily bending or tearing . Humans are not made of freakin metal kid. We’re a lot of soft tissue wrapped around a hard skeleton. The skeleton is basically a bunch of individual struts held together by soft connective tissue. That tissue is normally pretty strong when it’s pulled the normal way.”

Ratchet leaned slightly in Deadlocks grip, “This. Concentrates all of that weight into a single joint. Now technically, my shoulder can hold my entire weight but not at such a sharp angle to my body.”

Ratchet removed his arm and began to reposition Deadlocks hand to lay flat and palm up.

Ratchet pointed at Deadlock with an accusatory finger. “Rule Number One: Always fucking ask for permission first!”

Ratchet turned and sat on his hand, scooting backwards until his back rested against Drifts thumb. “If you do need to lift a human, best option by far is just holding your hand steady and letting them climb on.”

Deadlock shifted his hand to more comfortably hold the medic. Ratchet was both squishier than he was expecting and more solid. The sensation kind of reminded him of a big warm gel packet. “I think I’m getting the picture. So what should I do if I don’t have time to ask or you can’t answer?”

Ratchet sighed and Deadlock could actually feel him deflate. His face twitched in barely restrained amusement. Ratchets face twitched in the exact opposite of amusement.

“Pick up humans around the center of mass as much as you can. Try not to pick them up by the limbs. Do not ever pick one up by the head or neck.”

Ratchet shuffled in his grip, and maneuvered Deadlocks fingers to wrap around his torso while keeping his arms free. “Now, very slowly. I want you to gently tighten your grip. Stop the second I tell you to. Got it kid?”

Deadlock’s processor glitched for a second. Logically, he understood what Ratchet was teaching him. How and why. But. He’d just hurt him. And not only had Ratchet put himself back into Deadlocks grip of his own volition. Ratchet was specifically putting himself in an even more vulnerable state then almost loosing a limb. Deadlock didn’t even feel a hint of fear in his field. All he could feel was Trust and Patience and Care, as if Deadlock was the one putting his literal life in someone else’s hands.

“Got it Ratch.” His vocalizer came out staticky.

Deadlock closed his grip at a glacial pace, there was much more give than he was expecting so it caught him off guard when Ratchet finally said “Stop.” Deadlock froze.

“This is about how far you can go before it gets uncomfortable.” Deadlock’s processor skipped again, because holy Primus that was almost no effort whatsoever. Good to know how close he came to maiming him yesterday.

“Start again.”

What?

“What?”

“There’s a lot of give between comfortable and painful. I want you to have a frame of reference for both. I’m going to stop you before anything gets damaged kid, trust me.”

Slowly, Deadlock increased his grip again. It took about another minute before Ratchet stopped him again.

He breathed out in a controlled wheeze, Deadlock could feel Ratchets pulse against his palm, only marginally faster then when they started. “And that’s the upper limit. Don’t do this shit unless you need to.”

Deadlock relaxed his grip and Ratchet slipped off his hand.

The medic took a minute to breath and roll his shoulders.

Then, Ratchet laid down on the ground.

“Okay. Final exam. I’m going to pretend to be unconscious and you’re going to pick me up.”

Deadlock actually did start laughing at that point. Starting as silent shaking and then slowly building into not-quite villainous cackling. There was just something so absurd about the situation that all the tension from the preceding day unraveled until Deadlock was also lying on the ground. Vents whining and vocalizer mostly static by the time he started to calm down again.

Ratchet had sat up and was calmly watching him. The only physical tell Deadlock could see was a faint twitch of Ratchets mouth resisting the urge to smile. But Ratchets field radiated Fondness.

“You supposed to make that noise?”

Deadlock reset his vocalizer, “Yeah, it’s just been a long time. Are you ready?” He said rising up on his elbows.

Ratchet flopped down again.

“You’ve got ten minutes and you aren’t allowed to drop me.”

Deadlock grinned like a menace, and wondered if he could talk Ratchet into any extra credit classes.

AHW THIS IS SO LYLHKGKGNH DEADLOCK COMPARING HUMAN BODY TO A GEL PACKET HE LP

[sp1geon]

i can’t stop thinking about fern

[noiivvern]

Cat sitting for my neighbor and it’s an elderly black cat named Oscar 🥺

[stanleys-drugs-and-hookers]

Ough tommyyy,,,,, . , ,

Au from @hlvr03-au

[ask-postcrash-curly]

Oh, yes?? Did he, now?? That is wonderful, darling!! I do wish I had been able to hear his excitement when he got through again, haha! My poor feather, he has always had such trouble keeping his head about him. But I do not doubt that soon he will be a natural at it, just like Mom and I! (And yourself, seemingly! Hah!)

You've no need to apologize, sweet pea. As I have said before, it is my job to worry, and I would not have it any other way. Now, then...! I will admit I do not find myself in front of the television particularly often— normally that was a "Kestrel and Mom" activity in our home! Unless it is something familiar to me I tend to find it terribly uninteresting. Written word, however...? Well! I find the idea to be quite...

...

Novel. Hah!

Now, let's see... Surely I have something somewhere that is... Hmm...

[She spends several minutes humming cheerily, occasionally pausing for odd intervals of time and interjecting with a "no, no" or "hmm." Finally, she stops with an "oh!"]

Aha! I had forgotten this one! Yes, yes, I believe this is perfect. I have not read it myself in so long! Not since Kestrel was so small! How appropriate. It is rather old, but I was always so fond of this story growing up...

"... The story of a mouse, a princess, some soup, and a spool of thread."

Do let me know if it isn't quite to your tastes, dear, I can always try to find something else. Anyone else who wishes to listen in is welcome! Heheh, it is almost like reading to the little ones again...

[She takes a moment. Clears her voice, enunciating now with more flair and affect.]

"The world is dark, and light is precious. Come closer, dear reader. You must trust me. I am telling you a story."

[She continues, reading the first chapter of... five Warbler Points to whoever can guess the book!]

Hah, yeah. For some reason whenever he greets me he almost always tells me who he is, like I can't recognize his voice. Or like anyone else calls me Sisyphus.

Right... Thank you. Really, huh? Well, to each their own.

Pfft! That's awful!

That's fine by me. I like the oldies. What's the book?

All right, but that's a pretty killer opening line. I'm into it. Hah. Probably won't say much while you're reading aside from responding to the voices, but I am listening, I promise. Thank you so much for doing this, by the way. I'm sure it'll take a while...

[ilovepippirrip]

sinces hes gonna be more important next season js know I was originally his biggest fan🌚

[pxrxmoore]

billy and tilly!! 😍🥺🥰

yeah 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i’m at dads rn but i have pics of them at home ill have to share 🥰💛

[ilovefredjones]

i need to become a morris dancer

[namelessprince]

WIWI JUST GOT RIPPED IN HALF?!??!?!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!?!

[rueclfer]

teen touya sneaking off to his best friend/crush’s house every time his dad is around, or is being especially dickish, and they just hang out. watching movies, ordering food, or even just sitting in silence together…

(🍓)

punching a hole in my wall rn

no words exchanged he just shows up at their window (which his bestie leaves unlocked for him) and they give him a hug or pat on the back as a "its okay youre here now" and touya sleeps it off in their bed and wakes up to dinner with his best friend's family bc they love him AAUGGHHHHHH

[caracello]

HI DEIMOS!!! here's a johnny valentines doodle because you're epic :3 (i do not know how to draw smoke with pixels IMFA;LKSJDF;ASJD) (- @/catseye-jasprr)

AAUUGHH AAUGGHHHHHH JOHNNYYYYYYYYYYY. HESSO CUTE TYSM JASPER T__TT awww awwwwww his gay little blush ohhhh i love him so much.

[doctorguilty]

My grandparents are bickering about laundry right outright my door aaugghhhhhh Also this is the 3rd load of laundry they've done today which is lovely b/c the washer n dryer are right outside my room and it's SO loud and having the dryer going for hours all day when there no ac down here is so 🥲 I caved last night and ordered a fan on Amazon that was used so it was more affordable, cause really like most of the time it's not unbearable down here but the dryer going for hours a day multiple times a week REALLY makes things oppressive it's a very noticeable difference it's like having the heat on. Augh I'm not happy today

[someones-here-for-sure]

I’ M LOSING MY MIND

AAUGGHHHHHH I NEED MY FRIENDS

I NEED A HUG FROM MY BEST FRIENDS BUT NEITHER OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE ARE IN HUG REACH

I NEED A FRIEND AND I NEED LOVE AND ATTENTION

I DON’T DESERVE IT AF ALL BUT IREALLY WOULD ENJOY IT

[fakevariety]

just finished infinity war aaugghhhhhh

[lousylemonseminar]

JOHMER GENDER DYSPHORIA COMIC JOHMER GENDER DYSPHORIA COMIC JOHMER GENDER DYSPHORIA COMIC ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

I yap about the (maybe?) angel that lives in my brain below cut now

Something about representing yourself through the gritty grossness of the human body while resenting the grossness of your original … I portray the guy with Gluttony

Blindly consuming because you know you want something but you don’t know how to get there without eating your way whole

All xe wants is for a body to be held in “I had no idea what I should’ve looked like for people to like me and I had no idea what I should’ve looked like for me to like me” Canon quote is crazy…

Despite xyr constant need for the red and the gore and the slime and the process of getting there So xey could love something to every inch Xyr love for the bleakness of hospitals and its cleanliness CAUSE AAUGGHH LINE FROM MY FRIENDS “CAUSE ITS THE CLEANEST HE’LL EVER BE”…….

Something about the constant dissociation from xyr childhood “I would’ve wanted to be a nice choir lady” “I’m sorry God for being a guy instead”

“I was a loud kid, always complaining about wings that suffocated nonexistent lungs” AAUGGHHHHHH XEYVE BEEN MISSING XYR ORGANS SINCE XEY WERE BORN……

Just the Xey would’ve been anything if it meant xey were held But no one can hold xem down here Xeyre in this stasis of chasing something without figuring out what xeyre chasing first

Xyr so so cold all of the time and the first time xeyve ever been hugged with the warmth of another angel Xey immediately get overwhelmed with the feelings xeyve been bleeding into viscera that xey go back to being visceral To throwing up everything xey can cause nothing holy has ever touched xem like that AUGGHHHHHHHH

AND XEY APOLOGIZE. CAUSE WHAT ELSE DO YOU SAY WHEN GOD GIVES YOU A BREAK

J standing for those who think they can never be holy again That damn themselves before they’ve done anything wrong AAAAAHHHHHHHH

This is incoherent but so is xyr thought process — xeyve had xyr first thought in centuries if that wasn’t apparent

[muffin-birdcr]

Still trying to figure out if i want to be on Team Pirates or Team Mermaids this Phestival AAUGGHHHHHH WHY ARE DECISISONS SO HARD RAAAHHHHHHHH RIPS MY SHIRT OFF