#actually ff IN GENERAL but mostly 7 and 9 which is my favorite

[wishing-stones]

In case anyone was wondering where I went

Here's your answer

[changethecircumstances]

Ao3 Ask Game

Thanks @koskela-knights I don't always do these just because I don't ever check if I've been @ ed but I saw this in the tags and figured it would be fun to do

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 194

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 4,744,015 I like to write very long stories typically lol

3. What fandoms do you write for? I write for really whatever I'm hyperfixating on at the moment. Currently that's Alan Wake, but I've written for the Alien series, Marvel and DC (mainly movies but often incorporating comic books characters of plots into them too), Resident Evil, Kingsman, Hannibal, Cobra Kai, Detroit Becomes Human, the list goes on lol. There's a lot

4. Top five fics by kudos Kid. - Eddie/Venom meet MCU Peter for a sort of uncle&nephew kind of relationship like a flower in bloom, how the ink flows over your skin - Ed/Stede modern AU from OFMD Just Another Day - a sequel to Kid. to wake from a life not worth living, is to be born into something new. - Eddie/Richie AU after IT Chapter 2 movie where Eddie survies It Was Never About Jealousy - Detroit Become Human AU where Gavin and Elijah are half siblings and are dealing with a lot of unresolved trauma post good ending of the game

5. Do you respond to comments? Usually. Sometimes I forget and sometimes I worry about spamming people with 'Thank yous' when I can't think of anything else to say, especially on repeat commentors, but in general yes

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Honestly, my angstiest would be one of my first fics on Fanfiction.net (i have 75 works over there with a few of the later ones having been ported over to Ao3, but definitely not all of them). Are You Coming For Me? was a Lestrade/Mycroft story where Lestrade got kidnapped. It ended with Lestrade being rescued but he was blind and had been tortured and it basically just ended there lol because I didn't know what I was doing at the time. I've written much darker stories since then, but they typically have some form of happy ending after all the darkness, even if it's a twisted happy ending. In that regard, Break Me Slowly, a Gavin/RK900 fic inspired by Hannibal might be my darkest. It has a happy ending. Just one of the characters is basically stockholm syndromed into it lol

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Mistletoe, a modern Pacific Rim AU about Yancey/Chuck around the holidays. It's mostly just fluff and I enjoyed writing it so much I actually rewrote it. It's mostly the same story with slightly different versions and I'd say better writing in the second version

8. Do you get hate on fics? Very rarely. I got some hate for my OFMD fics, but most of the hate I've gotten in the Uncharted fandom which is sad because it's one of my favorites, and one of my favorite games of all times. I will say I got so much hate on one story in Uncharted that I stopped working on school work for about a month and literally just focused on writing that fic. The irritation of hate mail spurred me to write that one as long and as quickly as possible lol

9. Do you write smut? Occasionally. It depends on what the story calls for. Though even in fics that I've intended as just smutty one-offs, I usually can't help but add more plot. And there's been things intended as smutty that end up having almost no smut because I get so invested in the plot

10. Craziest crossover? I don't write many crossover stories anymore. I was a big Superwholock person so I wrote for that (though all those stories are on FF not Ao3). Otherwise, my crossovers are typically within the same group, like my Alan Wake fics involving elements of Control or all the crossover fics where Saw characters interact with characters from Jigsaw and Spiral to try and bridge the gap between those films. Nothing too crazy though

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? On Amazon, yeah. One of my Alien fics was being sold for like .25 cents or something on Kindle

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yep! Several to Russian and I think one to Chinese

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Technically yes, but they don't have Ao3 accounts so it's always just been put under my username

14. All time favourite ship? Hannibal/Will is one of my all-times. I haven't written for Hannibal in a long time, but that fandom will always be special to me and I love rewatching the series and movies. William/Zeke from Spiral are another big one. I really like the fucked up ships lol with lots of moral quandaries

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? He Fell Hard; I Fell Harder - Jason/Salim from the House of Ashes video game. I've tried going back to it several times but it's largely a fluffy fic with only a few moments of real conflict and I just don't do well with fluff. It's very hard for me to write something fluffy if something horrific or heart breaking isn't going to immediately follow lol

16. What are your writing strengths? I'd say creating large, compelling AUs and worlds. Some of them I've even toyed with making into original stories because just how AU they are compared to the original source material

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Endings. I struggle with endings and a lot of times by the time I get to the ending of a longer fic, I've lost a lot of motivation to write. Again, it's the conflict that I really love to write so once things start to get resolved and end, I struggle

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I've done it a few times for characters that I think require it and it would make sense for them to speak their native language over English. It's definitely difficult though and I try to limit it so it's less likely I'll fuck up a translation. Sometimes to avoid that or if I can't figure out a decent translation, I'll state a character is speaking in their own language rather than writing direct dialogue, if that makes sense

19. First fandom you wrote in? BBC Sherlock Holmes all the way back in 2011 (that fic is on FF) The writing is so bad in it haha

20. Favorite fic you've written? There's a few. My Death Stranding fic, You're the Hero, I'm really proud of just because it's the longest, most expansive fic I've ever written at over 180,000 words. Dancing to the Pain, a Walking Dead crossover with the TV show and the Telltale games, is another favorite because it was unfinished for so long but I did finally get around to writing the last few chapters in it. Even if it took like a year.

My most recent one I'm proud of would be Constant Acceleration Wrapped in Poetry, Darling/Zane modern AU fic from Alan Wake that dealt with a lot of serious issues like grief and survivor's guilt and addiction that I just think I handled really well and in a hopefully satisfying way for the reader

I tag @alphawave-writes, @hoffmanstits-enjoyer, @ratty9boy& just anyone who might want to do this if they haven't already

[thesteadydietofeverything]

Top 10 Games of 2019

This was an extremely good year for games. I don’t know if I played as many that will stick with me as I did last year, but the ones on the bottom half of this list in particular constitute some of my favorite games of the decade, and probably all-time. If I’ve got a gaming-related resolution for next year, it’s to put my playtime into supporting even smaller indie devs. My absolute favorite experiences in games this year came from seemingly out of nowhere games from teams I’ve previously never heard of before. That said, there are some big games coming up in spring I doubt I’ll be able to keep myself away from. Some quick notes/shoutouts before I get started:

-The game I put maybe the most time into this year was Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn. I finally made the plunge into neverending FF MMO content, and I’m as happy as I am overwhelmed. This was a big year for the game, between the release of the Shadowbringers expansion and the Nier: Automata raid, and it very well may have made it onto my list if I had managed to actually get to any of it. At the time of this writing, though, I’ve only just finished 2015’s Heavensward, so I’ve got...a long way to go. 

-One quick shoutout to the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy that came out on Switch this year, a remaster of some DS classics I never played. An absolutely delightful visual novel series that I fell in love with throughout this year.

-I originally included a couple games currently in early access that I’ve enjoyed immensely. I removed them not because of arbitrary rules about what technically “came out” this year, but just to make room for some other games I liked, out of the assumption that I’ll still love these games in their 1.0 formats when they’re released next year to include them on my 2020 list. So shoutout to Hades, probably the best rogue-like/lite/whatever I’ve ever played, and Spin Rhythm XD, which reignited my love for rhythm games.

-Disco Elysium isn’t on this list, because I’ve played about an hour of it and haven’t yet been hooked by it. But I’ve heard enough about it to be convinced that it is 1000% a game for me and something I need to get to immediately. They shouted out Marx and Engels at the Game Awards! They look so cool! I want to be their friend! And hopefully, a few weeks from now, I’ll desperately want to redact this list to squeeze this game somewhere in here.

Alright, he’s the actual list:

10. Amid Evil

The 90’s FPS renaissance continues! As opposed to last year’s Dusk, a game I adored, this one takes its cues less from Quake and more from Heretic/Hexen, placing a greater emphasis on melee combat and magic-fuelled projectiles than more traditional weapons. Also, rather than that game’s intentionally ugly aesthetic, this one opts for graphics that at times feel lush, detailed, and pretty, while still probably mostly fitting the description of lo-fi. In fact, they just added RTX to the game, something I’m extremely curious to check out. This game continued to fuel my excitement about the possibilities of embracing out-of-style gameplay mechanics to discover new and fresh possibilities from a genre I’ve never been able to stop yearning for more of.

9. Ape Out

If this were a “coolest games” list, Ape Out would win it, easily. It’s a simple game whose mechanics don’t particularly evolve throughout the course of its handful of hours, but it leaves a hell of an impression with its minimalist cut-out graphics, stylish title cards, and percussive soundtrack. Smashing guards into each other and walls and causing them to shoot each other in a mad-dash for the exit is a fun as hell take on Hotline Miami-esque top down hyper violence, even if it’s a thin enough concept that it starts to feel a bit old before the end of the game.

8. Fire Emblem: Three Houses

I had a lot of problems with this game, probably most stemming from just how damn long it is - I still haven’t finished my first, and likely only, playthrough. This length seems to have motivated the developers to make battles more simple and easy, and to be fair, I would get frustrated if I were getting stuck on individual battles if I couldn’t stop thinking about how much longer I have to go, but as it is, I’ve just found them to be mostly boring. This is particularly problematic for a game that seems to require you to play through it at least...three times to really get the full picture? I couldn’t help but admire everything this game got right, though, and that mostly comes down to building a massive cast of extremely well realized and likable characters whose complex relationships with each other and with the structures they pledge loyalty to fuels harrowing drama once the plot really sets into motion. There’s a reason no other game inspired such a deluge of memes and fan fiction and art into my Twitter feed this year. It’s an impressive feat to convince every player they’ve unquestionably picked the right house and defend their problem children till the bitter end. After the success of this game, I’d love to see what this team can do next with a narrower focus and a bigger budget.

7. Resident Evil 2

It’s been a long time since I played the original Resident Evil 2, but I still consider it to be one of my favorite games of all time. I was highly skeptical of this remake at first, holding my stubborn ground that changing the fixed camera to a RE4-style behind the back perspective would turn this game more into an action game and less of a survival horror game where feeling a lack of control is part of the experience. I was pleasantly surprised to find how much they were able to modernize this game while maintaining its original feel and atmosphere. The fumbly, drifting aim-down sights effectively sell the feeling of being a rookie scared out of your wits. Being chased by Mr. X is wildly anxiety-inducing. But even more surprisingly, perhaps the greatest upgrade this game received was its map, which does you the generous service of actually marking down automatically where puzzles and items are, which rooms you’ve yet to enter, which ones you’ve searched entirely, and which ones still have more to discover. Arguably, this disrupts the feeling of being lost in a labyrinthine space that the original inspired, but in practice, it’s a remarkably satisfying and addicting video game system to engage with.

6. Judgment

No big surprise here - Ryu ga Gotoku put out another Yakuza-style game set in Kamurocho, and once again, it’s sitting somewhere on my top 10. This time, they finally put Kazuma Kiryu’s story to bed and focused on a new protagonist, down on his luck lawyer-turned-detective Takayuki Yagami. The new direction doesn’t always pay off - the added mechanics of following and chasing suspects gets a bit tedious. The game makes up for it, though, by absolutely nailing a fun, engrossing J-Drama of a plot entirely divorced from the Yakuza lore. The narrative takes several head-spinning turns through its several dozen hours, and they all feel earned, with a fresh sense of focus. The side stories in this one do even more to make you feel connected to the community of Kamurocho by befriending people from across the neighborhood. I’d love to see this team take even bigger swings in the future - and from what I’ve seen from Yakuza 7, that seems exactly like what they’re doing - but even if this game shares maybe a bit too much DNA with its predecessors, it’s hard to complain when the writing and acting are this enjoyable.

5. Control

Control feels like the kind of game that almost never gets made anymore. It’s a AAA game that isn’t connected to any larger franchises and doesn’t demand your attention for longer than a dozen hours. It doesn’t shoehorn needless RPG or MMO mechanics into its third-person action game formula to hold your attention. It introduces a wildly clever idea, tells a concise story with it, and then its over. And there’s something so refreshing about all of that. The setting of The Oldest House has a lot to do with it. I think it stands toe-to-toe with Rapture or Black Mesa as an instantly iconic game world. Its aesthetic blend of paranormal horror and banal government bureaucracy gripped my inner X-Files fan instantly, and kept him satisfied not only with its central characters and mystery but with a generous bounty of redacted documents full of worldbuilding both spine-tingling and hilarious. More will undoubtedly come from this game, in the form of DLC and possibly even more, with the way it ties itself into other Remedy universes, and as much as I expect I will love it, the refreshing experience this base game offered me likely can’t be beat.

4. Anodyne 2

I awaited Sean Han Tani and Marina Kittaka’s new game more anxiously than almost any game that came out this year, despite never having played the first one, exclusively on my love for last year’s singular All Our Asias and the promise that this game would greatly expand on that one’s Saturn/PS1-esque early 3D graphics and personal, heartfelt storytelling. Not only was I not disappointed, I was regularly pleasantly surprised by the depth of narrative and themes the game navigates. This game takes the ‘legendary hero’ tropes of a Zelda game and flips them to tell a story about the importance of community and taking care of loved ones over duty to governments or organizations. The dungeons that similarly reflect a Link to the Past-era Zelda game reduce the maps to bite-sized, funny, clever designs that ask you to internalize unique mechanics that result in affecting conclusions. Plus, it’s gorgeously idiosyncratic in its blend of 3D and 2D environments and its pretty but off-kilter score. It’s hard to believe something this full and well realized came from two people. 

3. Eliza

Eliza is a work of dystopian fiction so closely resembling the state of the world in 2019 it’s hard to even want to call it sci-fi. As a proxy for the Eliza app, you speak the words of an AI therapist that offers meager, generic suggestions as a catch-all for desperate people facing any number of the nightmares of our time. The first session you get is a man reckoning with the state the world is in - we’ve only got a few more years left to save ourselves from impending climate crisis, destructive development is rendering cities unlivable for anyone but the super-rich, and the people who hold all the power are just making it all worse. The only thing you offer to him is to use a meditation app and take some medication. It doesn’t take long for you to realize that this whole structure is much less about helping struggling people and more about mining personal data.

There’s much more to this story than the grim state of mental health under late capitalism, though. It’s revealed that Evelyn, the character you play as, has a much closer history with Eliza than initially evident. Throughout the game, she’ll reacquaint herself with old coworkers, including her two former bosses who have recently split and run different companies over their differing frightening visions for the future. The game offers a biting critique of the kind of tech company optimism that brings rich, eccentric men to believe they can solve the world’s problems within the hyper-capitalist structure they’ve thrived under, and how quickly this mindset gives way to techno-fascism. There’s also Evelyn’s former team member, Nora, who has quit the tech world in favor of being a DJ “activist,” and her current lead Rae, a compassionate person who genuinely believes in the power of Eliza to better people’s lives. The writing does an excellent job of justifying everyone’s points of view and highlighting the limits of their ideology without simplifying their sense of morality.

Why this game works so well isn’t just its willingness to stare in the face of uncomfortably relevant subject matter, but its ultimately empathetic message. It offers no simple solutions to the world’s problems, but also avoids falling into utter despair. Instead, it places measured but inspiring faith in the power of making small, meaningful impacts on the people around you, and simply trying to put some good into your world. It’s a game both terrifying and comforting in its frank conclusions.

2. Death Stranding

For a game as willfully dumb as this one often is - that, for example, insists on giving all of its characters with self-explanatory names long monologues about how they got that name - Death Stranding was one of the most thought provoking games I’ve played in a while. Outside of its indulgent, awkwardly paced narrative, the game offers plenty of reflection on the impact the internet has had on our lives. As Sam Porter Bridges, you’re hiking across a post-apocalyptic America, reconnecting isolated cities by delivering supplies, building infrastructure, and, probably most importantly, connecting them to the Chiral Network, an internet of sorts constructed of supernatural material of nebulous origin. Through this structure, the game offers surprisingly insightful commentary about the necessity for communication, cooperation, and genuine love and care within a community.

The lonely world you’re tasked to explore, and the way you’re given blips of encouragement within the solitude through the structures and “likes” you give and receive through the game’s asynchronous multiplayer system, offers some striking parallels for those of us particularly “online” people who feel simultaneous desperation for human contact and aversion to social pressures. I’ve heard the themes of this game described as “incoherent” due to the way it seems to view the internet both as a powerful tool to connect people and a means by which people become isolated and alienated, but are both of these statements not completely true to reality? The game simplifies some of its conclusions - Kojima seems particularly ignorant of America’s deep structural inequities and abuses that lead to a culture of isolation and alienation. And yet, the questions it asks are provocative enough that they compelled me to keep thinking about them far longer than the answers it offers.

Beyond the surprisingly rich thematic content, this game is mostly just a joy to play. Death Stranding builds kinetic drama out of the typically rote parts of games. Moving from point A to point B has become an increasingly tedious chore in the majority of AAA open world games, but this is a game built almost entirely out of moving from point A to point B, and it makes it thrilling. The simple act of walking down a hill while trying to balance a heavy load on your back and avoiding rocks and other obstacles fulfills the promise of the term ‘walking simulator’ in a far more interesting way than most games given that descriptor. The game consistently doles out new ways to navigate terrain, which peaked for me about two thirds of the way through the game when, after spending hours setting up a network of zip lines, a delivery offered me the opportunity to utilize the entire thing in a wildly satisfying journey from one end of the map to another. It was the gaming moment of the year.

1. Outer Wilds

The first time the sun exploded in my Outer Wilds playthrough, I was probably about to die anyway. I had fallen through a black hole, and had yet to figure out how to recover from that, so I was drifting listlessly through space with diminishing oxygen as the synths started to pick up and I watched the sun fall in on itself and then expand throughout the solar system as my vision went went. The moment gave me chills, not because I wasn’t already doomed anyway, but because I couldn’t help but think about my neighbors that I had left behind to explore space. I hadn’t known that mere minutes after I left the atmosphere the solar system would be obliterated, but I was at least able to watch as it happened. They probably had no idea what happened. Suddenly their lives and their planet and everything they had known were just...gone. And then I woke up, with the campfire burning in front of me, and everyone looking just as I had left it. And I became obsessed with figuring out how to stop that from happening again. 

What surprised me is that every time the sun exploded, it never failed to produce those chills I felt the first time. This game is masterful in its art, sound, and music design that manages to produce feelings so intense from an aesthetic so quaint. Tracking down fellow explorers by following the sound of their harmonica or acoustic guitar. Exploring space in a rickety vessel held together by wood and tape. Translating logs of conversations of an ancient alien race and finding the subject matter of discussion to be about small interpersonal drama as often as it is revelatory secrets of the universe. All of the potentially twee aspects of the game are balanced out by an innate sense of danger and terror that comes from exploring space and strange worlds alone. At times, the game dips into pure horror, making other aspects of the presentation all the more charming by comparison. And then there’s the clockwork machinations of the 22-minute loop you explore within, rewarding exploration and experimentation with reveals that make you feel like a genius for figuring out the puzzle at the same time that you’re stunned by the divulgence of a new piece of information.

The last few hours of the game contained a couple puzzles so obfuscated that I had to consult a guide, which admittedly lessened the impact of those reveals, but it all led to one of the most equally devastating and satisfying endings I’ve experienced in a video game recently. I really can’t say enough good things about this game. It’s not only my favorite game this year, but easily one of my favorite games of the decade, and really, of all-time, when it comes down to it.

[baby-come-bach]

All writing asks!

Oh daaaamn! Thanks, bro!! @brynhildr13 !!!!

In response to this post!

1. What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)?

~Normally I try to do everything on my laptop in Zoho’s Notebook app. I seriously love the app, and there’s a desktop and mobile version that will sync so if you’re on the go you can still edit your notes! If I’m ever stuck I’ll hand write in a paper notebook and that usually works really well for me.

2. When did you start writing?

~I started writing back in the third grade, when I wrote and illustrated a comic series called The Evil Substitute Teacher from Mars! Obviously it was of a third grade quality and I had no intentions of being a writer at that point, but it was the first time I seriously flexed my skills even though it was just for fun!

I started writing fanfiction in my freshman year of high school.

3. What is your favorite thing to write?

~I love to write stories that take characters through intense emotional journeys. I absolutely love quality character development when you can track it from beginning to end.

4. Fluff or angst?

~Angst. I have little to no interest in writing a love story or love encounters as the primary plot. It’s hard to emulate the kinds of emotions people feel during those encounters when I’ve had minimal experience.

5. How would you describe your style?

~Hmmm . . . I would say . . . healthily balanced between pragmatics and prose. I try to make things as literal as I can when there’s action happening, but when I describe character’s emotions I literally love to pour on the cheese.

6. Where do you usually find inspiration?

~In general, for overall fanfic concepts I’ll find it in the source material, in a detail that wasn’t well-expanded. For specific ideas within a story, and for specific language to describe something I’ll borrow from both the source material and other writers in canon-based fics.

7. Do you listen to music to help you write?

~Hell yes.

8. What’s the biggest “challenge” for you as a writer?

~I love to write and I mainly write for myself - meaning I write the stories that I would want to read. But it’s extremely easy to fall into the “Nobody else will want to read this/Nobody is reading this = it must be bad and I’m a terrible writer” mindset. Surprisingly, that hits me harder than comparing myself to other writers. I understand and embrace that my style is different and the way I tell stories is unique. I actually really love how I write in comparison.  I also struggle with pacing.

9. Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)?

~When I’m at home, my bedroom. However, occasional changes in scenery do wonders for my inspiration, so I also love public libraries. When it’s very late at night (and it usually is because I’m a night owl to begin with and I work two jobs), I love to go to Denny’s. The people at my local Denny’s know me by name and I have the same server almost every time. They let me sit there for hours and hours (and if I do stay, I always leave a gigantic tip).

10. Can you give us a sneak peek of your current WIP?

~We’re mid-fight scene and this is unedited (I’m just really self-conscious lmao). It’s from my Dissidia fanfic, A Petal Among Thorns:

“’Cosmos's assassins!’ the Emperor sneered. He laughed, calling his staff from its resting place next to the throne. "I'm glad you could make it!" Removing Cloud first would be the most important thing. That, and deflecting Terra's magic. Cloud lifted his sword behind his head and slashed it down, and an arc of power careened off the blade towards him. The Emperor slammed the end of his staff into the ground and called a cluster of purple mines in its path. The Blade Beam collided with the mines and they detonated on contact in a cloud of smoke, the sound booming through Pandaemonium.”

11. How many stories have you written so far?

~18, though not all are complete.

12. What’s your favorite thing you ever wrote?

~In the first version of A Petal Among Thorns, I wrote a giant fight scene between a goddess and her warriors. It was intense and epic, and really maximized my skills at the time, and I loved every second of it.

13. How many chapters does your longest series have?

~Well, the new and improved version of A Petal Among Thorns has 45 posted chapters at 171k words, and I’m working on 46. The original Petal, which I finished, ended with 64 and had 108k words. Both are my longest so far. the most words, though, is Horrible Bosses with just under 200k.

14. What’s my favorite character/person to write for?

~This is so tough. But I think the Emperor for A Petal Among Thorns. He’s a classic kind of “Muahahaha” villain and I absolutely love getting into that evil headspace.

15. “OCs” or “Reader” inserts?

~If it’s an either/or question, then I say OCs. But nothing against Reader inserts. I love those, too. If it’s a do I read or write them question, then not really. I did one back when I was in high school. But I do read them and I support writers who do. There’s no such thing as cringe culture anymore so don’t let any elitists make you feel shitty for writing them.

16. Can you tell us anything about your current WIP?

~Sure. I’ve got four major ones:

1. A Petal Among Thorns (Dissidia Final Fantasy) - Cosmos just sent a group to take care of the Emperor since he’s been plaguing her and her warriors, but they’re caught unprepared when they realize he’s been secretly amassing power.

2. The Krypt (Mortal Kombat) - The group just found Master Hasashi and Kenshi, two out of the whole group they’ve been looking for. Their next order of business is to escape the spider caves, but it won’t be so easy.

3. Legends Yet (Final Fantasy XII) - Balthier and Fran are preparing to infiltrate the Archadian Palace to go after a special item. Little do they know the palace is more prepared than they thought.

4. This is My Punishment (Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus) - The Turks go looking for Vincent after he fails to report in. They confront Dr. Hojo about it, but he’s smug and disinterested.

17. How long was the longest fic you ever wrote?

~The longest COMPLETE story I ever wrote was the original A Petal Among Thorns with 64 chapters at 108k words. The longest INCOMPLETE story I have right now is the rewrite of A Petal Among Thorns with 46 chapters at 171k words. The most words I ever wrote was Horrible Bosses at just under 200k but with only 15 chapters.

18. What fandoms do you write for?

~Final Fantasy and Mortal Kombat and Hetalia are pretty much it right now, but a variety of FFs! I have written for Assassin’s Creed too, and Voltron, and I did one very self-indulgent Black Butler self-insert.

19. What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors?

~Poisonous Panda on AO3 (she used to have a tumblr but she deactivated for some reason), and Jaydee Grey on ff.net

20. Have you ever written an AU?

~No. All my stories take place in the actual world and parameters of canon. Although, I guess Petal could be considered one, since Rosa was never called to the cycles in any Dissidia game except Opera Omnia . . . ?

21. What’s your favorite AU trope?

~I don’t know if I have one. I read them but they’re not my go-to. I usually stick to canon stuff first.

22. A fanfiction cliché you can’t help but love?

~Hmmmm . . . I think descriptions of eyes. Not like, the word ‘orbs’ or anything, but the use of gemstones to describe color. I love the aesthetics associated with gemstones and their luster and how they shine, so if someone has “emerald green” eyes, or “amber” eyes, “crystalline blue”, etc. It makes me understand that their characters’ eyes are aglow with something, that they have character or passions or an ideas.

23. For how long have you been a fandom writer?

~I started my freshman year of high school, so . . . 10 years?

24. Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it?

~No, I usually write stuff down right away. But as I develop my stories they rarely stay along the path enough to end up using the idea. Either the plot point is too out in left field now, or the characters are too far along in their journeys to make it work in-character.

25. What do you do to motivate yourself to write?

~Motivation? I don’t know her. 

In all seriousness, I have ZERO self-control, so I can’t bribe myself. I mostly use my own desire to see my stories finished, plus nice comments and reviews from users on AO3 and ff.net. They’re so few and far between that a single one can make my entire day.

26. How did you find out you like to write?

~I’ve always enjoyed telling stories, from the third grade up! Making my own comics, and novelizing games I used to play, like Pac-Man World 2! I sort of never stopped, but WHAT I wrote matured as I grew older and joined fandom.

27. Are there any writers (fanfiction writers or not) that have inspired you to start writing?

~No, I was writing in general before I knew what fanfiction even was. But what inspired me to start writing fanfiction in particular was reading a Dissidia fic on ff.net by the name of Slash and Burn, that hasn’t updated since 2011. Reading that fic made me realize that the stories and scenarios I was coming up with surrounding these characters I loved could be transcribed and posted, and that other people were doing it too! I simply started writing down what I already was imagining for these characters outside of the events that happened in their games.

28. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

~Final Fantasy, hands down!

29. Describe your style in three words.

1. Balanced

2. Introspective

3. Natural

30. What would you say is the most ‘famous’ fic you’ve ever written?

~Definitely The Krypt for Mortal Kombat on AO3. Writing for an active fandom is vastly, vastly different than writing for an older, stale one. The Krypt has the most comments and shares. On ff.net, it’s Horrible Bosses.

31. Blurbs or drabbles?

~Drabbles. Flesh it out more! I wanna be more immersed in whatever this is!

32. Have you ever written smut?

~I have written ONE SINGLE SHEEPISH scene in chapter 13 of Horrible Bosses. It was my very first attempt at smut and it is god-awful. Go check it out on AO3 if you want (and can withstand the second-hand embarrassment!)

33. How long does it usually take for you to write?

~LMAO that depends entirely on if I can get started for the day. If I can start and I can stay focused, I’ll easily write 3,000 words in one sitting. If I can start but I’m not focused I can usually still grind out anywhere between 100 - 500 or so words. But I’ll go days without touching Notebook if I can’t even get started.

34. What’s your favorite font to use when writing?

~I don’t put much stock in fonts but the one I’m using now on Notebook is Montserrat. I will change it every so often if I want something new though. Changes in scenery help my focus most times.

35. Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics?

~Longer definitely. Shorter fics are easier but I love the challenges associated with aligning plot points with character development, as well as pacing.

36. how do you keep yourself inspired?

~My love for the fandoms I’m writing for usually does it. I love these universes and characters so much that I want to spend more time with them and watch them grow and change in ways that are or aren’t necessarily spelled out in canon. That, and the idea that since I’m writing stories I would want to read, then I’m the only one who can tell this story in my own way, so it has to be me.

37. Have you ever written something you didn’t like but posted anyway?

~Hell yeah. It be like that sometimes. Sometimes you stare and stare at a chapter and you absolutely hate it but you can’t figure out why and eventually you get pissed and say, “Fuck it, i have to post this to move on,” and you do. Specific examples for me are a few chapters in the new Petal.

38. What is your “strong suit” as a writer?

~I pride myself on my characterizations, to be honest. I feel like I have a good sense of who these characters are based on canon, and I can translate their reactions well to situations that test them.

39. What’s your favorite trope?

~I actually really, really love when characters are injured or slipping physically or emotionally, but they keep it to themselves for the sake of others. It can be for any reason - they don’t want to be a bother, they think they should be strong enough to handle it, etc.

40. How many likes do your fics usually get?

~Depends. The most I’ve gotten on anything was ~70 follows/favorites for Horrible Bosses on ff.net, and 128 kudos on The Krypt on AO3. Those are outliers, for the most part. My more popular fandom fics float around 20 - 40 kudos, my smaller fandom fics float around 5-10. The mean average for AO3 kudos across all my fics is 32, and the mean average for ff.net favorites is 14.

41. Have you ever used a prompt?

~No. it’s very, very hard for me to imagine characters into scenarios that I didn’t myself come up with?? I’m not sure why.

42. What is your weakness as a writer?

~Pacing.

43. Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you wrote?

~Yes, I cried when I wrote the aftermath of the large battle I talked about earlier, between Cosmos and her warriors in the first version of A Petal Among Thorns.

44. Have you ever done a collab with another writer?

~No, I’m too self-conscious.

45. One thing you love about fanfiction.

~I love how it allows fans to expand upon these worlds and universes that were created for us. I love how it allows us to demonstrate our love by interpreting things that were either not touched or not expanded upon in canon. It also allows me to express myself in a healthy and creative way.

46.  What’s your favorite emotion to cause on your readers?

~Nothing makes a person sexier than physical pain. But I also love anger and regret.

47. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

~See above. Writing fanfiction is another way that I express my love for something that matters so much to me, which are these pieces of media I write for. It also gives my daydreams purpose and doesn’t make me feel like I have to bottle them up!

48. Do you post your writing in any other platforms?

~Yep! AO3, ff.net! I’m Keyblader41996 on both.

49. What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)?

~I’ve got notes all over! I’ve got some in Notepad on my Mac, and I have some in Notebook by Zoho on their site and app, I have some in my paper notebooks, I have some in my college textbook margins and notebooks, etc. My favorite to use is Zoho’s Notebook.

50. One thing you don’t like about fanfiction.

~Thinly veiled, arbitrary and unnecessary bullshit that is masqueraded as “constructive criticism” when I didn’t ask for it, and when it’s easier for the commenter to just, idk, LEAVE THE FUCKING FIC?!?!?!!??!?!?! Rather than spend ALL that time just to be shitty???????????? get away from me.

51. Least favorite trope?

~I dislike time travel.

52. Favorite words to use when writing?

~I love facial descriptions and body language: He crossed his arms. Her eyebrows furrowed. She winked coyly. His fists balled at his sides, trembling. She jumped, clapping her hands enthusiastically. etc.

53. Least favorite words?

~I hate describing clothes and bodies/figures. Hate it.

54. Do you usually like what you write?

~It depends. I cycle through different phases. (1) This is great. (2) Oh god, what the fuck??? is this??? (3) I can’t even look at this, it’s so bad. *Stops writing for days* (4) Wait, why did I hate this so much? It’s a great starting point! (5) Edit (6) YESSS YESSSSSS YASSSSS!!!!!!!! (7) Post

I can start at any one of those numbers and go from there but it’s always in that order no matter where I start.

Thanks so much for asking me these!! I love them!!!

[onekisstotakewithme]

I was tagged by the amazing dear @minikate--24-05

The last

1. drink: ginger ale 2. phone call: to my grandfather (I think??) 3. text message: “I don’t think so dude” 4. song you listened to: Beauty and the Beast (the original) by Angela Lansbury 5. time you cried: Uh a few days ago when I was watching Fantasia 2000, and they had the Noah’s Ark segment set to Pomp & Circumstance, for some reason I cried embarrassingly hard while watching that...

Have you ever 6. dated someone twice: I’ve never dated anyone 7. kissed someone and regretted it: no (never been kissed) 8. been cheated on: not technically, there was a bad situation, but... I don’t think it technically can be called cheating. 9. lost someone special: a lot of people. 10. been depressed: all the time. 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nope (alcohol is vile)  3 favorite colors 12. green 13. purple 14. blue In the last year have you: 15. made new friends: yes! I made new friends on here (so many, I’ve been very lucky) and a bunch of new friends at school too, but they were mostly in the year below me so I have to leave them this year :( 16. fallen out of love: yes, and I’m better off because of it. 17. laughed until you cried: yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: yes, my school friends gossip incessantly. 19. met someone who changed you: Yes. And one such person is the one who tagged me in this, @minikate--24-05 20. found out who your friends are: yes 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope. General: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them (sadly) but I’m planning on narrowing down my friends list. 23. do you have any pets: We have had several hamsters, all dead, and I’m considering buying myself fish for uni. 24. do you want to change your name: no, for the most part, I like being called Alexandra. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: my friend got our entire french class to sing “happy birthday” to me, we had a free period (I think?) and then I had a dinner with family- oh wait, no that’s not true. I also had a party with a bunch of school friends, where we had a water gun fight, roasted s’mores and talked by the fire until after 1:00 AM. It was a blessing. 26. what time did you wake up: 10-ish? I had an alarm set, but was awake before it went off. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: reading 28. name something you can’t wait for: NCIS s15 premiere and McLilah’s baby! 31. what are you listening to right now: My Disney playlist (once again trying to get in the mood to write disney scenes) 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: maybe? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: I am stressed about starting uni in the fall, about getting my wisdom teeth out, current world events, and NCIS season 15 (which is stupid, but much of my happiness rests on that show)  34. most visited website: Tumblr and FF/Ao3 35. hair colour: brown 36. long or short hair: long 39. piercings: I got my ears pierced when I was eleven, and then got a second piercing in both ears when I was sixteen. 40. blood type: A positive 41. nicknames: frog friend, Susan, Patricia, (friend used to call me) Probie, A, and “twin peanut” ;-)  42. relationship status: single 43. zodiac: gemini 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: do I have to pick one? Different shows have been important at different parts in my life... so I am going to list them ALL: Downton Abbey, Lost, NCIS, Modern Family and M*A*S*H (if there’s any more I’ve forgotten, I love them anyway) 46. tattoos: @itbloomedforyourlittlegirl showed me a design for a rose growing out of a coffee cup (kibbs anyone?) and now I kind of want it, and I don’t have any yet, but Ive also considering something related to Disney/writing/being bi.

47. right or left handed: left 48. surgery: as an infant, to have a blood clot removed from my leg.

49. piercing: double piercing in ears.

50. sport: I played basketball from age 7-14 and then quit to focus on school, but loved the aggression of playing... I’ve always wanted to play baseball, but was never able to. 51. vacation: I know I just went but Disney!... Paris, Scotland, England... Amsterdam. 52. pair of trainers: A pair of Reeboks I use when on my feet frequently (I don’t wear them often) More general: 53. eating: crunchy peanut butter on whole wheat toast (it was my lunch) 54. drinking: ginger ale 55. i’m about to: surf tumblr incessantly, write and then go start organizing my things for uni- just kidding! I’m going to write, fangirl and get nothing done in that order. 56. waiting for: NCIS Premier. 57. want: ta safer world, to become a better writer, to find love. 58. get married: hopefully! Someday. 59. career: law/policing... in an ideal world my answer would be writing. Which is better: 60. hugs or kisses: HUGS 61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: I am short, so I guess taller?

63. older or younger: all of my ships have an older person, so older. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: who knows. neither. 65. hook up or relationship: relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: for me, hesitant

Have you ever: 67. kissed a stranger: no 68. drank hard liquor: yes 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I have dropped/lost contact lenses before, and once I sat on my glasses and broke a lens.  70. turned someone down: yes, there was no chemistry. 71. sex on the first date: no. not for me. 72. broken someone’s heart: Not that I know of. 73. had your heart broken: oh GOD yes. 74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: yes. 76. fallen for a friend: unfortunately more than once.

Do you believe in: 77. yourself: not really 78. miracles: maybe? 79. love at first sight: I think so? 80. santa claus: yes 81. kiss on the first date: potentially. 82. angels: I do not think so. Other: 83. current best friend’s name: Andrea, Sara, Jamie, Amanda. 84. eye colour: hazel! 85. favourite movie: I have too many to count so I will say: Disney, Studio Ghibli, The Princess Bride. Anything else, I’d have to start actually listing.

I tag whoever wants to do this. Go wild y’all. And enjoy this terrible amount of personal information.

[hidemefromtheworldd]

fine you do the thing to, fuckin fite me

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?Yes I do and I have for a very long time.

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?No? I thought I was at one point, but not really now.

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?Two years? I think. 

4: Have you ever changed for someone?I probably have, I’m not sure?

5: How is your relationship with your ex?It depends on which ex we’re talking about tbh.

6: Have you ever been cheated on?Yep.

7: Have you ever cheated?Unfrotunately.

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?Mmm, depends on how close I feel and how much I trust them.

9: What's the most important part of a relationship?Trust and mutual respect.

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?Serious relationships for sure.

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?Nah not really, if you think you need a break you probably need to either sit and talk it out or just break up.

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?I’ve never “hooked up” with anyone??

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?CHEATING. I WILL FOREVER REGRET THAT. x.x

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?I mean I’d be pretty hypocritical to answer this, even though I don’t exactly count foreplay as sex, but I’d say best probably like 15-16 ish

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?To a point? I guess, but also not really.

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?Not really. Attraction, desire, even chemistry maybe but no. 

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?I do.

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?I... don’t really know? I mean abuse of any kind I guess would be the main thing.

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?Honestly? I don’t really know how to answer this because it’s been different every time I’ve ended them.

20: Are you currently in a relationship?;w;

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?I mean I’m friends with at least two of my exes?

22: Do you think people should date their friends?Oh hell yeah. If you’re that attracted to and interested in your friends then yes. 

23: How many relationships have you had?More than I care to think about.

24: Do you think love can last forever?done right absolutely.

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?Not exactly? It can help, but no I don’t think it’s enough to conquer it by itself.

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?No. No I would not. 

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?Don’t fucking cheat on people it’s shitty and you will NEVER forgive yourself.

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?I do.

29: What do you notice first about another person?I guess mostly I’ll notice smiles, eyes, laughs, voices, stuff like that.

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?Pansexual.

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?My dude I suffer from them fuck no it wouldn’t.

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?I think I have tbh?

33: Do you want to get married one day?Maybe one day.

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?Honestly? I’m going to be completely, 100% honest and say no, probably not. It Shouldn’t be a big deal, but even as a virgin I am HIGHLY sexual and it just...I don’t think it would end well.

36: Are you still a virgin?Yes.

37: What's more important: Looks or personality?Personality

38: Do you enjoy love films?Eeehhh depends. 

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?I haven’t on either front.

40: Have you ever had a valentine?Feh, I don’t think so? I don’t remember actually. 

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?I don’t? Really know tbh. 

42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?I haven’t no.

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?Honestly this is a lot more complicated than it’s given. It depends on the situation, but generally if someone is going to MAKE me choose, friends.

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?Yes. Unfortunately. 

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?...-will smith hands-

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?Fuck the Friendzone concept and ANYONE who enforces it.

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite???? Idfk my dude. 

48: What's your favorite love song?I .... honestly can’t think of a love song rn?

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?Yes, I’m certain I have.

50: If you're single, why do you think you are?Because I love people I can’t be with and also I’m a shitty af person and a hermit?

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?Poor but nice. I’ve dated the rich douchebag. Not gonna happen again.

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships???? Maybe ? ? i don’t know

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?Y E S.

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)?Not terrible important? But I like doing it.

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?Clingy and overly attached yes, I can be jealous but I don’t usually let that get to things?

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?I don’t really know.

57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?No. My cousin actually did commit suicide over a broken heart, I don’t think it’s SILLY. I think it’s sad

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?Submissive definitely.

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?I don’t believe so?

60: What's your opinion on open relationships?Ehhh if they work for you? I’m less about open and more into polyfidelity. 

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?Atm? Partner because my family’s been pissing me off.

62: How do you define "cheating"?Being unfaithful, lying about getting with another person, crossing lines when it comes to another person being involved in your relationship (or hooking up with someone NOT involved in your relationship.) 

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?Fuck no? Why would it be? I mean shit dude if you need to get off but they’re not available then get off ffs.

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?I am salty as all hell about Valentines day but if I was in a relationship I’d probably wanna make SOMETHING out of it so...

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?I am yes, though I haven’t done it in a very long time. :c