#actually lemme send an ask

[j-crow]

how've you been lately dawg 🤔🤔

in the trenches /j

yapping you didnt ask for incoming:

surprising from what you might think of me but ive been really good lately!!

i love the retj fandom but that shit got so miserable and overwhelming and convoluted that i just. gave up on trying to go back. im much happier staying off discord :D

actually i needed a reason to rant about this but oh my god??? i literally NEVER used to be that upset all the time pre-retj discord server. like the version of me in your head is probably SO inaccurate to how i actually am because i am NEVER that upset all the time

like yeah i get really upset sometimes but when i had discord??? WHY WAS I SO SUICIDAL?????

so the conclusion that ive come up with is that discord literally gave me mental illnesses and like. yeah that makes sense actually 😭😭

besides that ive been good besides the constant appearance of a wlw situationship in my life 😞😞

also dont if you ever noticed but i had a crush on your ex 💀💀 (tbf there were some EXTREMELY mixed signals imo) we’re not talking anymore tho

uhhh ive gotten new interests (house md my beloved <33 stupid fucking gay doctors) and read a terrifying amount of fanfiction (probably over 100 fics read the past 2 months not including the 100k+ one im reading rn???? dont bully me pls i know im chronically online 💔💔)

ive been trying to draw more as well but i suck ass at human anatomy and have ultimately decided to just draw animals for the rest of my life atp

also ive been playing the new pokemon tcg game and my entire coding class is literally obsessed with it 😭😭 (me flexing)

also been playing pokerogue!! its fun but i get unreasonably angry when my pokemon die 😭😭

ANYWAYS HOUSE MD!!!!!!!! medical malpractice show 10/10 would recommend watching‼️‼️ ive gotten so many spoilers because my short attention span cant handle more than two episodes a day and im stuck on season one 😭😭

WILSON!!!!!! my definitely gay husband who looks way too fondly at his best friend of ten years to be straight and has had three divorces (canon btw) exploding him with my mind 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

still obsessed with birds as you might be able to tell 😭😭 blog name actually comes from a piece of art your ex gave to me (gatekeeping sorry) it said “the c in jc stands for crow” and i ran with it

thats u btw /j (thats an australasian swamphen chick also known as a pukeko chick!!! look them up theyre terrifying)

personally one of my favorite photos of them

anyways i still like hamilton and epic the musical surprisingly and i think i can almost recite the entirety of nonstop and the room where it happens (so impressive i know)

and retj my beloved and beloathed </33 so terribly detrimental for my health but im glad i went through that shit tbh

also crazy that its almost christmas??? its christmas eve wtf i forgot

im also working on a 3d animation project with some friends!!! its due sometime in february and im praying i get into nationals for the competition 🙏🙏 i have a backup if the animation fails horribly but my friends dont so!!!! gotta work hard so we all can go to florida and do some tomfoolery

thats about it i think???? unless you want to hear about my school life for whatever reason (im happy to yap about coding but dont ask me about anything else 😭😭)

hope you’ve been well dude!! :D

found this deep in my camera roll 😭😭

[mimikip-stuff]

Since the Bendy fandom seems to be resurfacing, should I make a Skunk sideblog?

Would people actually enjoy that?

Yes or no in the comments

[arttitude130]

How are you feeling about potentially more Hakuri moments starting next week now that she's back out of her coma

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

but the chapter to watch out for is when hakuri and iori meet. i will become the most annoying person on the planet. unfollow me now

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

Dude ur probably the best person to ask for help from. Im trying to write a card for my gf for (late) mothers day (i call her mommy haha) and i have zero ideas what tf im supposed to write (i lack in the brain department a bit)

oh! um... i have never written anyone a card... uhhhhh

something a lil like this... but idk what ur relationship is like so take it with a grain of salt...

Hey mommy dearest,

Thank you so much for being the best mommy in the whole world and giving me lots of orgasms!!! Thanks for letting me call you mommy, and for always making me horny whenever I see your perfect, wonderful face. You're truly the light of my life, my wonderful mommy, and I look forward to many more years (and orgasms) with you!!

Luv,

ur baby

[ladyseidr]

suddenly in desperate need of writing more gold.en fre.ddy, including:

GF and the Puppet interactions ( specifically with cassidy in control because fkdsfkdslfhskal )

GF interacting with SB muses. no it doesn't make sense because i personally think she's still holding william ( and the others ) hostage in his own personal hell ( until princess qu.est if you believe that's abt cassidy. i'm undecided ). who cares, AU time—

cassidy seeing van.ny and literally being like "what the FUCK another one???"

more of cassidy harassing night guards. mike, jeremy, phone g.uy, it doesn't matter. she has a right. a duty even.

anything with evan in control. particularly interactions w/ mike ( ouch ouch ouch ) but anything really

movie verse but either with Mike-Forgot-His-Memories stuff or cassidy ( still using that name, it can be gender neutral and also cassidy is beyond gender anyway ) as vane.ssa's sibling theory

light-hearted stuff, or i mean, as light-hearted as you can get with GF. please try to make cassidy just have fun for once. it probably won't work but i'll laugh.

stuff where cassidy and evan are struggling for control / equally in control and it's abundantly obvious to your muse

interacting with the other haunted animatronics, regardless of whether they get along. cassidy vc: aren't you tired of being nice. don't you just want to go apeshit <- in the middle of a birthday party

try to get cassidy to move on. i dare you.

potentially some pre-death stuff with cassidy or evan ( esp cassidy )??

[itsahotminuteinbetween]

pfft-

[fukounaboy]

[:

:]

[gummybyte]

Omgeeeee

I feel like I should do smth special for this 😭😭😭omgeeeomngegeeeouygusghGGGDSGHEVSKHG

tysm all of you

[k423s]

What is the name of the wlw donghua? I’ve been looking for stuff like this, my pining sapphic heart needs respite

风灵玉秀!! in eng it’s called soulmate adventure (sometimes sunflowers). first season is up on bilibili’s youtube channel for free! and it has subtitles in both chinese and english :)

[dont-open-dead-inside-net]

🌞✨☄️

Aw, thank you! I feel the same way about you ♥

[trojancoconut]

Nix, for the asks: red, blue, smoke! :3 🧡

see now I feel silly for not putting the smoke part in the one I sent you.

anyway anyway Y E S stargazing adventure let's GO that sounds like so much fun!!!

[traumaone]

Keys

pairing: Michael Robinavitch x Senior Resident!Reader

wordcount: 1.2k

warnings: age gap (late 20s and late 40s), sorta established relationship

synopsis: Robby misses you, but lucky for him, you just so happened to leave your keys on his desk after your shift last night (or, you come by to pick up your keys and Robby feels you up in the ambulance bay)

masterlist

!! not proofread so apologies for any mistakes !!

Are my keys on your desk? 

It’s the first Robby actually hears from you all day.

You responded with nothing more than a thumbs up to his message this morning, sending a clear message that you did not plan to be very reachable today.

Robby knows exactly where your keys are. They’d been the first thing he’d noticed this morning, your clunky collection of keychains somehow strewn across his keyboard. He snaps a photo of them before texting you back.

*image attached* These keys?

Your response is immediate.

Yes!!! Are we horrendously crowded today or can I come grab them from you??

Robby ignores the way his chest clenches at the thought of seeing you, even if it’s just so you can get your keys.

Never too crowded for you 

You thumbs down his message.

Kiss ass See you soon :p

Robby smiles at his phone, the kind of smile only you seem to be able to pull from him, the kind that makes his cheeks ache. He tucks your keys into his pocket for safe measure, not just to keep them safe but to guarantee you can’t slip in and grab them when he’s not there to see you.

“What’s got you so smiley?”

Dana leans over the edge of his desk, not so subtly trying to peer at the screen of his phone. Robby is quick to lock his screen, dropping his phone back into the pocket of his cargos.

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

Not subtle at all.

“Lemme guess…” Dana gives him a knowing smile, tapping her finger on her chin in mock concentration. “Does it have something to do with a certain senior resident who is absent from our ED today?”

Bingo, but Robby keeps his features schooled, the epitome of professionalism. “Don’t you have work to be doing, or something?”

“Ooh, so touchy.” Dana laughs. “But since you asked, Myrna was looking for you.”

Robby groans, a little dramatic, but he could’ve gone at least another hour without hearing the words fruit cake. He clings to the knowledge that you’ll be walking through the doors of the ED within the next hour.

He’s in the middle of charting when Lupe buzzes you in, glasses sitting low on the bridge of his nose as he squints at the screen.

“You’re gonna get a headache if you keep doing that, old man.” Despite the tease, there's nothing but fondness in your tone.

Robby looks up, stunned by the sight of you looking so not doctor-like, so domestic.

Freshly washed hair pulled back, rogue strands falling out to frame your gorgeous face in a way that drives him absolutely crazy. A baggy hoodie hangs from your shoulders, an embroidered patch with the name of your school that’s fraying around the edges plastered on your chest. And Jesus Christ your shorts. He’d never seen you in them for obvious reasons, cut well above the mid-line of your thigh, showcasing a pair of legs so fantastic Robby’s sure he’ll be dreaming about them for weeks.

“Y’know the glasses are there to help you see, right?” You lean against the edge of the counter, propping your chin up on your elbow as you gaze at him with a smile that can only be described as smitten. “Not just to sit there and make you look pretty while you frown over them.”

“You’re really going to poke fun at the guy who’s holding on to your keys right now?” Robby asks, leaning forward so the two of you are only inches apart. “I might just hold onto them, make you sit around and wait till my shift’s over to get them back.”

You catch onto his ploy instantly. “You like me so much you can’t even spend one shift without me? I’m flattered, Robby.”

“You should be.” Abbott cuts in, tapping into the computer next to you to check a chart. “He mopes around like a kicked puppy when you’re not here.”

“A kicked puppy, huh?” You ask, turning to look at Robby with a glint in your eye that’s entirely too smug.

Robby shakes his head. “If you guys ever wondered why you’re not scheduled on the same shifts anymore, this is why.”

Abbott lets out a chuckle. “Whatever you say, fruitcake.”

He’s gone before Robby can get another word in.

“But on a serious note,” Robby focuses his attention back onto you. “Your shift been okay so far?”

He’s still not used to this, used to having someone who cares so much to hear what he has to say, what he’s feeling. Sure, Dana and Abbott had always offered him a shoulder, but with you it felt different, felt like you genuinely wanted to know every time, not like you were asking because you thought you should. 

“It’s been good.” He answers, and the words feel honest for the first time in a long time. “As good as it can be with Myrna here, anyway.”

That pulls a laugh from you. “I ran into her in chairs, she told me my ‘ass looks tight in those shorts, cupcake’.”

From what he’s seen, Robby’s inclined to agree with her. “Let me walk you out, I’ll give you your keys outside.” He needs you to himself for a moment.

Your brows pinch for a second but you nod. 

He follows you through the maze of desks and gurneys, lingering a few steps behind for a moment to get a proper look at you in those shorts. Yeah, Myrna was right.

By some stroke of luck the ambulance bay is currently unoccupied, and Robby takes full advantage of the privacy, pulling you against his chest with one swift tug. You laugh at him with a shake of your head, but your arms still wind around his neck. His hands find their home in the dip of your waist, savouring the heat that seeps through the fabric of your sweater.

“You sure you just brought me out here to give me my keys?” There’s a teasing tone in your voice, but Robby can see the way your eyes keep catching on his lips.

“Do you want me to just give you your keys?” He asks, leaning forward just enough for your noses to brush.

“... No.” 

Robby feels you lift up onto your toes to press a kiss against his lips. It’s not chaste or quick, the type of kiss he should be having at work. No, there's an urgency in the way your lips move against his, the way your hips press against his.

He takes advantage of your eagerness and lets one of his hands fall from your waist, his fingers finding purchase in the skin of your thigh right where your shorts end. You let out a noise of surprise that only spurs him further, his tongue slipping into your mouth for a brief second before you’re forced to pull back.

“I can hear a siren…” You whisper against his lips, your chest slightly heaving. “Which means I should probably get out of here.”

Robby nods, pressing one more kiss against your lips before fishing your keys out of his pocket. “Wait for me at my apartment tonight?”

You grab your keys from his hand. “Definitely.” 

With one last kiss, Robby watches as you wander back out into the streets of Pittsburgh, a pep in your step that you didn’t have a few moments ago. He bites back a smile, slipping back into the ER with a smile on his face right as an ambulance pulls into the bay.

[saatorus]

— freak like me ୨ৎ

based off of this post

wc — 2.8k

warnings — oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, genuinely just 2.8k words of filth bc i need satoru :3

Sometimes, you truly want to grab your husband by the shoulders and genuinely ask him what the hell is wrong with him.

In a purely cute, loving, wifey way, of course.

You had been lounging at home, listless but not tired, charged up but not in a productive way. The kind of restless where you start wiping already-clean counters just to burn energy. Or reorganizing your skincare drawer for the fourth time that week.

Your body felt hot under the skin, like something in you was coiled up and ready to snap. There was only one explanation for this kind of jittery, razor-sharp awareness running under your skin like a live wire. So, like any other normal person, you opened your period tracking app.

Yup. Ovulating.

Fantastic. That explained the horniness bordering on religious fervor. Everything in your body was screaming breed like it was written in your DNA. So, just like any other wife with the patience of a saint and the self-control of a demigod, you texted your husband Satoru at work.

You 12:47PM

hey u

quick q

Husband (derogatory) 12:48PM

answer is yes unless it’s illegal

You 12:48PM

r u busy or r u like pretend busy like usual

Husband (derogatory) 12:48PM

ur sounding like ur abt to ask me to pick up toilet paper and i hate that tone

what’s up

You 12:49PM

im ovulating

Husband (derogatory) 12:49PM

oh👀

ok. and?

You 12:49PM

so when u get home

ur not gonna get to say hi

or breathe

or take off ur shoes

i’m going to destroy you

like i actually might kill you with my pussy

Husband (derogatory) 12:50PM

😳

bold of u to assume i’d try to survive

You 12:50PM

bold of u to send me nothing spicy of u but be mean to me when u know i’m genuinely suffering and shit like omg

Husband (derogatory) 12:51PM

what do u want me to do??? send u a live feed of my cock at work???

do u want me to be on a list???

You 12:51PM

no but like

a lil thirst trap wouldn’t kill u

show me smth for the spank bank

Husband (derogatory) 12:52PM

u want a pic of my abs rn??

i got time

lemme hit my office for a sec

You 12:52PM

if u send me a pic right now i swear i’ll spontaneously combust

Husband (derogatory) 12:55PM

[1 image attached]

🥰

tell me i’m pretty

You 12:55PM

i hope u know this photo just signed ur death warrant

ur gonna be BURIED in me. like to the point where ur dick is like never getting out of me 

Husband (derogatory) 12:56PM

ok but like

worth it??

do i look hot

scale of 1 to rawdog me in the kitchen while the rice is still cooking

You 12:56PM

absolutely rawdog in the kitchen with zero regard for the rice

ur not even making it to the bedroom. my clit hard at dis 

Husband (derogatory) 12:57PM

god

i’m bricked up in front of principal yaga rn

i hope ur happy

You 12:57PM

good

suffer

consider it foreplay

You stared at the photo again. The audacity of this man to stand there with perfect abs, just barely flexed, pants sitting sinfully low on his hips like he knew the way your brain would short-circuit. The lighting in his office was stupidly flattering—somehow made his skin look so nice and delectable. Not to mention the veins going down to his cock?

You chewed on your lip, pacing the living room like a predator. There was simply no way you were surviving the next few hours. You even considered sending him a photo back—bait for bait, a little tit-for-tat—but decided against it. Let him suffer.

Let the anticipation kill him softly.

When he gets home? You’re not talking. You’re not greeting. You’re not doing anything except dragging him inside and absolutely sucking the soul out of the man you had ended up marrying.

–

It was exactly 6:02PM when you heard the door unlock.

Two minutes late. Not that you were keeping track or anything… except you definitely were, curled up on the couch in a barely-there pair of shorts and one of his old shirts with no bra underneath. Strategic slutty domesticity. A war tactic.

You didn’t even look up right away. Let the tension simmer. Let him walk in and realize what he’s just stepped into.

The door creaked open, followed by the soft jingle of his keys and the unmistakable shuffle of his slides hitting the entryway.

Then:

“I’m home—”

You were already standing in front of him before he could finish the sentence.

The look on his face was criminally satisfied. Like he knew he was walking into the lion’s den and brought himself as the offering. His blindfold was pooled around his neck– it was a habit for him to take it off at home. His white hair was a little tousled from the wind, and he had the audacity to be smiling.

“Hi, babe—”

You didn’t even let him finish his sentence. You fisted your hands in the front of his shirt and yanked him down into a kiss so hot it made your knees buckle. He groaned into your mouth, hands flying to your hips out of instinct.

“Jesus—” he panted against your lips, breath already shaky. “You weren’t joking.”

“I told you I was gonna ruin you,” you muttered, kissing down his jaw, “You think I just say things for fun?”

His laugh was breathless, cocky, but already crumbling. “You do, though.”

You reached between your bodies and palmed him through his pants. “Not today.”

Satoru hissed, bracing one hand against the wall. “Okay, wow. Hi. Hello. I see the demons are home.”

“You started it,” you said sweetly, unzipping his pants like you were opening a present. “Sending me that photo like I’m not clinically insane for you.”

“I was tryna be nice— shit—”

His sentence broke off into a groan as you sank to your knees right there in the hallway. He wasn’t even fully undressed, shirt still on, pants down just enough for you to get what you wanted. And what you wanted?

To suck his soul out like a Capri Sun.

You eagerly took him in your mouth, lips wrapping around him– absolutely no time for teasing– taking him as far as you could the moment he slipped into your mouth. You moaned at the taste of him, at the feeling of his prominent veins on your tongue, and the way that he just sat so hot and heavy in your mouth.

“Baby,” he rasped, one hand threading through your hair, the other gripping the wall so hard you swore it cracked a little. “Not— not even the bedroom?”

You hummed around him in response.

“Fuck—okay, okay—take everything. Take the whole paycheck.”

You didn’t let up—not even when his knees buckled, not when your nose repeatedly kept hitting the smattering of white hair above his base, not when his pink, throbbing tip kept hitting the back of your throat so good that your pussy felt like it was a puddle at this point, not when he was gasping out half-finished apologies to whatever god he believed in, not when he muttered something about filing for short-term disability because of "whatever the fuck this is."

He came so hard you were genuinely concerned for a second that his soul had actually left his body. Filled your throat with him, even. Like a capri sun. Man folded like an origami crane. Sagged against the wall with his shirt all rumpled, hair sticking to his forehead, and the most dazed, fucked-out look you’d ever seen on his stupidly pretty face.

You licked your lips and stood up slowly, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand like a villain in a K-drama. 

Satoru looked up at you like you were the Messiah and the apocalypse all in one.

“You’re insane,” he whispered, voice hoarse.

“You love it.”

“I do,” he breathed. “God, I really do. I’m in love with the devil.”

You cupped his cheeks and kissed him sweetly, gently, like you hadn’t just given him a religious experience with your mouth.

Then you whispered in his ear:

“Round two’s in the kitchen.”

He made a sound that was not human.

By the time he made it to the kitchen—pants back up but barely, shirt half-untucked like he just walked off a battlefield—he looked like he had one brain cell left, and it was begging for mercy.

You, however?

Unbothered. Glowing. A menace in tiny shorts and smug satisfaction.

You leaned against the counter, one leg crossed over the other, nursing a glass of water like you hadn’t just rearranged his internal organs. “I said round two in the kitchen,” you reminded him, sipping slowly. “You moving a little slow there, old man.”

He squinted at you, chest still rising and falling. “You’re trying to kill me.”

“Technically, I warned you.”

“You warned me via text,” he muttered, walking over with the exaggerated drag of a man heading into war. “There’s a difference between texting me you’re gonna ruin me and actually attempting a physical exorcism on my soul through my dick.”

You grinned. “Still had enough energy to come find me, though.”

“That’s because my penis is a traitor and doesn’t believe in self-preservation.”

“Your penis is smart. Your penis is loyal. Your penis knows who feeds it.”

You didn’t wait for a reply. You set the glass down with a click, reached for his collar, and pulled him in. “Bend me over the counter,” you whispered against his lips.

He choked.

Eyes wide. Pupils blown. Brain visibly buffering.

And then: obedience.

“I—yes. Okay. I mean—of course. Obviously.” He practically tossed your glass to the side and spun you around, hands already slipping under your shirt, finding your bare skin like he was made for it. His thumbs hooked underneath the waistband of your shorts, halting when he felt the smooth skin of your hip bones and not the waistband of your panties.

“Fuck,” he muttered, voice wrecked. “No panties?”

“I was planning ahead,” you said, bending slightly and bracing your hands against the counter.

“God, I love you so much it actually hurts.” He kissed down the back of your neck, worshipful. “You’re unreal.” He slipped down your shorts, and then his already halfway down pants, aligning his tip with your soaking entrance.

Then he slid into you with a groan so filthy it echoed off the cabinets. You gasped, arching, clenching around him instinctively, and heard him let out a shaky laugh.

“This is a setup,” he whispered, biting your shoulder. “I feel like you’re doing this to steal my powers. Like I’m not gonna be able to use infinity after this.”

You couldn’t even form a reply—your mouth was open, moaning, hands scrabbling for purchase. He wasn’t going slow. Not anymore. Whatever restraint he had left burned off the moment he was inside you. It was fast, deep, messy. The kind of fucking that blurred your vision and made your toes curl.

Satoru’s fingers dug into your hips as he pounded into you, saying all kinds of nonsense against your skin:

“Been thinking about you all goddamn day—” “—knew I was in trouble when you said ovulating—” “—you were serious about the soul thing, huh? gonna baptize me in pussy—”

You half-laughed, half-cried out as he hit a spot that made your legs shake.

He reached around to rub tight, dirty circles on your clit, whispering, “C’mon, baby, let go for me, lemme feel it, wanna feel you lose your mind—fuck, please—”

And you did—with a broken moan and a full-body tremble that had your knees buckling, your body locking up so tight around him that he swore out loud, dropped his forehead to your shoulder, and followed you over the edge with a deep, shaky groan that sounded like it came from the depths.

The kitchen went quiet except for your breathing. The rice cooker beeped once, like it had seen things.

You both just stood there, still connected, sweaty, wrecked, in the soft afterglow of holy sin.

“…do we have any electrolytes?” he asked weakly.

You giggled. “Top shelf. Pedialyte in the purple bottle.”

“You’re a menace,” he said, pulling out slowly with a wince. “I’m not even mad. I’m just scared.”

You turned to face him, cupping his face and giving him the sweetest kiss imaginable. “You’ll live.”

He blinked. “Will I? Are you sure? Like… can I put you on my life insurance as both the cause and beneficiary of death?” Satoru was still recovering—barely holding himself up against the counter, forehead pressed to the cool surface, chest heaving like he’d just run a marathon while holding his breath.

You, on the other hand, were just sitting on the counter next to him sipping water like a perfectly reasonable, not at all deranged wife. Ignore the fact that his cum was steadily drying on your thighs after dripping out once he pulled out.

“So,” you said casually, like you weren’t actively naked in your own kitchen. “You think the rice is done?”

“Baby,” he said, voice hoarse, muffled, like he didn’t trust himself to lift his head. “Please. I don’t even remember my own name.”

You leaned over and patted his ass. “That’s okay. You don’t need a name. You just need to sit up on that counter for me.”

He groaned. “I need food. I need air. I need—what did I even do to deserve this?”

“You sent me a thirst trap.”

“You literally asked me for it,” he whined, straightening up slowly, eyes glassy.

You pushed off the counter—with a slight wobble—and before he could get another sarcastic word out, you moved away from from the counter in the middle of the kitchen, boosting yourself up onto the counter right next to the stove, legs spread, voice sugar-sweet.

“C’mere.”

He blinked. “Oh my god. Are you gonna ride me next to the soy sauce?”

“Would you prefer the spice cabinet?”

He didn’t even hesitate. “Spice cabinet.”

—

Somehow, somehow, you ended up on the higher shelf. Not the safe little cozy edge of the island—no. You were straddling him on the counter in the corner by the window, legs draped around his thighs, knee bumping the pepper grinder, and he looked like he was going to have a nervous breakdown about how hot it was.

Satoru kissed you like a man possessed—hands on your thighs, holding you open for him, still too breathless from the last round to be cocky but desperate enough not to care.

“I don’t have anything left,” he whispered into your mouth. “You’ve drained me. I’m just a shell of a man now.”

“Then let me fill you back up,” you said, not even remotely sorry.

“Do you even hear yourself—holy shit—”

You’d sunk down onto him again, slow and deep, pulling a moan out of him so loud it had no business being that pretty. His head dropped to your shoulder as you started riding him, deliberately slow this time, grinding in small, agonizing circles.

“I’m gonna pass out,” he whispered. “You’re gonna have to call Shoko and be like, ‘Hi, I murdered my husband with pussy and now he’s trapped in the rice cooker, can you help me scrape him out?’”

You leaned in close, teeth grazing his ear.  “She’d say ‘finally.’”

His hands flew to your hips, grip bruising, and he started moving with you, fucking up into you like he’d found his second wind in the middle of his own funeral.

The countertop creaked under you. The spice jars rattled. A cinnamon container fell off the shelf at one point and he caught it one-handed without breaking rhythm, then threw it over his shoulder like an anime protagonist mid-battle.

“Why is this the best sex of my life—” he gasped, eyes wild.

“Because I’m ovulating and mad,” you panted, nails digging into his back. “Because you purposely sent me your cum-worthy abs.”

“So my ballsack is being drained because of some muscles on my abdomen?—”

“You don’t get it—”

And then you came together in the middle of the kitchen like two idiots in heat, clinging to each other, half-screaming into each other’s skin like the world was ending. Which, in a way, it was. Your knees were shaking. His hands wouldn’t stop twitching. 

The counter was definitely never going to recover.

And when it was over, when the both of you were breathless and sweaty and completely unhinged, he looked at you—kiss-bitten, flushed, utterly destroyed—and whispered:

“I don’t think I can eat rice ever again.”

being a virgin and ovulating is not for the weak 🙁🙁🙁

[alpali]

pt 2 of oikawa being a dork in love

After your small declaration of a truce. Oikawa acts like he’s won nationals.

You’re still mean to him. Which confuses him to no end but you enjoy it. You’re not hateful like before it’s just teasing.

“So does this mean I can finally take you on a date?”

“Absolutely not.”

“But why!”

It’s routine that you guys eat lunch together at the same spot you made up.

“Ooo your food looks good lemme try it.”

Swat!

“Hey!” He clutches his hand with a pout and you purse your lips.

“Don’t touch.”

“I need this hand to play you know!”

“I barely even touched you.”

“Kiss it.” He grins.

“Ew no!”

He’s wounded.

Oikawa helps you out with your studies that you’re struggling with. Often hosting study dates, as he loves to call them.

“I’m tired.” You groan out, sprawling your arms across the table, your cheek squished against the table.

Oikawa smiles, moving a stray piece of your hair behind your ear.

“We can take a little break.” He doesn’t miss the way your cheeks redden.

His routine still hasn’t changed. He still visits you before class but now he always brings your favorite drink with him.

“Here ya go pretty girl.” He places the can on your desk, ruffling your hair.

“My hair!” You narrow your eyes.

“Sh, it’s okay you’re still beautiful, look.”

He has a habit of taking pictures of you. Not in a creepy way, they’re mostly off guard so he can get back at you with your teasing. But also just because you really are beautiful. He knows he’s made it when he finds photos that you took of yourself and even of him when he’s left his phone unattended. Sending them to you and saying.

“You got my bad side :,(. Do better next time.” 

It takes him awhile to convince you to actually come to his games.

“Come on please! Prelims are coming up. I need you there.”

“I don’t think I could enjoy it with all your girls there.”

“Is someone jealous~”

“Oh please. As if all your attention isn’t focused on me anyways.”

“That’s my girl.” A dumb smirk lacing his features.

However he isn’t aware when you actually do decide to show up. Iwaizumi is actually the first to notice and honestly he’s not really excited for the Oikawa he’s about to put up with. Yet he tells him nevertheless.

With a nudge Iwaizumi is gesturing to the stands and Oikawa looks up, his water bottle gripped in his hand. You sit there and the both of you lock eyes. He visibly lights up and blinks, not believing his eyes. You honestly weren’t expecting to have that much of an impact on him but you can tell just how much it really does mean to him.

“She came!” Oikawa gushes, smiling up at you as you send him a small smile.

Iwaizumi is a little surprised at just how much Oikawa adores you. Guess he lost that bet with Shigeru. He’s attacking more during this game which confuses his teammates a little but they take the set and secure the win with ease. Once he finds you in the hallway, he’s jogging up to you.

“You actually came.” He says out of amusement.

“Just thought I’d check it out.”

“So how was it, seeing me in my natural habitat.”

“Pretty impressive, sadly.”

“Hey! All of those points were for you!” He sulks and you giggle.

Oikawa flushes, a genuine smile on his face. Out of pure adrenaline and love he has for you he kisses your head, pulling you straight into his sturdy chest.

“Thank you. Really.” He whispers, holding you a little tighter. You flush in his arms, gripping the ends of his jersey.

After that, he’s more persistent than before. He starts asking to hangout whenever he has any kind of free time. He just wants to be in your presence.

He’s over the moon when you agree to play volleyball with him. He’s teaching you how to set and when your form is wonky. He comes up behind you, placing his hands over yours he adjusts them.

“Then you just wanna let the ball touch your hands.”

When you actually get a decent set in, he cheers.

“I think I just fell in love with you all over again.”

“Be quiet.”

“Never! My perfect little setter.”

After a couple months you finally agree to let him take you on a date and he’s spoiling the hell out of you. He insists the two of you get matching keychains.

When he’s walking you home he’s so corny it makes you wanna laugh. The way he subtly tries to grab your hand. He opts to holding your pinkie instead. However this act has him STRESSING. You reach your doorstep and it’s obvious he doesn’t want you to go.

“Thanks for tonight…Toru.”

He’s deceased.

“T-Toru?!”

“Don’t make it weird!” You both are flustered now.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” You mutter but right before he steps away you plant a kiss on his cheek.

Hitting the nail on his coffin.

In a flash you’re gone, in the comfort of your house as he stands there recollecting what the hell just happened. His fingers slowly gracing his cheek as his whole world was just altered. He fist bumps the air, even skipping as he makes his way home.

“So are we gonna talk about yesterday?”

“no.”

“Will I be receiving more of those?”

“Depends, will you ask me out?”

“I think I’m gonna cry.”

“Never mind.”

“No wait! Come back!”

[tasiawrites]

"but I didn't shave" so what?

aot men + you happening to not have shaven. ft. eren, onya, connie, armin and reiner.

contains: smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), cunnilingus, fingering, pet names (dollface, mami, darling, mama/ma) onya slaps you on the thigh once. if I missed anything let me know

MDNI smut below

onyakapon

onya firmly believes grown men don't care about that and well, he's a grown man.

"wait, onya I didn't shave-" you tried to tell your boyfriend. instead, you got a slap on your thigh. "move your hand mamas" he said pushing away the hand you were using to try and cover your cunt. "but-" "Move it ma, I aint gonna tell you again." as soon as your hand moved onyakapon buried his face in your cunt. you gasped as he took a deep inhale before eating you out like he had been starving. his tongue ran all over your folds before he placed a few well-placed licks on your clit. two fingers made their way into your hole as he continued to make a mess of your clit until you were cumming on his face

"acting like I ain't a grown man, now turn over so I can make her cream again"

Armin

he did not spend his life studying biology for you to think that was going to deter him

"Armin I didn't shave" you tried to explain but the blonde-haired man didn't care. armin’s fingers found your clit and rubbed small circles into it. "I didn't either, that never stopped you from trying to swallow my cum now did it darling?" he asked teasingly as he slowly fingered your sopping cunt.

"That's different," you tried to protest but his fingers grazed that spot in you that made your eyes cross. "Min!" you squealed as he continued to abuse that spot in you. "see, not shaving aint stopping you from making a mess now is it darling?" he asked as you creamed around his fingers

eren

first of all, he's the one paying for your wax appointments. second of all, you finna tell that man he can't have some of his pussy? crazy cause that's not happening

"Ma I ain't playing these games with you" Eren growled into your ear. you got him hard, and sucked him off but would not let him fuck you because you didn't get waxed last week like you were supposed to.  "but it's hairy ren" you tried to argue. "Ma, I don't care, shit ill stop paying for that shit if this is how you acting," he rolled his eyes and sat you on his lap. his dick rubbed against your pussy and you whined. "you're making a mess baby," he teased angling his dick to hit your clit. "ren!" you moaned before lifting your hips so that the next thrust would send his dick straight into your cunt.

Connie

 you crazy if you thought that man gave a fuck in the first place.  

"mami, lemme see her," Connie said looking at you with big eyes. he lay his head on your thigh, the only thing between your pussy and his face being your already soaked through panties. "but I didn't shave con," you responded feeling embarrassed. "mama I do not care, shes pretty either way," he said pulling your panties off. you whined as he pressed a kiss on your mound. "pretty as ever mami," he whispered grabbing his phone and opening his camera. "keep your legs open so I can show you how pretty she looks mami"

Reiner

Another grown man. He actually expects it not to be shaven

“Dollface, you're gonna deny me perfectly good pussy because of something as silly as shaving?” he asked spreading your legs and pressing his hard-on right up to your clit. “I appreciate the thought but good pussy is good pussy with or without the bush,” he said grinding up against you. “But Rei, it's not pretty,” you whined. “I’m a grown man dollface, and a lil exploring never deterred a grown man before,” he said sliding your panties off. It didn't take long for him to bully his fat cock into your messy pussy. And by that time you had forgotten about the fact that you had shaven long ago, not that it would have ever mattered to Reiner. 

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i stopped writing other smut to write this, its unedited and idek whats going on. whats crazy is that armin is the love of my life and his was the shortest. n e way, tell me what yall think ill be writing the shit I put off writing

[thebluediner]

INTERVIEW HOTNESS/ HOTMESS

host! reader x guest! billie

explanation: it's like a video compilation of all the moments from the interview with reader but in words for y'all

"welcome to the hot ones show where we have an even hotter guest, Billie Eilish" you gesture your hands towards billie for the camera to follow.

"you think i'm hot ?" her brows arch in curiosity with a slight grin on her face.

"I think you're pipping hot" you confirm with slight aggression.

"so you wanna kiss " billie asks her shoulders shrugging with a big flirtatious smile.

"fuck yeah" you say leaning in-

#wing 1

you pick the cards with questions on them flipping through them for the right question to ask while eyeing billie.

"should I be scared ?" she asks with suspicion looking around at the cast behind the camera and back to you.

"not unless you have something so hide" you answer her looking at her hard like some detective from a kids show.

"bitch I'm a celebrity I try hiding everything" she bursts out laughing along with you for a couple of seconds before you both calm down.

"alright what something you've hidden from security when you go to events or boarding a plane" you ask her before setting the card down.

"uhm a vibrator, well vibrators cause there was a lot of them " she elaborates while trying her not to laugh.

"should've eaten that wing billie" you crack up in disbelief looking at the cast because they were also giggle behind the camera.

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#wing 2

"your question is a guest who smelt the foulest" billie who immediately takes out her "your turn " perfume and bangs it on the table.

you slightly flinch at the noise before looking closely at what it is. when you finally realise your eyes get bigger before clapping your hands.

"now that's some promo right there" you point at the product while billie waves it in the air.

"now tell us who it is so I can send it to them" she deapans before looking right at you with some pressure to answer.

"oh hell no I'm eating this wing and I'm keeping that for myself thank you very much" you say grabbing the perfume and eating the wing.

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#wing 3

"just eat the wing man i won't even bother asking the question" you surrender pushing the wing closer to her.

"no wait lemme see" she takes the card from you to read for herself. her eyes scan the paper reading what's written in the fine print before her jaw drops.

"you know what you were right" she places the card down and bites into the wing.

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#wing 4

"a celebrity you've hooked up while working with them on a project" the set members let's out little gasps.

"none but you could be the first" one of the set members hollers at your flirting making billie blush and hide it with her question card.

"oh my gosh girl get out" she says pointing to the door.

you who actually stands up and leaves the the set leaving billie in fits of laughter that you actually stood up and left.

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#wing 5

"bro now this wing is so hot it makes me wanna tell you all the people I've hooked up with" billie admits in the midst of drinking ice cold water to put out the spice on her tongue.

"oh don't expose us now" you joke catching billie off guard who then chokes on her water.

"oh my gosh billie don't die " you stand up from your seat to help her out while laughing a bit.

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#wing 6

"fuck my lips are so hot" you blubber picking up blocks of ice and putting them in your mouth.

"you do have hot lips " billie chimes in with a flirtatious smile.

since there is ice in your mouth you point at her mumbling something about how dare she flirts with you while you're suffering which only makes her laugh more.

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#wing 7

"you think if we kiss it'd burn less" billie asks panting with her tongue hanging out.

"that's not you speaking it's the spice right" you narrow your eyes in suspicion.

"I don't know wanna find out" billie leans forward.

"Billie Eilish Baird O'Connell!" you scream backing up because of being flustered.

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#wing 8

" I need to dip my lips in something to ease down the pain of the spice" billie says looking around the table for literally anything even a napkin at this point.

"I know something " your brow arches in mischief.

"oh yeah wh- bro get out! " billie finally catches up to your dirty joke.

"don't act like you wouldn't say that too" you try defending yourself while you double back laughing.

"actually yeah I would " billie admits shaking her head.