#additional g&r content

[what-if-i-just-did]

Being friends with Jake means you get a free older brother who has no moral qualms about beating people up if they mess with you

Being friends with Noah-Elise means you get free milkshakes and slushies from her fathers' bar

Being friends with Amber means you'll always have black nail polish

Being friends with Ravonna means you'll probably end up getting physically fitter

What are some benefits of being friends with your OC?

[beeschmee]

all part of the colonel's plan

⊹ ࣪ ˖ word count: 7.5k

⊹ ࣪ ˖ p a i r i ng: farspace fleet colonel caleb x mc

⊹ ࣪ ˖ summary: your mission was simple: sneak into skyhaven and escape with the final aether core fragment, right under the farspace fleet's nose. you weren't prepared to fall right into a trap created by the fleet's new colonel.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ t a g s: mdni, explicit sexual content, fem! reader, jealous! caleb, unprotected sex, light bondage, dry humping, orgasm denial, inappropriate use of evol, biting, pet names, cunnilingus, p in v, breeding, light praise

⊹ ࣪ ˖ n o t e: hii guys! the brainrot for this man is unreal, and i just needed to write something, so i hope you enjoy~ not proofread so enjoy the chaos! thanks for reading 𖹭 ao3. banner: me. dividers: cred

When you accepted the mission to search for a lead on the aether core, you hadn’t expected it to be easy. Skyhaven was new territory for you and your information on the Farspace Fleet was few and far in-between. Yet, when you ran into that frazzled cadet, it was like candy falling into your lap.

Her uniform was snug against your body as you flattened out any wrinkles that appeared during the change. The girl barely could barely thank you before darting off into an alley. You couldn’t help but laugh a little. You saw your fair share of scared recruits during your time in the academy.

Placing the uniform cap on your head, you take a deep breath before heading towards the crime scene tape on the other side of the street. The smell of ash and burning wood fill your nostrils as you get closer to the decimated property. A similar memory flashes in your mind, threatening to pull you back below its depth, but you push forward. Now cannot be the time to falter.

You stop in front of a commanding officer and salute them, waiting for their nod before ducking under the tape. The breath you were holding loosens from your lungs as you approach the remains of the house in front of you. You refuse to let your eyes linger on the charred front patio, pulling your cap further down your head to block your view of it as you pass.

Focusing on the task at hand, you head towards the backyard. Near the pool, you can sense something pulling you to the bushes. The feeling is faint but unmistakable.

You nod to fellow cadets and officers as you pass. The air is filled with chatter and commands thrown around, causing further chaos, as the fleet is trying to balance an investigation and the return of their Colonel at the same time. The distraction is much appreciated.

You crouch before the bushes, reaching into the vines to search for the presence pulling you in. Thorns scrape against the exposed flesh of your wrist, drawing tiny pinpoints of blood to the surface. You wince as you lean further in, grasping at air. The further you look for this presence, the less you feel it. A frustrated sigh escapes from your lips.

“Is there a problem, Cadet?” A masculine voice speaks up behind you.

You jolt to your feet, ignoring the pain of the thorns trying to hold onto you. The man in front of you is older, probably in his late 40s, and is looking at you with all the contempt in the world.

“No, sir.” You shake your head, then gesture to the bush behind you. “I was looking for any additional evidence that may have been blown back by the explosion.”

The man doesn’t even blink as he stares down at you. You bite your tongue to stop you from rambling off useless lies. He doesn’t trust you, that much you can tell. Yet, he simply nods his head after a few more seconds of silence.

“Carry on, Cadet. This area needs to be cleared within the hour. It’s set to rain soon.”

You swiftly nod your head, holding onto the cap so it doesn’t fly off. The officer scoffs at the notion and walks away, immediately yelling similar orders to the other officials by the house. Once you feel comfortable that he won’t turn back around, you continue your search amongst the foliage. The presence from before is faint, almost nonexistent, and the fear of failure starts to creep along the edges of your mind.

Bending your knees into a squat, you close your eyes and take a deep breath. Even if the aether core isn’t here, it’s close by. It has to be.

Opening your eyes, you reach your hand out to part the branches to look further into the bushes. You’re leaning forward to examine the area when a blunt force slams into the back of your head. The air rushes from your lungs and a ringing drills into your ears before darkness takes over.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Memories of gentle laughter and playful fighting war against the sounds of crashing waves as you wave in and out of consciousness. The world feels as though it is spinning. Your head is splitting apart, pain rippling from the back of your skull to your temples. As you come to, your head refuses to lift up, the muscles in your neck sore and locked in place.

It takes an unreasonable amount of strength to pry your eyes open. Even with the little amount of light in the room, you can’t help but squint against the pain. Everything is blurry no matter how much you blink. You try to reach up and rub your eyes, but your hands won’t move. They can’t move.

You’re cuffed to the chair you’re in.

Panic quickly starts to creep in as you take in your situation. You wiggle your feet, only to find them just as restrained as your hands. Pulling your hands against the metal band holding you down, you flinch at the persistent stinging from the cuts on your wrist. A whimper escapes through your clenched teeth as your wrist jams against the restraint, unable to squeeze through.

Somewhere behind the chair, you hear a door open. Your body stiffens as the realization of your situation sets in. You’re trapped.

“I’d be careful. You don’t want to break those slender wrists, would you?” A voice from behind you asks.

In your semi-conscious state, something about that voice prickles the hairs on the back of your neck. Despite the person’s warning, you continue struggling against the metal bands, trying to figure out a trick to get out. Heavy footsteps echo throughout the dark room, leisurely approaching you.

“Persistent as always,” the voice mutters, your ears barely catching the words.

One more useless tug and you resign from the meaningless action. You’re thoroughly stuck. It doesn’t help that your head feels like a ton of bricks and then some. The tension of your position is surely causing knots to form all along your shoulder and back.

The person takes another 10 steps, you count. There’s silence for a long moment and then the sound of a heavy fabric bristling. The feeling of warm air on the side of your cheek causes you to flinch, jerking away from the sudden sensation. They let out a seemingly exasperated sigh before the warmth leaves you, their body pulling back.

“I’d say that I’m surprised to find a traitor in our midst.” The voice states louder. “But, I made it so easy for you. I’m almost disappointed by how easy you fell for my trap. I mean, come on. Wasn’t that incident almost too familiar?”

The ringing in your ear fades away as you focus on the voice now positioned in front of you. A voice that has your heart lurching into your throat, threatening to spill out. It can’t be.

The footsteps resume and you listen to how they reposition behind you. Their warmth radiates on your back. They’re too close.

Suddenly, two leathered hands run over your shoulder toward your neck. You try to yank away from their touch, but they have you caged in. Something cold slides against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine as it circles your throat. Click.

“A perfect fit.” The voice is quiet, as if they’re talking to themself.

There’s a boyish lilt to the deep voice that causes an ache in your chest. Your brain is arguing with what your heart realizes all too fast. Memories of that same voice, but lighter and more carefree, echo in your mind. Your hands clench against the armrests, trying to grind yourself to reality. A corpse can’t speak.

One of the hands leaves your neck, lightly tracing a path down to your shoulder before dropping away. The other lets the metal band rest against the base of your neck before wrapping your throat. The leather material is rough against your skin. Your body breaks out into a cold sweat as it tightens ever so slightly against your windpipe.

Slowly, your head is being pulled up. Pain pulses across your skull to your spine as the person behind you straightens your posture. Their thumb and index finger move up slightly until they’re pushing up your jaw, forcing your head up.

You try to take in the room as your position changes, but your gaze halts at the view in front of you. Across the room is a glass wall. You stare back at yourself in the one-way glass as your vision clears up. Whether it be fear or denial, you almost want to beg the hand to let you go, to let your chin fall back against your chest, so that you don’t have to look.

But, you were always a curious one.

Your eyes adjust to the darkness and take in the sight of the hand wrapped around your throat. It tightens just a little bit more, restricting your airway enough to make your brain feel fuzzy.

“You always did like to make me wait, pipsqueak.”

With that damning admission, your pulse rages against his fingers. Your eyes flick up to the reflection of the person, the world freezing around you.

A dead man stands behind you. His finger taps against your pulse as he smiles at you. Never losing eye contact, he leans down until his lips are grazing the shell of your right ear.

“Did you miss me?” Goosebumps raise all over your body.

“Caleb.” Your voice is raspy and the sounds get stuck in your throat, threatening to choke you.

“The one and only.” He presses a light kiss to your temple.

He doesn’t say anything else. He doesn’t explain how he’s standing in front of you. Your world as you know it is cracking and crashing around you, and he’s just there. Tears spring up faster than you can force them away. They pool in the corners of your eyes, blurring your vision of the living ghost behind you.

Caleb steps back around, clicking his tongue in disapproval as he wipes the tears from your eyes. You flinch at how cold his hands are; the sensation shocking you. “Now, now, pips. I expected a big hug from you when I imagined this moment.”

His words betray his actions as he crouches in front of you, his hands tracing the skin around the restraints. He doesn’t move to release you from them. A laugh bubbles up and escapes your lips as you take in this foreign version of your best friend. Gone is the childish Caleb you knew so well. This man may look like him, but the energy around him is suffocating. Harsh lines decorate his face and his smile doesn’t reach his dim purple eyes.

“Hard to hug a dead man when you’re chained to a chair.”

His thumb digs into your wrist for a brief moment, the pain jolting up your arm. He shakes his head.

“I see you haven’t lost that attitude of yours, princess.” The pet name drips off his tongue condescendingly. “That’s okay. It’s to be expected since I’ve been gone for so long. There was no one around to work it out of you. But, I’m here now.”

“And how are you here, exactly?” You lean forward, sneering at the man. “Last I checked, you should be 6 feet under in Linkon Cemetery.”

“I know it’s all confusing now, and I don’t expect you to understand. Not yet. But, aren’t you happy? Your “big brother” is back.”

You spit in his face. His facade drops ever so slightly. Reaching up, his thumb wipes it off his cheekbone. With eyes never leaving yours, he licks the dribbling spit off his gloved appendage. A groan slips past his lips. The sight has butterflies blooming deep in your stomach.

“Gentle, pips. There’s more than one pair of eyes watching us right now.”

Your eyes dart to the camera mounted on the wall behind him, a red light blinking next to the lens. You gulp at the thought of others witnessing this moment, praying there is no audio. He has to hold back the grin from forming as he watches you frantically think of the Fleet watching you both. The cameras are only accessible by him, but you don’t need to know that. He loves the way it makes you fidget in the chair.

“Now, are you going to be a good girl?”

Eyes glaring daggers into his, his hands land on your thighs, squeezing the plump flesh. His touch is cold against your warm and clammy skin. The look in his eyes daring you to go against him, to act up, to defy. It’s dangerous, he’s dangerous.

His fingers move up, pushing the fabric of your skirt with it, all the while he watches you. He sees the way your pupils dilate, the way the pulse in your neck quickens. He feels your thighs twitch, moving to squeeze together, but his grip prevents you from denying him. All the while, the fabric of your panties grows damp at his roughness.

Higher now, the tips of his thumbs start to fall into the crevice between your thighs and hips, and he almost moans at the way your skin pillows around his hands. That’s not what does him in though. Before you can protest and ask him to move away, his thumbs graze the outskirts of lace frill. Lace that is wet and stuck to your skin. His head drops into your lap, his breath quickening.

“Fuck, pips.” He traces his fingers along the edge of the fabric as he pants into the side of your left thigh, nipping at the skin to prevent another moan from leaving his lips. You gasp at the sensations, your body trying to curl in on itself but the restraints prevent you. “You are my undoing.”

“Caleb.” The sound of his name whimpering out of those plush lips has his cock twitching in his slacks.

“What is it, my love?” His hot breath is torture against your trembling skin.

His fingers are still tracing the edges of your panties, back and forth and back and forth, never giving you what you need. Your pulse throbs heavily in your clit as you clench around nothing. You can feel yourself growing wetter at his ministrations and the thought is mortifying.

Yet, something about the way he looks both dominating yet pathetic with his head in your lap has you unraveling. Years of desires that were so tightly locked away come flooding to the surface and it feels dirty, sinful even. None of it matters anymore. No reasoning could stop this from happening… and maybe, this was always where you were meant to land.

Right in the palm of his hand.

His head tilts in your lap, his soft hair tickling you. Purple eyes stare up into yours, begging for the words to leave your mouth. Yet, the hint of darkness glinting behind it lets you know he won’t wait long. You're his for the taking.

You nod your head at him and he smirks.

“Ah-ah,” he scolds, nipping at your inner thigh harder this time, leaving a light bite mark. “Use your words.”

Rouge scatters across your cheeks, ears, and neck in shame and lust. Tilting your head to the side, averting your gaze, you whisper, “Please touch me.”

Fingers ghost over the top of your fabric, pressing gently into your mound, the fabric pushing into your folds. The feeling has your brain short circuiting. It’s still not enough.

“You have to be more specific, love. I’m already touching you.”

His face moves up higher, kissing a trail up your thighs until his nose reaches his finger, replacing it. His hands move up higher, grasping the panties resting on your hips and pulling them up higher, causing the fabric to dig in deeper. A pathetic moan ripples out your lips.

“Where do you want to be touched?” His nose moves, pushing into your throbbing clit.

“There. Please, Caleb.”

He wants to tease you more. He wants you tied to this chair, begging for his touch, tears streaming down your face from the edging and denial. He wants you to want him as desperately as he needs you. But, the sound of his name so needy on your tongue has him saving his plans for another day. Oh how easily he folds for you.

“You always get what you want, don’t you?” His tone is sarcastic, but he doesn’t deny you any longer.

Fabrics is pushed to the side and the feeling of his skin on yours has you twitching in the chair, your hands gripping the armrest. His tongue swipes through your folds, flicking your clit before diving into your pussy like a man starved. The sounds escaping your mouth are foreign to you, but so is the pleasure burning its way across your body.

Caleb is relentless in his pursuit for your orgasm. He alternates between lavishing your hole, moaning at the way your walls pathetically clench around him, and abusing your clit with bites and sucking. It’s all too much for you. The pressure building within you is lightning fast. You bite down on your lip to prevent the moans from escaping, but that angers Caleb.

One hand leaves your thigh and pulls your bottom lip out from between your teeth, replacing it with two fingers. He presses down on your tongue, your mouth opening with the force.

“Don’t,” is all he mutters against you before returning to his feast.

His other hand moves down until his index finger ghosts your entrance. He traces around and over it lightly, never truly giving you what you want. Meanwhile, the fingers in your mouth play with your tongue as you moan around them.

Suddenly, his index finger catches on your entrance and he slowly sinks into you. You bite down on his fingers, whimpering at the intrusion you desperately needed. He wanted to go slow with you. Truly, he did.

But the way you clench around him has him seeing stars. He doesn’t hesitate to add another finger, relishing in the way you accept him smoothly. He presses in until the palm of his hand rests against your clit. The sounds your pussy is making has him grinning ferally.

Lifting his head, he gazes at the glazed out look in your eyes. A look he’s seen only a few times before when he happened to check his monitors and you were fucking some other guy in your room. He’d almost stormed to your place that night to kill the man. He’d only been gone for a month and you’d given yourself to someone else. Your first time. The jealousy bubbles within him even now.

His hand suddenly starts rocking back and forth, his palm grinding harshly against your clit. The sensation has you tearing apart at the seams. Stars flicker in the corners of your eye as you feel yourself approaching the edge of a dangerous cliff. His name rambles off your tongue like a prayer.

“That’s it, baby girl.” His tone sounds mocking, but you can barely process that over the pleasure coursing through your body. “Cum on my hand.”

He’s resting on his heels now, watching you fall apart right before his eyes. Your knuckles are white against the armrest, your thighs twitching, and your mouth suckling on his fingers through broken moans. He curls his fingers up right as he sees you inhale, finger tips grazing a spot you’d never touched before. A spot no one had touched before.

A wave crashes through you, dragging you under, as an orgasm rips through you. Caleb doesn’t falter, working a third finger in at the same time you cum. The sensation has tears bubbling in your eyes, a sob escaping your lips. He works you through your orgasm flawlessly, while building up another one at the same time. It’s overwhelming.

Caleb removes his fingers from your mouth, trailing down to your neck, grasping it within his hands. Fingers press into the sides, your head feeling light at the restricted blood flow. Your eyes find him, trying to ground yourself in the storm of pleasure.

His fingers leave you right as you're about to cum again, the denial harsh. Before you can beg the colonel before you to continue, his fingers reach his lips. You watch silently as he sucks on his fingers, moaning at the taste of you on his tongue, his eyes never leaving yours. The sight is obscene and filthy, and you’re enthralled.

Once he’s done sucking every last drop of you off his tongue, he stands up, towering over you. The grip on your throat moves to your cheeks, pushing them together. “Open up,” he demands.

Even if you wanted to defy him, his hands force your lips to part and your head to tilt up to his. He leans down until his face is above yours, eyes boring into yours as his mouth opens. Your cum and his spit gathers in his mouth before he spits it into yours.

“Swallow.” And, you do. Your tongue swipes across your lips to make sure you didn’t miss a drop before opening your mouth, proving to him that you’d followed his orders. His hand taps the side of your cheek. “What a good girl you are.”

Suddenly, there’s a beeping sound echoing in the room and the pressure around your wrists and ankles releases. You’re unchained. You could try to make a run for it, but you don’t want to. Not anymore. He’d only chase you, punish you. The thought is actually tempting. But, what if he didn’t? What if you ran and he let you? Would you ever see him again? You’d only just gotten him back and the thought of losing him for a second time is inconceivable.

Caleb watches your inner turmoil for a brief second, loving the way you look torn apart. In your moment of distraction, he lifts you up from the chair. Your hands wrap around his neck for balance as your world shifts around you. He turns around before seating himself on the chair, placing you right on top of his lap, your thighs on either side of his. Grabbing your hips, he pulls you down until you’re fully seated against the bulge in his slacks.

Your eyes whip to his his as you feel him twitching beneath you. His head rests against the back of the chair lazily, a smirk gracing his lips.

“I’m all yours, pipsqueak.” His fingers dig into the groove of your hips. “Aren’t you going to punish me?”

He moves your hips forward, grinding you down onto his cock. Biting down on his lip, he groans at the feeling of the wetness seeping into the fabric of his pants. Your hands rest on his shoulders to balance yourself, falling into the motions of grinding atop him.

You wanted to respond to him. You wanted to yell how angry and hurt you were at him, but your mind blanks out at the sensation of another orgasm building within you. Your head falls to his shoulder, your lips grazing the skin of his neck above his jacket collar. Sweet moans and gasps fall from your lips, warming his heart.

His hands move from your hips, which never falter in their dry humping, and grasp the bottom of your shirt. He peels it up from your body, his head nudging yours so you lift it. Once the fabric is free from your body he tosses it to the side, his hands immediately unclipping the bra and tearing it off you.

If angels were real, you had to be one and he could only pray that staring directly at your heavenliness wouldn’t kill him. He’d dedicate his life to you, bruise his knees in nightly worship at your feet, if it meant you’d stay here, right in his unworthy arms.

Gently, as if not to scare you, his hands ghost your skin. The feeling has your nipples pebbling and goosebumps raising all over. Gods, waiting this long to have you was his punishment.

His hands explore your body, fondling your boobs, gripping your hips, smacking your ass, as you greedily grind down on him, using him for your pleasure. You feel like teenagers in heat as you both explore each other.

But, it’s not enough, and you both soon realize that as your moans turn into frustrated whimpers as your orgasm rests just below the surface.

You sit up, your hips circling his lap, tears in your eyes and the tiniest bit of drool on the corner of your lips. Caleb wants to photograph you just like this: drunk from his touch on his lap. He nods at the way your eyes plead with him, his name babbling out of your lips.

One of his hands traces up to the back of your head and gently grips your hair in his grasp. The other moves to rest at the top of his zipper, his thumb presses against your clit as you move. You're greedy in the way you start to chase your pleasure against his hand now, ignoring his throbbing cock. Right as the tension is about to burst out of you, you’re lifted off his lap.

The energy wrapped around you has you feeling weightless as your head whips down to the man right below you, anger simmering in your blood. A tear drips from your eye and lands on the corner of his cheek, his tongue swipes it.

“You’ve always been so cute when you’re angry. But, you need to know your place, pips.”

“Put me down right this instant, Caleb.” Your voice sounds foreign to you, raspy and breathless.

Laughing at your pitiful excuse to demand him, he unzips his pants. Your eyes immediately dart to the movement, any more arguments dying on your lips. He palms himself over his boxers for a moment, relishing the hungry look in your eyes.

“What if I like you up there?” Suddenly there’s a bit of pressure against your clit and then you feel your panties tear away from your body, the fabric burning against your skin as it quickly rips. The cold air has you twitching above him, and he’s given a beautiful view of your dripping pussy.

Without breaking eye contact from your beautiful mound, he frees himself from his boxers, his dick standing against his stomach as his hand wraps around it. For as long as you’d lived together in the past, you’d never seen this part of him. He always made sure never to expose himself to you, no matter how many times he’d seen you naked over the years. It had bothered you on endless nights where you tried chasing your pleasure in between his sheets while he wasn’t home, inhaling his scent on his pillow, imagining his cock rubbing against your clit instead of your untrained fingers.

You’re enthralled with the veins that adorn his thick cock as they trace up to a pink tip that has you gulping. Could you fit him? Sure, you’d been with well-endowed men in the past but Caleb was a different breed. Where most men excel in either length or girth, he is blessed with both. Maybe even cursed, depending on how this goes.

His hand pumps up and down his shaft as he stares at your exposed pussy while you sit in your rambling thoughts. Tiny groans escape his lips as he clenches the base of his shaft, holding his pleasure at bay, his balls twitching. He can’t cum yet, not when he’d prepared you so well.

“Caleb.” Your breathy voice breaks him out of his daze, eyes darting to yours. “Put me down.”

The venom in your voice is gone, replaced with a sweetness that has his teeth rotting. He can’t ever say no to you at the end of the day, no matter how hard he tries. It’d always been this way. He could only resist and deny you for so long before you won in the end.

The energy around you shifts, bringing you down the few feet to meet his body, but not fully releasing you. The tip of his cock grazes against your folds. But, he did love to make sure you deserved your win, and you hadn’t yet.

Frustration burns across your body as Caleb toys with you, dragging his cock through your folds and rubbing against your clit. He repeats the motion a few times until you’re whimpering above him, your eyes burning holes into his skin. His cock catches on your entrance for a second, knocking the air out of your lungs at the feeling, before it slips out and through your folds. “Caleb,” you warn.

The colonel doesn’t even look up at you, he’s too mesmerized by how you’re dripping onto his cock, his hand rubbing your cum across the smooth skin of his shaft. Your warning falls on deaf ears as he catches his cock on your hole one more time, groaning at the way your entrance tries to clench onto him and drag him in, but you’re not close enough.

He needs your pussy weeping for me. He needs you crying for him.

It’s torture as he dangles you just out of his reach, building your orgasm up with the tip of his cock and sometimes his fingers when you beg. The edging and denial is overstimulating. The air in the room is suffocatingly hot. Your skin is covered in a thin sheen of sweat.

“I-” Your voice breaks into a moan when his fingers ghost over your clit. “I need you.”

There it is.

“Am I not giving you enough, my love?”

His cock settles at your entrance, this time not moving. The feeling has you writhing in his gravitational hold. You shake your head, words failing you as tears blur your vision. The frustration is painful.

“You’ve always been so greedy.” Your body starts to inch slowly down until the tip of his cock rests within, the feeling making you delirious as a moan rips through you.

“Always such a needy little brat.” His words are harsh and his evol raises you up until his cock is resting just at your entrance again.

Blood rushes through your ear as your walls clench around nothing yet again, the pulse in your clit threatening to tear you apart from the pain.

“Pushing me around all these years.” You sink down again, your breath stuttering, but he’s pulled you up again before you can even cherish the feeling of him. “Do you know how that has made me feel?”

“I’m sorry,” you choke out as a sob racks your body, tears spilling from your eyes. You want to rip your skin apart to rid yourself of this burning sensation. “Caleb, please.”

It’s not enough. Not yet.

“Please what, pipsqueak? Use your words. You’ve used them so well in the past to hurt me.” He sinks you down again, waiting this time to see if you will be punished or rewarded.

“Forgive me.” He tsks, almost pulling you off him before words begin rambling out of your mouth on a broken sob. “Fuck me. Please, just take me. Use me. I need it. Caleb. I’m sorry, please. Cal-”

Gravity rushes back through your body and suddenly your hips are flush to Caleb’s, his cock pushing through you with little resistance until he’s fully sheathed in your warmth. It takes the strength of gods to hold his orgasm back and not empty his cum into your deliriously hot pussy. The air is ripped from your lungs and you forget how to breathe as an orgasm rips through you at the pain and pleasure of his cock throbbing against your tight walls.

You almost lose consciousness at the absolute power of your orgasm. Lightning shoots across your body, zapping every nerve until you’ve turned to jello in his hold. Caleb’s hand rests on your abdomen, his thumb stroking over the bulge where his cock rests within you, filling you up more than you’d ever been in your life. The added pressure of his hand against your stomach has you keeling over, the air rushing back into your lungs right before you pass out.

Caleb waits for you to get used to him. He’s patient. He knows that you’re stretched thin. He knows that your body can take him, but that it’s not easy. He knows it in the way your pussy grips him like a vice, threatening to break him off at the base, yet pull him in at the same time.

When your breathing returns to normal is when he moves, grabbing your hips and grinding you against him at first. The movement has you circling on his cock, but you need more. Your hands grip his shoulders as you raise your head up to meet his eyes, and the look of him has your heart melting.

He’s looking at you as if you crafted the world with your bare hands and gave it to him. The purple of his eyes is almost gone and the smile on his lips is soft. He looks like the Caleb you know again. The soft Caleb who made sure you were taken care of and went to sleep happy every night. It has you returning the smile and his hips jolt up into you at the sight.

“There’s my girl,” he whispers before lifting you up by your hips, his cock slowly dragging out of your walls, the feeling making you dizzy. “I missed that smile.”

With that, Caleb’s restraint is gone. He drops you onto his cock once more, rutting up to meet your hips, his cock kissing your cervix. Moans rolls out of you like music to his as he fucks into with reckless abandon. You may be on top, but his tight grip controls every single movement.

His head falls into the crook of your neck, biting down hard when you clench around him as your third orgasm surprises the both of you. His tongue swipes against the mark, soothing the pain he’d caused. “Such a tight pussy, baby. All for me.”

“Yes, sir. All for you.”

Oh, the submission in your voice and body has him seeing stars. Somehow, his cock grows harder within you, the feeling causing you to whimper, looking at him with the most needy eyes and furrowed eyebrows. “Fuck me,” he whispers.

Grabbing your ass firmly with both hands, he stands up. You sink even deeper onto him with this new angle, your eyes rolling back as his cock presses harshly against your cervix and sits there. He turns you both around until you’re facing the chair. Lifting you off of him, you moan at the empty feeling as he slips out of you.

“Shhhh, be good for me.” He kisses you as one hand releases you to return with a sharp smack against your ass.

His hands move expertly as he turns you around in his hold until your back is against his chest, his cock slipping between your thighs. You tighten them until his cock is firmly cocooned between your plushy skin. His teeth bite into the shell of your ear as he retracts his hips, pulling himself free from your seductive hold as he places you on your knees in the chair.

“Grab the armrests, would you please baby?” He asks sweetly, his tongue swiping the inside of your ear, causing you to shiver.

You do as he asks, regaining your balance. You grip the metal of the chair, holding on as his hands rub down your arms. Caleb peppers across your neck and back, causing you to giggle at the sensation. You press back into him, your ass rubbing against his cock.

Click.

Cold metal snaps against your wrists, binding you back to the chair like before. You try to turn and look at the man behind you, angry that he’d lock you up as before, but his hand at your throat stops you. His fingers wrap around the collar you’d forgotten about.

“Can’t you just fuck me like a normal person.”

You’re mad again and he loves the way your eyebrows furrow.

“Bold of you to assume I’m normal, pips. I thought we established,” he whispers into your ear as his cock pushes into you from behind, your pussy resisting him a little with this new angle, “I am anything but that.”

His words end with a sharp thrust of his hips, his skin slapping against your ass. He doesn’t wait for you this time, his pace is relentless as he drives into you, chasing both his pleasure and yours. You lean forward from the movement, your chest pressed against the cold metal of the chair as he fucks into you.

All you can feel is the addicting feeling of him moving inside you, pressing against a spot that has you moaning his name with every thrust. He’s no more put together than you. Sweat drips down his face, his hair sticking to his skin as he watches the way his cock disappears into you and how your pussy holds onto him when he pulls out. It’s a sight he’s imagined countless times over the years, but experiencing it is otherworldly.

You're falling against the chair now, the arch in your back giving out as your strength fades. Caleb can’t have that. His hand at your throat moves to the back of your neck and grips the collar. He leans back, using every ounce of self-restraint to remove his body from your back. When he pulls the collar back towards him, you raise up, your back arching, moans choking at the pressure the collar has added on your throat. You can still breathe, he’s evol is holding the rest of your weight slightly up so the collar doesn’t choke you out.

“A normal person wouldn’t fuck you like this.”

He’s thrusting into you again. With every push in, he pulls the collar tighter, making your body meet him. His free hand slaps your ass before rubbing the red mark away. You yelp at the pain, and relish the delicious way he soothes it.

“But, you wouldn’t want to be fucked normally.”

Your mind is in the clouds as his presence surrounds you: his scent, his body, his evol, his touch, everything. You aren’t sure where you end, and he begins as he rhythmically fucks into you. Every few moments, he slows down, making sure you can truly feel him.

“None of those other boys could make you cum.” He spits out the words angrily, his hand spanking you once more before smoothing your skin. “Do you know how hard I had to hold myself back so I didn’t barge into your room and finish the job myself?”

You should be embarrassed that he knows such things, should be terrified of how he even knows that, but his fingers find your clit and your sobbing at the overwhelming sensation of Caleb.

“You should’ve done it.” Your words are barely comprehensible over the sound of skin slapping against each other and your moans within this room, but he hears you all the same.

His hand leaves the collar and wraps around your throat, bringing himself flush against your back as he ruts shallowly into you, his orgasm quickly approaching.

“Yeah? You would’ve liked that, brat? Have your best friend clean up those assholes’ mess and replace it with his own?”

Your head falls against his shoulder, your lips kissing the skin behind his ear as you moan at the thought of him doing that all those years ago.

“They didn’t deserve to cum in this pussy. They weren’t worthy of you.” His fingers tighten and your head grows light at the pressure of his hand at your throat and clit. “That’s okay though. I’ll wash you clean of their filth. I’ll make sure no one touches you ever again.”

You’re at his mercy as he skillfully fucks in and out of you, his fingers rubbing delicious circles around your clit. There’d never been another time in your life where you’d felt this much pleasure and you fall into its embrace willingly. As your breath quickens and becomes choppy as your orgasm approaches, Caleb whispers filthy praises into your ear before grabbing your chin and tilting your head towards him.

You open your eyes briefly to look at how absolutely drunk off you he looks. You stretch up, your hands pulling at the restraints, and kiss him. It’s sloppy and uncoordinated as you both moan into the other, tongue and teeth battling for dominance when they can. His hips stutter, losing rhythm and you know he’s close. So are you with his hand between your thighs.

“Can I?” He doesn’t finish his sentence, but you know what he wants.

“Yes.” Your consent rips away whatever restraint he thought he had left.

All he can think of is filling your pretty pussy up with his cum until your stomach is full and bloated with it, with him. He’ll fill you up nice and good and make sure you don’t waste a drop. After today, he’ll make sure you leave the house, when he lets you, with his cum dampening your panties. He needs you full of him.

His fingers work you into your next orgasm smoothly, that it’s arrival has you melting into his hold. Warmth spreads across your body in waves as his orgasm rips through him like an earthquake. His hand moves away from your clit, sparing it from oversensitivity for today, and further down until it’s cupped around your mound, his dick slotted between his fingers.

The extra feeling of his hand around his dick and your cream pooling around his fingers and base of his cock has his eyes rolling back. His cum floods into you in thick bursts, the hot fluid covering your wall as his head falls onto your shoulder.

He’s moaning your name like it’s a prayer as he rides out his orgasm slowly, relishing the way your walls try to milk more out of him. If he could, he’d stay seated here forever, with you in his arms and wrapped around his cock. But, the Fleet will need this room at some point and the thought of such trivial humans seeing you like this has him seething.

The restraints around your wrists release you and one of your arms raises up to hug Caleb’s head and pull him closer into you. He peppers your eyes and cheek with soft kisses, cleaning your face of sweat and tears, as he pulls out of you. The feeling is awkward as the cum rushes to drip out of you.

Caleb’s fingers join back together once he’s fully out of you and he cups you tightly, making sure not a drop spills out. He grins against your neck as he nuzzles into it, proud of the way your pussy is pulsing against his hand.

“Can’t have you wasting my cum after you worked so hard for it, now can we?” His tone is mocking, but he kisses you softly nonetheless.

A group of cadets walk past the door, their voices filling the empty room, and Caleb can’t help loving the way you tense up, scared to be caught by such runts. Your pulse quickens under his lips, and he kisses it to soothe you.

“Let’s get you home so I can clean you up, okay?” His eyes travel across your torn panties and dirty clothes on the ground, before he hands you his jacket. Your fingertips touch as you take the jacket from him, and he grabs your wrist. His head leans down to brush his lips across the top of your hand before letting go. “Put that on, Princess. I don’t want anyone seeing you like that. That’s only for my eyes.”

Caleb’s wink has you shoving his shoulder before wrapping yourself up in his large jacket. Once closed, it fully covers you up and Caleb can’t help the way his cock hardens at the way you look in his colonel coat. He sweeps you up into his arm bridal style before his cock comes up with other ideas.

Your hands wrap around his neck, fingertips messing with the short hairs at his nape.

“Who's taking me home? The Colonel or my best friend?” You try to ask teasingly but the worry and sadness seeps into your tone.

His gaze softens as a regretful smile graces his handsome face.

“Hopefully, just Caleb.”

You don’t say anything further. Not now. The moment is too raw, emotions too high. For now, you want to relish in his warmth and devotion, everything else can be worried about tomorrow. Today, you have the love of your life back and that’s enough.

He’s enough.

[what-if-i-just-did]

I'm entering these silly guys in a tournament that needs a link to their picrews, so here's Jake, Noah-Elise, and a repost of Amber!

Jake:

Noah-Elise:

Amber:

[mendessi]

things i say when you sleep

series masterlist

bodhi durran x fem!oc

next update: TBD

summary: Ania crosses the Parapet into the Riders Quadrant, and finally meets with the marked children of those who got her parents and brother killed. Bodhi Durran is quick to remind her that she's marked too.

current wordcount: 72k

current chapter count: fourteen

tags: slow burn, friends to enemies to lovers, canon typical violence, mentions of death, she falls first he falls harder, majority canon compliant, some canon deviance, explicit sexual content (🌶️), angst with a happy ending, fourth wing spoilers, iron flame spoilers, additional tags to be added

ao3

F O U R T H W I N G

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

chapter five

chapter six

chapter seven

chapter eight

chapter nine

chapter ten 🌶

chapter eleven

chapter twelve

chapter thirteen 🌶

I R O N F L A M E

chapter fourteen

chapter fifteen

...

ania or Áine (ahn-ya)- radiance or brightness

[what-if-i-just-did]

Amber, pre-whump: Aight bet (You can't do shit cuz if you beat me up, Jake will kill you)

how would your oc react if someone challenged them to a fist fight?

[insanitysilver]

OK....sooo about the swearing in Ao3. What's considered Mature vs Explicit.

I’ve been chewing on this ask because coarse language is just so subjective. What counts as objectionable will vary between cultures, country-to-country (see US vs UK cursing), region-to-region, and even amongst family and friend groups. The internet leans towards liberal cursing as the norm, but even fandom norms will vary (South Park vs Pokemon).

►What does AO3’s TOS say?

In general… the creator should use their best judgement. “We encourage creators to consider community norms, whether fandom-specific or more general (such as how you'd expect a video game or movie with similar content to be rated), when selecting a rating.”

With that in mind, I can really only give you...

►My Personal Playbook:

» General Audiences -- The content is unlikely to be disturbing to anyone and is suitable for all ages.

G. Something I could read aloud to a 5yo and not get in trouble for. No cursing.

» Teen And Up Audiences --  The content may be inappropriate for audiences under 13.

PG-13. Light cursing. Couple scattered “shits”, “damns”, maybe a “fuck” or two, but sparingly.

» Mature -- The content contains adult themes (sex, violence, etc) that aren't as graphic as explicit-rated content.

R. Heavier cursing. “Fucks” abound + possible light usage of racially/gender-charged terms.

» Explicit -- The content contains explicit adult themes, such as detailed sex scenes, graphic violence, etc.

NC-17. Obscene cursing happening frequently. “Fucks” are swarming. Slurs are coming out of the vents and dripping down the walls.

►Helpful Additional Tags:

T for Language, Rated for [Character]’s Mouth, Canon-Typical Language, Slurs, Canon-Typical Slur Usage,  Homophobic Language, Racist Language, Sexist Language, Derogatory Language, etc.

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

LINK LIMIT HAS BEEN REACHED

Jan 19th

~*~

1. hi!! itmf a fic where

a) wen wei wuxian! or even partially wen friendly fics i suppose? i've read most stuff tagged under wen wei wuxian but feel free to recommend if u have one you really like even if it has that tag!

b) modern/college aus with a similar vibe to Red Chrysanthemums for Wei Ying/A Soft Storm by AvoOwO (strongly recommend!!). doesn't have to have such dark themes necessarily but the relationship between wwx and jc & others. Lan Zhan vs the Jiang Siblings series by phnelt is another (more lighthearted) example of what i mean! sorry ik it's vague.

c) a social media fic! preferably with the whole twitter/other social media set ups and all that fun stuff like Second Wind: An Idol Survival Show by moeblobmegane

tysm for all u do u guys are amazing!!!

1A)

Scars of Lightning by The_peregrine_falcon (T, 6k, YZY & WWX, WWX & WRH, WangXian, YZY’s A+ Parenting, Canon Divergence, Not Canon Compliant, Wen WWX, zidian, YZY is a bitch, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Injury, Major Character Injury, Heavy Angst, Lotus Pier, Nightless City, Young WWX, Muteness, Hurt kind of comfort)

Loneliness Knows My Name by Jaywalker_Holmes, Treef (T, 208k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, Unreliable Narrator, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, mutual idiots)

Heliocentric by Coolio101 (T, 8k, WangXian, in which WWX is born as part of the Wen Sect, Mutual Pining, LWJ & JC are friends....kind of, Wen Sect WWX, Fix-It, LWJ has zero chill and is always 2 sec away from throwing hands, but that's basically canon, also WRH is still an asshole, so if you were expecting redemption!fic this might not be for you, Canon Divergence)

Sunset, Sunrise by Ariana Deralte (ArianaDeralte) (T, 59k, WWX & WRH, WangXian, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Crack, Temporary Character Death, sorry I killed a-Yuan for a few paragraphs before the time travel, WWX is a Wen, Genius WWX, WRH gets to rewatch the series as a treat, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, in this house we acknowledge that all the sects have flaws, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, WWX Has ADHD, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Autistic LWJ, Loss of Limbs)

All Things Belong by kuroi_atropos (M, 93k, WRH & WWX, WangXian, WWX is a Wēn, Abuse, Whipping, Manipulations, Warning: WRH, Smart WWX, Possessive Behavior, Warning: JGS, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Past Rape/Non-con, Society Level Victim Blaming, Victim Blaming)

1C)

Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation by Hades_the_Blingking (T, 75k, multiple ships, Chatlogs, chatfic, Texting, Comedy, Canon Compliant, Crack, Memes, Humour, JGY is best bitch, i am afraid of when LXC finally snaps, XY is a highly cursed person, NHS is still mvp tbh, chatroom fic, Polyamory, Lots of it, Not Everyone Dies, Additional: please do not eat or drink reading this enough people have choked x-x)

call me, beep me by myung (T, 39k, WangXian, MM/WQ, JC/WN, JYL/JZX, Social Media, Modern, Actors, Celebrity, Chatting & Messaging)

cookin' up a storm, piece of cake by livinginaworldofnoise (G, 9k, WangXian, Modern, Social Media, Baking, the dumbest comments u have ever seen, WWX being a troll for nearly 10k words, LWJ suffering the most that any recipe blogger has ever suffered, Baker LWJ, WWX is a Little Shit, Crack, content warning for absolute unhinged nonsense, told in the form of recipe comments and emails, Epistolary, Unconventional Format)

life, drama and action by Akai__hana (G, 13k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, Modern, Actors, singer LWJ, actor WWX, Social Media, Fluff and Humor, Established Relationship, Crack)

r/relationships by vespertineflora (T, 8k, WangXian, Modern AU, Social Media, Viral Reddit Post, Pining, Crushes, Friends to Lovers, Awkward Flirting, Romantic Gestures, Romantic Comedy, Love Confessions, Kissing, Happy Ending, r/relationships [podfic] by someplacelikebolivia)

🔒 人過留名 | Reputation by dragongirlG, PandaReads (DrPanda99) (T, 5k, JL & LSZ & LJY & OYZZ, JL & WWX, Social Media, Gusu Lan Juniors Dynamics, Humor, Chinese diaspora, Secret Identity, College/University, Modern Setting, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 30-45 Minutes, Mandarin speaking reader, Fic & Podfic)

~*~

2. any fics with the housewife and provider husband dynamic? (either of them could be the househusband, idrc i just want this dynamic) @ashxi-wx

crimson blue by cherrywhiskey (E, 138k, WangXian, Modern AU, Arranged Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, Marriage of Convenience, genius WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Supportive LQR, Bottom LWJ, Eventual mpreg, Protective WWX, BAMF WWX, caring LWJ, Soap Opera, with plenty of telenovela tropes, like scheming in-laws, sizzling drama, Angst, Romance, AND SO MUCH LOVE & DEVOTION, Power Couple Wangxian, they're smitten with each other, WWX × LQR bonding, soft LWJ, but he's also got a temper, WWXs debt & duty factor is heavily focused, it's a bit whumpy initially, but Very Very Happy ending, let me show you what WWX's love looks like)

the end of And They Have Escaped The Weight of Darkness by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Screw the Cultivation world tbh, The Lan precepts deserves better, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Social justice boyfriends wangxian, Happy Ending) link in #15

~*~

3. Hello🥰 I was wondering if you had some kind of Post-Canon fanfics comp? Or Post-Canon fanfics recs? I looked through your fic comps list but, if it does exist, I couldn’t find it. If it doesn’t exist, could I ask for you fav post canon fanfics for the next itmf? Happy endings please!!! And the cutest wangxian the better!

Thank you luv, you’re doing gods work!

Bitter Plants Bearing Sweet Fruit by Kryal (M, 83k, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, canon-typical horror elements, Worldbuilding, Desert, Misuse of Historic Setting, Original Character Death(s), Case Fic, aftermath of canon, ridiculously long author notes, Established Relationship, Nothing Explicit But Shameless Innuendo)

a safe pair of hands by occultings (microcomets) (E, 11k, WangXian, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Body Worship, Post-Canon, Case Fic, Sharing a Bed, Getting Together, First Time, Curses, Intimacy, Touch-Starved LWJ)

And Yet Here You Are by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Domestic Fluff, Cloud Recesses, settling down, Separation Anxiety, Teacher WWX, very light angst, Chief Cultivator LWJ)

call me home and I’ll build you a throne by anaphoricae (E, 51k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Cloud Recesses, Getting Together, Developing Relationship, Self-Indulgent, Gusu Lan Juniors Dynamics, Touch-Starved, Non-Sexual Intimacy… and then Sexual Intimacy, Lán Juniors Gossiping about Wangxian, as a treat, Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Farmer WWX, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Mutual Pining, Communication, Quietly Falling Into a Married Life, Light Angst, Wholesome, POV LWJ, POV WWX, LWJ in braids agenda, Sharing a Bed, WWX’s Birthday, Semi-Public Sex, Cold Springs, Inventor WWX, Jealous WWX)

How to Keep Your Diplomatic Asset Close (and Your Wei Ying Closer) by His Excellency by misscam (M, 4k, WangXian, Getting Together, Fluff, Smut, Humor, CQL!verse, some inspiration from the novel)

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (E, 23k, wangxian, Canon Compliant, discussion of canon character death, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Getting Together, Yearning, Literal Sleeping Together, Really Excessive Amounts of Hurt/Comfort,[Podfic of] hunters seeking solid ground by exmanhater, hunters seeking solid ground by Attila [Podfic] by Rhea314 (Rhea))

If It’s You by etymologyplayground (T, 1k, WangXian, Fluff, Reunions, Getting Together, Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, Cuddling & Snuggling, Post-Canon, Sexual Tension)

I’m Going Out (Gonna Make A Name For Me And You) by cosmicmilktea (T, 16k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Power couple Wangxian for social change is my kink, People being nice to WWX is my kink, LWJ and I have that in common, Mentor WWX, intersect relations, cultivation sects, Slow Burn, Like seriously it's very slow, Sickness)

Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground (T, 39k, wangxian, JC & WWX, Case Fic, Intimacy, Curses, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Cuddling & Snuggling, Getting Together, Romance, Sexual Tension, Scent Kink, WWX Loves To Teach, wangxian are married, Fluff, nonsexual intimacy, Scars, Sharing a Bed, Nonverbal Communication, this is HEAVY on the symbolism, Translation in Russian)

Nice work if you can get it by deliciousblizzardshark (M, 11k, WangXian, Protective LWJ, Genius WWX, Post-Canon, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, the make people respect wwx agenda, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Soft WangXian, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, a very very small amount of smut, also a possessed squirrel)

爱不释手; never let me go by yiqie (E, 68k, WangXian, Case Fic, Blood and Injury, Demons, Body Horror, Mystery, The intrinsic horniness of wound tending, Yearning 2: The Electric Boogaloo, [Podfic] 爱不释手; never let me go by argentumlupine, 爱不释手; never let me go [podfic] by esbielle)

You’d Break Your Heart to Make It Bigger by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 32k, WangXian, soulbonding, First Time, Case Fic if You Squint, Fools in Love, soul boning, soft fools in love, Pining while fucking)

Wearing Down Every Bone by CSHfic, VSfic (E, 30k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Time Loop, Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Case Fic, Curses, Pining, Getting Together, Time Travel, Night Hunts, Hurt wwx, Mystery, Angst with a Happy Ending, Use Your Words, Mutual Pining, Depression and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, gratuitous use of empathy)

build me no shrines by occultings (microcomets) (M, 54k, WangXian, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, First Time, Getting Together, Confessions, Sharing a Bed, Hair Washing, Sentient Burial Mounds, Case Fic, Post-Canon, CQL Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Light Angst, Flashbacks, mild body horror, foot   washing, Happy Ending, Non-Sexual Intimacy, …then sexual intimacy, [Podfic] build me no shrines by flamingwell)

~*~

4. Do you have any Wangxian fics that discuss classism? Like any that are about/mention how often Wei Wuxian is treated because he's the 'son of a servant'.

🔒 Fine Men of High Rank by Deastar (E, 3k, WangXian, Xuanwu of Slaughter Cave, Class Issues, Cuddling, Hurt/Comfort)

made for each other by KouriArashi (T, 118k, JYL/NMJ, WangXian, JC/WQ, LXC/JGY, LXC & NMJ, NMJ & NHS, JC & JYL & WWX, Canon Divergence, Romance, Developing Relationship, Slow Build, Matchmaking, Mutual Pining, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Sibling Bonding, Class Issues, first half is fluffy but then, Sunshot Campaign, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Protective Boyfriends, Happy Ending, Not Everyone Dies)

Chronicles of Sect Leader Wei Wuxian by Muggle_Diary (E, 115k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, JFM/YZY, CSSR/WCZ, MM/LXC, NMJ/QS, WQ/OC, OFC / OFC, JC / OFC, Sect Leader WWX, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Different First Meeting, Canon Divergence, Minor Character Death, First Time, First Kiss, Anal Sex, Sex Toys, Explicit Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Rough Sex, Sexual Assault, Child Abuse, Child Death, War Hero WWX, Sunshot Campaign, No Golden Core Transfer, WWX Leaves the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, Cultivation Sect Politics, Original Character(s), Wen Remnants Live, Abusive YZY, Abusive Jiang Family, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, JC Bashing, YZY Bashing, JFM Bashing, Yunmeng Jiang Sect Bashing, JYL & JZX Live, Jiang Family Bashing)

🔒 in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 56k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, Cloud Recesses, LWJ & NHS Friendship, Developing Relationship, POV LWJ, Minor Injuries, Autistic LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, aka the Madam Yu warning, Genius WWX, Light Angst And Hurt/Comfort, WWX Protection Squad, Gusu Lan Sect, Slow Burn, Protective LWJ, LWJ-centric)

~*~

5. Do you have any fics where Wei Wuxian is the drunk one? There are so many confessions where Lan Wangji is drunk, but I'm curious if there are any where Wei Wuxian is the one drunk.

~*~

6. Hello!! for the next ITMF, are there any modern au fics where the cultivation world is a secret? sort of like in Lan Sizhui and the Whispers of the Lost by Vulpeculate

~*~

7. Hello! Happy 2025! I'm here for the next In the mood for! I'm craving a really angsty scene of the twin jades... I just really need Lan Zhan laying it out on Lan Xichen after the truth is out, because I think Lan Xichen is more focused on the fact that he killed JGY and helped killing NMJ and not of the big part he played on everything that went on with WWX and the Wens and also how he betrayed LWJ. @lostandmessedup

~*~

8. Itmf fics that explore the time when meng Yao hid lan xichen after he escaped cloud recesses. It feels like there should be more great fics about this but I haven’t found them. Especially for JGY/LXC falling in love and JGY making different choices!

walk away from the sun by KouriArashi (M, 107k, LXC/JGY, LXC & LWJ, WangXian, LWJ & JGY, LXC & NMJ, Canon Divergence, Angst, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Developing Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Politics, supportive brothers, supportive husbands, Canon-Typical Violence, Lan Family Feels, Everybody Lives, Eventual Happy Ending)

and he sang about the stars by hauntme_then (M, 29k, WangXian, Brotherhood, Growing Up Together, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Canonical Character Death) The MY hiding LZC part is part of a more in depth LZC POV fic, but it is a poignant and detailed part. I should also warn that the fic is dark and will not hit the last part of your request about different choices. But the LZC POV is very good and exploratory.

~*~

9. Heyo are there any fics set in the untamed universe where Wei Wuxian comes back to lan when and the juniors and its just him and Lan Zhan having so much sexual and romantic tension? Like you could cut it with a twig, like super thick in the air and the juniors are just tired of it, so they decided to do something about it or Wangxian figure it out on their own? Please let me know, and I hope you have a nice day or night😁 @yasssbassss

A Dramatic Reading by pupeez4eva (Not Rated, 5k, WangXian, Humor, Post-Canon, Public Confessions, oblivious wangxian, The Juniors accidentally write Wangxian fanfiction on a cursed scroll, Everyone suffers the consquences, Getting Together)

Far Away You Are by cqlorphan (E, 17k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Misunderstandings, cleared up by juniors ensemble, Explicit Consent, Bottom LWJ. Top WWX, but i’m sure they switch about it, Multiple Orgasms, Fluff and Smut, with a little angst - as a treat)

Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground (T, 39k, wangxian, JC & WWX, Case Fic, Intimacy, Curses, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Cuddling & Snuggling, Getting Together, Romance, Sexual Tension, Scent Kink, WWX Loves To Teach, wangxian are married, Fluff, nonsexual intimacy, Scars, Sharing a Bed, Nonverbal Communication, this is HEAVY on the symbolism, Translation in Russian) link in #3

tell some storm by qurbat (G, 31k, wangxian, JC & WWX, LSZ & WWX, NHS & WWX, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, liberal amounts of outsider POV, the legend of wangxian, how to create a romance epic for dummies)

🔒 The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli (T, 19k, WangXian, In-Universe RPF, Romance Novel, LJY’s sense of justice, OYZZ’s sense of romance, Featuring a surprise appearance by WWX’s oft-absent sense of shame, Look the ducklings just want their sort-of dads to be happy okay?, And it’s not like WWX or LWJ are doing a good job of ensuring their own happiness, LJY rejects canon reality and substitutes his own, highly relatable actually, Post-Canon Fix-It, primarily drama-canon with cameos from novel-canon, The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli [Podfic] by Rhea314 (Rhea))

~*~

10. Hello! I'm itmf any A) Wangxian fics that are funny, and b) good uncle lqr fics in post canon!

10A)

Once upon a moonlit night, in Gusu by naqaashi (E, 1k, WangXian, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Suffering LQR, LQR is So Done, JC is So Done, Outdoor Sex, Married WangXian, Established Relationship, Shameless Smut, Shameless WangXian, Post-Canon, LQR Metaphorically Qi-Deviates, Poor LQR, Gremlin WWX, Petty LWJ, WangXian Being Cringe, Public Display of Affection, Accidental Voyeurism) Just read this one last night and it was very funny, especially the second half. #prayforLQR

Important Distinctions by nagi_blue (T, 5k, Gen, Fluff and Crack, [Podfic] Important Distinctions by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona)

Transcend by covalentbonds (Not Rated, 7k, WIP, WangXian, Post-Canon, Fluff and Humor, Smut, YLLZ WWX is prettiest fight me)

🔒 and in the spring i shed my skin by wvlfqveen (T, 11k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Professors, Shapeshifter LWJ, Not Quite Necromancer WWX, Mutual Pining, WWX being an oblivious idiot, Fluff, Love Confessions, yunmeng trio, Family Feels, get JC therapy 2020, Kissing)

are you my wisdom tooth? because i'd like to take you out by yellowcarnations (G, 3k, WangXian, Modern, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, this is like drunk LWJ but leveled up to the max, its not ooc if u blame it on the anaesthesia)

The Late Great Custody Debate by stiltonbasket (G, 9k, WangXian, LXC/NMJ, JYL/JZX, JYL & WWX & JC, Modern, Domestic Fluff, baby a-yuan, Single Parent WWX, LWJ is a confused rabbit owner, nielan are married, nhs is: xoxo gossip girl, Custody Arrangements, engagement fluff, Confused WWX, WWX voice: if i'm the one with the kid why are you suing ME for child support?, LWJ kills his own love life in the worst way, Happy Ending)

The Bunnies and The Roomba: A Love Story by Nikki373 (T, 6k, WangXian, Fluff, Humor, Idiots in Love, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Siblings, Siblings Try and Are Trying, Modern, College/University, ,It's kinda more grad school adjacent, 1 if by phone; 2 if by text; 3 if by mouth, Kisses, Romance, Falling In Love, LXC is the eternal captain of the good ship Wangxian)

Covered in Bees by ScarlettStorm (T, 8k, WangXian, Modern AU, Beekeeping AU, Meet-Cute, Comedy, Fluff, Bees, come for the flirting, stay for the bee facts, and the bee puns)

10B)

No Strings Attached by stiltonbasket (G, 3k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, NieLan, Canon DivergenceFix-It, LQR is a good uncle, wwx is much smarter than he looks, and by that I mean he's a genius, Smitten LWJ, Golden Core Reveal) Chef's kiss.

🔒❤️ Joy In the Midst of These Things Series by Glitterbombshell (T/G, 53k, WangXian, Angst with Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Teacher WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff)

Seasons of Falling Flowers by merakily (G, 40k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, LQR & LWJ, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Character Study, Introspection, In-Laws, Golden Core, Emotional Baggage, Family Bonding, Protective LWJ, Good Parent LQR, LQR has feelings, LQR & WWX become friends)

someone like you by Basingstoke (G, <1k, wangxian, Future Fic, Cloud Recesses, Teacher WWX)

Overwhelming Enthusiasm by Shadaras (M, 1k, LQR & WWX, LQR & LWJ, WangXian, POV Outsider, Aftermath of Violence, Coitus Interruptus, Good Uncle LQR, Nerd WWX, Family Feels)

Menace by MnemonicMadness (T, 7k, LQR & WWX WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt WWX, BAMF WWX, Downplaying an Injury, awkward comforter LQR, reluctant matchmaker LQR, Humor, Pining WWX, Good Uncle LQR, Self-Sacrificing WWX, POV LQR, LQR is stressed, And also secretly a softie, Post-Canon)

Inconceivable by merakily (G, 3k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, post-canon, fluff, humor, in-laws, chief cultivator LWJ)

🔒 Five Shades of Home by DrPanda99 (G, 13k, wangxian, post-canon, Chinese New Year, grief/mourning, hurt/comfort, introspection, homecoming, domesticity, JC & WWX reconciliation, good uncle LQR, dumblings)

Deeper Seasons by piecrust (G, 8k, LQR & WWX, WangXian)

I'm Sorry & Thank You by Iamnotawriter (T, 12k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Golden Core, Canon-Typical Violence, lqr's epipheny, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

11. Itmf fics which make your heart full just by reading how good of a book it is, like exceptional plot and writing with minimum or explainable ooc-ness, above 100k, for ex: Dispersing Clouds , and Twelve Moons And A Fortnight. Theres more but I don't remember. @jaywuji

The Shade of Old Trees by Kryal (T, 363k, WangXian, History, Canon Divergence, Modern, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Slow Life, Action/Adventure, Magic Returns, BAMF WWX) the author even explains all their worldbuilding and character choices

Bitter Plants Bearing Sweet Fruit by Kryal (M, 83k, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, canon-typical horror elements, Worldbuilding, Desert, Misuse of Historic Setting, Original Character Death(s), Case Fic, aftermath of canon, ridiculously long author notes, Established Relationship, Nothing Explicit But Shameless Innuendo) link in #3

We Meet at the Thousandth Step by Admiranda, Rynne (T, 316k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR & WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Night Hunts, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Plot, Romance, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Everyone Lives, Developing Relationship, Minor Violence, Case Fic, Mystery, Flirting, WWX’s Canon-Typical Flower Flirting, Arson, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, New Relationship Bliss, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings, Married WangXian, Honeymoon, Wangxian’s Baby Fever)

🔒 Building it back, stone by stone and seal by seal by KizuKatana (M, 134k, WangXian, WWX & Wen Remnants, WWX & Wen Siblings, canon-divergent, post cultivation war, nobody won, WWX starts out alone as a fugitive lone cultivator, then finds a home, then finds a family, not a reincarnation fic, just alternate reality where not everyone who was in original canon existed during the war, starting the cultivation world over from scratch, Found Family, Comfort fic, carving out a new safe home, First Time)

Birthday Party by waffles_4_breakfast (E, 102k, WangXian, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Sharing a Bed, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Slow Burn, Poison, Torture, Requited Unrequited Love, First Time, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Come as Lube, Bondage, Dom/sub Undertones, Spit As Lube, Rimming, Consensual Non-Consent, Safe Sane and Consensual, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

🔒 and having a marvelous time by varnes (E, 108k, WangXian, Yúnmèng Siblings, Sound of Music AU, (i know!!! i know. stay with me on this.), Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Family Feels, spies to lovers???, Protective Siblings, Sometimes You Just Want Your Dads To Admit They’re Your Dads, Angst with a Happy Ending)

A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 163k, WangXian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Genius WWX, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Angry WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell WangXian, Idiots in Love, Requited Love, Requited Unrequited Love, Soft WangXian, Married WangXian, Soulmates, Not Cultivation World Friendly, Immortal WWX, Canon-Typical Violence, Not JC Friendly, Not Yunmeng Jiang friendly, not gusu lan friendly, Immortal LWJ)

A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Getting Together, First Time, Pining while fucking, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Angst with a Happy Ending, CQL Verse, almost everybody lives/almost nobody dies, epistolary-ish, canon-ish side pairings, radishes)

Just go forward like you mean it by tawaen (M, 101k, WangXian, WWX & WN &WQ, WWX & JYL, NHS & WWX, Canon Divergence, WWx does not attend the Wen indoctrination, WWX saves Lotus Pier, Inventor WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, Sect Leader JYL, JC Has No Golden Core, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, Not JC Friendly, but he gets a happier ending than canon so don’t look here for bashing)

A Thousand Things by tickertape (M, 108k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, WWX Isn’t Adopted by the Jiāngs, Developing Friendships, lots of OCs, miscommunication and misunderstandings (they’re idiots your honor), Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Slow Burn)

Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX)

the problem with authority by isabilightwood (M, 139k, wangxian, qingli, Canon Divergence, Sacrifice Summon, slightly dark!JYL, wq lives because i said so, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chronic Pain, Mild Sexual Content, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, manipulative relationship (background xiyao))

🔒 Cultivating immortality by KizuKatana (E, 231k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Mutual Pining, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, unreliable narrator, Found Family, First Time, novel canon relationship dynamics) Besides Madam Yu being a bit more comically evil than in cannon, I feel Wangxian were pretty in character for the cannon divergence and afterwards.

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 887k, WangXian, WIP, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Getting Together, Supportive LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Supportive LXC, Canon Divergence, Inventor WWX, Possessive LWJ, Cultivation Sect Politics, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Fluff and Smut, Burning of the Cloud Recesses, Fall of Lotus Pier, Angst, Sunshot Campaign, Not JFM Friendly, split into parts, Part 1 complete, Part 2 complete, Original Character(s)) They start off pretty in character and any deviations are pretty well explained by the situation, or can be completely interpreted as a consequence of shown off screen actions. Like I’ve read most all of this fic, and for a while now I’ve gotten the feeling wangxian wasn’t the only one affected by LQR’s rifling through the Lan’s “possibly dangerous artifacts room”. But the author’s actually really good at keeping the characters 1 feeling like human beings and 2 capturing the original feeling of the characters even when the au goes in a wildly different direction than cannon does.

~*~

12. Hello and happy New Year!! I've been following this page since it's infancy but I've never asked before, and decided to finally give it a shot. (Hopefully I'm doing it right.) :D

I was hoping you could recommend fics.

A) Any fics where WWX raises LSZ from being a baby and they have a deep connection with each other. Best if WWX doesn't die or have to leave. Similar to their relationship in "Edge of Night" by Hobbsy3. (Doesn't have to be Single Dad WWX)

B) Also, looking for any fic where WWX goes crazy. Similarly to the fic where LWJ dies and WWX goes mad trying to revive him, he does and eventually the fic ends with both of them passing at Cloud Recesses. (Unfortunately, I can't remember the name of the fic.)

Thank you so much for all your hard work in continuing this blog after Miss Mojo's retirement. (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

12A)

🔒❤️ kick at the darkness ‘til it bleeds daylight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (T, 75k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Inspired by The Parent Trap (1998), Kid Fic, teen shenanigans, two a-yuans, Fluff and Angst)

it’s a long road but we’re not alone by Stratisphyre (M, 61k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Parenthood, Grief/Mourning, Family Feels, Reunions, Golden Core Reveal, Getting Together)

🔒 how to make your dad fall in love with your high school teacher in five steps; the complete and bulletproof guide by ravenditefairylights (T, 90k, wangxian, modern, coffee shop au, nonbinary LSZ, hurt/comfort, trauma, past abuse, past domestic violence, healing, hurt WWX, found family, hospitalization, therapy, single parent WWX, pining, teacher LWJ, unreliable narrator, chronic pain, queer platonic relationship, genderfluid WWX, autistic LWJ, fluff & angst)

my little love by mellowflicker (T, 54k, WangXian, Modern AU, Single Parent WWX, kindergarten teacher!lwj, Kid Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Pining)

Picture Perfect by manaika (M, 22k, WangXian, WWX/Other(s), Past Relationship(s), Widower WWX, Grief/Mourning, Getting Together, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Stepfather WWX, WWX is the father who stepped up, LSZ is a Wei, Single Parent WWX, Asexual Character, Aromantic Relationship, Platonic Life Partners, it's all in the past and only mentioned/discussed when relevant, Sex-Favorable Asexual WWX, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Modern, Past Character Death, Food Intake Related Medical Issue (not what you think))

And They Were Quarantined by thunderwear (E, 3zun, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, NHS & LWJ, quarantine fic, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, LXC is a total slut for his roommates and he isn't even trying to hide it, Eventual Smut, Mutual Pining, Sexual Tension, Getting Together, Single Dad WWX, Long-Distance Relationship, kind of??, Fluff, almost no angst, Happy Ending, First Time, Phone Sex, switching POV, Domestic Fluff, Rabbits, little a-yuan is the best, Anxiety Attacks, Touch-Starved, LWJ gets his hug!, And Then Some ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ), a-yuan is best boy, A-Yuan is an agent of chaos and everyone thinks its cute, And they're right …but not for long?, NHS should never be trusted alone with kids)

~*~

13. Hi again, you wonderful people, you! Thank you so much for all your hard work! ITMF post-canon fics where for some reason WWX has to perform Empathy in LWJ, and for the first time he sees the suffering LWJ went through in the 13/16 missing years. Bonus points if it causes him a ton of angst. @thegertie

~*~

14. Hi, ITMF for:

A) fics where Wei Wuxian uses other weapons apart from the sword or flute (not once off either, at least using the other weapon 2 or 3 times)

B) fics where Wei Wuxian has an animal companion, preferably crows/ravens but other animal will do as long as they are prevalent

Thank you mods and community for the hard work!! Have a lovely day <3 @nyankokoko

14B)

Your love gives me Wings by SaiaiSaiko (M, 27k, WangXian, WWX Lives, MXY Lives, Winx Club Fusion, Enchantix Form, Sirenix From Winx Club, Believix From Winx Club, fairy WWX, Witch WWX, Curses, bad health, Bad Health through Curses, Spiritual Tools are Pixies, Accelerated Aging, older looking WWX, Fairy NHS, BAMF WWX, BAMF NHS, WWX in WWX's Body, JZX Lives, NMJ Lives, JYL Lives, The following tags contain spoilers, Evil JGS, Trans MXY, Self-Discovery, Misgendering, Victim JGY, Curse Breaking) is a winx club fuion where Wei Wuxian does have his fairy animal

Tamer of Darkness and Ghosts by SaiaiSaiko (T, 16k, WangXian, WIP, Pokemon Fusion, Older WWX, Younger LWJ, Older LXC, Basically everyone is older but LWJ & NHS, Younger NHS, BAMF WWX, The Wen's live, YLLZ WWX, Burial Mounds Settlement Days) ok 14 is shameles self promotion and wierd, so take it or leave it but Tamer of Darkness and Ghost is a full on Pokemon fusion WIP

🔒 A Heart Undying by NonsensicalRambling (M, 114k, WangXian, Undead WWX, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical dead things the burial mounds, Fix-It of Sorts, Canon Divergence, Eventual WangXian, No Yīn Tiger Seal, Morally Gray WWX, Animals Eating People, WWX’s questionable choices, Morally conflicted LWJ, Oblivious WWX, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei, YLLZ WWX, Sect Leader WWX, LWJ & WQ have an Understanding)

Run Off The World by Sapphire_Roses (M, 336k, wangxian, XuanLi, SongXiao, WIP, Not Everyone Dies AU, Canon Divergence, Wen Remnants Live, Flashbacks, YLLZ WWX, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei Sect, Sect Leader WWX, Married WangXian, OCs, POV Outsider, Morally Grey Characters, (Do Take That Tag Seriously), Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Developing Friendships, Fluff, Attempt at Humor, Yunmeng Siblings Feels, Gusu Siblings Feels, Sibling Bonding, Pining, Character Study, Tenderness, Mild Smut, POV Alternating, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Minor Character Death)

Odd Geometry by maziodyne (M, 116k, WIP, WangXian, ChengSang, XuanLi, QingLi, background NieLan, AU - WWX does not grow up in Lotus Pier, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiangs, Elemental Magic Healer!WWX, Sunshot Campaign, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Slow Burn, letter writing, romance, flirting at inopportune times, Crows, Familiars, Homoeroticism, epic divorce incoming, triple agent wq, lockpicking, communication (but does it change anything?))

~*~

15. hi! ITMF some fics in which WWX has a medical problem that impacts him a lot. Can be modern or canon. @nao13th

Lay my body down by tawaen (M, 48k, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, wangxian, WWX & JYL, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Eventual WangXian, No Golden Core Transfer, Not Cultivation World Friendly, Canon-Typical Violence, Not JC Friendly, What if WWX saw the first siege of the burial mounds and said Nope to the war, OCs, OC point-of-view for one chapter for plot reasons)

The River Brought You Here by ChilianXianzi (Not Rated, 11k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, POV Outsider, Amnesia, not JC friendly, Past abuse, Strangulation, Found Family)

And They Have Escaped The Weight of Darkness by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Screw the Cultivation world tbh, The Lan precepts deserves better, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Social justice boyfriends wangxian, Happy Ending)

Work in Tandem by MimiSpearmint (E, 23k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Single Parent LWJ, when you just want disability-led sword lessons for your child, swordflight instructor!wwx, swordflight instructor!lwj, Fluff, give lwj friends agenda, Protective LWJ, Getting Together, Intercrural Sex, Choking, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Implied off-screen D/s negotiations)

misunderstood ‘verse by sysrae (M, 7k, WangXian, Modern, College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, getting hit by cars, Past Child Abuse, Friends to Lovers, Abusive YZY, Caring LWJ, Injured WWX, partial hearing loss, the real OTP is everyone x therapy)

🔒 some things go forward by everythingispoetry (T, 73k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hospitals, Teenage Drama, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending)

Come Around and Stay by trippednfell (M, 160k, WangXian, NieLan, Slow Burn, Kid Fic, Found Family, Modern AU, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, PTSD, Blood and Injury, Dissociation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Musicals, POV Alternating, Baking, Yunmeng reconciliation (eventually), Friend Zoning, Literal Sleeping Together, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks)

Like a Water-Worn Stone by meyari (T, 41k, wangxian, major character death, Hurt/Comfort, very little hurt, lots of comfort, Chronic Illness, Serious Injuries, Self-Medication, Disability, PTSD, Depression, Self-Worth Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, aftermath of war, Aftermath of Violence, Prisoner of War, Identity Issues, Warning: Jīn Guāngshàn, enslavement (discussion of), abuse (discussion of), actually very fluffy despite the warnings)

~*~

16. heyo, are there any fics where its like modern or something and Wei Wuxian is dating Lan When but has trouble communicating with Lan When because every time he does something, he feels like he messes up but lan Zhan just loves him no matter what? Please let me know, please and thank you😁 @yasssbassss

Wei Ying and Lan Zhan are not dating in all of these but I think they have the communication issues you're describing: The Mistletoe Virgin by Vamillepudding (G, 12k, WangXian, Modern AU, Romantic Comedy, Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Deaf LWJ)

Not Just Netflix and Chill (Or Lan Zhan’s Lack of Grasp of Euphemisms) by misscam (M, 4k, WangXian, Modern, Getting Together, Humor, Romance)

Grace and a tender hand by feyburner (T, 4k, WangXian, Modern, First Date, Sickfic, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Fluff)

🔒 California Here We Come (Right Back Where We Started From) by LizzyPanic (M, 23k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, Getting Together, Misunderstandings, Communication, Breaking Up & Making Up, Miscommunication, Pining, Modern , America, Break Up, Insecurity)

~*~

17. Haloo!! I read accross the street to another life like a month ago and i can't get over it 😭��� Could you pls recommend a fic similiar?? Thanks in advance!!! @for13years-i-play-inquiry-foryou

Mask by BurningTea (M, 30k, WangXian, Rape/Non-Con, Non con tag refers to activity between WWX and LWJ which WWX believes to be consensual, Bottom LWJ, War Prize LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Canon Divergence, dubcon) Lan Zhan is captured and controlled by the Wens, similar to Across the street to another life. Please mind the tags on Mask, though.

Turn Left by kianspo (M, 204k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, LWJ & XXC, LXC/NMJ, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Friends to Loverse, ventually, references to child sexual abuse, not main characters, Canon-Typical Violence, Neurodivergent LWJ, LXC is the best brother, Slow Build, Lan Family Feel, Twin Jades of Lan Feels, LWJ-centric, Twin Jades of Lan Dynamics, basically a lot of twin jades in a wangxian fic, Not Everyone Dies, Angst with a Happy Ending, they switch your honor) It's similar to Across the street to a different life in that Lan Zhan is kidnapped at a young age and leads a very different life from what is expected.

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @/mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[spngraphics-archive]

SPN ABC's April Challenge

This month's creation challenge is simple: each day from April 5th - April 30th will be devoted to one letter of the alphabet. And you are invited to create any type of graphic or gifs pertaining to something SPN related with that letter.

For example: For letter "A" you could make a graphic of Abaddon, or a gifset of various SPN Angels, or a collage of multiple characters whose names start with "A", or a moodboard for a pairing whose ship name starts with "A", etc etc.

What Can You Make?

Any type of graphic! Edits, manips, moodboards, picspams, collages. Gifs are also accepted, though we'd like to see gifsets that play creatively with color, layout / form, typography, and/or textures.

Letter Prompts + Dates

While this is a monthly "challenge", please do not feel pressured to do every single day.

Additionally, these dates are not hard "deadlines." We'd like to see whatever creations you make, whenever you make it!

April 5th: Letter A (ex: Anna, Amara, Adam, Angels…) April 6th: Letter B (ex: Bobby, Bela, the Bunker…) April 7th: Letter C (ex: Cas, Claire, Charlie, Cassie…) April 8th: Letter D (ex: Dean, Death, Demons, Donna…) April 9th: Letter E (ex: Eileen, Emma, Ellen, the Empty, Enochian…) April 10th: Letter F (ex: Fergus, Famine, Faith, Fire…) April 11th: Letter G (ex: Gabriel, Gadreel, Garth, Ghosts, God…) April 12th: Letter H (ex: Heaven, Hell, Hannah, Hael, Home…) April 13th: Letter I (ex: the Impala, Ishim, Illusions…) April 14th: Letter J (ex: Jack, Jo, Jody, John's journal…) April 15th: Letter K (ex: Kevin, Ketch, Kelly…) April 16th: Letter L (ex: Linda, Lisa, Lebanon, Lily Sunder…) April 17th: Letter M (ex: Mary, Missouri, Meg, Michael…) April 18th: Letter N (ex: Naomi, Novaks, Nephil, Nightmare…) April 19th: Letter O (ex: Oskar, Optimism, Ouroboros, Ostium…) April 20th: Letter P (ex: Patience, Purgatory, Prophets, Psychics…) April 21st: Letter Q (ex: Queen of Hell) April 22nd: Letter R (ex: Rowena, Ruby, Raphael, Rufus, Reapers…) April 23rd: Letter S (ex: Sam, Sarah, Scoobynatural, Shapeshifters…) April 24th: Letter T (ex: Tessa, Toni Bevell, Tyson Brady...) April 25th: Letter U (ex: Uriel, Undead, Unhuman Nature, Unity...) April 26th: Letter V (ex: Victor, Vampires, Vessels...) April 27th: Letter W (ex: Winchesters, Werewolves, Witches…) April 28th: Letter X (Ex's / Divorce arcs or Wild Card) April 29th: Letter Y (ex: Yellow Eyes, Young Version of characters...) April 30th: Letter Z (ex: Zachariah, Zanna, Zombies...)

Rules

🚫 NO AI generated content. 🚫 NO incestuous or adult/minor relationships. 🚫 Goes without saying but, no hateful / bigotted content. 🏷️ Please tag any NSFW content accordingly. 🏷️ Please tag for any additional content warnings.

🌟 Additionally please @ us or use our tracked tag #spngraphics-archive so we can see and reblog your creations!

[what-if-i-just-did]

Oooh I did exactly this for a whumptober prompt... part of a larger story but works on it's own, go read it!

Set Up For Failure

There's something that I love about a Whumpee pathetically trying to get away, crawling along the ground, propelling themselves with just their arms. The effort that hurts the muscles, the helplessness, the movement like that of a weak and useless earthworm as Whumper walks calmly towards them, enjoying the sight of that desperation.

[darkdemeter]

Dem!!!demy!!! My bestie

This idea has been going around the ol' nogging for a little. But part 2 of A Warriors Armor (punk!human) where the human has been making the horsemen their own punk vests as a way to Keep themself sane. (I imagine this especially applies to death's human after he yeets himself to the well of souls).

I Also imagine that their human takes their measurements with like...a maker measuring tape/hj(everything's easier when you use the maker measurement system,aka: everything is "fuck you" big)

And the horsemen's reactions are priceless. Their little human adopted them into their punk pack??(and maybe its about time they confess)

As always take ur time,Im sure you have a lot on your hands!!

(Pd: looking forward to dark feathers SO MUCH. but take as long as you need!!!/gen)

-Jeri🧡

・issue #2・ STYLE OF WARRIOR II

⚤ Death/Strife/Fury/War x GN Punk!Reader just fluffy content with some angst ✎ 2.6k

✎ a note from the author, Death: throws himself in the well of souls Me, remembering your fic: T R I G G E R E D hahahahha! yes I still get all emotional and upset when I even think about that fic! I gotta read it again.... 😂 here you go, Jer, part 2 for your punk request!

↳ MASTERLIST | ↳ TAGLISTS ────────────────────────

For your dearest Horseman, you'd do all you humanely could to achieve what they asked of you. You'd brave the depths of hell, you'd face off the vanguards of the White City in protest of their declared 'holiness'.

But you never expected this.

DEATH

Having finally taken his measurements, it's all about fitting it to him nicely. precisely... no nasty points--

"Human," Death snarls after you jab him with the needle for the fourth time in a span of 30 seconds. It's not your fault that every time your fingers linger so close it's like his presence possesses them to tremble with violent impulse. And every time you do accidently poke him, you wince and apologise, but at this point, you may as well just stab him with the damn thing if he's going to keep carrying on like a ragged animal being prodded at intentionally.

"Then stay still," you breath back easily and roll your eyes. The insufferable nature of this reaper sometimes. Alright, you may have had to convince him a little but overall, this was his idea - his request. You're just being a good companion.

Placing the needle between your lips, you say, "I'm almost done. Back a little straighter." Your words are muffled but he overhears the tone of it and its enough for him to suffer through the remainder of his fitting in relative, blessed silence; just the way you both like it. Your eyes occasionally lift up to try and capture his expression, no matter how pointless it is with that mask, you can read the eyes at least. His gaze is elsewhere and you decide not to intrude on his thoughts.

You work better when he's not watching you with the eyes of a looming hawk anyway. You weave the last thread through the tiny hole and begin to stitch the final adjustments of his vest, but that's putting a fashion term nicely and you humour him just this once. He didn't exactly want a tradition vest like you due to the nature of his skill set and you obliged in his request, but you still kept some semblance of a vest-like quality to your craftmanship. The design ended up being a sort of an additional shawl that draped over his shoulder, but with a little artistic flare, you made the shoulder portion imitate torn sleeves.

"Are you almost finished?" he asks, almost causing you to flinch and lose control of the needle's point again. With a sigh, you nod. "Almost. Just a little stitch here... and a bit there-- and done!"

You step down off the stool because yes, he refused to crouch down to your level. Stubborn old bastard but you care about him nevertheless. You balance on the heel of your foot, nervousness flickering through the fluster of your beating lashes and the way you awkwardly angle your head down.

"What'cha think?" You suddenly take an interest in the very long, sturdy leather strip you used as a measuring tape. Alya's measuring tape.

"Hmm... I like it."

His confession could have come in an assortment of ways, and you're kind of confused by it still, but his embrace was comforting. "And I like you too."

You've never forgotten that compliment or that confession. The way it brightened your mood and turned your lips into a large smile. You'll always remember the way his eyes smiled down at you, applauding your work in the new addition of his attire.

That's what you think about as you stitch up the patches and sew new relics and decorations into the black fabric. Tears in your eyes, you find it hard to not jab your own fingers, wincing every few seconds when the sharp sting of your needle bites venomously. Now you know just how poor Death felt being pricked by you. Fond memories that now turn dark in this hour.

He's gone now. Sacrificed his very being to revive your species and to spare War a punishment to a crime he did not commit. He gave it back to you before his encounter with the avatar of corruption - his once brother, Absalom. By the time you managed to pry open the doors of the chamber, all that remained on the ground was the placid face of bone, sockets void of that vibrant amber you adored with secret fondness.

You're not sure if he will ever come back or the fate of War for that matter. The tears blanket your vision with a thickness that hinders your work, forcing you to stop. At this point, you're needlessly sewing and threat into it, reminiscing in every little detail and every tiny sensation that travels through your fingers. You begin to wonder as you lower the garb into your lap, haunted by a loud, audible sniffle, if Death knew what his fate was and that's why he finally indulged in your little scattered hints.

You'll wait for him. You'll keep adding these stitches and touch ups until the reaper returns. However long he may find rest in the well, you will wait for him.

STRIFE

The gunslinging Horsemen truly was a marvel at times. Not only did it take him exactly 48 hours to ask you if you would perhaps consider making him a punk vest. Suffice to say, your affirmative answer earned you a bone-crushing hug and a plethora of 'thank you's thereafter. Strife was excited right from the get go and eager to help you find the perfect material that was both strong and big enough to make a vest made for his size. Now to get a form of measurement...

"Alright, arms out, chest out and shoulders back."

He does exactly as you say and maybe a little too well. You take a rough estimate of his limbs and body proportions and when you ask, "Do you want me to make any alterations so it's more... suited for... y'know, your work?"

He shakes his head and his golden eyes flare with a giddiness. "Nope. Just like your one."

Eyes blinking rapidly, you take a short moment to compose your surprise. "Right. Okay then, let's see what we can do about that."

It takes a considerable amount of days but you finally get your hands on the perfect fabric and thankfully, you find some other suitable patterns and clothing to add to it and give it that punk flare. Strife particularly adores this one stripe of pattern that decorates the hem of your vest and so you do your best to replicate it, even going the extra mile in finding a similar pattern to it.

During your small sessions of camp and in your adventurous search for a measuring tape suited for his size, he watches you with that same excitement, almost fawning over your work right there and then, eyes blending to the fire's glow.

"Uh, hello? Earth to Strife." The Nephilim with spiked hair finally awakens from his dreaming stupor and addresses you. You can sense the sheepish smirk behind his mask. "Sorry, where you saying something?"

Your lips fold back into a slight grin as you shake your head. "Nah. Nothing important."

He's in awe of the delicate handle you have with the needle but fucking hell, does he whine when you so much as graze him with the needle point.

"Ow!"

"Quit your whining, I barely pricked you."

"Still... that hurt," he grumbles and you snort a little at that. His visor set aside, you're given full view of his expression which is both a good and bad thing. For one thing you can admire his handsome features, but the other means you can tell exactly what he's thinking. From the slack and slight of his brows and to the bevel between, all the way down to the small dimples that form in his cheeks with a deepened smirk.

"It's good you found a measuring tape for me," you say behind a chuckle, actually taking in just how long it was... "Where did you say you got it from?"

"I, er... found it." His reasoning doesn't add up and his eyes avoid yours.

"Yeah, that's a way to not sound suspicious, Strife." You continue to press the needlework into the craft, adding unique little strips of stitches and filling in any alterations and requests on the way. When you want him to be still, he's like a statue. Which is every tailor's dream client. You remember the countless times your mother complained about her clients being unable to stop fidgeting. Of course, Strife has his moments where he can't help it, but with a warning glare and threatening poise of the needle, he's on his best behaviour until you're done.

Indeed a very traditional vest and to say he wears it well is an understatement. It's like he was meant to be a punk. All he was missing was the vest. With a grin, you take a step back and allow him his space to take in the garment, waiting with batted breath.

"So?" you finally press to ask. He twirls around before stopping hot on his heels with a loud skrrt, flashing you with his signature finger guns and winks.

"It rocks! By the way, you know we're a couple now, right?"

Your jaw goes slack and your eyes increase tenfold in their blatant stare up at him, your face becoming flushed with a certain heat. "W-what?!"

FURY

"You know, you'd probably make a really kickass punk queen - if that was in our culture."

Could you have flattered her more? Here you go again, yapping on about how well her hair suits the culture and how she should think on it at least. It does get a bit boring sometimes when you're the only punk left in the world. After a few nights of noticing your considerable moping, she bit the bullet and upon preparing to leave the next morning, she caves in.

"Would you... like to make me a punk vest?"

With a gasp, you turn towards her in a way that causes her to flinch out of instinct when something moves that fast. "Yes!"

The task now at hand of making Fury's vest is a memorable one. Whilst she slays the hordes of hell, the seven deadly sins and gains mutual alliances, there you are in the background of it all; collecting whatever cool scraps you can fashion together. It's not like she held the jaws of gluttony apart for you just so that you could get that piece of textured fabric. It's a very beautiful piece of studded leather.

Back in the safety of Haven, Ulthan happily allows you to use the maker's measuring tape to your heart's content. Not that he really uses it much, rather knowing his know-how off the tip of his experience but to the younger maker, it could be more useful.

"Ugh, this is taking too long," Fury sighs.

With a raise of your brow, you huff in reply, "It's only been twenty minutes."

Fury only rolls her eyes but she lets you continue. You do well not to get her with the needle, only having done it once and she threatened that it'd be the last if you did it again. And so you go about her vest with the utmost care, cautious about how far your depth goes and where your needle point is aimed at all times.

"Look at you!" Jones taunts from the other side of Haven with a wicked waggle of his fingers, mimicking a playful, mischievous wave. In return, you do the same such to Fury's dismay. It says as much by the slow turn of her head in your direction, the milky whites of her glowing, Nephilim eyes glaring down on you.

Your lips pull into a thinned line and you continue your work in silence, carried on only by the sternness of her gaze that occasionally swept over you. When you finally finish her vest off, you feel a sense of relief that it's finished. Sighing, you gesture for her to have a move about in her new vest, to take it in.

"Ey? Ey?" you hum. It's not your fault that with each passing second you become more consumed by the thought of seeking her approval. Not very punk of you but for the longest time now -- and maybe because of your crush on the female Horseman -- but you have become obsessed with her opinion and moreso, her approval of the punk culture.

"Humans and their pathetic utility to craft such--" she pauses, and then slowly turns. She's observing the vest, now she's look at it closer... and she smiles!

Victory!

"This is actually... rather well made," she says, voice soothing and laced with an impressed purr. Then her eyes meet yours and you feel your heart melt, your chest swelling as the heat in your face surfaces. "I love what you did. I think you were right, I would make an excellent punk."

WAR

To make a vest for War would be putting an extreme limit on his capabilities. Besides, you'd be stitching that thing together for the remainder of your days with the way he throws himself into harm's way and dashes right towards it like a beast on the loose.

So you have to improvise. You decide to pin it here, cinch it there and around the shoulder to connect to the pauldrons and there you have it: a shawl that he can add over the top of his red one. It took many days and many sleepless nights by the fire's light to see what you were doing and your fingers are covered in tiny dots and a few makeshift bandages. But to you, it was worth it. It kept your spirits up and it made dealing with the whole end of the world thing easier to cope with when you have a personal project to work on. And War would watch you, observant but distant.

And finally, time for the final adjustments. When you first measured War, you'll admit - it was a very big undertaking to make him a punk vest. But the way his eyes looked at you like a shy puppy as he softly asked, almost mumbling his words as if unsure of how to present such a question.

You couldn't say no! So you pushed that overwhelming sense of dread when you realised just how big of a canvas you were working with. You would do this for him, to let him have his own piece of the culture and allow him to be a part of it.

By no means did he become impatient. Or at least he didn't show that side of him, but every now and then he'd check in and finally when it came time for his final fitting, you caught the slight blush on his cheeks as he stood still for you.

For the few times you accidently poked him with the needle, apologies poured out of your mouth as if you injured the most precious thing in the world, only for him to brush aside your doting concern. You'd shake and tremble a little out of worry that you'd hurt him.

"There! all done," you announce and brush a hand over your brow as you take a step back to analyse your work. "You look amazing, War!"

"You truly think so?" he asks, his voice unsure. He looks at himself however much he's able to. It's not until you direct him over to an old store window, allowing him to gauge his reflection in the splintered window.

"See?"

"Your craftsmanship is one of a kind."

You stumble over a sentence of half stringed words. Even to you they were unintelligible and so you sweep some hair that fell over your eyes away with a sheepish smile. "Thank you. Do you like it? I know it's not a traditional vest like mine, but I tried my best to keep in theme. I didn't wanna comp---"

His lips caress the delicate space between your hairline and your words immediately cease.

"I adore it. Thank you."

[schrodinger-swriter]

Hazbin Fluff alphabet

Greetings, in between requests I've decided to give this little... thing.. a go! I want to give credit to my friend @the-s1lly-corner for giving me the idea, and for allowing me to use their list as a reference.

To keep things easy on my end, I only ask that you only use one character per ask with a maximum of 9 letters per ask. Of course, you can send in multiple; this is mostly to limit how long a post is and because I feel this will be easier on me if I kept it to one character.

Other than that you may request to your hearts desire!

Only character off the table is Valentino. Not all characters are tagged, but it's not exactly a limit of who I will and won't write for. If there is any additional character I do not feel confident or comfortable writing for I will let it be known.

A- ATTRACTION (What they look for in a partner/find desirable, their type)

B- BONDING (What activities do they do with their partner?)

C- CUDDLING (How do they feel about it? Who's big/little spoon?)

D- DATES (What does a romantic night look like for them? Do you stay in or go out?)

E- EMOTION (How emotional are they in the relationship? Do they wear their heart on their sleeve or pick up a cool and collected mask?)

F- FAMILY (Do they want children? If so how many?)

G- GIFT GIVING (What gifts do they bring to their partner? What gifts do they like receiving?)

H- HARSH (How often do you two get into arguments or misunderstandings? Who tries to patch things up first?)

I- INJURY (How do they cope when their partner gets hurt? Are they able to care for their partner? Or if the roles were reversed, would they want their partner to take care of them?)

J- JEALOUSY (How jealous do they get? How do they handle it?)

K- KISSES (Their favorite place and way to kiss you, and their favorite place to be kissed)

L- LOVE LANGUAGE (How they show their love)

M- MARRIAGE (Do they wanna get married or are they content with a long term relationship? Marriage isn't the end all be all, after all)

N- NO (What are their deal breakers? What can and will break the relationship apart?)

O- ODDITY (What are their quirks or habits?)

P- PET NAMES (What do they call you? What do they like to be called?)

Q- QUESTION (Curiosity! What common questions do they ask you?)

R- RISK (How far are they willing to go for you?)

S- SHH (What/How many secrets do they hold?)

T- TUNES (Your song! What song do you guys associate with the relationship?)

U- UPSET (What is it like when one of you are upset? How do you cheer the other up?)

V- VALENTINE (How is the holiday spent?)

W- WARRIOR (How they feel about you working alongside them in their work/fighting)

X- X-RAY (How well can they read you?)

Y- YEARN (How do they cope with separation, if they struggle at all?)

Z- ZZZZ (What's it like to share a bed with them?)

[what-if-i-just-did]

Hi! Do you maybe have picrews of your other OCs too, besides Amber?

Yes, I do! I'm assuming you mean from Guilt & Revenge? How about I show you the whumpers? Here's Eileen:

Here's Hugo:

Here's Paul:

Here's Mercedes:

There's more, of course, for other characters.

[what-if-i-just-did]

hmmm well Amber is genderfaun & queer but he's still a white amab that uses he/him so idk if that counts

honestly there needs to be more diversity in whump

mainly because i'm sick of hearing about people's cis white male whumpees HAVE SOME ORIGINALITY

when all your whumpees look the same its rly hard for me to care about any of them

if you have a main whumpee who isn't a cis white male pleaaase comment or reblog with some infodumping bc i'd love to hear about them!

[podiumackles]

FORMULA 1 masterlist

to this i add published stories and the ones that are in my drafts. i will add a release date when i know one.

* = contains mature content

l a n d o n o r r i s

SERIES

Rare | in which they find themselves in a complicated situation after an unexpected encounter.

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE

IMAGINES

Unknown waters

in which they are about to get a new addition to their team, and they are going to have to find a way to sail through the unknown waters. together.

those three words

in which her wearing his hoodie leads to ultimate confessions, and she cannot get enough of hearing him say those three words.

paper rings*

in which they allow themselves to become undone in each other's touch, and enter a new phase of their relationship.

d a n i e l r i c c i a r d o

IMAGINES

us against the world

in which they babysit her nephew and he makes a confession that throws her slightly off guard.

all over again

in which the events of the last race lead to the need for each other's support, but it's mostly him that needs her.

c h a r l e s l e c l e r c

IMAGINES

tough winters

in which she caught a bad cold in the inevitable temperature of the strong winters, and he will do absolutely anything to be of service.

p i e r r e g a s l y

IMAGINES

please notice*

in which they give in to their unspoken temptations, and she allows the border of friendship to be broken.

[moineauwrite]

ᓚᘏᗢLynetteᓚᘏᗢ

𓆩 Romantic Alphabet 𓆪

This definitely took me a while! This is an alphabetical compilation of headcanons and mini-fics! My personal favourites are G and R! I'm enthralled by Lynette as of late so I hope you're all enjoying my content! I would appreciate a reblog, but it's not necessary ♡

Word count: 4110 (4.1k)

Affection

(Are they affectionate? How do they show it?)

★ The story of your love is mostly told by unseen, romantic gestures. Lynette knows you are something to flaunt, a priceless stature of her hidden adoration. So why instead does her striking ice gaze, which melts into vapour in your gentle hands, adorn her ivory face instead of your kiss? Lynette's reasons are equally as tender. Her felinus instincts and fatuus occupation instil a looming cloud of caution over each move she makes. If an opponent noticed her attachment, it may cause her some considerable issues - or worse, hurt you in the process. There's nothing that would pain her more, so she waits arduously to embrace you under the veil of shadows once more.

Bouquet

(Do they give you flowers? Which ones?)

★ Contrary to her flamboyant brother, Lynette has extremely heightened instincts and senses - this presents undeniable benefits, a watchful viola eye, and ears that can discern every whistle and song of the breeze. However, in her daily life, having a hypersensitive sense of smell has proved to be quite a hindrance. Certain perfumes, most flowers, and the majority of spices can cause her to sneeze uncontrollably - almost allergically. Nevertheless, this doesn't end her pursuit, down by the quiet riverbanks of Fontaine: there blooms lotuses after the rain that treat her senses kindly. Each time the hydro dragon cries and brings life to the buds, Lynette will be there to retrieve and present them to you. Emitting a recognisable sense of rain; the Pluie Lotus will always remind you fondly of Lynette.

Confession

(Did they confess first? What happened?)

★ Whisking you away from the bustling streets, towards the golden shore that welcomed glistening turquoise sea. Lynette sighs, her shoulders rising with tension before falling with contentment. Her viola eyes open and avert instantly to you, so intently gazing. Her voice seems calm, but occasionally wavers.

★ "(Name),"

★ You perk up from her serious tone, which causes her to retract, unable to read your reaction.

★ "Through the course of a few months.." Her voice trails off, her first clenches, and she collects herself. "I've fallen deeply in love with you." Lynette's eyes meet yours, emitting certainty and resolve. "Will you accept my feelings?"

★ Reciprocating was the easy part. Embracing her tenderly came naturally. The challenge was to build a strong foundation and blossoming relationship. As long as you dedicated as much as she did, it would work itself out.

Date

(Do they take you on dates? Where?)

★ Lynette is a firm believer that money will only get you so far, and as long as she's with you, the scenery is a benefit at best. That being said, there are indeed a few places she likes to take you with nice additions. Cafè Lucerne is filled with sweet desserts that make your eyes marvel and mouth salvate. Flavourful ice creams whisked with care and exported into delicious, appealing swirls. Warm cakes that rise so perfectly - their homemade scent appeasing the mind and lulling it into a comfortable state. Your exchanges only feel more intimate in moments where everything is peaceful and your mind is truly free.

★ Or maybe instead of relishing in the homely atmosphere of Lucerne, you choose to stroll in the beauty of nature. The fauna performs natural music as you explore the nation in all of its true glory. Leaving behind the grandeur and passion of the city, the quiet of the outskirts has much to offer.

Embrace

(What are your embraces like?)

★ Your embrace brought consolation to her stormy endeavours. Lynette Snezhevna was born of snow, a child of ice. Rumour has it her glare summoned blizzards that could freeze over fontaine. A childish prophecy, one you'd never witness as you brought her such contentment. You knew she didn't pursue touch and preferred to keep a reasonable distance from those she didn't connect with. She latched to you with such a desperate grip, as if you could disappear at any moment. Lynette had always been so fearful, so scared of being left behind and lost. You never asked why. Your hands drew waves of serenity as you lifted it and stroked her hair softly. Her shaking breath seems to be steady, and she appears to be drowsy. That's alright. Taking her hand and letting her trail behind you, she gazes at you with a feeling, a sentiment, that you can not recognise. You smile vibrantly, and she returns it with one of solace - the suns first rays being born from parting clouds and breathing life into the fields.

Flirt

(Do they flirt with you? What is it like?)

★ Magicians have a playing card for charm, but Lynette seldom aims to flatter; maintaining a tranquil and balanced head is something she had long mastered. Echoes of your voice often occupy her mind, intertwining like vines with petals of your memorable smile - your flaws? Thorns that flashed so dangerously, Lynette wasn't intimidated. Those thoughts embraced each other, forming into roses she reached for, yet could not touch. Instead, her itching hand reaches onto your cheek. Cupping your skin, so fine in her palm, as she delivers each thought to you. With their vivid, intimate descriptions, it indeed sounded like she was flirting. It was not her intention. Although the sight of your dreamy fluster satisfied her moreover.

Gifts

(Do they give you gifts? What are they?)

★ The House of Hearth was where Lynette found home; seeking refuge all her life with an aspired and ambitious brother, they both easily adapted to the comfort of a broken yet warm home. It had always been a rite of passage in the orphanage to never take anything for granted, never to be materialistic, and aim to be self-sustaining and independent. This was a sentiment Lynette had never left behind, and alongside her twin, they moved forward in the world and made a statement, made a name for themselves.

★ One had blossomed into a charismatic show-stopper, a mesmering star which glimmered with magic, a spellbinding voice almost impossible to ignore regardless of who you were or who you would become.

★ On the contrary, the sister sprouts into a talented mystery. Inconspicuous, observant, and unpredictable. Her presence felt almost hypnotising. Tantalisingly close before she would vanish from the spotlight. Lynette had become a recluse of sorts. Relationships were a gamble, and she was too responsible to participate in potential loss for the sake of money she seldom spent.

★ That was until she was wandering the streets with you, watching as your eyes lingered and shimmered at certain objects. She memorised each item and came back alone after preformances before she would meet with you. Prices were no issue for her. She loved to spoil you to every extent. The way your gratitude conveyed through your actions much louder than words felt like she was the one who truly received a gift every time.

Heart

(What did you do to win their heart?)

★ Accidents: a term as fluid as water, they can lead to a stream of mistakes or a river of inspiring miracles. Lynette had never intended to fall in love, especially not with you, her close friend - a dear companion she would leisurely rest with over uniquely brewed cups of tea. Your presence had become second nature to her, the way you were expressive, through illustrious creations- immersive in the way you spoke and recited tales of your life to her, never prompting her to speak, letting her indulge into a silence unweighted by expectation. The gift of having someone nearby, yet the option to be yourself; and still receive their alluring, accepting smile. From that day forth, you would catch her staring intently before shying away- veiling soft smiles behind intricate teacups, itching closer to you as she daydreamed. It always leads you to wonder: What is she dreaming about? Unbeknownst to you, all you needed to answer was a reflection.

⛾ !Tea break! ⛾

Have you ate yet today?

I love you

(How long did it take them to say it? Was it easy?)

★ Day to day, Lynette's serene presence felt refreshing like morning dew, natural and free like the wind flowing east from Mondstadt. In the spring, dandelion seeds adorn the sky, relishing in romance and laughter and breathing life to fairies. Flowers blossomed and dispersed pollen, beckoned bees, and all sorts of fauna forth from hibernation. fantastical scenery and clichè displays like this were expected of Fontaine, where each of your lives felt like a constant performance, where everyone had an equal part to play- This was justice. Aside from the scenic allure, Spring was when Lynette had told you she loved you for the first time.

It hadn't been easy for her. To admit that she had indulged too much in your enchanting presemce, let herself fall under your spell and grow attached to you, feel drawn to you like an ember of radiant sunlight. You had been spending that day together. It seemed ordinary. You had never expected your life to change that morning. But what was a magician - if not a bender of reality and a weaver of dreams?

Jealousy

(Do they get jealous, if so, how easily?)

★ Lynette is tranquil and slow to anger; especially envy. If you have grown to the extent of a relationship, she has already placed her trust within you completely. It would be nearly impossible for you to drive her to jealousy, her understanding and reason: making you feel protected and acknowledged. However, this doesn't rule out the possibility completely. A beauty such as yourself with the serene effect of the ocean and seraphic eyes seemimgly celestia born. You were a radiant angel, and to glow to bright would surely result in unsolicited admiration and attention. These situations are usually small antics- and when shown disinterest, they leave, and you can move along smoothly. Though, what happens when you meet someone who just won't let up? Lynette notices from afar, for once wishing you'd let go of your unfaltering kindness.

Your relationship is relatively hidden - only her family and your close bubble knew. Still, she can't help but scoff at the audacity and casually intercept. After luring you away from the lovestruck lonesome, she'll spend the entire day with you to reaffirm the destination of your love and the strength of hers.

Kisses

(Do they kiss you? What is it like?)

★ You grace Lynette's eyes, filled with shy desires and intent - with your knowing ones. Your quiet giggle of acknowledgement floods her senses without mercy, sparing no thought and no time to think. With an elegant step forward- the strands of her bow dance behind her romantically with the breeze. Carrying your sweet laughter, which brought to life fairies. Her lips gently graze against yours, if only for a moment. She waits for your reaction with anticipating, yearning hands, and as soon as you bring her back to you, her arms enclose you, her kiss encircle your mind. Short, sweet, and filled with passion. As if every time she pulls away, another sweet notion draws her to you once again. Between each kiss, she whispers sweet nothings to you, but to her, they were everything. It felt so real- but the way you felt to each other, like a dream.

Love Language(s)

(What are their love languages?)

Words of Affirmation

★ Lynette is succinct; astute and mellow, soothing to the soul. Her words, the sweet ones she whispers into your ear, are each filled with meaning and genuineness. Whether it be in times of contentness, serenity, or despair- she can bring you to sweet solace in a few words. Emanating a gentle petrichor; she brings spring rain in a drout. And as the droplets connect to each other like constellations in the sky, you take forth the blessing of Kusanali, the knowledge of the true blessing that is your relationship.

Quality Time

★ Your souls seem to align perfectly regardless of what you may do, wandering the alleyways of Fontaine, shielded from the warm embrace of the sun, you feed the gathering stray kittens occasionally nursed by Lynette. As they scurry into the court carefree and cared for- you may decide to follow the scent of fresh pastries which Lynette had so keenly coordinated, or upon Twilight as she prowls under the curtains of the dusky stage, leaving behind her splendor to meet you under the silver moon. and as you lay together in your favourite valley, you relax into a comfortable silence and drift off to the gentle waves of Fontaine's måntaga.

Moon, Sun and Star

(Which are they most alike to in your relationship?)

★ As you meet in the midst of twilight, the stars illuminate your trail, 'The stars shine dim compared to you.' she chimes, quietly delivering her thoughts to you; intertwined with sparkling, trusting eyes under space. Despite the tender grip she envelops with your hand, she maintains an intentional sedate pace. Leisurely - with all light comes darkness, and behind your dazzling illumination, she is your endearing shadow. Her galaxyspun irises scan the forestry surrounding you, examining the terrain with such percision as she draws ever nearer, as you wander into the dreams and nocturnal marvels that come to play with the stars, and relish under the umbra: Lynette will always be right behind you. Ensuing you and lulling you as does the brilliance of the moon.

Nicknames

(Do they use nicknames? What are they?)

★ Underneath the light, Lynette greets you with sweet casualties. 'Dear' is a prominent nickname in warm daylight, dulcet, and comforting underneath the jarring volume of vendors and passers-by. In less disguised settings, she will use your name, even so, her love shows equally. Your name leaves her lips with such contentment, a sweet tone befitting of an aubade under the golden sunlight. Her eyes speak words in the loving silence, and despite the fading audience, you're both eachothers focus, unable to drag your fond gazes from each other.

The day descends into a familiar darkness that warms your soul. You are both only accompanied by the ghosts of the night. Lying by her side as you draw constellations with eachothers coveting hands, she tends to call you 'My Lune' as your splendor rivals the moon. Tender exchanges always happen in the dark, where the simple-minded rest and lovers awaken.

Open

(How open are they with you? Do they tell you everything?)

★ Gossiping and soft laughter underneath the shadows of parasols was an ordinary occurrence, her ears missed almost nothing; and Lynette would tell you anything you wanted to know. As long as it doesn't leave you susceptible to harm. You think that she's an open door rather than a locked chain, and Lynette likes it that way. The Fatui is a blistering, unforgiving blizzard. A cold and forbidding business that would draw blood in the name of secrecy. One phrase is all it takes for you to be torn away like a speck of dust. The House of Hearth said nothing short of these merciless teachings. While she admires your intelligence and intuitive eyes, she cherises you enough to sustain your naivety. As her hand reaches over yours, you may think nothing of it. But to her, she swears an oath. 'I will always be here for you; as you are for me.'

Promise

(How loyal are they to you?)

★ Her loyalty is never in doubt. You were her first love and destined to be her last. Lynette seldom expresses interest in other people generally, preferring to daydream over hours unless absolutely necessary. The mere fact she had experienced intense forelsket with you was bewildering still - a miracle, like magic. She knows she can never replicate the adoration she feels from your melodic voice, the security she feels from your attentive eyes; the fulfilment she feels in your presence, and the longing she feels in your absence. It's irreplaceable. And with that, alongside everything, her brothers even seem to like you. Each factor you offer aligns perfectly. Your love was truly meant to be.

Quiz

(How much do they know about you? Do they remember what you tell them?)

★ Every last detail, no matter how passing or insignificant. You'll notice how her ears perk up each time she discovers something new about you. She hears your dreams, receives your wishes, and does everything she can to make them come true. In golden lit evenings, when she saunters to you with eagerness. Beaming proudly as you pull an item you dearly wanted, but had only mentioned once, out of her hat. With an elegant flick of her wrist, it lands back onto her head, wisping her hair aside in the wind as the breeze accompanies your jubilation. The water is a dreamy blue with the low albedo of the sunset, and she extends her hand to you, beckoning you to witness the endless colours of the sky, hand in hand.

Reminisce

(What is their favourite memory of you?)

★ Secluded from the troubles of life, so too was the sun hidden away, long descended behind the cloudy, misty skies of Fontaine. Tonight, the Hydro Dragon had taken a strike to its heart, as did Lynette- cupids arrow hypnotised her as she watched you twirl and sway in the rain, in unison with the pattering rain against virid leaves. You were soaked - your locks hugging your figure, tightly bound and flowing with rain like rivers. Even so, your steps did not hinder. Under the shadows of the trees, you can not see her fond smile - although it gleams like stars unseen in her viola, felinus eyes. 'Amateur.' She teases in her thoughts. Standing up and letting the branches collide, she struts down her runway of wood and leaps into the air- her picturesque silhouette outlined by the moon as she extends a hand to you, she twirls you and guides you into a long, mesmerising dance through the showering sky. Blessed by the soothing lull of your tango- Dragon tears fade into a lasting scent and a lasting memory that Lynette holds dear.

Song

(Is there a song that makes them think of you?)

Can you remember the rain?

-Garret Atterberry-

★ You seemed to linger like cheap perfume. She hadn't anticipated that you would show up at a time like this, teacup in hand and staring into the sunkissed streets of Fontaine; Cafè Lucerne was - for once- not bustling with peckish customers. Dawn had just graced, and Fontainians seemed to play an endless sleeping beauty. Her tea ripples with sugar, and the spoon stirs a warm whirlpool as she exhales - appreciating the solitude and soft jazz accompanying her, an unbothering melody. A sudden voice: a slow, beautiful one of a woman. She sings of tales of the past, in the rain and sentimentalities. Lynette eases into the music and close her freshly awoken eyes, thoughts of that night loop in her mind and she can almost feel your enchanting presence- a soft smile spreads and she conceals it behind the rim of her teacup. She still remembers your cold, doused touch beating with your warm heart. Do you remember? Can you remember the rain?

⛾ !Tea Break! ⛾

Have you drunk yet today?

Time

(How do they envision a future with you?)

★ Now, Lynette believes pondering and questioning the future is a waste of time. Everything is subject to change. Despite the ephemerality of life, she finds herself with small dreams that occupy her head in engulfing cycles. A storm which you seem to be the eye of, an eye for her to get lost in and find home in your arms. Lynette doesn't ask for much. Willing to discard the fame, the lights, the wealth, anything to keep her loved ones beside her. She wishes to breeze through life knowing she made the ones she cherishes happy, that while she lived to the fullest, so did they. Lynette yearns to wake up to you each morning in a familiar scene yet distinctive memory. She wishes so dearly to embrace you in the cold winters and dive in the warm summers. Lynette doesn't care about the necessary changes. So long as at the end of the day; Despite everything, there's still you, her family, and her, against the world.

Unintentional

(They've accidentally upset you, what do they do with this realisation?)

★ It is a rare occasion indeed, but an unfortunate necessity of progressing relationships. Her bluntness and incapacity to sugarcoat seemed like an ideal. When debating, each word was accounted to be honest and honourable. Perceiving the light, die in your eyes like embers, her own narrow to examine you closer. Although, to any onlookers, it may be falsely perceived as glower and stubbornness. A curious scenario that rewinds in her head like a record, when the conclusion finally makes sense after considering your viewpoint- she wastes no time. Regardless of her current position, Lynette hastens to you. Her presumption was right, as to be expected. If she believes her point was simply amiss: she will correct and clear up the miscommunication. Or if she believes herself to be wrong completely, a gentle blush dusts her cheeks as she apologises to you with all sincerity. Seeing the smile reach your eyes soothes her nerves, and now she aspires to return the favour over a serene cup of tea brewed with care and sweet amends. While her sudden appearances can be...inconvenient, you appreciate her devotion.

Vanity

(How do they dress around you?)

★ Appearence was another art of which Lynette had performed and perfected. In favour of maintaining a professional and proficient image, she wraps her silky tresses into a picturesque ponytail. Ruffles her skirt to sustain grace regardless of breeze or storm - From long ribbons, cute buttons, the tip of her elegant gloves, it is each individually considered to their maximum potential. While this was initially only for business, she notices how it influences the people around her. Even you who has grown to adore her amethyst eyes. As your relationship progresses, it may start with a lost bow, then a lost button and untidy skirt. Ultimately, you sit on the couch and brush through her loose, voluminous hair. She feels calm and relieved you seemed content or even pleased with her state. With this in mind- you may catch her in much more casualwear, but she still likes to look decent around you, at the very least.

Wild Card

(🂭 Random relationship headcanon 🂭)

★ Lynette had seldom reflected her brother; nor did she change her view. Lost within herself, she stared into the setting sun, the warm colours that radiated and coloured the sky made thoughts of you fester in her brain, she smiles contently as she remembers your face of bewilderment and glee at even the simplest trick. She wonders, she longs, to see how your eyes would shine at a real show. So that evening, Lynette reserved a seat, especially for you. After catching a simple glimpse of your awestruck expression- it enthrals her, her effort doubles, and her performances feature an extra twirl and elegant bow. A lotus resting in between your fingers or stowed behind your ear, her hair brushing through your hair so gently. The audience is none the wiser, Lynette's expression doesn't flinch. Though behind her eyes reflects romance and a desire to steal you away from the crowd, to another place far away. As the crowd applauds her stunning, poised movements. Lyney looks on with surprise, barely concealed by his preformative voice. Needless to say, after Lyney discovered your relationship, it didn't take long for you both to become well-acquainted and for you to be a welcome backstage guest.

Xtremes

(How far would they go for you?)

★ Lynette would walk through the infernos of Khaenri'ah for you. Her devotion knows no bounds. It's quite an achievement to match the level of importance as she values her family. The significance you hold in her life is no joke. To say she loves you dearly would be a drastic understatement. The intimate moments underneath shadowy trees, the wondrous hours underneath the stars, the bright days of laughter, and dark nights of reassurance all culminate into an unbreakable bond between two destined lovers. Despite any obstacle the universe dare test you with, it proves to be a sad attempt. You, and her. The definition of perfection is the meaning of soulmates. There's nothing you wouldn't do for her, and there's nothing she wouldn't do for you.

Yearning

(Do they miss you? How do they deal with it?)

★ Lynette defined self-suntaining and exemplary independence. When you told her, with a weighing heart, that you would be leaving for a while- she thinks nothing of it. Bidding you a farewell kiss and accompanying you to depature, she resumes as usual for the day and the next. And then suddenly, it changes. Soulful nights feel strangely ghostly and drag into sombre days. She looks into parlours with wistful eyes and recurring memories- knowing that if they had been beside her, they would look at the presentations with fondness. Wanting turns to longing, her performances hollow with knowing - your gnawing absence defines her dance and silences the audience with portrayal through her artistic tricks. Your disappearance felt like a cruel trick indeed. As she revists your depature point, eyeing Lumidouce bells which chimed for you, she would wait for you through twilight and daybreak.

Zzz...

(Do you rest together? What is it like?)

★ At first, Lynette spent your nights together composed and alert. Only once you had fallen to the grace of Morpheus would her own eyes start to droop, yet as time went on, your inviting smile- sultry, tired voice, longing eyes filled with hope and life, she fell for you, to temptation. She could not describe what it felt like as she lay with you that night, the warmth of the fire in an unforgiving winter. The feeling of touching the clouds without dispersion. Thoughts of you spun around her head until her eyes gently closed. As dusk ascended into a symbolic, pink dawn, her shy smile never faltered as you held her too in her dreams. Now, cat-naps have become a regular routine whenever the opportunity may arise.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! If you have any suggestions or questions, don't hesitate to let me know.

mꨄi

[pegafin]

AI Generated McMansions: Capybara Axolotl Viral House!

I once again asked the @mcmansionhell Discord chat what they wanted for the next house. Received the following, very specific prompt:

tiffany glass inspired atria with capybara and axolotl ponds in the conservatory

I knew this would be a challenge, and ran a high risk of turning out "awesome" and "good" instead of "atrocious" and "an abomination to God and architecture" like the content you've come to expect from this blog. Fortunately, I think I found a rather elegant solution...

📣Attention real estate community!📣 As we all know, millenials are horribly, horribly, gruesomely "un-aliving" home ownership, amongst other industries. The slaughter must be stopped. So today, Pegafin Realty brings you a house so young and hip--so on fleek--that millenials and gen zs will be left helpless and scrambling to get this house to slide into their dms for instagramable moments go viral!🤩

Located in TikToc, this 15 bed, 14 bath new built has it all! Dive into countless indoor water features, overflowing with #trending capybaras and axolotls. Share instagramable moments around every corner. There's something for everyone to smashthatlike!

The selfie foyer is so young, so hip, you will fleek your pants to the moon.

Step into one of the as-of-yet-uncounted Tiffany glass living rooms and see the truth:

The house is the pond 😱

i̶͖̠̬̱̹̖̎̋̈́̾̉t̴̢̏̄ ̸̤̲͍̋͐̊͝i̵̢̮̯̦̘̐͋̉̈́̇̈ͅs̸̪̈́̍͜ ̷̡̍̉̓͠ä̴̻̟l̶̢͔̱̙̗͐͑l̴̥̘͊͊͂̒͑͝ ̸͙͐͌͛͛͒̂͘ͅͅt̸̹̀͂̀̏̎̎̀h̶̢̖͇̏ë̸͖̥́̀̉̚͘ͅ ̷̨̤̹̙͇̺̩̣͗̎͂̀̿̔͒͘p̴̢͓͇̯͍͋o̶͉̩͖͋̔́́̈͗́͠n̵̖̥̦̫̘̣̪̞͌̀̚d̴̨͕͓̖̍͐̒̈́ͅ

p̵̥̳͑͑̕ ̴͙̙̯͈̭̆̚ȯ̸̡̬͇̳͓̥̍ ̶̣͐̀̓͊͝͠͝͝n̸͎̻̲̈́̕ ̵̞̘̮̬̳̖̉̾̀ḑ̶͕̬̙͍͒̎͋͆͒̚͝

The open-labyrinth concept kitchen is the perfect backdrop for any culinary influencer. Featuring only the finest, most delicate all-white countertops and fixtures for a clean, modern look, and built-in gelatin holes for that vintage flare.

To prep the food your family actually eats, experience the robust, mossy, slightly less all-white auxilary kitchen. T̶̜̾̅h̸̡͖͂e̴̼̋̆ÿ̶̰̗ ̴̣̂̍à̷͉̔r̸̎́ͅe̵̺͔̎ ̴̱̦̏͝w̴͕̞͑a̴̡͒t̴̗̗́c̵̠͋͝ḧ̷̨͔́i̸͕͌ń̵͈g̸̠͆̀ ̶̢̛̙̒ỹ̴̲̪o̶̢͇͂u̶͉̪͌̽ ̴̺͓̉c̵̥̯͐̿o̶̲͠ŏ̴̖ǩ̴ͅ.̷̱̈́

The dining room, and the axolotyl and/or capybara creature that lurks within.

The conversation pit

The master bedroom! Drenched in natural* light, and a thin layer of water. So fleek, so viral you'd swear there's real giant viruses floating on the ceiling and/or sky and/or the two dimensional space inside the window panes.

*Pegafin Realty is required by law to disclose that nothing about the land, subsurface, or air space on which this this property is situated is natural.

Master Bath Complex:

Additional bedrooms:

One room features a custom, built-in easter egg hunting green! Perfect for the kids 🤩

The 16* bathrooms are simply overflowing with all the most must-have Millenial and Gen Z bathroom things intended to hold liquid. Coin ponds, slime bins, soaking tubs, and receptacles so young and hip no human minds have yet to conceive of them! 🤩

*at the last count

Finally, we finish our tour in the Bathversation Pit. Prospective buyers are welcome to take a soak, take a selfie, and 🤩 be sure to tag us 👍 under penalty of u̶̼͛ň̷̝͎ï̷̭̒ṋ̷̢̏t̶͖̺̓e̷͓̗̔ĺ̷͙l̴̻̳̅̾i̶̪͌ģ̵͆͘i̵̡̓b̸̻̈̽l̴͚̑ͅé̸̮ͅ ̶̮͝!

So [instantly obsolete communication app no one asked for, but the investors were just soooo proud of themselves so lets let them have this, okay?😁 ] now and book your tour today!!!🥳😍🦫

***bookings only available through blockchain. Everything has to be blockchain, ya dingus---e v e r y t h i n g!!!🥴🤪