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sturns-angel · 6 months ago

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even when i’m not with you - m.s.

summary: while streaming, matt plays a song that secret!alt!gf showed him. when attempting to discretely shout her out for the music, he lets something slip. w/c: 1.1k no warnings! flufffff!

a/n: first postttt! i'm giggling and kicking my feet

my laptop is open and blasting music at full volume as i fold my clothes, cursing myself for letting it pile up this much. as i empty the basket of clothes, i hear my phone ping.

m🫀

streaming in 5 minutes if you wanna watch :)

i smile down at my phone and quickly text back, letting him know i’d definitely be watching.

matt and i have been dating for almost 6 months, but no one really knows. the only people that know are his brothers (obviously) and a few of our close friends. he likes to keep his personal life private and i don’t mind. of course, if he asked me to scream it from the rooftops i would do it without hesitation.

i quickly put my folded clothes away and put the basket back in the laundry room before rushing over to my laptop to log onto twitch.

i plop down on my bed, laying on my stomach and resting my chin in my hands.

“chattt!” chris’s scream blares through, causing me to wince a bit. “we’re back and we’re ready to have a fucking blast with you guys!” nick swats his hand towards his chest, hitting him lightly.

“stop fucking screaming, my god. not even a minute into this and we’re gonna get a noise complaint.” nick says, rolling his eyes.

my eyes fall to matt who is focused on the screen that sits right beside the camera, nibbling on his bottom lip. his attention is finally shifted as music starts to play and he readjusts his headphones.

“okay, what are we doing?” matt asks, looking over to his brothers who simply shrug in response.

“fortnite?” chris suggests and nick groans. “alright, what about fall guys?” he asks. they go back and forth for a minute, both of them getting increasingly annoyed.

my eyes stay fixed on matt who is reading chat, shouting out all the gifts, and pretty much just ignoring his brothers. i can’t help but laugh a bit when he looks up at the camera and rolls his eyes at chris and nick.

“fucking pick something! c’mon.” matt exclaims, throwing his hands up dramatically. chris and nick give each other a look before chris starts chuckling, mimicking matt’s previous dramatics.

“i don’t hear any suggestions coming from you, tough guy.” nick snaps back. “let’s just play dress to impress.”

after getting roblox pulled up, the boys switch seats leaving nick front and center to play first, chris right next to him, and matt sitting at the foot of his bed behind them. i shift around in my bed, leaning on my side and pulling my phone out of my pocket to mindlessly scroll through instagram.

about 15 minutes go by of the typical chaos that the boys create when i hear a familiar song start to play. i look back to the screen and see that it’s matt’s turn. i notice a small smile on his face as the song continues.

it’s a song i showed him the other day, even when i’m not with you by pierce the veil. we like some of the same music, but this side is usually something we don’t share an interest in. knowing that he liked it enough to add to his playlist makes my heart swell.

“matt, this outfit is making me nauseous.” nick grimaces at the screen and chris laughs, nodding his head to agree with nick.

“shut up. this is perfect.” matt mumbles. the time runs out and it goes to the judging. matt’s eyes scan chat and i can see a swarm of people freaking out over the song choice.

matt chuckles to himself and reads a chat out loud that was asking for the name of the song. “this is the song, chat.” he says as he drags the spotify tab into frame.

“yeah, matt’s been on that emo shit.” chris jokes. matt simply rolls his eyes and keeps reading the chat.

“as always, don’t listen to chris guys. a - um - a really good friend of mine showed me this song.” he fumbles on his words a bit and i can’t hold back the grin that creeps up. “yeah, i really like it so shout to them. love you-“ he abruptly stops and i feel my heart drop to my stomach. his eyes widen slightly, but enough for me to notice.

i know matt cares for me and i know he likes me, but we’ve never said that before. and now he’s just said it in front of thousands of people. obviously, they don’t understand the relevance of the moment, but i do. matt does. even his brothers.

they sit in silence for a couple seconds before matt quickly reaches forward and mutes his mic.

matt’s pov

“oh, my god.” i turn away from the monitors and look at chris who is now sporting a smug grin.

“what are you doing, idiot?” nick asks, pulling his hand up to cover his mouth, eyebrows furrowed together. chris falls back on to the bed, hiding his face in his hands as he laughs.

“what a romantic story!” chris exclaims between his laughter. “‘i told my girlfriend i love her for the first time over stream.’” he mocks.

nick stands up from his seat, shuffling out of the view of the camera as he doubles over in laughter.

“it’s not fucking funny, guys!” i argue, keeping my back turned to the camera. “she’s watching the stream, she definitely heard that!” chris takes a deep breath and finally sits up, shaking his head.

“maybe not. maybe she left the room or something.” he shrugs. i roll my eyes and let out a soft groan.

of course i love her. i really do, but this definitely isn’t the way i wanted to tell her that. i didn’t necessarily have a plan for telling her, but this… this way isn’t ideal.

“matt, you’re fine. we can just finish the stream then you can stress about you professing your love for your girlfriend to the internet.” nick says calmly, reaching over the desk and turning the mic back on. i let out a soft sigh and turn back to the screen, hesitantly looking over at the chat.

thankfully, no one caught on to what i had said and were only freaking out because we were muted. nick and i switch spots and i pull out my phone, contemplating if i should send some sort of explanation text.

what if i freaked her out? what if she thinks it's too early? i might've have just scared her away-

my heart stops when i see that she's texted me first.

doll🩶

i love you too :')

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt stuniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff

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nicorenarin · 2 months ago

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Depravity of the Media: An Early Look at P5X's Fourth Arc

(Keep in mind, I'm using screenshots from BuffMaister's playthrough of the game, so there will be very wonky translations, but it's the best I have.)

After many months of the glorious Katayama-Akashi Arc, P5X finally progresses onwards as we reach what is currently dubbed as the 'Shimotsuna Arc', focusing on the new Phantom Thief, Shoki Ikenami, and the palace ruler, Shimotsuna Takami. The former is the son of two-accomplished stage actors, whilst the latter is an extremely powerful media mogul who has an... apparent attraction, let's say, towards Ikenami and other male members of the party like Shun and Wonder.

First off, the bar is often quite low for the Persona series when it explores the possibility of older female characters and younger male characters in relationships, take the Devil social link from Persona 4, the Hermit social link from Persona 3 and... well, a good chunk of Persona 5, that most people tend to scrub from their minds when discussing the series' social life aspects. Whilst P5X is no stranger to including romance options with older female characters (that even the writers don't appear to like), Shimotsuna, however, is treated like the predator she is made out to be and the situation early on is called out for being extremely uncomfortable. So, fair enough! In the mainline games where this would be probably laughed off, it's treated as it should be.

Shimotsuna is made out to be quite a depraved and vile woman from the moment we meet her. She threatens to jeopardise Ikenami's career, (something we'll return to later) takes pictures of the group without their consent, and refers to her secretary (who seems to be another important character in this arc), Daichi Ousaka, as a "dog" and her as his "owner". She is the classic example of a high-profile influencer of sorts using her power and connections within the media to both ruin lives and take hold of them. This is where we dive into the main themes of this arc; the media itself, and how it can ruin lives.

We learn from Ikenami that whilst his parents are seperated, the two are still in love, just seperated by country. An article (that's heavily implied to have been written by Shimotsuna) implied that Ikenami's mother had cheated on his father. Due to the nature of the scandal, Ikenami's mother's career was ruined, with it getting so bad she had to return to Italy, not allowed back in Japan again due to fear from the media. This is something that I don't remember P5 exploring a lot outside of Mishima and the Phan-Site, that being how the media can manipulate reality itself, almost subconsciously. With enough power and influence, forged realities can then become the truth in people's eyes. This tore Ikenami's family apart, it made him a target of bullying, and whilst Ikenami remained close with his mother, his father became a shell of himself. It already makes the early beginnings of this arc incredibly personal.

Ikenami even states in a conversation with Wonder and Shun that for the longest time, he hid his true feeling away from his parents, playing the good child who wanted to be an actor just like them. In a world where false stories tore his family apart, he himself put up a false smile to keep his family together.

When we get into the palace, Shimotsuna's Shadow resides in the 'Anthill of Pride', a fairytale-like land where those who work underneath her are seen as ants, mere workers who serve their queen. It matches her position in the media, whilst some of the puzzles within the palace require Wonder to "praise" Shimotsuna in order to temporarily transform into an ant with a construction helmet, further symbolising that Shimotsuna sees those who praise her as simply servants willing to serve a greater purpose.

Even Shimotsuna's weapon of choice, a wand of sorts is referred to as a "magic recorder", reminiscent of her phone in the real world that she uses to capture damning evidence to then publish to the world. She's able to use this wand to turn some of the party members into magazines, symbolising that to them, they're nothing more than an image on an article, words underneath a headline, all to push her own agenda against the world.

Ultimately, we end this first part of the arc with Ikenami's awakening and Shimotsuna forced to retreat further into her palace, and with the preview of the next part featuring both Daichi and Aran, it's exciting to wonder exactly where this arc will go. There's one thing for sure though, and it's that we're going to dive even deeper into how depraved and desperate the media can get, what distances they'll go to get a story, with the consequences for the Phantom Thieves potentially being critical if things go wrong. The stakes are only getting higher and higher.

#p5x #persona 5 x #persona 5 the phantom x

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serenpedac · 6 months ago

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2024 Writing Roundup

Thank you @lykegenia for the tag <3

words posted: 28703

additional words written: Around 40000 words, most of which are for the poly AU and Ava's car racing AU.

grand total of words: ~69000

fandoms: The Wayhaven Chronicles, one Dragon Age oneshot, and some writing for Yael for our GURPS campaign.

highest kudos: Tales of Fate and Fortune, though that's ignoring the oneshot collections, as well as 'when words', since those only had parts added this year and it's impossible to separate the kudos.

highest hit oneshot: featherstone. Again, this is without counting the oneshots in collections (I know it's not ideal to put those into a single work, but it's better for me).

new things I tried: At first, I wanted to say it was writing Adam/Nate, but since I wrote them specifically for the polymance AU, I'm going to say writing a poly-relationship. Relationships in various forms have been on my mind a lot this year, and I think that's reflected in my writing.

fic I spent the most time on: Including words that are not yet posted, it's the poly AU main fic: touching, tangling, intertwined.

fic I spent the least time on: For Gold and Glory (and Good Wine) --- Just a silly little fic about my Warden and Rook meeting.

favorite thing I wrote: The latest chapter of when words fall silent. It's a scene that I've been thinking about for years, yet putting it on paper was quite hard. It feels good to finally have it written down, though. The writing itself may not be my best (I'm finding it very hard to judge this chapter), but each and every part is there for a reason, and I just have a lot of feelings about this chapter. Here's an excerpt (cw: mention of death):

Dappled sunlight plays across the ground, creating patches of light and shadow and everything in between. A few early butterflies flutter between the tall grasses in splashes of citrine and dusky orange. Nate’s sigh is carried away by the wind rustling through the birch trees scattered across the land, their leaves a soft, light green against the silver of their slender trunks. The place is beautiful. What he wouldn’t give to not be here. His hand goes to his chest, inadvertently, finding the ribbon pinned there. Its frayed edges brush against the tips of his fingers, a reminder of the life torn away before it had a chance to be lived.

favorite thing(s) I read: Since the Friday rec lists focused on Wayhaven, let me put down some other things here:

before you can kill the monster (you have to say its name) by @/inquisimer --- A rewrite of the DATV quest with the Gloom Howler. Isseya is such a fascinating character and Veilguard's handling of her disappointed me, so I'm very happy to get to read this fic that focuses on giving her nuance!

Rosemary and Citrus by @/lykegenia --- Lykegenia's writing is always a pleasure to read, and this Rook/Lucanis fic is no exception. It's wonderful to get to dive deeper into the characters.

Number 5 by stardust_and_sunlight --- A Doctor Odyssey fic set the morning after that one night, with the Max/Tristan content we deserve (also looove Avery's role at the end here).

Remembrance of Earth's Past (The Three-Body Problem trilogy) by Liu Cixin --- Putting these books on here, because my summer was defined by them. As frustrated as I may have been with some parts of it, it's a story that had me in its hold for months and left its mark on me.

writing goals for 2025: Finish 'when words'! Getting better at finishing longer fics in general, tbh. I tend to start fics and then abandon them, which is something I want to work on.

new works:

Farah/Gabi

Meet-cute Neon Pink Tulsi Yellow Like the Summer Sun

Yael/Nate & Susan/Nate (how did I write/post so little Yael/Nate this year?!)

Stockings Tales of Fate and Fortune

Poly AU (Yael/Nate/Adam)

written by your hand featherstone let me show you touching, tangling, intertwined

Other

Metamorphosis A Touch of Friendship For Gold and Glory (and Good Wine)

Tagging forward anyone reading this! And also (no pressure): @evilbunnyking, @nerdierholler, @wayhavenots, @nat-seal-well, @nsewell, @itsmistyeyedbi, @serial-chillr

#serenwrites #i can't quite believe Tales of Fate and Fortune was from this year #it feels like ages ago #things are much better now #i'm legit excited for the new year #which is a good feeling!

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rakubalka · 7 months ago

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@khr-guilded-cage @massivechildtidalwave

Have either of the two of you ever watched or read Overlord? Because I kinda wanna start an AU in which we throw Tsuna(around a week before the start of canon) in as the only other still active guild members of Ainz Ooal Gown into the new world along with Momonga . And just have Tsuna be an actual teenager (and the resident person with morality to keep the others in check) .

The activities of being the Nazarick's resident teenage suprime being include :

- make sure Demiurge doesn't go to the deep end and hurt innocent people . By reasoning that they can instead use people like r@pist and the general scum of the earth to supply the parchment for scrolls with no moral questioning, after all there is no need for mercy if the person did something unforgivable

- start an entire movement in Nazaric to find Momonga(his Dad in all but blood) a good partner from outside of Nazaric because he will look at them as children so they need someone who is closer to his mental age

- started the Momonga x Gezef fan club and the resulting shipping war (because Tsuna was raised in the internet and had somewhat regular contact with the rest of the guild for at least a year or two while being like what 10 , that's gonna leave an interesting impression of how fandoms work) because Gazef is quite literally the best pick they have

- start coming to any and all places when he is bored to either supervise or learn what they are doing

- become an active member in the Momonga fab club along with the other members of Nazarick

- create an art laborer guild because it's way more sustainable in the long run to have 200 artists on their pay roll than to have the same amount of people in farms . Also the fact that pieces of art had a much more favorable turn to Ygrasill gold ratio than grain is helping a lot , and that's without putting into consideration the way less of strand they put on the land

- changed Albedo's setting from the canon version to something along the line of "Like the Guildmaster of Ainz Ooal Gown she too holds Nazarick and it's denizens as something prescious worth protecting at all cost" (are I'm overiding Albedo's character , yes I am but with Tsuna here the story is gonna be different because he IS here)

- terrorizing this world's dragon population because for a difference of Momonga his build isn't roleplay focused(as much as he loves lore) but a solidly combat focused , more specifically his build is similar to Ulbert aka magic glass canon that can easily take you out with just one spell even and if you're a max level specialized tank

- mitigate if not stop the "Splat" from happening by being the voice of reason to NOT use a mass sacrificing ritual on what are most likely farmers who didn't have a choice other than to comply with the crown or be executed for "treason" (the war still ends in a massacre but no one got sacrificed to an literal lovecraftian God)

- have the whole of Nazarick trying to come up with a way to also get him immorality

And just overall being both a nuisance on anyone who tries to down play or insult Nazarizk and Momonga along with also being Nazarick common sense and morality person

Then at some point Vongola somehow get him back and more specifically in his human body . The result is an extremely pissed Nazarick who will be into the KHR world in less than 5 months ready for blood .

And in those 5 month Tsuna is going to be both 1) extremely depressed because he thinks the only place he ever felt like was his home is no longer accessible and he's no longer able to contact Momonga (who might be dead in body) and 2) is slowly going to make Vongola pay for taking him from the both the dream he had and because of how they not only mistreat him but also badmouth his guild and more specifically Mimonga (his Dad)

Result

You have a very angry Nazarick led by PvP and Guild War veteran of world class Momonga(who is also either a Cloud , Sky or a mix of those two and very protective of HIS people ) who is fully ready to kill people with the whole of Nazarick on his side and with Albedo , Demiurge and Pandora Actor given full premison to get what is needed no matter the method

And you also have hell bent on revenge Tsuna who actually not only has experience how to wild flames as easy as breathing but armed with all his spells and ready to take Vongola and the Mafia down

Needless to say Vongola and the rest of the underworld are fucked

(also let's add Skull as Ulbert just for the lol)

(I actually already have Tsuna's build and race in mind and even a world item a can give him that I made for him specifically)

#khr #khr au #overlord #overlord x khr #sawada tsunayoshi #tsuna sawada #ainz ooal gown #albedo #demiurge #dad ainz #bone daddy #Ainz being a good dad to his kids #Tsuna being a good older brother to the rest of Nazarick #and being a jeneral nuisance of apocalyptic proportions uf he so choses for the new world #overlord au

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assassiowl · 1 month ago

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Training arc - Anatomy and Stylisation

Sometimes I check socials on compulsion, just mindlessly scrolling or refreshing. What am I looking for? I've forced myself away for a few weeks to lock in proper. Reminds me of the habit I develop playing games. It's enjoying something and then trying to squeeze it of every ounce of enjoyment I can like it's a juice box that's personally harmed me. Lol I started listing all the games and got really self conscious, look if you want to nerd out about games, I'm so in. This is what I've been up to. Long read. It's a breakdown of my internal process, I'll be thorough for this one. This post will act as a buffer.

My approach to art is to always feel slightly out of my depth. Not so much it feels soul crushing. Just enough to progress. Experiment and reinforcement drive me. Each piece is followed by reflection, analyse and breakdown what's working and what isn't. (In practice this is what it looks like: Undertale x Outer Wilds sprite breakdown, my earliest posts have more unfiltered thoughts)

One of the biggest ones has always been anatomy. A few months ago the thought of drawing a humanoid stressed me out. Here's this Owlk sailor from September '24.

It's endearing to look at now, it's kind of cute. Classic. Hide the hands, cut off the feet. Misplace the joints. I'm missing symbolic clouds, tree and sun. It was like this for ages. I just couldn't get my head around it. Kept drawing figures though. There's a trail of my art with awkward anatomy. I drew figures for a whole year many many years ago and I don't think I ever improved back then. It was like pedalling a bike with no chain on. I didn't think about what I was doing.

Recently I drew the figures for OV-OWVXXII. They were posted in full as of yesterday. I felt something click with these ones. Weirdly I was focused on everything except anatomy.

I think I levelled up my understanding of other aspects and suddenly it was so obvious I couldn't ignore the anatomy bottleneck anymore.

The thought of sitting down to practice it was stressful, boring and tiring. In these moments having someone nudge you to do it anyway can really help. Be that a friend, an art teacher, a hater. Though, there's no stronger motivator than it coming from yourself.

Day 1.

This cycle of study can probably be applied to anything. Learning how you learn is fundamental. I absorb and then apply. I'll read, or watch tutorials and then try it out after I digest what I've been given. Step 1: Identify the starting point. You need to know what to work on. The answer was 'everything'. Step 2: Set a goal. To have a better mental image of what figures are like, a posable articulate figure. Without a goal, you could easily practice endlessly where you're sick of it.

Similarly, you need a success criteria. Training is hard work. How can you cheer yourself on if you never stop to celebrate your wins.

Step 3: Try it out (It'll probably suck, that's why we're here) The banner picture really shows off what I knew. A vague understanding of where body parts line up - kind of. I distinctly remember thinking, "I have no idea". It's really easy to beat ourselves up here. Self doubt creeps in. We wonder if it'll work. Remind yourself that's why we practice. We suck now, but that isn't the case forever. Step 4: Pick out the foundation to work on. Is the rest of the practice dependant on you doing something? A lot of art is having the confidence in what you're doing. After the first page of torsos I felt I need to try it again and that this would need a considerable amount of work. I drew some warm ups and looked about for how people were representing the torso, just so I had something to work with going forward. Step 5: Repetition

It was really helpful for me to imagine this process as doing reps in a gym. It's incremental improvements. You build a little bit at a time. You might not see it in the moment, but it's working towards the bigger picture. The rest of the day was breaking down the figure into separate parts. Taking note of rough measurements. I wrote notes on the landmarks. Understanding how each of these parts made up the overall figure, learning where they were placed and how they connected, interacted and importantly, how they were stylised.

Ultimately, I learned from one video that drawing figures in this animated style, the proportions are 'incorrect'. That gave me confidence. The goal was not to build a super realistic representation of a human.

Day 2.

I started drawing turn arounds. This was a long process. I found a reference sheet on pinterest of a model in various turnaround stances. It was a matter of drawing them as best as I could.

Step 6: Regular breaks I was exhausted by the end of the first sheet. I took a break just messing around with expressions before really getting in there. What was really helpful was red lining and making note of areas that were standing out as different to the reference photo. Making a mental note of areas to fix up, the proportions and what I needed to work on. It was a tough day. Looking after your needs is the foundation of feeling good about your work. It might seem contradictory. If you aren't drawing constantly then how are you going to improve? But what happens if you're running on fumes, burnout happens, art blocks come up and suddenly everything you create feels off. Day 3.

Step 7: Managing thoughts

I found some sketches of figures by chyan (a pro illustrator) to follow. For the last two pictures I tried applying a more stylised approach onto poses I found on posemaniacs.

What I really felt on this day was questioning whether what I was doing was helping or not. It was really hard dealing with 'invisible progress'. It's the type of stuff in art where if you don't do it, you can tell, but if you're doing well, you won't even notice.

Don't be afraid to change the plan. If whatever you're doing is making you miserable, do something else. I got bored of drawing turnarounds, but wanted to keep practicing, so I tried drawing figures applying what I learned.

This was actually a really validating process, it helped put into context everything I had been doing, and to see progress literally forming in front of my eyes was really nice. Day 4 .

Step 8: Success criteria check This was the banner picture on the right.

This felt like a boss fight.

I planned on going for more, but honestly, my head started feeling like it was burning up. You can see my notes in the middle of stuff I wanted to try, but as I'm typing this on the 17th, I can just feel I need a rest. I achieved the goal and I'll come back and update the model when the time comes.

I defeated a personal demon that's been haunting me ever since I started drawing.

The original goal: "To have a better mental image of what figures are like, a posable articulate figure. "

I felt confident in achieving what I set out to do. So I didn't feel guilty leaving the practice there for now. Art is so endless, you could feel like you need to "perfect anatomy" before drawing anything else. Getting a feel for when to move on is so helpful for developing a healthy dynamic.

Developing a healthy dynamic with art also means not beating yourself up over "failures". Identify the bottleneck and do more reps. If you can't see it yet, try and find someone who knows what they're talking about to help point you in a direction. Step 9: Celebrate your successes

I should say, I'm not good at this. I'm always thinking of the next thing and never really stopping to acknowledge the wins.

So I'll do it now. Crushed it. 4 days. Easy mate.

Step 10: Application

Training doesn't really mean anything if it can't be used. I like to make sure the next few pieces I work on will incorporate whatever I have been thinking about.

The next step is applying it, I've already drawn a full illustration that you can see in tomorrow's post to see what effect that this practice has had. Step 11: Rinse and repeat This is how I build a hierachy and know what type of image I'm trying to create with each step. I'll now put anatomy on the back burner until it becomes a bottleneck again. During that time I know I need to work on angled turnarounds, and muscle groups in particular. I can build off this internal figure to 'upgrade' the model. But I won't need to do that for a bit, since I know my colours have been really shaky. Rendering has been causing a lot of headaches, so I'll spend time learning those. Similarly I know my backgrounds are falling behind. This will then look like a bunch of landscapes, observational studies of buildings, skies, drawn in a variety of methods to see which method feels best and looks most cohesive with the style of figures from the previous pieces. Then doing that until I find a method I like.

Anyway, this one felt important to talk about. I felt an internal shift. I think that the anatomy understanding was really holding everything else back. Thanks for looking at all my experimental stuff. I'm thinking of settling into a more steady rhythm for a bit. I think my next level up is going to come from repetition and master studies. It's going to take a while.

#digital art #my art #drawing #art training arc

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zmwrites · 6 months ago

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Tag: Questions From Sleepy

AKA, @sleepyowlwrites Wants Me To Answer These Questions to Satisfy Her Curiosity, and I Am Obliging

1. What is your ideal setting for focusing on your writing?

Hahahahahaha. There is no magic formula, unfortunately. But I tend to write best late at night when I'm too tired to critique myself, but not so exhausted that my words stop making sense. For many years that was 1am-5am, but now that I have to wake up at 7:30am every day, I do what I can on my phone between 11pm and 1am.

2. What is your favourite genre to write?

Fantasy! It is very rare I'll write something without some sort of magic, because I have been born into a world where I cannot cast fireball and I refuse to inflict the same misery on my characters. Also with fantasy, I can fudge the details on politics, geography, and... everything else related to world building. That way I can write instead of researching forever.

3. Do you prefer to write on paper or digitally?

Digitally. When I was younger I wrote on paper, and had binders and notebooks full of writing, but now I find typing is easier. I wrote most of Remnants on my iPad (which has since died, RIP), actually. I do most of my writing on my phone now that my iPad is gone. For some reason, writing on my laptop feels like too much pressure and I can't get much done.

4. It’s the middle of the night and you suddenly wake up with an idea, what do you do?

If I think it has potential, I'll either write it down in a Google Doc on my phone, or text it to my friend Nat. Usually I just roll over and go back to sleep, though. Middle of the night ideas are never as shiny as they first appear.

5. Who is your favourite person to write about?

Women who seem to be full of rage but are actually full of grief. There have been many iterations across many WIPs, I don't foresee the type disappearing from my work.

6. Do you like making your own characters or do you write about real people?

I make my own characters. I can't even write fanfic bc I can never get the characterization right, never mind trying to capture a real person.

7. Have you ever written a book or story with more than 15 chapter or 100K words?

Yes. Remnants is 153K words, and Indigo Wars Book 1 is currently sitting at 139.5K words after several rounds of editing solely focused on making it shorter. I am a chronic overwriter, so in my eyes, the people who tell an entire story in under 100K words are the real wizards.

8. How often do you get ideas?

It depends! Sometimes I won't get a new idea for months on end, and will just chip away at my existing projects, and other times I'll have four new WIP ideas in a day. Most don't go anywhere and return to the creative compost pile, but they're always fun to play with.

9. Do you ever get an idea that you really like but can’t seem to ever finish?

Most of them. But that's okay, they're still percolating. They'll get there when they're ready.

10. What is your least favourite plot?

I think almost any plot can be done well if the author loves it enough, but I'm not generally a fan of anything that ends with a woman who explicitly said she didn't want children getting a "marriage and a baby" ending. I don't think enough women are allowed to be happy without children in fiction. As someone who's always told "oh you'll change your mind" when I tell people I don't want kids, it's very annoying.

#tag games

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enderdeservesbetter · 11 months ago

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RATING SPEAK NOW (TAYLOR'S VERSION)

With 16 votes in the poll above, I'm going to listen to Speak Now (Taylor's Version) for the first time, I think I've heard some bridges but nothing more.

Ok, I don't have much more to say, so let's get started.

I have found MANY songs from my childhood here, so don't pay attention to me being happy because I listened to songs and they brought me good times

SONG LIST:

Mine (Taylor's Version) 3.5/5

+1 From the instrumental I can see Taylor dancing in the fearless outfits on the eras tour <3 // +1 She sounds so jovial, even if it's a re-recording she sounds SO GOOD // +1.5 some lines sound a little strange, but there are others that are SO GOOD

For an album opener, it's strange but it's beautiful and how it prepares you with a soft and jovial dance energy. I can tell you that I have experienced the situation you describe, and all with the person who made me feel TSMWEL.

Sparks Fly (Taylor's Version) 4/5

+1.5? I REMEMBER THIS INSTRUMENTAL AS IF I WAS IN PRIMARY SCHOOL, it's so beautiful to listening after so many years 🩷 // +1 something the vocal feels a little empty, but it's ok // +1.5 I remember only hearing the 'drop everything else, meet me in the pouring rain' and it's so nice to find the song where it came from.

Believe it or not, it was one of the few songs that I heard on the street before 1989 in my country and that's where I know that lyric existed.

Back To December (Taylor's Version) 4/5

+1 I know that I have heard this song from somewhere else, but I don't know where, in my childhood. // +1.5 She sounds sad even on the rerecording wow, she really screwed up // +1.5 I HAVE HEARD THIS LYRICS IN MY CHILDHOOD, I KNOW, IN THE SUPERMARKET

While I said I hadn't heard any songs from this album, the bridge came up a lot in compilation videos and I thought I wouldn't like it as much, but the song is really nice

Speak Now (Taylor's Version) 3.5/5

+1.5 I think I focused so much on the fact that these songs are almost from my childhood, that I forgot to comment that it is so beautiful to listen to instrumentals without so much synth-pop // +1 I remember this song sung with an almost childish tone, and now I hear it with a voice of a completely mature woman and it is so... shocking and beautiful // +1.5 Sorry, the whole scene so beautifully described and making sense when sung is an enormous achievement and she was 20 years old (or so)!

It feels like that time I accidentally got lost in the supermarket and a similar Taylor song was playing and I swear I think I can find it on this album

Dear John (Taylor's Version) 4.5/5

+1.5 It's a 7 minute song, but hey it's enjoyable... // +1 HER VOICE IT'S STILL BROKEN :(( // +2 MY GOD, JOHN, you can't be that shitty! I'm kidding, you are.

Ah yes, a 7 FUCKING MINUTES song how beautiful! But as a person who was groomed when I was 12 and he was 19 (Taylor's age when she made this song, and the age I am now...) this song is strong, I haven't started crying because I mourned that month years ago, but I think the scar never goes away and is very visible. What I mean is that it's not something you live with and say "I have no regrets."

Mean (Taylor's Version) 3.5/5

+1.5 The instrumental feels fuller than the original, without being overpowering and I honestly like it more than the original // ... 1 Something I don't like is the beginning of each verse that seems like a tongue twister, but when you read it quickly it's not difficult, but it's difficult to understand Taylor when she sings it. // +1.5 I love the imagery and the way of describing the words, the weakness, the feeling of inferiority and the hope that the situation will change and the other person will see that they cannot make you feel bad again.

Something I've noticed in the songs so far between this album and Reputation is the structural pattern, it doesn't exist in Lover anymore... And honestly I like this pattern better

The History Of Us (Taylor's Version) 4/5

+1.5 That instrumental is one that I would love to listen to without lyrics! // +1 She sounds so beautiful, such a sad song in such a happy rhythm // +1.5 The lyrics are so rhymically pleasant that they scratch parts of my brain that were hidden and it's 2AM and I can't start dancing

Another song that is part of my childhood, please someone save me! It feels like I'm listening to the music on the 5 a.m. radio when I'm with my grandfather for morning coffee, and at the same time it feels like a walk through the mall while I help my mom buy food for the week and sing songs that my father would definitely forbid

Never Grow Up (Taylor's Version) 4.5/5

+1.5 I didn't even listen to the song twice and I was already crying // +1 I'm aware that she doesn't know me but I feel like she's telling my story (minus the moving part) and she's talking to my little self // +1.5 She sounds so beautiful and the lyrics are so vivid!

Now TTPD feels bland "but it has a lot of analogy and and and" no, thank you. It is insipid and lifeless, not that it lacks complexity. (Another note) THANK YOU FOR BREAKING MY HEART AGAIN WITH A SONG RELATED TO CHILDHOOD AND INNOCENCE

Enchanted (Taylor's Version) 4/5

+1 I've heard this song everywhere and I didn't want to listen to it in its entirety and it's so beautiful // +1.5 She sounds so dreamy it feels like I'm interrupting something very private // +1.5 I think I'm going to give it an additional point because despite the repetitions, and the fact that it's 6 minutes, it didn't stand out at all.

Another 6 minute song, I complain a lot, but how I am enjoying this! It feels so nice, full of life after TTPD, I mean I know it's the concept and everything, but honestly the more I hear from Taylor, that album is one place lower in my ranking, only surpassing Lover at the moment

Better Than Revenge (Taylor's Version) 4.5/5

+1.5 OH MY GOD THAT INSTRUMENTAL IS ALL THAT'S GOOD!! // +1.5 Seriously, this whole album sounds so in her style that it makes me want to listen to Fearless (Taylor's Version) right now // +1.5 I love the change of lyrics, and I love how she describes the person but well, she wasn't the best person and Taylor definitely had no qualms at that time

Innocent (Taylor's Version) 4/5

+1.5 The instrumentals remind me of The Anthology 🤍 // +2 Another song that goes on my playlist called little child, it's so beautiful

I think the songs that never failed to hit me are the songs related to childhood and innocence, and this album is full of them.

Haunted (Taylor's Version) 4.5/5

+1.5 I can't stop loving the instrumentals! // +1.5 She sounds so good in this style!! // +1.5 The lyrics go so well with the instrumental and THOSE HIGH NOTES FOR GOD! I swear I understand this lyrics to heart

Everything makes so much sense in this composition, the occasional violins, the electric guitar, the high notes, EVERYTHING

Last Kiss (Taylor's Version) 3.5-4/5

?1.5 I don't know whether or not to give this instrumental a point because it's late, I'm sleepy and I'm falling asleep listening to it // +1 she still sounds very heartbroken :( // +1.5 She waited for that kiss like I waited for that "last.... kiss"

It is incredible to know that she wrote such works that one says "now there are people who do it" "there were before too" I still haven't found anyone who does it so vividly, with such accuracy and ALSO that you can see yourself in the music and that you also appreciate that other history

Long Live (Taylor's Version) 5/5

+1.5 This album should stop having such good instrumentals! // +1.5 I feel like she is telling me these stories as if I were her daughter, and as if she were giving me an old book of these same ones. // +2 I can't help it, this yes or yes is my favorite, the imagery, the way of putting it into words, the message in general. I can't not give it a 5/5

How bad would it be if I dedicated this song to my brother, who was always my best adventure partner even if now we are not as close as before?

Ours (Taylor's Version) 3.5/5

+1 The first sentence was right, this song sounds like an elevator song // +1 She sounds so happy, I guess it's a bit of an act, but it may also have been that reconnecting with this part has helped // +1.5 Another song about getting into people's lives and with such a beautiful message in between (not the muse, I care so little)

I would listen to this song while I am doing homework or other things, it is one of those songs that you put on to sing and it becomes the soundtrack of the chore you are doing. I'm not saying it's bad, but it doesn't grab my attention THAT much.

Superman (Taylor's Version) 3.5/5

+1.5 Another song that she song that she would dance in the Fearless dress // +1 She feels so comfortable in this element that it hurts // +1.5 Oooh how I feel this lyric! She is so dreamy and so free at the same time, how beautiful 🩷

Seriously, every time I think she changed the type of dress indicated because there were no colors or because of the representative colors of the albums because I don't think you can dance this in a ball gown, but I guess that's not the vibe she wanted to give either, but hey, the Eras Tour is about to end and it was still magnificent

AND WITH THIS, WE END WITH THE ORIGINAL VERSION OF SPEAK NOW

Electric Touch (From The Vault) 3.5/5

+1.5 How do I not download every instrumental on this album??? // +1.5 I love Fall Out Boy and I love that he had a whole verse and it sounds so good with Taylor... // ...1 That first moment of meeting a person and having everything vibrate with anticipation, it is something that I wouldn't change for anything.

I feel that it is a very tender song and at the same time very passionate, even hormonal, and although I love it with just one listen, it doesn't quite fit with Speak Now, but it doesn't fit with any other album.

When Emma Falls In Love (From The Vault) 3/5

+1 That soft piano at the beginning🤍 // ...1 I'm going to be honest, there is a second voice that bothers me and all the "ss" sound like hissing. // +1.5 It's such a beautiful song, about a person who handles love in his private life in a fairly healthy way in Taylor's environment is incredible

Imagine that you are the inspiration of a talented friend and on top of that she makes a song, and tries to learn from you. Well, it doesn't happen to me, but it does to Emma Stone.

I'm not saying that this isn't a spectacular song, but the AUDIO QUALITY is horrible, and the whole experience is...

I Can See You (From The Vault) 3.5/5

+1 I can't believe that even though it's a different genre, the instrumental automatically reminds me of imgonnagetyouback // +1 She sounds so sexy and with such a high rhythm, it's almost perfect but I don't know what she's missing :( // +1.5 It's definitely a song that would be on Reputation, with a different rhythm, with such daring lyrics.

I'm going to be completely honest, I'm listening to the YouTube playlist, and I'm playing the MV in the background. Honestly the story is great, but it bothers me that there is no clean audio on the official playlist.

Castles Crumbling (From The Vault) 3/5

+0.5 It has many synthetic touches aaaaa we were going so well :( // +1.5 HOW HAYLEY SOUNDS, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL HARMONY! They sound so good // +2 The song that was about fame and how it affected her life was missing on this album :( this song is sad and tragic and beautiful at the same time

Foolish One(From The Vault) 3.5/5

+1 What beautiful instrumental // +1 She is singing the song to me who doesn't talk to any human being apart from my family. // +1.5 Definitely my song

It's strange but I feel like the quality has gone down on the From The Vault songs, but they are still beautiful

Timeless (From The Vault) 3/5

Here the lyrics feel like a mixture of ideas that is difficult to make sense of in a song with these lyrics, I guess she wanted to make an overly complicated image OF HER OWN STORY, But if she was simply talking about people and how time affected love in general, and not directed at a single muse, the whole scene would have been better, but HEY, this song already came out like this so ...

Conclusion: I know I've criticized TTPD a lot, but I remember reading many times that Taylor Swift's last album was similar to this one, because of the number of long lines, and yes they do. But to TTPD, TTPD lacked life, not emotion, life. I don't know how to explain it, but even Midnights had more life than TTPD. I understand that these are all individual concepts and completely difficult to put together.

Further, speaking about Speak Now (Taylor's Version) there are some VERY good things on the original album and others that are good, but I feel that in the From The Vault section the quality dropped a lot.

3.5-4/5

#taylor swift #ttpd #the tortured poets department #reputation #speak now taylor’s version

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oodlyenough · 2 years ago

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aa3 trials and tribulations

alright after dragging my heels to get four months out of a idk 35 hour game i have finished aa3. spoilery thoughts mostly about the last case bc i played the others months ago fjglhgkf

Positive stuff:

FRANZISKA... my mvp... I loved Franziska after aa2 but she was so great here, everything I could've wanted from her lmao. My best worst girl. I LOVED having her hang out with Phoenix fhlgfhgklf incredible, showstopping, spectacular. Their dynamic is sooo much fun and I also really liked seeing her interact with the witnesses outside of the courtroom, and how she tries to establish her authority but uses that authority to try and comfort them, etc -- she gets mad at Phoenix when he isn't complimentary enough of Sister Bikini lol, she takes control of the sacred cavern situation, she bullies Edgeworth into selfcare garden sulking after the earthquake, etc. It was really interesting and kind of sweet, in her way, it was nice to see that side of her. I can easier see how she and Adrian ended up with their weird gay thing although I have to admit Franmaya remains my Franziska ship of choice. (Just yesterday I was telling someone "I want Franziska to show Maya how to use her whip"... so close and yet so far Capcom.)

Defense attorney Edgeworth was awesome what a fun idea, and the Edgeworth/Franziska court battle ruled. I think I talked about it a lot at the time so I won't dwell much but lmao. wonderful. you're both sooooo bonkers

The Fey family drama! Cool af! Love a matriarchal society of women murdering each other. Amazing. I was spoiled for bits and pieces but not for Misty, which was a great surprise, I had expected they'd just leave that thread hanging but resolving it was the correct choice. I also loved that this game gave a bit more of a nod to Mia. I had said in my previous reaction post that I loved Mia having her own lil Moriarty in Dahlia and their showdown was so fun. Get her ass Mia. Pull each other's hair in the afterlife.

The actual plot mystery stuff in this case was great. I was able to do 3-4 and 3-5 without any walkthrough help AND without banging my head into a wall, which really does make it more fun, lol. You feel clever for solving it without feeling like it's being spoonfed. Or at least I didn't feel it was spoonfed :P and I guessed wrong about some things.

I loved Dahlia LMAO she was fr on the stand like "Your honour I was born evil and I died evil and I'm still evil now. Peace". I sort of expected she'd have mixed emotions at least about Iris but uh nope. Choose a way to born: Evil Baby. You could probably say something about AA returning to these cartoonishly evil villains to smooth over any of the ethical quandaries probably but tbh for the most part I just find it fun. Whatever. Cant a girl have hobbies (poisoning, failure).

Less positive stuff:

I was surprised and disappointed to not get a send-off epilogue screen for Edgeworth or Franziska 😔 they just kind of disappeared in the back end of the case, and while I don't have an issue focusing on the Feys in the end, the Edgeworth/Franziska stuff felt a bit unresolved to me, to not even get a few lines when Oldbag and Larry do. I guess Capcom wants me to play AAI (... sort of. not enough to port it or translate it :P).

Two finale cases in a row shelved Maya for a considerable portion. She got much more to do here, in the end -- her as Nick's last witness was very good, and obv she's central to the whole case -- than in 2-4, but I still felt her absence.

And I do wish we'd gotten to see more of Edgeworth and Phoenix interacting - they're sort if implied to be spending time off screen but I would like to see it.jpeg, I thought he was gonna be a more active part of the case after trial day 1. Since AA1 it often feels like the game is juggling characters so I can have like, one fave with me at a time but not more lol. Rude.

The Iris/Phoenix stuff was 🙄 I realize it's futile to be mad about like, token heterosexuality in a 20+ year old video game, but 🙄 lol. Also naturally I spent most of the game believing Dahlia had grudgingly put up with Feenie while dreaming of murder for 8 months and that's so much funnier than the truth turned out to be, lmao. Her eternal torment.

I couldn't stand Godot lmao I didn't like him at the start of the game and by the end I hated him. His gimmick was boring to me at best, I found him deeply condescending and sexist in the case with Mia, and then obviously 3-5 just sent all of that overdrive. The upswing was that he was the killer so that was satisfying for me lmfao. Throw the book at him judge.

Overall:

I see why this is often called the best game. The overarching stories all tied together well, I can see how the cases of the week led into the finale even if I hated one of em (mask de masque do NOT interact), the puzzles are good while being solvable, and there are some really really great fun moments of character stuff in here for almost everyone.

Having said that, I think the first game is still my fave. Its comparatively limited scope meant each major character got their moment, Maya and Edgeworth are my besties and it's the only time I actually got to have both of them around at the same time. And Turnabout Goodbyes is just so good and so is Rise from the Ashes.

I'm sad the trilogy is over 😔 while I wait for 4-6 to get ported I'll play TGAA and AAI, but not sure in which order, and in either case I'm gonna miss my best friend Phoenix Wright. Luv u buddy

#ace attorney #aa3 spoilers #oodly plays AA

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seokjinsonlyone · 1 year ago

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Ranking who I KNOW I can seduce in BTS least to most likely Context: I'm THICK big butt, big boobs yummy thighs straight smile and round face. That's what we're working with lets get into it! Least- Jimin! While I think Jimin would be very attracted to me I think I'd spend too much time psychoanalyzing him, definitely a turnoff! Jimin and I would more quicker become long term confidantes than ever romp around in the sheets. Cute face though, maybe an accidental makeout once or twice? J-Hope- Jhope is not a one night stand type of deal to me idk. I think I'd be too in awe to even try to seduce him and if he paid attention to me I'd probably be too focused on something more long term that I'd forget all about the seduction mission. Also I think he'd find me a little exhausting lmao SeokJin- Love of my life jin please I need him so bad and that would be my downfall. He would know by one look in my eye how BAD I want the dick and I think that would be a big turn off for him. I think he'd enjoy toying with me for months on end but would never give me what I want.

Yoongi- Yoongi and I have def made out a couple of times but the friendship is so good that fucking seems off the table. I think we'd have too many deep convos about our lives and what we want in life that sex would seem like something almost too intimate to share after all that mental intimacy if that makes sense?

JungKook- I think I could pull JK! He's sexy and all but I am too lmao! I also think seducing JK is much more about the chill approach. coming over and playing video games, buying him a stuffed animal that reminded you of him. texting him only on occasion. Just giving him space to trust me and like me and he'll be knocking on my door begging within mm a month?

Namjoon- All I gotta do is be 1/10th of a natutally charming person to namjoon, not be an ignoramus, and continue to have big boobs and an ass and namjoon is in the bag. Maybe we'd spend a few days getting to know each other but he doesn't seem like he'd waste much time once he trusts that you're not a fuckin weirdo Taehyung- Not to double down on the taehyung easy train but you're absolutely right compliments and some expressive faces and he's done for. And as someone who has seduced someone without speaking their native tongue it's really not gone take much. Taehyung likes loving and being loved and I'm readTEE to give it to him.

SEE NOW those are different parameters than i allowed myself to operate within like i was thinking more like i meet you at a bar and decide i want you who am i taking home tonight but what you're getting at is WAAAYYY different bc give me some time and i 100% can have my pick of the litter bc my personality is a 12/10

but before i dive back into that lemme first say that you may be onto something with seokjin bc like i said before we got the same personality type and i literally did that to like 2 guys this past year ajsksjjwje but in my defense!!!! im on the spectrum so it wasn’t on purpose i just didn’t realize they liked me until i had already hurt they feelings LOL

ALSO that makes perfect sense for yoongi being so mentally and emotionally intertwined that you end up in that friend purgatory bc you’re afraid to change the nature of your relationship it’s textbook really

NOW who could i seduce HOLISTICALLY from least to most likely since that's the trend i started with that one actually i'm gonna do who would be the easiest to seduce from ltm and i'm forcing myself to do a spark notes version to save you from another one of my dissertations that nobody asked for

i’m keeping jin at 7 bc like i said unseduceable (we’d end up a nice lil nuclear family with 2 kids and a dog)

i’m dropping yoongi down to 6 bc that’s my twin flame and i feel like if i gave him too much time to think he’d talk himself out of it

i’m keeping hobi at 5 bc we’re endgame like we’d def have a good mix of 2seok and sope energy im his lil rain cloud and he’d be my sunshine we’d make rainbows together <3 but i’d have to give him the space to come to this conclusion on his own

dropping jimin to 4 bc he’s another one who would try to talk himself out of it but he’d be super curious about the possibilities(we’re playing the long game)

joonie would drop down to number 3 but only bc

jk would be number 2 like give me a month and i’d have that boy eating out the palm of my hands like we fr fr have too much in common and don’t have similar sense of humour i got that whole tsundere thing going on im so certain he wouldn’t be able to resist me like he’d talk himself INTO it bc he thinks we’re written in the stars or something (we’re not) but i’d let him think we were (¯\_(ツ)_/¯ he’s hot)

then tae stands at number 1 for previously mentioned reasons

#ask #such a fun topic for us habitual delulus

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starlightyellow · 1 year ago

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Starlight's Weekly Finds 3/20-3/27

Hi! My name is Starlight and I want to push myself more to post more of what I like on my account, so what better way to do that then to throw all my niche interests in a post to encourage others to talk about them too! This newsletter will consists of a read, a music wrap, and a movie of the week. As this goes, I'll add more or less depending. thanks for tuning in this week and I hope you come back for the next.

Read of The Month

This week I'd finally gotten around to getting a digital library card from @queerliblib ! The Queer Liberation Library is a free digital library the is entirely comprised of books created by LGBT+ BIPOC authors. They have such a ride variety of audiobooks and scanned copies that I feel there's something for everyone. To apply for a library card is free, however please be mindful it may be a bit of a wait for your library card depending on when you apply. I was lucky and received mine within like a few days of applying. All info to learn more and to apply will be on the @queerliblib socials.

I'm currently reading Between Perfect and Real by Ray Stoeve. It follows a trans guy named Dean who is recently cast as a major male lead in a school play. The story follows how Dean navigates his transition while also juggling graduating school and making it to an acting school in New York. I'm about halfway through and I highly recommend.

Music Wrap of the Week.

Okay so this section alone will probably turn into it's own individual post at some point considering I finally am getting into KPOP. I'm focusing on girl groups right now and I've listened to ALOT this week. Here's only a few of my favorites from the week.

QWER: Secret Diary

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Okay, I give. This first song is technically a band as opposed to a girl group. However, their music is so good I have to let it slide. Debuting on October 18 2023, QWER is a South Korean girl band consisting of 4 members(shown below). QWER is such an interesting Kpop group to me with the members pulling inspo and influence from American bands like Slipknot and Red Hot Chilli Peppers. They bring something a little different that I really love.

Pictured left to right: Magenta(24), Hina(23), Chodan(25), and Siyeon(23).

XG: Winter Without You

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The next on the list came as a pleasent surprise, because I didn't know I had heard a song from them before. You may know this 7 member group from their song Shooting Star, which is a great song, but just a little played out after the sped up version went viral on TikTok. Winter Without You leans more into the RNB aspect of the group's concept, and it makes me feel like Christmas should be here again. If you like modern holiday songs or were a big fan of Ariana Grande's album Christmas and Chill, this song was made for you.

Pictured left to right from top row to bottom: MAYA(18), Hinata(21), Juria(19), Harvey(21), Cocona(18), Jurin(21), and Chisa(22).

Loossemble- Real World

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LOOSSEMBLE is a group that caught my eye from their single Sensitive, but Real World I feel is an underrated song on their debut album. Debuting September 15, 2023 LOOSEMBLE consists of 5 members(PICTURED BELOW). This is a new subdivision of the girl group LOONA, with some members also being from LOONA 1/3 respectively. Just like with my other recs this week, the whole debut album is a bop tbh. Honorable mention for Strawberry Soda track as well. I haven't really gotten in my LOONA bag just yet, but if it's anything like LOOSSEMBLE, I'm fully sat.

PICTURED LEFT TO RIGHT: Go Won(23) ,Hyeju(22),Hyunjin(23) ,VIVI(27), and Yeojin(21).

Movie of the Week : TMNT (2007 Film)

To say I'm a TMNT fanatic would be an understatment. No matter what gen TMNT is in, I can always find something to cherish about every form of content that been pumped out ofer the years. More praise should be given to this film as a whole. Yes at points the animation of the turltes can be a little.... jarring to say the least.

However, the storyline is so good I can overlook the jumpscare that is having to look at them during certain scenes. This is one of this first instances on screen prior to the Michael Bay films that I felt really allowed Leo to be more than just a leader to his brothers.

Leonardo in most depictions up until recent years was always shown as the levelheaded leader who rarely has a genuine spat with his team and if he does, it usually has to do with the stress from being a leader and not neccesarily with having to be a brother.

This film follows the turtles after Leo returns from what was supposed to be a few months' mission that turned into a year and him trying to recollect his team. You have Mickey and Donnie who are elated the Leo is home, while Raph carries on as though nothing has changed, almost mad that Leo had the gull to come back.

This boils over into a moving fight scene between Raph and Leo, but the difference from this onscreen arguments between the two than the ones at the time were that they allowed Leo to argue, even physically fight Raph but not as his leader. It was a his genuine brother. They allow Leo to get fed up and tired of Raph's attitude enough to give into the preconceived notion that Raph thinks Leo has about him. If you haven't seen it, I would make it a point to. Especially for this scene alone. Def a 5/5 in my book.

And that's a wrap! Thank you so much for reading my first put together blog post!

#Youtube #loossemble #qwer #xg kpop #qll #queer lit #queer liberation #digital library #tmnt #kpop #realistic fiction #newsletter #trans literature #trans books

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 4 months ago

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NO WAIT I HAD A GREAT IDEA OH MY GOD even though i STILL have not started writing it

i should name it "Right Now You're On The Threshold Of An Amazing Misadventure" haha do u get it i'm so funny

(and anyway that works better because honestly shuichi isn't the sole main character, i keep accidentally making kaito and maki equally as relevant as him so it's kind of just all three of them)

also i'm just going to yap now about my thoughts on the actual game, because i feel like it and don't really have anywhere else to put it since i don't really do fandoms anymore, so here are my violently deranged ramblings under the cut

v3 is my favourite. by far. like, it's not even close. the first two games made me go "aw that was fun, i liked it :)" while v3 made me go "I'M GOING TO THROW UP AND EXPLODE" and then proceeded to lodge itself in my brain for months on end. listen, as a motion sickness haver, i'm used to feeling sick from video games, but this was the first time i felt sick WITHOUT motion sickness being involved. whatever they put into that ending absolutely caved in my skull. it went bonkers off the wall and i respect that.

hell, we still don't even know what was true and what wasn't. i've played through more than once and in hindsight, tsumugi does provably and undeniably lie about some things... in the prologue the kids have their normal names and (mostly) similar personalities, they have memories of being kidnapped and brought here against their will, they still have talents and skills that require muscle memory (kaede outright said she has a "skill she devotes herself to")... all of this BEFORE the first brainwashing? idk, i feel like tsumugi didn't "script" things nearly as much as she claims she did, she just said that so they would freak out more

i also feel like it hits way different now compared with how it must have felt when it first came out? my immediate reaction to the (alleged) Reveal™ was "oh you mean like that mr beast squid games thing?" because i first played it in like august 2024, and the whole "reality tv forcing real people to suffer just to imitate something fictional that originally had worth" was very relevant. i wonder if the game's reception would be less divisive if it came out today. maybe it was ahead of its time...

also yes, of course i replayed it in french too. there was an actual official french translation, what did you expect me to do? anyway the french version was vastly inferior to the english because there were typos literally everywhere, so i'm assuming it was rushed. gonta speaks completely normally in french btw. not even third person or anything. it threw me off.

(there were some good things though. kirumi's talent ultimate "gouvernante" is a god-tier pun. some of the characters still refer to each other by surname, so the changes in the way they address each other, eg kaito and shuichi, still work. also i think they were translating directly from the japanese rather than going through the english version, so i think i got a slightly more "accurate to the original" viewpoint. i had fun with that!)

okay that's enough sensible thoughts, i'm going to be unhinged now

astoundingly, my faves are the actual main characters this time. (in the first game my fav was sakura and in the second it's gundham, so as you can see, this is not normal.) i kept thinking "oh i hope the game focuses on these characters and this aspect of the plot--" and then it did. repeatedly. by the time chapter 5 rolled round i was checking my walls. like they wrote that chapter for ME, specifically.

shut up lemme explain what i mean. at the beginning of the game, one of the very first things kaede does after getting her first brainwashing is saying something like "oh let's calm down by thinking about gymnopédie no 1 by erik satie" I DO THAT. I LITERALLY DO THAT EXACT THING. WITH THAT EXACT PIECE BY THAT EXACT GUY. I'VE BEEN DOING THAT FOR OVER A DECADE. (for context: i am also a piano freak.)

and then she kept having the same piano opinions as me????? same favourite composers and favourite pieces and everything?????? i decided to stan on the spot. she needs to be a real person because i need to talk to her about the piano. i need to talk to her about that one singular F natural in chopin's black keys étude. i need to know her opinion on high school musical. i need to explain to her my theory of the three movements of beethoven's moonlight sonata representing the three days of the moon falling in majora's mask (she would get it).

and then she just dies immediately.

her execution scarred me for life. it's my favourite and least favourite one at the same time. i can never hear der flohwalzer the same way ever again. or clair de lune, for that matter. i would just immediately start choking to death if ill-prepared.

okay, i... i get it. I GET IT i know it's bad, the whole "female character dies to give male protagonist angst" is horribly overdone. but like... they did it so well T_T they could have solved the problem by just making shuichi a girl as well and keeping everything else the same. girl-shuichi has too much anxiety to use the public girls loos so she doesn't discover the secret passage in there, she and kaede are just really gay for each other, tenko doesn't call girl-shuichi a degenerate i guess, kaito probably shoves her or something instead of punching her in the face, everything else is the same, there we go ta-da i fixed it.

kaede holding shuichi's hand and giving him emotional support made me crumple like a piece of paper. i was so proud of myself for not caring about ships at all in the first two games, i was such a certified Romance-Hater, and then LOOK. the moment these two started talking to each other i was already planning their wedding. i mean it fully got dwarfed by how much i started stanning the brot3 later (you know of which brot3 i speak) but yknow, it was nice while it lasted.

so uhh, count me fully on board for "saimatsu", yes? that's what people call it, right?

but speaking of which, i love shuichi saihara i love shuichi saihara i love shuichi saihara I LOVE SHUICHI SAIHARA!!!!!!! SO MUCH!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!!! *lies down and wallows in appreciation*

he is my little boy and i would die for him. i love how he goes from this cringefail lil assistant guy nervous wreck, to someone who is just so tired and done and unbelievably pissed off that he strangles an entire franchise to death with his bare hands. i love that he isn't even hopeful at the end. he's TIRED. he is not messing around and he is not taking prisoners.

i love it when he's busy detective-ing and he actually starts talking more formally, like an actual detective, gah it's so good. he gets all professional and it makes more sense why he's the one doing so much of the mystery-solving during the trials (as opposed to the whole "makoto, you answer for me even though i already know the answer" "hajime, what do you think? even though you're just some guy")

his friendships with everyone are stupidly cute, what the fudge. not gonna even start because i have something to say about all of them and it would take too long. (this is also the only game where i actively like all the classmates. yeah... even korekiyo...)

i played with their japanese voices so idk what he sounds like in english but he's so adorable in japanese. i love his voice. i adore him so much oh my god i can't even think of coherent things to say about him because i'm just rotating him in my brain like SHUICHI!!! MY BOY!!!! GIMME YOUR EYELASHES THEY LOOK COOL!!!!!!

and i love that he's so AWKWARD. god he's such a weirdo. such a nerd. doesn't have a clue how to Human. relatable tbh. when he's talking to maki in the earlier chapters it's like two magnets of the same pole repelling, like their awkwardness and antisocialness bounces off each other. it's not until right near the very end that they've figured out how to like, banter with each other like normal friends. and even then they're still so weird and ridiculous about it. darn it i said i wasn't going to start on the friendships and now look what i've done-

...he's got a type, right? those uplifting, positive, supportive kind of people who latch onto him and help him feel more confident in himself? i mean he's definitely into kaede but don't think i didn't notice that one time with kaito too during the free time events (which wasn't in the french verison actually, which makes me wonder if it was there in japanese or not... god dammit just let my boy be bi)

okay yeah kaito is a purple astronaut space nerd so obviously i was going to stan him for that alone, but honestly he fully surprised me. i thought he'd be some comic relief side character, except then he punched shuichi and i immediately went "HEY >:( I LIKE YOU LESS NOW" but then he gave him actual good advice, went out of his way to apologise for punching him, made it up to him above and beyond by taking the time to understand him and be there for him and support him and be his best friend, and then he did all that with maki too, and then he got the most badass death ever--

idk man, they made this character specifically for me. like laser-cut, precision-cut, tailor-made. i've decided he's my actual, literal flesh and blood son. well except when he's being annoying or whatever but i'm just gonna blame that on his grandparents who raised him. anyway, it's danganronpa, they're all annoying and cursed as hell so i don't care okay he's my son so i forgive him and one of his most consistent and prominent traits is learning from his mistakes so he'll learn okay let me be delusional about him

v3 is an almost perfect game, but it has one fatal flaw. the flaw is that you can't high five kaito. if there was just a button to high five kaito it would be a 100% perfect flawless game. no notes. i'm right.

also, this is supposed to be nonsense ramblings so i shouldn't be getting this real, but as someone who has unfortunately been in severe depressive spirals before, having friends and family who unconditionally keep supporting you no matter what and pull you out of your head even if it feels annoying at the time, just... listen, sometimes you need the annoying extrovert bestie who forces you to touch grass. i will defend kaito momota luminary of the stars to the ends of the universe dammit. to infinity and beyond. his friendship was good for shuichi and maki, and their friendship was good for him. they all learn from each other!!!! this game is about support networks!!!!!!!!

any scene where he's coughing up blood is a good scene btw. any sprite where his face is blue and he's got calpol-pink blood all over him is a good sprite.

one time i was laughing at him for being scared of ghosts, then i walked into the loo irl and immediately saw a spider the size of the palm of my hand. i apologised to kaito instantly. i still want to lock him in a room and force him to play luigi's mansion and study all his reactions like a scientist though

no actually i'm gonna be quiet about him now because otherwise i'll go on a long-winded spiel about how freaking awesome chapter 5 was and you don't need to hear that, you can just play the chapter yourself and bask in the awesomeness. i experience a sim 3-esque positive moodlet that lasts for several days after completing that chapter. first time i outright CHEERED at an execution. they made him that cool and gave him everything he wanted and closure with everyone and for WHAT.

for ME, that's what. because he's my son and he's awesome as hell.

oH AND HE'S TOTALLY A SPACE ACE, I CAN PROVE IT WITH HIS LOVE HOTEL EVENT-- *gets dragged offstage, mic yanked out of my hand*

*mic gets put back in my hand so i can carry on* so................ maki.

i swear to god, this one character is just so insanely good she doesn't even feel like a danganronpa character anymore, she feels like she's from somewhere else and they just put her in here. my god. you could make a spinoff just about her alone. hell, just about her BACKSTORY alone. when i finished the game i was writing loads about it in my diary and most of it just devolved into me going on and on about maki. even if i intended to write about a different character, it all kept going back to maki.

(also, er, is it weird to stan a character who has no name, screentime, who we know almost nothing about, and who may or may not be real? because maki's childhood bestie got to me, man. she got to me. maki's even projecting that girl onto her love hotel scene, that's how important she was.)

ANYWAY. our terrifying little maki roll has, hands down, the best sprites in all of danganronpa. i'm talking about her berserker feral sprites, of course, but i also love the fact that she has so many sprites that are just different variations of "death glare". those glowing red eyes... god she must have been so scary when she stormed into the hangar in that exisal.

and she only has like two (2) smiling sprites? and one of them is very subtle and she's looking away, and the other one is like... genuine, but also lowkey awkward like she's not used to smiling? and you barely ever see those sprites before chapter 6? good shit right there

i was surprised how quickly she actually starts opening up (after her true talent is revealed), you don't have to like "unlock" her tragic backstory, she just openly tells you -- this poor girl was desperate to talk to someone. she shuts out her feelings and isolates herself pre-emptively but ultimately even showing her just the slightest amount of genuine support and belief is enough to get her to start changing. because underneath the assassin layer she is just a normal girl, or at least, she wishes she could have been one.

and yet she's STILL scary and murderous and she's killed her friends in the past, so when it seems to her like she's accidentally done it again even after trying to change, it must have felt like the universe just had it out for her, and nothing even mattered anymore because she never had a choice, so she tried to kill everyone else off too in a fit of grief and shock... hooohohoho ohohoho that's the good stuff!!! gimme!!!

and now i must talk about the Scene, because maki and kaito's weird pseudo-romantic friendship is everything to me. and yes, i called it a friendship, i did that on purpose, because it is! i'm not falling into tsumugi's trap. like, does maki have a crush on kaito? yeah, absolutely. does that technically matter? not in the slightest!! NOW HOLD ON LEMME EXPLAIN, I NEED TO GO INTO DETAIL BECAUSE IT'S COMPLEX-

seriously, when maki confessed my first thought was "*aro sigh* okay i knew it, let's see what annoying cheesy allo nonsense this turns into" and then it DIDN'T. it DIDN'T get romantic and it COMPLETELY subverted my expectations (positive).

"Hey, Maki Roll. I asked you before... What's your enemy? Before... you hated yourself so much. You didn't even like yourself a little... And wasn't that the reason you tried to distance yourself from others? You decided that you didn't deserve to have friends, didn't you? That was your enemy. But not anymore, huh? You're alright now! You fell for a guy like me! Now you can learn to like yourself!"

it wasn't about romance, it was about her character development all along... it's about the fact that she's able to even acknowledge and admit these emotions... the fact that she wants to fight to protect the people she cares about, because she finally admits to herself that she deserves to be happy too... because she doesn't hate herself! she peeled back the assassin layers and LET herself be herself again!! she defeated her demons and won!!!

whether tsumugi "scripted" the crush or not doesn't really affect anything, because even if it wasn't there, nothing would change?? maki still gets her happy (probably) ending anyway, zero romance involved. she gets there through belief in her best friends... she spends so much of the game with shuichi... she wanted shuichi and kaito to make up during their feud because she wanted her friendship trio back... she approves of himiko calling her "maki roll", something tsumugi seemed very surprised at since usually only kaito called her that...

the whole thing was, at its core, about friendship. she fought to protect kaito because he was so unconditionally supportive of her and believed in her. her crush on him (besides being adorable lmao) was at most, a side effect, a symptom of the wider character development she was undergoing. and also something that tsumugi latched onto to cause her despair later on, which didn't even WORK because like, maki isn't alone, she has other people she still cares about, she has a support network (see told you the game is about support networks), romance is NOT the be-all-end-all and tsumugi can't see that with her shipper goggles on.

like idk i was just so pleasantly surprised that the game basically went "romance? eh who cares, back to the important stuff like FRIENDSHIP". complete opposite of usual. almost like it was trying to make a point and spell it out for you. kaito didn't even say if he felt the same way or not, since he knew it didn't matter, he kept it laser-focused on maki's character development because that was what's important -- that if she can love him, it means she can love herself. queen of character development.

..............................all that said oh my gOD do i love a good weird-and-slightly-romantic friendship. the silly hug was brill. the crossbow training scene unravelled my brain. the iconic gender-flippery of the edgy emo bad girl going and being the assassin in shining armour, saving her manic pixie dream boy in distress... do i ship it? in a weird, heavily heavily platonic way with only very mild romance, yeah i guess. i think they should kiss but like they should be best friends about it. you wouldn't get it. i have a phD in maki and kaito no one gets them like i do

(plus i don't think kaito is capable of proper romance without automatically turning it into bromance. you've seen his love suite event, right?) (also what the hell is their ship name? i've seen so many variations...)

and i equally stan the legendary shuichi-kaito bromance, and the legendary friendship between shuichi and maki. *remembers i was supposed to be rambling incoherently, and i've been too coherent* uh uuuuhhhh okay wait remember how kaito punched shuichi, and later maki punched kaito? i think shuichi should have punched maki, because then it would complete the Circle of Punching, which would have been really funny.

other random things (so that i stop talking about those three, or otherwise i'll go on and on). my thoughts on kokichi are that he is a funny little clown, and the fact that he is so divisive would absolutely delight him and he would revel in it. the more i see conflicting opinions on him, the better. it's what he would want.

(........i think he was a good guy in the end. did a lot wrong, but a good guy. i like him.)

gonta culprit trial absolutely destroyed me. felt like i was getting mugged in an alleyway and beaten to death.

shuichi and kaito's breakup also destroyed me, but only in chapter 4. by the time of chapter 5 i found it side-splittingly hilarious. i kept making shuichi go up to kaito and i'd click on him and they'd both stand there really awkwardly not saying anything to each other. it was SO funny. i was literally nagito about it, like "this is just a stepping stone to even GREATER friendship between them!" and i was right. it was.

i really thought himiko was going to die and i was over the moon when she survived to the end. she does magic!!! it's a "beautiful lie"!!! a lie that puts a smile on people's faces, because even though they know it's not real, believing in it makes them happy!!! just like fictional stories that make you happy!!! do you get it now!!! (and GOD i love that she calls maki by the "maki roll" nickname too sometimes. underrated as hell friendship.)

maki is... i mean, considering her childhood friend, and kaito... maki also has a type, right? and... it's the same type as shuichi's type, right..? so... i'm JUST saying... if kaede had survived longer... i'm JUST no listen just hEAR ME OUT-- *gets hit on the head by a falling piano*

rantaro is just me. androgynous aroace geography nerd older sibling who's pretty chill and is smart enough to survive one killing game only to die immediately in the next one. me-core as hell. and just the fact that i'm saying such a thing makes me, undoubtedly, tsumugi.

seriously though. tsumugi was just larping with her OCs and enjoying it. we all do that. she's just like me fr. the difference is that i do it with ACTUALLY fictional characters, while she brainwashes real living breathing people and then deludes herself into believing that they're "fictional" just so she can have fun. like, girl, join a larp group and get a vr headset or something... i get you though, tsumugi. i get you. it looked fun.

i love all the characters. the monokubs grew on me somehow. monodam is the goat.

this game inspired me. i literally touch grass now. i actually go outside and EXERCISE now. i eat much more healthily. it sounds stupid because it's freaking danganronpa of all things but hey, this silly little game actually got to me. i'll admit that much.

music slaps. obviously.

i want to say more but i'm going to physically restrain myself by going to bed, since it is the middle of the night. and anyway, remember the aforementioned fic i was planning that started this entire post? i'll just smuggle plenty of my thoughts into there instead.

hmm... as soon as i found out two characters i like share the same eng dub voice actor i've been having horribly cursed fic ideas... fic ideas of a "misadventurous" kind, shall we say... i need to be stopped 😔

#sorry this got REALLY insane #may as well tag it at this point since i've gushed this much #danganronpa #random stuff

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ndostairlyrium · 2 years ago

Text

Uuuh I wanna contribute to the prosthetic arm topic too!!

It takes months (almost years) of research and testing before Ankh manages to craft a decent new arm, which is totally not functional as a limb per se but it's more of an aid if she's on a mission and needs stability in combat. Also it helps her regain confidence in her skills since she has to drop bow and arrows - can't really hold a weapon she can't feel the weight of.

Emotionally speaking, archery was something fundamental in her life, a talent that took years to be perfected. She feels a sense of emptiness, as if she has lost her identity and can't contribute to the world as an individual anymore. Working on the arm along with Dagna and Three Eyes helps her to cope with such a traumatic loss but like, even if she consumes herself on this task night and day she can't help but feel like she has no reason to do so. Most days she focuses on the new task to avoid to explore her feelings, so she overworks herself to the point she can't connect properly with her surroundings. She was sure she would die after walking through the last Eluvian at the Winter Palace, consequently sometimes she asks herself if that fate would have been better than living without what made her her. Luckily she has a strong support system, people that really appreciate her character outside what good she can provide to the world. Just like her new project, her mental health after Trespasser is a work in progress, basically.

Once she can grip to her resolve, she just starts to develop her ideas further. At first the arm is a regular prosthesis with two runes placed on the joints, to help her hold on objects, then it starts to become something more complex.

What she manages to do:

The arm is functional in a sense that it can be directed to move accordingly to the situation. There are buttons to push and levers to click if she wants to perform certain movements. It's like playing an instrument, using shoulder movements and the aid of her main hand to keep it in place whenever in need.

What she doesn't manage to do:

Handshakes, caresses and other gestures connected to physical touch don't seem to perform properly. Which is normal, considering a big portion of her arm is not linked to the brain. As I mentioned above, some movements can be performed only because of a complex system of levers, buttons and body movements that can symulate a realistic arm movements but the more Ankh goes further with the development, the more she starts to put aside what's realistic and shifts to functionality. You can see her perform strange dances from time to time so she could find a good balance, or just to bend the new arm to a certain degree.

About materials:

Since plastic and silicone aren't available materials and the ones already existing are heavy to say the least, it was hard to balance the arm in relation to Ankh's body weights system. This problem was partially solved by enchanting strategic points - the elbow and the shoulder in this case - as to make the structure less overwhelming and more manoeuvrable. The only catch is that a mechanical arm is still heavier than a regular arm, even if it's something not perceivable. The weight has still an impact on her body, so she has to be super careful to prevent overexhaustion. The part connected to the skin is composed by three different layers, one for elasticity, one for durability, and the other for comfort between skin and the hard layers. My math is terrible but I think it could be approximately 3-5 cm of thickness. The problem here is that the lighter the materials are, the more the arm is prone to damages. The structure in itself is designed to be practical for a very agile person - it has to be lighter - consequently it tends to malfunction from time to time because of sudden hits - or an overuse during reckless parkouring, knowing her << I'm not convinced about the harness' design but she definitely wears one to keep the arm in place, with a sewn on sleeve to make what's left of the arm feel comfortable with all that weight on.

She tends to wear it often, and she modifies it constantly, so to be prepared always if some asses need to be beaten <3 but also it improves her overall confidence.

#long post #inquisitor lavellan #ankh #I hope my horrid notes and my horrid english are somehow readable lol #one does a concept art course at 20 and she's suddenly an engineer #ask me why I stick to organic stuff lol #I have fun thinking that when she gestures while speaking she pushes levers and buttons to make the arm and hand move #which is very frenetic to watch but also quite entertaining #*frantically pushes three buttons in a row to do the finger gun pose after telling a bad joke*

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