#again no colour but i think its better without with the vibe im going for

[silvershayde]

An Acaesian Encyclopaedia

Darena’s Seafarers: Sirelians (Aqua Sirens)

Second Instalment for Darena’s Seafarers! This is about Sirelians! The other Seafarers include: Merfolk, Melusines, and Nymphs/Nereids. Of the four treasures Darena handed out, the Sirelians were given the Bident.

Before I get into the nitty gritty, I wanna go over why I named them Sirelians rather than just Sirens. Everyone knows Sirens right? Well, first off the original version of Sirens were bird like, and many of you may already know that. So because both Sirelians and Sirens have the hypnotic voice that can sing a lullaby of doom, the names have had an overlap and they’ve been conflated with one another, which is why I put in brackets Aqua Siren next to their original name. Another name would be Darena’s Sirens since Zetune has her own Sirens; they treat each other like cousins even though they are in no way related. So yeah they are not Sirens since they cannot fly, are not bird-like and do not fall under Zetune’s domain of Caeli. (For the uninformed Caeli is wind/air.)

Anyway! They’re mostly found in the area within and surrounding Sirelia, which is found in the ocean east of Theia/Turnunda (sorry again my map needs updating, once it is I’ll link it in these posts) which would put it south west of Aquaria. Like Merfolk you can find Sirelians in fresh waters.

First off, yes they have two tails, and the tails blend with the upper body. And yes I know the two tail thing is a Melusine thing, but I have my reasons (I came up with Sirelians first and they were initially supposed to be like Selkies because, again, they aren’t technically Sirens. Calling Sirelians Sirens is a land dweller’s misguided label. Like how red pandas aren’t pandas.)

I will note before I move on that there is practically no gender dimorphism that you can see on a Sirelian no matter what upper body they’re rocking.

Second! Unlike Merfolk their tails are more colloquially fish-like. (I use colloquially because classification and fish are not friends so to hell with it.) Their tails can also either be smooth or have scales and if it exists as a fish there’s most likely a Sirelian variant of it. Their hands are webbed and have it on their ears too. They have gills and their nostrils are just to smell not to breathe.

The sclera of a Sirelian is black, and when in hunting mode or when the prey drive is triggered the pupil dilates a LOT. (The iris being bigger on the right is a drawing error but I’ve sat here for nearly three hours doing it)

Through their hypnotic voice and applying their manipulation of Aqua to shapeshifting, Sirelians can change the way they look. Whether it is changing the sclera of their eyes to white, changing the appearance of their teeth to make it less… uh… terrifying to hiding the webs in their hands, and the extra limbs on their arms. Similar to octopuses and cuttlefish they can change the colour of their bodies, but unlike them they can do it consciously rather than just being an environmental reaction.

The one thing they can’t change the image of is how their upper bodies meet their tails, and how many tails they have. This is why those are the only two reliable identifiers to distinguish Sirelians from Merfolk.

[hostilemuppet]

All your ocs (trolls, gems, ect) have such cool designs! I especially love what you do with colors and shapes :D Do you have any specific process when you make them or is it like an elaborate vibe-check

aww, ty :) for every oc no matter what i always try to make sure something about their character is communicated in their design, whether its something like "they are a doctor so they wear a doctors coat" or more like "they are lazy so their outfit looks very low effort"

but for TROLLS specifically, i almost always try to make sure theres some sort of theme or motif going on that i keep in mind throughout the whole design process. keep in mind what you want/need (eg, for slush puppy he needed to look like his parents, while for rosé i established from the beginning "pink glitter troll" and that smth i needed to stick to) and plan around that. heres an attempt at explaining my thought process after the fact

sometimes a theme isnt as obvious, for example brad and angelina were designed to resemble raggedy ann and andy toys but that isnt really obvious when theyre any older than children. i think this is okay since their older designs still show their personalities and are still pretty cohesive while complimenting each other

often youll have a theme or look youre going for but still struggle landing on perfection, and thats fine! a couple of my favourites, cupcake and glitz, took agesssss to nail down

(not including my reference photos for obvious reasons, but there is NO shame in assembling a moodboard for a character design! i highly encourage it in fact!)

for cupcake i knew i wanted her to be sweet lolita from the beginning (since. her name is Cupcake.) but settling on something concrete was trickyyyyyyy. everything from "her outfit should seem cutesy enough to fit her vibe without being so complicated that it looks muddy on such a small chibi body (and would be really hard to draw...)" to "i need to give her a hairstyle that looks trolly enough, oh no this doesnt look trolly enough but the hime cut really fits her personality, does the massive hat help her silhouette?" to "i want her colour scheme to look like youre walking into a candy store, is this incohesive? what if i try going for a chocolate and raspberry vibe? doesnt have what im going for... how do i salvage this?" it was a lot of facing a problem, trying to fix it, and then facing a NEW problem. and thats okay! rome wasnt built in a day yknow. sometimes youll need a loooooot of drafts to get a character design youre happy with. in fact its actually way better to have several drafts, especially if its a character youll actually use a lot! believe me, ive made the mistake before of "i designed what i thought looked good but i actually hated drawing it over and over again". if you love the way it looks and you think its effective, but you hate actually using it, its still a bad design! its half the reason i redesigned penny 😭 to be fair to me though im not sure i really expected to love penny as much as i do now...

with glitz i have less notes since i had an actual person (his co-creator) to give me real time feedback rather than reasoning to myself </3 but the same sort of thing happened. he actually took me more than a month to finalise! part of that was we only had one parent for him decided at first (and it was actually through the design process we figured out the other one! if you know who glitz is you can probably see the exact moment we figured it out 😭). but from the beginning i still knew i wanted him to look flashy with glittery accents (but NOT a glitter troll!) you can see i originally wanted him to have glitter freckles but i swapped that out for a glittery star shaped... okay i never actually decided whether that was makeup or a birth mark. audience interpretation! but i ended up giving him a much more recurring star motif since he wants to be a star and sometimes you gotta beat the audience over the head with symbolism

im not sure if any of that actually helped or if it was just rambling, but the tldr is: make sure you have an end goal in mind! whether its communicating something specific about their personality (eg glitz's flashiness representing his ego and lust for fame) or you have a theme you want to stick to (eg pitaya is obviously styled after actual pitayas), having a goal makes everything so much easier since you know what youre actually working towards! if youre just throwing shit at a wall, you probably wont end up anywhere youre fully satisfied with

[huiracha]

every month of 2023 😸

i was tagged by @seungs & @euijin 🫶 tagging @seo-changbinnies, @wahgifs & @hyunsung i think everyone has been tagged at this point so im sorry if im tagging u again 🥹

january

popular - lee know just looking pretty? i get it though. men and their big brown eyes am i right

favorite - this seungmin set. i just love the outfit and also. he looks pretty

february

popular - lee know and his pudding. its the face he makes in the second gif that really get me

favorite - same as the popular one cause i only made 2 sets in feb lmfao 😭

march

popular - lee know selca taking skills. omg why did he stop doing that. it was fun

favorite - probably this jisung set? didnt gif a lot that month either 🤥

april

popular - barefaced lix 😻 deserved he looks so cute and i really like how these turned out too 😽

favorite - lee know gods menu fancam!!! probably one of my favorite set of the year. i really like how sharp/hd they look. i think it the month i stopped using offset so the colours look way better overall imo 👍

may

popular - jisung in the 5-star intro. it was such a pain to colour but! i do agree with everyone. its a good look

favorite - its a tie between this dlc set and this hyunjin + lee know set i really love how the blues look

june

popular - felix ending fairy!!! love these so much. the blues and the reds 🫶

favorite - ok i cant only choose one cause i giffed a lot in june so: 1. this one seungmins little n-nah... yeah! :D just kills me every time 2. fnf i just love the vibe of this set. it just feels warm 3. this hyunjin facecam. again i just love reds in gifs 👍

july

popular - hyunjin youtube live stop i wish they would still go live on youtube. he looks so cute

favorite - minlix 🫶 im minlix biggest fan. i love them so much

august

popular - this hyunjin ig live. the amount of notes for these 4 lq gifs is kind crazy but then again. he looks like that so its like yeah i get it

favorite - hyunjin kcon!! i like all my kcon sets but this one particularly is pretty good. he really had good shots

september

popular - hyunjin skz code. u guys are so right. the bun, the strands of hair, the earrings. hes everything

favorite - hyunjin ig live. i just love everything about this specific look. hes so pretty im gonna be SICK

october

popular - cozy jisung 🥹 yeah... again, i get it

favorite - i really like this megaverse set!! felix especially looks amazing

november

popular - this jeongin set?? how did it get so many notes its crazy. but he looks so good so. deserved ❤️

favorite - i looove how this skzflix set turned out 🫶 also! this ot8 lalalala set. the pinks are so good 😁

december

popular - MINCHAN!!!!! deserved i love them. they mean everything TO ME

favorite - (for now) felix is just so fucking funny without even trying 😭

anyway. thank you to everyone who ever interacted with my stuff, it means a lot and i really appreciate every single one of you. heres to 2024! (with skz europe tour hopefully) 🫡

[flamechasr]

a special message for you ♡ @binarystarduet

HIIII MAOMAOMAOMAO. i have said it once before and i will again, you are my favourite silliest star twin creature still. i literally jumped up and down the day i got my gift recipient and at that time i had JUST woken up because i was literally so excited to make more things for you!!!! i got an excuse to make you furina stuff LOL it felt like the stars aligned for me or something bc i mentioned that i wanted to make furina stuff for you on the individual gifts before but i was doing pair edits and it was easier with yachimei + jeanlisa for you and anne but this time i get to go off and i. went off. SJDSJDN literally have never edited this much, or been this excited to edit. i am still not caught up with fontaine or anything but i know enough to love you and i'm still unfortunately ill about my genshins especially in recent days as i got feelings for furi and it's like...... you being her is just perfect and everything, but beyond that i also love YOU, i loved making all these, and i'm honestly so grateful that we've been talking more in recent days because i've always wanted to talk more, you were just always so nice to me and your energy is very contagious like omg i am always hyped and pumped to talk to you so Please please i mean this never hesitate to shoot me a message whenever. i love to talk always, it's a precious and special experience especially with you because i simply enjoy our moments so muchie and i hope we do even more in the coming year!!

explaining my gifts a bit! i know you love aesthetics and stims and i was going for those primarily but you know how i feel about my aesthetics and stims .... i think youre so much better at them god honestly so im like nervous making them wondering if you'll like fhdhshhddh which is pretty ridiculous since i know you'll love anything but :pweading: . i did my best and i put love into all of these so i truly hope it is okay. i made almost everything the same day except for the poem and gfx so like the soyoanon board was something i came up with the day after we were talking about bandori and you told me abt mygo and ave mujica and im like ! i can make something up from that yes i do love bandori art. but i don't actually know anything about soyoanon so i only went by vibes which is like... sharing tea after school in the evening vibes, and after school vibes in general because anon reminds me of cherry blossoms and soyo reminds me of a nice warm evening so thats what i came up with, again im not very confident with my aes but i hope i got it . cry. and then hikawa sisters of course because you are sayo and i know you love hina-chan and i chose that card in particular bc i always associate you with stars! and i don't know i think it's tender. and i love you both ofc omg my hina-chan as aya and you as tsugu you're so so cute and i hope this brings you happiness! :^}

the icons came as a "i'll throw this in" gift but its also bc you told me that you felt insecure (??) about having so many bandori kins but like . don't be i love you so much :} I went back and forth a lot on the style until i eventually settled on the star design with an alternate normal ver. the colouring is slightly diff bc i made them on separate instances and i didnt save the psd but we'll pretend like they're the same ajdjsjs

finally my abundance of furinas..... this goes without saying but i love my furi so much partly because of my inherent genshin spin but i actually Understand now and i love you... the stim board is bc i thought it would be fun to make one for her and it was ! she is so you like the teatime aesthetic and her love of cakes and i incorporated both so i hope you likeys.... even though im not good with stims i think it looks okay and i gave a bonus neuvi as well. tee hee. talking about the poem a bit i wrote that like the same day oz assigned me to you because i was so excited and that morning i listened to la vaguelette for the first time and i came up with that. because you said i can gift whatever else and i was thinking the only other thing in my arsenal is writing (art too but i have been terribly unmotivated on that end ....) i have not yet properly gone through fontaine or her story and of course it is Your feelings but i tried to put that into pretty words as well, plus i made my qpp and my best friend read through it first and they both liked it so i hope you will too... smile. the gfx set i was gonna make from the start but it took a couple days of inspiration-gathering, and i was thinking how we talked about like. how you like working with colours but struggle with like creating a design like making from a blank canvas but i do love making designs so i put my whole mind into the set and i really like what came out of it !! these are just tumblr gfxs that you just stare at and not use but regardless i really hope you enjoysies everything, i love you so much!!!

(hey!! this is ava i just scheduled the posts since elysia had them in drafts, hopefully we're right on time! thank you for being awesome and we all hope to continue being friends with you for a long time. <3)

[colourful-void]

Hoshiai no Sora Fan Movie Breakdown/Theory/I don’t know

Yeah I went mad so imma do theories now I guess. rip homework and fic.

spoilers for the fan movie, which is like 3 minutes and on youtube so just head over there, theres a link up here somewhere.

So first off, where’d the student council go?

Prez dances alone despite usually having some people watching and clapping behind her. They’re just gone!

Most of the first half is reused footage, so theres not much Ill break down, at least for now.

Once the outro is done, we cut to the final moments of Hoshiai Episode 12, as if we haven't had that scene burned into our brains.

Once that ends, we cut to this little card:

Which I think means two years later (according to this post which is honestly a way better post than mine, go read it.)

and then this card which according to google translate says ‘living that time’ I dont think thats right.

Let’s note we’ve returned to black on white background, and not the coloured on black of the title card at the end.

One of the best OST’s in the show plays (imo) and we get a little montage.

Rintarou and Taiyou go to the same school, good for them! They’re trying to get members for a soft tennis team (probably) but everyone around them is uninterested. They have more colour then anyone else in the shot, and are given more detail. part of that is because no one does background characters, but I think theres some symbolism there with them having their own little world of soft tennis, especially since Rintarou and Taiyou are known as the more energetic and friendly (or colourful!) members of the team. There’s also a baseball team walking in the background which I find interesting.

Tsubasa is angry and still playing tennis. If we follow his line of sight we find he’s glaring at (or at least guiding us to) the people in the back longing around and not playing. I can think of two reasons why he’s upset. One: because of everything that happened season one, he takes the game seriously and dislikes people slaking off. or two because it reminds him of his old team. I think one is more likely than two though. yet again anyone who isnt a main character isnt coloured in.

Shingou????? Is now at a strict school I guess?? The thing that stands out here isnt really him being at this school, (his parents could totally send him off) but he looks happy. Proud even. Not only is that contrary to the Shingou we know, but look around him. The background characters dont have eyes but they sure do have frowns. they’re also really gray, unlike Shingou.

iTSUKI GOT TALLER?? Lets note some things! The background characters have gone from being tinted a bit grey to entirely monochrome. The other characters have backpacks like Itsuki (idk the name but they hold tennis rackets) by beyond that, Itsuki doesn’t fit into the scene at all. Beyond just the colour, he’s not looking at the other boys, and it doesn't seem much like the other boys are looking at him. you could crop him out of the scene and the boys would look perfectly normal. The boys are also all wearing ties where Itsuki has a hoodie, giving him another way to stand out.

Now where everyone else had a still that zoomed in, we turn to my son, Nao.

He gets 5 shots, two of which are animated.

Note that when we see Nao’s hand all bandaged, the music takes a bit of a dip, making a static noise a bit like what we hear in some Nao scenes, or like a ghost.

So: Nao doesn’t play tennis anymore, clearly he either misses it or something, but in whatever case he thinks about it, and watches the others play. More than just play, he watches them celebrate.

Now look at the other boys who approach Nao. We get a bad vibe on instinct. I could be wrong, but it looks like the boy on the far right is the same boy who watched as another bully talked to Itsuki and then got bashed for it. Mainly just due to hair and him wearing a mask around his chin, which we haven't seen a single other character do. Actually, I dont think we’ve ever seen a Hoshiai character wear a mask, so it stands out.

Now, Nao’s knuckles are bandaged, which suggests he punched someone or something. I cannot picture him doing this. WE can see the bandages aren’t even, so he probably placed them himself, who whoever did it, did with little care.

Nao says: something. I can’t read lips or speak Japanese, but im not sure what Nao says is even readable. It has no audio, but the spooky noises continue. Music is now gone.

Cut to black.

Bird noises! Maki is watching their old sitting spot from afar, suggesting reminiscence.

Maki says something! I don’t know what, According to the other post, translated here on twitter, he says:

"Let's leave it be. He probably just doesn't want to see me again"

So that’s likely refering to Touma, or possibly his father but I doubt that highly.

Note: Everyone keeps their distance from Maki, Arashi still has his tennis bag, Mitsue has a very nice uniform and Yuu has a new bag I think, which is pink. Very cute. 

Yuu is the only one we don’t see in any uniform (itsuki didnt have the tie but he had a jacket) so we don't know what school they go to, of what uniform they wear. Yuu and Mitsue stand close together, so we ca assume that friendship lives on.

I won't do shots of all of Touma’s dialogue but here's some:

And of course the most important shot,

Now: Touma is saying in this scene, thanks again to twitter, translator’s tweet is here go leave a like,

"It's pointless. He has no game sense. Why does he make the same mistakes? There's no point in continuing like this. Whatever. I'll find someone else"

So like the beginning, Touma is fed up with fellow soft tennis players.

Maki and Touma meet on a street corner and Touma frowns. Maki remains neutral.

long shot as they stare at each other and a train goes by.

credits roll.

So time for my final thoughts and theories and things I want to mention.

Maki hurt Touma with the knife. I know, its bad I dont wanna think it, but like,,, Occam’s Razor.

Whatever happened with maki’s dad, he didn’t get kicked out of school, he didn’t die, and he doesn't gotten any life long injuries

No one’s parents are ANYWHERE IN THE ENTIRE PV. for a show so dedicated on these kids relationships with their parents, that is striking. We don’t even see family members.

No teachers are seen either.

Aside from the beginning we don’t see student prez at all.

Why does Nao get extra screen time? like do not get me wrong I love him but everyone else only got one shot.

Background characters are near always painted in greys wand without eyes, except for whoever Touma was yelling at and the others in that scene. they still don't have eyes though, which is probably just because they’re background characters.

Most characters are alone, except for Rintarou and Taiyou, and the gang during Maki’s line.

Things aren’t looking good.

SO those are my thoughts/theories, hope you liked them, I'm gonna go cry over my son becoming a delinquent, good night!

[queenmendes]

things are changing | extra

shawn x reader x connor

a/n: so I know I said this is the last part but I lied! There are proabably 2 more after this. This was a short filler that just happened so please let me know what you think and who she picks! xxx

big big big thank you to @local-neighborhood-biderman for helping me so much!

____

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t been wallowing in self pity since you arrived back in Toronto. Shawn and Connor have not left your mind; along with the last moment you saw them. The anger and then regret that flashed through their eyes broke your heart. It felt like you caused all of this drama because you couldn’t choose between one boy. 

Your life became one of those romantic dramas you constantly make fun of. Of course, your pity party wasn’t getting this situation out of your mind. Memories from tour played through your head like a movie.  

Tomorrow is the first show in America. Currently, the whole team and band was explore the city of Portland. Everyone completely jittery and ready for the show to come. Tour has already been amazing. 

“Oh, let’s go in here.” You grabbed his hand and lead him into the little shop. It was small but cozy and cute. It seemed to be a jewelry shop based on the displays up front but the further you walk, the more options you see. In the back, was an older lady sitting behind a large table with different colored beads and lose, empty bands. 

“Would you like to make your own bracelets?” The lady asked, gesturing to the empty bands. You quickly nodded before picking up two of the bands and handing him one. 

“You make mine and I’ll make yours?” You suggest, smiling widely. He knew he couldn’t say no. Not to that smile. You quickly got to work, picking out the beads you wanted. Deciding to go with a more manly vibe; you picked up black, blue and some green beads. Placing them in an easy pattern on the band, you stop and grab a small white bead that had Y/F/I on it. Then you take two beads that made up your initials, sliding them onto the band along with a bead that was your favorite color. Placing it in the middle of the other beads, you quickly finish up. 

“Here.” He said, grabbing your wrist and tying your new bracelet on. You smile as you see that he put his initials on the bracelet; just like you did. 

“I love it.” You say after tying his bracelet onto his wrist. The two of you shared a big smile, before paying the lady. He quickly but gently tugs you out of the little shop, and down the streets of Portland. The two of you carefree while you had the chance. 

You’re eyes never left the bracelet that was still tied around your wrist as you replayed that memory. You haven’t taken it off since he put it on. To you, it symbolized the connection shared between the two of you. 

Denver. You were almost positive that is the city you are currently in. After travelling endlessly, it’s hard to be completely sure on where you are at. Needless to say, the show was amazing as always. The crowd was breathtaking and gave off a great vibe. Now, everyone was on their assigned bus as the journey to the next city was about to start. 

You already showered and refreshed yourself. Now, everyone was lounging around the bus, relaxing. Soon, he came and joined you; away from everyone. The smell of this fresh shampoo hit your nose and made you smile at the familiar scent.

“Whatcha doing?” he asked, his face awfully close to yours. You motioned to your headphones. 

“Jamming.” You smile before offering him one of the buds. He immediately recognized the familiar, smooth voice of Hozier’s Almost (Sweet Music). He sighed as he leaned back, resting one hand across his stomach and the other on your leg, tapping to the beat. 

I've got some colour back, she thinks so, too

I laugh like me again, she laughs like you

He watched in awe as you softly sang along to the words. Your voice wasn’t perfect but the look of complete and utter content on your face made everything seem perfect in this moment. 

I wouldn't know where to start  

He doesn’t know where to start with you. He could write a whole book about just your laugh. The things you did to him without even realizing. Like right now. You had no idea the effect you had on him. The way he smiled without realizing it, just by seeing yours. Or how at the sight of you, his heart jumps out of his chest. Your laugh makes him laugh. How you are goofy to put him back into a good mood when he is feeling homesick. You had no idea that your soft singing was going to be the moment he realizes how strong his feelings for you are. 

“What?” You stopped singing as you noticed him staring you; not moving, not even blinking. You sat up straight and wipe your face. “Do I have something on my face?” You asked. He quickly shook his head; his slightly damp hair flying around. 

“No. No. You’re perfect.” He whispered and you almost didn’t hear him. He smiled as you looked down, bashfully, but the smile on your lips could be seen by anyone. 

Hozier’s voice filled your apartment as you tidy up a bit. It was time for you to stop sitting around all day. But no matter what you did, something brought up another memory of him. The bracelet, to your Spotify playlist, to your favorite TV show. All of your favorite things were connected with him. 

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” He grumbled as the two of you huddled on his bed in the hotel you were staying in for the night. A lot of the band and crew went out to explore but the two of you were feeling lazy and decided to stay in and have a marathon. 

“You chose the last TV show. It’s my turn.” You said as you scrolled on your laptop, looking for the series. You glanced at him from the side of your eyes and had to suppress your smile as you saw him cuddling into your blanket. “Okay, shall we begin?” You retorchically ask because he really did not have a choice. 

“So, who’s is that guy again?” “What the fuck. The siblings are lovers? What is this shit?” “Awe its a puppy.” “Why do you like this show again?” Those were a few comments he made in the first half of the episode of Game of Thrones. As annoying as he was getting, his commentary was hilarious. 

“Just hush up and watch it. I promise you will like it once the show gets going.” You said, as your head tilted up from its position on his chest. You weren’t sure when or how the two of you ended up in this position but you weren't complaining. He was warm and a great snuggle buddy. 

He wouldn’t admit it but you were right. Once he shut up and watched the show, he got really into it. So much that he watched the first 5 episodes in one sitting. 

“Alright, so it’s pretty good-” He stopped talking once he noticed you were fast asleep. You’re cheek was pressed up against his chest and your arm was wrapped around his waist; a light death grip on it. But he wasn’t complaining. You looked adorable with your mouth slightly parted and little, soft snores coming out. It made it even better that you were wearing on of his hoodies. This easily became his favorite moment between the two of you. Which is why he decided to snap a quick picture of you on his chest before shifting slightly and falling asleep next to you. He swears it was the best sleep he’s had all tour. 

Your hands softly traced over the hoodie you found in your suitcase. It seemed like a good idea to finally unpack the bag that has been sitting by the door for the past week and a half. You didn’t even realize that you took this piece of clothing with you. The all too familiar cologne hit your nose as you held the navy blue hoodie up to your chest. It didn’t hit you how much you missed him until you realized his comforting smell was almost gone from this hoodie. It made you more eager to slip it over you head and cuddle into it; wishing it was his arms instead. But you’d have to settle for the oversized hoodie. 

For now.

_________

Tag List (UNBOLD WOULD NOT LET ME TAG)

 @turtoix @physicshawn @im-a-stranger-thing @shawn-youth @dreamersseeincolor @spn-marvel-nerd @someinsanefangirl @tinycertain @unsolvedhearts @ykicantbefoundwithyou @marissje @mae-petite-etoile @michellemxndes @curlyfan @haileyofthefandoms @whoopcalpal @chaotic-ness @arypesanchez @shawnmendes048 @sweetheartmendes @justinshawntom @carolineclds @ludiclove @kamustyles @loveylangdon @redrebecca @weliove @maximumcoffeesublime @introvertedrhi @peruvian-bae @iamanerdnot @lovablefangirl @foreveralone19588 @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @ly--canthrope @night-girls-world @we--f0und--w0nderland @rodneywaber @xtmd5 @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @alphabeteeee @shawnandconnor @zigzagsandzebras @danidomm @mariamuses @feliciaceciliamariajacobsson @shessoparticular99 @pitreshawn @char-m-e @riverdalexvixens @bloodorangemoonlight @the-diabolic @xxamzxx @lilya-petrichor @royalexperiment256 @aspiring-fangirls-world @curlyshawnie @tempsta @sleepybesson @sunrisebrashx @calum-booo

[cottoncanb]

Shy Girl (Zion Kuwonu One Shot)

This was inspired by this prompt and as you can see I ran with it. It’s just what I see myself as and I really hope you guys like it and can maybe relate with it.

Synopsis: The one in which Y/N is shy that goes to a party and meets Zion.

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: Swear words (but is that really a warning?) , alcohol and drugs

Enjoy lovelies and make sure to tell me what you think.

Love you all xx

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The day you met the man who changed your life was a regular Friday night. You were at your house with your friends and getting ready to go to a party a friend of a friend invited your friend to, who in turn invited her close friends. You all sat stationed at different parts of your room; you stood in front of your closet tryig to figure out what to wear and Hannah stood behind you contemplating, your best friend Michelle stood infront of the mirror touching up her face and your other best friend, Kelly, sat on the floor painting her nails.

“Guys I don’t know what to wear,” you whined as you looked at your range f clothes which suddenly became unnappetising. There was a lot your closet had to offer but none of it looked good enough to you.

“Yeah, Im stuck here too. We need your help.”

Kelly and Michelle stood up and walked up to your closet, the four of you stood eyeing the clothes on hangers for a moment until a hand stuck out and pulled out a yellow bodycon dress.

“You can never go wrong with the colour yellow and a bodycon. Put this on,” Michelle said as she thrust the dress into your arms and shoved you toward the bathroom to change. You muttered protests because you hardly ever wore dresses and you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself.

“Shut up, you’re going to look hot. All the boys will be drooling over you. You’ve got a gorgeous body and a gorgeous face. Go change.”

After you change, you walk out of the bathroom and stand in front of your judges. The all nod in approval and hand you a pair of sneakers because it is essential that you be comfortable.

You all make your way out of your house, into the car and on the way to the party. You don’t normally go with your friends to these parties because there isn’t really much for you to do at them. You don’t have many friends, you don’t know how to talk to people and so you you’re kind of awkward at these kinds of things. But they said you should come because it would be “fun”.

Arriving at the party, you walk through the door and are greeted with blaring music, thick air and the scent of cannabis. The house has a red light cast over it, adding to the club-like vibe of the party as people dance and chat amongst themselves.

“First stop is the kitchen for some liquid encouragement. Tonight we have fun ladies.”

You make your way to the kitchen and on the way you walk past a group of boys. One catches your eye; he’s tall and has light skin that glows under the red light. He laughs as he talks with his friends before a loud shout comes from his mouth at the words of his friend. His features are animated as he talks; his mouth pulls into a beautiful smile that reaches his eyes and lights up his face. He begins to shake his head cause his hair to shake as he does, the blonde locs dance with his movements. He looks up and scans the room, almost like he can feel someone watching him. His eyes finally meet yours and you feel your breath hitch as you drop your eyes and walk to the kitchen.

“Is everything okay? You’re looking a little sick there, babe,” Kelly says while wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“Yeah, it’s just a little warm. That’s all.”

Michelle hands you al shot glasses salt and lime.

“Tequila because tonight we're going all out my loves.”

You all take a lick of salt, raise the liquid to your mouths and gulp, hissing as it works its way down your throat and suck on the lime. You feel your throat and insides grow warm at the invasion by the poison and then you feel alive.

“To the dance floor,” Hannah charges and drags you with her. You loosen the grip she has on your arm because dancing isn’t really your forte and make your way to a corner. You watch your friends sing and dance to the music and admire their carefree attitude because it is something you desperately longed for. You wished you could dance without a care and sing and shout at the top of your lungs. But instead you stood in a corner and watched them with the ghost of a smile on your face.

“Maybe you should join them and not just observe,” a voice said, its deep tone startling you and causing you to yelp.

“Shit, ma, I didn’t mean to scare you,” The stranger says again, their voice is softer and timid with fear of scaring you more than they already had.

You turn your head and are met with the blonde Adonis that caught your eyes moments earlier. You feel your face grow warm and your chest tighten as he stands in front of you. You start to blubber and stutter because you’re unsure of what to do in this moment. Deciding you need to stop embarrassing yourself, you stop your attempts to speak and simply shake your head.

“Why not? It’s a party, these are made for dancing.”

“I don’t really dance,” you say. Your voce is soft and sweet, it brings a smile to his face as it is exactly what he imagined it would be, but somehow better.

“Well if you don’t want to dance, how about you and I go find somewhere to sit? I’ll keep you company while your friends dance. How does that sound?” he says while nudging your arm with a smile paying on his face.

You stand confused for a moment; your face has a blank expression. You barely talk to boys; let alone boys as attractive as the one standing in front of you. This should be an incentive to go. You don’t want to over think this but you do anyway because this is who you are. What if you say something stupid? What if something happens to your friends? Does your dress look okay? What is he expecting?

“Relax, I don’t want to do anything other than talk and enjoy your company.”

He stretches his hand toward you; the invitation still open and you grab his hand and let him lead you to the beginning of your story. You snake your way through the crowd, your body presses against peoples ad you narrowly avoid having drinks spilled on you. He takes you to a section that is away from people but still connected to the party. There is a couch and a table and he takes a seat while you stand awkwardly, unsure of what to do. He pats the spot beside him, inviting you to take a seat. You do so and sit as far away from him as you can because you’re scared he'll hear you heart hammering against your chest.

“I don’t bite, you can move a little closer.”

You move a little bit closer till there is a safe distance between yours and his thighs. He nods his head lightly, understanding that it might take you a while to get comfortable with him. While you sit you look everywhere in the room but him, memorizing the cracks on the walls and the ceiling, the faces in the photographs and the words on the magazines on the coffee table.

“I’m Zion by the way,” he says softly. The name suits him perfectly; it’s strong and masculine like he is.

“Y/N’” You say softly. He repeats it and you love the way it rolls of his tongue with ease. You want to hear him say it over and over again till it’s like an over played song.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a blunt and pulls it to his lips. He lights it and his cheeks hollow as he takes a long drag. You feel yourself warm up again as you watch his actions attentively.

“You smoke?”

“Never have actually,” you say as you cast your eyes on your lap and fumble with the hem of your dress.

“Here, I’ll teach you. Take this.”

You take the blunt into your hands and lift it to your mouth and wait for further instruction before putting it in your mouth.

“Just put it between your lips and inhale. It’s going to feel really thick and it might hurt but you’ll get used to it and become a pro soon enough,” he says with a playful smile as he watches you raise the blunt to your parted lips.

You inhale and feel the air fill your lungs and you do, indeed, cough. The sudden eruption of the coughing fit startles you. You feel his hand come up to massage your back. The spot he massages feels warm under his hold. Eventually you stop and try again, this time the process is much smoother and you only huff at the feeling of the weed in your lungs.

“See mamas, you got it.”

Your ears perk at the use of the nickname. You chose to pay no mind to it because he probably uses it on plenty females platonically. This isn’t something special

Soon enough you begin to feel like you’re floating as you sit beside him and he watches you with a look in his eyes that you can’t quite decipher.

“I like the way you look smoking, it’s beautiful.”

“Thanks I guess,” you say as you drop your head and become interested in the seams of your dress.

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

You shake your head and raise your eyes to look at him.

“That’s okay, I’ll wait for you. I have a feeling it’ll be worth it.”

The two of you begin to have conversation, talking about anything he thinks will get you talking, which he succeeds at for the most part. He asks you about your family, your friends, school, the kind of music you listen to and even goes as far as wanting to know about your family pets.

He cracks a joke and you giggle, not because it was funny but because of how bad it was. He stops talking and admires you, your face lights up as the beautiful sound of your laugh fills his ears and he wants to hear this noise over and over again, so he cracks as many jokes he can just to see your shoulders rise and fall as you laugh.

Unconsciously, the two of you began to move closer as you talked. The barrier you had created had slowly started to dissipate. You talk about something that fills the air between you and the conversation is light-hearted.

“I want to try something and I have a feeling you’ll like it. Can I?”

“I mean I want to know but I’m nervous.”

“No need to be nervous mamas, I got you.”

It’s the use of the nickname that leads you to nodding your head once again before you can register your actions.

He brings the blunt up to his lips and takes a long drag, keeping his eyes fixated on yours as he does so. His gaze is intense and causes you to fidget. When he pulls the blunt away from his lips he raises his hand and rests it between your neck and your jaw, softly pulling you toward him and you cautiously comply. Your faces get closer and closer and your eyes drop to his lips. He brings his thumb to your lips and taps them lightly, indicating that you should part them. You do and he brings his lips close, you feel them brush yours.

He blows into your mouth and, instinctively, you inhale. Feeling the smoke from his mouth drift from your lips to his. Your close proximity to him causes your heart rate to pick up and you can hear your heart thumping against your ears. You drop your eyes to his lips and marvel at how pink and plump they look before you raise them to his eyes. He does the same, except he keeps his eyes trained on your lips, drawing his bottom lip between his and biting softly before letting it go.

He moves back a few inches before looking at you through hooded eyes. All the while he gazes on your face and memorises its beauty. Before you looked pretty but up close you’re like a painting to him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’m just thinking really hard here mamas.”

He wants to kiss you. He really want to kiss you But he doesn’t know how you’ll react. He doesn’t know how to test the waters with him but he does know for sure that he wants to feel your lips pressed against his softly and sweetly. Feel you sigh into his mouth and have his hands rest on your neck while he kisses you. But all he does is look at you.

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

“You.” He says in a heartbeat, voice low and raspy as he speaks. His tongue sticks out to wet his lips and you feel your breath get caught in the back of your throat.

You go quiet. For a moment he panics because he’s scared he’s lost you, but all you are doing is thinking of the right thing to say in this moment. You don’t want to ruin what’s already been going too well. The air in the room is thicker now with the new found tension between the two of you. You draw you lip between your teeth d he feels his stomach clench because ,fuck, you look good.

“What about me?” you hesitantly say, your voice is just above a whisper because you fear if you speak too loud, you’ll break the trance you and Zion had worked yourself into.

“I want to feel your lips on mine. I want to feel your body on mine. I just want to kiss you,” he says, voice rasping from the low octave it’s operating on.

You begin to feel warm all over and wondered if you should take this chance with him. What do you have to lose? What are the chances of you seeing him again? The problem is that you did want to see him again. You liked this man. You wanted something to grow from this one encounter and you wanted it bad. You move your body closer to his and take his hands into your own. Looking at them for a moment before you guide them to your waist, letting them rest on the small of your back.

“So kiss me,” you say softly with your eyes trained on his t-shirt.

With the approval, Zion takes a breath to calm his nerves. He doesn’t know why he’s nervous, but he is. He’s kissed plenty of girls; what’s the difference with you?

With one hand, he raises your head so that you're facing him and brings his face closer to yours. His forehead touches yours and you hold your breath, anxiously awaiting his next move. He let his eyes drop to your lips once more, memorising the way they looked before he leaned in and let his eyes fall shut. Yours did the same and you waited, until you felt it.

His lips connect with yours and you feel them warm up and the warmth spreads throughout your body. This kiss feels like sitting at a fire drinking hot chocolate. His lips are soft against yours and you let out a faint sigh which makes him smile into the kiss because he knows the nerves are mutual. Zion’s hand slowly drifts up your body, past your waist and shoulders and up to your neck where he rests it. His other comes and settles on your cheek, delicately caressing it and you melt into his touch.

He uses the hand on your neck to raise your head and give him more access to your lips which he can feel himself growing addicted to. His tongue swipes against your bottom lip and you let your lips fall open and he delves deeper into the kiss. Both his hands grasp your face as he skilfully works against your lips. His tongue caresses yours and he runs it cross your teeth which makes you hum in satisfaction. You raise your hands to his neck and softly tug and the hair there. He lets out a soft grunt before pulling your bottom lip between his teeth and biting softly before letting it go.

He stares at you for a moment through glossy eyes. This was the best kiss he’d ever had. It sure as hell was the best kiss you had had considering your limited experience intimately with people. You miss the feel of his lips against yours and bring your lips back to his. Your lips mould and you get lost in the euphoric feeling of this kiss. Zion feels his body come to life as he kisses you. Warmth pervades his body and runs all the way down to his toes. This feels different, good different. His hands drift back to your waist and he pulls you closer to him, your chests press against each other and he wants to moan at this feeling alone but stops himself.

“Hey Y/N, we kind of want to leave now. It’s pretty late,” you hear Michelle’s voice say.

You pull away from Zion and look up at your friend. You fell your features twist into that of embarrassment and quickly nod your head, silently telling her you will meet them all outside. She nods and turns on her heel, connecting her arms with Hannah and Kelly while they all begin to childishly giggle at having caught you lip locking with someone.

You turn to Zion and look him in the eye for a moment before the courage you had moments ago disappears and you let your eyes fall on his shirt again.

“Well, that’s my cue,” you say with a nervous laugh.

“Yeah...I guess so.”

“Well oka-“

“I want to see you again”

“Okay.”

“Here’s my number, text me. Please.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he says finally before pressing a soft kiss on your lips.

You stand to leave and he follows you, grasping your hand in his as he leads you to the door. The two of you walk hand in hand before you come to face the white exit. He turns your body so that you’re facing him and rests his arm around your waist and then he dips his head to kiss you goodbye.

“Until next time, Y/N,”

“Until next time, Zion.

[ironspiidey]

Starker Spofity Shuffle

So ive been struggling with severe writers block. After seeing some peeps do the song shuffle mini fic thing on tumblr I thought it might be a good way to curb said writers block. Fingers crossed guys.

Read on A03

Help Pour Out the Rain (Lacey’s Song)// Buddy Jewell (Parent!Peter, Innocent!Morgan )

Peter was just on his way back to the house after his and Morgan’s weekly ice cream date after much of both Pepper and Tony saying that he was her parent as Pep and Tony are and that she needed alone time with her Papa as much as her Mommy and Daddy. When Morgan piped up from the backseat

“Papa!”

“Yes peanut?”

“Will we ever visit Auntie Nat?”

Peter glanced back at her through the rear-view mirror “I wish we could but Nat is in heaven with the angels.”

“Can we go there? Like to visit or would we have to stay forever. Could god use another angel to poor out the rain?” Morgan kept questioning her papa while she kept looking out the window

“Sorry baby we can’t go visit or stay until its our time to do so sweetie.”

“Oh okay.” Morgan shrugs her shoulders, the 6-year-old was silent for a moment before asking about something else. Not noticed how her Papa’s eyes were misty.

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With it// Always Never (Teenage!Starker, Hidden Relationship!)

Peter doesn’t get it, one-minute Tony and he are on the same page than all of a sudden he’s ghosted hard.

Tony tells his buddies that him and Peter have a weird friendship. Which honestly is true. After the disaster that was Quentin Beck, Peter stopped putting his heart on his sleeve. He thought things would be kinda okay with him and Tony until Tony started hiding them like what the fuck is that. Especially since he was with guys openly it wasn’t a coming out thing. Maybe Tony is just scared because of how Peter told him to enjoy the ride and let it play out and not to worry about love.

Only reason Peter even said that was because he was A. Stoned as hell, B. Just getting over his ex and C. Knowing how much of a player Tony Stark was and didn’t want to lose this good vibe of a friendship thing they had. But now? Now Peter knows he’s in love with him and maybe next time they get high he’ll mention it. Tony is always 100% honest while high.

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Hymn For The Missing// Red ( Character Death, Grieving!Tony, Adult!Peter, )

Tony finds himself back on the rooftop of the tower once again still heartbroken 2 years later. He fucking lost Peter. Tony never forgave himself for it, staring at the sky he wonders what happens to those that were dusted. Are they alive but in an alternate universe? Or are they truly dead? Strange doesn’t say much about what could be and frankly Tony doesn’t really want to know. The thought of sweet Peter, his Babyboy truly dead forever or stuck in the galaxy drifting would be too much to bear. It’s bad enough as it is with the knowledge that he couldn’t save him in the first place. Tony takes a deep breath and downs the scotch in his hand. It helps numb helps the pain. But only a little.

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Difficult Love// City and Colour (Minor Cheating mentioned, Drug use Mentioned Tony fucked up a lot but Peter loves him)

Tony knows its not been easy for Peter to stick by him. All these years from his college days and the fights, the drugs, the ‘cheating’. Peter refuses to call what Tony did cheating, says they were on a break so he cant call it cheating, But Tony well he knows it was a dick move because they were only on a break because Peter felt Tony needed to deal with some of his issues on his own without having to worry about Peter too.

All that happened during that break was Tony getting high out of his tree on things much harsher than weed, sleeping with randos and 2 overdoses. One that nearly killed him.

At the same time, he knows he needed to go through all that to be the Tony Stark he is today. Maybe without the overdoses but he’s still breathing and that’s what counts, or that’s at least what Peter keeps drilling into his thick brain.

God Tony is so grateful Peter stuck by him through his difficult love all these years.

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Worst in Me// Julia Michaels (Jealous!Peter, they have issues, but Tony knows they can work through it)

Peter sighs out on the balcony of their home. THEIR home. Peter takes a deep breath. Tonight’s fight was bad real bad. Peter let his emotions get in the way, the bad ones. The ones where he can’t help but be jealous of the woman that try to hang of Tony, his husband. They worked through so much shit. From abusive exs and past traumas together to have something so stupid get in the way. Peter shakes his head. Why does the worst in him have to come out and ruin things? Things used to be so great with him and Tony. But of course, Tony pushes and Peter pushes back and then they end up like this. Peter swallows and heads back inside, headed for the lab where he knows his better half is bound to be.

Peter tries the door, but it won’t him which means Tony is very mad and Peter definitely crossed the invisible line of don’t go here.

“Friday? Can you open this door?”

“Sorry Peter, Boss said no visitors, especially Spiderhusband.”

Peter lets out a sad chuckle at the little nickname.  “Can you patch my voice through to the lab.”

“Of course.”

“Tony..”

“Peter please go away.”

“Just hear me out, I promise if you don’t want to hear from me. Ill go stay with May or Bucky or something. Just please” Peter swallows, his voice starting to break. “Just let me say my piece first.”

Tony doesn’t look up from his hologram, just motions with his hand for him to continue.

“Its like I’ve got this chain reaction to act like a total dick. That the worst in me just must make an appearance when things are just getting good. I bring out all your monsters and I’m so sorry Tony. I’m not perfect but I cant lose you.. We used to be so happy and I know we could fix these kinks and the bad parts may not want to fix this, us. But the best in me wants to love you until the end of every forever.”

By the end of Peter’s spiel, both of them are crying. Tony walks over to the door and unlocks it. Opening his arms “C’mere Petey Pie. We are never above fixing. I get bitter.” Tony wraps his arms tightly around his husband as he ran into his arms “But I didn’t exactly stop people from mauling over me and I’ll do my very best to not hurt you again baby, We can do this.”

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Until the Day I Die// Story Of The Year (Hurt!Tony, Peter professes his love )

“God Tony this is so scary.” Peter swallows looking at his boyfriend and mentor laying in this hospital bed . “I need you to be okay. I know we haven’t been together long and this is definitely NOT the way to profess my love to you but the Doctors say your brain activity is fine and your just not waking up. So here goes.”

Peter glances at the door to make sure nobody was within listening distance. “Tony I feel like I loved you my whole life and not in the hero obsession everyone thinks. You’ve become my best friend, rock and partner all in one and while we only started becoming a thing. I love you with all of me until the day I die. If you don’t wake up and pull through this, if you.” Peter swallows “If you die, you’ll be taking me with you because without you Im nothing. Please Baby come back to me.”

[feisty-fae]

If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)

HoooH boY hEre we gO-

Alisons: Sexuality?

I sexually identify as a can of beans

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Cis female she/her

Amaryllis: Birthday?

27 September

Anemone: Favorite flower?

All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Idk depends on scenario??

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I've never had kith

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Well you see yes but actually no

Baneberries: Favorite song?

I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

We p chill fam

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol

Begonia: Favorite color?

PinKKK

But i like most colours

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Cats,,,,

FoxES,

ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

They're either really kind and sweet

Or literal demons from hell

Legit no inbetween

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

I'm afraid of lot of things-

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I was one dumbass bitcg-

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

Nop

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-

California Poppy: Height?

4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Pant, pink top and black hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I think i have??

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

My mom and my dad

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

I never kith

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-

Columbine: Are you tired?

No

I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Nothing in particular ig

Coneflower: Dream job?

Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert but i also get lonley easily

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Nop,,,,

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already

Ok basically i care a lot

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

Mayb art??

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

My parents

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Ehhh arT

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

EhhHh everything that isn't art-

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-

Hmmm

Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit

Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Ehhh oK??

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Mayhapsn't

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS

2. Fammm

3. eHhh yummy food,,

4. Drawing and uhhh art

5. EPIC MUTUALS

6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

MmmmmMy aRRt?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Wake up

Don't go to school

Vibe with friends

Sleeb

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

MmMmMM aRT-

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Friendos

Mom

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Ew yucky gröss

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

m y a r t

Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

Everything else-

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Climb trees and do dumb shit

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Same irl bestie i mentioned before

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

MmmmmmMMM,,,

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Idk what to rlly say lmao

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-

Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Hi mom ily ur epic

Onions: Tell about your dad.

Hi dad ily ur epic

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

Haha shit memory gor brrRR-

I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas

I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs

Peony: What was your first job?

I haven't had a job yet

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

I cri

Pink: Where is home?

Home is home home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Now where do i start...

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Hermmmst

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

Peoples laughsss also music

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

A

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Kinda difficult but im opening up more

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

fRIENDS,,,,,wAh

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hrs

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

Non existant

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-

Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-

IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

🤏

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

I haven't been reading anythinggg

But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Everywhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Mmm yummy 👅

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I am currently living and breathing yes

[dvp95]

quiet on widow’s peak (13)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 4.3k (this chapter), 42.9k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

Phil is herded out of the house before he can shower, style his hair, or put in his contacts. As soon as his clothes are finished drying, his parents are pushing him and all of his bags out the door.

“We’ve got someone coming to see the house,” his mum had explained in that half-frantic voice he associates with company arriving. “You’ve got somewhere to be, haven’t you?”

He doesn’t have the gumption to explain that he’s still got hours before he has to be anywhere. Instead, Phil just hoists his bags higher on his shoulders and sets off for the bus stop. The wind isn’t bad today, thank goodness for small mercies, but it still isn’t pleasant to be outside in November. He pushes his floppy, unwashed hair off his forehead and reluctantly sends Dan a message.

It’s still pretty early and Dan might be in class by now, so he doesn’t expect an immediate response. He’s halfway through a Buzzfeed article and leaning against the shaky bus window by the time his phone buzzes.

im omw from class now just meet me at my place

An address follows, close enough to the coffee shop and the Wilkins place for Phil to feel comfortable finding it. He’s not sure how comfortable he is with being in such a small, private place with Dan before spending most of the night with them. He wonders if his brewing feelings and abject confusion surrounding them will be obvious.

Phil bites his lip and taps away from the article. He’s not sure where to start, but he thinks it’s about time that he started looking into gender stuff. He’s lived with PJ for almost two years and been friends with him for longer, but this isn’t something they tend to talk about. Technically, he hadn’t even been told, he’d just picked up on it from conversations around the old Brighton house. PJ isn’t in the closet, but he seems to have the same attitude about his gender identity that Phil has about his sexual identity - it isn’t anyone’s business unless they’re actively pursuing him.

This isn’t about PJ, though. Phil can’t pretend like these bewildered Google searches are in any way an attempt to understand his friend better. This is about Dan.

--

“Dan?”

The girl looks confused enough that Phil thinks he’s gotten the wrong flat for a horrified moment, but then her brow uncreases and she laughs.

“Oh, duh. Sorry, she doesn’t have many people coming to visit.” She waves Phil inside and eyes his bags. “Especially not many that look like they’re moving in. You planning on staying long, mate?”

“Just the night,” Phil says, more or less honestly. His brain is still stuck on the new pronoun. He knows that Dan is fine with any pronouns, and that includes feminine ones, it just feels strange to have someone use the opposite of what most people might assume. “Er, my parents are selling their place and needed my junk out of the way.”

She nods and gestures deeper into the flat. It doesn’t have as many doors as the Brighton house that Phil shares with a rugby team’s worth of people, but it’s still enough to overwhelm him a bit. Seemingly in response to whatever panicked expression finds its way to Phil’s face, the girl laughs. “Winnie’s room is at the end of the hall,” she says. “Her name’s on the door, you can’t miss it.”

“Her name being Winnie,” Phil says slowly.

“That’s what she wants us to call her,” the girl says. There’s an edge to her voice now, a sort of protectiveness that Phil doesn’t know how to respond to.

Phil gives her an uncertain sort of smile and heads down the hallway. The common areas are surprisingly tidy for a student flat, but he still doesn’t feel comfortable there. He finds himself in front of a dark wooden door with a Winnie the Pooh poster stuck to it. It’s not exactly a nameplate, but Phil understands why their flatmate said that.

He knocks lightly, not wanting to disturb the other people who live here and might still be asleep. It’s barely past noon, after all, and Phil remembers what it was like to be a student. Hell, he doesn’t really have a proper sleep schedule now.

“Come in!”

Dan’s room is darker than the rest of the flat, and Phil has to let his eyes adjust for a moment as the door closes behind him. There are blackout curtains over the single window and fairy lights draped over every possible surface, giving the whole place a soft vibe. Phil doesn’t see Dan at first, but then he realises that they’re on the floor with -

“Is that a weasel?” Phil asks without bothering to say hello, dropping his bags carefully. The last thing he wants to do is scare the creature that’s scampering all over Dan’s shoulders and arms.

“Excuse me,” Dan laughs. They hold out the animal for inspection, and Phil joins them on the floor. “This is Tofu, he’s a ferret.”

“Hello, Tofu,” says Phil. He reaches out to gently take the ferret’s paw between his thumb and finger, and he pretends like they’re shaking hands. Dan laughs again, bright and happy, and Phil decides that he really likes seeing Dan in their comfort zone. “It’s very nice to meet you! I’m Phil.”

Tofu makes a squeaking sort of noise and wiggles out of Dan’s hands to roll around on the carpet.

“He’s kind of an idiot,” Dan says fondly. “Pixel is the smart one in this family, but she’s sleeping.”

Phil’s eyes follow Dan’s vague gesture to a surprisingly large, multi-level enclosure. There’s another ferret curled up in there, and Phil assumes that’s Pixel. “Exactly how many weasels do you have?”

“Just the two,” says Dan. They’re smiling so wide that Phil can’t bring himself to look away. Their lips are a dark shade of red, or maybe burgundy, but it’s hard to tell in the low lighting. The dark lines around their eyes are even more shadowed with it, though, and it’s an entrancing sort of effect. “Originally it was just the one, but she got so lonely. I should have gotten an introverted animal, I guess, if I didn’t want multiple, but I didn’t mind. Pixel wanted a buddy, so. Pixel got a buddy.”

“I think even introverts need buddies sometimes,” says Phil.

He’s suddenly so self-conscious about being here in his current state. He’s wearing his trusty denim on denim, which he knows suits him fine, but he’s also got his clunky glasses and can’t remember if he put deodorant on or not. Dan, on the other hand, looks as stunning as always.

That gets even more obvious as they lounge out a bit, uncrossing and stretching their long legs. Their leggings are tight and translucent enough that Phil might find them indecent if there weren’t a short, swishy skirt covering the important bits. When Dan stretches their arms out, too, their unbuttoned flannel falls further open and shows off the cropped band tee underneath.

Most of Dan’s body is covered, really. Only their hands and neck and navel are out, but that’s enough to make Phil’s brain short-circuit. Their hands are distractingly big, but still so gentle when they pick Tofu back up; their neck is long and ends in either a sharp clavicle or a soft, rounded jawline; their tummy is soft like the rest of them and there’s a simple barbell piercing through their belly button that Phil has to force himself to look away from.

“Have you talked to your friends about us going back?” Dan asks, seemingly oblivious to the way Phil is taking them in from head to toe.

“What?” Phil bleats, and then his brain catches up to the conversation before Dan can repeat themself. “Oh, yeah. I texted them about it, and they’re a bit worried, but they’re glad you’re coming along. They were pretty nervous about me doing this alone.”

“PJ said you tend to do stupid shit,” Dan says bluntly. Tofu is climbing up their arms and biting at their hair, but they don’t even react.

“When did PJ say that?”

Dan’s lips curve into a smile. “When he drove me home. We talked about you.”

Normally, a statement like that would make Phil anxious. He still feels it, a bit, that creeping sense of frustration and nervousness that he associates with mild anxiety, but it’s more dull than it would be if Dan wasn’t smiling at him so softly. Something about it makes Phil certain that he’d get an honest answer if he asked what they all said about him.

That certainty and budding trust are enough to keep his loud anxiety at bay, and Phil finds that he doesn’t feel the need to ask.

Instead, he looks around Dan’s room some more. Pixel is still napping soundly, and Phil doesn’t blame her - the room is so quiet and dim and full of pleasing scents from the candles on Dan’s nightstand, Phil can easily imagine curling up somewhere soft in here and nodding off.

The furniture itself is crappy in the way that most students have to deal with, but Dan seems to have an eye for design that Phil has never had. Sure, there’s no bed frame to hold Dan’s mattress, but their duvet matches the monochrome colour scheme of the posters and paintings on the walls, and their pillows look welcoming surrounded by a small collection of stuffed animals. Their desk is organized, but their closet is open and spilling clothes onto the floor a bit. Phil wonders if that’s something Dan had planned on fixing before he got here, or if Dan doesn’t mind having their dresses and jeans and boots on display.

There’s barely any colour at all, really, but it doesn’t feel depressing like Phil would have thought it might.

That’s not exactly true. There’s some colour.

Phil must be looking at the flag on the wall for too long, because Dan makes a humming sort of noise and breaks the comfortable quiet. “I know it’s a bit tacky,” they say, “and it doesn’t match, but… I dunno. I wasn’t able to be out until I got to uni, and I might have gone a bit nuts with it.”

“Yeah,” says Phil. His throat is a bit dry. “I can understand that.”

“It makes me feel safe,” says Dan. Phil turns to look at them again, but he regrets it as soon as he sees the genuine emotion in Dan’s wide eyes. He isn’t good with that. “Like. Knowing I can have it hung here, that I can be open with people without them being upset with me or something. I don’t think the flag itself makes me feel safe? But maybe that’s not true, either. Maybe embracing that part of myself helped me embrace the community as a whole. I haven’t done Pride yet or anything. Maybe next year. But - safety. Comfort. Y’know?”

“I do,” Phil says quietly. “I do know.”

Dan’s eyes go sharp. Phil hasn’t seen them do that before, and it’s unnerving how much it feels like his very soul is under scrutiny. He wants to squirm away from that feeling, doesn’t want any part of himself under a microscope, but he doesn’t want to run like he might normally.

There’s another moment of quiet, where Dan looks at Phil and Phil doesn’t look away, but of course Phil is the first to break.

“Which of those is your favourite?” he asks instead of saying the words he knows Dan is waiting for. He doesn’t want to run, but that doesn’t mean he needs to be more forthcoming. At Dan’s furrowed brow, Phil gestures to the bookshelf. Dan has a lot of books and movies and boxsets and textbooks, more than Phil can take in all at once. “The, uh, the anime. My favourite’s Fullmetal Alchemist. Er, Brotherhood, not the first one, but both are good.”

For a second, it doesn’t seem like Dan is going to allow him to change the subject so easily. But then Tofu bites at their ear and they’re both giggling, the intensity of the moment slinking off to make way for casual conversation.

--

Talking to Dan is easier than talking to some people that Phil has known for years. They put on a show that they’ve both seen and enjoy and they chat the whole time. Phil points out camera and editing choices that Dan hadn’t put much thought to before, and Dan rambles about theories they’d seen on Reddit for so long that Pixel has become Phil’s best friend by the end of it. Dan makes food at some point, their brief absence allowing Phil to look more carefully at the titles on their shelves. They have even more to talk about when Dan gets back, because Phil has a lot of opinions on some of the quote-unquote ‘classics’ that Dan reads and Dan has some opinions on Phil picking the cheese off his sandwich. Phil almost forgets that he’s here for a specific reason, that they aren’t just friends hanging out, until Dan brings out their Polaroid and starts asking questions about what to expect on the haunt.

Phil kind of wishes they could just stay here.

--

Before they left, PJ, Sophie, and Chris had all drawn several Sharpie sigils on a thin piece of scrap fabric and insisted that Phil tie it around his wrist or something. He takes it out of his pocket as he and Dan approach the house.

“Here,” he says, pulling them to a stop and rolling their sleeve up a bit. He ignores their big doe eyes and wraps it around their knobby wrist a couple of times. “Is that too tight?”

“No,” says Dan. They stay still while Phil ties it, and then they raise their hand to inspect it.

“It’s from the gang,” says Phil. “I know it seems like the sigils didn’t help last time, but - well, I dunno. Maybe they did help and it was going to be a lot worse without them. Or maybe they just rubbed off our skin too quickly. But, y’know, I know you don’t believe in this stuff, it just… it makes us feel better. I thought it would be a good placebo for you if nothing else.”

Dan touches the fabric and then smiles, looking for all the world like Phil has given them something precious.

“Thank you,” they say, their voice altogether too sincere for Phil to respond to without some major awkwardness. “What about you?”

“Oh, I’m already wearing my thing,” Phil lies. “C’mon, let’s get inside.”

The thing is, Phil figures Dan is the one who needs protecting from whatever is going on in the Wilkins place. They’re the one who got attacked last time, while Phil only dealt with flickering lights and the feeling of being watched. The last thing he needs is for Dan to insist on coming along again only to get themself hurt again.

He’s not sure if Dan believes him or not, but it doesn’t matter. Phil is already shouldering the back door open. He could climb through the window again with a boost from Dan, but he doesn’t think he has enough upper-body strength to pull Dan up after him.

The kitchen is as dark and dusty as ever, but that smothering, creeping feeling of eyes in the walls isn’t present. Phil stands still for a few seconds, waiting for it to wash over him again, but in the end he’s in the same place he figured he’d be from the beginning - listening to the creaking sounds of a house with absolutely nothing supernatural about it. He’s weirdly disappointed, but he imagines that Dan must be relieved.

He turns to Dan to see what they think, but their eyes are just as wide as they’d been the last time.

“Hey,” Phil says, quiet so as not to disturb the dust. “You feel something?”

“No,” Dan admits. They move closer to Phil, twisting their fingers into the cuff of his jacket and holding tight. It’s sort of sweet how they think he might leave them alone in this house, but it’s also somewhat of a nuisance to have a large person attached to him while he’s trying to move quietly.

“Then what’s wrong? Do you need to leave?”

Dan shakes their head. Their teeth dig into their dark bottom lip, and even though they reapplied their lip product before leaving the house, it still ends up on their teeth a little bit. Phil isn’t sure if he’s supposed to point it out or not. “I don’t need to leave or anything, it’s fine. I’m fine. Coming with you was the whole point. I just don’t… okay. Promise not to laugh at me?”

“I think I promise,” says Phil. He gives Dan a reassuring little smile. “But if you break into song and dance or something I reserve the right to change my mind.”

“Shut up,” Dan says, but they’re giggling. “No, I just… I just don’t like the dark, okay?”

It clearly takes something out of Dan to admit that. Phil shifts his hand so he can squeeze Dan’s. “Nobody really likes the dark,” Phil says. “I mean, it’s kind of my job, so I’m used to it, but I wouldn’t mind being somewhere brightly-lit and clean instead.”

“Thanks.” Dan’s cheeks look a bit darker, but that might just be the low lighting. “You can lead the way.”

--

Nothing happens.

There are spiders and dark corners and once or twice a loud noise from outside makes Dan jump and grab at his hand again, but Phil never feels like anything more is going to happen. The walls don’t have anything behind them except maybe rats, and even the attic simply makes Phil sneeze.

It’s frustrating. It’s almost worse than the night that he put his friends in danger, because at least then he knew that he could have a chance at a decent video. Now, there’s nothing to record.

Phil finds himself wishing for a flickering light or a quick shadow. He wants something, anything, to make him feel like he’s doing something productive with his life.

Instead, he just feels like he’s wading deeper into the confusion and shadows of his own future. He doesn’t know where he’s going to go if he can’t keep going back to the darkness of abandoned houses and old cemeteries. He went to uni, sure, but he hasn’t had a ‘real’ job in his life. Unless a month at the stationery store counts. He’s pretty sure it doesn’t. He wouldn’t even know where to begin with figuring out what he ought to be doing with his life if he isn’t chasing ghosts, but he’s not having fun with this anymore.

He’s twenty-six. It’s not old, he’s not old. He’s got plenty of time to figure his life out.

But if he’s spent the last decade wasting all his free time on something that isn’t enjoyable anymore, then he doesn’t know if he’s going to be able to forgive himself.

Dan is in his personal space again, pressing close to avoid the encroaching darkness, and they smell like… lavender. Phil remembers spice and mint from them, and he wonders if they’re wearing some kind of perfume today. It’s such a feminine scent that it’s hard for him to wrap his mind around the fact that he wants.

Further and further into the waters he goes. He doesn’t know what comes next for any of it, and it’s terrifying.

--

“We could stay all night again,” Phil is protesting, even as Dan frogmarches him down the back steps. “I know we didn’t find anything, but maybe it only works when you’re trying to sleep over? I could -”

“You’ll do nothing,” says Dan. “We are both going home, and I’m seeing you onto the bus so you don’t sneak back without me.”

Phil wants to object, but Dan tightens their grip on his arms like they know exactly what he’s going to say. Besides, it would probably be a lie. Phil is stressed and frustrated and in over his head, and if he could just get one clip or photo of this thing, then maybe everything will be okay. Maybe he can keep doing this after all.

He gently detangles himself from Dan and sighs, hoisting his backpack up. “Fucking… fine.”

“Fucking fine,” Dan repeats, their lips twitching.

“Maybe the sigils worked too well,” says Phil. He keeps his tone level so that Dan won’t be able to tell that he’s joking right away, but Dan shoves at his shoulder like they’re well aware of what he’s doing. “You know, I bet -”

“You’re annoying when you can’t do what you want, huh?” Dan interrupts. Their hands are shoved in their jacket pockets, but Phil wishes they weren’t. He wishes he could brush his hand against theirs as they walk and convince himself that it’s all an accident. “Bet that’s the baby brother in you.”

“No comment.”

The walk to the bus stop is quieter than the last time Dan walked him to it, but it's not uncomfortable. Phil can’t believe how much he cares about this person already. They’re friends, he’s pretty sure, and it’s impossible to deny how much this crush is starting to get to him. Still. It’s new, Dan is new, and Phil has to consider the possibility that the novelty is all he’s feeling.

It’s not. But he has to consider it, because Phil has to consider every possibility before he makes his mind up about anything.

“Hey,” Phil says, careful not to sound like he’s pushing.

“Hi,” says Dan. Phil isn’t looking at them, but he can hear a grin in their voice.

“I was just wondering,” says Phil. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if it’s a sore spot or anything like that, but. Your flatmate said you were called Winnie. Obviously I know you go by Winnie online, but I didn’t know you did it, uh, outside of cyberspace.”

“Cyberspace,” Dan repeats like they can’t help themself. “Yeah, sometimes. I usually use it like a test.”

“A test?”

Dan hums. Phil wishes, again, that their hands weren’t trapped in the confines of their jacket. “For people I might get closer to. I ask my flatmates to call me something that’s clearly not masculine and see how they react and how often they slip up. Maybe it’s mean, I guess, since I don’t actually care one way or the other, but it’s a lot easier for me to open up to people who have already proven that they’re able to think of me outside of the Daniel box.”

“I can call you Winnie,” Phil offers. “If that’s what you want to be called. And I’m not a complete idiot, I’m sure I could remember to call you Dan when I’m bothering you at work.”

“Planning on bothering me at work some more?” Dan asks. They don’t wait for an answer. “No, I like Dan fine. They’re both fine. They just serve me different purposes, I guess, and I’m not bothered by either of them.”

“I don’t totally get it,” Phil admits. “But I’ll do whatever you want.”

“I know.”

Suddenly, Dan is tangling their long fingers with Phil's. It’s just for a second, long enough for the same sort of reassuring squeeze that Phil gave to them in the Wilkins place, but it makes Phil’s heart jump into his throat.

“You’re, like, overly considerate,” says Dan. They sound like they’re teasing - Phil hopes they’re teasing. He really, really doesn’t want to mess this up.

“I just think you should be able to, like, tell me if I do something wrong.”

Dan laughs. “You’re not getting it. That’s okay, you don’t have to get it. I will tell you if you do something wrong, I just have a really wide range of things I’m indifferent about before you get to the things that matter. Call me a boy or a girl or whatever, I don’t care. Try to imply that my favourite Pokémon is fucking Goldeen, on the other hand -”

They ramble all the way to the stop, and Phil finds himself feeling better despite the fruitless hours of wandering a dusty house.

“This is me,” Phil says as he sees headlights coming down the street towards them.

“Message me tomorrow,” Dan insists. For a moment, they’re both just standing there. Phil has no idea what he’s supposed to do in this situation. Surely a handshake would be weird, but would a hug be weirder? Should he just pat their shoulder, or is that absolutely the creepiest thing he could do? They had both waved, yesterday, so maybe that’s what he ought to do again. His eyes drift to Dan’s mouth. The product is still mostly there, but there are indents where their front teeth have been digging all night that show the natural colour of their lips.

That’s not an option, Phil reminds himself with a little shake. He’s about to keep overthinking it when Dan wraps their arms around him and says something that sounds like a goodnight. They smell good, and they feel good, and the only thing that gets Phil stepping back is the sound of a bus stopping next to them.

“Bye,” he says, quiet. Dan’s smile is almost enough to make him miss this bus and wait for the next one.

[starryseo]

another world. | kim seungmin

pairing ↠ seungmin x gender neutral!reader

genre ↠ this was meant to be fluff but if you read the warnings below, you will see that that failed

wc ↠ 8863

summary ↠ video games are fun, but being trapped in one isn’t as nice, even if you’re stuck in it with your best friends

warnings ↠ swearing, fighting (mentions of blood) and major character death (i’m sad but not sorry)

a/n ↠ one of my faves, hope you all enjoy!!

16:43: Hyunjin -  17 more minutes!!!!!

16:43: Felix – tHIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME

16:44: Jisung – 16 more minuTES!!!!!!!!

16:44: You – i leave for half an hour and yoURE STILL COUNTING DOWN

16:44: Felix – stop killing our vibes bro

16:44: Hyunjin – #HaterzAreMyMotivatorz

16:44: Jisung – it makes it more exciting okay joIN US

16:45: Felix – it’s a new minute……….

16:45: Hyunjin – say it y/n

16:45: Jisung – say it say it say itsayitsayit

16:45: You – it’s time

16:45: Felix – :)

16:45: You – for me to get new friends

16:45: Felix – :(

16:46: Jisung – :((

16:46: Hyunjin – :(((

16:46: You – :D

16:46: Hyunjin – we’re not friends anymore

16:46: Jisung – agreed

16:46: Felix – agreed x2

16:47: You – agreed x3

16:47: Jisung – wHy Do YoU hAtE uS

16:47: You – because none of you are giving me chan’s number :(

16:47: Felix – he’s out of your league

16:47: Hyunjin – he’s out of MY league

16:47: You – hyunjin shut up

16:47: Jisung – hyunjin shut up

16:47: Felix – hyunjin shut up

16:48: Hyunjin – what’s with this slander?? weren’t we all against y/n?

16:48: You – they finally realised i’m better than you

16:48: Jisung – omg shut up and get online PLEASE

You turned your phone off, running down from your bedroom to your living room. Grabbing your controller, you hit a button, waking up your console from its rest mode. The screen still showed the loading image of the game you had downloaded. So far, only a beta version of the game had been released to the public, and the four of you were more than excited to try your hand at it, seeing as it was one of the latest, most talked about, virtual reality games. Since it was still an unfinished game, only a certain number of people could join, so you all had loaded the game beforehand, the developers updating you that the game would officially be ready to play at 5PM exactly.

Clearing the room so you had space to move, you grabbed the SenseSet, the headset built just for this franchise, propping it on your head and fixing the mic. It was a headset that stimulated all of your senses via your brain, so you could fully experience and control your in-game character. You watched eagerly as the minutes ticked away, getting closer to 5PM. When you had mere seconds left, you grabbed your controller, ready to hit the ‘X’ button and start the game as soon as possible. When the clock struck five, you pushed the button, waiting with bated breath. As soon as the loading screen faded into a welcoming screen, you cheered, immediately grabbing your phone.

17:00: You – IM IN BITCHESSSSS

17:00: Jisung – jhsfkjashf SAME HERE

17:00: Felix – ayyyyy #squad

17:00: Hyunjin – i didn’t get in

17:00: You – sucks to be you

17:00: Jisung – better luck next time bro

17:00: Felix – oh well

17:01: Hyunjin – why are you bitches so heARTLESS

Hyunjin – I WAS LYING. I GOT IN, BUT SCREW YOU ALL

17:01: You – we knew you were lying

17:01: Hyunjin – h o w

17:01: You – intuition? :’’’)

17:01: Felix – spidey senses???

17:02: Jisung – your profile says you’re in the game dumbass

17:02: Hyunjin – oh yeah whoops

Grinning as the page finished loading, you went through a quick set-up of adjusting the screen size and resolution before the game actually began. A robotic voice, you couldn’t tell whether it was male or female, started speaking as your screen changed to a dark blue colour, the words they spoke appearing as though someone was typing them on screen.

“Welcome to Another World,” it began, the screen fading to show vibrant images of the virtual reality game. It showed hills and rivers where people were training and fighting, and also the bustling towns where people had gathered for festivities. The typing continued over the images in the background. “A place where you can be who you want, however you want. Make new friends, explore new places and forever have fun, in this brand-new world where you are your own master. Please enter your real name – this will only be visible to people you have chosen to share it with.”

On screen, a keyboard appeared, and you used your controller to spell out your name before hitting enter.

“Please enter your screen name – this will be visible to everyone.”

Typing in your username, WhoAmI, you were glad it was available and you didn’t have to spend time thinking of another one. The screen then zoomed into the world until one street was displayed. A plain figure was also displayed on screen with your username above their head. A banner with ‘Recreate yourself’ written on it was at the top of the screen, different settings emerging on the side with buttons to personalise your character. After much deliberating, you had created your whole character finally adding a black cloak with a silver dragon embellished on it to complete the look. You hit enter and the screen transitioned to a first-person perspective, still in the street.

“On your wrist, there is a Viewer – it is impossible to remove the Viewer and tampering with it will result in a ban. Please click on the Viewer’s screen.” The voice instructed.

You clicked on the watch, a hologram-like screen appearing in front of you now. As a default, it opened your profile, displaying your name, username, level and health bar. There was an empty friends list to the side and multiple other tabs at the top too.

“To add another person, you must open your friends list,” the voice told, just as a square highlighted your friends list. “Please click on your friends list.”

You were taken through a thorough tutorial of how to use the Viewer, familiarising yourself with the other tabs (the main ones being the inventory and map tabs).

“Please head to the Town Hall. Use your map to navigate to it.”

Opening the map, you looked for where Town Hall was written, clicking on it so a path was highlighted. You closed the screen, the map shrinking down to be displayed on the Viewer.

Upon arriving, the voice spoke up, “Enter the Town Hall building for a briefing.” Just as you were making your way to the building, you heard several voices call out your name.

“Y/n, where are you?”

“Oh man, what if they already died?”

“Shut up, Felix; if you haven’t died, I doubt they have.”

You turned to the boys standing just off to the right of the building. You made your way to them, swinging your arm around one of them as you grinned. “Did you guys miss me?”

“Ew, of course not,” Hyunjin grumbled, shrugging your arm off of him.

“C’mon, we were waiting for you to come so we could go in together,” Jisung spoke up.

“Aw, cute, you’re all lost without me,” you laughed, making your way to the building.

“I told you we should’ve left without them,” Hyunjin mumbled and you nudged him.

You all entered the building one after the other, but as soon as you entered, you could no longer see them. The place was filled only with computer generated characters to fill the scene.

“Guys, can you hear me?” you questioned aloud, looking around. “Felix, you there? Jisung? Hyunjin?”

After radio silence, you walked forwards a couple of steps before a voice spoke out. “Welcome to Another World. I am the developer of this world, Park Jinyoung, and now, I am in control. You may have noticed that the tutorial failed to show you a log out button – that is not a defect or glitch. You cannot log out of Another World, and an outsider will not be able to shut down or remove the SenseSet from your head; doing so would force the transmitter in the headset to discharge a microwave signal into your brain, destroying it and killing you. Media outlets are already aware of what removing the SenseSet would do, so the likelihood of removal is, hopefully, minimal. Cutting the power will also be futile as I installed an internal battery in the SenseSet.

“Now that we have all 1,500 people in the game, the world and all its mysteries will be acting in full force. The only way to get out of the game is to clear the three boss levels I have personally created. If, at any point, your health falls to zero or you are killed, not only will your avatar be killed, but the SenseSet will trigger the microwave signal, ending your life, so reviving someone is impossible. Only once you have cleared a level can you move onto the next. Once all three levels have been cleared, the game will end. Players, I wish you all good luck and remember to have fun. Thank you for playing Another World. This concludes your tutorial.”

When the booming voice silenced, the noise from the computer characters took over your senses once again. You quickly turned around, rushing out of the door you had come again. You were met with Hyunjin’s character looking around worriedly, and you jogged over to him, asking, “Where are the others?”

“They haven’t come out yet; did you get the same message?” He looked relatively scared, like a deer caught in headlights, eyes wide and unfocused.

“About this being real? Yeah, what the hell kind of messed up shit is this?”

“What the hell was that?” you heard someone yell, and you and Hyunjin turned to see Felix running out of the building towards you.

He was followed by Jisung who was repeatedly saying, “No, no, no, this can’t be real, right?”

Hyunjin was the first to speak up, “It makes sense,” he started, and you all turned to him, fear evident in your eyes, “he wasn’t lying about the internal battery and there really is no log out button – I went through all the settings. Plus, we have no control of our bodies now, so we wouldn’t be able to pull off the SenseSet even if we wanted to.”

He was definitely correct about that last part, even you were sure about that. The SenseSet had been advertised as the most revolutionary headset since it gave the user the full experience their character would undergo, the only way to regain your senses was to quit whatever game you were playing.

“So, we’re actually stuck here?” Felix murmured, stuffing his hands in his pockets, “And we have to fight to get out?”

“Wait…” Jisung started, hesitantly, “Would we have to kill people, like, actual people and not just the computer-generated ones?” You all looked at each in silence, no one answering him since the answer was obvious and grim.

“We should get a move on,” you suggested, Hyunjin nodding along with you. “We should try to level up or something, learn more about the game so we can get the hell out of here.”

“We need to do that quickly, there are probably other players that wouldn’t hesitate to attack us.” Hyunjin said, opening his Viewer up, “Let’s add each other first, though.”

You all opened up your Viewers, adding each other. You snorted at Hyunjin’s username, “‘JinyoungILY’, dude you’re such a loser.”

“Says you, ‘WhoAmI’; you’re a lameass, that’s who you are.”

“Oh, burn!” Felix laughed, high-fiving Hyunjin.

“Shut up, ‘Here2FixIt’, how stupid,” Jisung rolled his eyes, “I don’t even want that name to be in my friends list.”

“Oh shush, you love me, ‘ProteccTheSquirrels’,” he grinned, slinging his arm around Jisung’s shoulders.

“Let’s just all agree that I have the best username,” Hyunjin said, smirking. And so, one-by-one you all unfriended Hyunjin, walking away together.

The four of you had explored the map as much as you could before evening came. After talking to some other players, you found out that people could go on missions which would help train yourselves, boost your levels and give you experience points and qreele – the currency in this world.

Earlier, the four of you had taken a few small missions, helping some computer-generated characters decorate their houses, assisting in a charity shop and other mundane tasks. This gave you enough money to head to a nearby café where you all snacked on cake and hot drinks. The drink warmed you up perfectly after spending the whole day out, working and learning more about Another World, and the setting sun made you even more tired. You ate the final part of your cake, the cream tasting so real, so delicious, yet you still couldn’t come to terms with being stuck in a game.

“Guys,” Felix started, leaning his head on the table sideways, “where are we even going to sleep? I’m tired as heck.”

“Sleep is for the weak!” Jisung exclaimed, chugging the second coffee he had ordered.

“Idiot…” Hyunjin mumbled, rolling his eyes at Jisung, “We should probably look around for a place to stay, it’s getting even darker outside.”

You all got up after that, throwing away your rubbish and leaving the café. After wandering around for a few minutes, you walked past an alleyway. You all chose not to walk down there but hearing grunts of pain from there enticed you all to check out what was happening. You hid along the sides of the entrance, trying to look at the commotion. You heard the clatter of metal against the ground before someone growled out, “I won’t ask again, give it to me.”

A feeble voice coughed out, “No, get away from me.”

“Shit,” Felix whispered, eyes widened in panic, “We have to help him out.”

“How?” Jisung squeaked out, “We can barely even see what’s happening!”

The streetlights barely glowed in the alleyway, only showing their shadows on the ground and illuminating the dumpsters and rubbish lining the floor. Hyunjin took lead, instructing Jisung to grab a nearby pot, Felix to duck behind the dumpster and for you to grab the nearest bin lid as a shield. He then moved away from the wall, cupping his mouth with his hands. “Hey, dumbass, why don’t you pick on someone your own size!”

The man, realising the guy on the floor wasn’t going anywhere, dashed in Hyunjin’s direction. Just as he was running past, Felix stuck his leg out, tripping the man over so he thudded to the ground. Jisung threw the pot at the man, managing to hit his head. The man seemed stunned and Felix used this time to help the injured man up just as Hyunjin tackled the guy out of the way. He gained strength, however, easily pushing Hyunjin off who slammed against the wall. He turned to Hyunjin swinging his arm back when you threw the lid at him, hitting his back and grabbing his attention away from Hyunjin. In that moment, Hyunjin kicked the man in the back of his knees, him falling to the ground once more, as Jisung picked up another object, throwing it at the man.

Just as you and Felix had managed to grab the injured man and Hyunjin, the attacker grabbed the bin lid throwing it at Jisung. It flew into his shoulder, the edge cutting him and tearing his shirt. He grabbed his shoulder, grunting in pain, as it started to bleed.

As soon as you heard the man get up, cursing, you heard a small rock-like object hit the ground and then smoke emerged, clouding your vision. You heard a voice usher you guys to follow them and, having no other choice, you did. After a while of running, you somehow managed to lose the burly man you had just fought off somewhat successfully.

“Okay, I think we’re in the clear now,” he spoke, leading you guys to a side street which was lit up well. You tried looking at his face but the mask and cloak he was adorned in concealed him well.

“Uh, guys…” Felix called, “What the hell’s happening to this guy?”

“It’s like he’s disappearing,” Hyunjin said, shaking the man’s shoulders to try and wake him up.

“Look!” Jisung pointed, “His Viewer’s flashing!”

“Let me see,” your saviour said, rushing to the man and holding his wrist. “Oh God, he has no health left.”

“He’s at zero?” you asked, moving closer to the group, just as the man opened his bruised eyes.

“Th-Thanks for saving me,” he barely managed to croak out.

“He is now.” The man who had saved you replied, showing you the Viewer which displayed the number zero in a large, black font. Simultaneously, your heads turned back to the injured man just as his eyes shut, body becoming pixelated as bright colours appeared as small dots until they all faded into a grey shadow of the body.

And then he vanished. In his place was a blue screen with the words XxILoveDarkxX has left printed on it.

Hyunjin and Felix’s arms fell limp to their sides, no longer holding up a body.

“Did… Did he seriously just go?” Felix asked, facing the hooded man.

“Shit, please tell me that was a computer not an actual person,” Jisung said, also facing the man.

He shook his head slowly, “Computers don’t get Viewers, he is- he was human.”

In the sombre silence, the four of you followed the man back to his hideout. He led you to the entrance of another alleyway, but he didn’t walk further. Instead, he looked back, checking for any lurking players, before he crouched to the floor, lifting the metal plate leading to the sewers.

“Your secret place is the sewers?” Hyunjin asked, raising a brow and facing you as though asking you ‘should we make a run for it?’

“Just trust me,” he replied, ushering for you all to go down first.

Felix went first, followed by Jisung who struggled as his shoulder was still injured. You and Hyunjin then went, followed by the man, who made sure to close the lid again. There were light green lights illuminating the place and, strangely, there was no dirty water contaminating the whole floor, but there were two streams on either side of the walkway. Once you had climbed down, the man told you to follow him further in.

You eventually arrived at an open area – a place you definitely didn’t think would exist under the ground. The middle part of the room was slightly lower than the rest and there was a large sofa on one side, a table in the middle and a TV on the other side. There were arcade games lining part of a wall and a fridge next to it and a counter beside it. There was even a door with ‘TOILET’ spray painted onto it. The whole place seemed like the most perfect underground headquarters you had ever come across. You looked further on and there was higher ground with a tree planted in the middle; there were training dummies scattered around that room with weapons hanging off of them and other training facilities on the side.

“Dude, this is wicked!” Felix exclaimed, running ahead and jumping on the sofa.

“There’s no way you could’ve built this place,” Hyunjin inquired, turning to the man – he still hadn’t revealed his name, but his username which, you only brought your attention to now, was ‘SquirtleMin’. “The game was only released today, how’d you know about this?”

The man shrugged his shoulders, pulling his hood off and his mask down, “I was running away from some people, and, what better place to hide than underground?”

“I don’t mean to be a nuisance, guys,” Jisung called out, “like, please, carry on, I’ll just carry on bleeding out, it’s fine.”

“Oh shit, Jisung, you idiot,” you said, pulling him to the sofa.

“Yeah, I’m the idiot, it’s not like you were the ones that forgot I got hurt.”

“In our defence, a man did just die,” Hyunjin said, “I think we’ve got more important things on our mind.”

“I was hurt saving your dumb ass!”

‘SquirtleMin’ had just come back from the bathroom, looking through a first aid kit. He pulled out some gauze, bandages and a saline solution. “I don’t actually know what I’m doing,” he started, “don’t you know what to do?” He asked Felix.

“The username’s just a joke, dude,” he laughed, holding up both hands innocently.

“Don’t trust Felix with that,” Hyunjin interfered, grabbing the solution, “he’d probably kill Jisung.”

Somehow, Hyunjin had cleaned the cut and wrapped it in the bandages successfully and Jisung’s health had stopped slowly decreasing – he was only at 93 which wasn’t too drastic.

“Here, drink this.” The man told Jisung, handing him water. “It should help regain your health.”

“So, who are you, ‘SquirtleMin’?” you asked, crossing your arms and relaxing into the sofa.

“Who am I, ‘WhoAmI’, that’s a great question.” The man laughed, sitting on the table opposite you.

“If you guys are going to make bad username puns, just kill me now,” Jisung groaned, leaning his head back onto the sofa.

“C’mon, let’s just add each other,” Hyunjin suggested, opening his Viewer to add the man. You all followed after Hyunjin and he accepted, revealing his name to be Kim Seungmin.

“Wait…” Hyunjin started hesitantly, “You go to school with us, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I didn’t realise it was you guys until now.” He grinned, “I thought I just met another group of losers.”

“You’re hilarious, aren’t you, Squirtle?” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, joining Seungmin on the table.

“Yes, I am, ‘Jinyoung I love you’,” Seungmin smirked, nudging Hyunjin’s arm, “Mind asking your lover to get us out of his game?”

Hyunjin scoffed just as Felix snorted out a laugh, “Disgusting, I don’t love that creep, I have standards. I love GOT7’s Jinyoung.”

“Their names are both Park Jinyoung,” Jisung pointed out, posing as though he was thinking of something.

“The creepy ass game developer is part of GOT7!” Felix exclaimed, jumping up, “Conspiracy theories!”

“He should’ve just stuck to the music industry,” you grumbled.

The five of you had created makeshift beds and hammocks to rest in overnight; they weren’t the most comfortable things to sleep in, but for now it was good enough.

That morning you ate breakfast with the food already in the fridge before deciding on what tasks to do for that day. Jisung had healed up fine overnight, so he, Felix and Hyunjin decided to go on a mission whilst you and Seungmin headed to the library to get books on this place before exploring more.

“Dude, this is tiring,” you groaned, faceplanting into the book in front of you. It had been a good few hours since you arrived at the library, reading book after book on anything and everything about this world – from its vast history and how it came to be, to the creatures and legendary monsters hidden within. “If I read another word about how freaking amazing the scenery in this hellhole is, I’m going to cry.”

Seungmin held back a laugh, rolling his eyes at your antics. “Why are you so dramatic? It’s your own fault for picking the boring books,” he pushed a book, ‘Magnificent Myths’, your way. “Read this one.”

“But you just read that,” you moaned, pushing it back and resting your chin on the table, “and the title sounds cheesy as heck, man.”

“You’re so difficult,” he murmured, and you grinned when he shut the book in his hand, pushing it aside. He mimicked your position, leaning over the table, face mere inches away from yours. “What do you want to do, then, y/n?”

Your eyes lit up enthusiastically as you exclaimed, “Let’s eat!”

“Silence!” The librarian – an old woman with dagger-like eyes – bellowed, glaring at you and Seungmin from behind the counter.

“Do you have to be so loud?” Seungmin whispered, peering over at the librarian in case she was still looking.

“Oh, relax,” you shrugged, giggling at his worried expression, before getting up and stretching your joints out. “Let’s go!”

He huffed, grabbing the books he had yet to read in his hand as you carried the others to put away. He quickly scanned the books before catching up with you as you waited by the exit.

You took him to a fast food place you had spotted on your way to the library. After buying your food, you managed to grab a table in the corner, settling down in the booth. You started sipping on your smoothie, the drink refreshing you perfectly.

“This may just be pixels,” Seungmin started, “but, damn, this tastes wicked.” You laughed at his blissful expression as he breathed in the food, barely taking time to enjoy it properly.

You stole some chips from his plate, grinning when he huffed and complained, “you have your own food, why are you taking mine, you thief?”

“Food tastes better when it’s stolen,” you winked, taking another chip, but before you could bite it, Seungmin had grabbed your wrist, using all his strength to force your hand his way so he could eat the chip from your hand.

You pouted when he successfully managed to eat it, glumly picking up your own chips instead now.

“You’re right, it does taste better when stolen.”

“Holy shit, this looks badass,” Hyunjin gasped, holding yet another sword. His hand smoothed over the blade, index finger tracing over the letters engraved onto it.

“That’s what you said about the last sword,” Seungmin groaned, rolling his eyes at Hyunjin’s fascination, “Can you actually help us out now?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hyunjin mumbled, messing around with the sword in a few random poses before he hung it on another display rack, finishing off the sword collection. The five of you had been tidying up the hideout this week, alternating between missions to get enough money for resources to revamp the place.

“Another win!” Felix cheered just as Jisung hit his head against the game machine, “Pay up, sucker.” Felix held his hand out just as Jisung opened up his inventory, giving Felix one of his prized weapons.

“I’m pretty sure you cheated,” he grumbled, sniffing as he reluctantly sent the dagger to Felix whose Viewer lit up with a notification.

“I told you not to play against him,” you said to Jisung, having finished repainting the last wall with Seungmin. “He’s obsessed with the game and you thought you could beat him?”

“Stop judging me,” Jisung glared at you as you laughed, joining Felix who was admiring his newly-received prize.

The three of you joined Seungmin and Hyunjin on the sofas, relaxing after having spent the whole morning re-painting the walls and unboxing weapons you had gathered on your adventures. Hyunjin and Felix had found a secret basement filled with different decorations and paints, so you all decided to re-paint the walls and spray paint over it, personalising the hideout to suit you all.

The training area had been the worst to reconstruct, and you even took the weapons already there to a blacksmith. Hyunjin had read up on the weapons and there were a couple of rare, enhanced swords and shields hidden here. You had taken a particular liking to the magical books that were in the basement, practising the different techniques and spells written in there. There was a handwritten book thrown on the floor of the training area, with more powerful spells and enchantments that you had been practising, although they were incredibly hard to control and energy-consuming.

Over the months, you all had been training in different areas, like your lives depended on it – and they did. Where you were training in the magical arts and had gotten to level 103, Felix had become more agile and stealthy, choosing to become an assassin-like character, learning hand-to-hand combat and how to wield a dagger and gun, rising to level 95. You had watched him practice for so long, pouring blood, sweat and tears into perfecting his martial arts; you couldn’t help but admire how much he excelled at this, even helping yourself and the other boys when he could, so you could all spar together.

Hyunjin had chosen to be more long range, polishing his archery and sniping skills to become a level 97. You always made sure he ate properly – he had a tendency to spend hours training his precision and looking through small scopes, so whenever you spoke to him, his eyes would look exhausted from squinting so much.

Their training was always intense and much harder to level up when they were constantly fighting and draining energy. You practised your healing skills on them: when they would fight, you would see how long it took you to heal them both a considerable amount; you also taught them small healing spells in case you weren’t ever around and they needed to fix themselves up. You had also read about lots of different potions, experimentally brewing one for Hyunjin to lessen the strain on his eyes. Despite several failed attempts at the start, you learned a lot more about different ingredients and how to use them to their full potential.

Jisung and Seungmin had become typical fighters, but Jisung was more of a paladin, strengthening his defence, so, when the time came, he could take on heavy attacks without losing health drastically; Jisung was a level 110 and Seungmin a level 113. Jisung and Seungmin would always push you three to fight against them, so they could become quick to defend themselves against attacks from all distances and angles. Despite the severity of your situation, you all enjoyed the fights that ensued, training together had not only made your characters stronger, but brought your group together, like a tight-knit family of teens.

“Race you to the river!” Felix exclaimed, taking off as soon as you all arrived at the park. Jisung and Hyunjin dashed after him, dropping the baskets and footballs they were holding. The sun was starting to set, casting an ethereal orange glow on the water and fields below.

“Why did we get stuck with these idiots?” Seungmin grumbled, laying out a mat where they had dropped everything, before flopping down on the ground. “Seriously, I feel like their dad looking after them.”

You were just about to taunt him further when you heard Hyunjin yell out, “It’s every man for himself!”

You and Seungmin both turned to see the three of them sprinting away from police guards and you simultaneously sighed. You slumped to the ground besides Seungmin, turning to him. “I feel like their parent too.”

You were staring up at the sky, unaware of Seungmin’s eyes widening – the sun wasn’t the only thing painting his cheeks pink.

He sat up, and your gaze followed, before he tugged you up by your wrist. “Let’s go.”

“Go where, exactly?” you questioned, standing up after him regardless.

“Away.”

He stored everything in his inventory before whisking you away to the river. You had no clue where Hyunjin, Jisung and Felix were, but your mind paid them no heed anyways.

The two of you followed the river downtown, talking about everything and nothing. You couldn’t help but notice how Seungmin was still holding your hand. He had let go when he opened his inventory up, taking out some food for you both to snack on, but he held on again as soon as you had taken the food. This single connection had you riled up, your body fluttering at the warmth his hand exuded. You listened to him as he hummed a song to fill the lull in your conversation. You loved hearing him sing – he would do it in the underground home whenever he thought he was alone, and you could never stop yourself from listening in, hanging on to each word he sang.

“Do you ever think about home?”

His sudden question broke you out of your trance, and you let out a small, “huh?”

He repeated his question and you pursed your lips, so many thoughts taking over your mind. You thought back to your family, your real home, and how life would have been much different had you not logged in. You couldn’t imagine what your family must be going through – you often wondered how they were coping with this ordeal. Were they still worrying about you, or had they lost hope? Would they welcome you with open arms if you ever came back?

“Yeah,” you murmured, “it’s a scary thought, though. Everything’s going to feel so weird if we ever manage to get back.”

“When,” he emphasised, and you furrowed your brows, confused. “Not ‘if we get back’, but ‘when’.” He grinned after that, smiling cheekily as he added on, “Have a little faith in me, y/n.”

“You’re my hero, Squirtle,” you quipped, rolling your eyes as his smile grew.

“C’mon, let’s get ice cream!”

As soon as you entered the hideout, you heard Felix exclaim, “They’re finally back!”

When you walked to where they were, Hyunjin grumbled, “So you’ve finally decided to join us?”

“Ignore him,” Jisung said, nudging Hyunjin, “He’s still salty because the policeman managed to tackle him.”

“I tripped first!”

“Anyways,” Jisung exaggerated, clasping his hands, “how was your date?”

“What date?” Seungmin asked.

“Don’t think we haven’t noticed your hands, Minnie,” Felix commented, and Seungmin broke the hand-hold, quickly holding onto his other hand.

“Oh, shut up,” Seungmin grumbled, leaving the room. “I’m going to sleep, good night.”

Once he had left, all 3 boys turned to you, smirks galore and eyebrows dancing in mischief.

“Screw you all,” you mumbled, going to your room, and they burst out laughing at your annoyed face.

Your group had become very well known in Another World, noticeably due to you being able to defeat the first two bosses within 6 months of the game. It had been a gruelling 6 months, training every day and doing harder missions to get enough money to stay alive. You had even named yourselves ‘I am NOT’, people spray painting your title as a semblance of hope and faith that you could break the game and escape. People still had no idea of your hideout and you were glad; although you were a beacon of hope, there were twisted groups that fed off of the control the game gave them, and a group of youngsters that were close to defeating the final boss was the exact opposite of what they wanted. You had gotten into many fights, never intentionally taking another life – it was a rule you had all agreed upon: do enough damage to end a fight not a life.

The whereabouts of the bosses were all given through riddles; the first riddle being revealed to all the players a week into being trapped in the game. After that, Jinyoung had announced that the next riddle would only appear to whoever defeated the boss, at the end of the fight. The riddle that appeared to you was:

I never thought you’d get this far

But the final clue for you is STAR.

Your progress has disrupted my game

Let’s see if you can fulfil my aim.

The five of you had been wracking your brains for the answer to this, nothing worthwhile coming out of it. You had checked out observatories, staking out overnight in case the boss would only appear at night. You had travelled far and wide, but all your leads led to dead ends.

The five of you had just returned from sneaking into a place called STAR labs. Although you had already checked this place out, this was your first time going at night, altogether, although nothing fruitful happened aside from Felix falling asleep and knocking a glass down, tripping the silent alarm. You all made a hasty getaway from security, barely managing to lose them since the streets were so empty. You abandoned the car you had driven in, running back to your house in the shadows, not leaving a trace of you guys behind.

“Another failure,” Jisung mumbled, faceplanting onto the sofa.

“You’re a failure,” Felix grumbled after him, falling right on top of him.

“Another day, another beautiful car gone,” Hyunjin joked, lighting up the mood.

Seungmin made his way over to the fridge just as Hyunjin pulled Jisung and Felix into upright positions. You sat on the second sofa, easily catching the water bottle Seungmin threw to you.

Seungmin sat beside you, leaning his head on your shoulder, huffing out as he shut his eyes. The other boys broke out of their misery to turn to you, eyes winking non-stop and hands fanning their faces to mock you.

“Y/n, are you perhaps…” Felix started, a teasing smirk on his face, “blushing?”

“Of course not,” you whispered harshly, flicking the bottle’s cap at him. He dodged it easily, raising his eyebrows suggestively at you. You rolled your eyes at him, vision landing on Jisung who had cupped his hands into a heart with you and Seungmin in the middle.

“Stop it!” you said, quickly looking at Seungmin, as you kept your voice down to not wake him up.

“Why?” Now it was Hyunjin’s turn to fool around, “We all know you,” and then he made a heart with his hand, “him.”

Even though they weren’t wrong, you couldn’t help but tell them to stop, fearing Seungmin might wake up. During the long time you had spent stuck in this game, you had gotten considerably closer to the boy. You couldn’t help but appreciate everything he had done for you four, always thinking back to the first day you arrived – he could have easily left you there to fend for yourselves, but he helped you out and even let you stay with him in your current home. You had all gotten much closer now, literally trusting one another with your lives, and you couldn’t be any happier with the four boys you call your best friends.

What surprised you the most was how Hyunjin, Jisung and Felix had managed to figure out your (small) crush on Seungmin; you knew they liked teasing you about liking him, but you never thought much of it until one day when Hyunjin and Felix pushed Jisung towards you – he dragged you off to another room and tried getting you to speak about Seungmin, but, of course, you tried brushing everything off, feigning ignorance. He hadn’t believed in your, “oh, it’s nothing, we’re just friends,” comments, but he had decided not to pester any longer. You wondered if Seungmin knew too, then, if you were this obvious – just thinking about him possibly returning your feelings made your mind go crazy.

“Where else do we have to explore?” you asked, changing the subject before taking a large gulp of your water.

Hyunjin looked over the large paper spread over the table, crossing out ‘Star Labs, night’. “Nowhere else, the labs were the last place.”

“Ugh, guys, there are more rats,” Felix groaned, leaning his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder.

“Where?” Seungmin asked, suddenly awake. All of you turned to him, wide-eyed; had he been awake this whole time? Had he heard your conversation?

Felix pointed to the arcade games and Seungmin went there, sword in hand, looking for the creatures.

“Hyunjin and I went around sealing all the holes just yesterday,” Jisung whined, “How the hell do they get through so quickly?”

The rats had only been adding to your stress over the final boss fight. You took a closer look at where Seungmin had scribbled down the riddle.

“We disrupted his game…” you mumbled, biting your lip as you thought of what that meant.

“These stupid rats are disrupting my sleep!” Felix complained, hearing the clatter of Seungmin’s sword against the ground.

“Felix, that’s it!” you exclaimed, finally understanding the riddle. “The rats only came after we got the riddle, right?”

“Yeah, but they only come out… at night; shit, you’re a genius!” Hyunjin gasped.

You continued, “Exactly, they only come out when the stars are out, we were right about something happening at night. But that’s not all: star is an anagram for rats. There’s got to be a connection with the rats and the final boss.”

“Do we need to follow them or something?” Jisung asked, now interested, “Maybe where they come from is where the final fight is.”

“Uh, guys…” Seungmin called, and you all turned to look over at him. The rat he was going after was stationary in front of a game machine, his sword falling straight through it, yet it wasn’t disappearing in a cloud of pixels like it previously had. Instead, it looked like it was staring straight at you.

“I don’t think we have to go to the fight…” Hyunjin started.

“It’s already come to us.”

The five of you quickly escaped, just as more rats started pouring out of hidden crevices in the room. Jisung was the last to climb out, pulling the lid to the sewer over the hole.

“Wait, those rats have been there for so long,” Felix spoke, “how come they’re only coming out now?”

You and Hyunjin shrugged your shoulders, looking to Jisung who was just as clueless.

“Maybe he was waiting for us to figure it out,” Seungmin suggested. Just as he had said that, the small holes in the lid let through a sharp, bright white light with a blue glow. It travelled as far up as your eyes could see, alerting anyone who was still awake.

“What the hell is that?” Felix said, voice dripping in awe, as your heads all looked upwards at the never-ending light.

A massive crash sounding from your headquarters snapped you all out of your reveries. You all equipped yourselves with weapons, preparing for an attack.

You were right.

The fight had come to you but this was unlike the last two boss levels you had finished; it was like Armageddon and an apocalypse horrifically rolled into one. The cacophony had awakened hundreds of other players, so you weren’t fighting alone. Even then, the monsters that had crawled and broke through the ground were annihilating you all. You had deviated from the entrance to your hideout, the largest and strongest creature hot on your tail.

You couldn’t even make out its feature properly, not due to it being dark outside, but because it barely had features. All you could make out was a massive figure with black, ice-like shards covering its entire body and burning red eyes. That was all. Even its hands that you had seen shoot purple fireballs were made of shards.

Your bullets barely made a mark on it, scratching the surface before flying off. Yet Felix continued to waste his ammo, firing shot after shot as he ran forward; Hyunjin was also shooting arrows that you had enchanted to slow it down, but they were all crushed beneath its claws, disappearing in a cloud of pixels.

A dead-end.

You had done all that running, fighting, saving, to come face to face with a dead-end. You were so sure that this wall wasn’t here, you’d been through this place countless times and yet the bricks lain in front of you begged to differ. Your mind was clogged with so many different things, spells, maps, people, and yet it couldn’t focus on anything, thoughts jumbling into a giant mess screaming at you to do something, to do more. But what more could you do?

You didn’t know how long you had been fighting for. The whole game had changed ever since the chaos ensued: the sky was devoid of all stars and the moon, the streetlights only flickered a ghastly pale blue light and the roads had all changed, houses appearing where there should have been empty spaces, walls built where there once was a street.

“Shit, what do we do now?” Felix panted, bruised hands barely clinging onto his gun as he leaned back against the wall.

“Hell, if I know,” Hyunjin gasped, yelling in pain as you helped him sit down. There was a shard sticking out of his calf, and you used your dagger to cut his trousers so you could help him.

“Felix, shine a light, quickly,” you instructed, crouching in front of Hyunjin who threw his head back, jaw tensing as he bit back cries. Felix opened his Viewer, the screen shining a blue light onto Hyunjin’s leg. There were purple lines slithering out of the shard, beneath his skin, slowly spreading in every direction and you just knew that wasn’t good. You looked at his face, smeared with blood and bruises, tears brimming his eyes in defeat.

You steeled yourself, pulling out water from your inventory for him to drink and ease his nerves before you started. You used every spell you could, numbing his leg before you pulled the shard out, swiftly cleaning the wound before you healed it. The purple lines continued crawling upwards but his health started decreasing at a slower rate, possibly buying you time to do more. You and Felix quickly ate something too, before you heard more crashes, and then footsteps running near you.

Jisung and Seungmin had bought you guys time, diverting the monster’s attention from you three when Hyunjin got hit. When they got to you, Seungmin banged his fists on the wall, “This was never here, what the hell?”

“Are you okay?” Jisung asked Hyunjin, keeping an eye out for the beast.

Hyunjin managed a feint nod in reply, blinking away his tears.

You made sure Seungmin and Jisung ate something, their health bars dropping to 30. With the energy the food gave you, you healed their injuries, hands shaking as they glowed a pure white, clearing their skins of the battle scars.

“We’re fine now, y/n, thanks,” Seungmin murmured, holding your hand in his to stop you from healing him, “boost your own energy up, yeah?”

He handed you an energy sweet he had which you took graciously; you looked up at him, face littered with cuts and dried blood, eyes still shining hopefully, and you wondered how he didn’t feel defeated yet. His hand glowing caught your attention and you broke eye contact, staring at his hand that moved to your face and, as he swiped his thumb over your cheek, you felt a strange sensation on your face where a stinging cut once was. You lifted a finger to your cheek, feeling around for the cut, but were met with just your skin, nothing torn or bleeding.

“When did you learn that?” you asked, a small smile on your face when he kept his thumb there, running circles over your cheek.

“I pay more attention to you than you think,” he joked, pinching your cheek ever so slightly before dropping his hand once again.

Before you could continue you heard heavy thuds getting closer. You felt him grab your hand, squeezing your hand tightly to say ‘Be careful’, before he moved in front of you, now standing besides Jisung who had equipped himself with half of a massive shield, larger in height than the two boys combined. Seungmin equipped himself with the other half, and you stood next to Felix and Hyunjin, knowing what the boys were doing. They had timed it perfectly: the creature had sprinted at them, swinging his fist back before landing a solid punch, clashing with the two shields Jisung and Seungmin had fused together. It was a shield made of the strongest metal, by the finest blacksmith in the game, and you had added further enchantments to strengthen it.

You could see both boys skid back slightly, them leaning their whole bodies into the shield to hold it together more strongly to protect you three. Their eyes were scrunched together as they pushed back with all their might, taking on the second punch that was landed without a second to breathe. A third punch had them moving back even further and the fourth had the shield splitting into two once more. They both flew back, crumpling against the wall, shields clanging miserably against the ground.

You stood in front, lifting your hands to form a magical shield just as the creature delivered another blow; you could hear your shield wilt under the power, see more and more cracks dig their way into the surface, but you pushed back with all your might, hopefully buying the boys some time. The shield fell to pieces once the claws retracted and you used this as an opportunity to send some more magical attacks to it. You sent out purple laser beams that were supposed to be able to cut through anything, yet they only managed to break some shards that were headed your way. You saw bullets flying too, Felix standing beside you, guns at the ready. You followed by sending out explosive black orbs to its legs, but only the ground blew up, dust flying everywhere.

You couldn’t see it.

Not until it had soared past you, too late for another shield, too late to even scream out his name.

It was like you could hear the slicing sound it made as it tore him. Your vision only focussing on how he screamed in pain, hands rushing to where he was hit as though he could do something.

The beast disappeared after that. Gone, like the wind, a message appearing in front of you instead.

Better luck next time!

You could barely make out the letters, rushing to him and dropping to the ground. Your mouth couldn’t form any words, hands doing all the talking as they lit up, a futile attempt to save him.

“You’ll be fine,” you repeated like a mantra, but no matter how many times you said it, you all knew it was nothing but empty words.

“C’mon, bro, hang in there,” Hyunjin mumbled, crawling over and cradling his head in his palms.

Jisung crouched besides you, holding his hand tightly, whispering more words of encouragement so he stayed awake.

Felix sat next to Hyunjin, holding his other hand, eyes wide and screaming for help, mouth quivering in silent pleas.

Nothing was working; no spells were making the blood stop dripping down, no charms were stopping his health bar from diminishing.

15.

You watched as his eyes slowly shut, chest rising and falling with each painful breath.

Hyunjin was rushing through his words, saying he would never forget him – couldn’t ever forget him. Tears streaming down his face, Felix cried about how he was forever thankful, ever since that first day you all met him. Jisung was barely holding on, whimpering about how he looked up to him, admired him for being so courageous and helping you all out, never asking for anything in return.

7.

What did you have left to say?

The tears trickling down your face blurred your vision and you swiped at them furiously. “Fuck, Seungmin, that should’ve been me,” you sniffed.

Just saying his name hurt – this all seemed like a dream, a nightmare, a game. Yet nothing had felt more real. His nose scrunching was his way of disagreeing with you, yet that thought was all that plagued your mind. You should have been quicker, more alert, more careful.

5.

He used his last burst of energy to hold your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles before he pressed a soft kiss to it, the feel of his lips against your hand soothing you ever so slightly. He dropped your hand on his chest, barely lifting his other arm to click on his Viewer. You all looked at his screen, wondering what he was doing as he scrolled.

DRAFTED MESSAGES (1)

3.

He hit send.

2.

He was…

1.

Gone.

Hey, y/n, if you’re reading this then I’ve somehow gotten the courage to be the man I’m pretending to be in this game. So, either I’ve sent this just before we get to leave the game, or just before I, alone, leave the game. Hopefully the former. :)

I like you.

It’s a lot easier typing this message out, especially since I know you probably won’t ever see it (let’s face it, we both know I’m not the strong man inside that this character makes me out to be). With any luck, I’ll get the courage to say this to your face, but until then, I hope this will do. I like you a lot. It sounds really nice saying that, especially to you of all people, because you’re amazing.

We may have met in a game, but I hope we can continue to be great friends in school (if not more) because I’d hate to lose someone like you, and we make a great tag-team against those other losers. I had a great time getting to know you and, although we’re stuck in a game, I’m glad I got the chance to meet someone as great as you because you’ve changed me, a lot. I hope I live up to your expectations outside of the game too.

I feel like I rambled a lot, and this is probably very cheesy (please don’t show the other guys this, I would DIE), but I hope this doesn’t change anything between us.

Third time’s the charm, so here I go:

I really like you, y/n.

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#200-191)

#200: Alice Babs -- Lilla stjärna (Sweden 1958)

“Lilla stjärna i det höga, svara mig, svara mig, Kommer han som jag ska få så kär?”

“Little star up above, answer me, answer me, Is he coming, the man that I will love?”

And so we begin the top 200 with an innocent and sweet number, and which resembles the best of 1950s Eurovision. I'm not a fan of the decade, because most of the songs are a bit too old-fashioned for my taste (especially since we have the beginnings of rock-n-roll outside the contest), but Lilla stjarna is one of the better soundtrack-like songs.

Before Sweden became the superpower in Eurovision we all know and love (or love to hate), they debuted with this dainty, beautiful song that was selected internally. There's a sense of longing in the lyrics, with the narrator hoping that their loved one would return. It’s definitely a fairytale, with that classical instrumentation and Alice’s innocent voice.

Personal ranking: 2nd/10 Actual ranking: 4th/10 in Hilversum

#199: Domenico Modugno -- Nel Blu Dipinto di Blu (Italy 1958)

“Penso che un sogno così non ritorni mai più Mi dipingevo le mani e la faccia di blu Poi d’improvviso venivo dal vento rapito E incominciavo a volare nel cielo infinito”

“I think such a dream will never come back I painted my hands and my face blue Then suddenly I was ravished by the wind And I started flying in the infinite sky”

The original classic from Eurovision, and the biggest hit of them all. It topped the Billboard charts in 1959, won two Grammys in the first-ever ceremony in 1959 (and still the only Italian-language song to do so), and is covered and over again to this day.

Considering the lack of attention most of the songs got in the first two contests, it's possible without Nel blu dipinto di blu's commercial success, we wouldn't have a Eurovision Song Contest to speak of. Or it would've been done for by 1960, haha.

Sometimes, I forget about this song when thinking about favorites, but when I listen to the intro, it starts bringing you into its little world, where I’m actually flying! The lyrics are quite cool and imaginative, adding to that feeling.

And of course, that "Volare..." is enough to keep people singing along!

Personal ranking: 1st/10 Actual ranking: 3rd/10 in Hilversum #Italywasrobbed

#198: Korni -- Moja Generacjia (Yugoslavia 1974)

“Mene majka moja rodi da sanjam o slobodi, U prvoj noći da čujem zveket, Da plačem sa rukom na usnama,”

“My mother gave me life to dream of freedom, The first night to hear gun sounds To cry with my hand on my lips”

World War II in Yugoslavia is not something I've learned about in depth. What I do know is that the Axis powers were able to take the whole country, and two major groups arose to collaborate with them. The Ustashas (Croatian nationalists) and Chetniks (Serbian nationalists) also both sought to destroy the other ethnic group and there was a bit of a mess all around.

(If you have any more information on this topic, let me know as I do want to learn)

Moja Generacija is a harrowing but powerful progressive rock song about those born during the Second World War, and their lives as a whole. I like the dark soundscape along with the instruments that accompanied it too. The orchestration at the chorus is especially noteworthy, because of the sweeping strings and the brass which highlight the times as a whole.

(And apparently, there's a seven-minute English-language cut, which makes it even more of a progressive rock song.)

Personal ranking: 3rd/17 Actual ranking: 12th/17 in Brighton

#197: Shiri Maimon -- HaSheket Shenishar (Israel 2005)

המבט אחר והקור חודר אתה מסתתר, את גופי שובר

“The glance is different and the cold is piercing You’re hiding, breaking my body”

Israel in the 2000s wasn't the best song-wise. I can only think of two songs that were really good in that period--of which this was one of them, which held Israel's best placing this century until Toy won three years ago. And it couldn't be anymore different from the song Israel would eventually win with.

Initially, I didn't get it, as it felt a bit derivative. Even now, it has offgrown me a bit because of pop ballad structure. But what I really liked was the smooth transition between Hebrew and English, along with how well Shiri sings it. She has a really sweet tone to her voice, which really helps in conveying the sorrow of being in love with a cheating partner and having to let go of it for her own happiness.

And that dress--it has to be one of my favorite performance outfits of all time!

Personal ranking: 4th/39 Actual ranking: 4th/24 GF in Kyiv

#196: Inga and Anush -- Jan Jan (Armenia 2009)

“Can't ya see, we aren't free?, Fixed like a tree to the holy ground, With my sound, gotta be always around, I wanna dance, don't ya stand, sister give your hand,”

"Sister, here we go!"

For a dance song, it's actually quite sedate--there isn't many moments of true boppiness, but there was something more "psychadelic" about the production and how it was put together. Either way, it works well all the same.

The sisters do a good job singing together, and I like the mix of ethno and dance music. Plus, their costumes are absolutely expensive and glamourous--I would like to wear them if I ever got the chance.

Also, for some reason, Azeris like to spam the comments on this song and claim that the Armenians "stole" their traditional clothing and music. Considering the two countries' proximity, I'm not so shocked about their similarities, but if Azeris would like to share a bit more of their ethnic music, it's always welcome!

Personal ranking: 8th/42 Actual ranking: 10th/25 GF in Moscow

#195: Sabina Babayeva -- When the Music Dies (Azerbaijan 2012)

“You, you are the best of me The reason that I believe, so don't leave me now...”

(Yes, Azerbaijan can send ethnic-influenced music. Hehe.)

Azerbaijan’s host entry when they brought the contest to Baku is a bit of a standard ballad, but with an ethnic twist. The use of balaban really highlights the melancholy of the song, and the mughum vocals pierces one's soul when performed.

I could feel how Sabina sings every word, pleading with her lover to stay with her despite it all. And that doesn’t begin to add with the beautiful LED dress, adding to the drama of the song as we see it in white, but it gets overlaid with sparks, shades of turquoise, and its final form with reds and oranges. That was a particularly beautiful moment.

A lot of fans believe this was the song that should've won it for Azerbaijan, and I can't disagree! This is a gem indeed.

Personal ranking: 6th/42 (a bit awkward here because I left out my runner-up of 2012 in this ranking, so amongst the songs here it's 5th/42) Actual ranking: 4th/26 GF in Baku

#194: Milestones -- Falter im Wind (Austria 1972)

“Tanz um die Lichter, Schmetterling, Deine Farben flammen auf, Tot ist die Nacht, in deinem Tanz, Ist das Leben hell wie Tag”,

“Dance around the lights, butterfly Your colours flame up The night is dead, in your dance Life is bright like the day”

My first forays on pre-1990s Eurovision was with the British blog, Lovelovepeacepeace. She would recap every year between 1968 and 2000, and 1972 was one of the years I went through the songs because of her. Coincidentally, I got to like Falter im Wind as much as she does.

It definitely fits with the hippy era, in terms of folk music and the general aesthetic. There's even a prominent (weird little) flute motif throughout. The lyrics talk about the life or a butterfly and how it shouldn't go to far into the sun. A bit strange, considering what most other songs are about, but it's a nice and gentle sentiment (with a message not unlike that of "Waterfalls", how strange).

Austria is not usually known for their highlights, but this is definitely one of their best (and a personal favorite of mine). Feel free to go an a road-trip playing this (though not with the studio cut--that's a bit slower)!

Personal ranking: 1st/18 Actual ranking: 5th/18 in Edinburgh

#193: Roger Bens -- Femme dans ses rêves aussi (France 1985)

“Mélodie, mélodrame, sourire et puis larmes Amoureuse ou sans âme, elle est d’abord femme...”

“Melody, melodrama, smile and then tears In love or without soul, first of all she’s woman”

ESC 1985 is notable not only because of a certain ripped-skirt incident, but also because they have a live album with the first eleven songs of the contest. Among these is the French entry, which has one of the best orchestrations of all-time, thanks to Michel Bernholc's arrangemnt.

(And because of that, it is my most-listened to song on Spotify)

The violins primarily make this song what it is—there are synths in the studio track, but don’t pack the same punch. The bass really provides some depth, and the brass at the bridge really sells the whole thing home.

The sense of drama in the song also includes the lyrics about being a woman and embracing her in all the ways. Despite the occasional eyebrow-raising and lip licking, Roger sings this with gusto.

To add to this, where is Roger Bens? This was the last known sighting of him and he is presumed to be dead.

Personal ranking: 3rd/19 Actual ranking: 10th/19 in Gothenburg

#192: Nina Zilli -- L'Amore È Femmina (Out Of Love) (Italy 2012)

“If you were my king, would I be your queen?, Stop breaking up my heart, you kill me – boom boom boom”

No, she's not Amy Winehouse resurrected for one night, but Nina Zilli! She also competed in Sanremo that year, and Emma (see #223) won it with the harsh but determined "Non è l'inferno".

Beyond the retro music and Nina's bouffant on the night, I didn't notice any similarities to Amy Winehouse. This doesn't mean "L'amore e femmina" have its own charms--it falls into the jazz theme that "Madness of Love" (#232) continues, but is the opposite in more than one way.

The English-Italian mix is a but clunky at times, especially in the choruses but it doesn’t take away from the attitude this song brings. I love the jazzy vibes and how Nina sings it with a sense of sassiness and charm. Her backing vocalists really help with conveying the mood, and don't do a bad job when the song goes back to Italian!

(As for the two Sanremo songs in question, I prefer Non è l'inferno to Per Sempre--the former is quite determined, and I really like the lyrics. Though I think the latter would have more appeal in terms of themes, even it's a bit more derivative musically)

Personal ranking: 5th/42 Actual ranking: 9th/26 GF in Baku

#191: Hovi Star -- Made of Stars (Israel 2016)

“Dance with me like we are made of stars...”

This is one of the first songs which got me into Eurovision. I would put this on repeat over and over again, because it's just so beautiful. (Or it was because it's Israeli, haha. Another country bias of mine will appear later.)

The first version of Made of Stars was a trashy and dull dance song, but the rework into a ballad makes it more magical. It’s serene yet touching, with a calming piano motif and a dramatic crescendo at the end.

The staging of Made of Stars also helps; while I'm still put off by the LED face when the backing vocalists sing "you hypontize me", everything else just works. The otherwise starry LEDs, the hoop dancers, and Hovi's glowing presence make this into a sweet, albeit overlooked package.

Personal ranking: 6th/42 Actual ranking: 14th/26 GF in Stockholm

[pyaasa]

@yaspookybitch

Actually - and i mean this in the nicest possible way - I don’t have to explain anything to you. When POC talk about racism, they shouldn’t have to spoon feed it to white people. Lmao the audacity, the absolute caucasity, of u saying I have a “responsibility” to back up my statements (or other people’s statements) with research and then spoon feed it to you I’m absolutely crying. In order to swerve responsibility of being in a RACIST country, you’re trying to put the responsibility on /me/ to educate you im hahdjejkdjwj

Even tho I’m actually really angry at the NERVE of someone saying “I don’t believe a person or colour’s statement on racism” I’m going to explain something that your white privileged brain is incapable of grasping

- If there’s no media coverage of something, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. ESPECIALLY when we’re taking about a country which has spent the past several years trying to paint itself as a progressive and tolerant nation, and trying to gloss over its history of racism and colonialism, ON the issue of racism. You are seriously - and I mean this in the nicest possible way - stupid, not to mention incredibly ignorant and blinded by your privilege, if you think media coverage of an event is the only way to prove something happened, especially when it comes to racial matters.

POC the WHOLE WORLD over are well aware that their crimes will receive media spotlight but the injustices done to them and the discrimination they face will never ever receive media attention. In fact when there were far right protests happening in Glasgow I literally would not have known had I not seen pictures on twitter. I couldn’t find a single article on it

Did you really think you were making a point when you said “source???” Lmao

- I have said to you time and time again to look at the twitter acc of the person I screenshotted. He has been talking about this extensively. Apparently that’s too hard for you to do??? You’re refusing to go on twitter and looking at his page and send your questions to him - are you for real??? Is there something wrong with you???? Instead of doing self-reflection on the issue of racism in Scotland, instead of examining your privilege and behaviour, instead of feeling disgust that there have been far-right protests in Scotland, instead of trying to do something about it, your knee-jerk reaction is to deny it even happened. Do I need to explain to you that um,,, that’s a little racist??

- Also like, sweetie. I hate to break it to you but Scotland is a deeply racist country. I am a woman of colour, someone who is visibly Muslim, and I can tell you from my experiences (which I HOPE you are not going to ask me to source). Last time in was in Scotland I was terrified, like I legit thought I was going to be murdered. It is far more scary to me, a woc, than any place in England I have ever been to. The fact that Scotland has had week long far-right protests is not remotely surprising to me. You do not realise how incredibly ignorant you look by asking me to provide sources, or how....well how you’re giving off really racist vibes by trying to deny it

I’ve given you a far longer explanation than you deserved, and I’m actually regretting it already cos you couldn’t even be bothered to spend 2 minutes checking the twitter account I repeatedly told you to check. But whatever

This is a microcosm into how white Scots treats the issue of racism. It’s quite sickening actually. Denying racism means denying POC need better rights and protection, and in that respect, Scotland is waaaay behind England, because at least in England, poc have a platform to talk about this stuff without being stifled and ignored the way they are in Scotland. Your whole attitude here is symbolic of a much deeper problem.

You and your fake allyship can get off my post now

👀

[dreamerology]

my biggest i love monsta x ever!!!!

no offence but if u had told me a year ago that these seven boys would have had this much of an impact on my life and not only that but i still love them as much now as i did on day one (maybe even more) i’d say u were lying. usually my interests come and go in phases and nothing has ever lasted as long as mx???? but i rly truly cannot imagine my life without them at this point. in fact, the 2-3 months at the very beginning of uni where i stopped having time for them and thought i was moving on were the worst of this year (ofc that wasn’t the only reason those months were hard, but feeling like i was falling out of love w mx hurt more than id care to admit). they’ve brought me so much happiness and connected me with so many amazing people and not 2 be cheesy but made me into a better person! like they just continue to have the biggest positive influence in my life and i got the opportunity to meet one of my best friends bc of them, i’ll forever be thankful for them

i know i havent been w mx since the beginnign but!!!! even just seeing shownu grow so much this year has made me sooooo happie!!!!!! i Love how u can just see he’s more comfortable now and seems a lot more at ease……..the fact that hes comfortable enough to host his own solo vlives and no offence but theres not a single thing i dont love abt that man! hes so fucking funny….like its sorta weird humor?? dad humor almost? BUT HES HONESTLY FUNNY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING hes just reached a point where he’s got no filter and will just say whatever and sometimes even the wording will make me laugh dkjfhkjsd the true underrated comedian of the group tbh. hes so selfless too bicht………….i still cant believe he split the money from his solo event w the other members My Heart :-((((((( and when hes on a solo schedule he’s always mentioning the others!!! nd doesnt let anyone forget abt them, they rly are one big family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO HIS SMILE is the cutest shit ive ever seen!!!!! like when he smiles rlllly big nd his eyes crinkle nd he :D and his big “ha ha ha” ,,,,music 2 my ears!!!!!!!! i wish he could be that happy forever. hes the biggest softest teddy bear i just wanna give him a giant hug???

fun fact wonho was the first member i knew abt nd was able to recognize nd such!! my friend who helped me get into mx talked abt him a lot so i grew to love him before i even knew the others!!! actually hes probably still the one i know the most abt bc of her? anyways! angels exist and wonho is living proof of that! his love for mbbs is on a whole other plane of existance???? ive never felt this loved nd appreciated as a fan before nd its all genuine!!!!!. wonho is a monbebebebe first and a monsta second. hes just so full of love….im convinced thats why hes so Large he needs to fit his heart in his body somehow...hes just got so much love to give!!!!!!! he is the most thoughtful and caring person??? like not even towards monbebes and his memebrs but like at the end of mxray when he made sure to buy all the staff and crew little gifts as well, my heart grew 3 sizes for him!!!!!! and im so soo soooooooooooooosososooo proud of him to have some of his songs on the albums this year and not only that but! from zero getting a stage on tv!!!!!! his song!!!! he did that!!!!!! his hard work paid off….i hope he continues to be able to produce more music this year! oh one last thing, i love how? childish he is??? idk if thats the right word but hes always teasing or changing or playing around w the other members and hes always being goofy and laughing and it just makes my heart!!!!! rly happy nd warm

what is there left 2 be said abt minhyuk that i havent already said yet jdfshkjdhf i just! Love Everything abt that boy :-((((((( i love his sunshiney positive personality that never fails to cheer me up, i love how caring he is and how he always makes sure to be there for his members and makes himself open for them, i love his uneven blink, i love how soft his voice is and how it sounds exactly how sunshine looks, i love his fingers go sorta crooked when he makes a peace sign, i love his laugh and how silly he is, i love his thoughtful and serious side, i love how smart he is, i love his toothy smile, i love when hes on stage and he looks so radiant and glowing and u can see how happy he is and how he was truly built to shine, i love his ears, i love how affectionate and loving he is, i love his one (1) dimple, i love how sometimes he just says the weirdest shit…...like i rly wanna understand what hes thinking sometimes, i love how cute he looks wearing hats or how soft he looks in giant sweaters, i love him sooooooo much my heart hurts

can u believe i didn’t used to love kihyun this much? past me was a whole fool! i’ll try to keep this one sorta short too since i’ve already written a love essay for him but! once again i rly do love him w my whole heart!!!!!! absolutely Everything he does is so endearing and i loooove how he cares so much….he rly went and made us our own season's greeting for free nd his photography is rly No Joke! hes so talented nd u can rly see how passionate he is abt it!!!!! it makes me so so happy seeing him talk abt it, like he just lights up its the best thing ive ever seen. i Love his smile!!!! when his face scrunches up and u can see the little dimples on his cheeks and see all his teeth and he laughs and throws his head back or hits whoever’s closest to him or just collapses thats Good Shit!!!!!!!! im so glad he’s happy enough to be able to smile like that!!!!!!! it makes my heart tingle thinking abt him being happy. he rly is the cutest, i love him nd all his beauty marks :D !! nd no offense but hes never had a bad hair colour/style nd thats the tea on that!

chae hyungwon 2018’s lord nd saviour????????? anyways its about Damn Time i write him a love essay :-((((( having both best friends being hyungwon biased ive secretly been converted 2 a whole chaebebe….their love rubbed off on me!!! i love it :D idk where to start...gosh hes seriously so hardworking????? im soooooo so soo so proud of him!!! icb he picked up djing as a hobby nd then made it to a big festival, is on mix and the city and has released not one but two (2) songs only months later!!!!!!!!! we love a talented man!!!!!!! nd his dancing bichksjdfhsdj hes so fluid nd smooth when he dances…...i always find myself watching him first in group practices like there something rly captivating abt him?? please let him show us more of his dancing its So Good. also hes got the nicest voice…...its so deep wtf...but like its So Calming 2 listen to? especially when hes sleepy nd its extra raspy? Good Shit! and when he sings!!!!!!!! bicshjkdfhksdhj hes got one of my fave vocal voices i rly wish he got the lines he deserves :((( hes! So! Cute! jfhsdjfhs he gets embarrassed so easily and always makes the goofiest faces but i love it….he covers his smile sometimes too :-((( i wish he wouldnt its So Bright nd cute nd warm just like he is!!!! hyungwon’s smile is the 8th wonder of the world thats just the facts folks!

mister jooheon……….the true example of the duality of man. i dont understand how he can go from his scaredy cat self to and Actual God,,,blows my mind. i’m pretty sure i’ve said this at least a hundred times but his stage presence is truly Unreal……..its on a whole other level…….ive never seen them live but if i ever do i fear for my life. nd i know once it’s over im only gonna know one (1) man and that man is lee jooheon. but at the same time hes rly The Cutest id trust him w my life???? his eyes are so warm!!!!!! And his Big Smile!!!!!!!!!!! his dimples? deeper than the marianas trench, i wanna build my home in them nd raise my family there. hes such a talented dude!!!! mx don’t have a single bad song thenks jooheon! also for the first couple months i’d alway forget he was one of the youngest? like hes very mature too nd seems very responsible djfhkjsdhfjsd idk how he was the only one 2 be able to keep it together during their first win 2 give the speech…..hes so strong. i love him so much :-( hes so cute nd gentle nd thoughtful...truly the biggest angel who deserves the world!!!!!!!!!!

i think if there's any member i would actually get along best w it would b changkyun. we’re both rly similar from what i can tell...like sorta quiet, but loud around those we’re comfortable with!!! first off hes so funny nd…..weird but like in a good way sdjfhksdjhf sometimes i rly just think he says the first thing that comes to his mind “actually we have a baby” ????? who let him \…..he always makes me laugh reading his fansign notes too omg that being said hes also one of the most serious members at times i feel like. hes just got this rly mature vibe nd he handles things rly well??? idk if that makes sense but Yeah. he’s just someone who’s not rly afraid 2 be themselves, i wish that were me??? ive got so much to learn from them. also icb he literally invented being cute???? he doesn't even have 2 try hes just adorable!!!!!! like his laugh nd smile? The Best!!!!! and when u can see his lil dimples yeahhhhh hes sooo super sweet and cheesy. i looooove how close hes gotten w the other members despite their rough start, they rly are a family nd im glad hes comfortable around them it rly warms my heart!!!!! whenever hes getting showered in love my heart !!!!!!! its what he deserves!

on that note, the one thing i think that has stayed with me more than anything is that one fansign note where ck was asked how he wants to be remembered in the future, when they only occasionally thought abt him and his answer was “that i gave you happiness” and not 2 b a sentimental shit but fuck! i cry every time i think abt that!!!!!!! bc i Know there’s gonna come a day where i don’t think abt them at all! there’s gonna be a day where i won’t think abt them until i see something that jogs my memory and jolts me back to this time and even tho this year has been rough i know i always will remember how much happiness they’ve brought me. i’ll remember how they were able to cheer me up when nothing else worked. i hope one day i’ll be able to feel the Pure Joy i felt when they got their first win….i’ve never felt anything like that before. i cant wait to be able to look back in nostalgia at all the happiness they’ve brought me.

anyways that got real sappy towards the end i gotta blast now bye!

[smallsushi]

♡ get to know me stuff♡??

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

- my boyfriend

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

- outgoing

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

- uhh no one

4. Are you easy to get along with?

- yes i think so

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

- my boyfriend

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

- hopeless romantics, smarties, good at math types. geeks, gamers. kind of goofy.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

- i am in one not a very good one.. so maybe not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

- no one

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

- no unless it’s a dude

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

- Leon

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

- “come watch stream” by my boyfriend

12. What are your 5 favourite songs right now?

- i’m really into joji rn and brent faiyaz

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

- only if i like them

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

- i want to so i lowkey do

15. What good thing happened this summer?

- i made friends and some especially good ones like Z, L, Ne and D

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

- no

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

- why not? maybe woooo woo

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

- haha no never ever >__<

19. Do you like bubble baths?

- ofcourse

20. Do you like your neighbours?

- idk them

21. What are you bad habits?

- overthinking and vaping! i promise i’ll stop sometime soon~

22. Where would you like to travel?

- paris, i just want to be there some day

23. Do you have trust issues?

- yes i have been wronged by many people i would never hurt

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

- sleeping and dreaming. and ofc day dreaming in the morning. my life.. well isnt that exciting right now.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

- all of it, i’m ugly asf imo

26. What do you do when you wake up?

- lay in bed for a while and think...

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

- honestly... lighter. people always say smth abt my skin tone. my boyfriend likes lighter girls too. would help me feel better.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

- no one like completely..

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

- no i’m sure he hates me for dumping him

30. Do you ever want to get married?

- my instant thought is no, but i know if i am truly happy i would want that.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

- yes

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

- to me thinking abt celebs like that is weird they are like real life humans. and i haven’t found anyone incredibly sexually attractive to share fluids with thanks.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

- kjzw bro my name has 5 letters

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

- i was in basketball and gymnastics for 2 years

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

- tv

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

- yes, because i was too young.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

- something that makes the situation worse.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

- is it weird that my dream guy is straight out of a novel series? the guy who buys flowers, sends hand written letters, makes playlists, surprises me, has my picture in his wallet, isn’t afraid to be madly obsessed with me ok ok i’ll get out of my head now.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

- i dont have favourites but i love sephora

40. What do you want to do after high school?

- bro i want to die i’m 22

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

- umm sometimes. we are all human.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

- i’m hurt

43. Do you smile at strangers?

- sometimes if they smile at me

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

- no

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

- at this point.. i want to go to paris. i want to see paris before i die. i’m extremely suicidal but thinking about not seeing paris before i die kind of gives me hope UwU

46. What are you paranoid about?

- being lied to, or made a complete fool of.

47. Have you ever been high?

- yes

48. Have you ever been drunk?

- yes

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

- yes

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

- grey

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

- all the time

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

- i wish i could be prettier... maybe then i wouldn’t get treated like shit.

53. Favourite makeup brand?

- too faced.. always ♡

54. Favourite colour?

- pink and purple... i like pastels..

55. Favourite food?

- good ol spaghetti and meatballs with heaps of parmesan

56. Last thing you ate?

- lol coffee, i havent ate in two dayss depression gang :3

57. First thing you ate this morning?

- coffee

58. Ever been in love?

- yes

59. How many pillows do you sleep with?

- 4

60. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

- i wish i could but i dont have any stuffies atm

61. Favourite animal?

-cats

62. Favourite tv show?

umm black mirror, mr robot, bbt, you etc

63. Favourite movie?

- requiem for a dream, mr nobody, anything that blows my mind tbh

64. First person you talked to today?

- my boyfriend

65 Last person you talked to today?

- my boyfriend

66. Name a person you hate?

- dont hate anyone

67. Name a person you love?

- ig my boyfriend

68. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

- no

69. Do you regret anything from your past?

- yes

70. Do you miss anyone from your past?

- nope

71. Ever broken someone’s heart?

- yes

72. Have you ever been on a horse?

- yes and it was scary

73. Is something irritating you right now?

- a lot of things but i dont mind

74. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

- no, usually it hurts after they like me back

75. Do you have trust issues?

- lol yes

76. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

- my boyfriend

77. What was your childhood nickname?

- bubblegum was a favourite so ill say that here

78. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

- yes

79. Favourite book?

- 1984 George Orwell a big mind fuck fest

80. Are you afraid of the dark?

- yes, and even more scared when im actually with multiple people like which ones the ghost ah!

81. Are you mean?

- sometimes when im moody or angry

82. Is cheating ever okay?

- nope never

83. Do you believe in love at first sight?

- no its probably just lust

84. Do you believe in true love?

- i do because i love truly

85. Are you currently bored?

- very, life is dull atm

86. What makes you happy?

- sunshine, travelling, people watching, music, cats, anime, gaming, reading, someone loving me truly but hey lets be real~

87. Would you change your name?

- no i actually love my first name

88. What your zodiac sign?

- im a sag

89. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

- one is married, one is too pure to like me and the other one is someone i do kinda have a vibe with, either way i will stay away and tell them its wrong since i have a boyfriend.

91. Favourite lyrics right now?

- "I'm not living, I'm just killing time." - True Love Waits, Radiohead

92. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

- closed

93. How tall are you?

- 5'2

94. Curly or Straight hair?

- curly/wavy

95. What’s your favourite quote?

- "I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are" -Mewtwo

96. Do you believe in ghosts?

- noo

[saxonbettsunit1]

I improved this assignment by focusing more on a minimalist approach, simple but effective,more zoomed in and focused on one thing.to make the viewer focus on the contrast between man made and nature and makes you as the viewer focus directly on the difference between man made vs nature and the meaning/narrative. also i have changed compositionally for example one of my images have frame within a frame

the original didn’t have much composition or meaning/narrative behind the shot compared to this time around.i did this because i didn’t like how it looked as the green was to bright i wanted a abandoned, mold/mossy look.

image one- final; the creative process i followed was kind of a the nature is taking back power from the man made things in everyday life which once took over the nature ruining the natural bright beauty a bit like the image of taken in keelung taiwan at a abandoned building (see previous post) as within that picture the nature (trees) have overgrown the flats and regained control hugely of the abandoned building abit like that image

the planning i did was thinking ahead,thinking of locations which has moss and looks kind of abandoned.i also had to think ahead of how the conditions going to be like eg sunny and washed out colour or high contrast rain.the stylistic decisions i did was close up,cropped high contrast,range of colours; reds,green.blacks,cream.

the post production techniques i used was high contrast and lowering the exposure as this makes the image darker but strong colours so its like it being a dull day with a strong glow of nature.so its like gives nature power as its more vibrant. 

the settings used for this image was ISO 3200, aperture of f/4.5, shutter speed of 1/40, setting manual with lens at 34 mm.the composition of this image is cropped and patterned and symmetry.the narrative of this image is the nature (the moss) is regaining strongly control of the environment from the man made products. hence the high contrast on the moss.the lighting of image is fair even with the editing and the dull conditions i had to take the pictures in.slightly dark to create effect i wanted to create.(dull,high contrast to create a negative vibe but give power the the colour [the plants/moss]) the framing of the picture is slightly off but is okay because its just cropped symmetry.i think it brings realism to the image as its not perfect like the situation.

image two-final; the creative process for this image was inspired by the image take by David Gibbeson and lovell d’souza (images from the previous posts) from the dull kind of one thing to focus on but mine is dark instead of b&w or pale.

i had to think how could i use my inspiration and make it my own to portray what i could of the topic within the time given as i dont have the resources to go to nature parks with the time given.i had to think what lens i would need to use i ended up using a kit lens as i didn't need to zoom in massively.

i shot symmetrically as symmetry is usually aesthetically pleasing and that was man made and the nature ‘ruins’ that symmetry but makes the image more interesting as it brings colour instead of dull red/brown and grey.

the post production i used on this image was high contrast and low exposure i dehazed the image and lowered the saturation to replicate the photographers who inspired me to take the image like this/edit the image like this

the settings used for this image was ISO 3200, aperture of f/4.5, shutter speed of 1/40, setting manual with lens at 35mm.the composition of this image is similar to the image before being symmetric,patterned and cropped however the composition is ruined by the nature growing out between the bricks.the narrative of the image nature is regaining control of the modern landscape of man made material.the lighting in this is pretty dark but isn't dimly lit which gives the nature a glow from contrast.the framing is food as it follows the rule of thirds rule.

image three-final;the creative process i followed for this image was again inspired by both david gibbeson for the simplisticity and lovell d’souza for the dull colour as if its black and white but does have colour. had to have a image how roughly i wanted it to look like to be able to achieve which is visually pleasing.the stylistic decision made was frame within a frame. i made the vibrancy  really low so the only thing which really has colour is the moss which gives the natural moss power and attention.also changed the contrast higher and lowered the exposure to darken the image. to advance my point/view

the settings used was ISO 400,f.number f/4.5, shutter speed 1/40 with camera setting manual with a zoom of 35mm.the composition is frame within a frame which makes the moss glow like its important.the narrative is nature regaining control and it will fight back if you try to remove it with man made materials.the framing was from within a frame.

image four- review;i tried to do frame in a frame but it had shallow depth of field as i didn't change the aperture to high also it was too bright.my sources of inspiration was man vs nature in general mixing it with compositonal technique frame in a frame. i tried this as i thought it would work and look aesthetically pleasing as it  would look like man made is trapping nature/natural however didn't turn out the way i wanted it to turn out.i had to think when capturing this image how it would look and what would look aesthetically appealing to the eye.it didn't get edited as it didn't make my final shots when reviewing them.

the settings on this image was ISO of 400 with aperture of f/4.5 and shutter speed of 1/40 seconds the camera settings in manual  with a lens of 35mm.the framing is at a angle.the narrative behind this image is  man made is trapping nature/natural behind bars.

my images are about man vs nature and how man(made) is taking over but gets abandoned over the years and nature just takes back the land.i communicated that narrative via my images of places in the local area which have regained nature my theme is high contrast low exposure throughout the set of images i believe i was successful in doing so. as i used compositional techniques such as frame within a frame and rule of thirds and symmetry which makes my set of images aesthetically pleasing and enjoyable to the viewer.

im satisfied with my final piece of work as these compared to before as these images have a theme and better constructed compositional techniques unlike my original attempt.i believe i have told a story as they have a theme of man vs nature and how they was edited.

i am satisfied of my work as they tell a story which originally they didn't. i think now the story has a stronger message than before.

i think my weakness within this was framing as some have a ‘dutch tilt’

however i think my strength within this assignment was my composition as they wasn't a lot of my pictures without a clear composition like from within a frame or symmetry.

if i was to do this again i would work on my framing to make the images/theme more aesthetically pleasing