#aita response

[caecilius-in-horto-ubi-sedebit]

I know this isn't reddit, so it's very possible anon won't be interested in my paragraphs, but this hooked me in on all fronts.

So. My mom is a Rhodesian Ridgeback breeder, has been for the better part of a decade. I grew up around dogs, and for the past year or so I've worked in dog daycares and dogwalking gigs. And before I ever went professional, I was doing some pretty hardcore training stuff with my own dogs, I have some experience as a dog show handler. Point is, I love dogs! And clearly your brother also loves dogs, and that's great. But a big part of loving dogs is meeting a dog's needs.

There was a dog my manager's girlfriends fostered briefly. It was this ridgeback mix, super people aggressive, food aggressive, would bond with certain people, and then see anyone else as a threat to be eliminated. The good thing is that his aggression was predictable, which meant it could be responded to, to some extent. He ended up going to his forever home. A couple who lived in the middle of buttfuck nowhere in New Hampshire. No neighbors or neighbors' pets to be aggro towards.

It seems to me like that sort of environment is what Brutus needs.

I want you to be aware, anon, that it is incredibly fucked up, fucked down, fucked sideways, all kinds of fucked, for brother to bring a dog with a bite history into your home without disclosure. It's irresponsible, it's disrespectful, and it's downright wrong. Doing that endangered you, endangered brother, and endangered Brutus. You clearly have a lot of knowledge of dog bpdy language, and I'd bet my behind you are doing everything in your power to avoid triggering Brutus, but he is clearly incompatible with the life you two currently lead.

Brutus is a rottie. Rotties are inherently a lot of work. The breed was created as a guardian dog, they're highly territorial, they're generally more prone to biting than other breeds might be, and this dog in particular is a shelter dog, already has reactivity and aggression issues and has bitten a toddler in the face. Assuming he doesn't decline, he needs a lot of work. So much work. An insane amount of work. Work your brother clearly does not have the time to do for Brutus.

From how you talk, you clearly know how to act around dogs, you know what went wrong when you were attacked at 8, you know what to do, what not to do. This is entirely a problem with brother and Brutus.

So, let's recap quickly. Knowing full well that you have dog bite trauma, your brother, without ever discussing anything with you, asking you, nada, brought a large scary dog into your shared living space. Said dog has aggression problems, has reactivity and resource guarding problems, and oh, your brother lied to you so you wouldn't find out that not only does the dog have a bite history, the dog bit a god damned toddler. And he can't even be contained. He is unstoppable.

If at all possible, find a way to get out of living with your brother. This was such a reckless, irresponsible, dangerous, disrespectful decision, and brother has not once shown a comprehension of what a clusterfuck he's created.

In the short term, you are so NTA for not only asking that brother rehome Brutus, I might even say you should advocate for BA. (Behavioral Euthanasia) BA is an awful choice to make. No one wants to do it, no one likes it, but sometimes it's what's necessary, and it's what's kindest.

Brutus's aggression is probably partially fear-based, and partially the instincts bred into him as a guardian breed. He's living on edge, all the time. He's anxious, he's attached unhealthily to your brother... Poor man is not having a good time. He's in a constant state of stress and anxiety. He's unwell. It could easily be the case that the kindest, most merciful thing to do for Brutus is BA. And I have a hunch brother is not a fan of BA, so it probably wouldn't go over well, but it is an option that could be what's needed.

But regardless, this situation isn't sustainable. You can't be scared to leave your room in your own house becayse of a decision your roommate and brother made without ever looping you in. That's unacceptable in any circumstance. Brother needs to pull himself back to reality and realize he is hurting you!

I really hope Brutus finds that miracle home, with no neighbors for miles, and I hope you can feel safe in your home again. But at the very least, I hope your brother takes the mask of stupidity off and realizes how irresponsible he's been. Wish you all the best, and wishing your brother any braincells he can get, and wishing Brutus a nice relaxing nap.

AITA for asking my brother to rehome his reactive dog?

Sorry this is so long. I (F22) live with my brother (M25). My brother recently brought home a 120lb rottweiler named Brutus despite knowing I am afraid of big dogs.

I'm afraid of them because when I was 8 I was attacked by my uncle's German shepherd and had to get stitches in my leg and on my face. Don't get me wrong, the attack was my fault. My parents were in the other room comforting my uncle who just lost his son in a car crash, so they weren't paying attention to me. The dog was in her crate, and I snuck away to open it and climb in and start bothering her. She tolerated me for a long time before she finally snapped and attacked. I was old enough to know better, and my parents also told me to stay away from the dog and I didn't listen. It's entirely and solely my fault but all that being said, I'm still afraid of big dogs. I can warm up to them slowly and I have an ok relationship with a few friends' dogs (lab, 2 pit bulls, and a couple mutts).

My brother volunteers at an animal shelter and we had been talking about adopting a small dog, until one day he called me and said "please don't freak out" and told me he brought home Brutus. Brutus was surrendered to the shelter for growling at his owner's toddlers, and had been at the shelter for months with no adoption offers. He was going to be euthanized if no one took him, but my brother had bonded with him and panicked when he heard and adopted him.

I tried to like Brutus, I really did. But Brutus is a one person dog. He bonded to my brother and would resource guard him from me. My brother tried training him and it didn't really help. I tried playing with him, or giving him treats, or being the one to feed him, but whenever I get close to him his body language changes. His body goes stiff, he starts licking his lips with anxiety, and he gives me whale eyes. These are all the signs of a nervous dog who might bite, so I just stay away from him. My brother started locking Brutus in his crate before leaving me home alone with him.

Then Brutus figured out how to open his crate. And the next one my brother bought. And the next one.

I started being terrified to come out of my room when I was home alone, because I never knew if Brutus would be roaming loose. It came to a head after about 8 months when I really, really had to use the bathroom when I was home alone, so I tried to sneak out of my room. Brutus was sitting outside my brother's bedroom door, between me and the bathroom. He tensed up when I got close and growled when I tried to inch around him. I was so scared I left the house and peed outside and called my brother crying and told him I want Brutus gone.

He said no one would take Brutus and he couldn't return him to the shelter because he lied about him only growling at a toddler: he bit the toddler in the face. If I make him give Brutus away, he'll probably need to be euthanized. But I'm really, really scared of him and don't like being terrified to leave my room in my own home. AITA?

[kiisaes]

🔪 ☎️ 🍷

[devilsparda]

thought process while writing: dante walking on cobblestone would make really good asmr …. also pizza with dante | asmr big bites | crunchy sounds (doesn’t even like pizza/hasn’t ever talked about it much when writing dante) can u imagine dante doing the “worlds best cheese pull” and nothing comes out like yea that was great guys! 10/10 and then me getting hungry to go get a snack [guy who doesn’t like cheese] and by the time i get back i don’t remember what i was gonna write next. BTWWW i love watching food asmr videos when it’s ramadan, specifically in the last hour bc it’s kind of like self-flagellation if u really think about it (no it isn’t, it just helps me so i don’t “lose my hunger”) i actually forgot the point of this post bc i started typing the tags out half way thru… kind of like me oversharing but im distracting you with this post instead (wasn’t even the intention of the post). also i don’t like cheese but i’ve been fuckin w this pastry our local bakery but i havent had time to go bc the open/close while i’m at work AHHHHH okay time 2 go answer some messages now [gets distracted] [is tired] [is constantly working] [gets distracted] [is out with friends/family etc.] [gets distracted]

[coochiequeens]

She had to argue with that father of her baby to hold it just long to eat her dinner. Which she made while holding their crying baby.

[marietheran-archived]

reading AITAs to do with abortion is so painful because the question will be "Am I in the wrong for pressuring my 16yo daughter to get an abortion?" and the answers will all be "No, of course no one can expect you not to burden the girl with this for the rest of her life because you feel her child will be a burden on you" and "Tell her horror stories about pregnancy and being a single mother; that'll frighten her into compliance 😊💖😚"

[anotherhumanpet]

@aonokumura from here

"AITA for eating a whole roll of cookie dough raw?'

"YTA, and you're gross. Keep your salmonella kisses away from me."

[angst-is-love-angst-is-life]

I just saw something on instagram so I’m bringing it here

Writers, how would your antagonist describe themselves in an AITA post?

@shrinkthisviolet @negative-speedforce @fantasy-things-and-such @practically-an-x-man and anyone else

[ssaalexblake]

and i do think there should have been waaaaaaay more tension from Dawn aimed at Giles. Dawn gets abandoned by her father and realistically will have as many issues from that as Buffy did, except Buffy who is already supernaturally special and older and cooler than her actually gets another built in father figure actively Because of that specialness and Dawn is... Nobody again. And then Joyce dies. And then Buffy. And Dawn's not worth sticking around for when Buffy ain't there, anyway. Never mind that he Did actually look after her and know her just to up and leave like Hank did, except this time it's not a 'he abandoned us both' it's an 'i just don't mean anything and you did'. And yes it does bother me that he left Dawn in the care of four incompetents (in regards to childcare, they Suck, I am still angry at them all), a reprogrammed sexbot, and Spike. As another adult, i am judging the fuck out of this guy.

(I am aware he later leaves Buffy, but Dawn doesn't exactly know that's going to happen at that point.)

There is a Reason a vengeance demon ends up in that house and the roots of this problem reach far and wide and Giles never gets namechecked in this all and really Should be, because if the writer's had spent a second of thought on this, i'm pretty sure the logical conclusion would be him playing a hell of a role in the birth of Dawn's issues.

He did not Have to stick around, he didn't Have to have any kind of relationship with Dawn, but realistically that would have made her both hate him and desperately strive for his approval at the same time.

Basically I think that narratively Giles is kind of Dawn's deadbeat dad, and that they should have actually explored that.

[scalpho]

need gillariel breakup like a fish needs water not just for my sake fabian's sake and the sake of the world as a whole but for THEIR sakes too. not only is hallariel far too good-looking for gilear but also. i want to like gilear. he's my brother in yogurt. i want to chuckle at his pathetic loser antics. appreciate his GoodFather moments. but that's real hard to do knowing he looked at a woman who threatens to kill her son on the regular #AndMeansIt! and was like yeah i'll propose. yes she's hot but so is every other mother brennan lee mulligan's ever cooked up. grow a backbone you wet paper towel

[vtm-aita]

Aita for staking my grandsire's pet malkavian and leaving him for the sun?

I know the title sounds bad, but there’s genuinely no better way to describe how she treated him. He did her dirty work for her and since she’s a Ventrue I’m positive that if she didn’t see him as expendable the most she could see him as is a pet. (she’s also a terrible person from my understanding but that’s not the important part) Anyway, I feel both bad and not bad about it so I wanted to leave it up to others to decide if it was wrong to do.

I should probably start this out by saying that I (Fledgling, F) and the Malkavian in question (??M) have a rocky history. He sees himself as a detective and judge of other kindred, his Malkavian trait is that he sees auras in other kindred telling him if they’re innocent or guilty of heart. He was kinda incessant on bringing to justice those he saw guilty, and for some reason he picked me for the better part of a month (I know this because he GAVE me his auras through dementation as some sort of punishment for whatever he thought I did.) He thought I killed a ghoul that went missing (wasn’t me though I knew who did it.) so for the longest time he wouldn’t leave me alone.

I found out not long after that he worked for my grandsire (???F) and my sire (??M) didn’t like him. When he finally left the city I was in at the time and freed me from seeing those auras, I thought that’d be the end of dealing with him. Fast forward a few months and I’m working on a job for my sire that took me out of the city to where his sire resided. I’m doing my part for a BIG job which included meeting with an informant who was particularly paranoid of people out to get him… and then killing him after getting the information. :/ On my way to meet with him, who do I come across waiting for me but my grandsire’s pet.

He claimed that my informant was certain someone was going to kill him tonight, so he was there to not allow me to meet with him alone. When I tried to negotiate that he could be there but not close enough to hear (because incidentally the BIG job included kinda screwing over my grandsire a bit) he dominated me into calling the informant to set up the meeting. Once it was done and the dominate dropped, I realized he was gone.

After I raced there after him, I found him with my informant with a shotgun in hand about to shoot the informant claiming that my grandsire sent her regards. I tackled the informant to the ground and took the shot myself (fortitude ftw) to protect him and the Malkavian in question and myself ended up fighting. After a long struggle the result was him torpored and staked, and my job done with a pile of ashes at my feet once I got the information I needed. No doubt about it I am the asshole for the second murder, but I’ve made my peace with it.

But was I the asshole for deciding to leave the staked and torpored malkavian to burn in the sun?

It does sound as though this Malkavian instigated this fight — both through dementation and through this violence. You would not have been able to do your job without staking him, I am sure.

Still, it seems he was under the instruction of your grandsire, and this could lead to problems for you later down the line.

[waltzingwhimsy]

Im so lazy, it’s annoying me :/

I can be responsible, idk why I’m not

[tooweirdfortheworld]

he expected YOU to make the plans for it, when you said you were already busy and overwhelmed with planning for the trip? definitely NTA.

does your boyfriend do much around the house? he seems the type to leave most chores to you

Aita for refusing to make birthday plans that involve my boyfriend ⁉️

So my birthday is coming up in about two weeks. One of my oldest friends, T, has her birthday the same week as mine, so she had planned a trip to watch the upcoming eclipse, staying with our friends, in a little airbnb near some hiking trails in the woods. She said she would be happy to share the birthday celebration with me, and we can have a nice rural birthday vacation for a few days. Sounds good to me! I immediately agreed to it. She said that, of course, my boyfriend is invited, since it's going to be a party for me too.

When I asked my boyfriend the first time, about two months ago, he was working on getting a new job so he was unsure about whether he would manage to get the time off to be able to go. He did not end up getting the job. About two weeks ago I asked AGAIN if he would be interested in going on the trip. He seemed completely disinterested, fully wrinkled his nose at the thought of spending multiple days hiking in the woods. He said he would "think about it" but I could tell by his tone that he was not interested. That's fine with me! Girls birthday weekend in the woods with friends.

He asked me today what I want to do for my birthday. But I already have birthday plans, and I'm spending all my free time and quite a bit of money helping my friend to get it all planned out. I genuinely don't want to do anything else? I'm already overwhelmed with planning, and I intend on spending the week leading up to the trip packing and ironing out logistics, between working full time and being an adult. But he wants me to come up with a full plan for activities for my birthday. I told him that there already is a plan, and an activity, and I don't really want to do anything else.

And like that's fine with me! I'm super introverted and also neurodivergent so even the IDEA of doing multiple big things in one week, in which I work almost every day leading up to the trip, is exhausing. I would be more than happy to stay home and play baldurs gate all weekend, maybe go to like chilis or something. But he's getting upset, saying he wants to do something fun with me for my birthday, but there's really nothing I want to do except relax and not have to think about trip planning for a while.

SO, aita for refusing to make birthday plans that involve my boyfriend ⁉️⁉️

NUANCE: T is also a friend of my boyfriends, she is actually the person who introduced us to each other. The other friends are T's coworkers who I've hung out with a few times. My boyfriend doesn't know them, but it's only three other people, so it's not some huge wild party or anything. Just a small group making burgers and hot dogs with a bonfire and watching an eclipse, playing board games, having some drinks. It's right up his alley, so I don't understand why he doesn't want to go. There's no financial or work issue. He just doesn't want to.

[gender-euphowrya]

tell me why i'm seeing people saying it's ok for people to drink while pregnant because "it's their choice" what the hell is going on

[pixlerelish]

Had to small talk with somebody in real life today and not on the internet I’m going to throw up

[coochiequeens]

Of course the comments were insulting the girl instead of considering the possibility that she saw a real chance that she could end up being stuck babysitting all of the cousins that will be there.

[bethanydelleman]

Or you could do an AITA of Emma asking if it was a bad thing she told Harriet to turn down Robert's proposal?

Thanks for the idea Anon. I have posted it finally. (Wow this ask is old)