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when i taste blood in my mouth, i feel alive
- simon 'ghost' riley x male! reader
warnings: sparring is like sex but for boys, slight objectification, brat taming and forcemasc if you squint and overanalyze everything the way i want u to notes: never believe me when i tell yall im gonna start writing regularly again. also if you saw me post the rough draft on accident no u didnt
fem aligned dni
a dog with blood in its mouth - flat sound
Sweat prickled down his face, burning his eyes, catching in the corners. He blinked hard, jaw tight, the heat pressing in, oppressive, thick like a blanket, sticking to his skin and crawling along his spine. Something animal clawed at his insides. Adrenaline, hunger, whatever it was, prickled his skin and made his teeth itch. Low, wild, unsettled, a raw, nervous want. Not nervous like prey. Not tonight. He could feel it in the way his gaze kept flicking to Simon’s throat, his teeth aching, jaw clenching with the urge to close them round Simon’s throat, just to taste it. Just to prove he could. He wanted to leave a mark, something Simon couldn’t ignore. Every inhale tasted like old gym mat and fluorescent light. Two predators circling, all teeth and heat, blood warming in the dark.
The air between them was thick, almost sticky, and not just from the sweat. Something else simmered there—unspoken, dangerous, and edged with heat.
Simon, for his part, looked bored. To him, [Name] was noise. A rookie, a distraction, too slow, too sloppy, too wet behind the ears, however you wanna put it, [Name] failed to be much of a threat. He was dead weight. If no one had beat that lesson into him yet, Simon was willing to take on that responsibility. [Name] was a problem to solve, or maybe a body to break in. Simon’s eyes, cold and bottomless, slid over [Name] as if cataloging every flaw, every twitch, every secret. There was still something deeper to that glare, something he wouldn’t dare share. Not to someone who still flinched.
The sky outside was thick black, the kind you could drown in. Inside, the training room was all harsh fluorescence. Cruel, cold blue-white tubes buzz incessantly overhead, draining the color out of everything.
[Name] moved with forced calm, like if he got it wrong, he’d be proving that he was exactly what Simon made him out to be– raw, half-made, desperate to prove something. Like he was trying to convince himself and Simon alike that he belonged here. He wasn’t an idiot, no matter what Simon thought. He didn’t wind up here through sheer luck, at least not luck alone. He knew how to take a beating and grit his teeth. At least they could both recognize that much.
He kept moving. He was never still, never predictable, always searching for the gap. [Name] overthought every step, every twitch, focus fraying at the edges. But Simon wasn’t giving him shit. No tells, no slip, no gap. He was a wall, unyielding and unreadable. Simon must’ve seen it, the way he faltered, the way his eyes flickered to the line of his jaw, the thick column of his neck, the way his arms flexed even at rest. It made something low and hungry twist in [Name]’s gut.
Simon caught it and pounced. Quick, brutal, efficient. He closed the distance, fist grabbing a handful of [Name]’s sleeve, the other locking on his wrist as he raised it to counter, grip like iron. A hard yank, a twist, world tilting. His back met the thin padded mat, useless as sharp pain carved a line up the length of his back. Breath punched out of him, vision blurred, and body aching. He clenched his jaw and took the pain. He wouldn’t give Simon the satisfaction of a wince.
Not that it mattered. Simon could tell. Hopefully, the pain would serve as a reminder of exactly who was in charge.
Simon was already up, standing above him, not even winded, hands perched on his hips. “Left my back open with that toss.” [Name] could hear the sneer etched on Simon’s face, mask be damned, vowels tight and accent thick. “Could’ve had me, if you’d been paying attention. But you fucked it. Again.”
His words stung worse than the landing. [Name] forced himself upright, jaw tight, looking anywhere other than Simon. Still, the contempt in Simon’s eyes had a weight to it, palpable, sharp, assessing. “Keep that up, you’ll end up with a bullet in your skull. Get your mates killed too. That shit’s not gonna cut it, lad. Not here.”
[Name] risked a glance up, their eyes meeting for a split second. The look Simon gave him was heavy, loaded with something dangerous. It sent a shiver down [Name]’s spine, made him want to bare his teeth in response.
It wasn’t fair. He was just a man. Nothing special, not really, no matter what the medals and empty praise suggested. All those years of being told he’d be something more, now reduced to this; aching on the mat, humiliated by a man built to break people. Simon’s shirt was damp with sweat, clinging to the curve of his back and the swell of his chest, fabric stretched tight over muscle and fat. Unforgiving, solid. Built for this. Like violence was just muscle memory. Something twisted in his gut, hot and mean and desperate.
“Got something to say?” Simon’s voice cut through the haze, tight and impatient.
[Name] dropped his gaze, ears hot and red. “No, sir.” The words came out clipped, almost sarcastic.
“Didn’t think so. Get up.”
He forced himself up, joints cracking, every muscle protesting, body heavy. He rolled his shoulders, tried to shake out the tension that clung to him. The only thing that kept him upright was want. It was a live wire under his skin. It was ugly. But it was his. Not a want to win, but to feel. Feel his fist connect with the soft tissue behind that mask, the heat, and weight of him, to leave a mark that would last, to see what it took to make someone like Simon bleed, to see it smeared on his lips. There was an intimacy to it. Knowing what bruise to prod at to make a man gasp, to drag that sound out from his bared throat. He just wasn’t there yet. But he wanted it.
“Again,” Simon barked. He was already set, bruised fists raised, chin tucked, eyes flat. “Don’t piss about this time.”
Asshole.
Simon eased him back in. Slow, teasing, mockingly gentle. His mercy was a trick, one he didn’t bother to play at for long. The rhythm he’d eased [Name] into quickly turned punishing the moment [Name] got hit footing. He pressed, relentless. Breath tore at [Name]’s lungs with each calculated strike and every precise move. Simon’s fists found every bruise, every soft spot. It sent static through his nerves. His muscles strained, throat raw with heavy gasps. And he just took it. He swallowed the blood, ate every hit, braced for more.
His arms were heavy, his legs trembling, but he stayed upright, stubborn. He needed to land a hit, just one. The urge gnawed at him, louder than the pain. It was almost desperate, the need to see Simon falter, even for a second.
Simon drew his arm back, telegraphing the punch. [Name] saw the opening—split-second, barely there. He ducked the hook, letting his own fist fly. His fist caught on Simon’s nose, knuckles on cartilage. Simon staggered, hand to his mask, blood blooming, seeping into the fabric. [Name] froze, shocked. He watched Simon stagger back as his knuckles began to ache. That pain felt a bit better this time.
Still, [Name]’s lips parted, a half-assed apology stuck in his throat.
A laugh rips from Simon’s throat, low and rough, almost proud. It cuts off whatever [Name] was failing to stutter out.
“Cheeky bastard,” Simon mutters, blood staining the male skin of his hands. “That’s more like it, soldier.”
Simon didn’t hold back after that. Every dodge, every block, every feint was a challenge, a provocation. One that Simon answered with a counter, pushing harder, faster. [Name] could barely keep up, vision narrowing, breath shallow and ragged. The sound of fists on flesh echoed in the room, relentless, obscene. Simon bore down, all muscle and intent, and [Name] felt himself start to unravel, pulse skipping, nerves burning. Simon was a machine—predictable only in his brutality.
Then Simon swept his legs. All over again, [Name] dropped hard. He hit the mat once more, world spinning, and air gone. The thick taste of copper and spit coated his tongue, could feel it seep out of his gums. This time, he was too exhausted to feign indifference, a pained grunt pulling from his throat as Simon loomed above him, silhouette a sharp cut against the light.
He propped himself up, elbows digging into the mat, body trembling from the aftershock. His lips parted as shaky breaths slowly raked through his body, skin slick with sweat, hot and flushed. Simon’s frame covered his own in shadow, eyes cold, pinning him in place like a blade to his skin. It was hungry. Possessive. [Name] didn’t make a move to get up, he just held that glare. Something settled into [Name]’s gut, warm and dizzying, shameful and exciting. [Name]’s response is a curl of his lips, defiant, teeth bared, mouth bloody and cracked. Something like a grin, maybe
“That was better.” It was barely a compliment, but even that was something special out of Simon. He crouched down low, to [Name]’s level. Simon’s hand found the curve of his jaw, rough and possessive, fingers pressing into the tender flesh there. He smeared the still-wet blood from his hand across [Name]’s cheek, thumb pressing into the split he’d given his lip. “Maybe the old man was right. Might be some worth to you after all.”
“Yeah?” [Name] shot back, voice dry with sarcasm.
“Careful.” Simon’s grip tightened. A warning. “Could make a weapon out of you. But your mouth is bigger than your brain.”
“That’s not nice.”
“No, it isn’t.”
Simon’s face twisted—half a sneer, half a grin.“Stick around, and I’ll fix that. Teach you how to act like a proper man.”
[Name] stared, pulse pounding against Simon’s palm. He turned [Name]’s head in his hand with a slight twist of his wrist. The touch was rough but precise, testy like he was checking the weight of a pistol, a rifle, searching for the potential in its heavy plastic, seeing how he could modify it, to mold it to his own needs, if it was worth the trouble. Simon’s eyes lingered a moment too long on [Name]’s lips, the blood, the sensitive, exposed flesh. He made his decision.
“You broken?” Simon shoved his head away as he straightened back to his feet, arms crossed over his chest, expression unreadable.
“... No, sir.”
“Didn’t think so. Get up.”
#cod x reader#cod x male reader#ghost x male reader#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x male reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x male reader#male reader#x male reader
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class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhfy#fhsy#fhjy#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#my class swap stuff! oh yeah I think I got a tag for that I'll call that#fh class quangle#gna slowly go back and get that tag on relevant posts too. for organization's sake#even tho I didnt really intend this blog to be that kinda blog lmao. we were all just gonna be out here dealin with that at our own pace#anyways uh! they! u know all the lore for the designs already I put em in tags. but otherwise this also collects like the#color keys kind of for these. mostly the things that change between designs#doing this did make me realise half of these are a Lot more consistent in color keys than the other half lol#like kristen's palette stays pretty much the same. and fabian's. the hit's mostly in the construction#a lot of this is overall like an exercise in remembering what high schoolers would actually wear and how to work in Costume pieces#on this point at least I straight up have No relevant recollection lmao all the basic education establishments I went to have uniforms#and outside of school I was. well kind of a shorts and tee guy. so#on that topic I feel like fabian's is the furthest stretch lmao. like if a guy in high school wears the same bright yellow raincoat#to school every day that's like. people would Not like that guy. fabian really is saved by being cute and a rogue#he will still have stans when he's deep in his fishing arc in junior year he's the manic pixie dream bf#anyways uh. things to do! stuff to get done. sleep first tho. have a good night lads#I have not caught new nsbu yet! seems I mostly catch them like two to three days late nowadays.#so please uhh. don't reply on my posts with nsbu spoilers? we are all excited and having fun but that's rude#ok thank u. signing off for the day have a good night#!!
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GUYS I'M CRYING THEY'RE SO FREAKING CUTE!! AAAA ALL I NEEDED WAS A COUPLE PIPE CLEANERS FROM THE HARDWARE STORE AND NOW I HAVE MORE PLUSHIES HHHH...
#the kangaroo is Kayla (no name for the joey on the tag) and the spider is Spinderella#i got the mini spinderella bc i dont think the full size will fit in my little basket of small plushies#plus she looks kinds like a jumping spider like this#maybe not jumping spider tbh more like the kinda spider that hides in big white flowers to catch pollinators#usually see those in datura flowers around here idk what the species is#anyway holy shit theyre so cute and no the joey doesnt come out i checked he still too babby#i promise i dont have a plushie addiction#edit before i post - just put them in the basket and added that pic and omgggg#theyre sooo cute like this#didnt realize theyre all beanies (and one keychain pillowpet light) lol#u can tell i like the weirder animals i had to get 3 dragons ofc#the bat i think was a gift after one of my last 2 surgeries (family knows i like bats)#and then the camel bc i love the camelid type animals (like alpacas too) bc theyre so fren shaped w their long necks#i gotta wash some of my bigger plushies soon (blanco and sir alpacasso) bc they havent been on my bed in a while#literally have a note in my calendar to wash them tomorrow#but idk my mok said were not having any more hot days for a while its overcast today again so idk might postpone that#anyway i gotta get back to sewing#plushies#beanie babies#Cori.exe#Image.exe#spiders#bugs#arachnids
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for the first time since surgery 2 weeks ago I felt up to doing some dishes so I got the dishwasher loaded and found out that no fucking wonder the dishes haven't been getting as clean lately. it was set to "light" soil level and the steam option was off. it usually keeps settings between uses and it was still getting used once or twice a week so someone must have changed it but i can't imagine why
#if it's set to lightly clean it is not gonna get our shit clean I'll tell u that#not all of that gets soaked beforehand but between the Normal cycle and the steam it usually is perfectly fine#anyway apparently im also the only one in this apartment who's able to clean the sink too bc it was NASTY down there and of course some loo#e fork got stuck under the edge of the drain catch so all the food particles just went under it. rendering it useless no matter how much#i swirled around the food actually sitting in the mesh part#and im not trying to blame my gf here i know it's been a struggle taking care of both me and herself and dishes are her least favorite chore#and the dishes in the sink ARE our dishes.... i guess i just feel like if someone has a major surgery and their disabled partner is clearly#struggling w things like dishes in a shared kitchen and ur already friends it's just a nice thing to do to offer help there#plus i had to rewash some of the CLEAN dishes in the drying rack that i didnt get a chance to put away before surgery#bc our one roommate literally wont wash his dishes he just rinses them out with hot water and sets them to dry on top of our clean dishes#'dry' bc sometimes he doesnt even put things upside down and the water just collects in the bottom of them.#but when he does do it right it means oil is just dripping onto my clean dishes! and he clearly knows how hard it is#for us to get those dishes clean lmao
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iggypan
#shut up luci#delete later#i cant keep thinking of alice going to japan for a meeting but deciding to arrive early to do some casual tourist things bc its been so long#since shes done tourist things. anyway this is like the early aughts or late 90s whatever. she goes to the bridge to see all the cool fashio#fashion and maybe take pics like a rude tourist. maybe even check out the shops and buy something cute. and shes like WOAH so many cool styl#styles. heavily inspired by me england i am england i invented punk me personally i did that. and goth. whatever the hell this lolita is#is also clearly inspired by european fashion. and vw's mini crini line.#she just thinks jfash is neat. doesnt rly get all of it but she likes it. its cool. but then as shes taking picture like a rude person#she notices one girl look straight at her and then duck and turn around and speedwalk away. and iggys like oi wait im sorry i'll delete the#picture im sorry miss i didnt mean to be rude! and when she catches up to her shes like ?!?!?! sakura??? why are you dressed like this???#and sakura is like ahhhh i didnt know you would be here. sometimes i dress up when i am not working. it is fun i have some friends who like#to meet up here. yes humans. ahhhh >_< i really didnt mean for u to see me like this..... and iggys like oh its no big deal i dont mind.#i think this whole lolita thing suits u. hahaha remember when i used to dress all punk and gothic and whatnot? what you wear outside of work#is your own business. plus its cute :3 like u :3 hey maybe next time we can dress up together and go clubbing or to a concert. er...#a live as u say. haha lol. and sakura is like mmm perhaps. that might be fun. and then alice is like Right now how do i get to the maid cafe#from here. and sakura is like >_> ok um which one.#i love them
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— Borrowed time, part 5
‼️Caleb x reader x Sylus. Reader not MC. University AU. Modern AU. Angst angst angst!
Everyone knows Caleb is in love with MC. Everyone. Including you. But that does not stop him from flirting with you, teasing you, keeping you close. And it definitely does not stop you from falling for him—even when you know you’re just a stand-in, a place holder.
“I bet you still thought of me.”
song: party 4 u by charlie xcx [this song has been the main inspiration for this series, so whatever you feel listening go this song, i hope you’ll feel that while reading this series as well]
word count = 9.6k
i appreciate all likes, comments, reblogs, and asks. i may not reply to all of them, but i want you to know that i reread them over and over <3
i cant say im proud of this chapter, and tbh theres so much i hate about this part, but if i dont post this right now, i dont think i ever will, so please be kind, but i appreciate constructive criticisms! if this part felt unsatisfactory, just pretend this update didnt happen lol
ps. thank you so much for over 1k followers??? heres a thousand roses for all of you 😭🌹
part 1 | masterlist

The door creaks open.
The closet’s darkness slips away, replaced by blinding light and loud cheers.
But everything feels distant.
Your breaths are shallow. The warmth of his breath still clings to your skin, the ghost of his lips a lingering echo. His touch—still branded into your waist, your jaw, the hollow between your ribs. Your pulse hasn’t settled.
The air outside is cool, but your skin burns.
You stumble slightly as you step out, Sylus behind you—his shirt rumpled, one button undone. His silver hair is tousled, a little too messy. Your lips sting. You know you look wrecked.
And the crowd eats it up. Whoops and whistles explode around you.
You try to smile. You try to breathe.
But then your eyes land on him.
Caleb.
He’s across the room, half-lit by the cheap string lights, drink forgotten in his hand. His jaw is tight, his expression unreadable—except for his eyes.
They are cold.
Piercing.
It’s not anger. It’s like he’s looking right through you—like you’ve somehow ruined something sacred. Like you’re the disappointment.
Your chest tightens.
And then, just behind him, you catch a flash of movement.
MC.
Her head is down, hair shielding her face, her arms wrapped tightly around herself as she brushes past him, shouldering her way through the crowd.
Caleb snaps out of his trance in a heartbeat. His face shifts—concern overtaking scorn—as he calls after her and follows without hesitation.
And just like every time before, he doesn’t even spare you a second glance.
The cheers fade into static. Laughter turns tinny and distant, swallowed by the ringing in your ears.
It hits you all at once.
The heat. The mess. The press of Sylus’s body against yours. The way you leaned into it. The way you wanted to. The way you let yourself.
And then—MC’s face. Her voice. Her smile when she told you he’s kinda cute, isn’t he?
Guilt slams into you like a car.
It punches the breath from your lungs.
You feel it in your throat, acidic and raw, threatening to spill. A sickening twist coils in your stomach, bile licking at the edges of your tongue.
What have you done?
What did you just let happen?
Your skin crawls. The warmth you felt seconds ago now feels wrong—disgusting. It clings to you like smoke. Like shame.
You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to hold in the nausea curling up your chest.
Sylus says something beside you, low and teasing, but you don’t catch the words.
All you can hear is your own blood rushing in your ears.
And all you can feel is the weight of what you’ve just done. The taste of it. Bitter. Burning.
And the worst part?
You don’t even know who you’re more disgusted with—Caleb…
Or yourself.
You don’t wait for the whispers.
You don’t wait to see if MC turns back or if Caleb says anything at all.
You push through the crowd, pulse hammering in your throat, lungs clawing for air like there’s not enough oxygen in the room, not enough space in your ribs for this many feelings, this much shame.
The door slams shut behind you but it’s not enough.
Not enough to drown out the ghost of Sylus’s hands still on your waist. Not enough to erase the memory of his mouth against yours, hot and unbothered and too real.
Not enough to wipe away the scowl in Caleb’s eyes or the way MC couldn’t even look at you.
The night is too loud. The world is too close. Everything—everything—is pressing in on you.
So you push everything out of your way, scouring to find air.
You don’t think, don’t breathe, just bolt down the steps of the villa, sandals slapping against stone, the wind catching in your hair, stinging your eyes, stealing your balance. You don’t care.
The beach calls to you like a goddamn siren.
You trip onto the sand, knees buckling, breath shaking, heart feral in your chest like it’s trying to break out and leave you behind. You tear your heels off, toss them somewhere you’ll never find again, and march straight toward the water like it might wash you clean.
The ocean crashes louder than your thoughts.
Salt fills your nose. Wind tangles in your hair. The stars above are too bright, mocking. Too calm for the storm splitting your insides apart.
You drop to your knees at the shoreline, water licking at your calves, seeping into your clothes, and you let it. You need it. You need the cold. You need the sting. You need to feel something real.
Because everything in your chest is twisted. Twisted and wrong and out of place.
You lean forward, pressing your forehead against your knees, breathing like each inhale might keep you from unraveling completely. You wish it were just the alcohol. Just a mistake. Just a hazy memory you could laugh off tomorrow.
But you remember it too clearly.
His mouth. The weight of his gaze in the dark. The way his hand didn’t hesitate when it slid against your jaw, when he leaned in like he’d been waiting to taste you all night.
And you let him.
Worse—you wanted it.
The thought turns your stomach. You dig your fingers deeper into the wet sand, nails scraping at the earth, like maybe you can bury the part of you that’s smiling.
Because she’s there.
Somewhere inside you—beneath the nausea, beneath the shame—there’s a version of you curled up, smug and satisfied. A version who watched MC’s face twist, who watched Caleb’s scowl turn cold, and felt nothing but satisfaction.
That part of you is smiling.
You hate her.
Because that part of you—the one that enjoyed it—she’s been quiet for a long time. Always biting her tongue, always watching from the corners while MC took the spotlight, while Caleb gave his warmth to someone else. You taught her to wait. To be kind. To be better.
But god, you’re tired.
Tired of twinkling for people who never look up long enough to see you. Tired of being loved only in parts—when you’re easy, when you’re quiet, when you’re beautiful and harmless.
You’ve always been the supporting character in everyone else’s story. The best friend. The comic relief. The tragic footnote.
So tonight, you wanted to be the villain.
So tonight, she let herself out.
You let her kiss him.
You let her drag Sylus into that closet and tilt your chin up with a smile that begged “ruin me if you want to.”
And she did.
Now here you are, buried in the sand and sea, trying to figure out if the guilt eating at you is heavier than the satisfaction still curling at the edge of your lips.
You’re not supposed to feel this way.
You’re not supposed to want to be seen like that. Wanted like that.
Not at the cost of MC. Not at the cost of Caleb’s crumbling expression.
But you do.
You wanted them to see. You wanted to be wanted. And for a second—you finally were.
And for that, you are repenting your sins, kneeling by the shore and letting the cold eat you whole.
The tide rushes in again, crashing against your skin.
You raise your head, throat raw, eyes burning.
You sit there, watching the waves hit and retreat, over and over, counting the sparkling stars reflected on the ocean surface, until you could not feel your feet.
This is your way of atoning—because you fear the girl curled up inside you, biting on her nails every time a tear threatens to fall. Because the damage she has done once you let her out for a fraction of a moment is irreversible. Collateral.
And because you can’t promise this will be the last time you let her out.
You finally return to your room, dread curling tight in your chest like a vice. Each step down the hallway feels heavier than the last, your body moving on autopilot, mind spiraling with possibilities.
You hesitate at the door. Fingers resting on the knob. You aren’t sure what you’re bracing for.
An angry Michaela?
A tear-streaked Michaela?
A cold, distant Michaela who won’t even look you in the eye?
You don’t know which would be worse.
The knob turns with a quiet click, the door creaking open. You take a breath—slow, bracing—and step inside.
Empty.
The room is quiet. Still.
Her suitcase remains tucked in the corner. A half-drunk bottle of water sits on the bedside table. The lights are off, the curtains drawn. Not a trace of her. Not even the ghost of footsteps.
Somehow, it’s worse than yelling.
You stand there for a moment, motionless, caught in the heavy weight of nothingness.
Then your phone buzzes.
MC [02:46 AM]: Had to clear my head. Be back later.
Short. Punctuated. Not cold, but definitely not warm either.
And with that, you’re left alone.
Surrounded by silence.
Sinking into it.
You sit on the edge of the bed, heart thrumming against your ribs.
You should feel relieved.
You grip the edge of the mattress tighter.
You should be thankful the confrontation didn’t happen yet.
But all you feel is this crawling unease.
Like the silence is just the eye of the storm.
And when she comes back—
You’re not sure which version of Michaela you’ll meet.
And worse—you’re not sure which version of you she’ll find.
You get changed and crawl under the covers, body heavy, soul heavier. The silence is your only companion—thick, choking, unforgiving. You bury yourself into the blankets like they could shield you from the weight of what you’ve done.
Eventually, exhaustion drags you under.
•
Rustling wakes you.
Sharp. Precise. Intentional.
You blink your eyes open, and there she is.
Michaela.
Her back turned to you.
Her suitcase is open on the floor, half-filled. Clothes folded with a neatness that feels hostile.
You sit up slowly, throat dry.
She doesn’t look at you, nor say a word.
You rise. Move toward your side of the room. Get ready in silence. The kind of silence that screams.
Every breath feels wrong. Every second, guilt crawls further up your throat, pressing, choking, aching.
You swallow hard, then try to break the weight as you part your mouth to speak.
Your voice is quiet. Fragile.
“Michaela… last night, I—”
Michaela freezes for only a second before she turns around, face already wearing a smile that feels too sharp, too bright.
“Was such a blast! You gotta tell me all about what happened in that closet!” She winks.
“No—I—”
“Don’t think too deeply into it!” She waves her hand casually, like you’d just brought up a funny memory from a party instead of the reason her bag is half-packed. She lets out a breathy laugh, brushing her hair behind her ear. “It’s college, Yn. People kiss like, all the time. It’s nothing.” Her face drops slightly, but returns back to its beaming state. She reaches for your hands, and her voice lowers down. “It’s just a kiss, isn't it?”
A pause.
“Y-yeah,” you utter.
Her face beams once more as she squeezes your hands. “Besides, he is a pretty good kisser, isn’t he?”
You stare at her. The smile she’s wearing is dazzling—carefully crafted, practiced.
But it doesn’t reach her eyes.
And that hurts more than if she’d screamed at you.
The silence that follows is unbearable.
Eventually, the two of you gather the last of your things and leave the room. You walk side by side, the air between you tight with everything unsaid.
Outside, everyone is saying their goodbyes. Laughter, hugs, last-minute selfies. But none of it touches you. Not really.
You spot Caleb near the car, arms crossed, jaw tight.
He shifts his weight, arms crossed, leaning against the car with that infuriatingly calm expression—like he’s been waiting to deliver a blow.
“Well, well,” he drawls, eyes dragging over your form. “Eventful night, huh?”
You freeze mid-step.
His tone is light, teasing, even laced with that familiar cocky lilt—but it cuts deeper than any insult. Because you know Caleb. You know exactly when he means it. When the smile on his face is just another weapon.
“Hope he was worth the show,” he adds with a smirk. You can’t quite get a read on his face, can’t really understand whether the smirk is teasing, jabbing, or insulting.
You don’t answer. You can’t. So you walk past him without a word.
But he’s not done.
He leans in just slightly, voice dropping low enough for only you to hear:
“I bet you still thought of me.”
It hits you like a slap. You don’t flinch. You don’t give him that satisfaction. But it scorches down your spine, curling into something heavy and sour in your stomach.
All words run dry in your throat.
Because you know you did, and he knows you did.
So, swallowing down the lump in your throat, you quietly climb into the car.
The ride back is a void—quiet and cold despite the sun that floods through the windows.
Michaela sits in the front, headphones in, eyes fixed outside. Her expression is unreadable, a delicate mask of serenity.
Caleb drives in silence, but the tension in his body betrays him.
His knuckles tighten around the steering wheel. The muscle in his jaw ticks every time the car slows.
And yet—despite everything—you still see the way his hand occasionally reaches over to Michaela’s thigh. Subtle. Familiar. He squeezes gently, reassuringly, every time the silence grows too loud.
You sit in the backseat, hands clenched in your lap, stomach churning, heart clawing at your ribcage.
Because somehow, in this cramped little car filled with silence and ghosts, you still feel like the one who doesn’t belong.
•
You finally find yourself back in your familiar space.
The door clicks shut behind you.
Shoes off. Bag down. Keys tossed on the counter.
The silence wraps around you, soft and undemanding.
For the first time in days, you breathe without pretending.
You shower, letting the water scald the memory of Michaela’s laugh off your skin.
You eat something. Actual food. Not alcohol. Not regret.
And for a brief, flickering moment, you start to feel okay again.
Until your phone pings.
A message.
Unknown [6:43 PM]: So?
You freeze.
Every part of you stills—except for your heart, which begins to pound like it remembers the thing you’ve tried so hard to forget since last night.
Something forbidden.
Something thrilling.
Something wrong.
The memory comes back in flashes as guilt claws its way up your throat, hot and unrelenting. It tastes like shame.
You stare at the screen until the words blur.
And then, with trembling hands, you type.
You [6:50 PM]: It was a mistake.
You [6:50 PM]: Don’t text me again.
You hit send before you can think twice.
Your phone slips from your grip, landing face-down on the bed as you bury your face in your hands.
“It was a mistake,” you mumbled.
•
The following days were the most peaceful ones you’ve had in what felt like forever—quiet, slow, and mercifully uneventful. No parties. No whispered gossip. No sharp glances from Caleb or strained smiles from Michaela. Just the soft hum of routine and the space to finally breathe.
You sleep more. Eat better. Enjoying the lasts of your break. You’re rebuilding yourself piece by piece—one uneventful morning at a time.
But the moment you start feeling a little more like yourself, Monday catches up.
The quiet comfort of the break ends the second your feet hit campus tiles. The world spins forward like nothing ever happened.
Michaela acts like nothing ever happened.
She greets you with the same bright smile, the same light giggle, the same affectionate bump of the shoulder. As if that night was just another one of many forgettable college party blurs. As if your lips had never touched Sylus’s. As if her eyes hadn’t dulled the second they landed on you.
And you pretend too.
Because it’s easier that way. Safer.
Later that day, she loops her arm through yours as you walk out of class, swinging your hands between you. “Let’s go shopping after lectures? I need a new outfit or something for the first viewing next week,” she beams.
You nod before you can think too hard about it.
“Oh—” she adds, with that little flicker in her voice that always precedes something calculated, “I invited Caleb too.”
Your smile doesn’t falter, but your stomach twists.
The shopping trip is tolerable at best. Michaela slips into her spotlight with ease—twirling in front of mirrors, holding up dresses with playful pouts, laughing just a bit too loud at jokes that don’t quite land. Caleb sticks close, fingers brushing her waist, whisper her ear when she grins too hard.
But his eyes wander.
You catch him sometimes, gaze flicking to you when Michaela isn’t looking. Just for a second. Just enough to leave that same sour taste in your throat.
You don’t acknowledge it.
You can’t.
Instead, you smile when Michaela pulls you into the dressing room with her. You nod when Caleb asks if you’re tired. You pretend not to notice how her laugh dims a little when he lingers by your side for too long. You go through the motions—lift the hangers, compliment the colors, offer the safe, neutral opinions you’ve mastered so well.
It’s like muscle memory now. Playing your role.
Because if you don’t look too hard, you can almost believe this is normal. That nothing’s changed. That your mouth hadn’t betrayed you. That your silence wasn’t stitched from guilt.
By the time the sun dips below the skyline and the three of you step out of the store, bags in hand and feigned joy in your lungs, you feel wrung out—drained from smiling too much and meaning none of it.
Caleb says something—something teasing, probably—and Michaela laughs like a girl in love.
You stay a step behind them, clutching your bag a little too tightly.
You tell yourself it’s fine.
You tell yourself you deserve this.
Because in this triangle of careful lies and quiet betrayals—
You’re the one who kissed the wrong boy.
And you were the one who almost said yes again.
“Oh! I almost forgot,” Michaela says, as if it just came to her. “You have to come to the premiere next month.”
You blink. “The… premiere?”
She grins. “The film. The one we shot over break? We’re doing a small screening—kind of like a soft launch—for friends and crew.” She swings her shopping bags absentmindedly. “It’s just this tiny old theatre on 12th. Indie vibes, red velvet seats, ancient projector that might burst into flames halfway through—super charming.”
You force a smile. “Sounds cute.”
“You’ll come, right?” she says, looking at you over the rim of her cup. “I already told them to save you a seat.”
You hesitate—but not long enough for her to notice. “Sure.”
She beams. “Perfect.” Then, casually: “Sylus will be there too. I made sure he’d come.”
Your fingers tighten slightly around the straps of your bag.
“Made sure?” you echo, trying to keep your tone even.
Michaela shrugs, but there’s a sparkle in her eyes—the kind that always means she’s saying more than she lets on. “Yeah! I’ve been seeing him pretty frequently these days. Bumped into him a few times after the shoot… had coffee once or twice. He’s actually really funny when he’s not being all mysterious and broody.”
“Oh,” Caleb joins, light and amused. “Him. Great. Can’t wait to hear him brood about cinematography or whatever the hell it is he does.”
Michaela laughs, linking her arm with yours again. “Be nice. He’s actually been really helpful lately.”
“Helpful,” Caleb echoes, quirking a brow as he pops the lollipop from his mouth. “Didn’t realize mysterious bad boys were part of the crew now.”
“He’s not a ‘bad boy’,” she says, rolling her eyes.
She says it lightly, but there’s a deliberate lilt in her voice—a softness, almost flirtatious.
Your grip on your bag tightens, the fabric biting into your fingers.
You nod once, slow. “Didn’t know you two were close.”
She hums. “We’re getting there.”
Then, with a coy smile: “He asked a lot about you, though. Thought that was cute.”
Your chest constricts. The air feels thinner somehow.
“Anyway,” she says, skipping in front and spinning to fully face you, “it’s going to be such a fun night. You should wear that black slip dress—the one you wore to Jenna’s party? You looked so good in that.”
And all you could mutter in response was a short hum along with a smile.
•
The following days were as normal as they could’ve been. Well, aside from the fact that he has suddenly been everywhere.
At first, it was subtle.
A glimpse of him through the glass-paneled door of the editing lab, leaning over a student’s shoulder.
The sound of his voice drifting down the hallway—low, smooth, impossible to mistake.
Then you saw him again, this time in the courtyard. Talking to a group from the business department, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a coffee he barely drank from.
Word spread quickly.
“I thought he took most of his classes online?” someone whispered nearby.
“He does. No one ever sees him around.”
“Then why’s he here now?”
“Who knows? Maybe to complete his last courses before graduation?”
“He’s a business major, right?”
“Yeah, but like… old money business. Scary smart. The kind that makes you nervous to breathe too loud.”
You kept your head down, but your pulse never quite stayed still.
Because every time you caught sight of him, he never once looked your way—
And yet, you felt his presence like it was stitched into the fabric of your day.
He was too composed. Too polished. Too calculated.
And somehow, his silence was louder than if he’d cornered you outright.
“Just a mistake,” you mumble to yourself each time you see his figure waltz by.
But your quiet whispers to calm your nerves didn’t prove to be a very sustainable method.
Not when the universe seems hellbent on rubbing it in.
You see them together.
Once in the corridor outside the media building—her laugh echoing off the walls, his hand casually in his pocket, head tilted down to hear her better. They walk side by side, their pace easy, unhurried.
Michaela looks effortless next to him—bright-eyed, golden, her hand brushing his arm as she says something that makes him smile.
Not his usual smirk. Not the quiet, condescending curve of his mouth he wore like armor.
You stop in your tracks.
Just for a second.
Long enough for Michaela to spot you.
She waves. Cheerful. Unbothered. “Hey babe!”
He followed her gaze and landed on you. The smile on his lips curls up a little higher as you meet his eyes.
“Hello,” amusement coats his voice.
“Hi—”
“I’m probably not going to be free today for our usual hangouts,” Michaela cuts in, turning to you with an apologetic pout. “I asked Sylus to help with some of my work… You can hang out with Caleb by yourself, right?”
Before you can answer, she adds with a dramatic sigh, “Please tell him to chill and that I’m fine—just really busy. He’s been blowing up my phone non-stop these days.”
You force a smile, nodding once. “Yeah. Of course.”
She beams, already tugging Sylus further down the hall.
He casts one last glance your way.
A flicker of something in his eyes—teasing, sharp, unreadable.
As soon as you’re left standing there, caught in the space between their footsteps and your silence, your phone buzzes.
You glance down,
Caleb [4:28 PM]: where are you
Caleb [4:28 PM]: arent we having dinner today
Caleb [4:28 PM]: are you with her? she’s not answering my texts
Your stomach tightens.
You can still hear Michaela’s laughter fading around the corner, Sylus’s low voice murmuring something back.
Caleb [4:29 PM]: nvm
Caleb [4:29 PM]: i’ll find you myself
You don’t even remember agreeing to it.
One minute you’re reading Caleb’s texts with a pit in your stomach, the next he’s striding up to you outside the lecture hall—jaw tense, eyes scanning over your shoulder like he’s half-expecting Michaela to appear.
“She’s with him, isn’t she?” he asks, no greeting, voice clipped.
You blink. “Caleb—”
His expression shifts. He exhales, scrubs a hand through his hair, and forces a smile.
“Whatever,” he says, eyes softening as they settle on you. “Doesn’t matter. You’re here.”
And just like that, the edge in his voice fades.
“Come on,” he says, nudging your shoulder. “I’m starving. Let’s go grab something before I start chewing my own arm off.”
You hesitate for half a second, but he’s already walking ahead, glancing back to make sure you follow.
•
Dinner ends up being at this tiny place tucked behind the arts building—warm lighting, mismatched chairs, the kind of quiet hum that makes everything feel a little softer.
You sit across from him, arms tucked against your chest, still a little shell-shocked from everything.
He notices.
“You’ve been doing that thing again,” he says between bites. “Where your brain goes somewhere else and forgets to take your body with it.”
You snort. “And what thing are you doing right now?”
He leans back, exaggeratedly smug. “Being charming and irresistible, obviously.”
You roll your eyes, but the corner of your mouth lifts. Just a little.
When your food arrives, he pushes his plate toward you with a quiet, “Try this. It’s better than yours.”
You glance at him, suspicious. “You haven’t even tasted mine.”
He grins. “Exactly. That’s how confident I am.”
It’s silly. Stupid, even. But it helps. The knot in your chest loosens just enough to let a small laugh slip out.
And then—just as you’re mid-bite—his voice softens.
“Hey.”
You look up.
His eyes are steady now. No teasing. No act.
“I never really got the chance to say it properly,” he murmurs. “About what happened at the filming set. That night. Everything.”
The clinking of cutlery fades around you.
“I was inconsiderate,” he says. “I thought too little. Acted too harsh. ”
He looks down at his hands for a moment. “I overlooked your feelings. And I hurt you more than I meant to.”
You don’t know what to say.
So you just watch him as he finally lifts his gaze again, softer now. Warmer.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is… I’m sorry.”
The air between you stills.
“Can’t say I really enjoyed the stunt you pulled though,” he jokes.
The dinner continues quietly—less heavy now, more like the old rhythm you used to share with him. Caleb cracks a few jokes, pokes fun at your serious face, and makes exaggerated guesses about the lives of people at nearby tables. You end up laughing more than you expected to.
Then, as you gather your things to leave, he tilts his head toward you with a mischievous glint.
“One drink?” he asks. “There’s this quiet place nearby. They make the worst cocktails I’ve ever had in my life. Thought you’d like it.”
You roll your eyes. “Sounds irresistible.”
He grins. “Exactly.”
The bar turns out to be this cozy hole-in-the-wall tucked behind a bookstore, dimly lit with string lights that look like they’ve been up since 2003. There’s an old piano in the corner no one plays, and the bartender greets Caleb like he’s a regular—which is both comforting and mildly concerning.
The music’s soft. The booths are deep and worn-in. And somehow, the world feels smaller here.
Caleb orders for both of you, raising a brow at you across the table. “Just trust me.”
You don’t. But you drink it anyway.
“You’re smiling,” he points out, pleased with himself.
You arch a brow. “Must be the worst cocktail I’ve ever had in my life.”
He lifts his glass. “To consistent branding.”
You clink glasses, laughter warm between you.
The kind of warmth that sneaks up on you—gentle, nostalgic, easy.
And then, somewhere between the second and third drink, he leans back, eyes softer now, his playful edge melting at the corners.
“You know,” he starts, swirling what’s left of his drink. “I don’t really remember what my parents look like anymore.”
You glance over at him.
“You don’t talk about your family much,” you say gently.
He lets out a breath. It could’ve been a laugh.
“Don’t really have one,” he says. “Not really.”
He lifts the glass to his lips, but doesn’t drink. Just rests it there, like he needs something to hold on to.
“Thankfully, Michaela’s took me in,” he continues. “Thankfully…” he repeats, quieter this time.
Your mood sours from the mention of her name. Of course she would be mentioned.
“She has always been sick since she was a kid. ‘Cause of her bad heart.”
You stay quiet. Let him keep going.
Something in his voice says he needs to.
“It’s always been my responsibility to keep her safe,” he says, almost like he’s reminding himself. “Since we were kids.”
His fingers drum against the glass, slow and steady, like a heartbeat.
“And whenever I failed to do so… well…” he trails off, then smiles, a crooked, breathy thing that doesn’t touch his eyes. “It never really ended very well.”
You feel the weight of those words, the way he tries to tuck pain into them like they’re just another part of the joke.
“He used to remind me constantly… of my purpose…” Caleb mumbles, his voice slowing, slurring slightly. His words are slipping like his grip on the glass—loose, tired, too worn down to hold on.
You watch his eyes begin to dim, heavy with drink and something much older.
“You’re too drunk, Caleb,” you say softly, reaching out to steady the glass before it tips.
He blinks at you. Slow. Dazed. And then his lips part, just barely.
“That I’m just a stray…” he whispers, almost to himself. “If no one needs me…”
His gaze unfocuses for a moment. You don’t think he even realizes he’s still speaking.
Your breath catches.
He’s still smiling, faintly, lazily. But it’s the kind of smile that scourches your chest.
You slide your hand across the table, fingers brushing his. He doesn’t move.
“You should go home,” you murmur.
He doesn’t answer. Just leans further into his folded arms, the tension in his shoulders finally giving out.
You sigh, quietly.
The bar is warm, the night colder. And somehow, without much thought, you find yourself wrapping his arm around your shoulder, whispering half-hearted complaints as you half-drag, half-guide him out the door.
•
The days fly by like leaves lifted off the branches.
Nothing of the past has ever been mentioned ever again—the few days at the film set, the tense atmosphere between you and Michaela, nor the night Caleb slumped into your shoulder, murmuring half-truths through the haze of cheap liquor and old pain.
Classes resume. Group chats return to life. The cafeteria starts serving that awful tomato soup again. You slip back into the rhythm like nothing happened.
But the cracks are still there—just beneath the surface, waiting.
You’re sitting under the shade of a banyan tree behind the humanities building. It’s quiet, peaceful, a little breezy. Your lunch is balanced on your lap, half-eaten. Michaela plops down beside you with a soft “ugh” and a dramatic stretch.
“God,” Michaela says brightly, appearing at your side like she always does—seamlessly, like a breath of perfume. “He’s actually so funny once you get him to talk.”
You glance at her. “Who?”
She tilts her head, playful. “Sylus,” she says, drawing the name out. “He’s been helping me prep for the Q&A tomorrow. Said I needed to sound less ‘pageant’ and more ‘visionary.’ Whatever that means.”
Her laugh is breezy. Too light.
“Oh?” you respond, forcing a smile. “Sounds like you’re getting close.”
“Oh, it’s nothing serious,” she says quickly, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Coffee here, late-night notes there. He’s just so…” She trails off, eyes sparkling. “Interesting, don’t you think?”
You hum. Noncommital.
Michaela doesn’t seem to notice—or pretends not to.
She takes a sip of her drink, then suddenly perks up. “Oh! The premiere’s this Saturday. Are you ready?”
You blink. “Ready for…?”
“The spotlight, duh,” she grins, nudging your arm. “To see yourself on screen, see the scenes you played in come together with the background music. And to see your name in the closing credit!”
You roll your eyes, but it makes you smile. “It’s not that serious.”
“It is,” she insists. “You looked amazing, even in the trailer. You carried that café scene.”
You snort. “I said four words.”
“Yeah, but you felt those four words. I almost cried.”
You laugh together, and for a second—it feels real. Familiar. Like the last few weeks never happened.
“Have you picked an outfit yet?” she asks between bites of salad.
You shake your head. “Was just gonna wear something simple.”
Michaela gasps. “No. You’re not walking into an indie theater full of film nerds in ‘something simple.’ You have to look effortless. Like you’re not trying, but also like… if you were trying, you’d end worlds.”
You glance at her, raising a brow. “That specific, huh?”
“Always,” she says, eyes sparkling.
And for a moment, it’s just the two of you.
Two girls beneath a tree, laughing about dresses and dumb film boys and the weight of appearances.
It feels soft. Safe. Like how things used to be.
And it hits you with a quiet ache.
Because even now, part of you still wants to believe this friendship can survive what’s been done.
That maybe you haven’t already burned the bridge.
That maybe—just maybe—she hasn’t noticed the match in your hand.
The rest of the week passes in quiet, deliberate steps.
Classes blur. The campus grows louder, buzzing with exams and end-of-semester deadlines. Your name gets tagged once or twice in the group chat—reminders about call times, wardrobe, a blurry meme of someone joking about crying during the Q&A.
You try on outfits with Michaela after class, like you promised.
It’s surprisingly normal—her room filled with scattered hangers, half-empty iced coffees, the faint sound of a playlist humming from her speaker.
You laugh. You bicker. You twirl.
And then—Saturday arrives.
The day of the premiere.
It’s just past golden hour when you step out of your building, the sky painted in soft streaks of lavender and orange. The air is crisp. The kind that wakes you up and reminds you something’s about to happen.
The old theatre on 12th is just as Michaela described it—small, a little run-down, with velvet seats that creak and a marquee that flickers every other letter.
There’s already a crowd forming outside. Film kids in too-large blazers and thrifted dresses, professors dressed semi-formal but too cool to act like it, and the crew—all wide-eyed and excited, passing around programs and laughter.
The theater glows in the soft spill of marquee lights, buzzing faintly overhead as you approach, clutching your clutch tighter than necessary.
The car pulls up just as you step onto the red-carpeted pavement.
And then you see her.
Michaela steps out first, the silk of her silver dress catching the light like water. It slips over her frame effortlessly—cool-toned and reflective, like moonlight turned human. Her lips are painted a soft coral, her eyes dusted with shimmer, and her smile—bright, unbothered, breathtaking—lands like a punch to the chest.
Then comes Caleb.
He unfolds from the car in slow, unhurried movements, sleeves of his black dress shirt rolled neatly to his elbows beneath a tailored blazer, the collar unbuttoned just enough to suggest trouble. His hair is slicked back, not too perfect, and a hint of cologne catches the air as he leans slightly toward Michaela, saying something close to her ear.
You feel it instantly—the pull. The heat.
They look like they stepped off a magazine spread. Like they’re here to be looked at. Owned it. Earned it.
Your stomach twists.
But then her eyes find yours.
“Yn!” Michaela beams the second she sees you, waving you over like the oldest friend in the world. Her voice cuts through the crowd with effortless warmth. “You look stunning! Oh my God!”
You force a smile, walking toward her as she reaches out and takes your hand for a brief spin. “See? I told you that dress was the one. Absolutely gorgeous.”
“Thanks,” you murmur.
Caleb’s gaze drifts lazily toward you. His eyes widen slightly, just for a second—subtle, but there. And then that crooked, lazy smile of his crawls up his face like he’s trying not to let it show too much.
“Damn,” he mutters under his breath, voice low, just loud enough for you to hear over the soft chatter of the crowd. “You do look good today, shortcake.”
You don’t turn to look at him. You don’t smile. But your pulse stutters anyway.
Inside, the lights are low and flickering, casting everyone in gold.
You find your seats near the front.
You sit first.
Then Michaela slips in beside you, smoothing the back of her dress.
Then Caleb—his thigh brushing against hers, jacket folding as he slouches back with that usual too-cool ease.
And then—
An empty seat. Reserved with a single placard.
SYLUS QIN
You stare at it for a second too long.
The serif font. The clean white card. The space he hasn’t filled.
People slowly fill the theatre, and the chatter dies down as soon as the introducing speech starts. Cheers and laughter are exchanged as the producer welcomes everyone, and soon, lights begin to dim, the hush rippling through the room like a spell settling.
The first flicker of light sears across your vision—too bright, too sudden. You blink, disoriented.
The grainy opening shot bleeds onto the walls, painting everyone in uneven strobes of white and shadow. Your hands curl into the fabric of your dress.
Then you hear your voice.
Just a small line, off-screen. But it makes your throat tighten.
And then you’re there. You.
A glimpse of your face on camera—too quick, too exposed.
Your stomach flips. A cold rush spreads down your back. You shrink into your seat without meaning to.
The flickering continues—scenes switching with sharp cuts, too fast, too loud. Your eyes strain to follow. The glow of the screen presses against your skin like heat.
You feel it in your temples. In the base of your skull.
A thrum. A pressure.
You try to breathe slower.
But there you are again.
In the corner of the frame. Behind Michaela’s shoulder. Walking across the background, smiling as she delivers a perfect monologue.
You’re always there—but never really there.
Never centered. Never seen.
Just enough to anchor the shot.
Never enough to be remembered.
Your heart races faster.
You glance sideways—Michaela is watching intently, chin tilted just so, the soft rise and fall of her breathing unbothered. Her hand rests lightly on Caleb’s arm.
You try to focus on the screen, but the lights are too much now. The images change too quickly. Your skin feels hot. The sound dips and rises, warping in your ears. Laughter in the film echoes strangely, like it’s bouncing around inside your chest instead of the room.
You swallow down the tightness clawing its way up your throat.
Breathe.
You stare at your knees. At your folded hands.
The screen flashes white again—another cut. Another shot of Michaela framed in golden light, eyes brimming with perfectly timed tears.
And just behind her, out of focus—your figure. Barely lit. Barely there.
You curl your fingers into your dress and force yourself to stay still.
Because if you move—if you flinch, if you breathe too loud—it’ll feel too real.
Like this isn’t just a movie. Like your position in the film is just as it is in real life.
Your breath hitches.
Get through this. Just get through this.
But the room feels too full. Your lungs too tight. Your face too visible under the flickering screenlight.
So, with quivering hands, you quickly excuse yourself out quietly, muttering a soft “I need to use the toilet,” to Michaela.
Your fingers brush her arm as you squeeze past, knees knocking against the velvet seat in front of you.
You don’t look at Caleb.
You don’t dare.
The moment you reach the aisle, you bolt.
The darkness of the theater presses in from all sides, but the exit sign glows red—blessedly real, blessedly distant from the version of you being projected for everyone else to see.
You push through the heavy doors.
Out into the hallway.
Into the quiet.
It’s cooler out here. Dimmer. The hum of the projector muffled by layers of walls.
And still, your hands shake.
Your chest heaves.
You press your back against the corridor and squeeze your eyes shut, willing yourself to breathe again.
To stop hearing the lines you spoke, the laugh that wasn’t yours, the way you stood just out of frame.
You weren’t supposed to matter.
You weren’t supposed to be seen.
But seeing yourself just that—seeing yourself as nothing more than a narrative device—knocks all air out of your lungs.
And so you do what you do best in situations like these.
You walk.
Down the corridor. Past posters for old plays and peeling signs pointing to locked rehearsal rooms. The soft clink of your heels echoes against the concrete, sharp and rhythmic, the only sound in the hush that follows you.
Left. Then right.
You take the stairwell without thinking—something about the way the door hangs open, waiting.
Up.
One flight. Two.
You’re not counting. You’re not really anywhere.
Just moving.
The final door gives with a groan.
And then—open air.
The rooftop is quiet. Dimly lit by a few tired bulbs and the soft haze of city lights glowing from below. The wind brushes past your cheeks, tugging at the hem of your dress, the strands of your hair.
You inhale slowly—deeply.
The air fills your lungs and doesn’t choke. For the first time tonight, your chest doesn’t feel so tight.
You hug your arms around yourself, rubbing warmth into your skin as you move toward the edge of the rooftop. The wind tangles softly in your hair. The quiet is heavier than silence—it’s soothing. Honest.
The sounds of the premiere, the echoes of your lines, the weight of Michaela’s smile, Caleb’s lingering glances—all of it stays behind those concrete walls.
But the moment your shoulders finally drop—the tension unwinding from your spine like thread pulled too tight—
a voice slices through the quiet.
“The movie boring?”
You jolt.
And there he is.
Leaning lazily against the railing at the far edge of the rooftop, one hand resting in the pocket of his black slacks, the other loosely curled around a cigarette he hasn’t lit. The wind toys with the edges of his shirt, untucked and open at the collar, the soft fabric fluttering just enough to hint at the warmth beneath.
His silver hair—bright even under the dull rooftop lights—shifts with the breeze, strands falling across his forehead in that effortless way that should be illegal. The city glows behind him, casting shadows across the hard angles of his jaw, the sharp lines of his cheekbones. His eyes catch yours beneath long lashes, amused, unreadable.
He doesn’t move.
He doesn’t need to.
Just the sight of him—calm, crooked smile in place, posture loose like he’s got nowhere to be and nothing to prove—pulls something taut inside you all over again.
Sylus Qin.
Looking like trouble sculpted in moonlight.
And you walked straight into it.
Your voice stumbles out, more breath than word.
“What are you doing here?”
He doesn’t answer right away. Just tips his head slightly, eyes trailing over you in that infuriatingly slow, unreadable way of his.
“Didn’t realize rooftops were exclusively yours now.”
His voice is quiet but laced with amusement, like he’s already enjoying how thrown off you are. The wind picks up, tousling the silver strands of his hair. He doesn’t fix them. Just leans back against the railing again like this is his space now. Like you’ve wandered into his scene.
“I could ask you the same thing,” he adds, gaze settling on you. “Didn’t strike me as the type to abandon your own premiere.”
Your jaw tightens. “It’s not my premiere.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” he murmurs, eyes glinting. “You were in almost every shot. That little background smile of yours really carried the emotional arc.”
You shoot him a glare. He shrugs.
“Relax,” he says, voice dipping just enough to make your skin prickle. “I’m just making conversation.”
And then, without breaking eye contact, he pulls the cigarette back out from his pocket—like he knew exactly when to use it for effect.
You watch as he rolls it between his fingers, slow and practiced, before slipping it between his lips. His eyes flick downward, shadowed beneath dark lashes, as he flicks the lighter.
A soft click.
A brief spark.
Then flame.
He cups the light with one hand, shielding it from the wind, the gesture intimate in its precision. The flame catches the edge of the cigarette, a quick sizzle, and then a curl of smoke unfurls between his lips as he leans back—head tilted, silver hair brushing the collar of his jacket.
He exhales through parted lips.
Smoke spills from his mouth in a lazy stream, rising into the night air.
And for a moment, the whole rooftop smells like sin.
You swallow. Hard.
Because it shouldn’t look that good.
No one should look that good doing something so simple.
But he makes it look like poetry wrapped in gasoline.
Dangerous. Beautiful. Impossible to look away from.
He glances sideways, catching your gaze—then smirks around the cigarette.
“What?” he says, smoke curling past his teeth. “You want one?”
You ignore his question as you cross the distance between you with quiet steps, heels clicking softly against the rooftop floor, until you’re beside him.
Close, but not touching.
You lean forward onto the railing, elbows braced, eyes fixed on the world below. The city stretches beneath you—cars like fireflies, neon signs blinking against concrete, life spilling in all directions.
“Heard you’re pretty close to Michaela these days.”
Words slip out of your mouth before you could stop them—carried off too quickly by the breeze.
Sylus doesn’t respond right away. Just takes another drag, eyes still on the skyline, unreadable behind the soft glow of the city lights and the rising smoke.
“Is that what people are saying?” he asks, voice low, like he’s half-amused, half-bored.
You glance sideways at him, but his expression doesn’t shift.
“She’s been… talking,” you murmur.
He exhales slowly, smoke curling from the corner of his lips. “Yeah. She does that.”
There’s a beat of silence. The kind that leaves your thoughts too loud.
“She seems to like you,” you add, keeping your voice light. “Says you’re funny. Helpful.”
His gaze finally cuts to you, slow and sharp. An eyebrow arches. A slow, knowing smirk tugs at his lips.
“You sound jealous,” he says, voice dipped in something darker. Teasing. Dangerous.
Your breath falters.
“I’m not.”
He hums, low in his throat, clearly unconvinced. Then, he turns—just slightly—enough to face you, enough to make you feel it.
“Could’ve fooled me,” he murmurs, voice barely above the wind.
He leans in, just a bit. Not close enough to touch. Just close enough that the air between you shifts.
“I mean… if you wanted my attention,” his eyes drag slowly down your face, “you didn’t have to bring her up to get it.”
You blink. Hard.
The smirk deepens. He takes one last drag from the cigarette, flicks it to the side, and exhales—
Right past your shoulder, warm and slow, like it was deliberate.
Then he turns back toward the railing, arms resting casually as if he didn’t just turn your pulse inside out.
“Relax,” he says again, voice smooth and cruelly amused. “I’m just making conversation.”
“Fuck you and your conversations.”
“Language, princess.”
The corner of his mouth lifts, slow and smug, like he enjoys your bite more than he should.
He doesn’t look at you when he speaks next—just watches the lights below with that lazy, unreadable calm.
“The deal’s still on, by the way,” he says, almost offhand. “I don’t usually hold my deals this long.”
Your breath catches—but you don’t answer. Not immediately.
Instead, eyes still fixed on the city, you ask quietly,
“What’s it like?”
He glances sideways.
“To smoke,” you murmur, voice soft against the wind. “What does it feel like?”
That catches him off guard.
His smirk fades into something quieter—still sharp, but thoughtful.
He straightens a little, resting his elbows on the railing, eyes narrowed at the skyline like he’s remembering something he can’t touch anymore.
“It’s… warm,” he says eventually. “First few seconds burn. Then it’s just heat in your chest. Makes everything a little slower. A little duller.”
He glances at you again, eyes shadowed beneath silver strands.
“You’d hate it.”
And then, softer—
“You’d get addicted.”
You glance at him, the corner of your mouth twitching. “That confident, huh?”
His smile returns, crooked and slow.
“Always.”
Then—without looking away—he reaches into his pocket, pulls out the pack again, taps it once against his palm.
“Wanna try?”
You hesitate.
Just for a second.
The rooftop wind brushes your skin. The lights below blur like you’re not quite grounded anymore.
“…Okay,” you say finally, barely above a whisper. “Sure.”
His gaze lingers on you for a breath longer than it should—sharp, slow, searching.
Then, with practiced ease, he slips the cigarette between his lips, flicks the lighter, and inhales. The tip glows ember-red. Smoke curls around his face like it belongs there.
He steps closer.
Not fast. Not aggressive. Just… inevitable.
Until your backs are no longer parallel, but aligned.
Until his body is angled toward yours, his hand brushing the railing beside your arm.
Then he exhales—slow, steady—up into the air first, just to show you how.
And before your thoughts can catch up, before your pulse even finds a rhythm, his hand slides around your jaw. Gentle, but certain. Fingers curling under your chin, tipping your face up to his.
“Open,” he murmurs.
And you do.
He leans in—closer, closer still.
Not to kiss. Not yet.
His mouth hovers just a hair’s breadth from yours, and then—
He exhales.
Smoke floods from his lungs into yours, warm and heady and tasting like fire and him.
It hits you all at once—your lips parted against his, the heat of his breath rolling into your mouth, your chest, your nerves. Your hands grip the railing behind you, fingers curling tight.
And just as your knees begin to weaken, just as the smoke begins to burn—
His lips press to yours.
Not soft.
Not tentative.
It’s full, hungry contact—heat and pressure and something sharp beneath the surface. He kisses you like you’re something he earned. Like he knew this was coming the moment you stepped onto that rooftop.
And god, you let him.
His hand slips from your jaw to your throat, thumb resting lightly just beneath your pulse. You feel it hammering there, wild and fast. He deepens the kiss, mouth coaxing yours open further, tongue tracing the edge of your bottom lip like a tease, like a challenge.
You kiss him back.
Harder. Needier. Like you’ve been holding it in.
Like you’re finally letting go.
The smoke lingers between you. In your mouth. Your chest. The heat of it coils through your veins, makes the moment feel reckless, dangerous, electric.
When he finally pulls away, just barely, your lips are still parted—still chasing after him.
And Sylus—
He’s already smirking.
“Told you,” he breathes, thumb brushing your bottom lip.
“You’d get addicted.”
Your breath comes shallow. Foggy. Like you’re drunk—from the smoke. From him.
From the way his voice sits too low in your stomach, too warm in your throat.
You blink, dazed. “What the fuck was that?”
He laughs—low, rich, and dizzying.
“Still want to call it a mistake?”
You don’t answer. Can’t.
Not with the nicotine still curling in your lungs. Not with his breath still ghosting yours.
Maybe it’s the way the air thins between you again.
Maybe it’s the flush that rises to your cheeks when you look up at him and realize he hasn’t stepped back this time.
Or maybe it’s just that dangerous cocktail of heat and haze and the taste of sin still lingering on your tongue.
“I think,” you whisper, eyes flicking to his mouth, “you didn’t teach it properly.”
His gaze sharpens. That smirk falters, just for a second—enough to show the hunger underneath.
“Oh?” he breathes.
You nod. Barely.
He leans in. Slowly. Purposefully.
His hand grazes your waist, his breath brushing your lips—and just when you think he’s going to kiss you again—
He pulls back.
Barely an inch. Just enough to keep you chasing.
His smirk returns, lazier this time. Meaner.
“Didn’t think you’d beg so soon,” he murmurs.
You glare. “I didn’t beg.”
“Mm,” he hums, dragging a finger along your jaw, “Not yet.”
Then—finally—he kisses you.
But it’s slower now. Crueler.
His mouth moves with calculated ease, like he’s studying you. Like he wants to see how long you can last with the tension stretched this thin.
He barely gives you what you want—just enough heat to make your knees unsteady, just enough pressure to make you lean in.
When your hand fists in his shirt, tugging him closer, he lets out a quiet laugh against your lips.
“Impatient,” he mutters, and you feel it—low and hot—right in your throat.
And then he deepens the kiss.
Because he knows you’re done pretending you don’t want it.
And he’s done pretending he doesn’t love watching you unravel.
But in the middle of it all—his fingers sliding under your shirt, your hands fisted in the back of his hair, breaths shared like secrets—
It hits you.
A crack of clarity.
Sharp and sudden, cutting through the haze.
You pull back.
Not far, but enough. Enough to breathe. Enough to speak.
“Why are you doing this?”
His brows knit, just slightly. You feel the shift in him, the quiet tension settling beneath the heat.
You keep going. You have to.
“What will you get out of the deal?”
Your voice is low, but steady. The question tastes bitter in your mouth—maybe because you’ve been trying to pretend it didn’t matter.
But it does. It always did.
He watches you, smoke still clinging to his breath, his thumb pausing on your skin.
And for a moment, he doesn’t answer.
Like he’s deciding what version of the truth to give you.
Like he’s debating if you’ve earned it.
He fully pulls away, the warmth of his body gone in an instant.
You watch as he straightens his spine, smooths down his collar with one hand, runs the other through his wind-tousled silver hair—like he’s putting his armor back on. Like he needs the distance again.
“I’m not playing games,” he says.
His voice is low. Still sharp, but there’s something underneath now. Not heat. Not flirtation.
Something older. Quieter. Worn.
You cross your arms, still catching your breath. “Then what is this?”
He pauses.
You see the flicker in his eyes—a calculation, a hesitation. The part of him that always weighs what to say and what to bury.
Then his lips tug into that same maddening smirk.
“You’re just really pitiful,” he says, voice lazy with mock sympathy.
Your brows shoot up. “Excuse me?”
“Kind of like someone I knew,” he continues, like he didn’t just insult you to your face. His tone is still light, but something about the way he says it—too casual, too precise—makes you freeze.
He doesn’t elaborate right away. Just glances down at the city lights below, cigarette smoldering between his fingers again.
He takes one last drag from the cigarette before flicking it over the edge, watching the ember fall like a dying star.
Then he turns back to you—smirk faded now, voice lower, rougher. Real.
“Let’s just say—” he begins, eyes locking with yours,
“you get to use me to get whatever you want…”
A pause. A slow step closer.
“And I’ll use you to get whatever I want.”
He lets the silence stretch between you, lets the weight of the words hang there like smoke.
“Sounds fair?”
You don’t answer right away.
You just stand there—wind tousling your hair, the taste of smoke still clinging faintly to your lips—watching him.
Watching the way he doesn’t push.
Doesn’t ask again.
Just lets the offer hang in the air like a match waiting to be struck.
Your thoughts spiral—through the flickers of the film, the ache in your chest as you watched yourself play the shadow, Michaela’s bright voice, Caleb’s wandering gaze, Sylus’s mouth on yours, the weight of his hands, the things he said.
And the worst part?
The way all of it made you feel alive again.
Like something inside you had finally stirred.
Like you were tired of being careful. Tired of being quiet. Tired of waiting for someone else to hand you the pen to your own story.
You draw in a breath, meet his eyes.
“Fine,” you say, soft but steady.
“I’m in.”
His smile is slow. Pleased. Like he already knew.
But he says nothing. Just nods once and turns to leave, hands in his pockets, silver hair catching the rooftop light.
You don’t stop him.
You stay there for a moment longer, listening to the echo of your own heartbeat.
And when the rooftop door clicks shut behind him—
You’re still tasting sin.
Still thinking about the deal you just made.
And wondering who, in the end, will really get what they want.
#love and deepspace#lnds#lnds caleb#sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#sylus x reader#sylus x you#caleb#reader insert#sylus qin#lads sylus#sylus x mc#x reader#l&ds sylus#lads caleb#love and deepspace caleb#caleb x mc#caleb x you#caleb x reader#angst
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Hiiiiii xoxo
I love reading your sibling au’s with the drivers they’re so good !!
Would you be open to making one about max Verstappen but as the little brother ? :)
i’m always gonna come find you

Max Verstappen x older sister!reader
summary: after their dad (jos verstappen WHEN I FUCKING CATCH U) left max at the gas station for a ‘bad’ race, reader takes care of him.
warnings: bad dad. hurt little max.
A/N: this situation was perfect for this cuz every time i’m reminded of it, i feel the primal urge to (1) KILL JOS (2) protect little maxie. also i didnt remember when this happened to him so i just made him 13, reader is 18. ENJOY MY LOVVVEEE. i love u, thank u anon, VERY MUCH 🫶
p.s. i won’t do the home film thing for any other sibling au’s when it comes to other drivers cuz i have that reserved for lando IM SORRY!! it’s just special to that series, hope u can understand :)
༻ ❤︎︎ ༺
it was getting dark by the time she found him.
the gas station lights buzzed faintly overhead, a flickering, sickly kind of glow. max was sitting on the curb with his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around them, helmet still in his lap like he couldn’t bear to let it go. he looked so small like that. so young. like the little brother she sometimes forgot he still was.
she pulled into the parking lot too fast, tires crunching over gravel, throwing the car into park and practically flying out of it.
“max!” she called, voice already cracking with worry.
his head snapped up immediately, eyes wide — and the second he saw it was her, his whole body sagged, like he could finally breathe again.
she ran to him and dropped to her knees without thinking, gathering him into her arms. he didn’t even hesitate — just pressed his face against her shoulder, fingers curling tightly into the fabric of her hoodie.
“i’m sorry,” he mumbled, so quietly she almost didn’t hear it. “i tried. i really tried—”
“shh, hey, no,” she soothed, pulling back enough to cup his face in her hands. his cheeks were pink from the cold, and his eyes were glassy with tears he was trying so hard not to let fall. “none of that, okay? you don’t ever have to be sorry with me.”
he sniffed hard, ducking his head a little like he didn’t quite believe her.
she brushed his messy hair back from his forehead, feeling her heart splinter at the sight of him. thirteen years old and already carrying the weight of expectations he didn’t deserve. already blaming himself for things that weren’t his fault.
“dad was mad,” he whispered. it wasn’t really a surprise, but hearing it still made her chest ache. “he said i embarrassed him.”
her hands tightened on him instinctively.
“dad’s wrong,” she said firmly, voice leaving no room for argument. “you hear me, max? he’s wrong. you didn’t embarrass anyone. you raced your heart out. that’s what matters. and leaving you here—” she broke off, shaking her head. “there’s no excuse for that. none.”
max looked up at her then, cautious, like he was waiting for her to get mad too.
but all he found was her, steady and sure and warm.
“you’re not alone,” she promised, her voice gentler now. “i’m always gonna come for you. always.”
his lip wobbled. just a little.
then he threw his arms around her neck again, this time holding on even tighter.
she hugged him back just as fiercely, rocking him slightly like she used to when he was little and scared of thunderstorms.
for a long time, they just stayed there on the curb, wrapped up in each other while the rest of the world spun on.
finally, she pulled back enough to smile at him — a real smile, soft and proud.
“c’mon,” she said, standing and offering him her hand. “let’s get you home.”
max nodded, still silent, but he took her hand without hesitation, gripping it tightly like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.
and maybe it was.
maybe it always would be.
THE END :>
#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x female oc#max verstappen fic#formula 1#f1 fic#f1 x reader#max verstappen fluff#mv33#mv33 x reader#mv33 fic#mv33 imagine#mv33 x you#mv33 fluff#mv33 rb#mv1#mv1 x reader#mv1 fic#mv1 imagine#mv1 x you#mv1 one shot#mv1 x y/n#mv1 fanfiction#mv1 fluff#sibling au
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Tokyo Revenger Headcanons as lil treat (for me)
Romantic Fluff? gn!reader. all characters are 18+.
Characters: Mikey, Shinichiro, Chifuyu, Baji, Kazutora, Izana, Souya, Nahoya (this is partially self indulgent...) (
POV: they have a crush on you and you ask them if they want a "kiss". Their reactions when you hand them a hershey kiss.
Mikey (Manjiro Sano)
-the speed at which Mikey responds with a blunt "yes" to your question "do you want a kiss?" would be alarming to most.
-you dont notice, you know how enthusiastic he is about snacks. bro loves sweet little treats. (you are unaware of his feelings)
-when you hold out a piece of candy Mikey is stunned for a moment. he has to pause and recollect himself internally.
-part of him his still pretty excited because fuck yeah a sweet treat!!!!
-the other is like damn... i wanted a lil smooch.
-he sighs before taking the chocolate and looking at it for a few seconds.
-he then quickly kisses you on the cheek and nonchalantly throws the chocolate in his mouth.
-you look at him confused before touching your cheek.
you: what was that for?????
mikey: payback.
Shinichiro Sano
-this man looks at you with so much hope in his eyes as you ask "do you want a kiss?"
-after asking you out 20 something times, and being rejected each time, are you finally coming around?!?!
-that hope is quickly shattered when you hold up a chocolate kiss, all while still scrolling through your phone and not looking at him.
-this was actually worse than any other blatant date rejection he faced from you.
-he huffs in disappointment as he snatches the piece of chocolate from you and eats it.
-you notice how he snatches it and finally look at him, one eyebrow raised. you let out a light chuckle.
-he looks away from you so you don't see the light blush across his cheeks.
-bro can't catch a break here.....
Shinichiro: you do this on purpose, don't you?
you: yeah.
Chifuyu Matsuno
-dude has been in love with you forever and normally puts on this tough persona.
-this quickly fades when you do anything cute lol.
-he has the most flustered look on his face when you ask him "do you want a kiss?" and smile at him.
-losing his marbles internally, trying not to literally pass out.
-all he can stammer out is a weak "u-uhh... s-sure?"
-he closes his eyes and waits to feel your lips against his.
-is thoroughly confused when he feels a piece of aluminum wrapped candy.
-he looks at the kiss and is disappointed but not upset.
-he takes it and tries to compose himself while chewing it, he looks away as his cheeks are still tinted pink.
-you smirk and actually end up giving him a quick smooch on the cheek.
Chifuyu: can't do it anymore. i need to marry you right now...
you: i will allow you the pleasure of marrying me, but only if you answer my riddles three.
Chifuyu: on second thought
Keisuke Baji
-as you are sitting there eating chocolate kisses you turn to Baji and ask "do you want a kiss?"
-he eyes the bag of chocolates and responds "fuck yeah!" with that grin.
-you uno reverse this mf and give him a kiss on the cheek.
-he stares at you for a moment before glancing back and forth between you and the chocolates
-"dont fuck with me like that give me some damn chocolate" he says as he snatches the bag and now refuses to share.
-you keep trying to grab the bag back but he keeps holding it out of reach, you just pout and whine.
-eventually you have to play dirty and bite his arm.
-he is oblivious to his feelings until he yelps in pain but also... kinda likes it...
Baji: hold up... do that again.
you: um... why?
Baji: science... and stuff.
you: ...didnt you fail science.
Kazutora Hanemiya
-you love your personal space. Kazutora also loves your personal space.
-you have never known peace since meeting him, now is no different.
-you're eating a bag of chocolate kisses next to you alone while reading and sitting under a tree.
-this guy will pick up the candy and sit in its place, press his side firmly against you and place the bag in his lap.
-you give an annoyed sigh as you look at him before grabbing more candy.
-"whatcha reading?" he'd ask as he unwraps some pieces and tosses them in his mouth.
-"how to mind my business 101. h-hey!! i didnt say you could have some!" you say as you snatch the bag.
-you place the bag on your other side and take pieces from it.
-he doesnt like this bc tf??? sharing is caring bitch, whats yours is his and whats his is... well, also his. he doesnt share.
-he stares for a moment before using his hand to cup your cheek and make you face him.
-as you attempt to protest he gently kisses you on the lips, holding it for a few moments.
-as he pulls away and looks at your blushing face, he holds up the candy bag he snatched and holds it on the other side of himself and eats candy, like nothing happened.
-you huff a mumbled "i hate you"
-as you attempt to go back to reading your book, he places his free hand on your inner thigh.
-he likes to hold your attention.
you: can you go ten minutes without touching me???
Kazutora: can you stop reading glorified porn?
you: can you get your dad to love you?
Kazutora: ...
Kazutora: i'll get you.
Izana Kurokawa
-you love teasing and playing pranks, though they never go as planned with him.
-"do you want a kiss?" as you look at the man sitting next to you on the couch, his arm resting over the back of the couch as you watched a movie.
-"no, thanks." he says without sparing you a glance, your expression turns to confusion. "huh?"
-"i said no, thanks." you just stare at him for several moments disappointed and frustrated.
-he turns to you and smiles. "was that the wrong answer?" you nod.
-"was i supposed to say yes?" you nod once more with a smile.
-"is it so you can give me a piece of chocolate while im expecting an intimate moment?"
-you frown and slowly do a thumbs down and shake your head.
-you looked back to the tv and watched as you were disappointed.
-he sighs and decides to play along.
Izana: why yes, i would love a kiss.
you: yay!!! *hands him a chocolate kiss*
Izana: oh man, wasnt expecting this, i thought you were going to kiss me. on the mouth. perhaps with tongue.
you: booooo 👎🏻
Izana: also the chocolates half melted.
you: punishment.
Izana: for?
you: crimes against humanity.
Souya Kawata (Angry)
-this guy loves you so so so much and is so shy and soft about it. he doesnt know how or when to tell you.
-you know he does, you just give him time to get the courage to ask you out.
-you decide to play the prank, and you ask "do you want a kiss?"
-he immediately blushes, he looks so nervous and happy at the same time.
-the way he slowly nods with pure hope in his eyes and heart would give anyone a reason to live.
-you look into this literal angels eyes and cannot bring yourself to play the prank.
-if you broke his heart in this moment and made him even remotely sad, the guilt would eat you alive.
-you end up giving him an actual kiss on the lips, short, soft, and sweet.
-he is blushing so hard and looking at you like you are an angel from heaven.
-you look away flustered as you just handed him the whole bag of chocolates.
-you bought them for yourself and for the prank but now you have to hand everything you own to him.
Souya: uh... thanks...
you: dont mention it.
Souya: are you mad...?
you: i will give you every bit of my being right here and right now.
Souya: ...???
Nahoya Kawata (Smiley)
-Nahoya likes making playful jabs at you.
-you get mixed signals from him, does he wanna marry you or fist fight you?
-probably both.
-you werent paying much attention as he sat at the other end of the couch from you.
-you, him, and souya are roommates. you all hang out occasionally.
-you are peacefully eating chocolate kisses and chilling while playing on your switch.
-"are ya winnin, son?" he asks playfully.
-"yeah, dad." you retort.
-"thats 'daddy' to you, sweetheart."
-"and im about to commit patricide." you snip playfully.
-he chuckles before scooting to watch you play mario kart.
-"you suck at this game." "eat my foot" "not into that." "murder is still on the table here, Nahoya."
-he then starts tapping at buttons on your switch while you are playing.
-you end up losing and glare at him. he chuckles at you as if he won this round.
-you hold up the bag of kisses in an attempt to bribe him to leave you alone.
you: you want a kiss?
Nahoya: with or without tongue?
you: i bite.
Nahoya: kinky.
you: IM GOING TO KILL YOU
#tokyo manji gang#tokyo revengers#manjiro sano#mikey sano#mikey x reader#manjiro sano x reader#shinichiro sano#shinichiro sano x reader#chifuyu matsuno#chifuyu x reader#baji keisuke#baji x reader#kazutora hanemiya#kazutora x reader#izana kurokawa#izana x reader#nahoya kawata#nahoya x reader#souya kawata#souya x reader#tokyo revengers headcanons#headcanon#x reader#x y/n#reader insert
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Yep another miesrable "F my life" moment just hapened to me i basicaly walked 10 miles up the mountain to get to behind to the gas station to see my plug to buy me my with my favorite delta 8 pipe rocks and grab another 6er of tall boy steelies and i forgot i had my lit pre roll from brunch at the Country Grocerys buffet and i tripped on a congom on they away out and fell directly into a puddle of oil which normaly is fine when i fall and hurt myself ebcause nobody gives a fuck about me but the pants got stained wich is not unusual for me either but this time with motor guel or some shit but my pre roll was smoldering still and it set my ptants on fire so i dive in to the muddy ditch to put wet mut on my body to estinguish the fire and it and it shook the fuck up out of my steelos and the bursted all over me and it put out the fire but now i dont have any booze at all and my delta 7 "Fuck n chill" rocks burned tf up and i dont got nothgin left and my pants were all fucked up so i had to go home thru the woods wihtout them and it was so dark out and my peice of shit phone died even thouhg it was at 27% and i couldnt see shit and i was lost for along time so i decide to go to sleep in the woods to find my way back in day time + the animals sounds were high key scary as fuck so i cover myself in leafs and dirt and sticks and mud and other shit to hide from them and i woke up in the adfternoon still tired as fuck cuz i dont sleep good without some shit to put me asleep like my medicidne prescribed from Dr Maltlikker if U catch my drift lol or Dr thc Gummy lol if u get what im saying and these stupid little cunts with 22 rifles were plinking at me and tlaking about how they wanted to shoot my big ugly rusty head right in the head or to shoot a hole in my nippels so i got up and trioed to get them to stop i begged but htey just kept lauhging at me and shooting at me and it realy hurt my feelings so i pick one up and threw it into the sky then they all ran away screaming which is a classic "Dont fuck with honest joe,because he might try to hurt you or kill you if u piss him of moment" but the miracle of the story if that i went to walk 20 feet to findm y way out and i found my busted as shit old as fuck camry with a litle gas left ive been looking for it for a few days cuz i did a lil cruising when i was blackout and did lots of crazy shit i didnt remember at all but it was all on my story and 100 ppl were snaping and whatsapping me telling me to kill myself when i checked my huwawai thats how u know u had a crazy fcking night when u get that shit!!😂😂 but it had a litle gas left and it wasnt super busted so i was able do get back on I81 and soem stupid fcking crazy ass north carolina motha fuckas are driving insanly as fuck as usual and they keep almost hiting me while im just trying to read my fukcking phone to get rid of all these stupid messages and shit i still dont know how to use the app and its hard to type shit with my hands but eventualy i got back to my fuck buddys houe im crashing there even though he hates me now but i have nowehre left since ive been down on my luck and im realy not able to pay the bills no more with my online black jack/DarkRp trial moderator gigs and basicaly he owes me cuaz i got him 1 pack of menthols back when he was 19 and Sleepy Joe Brnadon banned them since "Freedom to do real shit" was aparently removed from the costitution when he was elected😂 but anywas now im sitting here bored as fuck with nothign at all do do cuz i got nothing to get fucked up wthi and i spent the rest of my meony on shit thats burned and blasted im realy worried i wont be able to sleep tongith since i cant get fucked up and thats when the demons starts to flow in my head i might do something realy bad to myself like pluck out my screws or some shit if u care abotu my which u probably dont my cashuapp is $pjack9 im desprate for another bottle to numb my p[ain away
Pic of my ride when i found it thankuly it still had gas😋
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"he daydreams about different scenarios he could weave for you, maybe dangerous maybe just humiliating, that he could then rescue you from so that you see him as your saviour"........................


HI SUNNY IM HERE TO BOTHER U ABOUT BLEACH AGAIN :333 ...... do u perhaps have thots about urahara..... whats he like whats he into what kind of man is he....... ur beautiful mind never disappoints me
HIIIII i’m always down to yap about bleach 🫡 LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT URAHARA
i genuinely think this man was the blueprint for gojo (or just the blueprint in general for the goofy powerful sensei trope) so some of gojo's characterization can fit with him BUT what makes urahara stand apart imo is his intelligence and manipulation. he’s soo good at reading people and understanding their wants and motivations and he hides how calculated he can be behind his easy-going attitude. there are a couple of points in the story where he deliberately manipulated the main characters by doing and saying whatever he needs to get them to do what he wants (he has apologized before and come clean about it after the fact but not always.) urahara is always looking waaaaay into the future and taking whatever steps he needs to take to get there. he does have limits though. he knows when he’s going too far and everything he does is generally for the greater good not just his own personal agenda. very much the embodiment of “the ends justify the means.”
SOOO if we take that and try to guess how he would be in a romantic relationship i think urahara kinda clocks it immediately when you start to feel attracted to him and even worse he knows the second that that initial attraction turns into genuine feelings. i think it could go either way from there depending on what he wants from you. if he’s down for a fling but nothing more i don’t think he’ll change much about himself and if you end up in his bed then it happens. he’s not going to use your feelings against you to get you to sleep with him when he knows he doesn’t want the same thing you do but he’s also not going to stop anything from happening like some moral knight. he’s of the opinion that you’re an adult with your own will and if you wanna have some fun then he’s more than happy to give it to you. (munch enthusiast btw this man eats pussy from the back)
BUUUUT if urahara does want to be in a relationship with you i think everyday is a struggle for him. because he knows. he knows all the words he could whisper in your ear to make you his. it’d be so easy too. a couple of promises about how he won’t treat you the way others have, soothing insecurities you never even told him about, giving you the attention you obviously crave from him. he daydreams about different scenarios he could weave for you, maybe dangerous maybe just humiliating, that he could then rescue you from so that you see him as your saviour. he could have you so easily but he won’t do a thing because he thinks you deserve a genuine love, a true love. so he’ll draw that line for himself and change exactly nothing about how he interacts with you.
it sucks for you in both situations cause you can't tell how this man feels for you at all. you get surface level flirting and some touchiness and that’s it. if you two do end up in a relationship, you’re the one who’s gonna have to initiate a lot of it and do a lot of the heavy lifting at first. it’s only when urahara is sure that the relationship was organic and he can look himself in the mirror and be sure that he didn't manipulate you into being with him that you get his full authentic self.
anyway i love him here are some manga panels that itch my brain



#SUNNY........ SUNNY WHEN I CATCH YOU SUNNY#dude???? ok first off i love u so bad ur always here for me what if i explode and die fr kjdfhsjk BUT I AM GONNA LOSE IT#SECOND. THE WAY IDEK HIM BUT . THE DESCRIPTIONS OUGHGHG MY GODDDD ITS LIKE U CATERED THEM TO ME NOT U KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT I WANT#THATS SOO CRAZY#im insane abt the scruff and u know that so obvi i was Looking.......... BUT I DIDNT KNOW IT'D BE THIS GOOD??????? .#UR MIND IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MIND IN THE UNIVERSE GODDDDDDD#he sounds so sexy and so interesting AND U SAYING HES LIKE GOJO has me sdkjfhhjdk#he also sounds like he has some form of commitment / abandonment issues which.... is insane#im genuinely feeling so insane rn because sounds like the combination of gojo and oliver btw . like this is how he sounds like to me im#like he sounds super fucking weird.... all that abt manipulation huh........ my ears r so perked up#IM GONNA START BLEACH FOR REAL FOR REAL LIKE I CANT DO THIS U BASICALLY COMBINED BOTH TO ME RN SKDJHF HOLY#i genuinlly cannopt present anything coherent in return im like losing my mind i always take psychic damage when u indulge me its soo bad#EATS IT FROM THE BACK U SAY...........#'good at reading people and understanding their wants and motivations and he hides how calculated he can be behind his easy-going attitude'#<- LIKE THIS IS SO INSANE I FEEL SO INSANE KSDJHFJK#LIKE u know who this sounds like.........imfdkjhgfg#THE COLOR PALETTE AND THE SCRUFF... u know exactly i KJDSHG#he also kinda sound so ;-----; like is he okay........ v_v i will show him love hes so kitty#i need to lay down i cant handle this#urahara#bleach#sunny <3#I LOVE U ...........#peak post#also those panels i feel sooo deranged right now oh my god..
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I saw your earlier post on Platonic fics and Im a sucker for them so here u go : father figure stanford headcannons maybe takes place after he comes back from the portal, reader is an adventurous spirit that works at the shack and maybe secretly helped stan get his brother back? Idk im just throwing things here lol

You Know I Love You Still
Stanford x daughter!reader
💗 stanford dad hc!!
💗 i literally saw the request it and started writing and got a lil carried away 😭 its like half story half hc? if that makes sense
💗 requests r so open rn! i def dont have any fav requests… (anything platonic or familial will be the first ones i write i LOVE those types of requests)
💗 the age of the reader is young like 16/17? ik that lowkey contradicts with the time line but wtv STANFORD DAD HC!!
💗 it’s a little bit of everything? like it’s not only just reader and stanford, the twins r also included in some scenarios and also stan
💗 a big happy family 😭
💗 fem reader gulp i completely didnt realize until i was done that i used she/her when referring to the reader
💗 next fic will use gender neutral pronouns I SWUEAR!!
💗2k words
💗 i apologize for rhe misspell and mistakes i didnt catch in advance
Working together with your Uncle Stan to build the portal to bring your dad back to the right dimension was tiresome. Nights were sleepless and many of them were spent in the underground lab, where you and Stan did everything possible to assemble the portal. Trying to keep such a secret away from the twins and Soos was unexpectedly hard. The knowledge of hiding someone so vital to you and to your Uncle Stan was weighing down on you and him. Then came the day where his awaited arrival was promised. You could barely sleep that night. You thought of so many different possibilities and scenarios of how you would greet him. Would he remember you? Did he ever miss you? Does he even love you?!
The next day came in like a tornado and before you knew it, you were protectively standing in front of the button; trying your absolute hardest to prevent the twins from pressing the button.
“Why do you guys want to stop the portal so badly!” You yelled over the loud swirling wind that emitted from the portal. “Because it’s dangerous!” Dipper retorted, using his arm to shield him from the debris whizzing past him. “G-Grunkle Stan isn’t who he says he is!” Dipper said, stepping closer to you.
“Whatever you guys saw or heard isn’t what you think it is! Please, you need to believe me.” You begged, your eyes brimming with tears. You’ve worked so hard to get this portal up and running and you weren’t going to let Dipper or anyone stop you from being able to see your dad.
Soos came up from behind and wrapped his arms around you. “I’m sorry, dude.” He picked you up and took you away from the button. “Soos, no!” You thrashed around his hold. You pound your fists against his arms, hoping it’ll loosen his grip on you but nothing you did worked. No matter how much you begged and fought against him, he didn’t budge. He just held you closer to him, muttering ‘I’m Sorry’ under his breath.
“This all stops now!” Dipper raised his hand, palm flattened out, ready to push the button when Stan appeared at the doorway. “Don’t touch that button!”
He’s hunched forward, hand leaning on the frame of the doorway as he pants. Relief washes over you upon seeing Stan. Silence fills the room for a minute and all you can hear is your heart hammer against your ribcage. Stan walks towards Dipper, beckoning him to not press the button.
“If you just let me explain—“ He’s cut off by his watch repeatedly beeping. Suddenly the ground begins to shake.
The portal powers up and the circle enlarges. The electricity spazzes and travels throughout the room, creating streaks of electrical power. Your feet lift off the ground and soon everyone’s floating up in the air. The wind is fierce and it’s whipping through every direction, pushing you towards the wall.
Dipper yells at Mable to turn off the portal before it causes anymore damage. She tugs herself closer to the button using a stray cable and while she wraps herself around the neck holding up the button, Stan is begging her to listen to him and to not press the button. He’s soon tackled by Soos who pushes him away from Mable. They all fight with each other and you’re watching with a bated breath.
The portal pulses with power, sending you back first into the wall. Stan and Dipper bicker back and forth and Mable is torn with the decision of either believing her brother or her Grunkle. She lowers her hand, eyes closed and you're almost convinced she’s going to press the button when she lets go of the button. She floats up with her arms raised. “Grunkle Stan, I believe you.” She says.
“Mable, are you crazy?! We’re all gonna—!”
The world flashes white and you're immediately knocked out. You awaken to yourself plummeting face first down to the floor. You groan, pushing yourself up with one hand and the other wiping off the dust on your face. Looking around you can see your family scattered around the room, each of them slowly waking up from whatever happened and stumbling back to their feet.
Your head quickly whips towards the portal and your heart lurches into your throat upon seeing a figure step out of it. He stands still, staring straight ahead as he takes off his hood and goggles. And what hid behind them was your father.
After the initial shock of meeting the one behind the three books and the reveal of him being related to Stan was pushed aside, you presented yourself with the help of Stan. “H-Hi, Dad.” You awkwardly greet yourself.
His eyes stop on you and he freezes, eyes blown wide and mouth slightly ajar. He takes a minute to process the absurdity of the situation before he’s snapping back to consciousness. He blinks once, his mouth stuttering as he finds the right words to say. He then blinks again, stepping a cautious step towards you. Your name softly spills out of his mouth and your heart soars hearing your Dad finally utter your name again.
You take a step forward and then another and another until you’re face to face with him. Being closer to him allowed you to see how much he has aged since the last time you saw him. “Dad…” You whisper, throwing yourself into him.
A light wheeze escapes his mouth from the sudden impact of your body crashing on him. Once he recovers, his arms are quickly wrapped around you, hugging you with so much warmth and love you almost sobbed right then and there.
He snuggled his face against your hair, breathing in your familiar scent he missed so dearly while he was away. “We have so much to catch up on.” You say so quietly that he almost lost your words if it wasn’t for you being directly near his ear. He hums in affirmation, cherishing the long awaited reunion with his daughter.
“I feel like this is another part where one of us faints again.” Mable says in utter disbelief at the scene that unfolded in front of her. “Ohoh!” Soos laughed out. “I’m so on it, dudes.” As if on command his eyes roll to the back of his head and he faints flat on his back.
HEADCANON TIME!!
• You weren’t really expecting to talk to him much due to Stan wanting to talk to his brother, but after their fight, he came looking for you. When he found you, you were sitting on the couch that was outside on the porch. You were reading a book you recently purchased from the bookstore. Nose deep in your book, you failed to realize Ford standing beside you. His hands were shoved in the pockets of his trench coat. Quietly he asked, “Is there room for one more?”
• The night was spent with the two of you getting to know each other. From your favorite color to your favorite show, what food you like to eat and so on. Ford wanted to fully understand and know you as a person. He wanted to make up all the years he lost with you.
• The next day, you awoke to the smell of your favorite breakfast food being cooked. With haste you pushed your blanket off of you and slipped on your slippers and sped off into the kitchen where Ford was buttering the pan. He looked over to you and flashed you a smile. “I made you your favorite.” He said, motioning over to the table where he laid out your breakfast. “You didn’t have to do this.” You scratched your cheek, a small laugh of surprise leaving you. “I’m just doing what I always dreamed of doing.” He shoveled out his breakfast onto his plate using a spatula. “How’s the food, kiddo?” He asks, placing the pan and spatula on the dirty side of the sink. “Actually pretty good for someone who hasn't been in this dimension for over a decade!” You jest, taking another delicious bite from your breakfast. Ford jokingly rolled his eyes, ruffling your hair as he walked past you and sat down on his chair. “Already poking fun at me.” He said, shaking his head.
• Stanford knew he had to focus on his projects, he had so many things he left unfinished that he'd been dying to get his hands on the minute he stepped foot into his dimension. But he couldn’t seem to pull himself away from you. He loved seeing you interact with the twins, he loved watching how pieces of his personality shone through you. Like the way you’re so meticulous with where you put things, or how you were forever curious about the things around you, and even the abundance of questions you’d mutter to yourself as you discovered something new. That’s all of him right there, in front of him and he couldn’t grasp such a thought that you were his!
• He finds himself gazing upon baby photos Stan took of you when you were younger. Even if he’s angry at his twin currently, he’s forever grateful that he documented such beautiful memories in a scrapbook. “Y’know, I used to tell stories about you to her.” A shriek leaves Ford. He jumps forward, the scrapbook tumbling down his lap and onto the floor. “You idiot! Be careful.” Stan sneered, kneeling down to the floor to pick up the scrapbook. “Stanley!” Ford leans his head back, trying to regain his composure. “You scared me!” He says. “Yeah, yeah. I know.” Stan waves him off, grabbing the scrapbook and tucking it in between his arms. They stand in awkward silence, eyes darting around the place uneasily. “Did…” Ford starts, shattering the silence. “Did she like the stories you told of me?” Stan smiles fondly, nodding his head. “She loved them. She thought you were some stupid amazing superhero, no matter what I told her.” Ford furrowed his brows. “Wait, what do you mean by no matter what you told her?” Stan nervously laughed. “Hey, why don’t you keep looking at these photos! Wait here, look at this one. Haha! She’s trying to eat her toes, isn’t that adorable?” “Stanley.”
• Outings between the two of you were very common. He loved being tugged around the town of Gravity Falls by you as you pointed at various different shops and locations. You told him the reasons why you hated them or loved them, and some were tied to stories that happened within the summer. He seriously questioned how you and the twins survived so many times where you were just so close to death. The mall was a place where you and him resided the most. With the money he took from Stan, he paid for almost everything you wanted. Entering the shack with so many bags was a shock to everyone. “Woah! Did you buy the whole mall?” Mable jokes, grabbing one of the bags to help you with the load. “Basically,” you laughed, instructing Mable to rally Soos and Dipper to have a little haul of what you bought. Stan watched with a raised brow as you stumbled into the living room with Mable following closely behind. “Where did you get all the money to buy her all of that?” Stan asks. “Just stole some money from some hobo.” Ford said, walking into the living room to join in on the haul. Stan didn’t understand what he said and opened the cash register. When he saw all the money he had stored the day before gone, it all clicked.
• Adventures out in the woods is a must. Gathering the twins and your dad, all four of you venture out into the woods in hopes to find something new. “Why couldn’t Grunkle Stan tag along with us?” Mable asked as she kneeled down to pluck a flower from the dirt. “Because he’s being a wet towel.” Dipper muttered, scribbling down a rough drawing of the flower Mable was picking in a book you bought him. “So what kind of anomalies you three stumbled upon?” Ford questioned. You and the twins began to dump everything onto him, from when you started seeing them to when Dipper and Mable came. Ford couldn’t truly focus on what they were saying, mostly because it was a jumbled excited mess of words, but partially because he was astonished with the trio in front of him. They went through so much and yet they’re still so headstrong. He could definitely see a little bit of him in Dipper and Mable.
• Stan would find you and Ford fallen asleep on the couch or in his lab, all huddled up together and completely knocked out. Snores filled the room and he found it amusing that you and him both snores the same. Videos and photos were definitely taken by Mable.
• Ford would tell stories of his adventures in another dimension to you. Stemming from how he started from the ground up to him getting banned from many other dimensions for stealing parts. “You’re not so different from Uncle Stan,” You laughed, shaking your head. “What! It was only a few…hundred dimensions.”
• There’s times where you’d wake up in a cold sweat, afraid that your Dad finally coming back was just a painful dream your brain played on you. But when you would get ready to find him, you’d step on his stomach or back. “Ough!” Ford groaned out in pain. Being suddenly woken up from his sleep, he sat up, looking around confused. “What are you doing sleeping on the floor?” You sat back down on your bed, pulling the blankets over you. “Is there a problem with me sleeping on the floor?” Ford asks, looking at you with squinted eyes. “No, no.” You laid back down on your bed. “Go back to sleep. I’m better now,” You say, somewhat amused with Ford sleeping on the floor beside your bed. “Goodnight, I love you.” You brush your fingers playfully across his face to annoy him. He shoves your fingers away from his face, huffing out. “Goodnight,” He shuffles to his side, looking up to you with a small smile. “I love you more, kiddo.”
#stanford pines x reader#stanford pines x daughter#stanford pines x child#stanford pines#stanford pines x daughter! reader#stanford pines x child! reader#stanley pines x reader#stanley pines x daughter! reader#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls#dipper pines x sibling!reader#mable pines x sibling!reader#dipper pines x reader#mable pines x reader
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Autumn Leaves
pairing: daniela avazini x fem!reader
wc: 18k+
req: yes
warnings: angst, fluff, no happy ending, blood, mentions of throwing up, medical stuff, major character death
a/n: here is the long awaited dani angst!! tbh this was actually not the first idea, that idea will come out eventually but i want to do it on my own time. also this heavily inspired by mr. plankton, great kdrama yall should watch!! anyways enjoy and feel free to cuss me out in my comments or inbox :D (also if u see any typos no u didnt.)



The white noise machine whirs loudly as it attempts to drown out the noise in and out of the office. It fails as the ticking of the clock on the wall practically fights against it. You scratch at the seam line of your jeans coinciding each scratch with the tick of the clock. By the fifth tick a pain courses through your brain settling itself at the back of your head. Your fingers pause its picking before making its way to the nape of your neck where it tangles itself into your hair.
Your hand slowly pulls as you try to offset the constant ache with a new sudden one. You’re disrupted by the other door in the office opening, it closing again when the person steps in. The doctor stands behind his desk, pulling his chair out as he sits down, the creak when he sits makes you wince.
He offers you a small smile as he smooths out the manila folder, a nervous tick you presume. “I’m Dr. Harrison. Do you know what brought you here?”
“Umm..” You trail off, exhaling as you try to rack through your memory. You shake your head as you realize you have no memory of the day. “The last I remember I was standing in line to pick up breakfast for me and my friend and then I was in the hospital being told to come here.”
The doctor nods before sighing softly. “You fainted. You were sent here because of your MRI results.”
You nod slowly before lifting an eyebrow slightly, laughing a bit. “MRI? Isn’t that the brain scan thingy? Seems a bit too serious for a simple fainting, I mean don’t you guys usually just give someone crackers and water before sending them on their way?”
“Usually that’s after the scan. It’s standard protocol for a fainting accident after all fainting could be an indication of something more serious.”
Nodding you fidget slightly in your chair. “Well I’m ready for my water and crackers.” The words don’t make the man laugh, instead he offers you a somber frown. He opens up the manila folder pulling out what seemed to be a x-ray scan. A light turns on, the small x-ray board on his desk gaining your attention. He places the scan on it and looks at you. Your brows furrow as you lean forward trying to decipher what you were looking at, drawing a blank, you turn to him. “What is this?”
He releases a soft sigh, a grimace overtaking his features and you can practically see the pity in his eyes. He leans forward, a pen in his hand as he points to one of the many white clumps on the scan. “When we scanned your brain we found these clumps, eight to be exact. These clumps are your brain cells essentially tangling with each other, view them as rubber bands around a watermelon, the more they tangle the greater the pressure until they ultimately burst.”
The doctor continues talking but it grows muffled, nausea rising in you as you begin to fidget in the chair. Your hands shake as you rub them against your thighs, the material of your jeans rough against them. You attempt to catch the breath that seems to want to escape you. Bringing your hand up you rub your thumb knuckle against your eyebrow, a habit you’ve had for years.
“How long?”
It’s clear he wasn’t expecting the interruption as he clears his throat. “Two months.”
Your heart drops.
“Two months?”
“If I’m being optimistic, yes.”
It grows silent due to his words, you bury your face in your hands as you nod into them. You drag them down your face and breathe out to calm yourself. “Is there anything we can do?” Your words come out muffled due to your hands, but the doctor still hears you as he shakes his head.
“Sadly nothing. The best I can do is give you some medicine to ease any pain that will arise.” A tear makes its way down your face, its path cut off by your fingers. The man offers you another small smile as he pushes his chair back, pulling some things out of a drawer. He closes the drawer and pulls himself back into the desk, the creak of the chair sending a pang of pain to your head. You watch as he writes on a paper, sliding it over to you you can see it’s your prescription. Your hands shake as you grab it, as you pick it up you notice a pamphlet under it.
Looking up at him you tilt your head in confusion.
“It’s a pamphlet detailing our end of life program here at the hospital. Nothing has to be decided now of course, but just for your consideration.” You can’t help the scoff that slips out of you, stuffing the script in your pocket you stand abruptly.
“Am I free to go?” The man nods and you don’t give him a chance to speak once more, making sure to leave the pamphlet on purpose.
It’s raining when you get outside and it takes everything in you to not go back into the hospital and cuss them out for bringing you to a hospital twenty minutes away from the cafe, but you decide to not test your already poor luck. It takes you about an hour to make it to the cafe, having to stop to take shelter under a store’s doorway, you release a sigh when you notice that you at least had remembered to keep the top on. Though your gratitude would prove to be fruitless as you yourself are soaked. You wince as you sit down, the leather uncomfortable against your wet skin.
It takes you another hour to get home, stopping to grab your new medicine and food that you knew you would be asked for once you got home. Opening the front door to the studio apartment you are greeted with harsh clicking and curses. The scene isn’t uncommon to you, a smile making its way to your face as you take off your shoes and hear the banging of a desk. Shutting the door softly you walk deeper into the space pausing as you watch Yoonchae play a game.
You met, or really found, Yoonchae when she was only fifteen. Your office had been broken into, when you found her she wasn’t attempting to rob you, but instead just eating the food you had stored there. The sight of her reminded you of well, you. She was terrified when she caught sight of you, begging you to not call the police. After reassuring her, you sat her down and talked to her, it was then you found out she was an orphan and was living on the streets. It didn’t take a lot for you to decide to take her in, offering her not only a home but a job working with you and your vaguely illicit business.
That was two long years ago, and she had become a sister to you. Your heart aches at the realization that soon you would have to leave her. A lump forms in your throat at the thought of not being there for her, your only comfort being she would turn eighteen before you go, ensuring that she wouldn’t have to worry about social workers or anything of the sort. You’re pulled from your thoughts from a sudden shout, shaking your head at the foreign language that spills from her lips.
You approach her as quietly as possible, waiting until it seems something important is happening on the screen before placing the bag of food in her line of sight. She shrieks before hitting your hand to get you to move. You laugh as she panics, when she dies she turns to you quickly. “What is your problem?” She shouts at you.
Her anger only makes you laugh louder as you place the food on the desk next to her. “I think you’re back again.” You say while pointing towards the screen as your laughter dies out. Your words make her turn back towards the screen quickly. As she plays you take it as your chance to run to your room. Grabbing fresh clothes you grab the pills out of your pocket, the weight of their meaning heavy as reality hits you once more.
Untwisting the cap you grab a bottle of water that was on your nightstand and take a couple pills out. When they’re down you hide the bottle in a drawer and head to take a shower.
Once finished you place your soaked clothes in the dryer and head back to the living room throwing yourself on the couch. You watch as Yoonchae turns her chair to face you, french fries sticking out of her mouth. She tries to speak but her words are muffled making you roll your eyes.
“Can you act like a normal human being and speak after you eat?” She flips you off before swallowing her food, making sure to exaggerate the action to irritate you.
“Satisfied?” You nod, which makes her roll her eyes. “Where the hell have you been?”
You prop your head on your hand and shrug. “Out.”
“Well no duh smart ass.” You reach out and slap her knee, smirking when she yelps. “What was that for?”
“No swearing.” The younger groans before leaning in and shoving you making you laugh.
“Oh yeah, your girlfriend showed up again today.” You groan moving your hand away from your head, letting it fall on the couch pillow, hoping laying there will somehow suffocate you. Turning your head you look up at her.
“What did she want?” She hums as she turns towards her desk, looking through a stack of paper. She exclaims when she pulls out a bright sticky note, rolling next to you, a smirk is apparent on her face.
“She wants you to steal her away from her wedding.”
At the mention of a wedding you push yourself up. “Someone’s marrying her crazy ass?” Yoonchae nods as she turns back to her computer, opening what seems to be another game. You reposition yourself to sit instead of laying, grabbing a pillow and laying it on your lap. Yoonchae immerses herself in the game and you watch her. You take in this familiar setting, a wave of agony washes over you as you realize that this scene isn’t forever. You shake your head to clear yourself of the thoughts before they could spiral, you sigh softly as you start to speak. “Hey Yoonchae, what would you do if you found out you were going to die?” She didn't respond at first, but you knew she heard you. Her head tilted and her brows furrow, she pauses her game and spins towards you. She hums softly, clearly in thought.
“Well, how long would I have?”
“A couple months.”
She nods slowly before answering, “Well I think I’d find my biological parents first. Then I’d get revenge on everyone who wronged me.” She says this in a tone to show she’s mimicking a villain, making you both laugh. As you both relax she breathes out. “And when I’m in my last moments I’d ask everyone for forgiveness. I’ve wronged many people that deserve an apology from me.” You take in her words with a nod, simply messing with the material on the pillow. “What about you, what would you do?” She asks.
You hum, pretending to think about it though in reality you were trying to find an answer that wouldn’t give off your current predicament. “Well,” you start, settling on piggybacking off her answer, “My parents are dead. I’ve wronged more people than I have been wronged, so I guess I’d have to go down the forgiveness route.”
The younger nods before turning back to the computer, unpausing her game.
That night you find yourself struggling to sleep, the weight of reality crushing you. You were dying, soon too. Yoonchae’s words echo in your mind, one in particular — forgiveness.
The truth was you weren’t a very good person, sure you weren’t terrible, but you’ve hurt enough people that the news of your death would probably make them happy. Your jaw clenches as you attempt to sort through your mind to remember their names, not knowing whether to blame your fading memory on your brain quickly deteriorating or just poor genetics taking effect.
Your brain somehow musters up five names, but it doesn’t give you much relief as you realize you would now have to come up with five very different ways to ask for forgiveness.
When your brain has a flash of pain you knew it was a task for you tomorrow. As you try to let sleep take you your phone buzzes on the nightstand and you scold yourself for forgetting to turn off the ringer. Picking up your phone you see a notification, one you have no reason to be getting, announcing auditions being held in New York for backup dancers for an artist tour.
You hum taking it in, your brain working overtime as a plan appears in your head, placing your phone back on the nightstand you knew what you were doing tomorrow.
You wake up the next morning with your head in a porcelain bowl, your body rejecting everything it has ever eaten, which wasn’t a lot, learning you’re going to die tends to ruin one’s appetite. When you’re confident you are good to move, you push yourself up but find yourself grasping onto your sink counter. You close your eyes as your head pounds and the room spins around you.
The cool marble of the counter does little to ground you, and you feel as though you’re floating until there's a knock on the door. You hold your breath, trying to ease the sharp pain that each knock brought.
“You okay?” You feel your heart drop at Yoonchae’s voice, you didn’t want her seeing you like this. With a newfound strength you rush to clean up your mess, when you do you turn on the sink brushing your teeth, wincing as the taste of mint brings back nausea. Finishing you turn off the faucet, place your toothbrush back and inhale as your now shaky hands grab the doorknob.
You try to compose yourself before opening the door to see a very concerned Yoonchae staring back at you.
“Hey.”
Yoonchae raises an eyebrow at you. “Hey? You good?” You nod in response as you pray she doesn’t notice the shiver that racks over your body, she doesn’t but you can tell she doesn’t fully believe you. “You sure?”
“Yup. Pancakes for breakfast?” The question successfully distracts her as she nods enthusiastically. “Alright, get everything ready for me I’ll be there in a second.” She rushes to the kitchen and you let your body lax against the door allowing yourself slight relief, which is short lasting as another sharp pain presents itself in your head. You push yourself off the door and turn off the light as you stumble out to the hallways.
You drag yourself against the wall to your room, the hallway spinning around you. When you get to your room you stumble into it, practically falling as you search the desk for your medicine. Finding it you open it and take a few in hope of relieving this pain you’re in. You lean against the desk with your eyes closed, letting the symptoms pass through.
When you’re able to open your eyes without feeling like throwing up or like you’re being stabbed in your head you cuss yourself out for not asking about the symptoms you’ll face or how fast you were going to experience them. Shaking your head you close the bottle and hide them again before making your way to the kitchen where Yoonchae is sitting on the counter.
“About time,” she jumps off the counter and shoves a bowl of pancake batter in your hands, “I’m starving chop chop.”
You laugh and head to the stove, which was already on with a pan on it. “You already put butter on it?” You hear her grunt in response which you take as a no and butter the pan. It’s quiet as you cook, Yoonchae on her phone and you deep in thought. The auditions were held in a little over month, and were on the other side of the country, a trip that could take quite a bit if timed right. With just a bit of planning this could definitely be your forgiveness plan.
Turning the stove off you slide a plate of pancakes to the girl and sit across from her. You watch as she eats happily, a small smile making its way to your face. She looks up and glares. “Why aren’t you eating?” Her cheeks are stuffed and her words are muffled which make you laugh.
“What I say about eating and talking?” She rolls her eyes and stuffs her mouth again. “If I sent you a list of names, could you find their locations?”
Yoonchae nods and swallows her food. “As long as they exist I can find them.” You nod before pushing your plate towards her, which she happily takes.
Standing from the table you make sure to push your chair in. “I need you to find some people while I’m out today.”
“Where are you going?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
You tilt your head back enjoying the sun on your skin. You’re a sight to see, leaned up against your bright blue Jeep with sunglasses covering your eyes. Bringing your head down you catch sight of a woman eyeing you as she walks past. Lifting your sunglasses up you wink at her, making the woman flustered as she walks away.
You let the glasses drop over your eyes once more as you bring your eyes back to the building in front of you. When you bring your hand up to check the time you see people pour out of the building, you nod in satisfaction as the time coincided perfectly with the break, just as you planned.
You see her before she sees you, at least that’s what you believe before she walks right past you to cross the street. A scoff leaves you before you nod and push off the side of your car following behind her.
“Daniela!” She ignores your shout, but you know she heard you. But giving her the benefit of the doubt you call for her again. “Dani! I know you can hear me!”
She doesn’t turn back but instead tries to walk faster past the people on the sidewalk you guys were now on.
“Is this really how we’re going to act?” You shout. And when she continues to keep walking you nod to yourself. “Fine, I guess I’ll just have to scream as loud as possible to get your and everyone's attention.” This causes her to freeze and you smile knowing you got her. You quickly let the smile drop when she turns around, the anger very clear on her face.
“You wouldn’t.” The disdain in her tone brings a pleasant chill down your spine.
“Oh, but I would and you know it too.” Her jaw clenches and you enjoy the sharpness it brings to her jawline. You watch as her knuckles go white from her hold tightening on the strap of her bag.
“What do you want?”
You tilt your head to the side, acting as if you’re thinking about it when the truth is you already know. “Get lunch with me?”
She scoffs before looking at you with disbelief. “Are you fucking serious?” You nod, and she has to look around to see if she is being pranked before she turns back to you. “You have a lot of nerve.”
“So I’ve heard.”
Huffing out she licks her lips in annoyance. “Why the hell would I ever go out anywhere with you?”
“I’ll pay for it.” Her features relax and you can see the wheels in her mind start to turn, you smile knowing that you got her.
“I’m choosing the place.”
You nod and lift your arms. “Lead the way.” She turns around leaving you to follow her. You find yourself being led to a very clearly expensive restaurant, which didn’t surprise you, you guys did live in Los Angeles after all.
The waiter brings you guys to a table by a window, when you both take a seat he places a menu in front of both of you guys.
“Can I start you guys off with a drink?”
“Yes,” Daniela starts, “I’ll have a diet Coke, and I’m sure she’ll have whatever diabolical, heart stopping drink there is.”
The man laughs politely before turning to you expectantly. “I’ll just have water, thank you.” Daniela looks at you with disbelief as your waiter nods and walks away.
“Water? Really?”
You shrug. “I’m trying to be a bit healthier.”
“Why? Are you dying?” And you know she’s joking, but you feel yourself tense up, your hand gripping the napkin on the table. When she notices you not laughing she stops, raising a brow. “I was just joking, lighten up. I’m not that lucky.” Her words cause a laugh to leave you, she truly had no idea.
The waiter comes back with both of your drinks, when he places them down he pulls out a device to start your order. “Are you guys ready or would you need a few more minutes?” You nod, though you hadn’t even opened the menu, you know you were going to order whatever Daniela was going to.
“Can I have the dumpling soup, please?” The waiter of course nods before turning to you.
“I’ll have the same.” You tell him offering a thank you as he grabs both the menus from the both. When he walks away once more Daniela takes a sip of her drink before clearing her throat.
“So why have you come to see me today?”
You sigh softly. “Let's wait till the food comes out first.”
Daniela groans quite loudly, garnering a few stares, though she doesn’t care. “Why not just tell me now? Why are you dragging this out?”
“Because, we’re here to eat, so let’s just wait. Why don’t we just catch up?”
“Catch up? Are you serious?” Her jaw clenches, leaning back into the seat she crosses her arms. The scene isn’t unfamiliar to you, the only difference between then and now is her eyes are now filled with hatred and not heartbreak.
You both stay silent until the food comes, before you can even consider getting a taste Daniela finally speaks. “Will you tell me now?”
“I see patience still isn’t your strong suit.”
Daniela scoffs and lets her spoon drop to the table with a clank. “Are you of all people seriously criticizing me?”
“It’s not criticizing, I’m simply pointing out an observation.”
The blonde doesn’t say anything, instead silently seething. She pushes back from the table and stands. “I’m not doing this with you, enjoy your lunch.” But before she can walk away you stand, grabbing her wrist.
“Wait, I’m sorry. Please, sit back down.” You can see the hesitance on her face, and she doesn’t move. “Please.” You try again. She huffs out as she harshly pulls away and goes back to her seat. She takes a sip of her soup while you sit back down across her.
She looks up at you as she takes another spoonful, cocking an eyebrow. “Can I ask you to continue now or will I still be considered impatient?”
You shake your head. “I wanted to meet you today because I’m going on a trip and I want you to come with me.”
She doesn’t react, not at first at least, but when she does it isn’t one that surprises you. Her laughter, though directed at you, is comforting due to it being familiar. When she realizes you aren’t laughing she clears her throat and places the spoon down once more. “You’re being serious.” It’s more of an observation than a question and when you nod in response she leans back in her chair once more. “Why the hell would I go on a trip with you?”
“Cause I’ll pay you a lot more than what your job is.”
She leans forward and you cringe slightly as her elbows rest on the table. “How much we talking?”
“How ever much you want.”
Her eyebrow raises and her honey eyes are filled with suspicion and curiosity. “So if I were to say…three hundred fifty thousand?”
You sigh as you begin to do some math in your mind before pursing your lips and nodding. “That’s doable.”
“Seriously?” She exclaims, knocking her elbow onto the table, hissing as she rubs it and you clean the small drops of soup she splashed onto the table.
“Yeah, seriously.”
“How do I know you’re not lying?” You shrug as you reach into your pocket to pull out your wallet. Grabbing a few bills you lay them on the table and push your bowl towards her carefully to ensure it doesn’t spill.
“You don’t, you’ll just have to trust me.” Standing, you smile once more at her. “I’d consider putting your two weeks in when you get back, we leave when that time runs out.” You don’t wait for a response, you simply place your wallet back into your pocket and leave.
Yoonchae grunts as she places a bag into the trunk. “You sure I can’t come with you?” You nod as you place another bag next to the one she just placed. Closing the trunk you turn to her offering her a small smile. She nods, but you can tell there is something wrong.
“What’s wrong?”
She chews at her bottom lip and it worries you, Yoonchae was not someone who would hesitate to speak. “Chae?”
“Are you okay?” She blurts out the question and it shocks you.
“Yes, of course, why?” The younger shrugs and it’s clear she has no trust within your answer. “Hey,” you start to grab her attention, lifting her chin gently so she has no choice but to look at you. “Talk to me.”
“It’s just…you asked that death question and now you’re going on a trip to apologize to your exes. I can’t help but think that there is something you’re not telling me.” You take in her words slowly, silently cursing at just how smart the younger one is. You know this could be your chance to come clean, but just the thought of leaving her with worry solidifies your choice in keeping your condition a secret.
“I’m not hiding anything, that day I almost got hit by a car and I guess it put things into perspective.” The younger one nods slowly, but you can still see the doubt. So you do what you know will work. She looks up as you bring your pinky up, her eyes lighting up when she realizes what it is. Lifting her own pinky she interlocks hers with yours. “Better?” You ask her.
“Yup.” And when she pulls her finger away you feel your stomach drop in guilt. She leans against the back of your Jeep as you bring your wrist up to check your watch.
“I should start heading out.” She pushes off the car with a frown. “You remember the rules?”
Her eyes roll in annoyance. “Yes.”
“Repeat them.”
You hold back a laugh as she groans. “No physical jobs and no one allowed in the house.” You nod in approval. “Though I don’t know why I can’t do any drop offs, I’m strong.”
“That lie aside, I need you to be safe. I hired someone to do those physical jobs for me while I’m gone. She should be here tomorrow.”
Yoonchae looks at you in disbelief. “I don’t need a babysitter!”
“Good thing she isn’t then.” You say to her as you walk along the side of your car, opening the door to the driver side when you reach it. “Consider her your first employee.”
“Employee?” She trails off, her eyebrows furrow before they relax as excitement takes over her face. “Does that mean?” The smile on her face is huge as you nod.
“Yes, when I come back you’ll be taking over. So remember to keep her at the same standard. No questions, nothing obviously illegal, and no missing person cases.” You can tell she isn’t listening to you as she’s way too busy celebrating the news instead, it doesn’t anger you though, you trust her. You interrupt her celebration by bringing her into a hug, which she reciprocates immediately. “I’m gonna miss you Chip.”
“I’m gonna miss you too Dale.” She says to you, and the old nickname hurts your heart slightly.
“Call me everyday, alright? And be nice to your employee.” You tell her as you get in the car.
“Yeah yeah, I’ll be a better boss than you don’t worry.” She says as she leans into the window, and you laugh.
“Now go inside, I’ll call you when I reach Phoenix.” She nods, shoving your head once before heading inside the apartment.
When you reach Daniela’s place she’s waiting outside with a huge suitcase and annoyance clear on her face. As soon as you park the car and get out she’s already pulling her luggage towards your trunk. “Took you long enough, what were you doing, killing someone for someone else?”
You scoff. “I’m not a murderer.”
“I’m sure you would be if the price was right.” She says as she places her stuff in the trunk once you open it for her.
“I see you still don’t understand what I do for work.”
“Oh really?” Her tone is condescending as she closes the trunk and heads to the passenger while you head to the driver. When she gets in she buckles herself in and turns towards you. “If I don’t understand, why don’t you tell me then?”
You turn on the car after buckling yourself in. “I get paid to do tasks that people don’t want to do themselves.”
She scoffs as you begin to drive, following the path the GPS lays out for you. “And you’re telling me murder isn’t one of those things people have asked of you?”
“Yoonchae and I don’t do anything illegal.”
“That’s right you looped a child into your nonsense.” She connects her phone to your car's bluetooth, playing some random song from her library. “Speaking of which, my phones have been acting really weird since we’ve broken up.”
You feel her eyes on you, taking a glance at her, you roll your eyes at the accusatory look she’s giving you. “Nothing to do with us. You know for someone judging what I do so much you seem mighty comfortable taking money from me, which, by the way, comes from said terrible business.”
“Of course, it’s like Robin Hood. I’m taking from the evil rich, you, and giving to the kind poor, me.” She says it smugly and you just shake your head, focusing your attention only on driving. The drive is mainly quiet, Daniela not wanting to talk to you more than she has to, and you simply lost in your thoughts. When your head started to ache midway through the drive you took it as the perfect time to stop, blaming it on low gas when Daniela looked at you confused. As she headed in to use the bathroom and get snacks, you had snuck a couple of pills in hopes your head calmed; it didn't.
Driving the rest of the way was hellish as Daniela’s music blasted and the cold of the AC brought chills to your body. When you finally arrived at the hotel, you rushed the check in. Grabbing your bags you threw one key at Daniela and ran to your room, practically throwing yourself on the bed.
You close your eyes as you let the coolness of the sheets ease your head. You don’t open your eyes when the door opens knowing that it was Daniela. She huffs as she lets the door slam behind her and you feel something hit your face. Moving the blanket that was now covering it, you slowly open your eyes.
“Thanks for waiting asshole.” She says as she sits on her own bed. You don’t respond as you close your eyes once more. You feel yourself drifting off until something hits your face again.
It takes everything in you not to lose your mind as you pull the pillow away and lift yourself up. Propping yourself up on your hand you look at her. “Yes?”
“I’m hungry.” You let out an exasperated groan at her words.
“Then get something.” You close your eyes once more as you hear her huff. You think you’re free as you hear muttering and moving around until you feel a presence above you. Opening one eye you look at her with annoyance.
“Are you seriously going to sleep when you haven’t washed up or anything?” You exaggerate a groan as you push yourself up, your head aching terribly at this point. Pushing past her you make a show of grabbing your stuff and heading towards the bathroom.
When you close the door behind you, you stumble slightly and throw your stuff haphazardly on the counter. As the ground beneath you starts to move you still yourself against the marbled counter, grazing your thumb against it you allow the coolness to send chills through your body.
Your mind stops spinning and the floor stills under you and you finally open your eyes. Splashing water on your face you go and turn on the shower.
When you finally finish you have no energy left in you, stepping out you see Daniela eating while watching something on TV. Throwing your clothes on your bag you flop onto the bed once more.
“I put your stuff in the fridge.” It surprises you, you expected her to not grab anything for you, your drive having been nothing but silence.
You muster up a thanks though as you use whatever little strength you have left and head to the room’s mini fridge. Inside you find the food, you’re surprised when you realize she remembered what you liked. You bring it to your bed, not worrying about the light coolness of the food now.
You both eat in silence, the only sound coming from the TV, playing some show you didn’t know.
When you can’t eat anymore you get up and put it back in the mini fridge. As you go to head back you see her getting up to do the same. You stop her before she gets up and hold your hands up. “Here, I got it.” She raises an eyebrow and hands you her leftovers before getting back in her bed.
After you finish you walk back to your bed, turning off your side lamp as you finally lay down.
“Is it cool if I leave the TV on?” Daniela asks. It was a question you knew was coming, Daniela hated the dark.
“I’m still scared of the dark.”
You smile as she says the words. “I know.” You speak softly, not knowing whether it was to not startle her or because of exhaustion. “It’s fine.”
She doesn’t respond and you take that as the end until she speaks once more. “Did you call Yoonchae?” It impresses you how she remembered what you didn’t.
“No.” You say lowly. “I’ll text her now and call her in the morning, I’m drained.” But before you can reach for your phone which was charging on the nightstand next to you she speaks out.
“Is her number still the same? I can call her while you sleep.” You sigh out at her words, relief filling you.
“It is, thank you.”
She lets you speak the last line, and as you begin to drift off you hear her whispering softly on her side.
You wake early the next morning, the TV now playing an old sitcom. You stand and go for the pill bottle hidden deeply in your backpack. Stuffing it in your pocket you then head to your other bag to grab clothes for yourself. Heading to the bathroom you get ready for the day. Daniela is still sleeping when you finish, and you don’t expect her to wake up any time soon. So you decide to get you both some breakfast.
After grabbing your phone, wallet, and room key you leave. Phoenix is already hot when you step out, though it’s a heat you’re slightly familiar with because of living in Los Angeles, it still makes you uncomfortable due to it being elevated here. Not many stores are open as the sun was just rising, and as the sky turns beautiful shades of pinks and oranges you can’t help but take a picture of it. Sending it to Yoonchae, you stuff your phone back in your pocket and look up.
You see people shuffling into one store, which seemed to be a cafe. Seeing as it seemed popular you decide to head in too. Your assumption was solidified as the inside was slightly crowded, office workers outweigh the everyday person. The cafe workers are clearly great at their job though as you find yourself at the front of the line quickly.
You order yourself coffee, Daniela some matcha drink you’re sure she’ll like, and you both breakfast. It’s done quickly and you leave a tip as thank you. You take your stuff outside and sit on the curb, past you would be a bit more worrisome about how you looked to others, but the you now realized time was too short to worry about such things.
You take a sip of your coffee as you watch the sky shift, the colors changing gradually. Your shirt sticks to your back, but you don’t worry too much, instead you keep your eyes on the sky. As it shifts to blue and the clouds become more scarce, the street around you begins to liven. But you still pay it no mind as you take your first bite of the bagel you had ordered.
As you sit there you decide what you want your last moments to be; laying in the grass and taking in the beautiful blue of the sky.
By the time you finish Daniela’s drink is warm, and you know she would kill you if you handed her it. So, getting up you toss it in the nearby trash can, wincing at the thought of wasting, before walking back into the cafe.
New drink in hand along with her still warm bagel you head back to the hotel. Walking into the room you find Daniela not only wide awake, but singing and dancing around the room. You leaned against the door to watch her better, as you take in the happiness you haven’t seen in her in a while to your surprise you feel your heart race. Your jaw clenches as you push back the old feelings that are suddenly trying to resurface. Pushing off the door you make your presence known.
When she turns to you you lift up her food and drink. “Room service.” She squeals in surprise before heading into the bathroom to take out her toothbrush. When she comes back she snatches the food from you and takes a seat at the desk. As she digs in you start to pack up your stuff. “Checkout ends in an hour.”
She doesn’t respond, but you know she heard you. When you finish getting your stuff together, which wasn’t very long, you didn’t take many things out, you drop back on the bed. Opening it you see multiple texts from Yoonchae, all complaints about the roommate you have found for her. Shaking your head you call her.
She answers the call immediately and you hear a loud groan.
“Why did you have to hire her? She’s so fucking boring.”
You laugh. “That’s a good thing, you need someone who will bore you and keep you straight.” She scoffs and you can hear the familiar foreign curses. “Where’d you even find her? The library in the news section or whatever sections they have there.”
“Your lack of knowledge in libraries is very concerning, maybe I’ll ask Giselle to bring you to one.” This answer gets you hung up on and you can’t help the shocked laugh that escapes you.
“She hung up on you?” Daniela asks, she has turned the chair around to look at you. You nod and she laughs too. You watch as she gets up to toss her stuff away and also get her stuff together. When she finishes you get up and grab both of yours' stuff.
“Can you reach inside my wallet and leave a tip for the staff?” You ask her, and she nods reaching inside your pant pockets and you have to physically hold off any chills you get from her touch. She opens the wallet and pulls out a few bills, you don’t see which they are, but you know she definitely pulled out some big ones, not that you minded.
After she checked the room to make sure you guys had everything, you both head down to the lobby, where you check out with a thanks. When you finish putting your stuff in the trunk you both get in.
“So, where to next?”
You adjust the car AC before twisting your body to face her. “Houston, but I have to stop somewhere around here first. It shouldn’t be too long.” She nods and turns on her music once more. It doesn’t take you long to get to your destination, the house you were heading to being very close.
“Umm…” Daniela turns to you with furrowed brows, “Whose house is this?”
You sigh, turning off the car and unbuckling your seat. You don’t answer her quite yet as you get out of the car and head to the trunk. You pull out a hidden duffel bag which was filled with money. Grabbing a couple stacks you head to Daniela’s side of the car and lean into the window.
“Old friend’s house, I won’t be long.” You don’t give her a chance to respond as you turn and head towards the house.
As you get closer to the door your heart begins to race and your nervousness starts to rise. It takes you a few moments to hype yourself enough to knock on the door. You hear someone yell that they’re coming and you begin to really feel sick. When the door finally opens you’re transported back to your teenage self.
“Hi Manon.” Your words come out weak and barely above a whisper, but you know the other hears you as she chuckles lightly.
“You have a lot of nerve.” She tells you, and you can’t help the small smile that rises from the familiar words.
“So I’ve heard.” She nods as she takes you in, tilting her head to the side with a sigh.
“You look like shit.” And the words make you laugh, though they really shouldn’t.
“Would you believe me if I told you I hear that too?”
She chuckles once more, though this one is more of a hum than a laugh before leaning against her door. “What do you want?” At her question you raise your hands, showing the stacks of money you had taken. Her eyes widen in shock as she straightens herself and sticks herself out slightly looking around. Not seeing any of her neighbors she pulls herself back in and moves to the side. “Come in.”
You nod and step inside her house. Stepping past the threshold you are met with immediate coolness and the smell of lavender. A soft hum rings through the house from a machine deeper inside the residence, you don’t pay it much mind as she closes the door behind you and motions for you to follow her to a table that was in the dining room. “Sit here.” She says as she points to one of the brown chairs. She heads back into the kitchen while you place the cash on the table.
When she comes back she places a glass of water in front of you. “Here.” You mutter a small thanks, taking a sip, while she takes one of the stacks and starts to inspect it. You let her be while you take in the rest of the house, or at least what you can see. It’s clear she lives alone, as the table only has two tablemats, one of which is clearly unused.
Her house seems to be decorated more for comfort than aesthetic, not that it was ugly, it was just more comfortable.
Taking another sip of your water, you jump when you feel something graze your leg. Looking down you see a cat, rubbing once more against your leg. You push back your chair and lean down to pick it up. You rub the center of its head, right between its ears, smiling when you feel it purr.
“Her name is Ophelia.” Manon says as she places the stack back on the table. You nod at her words, rubbing Ophelia’s head once more before placing her down on the floor. You watch as she struts away.
“She’s pretty.” You say, following the cat's movements as she heads to a bowl near the wall. Manon hums in agreement before taking a sip of her own drink, tea you assume as you watch steam rise from the cup. “She’s a brat.” She says after a few beats of silence, and you laugh softly.
It grows silent again, you waiting for her to lead the conversation. She picks at her nails while you rub a thumb against the glass of your cup. “How long do you have?” She asks. The question surprises you, but you don’t let it show as you wipe away the condensation the ice in the cup causes. She gives you the time to breathe as she takes another sip of her tea.
“How’d you know?” You ask her as you let your hand fall from the glass, crossing your arms while you lean back. She lets out a soft hum as she breathes out, clearly trying to collect her thoughts and choose the right words.
“My mother.” She sighs looking down momentarily before looking up once more. “Before she passed she looked just like you. Sunken cheeks, dull eyes, and slight tremors.” A laugh escapes you at the last one, you thought you were able to hide the now consistent shake of your hands. “What is it?” She asks when you look up at her once more.
You purse your lips as you move one of your arms to the armrest, resting your head in your hand. Rubbing your thumb against your eyebrow you sigh as you let your arm drop once more. “My brain doesn’t want to work anymore.”
She nods, sighing. “The brain is a tricky one.”
“Don’t I know it.” You trail off, turning towards Ophelia who was now laying near the windowsill. “I have a little over a month left.” You hear her breath catch, and watch as drops of tea spill on the table from her bumping her knee against it.
“That’s…” She trails off, but you bring your eyes back to the window, taking in the sky once again. “I’m sorry.” Her words are earnest and you nod. “So, this.” You look back at her to find her pointing towards the two stacks of cash. “Is some sort of last chance to heaven sort of thing?”
You laugh at the words and shake your head. “I don’t believe in a heaven. It’s an apology of sorts. I…I wasn’t the best person to you when we broke up, and I know money can’t really cover for that, but as you know I don’t really have the time to make it up to you as I should.” She stands from her seat when you finish and you follow her curiously. She walks past you and your view of her is blocked and you can’t help but wonder if you messed up. You sit up when she comes back with a rag in her hand and heads back to her side of the table, wiping up the drops of tea.
She folds up the rags as she sits back down looking at you. “You’re right it doesn’t make up for it, but I appreciate it.” And you breathe out in relief. “Is the girl waiting in your car part of this ‘forgiveness crusade’?”
“Yeah.”
“What’d you do to her?”
This question makes you clearly tense as you remember just what you had done to the woman in your car. “I broke up with her because she ‘wasn’t fun.’” Manon winces at your words, shaking her head.
“That ones worse than what you said to me.” And you can’t help but agree with her. Your break up with Daniela was ugly and cruel, and you can still remember the way she looked at you, hurt so clear in her eyes you wanted to do nothing but rip your heart out. At the thought of this the regret is clear on your face and Manon takes note of it. “You didn’t mean, did you?”
“No.” You bring your hand back up to the cup and rub your thumb once more, erasing the condensation. “It was getting serious and I was scared.”
Manon hums. “Sounds like you. How you making it up to her?”
“She’s a dancer and I’m bringing her to an audition for a tour in New York. Oh, and some money.” She takes in your words as she takes another sip of her tea.
“Do you still like her?”
You fidget slightly in the chair at the question. Licking your lips you breathe through your nose, humming softly. And Manon nods with a knowing smile on her face. The soft hum of the machine in the background stops and you take it as your way out.
“I should get going, I have to get to Houston.” And Manon nods once again and the smirk on her face makes you roll your eyes. She walks with you towards the front door.
“Who is next?”
“An old friend I fell out with.” You tell her as you open the door, your head starting to pound slightly. As you’re about to walk out she calls for you. When you turn around you feel slightly lightheaded, and you’re so out of it you don’t notice the look of horror on her face. The last thing you hear before everything goes black is her saying that you're bleeding.
You wake to the sound of cussing and it takes you a few seconds to recognize the ceiling of your car. Feeling a warm breeze you look over to see the passenger window is open. You sit up and hear Daniela start cursing again.
“Stupid fucking GPS, how are you rerouting me when I’m not even off the highway yet?”
You turn yourself to face the front and place an arm on both of the front seats. Leaning forward you turn towards her. “It’s probably because the car is programmed for Canada.”
You wince when she screams and grip the headrests tightly when she swerves. You stay silent as she pulls to the side of the highway and jump when she turns to you suddenly after putting on the hazard lights. “What the fuck is your problem?” You lean back as she shouts and smile widely.
“I didn’t do anything.” You nod towards the GPS. “Where we going?”
“The hospital.” She glares and crosses her arms. “Why the fuck is your car programmed for Canada?”
You snort at her question. “What is this? Twenty questions? Scoot over.” She moves out of the driver’s seat and into the passengers while you pull yourself towards the front. When you settle in the seat and buckle yourself in you turn to look at her. “I pissed Yoonchae off last year so she decided to fuck with the whole system. Took her an entire month just to give me my music back.”
She laughs incredulously as you turn off the car GPS and take out your phone to start the route to the hotel in Houston. As you put your phone in the holder she turns to look at you confused. “Where are we going?”
“Houston.” You can feel her stare on you as you merge back onto the highway.
“Shouldn’t we be going to hospital?”
“Why?”
She slaps your arm and you wince. “Maybe cause you fainted.” You raise a hand to wave her off.
“Dehydration. I’m fine now.” You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and grimace when you catch the sight of dry blood. “Can you wet a napkin and give it to me?”
She does as you ask of her and when she hands it to you she starts again. “That didn’t seem like a simple pass out. I mean you were bleeding!” She points towards the napkin that now laid in your hand to emphasize her point. “Plus that girl seemed really freaked out.” She says this with a weird tone, but you brush it off with a sigh.
“I’m fine.”
But your response isn’t believable to her. “I don’t know, I think we should go-” You cut her off with a groan.
“I said I’m fine! Can we drop it now?” You didn’t mean for your tone to be so harsh, but before you can fix anything she huffs.
“Fine, be like that. I don’t give a fuck.” She turns towards the window and the car goes silent. It doesn’t take long for you to feel bad and you can’t help but take small glances at Daniela. After about half an hour you cave in, not being able to take the silence.
“I’m sorry.” You start. “You were just being caring and I had no reason to yell at you.” She stays silent but you know she heard you due to her scoffing as soon as you finished. Sighing, you try again. “You know I’ve planned for us to stay in Houston for a few days, meaning we’ll have a lot of free time. So…we can do anything you want.”
This gets her to break as she turns her body back towards you. “Anything?” You nod to confirm and she exclaims immediately before she starts listing everything she would be forcing you to do. With the mood much lighter you can’t help but smile, feeling lighter than ever.
By the time you get to Houston you both are exhausted, after checking in you both get into the room and crash.
When you wake up the sun is setting and the smell of food fills the room. Turning your head you see Daniela holding a plate of food in front of your face with a smile. “Look what I got.” She says in a sing-songy tone causing you to laugh. Lifting yourself up you stretch before sitting against the headboard and grabbing the food from Daniela.
“Thank you.” She nods and hops back onto her bed before grabbing her own food. You didn’t realize how hungry you were until you were halfway done. Daniela groans and you look over to see her plate cleared.
“I’ve never eaten anything that good before, my god.” You agree with her and turn your attention to the cartoon playing on the TV. “So I was thinking tomorrow we go to the zoo, eat lunch there, you buy me and Yoonchae some souvenirs, then we come back, change and go to this fancy restaurant I saw.”
You look at her, your brows furrowing in confusion. “Fancy?”
She nods excitedly as she gets up from her bed haphazardly, her phone in hand. When she stands in front of you she shoves her phone in your face. You have to lean back a bit to get your eyes to focus on the screen. When you can finally see clearer you see a well rated restaurant that looks extremely expensive. But it’s not that that worries you, it’s how weirdly intimate and dare you even say, romantic the atmosphere seemed.
You bring your eyes up to her face and at the look of excitement you decide to keep that thought to yourself. You slightly nod to let her know you’ve seen what she wanted you to see and she pulls the phone back, jumping on her bed.
She kicks her feet up and down, humming as she scrolls through her phone and you can’t help but watch her. You feel your heart start to flutter and your mind goes back to your conversation with Manon. You absolutely did still love Daniela, but to be completely honest with yourself you don’t think you ever stopped. It didn’t help that Daniela seemed to have warmed up to you once again.
Before your mind could spiral any further your head starts to throb, and just like that you’re brought back to reality.
Sighing softly you stand to put your food away, your appetite now disappearing.
You both spend the rest of the night watching random cartoons before falling asleep once more and before you know it you’re standing in front of capybaras with a pair of tiger ears on your head.
When one of the animals gets closer to the glass she runs and shoves her phone in your hands. “Quick, take a pic of me and the baby!”
You nod and lift her phone up, taking a couple pictures before your breath catches in your throat. You look over her phone to get a better look and your face starts to burn when you do. Daniela seems to be loved by heaven as the sun suddenly hits her perfectly. Her already light eyes seem to brighten, and the lip gloss she’s wearing seems to sparkle. She pushes away from the exhibit to come closer to you, and you can see her freckles clearly when she comes up right in front of you.
God, she is so beautiful.
You don’t realize she’s talking to you, until you see her glare in suspicion. “Sorry?” You say to her, your mind still reeling, but you try your best to pay attention to her.
“I asked how I looked.”
“Oh.” You hand her phone to her. “You looked beautiful.” Your words come out more breathless than you mean for it too, and it surprises Daniela. Her cheeks become slightly red and she looks away as she grabs, or more so snatches, her phone from you. “Good.” She says, still refusing to look at you. “Let’s go to the tortoises now, I want to feed them.”
You don’t bother responding and just follow behind her. When you guys make it to the exhibit you show them your ticket and they hand you the food, which you give to Daniela. The animals immediately walk over to the fence when Daniela kneels down and holds a piece of lettuce for them. You watch the smile grow impossibly wider on her face as she continues to feed them and you immediately take a picture. Your heart jumps when she looks up, and you can’t help but take another one.
“Come here and feed one.” You nod immediately, placing your phone back in Daniela’s bag, which she had you holding, you go to her side and lean down next to her, grabbing a piece of lettuce she was giving to you.
A tortoise immediately eats from you, and you see why Daniela is so excited by it. When it finishes eating you grab your phone again and ask for another piece of lettuce, which Daniela gives you, and you take a video of you feeding it.
As soon as the lettuce runs out Daniela complains about being hungry, so you both settle on getting ice cream to save room for dinner. After buying you both ice cream, vanilla with sprinkles, you guys sit on a bench and eat it in a happy silence.
Crunching happily on the cone the blonde turns to you. “I’m surprised you still have the ears on.” Her words are muffled, and you have to fight the reflex to scold her.
You shrug lightly. “You said they’re cute.” She smiles and nods before turning back to her cone.
After you both finish you spend a few more hours exploring the animal exhibits before calling it a day and heading back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. You get ready first, thankful you brought a few fancy, or fancy adjacent, outfits with you. As you are in the bathroom finishing up, you decide to take a few pills in hopes to prevent any episodes.
When you finish you get out and sit at the desk chair waiting for Daniela. You spend most of your time texting Yoonchae, most of it being her complaining than anything else. You look up when you hear the bathroom door open, sitting up immediately when you see how she looks.
She’s wearing a very pretty dress that holds tight to her body. Your mouth goes dry as you trace her curves with her eyes. She doesn’t seem to notice as she smiles at you. “Ready?”
You nod and follow her out. During the drive to the restaurant you can’t help but take multiple glances in adoration. When you guys arrive you open the door for her before the valet attendant could, and smile even wider when she thanks you. Handing the keys to the attendant you both walk into the restaurant.
As soon as you crossed the threshold your thoughts from the night prior were confirmed; this restaurant’s atmosphere is very intimate and romantic. You hear Daniela gasp softly and you look towards her in concern. “It’s so beautiful here.” You feel chills run down your spine at her words, did she like this atmosphere? Did she choose this type of place on purpose?
You don’t get to think about this for long as the host waves for you two to come closer. You let Daniela handle everything, since she had book the reservation, and you two are led to your table. You make sure to pull out her chair for her before taking your own seat.
Your eyes widen when you take a look at the prices. “This place is expensive.” Not that you were worried, and it’s clear Dani wasn’t either as she simply hums. It doesn’t take long for the waitress to come to your table with water, which the blonde makes sure to point out how fancy the glass looks. Dani then orders for you both, which doesn’t bother you, you liked it when she chose things for you.
“So,” she starts, “What are we here in Houston for again?”
Putting your glass back down you look up at her. “Meeting an old friend.” She grunts slightly and her reaction surprises you. When she sees you look at her in confusion she starts again.
“Just wondering why you keep calling your exes your friends.” Her answer makes your heart skip, as you try to decipher her disdain. Rubbing your hands against your pants you swallow your own saliva at the possibility of her potentially being jealous.
“She’s not an ex, she truly was just a friend.”
Dani nods as she breaks the piece of bread that was her plate, making it clear she wasn’t going to eat it. “What’d you do to her?”
You truthfully didn’t want to answer that question, you were just getting on Dani’s good side, potentially even reigniting a romance with her. But you also knew with just how fragile your twos’ relationship stood at this moment you couldn’t lie to her, especially given the huge lie you were feeding her everyday. So clearing your throat you speak. “I stole her idea for the business, and left her alone.”
She grimaces at your words and you look down. “Well, at least it wasn’t worse than what you did to me.” And you can’t help but frown at her words.
“I’m sorry I treated you like that before.” But since you were still looking down at your lap she didn't hear you clearly.
“What’d you say?” You look up and clear your throat, but before you go again the waitress comes back and places your food down. After pouring wine in both your wine glasses she leaves you two alone once more. When Dani takes the first bite you decide to try again.
“I’m sorry. What I said to you, it wasn’t true and was just meant as a way to be cruel. I shouldn’t have said that and if I could take it back I would.” You wince when Dani’s knife scrapes against the plate as she freezes. When she looks up her hazel eyes are filled with emotions, but the most noticeable is rage. She places her cutlery down as she leans in, her tone rough.
“What do you mean it wasn’t true?” Inhaling you sit up straighter, clearing your throat once more out of nerves rather than necessity.
“I had broken up with you because I was scared. Because we were becoming more serious. So I just said whatever I could to get you to never reach back out.”
You words cause her to scoff and you see her try to quell the anger that she is now feeling. Her jaw clenches and though you know her anger towards you is not good you can’t help but appreciate just how pretty she looks even enraged.
Turning back to you she sighs through her nose. “Let’s not talk about this right now, we can discuss this later.” And she goes back to eating while you can only watch her like you were a child that had been scolded. The air is tense and it’s clear the waitress can feel it when she had come back, offering you a sympathetic smile as she checks on you both. When she leaves you wish she had taken you with her.
You don’t bother eating, your appetite gone now that you knew Dani was angry at you and it seems your actions just anger the other even more as each time she looks at you she rolls her eyes. When the bill comes you pay without hesitation and tip the waitress way more than was asked as an apology for the tense table she had to keep coming back to.
While you wait outside for the attendant to bring back your car Dani stands far enough away from you that another person could have stood between you two comfortably. And when you hold the door open for her once more she doesn’t thank you, even slamming the door before you can close it for her.
Before you get in you take a second to breathe to calm yourself a bit, getting in the car it amazes how the air genuinely feels cold too. It takes a few minutes for her to start talking and when she does your body reacts immediately by leaning in towards her.
“Do you know how low I felt after you broke up with me? I doubted myself because of you and for you to have the nerve to just tell me that you just said it because of your insecurities? I can’t believe you, I knew this trip was a mistake. I knew trusting you once more was a mistake.”
Your heart breaks at her words and you can feel your eyes well up with tears. You don’t respond, not being able to due to the lump in your throat.
The silence sticks as you get to the hotel and that night you both go to sleep without a word. The next day isn’t any better as you both get ready without a word, and when you buy breakfast for her she takes it without giving you another glance.
You guys sit at a bench in a plaza when you try to talk to her. “Dani-” She cuts you off before you can finish.
“Don’t. Not now.”
You nod your head deciding to respect her wishes. When another hour passes she speaks, though she sounds cold. “When is your friend coming?”
You furrow your brows when you realize you have no idea. “I don’t know…hold on I’ll be right back.” You stand and walk over to the side as you call Yoonchae.
“You have a lot of nerve.”
“Not now. I’ve been waiting where you said Lara would be for about an hour and not a single sight of her.”
“Huh? That can’t be.” You hear her chair roll and the familiar sound of typing. You look around as you wait, seeing if you can possibly spot her. Yoonchae gains your attention once more when she curses. “Okay, don’t be mad. But she’s actually in Miami.”
You groan as you pinch your nose bridge. “How did you fuck that up?”
“Listen, you asked me to do research after a stack of pancakes I was tired and made a mistake! Look on the bright side at least you get to see Daniela in a bikini.” You hang up her after she says that and make your way back to Daniela.
“Looks like we’re going to Miami.” She raises an eyebrow as she looks at you.
“Why?”
“Yoonchae made a mistake.” That seems to be enough for her as she stands and heads to your car.
The trip to Miami was the worst one yet, between Daniela’s cold shoulder, your head hurting and the long drive you couldn’t wait for it to end.
You’re lucky enough to book an oceanfront room right on the strip of Miami beach, which seems to be the one thing you did right these past few days in Daniela’s eyes.
“When are you meeting your friend?” She says to you as she comes back from the balcony where she was taking pictures.
“Yoonchae says she should be in this plaza at around noon.” You show her the plaza Yoonchae sent you and she takes a glance before looking back at her phone. You sigh as you accept this will probably be how the rest of the trip will be.
At noon the next day you find yourselves at another plaza, this one more filled. The Florida sun burns at your skin as you and Daniela wait.
When you see Lara you stand abruptly, leaving Daniela without a word. Following her into the crowd you call for the red head.
Lara turns and is tense, when she spots you her gaze immediately hardens as she stomps towards you. “What is your fucking problem?”
You sigh softly as she grips you with one hand, the other holding her drink. “Let’s talk.” She scoffs as she lets you go and shoves you.
“Talk?” She pushes you again. “Fucking talk? Why the fuck would I ever talk to you?”
“I want to apologize.” She scoffs when she hears this and starts to back up. When you reach for her she snatches her arm away, almost as if even the thought of you touching her burns her. Your hands shake slightly as they stay in the air and you know what you have to do.
Dropping to your knees you let your head hang. You know she’s still there as her shoes are still visible in front of you.
The first drop of her drink surprises you, but you don’t move nor look up as she continues to spill her drink on you. When she throws her cup at you Daniela steps in. “Alright, that’s enough.”
But Lara doesn’t pay her any mind. “You think this sorry ass apology is enough? If you’re really sorry you’d just die.” The world goes mute after this. You’re sure Daniela responds to her but you can’t hear her. After a few moments, or at least it feels like a few moments you begin to laugh.
You didn’t mean to, but once you start you can’t stop. You know you’re a sight to see, covered in some drink while laughing like crazy.
When you finally stop you look up, huffing out with a smile you begin to nod. “Alright. If that’s what you want.” Lara looks at you in disbelief as Daniela grabs you.
“Let’s go.” You let her drag you away to some unknown place where she pushes you to sit down. “I’ll be right back.” You don’t acknowledge her, too deep in your own thoughts. When she leaves you the tears start to fall, the exhaustion of reality weighing heavily on you.
You were dying. You were really dying. And what’s worse is some people want you to. You were such a horrible person that some people truly want you dead.
Your throat hurts from how hard you’re sobbing and when Daniela comes back she holds you. Her touch makes you uncomfortable, you don’t deserve her gentleness, not when you’re this terrible of a person. When you finally run out of tears she pulls away from you, and red rises to your cheeks when you see you’ve dirtied her shirt.
“You feeling better?” You nod and she smiles. “Good, I’m going to try and clean you up now, alright?” You nod once more and Dani starts to use the napkins she had gotten from a nearby store. As she cleans you up she speaks, her voice soft. “I’m sorry she was that mean to you. No matter what you had done to her, you didn’t deserve this.”
You don’t respond which causes her to sigh as she continues to try and clean you up. When she notices that her clean up job won’t get any better with what she has, she looks at you. “Are you okay to move? I don’t think I can do much more.” She says this with a bit of laughter.
“Yeah.” You finally speak, your voice meek and rough.
“I’ll drive us back.” She holds her hand up for your keys and you give it to her. When you get to the car she places her hoodie on the passenger seat so you don’t ruin your seats and you thank her.
When you guys get back it’s like you’re a shell of a person. You shower, change, and lay in bed where you don’t move for hours. It concerns Daniela but she knew there was nothing she could do for you except be there.
You don’t move until early the next morning, where you sit on the balcony taking in the sound of the waves. You sit there as the sun rises, and watch as surfers come and go. And when the sun fully comes into the sky you watch as crowds of people begin to set up across the beach.
Daniela joins you and takes the seat next to you. “It’s pretty out here.” She says, her voice catching on the wind.
“You should’ve seen the sunrise.” You tell her.
“Are you feeling better?”
And though you don't, you refuse to hinder her anymore. “Yeah.” You take a pause to exhale softly. “I’m going to take you back to LA. You can keep the money, I won’t bother you anymore.”
She stares at you and it burns your skin, but you keep watching the ocean. “No.” She says and it shocks you, making your body twitch slightly. “I don’t want to. You said you’re going to make it up to me with this trip and that’s what you’ll do.”
You finally turn away from the ocean and turn to her. Your eyes trace her face to see if she’s being serious, not seeing any you nod slowly. “Alright.”
She breathes out slowly in relief. “Now can we go inside, it’s hot and I need a shower.”
You laugh and nod. You sit at the desk as you wait for her, searching for an activity you both can do when you get a call from Yoonchae.
“If you’re here to compl-”
She cuts you off immediately. “We have an emergency.”
Your heart drops as you sit up. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Yeah I’m fine, it’s the auditions. They’re moving it up to next week.”
“What? Why would they do that? That makes no sense.”
“I know. I just thought you should know, I gotta go Giselle about to curse me out for being up so early. Love you!”
You tell her you love her back before hanging up. You feel yourself begin to panic, but remember that you have to tell Daniela.
“Dani!” You yell as you stand, before you can call for her again you see blood fall on the desk. Bringing your hand up to your nose you wipe away blood and the room starts to spin. Trying to move you stumble and feel like the air has been sucked out of you. You try to call for Dani again but it comes out meek. As your vision starts to blur you see Dani come out of the bathroom and the last thing you see is the look of horror before the world goes black.
Daniela’s leg shakes as she rubs at her head. She perks up when the door opens but laxes when she sees it’s just Yoonchae. Handing her a cup of coffee she takes a seat next to her.
“No one has come yet?” The younger asks and Daniela shakes her head. Yoonchae huffs in displeasure, but Dani doesn’t pay her any mind.
It’s been two days since you’ve collapsed and you still haven’t woken up. Daniela’s ears perk up slightly when she hears Yoonchae move and watches her warily as she stands to check the wires attached to you. The younger had flown in the day before and had yet to have settled down. Though it drove the older slightly insane she let the younger be as she knew it was a way for her to distract herself. It was clear to her immediately that Yoonchae was trying to put on a strong front, to seem almost as if she was unaffected, but Daniela could see the fear in her.
She could see the way her eyes would get glossy when she stared at you for too long, or how she would hesitate to even say your name.
Daniela understood why, she herself cared for you greatly, no matter how much she tried to deny it, she always would care for you and if she was this devastated she can only imagine what it was like for Yoonchae. To the younger you were her entire world, and now there was a threat to that.
It takes another two hours for the doctor to finally make an appearance. She walks in with a polite smile and closes the door behind her quietly, almost as if not to wake you.
“My apologies for the long wait, the hospital is severely understaffed and I had to scrub up for a couple surgeries and then of course our systems were down for a bit.” She trails off for a bit, waving her hand when she sees the slight disinterest from the two. “But you don’t want to hear about my woes. Let me take a look at what we’re dealing with.” She walks over to the board at the end of your bed.
Daniela watches the doctor’s face, tensing when she sees sorrow fill her features. The doctor inhales and holds it in her chest for a bit, seemingly thinking of her next words.
She exhales before she starts. “Umm..” She pauses. “How long did your friend say she has?”
“Sorry?”
“My apologies. I mean her first estimation.” At the look of confusion she clears her throat. “Do you not know?”
Yoonchae shakes her head, answering for the both of them and Daniela watches as the doctor’s breath hitches.
“Oh dear.” She mutters. “If you will just give me a moment.” She says leaving the room.
Yoonchae turns to Daniela, fear evident in her eyes. “What do you think she means?” The older chews at her bottom lip and shrugs, panic filling her so deeply she couldn’t answer. She can tell Yoonchae wants to ask more but the doctor comes back, interrupting her before she can.
A manila folder is now in her hands and Daniela feels her heart drop. The woman places the folder on the small table by your bed and pulls out a piece of paper. When she flips it around a photocopy of an x-ray is on it.
The two lean forward slightly, confusion clear on their faces.
“This is a photocopy of an x-ray of your friend’s brain. Do you see these circles? These are your friend’s brain cells clumping together, about a month ago there were eight, the scan we had done today shows the growth has started to accelerate, now leading to there being thirteen of these masses.”
Daniela feels lightheaded. “So what does this mean?” Her throat is tight as she speaks and nausea starts to settle in.
“It means that when these cells get too tangled, they will burst and your friend will…” She trails off, but she didn’t have to say the words the two understood what this meant.
“How long?” Yoonchae’s voice breaks at the end and it makes Daniela want to sob.
“If she wakes up she’d be very lucky to see the end of the month.” She pauses to reach back towards the mini desk, lifting the folder she lifts up a pamphlet, handing it to Daniela. “I’d start looking into end of life programs, whether it be here or back at home. I’m truly sorry.” She picks up the folder once more and leaves the room as if she didn’t just ruin their lives with her words.
The silence is almost unbearable, the only sound between them being the steady beeping of your heart machine. Yoonchae breaks first, a terrible sob escaping her. The sound so horrible Daniela has to look away as tears escape her.
She wishes she could comfort her, but she can’t move, sobs wracking through her keeping her stuck. But in some way, it’s comforting, knowing they are both mourning a loss that has not yet occurred.
The following days are terrible, with each moment you don’t wake up the worst everything seems to feel. Yoonchae has become a shell of herself only moving when she had to. Dani tries to get her to eat, knowing you’d kill her if you didn’t at least try to be there for her. So Dani tries to be strong, or at least appear strong. Truthfully she’s struggling, in the moments where she is by herself her thoughts are the only thing to accompany her. She finds they often lead to “what ifs,” her least favorite being the ones that wondered about that past. Wondered what life would be like if you both didn’t break up, if your insecurities hadn’t scared you from her.
She knows not much would be different, a sickness would still take you from her, and she’d still be hurting this terribly. The truth is Dani still loved you, and probably would love you until she died. She wasn’t stupid, she felt her feelings reignite, how could she not have been caring to her during this trip, even when she was cold to you you had been kind, and well forced proximity really works.
But it seemed like all that wouldn’t matter since you were…Dani shakes her head, refusing to think of it.
She wets the rag the hospital gave to her and wipes your neck gently, humming a song as she attempts to clean you.
“You always loved this song.” Your voice is hoarse and scares her slightly from the sudden interruption. It takes her a few moments to comprehend that you’re awake now. You smile at her, or as much you can and it’s enough for her to jump on.
“Sorry! Sorry!” She exclaims when you groan, jumping up from the bed.
“It’s okay.” You tell her though it’s rasped, and she can feel her eyes start to water. Your eyes soften, concern apparent in them. “Are you alright?”
Dani nods, though tears stream down her face. “I’m just really happy.”
You chuckle softly, before wincing. “Is it too much to ask for some water?” Daniela quickly shakes her head before leaving the room to go ask for some water and a nurse. When she steps out she bumps into Yoonchae, who looks at her confused. She doesn’t bother saying anything, she just smiles, squeezes her shoulder, and walks away.
You look up when you hear the door open again, shocked when you see Yoonchae.
“Chip…” Your words open the floodgate and she begins to cry. “Come here.” You open up your arms, but the younger doesn’t move and as you take a longer look you see the anger on her face.
“You lied!” She begins. “You told me I had nothing to worry about, but you already knew!”
You grip the blanket that covers you tightly as you swallow roughly, the dryness of your throat causing sharp pains. “I’m sorry.”
But the words do little to comfort her. “When were you going to tell me? Or were you just going to disappear from my life?” She yells roughly at you, her voice cracking slightly due to her sobs and you can’t do much but look at your down in shame. “Answer me!”
You don’t look up. “I’m sorry.” Your answer clearly isn’t the right one as she huffs shakily and yanks open the door. You hear Daniela yelp in surprise as Yoonchae passes her.
The blonde places the water on your bedside table. “What was that about?”
You look up with a frown. “She’s mad I didn’t tell her.” Daniela nods slowly in understanding, it was a sentiment she related to when she first found out, but your awakening deferred any remnants of anger she had.
“I’ll go look for her, just relax. The doctor should be coming in soon, okay?”
You thank her and watch as she leaves the room. It doesn’t take too long after for the doctor to arrive. “Glad to see you’re awake.” She waits for a response but when you don’t move she knows she won’t get one yet. “You may feel some pain in your throat for a bit but that is completely normal. Do you have any questions for me?”
“How much longer do I have?” The question shocks her but she doesn’t let it show.
“Not much longer. A couple weeks at most.”
You nod slowly before bringing your hands up to your face, dragging them roughly down it. Removing your hands you look at her. “When is the earliest I can be discharged?”
This time she can’t hide the shock as her eyes widen. “Uhh…tomorrow?”
“Okay.”
The doctor offers you a somber smile before patting your leg gently. “Get some rest for now.” You let your head fall back against the mattress, grateful that Daniela had repositioned the bed earlier. Sighing, exhaustion crashes like waves through your body. You grab the cup of water on your table and take a sip, wincing as the coolness causes a sharp pain in your throat.
You’re more thirsty than you know as you down a cup and pour yourself another. You stop at two though as the pain in your throat becomes too much. When you place the cup down the door opens and you immediately turn to look. You deflate slightly when only Dani walks in, which she notices.
“Is she okay?” You ask when Daniela sits in one of the chairs by your bed.
“Yeah, she’s just mad.” She places a hand atop of yours, rubbing it comfortingly. “Give her some time. Did the doctor come in?”
You nod as you move your hand to grip hers softly. “She said I can be discharged tomorrow.”
“She did?” It’s clear she has some doubts, but ignores it as you nod once more. She sighs and rubs your hand again. “Alright, I guess I’ll book our flights back to LA.”
Her words cause you to pop your head up. “What?”
“What’s wrong?”
You look around the room for your phone. “What day is it?”
Daniela’s eyebrows furrow in concern and confusion. “Tuesday. Why? What’s wrong?” You pause momentarily at her words, were you really gone for that long? Shaking your head you turn to her.
“We can’t go back to LA, we have to be in New York by Saturday.” She sighs before leaning in to get closer to you. Cupping your face gently she turns you slowly so you can look at her.
“Whatever you’re planning, don’t worry about it. You don’t owe me anything anymore, I forgive you. Let’s just go back home so you can rest.”
You bring your hand up to grab hers. “Please.” You can see the hesitation on her face. You squeeze her hand lightly to reassure her, and you know you’ve won when she sighs.
“Fine. But I’m driving and the moment you show signs of sickness we’re going home.” Smiling, you nod excitedly.
“I’m coming with you guys.” You both jump at the new voice and turn around, Daniela pulling her hand from you at the sight of Yoonchae. The youngest stands by the door eyeing you two but doesn’t comment on it as she goes to sit in the chair next to the latina.
“Of course.” You tell her a bit too quickly causing her to glare at you.
“This doesn’t mean I forgive you. But…I understand cause I would do the same. Maybe not all this traveling, but I would keep it to myself to not worry you. So while I’m super mad at you, I also understand you and I won’t let me being angry make it so I’m potentially not there when you…” She trails off, refusing to say the word, but the way she swallows harshly you know what she means. You lean towards her, grabbing her hand in means of comforting.
“I’m glad you’re coming with us. I like it better this way.” And Dani quickly agrees which causes a small smile to make its way onto Yoonchae’s face. She shakes her head and pulls her hand away from you.
“Anyways, New York is quite far, huh?”
“Very.” Dani says.
“Well good thing I love a good road trip!”
“Oh thank god!” Yoonchae exclaims as she jumps out of the car. “I cannot be in that car anymore.”
“I thought you love road trips?” You ask as you slam the car door shut behind you, amusement clear in your voice.
“That wasn’t a road trip, that was eighteen hours of straight hell.”
“Yeah maybe because you have the patience of a two year old.” Daniela says as she comes around the car. “Now come help me with the bags.” She turns to you, her features softening. “Can you check us in?”
“Yeah, I got it.” You walk up the stairs and into the hotel. Checking in was quite fast and when you head back outside you see Yoonchae sitting on your suitcase. You shake your head and turn to Daniela. “We’re all good to go.” She nods and lifts your bag up, when she looks at Yoonchae the younger groans and stands up.
“I talked to Giselle by the way, she is going to send some of your clothes over here so you don't have to worry about that stuff.” However, at your words Yoonchae groans again to your confusion.
“Don’t even mention that woman’s name to me.” You laugh at her words and it makes Yoonchae glare at you as you guys walk into the elevator. “You’re laughing but she legit tortured me.”
“How so?” Daniela asks with real concern.
“By being so boring that I genuinely wanted to die.” She freezes at the word and looks at you quickly. “Sorry.”
You wave her off and shake your head with a smile. “You know you hate her for being boring, but she seemed to have kept you safe.”
“Yeah because everything was deemed a threat to her, like literally everything. You know I once offered her a lollipop and she said things like that lead to cavities and can ruin my teeth permanently and shouldn’t be eaten so casually.” You look away to hide your laughter and walk out the elevator when it reaches your floor, Yoonchae dragging your suitcase with huff as Daniela follows behind her with an amused smile.
“Where’d you even find her?” The youngest asks as you guys approach the door.
“A blind date if you could believe it.” You open the door and step to the side holding it open for the other two. “We realized we were incompatible.”
“AKA she was too serious and you were bored out of your mind.” Yoonchae says as she places your suitcase against the wall. Daniela places the other bags next to the suitcase and goes back near the door.
“I gotta go move the car and bring my suitcase up. While I’m gone you guys choose dinner?”
“No need, I already decided we will eat pizza!” Yoonchae exclaims as she jumps on one of the beds and when Daniela looks at you you simply nod in agreement. “Alright then, I’ll be back.” When the door shuts behind her you go to sit next to Yoonchae who is sighing happily. “Hey.” Yoonchae pops her head up and raises a brow. “Can we talk?” The younger nods and sits up, scooting to the edge of the bed to sit next to you. You inhale lightly before speaking.
“How are you feeling?”
“I should be asking you that.” You tilt your head to the side and Yoonchae sighs. “I’m okay.”
“You sure?” And Yoonchae shrugs at the question.
“I guess, I mean I’m as okay as I can be.” You nod and before you can speak again she starts. “What are we going to do?”
“What do you mean?”
She purses her lips, rubbing her hand slightly against her sweatpants. “Do you think Dani can pass the auditions?” She questions this time and you nod. “Then if she gets chosen, what do we do?”
“Go back to LA.” But the answer doesn’t seem to satisfy Yoonchae as she frowns.
“And what about when you?...Well, you know.” You nod slowly as you realize what the real question Yoonchae is asking.
“Well, when I die.” The reference to your future causes the girl to flinch and you rest a hand on her now fidgeting one. “You will continue the business while attending college where you will find a girl that will make you want to quit the business all together and live a happy life. And in the future if you decide to have a kid, whether fur or human, you will tell them about their awesome aunt that went away for a while because she was just too great to have forever.” You pout as you see Yoonchae’s eyes start to shine due to unshed tears. You pull her into a hug and feel your shoulder start to get wet as she begins to cry. “Most importantly you’ll be okay, it will hurt at first but you’ll be okay.” You pull away from her and see tears streaming down her face, and you are brought back to when you had first met her. Bringing a hand up, you wipe some tears away. “It’ll be okay, Chip, I promise. Now let’s not worry about the future, no matter how close or far it is. Let’s focus on now, the present, where I am here, okay, with you.”
She nods and you pull her back into a hug. And as you two sat there, holding each other, you didn’t know that there was someone else who had heard you two.
“Can you please sit down, you’re driving me insane.” Yoonchae says as you pace back and forth in the waiting room.
“I can’t help it, I’m nervous.”
“I don’t know why you know Dani is going to get it.” You sigh at her words, nodding reluctantly as you take the seat next to Yoonchae.
“Didn’t Dani seem off to you this morning?”
“Yeah probably cause you told her she was going to audition for a tour of nowhere. Now relax.”
You huff as you lean back in the seat. “Whatever.”
“Hey.” You both look up. “Is that seat taken?” The new girl points towards the empty seat on the other side of Yoonchae. When Yoonchae doesn’t respond you shake your head. “No.”
The mystery girl nods and takes a seat and you watch as the younger girl stiffens. The orange girl leans forward slightly to see you. “I’m Megan.” She puts her hand out and you shake it, when she puts her hand in front of Yoonchae the younger grabs it weakly and barely shakes it causing you to eye her weirdly.
“I’m Y/N and this is Yoonchae.” You answer for the two of you since the other seemed frozen. Megan smiles widely at you two and you see Yoonchae’s breath catch.
“Are you guys from around here?” Megan asks and you shake your head.
“No, we’re from LA.”
“LA?” Megan yells and you jump. “My bad.” She apologizes quickly, looking very sheepish. “Wanted a change of scenery? I can’t imagine there is a lack of auditions in LA.”
You chuckle and nod. “You can say that. Are you from here?”
“No, I’m actually from further up north, I just moved here recently cause I’m going to college here in the fall.”
“Oh?” You ask with genuine curiosity. “Which college?”
“NYU.” Your eyebrows raise in surprise as you nod to show you’re impressed. But before you can compliment her Yoonchae speaks for the first time.
“I am too!” Her response causes both you and Megan to look at her, though with two different reasons. You stare at her in confusion while Megan looks happy.
“You are?” Megan asks. “That’s so cool, what are you studying?”
Yoonchae swallows roughly as she thinks. “Umm…computer science.”
“Oo, that’s so cool. I’m going for biochem. Hey, let’s exchange numbers so we can hang, maybe we can even dorm together!”
You hold back laughter as Yoonchae nods a little bit too enthusiastically. When she almost drops her phone you almost crack, but are able to hold it in. An older woman steps out of the audition room with a clipboard in her hand.
“The next five people we are seeing are 2416, 2419, 2435, 2444, and 2452.” She then turns around and walks back into the room. Megan stands with a wide smile.
“That’s me, I’ll text you later?” Yoonchae nods quickly and Megan waves goodbye as she enters the room.
“So…I didn’t know you got into NYU?” You ask when you turn to Yoonchae and she groans.
“Shut up.”
You laugh and she starts to hit you. You both pause when someone stands in front of you. When you guys realize it’s Dani you both stand.
“Hey.” She says casually, but you don’t let it distract you.
“What happened? Did you get it?”
Daniela pauses before nodding. “I did.”
You and Yoonchae immediately start celebrating, pulling her into a hug, but Daniela doesn’t move. She pulls away from you two and looks at you guys seriously. “I’m not taking it.” You and Yoonchae stop celebrating, looking at her confused and shocked.
“What? Why not?” You ask.
“Because I don’t want to spend whatever time you have left traveling without you. I’d rather stay with you and Yoonchae.” You look at her in shock before slowly nodding.
“You sure?”
“Absolutely.”
“Well.” You wrap an arm around her and Yoonchae and start heading towards the exit. “How you feel about moving to New York?”
She looks at you confused. “New York?”
“Yup apparently Yoonchae got accepted to NYU.”
Yoonchae groans loudly and you laugh.
3 months later
Your eyes flutter open, wincing slightly when the sun shines in your eyes. When your eyes finally adjust you sigh happily at the sight of snow.
The move to New York wasn’t the easiest, especially with Yoonchae attending college, and having to adapt to the drastically different weathers the east had experienced. But you loved it, especially when it snowed.
You sighed going to shift, but pausing when you felt the familiar weight on your chest. Smiling, you lift your hand and run your fingers through the curly hair.
You and Dani were inevitable, once back in LA to pack up your places, you had sat down and talked both coming to realization you still loved each other and wanted to be together for however long you had left.
None of you had expected you to make it past the end of the month, but now, three months later, you and Dani couldn’t be happier.
You gently push her off of you and get out of bed, pausing when she shifts in her sleep. When she seemingly settles you cover her with the rest of your blanket and get ready for the day.
The pan sizzles softly as you place butter in it. Grabbing the bowl next to you you pour some batter into the pan. You wait until the side facing up begins to have bubbles before flipping it over. As you wait for the pancake to finish you feel hands wrap around you.
Dani exhales against your neck as her cold hands ease their way into your shirt. You yelp as the cold shocks you but she just shushes you.
“You weren’t in bed.” Her voice is riddled with sleep and has a rare deepness in it that runs chills down your spine.
You hum softly in response. “Making us breakfast.” You mutter out, as you remove the pancake from the pan and start another. She doesn’t respond as she pulls you impossibly closer and attempts to nuzzle her face deeper into your neck. You finish just like that, the only sounds coming from the snow hitting the window and the pan sizzling.
Dani refuses to separate from you even when you place a plate at the seat she usually does. Sighing softly you turn around and hug her, resting your head on hers.
“You okay?” You ask her lowly, not wanting to interrupt the peaceful atmosphere. She nods against you and lays a small kiss on the base of your neck before pulling away and sitting down. Her eyebrows furrow as you head back to the kitchen and come back with two more plates.
“Who are those for?” She asks.
“Who do you think?” You ask back playfully. As if timed you hear a knock on the door and go to open it. When you come back this time you’re no longer alone.
“Good morning!” Megan yells and Dani winces.
“Babe.” Yoonchae starts. “Dani isn’t a morning person, remember?”
The girl smiles sheepishly before apologizing and taking a seat in front of Daniela. You sit next to the blonde as Yoonchae goes to sit across from you.
You guys start to eat without another word. Once the first month had passed and you seemed to be getting better Yoonchae demanded you meet up daily, just in case something were to happen.
“Got any plans today?” You ask before taking another bite of your food.
“Class.” Yoonchae answers, her mouth full of food, but before you could scold her the girl beside her does it for you. “Sorry.” She says, her cheeks red in embarrassment.
“Do you guys have any plans?” Megan asks.
You shake your head slightly. “No, Dani has rehearsal later. So probably just finishing this show we’ve been binge watching.”
“Well actually,” Dani speaks for the first time. “Rehearsal was cancelled for today, so we can do anything.”
“Really?” You pause to think. “How about we go sledding?”
Dani perks up and nods excitedly.
“I wish we could go.” Megan pouts. “However, I know this really secret place you guys could go to. Discovered it when I first moved here, no one seems to know about it, I can send you the details later if you’d like.”
“That’d be great!”
When breakfast finishes the two college students leave, not after Yoonchae makes sure to remind you that she loves you which you assure her that you know and you love her too. And when Megan sends you the instructions on how to get to the place you and Dani get dressed and leave.
The heater blows loudly in the Jeep and Dani plays softly with your right hand. “How are you feeling?” She asks you. It was a question you were used to her and Yoonchae asking due to an underlying fear they have had since the moment they found out about your condition.
You bring her hand up to your lips and press a kiss softly to the back of it. “I’m okay.” She sighs softly and nods. You can feel a slight somberness fill the air and frown. “Hey, let’s worry about how I’m going to beat you in every race today.” That seems to be enough for Daniela's mind to shift.
“Yeah alright.” She pauses in thought. “Wanna make a bet?”
“I’m listening.”
“Whoever loses has to do the house chores for the next month.”
“Oh you’re on.”
When you guys arrive at the spot you are happy to see there are no other cars in the small parking lot. Going to the trunk you pull out two sleds, handing one to Daniela when she comes to your side.
With a sled in both of your hands you head start to head down the trail to the small slope Megan said would be there. The walk is a bit difficult due to the thickness of the snow, but you guys are in no rush so you don’t mind. Walking past a few trees you come to an opening where the snow is untouched and some tall plants pop up out of the ground.
Inhaling the cold air you close your eyes slightly, enjoying the cold biting at your cheeks. You open your eyes when Dani bumps you with her shoulder.
“You ready to get destroyed?” And when you nod she pushes you into the snow making you laugh in disbelief as she sleds down the small hill.
After a few races, with her taking victory, you both lay side by side at the end of the slope, snow wetting your hats and making chills run through you both. You don’t mind it though as you take in the blue of the sky.
“Hey.” She calls and you turn your head to look at her. “You think we can find a four leaf clover here?”
You sit up and look at her confused. “What?”
She raises her hand and in her gloved hand you see a clover. “So?” And that’s all it takes for you both to pop up, running opposite ways to be the first to find the clover.
You take off your gloves and stuff them in your pocket when you realize your hands are getting wet anyways. Brushing some snow back you find the layer of clovers, plucking some you sigh when you come up empty. Moving to another spot you do the same, only this time freezing when you find it. Plucking it you lift it up, laughing in disbelief at your find.
“Dani!” You exclaim, though you’re not too sure if she heard you as you look down again only this time your heart drops.
You feel the familiar feeling of wetness flow down your face, and on your hand you see red. Bringing your hand up you wipe at your nose in disbelief and when you pull it away to look you see blood. You let out a shaky breath as you stagger, your head throbbing in pure pain. When you try to walk you stumble, falling to the ground, and a gust of wind blows away the clover.
You can tell immediately that this is it. Death has found you finally and you’re terrified.
Your hand shakes as your vision goes blurry, sharp pains fill in your brain. Each breath you take is choked as you struggle, your chest staggering.
You lose feeling in your hands first, no longer do you feel the numbness of the cold. A tear runs down your face as you start to beg, though you are not sure to who. The sky is a flawless blue, the only white coming from a jet flying through the sky, but you are not at peace as you sob.
“Please.” You say, though it comes out low and barely even whole. Your life starts to flash in front of your eyes as your heart starts to slow and you try to push it away. But as your vision begins to blacken you know there is nothing you can do.
You hear Daniela screaming for you in the small moments of clarity you have and you use every bit of strength you have left to turn your head towards her. As your vision begins to flash in and out you see her running towards you, stumbling as she screams. You want to go to her. You want to get up and tell her you were just joking, and then call Yoonchae to tell her about the amazing prank you had just pulled. But you can’t.
Your vision darkens longer this time, almost as if you closed your eyes, but you know you didn’t. At least you think you didn’t, your body is no longer yours to control as your eyes feel heavy and the rest of you feels missing.
When you can see once more you see Dani is in front of you and she’s sobbing, you so badly want to tell her it’s okay, but no words leave your mouth. She picks up your hand and puts it on her cheek, and you wish you could feel her warmth one last time. Your eyes shut once more, and when you open them again you know it will be the last time that you do.
You see Dani speaking, but your hearing is long gone, as terrible silence fills you now. With one last look at her you try to convey that it’ll be okay, that you love her and Yoonchae. You watch her press a kiss to your palm before the darkness takes over you.
#daniela avanzini#daniela katseye#daniela avanzini x reader#katseye#katseye imagines#katseye x reader#katseye x y/n#fem reader#🧸writes#autumnleaves
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Foul Play - Chapter 3
paige x azzi (pazzi)
au fic!
word count: 5.1k
warning: language
hey guyssss heres chap 3 !! i literally had multiple mind blanks while writing this so im not sure if it even makes sense or if its even good 😭 but yea other than that theres nth rlly much to say but if u didnt see my post earlier, i will be busy this weekend so i wont be able to write as much... anyways i hope u guys enjoy this chapter !! 🫶🏽 feel free to send thru ideas that i can take into consideration for future chapters ! 🥊
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Paige stepped out of her dorm early in the morning. A slight chill lingered in the air, clinging to her skin as she tugged a hoodie over her head and adjusted the drawstrings. The campus was mostly asleep, still wrapped in silence.
Instead of heading to the gym, she veered off down a quieter path toward one of the outdoor rec courts tucked near the back edge of campus. It wasn’t fancy but it was empty, and that’s what Paige needed. Just space. Air. No eyes on her. No bullshit.
She dropped the basketball onto the concrete and bounced it a few times, testing the way it echoed through the morning quiet. Then, without warming up, she stepped back behind the arc and fired.
Swish.
“Fuck Marcus,” she muttered, catching the rebound on a lazy bounce and stepping back to the top of the key. “Always pulling strings like he’s slick. Like I can’t see through that stupid ass head.”
Another shot hit the back iron and rolled out.
Paige cursed under her breath, chasing it down and spinning it back to her fingertips. She squared her shoulders, bounced once, and fired again.
Swish.
“Fake as hell. Always has been.”
She moved around the arc, settling into a rhythm, her body loosening with each motion, but her mind still clamped tight around the anger she hadn’t shaken since yesterday. Another shot.
Swish.
“And Azzi…” She scoffed under her breath, grabbing the ball again. “Little miss perfect attitude. Giving dirties like I’m the bad guy when she’s dating the fucking snake.”
She launched again. Clang.
“Fuck.” Paige exhaled through her nose, jaw tight. She hated how they were both living in her head like this. She wasn’t supposed to care, well, she didn’t care. At least that’s what she kept trying to convince herself. But the whole situation kept scratching at her insides like an itch she couldn’t reach.
She walked to half-court and stood still for a second, hands resting on her hips, breathing heavy.
“Can’t believe I ever had dumbass’ back,” she muttered, squinting at the hoop. “And now he’s out here tryna mess up everything. Again.”
She dribbled twice, dropped low into her stance, then took off toward the basket in a quick drive. Hard stop, spin, fadeaway.
Swish.
She let the follow-through hang for a second longer than needed, then dropped her arms and shook her head.
“Yea. Keep watching. Let’s see who gets fucked over this time.”
She kept at it, over and over again—every shot a word, every miss a curse, every swish a release. Her hoodie was damp by the time she finally stopped, hands on her knees, chest rising and falling.
Paige finally sat on the court, legs outstretched, ball cradled beside her. Her heart was still racing, but the edge had dulled slightly. For now, it was just her, the sky, and the echo of her own voice talking shit to ghosts that weren’t there but still somehow haunted her all the same.
As the minutes dragged on, the sweat started cooling against her back and the adrenaline slowly drained. She leaned her head back staring up at the sky, trying to slow her thoughts.
But then movement caught her eye.
Across the quad from the court, a door opened.
She blinked, watching absently at first until she saw them.
Jayla stepped out, hoodie tugged low and hair messy like she hadn’t fully fixed herself yet. And right behind her was Marcus, stretching lazily as he lingered in the doorway. Paige sat upright, heart rate spiking again.
They were laughing about something, low and quiet. Jayla swatted at his arm like he said something dumb, and Marcus leaned in murmuring something into her ear.
Without thinking, Paige grabbed her phone. She zoomed in slightly and took a photo of Jayla standing too close while Marcus whispering, half-turned, his hand casually brushing her hip as he stepped away.
She stared at the screen for a second, thumb hovering before locking it. Just a receipt. Not for now. But for if shit blew up. If Azzi started acting brand new again. If Jayla came back with some other fake excuse.
“I fucken knew it,” she muttered.
The same Jayla who canceled on her last night, mid-argument with Marcus. The same Jayla who texted her she “wasn’t interested anymore.”
And there she was, right in front of Paige’s face, hair messy, mouth smiling, standing just close enough to Marcus to kill every excuse Paige tried to build in her head.
Paige just watched with her jaw tight.
Marcus reached out and tugged the edge of Jayla’s sleeve playfully before turning to head off in the opposite direction. Jayla stayed leaning on the door frame, watching him go with a small smirk like they shared some private joke.
“Unreal,” Paige muttered under her breath, standing up with a rough push off the concrete. She picked up her ball and tucked it under her arm, chest still burning with fresh betrayal, old anger, and a fucked up sense of deja vu.
She pulled her phone out again, typed out a quick text to Aubrey.
Paige: omw to urs
Paige: need to be around someone not fake before i throw hands
She shoved the phone in her pocket, turned toward the path, and started walking faster than necessary. Every step was heavy, but all she could think about was getting to Aubrey’s dorm before she said something or did something she couldn’t take back.
Her knuckles were white around the basketball as she reached Aubrey’s dorm building, shoving through the front doors with more force than necessary. She took the stairs 2 at a time, her hoodie sticking to her back with cold sweat and her jaw locked tight. By the time she knocked on Aubrey’s door, her pulse hadn’t slowed.
Aubrey swung the door open, still in her sleep shirt, one sock halfway on and hair shoved into a lazy bun. “Geez,” she blinked. “You look like you are about to kill someone.”
“I am,” Paige snapped, pushing past her and dropping the ball onto the floor with a thud. “I’m so fucking sick of this shit.”
Aubrey closed the door behind her. “Ok. Sit. Talk.”
Paige didn’t sit. She paced. “It’s not Jayla. I mean—I’m not mad at her, not really. She don’t owe me anything, whatever. But Marcus, that piece of shit is always ruining shit for me. Every time I start to get peace, he just shows up. In my past. In my face. In someone else’s bed.”
Aubrey leaned back against her drawer, arms crossed, letting her get it out.
Paige stopped pacing long enough to yank her phone from her pocket. “Tell me this don’t look sus as hell.”
She turned the screen toward Aubrey, showing her the photo of Marcus whispering into Jayla’s ear, his hand just grazing her hip as she stood in the doorway, clearly fresh out of bed.
Aubrey raised her brows. “Well, damn.”
“I’m not tryna assume,” Paige muttered quickly, dragging the phone back to herself. “Like—I don’t know what happened last night. But knowing Marcus ?” Her voice cracked a little with rage, “They probably fucked. He don’t hang around girls for fun.”
“Paige…”
“Don’t say it,” Paige cut her off. “Don’t say I should talk to Jayla yet. I will. Later. I just needed to not be alone right now or I was gonna lose my shit.”
Aubrey held her hands up. “Ok. I won’t say that.”
Paige dropped onto Aubrey’s bed finally, head in her hands. “And don’t tell anyone about that picture.”
“I won’t,” Aubrey said quickly. “You know I won’t.”
There was a long pause before Aubrey added, “You should show Azzi.”
Paige looked up, eyes sharp. “Fuck no.”
“Paige—”
“She’s not my problem,” Paige snapped. “Let her find out her own way. I’m not saving her from shit.”
Aubrey didn’t push, just nodded once.
Paige leaned back, staring at the ceiling. “I’m gonna find Jayla before practice. Talk to her face to face.”
“You sure that’s a good idea ?”
“I’m not sure of anything,” Paige said. “But I need to look her in the eye. Hear whatever bullshit excuse she’s got. If she’s real about it, cool. If not ? Then I know where we stand.”
Aubrey tossed her a water bottle. “Well… at least drink something before you go confronting people later.”
Paige caught it with a tired smirk. “Thanks, mum.”
—---------------------------------------------------
Across the campus, Azzi stood in front of her mirror, dragging a brush through her curls with slow strokes. Her jaw still ached from how hard she’d been clenching it the night before, and sleep hadn’t done much to soften the knot of irritation sitting in her chest. She felt anything but calm.
She was halfway through pulling her hoodie over her head when a knock landed at the door.
She frowned, moving to open it, expecting maybe Caroline or Kaitlyn—but instead, it was Marcus.
Azzi blinked. “Seriously ?”
He gave her a crooked smile that used to work on her. “I just… wanted to say sorry. For yesterday.”
Azzi crossed her arms. “You mean for bailing last minute with no real explanation after we planned that day all week ?”
Marcus rubbed the back of his neck. “Yea. I know. I fucked up, babe. I had some shit come up—stuff I couldn’t blow off. But I should’ve called. I should’ve said something better than just ‘I’m busy.’ That was weak. I get it.”
She didn’t respond right away. She just watched him. He was in sweats, jacket half-zipped, eyes tired like he hadn’t slept great either. For a split second, she considered slamming the door in his face but then his voice softened.
“I hate letting you down,” he added, voice low, “I just…I don’t know. My head’s been all over the place lately. But I’m here now. Can I make it up to you ?”
Azzi stared at him, her stomach twisting in a way she couldn’t name. She wanted to stay mad. She should’ve stayed mad. But instead, she sighed, stepping aside and letting him in.
Marcus slid past her quietly, and she shut the door behind him, leaning back against it.
“You can’t keep pulling this shit,” she muttered. “This ‘something came up’ act. It’s starting to feel like I’m not a priority.”
“You are,” he said quickly, moving closer. “You are, Az. I just suck at showing it sometimes. But I care about you. I swear.”
She searched his face, trying to read something deeper beneath the apology, some crack in the surface but there was nothing. Just those soft eyes and that familiar voice, saying all the right things in all the right ways.
Azzi exhaled slowly, tension easing in her chest. “Fine. But you’re buying me breakfast.”
Marcus grinned. “Bet.”
They sat down on her bed, Marcus pulling Azzi’s legs into his lap as they leaned back against the headboard, scrolling through food delivery options on his phone. Azzi let her head fall onto his shoulder, eyes half-lidded, the warmth of his body sinking into her skin.
A few quiet minutes passed as they sat together, the hum of Marcus’s voice filling the room while he scrolled on his phone.
“You want pancakes or something heavier ?” he asked, glancing at her briefly.
Azzi gave a small shrug. “Pancakes are fine.”
He clicked through a few menus, completely content, like everything was back to normal. Like she hadn’t been up half the night feeling like shit. Azzi watched him for a second. The smile on his face, the way he absentmindedly rubbed her shin with his thumb. It all looked good. It all felt good. But something about it didn’t sit right.
“You got anything going on tomorrow ?” he asked casually, still tapping at his screen.
Azzi blinked. “Tomorrow ?”
“Yea, like afternoon. Thought maybe I’d grab us a late lunch. There’s that new burger spot off campus. I could pick you up around three ?”
She pulled back slightly, just enough to look at him. “I’ve got a game tomorrow.”
Marcus glanced up. “Wait, really ?”
“Yea,” she said flatly. “Trial game. Against georgetown.”
His brow furrowed, just slightly. “Since when ?”
Azzi scoffed. “Since last week, Marcus. I’ve mentioned it like three times.”
He blinked, then looked away, rubbing at his jaw. “Damn. My bad. I must’ve zoned out or something.”
Azzi pulled her legs out of his lap, sitting up a little straighter. “You didn’t zone out. You just don’t listen when I talk about soccer unless I’m scoring.”
Marcus raised both hands like he was surrendering. “Alright, chill, I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“You never do,” she muttered.
There was a pause before Marcus tried to shift the mood back, flashing her a lazy grin. “Okok. My bad. But I’ll come to the game. I’ll be there.”
Azzi’s stomach twisted. She didn’t know if it was guilt, or doubt, or just tiredness, but the last thing she wanted was him showing up out of nowhere after being mia.
“You don’t have to,” she said, already grabbing her phone.
“Nah, I want to,” he insisted, leaning in again. “Text me the time. I’ll show up, front row, loud as.”
Azzi forced a smile. “Sure.”
But in her head, she was already wondering what excuse he’d have this time.
—---------------------------------------------------
It was now late afternoon when Paige wandered to the back corridors of the rec center with her hoodie slung over a shoulder and her bag hanging low off the other. She wasn’t even sure why she was still trying to find Jayla. Maybe part of her needed closure. Maybe part of her wanted to catch her slipping. Or maybe she just wanted the truth.
Her eyes scanned the clusters of athletes filtering in for their sessions, but there was no sign of Jayla. Not in the hallway. Not near the locker rooms. Not courtside. Paige felt her jaw tighten until she finally saw her by the vending machines near the back exit, Jayla stood alone, fiddling with her phone, airpods in. She looked tense with her shoulders high, posture closed off, like she already knew someone was coming.
Paige approached slowly.
Jayla glanced up and flinched, her eyes flicking around like she was half-preparing to bolt. “Paige.”
“You free to talk ?” Paige asked evenly, voice low.
Jayla hesitated before nodding, pulling her airpods out. “Yea. Sure.”
They moved into a quiet corner between two practice rooms, out of view.
Paige crossed her arms. “So… you really gonna ghost me with a dry-ass text ?”
Jayla looked down. “I didn’t mean to ghost. I just—”
“You just weren’t interested anymore,” Paige finished for her, voice clipped.
Jayla flinched again but nodded. “That’s what I said, yea.”
Paige studied her face. The avoidance in her eyes. The way her fingers twisted the hem of her sleeve. “You didn’t even give me a proper reason.”
Jayla swallowed, voice tight. “I didn’t have one.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“I know.” She looked up at Paige finally. Eyes soft. Guilty. “I know. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just… I messed up.”
Paige raised an eyebrow. “So you’re not gonna tell me what really happened ?”
Jayla opened her mouth then froze. Something behind her eyes shifted. Like she was about to say something important, and then swallowed it down. Her hand gripped the strap of her bag tight, her nails digging in.
“I can’t,” she whispered.
Paige’s jaw twitched. “Can’t or won’t ?”
Jayla didn’t answer right away. Her breath came shallow. Then, softly “I’m sorry. That’s all I can say.”
Paige leaned in, gaze sharp but not cruel. “So something did happen.”
Jayla’s eyes flickered just for a second. Fear. Guilt. Regret. She didn’t nod. Didn’t speak. But that silence said everything.
“I just wish you’d been straight with me,” Paige said, backing off half a step. “You could’ve told me you weren’t safe to be real. I wouldn’t have pushed.”
Jayla looked like she might cry for a second. “It’s not like that.”
“It never is, until it is.”
Jayla sniffed and wiped at her cheek quickly, then cleared her throat. “You didn’t deserve it. I should’ve been honest. You didn’t deserve to be left hanging like that.”
Paige gave a small nod. “You good tho ?”
Jayla blinked at her, surprised. “Yea. I’m fine.”
“You sure ?”
Jayla hesitated. “…Yea.”
Paige didn’t believe her. Not fully. But she didn’t press. She just looked at her 1 last time, then turned to leave.
“Thanks for telling me what you could,” she said over her shoulder.
Jayla didn’t reply. But as Paige walked away, she felt a weight settle in her chest. Not just betrayal. Not just anger. But something colder.
A new understanding of just how deep Marcus’s toxicity ran.
She was still replaying Jayla’s silence in her head when she rounded the corner and almost walked straight into Azzi.
Azzi stepped in her path.
“What the fuck did you say to her ?”
Paige blinked like she wasn’t expecting it, then laughed under her breath. “Relax.”
“Don’t tell me to relax,” Azzi snapped, stepping closer. “She looked scared.”
“Because the truth is scary,” Paige said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
Azzi’s jaw clenched. “You’re a fucking bitch, you know that ?”
Paige stopped walking, chest rising. She turned slowly, meeting Azzi’s glare with one of her own. “If I was a bitch, I would’ve fucked everything up for you already.”
Azzi’s expression faltered just enough to catch it.
Paige took a single step forward, voice low and hard. “Your boyfriend cancelled on you last night, right ? Maybe you’d wanna ask him why.”
Azzi’s mouth opened then shut it. Her chest tightened, the sting immediate. But she straightened her spine and fired back, “He already told me. He got caught up in some shit. Stuff he couldn’t blow off.”
Paige let out a sharp, humourless breath. “Shiiii you’re dumber than I thought.”
Azzi’s eyes blazed. “Fuck you.”
“No thanks,” Paige shot back, stepping in again almost nose-to-nose. “You let him say whatever he wants. Do whatever he wants. You’re not just dumb, Azzi. You’re easy.”
Azzi’s hand twitched at her side.
Before it could escalate further, hurried footsteps pounded the floor.
“Azzi—hey !”
Caroline’s voice cracked through as she jogged up, Kaitlyn right behind her.
Caroline slipped between them fast, arm out like a barrier. “Hey. Chill the fuck out.”
Kaitlyn grabbed Azzi gently by the elbow, tugging her back. “Let’s go. Practice starts soon.”
Azzi didn’t move for a second. She just stared at Paige like she wanted to hit her.
Paige didn’t flinch.
Caroline shot Paige a warning look, then turned to Azzi. “Cmon Az. Don’t let her get in your head.”
Azzi let herself be pulled back slowly, her heart racing. Paige stayed rooted where she was, watching her like she was waiting for her to wake up.
“Ask him,” Paige called, voice calm. “If you actually care.”
And then she turned, disappearing down the hall like she hadn’t just cracked something wide open.
Azzi stormed down the hallway with Caroline and Kaitlyn on each side of her, her fists clenched and breath coming faster than she wanted to admit. Her face was stone, but her heartbeat was thudding in her ears.
“Jesus,” Kaitlyn muttered once they were out of earshot. “What the hell was that ?”
Caroline narrowed her eyes, glancing over her shoulder like Paige might come charging back. “Yea, what even started that ?”
Azzi didn’t answer right away. She kept walking, refusing to look shaken.
“Az ?” Caroline pressed again.
Azzi let out a dry laugh. “She’s just mad Jayla doesn’t want her.”
Kaitlyn blinked. “Wait—Jayla ? Like… volleyball Jayla ?”
“Yup,” Azzi said, popping the p. “Caught them in some shady-looking corner talk and Paige got all defensive when I asked about it.”
Caroline exchanged a glance with Kaitlyn. “It looked like you were about to rip her throat out.”
“She was being a bitch,” Azzi snapped, rolling her eyes. “Talking like she knows my life. Like she knows Marcus.”
Kaitlyn raised her brows. “Was she saying stuff about him ?”
“She tried to act all mysterious. Said I should ‘ask him why he cancelled on me last night,’” Azzi said with air quotes and a mocking tone. “Like I didn’t already talk to him. Like I’m stupid.”
Caroline hesitated. “You did talk to him though, right ?”
“Obviously,” Azzi snapped, sharper than she meant. “He came by this morning. Said he had shit come up. I believe him. Not everything has to be drama.”
Kaitlyn pressed her lips together. “You’ve got a trial game tomorrow. Don’t let that stuff mess with your head.”
Azzi nodded once. “It’s not. I’m locked in.”
Caroline threw an arm around her shoulders as they headed toward the locker room. “Then don’t let Paige get under your skin. She wants a reaction.”
“She’s not getting one,” Azzi said casually, staring straight ahead.
She believed Marcus this morning. She still did. But something in Paige’s voice had stuck in her—sharp and irritating.
Still, she shoved it down. Game was tomorrow. Focus came first.
Whatever Paige thought she knew, it didn’t matter. Azzi wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.
—---------------------------------------------------
The gym echoed with balls bouncing and shoes squeaking on hardwod. Practice hadn’t officially started yet, but a few girls were already warming up on the court, laughing, attempting trick shots, stretching.
KK stood near the rack of basketballs with Ice and Sarah, whispering something while half-grinning. Sarah held a roll of athletic tape behind her back, eyes darting between KK and the locker room door like she was timing something.
“Ok,” KK whispered. “Paige comes in, we tape her ankles together, and pretend it’s a bonding drill—”
“Absolutely not,” Aubrey cut in, stepping in from the door.
KK blinked. “What ? Why ?”
Aubrey just tilted her chin toward the locker room door. “Look.”
A beat later, Paige stormed onto the court throwing her bag down harder than necessary, sleeves shoved up past her elbows, expression tight. Her brows were furrowed and her mouth set in a hard, pissed-off line.
Sarah took 1 look at her and muttered, “Abort mission.”
Paige grabbed a ball from the rack and immediately started doing aggressive dribble combos—hard slams into the floor like she was trying to drive it through the floor.
Aubrey walked over slowly, keeping her voice low. “Yo. What happened ?”
Paige didn’t stop dribbling. “Don’t ask me about her.”
Aubrey blinked. “Jayla ?”
“No,” Paige said, ball snapping up into her hands. “Azzi.”
Aubrey’s head tilted slightly. “Why ?”
Paige exhaled hard, like she’d been holding it in all day. “I showed up to Jayla, talked to her face to face. She was clearly scared, dodging around everything but it’s obvious. Something happened. I didn’t need to push harder. I got my answer.”
“So, what does Azzi got to do wit it ?”
Paige ran her hand through her hair, the hoodie slipping further down her shoulder. “She saw us. Me and Jayla. And immediately came at me like I was the bad guy.”
“She confronted you ?”
“Yep. She called me a bitch. I snapped. I said some shit I maybe shouldn’t have but I was done being nice about it.”
Aubrey crossed her arms, keeping her voice low and even. “Did you show her the picture ?”
Paige scoffed. “No. I told her to ask him.”
Aubrey stared. “Paige…”
“I’m not doing her thinking for her, Aubs,” Paige muttered, tossing the ball hard off the wall. “She’s already made up her mind who the one in the wrong is. If she wants to keep believing Marcus gives a shit about her, she can choke on that bullshit.”
Aubrey stayed quiet for a second, watching Paige breathe heavy through her nose.
“Still,” she said gently, “the pic could’ve helped her listen.”
Paige turned to her, voice cold. “I gave her the match. If she wants to burn the house down, that’s on her.”
And with that, Paige turned and jogged to join the rest of the team for warmups, fury still simmering just beneath the surface.
Aubrey watched her go.
KK wandered over, whispering to Aubrey again. “Ok so… still no prank ?”
Aubrey didn’t even look at her. “Bruh. Read the room.”
KK backed off, hands up. “Noted.”
—---------------------------------------------------
They wrapped up practice about an hour and a half later, sweat-slick and breathless under the fading light. The sun was sinking low over the field, casting long shadows across the grass as the early evening air cooled. Azzi wiped her face with the hem of her jersey and kicked off her cleats, tossing them into her bag, her mind already half on tomorrow.
Caroline stretched her arms over her head with a groan. “My legs are done. If georgetown doesn’t show up with ice baths and respect, I’m gonna riot.”
Kaitlyn chuckled, flicking her water bottle cap at her. “You’re so dramatic.”
“I’m realistic,” Caroline fired back. “They’re aggressive as hell. We’ve gotta be locked in.”
Azzi nodded silently, eyes still on the field behind them, unfocused.
Caroline nudged her. “You good ?”
“Yea,” Azzi said, forcing a small grin. “Just tired. Thinking about tomorrow.”
“Trial game nerves?” Kaitlyn asked, bumping her shoulder playfully. “You’ll kill it. We all will.”
Azzi gave a quick nod. “Yea. I’m ready.”
They walked a little further, the gravel crunching under their sneakers.
“Marcus is coming,” Azzi added casually, like she wasn’t already bracing herself for a reaction.
Kaitlyn glanced at Caroline, then back at Azzi. “Oh.”
Caroline kept her expression neutral. “Nice. He’s… showing up ?”
Azzi caught the loaded pause but ignored it. “Yea. He said he’ll be front row. Loud and all.”
Kaitlyn chewed the inside of her cheek for a beat. “Cool. Hopefully he brings snacks or something.”
Azzi let out a short laugh but didn’t look at either of them. “He’s trying. That’s what matters, right ?”
Caroline finally spoke. “Yea. Just… you know. Focus on you tomorrow. No distractions.”
Azzi nodded again, more stiffly this time. “I am. I will.”
But she could still feel Paige’s words in her head.
“Ask him, if you actually care.”
Azzi tried to shake it, tightening her hair like it would somehow tighten her focus too. She wasn’t going to spiral. Not now.
“You guys wanna get a bite ?” Caroline offered as they reached the parking lot. “Fuel up for domination ?”
Kaitlyn slung her bag over 1 shoulder. “Only if we get those chicken wraps again.”
Azzi hesitated, then gave a small smile. “You guys go. I think I’m just gonna head back. Shower, get my hair done then chill.”
Caroline raised an eyebrow but didn’t push. “Alright. We’ll see you tomorrow ?”
“Bright and early,” Azzi promised.
They exchanged brief goodbyes before splitting off. Azzi walked the rest of the way back alone. Her fingers hovered over Marcus’ name in her messages for a second.
Then she locked her phone and shoved it into her pocket.
She’d see him tomorrow anyways.
—---------------------------------------------------
Paige was out the door as soon as practice finished without a post-practice stretch, no fist bumps, no banter. Just a muttered “I’m out” to Geno and the sharp slam of the exit as she stormed through it.
She didn’t stop walking until she hit her dorm.
The second the door clicked behind her, she dropped her bag, peeled off her hoodie, and kicked off her shoes hard enough to knock 1 under the desk. She sat on the edge of her bed, breathing heavy, palms planted on her thighs bracing herself.
No music. No tv. Just silence and the hum of early evening campus life outside the window.
A soft knock broke through the quiet.
Paige didn’t move.
Another knock, this one followed by, “Paige. It’s me.”
She sighed through her nose. “It’s open.”
Aubrey eased the door open and stepped in, closing it behind her without a word. She leaned against the dresser and crossed her arms, scanning Paige for a second before speaking.
“You didn’t say bye.”
“I didn’t feel like talking,” Paige muttered.
“Clearly.”
Aubrey stayed quiet for a beat before pushing off the dresser and sitting on the desk chair across from her. “I know I asked… But why didn’t you just show her the picture?”
Paige’s jaw ticked. “Well if she wasn’t such a bitch, I would’ve.”
Aubrey blinked. “Seriously ?”
“Yea. If she hadn’t come at me like she did then maybe I would’ve helped her out. Maybe I would’ve let her in.” Paige’s voice was bitter. “But nah. She can suffer. Let her be with that dickhead. That’s what she picked.”
Aubrey exhaled. “Paige—”
“I’m serious,” Paige cut in. “She chose him. She defends him like he’s got some halo floating above that big ass ego. Fuck that.”
Aubrey leaned forward a little. “Ok, but if you’d shown her the picture—if you’d let her see what he’s actually doing, maybe it would’ve ruined him. You would’ve gotten your payback.”
Paige let out a humorless laugh. “That’s not how I want my payback.”
Aubrey paused. “Then how ?”
Paige didn’t answer right away. She just looked away, lips pressed tight.
Aubrey narrowed her eyes. “Paige…”
Still nothing.
“…Who are you even trying to hurt ?”
Paige looked back at her finally, eyes cold. “Him.”
Aubrey didn’t flinch. “You sure ? Cause if you want to do what I think you’re thinking about doing, you’re not just hurting him.”
Paige shrugged. “Collateral damage.”
Aubrey stared at her. “So Azzi’s just that now ? Collateral ?”
“She’s made it clear she hates me,” Paige said flatly. “So why the fuck should I care ?”
“Maybe because she doesn’t know anything,” Aubrey snapped. “Maybe because all she sees is you blowing through people like a hurricane and thinks that’s all you are.”
“She could’ve asked. She could’ve stopped assuming the worst.”
Aubrey’s voice dropped. “Do you think she even knows what happened back then ? Between you and Marcus ?”
Paige’s mouth twitched. “Knowing him ? He probably fed her some bullshit story. Played victim. Probs told her I was crazy or some shit.”
“Then tell her the truth.”
“No,” Paige said, tone like steel. “I’m not handing her the truth like a gift. Not when she’s acting like this. She doesn’t want the truth. She wants someone to blame.”
“She already has someone to blame,” Aubrey said quietly. “You.”
Paige swallowed. Something flickered in her eyes but it vanished just as fast.
“Good,” she said. “Let her.”
Aubrey leaned back, lips pursed. “You’re seriously gonna go through with it ?”
Paige didn’t say a word.
Aubrey exhaled, standing up slowly. “I hope, when this is all over… it feels worth it.”
Then she walked to the door, pausing with her hand on the knob. “Because hurting someone who doesn’t even know they’re in the middle of a war ? That’s not revenge Paige. That’s cruelty. And it’s just gonna make everything more complicated.”
And with that, she slipped out, leaving Paige sitting alone in the silence again with her heart thudding, mind racing, jaw clenched so tight it hurt.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#paige bueckers#azzi fudd#paige x azzi#pazzi fics#pazzi#uconn#uconn wbb#uconn women’s basketball#uconn huskies#ncaa wbb#wbb#wnba basketball#dallas wings#womens basketball#wnba
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Ever since you stopped using his Spotify account in the mornings, you find other ways to mess with your boyfriend.
A short continuation of this fic, but can be read as a standalone.
content: fluff, established relationship, idol!Jihoon, banter, reader and jihoon just have a permanent jam session going on, they’re in love i swear
wc: 857
note: ahhh they’re back!! thank you to everyone who read the first part and gave it love😊 this has been rotting my brain for a while and i originally was playing with this concept for the original but couldn’t pull it together but we’re here now! shoutout to @highvern because it was partly inspired by her fic “Between the Titles” which is such a great read that i highly recommend along with literally everything else she writes!! all the songs featured here are real and from an era of kpop I hold near and dear to my heart so if you recognize any of them, you’re a real one 🥰
Jihoon is not a morning person, never has been. As he sits in the dressing room of the filming studio, he can feel his eyelids getting increasingly heavy. Some of his members are actively sleeping, in fact, and Jihoon knows he’ll be joining them soon if Wonwoo takes any longer in that makeup chair.
Blasting in his ears is his usual Bruno Mars playlist, a sad attempt to try to recover his energy before he knocks out next to Mingyu sleeping on a mat on the floor, but to no avail because his mind slowly slips away until a piercing airhorn noise jolts him awake.
SEVENTEEN TEEN TEEN NEOWANA SAI E
Uhh. This was definitely not his Daily Bruno Mars Mix.
He immediately searches his screen to find out what happened when he finds his answer in the form of a text from you.
[8:18 am] good morning sleepyhead :)
[8:18 am] hope I didnt scare you too bad :)
He scrunches his face up in disbelief, half amused that you managed to catch him off guard with possibly the most annoying wake up song on Seventeen’s discography, and half annoyed at the realization that he must’ve forgotten to cancel your Spotify Jam session from yesterday.
He decides to leave your text on read. After all, he has plenty of time to be petty today. Furiously searching through his library, he queues up a song and before Mingyu can finish singing the first chorus, he smashes the next track button in smug anticipation.
Now Playing: Fxxk U • Gain, Bumkey
And he doesn’t have to wait long before he gets your reply.
[8:20 am] oh i see how it is
Now Playing: This is War • MBLAQ
If Jihoon wasn’t awake before, he definitely is now. Even as he gets called in to do his makeup next, he thinks carefully about his next move.
Now Playing: LOSER • BIGBANG
…
Now Playing: WHO, YOU? • G-DRAGON
An audible scoffs escapes from his lips as he involuntarily tilts his head back in amusement, much to the dismay of his makeup artist who had just started on his foundation. He mutters a shy sorry before resuming his search for a reply. Maybe he needs to take a different approach to this if he hopes to continue having Jam sessions with you in the future.
Now Playing: Whatcha Doin’ Today • 4Minute
As Jihoon eventually discovers, his hopes to change the topic of conversation were in vain as two songs were suddenly queued one after another.
Now Playing: Why Don’t You Know • CHUNG HA, Nucksal
Next in Queue: Mind Your Own Business • Ailee
Jihoon thinks he’s met his match, coming to the realization that he could never out sass the love of his life. But he wasn’t willing to back down so easily either.
Now Playing: I’m so sick • Apink
Next in Queue: Because of you • After School
Your next move nearly sends him to tears.
Now Playing: Excuse Me • AOA
Next in Queue: You Don’t Love Me • Spica
Next in Queue: I ain’t going home tonight • Navi, Geeks
Next in Queue: I Don’t Need a Man • miss A
As he chuckles to himself for what seems like the hundredth time this morning, this newfound form of entertainment suddenly becomes incredibly precious. Although you see each other nearly every day, Jihoon realizes just how much he misses you, talking to you about everything and nothing at all, bantering like you’ve known each other for your entire lives.
Now Playing: Am I too easy? • U-KISS
...
Now Playing: Mystery • Beast
Even though he couldn’t be with you physically, he knew you were enjoying yourself just as much as him on the other side. He could almost picture your smile of satisfaction as you found your next song, knowing that he would appreciate your humor. And appreciate he did, happily tapping away at his screen until his makeup artist puts on his finishing touches and tells him to call the next member.
Now Playing: Gotta Go • CHUNG HA
Next in Queue: I’m Busy • 2NE1
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Now Playing: Okay Dokey • MINO, ZICO
Little does he know that his members are in the corner snickering at the sight, knowing that only one thing could have their producer smiling like an idiot at his phone the whole morning.
Soon enough, Jihoon and his members get swept up into their schedule involving the filming of various contents for their Youtube Channel, a task that usually takes the entire day if a game is involved. Thankfully, the game allowed for members to go home early, a rare treat considering how competitive his members can get when it comes to shooting content.
After his usual rounds of “good work everyone” to the company staff and his members, he gets ready to see the person who been on his mind (and in his ears) since the morning. Taking out his phone, he queues one last song while exiting the building.
Now Playing: Run to you • SEVENTEEN
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Stop Obsessing Over The Void And Subliminals (kinda rude rant)
as a person who started interest in the loa in late 2020 discovering subliminals. LOA is simple, idk why it took me 4 years to understand. manifesting is easy.
if you have struggles with manifesting. don't panic imma help you from being like me 😜.
1. Realize you are in control
Stop STOP and i mean fucking STOP. Giving the void and subliminals so much fucking power and bitching about it " OH MY GOSH i didnt enter the void wtf am i gonna doooo 😪 " or " THE SUBLIMINAL SAID 5 Seconds and it would work where is my SP? "
like gorl u sound desperate as fuckkkkk lol
but heres how we change this. first the problem is YOU. why the fuck you depending on some tool? thats like me depending on my feet to make my decisions and getting mad when my feet dont say shit back to me. LOL
but no you just need to strengthen your self concept. you can do this BYYYYY
- repeating affirmations during the day
- changing your thoughts
- Rampages
- &&&& Drumroll pleaaaaseeeee .... 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁
Sleep affirmations. they slip into your consciousness at night :)....At the end i will link my FAVORITE VIDEOS, for the self concept.
2. MANIFEST
oh shit you thought this was gon be long huh? no bookie its just two things. better your self concept and start manifesting. NOW i am gonna some tips.
stop giving the 3d power when you make the 3d...
EXAMPLE:
you start your day saying " oh i have my ideal body im soooo freaking happy i finally did it, like i been x pounds for everrr and i love my body "
and then the second you look in the mirror you like " damn bruh i wish i had my ideal body "
cause like why tf did you just ruin your fucking manifestation, why did you fucking react????
When you look in that mirror this is what they mean by " old story ".
Instead, look in the mirror and close your eyes and imagine your ideal body, or just deny it. " who the fuck is that in the mirror, gorll ik thats not me cause i got my ideal body ive had it since 1823 "
ALSO
dont let your thoughts rule u, u rule them. if you are in public and think " omg they looking at me cause think im big" NO dont do that...
instead say
" Girl they looking at me bc i got my ideal body, and i been had it since a baby in da tummy ahh"
exactly change that mindset. thats it. all you have to do is catch yourself, improve your thoughts and your self concept will be thru the mf roof. So den you can manifest in a snap of a fingerrr. period thats the magic 🪄 sauce bookie. also dont say will say have cause you already have it bookie bear ;)
im open for questions and i am open to telling what ive manifested WITHOUT some dumb ass void or subliminal lol.
heres the video; BTW LOOK AT HER PAGE SHE HAS MUCH MORE.
youtube
#manifesting#loassumption#loa tumblr#loa blog#loa success#void#void state#void success#the void#the void state#manifesation#manifest method#void method#void meditation#void motivation#manifest#meditation#instant manifestation#Youtube
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clueless. part 1



pairing — juyeon x reader (ft. crush!hyunjae) genre — friends to lovers, college au, angst (if u squint), fluff w.c — 4.3k (sorry) warnings — a bit suggestive, reader being head over heels for hyunjae, tiny makeout scene. not proofread!!!! playlist — heh border — @bernardsbendystraws note — oh lawddd ive been procrastinating this fic.. i started it in november.... ITS LITERALLY 2025 NOW BUT ANYWAY!
precis — falling for the popular guy wasn't part of your plan. your best friend, Juyeon, has seen you freak out over him more times than you can count. you tell each other everything, right? not everything, you dont know how much juyeon likes you, youre.. clueless.
── .✦
your day started off pretty normally. you groaned as you turn off your alarm, glancing at your roommates side of the room, which seemed to still be empty despite it being morning. minnie, your roommate, loves parties and you will never see her miss one. unfortunately (or fortunately for minnie) there was a party last night.. at hyunjaes.
the man of your dreams. or so you believe. you seemingly have taken a liking to this boy, just like every other girl at your university. thats the catch, isnt it? falling for a popular guy who hooks up with nearly every girl he meets. you dont doubt minnie is one of those girls. still, part of you secretly wishes you were one of them too.
you rub your eyes and stretch, trying to shake off the fatigue taking over you. you had stayed up late studying for an exam and as you glance at your desk, you shake your head, knowing youll be back there for a few hours soon. just as you get up, you hear a knock on your door. its strange— minnie usually just walks in. so who is it..?
you open the door to find a 5’11 guy standing in front of you— juyeon, your best friend since forever (senior year of high school). “hey.” he speaks up. “what’re u doing up so early? you dont have 8am classes.” you step aside, letting him in.
“just felt like waking up early.” he snickers. “yeah sure, we both know you arent a morning person.” you both sit on your bed, getting comfortable even though you should be getting ready. “what are you really here for?” “i just wanted to see you is all.” you rolls your eye playfully. “joking, of course. i just wanted to see if you went to hyunjaes party- oh im sorry, your mans party.” he smirks.
you give him a small, shy smile before tossing a pillow at him. “oh shut up.. and no, i didnt. i dont have time for that.” you reply. “that’s a shame. it was really fun you know.” he nudges your arm, wiggling his eyebrows. “that’s what u say every time hyunjae has a party.” he stands up, hands on his hips. “yeah whatever. cmon lets go get breakfast.” he turns around and extends his arm to give you a hand. “i haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.” “gross. go brush them and meet me outside.” you get off your bed and shove him playfully. “yeah yeah, get out.”
—
“where are we even going?” you ask, puting on your seatbelt and glancing over at him with curiosity. “younghoon and changmin said to meet them at dennys.” you chuckle. “dennys?” he adjusts his position, resting his right arm on the center console while his left stays on the wheel. “look, free food is free food.” he looks over at you, grinning. “but dennys really?” you meet his gaze, smiling softly. he loved the way you smiled. he cleared his throat, then looks back at the road. “yeah.”
once the two of you finally pulled into the dennys parking lot, you were greeted by younghoon and changmin, who are waiting outside in the cold. “why aren’t you guys inside? you’re gonna get sick.” you shiver as you get out of the car, zipping your jacket back up. “we wanted to wait for you guys.” younghoon smiles,his teeth chatter. “younghoon it’s 18°.” you giggle softly as you all make your way inside.
“so, we all going to sunwoos party tonight?” the four of you make your way to a booth in the back. “another one? gosh, they never stop, do they?” you utter as you slide into the booth, juyeon following after. “never.” changmin smirks. “that’s the good thing about college.” he crosses his arms proudly. “more like annoying thing, min.” they all giggle at your remark “seriously, we’re juniors in college. partying, for me at least, stopped late freshman year.” you put the menu down and look at all of them. “well, for us, it’s never gonna stop.” juyeon slides his arm around your shoulders. “clearly.” you scoff. “let’s just order, i’m hungry.”
after eating a delicious meal, the conversation drifts to random topics: high school, girls, boys, hyunjae. “i think you should shoot your shot, y/n.” younghoon says, sipping the last drops of orange juice in his cup. “never in a million years.” you reply, shaking your head. as you share more laughs, a group of girls stars to walking up to your table.
“hey, i was wondering if you’re single by any chance.” one of the girls steps closer to juyeon, a little too touchy. he looks at you, arm still around your shoulder. “im not.” he states certainly. you glance at him, confused. “what a shame, i wouldve treated you better.” the girls start to walk away, giggling, looking back at you disgusted as if youd done something wrong.
“what the fuck just happened?” changmin stares after the girls as they walk away. “thanks by the way.” juyeon glances at you, softly. “sure.” you giggle as you drink your water. “let’s get outta here.” younghoon says as he gets up. “don’t forget to pay, changmin~” younghoon teases. changmin tilts his head back with groans. “i forgot i had to.” he walks to the counter, taking out his card to pay. “oh, right. we’re riding with you guys back to school.” “why?” juyeon plays with his keys. “we uber’d here.” “offff course you did.”
“i call shotgun!” changmin shouts, getting closer to you guys. “no way, y/n’s always shotgun when i drive.” juyeon glances over at you as you leave the place. changmin pouts jokingly, giving juyeon a light pat on the shoulder. “you gotta tell her some day.” changmin murmurs before leaving right after you and younghoon out the door. juyeon sighs, knowing he was right, but there’s never a right time.
juyeon rushes to the car due the shouting of you younghoon and changmin telling him to hurry up. “it’s too early for your shouting.” he mutters, unlocking the car. “it’s 10am.” you reply. “exactly.” he retorts, earning a smile from you as you climb into the car. “aux please!” changmin requests. “its literally a 5 minute drive back to school. you’re not even gonna be able to play one song.” juyeon glances at him through the rear view mirror, noticing changmin slight pout.
juyeon sighs, passing the aux cord back to changmin. as changmin plays his songs, juyeon can’t help but smile at you. when he’s with you, no one else matters— no one else is there as a matter of fact.
but you didn’t know that, did you?
as you arrive to school, your phone suddenly starts buzzing. you get out of the car, checking to see whos texting you. a sigh escapes your lips when seeing pictures of minnie and hyunjae at the party last night. main reason why your phone is buzzing is because guys are asking you for minnie’s number. you rolls your eyes and slam the car door, a little too hard. “jesus careful now. what happened?” the three boys turned to face you. “minnie and hyunjae hooked up. can’t say im surprised.”
it’s nothing new to see hyunjae with another girl. the three boys glance at each other, mainly at juyeon. “whatever, i gotta go to the library. i’m tired of my desk. i’ll see you guys around” you walk towards your dorm building. silently hoping minnie wasn’t home yet.
but of course not everything can go your way.
“hey!” you’re greeted with your painfully obvious, hungover roommate. “hey minnie.” you quickly grab your books and head to the door. “wait!” minnie stops you in your tracks. “i know you have a big crush on hyunjae— it’s really obvious by the way— but im sure you saw the pictures and i just wanted to let you know that he’s a top tier kisser and so so good in bed.” her words made you cringe.
“ookay minnie.-“ “like im talking s tier” “i get it minnie.” “sorry.” you walk out of your dorm, standing outside for a moment, wondering why. why him? out of your entire school— him? you shake your head, walking out the building. you had way more important things to worry about then worry about some gorgeous man.
and speaking of, there he is.. talking with your best friend. “oh y/n!” juyeon calls you over. ‘oh fuck me.’ you thought. you wanted to ignore him, but you cant. not now atleast, you can’t afford to make a bad first impression now can you?
you quietly make you way over to them. wishing this whole thing was a dream and that you’ll wake up soon. but you dont. “hyunjae, this is my best friend, y/n.” he looks at you and greets you with a smile. “hi y/n.” oh that smile— that beautiful smile that you liked so much. youre so caught up in admiring him that you almost forgot to say hello back. “hi.” you bit the inside of your cheek, its just too awkward.
while you admired hyunjae, juyeon admired you, feeling nothing but envy toward hyunjae. “you goin’ to sunwoos party tonight?” he smirks at you, licking his lips. “uh, i gotta study.” you stammer, avoiding his gaze. focusing on everything but him.
“come on~ just this once.. for me..?” he pleads. he knew what he was doing. you look into his eyes, seeing everything that can go wrong. “alright.” juyeon looked at you, surprised. just a moment ago, you said you’d stop going to parties— but of course, since the hyunjae asked you personally, you have to go. he smiles, his gaze locking with yours, as if he’s getting lost in it. “great. i’ll see you tonight then.” he says softly, turning back to juyeon. “i have to go, coach wanted me for something, see ya’” you watch as hyunjae leaves, he turns to you giving u a simple nod.
“oh so now you wanna go.” juyeon turns to you shaking his head. “i dont know why i said yes. please kill me.” he chuckles. “better hurry up and go study, because we’re leaving at 10.” you throw your head back, groaning. juyeon, finding this amusing, laughs as he throws his arm around your shoulders, because to him, it just felt right.
he ends up walking to you to the library and staying with you. even though he spent most of the time on his phone, you liked the company.
—
“wait juyo, what am i even gonna wear..?” you whisper packing up your laptop and books. “just borrow something of minnie’s.” he scoffs with a laugh. “not a bad idea actually.” you tap your chin thoughtfully. “lets go check if she’s home.” the two of you rushed to your dorm. for once hoping she’s there.
“minnie!” you call out, slightly out of breath. she jumps from the sudden shout. her focus broken as she was sitting at her desk, getting ready for the exact same party you are going to. “what’s up? you scared me.” juyeon stays at the door, just in case you wanted him to step out. “can i borrow uhm.. your clothes for the party.” her expression shifts completely. she smiled brightly. “oh i’ve been waiting for this day to come!” she stands up and opens her closet. “take anything you’d like. fuck it, you can even take the outfit im gonna wear.” you laugh softly at her eagerness before rummaging through her closet, though, everything was so.. not.. you.
“you can go get ready, juyeon. i’ll be here for a while. just.. come back when you’re done.” he nods, leaving the two of you to get ready. “awh, that was juyeon? he’s so cute. you should put me on with him.” she smirks. “ask him yourself, minnie.” you sneer, you never really liked when girls would ask you for his number or just to hook them up. you never knew why, you just.. did.
after trying on what felt like every piece of (party) clothes in minnies closet, you didnt seem to like them. “minnie, all of your clothes are revealing, it’s like 20 something degrees outside.” you huff, it’s been atleast 30 minutes trying to find an outfit. “beauty is pain or whatever they say.” she shrugs, lips pursed as she bites the inside of her cheek before speaking again. “just wear my outfit it’s the least revealing and warmer.” she grabs the clothes from her bed and hands them to you. “no minnie, i dont-“ “just take it. i want you to go to this party, so i want you to be comfortable.” you smile warmly, thankful for your crazy, yet sweet roommate despite what she does at partys.
“thanks.”
by the time you’re done with your makeup, you hear a knock on your door. minnie goes to the door and greets juyeon. he walks in and looks over at you, his lips being tugged up into a smirk. “wow goin’ all out now are we?” you turn to face him, rolling your eyes. “first party in a while, and hyunjae personally invited me, might as well. now get out, i need to change.” he raises his hands in a mock surrender, backing out of the room with a grin.
changing was obviously the easiest part, you stare into the mirror for a bit. it definitely wasnt your style but there’s nothing you can do now.
“you look good.” minnie mutters, hands on her hips. “do i really?” she moves to stand next to you. “of course.” you smile softly before finally letting in juyeon.
safe to say juyeon was.. starstruck when he saw you. he never imagined you in such clothes, yet here you were, in front of him wearing something very much out of your comfort zone. in that moment, he felt like he was falling in love with you all over again. “how do i look?” you asked, a playful glint in your eyes. “great.” he replied, his gaze lingering on you a moment longer than necessary. “now can we go?” he licks his lips, looking away. “wait!” you both look back into your dorm to see minnie waving a bottle of vodka, grinning. “come, take the first shot w me.” you walk back inside, hesitant but still obliged. “juyeon?” “wasn’t really planning on drinking.”
“cmon juyo~” hes hesitant, he looks over at you as you plead. he gives in the moment he looks at you, it was almost like you know how to make him crack. “for you, y/n.” you smile as you all take a shot, hissing from the taste.
“ready to go?” minnie perked up, you would never not see her happy to go to a party, its second nature for her. minnie was actually the first one out the door. you and juyeon took your time getting there, not like there was any rush. the two of you walked beside each other, arms occasionally brushing. “excited for the party..?” juyeon breaks the comfortable silence as he scratches his neck.
“scared actually.” he smiles, “you’ll be fine, just.. stay in my sight okay?”
you nod.
-
the party was relatively tame. sunwoo kept coming up to you to have a good-ish conversation though ends up leaving every time to take shot after shot. “Hey, you’re y/n right?” a tall figure looming from the crowd walked towards you with a big grin. “uhh, yea i am, and you are?” the boy takes a sip of his (assumed) alcoholic beverage, “eric. I’ve heard a lot about you by the way.” you furrow your brows, curious. “what do you mean you’ve heard a lot about me?” you fixed your gaze on him intensely.
“hyunjae and juyeon.” hyunjae? you smiled to yourself. he had been talking about you.. but who brought u up first..?
“what do they—“ you were suddenly caught off by an arm sliding around your shoulder. “hey.” you look up to see the man of your dreams. your breathed hitched at the sight of him.
“hyunjae! hey man i didnt think you would show up because of.. you know who.” eric comes closer to greet hyunjae with a handshake. you were too mesmerized by the fact hyunjae has his arms around you to notice anything. to you, it seemed like it was only you and hyunjae in the room.
“i had to man, i invited someone after all.” he looks down at you with a soft smile. you look down as you smile. “cool outfit by the way.” he looks to you up and down, smirking as if he’s about to just flat out eat you. “oh thanks.”
as you two continue talking, juyeon watches from a distance. tongue poking the inside of his cheek as he takes a sip of his drink. not caring about what changmins telling him.
changmins notices his absent mind and glances over to where his attention is fixed. “no wonder youre not paying attention to me.” juyeon finally snaps out of this thoughts and looks at him. “my bad, what were you saying?” changmins scoffs. “dude you gotta tell her, if not then let her be.” juyeon remains quiet as he shakes his head.
as he went to go grab another drink, taking his eyes away from you for just a second, you were gone. he sighed hoping what he was thinking isnt whats happening. however….
you gulp as hyunjae takes your hand to lead you to a room. you can’t help but notice his phone going off every 5 minutes. though, that’s the least of your worries right now, the man you like oh so much is leading you to an isolated room.
he shuts the door behind you and almost immediately pulls you into a deep kiss. you couldn’t believe it, he was kissing you. you subconsciously kiss him back, hands coming to rest on his cheeks. his resting on your waist. his lips were soft, delicate even. after some time, he begins to get touchy. you didnt mind though, this was like a dream come true for you.
his hands tugging the hem of your tank top. while yours was tangled in his hair. the kiss was slow, almost like he wanted to savor this moment.
you jumped at this cold touch underneath your shirt. he pulls away to catch his breath, but you can’t help yearning for more. his lips so close to yours. “you’re beautiful, y/n.” you look up at him, his gaze lustful, darkening with each second. which sent shivers down your spine. you let out a breathy sigh, licking your lips as they curl into a tender smile.
“thank you.” you whisper, now avoiding his gaze. taking note of this, he gently brings one of his hands to your chin, making you face him.
a mischievous smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. his hand coming to hold the back of your head to kiss you one more time until..
ding
ding
he pulls away. your lips parted, eyes fluttering. aching for another kiss that wont come.
he texts back whoever was calling and texting him, with a smirk on his face. you waited there patiently, nervous to speak up. “sorry, y/n.” his tone now dismissive, like if what just happened was forgotten.
“see you later yeah?” he leaves the room, phone pressed to his ear. you stand there, while the warmth of his touch still linger on your skin. your expression still dazed. you slowly leave the room to find juyeon.
as you head down stairs, you were immediately grabbed by the arm and got tugged outside. “what the fuck happened?! i took my eyes off of you for a second!” you flashed a coy smile at him, his brows furrowed. he noticed your shirt slightly messed up and sighed. “did you two hook up?” you shake your head, giving him a silent no.
he sighed in relief. “just kissed.” you giggle, it was as if he turned you into a teenager in love. you didnt know that this hurt juyeon, you were completely clueless. all juyeon could do is sit back and watch.
right?
he clears his throat. “lets head back, yeah?” his arm slips around her shoulder, pulling you close, as if he’s afraid you’ll slip away from him. “juyo..” he hums in response, glancing down at you. “who’s ‘miyeon’?” he remained quiet for a moment. wondering if he should tell you or not. “miyeon..?” “yeah, i saw her name pop up on hyunjaes phone— not that i wanted to i just accidentally saw..!” he shook his head. he didnt want to hurt you, but if you wanted to know..
“hyunjaes ex.”
“wh..what?”
“y/n, the only reason why he’s hooking up with so many girls..” he gulps, looking into your innocent eyes. “is because.. he’s trying to make miyeon take him back by making her jealous. its a pretty loser plan i mean..” he laughs awkwardly. “a high schooler would do that, not a.. college.. stu... y/n?”
your gaze turned glassy as tears gathered in your eyes. “y/n..” he cups your face trying to wipe away every tears that falls from your face. “so.. i never stood a chance..?” your voice quivered. “nonono— its not that.. y/n..”
“juyo..” you cry, clinging to him as your shoulders shake with your cries. he hugged you back gently, patting the back of your head. he bit his tongue, wishing he never told you. though, he knew it would come out eventually.
“come on, lets go.” he speaks softly, almost in a whisper. keeping you close as you two walk to your dorm.
the walk there was silent. not that you minded it, it was comfortable. you can’t help looking up at your best friend. it was warm in his arms. would it be crazy for you to feel something right now?
—
“can you.. stay with me..?” you pause, pushing the door to your dorm open just a crack. your voice still shaky.
the silence that follows feels loud.
“of course. i won’t leave you.” your lips curled upward into a smile, sniffling as you walk in.
the room was empty with minnie still at the party. you dont even bother changing, you just slowly get into bed, leaving a space for juyeon.
there was more silence as he climbs into bed.
its not something new that you and juyeon are in bed together. after so many hangouts at your house, it feels completely normal. without a word, he slips his phone from his pocket and starts scrolling through his feed, you doing the same.
eventually, the comfortable silence settles between you two. you start to drift off to fall asleep. juyeon notices, smiling softly. he gently shifts, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close in a gentle embrace.
as you sleep deeply, you instinctively cuddle him closer, holding him tight. he kisses your forehead, whispering a soft “goodnight.” before drifting off to sleep as well.
you both peacefully sleep, no disruptions what so ever for a few hours until..
“y/n! y/n!” changmin bursts through your door, eyes widening at the sight of you two. he quickly slaps his hand over his mouth. juyeon stirs awake, blinking in confusion “what do you want, changmin?” he pauses. “y/n’s sleeping, be quiet.” juyeon mumbles groggily, rubbing his eyes, still holding you tightly.
“i was just coming in to tell y/n i just hooked up with minnie..” changmin whispers, juyeon lets out a soft, amused huff of laughter. “but i see shes busy..” he teases.
“get out, changmin.”
“yes sir!”
—
as you wake up, a familiar, comforting scent fills the air. you blink your eyes open to find juyeon sleeping peacefully beside you. a soft smile tugs at your lips as you watch him, taking in the peaceful sight for as long as you can before he wakes up.
you gently bring your hand up to move his hair out of his face. he groans at the sudden touch, though doesn’t wake up.
“GOOD MORNING!” minnie bursts through the door causing the two of you to bolt up. juyeon rubs his eyes and groans. “minnie..?” he turns to his left and there you were, holding your hand over your heart feeling it beat fast at the scare minnie gave you.
his arm was somehow around your waist. though, you both didn’t notice.
“hello lovebirds!” she flops down on her bed.
“where were you all night?” you speak up, rubbing your eyes. she quickly bolts up at the question, with a small smirk on her face.
“you will never guess!—“
“changmins.”
the two girls turned to juyeon. “what?!” you exclaimed, quickly getting up. “minnie, you hooked up with my bestfriend!?” you shake her by the shoulders. not stopping you, she just giggles.
“yeah… he’s so..”
“sure..”
“well what about you two, huh?” she points at you and juyeon, the smirk quickly returning to her face. “we didn’t do anything!” she giggles as you playfully hit her.
“when will the time come..” she turns around and flops onto her bed once more. you glance over at juyeon, noticing his ears are red. you look away as a smile forms on your face.
juyeon clears his throat. “i’m gonna go.. see you later?” he throws the blankets off of him and gets off the bed. “yeah.. see you.” you watch him as he leaves your dorm.
“i knew it!” minnies says as she lays on her pillow, voice muffled. you look at her confused as she sits up. “girl, go to sleep.”
“juyeon likes you!”
“what? you’re crazy.”
“slept over, ears got red when i mentioned you two…” she goes on. “he totally likes you. oh it must suck to like you..”
you furrow your brows. “what? why?”
“you’re head over heels for hyunjae, babes.”
“okay well not anymore, not after juyo told me he trying to get back with his ex” you sit on the edge of her bed.
“oh what an asshole..”
“yea well, nothing i can do now he loves her. i will never be anything to him besides ‘juyeons friend’.
To Be Continued…
yunppeo talks! — this is a long one and im still gonna make a part two dwdw you guys will definitely get ur juyeon fluff
p.s — im working on istj too ^v^
love, yunppeo.
#yunppeo masterlist 🪼🎧#juyeon x reader#the boyz#the boyz fanfic#juyeon#the boyz x reader#tbz#hyunjae#younghoon#sunwoo#the boyz x you#the boyz changmin#the boyz scenarios#the boyz jacob#the boyz juyeon#lee juyeon#lee juyeon fluff#lee juyeon x reader#ju haknyeon#tbzpics#chanhee#eric sohn#lee juyeon imagines#ji changmin
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