#alpha legion shenanigans

[medical-anon-whau]

Good morning/afternoon/evening everyone!

@egrets-not-regrets @kit-williams

I was able to talk to the Alpharius who was spending time with his bonded about making an alliance against Stalker the Dark Angel. He had been under the impression that Stalker and I had Bonded and he was being rude to them to prove some sort of point.

As far as I know, I'm not bonded with Stalker and told the Alpharius as much. And how he's been tap-dancing on my last nerve by randomly scaring the fuck out of me for over a month now. The Alpahrius said that he would talk with some of his brothers who live in town, but that he couldn't give me a clear answer.

I figure he wants to talk with however many Alpharii live with this client and maybe have me observed to make sure I'm not trying to get them into trouble? But I am somewhat hopeful that they might agree to help me with Stalker - I've heard them hiss and growl at Stalker whenever He gets too far into the boundary line of the property they live in.

I also spoke with the Fallen Dark Angel about Stalker. He's pretty cagey and skittish about the whole thing, and considering he was nearly kidnapped and/or arrested I don't blame him.

The Ultramarine noticed my increased anxiety and asked about it. And… Long story short, I've been told that I have a meeting with one of the Ultramarine Captains who live nearby about my crabby stalker… Hooray? Trying to ask about the Interrogator Chaplain at the entrance of the astartes bases only got me shooed off The last three times I tried. :/

Oh! And the glitter bombs I ordered off the internet have come in. Stalker did his usual grab and slam routine after materializing out of nowhere. I got him good with a glitter bomb.

Enjoy the hot pink sparkles in your armor, asshole!

Did I get glitter everywhere too? Yes. But it was worth it for the utter confusion on his dumb handsome face

[sleepyfan-blog]

Ruin

Author’s Note: Deimos part three! I hope you enjoy :D first. Previous

Tagged: @egrets-not-regrets @kit-williams @bleedingichorhearts @the-pure-angel@whorety-k 

Warnings: threatening, blackmail, Alpha Legion Shenanigans

Summary: Deimos speaks to one of the human representatives during the negotiations. He gets what he wants. 

Deimos had been watching the negotiations between some of the leaders of the most powerful Astartes pods speaking with representatives of the human countries of Terra for the past several days. At the end of each day. Deimos would send coded information as to how things had been going to his handler, and waiting to see if his instructions would change based on the information that he had gathered.

He also spent time pretend-obliviously making one of the human representatives squirm and sweat each time they saw the face or heard the voice of the Blood Angel Sergeant he was pretending to be, as Representative Pearson was part of a least two different human organizations who had successfully captured different Astartes in order to dissect and experiment upon them… And because the sergeant he was pretending to be had recently been captured by one of Pearson’s groups using information that the human had himself given them. 

The Alpha Legion had been content to let their cousins flounder in confusion as to what was happening to some of their legions/chapters. If they weren’t aware enough of the dangers that baseline humanity could be to them, that wasn’t their problem… That had been until one of these groups had captured a hybrid hydra pup, the first Alpha legionnaire born on Ancient Terra to a converted human mate and stolen a week ago.

That was the last mistake any of these groups would make, not that those who were outside of those facilities were aware of the storm that had swallowed most of their resources in righteous fury. All captive astartes were being tended to by Alpha Legion Apothecaries and would be released after the conclusion of these negotiations. Deimos glided gracefully after Representative Pearson, who had finally worked up the courage to ask for a private meeting between himself and the baseline human.

“What is it that you wanted to speak with me about?” Deimos asked, using the lilting tones of the Blood Angel he was pretending to be, amused at the way that the baseline human froze, blinking off the siren-like qualities a moment later.

“You are an imposter. You should leave quietly, or I will escalate the matter to security.” Pearson accused, pointing his finger dramatically at Deimos.

The Alpha Legionnaire almost broke character and started to cackle. If this was the way that Pearson wanted to play things, Deimos was happy to indulge him. “And just why do you think I am an imposter? What proof could you possibly have?”

“Because I received a report earlier this week about a mer matching  your precise description being badly injured and brought to a medical facility for treatment. I have heard of the incredible healing factors you astartes possess, but the injuries that Astartes had suffered could not have healed as fully as you appear to be in such short period of time. Which means you are an imposter and should leave these negotiations.” Pearson explained, radiating smug satisfaction.

Deimos’ couldn’t help the small, fanged grin that appeared on his face as he purred “And?”

“And if you do not leave immediately I will alert security as to you being here under false circumstances and -” The baseline human blustered.

Deimos interrupted Pearson’s rant with a laugh “What makes you think that I have no right to be here? Especially since you were the one to leak the battle brother’s whose face I am borrowing’s location to the butchers and kidnappers who tormented him… Ah, but he is no longer in their grasp. None of the astartes that the little groups you work with are still captive. My brothers have rescued them all. Your little groups of maniacs fear that we astartes will try and take dominance of this world from you. Because of our strength and our abilities. But you're wrong. If we wanted dominion over this world we would have it already and none of the weapons nor all your military might would be enough to stop us.”

“I.. You accuse me of-” Pearson started, huffing up in indignation and distilled terror.

The Alpha legionnaire interrupted the baseline human again as he pulled out a series of pictures proving that Person was knowingly and willingly involved several of the Astartes kidnapping groups, setting them down on the table between them as he spoke “Drop the pretenses. I have more evidence of your crimes and wrongdoing on me, and there are copies in case you attempt to destroy this evidence.” Deimos was one piece of the Hydra. His legion worked in the shadows and gathered information. They knew all and saw all. “Step down from your position now, and publicly resign in front of the press at this event and explain your crimes and your true loyalties… If you refuse I’ll tell the World Eater and Black Templar representatives who you truly work with.”

“... If you do that, those blood-thirsty monster swill try-” The human protested.

“Will kill you for your crimes. Of course. That would be a mercy. Some of the pods represented here would make your death a long and agonizing spectacle. World Eaters and Black Templars both tend to make their kills swift.” Deimos rumbled, cutting off the human yet again and smirking down at him.

“How dare you threaten and attempt to blackmail me like this? Photos like this can be altered to seem incriminating!” Pearson blustered, fear and fury radiating off of him in waves.

“There are ways to check for tampering. Besides, these photos are the least of the proof I have for your crimes. Do as I say, or you will die by the end of this day. This is not a threat but a promise. Besides, you won’t be the only wretched mortal to die for your crimes today if you refuse to step down.” Deimos hummed, pulling out a small laptop, opening the video conference software and calling out “Alpharius, I have the human representative with me.”

“Well done Alpharius.” His captain praised, swimming into frame with two of the other leaders of the organizations being dragged into frame with him. Behind the older Alpha Legionnaire were dozens of gagged and bound hand to foot humans, all members of the kidnapping organizations in the room the captain was in. “You see, we have many of those involved in the kidnappings who still yet live. You have a simple choice, Representative Pearson. Confess your crime sin front of the cameras and our fellow astartes, and submit yourself for judgment…. Or you and all of the humans here will die.”

“I… You… How… How have you done this?” Pearson asks, helpless rage and terror wafting off of him in waves.

“We are Alpharius. We are the Hydra at the heart of everything. No detail is too small to escape our grasp. Our eyes see all, as our ears hear all. If we wanted to control this world, we’d have it already. So,  representative, what is your choice?” The captain purred, smirking.

“I… I’ll…” Pearson swallows, staring at the other humans bound and at the mercy of astartes. He hangs his head and growls out “I’ll do as you’ve demanded of me, you bastards. Damn you all to hell!”

“Been there. Got bored. Came back.” Deimos cooed, smirking. “No time like the present, let’s go. Be seeing you, captain Alpharius.” with that he shut the laptop and placed it in a pouch before scruffing the unhappy human by the collar and dragging him bodily out of the chair, swimming out of the room and over to where the press were gathered. He knew that the other Astartes would be able to hear Pearson’s confession… This was going to be fun.

~

Five minutes later found Pearson standing on his own two feet, Deimos staying just close enough to encourage the human to speak without tipping off the press of just what the human was going to confess to.

“I… have… I have a confession to make. I have been working with a secret group of scientists, doctors and hunters to capture and study Astartes. I am well aware of the fact that these kidnappings have made Human-Astartes relations worse the world over… The organization’s goals were to assess the threat posed by Astartes, as well as to try and figure out the keys to their longevity and high healing factor. To be able to synthesize either of those abilities for humanity to use. We also hoped to be able to take apart Astartes’ technology and reverse engineer it for profit.” Pearson confessed, having hid his hands behind his back, to hide the way they trembled “I have realized now that this was wrong, and am stepping down from my position as representative, and submit myself to the justice system of my home country.”

Deimos had expected that Pearson would try to pull something like that. It was almost cute that he thought he was living past this next hour as a free person, and that he would be allowed to be tried by one of the human legal systems. Already the Alpha legionnaire could hear furious shouting from loyalists, chaos and renegade astartes. He could smell their rapid approach to this conference room, the scent of their fury and determination heavy in the air as they barrelled into the room.

All of them stopped dead, seeing Deimos in the guise of a Blood Angel as he stood directly behind the violently shaking and terrified human. Before any of them could try and demand something he said on external vox “As Pearson has wronged the Astartes more, his request for being tried by humanity is rejected. I will be taking him to where he will be tried and punished for his crimes.”

The assembled humans burst into dozens and dozens of loud statements and noises, each desperately trying to get his or the other astartes attention. Not that Deimos was actively listening to what they were saying, just making sure that they weren’t trying to get close enough to grab Pearson and attempt to get away from him.

He waited a beat before broadcasting his voice to the voxes of his fellow astartes alone, his eyes deliberately flashing teal as he purred “Hydra Dominatus.” Before he scooped up Pearson and swum off at his top speed, cackling to himself as the human in his arms whimpered and shook.

[chillinglikeavillain]

POV: You're fighting the Alpha Legion.

I rise again from the depths to make another shitty meme.

Now I return below.

[clonememesfrikyeah]

Alpha-17: “We’re gonna have to name this kid eventually, suggestions?”

Fordo: “Killer?”

Alpha-17: “No.”

Fordo: “ Skull crusher!”

Alpha-17: “No, something nicer.”

Fordo: “Fine, dream killer. How about Elroy? Or Bitsy? Or Arnold? Bugsby? Crawdad? Scissor hands? DeVito? Antidisestablishmentarianism? What about Bieber? Do any of those tickle your fancy?”

Alpha-17: “What The hell is wrong with you?”

Fordo: “Ive got it! Marlboro!”

Alpha-17: “Absolutely Not! We’re naming a person here, not a pet! And even if this was a pet they deserve a more dignified name than those!”

Fordo: “God, you’re such a fun sucker. Well, that and… other things.”

Alpha-17: “The fuck did you just say about me!?”

Fordo: “Oh, noting but the truth.”

Alpha-17:”….your lucky there’s children around or else I’d shove your own foot so far up your ass you could taste it. Get tf out of my nursery.”

Fordo: *flipping him off as he walks backwards out* “This is why Jango doesn’t love you.”

[mothask]

So Anakin who is the biggest eater out the 501st?

Yeah alpha can eat.

Pretty sure he'd put those eating contests to shame.

Also I've been thinking I think I'm gonna change Alpha's moth to a giant wood moth seems more accurate 😂.

[moodymisty]

hi! i hope you feel better soon!

i was wondering if you plans for continuing your ‘legions reacting to their primarch’s partner’ series ?

have a good one :) 🐊

Part 1, Part 2

Author's Note: Sure, here's the rest of them :3

Relationships: Implied Leman Russ/Reader, AlphariusOmegon/Reader, Sanguinius/Reader, Lorgar/Reader, Ferrus Manus/Reader, Mortarion/Reader, Jaghatai Khan/Reader, Horus/Reader, Fulgrim/Reader, Corvus Corax/Reader (A NOTE: almost all of these are gender neutral, but a few might have the term mother or another female term in it, so fair warning)

Warnings: None really

➧ Space Wolves:

Pretty average. They're definitely one of the better legions to be around if you're a baseline human, as they're not only pretty chill, but actually somewhat... nice? By Astartes standards.

You enjoy listening to them tell battle stories around the bonfire or whatever you're all camped around, and they like how easy it is to impress you with their feats of strength. Evenings can quickly devolve into one on one duels if you're around, and there's enough Mjød involved. Impressing Wolf Mother with your spur of the moment honor duel is the height of accomplishment, for a hammered Space Wolf.

You would hope Russ would stop these shenanigans, but you’ll find yourself disappointed when he joins in, brawling his own Astartes for your attention that he already has.

They also all find it absolutely hilarious when you use one of their tamed Fenrisian wolves as a mount, as it puts you at eye level with them.

➧ Alpha Legion:

Your relationship with Alpharius & Omegon is as ambiguous as how the Alpha Legion Astartes feel about you.

They don't like the twins having a potential weak spot that can be exploited by enemies, and their myriad of plans and spiderweb of secrets could get easily unraveled; But if the twins brought you into the inner circle, they’ll place trust that they did it for a reason.

It's just a bit, disorienting having so many men- some of which look very similar- coming in and out of your life. The twins know that you can tell them apart from their legion lookalikes (somehow and it pisses them off), but they still find it funny to try and slip things past you.

➧ Blood Angels:

As one of the kinder chapters, you being brought into the fold is of little resistance, largely because they see how happy Sanguinius is when you're around. They may be battle hardened warriors, but they find it difficult to express their worries when their Primarch has never looked happier holding your much tinier hand.

However the Blood Angels already have a protective (border-lining on obsessive) nature with their Primarch, and that is something that now extends in fold to anyone Sanguinius is close to. Being you.

Do not expect to go anywhere with any less than three fully armored Blood Angels. They will glare at anyone who comes close, they will scold anyone who speaks to you without proper prose, and you will have to deal with it. Some may have a developing soft spot for their kind Legion Mother which allows you to order them around, but they are very strict in this regard.

And Sanguinius will not stop it; Because he feels the same way as them, he's just better at hiding it.

➧ Word Bearers:

Largely neutral at first, but over time they begin to warm up to you as Lorgar's loving gazes and borderline worshipping talk wears on them. It also helps that they have some non-violent experience with other humans.

There are some however who don't approve of your closeness to Lorgar; Especially as it becomes more obvious that Lorgar's priorities are changing, and his distractions are getting worse. You becoming the idée fixe of Lorgar's mind is more than a bit concerning for some members of the legion, particularly ones touched by Kor Phaeron.

They hold their tongues, but you know they don't like whenever the two of you are alone. You've heard the word 'temptress' uttered more than once.

➧ Iron Hands:

Extremely blunt, and to the point. like the Imperial Fists, but without the protective streak. Iron Hand brutal efficacy doesn't exactly mix with the slow nurturing of what one could consider romance.

But you show genuine interest in the practices of the legion and don't impede on their chapter traditions, so the Iron Hands suppose it could be worse. They'd much rather their Primarch not be distracted however, and that is a theme that will remain present in any conversation regarding you for a long while. Expect them to basically ignore you for the first portion of your relationship with Ferrus.

Rude...

➧ Death Guard:

The Death Guard are one of the legions that is definitely more conflicted about the whole thing.

On one hand they say that he will end up distracted, eyes pulled away from his crusade to more frivolous things like romance. But on the other hand, if it does away with some of Mortarion's depressive moue, then they can bite their tongues about it. Either way, they definitely aren't fans of it, and you'll more than hear about it.

Legion meetings are, more than a bit stressful. Mortarion often times comes back ragged and angry after being told he should be rid of you.

Things are strained. You hope they'll level out with time.

➧ White Scars:

Probably one of the better legions to be in. Helps that they don't despise baseline humans, and actually know how to smile sometimes.

It's refreshing to be around Astartes who are a little less, stuck up, something you say under your breath not long after being officially introduced to them. They find it absolutely hilarious.

You have a few Astartes you're a bit more familiar with that Jaghatai trusts to be your personal guard, in the rare moments he isn't close. Pretty chill all around.

Unless there's about seven of them all eagerly surrounding you trying to teach you different Chogoran words, then it's significantly less chill.

Also jetbike rides sound rad af

➧ Luna Wolves:

They have their doubts as all legions do, but given Horus' charisma it isn't long before they toss those doubts aside, and quickly welcome you into the fold at Horus' side.

Also similar to the Blood Angels in that they get near feral protecting their genefather's beloved. It's like his obsessive nature somehow has somehow manifested or has been genetically implanted in them. Horus always makes sure you have a guard at your side, no matter where you go.

It was all fine at first, but now you're beginning to feel a bit like a prisoner.

➧ Raven Guard:

The Raven Guard are pretty tame all things considered. While conversations tend to be respectfully brief, you've noticed overtime that it's less so disinterest, and more a so near nervous formality. It's almost like they don't know how to talk to a baseline human woman for more than a few moments. It's, cute.

Nykona doesn't seem to mind you though; Largely because he overheard you mumble that you think his armor is the most impressive out of all of the Raven Guard Astartes during a sparring session between him and Corax.

Overall, they’re happy Corvus is happy, and as long as his main mission isn’t compromised, they’re content to have you here.

While most legions say ‘Legion Mother’ however, the Raven Guard tend to use the title ‘Raven Mother’ instead when being formal. When they started saying that instead of just legion mother, you noticed how it intertwines with how they refer to Corvus.

Once you realized you got a little bit too excited they’d finally started accepting you, and scared the shit out of no less than three guards by abruptly crying.

➧ The Emperor's Children:

They do enjoy being around humans that can appreciate the arts, and they don't hold much ill will towards you as the jewel of their Primarch's eye. If anything, they seem almost pleased their Primarch is able to pursue such things. You're welcomed into the fold with little fanfare, and Legion business continues on with nary a peep about Fulgrim's new wife.

Many of them create things for you, which while incredibly sweet, makes Fulgrim a little miffed if you show too much joy about it. He just gets a bit jealous, but it's harmless. You find it kind of cute.

[wxnheart]

I am fond of the brat taming trope and I would love to see what some of the Primarchs would do with a human reader who dares to be bratty to them. Especially the Lion, the Khan, or Perturabo

Horus - Would indulge your brattiness because he'll more than tame you tonight. Does it with the most placid expression imaginable; you later realize that he reacts with the sole intention of riling you up even more.

Leman Russ - Doesn't take you seriously lmao. Has a tendency to hit you with the most feral of grins because it leaves you breathless and moist as fuck while you're being a brat. Bastard.

Ferrus Manus - Will methodically ignore you to the point he cockblocks you. You're seething in sexual frustration because while he looks completely unfazed, you see the mirth and victory in his eyes.

Fulgrim - See, my dear, you can't out-brat The Brat™. Becomes a contest to see who can out-brat the other. Usually culminates in hate sex. Real Bratty Fulgrim shit.

Vulkan - Thinks your brattiness is endearing and does not tame you. You actually have to spell it out that you WANT him to tame you. With hugs. Preferably in bed. Naked. With hugs. 😊

Rogal Dorn - Surprises the fuck out of you by pulling out the Pain Glove. NO THANK YOU, DORN. The sides of his mouth quirk up slightly and you realize you've been tricked in pure Dorn fashion. But then he really punishes you with a round of orgasm denial. Teehee.

Roboute Guilliman - You actually piss him off enough and the next thing you know your clothes are in tatters on the floor, you're stark naked on his office desk, and it's his turn to tease you. You're told to stay quiet (keep in mind you're in earshot of his dear Ultramarines) or he'll stop. Congratulations on the Ultrasex, m'dear!

Magnus the Red - Gets your ass back with Warp shenanigans. You're a needy, horny mess begging for him and he's sitting back watching it all happen.

Sanguinius - There's a reason why he meditates. That glint in his eyes stops you in your tracks. Let's just say that the next day you dressed to cover the hickeys that decorated your ENTIRE body.

Lion El'Jonson - Ferrus Manus cockblocks you intentionally. Lion does it by accident. You yell at him out of sexual frustration. Still, he does nothing. He'll get the hint once you TELL him to fuck tame you.

Perturabo - Do you... do you really want to know? He has a lifetime of pent-up frustration and resentment that he needs to get out and, well... Emperor bless.

Mortarion - *stares in Death Guard*

Lorgar - Your brattiness actually makes him realize he has a bit of a corruption kink. He wants to fall prey to his baser instincts, his lust, and punish you for your unbecoming ways. You kinky whores, you. 👀

Jaghatai Khan - Tames you by going fast. Make of that what you will. 😏

Konrad Curze - You're being a brat, Konrad takes amusement in your attempts and rewards you by giving you absolutely nothing, and Sevatar is in the background nonplussed by the situation while also wondering why in the fuck you'd even want Konrad Curze to... 'tame' you.

Angron - He silently judges your ass so bad you don't even try anymore. Chuckles like a motherfucker, too, when you give up. Spiteful bastard. You realize you said that out loud and haul ass.

Corvus Corax - How does he tame you? By running through the Imperium with his woes. Like... his actual woes. You know how that shit go. lmao

Alpharius Omegon - Uh... GOTTA TAME 'EM ALL! ALPHA LEGION!

[kit-williams]

Which of the yanderes do you think gives the best hugs?

OH which of my darling boys gives the best hugs?

Dark Angel Azazel: Gives terrible hugs gonna be honest but he does enjoy holding his darling in a possessive manner but are those really hugs?

Emperors Children Palion Hiss: OH This man loves to show physical affection in all ways! He will try his best to always give the perfect hug!

Iron Warriors Harram: He's not super use to physical affection but he's doing his best to open up more to it.

White Scar: Good luck getting away from the last hug! Very affectionate.

Space Wolves Captain Arkyn: This man is all about acts of service and physical affection especially on cold nights where his darling little human will surly freeze. I hope you don't mind a hairy chest.

Imperial Fist: He's a bit of a prickly one but like Arkyn understands that humans get cold so easily. He'll see the practical use of hugs but boy do you feel so safe in those arms.

Night Lords Ghosk: Ghosk is a full body hugger like dont be surprised if you get picked up by his wings. He will hug you and then also wrap you up in his wings.

Blood Angels Sirus: Another romantic will have his face in your neck just ignore the way he licks it just focus on his poetry which all seem to be very blood and lifeblood themed.

Iron Hands Vauth: He doesn't give hugs.

World Eaters Zul: Another that doesn't give hugs but will more so hold onto someone if you're necessary to keep alive then be content to be a ragdoll in his arms. With his Spaseniye he will hold her when she is soothing him feeling the comfort and relief she brings to him.

Ultramarines Tulio: Bog Standard hug. Just you might not hear the way he might smell your hair or hold you just a bit longer than you hold him... and dont point out how flustered he is after the hug.

Death Guard Solos: He bites what he hugs. So be prepared for a bit of nipping and some just him drinking a bit of your blood and internal fluids. But if you can mind the bone growths he gives very nice hugs.

Thousand Sons Nakht: Of Course you want a hug from a man like him you precious little creature. Needing a big strong man like Nakht to hold you so tightly. Such a good little darling.

Black Legion: Cocks his head to the side when you ask for a hug but will do it. But... he's not letting you go oh no he's only letting go on his terms and when he decides it's been enough... he might be a little touch starved.

Word Bearers Jihias: Another slightly touch starved man. Hope you enjoy theology while he embraces you.

Salamanders: Big hug you're not being let go not until you see what he's been working on!

Raven Guard boys: Kazi is the first to give you a hug his also being the longest hugs so full of adoration. Moremo gives the next hug its warm and calming. You have to give Sor his hug first before he hugs you back but its a hug that makes one feel safe.

Alpha legion Alpharius?: He gives nice hugs. No mind games really just maybe perhaps who is giving you the hug but its a nice hug.

Tyberos the Red Wake: It's a little suffocating when he hugs but it's still a hug.

91-Yrac: His hugs might be a bit cold and a bit mechanical but they are decent hugs. Though you might get dragged into his shenanigans.

[egrets-not-regrets]

Greetings fellow Bird. It's Cuckoo~

I saw what you did with the Thousand Son mentioned in your Iron Warrior fic.

I never expected anybody to take my head canons and run with it like this but it was awesome to see it mentioned regardless.

I'm loving your Iron Warrior series so far!

Hi Cuckoo! Thanks! I love your headcanons for the space marine husbandry tags. It makes me smile and laugh. Those Alpha Legion bois are really becoming one of my favorites. The potential shenanigans that they could get into…

[ordo-scriptus]

Some games are just too nail-biting to photograph. Today, the Dark Angels saw their first game in the flesh. Underprepared is certainly the word for it, as I was still gluing models onto bases twenty minutes before we were due to meet up - but even so, the game was amazing. 2000pt Ambush deployment saw the Angels surrounded by a beautifully painted Alpha Legion force. My first turns were punctuated by some awful rolls, and some harsh lessons in the effectiveness of the Alpha Legion movement/range shenanigans. My Leviathan and Tartaros Terminators were shot off the table turn one. My Veterans and Command Squad were charged by Contemptor Dreadnaughts, and my shooting squads were always just out of range. And then the dice turned. A slew of lucky sixes saw one Contemptor hewn in half by the Calibanite Warblade of a Veteran Sergeant, and the shredding chainswords of the Command Squad finished what a Terranic Greatsword had started. Stuck into melee, the Angels of Death took an obscene toll on whatever unit they engaged, but all the while their already limited numbers were slowly chipped away. Going into turn four, I only had seven models on the table. But those seven models had each slain four times their number of more valuable enemies. Be it the lone Veteran Sergeant who single handedly removed 9 Tactical marines (before a Power Fist Sergeant nailed him in retaliation), or three Power Fist Indomitus Terminators that deleted a whole ten man squad of Seekers and their Saboteur leader, running them off the table without taking so much as a wound in return. Every man was a Hero - but Heroes don't win battles. It takes men to hold the field, and mine were exhausted. It took one lost volley of Nemesis Bolters and Lascannons to bring an end to my rampage, and I was tabled at the end of turn four. What a game! #warhammercommunity #warhammerbattlereport #darkangels30k #alphalegion30k #horusheresy #horusheresy2point0 #hobbystreak #hobbystreakday449 (at Wakefield) https://www.instagram.com/p/CoddyrWNUvJ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[medical-anon-whau]

@egrets-not-regrets @kit-williams

Pen Thief Alpharius update

You were correct when you mentioned that there would be more Alphariuses (Alpharii? Sneaky-Cheeky Astartes?) then the one I first met. I know this because there was Pen Thief Alpharius in the house with his bonded companion…

When I know for a fact that Pen Thief Alpharius was participating in one of the classes that we offer for lay-caretakers. The patient cheerfully interacted with Pen Thief Boogaloo as if the two of them were the same being.

Should… I… Should I ask if they know they have multiple Alpha Legionnaires with them? Are they being kept in the dark about this? From what the patient has told me, they've known at least one Pen Thief for most of their life. Would that cause more problems or increased aggression?

[tinfoilstork]

[saltyladynightmare]

Jiliu AU Part 7.4

Beginning, Previous, Next, Masterlist

A/N:

as a writer, it is my duty to make words do things. For this particular part, I have utilized sayings that came straight from my nasty little brain. If you have questions, send me an Ask. (:

Warnings, for the entirety of part 7:

Creative liberties taken with the Force (we know why I am writing this), fake medicine, fake medical practices, fake science, wonky time keeping, enviable metabolisms, platonic cuddling between men, several somethings that are supposed to be panic attacks, bad grammar, spelling, and typos galore, hints of how the clones where raised (bad), bullying between children, child birth, abuse between partners, abuse of authority, Anakin Skywalker (excruciatingly low self esteem, unhealthy coping mechanisms, angst)(yes he has therapy, no it does not magically make him a functional human being. that is what a support network is for. also he is 19 and traumatized, give him a break because I won’t), horrible opinions about the use of beds

~~~~~~

It quickly became clear that Rex was not going to find this particular skill any easier than Anakin had, so many years ago. It surprised Anakin, as it hadn't taken him long at all to pick up on how quickly the Vod'e learned things, but, then, Anakin wasn't entirely certain shielding a bond was a natural thing to do, even if it had its benefits.

Eventually, Rex overcame whatever blockade he had built in his own mind however long ago around the idea of shielding his bond, and the shield nearly shimmered into place. His trepidation at building a shield over their bond still leaked through, but the gossamer fine shield, porous and gauzy as it was, definitely existed.

Anakin tapped the bond experimentally. The flimsy shielding flexed, but didn't go down under the light pressure. Pleased, Anakin withdrew. "How are you doing, Rex?"

"I'm fine, sir."

It wasn't a lie. Anakin folded his hands together on top of the table between them. It also didn't ring with an absolute truth the way he had been hoping for, either. He eyed the set of Rex's shoulders, the tilt of his chin, and decided to let it go for now. Rex was a grown man. He could make his own decisions, and shielding was hardly going to hurt him, in any case.

"Alright. I'm going to shield my end now."

Rex nodded sharply, eyes intent. "Understood, sir." He sat back in his chair and settled like bedrock behind his shields. Only the faintest thread of nerves floating through the bond gave him away.

Anakin shuffled through his usual plethora of bond shield layers. He couldn't shield it as heavily as he normally would, he reminded himself. In all honesty, he probably wouldn't even need to, since Rex, while more Sensitive then Anakin had thought he was, was not nearly as Sensitive as Obi-Wan or Aayla, and hadn't displayed even a hint of discomfort at an unshielded bond between them. Barring Anakin's nightmares and Rex's intrusive thoughts, they may not be necessary, if not for privacy, which is mostly what Rex's shield was for. Shields could only improve the situation.

He selected one of his lightest medium shields. Not too heavy, so the bond would could still draw some of his excess power into Rex, but probably still thick enough to keep Anakin's more eroding emotions from overwhelming him. Solid. Anakin dropped the chosen shield over the bond.

Rex lurched forward, and the blood drained from his face. His breastplate slammed into the edge of the table, making Anakin's carefully stacked datapads and droid part piles spill across the tabletop, and the armor on his arms scraped the faux wood as he lunged for Anakin. Anakin caught the things that fell off with the Force on reflex. Rex's shields dropped a split second later. Raw fear blared through the Force. The things slipped from Anakin's hold.

Anakin yanked the bond open again, and reached for Rex with both his mind and hands. "Rex?"

Rex latched onto Anakin's forearms with an iron grip when Anakin brushed his mind against his.

"Breathe, Rex," Anakin pitched his voice into the tone Alpha-17 used when he expected to be obeyed. Anakin had never used that tone before. As Rex's mind slammed down into total stillness, and his breathing abruptly smoothed out, Anakin decided he would never use it again.

Anakin wrapped Rex in a gentle hold with the Force. He squeezed, careful, so careful, and added just a touch of heat, like a weighted electric blanket. He started counting off, the way Thorn had taught him the Vod'e did it, and eased his way around the table with as little disturbance as possible. With the ease he had been finding in the use of the Force since he had woken up in this room, there was very little disturbance. He even managed to keep his arms in Rex's hold without ripping his IVs out.

When Anakin crouched down beside Rex's chair, the ship fell, and Rex crumpled. His forehead knocked into Anakin's non-too-gently. Pain laced through Anakin's skull, pulling a hiss from his mouth. Rex, still hyperventilating, slid his hands up Anakin's arms to clutch at his shoulders, and squeezed. This time Anakin managed to keep the wince from protesting sore muscles and achy joints from expressing itself.

When Rex slid out of his chair to his knees in front of Anakin, it was easy as anything to simply transfer his own hands to one of Rex's wrists, and cup the back of Rex's neck. Physical contact is supposed to help in this sort of situation right? Anakin pulled the Force a smidge tighter around his Captain, just to be thorough.

Anakin didn't know how long he and Rex stayed there, Rex kneeling, and Anakin crouched down, foreheads pressed together, but slowly, slowly, Rex calmed down.

Anakin didn't let up on the pressure he was applying to the back of Rex's neck even as he felt Rex settling to a more natural kind of stillness on the other side of the bond. He didn't so much as change his breathing pattern from the Vod'e count until Rex's eyes cleared and met Anakin's.

"Back with me Rex?" Anakin asked quietly. No pity. Never pity. Just acceptance and calm.

Rex swallowed drily, and Anakin made a note to get him a glass of water when he was stable enough to handle not having physical contact. "Yes, sir," Rex rasped.

"Can you tell me what went wrong?"

Rex looked...vulnerable. Shoulders slumped, big brown eyes wide and almost damp. "It felt like you'd died."

Ah.

That would do it.

Anakin was not the only person Rex had made a bond with. Of course not. If he could make one on his own with Anakin, he definitely had more with his brothers. Brothers who die—often. And if Rex had never shielded his bonds before...

Blast it. Today was just a day for mistakes, wasn't it?

"I'm sorry." Anakin stroked his flesh hand over Rex's golden fuzz. He pressed his head further into Anakin's hand, eyes drooping to half-mast. "I didn't know. I think I may have used a shield too dense for the...thickness, or," Anakin scrunched his nose, groping for the right word, "sensitivity of our bond. I thought I had picked one that was light enough, but I was wrong. I'm used to needing to help my bonded partners shield against me," he explained.

Anakin barely managed to catch the 'as they are more sensitive than you,' that wanted to follow in his teeth. That is not the sort of thing that should be spoken out loud; especially in a place that isn't safe.

"That's—that's what that was?" Rex rasped. Anakin really needed to get him that water.

Anakin hummed soothingly. "Yes. We're going to need to figure something else out for shielding, or I could try again with one of my thinner shields, but for now I think we just need to breathe. Let that shock fade. Then we can go from there."

"I can do that, General."

"I know you can Rex. We'll think of something," Anakin assured him. He had no idea what that something might be, but they would think of it.

He never would have guessed Rex was Sensitive enough to form a bond on his own. Admittedly, the bond as it had been hadn't been much of anything. He would have been surprised if it did more than let Rex know more than Anakin's state of aliveness, any maybe the general direction he might be in. To be able to hold several bonds at once?

Clearly, Anakin really needed to re-evaluate what he thought Sensitives who didn't make the Jedi midichlorian count cut off were capable of. He thought he'd been doing okay with Kix, but he obviously still had some work to do yet.

Something else occurred to Anakin. If this is what Rex could do unaided, what could Kix do? Also, since he hadn't sensed Rex, how many more of his men were like him?

Well.

Anakin ran his hand over Rex's hair again absently, breathing steady to let Rex shakily copy him.

He was going to need to search his mind for more bonds, wasn't he.

There were worse things.

Anakin could also admit to himself in the very back of his mind where he kept his more raw tender parts secret, that he almost hoped he found more. Bonds could only ever be made by at least one person reaching out, consciously or otherwise. If he found more it meant his men trusted him, at least a little.

It meant they wanted him.

He felt Rex slowly, slowly loosen his hold on their bond as his breathing smoothed out. For his part, Anakin just let himself settle back fully on his heels, barely noticing how the ligaments in his hips protested the treatment.

It was going to take a lot less energy to maintain his bonds than the Council probably hoped for, if more of his men turned out to be like Rex. Like Kix.

Well, joke was on them—energy saved was energy that could be used elsewhere. All it really meant was that Anakin would have some wiggle room for some of the more...interesting tricks the holocrons had told him about, possibly more. He'd also, he recalled, read some pretty cool stuff in the Archives he could look into again—after all, if he was going to be breaking one of the main Jedi tenets, he may as well go all out.

Water for wandering.

Research. He needed to research.

Later.

For now, he had Rex to take care of, and—

Someone crossed through the second shield into the hall leading to his tiny room, their Signature bright and intent on—a quick swipe of the Force around them gave Anakin a very strong impression of his next nutrishake meal rolling in sealed bottles across the tray in the person's hold— his room.

The Padawan Healer. Their ire charged the air, and Anakin retreated before they noticed his prodding. He'd met Separatists more pleasant than that teenager.

He'll do his research later.

First, Rex, then food. When that’s done, and Rex felt better, he'd ask the mouse droids to bring him some datapads from the Archives.

[phoenixyfriend]

Aside from the obvious angst implications, the Sky-Widow Clones AU also offers up a new batch of potential Off Duty Clone Shenanigans, this time with bonus little sisters all running off the same core values and logic of Anakin “I’ll try spinning, that’s a good trick” Skywalker. No amount of mental conditioning is gonna erase that part of them completely, though the chips probably eventually will.

IDK how much of this you've seen of the AU but there's quite a bit of shenanigans:

- Context: Skysisters AU - List of Aniclones with attributes - Shipping and the Beginning of the End - The Adventures of Jinn and Kebi (and Korkie) - bulletpoint thoughts - (chrono)

But here's a few more ideas:

A lot of the first gen clones (the CCs, Rex, etc.) are more protective than actually engaging in the shenanigans, because the younger field Aniclones (not the CG Aniclones) hit the "Oh no, padawans, must protect," buttons.

However! Shinies that join once the girls have hit their stride, and the Shiny Fetts are in the same age grouping as the active Aniclones? They absolutely have a blast.

212th shinies know that Addie's always trying to be more like Obi-Wan and Cody, and so I like the idea that some of them do Study Games with her, which isn't quite the shenanigans you're suggesting, I think, but I'm a fan.

A lot of the Aniclones are the kind of Jedi kid that like to use time off to do acrobatic tricks for the heck of it, and so it's not uncommon to see a drags the clones into doing cupies and double cartwheels with her.

Jinn and Kebi are raising hell and they dragged Korkie, and eventually some deserter clones, into it with them.

Tilly (Pest) shows up to the Corrie barracks with Fun Drinks of the sugary kind, and baked goods, on the regular. Most clones don't like booze but they do like sugar rushes, and this leads to its own kind of chaos.

Despite being a mother Hen, Henrietta is 100% team "let's build a trebuchet on our off time and see how far you can throw me and Boba with it, I'll catch us with the Force and you can aim for the water, it'll be fine"

Some of Ducky's training includes floating a bunch of rocks for the Shinies to jump from one to the next like this.

The Shinies in Fritz's battalion get magnetized shoes so they can cling to the hull of her ship as she flips them around in circles (they're all wearing jetpacks, Feemor, it's fine!).

Stella and her crew get jealous and do the same thing but better because screw you, Fritz! This is now a competition!

Talas has an entire army of younglings so there's that. - I think this leads to small but intense baking competitions where everyone asks Talas, 99, and Alpha to judge their creations. - They'd ask Master Ti but she's a Togruta and her taste buds don't agree with a human's. 😔

Pixie got a sewing machine, and Siri gives her pocket money for fabric, and Pixie is making this everyone's problem. The clones in their legion sport handmade accessories that are slowly getting more complex as she gets better at this. The initial products are very funky.

Lamb, in complement, learned to knit because SHEEP.

Lyra has a SpaceTube channel and the more musically-inclined clones in her legion are in on it.

Rocker finds out about Space Roller Derby and set up some games of it with the Fett clones in her legion

Digit has an inexplicable rivalry with Cad Bane over something. Nobody can figure out what it's about but it sure is happening.

For some reason... I feel like Nightshade has insomnia and an unexpected result of this is that she got into aerial silks as a hobby and the late shift Fetts like to hang around and try it out when she's figuring it out.

BAUL likes to do pin-up art. Much sketching. The Fett clones high five her over it.

Harpy has the codes to Riyo's office. She has permission to stop by. She does not have to climb the outside wall in her pencil skirt and kitten heels and knock on the window for access. Guess what she does anyway.

Mauve tries so hard to be calm and collected and like her padawan sister but this girl cannot back down from a dare.

I think Teddie has like. A hat collection. This isn't really a shenanigan, I just think she'd like having a variety of novelty hats. Like the ones that have cat ears or the long mitten attachments.

Aimée introduces the Fett clones in her immediate friendship group to underground fight rings.

I think when Ginger has a day off, she dresses up as a Harpy or Belle and wanders around the Senate to confuse people and also collect gossip.

Krayt has pocket sand specifically to throw at Anakin.

Haunter and Slinky cause multiple games of "Bell the Cat" and none of them ever succeed.

I tagged in @willowcrowned for help because she shares this AU and she had some gems:

Robin discovers Jests and Japes from Yoda and proceeds to disseminate this information amongst the skysisters. Unfortunately, Robin doesn’t have a great idea of what pranks actually entail beyond ‘spray paint something that shouldn’t be spray painted’ or ‘bedazzle someone’s robes without their permission,’ which means that every one of the Skysisters then proceeds to do those two things. Multiple Jedi generals wake up with sparkling boots and walls painted a vibrant purple. The CTs helped.

Jinn and Kebi stumble upon a world that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan visited that miraculously doesn’t have a problem with them and proceed to read all the records of their involvement there. This is followed by some soul searching as they decide that maybe this diplomacy thing has some merits. Korkie sighs in relief. Six days later, when he discovers that by “diplomacy” they mean “veiled threats” and “blatant lying” he is less relieved. Unbeknownst to any of them, Jinn and Kebi are carrying on the Jinn and Kenobi legacy perfectly

Belle is widely regarded to be the best-behaved of all the Skysisters because of her poise and grace and affiliation with Amidala. This makes no sense to anyone who actually knows Amidala, because Amidala is crazy. So is Belle, who has a habit of hunting down would-be assassins herself and clapping them in handcuffs before they even realize she’s there. This ends up getting her a bounty on the lower levels, which seems great for the bounty hunters who take it because hey, she’s just a clone. Then they realize hey, she’s a clone, and most of them don’t chance bringing in the wrong one. (One does attempt to get Pest. He does not survive.)

[sgt-nerd-plays]

Grand Waaagh!

Long time, no battle reports. Sadly, there’s been a bit of a global pandemic going around and being a responsible member of the community, I’ve been avoiding big gatherings that might spread the plague. However, your old sarge has been vaccinated, so with the help of likewise protected people, I was able to get a game in. This time, I was able to bring my ork army. Not just orks, but a whole stompa!

The Stompmost

Game Setup:

The idea was that it was going to be a more casual game where we would bring a bunch of models, play on on oversized board, and just kinda slam minis together with a bit of objective holding as a treat.

I was, of course, playing orks, and bringing 2000 points, plus the stompa. My partner was playing Alpha Legion, and bringing 1000 points. On the other side, we had one person bringing 2000 points of Crimson Fists (Hi Ryolnir!) and another person bringing 1000 points of Grey Knights (Hi, Zuul!) Thanks to Ryolnir for providing several of the pictures used in this batrep.

I brought Ghaz, a warboss on warbike, a weirdboy, five meganobz trukkboyz, a trukk (for carting around said trukkboyz), two mobs of boyz (11 and 14 models in each), a dakka jet, five warbikers, and one of each of the non-HQ buggies, plus an extra scrapjet. Except I’m an idiot and forgot one scrapjet and the dragsta, so I had to borrow a scrapjet from the game club’s cabinet, and a wartrike which stood in for the dragsta. I played as Evil Sunz, though several of the units (the bikeboss and the trukk) were Death Skulls and the dakkajet was painted up as Bad Moonz. I know, I’m terrible, but the rest of my army was wysiwyg.

My Narrative:

Warboss Scragkill Gudluk revved his warbike impatiently. Somewhere there was a scrap, and he was anxious to get to it. However, he’d been separated from his mob. And if that wasn’t bad enough, da Boss had shown up, along with a bunch of red-painted gits.

Ghazghkul Mag Uruk Thraka, prophet of da Waaagh, was giving orders. “Awright, we needs t’get into dis fight quick, so I want you an’ yer other evil sunz t’haul yer guts like they was on fire, you got it?”

“Er, beggin’ yer pardon, but I ain’t no Sunz. I’m Death Skulls!” Scragkill slapped the side of his blue bike proudly.

Ghazghkull responded by smacking him on the side of the head so hard he fell off of the bike and skidded several yards.

When Scrag managed to hobble up and lean unsteadily against the side of the bike, Ghaz asked “What was dat?”

“Er, da red ones go fasta?” Scrag said uncertainly.

“Dat’s what I likes t’hear. Now, we’ll send in da big lad first.” Ghaz craned his neck to look up at the stompa, with its grot rigger crew scrabbling atop getting it ready for waaagh. “I gots a good feelin’ about dis.”

Da Waaagh approaches!

Our deployment zone was in one quarter of the table, minus a nine inch radius from the center. I pushed the stompa up as far as I could. Its only real hope was to get to the astraeus before it lost too many wounds. Most of the Alpha Legion units were in Deep Strike, ready to move in at a moment’s notice.

The Emperor Protects! As does this wall! [Credit: Ryolnir]

The knights player put his entire army into deep strike. The fists player, on the other hand was deployed a bit more defensively than my orks. If only I'd been so smart. He ended up going first, and he immediately popped the stompa. Its work done, the astraeus returned with full honors to its cabinet, where it would do me no further harm, since it was obviously going to be a really short game if it had stayed on the table.

However, this caused some follow-on effects for both of us. Because he'd hidden his stuff, he didn't have angle with a lot of his stuff turn one. On the other hand, I couldn't get anything into charge range that turn, and most of my shooting couldn't target his stuff either. I managed to take out an assault intercessor squad, but that was pretty much it. My partner's maulerfiend was stuck in the back of a bad traffic jam with my warbikers. This meant turn one was spent mostly untangling this while his units got into firing position.

He did have a good firing line on one of my units: The trukk I'd hidden to the side of the stompa, sadly only mostly out of line of sight. It was popped, and I lost one of my trukkboy meganobz on the disembark.

Da Real Treasure Was the Dakka We Found Along Da Way. [Credit: Ryolnir]

I was able to get a couple of buggies into line of sight with his melee infantry, however, and I was able to take out one unit of assault intercessors with my snazzwagon and boostablasta. Meanwhile, my two deffdreads were trundling forward to get their claws on something tasty. At the far side of the board you can see my meganobz trying to get into cover until they could make their way to a scrap.

Bullets! My only weakness!  [Credit: Ryolnir]

The grey knights teleported in, taking the fight to me at the midpoint on the board. Meanwhile, the crimson fists player moved his units forward out of hiding and began taking things down. The buggies folded quickly under some shooting from his speeder and aggressors.

On the other side of the board, the meganobz wilted under the knights' shooting and smites. Ghaz lost four wounds to the psychic onslaught.

Yo yo yo! It’s Grandmaster Dreadknight, and I’m here to rap about how the Emperor saves, novitiates!

However, now it was time for waaaagh! A bit of shooting took out a few of the vanvets, and then the deff dreads ran up and gave the last three a nice hug, turning them into crimson smears.

Where did da humies go, George?

Ghaz, the bikeboss, and the bikers all charged in at the dreadknights. The weirdboy cast fists of gork on the bikeboss, making him right killy.

Hit ‘im in da face! Den hit ‘im in da face harder!

It turns out that seven killa klaw attacks at S14, with extra attacks for each of the originals that doesn't do damage, is a lot. The grandmaster was a deadknight instead of a dreadknight. That robbed the bikers of any attacks, since he was their charge target. But fortunately, Ghaz got full attacks on the other dreadnight. ...Of which two went through, and were both saved against. Some days you get the waaagh, some days the waaagh gets you.

On their turn, the grey knights smote the crap out of the bikeboss and the warbikers, getting them mostly dead and finishing them off in the shooting and fight phases. Ghaz ended up hanging on with a single wound.

Last Ghazp

The Crimson Fist player wasn't idle during this time. He took out the dakkajet with some long distance shooting, then went ahead and removed the two deff dreads, one scrapjet, my squigbuggy, and several boyz. That left me with a grand total of one scrapjet, twenty-odd boyz in two squads, my weirdboy, and Ghaz holding on by a single wound when my third turn came up.

Orks don’t panic. The sweating and twitching is just anticipation of a good waaagh, is all. No one is fleeing, we’re just looking for a better scrap, is all.  [Credit: Ryolnir]

But that was when my allies, the alpha legion, showed up! So secretly, in fact, that no photographic evidence for their arrival can be found. Yeah, none of my pictures from that part of the game came out well. Ultimately, his obliterators and terminators managed to take out the crimson first redemptor. My weirdboy managed to kill the grey knights chaplain, but the surviving justicar of his strike squad was able to deal a fatal wound to Ghaz, finally toppling the Prophet of the Waaagh.

We basically called it there. The grey knights player had to go, so the crimson fist player did his last turn of shooting to see if we'd have even stood a chance. The surviving scrapjet took a surprisingly long time to die, given it started the round with only five wounds left. But when it died, it exploded, and thanks to the careen stratagem, it was able to leave its mark.

Enjoy your mortal wounds, suckers!

Ultimately, it's a little hard for me to analyze the battle too fully. The abortive superheavy duel skewed deployment pretty heavily. It probably saved me a bit of shooting in the first round, but it also meant that I wasn't able to any shooting off my first turn either. Going second definitely hurt me, since it meant the trukkboyz meganobz weren't able to get their full value (though they absorbed a lot of firepower before they died, which probably saved some other units). The maulerfiend never got past the traffic jam until turn three, and the other units he had were too far back to be able to shoot or get into melee.

That left me pretty much high and dry turn two, looking down the barrel at 3000 points without any backup. By the time he popped in on our turn three, I was down to about 650 points, 300 of which belonged to one-wound Ghaz. Even if he’d popped off, it’s unlikely we would have been able to claw our way back out of that deficit. If we’d gone first, waiting until turn three wouldn’t have hurt quite as bad, but as it was, that was two full rounds where I was effectively 1000 points behind the enemy.

In the future, I’ll probably ask that my partners not go quite that crazy on deep strike shenanigans, or at least come in a bit sooner.

All that being said, I had a ton of fun, and it was great finally getting my boyz on the table. I did learn a lot about pitfalls in setting up, how variable some of my units can be, and how to move things fast. I also learned some organization issues, and I'll know how to handle them better. In the future, rather than showing with a stack of double-sided buttscribe sheets, I'll have them singlesided in a binder, so I can flip through them quickly and know where things are.

On the ruined battlefield, the shattered armor of the once-mighty stompa were scattered and blasted. The remains of orks and traitor marines decorated the landscape. The adeptus astartes were the only ones who survived to recover their dead.

And yet, under the hot sun, some of the debris stirred. A massive ceramite plate was thrown aside, and the massive power weapon known as Gork’s Klaw emerged from the wreckage.

[thenuclearweaselhaslanded]

Grand Waaaagh!

Long time, no battle reports. Sadly, there’s been a bit of a global pandemic going around and being a responsible member of the community, I’ve been avoiding big gatherings that might spread the plague. However, your old sarge has been vaccinated, so with the help of likewise protected people, I was able to get a game in. This time, I was able to bring my ork army. Not just orks, but a whole stompa!

The Stompmost

Game Setup:

The idea was that it was going to be a more casual game where we would bring a bunch of models, play on on oversized board, and just kinda slam minis together with a bit of objective holding as a treat.

I was, of course, playing orks, and bringing 2000 points, plus the stompa. My partner was playing Alpha Legion, and bringing 1000 points. On the other side, we had one person bringing 2000 points of Crimson Fists (Hi Ryolnir!) and another person bringing 1000 points of Grey Knights (Hi, Zuul!) Thanks to Ryolnir for providing several of the pictures used in this batrep.

I brought Ghaz, a warboss on warbike, a weirdboy, five meganobz trukkboyz, a trukk (for carting around said trukkboyz), two mobs of boyz (11 and 14 models in each), a dakka jet, five warbikers, and one of each of the non-HQ buggies, plus an extra scrapjet. Except I’m an idiot and forgot one scrapjet and the dragsta, so I had to borrow a scrapjet from the game club’s cabinet, and a wartrike which stood in for the dragsta. I played as Evil Sunz, though several of the units (the bikeboss and the trukk) were Death Skulls and the dakkajet was painted up as Bad Moonz. I know, I’m terrible, but the rest of my army was wysiwyg.

My Narrative:

Warboss Scragkill Gudluk revved his warbike impatiently. Somewhere there was a scrap, and he was anxious to get to it. However, he’d been separated from his mob. And if that wasn’t bad enough, da Boss had shown up, along with a bunch of red-painted gits.

Ghazghkul Mag Uruk Thraka, prophet of da Waaagh, was giving orders. “Awright, we needs t’get into dis fight quick, so I want you an’ yer other evil sunz t’haul yer guts like they was on fire, you got it?”

“Er, beggin’ yer pardon, but I ain’t no Sunz. I’m Death Skulls!” Scragkill slapped the side of his blue bike proudly.

Ghazghkull responded by smacking him on the side of the head so hard he fell off of the bike and skidded several yards.

When Scrag managed to hobble up and lean unsteadily against the side of the bike, Ghaz asked “What was dat?”

“Er, da red ones go fasta?” Scrag said uncertainly.

“Dat’s what I likes t’hear. Now, we’ll send in da big lad first.” Ghaz craned his neck to look up at the stompa, with its grot rigger crew scrabbling atop getting it ready for waaagh. “I gots a good feelin’ about dis.” 

Da Waaagh approaches!

Our deployment zone was in one quarter of the table, minus a nine inch radius from the center. I pushed the stompa up as far as I could. Its only real hope was to get to the astraeus before it lost too many wounds. Most of the Alpha Legion units were in Deep Strike, ready to move in at a moment’s notice.

The Emperor Protects! As does this wall! [Credit: Ryolnir]

The knights player put his entire army into deep strike. The fists player, on the other hand was deployed a bit more defensively than my orks. If only I'd been so smart. He ended up going first, and he immediately popped the stompa. Its work done, the astraeus returned with full honors to its cabinet, where it would do me no further harm, since it was obviously going to be a really short game if it had stayed on the table.

However, this caused some follow-on effects for both of us. Because he'd hidden his stuff, he didn't have angle with a lot of his stuff turn one. On the other hand, I couldn't get anything into charge range that turn, and most of my shooting couldn't target his stuff either. I managed to take out an assault intercessor squad, but that was pretty much it. My partner's maulerfiend was stuck in the back of a bad traffic jam with my warbikers. This meant turn one was spent mostly untangling this while his units got into firing position. 

 He did have a good firing line on one of my units: The trukk I'd hidden to the side of the stompa, sadly only mostly out of line of sight. It was popped, and I lost one of my trukkboy meganobz on the disembark.

Da Real Treasure Was the Dakka We Found Along Da Way. [Credit: Ryolnir]

I was able to get a couple of buggies into line of sight with his melee infantry, however, and I was able to take out one unit of assault intercessors with my snazzwagon and boostablasta. Meanwhile, my two deffdreads were trundling forward to get their claws on something tasty. At the far side of the board you can see my meganobz trying to get into cover until they could make their way to a scrap.

Bullets! My only weakness!  [Credit: Ryolnir]

The grey knights teleported in, taking the fight to me at the midpoint on the board. Meanwhile, the crimson fists player moved his units forward out of hiding and began taking things down. The buggies folded quickly under some shooting from his speeder and aggressors.

On the other side of the board, the meganobz wilted under the knights' shooting and smites. Ghaz lost four wounds to the psychic onslaught.

Yo yo yo! It’s Grandmaster Dreadknight, and I’m here to rap about how the Emperor saves, novitiates!

However, now it was time for waaaagh! A bit of shooting took out a few of the vanvets, and then the deff dreads ran up and gave the last three a nice hug, turning them into crimson smears.

Where did da humies go, George?

Ghaz, the bikeboss, and the bikers all charged in at the dreadknights. The weirdboy cast fists of gork on the bikeboss, making him right killy.

Hit ‘im in da face! Den hit ‘im in da face harder!

It turns out that seven killa klaw attacks at S14, with extra attacks for each of the originals that doesn't do damage, is a lot. The grandmaster was a deadknight instead of a dreadknight. That robbed the bikers of any attacks, since he was their charge target. But fortunately, Ghaz got full attacks on the other dreadnight. ...Of which two went through, and were both saved against. Some days you get the waaagh, some days the waaagh gets you.

On their turn, the grey knights smote the crap out of the bikeboss and the warbikers, getting them mostly dead and finishing them off in the shooting and fight phases. Ghaz ended up hanging on with a single wound.

Last Ghazp

The Crimson Fist player wasn't idle during this time. He took out the dakkajet with some long distance shooting, then went ahead and removed the two deff dreads, one scrapjet, my squigbuggy, and several boyz. That left me with a grand total of one scrapjet, twenty-odd boyz in two squads, my weirdboy, and Ghaz holding on by a single wound when my third turn came up.

Orks don’t panic. The sweating and twitching is just anticipation of a good waaagh, is all. No one is fleeing, we’re just looking for a better scrap, is all.  [Credit: Ryolnir]

But that was when my allies, the alpha legion, showed up! So secretly, in fact, that no photographic evidence for their arrival can be found. Yeah, none of my pictures from that part of the game came out well. Ultimately, his obliterators and terminators managed to take out the crimson first redemptor. My weirdboy managed to kill the grey knights chaplain, but the surviving justicar of his strike squad was able to deal a fatal wound to Ghaz, finally toppling the Prophet of the Waaagh.

We basically called it there. The grey knights player had to go, so the crimson fist player did his last turn of shooting to see if we'd have even stood a chance. The surviving scrapjet took a surprisingly long time to die, given it started the round with only five wounds left. But when it died, it exploded, and thanks to the careen stratagem, it was able to leave its mark.

Enjoy your mortal wounds, suckers!

Ultimately, it's a little hard for me to analyze the battle too fully. The abortive superheavy duel skewed deployment pretty heavily. It probably saved me a bit of shooting in the first round, but it also meant that I wasn't able to any shooting off my first turn either. Going second definitely hurt me, since it meant the trukkboyz meganobz weren't able to get their full value (though they absorbed a lot of firepower before they died, which probably saved some other units). The maulerfiend never got past the traffic jam until turn three, and the other units he had were too far back to be able to shoot or get into melee. 

That left me pretty much high and dry turn two, looking down the barrel at 3000 points without any backup. By the time he popped in on our turn three, I was down to about 650 points, 300 of which belonged to one-wound Ghaz. Even if he’d popped off, it’s unlikely we would have been able to claw our way back out of that deficit. If we’d gone first, waiting until turn three wouldn’t have hurt quite as bad, but as it was, that was two full rounds where I was effectively 1000 points behind the enemy.

In the future, I’ll probably ask that my partners not go quite that crazy on deep strike shenanigans, or at least come in a bit sooner. 

All that being said, I had a ton of fun, and it was great finally getting my boyz on the table. I did learn a lot about pitfalls in setting up, how variable some of my units can be, and how to move things fast. I also learned some organization issues, and I'll know how to handle them better. In the future, rather than showing with a stack of double-sided buttscribe sheets, I'll have them singlesided in a binder, so I can flip through them quickly and know where things are.

On the ruined battlefield, the shattered armor of the once-mighty stompa were scattered and blasted. The remains of orks and traitor marines decorated the landscape. The adeptus astartes were the only ones who survived to recover their dead.

And yet, under the hot sun, some of the debris stirred. A massive ceramite plate was thrown aside, and the massive power weapon known as Gork’s Klaw emerged from the wreckage.