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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Ducktales: Terror of the Terra-Firmians! (Lena Retrospective) (Commission by WeirdKev27): Launchpad Looses his Last Brain Cell and I Loose My Patience

Welcome back Weblena Warriors to the second part of my look at everyone’s favorite Emo Teen Shadow Lesbian Duck... and probably the only one but hey, semantics, Shadow Into Light, which was made possible by viewers like you, the ultra humanite and a commission from WeirdKev27. Picking up where we left off, we have our first episode that has a different intended order than airing order.

As most of you probably remember, but some of you who joined later might not be aware of the broadcast order for the first half of season one is, in the academic sense, pretty fucked. It’s not Darkwing Duck’s entirely fucked by a web of badger spiders and a queen snake on top to make it some sort of train situation, but by just sorta airing whatever episodes they wanted to, Disney messed with the character balance so Huey got less focus, not that he got a ton of focus this season but still, as well as leaning into the episodes focusing more on the kids with less involvement from the adults which gave the wrong impression about the series. While it IS very focused on the triplets and webby, the show isn’t entirely about them, but as Frank has mentioned a few times, Disney Channel apparently has this WEIRD thing where they assume kids won’t like stories starring the adult characters.

Yeah I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while. Mostly how it’s so dumb I could swear Pauly Shore was an exec at Disney Channel. And he might be I don’t know what he’s doing these days and i’d like to keep it that way. For starters, the Scooge comics, while barely published in the US these days, are still popular globally and have appealed to kids and adults for generations and are mostly focused on him, with the kids in a supporting role and Ducktales, you know the thing your directly remaking here, was also mostly about him with the triplets supporting, if a bit less than the comics. Most of the Disney Afternoon was about adult characters, with any kids in side roles in the main cast. And it comes off entirely hypocritical of them to say this when the MCU is easily marvel’s biggest cash cow at the moment, and marvel properties have appealed to both kids and adults, like the duck comics, for decades. And if it’s because the marvel cartoons weren’t doing well , I’ll let you in on a little secret: Those didn’t do well because they looked bland and from what I’ve seen of them felt kind of bland, though I haven’t seen enough to fully judge. Kids LIKE adult characters as much as kid characters, and also like teen characters despite not being teens. Focusing on either is valid and while I LIKED Disney’s youth starring shows I also want another X-Men cartoon before I turn 50, and I bet kids would like that too, with the last one only failing because you bailed on it because you were throwing a hissy fit over fox having the movie rights, and do not get me started on that. Point is this argument is horse shit and should stay in the stables.

So yeah I do think this episode came too soon and it’s placement effected it at the time and as such it dosen’t have the best rep with the fandom aside from the Lena bits and that includes me. The fact it was very early in the series and the characterizations hadn’t yet sunk in really hurt this episode in places but is it really that bad? Join me under the cut to find out

We open at the movies! Which scrooge apparently hasn’t been too since the 1930′s or seen any on video despite Della existing and being really stubborn.

A rant for another episode. But the kids just got out of a Mole Monster movie, along with Lena, Beakly and Launchpad. Their reactions are as follows: Lena, Webby and Dewey really enjoyed it, Huey found it unrealistic... says the boy whose uncle fought a dragon made of gold a month or two back but we’ll get to that, and Louie was bored and felt it didn’t have enough of the ultra violence, kids these days it’s not about the gore it’s about the tension. And Beakly.. is just pissed Lena tricked them into seeing this and said it was educational. And the more I think about it the more this sounds like BEAKLYS fault than Lena’s. BEAKLY is the one who likely bought the tickets, who saw it was likely an r or pg-13 and who as we’ve seen HAS A PHONE, and ulnike scrooge probably isn’t so stingy she wouldn’t spring for a smart phone, so she could’ve just googled it, or whatever bird related pun is in this version.. gandered it.. yeah let’s go with that, gandered it, and SEEEN it wasn’t appropriate or walked htem out of the theater and ate the cost if she was that bothered by it. Sitting through a Horror Movie you didn’t research, didn’t pull the kids out of and dind’t bother to even check the poster for or use basic common sense is YOUR fault. And this could’ve worked fine, had Lena talk the kids into begging for it or had launchpad take them and have Beakly find out after, having driven to pick them up as she didn’t trust launchpad to take them home. Instead it makes the former super spy look REALLY stupid and feels really out of character for a SPY to not to do research. And it wasn’t like they decided on this later, Bentina being a spy was part of the character’s backstory from day one and its made clear as early as episode 2 in both airing orders. This is just lazy writing to justify the episode and I expect better from this crew.

But an argument errupts between Huey and Webby over the Terra-Firmians, a hidden race of rock people living in Duckburg’s discontinued sewer system, allegedlys. So Lena suggest simply going down which gets a disapproving look from Beakly, despite you know this being their bread and butter, and the fact that if she had a problem with Scrooge not being involved.. she could just call him. Exploring fabled rock people is something he’d be into. I mean there’s a low profit margin but it also costs him almost nothing to walk to the theater or have launchpad swing around and pick him up. Just gas which given how much he pays for jet fuel isn’t a big ask. But Beakly soon gets distracted by Launchpad whose convinced the film is real and is attacking the poster a grim sign of things to come as while Beakly annoyed me in this one on rewatch, especially after realizing the above... Launchpad annoyed me both times and for VERY good reason we’ll get into. This provides a distraction and allows the trio to escape. Cue titles.

After the title sequence, our heroes head deeper underground, there’s too much panic in this town... I mean props to Donald for trying something new but he really needs to rethink his cologne choices. Sex Panther is just.. not a good smell on.. anyone.

So our heroes journey through the depths of the subway system, and we find out part of why Huey’s so skeptical, as he finds anything that isn’t in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook to not exist, though the cracks in this already show as he’s added anything that does. We’ll get back to this later but as you can tell the basic dynamic for 24 minutes is Webby being a wholehearted True Believer and Huey being a Skeptical Sally. And Lena is just sorta “Eh gives me an excuse for shenanigans” about it. We also get a peak into webby’s mind as we see her notes .. which really just come off as Terra-Firmian fanfiction involving a war of succession between two sides, the terra’s and the firmies, something based on previous media, and also some doodles of a fictional candy called webby-dings and herself as a superhero, both things I want to see.

But yeah the first third of the episode is pretty simple, just them journeying, the occasional shift in the firmament, and it’s not bad, and there are a few great bits: Huey nerds out about rocks, and finds them way more interesting than a possible rock monster.

Which leads to the best gag of the episode as when Huey tries to pick up a big sample Webby, annoyed at his hyperfixation on the JWG, asks him to ask his book for help.. which he does by reading it and actually manages to pick the large rock up. This is halted though when Lena screams.. though she really just did it to draw them to an abandoned subway car full of glomgold posters for glomgold products because of course a failed subway project has his name plastered over it. You can’t spell glomgold without failure.. the failure is silent. Glomgold is not.

The fun is interuptted though by a livid Beakly who had realized they were missing in an earlier scene, after telling the Manager that McDuck Industries would pay for the poster.. and then found out Launchpad also destroyed the toilets “They come up thorugh the sewers!”. Launchpad that’s CHUDS, Ninja Turtles and Rats who raised Ninja Turtles like their own sons, mole people dig or use old mineshafts. It’s basic mole science. Also Beakly really shouldn’t sweat it, I just assumed the city has had a runnig bill witht he company for “McDuck Family and Employee Related Accidents, Mayhem and Shenanigans”. I mean he’s had Gyro on his payroll for at least a decade and a half by the series start, Gyro has leveled whole sections of city in an afternoon more than most giant monsters. Of which several have destroyed Duckburg. It got better.

Point is she’s livid about them sneaking off with Lena pointing out their some sort of adventure family and Beakly.. saying she won’t see them again, or at least implying it hard. I’ll put a pin in this, as the train buckles and a bit of seismic, or rock men, activity means their stuck. So they divide into teams: Beakly will go try and unhook the train car from the busted cars so they can ride out, Launchpad will go try and fix it, and we get this lovely exxchange as a result

Launchpad: Cool never crashed a train before Beakly: Can’t you try driving it without crashing it? Launchpad: Wha?

His face in that scene is priceless. He takes Dewey along. More on that in a second. Webby, Huey and Louie are told to stay put with Beakly only bringing Lena along because she dosen’t trust her. So since we have three split plots for a second... let’s split up gang, starting with the most aggrivating, middling with what you all came here for and why this is part of the retrsopective, and ending with the plot that directly heads into the final part of the episode.

Launchpad and Dewey: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay starting with the most infamous plot and easily the worst part of this episode, probably the worst plot in any Ducktales 2017 episode. That’s not hyperbole it’s really that bad and really pissed people off, as fans of the original launchpad felt they made him overly stupid. This is where the airing order’s a problem as putting an episode with a subplot where one of your characters is obnoxiously dumb right up front means they assume this is his charcter and not just one poorly written chapter in a very dumb but very loveable characters life, likely because the writers hadn’t figured out how to properly scale his stupidity with comptience.

So as a result we get a good 3-4 mintutes if not agonizingly more of Launchpad assuming something he saw in a fucking movie film was real. That.. that’s his actual plot. Need I remind you, he’s in his late 20′s early 30′s. He’s not much older than me. While other episodes have him as dim this one claims he CAN’T TELL FACT FROM FICTION.

There are lines you have to keep with your characters to keep the audience from hating them. They crossed it about 80 times with this plot and make Launchpad into a gibbering dunderhead who can’t do anything right versus a regular dunderhead whose good at one or two things and loveable enough for us to like him and not care about his numerous safey violations and child endagerment charges. Thankfully this is the ONLY episode that gets this bad and they clearly learned from this, but it dosen’t make it any less of a tough sit.

Dewey spends most of the subplot with a look on his face that just screams that he’s as done with this bullshit as we are, as Launchpad assumes he’s a mole person and brought along a pipe to presumibly bludgeon him, because wanting to cave his best friends skull in over stupidity is a GREAT look> Thankfuly he does not. And when the lights come back on Launchpad.. assumes he’s a monster because of bright light, GAH, and locks him out before they end up outside and the plto resolves itself by Dewey pointing out by Launchpad’s utterly baffling logic that he could be a mole monster, so Launchpad.. assumes he is.

The subplot’s later buttoned up as he claims “I love being a mole monster”, again diffrent subteranian creature launchpad, she says he’s not and my suffering is thankfully at an end. This plot just sucks, it’s bad, overly stupid and dosen’t work with an adult character. Someone like say Ed from Ed, Edd N Eddy, or someone who belivies in weird conspiracy stuff like Dale Gribble or Stan Pines. with either of them this plot would’ve been fucking great. I could buy it from Dale and it just comes off as his normal paranoid weirdness. With Launchpad it comes off like he seriously needs help because the episode frames it as if he can’t tell ficton from reality, and his splotlight episode later would directly contridct this and make this episode even more aggrivating, as he’s a fan of Darkwing Duck, and KNOWS it’s acted out by an actor, so why wouldn’t he get this? It’s just....

It sucks, it sucks and I thankfully get to move on to a better subplot

Beakly and Lena: What You Are in the Dark

Beakly tells Lena she’ll never see Webby again after this.. then chastises her when she won’t help despite you know having just said she’s going to force their friendship apart, which Lena points out. She then gets mad at Lena making a sarcastic comment at her. Okay she’s lived with Louie for at least a week in airing order and a month or two in actual order. She has to be used to this by now. She’s insolent.. because you show her no respect, blame her for something that while sure she talked you into, you should’ve known better, and top it off by saying you want to keep her from the kids because they have bright futures and come from good familes and asks who rasied her and her face.. well.

Yeah wheras Launchpad and Huey, more on that in a second, were hurt by this being some of their earliest big roles, Bentina wasn’t.. until later when we found out just HOW bad Magica is to Lena and how much she dosen’t care about her other than as a tool to use. At this point we didn’t know just how much Lena was playing webby, how much she was only manipulating her, and even with her heroic act here we didn’t know if she only saw Webby as her way to break free. The next episode makes it clear she dosen’t and genuinely does care, 100%, so in hindsight it makes Bentina come off as ghoulsih for horribly asssuming about a girl she dosen’t know, and even if she did know about Magica wouldn’t know the full story, just like us, and then BERATING her after already saying she’s going to rip her away from Webby, which itself is PRETTY bad as she’s the only friend the girl has and sh’es doing so on... talking them into a horror movie, which as I outlined was more Bentina’s fault than Lena’s, and leading the kids into a dangerous place whicha gain, Lena pointed out is something she lets Scrooge do. And trust me i know that she actually knows Scrooge, and we later find out, as we’ll cover next month, that she isn’t ware HOW dangerous things are with Scrooge. It dosen’t change the fact she knows they do dangerous stuff to a point and that Lena may just be acting out. It also dosen’t change the fact she drove three children, yes including launchpad, down here with her instead of sending them home with Launchpad.. granted that option isn’t the safest but it’s safer than taking her with them thena cting like it’s ALL lena’s fault when three of the children, again including launchpad, are down there because of HER. Not Lena, HER. I’m harder on her because she’s older, wiser and was “raised properly” apparently. Though given the way she treats a random teen off the street she again knows nothing about and dind’t bother to ask... it begs the question.

IT’s a good question. I could see the classism coming from being raised in 40′s and 50′s britain, judging by the timeline.. but even then she’s seen the world, and while her nature is supscious, the classit bullshit makes no sense after presumibly working with, and later spymastering for, various agents of various backgrounds. How has she not dropped this in decades. Scrooge very clearly dropped the racisim and homophobia of his time, so it still stands on her for not dropping this. And Lena’s hurt shows under hte mask for the first time, that beneath the snark and secrecy.. is just an abused teenager with nowhere else to go and no way out being bullied by an older woman whose cutting off the only light at the end of the tunnel nto for good reason but out of classist, overprotective mallice. My issues, which to be fair probably were intentional in the episode but sitll are a bit overblown, aside we do get an absoluttley tremendous moment later as a car falls on top of Beakly.. and Magica, speaking once more urges Lena to leave her, let her die and let their plans progress. And while that iself is.. dumb, what if someone finds her or her corpse later, especially since Scrooge would likely perosnally want to retrive the body to give her a proper burial as she’s his only friend at this point, or the rest of the family questoin the story?, it fits Magica’s lack of foresight we see throughout the season. But Lena... saves her. While she later gives an explination, and a valid one at that, it’s clear from her expressoin, her actoins and how she does it... that this is her. Part of it is defiance, as she glares at Magica before doing it, her own stubborn nature mixed with her hatred of her “aunt”, meaning Magica just made it all too easy for her to do this. But the real reason is clear: It’s the right thing to do. While pissing off her aunt and getting away with it is the cherry on top.. the real reason is that unlike Magica.. Lena is not a killer, not a monster, and not a heartless vacum ofa person. Even if she doesn’t like Beakly, for good reason.. she can’t, she WON’T leave her to die and leave Webby an orphan again. She loves Webby too much to do that to her and while she may deny it.. she’s too good a person to leave someone to die for something so petty. Even if she never sees webby again and the plans ruined. It’s better than the weight of knowing she let someone who wasn’t trying to harm her and whose actions, while terrible, were out of misguided protection of her granddaughter, die like this. She saves her. And as we’ll see it pays off.. but before that.

Huey, Webby and Louie: Into the Unknown This plot’s a bit shorter, as Webby and Huey continue their argument, with Louie eventually making it clear, and not even hiding it when directly asked by Huey, that he’s playing both sides with a delighted expression on his face as the movie was boring but this, this is interesting. Which it is. But it’s interupted by dings on the roof and while Huey assumes i’ts just a regular rock, it moves while their not lookiung.. and soon red eyed, horrifying beasts look out at them and the kids flee back to the car. This dosen’t pan out as the car starts to shake and is clearly going to collapse.. and while Webby and Louie are prepared to flee, rock monsters or no, Huey, in an utterly heart shattering image.. stays in place, terrified of moving.

This is where this plot goes from mildly aggrivating, as Huey’s Skeptic shenanigans can get on the nerves.. to BRILLIANT. See at the time this was more annoying because it was assumed the skepticsim would be a part of Huey’s character and we’d get more episodes of him being annoying only to be proven wrong, as he semeingly dosen’t learn his lesson at this point, looging the terrafrimians in the guide book. But on rewatch.. this plot is amazing. For starters the plot subtly introduced the defening characteristic of Huey’s personality, one that’s become more prounounced in Season 3: His need for Order. He needs things to make sense: He solves stuff because he likes there to be order in the world and something he can understand, he can put in a box in his head. Like a lot of neurotypical people, myself included, he struggles horribly when the clearly defined boxes of his life and things he undestand have wrinkles or complexities he can’t get. I for instnace easily got it when I was introduced to the concept of trans people or being non binary.. they just make sense in hindsight: given how our brains are messya nd complicated it makes sense some people would be born in the wrong ones, and tht with all the science and medicine we have to correct that, should be allowed to transition if they so choose. It makes equal sense that some people just don’t have a gender or are gender fluid, being both or neither. Despite struggling with non binary prounouns due to force of habit.. I get the concept with no real difficulty. But when it comes to accepting I don’t have to apologize for everything and that everyone is not angry or that anger is natural and people sometimes get mad and you can’t and shouldnt’ fix it.. it’s something I STRUGGLE with even knowing it’s not right, because my brain is just wired that way.

That’s how Huey’s struggle comes off here.. he reveals he’s willing to stay and die.. because he’s SO scared of the unknown, that the idea of dying from something he at least knows what it is versus something he dosen’t.., so paralizyed by his own brain he can’t figure out the obvious.. it takes Webby reaching out to him figuratively and literally, to show him that sometimes you have to face the unknown. The unknown is fucking terrifying.. but it can be good and it’s better than sitting there, scared and unable to move. You have to try, to grow and take that risk that things may not go well to really LIVE.

So he does.. and they reunite with the rest of the group.. and soon find the terrafirmains.. who as it turns out once we get some light on them... are actually just goofy looking, brightly colored, each one matching one of the kids, kids themselves, and Huey reaches out and touches one, which by ET logic means their friends now, and the terrafirmians help them get out. And this lesson sticks. While sure Huey catalogues it and it seems it didn’t.. he’s never this skeptical again. This douchey skepticsim was only for one episode, his fear of the uknown replcaed with boundless curosity and from here on he’s CURIOUS about new stuff as long as it’s not trying to kill him. He loves taking in new experinces, maybe not to webby levels but he does actually try them and study them instead of just fearing them.

Before we wrap things up, obviously we need to talk about the JWG not having entries on a lot of stuff. This would be corrected next season as it returns to being a big book of everything, but dosen’t completely contridct this as Timephoon! shows there’s stillcgaps.. which i’m fine with. While it knowing EVERYTHING was fine for the original series here, with things being slightly more groudned, it’d just be an obvious plothole if Huey didn’t use it every single time they ran into something and that’d get boring. Instead it’s simply that it dosen’t know everything, and really in the comics at times it didn’t and the triplets found out new things. It knew almost everything mind you, but having some gaps for dramatic tnesion is fine with me and Seasons 2 and 3 decided on that instead of just having it being a scouting manual which wa sfor the best. And even by later in the season hit has guides to getting a small buisness loan, so they already course corrected.

So everything’s wrapped up and while Magica berates Lena for disobeying her.. Beakly interputps, thankfully not seeing magica and admits she was wrong and invites Lena for pancakes, even taking a crack about if their actually pancakes or english muffins with syrup, which sounds like my own living hell, in stride, having clearly grown. And Lena explains to Magica that this was the better approach: now she’s got the in theyw anted, and is above suspcison for now. Still not so much that an obvious act won’t be detected but enough that she dosen’t ahve to work actively around her anymore. Magica scoffs.. and while part of it is probably rage.. part of it is deep down both of them know she did it out of defiance.. and only Lena knows that she did it for the right reasons... she just dosen’t get why. She probably justifies it as playing the long game.. but deep down she knows something’s changing about her.. and she’s not sure if that’s a godo thing or not.

Final Thoughts: This episode is as you can tell a mixed bag. It’s 2/3 of a good episode, with the Lena plot, my issues aside, being excellent and the Terra-Firmian plot likewise fun, even if Huey can get grating the payoff is worth it, and the jokes are really high quality. It’s just bogged down by that fucking launchpad plot that just crushed my soul in it’s palms every time it came back. I went on at length why i hated that one but boy oh boy was the hate of that subplot warranted and I stand by calling it the worst plot of the series. It is: it’s not funny, it makes no goddamn sense, and it drags down what’s otherwise a pretty solid epsiode.

Next Time on Lena: Jaws the shark, lurking in the dark, in the depths of the bin one day of a lark decides to get rowdy, get real violent takes a vacay out to Duckburg er.. Island.. also Scrooge faces his greatest Nemesis.. a PR Tour to clean up his image after an unfortunate giant Beanstalk Incident. Be there and be hip to be square.

Next Time on This Blog: I Tackle a DCOM for the first time for another commissioned review as we take a look at racisim, specifically Apartheid and breaking indoctrination, with The Color of Friendship. See you next Rainbow.

#ducktales #ducktales 2017 #lena sabrewing #webby vanderquack #weblena #bentina beakly #launchpad mcquack #huey duck #louie duck #dewey duck #terror of the terra-firmians!#disney channel #disney xd #disney plus #disney #disney ducks #comissions

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inastrangerskiss · 4 years ago

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coffee

Tyler Rust x Reader

content warning: i'm mass posting these in my drafts and i'm out of quirky ways to say it's just a load of fluff

summary: the stranger ahead of you in line at the coffeeshop has the most ridiculous drink order

The rain beat down on the top of your umbrella as you hurried into the coffeeshop, your bag pressed against your chest. You pushed the door open, immediately greeted by the cozy glow of incandescent lighting and a wave of warm air. The space was only sparsely populated, a handful of people scattered about, some reading newspapers or books, some studiously typing away on laptops.

As you undid your windbreaker, a body brushed past you, raindrops from their coat splashing onto your face, the cold liquid dripping down your cheek. You muttered a few frustrated words but the person was already too far to hear you.

You hung your jacket on a free hook and grabbed a plastic bag for your umbrella before stepping into line behind the person who had dampened you upon arrival. He stood a good few inches above you, his hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. It was a light golden blonde, a color nearly brilliant enough to be mistaken for the sun on such a miserably dreary day. He stared up at the menu board as a young girl waited to take his order. As he tilted his head to the side you could see the way his cheeks lifted into a curious little smile.

“What’s in the yellow and blue tea?” He asked.

“Chamomile, lavender, and cornflowers.”

He didn’t say anything more, still pondering the offerings of the coffee shop.

Suddenly, his attention turned backwards towards you, as if he had only just noticed a person was waiting behind him. As his gaze met yours you noticed how handsome he truly was. His hazel eyes lit up and a look of embarrassment crossed his face.

“Sorry, I’ll probably be a second. Do you want to go ahead of me?” He gestured towards the register as he spoke.

You declined with a patient smile. “That’s alright. I can wait.”

He shrugged and turned back to the menu. You didn’t exactly mind standing behind him, especially not if it meant getting some more time to stare at his broad shoulders.

After several long minutes he finally stepped closer to the cashier, leaning a rain drenched arm on the counter. “Okay, so I’ll have a green tea latte, oat milk instead of dairy, a shot of blueberry syrup, a shot of vanilla syrup and a dash of cinnamon. I’d like it iced but not too much ice.”

You rolled your eyes, laughing quietly to yourself. The order itself took longer to say than to make.

“What size would you like? Small, medium, or large?”

“A medium but if you could put it in a large cup.”

The girl took a ten dollar bill from his hand, returning several dollars and a few coins to him after completing the transaction. The only redeeming quality you could find in the man after his ridiculous display of ordering was that he placed the entirety of the change in the tip jar.

You shook your head and took his place in front of the cashier, offering her a small smile to let her know you also heard what he had asked for. You ordered your coffee and paid. With the warm drink in hand, you made your way to your favorite table by the windows.

You opened a notebook, placed your headphones in your ears and began staring out to the street, willing a good idea to come to you in the form of raindrops pouring down the glass outside. The man and his absurd drink sat a few tables away from you. You watched him notice the coat rack by the door, abandoning his personal effects to place the wet pile of fabric in its rightful place. He returned to his seat and began flipping through a book. It was a guidebook to the local trails and hiking paths. Before you could avert your eyes, he looked up to you. You quickly looked away but you could’ve sworn you saw him smile.

You sat and looked out to the rainy world a while longer before inspiration struck and you began doodling ideas onto a piece of lined paper. From the corner of your vision you thought you saw him occasionally look up in your direction. You grinned to yourself but tried to shake the thoughts from your head in favor of focusing on the task at hand.

As your mind ran empty once again you sat back and stared at the ink laden page of your notebook. You couldn’t help but feel as though you were being watched and butterflies began fluttering through your stomach. The distraction was clear in your work and you ripped the page out, crumpling it with a frustrated sigh.

Time to start again, you thought.

More doodles were created, more ideas didn’t make the cut. The man continued to flip through page after page. When you were sure he couldn’t see you, you’d steal glances in his direction. He was built exactly how you’d expect a man reading a hiking guidebook in a coffee shop to be built. His arms were toned and muscular. His chest, although obscured by his shirt, was impressive to say the least.

And his face. His face was breathtaking. The way he furrowed his brow as he looked for a pencil in his backpack, the way his lips pursed as he meticulously underlined sentences. His fingers nervously folded the corners of the pages back and forth as he read.

A sudden snap came from his direction, garnering your attention once again. He stared at the tip of his pencil, now broken. Then he looked up at you.

The same embarrassed smile wound across his face as he gathered his book in hand and made his way towards where you sat. The butterflies you had initially felt had turned into a flock of crows, beating their wings against your ribcage as you searched your lungs for a single, steady breath.

“Hey.” He murmured. “I don’t mean to bother you but I saw you were writing and I was wondering if you had a pen or a pencil that I could borrow.”

You nodded, incapable of words as you searched through your bag for a writing implement. Quicker than you had hoped, a mechanical pencil found its way to your fingers and you produced it for him to take back to his table. As the instrument exchanged hands he stared at it for a moment, as if hesitant to accept such an abrupt ending to your meeting.

“The lighting over here is really good. I can see why you chose the table.” His voice was searching for a reason not to walk away but your brain suddenly found creating complete sentences to be a real challenge.

“Its my favorite.” You managed.

He looked from the window to your notebook to you and then back to the window. “You come here often.”

You nodded, desperate for an intelligent quip or interesting response but finding nothing.

“Cool. Well, if you leave before I do you can steal this back from me.” He wiggled the pencil in his hand and turned to go back to his seat.

As he got farther and farther, his steps got slower and slower. Finally, words appeared in your head.

“You can sit here too.” You called out to him, quiet enough to not disturb the other patrons. “If you’d like.”

He turned back toward you, his face lit up with a grin. He laughed to himself as he gathered his belongings and his drink and made his way back to your table, taking the open seat across from you. He was quiet at first, seemingly also distracted by the world outside.

You looked along with him, your two sets of eyes sharing the sights of the cars passing on the road, people hurrying to and from buildings.

“I heard you laughing up there.” He spoke with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes.

His tone invited you to come out of your shell a bit, to play along with him.

“I’ve never heard a more ridiculous order in my life.”

“It’s good. It’s my treat to myself after a long week.”

You could tell he knew he had sounded silly up at the cash register and a part of you almost felt bad for making fun of him. His face was timid but kind, a gentle warmth radiating from his demeanor. He had a certain way about him that made you want to wrap yourself up in his likeness, as though doing so might protect you from the world at large.

“I bet you’d like it, you know.” He didn’t look at you as the words came free of his mouth.

Your face twisted slightly. “Sounds way too sweet for me.”

“What do you drink?” He pointed to your cup.

“Black coffee.”

He chuckled as he sat back in his seat, his arms folded over his chest, seeming slightly more confident speaking to you now.

“Maybe it would be too sweet for you.”

You sat in silence a while longer and you noticed the flock of crows in your chest had dissipated, allowing for the tiny gentle hum of butterflies to stir pleasantly within you. He looked at your doodles, analyzing them way more than you had ever intended for a stranger to analyze your work process. You didn’t mind it, though. The part of you that normally would have closed the notebook didn’t seem to be present at the moment.

“I like that one.” He pointed to some abstract interpretation of what flowers looked like in your head. He ran his finger over the lines as he studied it and suddenly the sketch felt holy.

“Do you hike?” You asked, trying to mitigate the overwhelming fondness you had begun to feel.

The man nodded. “I’m new here. I was hoping to get an idea of what to do this weekend.”

“There’s a place down the road that has a really nice trail to the top of the mountain. It’s a great view of the city.”

“Do you hike?”

You pulled back slightly. “No, I’ve done that hike a few times but I don’t make a habit of it.”

“Maybe you could show me, someday.”

Words suddenly escaped your mind once again. You didn’t know this man. You had never met him. But as you sat there it felt as if you had known him for years, as if you had sat in this exact same spot a million times in a million past lives. And you felt comfort.

“Not sure I could go on a hike with a guy who orders a drink as complicated as yours.” You were impressed with your linguistic ability in spite of having forgotten any grasp of the English language you had once had.

“I promise you it’s really good.” He jokingly pleaded with you. “Don’t knock it till you try it.”

“Even if I wanted to try it I could never bring myself to order that.”

He looked down before carefully raising his eyes to you. “What if I order it for you?”

“I have a drink.” You laughed.

“Not today. Maybe, let’s say, Wednesday?”

The pieces clicked into your brain. He was asking you on a date. The man you didn’t know but knew all too well was asking you on a date. And you weren’t about to say no.

“If I hate it you have to finish it.”

His pensive face exploded into a beaming expression. “I’ll order one for you and one for me. That’s how confident I am.”

You wanted to tell him he was crazy but you couldn’t. He was too sweet, too irresistible. The frustration you had felt towards him earlier had altogether become a foreign emotion. All you felt now was affection.

“Can I have your name before I agree to this taste test?” You asked.

Slowly, as to not jostle the table, he leaned forward, pencil in hand, and wrote out the name Tyler on your notebook. The letters carefully wound up the length of the flower sketch he had complimented earlier. It was as if that were the missing piece to the image all along. He sat back and looked out the window.

With a smile, he sat back.

“I promise you,” he spoke with a gentleness in his voice. “You’ll love it.”

You were sure you were going to.

#tyler rust #russ taylor #ryan taylor #tyler rust imagine #tyler rust fanfiction #tyler rust x reader #nxt imagine #taylor rust #i just want to like telepathically send him love so here is a fic about loving him

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official-weasley · 4 years ago

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The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley: Pt. 5, Ch. 3

PART 5: THE YEAR WHEN EVERYONE FIGHTS Chapter 3 - The Vera Verto Fight

Nova

We decided to go study down by the Lake as it was the only sunny day in the whole week. We had blankets and jackets and hot tea and sweets, so we were well prepared.

Bill, Charlie, Tulip, Tonks, and I sat down, ready to open our books. We knew that Penny wouldn't join us as she was studying with Andre and by the look on her face the morning after her 'unofficial date' in Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop, I was ready to bet that what they were doing in the Library wasn't just studying.

I grabbed my Advanced Transfiguration notes and sat between Bill and Charlie. Every time Charlie turned a page in his Defense Against the Dark Arts book, I placed my head on his shoulder to see if there was something I might need to revise. Bill asked if he could copy some of my Advanced Transfiguration notes as what Professor McGonagall was teaching me, he had to learn for his N.E.W.T.s.

I couldn't believe this was the last year we would have with Bill at Hogwarts. I was going to miss him and I think so was Charlie as he invited him to join us studying more often than any other year before that.

I didn't want to be too confident but I felt very prepared for both my Transfiguration and Care of Magical Creature O.W.L.s that's why I decided to ask Tulip to help me with Astronomy first and later I was planning to ask Tonks to help me with Herbology.

Tulip was just explaining the magical powers a Solar Eclipse has when I caught Penny and Andre rushing towards us with the corner of my eye. Andre looked rather worried and Penny was holding something behind her back.

“Nova, we need your help!” She breathed, kneeling in front of me. Charlie groaned as she sat on his notes. “Sorry, Charlie.” She apologized and looked back at me.

“What's wrong?” I asked, worried. “Well, I was helping Andre with his Transfiguration spells and he cast the animal to goblet spell on one of the school mice and it doesn't look good.” She made a squeamish face. She took the thing she was holding from behind her back and I gasped at the sight of it.

The goblet, which was supposed to be perfectly transfigured from a mouse, had white fur and a pair of eyes. Tulip and Tonks started laughing.

“It's not funny!” Penny frowned at them. “It can happen to anyone.” She defended Andre. “Of course it can.” Charlie reassured her, even though I sensed some sarcasm in his voice. I giggled.

“Well, let me try fixing it.” I took the half mouse half goblet from her hands and placed it on one of my books. “Reparifarge.” I whispered. The mouse-goblet monstrosity quickly turned back into its animate object and Charlie leaned forward to catch it as it was ready to escape. His eyes glowed as he was observing the little creature. Animal lover!

“How did you do that?” I looked up at Andre, who was staring at me with an open mouth. “We learned this spell in class 2 years ago, Andre.” I giggled. “Now, could you please explain to me what went wrong?”

Andre started to tell us how he did the spell exactly as he remembered McGonagall do it. Three taps on the mouse with his wand and saying the incantation. Penny was sure that he pronounced it correctly.

“And did you focus on the goblet? Did it appear in your mind?” I asked. “You sound like McGonagall.” Andre was still stunned.

“That's why I brought you to her, nobody except McGonagall can teach you as Nova can.” The lot all nodded in agreement and I couldn't help but blush as I was flattered.

“Sit down Andre.” I tapped the space in front of me. “Tell me five features of a mouse.” I pointed at the mouse now napping on Charlie's head for which he was over the roof about. “Its fur is white. It has red eyes. It's alive. It has a hairless tail. It has tiny little claws.” He counted on his right hand. I nodded. “Now, do the same for the goblet.” I continued. “For the goblet? Why does it matter what kind of a goblet it turns out to be?” He looked puzzled. I slammed my hand to my forehead.

“Andre, do you ever listen in Transfiguration?” I asked, trying not to offend him. “Even I know we have to have a clear picture of the goal object in our mind, mate.” Charlie added. “See, that's what probably went wrong.” Penny touched Andre's shoulder.

“So what am I supposed to do?” He frowned, trying hard to think.

“Let's start with the most simple goblet. Its five characteristics: it's made out of gold, it has a metallic taste, it has a finely polished gold color, it's about the same size your half-mouse goblet was and let's say it has a little heart inscribed in it.” I decided to mock Penny a little and have some extra fun. I heard Tulip and Tonks giggle as they were on to me.

“Let me show you how to do it, just in case something went wrong during the casting as well.” I took my wand out of my robes and I turned to Charlie and took the mouse from him and in return, I got the saddest little expression on his face. My poor Weasley! I held the mouse in my hand and pointed my wand at it.

“One, two, three...” I tapped on the mouse. “Vera Verto.” The transfiguration was perfect. The goblet looked just as I described it to Andre. He stared at it, his mouth open. The rest of them seemed pretty unphased by it as it didn't come as a surprise to them at all that I transfigured something perfectly.

“Now, it's your turn.” I untransfigured the mouse again and gave it back to Charlie, whose eyes beamed. “I want you to close your eyes and imagine the goblet I just described to you.” Andre closed his eyes and I gave him a few moments trying not to rush him.

“Okay, I think I'm ready.” I turned to Charlie again and he frowned at me, giving me the mouse.

I placed the mouse on top of my books.

“Since Penny said you didn't have any problems casting the spell, give it a try.” We all looked as Andre took a deep breath. He pointed his wand at the mouse and made three taps.

“Vera Verto.” He said and the mouse transformed into a goblet I made him imagine.

He managed to cast the spell perfectly. Tulip, Tonks, Charlie, and Bill clapped while Penny hugged me.

“Blimey, Nova. Thank you!” Andre said and reached for something in his bag. He took out a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans and handed it to me. “I don't know how else to thank you for this. You might've just saved my Transfiguration O.W.L.” He smiled at me.

“Oh, no problem.” I grinned, proud of myself and him for managing to do it on his first try. Well, second try if we count the disaster they brought with them.

“Well, see you lot around. Nova, see you on the pitch tomorrow.” He nodded at me as he stood up. “And I'll guess I'll see you later Penny.” He turned to her and I could swear both of them blushed. Could they be more adorable!

After that lesson, we all reckoned we should take it easy as we have been doing nothing but studying lately. We all waited for Andre to leave and then we turned to Penny.

“I'll see you later, Penny.” Tonks imitated Andre and turned her hair dark brown and short like his was. We all burst out laughing.

“Oh, bugger off!” She said even though I could see she didn't mind the teasing.

I placed my head on Charlie's legs and looked at the leaves moving back and forth on the branches above us. Bill decided to doodle in my notebook. He was the only one besides Charlie that I let him do that as he always left an inspirational quote or a cute little note like 'You're going to have a great day!' in it.

Just as Tulip started to snooze on Tonks' shoulder Penny started talking about O.W.L.s again. She wanted to know how we were progressing, what we were most afraid of, which subject was the easiest for us to study, and then she tried to make us feel guilty by saying that they are just around the corner and that we can't afford any days off while having her nose deep in Tonks' Herbology notes.

At this point, Tonks wasn't the only one who was annoyed by her. I exchanged looks with Charlie and Tulip who both rolled their eyes and as we just wanted to take the rest of the day to relax, I decided to say something to her.

“Penny, sweetie, I love you but for the sake of all of us could you stop for a second.” I pleaded.

“What?” Penny was confused at her interruption.

“All you talk about are O.W.L.s! We have quite a few months to go and today is the first day we have off since the professors have bombarded us with work since 2nd September and besides, we did well today already as we helped Andre with Transfiguration. We just want to relax a little.” The group nodded in agreement but Penny obviously didn't see that as she frowned.

“Oh, yeah. Well, all you talk about are animals!” She struck back. Tulip gasped and it made Tonks sit up straight.

“Excuse me?” I pressed my hand to my chest, shocked as that came out of nowhere. I thought I asked her to stop talking about O.W.L.s nicely. Penny stood up and I followed her lead. “At least I talk about something relaxing that doesn't put immense pressure on all of us.”

“You know Nova, sometimes you're just...you're...” I glared at her, my eyes narrowing. “Yes, what am I? Say it!” I hissed at her. If she isn't going to be nice, neither am I.

“You're so reckless about your education because you think you don't need to do good in anything else than Care of Magical Creatures to be a Magizoologist!” That even made Charlie gasp.

“Girls...” Bill tried to stand up, as I am sure since Penny took a step closer to me, that as a Head Boy he felt obliged to intervene. When Penny and I both darted him with our angry looks, he decided to sit back down. “You ought to sit this one out, mate.” I heard Charlie whisper to him. They continued to look at us.

“Yes,” continued Penny, “and you are also oblivious to your love life.” All of them including me gasped now. I bet they are sorry they ate all their sweets already as I can imagine this was a good show for them. “And WHAT is that supposed to mean?” I barked at her. “Oh, Quidditch this and Quidditch that. It was obvious since day one you like that McNully boy. Just admit that you have a crush Nova, it's not the end of the world!”

“You have a crush on McNully?” Tonks interrupted our staring contest. “See, I didn't think of him.” Tulip said, reminiscing on her guessing list. “Really?” Charlie said, but to my surprise, his voice was rather sad compared to the excited Tonks and Tulip who couldn't wait to find out more details.

“That was uncalled for, Penny!” I yelled at her now as if we weren't already attracting enough audience from other students at the Lake. “Oh, come on. Why do you have to make such a deal out of it? Hiding it all last year! It's just a crush, we're teenagers we all have one!” She extended her hand pointing at our friends. “Oh, yeah? Like you had one on Bill in our 3rd year?” Bill was the one that gasped now. Tulip started to clap at this point as the show kept getting better and better.

Bill cleared his throat and as Penny and I looked at him he winked at her. Charlie punched him gently in the shoulder. “Oh, get off it, Bill. Never going to happen.”

Penny looked back at me completely unphased by Bill's wink which seemed to offend him.

“Oh, I can't deal with you right now!” Penny started to pack her bag and put it on her shoulder. “Where are you going? Studying for O.W.L.s?” I put as much emphasis on the last word as I could. I have never seen Penny so red in the face, not even when Andre was around. “Yes, for the matter of fact, yes I am!” Was the last thing she said and stormed off. I scoffed and sat back down.

“She had a crush on me?” After a few minutes, Bill broke the silence. “Now is not the time, Bill.” I put my hand up to stop any further questioning.

We sat in silence at what seemed like an eternity. I couldn't believe what a fight I just had with Penny and I felt so bad about it as I was thinking how are we going to recover from this. Tulip interrupted my train of thought.

“Nova, I'm sorry to be the first one to speak and I know you both said some things that you didn't mean but you have to go after her. Your friendship is more important than revealing some stupid crush or the O.W.L.s, but don't tell Penny I said that.” She was right, I had to go after her.

I stood up and ran to the Library which was the obvious choice for my search for Penny. I ran as fast as I could, the guilt killing me. I tried to be as quiet when I stepped into the Library as I possibly could. I found her at one of the more remote tables. It was obvious she wanted to hide away from everybody.

“What do you want?” She asked, her eyes red. “Penny, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say the things that I did.” I gestured if I could sit next to her and she pulled out a chair.

“Yeah, well you're right. I am obsessing over O.W.L.s too much. I just can't help it. I am so worried about them and we have so many other things to do, it's really scary what our Sixth and Seventh Year will be like, you know.” She hiccuped.

“I know. And perhaps we don't show it Penny, but we are all just as worried.” I placed my hand on her back. “But you have to cut yourself some slack. Do you remember Bill's O.W.L.s, he looked like a Mummy!” Penny chuckled at the memory.

“You're right. I should try to take a day off here and there.” She sighed and looked at me. “I'm sorry I snapped at you like that. And I'm sorry I revealed your crush in front of everyone. I know I promised I wouldn't tell.” A tear started running down her cheek.

“I know you didn't mean it. They would've found out sooner or later anyway.” I swung my hand. No boy mattered right now. I wanted us to get back to the way we were. “I guess.” She nodded even though I knew she won't forgive herself that easily. She took these things more seriously than I did. “And I'm sorry I told everyone, including Bill, that you had a crush on him.” She chuckled.

“Did you see that he winked at me?” She pulled a tissue out of her robes and blew her nose. “I did!” I was surprised at Bill's reaction.

“But I have Andre now.” The smile spread all across her face. “We almost kissed the other day.” She looked at me, her cheeks now red.

I gasped and leaned on my arm as she began to explain how they were cuddling in the Courtyard and she laughed at something he said so much that she leaned a bit too close and for a second she thought they were going to kiss but she backed away just in time as she didn't want their first kiss to be accidental.

When I was looking at her, talking about Andre with sparks in her eyes, I knew that everything was okay again and that I got my best friend back. We promised to each other to never snap at like that again and she promised me to stop nagging us about O.W.L.s so much.

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stressedkitkatttt · 5 years ago

Text

This Isn’t Going To End Well, Is It?

This is my submission for @papichriscnco's writing challenge. Thank you for extending it an extra 2 weeks and congrats on 2.4k followers! I got a little carried away with this but fuck it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Prompt: This isn't going to end well, is it? (I altered it slightly to fit the story better)

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Richard smut, a little cliché story line for a Richard story but whatever, teasing in a restaurant, hair-pulling, an angry/dominant Richard, some begging, use of kitten and sir, this is filth, just absolute filth, I actually didn't expect this to come out so filthy but enjoy, bonus soft Richard at the end

DISCLAIMER: Do NOT think it is okay to take my stories and post them somewhere else without my EXPLICIT PERMISSION. Do NOT think it is okay to take anyone else's stories and post them somewhere else without their EXPLICIT PERMISSION. Giving credit does NOT count as permission. You may reblog my stories, you may NOT repost my stories without MY PERMISSION.

~~~~~~~~~ You were currently at school, watching the clock slowly tick time away as you waited for the class to end. You know that staring at the clock makes time go slower but you can't help it. You were very, very bored. You sigh and begin to doodle in your notebook, getting lost in your thoughts and zoning out completely until the bell rings. You were quick to pack up your things and make your way towards the school parking lot.

You wanted to leave the parking lot before it got busy with other people. You had witnessed enough accidents in this parking lot to make you park more towards the back. You unlock your car and throw your things in the backseat, turning the key, and making your way out. As you begin driving towards your shared apartment, you begin to think about some ways you could relieve some of your stress when you get home. You unconsciously lick your lips at the thought of the shirtless picture Richard had sent you earlier.

When you reach your apartment, you park in your designated parking space and grab your things, rushing to the elevator. You reach your floor and pull out your apartment key and open the door. Looking around and seeing an empty living room, you make your way towards the bedroom and peek inside. Richard was laid out on the bed in his sweatpants and no shirt, scrolling through his phone. He looks up and smiles, motioning for you to go to him. You drop your bag and walk over to him, straddling his lap and burying your face in his neck.

"Hey baby," he says while gently rubbing your back. "How was class?"

"I couldn't focus..." You mumble into his neck.

"Why not?" He asks. You can hear the grin in his voice and you pull away so you're looking into his eyes.

"Because of that photo, you sent me earlier... I was thinking about all the ways you could teach me a few lessons." Richard's grin gets wider and he places his hands on your hips, flipping you over so you're under him.

"Well, I would love to teach you some lessons but I have something planned for tonight. And you know how I get. Once I get a taste for you, that's all we'll be doing for the rest of the day. So be a good girl and wait until after your surprise, okay?"

You whine and buck your hips against his, running your hands up his bare chest. "But papi I -" You begin. He stops you abruptly.

"No buts. If you behave, I'll give you everything you want. But only good girls get rewarded, so are you gonna be a good girl or a bad girl?"

"I'll be good..." You reply, trying not to show your disappointment. He leans in and kisses your lips.

"Good. I want your pretty little ass dressed nice by six, okay?"

"Okay." He nods before climbing off of you and walking out of the room. You lay there for a moment before turning to look at the clock. 3:21. You opt to take a nap before Richard drags you off to whatever he wanted to do tonight, with the promise of satisfying your needs afterward.

Richard's surprise was taking you to a nice restaurant, with an extra surprise that the guys would also be there. He had woken you up at 5:30 and told you to get ready. You remembered him say to dress nicely, so you went through your closet and found a dress you saved for occasions like this. It wasn't so tight it suffocated you, but tight enough it showed off your body in the best way. You start getting ready and by 6 o'clock you were ready to go. You had walked out to Richard nicely dressed and you wanted to throw everything out the window and have him take you then and there. But he quickly diffused your ideas by telling you to behave. But at the end of the night, he'd find out what you were wearing underneath.

~~~~~

You sat next to Richard in the large booth waiting for your food. He was talking with Zabdiel, who sat next to him. You were kind of hoping that tonight would've just been you and Richard, but you also hadn't seen the guys in a long while. But that wasn't going to deter you from doing what you would've done if you were alone.

You start simple, you reach a hand out and touch his thigh. Something he ignores, continuing his conversation with Zabdiel. You begin to rub your hand up and down his thigh, slowly making your way towards his clothed dick. You stop short, and when he doesn't do anything to stop you, you cup him fully through his dress pants. That grabs his attention and he brings a hand to yours and places it back on your thigh. You don't miss the short glare he sends your way. Your reply is a short, sweet smile, telling him that this was only the beginning.

You had to stop because your food had just arrived. You all begin to eat your food, hearing some conversation here and there. You let Richard eat some of his food before going back to your devious little plan. He was about to take another bite of his food when your hand had placed itself directly on his dick. He stopped and glared at you, placing his food down on the plate and leaning in close to you.

"You better stop now, baby." His tone held a warning. You wanted to laugh at how he thought he had any control over you here. He was a dominant man when it came to the bedroom and you rarely had any control. In this situation, you had all the control and he couldn't do anything to you without causing some sort of suspicion. You just raised a brow and squeezed his dick. He scowled at you, grabbing your hand and pried it off of him completely.

You quickly freed your hand from his grip and placed it right back where it was. When Chris called Richard from across the table, he had no choice but to leave your hand where it was. Chris was smart, and if he hadn't figured out what you were doing already, he surely would have if Richard had tried to move your hand. He cursed you mentally and started a conversation with Chris, very thankful for the tablecloth, which gave people the allusion your hand was on his thigh. You keep it gentle, not going too hard on him. You stop again once the waiter comes back to take back all the plates.

He keeps himself calm enough as you rub him through his shorts, keeping his head low but not low enough to have anyone ask what's wrong. You look over at your boyfriend who, for the time being, was at your mercy. You liked this, having control over the situation while Richard sat helplessly. You bite your lip to keep your grin from getting too wide. When you spot the waiter coming over with desserts, you get ready to time everything. You unbutton the top of his pants and when all the attention goes to the waiter, you slip your hand through the band of his boxers and hold his thickened shaft in your hand. He sits upright and straightens his back.

He grunts quietly and stares at you incredulously. He makes a move to remove your hand but you start stroking him, knowing all the right things to do to make him stop. He instead grips the booth seat and starts to focus on not making noise. You lean over and whisper, "I can feel how thick you are, you like this don't you?" He stiffly shakes his head "no". His body betrays him and his tip begins to produce more pre-cum, shaft pulsing. "I wish I could get under the table suck your cock, Richard." He lets out a quiet, airy moan before leaning into you.

"It's not going to end well for you when we get out of this restaurant." He growls. You smile, knowing this was the final straw for him. You accept your fate and find a sensitive spot near his base, making him jump at the sudden jolt of pleasure. The guys look at him weirdly, but you stop your movements entirely.

"Richard, is something wrong? You haven't even touched your desert." Joel says. Richard takes a deep breath before replying.

"Sorry, must've been lost in my thoughts..." He tries to control his voice. Joel raises a brow slightly before leaving him alone. He tries to focus on eating his desert without choking every time your hand reaches his tip and back down again. He couldn't wait to get home and fuck some manners into you. It doesn't take long for everyone to finish their desserts and when the waiter brings the check, the guys all pitch in to pay for the bill. Finally, the guys say their goodbyes and start to move from the booth, except for you and Richard.

You finally release your hold on him and he instantly buttons his pants up and scoots to the end of the booth. He keeps his back to the other guests and faces you, hiding his very prominent bulge. You take your time scooting to him, prolonging the inevitable. When you get within arms reach, your arm is grabbed and he puts you in front of him, hiding his bulge in your lower back. You were in for it now.

The second you were both outside, Richard unwrapped his arms from your shoulders and grabs your arm, dragging you through the parking lot to his car. He unlocks it as you get close and lets go of your arm to walk around to the driver's side. "Get in." He said, sliding himself into his seat. From the tone of his voice, you know not to push him any further. At least not here. So you get into the seat and the second your door closes, he's pulling out of the parking lot and heading down the street.

He begins to take the backroads, taking a route with as few stops as possible. There's tension so thick in the car it's practically suffocating. And even though you had pushed his limit tonight, you can't help but get wet at all the thoughts of how he was going to punish you. He was definitely not going to go easy on you, probably make you beg, teasing you until you're practically sobbing. Richard was an already dominant man, but when he was pushed to his limits? He wasn't going to let you have any control for at least a few weeks.

You get so lost in your thoughts you don't realize that's he pulled into an empty parking lot. He calls your name once and you snap your head towards him, now realizing you didn't know where you were.

"Where -" He doesn't give you time before unlocking the doors and telling you to get in the back seat. You almost want to say something but think better of it. He was subtly trying to make you piss him off more so he had more reason to be rough with you. So you shut your mouth and do as he says, getting into the back seat. Maybe he couldn't wait to get home.

Once you’re there, he's already working on taking off his pants and boxers, making his cock bounce and slap against his abdomen. He decides to leave his shirt on and he waits a moment before looking at you. "Well, it ain't going to suck itself." He growls, eyes pitch black in the low light. You blush and lean over, getting in a comfortable position before you decide you want to tease him one final time. You poke your tongue out and kitten licks his swollen tip. That doesn't sit well with him, so he grabs your hair and makes you look him in the eyes. "You better open that pretty little mouth because I am not in the mood for any more of your little games. You tease me one more time and you won't cum for a week."

You've seen him mad before, had some very hot, rampant sex with him, but this is the first time he's ever threatened to not let you cum. Usually, you were his good little girl and he'd reward you with whatever you wanted but to see you tease him like this? You'll be lucky if you get to cum at all. "Do you understand?" He growls out when you stay silent.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes sir." You didn't often call him sir, usually opting for "daddy" or "papi", and saving "sir" for when you were in trouble. Good, he thinks. He pushes your head down towards his cock and this time you take him in halfway. He shifts so you can have better access to his dick and so he has better traction to thrust the remaining shaft into your mouth.

"Take it all, kitten." You have to hold your gag reflex in, taking deep breaths. It took a few seconds to gain control over your reflex and to Richard, it was a few seconds too long. He pulls your hair back and thrusts himself in as he pushes your head back down and you get the message to start moving.

You set up a fast pace, making sure to lave your tongue against him and even drag your teeth against him. Richard groans and throws his head back, eyes closed and mouth agape as he keeps you going. "Fuck, that feels so good princess." You always thrived on Richard's moans - it let you know that you were doing things right.

Richard loves the feeling of your mouth on his dick and he could never last long when it was your mouth on him. Even if he was mad, the way your mouth worked on him, he couldn't help the slightly diminishing anger he had felt earlier. But that isn't what he wanted. He wanted to punish you for what you did tonight. He had told you that after the whole dinner he would go home and take care of you. Were you that addicted to him that you just couldn't wait? His ego inflated at the thought of you being addicted to him and be willing to fuck him in such a public place. He'd never admit to you that what you had done to him in the restaurant made him horny enough to want to split you in half, not caring who would see or hear.

He groans, the more you work your mouth the more he isn't angry, so he decides to pull your head off of him. In the dim light, he could see a string of saliva connecting your lips to his dick, which glistened. "I wasn't finished with you, papi." Your voice was slightly hoarse from the harsh thrusting of his dick in your mouth. He leans over,

"And I'm far from finished with you. Do you think you'll get off so easily? Just me fucking your mouth until I cum. After what you pulled? Oh no kitten, turn around." You feel the tingling sensation down below get stronger, almost like a pulse, as you comply and turn over, feeling Richard's hand find the zipper on your dress and pulling it down. It crumples at your knees, leaving you in your lace bra and panties. He already knew you were wearing something like this under the dress. He isn't in the mood to mess around and waste more time, so he grabs your panties and pulls them down harshly, ripping them in the process. Good thing it was a rather cheap set and not one of your favorites.

Richard shifts behind you, planting one knee on the back seat and the other on the floor. He lines himself up and begins to feed himself into you. You thought he seemed bigger in your mouth because of how dominant he was acting but now you're beginning to think that he may be a little bit bigger than normal. To be fair, you did stroke him in the restaurant and tease him to high heaven, so it shouldn't be shocking to feel him fill you up. Richard doesn't stop until he's buried balls deep inside you, basically pushing the upper half of your body into the seat and holding your lower half flush against his hips.

He leaves you no time to adjust and begins to fuck you at a fast and hard pace that has the car rocking with his movements. Your eyes close and moans of his name begin spilling from your lips. You're tempted to bite the seat to keep yourself from screaming but you instead bite your lip, trying to stay quiet. When Richard can't hear you, he reaches over and tugs on your hair. "Hey, don't silence yourself. Let anyone walking by know who makes you scream. Let them know how well you take my cock." He punctuates his words with harsh thrusts and you release your hold on your lip and let his name fall freely.

The only noise filling the car is the sound of slapping and your labored breaths as the knot in your stomach gets tighter and tighter with each passing moment. It won't be long until you cum. You try and warn Richard but his hard thrusts keep knocking the wind out of you. But he knows your body well enough and knows you're almost at the edge.

"You're close, aren't you?" He grunts. Your response is a pathetic moan of his name. He suddenly stops, buried completely inside you. "Do you deserve to cum?" You nod, your last act of teasing him. His response is a dark chuckle. "Even after what you pulled in the restaurant?" When you stay silent this time, he pulls out completely, hands holding your hips tightly as his tip rubs at your dripping entrance. You make a noise of weak protest, trying to push back against his hold and fuck yourself on his cock. "You shouldn't be surprised that I pulled out. Now, beg me to let you, cum princess." You whine and he pulls your hair, "What was that?"

You shake your head no. This angers him and he pulls his hand away and smacks your ass. Hard. You whimper at the sting and you finally break, replying to his question. "No, only good girls get to cum, papi."

"Did you learn your lesson?"

"Y-yes, sir." He suddenly pulls you up by your hair and flush against his chest, his lips by your ear. He has you in a position that has your entrance hovering right over his dick, holding you upright with an arm wrapped just under the swell of your breasts. All he'd have to do is thrust.

"Say please."

Your please is drawn out and high-pitched as you submit to him, making him grin. He thrusts up while pulling you down onto his shaft and resuming his pace. He moves his hand that was in your hair down your glistening body to your throbbing clit where he begins to rub harshly. Not even a moment later, you gush all over his shaft, feeling him coat your insides. He lets go of you and you fall forward, arms barely able to catch you as you collapse into the back seat.

Heavy breathing is the only thing that can be heard inside the car. You feel a hand come around your middle and pull you up into his chest. "Are you okay princess?" He asks. You had finally caught your breath.

"Yeah, I'm good. Though I don't know if I can walk," you look up into his softening eyes, "you might have to carry me." He chuckles and nods.

"But you learned your lesson though, right?"

"I don't know... If teasing you like that leads to sex like this? I might do this a few more times." He grins widely.

"Then I guess I'll just have to keep teaching you some lessons in manners."

~~~~~~

Taglist: @cracraforfandoms @kmsmedine @papichriscnco

#cnco #cnco smut #cnco prompt #cnco richard #cnco richard camacho #richard camacho smut #richard camacho #papichriswritingchallenge

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bookworm555 · 5 years ago

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*Reuploaded FOR THE THIRD TIME because I realized that this never showed up in any of this fandom’s tags the first two times I posted it :/ Now I am trying this as a text post with images instead of a typical art post because nothing is freaking working and I am so frustrated.

Because read-mores apparently make my post glitchy, I apologize in advance for the length of this post, and hopefully, it doesn’t clog your dashes/the tags too badly.*

Another CatCF/WWatCF sketchdump~

The top drawing is the characters from the 1971 adaptation ten years later (which was an excuse to draw 80′s fashion, haha).

Ten years later doodles (from left to right) Top row: Violet and Veruca Second row: Mike, Charlie, and Augustus

(I think Violet turned out to be the best of these doodles!)

Some headcanons for the ten years later drawings (this would have been the section under the read-more, if it worked :/ ):

I always headcanoned the characters in the ‘71 version to be thirteen, minus Mike, who I saw as eleven. So basically everyone in the drawing is twenty-three except for Mike, who is twenty-one.

Violet: For years after the nightmare that was the factory tour, Violet struggled with major body image issues, especially about her blue skin. (And is homeschooled because of this.) However, eventually, her mindset basically became ‘Wonka thought this was a punishment? Fuck that; I’m going to embrace it’, so she became more confident.

Once this confidence hits during her late teens, she uses her unusual appearance to her advantage (especially when it comes to attracting visitors/potential buyers to her dad’s car dealership).

She doesn’t go to college; instead, she works at her dad’s place, and basically learns how to be a mechanic.

She hasn’t chewed gum since the factory tour.

When Charlie contacts her and the others, she is hesitant to respond back, but ultimately does (to sass him, at the very least). During the group’s future meetups, she’s basically the glue that keeps them together.

Veruca: Unlike Violet, Veruca carries a lot of guilt about what happened during the factory tour, since her father was punished along with her. He fell wrong, and as a result, was paralyzed from the waist down, and is now in a wheelchair. Veruca was lucky; aside from a broken ankle, she did not suffer any worse injuries.

Because of this, Veruca becomes mute (her mouthing off and constantly asking for things is what led to her–pun not intended–downfall, so she decides that it would be for the best if she stops talking altogether.)

Despite the Salts being wealthy, Wonka paid all of their medical bills. Even though it would have made sense for them to take him to trial, they decided not to (Henry did not want anyone to see him in his new state, and Veruca’s anxiety spiked even thinking about the factory).

When Charlie contacts the four ‘rejects’ ten years after the tour, Violet starts to bring Veruca out of her shell. Though it is ultimately Augustus who helps her feel comfortable speaking again, due to his soft-spoken personality.)

Mike: Like the others, Mike was very traumatized by what happened to him during the tour. (Especially since he was younger than the rest of them.)

While Violet embraced her altered state, and Veruca withdrew from the world, Mike became bitter. Very bitter. Because, while sure, Wonka and co. were able to get him back to about normal size [after stretching him waaaay too tall and thin the first time; his mother fainted, then had plenty of choice words for everyone involved when she came to], the process was incredibly painful, and involved basically rubber-fying his bones and muscles temporarily (yeah, he still had no idea why Wonka would even create a candy that did that).

Because of that, he has scars all over his body–the most on his arms, legs, and torso–so he always wears long-sleeved shirts or jackets, and long pants.

He is pissed that his life was ruined at age eleven; sure, he was obnoxious, but he was a KID. Now he’s stuck with chronic pain, not to mention the occasional breakdown because he has no idea if he’s actually HIM, or just a copy that was beamed through Wonka’s television room that managed to keep his soul. (Yeah, he doesn’t like to dwell on that; he prefers to think that that would be impossible.) [A/N: That part comes from the fact that Wonka stated that the chocolate that appeared in the TV screen was a copy of the much larger chocolate bar that was beamed through the air, and not the original bar itself]

When Charlie contacts him, he almost sends a nasty letter back, but something in him pauses, and he ends up sending a civilized response. It wasn’t Charlie’s fault all this happened to him; Charlie was the nice one, and, though he would never admit it to anyone, on the tour, he thought Charlie was cool. Goody-two-shoes, but in the ‘Lovable TV Protagonist’ sort of way.

As the five of them start meeting/corresponding through letters, he lets Charlie past all the walls he put up, and is definitely the closest to him in the group.

Charlie: Happily becomes Wonka’s protege after the tour. He is ecstatic that he not only gets to live and learn to work in this magical place, but he and his family are finally out of poverty!

He goes to school during the day, then learns the tricks of the candy trade in the afternoons and evenings.

However, about ten years after winning the tour, Wonka just…vanishes. And that’s when Charlie finds the videos showcasing what happened to the other four Golden Ticket winners after their mishaps.

Charlie is appalled; looking back, they were all so young. Of course, they were bratty; that’s how kids ARE. (Sure, some of them were worse than others, but they didn’t deserve their fates! Essentially, the four ‘losers’, plus Mr. Salt, were toyed with and tortured, and their parents could not help them.) Mike’s was especially horrible, to him; it was the only tape he couldn’t finish.

This makes Charlie feel a little guilty; he got off easy, even though he also disobeyed the rules.

He is also torn; on the one hand, Wonka was a great mentor, and he was fond of the man–he made a good father-figure, for him. But on the other hand, this was a man who thought the way to get rid of a kid’s bad habits was to torture them.

Before he could think otherwise, Charlie writes letters to the other Golden Ticket winners. He doesn’t expect anything nice back, but is surprised to find that they are all willing to talk to him.

He is relieved; he wants to right the wrongs done to them.

Augustus: The poor guy falls into a deep depression after the tour. Sure, he was thinner, but he had no problem with how he looked before. Not to mention, even the smell of chocolate and other sugary sweets makes him very nauseous. Oh, and there’s the not-so-small fear of drowning that he picked up, as well as severe claustrophobia.

He felt like a part of him was lost, since he could no longer enjoy his favorite foods. Or food in general. He ate to not starve, but that was it.

He was already quiet, but after the tour, he withdrew into himself even more, preferring to spend time with the neighborhood cats rather than people. (Yes, he is definitely a cat person.)

But he still has his kind heart, so when Charlie Bucket sends him a letter, he responds right away (and is the first one to do so).

When they start writing more letters to each other, and eventually meeting, he helps the others through their trauma, while ignoring his own. He thinks he’ll always be stuck this way.

Veruca disagrees.

And in terms of schooling, only Augustus went to college. As for high school, Violet and Mike were homeschooled, Veruca went to an exclusive, posh academy, Charlie stuck with public school, and Augustus went to a private school.

Now, if anyone was interested, these are the outfits that inspired the ones I drew (though, obviously, I took artistic liberties with some of them). I wanted to give them each a different style: Violet’s is the outlandish fashion the 80s are famous for, Veruca’s is demure and preppy, Mike’s is pretty unassuming, but with a slight edge, Charlie’s is comfortable/casual, and Augustus’s is comfortable/slightly formal.

Left to right: Violet, Veruca, Mike, Charlie, Augustus

(And I imagine the back of Mike’s jacket looking like this, aka with a vent, which is why the back of the jacket isn’t visible in the gap of his legs):

WOW, that got so long (oops…), but those were just my ideas for how these characters would interact and act ten years later. Hopefully someone enjoys this, XD

#bookworm555 #charlie and the chocolate factory #willy wonka and the chocolate factory #mike teavee #charlie bucket #augustus gloop #veruca salt #augustus x veruca #charlie/mike if you squint #at the very least they become veeeeery close friends in this #violet ends up with hmmm...winkelmann?? idk?#-kidding-#unless XDD #my art #please please please show up in the tags

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jennadrawsandgames · 5 years ago

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Don’t Go Alone - A Creepypasta OC Story

Before I get into the story, I want to tell you all that this is an original character I created. A story told in a different person’s perspective. Other than that, I hope you enjoy.

I’ve never expected that this town was the heart of missing people. Just the other day, a report of three middle school children went missing. I was fazzing out whenever the news reports talked about the children, and their names. I mean, they didn’t matter. I’m not some type of investigator or police officer. I’m just an average teacher at the prep school downtown that opened just months ago. If I needed to know the children’s names, then I would care. Besides, their just about to become high schoolers. They can take care of themselves.

“Mr. Johnson, the principal was hoping to see you.” Katie, my TA told me as she dropped the class phone, snapping me out of a minor transition.

“Oh, okay. Thank you Katie.” I replied to the high schooler.

She looked kinda disappointed in me when I was just leaving the empty classroom. It’s like she’s missing something. I brushed it off so I can focus on what’s coming to me now.

The empty halls filled with lost papers of homework, little doodles, and missing papers of students. Just having the feeling I’m missing something myself. It must’ve been the coffee from this morning.

I managed to get into the office to meet with the principal, but everyone seemed to be depressed over something. It’s just washing over everyone. I just see the man waiting for me in the doorway like always.

“Good morning Johnson.”

“G-good morning sir.” I just felt so hesitant when the words came out of my mouth.

“Come in. I need to chat with you for a moment.”

He let me into the office. It was just filled with many papers of bills and missing papers of students and some teachers over the last few months. You can’t even see his desk with all of these papers from worried parents and government officials and complaints of how unsafe the school can be from the amount of people going missing.

“You must be wondering why I wanted you in my office.” William Woodrow gave me a grin hoping for the response I’ll give back.

“I was sir. You called me while I was preparing for my English classes with my TA when you called.” I replied back still feeling worried on where this conversation is going.

“Look, we’re not getting a good reputation with all these complaints of missing children and one of our own students going on a homiside just in October. I also looked into your resimay and your were in the army. Aren’t I correct Johnson?”

“Whoa-wait. What does being part of the military 4 years ago have to deal with being a teacher?”

“We need your help to find those missing children. I hate the school getting a bad reputation because the parents are coming to me instead of the government about their children.”

“Sir, I don’t want to look back into my military past. I never wanted to speak about it ever again. Please just let me be the thing I wanted to be-.”

“That’s why I’m not giving you an option. You do what you’re told to do, and you’ll do it.”

I went silent when he stated that to me.

“That’s what a thought. You and some other teachers will begin the search tonight, 7 pm. You’re the only one who knows how to use a gun, so you’ll be leading the group. I hope to see good results from you like always.”

I started to leave the room since that was the only thing he needed me for. My question is why Principal Woodrow making me and other teachers be a search party? Most of these children could be faking of going missing just to make is an excuse to not do school. I only signed up to become a teacher after leaving my past life behind. The tactics they’re teaching in the Army were very sketchy like we’re going for war against each other. I’m just a black individual trying to live a better life, not make it worse for myself.

The day continued on like how it should be, but I can’t get that thought out of my head. The principal has now gone insane. I just had to accept this offer. I need this job. If I lose the job, I lose everything. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.

It’s about 6:30 pm when some other teachers started to arrive at the meeting point. Most of them will back out of it and lie about the search. They eventually left at 7:00 out of the fact there’s no use to it. I went into the entrance of the woods all by myself. It sucked to not have others around me for support.

“Pussies. They pretend to be something they aren’t. Just man up and we’ll find out the truth.” I told myself since nobody was around.

The entrance to the woods is gone even from not making that much progress in. It gave me the chills to see only trees and freshly made foot prints from last night. This must’ve been where those children went.

It’s been getting darker, almost pitch-black. It feels like forever since I last entered in. Especially how I still found nothing. I was at the point of giving up when I found a stench coming from around the area. It smelled like flesh being cut opened just recently. I stepped onto a log, but it felt so squishy? The stench grew stronger the more I stepped onto these logs.

I looked down to see exactly what I was stepping on and was shocked. These weren’t logs at all. These were the children that went missing last night. I was so shocked that I couldn’t move at all. Fear just swallowed me up whole.

“You know, it’s funny to say for a man like you to be a fucking wimp and stand up for yourself.” A voice giggled around me.

“Who-who’s there? I got a gun and I’m not afraid to use it!”

“Andrew Johnson. English teacher at Pacific Prep. A private educational school for middle schoolers and high schoolers. It sucks how shady the government is to use students from that school as extermination weapons.”

“The fuck you’re talking about and how do you know my name?”

“That’s a secret for another day, if you can last. Everyone knows not to enter into my woods alone, or at least my father’s woods.”

I shine my phone’s flashlight around, hoping to find where the voice is coming from. This has to be a student prank.

“Show me your fucking face you bitch!”

“Aw.. You called me a bitch. Such an insult from a ‘holy man’ like you. You can say I’ve known you for a while now. Just hiding behind a mask.”

I managed to finally find some movement of a girl wearing one of the school’s uniforms? Half her face was covered with a mask that’s covered in blood. The worst part was how bloody the uniform was. I can see her holding a pistol of some kind. It was a custom made pistol.

“Uh oh.. You found me~.”

“G-get away you monster!”

She jumped down from the trees cocking the pistol up. I felt so defenseless when I met eye-to-eye.

“Who are you?”

“You can say I died in October, but never did. You can say the one who helped the government kill protesters that were fighting for their rights. You can also say I’m the girl who was falsely accused for many fights I’ve never started before getting suspended for breaking a bitches’ nose.”

“Evelyn Brooks? Holy shit. How are you alive?”

“I never died. I only escape. They thought I was the mouse, but I was really the cat with the mouse in my hands. Well bummer that you now know a lot. I could keep you alive, but that would never be fun.”

She didn’t answer my question. Well she did, but why like that? I just realized I still have my gun fully loaded, so I can get back alive. I quickly aimed at her arm and tried to shoot her, but she was already gone.

“Oh now we’re playing. Only one gets out alive.” Her voice rings inside my head as my hands gripped right onto the gun barrel. That’s when I felt a sharp object hit my back. I turned around to see nothing, but it happened again.

Shit, she’s too fast. I don’t even know where she is anymore. I need to think to get out alive. I’m already losing a lot of blood were also too deep in for anyone to hear a person. I just grabbed the gun and shot around the area hoping to hit the girl.

I ran out of ammo just at my second turning. This became bad, to worse. From at top, I see the girl firing shots at me. She was only grazed by some of the bullets, but nothing else. I was in complete shock how this girl survived that without being badly hurt. She definitely knows what she’s doing which makes it the worst part of it. She shot 5 times and all of the bullets hit me in my arms and legs. It just hurts to move anymore and dropped to the ground on top of the dead children’s bodies.

“You know, that wasn’t a bad fight you put up. The first one to manage a hit onto me. And I don’t go by ‘Evelyn Brooks.’ I go by Eve.” She says as she shoots the final bullet into my head and rips the knives out of my back. My body lies there as everything goes black.

“This is the daily news for today. This morning police officers found 4 bodies known to be the 3 children that went missing and the fourth one being the man of Andrew Johnson. A teacher for Pacific Prep. Before he was found dead, some teachers saw him enter into the woods near the town around 7:00 pm. He was the only teacher that fully consented to search for the missing children which the school funded a search party to find the students. Police also found a pistol that was there at the crime scene and looked into the gun and saw something they would never expected. Engraved within the gun, ‘Project EVE.’ Were theorizing that this gun to the owner was responsible for the murders of all of those peaceful protesters from October, to December.”

“We also heard about another student that goes to Pacific Prep, Skylar Evans, was considered dead by the government. Before she went missing last month, she was last spotted walking from a small cafe before heading to the school. They claimed to find her dead in the woods as well during the search party that happened earlier this morning. We’re not sure this is true, so we’ll keep the investigation ongoing. That’s all of the news for today.”

The television turns off with people surrounding the area.

“It’s nice to know you’re back from keeping the people away from our territory.”

“I did find someone hiding that was eating some flesh while I was on my way back. Her name, Skylar Evans, but she would be preferred to be called ‘Patient Ø.’”

“Thank you for the information Eve. We’ll have you get her to us tonight, so we can meet her.”

#creepy pasta oc #creepypasta #stories #I’ll have to edit this in the future

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Ready for 💔 💔 💔? Jimmy: didn't bring a 🎻 in but there'll probably be a 🌧 about in a bit so go on Janis: Clearly you didn't watch enough back to school hauls to adequately prepare yourself Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: you'll never guess who found her way to the 'how to catch a man' side of youtube though Jimmy: if it's Helena I really am fucking gutted Janis: Unlikely Janis: less she starts making a big deal out of how her MASSIVE TITS are slowly crippling her Janis: 🐰 has gone full 🐰🥘🥣 Jimmy: what the fuck kind of emojis are them? Janis: it's not my fault there's not a decent pot! Janis: also pretend to be gutted or she will be Jimmy: [draws her a lil pot emoji obvs] Jimmy: Who's pretending? 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have to console thinking about Helena's MASSIVE tits Janis: 👏 dead convincing there Janis: like 💀👑 trying to talk her out of it 'cos she's FUMING Jimmy: should've asked me to do the job for her Janis: check your DMs I'm sure she has Jimmy: [sends her some of the hilarious random DMs he has been sent lately like a highlight reel] Janis: the 💦💦 is endless Janis: you're SUCH old 🗞s Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: at least you don't have to waste a load of 💸 on tat for her in a months time Janis: which is the only reason she's decided to get in a VERY committed relationship with a 13-year-old in the year below Jimmy: Tah for the reminder to crack on with this fake break up before then Jimmy: good job our kid's young as he is or I'd have to 🔐 Janis: I'm the one doing the breaking up, remember that first Janis: seriously though Janis: doing my head in Janis: get yourself 💐🍫 if you're this arsed gals Jimmy: 💰 on loads of 'em doing that Jimmy: should probably set up that 💌 bollocks you were on about before Janis: boys handwriting would be invaluable to 'em Janis: can't stop dotting their ❓ with ❤ Jimmy: can write with both hands an' all so it won't even be knackering Janis: show-off Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: just leave your shit chat up lines like that out Janis: dead giveaway Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I know what I'm doing Jimmy: just gotta decide who I wanna send ones that ain't been paid for to for the #drama Jimmy: and whose name I wanna 🖋 Janis: [list of the 'loved up' couples of the moment that ain't them] Janis: stick whoever you wanna see get smacked on there Janis: easy Jimmy: this school have a postbox for it or what? Janis: yeah Janis: any excuse to be cringe Jimmy: I'll make sure yours is MASSIVE, don't worry and a top work of 🎨 OBVS Jimmy: 😘 Janis: my biggest concern, OBVS Janis: if you're still here I can do it the day of for all the 💔 points for you Jimmy: we're all 🤞 Lucas'll get on the roof 💐🍫😍 and fall off but you might have to put up with ✨ pissing out all over you when you open a card from me and nowt else Jimmy: that's your 💔 Janis: looking for broken 🦴s Janis: disappointing but not surprising Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll get on the roof Janis: bet we can Jimmy: let's go then Janis: now? Jimmy: you got owt else on? Janis: obviously not Jimmy: so come on Janis: be easiest to get up there from outside the music room Janis: do you know where that is? Jimmy: direct me Janis: [do that] Janis: wait for me if you get there first Janis: sir is insisting I can't go piss because someone else just did, as if our bladders are connected Jimmy: can't do that to lasses hasn't he heard Jimmy: tell him you're about to 💀💀💀 of toxic shock Janis: sadly raging at him over my blob gives off big angry lesbian vibes Janis: and I don't actually have a bloody tampon to throw at him Janis: I'll just leave in a sec but he's being a twat Jimmy: have to be the fake pregnancy fall back AGAIN Janis: one up Asia's news a bit Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: how long ago were the PE cupboard 💕? Janis: I haven't got a diary Jimmy: 😱😱 It weren't the best day of your life! 😱😱 Janis: best OF the day, how about that? Jimmy: bit rude of Asia to nick your phone Jimmy: I get that she don't want her big day ruined but Janis: 😏 Janis: like she's suddenly a top codebreaker Jimmy: #plottwist Janis: 🤓🤓💕 you 2 Jimmy: you 2 more like Jimmy: her being a dickhead means she likes you, DUH Jimmy: must be what the phone nicking were really about Janis: plottwist, they're all massive gays Jimmy: they're going on about sleepovers whenever I open the group chat Janis: you're that cliche? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: just saying it won't be a massive plot twist Janis: in your dreams, dickhead Jimmy: *nightmares Janis: 👻 do I hear someone protesting? Jimmy: Bill's lurking about loads when I get fuck all 😴 he knows I ain't pissing about wasting what dreams I do have Janis: Nice of him to entertain you Jimmy: you've seen my other offers Jimmy: didn't fancy none of them Janis: Fair Janis: he's got some witty bants at least Jimmy: he does alright Janis: better than the alternatives Janis: if I had a sleeping pill hookup, I'd take 'em myself Jimmy: you wanna watch out on that roof, mate, dunno how he'll feel about such a backhanded compliment Jimmy: steady on, bit rude to all the 🐑 hanging about for you to count, that Jimmy: how many #haters you want? Janis: you can pretend you pushed me if you're worried Jimmy: I 💭 that were the point of going up there Jimmy: no need to pretend owt Jimmy: we'll both be 💀💀💀 Janis: alright Janis: [show up] Jimmy: ['bit awkward if you've found a will to live' said like a saucy challenge] Janis: [just a look like does it look like I have? as much of a challenge as we try to find the way up onto the roof 'cos you know it's not that well hidden or secured] Jimmy: [a LOOK because always but we're also helping not just making intense eye contact forever lol] Janis: [remembering our sims school there was multiple levels so maybe you can get on the second story roof if not the third, anyway, letting you 'cos we can, even if you've got to do some lowkey parkour here, help each other and don't die] Jimmy: [it's a mood so we must, I hope your ribs are a bit more healed boy, don't do yourself further injury please] Janis: [rest when you're up there and we're just LOOKing at you like what now] Jimmy: [lighting up 🚬 for you both and doing heart shaped smoke rings because we're on a vday theme which you can totally show her how to do for some #content while you're up there] Janis: [can only imagine the funny face you're gonna have to pull to achieve that which thank god or it'd be too hot already] Jimmy: [all I can think about is when Liam and Edie were on the roof of that house they were staying in and he said he loved her so RIP me and them] Janis: [oh yes I remember that, soz we killed you guys] Jimmy: [anyway give her whatever doodle you've done today as well so she can have it in person cos I like to think you've not seen each other yet] Janis: [always love that, so much that we have to walk away and be peering over the edge dangerously just to diffuse that situation] Jimmy: [jimothy will probably pee over the edge just cos he can haha] Janis: [boy perks] Jimmy: [and they were talking about going for a piss and stuff like that always makes you want to] Janis: [you can't girl we're not falling off forreal, so hold it and contend with finding shit to throw onto the next roof down] Jimmy: [likewise join in with throwing stuff until there's nothing left and you can take your turn to LOOK at her like what now] Janis: [sharing that intense eye-contact for forever like] Jimmy: [we're not breaking it but we are pulling her closer to us] Janis: [writing 'morning' somewhere on his arm, whether we have to pull up his blazer or whatever to do that, we is] Jimmy: [writes 'good' on her in the same place because it is a good morning now we've seen the bae] Janis: [✔ like same] Jimmy: [teach her how to sign it because why not] Janis: ['we get it, you're good with your hands' 'cos mentioning being ambidexterous earlier and we KNOW so] Jimmy: [😏 and kiss her like excuse you I'm good at this too] Janis: [no room or energy to disagree here hen] Jimmy: [nobody's likely to appear and interrupt you up here lads so just enjoy that alone time] Janis: [we know we're gonna, even though it's January and this is scandalous because duh, how can we not] Jimmy: [you have done and will do way worse so] Janis: [should post those unfy smoking roof pics as we're getting down though so everyone knows you were up there but teachers can't actually prove that you were so] Jimmy: [if the teachers are checking your socials they'll get arrested hens] Janis: [easy mr lucas] Jimmy: [but yeah everyone will be well jel, blatantly gonna be a new thing for everyone to try and go to the roof now] Janis: [have fun getting caught losers lool] Jimmy: [not soz you'll never be JJ and living in a rom com] Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 😇🏹💕 Janis: You got the little nappy outfit ready to go, yeah? Jimmy: #kinkunlocked I get it Janis: 'course Janis: what girl wouldn't be 😍 Jimmy: 💀👑 probably prefers wearing them, THANK GOD she's not my target audience Janis: did she ever fake that she was 😍 over you? Jimmy: and have to put owt in the tip jar? Jimmy: SO funny, you Janis: cheek when she's allegedly the most minted Janis: making Asia make it rain 💦💸 Janis: mad she really don't fancy anyone who's not 50% of her though Jimmy: that'll be how she stays 💰💰💰 Janis: keep it in the family? Janis: 👍 Janis: bit extreme but Jimmy: if it were her only reason Jimmy: but she's OBVS 😍😍🤤 an' all Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: she in your lesson? Janis: Yeah Janis: and #2 Jimmy: What do you wanna do that'll do their heads in? Janis: 💡❓ Janis: all they keep talking about is Asia and her new boyfriend Janis: how do we pull focus from how un-goals that is when we're always 💯 Jimmy: could just break them up Janis: I'm not fucking a 13-year-old and I don't think it's a good look for you either Jimmy: never said we had to do owt with him but get in his head Jimmy: not like it'd be hard to convince the lad she's being a massive slag Janis: true, true Janis: she's only gone with him 'cos she knows he ain't gonna dump her because older girl clout Janis: and she wants the 🎁🎁 Janis: well rude Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: the school therapist'll be after him when Asia's done if Lucas ain't Janis: honestly Janis: only the right thing to do Jimmy: [edits some of the many Mia cheating pics they have to look like it could be Asia but in a pisstakey way because we're literally in class so we can't do it properly but like in a is this worth doing way] Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: that's nightmare fuel, for sure Janis: no wonder you ain't sleeping Jimmy: sleep paralysis demon, her Janis: terrifying, poor boy Janis: but she's got way too many pounds on 💀👑 for that to work Janis: 🤔 what if there was somewhere else he'd rather be Janis: no matter how 🔥 she reckons her 🍑 is Jimmy: not gonna get my sister with him now he's been anywhere near her Janis: Not exactly what I had in mind Janis: bit weird your head went there, tbh but still Janis: you wanna throw a party anyway, yeah Janis: why not do it then a fuck over any girl thinking she's getting a romantic date night? Jimmy: bit weird they're the same age @Asia with that one Jimmy: but DUH Janis: she's only 14, being fair Janis: sounding more and more like 💀👑 by the second Janis: obvs it goes against every dating rule she has so she's 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: feels dead wrong to split 'em up if that's what she wants Janis: at least it'd give them something else to chat about Janis: all this 💘 is making me sick already Jimmy: has to be a way to do that any road, it's fucking ages til we can have that party if we're doing it then Janis: yeah, I guess so Janis: well keep 💭 then Jimmy: I were 💭 what's another 🎁 that ain't another desk? Jimmy: any 🥇💡s? Janis: 'cos I just do this shit all the time Janis: I don't know Jimmy: Oi, don't be getting mardy with me, I only asked Janis: well don't bother asking questions I clearly don't have the answer to Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you already do all the drawings and far more shit than any lad they go out with Janis: like the whole point Janis: I don't know how we'd up that Jimmy: I said alright Janis: now who's being moody Jimmy: you Jimmy: that'll be why I'm leaving it out Janis: piss off then Jimmy: What's up with you? Janis: nothing, what's wrong with you? Jimmy: you're being a dickhead Janis: how am I? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: let's just drop it Janis: sure whatever lesson you're in is as equally thrilling as mine Jimmy: or just tell me what's wrong Jimmy: 'cause you were alright a bit ago Janis: I'm just Janis: it don't matter Janis: it's fine Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it can be Janis: 🤫 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: come on Janis: it's alright Janis: just everyone else getting on my nerves, as per Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what? Janis: be my mate Jimmy: I am Janis: sorry, alright Jimmy: what were it you said, it don't matter Janis: yeah but Janis: change the subject or something Jimmy: put me on the spot a bit there, dickhead Janis: 😏 Janis: but you're such a natural conversationalist Jimmy: it ain't my fault I can't stop thinking about you long enough to put a sentence together Janis: that's very smooth considering Janis: keep saying things like that, who wouldn't be jealous Jimmy: just how I feel, must not have as many dickheads in this lesson as you Jimmy: ☀ Janis: I'm not not thinking about you Janis: I just don't know what to do about that Janis: maybe less so Jimmy: What do you wanna do about it? Janis: how many lessons you reckon we can realistically walk out of? Jimmy: the rest of 'em Janis: Why are we even staying? Jimmy: we're not Janis: That is the best idea you've ever had Jimmy: I dunno, I reckoned the roof were a decent shout Jimmy: but I get it, soz it took me fucking ages Janis: You didn't get how I felt about the roof? Jimmy: 🤏 Jimmy: might've had some idea Janis: I can show you again but you know Janis: little rude Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Crap with words but there's loads else I can do Jimmy: I were gonna say I heard what I needed to up there but Jimmy: there's loads else I want to Janis: Don't be #overit yet Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: you just want me to 🗨 how not over it I am Janis: so? Jimmy: I already did do Janis: then I must've really meant it Jimmy: you've got nowt to worry about Janis: good Jimmy: Where we going? Janis: We can go to mine if you don't wanna go to yours Janis: or do you wanna go DO something Jimmy: be #goals whatever happens Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: I'm not thinking about #goals even though that's true Janis: I am thinking about how many times I could make you cum on that fucking bus ride Janis: come to mine, no one will be there, so there's loads of things we can do Jimmy: I just meant that bit don't matter but if I were thinking it did before I don't now Jimmy: and you've already sold me on the fucking bus ride so owt else is a bonus Janis: 😁 seems like a bit of a pisstake but Jimmy: it won't be Jimmy: except for the 👵🚍👀 Janis: They go to town at the crack of dawn Janis: shouldn't be loads Janis: but I can make you forget about that as well Jimmy: I don't care if there is loads Jimmy: I told you, I can't stop thinking about you Janis: It's distracting Janis: you are Janis: but fuck this place anyway Jimmy: *you are Janis: you started it Janis: and I'm not sorry Jimmy: I'm not sorry I started it Janis: Good Janis: it's Janis: working for me Jimmy: you'll forget about whatever's doing your head in in a bit Janis: already have Jimmy: come here then Janis: only if you ask again Jimmy: please Janis: 😍 Janis: okay Janis: [run babies run] Jimmy: [I know you only just went back from the hols but fuck school tbh] Janis: [we aren't that bothered ever but truly, you're both smart enough to pass just fine, we got life to be living and love to be falling into] Jimmy: [got a really long bus ride to be extra through soz not soz it's a whole vibe] Janis: [we're about it, and we can show you the actual decent stuff about the cali residence 'cos it's not the place we dislike it's the people rn soz guys] Jimmy: [we all know it's a cool af house even if there are a 10000000000000 cats] Janis: [lmao, at least they gonna be less fussy than Twix so you'll be alright lads] Jimmy: [have a lovely time but probably avoid your room gal since we're not drunk af like we were on christmas eve] Janis: [we know there's nothing there to show it's fine, y'all can chill wherever you want] Jimmy: [love it for you, honestly surprised you ever bother going to school rn tbh] Janis: [only 'cos we clearly can't hang around mcvickers 'cos they're both old enough to be retired even if they're only semi-retired, and you have to take Bobby to school so like, may as well not like you can get extra shifts when they know you're 15 and not out of school] Jimmy: [and it's an easy way to be #goals as they've already proved with the desk escapades] Janis: [mhmm, and an excuse to see each other you so don't need now but you know] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [do we wanna do anything when they are at the gaff etc?} Jimmy: [probably nothing too heavy but if you've got anything you want to happen we can] Janis: [lbr, we know we're being cute af and saucy] Jimmy: [I'm devastated that you can't stay forever as will you be, but at least you'll have a fair while even with the long af bus which is only gonna be fun on the way there unless you're leaving together too] Janis: [you should probably stay gal as the school will call to say you went missing and you'd be better to deal with that rather than have her think you've run away again lol] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: [Gonna be fun going home to Ian, I hope for your sake boy you've got work for a bit first for that reprieve even though it'll probably make him angrier cos you're gone longer] Jimmy: 🥺👋 Janis: [mhmm, like get over it Ian it's one day but ANYWAY] Janis: I wish I could've come Jimmy: and I wish I could've hung about a bit longer Janis: fucking real life, eh Jimmy: nowt'll be more 💔 than if the ☕ start cracking on making themselves and I have to look out for a new way to earn 💰 Jimmy: but I get that you wanna be my fantasy, girl so I won't call it a bit rude that you're 🗨 all that just then were fake Janis: Never happen Janis: they like the fake smile on your face when you give it 'em Janis: not fake Janis: just not 💩 like the rest Jimmy: I'll take all them assurances, tah for not getting too near a compliment Jimmy: thought it were gonna be a bit touch and go at the end there Janis: not to mention the carnage if it was self-service Janis: only afford the steam burns if they're paying you minimum wage Janis: 😘 Janis: shut up Jimmy: not just any dickhead can pull off that many scars Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: 😏 Janis: I get it, you want MORE compliments Janis: not like I just spent all day showing you how hot I think you are Jimmy: or more worthwhile wounds Jimmy: unless you're gonna kick off about there being no more time or space for them an' all Janis: Oi Janis: don't make me sound like that bitch Janis: cheek Janis: 🔪 you any time you like, you know that Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: can never have it in writing too many times Janis: you trying to get me done for not keeping my word? Jimmy: 👮🚔 Jimmy: don't bother going back on it and you'll be alright Janis: should've known Janis: you're all the same Jimmy: can't 🗨 you didn't know what you were getting into, Jennifer Jimmy: 🐷💕 Janis: my dads rolling in his grave Jimmy: still 🤞 you and your fake tan'll put mine in his Janis: I'll put on my nan's accent Janis: turn it up a notch Jimmy: 😂 Janis: or just intro them Janis: he'd feel so #attacked Jimmy: only if you can promise me she'll chuck a bible at him Janis: 🤞 Janis: can't promise much about her but it's 99% Jimmy: it's a date then 🍷🍞 Janis: 😂 Janis: enjoy Jimmy: be PROPER awks if we've misread this and she ends up my new mum Janis: She's still got delusions about being the pastor's wife Janis: she's too nosy to settle down and have her own life anyway, you're fine Jimmy: poor bloke Janis: your dad or father daddy? Jimmy: not chucking any sympathy Ian's way Jimmy: he's always got the full orchestra playing for himself, there's no need Janis: got ya Janis: I'll make it up to him whenever I get 'round the repenting Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: bit of time with me on my knees'll sort him right out Janis: fuck off Janis: we're not sharing Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos I want him Janis: get your own boyfriend, bitch Jimmy: thank GOD Pete'll be in Janis: 😒 Janis: shot myself in the foot there Jimmy: made your 🛏 have to lie in it with the hot priest, you Janis: 😣 😖 😫 Janis: don't be mean Janis: it was an involuntary reaction Janis: being a twin means you don't want to share anything Jimmy: you're alright, I'm more forgiving than him and his mate in the ☁s Jimmy: might let you be my mate again eventually Janis: aaaaand share your boyfriend, yeah? Janis: thanks 💖 Jimmy: be up to him, that Jimmy: but agreeing to having a go at being his lead 🎤's bound to make up his mind Jimmy: the lad he got last time you said no is shite Janis: Oh God Janis: do they play the CG? Janis: 😬 Jimmy: that gonna make you rush in or steer clear? Janis: I'm not sure I can fake the enthusiasm Janis: and yes, that IS saying something, thank you Janis: tell him to 📞 me if they ever start getting paid Jimmy: @ him yourself Jimmy: loads of jobs but none of 'em are as your messenger boy Jimmy: ain't chucked 🗞️🗞️🗞️ about for ages Janis: you're such a slag Janis: called playing it cool Janis: look it up 🤓 Jimmy: look up frigid Jimmy: 🥶🥶🧊 Janis: piss off Jimmy: didn't reckon on that rumour being the one that were true but here we are Janis: don't be a twat Janis: you literally know it isn't Jimmy: still feel free to remind me whenever you like Janis: yeah, really convincing that Jimmy: What, you need MORE convincing than earlier on? Janis: oh, now you're calling me a slag Janis: make up your mind and shut up, yeah? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you planning to leave me with my 💭 this whole 🚍 ride? Janis: I should Janis: but it is longer than the journey to hell so Jimmy: you have left me loads to think about, give you that Jimmy: 🏆🥇 Janis: it's mutual Janis: is an understatement Jimmy: yeah, I felt that Janis: bit rude Janis: every time I think seeing you is gonna get you out of my head Janis: never does though Jimmy: bit rude that you want me out when you've said you've not got owt else on Janis: yeah but I can't be around you all the time so it's just inconvenient Jimmy: I'm not stopping you and my 👻 manager'd have a job to Jimmy: and we've already proved school can't Janis: If you're still there when I've dealt with my ma Janis: could Jimmy: if not you know where else I'll be Janis: yeah Janis: I do have work to do and all though Jimmy: OBVS Jimmy: 🐕's can't 🏃 themselves without the owners getting right mardy Janis: Thank God Janis: can't be arsed to sing for my supper yet Jimmy: after though Jimmy: you can do us a lullaby Janis: you just want me to sleep over Jimmy: Oi, don't make me sound like them huns Janis: 💅💄🍿☕️🧸💖 Janis: you Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: will you hang about if I let you chuck 🧸s about and smack me with a pillow or what? Janis: your nightmare not mine Janis: but as you asked nicely Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What song do you want? Janis: 🎶😴 Jimmy: what song do you wanna do? Janis: [list off some hilariously inappropriate lullabies] Jimmy: number 6 Janis: 😏 Janis: thank god the little ones deaf Janis: hate to be a bad influence Jimmy: 🖍👂 were bad enough Janis: mini 💘story is worse Jimmy: but that's nowt to do with us Janis: 'course not Janis: so pure and real Jimmy: be worse if they hated each other like him and Amsterdam, never be able to chuck him anywhere Janis: yeah Janis: and she's annoying whatever she's 🗨 about so makes no odds to me Jimmy: we better start being the NICEST ever to your nan so he can sleep there and not piss on our party plans Janis: that'll involve you not being as nice as you wanna, perv Janis: tone it down Jimmy: tone down your jealousy, Jules, I'll come to your window an' all Janis: She don't fancy you, sorry to break it to you Jimmy: she's not gonna admit it to you, dickhead Janis: She's not gonna be able to fake that with a remotely straight face, more like Jimmy: must be where you get it from Janis: better than you Jimmy: bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: no Jimmy: based on what? Janis: erm, all my performances vs yours, OBVS Jimmy: mine's been as good as yours Janis: hmm Janis: 😂 Jimmy: you're just being a twat 'cause your fit nan 💕s me Janis: and you're just mad 'cos Will wouldn't even cast you as a background character Jimmy: he has done so that's even more bollocks you're chatting now Jimmy: should be chuffed she's not going blind, babe Janis: bit awkward to boot you now Janis: massive head, takes a lot to shift Jimmy: far as excuses go, a TOP athlete like you should have better Jimmy: 🥉 if that Janis: let me start auditions first, arsehole Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: stop it Janis: you're the one being a twat, twat Jimmy: how am I? Janis: Where do I start? Janis: I'd rather just not, as I just said Jimmy: at buying some time before you have a proper go 'cause you know I've done nowt wrong, by the sounds of it Jimmy: but alright Janis: I didn't say you'd done anything wrong Janis: just that you were being annoying on purpose Jimmy: Why would I bother with that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: the answer is I obvs wouldn't Janis: OBVS Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you stop it Janis: I'm not doing anything Janis: so yeah, alright Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: I'd be in the group chat if I were trying to 🗨 in 👍👌🙄 Janis: not my job to entertain you is it Jimmy: I never said it were Jimmy: if you were on the clock it wouldn't be like pulling 🦷🦷 trying to have a word Janis: oh, whatever Janis: I don't like talking, that's not news and it's none of your business Jimmy: and you've heard I like talking to you when you're not being a MASSIVE dickhead Jimmy: give me a clue when that'll be Janis: I've got other shit on Jimmy: and I've not? Janis: I never said you didn't Janis: that was you Jimmy: I'm just not using it as a bollocks excuse to be a twat Janis: I'm not excusing anything, I'm saying you don't know what I do or don't have on, at any point Jimmy: 'cause it's none of my business, you just said Janis: basically, yeah Jimmy: whatever, as you said an' all Jimmy: in a bit Janis: later then Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you're gonna have to leave this some time and I'm gonna have to fix it, well done gal, not leaving it too long though 'cos not that deep so just deal with it, you could still be on the bus tbh lmao] Jimmy: [seeds are being sown and honestly yeah it is a really long bus ride I hope you left yourself enough time boy or you'll be late for work] Janis: sorry, okay Janis: just ignore me, I'm just stressed Janis: you've not done anything Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: how stressed you are Janis: yeah, I know Janis: you don't need that ever Janis: let alone before work Jimmy: @iantaylor8 before I get back, might stop him getting a mard on an' all Janis: He's gonna be raging? Jimmy: when's he not? Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to bits I gave him something to have a go about Jimmy: you talk to your mum yet? Janis: Any excuse Janis: not like we had anything important on today Janis: or ever, really but you know Janis: she won't be back for a bit Janis: just avoiding my sisters in the meantime Jimmy: how many 🐕s you done? Janis: got six here that all walk together alright, get that in before she's back Jimmy: 💰 on my sister not having done ours, you can use that as a reason to piss off when you need Janis: If she ain't seething, might drop me off Janis: save the dog's bladder bursting whilst the bus goes round every fucking street on the way Jimmy: didn't go back at lunch, might already be 💀💀💀 Janis: shit Janis: what time is your dad back? Jimmy: probably will be, have to check the 👞👟🥾 Jimmy: house'll be trashed if nowt else Jimmy: meant to be 🕠 but it never is Janis: I can leave a note at mine Janis: be there well before he is Janis: only took a day off, say I got that period or whatever Jimmy: not your problem, no need to cause any with your mum for the 🐕's sake Janis: it's not a problem Janis: just replying that I hadn't run away earlier when the school messaged her was more than enough Jimmy: alright Janis: won't charge extra for mopping up piss Janis: didn't think, when I said we should go to mine Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: mop up piss or 💭🐕💔 Janis: you can't, you're already doing a job so Jimmy: he can get the mop out, it were his 🥇💡 to get a dog Janis: may as well though Jimmy: IOU then Janis: nah Janis: 'cos IOU Jimmy: Oi, don't be turning me down Jimmy: any time you fancy having a piss on my floor, I'll sort it Janis: 😂 Janis: thanks Janis: big #kinkunlocked obviously Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I'm allowing it Janis: Well considerate of you Jimmy: sound more shocked, Joanne Janis: I ain't Jimmy: good Janis: you know I didn't mean it Jimmy: What bit? Janis: not wanting to talk to you Jimmy: I got that when you started talking to me again Janis: yeah, alright Janis: just saying Jimmy: what's gonna make you 😁? Janis: Is that what you want? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Jimmy: not like I've spent ages today trying to do it or owt Janis: I can not be a moody bitch without being 😁 though, honest Jimmy: and I can make you 😁 Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you have Janis: loads Jimmy: it don't matter if your face ain't stuck like it Jimmy: I'll have another go Janis: what about you? Jimmy: What about me? Janis: What emoji do you want me to make you? Jimmy: your fav obvs Jimmy: 🤗 Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll do my best Jimmy: I get it, you know Jimmy: what you said before about the rest being 💩 Janis: it just really shows how shit everything else and everyone is Janis: how boring and just Janis: bit of a headfuck Jimmy: yeah and I get it an' all that you have shit you have to do but Jimmy: I meant what I said about you not having to go nowhere Jimmy: my 🏠'll be trashed and the 🐕's a dickhead but you can still hang around whenever you want Janis: I don't though Janis: not in comparison to you, that's just the truth Janis: it just makes me sound pathetic when you put it like that Janis: but thanks Jimmy: shut up, you've got a job same as me Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: I know I ain't gonna hold it over your head that your mum ain't chucking 👶s at you to look after or being a massive bellend all the time Jimmy: what kind of weird 🎻💔😭 bollocks 🏆s is that? Janis: well I knew you'd hate it that's why I didn't say it earlier Janis: I'm just not trying to take the piss with stupid non-problems Jimmy: everyone's got shit, not just me Janis: yeah Janis: and I've got plenty Janis: being stressed about skiving school ain't one of 'em though, it weren't that Jimmy: I never thought it were Janis: I've got a handle on it now though Jimmy: alright Jimmy: made that 😁 challenge even more piss easy for me then Janis: You mad about that or Janis: I can make it harder again easy Jimmy: go on, I ain't 🙀🙀 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 me Janis: 😶 there you go Janis: complete blank slate Jimmy: Tah Janis: Yeah well, all the pressure Jimmy: that meant to be a ✔ or ❌? Janis: it means I'm doing what you asked and giving you an actual challenge Jimmy: that consideration's catching Janis: great Janis: need a cream for that, do I Jimmy: might do if it starts irritating you, like Jimmy: 🤞 it don't react with your fake tan Janis: is red more or less offensive than beige? 🤔 Jimmy: less Jimmy: colour of 🩸🌹💘 Bill's fav, that Janis: we already know he 💘s me Janis: about making your dad 😡🤬 not me Jimmy: already did do Jimmy: nowt challenging about making Ian fuming Janis: yeah but that's what you want me to do and keep doing Jimmy: it's not why I want you to stay Janis: it'd be a bit rude if that was all you wanted me for Jimmy: I just mean he's not the reason I do owt Jimmy: doing his head in gives my sister something to do with her 😡🤬 but he don't matter to me Janis: yeah, it isn't about him Janis: but getting him fuming enough you can all go home is, I mean Jimmy: which ain't even been working Jimmy: as plans go it were never 🥇 Janis: what letter plan was it? Jimmy: you know I can't count, mate Jimmy: dunno my letters either Janis: we don't have to talk about it though Janis: not right now Jimmy: We're here so whatever goes I had at getting him to not take the job or owt I did to try and stop us from leaving didn't work Jimmy: what's to talk about? Janis: you're giving up? Jimmy: never said that Janis: alright Janis: I get it Jimmy: do you? Janis: you either haven't thought out your next step, or I can't help you with it and it isn't my business Janis: either way, don't wanna or have to talk about it now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: not a total idiot, cheers Jimmy: never said that either Jimmy: feeling like one 'cause you had a massive strop is nowt to do with me Janis: fuck off Janis: 1. I didn't 2. Weren't talking about that no more Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you rolling your eyes at me for Jimmy: what you mean you don't get that? Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: wow Janis: nice Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm not staying, pay me whatever you would your sister for the dog Jimmy: I don't pay her Jimmy: @ my dad for his rates Janis: obviously not Jimmy: don't come then, even easier, that Janis: It's nothing to do with you Janis: the dog needs walking Jimmy: not by you Janis: why not Jimmy: why are you SO bothered? Janis: because it's needless and cruel Janis: it isn't hard Janis: and it's literally what I do so just shut up Jimmy: it ain't hard for my sister to do it Janis: is she going to or are you fobbing me off Jimmy: not a 🧠📖 Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I don't need your permission, I'm going round anyway Jimmy: you don't get nowt so don't act like you do Janis: fine, take your 🎻💔😭🏆 and shove it Jimmy: ✔ Janis: so glad you're happy Jimmy: so glad you ain't lost your sense of humour Janis: the gags that I never had one, so where's yours Jimmy: Dunno, maybe you'll find it when you're pissing about at mine Jimmy: places the spare 🔑 has to get left are getting weirder and weirder Janis: I'm just knocking Janis: you might be arsed but doubt your sisters stopping me doing a job for her Jimmy: be about right Janis: be weird id she cared Janis: if* Jimmy: no weirder than you reckoning she'll bother to answer the door Janis: You're being ridiculous Jimmy: that's you Janis: no, it ain't Jimmy: yeah it is, this 🐕💔 being the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: I told you why Janis: not rocket science Jimmy: and I told you why not to, neither's that Janis: I didn't say it was your fault but it's not fair on the dog and you know that Janis: I'm not gonna pretend I don't 'cos you're pissed off with me Jimmy: 📞 the rspca then, be doing me a bigger favour than this bollocks is Janis: if you wanted to, you would've done it yourself Janis: the kid 💕 it and that's why Jimmy: funny way of showing it she's got Jimmy: can't even do something she gets 💰 chucked at her for Janis: yeah and that hardly takes a genius to work out either Jimmy: no need for you to get your head round what's up with her an' all Janis: stop acting like I'm fucking therapizing you Jimmy: stop doing it Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you better walk away gal but we're clearly going to attempt to walk Twix still] Jimmy: [at least he's not there so you won't brawl] Janis: [oh the drama mick] Jimmy: [oh boy, it's not her fault you don't wanna leave dublin anymore, well it is but don't be rude] Janis: [quite literally your fault but that's a convo we're not ready to have yet clearly lol] Jimmy: [a convo we've literally had twice drunk lol lol] Janis: [oh lads, we're literally in such a tiz, thank god you didn't stay home tbh] Jimmy: [don't need to have a blazing row with your poor mother] Janis: [make this Thing an actual Thing™ though that is lowkey the deal in the fam being suspish of you boy but still] Jimmy: [literally don't know how I'm gonna fix this because he thinks he's in the right here, sir your pants] Janis: [like he's not not but we didn't really get what he was saying 'cos neither of you was saying enough/the right things lol] Jimmy: [she's not a mind reader either jimothy] Janis: [fair, we're probably going to go out and get drunk somewhere so I could always come @ you] Jimmy: [good idea because that's not a luxury he has until work is over at least and even then not really because Ian will be throwing his toys out of the pram] Janis: [yeah, like he's really not gonna be in the mood is he but we'll do it anyway, good luck lmao] Jimmy: [how much later are we saying it is like is he at work or has it been ages?] Janis: [well it's fully a monday so like what kind of party would be happening, so it's probably on the earlier side like we're just 'hanging' somewhere and drinking, but by the time we come for you you can probably be leaving work/home like] Jimmy: [makes sense] Janis: are you okay? Janis: what did he do? Janis: can't stop thinking about it Jimmy: I'm not back yet, nowt to worry about Janis: oh Janis: it's not that late Janis: still so dark 🌨⛄ Jimmy: you alright? Janis: yeah Janis: but no too Jimmy: ? Janis: I don't like it when we don't talk Janis: but I'm not dying in a ditch, that's what I mean Jimmy: but where are you? Janis: at the park with some people Janis: not the park, a park though Jimmy: what park? Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I don't know, the one on [some estate he's not going to know gal but anyway, a let's get drunk in parks energy] Janis: it's not that cold, had my coat on anyway Jimmy: SO helpful, you Jimmy: it's not that cold now you're pissed, my dear Janis: That is half the point Janis: idk what you expect me to tell you, it's not like the park has a name, just a bit of grass and some swings Jimmy: I've got a map up 🤞 I get there before you 🥶🥶🥶 Janis: you're coming to see me? Janis: but you're angry at me Jimmy: I'm bringing you ☕ to warm and sober you up a bit, then I'm taking you to your nans Janis: I don't want to Jimmy: you wanna go home? Janis: god no Jimmy: you can't stay there Janis: not all night Janis: but it isn't even late Jimmy: not the point, dickhead Jimmy: I've got enough to worry about without adding you to the list Janis: don't worry about me Janis: I'm just trying to have fun Janis: I'm worried about you Jimmy: bit late for that Janis: 😠 Jimmy: don't you start, girl, I've hung up my apron now Jimmy: already on my way Janis: you can't try to seduce me to change the subject Janis: not that drunk Jimmy: weren't the plan Janis: why you talking like that then Jimmy: what? Janis: like Mias there and you want her to fancy you too Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: daddy 👏 energy 👏 Janis: anyway, literally said you wouldn't distract from the point so sh Jimmy: you Janis: but Jimmy: 🤫 Janis: sorry for caring Jimmy: it weren't what you signed up for Janis: not what you signed me up for, you mean Jimmy: go on, make it sound more like I forced you into something Janis: that's like Janis: the opposite of what I'm saying Jimmy: alright Janis: you keep turning things 'round and it's not what I mean Jimmy: just say what you mean Janis: I am Janis: I'm trying Janis: I just don't want you to get really hurt again but I can't do anything about it Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about it either Jimmy: how do you think I feel? Janis: I can't imagine Jimmy: don't Jimmy: 💭❌ Janis: I were never saying I knew what that was like Janis: I wouldn't Jimmy: not something I want us to have in common Janis: 'course not Jimmy: there you go then, can't have a go at you for not having a clue Janis: you can Janis: or you could just tell me what you do want me to do Janis: or say Janis: or not say or do Jimmy: that'd be taking the daddy energy a bit far, babe Janis: alright, not any other time, tah Janis: just let me fix this Janis: and not fuck it up again Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: there's nowt either of us can do Janis: okay Janis: I know that Janis: but how do I not annoy you about it Janis: because I don't think I can just fake that I don't know Jimmy: I don't have an answer I can just chuck at you Janis: okay then Jimmy: if I did I'd have loads of mates and a real girlfriend, duh Jimmy: that charming and social, me Janis: I'm glad you don't have a girlfriend though Jimmy: me and Bill's 👻 an' all Janis: I've got no friends either Jimmy: Oi, what am I? Janis: I don't know Janis: what are you Jimmy: 💔 RUDE Jimmy: I'm your best mate Janis: my best mate Janis: who I think about every time I cum, alright Jimmy: why isn't it? Janis: just confusing Janis: it can be both Janis: probably Jimmy: don't have to be if we just 🗨 Jimmy: it's been alright up til now Janis: very rude if that's your review Jimmy: shut up, you know what I mean Janis: do you want me to 🗨 or 🤫 Janis: just confused now 😏 Jimmy: I've missed you but if you wanna change my mind about it Janis: no, no Janis: I can behave Jimmy: making promises you can't keep Janis: cheek Jimmy: we'll see when I get there Janis: I missed you too Janis: I don't know what's wrong with me Jimmy: other than being a massive pisshead, you mean Janis: psh Janis: what else am I meant to do Jimmy: you want a list or what? Janis: yes, go on Jimmy: 1. 🗨 to me 2. come 👋 to me and my 👻 manager 3. workshop a 💀💀💀 scene with Bill 4. 🐕🏃 5. @ Lucas or 💀👑's dad for a lift Jimmy: just off the top of my head Janis: 1. we weren't 🗨 2. so I couldn't 👋 even if your manager actually existed 3. he's your mate 4. you definitely didn't want me to do that earlier either 5. just admit you want me 💀💀💀 now like Jimmy: 1. gotta start somewhere, Jessica 2. he were actually about, believe it or not! 3. he is with THAT attitude 4. I definitely don't want you spending all my 💰 either 5. I ALWAYS want to 💀💀💀 you, I've admitted that before Janis: 1. what's this? 2. so sad I missed him/my chance to seduce him for a job then 3. #ladsladslads with him forever 4. only said that 'cos you made me mad and I said for like a five not ALL your 💰 not that stereotype 5. then why are you letting either of them do it instead? Jimmy: 1. but before or instead of getting off your head were the point 2. 💔 for you and him both 3. speaking of, how many lads off that estate am I gonna have to smack before we can leave? 4. you still fuming at me or what? 5. never said I'd let it happen, just that it could do Janis: I'm not still mad at you Janis: it was a solid 60% my fault anyway Janis: I don't even know what we were talking about or then why we weren't, really Jimmy: then how do you know owt were your fault? Janis: 'cos you've explained since Jimmy: I were being a dickhead, it's not you Janis: no, it's alright Janis: you weren't Jimmy: I were and it's not alright Jimmy: you're the only bit that's not shit and taking the rest out on you ain't gonna change them, it'll only fuck this up an' all Janis: I'm not looking to make any of it harder Janis: that's not what a mate should do Jimmy: and I made it loads easier for you a bit ago when I already knew you weren't 😁 Janis: that's really nothing though Janis: stupid high school level shit Jimmy: meant to be cheering you up, that's what I said I'd do Jimmy: not nowt that I did the opposite Janis: okay, but I wasn't helping you none neither Janis: so we can be even Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: am I going to need to come find you? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: um, a really valid one from experience Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I'm not the one who's pissed, tah very much Janis: you exaggerate Jimmy: you take the piss Jimmy: I'm not lost Janis: okay, okay Janis: it'd be rude not to check Janis: you could die Janis: or 🥶🥶🥶 Jimmy: too northern for that bollocks Jimmy: what kind of truce is this? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: have a swing, I'll be there in a bit Janis: someone's hoyed 'em over Janis: so rude Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: never did answer me on how many lads I'd have to 🥊 Janis: Not sure if it was one of them Janis: I'll ask for you Jimmy: 💰 on it being you when you were FUMING Jimmy: trying to blame these poor lads now Janis: 😱 Janis: I WOULD NEVER Janis: pain to get back down, even if your da is like, freakishly tall or something Jimmy: never admit it now I've caught you out, more like Jimmy: know what you're like Jimmy: trying to show off and make the most of your 🦒 perks Janis: yeah, all these lads are SO cool Jimmy: never said it were for them Jimmy: might've been waiting to impress me Janis: well are you impressed? Jimmy: haven't seen the state of nowt yet Janis: you're an idiot Jimmy: yeah 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: then I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ? Janis: Would it make it better or worse if I come back to yours Jimmy: better this time, worse the next Janis: What would you rather I do? Jimmy: you know the answer to that Janis: but are you sure Jimmy: are you? Janis: I'll be fine going to my nans, for me Janis: I don't know what's better for you Janis: yeah, I can delay it now, or let it be less tonight than it COULD be Janis: but neither of those feels good Janis: so I just wanna do what you want Jimmy: so stay Janis: okay Jimmy: okay Janis: we could get rid of him the old-fashioned way Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I'll get lost Janis: seriously Janis: how hard can it be Jimmy: piss easy if you don't care about the bit where you get caught Jimmy: how you gonna walk my 🐕 from prison? Janis: well that's why we do it properly Janis: just need to do the groundwork Janis: keep slyly telling any nosy neighbours you're moving back soon because he's lost his job, so they don't @ him Janis: then backdate a resignation letter to send to his work Jimmy: then what? Jimmy: can't actually piss off back up north without the dickhead Janis: well, you could, ferry is well cheap Janis: what you'd do when you get there is another issue Jimmy: keep dreaming, baby Jimmy: it's never gonna happen Jimmy: you're stuck with me for a bit Janis: I don't want you to leave anyway Janis: not my dream Jimmy: what'd you bring it up for then? Janis: you could stay and we could kill him Jimmy: we'd be prime suspects Jimmy: and they'd take the 👶👶🐕 off me Janis: nah, 'cos if we sort work and your neighbours and move you in with me who's looking Janis: 💡 Janis: see Jimmy: your whole family'd be 👀🍿 Jimmy: and your 🐕 best mate'd be eaten by 🐈🐈🐈 Janis: hardly Janis: 2 of my sisters got married before they were 20 and one of 'em is dead Janis: can't say nothing Janis: don't fight how much sense it makes tah Jimmy: you're so Janis: fucked up? Jimmy: not what I were gonna say Janis: they are Janis: try and distance myself from it but Jimmy: if we were judging each other by our family I'd come off loads worse Jimmy: no tah Janis: no need to have the competition Jimmy: 'cause you're losing Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 🏆 goes to me Janis: nope no no no nah Janis: you have no idea and you don't need it Jimmy: alright, stop going on about it and 🗨 something you want me to know Janis: 😳 Jimmy: go on Janis: bit on the spot, like you say Jimmy: but you're 💭 about something or you wouldn't be 😳 Janis: too bad you're not a 🧠📖 Jimmy: just have to read your body language instead Jimmy: [show up sir] Janis: ['scuse us random park people, biggest run and hug ever] Jimmy: [holding onto her for the longest time and we're not sorry] Janis: [lowkey like don't cry gal, so overwhelmed and drunk dangerous combo here] Jimmy: [gal we know all about trying not to cry Imma get you out of here asap] Janis: [not letting you say anything intelligible yet] Jimmy: [it's fine we're totally picking her up so we can leave] Janis: [soz not soz to the lads who clearly thought you were about to get off with them or something] Jimmy: [bye bye boys have fun] Janis: [hope you're near enough to his lads 'I'm really sorry'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' cos it is and snuggling her as we carry her like] Janis: [sighs 'it's not' but we mean everything else so we're snuggling him back even harder Jimmy: [kissing the top of her head like yeah it is] Janis: ['you're the loveliest, that's what I want you to know'] Jimmy: [clearly 😳 about this because not what we expected her to say but we're also doing a little genuine smile so] Janis: [just softly stroking his cheeks though you probably can't even see in this light/state we just know, about to blurt something about but just about catching ourselves 'tell me something then'] Jimmy: ['are you gonna remember it?' cos we gonna catch ourselves too before being too extra] Janis: ['yes!' indignantly like how dare you, nudging him like go on 'I'll tell you another if you do'] Jimmy: ['alright, one thing I want you to know is how much this means' keeping it deliberately vague as if we're just talking about the Ian situation because we clearly aren't lol 'to me that you-that you're-' still not finishing our sentences though soz about it] Janis: [squeezing him wherever you're holding onto him, but gently please let's not fall and die here although 'I love you' not leaving like a sec here 'like I care about you, you know' and how rushed that last bit is like and I oop] Jimmy: [we've straight up died so whatever we say back is too muffled to understand because we're hardcore hiding in the bae and also using our softest voice ever] Janis: [casual panic happening in silence here but we move, meant it and can't take it back so at least you're drunk enough that you can't really try to run away rn] Jimmy: [lifting our head when she moves because we think she's gonna try and run away and that's a hard no from us 'always gotta one up me, you' but we're still using our soft voice so you know it's not a pisstake 'not gonna win the awards against you but I care about you an' all'] Janis: [shrugs like yes, that's what it was, of course 'just that good'] Jimmy: ['I know' giving her 😍 as we say it because we mean it] Janis: [going in for a makeout moment] Jimmy: [allowing it because he also meant it when he said he missed her and the feels are too high not to even though she's drunk and he's obvs not] Janis: [it's fine, we know we're being extra with it because we are drunk so it's not like you've got it wrong boy] Jimmy: [we're being extra too cos we're in our emotions and I don't trust you to speak rn sir, always makes me laugh like how far have we even gotten away from this park] Janis: [seriously, like you already said it girl you better stop lmao, I hope far enough that we're not giving a free show, also you're nearly at his but probably not knowing y'all] Jimmy: [hope you're at least off this estate so we're not getting whistled and shouted at by chavs cos that'll really ruin the moment] Janis: [like get that you're both in this moment but there's only so much you can ignore really] Jimmy: [I'll make it rain or snow if I have to lads so that'll move along, don't test me] Janis: [least you're gonna have some urgency by how hard we're going rn 'cos no shame] Jimmy: [an incentive to get home is very much needed cos Ian will be a delight] Janis: [I'm like gal do not speak that could be disastrous] Jimmy: [going upstairs immediately for all the reasons] Janis: [can't come for Ian and his life, it'd be amusing but make everything worse so not rn, in that bed tah] Jimmy: [we'll give you other opportunities gal but this is not the one] Janis: [not when you're drunk, not gonna be witty, just like fuck you bitch] Jimmy: [it's gonna be ages before you get back anyway cos we know y'all will keep stopping, never any chill] Janis: [we all know it, there is no chill now or ever] Jimmy: [hence I am making you walk, not letting you anywhere near a bus or anything rn] Janis: [do we wanna skip to being at his or to the AM or quoiiiii] Jimmy: [good question, we can probably skip to later at his because you can't avoid Ian forever, even if we're kind and say he's not around when they first get there] Janis: [what's your vibe like is he gonna come in and make Jimmy come out to talk or ambush him like what's the tea sis] Jimmy: [I feel like Jimothy's gonna have to go make tea at some point because it's his love language so he'll probably get ambushed in the kitchen then] Janis: [ugh SIR] Jimmy: [is nothing sacred you bitch, but at least she'll be upstairs so she can't brawl him and Twix will run up cos she will be scared so that'll distract you gal] Janis: [like if we heard brawling ourselves we would come down but I'd like to hope you're keeping it to shouting rn, have some shame dickhead, just look after this baby dog] Jimmy: [I would hope he is just shouting because he's that dickhead that wants to appear like he's not one and like what's to stop Janis telling literally everyone including her social worker nan so] Janis: [right, even if you think she's trash, I don't think you're being that dumb with it ever] Jimmy: [shamelessly just gonna bring the bae tea and biscuits as if that didn't happen] Janis: [trying not to be like !!! but we're also not gonna pretend as hard, patting the bed like come here] Jimmy: [obvs we do and do a feelsy lean when we're there cos we both need it] Janis: ['really wants Lucas to like him' because we know there's fuck all we can actually say to be of use, but we're tucking him back in and cuddling him] Jimmy: [a little lol because 1. funny 2. not what we expected her to say 3. relief that she hasn't said something that'll make it awks and that Ian didn't kick off any harder/try and kick her out] Janis: [equally small smile 'cos we love to see it but we do not love the rest of this situation so we're not buzzing obviously] Jimmy: [draw it bigger with our fingertip because we've remembered our 😁 challenge] Janis: [write LOL on him like okay, whilst we're here let's sort that out] Jimmy: [do some !! on her like epic lols please] Janis: [go to tickle him like it can be arranged] Jimmy: [obvs tickling her back like excuse you it's meant to be you doing it] Janis: [we are loling but still trying to tickle him and get him too] Jimmy: [never far from a playfight which I love for you and also I imagine that Twix is probably still around so joining in] Janis: [don't bark gal or do because we don't care about you Ian but bit rude to Cass, just pinning him and being like 'my offer still stands' which like, explain yourself but we're not lol] Jimmy: [also don't spill that tea or crush those biscuits/ let Twix get either of them while you're living your best life, obvs giving her a look like ?] Janis: [my boo always so concerned about the tea situation, runs a finger along his throat and looks meaningfully at the door like you know who] Jimmy: [I am and I'm not soz boo, but jimothy meanwhile is gonna just give you a lovebite/go over an existing one on your throat gal like I'd rather just kill you thank you] Janis: [doing the opposite of complaining about it] Jimmy: [taking the encouragement and going harder as a result of it duh] Janis: [when you can't breathe casually, pulling him closer into us 'please'] Jimmy: [kick that dog out so she doesn't cockblock you soz Twix, casually looks like you're like nope and leaving] Janis: [Twix is probably 🥺 but we definitely are x2 🥺🥺] Jimmy: [don't worry we're running back immediately to kiss you INTENSELY] Janis: [getting in his lap, duh, and looking at him for ages 'lovely' like yes, I was correct] Jimmy: [putting his finger on her nose like he's pointing at her cos no you] Janis: [grabbing the finger and then we're holding both his hands 'how am I going to make you happy?'] Jimmy: ['you already have done' because true that we've already forgotten about Ian's bullshit lbr cos we're in love] Janis: ['I could do better' 'you deserve better'] Jimmy: ['you just wanna take the challenge off me' because we can't even deal with our emotions over her saying that] Janis: ['I just wanna-' and kissing him again like let me show you] Jimmy: [a very enthusiastic response in all the ways possible because same] Janis: [have your moment kiddos, cannot express how much she's calling him baby] Jimmy: [cannot overstate how into that he is and will forever be] Janis: [being a perfect combo of intense but soft rn] Jimmy: [Cass gonna wish she was deaf too, first Ian shouting and now this lol] Janis: [thank god for headphones gal soz still not gonna be our fan for a while lol] Jimmy: [she's really not cos already had to dump Bobby on her when we had work then had to find Janis and now all this is shamelessly going on, soz gal] Janis: [it's fine, we'd hate us too in your position and we will win you 'round in the end] Jimmy: [I'm sure Jimothy will also do something to make it up to you cos he's just that bitch even though he's fuming at you for not walking Twix ever] Janis: [lowkey don't deserve it but you lucky gal and not shading you too hard] Jimmy: [we all know you're strugging rn gal it's okay] Janis: [not helping your brother but this isn't meant to be your job any more than it's meant to be his] Jimmy: [and we'll let you get your bf and friends soon and then you can walk Twix together] Janis: [and you'll be happy, despite the fact you go back up north, that's your business hen] Jimmy: [what if he sends her a valentine and that's what starts this lil otp] Janis: [that would be very cute do it] Jimmy: [like idk if he goes to your school or if he's putting in through your door or if he even signs it but we know bitch] Janis: [we should be nice and say he goes to your school so you have company but it should be a ? 'cos that's cute, I've only ever got one of those and it was from nannie haha] Jimmy: [I've derailed us but yeah that felt like a nice thing to happen amidst all the drama] Janis: [hohaha you'd be so embarrassed gal, be nice Jimothy aka shamelessly tease her] Jimmy: [simply must] Janis: [but yes, we're probably good for tonight unless you really wanna 'round 2 Ian] Jimmy: [do you wanna do the am?] Janis: [sure ting honey, it's a tuesday, so you'll be having to get Bobby ready for school and Ian will be gone so that's good] Jimmy: [leaving the bae in bed while we do our big brother duties but we will be bringing you breakfast gal you know it] Janis: 👋😪 Janis: you want any help? Jimmy: did I teach you the signs for hurry the fuck up? Janis: 🤔 Janis: [clip of her doing the thing where you gesture towards yourself frantically like LETS GO] Janis: ? Jimmy: that'd do Janis: does he know I'm here? Jimmy: he'd have come to ask you loads of questions about his missus if he did Janis: 💔 ouch Jimmy: if you fancy jumping out at him, the 🐕'll give you a hand knocking him about and getting his attention Janis: I'm not that offended Janis: be a bit rude Janis: plus if your sister knows I'm here, she definitely wants to see me even less Jimmy: but I might want to Jimmy: bit rude of you not to think about that Janis: Please Janis: I think about you ALL the time Janis: and you've seen a lot of me lately Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Jimmy: me and the 🐕 are having a 💔💪🏆 Janis: she's FUMING at me Janis: I went to the bathroom and she was giving me 🔪🔪👀 Jimmy: the 🐕 or my sister? Janis: 🐕 Janis: your fault Janis: haven't you noticed her 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Jimmy: Oi, nowt to do with me, I never said you went to the park without her Janis: you kicked her out Janis: I remember Janis: also she was scrapping at the door Jimmy: not my fault you never said that were a kink of yours Jimmy: should've if you wanted her kept in Janis: shut up Janis: I said she was mad, not me Jimmy: she'll get over it once I sort her breakfast out Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: for 🥞🧇🥓🍳 or in life in general Jimmy: obvs to eat, dickhead Jimmy: but if there's owt else I can do an' all, go on Janis: cheek that you don't wanna know all about my ambitions and dreams in the morning Janis: @ the gals with that relatable content Jimmy: I LITERALLY just said tell me so that's bollocks Janis: woe is me 😉 can't hear you over all my 😭 Jimmy: poor baby Janis: are you going to school today? Jimmy: are you? Janis: haven't got my uniform Jimmy: you can borrow my spare if that's the only thing putting you off Janis: school is always off-putting Janis: but didn't know if you were gonna go in to shut him up Jimmy: if it were that piss easy I might do Janis: yeah Janis: I'll come in, if you are Janis: I usually have mine in my bag but I left that at home when I went out last night, for some reason Jimmy: probably weren't planning on going, we still don't have to Janis: what do you want to do? Jimmy: if we don't go? Janis: well I meant are we going or not Janis: but go on Jimmy: whatever is the most #ultimategoals bollocks we can think of, duh Janis: do you reckon any of them have heard of bed peace Janis: 😴😴😴 Jimmy: will have once I'm done 📷🥇 Janis: you're gonna koala onto the side of me? Janis: you're basically scouse, yeah 😏 Jimmy: unless you fancy making another fort downstairs, been ages since the last one Janis: just say you want to babe Janis: I'll get started whilst you're taking him in Jimmy: only thinking of you 🦒 Janis: it's a bit of a squeeze Janis: stretched out rn though Jimmy: very subtle Jimmy: I won't hurry back Janis: 🥺🥺 Janis: fine Jimmy: make up your mind, girl Janis: you know what I want Janis: read my mind, boy Jimmy: I miss you an' all Janis: compared to the school run, I'm a delight, obvs Jimmy: but hang on, some of them yummy mummies really dress up so you've got a bit of competition Janis: you have fun with that then Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 OBVS Janis: you're gross Janis: and I'm going back to bed Jimmy: actual 🤞 you don't 🤮 in my 🗑 Janis: I ain't even hungover Jimmy: 'cause I came and got you before you could get too off your head Janis: you act like you've never done it Jimmy: never said that Janis: What, then? Jimmy: nowt 🤐 Janis: why'd you come though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: why can't I ask? Jimmy: what's it matter? it's done now Janis: alright Jimmy: there's 🗨 you can read before I did Janis: that would require reading my own 🗨 Janis: I'd rather leave it 🤐 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll take the dog out Jimmy: what happened to going back to 😴? Janis: I'm not sleepy Jimmy: tah then Janis: no worries Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it doesn't need to be weird Jimmy: what? Janis: ➡️ ⬅️ ⬆️ ⬇️ ↗️ ↘️ ↙️ ↖️ Janis: this Jimmy: you're the one calling it weird to say it don't need to be Janis: I'm just saying I don't wanna start up the whole thing again, that's all Jimmy: that's alright by me Janis: okay Janis: ignore me Jimmy: I don't want to ignore you Janis: okay, don't, but I mean Janis: I'm not trying to be a dick Jimmy: I'll give you a 🏆 if you manage it Jimmy: 😏 Janis: fair but fuck off 😂 Janis: not going for 😇 fake gf Jimmy: what you going for? Janis: 😈 DUH Jimmy: you can have that 🏆 Janis: I'd fight you if you disagreed on that Jimmy: no need as it's fake Jimmy: I'll agree to owt as long as it's on brand Janis: that ain't fake Jimmy: last night it were Jimmy: SO nice you 😇🏆🥇 Janis: that was mate stuff Janis: not fake gf Jimmy: let's just be mates today then Jimmy: I'm 🥱😴 if you're not Janis: subtle way to say just be nice to me all day Janis: but alright Jimmy: I'll do it back, not that much of a dickhead Janis: doesn't sound terrible Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: 🤝 Janis: and I could sleep, so don't need to worry about me creepily watching you and/or stealing all your shit whilst you 🥱😴 Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: you've had loads of chances to do both before now Janis: gain your trust first, not an amateur Jimmy: and what, you reckon you have? Janis: yep Janis: like you said, could've easily done both by now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oi, are you saying I haven't? Jimmy: I said I weren't bothered about you thieving or 👀 at us 😴 Jimmy: don't mean I trust you, mate, just that I've got nowt worth nicking and don't reckon I'm 🎨 Janis: Psh, that's a blatant lie Jimmy: which bit? Janis: not reckoning you're 🎨 Janis: you and your massive head Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: if that weren't bollocks I'd be my own muse Janis: selfies aren't #art Janis: that's the truth, pretentious hipster Jimmy: take one and watch the fans disagree Janis: you do the same Janis: you know what you look like Jimmy: [obviously does because no fucks given ever] Jimmy: there you go then Janis: see Janis: you're Janis: your DMs will 💥 'cos I'm not in it Jimmy: have to take loads with you in Jimmy: good job you're not hungover Janis: I've not seen myself yet Janis: could be 👹 Jimmy: 📷 Jimmy: it's your go Janis: [a bed selfie where you clearly look good 'cos when do you not, bitches be mad] Janis: demanding, you Jimmy: if I were next to you there I would be Janis: 😳 Janis: rude to say that and not be Jimmy: I thought it'd be ruder not to 🗨 soz Jimmy: taking our 🤝 dead serious, me Janis: speechless is a bit far Jimmy: Dunno you might reckon the nicest thing I can do is shut up Janis: nah Janis: I've told you loads I don't mind it Janis: your 🗨 Jimmy: [a voice memo that's full of compliments about that selfie because of course] Janis: I already missed you Janis: you had to make me admit it, didn't you Jimmy: weren't why but I'm not fuming that you feel the same as me Janis: you shouldn't be allowed out of this bed Janis: s'what I reckon Jimmy: we can stay there long as you want Janis: ⛓😍 Jimmy: be like Lucas is about Jimmy: no need to go to english Janis: yeah, smart to mouth off to your captor Janis: think on Jimmy: #thickandnorthern Jimmy: you have been warned before Janis: damn, I thought you said thicc Janis: misled Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 for you Janis: yeah, pretty gutted Janis: you'll do for now Jimmy: til you @ some fatter northern dickhead Janis: have to change my tinder location Jimmy: not much of a #kink since you ain't even offered to make me owt for breakfast Janis: those are perks you've not even fake unlocked Jimmy: or answered what you want Janis: surprise me Janis: I'll get you something on the way back with the dog Jimmy: already outted yourself as not a real feeder, no need to follow through on it Janis: you don't like surprises...? Jimmy: you heard that I don't trust you Janis: it's breakfast Jimmy: it were you who asked the question Janis: alright Janis: your loss Jimmy: I do like surprises from you, the 🎄🎁 were good Janis: You ain't bad either Janis: no 🎅 shithead Jimmy: 💕 Janis: dunno how I'm gonna top it Jimmy: got ages before you have to Jimmy: not expecting THAT 🥇 of a breakfast, like Janis: wait and 👀 boy Janis: 💪🏆 Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I get it, you want me to have to compete with whatever 🍳🍞☕️🥞🧇🥓 I'm knocking up for you Janis: How else will you learn, babe? Janis: or maybe I just wanna do something nice, dickhead Jimmy: what's 🐕🏃 if not that? Janis: nothing new Janis: feel like that's all I friggin do Jimmy: who 🗨 it had to be something new? Jimmy: not 🥱😴 of you Janis: **because I keep you on your toes Jimmy: you're still about, that's all I want Janis: tah Janis: proximity is your biggest selling point as well Jimmy: 👏 @iantaylor8 for pissing about in this shithole instead of the one he was born in Janis: I'll @ my grandparents whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant you being at my 🏠 still but alright Jimmy: if they wanna take a bit of credit for that, you did say you didn't wanna go there Janis: already rude you have to split it 50/50 with your dad so Janis: not technically their fault, even if they'd hardly be happy I got pissed on a school day Jimmy: bit rude you didn't save me any tbh Jimmy: but not a surprise so I can't be fuming about it Janis: weren't my alcohol Janis: you could've hoe'd for it like the rest of us Jimmy: read the room a bit and they weren't chuffed to see me 💔🎻 Janis: awh babes Janis: 😞😘 Jimmy: your fault that you were, could've toned it down 🤏 and let me have some mates Janis: excuse me, you weren't hanging about to chat neither Jimmy: convenient that, you chucking the blame back over here Janis: you could've chucked me back if you were actually arsed Jimmy: might've been a good shout but I had a look and none of 'em were as fit as you Janis: now THAT'S a compliment Jimmy: take it then Janis: How can I? Janis: so overwhelmed you fancy me more than a bunch of greasy 16 year olds in tracksuits Jimmy: you're in the right place to have a lie down, you'll be alright Janis: OBVIOUSLY I prefer to swoon directly into your arms but Janis: have to do Janis: long as you reckon I'm dead when you get back and top yourself Janis: 😩🤤 Jimmy: Bill wouldn't have owt else Jimmy: trying to get this ☕☠ as we 🗨 him Janis: he's so thoughtful Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [bring her whatever adorable breakfast you've made before she gets out of bed because we know what this gal is like] Janis: [shamelessly giving you a massive smooch like you're gonna be gone forever] Jimmy: [it will feel like forever and we all know it, also shamelessly doing a little photoshoot so his dms don't blow up and obvs no other reason like she's the cutest ever] Janis: [so domestic, so cute] Jimmy: [the effort to tear himself away I lol you'll be right back sir] Janis: [and we all know you're not going to school so like, you have all day kids, god bless] Jimmy: [too in love] Janis: [bet Mia will make one of the gals dob you in] Jimmy: [she blatantly will, that snitch] Janis: [like get over it henny, why have you got nothing better on] Jimmy: [your jealousy and bitterness is simply not bringing us down rn hun] Janis: [we're already in trouble and don't care so like, what do you think you're achieving] Jimmy: [you're just annoying Grace even more than you already do gal, sadly she has not yet yeeted and we will have to endure the notp of her and Harry] Jimmy: [jimothy meanwhile is living his best life sending the bae pisstakey pics of these mums on the school run] Janis: ugh, put your tongue away Jimmy: @ the 🐕 Jimmy: nowt but 😎🖍 here Janis: well that was SO 🤓 so Janis: speak for yourself, not him Janis: dragging down his playground cred Jimmy: alright 😒🌧 then Janis: you'll get all the single mums that ain't learnt their lesson after you then Janis: sensible ones trying to tempt away the nice male teacher or one of the active dads Jimmy: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: Asia's mum Janis: She would Janis: you should, at least make Asia fuming Jimmy: see if I can convince her to 🔒 our kid's BFF in a cupboard or some bollocks an' all Jimmy: send her off to wherever the fuck she's named after Janis: must look up to the 💀💀s more that one Jimmy: must take after Asia with her 🧠 AND 🦷🦷 Janis: Poor little fuckers Jimmy: should have the full orchestra hanging about on this school run Janis: right? Janis: it's well depressing Jimmy: 💔 you ain't trained the 🐕 to take him to school for us Janis: soz she still needs a babysitter herself, like Janis: she'll be out of the puppy stage soon-ish and less of a handful but Nana is still a bit of a 💭 Jimmy: convenient excuses them, Janet Janis: 😒 Jimmy: *😏 Janis: I thought you were trained better than this, tbh Jimmy: said as you're having breakfast in bed Janis: you're saying I should be telling you how grateful I am rn? Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: Hmm Jimmy: wind your 🦒 neck in Jimmy: I'm being nice Janis: Charming as ever 😂 Jimmy: [writes some v charming and extra post like there you go] Janis: it's gross yet impressive how fast you can turn it on Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: post about how fast you can turn it on would seem a bit cheap rn Janis: I'll be more 💕 too I GUESS Janis: [post it bitch] Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: now give me what the 1st draft were Janis: [something way more 🔥] Jimmy: you been holding out on me this whole time or what? Janis: can't distract you from your duties/milf hunting Jimmy: you've just proved you can Janis: alright, shouldn't Jimmy: why? Janis: because you're having SUCH a good time already Janis: what kind of mate? Jimmy: a TOP one, duh Janis: you haven't been that nice Janis: 💔 Jimmy: how have I not? Janis: aforementioned milfs Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: I'm sending those pisstaking 📷 of them but I'm looking at the ones of you Janis: Jealousy isn't cute, I get it Jimmy: whatever you do is cute, every dickhead gets that Janis: you're not every dickhead Janis: and I'm not that bitch Jimmy: and the kind of dickhead I am is alright with who you are Janis: ew Janis: 🤫🤫🤫 Jimmy: Oi Janis: we don't do mushy Jimmy: calm yourself down, I'll chuck a pillow at you in a bit or some bollocks Janis: I'll start an argument if you like Jimmy: has been AGES since the last one Janis: 👍 Janis: so much fun Jimmy: for Bill, I'd be chuffed to leave it out with the #drama Janis: unlucky Jimmy: for you, not being able to compete with Ian when it comes to having a strop Jimmy: I'll live Janis: fuck off Jimmy: this you starting the 🥊? Janis: you'd know if it was Janis: so no Jimmy: 👍 Janis: let's not Janis: I can't be arsed to go into school Jimmy: you know I don't wanna fight with you Janis: then we're not Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I'm capable Jimmy: never said you weren't Janis: you don't need to when you keep calling me stroppy like I'm Libi's fucking age Jimmy: I'm only pissing about Jimmy: call me what you like Janis: not feeling the 🤤 now soz Jimmy: 💔 Janis: isn't it just Janis: me and the 🐕 are out, if you rush, the bed will still be warm-ish Jimmy: 🏃 Jimmy: how much food she nick off you? Janis: erm she had to wait patiently until I was done Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: can't help being dominant Jimmy: send tweet Jimmy: I'll get one of the 🎻 to play for you Janis: for you Janis: 🥈 Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😏 Janis: ask Lucas, under me is EXACTLY where you wanna be, dickhead Jimmy: I'll @ him while I'm waiting for you Janis: better than the milfs Janis: he can't come 'round and seduce you Janis: #doubleenglishfirstperiod Jimmy: have to use his words Janis: if that's a hint Jimmy: for him that he can't half arse this just 'cause he's got one of Bill's classics to teach Janis: good luck Janis: he's way more touchy feely, despite the job title Jimmy: tah babe 😘 Janis: what's your angle Janis: besides being 2nd choice to me Jimmy: don't need one Jimmy: it's just that REAL between us, obvs Janis: 👌 Janis: what a nice change Jimmy: gotta have something to do when you're pissing about with this 🐕 Janis: thought you were 🥱😴? Jimmy: thought you promised me breakfast Janis: You can't nap and leave me to it? Janis: got loads of fantasies to be cracking on with, nothing else Jimmy: too excited, me Jimmy: you proper talked up how 🥇 it were gonna be a bit ago Janis: ✊💦 help you finish Janis: what a morning you're having Jimmy: don't keep you about for nowt Janis: aside from the fact I allegedly wouldn't go home Jimmy: it weren't like I were gonna make you Jimmy: or wanted to Janis: cheers Janis: if I was gonna argue with anyone Janis: better be you Janis: sorry Jimmy: we called a truce, you weren't allowed Janis: right Janis: be a bit rude to Jimmy: and you've got nowt to be sorry for Janis: I remember what we actually did Janis: so I know Jimmy: no hangover, not even that much of a pisshead in the first place, yeah I heard Janis: okay Janis: I know I was a bit Janis: not the end of the world Jimmy: not having a go Janis: thank god Jimmy: meant what I said Janis: what part? Jimmy: all of them Janis: nice and specific Janis: but okay Jimmy: alright, specifically not being a massive dickhead to you Jimmy: today at least Janis: don't worry Janis: you're never that bad Janis: not 🥇 anyway Jimmy: that's bollocks but sounds like 🥊🗨 an' all so I'll leave it out Janis: you reckon you're Ian levels of 🤬? Janis: nah Jimmy: there'd be a massive scale between him and me Jimmy: don't mean I weren't a twat to you before Janis: well you are a dickhead, don't need to apologize for who you are, like Janis: you're my mate, yeah Jimmy: your best mate, keep having to tell you Janis: I've still got the necklace Jimmy: be a bit rude if you'd chucked it Janis: don't just wear it when you're about Jimmy: don't just use my lighter when you are Janis: Your habit is pretty extensive Jimmy: 🚬's dead addictive, you not heard? Janis: 😱 Janis: and you let me have some Janis: wow Jimmy: not your daddy Jimmy: and it's a bit late for your growth to get stunted, Judith Janis: you're trying to make yourself feel tall Janis: that makes sense, Tom Jimmy: if I were bothered I'd chuck on a pair of 👠 Janis: or take a saw to mine Jimmy: I'll try not to go as far as fucking up your ankle again Jimmy: right ball ache that were Janis: why are you lying kathy Jimmy: Dunno what you mean Jimmy: ain't a 🪓 under this pillow or owt Jimmy: just me and my ⛓ how you're used to Janis: I'll come back then Janis: if you're promising no surprises Jimmy: [a pic of him snuggled in bed like see there's no danger] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: you Janis: I've got the evidence right in front of me so Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: 👀📷 Janis: I'd take better ones but there's nothing very sexy about freezing my nips off Janis: you can, when I'm back Jimmy: warm you up a bit first Janis: you will Jimmy: can easily promise that Janis: It's not easy though Janis: you're just good Jimmy: never been a hard job, can't take all the credit for that Jimmy: 🤏 you an' all Jimmy: probably have to share the 🏆 at least Janis: alright Janis: we can drink from it Janis: toast to how easy it is Jimmy: long as Bill's 👻 don't try and take over like the proud dad he is Janis: ☠ later Jimmy: he'll have to wait til after I've 💀💀💀 you loads of other ways Janis: you first in that respect Janis: always Jimmy: them lads from that estate'll still be fuming about it Jimmy: swings'll be 🔥 Janis: was never gonna get drunk enough to do shit with them 🤷 Jimmy: not enough drinks in whatever shop they robbed for you to wanna bother, I get it Janis: obviously Janis: not the only girl to ever fuck them over like that, they'll survive Janis: least they can't accuse me of being frigid without sounding stupid now Jimmy: if anyone's still calling you that it'll be me that's fuming Jimmy: what more have I gotta do, like? Janis: 🍆📹 they wish Jimmy: come here then Janis: 😏 Jimmy: *🏃 Janis: I get it, you need both hands free Jimmy: dunno what's ruder, that you're not well trained enough to leg it to me when I click my fingers or that you reckon I don't already have a tripod set up Janis: right, you're a PROFESSIONAL pervert Janis: excuse me Jimmy: get it right Janis: get yourself to church Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ your shit nan, see if she can pick me up Janis: I'll stop 🏃 then Jimmy: or just 🏃 faster Janis: you think I want to fight my nan again Jimmy: didn't know it were a habit Janis: oh Janis: yeah, obvs Jimmy: alright, if it stops you trying to 🥊 with me Janis: bit selfish but Janis: 👌 Jimmy: never said I weren't Janis: I definitely am so not gonna say nothing Jimmy: already said I like you, not gonna risk 🗨 it again after how that went Janis: no accounting for taste Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: got time to dry my eyes before you get back Janis: just about Janis: but I know you, so don't worry too much Jimmy: Oi Janis: I like you too Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: no need to chuck you out Janis: you promised you'd warm me up first Jimmy: 'course I will Jimmy: not an utter bastard Janis: I know Janis: fuck knows why I like you Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Bill's gonna do you a list, look less bigheaded coming from him Janis: 🤏 Janis: [come back now] Jimmy: [show her why she likes you with the most extra and enthusiastic welcome ever] Janis: [thank god everyone has gone so we can do what we like, even Twix be having her breakfast rn] Jimmy: [the actual freedom because that's never a thing for him] Janis: [true, when he's here the kids always are, live your best life honeys, not that you were being considerate last night but you know lol] Jimmy: [the feelings just keep getting higher, they can't be blamed or tamed, 100000000% gonna get in the shower together later and run up Ian's water bill too not soz] Janis: [hohaha you know he's the type to be fuming so we gotta] Jimmy: [he's gonna be so fuming when Janis leaves because you've skipped school again as well, not looking forward to that but for now, I'm buzzing for you both] Janis: [no, we're all worried about that, lowkey trying to never leave again but we know we have to soon, just like 🥺] Jimmy: [it's not gonna be nice, fuck you Ian, thank god things are going well for jj rn so if he kicks jimothy out in the cold or something post brawl at least we have the bae] Janis: [subtly moves self in so Ian can never kick off again, we know that that is eventually what's gonna happen but sadly not yet] Jimmy: [can't wait for that] Janis: [lowkey take over your house because what you gon do sir, look after your children? unlikely] Jimmy: [or out yourself as an actual utter bastard by kicking off, even more unlikely] Janis: [like you can be salty but if you even asked for rent or whatever to try and get her out she'd just pay it so soz] Jimmy: [so glad Janis has worked out what Ian is really like because it'd seem like he was making it up/ it wasn't as bad if she hadn't] Janis: [the injuries don't lie, and if he'd got them from scrapping or whatever he would've just said 'cos it's much less shameful so we know] Jimmy: [and soz but who would this soft boy be fighting you're not a massive slag giving him grief like his ex] Janis: [exactly, we already know he ain't that boy either so like, pretend all you like Ian, we see you] Jimmy: [not soz he's not actually Liam 2.0 and a mad lad] Janis: [you'll see eventually fam, anywhosers, do we wanna do any of their day or skip to when she's gotta think about leaving] Jimmy: [we can probably skip because we know the vibe when they're together] Janis: [when are you gonna think you've gotta leave hmm] Jimmy: [and am I making you go to work after school or not hmm] Janis: [that would make sense, if you go to work and you leave] Jimmy: [let's do that then why not] Jimmy: [probably go pick Bobby up from school first and maybe take him and Twix to the park or something for a bit because Cass gonna mad at you after last night so] Janis: [yeah, we can give you that time, he's primary so he probably gets out pretty early] Jimmy: you wanna come with me? Jimmy: do some ☕🎨 Janis: tempting offer, boy Janis: I DO need to perfect the 💕 for the BIG day Jimmy: for the fans who ain't 😎 enough for the smoke rings I taught you Janis: all of them? Jimmy: SHOOK that you've forgotten the dickheads who vape Jimmy: good to know you ain't getting me one of them for the BIG day Janis: I bet they have flavours that are well appropriate though Janis: all 🍓🍧🍨🧁🍭🍬🍫 Jimmy: gimme 👼🏽🩸 and 🥀 or I don't want it 💔 Janis: That's why you've invited me Janis: 🤞 I fuck up that bad Janis: who's first aid? Jimmy: Pete 😍🤤 Jimmy: had loads of 🩺 fantasies obvs Janis: UGH Janis: what can't he do Jimmy: NOWT Jimmy: 💪🏆🩹💕 Jimmy: need a 🤕 that looks chuffed to bits Janis: 🥴 with a bandage, deffo Janis: cannot wait for my third degree burns now Jimmy: they'll probably be about though Jimmy: 💀👑 and that Jimmy: so you'll have to fake that your 😍🤤 is @ me til they've pissed off Janis: oh, duh Janis: caffeine so needed after a long day of bitching about everyone Janis: I reckon I'll manage Jimmy: haven't had their IRL 👀 on us all day Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: You need the audience, yeah? Jimmy: they need the updates Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: hmm Janis: alright, hate to disappoint 'em, obvs Jimmy: make it worth your ⏲ with 🥪🍪🧁 if their 👀🔪🔪 don't Janis: just don't make yourself sick of me Jimmy: bit rude to be taking the piss out of my stamina Janis: you're rude Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: been 🥇😇 all day Janis: exactly Jimmy: I just Jimmy: don't want you to 👋 yet Janis: Me either Janis: I'm coming Jimmy: okay Janis: I just feel a bit Janis: the hangover might've caught up with me Janis: easy on the 🍪🧁 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a smoothie Janis: so behind my 💪🏆 Jimmy: DUH Jimmy: you can sit in the back again an' all if you want Janis: that's okay Janis: gotta have all 👀s on us to make it count Jimmy: nowt makes 'em more fuming than what they can't 👀 all I'm 🗨 Jimmy: you don't need to worry about chucking them the 🍿 if you don't feel alright Janis: should teach them to lip read Janis: but don't Janis: I'm okay, honest Jimmy: [teaching her how to sign stuff for if she doesn't feel well that won't be obvious to the flatwhites cos lord knows some sign language really is] Janis: [doing some you've remembered from a previous sesh like look, I've learnt] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😏 I know, so impressive Janis: Libi makes me practice with her Jimmy: without me having to @ her an' all Jimmy: must be 💕 Janis: DUH Janis: don't be acting like you haven't had your 👂 signed off Jimmy: it's alright, he's deffo gonna outdo me with his 🎨 and 🎁s Jimmy: probably keep it going the whole 2 weeks, him Jimmy: CLEARLY mutual Janis: Your influence Jimmy: except I dunno what I'm gonna get you that won't make you start a scale for it from 🙄 to 🤮 Janis: you don't have to get ME fuck all Janis: you only have to 1 up the basic 🎁 every lad does Jimmy: you'll be stuck with it, might as well sort out something that's not a load of shite Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll hit Bobby up for tips Jimmy: too soon for a 💍? Jimmy: he'd say it ain't Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna have to keep an 👀 on him Jimmy: least he's only got 😍 for Libi and don't take after me in being a massive slag Jimmy: be proposing to his whole class Janis: be well pricey if he's not reusing Jimmy: have to break into one of them machines once the shop is out of the sweet ones Janis: hoeing was meant to bring in the 💰 not lose it Janis: 💔 Jimmy: not gonna say you should give him tips Jimmy: still don't wanna 🥊 tah Janis: Not gonna break no baby hearts, so you're safe for now Jimmy: now I know you're feeling 🤢 Janis: you're gonna have to later Jimmy: what for? Janis: 🥊 Janis: not me Jimmy: I thought you meant 💔👶 Jimmy: not in the job description but alright Janis: 'course not Janis: be a weird rule to have at any of 'em Janis: ☕ or 💕 Jimmy: piss easy though Janis: that's not up for debate Janis: taking the 🍭🍬 is well known Jimmy: *🍪🧁 Jimmy: off you and them Janis: so tough Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I won't wanna go Janis: you promised you'd teach me how to do the thing Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: I'll make it worth your while Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: come on Janis: you know me Jimmy: and you know I'm only pissing about, Jules Jimmy: VERY impressive, you Jimmy: said it before Janis: I'll get you to say it again Janis: one way or another Jimmy: you can't just say that like it's nowt and we're just gonna go crack on with ☕🎨 Janis: why not? Jimmy: you know why not Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: you're so Janis: that's you Jimmy: you Janis: you did such a good job on your first job Janis: you deserve to have a good shift Jimmy: it weren't a job today Janis: true Jimmy: I'll call in sick if you want, my nursing kink ain't gone nowhere Janis: No, no Janis: we'll have a good time Jimmy: can't deny that Janis: you can but I'm gonna do my best Jimmy: you'd know I were faking if I tried to bother Janis: let's not Janis: even if they're there Janis: we can still work it Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Jimmy: it still won't feel like a job, however hard work 💀👑 and her mates are Janis: neither of us need it Janis: they'll see 😍 regardless 'cos they want to Jimmy: right Jimmy: we've done our 💕 posts Janis: and it's not like I'll be ignoring you Jimmy: or that I can ever ignore you Janis: they don't know the difference Jimmy: 🧠💀💀💀 Janis: and you do 💀💀 me Janis: really Jimmy: you're killing me now Janis: sorry Janis: IOU Jimmy: when you feel less hungover Janis: I don't feel hungover Janis: I just miss you and I'm gonna miss you Jimmy: no need to miss me now and if you do in a bit I'll do the balcony scene 🌹 Jimmy: gone further to come get you and I didn't get lost Janis: it was VERY impressive, baby Jimmy: do alright under pressure Jimmy: @ my manager Janis: I'll put it on the trip advisor review Jimmy: tah Janis: I'll keep it PG Janis: or at the very least be vague about which barista I'm fucking Jimmy: I get it, this were nowt but a plan to get Pete's girlfriend to piss off Janis: 🤫🤫 Janis: worked SO hard on this plan, you ain't fucking it up for me Jimmy: 🤐 for now but he'll get it out of me Janis: great, now I've got to have a threesome with you 🙄 Jimmy: need a different eye rolling emoji for that Jimmy: get a bit closer to your actual review Janis: don't you dare make me 😳 in front of him Jimmy: it ain't my fault you're 😳 whenever I'm about Janis: psh Janis: whichever way you look at it that's clearly bollocks Jimmy: you're 🗨 bollocks denying it, mate Janis: shut up Jimmy: make me Janis: you're on Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: sorted our kid out now, I can do you before we have to go Janis: 1. no you can't 2. don't add me to your to-do list Jimmy: 1. yeah I can 2. you're top of every list, don't be a dickhead Janis: I want you too much Jimmy: so come here Jimmy: there's loads I can do about that Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [I'm just like do we want these kids to ruin this for you or no cos clearly both around] Janis: [when we're gonna be so rude later we're like ahh have everything lol, you probably would get cocklblocked though being real] Jimmy: [hence I was conflicted because Ian is gonna be a huge cunt and hurt you boy but realism though] Janis: [you can have an enjoyable time at the CG before we make you say goodbye it's okay, like it's not but] Jimmy: [we're doing what we can lads, you're welcome] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to then now if you like] Janis: [skippity doo dah] Jimmy: [do we wanna do any of the CG stuff is the question or fully go to later] Janis: [we could just vibe out how the gals are 'cos we already said Mia and co are being extra like skipping school is so shocking, then skip to when they have to say goodbye 'cos it'll be emosh] Jimmy: [that's a fair shout I think because yeah we know that they'll be goals without trying so it's just how Mia's trying to be] Janis: ['cos soon she's gonna literally get him fired so clearly she's gonna be a cow] Jimmy: [making complaints like a Karen when he's literally done nothing wrong, we see you] Janis: [she should be like IS THAT GIRL TRAINED when he's letting Janis do some latte art, as if they're giving anyone the ones she's making, so then they have to stop] Jimmy: [that's so petty she would, like gal we weren't gonna serve it to you we're just having a nice time while there is a lull in customers step back] Janis: [seriously, excuse us tryna have fun, like we still will but clearly that's the vibe, any time they try to do something she's like UM] Jimmy: [yeah and any time he tries to go remotely near the bae's table she suddenly needs something as if he's the only barista here] Janis: Can she be our second victim? Janis: 🔪🔪 Jimmy: first Jimmy: no need to hang about Janis: I'll clearly poison her 'cos I dunno how to make a latte Janis: whoops Jimmy: could let you loose with the steam wand Janis: her face just looks like that Jimmy: exactly, can't be traced back to you Janis: I don't want Pete to give me his disappointed face when he has to give her a bandage and write it in the accident book though Janis: 😥 Jimmy: I'll say it were me, piss easy to get his forgiveness 😘 Janis: rude Jimmy: it's alright, I know how to get yours an' all Janis: you do not Jimmy: 😏 Janis: dickhead Janis: meant to be focused on the murder anyway, you've got well off topic Jimmy: Oi, well decent at 🤹 now, me Janis: you need to work on your 🏃 clearly Jimmy: get my 🐕 trained and then we'll 🗨 Janis: am I even qualified? Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: can you get 💀👑 to behave herself or what? Janis: could give it a go Janis: what's in it for me though Jimmy: other than getting to rub her noise in her 🤮 next time she pisses off to the 🚽 how dickheads do when their 🐕s piss, you mean? Jimmy: what else do you want? Janis: save on you cleaning it up, you mean Janis: but alright Janis: [go over to the gals table like they haven't been actively being bitchy like HEY BABES WHAT'S UP] Jimmy: [comes over too like is there anything else you need and just being subtly but not subtly touchy feely with the bae while you're there to annoy Mia like what are you gonna do bitch make a complaint cos I'm playing with her hair] Janis: [getting y'all a massive cake or muffin or whatever that you would never order yourselves like our treat!] Jimmy: [LOL I love that, Hollie will be buzzing] Janis: [finally some food, just force feeding you like what are you gonna do, say no and look weird? I think not] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: worth it for the 😨😰 Janis: just collateral the ones that eat occasionally are getting fed but I'll cope Jimmy: do you want owt or have they made you lose your appetite? Jimmy: tell me so I can fake that I 🧠📖 Janis: I'll take a smoothie Janis: bonus points that I can brag about how talented you are or whatever Jimmy: and she can have a go that I ignored a load of dickheads to get it done for you Jimmy: they must be 👻s an' all Janis: since when was 💕a crime, Mia Janis: must've been dumped Jimmy: when I'm 45 and undercover 👮🚔 but that's our secret so Janis: She'd be far too into you then Janis: no escape Jimmy: [IRL 🤫 cos he looks hot doing it and then it looks like they are being saucy with their convo lol] Janis: [🤭 energy back but not exactly that obviously] Jimmy: [😏😍 energy that is not fake because I 100% assume she's wearing his clothes rn cos not been home and looking cute af] Jimmy: [definitely giving as many LOOKs as we can while we make this smoothie] Janis: [she definitely is so that's adorable and we never need to fake this energy lbr] Jimmy: [you've never had to fake much of anything we know and that's why this works] Janis: [mhmm, faking an interest in y'alls convo however? very much so] Janis: please tell me you're due a 🚬 soon Jimmy: manager ain't about to stop me Jimmy: bit busy with his 👂🩸 from all her whinging probably Janis: definitely better not go out back as it's staff only Jimmy: What?! 😱 you DON'T work here? Jimmy: top ☕🎨 like that! Janis: I know right?! Janis: #hiremegreg Jimmy: [writes her a review as if she do work here] Janis: pretty generous Jimmy: [shows her some pics of his early latte art like look how shit I was] Janis: awh, baby's first ☕🎨 Janis: only got a few years before your brother comes for this gig too Jimmy: 🤞 they'll have heard of coffee in the north by then Jimmy: he'll be 💔😭😭 else Janis: 😏 Janis: you're not emmerdale northern, I remember, can't fool me Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: real 🤞 he's stopped copying me ages before that Janis: you'll lose your ✨ Jimmy: ⏲ Jimmy: [give her this smoothie with today's 🎨 on the napkin and a kiss on the cheek] Janis: [insta that in front of the gals, obvs, just showing you all how cute we are] Janis: 🤞 I don't forget and wipe my face with that Jimmy: 🤞 I've got my 📷 out when you do Janis: I won't Janis: 🐘 memory Jimmy: 💔 you'd look well shakespearian with a pen beard Jimmy: Bill's gonna roll in his ⚰ at the missed chance Janis: I don't need to think about him that excited, tbh Jimmy: 👻🎻 Janis: you're the slag, you deal with it Jimmy: alright Jimmy: leave you with whatever you wanna 💭 about instead Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: what happened to our break? Jimmy: nowt, ready when you are Janis: [run away because we are over this girly chat like let's go] Jimmy: [you lasted longer than I would gal hence Jimothy will light you a 🚬 cos deserved] Janis: [you can dramatically breathe out like PHEW] Jimmy: [do your own because we all know what you're thinking about but we can pretend it's either a pisstake of hers or in solidarity] Janis: [reaching out to squeeze the hand that isn't holding his cigarette] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on the back of hers but not establishing whether we're saying we are or asking if she is] Janis: [kissing the back of his] Jimmy: [kissing her dramatically because he cannot handle the softness rn] Janis: [we can go with that too] Jimmy: [just have a moment lads that's deserved too] Janis: [going in 'cos our emotions] Jimmy: [likewise because it's not like you care about all the people going past or that can see you inside] Janis: [keep going to say 'we-' and 'you-' like many times but never actually finishing either sentence 'cos you know he can't] Jimmy: [and don't talk to me about how tightly he's holding onto her because never mind this break not being long enough, this whole shift isn't and the goodbye and how evil I'm gonna be is looming over us] Janis: [gonna need someone to come through and break yous up we all know it] Jimmy: [thank god there's lots of possibilities for that cos of where you are] Janis: [someone else just tryna have their break lol] Jimmy: [soz but not] Janis: [truly] Janis: I'll brb Jimmy: Where you going? Janis: just need to get some stuff Jimmy: 🔪🪓🔧🔨🧱🧨🛢 I get it Janis: exactly Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: they should fuck off now 🤞 Jimmy: *🤞😁🤞 Janis: I'll do that whole way down the street, like Jimmy: 📷 it for us Jimmy: nowt else would do to make me 😁😁😁 Janis: ugh Janis: now I have to Jimmy: if you want a 🏆 or IOU Janis: [obviously we are] Jimmy: [have a lil reaction vid back as if we're not literally meant to be working because we're a nerd and in love] Janis: there we go Janis: all worth it now Janis: even though I looked like tiktok tammy Jimmy: 🦍🌃 Jimmy: you could NEVER Janis: compliment or diss? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: dunno Janis: 'cos if you're saying I can't dance like I'm having a seizure that's a lie Jimmy: you're gonna have to prove that now, you get that, yeah? Jimmy: walked right into making yourself look a twat Janis: you ask for any more 📷 and it's just gonna be weird Jimmy: alright, if you'd rather do it here in front of dickheads buying ☕ crack on Jimmy: I'll wait Janis: what about me doesn't scream 'loves an audience' Jimmy: what about me makes you reckon I'll be up for being your fake boyfriend after any of that bollocks? Jimmy: far as plans to dump me go Janis: you're the one asking me to do it, dickhead Janis: can't reverse psychology your way into getting to be the one doing the dumping Jimmy: you set yourself up, dickhead, nowt to do with me Janis: you could let it slide Janis: you already know I can dance Jimmy: I could Jimmy: you have got that IOU Janis: not what I'd use it for in an ideal world but Jimmy: might let you keep it and let it go an' all if I like the sound of what you would use it for Jimmy: am in a VERY 😁 mood now Janis: that'd be telling Janis: can't risk that 😁 Jimmy: go on Jimmy: you said it were in an ideal world, nowt but 😁 there Janis: but that ain't where any of us is Janis: so no point Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: yeah Janis: you weren't meant to stop 😁 Jimmy: doing my customer service face, it's as near Janis: if you're an alien who's never seen a person before Jimmy: busted 💔 Janis: 👮=👽 checks out Jimmy: bit racist of you but I get it, the north does look like something out of a shite sci fi film Jimmy: all them fuming orange lasses with nowt on 🤞 for 👽 Janis: bit up yourself Janis: but won't disagree Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: maybe you should go back Janis: first, like Jimmy: what for? Janis: so your dad has to relocate Jimmy: might just still be about big enough for the both of us Janis: it might work Janis: if you keep doing a runner Jimmy: don't see that happening with 👶👶🐕 Janis: he'd get fed up of looking after them, right Jimmy: not leaving them with him long enough to find out Janis: okay Jimmy: or trusting Ian to work out where I'd gone even if I left a 💌 with a drawn out map Janis: he can't be that thick Jimmy: why can't he? Janis: it's impossible he's not heard what your sister wants Janis: ignoring it is another issue Jimmy: yeah Janis: anyway Jimmy: what he's too thick to work out is that she wants a person not a place Jimmy: that's how he reckons he can make it work here with his 🎁💰🐕 Janis: guess he can't give that anywhere Jimmy: he could give her her mates back who were there and know about it, instead of this bollocks where it only gets 🗨 for each new Sharon who comes about Janis: so tell her to do it Jimmy: what makes you think I can tell her to do owt Janis: it's what she wants to do, so help her do it so she doesn't fuck it up Jimmy: she's a kid, I'm not helping her piss off on her own Janis: not permanently Janis: just so he has to do something about it Jimmy: no Janis: alright Jimmy: it's not alright, what the fuck's wrong with you? Janis: she's 12, not 2 Janis: and you said she has friends, all it is is showing up on their doorstep unannounced and waiting for their parents to call Jimmy: she's my sister, not some dickhead I don't care about that I'd use to score points against him Janis: I didn't say you had to, it was just a suggestion Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I said alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: what? Janis: forget it Jimmy: forget what? Janis: don't be a dick Jimmy: you started it Janis: by trying to help, sure Jimmy: I never asked for it Janis: nah, 'course not Jimmy: you don't know her Jimmy: and if she got it into her head to go looking for my mum instead of pissing about at a mates for a bit, fuck knows what'd happen Janis: like it's going to be easy to convince your dad to move back when he moved for a reason Jimmy: I'm not thick, alright Jimmy: I know how decent his job here is Janis: you either want to do something about it or you don't Janis: and you clearly don't so that's what forget it means Jimmy: stop having a go at me Jimmy: you clearly don't have a fucking clue about what I do or don't want Janis: this is pointless Jimmy: yeah, it is Janis: bye then Jimmy: 👋 Janis: I'll be over the road when you want your stuff back later Jimmy: it's nowt I need back in a bit Janis: then I'll leave it there Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [what do you wanna do like after he's gone home and dealt?] Jimmy: [I'll hit you back up because I was thinking injury wise like obvs it makes sense for them all to be hidden still because Ian is probs suss of Janis so like whatever healing his ribs have done they are probably fucked again but if it's lowkey that whole side of his body his wrist and arm would be an easy one for people to maybe notice at school but not think is a big deal because people hurt them all the time by putting them out when they fall etc and he can write with his other hand anyway but because we want some #drama and none of the bruises will be !! for a couple of days he could also have a dislocated shoulder as it's painful and shock factor for her to having to pop it back in but easy enough that she could without anyone else having to be involved] Jimmy: You still over the road or what? Janis: yes Janis: do you need to come in? Jimmy: come out Janis: ok Janis: [do that quickly 'cos we've clearly just been waiting] Jimmy: [I dread to think the state of this poor boy just trying not to cry outside mcvickers gaff like hey] Janis: [we're gonna be really shocked but pretending hard not to be like okay, just trying to survey the damage 'what do you need me to do?'] Jimmy: [show her your shoulder boy like nbd just casually pop this back into place because we're lowkey in shock here hence we told her to come outside even though you're gonna have to go in because you have to do this while he's lying on a bed you can't just do it here] Janis: [just gonna lead you inside without touching you or saying anything, just gesturing like come on 'it's okay' which is the furthest thing from the truth but what else can you say rn] Jimmy: [thank god you can trust her not only to do this but to not tell anyone because what a big ask when we're literally a month in] Janis: [lowkey, thank god you have a room here too, gonna rip your top off instead of trying to get it off 'cos impossible and bunching it in a way to make a decent gag because don't need to bite through your tongue or scream the house down, letting him get ready in that much and getting on the bed but not giving him loads of warning because best way to do it] Jimmy: [last we need is Libi or mcvickers rocking up and interrupting any of this so well played gal because he is not in a headspace to be helpful rn] Janis: [at least its one of those things where it's better once it's done so that'll be some minor relief for you, still, 'sorry' though 'cos it's fucking gnarly 'wait here' and going out to the bathroom, thank god they're old and probably have some decent painkillers, have to cross that bridge later when they think you've taken 'em for fun gal] Jimmy: [if he was thinking clearly he would not have come here because you already know too much gal and more importantly isn't not fair to make you do this when you're literally supposed to get xrays and shit first but here we are and you know he's saying sorry too and also trying to stop her from leaving even though she's literally just going too the bathroom and we realistically know that] Janis: [just keep telling him it's okay over and over 'we need to get you comfortable, okay? then we'll-' trail off 'cos we don't know and we know that's gonna be a journey to get there] Jimmy: [just nod because we know she's not wrong you do need those painkillers] Janis: [get as many of them down you as is safe boy, thanks for having a decent stash guys, also bandages we're gonna try to make use of now, taking his hand gently 'do you think any of the fingers are broken?'] Jimmy: [they gonna be suss about where all this has gone you're gonna have to lie convincingly gal, but for now we're just moving all our fingers by like messing about doing the signing alphabet and stuff like cos I'm gonna let you live and say they are okay] Janis: [sigh of relief like okay, we don't need to splint any of those, checking to see if he can bend his arm and how high he can etc before settling on splinting the whole forearm and then doing a sling 'he does realize you'll probably have to take more time off school now, where's the fucking sense in that' basically to ourselves and under our breath 'cos we know it's not logical and also not really about that] Jimmy: [didn't realise when you were having all that fun fake nursing each other that it would come to this, did you lads? ugh Ian, but jimothy is just getting ready to go when she's done this like okay thanks bye as if I'm just gonna let you walk out and go back to big brother duties and whatever else you're thinking about rn sir] Janis: [putting a hand out like stop 'you can't just go back'] Jimmy: ['I can't just stay here' like you literally can boy it's okay] Janis: '[just sit down, you need to give yourself chance to catch up'] Jimmy: [when you do sit down without arguing or saying anything pisstakey and it's so unlike him that we all hate it] Janis: [sit in silent shock for a sec guys 'you know you can't let him do this again' 'you will end up in hospital'] Jimmy: ['you're acting like there's owt else I can do that I've not'] Janis: ['that isn't what I'm saying' 'this isn't working, not any more'] Jimmy: ['What then, you still want me to tell Cass to crack on making him more fuming than I ever have done, knowing what he's like?] Janis: ['has he hit her?'] Jimmy: ['not yet'] Janis: ['you're gonna have to consider possibilities you don't like, you can't live like this'] Jimmy: ['there ain't a possibility I've not, I've been living like this for ages'] Janis: ['this isn't just discipline or whatever the fuck, it's assault and he knows that, wouldn't you be better off without him?'] Jimmy: ['where do you reckon we'd go? They're not better off without me'] Janis: ['I don't know, all I know is, he gives you any more injuries, neither of you will have any say who gets involved, okay'] Jimmy: ['he's got away with it this long'] Janis: ['well he isn't now'] Jimmy: ['I didn't come here for you to have another go at me'] Janis: ['I'm not'] Jimmy: ['nobody knows fuck all about it and that's the way it's staying'] Janis: [just shrugging like okay and getting up to go 'get some sleep' Jimmy: [likewise getting up to leave and actually go home this time like okay bye] Janis: ['next time this happens, don't come to me for help, because this isn't fair' 'because I do know and I'm not going to pretend I don't again'] Jimmy: ['I shouldn't have bothered coming this time' because we know it's not fair and we're just very sad and frustrated by life obvs 'do what you like' because lord knows we would if we could] Janis: ['I'm not going to tell anyone' 'but it has nothing to do with what I like, Jesus fucking Christ'] Jimmy: ['and I'm not saying tah for you not being a massive dickhead who'd proper fuck my little brother and sister over' a shrug but we're maintaining eye contact because this is serious] Janis: ['it's not about them' because it ain't Jimmy: ['you tell anyone and they'll get chucked into care same as I would'] Janis: ['remind him of that, not me'] Jimmy: ['you don't think I have done?'] Janis: ['there are ways to make it a more serious threat'] Jimmy: [just an exhausted sigh because he's doing everything he can always and it's not enough ever] Janis: ['think about it, the last thing he wants is people knowing, yeah? well I know'] Jimmy: ['might work for a bit, til he's too fuming to be bothered and just tells himself no dickhead'll believe you or owt else he needs to'] Janis: [just looks at him like there's all the evidence needed 'not like it's being made up though'] Jimmy: ['alright, it might be enough to get him to fuck off back to the north and get us away from you, but that don't help me'] Janis: ['except he doesn't want to go back, as is very fucking obvious by now, so it'd be easier for him to stop beating the shit out of you than do that'] Jimmy: [a look like yeah obviously but that doesn't mean he will] Janis: ['it's accountability, if he keeps doing it, I could tell anyone, everyone- he clearly reckons you won't by now, he doesn't know that about me'] Jimmy: [just clearly thinking about if she did have to then follow through on that threat though and tell everyone and how much he obviously doesn't want anyone to know and all of this is just in his expression rn] Janis: [shaking our head like well there's fuck all else to say rn 'get some sleep'] Jimmy: ['stop saying that' cos clearly neither of them will be able to very easily] Janis: ['you need it to heal'] Jimmy: ['just say you want me to piss off, you've already said not to bother coming back'] Janis: ['I'm trying to fucking help you'] Jimmy: ['I know' in a purely frustrated way but then repeating it in a soft way because we do know that] Janis: ['I don't know what else you want me to do'] Jimmy: ['I never said I knew what I were doing or what you should' this boy trying not to cry again over here] Janis: ['don't' but softly 'cos we've been trying not to cry this whole convo lowkey and we don't wanna do it now] Jimmy: [doing a feelsy lean with our good side because we want to hug her but we can't] Janis: ['I mean it' and moving away so he doesn't hurt himself, but not dramatically like get away] Jimmy: [a nod because we know and we appreciate everything she has done and is trying to do more than we can put into words without crying rn ' but I shouldn't have made you do that' a look at his shoulder 'I'm a dickhead'] Janis: [shrug like it's nothing, like I'm sure you've seen dislocated shoulders but doubt you were the one putting them back in but okay 'don't mean you deserve any of this'] Jimmy: [a look like don't because we know it's not nothing and we're really sorry about this now we're thinking clearer] Janis: ['you didn't have anywhere else to go'] Jimmy: ['that don't mean it were alright to come here and do this to you'] Janis: ['I'm not the one battered and bruised, I'm fine'] Jimmy: ['I'm used to that bollocks, it's having someone be bothered about it that I can't get my head round' when you aren't used to having people care about you ever so you always feel like you're fucking it up] Janis: ['be a pretty shit person if I didn't' 'so I can see the confusion' not really the time to be salty about that but we are] Jimmy: [a lol which we then regret because ouch] Janis: [tryna be serious like 'for fuck's sake' but a lil bit 😏] Jimmy: [when you wanna kiss her so much that you've simply got to, injuries be damned] Janis: [at least your face is purposely avoided so you'll be okay but you can't go in sad times for you 'I'm sorry' 'that you think I'm having a go at you'] Jimmy: [shaking his head because he genuinely doesn't think that 'I didn't mean that it were just -' no need to finish that because she knows what you mean, we've all been put through it tonight honey and we've already admitted we've been a dickhead] Janis: [nods because yeah 'I was never saying it was easy, I don't think that'] Jimmy: [also nods because yeah 'and I weren't saying it were a shit idea'] Janis: ['I just want-' not finishing that sentence like never mind 'anyway'] Jimmy: [all the eye contact because always 'what?'] Janis: ['I just want you to be alright' mumbling and not giving more than a second of eye contact like you haven't already said ily and that you care] Jimmy: [posing to show off the amazing job she's done bandaging him up and 😁 like I am alright now as if it's that simple] Janis: [just like mhmm like that is not what I mean and you know that but we don't need to get into it rn it's okay] Jimmy: [pull her even closer to you because we do know what she means and we appreciate it] Janis: [checking him like be careful please 'I'm sleeping on the floor' it's definitely a double but we don't wanna hurt him] Jimmy: [gestures at the bed like um look how much space there is compared to what we've used to 'no need for that'] Janis: ['could make a pillow wall' like people who hate their partners do lmao] Jimmy: ['that'll be Mia at every one of them sleepovers, cracking on just like her dad taught her' shading Ella and Mia's mum in one go lol] Janis: [we have to lol 'poor els, no 'accidental' rub ups for her'] Jimmy: [goes to do the 💔 but can only do half so has to force the bae to do the other bit for us] Janis: ['so tragic' and lowkey forcing him to get situated properly in this bed as comfortably as possible 'what are you gonna say happened then?' 'cos can't hide for the whole time it'd take to heal] Jimmy: ['weren't planning to do a q&a about it' cos he's honestly not thought about it yet with everything else he has been thinking about 'don't matter as long as nobody reckons you smacked me about'] Janis: [a look like who is going to think that? then rolling our eyes 'cos is the type of thing Mia would try to say lol 'well no one is going to think you got it playing a sport' cheeky bit of shade as we are looking in the wardrobe and under the bed for something] Jimmy: [chucking a pillow at her for the shade like oi 'I'll say I fell over or some bollocks, worked for my mum'] Janis: [making a noise like psh but we're not throwing that back 'you tryna prove you have aim? alright, I believe you' and coming back with the pillow and the sleeping bag we've retrieved to sleep in so we're not rolling all over] Jimmy: [a look like you know how good my aim is because any excuse to be saucy about anything especially when we're so upset about this whole sleeping situation but trying to downplay it] Janis: ['thank god you're ambidextrous' meant to be taking the piss out of him but it just sounds thirsty so we're loling] Jimmy: [😏 'you'll have to tweet that so the fans know'] Janis: ['the offers to fill in whilst you're injured would probably be a lot'] Jimmy: [😒 because we don't wanna think about that 'won't be a slaggy nurse's outfit left in this shithole once they've heard' because also true] Janis: [likewise 'gross' and shaking our head 'there's nothing sexy about hospital'] Jimmy: [a fed up sigh 'I can't be bothered with this' like it's an option to just not be injured, soz boy] Janis: [squeeze his non-injured hand like I know 'it'll be alright, we'll work it out'] Jimmy: ['can we not just fake going away like we were gonna do at new year's?' probably not boy but it's a nice thought] Janis: ['it'd be easier to actually go away' but a tone that's saying, that's how long it'd need to be, not suggesting it] Jimmy: ['let's do that then' as if that's remotely plausible in any way] Janis: ['are you concussed as well?' and moving our fingers about in front of him like follow but 😏 'cos we don't think he actually is obvs or we wouldn't be joking] Jimmy: [takes her hand and turns it into a 👍 like she's agreeing to his great idea 'wouldn't even have to be for that long' because we know he's not gonna do the 2 weeks off that you're meant to when you dislocate your shoulder because he never does what he's supposed to] Janis: ['where are we going then?' as we lay down ourselves] Jimmy: ['where do you wanna go?'] Janis: ['don't care' because we don't 'what about you?@'] Jimmy: ['what makes you think I care?' because likewise we don't] Janis: ['then just not here it is' turning to face him in our little sleeping bag 'assuming the pain pills don't wear off and you change your mind'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile at the prospect of getting to leave for a bit together even hypothetically tbh 'when they wear off you might change yours' and doing a 😒 af face] Janis: ['this is you being a delight, yeah?' and do a feelsy lean assuming we're sleeping on his good side 'cos makes sense] Jimmy: ['that were me doing an impression of you remembering what a nightmare I were last time we went away' because that skerries domestic when she tried to get him to sleep in a bed we all remember those joys] Janis: ['bit rude' like how dare you insinuated I'm ever grumpy lollolollll 'you'll be less trouble now you're fucked up' but a sad sigh 'cos its not funny though we're trying] Jimmy: [taking her hand again so you can write soz on it playfully but then just properly hold it because we heard that sad sigh and we are really soz in our heart] Janis: [doing the 👌 symbol which is probs hard to follow so then just doing a 💕 like] Jimmy: [doing an irl 🤝 because best friends forever] Janis: [then tucking him in like go to sleep nerd 'it'll be better in the morning'] Jimmy: [goes to say something because it won't be but we're deciding against it so she doesn't sad sigh again and closing our eyes instead] Janis: [gently lean over and kiss both his eyes] Jimmy: [not opening our eyes or anything but 'I really fucking like you' with feeling because he do] Janis: [got to kiss you on the lips with as much feeling 'cos we cannot trust ourselves to say anything rn] Jimmy: [have a moment because it's been a very dramatic night]

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sabine-leo · 6 years ago

Text

Adaptation

Author: @sabine-leo

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston / ofc (You) special guest Benedict Cumberbatch

Wordcount: 4980

Warnings: none. Maybe just watch out for cavity ;)

Summary: Your first novel became a bestseller and will be adapted to the big screen. Slightly out of your comfort zone you try to do your best as a 27 year old writer who is not accustomed to being the centre of attention.

Note: This was a whish from @anchored-in-high-tide for her win in my 1k follower raffle! I do hope I did your idea justice !! Thank you for your trust!!!

Feeling totally out of your comfort zone you stepped into the room anyway. Your book and a notepad tightly held against your chest in which your heart hammered slightly out of beat you took a seat and tried to calm yourself down with a deep breath. This was not your natural place to be. You liked closed rooms, not that you were claustrophobic but you preferred them with less…people. If someone had told you about a good year and a half ago how your life would change in just a month time and at the age of 27 you would have laughed and asked which meds they´d taken… But here you were, in a room full of important people whom had bought the rights to your FIRST published book that had become a phenomenon in weeks. Gladly you´d had the wits to demand to be included in every decision and get a veto on everything regarding the storyline and possible changes. It was not easy to negotiate with them but in the end, they really did want to adept your book for the big screen and said yes to your proposal. You got to work on the script with some very talented writers and actually had a lot of fun doing that. NOW the part started where you were a lot more uncomfortable or better put nervous about.

“Let´s put faces to the characters you envisioned, shall we?”

The casting director said and smiled at you.

Here we go… you thought and took a last calming breath.

In your head it was easy to envision the needed characters but in real life, not so much. You had seen some great actors for different roles and you knew that with cosmetics and wigs there could be done a lot to make sure they fit the bill but you wanted it to feel right. There was just one last role to cast and it was the most significant one to you. The actors you had seen so far did a good job but the spark was missing; The feeling of them getting the essence of the character and being able to add depth to it and not just perfectly saying the words in the script.

The door opened again as you were doodling something onto your notepad

“Hello…” a deep voice resonated through the room.

“…My name is Tom and I would like to audition for the role of Matthew. “

You looked up and…did a double take. A soft chuckle came your way and he smilingly corrected the placement of his glasses. The casting director got her wits back together faster than you and asked.

“Mr. Hiddleston, we are honoured to meet you but you want WHAT?”

Tom grinned and repeated himself. “I want to audition for the role of Matthew.”

Looking around you were the only one who still was starstruck. The other faces were just looking flabbergasted at TOM HIDDLESTON who wanted to AUDITION.

“Frankly put, I think we are not able to meet your normal payroll…” The director said with a little blush on his face. Tom smiled and pointed to an empty chair. “May I?” He asked politely and sat down as he saw a silent nod coming from you.

“I know this is an independent film and a smaller studio but that should not be the problem. I am deeply in love with this book and especially how Matthew is portrait. I´d love to take him on and if I may be frank as well. I´d be willing to co-produce and work some of my contacts to get us what we need to do justice to the book.” Tom looked at you and smiled. God, you wanted to hide behind your notepad as you felt a blush coming up. He met all the things you wanted for Matthew. He was tall, handsome and his eyes could say what words often could not. This man in front of you was able to tell a story with his body language and eyes alone.

NO. WORDS. NEEDED!

You loved the movies he had made so far and had seen him on stage too. Besides his -no doubt- very good looks he had a sharp mind and was well read and eloquent. A deadly combination if you were concerned.

Tom took another breath. “I know you probably have to discuss my second proposal first. But please, let me at least audition and show you what I have prepared.” His charming smile hit you again. Jesus, one could think you were a writer that put all her words on paper and was not able to form a single coherent sentence out loud.

Get a grip! You ordered yourself and cleared your throat.

“I… I´m sorry. Hi, my name is (Y/N)…”

Tom stood to take your outstretched hand.

“I know who you are (Y/N)…you are the Author to this delightful book.”

The both of you shook hands and Tom looked at you as you tried to get your mouth to form more words while your brain was sending out misleading impulses. For one it sent out shock that HE KNEW YOU. Then it sent out a tingle up your arm because of you and him shaking hands. You were pretty sure your brain went haywire inside your skull screaming THAT`S TOM HIDDLESTON!!!

You really needed to get a grip NOW! Telling yourself that he might run any second if you would continue to look dumbfounded at him and somebody else had to play Matthew did the trick.

“Please, it would be my pleasure to hear you speak Matthew´s words.”

Well, that went rather well after the clusterfuck inside your head.

Tom smiled and nodded. He stepped away from the chair and closed his eyes for a second. You could see his shoulders slumping, his posture getting more sunk in and less easy going. He started to pace the room in slow and not forceful small steps, ruffling his hair and looking out a non-existent window. His eyes watered as he gulped and began to talk.

Hearing his voice break and sound so vulnerable alone made you choke up yourself.

“How long do I have to continue to walk the earth? For how much longer will I be my broken, incomplete self? I was promised that the part of my soul I gave up would come back to me…” He sat down and rested his head in his hands. “I am tired of feeling half empty, of needing to try to fill this…void inside my chest.” Abruptly he stood up and the chair fell over. You saw his face changing from sad to angry in a split-second. “I`M DONE YOU HEAR ME!” He yelled, then repeated the same sentence in a low, menacing voice. “I am done….you hear me!”

It was not only you who sat there, staring at Tom as he changed back from Matthew to himself and smiled a little nervous. He picked up the chair and sat down again, awaiting a response. It surprisingly was you that found her voice again first. “Wow, I mean…” You cleared your throat. “…why did you choose THIS scene out of all you could have prepared?” Tom smiled and wet his lips while pushing up his glasses another time. “I picked that scene in particular because It…to me…shows the emotional uproar of Matthew and his feelings in a very short amount of time. He is lonely and sad but also very angry to the core of his being. In this scene he lets it all out in the safeness of a room bereft of people before walking out and playing a role in his own life that he wants everybody to see.”

His words resonated so deeply inside you that you wanted to hug him for getting the essence of who Matthew really was and saying it out loud! But all you got out was “Thank you!”

Tom smiled at you and inclined his head. “No, thank you for writing such an intriguing story.”

The casting director laughed still a little awestruck. There were glances thrown at each other with smiles and enthusiastic nods. “Well, I guess that settles it then. There will be nobody that can top what we have seen just now. I think I do speak for everybody at this table when I say. Welcome on board Mr. Hiddleston!” Toms eyes lit up. “Just Tom, please!”

He seemed genuinely happy to be able to give life to this character.

“As producer of this film…” Josh stood up and held out his hand “…I´d say I would be dumb not to let you co-produce. So, buckle up you are in for a ride!” Tom grinned and shook hands with Josh.

“Let´s meet tomorrow to go over everything you have scheduled so far and get into details.” Tom suggested and they exchanged numbers. You stood, ready to get out of this room and breathe some fresh air after a long day.

“(Y/N)…” Tom said and stopped you with his hand reaching out to touch your arm. You looked into his soft blue eyes and smiled. “…If you´d be willing to let me pick your brain about Matthew over dinner- I´d love to treat you to it. I do have one or two questions…” Your stomach gave a little rumble and you and Tom started to laugh. “I take that as a yes…”

He opened the door and bowed a little. “After you!”

God damn, that charming smile again. Well, you´d just need to think of it as a work meeting like the ones you had had before with the script writers.

An hour later Tom and you sat in a little restaurant he had recommended, not far from the West-End Theatres you loved so dearly. Central London was still busy but inside this restaurant and engulfed in a lively discussion about the characters in your book you were oblivious to it. After overcoming your first shocked state at seeing him you found him very easy to talk to. It was no hardship to keep the conversation flowing, even as it drifted away from Matthew and got a little more personal. Tom asked what had inspired you to write the book, what gave you the idea.

“If I say it came to me in a dream, I would sound so stereotypical…” You laughed and took a sip of your sparkling water. Tom chuckled and shrugged.

“If I order tea after dinner, I am stereotypical too. I don´t think it´s necessarily a bad thing.”

The food was amazing and tasted very good. Tom smiled as he saw you close your eyes at the first taste. “Walking into that room I thought I lost you for a second!” He grinned teasingly.

“Well, have you seen yourself walking into that room? I am a little bookaholic who is not accustomed to meet actors whose work I adored for a long time now.” Tom grinned at your words and took another bite of his meal to hide his own blush after your compliment.

“Plus…” you said “…I am rather out of my comfort zone doing all this.”

Tom tilted his head. “What exactly is your comfort zone then?”

Thinking about it for a moment you answered him.

“My desk where I wrote half of the book you are now co-producing…or that one tree in Regents Park where I wrote the other half…” you laughed. Tom leaned back in his chair.

“Did you sit in the tree while writing or leaned against it? I am just asking because I frequently run through this park and need to know if I need to be aware of you threatening to drop onto me when I don´t do your character justice or if you just stick out your leg and let me trip.” A snorted out laugh escaped you and you clutched your hand over your mouth afterwards. Tom laughed as well and all the tension you might have felt somewhere inside depleted in favour of enjoying a dinner with him, talking about what made him and you tick.

Later, as you lay in bed you couldn´t help but wonder if this day really had happened. Gasping out a laugh you closed your eyes and shook your head. “Some day” you said to yourself before drifting off into your colourful dreamworld.

The next weeks you were busy starting to write your new novel and only kept track of some things in pre-production that needed your attention. It wasn´t until 4 weeks after the casting that you met Tom again as you walked into the first round table meeting to discuss the first week of filming. Starting in 3 days’ time, there were still some things to discuss and you needed to go over some monologue / dialog changes Tom had requested. Tom stood from his chair and pulled back the one next to him. “(Y/N), so good to see you again.” You smiled and dropped your bag onto the table before Tom pulled you in for a friendly hug. Near your ear he said

“I found myself running a lot more through Regents Park lately…but sadly I haven´t been able to find your tree!” Grinning he pulled back and looked into your eyes.

“I might need a map or a big red X on the spot please.” You laughed and sat down with a little blush but before you could answer the door opened and it was like history repeating itself. There you were, doing a double take, staring at a tall and handsome men who smiled at you. Tom leaned in a little. “Am I losing you again?” a deep chuckle before he stood and hugged the man who just had walked in. “Ben, meet (Y/N).” Benedict Cumberbatch held out his hand and grinned as he saw your still stunned face. “Hi (Y/N), I´m Ben. My friend Tom here told me you needed a narrator for some parts of the movie. I loved the book!” You shook hands with Benedict and Tom laughed.

“You loved the book after I practically forced you to read it.”

Ben huffed. “Doesn´t mean I don´t love it!” Ben looked at you. “And to be honest, he really was resilient. I was reading 4 scripts at the time and had no desire to read a book in between. Tom read some parts to me while we were on a press tour together and I was intrigued.” Ben took the seat to your other side and smiled. “So, here I am!”

Yeah, there he was….and there YOU were, sitting in the middle of Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch watching them bicker with each other like one would watch a tennis game. You probably had whiplash by the end of the day.

3 hours later you had not only a dooming whiplash lurking for you around the corner but also a skin that felt to tight for all the feelings 2 of the most beautiful voices on earth made you feel by speaking out words you had written. You blew out a breath and stood.

“Can we catch a short break, please?!” Not awaiting an answer, you walked out into the little garden and took a deep breath. Leaning against a tree you closed your eyes and tried to calm your senses.

Not ready for the “Everything alright (Y/N)?” That hit your system like a wildfire and made goose bumps rise on your arms. The soft touch to your hand shot another jolt through it. Opening your eyes to look into purest blue with a hint of concern in them you mustered a nod.

“Just needed some fresh air….” Tom raised a brow and looked inquiringly at you. “Try again!” He said. Closing your eyes and sliding down the tree trunk you sat in the grass.

“I was not prepared to hear my words coming out of your mouth like that!”

Tom looked confused but sat down next to you with less space you were equipped to handle just now. “Did I get the words wrong?” He asked and continued to look at you. You instantly shook your head. “No! NO! You got them right! Very, very right. It hit me right here!” You put your hand above your heart and looked into his eyes. Tom began to smile. Slowly he took hold of your hand and guided it onto his chest. “Your book hit me right here too, so it is my duty to get the words out in a way that makes you feel them like I felt reading them!” His warm hand captured your hand between his and his chest. You felt his heart beating in a steady rhythm that was soothing and thrilling at the same time. His eyes held yours in a soft but deep gaze before you had to look away, fixing your stare onto your touching hands. Tom smiled to himself and put a wayward strand of hair behind your ear with his fingertips. “Should I mess up for the last pages?” He asked with a little laugh in his voice.

Your gaze shot up and you narrowed your eyes. “Are you trying to mock me?” Tom grinned and held up both his hands which made your hand slide down his chest a little before you retreated it.

“Actually, I have something else on my mind entirely…”

Now it was you looking inquiringly at him but Tom only grinned and stood up, holding out his hands to help you to your feet. “Let´s get back inside…” You took his hands and Tom tugged a little to hard. By the way he grinned it was very much deliberately done as he grabbed you with one arm to steady you after you hit his chest with yours. “Oops…”

You had no control over your reaction to it, you just acted and pinched his side. “Ooops!” You said too and walked back inside for another hour of sensual voice torture! Tom stared after you and grinned. Yes, there was chemistry between the both of you. Very much so! He had not only imagined it after the dinner the both of you had shared some weeks ago.

The rest of the meeting went by with him trying to rill you up with his voice and seemingly accidentally touching your hand, back, leg whenever he got the chance and you throwing him glares and pinching his leg under the table. Ben was trying his best not to grin when he made you lean more towards Tom by grabbing Toms bottle of water. “Sorry. Mines empty!”

Damn them!

In the evening of this day your phone signalled a message.

Tom: Good evening Darling! Just a warning: Voice message incoming. Tom

You: How did you get my number?

Tom: Darling, I am the co-producer *wink*

The next incoming message was the voice message. You hit play and a soft, warm and very sexy voice read a passage of monologue from Matthew where he had written a letter to the missing part of his soul. God, his voice was heavenly. Bolder because of the physical distance between him and you you wrote.

You: Are you trying to torture me?

Tom: Absolutely not! I just wanted your input on how to express that part of the script!

You could not help but visualize his smug grin while he typed that answer. Writing back, you to smiled.

You: Was alright…

Tom: Just alright?! One moment…

4 minutes later another voice message came in. Same text spoken with a little more desperateness in the right spots.

Tom: That better?

You: a little…

Tom: Are you trying to torture me?!

You: Absolutely not! I just wanted to give you input on how to express that part of the script!

Another voice message came in.

“Darling, I think you are paying me back for this afternoon.” His voice got a little deeper.

“I like your feistiness. For now, sleep well…” When you thought his voice could not get any sexier, he said “…be prepared for a one on one training tomorrow! Meet me in Regents Park, Queen Mary´s Rose Garden at 10am…” He had the audacity to chuckle low at the end of his message.

God, you were falling head first into the deep end!!

The next morning you found yourself marvel at the beautiful flowers inside the garden when 2 big hands came around your back to enclose over your eyes.

“Hello Darling!” He said near your ear and you felt his heat radiating from his chest onto your back. Toms hands came to rest on your shoulders and softly turned you into a hug.

“Hey Tom!” You said and smiled up to him with a soft blush reddening your cheeks. Tom only slowly let go of you and took a deep breath.

“You gave me a sleepless night!”

He said with what should have been a stern look but ended in a grin.

“Serves you right for the stunts you pulled on me yesterday!” Tom laughed and shrugged innocently. “I do not know what you are talking about!”

“Well, then I too don´t know what you are implying!” You started to walk before adding.

“You needed private teaching for Matthews letters to the lost part of his soul?”

Tom watched you and said under his breath “I need private teaching in a lot of things where you are concerned!” before saying loud enough for you to hear. “Yes…I do hope you have cleared your schedule for today!” Smiling you walked the gardens and Tom and you eased into a conversation about Matthew and his letters for starters. Somewhere in between Tom had softly taken your hand into his while walking deeper into the vibrant flowers to find a hidden bench that was in the heart of the garden. You could not recall how long the both of you sat on that bench, but it was a while. Your conversation all about work, but your body language was talking about something else entirely. Tom flung one of his long legs behind you, resting it on the bench to tug you in between and against his chest. “Ok?” He asked softly and stroked down one arm to let it come to rest against your belly. You nodded and slowly got comfortable in his arms while he continued the conversation as if nothing personal was happening just now. After a while Tom took a deeper breath and asked.

“Will you be on set for the whole leg of filming?”

You turned your head slightly to be able to look at him.

“I don´t know yet, why?”

Tom smiled a little and said. “I do like your company…” A soft laugh escaped you before you answered. “Well, they way we are sitting on this bench does not allow me to differ with your statement!” Tom chuckled and winked playfully before tugging you even closer against his chest.

The next 3 weeks passed in much the same manner. Tom, whenever he was between filming scenes, found you wherever you where on set (mostly not far from him because it was wonderful to watch him act) to talk to you and share some physical contact. It differed between hugs, closeness in general and holding hands while walking to a different set. The two of you growing close and getting to know each other better and better. The way he brought Matthew to live was phenomenal. He carried the scenes with such ease and deep knowing of the character that you only could watch in awe. Never did he struggle to give the emotional depth needed, he literally poured his heart into this film as you had poured your heart into the book.

The last day of filming started pretty early as you needed to be in a particular street in London. This was the last big scene. The scene where Matthew found the missing part of his soul, the one he had given up a lifetime ago. The frame was set to see Tom walking towards the camera with an intense gaze, the closer he came the more you could see that he was watching something with tears in his eyes, with a sense of understanding that THIS had kept on drawing him closer and closer. His stare made place for a slow spreading smile that lit up his whole face before he stepped out of the shot and towards the part of his soul.

Tom watched the material shot so far and was in a deep discussion with the director as you entered the tent that was set up to watch the screens. “I don´t think that this is the ending this film needs. The book gives away what he has been searching for the whole time…” Tom said and the director considered his words carefully. “I thought it would be better to leave it open for interpretation, but I do get what you are saying. Let´s do an alternate version with your ideas!”

Tom nodded and grinned as he saw you coming closer. “There you are. I need your help!”

He grabbed your hand and tugged you to the make-up section and sat you down in a chair.

“I need you to act as my counterpart. The part I walk towards to.”

You stared at him with wide open eyes. “I can´t act! I am a writer!”

Tom smiled. “Just concentrate on me, look into my eyes the whole time. You know the characters better than anyone. You can do it!”

Before you could say anything else you got prepped and pampered. Half an hour later Tom walked with you onto set. “See this red X? That´s your comfort zone!” He grinned as you shot him a dirty look. “Just stay there and think about her and Matthew finally finding each other again.”

Tom walked back to his spot and concentrated for a moment before nodding to the director. This scene was shot from to sides. Toms and yours. Tom walked towards you with wonder and emotion in his gaze. You could feel your own throat close up as you thought about the characters that you knew so well, how they finally got to be together again. Matthew gave up a part of his soul to keep her alive, his soulmate, only to lose all knowledge of her until their paths crossed again and he would FEEL deep inside himself that she was it!

Tom stood now directly before you. A tear dropped out of his eyes but the smile he gave you was the brightest you have ever seen on a human. A shaking hand touched your cheek while you stared up into his eyes. The breath he took in was trembling. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against yours while your arms came around his waist. Tom opened his eyes and smiled before his head tilted to the side and slowly closed the distance to find your lips with his. The director yelled cut.

Tom took in a sharp breath and looked into your eyes intensely.

“That was brilliant, the both of you did great!” The director said but Tom held up his hand and said

“Give us a moment please!” His eyes never let go of yours. Your hands fisted in his shirt as your whole body tingled because of his gaze, his touch, his nearness.

“Darling, I need to do this again…as me, as Tom!” He breathed and dipped his head again.

Your lips met and the same tingling sensation now started where your lips met and shot like a lightning strike through your system. Toms hand waved itself through your hair to the back of your head. He pressed you closer and your lips parted in a soft gasp. He took it as an invitation and let his tongue slip in to play with yours in a soft tangle of wet strokes and playful teases before he gaspingly broke loose. “I have wanted to do that for weeks!” he rasped and grinned. You started to chuckle and rested your head against his chest to hide your blush. But yeah, you felt the same!!

Weeks later you nervously walked the red carpet at the premier of the movie. Ben had accompanied you for a little part of it as well as the director. Some meters ahead you saw Tom giving an interview. He looked so good in his suit. Your attention on him before a reporter started to bombard you with questions. “It must be wonderful to see your vision come to life on screen! How do you feel? Is this film doing justice to your book?”

Smiling because you finally knew an answer to a question you laughed.

“I am very happy with the result, the director and the producers as well as the whole cast did an amazing job staying true to the book and adapting it without much loss of its essence.”

Tom joined you and gave you a bright smile as you praised the work.

“Let me tell you, without (Y/N) being involved in writing the script we probably would have done a lot worse.” You laughed out loud but rolled your eyes. “He´s to damn modest!”

The interviewer grinned and shot another question at you.

“You have a tip for any aspiring writer out there?”

Thinking for a moment you said.

“Never give up…and put your heart into your work! I poured my heart into this book”

Tom grinned and said while turning you into his arms.

“And I was the one who picked it up!”

Before everybody, every camera, every person who was watching you he tilted you back and gave you a kiss that left no question about who you were to him!

Whispering against your lips he grinned.

“I intend to keep it. Not only Matthew got his happy end…I did too!”

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