#also i dont have a table but my table broke

[meow8303]

Jam incident ♡

Beelzebub x reader🔞

Craving Blueberry Jam at 2 a.m., But You Didn't Expect It to End This Way...

FOOD PLAY < LICKING

Hello guys!

This is my second ever smut!

In another post I've asked what gender do you guys perfer mc to be, so we will be sticking to female!

I'm writing something light! Later on, I might dive into the heavier smut, so I hope you enjoy this.

It's kind of short, so be prepared!

I hope you have fun reading it. ( ´-ω-)

Grrr.

Your stomach growls loudly.

—Ugh...

You’re trying to fall asleep even though you're hungry, but you're also really sleepy.

You were doing your best to ignore both hunger and just sleep, but it looks like your stomach won’t cooperate.

Reluctantly, you get up, eyes still half-closed, and make your way to the kitchen.

It’s already late at night, and you’re too tired to make anything that requires a lot of effort.

So, you pause for a second, thinking about the easiest thing you could whip up right now.

—Aha!

Jam sandwich! The easiest thing you can make and then you can go right back to sleep.

You open the cupboard, hoping there’s still some jam left.

—ha! Got you.

There’s enough jam left! Actually, the jar’s almost full.

—it must be new, huh? I'm surprised Beel hasn’t gotten to it yet. Ahh… time to make the best late-night snack.

Okay, so, bread and jam. You go to open the jar, but it’s shut tight.

Yep, definitely brand new, not even opened yet. You decide to try opening it with a knife.

You rummage through the cutlery drawer and find a butter knife. It’s just perfect! You grab the jar with one hand and try opening it with the other.

Whoosh!

Apparently, the lid was a bit looser than it looked, and it flies across the room.

The jar slips from your hand as you instinctively try to catch it, but you end up hitting it instead.

Causing it to collide with the edge of the counter. It bursts open.

Blueberry jam flies everywhere, including all over you.

—Ahh! This is bad! There goes my food.

You can’t just leave it like this. You’ve gotta clean it up now. So much for sleeping.

What a terrible night.

You grab some paper tissues to clean the jam off the counter first. There’s just so much of it. Just when you thought you were lucky to find a full jar... it turns into misfortune.

Crack.

The door opens.

—Y/N?

It’s Beelzebub.

You look up at him.

—Y/N, are you okay?? What happened??

Beelzebub rushes over. He doesn’t seem to realize it’s just jam.

—Beel! I’m okay. I tried to make a jam sandwich but I accidentally broke the whole jar...

Now you're starting to feel embarrassed about the whole situation.

—But what are you doing here, Beel?

—I came for a midnight snack.

—Y/N, let me help you clean up.

He offers you his hand, and you take it.

—Ahh, thank you, but you don’t have to. It’s my fault. You should go ahead and eat, I’ll clean it up. Don’t mind me.

Lick.

—Huh???

Beelzebub, still holding your hand, now covered in jam, as is the rest of you. Licks your finger.

—Sorry. I couldn’t help myself... you smell so sweet.

he says, still licking your fingers and gently licking off the jam.

—Oh, thank you...

You start getting flustered by his actions, but… you don’t want to stop him.

—Should we clean you first? We shouldn't let that good jam go to waste.

With that he lifts you up bridal style.

—Beel?!

He sets you down on the wooden table.

—If you want me to stop, just tell me.

He grabbed your hand and put it in his mouth, gently sucking your fingers off and swallowing the jam.

—Ngh,, beel.

—This jam is pretty good, you should try it too.

He says with your fingers still in his mouth as he touched your cheek with his other hand.

Taking the jam off your face and putting his fingers close to your mouth.

—Mm...

You take his fingers in your mouth, grabbing his big hand with your own hands.

You dont break eye contact for few seconds.

—Y/N...

He takes his hand away in one Swift motion, saliva string connecting you to his hand.

He gets on top of you, pinning you on the table.

—There's some here too.

He instantly starts licking your neck.

—Ngh~!

Just how much did that jam get on you?!

He goes lower and lower.

—We should make sure we get all the jam, let's check here too.

He says while taking off your pajama top.

—I don't think the jam has gotten that far tho.

You said this even tho you didn't mind him "checking" if there's jam underneath your clothes.

He reveals your bare chest as he grabs your right breast while licking your left.

—Here tastes like jam, I wonder if you taste like that all over.

You were getting aroused by the whole situation, no way he's actually looking for jam anymore, you're not that oblivious.

You felt something solid touching you, he's as excited as much as you.

—Y/N.

—Beel...!

You grab his hair, intertwining your fingers with the soft red hair.

Plod plod.

Someone is awake this late? And its coming here?!

Beelzebub doesnt seem to notice

—Beel! I think someone is coming!

He's too focused he doesn’t seem to notice your worry.

If you're caught like this eveyone will get the wrong idea! Tho the thought of being caught makes you kinda excited.

Step step

Yes the person! No matter do you want to or don't, you shouldn't get found like this.

You muster up all your strength and push his face up to yours, and you kiss him desperately.

He takes it as an invitation and kisses your deeper and passionate.

Lost in the moment he gently grabs the back of your head with one hand, deepening the kiss.

After what feels like an eternity, you part from each other.

Saliva everywhere.

—Ah! There was someone outside!

You tell him, tho it sounds more like you just remembered that youself.

He looks down at you, smiling warmly.

—Looks like the jam is all gone… and I’m already full.

He wasn’t wrong, well, half right. There was still some jam in your hair.

If you hadn’t stopped him, he probably would’ve eaten all of it off… and maybe something else along with it.

He gets off of you and gently pulls you into a sitting position.

—Thank you for the meal, Y/N.

He licks his lips, as if savoring the taste of jam, but the only thing left now is the saliva.

—Good night, Y/N. Thanks to you, I’m sure I’ll sleep great.

That was your line.

He leaves the kitchen, leaving you alone, regretting that you even tried to warn him about the person you thought was outside.

Probably just someone passing by…

There’s no one out there now.

You get up to head back to your room, only to step in something sticky.…Jam?

—Oh shit.

You were way too distracted by Beelzebub to remember the mess still covering the kitchen floor.

Well…Guess no sleep for you tonight.

Though, to be fair… You got something better than that.

[ruvigapo]

I've been saying this for over a year now

But once my adhd decides to behave and im able to get my new computer up and running

It's over for y'all biches 😆

[blooodymoon]

A "RETURN of the Number of PERSONS FLOGGED in the BRITISH NAVY, in each of the Years 1845 and 1846; specifying the Name of the Ship, the Offence, the Sentence and the Number of Lashes Infficted." Parlamentary Paper, Number 661 of Session 1847

So after reading the Post about Jopsons Flogging by @handfuloftime I went down a research rabbit hole because I wanted to see if their exist sufficient & specific enough Data to accuratly compare his punishment and put it in the historical context.

I found this Website, which features the two tables from the Parlamentary Papers and their Source.

(Note: The tables on the website are incomplete and inaccurate in certain places. I compared it from top to bottom to the original source and corrected/added the informations in my table.)

I used that as a basis for my own table, where I also added Averages and Sliders so people can search the Informations!

(Apparently Sliders don't work on Mobil, and I don't know enough about Google Sheets how to fix it :/

If anyone knows or if you find a some kind mistake please let me know.)

This week I visited the University Libary, which has access to the Parlamentary Papers Online, to see if such tables also exist for earlier years but sadly 1845 was the first year where they went into such Specifics.

(I hope to add some of the Years after 1846 to the table, when I can.)

Earlier years only had these Informations per Year:

Total Number of Punishments

Total Number of Lashes

Highest Number of Lashes Inflicted at One Time

Lowest Number of Lashes Inflicted at One Time

This Information for 1839 - 1846 under the Cut.

Also under the Read More are some Graphs, Medians & Averages about Flogging for Drunkenness Alone, seperated by Seamen, Marines, Boys and Everyone!

Hope that someone find this useful/interesting !

Corporal Punishment for Drunkenness Alone

Everyone:

Lashes Sentenced Median: 32,75 (1845: 36 | 1846: 31,4)

Lashes Sentenced Average: 31,07 (1845: 31,13 | 1846: 31,02)

Lashes Inflicted Average: 30,8 (1845: 31,02 | 1846: 30,58)

Seamen:

Lashes Sentenced Median: 36 (1845: 36 | 1846: 36)

Lashes Sentenced Average: 34,37 (1845: 34,62 | 1846: 33,86)

Lashes Inflicted Average: 34,33 (1845: 34,41 | 1846: 33,86)

Marines:

Lashes Sentenced Median: 31,4 (1845: 32 | 1846: 31,4)

Lashes Sentenced Average: 30,8 (1845: 31,09 | 1846: 31,09)

Lashes Inflicted Average: 30,8 (1845: 31,09 | 1846: 30,69)

Boys:

Lashes Sentenced Median: 24 (1845: 24 | 1846: 33)

Lashes Sentenced Average: 26,22 (1845: 24,4 | 1846: 28,5)

Lashes Inflicted Average: 25,33 (1845: 24,4 | 1846: 26,5)

Years

1839:

Number of Punishments: 2,007

Number of Lashes: 59,341

Highest: 60 | Lowest: 3

1840:

Number of Punishments: 2,026

Number of Lashes: 60,302

Highest: 48 | Lowest: 1

1841:

Number of Punishments: 2,066

Number of Lashes: 61,669

Highest: 50 | Lowest: 2

1842:

Number of Punishments: 2,472

Number of Lashes: 71,024

Highest: 100* | Lowest: 1

1843:

Number of Punishments: 2,170

Number of Lashes: 63,985

Highest: 60 | Lowest: 3

1844:

Number of Punishments: 1,411

Number of Lashes: 42,352

Highest: 72+ | Lowest: 6

1845:

Number of Punishments: 1,070

Number of Lashes: 33,511

Highest: 48 | Lowest: 3

1846:

Number of Punishments: 1,077

Number of Lashes: 32,360

Highest: 50* | Lowest: 3

*By sentence of a Court Martial.

+By order of the Commander-in-Chief for theft, in a shop at Chusan, and violence to the natives.

Sources: A "RETURN of the CORPORAL PUNISHMENTS inflicted in the ROYAL NAVY, in each of the Years 1839 to 1843, both inclusive, stating the highest and lowest Number of Lashes at each Time, and the aggregate Number of Lashes in each Year [ ]" Parlamentary Paper, Number 308, of Session 1845 + ABSTRACT of Total Numbers of CORPORAL PUNISHMENTS inflicted in the NAVY, and the Total Number of LASHES Inflicted, in each Year up to the 31st December 1846 [ ]. Parlamentary Paper, Number 661, of Session 1847

[stygiansauce]

MY DAD IS SO CUTE?????????? LOOK WHAT HE JUST SENT ME 😭😭😭😭😭

[cicide76536]

My gift to @tragediegh for Rote Winterfest Gift-exchange !

My beloved @vilyar was a life saviour for lending me his drawing tablet and computer when mine broke and for helping me sketch some of the harder parts ❤️ Thank you

[a9saga]

it's so, so interesting that 20 year kpop veteran kim jaejoong creates rock music with 90s japanese visual kei legends like sugizo, hyde, miyavi, and no one i know will appreciate it because both of these are very niche interests and don't largely overlap in their english speaking fanbases anyway

[inbabylontheywept]

bad dating stories time: the shoe incident

so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.

at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.

he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?

and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.

but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.

i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?

(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)

and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.

i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.

that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.

i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.

anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.

i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.

we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.

he was okay at it.

eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.

soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.

realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:

"i can't get pregnant"

which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.

still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"

and then i was in my car, and i drove away.

if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.

and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.

WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.

we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.

do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.

and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.

then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.

and then they started making out.

i was close enough to hear it.

i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.

so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.

now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.

so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.

about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.

my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.

my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.

they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?

and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.

[officialspec]

UMMM WALL OF TEXT WARNING i finally wrote out my spamtenna thoughts/theory/headcanon/au/whatever. u can read it or not

i never like overriding canon especially with stuff like this because I really like the setups so some things will be vague simply because I know my answer could never replace whatever the dog has planned. that said, I'm turning the tone dial a few notches more dark/grounded because that's where I like to play. I really enjoy @/supernormalart’s headcanons on twt so of course that is a major inspo MOVING ON

Thoughts: spamton is aware of the prophecy but its unclear how thats relevant. hes also desperate to Escape from it, which implies there's something in the prophecy that he doesn't like that involves him directly in Some Way

Something lead him to tenna (we dont know what), something helped him get famous, something made him scared enough to fuck off forever and something turned him into a puppet

The implication is that he made some kind of deal with the devil to Make It Big (via the phone, could be friend or gaster or a secret third thing). those kind of deals are famous for having conditions -> a requirement that, if broken, would break the deal and come with a big price to pay

I've been rotating the idea of why a puppet specifically, and of course the answer is 'ironic punishment': meaning hes being punished for desiring freedom MEANING desiring freedom was the condition that broke the deal MEANING the deal required him to do something he was okay with doing when the deal was made but, at a certain point, didnt want to do/keep doing anymore

It's likely that his instructions were to uphold the prophecy, since he knows about it and desires freedom from it. meaning there's a part of the prophecy he could have helped execute

The first thing that happened after the deal helps him get big is he starts working with tenna (remembering that something lead him to tenna), and he was working with tenna when the deal was broken, at the highest point of their relationship with eachother/when spamton was about to finally tell tenna his secret (which is the deal he made with Who Was Phone)

So signing the contract would have broken the deal/severed the prophecy. So there's a probable chance the prophecy he was in charge of executing involved tenna. of course the only prophecy about tenna that we know about is that he dies/is slashed by a blade

THIS IS WHERE THE YAOI GOGGLES GO ON

Spam starts in the gutter as per usual. Getting tossed around place to place, picking up bad habits, no respect or dignity. Spends a night or 2 in the dungeon on occasion. It's going bad

One of his nights in the dungeon, he makes an escape attempt and gets lost. Eventually he stumbles into the room with the scrap that would eventually become his NEO body - and the shadow crystal

Holding the crystal gives him a sudden insight into his fate, just a hint of a whisper of the prophecy, and it absolutely terrifies him. When he turns around to leave, behind him is a table with a phone sitting on it

The phone rings. Offers him a chance at success and freedom, everything he could ever desire - with conditions. Before they can elaborate, he agrees out of desperation and signs his stupid ass soul away

In my mind his deal with the phone is less ‘magic spell that makes you famous’ and more ‘guy who tells you the lottery numbers in advance’. Just the tiniest peeks into where to put his attention and when, and once it starts working he pretty much trusts the instructions unconditionally

His sponsor leads him around a bit, the phone appearing at crucial intervals, feeding him info to rise in the ranks. Lands him his first ad deal with bigshot motors, and he finally gets a taste of recognition

The rest of the addisons are getting more and more suspicious, a couple of them even corner him and rough him up a bit to try and get him to spill his secret. Of course, his real secret is that he’s a massive fraud, which would completely ruin any mote of credibility he’d managed to scrape together. He manages to escape when another addison breaks up the scene, but he’s left paranoid and scared

The phone operator takes advantage of that fear to steer him into Tenna - spinning a story about a desperate star clinging to fame that he could use both as a step up in the world and a shield against further suspicion, until he’s too big for anyone to fuck with again

His instructions are simple: earn Tenna’s trust, use him to get big, and then kill him. So he cleans himself up, walks onto set, and talks his way into a partnership

Tenna’s a classical businessman and fantastic with people but 10 years behind the times, spam is a fast-talker with no business sense and even worse people skills BUT he knows cyber city better than anyone. His figuring is that he can use tenna as a battering ram to muscle his way up to the top, and tenna’s so desperate to get back on stage he wont mind being used

Most of spam’s credentials are utter bullshit and his web of lies is growing more tangled by the day, but it works! He debuts not long after, and thus begins the infomercial age. The phone helps him keep up the facade, making it seem like he has everything to offer and more, dangling his Secret to Success just out of reach

Its honestly unclear if their partnership is getting Tenna anywhere, but having a partner is more fun than he expected it to be, and for a while they genuinely just enjoy working together (setting aside the usual lying, arguing, avoidance, deflection, scamming, bad influence/enabling etc)

Honestly theyre kind of hilson to me. Am i allowed to say that. Anyway

Tenna’s had experience being broadcast all over the world in his heyday, but he’s a small local studio at heart and a bit of a bumpkin when it comes to cyber city lol. He takes spam’s word for most things about the city simply because thats his only frame of reference, and whenever they leave the studio he kinda just gets led around by the tie BUT remains overconfident in regular interactions. Hes a tv star, of course

Theyre both enjoying themselves so much that after a few initial, paltry murder attempts, spamton almost forgets about his side of the deal - he hasn’t needed the phone for a while, so it slips his mind entirely. Until he gets another call

The operator reminds him he has a job to do, and not to get too attached. Unfortunately its very very much too late for that; he keeps trying to put it off, constantly making excuses for his reluctance, more and more paranoid by the day. He visits the body in the dungeon and prays for freedom, the ringing in his ears never quite going away now

In the meantime tenna is getting impatient. He’s offered everything he has, written and rewritten the contract over and over, and nothing seems to be convincing enough. He wants more, wants spamton to take their partnership seriously, wants his secret, but despite everything it feels like he’s just getting more and more distant. Terrified of losing everything all over again, tenna decides to try one more time, pulling out all the stops

The next time they're off-air, tenna asks spam to meet him in his office for a private engagement. When spamton finally builds up the nerve to show up, he’s presented with the deal of a lifetime - tenna’s winningest smile, a shiny new contract, and two engraved rings. The sharpened crystal shard held behind his back burns in his grip. He can’t bring himself to do it

Always the escape artist, he decides telling tenna about his deal, about the prophecy, might be the only way to get both of them out of this alive. Details can come later, right now he just needs a way out. So he takes the ring, and agrees to sign

The phone rings. Wrong choice. The last thing he sees on his way out of the studio is tenna’s back, turned away from him, reaching for the receiver

Theres a visual in my mind of like, unseen strings catching his limbs while he’s running, and then in some cyber city back alley forcing his hand to reach into his pocket for the crystal shard and tearing his stitches from top to bottom, making space for the dummy to crawl out of his body before the remnants turn to wood shavings or ash and get blown away. I like the idea of his tv time blazer being left over, but im not sure if he would keep it or if its left for tenna to find later. Whatevers worse i guess

Ummmm and then canon follows basically as normal LOL i like keeping things canon-compliant even tho this is 100% made up for my own enjoyment. Do i think this is what actually happened?? Of course not. But it intrigues me which is more important. I HOPE U ENJOYED OR SOMETHING

[moluvies]

yearning ꔛ hange zoe x f!reader

a/n: i seriously cant say y/n anymore without thinking of the tiktok memes please save me . read part two here !!

words: 5.3k

cw: minor injury, confessions, they/them pronouns for hange, she/her pronouns for reader, hange w/ female anatomy, reader has female anatomy, reader is the #1 yearner!!, SMUT!! hange is a freak lowkey (obvi), face sitting, fingering hange, MDNI !!

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You wanted to follow them into the wooded area nearby, but it seemed Commander Erwin knew you weren’t exactly prepared for whatever Hange was up to during these scouting missions. Levi was frequently tasked with following them instead, known for his abilities to keep people from dying but also his annoyance in having to do so.

You stayed back at camp, shoulders slumped where you sat at a nearby picnic table. Commander Erwin was right, obviously. You’d just be a liability if you went with them, but it didn’t stop from making you worry. Hange and Levi were fully capable soldiers. Perhaps the most capable, actually. But being apart from them always made your heart beat faster and your head begin to ache. Despite their technical skills, Hange still always managed to put themselves in danger.

"Chin up, (Y/N)!"

You looked up, finding Petra alongside Oluo with jugs of water in their arms. You simply sighed. It wasn’t a secret to your comrades how much you cared for Hange — not by a long shot. It didn’t make the constant teasing any less annoying, though.

"Your little Hange will be back in no time, dear," Oluo had added, his voice taking on a twinge of teasing that had you rolling your eyes.

"I know that. I'm just... I dont know," you shrugged, "bored."

Petra let out a lighthearted laugh, placing the jug of water onto the table beside you. "Oh, so we bore you now?" She teased.

"It's not like that," you replied with look of embarassment. "You know I enjoy your company. It's just—"

"You'd rather be with Hange," Oluo finished for you, setting his water jug down with a smug grin. "We understand, don't we, Petra?"

Petra nudged him with her elbow but couldn't hide her smile. "Leave her alone, Oluo. Not everyone can be as stoic as you pretend to be."

Oluo scoffed, crossing his arms. "I don't pretend anything. I—" His words cut off as he accidentally bit his tongue, causing both you and Petra to stifle laughter.

The sound of commotion from the edge of camp caught your attention. Rising to your feet, you squinted toward the tree line, heart immediately racing when you spotted the returning group. Levi was in the lead, his expression even more sour than usual. Behind him was Hange, but they weren't walking properly—they were leaning heavily on another scout.

Without thinking, you broke into a run.

"What happened?" you called out, reaching them before anyone else from camp.

Levi clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Four-eyes decided to get too close to a cliff edge. Turns out unstable rock is still unstable, even for scientists."

Hange looked up at you with a bright smile despite the dirty bandage wrapped around their thigh and the various scratches on their face. "It was worth it though! The view from that position let me see exactly how the terrain affects titan movement patterns when—"

"Shut up," Levi cut them off. "Get them to the medical tent," he ordered the scout supporting Hange.

"I can help," you blurted, moving to Hange's other side and slipping their arm around your shoulders. The contact made your pulse race, even under these circumstances.

As you helped Hange toward the medical tent, you couldn't stop the worried questions tumbling from your lips. "How bad is it? Did you break anything? How much blood did you lose? Why weren't you being more careful?"

Hange laughed, their voice still enthusiastic despite their obvious pain. "It's just a flesh wound! Some rocks gave way, I slid about twenty feet down a slope. The cut on my leg is the worst of it."

"That's still serious!" you protested, helping them inside the tent where medical supplies awaited.

Your hands trembled slightly as you eased them onto a cot. Being this close, touching them, supporting their weight—it was both heaven and torture knowing it came at the cost of their injury.

"Really, (Y/N), I'm fine," Hange insisted as you and the other scout helped them onto a cot. "I've had much worse. Remember that time with the experimental trap and I—"

"I remember," you cut them off, not wanting to relive that particular memory. "That doesn't make this okay."

Levi appeared at the tent entrance, arms crossed. "The bandage needs changing. It's filthy, like everything else about you," he said pointedly towards Hange.

Despite his harsh words, Levi moved efficiently around the tent, gathering clean bandages and antiseptic. You helped Hange remove their gear and boots while they continued rambling excitedly about their findings, seemingly oblivious to both their injury and your distress.

"You should have seen it, (Y/N)! The formation of the ravine suggests that titans might be using these natural passages to travel undetected! If we map them all, we could potentially predict—"

"Hold still," you murmured, gently rolling up their pant leg to reveal the bloodied bandage. Your fingers brushed against their skin, and you hoped they wouldn't notice the way your hands shook.

When you unwrapped it, you couldn't help but gasp at the jagged gash that ran along their thigh. It wasn't life-threatening, but it was deep and angry-looking.

"See? Just a scratch," Hange said dismissively, then winced when Levi approached with the antiseptic.

"Some scratch," Levi muttered. "Hold them still," he instructed you.

You placed your hands on Hange's shoulders, hyper-aware of the warmth radiating through their shirt. They smelled like earth and sweat and blood, and still, somehow, it made your heart race. Hange's face contorted in pain as Levi cleaned the wound, and you found yourself wishing you could take their pain away.

Their eyes met yours, and they tried to mask their discomfort with a smile. "This is nothing compared to what I'm going to discover with this new information," they said through gritted teeth. "The commander will be pleased once I explain my theory about—"

"The commander," Levi interrupted, "will be pleased if you return with all your limbs attached. Which almost wasn't the case today."

Your grip on Hange's shoulders tightened involuntarily. "Please be more careful next time," you whispered, your voice betraying far more emotion than you intended. "I know your research is important, but..."

Hange reached up, placing their hand over yours. The casual touch sent electricity through your veins. Their eyes softened behind their glasses, and for a moment, the manic scientist facade fell away. "I know. I'll try to be more careful."

"No, you won't," Levi said flatly as he finished bandaging the wound. "But next time, maybe we'll let (Y/N) come along. She can't possibly do a worse job of keeping you alive than I did."

Your eyes widened in surprise. Was that Levi's way of complimenting you? Even Levi may have noticed your devotion to Hange, much to your embarassment.

"That's a wonderful idea!" Hange exclaimed, suddenly reinvigorated. Their hand was still on yours, and they gave it a squeeze that made your heart flutter embarrassingly. "Next time you can come with us, (Y/N)! I could use an assistant who actually cares about my research."

The thought of being alone with Hange in the field made your stomach do somersaults. You quickly looked away, certain your face betrayed every emotion you were trying to hide.

Levi scoffed as he packed away the medical supplies. "I didn't say anything about being an assistant to your suicidal experiments, Four-eyes. Just someone to make sure you don't break your neck."

Despite his harsh words, Levi had taken obvious care with the bandaging. He might act annoyed, but you knew he cared for Hange—just not in the same breathless, aching way you did.

"There," Levi said, straightening up. "Try not to reopen it with your constant fidgeting." He turned to leave but paused at the tent entrance. "And (Y/N), make sure they actually rest. Tie them down if you have to."

After he left, Hange chuckled, then winced again at the movement. "He's such a mother hen under all that scowling."

You sat down on the edge of the cot, closer than was strictly necessary. With the immediate crisis past, your body finally remembered how to breathe normally. "You really scared me today," you admitted softly.

Hange's smile faded into something more serious, more genuine, the slight quirk of their lips remained. Like they were genuinely very sorry for worrying you. "I'm sorry about that. But you know how important this research is. Every bit of information could save lives."

"I know," you sighed, finding the courage to meet their gaze. "Just... try to remember that your life is important too. To the regiment." You bit your lower lip, heart pounding in your ears before adding, "To me."

The words hung between you, more revealing than you'd intended. You looked down quickly, studying the threadbare blanket, terrified of what you might see in their eyes.

Hange was technically your superior, but still someone you had trained with. Their passion for knowledge about the titans was always intriguing to you, their approach to leading being much different from other section commanders in the regiment. Hange's intelligence was always really attractive to you, causing you to admire them since you met them. Your admiration was always from afar, though, at least until graduation from the cadet corps and when you began serving in a squad under their command.

However, despite everyone in your proximity being able to see how attached and borderline obsessed with Hange you were, Hange never said a word about it. You were unsure if they saw what everyone else saw.

Hange was quiet for a moment—an unusual state for them. "I'll keep that in mind," they said, voice uncharacteristically soft.

When you dared to look up, their expression had changed to something you couldn't quite read—something warm and focused entirely on you instead of titans or experiments. "And next time, you'll be right there with me. I promise it'll be exciting!"

You couldn't help but smile, despite knowing that "exciting" in Hange's vocabulary usually meant "dangerous." But as you looked at their eager expression, bright eyes shining with passion despite their injury, you knew you'd follow them anywhere—cliff edges and all.

"I'll hold you to that," you said. "Now get some rest before Levi comes back and really does tie you down."

"Stay," Hange said suddenly, making your body freeze momentarily. "I'm not going to be able to sleep anyway."

It didn't take much convincing, obviously. With the most brief hint of hesitation, you nod, heart racing rapidly in your chest. "Okay, I'll stay as long as you need."

It was pathetic, you thought. Sometimes you hated how much it showed when it came to your interactions with Hange, how much your devotion and attachment was present in your every word towards them.

"It's just nice to have someone who listens to my rambling without telling me to shut up every 2 seconds," Hange says with a fond smile, adjusting their glasses momentarily as they stared off at the medical supplies in the room.

"Oh, come on," you laugh, feeling your heart flutter at even the smallest amount of praise. "I tell you to shut up plenty."

"Only when you're worried," Hange countered, turning to look at you. "Which is all the time with you."

Their words made your breath catch and a flush creep up your neck. "I'm... I just... It's not really like that," you stuttered out, the implication that you worried all the time seemed vague and wasn't necessarily accurate to your character. The worrying was specifically reserved for Hange. Everyone knew that. You just weren't sure if Hange did.

"I only really worry about you, if I'm honest," you finally said quietly.

"Am I that reckless?" Hange asked sarcastically with a grin, obviously teasing you. After a beat of silence, they sigh. "I know. Moblit and Levi have been telling me for months about a soldier who's seemed attached to me at the hip, but I guess I was too preoccupied to realize who he was even talking about. Until now, at least."

You hum, not trusting yourself to speak. The confirmation that not only Levi and Moblit knew, but now Hange was beginning to understand made your heart race to the point you might've felt a bit dizzy. "I'm sorry," you say finally. "I don't mean to smother you or anything."

"Oh, not at all!" Hange assured you, waving their hands around, dismissing any insecurities you may have had a moment ago. "I actually find it rather endearing."

You genuinely were at a loss for words, still not trusting yourself to formulate a proper response that didn't involve stuttering.

Hange shifted on the cot, wincing slightly as they adjusted their injured leg, but their eyes never left your side profile. There was something different in their gaze now—a focused intensity that was usually reserved for their research.

"You know," Hange continued, their voice dropping to a softer tone, "for someone who notices everything about titans, I've been remarkably oblivious about what's been right in front of me."

You still weren't sure how to respond. You knew you probably looked or seemed ridiculous now. Just sitting there with your mouth closed, heart racing and your foot nervously tapping on the ground.

"Hange," you started. "I'm really sorry."

"For what?" They asked, confidence in their tone (as there usually was) and a pleased smile on their face. "I may be a bit slow on these matters," they admitted with a slight chuckle, "but I'm not completely hopeless The way you look at me sometimes... it's the same way I look at a breakthrough in my research."

The statement was so distinctively Hange that you had to smile, a bit of the tension leaving your shoulders. Hange said your name, making you look towards them. Their smile was warm on their face, eyebrows twisted up in something that may have been pity. Or that's just what you told yourself.

Hange's hand came up and gently cupped your cheek, their thumb swiping along your cheekbone tenderly. The touch made your breath hitch, but the kind smile on their face eased a lot of the nervousness you held moments ago.

"I'm sorry, for not realizing," Hange stated. "It must have been hard."

You shook your head, the gesture causing Hange's hand to drop from your face. "It wasn't, just..." you hesitated, unsure where the conversation was even going. Hange wasn't normally difficult to read, but with matters of the heart maybe you were also a bit ignorant. "Just being near you made me happy," you finally said, your voice shaky and soft.

Hange said nothing for a second before turning their body more towards you, their fingers coming up to brush some hair out of your face. The gesture was intimate, but most of all gentle. Gentle with your feelings but also of you in general.

"For what it's worth, every time I'm with you I'm happy, too," Hange said. "What that says about me, I never knew," their fingers pushed hair behind your ear, staying there motionless for a moment. "Until now."

You hummed, even you not oblivious to the tension accumulating here. The way Hange smiled at you, the way your gaze kept dropping to their lips, and the way Hange seemed to encourage it with their expression. None of it passed you by, but it didn't make you feel any less nervous.

"May I?" Hange whispered, gaze dropping to your lips.

Unable to find your voice, you simply nodded.

The first press of their lips against yours was gentle, questioning. Your eyes fluttered closed as you leaned into the kiss, years of longing finally finding release. Hange's hand slid from your cheek to the back of your neck, drawing you closer as the kiss deepened.

You felt pathetic when an involuntary whimper left your lips against theirs. Until you felt the grin forming on their lips, which made you feel more at ease. Hange tilted their head slightly, nose brushing against yours as their tongue found your mouth.

You felt completely under their control, completely theirs. When Hange's hand met the small of your back, you shivered, but then pulled away, breathless and dizzy with the same pounding in your chest.

"We shouldn't—your leg—"

"Don't care," Hange murmured against your lips, already leaned in again, their voice taking on that familiar stubborn tone that both frustrated and endeared them to you.

Their hands tangled in your hair as they pulled you back into the kiss, more insistent this time. You could feel their smile against your lips, feel the way their breath hitched when you tentatively placed your hands on their shoulders, fingers digging slightly into the fabric of their shirt.

You melted into their touch, years of silent longing pouring into each caress. Hange kissed with the same enthusiasm they approached everything else—thoroughly, passionately, with complete abandon. Their tongue traced the seam of your lips, requesting entry that you eagerly granted.

"I've wanted this," you confessed against their mouth, "for a really long time."

Hange hummed in response, one hand sliding down to your waist to pull you closer on the narrow cot. "How long?" they asked, breaking the kiss to trail their lips along your jawline.

"Since training," you admitted, tilting your head to grant them better access. Your breath caught when their teeth grazed the sensitive skin below your ear.

"That long?" Hange pulled back slightly, looking genuinely surprised. Their glasses had fogged slightly, and you couldn't help but smile at the sight. "I'm even more oblivious than I thought."

You reached up to remove their glasses, folding them carefully and placing them aside. Without the barrier, their eyes seemed even more intense, more vulnerable. "I didn't mind," you said, pressing your lips against theirs once more.

Soon, you found yourself kissing Hange more desperately, but not as pushy as someone else might've been. Instead, you gently eased them onto the cot, their head meeting the pillow.

"You're so pretty, Hange," you said, your expression carrying the weight of the words you spoke. And they were. Their brown hair, cut choppy and usually messy in a way that you found endearing and Levi found revolting, was now splayed across the light fabric of the pillowcase. Their eyes slightly hooded and lips parted. "So pretty," you repeated more to yourself, leaning down and kissing at their jawline.

"Can I touch you?" You ask, your body hovering above theirs and your hand carefully placed on their abdomen, making sure you put no pressure on their injured leg.

"What kind of question is that?" Hange joked, but still, they grabbed your hand, placing it where they wanted it against their breast. "Don't hold back. I know you're a shy one but don't let that stop you," they said with a smile.

Your heart raced furiously just at the contact of your hand on their breast. "But, your leg..." you started.

"Will be fine. Just touch me, I really could use this anyway," Hange said, grinning. "Especially from you," they added, their hand caressing the top of your head.

You nodded with a grunt of confirmation, your head dipping again to capture their lips. Your hands met the buttons of their shirt, popping them open as quick as you could. Once the shirt was opened, you moved your mouth to kiss at their neck and then collarbone, noting the way Hange gasped out when your hands touched their waist.

Your hands trailed upwards to dip beneath the fabric of their bra, feeling the soft flesh of their breasts and the hardening of their nipples. The moment your skin met theirs, Hange arched into your touch with a quiet moan, their fingers tangling in your hair to keep you close.

"Fuck," they sighed.

Your shyness warred with the hunger coiling in your belly, but the way they looked at you—like you were the only thing that mattered—made you bold. You dipped your head, taking one of their nipples into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the stiff peak before sucking gently.

"You're so good at that," Hange whimpered, body trembling beneath you at the contact that was so foreign to them until now.

Encouraged, you switched to the other nipple, lavishing it with the same attention while your hand slid down their stomach, fingers tracing the waistband of their pants. You hesitated only for a second before slipping beneath, finding the wet heat between their thighs through the fabric of their underwear. You were careful to not put any pressure on their hurt leg, continuing to lap at their nipple as they looked down at you.

"You're really wet," you breathed in admiration, your fingers touching and feeling outside of their underwear.

Hange bucked their hips impatiently.

"Please," they whined, their voice thick with need.

You exhaled shakily, finally pushing their panties to the side and letting your fingers touch their bare heat. The moment you touched their cunt, you felt how wet they were, how ready. Your fingers slid through their slick folds, feeling all the moisture that you caused physically evident.

"Hange," you said, your gaze looking down at them with a soft expression, one that expressed care and fondness.

Hange's hand met your forearm, obviously they were holding on by a thread in their restraint.

Getting the hint, you pressed your fingers against their clit, instantly hearing the sharp intake of breath it caused. You bit your lip, eyes locked with Hange's face, desperate to see their reactions to your touch.

You rub tight circles on their clit, relishing in the way Hange gasped, the way their thighs trembled.

Then, your fingers dipped lower. You started with one, pushing it into the core of their pussy. "God," Hange gasped, their grip on your forearm tightening enough to hurt but not enough to make you care. You then pushed another in, seeing the way Hange's lips parted as you did so.

“That’s it,” Hange panted, their thighs trembling around your wrist. “Just like that—fuck—don’t stop—”

You didn’t. You kept your pace relentless, watching their face twist in pleasure, their lips parted in silent moans. Their cunt was dripping now, your fingers sliding in and out with ease, each thrust drawing another breathy whimper from their lips.

Your thumb circled their clit, rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves in time with the push and pull of your fingers. The wet sounds of your fingers pumping in and out of their needy pussy filled the tent, along with Hange's increasingly desperate moans and whimpers.

Your fingers delved deeper, sinking knuckle-deep into their tight heat. Hange moaned long and low, their hips undulating. "Oh fuck," their hand fisted in your hair as they pulled you into a messy kiss, all tongue and teeth and desperation.

You fingered them with clumsy fervor, pouring all your pent-up longing into each thrust. Hange met each pump of your wrist with a roll of their hips, fucking themselves on your hand.

"That's it, baby..." Hange panted against your lips, "fuck me with your fingers...wanna cum all over your hand..."

The filthy words falling from their lips only heightened your own need, but didn't stop the way your heart pounded and your face warmed in embarassment. It was a given that Hange of all people would talk like that during, well, this, but it still made your head short-circuit momentarily. You could feel your panties growing damp, your clit throbbing in time with the frantic hammer of your heart. But right now, your focus was on Hange, on bringing them pleasure.

You curved your fingers just so, rubbing insistently over that special spot inside. Hange cried out, their pussy clamping down like a vice. "I'm coming, shit!" Their body went rigid, then shook with the force of their orgasm.

Watching Hange come undone by your touch was the most erotic thing you'd ever seen. Their face was flushed, mouth open in a silent scream of ecstasy. You felt a rush of feminine pride and desire seeing the effect you had on them.

Finally, Hange collapsed back onto the cot, chest heaving. You slowly withdrew your fingers from their fluttering heat, bringing them to your mouth. Tasting Hange's essence for the first time. The flavor was salty and sweet, and you knew you wanted to spend a lifetime learning the taste of their skin.

Hange watched you through hooded eyes as you licked your fingers clean, their kiss-swollen lips curling into a satisfied grin. "I knew you'd be good at that," they murmured, reaching up to caress your cheek.

"What makes you say that?" You ask with a nervous laugh.

"If I say it, I'll be outed as a creep," Hange said ominously, making you laugh sincerely this time. You leaned down and kissed them tenderly, wanting to show them that your affection didn't come from just attraction and lust but because you've spent years admiring them.

"Now," Hange smiled, their hands wandering down your sides until they met your ass through your pants, "I want to taste you," they murmured, their voice rough with desire but the smile on their face remained. "I want to bury my face in your pussy and eat you out until you scream."

Your cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red, arousal and nerves warring within you. "Oh god, Hange..." you laughed nervously, but it didn't stop the way your thighs trembled slightly. The idea of having their mouth on you, their tongue delving into your most intimate places...it was almost too much to comprehend.

"Please..." Hange pleaded with your name, fingers finding the button of your pants. "Let me taste you. Sit on my face," they said.

"What?" You nearly stuttered, eyes widened. "Hange, I can't-"

"Please," they repeated. "I can't really do it any other way," they added with a grin that showed you just how serious they were, "what with my hurt leg and all."

"Hange, what if—what if I hurt you more?"

They chuckled. "The only thing that’ll hurt is if you don’t let me eat you out right fucking now."

You bit your lip, the position that they suggested seeming dirty and not traditional to what you viewed as "normal" sex. But you nodded, understanding Hange's perspective and also the way your cunt ached beaneath your clothes.

Finally, you nodded, sitting up as Hange helped you slide your pants off. Now clad in just your underwear, Hange smiled at you. "Don't be nervous," they said, fingers already hooked at the hem of your underwear. "You're beautiful."

Soon, your underwear was removed, revealing the aching wetness of your pussy all in full view of Hange's eager gaze. Hange's hands gripped your ass, encouraging you to shift until you hovered over their face. You could feel their breath, hot and heavy, fanning over your dripping sex. Your heart pounded, but the ache between your legs was impossible to ignore.

Biting your lip, you slowly lowered yourself, straddling Hange's face. You let out a shocked gasp as you felt their mouth press against your wet pussy, their nose nestling into your mound. Hange groaned, their hands kneading the globes of your ass.

Hange didn't waste a second before diving in, their tongue delving between your swollen lips to lap at your dripping folds.

"Oh god, Hange!" you cried out, your hips jerking in surprise at the sudden, intense sensation. Their tongue explored your most intimate places, stroking and probing, tracing the shape of your slit. You could feel your arousal flooding out, coating Hange's chin and cheeks.

Hange groaned in approval, the vibrations of their voice adding a new layer of sensation. Their hands tightened on your ass, pulling you harder against their face. You knew they were injured, but right now all they cared about was the pleasure they were giving you.

You could feel their tongue circling your clit, flicking over the sensitive nub. Your head fell back and you moaned softly, too lost in sensation to feel shy anymore. You rolled your hips faster, fucking yourself on their face with abandon.

You moaned, fingers tangling in their hair as they devoured you, their nose pressing against your clit while their tongue fucked into you. The sounds were obscene—wet, sloppy, filthy—and your face burned at the realization that anyone outside the tent could probably hear.

You whimpered, rocking your hips against their mouth as they lapped at your dripping pussy. Their tongue plunged inside you, fucking you deep before withdrawing to tease your swollen clit again.

“H-Hange—” you gasped, hips jerking forward as their tongue curled inside you. “You—you feel so good—”

They groaned against your cunt, the vibration making you cry out. Their hands gripped your ass harder, pulling you down onto their mouth as they sucked your clit between their lips, tongue flicking rapidly.

You couldn’t stop yourself—your hips rolled shamelessly, grinding against their mouth as pleasure coiled tight in your belly. Hange moaned like they were the one being pleasured, their tongue working faster, their lips sucking harder—

And then you broke.

A strangled cry tore from your throat as you came, your pussy clenching around nothing, your thighs shaking as Hange lapped up every drop of your release. They didn’t stop until you were squirming from oversensitivity, your legs too weak to hold yourself up.

Slowly, you pushed yourself up, your body still thrumming with lingering pleasure. "We should… probably get dressed," you murmured, cheeks heating as you glanced at Hange’s disheveled state. Their hair was a wild mess, their shirt unbuttoned, and their pants still pushed down just enough to expose the bandage on their thigh.

Hange grinned, lazy and satisfied. "Mmm, shame. I was enjoying the view."

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t suppress your smile as you reached for your discarded clothes. Hange watched you with a lazy, satisfied smile as you pulled your pants back up, your fingers fumbling slightly with the fastenings.

"You’re adorable," they stated, their voice still rough. You shook your head with a big smile on your face.

As you pulled your shirt back on, you glanced over at Hange, who was struggling to sit up without aggravating their injury.

"Here, let me," you said softly, moving to help them.

You carefully adjusted their pants, smoothing the fabric over their hips before gently tugging them back into place. Then, you reached for their hair, combing your fingers through the tangled brown strands, trying to tame some of the chaos. Hange sighed contentedly, leaning into your touch like a cat.

"You’re good at this," they murmured.

You huffed a quiet laugh. "At fixing your hair?"

"At taking care of me," they corrected, their voice softer than usual.

Your hands stilled for a moment, heart swelling in your chest. "I… like taking care of you," you admitted, barely above a whisper.

Your hands lingered in their hair, your heart suddenly pounding for an entirely different reason. Now that the heat of the moment had passed, the weight of what just happened settled over you.

"...I really like you, Hange," you admitted softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "Like, really like you."

Hange’s expression softened, their usual manic energy replaced by something quieter, warmer. They reached up, cupping your cheek.

"I know," they teased with a smile, laughing when you rolled your eyes. "I like you ,too. More than I thought I did, I think."

Your heart raced. You didn't even know where to go from here, but when Hange's hand met yours it put your mind at ease.

Then, from outside the tent, Levi’s voice cut through the moment like a knife. "(Y/N)!" Your head whipped around to where he was calling, seeing his short silhouette. "If you two are done defiling medical supplies, Erwin wants a debrief."

"Okay!" You called back, then turned to Hange.

"I'll, uh, check on you later, okay?" You said, turning to leave.

Hange nodded, stretching their arms with a sigh as their fingers ran through your hair once. "Levi definitely heard, by the way."

[botanyshitposts]

agricultural engineer at my work grew up on a farm in a time when being a farmer also meant being a carpenter (his words) and a couple days ago a piece of stupidly crucial wood equipment broke in our lab and i helped him build a new one in like 2 hours thats actually very sturdy and looks like it was actually done right on the first try because it was and i realized how incredibly powerful of a skill it is to be able to make like, a competent set of shelves, a piece of handmade equipment to specifications, etc and be able to at least have an idea of how to make bigger things and i cannot stop thinking about it now. like he was telling me about how when he was in college it was required for engineering majors to learn how to make the stuff they were designing so he had to take proper woodworking and metalworking classes too and they dont do that as much anymore. and how he has relatives that run a woodshop and build like tables and standing clocks and stuff. imagine somebody asking you for a table or clock and you can just make it and it looks nice and works well for a long time and you can fix it if it breaks. maybe im just gen z but whoa

[ilovewomenfr]

just take your shit and go

click before reading

ex!abby, bottom!reader

men dni!!!! NSFW

cw: pretty vanilla, fingering (r!receiving), oral (r!receiving), praise kink, make up sex, idk what else

a/n: yall i thought i would be done this on tuesday. ive been so busy this week w work and life ive barely had time to write. this one’s a bit short but i had to get this idea down. i might improve it some time in the future. not proofreading and i kind of dont like it but thats ok. also requests are open as always. AND THANK YOU FOR SM SUPPORT ON YOU ARE SUCH A NERD! I GENUINELY WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT. xx.

you and your ex broke up two weeks ago, a huge fight blew up between the two of you which is why abby is at the door of your apartment, backpack slung over her shoulder, to collect the rest of her things. when you answer the door, you see abby’s gaze rake over your body.

“seriously abs?” you scoff at her, looking down at your abby’s baggy t-shirt, “do i get my shirt back?” she asks as she rolls her eyes at you, gesturing to the band tee. “oh. uh. yeah. i guess” you respond in a quiet tone.

“do you want a drink or something?” you offer and abby shakes her head, her blonde braid moving along with. the braid she would only take out at home when she was with you. the braid you used to tug on when she was drunk off your pussy to see her half-lidded blue eyes. you lick your bottom lip at the thought before shaking it away.

“are you gonna let me come in?” abby asks in a slightly annoyed tone. you get out of the doorway and allow her to come into the apartment. “most of your stuff is on the couch,” you mumble as you point over to the piles of things you threw onto the couch in a blind rage the night she left.

“aw how sweet of you to put everything on the couch for me.” abby says sarcastically, resulting in an eye roll from you. “just take your shit and go.” you grab a couple boxes and put them on the coffee table. you watch as she starts packing away her clothes into the boxes, standing awkwardly. “so this is it then?” you ask,

“what do you mean?”

“all it took was a fight.”

abby walks over to you, crossing her arms and resting her weight on her hip, “you were the one who told me to get out and never talk to you again, if i remember correctly.”

“because i was mad. i didnt actually expect you to go.” you look up to her eyes, trying to find any trace of resentment, but you find none. instead you still find love, “why are you looking at me like that?” she puts her hands on your waist, instinctively your own arms wrap around her neck. “im not looking at you like anything.”

“you are.” you play with her braid, “you’re looking at me like you still care.” she leans in and kisses you, catching you by surprise. the kiss is full of longing and desire. the way she holds you makes you feel as though a fire is stirring within you. she pulls away and sighs, walking back to the couch and sitting down.

“youre so confusing. i mean you tell me to go then dont want me to go? then you dont even text me for two weeks and when you finally do its because you want my stuff out of the apartment.” you nod, knowing you’re in the wrong here. “but i still care about you y/n.” abby leans back on the couch, practically beckoning you to come and sit on her lap.

you make your way over to the couch, sitting in silence as the both of you look at each other, tension growing in the air. “im sorry. i shouldn’t have told you to go.” you apologize, breaking the silence. “i shouldn’t have left.” her voice is softer than before, her hand find its way to your knee and her thumb brushes soothingly along your skin. the apology hangs over the two of you, and once again your eyes meet. abby’s eyes have a look of desire in them, one you know all too well. that’s all it takes for you to climb over and straddle her.

her hands find your hips immediately, “i’ve missed you, ya know.” you say gently, “prove it.” your hands hold her face and you kiss her again, sensually and slowly. abby’s hands run up your back to your hair trying to deepen the kiss. you part you lips and your tongue meets hers. you almost moan at the familiar taste, but you pull away instead, “does that prove it?” she lowers you onto the couch so you’re below her, “haven’t proved it quite yet.” she murmurs as she captures your lips once more. her hands slide up under your shirt as your tongues dance together, palming and squeezing your breasts, the simple action resulting in arousal shooting down to your core. she captures your moans with her mouth, before planting kisses down your neck, suckling the sweet skin.

moments later both your clothes are on the floor as abby kisses your inner thighs, “abs please” you beg, “i need you.” she looks up at you, “mm look at you begging for me, so needy, huh?” she goes back to sucking and kissing your thighs and you push her head towards your soaked pussy, “abbyyyy please.” you beg, “hm? what do you need pretty girl? need me to eat your pussy?” she nudges your clit with her nose eliciting a needy whine from you. “fuck, just eat me out already! please!” your begs are desperate now, your aching cunt waiting for attention. she pulls your legs over her shoulders and laps your slick, the sensation drawing a shiver from you. your hands clutch her hair as she begins sucking your clit, “fuck abby yeah” the moan is involuntary and in response you feel the vibration of her own.

youre a complete mess under her by the time the knot in your stomach snaps, your release dripping out of you pussy and onto your thighs. abby just keeps going, lewd sounds leaving you and echoing around your living room. she slips her fingers into you and curls them, your back arches as she repeatedly hits your g-spot, “so fuckin pretty when you’re falling apart baby” she murmurs softly. she uses her thumb on your clit and it’s like you’re on top of the world, your cries are becoming pornographic at this point and it’s just egging her on, “yeah, you like my fingers filling you dont you?” she nips your hip, “mmhh yeahhh. fuck baby ‘m gonna cum!” she keeps hitting your g-spot and the pressure building up inside of you reaches its peak, you feel your legs shaking as you cum on her fingers, “youre doing so good for me baby.” she lets you ride out your high on her before sliding her fingers out, “fuck i missed you so much abby” you say, she kisses you, “i missed you too”

tags: @jamiesturniolo

[caladriusposts]

people in my dr ! Pt.1

⋆｡°Ochako Uraraka (from someone who’s both her best friend and affiliated with her romantically)

⭑.ᐟ her cheeks and knuckles are naturally blushed giving her such a soft look especially with her brown eyes (they’re hazelnut brown with hazel highlights btw). you can she's blushing when her nose,ears and neck flush too and something I noticed that under her eyes also gets red and it makes it look like she's crying got so worried the first time that happened especially when she started floating away THE WINDOW WAS OPEN AND SHE ALMOST FLOATED OUT OF IT.

⭑.ᐟher hair floats and it looks like she has horns when she’s bashful it’s SO SO ADORABLE she always tries to tame it but ends up ruffling it and its even a bigger mess.when her hair got longer her ends started to curl up and some even started making heart shapes i was WEAK seeing that (and figured i had to stop her from floating out another window)

It mostly happens when she’s confessing something or says something without thinking and she realizes what she said it’s fun to wait until she covers her mouth and hides her face in her hands its soo ♡ she looks like a chipmunk

⭑.ᐟ Has a closed eyed smile and jumps a little when she gets what she wants/wins the argument AND DONT GET ME STARTED AT HOW SWEET SHE IS WHEN SHE GETS HER FAVORITE FOOD literally perks up and her eyes visibly shine .

Sometimes when she gets too happy she grips my shoulders and shakes me and starts jumping. learned the only was to stop is by jumping with her in circles but she has a tendency to step on people's feet HELP

⭑.ᐟ when she drops stuff when her quirk she puffs her cheeks or purses her lips making a fish like sound, or more like a bubble?? i cant explain it well but its so cute and sometimes she goes "bonk" but it sounds more of a "bawn" cause its in one go / a mutter her breath

She also separates her hands slowly when saying it i really hope you guys are getting the vision cause it's such a quirk of hers,she says "boom" if she's teamed up with Kats cause they have this move where she floats stuff,drops them and before they hit the ground he uses his quirk

⭑.ᐟ Her favorite hobby is jumping on me whenever i am doing something and calling me a wuss if i drop us,so far i slammed into a table,my desk,the fridge and broke houndog's mug.all this trouble cause she likes how my wings wrap themselves around her in panic (besides her loving to keep me on my toes) SHE COULD JUST ASK BUT NOOO

She gotta accept that I am old and can't keep up with that my shoulder is screaming from how heavy her boots are (whatever my girl wants she gets)

⭑.ᐟ one time she was staring and playing around with my fangs and poked herself when she pressed her thumb against them then blamed me for it,i tried to bite her finger forreal after that but i got launched off the couch.SHE'S SO MEAN.

she also pushes my cheeks together when i say something dumb or lightly taps my face twice then squeezes while looking so disappointed,I tried to flip her when she did that once but l ended up pinned down again WHEN WILL I GET MY JUSTICE MY FACE ALWAYS HURTS AFTER HER PINCHES

⭑.ᐟ she has naturally dark eyelashes looks like she has mascara on besides her lower lashes have a brownish tint ITS SO CUTE AND HER BEOWN EYELINER FOR WORK MAKES HER LOOK SO AUGHHH IT FITS HER SM

⭑.ᐟ Her chubby cheeks give her such a baby face. her and izuku have such squeezable faces i genuinely get cuteness aggression if i stared at them too long i bit their cheeks far too many times.

As doe faced as both of them are it goes out of the window when they're on the field i swear they age she has such a different vibe when we're on missions and she's so smart and such a quirk thinker we worked together on rescue missions for years i am sad I wont have any with her anymore since I stopped on field work but at least we have shared classes together that's smth fixed.

⭑.ᐟ one time she ran up to me after a mission for a hug and we fell off the stairs from the impact of her jump but she used her quirk last minute and it made me feel funny it felt like i was on a trampoline I was giggling that's one of my favorite stunts of hers

She's not always a hugger but when she is good luck getting out of her grip i feel like my ribs get squeezed .

⏦ﾟ♡︎

- Post graduation crumbs

can pick both me and izuku which kinda freaks me out cause IZUKU IS SO FUCKING HEAVY AND SHE CAN PICK HIM UP ON HER SHOULDER?? WHILE HAVING ME IN HER ARMS SO CASUALLY.its so attractive but oh myy.

⭑.ᐟ

one time I saw her dragging katsuki by the collar with his gear and grenades on (while holding her bag in the other arm btw) when i was walking out of my office, weirdly enough that became normal occurrence really quickly and he gave up resisting LMAO

⭑.ᐟ

Randomly seen carrying around stuff esp if one of her/our shared classes have rescue training,one time she had a brick??i didnt even wanna ask.

another it was the comically large fish net momo made to catch me back in first year training with shoto AND SHE ACTUALLY RAN AFTER ME WITH IT CAUSE APPARENTLY THE STUDENTS SHOULD EXPECT ANYTHING AND THAT COUNTS THEIR TEACHER GETTING CHASED WITH A FISH NET.the whole thing was me and the poor poor kids trying not to get caught in the net and FLOATED AWAY INTO A BOX with another class trying to save us (she caught all 40 students and me (T ^ T).

⭑.ᐟ

talking about how she just walks around with stuff and people one time we saw her carrying a student WITH THEIR DESK to nezu’s office since they didn’t wanna get up thinking she’ll let whatever they did slide😭they looked so dumbfounded and mouthed a help me but not my student not my business,I am sorry I wouldn’t even try to reason with her in this situation.

⭑.ᐟ

Used to make flower crows as a kid and she taught me how cause i forgot and grew up with a certain someone eating flowers (katsuki),whenever i fell asleep in the park i woke up to flowers in my hair and a shit ton of pictures our friends took but one time i woke up to denki helping her and putting one in my mouth I WAS SO MAD CAUSE WHAT IF I SWALLOWED THAT.

fast forward a few years and whenever i fell asleep on my desk at work i wake up with a flower in my hair,a daisy most of times :) and a semi scolding note saying imma look like a shrimp at the end of the year if I don't stop sitting like one shrimp at the end of the year if I don't stop sitting like one.(・・?)

────୨ৎ──── ⊹₊⟡⋆

Style and preferences !

_This is so random but she's really into freckles and beauty marks,she pokes and counts mine regularly (my three beauty marks that look like a triangle and the one on my knuckle specifically) and found it amusing how izuku's ears were also freckled it's one of her favorite features on us,heh

────୨ৎ──── ⊹₊⟡⋆

⭑.ᐟ fruit scents over floral although she has more floral perfumes and body splashes saying it’s more mature/formal for work and events,her favorite scents are mango,strawberry and peach though.

then it turned to her separating the stuff she likes from work and getting fruity perfumes as a way to unwind and use at home (i suggested that after finding 20 plus bottles of stuff she doesn't even like )

⭑.ᐟ takes picking the ones she gets for work so seriously and love narrowing down options but one time she sprayed the tested in my eye.after the third "MY EYE" she told me to hurry up and asked if it smells good or not before it goes out of stock,isn't she just dreamy <3

⭑.ᐟ A turtle neck HATES to see her and the todoroki's coming,ocha and todo have accidentally matched a few times and she looks so good every time.i was happy seeing her wear that in the epilogue.

she also likes wearing boots i thought it was her being used to her hero costume but its more of a fashion statement,she said that her kicks hurt harder with them and that was..! yeah i didn't walk infront of her for a while.she likes gloves and arm/leg warmers too she has a pair of leg warmers that have her agency logo dangling from them (≧∀≦)

⭑.ᐟ loves sweetheart dresses and wearing bows and hair bands to match,especially flower based ones i was reeling when i found out she likes flowers cause i am a floral nerd and kept matching the flower based stuff i got her based on the occasion.we matched in graduation with rea, maru lilly and akemi <3 (two cr scripted friends if you guys are reading this hello i love you and one is an oc but its weird calling her that now)

⭑.ᐟ has a phone bracelet (i forgot its name) that me and katsuki made her cause when she smiles while texting ans taps the phone with her fingers unconsciously with her pinky.it has strawberry and a vanilla ice cream with sprinkles charm

────୨ৎ──── ⊹₊⟡⋆

Bonus ᝰ.ᐟ

I LOVE how her mind works she's my inspo for the world building in my fantasy dr when it comes to some stuff, and scenarios l want to happen.

I remember how she had a whole plot of how everyone would end up getting to know to eachother and we had a path together its super duper cute and i cant wait to go on the silly adventures with her in my fantasy dr that she told me about that one time i couldn't sleep cause my wound hurt, think about that memory a lot it was nice and got my mind off what happened (T ^ T)

────୨ৎ──── ⊹₊⟡⋆

In the vigilante are her speech was a little different from canon cause of conductive events and she was looking straight at me at some part i felt like my heart was gonna burst,she was always nervous about public speaking i was (still am) so proud of her back then i sent seelie to nuzzle her cheek slightly when-she was still holding the microphone and she just smiled at me and I smiled back slightly. It was one on those moments where I got the saving people with a smile thing that I never took the class seriously when it came to, watching her grow and have her own identity of heroism was such a surreal experience and i am so grateful to be close to someone as genuine as ochako be being there when she recognized that she genuinely wants to save people would forever be on my mind cause i didn't really have a deep rooted reason for my heroism and i thought it would stay that way but she made me realize that i just needed time to figure it out,she just cares so much and that day made another part of her journey click to me l don't know she has a way of saying and doing things it's so her and she's so incredible

────୨ৎ──── ⊹₊⟡⋆ thank you so much for reading if you read all of this <3

[tevaselmundogiraalreves]

BUDDIE FIC RECS PART 2

Okay heres more fics cause ive been reading so so much lately, i cannot and will not be stopped. Heres the first list. I will most prob keep on making lists cause i honestly cannot stop reading. Once again, in no particular order:

Songbird by @colonoscopys - Goes first cause i just finished reading this one. FREAK EDDIE IS MY PASION. I said it already but at one point eddie eats bucks hair. Its awesome! FreakxFreak DumbxDumb

a bleeding sun on a silver screen by @hoediaz EVERYONE ALREADY READ THIS ONE RIGHT? IF NOT WTF ARE YOU EVEN DOING GO! ACTORS AU YOU WILL NE FAMOUS FOREVER.

chess inside my chest by @buick118 - HELLOOOO THIS ONE FIXED SOMETHING INSIDE MY CHEST "heart clipped in the backseat with his headphones already secured over his ears." I NEED AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS WRITING ❤️‍🩹

Two, Three Times in a Row by leslie_knope i honestly have no words for how much i love this fic, i reread it all the time, like ive reread it so much its embarrasing. Some of the best smut ive read.

wanna do a bad thing twice by @coldbam BUCK IS SUCH A FREAK GOD HE IS SUCH A FREAK

(You know what actually there are 2 more fics were buck is the freakiest hes ever been so ill put them right below ⬇️)

slow motion, double vision in rose blush by @saryasy Eddie Diaz. His friend. His Eddie. Has kissed a man. Which is strange because Buck is sure as hell he'd remember kissing Eddie.

Me at Buck: FREAAAAAAAAK

Also special mention to that flashback WOW!

i can tell just what you want (you don't want to be alone) by @tallsinspace Buck loses it every single time this is so awesome, it was so FUN reading INFIDELEDDIE this hiatus 🫶🏽

songs and poems and promises by @lesbianrobin buck summer of disatisfaction turns around thanks to eddie god they are so in love! Also special mention to chim well and maddie lets fucking goooooo

we keep this love in a photograph by @burnthatbridge its just so so freaking beautiful. Buck chooses eddies pics for his dating app after he comes out...

the tortured poets department by @colonoscopys once again the kind of fic that you wanna reread again and again.

"The first time Buck touched him, Eddie blew an ambulance up."

still sitting in a corner i haunt by @cal-daisies-and-briars i just love this one so much, should reread it, trust me its worth it.

we're not in love (but the sex is good) by elless. Idk i loved this one. Buddie are not even friends they just want the benefits as soon as they meet. The transition from that to them actually getting to know each other so naturally and start caring about each other is so beautiful.

in the passenger seat by @livingincolorsagain Evan Buckley was put on God’s green earth to drive Eddie Diaz around.

Just BEAUTIFUL.

tying you to me by @hoediaz ONCE AGAIN PERFECT TYPE OF WRITING. Buddie meet each other after 5x11. SO ORIGINAL GOD.

the soft animal of your body by @hattalove . This is a coda to another fic but can be read on its own. Just beautiful beautiful love making. I think i commented that i felt like they were making love with the words they were saying to each other just sitting on the kitchen table talking.

we could follow the sparks, i’ll drive by @markofalover bucks kink should be people calling him mr. diaz and thinking hes eddies husband.

Wait for me there by @kitkatpancakestack Childhood friends reunite after 8 years. I just really really loved this one. Those flashbacks to the past are so beautiful.

wanna be your endgame by literalmetaphor gotta be honest dont see this happening in canon at all cause the second eddie confesses buck would go down on his knees lets be honest. BUT this was so great! I loved it.

Pivot Tables by rainbowninja167 Does it show that i love reading buddie being so freaky and so kinky. Ill just say this: educational sex. Buck brings on the clipboard. Obsessed with this one.

I Broke What You Gave Me, But You Kept Giving More by rcdwings. memory loss buck cant remember his husband. Listen im not always a fun of memory loss fics but i loved this one i loved the twist.

there's a word for it, I'm sure by @ithilien-writes i have to reread this one asap cause i loved it so so much they are just so in love with each other but cant admit it so they just start having sex about it. And god they love esch other.

i could give you fifty reasons by @marviless buck FLIRTS with eddie cause he just want ti help. God this one was so much fun. I remember laughing out loud. I gotta reread.

beating the horse by @doitbuckley Eddie is moving to Texas. Buck finally figures out what he wants. Perfect read to the end of 8a.

In the Back Seat, Windows Up by @semperama SEX IN THE BACKSIT OF THE TRUCK LETSFUCKINGGOOOOOO

Play Me For Keeps by @semperama this one made me feel so MANY things in less than 1k words I WAS WONDERSTRUCK HONESTLY SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR

would you lie with me and just forget the world by @colonoscopys reread this one recently GODDDDD if you havent just go read it right now!!! Childhood friends to lovers for the win always.

your beauty (not just a mask) by @aashiqeddiediaz these next two fics GOD well i have a thing for mirrors and sex in front of mirrors apparently so... this i top tier for me. This one is the shorter one in front of the bathroom mirror 100/10 no notes.

my mirror (staring back at me) by @aashiqeddiediaz this one is longer. Mirror in the bedroom......... Eddie notices bucks insecurities and well he does smth about it ❤️‍🔥 such a fave of mine. It has everything!!!

Dreaming of a White Christmas by rosebuddiekin . Oh boy!!!... just gonna leave the blurb here cause no words could ever be enough: "Buck accepts a challenge to be edged in his and Eddie's own version of the 12 Days of Christmas and loses his mind a little more with each one." (Btw if someone knows the author please lmk. They put a link to their tumblr on ao3 but it doesnt work for me.)

[dindjarindiaries]

i find it so tragically funny that when din took his helmet off in the believer he was very uncomfortable and stressed and just not having fun™️, meanwhile the fandom was moving like they witnessed the second coming of christ

din, sitting helmetless on a table with an imp: going thru it, shaking crying throwing up because holy shit i just broke my creed and i dont regret it but this is NOT The Way

everyone watching at home: YAAAAAS PEDRO PASCAAAALLL

NO LITERALLY 😭😭😭 I always feel bad for loving this scene bc it’s literally one of the most terrifying and traumatizing moments of Din’s life but also like… PEDRO ATEEEE

[gavisfanta]

UNUSUAL SURPRISE- GAVI

summary: after gavi left the spanish camp during the world cup some people get scared, but he returns with an unusual surprise.

warnings: shittalk?, not proofread

"Where's Gavi?" Pedri looked around the table after he found the empty chair which was Gavi's place.

"I don't know, ask Lucho." Ferran answered and Pedri immediately looked to their coach.

"He'll tell you himself." Enrique shortly answered and then went back to typing something on his ipad. Something specific about the spanish coach is that every day, he eats an apple for breakfast and drinks a cup of orange juice. The boys have never seen him eat anything else before lunch.

So after Luis had told the boys that Gavi was 100% gone and he's gonna tell them himself, Pedri wanted to call him. Yet it doesn't matter how many times they tried to call him, it always went to voicemail.

Gavi's phone was turned off and nobody knew what he was doing, Ferran was afriad that he might have gotten an injury or he's sick.

"He wouldn't have left then, we have a whole medical team here!" Ansu threw his hands in the aur as he stood up and made his way over to the table where all the flod was. He grabbed an apple and then went back to sit down.

"Well, the best we can do now is wait." Pedri shrugged his shoulders and zoned out. Ferran shook his head, they were obviously worried what happened to their teammate, but Pedri was right, if Gavi wasnt picking up, they had to wait.

"Hey Sergio did you hear that Gavi left camp?" The newsreporter in the tv said. The whole Brazil squad sitting infront of it, waiting for the game to begin in 20 minutes.

"Yes I did hear, but I sadly don't know why." The other guy named Sergio answered.

"Well fans are worried for their starkid, maybe he picked up an injury, it also may be something with his family. Footballers have done this before during an international tournament." The other guy began talking but Rodrygo shook his head as he leaned closer to Vini.

"Good that that shithole is gone, hm?" Rodrygo nudged Vini's shoulder as he laughed. Both Real Madrid players looked at eachother and smiled.

"No more Wonderkid for him." Vini answered and laughed, however he soon received a hit on his shoulder. As he turned to look around he saw Raphinha sitting behind him.

"I know you dont like him but there's no need to talk about him like that." Raphinha leaned forward and ltold Vinicius. He wanted to open his mouth again but decided not to, so instead he just turned around and looked at the tv.

Not even two days later as the Spanish team was sitting at breakfast, they heard the door open. Every member of the staff was at breakfast so everyone suddenly shut up and looked at the door. To their surprise it was nobody other than Gavi himself, a wide smile spread on his face.

"Hola." He smiled and then Enrique stood up and went to hug him. While he did that he whispered into his ear: "Congratulations."

Gavi just returned the smile and looked at everyone while his coach stood besides him.

"Well, I think Gavi owes everyone an apology and an explanation to why he disappeared so suddenly." Enrique said and everyone began clapping their hands. Gavi cleared his throat, he hated talking infront of so mamy people, especially when he saw the camera running in the opposite corner, but he decided to bite through it.

"First of all, I'm sorry I disappeared so quickly and that I didn't answer any of your phone calls. But I have a perfectly fine explanation." Gavi explained in a loud tone so that everyone could hear him. "I don't know if some of you guys have noticed, that you didn't see my Girlfriend in like 6 months," He stopped for a second and most people nodded their head. "That isn't because we broke up, thank god, but I'd like you to meet someone." Gavi said and then turned around to look at the door where you walked in, a newborn baby in your arms, his eyes closed and peacefully sleeping. Everyone gasped as they saw you stand next to your boyfriend, with his child in your arms. Gavi looked at his son proudly and then put his finger up to his mouth. "He's sleeping." He said just loud enough.

Many of his teammates faces were covered in huge smiles and they just looked at the baby in your arms. You then looked at Pedri and saw him smiling while both of his hands are pressed against his cheeks, then you turned to Gavi again.

"I'll go back now, you talk to them."

"Okay, I'll go to the hospital after we're done eating." Gavi explained to you and you nodded your head. You turmed around one time to everyone and waved your head with a huge grin on your face.

Most of them waved back, they waited until the door closed until everyone jumped up and ran towards Gavi.

Gavi laughed as everyonenwent over to him and congratulated him.

"Hermano this is insane!" Pedri smiled as he shook Gavi's shoulders back and fourth.

"I know, I know." Gavi answered with a smile and hugged Pedri.

"How did you keep this a secret?" Ferran asked, everyone was still smiling, everyone was more than happy for Gavi.

"It was so hard." Gavi laughed out as he shook his head. "She didn't wanna leave the house after like 5 months of pregnancy cause she was scared someone's gonna see her." He laughed and Pedri couldn't help but smile too.

"How is she even on her feet just two days after giving birth?" Ferran asked, simply amazed by how fast you recovered.

"Bro I have no idea, I told her to stay a day more but she wanted to show him to you guys." Gavi explained further.

"What's his name?" Morata asked and looked at the midfielder.

"Can't tell you guys yet." Gavi shrugged his shoulders and then began walking backwards.

Many of his teammates told him to stay but he went outside where his dad was waiting for him together with his sister.

"How did it go?" His dad asked and patted his sons shoulder. Gavi smile couldn't have been wiped off of his face by anything.

"It went amazing," Gavi said and looked around before shifting his gaze back to his father. "Where is she?" Gavi asked after he noticed that you werent around.

"She went to the car to feed him, don't worry, she's fine." Aurora calmed her brother and he nodded his head while pulling out his phone for a second.

"The posts will go online in 4 minutes." Gavi mumbled under his breath. There were posts scheduled for his account, revealing that you gave birth to your child. Of course you and Gavi have talked about announcing it, you both thought it was the right thing to do before someone sees you two walking around with a child.

But after all of you had arrived at the hotel you were staying in, Gavi went to your room with you.

While he held his child in his arms, shaking him to sleep, he looked at you with a smile. "I'm so proud of you." Gavi mumbled, but just as you would've gotten time to respond there was a knock on the door.

"My god why is that child sleeping in your arms? Here, I'll take care of him." Gavi's mother hurried over to her son, taking her grandchild out of his arms and leaving the room. You smiled a little as you watched her close the door again.

"She's-" Gavi scoffed while shaking his head, he smiled as he walked closer to you and kissed your temple. "But I'm so proud of you amor."

"Why are you proud?" You laughed out and ran your hand along his jaw, caressing his soft skin.

"You're not normal, why are you walking around two days after the delivery. You shouldn't be on your feet, your body needs to rest." Gavi said and grabbed your hand as he walked you over to the bed.

"No, Gavi I'm fine-" You began but he cut you off before you could've finished your sentence.

"No you go back to sleep now." He mumbled and then kneeled down besides you while kissing your cheek.

"I love you" You mumbled while running your hamd through his hair.

"I love you more." He answered with a smile on his face.

[annie-ave]

t.w. sexual coercion/sexual content

for the TRA's stalking my blog rn)

i actually have slept with a transwoman before y'know.

it was summer after i got out of highschool, i was on dating apps screwing around trying to forget the female best friend i was in love with, hooking up with random men who were six years older than me in random parking lots. damaging myself emotionally basically, because that's what everyone else was doing.

it was consensual sex, although she did insist on not using a condom bc she "couldn't get me pregnant".

I found out later that the relatively short time she'd been on cross sex hormones meant she could, in fact, get me pregnant. I paid for the emergency contraception myself without even asking (even though i was broke af and had just been kicked out by my parents for fucking women) because I didn't want to risk hurting her feelings on her sex and causing dysphoria.

I was 18 and a massive TRA who cared about everyone's comfort but my own.

For years afterwards, i let her talk down to me about how i'm more clocky than she is as a teenager transitioner, what with my hairy arms, PCOS stubble, and stocky shoulders.

It bruised me a bit then, but I prided myself on being a good ally. I shut my mouth because I'd learned from all my liberal feminist instagram activism pages that trans women were the most vulnerable of ALL women, and that they needed to be protected.

Socialized female in a Catholic home with a stay-at-home mother who left a six-figure salary to stay at home and raise my dads children so he could further his career, i'd been brought up to believe that self-sacrifice in women is a heavenly-endowed virtue.

As an annoying lefty from a really early age (still am despite the amount of ppl who want to insist im not a socialist bc i dont believe female people have a dick and balls), I always really LOVED the self-sacrificial aspect of modern activism.

The idea that I could be alleviating some woman's pain by taking on some of it as mine, even if it meant biting my tongue, was legitimately appealing especially because i'd been brought up to believe this was a woman's role.

This transwoman regularly posted online about her extensive drug use and wanting to kill herself so she could be reborn as a woman (even AFTER bottom surgery). I sent her long voicemails consoling her, trying to convince her she looked perfectly feminine on the outside. More feminine than ME certainly!!

And I wasn't lying. She does, she's stunning. When I was a TRA I'd pull up her photos at the dinner table to show my parents how feminine she was.

"Can you really say she's a MAN!" I'd shout, perfectly unaware of the misogyny inherent in assuming "looking feminine" defines womanhood.

I'd find that out for when we attended a sex party together (I went wild and hedonistic after leaving my Catholic household for undergrad, and many of these stories are regrettable but instructive).

I attended with my lover at the time, a sweet butch who was nonbinary herself. there was already a little tension in her attendance. The transwoman i'd slept with confessed, as if this was some horrid secret, that she'd matched with my lover on tinder and was almost convinced she didnt want to slep with her her becasue she was a transwoman.

I knew for a fact my lover had was a lesbian who had trauma with dicks. I also thought it would have been perfectly alright if she just didn't want dick. I had an embryonic idea that it was pretty misogynistic gay men weren't expected to want vagina to the same extent.

But i didn't want to think about that. I KNEW genital preferences were a "TERF dogwhistle".

So when she started pouting at the party after being rejected by my lover. for the second time (talkig sadly to me about how my lover didnt even want to KISS her, and that kissing had nothing to do with her dick and how it was so sooooooo horribly unfair that she didn't have a vagina of her very own) I did feel bad for her. I did see she was in pain. I didn't want her to be in pain. I didn't want my lover to be pilloried for transphobia.

when she asked me if i'd kiss her instead, it didn't seem like a hard decision to let her, even though I had zero sexual interest in her after our first encounter.

i didn't say no- I let her grope me a bit without asking, and consented to touching her chest in return. I did refuse to go further.

it didn't matter. she accused my lover of being a TERF the next day. my lover who also identified as trans.

I still visited her in L.A. after her bottom surgery. This was when I was halfway through discovering radical feminism, and still feeling like a bigot for thinking that the research on children transitioning was actually pretty low quality. I internalized what all my friends told me about TERFS, but I'd also accepted I agreed with radfems. I confided in my partner about how evil I was, convinced i'd be single afterwards. My partner told me I would be ok, as long as I didn't start speaking up about it. how really everyone kind of had these feelings and its most important we let people make their own choices. So i decided to bite my tongue some more. and then she asked me to come see her in L.A.

When I saw her she was still in a lot of pain, especially when dilating (but very happy with her results on the whole). She wasn't well enough to go get food with me so I held her hand and got her water while she lay in her hotel room bed.

I've also seen her since I peaked fully, and despite what some of you might think, no dear reader I did not decide to be awful to her about her transition for no reason, use the "wrong" pronouns, say she looked manly (she doesn't), or tell her I was a radfem.

I didn't see a reason too.

Some part of me didn't want to hurt her, but it was also a pragmatic decision given the kind of online reach she has.

We happened to both be in the same city on vacation so we met for dinner. She regaled me with stories of the sex parties she's been participating in since I left for grad school, complaining that at a recent one only 4/10 of the girls there wanted to sleep with her even though she HAS a vagina now!

she didn't seem to think about the possibility that "a vagina" is not the sole determinant of whether a lesbian would want to sleep with you or not. i see her posting on instagram sometimes about how that hoagie murdereress is a victim of state violence.

i do still reach out to her when i see her struggling. i'm not heartless, but i fully confess to feeling differently when I see her featured as a transitioning success story in the news.

We come from a conservative state originally, and she really likes the camera.

i realize that at this point she can't go back even if she wanted too, and like many (if not most!) radfems i dont support banning HRT for adults partially because I worry about the health impacts of people who have gotten so many surgeries that their bodies physically are unable to create their natal hormones.

I don't want anyone to be hurt no matter how much you think I do. But I no longer believe that means I have to stay quiet and prostrate myself to the idea that humans can change sex.

and I want every female person reading this to know, you do NOT have to sleep with anyone you don't enthusiastically want to sleep with. Self sacrifice in women is NOT a unilateral virtue.