#also i love writing from ratio POV hes so fun

[seacats1986]

i NEED to write bottom ratio its actually a crime i havent yet but whenever i write smut i go through the 9 circles of hell

but ough,, vampire aventurine feeding from ratio asjkdhajk

[meta-squash]

More for @shamelessdvdcommentary since I just recently wrote and posted some new fic. (Thank you Calli for reminding me that this is a thing and that writing this commentary is really fun.)

High Elopement Risk Summary:

A sign on the door says 'High Elopement Risk' in bold black and white. He can't stop thinking about the idea of marriages of the mad; vows jumbled in cotton-dry mouths, church bells tolling crooked and joyous, benzo-sloppy kisses, heavily medicated laughter painting the halls. Glassy eyes and white gauze and rings made of toilet paper, promises made for or by the not-quite-there. It scares him that his fingers itch for Ian's skin. It scares him that even through the clenched heart, the way his stomach is in lovelorn knots, the way his mind shuts down at the thought of Ian doing the things he did, he still wants to stay. Mickey's POV during the time that Ian is in the hospital.

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc) I wrote this fic a couple of weeks ago. It took a few days to write but mostly came all at once. It's a oneshot, 5,255 words.

What was the initial inspiration for your story? I read a short essay by a woman about visiting her aging mother in the hospital and she talked about reading the sign that said "high elopement risk" and thinking about weddings. That sparked an idea of Mickey waiting for Fiona in the hospital and thinking similar thoughts.

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character? I wanted more of Mickey's POV during this time because we get Ian, and we get the rest of the Gallaghers, but we don't get Mickey's true feelings really, when he's waiting for Ian to get out of the hospital. We see him trying to avoid thinking about all of it, but we don't actually get a sense of what he's actually thinking or feeling under that attempt to ignore/avoid it all.

What was your favourite scene to write? Writing Mickey's internal feelings during the scene in the hospital where Fiona is chattering away and Ian is so, so vague and sedated and Mickey's barely holding it together was really fun. Mickey is worried and sad in that scene but also totally freaked out by the difference in Ian and also still reeling from everything that happened in the days and weeks prior but also obviously still very much dedicated to Ian. So it was fun and interesting to try and figure out the ratios of all those feelings and which ones were stronger for which scenes.

How did you come up with the title? This title (for once) was really obvious considering the inspiration and also main theme.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice? That every time Mickey thinks about actually leaving, it's immediately contradicted by him realizing how much he wants to stay. I've always thought that part of what freaks Mickey out so bad during this time is that he realizes he's 100% in it for the long haul and even something this huge and upsetting as this isn't changing that he wants to stay, even though it would have other people running. And that realization of how dedicated and in love he is scares him, especially alongside how bad seeing Ian like that is freaking him out.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this? I got slightly stuck with writing Mickey the morning that Ian comes home (but before Debbie comes and yells at him) because he's just drunk for most of it, which means he's mostly trying to not think. But I got through it by kind of building up what he's freaking out about. Like, what's he going to freak out about upon first waking up, and then what other thoughts or fears end up piled on top of that as he starts drunkenly spiralling?

Favourite line in the story?

Chewing at his lips like gnawing the skin tender will somehow make the other pain easier to bear. Like if he's raw at the place only Ian has ever touched him then maybe Ian will come back and they can kiss each other better. As if he ever believed in kissing anything better. He sure as hell wishes he could believe in it now.

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story? Mostly I just couldn't decide whether or not to make the fic continue all the way up to the "Sorry I'm late" scene or not. I decided to write up to where I ended it in actuality, and then decide whether it felt like it needed more. It didn't, so I didn't end up going that far.

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this? Angsty fic is my signature style, and I mostly write Mickey POV, so no. But it's my first fic that I wrote that focuses on Mickey while Ian's in the hospital. So now I've written a fic from Lip's POV about Mickey when Ian gets checked into the hospital, and one from Mickey's POV about while Ian is in the hospital, and multiple fics about Ian and Mickey pre-diagnosis.

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc) Characterization, for sure. I'm really happy with the way I wrote Mickey freaking out about the change in Ian, and then freaking out about wanting to stay anyway, and then freaking out about how he's freaking out. And then him making up his mind to stay anyway.

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story? Well, I never ended up writing the "Sorry I'm late" scene, so I guess the concept of that is sort of a deleted scene? But no, this one came into the world pretty whole.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line? I just love season 5 Mickey because there's nothing but growth there, he really matures and becomes so stable and wonderful throughout the season. (Which makes me so pissed off about the end of season 5 and how much they fucked up his character in the last 3 seasons ugh anyway.) I really wanted to explore that growth, the moment of transition between him really scared and freaked out and heartbroken, and then coming over to the Gallagher house and from that point on being this pillar of stability and wanting so bad to take care of and love Ian even through all the shit that's going on. Also I wrote this line:

Waiting by the phone, calling and calling and talking and talking to the empty heartless beep of voicemail until the message box filled up, calling still after that and talking to the dead air, promises and declarations and pleas and all the things he wasn't sure he could have said to Ian's face, not before. Maybe not now.

because I've always been of the opinion that Mickey saying "I love you" in the voicemail was not a surprise to him, that he had been mulling over the feeling and the words for a long time and hadn't yet found a good time to say it due to Ian's manic behavior. He's surprised that he let it slip then, but I don't think it's a moment of realization for him. But I really liked the idea that the more voicemails he left, the more he just ended up saying things he might not otherwise say, really personal thoughts and feelings and stuff, both because he's scared and because he hopes somehow that opening up like Ian always wanted him to do might convince Ian to come back. And then when Ian's in the hospital, it gives him another layer of things to freak out about -- how is Ian going to react to him being vulnerable in that way over voicemail?

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add? Not at the moment, although I tend to reread old fics every few months and add a sentence or a word or two, so maybe in a few months I'll find something I want to add.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story? Nothing official. A lot of my Shameless fics tend to accidentally fit together, so I'm sure if you read Because Brothers Don't Let Each Other Wander In The Dark Alone and then read this fic, they'd fit together as prequel and sequel.

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc? Nothing specific. Just Mickey being generally a pretty anxious person, which I think he is to some degree quite an anxious/high alert person but just good at clamping down on it or hiding it.

Were you nervous or excited to post this story? Excited because I really liked what I did with the themes and the base idea of "high elopement risk" as a concept with multiple meanings. But I think fics about that mini-story arc of Ian in the hospital don't get as much traffic (probably because it's a sad topic) so I was expecting it to get fewer hits and I'm not surprised that I was right. The happier Gallavich fic I posted a month prior has like 5x the amount of hits.

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story? Just that I'm completely obsessed with Noel's acting during this little story arc. He's just so good at body language acting and microexpressions and I think part of what made me want to write this fic is the way his expressions seem to flicker between a sort of panicky hysteric freaking out and a heartbroken worry and helplessness. And I just wanted to explore those two types of upset and how Mickey is dealing with it all.

[acourtofthought]

Your speculation on how Elain's voice (the inner thoughts in her POV) could be presented? Would it be more romantic? Witty? Sarcastic? Dreamy? or more observant and perceptive? A mix of all? or maybe more internal (like intuned to her emotions)?

Also for all the theories about Guilty as Sin, I think SJM just likes the song. It doesn't necessarily have to be about the books. I suppose we can all have fun theorizing about anything.

Regarding her post.

I think it is most likely that Sarah loving that song has nothing to do with Elucien or E/riel.

Do I think she felt moved by it? That it made her get in her feels? Definitely!

Do I think it could have given her some sort of inspiration as a writer? Sure! We have no idea what headspace she's in right now, we have no idea what she's writing right now. The song, while possibly about emotional cheating, is also about longing and her MMCs usually experience that. Maybe she's even writing a book set in the past and the song gave her inspiration for the LoA and Helion before they had the affair that resulted in Lucien.

However, Sarah says that she always has music on while she's writing so I do understand why everyone is trying to play detective. She chose her main platform for communication with her fans to create a post about a specific song and her author's website says "follow me for updates on IG". Considering she doesn't often post, when she does people are going to look for clues. When she herself has said she leaves all sorts of crumbs and easter eggs in her books and we all know she's a Swiftie (who also leaves easter eggs), it's not farfetched to think, "maybe that's what she's now doing on her IG!"

I do think people are being a little harsh towards others who are debating the possibility of clues.  It's not like all sides of the ship wars haven't read into her posts. I remember when she released a HOFAS excerpt, people were claiming that because she shared one with Nesta and Az it was further proof that she wants the focus to now be on Az but Nesta ended up being more heavily featured in the crossover.  Or how all sides of the ship war were using her last post of being in the mountains as evidence of who was getting the next book.

I think the theories / debates are fun and people should not be ridiculed for creating posts. We have literally nothing else to go on these days and in an an attempt to not recycle the same excerpts from the books over and over, even seemingly random IG posts can inject a little life (no matter how ridiculous) into our pages.

With that said, it's a little wild to claim her posts are confirmation of anything. While theories / debates are fun, acting superior and claiming the other side is crying because "her post proves E/riel endgame!" is taking it too far. Claiming that because she liked the song it's absolute proof of who is getting the next book is a stretch because, while we can theorize that maybe it does mean something, it could also still mean a hundred other things or absolutely nothing at all.

As far as Elain, I think she actually has a thoughtful / observant inner voice with a sarcastic edge.

A 75/25 ratio. Where she'll sit there thinking things that are insightful and observant then throw in a zinger from time to time to the point that it sneaks up on you. A lot like Lucien in ACOWAR, where he was going on and on about how well decorated the HOW was then throws out "Rhys was a good many things, but he certainly had good taste". Or when he was thinking on how he just wanted to read, thinking back on Jesminda, offered Elain tea then called Nesta a viper.

But where I think Lucien's inner thoughts are tinged with a bit of heaviness and sadness, I think Elain's will be slightly more optimistic.

I think Lucien pushes forward and carries on, he remains fair and polite, but there's a lot of guilt and hopelessness lying just under the surface.

With Elain, I think she leans more towards the positive. That's not to say she doesn't struggle with things too but I think despite that, she continues believing that things will work out, that things will be ok.

There's a reason SJM said Nesta and Lucien would cause one another more damage but that Elain was someone both she and Lucien didn't see coming. I think it's Elain's inner strength, that ability to remain positive, loving and kind that is going to be the central theme of their story. There is a lot of discord in certain relationships right now. Between Lucien and Tamlin, Lucien and the people of Spring, Lucien and the people of Autumn, Lucien and Eris, Az and Lucien, the sisters at times, Lucien and Feyre / Nesta at times, the IC and Tamlin, and there has not been a character to help rebuild those bridges yet. I do think it will be Elain's inner light and loving nature that will be a catalyst for many of these relationships beginning to repair themselves.

I hope you have a fun weekend!!!

[nicegaai]

im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3

anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.

Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition

Ch 1:

*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me

My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(

------------

Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH

Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*

"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh

LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell

I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder

FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB

"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny

GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((

Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png

Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN. 

Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much

Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion

Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this

EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now

Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T

Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl?????????? 

Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!! 

TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life

Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???

OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING —— 

[unholytrinityrpf]

Heavy 🩸 themes! Maybe ⚠️ though not sure if it counts under it. Also okay with 🍪, 🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒, and 🐾! 21 y/o Queer mun looking for 21+ Fandomless Dead Dove Discord Rp! M x M or Masc x Masc only! All my characters are transmasc and or transmen just a forewarning! So that being said, trans characters welcome ofc! The more queer the better! Buzzwords for what I’m looking for are: mutual toxicity/abuse, non/dub con, age gaps, heavy crime/violence, gang and or mafia themes especially is a must, and dystopians. ( I do have a specific idea in mind for a dystopian, will elaborate in dm’s just ask! ) Open to Omegaverse, Hybrids, Monsters, Post Apocalyptic, or Modern Fantasy! Love Apocalyptic stuff especially! To cut to the chase, this will be multi muse, I have 3 characters I’d like to involve in this plot, all within the constraints of the same mafia and gang unit. Looking to mainly use Characters One as a main with the other two as side characters or with ships if it fits. Primarily muse Characters One and Two.

My writing is primarily Novella, but I can go for Lazy Lit. 3rd Person POV and varying between past and present tense, can fixate to one if preferred. Usually write between 600 - 1,200 words. Can be medium paced, but absolutely okay with fast or slow replies. Down with any smut/plot ratio but always prefer to have a detailed and thought out plot or background. Open to all ideas you may have!

Character One, and my main, is the young loyal attack/guard dog to the groups leader. He’s small but deadly, skilled in fighting, and refuses to give up even if he’s beat. He works in a fight club. He’s a spitfire with a bad attitude, always lashing out. He’s untrusting & jumpy like a cornered animal. He’s reserved in the sense he doesn’t like or trust people. He’s best with weapons but that doesn’t stop him from fist fights. He’s 20-21 default, transmasc and gay, 5’0” and a pierced up little punk. He’s loyal to the leader… for now. ( Verse Bottom for smut. Doesn’t use a strap, fingers only kinda guy. Can be an eager to please top, a brat or be obedient. )

Character Two is the other right hand man and loyal attack/guard dog for the leader. He’s a known charmer, but he’s a crude and perverse manwhore with a sadomasochistic streak to him. They love to fuck and fight and party. He can’t commit to any relationship. They’re very sociable. He’s a tank when it comes to fighting. He’s often paired up with Character One because they’re opposites and compliment each other but also because they’re most trusted by their boss. They’re 25 default, masc queer, 5’8” and an absolute dog with a devilish smile. ( Verse Switch for smut. He can be anything you need him to be. )

Character Three is the gang/mafia leader. He’s cold, callous, sadistic, and violent. Very short tempered and very paranoid and distrusting. He’s not afraid to use or sacrifice anyone around him to climb to the top. He’s blood thirsty and power hungry. It’s how he runs his empire. Only his loyal dogs can calm him down along with an ex who won’t be in the picture. While he’s cruel, he is fair in how he runs things until crossed. He’s 30 default, 6’2”, transmale and gay, he’s a king who runs with an iron fist. ( Strict top for smut but always down for forced bottoming or eventually him trusting enough to bottom. )

Looking for characters who are also heavily involved in crime, gangs, or mafia. Love assholes, scumbags, toxic, sadists, short tempers, players, rugged types, etc. Rival gang/mafia members or leaders would be fun! Always down for pimps, drug dealers, back street doctors, and cops whether dirty/clean! Fine with slow burn or jumping straight into relationships. We can talk more plot ideas when I hear about your characters so this isn’t too long because it’s long as is ik.

If you’ve read through all that and are still interested, leave a like and I’ll get to you asap!

If interested, please like this post. 🙏

[prpfz]

🧟‍♂️ 🧬 What’s up and Happy New Year (s Eve)! 21 y/o Queer mun looking for some Lit - Novella Fandomless M x M Oc x Oc Rp! 18+ Only! Discord only! All my characters are transmasc just a heads up! Not necessarily looking for heavy Dead Dove stuff, but just Dead Dove friendly! Looking to do a Post Zombie Apocalyptic Omegaverse Rp! I’m mainly looking to use one main character but I’m open to multi muse as I’d absolutely LOVE to have something with pack dynamics! I’ll happily talk about my other two characters I’d possibly use as side characters in dms if we do multi muse! Violent themes are a must though considering the zombie stuff of course! And ofc possible gore as expected with zombies!

My writing is primarily Novella! I can do Lazy Lit minimum though. I usually write around 1,200 words give or take. And 600 words at the least. I write 3rd person POV, and usually a mix of past and present tense! But I can focus on one if asked! I’m CST timezone! I don’t use tupper bots, and I prefer an organized server to Rp in. Face claims aren’t required, but I do have an irl one and picrews just in case! I’m fine with fast or slow replies. I usually reply twice a week depending on muse I can do more. So medium paced generally. Fine with slow replies! And if we don’t always hit 1,000+ words I won’t be upset, I get busy days or low muse! Down for any smut/plot ratio so long as the plot is detailed but primarily looking for more plot than smut for this instance! And hoping for a lot of romance instead of entirely smutty plots!

The character I’m wanting to write and main with is a young YouTuber/Twitch streamer. He’s got a peppy personality, super fun loving, playful, sociable, and most certainly a bit lazy and leisurely. He’s a bit of an airhead sometimes, he’s typically portrayed as “dumb” in his content. He’s not actually stupid, just a bit spacey, careless, and doesn’t think a lot of the time on top of always fumbling his words. He’s definitely got a dog boy personality. He’s always been a city boy his whole life. He’s 28 y/o, 5’4”, Transmasc and Gay, and would be portrayed as an Omega in this. He might lack a little color to his personality after the apocalypse, but he still knows how to laugh and smile.

The two other characters I have we can use as side characters; one is a quiet, prudish, fatherly, worrisome, and protective 34 y/o 5’2” Transmasc and Gay, he would be an Omega; and the other an impish, careless, perverted, and crude 25 y/o 5’8” Masc and Queer, and he would be a Beta.

Looking for characters who are quick, witty, friendly, funny, caring, big and strong, ( over ) protective, etc. I want to focus a lot on Omegaverse dynamics outside of smut like packs, instincts, going feral, etc etc. I’m not looking for characters who would be strangers to one another, ideally they’ve known each other for a while whether it’s before or after the apocalypse. They’re close, maybe even pre established. Maybe they were gaming buddies prior to the apocalypse? Old roommates or classmates? Survivors who have been through a lot together? A pair who have drifted from group to group? Etc etc. Looking to pair my character up with the leader or one of the leaders of the pack! I’d love some hurt/comfort or even my character getting injured and seeing how yours reacts! Would also adore fluff too! And ofc I’m down for anything dead dove as well if it piques my interest! Also side note for how I like to write Omegaverse, Beta’s aren’t just “normal” humans, they have their own unique qualities as a dynamic!

If any of that catches your attention leave a like and I’ll reach out asap! ^^

give a like and anon will get back to you

[azriona]

I know, right? Soldat!Bucky isn't either, he's somewhere in between (though at this point, he's definitely more Soldat and very little Bucky; that ratio will shift over the course of the fic). It was a lot of fun trying to write that change, hopefully it feels natural!

If you liked this take on the Winter Soldier, and how he comes out of the triggering... oh man, do I have recs for you.

All of these are on AO3. Various pairing and non-pairings. All are super long and complete.

So the first one, the absolute classic This, You Protect by owlet. Canon divergent after CA:TWS, hysterically funny, all from the Soldier's POV as he shakes the mind control and attempts (with great success) to keep that walking death wish that is Steve Rogers safe from harm. It's very much gen, but it's also a very long series, and one of the last stories does go Stucky. If you ever see Bucky eating a grilled cheese in any fic, it's probably a shout-out to this story.

Next up, an actual Stucky fic: Ain't No Grave (can keep my body down) by spitnvinegar. Also canon divergent after CA:TWS, but this one is much darker and grimmer. Bucky can't deal with the changes in his head, ends up living rough, accidentally fostering a couple of homeless kids (who are wonderful), getting addicted to heroin (and probably a bunch of other shit), and turns himself into a champion for the downtrodden and also avenging do-gooder against Hydra, Revelations John. The fic is dark and deals head-on with loss and grief and mental issues and addiction, and it's so amazingly well written and beautiful, and I love it. (And despite the darkness, there's plenty of humor and love too.)

Last one: Order of Operations by beckala. It's Bucky/Darcy, canon divergent after CA:TWS. A newly recovered, still struggling with identity Soldat is living in the Tower when the Tower is attacked, and Steve, trying desperately to fight, tells Soldat to follow Darcy and keep her safe. (Yeah, i know, similar premise; different story, I promise.) Told mostly from Darcy's POV, it's Bucky coming out of the mind control, falling for each other, and attempting to avenge their fallen friends (spoiler alert: they aren't as fallen as Bucky & Darcy think). There's also some background Stony happening. There's a couple sequels and an alternate ending, too. Funny & sexy and just generally a really good time.

I hope you give those a chance--they're wonderful, and if you like reading stories where the Winter Soldier is shaking off his programming, these are a fantastic place to start.

Trustfall, Chapter 2

Winter Soldier!Bucky x fem!Reader, 9 chapters plus prologue & epilogue. Explicit for sexual contact in later chapters, which considering it’s the Winter Soldier should be considered vaguely dub!con within an established relationship. Updates will be Tuesdays & Thursdays until complete.

Summary:

Hydra attacks the Tower, fully intending to regain control of their Asset. But Bucky Barnes has a plan. Bucky Barnes has you.

A/N: Inspired by this Tumblr post by @calzone-d, but then it took a life of its own. The working title for this was “Hostage to the Winter Soldier!” (complete with exclamation point, because it’s funnier that way, and if you don’t imagine that title in one of those 1950s B-movie fonts, you’re doing it wrong), but by the time I finished writing, I had Pink’s song stuck in my head, and it’s probably a better fit.

Full notes on AO3, but please note the Trigger Warning for Dub!con above.

Prologue ~ Chapters 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9 ~ Epilogue

MCU Masterlist

Everything is pain, from the wound in your side to the sound of your heart beating in your ears, to the screams and the crash of things falling. Your throat aches, you can’t catch a solid breath, and each cough is more painful than the last.

The Soldier holds you close, careful, securely against him. He runs, stops, changes direction, runs again. Every jolt makes you catch your breath and cry out, and every time you do, he muffles your mouth against his shoulder.

You know when you’ve stepped outside, though you’re not sure how or why, only that the weight of the air around you changes, the sound of the sirens in the distance growing louder.

“Where?” you croak, but the chill in the air makes speech even more difficult.

“Away,” says the Soldier, curt and disinterested in elaboration. He looks around, then shifts you as he grabs a jacket someone’s left behind, using it to wrap around you, tie you to him, undoubtedly for better security.

“Buck!” shouts someone—you squint and turn your head, trying to find the source.

The Soldier doesn’t respond.

“Bucky, what’s wrong, is she—?”

It happens fast. One moment, the Soldier is tying you to him; the next, your feet are on the ground, the length of your body pressed to his, which is when you realize you’re on the outside dining patio, up against the wall that overlooks 45th Street.

And standing in the middle of the patio is Steve Rogers, eyes confused. The bulk of the Tower rises behind him, broken glass and smoke pouring from windows.

Steve reaches to you both, but the Soldier aims his gun directly at Steve’s head.

Steve freezes, hands raised. “Buck. It’s me. You know me.”

The Soldier doesn’t answer, except to pull you a little closer to him.

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” you try to say, but between the state of your throat and the cough and the wind and the sirens, you can’t even hear yourself.

“Okay,” says Steve—but it’s not Steve anymore, it’s Cap. You’re not sure how you recognize the shift, but he’s calm, soothing, as if he’s trying to convince you both that he’s in control. And then he looks at you. “Do you remember what happened? Did they say something to him?”

You nod, but you’re in too much pain to say anything else. Apparently, it’s all Cap needed anyway; he leans his head to the side, pressing his shoulder against his ear, and speaks low. “Sam, Tony, we’ve got a problem here. I need backup.”

“Right behind you,” says a metallic-sounding voice, and when you look behind you, it’s both Iron Man and Falcon in the air , guns and repulsors aimed straight at the Soldier.

“No,” you try to say, struggling to work your way in between them.

It doesn’t work.

Mostly because he pulls you in, taking one step onto the wall and then leaping from it, up and over Cap’s head to the balcony two levels above.

He makes it.

You almost don’t, your feet scrabbling on the brick wall, but somehow he falls forward in such a way as to pull you with him, and then he’s at a fast sprint for the doors, only to skid to a stop when Falcon lands in between you and the Soldier’s intended escape.

“Okay, Barnes, I know you’re a bit confused right now,” Falcon begins, hands out in a placating manner.

“Not confused,” growls the Soldier. “And not Barnes.”

“Okay,” says Falcon. “Just put her down, man, she’s hurt, and we can help.”

The Soldier’s breath is fast and shallow. “Sam Wilson, codename Falcon, US Airforce 2000 through 2010. Member of the Avengers since 2014.”

“Yeah, that’s me,” agrees Falcon, calm and tight. “So you know you can trust me, right?”

“Wrong,” snaps the Soldier.

“Bucky,” repeats Cap from behind you, and the Soldier turns to glare at him, his grip snug around your waist. “Please. Put her down. She needs a doctor.”

The Soldier slowly lets you slide down until he’s put you down on the ground. He’s surprisingly gentle, but you can’t take your eyes off of him, because he hasn’t taken his eyes off of Cap.

There’s a tension in his jaw, his neck, even his fingers. Every inch of him is poised and ready for attack, and if you had a moment where you thought it might turn out okay—that he’d step away and let Steve take the lead… it’s gone the moment his eyes narrow.

He twists, pulls something from a pocket you didn’t even realize he had. Before you see the knife flash, it’s flying, straight behind you and driving hard through Falcon’s wing, pinning him to the door.

“Uh, Cap?” says Falcon.

“Buck, we don’t want to hurt you,” says Cap from the far side of the roof, his fingers spread wide, his hands out to show he’s unarmed. You can’t quite see his expression from where you’re crouched, but his voice has that calm tension in it, the sort of voice he uses on the guys who are really at risk of going ballistic and causing world-ending explosions. “But she needs a doctor.”

“You won’t touch her.”

“Bucky—” starts Cap.

“I’m. Not. Bucky,” growls the Soldier.

Iron Man grumbles something—knowing Tony, you suspect it’s along the lines of We don’t have time for this—and steps forward, gauntlets raised and glowing blue.

That’s all it takes for the Soldier to lose whatever tenuous grasp he has on civility. The firefight is fast and furious and you flatten yourself against the edge of the rooftop, covering your face until you hear Sam scream Steve’s name.

You look up in time to see Cap falling, not to the lower balcony, but straight down, seven flights to the pavement below.

The Soldier picks you up and moves, leaping from the top of the building straight across the alley to the next, landing with such a jolt that your teeth knock together painfully.

“No,” you moan, because seriously, it hurts, your teeth and your jaw and your head, and the wound on your side.

It’s still not as bad as the stricken look on Sam’s face as Steve fell. As knowing that the Soldier probably pushed him over, that even if Tony manages to catch Steve in time, they’ll never catch the pair of you, because the Soldier’s still running, still holding tight to you.

Bucky, you trusted.

But the Winter Soldier?

“Go back, please go back,” you whimper, clinging to him, because you’ll fall otherwise.

“Shhh,” says the Soldier, surprisingly gentle.

If he says anything else, you don’t hear it; the next jolt, and you faint.

*

It’s dark when you wake up. Dark and quiet, but you lie on a soft bed, covered in blankets, and your jaw and your head don’t hurt anymore, though your mouth is impossibly dry.

It’s clear, just from the bed and the darkness, that some time has passed; you wish you knew how much. Your throat still hurts, but it’s easier to breathe now, without smoke in your lungs.

The wound on your side aches, sharp when you breathe, but it’s not the burning pain that you’d felt earlier. You take a deep breath, and feel the tug of medical tape on your bare skin, the pinpricks that feel like stitches.

You turn your head, squinting in the dark, and see him. Sitting in a chair between the bed and the window, where the curtains are drawn over most of the glass. There’s only the barest crack, enough for him to see out, and that’s what the Soldier is doing; he’s looking out, keeping watch.

You watch for a moment, trying to focus on him. Maybe you make a sound, turning your head on the pillow; maybe the pattern of your breathing changes enough to alert him. He glances at you quickly.

“Water,” you choke out.

He rises, a slow, sinuous thing, graceful and smooth as he picks up the bottle next to the bed and offers it to you. There’s even a straw for you to use, as if he knew it would make it easier to drink.

Three sips, and you’re exhausted, your head falling back on the pillow, your eyes closing.

“Sleep,” he says, a terse grunt.

You sleep.

*

There’s sunlight thin around the curtains when you wake, and the Soldier is nowhere to be seen.

You sit up, blearily, your head swimming. The stitches on your stomach ache and pull; your arms shake with the effort.

It’s a motel room; ramshackle, brown and orange, threadbare and probably unchanged since the 1970s.

There’s noise from the bathroom in the back; there’s a phone on the desk across from the bed.

You take a breath, bracing yourself for the pain you know is coming. You swing your legs out and try to stand. It’s not easy; you have to lean on the bed because you’re exhausted and weak, and then it’s a lunge to actually reach the desk where the phone sits.

You take a breath and catch your reflection in the mirror.

You look terrible. Your hair’s a mess, there’s dark circles under your eyes—though that might be the lack of light. You’re not dressed, either, apart from your bra and underwear; maybe your clothes were too blood-stained to leave on you. Probably.

The Soldier would have stripped them off. It sends a shiver down your spine, even as warmth pools unexpectedly between your legs, thinking about it.

“Gorgeous,” Bucky whispered in your ear, sliding the clothes from your body…

No. It wouldn’t have been like that. The Soldier isn’t Bucky. He wouldn’t have looked at your skin, your curves; he would have only had eyes on the wound he tended. Perfunctory, clinical, cold.

You still can’t stop thinking about it. What he might have seen when he tore them from you. If his gaze had lingered at all, if he’d wanted to touch…

You let out a breath and reach for the phone, lifting the receiver to your ear.

The dial tone rings out, loud and clear, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

Fingers shaking, you press the buttons Bucky had you memorize months ago.

#

5

2

7…

Crack.

You suck in a breath and almost fall as the Soldier crushes the phone’s base in his left hand, yanking the cord out of the wall for good measure. Your breath comes fast and sharp and shallow, but his fingers are gentle when they take the receiver from your grip.

“No,” he says shortly, firmly.

“I just want to tell them I’m okay,” you protest.

He wraps his arm around your waist and leads you back to the bed. “No.”

“They won’t hurt me. Or you.”

“No,” he repeats.

There’s no argument in it, either. No heat, no fury. Just cool and staid and certain. No.

You want to cry.

He’s gentle as he puts you back in the bed, and he pushes you toward the center, closer to where the bed is shoved up against the wall.

He crawls in after you, the warmth of his body solid against your back, his left arm solid over your chest, holding you in, holding you close.

“Bucky—”

He grunts, displeased.

“Soldier?” you try, hesitating over the codename.

He’s quiet.

“Sleep,” he says gruffly, his arm tightening around your chest, his breath tickling your hair.

He’s warm; he smells so familiar, his body against your back, the weight of him, the feel of his lips so close to your head. You could close your eyes, ignore the pain in your side, and pretend it’s Bucky who holds you, his skin pressed to yours, his hand warm on your skin.

You have no idea where you are, how far he’s taken you, how long it’s been. If Steve is alive, if they’re looking for you, what will happen when they find you.

He’s not Bucky. He’s the Winter Soldier. You should be scared out of your mind.

Instead, you feel safe and comforted, and you close your eyes to sleep again.

*

You wake with a start, the Soldier’s right hand over your mouth, his eyes hard and focused.

One metal finger over his lips. An unspoken order to be silent.

You stare at him, eyes wide and frightened, but you don’t make a sound.

And then you hear it; movement, from outside the door. The soft swick of a rappelling line. A light passing bright before it disappears.

The Soldier mouths to you, Move.

You nod, your heart pounding.

You don’t know where he found the clothes, but he helps you put them on; a sweatshirt, loose pants, canvas shoes without socks. You’re still exhausted, your side still aches from the stitches, and you hope you don’t have to run because you won’t stand a chance.

You don’t get a chance.

The Soldier waits by the door, you tucked between him and the wall, and the moment it opens, he presses your face into his chest.

The world erupts into hellfire. You feel the flame of it, hear the whoosh, the screams, the pops of their guns going off as the heat overwhelms the bullets.

You hear the Soldier grunt, shiver against you.

And then it settles into sparks and pops, and he pushes away from you for a moment, and you see the room in flames and ash.

He’d rigged the door to explode, the moment it opened. Four bodies on the ground, dressed in tactical gear and clearly dead.

You cover your mouth, almost sick, even when you see the familiar HYDRA symbol on one of their sleeves.

There’s a shout, and the Soldier rips the machine gun from the fingers of the agent who steps into the room, killing him without hesitation, and then killing three more on the balcony.

There’s blood on the back of his shoulder, oozing from a bullet wound, and you remember him grunting before.

The world goes quiet again.

“Move,” says the Soldier, taking you by the hand.

“You’re hurt—”

“Move.”

You follow him, out of the room and down the steps. You don’t recognize anything, but you think you’re in the mountains somewhere; the hills rise green around you, and there’s a particular smell to being in the middle of nowhere that’s fresh and clean, even with the low-level fire you’re leaving behind.

There’s a van in the parking lot; the Soldier yanks at the door and opens it for you; you crawl inside, while he goes around to the driver’s side.

You do your seatbelt with shaking fingers while he hot-wires the van, and then you’re gone, speeding away without a backward glance.

*

The Soldier has been driving for half an hour when you finally swallow your fear and turn to him.

“Are they following us?”

He’s quiet for a long moment, his eyes darting between the road and the mirrors, assessing.

“No.”

“Good.” You take a breath. “Pull over. You’re hurt.”

“No.”

You hate this, but…

“That’s an order, Soldier.”

He scowls, but he does what you ask, pulling to the side of the road, angling the van so that he can pull straight back out as quickly as possible.

“Turn around,” you say, trying to stay as calm and collected as you can. “Back to me, please.”

There’s blood on the back of the seat, in addition to what soaks the back of the shirts he’s wearing. The wound looks awful, right up on the high, meaty part of his shoulder. Had it hit his other side, it would have deflected off the metal, but maybe HYDRA knows where to disable him best.

It’s not through-and-through, either—but over the last half hour, the healing powers have been doing their damnedest to push the bullet out, and you see it now, shining dully under the blood.

You swallow, hard. “I need something to dig this out, so it can heal the rest of the way.”

“Glove box,” grunts the Soldier.

There’s not much in there; a few stray pens, some cleansing wipes, which are probably the closest you’ll get to sanitizing anything you actually use.

Then you spy it out of the corner of your eye; a multi-tool, under the owner’s manual. When you open it, one of the tools is a set of pliers.

It’s better than nothing.

You wipe it down with one of the wipes, then clean around the Soldier’s wound as best as you can. You’d remove the shirts entirely, except you doubt there’s anything else, and the last thing you need is him getting hypothermia and going into shock.

He might anyway.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper when he winces as you clean the area.

“Why?” he grunts.

“It’s going to hurt.”

“Do it.”

You swallow, and take a breath, and do it.

He doesn’t scream. But you hear it anyway. The bullet is slippery, and your hands shake too much to get a good hold at first, but then it pops right out and falls to the floor of the van, rolling away.

It’s a long, long moment before he turns, rolling his shoulders slowly, then reaches for the pliers that are so tight in your hand, he has to move each finger one by one until you’ve let go. They drop to the floor with a clatter.

“Done?” he says.

You nod.

“Good.” He touches your cheek, cradling it, rubbing his thumb on the tears that leak from your eyes. The skin between his eyes crinkles, like he’s never seen anyone crying before.

And then he turns back to the wheel, and continues to drive.

It’s a few minutes before you are calm enough to speak.

“Where are we going?”

“Safehouse.”

“Okay,” you whisper, and close your eyes to sleep.

Chapter 3 ->

[jacksgreysays]

Always happy to meet a fellow multishipper! Sorry I read you wrong 😅

As I've been trying to write that fic we talked about (which is finally a priority now that I've reached stopping points with other stories), I think I've found it why I struggle to come up with and write DOS fics. I don't think I have an accurate gage of Shikako's character. Have you ever struggled with that?

Also, thank you for answering my asks about more Hail to the Queen iterations. I love that stuff!

No worries! Shipping to me kinda feels more like personality/sexuality/circumstances puzzles as opposed to, like, a hill I’m willing to die on type of thing. A lot of my most interesting fics are the ones where someone prompts a pairing I never considered which leads me to figure out how such a pairing would work and, again, under what circumstances. It’s very fun :D

Oof, there are some fic that live in my head—not even as plot bunnies but, proto-bunnies. They’re not even ambulatory yet, lol—that will never see the light of day. Most of them involve Naruto and Kakashi. Not because I don’t love them, but because ahhhhh their character voices are SO DIFFICULT FOR ME. Naruto is more difficult than Kakashi because at least with Kakashi I have an idea of how he feels/his main motivation (sad all the time and GOTTA MAKE SURE NO ONE ELSE I LOVES DIES BEFORE I DO) but Naruto is just… O_O I don’t know… what… how do you make decisions, bro?

And this is probably a personality failing on my end but Naruto is just so trusting so often even when there have been so many cases where he shouldn’t be and he pulls the weirdest lessons from certain experiences and he loves to fight and loves jutsu that don’t do anything but cause harm but doesn’t believe in killing even though he lives in a world of shinobi and he wants to be Hokage in order to protect his precious people and he hates war but also he hates the things that a Hokage has to do in peacetime so it’s like… WHAT.

It may also be that he suffers from shounen protagonist syndrome which is that he is more of a force/narrative than a person so any contradictions in his decision making process is because that’s just what Kishimoto needed him to do at any given point.

My struggle with Kakashi is more that while I understand him internally, he’s so good at deflecting and zagging that there’s a strange sort of… layering to his dialogue and behavior that I’ve never quite managed to finesse. Like he says one thing and does another thing but what he ACTUALLY means is neither. It’s very look underneath the underneath

I’d like to think I have a good handle on Shikako’s character although it might be a sort of cyclical me reading DoS (literally the first First Person POV fic I didn’t nope out of after a chapter) and projecting onto Shikako turned into me podficcing DoS and internalizing Shikako which lead to me writing recursive DoS fic and going back to projecting onto recursive Shikako, etc.

Also, unsurprisingly given my ever faithful writer’s block and how I’m no longer as prolific as I used to be, there are a lot of other things I struggle with. For me I don’t think it’s the ideas that are the problem—my brainstorm to actual fic ratio on this blog is out of hand—but it’s the execution of idea into fic that is the worst. Or having cool concepts but not necessarily the background/foundation to manifest them.

Like, speaking of current fic idea that just… won't... just refuse to let me wrangle them... absolutely slip through my fingers...

@loveelemental helped me brainstorm a DoS crossover (won’t say what fandom at the moment) and it would be so dope, but I don’t actually know that other fandom very well even though my brain insists this is the fic it should be writing. Another problem is that, it’s PRIMARILY set in that other fandom AND THEN it’s not even Shikako that is the DoS character!

And I’m just like… WHY IS THIS WHAT MY BRAIN WANTS TO WRITE. WE DON’T KNOW THIS. I ALSO CAN’T COME UP WITH STUFF. EVERYONE IS AN ESTABLISHED CHARACTER WITH A DISTINCT VOICE AND NONE OF THEM ARE SHIKAKO!

So, yeah… the struggle is real.

I also very much enjoy brainstorming collaboratively with people. Often I don’t even think of things until I’m asked a question, so I also appreciate you sending in those Hail to the Queen asks. Legit, the She Who Has Divine Right in which Shikako takes over Haido’s failed invasion force because their literal god chose her over both him and the last of the royal bloodline is EXTREMELY entertaining to me and I don’t think I’d have ever come up with that by myself.

So thank you, too, aryaokayfriend! :D

[childishfluff]

The Feeling Of Family- A MCYT Agere/CGLRE fic (Regressors!SBI+Tubbo and Ranboo, Carer!Philza)

There was a very specific feeling that came to Ranboo when he met up with his internet friends. A weirdly comforting feeling, a reassurance that he had finally found his people.

It came to him with every hug from Tubbo, every teasing ruffle of his hair from Techno, every inappropriate joke he shared with Tommy. It clouded his mind every time he regressed with them, too, he didn't quite know how to describe it. But if he had to put a name to this odd emotion, he'd call it 'the feeling of family'.

A/N: get ready for a looooong ride. This was written over the course of two days, I really hope you guys like it! I haven't dropped a fic thats over 4000 words in a bit, I think. This is inspired loosely by Cypherr's (on ao3!!) fic 'four's a family', that's where I got the idea of Phil just being overwhelmed because there's so many babies to deal w/, so I'm crediting them! Though, this fic is much different then their's, but also please go read their fics they're great- anyways, I hope you enjoy! This fic is kinda (?) in Ranboo's pov (third person but like,,,you see his thoughts), but there's so much going on that it kinda feels like it's jumping around? Sorry for that, I'm used to writing w/a 2 littles max per caregiver ratio, so this was different. I've also never written Phil as a caregiver before besides his brief appearance over in my 'Mister Nook' series. okay I'm done rambling,,,enjoy the fic please!

--

There was a very specific feeling that came to him when he met up with his friends. A weirdly comforting feeling, a reassurance that he had finally found his people.

In an internet dad, a fellow faceless streamer who used a pig as his icon, a song writer, a bee-loving teenager, and another who was known for wearing red and white. He felt just a bit out of place in this dynamic, SBI were the ones that were close. SBI plus Tubbo wasn't an odd pairing either, and it almost seemed as if Ranboo was only there because Tubbo was.

But that doubt seemed to wash away with the welcoming energy that the car ride to Phil and Kristin's home was filled to the very brim with. Tommy and Wilbur arguing like brothers while Ranboo and Tubbo joked about. The half-joking stern look that Phil gave him through the rear view mirror when he made an inappropriate joke. The soft feeling that Techno teasingly ruffling his hair left in his chest.

This group felt like family.

Of course, he had a perfectly good set of parents back home, but this was different. In a good way, though. This home wasn't his, it was Phil's, but he was surprisingly comfortable here. He was comfortable with his close friends.

"Breakfast is ready!"

He jolted awake with a slight shock when he heard knocking and shouting outside of the door of the room he was staying in, the noise startling him from his sleep. He rubbed at his eyes and stretched his arms above his head as the sleepiness started fading from his mind, clocking the voice as Tommy's as he processed his surroundings. It was his second day at the Philza Minecraft's, the first being made up of mostly content creation.

They had all been shown to their respective guest rooms late last night after quite a few movies and a half-asleep conversation full of laughing and heartfelt emotions. Today was supposed to be a chill day, and the next they'd be exploring the area just around Phil and Kristen's home. It was Ranboo's second time in the UK, and just like last time, he wanted to explore and get a feel for the place he'd be temporarily living in.

He fished some clothes out of his suitcase, pulling them on and discarding his pajamas in a white laundry hamper he had been given for that exact purpose. Then, he sat on the bed, pulling out his phone and scrolling through it. He chuckled as he saw a picture of their entire group with a fan they had run into the day prior, just after he was picked up from the airport, remembering how many similar ones had been taken during his last meet up.

He thought back to the months he spent at Tubbo's house just a while ago, it was one of the funnest parts of his life if he was honest, and now he was right back in the UK for another long meet up. This one was supposed to be a month, at least. SBI and the Bee Duo all under one roof for an entire month! Twitter had freaked out completely when they heard of this arrangement.

During his last trip to the UK, he found out something interesting after revealing something about himself to Tubbo. He admitted to his habit of age regressing to his friend during a late night conversation, only to be met with a 'me too' and then being asked if he wanted to call some friends. This response had confused him, but he said agreed, figuring that there had to be some logic to this.

And after an hour long conversation with Techno, Tommy, Wilbur, and Phil, he learned about an ongoing secret dynamic between the group. Tommy, Tubbo, Phil, and Wilbur were all also regressors. This was a lot of information to process at around 6 am during an all-nighter, but he was glad to know he wasn't alone.

Almost immediately after finding out about his headspace, Phil insisted on taking care of him, messaging him more often and helping him regress over video calls. And over the process of a few weeks, Ranboo had been officially added to the group of littles Phil cared for regularly.

The man took the time to learn his headspace range, things that upset him, how to deal with him when he did misbehave (though the occasion was rare, especially compared to someone like Little Tommy), all in the name of making sure he was cared for. It was sweet, really, and sometimes the boy felt bad for all the man did for him.

He pushed these thoughts away as he heard his name called by his father figure from the kitchen. He groaned, exiting off of Twitter and making his way out of the room and down the hallway, through the living room and into the kitchen. "I'm coming, I'm coming," he mumbled, still tired. He took his seat between Tommy and Tubbo after entering the kitchen/dining area and was quite overwhelmed with the amount of greetings and 'good morning!'s' he got all at once.

"How'd you sleep, hun?" he smiled when he heard Kristin's voice, humming a bit, settling on responding to her instead of facing the rest of the ongoing chaos in the kitchen.

"Pretty good, I think. Still waking up, though," he admitted. He watched the woman bring a plate over to him, setting a stack of pancakes in front of him. "Thank you."

Before she got the chance to respond, Tommy was shouting all to loud for how early it was in the morning. He sounded whiny, too. "Why does he get his first? I was awake before him," he complained, earning a response from Wilbur as he entered the room, his obviously messy hair temporarily contained by a beanie.

"Maybe because he's not throwing a fit over everything like you are," He made his way over to the table as Phil shot the both of them a look. Ranboo minded his own business, digging into his food, he knew that he wasn't in trouble. The brown haired man sat next to Tommy, leaning back in his seat casually.

"Will, be nicer to your brother. And Tommy, be patient, or else both of you will be put in timeout the moment we finish eating." he threatened, half joking.

"What?" Tommy said, sounding shocked as his eyes went wide.

"I second that, none of us are little!" Tubbo finally spoke up after laughing at the situation the whole time.

"Tom-tom here is sure acting like a baby, though," Wilbur teased, sitting back up to ruffle the blond's hair, continuing even when the younger whined and attempted to shove his hand away. He only retracted it when Phil gave him another stern look.

"Stop teasing him and eat your food," he told him as Kristin brought over plates for Tommy and Wilbur. "Where's Techno?" Phil seemed like he wanted to continue talking to Wilbur, but was distracted when he noticed that someone was missing. Wilbur smirked, sticking his tongue out to Tommy, as if bragging about being let off the hook.

Even Ranboo could admit, even out of headspace, everyone seemed to fill their roles in the family dynamic well. Wilbur was the cocky middle brother who somehow simultaneously gets in the most trouble and gets away with everything, Techno is the oldest who's mostly calm but will join in on the antics when it seems fun, and Tommy's the youngest who will play the 'innocent' card at any chance he could get.

Ranboo and Tubbo's exact roles were a bit undecided, but they seemed to consist of a lot of watching the scene play out and somehow getting dragged into an argument they had nothing to do with. Phil acted as their dad, who kept peace between everyone and tried to keep things calm, while Kristen played the role of a sweet mother-type figure.

When they were little, it was a bit different, but the general feeling of family remained the same.

After a few chaotic minutes of gathering everyone up and calming everyone down, they were all sitting around the table and talking in a much more civil manner. Things got loud once again only a few minutes later when Tommy knocked over his cup of orange juice.

"Sorry!" he squeaked, "I didn't mean to!" he defended, looking up at Phil apologetically. He immediately seemed much younger, a light pout on his lips as he apologized for his clumsiness.

"It's alright, Toms." the man assured, flashing a soft smile to let the regressor know that he was alright, reaching for the paper towels across the table. In just a few moments it was like there was never a spill in the first place. "Can you get him a sippy cup, please?" he asked Kristin, who immediately set off to get the requested item.

"I told you he was a baby," Wilbur spoke up next, predictably earning protests from the clearly regressing boy next to him.

"I'm not a baby!" the younger cried, looking to his other  "Techno, tell him I'm not a baby!"

"I mean, only babies need sippy cups," the other man leaned a bit closer the table, his words causing the teenager's eyes to widen.

"Can't Kristin just refill dis one?" he questioned, holding up the cup he had knocked over and looking to Phil hopefully.

"Sorry, buddy, I just don't want you to make another mess." Phil sighed, shooting a disappointed look towards Wilbur and Techno. Ranboo sunk further into his seat, trying to avoid getting pulled into the conflict. He wasn't sure how the others could handle Phil's 'disappointed look' so easily, the boy was very much scared of it.

"I'm not gonna!" Tommy whined, practically glaring at the cup that was set in front of him a moment later. He huffed and crossed his arms, refusing to drink or eat anything.

"This is what happens when you make fun of him, he gets all insecure and stubborn," Tubbo groaned, rolling his eyes as if they had been through this process a million times over.

"Tubbo's right, apologize to him," the oldest man ordered. Wilbur and Techno looked at him as if this suggestion was completely outrageous, so he added, "Now."

"Okay, okay!" Wilbur gave in, sounding defensive, "I'm sorry, Toms. You're not a baby."

"Really?" he lowered his arms, finally uncrossing them.

"No, you're just clumsy and we're sorry for making fun of you for it," Techno sounded very reluctant, but he followed Phil's orders. After these apologies, the rest of breakfast went fairly smoothly. By the end of it, Tommy was very obviously fully regressed and making a useless attempt to hide it.

It was a fairly often occurrence that Tommy slipped just for fun, acting and being treated like a kid was something he just liked. He got to be the annoying little brother and watch cartoons while he did it, it was a win-win across the board.

But Phil and Kristin knew, that whenever one of them slipped over their voice chats, anyone else in the discord call would too. And now, they were all actually together under one roof, so he was sure he'd have five littles to deal with by noon at latest.

--

As predicted, all of the boys ended up in littlespace, slipping one after another like a line of dominoes getting knocked over. After some reassurance from Phil, Tommy allowed himself to slip, and he dragged his best friend into a game of pretend. And the two toddler minded teenagers decided they wanted to play with Techno and Ranboo as well, and Wilbur soon followed when Phil babied him a bit to much.

At first, it was quite loud, and there was a lot of conflict and disagreements between the boys. Eventually, after everyone but Ranboo had managed to get in some sort of trouble, Phil sat the boys down to watch cartoons. Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur were out like a light one episode in. Wilbur was in babyspace, he always needed extra sleep, and Tommy tired himself out by crying when he assumed Phil was upset with him.

Tubbo, however, was just tired. No excuse, that's just how he was sometimes.

Ranboo and Techno were older then the rest of them, and far more behaved, so they didn't get quite as much attention earlier in the day. Phil was quite busy comforting Wilbur and trying to keep Tommy and Tubbo in check, and it didn't help that Kristin had to leave the house. To make up for this, Phil wanted to do something special with them while the other three took their mid-day naps.

After a while of Ranboo and Techno watching cartoons, trying to stay quiet so that their friends could sleep peacefully, Phil spoke up.

"Boys, quietly follow me," he whispered, managing to get out from under from where Wilbur was laying cuddling up to him without waking the boy up. Techno and Ranboo glanced at each other, seemingly confused but intrigued. They scrambled to get up, following their caregiver into the kitchen.

"What are we doin', dada?" Techno questioned once they entered the other room. They had left the cartoons on, so Phil was fairly sure they wouldn't be able to hear what was going on in the kitchen.

"You guys are gonna be my little helpers for snack time, okay? I got some special treats and such for everyone and we need to put everything together before everyone gets up!" the man explained in a quiet but excited tone, speaking even quieter as if his next words were a secret, "And if you guys do a good job, I'll even give you an extra cookie."

Ranboo's face immediately lit up, and he bounced on his feet as he awaited more instructions. Phil specifically chose him and Techno out of all of them, they must be special. It was like a super secret mission, just for them!

"So we're all gonna have fruit and vegetables before we get to the sweets," he continued on, going over the fridge and pulling out various fruits and vegetables, "Techno, could you wash the strawberries and blueberries for me?" he asked.

"Mhm!" he agreed, excited to be able to help. It seem weird that Phil's idea of "something special" was just putting them to work, it was more about the idea of making them feel special. They were more well behaved then everyone else, so they got extra time with Phil and a cookie.  

"What do I get to do?" Ranboo questioned. He watched as Technoblade took the containers with the fruit he was told to wash over to the sink.

"Are you big enough to pour drinks for everyone?" he questioned, pulling various new sippycups and bottles from a hidden spot in one of the cabinets. The two littles gasped, completely distracted from their tasks, "Yes, some of these are for you two." he chuckled at their excitement, coming over to Ranboo and holding out a simple but cute black and white sippy cup.

"I thought maybe you could put stickers on it," Phil explained. The boy nodded quickly, practically attacking him in a hug. "Okay, go on, get to work now." he said, motioning over to the counter where the rest of them sat.

As requested, they got to work. Techno helped wash the fruit and put then on their plates, while Ranboo filled the sippy cups and bottles with whatever drink each one of them liked best. His demise came when he tried to sneak soda into his sippy cup without asking, and he managed to spill it all over the counter.

"Uh oh! Spill on aisle Ranboo!" Phil joked, grabbing the paper towels and running over to help. Immediately, the boy panicked. He was the well behaved one, and Phil was gonna find out that he was trying to be sneaky! His guilt was obviously clear to the caregiver, because the next thing he said was, "Don't worry, accidents happen."

The gentle and reassuring tone he used only made him feel worse. It only took the man a moment to actually realize what the boy had been pouring into the cup. "Ranboooo," the caregiver held out his words, sounding disappointed, "You know that you could've asked for soda if you really wanted it, right? You've been so good all day, I would've given it to you."

"Really?" he asked, pouting when the man took the cup and dumped the liquid in the sink. He then ripped paper towels from the roll and wiped up the remainder of the drink from the counter.

"Yeah, I would've," Phil affirmed, "But trying to sneak around me isn't okay. You told me you were putting juice in here. That's lying, and I know for a fact that you're big enough to know that's not allowed. " he tsked, causing Ranboo to look down at his feet.

"M' sorry," he mumbled, ready to cry over such a small thing. He knew what he was doing was dumb, Phil rarely let them have sweets like that when they were small due to the fact that they got hyper.

"Don't cry, sweetheart, you're not in trouble," the man assured with a sigh, softening his tone immediately, rinsing the cup out as he spoke. Ranboo still felt bad, despite the gentle reassurance. He glanced up to see the man filling his cup with his favorite drink besides the over sugary soda: strawberry lemonade. "Here you go." he tightened the lid onto it and held it out for him.

"Sorry, dada," he apologized again, his eyes still glassy as he took it in his hands. Phil sighed a bit, opening his arms and pulling him close.

"You're okay, buddy, I promise you." he spoke gently, "Little boys make mistakes sometimes, it's alright." The man knew that while Ranboo might've been regressed to an older age, he was still quite sensitive, and he always felt overly bad whenever he got in trouble. Even if he had managed to get away with sneaking the soda, he would've owned up to what he did guiltily after just a few sips of the drink.

That's just how he was.

"M' all done!" Techno's voice interrupted them as he finished placing the snack-filled plates in their spot at the table, besides their respective sippy cups. Phil pulled away from the other regressor and ruffled his hair, smiling at him before addressing the other little.

"Good job, honey. You're such a good helper," he complimented, before looking back to Ranboo. "And so are you." he reminded. Ranboo giggled a bit, feeling happiness well up in his chest at the praise despite any childish guilt. The giggles only increased when his caregiver tapped the button of his nose, causing him to scrunch it up.

Once he was sure that Ranboo was alright, or at least doing a bit better, he gave them their next instructions. One good thing about Ranboo was that it was easy to sway his emotions to the more positive end if it was done before any tears came. "Take your seats and eat, I'm gonna wake up your brothers and have them pick up their toys from earlier, then they'll join you." he told them, before leaving the room.

Technoblade's eyes followed Phil as he exited the room, and he waited until he was sure he was out of earshot to say anything. "Psst, 'anboo," Techno leaned close to the table, grabbing the other boy's attention.

"Wha'?" he questioned, popping a grape in his mouth and tilting his head in curiousity.

"We should scare daddy when he comes back in! It'll be so cool," he suggested, "We can wait by the door and jump out!"

"Hmm...," Ranboo looked over to where the other pointed, considering his options, "We 'posed to be eatin'." he pointed out, shaking his head.

"We won' get in trouble, it's just playin' round," he tried to sound convincing. It seemed to work, because Ranboo reconsidered, before hesitantly nodding. He grabbed one more grape and his sippy cup before standing up, Techno leading him over to the entrance of the room. They were concealed behind the wall on either side of the doorway.

They listened Phil woke the others up and helped them put the toys away, excitement ramping up as they waited. To their shock, Tommy entered first, fully ready to greet him in his usual loud tone. Techno quickly put his finger to his lip, shaking his head to signal him to be quiet. Tommy's eyes widened as he realized what was happening, deciding to duck behind the with his older brother.

It was then that Phil entered, carrying Wilbur. The boys jumped out from their spots, exclaiming different variations of "boo!" and "AHH!", breaking out into giggles immediately after. Wilbur squeaked, the sound startling him a bit, but he didn't seem upset. "Well hello, little ones," Phil chuckled, "If I remember correctly, you boys are supposed to be at the table."

"Jus' wanted to scare you! We go eat now," Techno assured, taking Tommy's wrist in his hand and pulling him over to the table. Ranboo however, peeked behind Phil to see if Tubbo was coming.

"Where Tubs at?" he pulled on Phil's shirt before he could walk away, whining a bit.

"He had a bit of an accident," the man admitted, "He's a bit smaller now, but he'll be out soon, okay?"

"Okay..." he trailed off, looking out into the living room, completely set on standing there until his best friend was able to join him.

"How about you head over to the table, kiddo?" his caregiver questioned, earning a pout from the little. "Okay, okay, you can wait here for him!" he decided, figuring there was nothing wrong with it. With a forehead kiss, Phil left him at the doorway.

"Tubbo! We gots apple slices for you!" he rambled excitedly when his friend finally did arrive, running towards him and grabbing his hand. He started to pull him further into the kitchen, but the mentally younger of the two stumbled a bit, seemingly clumsier then he was earlier in the day.

Ranboo realized that he had a pacifier in his mouth now, and he saw Phil replacing his sippy cup with a bottle out of the corner of his eye. He had worked hard to put apple juice in that sippy cup, he thought, pouting a bit.

"M' sorry, didn' mean to make you almost fall! We can go slow," he decided, earning a thankful smile from the other regressor. "Are you gonna say anything?" he asked, walking beside him. As they approached the table, Phil replied for the boy.

"He's a bit younger, bud, he might not be up for talking," he explained, "You know what it's like to be so little that you feel like a baby. Can we all be understanding? He's only a bit older then Wilbur at the moment." "

Tubbo seemed quite embarrassed as he sunk into his seat, pulling his pacifier from his mouth to eat his food. There were sounds of agreement around the table. Ranboo was curious as to what exactly made Tubbo slip so much younger then he usually did, but he didn't voice this curiosity, settling on eating his food in favor of not embarrassing his friend anymore then he already was. .

"These are yucky!" Tommy claimed, pushing his plate with carrots and ranch away from him.

"You like carrots and ranch, what are you talking about?" Phil sounded tired and just a bit annoyed.

"Don' want em," he shook his head, whining just as he had that morning when Wilbur teased him.

"If you eat them you'll get a cookie," the caregiver bribed.

"What type of cookie?" the toddler minded boy squinted his eyes, as if considering this, as if it was a negotiation of sorts.

"Sugar cookie, chocolate chip, I think we have Oreos too...whatever you could want," this definitely caught the boys interest.

"Chocolate chip?" his eyes went wide with excitement, which was only intensified when Phil nodded. Immediately, he uncrossed his arms and pulled his plate back towards him. Phil seemed satisfied with this, ruffling his hair.

The boys were still waking up, so Phil asked them to talk about their elaborate games from earlier in the day to keep them occupied. So, as they ate their snacks, they giggled about imaginary wars and adventures and argued over who won their dramatic plastic sword duels. Eventually, the caregiver gave them their promised sweets before sending them back off to play.

"Ranboo, you left your sippy cup in the kitchen," Phil tapped the boy's shoulder and distracted him from his game of peek-a-boo with Tubbo. He quickly discovered that his friend seemed much to little to participate in any games he'd usually play, so he did what he always saw Phil do with Wilbur: play a simpler one.

It was obviously much more entertaining for the littler of the two, but Ranboo was happy to hear his friend's giggles and squeaks. "Oh! Thanks, dada!" the boy reached up to take his sippy cup from the caregiver as he was sitting on the floor and Phil was standing. Ranboo gasped when he took a drink, feeling bubbles on his tongue.

Immediately, Phil put a finger to his lips and gave him a warning look. This made the boy giggle a bit as he nodded, understanding the signal. "Thank you!" he repeated, smiling when his hair was ruffled softly. The moment didn't last long, Tommy called Phil over for something, and it was back to peek-a-boo with his best friend.

Ranboo didn't mind it, though, peek-a-boo was fun. Being with everyone was fun, even if it meant he got a bit less attention due to there being so much going on. It all evened out, he got to be a snack time helper! And he got an extra cookie! If you asked him, that was pretty awesome.

In the next few days, they'd all get back into making more collaborative content, as that was the point of this meet up, but for now, it was just time to play. To spend time together, to cuddle, and giggle, and make far to much noise in the name of fun. To just be a family.

That was the specific feeling that came to Ranboo with this meet up. The comforting feeling that bubbled in his chest whenever he got a forehead kiss or his hair ruffled by Phil, or when he played babyish games with his friends when they regressed younger then him.

This was the thing that clouded his mind whenever he regressed with this group specifically, or when they were in the car, joking about anything and everything as they got closer and closer to their destination. A feeling that consistently made his life better, the feeling that brought a smile to his face everyday...

The Feeling of Family.

--

A/N: I really hope you liked that adorable mess of 4500 words! I appreciate reblogs and likes, but no matter what, thanks for reading to the end! Did you like the chaotic feeling that five littles/so many people brought into my fic? I kinda had to switch up my normal formulas to make room for so many characters, there's a reason I literally put three character to sleep halfway through the fic hjsikajsa. Did I write Phil well? I tried to portray how a caregiver w/so many littles would act somewhat realistically? Kind of overwhelmed but managing. Also, did you like me portraying ranboo as 'the angle little' of the group? idk I felt like it fit his personality in the scenario. If you reply with/send an ask/reblog with feedback, you can answer those questions, leave a request for something (whether it be in the universe father into the month-long meetup timeline I set up or just another fic), state your general opinions on the fic, or just leave a strand of emojis if words are hard. No matter what, it means a lot! I hope you all have a great day!!!!

[sitp-recs]

Drarry for Beginners: Bond fics

Timeshare by astolat (2016, M, 14k)

“It’s not for long,” Hermione said. “By the time we get back to Hogwarts, the Unfettering Brew will be ready.”

“Listen to you!” Ron said. “He’s got to get through a month with the Dursleys and a month at Malfoy Manor. With Draco Malfoy.”

I’ll probably rec everything by astolat at some point because they’re just that good. This is the first Drarry fic of theirs I’ve ever read and it’s such a surprising little tale! I love the pain-sharing concept and Draco’s voice is amazing, insufferable and posh and he’s a little shit to the Dursleys, which is enough to enjoy this fic. Now add impressive back story and slow burn. There’s a lot packed in 14k and things go from funny to serious in a heartbeat without feeling rushed or floppy. I especially love the quiet and heartfelt moments where they start to connect by figuring each other out. Clever and unique!

That Old Black Magic by @bixgirl1 (2019, E, 77k)

Centuries ago, marriage contracts were the norm — ready-made alliances between families, expected and complied with, without complaint. But norms have a way of changing, and when a long-dormant contract flares to life, Harry has to navigate an unexpected splintering of the path he'd thought would be easy after the war... with Draco Malfoy.

Listen, arranged marriage won’t get any better than this. This fic is a masterpiece - creative, powerful and breathtaking. The bonding rituals linked to the house are fascinating and deliver the most beautiful enemies to lovers journey, combining fast sexual burn and slow emotional development. There are so many complicated feels playing here, so much resistance and resentment as Harry and Draco are forced to get intimate and vulnerable with each other. The build up is hot but devastating and almost too much to handle until it’s not, until they fall in love and everything becomes hopeful and tender as they learn each other again for the first time, and that’s when you realize you want to live inside this story forever. This is one of those rides that hits you just right in the feels and leaves your heart aching in its wake.

Bond series by AnnaFugazzi (2005, NC-17, 204k)

Yet another one of those Harry And Draco Are Forced To Be Together By Something Beyond Their Control And Then Stuff Happens Leading To Twoo Wuv stories. Because every HD writer has to write at least one.

A timeless fandom classic that set the bar for all the bonding fics that came after. I’m always awed by the fact that this was written back in 2005 and remains one of the best and most creative takes on this trope. One thing I love about this impressive novel is that it doesn’t beat around the bush; it goes straight for the bond incident and explores how Harry and Draco deal with it while standing on opposite sides of the war. This epic aged well thanks to an engaging plot and consistent character development that follows Harry and Draco growing both individually and together. Peak enemies to lovers with a little magical help 👌🏼

Drarry for Beginners: Soulmates

you've got the antidote for me by Kandakicksass (2018, M, 20k)

When Harry Potter unintentionally severs their soulbond before it can fully form, Draco Malfoy resigns himself to a slow death and decides not to burden Harry with a soulmate he's made it very clear he doesn't want. He's never been selfless before, but for Harry, he can try.

A brutal yet brilliant read, with hardcore angst and a devastating ratio of 90% hurt - 10% happiness but it’s so wonderfully written. I find the concept of severed soulbonds absolutely genius and Draco’s redemption path is moving and bittersweet despite the heartbreak. His fierce and stubborn self-sacrificing persona is fascinating and convincing. I’m also utterly in love with this Ron Weasley. It’s refreshing to see him so caring and generous - in fact, his genuine friendship with Draco is a saving grace through so much hurt. If you enjoy catharsis with a happy ending, this is a must read!

Vortex by @xanthippe74 (2020, T, 20k)

“Don’t worry, my dearest one,” Draco’s mother told him when he confided his worries to her. When he was old enough to feel the pangs of adolescent longing, but still too young to sense the storm gathering around them. “Magic will overcome any distance or obstacles to bring two soulmates together when the time is right. Circumstances will arise that steer them in the right direction; strange coincidences will make their paths cross again and again. Then the most wondrous moment arrives, when you both realize that your soulmate, your perfect match, stands before you, and from that day forward your hearts will be one.”

Hands down my favorite soulmate story. It is also focused on Draco’s individual struggle of coming to terms with his fate (can you tell I’ve got a weak spot for his POV?). It’s bittersweet but also inspiring in a gentle and healing way. I love how @xanthippe74 builds these layered, resilient characters, all while sewing amazing social commentary within the plot. The slow burn is almost poetic - beautiful dialogue, a tentative partnership to help the outcasts and only then Harry and Draco come together, so naturally it feels almost like an afterthought. It’s amazing to see Draco coming a long way, from self-sabotaging to believing he deserves true happiness. Treat yourself and experience this powerful, thought-provoking redemption tale.

Written on the Heart by who_la_hoop (2016, E, 113k)

When he’s hit by an illegal love-spell though, Harry finds he has more to worry about than whether or not Blaise Zabini actually wants to be his friend. For if everyone affected has been blessed – or cursed, by the look on Malfoy’s face – with a magical tattoo revealing the name of their soulmate, what does it mean that Harry’s skin remains completely bare?

This fic is unparalleled when it comes to world building. The magical tattoos are a visually stunning concept, and the author establishes a rich, fun and engaging 8th year universe. I love how the plot explores Harry’s issues but also gives other characters room to shine. Blaise is a triumph, snarky, insufferable and as much a protagonist as Harry and Draco. He holds all characters together through amazing inter-house dynamics. The warm and captivating Hogwarts atmosphere is familiar and full of mundane bonding moments, the perfect setting for this sweet slow burn between a pining Draco and a gentle yet oblivious Harry. You’ll read 100k in one sitting without even noticing, so why not start right now :)

[rpf-bat]

I was tagged by @rosalba-robi to talk about my top 5 favorite fics that I’ve written (thank you 🖤)

1. Three Summers In Hanko (Blind Channel, Joel/Joonas)

Of course I have to promote my Summerfest fic!! It’s fresh in my mind, because it’s my most recent project. It was a gift for @hellogemmabc, but I don’t think she’s read it yet. 🤔

It’s written from the POV of Teen!Joonas.

And it takes place from 2009-2011, which is when I myself was a teenager and had my first summer romance lol ☀️

2. Heaven Or Hell (Blind Channel, Niko/Joel)

Angel!Joel x Demon!Niko is still one of the best ideas I’ve ever had 😇 😈

And Demon!Niko is a complete asshole…which was really fun to write. 😂

It’s not “dove” fic or anything, but for me, who had spent the last five years writing almost nothing but G rated fluff, it was a huge genre shift. There’s a ton of implied sex, but very little romance, and every character in this AU is a terrible person.

I loved it so much that I wrote a part two and a part three. There was originally going to be a part four, but I lost motivation after part three wound up having a really terrible hits/kudos ratio. 😞💔

Part three had Aleksi getting drunk and letting Niko and Joel spit roast him in a concert venue bathroom….you’d think more people would want to read that, right? 😳😏

Then again, maybe people thought it was poorly written….it was my first time writing sexual stuff, after all. 🤔

3. So Close To The Edge (Blind Channel, Joel/Aleksi)

As mentioned above, the thing I’m most known for/have the most experience writing is sugary fluff, and this was that. ^^;

It was written for the BC Christmas event in December 2021. 🎅🏻🎄

But it was also important because it was my first M/M fic!! Before joining the BC fandom, I had spent the last 5 years writing MCR reader inserts. So, the first few BC oneshots I wrote, were reader inserts, as well.

But, I quickly realized that the BC fandom seems to prefer M/M over M/F?? Not sure why, because the MCR fandom was definitely the opposite. But I’m happy that my first foray into gay romance writing was so well received 😅🏳️‍🌈

4. Someone Get Me To A Church (My Chemical Romance, Gerard/Reader)

I wrote this for a super fun Halloween themed challenge back in October 2020!

The prompt was “exorcist”.

Demon!Frank taunts Priest!Gerard about his forbidden crush on Y/N, while he’s trying to perform an exorcism. ✝️😈

5. I (Don’t) Wanna Be Your Slave (Måneskin, Damiano/Reader)

This was like…my first multichapter RPF fic ever! I’m normally a oneshot person ^^;

Unfortunately, I kinda abandoned it when my neurodivergent brain decided to switch hyperfixations, from Må to BC. 🤷‍♀️

It was an interesting plot. Right after Eurovision, someone joked that they wanted to see a “my mom sold me to Måneskin” fic. 😂

I was like “I’ll do it!” But, the twist is that Damiano is actually a good person…he only “bought” Y/N so that he could immediately free her from slavery. 🥺

I’ll tag @robinruns and @darkerthanblack666-ao3 to post theirs!

[jade-marie]

Top 10 books fics I read in 2020

Tagged by @sothischickshe

I don’t read books. I’m trash. So have my top 10 fics. These aren’t in any real order, btw.

Finally got round to adding some content to each one. Send word to my family, I died doing this. All the fluffy goodness is hitting me right in the feels😭😭😭

Do not collect $200 by @mrslackles

My OG favourite series. I will talk about this till the cows come home, I will read it over and over again until the day I die. So fucking good. The plot, the characterisation, the angst, the fluff, it just has everything and I fucking love it.

Favourite snippet:

Her touch is so light that Rio shivers and his tongue darts out for a second, meeting two of her fingers, and it makes their eyes meet.

And the look she finds there, god, it’s indescribable – no words, there are no words. Yet she knows what it means. Nobody’s ever told me I’m a good kisser and nobody’s ever touched you like this.

She doesn’t say it aloud but it doesn’t matter, not really. They both know it.

And Beth doesn't know when she falls asleep, only that it's with her palm on his throat and her fingers splayed over his lips.

Lush life by @hereliesbb

Lush life is basically my comfort blanket. I have a bad day, I read it and I’m smiling again. Every time. Without fail. The fluffiest fucking shit I’ve ever read in my life, even the angst is fluffy. I love it so much, I cannot find the words. 

Favourite snippet:

“What?” she asked when she saw he was staring. She looked back in the mirror to make sure she didn’t have anything in her teeth.

“You’re beautiful,” he said and then huffed like he was making fun of himself. Beth felt her face flush and about a hundred thousand butterflies take flight inside of her.

Warm water by @inyoursheets

Angst, yearning, friends to lovers, slow burn AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES. Such a good read omg 😫

Favourite snippet:

She kisses him.

Elizabeth. Elizabeth kisses him.

He can’t move—can’t think, not with her up close, her scent overwhelming him, her soft body pressed into him—when she’s already pulling back, jerking to a halt.

And just like that, he’s done. Finished. Can no longer find it in him to keep it up, his carefully crafted indifference, the control he tried to grasp so eagerly. No point guarding it from her any longer, not with those wild, wide eyes peering up at him like he can give her something, here, now.

Good sport by fireinsideforfun

Again, phenominal characterisation. I love the way she portrays their vulnerability. It’s just so so so beautifully written. 

Also, the image of Rio drowning in a pair of ginormous pyjamas makes me feel some shit🤣

 Favourite snippet:

“You’re not going to go rotten on me, are you darlin’?” he quietly asks her.

The question takes her aback, because although his voice is gentle his eyes are speaking volumes, something dark and desolate brewing.

“No. Never,” she says to him and means it.

He scoffs. “How can you know?”

“Because we’ve already been there before,” she says, and she can tell he knows what she’s referring to. “I already tried to get rid of the king and I couldn’t do it. We’ve been through those motions together. It’s done.”

Milkshakes by @emilykolburn

Dad Rio vibes, Rio and babies. Milkshake meetcute. I cannot. Literally so adorable.

Favourite snippet:

Rio was looking her up and down, slowly taking in every inch of her that he could, and she noted that he had that twinkle in his eyes again. When his eyes eventually found hers, he tilted his head to the side a little, tongue running slowly across his bottom lip. The intensity in the eye contact alone made her want to shrink away. She wasn’t used to it, she realised, but the longer they looked into each other’s eyes, and the way the corner of his mouth slowly twitched up into a smirk, she found she liked it.

Irresistible by @wakeupflawless

Highschool au. Enemies to lovers. I eat that shit UP.

Before anyone could say anything, she grabbed the front of his shirt, yanking him down to her for a very public, very dirty kiss.

“Oh, shit,” She heard Pedro say.

For once in his life Rio must have been stunned, because he was frozen against her for a moment. He grabbed her hips, pulling her closer to him and deepening the kiss. The bystanders erupted, she heard hoots and hollers coming from the guys and exclamations of “Oh my God!” from the girls.

“Hey! That’s enough” Called the Vice Principal, “Everyone get to class!”

Beth broke their kiss, panting slightly and grinning ear to ear.

“What was that?” Rio asked, raising his eyebrows.

“So everyone knows I’m hittin’ it,” Beth replied, smirking, “And also to say sorry,”

Love despite by @itsbriology

Dad Rio strikes again. If Lindsay throws in one more big-hand-small-baby-ratio reference... i’m pretty sure my ovaries will explode inside of my body and I’ll die of internal bleeding 🙃🙃🙃

Favourite snippet:

The hiccups lasted longer than he thought, almost to the point he wondered if there wasn’t something else he could do for her. But they eventually slowed and so did her tears, and then he stopped and looked down at her little head full of soft brown hair that had landed on his chest and watched her eyes drift shut again from the pure exhaustion of the near traumatizing event.

“There ya go, sleepy head. See, I told ya.” He laughed down at her as he continued holding her and pushing the cart down the aisle. A little old lady stopped and took in the sight of them.

“Someone’s a good daddy,” She smiled up at him with Jane cozy in his arms and he stopped. The lady looked to be about eighty and probably weighed seventy pounds.

“Uhh, no… this ain’t…” He tried telling her but she interrupted.

“What an adorable little girl you’ve got there.”

The lady looked up at them grinning.“Thank you.” He smiled back, not knowing what else to say in that moment.

Criminology 101 by @sdktrs12

College au. Cars being destroyed. Fluffy shit. Idiots being idiots. LOVE ITTTTT

He moves one hand up to brush her hair out of her face. “Do you trust me?”

I do that’s the whole problem, she wants to scream. She finds herself nodding quietly instead.

“That’s good.” He leans down, presses his lips against her temple in a soft kiss that makes her heart skip a beat.

Beth closes her eyes as she leans into him, giving in and letting herself fall into the dark abyss that is his touch, his smell, his voice.

Shit.

She’s in so much trouble.

Both sides of the law by @joeyjoeylee

Slow burn. Y E A R N I N G. But they don’t even know they’re yearning. Taking the constant oneupmanship and translating it into a law school setting - genius. So so good.

Favourite snippet:

“Shouldn’t you be at the bar?” She really needed to let Gretchen know some of the staff had a distinct professionalism problem. If, or when, she was in charge of throwing the party next year, she’d have to make sure they did a better job of recruiting the help.

“Was just there, actually.” He wiggled his hand to show her the beer bottle he was holding. “But Gretch got on me ‘bout not having my nametag.”

She was confused and a little scandalized. Was he really drinking on the job? And…”Gretch”? He had to mean Gretchen? Granted, Beth barely knew her, but Gretchen hadn’t seemed like someone who would be on a first name basis with the staff. And why would he have a nametag? Nametags were for the students, and he was just a bartender…

Oh.

Oh no.

Everything seemed suddenly to be moving very slowly and she seemed to be watching it all unfold from outside her own body.

She watched him lean closer again to reach behind her and pick up the last nametag from the table.

She watched him pluck the Sharpie from her hand and use it to cross out “Christopher” then write “Rio” in big block letters that still managed to look messy.

Then she watched as he made a production of pinning the nametag just so to his lapel, mirroring her, exact and mocking, grinning down at her all the while.

Oh no.

A time to kill @sothischickshe

JUSTICE FOR MICK. And his shirt. Poor bby did not sign up for dealing with these two dumbasses and their dumbassery. Grumpy Rio pov is always a winner in my book. It’s comedy gold.

Favourite snippet:

Jesus, her hair is past lank. He sniffs. “You’re ripe. Go shower, man.”

Elizabeth grumbles incessantly until he agrees she can have coffee first, but he draws a line under a single cup, demanding she hurry.

Rio opens the windows wide as they allow. There’s a distinct scent of manure in the air, but it honestly might be preferable.

“That shirt needs washing too!” he yells from a safe nasal distance.

She literally punts the shirt at him from the bathroom, before slamming then locking the door. The handle vibrates for ages after.

He debates sourcing some tongs to handle the offending item with. When he can’t find any, considers setting fire to it instead. Surely Elizabeth can make herself a dress outta all the hair she incessantly moults over every inch or some shit.

Eventually he chucks it in for a wash with some other bits, holding his nose closed.

Elizabeth’s in the bathroom for fucking ages. He assumes it’s payback for pointing out she stunk, or whatever. But it ain’t cute.

He jiggles the handle, knocks on the door. There’s no response.

“Oi!” Rio shouts. “Hurry up, I gotta piss!” It’s not, strictly speaking, true. But. It could be. Hogging the bathroom’s just rude.

“Go away!” she squawks. Then, “Go outside!”

He keeps it up, and she mostly ignores him. Though when he insinuates she’s taking the world’s longest shit, she does straight up tell him to fuck off.

Tagging @purplemagic @wakeupflawless @00gangfriend00 @joeyjoeylee

[snorlaxlovesme]

how about that adam dude from that thing you like which I haven't read but appreciate your enthusiasm for?

laura i owe you my life

Sexuality Headcanon:

bisexual! adam is confirmed to be sexually attracted to multiple genders and we are proud of him for it

Gender Headcanon:

while it seems like his understanding of gender definitely gets more complex in college since he’s made a nonbinary friend, I don’t think that Adam is the type to examine his OWN gender under a lens like that and probably sticks to seeing himself as rigidly masculine and sticks to those constructs. but i enjoy the fact that despite coming from such a conservative upbringing he becomes friends with Elliott within the first few months of starting school, which means that almost IMMEDIATELY after leaving Henrietta behind he’s already broadening his horizons.

A ship I have with said character:

tbh i ship adam with like everyone in the gang? except maybe noah bc they have very few interactions together. 

obviously ronan is endgame and pynch is very close to my heart and that goes without saying. i genuinely can’t get over that, from adam’s POV at leasy, he’s living the Enemies to Lovers trope in real time. book 1 adam hates ronan so. fucking. much. for the majority of the book. if only you had your tarot cards in TRB, parrish, you coulda foreseen that soon you’d be letting that fucker kiss your knuckles in every other scene of CDTH

adam/gansey is another fan favorite but, like much of the fandom, i see gansey EASILY being head over heels for adam while adam’s feelings back are a lot more complicated. adam loves gansey the person but viscerally hates gansey’s privilege, which, like it or not makes up a large part of who gansey is. so as fun as adansey is for the memes, it would be a hard ship to actually make work because I feel like gansey would spend a lot of mental energy unravelling parts of himself to appease adam and adam would have to unpack a LOT of his bullshit so gansey wouldn’t have to do that.

and i don’t care what anyone thinks, book 1 adam/blue is still adorable to me. i know their relationship went sour (and honestly never fully built itself back up again, something that still grates my nerves bc i woulda liked some closure with those two) but the awkward flirting and sweet puppy love thing they have going on in TRB still makes me smile. like??? the baby’s breath bouquet??? i’ll never be over that. never.

A BROTP I have with said character:

adam and opal! seeing them bond in the TRK Opal special was fantastic and i wish we could have gotten more content of them doing normal every day things. i also want them to team up to torment ronan

A NOTP I have with said character:

uhh. there aren’t many people he’s shipped with outside of ronan and gansey really. 

i guess i’m against the idea of tad caruthers/adam. purely bc if tad annoys adam in canon he annoys me as well.

A random headcanon:

even tho being Deaf in one ear doesn’t exactly necessitate the use of sign language all the time, its helpful for adam to have it as a back-up in crowded, public spaces where its hard to concentrate on one person talking, in areas with a lot of overwhelming background noise, etc. everyone in the gang learns it, but since adam and ronan see each other most often they learn it the fastest/know the most vocab. do they use it for the aformentioned reasons listed above? rarely. mostly they use ASL to talk shit about their friends in front of them and it bothers the SHIT out of gansey and blue that now those fuckers are fluent in TWO languages that they’re not.

General Opinion over said character:

still one of my favorite characters of all time. i was hooked in book one just by how similar our thought processes were on all things re: money and seeing his growth in all aspects of his life is just *chef’s kiss*

he’s cold and he’s observant and he’s clever and he’s harsh and he’s bright and intense and he’s stubborn and he’s self-preserving and he’s TRYING HIS BEST and I’m just so impressed with the level of care his character got and how much he was able to grow! like i know its not a 1:1 ratio bc we’re completely different but sometimes i feel like if i want someone to understand me as aperson they should just. read trc for adam parrish. and they’d Get It.

i’m so glad his character arc was finished to completion even with all the complications maggie faced during the writing of trk. adam parrish is her greatest gift to me personally and in both the times i’ve met her i’ve never been able to articulate that but i hope she knows. 

[kiliosthestarmaker]

Nyehehe 1-49 >.> all of dem 😏😉

I EXPECTED THIS BUT YOU’RE GOING TO K I L L M E

The Basics1.     Do you listen to music when you write?

YES, Gods yes! The inspiration! The characterizations! The playlists I listen to when dealing with a particular character I love it I crave it!

2.     Are you a pantser or a plotter?

Plotter, most things have already been decided on within my stories.

3.     Computer or pen and paper?

Computer, I’ll use a pencil and paper only when I have no tech on me. 

4.     Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

I’d like to be published

5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?

Interesting question, I have no clue

6.     Single or multiple POV?

Kind of multiple? It’s all in third POV but we follow around different characters

7.     Standalone or series?

*cackles* SERIES

8.     Oldest WIP

A whole series called Ratio Cor that I finally got back too

9.     Current WIP

Worlds Rejoined

10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?

No. Gods no, I’d stress myself out.

The Specifics11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

Lord of The Rings

J.R.R. Tolkien

George Martin

Harry Potter

Rick Riordan

C.S. Lewis

My two writer friends Wolfe and Jacks

12.  Describe your perfect writing space

My room, blasting with music in the morning when I have no school

13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Sure

A) Wake up at 2 AM with an idea

B) write it down 

C) go back to sleep until you have to wake up properly

D) Write out a decent plot

E) Characters

F) World Building (My fav part)

G) Write and Feel your book

H) Make others suffer with you

14.  How do you deal with self-doubts?

Music and talking to Wolfe

15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?

Music, scrolling through Tumblr, talking to Wolfe and Jacks

16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

Who the heckity heck knows

17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?

Grab some food and a drink

18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

I WOULD COLLABORATE WITH @princess-east AND @stressedwolfe and it would probably either be about the gods or some action/adventure/fantasy thing and we’ve done it before AND ALSO @koalajake CAUSE THE IDEAS HE HAS 

I

ADORE

19.  How do you keep yourself motivated?

My dad expresses interest in my plots (the only family member that do), he tells me about showing it to other people at work or while he’s busy with something and the person just so happen to be there. My loves also encourage me.

there is also music

20.  How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

........ ehe well there is 1 collection, 4 series within that collection and about 3-4 books within each series sans one which will probably have more than that. Other than that...I have many, many ideas

The Favourites21.  Who is/are your favorite character(s) to write?

I absolutely love writing Kilios, not only is he my favorite character, he’s just purely iconic.

22.  Who is/are your favorite pairing(s) to write?

Most of my pairings are platonic as most characters are teens or children. There’s also those who have been married and are widowed now so-

OH THERE IS KOLFE I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WRITING THOSE TWO

23.  Favorite author

Wait I have to choose??

24.  Favorite genre to write and read

Fantasy

25.  Favorite part of writing

WORLD BUILDING!!!! I SWEAR ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BE LIKE “Hey Kilios you wanna help me build a world for this AU?” or “Hey Kilios can you help me build the world for my story?” AND I WILL BE ALL OVER THAT

26.  Favorite writing program

Lmao does google docs count?

27.  Favorite line/scene

From...from my book?

(Ratio Cor)

“Okay...” She hums softly as she screws on her arm. She flexes the mechanical fingers slowly before twisting her wrist. She grimaces slightly at the creaking of the joint. “Grandfather where’s the thing?”

“What thing?”

“The...the thing...uh...whot yz yt collud… THE OIL!” Kala exclaims after figuring it out. She hears her grandfather laugh. Kala huffs softly at the laughter. Her grandfather taught her the surface language at a young age. He told her it might come in handy one day, but she doesn’t understand why it would. The Markian language was harder to learn afterward.

(Working Title: Caelum Enterprise)

“That's a child.” Kai whispers. Kilios nods his head in agreement. “That’s a child.” 

“Thirteen years old.” Kilios offers with a small grin. Kai’s face turns blank, and he stares at Kilios. A cold rage settles in his soul.

“So, I have to kill Zeus?” Shadow chokes on his laughter as he wraps his arms around Kai’s waist. Kilios snorts in amusement even though he knew his friend could kill the Lightning God if he wanted to.

“Now, now. Revenge is best served cold as you may know.” Kilios hums softly as they smirk at each other. Shadow and Oketh look at each other before shaking their heads in exasperation. “Zeus seems to want this kid somewhat broken down, so we’ll give the child the best childhood.”28.  Favorite side character

Kai and Shadow, purely for their dynamic

29.  Favorite villain

K,,,kilios

30.  Favorite idea you haven’t started on yet?

Three siblings were reborn as siblings in the modern world. One problem, the ex-youngest sibling is the only that remembers their past and the evil that caused them to die before has followed them. So now, the sibling has to reawaken their siblings' past selves and strive off the evil force all alone. What will happen if the evil, instead of harming the ex-youngest sibling, takes them away to where they are treated as they should be and are loved. What happens when their siblings do reawaken and come after them? What happens if the ex-younger sibling doesn’t want to go? After all, they found love in the darkness. They found light within it as well insert King Keir who isn’t willing to let his consort be taken without a fight.

The Dark31.  Least favorite part of writing

The,,, the writing part

32.  Most difficult character to write

Alim??? I guess cause he’s like grandfatherly and most characters I’ve done in the past never met their grandparents?? 

33.  Have you ever killed a main character?

Yes, even better! I’m going to kill one in one of my books!!

34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

Kilios’,,,, death I’m-35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

KILIOS’ ORIGIN STORY

The Fun36.  Last sentence you wrote

“Yeah, I’m alright.” She assures her grandfather after he gives her a look showing that he didn’t believe her. “So, what’s for breakfast?” She quickly changes the subject.

37.  The first sentence or your current WIP

“Three creators, each lost in their own right. Their names were taken from books and erased from history. The first to come back will be the one who breathes the anger of volcanoes. Next will be the one who freezes the stars. Finally, the one with powers that are forbidden will come to light. Once together united as one. All will hail the Cold Sun.”

38.  Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

All of them

39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

A manipulative character that ends up saving the world due to having the ability to see at least ten steps of ahead and calculating an infinite amount of possibilities for options due to having who is literally the concept of the creation of stars and demihumans/hybrids as a bearer (Aka Kilios)

40.  Share some backstory for one of your characters

AHAHAHAHA

Kyle Evren was born from a phoenix and the Primordial God Khaos. The toddler was neither male nor female. Ze was an outlier much like the being known as Udushunamir, who was a being created by the Egyptian Great God Ea. Kyle was born to die for the Gods.

Kavya Esther was created with the body of Saiph and life was breathed into her by Astraea. Her mother was a phoenix and the Star Goddess Astraea. Kavya was very radiant and creatures of all sizes tended to flock to her. The child was kind and lovely. Kavya was born to die for the Gods.

Kit Keir was born from a phoenix and the Hindu Celestial Deity known as Rahu. Kit was both male and female. Due to cer odd parentage, Kit gained both sexes from cer parents. Kit was a very elusive and dreamish teen. Ce would often be found drifting off into cer own little world without a care of anyone around cem. Kit was born to die for the Gods.

Kilios Caelum was born from the ashes of who he used to be. He was ruthless and tired. He was angry at what he’s been through. He swore to rise far above what he attempted to accomplish beforehand. He would build an empire, he would rise to the sky. Kilios refused to die for the Gods.

The Rest of It41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

Jot down any idea you have, no matter how vague or bizarre it is, write it down.Research, for the love of the gods, research whatever you need for your book and please please use multiple sites.Talk to other writers and ask for input, it’s alright to be nervous so just message them privately. Hell, you can ask me I’m always up for learning about new writers.

42.  How do you feel about love triangles?

As long as it makes sense and doesn’t cause the main plot to be pushed as a subplot I’m good with it fam

43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

Mutter dark threats under my breath and curse my characters for putting me in the backseat of my own damn writing.

44.  How much research do you do?

Literally, a third of my whole writing process is contributed to pure research.

45.  How much world building do you do?

By the time I’m done, if someone finds it they’d think I just found the world and wrote down what the people told me.

46.  Do you reread your own stories?

Yes and it’s physically painful

47.  Best way to procrastinate

Youtube and Drawing

48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

KILIOS IS LITERALLY ME THEN HE WENT OFF AND GOT HIS OWN STORY THE BASTARD

49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

All of them because they are my children and I love them.

[verybiforfarcry]

I love writing batman fics as much as the next bitch but god is it a sad and exhausting process. DC fans have gotten way too used to being coddled by the writers and sending unwarranted criticism just because their fave does something "bad".

I wrote something from Tim's POV where he is upset at Steph pre-wargames and someone commented to tell me that I am not showing Steph's perspective of things and that she did nothing wrong (which is not true but also not the point of the discussion). This was from Tim's POV and he was upset, so he would have critiqued Steph.

In another chapter, I reinterpreted Steph getting fired as Robin, again, pre-wargames and a new comment arose, telling me that I am making Bruce too cruel, firing Steph for basically nothing (which is exactly how it happened in the comics).

I have never received a comment that was like "oh this was fun!", "oh, I liked that" which I know is not a me issue because I have written for other fandoms where the responses were more than often along those lines.

DC fans refuse to see their favourite characters in any light that isn't positive. All the characters in this fic had their own chapters revealing their inner dialogues and their reasonings for their actions. All of them were in the wrong and in the right at the same time, because that's how you write multifaceted characters. That means that characters will not agree with each other, and that characters will see other characters poorly, and that characters will act rashly and sometimes do unwarranted things because that's how conflict works.

I honestly believe this will be DCs downfall, because while I'm a random girlie writing fanfic for me and no one else, DC runs get canceled and retconned for this type of shit. The only runs that remain are the flat boring one-dimensional stories of Vigilante Fights Bad Guy and Loses but then Manages to Win through the Power of Friendship, and it's a real fucking shame.

All that being said, I don't even wanna get into the kudos to hits ratio which is actually miserable, and the worst I've ever seen (and I've been in both the dsmp fandom and the kpop fandom which are all RENOWN terrible fanfic consumers (or at least were when I was involved with them)).

[themagiciansreccenter]

Five @ Five @adjovi

As a part of our author spotlight, we’ve asked each writer to highlight 5 fics and tell us a little about their experience writing (or reading) them.

1. Goodnight Moon

He felt a jolt go through him, with the intensity of a lightning strike. He jerked back, but the man held fast. He felt like his brain was splitting along the hemisphere. Everything was so fucking loud that it hurt. His legs felt weak, and he walked backwards, his knees hitting the coffee table and folding immediately into sitting. He was amazed the shitty particle board held his weight. All of it came crashing back at once, and he couldn’t stand the intensity. He began to weep involuntarily, rocked by the memories. ALL of it. His whole entire life. Growing up. His parents. Fillory. Julia. Brakebills. Magic was fucking real. Alice. Margo. Fuck. “Eliot.” His voice sounded like someone else’s, thick and slurred. He looked the monster full in the face. “What have you done with him?”

It smiled at him. The monster riding around in the Eliot meat suit. The eyes. That was what was so wrong. Fucking alien eyes. It smiled. “There you are.” Its voice was warm and full of affection. Quentin felt like he might vomit.

This was my putting my toe into a new fandom fic. Which—my last fandom was when Torchwood went off the air, so that was a long time ago. TBH, I really wasn’t even more than a casual viewer of the show up until S3, and then was like holy fuck. I didn’t even ship Q/El until this season, just knew that I wasn’t a fan of Q/Alice (sorry!), kind of agreeing with niffinAlice’s summation that their relationship had been a garbage fire. So, when the finale was coming to an end, I was like…holy shit! They are going to lean into Q/El! This never happens on shows that I love. Following swiftly with holy shit. Then, I got excited. Because I realized that it was going to be a slow and painful ride to get Eliot back. Also, Hale is going to kill it in this role, and Eliot is such a great choice because he is, IMHO, the emotional center of the show. Plus, if the monster gets all of Eliot’s memories, he’s going to have shitloads to pull from to torment Quentin with, and I am for it. Hence, this little fic was born. I wasn’t sure if I would stick around in the fandom, but I enjoyed writing this so much, that the fic ideas just started to flow.

2. The Long Way Around

“It matters because when you think I am not looking, you stare at me like I hung the fucking moon. The rest of the time, you avoid me because it seems like being around me causes you actual physical pain.” He took a deep drag from his cigarette, exhaling in a long plume. “And you say my name like it's a goddamn prayer.” He stared at Quentin, willing him to turn and face him, but Quentin continued his fastidious study of the ground. “So, the way I see it, we are either together in your timeline. Or, I am dead.” Quentin did look at him then, his eyes impossibly wide.

So, this was definitely a fic that was built around a bit of dialogue—the one above—that I wanted to center the fic around. Also, I am a sucker for stories where one character remembers and no one else does. I wanted it to be painful, and to force Q to be honest. The ending came to me when I was in the shower—I wanted something to anchor things to, and make it interesting. I tried writing this for Welter’s timeloops theme, but missed the deadline, but still liked the story enough to write and post it. Prompts are definitely my friend.

3. Situation Normal

“Oh, my God.” Eliot took a step back instinctually. They had been so wrong. About everything. He was wrestling with both shock and awe over the utter the depths of their stupidity. They had been told, over and over, that this Thing was feared by the Gods. The monster was ancient, and he realized dimly that they must look like mayflies by comparison. Their sheer arrogance that they could control It, they could win, was ultimately to be their downfall. He should have been used to losing by now, as apparently they were Wyle E. Coyote and the Universe was the fucking Roadrunner, and somehow they never, ever managed to see the anvil coming.

So, in my old Torchwood fandom, there was a challenge that was based on adapting the show around a movie—this could be a straight swap the characters out, or more subtle retelling of the show through the frame of a movie. My favorites were of the latter variety, and one of my very favorite fics to read coming out of that entire fandom was a Jaws/Torchwood crossover which never should have worked but was pretty much perfect. So, I wanted to try this myself. This was tough to plot out—didn’t want to reveal my hand too early on and keep people guessing. I literally sat in team meetings blocking out scenes and conversations in code. I was really happy with how this one came out, and want to try again with another movie. Please don’t tell my boss about that team meetings part.

4. The Zeppo

She wasn’t convinced. This meant something to him, she could tell. Nothing meant anything to him. He had been crushing hard on that geek since the moment he saw him, marking him as his target early and often. She actually couldn’t tell what Q had thought of that, he just seemed equally mortified pretty much anytime anyone aimed their attentions towards him. If she had been a betting woman, she would have put good money on Alice Quinn. That would have been delightfully awkward to observe and satisfying to tease. This? What was she supposed to do with this? It was absurd, she knew. But she hated not being in the know, even the tiniest bit, most especially when it came to Eliot, with whom she covetously and with great intent been entwined.

This was my first Margo POV, and I freaking loved it. She is so awesome, but there is something kind of mean girl from S1 but also super vulnerable when it comes to Eliot that I wanted to capture here. I also really loved writing about badass Margo who not only makes her own fun but kind of almost saves the day, with the help of the ladies. I really want to expand out the ladies winning everything in another fic, and also write more about Penny/Julia/Kady, which I never would have considered shipping before, so thank you S3 for my ot3.

5. Infinite Probabilities Ratios

Word of the Beast’s attack had spread quickly across campus, like the viral infection that it was. Eliot was completely shook. He made a hasty retreat to his room, unable to be around the others just now. He couldn’t look at their faces after seeing them all die, one by one, in horrific, albeit creatively different ways. He hadn’t realized there were so many means of eviscerating a person. He was currently staring at the Broadway poster of “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” on his wall, absolutely certain it was supposed to be the original book cover of “The Naked Lunch”. He had grabbed a bottle of whiskey and two glasses on his way up, not at all surprised when Quentin knocked on his door a short while later.

OK. So, I am actually in the process of writing a fiction book right now, which is all kinds of crazy. But, I wanted to try out the premise of that story—which is that the main protagonist has the ability to shift the world slightly away from the center, forcing the other characters to be in this sideways world. The changes are very subtle, but because the protagonist is the one who essentially builds this other world, there are things that are wrong. I wanted to do that here, with the shift being done by the monster, who guesses what their world should look like, missing out on the subtleties—for example, whiskey tasting like Kool-aid, or assuming Eliot would have a Broadway poster versus a one of a semi-obscure book about drug addled wanderings. Stuff like that.