#also i really liked ruby so im sad to see her go

[6kate1bishop6]

okay so post doccy thoughts

not entirely pleased with the end of rubys arc but it is what it is she probably wanted off the show so all the foreshadowing that lent itself to a more paranormal explantation (the snow the pointing etc) had to be put to the side for the ordinary person thing

but i think mrs flood is the master ? idk just menacing vibes and seems like she’ll become a nuisance for the doctor

just there’s a lot of plot holes so idk overall i liked it though

[trendywives]

Aight, then how's about some lap pillow lovin with Nicole and Zhu Yuan?

I feel like Zhu Yuan REALLY deserves a lap pillow, but I'm pretty short, so it would be more like me being a stomach pillow tbh.

That's not to say that she wouldn't want to be a lap pillow if you asked, it's just me personally wanting to make her all happy after work!

*Sigh* soon her parents will hopefully be interacted with or seen in the story so that I can think about how she'd get us to meet her family and stuff

Anyway, meanwhile, I almost think Nicole would be a lap pillow almost-exclusively to butter you up or something post-date

although this isn’t a thirst (idc if this was or not, im a sucker for fluff/domestic loveee), this is cute! tysm for the ask! also in zhu ep, i think her parents were shown multiple times and it was so adorable! (i’ll have to write a lil drabble of the reader meeting her parents)

zhu needs some rest and i can imagine her coming home from her shift and she wants to take a small nap before eating dinner. you suggest a lap pillow and zhu yuan’s red in the face, but nonetheless she takes your offer because she has to be crazy if she denies her lover!

“ are you really sure i can rest my head down on your lap for a little bit? “ zhu yuan ask hesitantly, sitting down on the bed next to you with red cheeks. you nod your head, patting your lap. “ yes zhu, i’m sure. “

“ wh-what if my head’s heavy? “

“ it won’t be. “

“ what if your legs go numb while i nap? “

“ i don’t care—baby, just c’mere, “ you curl a hand around the back of her neck and guide her head down on your lap. the tips of her ears are red as she adjusts. you move pieces of soft black hair away from her eyes. “ feeling comfortable? “

“ y-yes, “ zhu yuan’s head turns a bit so her shy ruby hues meet yours. you laugh at her flustered state. “ why so shy? we’ve slept in the same bed together for over a year, pumpkin. “

“ r-right—but well, this feels oddly more intimate. i-i feel more vulnerable like this—n-not in a bad way! i. .just don’t know how to describe this feeling. “

you hum, stroking her head in a comforting manner. zhu yuan finds herself relaxing little by little as she focus more on your gentle digits playing with her hair and scratching her scalp. “ it’s fine, even if you feel vulnerable right now, you’re safe with me. rest a little, yeah? i won’t leave. “ you assure her lovingly, casting her a warm smile when your lover glances at you from the corner of her vision.

“ do you promise? “ zhu yuan asks in an unbelievably soft voice filled with hope, her eyes slowly closing as exhaustion seeps into her veins. she reminded you of a tired child resting in her parent’s arms. well it’s a fitting comparison, since she is a mommy and daddy’s girl.

“ i promise, love. see you when you wake up. “

nicole, oh my godd nicole would absolutely be your lap pillow if it means to butter you up! imagine you’re sitting on the bed sulking, nicole walks in, sees the look on your face, and be like “ what’s with that look on your face? geez, lay your head on my lap. i’m only doing this to cheer you up and i hate seeing you sad because i care about you. “ as for post dates, you’d have to ask her and she’ll be like,

“ y-you want me to be your lap pillow? . . .fine, lay down right here. wh-what do you mean you’re surprised i accepted so easily?! ugh—just lay your damn head on my lap before i change my mind, dummy. i-i’m only doing this because the date gone well. “ (that’s an excuse. nicole will let you lay your head down on her lap even if you ask her on normal occasions. she enjoys the weight of your head on your lap but ofc she won’t admit that. )

[sk1fanfiction]

okay hi, i've finally caught up and have now read the last chapter so here we go !!

(ch. 22/108 rev) — that was intense omfg, cass !! i'm so so glad no one died (i was a little worried for sirius and tee im ngl, i was surprisingly very very sure that nothing happens to harry despite the whole "he's dead" theatrics). from the beginning when they're getting to malfoy manor you can just feel like it's a whole operation, immaculate from the start. i love it when we get tom's pov bc there's just something so raw with his character, like every time he thinks about dumbledore or voldemort (or his actual father) it's just so interesting.

"that the great wizard of his personal legend would again want nothing to do with him."

stop. every time tom gets rejected by one of his counterparts i get sad like hello?? wdym your own self doesn't want you 😭😭 come here pookie, i want you

"He should not want to be coddled. That was childish and stupid. He was no longer the oldest left in Wool's Orphanage. And Voldemort was not his father."

the daddy issues goes crazy here i fear but i do feel for him, he's never really gotten a proper parental figure (at least until now with dumbledore - "he thinks you the son he never had" just hitsss)

""The little bitch bit me!" yelped another man, this one with a high, wheezing voice."

yes hermione !! people who bite in fights are genuinely my fave

"Tee was struck, as they rounded the corner which Bill had just disappeared around, how much Sirius sounded like this woman — looked like her too, he realised, as they emerged into the light."

i will always always eat up a sirius black x bellatrix black parallel. it's my fave thing !! it feels so symbolic (i also just love the house of black and their drama, they are way more complicated than people give them credit for)

"Recognition flashed in Dolohov's eyes. "You like puzzles, eh?"

oh the irony of saying that to a riddle (icb more people don't make jokes with his name... well i can bc he's a young voldemort but STILL harry go at it)

"I want to commit the murder I was sentenced to Azkaban for!"

i love sirius so bad, he's so hilarious like yes pookie, you suffered in a hell-hole, might as well kill the guy who put you there (ofc i would suggest proving his survival and then killing him but what do i know?)

the whole tee vs bella fight is so funny like girl… that's your dark lord as a jr 😭 but omg i see you've taken the take that bella doesn't know about voldemort's heritage?? (i've seen people think that she is aware and still supports him which kind of doesn't make sense unless she's a hypocrite which strikes me as very ooc for bellatrix unless but then again azkaban + dark arts + grooming + sunk-cost fallacy + fear would be a very dangerous combination for anyone and might very well cause hypocrisy 😭) also nice to know that tom is also struggling to remember his age (he's just like the rest of us)

"He'd forgotten how enjoyable this was. Pushing someone to the edge. Watching them teeter on the cliff."

your honour, he's sick and likes to drive people insane !! (it must say something about me too bc i just found that attractive yikes)

"If you will release my assistant—"

he's so casual about it everything, sigh, dumble will always be a diva referring to a horcrux of a dark lord as "assistant"

ugh harry….. MY POOKIE. i feel like it's just so sad every time he turns into an obscurial, like it hurts ME and i'm not even there so i can only imagine how ruby feels seeing her own brother, her twin she shared a womb with and the majority of her life was by his side felt (she must be feeling esp guilty for her year long camping trip and keeping things from him extra hard)

"Voldemort and Dumbledore were still fighting, oblivious to the rest of the chaos."

they're so obsessed with each other yikes can you at least mind your surroundings? there's a whole obscurial !!!

""I know." He paused. "About what?""

his first instinct to say he's right takes me out (it's also very me so)

"He was probably annoyed about not being first in line."

this is so important though, she's finally opening up !!

the feels in this chapter were so exceptional. i just felt the desperation, the hurt, the panic, the anxiety... and ik dumbledore felt hurt at what tom said ("father and son said what? "what?") when questioned by voldemort but what's curious to me is how ruby tries to act like she expects it (which she might which ig is more powerful since despite it all she was still affected) but she's also deeply hurt by it, just in denial. i do think tom is also unaware that everything he does might've started out a "repaying debts" and "choosing the better options" but definitely along the line he's developed some care for (ruby, dumbledore maybe even harry) and just can't bring himself to admit it or even recognise it. very very interesting dynamics. also, maybe this was like just for narratives sake but... does tom not know ron, hermione, and anthony's names?? 😭 (if he doesn't then that's just hilarious and definitely backs my hc that he's terrible at remembering people's name, esp their first names). also, during my re-read, i noticed that harry and ruby kind of see people they care about in riddle?? (harry sees some of hermione and ruby sees some of harry) and it freaks them out a lot and i think it's because it definitely humanises him to them, esp ruby who would do ANYTHING for her brother as established. i also was wondering about the riddle ring, nice to see ruby's still got it !! idk i just think this series is sick. i have so many thoughts that i've probably forgotten but this is long anyway so i'll end it here !

i'm so so glad no one died

I'm just saving the Major Character Death tag for Year Six (kidding? kidding! am i?)

i was a little worried for sirius and tee im ngl, i was surprisingly very very sure that nothing happens to harry despite the whole "he's dead" theatrics

As I said I don't really have the heart to kill off Sirius (so every threat is kinda empty). And Harry's plot armour is so insane that I was pretty sure I wasn't fooling anyone despite all the cloak and dagger and misdirection and deliberately hiding him from you for the better part of two chapters and waving my hands and yelling HE'S DEAD!!

there's just something so raw with his character

It's the unresolved Daddy Issues (and the fact he's not completely emotionally closed-off yet compared to Voldemort).

yes hermione !! people who bite in fights are genuinely my fave

Well she trapped Rita Skeeter in a jar and came up with the Sneak Curse, she is definitely (canonically) a biter.

i will always always eat up a sirius black x bellatrix black parallel. it's my fave thing !! it feels so symbolic (i also just love the house of black and their drama, they are way more complicated than people give them credit for)

I love love parallels and especially this one, too! It's a shame when they get flattened into the 'Black Madness' or other tropes. I feel like it's not really portrayed in the movies unfortunately (because they both got flanderised).

you've taken the take that bella doesn't know about voldemort's heritage??

Yes, I haven't gone through the Original Texts with a fine-tooth comb to check for Complete Canonicity, though I know a lot of people say Bellatrix probably knew because Wormtail did (but Wormtail is too much of a coward to repeat the Dark Lord's Private Business and blood purity isn't a motivating factor for him, he just wanted to be on the winning side) and Barty at least knew that Voldemort had a bad 'relationship' with his dad, not necessary that he was a Muggle (but I think Voldemort only told him that to make him more loyal), if we just take what we know about Bellatrix and Voldemort at face value, I don't think he would ever tell her that one of his parents is a Muggle no matter how close they were (re: this really short meta and this slightly longer one). Yes, he (both Diary!Tom and Voldemort) told Harry but that's just for the good old 'you're just like me' hero/villain evil speech effect. Maybe this is a heretical take though, idk...

your honour, he's sick and likes to drive people insane !!

"Lord Voldemort is my past, present, and future." (Giving Tom some psychological violence as a treat because Dumbledore said it was his favourite in HBP).

dumble will always be a diva referring to a horcrux of a dark lord as "assistant"

Phineas Nigellus Black said it best, however you feel about Dumbledore, you can't deny he's got style ;)

i feel like it's just so sad every time he turns into an obscurial, like it hurts ME and i'm not even there so i can only imagine how ruby feels seeing her own brother, her twin she shared a womb with and the majority of her life was by his side felt (she must be feeling esp guilty for her year long camping trip and keeping things from him extra hard)

He was literally at his breaking point :(((

Hence the Castor and Pollux mention (at the time I was writing it I was thinking maybe it's too on the nose but they are literally intentionally divine twins-coded so...)

his first instinct to say he's right takes me out (it's also very me so)

Ofc Tom believes he's always right (also, valid).

ik dumbledore felt hurt at what tom said

He was indeed in his feelings.

ruby tries to act like she expects it [...] but she's also deeply hurt by it, just in denial.

Exactly! She has Complex Feelings about Tee for definite (I mean she literally named him and summoned him from the purgatory realm or whatever and befriended him but he's also literally Voldemort).

i just felt the desperation, the hurt, the panic, the anxiety...

I'm so glad all of that came through (I love hurting my characters, ngl)

i do think tom is also unaware that everything he does might've started out a "repaying debts" and "choosing the better options" but definitely along the line he's developed some care for (ruby, dumbledore maybe even harry) and just can't bring himself to admit it or even recognise it.

This!!! Tom is always going to be a character with low empathy IMO but that doesn't mean that he doesn't care at all, even if that's the reality delusion he tries to create for himself.

does tom not know ron, hermione, and anthony's names??

He doesn't. He was never paying attention in the first place lol.

i noticed that harry and ruby kind of see people they care about in riddle?? (harry sees some of hermione and ruby sees some of harry) and it freaks them out a lot and i think it's because it definitely humanises him to them, esp ruby who would do ANYTHING for her brother as established.

Ruby definitely sees Harry in him (because of the canon Harry/Tom parallels 'we even look something alike' and all that) and it (amongst other things) causes major cognitive dissonance. There are definitely Tom/Hermione parallels that Harry picks up in (being Muggle-born/assumed Muggle-born, being know-it-alls) but potentially the worse source of Riddle-related anxiety for him is how Dumbledore sees him (potentially both in the same way) versus the literal existence of Lord Voldemort versus his knowledge of his own parallels.

"Am I meant to feel sorry for him?" It was a genuine question. He could only think of Riddle standing before him the night the castle was attacked. Of the strange, misplaced kinship, of rage and pity. It was like seeing himself in one of those funhouse mirrors; his reflection twisted into something grotesque and disturbing.

[rosethevideomancer]

My Thoughts on the Doctor Who S2 Finale

Obviously Spoilers Ahead

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA No but I think it was a bad finale pushed into a great regeneration, wrapped around a fantastic season. Honestly right now the pain in my heart is that Ncuti was only JUST starting, he had so much more to do and see. I will never forgive bigots for mercilessly going after what might be one of the best doctors we've ever had. The mid-season writing for both of season was banger after banger after banger, something we haven't really had since Series 10. (Don't get me wrong Flux came really close) Also this episode does confirm my suspicions about Jodie needing to be an RTD Doctor rather than a Chibnal one. I really loved that brief cameo because she FELT like the doctor we've come to know, Chibnal wrote her like an old doctor, forgetting the history she had. Billie being back but as potentially the doctor is crazy but I fear that its David Tennant is back type shit for headlines. RTD2's era is "How much shock value can we have" and im tired of it. I am excited for Billie but all of me is sad that Ncuti is gone. Another thought I keep having is all the wasted plotlines this run, Rogue and 15 will never have their love story, Ruby's story will never get it's conclusion with the coincidences, Anita came full circle but who is the boss? We will NEVER know. The Pantheon isn't done but I almost worry we will never hear from them again. ALSO BTW, if you want to fix the timeline thing, go fix it FROM Mavity. 15's reason for regenerating is fucking stupid, he FORCED himself to!? FOR **POPPY!?!?!** A GIRL THAT ISNT EVEN HIS!????

FUCK OFF RUSSEL. You cost us a good ending for Ncuti because of POPPY!?!!? I need 12's "Time Happens" attitude back. I need 13's "I can't stop it but I can make things right" era, I need 4's "Should I question the rules of time" back. Russel years ago wrote the perfect ending for 10 and then scrapped it in favor of The End of Time. The Doctor in a bottle episode dies saving two random strangers he's never met because thats the doctor, willing to risk his life for people he's never met.

BUT POPPY!? A girl who didn't exist, saved cuz he thought she was his daughter only for it to be Bel's and rewrites the whole fucking season!? FOR WHAT!? What was the whole point Russel? Give up the reigns. Genuinely i'm with Christopher Eccleston on this one, the whole lot needs wiped. Bring in new writers who LOVE doctor who, bring in fans of the new eras to give us storylines that matter.

This era has been the most non-sense shit that has the most obvious answers but Russel is far too committed to going "Ah but i'm more clever than you!" IDGAF if you're clever Russel, I care if the show lands a 10/10 season and YOU cost that. Your writing took two seasons that were mostly good and BOTH times you crashed and burnt on the landing.

In other news, Rose Noble got a line this time so thats good.

[rainbowslushie2906]

OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOOOSHHHHH

TPOT 17 WAS SUCH A GOOD EPISODE WTH!!!!!

anyways thoughts!!! \(^0^)/ {SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!!!}

uhmmmmmm some might jump me on this but pillows fav character so I was sad to see her go 😔😔😔😔😔 (now I’m wondering what chaos she will cause with the eliminated guys, also Ruby is also one of my favs so that eases everything out)

bottle is and was very silly in this episode I want her to host next episode!!! (she starting to grow on me, send help)

TWO CRY A RIVER AND GET OVER IT STOP BEDROTTING /hj /pos

ONE WAS DEVIOUS IN THIS EPISODE BRO (bravo donut you stood up to a FREAKING god)

PENCIL/PEN ARC VERY EPIC 👍 (I feel so bad for the both of them broooo)

uhm now let’s talk about the number guys I love so very much (one of them is my pfp rn)

okay so uh few questions,

what in the world happened to one/three before BFB and the rest of the gang (by gang, I mean the rest of the numbers other than four, x two, and three)

uhhhh how six survive (she is also one of my favs so im glad)

IM SO SO INVESTED IN THE EQUATION PLAYGROUND RIGHT BEFORE BFB LORE BRO LIKE I CANT WAIT FOR WHATS TO COME-

anyways, really cool episode 😋👍

where’s three where's three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three where’s three

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I played romance Louis/save Violet for the first time (and last) in my life some days ago and I really didn't expect the game to feel so different without him. Not is his absence only extremely notorious but to quote one of your old posts, the game won't shut up about him.

EVERY SINGLE TIME. They didn't mention Violet even half the times they did with Louis, and it just feels. Awful. Constant reminder that you left him get taken, that he's being tortured and traumatized. It really did hit different, I wanted to think about all the details for Violet's route but I couldn't. THEY KEPT BRINGING HIM UP LIKE OK !! I GET IT !! I KNOW, IM COMING TO HIS RESCUE

and in the end I ended up getting mad Violet suddenly forgot about his existence. I remember you talked about that a lot but since I hadn't experienced it I hadn't realized how bad it was.

When she didn't mentioned him even ONCE, not in the cells, not in the walk home back to Ericson, nothing.

But back to Louis– the game says Louis' name over and over and it makes me feel guilty and I don't like it

That route haunts my nightmares.

When I used to stream, we called the romance Louis/save Violet [+don't trust AJ] route The Despair Route.... you can probably guess why. You're right, the whole thing hits differently when you've built up Clementine's romance with him, only for him to be taken away. Plus, when you do that, your relationship with Violet isn't as strong so not only do you miss out on a lot of Louis content, you miss out on Violet content for not romancing/best friending her.

And yeah, the game will not shut up about Louis when he gets taken. It's actually so fascinating, because Violet doesn't get mentioned nearly as much, so that begs the question of why? Y'know? I mean, we can look at Louis getting captured and conclude that they keep reminding us about him so that we're extra hurt and guilty when we find him in the cells.

But then with Violet? Louis is the one who brings her up most of the time, except when Ruby pulls out her file. But it's odd that the others don't make more comments like they do with Louis. I think we are kind of meant to forget about her? Well, okay, not forget about her but like... The fact that they don't talk about her as much makes her feeling pissed off, forgotten and abandoned all the more powerful, no?

As for Violet forgetting about him, in my opinion that's just a genuine flaw with the writing... because Violet would ask about Louis. I've played her romance route. I believe that in my heart of hearts that she would, and when she doesn't, I'm like ?????

Sure, you can say she's got her mind on other things, or that Aasim already told her what happened to Louis so she doesn't ask when they're in the cells... except she would ask if he's okay.

They're different characters who react to things differently, and that's not inherently good or bad.... but you're seriously going to tell me that the only thing Violet's says to Louis is a sad little, "Lou..." when meeting up with him on the beach? and then she only makes a minor mention of him when talking about pushing people away on the walk home?

No, sir. I think not. I think that's an oversight, especially if you're trying to sell their friendship in her route.

But I suppose in her defense, if you're a Louis fan, you're more likely to be angry about it. We're used to Louis mentioning Violet and then to see her not do the same isn't great. Whereas a Violet fan who prefers her route is more likely to justify why and how it makes sense, y'know? In fact, if a Violet fan plays Louis' route, they probably get mad that she's "forgotten" about a lot prior to the cells so I suppose it balances out?

Also, can I add for both routes how much I side eye the fact that captured Louis/Violet say nothing about the other if they died on the bridge? I get they didn't want to be a downer on the happy ending, and that time has passed so they probably already mourned......... but c'mon. I know Louis can't verbalize but he can write, he can stand by Violet's grave, something. Violet could've said something. Listen, if you're gonna make me suffer through that, give me some of the angst I actually want.

[oscconfessions]

i am starting to mildly hate pin. and i'm not even a hater. i genuinely truly hate one character and that's because of kin reasons. but pin? every time i see her i feel dissapointed. and i used to really like her but i just dislike the directions theyve taken her character. i can't even say "at least she's good in tpot!" or "at least she's good in new bfdia!" cause she's just not for me.

like they put her through this whole "her arms were cut off, her legs were cut off, her ears were cut off, her tongue was cut off," type shit in new bfdia and then she started communicating with coiny like "wait for the planets to align on the day where the moon is fullest and brightest, find the great stone in the forest where the creatures lie still, light eighteen candles in a circle around it, bring an object sacrifice dead by nightshade poisoning and chant 'RETURN TO US O SHARP ONE' in latin seventy four times and i will be restored to my former glory" and then it FAILS and they proceed to like. BRING HER BACK IMMEDIATELY ANYWAY LIKE WHAT WAS ALL THAT FOR

i think she's better in tpot but still like i do not care about whatever she does. i only can bring myself to LOOK at her because she is now on the same team as my sweet prince known as marker (that just gave away who i am anyways moving on). shes kinda gotten better as of the more recent episodes now that shes trying to take on more leadership roles again post-coiny elimination but i cannot forgive what they did to her in the earlier episodes of the season. it couldve been good if theyd had some emotional moments and elaborated on her change of heart from the last seasons, but it all feels so...poorly executed. i think if theyd focused on WHY pin's views on cheating had become so drastic then it couldve been really realistic, but it was just a conflict that went nowhere.

dont get me wrong i quite like bfdi, old bfdia, and bfb pin. i honestly still like her for some parts of new bfdia and tpot. maybe this is half because she put book and ruby ufe. maybe it isn't. maybe my opinion on her has been slowly declining for a long time.

also, this entire rant is /lh and /hsrs. as stated before i'm not a hater at all. if i had to put her on a tier list she'd be in neutral. i don't actually really dislike her, i dislike what's being done to her. please don't hate me it'll make me feel really sad this is all my opinion and you are allowed to like pin as much as you want in fact i feel really sorry for saying mean things about her so im probably gonna go draw her now as an apology bye

.

[aihoshiino]

okay so no idea how i should refer to myself as so: hi!! im the person who had way too much fun writing ai/nino toxic yuri on ao3! i was gonna just lurk (me, tumblr account with privated likes, reblogs and follows) BUT how could i with the promise of people being normal about fictional unhealthy gay women. idk if this is the optimal way to communicate i use tumblr with the sole purpose of following 4 people and digging up ai content

i am honestly so flattered (but also kinda upset at the lack of content on them aside from my own 1k word long oneshot please keep recommending if you find more stuff on them) that you enjoyed and recommended my fics considering i just straight up had no clue where i was going: okay so top priority i want them to kiss —> but also with how things are nino would probably lash out (read: bite) —> ai would be hesitant but also is so desperate that she’d still accept it happily —> this will fuel ninos idea of ai being the perfect, invincible idol —> and then i ran and tried not to trip with the rest

your translations of the side stories and blog was probably what helped me get in to oshi no ko again because even though i am still not over ai being dead i can now listen to someone talk about how great and tragic and sad and miserable she was along with all the other characters so thank you again!

also that ask for ai/nino toxic yuri visions was me lol, thanks for talking about my fic despite how short it was <3, i might de-anon myself at some point but rn im too shy for that

woof, this got a bit long. anyways love wins fr, if there was ever a day where i participate in an onk shipping war it’ll be on the side of them

LMFAO OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY TO HAVE JUMPSCARED YOU WITH YOUR OWN FIC 😭 WHAT A THING TO SEE ON YOUR OWN DASH....

that said it does make me so happy every time I hear people saying my relentless oshi no posting stands out to them to the degree that it does lol. I guess I'm in a similar place as you where, as happy as I am for it, it does make me a little sad that it feels like there's such little fan interest in lengthy meta and discussion on Ai herself outside of some really banal, surface level stuff. To a degree, I get that with other characters having so much more time on the page and having ongoing arcs to speculate about, but Ai is sooooooooo fascinating to me and it really drives me insane how often I see people make zero effort to engage with her arc beyond her utilitarian function in the story. It also really bums me out how often I see her get reduced to just a stepping stone in the arcs of other characters — even though the manga is literally shaking you right now and begging you to understand and empathize with her more than ever, I straight up see people cheering and crowing about Ruby 'surpassing' her or 'becoming the true Ai' as if this is a good thing and they are not completely fucking missing the point lmao.

ANYWAY!!!! That's enough grumping because the actual point of this response was to say: the Ai posting will continue until I am physically forced to stop!!!! I have so many thoughts about my wife constantly and if I do not share them I will explode!!!

(ps anon pspspspsp if you are ever feeling brave enough to unanon pls feel free to just send me your discord or your socmeds off tumblr if that is less intimidating for u.... honestly that goes for all my oshi no moots in general Please Talk With Me In DMs About My Wife)

[golden-bubblebee]

Bubbles watches SPN pt 6

Season 3 babey

Annotations, commentary and thoughts under the cut

NOT IN FRONT OF THE WINDOW IN FRONT OF HIM???? (Dean having sex in front of the window where sam is sitting in the car, basically watching him)

Sam, park the car somewhere elseee

Noo dean is actually sad that Ben isnt his

Why is Gordon such a little bitch spreading misinformation

Nah, they can't just do this over a police phone 'sam winchester must die' you guys know they listen in to these conversations right???

Dean: we have a magical rabbit food that brings actual luck

Also Dean: sam before we figure out how to put it back in the box, you gotta win the lotto a couple times

Oh my god I fucking love her (Bela)

FYI WINCHESTER, WORDS HURT HAHAHA

Oh my god dean you do like, an exorcism weekly

How have you not memorised it by now

Has no one told this boy how to hold a pen

OMFG HAHAHAH I THOUGHT HE WAS NOTING DOWN BULLET POINTS

Nah Nah

You are NOT telling me that this is an hansel und gretel episode

It fucking is isnt it

Shes feeding em

I really don't like Dean's suicidal attitude

Get that boy some antidepressiva

Dean youre not fucking 'going away' you will be dead, send to hell, and suffer fot all eternity

Why do I feel like Bela had an abortion

Nah what kinda notebook is that that it can be sopping wet and they can still read from it

DEAN YOU MASSIVE ASSHOLE

DEAN BEING SUCH A DAD TEACHING SAM HOW TO FIX THE CAR

Also very heartbreaking cuz its him saying goodbye

OH MY GOD ITS MY FIRST SUPERNAT SPECIAL

Omg teenage dean is so very much Dean

'Who do we move around so much'

*uses the same childhood home set as last time*

Oh dean my sweet deeply traumatised boy

I appreciate that the anti santa doesnt eat kids

Just leaves em traumatised for the rest of their life

AMEN TO SAM TEACHING THE FOLKS THE TRUTH ABT SANTA

Oh my god obsessed with the pagan gods

Dean is being killed and goes 'you want me to say fudge instead of fuck? Fine!"

Obsessed with them

Also, how have I only now noticed the very comical sound of 'hitting someone' they use

Nooo not little baby dean lying about their father for christmas

100% john did not show up

Where did baby dean get the money

Welp nvm, some kids round the block having a real sad xmas

Now my bad memory wants to know if hes really been wearing that necklace the whole show, or just now. Also couldn't see what it was

Bc to me it looked like a rotissery chicken, but Im taking a wild guess That that's wrong

NOT SAM PUTTING A FRIGGING ARBRE MAGIQUE IN THE XMAS TREE

THREE OF THEM OMFG THAT MUST SMELL HORRID HAHAHHAA

Nah getting your brother porn mags as a christmas gift is another example of unhealthy boundaries

That reaction (to getting the mags) is so un-sam like it's upsetting and funny at once

IM NOT CRYING UR CRYING

I really need Dean and Ruby to have some real good hate sex

Bela really said 'you called, sam?'

This will be too funny if dean is round the corner and walks in now

Nah my guy is either dreaming or on the dream root

NOOO

Having dean yell 'sam wake up' translate in the dream to Bela moaning 'oh sam' is actually so rat of the producers

DEAN YOU DONT INQUIRE AFTER YOUR BROTHERS WET DREAM

Not Sam needing to check his boner status first💀

Sam is killing me

Dean literally dreaming of a normal life breaks my heaaartyy

Why did seeing Dean like this genuinly make me happy

Crying at these sandwich prices

WHAT THE FUCK

Dean Death count: 6

OH MY GOD ITS A TIMELOOP EPISOOOODEEEEEEEE

I eat that shit uppp

DEAN DEATH COUNT: 7

WHAT TVE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

Did not see that coming

They really yeeted that boi

Dean death count: 8

I fucking knew he was gonna choke on that sausage

Dean death count:9

HAHAHAH THE SCREAM FROM THE SHOWER

Dean death count: 10

He gets poisoneeed

Dean death count:11

IM DYING THE AXE SCENEEE

12

Dean death count: 105 (as told by sam)

106

The music played but dean didnt die??? I feel like a confused pavlovs dog not getting a treat

107

WHAY DO YOU MEAN SIX MONTHS LATER

Omg the trunk got ✨fancy✨

I dont like sam turning into John dickchester

It makes my heart go auch

Wait??? Did he just release sam??? No no I need to see them kill the trickster pr I wont trust anyhting anymore every

I'll be watching the next episode waiting for the trick

Surely sam has some absolute paranoia now

Ellaaaa! (From Lucifer. In spn known as Nancy)

I will not lie, the fbi guy? Love him. I need a spinoff of him going insane tryna catch our boys

Shoutout to Sam for knowing the ex-demon (what do you call it?? Extorsion?? Extrusions? Excursion???) Out of his head

'Alright don't be such a wuss' MA'AM YOUR BROTHER JUST GOT -SHOT-

Like i know we saw him tying up his own bullet wounds in the trickster world, but Sam be so fr rn

Nooo I liked fbi guy

FBI GUY!!!! WAGGING MY TAIL LIKE A PUPPYYY'

I uh. I shot the sherrif'

'But you didn't shoot the deputy' HAHAHAHAHHA DEAAAAN LEARN HOW TO READ THE ROOM JAHAH

I have strong suspiciouns of our Dear Nancy ella being possesed

Ruby is absolutely growing on me omfg i love her

The fact that none of the demons killed ruby for helping them makes me think shes insanely powerful

'When this is over, I'm gonna have so much sex. ... But not with you' HAHAHHAHAHAHAH NANCY I LOVE YOU

LITLITH NO IM ENMOTIONALLY ATTACHED NOW

WHY AM I CRYING OVER NANCY I BARELY KNEW HER

Not the crappy gostbusters song HAHAH

'Gostfacers, we face de ghosts when you do not!'

THE FAKE SLOWMO WALK

Please tell me people ship these two

The fact that they had to specify they could have sex with girls makes them very shippable

I love her

So many great female characters why can none of them stick

Omg I would so watch 'the ghostfacers'

Love how theyre all like 'shh be quiet' and winchesters pull up music blaring

He's so real for this

Dean death count: 108

[infizero]

pokespe reread: emerald chapter - closing thoughts! 🟢

i've finished emerald!! and with it comes the end of the era of the dexholders constantly meeting up with each other and interacting between generations 😔

we'll still get to see these guys again (other than yellow. sorry yellow. i hope they bring u back one day honey) but past this point it's gonna be a lot less overtly interconnected. which is fine! but it is a little sad :')

anyways, here's my thoughts on the chapter as a whole!

(i also wanna preface this with the fact that i realized near the beginning that as a kid i definitely never actually read this arc in its entirety, just the end part once gold and crystal show up 💀 so technically this wasn't a true reread. but yknow. anyways)

the first thing that i noticed is that this arc feels a lot more focused on the battles and gimmicks at first; it kinda takes a while for the story to really kick in, which did make the first bits of it a littleeee boring/bland for me personally. but thats ok

i think part of that is because of how emerald as a character is depicted. i love emerald, but he is a character where for most of the arc, we see him from an outside perspective, via other characters observing him and wondering about him rather than really getting to read his thoughts and learn about him as a person. this can make him feel kind of uninteresting in the beginning, but i dont think its a severe issue or anything.

i do also think that the way his backstory is revealed is a littleee clunky? like having ruby and sapphire just be like "we dont much about you so tell us all about yourself!" feels like kind of an obvious plot device to get emerald backstory and doesnt read very naturally. but i dont rlly care, esp since we then immediately go INTO his backstory which is very enjoyable to read through.

speaking of which, i love his dynamic with crystal so so much. i think it's really cute how the whole reason he became a dexholder was just because he wanted to train with her :)

and speaking of emerald's friends........ latios and latias YIPPEE. i love that they just like him for some reason and go around being his friends its cute as hell. and of course. latias. im not going to lie to you and say that human latias isnt cute as hell IT'S CUTE AS HELL OK. ALL OF ITS OUTFITS ARE ADORABLE AND I LOVE IT JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. sorry...........

moving on, i reallyyyy love ruby and sapphire in this arc. their dialogue and just general characterization is. mwah. i love them trying to be friends with emerald and him just totally shutting them down LOL

i will say that ruby forgetting the climax of R&S is. kind of stupid and feels like a way to just artificially create more relationship drama between these two. i think that was mentioned/implied at the end of R&S but i forgot lol. anyways iirc i dont think this gets resolved until ORAS which is fucking insane. we'll see but considering that my memories of ORAS are not good, i feel like it's very likely that i'll end up just retconning this in my personal hc lol

ok DUDE. the shit with the blue orb was sooooo sick. i was so happy that they explored that a bit more bcuz the whole thing of the orbs corrupting anyone who touches them (and RUBY AND SAPPHIRE HAVING BOTH DONE THAT) was really fucking cool and i def thougt it could be touched on more.

i like how we learn about it more not just for the sake of it, but also it ends up being relevant because of archie. and we get to learn through it that there are permanent side effects no matter what, via sapphire's eyes apparently having a dim glow to them because of her contact w the blue orb? which um. is fucking sick

circling back to archie, him being guile is genuinely a cool twist and i didnt see it coming even though i have literally read this before. also him literally KILLING(?) maxie for another shot at life is genuinelyyyy fucking crazy. and i like how they tied in team galactic, it makes this feel at least a little connected to the upcoming chapter.

ok and now. something that's not at all relevant to the chapter as a whole but i have to talk about bcuz to middle school me this was the only thing that mattered about this arc

gold and silver in this arc make me sooooo fucking ill oh my lawrd. this shit is still just as crazy as it was in middle school WHAT ARE WE DOING RIGHT NOW

ok first of all. gold giving silver the ring (via very much Holding His Hand) and calling him his buddy. looking absolutely MURDEROUS after archie taps on the petrified silver. i love how this arc shows just how much gold cares about silver. crystal too ofc, but its less expected from gold due to how rocky their relationship was in the beginning. like that is his friend and if you touch him you will die. understand?

and then of course this moment oh my godddd bro. like him calling silver his buddy is just like aww theyre friends but then gold had to go and act as gay as possible about it. WHY ARE YOU FULL FACE BLUSHING OVER SILVER OVERHEARING YOU CALL HIM YOUR FRIEND! YOU ARE GAY!!!!!!!!!!

also i already said this in my initial post about this moment but like. its even gayer when you imagine what it looked like without gold's inner thoughts here, like silver tells him he heard and gold just blushes and looks all nervous/embarrassed. and then silver just continues talking. like hello.......

ANYWAYS. YELLOWWWWWWW

them getting to deal the final blow was fucking awesome. they didnt get to do a lot this arc since they were petrified with the others, but im glad that they were specifically highlighted here. getting to see them finally as officially part of the dexholders is so cool! esp since we dont get to see yellow past this point, i think this is a nice little mini sendoff to their character (for now)

seeing all the dexholders interact in general is just so fun and makes me so so happy. they're a family!!! they look out for each other!!! grahhhh

anyways. that's about all i have to say :) i've become a little busier so i dont know when i'll be starting diamond & pearl, but im very excited to since that means I GET TO SEE DPP AGAIN. MY CHILDREN.

its gonna be so polyamorous in this bitch i cant fucking wait. esp to expose anyone unfamiliar with pokespe or that specific chapter with the absolute canon polycule that is those three. oh my lordddd i miss them so much i cant wait.

anyways!!! see you all then!

[macbethz]

ok final thots. thank you to those who supported me liveblogging both those episodes i love doctor who so much. i also unfortunately love being a critic

all three dw episodes seem to be engaging heavily in this new folklore-ish lean that was established in wild blue yonder - the goblin stealing children, the bogeyman, the fiddle battle with the devil. im interested to see where it goes bc i think its a compelling throughline and one thing rtd lovessss is creating episodic stories that resolve into an overarching narrative. I do think DW seems to be pivoting towards its more family-centric roots, which is fine i guess. I am aware im not the target audience of doctor who but i do love her for her darker moments so ill always be a little sad

i think its kind of funny that the bbc lied in their marketing a little? like space babies was not about the first 5 second butterfly thing and the beatles were barely in the devils chord. actually really funny i literally cant be mad

ncuti is literally electrifying every time hes on camera. i believe he's the doctor 10000% and he really brings that combination of whimsy and sadness to the role that makes me want to see more of 15. ruby i find....less compelling. at least as of rn. I think the main point of interest for her is the mystery of her origin but as a character she's kind of a non-entity in the same way i found many of 13s companions. she almost reminds me of early season Clara in that she's just kinda Mystery Twee Girl but Clara ended up as one of my favorites because she became the most sick and twisted woman on planet earth over the course of 3 beautiful seasons so I have not lost hope yet.

However I do think the companion-doctor relationship is the thing the entire show runs on and I'm not, AS OF YET, super compelled by what 15 and ruby have going on. Hitting a lot of the same notes as rose/9 without the emotional follow-through and DISAGREEMENTS that really made that relationship interesting to watch. I think that's the main thing is I need to see some kind of conflict. 15 is a lot more open than any previous doctor by a LONG shot, presumably because of 14s off-screen therapy LMAO. There's a lot on the table up front in terms of backstory and personality (which i get helps set up new fans) but that also means a lot of the narrative tension created by that kind of inside information is lost. We need something else to replace it and make that dynamic interesting! For me doctor who maintains its narrative momentum through character relationships, i'm not particularly interested in just seeing Space Adventures without that kind of meat behind it idk. it makes them feel a little hollow to me

what else um. jinkx monsoon ate obviously. music is the meaning of life thank you for acknowledging this doctor who.

[asm5129]

RWBY v9 e4 Thoughts and Analysis

Genuinely might be my favorite opening of the entire show. 

Also, genuinely, screw everyone who ever said Ruby didn’t have a character arc. 

RWBY is really, really good at keeping stories going in the background even as the main focus shifts around. So just...stop with that shit, okay? CRWBY are very particular with what they choose to do and when. Not everything's perfect, but if you get hung up on things you didn’t like from the past, you’ll never be able to fully appreciate what’s happening now. It’s always gonna bother you in the back of your mind. Ruby wasn’t always the most important person in the show. Let it go so you can talk about what led us here, to this exceptional story. We good? Good. 

“You do not go to the tree, the tree goes to you! Unless of course you’re me, you see?”

Yeah, so the Curious Cat (referred to as CC from here on out) is definitely in some position of authority in the Ever After, but they do not control it or anything like that. I suppose we shall find out their role soon enough. 

Regardless, it seems that the Tree decides when you’re ready to leave, not you. CC can bypass that it seems, but i doubt that will work for our heroes.

If the residents of the Ever After exist to facilitate a story, then the Tree will let them out when the story is done. 

Maybe the Ever After only rained when Ruby was sad (rather than, for instance, Weiss) because it’s deemed her the protagonist of the story that must reach it’s conclusion before RWBY and co are allowed to leave? Just a thought.

“it’s a matter of perspective” that’s an intriguing line

Also, Little does not have a history with CC like I thought they and the other mice might. However, that’s not to say CC liking to eat mice has no impact on whether the mice know what a cat is, especially since last week Little wasn’t even completely convinced they were a mouse.

It’s been said before, but CC really is a standout character. The design, the performance, the power set,  even the dialogue make literally everything about them engaging. As does, of course, the characterization, cuz this Cat is just as impossible as any cat irl. Now i actually like cats, but I’ll be the last one to say they don’t tend towards being completely absurd and impossible in their behavior

CC just takes that to the next level. Honestly though CC is basically just ADHD: the animal

Craving a steady stream of interesting conversations to keep them focused

too real 😅

“Got ‘im! Totally roasted”

From the tone of Yang’s voice, i genuinely think she was just throwing poor Weiss a bone here  😄

Missed a chance to have CC making a cat video tbh, but “Luminous Rectangle” and “why is it printing tiny flat versions of me” is still amazing

CC just briefly giving voice to some of the common complaints about RWBY is kinda nice

its CRWBY saying “We’re listening. We hear you. We are working to address your concerns, but only to the point that it won’t compromise our story.”

Also roasting the gods is fun. Does seem like it’s clear that the Gods have nothing to do with the Ever After then, though, if CC both didn’t know and is super comfortable calling them out this way

More information about Alyx, from a new source. Love how everyone who speaks about her has a different take, it makes her really interesting. 

Also rare smiling v9 Ruby Rose sighting

I love that CC is still a cat, with all the usual catlike behaviors. Would've been easy to anthropomorphize them more, I’m happy that didn’t happen.

“Each acre is made specifically for it’s inhabitants and their roles”

Intriguing. So...does CC not have an acre to call home? If not, why not? What makes them unique among this world’s rules?

a grogurt parfait, huh? Sounds gross. 

“Well I’m sure we’ll cause a lot less trouble once we’re back to normal” oh Weiss, honey, I wouldn’t count on that  😂

Ugh CC Blake’s right, they've got enough problems without you reminding them of what’s happening in remnant

“Oh no, i wasn’t paying attention” Ruby you are one of 5 people and your entire bag of trauma just got poked, it’s not your fault. You gotta work on that self-blaming instinct, he says knowing full well how hard that is from personal experience (seriously, i see so much of myself in Ruby)

The Lonely carpenter and the rusted Knight

one sweet, one handsome

Guessing we’ll meet them soon enough

Also that confirms the Knight in the trailer and intro isn’t Jaune. the Knight was in the original book.

So yeah was wrong about the Chekov's butterfly

Couple interesting lines here

First

”I’m the herbalist. Until I’m not, anyway” 

Our first hint that roles are not set in stone.

and second

“Everyone needs help these days. Everyone.” Who else is Herb referring to?

“Huntresses are heroes. We protect those who can’t protect themselves” Blake is really following in Ruby’s stead, this is literally the line Ruby gives her all the way back in volume 1 when they talk about their love of books. Of course, she’s doing it after going through all the healing Ruby hasn’t done yet.  It is cool to see this dichotomy of Blake stepping up and embodying what she valued in Ruby while Ruby becomes more like she was in volume 1 and 2

Also, I like that Ruby’s answer to “What does a huntress do” is “fight monsters”. it shows that she’s still thinking about things wrong

“In order to help you become whatever it is you need to become, you really ought to have a better understanding of what you are now”. Great line. Cuts straight to the heart of the issue.

.”This is how a king winds up a prince”

So...the Red Prince used to be the Red King? And he became the Red Prince, perhaps because he didn’t understand who he was, and thus who he wanted to be wasn’t quite right? We’ll see. But clearly there’s a much more complicated transformation process that can happen here than we expected. Perhaps a far more literal one, as well.

“You don’t have to go forward you know. You could go back. Back to before.”

Before she lost her arm. It’s not about her arm though--it’s about everything. It’s about going back to what things were like before beacon fell. Going back to who she was like before beacon fell.

Yang is shocked--but she doesn't immediately reject the idea. Unlike Blake...

“You could just be human. Or just a cat. It’s up to you.”

“Why would i do that?”

“I told you. It’s simple. Much simpler than trying to be a bridge between human and faunus. Why struggle with that responsibility?”

So it’s clear now. The reason Blake wasn’t front and center on injustice during the Atlas arc. 

This is what she was struggling with. Well this, and taking the life of an actual living, breathing person

Doesn’t matter that it was Adam, he was still a person.

So for a couple volumes she just...stopped trying to be that bridge. Focused on proving to her loved ones that she had grown, and that she wouldn’t run away again. Showing them--and especially Yang--that she loved them.

“You could be a nobody. Isn’t that what you want? to be free?”

God i’m so proud of these girls. This is such a beautiful scene. It’s so well directed, so well written, and there’s so much we can all learn from it, purely on an emotional growth level..

And then we come to Ruby. And unlike her friends, she doesn’t have it in her to reject the part of herself that appears here. Instead, she gets this brutal face-to-face with all of her worst insecurities, worst impulses, all her imposter syndromes and her habit of putting everything on her own shoulders. honestly this section deserves a deep dive all its own.

“You don’t even have to be Ruby Rose. So. Who are you gonna be?” 

Ruby is gonna go through a major transformation this volume. I can only hope it’s the one she needs.

I’m really curious why exactly CC was so angry about what Herb was doing. What exactly did he do wrong? Hopefully we will find out tomorrow. 

the “That’s a bit much” lien from herb intrigues me though.  Was he affected by the pain the girls--and Ruby in particular--were being forced to confront?

“Take a little bit of my heart”

Really curious about CC’s powers

and little being adorable again. Can’t wait for tomorrow!!

[wazzuppy]

gosh it rlly frustrates me sometimes that some ppl just see ruby as like,,,, this "uwu soft bean, no thoughts head empty" type character. like, while i think that reading is true to an extent, it rlly kind of ignores the many other qualities ruby has. because ruby is genuinely very smart, strong, kind, and loving, and i feel like thats often not acknowledged by ANYONE really, fandom, critics, or even the writers to some degree.

while shes perhaps not academically smart, her strategic smarts are off the chart. ruby has been shown time and time again to be an incredibly quick thinker and is REALLY good at making plans on the fly, in part thanks to her very strong power of observation.

shes also, just,,,, the KINDEST and most COMPASSIONATE character on the entire show. she so clearly loves with all her heart, and is damn near viciously protective of the ones she cares for. but she is also so willing and open to accept others into her circle, even if theyre strangers or theyve done things that are,,, less than respectable, to say the least.

and of course, ruby's absolute best quality is, in my opinion, her unyielding strength of heart and will. there have been so, so many times where things went wrong. where she lost someone or something and everything seemed like it was crumbling around her. times when she was scared, or sad, and wanted to quit.

but she didn't. she kept going. she continued to hold onto hope. any time she or others were filled with doubt or grief, she was always able to push through it. because she believes in her friends. because she believes in a brighter tomorrow.

ruby rose is the the embodiment of "keep moving forward." she is the brightest light in the show, and continues to inspire hope within her family, friends, and the audience no matter what. she is a simple soul, who loves more than anything else she could ever do.

she's my favorite character in the show, and im just kind of tired seeing her be so underrappreciated outside of the surface level character traits she shows. so, consider this a ruby rose appreciate post, because i love her.

[bang-bang-gang]

ok opinions in order of voting under the cut. dont forget to do your own voting over at @mostbelovedaewwrestlertournament!!!!!

shibata vs malakai black: shibata because of that turkey leg in his trunks jack perry mentioned

kamille vs mariah may: well only one of those i can trust that speaking out against women's bodily autonomy is like. a heel bit. and not their real rancid politics

julia hart vs marina shafir: okay this one is MEAN but. julia. i adore marina's indie work and i love how much of a killer she is, but i don't enjoy that she doesn't get to wrestle at all while in the death riders and i wish she had more of a personality than sexy scary lamp

juice robinson vs mark briscoe: points at url the choice here is obvious but this made me realise i NEEEED to see a promo battle between these two

jon moxley vs marq quen: sorry quen......

josh woods vs mark davis: oh this choice is a struggle for wildly different reasons.. i went with davis because im really sad about him missing from the will vs kyle storyline right now

johnny tv vs matt menard: ANOTHER impossible choice!!!!! we're going with daddy magic cause no doubt about it

jeff jarrett vs matt taven: ANOTHER impossible one but [matt taven voice] i'm matt taven!! also i heard double j was using sexist slurs so boo blonde man boo

jay white vs matthew jackson: well here is my diabolical reasoning..... i dont like EVP bucks that much and since this question posits jay white versus MATTHEW jackson i must therefore assume brat matt jackson doesn't count here. so like. points at url again

jay lethal vs max caster: cringefail beloved prince

jamie hayter vs mercedes martinez: i hope the lesbians can forgive me but the way jamie kisses her own bicep mesmerizes me

isiah kassidy vs michael nakazawa: beloved zay

harley cameron vs brodie lee: give harley ALL the awards and the belts and the tv time and the everything. whenever harley is not on screen everyone should be asking where is harley cameron

hikaru shida vs mjf: shida my beloved i wish she was on aew mor consistently

emi sakura vs nick wayne: okay my vote is obvious but now i want to see a match between the two. the child star-maker vs the child. she would sell for him like crazy please i need to see it now actually

diamante vs penelope ford: the votes on this are crazy actually i know penelope's boobs look good but i'm blaming homophobia on this one. watch roh guys

deonna purrazzo vs peter avalon: they both have big Main Character(cringe) energy but i think my vote here is obvious too

darby allin vs queen aminata: my queen....my liege..... im not a darby hater im just gay sorry darby fans

daniel garcia vs red velvet: another mean vote but danny's like. got everything. the total package

colten gunn vs ricochet: i think ricochet is having the time of his life rn and i think he's hilarious but points at username

colt cabana vs riho: miss you my beautiful princess

chuck taylor vs ruby soho: MISS YOU MY BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS

chris jericho vs sammy guevara: oh okay

buddy matthews vs saraya: proud part of the 9.3%........ #sarayadefender #no not in that way i just like her character

bryan danielson vs scorpio sky: no matter how much they try to make me hate you bryan i could never hate you bryan....

bandido vs tay melo: i cant wait to see tay back in aew!!!!!!! sorry bandido

athena vs the beast mortos: i was watching an athena match as i am making this list and she's just so good. her energy in the ring is so unmatched and i love the way she talks to a crowd ans how pissed off she gets. she has the energy of an angry norwegian lemming (look it up) yet she doesnt even come off as #cringe most of the time. her acting is just SO good and SO fun i love her so much

anna jay vs toni storm: MEAN TO HER????????? voting for the underdog as my civic duty

abadon vs willow nightingale: oh noooo im so sorry my beloved zombie but.. willow! shes literally willow nightingale!!

oh shit i didnt realise how many there would be before i started reblogging 😭 sorry for the spam so far i’ll gather all my comments on the rest of them in one post

[lubdubsworld]

The Devil’s own.

Jungkook x OC

Mafia Au!

Warnings : Non-Con ! Manipulation, Degradation, Shitty hero with no redeeming Qualities you have been warned. ( i mean he does get better but not much.)

Summary : Just Mob Boss Jungkook doing mob boss things.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

I wasn’t sure how long I stayed there , staring at the ceiling and trying to come to terms with what had just happened. It was revolting. It was nauseating. It made me want to claw my own skin off. I stared at the intricate designs , carved into the ceiling, the panels that reflected life and made the room seem bigger than it was. The scent of jasmine and rosemary clung to the sheets and the drapes in the room, cloyingly sweet and meant to arouse the occupants.

I wondered how I’d got here.

I had memories of satin silk sheets and bright lights. My father had always spoiled me, the best of the best only for his only daughter and I’d indulged in luxury to my heart’s content. More shoes than I could possibly wear in a life time. Every season’s collection, straight into my wardrobe whether I asked for it or not. Diamonds and rubies and emeralds set in platinum and gold , jewelry to match my clothes and even my car if I felt like it.

I shut my eyes in despair. I didn’t miss the luxury as much as I missed the solitude. The option to just not do anything. My father hadn’t cared enough to see what I was upto and everyone knew that I was betrothed to Jungkook.

And that meant no dates or party invites because after the third guy got his arm in a sling after accidentally brushing past me , word kind of spread.  Stay away from Elena Gong or the Jeon kid will break your bones.

I shuddered. It had been an obsession, I thought vacantly.

Jungkook had been obsessed, even back then. I just hadn’t paid much heed to him. Because Jungkook back then had been terrifying but also ridiculously endearing in some way. He had seemed for lack of a better word…..insignificant. I was beautiful and rich, never lacked for attention and he was just one among the dozens. Even if I was betrothed to him, I hadn’t given much thought to him.

And Jungkook had taken my indifference in stride. He’d laughed and played around and I hated to admit it, treated me like a queen. Flowers, chocolates and gifts every other day . He would follow me around like a puppy , and I wondered if perhaps my dismissive attitude towards him back then had been a mistake. Did it push him over the edge?

My heart ached fiercely and when I finally willed myself to move, my body protested.

Every inch of me was sore and aching. My head because of how hard he’d gripped my hair. I sat up on shaky legs, fingers trembling as I pulled my shit up to stare at my body. Bite marks littered my skin, marring the smooth surface and I felt bile in my throat at the memory of his teeth on me.  Finger shaped bruises were beginning to bloom around my thighs and I couldn’t breathe over the agony ripping up my insides.

I glanced down between my thighs, at the sticky mess of his release dripping down into the sheets, staining the sheets a murky pink. I shuddered, disgusted. God, I hated him. Where was my phone? My clothes were still there at the foot of the bed and I noticed the small door on the right wall. Crawling off the bed on shaky legs , I limped carefully to the bathroom.

I took Hoseok’s shirt off dropping it in the corner before turning the showers on.

The water felt like a whip on my skin as I sat on the tiled bathroom floor , a small washcloth gripped tight in my hand as I carefully cleaned myself up. I had no idea what the time was… It must be very early or very late. No matter. I had to get out of here and get to Jisoo. I swallowed, imagining her alone all this time. The doctors had said she would be up in Guilt churned as I quickly grabbed a towel from the closet and wiped myself down.

It took me another ten minutes to finish dressing up and just as I finished slipping into my shoes, the door opened.  I glanced up, catching sight of Hoseok as he leaned against the door. He looked a little haggard, a black silk shirt unbuttoned to his chest and tucked into fitted jeans. I stared at him, watching the way his gaze roved over every inch of exposed skin, looking just a tad bit worried.

“The Hospital called. “ He said gently, “ They’re ready to release you sister. They want to know if you can come pick her up. The baby’s going to have to stay in the NICU for a couple of weeks.”

I groaned. Great. More bills.

“I need a job. “ I said miserably. “ Help me out.” I stared at him beseechingly and Hoseok gave me a look.

“you know the kind of jobs I provide. You’re not built for it. “ He said shortly and I shook my head, impatient.

“that’s not what I meant and you know it. You and your friends pretty much own every club in the city. Get me a job ….” I whispered, moving to stand in front of him and he recoiled.

Just as always, I thought bitterly. Coward.

As much as a coward now as he’d been ten years ago, when he’d pretended that he didn’t have any feelings for me. Pretended that he didn’t give a damn about me.

The throb in my skull grew in intensity.

My throat was dry and I felt my vision swim a bit. I was tired. Exhausted . I hadn’t slept in….how long really? I hadn’t eaten in a day…for sure… And I likely wasn’t going to be eating for a long while, let alone feeding Jisoo if I didn’t get a job right away. I had twelve thousand won to my name and that was it.

“Jungkook-“ He began but I was sick of his name so I growled.

“Fuck, do you want me to beg Hoseok? I will… I can’t … I need a job… Please.” I said desperately, staring at him and his gaze softened.

“Elena, stop looking at me like that, fuck.” He swore, turning and punching the wall hard. “ fuck.”

“Just help me get a job. I’m not asking you to give me money or something.  You don’t even have to get it for me… Just tell me who’s hiring ? Somewhere away from Jungkook and his men.” I whispered , and the sheer irony of it didn’t escape me. Jung Hoseok was possibly one of Jungkook’s main men.

He ran his hand over his forehead, shaking his head.

“You’re going to get me killed someday.” He muttered, “ Fine. There’s a club down in Itaewon. It caters to cops and lawyers exclusively so Jungkook and his men usually keep out of it. My friend owns the place. His name is Im Jaebum.  I’ll get you a job there , waitressing. Is that alright?” He said softly and I wanted to sob in relief as I nodded. Itaewon meant pretty close to where the bakery was. I could take the bus.

“Fine. I’ll talk to him and call you. Here…” He held out a wad of cash and I took it greedily, eyes widening at the 100,000 written on the margin of each note. This was a lot of money.

“Hoseok…”I said stunned and he shrugged. “ Get food and baby stuff for Jisoo. If she’s going to feed the baby she needs to eat well. Fruits and veggies and lot of protein. If you run out, tell Jaebum you need some advance. He’ll pay you well.”

I nodded, stuffing the money into my pockets quickly . I swallowed when my insides throbbed, aching something fierce.

“Thank you.” I said softly, staring up at him and he hesitated, before reaching out and gently cupping my face in his palm. I flinched at his touch and he recoiled.

“Was he… Did he hurt you?” He whispered quietly and I smiled bitterly.

“Wasn’t that the whole point?” I sighed, shaking my head . I hesitated . I wasn’t sure if Hoseok would listen to me but I had to try at least.

“ Can you not tell him? That… That I was a virgin?” I asked quietly and he nodded.

“Wasn’t planning to.” He said casually.

I stared at him. I’d always found him handsome. Beautiful. Perfect . And I wondered where we had gone so wrong.

“Do you regret it.” I whispered. “ All those choices you made.”

“Which ones? …” he asked bitterly.

“you know… “ I snapped. “ the ones that lead us here. You and me…. Standing here like strangers. “

“I wouldn’t risk my life for a stranger. Which is what I’m doing every time I help you .” He said quietly.

“So what are we then?” I demanded.

“Old friends” He said casually.

I snorted.

“Fucking coward.” I whispered , loud enough for him to hear as I brushed past him and walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I trudged all the way to the VIP room in the hospital flinching because that was probably a lot of money to be repaid , now owed directly to the devil spawn that was Jeon. I had grabbed a small meal on the way before quickly getting the bus to the Hospital. It was little past eleven in the morning and the hallways were packed with people. Sighing, I moved to the room where Jisoo was, slowly opening the door.

Min Yoongi sat on the chair next to the bed, gazing idly at my sister in law.

To say that I was shocked would be the biggest understatement of the century. My lips parted in shock, panic bubbling up inside me as I exhaled sharply.

“What-“ I swallowed gazing between him and my Jisoo, who was sitting up against the backrest on the bed, a tray of food on her lap and a small smile on her face.

“Lena!! You’re here!” She cried out softly, tears filling her eyes at once as she held both her hands up. I moved to hug her but my mind stayed on the man near the bed, his sultry feline eyes trained unblinkingly on her. I wrapped my arms around her, trying to get my breathing to regulate but it was impossible.

What on earth was Yoongi doing here?

“Mr. Min came to see me. He told me he knew Daehwan.” Jisoo said softly, looking sad but hopeful and I felt my heart turn over as I turned to stare at him.

Min Yoongi knew Daehwan as a target . A hit he had carried out himself.

But I couldn’t say a thing. Not in front of Jisoo.

“I’m only here to offer my help. It pains me to see you suffering, Jisoo. I know your husband would want you to be taken care of.” He said softly, his gaze still fixed on her and I didn’t like it. At all.

Bile rising, I gave him a glare.

“I’ll take care of her. Please don’t trouble yourself.” I said shakily and he glanced at me, lips parting a bit, turning into a smirk.

“You look… well rested.” He smirked and I flushed.

“Lena, come on… I know all this…this must be expensive. We can use all the help we can get and Mr. Min-“

“Please call me Yoongi, sweetheart.” Yoongi said charmingly and my sister in law blushed. I felt my skin crawl.

“Y-Yoongi said he has a spare room. I can’t stay in the bakery.  And it’s not like he’s a murderer or anything. He showed me his card. He’s a lawyer.” She said softly and I sighed in despair. Jisoo was naïve bordering on stupid and I wasn’t equipped to deal with this.

As I watched she went back to the food, eating ravenously and I felt my heart clench. I could see the twin damp spots at her chest and I noticed the breast pump on the table. It looked brand new. I hadn’t even thought about things she may need after the baby, too preoccupied with all the hospital bills and medicines I would have to pay for.

Diapers. Baby wipes. Those little flannel pieces mothers used to wipe down the baby. I felt my head spin, turning to Yoongi who was staring at me casually.

“Can we talk?” I said quietly and he straightened.

“Jisoo ssi… Please enjoy your meal. And here…” He gave her his phone. “ If you’re done, just give me a buzz on this.” He showed her something on the phone .” Go on try it.”

Jisoo pressed down on the screen curiously and Yoongi’s watch rang .

He grinned as she smiled.

“See? One touch and I’ll be here yeah?” He said softly, and I felt like I was stuck in some kind of drama, glancing between the pair of them.

“Are you leaving?” She asked curiously and he shook his head.

“I’ll be right here, outside. Having a word with Elena. You can finish your food and I’m guessing it’s time for you to pump again? The pediatrician said you’d have to pump every two hours with the milk so… if you get it ready, I’ll drop it off at the NICU.” He said calmly.

Jisoo nodded, staring at him with wide eyed gratefulness and I sighed in despair.

Yoongi moved to the door and I gave her a small smile before following him.

I waited till the door had closed behind me before turning to him, furious.

“What do you think you’re-“

“I want her.” He said shortly.

I felt my jaw come unhinged.

“No.” I hissed, furious and helpless with rage. “ Yoongi-“

“Don’t make me put a bullet in your head for this, Elena.” He said calmly and I exhaled shakily.

“She’s… You know she’s not like us. She doesn’t know anything about this life. As far as she knows my brother was a surgeon who got killed in a hit and run. You want to …. What do you really want? Did Jungkook put you upto this?”

“If Jungkook would have his way, your sister in law and your new nephew would both be dead. You know this.” Yoongi said casually. God, could I ever have a conversation with anyone without Jungkook being dragged into it? When did my life get twined so intimately with him?

“Where is he?” I asked quickly and Yoongi shrugged.

“He’s out of the country. He left an hour ago.”

“Switzerland….” I said before thinking and Yoongi stiffened.

“How did you know?” He demanded and I froze.

“I… I overheard …..someone.” I muttered and Yoongi moved so fast I barely caught it. The next second I was pressed up against the wall, his forearm pressing into my throat and holding me down while he held a knife right against my jugular.

“Nice try. Now the truth.” He hissed.

“Ouch..” I choked out , coughing  a bit. “ Fine.. Hoseok.. Hoseok told me.”

Yoongi pulled back.

“You fukcing him?” He asked casually and I glared at him.

“none of your business.” I snapped.

He laughed at that.

“I know you aren’t. Hoseok loves his dick too much to risk having it castrated.”

I sighed, shaking my head. I wasn’t here to talk about these bastards.

“Just leave Jisoo alone.” I said quietly and Yoongi sighed.

“What are you going to do with her, Elena. You can barely afford to feed yourself. You should be thankful I’m taking her off your hands.”

I ignored his nonsense and moved till I was pressed up against him, fingers curling into his chest. Yoongi looked surprised, lips twisting in displeasure when I blinked up at him.

“please.. Yoongi…” I begged, “ Don’t do this to me.” I said quietly. “ I … she’s all I have… She… My brother had nothing to do with any of this. You know that….He left this life decades ago. I don’t… I don’t know why Jungkook wanted him dead in the first place. I loved my brother and my brother loved his wife. I owe it to him … Please…just…Please leave her alone.” I whispered softly, letting my fingers drop to grip his arm.  

He tugged his arm away at once.

“ She needs more than empty platitudes and good intentions. She needs food and a place to stay with her baby. I’m giving her that.”

“And what do you get in return?” I demanded angrily. “ She just gave birth, fuck you. You can’t touch her , not unless you’ve lost the last shreds of humanity in that conscience of yours.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I’m not doing this for sex, Elena. If I wanted easy pussy, I would have come to you…” He smirked.  “ Don’t forget that Jungkook and I share our toys, yeah?”

I opened my mouth to retort before remembering that I was trying to get him to listen to him.

“Then why? What do you want…tell me?”

“I told you. I want her. As she is.” Yoongi shrugged.

“You killed her husband.” I said , voice shaking as I remembered what Jungkook had said. About my brother begging for his life because Jisoo was pregnant. And how Yoongi hadn’t given a shit and shot him anyway.

“A minor inconvenience. Trust me if I’d seen her before I killed him…” He sighed, shaking his head in regret and I frowned.

“You would have spared him? “ I asked bitterly and Yoongi laughed.

“No.. I would have killed him sooner.” He smirked. “ Is there a point to this whole conversation… I’m getting bored and Jisoo’s waiting inside.”

“We’re supposed to get her out of the hospital today and-“

“I’m taking her home.” He said briskly. “ I’ve already spoken to her. And She’s agreed that a ramshackle , dilapidated bakery isn’t the right place for a new mother and a tiny baby.”

And the worst part was that I couldn’t even disagree.

And I couldn’t help but feel angry, betrayed. Jisoo was…. How could she? She hadn’t even bothered to talk to me about it… Just agreeing to move in with Yoongi. She was older than me. Supposed to be the smart one. My body ached. If that was the bed she was going to make , she could lie on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Going somewhere?” Jungkook’s voice made me freeze.

I swallowed, straightening and stepping back almost instinctively. He stood in the doorway, a cigarette held between his teeth as he stared at me . He looked like he’d showered as well, hair still damp and the smells of citrus and mint permeating the air around him.

It was exactly ten days since I’d last seen him and I’d settled into a routine of sorts. Im Jaebum’s bar, Venom was an exclusive club in Itaewon and I could easily disappear into the shadows, staying low and using the beret ( a part of the uniform ) to keep my face hidden as I served the patrons. Like Hoseok had said, the place was filled with cops and lawyers. Yoongi was a frequent fixture here , stopping for just a drink on most days before heading home to my sister in law.

It made me sick but there was nothing I could do about it. Jisoo and little baby Yunsu were both home and needed a l,ot of care. And Yoongi apparently had a cook, a housekeeper and a nanny who helped her out. Jisoo was wary, her senses finally returning but she was also clearly glad to be out of the streets.

“I’m going home after I finish my shift. “ I said softly, trying not to stare as he stepped into the room. I turned away from him moving to the shelves and pushing the small canister in place.

“Where’s home?” He asked casually. I flinched when he stepped right behind me, fingers reaching out to curl on my shoulder, pulling me back till I was flush against his chest. The heat of his body seeped in through the thin fabric of my blouse and I felt my body heat up.

“You got what you wanted.” I said shakily. “ Let me go.” I whispered, dropping the cleaning cloth in the tray on the lower shelves, before moving to grab the mop. I just had to finish mopping the floor . And then I could leave.

But his grip on me stayed firm. I couldn’t move. Foreboding rose inside me.

Jungkook hummed at that, stepping closer, till I felt his chin brush the top of my head as he bent over me, arms coming around me  and fingers lightly unbuttoning the first two buttons of my  shirt. I stared at the dark ink on his forearm. , swallowing as he kept coming closer.

“What I wanted? That pathetic little display ten days ago?”  He whispered softly “ Just think about this Elena ……  I’ve been chasing you for years, I got rid of your entire family and yet I let you live. Why do you think that was, huh? “ He shook his head, “ For two minutes of you lying underneath me like a frigid bitch? You think that’s what I want Elena? Think I’ll be satisfied with that? ” He laughed.

I stared at the wall in front of me  and I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t play this sick game with him. Not when he kept changing the rules . Not when there was nothing left for me to gamble or lose.

“Jisoo. I have to go see her. Just… Just let me go see her. I need to see if she’s alright and then we can talk. ” I whispered. Jungkook smiled, tilting my  head to the side with his fingers. I felt the damp press of his lips against my jaw and my skin crawled.

“Don’t worry, Yoongi’s taking care of her.” He whispered softly and I felt my heart turn over in my chest at the reminder. I’d been forced to relent because Yoongi had taken her home to a fully finished and decorated nursery , a closet full of baby clothes for her son and nursing clothes for her. She had been bowled over and when I’d told her to think about the why of it…she’d given me a helpless sort of smile. . As far as she was concerned , Yoongi had been nothing but generous and kind… And she wasn’t going to say no to him because she couldn’t afford to..

“I… he promised me he’d let me see her. And the baby…every day. That was the deal.”

Jungkook laughed.

“I thought I made this clear . You don’t get to make deals with anyone because you belong to me. I get to decide what happens to you. Anytime. Anywhere. Do you need another demonstration , Elena?” His hand moved to my breast, groping the flesh, fingers rough and hard and I whimpered in pain.

“No..” I choked out , eyes widening in terror and he made quick work of the rest of the buttons on my blouse. Junkook hummed, kissing the back of my neck and slowly turning me around in his arms.

“Relax. You don’t have a job. How are you going to feed her and the kid? Yoongi isn’t like me. He doesn’t hold a lot of grudges. And for some reason he seems to have a hard on for your sister in law. He wants to marry her. ” He chuckled and I felt nausea bloom.

“No.. Don’t… Don’t do that to her. She’s not like us. She doesn’t know… She doesn’t have anything to do with this life.” I begged, heart racing at the thought of Jisoo, helpless and scared and alone with a baby , trapped with a fucking assassin. Yoongi killed for a living . That was his job. Jisoo was delicate and sensitive.

“She still needs to eat and live right? With what?  He’s feeling particularly generous so he’s taken her home . You don’t have to worry about them anymore… Isn’t that nice?” he smirked and I felt my throat go dry.

I clenched my fists, feeling my breath catch.

“The only person you need to worry about yourself is yourself. Isn’t that how you prefer it anyway? Beautiful selfish Elena who never gave a fuck about anyone but herself. Isn’t that who you truly are, angel?” He smiled.

“Not anyone…. Just you… I don’t give a fuck about you.” I said defiantly, staring right up at him.  

Jungkook stared at me and stepped closer, reaching out and running his fingers up and down my cheek. I flinched because he still held the lit cigarette.

“None at all?”  He asked curiously, lightly tapping on the end of the cigarette, and I flinched when the hot ash spilled onto my shoulder.

“Did that hurt, baby?” He whispered, leaning in and pressing the cigarette to my lips.” I’m sorry. Breathe in for me.” He stuck the cigarette into my mouth and I pulled away , coughing and disgusted.

I closed my eyes as his free hand went to my wrist, tugging me closer. I stiffened as he wrapped his arms around me, drawing me in till my face pressed against his chest, his body flush against mine, one hand moving back to stroke my back.

“I missed you. You’re terrible at pleasing me but I think…with a little bit of training, you can make me cum… ” He smirked. “ Let’s start with a blowjob, yeah?”

I stiffened.

“No.” I said softly and he smirked, pulling back.

“No?” He asked softly. . I felt my throat go dry in fear as I noticed the way his gaze shifted.   I bit my lips to stifle the pain as He carefully pressed the lit end of the cigarette right against the curve of my breast , pressing in for a couple of seconds and pulling away just before the skin began to singe. He glanced up at me, and I blinked through the tears, pain spreading all over my chest at the burn. That would leave a scar, I thought miserably.

“Wrong answer. Try again.” He whispered.

“Go to Hell.” I choked out.

I flinched when his fingers slipped up into my hair, gripping hard. My scalp burned, sharp and insistent and instinct made me grip his wrist, trying to get him off but it was impossible.

“Let me go..” I snapped, glaring at him. God, How I hated him.

“Was I your first??” He whispered, dragging me close enough that his lips brushed my ear. “ Never had a cock before? Was that why you were so fucking tight?”

I bit my lips, glaring at him, defiant and furious. Did Hoseok actually tell him? That two faced snake…. God , why did these fuckers never leave me alone?

“Seokjin hyung told me…Told me he was looking forward to breaking a virgin and that made me think….God, I was the first cock she ever had….” He hummed, looking infinitely pleased.

“Yes. And I got to say… I don’t know what the fuss is about. You couldn’t even make me cum.” I snapped and Jungkook grinned, grip tightening and the other hand moving to curl around my waist, squeezing hard.

“Did I make you bleed from between your legs Elena? Tell me I did….Cause that’s fucking hot. ” He whispered, voice low and gruff.

Jungkook, I thought vacantly, was a psychopath.

“Go to Lisa. Go fuck her and make her bleed if that’s what gets you off….  and leave me alone.” I whispered and he smiled, bending down pressing a kiss right where he’d burned my skin.

“I don’t need you to tell me that. She’s my fiancé. The woman I’m going to marry. And you know what that means? I actually give a shit whether she cums or not. And trust me she does. Multiple times. Sometimes so hard she passes out.”

“Or maybe she fakes it. Maybe she passes out because she can’t stand your touch either.” I shrugged. “ Because we all know that’s what she’s good at Jungkook. She faked her friendship with me , she’ll fake her loyalty to you.”

“Always got something smart to say, huh Elena? Let’s see how mouthy you get when I’m shoving my cock down your throat.”

I flinched when he pushed me, hard enough to send me sprawling on the floor. I caught myself with difficulty , throwing my hands out to keep my head from hitting the floor. I flinched at the pain that shot up my body, every inch throbbing because of how rough this fucker had been with me.

Ten days and the aftermath of that night still lingered on me.

And it was three in the morning  and I’d spent eight hours on my feet bussing tables , I was exhausted.

I closed my eyes, before pressing my palm against the floor, trying to pull myself up when I felt the press of his shoe at the base of my spine, pushing me down.

I whimpered in shock, my hands giving out and shoulder crashing down into the floor.

“Stay down for a second, baby.” He whispered and I exhaled.

I pressed my palm against the floor, head dropping on to the carpeted floor . I whimpered when I felt him crouch down, foot digging in harder into my back and I curled my fingers into the carpet to swallow the pained sound that bubbled up in my throat.

“I’m going to fuck you again. And this time I want you to do all the work.” Jungkook’s voice came from over me and I flinched. I considered the odds of me putting up a fight and actually winning. It was laughable. I wasn’t going to fight a force of nature. And that was what Jeon Jungkook was.

“ You can’t make me do anything Jungkook.” I whispered finally. “ You can hit me and rape me and kill me but you can’t make me do anything to you. You just have to live with that.”

His foot lifted off my spine and I felt hands on my arms, pulling me up till I was kneeling. I watched as he moved around to stand in front of me.

“Look at me.” He said carefully.” From now you only speak when I tell you to.”

“ Whatever.  Let’s get this over with so I can go see my sister and my nephew.“ I said shakily.

He sighed deeply at that, shaking his head.

“See, if it was upto me, I’d just put a bullet in both their heads. Cos at this point they’re just proving to be a nuisance.”

My blood turned to ice in my veins.

“ But,  Yoongi’s just getting to know your pretty little Jisoo…And he’s my favorite hyung. So I’m going to let her live. But, let’s not invade their privacy for a while.” He began unbuckling his belt and I felt nausea rise inside me.

“Jungkook?” The voice came from the door and I stiffened.  Jungkook groaned.

“Baby, what the fuck are you doing here?” He said gruffly, standing up and using his knee to push me out of the way roughly. I swore, gripping the edge of the table near me to steady myself before turning around to stare at the woman at the door.  I stumbled to my feet, still feeling a little out of it. I needed food. Before I collapsed in a heap on the floor.

“You were supposed to come see me tonight. I went looking for you everywhere and I find you here about to get with some common whore?”  she shouted and I stiffened, glaring at her.

She stood framed in the doorway, staring at me for a second before letting her gaze wander all over the room. She stared at me, eyes taking in the unbuttoned blouse and I quickly moved to put the buttons back on.

“Did you fuck her?” She demanded angrily and Jungkook hummed.

“Since when did I owe you answers, angel?” He asked casually and I watched the woman’s eyes widen, before her brows furrowed in a frown.

“ So what, I can’t ask you who you’re with ?” She asked angrily and Jungkook groaned , kicking out at the nearest stand with enough force to send it toppling over the side, crashing to floor and breaking on impact. I stumbled, back, wrapping my arms around myself as he fairly growled.

“What the fuck is up with all you cunts today?” He demanded, glancing at me in distaste. “ I come back after busting my ass at work for ten entire days . I just needed to get my dick sucked and you two.” He shook his head, hand reaching into his jacket and I felt my eyes widen when he pulled his glock out, releasing the safety and loading the gun before pressing the muzzle right against her skull.

The woman whimpered, hands held up as he tapped the firearm against her.

“You. You don’t come anywhere near me unless I send for you. Is that clear?” He asked sharply and she nodded frantically, abject terror written all over her face.

He turned to me.

“And you. You’re coming with me.” He said quietly and I felt my eyes widen. I opened my mouth to protest but the girl at the door beat me to it.

“I think not…. You’re not taking her anywhere, Jungkook, I’ll-“ She began, reaching forward to grab him and Jungkook moved so quickly, I could barely blink.

The shot rang out , making me jump and I watched as she crumbled to the floor, crying out in pain. I stared in horror, watching the hole in her arm, spilling blood all over the floor and the hallway and my throat went completely dry,  staring at the girl on the floor and the blank, absolutely merciless look on his face.

“Just because I let you sit on my cock once in a while, doesn’t mean you get a say in how I live my life.” He said quietly, using his foot to prod her hip. He glanced at me and I felt my throat go dry as he pulled the glock back to reload it.

He aimed the gun right at me, eyes dark and heavy.

“Are you going to be good for me, baby? Or do you need a physical demonstration as well?” He tilted his head to where the girl was on the floor, pressing her palm against her arm.

“She’s  bleeding out.. “ I choked out. “ you need to get her help, Jungk-“

Another shot rang out and I jumped, heart in my throat as I tried to understand what had happened. It took me a second to realize that he hadn’t shot me. That he had fired at the ceiling.

“Answer the bloody question Elena.” He growled and I flinched, nodding.

“I… I’ll listen… Just…” I glanced back at the poor girl on the floor.” Get her some help.”

Jungkook smiled a little. He turned to the girl on the floor and shook his head.

“Get up baby. Go find Hoseok and get that patched up, yeah? And don’t provoke me the next time, yeah? ” He said casually and she stumbled to her feet, looking disoriented and scared as she moved out of the door.

“ And you. “ He glared at me. “Finish dressing up and follow me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where are we going?” I asked nervously, fighting the instinct to just take off at a sprint, as we walked down the road to where his Mercedes was parked.

“My home. Where else?” He said casually and I stiffened.

“Jungkook-“

“Didn’t I tell you not to speak unless I ask you to, Elena? I’m jet lagged and angry. Trust me , you don’t want to piss me off now.” He said casually and I swallowed.

He opened the door for me, the polite gesture so at odds with what he was doing that my head began to throb.

But I climbed in nonetheless. I stayed quiet for the short ride to his apartment , eyes fixed straight ahead and Jungkook was quiet too. I was too exhausted to be scared, I thought despondently, my eyes drooping because of how long I’d been up. Glancing out the window, I watched the cars whizz by, people living their lives, completely unaware that almost all of them were merely tiny little gears in a machine run exclusively by men like Jungkook. That all their lives, spent working and earning and dying…it was all meaningless. They had no say in anything. People like Jungkook were the ones who got to shape the world to their liking. The ones who got to play God.

And Jungkook was definitely the closest to an omnipotent human I’d ever come across.

Powerful, untouchable and terrifying.

So perhaps, it was a little flattering, that I was the one thing he couldn’t get out of his head.

I glanced at him discreetly.

He was beautiful, I thought with a pang. One of the most beautiful men on this planet. Despite the years, his boyish charm was still right there on his face and he could slip on a plaid shirt , a white t shirt and stone wash jeans and pass off as an innocent college student. I stared at the taut jaw, the long column of his neck and the broad back. His biceps bulged when he gripped the steering when and my eyes lingered on the long fingers curled around the wheel.

I jumped when his hand moved to grip the stick shift , curling on the knob and yanking it back with force. I swallowed, thighs pressing together as my mind shifted to that night in Hoseok’s club. I hated myself for how often I relived it. And not always with disgust.

My fingers fell on the ring on his finger. His engagement ring, I thought with a pang. Lisa. Beautiful, wonderful Lisa who had been a dear friend . Once. For all her shortcomings I knew she loved the man who sat next to me. Cared deeply for him, even. Why else would she do this to me? She must have strong feelings for him , if  it had prompted her to throw away our friendship of over a decade.

“You’re cheating on her then.” I said quietly.  His reminder to not talk to him rang in my head but I couldn’t stop myself. He wasn’t a stranger. And that ring…the ring that promised to bind two people forever….. I’d worn it too. For him.

Jungkook didn’t reply, merely glancing at me in passing.

I sighed, looking at my knees, feeling my shoulders tremble a bit.

“Is she going to be there?” I asked quietly.

He exhaled sharply. I noticed the way his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“No.”  He said shortly.

“She lives with you right? You said we’re going home ….then where is she-“

“What is this, twenty fucking questions?” He snapped and I swallowed. “ I’m not taking you home to my fiancée Elena, do I look like a fucking idiot? “ He shook his head.

Before I could demand more answers, he was pulling over into a side alley. I watched as he carefully parked the car before stepping out.  Second later, he was coming around and opening the door.

I stared at him, gripping the hem of my blouse, tight. My stomach twisted into knots.

“Can’t you just let me go?” I whispered softly, pride forgotten in the wake of my tiredness. Jungkook stared at me, face eerily blank.

“Get out of the car.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Like it?” He asked softly and I stood on the threshold, taking in the lavishly decorated apartment on the top floor of the building. I noticed the portrait right up front, a large full sized photo of me and Jungkook from nearly a decade ago, wrapped around each other in a hug , showing off our engagement bands.

“What is this?”

“It was supposed to be your wedding gift. From me. I bought it for you. Nine years ago. Thought you should see it.” He said quietly.

I stayed perfectly still , as he wrapped his hands around me in a hug.

“Why did you leave me, Elena?” He asked quietly and I felt my throat go dry.

“Why do you still have this place? Get rid of it.” I snapped. He laughed at that , pulling away and turning me around till I stared at him.

“ Will you stay here, with me?” He asked softly and I froze.

“You’re out of your mind.” I said shortly.

He hummed.

“Possibly. But then, the problem is this. If I tell you , you can’t leave this place ever again….There’s not much you can do about it, right?” He said thoughtfully and I felt a sob building in my chest.

“I… Don’t.” I said shakily.

“You should see the bedroom. Come.”

His fingers wrapped around my wrist dragging me past the lavish couch and sofa, past a well kept bar onto a wide hallway dimly lit. He stopped at the second door on the right, reaching out to open the lock.  The room was plunged in darkness and I hesitated.

“Go on… After you, Mrs. Jeon.” He said softly . I could feel distaste creeping up my spine at the name, shivering a bit as I stepped into the darkness.

“Can you imagine, if we’d gotten married. This is what our first night together would be like…” He pressed against my back, arms coming around me , so gentle that I shivered.

“Jungkook…what are you doing?” I asked shakily.

“Shush…. “ He whispered, moving to unbutton my blouse again. I grabbed his wrists quickly.

“We aren’t married. I’m not your wife.” I said sharply and I felt him go still behind me.

“Shut your mouth and play along like a good girl.” He said quietly. He shook my hands off, moving to undo the buttons again.

Not sure what he expected, I stayed perfectly still as he hummed, pressing soft feather light kisses down my jaw and past my shoulders. His hands stroked up and down my arm as he laughed .

“Did you miss me Elena…..all these years…” He said quietly. “ Because I missed you. So much.”

He hugged me close, tight and hard.

“Are you scared?” He whispered, “ honey?”

“Oh, God…” I choked out, nausea rising up in my throat at the endearment.

“My wife…” He whispered, pressing a few more kisses against my skin before pushing me a bit towards the bed. “ Should I turn on the lights? I wanna see you.”

He nudged me towards the bed and my legs gave out when I hit the edge of it, legs turning to jelly as I sat on it, shaky and creeped out and terrified. Jungkook moved to turn on the lamp on the bedside table, a soft golden glow lighting up the bed .

“Look at you… so beautiful.” He whispered and I watched as he tugged off his shirt, before moving to his belt. He was watching me like I was something precious. Like I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“What are you doing?” I asked quietly and he smiled, running his fingers over the tattoos decorating his chest. He stopped at a large ornate tiger lily, inscribed right over his heart.

“Do you like it?” he said softly. “ I got this for you. My Elena…. As delicate as a lily and as brave as a tiger.”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“Either fuck me or let me go, I’m not here to talk about-“

He slapped me, so hard that my head whipped to the side, my face feeling like it had caught fire. I gasped, the pain spreading all over my jaw and I couldn’t quite grasp what had just happened. I pressed shaky fingers to the throbbing skin near my mouth, eyes watering at the sting.

“Didn’t I tell you to play along, angel?” He whispered sharply and I closed my eyes , shuddering.

Play along. Do it if you want to get out of here alive. ‘

Fucking psychopath.

“ It’s beautiful, Jungkook.” I whispered softly, glancing at him with teary eyes. He nodded.

“We’ll get one for you too. A wolf. With the initials JK on it…. Right here…” He lightly traced a path over my collarbone and I hoped to God, this was some sick fantasy. That he wasn’t seriously considering tattooing his initials on me.

“Strip for me baby… All of it. I want to see you.” He whispered and I hesitated just long enough to take a deep breath. I reached back, quickly undoing my bra clasp and pulling the fabric off.  I hooked my thumbs into my skirt and my panties, tugging both of them off me, swiftly. I dropped all of it on the floor next to the bed, before moving to kneel in the middle of the bed, staring at him with a smile that felt physically painful.

“I’m going to make you feel good, baby.” He whispered quietly, crawling over on top of me.

“Lay down for me.” He said, and I felt repulsed, as he kissed my lips, soft and gentle, pressing in till I was flat on my back, legs parted so he could lie in between.

It was so different from last time and somehow ten times worse.

Jungkook pressed kisses all over my face, whispering gentle words against my skin that felt like acid.

“So beautiful…. Mine. You were always mine Elena. Mine to touch and mine to break . Mine to love and mine to fuck.”

I stared as he loomed over, his face inches from mine, his gaze deceptively affectionate, his eyes warm and almost soft. I watched as he came closer, his lips closing over mine. Instinctively I kept my lips together but his fingers curled around my thigh, squeezing hard enough to make me whimper, lips parting . He pressed his tongue in then , licking into my mouth and I brought my hands up, instinctively wrapping around the bare skin of his shoulders and my body thrummed at the feeling of his muscles under my fingers.

Curiosity made me foolish, and I found myself tracing the hills and valleys of his skin, fascinated by the way the muscles flexed, every time he moved his arm.

“You like that? I worked hard on those…” He chuckled, watching me curl my fingers around his biceps. He was so… big. I moved my fingers up to the hardness of his chest, splaying my palm on his pecs and my fingers caught a hard little scar, almost perfectly round and deep.

“What is this…” I asked , curious my finger dipping into the healed skin and he hummed.

“Your father . He shot me when I was chasing his car down in Jeju Do. Foolish bastard. Thought he could outrun me.” He laughed .

I glanced at him, catching his eyes and the ebbing laughter , my heart twisting.

“Then why am I here? You hate my father. You killed my entire family. So why am I here, Jungkook?”  I asked foolishly, my heart breaking a bit and he hesitated.

“Because you’re mine.” He said simply.

I closed my eyes in despair.

“If this was our wedding night…. What would you say…?” He asked suddenly.

I stared at him, confused.

“What?”

“If we got married back then… When you were eighteen. And it was our first night together….. what would you say?”

I sighed.

“I’d ask you to ….to be gentle.” I whispered.

He nodded.

“Tell me , then.”

I stared at him, feeling helpless.

“Go on, Elena.” He said again.

“Jungkook…” I began but he shook his head.

“Ggukkie.” He said softly. “ Call me GGukkie… That’s what you used to call me …when we were young.”

I clenched my fists, on his chest, resisting the urge to push him off. That wouldn’t end well for me.

“GGukkie…” I whispered, finally, glancing up at him, licking my lips and parting them gently, eyes as wide as they could go, “ you know its my first time right?”

Jungkook’s eyes fairly danced at that and he hummed, leaning closer.

“Is it, baby?” He asked, reaching up to brush my hair away, fingers gentle on my face.

Get into it. Get into it and get it over with.

“You know it is…” I pouted, “ No one else can touch me. I’m yours , aren’t I GGukkie…”

He laughed, rubbing his nose against mine.

“That you are, kitten.”

Kitten? That’s a new one.

Shut up and stay in character , fuck.

I was so fucking screwed.

“ So… will you be gentle?” I whispered , “ I don’t want it to hurt.”

Jungkook wrapped his arms around me rolling over and taking me with him till I was lying flat on top of him.

“Then how about this angel? You can ride me…. As slow and gentle as you like. Make yourself feel good on my cock, yeah….?”

I stared at him.

I’m gonna fuck you and you’re going to do all the work.

He’d played me like a fiddle.

“Well baby? Go on…. Take my pants off.”

I exhaled angrily, before moving down, to tug on his pants. He helped me take them off kicking off his boxer briefs as well.

That’s a beautiful dick. Objectively. Very pretty.

Shut the fuck up.

“ Get it wet for me baby….” He said softly. I glanced down at the hard length of it, jutting out of the small thatch of hair and felt my mouth go dry . Which would be counterproductive if I wanted to get it wet. So I swirled my tongue around my mouth, trying to get my mouth moist, before leaning down and carefully wrapping my lips around the head.

Fuck, he tastes good.

I shook my head a bit to clear the voice in my head, glancing up at him with my lips stretched around the soft pink head and he was looking right back at me, eyes heavy and dark .

“Go on baby, take more of it in, use your tongue…make me feel good.”

I closed my eyes, letting the spit coat the hard length of his cock, sinking down till the tip began to inch down my throat. I sucked lightly, running my tongues back and forth on whatever skin I could touch and it was like sucking a lollipop except the lollipop was thick enough to stretch my mouth wide and hit the back of my throat.

I felt his hand reach into my hair, gripping hard and I whimpered.

“Be gentle…” I whispered, pulling off and his eyebrows shot up , clearly in surprise . He stared at me for a second, as though considering my request and then his fingers loosened , threading through the strands soothingly.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He whispered . I went back to sucking him off, somehow my natural tendency to work hard making me bob up and down, using my tongue and taking him as deep as I could. I felt a sick sort of satisfaction when he moaned in pleasure and for some damn reason I wanted to draw more sounds out of him.

This is a dream. Either that or you tripped over a pothole and fell into another dimension.

“ Are you wet ? Come here, so I can check….” Jungkook said softly and I pulled off moving up to straddle his hips. I flinched when he reached down, tracing my slit with carefully fingers before slipping in two. I tightened against the intrusion, still sore on the inside and he pulled his fingers out, bringing them up to my mouth.

“Suck…and get them nice and wet if you don’t want it to hurt.” He said quietly and I wrapped my lips around his fingers, letting my spit coat the slender digits.

When he pushed them back into me, the slide was easier , wetter and I gripped his shoulders, trying to relax around him. It felt foreign but also good… I felt good…

I stared down at him, the broad muscled body and the handsome face and for a crazy moment I imagine what it would have been, if I had married him. Would it have been this….this… weird pleasure that was somehow both painful and exhilarating at the same time. I bit my lips as he curled his fingers inside me, rubbing at some spot high up inside me that sent heat shooting straight up my spine, slick dripping out of me and onto the hard planes of his stomach like honey from a comb.

“Now sit on my cock.” He said quietly. I trembled, reaching down to lightly grip his cock, moving till the head lined up right against my slit or where I thought my slit was. Biting my lips, I lowered my body, feeling my body cleave to let him in, his cock pressing in and in and in.

My knees gave out and I slid down the length of him, the sudden, incredible fullness knocking the breath right out of me.

“ Fuck…baby….you alright?” He whispered and it messed with my head, the way he actually looked concerned and worried and I couldn’t take anymore of it.

“Please… Please… I just… I want to go home…” I whimpered, feeling full and stretched out, my thighs trembling and my insides wet and warm and somehow stuck between wanting more and wanting it to end.

Jungkook grunted, fingers curling over both my hips and lifting me lightly and with ease.

“Come on baby…. Ride me….” He whispered, “ Put your hands on my chest and roll your hips, up and down .”

I did as he said, one hand braced against his chest, the other gripping his shoulder as I tried to move on him but it was hopeless. I had no energy or inclination to do this and the pleasure was fast ebbing into frustration. Jungkook seemed to sense it because he growled.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking bad at this… Fine… Just lay there and let me use that stupid cunt of yours.” He snapped,  gripping my waist and folding his knees just enough to brace his feet on the bed. I gasped as I got lifted a bit , his cock slipping in impossibly deeper , the tip nudging close to my cervix , the lightest brush of it send sharp jolts of electric pain pleasure up my spine.

“Oh fuck,..” I breathed as he pistoned into me, hips hitting my ass with brutal force as he fucked up into me and I could only tremble, eyes fluttering shut, fingers going numb from how hard I was gripping him.

“You’re gonna cum today… I’m gonna make you cum on my cock…” He growled, reaching down and pressing his thumb against my clit, rubbing softly, slow circles that were almost gentle compared to the brutal pounding oh his hips and I felt my mouth go slack, wetness slipping out of my tongue and dripping down my chin because of how excruciatingly good it felt, having him so deep, pressing in against the edge of my womb and I and to press my palm, right up against my belly , stunned because of how my body seemed to open and shift to make room for him.

“I’m gonna cum inside you, right inside your womb, fuck…. Gonna carry my babies for me, right sweetheart? Gonna watch you get round and full with my seed , watch you drip milk all over me with those beautiful tits….fuck…”

The shock of his words sent me over the edge, my body clenching down on him as I came, my orgasm so strong that I felt like I was cramping up on the inside and I toppled forward onto him, landing on his chest and bouncing a bit. Jungkook grunted a little, wrapping both his arms around me, holding close as he fucked me right through the aftershocks, body stilling only when I stopped shuddering and I felt warm wetness spill inside me, so deep that I knew I would have to swallow three morning after pills after this, although I was on birth control.

Because one could never be too sure with these things.

Jungkook stayed still under me and it took me a few seconds to catch my breath. I finally levered myself off of him, legs shaking as I rolled over and onto the bed before breathing in huge lungfuls of air.

“Can I go?” I choked out.

Jungkook grunted. “ Get the fuck out of here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I stumbled out of the cab, exhausted and out of my mind with self loathing, I didn’t expect to see Hoseok sitting on the pavement outside the bakery, leaning against a streetlight, face warm but determined.

“Hobi?” I asked stunned. “ What are you-“

He cut me off with a kiss.

I stared wide eyed as he pulled me into an embrace, wrapping me in warmth and scent of his cologne, his hands impossibly gentle around me as he all but cradled me against his body, his lips moving gently against mine.

“Elena…” He breathed against my lips, eyes glinting . “ I love you. I’ve been in love with you for years. I’m so fucking sorry for being such a coward but you deserve to know… you deserve to know how I feel about you.”

I stared at him in disbelief, my heart pounding as I punched his chest in desperation.

“No… No fuck you… what are you doing…. He’ll kill you…” I hissed and he tightened his arms around me.

“I don’t care.” He hissed. “ I don’t… I can’t just… I can’t let him hurt you like this. I won’t. I’m going to tell him. I’m going to tell him to let you go or lose our friendship.” He said angrily and I trembled.  

My heart raced because Hoseok was the only one I’d ever loved. In every way a girl could love a boy. He was and had always been this confusing breed of brother and friend while everyone had drooled after Jeon Jungkook , I’d always been drawn to him…drawn to his quiet strength and to the way he had always treated me as an equal…

But… but Jungkook…. Jungkook who would put a bullet in his brain without a thought if he thought that Hoseok was trying to move in on something that belonged to him…..

“Hoseok…just… Don’t. I… I love you too…” I breathed out, tired and scared and so fucking worried because what if someone was listening even now..what if word got to Jungkook and he tried to hurt ….i couldn’t even think it.

“Come find me when Jungkook is busy . When he can’t find us…” I said softly, reaching out and pressing my palm against his face.

“I’m not scared of him.” Hoseok growled  and it was ridiculous.  

“But I’m scared of losing you. “ I said quickly. “ We can’t… He can’t know. Ever.”

Hoseok nodded before pulling me close again.

“Was he too rough?” He whispered and I blinked, flushing. I shook my head.

“No.. I. No. I think…”

“I hate that he was the one to touch you, first. You.. You deserve to know how good it can be…. How gentle.. I want to… fuck…” He shook his head pulling away and I wrapped my arms around myself.

“We can’t…” I said quietly. “ you know we can’t.”

He glanced at me, eyes blazing and lips parted and I groaned.

“Don’t look at me like that Hobi…” I whispered, shaking my head.

“Tomorrow. He’s going to Jeju Do , to inspect a new resort. He won’t be back till the day after. Call in sick at work.” He said quietly and I bit my lips, feeling a bit like a whole idiot.

I nodded.

He reached forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

No self preservation skills at all, I thought miserably.  

If Jungkook found out…….

Author’s Note : I’ll add the taglist here tomorrow

[wildtornado-o]

Tell us more about the Roman survives AU? :3c

Ok so like i dont have too much figured out but. It plays out relatively the same up until the battle on the airship, Neo still flies off but this time, instead of just flying through the sky Roman has to see her get eaten by a grimm </3 obviously hes distraught and furious at Ruby so he starts attacking her but before he can kill her (or the nevermore can get to him) the ship starts exploding earlier. So Roman and Ruby both get caught in the explosion, Ruby narrowly avoiding getting hit as bad as Roman did by using her semblance

Im considerinnnggg Roman taking some collateral damage from the ship exploding but im not sure if I want to make it like, some scars, or hes missing a limb or 2 cuz explosions r nasty (leaning towards both, hurting my favourite characters is always fun) But yeah after he wakes up from the explosion hes like. Severely injured but he still takes time to look for any sign of Neo, only finding her parasol. He realizes shes absolutely dead and just snaps like hes not ok. Blah blah gets medical attention probably a replacement limb from the underground, falls off the face of Remnant and from public eye entirely, people just assume both he and Neo died in the fall (Ruby doesnt know he lived).

Then he tracks down Cinder in a similar manner to what Neo did, by going to Lil Miss and shes just like "Holy shit Roman what happened to you" He asks for help tracking Cinder, Lil Miss knows hes serious because he came back to her of all people. Not sure how I want the Cinder and Roman confrontation to be, but hes a lot less willing to work with her and only does it because he thinks Salem may have a way to bring Neo back (Hes smart enough to figure out shes immortal lol).

Roman also uses Cinder to his advantage and goes after Ruby too, since he literally watched her be the cause of Neos death. Hes really sad and angry and filled with blood lust u know how it is. Idk what his role in the Atlas arc would b yet still figuring that out.

And then in the Ever After since he doesnt have a semblance it plays out very differently. Hes less fueled by rage than Neo was, and moreso heartbreak and regret that he wasnt able to keep Neo safe, just as he had always worried when he brought her into his life. Whiiiich makes him easier to break. The cat notices this, and the moment they do they give up on breaking Ruby (no suicide tea party, yet there is still tea idk how i want to implement that yet. Maybe Neo as the March Hare kinda thing where she was conjured by the ever after somehow and theyre just chilling drinking tea like they used to, similar to the Hatter and Hare in the original)

When the cat breaks Roman its like ugly and he just collapses and stuff because hes really lost everything and hes completely alone again. Thats what the quote I wrote in the art I posted is from, Roman felt as if he wasnt enough to save Neo, the cat bribes him with a promise of making him enough. The cat uses his body's fighting ability as a small power up (nothing near neos, but still pretty ok) Ruby gets forced into ascension instead, since shes still pretty broken.

And this is all I have so far lol need to figure out the finer details but yknow