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tyrannuspitch · 4 years ago

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been reading abt this one genetic study and it is rlly interesting but also bc using modern genetics to infer stuff abt history is something i'm Aware you have to be Cautious of it does kind of result in me having Knowledge that i don't feel entirely comfortable thinking of as Knowledge. which is a v weird state of mind. esp when some of the original phrasing was already really cautiously vague.

(cut to ramble abt boring things i am in no way qualified to teach)

like okay time to ramble: i found it bc as part of a long slowburn identity crisis i got rlly frustrated with what little i know of history & not having a clue where to place myself in it - like, england has had so many different waves of migration and changes of regime, and also aristocracy-focused history isn't always good at even distinguishing between those, and if we don't even know which of those groups we're descended from... do we know anything??? (eg: fucking druids wld be talking abt The Old Ways and i'd be sitting here like. okay even if you weren't glorified wiccans, are they "the Old Ways"? are they??? is that our history or someone else's entirely? like, literally, i don't have any particular interest in doing this, but if i theoretically WERE to try and return to the religion of my prechristian ancestors, should i reconstruct druidry or heathenry or smthn else entirely?)

SO i basically wanted to ask how much, if at all, are the modern english descended from the various groups who have lived here. Who The Fuck Actually Are We

and i did basically get a cautious answer! (after finding better scicomm than the fucking guardian, which didn't even take enough care to clearly separate "english and cornish" from "british". fuck the guardian.) the actual conclusions we can pretty safely draw re: this question are:

1. the modern english have a v high level of similarity with other peoples of the uk (the study said "british isles" but roi was not counted), much of which appears to be v ancient dna, which means the genetic evidence directly contradicts the old theory that the anglo-saxons completely displaced/wiped out the britons of england. which is nice. love when my ancestors do not commit genocide on my other ancestors

2. the genetic "clusters" in england and cornwall showed a significant minority of dna (less as you travel north) theorised to be anglo-saxon - "between 10% and 40%". which, like i was saying, is both Information and Non Information. "congratulations participants, you're helping our understanding of history evolve bc you're def partly descended from the ancient britons but you also appear to have some anglo-saxon ancestry!" "oh cool. how much?" "oh you know... some". i know it doesn't matter in the real world but sjfkflshlk damn historic population geneticists u live like this? (they weren't even saying "25% +/- 15%". didn't even give us an average. just like. somewhere in this range lol)

(okay actually i am in Explaining Mode so here goes. afaict part of the problem is they're not even sure which common ancestry to be counting. only clusters in england/cornwall have any northern german common ancestry, but everyone in the uk has danish common ancestry - BUT the danish dna is significantly higher than average in groups w n.german dna. so the problem is: what's ancient, what's anglo-saxon, could any of it be viking? we just don't know.)

(they might have been able to tell by dating it but idk if they tried. and also some of their other dating was coming out Wonky - eg iirc the n.german dna is mostly dated to abt 300 years after anglo-saxon migration ended. so what's going on? did the two communities just take a v long time to integrate, or is something afoot?)

(also, of course - england is pretty genetically homogenous but there is still Some variety by region in this genetic component so making a sweeping statement abt "the english" is hard.)

3. there is a Mystery ComponentTM that makes up a larger segment than the alleged anglo-saxon dna, is found in england, scotland and northern ireland BUT not wales (so it's not just Basic British Ingredients), and matches northern france? i think they're guessing prehistoric migration for that. idk if they dated it. Hmmmm. ~Mystery DNA~

4. methodological info if you're concerned: they used participants from rural areas whose grandparents had all been born in the 50mile radius from them, so region-specific info should be p trustworthy, and the sample size was over 2000. they also found their "clusters" algorithmically and then plotted them back onto the map, so there shouldn't be confirmation bias there.)

(if i *were* to complain, looking at their map... scotland and wales have some gaps in them. some significant gaps.)

5. smthn we might genuinely be concerned abt in the analysis of these results - are we taking the results from places we know to have a historical migration as more meaningful than those we don't? looking at the results shows me every single cluster has a small but significant portion of common ancestry with modern belgium, maybe 1/12. (i'm looking at blurry pie charts, that's my best guess lol.) no analysis i've read has mentioned it.

on the other hand - idk anything abt the history of belgium but i wld not be at all surprised if their genetics were basically somewhere between germany and france, and we've already discussed both those places.

plus, possibly more relevantly - they DID scan for similarities with various other countries in europe and didn't find them. eg, no signficant/detectable common ancestry with the finnish. so if it's showing up at all, let alone as 10% or more, it's more than just random noise.

so it's knowledge but it's not knowledge but it's /more/ knowledge than not knowledge? yeah. i'm having a great time

6. assorted fun(?) facts for those who made it this far:

-the most unique place genetically they found was orkney (note: there were no participants from shetland), who showed ~25% norwegian ancestry, followed by wales, who as we remember have no Mystery DNA.

-the differences between cornwall and devon were minor, but they were definitely there and they followed modern county line p much perfectly!

-there were two different clusters in northern ireland and the west of scotland, but they DIDN'T break down into ireland vs scotland. it looked more like it might be a highland/lowland gael/gall thing. i don't know if they checked if the n.irish respondents were catholic or protestant but uhh probably better not to all things considered

-no matter how minutely you break down genetic differences, there is a large group covering much of england that is basically homogenous. you can tell genetically which island in orkney someone's from, but you can't tell the difference between people from north yorkshire and people from kent.

okay this has been a poorly explained ramble if you'd like to read the damn thing yourself it's this: https://peopleofthebritishisles.web.ox.ac.uk/population-genetics

nb that is their website for laypeople, i've looked at a few different interpetations of this but i haven't looked at the actual paper (yet? dk if i can be bothered going deeper. we'll see)

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0ffgun · 5 years ago

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(1) Hi ollie! I don't know if this is too much of a personal thing to ask but I've seen you talk about your bf a lot on here and it seems our situation is similar. I met my partner online just before lockdown happened and we haven't met yet but we're planning on meeting up soon and I'm really excited but also really scared because I don't know what to expect and I'm scared I'll be a disappointment. I was just kinda wondering if you could share your story of when you met your boy irl?

(2) Sorry if it's a really weird thing to ask for I just want to get an idea of the experience and you seem really happy so obviously everything worked out well so it'd be nice to get a positive point of view rather than looking at all the negative stories about meeting people online. Anyway if you're uncomfortable feel free to ignore this! Thanks

Hi there anon!! Don’t worry this isn’t uncomfortable for me at all - I’m happy to talk about it! (please excuse how gay this is going to get though, once I start talking about him I really struggle to stop dsgjkls) I’ll put this under a read more because it’s probably gonna get really long because I haven’t learned to shut up ever.

Alright so first of all (and this is the most important thing EVER) make sure you’re safe. No doubt you trust your person a lot if you’re planning on meeting up with them but even so, make sure the first time you meet is in a public place and that there is always the option of leaving if there are any weird vibes. PLEASE be safe.

And okay so before me and Ryan met up in person we’d talk on the phone for around 4 hours every night (we still do it now, we can’t sleep if we don’t talk to each other for a couple of hours first, even if it’s literally just him listening to me playing video games and making weird noises every time I die dfjgkdfl) so we were already really familiar with each other. If you haven’t done it already, I definitely recommend talking to your partner over the phone too, it gives you a MUCH better idea of their personality rather than just typing to each other all the time, and it really brings you closer too!

Our plans to meet up just kinda poppped up out of nowhere? Like we’d vaguely talked about it and then one day poof! we were suddenly desperate to meet up. Ryan lives with his parents and luckily they were totally on-board with the idea, I’d only been thinking of going over just for the one day but then his mum was like “why doesn’t he just come on the monday and go home on the friday?” and me and Sunshine LOST it jdskgjklds we were like FIVE DAYS IS SO MUCH??? And then once we had a date in mind we were just counting down and our phone calls got more and more frantic. We’d be up until 4am just talking about what it’s going to be like and getting more and more nervous. I had this really strong fear that we’d meet up and he’d realise he doesn’t like me as much as he thought he did? So you saying you’re scared of being a disappointment REALLY hits home, I feel that so much.

I remember the night before we met up we were literally just laying in the dark on the phone making these weird panicked squeaky noises at each other. And then it was finally THE DAY. He lives 2 hours away from me by train and honestly I was fine for the whole journey until I got onto the last train and realised it would only be 15 minutes before I see him for real and I basically lost my mind lmao.

It’s funny, really? I’d already seen pictures of him and talked to him literally every day but then the moment I saw him at the station I really wasn’t prepared for how truly gorgeous he is? I knew I liked him but then the moment we smiled at each other and said hi and just started giggling like IDIOTS I realised how intense my feelings for him really are and I became a whole wreck.

I wouldn’t say it was awkward at first more like it was just.. clumsy? We already knew each other on such an intimate level and yet we didn’t know how to interact in person. The first hour or so was us kind of internally flailing around and me saying “oh my god” randomly every 2 minutes and him laughing at me because of it jksgjlds. We had a bit of a walk from the train station back to his place (which was where I’d be meeting his parents too so of course I was a mess over THAT as well) and we were just walking side by side casually and in my head the whole time I was like??? HOW?? DO I HOLD HIS HAND?? Do I just grab it? Do I ask if I can?? And my brain straight-up malfunctioned and I just yelled “OKAY!” and THREW my hand out in front of him and he did the cutest laugh and then interlaced our fingers and oh god I’m never going to forget that moment e v e r.

Meeting his parents went so well I LOVE them (me and his mum are besties now I adore her) and idk things just went SO smoothly it was more than I could have ever asked for. And then his mum was like “okay go and put Oli’s stuff away etc etc” so that we could have some alone time (she’s smooth and I appreciate that) and then we ended up just watching a bunch of kpop videos while sitting together on the floor and I’d play with his hair (he has the best softest most top quality hair) and it was just so s o f t. Our first kiss was gorgeous too like it just happened spontaneously and then we both just had a whole gay panic and just sat there giggling with our foreheads pressed together for a good five minutes oh god. Honestly, I’ve been in relationships before but everything with Sunshine is like a whole new experience and it feels like I’m doing everything for the first time. I’m like a lovestruck teenager and it’s the best, and I can’t see that changing either, I think I’m always going to be this ridiculous. Literally every time he looks at me my heart does backflips and I get butterflies. I’ve found my forever boy through a random anonymous message on the internet and isn’t that just amazing?

Oh my god I wrote more than I thought I would I’m so s o r r y I really can’t shut up about him it’s ridiculous dsjgkjsd but yeah anon seriously I really hope things go well when you finally get to meet your person - please let me know how it goes!!! Don’t just focus on the things that make you nervous, make sure you also focus on the things that make you excited too! I know that people get squinty when you say you met someone online but honestly when you know, you know and at the end of the day it’s your decision. Just always do make sure that you’re safe and never do anything you don’t want to do.

#I wrote a NOVEL I'M SORRY #but yeah that's what happened when me and ryan met up #I'm seeing him again for a few days next thursday and I'm so excited I could cry #sunshine boy #anonymous #oli squeaks

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chaeryybomb · 5 years ago

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JUNE COMEBACKS REVIEW

BLACKPINK: HOW YOU LIKE THAT

ngl I’m kinda sad bc a lot of y’all don’t like the song ;-; but I can’t do anything about it since it’s your opinion so

but I hope that people know the difference between hating and giving criticism saying the song sucks and that it’s trash music is straight up music

I can get why people are disappointed with the song since everyone wanted almost the same thing, “jennie getting a rap part”, “jisoo saying blackpink in your area” and a high note from rosé

personally I really like the song, to me it’s not the same as dddd and ktl tbh I think it’s different

plus I kinda expected it to be like that bc their songs usually follow that yg style ya know the only songs I say that don’t follow that stereotypical yg style is “love scenario”, “stay” and AKMU’s songs

i mean if you compare the song with other yg artists song, they all have the same vibe to it because of the “yg style” we always say

the song also gives me nct and skz vibes too, like specifically “punch” and “side effects” bc of the heavy edm and also bc their songs has been called noise before dhshd

but enough of that

I really like how the song starts calmly in the beginning and then it starts to be more aggressive

also I like the fact that each of the girls get a chance to say “how you like that”

lisa’s rap????? y e s

personally I feel like this time it had more of a fairer distribution, including lines and center parts

like jisoo actually gets some center parts in the dance break and chorus

i also really like the outfits this era, especially the modernized hanboks! though I have mix feelings about the pink wig dhshdh

speaking of hair, jennie!! she fucking dyed her hair!!!

and rosé is no longer blonde dhsjdj

the parts I found weird is when rosé says “look up in the sky it’s a bird it’s a plane” i have no idea how that fits in the song so

and the “dumdudurum” part at the end, it sounds out of place, like especially after it the song ends

i also think that this is their best choreography! right next to don’t know what to do

overall, I really like the song, if you don’t it’s fine! hylt has the most aesthetic mv’s I’ve seen and the outfits are so much better and it has been said that BLACKPINK’s old stylist left the company in January no not maeng

lisa’s fur coat outfit reminds me of yeji’s outfit in wannabe

would I say that hylt is their best song? no, I think playing with fire was their best song but it’s not a terrible song either

another I like is jisoo owning this era, say what you want, hylt is Jisoo’s era period.

STRAY KIDS: GOD’S MENU

what even is a concept anymore

we all thought it was going to be some street racer concept

buT NO

it’s a kung fu panda concept dhshdh

felix!!! my baby has lines !!!!

his demonic voice is bACK

hyunjin’s blond hair 😭😭

what the fUCK

the way he tied it up in a ponytail, like sir that is diSRESPECTFUL he really is jaebum’s son huh

okay okay on to the song

it honestly shocked me so much, like the rap parts were so aggressive like and the vocals are kinda angelic???

i really really like the pre-chorus, seungmin’s voice is just so !!!!! i also like seungmin+i.n’s little duet after felix’s part

spEAKING OF FELIX’S PART

“looking like a chef I’m a five star Michelin” bro that part is lowkey demonic looking in the dance

like mans pulled his knees up and put his hands through them while looking directly at you

does that not look demonic to you??? my friend said it reminded her of a spider dhshdhr

also the “dududu” part instantly reminded me of bp’s dddd dhshd like can someone edit a part of bp going “oh wait till I do when I hit you with that” and cuts to skz “DUDUDU”

the fact that no one has done it yet astounishes me

also what the fuck is that chain thing on Chan’s face, who put it there and why dhshd

bless whoever gave changbin dual contacts lens

AND WHO GAVE JEONGIN SLEEVELESS SHIRTS WHO ALLOWED THAT DHSHD

at first I found the choreography a bit funny bc they added like cooking gestures to it dhshd, like stirring the pot in the chorus but my favorite part of the dance is changbin’s part

the entire album was a bop okay, the fact that “god’s menu” wasn’t even the title track and they decided to change it, the fact that jyp has so much TRUST in bang chan also we get to see chan and sana being best friends uwu

“pacemaker” is literally “my pace” 2020 ver dhshd it even has the “nananana” part!

my favorites from the album is “TA”, “blueprint” and “haven”!!

also “easy”,,,, chan what did u do that it can’t be performed in shows

TWICE: MORE & MORE

wow girl groups are really being criticized this month huh

if y’all don’t know what happened with twice, a lot of people are criticizing twice for not singing live during their encore stages

a lot of them are especially going after momo

I’ve watched their encore stages and I don’t know why people are saying they sound bad???? maybe they need a better vocal coach but the fact that people are taking advantages of the situation just to hate on them smh

a n y w a y s

the song definitely gives a whole lot of “dtna” vibes bc of the tropical concept, its like “dtna” but the mature version

if “dance the night away” had an older sister, it would be “more & more”

also I really like the eve & adam concept, “more & more” is also another “creepy”ish song that is hidden behind a catchy tune, like “yes or yes” where ppl think it’s a cute song but the lyrics says otherwise

okay actually writing this out, it’s mv has “dtna” vibe but the song is so much like “yes or yes”

if you read the lyrics, the girls are basically saying that “no matter how hard you try to hide, you’re going to be mine again”

even in dahyun’s rap she says “I’m naturally selfish, I’m sorry if you didn’t know” and “you will fall for me, you can’t say no no”

it’s almost the same as her part in “yes or yes” where she says “there is no letters n and o” dhshdh sorry this becam a whole theory

back the real song review, I’m so glad that momo got a dance break! I think that this is their fairest line distribution yet. jeongyeon got her lines, dubchaeng got their rap parts and momo has a lot of center parts!!

and the girls look so much happier during their promotions especially tzuyu! she was smiling so much, maybe it’s because mina is with them and I’m so happy they get to perform as nine again

i really like their choreography and the part where they do the chest bounce is really satisfying idk why dhsdh

plus jeongyeon got better outfits this era cough feel special era cough

overall, I really like this comeback and it’s nice that nayeon got the high notes this time instead of jihyo

IZ*ONE: SECRET STORY OF THE SWAN

oh boy this is definitely my favorite song of this month

it’s so much different than their other songs!!!

and there’s so much to go on about!

wonyoung, minju, sakura and hyewon literally improved so much. im so proud of them !!!

hyewon, nako and sakua getting to sing the chorus??? y e s

chaeyena rap parts????? y e s

chaeyeon getting a dance break AND a high note???? Y E S

my favorite parts is eunbi+chaewon pre chorus wow I have a thing for pre choruses don’t I dhsh

i will say that this song vies the girls the chance to show how much they’ve improved throughout the eras, especially the j-line and visual line since a lot of people said they didn’t belong in izone

wonyoung and yujin's expressions are really on point as well

and yena's hip move dhshdhs

it's also rlly cute how eunbi throws confetti at her part dhshd

it’s refreshing to see how the girls improved

unfortunately, izone will be disbanding this year ;-; this is why I never liked the produce series

but we do have some ideas what will happen to the members though, we all know yena will be added into everglow, i having a feeling that eunbi and chaeyeon will be debuting as a soloist, they have so much potential plus the radiate chungha energy

nako, hitomi and sakura would most likely return to Japan, although I see sakura staying in korea to pursue an acting career and hitomi as a producer since she wrote some of izone’s songs

yuri might debut as a solo or debut in a new girl group as main vocalists, the same goes for chaewon

i see minju and hyewon going into acting careers and CF contracts, the same as kang mina, especially since minju is now an mc for music core

whereas for wonyoung and yujin, their both still young so I think they’ll finish school before re-debuting in groups plus yujin will be attending sopa

especially wonyoung, we all know that she’s actually really smart and is good at academics, i also think she might do modeling work, she fits the criteria

i also kinda see yujin pursuing an acting career because she will be in the theatre and film department in sopa. unless starship is going to debut a new girl group, I hope that yujin can debut as a soloist instead

WEKI MEKI: OOPSY

*inhales*

LUCY AND LUA FINALLY GETTING THE LINES THEY D E S E R V E D

I’m so happy dhshdhhs

also lua fits the short hairstyle so much, I’ve literally fallen for her help I can’t get up

as much as I love yoojung, it’s nice to see lucy rapping

the song is very catchy, I especially like rina’s part in the second verse of the song

i also love the “wolf & hunter” concept for the album

like the pictures were very beautiful, I also like how they use white for the wolves and black for the hunters, it’s like painting the hunters at the bad guys and the wolves as the good guys

I am in love with Lucy, Lua and Sei’s “nonono” part in the chorus

and the choreography for the chorus too

as much as I love elly’s blue hair, she slays in black hair dhshd I

I really love their outftis this era, i like how it’s all pants for the girls too

my favorite outfits are the black outfits from the gif

overall, this is definitely their fairest line distribution cough tika taka and dazzle dazzle cough

NATURE: GIRLS

this is my second favorite song of the month

I love the whole horror concept and I also like the fact that they released the uncensored version of the mv

it’s give the song much more of the horror vibe

I’m new to Nature and as far as I know, a member is stuck in China and another member sat out due to an injury. please correct me if I’m wrong

the outfits might be simple, but it fits so right with the song, I prefer the white dresses over the black ones

it kinda gives out the feeling that the girls are like asylum patients ya know, whereas the black dresses gives out that the girls are rich daughters that were sent away

I really like LU and Haru’s parts

the dance is also kinda a simple but it looks great!

overall, I hope that Nature will do this concept again, actually I hope to see more groups do this kind of concepts more

WAYV: TURN BACK TIME

did this comeback scare me? yes yes it did

bro the teasers were so scARY

yangyang was literally laughing like a mANIAC

MANS WAS IN AN ASYLUM OKAY

their teasers gave me so much suicide squad vibes

also, why the fuck were 4/7 members not wearing shiRTS

sm do you have a shirt shortage??? I’m sure nctzens are more than happy to donate some shirts to you

okay anyways, I’ve always liked wayv’s sci-fi concept, I don’t know if the mv’s are connected or not but I think they are

“take off” is them basically flying away from earth and they landed in space in “moonwalk” and it seems they have been captured in “turn back time”

very inch resting dhshd

listen, I may be chinese but I can’t understand 70% of the song because of how fast it goES

so with that saying, yANGYANG DID NOT COME TO PLAY

his rap was amazing !!!! he is definitely one of sm’s best rappers along with taeyong and mark

my favorite part is lucas and hendery’s rap parts and then it switches to xiaojun and yangyang + kun, ten and xiaojun getting highnotes

the dance break is so satisfying to watch too

“stop, rewind, turn back time” and “5432” part is so satisfying

also I’m really impressed with how fast LabelV responded when fans pointed out that some of the outfits had offensive phrases in them, they took the time to edit it out of the teasers and the mv, cheers to them

also! i find it funny that wayv released the Korean version of “turn back time” but all of us were much more shocked at the fact that Ten got another cat dhshd

SEVENTEEN: LEFT & RIGHT

first of all, dokyeom looks so gOOD IN THE MV

second of all, vernon and wonwoo’s “hana dul set” will forever be iconic

third, seungcheol is back 😭😭

just like twice, they get to perform as 13 again dhsjdsn

AND THEY LOOK SO HAPPY DURING THIS ERA TOO

LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN WONWOO?? HE’S SUCH A SMILEY BABY with his orange mic dhshd

also if y’all don’t have tiktok, svt has been doing the “left & right” with so many other idols including chungha and apink’s naeun!

haha joshua hong and wen junhui being real disrespectful with those sleeveless shirts

bonus point we got svt x nct china line + mark and joshua interaction at music bank

their choreography looks so fun too dhshd

the entire comeback is so cute and colorful

my favorite parts are vernon and seungcheol’s rap parts

also vernon be rocking that greaser style

their new album is so versatile, like, “fearless”, “left & right”, “kidult” and “my my”?? who’s doing it like seventeen

i love their new songs so much especially “kidult”

overall, I really really love this comeback

WJSN: BUTTERFLY

I couldn’t find a group scene gif pls forgive me

let me say, I am absolutely in love with the concept, the outfit concept for this is so creative, I don’t know if any other groups have done it before but !!

their outfits evovle like a butterfly!!

at first, the outfits were plain pastel colours but they slowly become more detailed and colourful throughout the stages, like a caterpillar to a butterfly!

center yeoreum!!!

and dayoung looks so pretty in short hair 🥺

and again, as far as I know, the Chinese members are in China, two of them are apart of the Chinese group Rocket Girl and I think Chengxiao recently returned to Korea

I really like their ending pose where their hands are in the butterfly gesture and the “wings” are slowly flapping

and how their arms represent their wings during the chorus

by far one of the moor creative comebacks in my opinion

also, it’s nice to hear soobin doing the high note instead of yeonjung, let yeonjung rest her voice once in a while ya know

SUNMI: PPORAPPIPAM

THE QUEEN IS BACKKK

also wonder girls reunion uwu

the teaser gave me so much "barbie: island princess" vibes so the entire mv was not what I expected

at all

the mv literally describes sunmi a lot, she basically does whatever the fuck she wants like when she posted that pic of jyp on instagram dhshdhs

it’s so funny especially the scene where sunmi is wearing the teletubbies head

and at the end when she wakes up and goes back to sleep is just a mood lmao

something about the song really gives me a lot of “siren” vibes but happier???

i really like the way she pronounces “pporappipam” it took me one week to finally pronounced it dhshd

idk why but I really like the instrumental, especially the intro, it’s very melancholic

also she wears converse while performing the song bc she has to step on the dancers at one part !!

speaking of that part, it’s so cool!!! the way she climbs up the dancers like stairs and then she just trust-falls into their arms

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joe-hardys-cheeseburger · 5 years ago

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MY BEST FRIEND NAMES/DESCRIBES ND CHARACTERS

(ABBY SIDERIS) this girl’s name is probably like dorothy or priscilla or something and she looks like a karen in the making idk. why is her nose so tiny compared to the rest of her face,, i dont think she knows how to dress herself and also what is her fringe bc thats kind of tragic. shed probably laugh at me if i fell into a ditch or something 3.5/10

(NICK FALCONE) okay his name is probably tristan or sm. this guy is probably the weird uncle that like comes to every family reunion to mooch off of other people’s money but any other time of the year he’s off the radar n he probably lives in a shed in the middle of nowhere with his dog. he definitely has some kind of junky convenience shop in order to make money but sells like really weird exotic food that no one likes. he probably wears the same shirt for like 3 days straight and then has five other shirts that he wears on rotation 4.26/10

(RED KNOTT) okay anyway this guy looks like a peter and he probably wandered off into the woods or something and now he’s lost and nancy drew has to save him or something idk. he looks like he collects really weird stuff like marbles or thumbtacks or something. he also probably mumbles when he speaks so u have absolutely no idea what hes saying half the time but u dont want him to repeat himself bc u feel bad so u just kind of go with it. he probably offers u candies but they’re old and expired and u have no clue where they came from 7/10

(HENRY BOLET JR) vicky or venula or something that starts with a v and she probably lives in a really old mansion which makes her go kind of senile but she looks like a cat lady and probably screams at you if you try to touch any of her cats. she has all of these weird antiques in her house as well but she never cleans them so they’re covered in dust but when you touch them she also screams at you. she also probably has some kind of thorn garden outside and when you go near it she screams at you. the house she lives in is probably musty and smelly and you’re always coughing up dust 4.99/10 (side note: I told her Henry was a man and she didn’t believe me)

(IZZY ROMERO) WAIT i saw her extremely briefly when u payed the school game but i forget her name i think it was izzy or isabelle or isabella or some kind of variation of that but she looks like a penelope. anywho she’s like the really weird receptionist/librarian or something and she always talks over you when trying to talk to her and she makes these frenzied hand movements when talking. she probably has a really nasal voice and is always cussing you our for something that you didn’t do and always tells you to “keep it down” (if she happens to be a librarian) when ur not even making noise. is also probably just a pain when ur trying to solve the case and always goes on these rambles about her roomate/so/parents/friends/whatever and u rly dont care but whatever 6/10

#nancy drew #nancy drew memes #nancy drew pc #red knott #izzy romero #abby sideris #nicholas falcone #henry bolet jr #clue crew

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badwolfwrites-sometimes · 5 years ago

Text

Drawn Together: Chapter 12

Feliciano might be overreacting a bit over this.

He was currently sitting on his phone, waiting for Elizabeta to respond to his slightly angry messages over not even giving him a hint of what to expect. Poor Ludwig was left on read.

Feliciano was excited, he truly was, but for some reason he was scared. Ludwig Beilschmidt was extremely close to being his new favorite author and then he messages him and Feliciano is freaking out because he does not know what in the world is he supposed to do. Responding is a good way to start, but what should he say in order to not sound like a weirdo? Now he knew how fanfiction readers felt like commenting on their favorite stories.

Maybe he should rule out 'have my babies' as a possible answer...

While he was having his meltdown, he failed to notice that it was suddenly night and Elizabeta responded.

Lizzie: Well... Lizzie: In my defense I did tell him not to say that Lizzie: Keep his identity hidden

Okay, Feliciano was furious now.

♡~Feli~♡: You could ve at least warned me ♡~Feli~♡: Like idk hes not what he seems feli ♡~Feli~♡: Or something like that

Lizzie: Sorry *sad face emoji* Lizzie: Lud has no experience talking to people online Lizzie: So I didn't want to burden him with being too careful about being a writer Lizzie: But he really wanted to talk to you so please don't feel weird around him Lizzie: Pretty please Feli ♡

And now he felt bad. He was acting like an asshole to his friend who was just trying to help her own friend. And Ludwig was still waiting for a response.

Artisloveandlife: Hi Ludwig! Artisloveandlife: Tbh when Lizzie said she had someone who wants to talk to me I was kinda expecting a fellow fan Artisloveandlife: Talking to the author themself is a big deal so I'm sorry if I'm awkward.

Feliciano didn't even get a chance to rest his phone.

Lutzie71: You are not awkward. Lutzie71: But I have a question. Lutzie71: Who is Lizzie?

Artisloveandlife: Elizabeta. Artisloveandlife: Does she go by a different name now?

Lutzie71: I am sorry. Lutzie71: I am just used to calling her Betty.

Artisloveandlife: Don't apologize *big smile emoji* Artisloveandlife: She used to go by a lot of nicknames in middle school so... Artisloveandlife: Did you know that her real name isn't even Elizabeta? Artisloveandlife: It's something like Erzebet??

Lutzie71: Erszebet. Lutzie71: I asked her.

Artisloveandlife: Elegant, are we? *laughing and crying emoji* Artisloveandlife: But you call her Betty like Otto and Alice. That's so cute!

Lutzie71: Yeah... Lutzie71: The character Elizabeta was made after her. Lutzie71: She was pestering me too much about it.

Well, that's kind of cute.

Artisloveandlife: That sounds like Lizzie. Artisloveandlife: But why did you want to talk to me? Artisloveandlife: I don't think authors normally do that.

Lutzie71: Well, you painted that beautiful piece of art and I have been looking for someone to do a cover for it and the second book. Lutzie71: So I thought I might ask.

Feliciano almost flipped another table at that. There is going to be another book?! For real?! He was only stopped from flipping things by Lovino calling him angrily. Right as he was texting Ludwig at that.

Lutzie71: I apologize for asking such a private question, but you never told me your name?

Well, of course Feliciano would forget something like that.

Artisloveandlife: Feliciano. Artisloveandlife: Sorry, I forgot. Artisloveandlife: Call me Feli.

Feliciano made his way downstairs as quick as he possibly could, just to see what his brother wanted from him now. He noticed two brown heads instead of one.

"Hey Toni!" Feliciano said.

Both Lovino and Antonio turned to face Feliciano. Lovino's face was as if he just ate a whole lemon and Antonio looked slightly worried. "We need to talk." Lovino said simply.

Feliciano nodded, feeling his phone vibrate, but he couldn't respond right now. That would piss Lovino off. "What is it?" He asked.

Lovino sat on the couch, motioning for Antonio and Feliciano to sit as well. Feliciano chose to sit on the stairs, a gut feeling telling him something wasn't right. He wondered if Antonio and Lovino had a fight, but when Antonio sat down next to Lovino, wrapping him up like a blanket, he relaxed.

"You know how Nonno is coming home tomorrow?" Lovino asked, not looking at Feliciano.

"Yeah." Feliciano answered. "Will you two tell him?"

"That's why we're talking to you." Antonio responded, interrupting Lovino as he was about to open his mouth and respond. "Feli, I don't know if you know this, but coming out is a big thing. And it only becomes harder when your heart is already devoted to someone." He squeezed Lovino closer to himself. "If something goes wrong, it's not just you who gets hurt. They get hurt as well. And it takes a good amount of time to properly come out to someone, so-"

"Keep your mouth shut, Feli." Lovino interrupted.

Feliciano nodded, he wasn't planning on saying anything anyway, but now he was more scared than ever of what his brother would do if he even let a tiny bit of it slip. "Can I go back to my room now?" He asked.

"Do the dishes first." Lovino said with a smirk.

Feliciano groaned. "But I did them yesterday!"

"Well, Midget isn't here right now."

"You can do them once in a lifetime!"

"Can't. I have a guest and important business to attend to."

"Making out isn't a business!"

"Neither is art."

Feliciano gave up before it escalated into a fight. He checked Ludwig's message before turning up music to do his work.

Lutzie71: Feliciano has a nice tone to it. It means 'happy one', doesn't it?

It was nice to see that Feliciano wasn't the only person in the world obsessed with name meanings. At least now, he isn't alone.

Once Feliciano was finished with the dishes, he sneaked up to his room before Lovino could give him another task to accomplish. He really just wanted to text with Ludwig right now, a thought of a great friendship growing in his mind. He sat on his bed and responded.

Artisloveandlife: Yess! Artisloveandlife: You know your onomastics, I like you already!! Artisloveandlife: I look forward to working with you on the book!

Lutzie71: So you accept my offer?

Feliciano giggled. Cute.

Artisloveandlife: Yup! Artisloveandlife: On a condition that I get to read it before anyone else.

Lutzie71: You would have to fight my brother for that.

Artisloveandlife: Ahh I don't like to fight... *sad face emoji* Artisloveandlife: I'll read it after him.

Lutzie71: I just asked him and he said you can read it first if you paint him a portrait of himself. Lutzie71: In a Prussian uniform from 1770s.

Artisloveandlife: Deal! Artisloveandlife: I have no idea what he looks like but I'll do my best!

Lutzie71: He looks like an idiot. Lutzie71: And he's passed out on the floor now.

Artisloveandlife: Is he alright?

Lutzie71: Yes, he just had too much alcohol. Lutzie71: He looks rather comfortable next to our dogs.

Feliciano gasped.

Artisloveandlife: You have dogs?!?!?! Artisloveandlife: Can I see them? Can I please see them? I love dogs!

Lutzie71: I suppose you can. Lutzie71: Let me just figure out how to send you a picture.

Feliciano waited, smiling to himself. It's been a while since he talked to someone online, he almost forgot how exciting it would feel. Moments later, he got his response.

It was a lovely picture of three dogs perfectly nested with a white haired man. They were all ranging in size and colour. Feliciano didn't know much about dog species so he chose not to assume what they were. Them being super cute was what won Feliciano over, as he was on the floor with his legs high in the air, smiling and making strange noises whales would probably understand.

Artisloveandlife: THEY ARE SO CUTE!!!! Artisloveandlife: THEY MUST BE SO FLUFFY!! LUCKY!! Artisloveandlife: Also is that your brother?

Lutzie71: Unfortunately yes. Lutzie71: They aren't really fluffy, but they are rather cuddly.

Artisloveandlife: If this was anime world youre brother would be dead. *dead face emoji* Artisloveandlife: SO CUTEE!!

Lutzie71: Oddly enough, you are not the first person who made that comment. Lutzie71: Also, I apologize but I am not sorry for this. Lutzie71: Your*

Artisloveandlife: Ah, thanks. Artisloveandlife: English isn't my first language so I make mistakes. Artisloveandlife: Whats the difference anyway??

Lutzie71: Your is for showing possession. For example your brother, your sister, your car, ect. You're is a short form for you are like I'm is for I am. Examples are you're driving, you're cooking and so on.

Artisloveandlife: You explained that like a teacher. *smile emoji*

Lutzie71: A lot of people get it wrong. It is a common mistake.

Artisloveandlife: Is that why you type them out every time instead of shortening them?

Lutzie71: You could say that. Lutzie71: In any case I must go, my brother would just continue sleeping on the floor if someone wasn't there to carry him. Lutzie71: Good night, Feliciano.

Artisloveandlife: Lol Artisloveandlife: Good night Ludwig. Artisloveandlife: Remind me to send you a picture of my lovely babies *yellow heart emoji*

Lutzie71: I will.

For the first time that night, Feliciano looked at the time. It was almost 2 a.m. He had been so engrossed into his conversation with Ludwig, he hadn't even thought about how late it was. There was no way he could even fall asleep after all that.

Before he knew it, morning came and he hadn't slept for a second. Instead, he spent the entire night rereading his texts with Ludwig, still in utter disbelief that he's talking to an actual author he admires. Most of his favourite authors have been dead for the past 800 years. Serves you right for liking Dante so much, Feliciano.

He decided to make something to eat and relax nicely. Their grandfather was coming home today so that means there's tons of cleaning to do and no time to rest. He turned on the TV and decided to watch some cartoons.

"Feli." A voice called for him.

"Feli, it's noon. Wake up." Someone was calling.

"Wakey, wakey, little Feli~" A melodic voice was calling, demanding that he wakes up. Strange, he wasn't even-

Feliciano opened his eyes to messy brown hair and a smile. He fell asleep? When? It didn't matter right now anyway, since he was awake.

"Morning, Toni." He smiled.

Antonio messed up Feliciano's hair. "Good afternoon, Feli."

"Those jokes suck. Stop it." Feliciano joked, adjusting himself in a different position on the couch.

"Never!" Antonio sat next to him. "Lovi is asleep too and Meo escaped somewhere again. I guess it's up to us to fix this place for your grandpa."

Feliciano looked around. Sure, there was dust everywhere and probably a good amount of spiderwebs, but overall, the place was actually less of a mess than it could be. "It's fine like this. He'll only stay for a few days so it doesn't matter."

Antonio pinched his cheek. "It does matter. He's your grandpa. Now, are you going to help me clean or are you going to wake Lovi up, soldier?"

Feliciano didn't even give it a thought. "I'll help you clean!"

"Good!" Antonio smiled.

"But first, let me check my phone." Feliciano said, already reaching for it on the table in front of them. He had a notification from Tumblr.

Lutzie71: Good morning, Feliciano.

This was sent at 9 a.m. Feliciano admired Ludwig's skill to wake up so early after talking to each other till so late.

Artisloveandlife: And a late good morning to you too *smile emoji*

Ludwig's response was almost instant.

Lutzie71: You are just like my brother, only you actually woke up.

Feliciano giggled, catching Antonio's attention. "Who is it? Girlfriend? Boyfriend?" He asked, a huge smirk stuck on his face.

Feliciano's ears grew red, his smile shaking. "Just a friend." He answered.

"That's how it always starts." Antonio commented before getting up to make himself some coffee.

Lutzie71: You told me to remind you to show me your babies. Lutzie71: I am very curious to see if they are comparable to my dogs. Which I doubt.

Artisloveandlife: Meanie Artisloveandlife: Let me find them first.

Feliciano got up and searched around the house for his "babies." They were actually two cats, a grey one and a white with brown spots one. Both were Feliciano's. He got them for his 20th birthday after 20 years of begging. He found them asleep in the 1st floor bathroom and, without much thinking, snapped a picture which he sent to Ludwig.

Lutzie71: I must admit their adorableness. Lutzie71: However, they aren't nowhere near my dogs.

Artisloveandlife: Big meanie. Artisloveandlife: Pookie and Gino are worthy of being the greatest cats in the universe Artisloveandlife: Even witches' cats are afraid of their power.

Lutzie71: They still can't compare to my dogs and their wisdom.

Artisloveandlife: Im beginning to suspect that your dogs wrote your book for you

Lutzie71: I will not reveal such secrets.

Artisloveandlife: So they did *smiling and crying face emoji*

Lutzie71: Okay, jokes aside. We know Aster, Berlitz and Blackie are superior, but Lutzie71: I am curious about what you thought on the book. Lutzie71: My brother complained that it was too cringy.

Artisloveandlife: We never agreed to that tho Artisloveandlife: It was a bit cringy at some parts like those romance bits Artisloveandlife: Even tho I fangirled like there was no tomorrow because they were meant to be with each other Artisloveandlife: But overall it was a really good book Artisloveandlife: You were a bit immature in that field so it made me laugh a lot

Lutzie71: I guess it helped in getting my point across.

Artisloveandlife: Point?

Lutzie71: The innocent suffer in wars. Lutzie71: I wanted to write about the soldiers who have their families and lives which they had to leave behind in order to die for a cause irrelevant to them. Lutzie71: Because what we remember from them is always just a number. Not their lives or their deeds, just whether or not they make the number of deaths increase. Lutzie71: I wanted to point out that they are so much more than than. More than a number.

Artisloveandlife: That Artisloveandlife: That is really meaningful Artisloveandlife: But why did you choose The Thirty Years War? Artisloveandlife: Wouldnt it be easier to just use World War 1 or 2??

Lutzie71: Because, unlike them, The 30 Years War was a long time ago and people have mostly forgotten about it. Lutzie71: That's not the case for the World Wars. Lutzie71: They are still far too fresh in the world's memories. Lutzie71: There's also the fact that I am German which is why I felt wrong writing about the wars my country mostly started. The 30 Years War was a result of an unstable situation in Europe. Lutzie71: You could say that I was afraid of writing about the World Wars.

Artisloveandlife: This converstation took a turn for something really depressive

Lutzie71: Conversation*

Artisloveandlife: Sorry Artisloveandlife: My fingers slipped *smile emoji*

"Feli! Are you helping me or not?" Antonio called for Feliciano, startling him a bit. He was still in the bathroom, on the floor and petting his two kitties as he read Ludwig's messages.

Artisloveandlife: Im gonna have to go now Artisloveandlife: My grandpa is coming home after a long trip and we have to clean the whole house Artisloveandlife: Which is a lot Artisloveandlife: Ttyl Ludwig *winky face emoji*

Lutzie71: I have no idea what that means. Lutzie71: Good bye, Feliciano.

Feliciano raced to meet with Antonio for a spring clean up, not even noticing new messages from Ludwig. He was reluctant to clean the house now, eager to return to texting his friend, but he had to put some of his excitement into a good use. His Nonno was coming home and for the first time in a while, Feliciano had made a new friend. One that he intended to keep.

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pocket-mouse7 · 5 years ago

Text

Nobody asked me to do this but I have too much time on my hands so here goes.

Obviously now or never has a lot of foreshadowing so I decided to go through each line/section and do what I think it's trying to say. Obviously since I'm not doing English anymore I'm having analysis withdrawals. Let me know if you want me to do other songs but they won't be the same lmao x

Also I'm really sorry I don't know how to do things under the cut

Take off - could be referring to the fact that, after this gig, the band would have "taken off" in the music industry and got very popular

Last stop - This is, quite literally, their last stop, you know, because they die

Countdown till we blast open the top - The countdown is often used to signify death, and blasting open the top, idk either the ambulance, or blasting into 2020 with their music

Face first - There's the obvious going in face first, but could also be, you know, eating?

Full charge - I think this is just setting up Luke's character

Electric hammer to the heart - I think this one's pretty obvious, reggie setting up his amp in the rain. Jk jk it's caleb

Clocks move forward

But we don't get older, no - I think this one's pretty obvious too, times moving on without them, they're not getting older because they're ghosts

Kept on climbing - they'll keep climbing to fame even when they're dead

Till our stars collided - This is more ambiguous, I think that its about 2 "stars", great musicians, meeting in an unlikely way, e.g sunset Curve meeting Julie

And all the times we fell behind

Were just the keys to paradise - I don't really know for this but it feels important, any ideas? Perhaps it's that they feel like they've fallen behind by dying but it's "paradise" playing with Julie

Don't look down

'Cause we're still rising

Up right now - Heaven and Hell maybe?

And even if we

Hit the ground - I think this is a little nod to them falling metaphorically (and physically) into Julie's life

We'll still fly - cool teleport action skills? (that tingle... In weird places)

Keep dreaming like we'll live forever - ironic haha

But live it like it's now or never - pretty self explanatory, it is now or never, they're about to die

Hear the noise

In my head - How do I explain this..... Its like, how Julie thinks they're in her head? Do you feel me?

It's calling out like a voice I can't forget - I have no clue here, any ideas?

One life - this could be taken like... V v sad because they didn't get to really live their life. But I think it's more like, they got a second chance at life with julie

No regrets - this one stings a bit

Catch up, got no time to catch my breath - this one too

Clocks move faster - Maybe the room where it felt like an hour but was 25 years, or calebs "time warp" ghost club

'Cause it's all we're after now - unfinished business?

Won't stop climbing

'Cause this is our time, yeah - I think this is like, bittersweet. It's not their time now, but it will be in 25 years

When all the days felt black and white

Those were the best shades of my life - black and white, life and death. Romance with Julie and friendship, this really is the best time of his life death

Don't look down

'Cause we're still rising

Up right now

And even if we

Hit the ground

We'll still fly

Keep dreaming like we'll live forever

But live it like it's now or never - I've don't this one already you don't want to hear it again

We ain't searching for tomorrow (tomorrow) - ooh that stings, you won't make it to tomorrow

'Cause we got all we need today (today) - Maybe ironic?

Living on a feeling that's been running through our veins - idk but maybe this is a nod to the whole ghost thing. Ideas?

We're the revolution that's been singing in the rain - this one feels important.... Reggie fixing his amp in the rain? Ideas?

Don't look down

'Cause we're still rising

Up right now

And even if we

Hit the ground

We'll still fly

Keep dreaming like we'll live forever

But live it like it's now or never

It's now or never

Thanks for reading if you made it this far, it means a lot. If you want me to do other songs, let me know. If you want me to shut the hell up and do my homework, let me know that too lmao

#Jatp #julie and the himbos #julie and the phantoms #Alex jatp #Luke Patterson #Reggie jatp #Bobby jatp #Now or never #Lyrics analysis

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caandlelit · 6 years ago

Note

Tbh I always loved you dabihawks AUs and was wondering if you could do more some time? (*Whisper chanting* Pjo au pjo au pjo au)

..how did u know i liked pjo ??? thats supposed to be a secret

but alright jshsj ok yeah like i havnt been thinking about it for ages

edit: i lost this so so so many fuckin times,,, but here goes. im so sorry its this late anon ive had a fucking shitty few months rip i hope to god you see this

dabi would be a legacy of apollo and vulcan, the roman version of hephaestus, on one side, and khione on the other

and endeavor, his dad, who thinks hes so great cause hes a legacy of apollo and vulcun, married rei, daughter of khione,,so that his legacies have fire and ice

dabi has this weird fuckin blue fire

apollo kids dont have fire but because of his vulcan he has fire, and its even stronger bc of apollo, therefore blue

he and fuyumi are twins

she has ice

genes fucked up and gave him fire despite their bodies being built for wach others quirks

and he can withstand cold temperatures

and constantly wishes he had ice instead so he wouldnt keep destroying his body trying to adjust to his powers especially cause his father made him use them at an early age

shouto is ice and fire, and natsuo is the healer, hes strong, plus a few seer abilities

this also fits in with my hc that natsu is a docter!! so like

thanks vulcan

but mostly apollo, for being so over achieving. your efforts are appreciated

nothing compared to hermes tho i dare u to google what hes the god of

hawks is a fuckinsksjlsksk

a fuckin

ur not ready

half harpy half hermes kid

everyone asks 'duuude why did ur dad fuck a harpy what was he oN'

'uhh, obviously for the wings it'd eventually give me- i dont fUCKIN know man, can yall stop asking'

so hawks has red wings and likes chicken nuggets and considers his dad a huge asshole

'met the guy once, and once was enough'

he was born out of a drunken one night stand (fuck you hermes) and his mom, a harpy who doesnt really care, leaves him soon after she gets bored

hes soon found and picked up by rumi and ruyuuku, half blood duo extraordinare and they eventually find their way to camp

and hes way better at camp, grows up from a hobo chicken to a ray of sunshine

he learns to be good with people and he brushes off any bullying with jokes about himself and gains respect for being such a chill guy

so social skills and diplomacy!!

plus hes good at memorizing things, thanks to the harpy genes

also pretty loud, thanks to the harpy genes

plus, he has wINGS

so,,, wings + hermes kid + all these characteristics = a messenger for the two camps basically sent by the gods

hes the middleman between the two camps as soon as hes old enough to get taxis and can fly well enough travel across longer distances

they meet cause hawks had to go deliver some message to the praetor of the roman camp

and hes stopped by the river where percy met frank and hazel in the books

idk the name its been a while fuck off

by a demigod guard on duty

hes about to fly across

when someone yells

"hey mESSENGER PIDGEON! OVER HERE!"

what the fuck

hawks looks around, flapping his wings in confusion

"yEAH YOU, YA SEE ANYONE ELSE WITH WINGS HERE? DUMBASS"

okay, woW, now hawks is confused out of his mind and pink with annoyance, what the fuck

"dOWN HERE BIRDBRAIN, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING IN THE FUCKIN' SKY FOR"

oh oops right why would there be someone in the air

hawks looks down sheepishly

theres a roman guard, looking to be about his age, 16 or so, completely ignoring his job and apparently tossing pebbles at the river a few feet away, from the piles hawks can vaguely see scattered around him

he sees him cup his hands around his mouth and shout

"HURRY THE FUCK UP"

okay okay calm your tits

hawks flies down to the guy and lands and hes v confused ok

but the guard guy is way more interesting up close than he was from the sky

hes not wearing his helmet, taller than hawks, his hair a messy jet black, his eyes bright blue and his smile lazy but really cute

and sue him or whatever okay but,,

hawks is a sucker for blue eyes

and then hes being teased

"what were you lookin around for?"

hawks' feathers puff up in indignation and he kicks him in the shin

'shut up asshole, i came down didnt i. what do u want'

the guy laughs

"i just wanted to see your wings, your feathers are fuckin dope"

hawks is kind of endeared at this point, is this guy for real

he offers hawks a pebble and goes

"u wanna try?"

hawks stares

then he shrugs internally, cause why the fuck not, hes here all week why not make a friend while hes at it

he takes the pebble and their fingers brush and its all so cliche

hawks tosses the pebble and then hes being laughed at and taught how to throw pebbles

and they hang out getting to know each other for a solid few hours until someone comes to see why the fuck the messenger guy isnt here yet

aka shigaraki

who drags himself down to the river to see dabi fucking around with the pidgeon guy and he sighs

drags a waving, beaming hawks to the camp while dabi grins wide and waves back

then theyre talking all the time and hawks is making up excuses to fly over at least once a month and dabi is using all the drachma endeavor has to call hawks,

"its for a good cause"

and endeavor hates it because hes a greek hating dick

he thinks the camps shouldnt interact

when dabi discovers this hes fuckin delighted

"fuckin lit, a new way to piss him off!!"

*dabi voice* ive been thinking about that exchange program, maybe i should make the switch!

*constipated endeavor noises*

endeavor is old enough to be respected by a small few, and old enough for most people to wonder why the fuck he isnt dead yet

they eventually go on their first quest together

alone

no one wants to go with them because no one is willing to thirdwheel

shigarakis actual answer was "are you kidding me id rather die"

#dabihawks #dabi #hawks #hotwings #hawks bnha #hawks mha #shigaraki tomura #hc #hcs #dabi bnha #dabi is touya #touya #dabi is a todoroki #touya todoroki #todofam #i highly reccomend pjo to anyone who hasnt read it its fuckin great

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student-film-lying-piece-of-shit · 6 years ago

Note

Splentoby plas

fine. ok. ill do this. PLEASE keep in mind in these headcanons toby isn't a minor and that we can assume he's 19+ (he doesn't have a set set canon age? he supposingly dies before age 20 idk man it's vague please don't drag me into discourse i headcanon him as an adult in non au settings)

splendor hcs / splendortoby. yall asked for it. if i get hung im blaming u guys

also these r months old they're from amino. let's go

he can move his face and mouth! it's not forever stuck like (:

- he listens to nightcore unironically look me in the eyes and tell me he doesn't

- he is pansexual!! n cis

- he lowkey feels isolated and lonely from the others, trying his best to be a help but nobody rlly appericates it so he's :(

- he has magical capabilities! he can summon little things around him (think maybe the wadern from superjail?) like ie he will move his hands and a rainbow comes out of his hand

- he fucking LOVES minecraft and for the first 4 times he played he tried to like tame a creeper and BEN was just "you can Not Do That Splendor"

"he's my friend!!!!!!"

"you can tame how many animals and you try to tame an enemey splendor he will blow you up"

"): my friend..."

- he tends to get a lot of romantic crushes on humans but is terrorfied of pursuing them because he's!!! an ugly monster n their :3 to him

- he has an ability to make himself invisible to adults and only visible to kids/those who can 'believe' that he uses in public because slenders always like. "DON'T SHOW UR IDENTITY TO THE H U M A N S!!!!!!!"

- he likes 80's music a fucking lot. like. a LOT.

- he's friends w/ sally (duh), BEN (the one who got him into Minecraft), Jane, EJ and Toby!!!!

- he had feelings for jane until she was just "sorry, i like girls" and he was

"!!!! I do too!!!!! You funky lil lesbian keep it up!!!!!!!!"

- HE DOES HAVE A HUMAN FORM !!! he's the only slender who has a soild human form! However it drains him a lot to use it so he doesn't use it a lot,,,,

- he cries gold!!!! Liquid, his blood is like? pastel blue? his body liquids r pastel gore basically

- he, yes, is a brony. his favorite is pinkie pie

- he doesn't have a secret evil form shut the fuck up and let me have my son!!!!! i refuse!!!! no!!!!!!!!!!! he does NOT!!!!!!!!

- he has had a weird crush on toby for a while and he's never mentioned anything because "that is,, someone who works for my brother,,,,,,,that is,,,,, his proxy,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"

- his human name is Romeo!!!!!!!!

- he's a huge mommas boy :3 he calls her everynight to tell her he loves her and she's just "okay cool" and he's "!!!!!!!SLEEP WELL"

- he's fucking shitfaced scared of zalgo lmao

okay im gonna indulge in this weird crack ship for three seconds here wait

- toby always rides on his back!!!!!!

- splendor always leaves him candy and stuff in his room anonymously or notes and toby's just "huh who did this" but than one time he saw splendor sign something and he was

"it's YOU??????????"

- toby: this is my giant monster boyf-

splendor, crying: am i a monster

toby: GOD NO I LOVE YOU

- slender finding out is just "literally what the fuck idc anymore do what by any means you guys want ive seen it all now"

- toby always also rides on his tendrils!!! he uses them as swings fuck you this is my headcanon list I'll do what i want

- they go to the fair n stuff when it's town n splendor goes into his human form and they have a good Time!!!!!!

- splendor gets toby really cute binders w/ designs n stuff!!!!! To make him feel a lot better abt himself and toby loves it half to death

- toby, crying: i don't know im sorry i never told you i was trans. please don't think of me different.

splendor, a creature that's been living for centuries, 11 feet tall w/ vague human traits: i would NEVER

- tobys the first human splendor has ever been w/!!! and he rlly rlly cares abt toby and feels super comfy w/ him

- splendor is v insecure abt being u know an eldrich creature so toby always compliments his 'monster' traits and splendor goes "!!!! O W O!!!!"

- toby uses splendor's tendril bells to stim sometimes and splendor happily let's him

- romeos human form has a ton of fucking freckles and when he goes into his human form toby goes fucking BONKERS he LOVES IT

- splendor in his human form: a-aha toby are you ready to go out,,,,,

toby, paniking: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO SPLENDOR

splendor: AAAAAAAAAA

- toby slips up and calls splendor Romeo in front of slender and slenders like

"who...who are you referring to?"

"SPLENDOR I MEAN YOUR BROTHER SIR"

"how the fuck do you know his human name"

"uhm"

- jeff: how do you feel about your emplyoee fucking your brother lmao

slender: please

slender: leave my office. please. im begging you jeffery just fucking go

(THEY DON'T ACTUALLY FUCK PLEASE)

- this situation makes slender say fuck a lot lmao

- toby likes sitting on splendor a lot n its just he's on his ds yelling at his NintendoDog to sit down as splendor reads nariana and toby's just background noise screeching "MR. SNIFFLES SIT!!!!"

#ghost stories #creepypasta #happypasta #splendorman #slender brothers #ticci toby #toby rogers #asks #anon #if i get killed I will kill you back #long post

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almaasi · 6 years ago

Text

reaction post typed while watching JIBcon videos (part 3 of ?)

Cockles panel

in which Jensen commits unicorn murder and I wanna call the unicorn cops

part 1 // part 2

currently watching this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dd8O2-_Akk0&ab_channel=thiniassk

04:51pm

i have like.... 4 minutes left of this panel

LET’S GO

(edit: nope it was 4 minutes of that video, then another 15 minute video)

04:53

oh yeah, jensen’s lowkey flipping off the crowd about canon destiel

04:54

oh!! i see what that anon meant about jensen sitting in his chair weird. whenever he puts his hand in his pocket he’s having a dick issue

a dickssue, if you will

(also he continues to flip off the crowd, he’s so angry rn)

04:56

misha: “dean doesn’t like it when cas [stands/stares?] in his doorway and watches him sleep”

jensen doing some mAJOR crotch-protection

is his fighting a boner or is he made deeply vulnerable by this question and misha’s v gay answer? maybe both

jared: “because he’s naked”

BUT WHO IS NAKED. CAS OR DEAN??

omg

05:02pm

video ended!! last one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aJYiR715n0&ab_channel=thiniassk

05:04

jensen lifts one arm off his crotch and then immediately puts the other one across

hot damn there’s definitely a situation there, physical or emotional, i can’t tell

wow

but that said, misha has had his arms crossed this ENTIRE panel. i don’t think either of them fully relaxed this time around. they’re both tense, they’re both mildly uncomfortable. jensen way more than misha. that’s a low mood if i ever saw one

05:08

jensen confirms that the casting is done by the director

so now we know who to blame when episodes kill a lot of black people

05:09

his arm left his crotch for the first time in several minutes, when he started talking about directing

which confirms that the discomfort was emotional, not physical - or at least he maybe dealt with the physical boner (? - going off info an anon sent me) and was left with an emotional echo, and only relaxed when passionate thoughts on directing distracted him

05:13

um okay

weird

jensen cheered up REAL fast.

05:14

okay no

i was wrong

he’s still fucking PISSED AS HELL

honestly i kind of hate that part of his personality. passive aggressive destruction of things that bring other people joy as a vaguely-directed form of punishment

see the problem i have... with jared, and come to think of it, jensen too, is that destructive hurt-somebody streak. yeah sure it’s just a plastic unicorn. but. it’s a symbol and jensen knows it. break the thing and you break the thing it symbolises. it’s a soft pure innocent thing full of gay love and he wants it dead.

i maybe roll back my take on the destiel vs jensen thing last post. either that or i stand by it, and chalk this up to self-defence of his heterostraight manliness, because jensen felt put on the spot by misha and jared’s gay destiel talk. idk yet

but anyone who breaks other people’s things when they’re angry has a problem

god he’s so complicated

and the way he does this when he’s angry legitimately makes me upset. i can’t believe he has young kids and still does this kind of thing without empathy

i don’t know whether i’m just growing up or whether these destructive “jokes/pranks” are getting old. but i am really, really over it

05:30

and just thinking about this more, i feel like it would be easy to accuse me of saying “well i bet you think MISHA can do no wrong”

but like

he doesn’t

he doesn’t do this. he lifts people up, he comforts them, he fixes things, he makes new things, he turns a frown upside down. if he does do anything destructive it’s with permission and a creative purpose. HE DOESN’T HURT PEOPLE. HE DOESN’T BREAK THINGS.

in short he’s not an entitled jerk.

i know i answered a question yesterday and said i’m invested in who jensen is as a person, and i am, same for jared, but that doesn’t mean i won’t criticise behaviour i can’t agree with. same goes for misha. just happens that misha pisses me off 100% fewer times per year.

yeah, it’s a plastic unicorn. it was a joke. it was funny. it was a silly bit to entertain the audience.

but it wasn’t HIS plastic unicorn to murder. it didn’t entertain the audience, they all made a collective sad noise. he did that unicorn murder because of his own personal reasons.

edit to add: jensen’s plastic unicorn murder is in no way as bad as jared’s ACTUAL PHYSICAL HARM done to misha. but like. it kind of comes from the same place of carelessness.

idk. i just keep going into these con videos expecting to have a good time and then feeling surprised when these actors are not perfect people with the perfect answer, demonstrating perfect model celebrity behaviour to audiences of thousands.

i know they’re exhausted. i know jensen’s tipsy. i know he’s just messing around. i know it’s JUST A PLASTIC UNICORN.

maybe misha’s behaviour under the same circumstances just sets my expectations too high.

just........ be kind. don’t hurt other people. don’t break things that don’t belong to you. how hard is that?

the stupid thing is that if i said that to jensen he’d laugh and say “obviously”, but then doesn’t live up to his own standards, and probably doesn’t think twice about veering away from that under certain circumstances, seen here, case in point

and i say all this while still harbouring love for all three of them

just to be clear

05:48

oh my god there’s not a single person on earth who takes this damn long to watch a 45-minute con panel

i’m 3 minutes into this last video and i gotta stop again for now. sorry this one had yet another negative tone, i swear to you i intended to fill it with rainbows!!! and then jensen went and stabbed the rainbows

>:{

might be back tomorrow for more~ hopefully :D

#Cockles #Jensen Ackles #Misha Collins #Elmie watches things #jibcon #post of postiness #J2M

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lettersfromn0where · 6 years ago

Text

Star Wars marathon semi-live-blog: Ep. V

So. Last night, I decided on a whim to rewatch every single Star Wars movie for the first time since I was seven this Christmas break. As I knew I’d have many things to say about this, I started messaging @marypoppinswasmyfatherbitches about my opinions and observations while watching Episode IV. She apparently thought they were amusing because she told me (several times, ily) that I should live blog, and i was already halfway through last time but wanted to do it, so I guess I’m doing so now. So, to everyone who questions why this entirely unnecessary liveblog of “The Empire Strikes Back” even exists...let’s just call it a Christmas gift for my ever-encouraging tumblr pal. (Is it a liveblog if you wait until the very end to post your collected thoughts? Nah? Maybe?)

Wow, I really was BABY when I saw this last. Literally, I was in second grade. I’m now just months from my high school graduation. What the heck? This is gonna seem so different than it did then...

I like the opening crawl way better sans weird capitalization.

I’m not sure why the tauntaun noises are such a mood, but they are.

17-year-old me is now remembering that 7-year-old me 100% had a baby crush on OG Trilogy Luke and I really don’t know how to feel about that. I guess I thought he was pretty...?

Peak romance: protracted gazes across a room.

“I can arrange that. You could USE a good kiss!” GOSH, THIS BICKERING IS PERFECTION. Again. Peak romance. I definitely was not able to appreciate that as a second grader but now it’s kind of the best.

HOW IS LUKE STILL CONSCIOUS IF HE’S BEEN UPSIDE DOWN FOR HOURS? Also this cave scene is lowkey incredibly tense for a few seconds.

I have no clue why but the way people fall over in these movies always cracks me up.

Snow planet makes me really freaking glad that I live in SoCal.

Chewbacca’s vocalizations sound like my Labrador’s and I’m not sure what to make of that information.

Literally everyone in this movie looks prettier in snow planet outfits.

The way that tauntaun falls over is an accurate representation of my AP chemistry grade after exams.

Is muttering the same phrases over and over a hypothermia symptom? Because I did not know that if it is, and if not, why the heck is Luke doing that?

“This is Rogue Two” *cries in Rogue One*

This tank thing is REALLY unfortunate. Leave the unconscious person half-naked in front of literally everyone, why don’t ya?

I probably missed something but I’m still not sure where the name “your worship” came from.

“Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking, nerf-herder!” Iconic for a reason.

Ewwwww that kiss is noooooo. (If they weren’t siblings though I would be dying @ his reaction)

I wanna know who sent Chewbacca on a stealth mission. I WANNA KNOW.

Seeing Han and Leia in this makes me wish the other series either had a central romance, or that the one they had was well-written, because it’s one of the best parts of the movie. See, guys? If it’s good, romance can actually enhance the plot of a movie that focuses on something else!

It’s driving me crazy that the AT-AT walkers remind me of some sort of animal but I can’t put my finger on which one.

“Someday, you’re going to be wrong, and I just hope I’m there to see it” is a very underrated line.

The fact that Leia’s immediate reaction to Han doing a stupid and dangerous thing is “you don’t have to do this to impress me!” is my favorite thing ever.

“You said you wanted to be around when I made a mistake...this could be it, sweetheart” -> great payoff of that line earlier. I love it when they circle back to old dialogue. Also adorable that Han remembered she’d said that. (Get you a guy who listens!)

I always feel so bad for droids because they have to be on the outside of the ship, exposed to such harsh conditions. I know they can’t feel things, but I still :(.

Ohp, R2 just gotta YEETED by that Loch Ness monster thing.

“Sorry, sweetheart, I haven’t got time for anything else.” -> she walked right into that one. ALSO. SMOOOOTH.

One of the few things I remembered from my initial watch as a little kid is that I was always freaked out by how you never saw anyone eat onscreen in these movies, to the extent that I wondered if people had to eat in space. (Idk, i was SEVEN.) but there’s an eating scene in this! Vindication for baby me!

I...did not remember Yoda having this much crackhead energy. At all.

The way Han looks at Leia when she calls him a scoundrel! I AM DECEASED

C3PO be out here ruining moments.

Yoda goes from crackhead to wise elder in approximately no seconds. We love.

On a scale of 1 to C3PO, how terrible are you in a crisis?

Worm thing is the stuff of nightmares.

96% sure I just saw a live iguana in the background of that scene. HI, FRIEND!

AND THERE WAS A MONITOR LIZARD! Friends! I love all of the reptile friends on Dagobah :)

This cave fight with the sonshadowing must have been absolutely insane to watch when this first came out.

Guys, i realized...Yoda’s combination of pithy sayings, crackhead energy, and anti-establishment ideals make him seem like a typical midcentury hippie. *writes essay about how Yoda is actually a metaphor for the 1960s countercultural movement*

If this ship levitating scene didn’t inspire your kid self try to use the Force to lift your parents’ car, did you even have a childhood?

R2’s little “REEEEEEE!” screams whenever he gets thrown bring me LIFE.

Okay, Han is enjoying stopping Lando from hitting on Leia WAY too much. (They both are...)

The forehead kiss! In the middle of a fight! PEAK ROMANCE(tm)

“One last kiss before i face certain death” is my absolute favorite and hi this is not okay with me :)

“I love you.” “I know.” I DIED. (@my 11th grade English teacher: I used parallel structure!)

I remember thinking the fight choreography with lightsabers in the last movie was really awkward and it’s WAY better here.

Do lightsabers cauterize the wounds they cause? It would make sense, since people who get stabbed or sliced by lightsabers never seem to bleed.

This falling sequence is the weirdest-looking thing in this movie.

The fact that Lando is the only person in this movie who pronounces “Han” with a short A rather than the long A that everyone else uses bugs me to no end.

I had completely forgotten how iconic this movie was. Off to watch the next one 👀👀

In my defense, I did say this was going to make no sense...

Until next time!

#sarah rewatches star wars #by request #epV

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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 years ago

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it’s 7am and for no especial reason im gonna throw out “bat boy” numbers that really go off which is, really all of them, but still, might as well share my wisdom

a) COMFORT AND JOY: obviously!!!!! THE song. it is seriously like, wow. the drama. and its Such a jam. what haven’t i already said to endorse it? cuz i’ll say some more.

b) SHOW YOU A THING OR TWO: automatically gets second spot b/c its second most likely to be in my head. it’s all “i’ll show you a thing or two, second verse with these-two-notes [two-notes]” and i do a little dance for those two-notes. and the lyrics “you’ll soon complete it—but, wait! ((??)) don’t eat it ((oh))” will loop thru my brain like fifteen times. lot of Musical Style variation in this whole show and this ones got like, a highstepping chorus line theme & thats a delight. and lots of incredible lyrics too, like this song’s “but now say howdy to a summa cum laude.” oh wait and i suppose its self explanatory but meredith The Mom and shelley The Daughter are teaching edgar The Bat Boy like, all of general knowledge in a matter of weeks / maybe several months. dr parker The Husband / Vet is tangentially helpful but not really because he sucks. meredith’s patience is v nice. you really have to root for them, except dr parker, because he sucks.

C) CHILDREN, CHILDREN: any ranking order beyond this is basically just me throwing darts w my eyes closed but this is a good third cuz its again that musical variety......this ones like, this 90s-ish movie credits remix echoey chimy synthy thing going on?? but its really a jam too. when the company joins in with the “oooo~shalala” i go BERSERK.....and there’s this suddenly punk rockish break in the middle of it. pretty great. what’s going on is that, as edgar and shelley are fleeing from Society into nature / the woods to reinvent their notions of humanity, the god of that sort of stuff Pan has shown up with an eden-esque panoply of animals to sing this song to set the mood. obviously.

D) WHATCHA WANNA DO: speaking of punk rockish...this is that? it’s a bit head-tiltingly jarring as its just this number in which one of the local teens who found edgar in the cave shows up to the parkers’ house where he’s currently caged and reacts to him in a Thematic Microcosm of what will be others’ reactions, aka to reflect a like, lack of inhibition re sex and mostly violence back at his feral nature and perceived inhumanity. one of the stranger numbers in a weird musical, but still a jam, see: punk rockish

E) A JOYFUL NOISE (REPRISE): end the musical here and everythings fine! just a real short one but a lot of fun because of what i just said. edgar goes to the local revival to beg the townspeople’s and preacher’s acceptance, and they give it to him. yet more musical style variety and a shoutout to this exchange

F) THREE BEDROOM HOUSE: send the musical in a different direction in the middle of this and everything could still be fine. this is a fun boppish number kinda reflecting elements of “show you a thing or two” musically, which i suppose is since its again mostly about meredith having decided that they can make this mess of a situation work. that mess being that, edgar Was accepted by the town but actually her husband killed a local teen and then showed up and blamed it on edgar & implied the mysterious plague upon their cows was edgar’s fault too and edgar’s run off into the woods. then this one is followed by children, children. i could go in order but its chaos rules only!!! the amount of fun energy in this song is frankly great and its like hell yeah meredith!!!!! hell yeah hock this stupid ring!!! kill your husband!! or whatever. js

G) CHRISTIAN CHARITY: god this one is fun idk......also self explanatory imo. local teens have found a cave cryptid, now the sheriff has him, he’s dragged him into the house where the local vet lives and is just p much casually dumping said cryptid on them, which is funny. there’s Musical Themes here repeated w some of the townspeople’s numbers & set up for comfort and joy....what really gets me is the sheriff’s part that starts abt a minute into the number where it’s like, this really neat almost-lilting musical phrase in the key of i don’t know, but its cool. i like it

H) INSIDE YOUR HEART: man, this one’s got this like, p simple musical Theme in there that’s just like, that’s all you need really. sort of like, the classic ballad duet type of song now. but also sort of cutting its own drama, b/c the musicals like, tragicomic and all. like edgar has this whole swelling “oh god this curséd existence you have to leave me” declaration and then immediately you get shelley’s matter of fact “...no.” even tho its a bit Meta Humorous like that, frankly its still a pretty great straightforward and sweet number which im sure a lot of musicàl love songs Wish they could be, which is just made more Smh by the fact that a) it’s about shelley trying to convince edgar its okay to drink her blood and b) because right after it ends meredith shows up to belatedly inform them that they’re half siblings. shits a wild ride.

I) A HOME FOR YOU: careening back to the beginning....this one is also less like, oh shit im gonna dance along, more of a subdued and quiet number, but its a nice solo of meredith’s and p sweet but not in a way like Inside Your Heart where its gonna get immediately wrecked. instead its one of the more grounded songs where she’s just telling the feral bat teen now in her house that maybe he can like, belong somewhere. it also has the Additional Depth not yet revealed in the plot that meredith is aware that edgar is her own child whom she had previously presumed dead. and this song is also Significant in that it’s Reprised when edgar realizes he might actually be fully human (he’s not) and is eager to go to the town’s upcoming revival and win their acceptance; and its Musical Theme is briefly reprised in “apology to a cow” when edgar is at the total opposite end of things, having been turned on by the town thx to the betrayal of his evil stepdad, and then having his and shelley’s attempt to forsake the need for social acceptance in the first place Also Wrecked by their mom telling them she’s their mom, so then he’s just mad at everything and murders a cow b/c he feels the only thing left is to embrace their idea of him as a killer monster, and he Reprises the a home for you theme as he swears to kill both meredith and dr parker, which he doesn’t, although they do Die around him. whoops. wanna @ will roland and be like “hey can you sing this one single line from Apology For A Cow?? cuz its rly cool and honestly a lot of these songs make me sure that wroland’s version of this material what with his voice and acting and how dramatically that production seemed to treat the outlandishness in general all means i’d fucking go ballistic and i wanna hear ‘this face will be the last thing that you ever see’ cuz that key change and that like, rise and fall at the end,,,,OOF,,,”

J) I IMAGINE YOU’RE UPSET: just round it off by slapping this climactic song right down. it’s a lot. dramatic again but also kinda fun...ish......i mean its the “everythings gone to shit and lets bring everyone together for peak disaster” so how much fun can be had? yet the quick exchange of “i smell [...] her sweat” “oh my god” whole town: “JESUS!!” and the sheriff singing “im sorry your life’s a sham” like hfvlmao thanks dude. but there’s all the clashes of characters’ built-up emotions and edgar is over here covered in blood and demanding to be killed while the town is like YEAH but all meredith’s lines are especially bittersweet and honestly like its a weird absurd story obviously and we’re all here to be ourselves and have fun but the story does make me bummed cuz of thinking about it all as “okay, yeah, but if you treat it earnestly,,,,Sad” like man you hearken back to three bedroom house and how meredith is determined to see it all be okay and really like just wants to live with her kids somewhere safe and NOT with her crap husband who’s been ruining everything the whole time for once. and then she’s here caught between the final confrontation of the Dramatic Foils that are edgar and dr parker and in general everything is a bit too late. ugh. lot of Dramatic Exchanges here and musical theme reprises!! that’s the good shit. and then the song ends on dr parker’s sort of ominous yet resigned-ish “are you hungry edgar” (shoutout to comfort and joy!!) after which he cuts his own throat, and, just like in comfort and joy, (and sort of like just prior to comfort and joy, when edgar reflexively defended meredith from dr parkers Violent Behavior) when he presents edgar w the fresh blood edgar automatically Attacks, wherein dr parker takes the chance to stab him, and inadvertently stabs meredith when she tries to shield edgar, and they all three die w edgar bleeding-outly refuting his humanity to shelley, and then there’s the final number where everyone’s like wow that was some shit. but ACTUALLY there is also this one specific detail i’d be desperate to see from the nyu steinhardt version, which is that after they all die and there’s that Breathless Moment, the Man From The Institute who the sheriff had called earlier to deal with edgar Rushes In and sort of beholds the whole town gathered staring at these three bodies and maybe a cow’s head off to the side, and one of the townspeople just goes “...you’re late.” and i am so certain that this line is HghhfGH-wheeze-laugh worthy; but the performance i saw they did NOT do the timing right!!! they said it like right off whereas what you need to do is hold the pause at least three full seconds!! and then go: You’re Late. i’m adamant about this. so much of Landing The Delivery is timing!! anyways. god. press f. anyways. it’s now 9 am. thanks and good morning. basically saying that the whole soundtrack is basically pretty great and really will roland has doomed me to actually be invested in this weird story, b/c its the ol magical realism comedic-framed wild obviously-that-would-never-happen plot, but, still, you’ve got this teen trying his best and it COULD all be fine actually but it all goes to shit b/c nobody killed dr parker in time really. well i’d just like to conclude by saying it’s raining and that’s great b/c i love when it’s raining

#long post ///#but a great and essential post //:/#february 2011 nyu steinhardt players club bat boy production starring will roland #like i WISH bc i wish we had that productions versions of all these songs!!! and the whole thing rly!!!! help me william spinnato!!!!

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misas-biggest-fan · 6 years ago

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matsuda, matt, and beyond?

thank you so mcuh!! <333

Matsuda: Are you an idealistic person?

I am a;osdjklkd LOL i try to default to thinking everyone’s good and everything will turn out well. It’s a good thing, but sometimes it’s meant that i ignore bad things and just wait for them to go away LOL

Matt: Who is someone you can always rely on?

<33333 i have so many beautiful friends <33 some of my closest friends are @theamazingpeterparkerr @thatoneweirddude21 @spiderwebb93 @antifacowboy @simplynothuman @kaelvas and i love you guys!! and i’ve made so many awesome friends here, too!! i’m very lucky to be surrounded by good kind people

Beyond: What’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to you?

>:DDDDDDD OK GHOST STORY TIME!!!

hmmmmm which ghost story to tell......... >:))))) ps if you get spooked easy you might not like this you can skip it !!! <3 ill put it under a cut bc its long

ok well ill tell this one. so while I was living in East LA, (I was serving as a missionary and like doing service and stuff), and me and my friend lived in sort of one of the more dangerous areas of Montebello. the apartment we had at the time was TINY like terrifyingly small. it was also like...... always filthy. which was weird bc me and my friend cleaned it constantly. we’d spend hours cleaning and then we’d leave and come back and it’d all be grimy again....... there was also a weird feeling inside the house like we didn’t want to be there. we’d spend a lot of our evenings sitting on the curb under the streetlight outside our house because being inside made us anxious.

id also heard stories bc id had a friend in this exact same apartment a few months earlier and she’d said that one night, it was broken into while she was there and that they made loud noises and scared the person away and since then they put a chair in front of the door every night so we did thtat too

so weird stuff happened to me and my friend the entire time we were there. our bikes would break even after we fixed them multiple times. we got bed bugs (ew) i got kidney stones (story for another day but an equally horrifying one). so weird stuff. also one night, some dude was outside our house screaming about how he was gonna kill someone and then cops came and like literally dragged him away. very scary.

so anyway this all peaked when my friend woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom one night. we had bunk beds bc our house was too small for two beds (i know.) and she was on the top and right in front of our beds was this like, pushed into the wall kind of closet but it was also raised off the ground a little. and she wakes up and looks in front of her into the closet and sees someone sitting in it like this

(so i guess sort of L-style LOL ;alkdjf;sfldkj ok but worse) and anyway, it’s sitting at such a height inside the closet that it’s looking right into my bed.

so my sweet dumb friend gets up and goes to the bathroom anyway bc she’s a. disoriented b. thinks its me???? bc im the only other person that could be in the house??? idk why she thought this LOL

anyway but in the bathroom she wakes up enough to be like ‘hmm they would not be sitting ominously in the closet at 3am it’s probably not them’ and runs back out and the person is gone.

so she sits awake in her bed all night and cries until i wake up and then she cries more and tells me everything.

a week later, the president of our mission came to see our house because so many church members had complained that it was cursed and dangerous and he took one look at it and was like ‘YOURE MOVING’

so was it a person who broke in and my friend scared him away?!?!? or was it a demon???? she said it was a v shadowy figure without a face but it was also dark...... my bet is kind of on demon bECAUSE IT DOESNT STOP THERE

because we move right!!!!!! to alhambra!!! SO safe1!! also gorgeous and cute. we get this great house. awesome place. and anyway the house is set up at the end of a tiny little like, sidewalk and another house is almost directly in front of ours so ours faces his and his faces like, to the side. the dude in this house was super old and senile and we’d always say hello to him bc in alhambra, everyone spoke chinese or taiwanese but not spanish or english, but this guy spoke spanish and he was like the only one so we’d always say hello and he’d always be super confused. BUT the one SINGLE TIME he made sense EVER was like a week after we moved and this dude was always standing outside watering his roses and we came home and he was like HEY i have a terrible story for you and we were like WHAT and he was like ‘so i was standing here today watering my flowers and i looked up and saw my shadow on the side of your house on your porch by your door’ and we were lke ‘ok uh huh ok go on’ and he was like ‘ and then. i moved. and the shadow didn’t move. so i ran inside and ive been waiting for you to get home ever since im scared there Something in your house’

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW RIGHT.

so the story doesnt really like Stop There but that’s the last experience i had in LA w demons !!!!!!

#me living in LA with demons #side-ho-ryuuzaki

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spamzineglasgow · 6 years ago

Text

(REVIEW) Not your minute turns from the blueprint: Body Work, by Tom Betteridge (SAD Press, 2018)

Denise Bonetti <[email protected]> Mon, 10 Dec 2018, 20:21 to maria.spamzine Hey Maria, Hope life’s good :) I’m just writing to see you if you’ve read Tom B’s new Body Work? There’s a paper I should be writing, but have been reading and rereading that pamphlet instead, or more like dipping in and out really, cause it's so beautifully layered and expanding that you can only take so much at a time. Don’t you think Tom’s poetry has this strange earworm quality to it? (I think he’d like the annelid comparison.) The way he choreographs words (I don’t want to use the word 'images’) makes its way into my brain and never wants to leave. He draws these, like, lateral paths of meaning so clearly that the weeds never grow back.Tom Raworth has this bit in 'Writers / Riders / Rioters' that goes:

the present is surrounded with the ringing of ings which words have moss on the northside

like, words naturally arrange themselves into a system of semantic habit, which is so stable and stale that makes them grow moss, but also so rich and vibrant when it's exploited productively. Obviously this is Raworth so it probably also means the opposite of this and so much more, but it kinda makes me want to say that the present (poem) makes the ringing of ings deviate so well that the moss can never grow again. I’d say that his poems behave like sophisticated lines in the sand, but they're more like brutal carvings on a rock. He had a couple poems in Blackbox Manifold ages ago (I think) and there was this one bit

‘nerve truffled plume lead pickled breast’

I think about all the time (especially when I cook). It’s so smooth. Why can I not stop thinking about it. It’s cause it’s so shameless, it wants it all - the feather-light and the corpse-heavy, never perturbed, so lucid. It plays at tasting good, but it tastes of an unrealistically blank texture. A-ha! Anyway the new pamphlet is gr8, if you haven’t read it yet look at the first poem pls - ‘OCCAM OCEAN’ (sounds like an anagram or palindrome)

It all dwells in systematic abstraction but flies so close to materiality, like a mosquito buzzing around the ear ('Not your minute turns from the blueprint'). I love that ‘plate’ in the first phrase, too: it behaves like an adjective but feels nothing like it. I can't help but think it's the subject of the sentence in a parallel universe that's created by scrambling syntax. It makes me think this is the way language should always work, and that we're the fkn idiots living in the parallel universe in which syntax is scrambled in ordered to be as boring as possible. Idk - it's late and I need to go back to writing boring essay syntax 'bound to decision and the pursuit of what follows'. Lemme know ur thoughts you smart queen D xxx

Maria Sledmere <[email protected]> Wed, 12 Dec 2018, 17:30 to denise.spamzine

Dearest Denise,

Life is good thanks. I'm sitting in the attic of the law building and I can hear the construction work going on and every time I leave I look out at the skyline and slivers of infrastructural alteration. I was walking along the road earlier because the pavement was closed off for construction and cba crossing and the high-vis guy was like, 'you'll not see Christmas walking on the road like that', but I guess I misheard him saying something else because I was really engrossed in this old Slowdive album, so I just smiled sweetly. Anyway, that got me thinking back to the question of erasure, which I think is pretty vital to Body Work.Have been carrying this pamphlet in my bag for so long that the cover has started to peel and revealing speckles of white underneath, like the text itself is ready to reveal itself, and yes I was thinking Barthes and strip-tease and paratextual enticement.

So I had to google the word annelid and now can't get the phrase 'segmented worm' out of my ear/head/throat (gross!). I was thinking about what sort of stains are on the cover of this book, you know, with Hrafnhildur Halldórsdóttir's gouache/pencil work. A stain is one thing stuck to another. Gouache is a funny kinda substance that is half watery gauze, half binding, thick, gummy akin to acrylic. Wet, it will easily smudge. My thumb keeps bleeding where the skin thins, hardens, peels and sloughs off. Tom's poems are kinda mucilaginous in parts (v. insecty, molluscky, sap emission; but also they have a crispness and precision, like cuts of leaf). Things that smudge or fall in flakes. Bodies are maybe whatever we leave behind. I didn't want to mention Hookworms the band because of the singer's sexual abuse scandal BUT it seems significant that a group named after an earworm/type of parasitic larvae would have a song called 'Negative Space'. Like what we eat into in the process of making, existing, remixing. Is language a rash, the result of these parasitic inf(l)ections?

I've been to a couple of reading groups on microbiomes lately, and we were thinking through this idea of how acknowledging your bodily composition in terms of myriad genes and organisms challenges conventional, bounded notions of 'self'. What kinds of affects does this produce? There's a weirdness to that, in Mark Fisher's sense of the weird as 'that which does not belong', that which 'brings to the familiar something which ordinarily lies beyond it, and which cannot be reconciled with the "homely" (even as its negation)'. Fisher suggests that the form most conducive to rendering the weird might be montage. So I was thinking about how montage involves splicings, gaps, juxtapositions, cuts and suddenness. I mean you open the very first poem of Body Work, 'Occam Ocean', and see that its prose-poetic paragraph compacting is split in the middle by the juncture of line break and indent. And ofc the title recalling Occam's razor, the philosophic principle by which in the case of two explanations for an occurrence, it's best to go with the one that requires least speculation. Razor things down and erase speculation? What are we left with, more of the Rreal? Lately I've been hankering for cleaner prose, crisp lines, simpler solutions. The Anthropocene is all of a goddamn tangle. Do I want to follow the myriad threads or just cut cut cut -- who gets to do that?

Did you ever cut a worm in two as a kid?

Okay so I love how 'Occam Ocean' might promise, title-wise, this clean prosaic expanse (like the oxymoron of expanding ocean and occam's, which requires surely a condensing), but what we get is clustering, motion, shiver, containment. The sensual trash magickk of P. Manson! The little syncope of this thing or that, the 'maple neck', vibrating canes, 'chambered breath bowed into the driest soundboard'. These aren't like 'Latour litanies' because they are not like concrete OOO segments of things; idk, they are more about processes and mutable assemblages, emphasis on action and change, sometimes transmission, things inside things. Lynn Margulis and symbiogenesis. How things interact, communicate up close; all of a mutable, prose-poetic swallow. It's actually an incredible intimate pamphlet, don't you think? I feel inside a thing inside a thing inside a thing. I feel a vague ecological sorrow, which gnaws at introspective tendency. The clue to that, you might see, is the cutaway phrase, 'emo Chord' in 'String Growth'.

'Collapse all tears allowing echo retreat'; these lyric lines of 'Glissando' expression, smoothing and shimmering over cuts and junctures: a slide between notes. I used to play trombone and I wish I cld articulate linguistically what kinds of lip vibration occur when you attempt a glissando and feel it slide down your arm muscle but then also through your chest as you try to sustain a sound. It's maybe the way you glide through a scattered poem, with your eye, which is different ofc to the spikier way you'd have to read it aloud, stuck on the vowels. Stuttering. I would love to hear Nat Raha perform these poems, because she does such wonderful things with punctuation and bodily performance, a kind of grammar of breath and cough and click. Reading over the more field erasure poems like 'O--NE' and 'String Growth', it's easy to say something like ~vibrant materialism~ here, but as usual I reach for Steven Connor on noise. Return to the ear, which is 'vulnerable' and 'resembles the skin in being the organ of exposure and reception'. I love what Connor says about Levinas' perspective on 'the awareness of the vacant anonymity of being, of an abstract, encompassing sense that "there is"' being 'an experience of noise'. <3 Acknowledging that breath in the void, that is not nothing but a sparkling something, entails a sense of noise. I am here in the attic of the law building, listening to construction, the type of my fingers on the keys. Someone is murmuring of their distress. What is the difference between living and existing, and being and nothing?

Karen Barad:

'Suppose we had a finely tuned, ultrasensitive instrument that we could use to zoom in on and tune in to the nuances and subtleties of nothingness. But what would it mean to zoom in on nothingness, to look and listen with ever-increasing sensitivity and acuity, to move to finer and finer scales of detail of...?'

When she asks, 'What is the measure of nothingness?' I think surely it is a bodily measure, as everything is: 'bound', as Tom puts it, 'to decision and the pursuit of what follows'. Of course 'what follows' recalls Derrida's 'The Animal That Therefore I Am (More to Follow)', where he's just out the shower and watching his cat watching his phallus, etc. What kinds of dislocation occur. But I mean in all that grandeur of encounter, there's still anthropocentricism. Tom gives you this cinematic CUT, like the instructive 'keen SNAP' that occurs in 'Occam Ocean' to dramatise 'Still, pondsnails whir and blindly source [...] a working leaf shutter'. Soever the language enacts the slurs of the snails up close. We look for the answer to the question of ellipsis, the more to follow [what follows]: inevitable, a question. Sometimes Tom is writing about silence ('then silence confronts an earful underhand') but the music of his language does all the noise, so we just can't have nothingness: there is always a vibrational residue that speaks of something in miniature, atomic, happening.

Ofc with the ear again I am thinking of the ear at the start of Lynch's Blue Velvet and how it's covered in rasping wee insects whose hum is a sort of white noise of trauma that runs through Lumberton's suburban idyllicism.

And so what happens next is I flip open to the following page of Body Work and there is 'String Growth', one of Tom's sprawling erasure poems, which for more than a split-second resembles hundreds of crawling, shimmering ants. I actually think my earliest childhood memory is of looking down at my bare feet on the patio of our old house in Hertfordshire and seeing red ants run over my toes. Then looking up to a greying, English sky. Constantly struck by the cinematic image of that, its splicing out of time: the vividness of insects on human flesh, then milky smog of skyward nothingness. 'String Growth', the accompanying notes to Body Work tell me, is an erasure poem of the Chordoma Foundation's 'Understanding Chordoma' information page.

Erasure can expose sequences of nightmare at work in the lexis and syntax of the text on which it parasitically feeds. I am scared to go on the Chordoma Foundation's website, for fear that just reading or saying the word 'tumour' will activate some kind of malignant growth in my body. And so something of the word chord as a sonorous relation between materials (bodily, textual; textural, cellular). Chordomas are tumours often located in the spine and so I find myself looking for the undulating shape of a spine in the scatter-text of Tom's poem. My eyes cascade down textual spines. Why is it sometimes I otherwise latch upon a 'keystone' word which then extends with adjacent resonance? Musical abnormalities accumulate. Thought swells.

And yea I wonder how this fits into what you say about the poems being 'so smooth'. Like Lynch's waxen silicone ear. Because even though fragmentation makes me think of bits and jaggedness etc, there's this sheen of aestheticism to Tom's work that makes me think of gloopiness, fullness, thereness but also the glaze of potential nothingness. Like in Barad's sense, or miniaturised ecological window shopping - a la Morton's Romantic consumerism? Or do we get into the things themselves? What are your thoughts on the question of recalcitrance? Maybe cos he named a previous pamphlet Pedicure I've just got varnish on my mind. Things an insect might stick to, and be amberized in. Mm.

'[...] Phosphorus crystals may be white, red, burgundyor alight as urine passes'

I keep a stone of citrine under my pillow sometimes. It is supposed to alleviate nightmares and 'manifest abundance'. It is the colour of a rich, dehydrated piss and sometimes when I come back to bed after peeing in the night I think it's some kind of organ lain on my bedsheets, hopped out of my body, and I have to stop my heart and breathe. Is that syncope?

On the <topic of piss>, isn't there a sort of caustic quality, even to the smoothness? Like it is working at making a brittleness of its sheen? And that is what poetry is, cracking the veneer of language or something? Punctuational insects dwelling in splits and fissures? It is nice and cool in Tom's poetry, a place for thinning the self and dwelling. Even though the lexis is so rich and dense, it still seems slender somehow; there's a suppleness. Tease threads of your silk(worm).

Was thinking about what Lisa Robertson says about 'commodiousness' in poetry and what kinds of space there are for the reader here, because I don't think there is much space at all, in the conventional humanly readerly sense. Maybe what I mean by (straw man: Romantic) lyric, which requires something of declarative expansiveness? The density and clutter of specialist language in Body Work makes me feel like a worm, trying to hook my way lusciously into a line: 'espalier's / strains unfinished by the scarp trellis' ('Body Work'), 'rooted to a middle-ground / no more than motion defibrillates'. And I become a parasite on the body of the text, which is a parasite on the body, which is made up of millions of (para)sites. Para ofc meaning side by side, which made me think of Haraway's sympoeisis (making-with) but also, admittedly, Limmy's madeup psychic show, Paraside (lalalol what you were saying about the scrambling parallel universe maybe, is that a lalaLacian Real which necessitates ululation, stammering? Complex remixing musicality of language throughout Body Work as summoning?). Going back to my incidental Slowdive reference earlier, maybe there's a shoegaze thing here, like setting up these 'noise-worlds' which shimmer indiscriminately behind/inside/through the semiotic oscillations of lyric? Is shoegaze a form of sonic gouache? Well it is certainly an ontic form of seduction, where I can't pick out the instruments of expression but I look for them hungrily in the haze. And the idea that transmission between worlds (the living/dead, human/nonhuman) might require a strain of humour (like haha but also meant in the sense of bodily humours?). For instance, shoegaze is decidedly not a humorous genre, but it sort of works on bodily humours, sometimes giving me the bends, or the blurry spaced-out feeling of having one's pleasure receptor's caressed by sound. Was wondering how YOU experienced the space and physicality of the poems -- was there anything u found FUNNY or sufficiently sultry as to produce a long and gorgeous sigh?

Mm and aren't there these tasty, cute moments of wow like 'tropic glut' ('O--NE') and 'prism arousal' ('Body Work') and 'clamour to emboss' ('Sapling').

Come to think of it, there are quite a lot of trees in Body Work, at the very least between 'Sapling' and 'Copsing', but also resonance in 'Awning', 'Annual' (which mentions 'yield', 'Thicket', 'sky-light muddle' etc) and 'Georgel' (georgics, idk?). Something about sprawl and thread: like the action of branches as arboreal mirror for threads of viruses, threads of code?

Side note: Can a person in a crowd of people experience canopy-shyness? Emily Berry has this lovely poem about crying and canopies and language.

Ways to dwell in inertia, violence, suspense ('Poem for July') as a 'clearing' within the pamphlet? Body Work as a title seems to combine two distinct fields: car repair and alternative medicine (hence mention of plants, cancers and crystals). The question of holistic approach, therapeutics, restoration. The sheen of metal, the sheen of health. O wise one of la letteratura del contemporaneo, pray tell your thoughts on possible Ballardian comparisons? Like obv v. different but I was struck by something to do with the cut-up structures of The Atrocity Exhibition and the way erasure works in Tom's work (probably in a more precise, attentive way, like the specialist's collage of tiny skins and digits, as opposed to grander themes of mediation that explode all over Ballard's work? -- generalising for the sake of interest obv).

Longing for a 'carvery [of] / uncommoning / rave'. Some kind of party you'd give up your skin for (is skin mere synecdoche of identity here?). Maybe the rave is what you were saying about scrambling.

Anyway, I hope your essay is going well. I must go read Hillis Miller's thoughts on Ariadne's thread, maybe make a tea. I've been getting these headaches lately, dawn to dusk & beyond, like the kind you get after being swimming (chlorine headache) or after crying (hormone headache). Pressurisation. I wonder if I have a parasite in my brain? So tonite I will probs lie awake, sleepless, listening for tinnitus :(

With warmth, Maria xxxxxxx

p.s.

Of course, by the time I get to the end of rereading I realise that it's only white marks being revealed underneath because literal holes have appeared in the Body Work cover, like some kind of fungus has been eating away at the book, performing another erasure.

Denise Bonetti <[email protected]> Fri, 1 Feb, 12:15 to maria.spamzine Dear Maria, Once again my legendary inability to reply to personal emails within a reasonable 1-month window manifests itself. Invoke my Scorpio moon (?) etc. I love it when people are like 'RIGHT - enough Facebook for me, email me if you want to talk etc', because that sounds like a nightmare to me. Long live IM! Long live the short form! (quite rich coming from someone whose job at the moment, I guess, is to churn out a dissertation?)

But then you know what I was thinking - someone like Clark Coolidge, for example, can get away with long form, intense long form. Not only get away, but own that long form. That long form I'm into. Clark Coolidge drown me in words and I'm fine with it, because he never dilutes, there's never any stagnation, you know what I mean, he just goes and goes and goes and you're like !!? YES!! HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS!? He just never runs out of steam. And I'm thinking of Coolidge because you mentioned crystals as agents in Tom B. (cf. The Crystal Text, how would the crystal speak etc), and of course because both Tom B. and Clark C. are just doing mad things with language, bold things and exciting things... They are like scientists you're friends with but who (maybe) don't like to talk about their work, then one day they decide to let into their basement lab where they've been secretly working on the most complex, organic, project for years, and they're like, don't freak out, here it is:

(Sorry for terrible quality [#postinternet] First is Tom B., second is Clark C.) Body Work looks quite controlled in form, visually speaking, with its vaguely justified lines, BIG symmetrical margins.. even the scattered pages look orderly! Like the bit of 'STRING WORTH' you sent. Which going back to your erasure thing, it makes me feel like Tom B. is giving us an OXO cube of his writing, all concentrated and delicious. But then my response is - show us more!!! Which rarely happens because I am scared of long form. And email. And dissertations. I also LOVE what you said about how Body Work combines car repair and alternative medicine!! That is absolutely spot on. Like the material, pragmatic tinkering motions of his writing, the referral to structures and the intention of like, see how far we can bend them and push them, but then it is never as dry as that! Very sweet motor oil. It's very kind poetry... generous! (A word that my friend Phoebe used to describe a certain type of poetry at a party last week and I thought, very interesting). Linguistically generous because it offers so many networks of reading, but then also.. approachable? As approachable as experimental poetry of this kind can be. I'm sure like, DANIEL would not think this is approachable lol (#COYBIG #romance). Which, fair enough. But if you're a nerd for this kind of poetry, then yeah. Like this bit from 'ANNUAL'??

*Cries!!! This is like you said, healing!! I feel looked after! 'Stomach prefers sound to day-to-day camphor'!!! Honestly what is this! So touching, so simple!

(Btw, I started experimenting with aromatherapy in my tiny room lol, do you know how to stop the water from boiling in the oil burner??)

Thanks for sending such interesting ideas over, I have to shoot to a seminar ! PPS: I saw Steven Connor in the English library yesterday (Oliver pointed at him silently like !!!!!!!!!!) so I kind of followed him to see what his approach to book browsing is.. very natural-looking and orderly? Surprised. Love the guy. *bubble sounds*

Lots of love Maria ‘let’s see where the spirits take us’ ur the best

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Maria Sledmere <[email protected]> 6 Feb 2019, 23:19 to denise.spamzine Dear Denise,

Makes so much sense to map your message sensibilities onto your taste in poetry! I am so torn between the percolated richness of the email, its classic deferral (omg hun I owe you a million emails!) through a sort of quantum dimension of procrastination, and in opposition the sugar rush nowness of IM. I am such a frantic typist that often I send the wrong messages or cross my wires or just gush too much, so email is probably a safe option for me. There is all too much blue in my Messenger windows...Temptation of x's and endless emojis. But such a beauty to IM and texts out of context, like I wonder how many people read your probs too late 4 a snog now :'((( as micro-fictions, versus poems. I have a whole folder of screenshots on my computer from things that happened on Facebook that I have no memory of. Something about the Romantic fragment, accumulating ruin.

(btw) I feel like these extracts also shed light upon Body Work somehow. Biodegradables versus hard minerals and synthetic matter. Inner/outer. Flush. Tbh I think the middle one was from you?

Yes the dissertation, the dissertation as labour; it's like you have to find your scaffold first. Sometimes I feel like the scaffold in that wonderful Sophie Collins poem, 'Healers', and I write and don't notice myself and suddenly I'm so there, but the scaffold is secretly taking her bolt pins out the more I write around her. You can only be so respectful to your scaffold when she's so in the way. Gemini problems?Duality; structure/content. What is it Tom McCarthy says: 'structure is content, geometry is everything'. I want to be a wee fractal in a sequence of massive refraction. Is that how it works? Back to scaffolds, maybe we need to find the kindest mode of dismantling, and that's when you work into a form or something. And then also the more organic structures! So for CC it's the whole crystal thing, and working out of crystal logic. And then you just go and go and it's wonderful, much extravagant fractality, almost like poetry as virus, replicate replicate, grow, change. Mm, it's so good. My friend Kirsty did this mad poem about a tree, I couldn't tell if it was a story or poem, it was just branching out in a way that seemed hungry, necessary, spreading its roots. She said she wrote it in a rush! As if trees could rush! I like to think she inhabited a concentrated moment of becoming-tree, like she was a myriad in the roots or leaves. I don't think it could have happened without the tree, you know? But also the tree was almost entirely absent, it was like a ghost of form. Maybe I forgot how it goes. The lines looked like branches or something. Can you have long-form concrete? Concrete I guess by necessity is long-form. It takes a lot of energy to make. People are building houses out of mycelium instead, which is rad. Talking of roots and that, I just wrote 26k words on ecopoetics & t h r e a d s over the past fortnight and it was kind of that process, like letting a sort of tapestry take hold and I was maybe just one more thread, I was hardly doing the weaving, everything was moving around me and I wanted to wriggle into more and more gaps. Becoming-thread, perhaps. The next step is to slack and cut, which is exciting. Where to even start?

Your description of the complex, organic project is so gorgeous. Poems slow-cooked in a lab with tender organic care. My two scientist PhD pals are always gramming these beautiful pictures of crystals they're growing or mad wave patterns on screens. And we go for lunch and I'm like what you doing this afternoon and they're like, Oh just shooting photons. And is that much different from spending your afternoon writing poems? (Yes, they'd groan). I'm just chasing bits of light. Reading Tom B's work it's this whole precision thing, the actual inhabitation of process as such, so you see the energy buzz between things. I don't mean to say simply this is atomic poetry or poetry as tool analysis. It's more a betweening.

Isn't it super difficult to write non-anthropocentrically and really inhabit micro-relationality and also sound interesting and sexy in the way Claire Colebrook (she has that great essay in Tom Cohen's Telemorphosis) describes as 'sexual indifference', i.e. that threat to heteronormative reproduction that 'has always been warded off precisely because it opens the human organism to mutation, production, lines of descent and annihilation beyond that of its own intentionality'? Well anyway Body Work really works this way for me, it's like a poetics of sexual indifference that is nevertheless charged with desire you can't really predict, it's something in the frisson between objects and lines and coils of form. I think of crystal charge, iPhone battery (mine's always dying, Gemini trait 100%), engines. Neat miniaturisations of entropy, surge, spike and flux. When the 'I' comes in I'm like hey, what flow are you? It's actually so satisfying to quote these poems as fragments btw, they can do so much on their own as much as in poems and pamphlets, I wonder if that goes back to the accessibility thing. Like the absolute charm of a line as auto-affection:

This bit is from 'Temper' and I go back to my point about the flush/fluster! Globe of air/your *bubble sounds*. Isn't everything held so neatly, and yet it never feels neat, it just feels sharp and sparking, this 'technical glossy finish' like a really nice car, the body paint of a poem, its prosody so tightly held it feels more surface, a selection of hues and textures. And the erotics of the text or at the very least its pleasure is the shift between bodies, synecdoche, yes you could say bodies without organs but things in themselves are also important. Maybe another poet who does this is Sylvia Legris, she writes these apparently impersonal poems filled to the seams with specialist lexis (you have to have like twelve tabs open per poem to get it), but there's an affirmative humour and energy that feels v much a personal sensibility, a deliberated skewing of world that splices the poet's agency among items, artefacts, language. I mean how nice are these poemsshe published in Granta. I feel like I want cutlery to read them with, if that makes sense. Maybe a scalpel, for the succulence. The appearance of an ear again!

And then the beautiful metallurgy of this line from Tom, like somebody pierced my ears with perfect silver and it let all the demons out:

I am worried about what a certain seizure would look like. When we talk about vitality is it a willing naivety towards matter qua matter, as if we could just step out of correlationism? Such thoughts for 11pm of a Wednesday night. I can't help but think of the body image that Elizabeth Grosz describes in Volatile Bodies, kind of riffing off Paul Schilder: 'What psychoanalytic theory makes clear is that the body is literally written on, inscribed, by desire and signification, at the anatomical, physiological, and neurological levels'. And yeah, cool, what about the nonhuman body also? Has anyone done a really good psychoanalysis of the object. Parsed its psychic striations (traumatic or pleasurable residues of every microbial, huh?). In fact, what about the psychodynamic model of actual icebergs? Time we started literalising the matter of metaphors, absenting 'real cultural / medium' and filling with meltwater, fire and flow. Maybe it comes down to a bead of ink, the 'intimate concentrate' which is Lucozade, hangover piss, sick pH levels. So yeah, Body Work for me is this totally seductiveintersubjective space which actually works out pretty visceral states, sometimes disembodying me into a more fractal, mineral or bacterial being. I could start talking Kathryn Yusoff and geomorphism too, but maybe enough strata for one email? Plus I'm mixing my metaphors, I'm sure, mostly because I'm still morphing, dissolving inside those lines. I think I ate too many OXO cubes.

As for your oil burner boiling, sounds like you have an overactive candle? Maybe try a cooler tealight, nestle it to the back a little to redirect the strength of the flame? I like rosemary oil for remembrance, cranberry for comfort, ginger for energy. That line about resin is so nice. I was in Crianlarich at the weekend and my friend Patrick found this massive log and he carried it for so long that you could smell the resin on his skin, it was amazing. I keep thinking about the word 'pitch' and lush tree-ness, and the Log Lady in Twin Peaks and poetry you can chew like new molasses, prior to melt. Is that how it works?

Somebody is smashing glass into a bin in my garden and probably I should just close the pamphlet...

...but it's like a delicious pdf that gives infinities...

Yours in multiples & cherryish flusters,

Maria xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxox

#review #tom betteridge #body work #Sad Press #reviews

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nctsolar-remade · 7 years ago

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💖Let's play a game! Choose some mutuals and tell me who you think they're most like in NCT personality-wise!💖

i was wondering when it’d come to me :-( and i hate doing these things bc i get so nervous n anxious but !! im gonna!! do my best- hopefully i dont forget anynoe n ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh anyway !!! i wrote all of this without my glasses btw so im literally not editing PLEASE. dont hate me im Blind. awoeifnawoeifwaneif and !!! also :-( this iS VERY FUCKING LONG. so i apologize in MAD ADVANCE for that aaaaa i tried to keep them short but when u love ur friends that shit is hard. :-(((

@fingerstoe: is literally who god decided to model Clowny Boy Yukhei after. idc what anyone says- Kween Karen is the Kween of Komedy and no one can out wit her- not even the meme lord mr yukhei himself. she’s honestly so funny n nice and ahhhhh no one could fioawnefoiawenoi outdo that HUMOR. im sorry. the comedy award this year (and every year) goes to miss karen, miss fingerstoe. its karen’s world and we’re all just living in it.

@xuxies: aaaaaaaa ok………… i swear……. i always tell ivie that i love her and :-( u kno i fckin do u BIG BEANIE BABY. but honestly, she’s … just like… john the man. john john john!!! u kno how i have a constant loop of his name running in my head instead of white noise? thats… thats.. also happening with “ivie ivie ivie” she’s so dorky n funny n cute :-(((( n just like mr. seo she makes me smile like a dummy !!! she’s always rootin for everyone n probably one of the nicest ppl in this fandom and she remains all softie n humble :-(( good person just like the big giant teddy bear :-(

@thotaeyong: isra!!! miss isra!! the lovingest kindest :-( i’d have to say she is much like mr. nakamoto !! a king :-( he acts all tough n like he could be mean n aggressive n cool n tough n secci (that last one he definitely is)- but he’s also :-((((((((( oooooo my god so cute n giggly n soft?? and we present Miss Isra?? who is all tough n all Leo n cool but :-((( under all of it… just a cute (sessi) bih.. soft to the CORE. good person who just wants to make everyone laugh and smile oh…. has her heart in the right place.

@kunqians: zen is basically ten and doyoung combined into One Person. much like doyoung, they would…. fight anyone who spoke badly about those who are most important to them :-( they have their heart in the right place, and a good head on their shoulders!!! and much like ten, they constantly have the wii music playing in their head… or at least im p sure thats whats going on ://// but !! much like ten !!! just a very good person who is LOVING and KIND and just … the BRIGHTEST human i… i love :-( zen so much oof.

@jonisuh: U KNO ABSOLUTELY FULLY CAPABLE MARK LEE??? WE GOT MISS ABSOLUTELY FULLY CAPABLE JENNIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like u know how hard working mr lee is??? miss jennie??? just as !! fucking hard working!! just as kind and cute and funny and GOOD. such a GOOD HEART. literally single-handedly healed my dumb ass with her genuine kindness?? mark lee would be PROUD. :-( honestly jennie has one of the BEST hearts ive… just… ever…. experienced im so lucky to have her in my life, and :-(((( mark is the same way- good heart. good personality. always laughing n being THE BRIGHTEST LIGHT IN MY WHOLE LIFE. :-(

@sichenges: a mixture of :-( taeil and doyoung! like taeil she seems SOFT n INNOCENT at first but we uncover the ass eating leo beneath. The Center of My Heart. much like a leo should be. but yeah :-( taeil walks into a room n BRIGHTENS the whole fckn thing- like haleigh. and doyoung, bc shes got a sharp tongue and calls me a furry (fck u ok. im not) and like both of them: comedy kween (but dont tell her it’ll get to her HEAD. we dont need that happening.)

@pawjohnny: u kno how… winwin can be very quiet and shy sometimes :-((( but then is quickly THE FUNNIEST NCT MEMBER? thats what sabrina kinda reminds me… of…. just… SUCH A SOFT HUMAN !!!! gently hugs her forever?? thats a Mood. but yeah :-((( she is so fcking cute n soft n good?? but also :-((( her posts where she makes a point are clear and concise like mr. king winwin himself!!!!!!!!!!!!! whatta guy!! whatta girl!!!!!!!! honestly :-(( good ppl who i love wholeheartedly!!!

@nerds-ct: ez is an angel who acts like :/// they dont :/// care .. trynna be Tough… not wORrking my dear. they’re really funny n cute and just :-( v talented and genuinely always there for me!!! for this reason, i’d have to say its a mixture of mr yuta n mr taeyong! yuta bc :-( like hales, they’re always acting like theyre a toughie but :-(( just a BIG WEENIE. and mr ty track bc they’re so hardworking and always doing the most so that they can be better?? and i admire that a lot!! is always friendly and warm and patient, like our dear grandfather ty so :-)

@gomarklee: fjjfjoawe mash!!!!!!! is!!!!!!!!!!! like haechan and !!!!!!!!!! renjun !!!!!!!!!! and !!!!!!!!!!!! also jaemin!!!!!!!!!! and also doyoung???? like v sassy, v funny and humorous??? just a pinnacle of humor and comedy!!! kween!!!!!!!!!!! but also lowkey :/// soft…. she doesnt want u to know this but she has a BIG heart hidden beneath a BIG HEAD. (just like mr mark the man she loves-) but yeah- like doyoung and renjun, she’s kinda sassy and very WITTY. but like haechan and jaemin and honestly renjun and doyoung… soft… good.. cute… genuinely a SOFTIE. i love her… :-(

@myfirstandlast: miss megan?? i think ive already addressed this MANY TIMES. but :-( miss megan is like mr haechan… mr sunshine sunflower cute ass bby bean!!! they’re both so cUTe. and soft n GOOD. and aaaa my heart~~ but she’s also a lot like?? mr. ty!!! just very much there for everyone?? always soft. always kind. always good. and much like our soft gay king mr. jungwoo, just doing her best, trying to be gay n soft n kind, and successfully managing wow an angel? i love her so much and she just :-( aaa i love love love megan she’s so good :-( easy to chat with, like i imagine jungwoo would be so.. i have to say a combo of hyuck and ty and jungwoo, but MOSTLY jungwoo!!!!

@27nct: ahhh :-( jung jaehyun whooooooo??? much like jaehyun, she is so quiet n soft?? just FULL OF ALL THIS LOVE !!! she rarely says anything but whenever she tags me in stuff my lil dumb WORMY heart goes !!! and always refers to me as WORMY. n i feel like jaehyun would also b the kinda dude to give silly cute nicknames to every1 :-(( he does weird things (like put his hands in haechan’s nose idk ?) anyway, she’s also like :-(( always being cute? like mr. jung jaehyun ….. the sfotest bread couple of the century lads.

#anon #answered #:-( IM SO SORRY THIS WAS SO FCKING LONG. IM SO SOSOSOSOOSOS SORRY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FCK #aofiwenofianweofiwaoi #i know i didnt write for sm ppl but im JUST SO TIRED I DIDNT WANT TO THINK. :-(#i just did the ppl that i talk to them most on here- and then some oof.#:-( sorry if this is annoying or i forgot u fajweofiaowefiawnfeo DONT HATE ME.

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