#also nfs right now while i decide what to do with these!

[cicada-heart]

beaded spider embroidery hoop 🕷️🕸️ handmade with vintage and salvaged beads- this piece has sold but i currently have beaded spider earrings in my shop!

etsy

[prisma-palace]

Mind sharing your HMSW designs with the class?/nf

HELLO!!! apologizes for the late reply i forget to check my inbox ^^ i've actually been intending to make reference sheets for em... buuuut i havent gotten around to that yet. so. heres what i got as of now!

(i'll make a big post digging more into specific details and design choices and headcanons Eventually cause i do have a lot to say. but that'll probably be included in the ref sheets when i finally make them. Unless someone asks me about specific details. Wink Wink Nudge Nudge)

mind

spider motifs!!! he has little fangs and an extra set of arms (that i keep forgetting to draw him with Oopsies). the spiderness was Unintentional at first but then i decided to just go with it and lean into it more cause i liked that idea. ill probably eventually redesign him to make him look Even More spidery but that day is not today sorry

his lower set of arms can extend/retract as he chooses. he likes to annoy heart with this. he also installed said arms himself one loop. it confused the Fuck out of heart & soul

HMS are all the same height so he wears heels to be taller cause of his Ruler-Of-Everything complex. and also i just like drawing characters with cunty ass heels

the broken side of his face is a result of the juno incident! his teeth are exposed and the big ol light on that side is his broken eyelight. its supposed to vaguely resemble a sun

also his teeth are blue. yeah

OH YEAH he also has a plug tail. it was a more recent addition so it isnt in these drawings but he does have it

heart

last two are a little old. but they show off his design so it doesnt matter

face feathers!!!!!! makes him look more creaturey :-)

the way his hair parts is supposed to be shaped like a heart

he does have a teeny feather tail but its usually covered up by clothing

his wings are purposefully messy looking, he does NAWT take care of himself. sigh. he cant really fly with them because theyre not strong enough to carry him, but he can hover/glide for short periods of time

hes SOME kind of amalgamation creature. mooostly bird, but nobody really knows exactly what he is. not even himself!

he has claws and sharp teeths hehe

he can Technically see but its VERRYYY blurry, he can only rlly see vague blobs of color. hes also super light sensitive so he wears the blindfold more out convenience than anything else ^^

hes a trans guy cuz im a trans guy and i said so Thank You

soul

right. so the problem with my soul design is that i've been meaning to redesign him for, like, a long time. However i havent actually properly fully drawn my new design for him yet! so instead enjoy what i Could find, put in order of newest to most outdated :-)

devil motifs however theyre not really fully intentional it just kinda Happened. hes not really anything specific to me, just an Unidentified Thing

neck scar. No further comment!

he has two rings on his horns, blue for mind and purple for heart

his middle horn is broken off .. :-)

claws but only on the shadowy side

if he gets particularly stressed or angry his shadow side starts to lose form and get all static-y

star shaped rip on his jeans!

also he has a star patch on his sleeve, as to match with heart and mind, who have a moon and sun patch on their knee and coat pocket respectively!

^^^ the yellow background on his patch is intentional

the eye on his shadow side is always closed. if its open thats how you KNOW you Fucked Up

whole

my whole design also has a problem but its kinda different. and its that. i dont. really. draw him often? what i Do have of him is either Old or not colored. so like. have what i do have i guess ^^

hes literally Just Some Regular Guy

his hair is a combo of HMS's: length/half-circle shape from heart, bangs from mind, ponytail + side thingies from soul

they arent rlly shown in these but he has two bracelets! one is red, purple, n blue and the other is tally hall colors

i kinda gravitate towards his name being CJ. a while ago i saw someone somewhere call him first name "Cash" last name "Something-That-Starts-With-J-I-Cant-Remember" hence the nickname CJ and its stuck with me. but also i havent thought about it all that much so Who Knows

theres a difference between him and "whole". whole is more of a Concept while hes the actual Person

on the rare occasions he manifests in headspace, HMS only see him as a shadowy figure. the closer they get to concord, the more of him gets revealed!

also. you didnt ask for her. but i wanna show her off anyway

love interest

i need to draw her properly sometime soon......

i like to think that her name is stella. as a miracle musical reference. heheh

idk shes very subject to change ill probably fuck around with her color palette sometime soon

i dont have like anything to say about her sorry. i like her. shes fun to draw

[ace4thespades]

(I meant to do this a while ago but then the "Chance is dead now" arc happened lol.

Referencing the "painting your revolver" ask: https://www.tumblr.com/ace4thespades/776999298817720320/dunno-how-you-would-go-about-customizing-your?source=share )

*Rou slides a box, bout the size of a shoe box, onto the sill of a window outside Chance's room. They're careful to keep themself out of sight, though one might spot a gray hand sliding that very box over.

He's tempted to knock on the window aswell, but forgoes it in favor of hiding. He probably won't stay for long if Chance doesn't notice the box right away, except he can't help but be a little excited by the prospect of watching the other open his gift to them.

Inside the box is various types of paints in a variety of colors, but the most plentiful of the bunch tend to be in black, red, green, and even purple. Theres everything from spraypaint to nail polish in there, though the bottles and cans seem to have been scrounged up from abandoned structures and mostly empty.

There's a note laying on top.*

"Heard you needed some paint! This is all I could find in terms of some. Hopefully one of these is perfect for customizing a revolver.

- Roulette "

*It's in Chance's handwriting.*

(Uhhhh dunno what floor Chance's room is on but lets just say Rou's a good climber ig lol. This may or may not be inspired by my friend (cloneontheloose) droping off a poker chip in a similar manner.

Also Roulette is not always the best hider so feel free to "spot" them if you wanna actually rp /silly /nf)

- @fauxfamiliarity

Well.. Ain’t this a surprise.

Chance stared at the variety of paint before taking the note. Reading it, they chuckle to themselves before quickly looking out the window and called out to whoever that was.

Hey, darl’! I appreciate the gift, though I’m not sure why you’d wanna stay hidden from me. I just saw ya slippin away and I want to thank you personally, come over here so I can get a good look at you, yeah?

\\\ OOUUGHH IM SO BAD AT WRITING . . . [thats definitely a good reason to why i draw comics instead 😭 LMAO] anyways decided to sketch out Rou because they look rlly coool . , . , and sketchasketch , . , [oh ya cl007n7 is there too HEEYYYYY]

[maddragonfruit]

I'm genuinely so interested in your swap AU so pls rant to me about literally anything in it (/nf)

Yay! Thank you! I'm gonna talk about how Accepting Anxiety went down.

So the title card starts with Thomas who keeps losing his words or stuttering because of pressure he's given himself to get it right, until the screen just cuts to the intro.

In the video portion, it's a lot of the same stuff, Thomas just failing with words and muttering and constantly echoing how horrible this is and how horrible he is. Then Roman shows up, not because he's worried but because this is a prime time to do his job of getting Thomas to quit filming the video.

After a little bit of back and forth, Thomas listing several worst case scenarios like "I'll get thrown onto the streets because I can't pay my bills, and none of my family will take me in because they think I'm disgraced, and I'll get addicted to crack as a way to cope, and I'll die alone before I'm thirty!" Roman does convince him to just. not do the video and go back to bed to wallow. By this point Roman has very clearly noticed something is up, because usually by this point either Relief(Anxiety) has come to stop him by now or Thomas just stopped him himself. So, he is a little bit worried, which is uncharacteristic for him.

Patton and Logan also show up at this bit too, also confused about how the hell Roman just won this one. Patton tries convincing Thomas to continue trying to film with some good old guilt-tripping, it doesn't work, he's still just anxious and miserable as hell, and they're all honestly quite confused over how Thomas is acting like this, and how Relief hasn't shown up to stop anything or make Thomas feel better.

They all try to summon him, some more of that classic guilt-tripping comes out and nothing. Now they're all feeling uncharacteristically worried about this scenario, which is weird because Roman should be happy Thomas actually conceded to him, Logan usually just doesn't care, and Patton's usually more frustrated and disappointed than worried when Thomas doesn't do his work. Now they all are also worried about some traits of themselves too. (As they are in the cannon while they're in Virgil's room)

So, they decide to go to Reliefs room, because at best Reliefs and he can stop flaking on his duties and worst, he's not there but his room calms everyone down anyway.

This is obviously where part one would end and part two would start.

So they get to Reliefs room and while they don't see him at first all of their worries and fears that aren't usually there are relieved of them.

Reliefs room is very warm and safe, not like cannon Patton's room where nostalgia makes you feel good, more like you just feel like you can put everything down and rest here.

It's very bright and welcoming, everything comfy and cushioned, the couch is practically buried in pillows and blankets, the curtains are double-layered so you can just block everything out if you need to or you can let all the light in. It all makes you feel very comforted and safe and nice, it's very relieving of all your worries.

So Relief shows up and greets them very hurriedly and surprised they're here. While he isn't being outwardly rude it's painfully obvious he wants them to go and leave him alone, which they don't.

Thomas kind of goes over the same things he does in cannon, "I wasn't feeling you at al,l etc" and Relief responds the same way Virgil does after a little bit of pushing and harassment from all of them to tell them what's wrong. "I decided it just wasn't worth it anymore" and the conversation does carry on quite similar to cannon until we get to Reliefs reasoning for why he didn't think it was worth it.

He. Is. exhausted. All the time, because of how overworked he is. Almost every side in Thomas's mindscape, or at least the ones Thomas knows about, cause him immense stress extremely consistently. As much as Relief likes his job, the constant insults and name-calling and overworking and hatred and stress that the others are inflicting onto Thomas and by default him is just far too much for him to do anything productively anymore. Nobody likes him, he's insulted constantly for just doing his job, he's always tired despite the fact that he's peppy in videos, and he just can't do all this anymore. There's no more reasons he can think of that he should keep doing this to himself, and so he ducked out, because it wasn't worth it anymore.

(There's also a more personal thing that happened around the same time as this that pushed him off the edge but it doesn't have anything to do with Logan, Patton, Roman or Thomas)

From the others at first come a lot of "boo-hoo you have to do your job" but as Relief explains just how exhausted he is and looking at his body language it's clear he isn't lying and it's a bit scary how they didn't pick up on this sooner. Over the video everyone does become more sympathetic to Reliefs cause, due to a combination of the fact that it's not like Patton or Logan directly go out and make Thomas stressed on purpose, and due to how everybody bonded with Relief over things they enjoyed and don't necessarily hate him and want him miserable. (Roman is complicated on this matter, he doesn't like what Relief does but after a bit of talking in this video he does agree that he doesn't want him gone from Thomas's life, because he has also begrudgingly bonded with Relief)

Now, in the original Accepting Anxiety the Yerkes Dodson curve comes into play and gets explained which I don't think happens in this, because I can't think of who would present it, but I do think something similar happens. Like Logan goes and talks about a similar idea to it, just not presenting the actual curve himself because he doesn't do things like that because he thinks it's boring. More going like "So like... we were pushing Thomas to one end of a line, and you were trying to push him to the other one?"

In cannon, Virgil's room makes everyone more anxious so it stands that this room makes everyone just generally feel better, making them act more relaxed and laid-back, this also loosens up the things they say to, making them more prone to just telling everyone what they're scared of and what they're worried about because "this is a safe space, I can say what I want here" which is true, Relief just knows that most people don't want to randomly start spilling worried because of a chemical reaction in their heads.

Around this mark all of the sides start telling Relief that they will try to tone down all the insults and cruelty and mockery and stress. That they do semi-enjoy his presence and want him to at the very least not duck out because he should still be in videos. It goes the same way it does in cannon, where Logan and Patton both say so before Roman says so to and finally convinces Virgil not to duck out, just with different sentiment.

Right after this, Reliefs room starts affecting them bad and he decides they all need to get out of here, he helps Thomas get out out. I'm not sure how? Maybe by talking about things that make Thomas and by default the other sides remember that there's a video going on so they don't just start saying stuff? Or maybe just telling Thomas to think about taxes and that makes him stressed? Whatever he does, it works and they all get out of Reliefs room.

Once their all back, Relief asks the others if they really meant what they said in his room, or if that was just his room influencing them. They reiterate that they do want Relief there, because they do like him, they've just been acting really shitty towards him.

Because they act like that with each other, and none of them care because while they do all like each other and have alright relationships, their dynamics have been built on tolerance and insults, and none of them realized how bad that was until Relief came and actually told them how damaging it is to hear people telling you these things constantly.

So Relief reveals his name "Virgil" and the rest of the video follows cannon, with Thomas talking about how to deal with certain topics and talking about the moral of the episode, the others being mentioned and Virgil assuring Thomas they're nothing to be worried about.

In the end card, Logan and Roman still go to Virgil's room for minor things. When Patton comes however, he subtly mentions how strange it is that Virgil put up with Patton, Logan and Roman so long before he just couldn't anymore, and again subtly asks if anything caused it. Then the video ends as Virgil and Patton have a conversation the viewer doesn't get to see.

Sorry if this was a bit long! I really wanted to ramble and this was the perfect opportunity to do it. Thank you for the ask!

[aby55-of-the-ab5o1ute]

give us the rest... /nf

GIGGLE YAYAYAYAYY

OKAY SOOOOO

Cantor, Uzi, R, and B hung out. And made plans to hang out more. The next time they came over though, Thad was also there. Cantor started fighting Thad because THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE GREEN!!!! But Uzi managed to shut it down

Cantor, B, R, Uzi, and sometimes Thad continued to hang out. Though eventually B and R confessed they felt forced to do it to Cantor. He was upset but didn't pressure them to come hang out.

Uzi asked R to hang out though, and R decided to go along with it. The two actually had a lot of fun, and wanted to hang out more. Eventually they had walks. They would just walk around while holding hands. One day Lizzy spotted them, and asked if they were dating. They both panicked, glanced at each other with blush covering their faces, and decided right then and there they were dating.

THE MEETING WITH THE SQUAD

Before this though, the contents of "Your Name Is Something Worth Remembering" happens. Uzi finds out R was apart of the squad consisting of V, N, and J. Uzi comforts R and says she won't force them to be known by the other DDs unless they're comfortable.

Eventually the three visit, oh and yes J is redeemed<3 (JUSTICE FOR HER, she's more like.. not working against them though. not working with them.). Uzi was gone for a bit, so it was just B, Cantor, and R who met them. Immediately B and Cantor guarded R. Eventually it turned into Cantor attacking the other DDs, and B having to physically restrain them so they didn't frickin' kill the three. Uzi came back, and managed to settle everything down. V, J, and N apologized to R and she accepted, but B and Cantor were still on guard around them.

Uzi started having "Girl Nights", involving V, Lizzy, J, B, and Uzi (along with Cyn ig lol). This is where B started lowering her guard with the other DDs, slowly learning to trust them. Especially J, since she actually knew J back at the manor.

J and B grew closer. Despite their opposite sleep schedules, the two always made time for each other. One day, J just.. woke up in B's bed with kiss marks. Neither remember what happened, but they decided they would be dating.

Then there's Cantor. He started being more cooped up in his lab more than usual, and Uzi had to use the key she had to force Cantor to take care of themselves.

The reason Cantor had been so cooped up was because they were once again trying to bring Cryp back. But were struggling.

One day Uzi couldn't check up on Cantor, so tasked N with doing it for her. Being the good friend he is, N listened. He came into Cantors lab, only to find Cantor passed out at his desk and a scared drone not knowing what's going on.

N walks over to the drone.

After a while Cantor awakens, he hears N and gets ready to attack.

He turns around.

And sees N comforting and playing with Cryp.

Cantor sees this and absolutely breaks down, full on sobbing.

Cantor walks over to N and Cryp, hugs N and cries into his shoulder. N comforts Cantor, and eventually Cantor calms down enough to hang out with the two.

Cantor tells B and R about Cryp being back, and the two are basically immediately in the lab.

Though eventually Cantor realizes something.

Cryp's visor isn't on, and.. neither are their systems. No one knows why, but it doesn't matter as long as Cryp is okay and here.

Cryp does struggle with vision though. Along with motor skills. Cantor often carries her around and holds stuff for her.

Anyways, N helping Cryp got Cantor to trust him more. and the two hung out a bit. along with this Cantor and Thad grew closer. Thad and N were already dating, and eventually the three became close enough where Cantor would tag along with dates. A while later, Cantor joined the relationship (I just want to say that Cantor is in a queerplatonic relationship with N and Thad<3).

One day V and Lizzy say they're going to go adventuring. They'll be harder to contact and such, but will try to come and hang out every now and then. So yeah! Lizzy and V go around to different outposts and DD squads :3

Cantor and Uzi hang out a lot, so it would be eventual that Cantor meets Khan and Nori. Nori is still just her core, but Cantor offers to build her another body. She accepts and Cantor eventually builds her a body, it does take quite a few months though. As Nori is trying out her new body, Nori mentions Alice, which gets a "you knew my mom?" from Cantor.

Thats when Nori starts panicking.

She confesses to Cantor that she and Alice had a kid together before Nori left. Which causes Cantor to freak, and immediately text Uzi "WE'RE HALF SIBLINGS". Uzi and Cantor are very excited about it. and are happy to know they're siblings.

Everything seems to be okay, hell better than okay, now! Everyone is happy and content.

But Cantor's solver gets worse, which like.. confuses everyone. But they soon figure out the AS is trying to use Cantor as a new host. It abandoned Cyn and is using whatever it has left to force Cantor to be a host. This obviously terrifies everyone, and leads Cantor to want to try and figure out how to stop it from happening.

Annndd I think thats all the Code and Bones lore, well theres some "future" stuff (Such as U and I coming back. Also Cyn getting a new body, and Yeva, Doll, Alice, and Beau being revived.) but I don't have any of that figured out for the most part so :3

[yurigalactica]

would you mayhaps infodump about LC! lyrics? 👀👀 /nf

(I saw you on the anon game and am incredibly interested)

OOOOOOOOOH YESYESYESYES I WOULD LOVE TO INFODUMP ABOUT LOS CAMP LYRICS

okay okay so first of all. this band is so good. they have so many banger ass songs and that cannot be denied. HOWEVER in my heart To Tundra will always reign supreme. like holy shit. it's got lyrics like "meet me at st. nicholas among the oaks, behind the church that sway like pig-tailed girls as summer wind whistles around your bare-skin knees and the forsythia leaves" and "we take on the burden of all these sad-eyed children with lilies bunched in our hands" like. those lyrics are so visceral and potent they literally leave me with my mouth hanging wide open after i hear them. oh my GOD that song is magical

some of my other favorite songs lyrically is OBVIOUSLY tiptoe through the true bits. that's the song that whenever i hear it i have to stop literally everything i'm doing, turn up the volume as loud as it will go, close my eyes and just absorb the Vibes. it's so gorgeous AHHHHHH. the bit that makes my heart go !!!!!! is the part where it goes "the bed-spread decked in suns and moons and symbols of the star-signs, how you read how mine applied to how I would be sex-wise." like that paired with the little guitar picking up in the back and the drums kicking in are SO GOOD AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AND. IN MEDIA RES. that song changed my life genuinely. like WOW. the whole vibe of it, especially the end when the trumpets (i think they're trumpets at least) kick in and gareth goes "if you were given the option of dying painlessly in peace at 45 with a lover at your side, after a full and happy life, is this something that would interest you? would this interest you at all?" like WOW what an existential crisis moment while you feel like you're running through a rainy field. man that hits yknow

ALSO i am emotionally attached to Documented Minor Emotional Breakdown #4. i dont know why but the first time i ever heard it my brain latched its claws onto it and now it wont fucking let go. so whenever i hear the guitar at the beginning i am Legally Obligated to belt out at the top of my lungs "I RESTORED YOUR MOTHER'S FAITH IN MEN WHILST BORING YOU TO DEATH LEFT NOTHING MORE THAN A CIRCLE OF STUBBLE RASH AROUND YOUR CHEST--"

AND!!!!!!!!! for flotsam also has a very special place in my heart. i love the lyrics in that one, particularly "summer of odd-numbered year" like. MY GUYS YOU ARE SO CREATIVE???? all of your football metaphors to describe your boredom and emotions. like i don't watch football but you go guys i think its so kickass. i love you los campesinos. also the bit where they go "flotsam, jetsam, and spindrift, all the girls i have loved, dumped to earth by a spendthrift, gilt angels from above" with the "aaaahhh" in the back and the very faint piano in the background that i can only hear when i'm listening to it with my gaming headphones on bc my gaming headphones have really good mid range. just AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

AND WHAT DEATH LEAVES BEHIND TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 fun little fact this was the first song that i listened to when i first decided to listen to their discography all the way through. and let's just say that was a VERY good start because i was very impressed right off the bat. like "i was the first match struck at the first cremation, you are my shallow grave, I'll tend you as a sexton, if you're the casket door that's being slammed upon me, i'll be a plague cross painted on your naked body" LIKE HOLY SHIT. THATS SO EVOCATIVE. HOW DO YOU USE SO MANY METAPHORS AND BIG WORDS. THEYRE SO GOOD AT WORDS. i love listening to this one because it is so lyrically complex and yet it all goes together so well auuugghhhhhhhh

also since i started university recently, hung empty rings very near and dear to my heart. like the bit in the bridge that goes "my vision is fading, it's blurry, there are fingerprints all over the sun, we're glad to be loved but we're lonely and we feel like we're the only ones." like. that's the experience of moving out right there!!! i don't know where the fuck i am and i'm so lonely but it feels so bright and new and cinematic. this song Gets me on the most fundemental level it feels so very College-Esque

ALSOOOOOOO she crows!!!!!!!!!!!11 i LOVE she crows. someone inject this song into my veins Right This Fucking Instant. i need to live and breathe this song right now. just the instrumentals combined with the anthemic feel of the song really seals the feeling of looking back on your life and all of your mistakes and acknowledging that all of them brought you to where you are now. especially the end bit, i don't know why, but when it goes "big tip for the pretty girl waiting the IHOP, these blank napkins/unwritten suicide notes, it's dark inside these eyelids, blacker than the ink (squid)" it really feels like the end of the day. these are the lyrics that buzz like caffiene in your veins as you sit outside a dutchbros at eleven pm surrounded by the only people you feel like you can be yourself around. it's the feeling of cold biting at your skin while your heart feels warm and full. it feels like an open finale, the first time you smile in a long time, an acceptance of the complex beauty of life, that unforgettable moment when you realize that you wouldn't trade who you've become for the world

and CODA A BURN SCAR IN THE SHAPE OF THE SOONER STATE. I LOVE CODA SO MUCH AGH. PERFECT CRYING IN THE SHOWER SONG. like the lyric "an artist's impression of the manhattan skyline" will get me fucking SOBBING immediately. it feels like watching the world move on without you, the world a blur as you crumple inward under the weight of your emotions, a collapsing star in an endless void. and then obviously "i can't believe i chose the mountains every time you chose the sea" WOAH the SYMBOLISM i will just pass away right here in my dormitory with my headphones on. no sorry professor i can't write my essay i am unwell about the romance is boring album again. sorry yeah i'll be unavailable for 3-5 buisness weeks

but uh. yeah. los campesinos amirite???????????

[p4wnz0r-xp]

hello! i am a therian and ive been struggling to figure out what exactly my types are, despite having identified this way for many many years of my life. i recently realized i feel very strongly like a spotted hyena but im not sure - so I thought id ask ! how did you find out youre a spotted hyena , and do you have any advice ? /nf of course!!!

(nf = not forcing)

Hi anon!! Thank you for asking amd I am so sorry if my response is sooo late cuz I just checked the inboxes right now ^_^

As a kid, I kinda felt like I was not human. I didn't really think much about it because humans raised me like their own kind. They rarely teached me about animalistic behaviours, and even show hatred to some of them.

But then, I found a community. The therian community. Well, sort of. Because I got on tiktok to start my journey, it was a bad start. Misinformation was EVERYWHERE. I even felt guilty because I identified as a wolf therian back then, and a lot of people complained that there were "too much" wolf therians. I kept stressing about that and I kept asking if I was faking it. I decided that this is just a phase and "left" the community.

A few months later, in a normal afternoon in my bed; I just decided that "welp, I guess I am non human after all." I am okay again. I have accepted myself that I am not fully human and embraced it. It's kind of odd tho, because I dont have a vision of myself as a wolf even though I identify as a wolf therian. I decided to do a little research. After a while, I saw spotted hyenas. Something sparked in me, as my mind goes "oooh this is definitely me. I am a hyena and a hyena is me".

Getting in tumblr, I also found out that there are more than just therians and mystical otherkins. I also begin to have more complex identites and connections. Since I still love feeling like a wolf, I made it my linktype.

But most importantly, I finally realized that therian is not inclusive in one thing. You don't need to be born as a therian. Physical therians exist and theyre valid. Chosen therians are okay. What I can conclude is that; if you identify as an animal, youre a therian. Boom.

My advice is.. See what label and things that suits you. See what feels like you. If you see a spotted hyena and you can project yourself on it, or if you feel like you're THAT animal, the you are a therian. "But I think I chose to be that" It doesn't matter. "Idk I think I am faking it" You wont fake something you genuinely feel like, right? "But," As long as it makes you happy and free and don't hurt anybody, then you are you. Explore variety of labels that feels right and comfortable to you. <3

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

i would like to hear abt monster au specifically evelin or dave if you have any info on them :3 /nf

EHEHEHEHEHEHHEHHE okay so-

Evelins deal. She was human, born in Mandela (being the reason she's albino actually, cause it's more likely to be born as such within Mandela's borders!), and she dated Adam for a while, like in canon then also broke up with him. Did NOT know he was a werewolf. One night, she heard a voice outside her window, telling her to follow the "screams". She didn't know why, but. ended up deciding to do so anyway. She ended up at Adam's house, walking into the home to find Adam turning into a werewolf. soon after, Evelin was attacked and killed by him, though. ended up. waking up in the morgue post autopsy. Now she works at MandelaTECH due to it being one of the few places she remembers due to her SUPER foggy memory. She's harmless. most of the time. occasionally she does get a tad. peckish, and for some reason she never craves normal food.

Now Dave. He's a shapeshifter (specifically with woodland animals) that came from the forest, made by the Willow itself (actually used to be a common raven before he was turned into a big bird man, and then into a human.) He's been around since the early 1900s, and founded MandelaTECH in 1981. However! MandelaTECH in this au is actually more of a thrift store that primarily sells tech, but also random knick knacks Dave found and thought were cool enough to sell. (He mainly collects these things on midnight trips, flying around in his bird form to random abandoned places to look.) He took Evelin in after she walked all the way to the store, right after leaving the morgue. Just. decided he'd do what he could to protect her and keep her safe, due to how vulnerable she is. Plus he just wants to make sure no one finds out she's undead, as a safety thing.

[aijamisespava]

2023 vs. 2024 Part 2: Semi-Final 1 Countries

Continuing on our little adventure into the competing countries, we now look at the countries performing in the first Semi-Final in this year's contest and determining which entry I liked better...their 2023 entry or their 2024 entry.

Also, while there is one returning country and one non-returning country, I will go into those countries first before moving on to the countries with a 2023 and 2024 entry.

Luxembourg: Fighter. Okay. Yes, I am still sad about Drowning In The Rain not being the song talked about. But we are here to talk about Fighter, so let's do that. It's a cute lil' song that with right staging and running order could be a great performance! BUT, the reason it ranked low is the fact that with all the other shiny songs that came after it, it got lost in the shuffle a little. I do know we are getting a revamp, so maybe that will help the song a little more, we will have to wait and see.

Ukraine: Heart Of Steel vs. Teresa & Maria. Winner: Teresa & Maria. While Heart Of Steel is a wonderful song and great addition to my playlist, it had to grow on me a little bit before I could really appreciate it (thank the revamp too). But Teresa & Maria stays with me. I've seen so many reels of alyona and Jerry singing the song on Youtube reels (per algorithm), so I guess that's fate saying something.

Cyprus: Break A Broken Heart vs. Liar. Winner: Break A Broken Heart. Both are kinda sorta breakup songs. While Liar takes the sassy approach to the end of a relationship, I loved the melancholic feel that Break A Broken Heart has. I'm also a real sucker for high notes (need I remind you that I'm a Gjon's Tears fan?), which Andrew Lambrou does so well too.

Poland: Solo vs. The Tower. Winner: The Tower. There is no denying that Solo has cemented its place in the Eurovision meme world. And while it has grown on me enough to listen to it when someone put it on the aux cord, The Tower just sounds so good. I would literally be sitting around as the song starts and I'm like "wait, what song is this?" and then Luna starts singing and I'm like "ooooo yes!" Needless to say, I haven't tired of The Tower yet and still feel like I'm listening to it for the first time.

Serbia: Samo Mi Se Spava vs. Ramonda. Winner: Samo Mi Se Spava. This was so hard for me to decide as I actually really love both of them (I mean they both ranked 2nd). Ramonda is so beautiful and emotional, and may have changed what my favorite flower is. And Samo Mi Se Spava is an auditory experience. It went onto a WIP soundtrack within MINUTES after first listen, which is really the only thing making the decision. This will certainly fluctuate over time.

Lithuania: Stay vs. Luktelk. Winner: Stay. Luktelk, a great entry in full Lithuanian, a bop, a total dance song with great staging potential. I've liked it since I ranked the Lithuania songs in the NF. But with Stay, it's one of those songs that really came out at the right time, so I'm in emotional debt to that. But it was another tough decision for this country.

Croatia: Mama ŠČ! vs. Rim Tim Tagi Dim. Winner: Rim Tim Tagi Dim. Let 3 brought forth a piece last year that was also an experience. It was certainly an acquired taste, garnering as many fans as people who ranked the song dead last. But Baby Lasagna and Rim Tim Tagi Dim scratches that itch in my brain that I didn't know I had. Listening to it is fun, plus the lyrics kind of resonate with me (as a college student that moves out of her hometown to attend school).

Ireland: We Are One vs. Doomsday Blue. Winner: Doomsday Blue. I don't think there is another country that took such a drastic turn between what they sent in 2023 and what they send in 2024 as Ireland. We Are One was a great safe entry that fell victim to early selection and a bloodbath semi. Doomsday Blue, however, has something more. My biggest complaint with We Are One is that I felt something was missing. Doomsday Blue feels like a complete package that I know Bambie will bring to life on the stage.

Slovenia: Carpe Diem vs. Veronika. Winner: Veronika. Another tough decision here. Carpe Diem is up my alley musically with rock elements mixed with a spice of pop with an infectious attitude that makes me want to get up and dance. But Veronika? That song puts me in such a trance when I listen to it. The operatic spice adds a cinematic feel to it too.

Iceland: Power vs. Scared Of Heights. Winner: Power. Similar to Lithuania, Power came to me at a time where I might have really needed it. It's still such a great song (listened to it just the other day). Scared Of Heights has great energy which should garner some votes too, but only time will tell.

Finland: Cha Cha Cha vs. No Rules!. Winner: Cha Cha Cha. I don't think any entry can top the iconic energy that Käärijä and Cha Cha Cha had. No Rules! is a good follow-up to try and mimic (or better) the success their predecessor had. But I still dance around my room to Cha Cha Cha once in a while.

Portugal: Ai Coração vs. Grito. Winner: Ai Coração. This is my reminder to listen to Grito some more. Ai Coração jumps around my mind. It's fun, the performance was sassy. It is one of the best Portugese entries I have seen. Grito, however, has a very beautiful tone that should not be slept on either.

Australia: Promise vs. One Milkali (One Blood). Winner: Promise. One thing about me is that I love my ballads, and I love my rock entries. Promise is just that. It's a thrill from start to finish that I enjoy listening to whenever it plays on my playlist. However, I really liked the feel that One Milkali (One Blood) had when I listened to it. For my take, it's best described in the post I made about the song when it came out.

Moldova: Soarele Și Luna vs. In The Middle. Winner: Soarele Și Luna. This feels like an All-Star battle. We have Pasha Parfeni from 2012 and 2023 vs. Natalia Barbu from 2007 and 2024. And while In The Middle has one of the CATCHIEST hooks of this year's selection, Soarele Și Luna was my sister's winner last year. So whenever I hear this one, I tell her and it makes us happy.

[undead-maggot]

you know what time of year it it again (～￣▽￣)～

info dump about the zombie au and the metal au ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

/pos /lh /nf

HII HELLOO HIIII 👋👋👋 i'll start with the metal au first 🏃🏃

Julie is in a separate band with their three siblings called "The Joyfuls", shes the lead singer of it and they usually play in small places like clubs or bars

Most of the band members have tattoos on their body, i'm still figuring out which ones they have but here i'm gonna list a few i thought about:

• Frank has a big butterfly tattoo on his back

• Julie has a flower pattern that covers her right arm and a medusa tattoo on her left one

• Barnaby has his whole right arm tattooed black and has the classic "Mom ❤️" tattoo his left shoulder (Eddie has one too on his right shoulder, just more simple)

• Wally has a semi-colon tattoo on his left wrist

• Julie, Sally and Poppy have small matching heart tattoos on the back of their left shoulders

Sally likes to do her girlfriends makeup when theyre getting ready for a gig

Wally sometimes tends to spend a lot of money on his friends because they mean a lot to him, he usually spends on gifts for them or paying for something when they go out together, especially on the holidays or their birthdays

Eddie likes to collect guitar picks

The headband with black and white horns that Howdy uses was made by Julie as a birthday gift for him (the headband with white horns she has is also made by them)

Barnaby often goes to Wally's apartment during the night to have sleepovers with him, where they like to watch movies together while cuddling though they usually end up falling asleep in the middle of them

In the bands early years, Poppy's hair used to be fully red, she later decided to dye it to the rainbow color she has now

Luckily, Sunny and Frank managed to stay in good terms some years after their breakup, Sunny apologized for what he did and wished Frank luck on his new relationship

And now the zombie au 👏👏

Wally sometimes likes to nibble Barnaby's neck or shoulders when hes bored, he does it softly so he doesnt hurt him with his sharp teeth

Julie, Sally and Poppy share a motorcycle which they like to ride together, though its usually Sally whos driving it she sometimes likes to switch drivers with Julie, Poppy doesnt know how to drive one sadly, but the girls always invite her to be the copilot

Since Wally doesnt sleep, he does as guard at nights while the other neighbors are sleeping to make sure they don't get eaten by other zombies

Eddie used to play an acoustic guitar before he lost his arm, he can still play it with the help of someone though, it's usually Howdy who helps him since he learnt how to play some instruments in his teenage years

Julie used to work as a kindergarten teacher before the zombie outbreak had gone through (plus him and Frank where already friends during that time)

Wally's irises can glow in the dark, he has scared the neighbors accidentally more than once because of this (except Barnaby)

The neighbors like to play cards together when they arent doing anything important

Sally used to be a professional gymnast before the zombie outbreak had gone through

Wally liked and sometimes used to dress in 70s fashion when he was a human

Barnaby had a wife which he loved dearly, but she sadly cheated on him </3 (he divorced her when he found out dw)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Alright!! thats everything i have now 🙌🙌bye bye everyone 🏃🏃

(edit: some info is outdated/not canon anymore 💔)

[lemontartc]

Toralei WIP update: She has a name now, and it's Rum(my). I took her out of the acetone two days ago and yeah, if it did anything at all, it's very minor holding her up to my NF Toralei to compare. I let her sit to make sure she hardened again, but I ended up cutting off the rest of her hair right away. I didn't before despite knowing I wanted to change it because I was kind of thinking I still wanted to experiment with styling techniques on her hair, but I have plans for other customs in the future I can try out styling on if I want to before changing their hair, and her hair just wasn't drying out the acetone, so I trimmed it all.

I tried to remove her roots today, but it was a lot harder than it always looks in the videos lol. I wasn't sure I was actually going to be able to do it even after cutting the back of her head open to help (it would have been completely impossible without that, my needlenose pliers didn't even fit through her neck). It took me a really long time and honestly I'm not sure removing heads and pulling roots is something I can really do again with my disability, but I don't know of a precedent for people wigging on top of trimmed rooted hair? I should probably look around for that. I knew from the start there was no way I was physically capable of rerooting, but I probably should have expected more pitfalls before then. Usually when I see people talk about difficulties with customs it's faceups not turning out or rerooting taking forever and being painful, but I never have just the problems that able-bodied people have.

Anyway I did finally get (basically) all of it out, and I went over her scalp with acetone to remove the red paint. I tried sealing the back of her head with E6000 and I currently have a rubberband wrapped around her head to hold it in place even though it basically dried before I even got it in place, but I'm not sure how well the glue will hold. I have a feeling it's going to burst when I try to put her head back on her body but we'll see lol. I'll check her in the morning and see if I think she's ready to start doing a faceup. If she is, I have to decided if I want to go ahead and put her head back on her body first. I'm pretty sure I've seen it both ways and I don't think I'm ever getting her head off again, so I want to put it off as long as possible to make sure I don't need to do anything else with it off, but I also don't want to ruin her faceup while trying to shove it back on later either. I haven't made a decision yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh yeah I tested out my new respirator while doing the glue since you're supposed to be cautious with E6000 (nothing like what I see people saying about MSC, but definitely use it in a ventilated place) even though it was total overkill and wow is an organic particle mask a completely new kind of thing. I've never worn a mask like that before it kind of felt like being a hazmat guy in a movie lol. It wasn't super comfortable and I can tell it's either too small (meant to fit all around my face) or too big (meant to settle and seal just around my mouth) but it's clearly getting a seal and it's what I have from a tested and approved brand so I'm sticking with it lol

Hopefully the next step goes better and her head seam doesn't burst open (I trust E6000 with a lot of things, but I know it's common when you have to cut the back of the head open, so I'm worried considering how many difficulties I've already faced). I did more planning out for her faceup and I'm excited to give it a try

[snow-on-mtsilver]

GAHHH SO I DECIDED TO DO THIS and we decided to start by giving the tulpa a mightyena base form(it might change depending on what they want later on) since it was something we've been thinking about for a bit mostly because mightyena is a full animal while i'm kinda like??? very partially animalistic???(like ears, tail, meowing when i'm alone, kneading motions, and wanting to bite things) so we're hoping it's kinda like if i was a transition to help it be easier for it to grow?? (if that makes any sense), and we basically puppeted it to be like??? a normal animal, we basically decided to start with like (platonic ofc, we're not weird) snuggles like if you had a dog that didn't know that it WASN'T a lap dog since we just woke up, and we figured that'd be the best way to start since we have been feeling like there's been something snuggling us whenever we sleep since last year (and we have also felt like said thing was breathing, which might be nothing besides our thoughts being like "grrrr i wamnt snuggle" but), and when we finally got up we were basically puppeting it to follow us, i don't know if this is the best way?? but one of the guides in the list of guides @ \ antiradqueef sent in the replies(ty again!! :3) said puppeting was a way to help grow the tulpa? (tulpa feels wrong to say ngl), so i'm trying that out for now, so far it's going decently okay??? idk if it's going good, i am VERY new to this and i don't know what's a good sign or not or if i'm even doing this right </3 iif anyone has any tips pls pls pls pls pls pls /nf

- 🔥🐉

ngl i'm kinda nervous to talk about this but, me and glitchy were recently talking about trying to willingly form new headmates??? like idk how to describe it, but we've been thinking about trying to do that?? but like we know nothing about forming headmates willingly and we don't even know who we'd want to form (if that's even possible), but i'm pretty sure people can form alters willingly??(we still don't know much about systems) we're just unsure how or if it can be somewhat controlled who forms, but like we've been thinking about creating alters?? idk but i feel like it would kinda be nice to test out creating a willomate(is that the term???) just to see how it is?? but i'm just nervous because we've never really heard about this before entering the system and plural side of tumblr

- 🔥🐉

[adhd-merlin]

merlin's personality type (mbti)

Post inspired by my own poll, which was in turn sort of inspired by a post calling Gwaine and Merlin "extrovert bisexuals". This baffled me at the time because, to me, Merlin was obviously an introvert. But when I stopped to think about it, it wasn't actually all that obvious. 

As I mentioned previously in my own tags, I think you could make a decent argument for either Extrovert Merlin or Introvert Merlin. After some flip-flopping, I think I've gone back to my original position (for now). Introvert Merlin still feels right.

Why, you didn't ask?

Below I ramble about MBTI types despite actually knowing very little about the whole system. Read at your own risk.

(I want to clarify that I don't think there's anything scientific about MBTI classification. I like to think about it in the same way I would try to sort a character into a Hogwarts house. It's just fun.)

Since it was proving tricky to pinpoint Merlin's position on the Introversion/Extraversion spectrum, I decided to first narrow it down to a few MBTI types that might suit his character.

The 16 MBTI personalities can be divided into four “macro-categories” (known as “temperaments”):

Guardians

Artisans

Rationals

Idealists

To me Merlin obviously belongs in the "Idealists" group, which would make "NF" the "core" of his type (xNFx). This leaves us with two orientations still to be defined: "Extroversion vs Introversion" and "Judging vs Perceiving".

(The 4 MBTI dimensions)

Potentially, Merlin could be an:

INFP – The Mediator

ENFP – The Campaigner

INFJ – The Advocate

ENFJ – The Protagonist

Judging vs Perceiving

One thing I find interesting about Merlin is his decision-making process.

There are some momentous decisions that Merlin spends a considerable time agonising over – for example, whether to kill Morgana or, later on, Mordred – but once he's made a choice, he tends to actually be quite inflexible about it.

Seriously, good luck stopping the little guy once he's decided that something Must Be Done.

“Don't try and stop me, because...you can't.” (The Wicked Day, 4x03)

(That's right, Gaius. Fucking deal with it.)

Merlin will BULLDOZE his way to his goal regardless of anyone's opinion, sometimes even in the face of actual evidence suggesting this might actually be a Bad Idea™.

There is one significant occasion in which Merlin backtracks after having made a huge choice, and it's when he resolves to save Morgana's life after an accident he involuntarily caused (her fall down some stairs) left her deadly injured.

I'll come back to the reasons behind Merlin's change of mind later. What's interesting to notice is that, even in this case, once Merlin’s made his decision he sticks to it quite stubbornly.

He has to ask Kilgharrah for help to heal Morgana and his exchange with him, in case you don’t remember, goes something like this:

Kilgharrah: Merlin don't this is a terrible idea

Merlin: JUST FUCKING DO IT

This stubbornness – or better yet, inflexibility – makes me lean towards Judging rather than Perceiving as Merlin's preferred mental function.

While it's true that Merlin sometimes defers making a decision until it's no longer possible (see: freeing Kilgharrah), which is superficially similar to the way Perceivers prefer to keep their options open for as long as they can, Merlin doesn’t do it to see if new information might come up and help him make a better choice. He only needs time to internally evaluate the decision and consider how it aligns with his moral values.

Once a choice is made, Merlin can act very impulsively – as I've joked about here – and is very reluctant to deviate from the plan, which is typical of "Judger" types.

I also think this becomes especially apparent during the whole Mordred situation. Merlin never really pauses to take Mordred's actual actions into account when deciding whether or not he poses a threat to Arthur – despite Gaius trying to at least make him consider that Mordred might not mean the king any harm. Once Merlin decides that Morden is dangerous and needs to go, there's no turning back (not until it's too late).

Extroversion vs Introversion

(A typical introvert, according to most people.)

Merlin tends to make decisions based on his own values and feelings first. Yes, he will consult others in moments of doubt – like Gaius or Kilgharrah – but his first instinct and tendency is to do what feels right to him even when it's not the wisest or most logical course of action based on the facts at his disposal.

(Incidentally, I find this interesting when compared to Arthur, who – in my opinion – turns to others for counsel far more readily [Merlin, Gwen, Agravaine] and gives more weight to the advice he receives. Arthur’s actually more open and flexible than Merlin when presented with evidence that contradicts his worldview – see his attitude to magic at different points in the show, perhaps most notably in episode 5x05, when he decides to return to the Disir.)

Merlin's decision-making progress is very much inward focused, which makes me think of an Introvert rather than an Extrovert.

I'm thinking of Introvert vs Extrovert (or Extravert) in a Jungian sense here, which is to say, not (just) how someone interacts with others and how social interaction might drain or energise them – quite a subjective metric* – but rather whether they have a tendency to turn inwards or outwards to process information and react to external stimuli.

Or, in Jung's own words, whether someone is "more influenced by environmental influences or more influenced by subjective factors".

An introverted consciousness can be well aware of external conditions, but is not motivated by them. The extreme introvert responds primarily to internal impressions. (x)

In this specific sense, I think Merlin acts more as an Introvert than an Extrovert, which would make his MBTI personality type “INFJ”.

INFJ – The Advocate

INFJs are also known as Advocates, Protectors or (rather aptly, in Merlin's case) Counsellors.

I won’t go into a description of this personality type here – like I said I’m no expert, and you can Google it just as easily as I can. 

I’ll just highlight a few INFJ traits that I think are very relevant to Merlin.

Once they have formed an intuition about something, INFJs tend to stick to it very tightly, often to the point of being single-minded in their focus. INFJs are sometimes viewed as stubborn and unyielding. (x)

Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ's stubbornness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. (x)

Something typical of INFJs is also having strong "hunches" (what Arthur would call "a funny feeling"). They are very much a "mystic" or "visionary" type.

INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. (x)

Of course, much of Merlin’s intuition is based on magic, but that isn't always the case.

When Gwen Comes Back Wrong™ from the Dark Tower, Merlin can sense she isn't quite the same. When Gaius asks him to elaborate, however, he is unable to articulate exactly why he feels that way, because there is nothing obviously different about Gwen.

MERLIN: Have you noticed anything about Gwen of late? GAIUS: Nothing unusual. Why? MERLIN: I'm not sure exactly. GAIUS: Something she’s said? Something she's done? MERLIN: No. It's nothing in particular. (A Lesson in Vengeance, 5x07)

I'd like to point out that 1. Merlin looks especially hot in this scene, 2. his "funny feeling" has nothing to do with magic here. In fact, it takes him stalking Gwen and digging for evidence to discover that she is conspiring with Morgana.

Advocates tend to carry around a sense – whether conscious or not – of being different from most people. With their rich inner lives and their deep, abiding desire to find their life purpose, they don’t always fit in with those around them. (...) Many Advocates feel that their life has a unique purpose – a mission that they were put onto this earth to fulfill. For people with this personality type, one of the most rewarding aspects of life is seeking out this purpose – and then, once they’ve found it, striving to do it justice. (x)

Merlin's search for purpose is one of his main drivers (if not the main one). He almost immediately asks Gaius if he knows why he was born with magic and is quite heartbroken when Gaius can't offer a satisfying answer. After Kilgharrah tells him about the prophecy that concerns him and Arthur, Merlin throws himself into his destiny wholeheartedly, readily adopting it as his life's purpose.

Another INFJ characteristic which I think fits Merlin’s character quite well is that INFJs are harmony-seekers and deeply concerned about others’ feelings.

We see it at times in Merlin’s interactions with Gaius – although the two of them have their disagreements, and Merlin can be quite vocal about his opinion, Merlin's first instinct is usually to keep secret anything that might upset or worry Gaius too much.

For example, when Gaius earnestly pleads with Merlin not to meet with Finna (The Kindness of Strangers, episode 5x10), Merlin gives an evasive answer rather than confronting him, despite having already made his decision.

Being at odds with Gaius is truly distressing to Merlin – as shown in episode 3x09 (Love in the Time of Dragons), where Merlin's dejection after an argument with Gaius is evident enough for Arthur to notice and try to offer his advice.

Although INFJs rely primarily on Introverted Intuition (their dominant function) this is supported by Extroverted Feeling, their auxiliary function.

Extraverted Feeling is the secondary function in INFJs. Deeply concerned with the energy, moods, and feelings of others, INFJs have deep insights into people and situations and make decisions based on how they will affect people. (x)

In stressful situations, an INFJ might try to rely on emotions when making decisions, especially if it means pleasing other people. (x)

I think the best example of the above trait is Merlin deciding to save Morgana’s life in episode 3x05 (The Crystal Cave) after his initial decision to let her die. He does not do this because of any new evidence or information – he still has every reason to believe Morgana poses a threat to the king and kingdom, if not immediately at least in the near future – but because he's witnessed how her imminent death is affecting those he cares about (in this case, Arthur and Gwen).

It could be argued that Merlin’s choice not to reveal his secret to Arthur is also partly motivated by his Extraverted Feeling tendencies rather than just self-preservation.

"I didn't want to put you in that position" – he tells Arthur – again, showing a keen awareness of other people's feelings and a desire to maintain social harmony.

You can read more about the INFJ personality type here:

Portrait of an INFJ and INFJ & Relationships

INFJ Personality

INFJ: Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging

----------------------------------------

*I've stumbled upon this article which elaborates on cognitive Extraversion/Introversion, as opposed to introversion and extraversion as they are commonly understood: Typing Tutorial

[raineadey]

ooooooo you want to tell me abt uour oc sooo bad /nf

WAHJ TAHNK U THANK YOU OKAY SO. wow this is long. i divided this into three parts: backstory, main story ( crk episode 16 stuff ), and parfaedia ( what happens after the story, which actually has more in store but ill elaborate on that in another post )

BACKSTORY

once upon a time, blueberry pie cookie was looking through the wizards journals, until she came across the journal filled with the wizards trials and errors in creating moonlight cookie. it was her favorite book, the one that she read most often by the small moonlit corner.

having gone this far in her duties, blueberry pie thought a bit of company wouldnt hurt.

curiosity winning over herself, she uses the journal as a recipe book to bake her own cookie. thus, bo-berry cookie was born in the image of moonlight cookie (obviously nowhere as powerful though. shes just a cookie thats baked using the wizards recipe)

bo-berry cookie grew up between the high, never-ending bookshelves in the archives, reading anything that caught her interest to pass the time. she was like her mother in some ways — curious and hungry for knowledge.

but the library wasnt enough for her. she wanted to explore the city. though each time she asked her mother, "can i go play outside?" she would always say no.

"we have a promise to keep, a duty to uphold. there is nothing left for you in the city, bo-berry cookie."

(she also mentions those stars roaming the streets. shed turn to crumbs if any of them caught her)

ever since then, bo-berry practiced illusion magic behind her mothers back, attempting to make herself go undetected or even invisible. one day, her hard work and practice came to fruition, and she escaped the archives without her mother knowing — only to find that the city is completely empty of cookies.

she decided it was better than the archives, though. she explores the empty abandoned buildings, scavenging for any interesting magical artefacts to play with. its technically not stealing if the owner left it behind, right?

shes lonely. no one else to talk to or play with. her mother was right, this city has nothing for her. but perhaps somewhere out there..

MAIN STORY

she joins the main trio and saves them from the biggest golden star from the graveyard while invisible and undetected.

gingerbrave: that wasnt easy at ALL. huh, why do i feel like were being watched?

and as he said that, wizard cookies hat was floating in the air, followed by an air of laughter before revealing herself to her. she hasnt met anyone to interact with for a good while, so she got a liiittle excited.

her mood quickly turned sour when gingerbrave explains that theyre headed to the archives. but ahe agrees to show them the way. she told herself she wasnt going to go in, but once she sees the book worms attacking them, she groans ("i cant let you cookies pathetically crumble here on your mission 🙄") and helps them through to the library.

she knows whats coming. its inevitable that shes going to face her mom again. ( scene in this short video its like 14 secs )

once gingerbrave and co are done with what they came here for, she was about to leave with them when blueberry pie stopped her.

bbp: now, where do you think youre going? are you not staying here?

bb: mother, i cant stay here

bbp: are you leaving?

bb: [ a bit guilty ] i have to help my friends save the city

bbp: i see. [ just as bo-berry was about to leave again, ] bo-berry?

bb: [ stops ]

bbp: when i baked you, i should have known i couldn't keep you within these same walls ive been kept in my whole life. your curios soul knows no bounds, therefore i can not stop you from pursuing your life. [ quiet for a moment ] i love you, my child. i apologise for everything.

bo-berry merely gives her a smile and joins her friends outside.

another thing worth mentioning in this part is when stardust cookie destroyed the city of wizards. everyone was confused bc everything happened so fast, but upon mention of her mother still stuck in the archives, bo-berry immediately hopped on her staff and flew smartly between the falling stars to find her mother.

PARFAEDIA

after the events in the city of wizards episode, blueberry pie decided to let her daughter go. she cant keep her here for much longer, not when her place is out there in the world. so she sends her to parfaedia institute, where she can learn and grow as a magic enthusiast and a young cookie with other students her age.

she soon became friends with cream puff cookie and coffee bean cookie ( @deliberatingwthecookiecouncil's oc ! ). cream puff is an anxiety train, coffee bean is a sarcastic nerd, and bo-berry is a silly little menace. theyre perfect for each other.

such a strong desire for knowledge leads to bo-berry feeling like the structured education she receives in the institute is not enough. she craves for more magic in this world.

thus, she goes out of her dormitory at most nights to explore the magic city, knowing theres way more to this place. she uses her illusion magic to sneak in to houses, rummaging through their treasury for anything of use to her.

this soon becomes a thing she does at night, and more cookies seem to be aware of this mysterious thief. the m.e.h. department is also having trouble identifying the thief responsible for the disturbance. though, one cookie finally caught her in the act.

"hold on, you're not phantom bleu! but, no matter. i, detective walnut cookie, have caught you in the act, thief!"

[mari-lair]

☀️, for the ask game

☀️ Has anyone ever left you a comment that made your day? What did it say?

I had a few, but recently only yours come to mind! You went into so many details, and paid so much attention, it got me writing proudly like Nene with her diary.

I worked on the chapter as if I was speedrunning the day I got it, even finished that week! And i still re-read it when I need motivation. I'm determined to make the next chapter long!

And here is what the comment said:

[so, uh, i may or may not have forgotten to comment on this for half a month… well, to compensate for my lateness i’ve decided to write my thoughts on this chapter in excruciating detail because i’m actually very normal (i swear)

1. THEY SHAKED HANDS… OH MY GOD… look it may not seem like much but when you think about it hand shaking is pretty much just hand holding with extra steps, so basically they just held hands (good for them!!!)

2. aka’s relationship with mirai is. so much to me. AND DRAWING PARALLELS TO TERU AND TIARA’S RELATIONSHIP… LITERALLY RATTLING MY CAGE BARS SO HARD AT THIS!!! also them agreeing that teru’s a piece of crap is so iconic fr

3. aka offering for teru to braid his hair is so damn telling of how theyre slowly but surely getting closer and starting to trust each other a bit and i just. AAAHHDJFJFJFJFJFJFFJAJSKDKKD. THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE /POS

4. omg i remember when i was looking at one of the wips and i was like ‘wait op isn’t gonna pull a chapter 26 right…’ and i am SO GLAD that i dodged apollo’s dodgeball there because i’d probably cry if that happened

5. ‘wiggling around like a pathetic worm’ is such a Sentence™ and now it’ll be forever ingrained in my mind, i bet ten dollars i’m gonna end up quoting that like five times in a row while knowing damn well that nobody’s gonna fully understand me

6. aka’s reaction to teru being taller than him is so comically paradigmatic of their relationship like damn, i’m gonna go sit in a corner and think about that for a while gimme a few okay (and by ‘a few’ i mean the next few YEARS)

7. the part where teru ruffles aka’s hair and notices how cold it is OH MY GOD AJSKJDKDKFKF???? i think i’ll have to change that from a few years to a few decades… may or may not have led me down a rabbit hole of thoughts on aka’s lack of humanity ngl 😳😳😳 i’m like 2 seconds away from writing a small essay about it someone needs to either stop me or encourage me right now

8. ‘it was as if growing up made teru lose his survival instincts’… HEY, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN 😀 is it because he eventually falls in love with aka… i know what you are, teru 🤨📸 BUT ALSO WHAT IF IT’S SOMETHING ELSE okay i don’t know what else it could be atm but whatever it is i have a feeling it would not be good

9. tbh… i’m becoming a rita stan (i said, not even having the faintest idea of what she looks like because i can’t imagine people for the life of me) wait actually. you should draw her /nf… if you don’t do it first then i’ll just have to draw her myself ig

10. TERU CALLING AKA BY HIS NAME. TERU GETTING GENUINELY WORRIED FOR AKA. i am going to lock myself in my dryer and never come out omg i’m going to cry this is so important to me i’m never gonna dance again because of this

11. the way he’s starting to care about aka… i’m literally going to cry… god the way you write character dynamics and development is literally going to make me rip my eyes out IT’S SO GOOD AJKDDJKDKDFK. and the way he was denying it so hard too 😭😭 it’s like, he’s trying so much to convince himself that he doesn’t care about aka and i just,,, IT’S SO. YK

12. this is like. stage one: Denial™, yk. like he says and does all these things to try and distract from how he actually feels, HE OVERCOMPENSATES SO MUCH LMAO, idk how to articulate it but this is going to be the death of me, i was just waiting for him to realize just how much he cares deep down yk… actually this entire fic is just killing me to death tbh

13. AND THEN WHEN HE FINALLY ADMITS IT TO HIMSELF OH MY GOD. I’M GOING TO SLAM HIM INTO A MICROWAVE THIS LITERALLY MEANS EVERYTHING I’M USING EVERY FIBRE OF MY BEING TO NOT SCREAM AND SHOUT RN

14. and then of course he tries to pin the blame on aka, like he’s just doing everything in his power to deny his feelings lmaoo, that’s literally so in character for him… like who’s gonna tell him about friendship /j, btw this fic is stabbing me cesear-style rn

15. AND THEN THE ENDING OH MY GOD… NOW THAT’S HOW YOU END A CHAPTER FR!! i am currently going to explode with anticipation for the next chapter, i’m actually never going to shut up about this fic tbh

i don’t really know a good way to finish this small essay of a comment off, so i’ll just quote something i texted to a friend while in the middle of writing this: ‘i fink that fic may have ruined me tbh but it’s too radballs for me to go back now’. i think that adequately summarizes my thoughts on this tbh

so uh yeah!!! thanks for reading exactly 895 words of me incoherently rambling about this fic, next time i’m going to make a google slides presentation /j but seriously i love this fic so much and i can’t wait to see where it goes next!]

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2022 (#36)

36. AUSTRALIA Sheldon Riley - “Not the same” 15th place

Decade Rank: 71/79 [Above Vasil, below Undisclosed]

Out of the Tiresome Troika of Nadir, Sheldon and Marius, Sheldon’s the one that offends me the least. Which is funny to me now because I intitially loathed him the most by far. “Great, after being forced to sit through Vasil twice, we have yet another narcissistic gay with a theatre monster ballad that’s all “ME!!!! ME!!!! MYSELF!!!! MEEEEE!!!!. I don’t care who wins Aus Decides, as long as Sheldon LOSES!” -- me, dated January 2022. Then he won (thanks to Jaguar BORE-ASS Jonze), beating Voyager’s amazing entry. Let the hatrið commence!

However, “Not the same” is really just three minutes of screaming when you think about it.  Like, no shade, that’s the exact sort of entry it is. Sheldon comes on, Sheldon belts for a full three minutes, (impressing those who care about that sort of thing I guess), and that’s it. Power Vocals (and gaudy accessories) are his trademark, and once you become aware to it, it’s just really easy to block everything out as white noise.

Also, I kinda feel for Sheldon! None of that has to do with his song, but I know the situation. Bullying can leave a mark on any victim (especially if you’re also on the spectrum), so while I don’t particularly like the way Sheldon presents himself (if you’re going to wear glasses, why choose THOSE glasses?!), he’s in the phase of his life where he feels like he needs the eccentricities in order to be likeable. This is of course palpably untrue, but that’s a lesson Sheldon will learn once he starts appreciating his true self, and that process takes time, so I’m cutting him that slack there. You can have your face and unveil it too.

Don’t mistake this as to meaning that I don’t dislike “Not the same” because I very much do. “Not the same” is a fucking weaponized sob story, misguided and solipsistic. So is it a surprise that, for a song framed as woke and empathetic, it’s really bad at empathy? 

Let’s start with how the message was gradually shifted from “Sheldon is sad because he’s Gay” to “Sheldon is sad because he’s Autistic” when they figured out the latter had more of a niche at the contest. (I’m not going crazy, right? They DID change the meaning between the NF and ESC, right?! Even if they did not, doesn’t the fact that you can substitute the meaning of the message with some narrative sleight-of-hand prove that the meaning is completely unimportant?)

Across the whole line, “Not the same” suffers from issues, such as Sheldon constantly talking screaming about himself with disturbingly little regard for other individuals who might be in the same situation, or wearing an ostentatious veil that blocks off eye-contact, or ASCENDING THE STAIRCASE before the Big Reveal:

“I’ll address in the audience in a bit, but first I’ll move as far away from them as possible, while singing with my back to the camera” -- Sheldon Riley.

EVENTUALLY it transitions into “We’re not the same”, with... fifteen seconds left to spare, and that’s Too Little Too Late, babs~

Fortunately for me (and unfortunately for Sheldon) I have an example of an entry that nailed the same message from this very same NF season! I’m of course refering to Tone Sekelius.

 "My way” had its own string of issues (it’s average and poorly staged), but I really liked it. Why? because Sekelius, unlike Sheldon, immediately reached out to her audience and while she consistently refered her own struggles, she always put those in need ahead of her own problems, flippantly clapped back at her haters, and then harnessed her experiences to triumph over all the hurdles life had thrown at her, unburdened from her shackles. I’m a Melody-over-Message guy, but she served and i ate it. What it ultimately boils down to is that Tone is at peace with herself, while Sheldon is not, and that makes all the difference between becoming a beloved televote darling, and receiving two pity votes from Azerbaijan.

(And also that Happy > Sad, but you knew that ofc.)

Ps: I’m all for fashion, so whoever stitched together that Chocobo monstruosity should consider a different craft..x

THE RANKING

36. AUSTRALIA - Sheldon Riley - “Not the same” 37. SWITZERLAND - Marius Bear - “Boys do cry” 38. AZERBAIJAN - Nadir Rustamli - “Fade to black” 39. ITALY - Mahmood & Blanco - “Brividi” 40. ISRAEL - Michael Ben David - “I.M”