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graceshouldwrite · 2 years ago

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How to Write Devastating Betrayals (Pt. 2)

[FIND PT. 1 on @ grace_should_write on IG, or by scrolling through my Tumblr profile!]

Here are more elements + tips on satisfying betrayals that will destroy both your characters AND your readers! Sorry for the wait... 😅 As usual, the examples all contain spoilers!

1. How does the TRAITOR feel?

This is first because I feel it's SO so undercovered. I've definitely seen lots of tips about viscerally describing the feelings of the betrayed, but...how does the traitor feel?

Let's use the example of cheating, universally recognized as one of the biggest forms of romantic betrayal. Obviously, the person getting cheated on will probably feel devastated, but this betrayal can be made even MORE gut-wrenching if the writer explores how the cheater feels.

Maybe there's guilt that occurs before, during, and after the cheating. It might build over time, going from a small tinge to absolutely crippling shame. The cheater will probably realize what they really lost after they get caught. Maybe they reminisce on all the good times they had with their proper partner and immediately feel thrown back into reality, asking themselves how they could ever have done what they did. Maybe, after all this, it still kills them to see their partner so hurt by their actions.

Guilt is one of the most common feelings traitors have after betrayals, but a portrayal of the flip side—a ruthless, pragmatic satisfaction—can also be interesting.

One of the best historical examples I've seen of this is the life of Joseph Fouché, a French politician active from the 1789 French Revolution all the way to 1816, during the Bourbon restoration. For reference, that's a crazy long period of time for any politician to hold so much (albeit behind the stage) power.

Aside from being a master at political scheming and intrigue plots, he was known as a "chameleon"—able to seamlessly and shamelessly shift his loyalties. He never really committed to a single group or person, always joining a group as soon as it became, or had the potential to become, influential, and leaving it (often actively working against it) as soon as the group was projected to lose power.

One of the biggest manifestations of this is the juxtaposition of his own childhood to his adulthood—he was raised and educated in the Church and even taught in a Catholic institution for a while during his young adulthood. He never harboured any sort of hatred against the Church.

Then, when the French Revolution rolled around and religion was seen as highly unpopular and ultra-traditional, he was one of the most enthusiastic church ransackers and dechristianizers. He wanted to "[abandon] the role of religion in society altogether" just one year after he'd advocated for "the role of the [Church] in education." He pulled this sort of turncoat trick on group after group, even including Napoleon.

While guilt is generally recognized as emotionally effective, the LACK of guilt in a traitor is a super underrated tool. Often, a lack of guilt can be even more surprising and jarring to the reader, eliciting not only sadness, but anger, or just pure shock at how depraved humans can be. If the context doesn't really call for those emotions, at least this type of betrayal will be quite memorable.

KEY POINT: If it's something 100% morally reprehensible, e.g. cheating in a safe relationship, a parent selling a child for money, a friend betraying another purely for power, etc., NEVER justify the traitor's actions.

Showing the side of the traitor doesn't exonerate them; it just allows the reader to get hit with the full complexity of both parties' emotions. Twice the turmoil!

Of course, in more morally complex cases, you could choose to mainly explore the traitor's actions and motivations. For example, Brutus betrayed his friend Julius Caesar because he thought Caesar was becoming a tyrant who would take away democracy from the Roman Republic.

Here, Brutus' betrayal could be condemned if you purely look at it as "a friend betraying a friend." However, it could also be justified if you see it more as "a person sacrificing a personal relationship for the greater good of a nation."

2. How does the BETRAYED feel?

This point is definitely covered more than the previous one, so it will be shorter. However, here are a few other ideas of how the betrayed character can feel/react instead of the typically seen, angry "WHAT THE HECK? No way! How dare you?!"

they had suspicions very early on, and the betrayal doesn't shock them as much as it confirms their beliefs -> emotions like sadness, disappointment, and generally less aggressive forms of resentment will probably come out. (e.g. I can't remember where I've seen this but I have lol...but have a meta example. Think of when YOU see a character with major betrayal flags actually betray! Isn't that feeling just...more quiet resentment than fury? Now, think of how a character would feel)

they are understanding. Even if they're surprised, they can see why the betrayed chose to do what they did and aren't as resentful as they are compassionate. (e.g. Il-nam when Gi-hun betrays him in the show Squid Game)

they accept it. Although similar, this is still different from "understanding" because the betrayed character doesn't necessarily sympathize with the traitor; they just acknowledge that they're powerless to do anything at the moment, and they won't waste any energy getting angry. (e.g. Jesus when Judas betrays him)

quiet horror. No room for aggressive resentment, just that slowly dawning feeling of fear or hurt when they realize it happened. (e.g. Lydia Rodarte-Quayle when Walter White betrays her at the very end of the show Breaking Bad)

A diverse range of reactions can help your reader be more emotionally receptive. Seeing the same type of reaction to fictional betrayals can be quite numbing—these less commonly used ideas can feel more like cutting open a fresh wound, instead of rubbing salt in an existing one, if you get what I mean...

3. Aftermath of the betrayal

I RARELY see this covered at all, so I'll slip this in here: Betrayal is MORE than just the moment, even more than the foreshadowing in events leading up to it.

One of the most important parts of betrayal is the aftermath. The key question to ask yourself is: what is left behind?

What is lost? What is left? Most importantly, WHAT HAS CHANGED?

Now's your chance to imply, or even show, how the betrayed person/people/party will recover. Will they do it healthily, or destructively? What does this mean for the future of their relationships (existing or potential), endeavours (are plans ruined or improved?), self-image, and anything else important?

For example, lots of characters go on their angsty, "I'll never open up to anyone ever again and I'll brood forever" arc after a betrayal. Still, others try to process the betrayal as it tanks their self-worth. Of course, there are characters who process their betrayal through healthier coping mechanisms. They might choose to continue trusting and being open in the future.

For bigger parties, it can be even more complicated. Was the traitor an important person in an organization? Will the organization collapse without them, or will it thrive because they were only in it because of non-skill-related reasons? How did other people in the organization see them? So many options!

The aftermath can amplify feelings of anger, sadness, emptiness, or anything else your readers feel after your betrayal. It also allows for a more satisfying story conclusion (if that's what you're going for). It will even help your readers be even MORE invested in your characters because a betrayal is another big milestone that they've now experienced along with your characters.

∘₊✧────── ☾☼☽ ──────✧₊∘

instagram: @ grace_should_write

WHEW! Took a while before I finally fished this one out of my drafts and continued it. I love LOVE media and historical analysis in general, so I hope the length of this post is kinda complemented by the information I tried to provide.

I hope everyone's doing well! I'm super excited for a grad trip to ITALY NEXT WEEK!!!! As such, I might miss a post over that weekend, but stay tuned for more posts that week before then! Thank you all so much for engaging with my posts, it means the world ❤️

Hope this was helpful, and let me know if you have any questions by commenting, re-blogging, or DMing me on IG. Any and all engagement is appreciated :)

Happy writing, and have a great day!

- grace <3

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marbleheavy · 4 years ago

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Thoughts about Catholic Nico because... idk always on the mind ig

He was raised Catholic and even though he doesn’t really remember his childhood or the Church, he remembers how he felt in church with his mom and sister, he can hear the timbre of his mom’s voice reading bible verses sometimes, and he remembers stained glass windows and candles

He can recite Our Father like it's his name (hi, I'm Nico di Angelo. Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name...) and doing the sign of the cross is as easy as waving at someone

And he definitely remembers the unexplained sense of shame and guilt he felt when he realized he was gay

Feeling that type of burden and self-hatred without really knowing why is a huge reason Nico struggles so hard with self-acceptance and trusting others

Over time, especially after he actually stays at Camp Half Blood, he actually realizes he was raised in the catholic church, but specifically Roman Catholic in Venice in the 1930’s

The internalized homophobia and Catholic Guilt that follows that is a lot and it’s so hard for him to deal with any of it because he doesn’t fucking remember it

He feels the shame and the guilt, like the knowledge is ingrained in him, but the few memories that he does have are good

The Church implanted in the deepest parts of Nico's psyche is also where he best remembers his mother

And it’s incredibly difficult to reconcile that the few memories he has of his mother and his childhood are also the source of so much trauma

How can the warmth and love he feels whenever he gets a flash of his mother in church be connected to the bitter, cold shame and emptiness he feels so often?

He doesn’t know how to talk about it either because How can he explain that a religion he doesn’t even remember traumatized him?

But Will kinda gets it (because he was raised in the Baptist south) and he tries to show Nico that the church Nico is terrified of isn’t the same and that he can be Catholic and gay (and the son of a Greek god) if that’s what he wants because the point of religion is comfort

And comfort is the best way Nico can describe his memories of his mother

so Nico is Catholic and gay and the son of Hades

He still has a lot to work on as far as religious trauma on top of the rest of everything else

but maybe the guilt he feels isn’t as bitter anymore and maybe he can remember the way his mom held his hand during mass instead of how uncomfortable the pews were and maybe Catholicism can be whatever Nico wants it to be

#catholic nico #nico di angelo #nico di angelo headcanon #will solace #religious trauma #reconciling catholic guilt and being gay and the son of a greek god #nico di angelo deserves the world #solangelo #cw: internalized homophobia

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babysizedfics · 5 years ago

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Virgil moves and talks so quietly that no one hears him (and he hates it)

virgil is naturaly very gentle in pretty much everything he does. he moves so quietly around the house because he wears socks and always walks on his tiptoes (which is an autistic trait) and he also speaks so softly hardly above a whisper unless he's laughing or yelling that he always scares people who didnt know he was right behind them.

and it sort of upsets vee. not so much that he moves silently but doesnt like that he accidentally scares people and he really doesnt like that people can't hear him when he speaks - when he was first created as a four year old he was completely mute and it took at least a year for him to finally learn to speak at five years old and even then he was still selectively mute and only semi verbal otherwise.

so he's had to deal with not being able to communicate his needs effectively a lot. he still goes mute sometimes if he is overwhelmed and when he is regressed he is semi verbal. so he feels sensitive about the fact that even when he finally CAN communicate with words most of the time, he feels like he can't do it right because he cant force himself to speak loud enough.

LOGAN

like one morning logan will be waiting for the coffee machine to fill his mug and virgil will come into the kitchen and say 'good morning.' when logan doesnt respond virgil gets nervous that maybe he did something wrong and his mama is angry with him

so he doesnt try to speak again just in case it would annoy logan and he moves around silently on his toes getting breakfast

it isnt until logan hears the fridge door open and close that he looks back and his eyes fall on vee. virgil freezes a little but logan smiles softly at him. 'good morning virgil. when did you get here?'

'uh a couple minutes ago'

'oh my apologies, i didnt hear you come in' then logan turns back to his coffee and picks up his mug.

'i said good morning' vee whispers, worried that it would sound like complaining. but logan doesnt even hear him say it so vee gives up on talking and just sits next to logan for breakfast in comfortable silence (thats underlaid by shame on his part)

PATTON AND ROMAN STORIES ARE BELOW THE CUT BC THIS GOT LONG

PATTON

patton will be doing the dishes and humming and virgil will tiptoe in and say 'hi dad' but patton doesnt hear it over the running water and keeps washing up. virgil fidgets a bit on the spot, anxious that it feels like he's eavesdropping on patton even though he isn't trying to at all

he tries a couple more times to say hi to his dad when theres less noise coming from the plates in the sink but still theres no response. so he tries to speak louder 'um dad, im behind you'

and for him it was louder than usual but for other people its more like a slightly quiet soft voice... so patton doesnt hear him still, even when he turns off the water and dries his hands.

virgils heart hammers in his chest because patton is gonna turn around and think virgil was spying on him even though virgil tried to speak to him a few times by this point. 'please dont jump' virgil whispers desperately, knowing that he's essentially talking to himself now

and of course when patton finally turns around he does jump and he yelps loudly at seeing virgil and even though virgil expected it it startles him and he flinches and his eyes immediately water (he gets really annoyed by how easily he cries sometimes)

patton sees it and quickly calms down and goes over to pull him into a hug 'oh im sorry honey, i didnt hear you come in. did i scare you?'

virgil tries to breath evenly to stop his chest from shaking when he speaks. 'i - um i tried to talk to you... a few times' virgil mumbles into his shoulder

and patton smiles a little because he's kind of soft for how gentle virgil is all over including his voice and he apologises again and kisses virgils head and they move on.

it helps virgil not feel so bad about it when it happens with pstton because he always holds him and kisses his head in apology, plus patton finds his quiet voice endearing and at least thats a positive because virgil gets fawned over by his dad a bit

ROMAN

but the worst is when it happens with roman.

roman will be in his room singing while he works on some artwork. not even that loud, just singing softly as he concentrates on his paintbrush. virgil was feeling lonely and bored and kind of jittery and anxious for no reason in his room and usually roman lets him watch when he's doing art and it calms virgils anxiety and is fun to just sit there in silence in romans company.

so he knocks on romans door gently and peeks his head in. roman is faced away from him at his easel on the other side of the room still singing under his breath a little. virgil tiptoes into the room and calls 'roman? can i watch?'

theres no response so virgil takes a deep breath and tries to speak out 'ro? is it ok if i come in?' and he thought it was loud but clearly not because roman isnt even singing at full volume and he still doesnt react to him at all.

virgil actually feels that familiar anxious swirling of dread in his tummy now. he hates not being heard when he does want to speak and he hates that it always shocks someone and that they must think he's sneaking around on purpose.

he starts clawing and pulling at the hem of his skirt and tiptoes closer, only a few feet behind roman now. he tugs his sweater sleeves down and bites his lip. roman still doesnt notice him. virgil takes a shaky breath 'roman, please' and it was actually quieter because hes so nervous now of what will happen when roman hears him and sees he has come in without permission... he hates this.

roman still doesnt show any sign of knowing virgil is there... so virgil tentatively reaches up - his hand shaking - to poke romans shoulder with one finger. 'ro?' he whispers, hating that his voice trembles

roman screams and immediately jumps and spins around. 'dear f*cking zeus! Virgil what the f*ck!' he yells, eyes wide and almost angry

and virgil can't help it. the yelling shocked him so much and roman is so much bigger and towering over him and he looks angry and now vee is shaking and his vision is blurry with tears.

roman instantly backs down, the shock on his face melting to sympathy. 'ah sh*t, i'm sorry vee...' and he puts his palette and brush down and gently places his hands on virgils arms in an attempt to comfort him 'i didnt mean to yell, im sorry.' he says gently, rubbing his hands over virgils arms 'why didnt you tell me you were here, titch?'

'i d-did!' virgil cries, his voice thick with tears 'i tri-ied to - to talk and you didn't h-h--' he cuts himself off with a strangled cry. he's just as shocked as roman by how hard he's crying

roman feels awful and immediately pulls vee into a tight hug 'no no its okay vee, shh. im really sorry i didnt hear you'

vee just sniffles into romans chest and wraps his fingers in romans sweatshirt tightly. a cry comes out thats more like a little squeak and without realising it his thumb slips into his mouth

roman pulls back from the hug to see his little brother sucking his thumb. sometimes virgil sucks his thumb as an adult for comfort so he has to check 'vee, are you feeling tiny?'

vee doesnt really understand the question and tugs at romans sweatshirt and whines, looking up at him with wet pleading eyes

and roman feels his heart break a little. he feels so guilty that he apparently scared virgil into his regression.

'okay baby, here we go' he leans down to wrap his arms around virgils back and under his thighs and hoists virgil onto his hip. then he sighs 'let's go find your papa to change you'

'bipa?' vee squeaks through his remaining tears. he sniffles again and roman feels guilt wash over him again

'yeah, clever baby, papa's gonna get you a diaper' he whispers and wipes his thumb under vees eye to catch another falling tear

vee whimpers quietly and buries his face on romans shoulder so roman takes it as a prompt to start moving and carrying virgil out of his room to find patton

roman really would have liked for adult virgil to watch him paint but he thinks its all his fault for yelling that vee regressed from fear. so he decides painting can wait, he wants to make it up to his brother with lots of cuddes and playing games to make the baby giggle for the rest of the day

#do u know what time it is??#projection o clock babey!!!!#little/big concepts #little virgil #agere virgil #cg logan #cg patton #ts agere #sanders sides agere #swearing tw

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dothwrites · 5 years ago

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2020 Writing in Review

Well, it’s been a shitshow of a year, ain’t it? The one bright spot in this year was that it left me a ton of time for writing! With no further ado, here are the fics I worked on the year of our lord, 2020.

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the blood which we drew | Rated: M | Word Count: 7335 | COMPLETE

Castiel bears the Mark. And for a few months, it's fine.

It's fine until it isn't.

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ramble on | Rated: E | Word Count: 26,875 | WIP

A series of Season 15 codas, crossposted to tumblr. Tags, Warnings, and Rating may change, based on source material.

(Technically started this in 2019, but I added to it this year, so I’m counting it)

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protect and serve | Rated: E | Word Count: 49,953 | COMPLETE

Police officer Dean Winchester's next assignment seems easy enough: a protection detail on Assistant District Attorney Castiel Novak, who's been receiving death threats in conjunction with the case that he's prosecuting. Dean's assignment is to keep ADA Novak safe, alive, and in one piece so that he can start his trial against Dick Roman, notorious CEO charged with the death of at least eight people.

With threats that quickly spin out of control, a missing teenage genius, Dean's attraction to Novak, and Novak's mercurial attitude towards Dean--Dean Winchester's next assignment is anything but easy.

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what stays (and what fades away) | Rated: E | Word Count: 64,421 | COMPLETE

Cas Novak’s life is perfect. He has a job that he loves and friends who support him. Most importantly, he has his husband, Dean Winchester, and his two adopted children, Claire and Jack. With them, nothing could ever go wrong.

That is, until he starts having flashes of a life that isn’t his and meets someone who shares his husband’s face but not his personality, someone who insists that he’s someone, something, different altogether. Cas’ life shatters when he’s dragged into a world that he doesn’t belong to and doesn’t understand.

Dean Winchester’s life was already shattered when he lost Castiel.

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thunder road | Rated: E | Word Count: 20,883 | COMPLETE

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

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alone together | Rated: E | Word Count: 74, 239 | COMPLETE

Like the rest of the world, Dean Winchester’s job sent him home with the supplies necessary to work from home and a vague farewell of “We’ll see you when this all blows over”. Unlike the rest of the world, Dean Winchester is entering into a quarantine with Castiel Novak, his incredibly hot and incredibly uninterested roommate. How is Dean supposed to concentrate on his job while Cas is just a few feet away, being...well, Cas?

Castiel Novak was already working from home, so the news of social distancing doesn’t affect him that much. What does send him into a panic is the knowledge that Dean Winchester, his stunning and straight roommate, will also be working from home for the foreseeable future. After spending so long trying to distance himself from Dean, Castiel now has to face a future where Dean is present. All. The. Time.

They’ve got food, Internet, and all the toilet paper they need, but neither one of them is prepared for quarantine.

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for a sinner released | Rated: E | Word Count: 8,800 | COMPLETE

Testing his theory, he runs his fingers over the soft skin of Dean’s wrist, until his thumb is pressed firmly against Dean’s hammering pulse. Cas pulls, gently but inexorably, until Dean is forced to take a step forward. The shift in positioning pushes the barrel of the gun into his forehead.

Cold metal touches overheated skin, and Cas inhales sharply at the contrasting sensations. The gun is unforgiving, relentless, beautiful.

It’s like Dean.

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and all this devotion | Rated: M | Word Count: 10,572 | COMPLETE

Dean’s not stupid. He’s seen the looks Cas has aimed his way, when Cas thought he wasn’t paying attention. He’s leveled his share of looks back at Cas when the angel’s attention was elsewhere. More than once, he’s been caught in the act. At this point, they’re both dancing around the same elephant, too scared and caught in their ways to make the first move.

OR: Dean gets hurt on a hunt. Cas takes care of him. There's only one bed. Confessions ensue.

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lost in translation | Rated: T | Word Count: 3,720 | COMPLETE

Cas bites at his lower lip, looking uncommonly shy. Worry starts to stir in Dean’s gut, which is only compounded when Cas says something else in soft yet clear Enochian. As the new phrase doesn’t have the word stupid anywhere in it, Dean doesn’t have the slightest idea of what Cas is saying. The guilt squirming in his stomach gets worse when Cas looks at him, with gentle anticipation, as though he’s expecting a reply. Dean does what humans have been doing since the beginning of time when confronted with a language they don’t understand and smiles, wide and sunny, at Cas. Cas’ forehead creases but he returns the gesture. His eyes are still brimming over with emotion and the sight does something to Dean.

Dean begins to suspect that he may have started something which he is not equipped to finish.

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a new song about a new life | Rated: E | Word Count: 21,282 | WIP

There is no happily ever after. Mostly because there is no after. Life is just a series of days and nothing ever really ends. It just continues on, even after the curtain closes, and while the struggles might not be epic, they're no less impressive. Domestic life isn't without its pitfalls and trials, but at the end of the day, Dean and Cas still have each other and in the end, that's enough.

A series of timestamps detailing the small adventures of Dean and Castiel. Will contain teensy amounts of angst and a heap of fluff and domesticity.

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angel in black | Rated: E | Word Count: 95,325 | COMPLETE

Bounty hunter Castiel Novak has simple rules for how he conducts his business. Get in, get out, deliver the fugitive, and do it all with the least amount of effort possible. Never become emotionally involved.

When he takes on the job of hunting down Sam and Dean Winchester in order to bring them to justice, his rules start shifting. Threatened by supernatural forces as well as his attraction to Dean, Castiel soon has to decide what he’s willing to stand for…and what he’s willing to die for.

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ghosts that we knew | Rated: E | Word Count: 89,411 | COMPLETE

Dean can’t help it. Castiel’s laugh is infectious, washing over him and sweeping him up in its tide. His throat and stomach ache with the feel of it, unfamiliar muscles worked past their endurance. He hasn’t laughed like this in weeks, maybe years.

Cas doesn’t stop laughing, and Dean relishes it. It’s such a good sound, deep and throaty. It rumbles over him the same way that Baby’s engine purrs, to where he can almost feel it in his gut. Dean’s giddy, the kind of happy that hunters don’t get to feel, and if it weren’t for the ceiling, he thinks he might float away. Cas’ eyes crinkle when he laughs, and his smile goes wide and gummy. He’s so brilliant, so alive—

But you’re dead, Dean thinks helplessly. But you’re dead.

---

Castiel Novak is one of the best hunters Dean Winchester has ever worked with. He's witty, whip-smart, and has enough knowledge about the supernatural to rival an encyclopedia. He's got humor dry enough to put the Sahara to shame and he's pretty easy on the eyes as well. All in all, he's the best partner Dean could have hoped for.

Too bad he's dead.

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the best of things | Rated: G | Word Count: 2,494 | COMPLETE

There’s something.

This is significant because, for as long as Castiel can remember, there’s been nothing. --- Castiel finds a way out of the Empty.

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freedom | Rated: G | Word Count: 4,804 | COMPLETE

Freedom.

Dean rolls the word around on the tip of his tongue and tastes how it feels. Freedom.

It’s a strange concept, especially since he always assumed that he was. Ever since Apocalypse Version 1.0 was averted, Michael and Lucifer locked in the cage, thanks very much, he’s always assumed that he was the one calling the shots. No matter how badly he fucked up (and he fucked up a lot), he could at least take comfort in the fact that those were his choices. No one’s hand up Dean Winchester’s ass, no siree.

And then Chuck came and ripped that certainty away from him in one quick motion and then...everything was suspect. Sam, Mom, Jack...Cas. Every word, every action, every emotion... He couldn’t trust anything, so he trusted nothing.

--- OR: Dean makes a choice.

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at the end of the world | Rated: G | Word Count: 4,631 | COMPLETE

Rebuilding Heaven is slow work, but time doesn’t really mean anything here. It’s delicate to rebuild the walls separating billions of souls so that nothing collapses. Castiel works alongside Jack, making suggestions as his mind trips along to potential problems.

Though it’s never said aloud, Castiel knows why Jack is working tirelessly. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, the knowledge sits that Sam and Dean are going to die. One day, they will pass from the earth, and come to Heaven, and on that day, Castiel wants everything to be perfect for them. He wants to show them a true paradise, a place without walls or barriers, a place where emotion is genuine and not just a manufactured memory. Rebuilding Heaven is his last chore, the last of his penance to be performed.

--- OR: Team Free Will gets the soft epilogue which they deserve.

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let your heart be light | Rated: M | Word Count: 31,651 | WIP

It's Dean and Cas' first official Christmas together as a couple. What could possibly go wrong?

Just Cas' weird family, his own personal hang-ups about Christmas, Dean's persistent belief that the miracle of Christmas can heal all wounds, and meddling friends and family.

Have a Merry Christmas.

#dothwrites #long post #2020 masterlist #i did not realize how long this was #good lord me #i'm a long-winded little SOB

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airiervessel · 5 years ago

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When One Stops The Kiss To Whisper “I’m Sorry, Are You Sure You-” And They Answer By Kissing Them More with logince?

also combining this with an anon’s request of 57 and logince! // prompts are open! (list)

67. When one stops the kiss to whisper “i’m sorry, are you sure you-” and they answer by kissing them more 57. Breaking the kiss to say something, staying so close that they’re murmuring into each other’s mouths

Word Count: 2241 Pairing: Logince Content: high school au (i’m imagining them as juniors or seniors? so they’re both 17 or 18), childhood best friends, asexual logan, so much pining, healthy discussions of feelings

Logan and Roman are best friends. Logan always acts awkward around their friends who are couples, and he has an asexual pride patch on his favorite jacket, alongside the various NASA and other nerdy patches he has all over it -- many of which Roman helped him sew on. Once, a couple of years ago, during a sleepover when they were staying up late talking about everything, he told Roman that he didn’t think he could ever see himself in a committed relationship. He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to do it.

Logan and Roman are best friends. Logan isn’t interested in dating. Neither of these facts stopped Roman from falling head over heels in love with him.

He reminds himself every time he finds himself staring at Logan’s face, every time he realizes his heart is nearly beating out of his chest whenever Logan laughs. He pinches himself in the thigh when he feels Logan’s shoulder brush his, or when Logan’s hand passes over his as he reaches for a certain book or pen. He acts as normal as he can, flopping down dramatically onto the sofa next to Logan and throwing his legs over his lap like his stomach isn’t full of butterflies, and tries to ignore the way Logan’s fond eye roll and careful adjustment around Roman brings warmth to Roman’s cheeks.

Everything Logan does makes Roman’s heart sing, and he wants nothing more than to confess his feelings because this is the one thing Logan doesn’t know about him, the one secret he’s ever kept from his best friend.

They promised, once, at Logan’s ninth birthday party, never to keep secrets from each other again. Roman had helped Logan’s parents and brother plan a surprise party for him, and he had been so excited to see Logan’s face, to see his reaction when he walked in his house after school to find everyone gathered there, ready to celebrate with him. But Logan had been scared by the noise and the number of people and had run off to their treehouse in a panic, and Roman had followed him and helped calm him down from his first-ever panic attack.

After, when Logan was sniffling into Roman’s shoulder, he asked Roman to always warn him about parties in the future. “I can act surprised,” he whispers, his voice thick from the tears. “But you know I need to prepare to spend time around a bunch of people.”

Roman had pulled back and offered his pinky, his expression serious. “I promise to never keep a secret from you again, Logan,” he said, and Logan smiled and hooked their pinkies together.

“I promise too,” he replied, his expression so trusting and open, even after Roman’s surprise had hurt him so much.

Thinking about that exchange now makes Roman roll onto his back in his bed with a dramatic groan, covering his face with a pillow. Guilt burns in his stomach -- they’d promised never to keep secrets from each other, and here he is, two months after realizing he has romantic feelings for Logan, and he’s kept it to himself. He hasn’t told anyone, not his parents, not his other friends, not even his cat. The first person to learn important things about Roman has always been Logan, and it makes the guilt boiling in his gut even worse to think about sharing this secret with anyone besides his best friend.

He rolls onto his side, tugging the pillow down off his face and frowning at his stuffed Winnie the Pooh on the other side of his bed. He has to tell Logan. He can’t keep going like this -- the guilt is already eating him up inside. It rises like bile along with the butterflies that appear every time he looks at Logan, the confession burning at the back of his throat before he clamps down and swallows it back.

Roman is terrified of ruining what they have, of losing his best friend. But he can’t keep breaking their promise, either.

---------

His resolution to confess to Logan turns out to be much easier said than done, as so many things are. He comes close several times over the next week, when they’re at lunch in their favorite spot in the courtyard, when they’re hanging out in Logan’s room studying, when they’re leaving math class and Logan laughs at something Roman says. Several times a day, the words burn his mouth, but his tongue feels like it’s glued to the roof of his mouth, and his vocal chords feel as though they’re tied into knots in his throat, and he can never say it.

It’s Friday evening, over a week after Roman’s decision to come clean about his feelings, and still he hasn’t done it. He and Logan are in his bedroom, Logan reading a chapter in their history textbook aloud as Roman works on his current cross-stitching project. He focuses on the needle in his hands, on poking it through the fabric over and over again, the mostly-mindless work with his hands and eyes helping him process the information Logan’s lovely voice is reading.

Logan stops, apparently having come to the end of the section, and Roman smiles even as he doesn’t look away from his stitching. “Alexander the Great sounds pretty awesome,” he says. “He actually listened to his men when they said they were ready to go home. That’s a pretty good leader, if you ask me.”

Logan usually argues with him on points like this, usually brings up some horrible thing the person did or the stupid way they died to counter Roman’s point, but he’s silent this time. Roman knows he’s not entirely right, knows Logan must have some kind of argument to make, so he looks up, turning his head to look at his best friend, tilting his head to the side in concern. “What’s up, Sir Nerds-a-Lot? You don’t usually let me admire historical figures without bringing up their flaws. Is anything wrong?”

Logan opens his mouth, then closes it, his eyebrows furrowed. Roman lowers his stitching to the bed and turns to face him fully, really concerned now. It’s rare that Logan is at a complete loss for words, and Roman is already running through the events of the afternoon, trying to find something that could have upset Logan.

“Specs? Are you-” he begins, but he’s cut off by a mouth on his -- by Logan’s mouth on his. Logan is kissing him.

Roman is so shocked he can’t even respond, his eyes wide open as his hands flutter uncertain over Logan’s shoulders. He can see one of Logan’s eyes squeezed shut, and just when Roman is about to melt into the kiss, Logan pulls away, already rambling. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that without asking, I-” but Roman cuts him off as well, taking Logan’s face gingerly in his hands and capturing his lips in another kiss.

And oh, is it amazing. He always wondered if the books were exaggerating when they described fireworks, but it really is like fireworks are going off in his chest, like bright spots of color are dancing behind his eyelids, like he’s never done and will never do anything as wonderful and amazing as kiss Logan Sanders. Logan’s arms wrap around his neck, his hands wrapping into Roman’s hair, and he hums into the kiss, feeling Logan shudder in response.

He finally pulls back slightly, though hardly puts any space between them, his lips still brushing Logan’s as he whispers into the small space between them. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time now,” he breathes, and his stomach does a flip when Logan chuckles quietly in response. He presses another kiss to Logan’s lips, and the other returns it for a moment before pulling back, further this time, and stroking his hand through Roman’s hair as he meets his eyes.

“Why didn’t you?” He asks, his expression open and so clearly happy that Roman has to look away, his eyes drifting to the side as something that feels suspiciously like shame crawls up his back, settling on his shoulders like a lead weight.

Logan’s thumb traces back and forth over his cheekbone, though, and he brings one of his own hands up to cover Logan’s closing his eyes and smiling slightly at the sensation. “I thought….you have the ace pin. You told me that one time that you didn’t think you could ever be in a relationship. I thought you weren’t interested.” He turns his head slightly, pressing a feather-light kiss to Logan’s palm before opening his eyes, his lips still brushing Logan’s skin as he continues. “I didn’t want to ruin anything. I didn’t want to lose you.”

Now it’s Logan’s turn to look away, looking sheepish. “When I said that….” he clears his throat, and Roman squeezes his shoulder where his free hand is resting on it. Logan looks back at him and smiles, seeming encouraged. “I didn’t mean that I did not want a relationship. I have, in fact, wanted one very badly for several years. With you, specifically.”

Roman lets out a gasp at that, tightening his grip on Logan’s hand. “Lo…” he breathes, amazed that Logan’s felt that way about him for so long.

(Then again, Logan has always been a genius, has always picked up on things faster than Roman, or anyone else, for that matter.)

Logan strokes his thumb over Roman’s cheekbone again, looking amazed that he’s being allowed to do it. “When I said that, I was actually speaking of my belief of my own inability to properly perform in a relationship. Being in a relationship with someone...it requires a great deal of emotional intelligence, which we both know that I do not possess. And…” he trails off again, looking away and pulling his hands away from Roman, who ardently wishes he would do anything but that.

“And as you said, I am asexual. I would be….unable to. Perform. In that capacity. If we were to date.” Logan looks at his lap, clasping his hands together there and looking as if he’s about to cry.

“Logan,” Roman chokes out, leaning forward and taking Logan’s face in his hands once again, tilting it up gently and stroking it with his thumbs as Logan just did for him. “Logan, I-” his voice breaks, and he leans his forehead against Logan’s, feeling the other’s hands resting lightly on his waist as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to sift through the roiling emotions in his chest.

After a moment, he opens his eyes to meet Logan’s, one of his hands moving to brush his hair back, cradling his head as he leans back slightly, just enough so he doesn’t have to go cross-eyed to maintain eye contact.

“I love you,” he says finally, his voice and heart barreling forward even as his mind struggles to catch up, as usual. “I love you just as you are, and all that you are. I would never-” his voice breaks again here, and he shakes his head, stroking Logan’s hair back again. “I would never make you do anything, anything, that you’re not comfortable with,” he finishes in a whisper. “I would love to be with you in any way that you’ll have me, whether it’s as a best friend, or a boyfriend, or a partner, or...or if you want to--to never see me again, that’s okay too,” his voice cracks once again, and this time tears spill out of his eyes and down his cheeks.

Logan’s hands fly up to wipe them away, and his head is already shaking in Roman’s gentle grip. “No, no, no, I--of course I want to see you again, you idiot, you’re my...you’re my Roman.”

Roman can’t help but laugh wetly at that, and Logan surges up to kiss him again, and they fall silent for a few moments. When they pull back, Logan resumes wiping at Roman’s face, his expression soft. “I love you too,” he whispers. “And I’m yours. In any way you’ll have me.”

Roman laughs and kisses him again, pecking him three, four, five times on the lips, then all over his face, drawing giggles out of Logan as Roman moved down to blow a raspberry on his neck.

Later, they’ll order a pizza for dinner, and sit on Roman’s bed eating it and talking about everything they’ve always talked about, and everything they’ve never talked about. They’ll discuss their own boundaries, and who they want to tell about the relationship, and who’s going to plan their first date. Roman will joke about celebrating anniversaries weekly, and will immediately resolve to do it when he sees how the idea makes Logan blush.

Later, Roman’s parents will come home and find Logan there much later than usual, and they’ll see how the two of them smile at each other and know that they finally worked things out.

Later, they’ll fall asleep with Big Hero 6 playing in the background, snuggled close together under Roman’s comforter.

But that’s all for later. For now they laugh, and kiss, and tickle each other, and bask in the glow of the new step of their relationship.

Logan and Roman are best friends. They both spent a long time believing their feelings for each other are unrequited, that saying something would ruin their relationship forever. They were both wrong.

#logince #sanders sides #logan sanders #roman sanders #i think i'm most proud of this one so far tbh #ellie writes #fics #this one is more than twice the length of the other ones #but it's also two prompts so oh well i guess

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mamacesawrites · 5 years ago

Text

Voicemails

“I just want to stop feeling.”

Word Count:1978

Warnings: crying, ask me to add more if needed

Roman made sure his living room looked perfect. There was fresh popcorn popped, sodas chilling in the fridge, candy prepped, the blankets were laid out among the fluffy pillows, and he had laid out two onesies. He hoped the one he got for his friend fit correctly.

He took a selfie with the perfect movie night setup in the background. He decided to wait until he had all of the pictures from the night before posting any. Perhaps that was his hopes for a successful night welling up in him.

Grinning in satisfaction, he waited patiently for his friend to confirm he was on his way. He changed into his onesie while he waited. Practically bouncing in anticipation, he decided to sing to himself while he waited. When he was bored of that, he scrolled through Instagram, liking photos and commenting compliments on each one he could. When that got boring, he checked out his fridge. He decided to try to call when it was a half an hour past their agreed start time.

His heart sank as he got voicemail, “Hey, It’s Virge. Leave a message, or don’t. If I didn’t answer just text me.”

Beep

“Hey, Stormy, it’s Roman. I thought we were on for movie night? I got everything set up, and it’s half an hour past our agreed start time. Just let me know if you forgot or decided to cancel on me. Well, um. Just update me please. Love you.”

He hung up, then took a second to realize that he had accidentally said “Love you” on the phone. It was out of habit, and he started to panic but put it out of his mind completely. People slipped up like that all the time.

He paced around his living room, checking the time on the clock, his watch, and his phone so he knew the time wasn’t off. When he reached an hour with no word, he called again.

This time it only rang once. “Hey, It’s Virge. Leave a message, or don’t. If I didn’t answer just text me.”

But I tried and you still didn’t.

Beep

“Hi. Sorry to leave another message, but I just-I just, um, I’m starting to get worried, haha,” he chuckled nervously, “Well, I suppose you are busy and forgot to tell me we had to cancel. It’s cool I guess…” Roman paused, wondering what else to say. He hated voicemail. “Also ignore what I said on the previous message near the end. It was out of habit.”

He hung up, then realized that he implied that it was a habit for him to say he loved Virge. He slapped his hand against his face and let out a deep sigh. This was not what he had planned for. He slumped back onto the couch in sadness. The others had called off movie night, and when Roman had planned on canceling it was Virgil who insisted on doing it still.

Then he bailed.

When it reached two hours Roman had enough. He tried to call, this time it rang all the way through until he reached voicemail. Unsurprised, Roman decided to continue.

“Hey, It’s Virge. Leave a message, or don’t. If I didn’t answer just text me.”

Beep

“Look, you know you don’t have to be scared about telling me no. You better either be dead or busy or sleeping because you were the one who wanted this, not me!” Roman felt the tears coming on. He decided if he couldn’t do it in person, voicemail would have to do.

“I made everything perfect for you. I got your favorite candy, your favorite soda, and popped more popcorn than I have for anyone. I-I got you a freaking onesie!” he paused, trying to avoid losing it and sobbing into the receiver. He strolled into the kitchen, the sight of his efforts in the room making him hurt too much. “I just want to stop feeling. I want to stop feeling for you.”

“Never mind the second message’s disregard for the first. I-” he sank to the cool tiled floor. Dressed in a onesie. He felt pathetic as he admitted to himself and the voice mailbox, “I think I do love you.”

He had not seen the headlights through the living room window. He hadn’t heard his front door open and close. He had been so wrapped up in his feelings and thoughts that he didn’t hear the footsteps of combat boots move from the carpet to the tile.

“Roman? Did you mean that?” a familiar deep voice asked softly.

Roman looked into the doorway to the kitchen. Virgil was standing there, with his eyes widened bigger than Roman thought possible. He looked like a raccoon who just got caught sneaking into someone’s house.

Roman was so happy to see him.

He got up from the floor and walked to Virgil, who looked down at him. Roman only came to Virgil’s nose, and he slid the onesie’s hood off of his head to better see Virgil.

“Roman?” Virgil asked. His Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped nervously.

“Can I hug you?” Roman asked, feeling tears well up in his eyes. He didn’t expect himself to be this emotional, perhaps it was the late hour, or the blossoming of knowledge that showed him his feelings.

Virgil only answered by pulling the smaller boy into his arms. He held Roman tight as Roman cried into the torn purple shirt. He had pent up a lot of emotions in anticipation of the night. He spent a long time making sure everything was perfect. He made sure the movie he chose appealed to Virgil’s tastes. He wanted the night to be special, and now he knew why. He wanted to be held while he let out the feelings for his friend.

“Hey, Roman, let’s move to the couch, my legs hurt from standing, plus I’m starving.” Virgil pulled back a bit, but waited for Roman to be the one to let go.

Roman nodded and stepped back. “Right, right. The popcorn is cold by now, but let me show you what I did.”

Virgil followed Roman into the room, finally having a chance to take in the details of Roman’s hard work. “This is perfect.”

He noticed the pillows and blankets were carefully placed, and the candy was evenly distributed in bowls. Virgil felt guilty. He wasn’t trying to be late, and after seeing how much this meant to Roman he decided to explain himself.

Virgil sat first, glancing up curiously at Roman who seemed hesitant. “What’s up, Dreamy?”

Roman scratched the back of his head. “Could I…” he cleared his throat to speak louder, “If you’re okay with it, can I lay my head in your lap while we talk? If not it’s fine, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable…”

Virgil closed his eyes, guilt tearing into his heart. Before he messed up, Roman had no problem plopping himself on him or any of the other guys.

He looked up and patted his hands against his lap, “Of course, you didn’t even need to ask.”

Roman smiled softly and curled up on the couch next to the taller boy. He laid his head on the soft lap. Virgil smiled at the appearance. The sight of Roman in a Beauty and the Beast onesie was adorable, and not in the overly sickening way. Out of habit, he ran his head through Roman’s curly blonde hair. He looked so fragile at that moment. Virgil was heartbroken a bit that he was a contributor.

“I’m sorry,” Roman whispered, “I don’t recommend listening to your voice messages.”

Virgil laughed, “I listened to the first one right before I got into the car.”

Roman made some high pitched noises in embarrassment, causing Virgil to smirk while he twirled with the soft bits of hair in his fingers. “It’s okay, I understand. We don’t have to talk about it right now. Plus I should be the one apologizing, I was the one who ruined the night by being late.”

He poked Roman on the nose to pause the protests that were about to come out. “No, really, it is my fault. I should have let you know I was visiting my grandma and would probably be late.”

Roman just rolled over to look up at Virgil. “So why didn’t you answer?”

Virgil blushed, “I just didn’t think about it, then I was on the road.”

He looked at the boy in his lap. There were hazel eyes buried under fresh tears. Virgil looked into them, not realizing before the amount of care Roman put into not just the night; but everything. Roman was always helping Patton take care of everyone. Roman was the one who hosted every event. He made sure to keep conversation flowing. He was great at creating party games. Roman was a bundle of goodness, and Virgil took that happiness of his for granted.

Roman knew creative nicknames for him. He made sure he kept his playful teasing to a minimum because he knew how sensitive Virgil was. Virgil felt his own eyes well up in shame.

“Hey Roman?” He whispered.

“What?” Roman whispered back.

“Did you-” Virgil looked up, his face was too hot. “Did you mean it?”

Roman sat up so he could look at Virgil better. “Yeah,” he drew out the word, “I didn’t know it until I said it.”

Virgil just nodded, looking away. “That’s good. I’m glad.”

They sat in awkward silence. Virgil twiddled with his thumbs. While Roman kept nervously scratching the back of his neck. Virgil snuck glances at the boy next to him, catching eyes a couple times.

“Look,” he finally decided to speak, “I’m not-I’m not really good at, um, feelings. But if we’re talking about it- and thinking, um, shit this is hard.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I guess, uh, the best way I can sum up is, um, well I guess I care about- I love,” he shyly looked at Roman through his black bangs, “I love you, also.”

Roman smiled in shock. “Wow.”

They just stared at each other, both smiling small smiles of hesitation. “Virgil,” Roman started, “Can I kiss you?”

Virgil blushed, shrinking in on himself. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for his first kiss, especially with his best friend. He looked at Roman, those eyes, and thought about maybe trying it once.

“Sure,” he replied. His voice was more shakier than intended.

Roman also seemed nervous, so that helped a bit. They both shifted closer to each other, and pressed their lips together slowly.

It was a slow kiss, nothing too overwhelming. The feelings in between them were soft. Unexpected love wasn’t meant to be too deep, and the sensitivity was still high. They both seemed to agree on keeping it soft. Soothing. They kept it slow, and eventually they parted as slowly as they came together. They shared a smile, both blushing.

“It’s late, should we just call it a night?” Virgil asked.

Roman shrugged. “Are you going to spend the night like usual?”

“Yeah, I think I need to rest before I think about driving more.”

Roman held his arms open. “Then I propose we cuddle together on the floor and pretend we watched the movie like always!”

Virgil laughed, “Alright, man, whatever you say.”

Virgil changed into the onesie, and it was a bit small but not too uncomfortable. They settled in together on the floor with the blankets and pillows, and when Roman finally drifted off, Virgil put his earbuds in. He went to his voicemail, and listened to the first one over and over until his eyes got too heavy. He kept feeling a form of nervous joy at hearing Roman saying “Love you.”

When he was done, he smiled at his friend’s sleeping face. “Love you, too.”

A/N: Wednesday plans fell through so you’re all being treated to two contents in one day. Prince in the Storm Chapter Three & this little hurt/comfort piece with my comfort ships. Love you all, and thanks for 25 followers!

Let me know if you wanna be added to a taglist for any ship!

#prinxiety #prinxiety oneshot #romantic prinxiety #roman sanders #virgil sanders #Mama Cesa writes #hurt/comfort

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metamorphosesrp · 5 years ago

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THE ROTH FAMILY

Based on the series Succession, this is a request for THE ROTHS, the family behind the shadowy MORPHOS CORP. If the Impact of 1999 is the blood in the water, then the Roth family are the sharks that followed. Arriving from Washington D.C. for the feast, they established the Genesis research facility in 2000 and have been using it for the last 21 years to explore the depths of the Novum Stretch as well as to conduct top secret experiments on how the Stretch affects plants, animals, and people.

Their company, Morphos Corp, was originally established in 1971 by family patriarch Charles Roth. Since its inception, Morphos has had a diverse portfolio dealing in government contracting (military, weapons, security) and pharmaceuticals. Their research on the Stretch is their latest power grab, as they secretly seek to monetize/weaponize their findings. Click here for more on the Morphos subplot.

The TL;DR of them is this: they’re rich, they’re ruthless, and they won’t leave until they get what they’ve come for. Even as the Backburns’ and town hall’s disdain for them grows, Arkney and Bellmore have become severely dependent on the money, jobs, and prestige Morphos and the Roths have brought to the area, and the Roths know and leverage this. The patriarch has dictated that each of his children fan out and insinuate themselves in different parts of Arkney and Bellmore society to increase the family’s presence and hold on the area.

If you’re interested in playing any of the available roles in this request, please reach out to any of the admins on Discord, once our server is open! Note that it is not necessary to have seen the show to participate, though it’s highly recommended for the vibes! See the group pin board for even more vibes.

Full blurbs for the roles can be found below!

THE LOGAN Charles Roth, 80 Written by Mady

THE LOGAN is no other than the founder and CEO of Morphos, Charles Roth. Charles may have come from some relative privilege but he has taken whatever wealth he was born with and tripped it, then did it again and again. After joining the military, he started his own business, Morphos.. The Morphos corporation has grown and with it his own, and the Roths at large, prominence. He is a ruthless man, cruel when necessary, manipulative, clever and driven above all else. He puts his business and family name above all else and is willing to kill for what he wants. Not the forgiving type, he's a formidable father, boss and possessive leader of the Roth family.

FC: Donald Sutherland

THE MARCIA 50-70 Reserved for Hobie

Third wife of Charles Roth, THE MARCIA is not to be underestimated. Having gained her own wealth in pharmaceuticals, she and Charles met through business and they were attracted to one another's power, wealth, and intelligence. MARCIA is unsympathetic, and at times antagonist, with Charles' children. Appreciating a man that has worked for what he has, she thinks of his adult children as spoiled, ungrateful, leeches on their father's hard earned legacy. The two have been married for ten years and she's fiercely loyal but more than capable of looking out for herself in this nest of vipers.

FC: Charlotte Rampling

THE CONNOR 42-50 Open

While the oldest of the four Roth siblings, THE CONNER doesn’t exactly act like it. He’s prone to frequent flights of fancy and, though he thinks himself highly effective, he mostly is anything but. He has the least influence on family and company dealings and occasionally has to be asked to cease and desist for the sake of preserving the Roth’s and Morphos’ reputation. THE CONNER is also Charles’ son from his first marriage and, as such, does not share a mother with his younger brothers and sister. What he’s doing now (read: his next big likely-to-be-doomed venture) is up to the player.

Suggested FCs: Alexander Skarsgård (pictured), Michael Shannon, Jon Hamm, Hugh Dancy, Bill Hader, Matt Bomer

THE KENDALL Jasper Roth, 40 Written by Vive

As THE KENDALL, Jasper is the hapless, over-achieving, by-the-books second son who once had Big Dreams™ of taking over as Morphos’ CEO upon his father’s retirement. However, that all went out the window five months ago when he found his then-lover was using him to get kompromat on the company and Jasper went to his dad for “help” (read: because of this, his then-lover was killed). His guilt, shame, heartbreak, and captivity to Charles’ whims has turned him into an increasingly run-down version of his former golden boy self, and he has been coping with a return to drug use.

FC: Daniel Brühl

THE ROMAN Remy Roth, 35 Written by Grim

As THE ROMAN, Remy has had a nice life coasting off of his family's name and their overall success. Spending a lot of his time partying, schmoozing, and generally just testing people's nerves with his sass, the time has come for him to pull his weight for once. Remy's easy-going nature is nothing when compared to his work ethic, a hidden gem that has driven him to impressive social heights. So now he's learning he's much more than just the family name and is working on 'coolifying' the town, in his eldest brother's words. A entrepreneur and restaurateur, he's already established a local brunch eatery and is working on starting a nightclub to breathe some real fun into an otherwise dismal town.

FC: Daniel Radcliffe

THE SHIV Anthea Roth, 33 Written by Lina

The youngest of the four siblings but, arguably, the most put-together and capable one. THE SHIV has always had a hand grasping her father's sleeve, seeking his approval and admiration at the cost of her own independence. She's swallowed down dreams of travel and creative exploration in favor of being the Good Girl, and she's chiseled down her softness to a sharp point; twisting her empathy into a tool for finding weak spots in her opposition. Engaged to THE TOM but she chose him with her family in mind rather than her own heart. Commitment is hard without real attachment and she's seeing someone else, someone local, on the side.

She once worked for Morphos but has recently carved out a piece of the Town Hall, working as a Communications Advisor for the Mayor's Office. She handles their optics and engagements with the towns – all behind-the-scenes, of course. THE LOGAN expects her to report back and keep him apprised of the inner workings of local politics, and she's happy to do so.

FC: Elizabeth Debicki

THE TOM 30-35 Open

Appearances have always mattered to THE TOM — how he feels about himself is refracted in how others perceive him. He's caught up in the heights of wealth and status, believing that it's the secret to a good life. He comes from an upper class background, not anywhere close to Roth-level affluence but enough to be disconnected from the “real world”. Engaged to THE SHIV and while he loves her, that love is compounded with greed, insecurity and desperation. Often lashes out at those “under” him, like COUSIN GREG, to assert himself and take back control. He has secured a position on the Morphos PR & Legal team, some would say through special treatment and they certainly aren’t wrong. Up to you if he’s fit for the job, or if he’s coasting by on his fiancées name.

Suggested FCs: Trevante Rhodes (pictured), Jon Kortajarena, Alfonso Herrera, Ben Barnes, Aldis Hodge, Manny Montana

THE COUSIN GREG 21-27 Open

The COUSIN GREG is the son of Charles Roth’s estranged sister. Very much green in all regards, they have (clumsily) insinuated themselves in the family’s business to secure a job and have been #trying to do what they must to keep that job. At first glance, COUSIN GREG isn’t much—they are naive, overly optimistic, and do not share the family’s ruthless instincts. However, they are not to be underestimated, as they are in fact listening, learning, and biding their time to make their own moves. Is basically the glorified assistant to THE TOM.

Gender is open and character can be biracial.

Suggested FCs: Charles Melton (pictured), Zazie Beetz, Jordan Fisher, Sasha Lane, Sean Teale, Laura Harrier, Xavier Dolan, Noami Scott, Gavin Leatherwood, Ashley Moore

THE GERRI 55-65 Open

THE GERRI has been working for the Roths for several decades and is currently serving as Morphos’ Director of PR & Legal. They are very much loyal to Charles Roth and the company, and work as his general counsel on all matters of decision-making. Loyalty aside, however, THE GERRI has been around the block and knows how the game works. They are not above making their own allegiances with those that suit their purposes and are astute in hedging their bets to ensure they land on the winning side no matter what. Vaguely a warped parent-ish figure to the Roth children, with some wine aunt vibes.

Suggested FCs: Viola Davis (pictured), Carla Gugino, Angela Bassett, Salma Hayek, Marisa Tomei, Monica Bellucci, Demi Moore

THE RAVA 34-40 Open

THE RAVA is married to THE KENDALL and has been around the family for several years. Though she loves and cares about Jasper and vice versa, their marriage has largely become one of convenience. Beyond this, the details of her life are open and discussable with Jasper’s player (vive). They could be separated or approaching divorce, she could be cool with his affair or not or not know, they could have kids that she mostly raises or not, etc.

Suggested FCs: Oona Chaplin (pictured), Sofia Boutella, Hannah John-Kamen, Alexa Davalos

#morphosrp #dev

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snowdice · 5 years ago

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Folds in Paper (Chapter 5: It Spills Itself in Fearing to be Spilt)[Folds in Time Universe]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Janus/Patton, Remus & Roman, eventual Logan/Virgil (maybe more)

Characters:

Main: Janus, Patton, Remus

Appear: Remy, Emile, Virgil, Logan, Roman

Summary: Janus, a disillusioned senior agent working for the Time Preservation Initiative, struggles to find meaning in a world where time travel could change everything about your life’s history in less than a moment. When time distortions start popping up, threatening the timeline and the fabric of reality as he knows it, it becomes a race against the clock to fix the damage before everything unravels. And the problem with time travel… you never how long you have before the clock strikes 12 and your time is up.

With a partner who has more mysteries in his past than Janus had anticipated and an enigmatic free agent time traveler mucking about time always with a clever pun or a time appropriate pet name on his lips, Janus will need to figure out what went wrong with time, and more importantly, how to fix it.

Chapter Summary:

So full of artless jealousy is guilt, It spills itself in fearing to be spilt

-Shakespeare in Hamlet

Notes: Time travel AU, mystery, enemies to lovers, alcohol

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

I also have a playlist on youtube (because Spotify didn’t have one of the songs I wanted).

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Janus stepped back into the reception area and booted up his time piece. Instinct said to go back to the office despite it being late enough that most people had gone home, but he hesitated. Surely Emile had given up by now, but considering he’d sent someone to ambush him in his office, Janus wasn’t sure if he should trust that. He could just go home, but he already knew his mind was racing too much to sleep tonight, so he’d probably just end up staring at the lake for the next 6 hours. That in mind, he decided on the only other legitimate option he had. He pulled up Remus’s home coordinates and selected.

The home that Remus had chosen (after his long line of rejected requests) managed to somehow make no and absolute sense simultaneously to anyone who knew him. It was a small farm in the United States just west of the Mississippi in 1842 in what would be ratified as the state of Iowa in a few years. When asked why he would choose that time and place, Remus always responded with “I thought it was funny,” whatever that meant.

Unlike most time agents who simply used the identities assigned to them by the AMO as a cover, Remus actually lived his part time. Janus was… fairly certain he was cheating a bit to get everything done, but he maintained his small farm all on his own, growing most of his own food. The neighbors he had lived very far away, but he still spoke with them far more than Janus did his own.

Janus appeared inside the small home, his eyes already shut. “Are you here and dressed?” Janus called. Something bumped lightly into his legs.

“I’m in the kitchen!”

Janus peaked his eyes open and squatted to pet the cat at his feet. “That doesn’t answer my second question!” he called back to Remus.

“It’s a surprise!” Remus said.

“Remus.” Diesel Fuel the cat flopped to her side on the ground as Janus continued to pet her ears. He heard Remus’s footsteps, and saw cloth covering his legs, so risked looking up. He was currently not only dressed, but wearing an apron that Janus was fairly sure was not time appropriate judging by the fabric and cat pawprint design. He had a bit of flour on his hands, and it may have been a bit too white for the time and place, but Janus couldn’t be completely sure.

“What’re you doing here?” Remus asked.

“My day has been an endless series of frustrations,” Janus said. “So, I have come to see the only tolerable being in the history of the universe.”

Remus snorted. “Since I know that isn’t me, I’ll assume you’re talking about the cat.”

“I still don’t understand why you tolerate this creature,” Janus addressed Diesel Fuel. She blinked slowly up at him. “To be fair, he was assigned as my partner. I didn’t have much of a choice in it. You could always run away and become feral in the woods if you’d like.”

“So, could you, technically,” Remus pointed out.

“I’m thinking about it after today.”

“Would you like some bread?” Remus asked. “That’s all I’ve been making this afternoon. Some fresh should be coming out of the oven in a few minutes.”

“Do you have anything stronger made out of wheat?”

“Ew, no, but I do have vodka.”

“Vodka works.”

“Want me to mix it with something?”

“No.”

“One of those night then,” Remus said, easily. “Let me finish up the bread, so I don’t burn the kitchen down. You can go get the alcohol from the cellar while you wait if you want, or you can just flop down on the couch.”

He was going to just flop down on the couch.

He did just that as Remus disappeared back into his kitchen. The cat hopped onto his stomach, proceeding to purr loudly and kneed at chest. Janus petted the cat and listened to the noise of Remus moving around in the other room, letting his mind drift. His mind drifted to Virgil for a bit and he steadfastly did not allow it to drift to his brother. Yet, the thing that most was on his mind was the strange man who had flirted with and charmed Janus all night before mercilessly screwing him over. ‘Pat’ he’d said his name was, but surely that was not his real name.

Janus sighed and scratched the cat’s ear. “He certainly wasn’t an amateur,” Janus mused to the cat. “With that amount of precision to get in before we did, he must have someone not on the ground feeding him information. Perhaps more than one.” He was part of a group of time traveling thieves perhaps or something worse. “I didn’t get a good look at his face since he was wearing a mask,” Janus said, “but I spent a lot of time with him, and I’m sure Remy swiped the mask from the police since it had been on me when I was arrested. It’s a good lead.” He continued to pet Diesel Fuel. Eventually, Remus came back in, noticed Janus hadn’t bothered to get the alcohol and went outside to the cellar. “I’m going to find him,” Janus told Diesel Fuel. “I’ll stop whatever it is he’s doing, and I’ll bring him in.” Diesel Fuel mewed her support, and Janus patted her on top of the head.

Remus came back in with the bottle of vodka and handed it to him without a word. He sat down on the couch near Janus’s feet and patted his lap so Diesel Fuel would come over to him and allow Janus to sit up.

The bastard waited until he was approximately 3 shots in (he didn’t have a shot glass and was just taking drinks from the bottle) to ask the questions Janus really didn’t want to answer. “Are you mad at Emile?” Remus asked.

Janus groaned, trying to wash out the bitter taste of shame and grief with the sharp sting of vodka. It didn’t work. “No,” he said to Remus.

“Then why have you been avoiding him?”

“Shit, I’m here because I didn’t want to think about it. Can’t we just not.”

“Don’t want to think about what?

“It’s none of your business, Remus.”

He could feel Remus frowning at him, but Janus stared resolutely ahead. At least, he did until a foot poked his face. He slapped it away, but it did the job of getting Janus to look back at Remus.

“It is my business,” Remus said, foot still in the air. “I’m your partner and your friend.”

“If I’m your friend, you’ll drop it.”

“So, you’re not mad at Emile,” Remus continued, contemplatively. “Did you do something to him, then?” Janus bit his lip and looked away. “What?” Remus asked. Janus didn’t respond. “Look, I’m sure he’ll forgive you for whatever it is. He’s a good guy. Just talk to him about it.”

“I can’t,” Janus said.

“Whatever it is, it’s probably been long enough that he forgives you. You literally just have to have a conversation, say you’re sorry, and everything will be A-OK.”

“I can’t,” Janus repeated.

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t know about it.”

Remus paused. “So, as far as he knows, you just cut contact with him all of a sudden for no reason and have been avoiding him ever since?”

Janus looked at his shoes. “Yeah.”

“That…” Remus said, “is not fucking fair Janus.”

“I know.”

“Then why the hell are you doing that to him? He’s like… soft and feeling-y. He’s probably really upset.”

“I know, Remus.”

“Tell him. Whatever it is.”

“I can’t.”

“Look,” Remus said. “You tell him and he either forgives you or he doesn’t. If he does, everything’s fine. If he doesn’t… well, it’s not like it would be any different from you two never being in the same room the last few years. Either way, you can’t just do this to him. He’ll probably forgive you. He’s your brother. Brothers don’t… brothers would forgive each other.”

Janus laughed softly and met Remus’s eyes. “That’s the problem,” he said. “He’d definitely forgive me.” He turned away and opened the vodka bottle again. “Now, if you’ll shut up for a few minutes, I’m going to drink until I black out.”

Want to read more? Click below!

AO3 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

#sanders sides #janus sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #moceit #time travel #bomb mentioned #adriana writes #folds in paper #folds in time universe

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perspective-series · 6 years ago

Text

Kingdom Perspective (9)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Fear, panic, kidnapping, keeping/treating people like pets, threats, and unwanted touching/grabbing

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

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“Alright, and that is...done!” Roman exclaimed, signing his name on the bottom of his third letter. There had been three nobles attending and each one of them needed their own letter. Roman wasn’t sure why but at least he was done now. He placed it inside an envelope and put it with the others. He’d hand them over to an advisor to distribute later. For now, he turned towards Virgil.

“You hungry?” He asked, noticing that it was getting dark out and close to dinner.

Virgil shrugged, stretching his limbs that had fallen asleep. “I could eat.”

“Wonderful! Then I shall be back in a moment.” He put Virgil in his cage before going to get dinner.

He came back about five minutes later with a plate in hand filled with steak and mashed potatoes, setting it down and opening the cage for Virgil to come out once again. “Dig in!”

“Why do you always pick the messiest stuff?” Virgil grumbled, already taking off his sweatshirt to tie around his waist.

“Well it’s not my fault. The kitchen staff usually sticks to one dinner a night. I could request something but why do so when I like what we’re having.” Roman shrugged and took a bite of his steak.

“Well then get me some silverware or something, because this is ridiculous.” Virgil came closer. “I’m not going to keep eating with my hands. And I’m not eating off your plate.”

Roman groaned. “Seriously, what is the big deal? It’s not that bad and if you need a napkin or something than you are more than welcome to one.” Roman portioned some food out for Virgil in the corner of the plate. “Besides, even if I asked for some silverware for you, it wouldn’t get here until tomorrow at the earliest.”

“What’s the big deal?” Virgil raised an eyebrow. “I don’t see you eating with your hands every meal.”

“Well, I am also more dignified than you, so…” Roman trailed off. But he sighed. “But fine. If it’ll make you happy, I’ll put in for some human silverware. But you’re going to have to make due tonight.” Roman said and tapped the edge of the plate where Virgil’s food was.

“Or I could starve.” Virgil pointed out helpfully.

“...Or you could not do that.” Roman said with furrowed eyebrows. “Come on Virgil, just eat already!” Why did the human always have to make this so difficult?

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Virgil glared at Roman, but he came over to the plate anyways. He selected one of the drier bits of steak, hoping it would make less of a mess as he bit into it.

….it didn’t.

Roman snickered a little but was quick to tear off some napkin and hold it out for Virgil to take.

“This is the big deal.” Virgil informed him, taking the napkin and trying to dab the juices off his shirt. He threw the remaining steak back onto the plate irritably.

Roman bit his lip as he watched Virgil try to clean himself off. “Virgil, you are missing everything. You still have some-just, here.” Roman grabbed his napkin and scooped Virgil up, starting to dab at his face and clothes gently.

“H-hey!” Virgil squirmed, protesting. “Roman, put me down! I was fine!”

“I’m almost done.” Roman said, wiping a bit more juice away. “There we go!” Roman held Virgil farther away from him to get a better look. “Though you might want to change your shirt.” He set Virgil back down.

“I told you, I had it.” Virgil huffed, crossing his arms to hide the faint pink stain on his white t-shirt. “You can’t let me do anything, can you?”

“I would have let you do it but it was much faster for me to do it.” Roman shrugged, digging back into his meal. “I was just trying to help you out.”

“I didn’t want your help.” Virgil sneered, storming off away from Roman.

Roman rolled his eyes. “Oh come on! Don’t be like that!” Honestly, Roman was just making Virgil’s life easier. He should be thanking him.

Virgil ignored him, not feeling hungry anymore. He retreated to the far corner of the desk, sulking. He peered over the desk for a moment, but the height made Virgil keep a healthy distance from then on.

Roman frowned and sighed, rubbing at his face. “Virgil…”

“Don’t ‘Virgil’ me.” Virgil whirled back to face him. “You don’t get to try and guilt trip me like I’m a misbehaving child.”

“Well, maybe you if stopped acting like one…” Roman muttered, crossing his arms.

“I’m not a child.” Virgil insisted. “I’m just a guy who’s trying his best to stay sane and keep his last shred of dignity when he keeps getting tossed about by a royal prick.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “And people call me dramatic. Honestly, Virgil, why can’t you be more like Patton? He knows a good thing when he sees it.”

“Patton is brainwashed.” Virgil shook his head sadly. “And he certainly deserves to go home even more than me. What, you think he’s really happy here? Living his life in a cage and being silenced constantly by the monsters that imprison him?”

Roman frowned. “He...seems happy to me.” Virgil was just being dramatic. Right? “Besides, it’s not as bad as you are making it out to be.”

“Everything here can kill me and I have no freedom.” Virgil raised an eyebrow. “There’s not exactly a good side to any of this.”

“Everything can but it won’t.” Roman said as he bit his lip. Could he really argue against the freedom thing though? “And-And who needs freedom. You are being well taken care of by yours truly and no longer have to go through the struggles of whatever it was you did in your world.”

“Those struggles were mine, they’re a part of who I am.” Virgil gestured to the golden cage on the other end of the desk. “Here I’ve just got new struggles where you’re constantly trying to chip away at my being, piece by piece. This isn’t living, this is surviving, if you can even call it that.”

...Roman wasn’t sure how to respond to that. So, he decided to change topics so he wouldn’t have to. “You know what? I think it’s time for bed.” Roman stood up and placed his dish on the other end of the desk.

“I don’t even have a bed.” Virgil pointed out, crossing his arms. “I just have a pile of hoodies and a blanket inside a cage where a giant evil prince keeps me captive.”

“I am not evil.” Roman gasped in offence. “And if you wanted a bed, you could have said something earlier. I will put that in for you tomorrow.” Roman reached and grabbed Virgil in his fist. He hesitated on putting Virgil in the cage for a moment, bringing him up to his face instead.

He gently pet the top of Virgil’s head. “...I just want you to be happy here.”

“Just shut up.” Virgil growled, ducking his head down away from the touch. “I don’t care what you want.”

Roman sighed but didn’t say anything more. He put Virgil back in his cage and then once more brought the cage over to his nightstand. “Goodnight, Virgil.” Roman said before blowing out the candle and lying in bed.

Virgil tried to get comfortable, but it was difficult when his blanket was still lying on the desk somewhere. He sighed, trying to bundle himself in the hoodies and get comfortable. It was going to be another long night.

***

Logan sighed, closing the bedroom door behind him. His afternoon had been quite chaotic, given the kingdom’s current state of affairs. Logan hadn’t had a moment to himself, and now it was well into the night.

“Patton, you would not believe the ordeals I have gone through today.” Logan sighed, rubbing his hands along his face. He walked over to the desk, confused by the lack of a response. “Patton?”

Looking inside, it seemed Patton was fast asleep on his bed. Logan couldn’t help but smile at the scene. The human looked so peaceful, it would be a shame to wake him. So, Logan let him sleep. Instead he quietly slipped into his nightshirt, climbing into his own bed, and fell asleep within moments. It seemed the demands of the day had left the soon to be king rather exhausted.

It felt like only moments later that the sunlight came pouring in. Logan groaned, sitting up. How could the next day have come already? It seemed abnormally cruel. Nonetheless, Logan got up diligently and got dressed. A knock at the door indicated the maid had arrived with breakfast. This was a new occurrence, given Logan’s new title. He thanked her, coming over to the desk where Patton still was asleep. Logan felt a bit jealous.

“Good morning, Patton.” Logan greeted, opening the cage and beginning to prep some food for the human.

Patton stirred awake, looking up to blink at Logan. He grinned when he finally came into view. “Logan! You’re back!”

“I got back late last night.” Logan explained. “And likely I’ll be called away today, as well.”

“Oh.” That means he didn’t have a lot of time. He’s have to ask fast. But first, he was starving. Patton almost went right out of the cage but stopped himself. Remembering to wait for the command. How could he forget?

Of course, Logan seemed out of it as well this morning. It wasn’t until after all the food was prepared and he looked over to see the human still inside the cage that he remembered.

“Right!” Logan quickly tapped on the desk, looking almost sheepish. “Apologies, Patton. I’m-” Logan paused to yawn. “Quite tired.”

Patton giggled a little. “It’s okay.” He stepped out of the cage, going over to his portion of food and eating it eagerly. With Logan gone, he hadn’t had a chance to eat dinner last night, so he was extra hungry.

“...I didn’t realize what a change this would be.” Logan admitted, resting his cheek on his palm. “I thought that I would be ready, after preparing my whole life. And yet in a way I still feel unprepared.”

Patton swallowed his bite and looked at Logan with a large smile. “Logan, you are going to do great! The best king this kingdom has ever seen!”

Logan chuckled softly. “Your praise is biased but appreciated.”

Patton took another bite of his food before remembering the questions he had to ask. “Um, Logan?”

“Yes Patton?” Logan began eating his own portion of breakfast.

“Well...I was just wondering a few things.” Patton took a deep breath. “Like, uh, how exactly did me coming here...work, exactly?”

“What do you mean?” Logan asked.

“Like, I know it was magic, right? But how did that work? Could anyone do it? Do you know how?” Patton asked, hoping he wasn’t going to far with the questions.

“Oh. Well I’m not quite sure the specifics, that was Dee’s specialty.” Logan recalled back when Dee had first presented his discovery to the king. The discovery was of course Patton himself, who was later passed down to Logan. “Any sorcerer with the proper spell knowledge should be able to cast it. I myself am not a sorcerer, and it’s doubtful that I will become one anytime soon.”

“Oh.” Well that made things a bit harder. It wasn’t like they could ask Dee to take them back home. Patton shivered at the thought of just seeing him again. “And that’s the only way to get to my world?”

“Certainly to my knowledge.” Logan raised an eyebrow. “What’s spurred all these questions?”

“Uh…” Patton fidgeted slightly. “Well, I just got curious with Virgil coming here from my world and stuff.” Patton lied.

“Hmm.” Logan thoughtfully chewed his eggs but said nothing else.

“Um, also, where exactly is Roman’s room?” Patton asked again, giving Logan an innocent smile.

“You’re asking a lot of questions.” Logan observed.

Patton tensed, ducking his head slightly. “Um...is that bad?”

“Not necessarily, although it is concerning.” Logan held back another yawn. “What exactly were you and Virgil discussing yesterday?”

Patton bit his lip, trying to hide his nervousness. “...Nothing.”

“Right.” Logan’s tired mind could tell something was up, but with all the pressure on him about the throne it was hard for Logan to pinpoint what exactly was going on. “Perhaps we should keep the two of you separated…” Logan muttered.

Patton’s eyes widened at that. “What? N-No!” Patton practically shouted. He...He couldn’t just not see Virgil again!

Logan’s eyes widened, surprised by Patton’s reaction. He hadn’t meant to say that aloud. “I just...think Virgil might be a bad influence.”

“No he’s not! Really! I-I just…I was just...curious.” He finished lamely, wrapping his arms around himself.

There was a knock at the door, drawing Logan’s attention there. “Prince- er, king, uh….your highness? Picani is waiting.”

“Coming.” Logan called back tiredly. He sighed, standing up. “We can discuss this later, I’ll try to be back in time for lunch.”

Patton looked down. “...Okay.” Knowing what was coming, Patton went back into the cage on his own.

Logan locked it, not saying another word before he trudged out for more royal responsibilities.

***

Roman woke up bright and early the next morning, getting up and going through his routine of getting ready and going to get breakfast. He came back with a simple plate of eggs and toast with jam and had also put in the order for the human sized silverware and bed for Virgil. So hopefully those would come in soon.

He moved the cage back over to the desk and opened it. “Breakfast, Virgil.”

“I’m not hungry.” Virgil replied, only for his stomach to growl so loudly there was no doubt Roman heard it. Virgil felt his cheeks turn pink, subconsciously, covering his stomach.

Roman chuckled. “Yes, it sure sounds like it.” He teased. He thought about what Virgil said last night and put the portioned out pieces on a napkin for Virgil. “Here you are. Oh and your bed and silverware will be here later tonight.”

Virgil’s eyebrows raised. “Thanks.” He said, coming out to grab a slice of toast. At least this was easily manageable.

As Roman ate, he started to realize is was time for a certain something for the both of them. Oh, Virgil wasn’t going to like this, he could already tell. “Alright, so...okay, I’m just going to come out and say it, you need a bath today.”

Virgil gave Roman a look. “I do not.”

“It’s been three days since you’ve been here and you haven’t bathed once.” Roman refuted, raising an eyebrow. “I think you do.”

“I’ve gone longer without a bath.” Virgil shifted uneasily, wondering what exactly bath time with Roman would look like.

“Well, that’s just gross.” Roman said, face twisting up in disgust. “No yeah, you are definitely taking a bath today.” Roman shoved some egg into his mouth.

“Please don’t make me take a bath.” Virgil pleaded. “I’m not...look, I like my privacy, okay?”

“Yes, I’ve gathered.” Roman said, raising an eyebrow. “It’s not like I’m going to be in there with you.” Did Virgil actually think he was going to watch him bathe or something?

...Wait, Virgil actually thought that didn’t he? Roman huffed. He would never!

Virgil paused. “I’ll be alone?”

“Of course! Honestly, what do you take me for? How dare you imply I would creep in on you!” Roman huffed and crossed his arms, looking away from Virgil as he pouted.

“Well you creep on me everywhere else.” Virgil rolled his eyes, but as he continued to munch on his toast he began to wonder if maybe bath time was a good thing. It would be the first time Virgil was alone outside of the cage. Maybe he could even work on an escape plan then.

“I do not.” Roman huffed, before getting up and grabbing his dishes to move to the side. He put Virgil back in the cage. “Alright, I’ll be right back. I’m going to have someone prepare our baths.” And with that, he left to go find a servant or maid.

Virgil began to pace back and forth, wondering what exactly would be his ‘bath’. He could swim, sure, but he didn’t exactly feel like treading water while trying to bathe himself. Not to mention then he’d be too exhausted to actually make a run for it.

Roman walked back, carrying a number of things. All of which he placed on the desk. “Alright, while my bath is being made, I figured you could take yours.” There was a small bowl filled with warm water, along with a sliver of soap and a small cloth for a towel. There were also metal rods that stood up, with black curtains that covered the top and hung down, for privacy. Roman put this over the bowl. Finally he set some clean clothes out for Virgil to change into within the curtained area.

“Here we are! All set.” Roman announced, motioning to what he had just set up.

“Alright, see you later.” Virgil didn’t move any closer to the bath.

Roman stared at him. “Um...are you going to get in…?” He said, motioning once again to the bath.

“Why the hell would I get in?” Virgil raised an eyebrow. “You’re still here, you said you’d be gone.”

“Ah, yes. Right.” Roman had said that, hadn’t he? But on his way to get the bath, he realized how bad of an idea that could be, to leave Virgil all alone and in the open. “Well, I...Look, if I leave you completely alone, you’re going to try and escape. Which is useless since there is nowhere for you to go but you don’t seem to care.” Roman huffed.

“I figured a privacy curtain would be the best way to go.” Roman tried.

“No!” Virgil stomped his foot. “This is literally what I was talking about. You try to act like you’re not creepy and then you pull stuff like this. You really expect me to get naked in front of you behind a measly curtain that could be moved at any moment? And then you’re gonna watch to make sure I don’t go running out from behind said curtain. That’s creepy.”

Roman sighed, realizing Virgil was right. “I apologize Virgil. I will...leave you alone. But I am only giving you fifteen minutes. And then I am coming back in here. Alright?” He figured that wouldn’t be enough time for Virgil to get away.

“I thought you had to take a bath too.” Virgil pointed out. “Seems like that’d take longer than fifteen minutes.”

“I’ll postpone my bath.” Roman said with a shrug. “Fifteen minutes.” He said one last time, before exiting the room.

“THAT’S STILL CREEPY!” Virgil yelled after him, knowing the Giant was likely right outside the door. Wasting no time, Virgil began investigating the desk for some sort of way down. He peered over the edge, noticing how close the chair was to the desk. It would be dangerous, but maybe...if he landed on its plush surface…

Virgil jumped before he could psyche himself out, arms pinwheeling as he flew through the air. He landed with a soft ‘oof’, imprinting into the fabric. He regained his balance, impressed to see he was still alive. Looking over the edge of the chair, Virgil was pleased to see a fur rug was placed beneath the furniture. It wasn’t quite as plush as the chair, but this distance wasn’t as far either. It would do. Hopefully.

Deciding to test it anyways, Virgil jumped again. This landing was less perfect, and Virgil landed painfully on his side. He groaned quietly, knowing that would leave a bruise.

“Shake it off.” He muttered to himself, getting to his feet. He looked up briefly at the desk. He had gotten this far, he couldn’t waste more time.

Virgil sprinted for all he was worth over towards the doorway. He pressed himself up against the wall, ready to slip through the moment Roman came back.

Roman waited the fifteen minutes he had promised before opening the door. “Alright Virgil, I’m coming back in!” He announced and did as he said. He walked to the desk but didn’t see any sign of Virgil. He looked towards the curtain. “Virgil? Are you still in there?”

But Virgil was already gone, having slipped past Roman’s own two feet when he wasn’t even paying attention. Virgil silently cheered himself on, looking at the expansive hallway before him.

Only now did Virgil only realize he had the beginnings of a true plan and not more. Picking a direction at random, Virgil sprinted down the hall, keeping pressed against the wall to stay out of foot traffic and to duck behind the various pieces of armor and other fancy trinkets royalty kept.

Remy whistled as he walked down the hallway, heading to his workroom to get some work done when he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned to look at it head on, realizing what, or rather who, it was. Remy smirked and walked closer to Virgil. “Well, well, what are you doing out here all by your lonesome?” Remy asked as he leaned down near the human.

“Remy, I swear to god-” Virgil hissed, trying to dodge behind a suit of armor and out of Remy’s reach.

“Nope.” Remy reached out and grabbed Virgil before he could get out of reach. He stood up. “I have a feeling a certain someone is looking for you.” He heading towards Roman’s room.

“NO!” Virgil screeched, thrashing in Remy’s hand. “PUT ME DOWN! LET ME GO!”

“Whoa, feistier than usual today, huh?” Remy chuckled. He didn’t bother knocking as he opened up Roman’s door and saw him there talking to a...curtain?

“Come on Virgil! At least say something to let me know you haven’t like, drowned or something!” Roman exclaimed and the scene caused Remy to straight up laugh.

“Um, Roman? You looking for him?” He said, holding Virgil up. Roman whirled around, surprised to see Remy in his room and even more surprised to see Virgil in his grasp.

“What?! But, I-How?!” Roman rushed over and Remy shrugged.

“Not sure, found him sneaking around in the hallway.”

“It was none of your business, Remy.” Virgil spat up at the tailor, beginning to fear the repercussions for his actions.

Roman took Virgil from Remy, holding him close to his chest. “Well, thank you for bringing him back to me Remy.”

“Not a problem, my dude. Just keep a better eye on him though. Don’t want someone else scooping him up and taking him.”

“...Yes. I will do that.” Roman said and Remy left with a small wave. Roman closed the door after he left before looking down at Virgil.

“...Why do you do these things, Virgil?” He said with a sigh.

“Why do you think I do these things?” Virgil glared, frustrated about getting nowhere. All he got out of this was a handful of bruises. “I haven’t exactly been subtle about my intentions.”

Roman just sighed, taking Virgil over to the desk. “Honestly, I don’t even know where you are trying to go. It’s not like you can even get to your world.” Roman mumbled as he took the curtain apart with one hand, still holding Virgil in the other.

“That doesn’t mean I can stop trying.” Virgil squirmed.

Roman placed the bowl of water into the cage, as well as Virgil’s towel and extra clothes before putting Virgil in there and making sure he locked the door. “Okay, now I’m going to leave and take my bath and you can take yours while I’m gone. Alright?”

“...can I at least have the curtain?” Virgil shifted, not exactly eager to have Roman walk in on him.

Roman looked from the cage to the curtain. “Alright.” Roman placed the curtain around the outside of the cage. “I’ll be back in about a half hour.” Roman said before heading out of the room and towards his much needed bath.

Virgil debated about not taking a bath at all, but figured if he did that Roman would definitely stick around and make sure he took one anyways. So, he undressed and got in the water. Virgil winced at the feeling of warm water on his fresh bruises, washing up quickly so that he could be done before Roman got back. Virgil put on the clothes Roman left for him, a brown pair of pants and a black tunic. Then of course Virgil put his hoodie on over it, toweling off his hair.

Roman came back, a towel wrapped around his neck and a content smile on his face. Yeah, he had definitely needed that. He threw his towel with the rest of his dirty laundry and went over to his desk. “Virgil? Are you done?”

“If I say no, do I get left alone?” Virgil called out.

Roman rolled his eyes. “Just tell me if you are or not.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Virgil teased, leaning against the cage bars.

Roman had a feeling Virgil was in fact done but he wasn’t about to invade Virgil’s privacy. Knowing he would get an earful for it. “If you say no, then yes, I’d leave you alone for another few minutes to finish up.” Roman answered.

“Well now I wish I hadn’t finished already.” Virgil gave a fake sigh, deciding to let the Giant off the hook. After all, it was quite strange being able to hear Roman but not see him.

Roman’s lips twitched up and he took down the curtain, revealing Virgil. He opened the cage and took out the bowl and dirty clothes and set them off to the side. “So, feel clean?”

“I feel wet.” Virgil shrugged, shaking his still damp hair slightly. “I feel bruised, and disappointed.”

Roman sighed, taking a seat at his desk and put his head down so he was on his arms, more eye level with Virgil. “Virgil...there-there must be something that could make you happier here. At this point, I am willing to do almost anything.” He really wanted Virgil to like it here. To like him. But it was clear from his escape attempt and his depressing words that that still was not the case.

“Yeah, I got that.” Virgil put his hands into his pockets, looking uncomfortable. “I just...princey, you gotta understand. I want to be around people my own size. Not to mention, I’m not exactly fond of living out my days as some sorta pet.” Virgil scowled at the cage, stepping out onto the desk’s surface.

Roman winced at Virgil’s words. “W-Well...I mean, I…” Roman bit his lip, not knowing what to say. He...he could see Virgil’s point.

“The only way somebody could be ‘happy’ like this is if they became a shell of their former self, like Patton.” Virgil sighed. “Although I doubt he’s actually happy. More like...complacent.”

“He...He seems happy. And he makes Logan happy too. I mean, Logan practically adores him.” Roman smiled a little. “Heh, you should have seen Logan before he was given Patton. He’s almost a completely different person.” Almost, of course, Logan would still always be Logan. But Roman had noticed more of a softness in his older brother shortly after getting Patton.

“What, so you expect me to reform you too?” Virgil raised an eyebrow.

Roman furrowed his eyebrows. “What? Of course not! I’m perfect just the way I am.”

“Then why the hell am I here?” Virgil huffed. “I hate you, you hate me, and everyone’s miserable.”

Roman blinked. “I don’t hate you. Since when have I said that I hated you?” Roman asked, a little confused at how Virgil made that assumption.

“You love the idea of the perfect pet human.” Virgil rolled his eyes. “But you hate me, because I’m not that.”

“That...That’s not true.” Roman shook his head. “Do I wish you would listen more? Sure! I would greatly appreciate it, actually. But I must admit I have come to...enjoy our conversations. Well, most of them.” Roman looked down.

“You have this fight in you, this sass, that I’ve come to actually like. A spunk, to quote Remy.” The giant sighed and looked back up at Virgil. “I really do care about you.”

“Do you even care you ripped everything away from me?” Virgil asked quietly.

Roman’s eyes widened and he looked down, suddenly unable to meet Virgil’s eyes. “I…” What...What did he even say to that?

“Do you care that I had a life?” Virgil pressed on. “Do you care that I’m miserable?”

“I...I do but…” Virgil was his human, he was his but...but he was an actual person. He was a person so, so had his father and Dee been wrong? Well, it wouldn’t be the first time...but did that mean that Logan was wrong…

That was a little harder to believe, despite his teasing towards his older brother.

“Roman, this isn’t right.” Virgil could see the prince seemed to be breaking down. “I don’t belong here.”

“I-” Roman was cut off this time by a knock at the door.

“Prince Roman, your presence is requested with advisor Picani.” Roman sighed.

“I’ll...I’ll be right there!” He called out and then sighed as he looked back at Virgil. “We’ll...We’ll talk about this later, okay?” Roman stood up and placed Virgil back in the cage, this time with a hesitance that hadn’t been there before.

“...fine.” Virgil groaned, knowing he had been so close. Hopefully his words would stick in Roman’s mind, festering until the giant finally understood.

Roman turned to leave the room, before pausing. “I’m...sorry.” He said, before quickly leaving the room.

Virgil glanced at the doorway, surprised. Was that really an apology? From Roman?

...maybe there was some good in that prince after all.

#gt #Giant/tiny #thomas sanders #sanders sides #infinitesimal!sides #au #giants #human!virgil #human!patton #giant!roman #giant!logan #platonic #kingdom perspective #part 9

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codevassie · 5 years ago

Note

for the oneshot request: hurt and comfort remile where emile gets beat up by one of the students in his college (bc he’s gay and this idiot kid is a homophobe) and remy tends to his wounds since they know a thing or two about how to take care of your wounds after a fight. you can decide if they an established couple or they’re just friends - i don’t mind either way. i hope this request is okay to write

CV: Okay to write? Oh it was certainly okay–it was brilliant! Thank you so much for requesting. I love Remile so much, and I hope I was able to write what you had in mind here. Have a wonderful day!

CW: Homophobia, Implied/ Referenced Bullying and Violence, Injury, Hyperventilation

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

A lot of things worried Emile about that day.

His swollen eye, for one. It stung to hell, and he hadn’t even gotten a chance to put an ice pack on it. He hoped neglecting it for a while wouldn’t make it worse. The cool wind was hitting it, sending both pain and relief across his face, and Emile couldn’t decide which was worse–going without the cold, or taking the extra beating by nature itself.

For another, he still had two classes to get to before he could go home and rest the ache in his muscles–and maybe find that ice pack he was craving. He dreaded other students, or worse, his professors, asking what had happened to him. Emile imagined the worry etched on their faces, their kind voices letting him know he could trust them, he could tell them-

He didn’t want to tell anyone. Emile just wanted to pretend it had never even happened.

There was the grand societal worry–about what it meant that kids were still being abused for who they were. That people could be so cruel to harm someone who hadn’t done anything to them. Emile hadn’t even known the guy, but, somehow, he had known him. He knew him as someone who was out and proud, someone who smiled when he told people he was gay. He was active in his school’s LGBTQ+ Alliance, and worked at the counselor’s office, hosting a support group for queer kids in the area.

He worried that maybe it wasn’t a question of how the guy had known him, but why this hadn’t happened sooner.

Or who was next.

Emile thought of the kids he worked with, the ones he talked to, told they’d always have a safe place to come to, but what if it wasn’t a safe place at all? What if Emile was only putting them in danger?

But maybe, worst of all–in some misguided, hopeless delusion that he’d always be smiling for them, always be the one who had it together, who was always there to help–Emile was worried about Remy’s reaction.

His partner, Remy, was the light of his life. The only one who didn’t see him as naive because he looked on the bright side. The only one who supported all the extra responsibilities he took on because, if he could help, he was going to goshdarn help. The only one Emile could lean on just as much as Remy leaned on him.

Even though it scared him. Leaning on someone else–it took time to learn. Emile had never given himself that luxury, despite, objectively, knowing how bad that was for him. He was a psychology major; he was going to be a therapist. Emile could see his own destructive behavior. It was a slow process to mend it though.

Emile didn’t want Remy to see him like this. If they saw him, with his swollen eye and cut lip and bruising arms and legs that no one could even see under his winter attire, Emile was afraid he’d break.

The world felt so big, while Emile felt so small. Without a tether, Emile felt sort of distant from it all, like maybe he could pretend it hadn’t happened. His worries were breaking down his walls–the horrors of an unjust world singing its mournful tunes. The world wasn’t a happy place–Emile knew that. But sometimes it hit you full-on in the shape of a fist and awful slurs and falling helplessly to the ground at the feet of bigots and their sneers.

Emile hadn’t cried. Not a single tear. He really really didn’t want to. The moment he cried, they had won.

He knew he would cry as soon as he saw Remy.

But Emile couldn’t bring himself to go to class, opting for, the first time that semester, to skip. He thought, ironically, how Remy would be proud. They always said Emile needed to loosen up. Needed to take more care of himself too. That’s two points in one action.

Instead, his feet took him closer to the on-campus Starbucks, packed with students studying, and a line long enough to wrap around the building. On a cold day like this, he shouldn’t have been surprised people wanted hot beverages and a warm place to sit. He hadn’t realized until now he’d been hoping it would be slow.

He hadn’t actually realized where he was going until he saw the long line.

For a moment, he froze, eyes landing behind the counter, the long room away from where he stood, at his partner, juggling cups, looking busied, but unfrazzled–completely in their element. Emile loved coming in here and sitting at a table close by, just to watch them over his laptop screen, talking to them when business was slow.

The people around him parted slightly, regulars recognizing him and others just shocked at the mess that was his face. Emile ducked, face burning. Remy was busy. He should leave, come back later-

“Emile?”

Emile’s head jerked up, eyes landing on the figure approaching him. His heart dropped into his stomach at the sight of a green apron, thinking for a moment it was them, before he looked further and he reached a darker pair of eyes than he was expecting–warm, but not golden. Brown.

“Roman?” he croaked, eyes widening when he realized how he’d sounded.

“What happened to you?” the other asked. Futilely, Emile reached up, trying to hide his face. “Sorry. We should get you to Remy.”

“What? No!” He shook his head insistently. “Remy’s busy. This can wait.”

“No offense,” Roman said, raising an eyebrow at him. “But I really don’t think this can wait.”

Emile went quiet. Roman took his arm, steering him towards the counter. Remy was so focused, they didn’t even notice them until Roman spoke up.

“Remy, I’m covering for you. Give me your orders.”

“What?” Remy looked up, confusion lining his features. It didn’t take long for his gaze to gravitate to Emile, eyes widening. “Emile?” they gasped, slamming down the paper cup they’d been holding. Thankfully, nothing had been in it yet.

“Hey, Rem,” Emile said, fighting back the tears stinging hot at the back of his eyes. Remy practically threw their orders at Roman, who Emile assumed had been on break. Remy rushed around the counter, taking Emile gently and rushing them out. Emile could feel the eyes trailing after them, whispers like screams demanding what had happened–demanding Emile’s secret weaknesses.

They twisted and turned through the corridors of the Social Sciences building, where the Starbucks was located, until they found an empty, unlocked room. Remy pulled him in and shut the door behind them, turning to look Emile over now that they were at a safe distance. Emile didn’t give them the chance, though, finally giving in to his tears and crashing into them.

He felt their arms wrap around him, encasing Emile closer to Remy’s comfort and heat, cradling the back of his head, pulling him in close so Emile could feel like all of the world was there, that he may have been small in comparison, but Remy was big enough to protect both of them, that Remy was the tether that stuck him in this moment.

Emile’s breath hitched and hiccuped, but he couldn’t stop. The tears kept coming–his whines–his sorrows–his fear that had carried past the moment of being knocked to the ground–his worry that the world was so unfair with no way to fix it–it all boiled over in his desperate clutching of Remy’s apron, then the back of his shirt–whatever drew him closer–secured him there with his partner and not the cold ground–not helplessly curling up–alone–his worries speeding off ahead of him about how no one had heard–no one had helped–anything could have happened.

“Em,” Remy’s voice cut through his spiralling thoughts, and Emile gasped a little, too quiet, not able to get anymore breath in. “Em, you need to breathe. Count with me, okay?”

And so they counted. The same thing Emile did with his group. The same thing he’d taught Remy to help with that friend of theirs. It took an excruciatingly long time, but they counted.

Once Emile had his breathing under control, he finally looked up at his partner. His vision was a little blurry, and he couldn’t tell if it was just the fact Remy had taken off his glasses, or if it also had to do with tears. Remy took his puzzled look to mean he wanted his glasses back, though, and carefully slipped them back over his ears.

Eyes a bit clearer, he focused on them. Guilt gnawed at his gut. “I’m sorry.”

A series of expressions crossed Remy’s face. “Don’t you dare apologize for this. This is not your fault,” they said, but their tone wasn’t harsh. In fact, it couldn’t have been more than a scared whisper.

“I shouldn’t have come while you were working,” Emile tried to clarify, but Remy shook their head.

“I would have dropped everything even if Roman didn’t offer to cover,” Remy said. “I don’t care what I’m doing. If you need me, I’m always there for you.” They looked over his face, and Emile felt a hot, dizzying shame. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“Just some guy,” Emile said, trying to speak evenly, trying to have it come off as no big deal. “Homophobe.”

Remy’s eyes grew angrier. They curled their lip. “Disgusting.”

“He’s just ignorant,” Emile shrugged. He felt sorry for the guy–thinking he had to pick fights just to feel secure about himself and his misguided beliefs. Remy shook their head.

“I’ll track him down and beat him up myself,” they said, but Emile frowned at that.

“Don’t do that,” he said. Remy deflated, looking him over again.

“Well, at least let me patch you up.”

Emile smiled, but he doubted it came off with his usual cheeriness. “You and what bandages?”

“The cafe keeps first-aid on hand downstairs,” they said. “Could you wait here while I get it?”

Something rose up in Emile’s throat at the thought of being left alone right now, but he nodded anyway. “Of course.”

Remy looked him over, probably seeing right through him. They looked at him, then at the door, then back.

“Really,” Emile reassured. “I’ll be fine.”

Remy had a look in their eye as they undid their apron, shucking the leather jacket they had underneath. Emile wondered how it hadn’t gotten hot in the cafe wearing those layers, but he was thankful for it now, the heavy jacket being thrown over him. Remy bent down, kissing the tip of his nose.

“I’ll be right back, babe.” It was the first time they sounded like themself that day. Emile hated that he’d made them so sober and serious, even if for a good reason.

And they were back, as quick as they had said. Emile barely had time to sit at one of the desks, hugging the jacket close.

Remy came back with an ice pack.

“My savior,” Emile teased, but he grabbed the pack immediately, pressing it to his face. It stung, but, like the wind, it helped.

“Need your arm, hun,” Remy said, bringing a chair closer to sit next to him. Emile looked down at both arms, unsure which they meant until he noticed it: a scrape that had gone right through the material of his hoodie.

Peeling off the hoodie and rolling up his sleeve, Emile presented the arm, which Remy went straight into disinfecting. They worked in silence, and Emile ran his thumb over and over again across the material of Remy’s jacket.

“You know, it’s usually the other way around with us,” Emile said, breaking the comfortable silence they had built up. Remy’s curious eyes met his. “I’m always stitching you up.”

“Well, I guess I get to take care of you for once,” Remy smiled. “Good thing I have practice.”

“It’s not a good thing you get into so many fights,” Emile said. He tried for serious, but he couldn’t muster up the energy to sound anything but slightly amused. “Especially when I wasn’t around to help you after.”

“It’s a good thing we’ve got each other now, then, right?” Remy said, and there was something so soft to it. “We get to keep an eye on each other.”

With those words, Emile’s guilt morphed into something far warmer, better. He looked deep into Remy’s eyes, reading easily between the lines.

It would take a long time–learning to lean on someone else–but Emile was glad it was Remy.

#sanders sides #remile #emile picani #ts sleep #remy sanders #requests #i still suck at endings but hope you enjoy!#i'm in the middle of the next one but requests are still open if y'all are interested #tw homophobia #tw implied/ referenced bullying #tw implied/ referenced violence #tw hyperventilation #tw injury

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aaronhart93-archive · 5 years ago

Text

maybe baby || aaron & eden

Discord thread featuring: Aaron & @wtf-eden

When: November 11, 2020

Where: aaron’s pent

mentions: @masondawson @alison-haynes (briefly @romanbeckett )

Description: eden tells aaron that she thinks she is pregnant and talks to aaron about how she is feeling about it, she spends the night in the guest room because she does not want to go back to mason’s

Trigger Warnings: abortion mentions, pregnancy

Eden.

Eden was thankful that Aaron texted back that he was home. She knew she should have gone home, talked to Mason, but really he was the last person she wanted to talk to right now. The pregnancy test that she had taken had read positive and Eden felt a strong sense of deja vu from when she was twenty three and found out she was pregnant. That was a pregnancy that she chose not to go through with, and very few people knew about that -- one included Aaron, another was Mason. Other than that, that was a secret that broke her family, not that it was ever whole to start with. As Eden got up to the penthouse, she pushed the door to the familiar home open. She was trying to hold it together, though all she really wanted was to scream, punch a wall, and cry. She really wanted to cry. Eden walked up down to the living room, "Hey, sorry to just drop in." It wasn't that she had, she texted she was coming, but it was a bit on the late side.

Aaron

Aaron had been agitated all weekend. He was worried about Roman, and annoyed that he wasn’t really even answering his texts. Des was really the only person keeping from from going mad or doing something stupid. Edens text was kind of alarming to say the least, so he was quick to tell her to come over. It was late, and Des was already in bed before he opened the door. He peered down at her and furrowed his brow. She looked...distressed. “It’s okay. You’re welcome here whenever.” He stepped aside to let her in. “It’s nice to have adult company anyway.” He tried to muster a tiny chuckle. “Is everything okay?” He asked, pushing his glasses up his nose as he faced her.

Eden.

Eden wasn’t really sure why she thought going to Aaron’s would make things better. Nothing was going to be better, that was for sure. But either way, seeing her friend gave her a small bit of happiness inside. “Thanks,” the brunette said, setting her purse down on the shelf nearby. As much as Eden wanted to hold it together, and usually she could, the second he asked if she was okay, she felt tears build in her eyes. She shook her head quickly, “No, I’m not okay.” She admitted.

Aaron

Aaron could immediately sense the tension in the room when she squeaked out a tiny thanks. “Okay okay.” He tried to calm her down. What could possibly be making her so upset. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and lead her over to the living room and sat her down in the couch. It was scary seeing Eden like this. So many scenarios were swirling around in his head. But mason was the first thing that came to mind. Sitting down next to her, he putt his hand on her shoulder and spoke “Did mason do something?” He asked, honestly terrified of the answer.

Eden.

Eden was damn good at hiding her emotions, and if she was upset usually she showed it through anger, not so much crying. But she wasn’t sure if she was even allowed to be angry over this. Eden took the seat on the couch beside her friend — her best friend. Earlier this year, Aaron would have been the last person Eden wanted to speak to about this- but now she needed the kind of friendship he offered. “Y-Yeah.” She said to his question. But had Mason really done anything? They both consented to the sex that led to this, it wasn’t really his fault. Even if Eden wanted to blame him. “He — I— he— fuck.” Eden said, rubbing her face for just a moment. “I think I’m pregnant, Aaron.”

Aaron

Okay. When Eden told Aaron that mason did do something. His literal first thought was how much he actually wanted to beat the shit out of him. Go to his apartment and just sock him right in the face. He knew, of course, Mason would end up winning that fight just based on the fact that he was so much more athletic and fit than Aaron, but that wasn’t going to stop him. Aaron’s eyes were wide as he waited for Eden to tell Aaron what her boyfriend had done. The words that came out of her mouth were surprising, but his shoulder softened just a little bit. He was expecting far worse. Still, he knew what Eden was thinking. He knew she was thinking back to her abortion, how she wasn’t sure if she’d make a good mom, and probably ten thousand other things that Aaron thought when he found out he was having Des. “Oh shit.” He sighed, starting to rub her shoulder lightly. “Did you take a test?” Dumbass. Of course she took a test. “I mean, how many did you take?” He corrected himself.

Eden.

Eden knew that Mason didn't actually do anything wrong. But, she wanted to give the blame to someone, and not to herself. They were both equally guilty in this, hell it took two to tango afterall. Eden didn't feel like she could be a mom, she wasn't even sure she wanted to be a mother, but now she had to make this decision again for the second time in her life. A small part of her regretted the abortion the first time, but the other part of her knew she hadn't been ready to have a child when she was in her young twenties, hell she wasn't even sure she was ready to have a child now at 26. "I took one," Eden said, with a nod. She knew typically woman should take at least two to confirm they were pregnant, but Eden didn't want to go buy another test. She really just needed to talk to someone. "Only one, but it makes sense. I missed my period, and I was nauseous a lot, I thought I had the flu." Eden reminded him.

Aaron

Aaron slumped back on the couch, hand still resting on her shoulder. He was just digesting everything f that Eden had just told him. It was a lot. For sure. And he wasn’t sure how Eden was taking all of it. He had so many questions for her. What was she gonna do? The baby was mason’s, right? Or did she sleep with someone before they got back together. That was awful of Aaron to think but, of course, it crossed his mind. “Oh.” Aaron mumbled, looking straight ahead toward his humongous tv. After a quick beat, he took a deep breath and turned to her. There were a ton of questions Aaron could have asked, but he knew he needed to check in on her first. “Are you okay?” He asked softly.

Eden.

Eden wasn't sure what she wanted to do. She didn't think she could be a mother, nor did she even know if she ever wanted to have a child. Yet now a child was growing inside of her and she had to make a choice on whether or not to carry that child to term. She knew Mason wanted kids, and he'd probably hate her if she had another abortion. But, Eden didn't feel prepared to take on this challenge, not one bit. She shook her head slowly, "No," she squeaked. "I don't know what the hell I'm going to do, Aaron." Eden brought her hands to her face, hiding her face in shame. "Is it terrible of me to even think of termination without telling Mason?" She asked. She knew it was, he had the right to know about it. But, she couldn't not think it.

Aaron.

Once again, Aaron kind of just sat back and took an exacerbated deep breath. He scratched his head a little, again, racking his brain for the right thing to say. "It wouldn't be terrible, no." He told her. It was her body and she could do whatever she wanted to do. She was still distraught, that was clear. So Aaron wrapped a comforting arm around her and brought her in for a little side hug, rubbing her arm in an attempt to comfort her. She was probably absolutely terrified. Then, it hit him. She had told Aaron before she had told Mason about this. Why did that give him a selfish sense of satisfaction? "How far along do you think you are? Should I run out and grab a couple more for you? You didn't get the one from the dollar store did you?" He asked, actually trying to make a little bit of a joke.

Eden.

Eden felt like it would be terrible, Mason wanted kids. She knew that, even if he said he would be fine with never having them if it meant he got to be with her. "But he wants kids. God, what the fuck am I doing? Maybe I should just break up with him, so he can be with someone who can give him what he wants." Eden mentioned. Eden cared about Mason, she did. But when it came to having a family, she was sure the two of them were on completely different wavelengths about it. There also had always been a part of her who regretted terminating her first pregnancy, and maybe the guilt would be bigger this time around, as at least she knew who the father was of this child. Eden shook her head, "I can't be too far. Not even a couple months? Maybe five, six weeks along?" She asked, and a small weak smile appeared at his joke. "No, I got one at CVS." She told him.

Aaron

Aaron sighed. "No one expects you to know what you want right away. You just....have to think about what you want first. Take him out of the equation completely and think about what you want and what you can handle." Lord knows Aaron could barely handle Des at first and he had the support of his mom and his aunt...and millions of dollars at the time. "I can get you another one if you want. Just to make sure. Des is here though so you'd just have to watch her while I'm gone. She's sleeping though so she shouldn't be any trouble. Whatever you want. But...have you talked to Mason about this yet?" He raise a curious brow. "When did you find out?"

Eden.

Aaron was right. Eden had to figure out what she wanted before doing anything else. But, there was so much to think about. Eden wasn’t sure she ever wanted to have kids, and now she had a small amount of time to decide if she wanted this child. “I want to go back to school. I want to have a career. I don’t even know if I ever want kids. I don’t know how to be a parent.” She was sure most people thought that when they were about to have their first child, but she didn’t have the best parents for any sort of guidance or support. “Yeah, maybe I should take a second one.” She agreed. Eden took a deep breath, glancing over at him. “No. I haven’t talked to him yet. I— when I texted you I had just taken the test. I don’t know how to talk to Mason about this.”

Aaron

Aaron frowned, and his heart literally hurt for her. Aaron knew how important going back to school and having a career was to Eden. She was so independent, smart and ambitious. So of course she was going to kick ass in medical school. Aaron pressed his lips together and took a deep breath, nodding when she told him she wanted to take another. He was felt some sort of ugly pride that Eden has told her ex boyfriend before her actually boyfriend. “Okay...” he stood up and put the kettle on to make her some tea. He grabbed several teas from her to pic from and got her out some milk and sugar. “Help yourself. Listen for Des. I’ll be right right.” Before she even had the chance to respond, Aaron was already out the door, walking to the nearest pharmacy, and buy four more pregnancy tests. The man behind counter gave him a sympathetic look. If only he knew. He rushed back in no time and gave her one of the tests. “Okay, pee.”

Eden.

Eden wasn’t sure how to take this information. Maybe it was a false negative, and Eden was overreacting for nothing. Eden hoped that was the case. When Aaron returned, she could pee on another stick and it would be negative. Aaron wasn’t gone for all that long, and Eden sat in his kitchen sipping at the tea. “Thank you,” Eden took the test from him, going down to the bathroom and peeing on yet another stick. Eden pulled the door open while waiting the results, “What were your initial thoughts when you found out Alison was pregnant with Destiny?” She asked. Eden picked the stick up, seeing yet another two pink lines. “Shit”. She mumbled.

Aaron

Aaron made himself some tea of his own while Eden went to go take the test. He was nervous for his friend, but — if she chose to raise the baby — he would be so excited for her. Aaron didn’t ever think he’d understand “the joys of parenthood” until he was actually enjoying them. He leaned with his back against the wall while she peed on the stick and turned to face her when she opened the door. “I was terrified.” He told her honestly. “Then I told her I’d pay for the abortion. Thank god refused or else I wouldn’t have Des today.” He hated even thinking about that but it was true. He peered over at the test and took a sip of his tea. “Are you gonna tell Mason?” He asked quietly. he could feel the tension she was giving off.

Eden.

Eden was a bit relieved upon hearing that Aaron's first thought had also been for Alison to have an abortion. Eden felt like she was the only person in the world, who just didn't want a child. "What was it like?" Eden asked, stepping out of the bathroom to join him in the hallway. "When she told you she wouldn't have the abortion? And then when Destiny was born? Were you still terrified when she was born?" Eden knew this was a decision she didn't have much time to make, and she had to figure it out as soon as possible. Aaron was one of the only people she knew who already had a kid, and a great kid at that. She took a deep breath, "If I tell him, he's going to want to keep the baby. He wants children, and I don't know what I want. But --," Eden bit her lip, "There is still days that I regret terminating my first pregnancy." She admitted. She was sure most of that regret was from her parents disowning her and not so much the abortion though. "Will I feel like the worst person ever if I terminate yet another child?"

Aaron

It made sense that that Eden had so many questions for him. Aaron knew that the best he could do for her right now was to be honest. He leaned his back against the wall to face her abs crossed his arms over his chest. “I mean... it was what it was. I couldn’t force her to have one and I wasn’t going to be an absent parent. I thought about dipping several times while she was pregnant. And... I swear... I know this sound cliche, but I fell in love with her the first time I held her. And I couldn’t even believe I’d thought of termination and running away. She made my life so much better. But it was hard, Eden. Even with nannies, my mom and my aunt around 24/7 to help me.” He told her. He shrugged. “Maybe this is like your second chance. But...no you wouldn’t be terrible if you had another abortion. You could have 100 abortions and you wouldn’t be terrible.” He gave her a tiny smile.

Eden.

Eden was glad to have a friend like Aaron, someone who wasn't afraid to be open and honest with her in a time like this because she needed to hear all of this. "Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if Alison did have an abortion?" She asked. She knew it was a brutal question, but it was something she asked herself all the time. What would her life be like now if she hadn't had an abortion all those years ago. Upon hearing how hard it was, Eden nodded slowly. "Which is what scares me so much. I'm about to go back to school -- and Mason is in the military. He can be deployed at anytime. I don't have a mom or an aunt who can be around 24/7, and I couldn't afford even like -- half a nanny. I feel like if I go through with this pregnancy, that I'll struggle." She admitted to him. Eden took a deep breath, looking to her friend. "Thanks, Aaron. I just -- I never thought I wanted to be a parent. The first time I got pregnant, it was an easy decision to terminate. This time -- I don't know. Part of me is saying to not do it. And Mason -- he'd be a great parent, I'm sure of it. But we're not ready to be parents. I don't think."

Aaron

Aaron nodded slowly. Because yes. He thought all the time about where he’d be, the person he’d be if he didn’t have destiny around to keep him in check. “Yeah. I do. And honestly...my life would be worse. I know it would.” He told her. He hated thinking about it, but he often found himself doing so. Especially during the most precious moments with Destiny. Aaron listened to Eden carefully. “Okay. First of all. You’d be an amazing parent too, Eden.” He told her. “Second of all.” He took a deep breath, almost hesitant to say what he was going to say next. “It kind of sounds like you have your mind made up.” He pressed his lips together after he spoke.

Eden.

Eden nodded at his answer. She had seen it first hand, how Aaron lit up when his daughter was around. No one in their right mind could ever say that Aaron didn't love his kid. And even before she met Destiny, she heard about his daughter all the time. Eden couldn't imagine who Aaron would be without his daughter. Eden looked at him, sadness in her eyes, "I don't know that I would, Aaron. I didn't have the best examples when it comes to my own parents. I don't think I'm very good with kids," Eden hadn't spent a whole ton of time around kids in the past few years. Lately, she had been spending time with Destiny, but she didn't realize that she was really great with her. Eden bit down on her lip, "It does?" She asked, because really Eden had no idea what she wanted. Did she want to be a parent? Part of her did. Did she want to terminate? Another part wanted that too. "Well, can you tell me what my mind has made up then?" She asked.

Aaron

Aaron gave her a friendly pushed on the shoulder and gave her a smirk. “Hey. Are you telling me I’m not a good example of a good parent?” He joked, trying to get a laugh out of her. She was right though. But, Aaron did also have the best influence growing up either. He sighed before answering her question and lead her back to the living room, grabbing them each another cup of tea on the way there. He sat them down and took a deep breath before speaking again. “What I’m hearing is that you’re not ready for kid.” He sighed. “But I wasn’t either. And honestly...you know that I love my dad, but you also know that he wasn’t the greatest dad. I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but I think I’m doing a pretty good job despite the fact that I didn’t have the best influence either. And you have plenty of good parents here in Kingsboro that will help you that I didn’t have.” He said. “There’s even a secret parents club you can join.” He chuckled, nudging her.

Eden.

A soft smile appeared on Eden's lips, "That is not what I meant and you know that." Eden said. "I think you are an excellent parent." She promised. Eden followed him down to the other room and gratefully accepted the cup of tea he handed her. "You are doing a really good job." Anytime Eden saw Aaron with his daughter she thought that. Was anyone really ever ready for a kid? She wasn't too sure. "A secret parents club?" She asked, a small laugh escaping her lips. The brunette felt hopeful, even just a little bit. "I don't feel ready to have a child. But deep down inside there is something telling me to not give this child up this time." Eden admitted quietly. "I just don't want to fuck up with them, like my parents did with me."

Aaron

“Thank you.” That meant so much to him. Aaron shook his head. “You’re not going to fuck up. And you’re amazing even though your parents fucked up big time. We don’t always turn into our parents. I turned out slightly better than my dad and a lot worse than my mom.” He shrugged, chuckling along with her lightly. He was only half kidding. Aaron honestly believed that Eden would make a great parent. There was no doubt about that. She knew how much Eden would love being a mother, but also knew how great of a doctor Eden would make. She had a lot of thinking to do and Aaron knew that her decision wasn’t going to happy tonight though. “You don’t have to decide now. Soon. But you have a few more weeks to think about it.” He reminded her. Then a Pulled her into her shoulder for another hug.

Eden.

There was still so many thoughts swirling around in Eden's head. There were reasons why Eden would want to terminate the pregnancy, but the pro list for reasons on why Eden should keep the baby was long too. She knew the next few days or weeks were going to be filled with a whole lot of thinking. "It's hard to think I won't. I have very few people to look at that are good examples of being a parent, you're one of them. But, I wouldn't want to do wrong by my child, and I feel as though I'm not a great role model for a child to look up too." Eden admitted. Though she did know, Aaron himself probably thought similar things. Hell, he had just recently gone to rehab for a drinking problem but still was an incredible parent. Eden leaned into the hug, holding Aaron tightly, "Thank you." She said, pulling away slightly. "Do you think -- would it be okay if I crashed here tonight? I just, I don't want to go home and talk to Mason yet."

Aaron

Aaron actually laughed. “Eden. I made an ass of myself on MTV for a year, worked in the porn industry, and have dozens of terrible articles out about me. You think you’re a bad influence. We all do dumb shit, then our kid changes us.” He nodded. “Of course you can stay here tonight. I’ll get the guest room ready.” As he stood up, he heard Des start to cry. He waved Eden to follow him to her room. “She been having nightmares lately.” He informed her before opening the child’s door. “Hi baby. Edens here too. Did you have another nightmare.” He waved Eden to follow him in before he knelt down at Des’ bedside. She describe some of her dream to them before Aaron (badly) sang her back to sleep.

Eden.

Well, that was true. Eden hadn't watched all of Rich Kids, but had seen enough to know that Aaron did surely make a fool of himself on MTV. Something his own kid could watch one day if she chose to do so. "Thank you. I'm not ready to face him tonight." Eden knew once she saw Mason, she'd most likely break down and tell him the truth about what was going on with her. Eden raised an eyebrow when he motioned for her to follow him. Eden quietly moved down the hall, as they got to Destiny's room. She followed him inside, getting down next to Aaron and listening to the small blonde describe her nightmare. Aaron made it look so easy to be a parent, she watched as he sang -- awfully -- to the small girl, but a small smile grew as she got sleepier and drifted back to sleep. If Eden did go through with this pregnancy, she could only hope she'd be the kind of parent that Aaron was.

#discord #eden

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supposed2bfunny · 6 years ago

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2doc Week Day 7-First Kiss

Rating: T

Warnings: Mentions of sex, alcohol, drugs, the usual

Wow, we’re at the last day just like that. Big thanks to everyone who participated, and by all means, keep using the tag if you continue to work with any of the prompts. Hope everyone had fun and maybe met some new members of the community!! <3 <3 <3

For three days, Stuart had been losing sleep and fearing for his life, and it was starting to show.

He could blame his jittery behavior and near constant mouthful of pills on the jetlag at first. After all, he’d never been to Japan, and adjusting to such a different time zone was no easy feat. He could tell that the others were weary from it all too. But when they returned to Kong after wrapping up the first half of their tour, spent yet exhilarated from the experience, he didn’t feel any better.

It got worse.

Because back in Kong with the four of them recharging and relaxing under one roof, Stuart could not help but face Murdoc almost constantly, his head spinning with guilt at what he’d done, and at the bassist’s own cluelessness.

He was a creep, a sodding awful friend. A liar.

“This is just the beginning,” Murdoc had spoken around the lip of a bottle of cognac. He’d been saying that nonstop on the tour, though his voice was particularly querulous that night. The thrill of touring, of performing live (behind a curtain, granted, but live nonetheless) to venues full of screaming fans had electrified him, and he was living the rockstar life he’d been aspiring to for the past decade of his life like he was trying to make up for lost time.

Stuart had never seen a man drink so much, snort so much, and fuck so much, oftentimes all at the same time. Not that he minded. On this particular night, he realized that Murdoc was teetering at the edge of his limits, even for him. So, with Russel out with Noodle to try some of Tokyo’s top-quality sushi (“when in Rome, do as the Romans do,” the drummer had said, “when in Japan, eat the sea”), he found himself tasked with making sure Murdoc didn’t take himself out Bonzo style.

An especially tough task since the singer had already imbibed half his weight in Sapporos and a couple of naproxen for his migraine.

“Yeah,” he prodded the bassist along when Murdoc fell quiet, head lulling a bit with exhaustion, bottle of liquor threatening to fall from his hands onto the hotel floor. “Just the beginning, Muds? Tell me more.”

Keeping the older man talking until he sobered up was probably the best idea, he figured. He wasn’t sure how he would pull that off, but Murdoc seldom needed much prompting to talk up a storm.

“Mate, you’n’me. Gonna…gonna tour every country on the map. Then the moon.” Murdoc had a bit of a stammer, Stuart had learned. It came out when he was drinking and not as sharp-minded as usual. He stumbled over words, tended to start phrases and then change them halfway through his sentences. It was interesting to learn that even something as simple as talking seemed to take extra consideration for Murdoc. To simply hold a conversation meant clearing hurdles.

Stuart spent his time vacillating between finding these details of Murdoc’s life sad and endearing. Tonight, beer softened his sentiments, and he was leaning towards the latter.

“I’d like that. We’ll sound good on the moon,” he agreed. “Great acoustics, I hear. Right, Murdoc, the acoustics are good?” Stay awake, you stupid sod.

Murdoc’s unfocused eyes slid across the room and snagged on his, suddenly focusing so sharply that Stuart’s heart skipped and he felt himself start to sweat under his arms a little bit. How could Murdoc look at him so intensely when he was so altered?The mis-matched gaze did not let up. The bassist spent a lot of his time staring at the singer, but to hold eye contact with him like this was rare. Intimidating. Electric.

“You’ll sound fucking brilliant wherever you sing, mate,” he replied, and Stuart felt warm suddenly; he rose to open the window, stumbling over a few empty beer bottles on his way across the bedroom. “Your voice carrying across the stage. Satan, the stuff of wet dreams.”

“That’s a weird way to compliment someone.”

“I’m not complimenting…wasn’t trying to compliment you.”

Stuart took a few deep breaths of fresh air, then crossed back to resume sitting in the chair beside the bed where the older man was sprawled, but Murdoc reached out, caught his wrist, eyes defiant despite his intoxication.

“What, Muds?”

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

“Okay, I heard you.” What was it then, a come-on? He jerked his hand out of the bassist’s grip, trying to shove that idea out of his head. “You’ve sounded good too, you know. You’re good live. The fans go crazy for you.”

“Of course they do. You see what I do with my hips. Between your looks and my…zest, we carry the band’s sex appeal. It’s a two-man job. We create, we establish that tension.”

“We sure do, mate. Can I get you some water?” Because he did not want to sit around talking about his sex appeal with Murdoc any more. Especially since his heart was beating faster, and the tips of his fingers felt pins and needles prickly. Must be a result of the drugs. Mixed with the damn beers. Mixed with the fact that he felt high every time he was alone with Murdoc.

“You ever shagged a bloke?” Murdoc asked arbitrarily, and Stuart could swear that the room tilted a bit in that moment.

“Excuse me?”

The older man’s eyes were still on him. On his mouth, his hands, always coming back to his eyes. He was glazed with liquor; he didn’t care how embarrassed the singer looked. His words simply had to come out.

“Have you?”

“No, Murdoc,” he replied, again crossing the room, this time to the mini fridge, and his relief to find mini bottles of water was overwhelming. It took a long time for him to manage to twist the small bottle open. He didn’t bother to ask if Murdoc had ever shagged a bloke. He didn’t want to know. “Gotta use the loo. I’ll be right back. Don’t choke on your own vomit, okay?”

“Hm,” Murdoc responded, eyes wandering up to consider the room’s molding as the singer legged it to the bathroom.

Stuart took his time, rinsing his face with cold water, downing the bottle from the fridge and tossing the container into the trashcan. Wasn’t Japan big on recycling? Fuck it. He was practically on vacation.

He smoothed his hair, tried not to think about what in Murdoc’s confused brain would bring him to ask such a question. By the time he made it back out, Murdoc had fallen asleep; his nose made a slight whistling noise as he breathed through it, and Stuart knew him well enough to know that it was only a matter of minutes before his mouth opened so he could breath that way instead. His nasal passages were so busted that he was doomed to sleep looking corpselike, mouth hung open and loud snores imminent.

In the meantime, he was still and he was quiet. And Stuart came to stand over him, looking at the open bottle of cognac somehow unspilled in his arms, at the gleam of his gold cross, at the faint stubble on his chin. Keeping him talking had been a bad idea, the singer decided. Better to let Murdoc sleep the alcohol off and keep an eye on him.

And while he had this moment to himself…

Alone in a foreign country with no one else around, Stuart leaned down and pressed his lips very softly against Murdoc’s.

He pulled back, heart hammering, entire face hot with shame. He flicked on the television, listening to the news in Japanese for a bit.

Five minutes later, Murdoc’s mouth hung open as he snored and Stuart was working through a few more Sapporos. Ten minutes later, Murdoc was flying awake to lean over the edge of the bed and vomit all over the carpet. The sight alone set off the singer’s gag reflex, and he joined in, prompting a late-night visit from an overly polite but clearly distressed staff member.

It didn’t matter that nobody knew what had happened. Because that didn’t’ change the fact that Stuart had taken advantage, kissed Murdoc when he was asleep and unable to turn down the gesture. His anonymity only increased his guilt.

So he was dismayed when Murdoc barged into his room without knocking on the third day back from their tour, looking grumpy and exhausted.

“This heart-felt moment has been brought to you by the Russel Hobbs Federation of Social Niceties,” he spat kicking at the coils of wires that Stu had arranged around the keyboard he was tinkering with, trying to be useful, trying to keep busy.

“What does that even mean?” he asked, confused, and not making efforts to get up off the floor.

“It means Russ has been giving me a hard time. Because apparently I did something to upset you.”

Stuart had gone out of his way to avoid Murdoc since The Incident, so he was surprised to hear that Russel thought the bassist had been getting into fights with him. “No, Muds. You haven’t done anything. Can you close the door on your way out? Also maybe try knocking next time—”

“Slow down there, Crawley, Stills, and Nash.”

“How long’ve you been waiting to use that nonsensical nickname?” he couldn’t help but smile at the bassist’s wit, matched only by his lack of logic, and Murdoc caught his smile and looked pleased.

“Think that’s the first time I’ve seen you smile since we left Tokyo.”

And just like that, his expression clouded.

“Faceache. Seriously. I haven’t the faintest idea what I’ve done to upset you, but I’ve noticed it, Russel noticed it, and if the way she points her spoon at me when she eats her cereal in the morning, even Noodle’s onto it. Everyone here assumes I’ve upset you, so go ahead and let me know what I’ve done so I can decide whether or not to bother saying I won’t do it again.”

Stuart looked down at the auxiliary cord in his hand and sighed. “I promise, you didn’t do anything wrong. You’re all right; I’ve been acting a little weird. But it really wasn’t your fault. I did something I shouldn’t have. Trying to sort out what to do about it now.”

Murdoc looked intrigued. “We going to have someone ringing the door in nine months time asking for child support?”

The singer pulled a face. “Of course not! Nothing like that!”

“Right,” Murdoc looked unconvinced, but now there was something else on his features. Mild alarm. Stuart realized with a rush that the bassist was getting concerned for him. “What was it then? Nobody hurt you, did they? Mate, I’m being honest when I tell you I remember about seven minutes total from Tokyo. I know you were drinking a lot too. If anyone hurt you—”

“No one hurt me!” he snapped, rising to his feet so he could loom over Murdoc, who instantly stepped back a bit so he wouldn’t have to crane his neck so much to meet the singer’s eyes. “Maybe you should go.”

“You join the Yakuza?” Murdoc asked, ignoring his suggestion, turning nasty to keep the singer from clamming up more.

Stuart took the bait at once. “No! Look I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Nothing illicit like that, got it? You haven’t done anything wrong, and since you didn’t want to be here in the first place, I don’t see why you won’t just leave me alone!”

“Well because now I’m intrigued by little Stu’s bad behavior,” he replied, smug.

“Piss off, Murdoc.”

“C’mon, just tell me what went wrong!”

“No, get out of my room—”

“I won’t breathe it to another soul!”

“Murdoc get ou—”

“You’ll feel better if you just say it, mate—”

“I kissed a man,” Stuart seethed.

Murdoc froze so dramatically that the singer could practically hear the comedic record scratch. “Well. That’s certainly not like joining the Yakuza at all. Stepping out of the closet, are you?”

“No,” he said tersely, feeling a headache coming on anew. “Just wanted to try it. So I did. And uh, it’s been on my mind ever since. Happy now?”

The bassist certainly didn’t look happy. He stared at Stu with a look akin to betrayal on his face. The singer flinched when his mouth opened, awaiting the stream of homophobic slurs that would no doubt become his new nicknames.

“Did you like it?” he asked.

The singer was caught off guard. “He didn’t really kiss back,” he admitted. “So, it wasn’t really a good, satisfying kiss. I can’t say. You uh, you probably don’t remember. But you got really drunk one night and asked if I’d ever been with a man. I had never considered it, but you made me think about it. So, uh. That’s how it happened.”

“Glad to know I inspired you to get out of your comfort zone,” Murdoc said, a lackluster smile on his mouth.

“Too bad it wasn’t a real kiss though,” Stuart said, and why the hell did he say that? As though Murdoc cared one bit for how satisfying his half-true dalliances were.

“Would you…” Murdoc took a step forward, his neck bending back a bit to hold the singer’s gaze. “Would you want to see what it’s like? A proper kiss, that is.”

There were no liquor bottles this time. No pills so he could pretend this moment was a fabrication of his drug-addled brain. His chest felt tight and his fingertips were going a little numb with adrenaline again. And there was Murdoc, smelling of cigarettes, his eyes not narrowed like they usually were, expression unreadable. They both knew the answer to the question.

He had been asking it himself since he’d blurted out what he’d done in Tokyo.

“Y…yes.”

Murdoc didn’t wait for any further social cues. He closed the space between them, jutting his face up to meet the singer’s mouth, kissed him like they’d done it a million times before: no hesitation, no doubt, just the firm warmth of lips against his.

Stuart’s head spun with the sensation, and he reached out, wanting to touch the older man, deciding against it last-minute. His hands remained frozen between their chests and Murdoc tilted his head slightly, let their lips drag against each other a bit, and the singer had to fight off the urge to moan softly. It was more than acceptable. It was intoxicating.

Just like that, the bassist pulled back, searching Stuart’s eyes like there was text there he couldn’t quite figure out how to read.

“Alright, dents?”

“Yeah.”

“You look ready to keel over.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you?”

“Yeah. No, wait. No!”

He smiled, but not even close to a sincere one. “Did I repel you, then?” he asked. “It was just a kiss, 2D. We never have to do it again, so don’t look so bloody stricken.”

“I’m not stricken. I mean, I was surprised, Muds,” he admitted, looking away, at the keyboard he had set out to fix and had only dismantled. “Like, surprised by how much I liked it.”

“Hm,” the bassist considered his answer, then his expression brightened a bit. “Well, if it wasn’t the worst thing you ever experienced, we could always try it again.”

“Oh!” he was blushing now, how utterly humiliating. Blushing and stumbling for words and taking a few steps back. “I mean, I hadn’t considered that. We just did a second ago, do you really think we should do it again so soon—”

Murdoc was following each step he took, and suddenly the singer’s back was against the wall and he knew that he was losing the chance to deescalate the situation. If he asked the bassist to back off, he knew Murdoc would.

Instead, he let his eye fall mostly closed, focusing on the bassist’s mouth.

“Yeah, alright.”

“Hm. That’s nice, pet, very nice,” he purred, voice so low that Stuart could feel more than hear it.

Then Murdoc’s mouth was on his again, and when his shoulders hit the wall seconds later and the bassist’s hands rose to pin them there, he let himself moan like he’d been wanting to.

By the time Murdoc pulled away from his wet lips, pressing a last peck to the corner of his mouth, looking at him through his fringe with his breath quickened and fluttery, Stuart knew he had to set the record straight about what had happened in Tokyo.

Not right away, of course. For the present, he could use that jealousy that he tasted on Murdoc’s tongue to his advantage. He had quite a few more kisses he wanted from the bassist.

#2doc #2docweek #2docweek2019 #day7 first kiss #2doc fanfiction #i kinda hate this piece and i may go back and rewrite it one day #but with 45 minutes to go before today ends i had to publish something!!#phase 1 stu just has a huge crush and doesn't know what to do about it!!

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personalityisnice · 7 years ago

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Embarrassing Phases: End Card Analysis, The Dark Sides, And What The Future Holds.

So, let’s get straight (or not straight, as it were) to the part of the video that justifiably made everybody lose their minds. This is another long one folks, so settle in with a nice beverage.

What can we glean from that End Card?

For one, what was only hinted at in CLBG is more or less confirmed: that Virgil and Deceit know each other, and well. Virgil is displeased but in no way surprised to see Deceit in his room, in contrast to how he reacted to the other Sides popping in during the End Card of AA pt. 2. This, along with Virgil’s body language, gestures, general attitude and the fact that he is easily able to navigate a conversation with his uninvited guest despite said guest’s oblique and circuitous way of speaking, suggests that this is, or at one point was, a common occurrence.

(And I need to take a moment to commend Thomas’ acting here because with very little time and very few lines he gets across just how done Virgil is with our resident snek, as if he’s heard this spiel a million times before and it’s long since gotten past the point of boring. I love it so much.)

This is all compounded by what Deceit has to say. He indirectly implies that Virgil is pretending to be someone that he isn't, that the outfit he generally wears is a costume, and tells him to keep up with his personal growth, as if that’s something he’s been keeping tabs on. All this suggests a familiarity; that Deceit knows who the real Virgil is, and it’s not who he’s pretending to be now. Virgil disagrees, (as do I) but he doesn't argue this on the basis that Deceit doesn't know him well enough to make that call. The idea Deceit intimates, that he and Virgil have an extended history for him to draw his conclusion from, goes unchallenged.

So what does that mean? It suggests, even if it doesn't explicitly confirm, that a theory a lot of us have had for a while now is in fact true. That Virgil used to work with the Dark Sides.

Now, if this theory is true, it begs the question: why aren't they working together anymore? What happened? What was the catalyst for the split? And....

When did it happen?

I think it’s safe to say that if this hypothetical split took place, it predated the start of the series. Perhaps even by years. Why do I think so? Virgil’s views on lying. If you go back and rewatch the series after CLBG, your ears will perk up every time the subject of deception is broached. And Virgil, in particular, brings it up often. Surprisingly often. For example:

A New Year of Lying to Myself - This one is the most obvious. Virgil tries to dissuade Thomas and the others from making New Year’s Resolutions, as he insists they’ll just end up abandoned. He describes them, repeatedly through song, as lies.

The Dark Side of Disney - Here Roman and Virgil get into a debate about the various bits of fridge horror lurking throughout the animated Disney canon. The dark side of Aladdin? The fact that the protagonist achieves his goals through ‘lying and deceiving’. (Also, just the title of this episode is actually kind of hilarious in hindsight.)

Alone on Valentines Day - After Patton says that it’s still possible for Thomas to get a date for the holiday, Virgil chides him with: “Morality, don’t lie to him.” (As a bonus, there’s all the Sides’ reactions to the context Logan provides for Roman’s Shakespeare quote.)

Making Some Changes - Virgil Not Being Cool with everyone shape shifting into Thomas’ friends.

Can Lying Be Good? - Virgil is against lying from the start, very obviously picks up on Patton’s acting out of character early on in the video and keeps a suspicious eye on his fellow Side throughout.

Now, if Virgil was still partnered with the Dark Sides at the start of the series, it would make more sense for him to encourage dishonesty, or at the very least sit back and let it happen. Instead he actively tries to dissuade the Main Sides from lying. But why push them to be truthful? Why bother with that if he hadn't already split off from the Dark Sides and was looking for ways to thwart their efforts? Based on Virgil’s behavior, if a schism happened, it makes the most sense that it happened before the start of the series.

Leading off from that conclusion, let’s double back to one of our original questions: what could've caused said schism? If Virgil and the Dark Sides used to work together, why aren't they now?

Well….there is a theory.

The theory in question.

I've seen it in theory posts and fics before now, but until the last video dropped I wasn't sure the Sanders Sides crew was willing to Go There. But it looks like they just might be planning to. So let’s explore that possibility.

This latest entry in the Sanders Sides canon was about past shameful phases. That’s the theme of the video where we get Deceit and Virgil arguing over whether the latter has escaped a shameful phase or is in one now. It’s also the same video where we get our first mention of a specific phase of Thomas’ life. Namely, the Girl Phase. This phase is not elaborated on, but it’s pretty easy to figure out. Roman even describes Thomas as being “so repressed”.

But here’s the thing. Repression is being in denial. About who you are, what you feel, and what you want. To be in denial is to deceive yourself. Deception, particularly self-deception….

…now, just whose job would that be..?

Because there’s something startling that I realized while turning this idea over in my head like an unidentified jewel. Repressing as big a part of yourself as your sexual orientation doesn't mean just telling one lie. It’s having to tell multiple lies. Repeatedly. Every day of your life.

It’s spending the majority of your time lying to yourself, lying to loved ones, lying to strangers….Not just through word, but through deed and presentation. (The way you talk, act, dress, etc.) It’s lying to yourself every time you feel something for someone you think you’re not supposed to. It’s lying to anyone you try to date to convince both them and yourself that you’re totally straight. It’s a never ending crusade against the tide inside your own head. It never stops. And having to lie so much, all the time….that isn't a partnership you’re in with the deceitful side of yourself; it’s ownership.

But it’s not just the snek. There’s a lot of anxiety to be had in denying who you really are. Dreading what someone will accuse you of being if you slip up for even a second. Worrying if doing one thing or another is the right (straight) thing to do, or the right (straight) way to do it. Always, always being on guard, no matter what’s going on or what you’re doing. It’s one of the things that not only gets you in the closet but locks the door behind you. Your life becomes a veritable parade of second guessing, insecurity and paranoia.

And if the other Dark Sides embody emotions or concepts that contribute to or flourish under repression….well….

We don’t know exactly what things were like between the Sides before the start of the series, but I think I can make a guess as to what they were like during Thomas’ Girl Phase. I think that back then, the Dark Sides would've actually been the ones who were, albeit covertly, running the show. So in present day, they wouldn't be trying to gain influence and power they've never had. What they would be trying to do is regain the power they've lost. Because of a traitor.

That’s what I think the break would've been about. I think Virgil would've been the first of the Dark Sides to realize that lying to himself wasn't helping Thomas. Virgil even specifically says in Growing Up that Thomas living a life he isn't happy with “[Would] give me more work to do. And I do not like to work hard." I can’t say for sure which Side it would've been that started the ball rolling on Thomas’ realization, but I would be willing to bet Virgil would've been something like the tie-breaking vote on the issue. This then would've led to him abandoning the Dark Sides and…well, largely operating alone until AA pt2.

And in operating alone, either because the Dark Sides would've gotten it so wrong about what Thomas needed or because they wouldn't have cared about what he needed as long as they had as much influence over him as possible, Virgil would've been trying to protect Thomas and the others from them. Hence his contention with Thomas and the other Sides about lying, to themselves or to others.

How it relates to the video.

I can’t help but wonder. This episode and the last has Virgil trying to re-establish himself as…well, the dude who freaks everybody out. Or at least the dude who can.

Is it possible the reasons he gave for that are not the only reasons? If Virgil used to hang with the Dark Sides, he’d know a lot about them, or at least more than Thomas and the others probably know at this point. Which means he could tell the others about them: what they are, their purposes, what kinds of trouble they like to get up to, what to look out for to spot their influence….Virgil could theoretically tell the others and Thomas everything they’d need to know to catch the Dark Sides in the act of getting up to mischief.

That is, if Deceit would let him. And Deceit’s not going to let him.

So would Virgil think, since he can’t just tell them what to expect, that his only recourse is to scare and intimidate them away from things that he thinks will hurt them? And he can’t employ that strategy if no one is afraid of him or takes him seriously anymore? Was that why he acted that way in the first place? Since he couldn't say anything, did he figure he’d just frighten them away from falling under the sway of the Dark Sides? And is there an element of guilt there too? Because he used to be a part of a group he now sees as not being a healthy influence on Thomas’ life?

The Dark Sides.

As for the Dark Sides…what is their deal, anyway? What can we ascertain about the individual Dark Sides we’ve yet to meet and what the three of them might be like as a group from what we've seen so far? Well, in the event the Dark Sides were the orchestrators and/or benefactors of Thomas’ repression, it’s clear why they’re the antagonists of this story. However, I think there’s more to it than that. @ironwoman359, in her analysis of the end card, pointed out that the difference between Deceit and our protagonists is that he is “utterly unwilling to compromise on his desires and his methods” in procuring Thomas’ self-preservation.

I think this hits the nail on the head, but I want to take it a step farther.

The series operates on two levels, as I said before: the character and symbolic. On each level, the series has a general moral or mission statement. On the character level, it’s about open communication, debate, and sharing ideas with others. Basically, hearing people out and sharing your concerns with them, as opposed to assuming you know how they feel and/or stewing in your own insecurities and resentments that may or may not be misplaced. On the symbolic level, it’s about listening to yourself. Taking honest stock of what you feel and why you feel it. Being open to learning new things about yourself and reaching a better understanding of your inner world to promote your own well being. The Dark Sides, from what we’ve seen, run counter to the message of this series on both levels.

Taking a look at things from the character level, Deceit is not interested in debate. At all. It’s not just that he wants to steer the other Sides towards deception, it’s that he does everything he can to get them to do what he wants without them realizing he’s doing so. He insures there can’t be a debate by not allowing anyone else to figure out there’s one to be had in the first place. This, of course, fits the concept of deception like a glove. You can’t be deceptive and have an honest discussion at the same time.

And….when we first meet him, Virgil wasn't much different. He was similarly disinterested in hearing the others out. This changes over time, of course, but in his earlier videos he’s all about intimidation. Using the fear of all the bad things that could happen to try to scare Thomas into, usually, not doing something. Alternatively, he would try to railroad over the other Sides suggestions by portraying them as foolish and/or too idealistic to work.

Based on these two, I’m gonna guess the other Dark Sides are equally disinterested in debate, and have their own strategies for peddling their advice and influence that is similarly aggressive or manipulative or just generally indirect and tricky to pin down. They won’t be receptive to what the other Sides have to say and they won’t bother to consider what things might look like from the other Sides’ points of view (though one or both of them may pretend that they do as part of their strategy). Our last two dark boys are only going to want their views heard and their plans carried out. And they’re going to be willing to do whatever they need to in order to accomplish that. They will not be above emotional manipulation, intimidation and other under handed tactics to get what they want, and they won’t question themselves or whatever mission they’re on at any given time. As far as they’ll be concerned, they’re right, and the goal will be just to get everyone to submit to their rightness by any means necessary, their targets’ desires be damned.

Assuming that all of this is correct, what does this mean for the future?

Basically, the Dark Sides are the boss fights to the regular episodes’ grinding. Imagine, if you will, CLBG but without the soul searching that Patton and Roman did in MO. Without Virgil having become an ally since AA. It’s…uh, not pleasant to think about. We’re due to meet another Dark Side soon (in fact I think Deceit’s “soon you’ll be rid of us all” bit was specifically meant to be in and out of universe mirrored foreshadowing) and what the boys have been up to lately has the potential to help with that.

It goes back to what I touched on in the LNTAO analysis. The subject of belittlement. Being made to feel small or as if something is wrong with you can go hand-in-hand with repression. If you find a part of yourself shameful, you might want to hide it away even from yourself. This is how a lot of people get trapped in emotional and other types of abusive relationships; the abusive partner convinces their victim that their justifiable anger or outrage is them being childish or unreasonable. The victim doesn't want to be childish or unreasonable, so they repress that anger and eventually no longer understand what they’re feeling and why they feel awful all the time.

If all the Dark Sides operate similarly, then Thomas’ and the other Sides’ challenge will be to learn to recognize their tactics and not fall victim to them. To not buy into the supposition that there are things about them that are shameful and should be repressed.

Taking it all the way back to the top, look at how Deceit frames Virgil’s development. He downplays the progress our boy has made by suggesting it’s all just Virgil playing pretend. He’s not only telling Virgil he hasn't changed, he’s implying that Virgil is unqualified to judge. Boy couldn't be more patronizing if he tried. Or....well, he couldn't be more belittling if he tried.

And on top of that, he says that said playing pretend won’t stop the other Dark Sides from messing around with the others and Thomas in the future. And, in fact, it just might hasten their aggressions. Deceit not only belittles Virgil’s growth in order to get him to see it as pointless to keep trying, but gives a subtle threat: that if Virgil keeps going the way he is it won’t just be Deceit he and the others might have to deal with.

This is what our boys are going to need to learn to navigate. On a character level, the Sides are going to need to learn just how it is that each Dark Side operates and how not to let them exploit their individual insecurities and ensnare them in their mind games. On a symbolic level, Thomas has to learn to see through the unhealthy attitudes he’s picked up from our crappy society and understand that the belittling attitudes he holds towards himself (attitudes that suggest there are generally unpleasant truths or things that are just inherently wrong with him that need to be repressed) are unhealthy and shouldn’t be heeded. Thomas doesn’t need the urge to hide who he is serving as the guiding light for his thoughts, feelings and behavior. He can just….decide for himself what he wants to do and the direction he wants his life to take.

#Sanders Sides #Sanders Sides Analysis #character analysis #Logan Sanders #Roman Sanders #Patton Sanders #Virgil Sanders #Deceit Sanders #The Dark Sides #Virgil Sanders character analysis #Embarrassing Phases #Embarrassing Phases: The Nightmare Instead of Christmas #The Nightmare Instead of Christmas #End Card #Embarrassing Phases End Card #Embarrassing Phases: The Nightmare Instead of Christmas End Card #Thomas Sanders

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