#ambivalent representation
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angevinyaoiz · 1 year ago
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tliw was wild for making Richard a problematic gay .....the devil's crown was wild for making him problematic gay AND transgender
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fursasaida · 2 years ago
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This article is from 2022, but it came up in the context of Palestine:
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Here are some striking passages, relevant to all colonial aftermaths but certainly also to the forms we see Zionist reaction taking at the moment:
Over the decade I lived in South Africa, I became fascinated by this white minority [i.e. the whole white population post-apartheid as a minority in the country], particularly its members who considered themselves progressive. They reminded me of my liberal peers in America, who had an apparently self-assured enthusiasm about the coming of a so-called majority-minority nation. As with white South Africans who had celebrated the end of apartheid, their enthusiasm often belied, just beneath the surface, a striking degree of fear, bewilderment, disillusionment, and dread.
[...]
Yet these progressives’ response to the end of apartheid was ambivalent. Contemplating South Africa after apartheid, an Economist correspondent observed that “the lives of many whites exude sadness.” The phenomenon perplexed him. In so many ways, white life remained more or less untouched, or had even improved. Despite apartheid’s horrors—and the regime’s violence against those who worked to dismantle it—the ANC encouraged an attitude of forgiveness. It left statues of Afrikaner heroes standing and helped institute the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which granted amnesty to some perpetrators of apartheid-era political crimes.
But as time wore on, even wealthy white South Africans began to radiate a degree of fear and frustration that did not match any simple economic analysis of their situation. A startling number of formerly anti-apartheid white people began to voice bitter criticisms of post-apartheid society. An Afrikaner poet who did prison time under apartheid for aiding the Black-liberation cause wrote an essay denouncing the new Black-led country as “a sewer of betrayed expectations and thievery, fear and unbridled greed.”
What accounted for this disillusionment? Many white South Africans told me that Black forgiveness felt like a slap on the face. By not acting toward you as you acted toward us, we’re showing you up, white South Africans seemed to hear. You’ll owe us a debt of gratitude forever.
The article goes on to discuss:
"Mau Mau anxiety," or the fear among whites of violent repercussions, and how this shows up in reported vs confirmed crime stats - possibly to the point of false memories of home invasion
A sense of irrelevance and alienation among this white population, leading to another anxiety: "do we still belong here?"
The sublimation of this anxiety into self-identification as a marginalized minority group, featuring such incredible statements as "I wanted to fight for Afrikaners, but I came to think of myself as a ‘liberal internationalist,’ not a white racist...I found such inspiration from the struggles of the Catalonians and the Basques. Even Tibet" and "[Martin Luther] King [Jr.] also fought for a people without much political representation … That’s why I consider him one of my most important forebears and heroes,” from a self-declared liberal environmentalist who also thinks Afrikaaners should take back government control because they are "naturally good" at governance
Some discussion of the dynamics underlying these reactions, particularly the fact that "admitting past sins seem[ed] to become harder even as they receded into history," and US parallels
And finally, in closing:
The Afrikaner journalist Rian Malan, who opposed apartheid, has written that, by most measures, its aftermath went better than almost any white person could have imagined. But, as with most white progressives, his experience of post-1994 South Africa has been complicated. [...]
He just couldn’t forgive Black people for forgiving him. Paradoxically, being left undisturbed served as an ever-present reminder of his guilt, of how wrongly he had treated his maid and other Black people under apartheid. “The Bible was right about a thing or two,” he wrote. “It is infinitely worse to receive than to give, especially if … the gift is mercy.”
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casscainmainly · 7 months ago
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As much as I love Duke and Damian being the most adorable brothers ever, the tension between them is way underutilised. They both have very tenuous relationships to the Robin identity, and if you look at their interactions in Robin War, it's shot through with insecurity and dislike:
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Specifically, Damian consistently refutes Duke's right to Robin. Robin War is the event that leads Duke to quitting Robin, and arguably he does this mostly because of Damian; Tim and Jason don't really interact with Duke, and Dick essentially endorses him. But the beef is not one-sided, because Duke consistently hits on Damian's insecurities as well:
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Damian belittles Duke's friends and entire cause; Duke highlights how unwanted and abandoned Damian is. They are simultaneous Robins with incompatible views of what Robin should be. Damian, fresh from his journey in Robin: Son of Batman, sees Robin as atonement, a link to Batman, and a representation of his personal growth; Duke, in the middle of We Are Robin, sees Robin as power, freedom from adult authority, and a representation of collective community.
The worst thing Damian can say about Duke is that his Robin is meaningless; the worst thing Duke can say about Damian is that his Robin is alone. They both say that to each other. And then, they both give up Robin:
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In Duke's case, he precedes saying "I'm not Robin" with "that's the difference between you and me." Their Robins are so wildly different, their ideals so opposed to each other, that they cannot co-exist as Robin. The risk of losing what Robin means to them, especially for Damian, fuels a lot of their early animosity.
This opposition continues in Batman & The Signal #1, where in Duke's dream sequence, there is only one person he imagines wanting to oust him from the family - Damian. But Bruce also pits Damian and Duke against each other in Batman: The Secret Files: The Signal, in Duke's favour:
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Bruce drags Damian down ('requires continuous supervision') to uplift Duke ('Gotham's best'). The writing in this comic is very questionable, but this is reminiscent of the way he talked to Cass about Steph in Batgirl (2000). Cass is the acceptable girl vs. Steph's unacceptable femininity; in a similar vein, Duke is the acceptable Batkid of colour, whereas Damian's heritage is 'inconvenient'.
Which is why it's all the more important that, despite everything, Damian and Duke do love each other.
Damian, despite all his (understandable) ambivalence and outward disdain towards Duke, pretty much spends the entire comic trying to save him:
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And Duke, when Damian defects to the Owls, staunchly refuses to believe he's gone for good. Tim and Jason also protest, but they get knocked out pretty quickly. It's Duke who refuses to give up on Damian. It's Duke who won't leave Damian alone.
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Even though their Robins are complete opposites, Duke and Damian both know how big a deal it is to choose Robin; as the two Robins of colour (besides Dick, whose position is slightly different), they know how easily Robin can be taken away. It's why Duke, a virtual stranger, is the one to break through to Damian when nobody else could.
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This panel from the end of Robin War hits so hard in context. Every interaction up until this point is antagonistic, and they have every reason to hate each other - but they don't. They choose not to. They choose to love each other instead.
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trueknave · 20 days ago
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“A mare? A mare?!” You’re so transmasc Amalthea
Amalthea the last unicorn ftm allegory the moment that she’s forced to exist as a human woman—IN a woman’s body—she falls into despair and nearly loses her sense of self. When she comes back to being a unicorn, she’s permanently altered by the fact that she’s been the only unicorn to know the sense of sadness and grief that came from that experience. Is this anything.
#sorry grew up w this book & movie#means a lot to me and I’ve been ruminating on how to read Amalthea and unicorns overall my entire life#I think unicorns in the context of the last unicorn stand to be read as allegories for a lot of things#but specific to queer allegories as a category I think they read pretty clearly as transgender in nature#Amalthea being read as ftm to me is not just projection towards these two specific instances#she has a deeply unhappy song about her changes in quote unquote becoming a woman#ultimately she doesn’t want it—she’s not happy and hasn’t once been#and I think the nail in the coffin for her being read as such is the fact that all of it was meant to protect her from imminent death#and then a vehicle to learn more of the fate of the rest of the unicorns#essentially a facade that she hates#though she reads as a ftm allegory to me I view Amalthea more as a representation of dysphoria and a more ambivalent state in a lot of ways#I will also say that I think Molly reads as a trans woman to me and idk if that was intentional#Molly has so much respect & understanding & compassion for Amalthea and there’s this connection between women and unicorns historically#their bond means a lot to me and their scenes together break my heart because Molly seems to be the only one who truly understands-#-the terror Amalthea feels in being trapped in a body that doesn’t belong to or fit her#anyways tldr Amalthea transmasc bc idk who else would tweak that hard over being forced to take on the form of a woman against her choosing
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saudade-lovers · 7 months ago
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quick 1hr sketch of jayvik, inspired by The kiss, 1897 by Edward Munch. (click for clarity ౨ৎ)
an. i'm going to yap about this piece ehe. (art student problems) i really love the original piece done by Munch. originally i was thinking of doing the latter made version by Klimt, but i really enjoyed the ambivalence of Munch's representation of the lovers in his painting, with their faces merging together, becoming one, intertwined if you will. its originally in a rather dark, morose palette, and gives an idea of pure unity and yet the loss of individuality, hinting at death. and yet it is certainly passionate.
and while this is story and symbolism dont apply to Viktor and Jayce in exact, i still found it compelling enough to want to give an ode to Munch in this painting. only i hope to show a more bright way of viewing it, in not that it is a loss of individuality and personage, but rather a peeled back complete understanding of one another, and i think that's very romantic. i really tried to keep to the less detail oriented style, which was hard, but i'm pretty happy with it ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و
also i know i promised to do a caivi painting, i was just very obsessed with this specific scenes in season 2, ep 9.....
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plaidos · 3 months ago
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I'm pretty ambivalent towards June, but feel like I'd like her way more if it didn't feel like we had to pay the price of losing the possibility of transfem Roxy to make her real.
then no offense, you gotta stop seeing webcomic representation as a zero sum game. like, i do think Roxy was probably in some way intended to be transfeminine coded or at least have elements of that obvious in her characterisation in homestuck 1. and she was my favourite character!! but look around you, we're getting so much juicy transfem stuff in HSBC, not just June but Vriska and plenty of others from what my friends tell me.
like i get you! i used to be in the same boat. i put down the Epilogues and didn't go back to them for nearly a year after i found out what they did with Roxy after i'd hoped for so long they'd make her transfem. but like, i'm legitimately interested to see where they take Roxy's new developments, and i think it fits his character to have a split gender identity across two versions of [him/her]self.
i don't wanna be mean, but if you stop choosing to be bitter about this one thing, you'll probably be able to enjoy everything else that it was sacrificed for.
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1tsstargaze59 · 7 days ago
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HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE ^^✨️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️
Dropping all my fankids queer levels becuz nothing heals like indulging in your ocs, so ya ^^" (doing better, I guess, but yk, coping).
Also! The stickers are actually pimple patches as a reference to the comic! ^^ (we NEED more inside out comics ASAP honestly-)
Details and lore after the cut!
Lil recap :
Panic : Non binary Pan
Ambivalence : Bi Sapphic
Excitement : Trans Pan
Revulsion : Bi
Cringe : Aroace
Anticipation : Straight Aceflux
Determination : Gay
Vengeance : Intersex
Panic always had this identity, from the first day I made her (she/he/they). It just seemed logical to me! I'm not exactly sure why, all my representation in my art comes from ~vibes~ XD
Ambivalence feels two feelings at once, so Bi just made sense. However, in universes where she is human, I always imagine she'd have a fem-aligned partner, so she personally identifies as Sapphic. For example, Beachside!Ambi, and Panic are a couple! They are 18 and 17 respectively.
Excitement is a clown, and clowns are trans and pan coded. I didn't make the rules; I just follow them! I asked my clown bestie, and he confirmed!!! 🙂‍↕️✨️
Revulsion I wasn't sure at first, but I was sure he wasn't straight XD Ultimately decided he had Bi vibes. I'll come back to him later-
Cringe used to be homophobic! If he could grow up, he'd realize it was just because he didn't feel any romantic or sexual attraction at all XD He gets character development XD
Anticipation's desire for a relationship can fluctuate from "Hell ya!" to "hell no-". In moments where she's really feeling like she wants a relationship, she wishes to have whatever the hell Morticia and Gomez Adam's have. Picture lil hearts floating over her head as she imagines the possibility 💕💕
Determination was gay the moment I made him, and I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE! It took my 14 Y/O LIL SISTER TO LOOK AT HIM AND SAY "Hmmm, he looks closeted' FOR ME TO NOTICE XD Canonically, he doesn't know it yet lol, I just think that's pretty funny XD He and Revulsion are dating in the Beachside!AU! Idk how old exactly they are but they are in their 20s and Rory is older then Determination.
Finally, VENGEANCE was just build different from the start! 😎✨️ They didn't choose their pronouns, in fact, the others call them by gender neutral pronouns simply to respect their ability to choose in the future. I think they'd go by he/they if he could grow up ^^
I wanna draw the beachside couples later. I'm gonna indulge into my ocs more for a bit, if nobody minds. I also wanna draw Cringe and his mom, I think they'd have a cutely chaotic relationship XD
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evilspamtonology · 7 days ago
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So how is Kris canonically established as being transfem? The only evidence that I can think of is the fact that, like you said in that post, the second hero holds a sword and Kris uses swords. But then, what would that make the first hero, the cage with human soul and parts? The vessel we made at the beginning of chapter 1?
Obviously I'm not primed to see transfem Kris, so I would appreciate some more of your perspective
I spent a good part of yesterday and today mulling over how to properly answer this question, and I think I got a pretty good case in my hands.
Please read this post by tumblr user molsno first. Deltarune itself has a lot of themes about having predetermined roles that you have to fulfill, as she points out, and this needs to inform a lot of your reading of a few details in Deltarune in general. It's hard to glean Kris' preferences because they're not exactly working at full freedom of will here, but one thing that strikes me as very significant is that they reject masculinity when imposed on them, which should be a clear indication of distaste for the idea of being a boy or a man.
Secondly, something a friend of mine pointed out, is the egg room in Chapter 3, the seven aces and the signs. In MANCOUNTRY, IT'S A MAN'S WORLD, but NON-MEN ARE A-OK TOO. Paired with the fact that Kris has their light world appearance there instead of the dark world appearance, hinting that it is a representation of their view of their life, or of their childhood. This evokes the imagery of Asriel and Kris being raised as brothers, but once Kris came out as non-binary, they reshaped their games with the seven aces to accept and include them. This is, again, a rejection of the idea of Kris as partially or nebulously interested in masculinity in identity terms.
Thirdly -- and this one is kinda dark -- is that the weird route's themes of cisheteronormative suffocation would not make much sense if Kris was ambivalent towards masculinity, because they are forced into the role of a groom in chapter 2 and their dynamic with Noelle is stereotyped into a dysfunctional cishet couple, complete with a violent depiction of a wedding ring. This is painted by the narrative and experienced by the characters as uncomfortable and ultimately a terrifying expression of the player's control upon them to make their lives worse. The weird route's themes and it forcing Kris into the role of a man would not hit the right tones if you don't read Kris as transfem.
Now that I'm thinking about it, I think this makes Kris' interest in Spamton even more interesting, because it makes me feel like Kris is looking at Spamton not only as a reflection of being a puppet, of being denied freedom, but also as a reflection of what they could be like if they didn't express their gender as they wanted. I keep alluding to the idea of Spamton as a repressed trans woman and I never end up voicing those thoughts coherently, but her ghost is there, and Kris can see it, and it bothers them.
I do want to make a parenthesis that I'm approaching the terminology of transfemininity not as a trans person who embraces femininity, but as a trans person who rejected imposed masculinity. As far as I can tell, this is a very prominent sentiment among transfem people both binary and nonbinary, when I read up about transfem and trans women's experiences. However, I myself am not transfem, so feel free to add onto this in replies or reblogs.
Going back to Kris, I don't think this means they're a girl now, specifically, but maybe that they will be one (even if not transitioning into binarity, a lot of trans people do start their journeys of gender discovery with neutral pronouns). As for the rest of the question, I can't tell who any of the rest of the prophecy alludes to, I don't think I have enough puzzle pieces to figure out. I just have a hunch that, if the name of the game is "subverting determinism", it's not a stretch to assume that "LOVE finds its way to the girl", with a girl that does not resemble Susie nor the weapons she wields, but DOES resemble Kris a bit, and is not Noelle or Dess... Who else is it gonna be?
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steveyockey · 2 years ago
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Some would rebut that “Oppenheimer,” being a Hollywood blockbuster with serious global reach (whether it will play Japanese theaters remains uncertain), will be many audiences’ only exposure to the events in question and thus might “create a limit on public consciousness and concern,” as the poet, writer and professor Brandon Shimoda told The Times. A corollary of this argument: The crimes committed against the people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were so unspeakable, so outsized in their impact, that Oppenheimer’s perspective does and should dwindle into insignificance by comparison. For Nolan to focus so exclusively on an American physicist’s story, some insist, ultimately diminishes history and humanity, even as it reinforces the Hollywood hegemony of the great-man biopic and of white men’s narratives in general.
I get those complaints. I also think they betray an inherent disrespect for the audience’s intelligence and curiosity, as well as a fundamental misunderstanding of how movies operate. It’s telling that few of these criticisms of perspective were leveled at “American Prometheus” when it was published in 2005, that no one begrudged Bird and Sherwin for offering a meticulously researched, morally ambivalent portrait of their subject’s life and consigning the destruction of two Japanese cities to a few pages. That’s because books are books, the argument goes, and movies are movies — and this perceived difference, it must be said, reveals a pernicious double standard.
Because they seldom achieve the narrative penetration and richness of detail of, say, a 700-page biography, movies, especially those about history, often are hailed as achievements of breadth over depth, emotion over intellect. They are assumed to be fundamentally shallow experiences, distillations of real life rather than sharply angled explorations of it, propelled by broad brushstrokes and easy expository shortcuts, and beholden to the audience’s presumably voracious appetite for thrilling, traumatizing spectacle. And because movies offer a visual immediacy and narrative immersion that books don’t, they are expected to be sweeping if not omniscient in their narrative scope, to reach for a comprehensive, even definitive vantage.
Movies that attempt something different, that recognize that less can indeed be more, are thus easily taken to task. “It’s so subjective!” and “It omits a crucial P.O.V.!” are assumed to be substantive criticisms rather than essentially value-neutral statements. We are sometimes told, in matters of art and storytelling, that depiction is not endorsement; we are not reminded nearly as often that omission is not erasure. But because viewers of course cannot be trusted to know any history or muster any empathy on their own — and if anything unites those who criticize “Oppenheimer” on representational grounds, it’s their reflexive assumption of the audience’s stupidity — anything that isn’t explicitly shown onscreen is denigrated as a dodge or an oversight, rather than a carefully considered decision.
A film like “Oppenheimer” offers a welcome challenge to these assumptions. Like nearly all Nolan’s movies, from “Memento” to “Dunkirk,” it’s a crafty exercise in radical subjectivity and narrative misdirection, in which the most significant subjects — lost memories, lost time, lost loves — often are invisible and all the more powerful for it. We can certainly imagine a version of “Oppenheimer” that tossed in a few startling but desultory minutes of Japanese destruction footage. Such a version might have flirted with kitsch, but it might well have satisfied the representational completists in the audience. It also would have reduced Hiroshima and Nagasaki to a piddling afterthought; Nolan treats them instead as a profound absence, an indictment by silence.
That’s true even in one of the movie’s most powerful and contested sequences. Not long after news of Hiroshima’s destruction arrives, Oppenheimer gives a would-be-triumphant speech to a euphoric Los Alamos crowd, only for his words to turn to dust in his mouth. For a moment, Nolan abandons realism altogether — but not, crucially, Oppenheimer’s perspective — to embrace a hallucinatory horror-movie expressionism. A piercing scream erupts in the crowd; a woman’s face crumples and flutters, like a paper mask about to disintegrate. The crowd is there and then suddenly, with much sonic rumbling, image blurring and an obliterating flash of white light, it is not.
For “Oppenheimer’s” detractors, this sequence constitutes its most grievous act of erasure: Even in the movie’s one evocation of nuclear disaster, the true victims have been obscured and whitewashed. The absence of Japanese faces and bodies in these visions is indeed striking. It’s also consistent with Nolan’s strict representational parameters, and it produces a tension, even a contradiction, that the movie wants us to recognize and wrestle with. Is Oppenheimer trying (and failing) to imagine the hundreds of thousands of Japanese civilians murdered by the weapon he devised? Or is he envisioning some hypothetical doomsday scenario still to come?
I think the answer is a blur of both, and also something more: In this moment, one of the movie’s most abstract, Nolan advances a longer view of his protagonist’s history and his future. Oppenheimer’s blindness to Japanese victims and survivors foreshadows his own stubborn inability to confront the consequences of his actions in years to come. He will speak out against nuclear weaponry, but he will never apologize for the atomic bombings of Japan — not even when he visits Tokyo and Osaka in 1960 and is questioned by a reporter about his perspective now. “I do not think coming to Japan changed my sense of anguish about my part in this whole piece of history,” he will respond. “Nor has it fully made me regret my responsibility for the technical success of the enterprise.”
Talk about compartmentalization. That episode, by the way, doesn’t find its way into “Oppenheimer,” which knows better than to offer itself up as the last word on anything. To the end, Nolan trusts us to seek out and think about history for ourselves. If we elect not to, that’s on us.
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flightfoot · 3 months ago
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Do you have any good recs for fics that explore Adrien and Felix' relationship? Or ones that have Adrien find out about all of Marinette's lies and explore in depth his reaction to them (preferably ones that don't have them making up too soon)?
Your reclist awesome btw. I'm slowly making my way through it :)
Ooh thanks! Glad that my reclists have been useful for you!
There's a whole fandom dedicated to senticousins, you've probably seen a bunch of fics from them on my reclists. I'll link a few good ones anyway.
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It Was Never That Funny by @cookiedough77
Adrien would like to think Christmas is his favorite time of year, and usually, it is. (or... i wanted to go off that theory that adrien was so terrified of marinette when she wore that cowboy hat in 'psycomedian', like he fully flinched, crazy right?)
I hadn't thought of this, but it does make sense that Adrien might have an aversion to people wearing cowboy hats due to being traumatized by Colt. He and Felix liked to switch places, after all.
I like how Felix showed some vulnerability to Adrien and even tried to comfort him after the experience, it was really sweet!
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you could win a rabbit by @purplecatghostposts
Félix raises an eyebrow but obliges. He should probably get on with it before Adrien second guesses himself too hard and tries to take it back. Félix pulls the tissue paper out and squints at what’s inside. It’s— a plushie? He takes it out of the bag to get a better look at it. All of the air is stolen from his lungs the second he does. A rabbit plushie. A white rabbit plushie. (Or for Félix’s next birthday, Adrien teams up with Marinette to make Félix a rabbit plushie, much like the one he had as a kid. Old feelings Félix thought he buried return in full force.)
I loved seeing a potential backstory to the torn stuffed bunny we saw in the play in Representation, and Felix's reaction to getting another rabbit plush was heart-wrenching!
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A Domestic Cold War by @unecoccinellenoire
Félix lives with a murderer. It’s not the first time. Unfortunately his cousin would never ever forgive him if Félix was to take Nathalie Sancoeur off the board.
I like the conversation Nathalie and Felix have here. They don't like each other (or well, Felix doesn't like Nathalie, Nathalie is just ambivalent about him), but they come to an understanding. It's interesting to see Nathalie's viewpoint on life and killing, and hear allusions to the things she was up to before she became Gabriel's secretary.
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i'm worried 'bout the future by @purplecatghostposts
He edges closer to Adrien, lowering his voice to barely a whisper. “If it comes down to it, I’ll distract him while you run and hide the first second you get.” “What?” Adrien blurts, louder than Félix would like. His eyes dart to Argos but thankfully, he doesn’t turn around. Félix shoots Adrien a look to lower his voice and thankfully, his cousin listens. “You think we can’t trust him?” “He has the Peacock Miraculous.” Félix points out. “He’s from the future.” Adrien counters. “And Future Chat Noir trusts him so… Maybe we can trust him too?” (Or Chat Noir and a Peacock Hero from a decade in the future end up in the past and save their past selves. Félix is wary of whoever this ‘Argos’ is.)
I love time travel fics. Felix being really wary of the Peacock hero's deliciously ironic, something that Argos realizes and he doesn't. While Adrien's just happy to see his future self and completely trusts what Chat tells him. I loved how Argos was put out when he realized why his past self is afraid of him and trying to reassure him as best he can without giving away spoilers.
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The Black Cat of the Family by Anonymous
To Felix, Chat Noir is freedom. Pure freedom, unhindered by anything (well, except perhaps a little too much dedication to Ladybug). He goes where he pleases when he pleases. He acts so ridiculous, like no one was ever watching, even when everyone was watching. He chafes at orders and authority, even when the orders are coming from Ladybug herself. He's free to be whoever he wants, in a way Felix only wishes he could be. So of course he starts flirting with the catboy. It also doesn't hurt that the superhero is easy on the eyes. Chat Noir, meanwhile, is simply trying to figure out how to reject his cousin without revealing his own secret identity. But when has anything in his love life ever worked out for him? Or, in other words: Somehow the Fathom-Graham de Vanily-Agreste family becomes even more dysfunctional in brand new ways.
This was fun, I liked the natural way Chat caught Felix's attention with his kindness, wit, and hidden depths. It makes sense why Felix would slowly develop a crush on him, while Chat just thinks that he's having fun with his cousin.
Also Chat's reaction when he realizes that Felix is, in fact, confessing his crush on him, is just priceless XD.
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memtempsychosis by @bittersweetresilience
Félix is always watching Adrien die.
I love time loop fics, and this is no exception. Felix somehow gets trapped in a time loop with Adrien where no matter what he does, Adrien always dies by the end of the day by some manner, and then everything resets. I love how inevitable it all feels, the strange beauty to the prose when going over his deaths, and how you can feel Felix's increasing desperation throughout it all.
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Blueberry Passion Fruit by @ninadove and @paracosmicat
He walked up to the counter, because he could not think of anything else to do. For all those times he had rehearsed their reunion, he had failed to consider the most obvious scenario: Adrien might want to run away once more.
I love Adrien just having run away, used a fake name, and then start working at a random cafe. Of course Felix still manages to track him down eventually. I loved seeing them talk things out!
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Run Amok by @mirrankei
The more time a sentibeing spends away from their amok, the weaker that connection becomes. In time the magic of the amok, desperate to keep that connection, will move to an item that the senti is closer to. Adrien's amok is empty, and Felix and Duusu are on a frantic search to find the new item before someone else can get their hands on it. Without letting Adrien know any of this is going on, of course.
I really loved the concept of this fic, with the Amok moving, and seeing Felix's perspective was a treat! Especially with which item he suspected held the Amok. The senticousins' dynamic is always interesting to watch.
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every wall that I knock down (is just a wall i'll replace) by @purplecatghostposts
Now it’s Félix’s turn. Adrien needs to know about his own existence before anything else and Félix wanted to have that conversation himself. Marinette didn’t argue when he told her as much. If anything, she seemed slightly relieved. Félix has been meaning to do it for a long time. Adrien had been at risk if he said anything before, not to mention it felt cruel to tell him when he would still have to bend to his father’s orders until the rings were retrieved. But Adrien wears his own amoks now, making his own choices with no one forcing him to do any of it. All physical risks are out of the way. Félix only needs to break it to him. The problem is that it never seems to actually be the right moment. (Or Post Season 5, Félix finally has the chance to tell Adrien about both of them being sentibeings and their family history. He’s not quite sure why his words keep failing him whenever he tries though.)
I love the analysis of Felix's thoughts and feelings about being a sentibeing, the psychological hangups that are preventing him from telling Adrien everything. I especially like how he doesn't even seem to realize HIMSELF what his problem is. Few people are able to really understand why they're reacting the way they are, why they feel the way they do, without either some deep examination or talking to someone.
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sub-in by @purplecatghostposts
Wordlessly, Adrien slips the ring off his finger and offers it with an outstretched hand. Félix stares at it for a long moment, knowing in an instant what it is but processing what it means. “You can’t be serious.” Félix blurts out at last. Adrien, the traitor, can no longer fight the grin that stretches across his face. “Completely.” (Or Félix was still getting used to Adrien being Chat Noir, but now he must take on the performance of a lifetime and become Chat Noir. It’s more stressful than it sounds. Takes place in Season 2 of a Félix Joins Early AU.)
I loved seeing Felix's and Adrien's relationship here, they act a lot like siblings XD. Adrien's just a ray of sunshine while Felix is a grumpy cat, though he loves Adrien dearly. I love seeing Felix try out the catsuit, and also realize how VERY close his cousin is with Ladybug - and how good a sense she has for him. He's a good actor, but he didn't have time to fully study up on this role.
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the monster who loves you by @purplecatghostposts
Mum nods, clapping her hands together. “Your brother is finally feeling better and is coming home today! Isn’t that so exciting?” Félix pauses mid-bite, processing her words. Mum waits expectantly, as if expecting him to jump for joy, or his equivalent of it. But… Félix doesn’t have a brother. (Or Félix’s brother is a monster, but only in the most literal sense. Félix’s father is a monster despite being very, very human. He learns to navigate the world through these two truths.)
I loved how this story emphasized the differences between different kinds of monsters - the type who inhabit horror stories, who look terrifying, and the mundane, human sorts of monsters who are often the most dangerous. And how monsters can choose to act humanely, while humans can choose to act monstrously.
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Me and You, We're Roses of Blue by fennieaile
For centuries, the blue rose has represented mystery, royalty, and that which is unobtainable. Why? Because the blue rose is artificial. Unnatural. So close to being real, but not quite. The unfortunate, disappointing result of humanity daring to challenge the natural order. And for some reason, Felix Graham De Vanily can't stop thinking about it. Meanwhile Kagami Tsurugi, despite everything, thinks they are wonderful. And Adrien Agreste, who prefers his roses red, is just here for a good time. (A story in which Felix reflects on his childhood, his relationships, and the nature of what's artificial and what's real.) (Alternatively, a story where the ideal date is destroying a dead man's property in the name of art, and two cousins who are actually brothers' bond over one truly terrible joke.)
I love Felix's and Kagami's introspective talks, with Felix reminiscing about the past - both the good, and the bad. He still has trouble believing that his life is this okay now, and especially that the class (and Marinette in particular) are actually friendly with him. Him and Kagami deciding to destroy some of Gabriel's things is great.
I think my favorite part is when Chat decides to give Felix birthday greetings. Chat loves to mess with him and Felix just doesn't understand why. Chat apparently has a little brother he likes to do this sort of thing with, so why can't he got bother that guy instead?
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Trapped by @trishacollins
Felix asks to visit Adrien earlier, worried that his twin isn't responding to him on their bond. Gabriel catches him snooping and makes some assumptions about why. It gets worse from there.
Damn, poor Felix. He came to try and help Adrien, but instead Gabriel stole his Amok, forcing him to obey his commands, holding him prisoner in his basement for months. If you want some quality Felix whump, this is the fic for you!
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Found by @trishacollins
Chat Noir and Ladybug need to tie up some loose ends. Unfortunately, one of those ends is Felix.
This is a fantastic fic! It’s part of a wider series wherein Adrien and Felix were friends with Nooroo and Duusu from a younger age, but Adrien’s memory was wiped of it by his parents, but this is the first fic you really need to read. Basically, after the events of Emotion, Chat confronts Felix about what he did, and Felix confesses to being a Sentibeing, and Duusu reveals to Chat that he is one as well, leading to Felix cooperating with the heroes.
Of all the fics I’ve read that tackle the subject, this one does the best job of giving Felix a redemption arc for his actions in the season 4 finale, focusing not only on how he hurt the heroes, but the kwamis. I loved that he truly understood how much he fucked up with the situation he put the kwamis in, how much suffering he put them through, and that the kwamis were allowed to be angry at him for awhile afterwards, to be suspicious and untrusting towards him at first (and that Marinette was allowed to do the same). Felix screwed up and hurt people, and he had to really show that he understood what he did was wrong, why it was wrong, and try to help the people he hurt.
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frostfires-blog · 9 months ago
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Kusuriya no Hitorigoto Part 2: OP2 Ambivalent
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Part 1A│ Part 1B │Part 2
┏ · ──────── ·𖥸· ──────── · ┓
-> 2.1) Thornapple
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The 1st flower showcased in the second opening is the Thornapple (Datura sp.), commonly known as the Moonflower and Devil's trumpet. Thornapple flowers are also shown in Episode 20 of the anime. Thornapple species are all exceedingly poisonous and psychoactive, particularly the seeds and flowers, which can cause respiratory depression, arrhythmias, fever, delirium, hallucinations, anticholinergic syndrome, psychosis, and death when ingested. In Japan, thornapple is called mandarake (曼荼羅華) and symbolises charm, false charm, dreaming and “intoxicating you” in hanakotoba. Its representation of charm is supposedly derived from the trumpet-like shape of its flowers—while its symbolism of false charm and intoxication stems from its severe toxicity. In Western floriography, thornapples symbolise power, caution, transformation and transition. Thornapples are also said to represent the cycle of life, death, and rebirth.
-> 2.2) Blue Roses
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The 2nd set of flowers shown in the second opening are blue roses. These flowers are also featured in episodes 22, 23, and 24—with episode 22 highlighting Maomao's struggles to cultivate blue roses. Canonically blue roses are mostly commonly associated with Lakkan and Fengxian’s relationship. Blue roses do not occur naturally and are a product of human cultivation methods. For ages, botanists and scientists have been obsessed with obtaining blue roses. This unattainability has profoundly affected the symbolic meanings of blue roses worldwide. In Japan, blue roses are called aoi bara (青いバラ) or aoi soubi ( 青い薔薇). They represent dream fulfilment, miracles, impossibility and “blessings of God” in hanakotoba. In Western floriography, blue roses represent mystery, rarity, creativity and attaining the impossible. They are also associated with love at first sight, longing, captivating beauty and unattainable love. They are a powerful symbol of precious and unreachable love and are ideal for conveying deep and complex emotions.
-> 2.3) Rose Balsam
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The 3rd flower depicted in the second opening is the rose balsam (Impatiens balsamina)—commonly known as garden balsam, spotted snapweed, and touch-me-not. Rose balsam is also featured in episodes 23 and 24, where it is primarily associated with Maomao's mother, Fengxian. In Japan, rose balsam is known as hōsenka (鳳仙花) and symbolises "don't touch me," short temper, and vivaciousness in hanakotoba. Its Japanese name is a phonetic interpretation of its Chinese name and is derived from the flower's shape—which is thought to resemble the mythological phoenix. The balsam's symbolism of impatience, short temper, and "don't touch me" stems from its fruit, which when mature bursts at the slightest contact and scatters its seeds. In Asia, rose balsam petals are crushed and combined with alum to create a dye used to colour fingernails. In Western floriography, rose balsam mainly represents impatience and ardent or fiery love. The rose balsam also embodies purity, innocence, and beauty. The flower also represents motherly love, which, while appearing counterintuitive, can be interpreted as a metaphor for the complexities of maternal care. The figurative symbolism of rose balsam combines sensitivity with strength similarly to a mother who relentlessly protects her children while encouraging their freedom. The balsam's representation of "fiery love" stems from the vivid red colour of its flowers, which evokes an image of passionate love.
┗ · ──────── ·𖥸· ──────── · ┛
Part 1A│ Part 1B │Part 2
╰➤ Other anime & donghua hanakotoba posts
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[A/N: Please check out part 1A and 1B as well! Since I've only watched the anime but haven't read the manga or light novels and thus cannot comment on how everything ties into the overarching storyline or character development��I didn't go into too much detail here... Also, since there are so many flowers featured, this post would grow way too long if I did lmao. 
If anyone has any ideas on what anime/anime theme song I should cover next in this series please lmk✿ Also, if you liked this post, check out my other hanakotoba analysis posts...]
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alessabriel · 1 year ago
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circles in heaven and circles in hell
Cw. Past Lucifer Morningstar x ReaderFem!, blood, inaccurate representations of heaven and hell from Hazbin Hotel, typical canon violence, Alastor is aroace (but he won't totally fit everyone's representation of him) but he is married, Alastor is if it's a warning, ReaderFem Angel superior and a fallen angel after she became sovereign, use of "Lettore" which is Reader (only in Italian because it looks cute)
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🪽You were an angel created in the image and likeness of the first woman Lillth but, the divine correction you heard among the elder seraphim, and although you were created in the image and likeness of the first woman you were not placed in the hands of man, of humanity but maintained close to God fulfilling a duty of caring for souls to reach heaven on earth directly, it was an exhausting duty but it made you close to humans, seeing them up close, they were strangely fascinating as well as terrifying. Their creations were magnificent, advances for their survival and then their comfort, they were interesting beings, you loved humans in their ambivalent existence and God loved you for it, you knew how to see the bad and the good, the bad was punished even if it hurt but you didn't. you opposed it. You obeyed and complied, until Lucifer entered your soul, you loved the creations he gave to humanity. You an improved creation of Lilith and the image and likeness of God: Lucifer were divine beings seen as the joy of heaven and the meaning that order and peace went hand in hand, they became friends, confidants and although sometimes they did not You understood, you came to love him, managing to see the good that he brought, but you saw how everyone turned their backs on him, throwing him into hell, which he himself created, calling him a troublemaker. And you loved him to the point of falling with him, of taking off that blindfold that covered your eyes with a soft comfort for you given by the hands of God, of staying by his side when he was sinking.
🪽You had never doubted God's efforts and order, but when you saw that, when you saw the enormous punishment given to Lucifer, doubts began to assail you. Did God love everyone as he said? You began to notice that his love was governed by usefulness, by prompt action, and it was frankly painful because you lived for years comfortably in that scheme, being useful and therefore being loved.
🪽Then you made the worst mistake in the eyes of all of heaven, making Lucifer's gift prosper in humanity and in the souls to come, who would decide and have the freedom to believe or not believe, for which you were thrown into hell by the same hands of who was your father, who created you as the correction of all the evil that resulted in Lilith.
🪽They never called you a mistake, but you thought you saw a slight pain in the eyes of the one who believed you, but you accepted the pain, and the punishment that it all meant, because even if they gave you the opportunity to recognize your mistakes and repent, you would not find anything in yourself to repent For this reason, from among the clouds of heaven you descended, falling into hell, which to your surprise was nothing more than seven rings of sins resulting from the creations of Lucifer, which among all things was the result of each human being being able to make their decisions and not. They dressed so badly, yes they made mistakes and so on, but inside everything they decided themselves knowing the result and lived comfortable lives according to their decisions.
🪽If no one called you a mistake it would be because you would make the worst mistake; feeling love towards Lucifer when his sad heart belonged to another, you believed you could heal and heal the wounds left by Lilith, caring for her and loving him, understanding him, helping him with the hell in chaos that Lilith left behind with a little girl who cried at the carelessness of his two parents.
🪽Everything was a mistake except taking care of Charlie Morningstar, a little sun created in hell and who was charming, her smiles were the right balm on the wounds you never allowed to heal. Charlie was the only success.
🪽The second worst mistake was believing that Lucifer loved you on those nights where he professed his love in desperate prayers, seeking comfort in need. And perhaps whoever believed you was right, love dictated in desperation may contain truth but where is the line drawn between truth and what is said to obtain relief?
🪽Were you stupid? In fact, were you close to falling into that self-destructive pit with him? Unfortunately yes, but you managed to leave with bleeding fingers and the dull pain in your chest caused by the cruel rejection of Lucifer encouraged by Lillth in his moment of glorious return, which you accepted with pain. It was a scar that no longer itched, a mark forgotten long ago when the physical pain was completely overshadowed by the person you believed loved you, because he swore so and whispered it in your ear at night. But, as soon as she returned from the past to continue what she left behind as if it were a book left in the middle, you understood better. Unfortunately you understood it perfectly; you were just a distraction, a mere game until she will return, until Lilith will get tired of being in heaven and will go down back to hell recovering everything she left behind; her husband Lucifer and daughter Charlie (you didn't know it but she was happy to see Lillth but that place as a mother was occupied by the one who accompanied her every night of nightmares, who wiped her tears and motivated her to never give up until she had tried, to be who he was and was you).
🪽And although hell was seen almost as a seedy slum full of sinners and demons seeking to destroy, it was only more than a human city with chaos and no rules due to how Lucifer allowed himself to sink and leaving his kingdom only to have a few years of order (because you took care of it in its worst moments to allow it to heal and it never did) but if hell had taught you anything with its unpredictable changes in climate, crime, strange sinners everywhere and only small extraordinary events happening, was that, resilience was your motto. It was when you fought for Lucifer, when you raised your voice in his name, when you wanted to take his pain and make it yours, when you helped him raise a daughter that he himself neglected, and when he left you after years because Lilith had come from return to his life, as if it had not meant eternal days of suffering that you witnessed and it was painfully ironic, that all of Lucifer's depression was fixed with the return of Lilith. Lilith was his solution to everything.
🪽In retrospect, you were used to suffering so much in heaven in a pleasant and comfortable ignorance since if you were useful and fulfilled you would be eternally loved by the one who created you as in hell where you finally knew the pain of humiliation and a broken heart combined , until you yourself got up from the puddle of tears you had created. Was it difficult? Did it hurt too much? Significantly a lot. Was there resentment in your heart? Since you had to tear off your own wings. The sky was a wound that bled with raw slowness until the last drop was squeezed out and left you with no blood or tears to shed. Hell a scar that regenerated before each extermination, rising as if nothing had happened. Resilience was definitely your motto and you carried it in your soul.
🪽After the time you allowed yourself to suffer and wallow in your self-pity, you managed to see that hell was not all bad as you taught Charlie in the past when she was a child. It had its pros and cons, with that new perspective you forged a reputation and power in hell, consolidating yourself as another sovereign, since, as expected, they were the ones who managed the ring of pride in its entirety in the face of Lucifer's inactivity (now you risk ) and, to your surprise, everyone wanted to rub shoulders with you, your power and past a secret well hidden behind your calm and imperturbable expression, as well as the sinners that were accumulating in your long list of contracts, benefits for both parties, you took care of their interests by getting what you wanted from them, obtain their loyalties without pain. And then, in the newly acquired comfort it happened, it was as if a ray of light other than hell fell on that other sovereign who approached you, you could notice at that time an unprecedented desperation in his body and well hidden behind his eternal smile that I wasn't fooling you at all. You met him; Alastor, the Radio Demon.
|| For Lettore it was common to receive a few sinners a day, he had managed to get into good hands a sector of hell almost at the end of the circle of hell that was neglected and characterized by guerrillas who ceased when their power cleared them of burdens but overwhelmed them with new chains with more slack, which the sinners were grateful for by being loyal and starting the foundations of what would be known as the Impure District, it was a masterful control and born from nothing before the eyes of all hell.
Everyone had crazy ideas.
None close to reality, all nonsense fueled by crazy theories and encouraged by the euphoria of interesting information. But no one but the bound sinners knew, even though they would rather tear out their tongues than speak. Secrets that ensured loyalties forged by the fire of mutual benefit.
Therefore, for Lettore, receiving sinners was common, allowing access from the top of the library of his home; a large house well hidden by a sinuous and sinister forest that extended in some parts of the district as if it were a garden, a deceptive forest. In the brief moment when the last book was slid into place, Lettore felt that he was not a common sinner but a sovereign and therefore he paid attention to it with curiosity.
"To what do I owe your presence in my home this day?" The woman questions, her voice soft and silky, calm.
Alastor, who had come without knowing where else to turn and with the dilemma still fresh in his hands, decided to show a lack of faith (however ironic it was and it was a joke that he would genuinely laugh at) by going to the sovereign who emerged from among the shadows like a dream, a nightmare that was calm but left terror installed.
"I have heard rumors throughout hell since their appearance," the radio demon explained briefly with his characteristic voice covered by the effect of subtle static. "I have wanted to have the pleasure of knowing if they are true or not."
Lettore only looked at him for a few seconds before inviting him to have a cup of tea, with the comfort between them, just a fixed gaze on Alastor was enough, noticing the tension in his being, like ropes from a guillotine about to fall. She suppressed a smile as she was able to get an idea, no sovereign was free from dangers, quite the contrary and she knew that well, it was not for nothing that Alastor had become sovereign by devouring and destroying all the original sovereigns.
"...there are many rumors, I would appreciate it being clearer," the woman commented in a harmonious voice.
And perhaps Alastor was precarious (among so many sins) to be direct, he felt the shackle tied and tight around his neck just before cutting his neck, which was causing him anger, desperation that he could barely keep within his being, he wanted to tear and to be able to swallow such a harpy who had tied him up, challenged him and left him on the verge of losing what he had earned through years of instilling terror and fear, so he would have to let that truth out no matter how much he didn't want to.
"...I've heard from some sinners that you managed to get them out of contracts," the deer demon said bluntly.
The woman only handled herself carefully, without much importance in the face of such loud recognition and above all, she did not react. Lettore knew very well that a secret that was never believed was a well-kept secret, truths denied and rejected were someone else's advantage.
"...Why would you look for someone capable of breaking contracts?" The female questioned with a bewitching voice, almost seductive, just dazzling the ears.
"Because someone managed to tie me up as collateral," the radio demon blurted out, noticing that sweet voice full of secrets behind that condescending edge. "Why not be honest?"
The woman only limited herself to leaving her cup on the delicate and elegant black porcelain plate, on the low table of a pleasant room filled with a sweet aroma.
"...if I undo the deal, you will now be tied to me, equivalence" he explained in an assertive voice and without hesitation "I need to know what was in the contract, so I can break it and forge a deal with me, but my deals are eternal until let me decide"
For the radio demon it was as if an enormous weight was lifted from his shoulders, the mere idea of ​​being able to remove that contract from his soul with that similar harpy who had only ambushed him, forcing him into a deal that he never sought or asked for. . Alastor sighed, recovering his eternal smile as if he had control of the entire situation, things that, although not so true, were in part.
"It's a long story dear"
"...hell is eternal and its nights seem endless" ||
🪽It only took one night to know his biggest secret, he was tied to Lilith out of obligation, he had never accepted and was manipulated beyond his understanding, and you could taste his frustration in the air, but, his contract came to an end because of you. hand and that contract was transferred to your long list, only fulfilling part of what was stipulated in the past; Make sure you keep a close eye on the Hazbin Hotel.
🪽From that night Alastor became close to you, both of you found a quiet place in each other's company; Alastor, with his voice always covered in subtle static, became the everyday hum in your ears and without knowing your voice, always soft, became what Alastor always wanted to hear.
🪽With time together and creating a daily life, it was as if you found something that you had been missing for a while. You knew his life and he knew yours, you lost count of how many nights you spent enchanted by everything he experienced as a human, how many outings to have a drink together and mornings waking up under the same roof. Broadcasts on the air dedicated to you, even if no one else knew and only you knew that, a sweet secret that made you feel euphoric. Gifts and details found around the house, from a single red rose to sweets placed in areas where you would see them clearly. They created together a domestic comfort that surpassed any sensation and feeling, it was as if you had found your soulmate, which complemented you. Alastor always took you out of your comfort zone, made you try things you would never have thought of and live, you felt like you were living next to him. It was a completely new feeling.
📻 For Alastor, it was an invigorating and novel sensation that did not leave his being complete, each transmission he broadcast with Lettore in mind he enjoyed much more almost with the same feeling of purpose and fascination as when he was human, in each night spent in his home or that of her new companion telling her all her experiences as a human, seeing how her eyes shone in a singular way like a moon in the sky overshadowing any star around her, meals shared together even with her peculiar tastes (deer or human meat) she just smiled in an exasperated but amused way with that soft pout that she never noticed he made and he felt a strange sensation of fullness, filling him even with society. It was a sensation and feeling of being complete, of having found his complement and those strange nights that he invited her to his cabin where only once he transmitted with her there and managed to hear her sweet song, a song worthy of a seraph like her since she knew her entire history, her past and present, the pain she carried in her chest that she let go of to start living, she knew of her love for Charlie even when Lucifer made her suffer and feel like a used toy. Frankly, she was surprised when she felt a forceful and overwhelming anger take him into the jaws of a beast, because of that pain in her, but what prevailed in her being was to give her words of encouragement: "You are not to blame for anything, there are people who will not value a good heart in this hell" and a hug that took him by complete surprise because he started it because he hated being touched but the moment he felt her hands on his back, clinging to him, it was like a warmth that, far from being overwhelming It was like a breath of fresh air.
📻 Alastor was tied to Lettore but being tied to her didn't cause him major weakness or anything, just a light protection and the feeling that (even if it was twisted) he was always a humming distance away (because he's already heard her crystalline laugh and which bells when he made him appear at his home out of nowhere and it made him laugh just remembering it) so taking care of Charlie in his hotel was like a thank you to Lettore, and he always carried that gold watch in his pocket, a gift that meant like a small world; As a human, he had never found that watch no matter how much he searched and Lettore gave it to him, it was the first gift that almost moved him to the point of removing the moisture from his eyes, but he did not shed any tears (although honestly he was close to nothing).
🪽Alastor's presence in your life was everyday and you came to feel a silence foreign to hell. And the memory of Alastor's reddish doe ears when you gave him the gift that it took you a while to obtain would never be forgotten.
📻 Alastor had racked his brain thinking about a suitable gift to match the one Lettore gave him but, it was in front of him the entire time he was at the Hazbin Hotel so, one day when Charlie would have guests he would also bring someone (he didn't say who) who would support the idea of ​​the hotel. So bringing Lettore to the Hotel, on his arm the moment they set foot inside Charlie ran towards his companion and it was a sweet feeling. Which became even more exquisite seeing the veiled anger in Lillth and Lucifer's gaze.
|| Lettore couldn't help but wrap his arms around Charlie, feeling how he squeezed you tightly and with the feeling on the surface, you kissed his forehead.
"Charlie," Lettore said in a harmonious and soft voice, seeing Charlie's crystallized gaze, "I'm proud of you."
For Charlie, hearing those words coming from the lips of the one who took care of her little girl, of the one who remembered her tears cleanly and accompanied her in every important moment until he left her with a painful but bittersweet farewell with a promise to always take care of her and to be together again. . He couldn't help but hug her tightly.
"Mom," Charlie stammered, still clinging to Lettore, feeling like she was treasured in the arms of someone who would never doubt loved her. "Thank you for coming to the hotel. I want to show you everything!"
Charlie excitedly took Lettore by the hand, talking non-stop about her project with Alastor accompanying them from behind, passing by Lillth and Lucifer, not intentional. ||
📻 🪽
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still-breathing-au-p3r · 7 months ago
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Seemingly satisfied, Kirijo-san addresses the whole team at once.
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An uncomfortable quiet settles over the room. Shinjiro gets it. S.E.E.S. had given them a purpose, and as glad as everyone is to see the end of the Dark Hour, having that purpose pulled out from under your feet isn’t easy. He knows it’s got to be especially rough for Aki, with the bullheaded focus he always throws himself at a goal with. He can’t even imagine how much tougher it is for Kirijo, who’s been fighting her way to this moment for most of her life.
He’s not one-hundred percent sure how everyone else truly feels about it, but as for himself? Shinjiro can easily say he won’t miss it.
He hadn’t picked up an evoker that first time with any kind of greater purpose in mind, and he hadn’t been looking for one either. All that’d mattered to him was having Aki’s back if he was hellbent on putting himself in harm’s way.
Maybe at one point he’d started to feel some sense of duty about getting rid of the Dark Hour, but that was a long time ago. Two years is more than long enough for the idea of “duty” to start looking worthless in retrospect. 
And it wasn’t like he’d come back because he’d suddenly found that drive again, either– that had been about settling his debts. If anything he did also helped Aki and Kirijo get rid of the Dark Hour, then he was glad to do it, but that wasn’t his battle to win anymore.
The triumph and normalcy Kirijo-san mentions next don’t feel like his prizes to claim either. He still doesn’t know whether he’ll even get to, let alone what to do with them if he does– but no one else seems to, either. If he asked Aki or Kirijo about it, they’d probably answer with some cheesy declaration that they’ll ‘figure it out together.’ He can practically hear exactly how they’d say it.
…He can’t deny though, that being clueless together does sound less daunting than being clueless alone.
He’s been getting more and more sentimental these days. He isn’t sure how he feels about that.
Kirijo crisply banishes the growing awkwardness before it can put down roots, and finally they settle in to eat. The fish tastes every bit as good as it looks– it’s the best he’s ever had, no question.
Shinjiro stays where he is, but most of the rest of the team wanders around playing musical chairs with who they’re talking to and what kind of sushi is within grabbing distance. At one point Arisato sits next to him, eyeballing several pieces of tuna philosophically for nearly a full minute before finally choosing one. 
He still doesn’t eat it right away. Instead he examines it like he’s getting ready to paint a portrait. He’s still looking at the fish when he speaks to Shinjiro.
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Arisato just shrugs, ambivalent as always, and finally eats his sushi now that he’s memorized it. He didn’t deny it, which Shinjiro is going to accept as an admission whether Arisato likes it or not. It’s still annoying how unbothered he is about the whole thing– about most things. What Shinjiro wouldn’t give to be able to tap into a little bit of that kind of nonchalance on command.
Arisato moves on to scrutinize the grilled eel next and Aki immediately takes his place and reignites an old favorite argument of theirs over the merits of tuna versus salmon.
Junpei suggests taking a photo to commemorate the evening, then promptly turns it into a disaster– which probably makes it the best possible representation of this pack of absolute weirdos. He’s never been a fan of getting his picture taken, but… he does kind of want a copy of this one.
The night goes on. The sushi dwindles and so does the conversation as everyone starts settling into a state of well-fed zen. Shinjiro crosses his arms loosely and lets his head loll to rest on the back of the couch. He feels satiated and drowsy, and so content that it kind of loops back around to be a little alarming from just how unfamiliar he’s become with the feeling.
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Everyone else on the team offers some kind of agreement, except for Koromaru. While Takeba scolds Junpei over trying to give a dog raw fish, Koromaru slinks over to sit on Shinjiro’s feet and sulk. 
He rubs one of Koro’s velvet soft ears between his thumb and forefinger and mumbles a promise to make him something special tomorrow.
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He looks over to Arisato, who offers nothing but a stone-faced thumbs-up. Shinjiro rolls his eyes. Arisato adds a second thumbs-up and exactly zero changes to his expression. Typical.
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They laugh and Koromaru yips happily, his tail wagging a mile a minute.
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Like someone just opened a door and let in a gust of chill November air, a thin shiver skims its way over Shinjiro’s back, leaving his muscles tense in its wake. The feeling that something is about to go horribly wrong resurfaces with a vengeance. 
Shinjiro glances at the clock– one minute left.
He’s not the only one feeling all kinds of anxious– in the back of his head he can feel his Persona, still as a frozen pond but uneasy and alert. Aki catches his gaze and they share a knowing look. They’re both thinking the same thing.
The last second until midnight trips past.
The Dark Hour descends.
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masonte32sistems · 25 days ago
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🦗LOCUST (Locusta) "Destruction is sometimes just the soil being cleared for renewal."
The locust has long carried a powerful and ambivalent symbolism. On one hand, it embodies destruction, gluttony, and the wrath of God—on the other, it can also be a herald of purification. Across cultures, locust swarms are seen as signs of disaster and famine, bringing with them an imbalance in nature and human suffering. Yet, in Christian tradition, the locust is closely associated with Saint John the Baptist, who lived in the wilderness, feeding on locusts and wild honey—symbolizing austere purity and prophetic detachment.
In certain representations, the locust is linked to the Virgin Mary and the Holy Church, especially when depicted as crushing the head of the serpent—a symbol of divine victory over evil.
Thus, the locust is a paradoxical figure: it embodies instability and devastation, but also stands as a reminder that divine purpose may lie even in desolation, calling us to humility, renewal, and the acceptance of spiritual poverty.
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In the C.S.A., Southerners finally got to render explicit their assumptions about the people and the republic. Once secession was accomplished--in eleven, but not all fifteen, slaveholding states--and the C.S.A. was founded as a new nation under God, its leading politicians worked as promised to perfect the republic of white men. This was the vision of the new nation they offered to the world, one dedicated to the proposition that men were not created equal, a beacon of true liberty and a tribune of racial truth against the corruptions of modern liberal democracy and equality. "Confederates did not believe they needed to make new worlds," one historian has written; "they were more than content with the world they already had." Jefferson Davis and other Confederate founders and latter-day propagandists of the Lost Cause cast secession as a wholly constitutional move designed simply to restore government as the founders conceived it. They thus obscure the historical nature of what Confederates attempted to do at such incredible risk of blood and treasure. For, as Davis for one knew, the world was hardly likely to recognize their breakaway nation-state unless it could sustain itself in war. Regardless of what they claimed about the conservative and restorationist nature of their national project, in seceding to perfect the republic they set out to make something that had, in fact, never existed before: a polity purged of the contestations, hedges, and ambivalences about slavery and representation that had defined the republic, the state, and the Constitution since the founding. No, Confederates' vision of a perfected republic of white men was something new unto this world, the only explicitly proslavery nation-state any agrarian elite ever attempted to build in the modern world.
stephanie mccurry, confederate reckoning: power and politics in the civil war south
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foursaints · 3 days ago
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this splashy takedown review of ocean vuong is actually pissing me off so bad. yet i’m most disappointed by how willing the online literary community is to dogpile on a writer of color as soon as they have the thinnest excuse, especially when such a writer dares to be experimental or radical (“i always hated him” “finally someone says it”).
does vuong have occasionally overwrought prose? this is a matter of opinion but honestly yes. yet the reviewer, in his haste to excerpt to cringier sentences, fully fundamentally misunderstands the artistic project that ocean vuong is set on.
OEWABG is a trauma novel, it is in the form of a letter written by the main character to his mother. it is not supposed to be true-to-life in any capacity, but rather true to the narrator’s experience of life - one that is flawed and deconstructed by trauma, and of which conventional language is insufficient to describe. this struggle with language is the central point of the novel, and vuong constructs a dense (often confusing) thicket of prose to portray that experience. sensory details become conflated, tenses shift, the reality of the world vuong creates is entirely informed by memory & emotion - this is justified and made obvious by the fact that The Novel Is Supposed To Be A Letter i.e. Clearly Subjective. like it or not it’s a choice.
tom crewe’s article is offensive because it posits all of vuong’s choices as failures, accidents, or mistakes when they are clearly purposeful and intended to serve the above themes. crewe opens by describing vuong’s prose as “bludgeoning inexactness… not a fruitful, poetic ambivalence, but sheer clumsiness”, and then cites several instances of tenses slipping, unconventional sentence construction, or similes that he finds personally “baffling”, what he considers “hundreds of incoherent sentences and images” as examples of… vuong not understanding english grammar? vuong clumsily making “mistakes” in what is supposed to be a faithful portrait of reality? but vuong was never trying to be faithful to reality in the first place, and crewe comes across as so ignorant and patronizing in his failure to consider that any of these confusing metaphors might have been made that way on purpose.
similarly the article has paragraphs dedicated to critiquing the way the narrator describes his bullies (and other characters) as unrealistic, they come across as cartoonishly evil and “can’t be normal people”, which stands in for a more general “crudeness of representation” that the reviewer finds in the novel. but this critique completely fails to take into consideration that the novel is not trying to paint a picture of reality - it is painting an intentionally flawed picture of the distortions of memory - it is a representation of the author’s feelings, and naturally his description traumatic figures will be exaggerated and larger-than-life. it is so baffling that crewe would fail to consider this and be content assuming that he is simply much smarter than vuong, vuong must not know how to write things realistically (or write simpler sentences). clearly there is no purpose behind that.
vuong is fallible, he can write cringy lines, but he attempting to portray the trauma-informed experience of reality & failure of language to encapsulate such, as experienced by the son of a first-generation immigrant and survivor of the vietnam war. it is a radically sensory novel, it distorts and blends, and whether that is to one’s preference it should be acknowledged as a purposeful choice - not sheer ignorance. and tom crewe strikes me as quite gleefully scathing for a white brit who is condescending to (and assuming the worst of) an asian man writing about the immigrant’s experience. i am tired of men like him assuming asian authors must be stupid, or uneducated, or clumsy, or not knowing what they are doing. ocean vuong at the very least knows what he’s doing - he doesn’t need tom crewe to point it out for him.
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