#essentially a facade that she hates

[trueknave]

“A mare? A mare?!” You’re so transmasc Amalthea

Amalthea the last unicorn ftm allegory the moment that she’s forced to exist as a human woman—IN a woman’s body—she falls into despair and nearly loses her sense of self. When she comes back to being a unicorn, she’s permanently altered by the fact that she’s been the only unicorn to know the sense of sadness and grief that came from that experience. Is this anything.

[rabbitbonesandsheabutter]

do u think longlegs and ruth ever...... um...... ykno.........

for ruths sake i hope tf not‼️

[its-avalon-08]

This is something i have been thinking of. Lando Norris x Sainz!sister. Essentially, both of them are friends with benefits, but they both like eachother more. But Lando makes it seem like he is super casual. So when Y/N asks Lando if he wants to go out for dinner and he says "we arent dating i dont owe you that " and goes with another girl to a club, Y/N is super hurt and is crying in carlos's arms who confronts lando and punches him. happy ending pls

look me in the eyes and tell me how you feel (ln4)

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monaco shimmered under the twilight, a playground for the rich and the reckless. lando norris, ever the showman, weaved through the throngs of fans at a yacht party, a mischievous glint in his eyes. his gaze, however, kept flitting towards a balcony bathed in soft light. there, y/n sainz, carlos's younger sister, leaned against the railing, her laughter like wind chimes.

lando and y/n had a… complicated arrangement. stolen kisses in motorhomes, tangled limbs in hotel rooms, whispered promises that morphed into playful banter the next morning. it was a delicious dance, fueled by adrenaline and undeniable chemistry. but lando, a master of deflecting emotions with a goofy grin, kept it firmly in the realm of casual. he couldn't risk messing things up with carlos, his teammate and closest friend.

the party thrummed with music. y/n, catching his eye, blew him a kiss, a playful challenge in her smile. a thrill shot through lando, warring with the voice of his carefully constructed facade. he sauntered over to a group of models, his trademark grin plastered on. a blonde beauty, all curves and confidence, latched onto his arm.

"hey, lando, fancy a drink?" she purred.

lando, internally cringing, forced a laugh. "sure thing, love." his peripheral vision caught y/n stiffen, a flicker of hurt crossing her features before she masked it with a dazzling smile for a group of friends.

later that night, as the party wound down, y/n approached lando, her usual vibrancy dimmed. "hey, you wanna grab dinner sometime this week?"

lando, caught off guard, fumbled for his usual playful response. "uh, y/n, you know the deal, right? we're not exactly...dating." he winced at the sting in his own voice.

y/n's smile faltered. "yeah, i guess i just…" she trailed off, disappointment clouding her eyes. "never mind. have fun tonight."

lando watched her walk away, a cold knot clenching his stomach. he hated himself for playing it cool, but the fear of ruining their friendship, of losing carlos, held him captive.

he spotted y/n leaving with another guy, a forced smile plastered on her face. jealousy, a green-eyed monster he'd never acknowledged before, roared to life. he spent the rest of the night drowning his turmoil in champagne, a hollow feeling gnawing at him.

rain lashed against the motorhome windows, mirroring the storm brewing inside y/n. curled up on a bunk, she hugged her knees to her chest, body wracked with silent sobs. the memory of lando's flippant "we aren't dating" echoed in her ears, a cruel reminder of their confusing situation.

a creak on the stairs alerted her. before she could wipe away the tears, the door swung open and carlos's concerned face appeared. "y/n? what's wrong?"

he rushed to her side, his presence a familiar comfort. all pretense melted away as y/n threw herself into his arms, the dam breaking with a fresh torrent of tears. carlos held her tight, his jaw clenched, a storm brewing within him that rivaled the one outside.

"he…lando…we…" y/n hiccupped between sobs, unable to form a coherent sentence.

carlos understood. his sister, usually a ball of sunshine, was a shattered mess. he rubbed her back soothingly, letting the tears flow until they subsided into sniffles.

"talk to me, hermanita," carlos said softly, using their childhood nickname for 'little sister.' "did he…did he hurt you?"

shame burned in y/n's cheeks, but she knew she couldn't keep it from carlos. "we aren't…dating, he says. just…fun. but it doesn't feel that way to me, carlos. i care about him, a lot."

carlos felt a familiar pang of protectiveness. he'd seen the way lando looked at y/n sometimes, the way a stolen glance lingered a beat too long. the frustrating thing was, lando clearly felt something too, yet his fear held him back.

"he's an idiot," carlos muttered, the words laced with anger and affection in equal measure. "but you deserve better than being kept in some emotional limbo, y/n."

y/n wiped at her remaining tears, her voice laced with a newfound determination. "i know. i just…i thought there was something there. we laugh together, we…" she trailed off, a blush creeping up her neck. "it doesn't feel casual, carlos."

carlos chuckled dryly. "trust me, i know. you practically glow whenever you're around him." he wrapped her in another hug. "but listen, sometimes guys, especially lando, can be dense as bricks when it comes to feelings."

y/n snorted, a faint smile playing on her lips. "thanks for the vote of confidence in our resident goofball."

carlos pulled back, wiping away a stray tear from her cheek. "look, you need to talk to him, y/n. tell him how you feel. and if he can't meet you halfway…"

he left the sentence unfinished, but y/n knew what he meant. "yeah, i know."

a beat of silence followed, broken only by the drumming rain. "but what if he doesn't feel the same?" y/n's voice hitched slightly.

carlos squeezed her hand. "then he's the one missing out. you, y/n, are amazing. funny, smart, and strong. he'd be a fool to let you go."

y/n looked up at him, a flicker of hope rekindled in her eyes. "really?"

carlos grinned, his usual mischievous glint returning. "absolutely. now, are you up for some revenge ice cream? we can trash lando's favorite video game while we eat it."

y/n laughed, a genuine, full-bodied laugh that filled the small space. "you're the best brother ever, carlos."

"that's what brothers are for," he said, pulling her into another hug. "now, let's get that ice cream and show lando what he's missing."

the next morning, lando found carlos pacing furiously in their shared motorhome. before he could stammer an explanation, carlos launched into a tirade.

"lando, what the hell did you do to y/n?"

the truth tumbled out, a torrent of guilt and frustration. as lando confessed his tangled feelings, carlos listened, his face a mask of conflicting emotions.

"you idiot!" carlos finally roared, landing a solid punch on lando's jaw. "she's been crazy about you for months!"

the pain in his jaw was nothing compared to the dawning realization. lando understood in that moment just how badly he'd messed up.

meanwhile, y/n, teary-eyed, sought solace in carlos's embrace. he listened patiently, his heart aching for his sister. as she sobbed about the confusing, one-sided nature of her relationship with lando, carlos knew it was time for a little brotherly intervention.

lando, bruised and shaken, confronted y/n later that day. he poured his heart out, confessing his fear of losing her and carlos. y/n, hesitant at first, listened, her own vulnerability peeking through.

"lando," she said softly, "we could have talked about it. you could have trusted me."

y/n sniffled, wiping away a stray tear that escaped down her cheek. lando sat beside her on the motorhome couch, his heart heavy with regret. the balcony overlooking the glistening monaco harbor, once a backdrop for stolen kisses, now felt cold and empty.

"i just...don't understand," y/n said, her voice small. "why can't it be more?"

lando reached out, his hand hovering over hers before retreating. "it's me, y/n. i messed up. royally." shame burned in his throat.

"why? you like me, don't you?" she looked up at him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

he took a deep breath. "like you? y/n, i…" he swallowed hard. "i'm terrified i'll lose you."

"lose me? how?"

"carlos," he confessed, the name catching in his throat. "he's my brother, my best friend. the thought of messing that up…"

y/n's brow furrowed. "so you'd rather keep things…casual…than risk our friendship?"

lando winced. "it sounds stupid when you say it out loud."

"it does," she agreed, a faint spark of anger flickering in her eyes. "because it is, lando."

he looked away, guilt gnawing at him. "i know. i'm an idiot."

silence stretched between them, thick and heavy. finally, y/n spoke, her voice stronger now. "fear shouldn't dictate our happiness, lando. not mine, not yours."

he finally met her gaze, a flicker of hope igniting in his chest. "you wouldn't…walk away?"

she shook her head, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "not if you're willing to take a chance, scaredy-cat."

lando's lips curved into a genuine grin. "alright then, fearless leader. let's see where this crazy thing takes us." he reached for her hand this time, his grip firm and warm. "together."

tears welled up in lando's eyes. "i will, y/n. from now on, nothing but the truth."

and that's how it began. a real, honest relationship built on shared laughter, late-night talks that stretched into sunrise, and a fierce, protective love. the paddock buzzed with speculation, but lando and y/n reveled in their newfound happiness. they were a force to be reckoned with on the track, and even more so off it, their playful banter now laced with a deeper affection.

one warm evening, after a podium finish for lando, they found themselves on the balcony of that same monaco yacht party. this time, y/n leaned against him, her head on his shoulder, a comfortable silence settling between them.

"next time," she said, a mischievous glint in her eyes, "dinner's on you. no excuses."

lando chuckled, pulling her closer. "wouldn't have it any other way." he knew, with a certainty that warmed him from the inside out, that this was more than just a delicious dance. it was a love story waiting to be written, and they were finally holding the pen.

news of their relationship spread like wildfire through the f1 circus. fans, initially surprised, warmed to the genuine connection between the young couple. lando's playful side, usually reserved for post-race interviews, found its way onto the podium, fueled by y/n's infectious laughter in the crowd.

their relationship wasn't without its challenges. there were jealous rivals, intrusive media, and the ever-present pressure of the racing world. but they faced it all together, a united front. y/n became lando's rock, his fierce supporter and confidante. he, in turn, was her biggest cheerleader, celebrating her triumphs, big and small.

their love story wasn't a fairy tale. there were arguments, late nights fueled by strategy and debriefs, and the occasional prank war between y/n and carlos (much to lando's amusement and slight annoyance). but through it all, their bond grew stronger.

one rainy weekend, cuddled up in their motorhome, lando surprised y/n with a small box. inside, nestled on velvet, was a delicate necklace. the pendant held a tiny silver replica of a helmet, engraved with "y/n" and their nicknames for each other. tears welled up in her eyes.

"it's perfect, lando," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

he pulled her close, his voice a low rumble. "just like you, y/n."

years passed, and their love story continued to unfold on and off the track. they supported each other through victories and defeats, podium finishes and heartbreaking crashes. they built a life together, filled with laughter, love, and the thrill of competition.

one sunny day, on the podium at monza, lando stood victorious, champagne spraying in the air. but his eyes were fixed on y/n, standing in the team garage, a radiant smile lighting up her face. he blew her a kiss, a silent promise whispered on the wind.

their love story, born under the glittering lights of monaco, had become a legend whispered through the grandstands of every formula one circuit. it was a testament to the power of vulnerability, the courage to face fears, and the unwavering belief that sometimes, the most exhilarating race is the one for love.

[azzibuckets]

this isn’t the end or anything part 2 [pazzi]

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

a/n: pretend kk’s in azzi’s grade😭

word count: 2.5k

part 1 | masterlist

When Azzi walks into the room, Paige’s mind goes blank. In a flurry, her eyes wander from the ceiling to the couch to the boxes of Nike shoes stacked in the corner - anything but Azzi, because she knows if her eyes settle, she won’t be able to help but look.

They’ve been cordial since Azzi arrived at UConn two months ago, holding her boxes as she nervously looked around the apartment. If things had been normal between them, if that conversation had never happened, Azzi wouldn’t have looked so lost and starry eyed when she’d first moved in. She would’ve been already familiar with Paige’s apartment from all the visits they’d planned when they were in high school, late at night and cocooned under the safety of blankets and dreaming about becoming the next iconic backcourt duo. But life was a bitch, and so none of those things had happened, and Azzi had gone through the entire process of signing up for classes, packing all her belongings, and moving into the apartment alone.

And although Paige’s heart aches with longing every time they’re in the same room together (essentially every day since they live in the same apartment), there’s not much she can do about it. Not when Azzi still avoids her gaze. Not when Azzi happens to fall silent every time Paige joins in on conversations with their teammates. And especially not when it’s 12 AM, and Paige is practicing her free throws in the gym, and Azzi walks in, and they make tense eye contact, the atmosphere in the large gym shrinking to a bubble where it’s only the two of them, until one of them inevitably looks away and they end up practicing on opposite sides, only acknowledging each other when a stray ball rolls into the other’s court.

“Azzi, say hi to the live!” KK’s enthusiastic voice breaks Paige out of her thoughts, and Paige smiles a little to herself as Azzi shyly approaches the camera, ducking into the frame to give a little wave. KK brings her phone closer to Azzi’s face. “Azzi, they’re wondering why you’re all dolled up. Give ‘em a fit check.”

Paige scans Azzi’s outfit, only now realizing how dressed up the younger girl is. She’s wearing a light yellow sundress that shows off the sharpness of her collarbone and the fullness of her hips. Her hair’s pulled into a bun, with slut strands framing her face. Paige swallows at the shiny glossiness of Azzi’s lips, wondering if her mouth still tastes like the coconut lip balm she used to always carry with her.

Azzi is positively blushing at all the attention now, with all their teammates now surrounding the camera and hyping her up as she does a little twirl for the live. Paige itches to join them, to tell Azzi how good she looks, but she forces herself to stay on the couch and scroll through her phone, hoping to distract herself enough to slow down the racing of her heart.

“Where you going, Azzarae?” Aaliyah playfully nudges her, asking the question everyone has been wondering.

Paige doesn’t miss the way Azzi’s eyes quickly flicker over to her, then away, before she says softly, “A guy I met at Starbucks asked me out.” Paige knows Azzi is waiting for a reaction, is looking at her from her peripheral vision. Her head swims, and she feels dizzy with jealousy, but she forces her face to remain still and unbothered, even though it feels like something is clawing at her chest.

“Paige, the people wanna see you.” KK nods to her phone, and the last thing Paige wants to do is put on a facade and act happy in front of five thousand fans, but she forces herself to get up and join KK in order to act as normal as possible.

“Doesn’t Azzi look so good?” KK asks innocently.

Azzi feels uncertainty bloom in her stomach. She hates herself for it, but there’s still a small part of her that lives for Paige’s validation. She thinks the world stops when Paige meets her gaze with a piercing stare. “Yeah,” Paige says, her voice low and husky. “She looks really good.” They maintain eye contact for a few seconds before Azzi looks away, trying to hide the red flush of her cheeks. She knows she’s failed when Paige smirks. Unable to stand being in such close proximity with the blonde, she utters a lame, half assed excuse before going into her room to wait for her date to pick her up.

Paige doesn’t know why, but her legs start moving, and she finds herself following after Azzi, slipping into her room after her.

“So you going on a date?”

Azzi startles. The look in her eyes is unreadable, but Paige notices the twisting of her fingers and realizes that the younger girl is just as nervous as she is. “I am.”

Paige nods slowly. “I meant what I said earlier.”

Azzi doesn’t respond.

“You do look beautiful.” Paige’s voice hitches on the last word.

Azzi opens her mouth, but her phone pings with a text before she says anything. She looks down, her jaw set. “My date’s outside.”

Paige’s lips twist into a frown. “He’s not gonna come get you?”

“I told him it’s fine. There’s too many stairs.”

“There’s also an elevator.” Paige is on Azzi’s heels as she gathers her purse and starts heading out.

Azzi looks at Paige, clearly irritated. “When did you become so judgy?”

“It’s basic decency to meet your date at the door, not sit pretty in your car and send a lame ass text.”

Azzi halts, causing Paige to stumble into her. Paige’s hand reflexively lands on Azzi’s waist in order to steady themselves, but Azzi’s quick to extract herself from the older girl’s touch, not allowing herself to relish in the achingly familiar warmth of Paige’s palm. “I’m sorry not everyone is as chivalrous as you,” Azzi spits.

Paige leans against the doorway, a self satisfied smirk plastered on her face. “I love when you get all riled up.”

Azzi gives Paige a hard stare. “Goodbye.” She tries to shut the door, but Paige wedges her foot in the space and runs after her as she aggressively pushes the button to call up the elevator.

“What’re you doing?” Azzi grits through her teeth when the elevator doors open and Paige follows her inside.

“Walking you down.” Paige crosses her arms and leans against the wall. “Have you noticed it’s dark out?”

Azzi loathes the butterflies in her chest that explode. “I hate it when you baby me.” Lie.

“Just doing what your parents asked.”

Azzi’s eyebrows furrow. “What did my parents ask?”

Paige shrugs. “They wanted me to look out for you,” she says nonchalantly.

Of course. Azzi’s ears burn with humiliation. Up to this point, she’d believed that Paige still cared about her, was even jealous over her date. But of course it was her stupid parents, who refused to see that she was grown up and could take care of herself, who had clearly broken their promise that Azzi had forced them to make of not contacting Paige anymore because she couldn’t bear the thought of her family being able to talk to the love of her life when she couldn’t.

Azzi stops in the lobby, clearly trying to get herself together before meeting her date. Paige uses that opportunity to peer out the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of her date. “Is that him?” she points at a man leaning against his car.

Azzi nods, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth.

Paige squints, using her hands as binoculars to try and get a better look at the guy. “Bro.”

“What?”

“Bro.” Paige doubles over in laughter, causing Azzi to get even more annoyed as she looks between the window and Paige, trying to figure out the source of her mirth. “What?” she says louder this time.

Paige, one hand holding her stomach and the other wiping tears from her eyes, takes deep breaths to try and calm down. “I think that guy’s shorter than even KK.”

Heat makes its way across Azzi’s cheeks and neck. She hates the way Paige is poking at every weakness she can find, trying to belittle her date, as if she knows she’s better than anyone Azzi can ever find. “I deserve someone.” Azzi says suddenly, her voice shaky with anger. “You don’t get to have a say in who I date. You lost that privilege a long time ago.”

Paige straightens, her expression sobering as if someone’s just slapped her across the cheek. “You deserve some better than him.” You deserve me.

“Shut up.” The words come out more brazenly and forcefully than Azzi means for it to, and the look of hurt on Paige’s face make her nauseous with guilt.

Azzi turns on her heel, her movements feeling sluggish as she exits the building. She knows she’s running away, running away from her problems and running away from Paige, but she’s been running ever since she shut that damn door and she doesn’t know how to stop.

Paige forces herself to stay planted instead of accompanying Azzi to the car. Knowing herself, she’d probably make a sarcastic or condescending comment to the guy, and even though the selfish part of her wants to send him running, the part of her that is still a little bit in love with Azzi (the biggest part of her) knows that she shouldn’t ruin Azzi’s night, not when she’s put so much effort into her makeup and hair.

But Paige finds it hard to do anything for the rest of the night, thinking about what Azzi could be doing on her date. The thought of another person making Azzi laugh makes her want to throw up. A person who couldn’t even bother picking up his date at the door, she thinks bitterly. So Paige tosses and turns, and as the night gets later and later she can’t help but get more nervous when she still doesn’t hear the click of the door opening. Finally, Paige checks her phone, realizing it’s 2 AM and Azzi still isn’t home.

Almost on cue, she receives a call from Azzi, and she picks up immediately. “Are you okay?” she rushes out, terrible thoughts plaguing her mind. “Are you drunk? Do you need me to come pick you up?”

Her queasiness is calmed as soon as Azzi’s laugh rings out, slightly distorted over the phone but still as breathless and soft as Paige remembers it. “I’m fine,” she says. “I just, um, forgot my key card in my room. Can you come let me into the building?”

“Yeah, for sure.” Paige is up immediately, throwing on a jacket and slipping on her shoes. “I’ll be down in two seconds.”

The first thing she notices when Azzi steps foot inside is how hard she’s shivering. Paige scrambles to take her jacket off and offer it to the younger girl. “It’s fine,” Azzi brushes her off. “It’s only a bit til we get to ours.”

“Tell that to me when you’re not shaking like a puppy in the rain.” When Azzi refuses the jacket again, Paige drapes the jacket over the younger girl’s shoulders anyways. Azzi scoffs, but doesn’t shrug it off. And she definitely doesn’t sniff it.

Paige studies Azzi, not realizing how much she’s missed seeing Azzi in her clothes until now. And although she knows she should be pissed at Azzi’s date for leaving her cold in the frigid Connecticut weather, she can’t help but feel satisfied that it’s her jacket wrapped around Azzi and not a man’s.

As they silently wait in the elevator, Paige thinks of how much better she could do than Azzi’s date. How she would buy the prettiest flowers for her, open the car door, make sure she always has an extra sweater on hand in case Azzi is ever cold - hell, she did the latter even when they were just normal friends. But when she opens her mouth, Azzi must be able to read her thoughts, because she shakes her head. “Don’t,” Azzi warns.

Paige exhales, deciding to opt for the safer route instead. “How was your date?”

Azzi tightens the jacket around her shoulders and makes a noncommittal noise from the back of her throat.

When they enter their apartment, Paige lingers, unsure of what to say but fully sure she doesn’t want to leave Azzi’s presence just yet. “Ice cream?” she suggests, mostly expecting Azzi to turn her down. But she’s pleasantly surprised when Azzi agrees, and she rushes to the freezer before the younger girl can change her mind.

They sit in silence as they settle on the couch and spoon Ben and Jerry’s into their mouths. “Sorry,” Azzi says absentmindedly, tracing the rim of the cup. “I tried calling Jana and Aubrey, but-“

“It’s okay,” Paige reassures. She wants to say more, to say that Azzi could call any hour of any day and she’d always pick up. But not wanting to add more to the long list of mistakes she’s already made that night, she clamps her mouth shut.

“Did you ever imagine we’d be like this?” Azzi’s voice penetrates the silence between them. She busies herself with scooping the melted ice cream from the bottom of her cup instead of meeting Paige’s eyes.

“I’d never imagine that 2000 random strangers on Tiktok would know you’re going on a date before I did.” Paige smiles tightly, hoping Azzi doesn’t see the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. “But things haven’t been the same for a while now, huh?”

Azzi picks at her nails, a nervous tic she still hasn’t gotten rid of. Paige smiles faintly, reminded of the memory of them holding hands for the first time. “Your nail beds look horrendous,” she’d remarked to Azzi. Azzi had rolled her eyes. “I can’t stop,” she’d admitted. And before the younger girl knew it, her hand was in Paige’s, enveloped in a warmth that started in the palm of her hand but ignited, slowly spreading its way across the rest of her body. “There,” Paige had declared. “Now you can’t hurt yourself.” Azzi had ducked her head shyly, staring outside the car window to try and distract herself from this new feeling bursting in her chest.

Azzi clears her throat. “I’m still not used to it,” she says softly. “After I met Kobe, I was halfway done typing up a message to you when I realized.”

Paige’s eyes softened. “I saw online. I knew you freaked out.”

“I did.” Azzi paused, bracing herself for her next question. “Do you regret it?”

“Regret what?”

“For kissing me that first time.” Azzi’s voice is pained. The question has been running through her mind since she’d left Paige alone in that room, wondering if all their secretly shared kisses and their moments of intimacy were for nothing.

Paige tilts her head, leveling Azzi with a curious stare. “The only thing I regret is letting you leave.” When Azzi’s eyebrow quirks, Paige forges ahead. “I should’ve fought harder for you. For us.”

Azzi’s breath catches. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do.” Paige leans forward. Her touch is feather light across Azzi’s jaw. “There’s no one else in this world I love more than you.” Then she sits back and casually spoons more ice cream into her mouth as if she hasn’t just changed Azzi’s world with just one sentence.

[gowerhardcastle]

Innovative Relationship Stats in Interactive Fiction

This is the write up I've been most excited to do--this is one of my favorite things in interactive game design--doing cool stuff with stats. I really, *really* wish someone had told me this stuff when I was starting out.

The most ordinary way to handle a relationship stat is to track it with a number that goes up and down according to choices and tests in some predictable fashion.  So, for example, if I do something that Gilberto likes, according to some reasonable option, like “support Gilberto in the argument,” I get:

*set rep_gilberto %+10

And this makes sense to everyone.  I gave Gilberto a gift, I get reputation points with him.  I showed that I’m good at swordfighting, this impresses him, and I get a higher number.

Similarly, if I insult him, if I’m nice to his enemy, if I do something stupid in front of him, I get

*set rep_gilberto %-10

For my first game, this is the only kind of relationship stat I used.  It was the only one I knew!

So the relationships were very simple to track and very simple to test.  If, by the end of the game, Prenzie likes me 72 much, and that’s over the romance tester of >= 65, congratulations, Prenzie and you can have a happy ending together.

You can write a totally fun game never using anything weirder than that.  But I thought it would be fun to share with you some other interesting ways to conceive of relationship stats.

A character who only goes to 0 or 100. That's it. Her relationship stat with you is essentially a boolean true/false. You can do everything for her, but the second you do something she doesn't like, it's down to 0. She loves you or she hates you. This is very character defining. The number tells you everything you need to know about the character.

That same character, who only goes to 0 or 100--except that you can do something over the course of the game to change them, to allow them to have a broader range of relationship numbers. Suddenly there can be shades of relationship. You did something to help them mature, to understand people better.

A hidden relationship number. If you look at the stat screen, whatever you do, nothing will change their number. They neither like you nor dislike you. They are professional, perhaps, and nothing more. However, you can do something to break down their shield or facade, and then, you can see the number moving; or perhaps the number doesn't move at all until that shield is broken.

The above, but in reverse. Something happens to chill someone's heart, and then nothing you do can affect the number. Or perhaps it can only go down, and then you are in a constant battle of attrition where you can only lose affection from someone.

When you reach a certain level of love and trust from someone, the bottom of the scale raises permanently. No matter how much I annoy my true love, the number just bottoms out at 40.

A relationship number that can be tapped as a resource. The bartender at the Noble Gases Club likes me reasonably well. Let's say she likes me 60 out of 100 much. When I need something in an emergency, she can do astonishing things. If I have over 35 relationship with her, she'll help me. Each time I use her, it depletes her by some amount depending on how big a favor it is. So this one is interesting, because now I have to balance whether I want to keep her liking me because I want to pursue this relationship, or whether I just really need her help right now.

A relationship number that can be a catch-all variable for a test. If you have a high relationship with Toppers, the club millionaire, I can throw that in as a variable in a test to see if you can impress someone by talking about high finance on the grounds that you may have had a conversation with Toppers about her money in the past. (*if intellect + toppers >= 50) Then, if you pass the test *because* the Toppers variable made you cross the threshold, you can add flavor text talking about that conversation with her. This is very, very good, because it tells the player that the game has taken into account your having done things to get close to Toppers (and there's a reward for it--you passed the test, sure, but...here's more content, too!)

A degrading relationship stat is incredibly powerful and characterful. This stat declines, scene by scene unless you do something to raise it. This is a "what have you done for me lately" person, and even though it take a little setting up, code-wise, it's really powerful, and your player will feel smart for figuring out that's what's going on. Also, it's stressful. If you want to create that stress, this a great way.

You can, of course, do the opposite--this is how you code your biggest fan. I like you, and I just keep liking you more and more and more and more!...until you do something to halt that, at which point, the growth shuts down, which is a gut punch. The numbers tell such a story here.

Finally, numbers that seem to tell a different story than the narrative. Players are going to look at numbers; they are going to look at the stats. Not everyone, but a lot. And so they are part of the story, they just are. So you can make them part of the push-pull of romance, for example, or rivalry. What does it mean that as my relationship number with Haze goes up, they are more and more standoffish? Does their scale mean something different from other people's, and if I figure out out, will I understand them in some sense? Perhaps there's a tremendous amount of pushback in the 60-75 range, but once you get through that minefield, something changes?

More musings on game design and other Jolly Good stuff here (I just wrote up a thing on "hidden relationship stats and their use")--I'm on a relationship stats kick today, I suppose:

[real-sizzlipede]

Gaaaah ok now I've had time to process and I can finally write out my thoughts on 3.3 so SPOILER WARNING OF COURSE DONT READ UNLESS YOUVE PLAYED IT OR WANT SPOILERS IG

-i gah I didn't think I'd love cipher and hyacine this much but g a h they fr are making me love and lose e v e r y fucking chrysos heir huh 💀💀

- cipher pulling off the grand lie is s u c h a good way to take her character to me I spent the whole time last patch being like "ok she's like pretty useful but like what role does she play in the grand scheme of things" and o u g h i was not disappointed as soon as they mentioned 300 years of light from the daylight device I was like "wait a fucking second" and gah it's such a cool way to use her power for the greater good

-aglaea aglaea aglaea g o d at the beginning of the amphoreus quests I was 50/50 on her but after these few missions gosh I cried when she died and her and ciphers relationship gah

-i cried so many times this update I cried at every death I cried for the whole half hour after it was great and horrifying and gah they're all gone 😭😭 and I am so torn up about it

- phainon??? Gah oh my g o d ok after 3.2 when he gave the speech I was like wow this is like a different guy and i knew it was because he was upset at everything happening but especially after aglaeas passing him having to take up the role of the leader of the chrysos heirs and essentially the whole city which is essentially all of the people in all of amphoreus, he is grieving and upset and hurting so s o badly and trying to keep it together and I think that his writing being so different this patch really reflected that. I understand people not liking it because he seems like a different character than he was and that's because he essentially I s now with everything he's gone/going through. Originally when his drip art came out I went "this seems so out of character but I like it because I know that he puts on a facade all of the time anyways" and after this patch I'm like "oh this is t h i s phainon" this is hurt grieving angry still protecting everyone and holding it together phainon and it just gah it hurts my heart so much

-phaidei (bc what am I if not a fan of yaoi) oh my God "did you forget about me?" "it's a date, mydeimos" the fact that they promised to see each other again instead of saying goodbye just breaks my heart especially when mydei dies and phainon doesn't even know right now and it is killing me from the inside out 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-ohhhjh the scepter????? Gah the scepter!!! As soon as herta said "a fourth one" I was like "no fucking way they're bringing back the scepters" AND THEY ARE!!!! GAH but also that plus Lord ravager explains all of the chaos and turmoil and the scepter also explains all of the technology that amphoreus has that seems so out of place to me!!! But like I get it now!!! It makes sense!!! I am just worried that it's going to wind up being a "the people of amphoreus aren't real and are all a simulation" but like haha surely that won't happen (I don't know)

-the two amphoreus theories!!! I am really hoping this is true and so we can see all the pookies again but also like I want o u r pookies I want the ones that are dead to not be dead adjfksjdj I don't want other pookies that are but aren't them 🥺🥺 but like I think it's a very good theory and especially with the fact that there's a scepter in amphoreus it can definitely happen.

-ok quick note Abt the 2 amphoreus theories STOP SAYING ITS LIKE 2 SIDES OF A MOBIUS STRIP BECAUSE A MOBIUS STRIP ONLY HAS ONE FUCKING SIDE THATS THE WHOLE POINT ok thank you :)

3.4 LEAKS SPOILERS AHEAD

- oh my God phainon looks so good and also so ough I'm terrified but I love it but I hate that everyone's gone

-thw design??? The longer hair and golden eyes??? Dare I say he looks like mydei (good Lord) and I also want to point out the white and gold color scheme that makes him look like aglaea too which ough 😭😭 he's truly taking over the leadership role but also no one else who is a chrysos heir is even there to lead anymore 😭😭😭

-the moveset looks insane and I saw something where he has a bunch of actions in quick succession?? But like there was a countdown and stuff and like gah

-anyways I am glad I have been saving since drip art release because good fucking God I need him to be on my account

[cloudyynebulas]

HIHI I HAVE A REQUEST!!!

Ok so may I please request a first meeting fic with crunchy chip x shy reader who is shorter than him?? Since crunchy chip is already very short it would be surprising for him to meet someone even smaller

bonus if this is a first meeting fic!!

double bonus if reader had never had friends before, so they are a little suprised and scared

triple bonus if it’s like the trope where they both like each other but nobody actually confesses

❝ 𝗦𝗘𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗔𝗥𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗗, 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗥𝗧𝗜𝗘! ❞

crunchy chip cookie x reader.

reader is gender neutral.

this takes place during the events of cookie odyssey.

⋆° .☾ ⋆ .ೃ ࿔* : ⋆

LIFE IN THE LOWER-HALF OF THE REPUBLIC was not a paradise. Far from it, really. Cookies who lived in the lower half often struggled to get by, with shady crooks and criminals around every corner.

You grew up in this life, raised with a family who did everything in their power to support you. Despite the harsh conditions, you all continuously managed to scrape by - even making a few shady trades and deals every now and then.

Secrets whispered and danced around each and every alleyway, amidst the musty air of suspicion and dampness.

Cookies from the higher levels of the Republic often dreaded taking one foot in this place, muttering distasteful insults and incomprehensible nonsense that you could only guess were hateful remarks stabbing at you and the rest of the lower half.

Could you be bothered to care much anymore? Not.. really. You spent your entire life living in such conditions, and with time came endurance. You kept up your botherless facade, hiding behind a mask of your true self - someone who was afraid of the world.

Years of constant teasing, insults and other things thrown your way made you build up a decent tolerance, but no matter how many years of this treatment went in and out of your head, it didn't change the fact that you - deep down, were insecure. Insecure and afraid.

But the only way to survive here was to act tough. Don't show weakness - don't show fear.

Your hand rested on your cheek, propping your face upward as your face was plastered with a bored expression, standing behind a wooden stand that offered various goodies and toys for passersby to stop and take a look at.

With your family away on some sort of trip, you were essentially left alone to run the stand, to keep money flowing in. You recalled that your mother was hesitant of the idea, but after reassurance from both you and your father, she ultimately agreed to let you be on your own.

You were an adult. You could handle yourself, anyway.

..Probably.

Behind the stand, you stood on a medium sized wooden crate, holding you up to extend your height so that you'd be tall enough to properly grab any items and greet customers properly. Your height was laughable - a size that you were constantly picked on by many as you'd roam the damp streets.

You weren't exactly tall - no, scratch that, you were far from tall. You were just barely taller than the average teenager - but that wasn't saying much.

You assumed your dough was just .. smaller. A smaller batch. That was all it was.

But the constant teasing or the occasional side-eye that was thrown your way was one of the worst things about it.

Your hands tightly clenched together into fists. Your brain just thinking about it all made anger bubble into your dough - your thoughts wandering.

However, your thoughts were soon interrupted by the sound of voices - voices you certainly hadn't recognized or heard before. The Lower Half of the Republic typically had the same Cookies day after day, with the rare occasion of a Cookie from the Upper Levels stopping by for who knows what.

A trio, from what you could guess - was walking down the streets of the Market. A small gingerbread Cookie with a candy cane in his hand, a tall, gruff armored cookie with a metal gauntlet, and a smaller cookie with an attire of blacks and whites, woolly clothes and sharp claws attached to his hands - alongside a cream white wolf following beside him.

You raised a brow.

You'd.. certainly never seen these Cookies before.

"Wow.." you heard the Gingerbread cookie let out a gasp of awe, eyes looking all around the Market street. "So this is where one of the big Markets are?"

The armored one nodded. "It would appear so. Although this place seems rather... sketchy."

"This place gives me a vibe that I don't like!" The woolly cookie spoke - though his voice was almost loud enough to be considered shouting. "Cream Wolf! Check to see if you can smell any of those White Mask Cookies."

The Cream Wolf barked in response, it's nose vibrating up and down as it was quick to sniff the area, trying to discern any suspicious scents.

You sweatdropped. What in the world was going on here?

Various Cookies of the Market side-eyed the trio that clearly stood out like sore thumbs. Cookies that weren't from here - outsiders, most likely.

Most backed away from the furry animal that would get up in their personal spaces, growling and sniffing for scents of the supposed "white masked cookies" you heard the small Cookie mention moments prior.

You felt yourself slightly freeze up in surprise when the animal's eyes turned towards you - its next target. You instinctively took a step back, which only inclined the Cream Wolf to approach faster.

You paled. You really didn't want to get caught up in any of this nonsense -

bark!

You squeezed your eyes shut, hands slightly trembling, but after seconds of nothing actually happening, you slowly cracked one of them open.

The wolf was sitting in front of your stand, eyes clearly fixated on one of the squeaky toys you had sitting out for sale. Your eyes glanced between the toy and the wolf - the dots connecting silently in your mind.

Oh.

OH!

Slowly, you reached for the toy, your movements being watched intently by the wolf - whos tail began to wag, expecting you to throw the toy for him to catch and bring right back to you.

"HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??" an alarming voice is suddenly yelled in your direction, and both you and the wolf turn to the right, where the trio stood, heading right your way.

You felt a bead of sweat roll down the side of your face. You hadn't meant to attract attention -- !!

"Cream Wolf! Don't fall for these sly tricks!" the small Cookie grumbled, said wolf being beckoned back towards him, though its eyes were constantly looking back at the small squeaky toy still in your hands.

"Err.. Crunchy Chip Cookie? I don't think they were trying to do anything.." the small gingerbread Cookie nervously chuckled, trying to calm his companion down.

..Huh.. so now you knew one of their names. You took mental note of that.

"I have to agree with Gingerbrave here. Besides - we don't want to be attracting unwanted attention, especially not here." the armored cookie frowned, sending you a glance. "Apologies if we startled you."

You felt yourself being thrown on the spot, not really knowing what to say.

Crunchy Chip Cookie, however, was immediately up close in front of your stand, gaze looking you up and down.

"Just what exactly were you planning with that weapon of yours, huh?" he interrogated, eyebrows furrowing. "Don't think you can fool me! I just know there's some kind of secret evil bomb inside!"

You tried to speak, hoping to defend yourself. "I-"

"Crunchy Chip Cookie, seriously." The armored cookie huffed. "You're clearly startling them."

"We can't just be accusing random Cookies - !!" the gingerbread - or, Gingerbrave, as you heard the armored Cookie mention, agreed. "I think.. it's just a toy."

The Cream Wolf let out a small bark, eyes excitedly staring between the squeaky toy and Crunchy Chip Cookie, as if trying to send a message to him.

Crunchy Chip Cookie hummed in response. "..Hm. Well.. if it was a weapon, I'm sure my Cream Wolf would've smelled it by now."

You glanced to the side for a moment, internally cringing at the sight of passerby Cookies observing the scene - eyes constantly staring at you.

"You don't seem like much of a threat, anyways!" Crunchy Chip Cookie chuckled, placing his hands on his hips.

You deadpanned.

Okay, now you felt a little insulted.

"Hey now - I can be a threat!" you blurted out, your thoughts escaping into words. "Just 'cause I'm small doesn't mean I can't beat you up."

The trio stared at you.

You were quick to regret running your mouth, letting confidence get the better of you.

Gingerbrave frowned. "..You don't look small! You stand .. rather tall behind your counter."

"They are standing on a crate," the armored Cookie quickly informed. As the tallest of the trio, it only made sense that he'd managed to see the small crate you'd been standing on just behind your counter.

"Wait, really?" Gingerbrave hummed, slowly glancing behind your counter. "Oh - Wildberry Cookie, you're right!"

"Can you not?!" you glared, making Gingerbrave quickly step back, sending a nervous, apologetic smile your way.

"Why are you faking your height?" Crunchy Chip Cookie questioned. "Look at me! I may be shorter, but that doesn't stop me from being a warrior!"

You frowned. "If I didn't stand on this crate, I wouldn't be able to reach most of the items."

Crunchy Chip Cookie scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous! You might be short, but not that short!"

"Are you doubting.. my height???" you deadpanned. "Fine then - I'll demonstrate, just for you."

You hopped off of the crate, landing on the damp concrete beneath you. The upper half of your body was still visible over the counter, but everything else was far too short and covered by the counter.

The trio stared with slight surprise - though, Crunchy Chip Cookie's gaze was rather startled.

"NO WAY!" he yelled, immediately waltzing right up to you. "You're - shorter than me?!"

Wildberry Cookie hummed. "This is... new."

"Quickly! Wildberry Cookie, Gingerbrave, compare our heights, now!"

How did you even get into this situation?

Within seconds, you found yourself standing back to back with Crunchy Chip Cookie, whilst Gingerbrave and Wildberry Cookie were observing, comparing your heights together - whilst his Cream Wolf sniffed at your arm.

"Crunchy Chip Cookie.. you're no longer the shortest!" Gingerbrave laughed, holding his candy cane staff in the air.

"HA! Now you guys can't pick on me!!" Crunchy Chip Cookie raised his fist in the air with pride. "Take that, Wildberry Cookie!"

"..I haven't even said anything," Wildberry raised a brow, but the corners of his mouth curled up into a small smile.

"I feel like I'm being picked on.." you frowned.

"What? Nonsense!" Crunchy Chip Cookie turned to you. "There ain't nothing wrong with being short!"

"We did not intend for it to come off that way. Apologies." Wildberry Cookie apologized, crossing his arms.

Gingerbrave nodded - but was quick to shift the topics.

"..Say, what's your name, stranger? We've never gotten it!"

You stared - surprised. Why were these strangers being so kind to you, a mere Lower Level Republic Cookie? Asking for your name of all things.. were they trying to befriend you? Why?

Slowly, your name escaped your lips. "..Y/N Cookie. My name is Y/N Cookie."

"Y/N Cookie! That's such an awesome name!" Gingerbrave beamed. "You may've already heard it, but the name's Gingerbrave!"

Wildberry Cookie nodded. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm Wildberry Cookie."

"Crunchy Chip Cookie!" Crunchy Chip Cookie announced, placing a hand over his chest. "I am a sworn warrior of the Dark Cacao Kingdom!"

He turned his head to the Cream Wolf.

"And this is my best friend - my Cream Wolf!"

The Cream Wolf lets out a small bark in response.

You find it hard to hold back a smile. Gaze softening at the sight of the trio, finding yourself no longer regretting the encounter between you four.

"We must keep moving, however." Wildberry Cookie spoke, ending the introductions. "We're.. on a mission of sorts. I believe Espresso Cookie is expecting us, soon."

"Already? But it feels like we just got here!" Crunchy Chip Cookie frowned. "We haven't yet fully explored these areas!"

"I'm sure we'll get more time to do so later!" Gingerbrave reassured.

You let out a light chuckle, stepping back onto the wooden crate behind your stand.

"If you three have places to be - don't let me stop you."

Your hands moved towards the squeaky toy left on the wooden counter, slowly picking it up, before turning to Crunchy Chip Cookie.

"Though, before you go, take this."

Before the Cookie had anytime to refuse the gift, you'd already tossed it his way, the toy fumbling in his hands momentarily before landing carefully in his palms.

"Something for the road - on the house!" You smiled, a small wink escaping your expression. "It seemed like your Cream Wolf there really wanted to play with it."

"Cream Wolves don't play such foolish games!" Crunchy Chip Cookie refuted, but between the three of you, you all knew he was lying.

"..thank you, though." Crunchy Chip Cookie softly muttered, pushing his woolly scarf closer to his face as he spoke, looking away from you.

You chuckled, waving the trio goodbye as they began to make their way back out the streets of the Lower Market and back towards the Central Republic.

You had a feeling you'd be seeing them again soon.

⋆° .☾ ⋆ .ೃ ࿔* : ⋆

When the trio had finally reached the Fountain, Crunchy Chip Cookie suddenly spoke up.

"After we meet with Espresso Cookie, we better go back."

"You seem in a rush to get back there, Crunchy Chip Cookie!" Gingerbrave pointed out. "Any particular reasons?"

"To - to keep exploring, duh!" Crunchy Chip Cookie huffed, looking to the side.

Wildberry Cookie softly chuckled.

"Whatever you say."

[crustyfloor]

While the notion that Sua had omitted the full truth about death to Mizi, and that's the reason Mizi resents her, is still true, the new comic might present a new reason for why Mizi resents/hates Sua as much as she loves her, and it deepens the complexity of the former reason in Mizi's perspective (plus I'm just here to ramble about some of Mizi's struggles more)

Mizi resents people for objectifying her, because she is a beautiful, friendly girl, she's crowded and adored by many but not understood, that's how she encounters so many people who believe they're entitled to her because "that's the rule" or because, well, why should she say no? Just like that dogshit npc who essentially accused her of leading him and others on because she was intentionally acting foolish and exploitative without any worries, (very similar to the way women are treated like Satans spawn-like temptresses in real life if they dare disappoint and not please)

Mizi resents people who don't think about getting to know her beyond what she represents or what she can offer them. things that simply contribute to how much of a pampered object she appears to her peers, that's why she was so disappointed by Till's answer. There might be men in a woman's life who won't know anything about her, won't care about her as a person, yet will still be adamant about their feelings even against her wishes; it just reaffirmed her self-hatred. She wanted a friend out of somebody she genuinely admired and cared about and felt like she couldn't because his idealization really set him back and put a strain on their dynamic, "Is it that hard to not like me?" (side note it seems like an odd question from her because it prompts an obvious answer, probably sounds a little dense too but I think it's genuinely what Mizi resents, that like other people around her, it is so hard for him to get over it and see her beyond the idealized perception, and she thinks its her fault for it)

Mizi resents people for assuming everything about her, or thinking she's genuinely so perfect and has it easy, while she knows how much she struggles, she genuinely doesn't want people to hate her and she doesn't want to hate people in turn so she feels as though she must internalize it and not burden others. (That's in part where the people pleasing comes from, if not out of necessity, she's genuinely just kind, but doesn't know how she can possibly make everyone happy, so it's easier to pretend)

(Again, it's so fascinating how Mizi presents a lot of parallels to women's struggles in real life because this comic, in some parts, is a commentary on that stigma and normalization )

That's why the scene with Mizi and Sua is so significant to me, because while Mizi is bitter toward people who perceive and treat her a certain way, she's especially upset when Sua does it too, the person she loves most and confides in most, is accidentally dismissive and insensitive to Mizi's experiences because Sua too believes Mizi has it easy, she doesn't fully understand- "at least you don't get dragged around like me, must be nice right?" She ends up sounding like the other people that Mizi is upset with

I described this a little in some other posts, but all in all, the way Sua believes Mizi's people-pleasing bubbly facade at times, and Mizi too wanted companionship and an escape in Sua, is the reason they're co-dependent on each other, it's the reason why Sua is so protective of keeping Mizi as naive as she thought she was, because Mizi's happiness was her escape, that too is the reason she felt like she should keep pretending and lying until they had their time on stage. After Sua dies, Mizi realizes that Sua must've known about the full truth of death, yet didn't tell her, Sua didn't want to taint Mizi's "perfect and oblivious personality," and so lied to her; it's similar to other instances where people assume things of Mizi, and what they think is out of her control no matter what she says, so I think this just adds more complexity to Mizi's reaction to Sua's death, Mizi's upset that she thinks Sua assumed she wouldn't have been able to handle it, that she didn't need to know, and so left her clueless, because of that Mizi wishes she could've been able to do something and she hates herself for taking on that facade in the first place and "causing Sua's death" like the manipulative and exploitative person she thinks she is

[asterinthesiren]

oh my god. oh my fucking god. i just had the most insane and delusional realization/theory about agatha and rio. hear me out ok

first lets recap. agatha's colors are purple, and rio's colors are green. purple is a mix of red and blue, and we associate red with rage, passion, love and blue with sorrow and grief. green is a mix of blue and yellow, blue being the same and yellow as happiness. bUT HERE'S THE THING OK. yellow is also associated with obsession, sensationalism, and cowardice.

we know for a fact that agatha and rio are bound by their sorrow. they share grief--of being hurt (agatha) and of hurting someone they love (rio). HOWEVER, agatha channels her grief through her rage. she turns her blue into red, and we see this in her snark, her devil-wears-prada act, flaming everyone around her.

and rio? she sensationalizes her grief.

she answers agatha's rage with mocking confidence, challenges her passion with her own obsession, hunting her down but never quite killing her--she processes her grief through this facade of sensationalism, but underneath it all is her own cowardice--which the better word for it here is shame. she clearly regrets having to kill(?) nick, but the question no one seems to be asking is this:

why didn't Rio just leave Nick alone?

yes we assume she's the personification of death. but she said it was her job, which means she has someone she answers to. if rio is everything she seems to be, why didn't she challenge whoever it is that gave her that job? if she loved agatha so much, why cause any harm to nick (her son) at all? it looks like she accepted it so willingly, which is why i think agatha hates her so much. so in my mind, i'm thinking rio is always regretting that choice, and she might have thought it cowardly or shameful. because what could have possibly been powerful enough to punish her?

WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE that Rio's trial is having to face that choice again: Rio's trial is going to be about sacrifice. about LIFE.

and i think it fits with the themes of maiden-mother-crone. there's this really good post that i 100% agree with that delves more about the themes (@shutupineedtothink), but essentially what this person talks about is how jen's trial is birth, and rio's trial is life, which completes the witch cycle. i posit that jen's trial is about confronting death. jen is a midwife. midwives don't just make sure that the baby is delivered safely, they are there first and foremost for the mother--because the mother's life is what ensures the baby's. birth is such a dangerous process, because at any moment both mother and baby could die. the midwife's role is to avoid both from happening.

and that exactly opposes jen's essential conflict: rather than confront death (whether that's the death of her powers, the death of her legacy, or the death of belief in herself), she avoids it. thus, the crux of her trial is for her to confront death, and in doing so, face herself. she's been hiding behind the fact that she's bound to excuse all of the choices she's made so far--the trial, then, forces jen to remember that she's not defined by her binds. her potions and knowledge all help the coven dance with death and leave (mostly) unscathed.

the same goes for every witch--the road opposes their essential conflict and forces them to face it:

alice's conflict is denying the identity her mother passed on to her: how can she protect herself, her loved ones, if she doesn't know her own power? if she doesn't know herself? (in comparison to jen, who already knows her capability and denies it (and has it taken from her), alice refuses to know it when it's being handed to her on a silver platter)

agatha's is most likely her power: she defines herself with it, after earning it with blood sweat and tears from years of study and experience. but without it, who is she? what can she do?

lilia's is her past: she is hopelessly stuck in it. she can't shake all of the things she's seen and experienced. and if she's stuck in the past, how can she be able to face the future?

teen is still a bit of a mystery, but i can guess that his conflict is that he doesn't know where he really comes from--and why he's being hidden (we'll end it at that bc there are so many ways that could go)

THEREFORE WITH RIO, her trial is going to be about saving lives, as opposed to taking them. if rio really is the personification of death, she's the one being in the world who absolutely cannot be attached to anyone or anything. and she's THE green witch: she deals with ephemeral things all the time. flowers bloom and die, animals prey on each other, hell even the seasons are a metaphor for death. but here she is, hopelessly in love with agatha. thus, with rio, i think the road will put her in a position where she has to choose between agatha and teen. if she chooses agatha, she'll risk losing agatha's heart forever, because that will be the second betrayal. if she chooses teen, agatha will die. so i think it'll force her to come up with something to save them both. she has to go against her nature of taking lives the way she didn't when faced with that choice earlier with agatha and nick.

because what else does the yellow in her green stand for?

LIFE.

[marcysmaltedcrayon]

Thinking abt the way that grief and a speration from societal norms has opposite effects on Shauna and Travis.

In season 1 Shauna appears soft and conforming. She generally goes along with what Jackie says, willingly living in her shadow and pushing down all her resentment and frustration. She can’t completely hide her bitterness and her anger but she tries to keep it from spilling to the surface by playing the part of the soft, supportive friend. Inversely, Travis adopts the mask of Shauna’s true personality to hide his kindness and vulnerability so that he can behave like a typical 90s teenage boy (presumably to fit in with other boys his age). Hes a little misogynistic, slightly mean to his little brother, hates being vulnerable and always trying to act more tough/confident than he really - usually by putting down the ppl around him. Eg, telling Nat she should fold laundry when she can’t balance the gun.

Essentially, Shauna hides her agression and meanness behind a facade of compliance while Travus covers up his softness with annoyance and rudeness.

But then in season 3 they’ve lost their masks. Shauna is mean and rude and openly agressive (more so than Travis ever was) while Travis is soft and compliant. He’s learnt that thats the only way to survive and his grief makes him tired and despondent.

Basically, pre crash they were both hiding their real personalities under the shell of what everyone else expected of them but in the wilderness their grief (and lack of outside influences) pushes them to reveal their true selves but who they really are is also currupted and accentuated to an unhealthy extreme because of everything they’ve gone through.

In conclusion, Travis Martinez deserves so so so much better :(

[grimalkinmessor]

The parallels between Tsubomi and Reigen drive me so fucking insane you have no idea like—that shit had to be at least SOMEWHAT intentional even if not in a specifically romantic way.

For one, Tsubomi and Reigen are two of the only few people that call Shigeo "Mob" consistently. (Yes Tome also calls him Mob eventually but she starts out calling him Kageyama-kun and likely picks up "Mob-kun" from Inukawa or Reigen later on). We don't know how Reigen started calling Shigeo "Mob", though we can assume that Tsubomi was likely part of the group of kids that originally misread Shigeo's name as Mobbu to begin with so she's less of a mystery on that front. Maybe Reigen saw it written on his backpack or his shirt tag and started calling him that too, or maybe Mob even just told him that that's what everyone else called him and was what he prefered to be called at the time. Either way, it's a little odd that Reigen's one of the only people who use that nickname when we don't really get a reason why beyond "it can also be read like this", especially since Reigen is a grown man with (presumably) full literacy of kanji and would know how to read it.

Then there's the other obvious parallel that's made in the show; how Tsubomi and Reigen treat Mob. How they see his powers. They're not special, they're just a part of him. Nothing to be scared of—even though they kind of,,,,are lmao. The fact that Tsubomi continues to sit in the park even though a literal hurricane is approaching because she thought Mob sounded upset on the phone happens at the same time Reigen goes sprinting full-tilt into said hurricane because Mob is in trouble always stands out to me. It's less obvious than Mob's own words: "She never treated me any differently because of my powers" "Master never treated me any differently..."—but it's still a pretty blatant parallel to me.

Not to mention that both Reigen and Tsubomi's personalities are actually very similar as well! They're both described as people that hide behind a mask, a facade, while still being brutally stubborn. If Tsubomi doesn't want to do something, she's not gonna do it. While Reigen is more laid back because he's used to getting his hands dirty for work (money), he's still very stubborn himself when he doesn't wanna do something. He'll find a way to wriggle out of it and talk circles around you if you let him. Dimple even says that Tsubomi is the type of person who can't be swayed by words or peer pressure. She and Reigen were actually, again, two of the only people brainwashed through airborne Vibes™ instead of through food like everyone else. The biggest difference between them on this is that while Reigen lies fairly blatantly, Tsubomi seems to only lie through omission. Tsubomi is more of an introvert too, compared to Reigen's extrovert (though you could argue that both of them are good with people, with the only difference being that Reigen enjoys being the center of attention while Tsubomi presumably does not).

Plus they're both pretty goofy too once you think about it lmao. They're both prideful and hate to be humiliated, but they also care a lot about their public image and how people perceive them. Every time the scene with Tsubomi and her friends outside cleaning up leaves comes up, her expressions and panic always remind me of Reigen. And then there's Mob, calm and unjudgemental, willing to help her with no questions asked. Mitigating her humiliation, just like he does for Reigen :)

Another thing that always strikes me is how Mezato says, "If you can accept her for who she really is..." followed by Reigen's echo during his confession: "This is who I really am". Mezato essentially tells Mob that Tsubomi isn't who she seems on the outside and that if he wants to be accepted by her, he needs to also be ready to accept her as well. Which, we don't get to see much of Tsubomi's life outside of Mob—wow just like Reigen—so we don't ever really know who she is beyond that outer mask, but we see her slowly opening up to Mob later, as a friend. But the fact that Reigen's own confession mirrors Mezato's words to Mob about him accepting Tsubomi always makes me vibrate in place a little like,,,Confession Arc my beloved 🙏

I don't know man, there's just so much there, it makes my head spin. I could go on and on about it but I better cut myself off because if I don't I'll start crawling on the walls going feral about it because what, what was the point of this if not to make it clear that the relationship between Mob and Reigen is supposed to parallel his relationship with Tsubomi like what do you MEAN—

[jessicas-pi]

k so I tried to write this as a notfic for my AO3 The Space Family But.. series but I got stuck because I have no plot actually. so. I guess i'll just be rambling about it on here!

anyway.

Star Wars Rebels modern AU where they were all actors in a TV show set in the star wars universe. It was called Quest of Rebellion and was less of a connected story and more of a monster/villain/random-event-of-the-week type show. It was almost more like classic Star Trek, in a way. But in the Star Wars universe.

It starred, in order:

Caleb Dume as Kanan Jarrus, the charming--and slightly cocky, but with a heart of gold--captain of the ship. He completely embraced his character. The rest of the cast was always slipping up and calling him Kanan even off the set. He was by far the fan favorite.

Hera Syndulla as the bright, confident first mate and pilot Layda Dawn. Her character was sometimes a bit more damsel-y than she would have liked, but she was still the role model of a generation of little girls, and she's proud of it. Her finest moment was when she argued her way into having a scene where Layda carried a wounded Kanan out of danger while explosions and epic music were in the background.

Chopper... as... Chopper. He's legit just the same droid. Fully functional and an agent of chaos. Don't ask me how this works, I don't know. Chopper transcends logic. He's too powerful.

Garazeb Orellios as Commander Mel Loorun, the gruff chief of security. He was a stage actor, I'm thinking maybe Shakespeare, before he took on this role and is a little salty about how goofy his character can be. But he's dedicated to the art. He's always in costume, purple alien makeup and all. ALWAYS.  A L W A Y S.

Sabine Wren as Ria Talla, the perky young junior mechanic. Ria got a lot of hate, mostly because a certain writer had a habit of putting Ria in mortal danger due to her own incompetence, and it was in enough episodes that people kind of forgot that she was usually a clever, capable crewmember and an essential part of the team. (She has a personal vendetta against the episode on Zarvon 4, particularly. Everyone knows: you do not mention it to her.) This really got to Sabine, because she wanted to be a role model to a generation of little girls, like Hera was, and instead, she was just plain unpopular.

Ezra Bridger as Dev Morgan, a Jedi Padawan who joined the ship's crew. He embraced his character as much as Kanan did, with far less positive results. Again, this was due to some writers making terrible decisions with his character--half the time, he was the idiotic comic relief, and half the time, he was the smartest one, who saved everyone else. The only consistent thing was his sass. Audience reception to his character made Ria look like a fan favorite. But it doesn't bother him. No, really. He's fine.

The show ran for a few seasons, got a devoted following, and then got unexpectedly cancelled. In the years that followed, the actors kinda sorta moved on with their lives. Well, some of them did.

Ten years later, the cast's lives look like:

Caleb and Hera, whose characters had very unsubtle hints of a romance (which was unexpectedly reconned in Season 4, to the ire of the fandom), actually got married in real life and are now the proud parents of a ten-year-old boy named Jacen, who thinks Quest of Rebellion is stupid and his parents are lame.

Chopper... is still Chopper.

Zeb's gone back to Shakespeare acting---or, well, he's tried to, but after playing a purple furry alien on a sci-fi show, it's hard to get taken seriously.

Sabine lives in a condo her rich parents own. She's currently unemployed and going through some Mental Health Things.

And Ezra can't keep a job down, which he blames on Dev's issues with authority (he just gets so in character, and then management fires him! It's totally unfair!) He's currently looking for a job and is sleeping on the couch at Zeb's tiny apartment. He's been clinging to an upbeat, positive facade with every shred of strength he's got, but he recently set Sabine off on an angry tirade (she was having a bad day to start with and then he mentioned the Zarvon 4 episode) where she says a lot of things to him that are actually things she's been thinking about herself (pointless, worthless, failure, nothing but a joke, nobody wants you here). Well, that was the breaking point that finally brought it all crashing down, and he's hit rock bottom, feeling utterly useless and lost and purposeless.

Which is when the aliens abduct him.

See, unbeknownst to them all, in a galaxy far far away, a civilization of aliens has been picking up on our Earth channels for the past decade or so. Quest of Rebellion is a planetwide favorite. But the thing is, these aliens have no concept of fiction. They think Quest of Rebellion is a docuseries.

And when an evil Empire begins to rise in their galaxy, threatening their peaceful, unmilitarized, defenseless society, they turn to their heroes for salvation.

Help us, Padawan Morgan. You're our only hope.

(Well, Ezra can't say no to that, can he?)

[mhaikkun]

Do you think you could drop some lore on your crimecity ocs? I'm literally OBSESSED with your art! (I love Falk's design so much!)

oh my god I would love NOTHINGGGG more than to talk about the crime city cast, thank you so much for loving falk bc I am a biased creator and he is for sure my favorite of them all

THE PLOT

orthrus is the utopian city of the country of atlas, as close to paradise as one can get on earth. but it harbors a dark secret: at sundown, the civilians retreat into their homes and the villains come out to play. every night, this two-faced city is ruled by unlawfuls, members of the criminal underworld.

WINTER (he/him, 25) "The Raven"

the shot caller, the most feared of all the unlawfuls. he works as a florist during the day and moonlights as a debt-collector, someone who blackmails and threatens his victims in exchange for a price, or else offers his aid to those who ask for it in exchange for a favor. he hates rain and doesn't drink. his surname is lost forever.

FALK NACHT (he/him, 29) "The Bloodhound"

a watchmaker by trade. he served as a high-ranking officer in the military but was honorably discharged after sustaining an injury from an altercation with a commanding officer that rendered him almost completely blind. he can now only detect light with what sight he has left, and he has sinced honed his other senses to make up for this loss. with his eerily keen sense of smell, he eventually became a tracker for the underworld. he hates tardiness and thinks dogs are annoying and difficult. as such, he does not appreciate the irony of being nicknamed after them.

BRENDOLINE BARBARA (she/her, 22) "The Madame"

the daughter of the mayor. her mother was killed as part of the corrupt city councilors' intimidation tactics against her father, magna barbara, whom she loathes for his weakness. frustrated with her powerlessness and the facade of her father's position, she becomes a vigilante.

GIOVANNI MERCURO (he/him, 28) "The Ante"

a croupier who runs the snake eyes gambling house and moonlights as an informant and thief. believing it to be the height of carelessness to be complacent and predictable in a city crawling with vermin, he refuses to be consistent: he never wears the same hairstyle twice, never plays the same game twice, and never sleeps with the same person twice.

ASHCROFT GUILLAUME (he/him, 37) "The Peregrine"

a hitman for hire with the air of someone who used to be noble. rarely getting jobs due to his exorbitant prices, when he's out of money and out of work, he plays the saxophone on street corners and in bars for loose change. as far as assassins go, he's about as resourceful as one can get: his saxophone assembles into a sniper rifle.

JACQUELINE SARTRE (she/her, 38) "The Witch"

proprietor of "the witch's brew" pub, and notorious drug lord and toxicologist by night. she may be sweet and slow to anger, but it's best not to test the limits of her legendary temper. money is her greatest motivator. canonically, she is in a common law marriage with ashcroft, whom she saved from the mortal wounds he had sustained many years ago (but for the purposes of the visual novel, she and ashcroft are both single).

HAYWOOD THATCHER (he/him, 43) "The Hunter"

a coffee connoisseur who gets only four hours of sleep a night and likes all his belongings to be arranged at right angles. in the city of orthrus, its mayor and its law enforcement are essentially decorative. as the chief inspector of police, he is worthless once the sun has set. still, he hunts for the ultimate prey: orthrus' most dangerous criminal, and his old friend.

NOBODY (they/them, ?) "The Gunrunner"

the enigmatic blacksmith turned nighttime weapons dealer, a complete mystery whose voice no one has ever heard. apparently, they like cake and cherries.

there are still two unreleased love interests for the game, but I'm working on their designs!!!! also there's a twitter and an official tumblr (but I haven't updated the latter in a while lol). if you want to support the game, I have a ko-fi too!

[nataliasquote]

Is It All For Nothing? | n romanoff

Summary: You just want a friend. Is that so bad? How is it fair that everyone else gets one but you. What did you do that was so wrong?

Warnings: idk. just depressing stuff ig

Pairings: none. a small bit of Nat x reader but all platonic

wc: 1.3k

notes: I wrote this in 45 mins in one sitting. It’s written in a different pov than usual and idk if it even makes sense. I just typed and didn’t stop until I was done 🤷‍♀️ the idea just came to me and yeah :)

-⧗-

Frankly, being on the sidelines sucked. Everyone knew it yet no matter how many times someone engaged in small talk to be polite or proclaimed they were there to talk to everyone, somehow you were always left out.

It didn’t matter where you were, loneliness followed like a dormant disease. High school sucked, you were a nobody, but thankfully those years were in the past. But your fifteen year old self didn’t realise that your isolation would carry right on over into your adult life.

And sure, it wasn’t all bad. The nights spent chatting with new friends you’d made that day left you on an all time high, but that just made the fall that much harder. And when the low inevitably came, you could only laugh at yourself at your naivety, because why would things suddenly change? You weren’t someone people stuck around for.

Unfortunately, Shield agents were no different. Those in your cohort were nice enough to say hi in the hallway or invite you into group conversations. A couple even chatted with you over lunch. But you knew they only did it because they felt bad. You saw the difference in their demeanor; you were a spy for god’s sake. They were so much happier with their friends, and that didn’t include you, no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself it did.

There was one agent who’s attention toyed with you that little bit more. Natasha Romanoff was a couple of ranks higher, both in social and training status. But she was always kind, no matter what. You conversed whilst waiting for your training session, mainly her listening as you talked. She was sweet, despite her intimidating facade and before long she had you completely wrapped around your little finger.

For a month, you both chatted any chance you got. If you saw her in the cafeteria, you’d make a beeline for her table, smiling at the other agents as you sat down. She responded to you, her eyes holding yours as you spoke, seeming actually interested in what you had to say. She would joke with you, calling you out with a laugh which sent a flush to your cheeks. You didn’t care what she said, she was talking to you. That’s all that mattered. Maybe this was where your life changed for the better. Evenings that followed those days would be blissful and you would fall asleep with a smile on your face, feeling on top of the world all because of the redheaded Russian.

However, as the weeks went on, days would go by with no contact. At first you just thought she was going on more missions; that was her job after all. But then you’d see that flash of red hair in a meeting room or one of the agents talking about something Natasha had said earlier and it hit you sharply in the throat.

Was she just like everyone else? Playing the pity card, building you up only to leave you hanging once she got bored? Natasha didn’t seem like that kind of person, but had essentially placed her on a pedestal, so of course she could do no wrong. That was your downfall.

Emerging from a debrief with Maria Hill, you tucked a stack of files under your arm and stepped out into the hallway. And there she was, a soft smile on her lips. You reciprocated it and made eye contact, opening your mouth to speak. You hadn't spoken in a few days and you hated to admit it, but you missed her.

But Natasha clearly didn’t feel the same. Her eyes caught yours and then darted to the floor, her feet picking up the pace as she walked past. “I’m sorry Y/n, I’m busy today. We’ll talk later.”

Except she wasn’t busy. Because there she was, standing at the end of the hall laughing with another agent in your cohort. It shouldn’t have been, but it was like a punch to the stomach and you quickly turned around, retreating back into the room you’d left to avoid her seeing you watching her.

You knew that agent. They were friends, everyone saw it. And she was nice enough to you too, but jealousy coursed through your veins and turned you into a green eyed monster.

What did she have that you didn’t? Besides the ability to win Natasha over, obviously. Every single interaction you’d had with the redhead suddenly started replaying in your mind, frantically scanning to see what went wrong. Did you overstep? Were you too pushy? Too clingy? You just wanted a friend, was that so hard to understand? Was it so bad to want?

You thought about texting her, but decided against it. You didn’t want to know the answer. What if your worst fears were confirmed? That she only spoke to you out of pity, and quite frankly didn’t want anything to do with you.

It hurt. It really did. Countless times you wished that she was the one that would change your bad history of making friends. Because when you were around Natasha, nothing else mattered. The days of no contact slipped out of your mind. You’d forgive her for anything in a heartbeat… maybe that was the problem.

You thought the world of her. And she saw that. ‘Never meet your heroes’ that’s what they say, isn’t it? And maybe she wasn’t quite at hero status for you, but you looked up to her. Praising her work when she returned from a successful mission, commenting on the ingenious moves she made to lead her team to victory. She was everything you wanted to be as an agent, with one seriously important factor.

Everyone loved her.

Everyone loved her, and nobody knew you. She was the prize rose and you were behind, stuck in her shadow. They didn’t see you as anyone but the agent who sucked up to Natasha. They didn’t see how hard you worked, how many hours you trained, how much effort you put in. And they never would. Because it was too much. You were a try hard.

A try hard in a room full of effortless people.

Effortless just like that other agent was. She’d been rumoured to move up into Natasha’s ranks and onto her mission team, leaving you struggling in the lower levels. It felt almost childish, yearning after the attention of one single person. But no matter how hard you tried, or how casual you tried to be, Natasha would never see you as anything other than a fan girl.

You knew she was capable of giving you what you desired, you saw it with that other agent. The way they laughed together, developed inside jokes and anecdotal phrases that they brought up in group discussions. You saw the way Natasha’s eyes lit up at the mention of her name, how she gushed over her but also teased her at the same time. Their effortless banter had you choking back tears as you sat one table over, watching with blurry eyes.

You wanted that so badly it hurt.

But if you stopped trying, stopped reaching out, stopped lusting after the perfect friendship you so badly craved with her, would she notice? Or would you fade into the background, silently, without a word. Maybe she would be happy, now that you’re no longer bugging her.

Maybe it’s for the best.

[aliceisaperson]

What I think the NPMD gangs favorite Starkid musicals would be

Steph:

1. Black Friday

Steph would probably really appreciate the anti-capitalist and anti-consumerist themes of the show (even if she doesn’t necessarily put them into practice). The critique of modern so called “good” democratic politicians would be something she would absolutely love. I also think unfortunately Steph has nuclear level daddy issues so the whole story being centered around a father trying so hard to make his kid happy after the other parent dies would make her violently sob.

2. Firebringer

Kind of similar reasoning to the last one where I think she’d really appreciate the message of the show being a critique of modern society. I think Steph also appreciates a good WLW romance.

3. Cinderella’s Castle

She’d definitely love the music style of the show, pulling a lot from 80’s synth and such. She’d probably also really like the criticism of the attitude of royalty in the show. I can definitely see her having facade on repeat.

Pete:

1. Holy Musical B@man

I headcanon Pete’s main kind “nerd” interest as being superheroes so this one’s a bit of a shoe in. I think he’d really appreciate how to musical parallels real life reactions to things in the comics with their characters as I think he’d be a dork about comic book history. He’d definitely love all the different references, so he’d probably just have fun with it in general.

2. Starship

I’m also of the impression Pete would really like Sci-Fi shit so obviously he’d like this one. Beyond that I just think that he’d connect to message of the show, that being that it’s better to be yourself than to try to push yourself to try to fit a mold of other people’s expectations of you. I kind of feel that’s probably something he’s struggled with before.

3. ANI

Yeah idk. I just feel like he’d really be into Star Wars. I think he’d have fun with how the show kind of makes fun of the prequels a lot since I feel like he’d hate those.

Max:

1. Nerdy Prudes Must Die

Max hasn’t actually seen the show all he just skipped to the parts he’s in and cheers everytime he’s on screen. He essentially sees the story has him killing a bunch of people who wronged him and then getting laid by the girl he’s been pining after.

2. ANI

Ok hear me out on this one. ANI is essentially just a comeback sports movie. Max would love that shit. I think he watched it once at like 2:00am under the covers of his bed because he was scared of someone catching him watching something that was a MUSICAL as well as being about STAR WARS. BOTH OF THOSE THINGS ARE FOR NERDS. He secretly loves it but will never admit it.

3. Cinderella’s Castle

He likes this one exclusively because he thinks the prince is funny and because it has a ton of hot women in it.

Grace:

1. VHSCCs

This one kind of just because it’s the cleanest and has the most wide appeal to people that don’t fall into the typical Starkid audience. It would easily be the one that offends her the least and I think she’d enjoy it.

2. Trail to Oregon

To be clear I do not think Grace would like this one at all. But I do think she went to see it at the Starlight expecting it to be a fun sanitized musical about the actual trail to Oregon only to be wildly offended at its contents (especially calling god a “vicious two-faced prick”) and I think she’d went home and wrote an obscenely long Facebook post about it encouraging people to protest it. Again she does not like it, but it illicit a major reaction out of her so it’s making the list.

3. Starship

Ruth and Grace somehow end up studying together one time and Ruth puts this on after their done and Grace is so offended by the idea that “God is Dead” that she blasts gods not dead on her phone until Ruth turns off the show and turns on Gods not Dead instead. Again, she didn’t like it, but it got a major reaction out of her which is close enough.

Ruth:

1. Me and My Dick

Obviously I think the humor of this show would appeal to Ruth a lot. But besides that I just think she’d really connect to it. The show is essentially about a girl who’s perceived as ugly and is super horny getting finally noticed by the guy who’s been ignoring her for forever and getting chosen over someone who’s seen as more desirable. Ruth would love that shit, it’s full on wish fulfillment for her. After seeing the musical it’s now a goal of hers to receive cunnilingus in the choir room before she graduate.

2. Twisted

Ruth definitely gives me Disney kid vibes, so I think in general she’d appreciate this, but also I think this is as musical theatre as Starkid gets and she would love that. I can definitely see her analyzing the complex lyrics and laughing along at the silly ones, and crying at the performances. I just think she’d like this one a lot.

3. A Very Potter Musical

Firstly, I just feel like Ruth used to be a potter head when she was younger so she’d probably love the show because of that, but I also think the low budget charm might appeal to her as well. Besides that though this is another example where I think she’d hardcore relate to another character, that being Hermione. Cause Hermione in the show is a character who’s seen as ugly and is constantly under appreciated by people despite the work she does and then she ends up getting with the guy who’s been ignoring her the whole show.

Richie:

1. Nerdy Prudes Must Die

I think seeing his own arc on screen would make in sob violently. He’d hate it but he’d love it. It would be utterly devastating.

2. Starship

Idk kind of just vibes here. I think Richie definitely has a crush on February and he wants the show to be adapted into an anime.

3. Me and My Dick

I don’t think Richie is a big theatre person but I think he would have an appreciation for low budget theatre charm. I don’t think he likes or knows anything about harry potter so I went with another one of the older shows. I also just feel like he might relate to *character* Joey Ritcher.

[gimgerrat]

Ok, so I'm a little late to the analysis party for Ave mujica, but I really need to ramble about one of my favorite characters. Nyamu in my opinion has some of the best writing I've seen in a long time, and it makes me a little insane. Which is saying something as we also have characters like Uika and Mutsumi. The funny thing is that Nyamu isn't one of my blorbos I just really love her.

Anyway, Nyamu is a very complex character that has so much to her that it's nearly impossible for me to go over everything. Nyamu as we know her doesn't change all that much over the course of the series, staying relatively true to herself. She's competitive, abrasive, selfish, unagreeable, and goal oriented. These things do not change about her, and that is what makes her so compelling to me. However, what does change is what her goals are and the means/lengths she will go to achieve them.

At first, Nyamu would do anything to achieve her goals, blatantly going against the advice of Sakiko with the unmasking of the band members so she could get clout from the fame. Later on in the series, Nyamu's approach changes, mainly due to Mutsumi/Mortis. She's both insanely jealous of and admire them. She's aware of the advantage that they have in the acting industry due to their connections with their parents and the fact she's "naturally" gifted at acting. Something she wants for herself, yet she declines Minami's recommendation. Nyamu a selfish and self-serving character who would do anything for her goals DECLINES a once in a lifetime offer from someone who has the power to make and break her career. It's everything she could ever hope for, and yet she doesn't jump at the chance like she did before. Why?

It's simply because that she wants to topple the giants herself. There's a proverb that is often used in reference to Nyamu a lot, Trampled wheat grows straighter and taller. Nyamu is the wheat being stepped on by Minami, Mutsumi, and Mortis. She at this point seems to feel like she wants to earn her place on her own. I think that Nyamu seeing Mortis with her connections and "natural" talent being handed to her in her eyes on a silver platter. And she essentially wants to prove that she is better, that she worked so hard to get where she's at, and that she did it on SKILL alone. Nyamu is headstrong like that. Another thing that lead me to this conclusion is when Minami states, "Being around that child all the time makes me feel miserable. A monster" Nyamu later reacts with "I really hate it" when reminiscing on it. This is partially self-loathing and part if Mutsumi/Mortis can achieve that level of acting then it must be possible for her too, and she wants to prove it. She wants to surpass the people who she admires the most. To her, Minami comparing her child to a monster is her saying it's impossible and shows that she's given up on being better, that like her declining the offer, shows that she's as much of a coward as she is but unlike her, she's going to face it.

Now, it wouldn't be a Nyamu analysis without episode 10s confession scene.

This scene is so telling for so many reasons, for one it shows while Minami is scared of her daughter Nyamu is not. "I just can't take my eyes off you," is her, acknowledging Mortis for her skills and talents. Nyamu is acknowledging her own skill level to Mortis' and is basically saying that I am going to reach you one day, but right now I see you.

Another thing I would like to point out is just how softly Nyamu says I love you, it almost feels uncharacteristic of her, but it somehow feels like the most sincere thing she's said yet. Almost like she's dropping her facade, her mask, for a moment just to drive home how serious she is. It's also emblematic to the parallels that they both share. Mitusmi, Mortis, and Nyamu all act/mask as a way to survive. This does not mean they are not true to themselves while masking/acting they are, and are doing so in service to their interests. And just like how Mortis drops the act when Nyamu points it out, unafraid to bare the fangs of her truest self, Nyamu lets her own act slip. Even if it's just for a moment, she feels comfortable or at the very least respects Mortis enough to show her. Nyamu is unafraid just as much as she is scared. This moment feels as sacred as it is curated. Right after she drops the mask, she puts it right back on and continuing the act, and so does Mortis to an extent. They both now can see right through each other. This declaration is saying we are equals, even if the difference between us is still great. Their feelings are laid bare not for an audience to see but just for them.

Anyway, I just really love Nyamu as a character as well as her dynamic with Mutsumi/Mortis. I defentily didn't go over everything about her character as there is a lot more nuance that I either didn't see or can't articulate.