#an exploded view is a drafting thing

[practicalsolutions]

Made a drawing the other day called 'Pulse DC Explode', like, god I wish it would.

[lightbulb-warning]

this is getting ridiculous there's so much stuff i wanna draw i need to clone myself immediately

[mona-risms]

◆ MAIN COURSE: Rumi x boxer!gn!Reader

◆ TYPE: SFW, romantic

◆ ALLERGEN WARNINGS: None

◆ NOTES: Let's fucking try this AGAIN. Bc for some reason Tumblr decided to be a nasty little shit and post my draft HALF AN HOUR AGO when IT WAS CLEARLY SET TO "SAVE DRAFT" and I was fucking EDITING IT. But whatever I'm nonchalant

So when a boxer is found out to be dating someone, it's like. Basically fine. Whatever you have your own life outside of the ring, good for you. But when an IDOL does it, the entire world explodes. Rumi's most definitely always exasperated about this but also she's not really all that bothered--she likes her privacy (or as much privacy as a K-Pop idol can get anyway) AND she def likes seeing a side to you that only she will ever see :3c

You could just easily walk out after training and grab snacks you know that Rumi (and the others, bc ofc you can't just ignore your girlfriend's two closest people) loves to eat before heading back to the penthouse. You even get them their favourite ramyeon cups cuz why not? Maybe you even text her if she wanted you to pick up anything specific and she says that you don't have to! Before quickly following it up with what she actually wants and then like a sticker, probably of herself for comedic effect LMFAO

While you're doing that and making your way to the penthouse, HUNTR/X are doing a vlive. They probably just kinda have it so like they can just drop in and drop out whenever, so maybe while they're doing it together, Rumi gets your message and she smiles before she can even stop it. Ofc the viewers WILL pick it up and they're like "OH????? WHO GOT YOU SMILING LIKE THAT" to which the trio immediately scramble aka Rumi says she saw little turtles on her feed and sets Zoey off on a tangent bc they all know FULL WELL why Rumi's smiling. She probably drops out a little later to go do her own thing (code for texting you on the other side of the room)

And then 😭 you fucking arrive 😭 completely unaware of the stream going on, esp if you have earbuds on for music and stuff 😭. The lift doors open and out you pop, immediately making a beeline for Rumi at the kitchen section to say hi, to give her the bag of snacks you picked up on the way, to lean in so that you can--

"AAAAAAAH TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF--"

"I'M TRYING--"

You and Rumi immediately jump away from each other before the latter ducked down to hide behind the kitchen counter, taking you down with her.

"Shit," you hissed out quietly, "sorry, I didn't mean to--"

"No, no, it's okay," but Rumi winced at herself before continuing, "well, no, not really, but it's not your fault, okay? I probably should've told you we were doing a vlive. Plus this probably means that—" she raised her volume for the other two members "—WE SHOULD PROBABLY CHANGE THE COUCH FORMATION!"

"FINALLY! Thought it'd never turn off."

"BUT THE COUCH HAS SUCH A NICE VIEW!"

You stood back up, helping Rumi up in the process and wrapping your arms around her, "A nice view of me, apparently. Still, I probably screwed you guys over, didn't I?"

"What? Pshh, naaaah," Zoey waved it off haphazardly, "it's totally fine! I bet they didn't even notice and Bobby's not panicking whatsoever!"

Of course, it's followed by Rumi's ringtone, prompting her to pick it up—Bobby—and answer, "Heeeeey, Bobby, how's--"

"GIRLS, I'M PANICKING! EVERYONE SAW RUMI WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND NOW SOCIAL MEDIA IS ON FIRE WITH THEORIES ABOUT RUMI'S LOVE LIFE!" Bobby's very panicked screaming is then immediately snuffed out when he forces himself to stay calm, "It's okay. I'm okay. There's a reason you pay me 3% and I am going to PROVE--"

The call is immediately terminated with a beep when Mira, who you hadn't even realised had walked over to the kitchen island presses the merciful red 'end call' button, her other hand already making its way to grab at a snack in the plastic bag. "Anyway. Don't even worry about it. Best case scenario, they forget about it. Worst case scenario, they storm you and the internet for answers--"

"Not helping, Mira--"

"--but it's not the end of the world. You either just wait for it to blow over or own it," Mira opened the bag of crisps and took one in her mouth, "which I'd obviously say 'screw them' and own it anyway, but I know the fans can get a bit--"

"--wild?"

"--wild, crazy, all of the above." The tallest member moves back to her original spot on the couch, holding out the bag for Zoey to take some too, "Just let Bobby handle it—not like their face was shown clearly anyway. And if someone comes up too close to be weird about it, [Y/N]'s a boxer for a reason."

A small laugh left your lips as Rumi leaned back into your embrace and tilted her head to press a kiss on your face, further making herself comfortable, "I'd rather not have an assault charge on me."

"And I'd rather not have to visit them in jail," Rumi added.

"Hey, your loss."

Oh to make an entire twt AU about this.....unfortunately I'm lazy ay eff and will absolutely forget about it in like a day or two

I pray you have your socmed notifs off or else there's like an entire ONSLAUGHT of posts in every single postable platform. Kpop twt is on fire and even people outside of it are getting involved, there's like debates and fights like 'WHO JUST CAME INTO THE PENTHOUSE THAT'S NOT MANAGER-NIM👹👹👹👹" vs "let them live wtf yall crazy" and honestly it's really funny to read. Even Rumi finds it a little entertaining bc all this fuss just bc you walked into the frame and brought them snacks. Bobby and co. are trying their best but like. The devil works hard but the fandom works harder yk

And the THEORIES. Not just about what relationship you have w Rumi, but what you were gonna do before Mira and Zoey started screaming and who you even are in the first place. There's actual WARS happening about this, and fans are all on a scale from "omg happy for her" and "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO US". This eventually reaches boxing twt somehow and it gets WORSE when they EVENTUALLY profile-match you LOL

Now YOU don't know peace either as you go outside. Suddenly ticket sales for when you're fighting TRIPLE bc everyone wants to see and bombard the mystery stranger with QUESTIONS about what your link with Rumi is. And before this, Rumi probably watched all your matches asw. Now she can't even do that bc of damage control 😓 and Zoey sends you pics of Rumi sulking during practice bc she's missing a match of yours thanks to the stream (that most likely has been clipped more than 20x now)

Eventually she'll end up getting so tired—especially if this is taking place post-demon reveal—of having to distance herself from you for a while thanks to the whole thing that at some point during a concert, imagine tone of their other songs has a segment like the Saki seat or smth

The arena had boomed with shrieks and cheers and HUNTR/X's music as they went through their setlist with deadly precision. Though you came to wonder why you were told to sit in this specific seat when before, you were often just given any other place to watch them from whenever they performed.

You weren't really given a lot of time to wonder, however, when the music gets to a certain part—one you knew required certain audience participation—but you simply cheered your girls on as your girlfriend made her way to--

Wait.

"Wh--"

You don't even get your words out before Rumi pulled you up, the spotlight pointedly following her just like the other two's line of sight, and pulled you in for a VERY public kiss.

"YES!" "Ugh, finally!"

But even their mid-song exclamations could only barely be heard at the deafening screams of the venue around you as the two of you are blatantly displayed on the jumbotron. Though it's not like you care, not at that particular moment, as you pull her closer to deepen the kiss.. before Rumi eventually pushes you back down on the chair lightly. The jumbotron shows your shared breathless state, along with the idol's unrepentant grin amongst slightly-smeared lipstick that stayed even as she jumped for the hoop that swept her away.

..Yeah, there was no denying anything anymore.

By god, you love this girl.

The internet implodes into itself after taht, with people showing recordings and clips of your public kiss. But honestly neither of you probably care atp 🤷‍♀️ at least you two can go out together and cling on each other without it being a huge question mark anymore. If anything she'll def own it—wearing your clothes and hoodies as she's spotted watching your matches and everything HAHAHA

[tryslora]

Disability in fiction

This was a tough post to write. 

I saw a post about disability rep, and I kept thinking about it, and wanted to share my own takes on the topic. 

I thought about it for days, trying to figure out how to word it. Then after drafting it, I stuck it in a file for a couple of weeks, trying to decide if I could even post it. This is not a topic that can be boiled down to a simple yes/no kind of answer.

Let’s start with two examples.

1 - I have a short story I started writing (it wants to grow up to be longer, so it’s waiting for time) where my original concept was to write about an older woman who is short and has major chronic pain, and I wanted to dig into fantasy reasons why this pain exists, but at the same time, have her be able to kick ass despite being exhausted and dealing with excruciatingly painful issues.

2 - I once drafted a portal fantasy storyline wherein a young man was transported into a fantasy world, and when he was given a horse to ride, he approached it very warily. He was encouraged to mount, did so, and sat there and exclaimed in shock, “My brain isn’t exploding with snot!” because his allergies hadn’t come with him into the body he had in the fantasy world.

Both stories were designed to be fun, a bit light, maybe even cozy.

So.

In one case, the disabled character remains disabled and kicks ass anyway. And in the other case, the character is magically “healed” and no longer has debilitating allergies that had wrecked his way of life.

This is the difficult part to express: I think both storylines are valid.

Bear with me while I dig into this.

First and foremost: I completely agree that we need more representation in all forms of fiction, especially when it comes to disabled people being able to live their lives. Characters with missing limbs, or non-neurotypical brains, or anxiety & depression, or hearing issues, or sight problems, or chronic pain, or… or… you get the idea. We need all of it, and we need it to not need to be magically healed in order for a story to be considered happy and cozy. Disabled people can be happy, too.

I’m all in for this, and I wouldn’t write the stories I do if I weren’t.

However, there are also moments where I am so exhausted by my body and by everything I deal with inside of it where I do wish for that magical ability to forget that my pain exists. Or for the ability to actually process information in a straight line, or make decisions without writing a hundred lists and accomplishing nothing from them. Or to be able to lie down in a field of grass without regretting it for days while I drip snot and fight sinus-pain-induced migraines.

Sometimes I want to imagine that my life is different.

And that is one of the joys of writing. I can choose to write a story where people like me or the people I know are the heroes/heroines exactly as they are, different abilities and all. Or I can choose to write a story where the problems magically resolve.

Both can be cozy, sweet, and adorable. I can give the character with chronic pain the ability to kick ass, take names, and have a sweet reunion with her ex-girlfriend. I can show all the ways that my disabilities may define how I handle my life differently than someone else, but do not define what I can and cannot do.

But I can also daydream about a life where it’s different, the same way I can daydream about having wings, or being able to teleport. For me, imagining a day with no pain is the same as a day where I can walk through walls. It is absolutely a fantasy, and about as likely to happen.

Here’s the thing: It’s okay to be angry to see what looks like disability being erased. It’s okay to wonder why the author did that, why they magically healed someone instead of letting them be who they were. But at the same time, maybe ask why, and what point of view it’s coming from. Or look a little deeper into the story and how the resolution occurs, and the effect it does have on the character (I suspect that were I to suddenly have a day of no pain, I’d be intensely reckless, given what an idiot I am while IN pain, y’know? And WOW would I regret that later…).

And for authors, think about what you’re writing. WHY is this particular event (keeping disability, erasing it, whichever or both) happening, because the reader will take note of it. They may see things that weren’t intended, but are there as unintentional biases.

Make conscious decisions for why things happen.

Someday I want to get back to both of those examples from the start of this post; I still like both concepts. But I’ll be writing them for very different reasons, and both will be healing my soul in different ways. Different kinds of daydreams. And again, I think that’s valid, too.

[strawberrychampagneglass]

Roses - pt. 1

Paige x Azzi

CW: cursing, implications of domestic violence (ONLY AT THE END), angst, maybe some fluff?, pining

9.3k words DAMN

A/N: holy shit guys I did not think I could pull this off and to think that this is gonna be a series is wild to me. Jokes aside, this took me about 2.5 weeks so expect (somewhat) infrequent updates due to school work and all that. Ik y'all have been waiting so I'll drop the first chapter. Something to be mindful of: initially this thing was in GSV then I changed it to LA last minute and then I changed Nika to Cam and Gabby to Dearica because Gabby and Nika didn't make sense to me at all so yea enjoy AND PLEASE DO GIVE ME FEEDBACK!!! I appreciate it a lot I WILL ADD A MASTERLIST WHEN MY HEART COMPELS ME TO

October 15th, 2028

Los Angeles, California

“Azzi,” her urgent voice calls out to the dark. She nearly trips over the entrance mat as she enters her apartment in the early morning hours. She drunkenly yells for her again as she stumbles towards her bedroom. 

The only response she gets is an echo of her voice.

She lands in her bed with a soft thud, her hand searching for the familiar warmth of another body. When she feels the cold bed sheet under her hand instead, the only thing she can hear is the hammering inside of her head while her heart throbs, threatening to pry itself out of its cage. Tears well in her eyes as she falls asleep. 

When she wakes up and checks her phone, she has one notification: a text message from Curt Miller. While it makes her heart palpitate as she remembers the happy memories, alarms blare in her head, reminding her of the bad that outweighed the good. 

Her excitement quickly turns to bitterness. Paige doesn’t want to play on the same team as Azzi. Not after the incident in her redshirt senior year. Not after their catastrophic argument at the 2025 WNBA draft. Not after she saw a new person with her Azzi. Not after she saw the diamond-studded ring on her fourth finger. 

Most of all, not after she built a stronghold with the most formidable defenses around her heart. 

July 29th, 2018

Minsk, Belarus 

The Belarusian crowd roars during the FIBA U17 Women’s Basketball World Cup final, drowning out the melody created by a screeching flute and deep, dulcet drum. With a very comfortable 32 point lead against the French in the middle of the fourth quarter, Paige is subbed out. She accepts the high-fives from her teammates before taking a seat at the end of the bench. Cheers flood the bench while they watch the clock wind down intently, waiting to relish in the intoxicating adrenaline following the victory. 

The blonde raps her foot against the floor anxiously; her jaw propped up by her clenched fists. From the point of view of her teammates, she is engaged in the game. However, inside of her mind, a storm brews.  She thinks of her best friend, the brunette girl with the number 6 on her back who is sat two seats to her left. Paige indulges in the memory of her fingers lingering on Azzi’s for that extra second after a high-five, their intertwined hands during the national anthem, and even when their shoulders brushed together in the team huddles and neither of them moved.

Her mind continues to wander until the bench unexpectedly explodes with chants of “USA” as the clock winds down into the last minute of the game. Paige springs from her seat on the bench, hollering as the adrenaline pumps through every vein in her body. When the final buzzer sounds, she shakes hands with the opposing team before hurling herself into the sea of navy jerseys. 

The rest goes by in a blur, her adrenaline depletes rapidly. The energetic girl is uncharacteristically quiet during their team dinner and even on the bus ride home where she opts to sit alone in the back, leaning her head against the cool window that soothed her aching head. 

As the bus pulls up to the hotel, Paige and Azzi lock eyes from opposing ends of the bus. The fatigue she once felt is quickly replaced with delight when Azzi gives her a tired smile with softened eyes, making her heart beat erratically. It’s still early in the evening, but the team agrees to celebrate in Cameron Brink’s room, without the coaches’ knowledge. While the team shuffles off the bus in a single-file line, Paige pushes through the never-ending hoard of her teammates until her eyes rest on a familiar brunette. She puts her hand on the brunette’s cold shoulder, catching her attention as she leaned into the warmth of Paige’s hand. Azzi chooses to ignore the pink that rose to the older girl’s cheeks and smiles at her. 

“Are you going to Cam’s?” Paige asks sheepishly, trying to hide her smile. Azzi chuckles before responding with a nod. 

“She is my roommate, so I guess I’m obligated to go.” Paige grins from ear-to-ear as they chat until they reach their respective hotel rooms. She changes into sweatpants and opts for a Hopkins Basketball hoodie. Although it's the middle of summer, the temperatures in Minsk are frigid compared to the Minnesota heat. 

Furtively leaving her hotel room, she spots her teammate, Zia Cooke, attempting to sneak several bottles of cheap vodka into Cam’s room, her shoulders are tense and eyes rove across the empty hallway. Paige giggles before walking over to the shorter girl to offer a hand. When her teammate’s eyes land on her friendly face, the muscles in her shoulders loosen.

“Paige, thank god,” she breathes, relieved. “I was so scared that Carla or Stephen would jump out of their rooms.” Paige laughs at the image of Coach Berube catching Zia while looking like a deer in headlights, juggling 5 bottles of vodka. Feeling bad for her teammate, she takes three bottles from her arms and opens the door to Cam’s room. The two girls are met with 10 pairs of curious eyes who cheer at the sight of the vodka bottles.

***

An hour later, the potent odor of vodka floods the room. Most of her teammates gossip about their crushes back home; others watch the late-night shows on the Belarusian TV channels, a few are even snoring obnoxiously on Azzi’s bed. Paige, who is completely sober, feels irritated from her spot on the floor as she watches the dramatic show that is being projected on the TV. She isn’t sure if it was the lack of alcohol, or if it was the sight of her best friend who presses her body against Hailey Van Lith while an arm that wasn’t hers is strung around the brunette’s waist and resting on her toned abdominal muscles. 

When Azzi notices the blonde’s glare at Hailey, she walks off the bed and carefully treads towards the table of alcohol, pouring a full glass of vodka. Her eyes flick to Paige, who stares at the glass of vodka in her hand. Unamused and frustrated, Paige returns her attention to the show on the TV until she feels a warm hand tilt her chin back. Azzi looks at her, emotionless, as she stands behind her. They stare at each other wordlessly before the older head lands on a soft, toned leg. Her lower lip meets the cool rim of the glass that Azzi filled with vodka.

The brunette moves her face closer before she tips the glass upward while noticing a light streak of red across Paige’s cheeks. “Drink,” she whispers, and Paige complies. She feels the alcohol burn her esophagus as she swallows the oily and bitter liquid. Their faces linger in the close proximity as they breathe in synchronization. It takes every ounce of self control in Paige’s body to not close the distance between their lips. 

“You look pretty,” Paige smiles, hoping for a laugh and a friendly slap across the shoulder from her friend. Instead, Azzi returns a frown with furrowed eyebrows, moving her head away. 

“Paige, I can’t enjoy my evening when you’re glaring at everyone I’m sitting with,” Azzi huffs with an edge to her voice. “Go get drunk and leave me alone.” Paige scowls; she knows that Azzi isn’t exclusive to her, but she wants some exclusivity. At the end of the day, they’re just best friends, nothing more. Nevertheless, the thought of another girl’s body pressing her body flush against Azzi infuriates her. From her spot on the floor, she feels the warmth of her friend’s body disappear as she walks back to her spot next to Hailey. 

She grabs her wallet and phone and leaves the room. 

***

When she returns to her hotel room hours later, she slams the newly-bought bottle of vodka on her nightstand, shaking the entire room. It isn’t a big bottle; it’s around the size of a Gatorade bottle. The cashier at the convenience store didn’t bother checking the 16-year-old’s ID, assuming she was of legal drinking age. She popped the cap off the bottle and brought it to her mouth. Her lips begin to form a suction around the opening as she tilts her head back, swallowing the searing liquid. She throws the rest of the liquid down her throat when the thought of Azzi’s words cross her mind. She tightens her grip on the bottle and her tongue scours for the last few drops of the liquid, hungry for the feeling of the alcohol. She sits on her bed in silence, staring at her feet until she feels the effects of the alcohol course through her veins. Her vision begins to blur and the entire room begins to swirl. Through her blurred vision, she still manages to identify the lamp that sits perfectly still on the nightstand. Her free hand reaches for the dangling chain that serves as a lever for the light. Giving it a slight tug, the light flickers briefly before illuminating the entire room. To her shock, a familiar brunette girl with bronze skin sits across from her.

“Are you done being an alcoholic so we can talk?”

“Azzi, what the fuck?” the blonde stammers, frustrated. She sets the bottle down and stares at her friend in disbelief. When Paige gets no response from her, she stands up and starts stumbling towards the door, nearly tripping over herself.

“Paige, wait,” Azzi catches the blonde, observing the older girl’s cloudy eyes. Even while drunk, her blue eyes remind her of her lake house; her second home. The thought makes her heart flutter despite the agonized look painted across her best friend’s entire face. “I’m sorry, we can talk about this if you want. I know I hurt you, and I take full accountability for it.” 

Paige knows she is in damage control mode, but she has a soft spot for the girl; a part that is willing to forgive her and move on. 

She chooses to ignore it and let her irritation control her words. “You didn’t want to talk before, so you don’t get to talk now,” she hisses. Azzi flinches, unaccustomed to her hostility. “You told me to leave you alone, and now you’re in my room, begging for forgiveness. I don’t understand you.” Her arms fly erratically before reaching the collar of her hoodie, tugging it down to ease her tense muscles.“For god’s sake, we’re best friends. Sure, best friends tell each other everything, but my best friend doesn’t get to tell me to leave her alone and show up in my hotel room 2 fucking hours later.”

“I’m not yours, Paige. You don’t have any right to control my actions.” The retort makes Paige wince. “If I want to be with Hailey, you have to respect that. I have a right to be frustrated because I don’t belong to you.” 

“Okay, how about a heads up next time instead of you getting cozy with someone else in front of your best fucking friend. I thought we agreed that we would ‘see each other later’” 

“She was drunk and she came up to me, and we did see each other. There was nothing binding about that agreement. I can be friends with other people and you can too, unless I’m your only friend.” Azzi’s anger rises as well as she picks at her cuticles. 

“You’re an asshole.” Paige breathes, releasing the hoodie. “You tried to get me drunk while trying to seduce me.” The other girl’s mouth opens before getting cut off. “Then, you went back over and cuddled up to her. I don’t have a problem with you seeing people, but even a short-term notice would’ve been nice. It’s fucking awkward when I’m sitting there–surrounded by drunk people who are all passed out on the damn floor–and my best friend is cuddling up to a person we barely even know.” 

“You know what? You sound really fucking insecure right now. Maybe you should go book a flight back to fucking Minnesota and we’ll never have to see each other again. You’ll never get jealous over me when I go on dates with other people.” As soon as the words leave her mouth, she wishes that she can take them back and shove them down her throat. Paige stares at her, emotionless. After a few minutes, Azzi’s voice cuts through the thick air. “Say something, please. You’re freaking me out.” 

“I wish I was yours, Azzi,” Paige whispers softly, so softly that Azzi thinks she mishears. She scowls, but her heart flutters from the confession.

“I need you to tell me that when you’re completely sober. I can’t trust you when you’re drunk.” she sighs, looking at the blonde who has tears brimming in her eyes. However, she can’t shake the warm, fuzzy feeling in her heart from her words. She can’t describe the feelings, and the thought of treading into unexplored emotional territory makes her queasy. 

“I wish I was yours,” Paige urges, with genuine sincerity in her tone despite the alcohol.

“Paige–”

Before she could finish her sentence, Paige grabs her wrist and pulls the younger girl into her. The blonde drags her along a premeditated route, stumbling several times. Biting the nails on her free hand, Azzi’s mind swarms with endless possibilities of danger; they could be kidnapped by random Belarusians, the coaches could catch them while getting a midnight snack, or they could get lost and never see their families again. But Paige was Paige, guiding her to their destination. The warmth radiating from the other girl’s body hypnotized her. It felt safe. Too safe. 

Paige leads her through the maze of the city until they reach the edge of a river. Even under the late-night sky, airplanes weave between silhouettes of clouds; their green and red lights blink, bringing life to the sky. The city is calm and serene at this hour, with the occasional passer-byer that ignores the two girls. The solitude is disrupted by cars gliding across the bustling road across the river bank with horns that blare occasionally. Street lights hug the river bank; streaks of yellow and orange rippled back and forth on the water. The breeze is soft, like a baby’s blanket. It carries the occasional, faint scent of cigarette smoke which is unexpectedly comforting. 

The two sit in mutual silence, away from each other. They both avoided the topic of the prior conversation. Paige hums softly, her body warm from the alcohol. “I didn’t know they had fireworks this late at night.” Her speech is slurred, yet Azzi still laughs in response. The sound of her laugh is like a piece of music written by Beethoven to her; a sound that can be played over and over without getting old. 

“They’re not fireworks, they’re street lights reflecting off the water.” The blonde squints, squatting on the large cement block that she had been sitting on. As she cranes her head closer, nearly falling off the block, Azzi scrambles to catch the blonde as she reflexively yanks her waist backwards. They laugh before Paige puts her hand on hers. 

“You’re acting really sober,” Paige declares while studying Azzi’s facial features. 

“I am sober, so I think it’s a good thing that I’m acting sober.” The younger girl chuckles, punching her friend’s arm lightly with her free hand. Flustered, Paige averts her gaze to the shimmering undulations on the surface of the water. Unsure of whether it was the alcohol that was twisting her mind, or if it was the dim, golden lighting that lights up the left side of Azzi’s face, all she can think about is that her best friend is beautiful.  It drives Paige insane; her bronze skin gleams and her umber eyes light up and become a light, almost golden shade of brown. 

“Sometimes I wish that you could be in Minnesota with me all the time.” 

“Well, you could come to Virginia and stay with me…” Azzi proposes before smiling at Paige, but she doesn't meet her eyes. The blonde is scrunching her face with her attention on Azzi’s arms, and not her face. “What’s wrong? Paige?”

“You’re cold,” Paige whispers, shifting her weight so she and Azzi sit facing each other. Trailing her hand up the other girl’s arm, her fingertips dance along the mountain ranges of goosebumps on her tender skin. Paige’s warm touch makes her feel something. Their eyes clash, uncertainty swarming in both pairs. “I meant what I said earlier,” Paige glances at her lips, breaking the eye contact. “I wish I was yours.” Her hand reaches for Azzi’s cheek, cupping it lightly, and the brunette melts into her touch.

Panic rises as a lump in her throat. They’re young–too young. Azzi’s feelings are new and confusing. She doesn’t know what love feels like and it scares her. As a kid, she was told that “love” was when two people cared for each other a lot. It was obvious that they care for each other a lot. They talk for hours, each word flowing effortlessly while they howl in laughter about something that the other said. Every touch they share is electric: sparks fly erratically through every vein of their bodies. After every argument, Paige is the first to apologize because she knows that Azzi overthinks. 

She moves her face closer and drapes her hands on the blonde’s nape. Paige takes the bait.

Her slightly-parted lips meet Azzi’s warm and soft lips. She closes her eyes, pulling the younger girl’s face in before pulling away after several seconds. The kiss is short, but sweet. Azzi looks at her hands, not wanting to meet the blue eyes knowing that she made a mistake, and the kiss shouldn’t have happened. The once well-established boundaries of their friendship are permanently breached. Yet her cheeks flush and she misses the warmth provided by the close proximity of Paige’s body.

“Raise your arms,” Paige mutters shyly as Azzi is enveloped in the warmth of a thick hoodie. Paige’s hoodie. The scent of Paige’s rosy perfume encases her and a contented sigh escapes her lips. 

“Are you cold?” Azzi observed her best friend’s exposed arms. 

“Nah, I’m alright. You can keep that by the way,” she motions to the hoodie that hugged Azzi’s torso. “It can be a souvenir from Belarus from me. Something that can remind you of tonight forever.” The brunette smiles and wraps her arms around the blonde; she is the clay that Paige can shape into anything she wants. They just fit together. 

The girls dance through the city and totter unsteadily to the hotel, where they collapse in the comfort of Paige’s bed, satisfied laughs slipping out of their mouths after sneaking past the rooms of their teammates. 

“Would you like me to walk you back to your room, Madame Fudd?” Paige teases before a pillow slams into her face. “Hey! Azzi!” She shrieks, scrambling to grab another pillow before falling flat on her face. Azzi laughs hysterically for a few moments until the room stills into an unsettling quiet. 

“You’re so chivalrous, Bueckers.” Azzi looks around her room, fidgeting with her fingers. “But, uh, since there’s a few drunk bodies on my bed,” The blonde cocks her head at her and smirks; the simple motion makes her heart lurch. “And also because you also don’t have a roommate and I thought that you might be a little lonely tonight, especially because you’ll be hungover in the morning, I was wondering if I could stay here tonight.” Paige breaks out into an ear-to-ear grin and tackles her in a bear hug, shoving them to the bed where their bodies melded into each other. 

Amongst the clamor, there is an uneasy feeling in Paige’s gut that she can’t shake, but she chooses to ignore the feeling as she lets her body intertwine with the younger girl’s. 

October 19th, 2028

New York City, New York

Azzi is selfish. 

Anything she gets her hands on, she wants to keep for herself. She is a hoarder who wants to keep everything that she loves forever. 

Unfortunately, when you fall in love with everything, you can’t have it all.

She paces back and forth at the gate, biting her nails and avoiding the gaze of her fiancé. Tugging the collar of her hoodie from her high school days over her head, she allows a satisfied sigh to escape her mouth as she is cloaked with a comforting rose scent. It was nostalgic; it held so many memories that felt so important and so irrelevant at the same time. But the scent made her feel hopeful of something she couldn’t place. 

“Is everything okay, babe?” startled, she drops the hoodie to smile weakly at her fiancé.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just a little tired. The thought of everything scares me a little.” Azzi chuckles. Instead of a friendly smile from her fiancé, she notices his scowl at the text on her hoodie. Her heart drops into her stomach, knowing that this would prompt an argument from him over a certain college teammate. 

“I’m so happy you finally chose to leave the cesspool of New York,” her fiancé sneers, “and, I’m so excited to soak up the LA sun.” Azzi doesn’t react to his comments, avoiding an argument at all costs. He came to all her games and cheered her on, but he always hated New York City. It was either too cold or too hot, too rainy or too sunny and never the perfect balance between the two. 

As long as he’s happy, I am too. 

Los Angeles, California

Paige is protective. 

She loves her possessions and hates it when people take them. She wants to shield everything she loves from hurt and pain. 

Orange and pink rays of sunlight stream through the tall glass panes by Paige’s bedside, bathing her bedroom in a warm glow. She stirs awake, her sore body begging for 15 extra minutes of sleep. Her throat feels raw and her eyelids are weighted. Instead of fighting against the weight, Paige lets her eyes close while thinking about the consequences of not showing up to Azzi’s welcome party. When she first caught wind of the news, she called Cameron Brink to come to her apartment. She complained to her for hours while blackout drunk before inevitably passing out. When she woke up the next morning to dozens of angry texts from Cam, she apologized profusely, showing up to her apartment with the shoes that her friend had been eyeing for months and bags of Sour Patch Kids.

It was safe to say that Paige wasn’t allowed anywhere near alcohol tonight if she chose to go. At least, not under Cam’s watch. 

The Sparks had an extremely successful campaign last year and capped off the season with a championship title along with Paige’s first league MVP and finals MVP awards. The feeling is still surreal, and the thought of it pumps more adrenaline through her body. Even though the season was extremely successful, the threat of injuries plagued the guards last year. Also, the Sparks were in desperate need of a guard with the ability to knock down shots and step into the role of a strong playmaker.

Was she expecting Azzi to join the Sparks? Eventually, yes. She is desperate for a championship run. 

Did she want to celebrate a piece of her past she let go before her birthday? No. 

Is she happy about it? Absolutely not. 

Her phone began to vibrate violently under her pillow, prying her from her thoughts. She rolls over to scrutinize the contact name with a groan. Her blood runs cold and she taps the green phone icon on the 4th ring.

“Paige! Thank god I got in contact with you.” Katie Fudd exhales. Paige feels the weight of her panic that reciprocates her own through the phone. “I know we haven’t really talked in about, um, three years,” she pauses, unsure of how to continue when she hears Paige’s sharp inhale, “but, have you heard from Azzi recently? She’s supposed to be arriving in LA today, at least that’s what the media says.” 

“No, I…I haven’t heard anything, Katie,” she rasps, her throat ablaze. Her lips run dry. The media?

Paige makes small talk with Katie, catching up on major events in their life while both of them try to avoid the topic of Azzi. It was brought up once and Paige could barely perceive the muffled, yet pained sobs on the other end of the phone.

“I know you have your Unrivaled league coming up in the new year, but it would be great if you could come visit us during Thanksgiving or even Christmas,” Katie proposes as they near the end of their conversation. 

“I’ll take a look at my schedule and try to pull some strings, but no promises. I have plans to visit my dad and Drew over the Thanksgiving weekend in Maryland, so we’ll see what happens.” Paige replies, acknowledging the piece of her that wants to let the past go. The part where she was too close to Azzi and her family. She knows that visiting them means treading into foreign territory. 

“We miss you, Paige. Jon and Jose miss their ‘son’ too,” Katie laughs, relieving Paige of a heavy, bone-crushing weight on her heart. “Happy early birthday too, we could never forget. We love you, you’re still family to us.”

Paige smiles, a genuine ear-to-ear grin. “Love you too, Kaite. Tell the brothers and Tim I say hi as well.” She says before hanging up. 

“You’re still family to us.” The words rang in her head, warming her frozen heart. It wasn’t enough to thaw it, but it was enough to invoke thoughts of hope. She was torn from her reverie by a knock at her door. Humming to herself as she sauntered out of her bedroom, she opened the door to her apartment.

“Woah, I never thought I’d see you smiling like you’re on Disney Channel,” the blonde at the door laughs, surprised. Paige scowls at her words which prompts Cam to laugh harder. “I did bring breakfast though, knowing your current mental state. You look like shit, Paige.” She sets two paper bags on Paige’s kitchen island. They sit across each other on the spinning bar stools Cam loves. 

The two chat buoyantly; Cam tells her stories about her boyfriend, Ben, and his new obsession with cars or whatever. Paige doesn’t really pay attention to her rambling because of a painful ache in her heart. Even though it had been a year since Cam moved to Los Angeles, the two still learn new details about Over the past year, Cam used the fact that the shorter woman struggled to maintain a relationship for more than a few weeks as the butt of all her jokes. Despite being annoyed at first, Paige was quite amused with herself.

“Azzi’s mom called me earlier,” Paige abruptly says, interrupting Cam in her spiel about her brother’s recent breakup.

“...is that why you were smiling earlier? Paige, not even 5 days ago you made me-”

“From what I’ve…figured out, they haven’t been able to get in contact with Azzi. Katie seemed distraught when she accidentally brought her up.” 

“Are you implying that she got kidnapped?” Cam laughs uncomfortably, trying to avoid the weight of the situation. 

“It’s a possibility.” Paige mutters. Cam stops laughing and an uneasy silence drapes the room like a heavy curtain.

“I guess we’ll find out later, but don’t stress about it. You could be overthinking the entire situation. Don’t make that face, I know that you don’t want to go, but out of respect for your future teammate, you need to.” Cam sighs while rubbing circles on her temples. “I’m going to pick her and her supposed fiancé up at the airport. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Thanks for breakfast, Cam. Drive safe,” she calls out as the door to her apartment shuts. And suddenly, her mind is thrown back 5 years to the keychain that Azzi bought them in their early 20s as a gift. Drive safe, I need you here with me. I love you. 

***

“Azzi Fudd! This is Kendra Andrews with ESPN. What are your thoughts on the Sparks franchise?” 

“What prompted the move from New York to LA?” 

“How do you plan to integrate yourself into the team?” 

“What excites you the most about the LA Sparks franchise?”

Dozens of reporters and journalists surround her. They fight amongst each other to thrust microphones into her face. Sweat beads down the back of Azzi’s neck as she tries to answer as many questions as she can while being mindful of her fiancé’s limited patience. He had gone on his phone, ignoring Azzi as she drowns in a sea of cheap cologne and felt-tipped microphones. She quickly interrupts the reporters after 10 minutes and bid a polite farewell. Her heart stings with a bit of remorse when some of the reporters in the crowd express their frustration through whisper-shouts to their colleagues because they got a different answer than what they would’ve hoped. As she makes her way to her fiancé, her head hanging low, she mentally prepares herself for the incoming argument. 

“You’re a piece of shit,” her fiancé hisses, “you took ten fucking minutes to talk to some fans.”

“Please, not here. Not while the reporters are still around,” Azzi whispers, frantically scouting for reporters. 

“Save your bullshit for later. Call an Uber and get me out of here.” While leading her fiancé towards the airport exit, Azzi picks at her cuticles. “Oh, and next time,” her fiancé continues, “don’t be a pussy-sucking people pleaser and just give them an autograph. I don’t have the time for this, there are better things I should be doing that does not include waiting for you.” Tears begin to well but she blinks them back, trying to put up a facade for the public as she smiles half-heartedly for selfies. The lump in her throat threatens to roll out of her mouth. The thought of a night in the hotel sends a cold bead of sweat down her back. She doesn’t want to be left alone with her fiancé. She doesn’t trust him. 

A firm hand grabs Azzi’s wrist, pulling her back into the present. She rips her hand away reflexively before processing the familiar face that belonged to her temporary roommate in Belarus. For the first time since she left New York, Azzi breaks out in a full-faced smile and throws herself into Cam’s open arms.

Her mind wanders to the other future WNBA teammate, who she had not seen since the 2025 WNBA draft. The thought of her quickened her heart, but the feeling sours when she becomes aware of her fiancé by her side. 

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, oh my god,” Cam laughs, punching Azzi’s arm lightly, a gesture from her USA basketball days when Coach Berube made an off-handed comment. She flinches in response, which Cam chooses to ignore. “Oh, and you must be Azzi’s fiancé. I’ve heard so much about you, and it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Cam,” the blonde chirps, turning her attention to Azzi’s fiancé, offering a friendly smile and a hand. “I don’t think I ever got your name.” Her fiancé remains silent, but his jaw muscles tighten and his cold, green eyes look at her with animosity and spite. Not wanting to raise suspicion, Cam plasters a smile and leads them to her car.

Cam makes a mental note to tell Paige about their interaction with an emphasis on the flinch. 

“...This is the Uber you ordered?” her fiancé snarls when the other woman is out of earshot. 

“You need to calm down. She’s my teammate, and this is a thoughtful gesture,” Azzi retorts before covering her mouth. Her breathing becomes shallow and her face pales as her fiancé inches his face closer to her ear until his hot, rancid breath drowns out her awareness of everything around her. The hustling environment of the airport disappears and her world is engulfed in silence until four words snap her out of her trance. 

“Drop this shit, now.” 

***

The ride to the hotel where the two would be temporarily staying was brisk, although Azzi wished it would have lasted longer. The brunettes reminisced on their college days while laughing hysterically. 

“Have you talked to Geno after he finally retired?” Cam asks playfully, making eye contact with Azzi through the rear-view mirror. Instead of Azzi’s warm brown eyes, she meets her fiancé’s swampy green eyes. The blonde feels a chill run down her spine, unable to detect any emotion on the fiancé’s face. 

“Nope, not at all.” Cam raises her eyebrows, clearly amused. 

“Wow, it’s been two years since he retired. He even went to the draft to support you and, um, nevermind.” The blonde shakes her head, cursing to herself. Azzi laughs awkwardly, trying to lift the guilt off her friend’s shoulders, but her fiancé is unamused. “About time though, I thought that he nearly got a heart attack during the March Madness championship in 2025.” The two erupt in laughter, tears falling from their eyes. Her fiancé glares at Cam through the mirror, prompting her to awkwardly change the topic to the Sparks and their team culture. Azzi ignores the glare and continues her conversation with her friend. 

Her fiancé isn’t completely out of the loop despite his apathy towards Azzi’s WNBA career. He knows who Paige Bueckers is, the national championship they won in 2025, but he only vaguely knows about the relationship that she and Azzi shared during their collegiate campaigns. If their relationship was an iceberg, her fiancé only sees the tip of the iceberg, the visible part that the media shared, the two in a million SLAM cover, their rise to stardom in USA U16 basketball, and most importantly, their adversities through injury together. What she doesn’t know is the true depth and complexity of their relationship, veiled beneath a thick layer of dark, murky water that neither she nor Paige are ready to uncover. As their lives began to diverge, so did the currents in the water; they pushed and pushed on their relationship until it came crumbling down, splitting the iceberg into two parts that are now just Azzi and just Paige. 

Thanking Cam as they slip out of the car, Azzi checks into the hotel room where she and her fiancé sit on opposite sides of the king-sized bed. Her head hangs and she looks at her hands before her fiancé breaks the silence first.

“Hey,” he sighs, walking over to Azzi. When she lifts her head to meet her fiancé’s eyes, branches of tears stream from her eyes and down her cheeks, splitting into multitudes of different directions. 

“Am I not good enough for you? One moment you hate me, and the next you’re suddenly in love with me again.” Azzi sobs, pulling her hair in frustration. “I’m trying my hardest, and it hurts when you don’t reciprocate the feelings.” She wipes her eyes while her fiancé stares at her in disbelief, masking his anger. He paces to the door before walking back to Azzi, feigning an empathetic look. 

“No, baby, you’re perfect.” Her fiancé mutters , pulling the brunette’s head to his chest as he kisses her forehead softly while wiping her tears. “I love you so much. I appreciate everything you do.” Azzi could feel that his words felt wrong and uncomfortable coming out of his mouth. 

“Love you too”

***

Paige walks in circles around her room while Cam summarizes the airport pickup, sprawled out on the blonde’s bed. “You didn’t even get his name. Damn.” Paige’s voice is laced with worry. 

“All you need to know is that her fiancé is fucking weird. He was like ‘I’m so sick of this bullshit’ the whole time without speaking a single word. I introduced myself to him like a normal fucking person and he stood there and stared me down, as if I was competition or something.” Cam breathes, putting her face in her hands. Paige feels the same, unable to piece together the puzzling situation. “This whole situation is  crazy. I was talking about Geno’s retirement and she hasn’t talked to him in years. Isn’t that weird? I feel like he’s also the jealous type. She wore your Hopkins hoodie and her fiancé kept eyeing it the whole time.”

Paige’s heart skips a beat at her words. Her Hopkins hoodie. The one from the night in Belarus: even though it had been over 10 years, Paige remembers it clearly. It was the first time she was in love. “That’s weird. You picked them up from the airport, and he was glaring at you the entire time in the car. Then, you- like, jokingly punched her. How hard was this punch?”

“KK-punching-Ice-after-losing-a-bet-about-your-life hard.” 

“Okay, so not that hard.”

“I’m pretty sure I heard her fiancé call her a stuck-up pussy eater while they argued about the reporters before I picked them up.” Paige raises an eyebrow at the statement before coughing awkwardly, mumbling under her breath.

“Just– be careful Paige. She isn’t yours anymore. I know you’re still not over her,” She winces at her friend’s words, “and it’s the harsh truth, but I seriously think that you need to find someone else to distract you.” 

“We both know that finding someone else hasn’t worked for me either. I’m worried about her. She’s my best friend, my ride or die.”

“She betrayed you. You need to move on. Best friends don’t betray each other like… that.”

***

Flanked by her fiancé, Azzi walks through the large, wooden doors of the restaurant next to her hotel. It was a short walk, but she took in the salty smell of the city. The breeze was sharp and it nipped her exposed arms. She was shivering and rubbing her hands up and down her arms. 

“You must be Ms. Fudd,” the waitress waiting for her arrival smiles at her, “your table is over here, please follow me.”  The short walk through the labyrinth of tables set with velvety red cloths that had a golden trim on its edges was interrupted by a crimson-colored curtain. The chatter behind the curtains feels daunting, and she wants to turn around and run back to Arlington. The waitress pulls the curtain to the side to reveal a table full with people, her teammates, laughing and talking boisterously amongst themselves. The first person to stand up is Cam, who embraces her in a loose hug. Seconds later, nearly all of her new teammates have thrown themselves into her arms.

The last person to stand up is the blonde. Her wavy, blonde hair, lighter from the Californian sun, is tucked behind her ears and falls down her back like a loose shawl. Her skin glows gold against the yellow lighting of the dining room. She wears a freshly ironed button-up dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to expose her toned forearms. Only the right side of her shirt was tucked into her brown trousers that hang loosely from her hip, ghosting her ankles. A beige bomber jacket that matches her pants is slung around her shoulders and a watercolor-patterned scarf is draped around her neck. The gold studs and helix ring on her left ear reflect the light of the chandelier that hangs from chains above the dining table. When their eyes meet, Azzi searches her eyes for a sense of comfort in her familiar blue eyes that her dark mascara emphasizes. Instead, she finds nothing in her cold and emotionless eyes. Paige embraces her new teammate in a stiff and loose hug, her muscles tense when Azzi’s hands roam her back. Immediately, she is engulfed in her rosy perfume, the same scent that she finds solace and comfort in. Her stomach churns, yet there is a certain warmth that flickers in her heart. Everything about the blonde screamed Paige, and Paige is beautiful. 

“Welcome to LA,” she says while pulling out of the hug. Refusing to look at her, she turns to the man looming in the corner while offering a hand. At the table, Cam sucks a sharp breath in, casting a warning glance at Paige which is ignored. Azzi stiffens and her heart hammers. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Paige, and you are?”

“I’m Charles,” he murmurs, accepting the handshake and offering a small, sly smile. Azzi’s eyes widen. Her fiancé is rarely friendly, especially not to Paige. They glare at each other for a brief moment before she takes a seat next to Cam. 

Her fiancé and her sit side-by-side at the table, across from Paige and Cam. Charles slides his hand into Azzi’s under the table, squeezing it softly. The small gesture makes Azzi smile as she leans into her fiancé, enjoying his comforting presence. It isn’t much, but it’s enough to take her mind off of the blonde sitting directly across from her, laughing with her WNBA teammates. It annoys her.

Azzi is selfish. 

***

The entire table has some sort of alcoholic beverage in their hands or in their stomachs. Paige sits awkwardly, sipping a Shirley Temple whose sugary and overly sweet grenadine has become bitter on her tongue. Nausea seeps into the edges of her head and begins to spread like wildfire and she finds herself rubbing circles on her forehead. She can’t stand the sound of Azzi’s bubbly laughter across the table. The sound that threatened to burn a hole through her heart. 

“So, how did you guys meet?” Dijonai Carrington cocks an eyebrow at the couple while swirling her cocktail in her cup. 

A brief panicked look flashes across Azzi’s face before Charles cuts in. “We met in college.” His answer is curt and dry, yet polite. Several of her teammates cooed at his response, gushing over the couple. The two women jump into a conversation about their college lovers. 

That should’ve been me.

“What a fucking people pleaser.” Paige snickers to Cam while blinking back the unwelcome moisture that began to form under her eyes. She throws back the rest of her drink before dropping her head into her arms.

“Are you sure you don’t want any alcohol? Like, a thousand percent positive?” Dearica Hamby, the star forward of the Valkyries asks Paige while rubbing the taller woman’s back. Through the seemingly innocent image of the question, she notices genuine concern painted in the woman’s softened eyes.

“She’s alright without it,” Cam answers before she could open her mouth. “We made an agreement that she would have no alcohol tonight because I had to clean up after her last time.” The entire table howls in laughter, and Paige joins them with a half-hearted smile while heart fractures. 

If her smile didn’t split into a frown at the corners of her mouth or her chin didn’t wrinkle, Azzi’s heart wouldn’t have stopped and she would’ve been laughing with her teammates. 

“Yeah, I had to show up to her apartment with shoes and a shit load of candy because I felt so guilty.” She sneaks a glance at the brunette sitting across from her. Instead of laughing with the team, she was engaged in a conversation with her fiancé, prompting her to avert her gaze. It takes every piece of her dignity not to stare at the brunette. Her dark, curly hair is braided and hangs just above her shoulders; the same hairstyle that she jokingly called a bob back in their college days. She wears a baby blue knitted tank that reveals her muscular arms and white, flowy linen pants that hug her hips. 

However, when Paige’s eyes pass by the soon-to-be married couple, searching for something, they follow the pattern of their intertwined arms and hands hidden under the table. Looking at Cam, she whispers, “I need to get out of here.” the taller woman waves a hand at her, signaling for her to go ahead. She files through her wallet and grabs a few hundred-dollar bills and hands them to Cam, which she graciously accepts. Dearica flashes her a sympathetic look before returning to her drinking game. 

“I got a call from my mom and I gotta take it. I’ll be right back.” Announcing to the table, she grabs her phone and stands up, stepping over her drunk and overly rowdy teammates. When she finally slips behind the thick velvet curtain, she finally feels as if she can breathe. The curtain has become a barrier between her and a certain pair of brown eyes that burns holes through the back of her head. She knows that man. The blur of dark curls and olive and brown skin became too vivid. She needs to get out. It hurts her. 

Paige is protective. 

*** 

The neat blonde bun disappears behind the curtain with a soft, almost inaudible swoosh. She tries to talk with her teammates, laughing at their jokes, but everything feels forced. The image of Paige's stiff posture and the death grip she had on her phone haunts her. All of a sudden, her fiancé’s once soft hand feels heavy and scratchy against her skin.

“I need some air. I’ll be right back,” She announces as she gets up, dropping her fiancé’s hand. Cam and Dearica pause their argument over their stupid drinking game and stare at her with their mouths agape. There is undeniable panic swirling in both pairs of wide-open eyes, but Cam gives a hesitant nod.  

“Is everything alright babe?” Charles’s voice is soft but urgent. “I can come with you.” Azzi looks at him with a warm smile before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

As she exits the restaurant, she is met with an intricate spectacle of orange, pink, and blue. The light of the day quickly disappears, but she discerns a hunched silhouette on the beach that glows under the golden light. Her attention shifts to the orange circle that barely peeks out through the edge of the horizon as it slowly sinks underneath the water, leaving a trail of orange and pink light rippling across the surface of the water. Waves crash loudly against the shore before they are drawn back to the ocean while laughter and joyful screams from children join the peaceful ambience. 

“Are you just gonna stand there or do you wanna sit?” A tired voice rips her out of her thoughts as she tears her gaze from the astonishing scene in front of her. She glances at the woman sitting next to her who has her knees up to her chest and her head resting on her forearms. Azzi decides to sit a few feet away from her. For a split second, it feels like their fragmented friendship could be salvaged again. 

She slips her sandals off and lets her feet absorb the texture of the flaky sand while shivering when a gust of wind hits her skin. Instead of ignoring the mechanical sound of teeth chattering, Paige shakes the jacket off her shoulders and hands it to her which Azzi graciously accepts. When she wraps it around her shoulders, she is engulfed in the aroma of roses again. 

“I thought you had a call to take,” Azzi remarks, her voice soft. Veins snake down the woman’s arms and hands until they disappear behind her knuckles. Her pale skin had become golden and her biceps protrude from the rest of her arm. The neat braids in her hair are now ruffled and frizzy, and small wisps of hair dance with the breeze. On her wrist is a beaded bracelet that reads “RESILIENCE.” The bracelet from her camp before their explosive argument. The sight of it makes her heart flutter, but when she reaches her face, a cold wave of dread washes over her as she notices the smeared mascara and faint patches of salty skin on her cheeks. 

“Yeah, I did.” Paige answers bluntly, her voice cracking slightly. An uncomfortable silence falls upon them; the air heavy from their unspoken words. Azzi’s heart throbs at her cold tone. “What brings you out here?” she asks after a few moments. 

“I felt nauseous.” Paige scoffs at her response, shaking her head. 

“Bullshit.” 

“Paige, why are you so fucking blunt?” Azzi exasperates, throwing her hands up in the air in surrender. “You hugged me earlier and that whole time, you were stiff as a rock. It’s been 3 fucking years, it’s time to grow the fuck up.” When Paige says nothing in response, Azzi continues. “I’m trying to be the bigger person here and you’re being unfair. I told you that we can stay friends and then you fucking gho-”

“Your fiancé,” the blonde sneers, tearing Azzi out of her rant. Her voice is shaky and dangerously close to breaking. Through the golden light, she can see the tears brimming behind her smudged eyelashes. “He’s the one that you met at Ted’s, right?” Azzi stays silent, giving Paige the confirmation she needed. “You’re not being the bigger person, not at all. You’re only talking to me because you want something out of me. Azzi, you’re being selfish.”  The last word hits Azzi like a cold bucket of water. 

“You’re being unfair,” Azzi says shakily, refusing to meet the blonde’s eyes. 

Paige lets out a strangled sputter before opening her mouth. “I’m being unfair? Me being mad over you getting cozy with another man after our natty suddenly means that I’m being unfair?” 

“No, that’s not what I meant. You’re being unfair because you’re hurting him with your comments. Do you think I can’t hear the derogatory names you’ve called him tonight?” Azzi scrunches her face and turns to the blonde, whose attention is on the sand that snakes between her toes. 

“Are you happy?” the older woman finally asks after a period of silence.

“I don’t know.”

“What?” Her blue eyes dart towards hers. 

“P.” Paige freezes at the use of her nickname, “I miss you. My offer still stands. We can go back to our friendship.” The last words are quiet, almost as if they aren’t supposed to be spoken. Memories of what they were rush through both of their minds. The women have something unreadable in both of their eyes as they stare at each other. 

“No, we.. we can’t.” Paige finally speaks, tearing her gaze away from her, letting out a shaky breath and gets up to leave, but before she can take a step forward, she feels a forceful hand clasp around her wrist that prompts a wave of panic to flood through her. “Azzi, let me go. You can’t do this. You’re getting married soon for god’s sake.”  

“Our last night in Belarus, I know you remember it. You wear the same perfume, you even gave me your hoodie. Shit, Paige, that was the time I knew that I fell in love with you. Every little thing you did for me felt like you were giving me your entire world. You fell in love with me too. Every argument we had, we made up, and we can make up from this too. I’m asking you to believe in us again. I won’t leave you.” For a split second, Paige’s eyes soften and she lets her walls down. She desperately wants to let go of her "tough guy" facade and let herself taste Azzi's lips again.

“No. You don’t get to say that now. Not when you have a fiancé waiting for you in the restaurant.” The vulnerability that Paige showed is once again blocked by the ramparts of her castle. The remembrance of Charles’s presence hits Azzi like an 18-wheeler. “It’s evident that you can’t own up to any of the mistakes that you made.” 

“You’re not taking any accountability for it either! Do you think I haven’t tried?” Paige flinches, backing away from Azzi who is now screaming. “You had to address it at the fucking draft. For fuck’s sake, let me explain my side of the story.” 

“I tried to give you space because clearly, you wanted to fuck around with him. You don’t get to explain your side of the story. It was the night of the March Madness championship and you ch-”

“Oh, shit.” A new voice joins their argument. Paige whips her head around and sees Dearica and Cameron looking at them with wide eyes. “Azzi, I don’t think you should-” 

“No it’s okay,” Paige feigns a smile before pulling out of Azzi’s grip. “Welcome to the City of Dreams, Azzi. I’m sorry for having to leave so abruptly.” 

And she’s gone. Packed away in the backseat of an Uber. It hurts Azzi more than it should. The doors to Paige’s heart that used to be held open for Azzi are now barricaded off, isolating her. 

“What the fuck happened?” The blonde turns to Azzi with an edge of hostility in her tone. Dearica glares at her, and Azzi’s heart free-falls into her stomach. 

“Azzi?!” Charles’s deep voice calls out, and Azzi is grateful to be saved from the awkward confrontation. When his eyes land on her, they soften and he wraps her into a tight embrace. Every piece of contact between them feels scratchy and uncomfortable, especially in Paige’s jacket. “Don’t fucking leave me again.” He snarls into her ear before glaring at her jacket. 

The other women turn to leave before exchanging an uncomfortable look with each other. 

***

An empty bottle of tequila is the only company Paige has on her bar table. Right as she lets the effects of the alcohol take her consciousness, her front door flies open. Every muscle in her body tenses and she buries her head into her arms in hopes that she will disappear. 

“P?” It’s Cam. Her body relaxes. 

A second pair of heavy footsteps make their way to the table. She stiffens again.

“It’s me, don’t worry. You’re alright” The other voice belongs to Dearica. She exhales and looks up. Cam’s eyes are fixed on the empty bottle of tequila and a heavy breath falls out of her mouth. 

“Again? Seriously, Paige?” When Paige puts her head back down into her arms, Cam’s hands rub her back. 

“Yeah. Again.” Sobs begin to wreck the blonde’s body and she shakes violently. Dearica and Cam exchange a panicked look before embracing their teammate. 

“I’m sorry, Paige. What she did is fucked up” Dearica’s voice is soft and reassuring. “We tried to talk to her but, her, um, we were interrupted.” She and Cam are walking on thin ice; one bad step and their teammate will plunge in the freezing cold water.

“Let’s get you to bed. You have a big day tomorrow, so let’s make the most out of it.” Cam and Dearica carry their teammate, whose body is shaking violently while sobbing to bed.

For the 5th night in a row, she cries herself to sleep. 

I need you.

***

“Charles, why do you want to marry me?”

“Because I love you baby, and I want to spend every second of my life with you. With us.”

“...Okay.”

“I promise I’ll never hurt you. I’ll be the one to protect you forever.” 

“Azzi Fudd. What the fuck was that?” Charles sneers. His emerald eyes are alive, burning with acrimony. She doesn’t look up from her phone screen where her fingers shakily hover over the call button under Paige’s name. 

“I’m sorry? I told you I was getting some air and I ran into Paige.” Her tone is surprisingly even and steady despite her trembling body. When a dark look falls across his face, she shudders. Suddenly, her phone is ripped from her hands and shattered against the wall with a loud smash that rings in her ears.

“Don’t fucking talk back to me. You saw what happened to your phone, and I know that you don’t want to be next.” He slams the door of their hotel room and stomps down the hall. When she doesn't hear the obnoxiously loud footsteps anymore, she allows her body to collapse and cries into her pillow while she thinks about the promises that they made on their engagement night.

I need you.

[itwasthereaminuteago]

|| A Good Read ||

Frank Castle x female reader

Happy birthday @anna-hawk ! I had a little draft sitting for ages and the fact it was your b-day today inspired me to finish it. 😊

Frank is reading, his gaze fixed intently on the text of his current book as his fingertips idly draw little circles and patterns over the bare skin of your upper thigh.

You were tucked up with him on the couch in his lap, warm and cosy in your cosy baggy hoodie, low cut vest, sleep shorts and thick, soft socks that came up past your knees. This was no doubt one of your favourite places to be, snuggling in to the solid and real heat of Frank on a lazy Sunday. You're more than happy just sitting here and enjoying the view.

Watching his hands as he turns to the next page, your focus is swiftly drawn to the prominent veins and tendons that stick out on the back of his hand and along his forearm when he moves. You're entranced every time his fingers flex, your mind very quickly going to the thought of just how easily they could take you apart.

Your head tips sideways against Frank's chest as you study his face, the way his warm brown eyes are flitting back and forth as he's engrossed in the book, your attention moving from his gorgeous nose down to watch a small muscle tic in his strong jaw, the undulating of his Adam's apple as he swallows, and the tip of his tongue peaking out to wet his lips as he turns another page. His other hand is still slowly stroking your bare skin, an entirely innocent show of affection that has been gradually flaring up your desire to a white hot flame that might need dousing before you explode.

“You alright, sweetheart?” Frank seemingly picks up on your increased distractedness, although he's still reading.

You don't trust yourself to make coherent words, instead just giving him a small positive sounding hum in response. He plants a small kiss on the top of your head and you melt just a little bit more.

“You gettin' bored, wanna do something else?”

You shake your head, relaxing against his body as he settles back on the couch again and curls his free arm loosely around your waist. You murmur your assent as he starts to gently rub and stroke over your stomach asking if you're okay with it. Of course you're okay, you're in your man’s arms and he's loving on you so much and so good that you want to burst with glee. You're already so het up about it, but soon, his trailing fingers expand their seemingly aimless path, edging up closer to the underside of your breasts with each slow pass.

The corner of Frank's mouth hooks up as he hears your tiny moan as he moves his hand higher and cups your breast softly, stroking his thumb across your nipple through the fabric of your vest.

“This okay baby?”

Dampness quickly grows between your thighs, your nipples stiffen, heat rapidly rising to your cheeks at the attention.

“Y-yeah..” you squeak, your breathing turning more shallow as his huge, big hand lovingly fondles you.

He gently gives your knee a tap and you let your legs fall open, becoming boneless as he runs his large hand down to your lower belly and beyond, at first just lightly stroking over the soft fabric of your shorts before he can't resist pushing underneath the waistband.

You close your eyes, submitting your body to whatever Frank wants to do to it. He's in control right now.

As his fingers slip between your folds, a halted gasp escapes your throat. You're so wet that his fingers glide so easily over your sensitive pussy.

“God damn baby, how long you been feeling like this?”

“Mm, little while.”

“Shoulda told me.” He puts the book down on the side table.

“You were reading, didn't want to disturb you.”

Frank scrunches up his nose. “Doesn't matter sweet thing, you ain't disturbing me if you need somethin’”.

He keeps his touch light and so slow that you want to scream but you know he knows what he's doing, reading your body just like he has all those times before, sometimes knowing what you need better than yourself.

He circles the pad of his finger so delicately, so achingly slowly over and around your clit, drawing a thin breath near your ear as he feels just how engorged it is, knowing how little it will take to have you flying over the edge.

Gooey pulses of electric pleasure flow steadily through your body like a heartbeat as he keeps on. Your legs twitching and your breath stuttering out when Frank soothingly kisses you on the shoulder.

“You're wound right up, ain't ya?”

You nod slowly, then letting your head fall back against him as he languidly moves his slick fingers over you.

“This alright sweetheart, nice and slow?”

Your answering moans are long and wavering as he keeps you teetering on the very edge with teasing fingers, your legs still shaking as he moves his other hand down, slipping into your shorts to your aching entrance.

“Yeah?” He asks again, paying full attention to your reactions as he so very slowly starts to push two of his thick fingers inside you. “Just like that, pretty girl?”

You close your eyes, body arching into his touch, moaning softly as he takes his sweet time with you, pumping in and out, unhurriedly building the tension up inside you.

He kisses the side of your neck, still keeping the syrupy slow pace. It's the kind of feeling where you don't know if you can possibly bear if he were to stop or keep on going, it's too much and not enough.

“Fr-raank..” you whine out pathetically.

“Hey, shh-shh-shh,” Frank soothes, and it's then you realise there are tears ready to spill from your waterline. “it's alright, I got you baby, I got you.”

Your hips rise to meet the gentle but deep thrusts of his fingers, moving so easily now from your slick arousal that coats them, curling and rubbing towards the front of your inner walls beckoning louder and higher moans from you. Frank keeps you held firm, tight and safe in his warm embrace, the fingers of his other hand flicking just that little bit faster over your throbbing nub and making you squirm and cry out in pure pleasure as his relentless but loving touch sends you tumbling over into utter bliss.

“There you go,” his deep croon is the only sound in your fuzzy hearing, you're only barely aware of his lips kissing the side of your neck, writhing while he talks you through your intense quaking orgasm.

“Beautiful, you're so goddamn beautiful… c'mon sweetheart let it all go, that's it, attagirl, so good f’me…”

You're melting over him, content to let your body and soul surrender completely to the euphoric feeling he's giving you.

Your body's movements eventually slow to a tremble as the last syrupy aftershocks ripple through you, Frank forever paying attention to when you've had enough and need him to slow down and stop, gently releasing you to recover in his arms.

As you slowly come back to reality and look up, Frank's dark blown pupils are gazing intently back down at you.

“You okay sweetheart?”

“Frank, that was…”

His brows crease a little as you're completely at a loss for the words you need, instead, silently and slowly rising to your feet, reaching down for the waistband of his grey sweats and tugging at them until he gets the gist and lifts his hips, letting you pull them down and see how turned on he is. The very sight of his thick cock curving up towards his stomach has you feeling empty again, clenching around nothing. You need him, want to make him feel as good as he makes you feel.

He watches, slightly stunned as you push down your shorts, kicking them off as you climb back onto the couch and onto Frank, your knees on either side of his hips as you take him in hand and tilt your pelvis forward, the thick head of his cock right where you need it as Frank's hands come around your waist, ready to support you.

The sensation as you sink down on him, coupled with the unrestrained moan that breaks from his throat is everything you ever needed. He lets you take charge, set the pace you want as his hands smooth up and down your back, watching you rise and fall on him with a look of total awe and adoration. Your own arms drape over his shoulders and around his neck as you fuck him slow, grinding your hips in a circular motion before you lift up until it's only the very tip left inside you, the act making him groan and then curse as you drop down again taking him so deep.

“Feels so good baby,” you praise, your fingers ruffling up through the hair on the back of his head and tugging at the roots just a bit. That makes his hips jump, thrusting up reflexively and he's quick to apologize for it.

“Fuck I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean- hnngh!”

You cut him off as you rock down on him, tugging at his hair again, his unbridled reaction too addictive for you to stop.

“Shhh… s'okay.” you whisper back at him, sealing your mouth over his kissing him deep.

His hands are all over your body as you ride him faster, moaning into your mouth, his fingers indenting into the meat of your thighs and ass, lips and teeth sucking and scraping over the skin of your chest in worship.

“Wanna feel you, Frank..” you hush against his ear, upping your pace and watching how hard he's trying not to fall apart. But that's exactly what you want. Seeing Frank so unguarded in the throes of passion, especially when you were the one in control, had to be one of the hottest things you had ever witnessed.

“Fuck, baby,” Frank husks through gritted teeth, “ain’t gonna last-”

So you fuck him harder. You don't want him to.

“Come for me. C'mon Frankie, fill me up, make me feel it.”

It only takes another couple of thrusts until he reaches his peak with an almighty roar, feeling his dick twitching as he spills deep inside you. You keep on rocking your hips, steadily slowing as he pants for breath beneath you. You can't resist calling him a good boy, and the way he gets that cute bashful smile on his face and can barely meet your eyes fills your right heart up.

You stay draped over him for a short while, both your breath syncing to slow, deep draws as you nuzzle into the crook of his neck, his hands gently stroking down your spine.

A perfect way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

[buf309]

Maaaannnn... I'm so, so, so tired with AI bullshit 😩

I had a bad migraine from the heat, and now this. WARNING: long whining about real life stuff down below, but I need to vent before I explode in their face. Feel free to ignore this cranky old me 🙇‍♂️

A client threw the draft I drew for them into the bullshit machine and asked it to generate a feedback for them. Can you believe it???? Generating a feedback on a drawing they commissioned me to draw for them????

Just a simple " yes I like that" or "no I don't like this, fix it more like this" would be enough. But nooooooooo...

THEY. ASKED. THE MACHINE. TO GENERATE. FEEDBACK. ON THEIR BEHALF.

What the actual fuck is that???????? You are going to outsource your own preferences to the robots too?????? Excuse me????? Then what is the purpose of your brain anymore????? Decoration?????

Why I know that they used the bullshit machine, you ask? Maybe they just, like, blab a lot?

Well, because the feedback they sent me was 2-page long, in bullet points, and UTTERLY NONSENSE about the things I DIDN'T DRAW!!!!

The worst client in the past, who tried to rip me off, at least used their brain to nitpick what I did in the drawing, and at least, those nitpicks somewhat made sense. Not this one. In the whole 2 A4 pages, I can only see ONE logical change, ONE other point seems legit but will clash with the style they want in the first place (like a realistic face on a chibi body), and the rest is 100% unusable.

For example: They told me I shouldn't draw in a flat side or front view to adds depth and makes the scene more dynamic. BUT, o' mighty client, I drew that thing in the 3/4 angle??? like you asked me to do from the start????? They told me to avoid an open mouth or smile, that I should draw a subtle closed frown reinforces a serious, concentrated attitude. BUT, again, the mouth was a flat line already??? What in binary fucking realm are you talking about???? Have you ever seen the drawing with your own two eyes even once????

And last but not least, they threw my drawing into the AI gibberish pot??????? just for this slimy goo vomit they called a feedback????

To be honest, it would be less of an insult if they simply told me to my face that my drawing suckass and they hate it.

[flashbang-througthe-door]

Tw: Mention of wartime violence, Mental health issues, Mention of Eating Disorder{Shortened to ED}, Mention of death, accidental self injury{Scrubs himself too hard in the shower)

A/n: scattered brain

------------------------------------------

Name: Russell Atticus Adler {Big Au}

Age: 47

Job: CIA Agent

Married to James "Crash" Grant

Father to Felix Neumann

Father to Tommy & Joey {Written by friends that don't have accs}

------------------------------------------

Background: Adler grew up in very unstable living conditions never knowing his dad and floating around town to town in a circus with his mother. He was always a smart and quick witted child that he wasn't put into school due to the constant moving and his mother would read him stories every night....Adler lost his Mother at the start of The US' involvement with the Vietnam War causing him to take her point of view on it until he was drafted and thrown into the war where he'd meet Crash then simply known as James.

Adler and Crash would become great friends as they both had the same view of a lot of stuff including the war...sometime during a firefight Adler would catch shrapnel to the face causing him to earn the purple heart, a big scar on the right side of his face and lips, and to be discharge and sent back to the US. Losing contact with Crash was very difficult for Adler but due to his fantastic work in the war the CIA came knocking.

Sometime during his first couple years in the CIA he'd really struggled with an ED and his PTSD from the war so he took a step back and started therapy or tried to, he would be diagnosed with a Mild ED, PTSD, Seasonal Depression and OCD. The OCD and PTSD were very easy for Adler to see he can recount times where he'd scrub skin raw in the shower because he wasn't clean enough or would clean the same thing several times, he also has to tap the car door before getting in and turn the key serval time before starting it.

The Depression was a bit harder but he noticed it came a lot during Christmas when his mother had passed and he found better coping mechanisms to deal with it. The ED he thought the doctor was just joking, he hadn't really ever been a beefy strong guy always on the more skinny side. He is currently in recovery from his ED but he has a list of food that he'd like to try again but is too nervous to try.

When he returned to the CIA there was a new agent who had completed a lot of missions under the codename Crash. Finding it was James almost made the poor guy explode in Weaver's office, it was kinda like a movie them being to pick up exactly where they had left off and even getting married 5 years later.

[fabdante]

Headcanon that Vergil helped Kat burn down her old home, for the catharsis of it all. (And maybe as a way for Kat to fake her death? If she decided she needed to.)

Just. Vergil holding up a can of gasoline, "Committing arson all by yourself, Kat?"

Kat still has the lighter they used. It's dented, and has got tiny Red Orbs embedded in it- crystallized demon blood, from Kat's foster father. Vergil and Kat also painted on the lighter a bit, just to really personalize it. She keeps it full, just in case.

Not sure how well this fits with the two of them, so y'know. *floats it over to you*

I really love the idea of them burning down the house, that is very fun!

One of the first scenes I had to sort through with Swan Songs drafts was the whole foster father situation with Kat and I remember the early drafts being very convoluted to a point where now I've been trying to like...simplify the whole thing.

One of the bigger issues is, of course, how do we cover up the murder of this guy and make sure no ones looking for Kat. Like i figured his body would take care of itself (in the silly way where dmc demons always kinda just explode and vanish and what not). But like there's still like...the rest of the crime scene. And while arson might be a tad dramatic and might bring more issues for them it is fun and cathartic. I would very much like Kat to burn down the house.

I think perhaps to a return to the house to burn it down might be nice?

Like after killing her foster father like the house is going to be abandoned and it's not like anyone can sell it with the owner like gone and Kat would certainly want nothing to do with it, it's not even in her name. I'm sure after a while the house would default back to the bank and what not but, still, that's even if there's mortgage payments involved.

Returning to the house, seeing it in like this state of abandonment, and getting to sort of take out some of her trauma on the house I think might be very cathartic for Kat. She often in Swan Song refers to it as a tomb, and refers to herself as rotting there, so I think burning it down now that it's been a little bit and less people are wondering where that guy and his kid went, would be cathartic for her.

And Vergil, I imagine, is probably there with her. He'll help make sure the tracks are covered and everything. No matter how you view him and his goals with Kat, at the very least having her working through her trauma even in ways like this is better for the plan is it not?

[lairofdragonagelore]

Speculations about the Vinyl Art

Recently, we had some bits of art that heated up the speculations about the Black City. I write here a detailed set of observations, interpretations and lore speculations. 

Most of the images were taken from the source posts of @felassan​ [here, here, here and here] and andarateia, and I copy-pasted a lot from my draft here. Of course, many of these interpretations are shared with the original authors too since it’s obvious and natural to do these interpretations [specially if one tries to work under the principle of the Occam’s razor]. In others, I may differ, of course.

The vinyls

They are named “Golden City Merge” [blue-teal one] and “Black City Splatter” [Yellowish one].

Golden City Merge

It has a blue-teal colour around a yellow centre that may be golden.

One of these colours coincides with the codex Vir Dirthara: Homecoming, which claims that a “city home” is made of blue glass with spiralling up towers, so only through this detail in colour, and the shape of the city we see in the cover of the vinyl, we can assume that Elvhenan “homes/cities” may have been of this style too. Here, it’s all the lore we can link to these colours.

The only piece of [unreliable] lore we have to blandly link the Golden City with Arlathan is Tyrdda Bright-Axe Path. In it, the man who wanted Trydda’s hand in marriage wanted to lead an army to the North, in order to reach the Golden City.  From an Alamarri’s point of view, Arlathan was also in the north, crossing the Boeric Ocean [if we assume, too, that Arlathan was inside the Forest of Arlathan, which is a reasonable speculation given the peculiarities of the place, read The Missing for more details]. This information had been shared to him via dreams by a demon. It is a bland piece of lore because this is a tale that was transmitted through generations, orally, and we know how sensitive to change and modification this process is.

If we keep all these bland speculations, we can play with the idea of assuming that the Golden City may have been Arlathan. If Arlathan was surrounded by Arlathan Forest, the tree theme in the art of the vinyl would add more consistency to this speculation.

Black City Splatter

It has a black splatter over a worn-out, pale yellow colour. It may be considered a “sick” yellow even.

What we speculated from Corypheus’ design is that, due to the way his face was deformed and pieces of metal [or maybe red lyrium] were incrusted in him, it always looked like “something hot exploded” on his left side face [which, coincidental, it was the side which eye was, apparently, blind in his taror card, however, the unmatched eyes is completely inconsistent along art and games]. I talked about this long ago in the end of the post DLC: Legacy and in DA2:  Eyes. My point in bringing this desing detail is to say that, when the Magister stepped into the Black City, something “exploded” and melted them, and no matter the Andrastian Myth, we can see it clearly in the design of Corypheus and The Architect. That this vinyl has this colour design and name reinforces the idea that the Magisters unbalanced something when they entered, and it exploded, catching them in the explosion.

The Architect also has a design in his face that tells us that he was melted, and some things were incrusted in his body [I was always curious how a “dragon horn” seems to protrude from his neck]

Although they are focused on the Andrastian Myth, the Tevinter Mosaics seem to reinforce the idea that, when the Magister entered the Black City, they were burnt as well [again, the Myth claims it was the Maker, I suspect the truth is different, but the repetition of melting design in the only two Sidereal Magisters we saw can’t be overlooked].

As a speculation we can assume that the Black City was containing and working properly in the way that Solas had left it when he sealed the Evanuris, until the Sidereal Magisters entered and caused a “burning explosion”. It’s not clear if they caused it with their entering to the City, or  touched something that caused it.

the middle of the vinyls show the map of Fade we had in DAO

Curious thing, an extraction of this map from the DAO game files, shows that it was surrounded by thorny vines, or something that inspires the idea of thorny vines. And it covers a ring made out of mosaics, very similar to the style of the Golden Ring.

It is also interesting that each of the apexis in the vinyl shows a circle that, according to what my eye can distinguish in that small image, may represent another Golden Ring. These golden rings have been appearing all over the game, specially in DAI.

The back of the vinyl shows an eluvian floating on an isle, and two Elven Tree Statue. There is a series of detail we can notice here:

The eluvian is shattered. This gives us the idea that the system protecting the Black City, according to what we have concluded along the posts Murals in DAI: Basics and “The Creation of the Veil”, was broken and whatever kept inside is now free. 

Behind it, we see the shape of 6 more eluvians, in a pattern that looks like a flower. The flower may be a mere aesthetic for the vinyl, or could be a representation of the Elvhenan [since the elvhenan banner has a lot of flowers in it, check Elven Ruins to see it], or it may be related to the last bloom of a flower related to the codex “A Flowering Imago” [explanation attempted in the post Ancient Elven codices; Vir Dirthara]

The Chant of Light, if it’s to be trusted with some grains of elvhenan knowledge that was leaked into its text, claims that the Black City has seven gates that, one shattered, will allow the pass of Darkness [Read exaltations in Chant of Light - Part 2]. Darkness has always been associated with the Blight, so I think this piece of info may have been part of elvhenan knowledge that made it into the religious text in ways I explained in “The Chantry and the Mythology of the Chant of Light“. If the Eluvians are gates to the Black City, the seven ones are represented in this vinyl illustration.

The Elven Tree Statues have been seen in many opportunities along the DAI game, and its symbolism is not clear. In the Shattered Library it appears as a source of Fade power, crackling with green energy until the Inquisitor approaches and absorbs it. In the Elven Mountain Ruins, appears as central along the corridor of the Forgotten Sanctuary, and as the main symbol of the Smoking Tower. In Ancient Elven codices; Fen’Harel’s mountain ruins I made a deep analysis of potential relationships of this tree with a source of power to create “in-between” spaces, as well as related to lyrium, the power of the Titans, a Titan’s heart, or Fade itself. It also appears as central in the puzzle of the Dead Hand, where energy is gathered in it, while being surrounded by Golden Rings.

What seems to have in common in all these analysis is that these trees are related to power, and potentially a power to create worlds that may be associated with Titans. Maybe they represent the power that Mythal found when she killed the Titan, according the mural “The Death of a Titan”, and this was the reason why the Evanuris killed her in order to acquire this power. What’s curious is that in this illustration of the vinyl, we see, for the first time, their roots. Which are quite similar to the design of the Mythal’s Vallaslin. 

What is this eluvian representing for the Golden/Black City?

The shape of the eluvian is not something to read too much in my opinion. We find these frames in many elvhenan buildings, with other gods too. Even with Andruil in the Shattered Library; Inverted Ward. I think that we have to read it simply as “Elvhenan style for frames” which is deeply related to the shape of door and window frames too, which also carries similar function in the Eluvians: they are “doors” or “windows” to other places in between. I think it’s the typical elvhenan style for frames in general [details in Patterns and Styles: Elvhenan]. There are tons of these tri-style eluvians without flanked beasts spread all over the Elven Ruins. The Crossroads or The Crossroad [Base Game] also show a lot of these eluvians, sometimes flanked by statues, sometimes don’t. A quintuple-style shape is also the shape of the big gates into the Temple of Mythal [check  Temple of Mythal, What pride had Wrought: Part 1]. The idea of this shape is that it’s an eluvian with smaller and broader eluvians at the side, overlapped behind, so the final outline looks like it.

The Eluvians are related to the Elvhenan, but also to the Titans in a design point of view: they glow in a similar way as lyrium does or have a similar colour to it. In DAO, we lost Tamlen because an Eluvian was infected by the Blight [and we can justify DAO eluvian as corrupted ones since all of them were non-working or blighted]. So far we know, objects can’t be infected by the Blight, only living things, hence the idea that Eluvian are made of “something alive”. It’s not clear how alive it has to be, since we also know a creepy set of objects that exude “life” in a weird way: The Taken Shape set.

The Eluvians we found in DAO were “Tevinter Eluvians”. It’s not clear if the Tevinter took elvhenan eluvians and modified them to make them work like “communication devices” [as Finn and Dorian explain], or they developed the technology itself. That would also explain why these Eluvians are mostly purple instead of blue [and decorated with human statues that tend to be associated with Tevinter, details in Merril’s Eluvian]. Unaltered elvhenan eluvians have been shown to glow in silvery blue [all of them present in DAI].

Red Lyrium is the product of lyrium being infected with Blight because lyrium is “alive”. So far, this info is what Bianca told us, who at the same time, was told from an unknown source, according to what she speaks about with the Tranquil Researcher in the Emprise du Lion [last part of the post Emprise du Lion: Suledin keep ]. Since we know that Lyrium is Titan’s blood, it makes sense for it to be able to be infected with Blight because Titans are living yet vegetative creatures. On the other hand, there is enough hints to suspect Titans are immune to the Blight, so the lore seems a bit inconsistent on that. More details about this in posts such as Songs and elements that sing and whisper in DA Lore and  “The Death of a Titan”.

We also know that the Elvhenan exploited Titan’s bodies in unknown ways, according to all the info we can obtain in the mural from Trespasser: “The Death of a Titan”. Maybe they created Eluvians after they discovered the powers of Titan’s blood. This is a mere speculation about why the eluvian look like made out of lyrium.

Eluvians, then, allowed Elvhenan to do something that, so far, we were told since DAO that magic could not do, according to The Cardinal Rules of Magic:  “No one has found any means of travelling—either over great distances or small ones—beyond putting one foot in front of the other.“

There is also a potential interpretation that some Eluvian, somehow, are Gates to the Black City, implied in the mural “The Creation of the Veil”. This information may have survived the ages while being altered into what the Chant of Light claims in Exaltations [Chant of Light - Part 2] as “the Black City has seven Gates”, which is the same amount of “weird bubbles” we see in the mural. It was never clear what’s the reason for having 7 gates to a city you want to seal completely. I have no speculation why Solas could not sealed them completely, and, as it seems, put dragons in them to keep them closed instead.

Eluvians have been used in different ways, as portals to access tombs where elves were slumbering or in Uthenera, but also as “doors to cells”. We have two examples of this: Merril’s eluvian, which, according to Marethari, was a means to keep its Pride demon trapped [details in Merril and the Eluvian ] or as the door to a place inside a pocket dimension called “The ancient Jail” that seems to be a place where slaves or maybe dwarves were taken prisoner by Elvhenan [details in The Crossroads [DLC Trespasser]: Ancient Jail] which entrance has an unmistakable statue of Mythal in Dragon Shape. and inside of it, there are many broken eluvians.

The shattering Eluvian surrounded by two Elven Tree Statue is a similar image to the loadscreen related to Merril that I analysed in the post Merril’s Eluvian, which shows a symbol on the background that I’ve related to Flemeth/Mythal and potentially to Andraste too. Since Merril’s eluvian is related to a prison, maybe in the vinyls we are talking about the same: The Golden/Black city had become a prison for the Evanuris. We know this because Solas himself told us in Elven Ruins that he had banished them.

Therefore, a shattered eluvian seems to represent the destruction of a prison, in the same fashion it represented the escape of the Pride Demon in Merril’s quest [see that in the loadscreen gif above]

What the vinyl is telling me with the Shattered Eluvian and seven of them forming a flower, is that we are going to see the release of the Evanuris from their magical prison.

What have to do those trees in the illustration? It could represent the forest of Arlathan where Solas sealed the Evanuris in the city deep inside it. Another option is, that somehow, this prison is sustained/supported by Mythal, or was motivated by Mythal [probably with her death], since these trees seem to represent power, Titans, and Mythal at the same time. Trees are also related to the vhenadahl, which seem to hide a darker meaning that has nothing to do with what the Dalish or city elves believe about [more details in the section vhenadahl in the post “Red Lyrium Idol”].

Mythal as a motivator: If we take Solas’ words in the Elven Ruins, he sealed the Evanuris because they killed Mythal, but we also know in the Dev’s note from the mural “The Death of a Titan” that he really wanted to hide everything they were doing to no tempt anyone else to use this power.

Mythal as the last Guardian: We also know, according to Flemeth’s words in DA2, that Myhtal can exists in different places, as long as there is a “small piece” of her somewhere. 

Flemeth in DA2 says:

“I’m a fly in the ointment. I am a whisper in the shadows. I am also and old, old woman. More than that you need not know”

“Must I be in only one place? Bodies are such limiting things. I am but a fragment cast adrift from the whole. A bit of flotsam to cling to in the storm”.

In DAI she says

“Once I was but a woman, crying out in the lonely darkness for justice. And she came to me, a wisp of an ancient being, and she granted me all I wanted and more. I have carried Mythal throuh the ages ever since, seeking the justice denied to her. [...] But what was Mythal? A legend given name and called a god, or something more? Truth is not the end, but a beginning.”

“I nudge history, when it’s requiered. Other times, a shove is needed.”  [chuckles]

[Mythal came to me] “for a reckoning that will shake the very heavens.”

Morrigan: And you follow her whims? Do you even know what she truly is? Flemeth: You seek to preserve the powers that were, but to what end? It is because I taught you, girl, because things happened that were never meant to happen. She was betrayed as I was betrayed - as the world was betrayed! Mythal clawed and crawled her way through the ages to me, and I will see her avenged! Alas, so long as the music plays, we dance.

When elven inquisitor asks her

Inquisitor: Why haven’t you [Mythal] helped us? We’ve called to you, prayed to you. Flemeth: What was could not be changed. Inquisitor: What about now? You know so much.... Flemeth: You know not what you ask, child.

Flemeth, about Kieran:

“He carried a piece of what once was, snatched from the jaws of darkness.”

So I think this also may show that Mythal’s retribution is coming. Flemeth has been doing a lot of mastermind work along the ages to give Mythal her deserving revenge associated with the destruction of the Evanuris that, it seems, Solas will perform [since he absorbed Mythal’s powers]. These words were always present in any path you pick, so they are key. Flemeth says that she will stay in this path as long as the “music plays”. This seems to refer to the music of the Darkspwan and the Archdemons that, thanks to Avernus, we know it’s linked, at the end, to something calling from the Black City too [read Songs and elements that sing and whisper in DA Lore and the last part of DLC: Soldier’s Peak]. What I understand is that Flemeth will not be in peace until the Evanuris are destroyed completelly. Which seems to have been Solas’ goal since forever, but lacked power to do it in that moment and he only managed to seal them and borrow some time [and power, since the orb was gathering Fade energy for a millenia]. This plan, of course, was ruined by Corypheus. 

In short, considering Flemeth’s words about how shape is limiting, I wonder if there is a chance for Mythal to be in some shape or form, linked to the Golden City, in her Dragon Form, sealing the Evanuris. This hypothesis seems unlikely because Solas told us that Mythal died in some way. You can’t die and be a guardian at the same time. 

However, here comes the last hypothesis I can muster:  Mythal as the thing that was sealed in the Golden City, fused with the Evanuris. I think there is little to mistrust about the fact that the Evanuris indeed are trapped in the Black City, however, this illustration may imply that Mythal, in her dragon shape, is sealed there too. Considering Flemeth’s words, that sugest she is just a small fragment from the whole, cast adrift, and that can exist in different places at the same time, I wonder if Mythal, in a corrupted, draconic shape, belongs to the creatures that were sealed in the Black City. Maybe she is the ultimate danger, fused with the other evanuris, corrupted and mad by the Blight that “killed” her [when the Evanuris are hard to kill, according to Solas’ words in Somewhere[DLC Trespasser]: Elven Ruins]. This is a bit weird concept, to be fair, but I think that it tastes to “Bioware plot twist”.

The cover and the back

Let’s analyse the illustrations while constrasting these three hypothesis. They show two different versions of the same illustration, a non-corrupted and a corrupted one.

The front cover [details can be seen in this webpage ]: We see, in general, the Golden City with a Dragon behind, extending its wings onto the city, as if they were protecting it. I will call this image the “non-corrupted” version. Now, let’s go to the details. 

Facts that can be seen in a better quality image:

The dragon is black or dark coloured with a blue accent. It has slightly curved horns and red glowing eyes [image 1].  From their wings, a dense golden-like canopy raises. In some parts of the drawing it looks like a golden vine spread all over the dragon’s wings [image 2]. Despite being in front of the source of light, the dragon does not cast shadows onto the city. The illustration seems to inspire the idea of “guardian” or “protection”.

The lower parts of the Dragon’s wings show branches that have no leaves, but look like single insect wings pending from branches [image 2, arrows]. Could this be related to the codex “Flowering Imago” from Ancient Elven codices; Vir Dirthara? I don’t know.

The area of the wings without branches shows a texture of red veins which can be perceived as veins of an animal as well as veins of a leaf [image 5].

Behind the dragon there is an Eclipse almost happening.

The cupule of the building shows small typical details of Elvhenan design that I talked and pointed out in the post Patterns and Styles: Elvhenan.  The windows look the same design that the elvhenan ones [image 3].

The four spires that can be seen in the city are repeated upside-down, in shadows, implying this place may be similar to the Inverted Ward [image 4, arrows].

The gates of the building resemble strongly the gate of the Temple of Mythal, displaying a draconic image, similar to the statue of the dragon shape of Mythal [image 7].

The trees that rise and entangle with the building seem to be one with the structure, giving it more stability. This gives me the idea that the Dragon, related to these trees through its wings, keeps giving protection and stability to the city.

The whole city lays on a small floating isle.

In front of the isle, there is a tiny humanoid figure with a staff that  displays the shape of one of the symbols of the Archdemons [image 6]. I talked a lot about this symbol in the post  “The Destruction of the Veil“, linking it to Darkspawn and The Architect. 

Around this figure, several birds or winged insects fly around [image 6, arrow].

The space around the city is bright and colourful, reinforcing the idea of a vivid city.

The back cover [details can be seen in this bigger image]. We see, in general, the Black City with a Dragon behind, extending their wings onto the corrupted city, as several faces with symbolic helms are fused in its wings. I’ll call this version the “corrupted” one.

Facts that can be seen:

The dragon is black or dark coloured with red accents. It has curved horns, and a second pair of horns protrudes from its jaw. It’s not clear for me if it has yellow glowing eyes or red ones [image 8]. These horns seem to have a resemblance with the Dragon version of Flemeth in DA2, but not in DAO [ but we know DAO engine was always poor for environmental telling and design details].  Flemeth’s hairstyle doesn’t resemble to any of these horns [image 8]. However, the strange tiara that Flemeth wears seems to coincide a lot with the horn structure of her Dragon shape in DA2 [the tiara has some curves on her temple that resembles the smaller horns in her dragon shape - blue and orange arrow-]. There is, of course, the meaningful yet mysterious central spike too. This spike, which relates Mythal with Andraste and other figures in DA lore, is not present in the corrupted dragon’s head. Considering how important this main spike is for lore, I believe that thinking in this dragon as Mythal may be a mistake [but then again, this is a corrupted dragon that may have suffered a transformation due to the Blight].

From its wings, a dense withered-like canopy dies. The corruption is deeper and more blackened the closer to the extreme of its wings. This corruption looks like black vines, but lacks of thorns. We know that thorny vines are related to the Blight since DAO games. We spoke about this in posts such as Murals in DAI: Basics.

Fused with the corruption of its wings, we see six heads, many of them with clear elven ears. All of them are wearing a helm with the symbols that we identified with the Old Gods / Archdemons in the post of the mural of “Red Lyrium Idol” and  “The Creation of the Veil” [image 9].

The area of the wings without branches shows a texture of white veins, and in some parts of this darkened area, bits of orange that seem to imply something is burning inside this corrupted body. Looks like small peeks of Red Lyrium [image 11] or lava. 

Behind the dragon there is an Eclipse happening, so the shadows projected by the dragon fall all onto the city. The Design of this Eclipse looks the same like the design of the (alternative) logo of Bioware for Dragon Age Dreadwolf [image 10].

The building is completely overtaken by these black vines, which destroy the infrastructure. It even destroys part of the isle where the city was built upon. We can see that these vines spread deep into it. The corrupted trees are not sustaining and reinforcing the structure of the building but attacking it. The Dragon “lost” its protective nature.

All these black vines remind me a lot of the strange Tentacles we find in the Fade of DAO [image 12]. They protrude from structures or the ground, and some of them even from statues. Maybe it was a concept related to the Old Gods when their design was more related to a Cthulhu creature with tentacles for feet. Check DAO screenshots in the posts The Fade - DAO  and The Fade: The Undying Blackmarsh – DA Awakening 

There is no tiny humanoid figure in front of the city anymore. However, the symbol that this figure had in their staff is the symbol we don’t see among the faces fused in the dragon’s wings [Image “?”]. This would mean that one of these creatures “escaped” this fate. 

The colour of the space around the city is darkened, desaturated, and with “smoke” vein in the air, reinforcing the idea that this space has been corrupted deeply. 

Speculations

The Dragon

The dragon and the dense vine rising along its wings, making it look like trees in the non-corrupted version suggests several potential representations:

1) This strong presence of the Forest theme in the dragon may relate this city to Arlathan, which was located in a deep, dense Forest entangled with the Fade, according to the comic The Missing. This would help us link Arlathan and the Golden City as the same place, since it has been very obscure in DA lore the whereabouts of the city of Arlathan. The only hints we have are the Tyrdda Bright-Axe Path, in which the man who wants to force Trydda in a marriage with him claims that  whispers told him to conquer the Golden City at the North of their lands, which is a location where the Forest of Arlathan, and potentially the gone city, fit. The unreliable Dalish tales also claim that Alathan was sunk into the underground by Tevinter [details in Arlathan codices from Ancient Elven codices; Din'an Hanin– Elgar’nan Bastion]. There is no more pieces of lore or hints that explain the whereabouts of Arlathan.

2) The dragon seems to be a symbol that may represent Mythal. Another speculation is that this Dragon was Mythal, and the Golden City [maybe Arlathan], may have been her city or the city where her fate was sealed.

According to the unreliable codex [The Temple of Mythal], it seems to be an archeological fact that the Elvhenan used to have a main Temple surrounded by a city developed around it. We know the Temple of Mythal lays in the Arbor Wilds, and we can see some ruins that may fit the idea of a “city/town” before reaching the central part of it [see Temple of Myhtal - Part 1], so the hypothesis that the Golden City was Mythal’s main city seems discarded. However, we also know that Mythal may have had many cities and the biggest ones among the Evanuris thanks to the codex "Song to Sylaise” from  Ancient Elven codices, Temple of Mythal.This city can be one of the many that belonged to Myhtal as well as the place where her fate was sealed.

3) This dragon may represent one of the ancient gods that the Elvhenan worshipped before becoming gods themselves. This city also may have been the temple of an ancient dragon that the Evanuris worshipped in the begining [according my interpretation of the Elvhenan lore, explained here], but it is hard to speculate further. There is no much lore but some visual hints on this matter.

4) If it is the city where Mythal’s fate was sealed, we can imagine that the Evanuris, desiring Mythal’s natural Dragon shape, may have invited her here and may have made experiments with her [as we know some Ghilan’nair’s experiments were performed in Tevinter Nights: The Horror of Hormak, that may include some fusion of animals in order to modify their shape]. Let’s remember that the Evanuris were related to winged shapes, “a shape reserved for the Divine and their Chosen” [from the codex Ancient Elven Writing]. If this is the case, the corrupted version of this dragon may represent Mythal, corrupted, and also, displaying her recknoning upon the city, where the other Evanuris were sealed by Solas. She and the others are fused in the corruption itself released by this hypothetical experiment. 

There is also a chance that Mythal, in her dragon shape, is still protecting the city, trying to contain the spread of the Blight thanks to the natural Blight-resistance that Dragons have. This concept is only inspired by Flemeth’s words about hinting the fact that she can be in many places at the same time, and bodies are limiting things [there is also a strange hint in the old quest of the Blackmarsh, where a demon in human shape could be in the Fade while a dragon-like shape related to it could be in the Waking World, details in The Blackmarsh and the High Dragon]. Maybe some pieces of Mythal were spread in the world to preserve a bit of her, while her [corrupted] Dragon form remained sealed with the evanuris or maybe she is a guardian of the corupted city. Flemeth also claims to an elven inquisitor that Mythal “changed”, and according to the corruption version of this illustation, Mythal may have changed, and acquired a more menacing looking, as her horns changed too and lost her central spike, such an iconic element in her design.

The inner side of its wings are consumed by the Blight, but the top external side is still resisting. So, the dragon resists the Blight, protecting or isolating the city even though the dragon’s horns changed, and it is “a different/corrupted” dragon. To me this double image represents what the mural “The Creation of the Veil” implies: the Black city, for an unknown reason, has 7 gates that could not be closed and were protected by creatures that could resist this corruption as long as possible: 7 dragons. This idea is a bit supported by the fact that Flemeth always tried to protect Urthemiel’s soul by teaching to Morrigan to protect “what was once” and telling her to have the baby. Urthemiel cannot be an Evanuris that killed Mythal [remember that Mythal wants revenge for that betrayal]. And Urthemiel is a dragon, as we saw him in his Archdemon form, and Mythal/Flemeth is also a dragon, so maybe she is part of the group of these dragons that were powerful “ancient gods”, potentially worshipped by the Elvhenan in the beginning until they got their own divinity. From that moment on, these dragons became the Forgotten Ones, chased by Andruil to the Abyss, and later, worshipped by the Tevinter as “Old Gods” that reside underground. I explained a bit this idea in the post Attempt to rebuild Ancient Elvhenan History. 

5) This dragon maybe is not Mythal, but another archdemon, or maybe the mysterious 8th Old God. I never know what to do with that bit of information: the codices of the astrarium imply the presence of an 8th old god dragon that makes no sense to introduce in the lore so late [Constellation: Draconis]. Is this dragon related to this illustration? I don’t know.

As a detail, the wing veins in the non-corrupted version are red, and I am not sure we should understand them as veins of red lyrium. Because, first, it makes no sense to have red lyrium inside a dragon's body in a version which is not the corrupted one, and second, if it were the case, it would imply that Dragons, [these ancient dragons] used to have lyrium instead of blood, which would relate dragons to Titans as the same creatures. And despite the fact that the lore seems to show some similarities between these creatures when it comes to their powers of manipulating Reality or being underground, sleeping, it seems extremely odd. It’s too big of a concept inside the lore of Dragon Age to take it lightly, because it would imply that dwarves are “dragon children”, and things will get more confused when thinking in the “crafted race” of the Qunari.

The two versions of the dragon indeed look like different ones. I’ve been speculating long ago that, so far we can gather from comics and codices, the Elvhenan, in particular the Evanuris, were looking for means to obtain Divinity. The Dragons seem to be extremely old, and ruled the skies when “everything sang the same song” [Yavana’s words]. We can also suspect that the Great Dragons had somniari powers, meaning that they could change reality through the alteration of the Fade [The Silent Grove, Those Who Speak, Until We Sleep] and mortals could attain some degree of this power via their blood. On the other hand, we find in the last comic [The Missing] a mural of potential Evanuris wearing dragon-like outfits. This fits with the old codices of the Elvhenan we found in game, where “divinity was related to the shape of something with wings” that we can assume it’s a dragon. We have several hints pointing to us that maybe, the Evanuris, when they were generals and mages, worshipped “ancient gods” that were Great Dragons, until they found a way to manipulate their own shape to become dragons themselves. Maybe here the Titans appeared as the means for this transformation [in The Horror of Hormak we see that this process of fusing shapes include crystals that seems to be made out of lyrium, maybe these are the Titan’s heart?]

We know that Evanuris did something terrible with Titan’s power that forced Solas to hide all that monstrosity, collapsing the Deep Roads in order to avoid anyone attempting to reach that power again. The codex associated with this event may transpire hints that can be related to a terrible thing being unleashed that may have killed Mythal [or maybe corrupted her? Details in “The Death of a Titan”]. That could be the Blight, or the red lyrium, or something worse that originated these two diseases.

We also suspect that the Forgotten Ones and the Evanuris had been at war for a long time before the Titan War, so how did the Forgotten Ones fit in the reconstruction of this past? It’s hard to say with precision, but some bland and weak hints may imply that the Dragons that have been leading Blights are, in fact, the Forgotten Ones [the only weak proof we have about this connection is through Hakkon/Geldauran in Elvhen Tomb]. This means that the Forgotten Ones may have been dragons [or more likely Great Dragons] and not elvhenan, and, when the Evanuris released the evilness that they created [probably The Blight], it was the Forgotten Ones [naturally resistant to the Blight, read Josephine’s result in Learn More about Dragons] who became the protectors and the means to isolate that disease from the rest of the world until finding a solution.

The Eclipse

Eclipses are associated with Fen’Harel and the events to come, according the codex The Emergent Compendium: an ancient magical tome that produces images and text on its own [DA2]. One of the pictures it manifested was described as "Two shadowed spheres among stars", and it was accompanied by a subtitle that could be deciphered into the phrase "An eclipse as Fen'Harel stirred." [I talked a while ago about how "stir” seems to be used mostly to describe the movement of Titans in DA lore, so the word choice is quite peculiar here, details in “The Destruction of the Veil“].

Eclipses are also related to the dynamics of sun-moon hidding each other or projecting shadows over the other, which may relate Mythal [unreliably related to the moon, according the Dalish Tales/codex Mythal: the Great Protector] and Elgar’nan, who has several unreliable Dalish tales in which he “hides” or “shoves” the sun down into the earth. The concept that the Sun is hidden somehow is repeated in small details along the lore of these gods, even though all of these tales are extremelly unreliable in my opinion. It’s hard to appraise the grain of truth they must have.

If the Sun is related to Elgar’nan, and if the moon may be, somehow, related to Mythal, then, a [solar] eclipse is the moon [Mythal] overtaking the figure of Sun [Elgar’nan?]. The fact that Elgar’nan is associated with vengeance, while Mythal to justice but also revenge, seems to weakly push us in this direction when we remember that Mythal took the place of Elgar’nan as judge of the People. 

Let’s open a parenthesis here and refresh details before we continue further:

Mythal has always been a goddess of the Revenge as well, according to Solas in the scene of Altar of Mythal, which places Elgar’nan in a curious and questionable role. Elgar’nan was always related to fury, vengeance, and brutality. And we also know through the codex of The Judgment of Mythal, that she took the place of Elgar’nan as a judge of The People to avoid his fury which destroyed everything it touched. Considering this, it seems that Mythal has been shifting into a more “Elgar’nan”-like shape.

I can’t say Elgar'nan and Mythal are both the same entity, since the old codices of the Elvhenan present in the Temple of Mythal show two different Evanuris. However, the many aspects where Elgar’nan and Mythal overlap, the lack of much more iconography for Elgar’nan as the big “father” of the Elvhenan pantheon [which makes us suspect he was a really powerful Evanuris, probably compared to Mythal], and the repetitive concept of split personalities that some Evanuris seemed to have, make me play with the idea that Mythal and Elgar’nan are the same. After all, Mythral has different representations on statues: as a dragon, as a humanoid, and as an elf in mosaics [check Evanuris]. This is not a peculiarity of hers alone; Fen’harel also has 2 shapes: the elf and the wolf. And we also have the very vague case of Dirthamen and Falon’Din who seem to have different shapes but sometimes one takes over the other and it’s very unclear what’s the true nature of their situation: a lot of this has been speculated in Humanoid Dirthamen and in The Lost Temple of Dirthamen - Part 1-Part 2. Besides, Solas always warned us that the nature of Mythal was more complex than we can truly understand [read Temple of Mythal, Part 1, Part 2, and Solas sharing Lore: Part 1 - Part 2].

I’m not saying Elgar’nan and Mythal are the same [I don’t truly believe it yet], but sometimes I play with the idea, considering how little ancient art we have about Elgar’nan and how much of it is related to Mythal. If we think in Emerald Graves: Din'an Hanin, the place is called “Elgar’nan’s Bastion”, and even though the place has been altered by ancient Dalish, and there are plenty of statues that seem odd to be there [like the many Andrastes spread in the main hall], we still find many of Mythal’s presence in a central display. Now, this may be consequence of the ancient Dalish or may have been there long time ago before them; that we don’t know. We also have the mysterious Strange Idol [analysis] deep down in the tomb of this Bastion, surrounded by Mythal’s dragon shaped statues. It’s also true that these dragon-statues seem to be defensive devices as the scene with Corypheus entering the Temple showed us.

Another detail that always got my attention was that the mosaic of Elgar’nan, which I spoke about in Evanuris, shows a non-elven limb. His arm has the shape of a wolf’s or a “dragon’s” arm, with big claws, shoving down the Sun. We also know, thanks to Flemeth’s words, that bodies are “limiting things”, so Mythal maybe has been adopting different forms along her life or depending on the role she had to perform. This idea is very weak, supported barely by details that, I personally, don’t consider super strong, but still yet I think it’s worth commenting that maybe there is something going on about these Evanuris. Maybe we have, at the end of the day, less Evanuris [maybe four plus Fen’Harel?] than the ones we thought [eight plus Fen’Harel] simply because many of them were split in the Tales due to their different roles along their lives?: Falon’Din and Dirthamen as one, Ghilan’nain and Andruil as one, Elgar’nan and Mythal as one, and by discarding enumeration, June and Sylaise as one. Geldauran speaks only about Andruil and June [check Elvhen Tomb]. Solas speaks dismissingly about Falon’Din and Andruil [Temple of Mythal, Part 2]. How is it possible that Elgar’nan, as the “father” of the pantheon, and therefore probably one of the most important/powerful Evanuris originally, ended up being such a forgetteable figure in the art and places we found? It’s another mystery to me.

Anyways, this whole paragraph is an idea that has been flying around my head for a long while, and to be honest, I’m not super convinced about it. It seems very weak and baseless, even though there are some details that keep making it annoying to discard completely, specially if we take into account how fluid shape was among the elvhenan.

So, with all these details in mind, the eclipse as a concept of moon taking over the Sun could represent mythal changing or taking over Elgar’nan’s figure? Or it’s Mythal all along, but Elgar’nan is the corrupted or angry version of her, while Mythal is the gentle mother and what was left of her? Mythal, after all, changed; and could not help The People anymore. Something happened that was never meant to happen [Flemeth’s words]. However, I doubt this because the split is previous to her assasination.

Closing the Parenthesis and returning to the Eclipses: It is also true that eclipses are associated with darkness because they tend to block [the solar eclipses] the light of the sun. So the constant reiterative comment of the darkness in the Chant of Light or in Elvhenan codices may have a double interpretation: as the darkness=Blight but also as an allegory to the darkness that comes with an eclipse. To this point in the lore, and considering the last videos/trailers we were given, it’s clear for us that Eclipses are omens of something big that will happen.

If we allow the interpretation of an Eclipse to be a bit more laxed, we can also see it as an overlap of different spheres, and there is a common yet vague symbolism in these games and recent trailers about  “spheres” that may be related to eclipses too. Let’s numerate them just to have all of them in one place:

Mythal: the Great Protector: Unreliable Dalish tale, where we read that Mythal created a “pale sphere in the sky” which is one of the two moons of Thedas. This seems irrelevant but for completion’s sake I add it to this list.

The Emergent Compendium: I’ve refered to this codex in the begining of this section. It’s an ancient magical tome that produces images and text on its own, presented to us in DA2. One of the pictures it manifested was described as "Two shadowed spheres among stars", and it was accompanied by a subtitle that could be deciphered into the phrase "An eclipse as Fen'Harel stirred." It seems to relate Fen’Harel with an eclipse or the overlapping of spheres.

Veilfire Runes in the Deep Roads, requeires Veilfire to read:  There is smell of blood followed by the image of green vines growing and enveloping a sphere of fire. A sphere of fire can be interpreted as a Sun too. The “original fire/sun” was sealed in a sphere, protected with vines. I spoke a lot about this “sphere of fire” in Murals in DAI: Red Lyrium Idol and The Death of a Titan. A lot of more speculation in Ancient Elven codices; Vir Dirthara, and how the “sphere of fire” also leaked into the Andrastian faith in Andrastian Design: Stained Glasses. This particular sphere of fire seems to be important now, specially with the visual design of red lyrium and trailers of creatures or trees burning from the inside that Bioware shared with us lately. This sphere seems to be a container of something furious and destructive.

Raising the Sonallium tells us that there were thousand of elves maintaining a spell to pull raw essence from the Fade into a sphere in order to create pocket worlds, “planes in-between”, like the Crossroad. The sphere in this codex has a temple, in rust-red jungles with waterfalls. Spheres here are presented as we saw them in the mosaics of Fen’Harel, in Ancient Elven codices; Fen’Harel’s mountain ruins.  This sphere seems to be a container of a world or another plane of existence.

Old Elven Writing gives us the image of two overlapping spheres; “unknown flowers bloom inside their centres”.  We know that these spheres can be representations of pocket worlds, according to the previous codex in this list. Overlaping spheres can be also interpreted as an Eclipse. Flowers blooming inside is a bit odd. We didn’t see lore related to this image. If we see the banner of the Elvhenan [the brown banner I showed in Somewhere[DLC Trespasser]: Elven Ruins], they have a pattern of flowers, but this seems to help little. However, flowers may be related to the reiterative symbol of the vines. In a laxed way, this image brings to me a distant relationship with Vir Dirthara: A Flowering Imago, which is a codex that always got my attention due to its oddity and rebel nature to find a proper interpretation within the context of DA lore. I talked about it extensively in Ancient Elven codices; Vir Dirthara.

Murals: In Solas’ murals, we see the representation of the Fade and the several barriers crafted to isolate the Black City as [sometimes red] spheres too [details in Murals in DAI: Basics and in “The actions of the Inquisitor”]. The Red sphere is always the one related to or encapsuling the Black City. In the mural  “Red Lyrium Idol” we see Solas figure walking inside or on the sphere that may be on fire. In this last mural, it feels like he will face and deal with the danger that was contained in the “fire sphere” long ago. 

As a final note related to Eclipses, I think it’s worth noting that the DA lore also has some details about the stars and the historical meaning of astronomy in few codices. Eclipses are events related to celestial bodies, so stars and skies must also have some significance in this lore. Trying to find this link, I found two codices that give us a bit of more context related to the inminent Eclipse that will happen and that will bring a deep, chaotic change. 

Notes on the Stars: is a codex found in Fallow Mire. It seems to imply that the sky has been shifting and changing slowly [”Looks like different sky“]  Although its interpretation may be left open, considering the fact that the sky is different in different hemispheres. However, I’m not sure Thedas is spread along different hemispheres but extended all just in one: the south hemisphere [Even though we don’t know the planet where Thedas exists, I suspect it is located on the South Hemisphere of the said planet: warmer and tropical to the north, and colder and icy to the south; which is how climate works, in broad lines, in the south hemisphere of a planet with a day-night cycle like Thedas]. So, in theory, that the sky is changing is not a comment to take as irrelevant, but as a piece of enviromental information which is telling us that the sky is changing and therefore, something big is going to happen at a global scale.

Astrariums: This codex gives us the unvaluable information that cults previous to the Andrastian conversion of Tevinter were deeply against the Magisterium system and wanted to be ruled by Dreamers. We also learn that the Sidereal Magister were related to astronomy thanks to this codex, since all of them were Dreamers too. Also, the word Sidereal makes sense now; “of or relating to the stars or constellations”. Maybe this is associated with the idea that “the dragons ruled the sky” [The Silent Grove], so Tevinter tried to approach their dragon divinities by studying the constellations.

These two codices give us a bit more of information about the importance of the sky within DA lore, and how the incoming Eclipse may be changing things already. 

The Tiny Figure

The figure with the staff is a mystery to me. I can link its staff’s shape with several things: 

from The Architect [items sold by the Nexus Golem in DA2] and a broad faction of mindless Darkspawn [darkspawn decorations in DAO], to a Great Dragon/Forgotten One used during the creation of the Veil [details in the mural “The Destruction of the Veil“ and in “The Creation of the Veil”]. This symbol is also present in one of the Fen’Harel’s mosaics, in Ancient Elven codices; Fen’Harel’s mountain ruins, from which drops of lyrium fall and a lot of speculation has been done around it. These small details keep telling me of the potentiality of relating the Titans to the ancient Great Dragons that slumber underground. We know that both creatures have the power to change reality through different means, although both have totally different kind of blood [dragon blood vs lyrium]. However, we also know that Evanuris exploited Titans, and Mythal [a dragon] may have learnt “something else” from them.

First speculation: The figure is Solas, and the symbol is Fen’Harel’s

The tiny humanoid figure is in front of the city in the non-corrupted version, while it is not there anymore in the corrupted one. Curiously, the symbol of their staff is the symbol we don’t see among the faces fused with the dragon’s wings, so I suspect it means it was the “Evanuris” that "made it", an Evanuris that escaped Fen’Harel’s banishment. Hence my suspicion that the figure could be Solas himself and that symbol Fen’Harel’s or Mythal’s. However, I think it’s impossible for this symbol to represent Fen’Harel: Solas is not a Dragon, he never was one, and his rejection to Divinity is present in most codices we explored. He did not take the divine shape of a “winged thing” [his shape, actually, has always been of a wolf, recently made “draconic-like” due to the absortion of Mythal/Flemeth’s powers], and he also was always Solas in the way he is now [Solas’ own words], so he was always a creature related to a wolf of six eyes that, probably, took the shape of an elvhen due to Mythal’s request [read details in “Solas’ Nature” in Solas sharing Lore: Part 1 ].

The most logical concept to explain that figure should be Solas, appreciating the city and the magnificent dragon [Mythal] he has praised in game a couple of times, before isolating it when the Evanuris went too far and corrupted it. But it’s a speculation without any proof, to be honest. And the fact that all these symbols in the helms of the elvhen fused with the dragon’s wings were dragons [read “The Creation of the Veil”], makes this hypothesis less likely. Solas was never related to a dragon shape, so these C horns could not represent Fen’Harel [we have suspected that all these symbols are related to Archdemons/Great Dragons thanks to the unmistakable symbol of Urthemiel, check “The Creation of the Veil”]. We also have to remember that this C-symbol is also used by Darkspawns, and Solas is even less related to them. With this idea, the mosaic of the creature bleeding lyrium is also nonsense: Solas has not lyrium blood, although his wolf shape has been painted once with eyes that may represent lyrium [I explained this detail in “The Destruction of the Veil“].

Second speculation: The figure is Solas, and the symbol is Mythal’s

The other speculation I can make is that this C symbol represents Mythal herself. Part of this symbol appears in the horns of the corrupted dragon. We know that Evanuris killed Mythal [but we suspect they did something worse to her since “Evanuris do not die easily”], and that may be represented in the mosaic of Fen’Harel with that figure bleeding lyrium [this, again, puts us in the uncomfortable position of making a comparison of a titan with a dragon; however, we know Mythal got something powerful from the Titan she killed in “The Death of a Titan”, and maybe this power is represented with the lyrium drops in such mosaic]. We know that Solas respects her enough to, probably, carry a staff with her symbol, and allow a representation of her assasination in the series of mosaics in his pocket world [Fen’Harel’s mountain ruins] to keep memory of what the Evanuris did to her. 

How does this interpretation explain the symbol carried by the Darkspawn? It’s true that the darkspawn keep hearing a song in their heads that, thanks to Avernus [ Soldier’s Peak], we know it comes from the Black City, even though it feels like it’s from the Archdemons. If we still try to stick to this interpretation, we are getting close to assume that Mythal, in her dragon shape, is still in the Black City, corrupted, maybe even fused with the rest of the Evanuris. So these symbols carried by the Darkspawn have always been representation of Mythal, who keeps singing a song with the other Evanuris from the Black City through the Archdemons to the Darkspawn. This idea seem to resound a bit when we remember Flemeth’s words: she is a fragment adrift in the storm, and she keeps doing whatever she is doing [we dance] “as long as the music plays”.

We also have the curious and forgeteable long quest of The Blackmarsh and the High Dragon in DAO which, despite being cryptic, can have an interpretation that makes us aware that in Thedas, there are means to have doble shape, and one of them, as a dragon. Of course, this is a mere obscure hint that shows a potentiality. It’s far away from being a clear canon concept still.

But returning to the interpretation of seeing this dragon as Mythal, there is more than one flaw in this interpretation: We have enough art of Flemeth to suspect her symbol is not this C-Symbol [read details in “The Destruction of the Veil“]. However, I noticed again that the corrupted dragon seems to have a similar shape of “horns” than the ones we saw in Flemeth’s art in the cutscenes of DA2, but still missing the iconic central spike. So, as we can see, the interpretation of this C-symbol, and the tiny figure is very, very obscure. None of the interpretations seem to fit every detail.

What we can link with some degree of certantity is that, now, this C-symbol makes sense to be present among the Darkspawn, since it seems to imply that this is the corrupted dragon/creature that has been "singing” throuhg the Blight and archdemons into the head of all blighted creatures. This corrupted dragon, whoever it is, resides in the Black City, maybe even fused with the Evanuris, probably victim of a process similar to what we saw in The Horror of Hormak [read the process explained by Jovis]. After all, Avernus [Soldier’s Peak] always told us that the Archdemons were not the true source of the song, but something inside the Black City itself. 

Art pieces in the vinyl book

These vinyls come within a “book” where each of them is placed in a double-sheet/envelop page. Each of these pages shows a very stylised image. We proceed to analyse each of them.

Update on Dec 2023: Here, someone compiled all the images, and can be seen a lot better.

First Image: The Gray Warden Image

This seems to represent a griffon. It’s an uncommon Grey Warden’s symbol, since I didn’t see it anywhere before. However, the presence of the chalice with a symbol of a drop of “black” blood makes it unmistakable. 

The sword that pierces the griffon’s neck also has a drop of blood, but it seems to be a white drop. Maybe this is related to the concept we learnt in the book Last Flight: as a last resource during the Fourth Blight, the Grey Warden started to force their griffons to a process similar to the Joining, but they didn’t handle the corruption well. Madness spread among the Griffons and most of them had to be sacrificed. This was the reason why the griffons went extinct.

The dagger that the griffon carries in its talons seems to pierce or be surrounded by something long and white that looks like tendrils or a snake with small branches, or a vine [which usually represents The Blight]. It’s not clear. 

On the background, there is a symbol that looks similar to the ones we saw for glyphs or for mage organizations such as the Circle. So far, I could not find the one matching this.

I think it’s clear that this vinyl will contain the music related to the game DAO due to its strong relationship with the Gray Warden symbols.

Second Image: The Hawk and Kirkwall logo

Twitter user Kiranox (@/veranox) was able to do some photo manipulation and have a better image of the second and third one despite the perspective.

As @felassan​ has pointed out, this symbol displays two unmistakable old ones:

The Hawke falling onto its prey, and the Symbol of Kirkwall on the background. 

 It’s curious that, in this vinyl illustration, both images are overlaped, as if they were trying to tell us that this geometrical symbol is a Hawk, when we know that, historically speaking, it was a rising dragon, from the time Kirkwall was called Emerius [more details in the post Kirkwall history and design].

When we have this image in high quality we will see it better, but the white figure also looks to me like a hawk falling free, and I can’t stop thinking in relating this to Flemeth’s words: "A word of advice, we stand upon the precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. Watch for that moment… and when it comes, do not hesitate to leap.” Her cryptic words were always interpreted by me that the world needs Hawke to stay in the Fade. Soon, Fade and Waking World will join again, and maybe what Hawke did in the Fade until their death will be extremelly useful and key in the world that we are going to face in DA4. 

This symbol also has what looks like a rope in a messy way, maybe even falling free too, with a knot in one side. The only symbol similar to this that I can relate to is Sylaise’s vallaslin, which looks like snakes or ropes in messy ways, but I don’t think there is any link between these. Is this image telling us that this is Hawke leaping into the abyss with a cut rope, and therefore, no way to return?

What I think it’s clear is that the vinyl placed in here will be related to DA2′s music due to its strong relationship with the hawk and Kirkwall symbology.

Third Image: The diagram and the hexagonal shape

If we continue this logic, this image should be a symbol representative of DAI.

What I see repeated several times here is a pattern of 6 circles, 3 of different colour and alternated. Inside of the central circle we have another set of three filled circles. This repetition of 3-circles is not something I can say I’ve seen in DAI. In fact, I’m nor really sure to what associate it with.  If these were a Quincunx, we would have a lot of speculation to make since it’s a symbol present in Thedas since DAO.

These six circles are inside an hexagonal shape, which is deeply related to Tevinter, as I described in details in Patterns and Styles: Tevinter. It has a potential to be related to focis, that potentiated the power of the dreamers or priests to communicate with their dragon gods. 

This design also looks similar to the diagrams that faintly appear in the background or on the body of some creatures that I talked about in Nation Art: Elvhen. However, none of them fits perfectly.

It is likely that this vinyl will countain all the music related to DAI due to the symboly of magical diagram and the presence of the Tevinter hexagonal shape. 

Fourth Image: The diagram and the spheres

This is probably a mixture of all previous games with some pieces related to the incoming game of DA4.

This figure, in general, shows a Quincunx, where the central part are the three overlaped circles with a sun or a star inside.

I don’t think it can be related too much to Solas’ tarot Card [which is related to Orlesian decoration of the Winter Palace, as we can see a rug with the same kind of Quincunx symbology on it in the book of Art of Inquisition [below]. 

Again, as I said in Patterns and Styles: Orlais, a lot of Orlesian design and art seems to be strongly influenced by the elvhenan, so maybe this symbol has a particular meaning to the Elvhenan, but so far, I can’t think much of it beyond the fact that it is a Quincunx.

If Anything, that tarot card is showing the Quincunx symbol in itself, with Solas being the central, and therefore, the important thing. Just because these symbols have a clear Quincunx in them, one could relate the three spheres and the star in the vinyl illustration to Solas. These three spheres look like overlaping one that has a “sun”, so the meaning of an eclipse seems to be implied. And we know that Solas, in his Fen’Harel representation, is related to an ominous Eclipse, according the The Emergent Compendium I spoke about in the section “The Eclipse”.

Let’s talk about these three spheres and the star present in the vinyl: The star has the same shape to the central star we see in Solas’ mural when he draws the Temple of Mythal in “The actions of the Inquisitor”. This strengthens the hypothesis that the dragon we see in these illustations may be related to Mythal in her dragon shape.

I’m not sure if this symbology of three spheres overlapping has something to do with the mysterious symbol found at Emerald Graves: Din'an Hanin. In it, we see three golden ring of the same size, aligned. The central one is surrounded by a bigger ring, which seems to be similar to the image we see in this black-and-golden illustration: Three spheres [blue and orange ones] with a bigger ring [yellow line]. In fact, it looks like a progression: The first stage is the one shown in Emerald Graves: Din'an Hanin, where the two orange sphere approach and try to overlap the blue one, which is inside a bigger ring. The second stage is the orange circles overlaping half of the blue one [this is seen in the trailer too], and the last one is this vinyl illustration, where we see that the three spheres are inside the bigger ring and we see the middle of the blue sphere: a sun or a star, or maybe a “sphere of fire”. I talked a lot about the concept of the “sphere of fire” in Murals in DAI: Red Lyrium Idol and The Death of a Titan. A lot of more speculation in Ancient Elven codices; Vir Dirthara, and how the “sphere of fire” also leaked into the Andrastian faith in Andrastian Design: Stained Glasses. 

This Star [made of eight points] is the same one that we see in the mural of Temple of Mythal, but it’s also very similar to the yellow mosaic I talked about a lot in posts such as: “The Death of a Titan” and in the tag asterisk symbol. This links Mythal with this star, which can potentially be related to the heart of the titans and this mysterious power the Evanuris discovered aside Lyrium.

Why I don’t give to much thoughts to Solas’ tarot card? Because it’s a general  Quincunx which central important element is Soals himself. Similar Quincunx symbol appears in this vinyl illustration. In fact the circles that compound this Quincunx are very similar, but those in Solas’ tarot card’s present a series of small icons: a moon, a sun, undulating lines, and four dots.

We can assume that they may be related to magic, but so far we saw in DAO, DA2, and DAI, all these symbols come from the Circle, and therefore most of them keep recreating the Chantry icon, or are inspired in it: all of them are very close to the design of the sunburst. The Orlesian carpet has a small flower in it, which is a very typical icon present in all orlesian design.

But Solas’ tarot card has four clear symbols:

We can agree that Sun/Moon may have some relationship with Mythal/Elgar’nan, since there is information that relates them, but sadly the only source we have for that is the Unreliable Dalish Tales, so it’s hard to be sure. These both symbols are also related to the Eclipse symbology that, at this point, we can’t deny as related to Fen’Harel. 

The undulating lines have been associated with “shape and control” according to the info I gathered in “Murals in DAI: Basics” in the section “Undulating lines associated with Vallaslin or/and bound-slavery”. 

The dots, so far I remember, were never seen in any game. I can only relate them to these four-petal flowers in the Orlesian design, but since we are talking about Elvhenan, it must have come from an older symbol. Maybe it’s something related to the Forgotten Ones or the Titans indeed, both groups quite unknown in the lore still. The other posibility to understand these four dots is to represent a Quincunx symbol without the middle dot.

[milestonekestrel]

I think I might be able to guess where most of the drafts are going (straight into the blender), but "explodes and dies and seven trains crash" genuinely intrigues me.

CFDBHGBGF yeah you'd be right with your guesses. mostly I think.

so thats like. the only one that isn't a wip of a narrative fic. y'know. that one's a lyric analysis!! the title is how i feel.

its about Abraham and Billy, with the song "BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA" by Will Wood. which you can expect I mean. I have NOT been normal about that song with those too since I first listened to it.

so anyway, you want the lyrics I have so far, you get them!

Me being so normal and full of thoughts about blackboxwarrior i need to be taken out back im so NORMAL AUHGHGH

Well he collapsed with Stevens-Johnson Syndrome on the E.R. floor

Panic attacked, anaphylactic and ataxic

This whole beginning is like. Kinda just abraham recounting billy’s life idk. 

This part specifically… how he died (bro collapsed… of shape infection..) but also metaphorically!! SJS is usually a disorder caused by an allergic reaction to medicine. So Billy develops it as an allergic reaction to the medicine Abraham gives him (medicine as in!! How he teaches him to be. Like the stuff he does to train him an’ allat!! Billy has an “allergic reaction”(he can’t live like this) to Abraham’s “medicine”(training) which is supposed to help him get over his “condition” (just. Like who he is. The bi thing an’ slurred speech and all)

The way he spun his butterfly risked all six his phalanges

The way he chose to live his life (spin his butterfly). And the relationships he wanted in it is the reason he gets hurt and dies (risked all six his phalanges). To Abraham, anyway. It basically ruined his life to him. (wow. No other reason huh. wild) and also risked his own reputation. 

Roman candles at both ends in his synapses

Abraham “burning the candle (Billy) at both ends” via his training. Yknow. Putting all that shit into his brain, leaving him no space of his own (it was burning at both ends) and leaving him basically fighting for his life and space like. The entire rest of the time he is alive. He could never get his own brain.. There was always something from Abraham no matter where he looked. 

And the method with which he recycled his humors

Trojan Horse'd his Blood-Brain Barrier and raised the LD-50, yes, yes

Billy recycling his humors (the man he is was thrown out, turned into trash, but hes trying to recycle it and sort of regain control) with of course, the method being both immensely disliked by Abraham and also.not completely healthy but whatever abraham is the big issue here. He sees Billy’s polycule thing as him “Trojan Horse’ing his blood-brain barrier” because of Abraham’s own views. He looks at it like Billy looking at something positively, or accepting something, that is ultimately killing him. Letting harmful things through his “blood-brain barrier.” also. Raising the LD-50. Billy is somehow surviving something that, to his dad, is the LD-50. The lethal dosage of something that would kill half of the people given it. Hes rasiing the LD-50 which he has no right to do, and not only is it endangering Abraham(‘s reputation. loser), its also proof that he’s not completely weak and pathetic. 

And through flight-or-fight revelation shame the Black Box Warrior

He skipped this town and headed straight down history

“The above usage of “black box” is used to describe behaviourist psychology theories, in which all one is concerned with is a particular subject’s responses to stimuli, with no regard to what is happening in their mind (treating the mind as a “black box”).”

Billy is the BlackBoxWarrior. Abraham is doing all this shit to him only looking for how he responds to it (the inputs and outputs) NOT what's going on inside of him. Also “fight or flight revelation” Abraham is trying to change Billy’s fundamental fight-or-flight responses to life. Trying to change the like. Inherent parts of him to fit his own interests. Not only that, he forced Billy into a corner with the shit hes putting him through, causing Billy to use his “fight-or-flight” basic instincts and act to get himself out of it. By like. Cussing Abraham out and running over his foot. And its through this “fight-or-flight revelation” that Abraham calls for “shame” on Billy because he left. “Skipped this town” i.e fled the house and moved in with Caz and Suze, and “headed straight down history” just. became history. Yesterday’s news. “Going down in history” typically means to gain some sort of fame after you die, but it's flipped on its head here. Billy has no one to mourn him. He's history. He just.. Does not exist anymore, and maybe someone’ll read his name, but he's just history. 

Shields himself from reason in a Kevlar baby-blue Tuxedo

Abraham sees Billy resisting his lessons. Fighting against him. “shielding himself from reason” but the kevlar (material typically used for bulletproof vests) means Billy really feels he needs to be protected. Which he does. Abraham sees him put up huge defenses to avoid “seeing reason” and only laughs at what they are, not considering what they're made of and why he might feel the need for that. 

Quilted from the finest fibers, flesh, and fiberglass, and flowers

Billy is “quilted.” Abraham is just taking out the parts he doesnt like and sewing other things on that he thinks looks better, which, of course, is only the “finest fibers, flesh, fiberglass, and flowers” all very different things and generally not things that are very great for this. 

His ego a mosquito, evil incarnate good incognito

Just. straight up “I hate my son” shit right here. Billy is a pest that Abraham dislikes, he thinks there's nothing good about him. That all the things that could be good (re. The parts Abraham likes) have gone “incognito” with his recent life. 

Pops placebos for libido, screaming, "Bless the torpedoes"

“Pops” could be like how people “pop” pills when they need to take medication. Placebo is an effect where your brain can sort of think something into existence, and libido is like. Your sex drive. Billy pops (takes like medication, so often. Also, to some degree, needs it) placebos (things he thinks are working / helping but really do nothing. Could be, in reality, following his fathers orders. Or, in the eyes of Abraham, his relationship with Caz and Suze) for his libido (in reality, he follows his father’s orders to “fix” himself, even though its not helping. To Abraham, Billy has got some fucked up thing going on with Caz and Suze to satisfy his libido. Also something about the oversexualization of gay men in here)

“Bless the torpedoes” Abraham sees Billy as embracing all of this shit that like. He thinks is going to destroy all their lives.

[wolame-o-ccx]

High&Low character dynamics I greatly enjoy

( but canonically they don't exist/have enough screen time/something along those lines )

Had this in my drafts for a while but took a while in getting around to actually posting it.

1 - Rocky + Hyuga

I'm throwing out the fact I ship them away from this analysis so it's like a more general thing.

Vague + indifferent is so interesting and not a popular trope but it works, and it works with them. It's also how they're so different and yet so similar at the same time. Had they become friends, I think they'd both try and sort of uncover things about each other, Hyuga because Rocky is mysterious in general and he isn't usually curious, but he is about Rocky and Rocky because Hyuga is just interesting (crazy) to him. They would have this dynamic where they're sort of mature? Around each other? If that makes sense IDK. They're serious, but casual at the same time.

When they're together, here'd be some kind of warm silence and it's quiet but not because they dont know how to talk to each other, but because they're simply comfortable with each other, like they trust each other.

Rocky accepts Hyuga's insanity (or passion, he calls it) and Hyuga enjoys Rocky's mellow sort of demeanor and finds comfort in him that way.

2 - Cobra + Rocky/Hyuga/Murayama

Cobra has touched all three of their lives some way or another. With Rocky, he was persistent and helped out in fighting against Doubt. Rocky must've gained a large amount of trust in Cobra after that. He even tells Cobra that he appreciated his help, and when does Rocky ever really compliment people, especially men? With Hyuga, I think he would think Cobra is tough and likes how stubborn he is and he respects that. After everything he's seen and experienced, he probably respects Cobra himself on a different level, and maybe even trusts him. And Murayama, we all know the story. Cobra made Murayama question and find himself. In the end, Murayama went to Cobra to talk after deciding that, oh, I'm done with fighting. I'm tired and I need to talk to a friend. I could honestly write a whole novel about them and I can understand why people ship them (though I don't myself). It's also the way all three of these guys were so worried about Cobra when he went missing and how they were looking for him so restlessly. Who needs therapy when you have Cobra?

3 - Hyuga + Murayama

I'm aware of them being a ship, and I somewhat enjoy it because I can see and understand why although I still prefer them platonically.

They're what you expect would be a loud duo, but they're not (not exactly) and it's interesting. Like, they'd totally bicker with one another and have dumb arguments and call each other stupid like siblings, but I also think they'd have those quiet moments where they're genuinely talking about serious stuff. Cobra had changed their perspectives in things they had problems with, Murayama and his immaturity (?) and Hyuga with his thirst for revenge, both ending up moving on from that and changing their views. I can see them casually hanging out and catching up with each other and giving each other life advice (yes, life advice from Hyuga, believe it or not) while simultaneously berating each other. They have a fun dynamic to think about and honestly wished they explored more on them because they're really interesting and equally complex.

4 - Hyuga + Sakyo + Ukyo + Kato

God Daruma makes me so UGH. These four are so silly. They're like.. genuinely such great friends I don't know how else to put it. I want them to have more screen time but I know I'll never get it. I can't put into words just how great of friends they are because they're so perfect, like, they're just.. great friends. They are so extremely loyal to each other and dedicated to each other that they make me want to explode into a million pieces. How even after “exacting their revenge on former Mugen members” mission, they stuck together because they found this sort of family with each other.

5 - Koo + SMG

I've seen the very miniscule part of the fandom somewhere talking about how Koo is like SMG’s mom and I love the idea so much 😭 just Koo taking care of these four guys like they're his kids. I like to think in DTC Rocky and Koo packed the lollipops they ate in the movie as if they were parents packing their kids’ lunch bags. I DONT KNOW ITS SO CUTE. SMG probably causes a lot of trouble for Koo so they'd kill anyone for him and Koo is just naturally protective, but especially for SMG.

[saturnine-saturneight]

15, 35, 85 for platonic asks? whichever character you like :)

Thank you for the ask!! :) I'm gonna do these for Haru, because she's showing up next in Reburial.

15. What’s a painful memory they have of their friends?

Just about every memory with Teo. Her relationship with him is just one big open wound. She had a crush on him, then Teo fucked up in a way that forced her to take over leadership of their group. She put her own feelings aside and started being strong for everyone, and it's made her grow very bitter.

Her last painful memory with him is the night that their entire friend group fell apart. She exploded at him in an argument, he got physical with her. Not a good night for any of them. Teo regrets it deeply.

35. Have they ever betrayed one of their friends? Why?

Haru has an iron moral code and personally thinks that she would never do this. However, her entire continued friendship with Rabbit is a betrayal towards Ron. Haru just always figures that Ron and Rabbit are egging each other on, and that Rabbit's real beef is with Nat, so Ron is just collateral damage. Also, somebody needs to keep tabs on Rabbit and make sure she doesn't hurt... Too many people.

85. What do they wish they could tell their friends, but haven’t?

Many, many things. Haru has a difficult time talking about her feelings. She never talked to anybody about what it was like to leave her sick father behind, and the few things that Ron has gotten out of her about her thoughts on Teo have not been nearly enough to be cathartic.

What she really needs is somebody completely uninvolved in the drama to talk to about it, somebody whose intellect Haru respects and who can give her a clear view on it. As of right now, she doesn't have this. I have a draft lying around about a character I haven't introduced here (Sven) who gets her to open up a little, even if he's not at all her ideal image of an unbiased cerebral outside perspective.

[ehghtyseven]

Do you have recommendations for what to do and see in Pittsburgh? And is it easy to get around by bus/subway etc?

anon I’m so sorry, I started replying to this at the airport on my way home then saved it to drafts and forgot to go back and publish, oops! anyway…

ok, please bear in mind I am just a person who has visited a few times so this is in no way exhaustive, and will obviously be coloured by how easy things are to get to without a car and things I personally find interesting!

presented in no particular order…

heinz history centre & sports museum

go for a wander through the strip district

fort pitt museum & point state park

national aviary (fun on its own but would thoroughly recommend the penguin encounter as an extra)

andy warhol museum

carnegie science centre (though I just went to a specific exhibit so I don’t actually know about the museum as a whole but I liked what I visited)

walk the three rivers heritage trail along the north shore & visit the mister rogers statue (and I always enjoy walking over one or other of the three sisters bridges to get across from downtown and back afterwards)

take a trip on the inclines (duquesne is the prettiest and has the best views of the city at the top but personally I like to go up the mon - when it’s not closed that is - walk along grandview then come back down via duquesne)

point of view sculpture (just a bit further along grandview from the duquesne incline)

pittsburgh has a couple of theatres so it’s always worth checking out what’s on during your trip, and pittsburgh has some great restaurants/bars to check out too.

also, not really a “thing to do” but I will never get tired of arriving via the fort pitt tunnel when coming in from the airport and downtown just explodes in front of you as you emerge!

there are some other places I haven’t visited yet but are on my list, including the zoo & aquarium, phipps conservatory, carnegie museums of art and natural history, the frick, and randyland.

on the second question, downtown & the areas close by are very walkable but I find it is pretty easy to get around on public transport, yes. PRT now has an app (ready2ride) that includes a journey planner and live trackers (amongst other stuff), lets you buy a range of different types of pass that you then use by just scanning your phone when you get on, and which covers buses, light rail and the inclines. as someone who lives in london and is used to just tapping my phone to travel on public transport, this was way easier for me than having to think about paying fares every time and took a lot of anxiety out of using buses!

the T (light rail) is also free between downtown and the north shore - all the stops between first avenue and allegheny - which is handy! I also think it’s neat that most bus stops have a QR code you can scan for live arrivals info, which also helps you check you’re at the right stop :)

[pumpkinmagekupo]

I like how you write Aymeric...can we pick him for your prompt list?

Things in the dark

I'll leave it up to you for trick or treat though :)

Thank you for the ask! I had to go with a treat ending (♡°▽°♡) I hope you enjoy it!

Stories of Lost Souls

Aymeric - Things in the dark - Treat

Aymeric yawned and set his quill down in its ink pot. “Another document finished..” he set the parchment to one side and looked to the never shrinking pile on the other side of his desk “and another few to go.” he sighed with a tired smile tugging at his lips “it never ends.” he leant back in his chair taking a moment to look away from the dreaded paperwork. The sun had long set and his office was dimly lit, only the light by his desk and the fireplace offered him any light. Pushing his chair back, he slowly rose to his feet. He should light some of the other lamps. As he looked up from his desk, he noticed a shape standing in the far corner of the room. Squinting to see if he could make sense of the shadow but it vanished in the blink of an eye.

“I truly must be tired.” he mused with a slump of his shoulders. As he moved away from his desk, something tugged at the bottom of his robes. Cursing under his breath, Aymeric turned to unhook robes on whatever they had gotten caught on but was greeted with a pair of shadowy hands latched tightly onto his robes. The hairs on the back of his neck bristled and he jolted away stumbling backwards into the wall. His heart pounded loudly in his chest.

Again he found the underneath of his desk empty.

Aymeric shook his head trying to rid himself of the foul things his eyes insisted he was seeing. Striding across the room to locate another lamp. A sudden draft tickled his fingers, he spun around poised and alert. 

His eyes scanned the darkness but he saw nothing. Sighing in relief he slowly began to turn but out of the corner of his eye he saw it. Long finger-like tendrils creeping over the back of his chair. 

He reached for Naegling but found his hip void of his precious sword. He had foolishly left it beside his desk. Watching the shadow hand intently, they stayed on his chair. Taking a deep breath he took a step forward ready to face whatever it was lurking in the darkness. Aymeric had only managed one step, a sudden overwhelming sense of dread washed over him robbing him of all courage and ability to move. 

The hands on the chair slid out of view like snakes and in the blink of an eye he felt a hand on his shoulder. The shadowy fingers rapping on his armour filling the room with soft and threatening little clinks. His heart was beating so fast it was going to explode. Aymeric managed to compose himself and lunged to the side and grabbed the floor standing candelabra and shouting loudly he swung it like a spear and sent the candles in the holders flying across the room. “Show yourself!” he demanded loudly. The shadowy figure appeared just beside the fireplace.

Aymeric cried out as the door to his opened. Light shone into his office banishing the darkness.. Lucia and Handeloup had heard the commotion and came running to the Lord Commander’s aid. “Are you alright?” Aymeric was still holding the candelabra as a spear, his ears burnt red as he released how foolish he looked. He cleared his throat and returned the candles to their rightful home. 

“Yes..I feel perhaps I should retire for the night. My eyes are deceiving me terribly.”

Handeloup chuckled “For the best Lord Commander.” Aymeric grabbed his sword and blew out the candle. The trio left the room. 

And once the room was swallowed in complete darkness an eerie scratching could be heard coming from behind the Lord Commander’s chair.

[star-spangled-bastard]

For Sacred Geometry: 8, 17, 23, 25, 29 👀

8. Did you cut something out of the outline or an early draft? What was it and why did you decide to cut it?

This wasn't a scene that got cut but in my notes I had originally thought about inserting more Board/Speak from Northmoor over time. Mainly this wasn't done because it wouldn't have worked for dialogue, even though it probably could have been done for narration. Another reason I didn't go with it is because we see it from him in one of the few in-game memos and it was from very early on. So he either adopted that style of drafting messages early on after meeting The Board and then stopped over the years, or he kept it up but still started doing that very early on. I would have preferred it as a slow, creeping build up of more and more Board/Speak over time as his powers progress. So I just abandoned the concept completely, aside from his one memo to Ash when he's still in the Foundation, because it's in line with what we see in-game and there aren't really any other written out messages in the plot.

17. Talk about the fic’s ending. Why did you end it where you did?

I really really considered ending it at chapter 14 with The Board's final message. But I wanted to tie up the plot line of Ash leaving instead of leaving that open. We know Darling became Head of Research in 1995 and what better time for Ash to decide he needs to retire than after All That happened. I think it was good closure.

23. How did you come up with the title?

This was the rare case of having the title before I even had an idea for the plot. I think I only had the concept "I need to write a fic about Northmoor's term, and probably his conflict with Ash" and knew that I would call it that. The Foundation DLC has so much emphasis on the geometric structure of the pyramid and the nail, as well as the ley lines in the House. I was thinking about Ash's tape that goes over all the uses of triangles in various symbolism. The combination of the concept of sacred geometry in nature, combined with Northmoor's view of The Board as some divine entity, and even Ash's reverence for the Foundation and Oldest House just kind of created the perfect storm.

25. Share your favorite line

Oh this is a tough one. Off the top of my head, this was one I really liked:

A tear of equal parts frustration and betrayal wells up in his eye, until it spills over and sizzles into vapor before it completes its arc down his cheek.

29. If you made a playlist, talk about the songs on it and share a link

Of course I made a playlist! Here's the link to the full thing. (I promise it's not all angsty. just. most of it.) Linking some highlights under the cut along with the reasoning

Curses by The Crane Wives is kind of uncanny in how well it fits the plot!

Change Your Heart of Die by The Midnight is like perfect "end of act 2" material (bonus reference to the Crossroads)

Sun Bleached Flies by Ethel Cain gets a mention because I listened to it so much while writing the scene where Northmoor confronts The Board in the Astral Plane. It really helped shape the tone of some of the later scenes. the line "god loves you but not enough to save you" hits hard.

Have to Explode by The Mountain Goats the context, the resignation of it all

Like a River Runs by Bleachers very applicable to the epilogue, despite its tone the grief is there

Each Coming Night by Iron and Wine this one really hit me recently. I had already finished writing the final chapters but it suits them

Long Long Time by Linda Ronstadt I'd never heard this song before and randomly came across it in recommendations while writing the final scene of Ash and Northmoor in the Maintenance sector and it instantly destroyed me emotionally

Fire in the Driveway by Soccer Mommy this was one of the first songs I had in mind for the tone of this story and it's interesting because it's another where the lyrics work extremely well. but over the course of writing the plot the dynamic between Ash and Northmoor becomes much less strained so it doesn't fit their dynamic as much by the end

Strangers by Ethel Cain this is the most appropriate final song I can think of in this case. The opening lines are just. damn. Second only to the line towards the end "don't think about it too hard or you'll never sleep a wink at night again" With lines like "my memory restricted to a polaroid in Evidence" like. I can't not associate it with what happened to Northmoor.