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jadelotusflower · 4 years ago

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It’s Cold in that Fridge: The Case of Nakari Kelen

Since The Case of Mara Jade has been doing the rounds again, I’ve finally gone back to this post that has been sitting in my drafts for literally years. So let’s honour this absolute badass who deserved better:

Once upon a time, the Star Wars universe was but six films (and a tv series) in the story of the Skywalker family. But beyond George Lucas’ story was an absolute boatload of books, comics, games, and other materials that made up the Expanded Universe. When Disney purchased Lucasfilm and the rights to the Star Wars saga, everything in this universe was decanonised and deemed “Legends” - some aspects of this universe were retained or re-purposed, others sit in Disney’s figurative vault and will likely never see the light of day (and seeing how the ST turned out, maybe that’s for the best).

But this transition between Legends canon and Disney canon was not so simple, because the nature of publishing meant that there were novels approved during the time of Legends canon that would be released in the time of Disney canon. In particular, there had been the planned trilogy “Empire and Rebellion”, set between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back, with each novel from the perspective of one of The Big Three.

Razor’s Edge (Leia) and Honor Among Thieves (Han) were released prior to the Great Canon Split of 2014. But while the Luke-centric novel had been planned, it was not due to be released until well after the Split. So Heir to the Jedi (so called as an homage to the Legends progenitor Heir to the Empire) became one of the first books of the Disney canon.

What does this background have to do with Nakari Kelen? Perhaps nothing, but I do wonder how the writing process was affected by the shift from Legends to Disney - was the novel a relic of the old EU with any reference the LFL storygroup didn’t like excised during editing, or was it a trendsetter for the new EU, a Sign of Things to Come?

The most salient point being, of course, that Nakari Kelen - like so many love interests before her - was not allowed to go along her merry way at the conclusion of the novel, but was shoved into the fridge.

If there was one constant of the Legends EU, it was that Luke Skywalker’s love interests couldn’t catch a break. Mara Jade naturally lasted the longest relationship-wise, with almost twenty years of marriage to Luke before some bright spark decided she had to go (as per the aforementioned case study). But before Mara there was Jem, Shira Brie, and Gaeriel Captison (who came close to escaping the curse), and in the Legacy of the Force series they brought back sole survivors Akanah and Callista, only to kill them off for good too (and rather brutally, if I may add).

So perhaps when Kevin Hearne began writing HttJ within the confines of the Legends continuity, he was merely sticking to the status quo, or perhaps once subsumed by Disney they needed to make sure Luke's slate was clean (so to speak). And I can’t put all the blame on Hearne since I don’t know whether it was his idea, or LFL mandated - but regardless it was a poor decision.

The root cause of fridging, imo, is limited imagination. How best to cause your male protagonist pain if not kill off someone they love, or at least have strong feelings for? The answer is of course, easily. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The Luke Skywalker of HttJ is fresh from his victory in ANH, a lieutenant in the Rebellion: young, not dumb, and full of...

Nakari Kalen is an absolute Queen a civilian volunteer and crack-shot sniper who loans her ship Desert Jewel to the Alliance. Luke is immediately attracted to her, they bond over a mutual love of fast ships and leaving behind desert home planets, and engage in the inexpert flirting of two nineteen year olds while also risking their lives several times over.

I want to make it clear: I actually really like this book. It's a breezy read, almost serialised as The Early Adventures of Luke Skywalker, and is ofttimes genuinely funny. And credit where it’s due to Hearne, many of of the supporting roles in the novel are female. Other than Nakari, there's Soonta, the Rodian who gives Luke her uncle’s lightsaber, Sakhet the Kupohan spy, and the Givin cryptographer/math genius Drusil Bephorin. In a genre where male characters are often the default for these kind of roles, it was nice to see, but makes the regressive fridging of Nakari even more egregious.

Luke and Nakari make a good team fighting brain-sucking monsters and Imperials, but more importantly they have fun together - she encourages him to work on his Force skills, and he successfully moves objects with his mind for the first time (leading to Nakari adorably dub him "a little noddle scooter"). It's a very sweet, if brief, relationship, and a respite from the danger of the mission. They spend the night together (leaving the reader to decide exactly what happened behind closed doors), and share a kiss before splitting up to try and escape bounty hunters. No prizes for guessing what happens to Nakari immediately after she received the Skywalker Kiss of Death.

I assume there were two motivating factors for why Hearne and/or LFL couldn't let Nakari live:

1. If she survived, fans would wonder why she doesn't appear in ESB/subsequent material.

I recall this bandied about on forums back at the time of the book's release, and to that I say - so what? Fans are always going to wonder, and try to paper over the gaps in canon, to make up their own headcanons to explain any any perceived inconsistencies. It's certainly no reason to kill someone off.

It is in fact possible for two young people to have a romance that just fizzles, or doesn’t work out for whatever reason - it should not require great maneuvering or explanation. If Nakari doesn’t show up in the next book in the timeline, what about it? The reader is smart enough to assume she and Luke broke up, decided to just remain friends, whatever. But it seems that the only way for a female character to exit stage left is for her to die, which is bullshit.

And actually, there's no reason why she couldn't have shown up again. ESB and RoTJ cover a month and a few days, respectively, of Luke's life - just because there was no mention of Nakari doesn't mean she didn't exist at that time, whether or not she and Luke were an item. She could have made an appearance in a subsequent novel, or Rebels, or the comics - she could have become a recurring character, showing up when the Rebellion needed her, or - heaven forbid - even have her own comic/book/show! Her existence in Star Wars canon didn't need to begin and end with Luke Skywalker, merely to service his plotline and backstory and abandoning the richness of her own.

No, the only reason Nakari had to die was to facilitate this:

It was a blow to the gut, realizing what that sudden absence meant. I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but I had felt Nakari's life snuffed out through the Force, and into that void where she had shone anger rushed in - anger, and a cold sense of raw power and invincibility...I took a step to join in the hunt but stopped, breathing heavily, unaccountably sweating even though I felt so cold inside and the power of the Force roiled within me... I shook with emotion and power, and none of it felt the way the Force had before...I saw what kind of space it was , a black hole that would always be hungry no matter how much I fed it. I might never feel warm again if I didn't get myself under control.

Luke feels the dark side and is tempted by the boost of power it offers him, but immediately identifies it as dangerous and unnatural. I can understand why Hearne wanted to include this - it is a book of firsts after all: Luke's first solo mission, his first time using telekenisis, and ending with story with his first experience of the dark side makes sense. But it wasn't necessary, which leads to:

2. How to push Luke to touch the dark side without killing someone he has romantic feelings for?

Also, obviously, shite of the bull (or nerf, if you prefer). Even if this brush with the dark side was absolutely necessary for the novel's climax, there's any number of ways it could be achieved. At this point, Luke is fresh from losing important people in his life - Owen and Beru, Ben, and Biggs - lumping another death on top of that a narrative trick for Luke to react not only to losing Nakari, but the others as well. But it's cheap, the first card in the deck, and why not show a bit of imagination? Luke is young and inexperienced enough at this point that any number of things could be the catalyst - the whole book he's struggling with his growing powers, why not try and reach too far in the firefight with the bounty hunters, his anger and frustration with himself in not doing enough trigger the dark side temptation? It would work thematically and doesn't involve a fridging that ultimately has very little payoff.

Because Nakari is killed less than ten pages from the end of the book - afterwards Luke grieves, but ultimately chooses to honour her memory and be grateful for what he learned with her, recommitting to becoming a Jedi. It's all very surface level, and once again a female character's death facilitates a male character's development. Was it so imperative that Luke lost someone he cared about as part of this story? Sure, this was a time of galactic civil war, and it's far from unrealistic that these stories have a high body count, but who to make collateral damage remains an authorial choice, and in this case Nakari Kelen was (a) a female character of color, (b) a love interest of the protagonist - not just of this book, but the entire Original Trilogy.

I don't know to what extent (if any) race had to play in the decision. I'm sure there was a segment of the fandom absolutely livid that Luke Skywalker kissed (and maybe had sex with) a black woman. Was her death LFL hedging its bets, or demonstrative of the general lack of attention/respect they show their characters of colour?

In any case this was a chance to stand out from the old EU and it's fridge full of Luke's dead girlfriends, but instead they chose to introduce and kill off Nakari for the sole purpose of Luke's manpain and character development, and that's gross.

And then there's this:

A grisly yet reliable fact about custom bounty hunter ships is that you can always count on them to have body bags stashed somewhere for the easy transport of their kills. They often have built-in refrigerated storage, too.

NAKARI IS KILLED AND LITERALLY STORED IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WAS READING.

I really hope this was unintentional on Hearne's part, because yikes. He was halfway there, this book was full of interesting female characters who had agency - Drusil in particular was a delight with her super math and inability to understand human interaction. Nakari was full of life and fun - capable but relatable, showing a different side of the Rebellion and those that suffered under the Empire's rule. Fridging her in her first appearance is considerably more vile, because it reduces her to a footnote of Luke's story, a plot device to Help Him Grow, rather than a springboard to tell more of her own story.

Because Nakari was a compelling character ripe for spinoff potential. I would absolutely have read or watched her continued adventures, juggling missions for her father's Biolabs company and trying to aid the Rebellion, shooting her slug rifle and cracking wise, maybe even finding a way to amplify her mother's song Vader's Many Prosthetic Parts to really stick it to the Empire, or try and free the political prisoners on Kessel.

The old EU was made great by allies and enemies of Our Heroes showing up again to help or hinder them, and/or branching out into their own material. We fell in love with them, and followed their stories even as they diverged from the main saga, eager to read more about their lives.

Nakari Kelen never got that chance. In many ways, she exemplified what Disney Star Wars was to become: an exercise in wasted potential.

#star wars #star wars meta #heir to the jedi #nakari kelen #luke skywalker #fridging #it's cold in that fridge #star wars expanded universe #nucanon

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gallavictorious · 4 years ago

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love your metas, so can i get your thoughts? i've always felt that personality wise, fiona/ lip are alike, and then ian/ debbie are alike. fiona/ lip are smart but often lost in what they want out of life/ what path to take. they both self sabotage and spiral in response to that. s4/ s9 fiona and s6/ s7 lip had similar arcs. they seem to need to receive romantic "love"/ validation, more than to give it, and can be selfish in that. but they are very giving when it comes to their family. [1/2]

[2/2] so anyways, whereas ian/ debbie very much want to give "love" as much as they want to get it, to the point that they always let any awful person who demands it, have it. kash/ ned/ caleb/ trevor/ matt/ derek/ the s10 2 ladies/ etc were all like that. (mickey being the 1 exception ofc!) they can be manipulated and therefore taken advantage of. but they work hard and take pride in that and know what they want (rotc/ emt and babysitting/ welding). but debs is selfish obviously, and ian isn't

Hiya nonnie! That's some very interesting thoughts right there, and a few I hadn't considered before! Let’s see...

I think you make a great point about Fiona and Lip both being smart but lacking a clear idea of how to translate that into a sustainable lifestyle, and they certainly do have a tendency to self-sabotage. In fairness, fairly often it's things outside of their control that derail them – which I think is a very good illustration of how much harder it is to ”make it” when you come from that sort of background. Even when they aregiven opportunities and try to capitalize on them, there's so very little margain for error; everything is always just one small step from collapsing, there's always something going on with their family that they need to deal with, and when things do go wrong, they mostly lack the resources (mental and financial) to respond in a good way. Their coping mechanisms are maladaptive as all hell, that's for sure, courtesy of their fucked-up upbringing. But yeah, quite apart from all that, I think Lip and Fiona have a habit to fuck things up for themselves by not doing great with stability in general. Rob's an asshole but not entirely wrong when he calls Fiona a chaos junkie, and Lip's issues with authority and alcohol don't exactly make things easier for him.

Additionally, I think that while Lip and Fiona are both capable of hard work – and for a long time they certainly work their assess off to take care of their younger siblings – they also have a tendency to look for quick fixes and easy outs? They're problem solvers and quick thinkers, and they had to be, to deal with the mess Frank and Monica have made of their lives, but I'd argue that this survival tactic has developed into a somewhat problematic predispotion to eschew slowly, steadily working their way towards a goal in favour of leaping on ”smart” deals and opportunities. Which isn't always bad, of course, but it has caused them a fair share of problems; consider, for instance, Fiona and her real estate escapades in season 9 and Lip's highly questionable choices in season 11. (I just watched 11x07 again and GOD do I want kick him in the nuts. I love Lip, but grow the fuck up, man. Tami is a bloody saint for being as patient with him as she is.)

In contrast, Ian and Debbie have a crazy strong work-ethic and are highly goal-oriented. They fix their eyes on the prize and they fucking go for it, putting in the hours and the work without hesitation or complaint. They are far less likely to look for short-cuts or screw themselves over because they get bored with the monotomy. That doesn't mean their path to success is a straight one, of course; Ian's bipolar has wreaked some proper havoc for him, and though she's succeed in both having a kid and a job she trained for, Debbie's narcissm is keeping her from developing the strong bonds (familial and romantic) that she so desperately craves. I think the difference between Ian and Debbie here is that Ian is genuinely looking for a partnership and a real connection (to such a degree that it sometimes leads him into highly unfortunate relationships) whereas Debbie thinks she wants that but isn't prepared to actually be vulnerable and perceptive to the other person's needs to such a degree that a real partnership becomes possible. She never, I feel, actually sees and knows her partners for who they are; she projects onto them her idea of what they should be like, and responds to that, not to them. It hasn't ended well, so far.

And I have to say that while Trevor (of whom I'm fond in spite of his flaws, so you'll find no hate for him on this blog) and (especially) Caleb have their issue I don't think it's fair to compare them to Kash and Ned. As for Matt and Derek, they may not be perfect, but I'd argue that Debbie treated them far worse than they did her. I mean, she did rape both of them. (Out of youthful ignorance, sure: it's still sexual assault. I do find it very interesting and quite encouraging that she obviously recognizes her own guilt in season 11.) By and large, Debbie has treated her partners worse than they have treated her, which is certainly not true of Ian. (Which doesn't mean Ian's a saint. Boy's got plenty of flaws, and he doesn't always treat his lovers perfectly – the cheating comes to mind – but in general he doesn't treat them badly at all; as you say, he is more likely to allow himself to be treated badly by them.)

Circling back to Lip and Fiona, I think you have a point in them craving the way their partners make them feel, but being less interested in having a partner to build a life with, if that makes sense? They aren't really looking for someone to share their lives and struggles with (which might be the resulf of them being used to having no one but each other to rely on for most of their lives); they want that high of being in love and in lust, and when things get a bit too steady and boring, they get restless. Jimmy was, admittedly, a big support for Fiona for a while, but it was quite one-sided: always on her terms. Lip might be coming around on that with Tami, though – possibly because she's assertive enough to push back against him and not let him get bored. Also, Lip (and Fiona) has shown himself to be far more devoted to kids in his care than to his partners, so I'm sure Freddie's existence is a major factor in him sticking it out with Tami even when things are hard. (Not to suggest he doesn't love Tami; I think that she's by far the best match for him on the show.) At the end of the day, I think that Lip and Fiona would enjoy someone properly at their side and in their corner – they just need to understand that that's something they can have, and that for it to work, they need to be in their partner's corner too. As I said, Lip might be on the way, though his unwillingness to solve problems together with Tami is worrisome; who knows what Fiona's up to in Florida; Ian's already got it, and as for Debbie... she knows she wants it, but not how to achieve it. For her, I think, the answer might be to reassess how important having a partner really is to her; does she truly want it, with all the compromises it inevitably entails? Then again, she's young yet; we were, I think, none of us very good at relationships at 20, and Debbie (and her siblings) has had a rougher go of it than most. She has time to learn.

This took... forever, nonnie, so I do hope you see this!. :o Can't say I expect my scattered and tentative musings to have been worth the wait, but I ended up having a lot of fun thinking about this, so here's to you finding something of value in there. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! <3 And as always, if anyone else wants to chime in you're more than welcome to; my ideas on this aren't very fixed, so I'd love to hear other or additional perspectives.

#the prize for being the Gallagher Least Bad at Relationships is getting to marry one mickey milkovich #congratulations to our worthy winner ian #no wonder he fought so hard for it... 😏#and oh would you look at that!#i answered an ask!#i am very excited about this!#so sorry for the wait nonnie this ask had me thinking a lot so i loved it #lip gallagher #fiona gallagher #debbie gallagher #ian gallagher #meta #asks #my stuff

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whosaysitsfantasy · 5 years ago

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Juke/Maddison & Charlie

So I just want to address something about Juke and then I’m literally not going to talk about it again, because I’ve seen a few posts about people shipping the actors and then people hating on the ship a little bit because of the age gap and it’s just been frustrating me so I wan’t to kinda get this out and then just get back to enjoying the show. Also Apologies if this upsets anyone but these are my opinions and you in no way have to agree with them I just ask that you read my thoughts fully before passing judgment and to please be respectful.

Here is what I think it is ok to do:

Shipping Luke and Julie together. Why? Because in the show they are both teenagers (16/17). I saw someone say it was kinda gross because the boys should be like 42? which I think is a little ridiculous because if they had lived sure they would have been 42 or w.e. but they didn’t... they died, and it is canon that to them no time has passed. What this means is that the boys are still mentally, emotionally and physically 17 years old. For this reason the characters are perfectly capable of being together and their biggest obstacle remains Luke being a ghost lol.

Here is what I think it is NOT ok to do:

Shipping Maddison and Charlie together in real life. Now I’m going to break down for you why this is gross and not ok and why saying “when she’s 18 he can date her” is also not ok.

A 16 year old and a 22 year old have two completely different maturity levels. A 16 year old can be mature absolutely but that doesn’t mean that they are at the same maturity level as a 22 year old. I’m 26 and I can tell you that my maturity changed DRASTICALLY between the ages of 16-24. I use to think I was very mature when I was 16. When I hit 22 and looked back at who I was I realized that I was not nearly as mature as I believed I was and now at 26 I can clearly see the differences in who I was as a person at these ages. I can guarantee that most people (if they’re self aware enough) would agree that their maturity level was completely different as a teenager then it was once they hit their twenties. A lot of this has to do with the simple fact that in your 20′s you’ve typically gained more life experience through jobs, and relationships and higher education your brain has also developed more. Now. Maddison is definitely mature for her age in no way am I claiming she isn’t however it is still very obvious through different interviews and lives I’ve seen of her and of Charlie that they are not at the same level. Mentally, emotionally, physically.They definitely have more of a brother/sister friendship. It’s clear that they care about each other and they can of course get a long as friends but friendship and an intimate relationship are two completely different things. Maddison and Charlie’s maturity’s work fine as a friendship but if you were to factor in intimacy and romance it quickly becomes problematic. Some people might still think that the maturity levels don’t matter. I’m here to tell you it does.

While I don’t think that Charlie would be the type of guy to ever pressure a girl he is with, that doesn’t mean that the pressure would not still exist. If they were to hypothetically date Maddison could easily feel pressured into participating in things she might not really feel ready for like certain intimate acts, parties ect because she want’s to please her partner or because she might feel like this is what she SHOULD be doing rather then doing what she is emotionally and mentally ready for. That pressure can easily influence someone of a young age who hasn’t had many experiences into doing things they eventually regret or doing things that end up having a negative impact on their mental health and the way they view themselves or even how they view healthy/unhealthy relationships down the line. Now Maddison seems smart and has a good support system but your support system can’t protect you 24/7 in an intimate relationship no matter how hard they try which is why a lot of teenagers end up going through something that they end up wishing they hadn’t done because they didn’t know any better. To also say that he can just “wait” for her to turn 18 is just predatory and gross and suggests that it’s still ok to pursue someone of a young age so long as you wait till they are legal which it is not that still means you wanted to be with a minor even if you wait till they are 18.

Also it is important to note that an actors personal life is NONE of your business. An Actors job is to perform in the show/play/movie that they have been hired to perform in and to then promote that project. That’s it. That is all they owe you and anything else is entirely up to their discretion. You are not owed information about their personal lives and you are not owed a say in who they date. If you like two actors who are dating and you think they are cute that’s fine, if they are sharing their relationship and you want to support it that is fine but you have to understand boundaries. I’ve seen fans overstep in a LOT of fandoms (one example being Lili and Cole from Riverdale) where they attack other people for being close to the people in the relationship or they bother the actors to update them about their relationship ect. It’s disrespectful and it’s honestly not your place regardless of if they have shared information about a relationship previously. It’s also not cool to try to pressure the actors into dating, you don’t know what they are actually like irl you have no idea if they are actually compatible you do not have a full picture of the situation and for that reason your opinion should be kept to yourself.

Finally I want to address the whole Luke & Julie kissing issue because I totally understand why people are a little uncertain about it due to the age gap. Now normally I’d be a little put off by it but I am actually ok with the idea of Luke and Julie kissing on screen and I’m just going to list off quickly below why I think it’s ok and why I wouldn’t get upset if it happened.

1. It is very clear that Maddison’s family (specifically her dad) are very involved with Maddison and her job on JATP. Mr.Reyes is often shown on set with her at rehearsals and during shooting. He was there when they practiced the perfect harmony dance which I personally thought was kinda intimate. I feel better about it because I know she has a strong support system who will be there to ensure that if a kiss DID happen she would be safe because she has her family looking out for her on set.

2. Much like above both Kenny and Charlie are very respectful people who very clearly have a lot of respect and love for Maddison. I also don’t think they would ever put Maddison into a position she was uncomfortable with. If a kiss DID happen I am sure there will be a lot of conversations about it and it would be done in a respectful healthy way.

3. This is a job. They are not kissing because they like each other in real life they are not pursuing anything romantically. They are performing a job that they are being paid for in front of a group of people also performing a job. This for me helps me feel less gross about it because even though they are actually kissing it’s not a ‘real’ romantic kiss. It’ll be a staged one that they have gone over and discussed at length with Kenny.

4. This is a Kenny Ortega project. The show has very clearly established that the relationships are about more than physical intimacy. IF we get a kiss between Julie and Luke we are not going to get more then a PG rated kiss.. hell probably more of a G rated kiss. Not only because this is a project by Kenny but because the actors are different ages. It is also unlikely that we will get more then one maybe two kisses a season. I personally don’t think they’re going to make them kiss in season two I think it might happen if we get season 3 but I would still be ok with a season 2 kiss because again it will probably be very simple and very respectful especially cause it’ll also probably be Julie’s 1st kiss. If they were to have them make out or something that would be when I would feel uncomfortable, but that just doesn’t seem like Kenny’s vibe. He’s worked with a lot of young actors and it’s not like they’re going to french kiss or something. Kissing is intimate of course but a small closed mouth kiss is honestly pretty innocent in my opinion especially if done correctly. So it doesn’t bother me much.

5. Finally by the time they get around to filming a season 2 or 3 Maddison will also be a bit older (17 or 18) hopefully so she will also be at an age where it will feel more comfortable for her.

So in conclusion: shipping Juke good, shipping Maddy & Charlie bad and wanting Juke to kiss is acceptable so long as they do it appropriately which from what I’ve seen of the cast and the crew I believe they would. I personally have a lot of faith in the creators of this show it’s clearly a very healthy supportive environment and I trust that they know what they are doing.

Again these are my personal opinions but I felt like some people weren’t really looking at it from a completely logical standpoint but more of an emotional one which is understandable because its a very serious subject matter and it could very well also be a trigger for many people who’ve gone through something similar. I just needed to get all that off my chest cause this kind of thing can breed negativity in fandoms and thats why I don’t participate in them anymore. and listen if this was a different show with a different cast and crew and creator and they had a 16 year old and a 22 year old kissing I would probably find it more unsettling but I think one of the reasons why we all love this show so much is BECAUSE it is so healthy and because the cast are so involved and vocal about the show. I have no doubt in my mind that Maddison would have the space to speak up if she was uncomfortable and I have no doubt in my mind that Kenny and her family would make sure she was safe.

So anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk and please if you disagree that’s totally ok just don’t be hateful, I’m happy to have discussions but I won’t tolerate rudeness cause at the end of the day it’s a show and it’s out of our hands and I’m not saying you have to agree with me. This is just how I feel about these issues.

Ok thanks bye <3

#Jatp #Julie and the phantoms #Juke #Julie and luke #Julie molina #Luke patterson #maddison reyes #charlie gillespie #Just my opinion you don't have to agree #please just be respectful

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heartbreaknow · 5 years ago

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So I wrote this ridiculous meta. It’s long, guys, it’s long. I wrote most of it like a year ago, but a discussion on discord made me decide to add a couple of paragraphs and actually post it.

I know meta isn’t really en vogue anymore (lol, was it ever?), but what the hell. If you enjoy deep-dives into Tony Stark’s hot mess of a psyche, it’s possible you’ll enjoy—

Tony Stark as Sisyphus (& The Tranquil Summit of ‘I’m A Good Person’)

Okay, so here’s what I think:

I think Tony Stark has a high (and largely accurate) estimation of his own value, i.e. what he’s accomplished and what he can do. He’s a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, superhero, and he knows it. But I don’t think Tony really sees himself as a good person or believes that he deserves to be liked and cared about for who he is. I am 100% convinced that inside Tony Stark’s mind is a subconscious narrative that goes:

1. If people don’t value me they’re idiots who aren’t worth wasting time on.

2. If people don’t care about me, they’re smart; caring about me is a bad move that will erode quality of life over time.

Basically, I think there’s this weirdly paradoxical thing that happens, where, whenever Tony does something incredibly heroic and brave and selfless, he attributes the thing he’s done to his value, but not to his goodness. A psychologically healthy person would recognize they’d done a good thing, and each time it would incrementally reinforce their sense of themself as a good person. But Tony, who is not such a psychologically healthy person, fails to identify and attribute his actions correctly. In his mind, the thing he did was valuable, perhaps necessary, probably important. But his understanding of his own actions largely bypasses goodness.

Which kind of ends up creating a bit of a negative feedback loop whereby he has to be heroic just to break even. Because subconsciously, he’s not a good person doing good things. He’s a dubious person doing necessary, valuable things. If he stops doing the necessary valuable things…what’s left?

On a conscious, surface level, he is aware the things he does are good, but I think he’s so unpracticed at linking the idea of goodness with his own self-identity that he tends to almost discount goodness where his own actions are concerned. Like, if you asked him if he thought he’d done a good thing by saving a bunch of people from plummeting to their deaths, he’d be like, “Yeah, of course, saving lives is kind of the superhero MO.” But it’s just words. His psyche doesn’t know how to make use of that. In fact, even here in this little hypothetical projection I just did, he’s deflecting away from goodness in favor of efficacy and necessity.

So all of the good things he does just reinforce the schism in his psyche whereby he has a well-supported sense of his own value, but any sense he has that he is good is as thin and unsupported as a house of cards. It’s kind of like a sibling to impostor syndrome, where a very competent person doesn’t attribute their competent actions to the fact that they are competent, but instead attributes their competent actions to any number of other factors, such as luck, other people’s help, or that it was actually easy and if it hadn’t been easy they would have failed. Except in Tony’s case it’s not his competence his psyche doesn’t know how to reinforce, it’s his sense of his own goodness as a person.

Tony’s subconscious says: you don’t do good things because you’re good. You do them because you have to. Because what kind of a person would you be if you didn’t? Because you’re trying to be better. Because you need to atone. You do good things to mitigate your badness. You do selfless things to mitigate your selfishness.

If someone accused him of being a bad person, he could, and might, defend himself by listing any number of extremely good things he had done. But because he hasn’t internalized them properly, the defense would feel hollow and flimsy to him—despite it actually being a sound defense. Which is why, instead of defending his goodness, he’s a lot more likely to say, “Yeah yeah, selfish asshole. Got it. But I’m a selfish asshole who can pull us out of the fire.” Because that he has internalized: he is valuable. He can do things no one else can.

(Side note: I think this is part of why some people perceive Tony as being a narcissist with a huge ego. They assume he thinks highly of himself, and is extolling his own virtues when he calls himself a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. “Shallow bragging,” they think. But he’s not extolling his virtues. He’s giving his resume: This is my value.)

And I think he just kind of goes through life that way, relying on his sense of his own value to be enough, to get him through, without some kind of psychological collapse. And it mostly works. He is very valuable; it’s enough to get by on. I mean, he’s saved the planet how many times? And the technological advances he’s provided society over the last decade are hard to overstate. And he funds the Avengers almost single-handed. So yeah, damn right he’s valuable.

But no matter how strong his sense of his own value is, it’s ultimately a shell. I’m not saying it’s worthless, because it’s very much not. Feeling valuable is a really great thing for anyone to have as part of their self-identity. But the bottom line is that it’s not who he is; it’s what he can offer. It’s one abstraction removed from the core of self-identity. And what’s encased in that shell of value is a person who doesn’t really like himself or trust himself, because he hasn’t properly internalized all the reasons he should.

Also, do I need to mention that his Iron Man suit (a literal shell he literally built and literally uses to give aid and protection) is the perfect extension of the schism between who he is vs. what he can do for the world? (It’s also a perfect extension of the way he conflates who he is with what he can do for the world.)

What’s interesting is that in Iron Man 3, he proves to himself that he’s still Iron Man, with or without the suit. Which is a positive, empowering affirmation for Tony, and the movie kind of plays it as the ultimate breakthrough in self-actualization—but it doesn’t actually address the underlying schism in his sense of self. It doesn’t bridge the disconnect between “I am a valuable person to the world” and “I am a good person within myself.” All it does is prove to Tony that he is able to be valuable even when he’s alone and suit-less. He feels less afraid by the end of the movie because he’s proven that the suit is not the source of his empowerment. However, his self-identity is still kind of a mess. He just feels more certain of his ability to self-generate the side of that mess which he sees as valuable.

Another thing I want to note is that I don’t actually think Tony’s difficulties with internalizing a sense of personal goodness spring from the fact that he used to design and sell weapons. I definitely think his years of designing and selling weapons negatively affect how he feels about himself, but I think his issues with self-identity began a lot earlier in life, with a father who “never told Tony he loved him; never even told Tony he liked him.” Young Tony was probably often reprimanded for his badness but rarely praised for his goodness. And when he was given any sort of approval as a child, it was probably most often for making himself useful in some way (I’m picturing Howard saying, “Don’t just stand there like a simpleton; help your mother.”) Though as he got older he probably also discovered intelligence, drive, and ingenuity would get him places. Thus creating a mentality where “bad” was the default; “good” was out of reach; useful, intelligent, and driven were the best you could do; and accomplishment was currency.

So if anything, I think the causation goes in the opposite direction: Tony’s years of designing and selling weapons did not cause his estrangement from a sense of his own goodness. Rather, his pre-existing estrangement from a sense of possible goodness was part of what made him willing to design and sell weapons. It’s certainly much easier to disregard the ethics of your pursuits when you’ve never really believed yourself to be a good person anyway. When you are in fact so estranged from the notion of what it means to be good that you’re honestly not sure how you would achieve it or even what it would feel like.

It also is a big part of why he’s more prone to “ends justify the means” thinking than some of the other Avengers. The concept of goodness is more abstracted for him. When Cap is faced with a problem, for example, the first thing he mentally reaches for it his ethical compass; he trusts it will guide him. Whereas Tony’s ethical compass isn’t a tool he’s particularly comfortable using; it’s unreliable. When something is wrong, when there’s a threat, Tony reaches for his drive and intelligence to make the wrong thing right, to neutralize the threat. On a gut level, Tony believes that making the wrong thing right, neutralizing the threat, equals good—and drive says the means which get you to the good result are good means. Compared to Cap, for whom the end result is secondary. Good people use good means to try to stop bad things from happening. The good is in the trying, not the result. (Tony: We’ll lose. Steve: Then we’ll do that together too.)

Obviously Tony does not consciously believe good results always equal good means. But it’s harder for him to determine when his means are bad, because he has such a messy relationship with his ethical compass. If he didn’t mistrust it, he’d find it was a perfectly functional and admirable ethical compass. But he can’t trust it, because he doesn’t truly believe he’s a good person in the first place.

What’s interesting, though, is that he keeps trying. Ironically, when it comes to being a good person, he doggedly practices Steve’s approach. He keeps trying to do enough good to outweigh his perceived failings, regardless of the fact that it’s a Sisyphean task because his psyche never internalizes it properly. He keeps trying anyway, with no real belief that there’s some tranquil summit of “I’m a good person” for him to reach. He keeps trying, because that one thing, at least, he’s sure is right. Which is really what makes him heroic.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#tony stark #tony stark meta #tony stark's psychological issues #steve rogers #remember to add a big old IMO to this entire thing #nobody reads meta #and i understand why #it's not my favorite thing to read either #but i always end up writing it anyway #because i'm a masochist i guess?

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flightofaqrow · 5 years ago

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Meta: Road to Recovery

OKAY SO

Yesterday, @ littleblackqrow made this excellent post about Qrow hitting rock bottom in vol 6, [< that’s a link to it, my blog isn’t always great with identifying that] which breaks down:

Him being forced to literally face the consequences of his actions in regards to drinking.

Him not dealing with frustration or lack of direction well.

The rising tensions of his interpersonal relationships, people starting to lose patience with and call him on his bs, especially as he gets worse.

How important his relationship with Ruby is and not wanting to put that at risk.

Beautiful. The good stuff. Go read it if you haven’t.

But I also present to you another nuance that affected his descent and ultimate decisions: a complete blowout identity crisis.

This got long so I’m going to try and separate it into phases.

I. Loss of Identity

"I gave my life to you because you gave me a place in this world. I thought I was finally doing some good."

When Ozpin’s secret is revealed, Qrow’s reaction is to believe his entire purpose for the last 20+ years was working towards something that was never really a complete plan and probably doomed from the start. None of it mattered: The work STRQ put in. His choosing the opposite side of his own sister. Losing Summer. All the spying, fighting. The whole idea of having huntsman to begin with and all the effort he put in to be one of the best. All of the things he didn’t do instead.

In one fell swoop he loses his whole identity.

On top of finding out one of his most trusted people not only kept secrets, but lied to him - someone he’s likely stood up for and defended with bared teeth and is now finding out those other people were right. On top of what is still coming that has to be faced and all the lives in danger.

Ruby is right to be worried he won't take it well. Who would?

II. Rock Bottom

It's why even the apathy scene where he knows he fucked up isn't enough. The whole situation still feels hopeless. He still feels empty. Oh, and let's add on finding out his own hero and inspiration was one of the ones who gave up and ran away.

[Aside: When they were riding in the cart and Maria said “especially when some of you are clearly stronger already” I’m pretty sure that included Qrow. Look at him through her eyes! A huntsman 40+ who’s dedicated his whole life to the occupation, and even though it’s clearly taken a toll and he struggles, he’s still out there fighting the good fight to the bitter end like you’re supposed to!! She can’t be only talking about the young ones being skilled.]

So rock bottom hits.

But.

"If you think you can keep up with us kids, we’d be happy to have you."

Eventually we have the scene where Ruby stands up to him and offers him a new place at her side. She’s too smart for her own good. Even if it’s subconscious and intuitively, she knows what he needs. Maria’s still there, too. Still means something to him, and she reinforces this idea, coaxing him to make better choices:

"Guess you didn't give her enough credit either."

The seed’s been planted, but he's still too stuck in his own head and guilt to see it yet.

III. Breaking Down and Building Back Up

This finally culminates in his breakdown when the airship abduction plan starts falling apart:

“Every choice I've ever made has led me here, and I've dragged you along with me. Oz, myself, the others... We're responsible for the mess the world's in now. I shouldn't have come, shouldn't have let any of you come... What was I thinking?!”

Hopefully, this hits a little bit different now. It’s not just semblance-based guilt or even recognizing his recent failings. It’s everything crashing down around him. Literally every choice he’s made.

But then Ruby absolves him. [wow look at what can happen when you actually talk about stuff.] She steps up as her own person and a full on leader for the group, and finally, finally frees him from everything up until now; even this self-imposed intermediate job of being the responsible adult. And then once more reminds him of who he is and that there is still a fresh start to be his own person. She uses his full name for a reason.

“We could still use Qrow Branwen on our side.”

So he chooses to join the fight. Because of course he does.

He’s Qrow Branwen.

The huntsman who does what’s right.

IV. Staying Sober

So when all is said and done, and they’re winding down from the battle, and he goes for a drink, it isn't just not wanting to worry Ruby that stops him. He can’t even see her face. [Although, saying "just don't go giving me heart attacks like that again" aloud does, I think, finally cause the immediate flash of insight / irony that Ruby probably feels the same way about him, and is definitely a factor]. It's not even him confronting or atoning for his actions.

No, this moment is him making the transition from being Oz's spy (when it was all fun and games and he could get away with stuff because he was that good and worked alone), to realizing that if he's going to take on this new role as a committed support for RWBY + ORNJ (in a deadly war with uncertain and changing tactics, against an unkillable being), then, I need to be sharper. I need to be more present. I need to be a better me.

This is him looking right down the mouth of his flask and deciding for himself to leave it in the past with Ozpin and his own former identity, and to instead move forward and grow alongside everyone else.

Yesterday’s post made the beautiful observations of Ruby’s expressions during this scene, but let’s look at Qrow.

[I’m busy having a personal crisis, don’t touch me.]

[Well, I guess it’s okay.]

V. Bonus Round

And let me point out that once more, at the end of the battle, Maria reinforces him, this time by validating his performance in this new standby and support function. [Which is also probably closer to what he was used to being in STRQ, and more comfortable for him.]

“You weren't half bad yourself today, Qrow.”

This is self indulgent but I’M ADDING IT ON BECAUSE THIS SCENE BLOWS MY MIND, OK!! ALL WITHIN 40 SECONDS WE SEE:

Qrow being validated.

Qrow talking about his feelings.

Qrow accepting a compliment with poise.

Qrow genuinely relaxing and smiling.

BECAUSE OF MARIA!!!!

VI. Some extra asides

1. I think this all is part of why we see such a spike of bird form in vol 6 as well. Besides just making more sense than other battles maybe, since it’s something at a cliffside and tall forest, it's all he has left at that point. Ozpin and prior orders lost his respect. He lost the group's respect. He's already given the kids all the information he has. He's barely feeling useful as a huntsman. But here [man, the hope and pride in his voice when he says "you're not the only one who can get a bird's eye view" !!], here is this one thing that's special that he can still do and offer that no one else in the group can!! So he relies on it a little more than he normally would just to feel worthwhile.

2. SEE SECTION V - CLOVER YOU ABSOLUTE DOLT. Qrow’s already demonstrated all the things you’re trying to say he needs to work on. HE’S ONLY DEFLECTING AND FLUSTERED BECAUSE IT’S YOU SAYING THE THINGS!!! I don’t understand how the ship isn’t approached more from this direction instead of wanting Clover to be that development for him, but I always tend to handle ships differently I guess.

3. Expanding on that, Clover helped him have a fresh start with a new person to start feeling out this new self, and maybe work through some baggage. But I really think Qrow and this decision is stronger than to relapse much, if any, over the loss of him. I don't think he blames himself as much as some seem to believe either (yet another separate post), but even if he ends up with a bunch of guilt in vol 8, going sober was never about any resolution of his semblance or friend troubles. BUT at the same time stress is still stress so we'll see.

I feel like Nora running out of breath, bless you if you stuck with this the whole way.

#rwby #qrow branwen #rwby meta #rwby volume 6 #long post #* behind closed doors = ooc *#* gotta look inside / a little introspection = character development *#* hey don't get mad cause i'm right = headcanon *#* legends and stories; some of them true; some made up = meta *

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galaxyofstories · 5 years ago

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Just ‘cause we can, does that mean we should? - An Altered Carbon (S1&S2) Review

Stories of immortality, the fountain of youth, and shapeshifting are throughout our stories. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde explores the idea of staying young and the corruption of the soul. From Bram Stoker's Dracula to every other vampire story told we see those ideas played out repeatedly. These ideas even come up in folklore from around the world. So needless to say, humanity has always wondered about immortality, youth, and shapeshifting.

Before we start, I have some questions for you. You don't need to answer them, instead, think about them. I mean really consider what it would mean.

What if we could live forever? If death is a part of life, and death is removed, is that really life? But what if there was still a possibility of death, but could technically (under the right circumstances) live forever, would birth and eventual death even matter? What if we could change our faces? Our bodies? If we can change our bodies, should we still worry about illness and disease? If we can change what we look like and we can live forever, does money and power still dictate us? What would humanity be like? How would we change with time as a species? As individuals? Would it be worth it? Does anything matter if our physical does not matter? Just because we can, does that mean we should?

This is Altered Carbon's universe. Humanity has moved beyond Earth (in fact, I think Earth is mentioned only once... and it's pretty far into the series) and we have found a way to become basically immortal. Cool, right?

There are spoilers approaching. Get Ready.

You're immortal, as long as you don't get your stack busted. The stack holds everything that makes up a person (experiences, memories, feelings, thoughts... everything). Stacks can be moved from sleeve (body) to sleeve with very little consequence. Well... That is if you're a Met, a rich person. And the poor... Well... If your stack is intact, you're still a live, but not physically there. Sometimes the poor can afford to rent a sleeve, but the series hints that even renting is a luxury. So what now? We don't die unless our stacks are destroyed, and we can look like anybody we want to look like. What do we do as a species?

Do we socially evolve? Yes and no. Yes: No longer is skin color a factor in a person's worth. Which, honestly, is really fucking awesome. You can go from being born Japanese/Russian to being a Caucasian guy to being a black guy. Since anybody can look like anybody, racism isn't a problem. Yay! Since racism isn't a problem, we see diverse families and relationships. So, point for AC! However, I did wonder what that means in reality. I'm sure there were people complaining about changing the main character's race from Asian descent to Caucasian. I understand why it is a problem when this does occur in other stories, but the changing of race is part of the series. It again, shows that in AC's universe you can look like anybody! I wouldn't have been upset if they stayed with an Asian actor for the whole series, but the dramatic change just drives home that race isn't important in AC.

No: Humans have not socially evolved as far as the economic classes are concerned. There is still a "1%" which holds all power and all the money and they still only care about themselves. The poor are nothing to them. There is no problem, unless it threatens them or their way of life. I'm glad this was in the series because it makes AC's idea of a future more realistic as a possibility for us. Granted, it's more than likely not going to happen, especially with the fact that we haven’t even been to Mars... Mars is 106 million miles away, but C'MON! In the 60s they thought we would have colonies all across the galaxy! Or at least on the Moon. In all honesty, I'm disappointed that we aren't even living on the moon in this day 'n' age. That's beside the point. The point is, the idea some people have that they are better than other people persist even in a universe where none of that should matter. Maybe the creator was hinting at the idea that greed and lust of/for power is a part of the human condition.

Has the human condition changed? No, besides the fact that in the previous paragraph I basically said it does not, there's another example. In AC, as humanity spread out in the galaxy seeking new home planets, we did what humanity historically does... We assumed we were more important beings. Killed indigenous life. And stole their secrets and their lands. Humanity might not be a lot of things, but we are damn predictable. Woo!

Oh. And by the way, just in case you were wondering, sex still sells. In fact, I'm pretty sure it’s one of the main industries on many planets in AC. And it's actually a large part of the first season's story line. Without it, there would have been no motivations for certain characters to do the things they did and the whole season would be like three episodes. With that being said, in season 2 there is less sex. So, at multiple times while watching season 2 I had to wonder, just for a hot minute, if the show's writers and creator added all the sex and nudity just to get their show sold on Netflix. Upon reflection, I decided that yes, some of the sex and nudity (seriously halfway through the first season you see multiple breasts, butts, vaginas, and 1 penis) but I also really think it was an important aspect to the story.

Are you guys ready for my opinion about the show?

If you haven't guessed it, I really enjoyed it!

I didn't think I would like it at first. Sex and nude bodies within minutes of the first episode of shows usually don't grab my attention. Like, I came here for a story! Not soft porn! (Which is why I never got into True Blood despite the fact I love vampiric stories!) However, I love stories that are intricate webs. Almost like spiderwebs. If you touch one thread, the whole web vibrates. And that is what Altered Carbon is. It is a complicated web of mystery, interesting characters, and emotions.

For some, it could be hard to get into because it is so complicated and honestly a bit weird, but if something isn't complicated and weird is it really worth the time?

I also really liked this show because the cast is very diverse!

So all those hypothetical questions I asked at the beginning are questions that I feel like Altered Carbon is trying to answer through the story of Takeshi Kovacs. He's been away from the world for more than two centuries. Hired by a Met to solve the Met's death, which is the main mystery and even though it seems like an obvious whodunit, it is more complicated than it seems. And so is Takeshi.

He's not just a fantastic martial artist and weapon's expert. He is a brother, a friend, and a lover. (And let’s be honest, crazy attractive no matter the sleeve!)

Thinking back, none of the characters are one dimensional. Each one has their own motivations, past, and does the one thing that is important in storytelling, each one grows (whether good or bad). I’ll do a bit about some of the characters, but not all.

Takeshi Kovacs When we first meet him, he’s a dick that hallucinates. I mean, he’s always a dick, but we don’t know why he’s such a dick or why he hallucinates (my money had been on the drugs…). He just wants to find a place to lay his head, maybe get his rocks off, and drink. That’s all he is in most of the first episode. By the end of the first episode you’re left wondering who the hell this guy is! And why the hell is he such a good fighter even though he hadn’t been in the physical plain for more than two centuries! As the series progresses you learn bits and pieces here and there. By the end of season 1, you know who he is. He is Takeshi Kovacs, The Last Envoy.

Kristin Ortega My first thought was either she needed to hop on that dick or go fly a kite. Honestly, I don’t like that that was my first impression of her. She grew on me a lot. In fact, her storyline brought the religious aspect into the story. If we can live forever, would God be okay with that? It was really interesting to me to think about that. Anywho, back to Kristin… There are times that I think her character gets away with more than she should, but again, it fits in well with the whole plotline of the show.

Quellcrist Falconer THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE. HBIC! UGH!!!! She is so cool!!!! I love this character so much! A little less in season 2 because she doesn’t come off as strong as she does in season 1, but it is explained why she’s not as boss bitch. Aaaannd, it’s understandable. But seriously! She is really really awesome! Leader of a rebel cause, extraordinary fighter, master of her world… SO GREAT. And honestly she has some of the best philosophical one liners.

Poe Probably the most human out of all of them. I really enjoy the character. He’s sweet, kind, and smart.

Reileen Kawahara I’m going to let you decide. I haven’t decided for myself yet. Jaeger A fucking asshat. I’m just going to leave it at that. So, this is where I will stop (partially because I've been working on this for days and I just want it posted!) The main takeaway is that IF YOU LIKE STORIES THAT ARE DEEP, COMPLICATED, AND WEIRD WATCH THIS SHOW!! YOU WILL BE SO GLAD YOU DID! And please let me know what you thought of it! I would really love to talk about this show more! If I think of anything else to add I shall post again! Thank you!

#altered carbon #ac #gos review #netflix original #shows

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mormonhippie · 5 years ago

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My book!BMC Character Analysis of Christine

I know book!Christine is getting a lot of hate. And some of it I think is deserved: her first interactions with Jeremy were pretty rude. But like, I think there might be a whole side to her we're missing out on. The story is first person POV, so it's kinda hard to pick up on exactly what the deal is with the secondary characters. And I guess that's kinda the point of the book: people are more complicated than you might think they are, they're a force to be contended with, and attempt to manipulate them at your own peril.

Given that premise, I can't help but notice some things that keep coming up for Christine and Jeremy in the story that kinda explain where she might be coming from and why she behaves the way she does:

( **Warning: spoilers for the Be More Chill Novel below**)

▪Christine and Jeremy have a similar need to bring order into their social lives: Christine through her "system of stages" for relationship classification, Jeremy through his "Humiliation Sheets".

▪Jeremy is a loser raised by cool parents.

▪Christine is a cool person raised by nerds.

▪Jeremy is wired into what other people are saying about him and about each other. To the point of it being an obsession at the beginning of the story.

▪Christine is described as being in her own bubble, seemingly unconcerned with what other people think of her. (Until Jeremy inadvertently makes the assertion that she should, at which point she becomes resentful.)

▪Christine believes intelligence is correlated with success. ("Successful people are always smart.") Jeremy points out an exception ("My dad's pretty sucessful. He's an idiot.")

▪Jeremy assumed Christine is going out with Jake because of his social status, but she later tells him that his success as a student and leader was only one factor that attracted her to him: she was drawn to him because he's a writer (of journals).

This is where I kinda go into speculation/headcanon territory, but it makes her character make more sense and it's loads of fun:

1) Its possible that being raised by nerd parents reinforced in Christine the concept that social standing shouldn't matter as much as it does. Intelligence should matter, competence should matter. And the fact that her father's intelligence and competence have not been rewarded is supremely unfair to her.

The idea that what other people think is of suprime importance is something Jeremy (a kid raised by "cool" parents) takes for granted. Even when he recognized that it puts people into unfair situations, he's quick to dismiss it as 'that's just the way the world works'.

2) Jeremy's mom (the parent he seems to most identify with) is a successful lawyer. Quick with words, encouraging and supportive, but not necessarily the most perceptive when it comes to the emotional needs of her family members. Jeremy clearly wants to talk to her about some of his problems at school and tries to invite a more personal interaction, but she's too preoccupied with work to notice.

Christine's dad is a formerly successful computer engineer-turned-amusment-park-ride-supervisor. His preferred mode of expression is writing and his daughter seems to have become close to him emotionally through writing letters . It is possible he has difficulties with communicating verbally or maybe he has social anxiety because later on in his career, when he loses his job at AOL and takes a job closer to home, Christine and her dad seem to have lost a bit of the psychological intimacy they used to share through letter writing, even though they live at the same house full time now.

3) Christine's relationship with Jake was at least partially formed with the hope that she could provide her with that, and it fell apart because he was more interested in sex.

So Jeremy confronting her about a non-existent letter upsets her because she'd really LOVE to receive a letter like that and she hasn't. (She'd love to have the type of psychological intimacy with someone, the way she had with her dad when she was younger.)

Christine, at least, has some idea of what she's looking for in a partner. Jeremy isn't even aware, or can't articulate, why he's drawn to Christine more than the girls who are more physically attractive. But judging from the "furry" reveal, I think it's safe to say that Jeremy recognizes that the expectations his body preferences/fetishes orient him to are unfair to women (because women with tails don't actually exist).

But he suddenly there's Christine...and she's exceptional because he likes her exactly the way she is: as a normal girl (a winged Halloween costume doesn't hurt, but it neither does it make her more attractive than she already is to him.)

I like to think that there is something a little more substantial to his attraction as well: the fact that she's chill when he's wired. Jeremy is slowly comming to recognize that there's something deficient about his upbringing and the way he's been taught to veiw the world, and now that he's "not a little kid anymore" he wants to correct that. If that's the case Christine isn't just someone to attain in a relationship, she's someone to aspire to be like.

On Christine's end, I think it's hard to read because she doesn't display a lot of sexual or romantic interest in Jeremy (aside from a chaste kiss on the cheek she wasn't uncomfortable doing in front of Jake). But for her, I think that would come after they became confidants.

And the fact that, at the end of the book, Jeremy is being so totally honest. Painfully honest. He's even honest about the parts of the story he's omitting/censoring! And the fact that he's doing it in written format: in a method of communication that is preferable to her, that she has fond associations of...

She's still angry, and at this point rightfully so, but as a girl with an expressed interest in psychology I think Christine would also be intrigued.

I think that bodes well for the future of their relationship.

#Be more chill novel #ned vizzini #christine caniglia #Jeremy heere #book!christine #book!jeremy #shippingandhandling #character analysis

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13rwbabes · 6 years ago

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Montgomery x Reader Imagine (Part 18/?)

MASTERLIST

So um yeah, I know, I've been MIA for sooo long, I can't even remember when was the last time I posted (was if 2018 or 2017?lol) I wish I could give a good, reasonable explanation, but I can't really... I haven’t been much on tumblr in general, when I thought about writing I wasn't "feeling it". But lately, about three months after I got new phone I downloaded tumblr again and was really surprised to see people are still reading this, asking for next part and I was like whaaaat. Then on YouTube I watched some scenes from 3 season of 13 reasons, it reminded me what a cutie Timothy Granaderos is and I kind of wanted to start again. Another factor that pushed me to writing again is that at the moment life is a little overwhelming for me and it let's me zone out from everything. So here it is, part 18 if anyone is still interested lol It's not the best chapter I could imagine, especially for a come back but I promise, they will actually interact again in next one (btw I fixed my masterlist link)

Also this time I made sure I'm not suddenly gonna go MIA again and that I'm really prepared, next2 chapters are almost done :) I also think that in general this fanfic will be done in next 10(?) chapters, because I'm running out of ideas lol

IMPORTANT NOTE: I haven't watched seasons 2&3 but I'm familiar with what is going on. I know things Montgomery did is S2, I know how his story was shown in S3 but... This is my fanfic. This is like an alternate universe where Monty is straight and didn't raped anyone with a mop, okay?

***

"An intervention?", I chuckled. "I don't need any intervention."

"Yes, you do", Sheri said. "You are so smart and so intelligent, but you are such an idiot when it comes to your feelings."

"We spoke to Monty", Zach added.

"Oh, and what did he tell you?", I asked and crossed my arms on my chest. I was faking confidence but inside I was shaking. Did he tell them everything? Would the do that even though he promised he would keep it a secret?

"Everything", Justin said. "You can't skip school forever, Y/N."

"I have doctor's note, my wrist hurts", I shrugged. "Why are you here instead of school, that's real question."

"Priorities. We talked to Monty before he went home and we decided we have to do something and we have to do it now, because you are too scared and too stubborn and Montgomery is too insecure", Jessica said as she sat down on couch and patted place next to her, "So now, sit down and talk."

"Interesting, many words that I could use to describe Monty come to my mind, but insecure is not one of them", I said sitting down.

"He's insecure when it comes to you", Sheri said.

"Well, she did everything in her power to make him feel like that", Justin mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"He told us everything. About the thing you two had. And how you always said he's not good enough for you."

"Oh wow", I chuckled. "Okay, fine, we were hooking up last year, but I have never said things like that to him. I ended things so now he's tryna make me look like the bad guy here".

"Okay, so tell me", Justin took chair sat on it backwards in front of me, "was he taking care of you?", his tone was sharp and others didn't dare to interrupt him.

"What do you mean?", I asked, but I felt where this conversation was going.

"For example, who took you to the hospital when you got allergic reaction?".

"Monty and you know that, you were there when it happened", I rolled my eyes.

"Who came here and checked on you later that day?"

"Montgomery".

"Who walked you to the nurse and then drove to hospital when you broke your wrist?"

"Monty".

"Who stood up for you when that dickhead Sean showed up at Bryce's Halloween party?"

"All of you actually", I smiled, I knew what he meant but I wanted to annoy him.

"You know what I mean", he said through clenched teeth.

"Okay, yes, Montgomery was next to me all night to make sure Sean didn't bother me."

"And didn't he put you to sleep when you got wasted and didn't get advantage of you because you was so drunk even though you begged to get laid?".

"What?"

"Just stop fucking lie, Y/N", Justin sighed.

"Okay, yes, he put me to sleep and did not want to have sex with me because I was so drunk, I wouldn't call that begging to get laid".

"You really don't see this?", Sheri asked.

"See what?", I asked harshly.

"How much he cares about", she said quietly.

"What did he do when you told him your period was late?", Justin continued his 20 questions.

"He told you about that?!", I stood up.

"Yes, as we said, he told everything", Zach told.

"So what did he do?", Justin asked.

"He... Told me to stay and went to drugstore and got back with few pregnancy tests."

"Quite nice that he took care of everything", Justin chuckled.

"Okay, what is your point?", I was getting slowly irritated.

"He cares about you", all four of them yelled.

"If he cares about me, why did he started dating Tina, the second after I called things off?", at this point I was almost crying.

"Because you called it off suddenly out of nowhere and also because he is a bit dumb, like most of us", Jessica said.

"I called it off because I started having feelings for him", I said. "So I wanted some distance before I would get hurt", I shrugged.

"Why do you assume you would get hurt?"

"Because... It was supposed to be fuck buddies thing. That's what he wanted. There's no place for feelings".

"So are you saying that he literally called you the greatest girl he knows, only because of sex?", Justin asked.

"I know you don't agree, but he got in this fight with Alex today in your cause, because of that stupid list. I know, it's not what you wanted, you didn't asked for this and he usually does before he thinks but... he tries", Zach said.

"He changed. Everyone see it. Yes, he fought Alex today, but stop being blind and think about his behaviour last month or two...", Jessica added.

"I'm just... scared. What if I make a move and it won't work?", I said and swiped off single tear that streamed down my face.

"Honey", Jess hugged me. "But what if it does? He's speaks so highly about you. Even today after you had a fight at school, but he's miserable because he has no idea what else he could do to get to you."

"Well", Justin chuckled. "He also called her critical bitch to balance things out".

I laughed a little.

"I guess I deserve it", I said.

"So how it's gotta be?", Sheri asked.

"Okay", I sighed. "I will talk to him when he'll be back in school", I nodded. "But if it won't work and things will get more awkward, it'll be your fault", I pointed at four of them.

"They will", Jess smiled.

"Okay guys, let's leave her alone and give her time to make up her mind", Zach said.

"See you tomorrow", they said as they were leaving.

"Guys", I said before they left. "I'm sorry I was lying to you."

"Talk to Montgomery and we'll be good", Justin said with a smile while closing door.

I went to my room, laid on bed and stared at the ceiling trying to make up my mind. Suddenly I heard that front door opened and I realized I haven't locked them when Sheri and others left.

"Y/N?", I heard my mum.

I breathed a sigh of relief and got up from my bed.

"Yeah?", I said as I was walking downstairs.

"Dad called me. He said you came for a doctor's note because you skipped school."

"Well, my wrist hurts", I said avoiding looking at her. Mum could tell when I was lying most of the time.

"Okay", she sighed. "Tell me what is it really about?"

"It's my wrist. Really. I barely took it out of the cast, it's normal", I shrugged.

"Listen", she walked to the freezer and took box of ice cream, "it's your last chance to tell me the truth. Otherwise I'll stop being a cool mum", she handed me a spoon.

I stared at her, had a fight in my mind. As much as my relationship with my mum was really good, I considered both her and dad friends, I wasn't sure if I should tell her about the whole Montgomery mess. On the other hand how much worse could it get? Also she would have a fresh perspective on everything.

"Okay", I said finally and took deep breath. "It's about Montgomery", I said quietly.

"Ha, I knew something was going on!", she said walking from kitchen to the living room and sitting on the couch.

"Okay, calm down Ms I know it all, it's not what you think", I said and sat next to her. "So... You know I've been friends with Montgomery for few years now. Well, maybe not friends, more like... We had the same group of friends but the two of us wasn't like super close or anything. But this school year we got closer..."

"Because of the chemistry project?", She asked with a smirk.

"Well, yes, I was late to the first class and had to sit with him and that's how we got paired", I nodded. I knew I wasn't telling her the whole truth but I didn't think she would be amused with the whole friend with benefits thing. "Anyway...", I continued.

And I told her everything. I pointed out every thing he did for me, how he took me to the hospital when I eat peanut butter cookie, how he came and checked on me later that day, how he took care of me when I broke my wrist and stood on my side, not Tina's even though he was dating her at that time, how he took me away from Marcus when he made bet about me. I even told her what happened at Halloween party when he carried me away from Sean and made sure he stayed away from me (I didn't mention part where I was "begging to get laid", as Justin claims). And, for obvious reasons, I didn't tell about that time when I thought I was pregnant and he acted really matured and went to buy a pregnancy tests. As I was saying all this things I finally realised that everyone was right - he did took care about me and he did change.

"And after all this things you pushed him away because you are afraid to hell him how you feel?", my mum asked.

"Well... Yes", I nodded.

"Y/N Y/L/N, your father and I didn't raise you to be a coward. You'll of course do whatever you want but I really think you two should have an honest talk. What worse could happen?"

"You're right... Probably..."

"You seemed happier around October and November, just sayin...", she shrugged and went upstairs.

"Stop being coward", I whispered to myself.

Five minutes later I was driving to Montgomery's house.

"You can do it. You can do it. What's the worst thing that could happen?", I was my own hypeman. "He won't spoke to me? He already doesn't", I shrugged.

I parked and almost run to his front door. I rang the doorbell and waited moment but I didn't hear any noise from inside. I looked at the driveway, his car was parked, he had to be inside. I knocked hard few times. Still nothing. Then I heard something behind the house. I went there and that's where he was. He was playing basketball alone with his earphones on. I walked towards him, he saw me and froze for a moment. Then he ignored my presence and continued throwing ball to the basket. I walked closer, stood under the basket and caught ball when it was falling.

"Monty...", I said even though I wasn't sure if he could hear me.

He shook his head and walked back to the house.

"I'm not a coward", I mubled and followed him.

"Monty", I repeated.

"That's trespassing, you know?", he asked pouring himself some juice.

"I want to speak you", I said.

"And I want you to leave".

"Well I'm not leaving until to talk to me", I crossed my arms.

"I've had enough, okay?", he said walking past me, grabbed my arm and walked me to the front door. "Bye, Y/N."

"Mon..."

"My parent will be home any time now and because I got suspended again, believe me, you don't want be here when they get here", he said, still not looking at me.

"Okay, well, can we talk tomorrow? Or maybe on Thursday when you'll be back in school if you want more time?", I asked.

"Nah, I don't think I want to talk to you at all", he said and closed the door leaving me on his doorstep.

I came back to my car holding back my tears.

"Fuck!", I screamed and hit steering wheel few times. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

My phone started ringing, I looked at the screen.

"Hey, Atkins", I answered trying to sound normal.

"Hi, sweet, I sent you notes from today."

"Thanks, you're the best."

"Just try, you know, slow down with skipping school. Teachers start asking questions."

"This was last time, I swear", I sighed.

"Everything ok?", he asked concerned.

"Yeah... No, actually, it's not... I, encouraged by pretty much everyone I know including my mum, went to Montgomery to finally tell him everything, how I feel about him. But he doesn't want to talk to me and pretty much shut the door in front of my face..."

"Oh God... Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No, thanks, Sheri, Justin, Jessica and Zach spoke to him already. He's fed up with me and I deserve it to be honest", I shrugged.

"Don't say that! Give him few days, he'll probably change his mind by the time he'll be back in school", Jeff assured. "And if not, I'm more than sure, he'll want to talk to you when he see you at the prom this saturday".

"Yeah, I don't know if I'm going, I'm not in a mood."

"Oh no, no, no..."

"Jeff..."

"You're coming! Your mum ordered like ten dresses online, they're supposed to be delivered today. You're going. And don't use wrist as an excuse. Bye", he hung up before I could say anything more.

*** Monty's POV ***

It wasn't even an hour since Y/N left when I heard a doorbell.

"What again", I mumbled walking down the stairs. "Seriously?", I chuckled when I opened door and saw Jeff. "Who's coming next? Her mum? Her dad?", I swear one more person comes in, trying to defend her, I'm out.

"She doesn't know I'm here", Jeff walked inside.

"Whatever", I shrugged.

"Listen, I don't know the whole story, all I know is that since September both of you changed for better. She seemed happy and more relaxed. You didn't lose you temper so much and you were unbeatable on the field. Man, that two home runs?"

"Yeah, I mean, me and Y/N made a bet... Nevermind."

"Anyway, you were in a better place. Both of you. And know both of you are miserable."

"Well, thanks to her..."

"Man, I know her since forever. She can be a lot, she's neurotic and critical, I know that. The whole thing with this dickhead Sean really affected her. She really fucked her up and made her feel insecure and distanced and still somehow you were the first person she let in."

"Why are everyone making this whole thing about her? I was in it too. I finally wanted to change, to be better. Because of her. For her. And then she suddenly ended things. I mean... No one is that blind to not see that", I said. "And don't start with that 'she's insecure' crap talk", I added before Jeff had a chance to open his mouth.

"Listen, you'll do whatever you want. By far both of you are making yourselves miserable with your stubborness, but whatever", Jeff raised his hands with defensive gesture. "I send you notes from today, see you on Thursday", he said and left.

"Fuck", I whispered.

I had a point. I knew I had. Everyone were making is about Y/N, but I was in it too. When I told her she was the greatest person I knew, I meant it. I mean... How can someone not have at least a tiny crush on her. I meant it when I told her she's a catch. And yet she supposedly didn't get what I was trying to say? She finally made me feel vulnerable and then pushed me away.

I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling when I heard her voice in my mind saying jokingly "Just try not to fall in love with me". I should've taken that as a warning...

#13 reasons why #13rw #montgomery de la cruz imagine #montgomery de la cruz #monty de la cruz imagine #13 reasons why imagine

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ninamontagutbordas · 5 years ago

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HOW CAN WE MAKE AMENDS WITH OUR EXPECTATIONS? THIS IS WHAT MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE HAS TAUGHT ME

I don’t remember the last time I woke up past nine A.M. Usually (and my friends will confirm this just because I know they make fun of me all the time), I’m in bed by 9 or 10 pm. But, like with everything in life, there’s a good side and a bad side to it. In my case, the perks of going to sleep before my friends are even home from work, is usually that, between 6 and 6:30 am, without the need of setting a terrible alarm, I’m awake. It doesn't matter if I go out until late, I always wake up early.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there are times where, going to bed early, is a terrible thing to do, because, if I have so many hours of sleep, it gets to the point where I’ll wake up at 4:45 or 5 am and never go back to sleep. (Bear in mind that, whenever I wake up in the middle of the night, almost every two days or so, I start writing for a bit because I have so many things running through my mind I feel the most creative). So, even if I fall back to sleep, I never sleep straight from 9 pm to 6 am.

A few weeks ago, I woke up at 5:57 and I thought to myself: “This is a great morning to go for a walk, nobody will be around, so I won’t be bothered by the terrible noises of a stressful Monday morning in the city”.

I go for walks by myself many mornings, usually, around 6:30 or 7 am. I’m generally wearing headphones but of course, this was the one morning my phone battery died halfway through for no other reason than my phone goes crazy from time to time, so, as you can imagine, the picture of the perfect walk was already being damage by my own expectations. At this point, I was a bit grumpy but decided to keep going a bit longer because it was still very early.

I like to have breakfast after my walks, it’s like a religious routine for me. I come home, I shower and I have breakfast. However, I never leave home without my daily dose of caffeine (I take my coffee black, no sugar, no milk), but, of course, this very morning, I was running off coffee at home so you can imagine how desperate I was to find somewhere to buy my first double espresso of the day.

I didn’t think this through, clearly, because ridiculously, I was “such in a rush” to leave my bed for NO REASON. There were no open bars at the time and the ones where you could stop by and grab some coffee “to-go” didn’t open until seven or eight.

So now the situation is like this: No battery, no coffee – just sleepy Nina wandering around doing exactly what she didn’t want to do, alone time with “me, my thoughts and I”. Sometimes when I listen to music I tend to analyze the writing of the songs and see if I can learn something from it and that gets me pretty distracted. No open bars to sit in either because if there were, I would have been smart enough to carry a book with me in case my battery died, as it did.

If you know me, you know I’m a pretty foresight person. I can’t control if my phone dies but I can control it if I bring a book with me “just in case”, because “just in case” is what I always do. It’s what I know to do.

I feel like I should explain myself just because you don’t understand how important my morning walks are for me. Also, I just explain this so that you understand how much I dislike when things take a south turn and I didn't see it coming.

I hate meditation (well, hate is a strong word and I promised myself long ago I wouldn’t use it, so, I will GLADLY correct myself). I don’t like meditation, I’ve tried it several times because I suffer from severe anxiety but it just never worked for me. If it works for you, great. I’m happy to hear.

My kind of therapy is usually writing or walking. Or writing while walking. Or walking while writing, if that makes sense. Or having coffee after a walk while writing. Or having coffee while walking thinking about my writing. Whatever. The point is, my morning walks are usually what gets me through my day. I am home before everyone else is awake, so I feel like I already accomplished something.

Plus, If I wake up at 5 am and I'm at home doing nothing, I get stressed. To be honest, I enjoy a lot being alone, but I’m not a calm person at all, so I try to always seek quiet places to surround myself with because it’s something I need.

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WANT AND A NEED (Quoting my friend Selena Gomez in her latest song “I Want a Boyfriend”).

So, at this point, I’m 40 minutes away from home, with no battery, no coffee, no book, no bars, no writing. Nobody around but myself, the picture of the perfect nostalgic character that feels like an idiot and blames everything on the external factors instead of blaming it on herself. I could write a script about that character.

I didn't want to be like “you should have stayed at home”. I hate the word “should”. My relationship with it is pretty complicated because I try not to do things that lead me up to “I should have bla bla bla”.

I don’t have many regrets. I make choices and live with the consequences and this is probably because I always try to express my feelings and be as vulnerable as possible. And, by doing that, I can be brutally hurt sometimes, but in the end, I always find internal peace in it.

Also, I don’t like to give advice, but, if I have to sometimes, the only two things I say are the following:

1. Would you rather: Be awake because of pain or because of restlessness? Because the pain eventually goes away, but the restlessness, unfortunately, sticks with you for a very long time.

2. Don’t ever judge how a person’s feeling. You can have different opinions but a feeling is something intuitive and you can't disagree with it. Feelings are facts.

But, contrary to what I’m writing, that morning I was like “Should I sit down and just wait?” But then I was like “Wait for what?”. Again, I felt like an idiot, and unfortunately, I didn’t understand why. Did I want to go home? Yes, of course, I wanted to go home but, to get there, I still had almost an hour without music, coffee, phone battery, or a pen and a notebook, and that made me angry.

For some reason, I couldn’t stop thinking about the way I felt during and after my walk. During that time, I had stopped writing for a while (I usually write every day but there are times where I have to distance myself from my writing), but if I tried to write something down, this was the only thing I could write about.

Of course, none of it was good enough because I still didn’t understand what was I exactly feeling. To be very clear, I never consider my writings are good enough if I don’t understand where they come from. My therapist always makes fun of me because he’s like: “You really know yourself well so what are you exactly doing here?”.

What is the emotion that comes after anger? That's what I was feeling, and that's what I was asking myself repeatedly.

So I googled the question (yes, googled as in a verb, not a noun) to see if I found a comfortable answer. “Common emotions known to trigger anger are anxiety, shame, sadness, fear, frustration, guilt, disappointment, worry, embarrassment, jealousy and hurt. All of these emotions are experienced as negative and are perceived as threatening to our well-being”.

SO, WHY WAS I ANGRY?

Suddenly, it clicked for me. When do I usually feel like this? When have I felt like this before? I feel like this when I get things wrong, and by getting things wrong, I mean when my expectations about something or someone are far from the actual scenario. I’m a pretty good judge of character so, when I get it wrong, it makes me angry, and all the following emotions that come with anger.

But this wasn’t new. Many, many times before I had experienced this feeling, however, it had been a very long time since this has happened to me again in such an obvious way, so that’s why it took me a while to figure out where this was coming from.

The truth is that, whether it's hard to admit it or not, this is a problem I deal with constantly. I don't forgive myself when I get something wrong because of preconceived ideas that create an imaginary narrative in my head. Sometimes because I don't want to admit that some things will never be as I want them to be, and sometimes because it's hard for me to let go.

I felt something similar recently with a whole different experience than my morning walk, but, again, it felt pretty much the same. I got it wrong.

And, it got me thinking.

I always thought that, when it came to situations I didn't have full control of, I had to make a truce with people or moments I was involved with, but it wasn't until now where I realized the only one I have to be in a truce with, is myself.

And, by myself, I mean my expectations. I have to make amends with my expectations. Nobody but me is responsible for it. And that’s because I am the one who’s disappointed at the end. I have to accept the fact that sometimes I have lost (and will continue to lose) to my expectations. Expectations 1 - Nina 0.

Again, I don’t know regret so I’m glad I now can learn how to protect myself from this kind of feeling and take a bit of distance from situations that will tempt my imagination.

I now see very clearly what will make me feel good, and what will not. I went on a walk again this morning. This time, no phone, no book, no coffee, deliberately. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

Actually, It wasn’t bad at all, because when I came back home, I wrote this essay.

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snkpolls · 6 years ago

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SnK Chapter 124 Poll Results

The chapter 124 poll closed with 2,065 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

This month’s poll team: @erensjaegerbombs @momtaku, _Puppet_ , @shifter-lines and @ladymoe6

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,926 Responses

Fours and fives still dominate but there’s no denying that this chapter lacked the hype we’ve seen recently. “Thaw” had the lowest number of 5’s this year, performing similarly to the Zeke-centric flashback chapter in 114, “Sole Salvation”. (There’s a pun to made here about us “warming up to Thaw” but sadly I am not smart enough to make it.)

The Chapter of Necessary Filler & the Obligatory Cliffhanger

I love that Isayama isn't rushing everything and is actually focusing on little details and small interactions between characters. He really isn't glorifying an "apocalyptical scenario" just for the sake of destruction in itself or shock value.

This chapter felt like a nostalgia trip, but I wasn't in for the ride.

This chapter was a breath of fresh air ngl. These past chapters were mostly full of either a flashback, monologue or just having two characters talking in a realm where nothing happens and time is frozen, but, at last, the plot is moving foward in the real world too. Not only it contained long gone titan action, but also great character development/moments as well. I missed this.

The leaks didn't give this chapter justice

A weaker chapter overall, I hope all this buildup will be well spent in the next chapter.

I actually loved everything about this chapter, I can't believe Isayama finally gave me a reason to kind of like Gabi. I'm sure she'll do something to immediately change that…

Isayama-sensei is the best, each chapter is a 10/10 for me. I do agree that this chapter is not as great as as the last 5, but it's still great. This year is impossible to choose the Top 5 Best Chapters of SNK

It was good, but I was hoping for a crazier year closure.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT?

1,995 Responses

There were many great moments in this chapter, but Annie’s highly anticipated return to the active plot takes up the largest amount of votes! Other notable moments were: Shadis taking command, Armin realizing Annie’s crystal must have unhardened, the 104th discussing Eren, and Jean’s salty reaction to Floch’s continued survival.

A N N I E is BAAAAAAACK!!!

as someone too invested in the gabi-nicolo-braus plot thread by i love sasha i am absolutely Fed with that excellent "get out of the forest" talk. thank u for the good food nicolo

It's great to see the other 104th members discuss about Eren's actions. At least we got a glimpse on what they think about Eren's plan.

For once I'm gonna forgive Isayama for putting off Levi and Hange. I FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE ANNIE BACK ON MY BIRTH MONTH!!! BEST PRESENT EVER

I like the parallels to Trost, especially the part with the thunder spears sort of mirroring the thing with the guns and the elevator from S1

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTERS MVP? 1,988 Responses

Despite the influx of negative commentary, 38.2% of respondents agree that Gabi’s persistence to save Falco and reconciliation with Kaya earned her the MVP title this month. The strongest contenders were Shadis and Jean.

Annie saved this chapter from the Gabi / Kaya focus

Connie- the underrated suffer boi

Gabi best girl!

I am proud of Jean for taking charge, he acted like a real commander.

Reiner Best character 😔��

SHADIS IS THE MVP AND I LOVE HIM

WHICH CHARACTER WERE YOU MOST DISAPPOINTED WITH? 1,998 Responses

“None of the above” was a popular suggestion (25.2%) but Connie edged that choice out by a percentage point (26.3%) . At least you guys listen when the evening news says that stealing children is bad.

Silly of you to ask us which character we're most disappointed with. We're always disappointed with Floch in every panel he shows up in

it's good to have a connie development, but I was a little sad about his attitude

I'm not so much disappointed with Connie in this moment as I am with the direction his character arc has gone lately in general. I miss when he was fun instead of angry all the time.

I think everyone is acting super irrational. Eren is going to destroy the world but all the SC are "accepting" of it. I think deep down they are all horrified and in a completely insane mental state causing irrational decisions and thoughts such as Jean being okay with genocide.

I understand that Connie is desperate to find a comfort after all the ppl he lost, but I'm still extremely disappointed in him for wanting to murder a child. Not just Connie tho, the same goes for Jean and Armin. Armin didn't say "Let's not kill a freaking child" he just objected because he didn't want to provoke Reiner and Pieck.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF REINER’S ROLE THIS CHAPTER? 1,889 Responses

Reiner takes a back seat this chapter, and just barely over half of the fandom believe he deserves that nap after all he’s been through. Another quarter, at 25.8% are wishing he could just die at this point, for better or worse.

"Enough already. Just sleep." - Reiner to Eren in 117

Can Reiner pick an opinion and stick with it for .2 seconds. he's like hardcore ready to kick ass and then immediately turns around and is ready to die again

Game over man

He's cute. End of the story.

I think it was bizarre that Gabi just let him fall asleep and left him in an enemy territory where he could be captured or eaten by a mindless titan

I understand him being tired an all, but sleeping in the middle of a warzone and at the start of the apocalypse???

Helos needs his rest and good dreams of Bert

I think it is set up for his future death : saving Falco by being eaten by Connie's mom (he was there with Connie in Ragako village)

Madlad goes to sleep instead of dying

Man literally too tired to die

There were certainly worse ways than "passed out from exhaustion" that he could've been written out of the chapter. At least we know his current status this way, unlike a certain duo...

He need some milk

Reiner votes for “Can’t he just die already?”

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE EREN PARALLEL IN GABI AT THE MIRROR? 1,869 Responses

Gabi’s design is based on Eren, and she’s had similarities and parallels to him in the past, what does the parallel in this chapter mean stacked on top of all of that? About 70% say it’s to further emphasize how similar she is to him at her core. 12.7% don’t think it was an intentional parallel to that Eren scene, 7.7% say she’s going to receive his titan, and a solid 1% wrote in the eloquent thesis of “Fuck Gabi.”

A bit too on the nose

Both have the common factor of determination and the desire to fight to save someone else. "Fight, fight" = "Like I'd give up" In Eren's case, his scene in the mirror is portrayed in a darker, more aggressive environment, he must fight to save his loved ones, but for this goal he must destroy everything. On the other hand, Gabi shows a more heroic/pure attitude, the light is predominant, and his words refer to the desire to fight to save Falco without taking this violence path unlike Ere

Eren cant copyright this hairstyle

How dare she stand where he stood.

I didn't like any parallels that include Gabi. Not this one, and most certainly not the one with Sasha.

It definitely foreshadows something, but I don't think it's that she'll inherit his titan. I think she's going to be the one to end this madness and break the cycle. Unlike Eren, who fights for freedom both for himself and his loved ones, Gabi will fight for peace and equality: a different kind of freedom.

It symbolizes Gabi's character arc starting to go in the opposite direction of Eren, rather than showing them being similar.

It symbolizes Gabi's change in motivation to do anything to save her friends. Just as Eren's motivation in the mirror scene really marked the moment he turned genocidal to protect his friends.

DO YOU AGREE WITH JEAN’S CONCLUSION THAT EREN IS DOING WHAT HE’S DOING TO PROTECT THOSE HE LOVES? 1,950 Responses

Jean believes he’s figured out why Eren’s doing what he’s doing, does the fandom agree? The large majority think that’s at least a part of it, as 40.8% think it’s solely that goal in mind, and another 53.5% believe it stemmed from that desire but has evolved and become more complex. 3.3% of fans don’t believe that’s where his motivation stems from at all.

But if that's his goal it still doesn't explain chapter 112

EREN is doing it to protect his friends. YMIR wants vengeance and bloodshed.

I agree, because I really don’t know what else could have been done. The Eldians were hated all over the world and Talk-No-Justu is a folly.

I don't know what to think. At first, Jean seems to be in denial (like most of the 104th), but perhaps it's his way of realizing things. No, Eren must love them a lot, there's absolutely no way that his genocide is unjustified. Right...? Wait…

I think he's being pragmatic and analytical. Like a real leader. Something I expected from Armin. However Armin has strokes of genius during critical times so I'm expecting something.

In a breaking bad way, yes

Yes, although I believe Eren's old and complex relationship with the idea of freedom also plays a big part in this situation.

No, because he isn't doing anything about the mindless titans and treated his friends like trash. I didn't see any kind of concern while they were in danger. I think he's more eager to set his ideals into action.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WAS THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO WHAT TO DO WITH FALCO? 1,958 Responses

Another serumbowl type discussion arises, yay!!...? The vast majority, at a combined 81.4% don’t want to feed Falco to anyone, and just want to wrap him up and not start any more conflict. 11.6% think he should be fed to a known titan such as Pixis, and only 4.3% side with Connie’s reaction of feeding him to his own Mama Springer.

Falco is too important. He and Connie will probably have an arc.

Feed him to Floch, jaw titan always dies stupidly and Floch never dies so it should cancel out

Feed him to Levi that way we get jaw Levi and his hand back.

Feed Zeke to Connie's mom instead and take Falco somewhere safe

I don’t have anything against Falco personally, but it makes since to feed him to someone else

I like Falco, but Connie has lost far more than anyone outside the Walls. If feeding Falco to Connie's mom gives Connie some semblance of peace, so be it

NILE !

In a perfect world Connie can have the satisfaction of feeding ZEKE to his mother. Kinda proud that I predicted the “Connie tried to revive his mom” plot point but I think the fact that it’s falco means that Connie fails

There's no right answer here, but I can't imagine any mother would be able to live with the fact that she ate someone else's child in order to live again, so that's probably the worst option.

Well, logically speaking, Falco should probably be fed to Pixis. But my heart calls out for me to wrap him in a blanket.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF CONNIE SEEMINGLY SNAPPING ON THE OTHERS AND INSISTING FALCO BE FED TO HIS MOTHER? 1,947 Responses

Understanding prevaled with close to 80% of the fandom selecting “I don’t agree with his actions but I wholeheartedly sympathize with his reasoning”. Only 13% indicated that they were disappointed with him.

Falco's a kid, man! You don't cross that line!

Connie, if your mom needs a kidney transplant, you don't just shank another person to steal their kidneys. Just saying.

Connie has been pushed to his limit. He needs a nap and a minute to cry.

Although Connie is not thinking clearly, I'm glad they're not blindly hating on him like some have been doing for Eren.

Connie's break is truly amazing to me. The guy was always so good and chill and dedicated before these hard times. To see him at his breaking point, horrified by everything that is happening and overwhelmed by the situation, and thus reverting into single-minded dedication to one fundamental goal - saving his mother. It's tragic to see him like this and it's probably not the best "logical" action, but it makes complete sense that he'd do this. He's sick of this clusterfuck. He has a ticket to save his mom and he's gonna take it. Poor Falco though, of course.

I didn't see it coming, but it's not like it's unthinkable. When the world collapses we often want to run back to our mama.

I disagreed with him, but I thinks his feelings are understandable and, also, I liked a lot that he pointed out 104's hypocrisy. The serum drama is coming back to bite their asses.

I understand he wants to see his mom again but does he really want to give her the cruel fate of becoming a titan shifter?

I understand his reasoning, but this is literally the WORST possible time to cause an internal crisis

I'm sad for him & deeply uncomfortable by it.

I’m mad at Connie only because he straight up abandoned his duty to pacify the Titan situation. He left Jean, Mikasa, and Armin to take care of it without him. Lucky Shadis was there to help.

REGARDLESS OF YOUR VIEWS ON CONNIE’S ACTIONS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM FINALLY GETTING SOME TIME IN THE SPOTLIGHT? 1,946 Responses

More than half the fandom was happy to see him speak his mind and get some character development (53.3%). 16% were absolutely thrilled. Those who don’t care, and those whose disappointment over how he returned soured the moment came in at 10%... I’m willing to bet at least one of those votes is because he doesn’t have a new hair style.

Going to the dark side doesn't suit the former sunshine called Connie.

My man has been in the story since the beginning. He is well overdue for an arc.

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.

But why FALCO? He's the ONLY character outside the Walls I actually LIKE!

Finally we get to see him say something about his mother. Yeah, maybe he's not one of the most important charcters overall, but what he lived through when he saw his mom on that roof finally deserves some thoughts and emotions. Connie was on the margin of the story for way too long, and I'm happy we get to see him talk about how he feels.

Glad he’s doing stuff but he’s 100% going to die

I haven't really liked his development. He's, altho understandably, just an angry dude that can't help himself from getting overcome by his emotions. Not a good look.

I really liked his whole "Eren's crossed the line", now he's making the same mistake. A bitter irony, but does Isayama have time for that?

I'm really disappointed in Connie's "friends" for basically telling him to "chill out, you can't save your mother because we need to make our enemies happy". Hell no to that, I completely sympathize with Connie far more than his "friends" especially since Armin is being the world's biggest hypocrite

It's good because it now opens up the possibility of Connie finally getting his revenge on Zeke

My Boi Connie deserves his own plot-line, so I'm really excited

TITAN ACTION! BUT OF THE PURE AND AVERAGE VARIETY INSTEAD OF COLOSSALS, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THAT AS THE FOCUS OF THE CHAPTER? 1,936 Responses

A chapter in the endgame that’s almost reminiscent of the defense of Trost with respect to mindless titan action and defending a base. Despite many other happenings such as the rumbling going on currently, 46% were totally fine with the focus on mindless titan action and thought it was written well, whereas 35.6% enjoyed it, but wished there was a bit more beyond checking that box. 10.8% wanted a larger focus on the titans in the rumbling, and 5.5% would have preferred a focus shift away from Shiganshina entirely.

I love the fact that shows how prepared and easy fighting mindless titans is for them now. When the titans attacked Trost they were hopeless and Jean was the one frozen in fear. Now we get to see him clear up the titans with ease.

I think showing smaller happenings before the big reveal of Eren's titan and the effects of the rumbling are important buildup.

I would have rather focused on what's happening to Pieck and the others near the wall.

I didn't feel that was the focus, but either way, I liked it.

I wish more would’ve happened outside of it BUT it’s important to show them being dealt with otherwise readers would be like “wait, what about all those people who turned into titans?” So not the best, but necessary.

I'm not crazy about fighting scenes, I prefer the ones where they discuss stuff, but these were really emotional with Shadis and Pixis and everything. Like, it wasn't even so much about fighting itself, for me at least, but about Shadis uniting people again and Armin setting Pixis free finally.

I wish the chapter had explored the idea of Titans appearing now that the Military has begun using weapons which are more effective against humans than Titans. I had thought that the reappearance of Titans would do much more damage since the Military is no longer equipped to handle such threats.

Reminds me of the Trost arc and I love it, but it will probably end up being the last time we see pure titans as this much of a threat.

I love the Season 1-esque fan service. How this series has evolved.

I just wished they didn't have to kill their comrades...C'mon this poll question is so heartless wth?

AFTER EREN GAINED THE FOUNDER, WHY WHERE THE MINDLESS TITANS STILL ATTACKING THE SOLDIERS? 1,944 Responses

Nearly half of the fandom are giving Eren the benefit of the doubt that he simply cannot control the titans, rather than not caring about them or using them. Although many believe that he’s too focused on other things to concern himself with them, and many others feel certain that mindless titans attacking the soldiers is part of his greater plan.

3 times it was mentioned that Eren/Zeke can't control the Titans, I think someone else is controlling them. Possibly Ymir, maybe we'll see Eren getting betrayed.

Eren can't control the mindless Titans because they're Zeke's Titans

It's highly likely the Founding Titan's power and control over Pure Titans has a collective effect of sorts. That is, it can turn Pure Titans back into humans, but if it did, it would happen to ALL Pure Titans, not just a specific group of them. It's possible that is how the Fritz royalty used the Pure Titans while maintaining the Eldian population during ancient times. Here, if Eren were to use that aspect of the Founding Titan's power, both the Military Branch Officer Titans AND the Wall Titans would be turned back into humans. Right now, Eren is bent on using the Wall Titans to flatten the World, so he most likely does not want to use the power of the Founding Titan to turn all the Pure Titans in Shingashina + Connie's mom into humans; otherwise, the Wall Titans would turn into humans again too, and that would ruin his rumbling plan.

Regarding Eren and the mindless titans, control issues aside, I just don't think he cares.

WHAT WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE TITAN KILL THIS CHAPTER? 1,968 Responses

In a chapter full of titan action, several titan kills stood out as both awesome and tear jerking. Just over half of respondents, at 51.6%, most remember Armin taking out Pixis after thanking him for his service to the cause. In a very narrow battle for second place, Keith Shadis sowing the recruits how it’s done won out over Gabi taking a cue from Sasha and saving Kaya.

All of them were pretty darn cool

Gabi's and Mikasa's tie for me

Hard to choose, they're all good

I didn't find any of them memorable if I May be honest

Can I choose all? Because I am.

It's a tie between Shadis arriving to save the recruits, Gabi saving Kayo from the Nile Titan, and Armin killing the Pixis Titan. If I was forced to pick, I'd say Armin's scene because of his sorrowful dialogue upon seeing Pixis as a Pure Titan and the flashback to one of Pixis's earliest highlights when he believed in Armin and Eren shortly after they first met.

Literally all of them what kind of sadistic question is this how could I possibly choose

Loved all the kills!!!

ALL OF THE ABOVE

THERE WAS A LOT OF DEBATE AS THIS CHAPTER WAS COMING OUT ABOUT GABI, AT THIS POINT DO YOU LIKE HER AS A CHARACTER IN THE STORY? 1,985 Responses

Nearly two-thirds of of the fandom currently enjoy Gabi’s overall character, despite what their first impressions may have been (65.1%) . Though there are still many who have yet to warm up to her, if they ever do (34.9%).

Gabi is beginning to grow on me enough I feel neutral about her.

Gabi is a LITTLE more favorable to me, but I still hate her and I wish she never existed. She can never earn forgiveness for Sasha.

gabi is good you guys are just mean

WHICH THOUGHT BEST MATCHED HOW YOU CURRENTLY FEEL ABOUT GABI? 1,977 Responses

One of the most controversial characters in the story is of course Gabi Braun, but what do fans truly think of her? Almost half, at 45.9% don’t profess love for her character from the mountains, but understand why she’s important to the story. In contrast, 19.6% firmly believe the story would be better off if she never existed, and 17.6% want to see even more of her in the upcoming chapters. 16.9% just think she’s been in the spotlight a little bit too much.

Fuck Gabi, Eren will always be better, not this carbon copy Mary Sue

gabi fucking GANG

Such a great chapter! I’m glad that the Gabi hate is stopping now.

Don't know why are people surprised about Gabi. Her closure with the Braus family is something I figured was gonna happen eventually. Guess Isayama wanted to get that out of the way early.

Of course my opinion of Gabi is unchanged. I still hate her no matter how much "development" she gets.

Gabi is a super uninteresting character to me

i really liked gabi’s character development in this chapter, especially since i was previously a gabi hater.

She is the new MC now. Upgrade.

I see why Gabi exists but she’s just such a forced character. The parallel between her and Sasha was so forced and just felt wrong. Don’t care about her killing Sasha her character is just a forced rehash of eren.

I'm disappointed in her as she is becoming more likeable

Gabi's character development finally completed in a brilliant way

Like Eren, she's fighting for people she cares about, even if she's wrong/vicious with her methods.

I’m tired of Gabi

Really wish we wouldn't have Gabi shoved down our throats, she's not a good character, let alone person

I'm really proud of Gabi and how far she's come from her original POV. I'm really hoping that this influences Eren and I really hope Falco and Gabi get to reunite.

yams wants us to like her more

She has the same motivations as Eren once had, to save the world, basically.

I will admit Gabi has gone through a lot of development. But that doesn't mean I have to like her. I still hate her, and I will NEVER EVER forgive her for what she did to Sasha.

Gabi's haters being mad is so funny. My girl truly shined this chapter, I love her even more.

Gabi.... I feel like I would absolutely hate being around her irl but I guess I do appreciate her as a character in the story.

Never wanted to kill a child so badly in my existence

Death to Gabi Braun!

I don't hate Gabi enough to want her dead, but "too much spotlight" is the understatement of the year, especially when there is still a lot that has yet to be resolved with the main characters

She just wants to protecc

I love Gabi but she gets too much screen time at this point in the story. I want to see Historia and hopefully Eren later.

I LOVE GABI SO MUCH SHE IS THE BEST GIRL

I like Gabster. Gabi Gang Gabi Gang

Me no likey bad bad

NOW THAT ALL OF THE ORIGINAL BRANCH HEADS ARE GONE, WHO SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF THE PARADIS MILITARY? 1,955 Responses

The head of all of Paradisian government, Darius Zackly, went out with a bang, and now we’ve lost the interim head Pixis, as well as Nile Dok. Who’s going to pick up the torch? There’s a big three that seem to have emerged as popular choices, with Jean winning out, Hange coming in second, and Shadis taking up third.

A combination of several people noted above.

Hanji+SC Armin+Garrison Jean+MP

Anyone but Floch

Jean. He's the only one that can view the Rumbling objectively and not rule it out as bad because their enemies are destroyed

Armin for strategy, Jean for leadership, Hanji for progress

Daz

Shadis should take over, but only untill Jean can get a little more experience leading.

As long as they agree Marley needs to be wiped out for the sake of Paradis, I'm okay with any leader that accepts that responsibility

Definitely not Hange. She wanted to make peace with Marley. Not leadership worthy at all.

Rico ;-;

Hange may be commander, but they are unfit for taking on as the head of the military. Same goes for Keith, though in this chapter he shows courage by stepping up to push the trainees to fight, I doubt he is willing to go back into a similar position as he was before as the Survey Corp's commander. Among the candidates, Armin may seem like a promising candidate, but aside from his proven intellect, just like Hange both do not possess the level of prowess of leading all three branches (four if count the training squad)of the military. More I think about it the "best" candidate in this list may surprisingly be Jean, but so far he hasnt been giving me the impression as someone who can take on such a massive role.

Erwin

WHY DID FLOCH ARREST THE VOLUNTEERS? 1,903 Responses

The fandom is fairly divided on Floch’s motives, with a three-way split that comes close to being even. The highest amount of respondents feel he is arresting the Volunteers because he doesn’t trust them based on past actions. In the middle, people feel that he doesn’t want to be associated with any non-Eldian people. And in third place, people felt that he doesn’t trust Yelena specifically, and is taking her group down with her.

As far as I've seen, Floch is on Eren's side, not Zeke's. So that would make Yelena, who hasn't heard about her boss and the euthanasia plan, dangerous as fuck. Even with that, Floch's following his own principles. He has different reasons than Eren, but he just needs the "devil" figure to project his own will.

He always knew Yelena and Zeke's intentions because of Eren, and now he's arresting them to prevent more trouble caused by them. I think Eren "trusts" and is working with Flcoh more than the fandom expect.

Because they conspired to sterilize/euthanize the Paradisians.

He's a completely inconsistent character whose personality and character motivations change at the drop of a hat in order to create conflict in the story.

He thinks Yelena can take over his position of the best Yeager fanboy and he can't have that.

He was never really on their side at all! Just like how Eren saw them - they were a means to an end, a useful tool but a dangerous one that could never really be trusted. Now that Eren has made his intentions clear and the ideological split is visible, he's fully turning on them and suppressing them from potentially pursuing their own agendas further.

There’s not enough room on Paradis for both of those eccentric hair cuts

GABI AND ARMIN BOTH SEEM INTERESTED IN PUTTING ASIDE THEIR DIFFERENCES: WILL THE SURVEY CORPS AND WARRIORS TEAM UP? 1,928 Responses

After having been warring factions since the beginning, will the warriors and Survey Corps finally team up as one? 62.9% feel a team up will happen, but not everyone from both sides will want to be involved, and a solid 30% believe a full team up is in the cards. Only 5.8% don’t feel that it’s possible at this point.

Any cooperation will be a compromise, so maybe?

At this point I really don't know. Their passivity disappointed me fully this chapter. They need their TRUE leaders who are MIA at the moment.

I hope it happens but I think Armin is acting under Bert's influence

I hope not, it sounds lame.

i think maybe they will be forced to work together to stop the titans because they are attacking both sides.

It's the ideal scenario I suppose

Only until the Rumbling stops. After that, the SC needs to dispose of all the remaining Warriors to end the war for good.

PLEASE MAYBE REINER WILL GET SOME CLOSURE OUT OF IT

Probably but it’s waaay to cliché. Please don’t Isayama

They'll team up to stop Eren, if that works they'll be enemies once again

Yes and Yes! I've been saying this for months: warriors and SC are going to have to work together. Magath is going to play a role in this too.

ANNIE!! THOUGHTS: 1,948 Responses

91 chapters. 91 Months. 7 and a half years. Longer than we were with the characters pre-timeskip. Annie has been in a crystal, but now she's free! 33.4% think she came back at the perfect time and Isayama has nailed his writing once again. 18.4% are excited for her return, but don’t feel there’s much time left in the story for the wait to be worth it. 15.7% aren’t worshippers at her crystal, and so aren’t too hyped out of their minds. 29% however: A N N I E

akueeoekskfnfjyfjekqwiruuri MY GIRL IS BACK BITCHES, AND I NEED POST-AWAKENING MIKANNIE FANFICTION NOW

glad she's back but the plot has nothing for her to do anymore

How he brought her back makes perfect sense and I love it. If she chose to come out at this time rather than being forced, it would have been awkward and forced to be honest. But Eren taking away all hardening is the best way to bring her back AFTER SEVEN FUCKING YEARS.

glad to have her back but sceptical of her importance

go back into hibernation

Good in-story reason, great writing, but waited far too long. Not sure if she will even be relevent for the remainder of the story that already has a lot of loose ends.

Hentannie

I am not hyped because it took too long and the series has gone too far down a path I can no longer follow.

I DID MY WAITING! TWELVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN!

I don't know what Annie can do at this point of the story that will make her return worthwhile

I don’t think Isayama and his editors would allow her to be brought back for a poor plot point/reason, so I’m curious to see what role she’ll have.

I wasn't too concerned about Annie at this point in the story but I'm glad that her return makes sense with the events currently taking place and I'm interested to see what Isayama has planned for her.

I'm no fan of her so I'm not excited at all, but I assume she'll drive the plot somewhere soon.

She's got a lot of catching up to do. Concerned it won't be handled well.

The reasoning is sound, and I am glad that Isayama thought that part through, but we have a limited number of pages left, so I am worried about how this will play out.

Took too long so it ended up being very 'meh' for me, but congratulations Annie-stans, have a drink tonight

Should've been way sooner, her potential as a character feels wasted since we're almost done now. All she'll have time to do is get caught up on what happened and then have a couple reunions.

I honestly have no idea what Isayama plans to do with her but I’m just GLAD SHES FINALLY FUCKING BACK!!!! MY BABY GIRL IS BACK!!!!

ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT ANNIE WILL DO NEXT? 675 Responses

Annie will have a run-in with Hitch, get things explained and head towards the main conflict.

Dare I say it, Assist With Armin’s Talk No Jutsu with Eren

"Run"

Definitely try to get to her dad.

Try to find her warrior friends

Determine her situation and act accordingly

She won't be too surprised at what Eren's become. She remarked how when the "good guys" take power, then it's all over to Marlowe in Season 1.

A girl can dream of her and Pieck being badasses.

All the titan shifters will come together (location-wise), it seem like a flag? Since all the shifter's powers is a part of Ymir herself, having them close might have significant meaning.

ANNIETHING

Be traumatized by manga spoilers? Wonder wtf happened?? Try to find Reiner??

Annie will join Eren.

Not give a shit about anything apart from Papa Leonhardt

Annie will play a huge role in stopping Eren, in some way.

be a badass like usual and FEMALE TITAN ACTION?????

Change her clothes because why is she wet

umm take a shower lol

Character development and teaming up against Ereh

I think Hitch will be the one to find her - she was in charge of guarding the crystal. I think she'll be too weak to fight right now though, so I'm worried that she's just going to be used as a Titan Shifter snack :(

Somehow affect Eren's mindset. Not sure exactly how.

Go kiss Armin pls

I'm hoping for Armin to transform into the Colossal Titan. Annie will see this thinking it's Bertoldt, and then have a good character moment upon finding out that Armin ate him.

Her endgame is to at least partially counteract the rumbling with her scream ability.

Confused --> Shocked --> Mad --> or all at the same time. Anyway, she will probably meet up with Armin and the gang and they will explain the shit situation to her and somehow they will come up with a plan or smth.

I think she’ll be forgotten about for a few chapters then show up in the battle. It’ll be interesting to see what side she takes at that point. I’m sure someone will conveniently fill her in on the last few years.

She's a wild card, but the last we saw her she wanted to get back home. I'm sure she will be invested in saving the world from annihilation.

She is FAR away right now. I think dealing with Annie is a good wind-down after all this World-ending stuff has been dealt with, like when they save the Shire after defeating Sauron

Crystallize

Yeet to Marley and die with her papa.

Annie's first move will be to find a toilet sure she must be dying for a pee like

HOW HAS YOUR OPINION ON THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS CHANGED?

Shadis, Jean and Gabi are the big winners in the opinion poll this month with the majority selecting “More Favorable” reaction to them. Shadis had 1379 respondents selecting “more favorable”, Jean had 1076 and Gabi came in third with 980. Fighting titans so soon after surviving a bear attack is impressive, so I’m not surprised with these results. At the other end of the spectrum, Connie (542) and Floch (496) had the most number of “Less Favorable” selections. While the good outweighed the bad, Gabi again proved to be polarizing with 432 people choosing “Less Favorable” despite her positive development this month.

FAVORITE NEW TITAN DESIGN? 1,926 Responses

Isayama’s nods to his television viewing habits continue with the appearance of the “Better Call Saul” titan. Our appreciation of Isayama’s sense of humor continues with more than 50% of us selecting it as “Favorite New Titan Design” (51.5%). Pixis was a distance second with close to a quarter choosing his titan form (23.7%) as their favorite.

Still laughing over the Saul Titan. Good ol' slippin' Jimmy

the Better call Saul titan looks more like Bolsonaro (Brazil's president)

one last hurrah to the Pure Titan mayhem the series was originally known for, and witnessing the tragic end to Nile and Pixis

WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,926 Responses

The three elements of the story which have been absent for months, or even years, take the top overall votes for what the fandom would like to see next. 33.6% are dying to see present-day Levi and Hange again. 24.1% are still eager to get Historia’s perspective. 23.6% are still hoping to one day see Eren’s inner thoughts.

All I want for Christmas....Is Historias POV

I'm missing Connies adventure on the 'What are you hoping to see next chapter?' question.

Bitch give me Levi. It’s been more than half a year.

I literally only care about the 104th characters so the more of them we can see next chapter the better

Give me more Eren action pleaseee

So why is Annie pov not an option for next chapter?

I have waited for 7 years, finally, Annie is back. I wanna see more of her story and character development. I cant wait to see her conversation with Hitch and Armin!

Please Isayama give me more good Shadis content

I really want to see Eren's full complete titan. Issayama, stop blueballing us please!

I would actually like to know more about that spine creature that is evidently the source of Titans.

Is there a Kiyomi option?

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,843 Responses

With close to 200,000 members it’s no surprise that Reddit continues to dominate the discussion field (47.7%), followed distantly by Tumblr (15.5%), Real Life (9.8%) and Discord (6.7%). Amazingly, 9% don’t discuss it at all. This month, FIVE of you said Snapchat, up from four last month, so while there’s still technically a possibility that you guys are actually forming some weird snapchat cult and this isn’t an elaborate psyop, I’m still not convinced. But regardless of where you discuss the series, or if you even do, we truly appreciate your participation in the chapter poll!

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS? 416 Responses

OMG! Okay, it's happening! Everybody stay calm! Annie! Annie! Annie!

Annie got crystalized in chapter 33, and now she's out, 91 chapters later. Since 12 chapters are published in a year, we have been waiting for her (not including flasbacks and her just chilling in the crystal) 7 years and 7 months. I salute all the diehard Annie fans, you had a long wait.

Once again I have marked my calendar. May 9, 2012 - December 5, 2019. After 7 excruciating years our queen is FINALLY awake. This deserves a new record for longest amount of time a character has been comatose in real life. Thank GOD it's finally over I still can't believe it.

I'm a big fan of all of the smaller storylines coming together, hoping for everything to be wrapped up nicely and characters from different factions (i.e Hange, Annie, Historia) all coming together to address the rumbling.

It felt a little like a breather chapter, despite all the action. It was nice to slow down and get some character development for everyone.

“Everyone has a devil in them” is a great message. Hope they all team up and stop Eren. Very curious about what Annie will do!

The parallels to Trost arc were nice, but I felt like the endgame was finally amping up only to be put on hold.

Great chapter! I like Pathland, and the flashback with Levi and Hanji was great, but it was a relief to get some current time action. Gabi is best girl, Armin just went up by leaps and bounds in my book, and Annie is back!! So excited for the next chapter…

Great one ! The fear from the mindless titans in back, like in Trost. Many side characters development/deaths (Nile, Pixis, Shadis, Kaya, Nicolo, Gabi, Annie, Connie, Jean...). So much good stuff, I almost forgot about the rumbling going on !!

Amazing. If Isayama maintains this quality til the end, then this will be one of my favorite series, of any media, ever.

I'm wondering what Annie can realistically do at this point. Sure she beat Eren before but now he's in another level.

Guess we don't have to deal with the genocidal jock for a while

REINER HELOS BRAUN WILL SAVE THE WORLD (after his power nap)

ANNNIIEEEEE; Shadis' comeback was wonderful. I hope he can make up for the loss of Pixis and Erwin and such. He has great potential and he's a well developed character. Jean is asking the real questions, but the showdown between him and Floch is about to go down.

I said previously that if Floch survives I wanted my money back. But you know what? I'll take my refund in Annie store credit. Thanks for that bright spot, Isayama! Also: this chapter pointed out how many good people in the world will suffer if Eren succeeds. And I felt as frustrated with the remnants of the 104th as Gabi. Nicolo and Shadis became my unexpected heroes this chapter.

Is Zeke still alive? Is he still controlling the mindless titans?

Floch didn’t do anything particularly bad this chapter but every time I have to see his face my opinion of him becomes less favorable. When Jean said “so you lived...” I FELT that disappointment lol.

I love the Braun siblings interaction in this chap. And Nicole's "we'll try to get out of the forest" sends chills. I think that's one of the point ISTM is trying to get across.

Does Connie realise that if his mother was given one of the nine titan powers she would be made to fight? Getting one of the titan powers is very much a curse not a blessing (especially with the Jaw titan)

At this point the Eren/Gabi parallels are feeling a little overdone and forced.

If Gabi receives Eren’s Titan it will be the stupidest most disappointing thing to happen in this- no all of manga! Besides, what is the damn point of her “paralleling” Eren anyways? But the Sasha paralleling was even more gnarly YUCK!

It's true that the people of Paradis will benefit from this shit, but I highly disagree with any justification when it comes to Eren's horrible actions. GENOCIDE IS NEVER THE OPTION. I think Jean is disappointed too but he's trying his best to rationalize the crap Eren's carrying out for he still doesn't want to believe his friend is committing genocide. I expect he comes back to his senses soon otherwise I no longer will appreciate him as a character.

That "who are you most disappointed" will sadly be filled with Armin hate tbh. And in the end he was just wanting to avoid unnecessary conflict... tbh Anyone hating on Connie, Gabi and Armin doesn't seems to know how humans emotion work in helpless situations...

What Yams is doing to Connie is further proof he is ruining his main characters (the good ones) to make room for his precious Marley characters (the crappy ones)

Connie's regression and frustration was more and more visible since Sasha died. He's lost everyone close to him. I am happy to see him finally snap at Armin and go his own way. This was foreshadowed for a while now.

I hope Isayama sensei doesn't forget to include World Millitary's raid in the action. They already mention in some previous chapter by Zeke.

Quantity-wise, the chapter wasn't centered around Gabi, okay. But. BUT. Gabi got quite a few powerful scenes, very Gabi-centric scenes, and I'm not happy about that. I don't see how and why the fandom so easily forgave her for what she's done. Isayama drawing parallels between Gabi and Sasha was insulting and distasteful.

It is highly likely that this is the last time we are going to see Pure Titan mayhem in the series now that the Rumbling is taking place, so I think it was great to that focus in this chapter. I thought it was handled well, especially with Shadis's scenes, the parallel of the new recruits seeing the Pure Titans peaking through the hole of the fortress tower much like a similar scene in the Trost arc, the tragedy of seeing Pixis and Nile (two of the last remaining head honchos of the military not counting Hange and Shadis) as Pure Titans and getting killed off for good, and how characters like Armin and Jean fought those Pure Titans.

WARMASTER FLOCKE, TO LEAD THE ARMIES OF ELDIA TO VICTORY! Haha no I guess not. I'm torn between Flocke, Jean, Eren, and Shadis. All could be good picks but all outcomes would have different implications on the story and what it means. I guess if I had to pick, it'll be Shadis or Eren for now and then perhaps Jean later when things have settled and they've grown up more.

I honestly can't keep up with how many faces Floch has.

With how the pacing is handled there's no way this is ending in 6 chapters. The real climax is Eren having to go against his friends because there's no way in hell Mikasa is allowing him to genocide kids

As heartbreaking as this chapter has been, I already had my hopes destroyed when 119 was released. Today has been the confirmation for two awesome characters, who fell because of the non-veteran rule. I don't know why I still hope to see Keith staying alive, but at least we got an awesome moment of his.

Characters are being balanced relatively well. Isayama's got a lot of characters and plot threads to deal with, and while Levi, Hange and Historia are getting less focus than I would like, I think he's doing a pretty good job of keeping each character relevant and giving them all some good arcs/ moments

Everything (except for Gabi scenes) was perfect for me!

Eww Gabi-focused chapter…

I simply hate how cowardy the 104th is acting. It's clear they're only fighting in their own interest and are just pulling excuses after excuses for supporting Eren. At least Floch is honest about it.

Man, the 104th always been the group I care the less in the story, but this chapter they're being so annoying (apart from Mikasa). Well, I can forgive Connie because of everything he went through, but Jean... why are you saying this ""there was no other choice, eren is protecting us"" bs ? Nice of you to be complicit of mass genocide. (Yes, I know his face shows he's conflicted, but he still sides with eren) Also Armin... at least he's horrified at what's Eren's doing but when he said that if they don't kill Falco there would be no conflict with the warriors since Marley will be gone....that's just dumb. Their home and families are going to be destroyed, but ok Armin, go off. And getting into another serumbowl situation, with one of my fave uncounscious while the SC decides who will eat him... I don't like it. (I don't think Falco will be eaten tho, the whole thing raised many death flags on Connie)

Great chap, Isayama seems to finally give closure to certain plot parts. End is near.

Here's a crazy idea: feed GABI to Connie's mom instead of Falco, there would be nowhere near as much arguing with that

Highlights that people can rise above their conditions to become better people, offering a counterargument that humanity should be wiped out.

I don't get why the story pacing was disrupted so much. Why build up to a climatic cliffhanger with the rumbling, only to basically ignore it for the entire following chapter?

I honestly wonder if titan shifting still works as it used to. I'm afraid of seeing Falco get eaten for nothing. Honestly I'm worried about Falco dying for nothing while people right over him as a pawn in general.

Quite interesting chapter. Had fun with it. Much, much slower paced than expected almost. But then again we need time to cover all this stuff. And I'm happy it all took place in the current rather than another flashback. Not really a fan of the Gabi stuff but it is what it is. The other character developments were quite nice. Reiner literally just falling asleep tho lol. Overall I guess I wouldn't say it's a "big" chapter but it is necessary to bridge what came before with whatever comes next. And at long last Annie is back, so that's GLORIOUS.

I hope Annie will have such a big role she gets repaid for the all years she's been gone😞

I hope Isayama uses the slowdown in the pace to better sell the scale of the rumbling, we already see part of that by hoe Eren's dino titan still isnt complete, even after all this time

I love how the story is progressing.The next chapter is always something I personally don't expect and it's always exciting. The hype at the beginning/end of the month is unreal. As for the chapter itself, it's always refreshing to see Jean's perspective on Eren's plans because I love his interpretations on him. #TEAMJAEGER

i love my waifu annie i missed her so much

I love you Connie and I'm sure your mom is nice and all but Falco is a precious bean who needs to be protected.

I really hated the Gabi-Sasha and Gabi-Eren parallels. I also still think Gabi was never needed in this story, in fact I don’t know how I’ll be able to stomach season 4. Ugh, the first half will be completely and utterly Gabified. Gabi in color and motion plus speaking, YUCK! Anyways I hope that the next chapter will have an update on Hange, Levi, and Historia. And maybe Floch getting punched by Shadis that would be the Cherry on top.

It was an average chapter, not bad but nowhere near as good as the previous ones. Plus I'd appreciate if other characters, outside of Gabi, had more spotlight. Her arc and development is done, give more development and screentime to other characters such as Mikasa please.

Just being disappointed. The pacing is very slow. Also the main cast's reactions were too passive. I hated it.

Just great. Just great. The drawings were incredible and the plot just keeps getting better.

Less Gabi, more Historia!

Levi and Hange better return in some way, shape, or form, or Yam's is in for it.

Levi is the new Annie

Love getting to see thoughts from many different characters and where they stand. A lot of them are still left behind trying to rationalise things to make it emotionally palatable, or simply stuck not being able to accept the reality, whereas Gabi has kind of gone ahead and realised there's evil on both sides, and she's willing to kill Eren or work with him if she can best protect the people she cares about (eventually probably not just her friends and family either, but the outside Eldians as a whole).

My baby is back!!!!!!!! I wanna see more of ANNIE!!!!!!

Nicolo talking to Kaya and Gabi was cringey af. Did they really do back to that derpy forest analogy? If this series ends with them holding hands and singing around a campfire imma legit be so disappointed. I need me my Rumbling!

This chapter felt like a nostalgia trip, but I wasn't in for the ride. It was a mess of short catching-up moments when I just want to pick Eren's brain. I want to see Levi and Hange alive or hear what Annie and Historia think about the events, but at the moment I don't care about even those storylines. I just want to know what the relationship between Ymir and Eren is now that the walls came down.

The first panel being Mr. Leonhart was a pretty strong indicator to me that Annie would be released in the last panel, and it was. I felt that to be extremly poetic, and the timing is good too. Another wildcard in the plot. Excellent.

Compared to the previous chapter, this one turned out to be very disappointing. I was excited to see the rumbling and getting a glimpse of Eren’s thoughts and feelings. But instead I got Reiner going to sleep, Gabi being paralleled to Eren (again) and Sasha, the 104th busy arguing over what to do with Falco instead of, you know, focusing on THE RUMBLING

Good chapter, but if S4 is the final season and airs Autumn 2020, and with a monthly release, curious as to how isayama might tie up these "last minute" plot threads such as the new developments with Connie and Falco.

What else can I say except it's amazing and it was worth the wait

Where is Levi damnit

#snk poll #snk poll results #snk chapter poll #snk 124 #snk chapter 124

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