#and I am so done with this sort of bullshit

[threegoldfish]

Tell him I said thank you, Harrow says - follows it up with some more words, an apology even, and Marc presses his lips together into a thin line as they continue to walk closer and closer to that damn supermarket that just exists there like nothing had ever happened to begin with.

The planet continues to spin - had always done such, will always do precisely that in the future. No matter whether someone was shot to death, the entire world about to crumble into pieces, a single individual on a mission with another managing to stop it all from happening in the end. I am sorry, Harrow said to that, and something inside Marc feels the urge to let out a sharp, humorless laugh at that.

---He does not, just remains quiet. Sure thing, not only had that guy who's currently strolling into that damn building with him shot and killed him - he'd also sent a Jackal after Steven, made him lose his job, judged people based on some bullshit that hasn't even happened to begin with, tried to eradicate a good chunk of humanity---

A lot to unpack there, a lot of feelings that bleed into one another, both from Marc and Steven, perhaps a hint of Jake even though he's not around currently. Marc had expected to be done with the whole of what this bullshit is - had told himself he'd worked through it all somehow, as if existing next to his two alters is some sort of therapy for him, making those nightmares and PTSD easier to endure; He was wrong, apparently, because here he is and while he is currently taking that guy with him to buy him something to eat and drink - because fuck, look at Harrow, he's a damn husk of his former self! - he's also struggling with... all of this. The weight that keeps lingering, the truth that makes the air feel thick and hard to breathe.

The inside of that supermarket is as cold and sterile as that damn sign is - but on the better side of things, still. Carries a lot of vegan stuff, so they allow themselves to be a bit more posh, add some decorations here and there, keep the aisles clean and present everything rather nicely; One reason for them to raise the prices, but it's fine, because Marc's kind of a rich bitch thanks to his wannabe-gangster-partner going out at night to do his thing. Lucky Steven getting to enjoy his Almond Milk and vegan treats this way.

A basket is being grabbed at the entrance, a motion Marc has done a million times by now.

"I-I'm... not sure what to say to that.", Steven mutters after a while, having needed a moment there to think about Harrow's apology; A reflection of him pops up when Marc walks along one aisle, existing within a piece of shiny plastic...

"It's alright. No need to even give an answer to begin with." A glance at Steven's expression, silent affirmation, something soft before a gaze hardens again and trails elsewhere.

"---Lets start with something to eat."

Yes, Marc is ignoring the other's previously spoken words on purpose here; A nod over to where some ready to eat meals are, like sandwiches and whatever, he gestures for Harrow to follow him as he makes his way over. "I'm sure you're hungry. Grab something. Anything. ---Or I'll do it myself and you gotta live with whatever I take for you."

It sounds like a mild threat of sorts, but it also doesn't at the same time - more like a joke of sorts, just very dry, plain. Dark eyes linger at the selection in front of them...

"---He's a tour guide now. At the very same museum." A pause. "Steven, I mean. Doing tours for the ancient Egypt exhibition. He's real good at it." Not that Harrow needs to know this little detail, but... well, perhaps Marc just wants to let that man know that his efforts to try and kill Steven - causing in the poor man to be kicked from the museum back then - only managed to give him something better in the end.

If he were a damn kid still, he'd stretch his tongue out at Harrow. He doesn't, obviously, but the urge is there.

Arthur nodded, slow and shallow. He wasn’t here. That should have felt better than it did. The last thing he wanted was for Khonshu to be here - and yet he still found himself disappointed. 

He swallowed, eyes flicking to the supermarket sign that sat up ahead. It was glowing faintly in the grey light of day - too ordinary to be comforting, and yet too mundane to feel real. He wasn’t used to places like this, and he didn’t know if he ever would be. Not when he was used to temples, blood, the community that he had built only to have destroyed around him. 

“Good,” he said eventually, though the word came out strange. Thin.

He didn’t elaborate. He didn’t say that part of him still half-expected to turn his head, and catch that skeletal beak looming over him, the hiss of a voice that curled into his bones. He didn’t say that he sometimes still felt Khonshu’s eyes watching him - that he sometimes missed the structure of it. 

There had been order, at the very least. It had been cruel, it had been twisted and hollow, but it had made sense. 

He preferred the silence, allowing it to sit for just a moment. The world was so much quieter than he’d remembered - sometimes to the point of being painful, and sometimes to the point of being therapeutic. Sometimes it was lonely, sometimes it was relaxing to be so independent. 

He wasn’t certain whether or not he would be better off dead. But with death being a promise at the end of his life, it seemed right to not waste this time. 

Arthur glanced to Marc, and then away. Nothing big, just a small look. “Tell him I said thank you,” he answered, not entirely certain how communications between them worked. “And… that I’m sorry. For everything. And for making him… lose his job.” It felt like a worthless thing to be sorry for, when compared to the worse things he’d done, but it still felt important at the same time. It had been clear that Steven had enjoyed his job, to some extent. 

Arthur liked to think that he wouldn’t’ve attacked him there, had he known that Steven was a separate being from Marc. He knew, however, that he would have done anything Ammit wanted - and she had wanted Marc out of the picture. Rightfully so, seeing as how Marc had been able to singlehandedly undo Arthur’s years of work. 

[sailorsally]

Every invention, every breakthrough by men was enabled by women because their wives took care of their children and home while men were doing these things. Never forget that.

[naomiknight-17]

"Why did you take a picture of your cat dancing on your disability paperwork instead of stopping her?"

Great question, imaginary critical follower!

I was trying to take a picture of the envelope, as I do at several stages, because I am sick of delivering paperwork to the ODSP people and having them go "no you didn't give us that we don't have it do it again and wait several more weeks while we fuck around and you drown in debt while we withhold assistance (: "

So I took a pic of all the papers I submitted. Then a pic of me putting them in the envelope. Then I went to take a pic of the envelope once I sealed it and that is when I ended up with pics of Jill dancing on it because she tried to jump up on me in that moment

And I guess she didn't like the feeling of the envelope under her paws because she did a little stampy-stampy dance on it!

Then I gently removed her from the envelope, and then I went out and put the envelope in the ODSP office drop box, and took several pictures of me doing so as well.

So if they dare to say I failed to submit anything this time, I will show them photographic proof that they are either full of shit or completely incompetent

[mossy-paws]

on a scale of 1-10 how much of the lobotomy co. Fixation do u have

well noting the fact I 100% true ended it as well as completely completed the abnormalities logs writhing ~2-3 months. I would say a 10

[loderlied]

i will go to sleep NOW 🫵 (pointing at myself)

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

over the years, in the pursuit of the things i love and care about, i have truly gotten into an absurd amount of avenues of creation/expression and while i lack proficiency in most all of them, i'll be damned if i ever regret a single one of them

[please-picturemeintheweeds]

..

[vilelittlecritter]

You ever sit in a fandom space for so long that now looking at it kind of makes you want to rip your nails off.

Yeah.

[rapha-reads]

Remember how I was a whooping THREE (3) minutes late for work yesterday? Which didn't impact my work at all, I did my job, everyone was satisfied and all? Well my bosses sent me a mail asking me to come to their office next week so we can "reinforce some dynamics in regards to punctuality".

LIKE HELL I WILL.

Three minutes late EXCEPTIONALLY - I don't make a habit of being late - and it did NOT impact the quality of my job, so you know what, I'm going to involve my union rep and let them deal with them, because y'all do not pay me enough to care.

I am extremely pissed off, I have a tension headache and my eyes hurt too, I haven't eaten much since yesterday and I am, as always, all out of fucks to give. They have no idea who they're trying to mess with.

[slimyenemy]

woah a puppy.....

[arolesbianism]

I <3 making hcs abt how time works in different stories isat is a spiraling arrow oni is line spaghetti and time travel in oni is closer to legitimate time travel than isat. Source: just trust me bro

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

guys i need adderall so fucking bad

[headspace-hotel]

i've been trying to stay off of internet and i've been active on tumblr because I'm too exhausted to do things I normally enjoy. Anyway

Animal enjoyers are mad about the slightly edited wolves that Colossal Biosciences is claiming are "dire wolves." Lots of them didn't read the articles, which would provide more information. However, the journalism about this has been god-awful anyway.

The company is concurrently working on cloning endangered red wolves and figuring out how to bring red wolf/coyote hybrids back into the red wolf gene pool, as per the Time article about it. The project includes one of the biggest names in canid genomics and evolution including pertaining to red wolves, so I am optimistic that red wolves are probably the real aim of the project and the dire wolf bullshit is just a snazzy jurassic park style tagline to snare investors.

However the grift has grifted too close to the sun as according to washington post, trump is using "de-extinction" technology as an excuse to gut the endangered species act (i can't actually read the article unfortunately). The cost of this lie could be very high if the general public thinks that bringing back an extinct species can be easily done by just going into the DNA of an animal that looks sort of similar and tweaking it.

Also somehow, even more infuriating to me, this is going to eternally fuck up the perception of what a dire wolf actually was. As per wikipedia, Aencyon dirus was not closely related to any modern wolves. It is over 5 million years separate from them. It was essentially not a "wolf" at all. You might as well try to create a dire wolf by modifying a jackal or an African wild dog. You might as well call the dire wolf a dire jackal or a dire dog.

Dire wolves were not that much bigger than wolves. They were maybe 20% bigger and their size range overlaps with the northern-most wolves of today.

Even the articles critical of the supposed "de-extinction" are fucking it up! The not-actually-legit "dire wolf" puppies have white fur, and the journalists are uncritically repeating the idea that dire wolves were white, when that isn't something we know about them. The white fur is based off of the fantasy creature of the same name in Game of Thrones.

That's just flat-out embarrassing.

[badbtssmut]

Magic Stick

Jungkook is kinda sad because he has never been with a girl who could take him balls deep because of his size, reader doesn't believe him and she wants to see, but he tells her that he can't atm bc he's not hard. She is wearing this kinda halter top style with no bra so she looses the top and shows her tits to him and let's him touch them. After he's hard he shows her his dick and she says she's willing to try to take it all and she rides him into the sunset

Admin note: idea by anon

Contains: Big dick JK, handjob, some boobplay, missionary, riding, reader expresses that she is uncertain if it will fit, it takes some time getting it fully in ;), reader whimpers a bit, JK’s ex cheated on him, jk cums a lot

—

“What’s wrong with you?” You glanced over to your best friend, he has been in a horrible mood for a week and no one knew why. Not even your mutual friends knew what was up with Jungkook.

”It’s nothing.” He mumbled in response.

“Come on, I can tell something is bothering you.” You pushed.

"Fine. My girlfriend broke up with me.” He finally cracked.

"Wait, what?” You stood from the dining table, and inched closer to Jungkook who was sitting on the sofa. “Why’d she do that?" You question, shocked by the sudden news. "You two seemed so happy. What happened?"

"She… she was cheating on me.” He confessed.

"Are you fucking kidding me? What a bitch." You really couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Don’t blame her, I guess.” Jungkook said and shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't be silly. You’re too forgiving." You sighed.

"It's not that. The sex, my size— it just never worked out in bed. It was never a good fit." Jungkook confessed, a tinge of sadness in his voice.

"So, you're saying, she dumped you ‘cause of your dick size? The fuck? That's just shallow. Why would she do that?" You sat next to him.

"Yeah, it didn’t fit, literally. I’d hurt her, it wasn’t going to work out from the start. We tried a few times, but the whole experience was just awful. I guess she couldn't stand it anymore." He said, defeated.

“That doesn't make any sense, surely you aren’t that big? Are you sure she’s not just making excuses?” You couldn’t believe his ex would end things with him over his size.

"No, I am that big." Jungkook replied.

"Really?" You were skeptical.

"I've always had a big dick." He added.

"Show me."

"What?"

"Show me." You repeated. “I just want to know if you’re bullshitting or not.”

"No." He declined, looking at you as if you said the most ridiculous thing ever, clearly embarrassed by your request.

"Oh, come oooon, we are best friends. It’s not like I’ve never seen a dick before in my life." You rolled your eyes. "I'm not going to judge you, I promise. Just let me see."

"Fine." Jungkook sighed. "But… I’m not hard now.” He muttered.

“Will my boobs make you hard?“

“Hell yeah. You got great tits." He said, a bit too enthusiastic, as if he had been dreaming of the day you’d offer your tits in return to see his cock. You stood right in front of him, loosening the straps of your halter top. His mouth was slightly open, as he looked at you, completely mesmerized. You removed the straps from your shoulders and let the shirt fall to your tummy, revealing your breasts.

"Like what you see?" You teased.

"Yeah. Very much." He was nearly drooling at the sight.

"Want to touch them?"

"Fuck, yeah." He nodded, eager. You stepped closer and his hands were instantly on you. Squeezing your breasts, rubbing his thumbs on your nipples, taking it all in. When he was done caressing your tits with his hands, he started to suck and lick on them, at which you moaned softly, and the sound of it made him rock hard. He was definitely huge, you could see the tent forming on his pants.

"Are you sure you want to see it? It's… quite big." He was almost apologetic, as if his huge dick was some sort of inconvenience for others.

“I do, show me already.” You chuckled, not sure what he was being shy for.

"Okay." He nodded, unbuckling his belt, and lowering his jeans, together with his boxers.

Holy shit.

How was a dick that big even possible? You didn't even think that dicks like that actually existed. And it wasn't just long, but also thick. No wonder his ex broke up with him. You were pretty sure that dick wouldn't fit anywhere.

"Wow." You couldn't believe your eyes.

"Told you. It's big. You wouldn’t believe me." He shrugged.

"Can I touch it?" You asked, still unable to avert your eyes.

"If you want." He agreed, a little surprised but not put off by the idea.

You grabbed his dick and slowly moved your hand up and down his length, marveling at how big and heavy it was, how thick. His cock was truly impressive, and it seemed to get even bigger as you stroked him. You wondered what it would be like to take him.

“Wow. This is amazing. How can you fit this inside a girl?" You were truly impressed, and couldn't help but keep stroking his cock.

"I can't." He admitted, his breathing starting to quicken. “No girl can take it, they always start out confident but when it’s actually in… they can't take it. Not even halfway through. I have never met a girl that can take me all the way, even the ones that brag about having experience are not able to." He sounded dejected.

"I bet I can." You challenged him.

"No. You can't. There's no way." He scoffed. All of the girls said the exact same thing, and it never worked out, ever.

“Want to bet? If I can’t take it, I’ll give you 200 bucks.” You said, not convinced by his pessimism.

"200 dollars? That's a lot of money." He said, surprised by your proposal, but he shrugged. “But alright, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

—

"Are you sure about this?" He asked, for what seemed to be the hundredth time.

“If you ask me one more time… I will leave." You said, annoyed.

"Sorry. Just don’t want to hurt you." He apologized with a defeated sigh. It made you feel bad for getting annoyed, but Jungkook really had nothing to worry about.

You got this.

Jungkook held onto his cock as he pushed the head of it against your slick pussy lips. Your body tensed a bit, but he took his time, working on you slowly. You breathed deeply and relaxed, spreading your legs further as his shaft dragged against your sensitive skin. His cock was so hard and thick that it rubbed against every single inch of your folds.

Jungkook continued to move his hips back and forth, his errection dragging against your clit with each thrust. The sensation was amazing, and your body was trembling in pleasure, and he wasn’t even in yet.

The tip poked against your lower belly as he continued to rub the shaft against your pussy, his hips moving slow and steady.

“Want it.” You whined.

“Yeah?” He whispered.

"Yeah."

He lined himself up with your entrance, pressing the head against it. You tilted your head back, fuck, that was only the head, how could you feel this full already?

Jungkook began to slide his cock into your wet, aching pussy. His cock was stretching you out so wide, it felt incredible. He stopped when the head was all the way in, giving you a moment to adjust. Jungkook slowly pushed his cock deeper inside you, inch by inch. You could feel his cock filling up every inch of you, the stretch and pressure so intense, it was almost too much.

"Shit, you’re stretching me so good…” You moaned, as his cock kept going deeper.

"How are you taking it so well? I can't believe you can take it this far, pussy takes big cock so good, baby." He pushed in more, eager to fill you with every inch.

You couldn't speak, the sensations were overwhelming. It felt like your pussy was being stretched to its limits, and there was a pressure deep inside you that made your mind go blank.

Jungkook's cock was buried all the way inside you now. You were filled up completely, and it was the most amazing feeling you'd ever experienced.

"Don’t move,” It felt as if he would rip you in two if he pulled out even a little bit. "Not yet. Give me a minute." You whimpered, as you adjusted to his length and girth.

Jungkook nodded, kissing your neck, his hands cupping your breasts.

“This is how pussy feels, huh? Fuck, this is amazing. So tight, warm, perfect." He whispered against your ear, as he kept his dick deep inside. “It’s like my cock is being choked and squeezed, so good.”

“Told you… I could take it.” You said in a shaky breath, sitting up only to peek at where your bodies were joined, impressed to see how your body managed to take that monster cock in.

“You can move now." You gave him permission.

Jungkook started to move his hips back and forth.

The pressure from his dick was too intense, it felt like you were being split open, and you thought you were going to pass out from how good it felt. You held in your breath, unable to moan as you tilted your head back and closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of his cock stretching you wide.

Whereas you were silent, Jungkook was grunting, groaning, panting, moaning, he couldn’t contain his pleasure. Jungkook was overwhelmed by the feeling of being buried deep inside you. His thrusts were slow and deep, his cock pushing against your inner walls, massaging them.

You opened your eyes and glanced at his face, he looked like he was in ecstasy, his mouth was open and he was moaning with every thrust.

His cock felt incredible, so big, so deep.

You had never felt anything like it before.

"I can't believe I'm fucking a pussy that can take my whole cock. Shit, it feels amazing. Pussy is so tight and wet. So fucking good. Never felt anything like it. Fuck!” Jungkook licked his bottom lip, picking up the pace.

Jungkook was pounding you now, his cock thrusting in and out of your dripping pussy, hitting all the right spots. Fuck, you were seeing stars, your whole body was on fire.

You couldn't stop yourself from screaming in pleasure. You spread your legs as far as you possible could, allowing him to thrust even deeper into you. Jungkook continued his relentless rhythm, his thrusts were hard and fast, the sounds of his cock slamming into your pussy filled the room.

The feeling of his dick filling you up was indescribable, it was pure bliss.

“Want to ride you, want to sit on that cock." You needed to feel in control, and you wanted him to watch you as you sat on his massive dick.

Jungkook pulled out and laid down on the bed, his dick standing straight up, and you couldn’t wait to take it all again.

You straddled his hips, hovering above his erection and you slowly lowered yourself down onto his cock, gasping as it slid into you, the pressure and friction sending waves of pleasure through your body.

Jungkook's hands were on your ass, helping you move up and down on his cock. He was thrusting his hips upward, matching your rhythm, driving his dick even deeper into you.

"God, you look so hot riding my cock. Never would’ve thought to see this.” He bit his lip, his eyes roaming over your body.

"So big…” All you could think of was how his cock felt inside of you, how shallow it might sound… you couldn’t even think of the person attached to it.

Jungkook was now holding onto your hips, pulling you down harder onto his dick. His thrusts were strong, and fast, and it felt so fucking good.

"Fuck, I can't last any longer. Gonna cum soon." His thrusts became erratic and he was moaning loudly, his whole body shaking. You rested your hands on his chest, grinding against him, trying to match his rhythm.

"Y/N… like that, love it just like that." He moaned, his breathing unsteady, his fingers now gripping into your thighs.

“Yes, yes…” You whispered, riding his cock, feeling your own orgasm build up inside of you.

“Ah!” Jungkook beat you to it, his body stiffened as his cum spurted inside of you, filling you up. He was gasping for air, his face was flushed, and his grip on your hips loosened, he ran his fingers through his hair as he squirted his cum deep inside of you. It was as if he had a never ending supply of cum, shooting spurt after spurt, his cock throbbing as it emptied its load inside you.

“Keep going, y/n, you didn’t come yet, I’ll stay hard, take what you need, keep going." He encouraged, his breathing still shaky, his dick was still hard, and it was pulsating inside you.

"Yeah." You whispered, continuing to bounce on his dick, the feeling of his cum inside of you and the sight of him beneath you, sweaty, breathing hard, his hair sticking to his forehead, was so incredibly sexy. The sound of your drenched in cum pussy sucking him back in was loud, his cock coated in your juices and the cum that was spilling out of you was bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

You leaned back, resting your hands on his thighs as you moved up and down, faster, deeper, until you were finally climaxing, your orgasm taking over your body. Your body shook and your eyes fluttered open and shut as the warmth spread through your whole body, you had never felt anything like it before. You could feel the hot cum leaking out of you, and it just kept coming.

Your hips slowed as you rode out your orgasm, and when it was over, you collapsed onto the bed, panting.

“Jungkook?”

“Yeah?”

“You owe me 200 bucks.”

[a-b-riddle]

Part Five

Can't stop thinking about the attempt of reconciliation and reader ain't having it. Our girl is going to be wilddddd y'all. Also goodnight. See y'all tomorrow (maybe)

You call Meredith when you get home.

You. Are. Fuming. She's not sure she can ever remember a time you using so many swear words at one time.

How fucking dare them? Immature? You're the immature one? You were the one trying your best to salvage four failing relationship meanwhile none of those assholes could be bothered to try and keep one. They had one person to manage: you.

"I wanna go out this weekend." "Wear something tight and borderline risk indecent exposure."

"You know what I always say," Meredith begins. "The best way to get over someone-"

"is to get under someone else." You finish. You weren't exactly keen on the idea of bringing someone to your bed just yet, but a little attention would do you some good. "I don't want to fuck someone just yet." You admitted. "I'm more on the getting drunk and making out."

"I didn't know we resorted back secondary school heavy petting?" She teased.

"University, Dear." You corrected. "I didn't peak until after I graduated."

"No." She argued. "You didn't put your books down long enough to realize that boys actually wanted to fuck you." You were glad she couldn't see you roll your eyes. "Saturday work for you? I have a late night Friday and won't be up for it."

"That works."

"Sorry." She apologized. "I plan on getting you absolutely smashed so I need to be ready to play the nanny. I know how you love to get drunk and run off."

It was true. You had always found it hilarious when you were drunk to just run. Quite literally run away. It got to a point during university where Meredith would handcuff you to her so you didn't stray.

"I won't run." Your sober mind promised.

"Uh huh." Meredith's tone told you that she knew that was a load of shit. "I'll text Tabs. Let her know the plan."

The next day at the shop was pretty uneventful. No more unexpected visitors. You still had them all blocked. Not caring if now they decided to offer up some bullshit apology.

Months. This had been a steady decline for six months. A text or a simply sorry won't fix this. You weren't sure anything could.

But it didn't matter. You were done and they obviously were too.

You had picked up enough take out to feed a family, but you didn't plan on making your lunch before work or cooking when you got home. The rest of the week you planned on just going through the motions until you could go out Saturday and hopefully get everything out.

You weren't paying attention as you walked down the hallway to your flat. Fishing in your purse for keys. You were at almost at your door when you saw him.

Sitting next to your door was a familiar face. A face you felt you haven't seen in forever.

“What are you doing here, Kyle?" Your voice was flat as you continued to blindly try and find your keys with one hand. Fuck. You really need to clean out your purse...

“My key wouldn’t work.” He explained. "So I’m out here.”

"I'm aware why you're not in my apartment since I changed the locks," you said, trying to keep your irritation at bay. "What I am asking is why did you come here?"

"You won't return any of our messages."

"You're all blocked, so technically I didn't really get any messages." "Besides, you don't get to complain to me about not responding to texts, Kyle Garrick." Your fingers finally wraps around them. God bless. "If you're here for your things, it'll have to wait. I have to sort through everyone's shit and I don't know whose is whose."

"We need to talk." He explains as you put the key into the lock, opening the door.

"Nah," you say scrunching your nose in that way he used to adore. "I'm good. But you can swing by tomorrow and pick up your things if you'd like." You say before trying to shut the door on him. You were stupid in thinking you could be faster than him.

Dammit.

"I know things haven't been good and I've definitely could have been better,'' he admits. "But can you at least try and let us apologize? Let us try and work it out."

"No." You answered, trying to close the door. Not caring if you had to resort to kicking his shins to get him out.

"Why not?" He countered.

“Maybe because I've already tried, Kyle?” You gave up on trying to shut him out. You were strong, but he didn't have any issues in besting you. “Because I actually tried with you. With all of you. You didn’t need to come here giving me excuses about your life being hectic because I’ve made the excuses for you.” You didn't miss how he practically flinched. He had always blamed his busy life. Family. Work. You stopped caring about whatever excuse he gave you and realized it was just that. An excuse. “I’ve been telling myself for months that everything you guys didn’t do for me wasn’t because you didn’t care about me. It was because of the stress of your deployments is the reason none of you tell me when you get back from until it’s time to fuck. I tell myself it’s because of the fucked up situation of me being with all of you that makes it awkward to meet your families. Families you all have that I now know I’m not worthy of meeting.” He wanted to correct you. You were. You were worthy. He was an idiot. “It’s not that I need your excuses to make me feel like what you did was justified. No matter what it was, it was apparently to you because you did it.”

He took a step back, processing everything you had said. He had been selfish. You were the reliable constant in his life. Someone he believed he never disappointed. Someone he couldn't disappoint no matter how many times he fucked up.

You took the opportunity to slam the door. Quickly turning the lock before he had a chance to open it back up.

God...

That felt good.

You had spent that evening collecting their thing in case Kyle did show back up tomorrow. You wouldn't make their lives easier by sorting all their shit and organizing it. Everything. One box. Let them figure it out. You almost had a mind to add a shirt that you knew didn't belong to any of them just to have them argue over it. Or least make them think there was someone else...

You were almost tempted if not for the premise that you wanted them to realize this was their fault. Their fuck up. But now that you were officially all broken up, you were free game.

[mr-jack-letterman]

We need more young stan content out here.

And nah I ain't talking about 12 year old Stanley or 30 year old mullet Stan, I'm talking 17 year old, slicked back hair, acne riddled Stan pines.

Yeah that one.

I am so happy mullet Stan is so popular because his fit slaps ngl and the angst is so potent I can't not respect it. But teenage Stan has so much potential it's driving me insane.

There is a line dividing the 17 years of relative happiness Stan had with Ford and the 10+ years of depression and crime he had on the streets, and teenage Stan uses that line as a goddamn jump rope.

Seriously, depending on how you look at it dude is either living his best life or is fighting for said life in the trenches of homelessness and poverty.

I see a lot of content regarding Stan on the streets but it only ever focuses on 30ish Stan in his later years of homelessness where he's already a hardened adult after years of dealing with this bullshit. But Stan didn't just drive away and then magically turn 30. There were times in those first few months after Stan got kicked out where he was in his car, trying to sleep, probably starving, while still being fundamentally a child.

Hell, compared to the 30ish age of mullet Stan and the 60+ year old con man he'd later become, teenage Stan is damn near a baby. There's a certain brightness about him, a sort of warm naive optimism that still clings to him because he's straight up just too young to know any better.

He's still fully convinced he's gonna make it rich and go back to his family in a few years. He still believes wholeheartedly that even if shit sucks right now, eventually everything is gonna be okay. It has to be. But it's not gonna be okay. It's not gonna be okay for a long time. And some parts are just never gonna be okay.

Seeing a happy and oblivious teenage Stan feels like watching a baby lamb walk into a slaughter house.

The next 10-something years are going to tear him apart limb from limb. In 40 years he's going to wake up on a boat during a bout of amnesia thinking he's in Columbian prison, or he's locked in the trunk of a car and about to drown, or his shoulder is on fire and his brother is gone, or it's the end of the world and everyone he ever dared to give a shit about is about to die in front of him and it's all his fault because he was too weak to stop it.

At some point, a young Stanley is going to get into his first true life or death fight. He doesn't even have to be involved with crime yet for it to happen. He's probably bruised and bleeding, with not nearly enough money to afford a doctor. He's sitting in the driver's seat of his El Diablo having a complete and utter break down because he almost died and suddenly everything is real.

Nothing is okay, absolutely nothing is going to be okay and whatever is left of his teenage innocence, naivety, and warmth dies in that car and it never comes back.

The next 10+ years are going to fundamentally change Stanley as a person and he's never going to be the same ever again. But teenage Stan doesn't know that, he's still a kid trying to sleep in the back of his car, ignoring hunger pangs and finding comfort in the half baked business ideas his mind cooks up because he doesn't understand how utterly done for he is.

12 year old Stanley I believe is so appealing because of his bright rambunctious spirit. He's still just a kid playing on the beach with his brother, but so was teenage Stan. I just wish the wholesomeness that comes with that and the subsequent hurt that follows as that spirit is broken over and over again by the world was explored more.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.