#and I demonizing myself for feeling friendship? is that what’s going on?

[cherrysnax]

ugh I thought I got over this thing in high school

[lawrence-songs]

An anon, meaning well: how does interacting with bendykins feel?

Me, attempting to restrain myself to the best of my ability: ahem. I mean. It's wonderful.

[golbrocklovely]

only a dream // sam and colby

A/N: i haven't written a fic since october of 2024..... so i might be just a twinge rusty lol but hopefully you enjoy this one. at least i'm coming back to you with some smut. also fun fact, this actually came to me in a dream, and i just had to write it bc it was too good. lmk what you think and hope you enjoy ;)

prompt: you, sam, and colby decide to investigate an old haunted hotel, famous for its fourth floor incubus. you were nervous to sleep over, but knowing sam and colby would be with you made you feel safe. or at least, that's what you thought. || sam and colby x fem!reader

trigger warning: SMUT (but no actual sex), thigh riding, cursing, no solby, talks of demons/incubus so be weary of that if that isn't your thing, haunted location, mentions of: baby, good girl, sexual language, little bit of angst, not a happy ending (but not a bad ending either??)

word count: 3785

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I cannot believe you guys persuaded me to sleep here tonight." I grumbled, throwing my bag down on the bed.

Sam laughed, "Well, at least you don't have the room Colby's staying in. The Haunted Prostitute's room."

"Hey now," Colby interjected, scrunching his face. "Her name is Lady Mandy and she was really cool when we did the Este's Method in her room."

I smirked, side-eyeing Sam, "He's just upset she asked for $20 from him but only $10 from you to stay the night."

Sam deadpanned. "That's because she knows he's easy."

"Or that you're not a good lay." Colby quipped.

Sam looked at him smugly. "I've never had any complaints."

"Can you two stop bickering and tell me what's up with this room..." I glanced around it quickly, "Other than it being old and a bit dusty?"

"This whole floor is known for having a sexual demon on it, an incubus possibly, that likes touching female guests. This room has had multiple female guests say they’ve been touched or scratched." Sam stated.

I sighed, "Awesome. Love that for me."

"Well, we have been on this floor all night, and nothing has happened to you physically. The only thing was those words said to you during the Este’s Method." Sam mentioned.

I shrugged, "Yeah, other than feeling like I had eyes on me. And nothing was said to me in the last EVP session we did either. But still... I don't like being on this floor by myself."

Colby gathered his bag, chiming in. "We are both gonna be upstairs. Just one to two flights away. If you get scared, I'm in room 505 and he's in room 610. You have our spare keys, right?"

I confirmed, "Yep. And you have mine?"

They both nodded. Sam continued, "Okay, let's head up. And remember to set up the time lapse camera once you're in for the night."

I gave a thumbs up lazily. "Gotcha."

Sam and Colby waved goodbye, Colby being the last to leave. "Hey, are you sure you don't mind being here by yourself? If you can't do it, we'll understand."

"No. I'll be okay. But if not, you'll be seeing me." I remarked, only semi-jokingly.

He inhaled. "Okay. I will probably be up for a while, so let me know if you need anything."

"I will. Thanks, Colby." I half-heartedly smiled.

He grinned, his dimples appearing, "Don't mention it."

He closed the door softly. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my beating heart.

I wasn't sure if it was beating because of the anxiety of sleeping in a possibly haunted room or the fact that Colby smiled at me like that.

It was a weird feeling, having a crush on both your friends. I had known them for years, seen them go through deep relationships and random hook ups. And now was the first time we were all single together.

There was never a time that my feelings for them weren’t here; always just under the surface. I pushed them to the side often because I would rather keep our friendship, that I held so close to my heart, alive and well than fuck it up with a relationship. My past dating history showed I wasn't ready for a new one, so pining for them from afar was my only choice. The safest choice.

But this also meant that because I liked them so much, I would do almost anything for them. Including going to haunted locations that I should not be in whatsoever.

I exhaled dramatically, flopping down onto the bed.

All things considered, this room wasn't the worst. Neither was this hotel for that matter.

I had seen the places Sam and Colby had gone to over the years. And there were much scarier places than this. The lore for this hotel was intriguing; especially this apparent incubus that the owner raved about, but nothing ever showed it besides a few choice words during the Estes Method. The lack of activity in this place is why the boys thought about doing time lapse cameras in our rooms to see if anything is captured while we slept. A cool idea, but not one I was looking forward to.

If anything shows up on that camera in the morning, I'm going to drop dead. Or at least shit my pants.

I pulled out my pjs from my suitcase, along with my carrying case of bathroom essentials. I trudged into the bathroom, flipped on the dull fluorescent light, and began to get ready for bed.

It was nerve wracking knowing that we were the only ones in the hotel, minus a stray two or three other guests all the way down on the first floor. The owners of this small hotel gave us an all-access pass during their off season to come in and investigate, which led to us having the whole place basically to ourselves. That was great in a way because it meant no one was going to interrupt our investigation.

But being in a hotel and not seeing anyone around felt like a liminal space. It also didn't help that the rooms we were staying in clearly hadn't had guests in them for months. The owners saved them just for us.

I finished brushing my teeth and washing my face, quickly changing into my clothes for bed; a big shirt and comfy sleep shorts. The room wasn't too cold or hot, thank God, so sleeping in these would be just fine.

I laid in bed for a while, scrolling through every app on my phone. I was nervous to sleep, unsure of what was to happen during the night. I prayed that nothing would, even if that meant Sam and Colby's video would be boring for fans.

Once I could feel sleep creeping up on me, I got out of bed begrudgingly and set up the time lapse camera. I crawled into bed, turned out the light, and stared at the ceiling. In the corner of the room, I could see the tiny red light of the camera, letting me know it was filming me. I turned over onto my side, closed my eyes, and somehow dozed off.

Because of how silent my room was, the littlest bit of noise was going to wake me. However, I didn't imagine I would hear my door opening and closing.

I popped my eyes open, my heart thrumming nervously. My body was cold with fear as I laid frozen.

"Y/N... you awake?" I heard a voice whisper.

I peaked out of the corner of my eye. Two figures stood at the end of my bed. I reached for the light next to me, flicking it on.

It was Sam and Colby, staring at me with semi-worried and tired expressions. I exhaled deeply, shaking my head.

"Holy shit guys. You almost gave me a heart attack!" I whisper-yelled.

"Sorry. We didn't mean to scare you. But... we gotta sleep in here tonight." Sam blurted out, coming around to one side of my bed.

"What why?" I mumbled, putting my head back down on the pillow, annoyed.

"There was some freaky stuff happening in both our rooms. Neither one of us can sleep, so we figured that we would just sleep in here with you." He explained, getting into bed behind me.

"Are the both of you sharing this bed with me?" I questioned sleepily.

"Yeah, if you don't mind." Colby replied, getting in on the other side of me; the boys sandwiching me in.

I yawned, "Whatever. You're lucky it's a king size bed."

Colby turned out the light, placing his head down on the pillow. "Night." He whispered. Sam followed suit, mumbling a 'goodnight'.

I hummed, falling asleep immediately.

I wasn't sure how long I slept, but I felt comfortable and safe squished between Sam and Colby. No dreams came, but when I stirred awake, I didn't feel all that rested. My body was warm, heat radiating from my cheeks and face.

I felt a light fan of air hit my face, a body very close to mine. A leg was tangled in between my own, a knee brushing my lower thigh. Behind me, another body was pressed against me, our backs touching.

"Y/N..." A voice murmured lowly.

I squinted one eye open, my vision adjusting to the darkness of the room; the only light coming from the moon peeking through the curtains. My eyes fluttered, and once they opened fully, I was face-to-face with Colby.

"Colby?" I said groggily. 

"Were you having a nightmare? You were making some... weird noises in your sleep." He asked.

I muttered, "No. Wasn't really dreaming."

He shook his head, moving on, "Even though we didn't get that much evidence, this place does feel odd."

I agreed, "Yeah."

His eyes softened. "How does this room make you feel?"

"Um..." I cleared my throat, waking up a bit more. "Not as bad as the other rooms, I guess."

"That's good. You know, you had me worried there. After the Estes Method." He admitted, moving an inch closer.

I furrowed my brow, "Really? Why?"

"When you and Sam were talking about the words that were coming through, that lined up with sex demon... you looked really scared." Colby informed, his eyes meeting mine.

I was surprised, "I did? Hmm... I mean, it was creepy to hear my own name come through."

"What were the words that concerned you again?" He queried. 

As I went to say them, Sam turned over in his sleep, his arm draping over my hip lazily. He exhaled deeply, a light snore leaving his lips. "It was my name, 'desire', 'tonight', and 'pleasure'."

"That's right. That is creepy." Colby frowned.

I snickered, "Right? No thanks."

He smirked, "Well you don't have to worry. Me and Sam are here to protect you."

I bit my lip, my eyes fluttering at his words. "That's sweet of you to say." 

"We always want to make you happy, just like you make us." He responded, his tone sincere.

"You do. You both mean so much to me. Our friendship is everything to me." I answered candidly.

Colby grew quiet for a moment, the air suddenly feeling thick. I was growing dreary again, the silence lulling me back to sleep.

"Is that why you pretend to not have feelings for us?"

My breath hitched in my throat, my heart skipping a beat. I popped my eyes open, gazing directly into Colby's.

"W-What?" I stammered.

"You like me, and Sam... Don't you?" He raised an eyebrow, leaning towards me.

I shifted under his stare, my body growing hot instantly. My throat felt dry, mouth unable to form words.

Colby continued, "It's okay. You don't have to say anything. We already both know."

My face dropped as I studied his own. He was so calm about this, meanwhile my heart was about ready to burst through my chest. I swallowed hard, exhaling and ignoring Colby’s gaze. “How long have you known… that I-I’ve liked… you?”

"A while. Sam pointed it out to me once and then it just became noticeable. You’re not as slick as you think." He laughed quietly.

My mind was reeling, unable to process everything at once. I became acutely aware of everything around me. Sam was almost draped over me, Colby’s leg was pressed in between my own. I could feel their breaths hitting me simultaneously. My heart banged against my ribs, pulsing in my ears.

"Don’t be so nervous, Y/N," Sam murmured suddenly, his voice low and husky from sleep. "It’s okay if you like us."

I shuttered, "B-but our friendship-"

"Can still exist. Even if you like us." He commented, cutting me off.

"Especially if... we like you too." Colby added.

My eyes flickered to Colby’s face, widening. His expression was almost unreadable. But his words sounded simple, like what he said was fact.

"W-what?" I stuttered, my breath shallow.

"Is it weird if I say I thought you looked beautiful during the investigation? When we were reading the history of this place to the camera, and you were just watching us, it was so hard to keep my eyes off of you." Colby changed the subject, confessing and scooting closer to me in bed, our noses almost touching.

Sam hummed, his voice raising the hairs on my neck. "I liked the way you felt in my arms when you jumped into them when the R.E.M pod went off. I always wanted to protect you."

Colby agreed, "Sometimes we argue with each other when the other gets to touch you too much."

My eyes fluttered, my chest heaving with ragged breaths. “Are you guys joking right now?”

"We would never joke about this. You mean so much to us, Y/N." Sam spoke, quietly but firm.

"Can I kiss you?" Colby asked, pulling my attention back to him. 

"Yes." I replied, shocked by my own voice. The desperation, the breathy word sounding foreign to my own ears. 

Colby smiled, leaning in and kissing me tenderly. It was gentle, but I could feel his passion being held back by him. I breathed in the kiss, a whimper falling from my lips.

Sam’s hand snaked around me, up my chest and cupped my throat. He held me, pulling me away from Colby. “My turn, please.”

My head turned with Sam’s help, our lips locking instantly. He pressed his body closer to mine, his hips pushing against my ass as his tongue teased my mouth.

Colby’s leg moved up, separating my legs apart more, pressing into my core. My wet panties rubbed against my aching center, suddenly making me aware how turned on I had become by their words.

I gasped, ripping my mouth away from Sam. "W-what are you doing?"

"Just trying to make you feel good. Do you want me to stop? Whatever you want, I’ll do." Colby’s eyes narrowed, darkening with lust.

Sam’s mouth connected with my earlobe, nibbling softly. "Tell him what you want."

"Should we do this?" I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to reset my brain. It was hard to think with both of them so close to me. "If we cross this boundary, we can’t go back."

"If it’s what you want, then let’s do it. We just want to make you feel good, baby. Please let us." Colby pleaded lowly, his lips brushing against mine.

"Please, Y/N. We want it just as much as you do. Can you feel that?" Sam whispered, his crotch grinding against my ass lazily. I felt his growing hardness press into me, my mouth falling open in a silent gasp. Colby cupped my wrist, dragging my hand down his abs, stopping just above his bulge. I could feel it, clothed and erect, brushing up against my fingers.

Colby began to pull his leg away, his hold on my hand loosening. I gripped his forearm, shuddering a breath. "Don’t stop."

Colby smirked, a seductive laugh came from Sam. "Good girl."

He nudged his leg back up, his lower thigh pushing against my aching middle. I whined, feeling my body grind down against his thigh.

Sam's voice came out in a husky purr, "That's it baby, ride his thigh. Get yourself nice and wet for us."

"She's already wet. I can feel her through her shorts. She soaked through." Colby chuckled darkly.

"Really, Y/N? We barely did anything to you, and you're already this wet." Sam's lips tickled my ear as he whispered, "You're so desperate, huh?"

I nodded mindlessly, bucking my hips slowly on Colby's thigh. I couldn't believe this was happening. And I couldn't stop myself from enjoying the sensations.

Colby leaned forward, kissing me again. As he did, Sam's mouth found my neck, sucking and biting the sensitive areas. Hands found my breasts, making me moan into the kiss. Colby's tongue snaked in, my body growing hotter by the second.

"Fuck! Keep grinding against me, baby. That feels so good." Sam grunted, his clothed cock pressed firmly against my ass as I moved back and forth on Colby's thigh.

"Touch me, Y/N. Give me some relief, please sweetheart." Colby huffed, grabbing my hand and lowering it to his erection. I cupped him softly, rubbing my hand in circular motions. He sighed, his lips finding mine again.

I melted into the kiss, letting my body go on autopilot. I could feel myself getting closer to an orgasm, each thrust against Colby's thigh causing the pleasure to grow and grow.

Colby let out a guttural breath, pushing his dick harder into my hand. "We should have done this sooner. I can't believe we waited until now."

"I wanted you both for so long." I confessed, whimpering mindlessly.

"And now you can have us. Whenever you want." Sam hissed, his voice dripping with need.

I gasped, my hips bucking faster. I could feel a light layer of sweat form on my skin, my clothes sticking to me.

"You close, Y/N? Are you gonna come for us?" Colby's eyes locked with mine intensely.

I nodded, unable to form words, not trusting my voice.

"We barely touched you and you're gonna come. Imagine how good it will feel when we're inside you..." Sam smirked against my skin, breathing heavy.

I swallowed hard, "F-Fuck, I'm so close."

"Grind harder, baby. Ride my thigh like it's my dick." Colby demanded, his tone depraved.

I whined, panting as I sped up my hips. I gripped onto Sam's arm and Colby's shirt with my hands, needing to steady myself. I locked eyes with Colby, struggling to keep from rolling mine in pleasure.

"That's it, Y/N. Be a good girl for us." Sam leaned in, his lips pressed against my ear, "Come."

Colby narrowed his eyes lustfully, "Do it, baby. Come now."

Ecstasy exploded throughout my body, my orgasm hitting me deeply. I writhed in pleasure, bucking my hips with abandonment. I squeezed my eyes shut, silent cries falling from my mouth. My grip on the boys loosened as the pleasure slowed down. I mewled in a low tone, my body becoming heavy with sleep. My breathing steadied, the afterglow of my orgasm coursing through my body and lulling me unconscious.

When I woke, it was bright outside, the light cascading through the blinds and shining in my room. I was alone, my bed looking almost undisturbed.

I took in my surroundings, confused. A wave of sadness hit me for a moment. Did both of them really leave me in the middle of night? After everything we did last night, I hoped they would have stayed so we could talk.

My eyes widened as the camera came into view. Fuck! I forgot that was on last night. I stumbled out of bed, walking over to it awkwardly. I turned it off, saving the footage to the camera's storage. I waited for it to load back up so I could watch. I wasn't sure how much it would have caught last night, silently hoping the footage was suspiciously gone.

I began watching the footage, speeding through it as quickly as I could. I waited for Sam and Colby to appear, wondering what time they left too. I slowed the film down, my eyes taking in the events that unfolded. The door to my bedroom never opened, but I sat up in bed, turning the light on. I could see myself talking to something, flopping back down asleep. The light turned off on its own, no one getting into bed beside me. In horror I watched as my body twisted in pleasure, mimicking the movements I was making against Sam and Colby last night.

Or... what I thought was Sam and Colby.

That was all a dream. They never came into my room. They never confessed to knowing about my feelings or having feelings for me. They were never here!

The incubus...

I chucked the camera on the bed, a chill running up my spine. I raced over to my phone, texting Sam and Colby to come to my room ASAP.

They arrived a couple minutes later, confused as to my panic. I showed them the footage, watching them stare at the small screen in bewilderment.

"What were you dreaming about? Your body is moving... an awful lot in the video." Colby asked, looking up at me from the camera.

I blush, not sure what to say. Thank God there is no audio on the time lapse cameras. "Um... let's just say it was a NSFW type of dream."

"Oh...." He paused, then cocked his head, "Wait. Do you think it was...?"

"The incubus?" I suggested. Their eyes shifted away from me as I nodded, "...Yeah. At least, it’s  possibility."

Sam gaped down at the camera, "Wow, that's crazy! This footage is unbelievable."

Colby snickered, trying to lighten the mood. "Who did you have sex with in your dream?"

My eyes ignored their gaze, "Uh... no one in particular. Or I-uh, couldn't place the face."

"Even weirder. I'm gonna take this back to my room and save it onto my laptop. I do not want this footage to get corrupted or accidentally deleted." Sam responded, leaving my room quickly with the camera in hand.

Colby stood in my room, studying me as I sat awkwardly on the bed. I bit my lip, doing my best to not meet his stare.

He stepped towards me, "Are you okay? I can't imagine what's going through your head."

I exhaled tiredly, "I've been better. I just can't believe that dream last night wasn't real. It just felt so..."

"Real?" He replied, biting back a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." I jokingly glared, rolling my eyes at him. But then I sighed, my shoulders slumping. "I should have known better though."

"About what?" He questioned.

"That something like that wouldn't happen." I whispered, unable to hide the disappointment in my voice.

He furrowed his brow, "Something like what? A man having sex with you?"

"The person... people, in question. They wouldn't have sex with me." I commented, standing up.

"Oh? There were multiple? Kinky." He remarked sarcastically.

I continued, "I confessed something to them, and they confessed back. I should have known that would never happen."

"Hey, you never know." Colby cupped my arm gently, "You are an amazing person, and anyone would be lucky to be with you, Y/N. Don't sell yourself short."

"Thank you. I appreciate that." I hugged him tightly, pulling him as close as I could.

"That's what friends are for." He stated, rubbing my back sweetly.

I tried not to wince at his words, nodding my head. "Yep... friends."

[chanafehs]

My Veilguard review:

Note - I will be honest in saying this is very long and very negative. If you enjoy this game please don't let me be the one to ruin that for you and skip on this post. I will be discussing spoilers. This is just my opinion so please don't crucify me for it.

I think my thoughts about this game were shaky to begin with as I had been exposed to different spoilers and information before the launch. I wasn’t actually expecting this game to be amazing but as someone whose favorite Dragon Age game is Dragon Age 2, which is arguably the weakest in the series (until now), I still went in with the impression I would have a good time regardless. I did not have that at all, in fact towards the end of Act 2 and the beginning of Act 3 all I wanted was for the game to be over. 

The problems for me really started right in the beginning with the Inquisitor character choices and their characterization. No choices for your Warden, no choices for your Hawke, and only three choices for your Inquisitor out of the dozens you made in Inquisition. The romance option just felt like a very polite way of asking if you romanced Solas or not, especially after completing the game where your non-solas romance will only get one letter for you to read, outside of that, the Inquisitor will not even mention them. Disbanding the Inquisition meant basically nothing and vowing to stop Solas felt like it had little bearing on what my Inquisitor said when she showed up. 

The time frame to make Dragon Age 2 was just over a year and somehow included more choices from Origins than Veilguard did with over ten years of production. That is the information that's been banging around in my head throughout this entire game. In Dragon Age 2, we get the consequences of our decisions with Alistair’s fate and we get extra dialogue concerning Isabela/Zevran/Leliana/Anders/Nathaniel + some sidequests. Veilguard couldn’t even give us so much of a mention of our Inquisitor’s friendships and the consequences of those friendships outside of Solas. The Inquisitors themselves are locked into one personality type as well, and regardless if you choose to stop Solas or not, they are very amicable toward him. 

During the second cut scene you get with the Inquisitor in Dock Town, they will go on to ask you about your progress and then go on about Solas. Mind you, my Inquisitor is extremely unsympathetic to Solas and I chose the option to stop him no matter what, so why is it that every time I speak to her, she keeps trying to ask me if Solas is being genuine and that he was her friend? That doesn’t sound like someone who has vowed to stop him. They will also try to draw parallels between you, Rook, and Solas. Even at the end of the game, they will still try to appeal to you to see reason with him. That is essentially all the Inquisitor is there for. Incredibly frustrating. 

Throughout the game you will get missives from the Inquisitor detailing the devastation that is being brought to southern Thedas and every letter feels like more and more of an insult. To keep it short: Southern Thedas as we know it has been essentially wiped out. I think that deserves more than a footnote in some missive most players aren’t even going to see.

So the setting we spent all three games in, that we saved countless times, had our companions and protagonists die for, gets demolished in the background where we cannot see it. Skyhold had to be taken back from demons and whoops, that's not actually something you can do anything about. Nothing the Warden, Hawke, or the Inquisitor ever did mattered at all and it renders everything from the previous games absolutely irrelevant. 

With that aside, the companions are also another issue for me. I found myself having trouble getting attached to any of them and every single time I recruited one I had the internal question “Why are you even here?” None of their companion quests really tie into the story at large, save maybe Harding and Davrin, and they are incredibly boring save for a few cool moments.

The main appeal of Dragon Age for me is the companions, it’s why Dragon Age 2 is my favorite of the series. Despite the overused environments and the rushed production I still had a great time with it because of the companions. I was actually eager to do the companion quests and learn more about them and how they all fit into the main narrative. Even characters I didn’t like, I still understood why they were important to the story. Like I can’t stand Anders but I know why he is there, he has a purpose.

Every companion is painfully amicable towards you even if you decide to be “stern” towards them. I found myself not caring what dialogue option I chose about them because it made absolutely no difference. There is nice, funny nice, and gentle parenting. That is really all you have to work with in terms of the dialogue wheel. It was more difficult to get disapproval than approval and I can probably count on my fingers every time in this game I actually got companion disapproval. There is only one companion in my playthrough that became hardened, Lucanis, and it had virtually no impact on his character other than the fact he leaves for a couple of saves and comes back to kissing your ass. 

Something I actually really liked about BG3 and the previous Dragon Age games was working for your companion approval - this meant actually learning about your companion and what made them tick. If you don't understand them well enough you get disapproval, when you actually listen to their ideas and thoughts you get approval - there is an active effort to get these things. In Veilguard this does not exist and you are essentially promised approval no matter what, meaning there is no encouragement to know who these people are if they're just going to support you regardless.

I have to agree with the Skillup review they made about this game saying that every dialogue option feels like it was made with HR in the room and I one hundred percent agree. This is not how real people talk to each other. This is how teachers talk to toddlers when they want to explain the virtues of sharing toys with their classmates.

It felt honestly insulting at times to be treated like I don’t understand the concept of bigotry, I still have no idea what they were trying to go for with this, like were they trying to appeal to a market of high school boys who hadn’t discovered what empathy was yet? There is zero trust in the player and every dialogue and decision you make in these moments feels handhold-y and preachy. Like Pixar levels of life lessons you learn.

In the moments where I had to settle arguments over coffee and companions not respecting each other's interests, I could not honestly believe this is the same universe with Loghain Mac Tir, Meredith Stannard, fuck even Corypheus. Humor has always existed in Dragon Age and I love the comedic banter between the characters but it was always humor that served as an escape from the oppressive and dark situation around you, here the dark and oppressive situations feel like an escape from the unrelenting friendliness and tone deafness of your companions. 

The companion I probably had the most issue with was Taash and the way they were handled. I’m not going to get too deep into the Bharv scene because even thinking about it makes me cringe but If someone messed up my pronouns and then immediately dropped to do pushups I am most definitely killing us both. Isabela’s explanation is extremely preachy and she proceeds to do the exact thing she says she hates about people messing up pronouns. Anyways. Moving on. 

Taash I think is a good example of how to not write a multiethnic character. I don’t expect a white person like Trick Weekes to understand the first thing that comes with being multiethnic or having strict parents that intersects with that identity but it is most definitely not whatever the hell this is. 

The only thing I can offer here is that as a multiethnic person (my father is Palestinian and my mother is mainly Irish and Seminole) is that there has never been a point in my life where I felt like I had to choose what culture I am let alone give that choice to someone else in my life I just met.

That’s not what being multiethnic is. I do not have to choose between anything - I am whole and I don't need to cut myself into halves and quarters to be accepted.

It also feels subconsciously like you are supposed to choose Rivain as the Qunari are depicted as bigoted and oppressive as they always have been in this game. Knowing all of this really tainted my experiences with them as a character and I understand a lot of other non-binary individuals love the representation they brought on that level but personally, I’m just tired of “queer representation” always coming with racist undertones. Again, this game feels like it always had white queer people in mind, not lgbt poc. 

These kinds of comments are really only made worse knowing what the Qunari take inspiration from - primarily Black and Brown SWANA Muslims. Why should Trick Weekes have any authority over a questline like that is beyond me. 

Also, this sucked. Especially because they said it to Neve too. I don’t really want my non-binary representation sprinkled with Misogyny as well, especially since we can’t really call Taash out on this comment unless you’re playing a woman (as far as I know).

Aside from Taash, I thought the writing around Harding was strange. Don’t me wrong, I love Harding, but I do not remember her being this friendly and people-pleasing in the Inquisition. If you play as a Dalish elf the first thing she says is she’s surprised that you would care about anyone else - there is absolutely no inclination of this kind of perspective in Veilguard. Additionally, despite knowing everything Solas has done and the consequences that had on her ancestors, she still tries to push you to reason with him?

All of her quests about learning about the Titans, experiencing and embracing their anger, and you still want to appeal to Solas? That was another thing I found so weird about this game, throughout the entire story you are being told again and again that Solas cannot be trusted, he is to blame for everything, and will stab you in the back and yet it seems like every companion tries to push back on you if you agree with this viewpoint? 

Also, something I didn't know at this point of the game but I do now is that Solas had killed Varric and she does know this so why is she acting like this knowing Solas had killed her friend who she spent years with?

Genuinely this whole game felt like: Devs: Solas is a villain

Rook: okay understood

Devs: actually nvm you don't understand him if you think he's a villain

The only companion quests I was actually genuinely interested in were Emmrich and his thoughts around death and becoming a lich. Lucanis' quests had the best boss fights for sure. Outside of that, it felt like “Go here with Bellara” or “Go here with Taash” and it got so grating I couldn’t wait for these quests to be over so I could progress with the main story. It felt like an annoying back-and-forth game to finish a main quest just to finish all the companion quests and then go back to the main quest. Like a list of chores to get through before you can have any fun. 

The inclusion of characters like Morrigan and Isabela in this universe was extremely hollow and they do not feel like the Morrigan and Isabela we know at all. With Morrigan there is a bit of an explanation to this with the essence of Mythal however she reiterates that it is still herself and it is only the memories of Mythal that remain inside of her.

In my canon playthroughs of Dragon Age, I romanced both Morrigan and Isabela, so I was curious to see how the developers would address their pasts with our Warden and Hawke. Unfortunately, the answer is that they don’t address it at all. Morrigan hardly mentions her past, leaving us to wonder if Kieran even exists. The game implies that the relationship between Morrigan and the Warden is insignificant; a codex entry oddly suggests, in a very slut-shamey way, that Morrigan had more lovers than there are trees in the forest. Isabela doesn't reference Hawke either, as she fondly remembers Kirkwall for found family and friendship. It seems that if you romanced Isabela or Morrigan, congratulations—your canon doesn’t exist.

I will echo the statement others have made about all the cameos feeling like mascots because that is really what they are. There is no substance to any of them, Isabela only feels like she is there to be a supportive voice for Taash, Morrigan will only really talk about Solas and Mythal-Dorian is the only one who actually gets a substantial quest related to him. I thought he was fine minus the "illegal slavery" bit because what is illegal slavery Dorian. Next up we will discuss legal murder.

Another thing that genuinely broke the immersion for me in this game is how awful the armor is. It is a Dragon Age game so I wasn't expecting Haute Couture but the design is all over the place and nothing looks right. Not to mention the extremely weird orientalist undertones that follow the Lords of Fortune everywhere. The outfit Isabela is wearing is even worse in person and I tried to give this game the benefit of the doubt by thinking we would be getting some underwater mission with her and that would be the explanation behind her bikini outfit - this did not happen.

The belly dancer-esque outfits with the coin-bedazzled turbans were pretty egregious and made me want to limit my time in Rivain as much as possible. For a game released in 2024, I am disappointed we are still dealing with the same Orientalist fantasy tropes. Even the Qunari are more naked in this game than I had ever seen previously. At least DA2 and DAI gave them pants. But hey the Antaam are all blighted and evil so who cares right.

Speaking of the Antaam, a lot of the antagonist motivations for this game genuinely did not make sense to me. The Antaam are suddenly giving up their fear of magic to pair up with...the Venatori? To fight for the elven gods? It honestly felt like they had no idea who to make fight for the Evanuris so they just pulled two of the baddies from the Inquisition and went "We can just use them and call it done". When you press for information on why this is the answer is always a mustache-twirling dialogue about power. Nothing much deeper from that than any of the villains besides Solas. All of the villains, especially Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain, are extremely one-dimensional and have no motivations other than being evil and striving for power. At least Corypheus had cool lines.

I'm not going to get too deep into lore changes since I know a lot of things happened in the comics, books, and TV show (all of which I did not read or watch) but I honestly do think it's a bad idea to have a "soft reboot" while needing to read several books to understand everything. That's not being welcoming to new players that's homework. If you wanted a soft reboot probably don't start off with half your plot and characters coming from various comics and novels people need to catch up on.

The portrayal of the Dalish in this game is inconsistent. When we inform them that their gods are evil and planning to overthrow the world, they respond, "Okay, heard you." How can they accept this explanation so readily? In previous interactions, Solas shared that the Dalish did not listen to him and even threatened him when he revealed this truth. Yet, when we present the same information, they believe us almost immediately. Is there no pushback or skepticism? The Dalish accept everything about the evil elven gods meanwhile Andraste’s followers remain completely unaffected by these revelations.

I think what frustrated me even more was watching our elven companions express grief and regret over the actions of the elven gods like they had something to do with it, painting the Dalish as adjacent to oppressors when they themselves are oppressed in every way. The only thing that remains consistent is the sad boy Solas act about it.

At the end of the game, two of my companions - Harding and Emmrich- were killed. Emmrich's death was unfortunately overshadowed by a zoom-in on a rock and I had no idea he had died until I got the popup. Still, all I can think about is just going "Rock moment" when he died. I don't really have anything negative to say about Harding's death other than the way she went out was fitting for her narrative. Bellara got blighted and there were no consequences for this and she walked away from it - forgive me but I am still under the DAO impression that if you get blighted that's game over but all the rules about the Blight have been changed in this.

I decided to trick Solas, and honestly, I don’t have anything negative to say about it, except that Solas should have noticed me holding the fake dagger since it was clearly in his line of sight. I liked the idea of outsmarting the god of trickery. While it wasn’t extremely satisfying, but I’m okay with how it turned out.

Even as the credits began rolling I still have trouble believing rook's role in any of this. Just the persistent nagging idea that they really just have no place in this story at all. In the beginning I wanted to see how Rook is looped into all of this and how they become central to the fight against Solas but just like with most of the companions, I have no idea why they are here. This should've been the Inquisitor's story to finish.

I'm not going to pretend that everything about this game was irredeemable and terrible. There were genuinely parts I enjoyed and had a good time with. The romance ending scene with Neve was fantastic, even though it took a long time to get there. Davrin was an unexpected aspect of the game that I actually liked, as I never cared much for Grey Wardens before, but he changed my perspective. Harding's mention of the Inquisition was also very sweet. Although I wasn't particularly invested in Emmrich, I loved the conclusion to his quest when he became a lich lord.

While I'm not the biggest Solas fan, I actually really enjoyed the cutscenes between him and Rook because one of my aims with this game was the ability to be mean to Solas and kick him while he was down. They definitely delivered there even though everyone else kept disagreeing with me.

The worlds are beautiful and the CC is definitely the best we've gotten in any Dragon Age game, I spent probably a solid hour in there. The hairstyles are great and the four unibrow choices? Bioware you shouldn't have <3.

Overall I definitely didn't have the best time with this game and towards the end of act 2 I was incredibly bored and the combat became repetitive and stagnant enough that I turned down the difficulty to get through it faster. I can't see myself replaying this any time soon and I am unsure what my stance on Dragon Age is now, do I Ignore this game ever existed or do I carve out everything I liked and pretend this is the Dragon Age I love? I have no idea, I am disappointed at how this game leaves us off and I really wanted to sit here and say It's good but I can't.

I think this game will reach out to and resonate with a different group of Dragon Age fans than me, I just wish I could enjoy it as much as I see other people doing. I was originally going to give this game a 3/10 but knowing you can pet the cats I will give it a very generous 3.5/10.

[shakalyuki]

these thoughts werent letting me sleep today so i have to share them hear me out

Romance is actually Aromantic

Romance, a character from K-pop Demon Hunters, is meant to embody the feeling of romance and romantic attraction itself. He’s described as the most romantic and flirty member, with a design full of hearts and pink colors. But that’s only what we see on the surface—what if I told you his true feelings might be very different?

I believe Romance is a compelling representation of someone on the aromantic spectrum—not because he lacks romantic behaviors, but because he performs them excessively, as a mask and a coping mechanism.

1. Romance might not feel romantic attraction — he just performs it really, really well.

One thing I’ve noticed among a lot of aromantic people (myself included) is that we often don’t really see a clear line between platonic and romantic attraction. Like, what’s the difference between wanting to be around someone all the time because you love them as a friend… and wanting to be around them all the time because you have a romantic crush on them? If you can’t feel romantic attraction, that line gets really blurry.

The most stereotypical idea of an aromantic person is someone who avoids anything romantic-coded because they don’t know when or why to do it. But that’s not true for a lot of us. When society treats romance like the highest, most valuable kind of love, many aromantic people end up acting romantic anyway—because that’s the only language we’ve been given to show affection.

And that’s exactly what I think might be going on with Romance.

He flirts constantly, puts on the charm, makes finger hearts, winks, blows kisses. On the surface, he looks like the definition of romantic. But the thing is—it all feels like a performance. He doesn’t seem romantically interested in anyone, not really. He just uses romantic behavior like a tool, almost like it’s his job. Which… well, it kind of is, right? He’s literally named “Romance.” He’s expected to be the flirty one. But that doesn’t mean he actually feels it.

To me, Romance seems like someone who doesn’t fully get why romantic attraction is such a big deal, but knows it is a big deal to other people—so he plays into it, sometimes to an exaggerated degree.

So when Romance looks at fans—or even at the other Saja Boys—there’s this strange sameness in his gaze. He’s playing the role he was assigned, but I don’t think he’s feeling what people expect him to feel. Romance treats romantic attraction like the ultimate form of affection, the highest level of being a fan—maybe because he’s more sensitive to how society puts romance above everything else. And that might be because he’s on the aromantic spectrum.

Also: he doesn’t act all that differently with fans or Mira than he does with the other Saja Boys. He uses the same body language, the same flirty tone, the same soft eyes. That blurring of lines—between “this is a crush” and “this is friendship”—is something so many aromantic people experience. He doesn’t really change how he interacts depending on context… because to him, it might all feel the same.

2. Romance might act romantic… to hide that he’s not feeling it.

Here’s something I’ve seen often among aromantic people—especially those who haven’t realized they’re aro yet, or who are scared of what it might mean if they are:

They act hyper-romantic. Not because they feel romantic attraction, but because they don’t, and they’re scared that someone’s going to notice. The previous point I made revolved around using the romantic-coded script to show love in the language that others understand, in this one, however, I will bring it as a coping mechanism or masking, rather.

Like—“If I mess up and don’t act romantic enough, someone might realize I’m different. So maybe if I’m over-the-top with it all the time, nobody will question me.”

It’s a coping mechanism. A kind of emotional camouflage.

That’s what I see in Romance. His stage persona is dripping with hearts, blown kisses, and dramatic love declarations—but instead of feeling sincere, it almost feels like… overcompensation. It’s like he’s playing the role of “the romantic one” so intensely that it makes me wonder if he’s actually trying to convince himself just as much as his audience.

You can see this in how he interacts with fans—sending exaggerated hearts, flirting in the most stereotypical idol way possible. Or in his styling: he’s literally wearing symbols of romance. But it’s too on the nose. Almost like someone said, “If I just keep acting like this, eventually I’ll figure out what everyone else seems to feel.”

That kind of performance doesn’t come from feeling romance—it comes from knowing you don’t, and trying to fill the gap.

The examples for this one would be his interactions with Mira, his interactions with fans (blowing them a kiss with an actual heart), even his looks (many heart shapes symbolising romantic attraction). He might be unconciously trying to show everyone how good he is at something that he doesn't actually even know nor feel.

3. Romance is acting romantically-coded consistently, but it's not his first instinct to express himself romantically.

Scene "see you tonight on everyones favourite variety show, Saja Boys love you"

Even though Romance is the one that should be the most romantic - he (and Mystery, for whom I also have strong asexual spectrum suggestion/headcanon) is the one doing two peace signs while posing. Baby holds a heart shape, Abby does finger hearts, Jinu gets his hands to the audience, (could be as an embrace, also says about love) - all three heavily using romantic attraction symbols in their quick poses. Seems like, though Romance is usually actively trying to look and act hyper romantically - its not at all his first impulse to make a romantic-themed pose.

4. The theory of every Saja Boy being the embodiment of what they lack the most.

People who have watched KPDH many times might have noticed, that Baby, though looks like the most Innocent and childish one in his human form - is also the one who is hyped up by literal King of demons while he raps (Your Idol), and is also the most careful and quick one while fighting/when showing his true self to the Hunters.

That Mystery, although being loved the most by his looks by Zoey - even tho she only saw his mouth and lower part of face (but considered them perfect, and also stated that his face was ideal for her taste later when she got the face reveal) - is the one of Saja Boys, whose appearance (large fangs) changed the most for him to have pretty face - there is a big chance (i'm sorry) that he was the ugliest of them as a demon; that actually might be the reason of him being used to such covering bangs: his rightfully big insecurities.

If you look closely at the first reveal scene (or maybe i'm delusional) you can actually notice that Abby who is the most muscular as a human, before the hair reveal has kinda the most feminine pose, and also has less wide (less muscular) shoulders than the ones that turn into Romance and Baby.

And of course, we can also count Jinu, if his talent and voice is in fact a part of demon pact with Gwi-Ma, then it means he himself actually did not have a good voice at all and while being a lead singer in his human form - his voice is not at all his strongest thing, but rather the weakest, which he asked to upgrade into perfect.

What does this suggest for Romance? When we see his demon form after the good preformances - the heart he was forming with fingers in his human form immediately is disconnected in his demon form, as if the ❤️ turns into 💔, while others remain their in act, just in more tired form. The most highlighted thing he has in his human form - is in fact him being romantically involved, his design and preforming point to that all the time. If we take this theory seriously, Romance being aro is the easiest answer to what exactly he lacks.

5. His own parts of songs lyrics: aro interpretation.

Soda Pop

You're mine, you already know that

(its not Romance, its possessivness: one of the first things i learned about romantic attraction: its almost always mono, so, obviously, as a clear difference from platonic attraction from my aro view it must be also one of the most important ones. While possessivness might be a commonly romanticized trait, its still certanly isn't something that is such a big actual part of romantic attraction that it would be the first own line of a character who is sincerely romantic)

You are the one I've been dreaming about

(could be seen romantic, yet as a hypersexual I would heavily put it towards the sexual attraction instead. since the whole song has a heavy sexual meaning - Romance could mean this, if sincerely, only in the sexual way. Wet dreams etc. Expecially, when his next lines are)

I waited so long for a taste of soda

So, the wait is over, baby

(taste of soda, in the sexual context of the song, refers to the "taste" or the "hunger" sexually. "Soda" might be easily changed into "cum" to get clearer understanding. In this case, the "I waited so long" could even actually refer to pretending to have romantic attraction, the tirying part of relationship, romantic acts, in order to get to the sexual part of the relationship. Closeted aromantics or the ones that get together with romantics often feel obligated to act romantically to prove their love and get worthy of sexual attraction, and it might feel like "i just need to wait untill its over, untill i do enough".)

Mystery, however, sings the most romantic (or non-sexual) parts:

When you're in my arms, I hold you do tight,

Can't let go, no, no, not tonight.

(Even if these suggest "tonight" as the time when after the holding sex actually comes, its still the part where its not sexual yet. Adds points to the Mystery Ace theory as well as brings up the question why the fuck doesn't Romance have that line if he is supposed to be the most romantic one.)

Your Idol

Know I'm the only one right now

I will love you more when it all burns down

(it does highlight the love, however, "more" might suggest that he didn't love us ENOUGH before. Not loving someone enough - often a feeling that aromantics have in a relationship with romantics, since romantic is not a type of attraction they can feel, so they can't feel enough of attraction types - and it shows.)

Your obsession feeds our connection

At this moment give me all your attention

(while this is clearly about the souls of fans feeding the demons, these lines can still be read otherwise: YOUR obsession. Obsession is often synonymous to big romantic attraction, and since its only Yours, not Romance's - its one sided, suggesting Romance doesn't feel the romantic attraction. "give" attention also can be interpreted into highliting the trade of acts/attention in a relationship: if i was the one who suffered/waited, acting romantically-coded just to please you before, now is your turn to give me the attention I want)

Intoxicated with my extasy, you can't look away

(Its a line also sang by Abby and Jinu, i can't really see any additional meaning)

Don't you know I'm here to save you

Now we running wild

(might suggest he knows romantic attraction by books, not by own feelings, because those two are just the tropes of romance: saving the princess from a dragon, running away from parents/government because of forbidden love trope. "Don't you know" might also suggest "by now" - after all the romantic acts of romantic attraction facade, you should already believe that i feel enough of romantic attraction towards you, it should be enough lies to fool you.)

No one is coming to save you,

Now we running wild

(These two lines are sang by Jinu, but they obviously connect to Romance's previous lines with similar theme. Now, however, Jinu straight up tells us, that Romance is not going to save us (is not going to act in a sincere romantic way by the tropes), and that running wild was not actually connected to any romantic forbidden love, but instead its running away after a mischievious act of some kind.)

Romance’s character challenges traditional ideas of romantic attraction by performing hyper-romantic behaviors that may mask a deeper aromantic identity. His exaggerated romantic gestures, ambiguous interactions, and the lyrics he sings suggest a complex relationship with romantic feelings—one that highlights how aromantic individuals might navigate a world that prioritizes romantic love. This interpretation not only enriches understanding of Romance but also offers meaningful representation of aromantic experiences rarely explored in media.

[lunahearts]

Okay I'm doing it. I'm chapter 96 posting.

This is not meant to be a big analysis post this is mostly just me sharing all the little moments that Marcille & Laios show their care for each other because they are SO beloved to me. Join me on the journey if you wish.

(but also the above statement may be a lie. I do have a point here, it turns out, and the point gets at some of my Big Feelings of what Dungeon Meshi has to say about the nature of friendship & living in the world)

So, first of all, the conversation about Laios being king at the start of the chapter. Just in general Laios insisting on presenting himself in his own way here is so good. Character development!!

Before the events of the story he hadn't shared his inner world with anyone but Falin. Now he's like Actually I'm gonna dress up in the discarded remains of my monstersona and that's just how it is.

And even though there are a LOT of parts of the story and bits of character growth that go into this, I think it specifically highlights some interactions from a few chapters ago.

After all, his initial reaction to having been in that monster form & coming out of it was trying to hide from everyone.

And I think everyone helping him put things in perspective here contributes to how he is able to present himself as king. They assure him that he is accepted, despite having just been seen by EVERYONE at his Peak "Weird Monster Guy" mode.

Highlighting what Marcille says here especially:

Going out to "face them with a smile" is EXACTLY what he does. Not right away. He's still pretty stressed in the following scene in this chapter. But he is able to face the crowds with a smile, eventually...

As king. Dressed in the memory of his most vulnerable moments, the most honest expression of his desire.

BUT I'M GETTING A LITTLE AHEAD OF MYSELF. Before the King Laios speech, there's a little moment with Marcille I want to highlight, because...

Did y'all know that by the end of the manga, Marcille isn't like... grossed out by eating monsters any more? Or at least, she's definitely changed her reaction to it. It's Namari who makes the "yeah it smells good despite what it is" comment, not Marcille.

We even get shots later of Tansu, Shuro, and Kabru being kinda grossed out by - but still going ahead and eating - the different Falin foods. Chilchuck also throws out a line about it being surprised that it's good.

But there's no disparaging comment from Marcille, despite the Everything of the situation. I just think that's also a nice little detail. She may not be as far in the monster eating game as Laios, but she's more willing to roll with the weirdness.

So after this little moment, this is when Laios comes out in his new regal outfit. And first of all...

This is such a good contrast to the moment when the group goes to save Marcille in chapter 84. The monsters had stopped attacking, and everyone's reactions to Laios and the others framed him as unsettling. Creepy. Maybe even traitors.

They even use some of the same labels (lord of the monsters/lord of the dungeon, dark lord/demon king)., but the context is that they are disgusted. The parallels in this manga....

Have a tendency to destroy me. What a difference in reception.

Anyway, after this moment, Laios stops to talk to the group... and I'd like to point out again: MARCILLE ISN'T FLIPPANT HERE EITHER!!

Chilchuck is still Chilchuck, of course, and I want to be clear I love that, too. Chilchuck is who he is to his core. His little jabs are very affectionate in this chapter.

But Marcille... Marcille only points to the Winged Lion symbol as being weird, not the monster bits. And like, considering what she's just been through with the lion, being skeptical of that part is... fair.

(don't get me wrong, her "that's fine and all" isn't exactly excitement. BUT the point I'm trying to make is less about her completely changing her feelings & preferences. It's more about how she expresses them, and how she treats Laios and HIS feelings & preferences)

And she continues to be so encouraging!! Wah!! Like, despite, all four of these people definitely caring about Laios, it's Marcille specifically who tells him to relax and just be honest. And you know what? I think that's what Falin would have said, too.

Please also note how cute everyone's little faces are in the crowd:

(see, Chilchuck loves him too!! Look at that fond face, and the cheer. and Senshi! and Namari! They really are such a family)

Laios' short speech actually has a little bit I'd like to highlight as well, since I think it is a nice little reflection of his choice to keep the lion insignia on his new outfit:

"Eat to your heart's content," he says. Not just "enjoy," or "let's eat."

Dunmeshi does such a wonderful job of framing so much about the Winged Lion with nuance, and this is a good example of that. Desire is not bad! Craving and consuming is beautiful. As Laios says when explaining the lion insignia...

It's not just something to get rid of.

So then... on to the feast!

And not only does Marcille not express any grossed out feelings, as I mentioned before... she even helps to gross out Chilchuck!!

Her weird girl powers are only just in their infancy. She will only grow more powerful in time...

As the feast goes on of course we get the group's realization about her hair, and I'd like to point out:

I really feel like they have such similar reactions to finding out about how the other has been affected by the Winged Lion

Just... the quiet concern. Not making a huge fuss, but... worried. Understanding. A little heartbroken for each other.

SPEAKING OF HEARTBROKEN REACTIONS THOUGH. WHAT COMES NEXT REALLY GETS ME.

After Chilchuck braids Marcille's hair for her, the topic of her needing to leave everyone comes up and...

God, these expressions. Every Time I see these panels I think about about what Laios saw in her nightmare. Her fears. The weight of inevitable loneliness, and the way it has marked her. As much as Marcille tries to keep things light when talking about it, he knows what this means to her. And it HURTS.

So he doesn't accept it. But do you notice how he frames this. Do you see. Not "do you want me to fix this." Not "hey I have an idea."

"Would you be willing to stay."

He doesn't know whether she will accept. Whether she will hate the idea, actually, of staying here with him. He's putting himself out there fully prepared for rejection & dismissal, as he has faced many times before.

But his pitch, his proposal to her, it's not JUST an excuse to ask her to stay, either. He's put thought into this. Into what Marcille could mean and do here. Not just to and for him, but for the people of this area. The place he has taken responsibility for.

He's also thinking about Falin. And about all the other little girls, the people of all sorts, just like her. He's thinking about the people who have been killed (burned at the stake???), hurt, shunned. About the people who have been abandoned. The people who are still alone.

He's not just offering Marcille an out from her isolation, he's offering her a new purpose. A new way to continue her work, to do the things she cares about. He SEES her! he understands her.

BUT ALSO HE'S SO NERVOUS OUGH. FIDDLING WITH THE PLATE. UNSURE IF SHE WILL CARE. UNSURE IF HE HAS IT RIGHT.

HE'S NOT GOOD WITH PEOPLE HE'S NOT GOOD AT THIS.

BUT THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER. AND SHE WANTS THIS LIFE HE'S OFFERING HER.

Still... it's not that simple for her, even if for a moment she is swept up in how much she wants this.

Again here, Marcille is working so hard to be chill about the whole 'going west with the elves' thing. She looks absolutely devastated in the first panel, but puts on a smile in the second.

Maybe she doesn't want to bring down the mood. Maybe she doesn't want to burden everyone with what seems like the only option she has. Maybe she had already accepted the cost that might come with bringing Falin back. Maybe after everything with the Winged Lion, she doesn't want to risk letting herself fight for her desires too hard.

But hey. Desires aren't always bad. They aren't something to just get rid of.

A small bit of visual storytelling here... I love that Marcille is confined by the panel, but Laios is stepping outside of it. He's literally pulling her outside of the box she feels trapped in.

Also, I love that his first acts as king are:

1) welcome everyone to a big feast

2) stand by his friend and help her find happiness

It's great stuff and it's so Laios.

In addition to that, I love how this whole act actually plays out. I love that, while getting the elves to let Marcille go, he gets to be extremely cool and protective...

but also like. Not THAT cool and protective.

No really, I mean it! I think it's important! It's important that cool 'suave king guy Laios' is a front he puts up when he needs to deal with these strangers, and one that he completely drops once it's just him and Marcille.

He's not trying to impress her, or convince her he's cool and suave. Why would he? He trusts that she's okay with the messy, often unimpressive, sometimes kinda gross reality of who he is.

And isn't that what Dungeon Meshi is all about? Messy, unimpressive, gross reality. And how beautiful, how wonderful, how very precious it is

Especially when you get to share it with your friends.

[elieowlsclownery]

It's Weird Girl Time!!!

Okay so I'm trying to write an over-bloated analysis about an otome rhythm game about theater kids but I keep getting distracted by my favorite weird girl having her moment in Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun because LOOK AT THEM!!!

Their friendship is so incredibly sweet and soft and it makes me cry and the latest chapters are NOT HELPING!!!

My favorite characters in manga has always been the weird girls that no one likes. You know the ones that regular manga reader scoff at because they see them as annoying and obnoxious...maybe because I always ended up seeing myself as the weird girl who was obnoxious and annoying. Back when I still saw myself as a girl that is. Now I'm just a proud obnoxious weirdo (gender neutral) so I'm even worse!

But what sets this manga apart from others is that this Weird Girl is treated so well! She is LOVED both by her friends and the author for her obnoxious weird girl energy and she deserves to be!

Currently though she is having a MOMENT and I am SCREAMING!!!

Like, we knew right? From the first chapter she was introduced in, we saw that she knew she was obnoxious and annoying to others, and continued to put on a smile anyway. Of course she hides her worries, of course she's more aware than she lets on. We've seen how despite her obvious clingyness and constant need to play she's always been willing to put the needs of her soulmates first.

I think what this chapter and the previous one shows is that despite it being over a year since she threw a vending machine at her bullies for pushing her around, those scars never really went away. Because she's still scared, even now, that one day her best friends and soulmates will grow tired of her. Not to mention her compounding fear that her soulmates will get hurt. That they might die.

And we only saw the earlier worries, long before the previous arc where they almost got into a scuffle with the Border Patrol, which could have gone very, very badly if not for Henri and Mephisto. Not to mention the arc where Iruma was almost kidnapped at school.

And to add a layer of pain here is that with all the worries and loneliness she hides, after the Devilculum Arc she's shown to notice the hurt Iruma's feeling instantly, and immediately placed him and Azz in a space where they can openly share their worries. Sure she joined in, but only to admit the loneliness the two already know about.

And obviously Iruma's going to tell her he loves her anyway. Of course he would! He wouldn't be Iruma if he didn't love his soulmates with every fiber of his being, even when they tie you up and put a collar on you (in fact he might even be into-you know what that's a conversation for another time-) When Clara said that they must hate her after seeing her unfun secret Iruma instinctively rushed to correct her. But knowing he loves Clara isn't enough at the moment. It doesn't erase her worries that one day they might separate. It doesn't matter that Iruma loves her because he can't control what might happens in the future. Knowing they love her isn't enough here.

But then just when we think Iruma's about to awaken another concerning interest, there's Clara's other soulmate Azz, who for the first time CALLS HER JUST BY HER FIRST NAME!

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR LITERAL Y E A R S FOR THIS MOMENT

Like I said before, knowing they love her isn't enough right now. And even with all her fears she does know at least at this moment both Iruma and Azz do love her. And it's clear to us that Azz loves Clara too. But unlike Iruma he's not as open about it.

(every time it's shown just how much Clara loves both Azz and Iruma, it's always Iruma who comments on it first, while Azz only replies to what Iruma says)

At the beginning Azz saw Clara the way most other demons saw her, which is as a nuisance. It's only because Iruma likes her that Azz accepted her and eventually grew to like her too. Although he couldn't show love the way Iruma does, which is to openly dote on Clara, hug her and go along with all her antics. Instead his main way of showing love is usually to fuss at her about her antics and worry about her safety. Also holding her head which he claims he does to keep her still but let's be honest he does it cause he wants to.

(He's currently tied up inside a place losing his mana and his first concern is if Clara's feeling well after eating the forbidden snack.)

He's shown a lot of growth in the past few arcs when it comes to how he interacts from Clara. He still mainly argues and fusses at her, but along with that fussing comes an understanding just as deep as Iruma's.

Yet until now Azz always called her "Stupid Clara." This nickname does come with a lot of fondness attached to it, and it's a drastic improvement from when he only called her Valac, but it still shows that Azz never takes Clara very seriously. Even right before that moment where he stopped Clara from eating(?) Iruma he was still treating Clara as usual, fussing at her and calling her "Stupid Clara."

And in a way Clara agreed to the way Azz treats her, because as shown by her reaction to them finding her album the last thing she wanted was to be treated seriously. Because if they treated her seriously it would show the unfun side of her she's been hiding.

But that's exactly what Clara needs, and Azz is the one who needs to do it.

This is the first time, after almost 400 chapters, that we're seeing Azz face Clara seriously. That's how important this moment is. In fact he's taking Clara more seriously than Iruma did, who's immediate instinct was only to comfort Clara.

What's he going to say? We'll only find out next week, but just this moment, him looking Clara in the eyes and calling her name, is enough of an impact.

[la-muerta]

[ENG SUB + Translation] Hou Minghao's farewell message to Zhao Yuanzhou, 16 Nov 2024

"There's always a breeze or two in the mortal world that can send me on beautiful dreams for 18,000 miles."

This trip in the mortal world is a journey that I, Zhao Yuanzhou, had to make.

A one-word spell: Dream. Now, let me tell you a story...

In the Great Wilderness, everyone knows me, and everyone sees me as the Great Demon that has committed every evil deed, deserving of death. But I made the unexpected choice to enter the fray with sworn enemies, old friends, and new acquaintances, embarking on a new path investigating cases and hunting demons together. To voluntarily sign a contract that decided my death date... most people would think that is an ill-omened beginning. But to me it was a relief, to finally be free of the prison that was of my own making...

Fate bound our demon hunting team together, and as we solved cases together, we got to know each other's true hearts. Some amongst us conquered might with gentleness, some amongst us were full of righteousness, some soft-hearted despite our tough exterior, some are lively troublemakers, some holding on to a true heart. Such a motley crew coming together and the only thing they seemed to be able to agree on was: that I wasn't to be trusted. They know me as Zhao Yuanzhou, but they can't forget all the evil I did as a Great Demon. But it didn't matter since I didn't hold much hope for myself as well, so all these other emotions didn't mean anything to me.

If you asked why I came here, I would tell you it's because I am the Great Demon Zhu Yan, forced to bear the burden of being born as a "vessel". I lost control and made an unredeemable mistake, and only death can eliminate the pain in my heart. Living is torture; Death is the gift of relief. However, I also wanted to give myself a chance at redemption, a boat rowing against the current.

Along the way, the demon hunting team encountered many complicated cases, but we worked hand in hand to solve them and the blades that we had pointed towards each other were turned towards the outside. Sworn enemies became comrades in arms, and as we took one step closer to saving the world, we also uncovered wounds that had already scarred over. As we saw each other's past wounds more clearly, we saw the past laughter that was used to hide the pain. Those who had a responsibility to protect found themselves unable to, those bearing the burdens of upholding the family's honour were just trapped in a dream, and those should have grown up with no worries found their world turned upside down overnight...

If you have a nightmare, someone might comfort you by saying don't worry, everything that happens in a dream is inverted. But what if it's a beautiful dream? Everything I'd experienced felt so real to me. As I journeyed on, I began to get lost in the dream. I started to wonder, what was I going to do if I was the one who lost everyone else in the end? I have to confess, I began to feel reluctant to part with everyone...

The lonely boat travels across the bitter seas, but friendship caused waves to rise in a heart that had died. Along the way, we mended each other bit by bit. What I have experienced is too beautiful for the other "me" to ever understand. The wish to enjoy the passing seasons and happiness of an ordinary life held great hidden strength, so that even though I already knew the ending, I did not give up the struggle. Because of all of you, I was driven not just by my thoughts of despair, but by my desire to protect all of you.

Be it the Great Wilderness or the mortal realm, everything must return to its original path. If you grieve over the fact that Zhu Yan did not get a chance to choose, then I will tell you that it was only a dream. If you are looking forward to embarking on a new journey with Zhao Yuanzhou's companions, then you have to wake up to hear the rest of the story. By the way, don't forget what I said – in the future, when it rains, that means I've come to accompany you. Turn the boat around and think of it as a big dream. On the other shore, someone is searching for me. A one-word spell: Wake.

The days I spent with Zhu Yan/Zhao Yuanzhou, confining myself to my shell and experiencing a life seeking an inevitable end, but I also felt the redemption in the countdown. For an actor, this was a very special creative process. The director's help, encouragement, and trust played a huge role in letting me experience this unique and meaningful role of Zhao Yuanzhou. He gave me a lot of room to interpret the one and only Zhao Yuanzhou, and with this support, I was able to accompany Zhao Yuanzhou through this journey, and finally entrust him to you, the audience, with peace of mind.

Also unforgettable were our companions who were with us every step of the way, and the process of everyone coming together in the creative process is very enjoyable, very satisfying, very worthwhile, and I will remember those scenes vividly. I will miss the Great Wilderness, the Demon Hunting Bureau, and the Kunlun Mountains... places where we left our joys and sorrows. Thanks to Wen Xiao, Xiao Zhuo-daren, Pei Sijing, Xiao Jiu, Ying Lei – because of our little demon hunting squad, Zhao Yuanzhou left knowing he was loved. Thank you to my ride-or-die Li Lun, we didn't forget our oath to protect the Great Wilderness. Thank you to my dear friend Zhao Wan'er, and Grandpa Yingzhao, who gave Yuanzhou the rare warmth of familial affection! Last but not least, I would like to thank all the crew behind the scenes for their hard work over the past few months. I have woken up from the dream, but my heart will always remember.

Signed, Zhu Yan/Zhao Yuanzhou, with remorse but no regrets

[okay-babe]

Headcannons ~ Alastor with a reader who has a contract with Valentino...

tags: alastor x fem! reader, established relationship (in the final third of the post), cam star! reader, possessive! alastor, valentino sucks (as usual), mild angst, mild nsfw note: okay so I got an ask wanting to know my thoughts on Alastor with a reader who used to be in a contract with Valentino and has to interact with him, but I misread it as Alastor with a reader who is currently in a contract with Valentino and has to interact with him lol, so here's this! (The actual request should be fulfilled soon, my bad anon!).

♱. At first, Alastor definitely thought you were more than just a little foolish for having made a deal with an overlord like Valentino (bro does not understand the concept of victim blaming).

♱. In his mind, the moth is so blatantly rancid that it just doesn't make any sense for anyone to ever think otherwise, even for a moment.

♱. But then, as he gets to know you better, he starts to see things a little bit differently.

♱. "This is gonna sound stupid..."

♱. You told him one day while speaking on the topic of the overlord who owned your soul, a rare occurrence indeed due to the stigma your contract seemed to carry.

♱. "But honestly, Val was the first person down here to actually make me feel like I was... I dunno... attractive?"

♱. You groaned at the end of your sentence, burying your head in your hands,

♱. "I just... I didn't recognize myself anymore, the person in the mirror wasn't me, y'know? It's like one second I was a human, and the next I was, well, this!"

♱. You exclaimed, gesturing to yourself all the while.

♱. "In a way, his absolutely ridiculous insistence that he could make me into a star made me realize that just because I looked a little different didn't mean I looked bad..."

♱. You trailed off, hands stuffed into your pockets as you looked into the distance,

♱. "And then when I learned about everything he had to offer? I mean how could I have possibly said no? It felt like a win-win back then, or at least something close to it. He promised that no one would touch me, that all he needed was my pretty face and a camera."

♱. You looked toward your then friend with a sigh, a tired smile plastered upon your face,

♱. "I guess he kept that part of the bargain, huh? I just never really thought he would end up being so... awful."

♱. You cringed at the end of your statement, eyes going glassy for a few moments before you suddenly clapped your hands together, standing up abruptly immediately afterward.

♱. "Haha, anyways, you have to have like a thousand contracts right? There's gotta be some good stories there."

♱. As you urged him to speak further on his own experiences, Alastor couldn't help but reconsider his previous thoughts regarding your deal.

♱. Perhaps you weren't as foolish as he had initially thought.

♱. Honestly though, as time goes on and your friendship develops even further, Valentino's contract with you really doesn't end up being that pressing of a topic.

♱. Most of the time, any thoughts regarding the overlord go unsaid, and your business with him is considered yours and yours alone.

♱. That is, until you miss a photo shoot for Slayboy magazine (sorry) and the moth turns up at the hotel, clearly pissed off.

♱. So pissed off in fact, that he had neglected to consider the fact that it wouldn't necessarily be you who responded to his incessant banging...

♱. With a wide grin and an almost obnoxious flourish, the radio demon opened the door, leaning slightly on his staff as he regarded the moth with an amused hum.

♱. "Oh my, the vice demon himself here to visit our humble hotel? Why, to what do I owe the displeasure?!"

♱. He exclaimed, watching as the man's eye twitched slightly in response.

♱. "Where is she?!"

♱. He growled, moving to stalk past Alastor only to be stopped at the pressure of the overlord's microphone against his chest,

♱. "Ah ah ah,"

♱. He tutted,

♱. "You most certainly do not want to do that."

♱. His voice held a hint of warning to it, and a great deal of amusement, his eyes full of malice as he spoke.

♱. Valentino glared,

♱. "Fuck off you corny old bitch, this doesn't concern you."

♱. In response, Alastor simply chuckled, his bones popping and muscles splitting as he slowly began to grow in size, in no mood for the other demon's antics.

♱. "Oh but that's where you're wrong, you insufferable wretch."

♱. He said with an earsplitting grin,

♱. "Anything that involves my most esteemed employee very much does concern me."

♱. In reaction to the sight before him, Valentino snarled, but took a step backward nonetheless, not quite stupid enough to pick a fight with the radio demon on his own.

♱. "Ugh, fine!"

♱. He shouted,

♱. "But you tell that fucking whore to be on site in thirty or I'll find a way to kill her twice!"

♱. And with that, he was turning back toward his limo, ignoring the loud radio static that sounded from behind as he did so.

♱. Of course though, that was just about the only time that Valentino ever got away with ordering you around in front of Alastor, because soon enough, your friendship began to bloom into an extremely unexpected romance.

♱. And after that?

♱. Well, Alastor became a lot less tolerant of the idea that something like your soul belonged to someone else.

♱. He was constantly glaring daggers at the moth demon nearly every time he saw him, be it at an overlord meeting, or even the photo shoots you had in studios outside of the V's gaudy looking headquarters (he might love you, but starting a war with Vox by hanging around in that tower definitely wouldn't be a very smart move).

♱. Makes a show of helping you undress at each and every shoot that he does go to though, neatly folding your clothing for you before pressing a gentle kiss to your head.

♱. "Go on then, my dear."

♱. He would purr,

♱. "I'll just be here enjoying the view if you need me." (He's so corny).

♱. Absolutely despises the fact that your deal forces you to show your body the way that you do in front of a camera. Like not a fan at all.

♱. He doesn't really judge you for it knowing why you ended up making your deal in the first place, but he has absolutely killed an obscene number of sinners and hellborn fools that he witnessed viewing your content in public.

♱. "Al, they're not doing any harm!"

♱. You commented one day after the particularly gruesome murder of a random sinner, arms crossed.

♱. "Oh, on the contrary, darling,"

♱. He'd purred with a wide and unsettling grin,

♱. "I'm afraid they were looking a bit too intently at what's mine."

♱. Yeah you didn't argue too much after that.

♱. (Not like it would ever do you any good to anyway).

♱. Whether or not he actually tries to find you a way out of your contract though, is really entirely up to you in the grand scheme of things.

♱. He certainly isn't fond of it, the idea of another man owning you and all...

♱. But in the end he'll get over it if you really want him to... Just give him a few hundred years or so...

♱. (Yeah unless you can give him like a thousand spectacular reasons not to, he's going to try to find a way to get you out of that deal with Valentino).

♱. Still, in the meantime, he definitely makes your shoots feel a little bit less daunting (although if Val makes one more comment about how lucrative a photo set with you and the radio demon would be, you're worried Al might actually kill the guy).

[feistyvirghoe]

i keep seeing the same shit on tarotblr w some readers just being so negative about love in general

i’m currently single and just doing what i can right now for myself but i still hold a little bit of hope for new healthy love to come in…(even when it’s hard to believe for myself…i still try and that little bit of trying is okay…even in these difficult and draining times of my life right now)

but some ppl are just so….ignorant towards it…it puts a bad taste in my mouth and it’s very odd to see…but idk i could be wrong idk lol

am i going insane? like what the fuck is wrong w just wanting a healthy partnership w someone….that doesn’t mean you’re fucking desperate, especially if you’re just curious but whatever bro /: :(

instead of berating people and making others feel fucking disgusted with themselves…add uplifting readings to ur content…there’s nothing wrong with a healing love reading with self…encouraging your clients and people who come across your readings with genuine compassionate words…or have people just been losing sympathy, it’s one thing to be empathetic but most people don’t even know how to hold space for someone else…there’s nothing wrong w sympathizing and bringing more comforting readings to your blog (and no i don’t mean coddling or false promises, im talking about relaying your messages in a way that doesn’t make u sound like a damn spiritual narc…and i know im not perfect w my readings either…its just an observation from sooooo many different people on soooo many different platforms)

does anyone else see this shit…i genuinely don’t like noticing this but it’s hard to ignore…

just be kinder…that’s not a sin or something ppl should have to earn from anyone…kindness costs you NOTHING! this is why ill always say i love you in some of my pacs (even outside of this…i love you <3) …who cares if i dont fucking know you…there’s at least one person out there that needs to hear it. that they are loved….im so sick of these soulless readers only profiting off of other people’s pain…other people’s desperation…it shouldn’t be like that :( this is a real energy exchange…you have someone reading your content…your work, and they find genuine comfort in that…and honestly i appreciate everyone who’s ever given me the time of day w my readings…even if i may be inconsistent…i do it out of love (all my readings) …id offer paid readings but im just not in the place to (i even doubt myself…and that’s okay…ITS NOT DEMONIC NOR A SIN! stop scaring people with those harsh words…its fuckin weird)

i will still try to show up for you…and me….so i love you <3 and you deserve to be loved, it’s okay to have loving familial relationships, loving romantic relationships, loving friendships… stop shrinking and downplaying it…you are allowed to be loved and give love…WE NEED MORE OF IT IN THIS SICK N TWISTED WORLD!

[forsaken-headcanons]

Dry bones anon with incorrect quotes

"Doomed by the narrative all by yourself handsome" -Azure

"*Reveals traits that foils yours* not for long"- Two Times

"Haunt the narrative"

"Me, my friend and her 3ft tall demon form me plushie" -Guest 666

"About to teach a child about friendship and eternal existence of death pwn AMA" -Shedlestky in the admin group chat

"GUYS I THINK I FUCKED UP" - an hour later

"You can't "I am just a little guy" your way out of this one" -Guest 1337 after blocking an attack

"If your arm got cut off, would it hurt?"

"....yes fool" -Dusekkar

"Where tho?"

"In your...arm....."

"Exactly bro"

"How you gonna feel pain in your arm if your arm is gone!?"

"AUGH" - you can guess what happened to him

"She was a tornado, and to his horror, she could throw cows around just as much" -Builderman talking about Jane doe

"To his horror!? Weakshit. Get out of my way gayboy am about to get it" -Chance...

*a picture of the Earth taken from space*

"All of our trouble seems so small from up here..."

"Thanks Spawn I escaped this time, I can keep these penies to myself now"

*Stomping noises can be heard*

"What the-"

"We SmeLL PENies" -Azure, a douzen of cult member rushes in to like animals, some running on all 4s shorty after

"AAAAAAHHHHHH"

The last 2 are inspired by the Limbus Company april fools event for this year, aka bodyswap for every character, aswell as the reaction from players.

These are not in order.

Only Noob isn't swapped

"Noobie~" -Taph(?) with a unnatural smile on his(?) face and...WAIT DID TAPH JUST SPEAK!?

"AAAHHHhh..."

"...Man, these skinwalkers aren't even trying anymore"

"..." "..."

<Elliot(?) and I looked at eachother, I think I know who this is based on their expression>

"007n7?"

"Yes, its me..."

"WHY YOU!!??" This expression screams "YOU MOTHERFUCKER"

<this the most expression I have seen out of 007n7(?)'s body>

"THE PIZZERIA, HELL, AND NOW THIS!!???"

<yep, thats Elliot>

"I am sorry you have to see me like this..." -looks like 007n7 is worried about his image

This reminded me of the time I was really into incorrect quotes generators back then holy shit I’d spend HOURS on those sites

Now time to,,, slowly go tag all these characters,,, /lighthearted /silly

[plusvanity]

What’s your take on Pelle wanting a romantic relationship irl? Do you think it’s something he would’ve wanted? Or was he afraid that he was too odd for someone to accept him? (I don’t know if that sounds harsh). Since you think that he was sensitive.

Btw I love your analysis girl 🫶

I'm not so sure about relationships, but I firmly believe that he wanted to connect to someone, somehow.

In terms of friendships, I think Øystein was the closest friend he had (at least during his time in Norway), but even so, Pelle didn't open up much for various reasons that include the environment in which he was at that time and most probably trust issues. Talking at some point with Old Mayhem, she described an 'invisible wall' between Pelle and his friends/ the world and I couldn't agree more. It feels like Pelle would've wanted this meaningful connection with someone, anyone, but unfortunately, he didn't manage to form it. I genuinely think this had a massive contribution to why he took his own life.

I don't know if he would've wanted a relationship because a relationship comes with a lot of stress and pressure for being in a commitment, attending someone else's needs, etc, but he definitely felt alone and forgotten in this world. After all, he wrote in his last lyrics 'No one will ever miss you'. He longed to be seen, to be given attention and importance. There are a lot of signs of emotional neglect in how he developed, but I will try to keep it short. I consider him as being in the autism spectrum and a relationship would most likely feel overwhelming, especially since he would lack experience, confidence, etc. But if I have to imagine him in a relationship, I can only imagine him being with someone patient and calm.

People with strong trauma responses, PTSD and those who suffer from personality disorders need a partner who is a bit more mentally equipped to manage stressful situations than your average Joe. To see improvement in Pelle's mental health, he would need a very patient and mature partner.

Love can heal a broken heart. I am one of those people who believe that no matter how broken you are, if you find someone to love you for who you are, someone who is willing to accept you with all of your inner demons, with the the good and the ugly, you can start to heal. Currently, I'm following this process myself. The human brain can be programmed and re-programmed. We are very adaptable to our environments and if we make our senses realize we're not in danger anymore, we can finally allow ourselves inner peace. This is why I believe that Pelle could've been saved.

Hypothetically speaking, Pelle would have a hard time adjusting to a relationship. He was quite rigid, stubborn and unwilling to change for others. To make a relationship work, you need to make some compromises. Another aspect that I want to point out is that Pelle had outbursts or 'episodes' of impulsive behavior when he was living. That would be a serious problem. Øystein (and Metalion, if I remember correctly) had to literally hold Pelle down when he suddenly wanted to 'go to Transylvania'. The question is: Would someone be able (and willing) to deal with this again and again? He would definitely need psychiatric treatment, but would he accept that? There are so many factors that would make dating Pelle a real challenge. I also believe that he was suffering some sort of perceptual delusion. I won't call it Cotard's syndrome since it is not recognized in the DSM and since we have very little information about it, but my honest opinion is that he might have had something more that just depression and I'm kind of pointing towards Major Depression with Psychotic Features. If you believe something else, that's fine. Everyone does their own research and reaches their own conclusions.

I do think he was sensitive and there would've been room in him to grow positive feelings towards someone, to form a meaningful connection and learn to trust again. In the end, it doesn't matter if he would've had a romantic partner or a best friend, he would've liked to form a bond with another soul, someone who understands him, respects him and is there to stay.

I imagine him as being very honest, capable of showing tenderness, being mindful, quiet, contemplative and trustworthy in a meaningful relationship.

Sorry for my late response, I had an awful weekend.

[yanderes-galore]

51.) "I'll chase you down like an animal if I have to."

52.) "My world's covered in darkness without you!" For yandere Redson with a run away darling pretty please UWU

Struggled with a plot for this so I ended up writing an insecure Red Son since canonically (?) he needs approval and fears abandonment.

Yandere! Red Son Prompts 51 + 52

"I'll chase you down like an animal if I have to."

"My world's covered in darkness without you!"

Pairing: Platonic -> Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Implied parental neglect, Attachment/Approval issues, Kidnapping, Possessive behavior, Jealousy, Red Son still doesn't understand courting, Stalking, OOC Red Son, Burning, Dubious companionship/Forced relationship.

Red Son thought this would never happen.

Yes, he knows he's supposed to be a villain. His parents want him to be a villain just like them, no need for friends, just power. He originally felt prideful of such a fact...

Then he met you, MK, and Mei... and he hasn't felt the same sense.

You made Red Son feel more than just a demon. You made him feel like he could choose his path. He hated to admit it originally... but Red Son found himself wishing he could be closer to you.

He used to chase approval all the time. To him, nothing felt better than his parents telling him he did a good job. Or even just acknowledging him did wonders.

Now that he met you, he originally shrugged off your approval and praise. It... shouldn't mean much. You might just be easily impressed.

But soon he realized how genuine it was... and chased it.

You had helped show him that there’s more to life than his parents' approval. Truthfully, he could do whatever he wanted. He has freedom...

Yet he still dedicates himself to you.

At first, it's just friends. Despite being grumpy or acting like being around you is a chore... He's addicted to it. You can tell when he's lying... After all, if he truly hated you he wouldn't be following you around like some lost puppy.

Approval... praise... Just simple words making him addicted. You mean the world to him. This friend thing doesn't seem half bad....

You notice sweet moments with Red Son. Things like him laying his head on your shoulder, or him never quite giving you distance.... Although when you bring it up, Red Son is adamant on denying it.

H-He doesn't need you that much... At least, that's what he tells himself. Unfortunately, when you two are apart, Red Son finds himself spiraling. Damn it... Things are too dark without you.

Red Son barely finds himself getting any sleep without you. It's driving him insane. It's gotten to the point he'd had to swallow his pride and come to your home. For some reason... He sleeps much better by your side....

It's the only way he can sleep nowadays.

As your friendship continues, Red Son seems to get worse. He sleeps over at your home more than his own. He clings to you more when you're going to part ways. He gets irritable when you're leaving to visit other friends without him....

It's... concerning, actually.

Even when you try to leave somewhere without him, someone will point out that he's followed you. He's like a clingy child towards you. He yearns for attention... you think he'll keep things tame, he's just a clingy friend...

He gets worse in response.

"I... think I love you."

The confession itself is normal... cute, even... until he continues...

"I just... I can't be without you... Whenever I don't have you, I get frustrated. I don't even like sharing you with your friends... So... I need you... I'll have you no matter what... Even if it means keeping you to myself."

He... looks unnerving when he confesses. His eyes are wide, nearly bloodshot. His body temperature is overly hot when he looks at you. He clearly hasn't been sleeping...

He scares you.

"Don't... Don't give me that look! Look, I just said I LOVED you... Doesn't that mean you reciprocate? Why are you so scared!? Isn't it romantic to keep you to myself...?"

"No, Red Son...! Stay away from me... What is wrong with you!?"

"Relax! Look, let's go home... and we can talk about this. MK and the others don't NEED you... I'M the one that needs you!" Red Son pleads to you, reaching out to grab you. You struggle against him before eventually being able to run.

Red Son knows that he's selfish. He shouldn't want this. You should be happy... Yet he's scaring you...

But he needs you too much to lose you now.

"STOP RUNNING! PLEASE! DON'T JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!"

Should he be chasing you? No... Even he knows this. Maybe he said too much during the confession... Ugh, he's HORRIBLE at this....

If he lets you go now though... You'll leave him forever....

"I'll chase you down like an animal if I have to!"

His voice is desperate as he runs. Seeing you so frightened, running through the streets... It reminds him that maybe he IS a creep. Despite that... He knows he can catch you if he outsmarts you...

"Come on, please! Don't leave me... I can't... I can't rest without you..." Red Son pants, "My world's covered in darkness without you...! I can't go back to that darkness again...."

While part of you pities him... You knew better. You knew the person you once called your friend isn't here right now. Right now... He truly is a demon...

A selfish demon willing to do anything to get what he wants.

You yelp when you feel a fireball his your back. You immediately roll over, trying to put yourself out. Your skin burns slightly but luckily your clothes seem to cover most of the damage.

Before you can recover to start running, Red Son lunges and keeps you down. You're once again met with that crazed face... Red Son panting above you like a crazed animal. Dread creeps into your stomach, settling heavily in your gut...

Even more so when he grins.

"You're... coming with me..." Red Son states, holding you close to his chest.

"I need you so much... need your attention... your praise... anything to keep the damn darkness away..." Red Son rambles, cupping your face.

You try to pull away when he leans in, but he doesn't let you move, his lips ghosting over yours with a devilish laugh.

"Even if it means having to drag you by my side... I don't care... as long as I have your praise... Everything is perfect...!"

[hellkeepers-if]

DEMO (prologue out) UPDATES

Set in an alternate version of Singapore, you're a fresh university graduate bumbling through life as you desperately look for a job.

...Or that's what your mother thinks. In a world where occult ceremonies are as common as an existential crisis, there's no way you were ever going to be a perfectly average office worker. Just like your twin brother, you work for the International Society Of Exorcists (ISOE) which deals with supernatural occurrences, demonic rituals, and the like.

When a tragic event befalls your older sister, it uproots your entire life and everything you ever knew about the supernatural. With it, comes a forced need to come to terms with a family history straight out of the movies. 

After all, how the hell did it take twenty years to find out that you're descended from the freaking king of the underworld?

"I have a duty to myself, but more importantly, my family."

——————

Inspired by Supernatural, Fullmetal Alchemist, Noragami, and the Percy Jackson series, Hellkeepers is a +18 urban fantasy/paranormal interactive fiction, involving elements of Chinese and Southeast-Asian mythology. In every playthrough, you will...

• Play as a female, male, or non-binary Chinese demigod/ess.

• Determine the relationships between you and your family members. After all, they will play a big part in your story...

• Peel apart the full truth behind you and your siblings' birthright. Your parents can't hide it forever.

• Learn more about Chinese and Southeast Asian mythology as you warp into different dimensions, unlike anything you've seen before.

• Learn more about who you were in your past life.

| Nishimura Kazuo (he/him)

Age: 26

Ethnicity: Japanese

With a penchant for mischief and a charm that woos even the most stubborn of grandmas, Kazu is the wildcard of your organization. You think he's an anarchist, and the only reason he's tied down to the ISOE is so that he has an excuse for whatever havoc he wreaks on the supernatural. 

The A-ranked exorcist is your colleague and your brother's mentor, though you rarely ever see him in his office. But if you ever need him for demon fighting, he'll be there. Most of the time.

"Mind taking that pesky thing out for me while I take a quick nap?"

| Quentin Khanh (Quan) (he/him)

Age: 25

Ethnicity: Vietnamese

Quentin, more affectionately known as Quan, was your childhood friend. After he moved overseas, the weekly texts you sent him fizzled into nothing but a lost friendship.

Since then, he's returned to Singapore as a forensics pathologist and researcher under your organisation. Whether you like it or not, you have to no choice but to work with him for most of your investigations.

"If your bribe doesn't involve a penthouse worth of money, don't talk to me."

| Reyna Aliyah Santos (she/her)

Age: 23

Ethnicity: Mixed (Filipino-Chinese)

You've never quite met someone like Reyna. A halfling with a demon mother and a human father. Being raised in Singapore all her life with little knowledge of her parents, it's natural that Reyna would come to the ISOE for help at the mere instance of a fox tail and white fur.

You've been tasked to help her mask and get comfortable with her supernatural powers, but she won't make it easy for you. After all, foxes do bite. 

"Technically, I'm not stealing anything if they don't notice."

| Song Huayun (she/her)

Age: ????

Ethnicity: "Uhh...from Hell?" Chinese

| You don't know too much about Huayun, except for the fact that she lives in Diyu, the Chinese Underworld. As Diyu's gatekeeper, Huayun has seen countless depravities committed by humans before their deaths. That alone has made it hard for her to like them, and the contempt she shows you is no different than what she shows everyone else.

But with time, maybe she'll finally learn what it is like to feel human…and what a smile is.

"If it isn't the star of tonight's show. Welcome to Diyu."

| The Arbiter of Fate (m/f)

Theyre a stranger, or so you say. But this deity knows everyone...especially you.

[privatebooth]

So, Night terrors and demonic temptations...

For this quest I always took Isabela and Merrill into the Fade, because both their apology dialogues are lovely and provide some great insight into the relationships.

The friendship with Isabela feels so much warmer and more genuine after this, it's got to be my favourite interaction out of them all!

With Merrill on rivalry path it lets Hawke show that he really cares about her and doesn't do things just to antagonize her. They are able to talk like adult mages and bond over their insecurities. and it's a great way to gain relationship points because Merrill is just too friendly for her own good

Fenris's apology feels rather underwhelming in comparison. Well, he's just laconic and I totally appreciate it! He messed up - he apologized, plain and simple. This conversation doesn't bring anything new into the relationship (and that's because their other private interactions are much deeper and more meaningful), and I prefer to see him stand quietly by Hawke's side as he doesn't voice his disapproval and gives us rivalry points over letting Feynriel go free. On the other hand it could sorta affirm Fenris's trust and confidence in Hawke. He sounds rather impressed when he notes that the demon failed to affect him.

Yet more and more often I find myself taking him along and having him betray us, because his interaction with the demon does things to me. It just... hurts so good?

Fenris has shared enough about his past that Hawke knows he's afraid. There is something incredibly intimate about watching Fenris react to the demon's offer, seeing his vulnerability he always tries so hard to conceal. But to face them as an equal? What Hawke always suspected gets confirmed, and it breaks his heart. Not Fenris betraying him for power, but seeing his friend break like this; knowing how scared he truly is and realizing he can't help him at all.

As a mage, Hawke knows what buttons demons push to get to you, and he must have quite the experience here. He doesn't hold a grudge against any of his friends who succumb to temptation. He understands and only hopes that he himself will be able to resist if push ever comes to shove.

Some time after this they have the QB heart to heart, and Hawke confirms his romantic interest.

[donnerpartyofone]

I keep mentally composing, and then not posting something that's basically like:

If there is someone in your life who is consistently taking up more time and energy than you really want to offer them, and who consistently isn't that good at taking "no" for an answer, and who consistently commutes "a simple favor" into an elaborate series of duties, then you can stop wondering if they are doing it on purpose or just don't know any better. They are, effectively, doing it on purpose. They may not be sitting in their lair twirling their mustache while conceiving of ways to monopolize and control you, but they at least have a demonstrable instinct toward behaving that way, and you should definitely feel free to respond accordingly.

...But of course, every time I think to post this, I hear the internalized voices of precious little tumblr warriors scolding me for suggesting that you don't have to work on your own enforcement of boundaries, or be collaborative in building better friendships, or be sympathetic to people who can't read social cues, etc. Which is of course NOT WHAT I'M SAYING. I'm just saying that people who routinely try to get more from you than what they're owed are demonstrating behavioral habits that are not your job to change -- it might not even be within your power to change them -- and it's OK, even advisable for you to switch gears into protecting yourself.

(boring part below)

Even though it recently came out that my job has a customer who has been kicked out of every other place in the neighborhood for stalking and harassment, I find myself just as worried about this other guy who acts like a big friendly lummox, but I'm 100% convinced it's a smokescreen for the fact that he is demonically trying to hurt and annoy everyone he can. I've been having this conversation with my coworker about whether or not he just doesn't know any better because he acts like a big friendly oaf, but the more shit he pulls the more I think: This guy is a serial killer. Even if he never kills anyone! Spiritually he is walking around with his arm in a fake sling, trying to isolate people by begging them to get something imaginary out of the trunk of his car. He is consistently, deliberately trying to get inappropriate access to people, just to see how much shit he can force them to take. We're trapped in one of those movies like WHAT ABOUT BOB? or THE CABLE GUY or even SPEAK NO EVIL or FUNNY GAMES, where normal people are targeted by a predator who exploits the fact that they're too civilized to immediately say "I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND I'M NOT GOING TO PUT UP WITH IT, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASS!"

This is a very big, tall, middle-aged white guy who wears a lot of Hawaiian shirts, and who speaks slowly in a loud voice, grinning and gesturing as if he were delivering a monologue on the late show. The first time I encountered him I was wearing my WICKER MAN hat and when he got to the register he seemed to take a strangely long time to start talking before saying "HELLO MISS WICKER! WHACKER? WICKER? HELLO MISS WHACKER!" I had the feeling that I was being forced to ignore the innuendo because of his performance of being a big innocent goofball, and in any case he took such a long time to order his coffee, with his series of drawn-out jokes and gestures, I was more worried that he might never just tell me what he wanted and pay for it and leave. The next time I saw him, I became sure that this was all by design. I was working by myself on an excruciatingly busy weekend morning, and when he got to the register he started making these loud stretched-out jokes about how busy it was, and every time I said "Yeah it really is WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU," he would make another joke about how busy it was. If he couldn't think of something to say he would just start waving his arms around like a magician at a children's birthday party until he came up with another joke. He wouldn't move on from one of these jokes until you acknowledged it. When he finally gave me his drink order and I started making it, he tried to get the entire line to give me a round of applause three separate times, saying "YAAAAAAY!" like a little kid and clapping his hands as loudly as possible. This was met with dead silence and it made me feel terrible, which I'm positive was the goal.

I described this to my coworker, and shortly afterward she had her own encounter with him: He came by after closing time when she had unfortunately allowed some of the (nice) customers to stay a few extra minutes to finish their drinks. The door was locked, and she suddenly heard a loud banging. She looked up to see this guy trying to get in, and made the traditional "We're closed" hand signal, which he smiled and acknowledged. Then a few seconds later he was POUNDING on the window right next to some customers, who were understandably alarmed and confused by his attempt to make them override the actual employee. So my coworker was forced to go over there just to make him stop, and he said he needed to put up a poster on our event board -- then he started wedging himself inside and telling this long, convoluted story about how he's a sound engineer for some local venue or something, and my coworker asked what that had to do with him entering the business after hours. Then he made some weird jokes about cheating on his wife that she found totally disgusting and eventually he left, but obviously all of this was about imposing himself on someone unwilling, just to see how much he could get away with.

By now we've seen him a few times when working together; one of the last times, I finally gave him his coffee and then he wouldn't leave our very small condiment table. He immediately latched onto whoever was next in line and absorbed her in a long, idiotic conversation, and when I asked him to please move so that other people could access the milk and sugar, he laughed in that way that normally says "Oh sorry!," but then he didn't move even when other grown men had to almost wrap their arms around him to get at the stuff. Then he came during another extremely busy Saturday afternoon and started trying to place a cake order for his alleged son's birthday. (Supposedly he is married with children and even though he evinces this whole "doofy dad" thing, it's really hard for me to imagine anyone spending enough time with him to form a family) Every time I tried to tell him to just come back or call when he knows exactly what he wants, he pretended not to understand me, so finally I came out from behind the register to shout my words into his face, and he kept cupping his ears and saying "QUE PASA? QUE PASA?" (racistly), and repeating things back to me in a slightly distorted way so that I had to keep re-explaining my extremely simple instruction while standing much closer to him than I wanted to. Whenever he senses that he has hit a wall with you, he starts declaring that he's been a customer for more than ten years and this is his favorite place blah blah blah, and then he often moves on to entrapping the nearest customers, who are always disturbed and unsure of how to defend themselves. By the time I got him to go away the owner pulled me over to ask if I was OK; she couldn't hear the whole thing but she sensed that something bad was happening and perhaps fortunately, she was already primed to notice danger because of the situation with the actual neighborhood stalker.

I am really not looking forward to seeing how the situation unfolds with the stalker, who has compelled other businesses to get the cops involved already, but I worry just as much about this fucking guy. If he doesn't come right out, like the stalker does, and say "You guys are trying to poison me and I'm going to distribute fliers saying you're all rapists, and follow you around and threaten you," then in a way it will be harder to deal with him. It's just so obvious to me that he doesn't not-know that he's making everyone miserable, and I don't really know how far he'll push it; probably it will just stay on the level of this energy vampire nonsense, but it is so reminiscent of the behavior of sexual and violent predators who use all kinds of coercion techniques to put you off your guard and isolate you so they can do something bad. At the risk of overstating the obvious, trying to make people do things that they obviously don't want to do is a huge red flag, whether or not it escalates to physical contact. I'm really not looking forward to having him come back to order this birthday cake for his supposed son, I won't be surprised if he specifically picks a time when I'm working and it's busy so he can continue this terror campaign that he has launched against me personally. Possibly the silver lining to all this will be that I finally learn to start acting like I work, not at a cute little neighborhood bakery, but at one of the rough and tumble dives where it would be normal for me to say "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM IS BUT IT ISN'T MINE, I DON'T CARE IF YOU 'DIDN'T DO ANYTHING,' YOU NEED TO GET THE FUCK OUT AND NEVER COME BACK." My bosses would probably back me up.