#like on a major level
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ugh I thought I got over this thing in high school
#whenever I meet someone who I feel connected with I start like#thinking abt yhem all the time#I guess I haven’t felt connected to ppl in a while#like on a major level#but one of Chevys friends and his partner are rlly cool and I relate to them a lot#one of em is literally going thru what Chevy and I are going thru so it makes me feel like#bonded in a way#and I know it’s strange or unhealthy#but it’s cool when u can talk to someone u recently met like you’ve known them for years#and I’ve known yhis dude since last semester but we went to a party with those two and I just had such a good time#and I demonizing myself for feeling friendship? is that what’s going on?#I don’t feel close to people often anymore so idk if that’s an okay feeling#abd it’s not like I don’t have friends I do. my English professor says it looks like I have fans since im always surrounded by people all#the time#I want to be closer to people but I’m so afraid of being known
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Sometimes I wish we would start calling out the performative radicalism on this site for the poser bullshit it is. "Remember, it's always morally correct to kill a cop!" "Don't forget to firebomb your local government office!" "Wow, it sure would be a shame if these instructions on how to make a molotov cocktail got spread around!"
Okay. But you're not killing cops or firebombing government offices. You are posting on a dying microblogging website to a carefully-curated echo chamber that has radicalized itself into thinking that taking the absolute most extreme position on any subject is praxis but that anyone discussing the most practical way to effect actual change is your sworn enemy. You do not have the street cred OR the activist cred to be talking about killing cops, babe.
#thinking about the person i saw saying that if you're at a protest#and other protesters try to stop you from becoming violent you should just kill them bc 'peace police are still police'#even taken as hyperbole that's simply dumb as shit on every conceivable level#it's also pretty blatantly hypocritical coming from people who are usually self-avowed prison/death penalty abolitionists#like i'm sorry but you don't get to be a death penalty abolitionist and also call for the death of your political enemies online#this isn't a major issue or anything i'm just bored and annoyed
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In the wake of the TikTok ban and revival as a mouthpiece for fascist propaganda, as well as the downfall of Twitter and Facebook/Facebook-owned platforms to the same evils, I think now is a better time than ever to say LEARN HTML!!! FREE YOURSELVES FROM THE SHACKLES OF MAJOR SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS AND EMBRACE THE INDIE WEB!!!
You can host a website on Neocities for free as long as it's under 1GB (which is a LOT more than it sounds like let me tell you) but if that's not enough you can get 50GB of space (and a variety of other perks) for only $5 a month.
And if you can't/don't want to pay for the extra space, sites like File Garden and Catbox let you host files for free that you can easily link into NeoCities pages (I do this to host videos on mine!) (It also lets you share files NeoCities wouldn't let you upload for free anyways, this is how I upload the .zip files for my 3DS themes on my site.)
Don't know how to write HTML/CSS? No problem. W3schools is an invaluable resource with free lessons on HTML, CSS, JavaScript, PHP, and a whole slew of other programming languages, both for web development and otherwise.
Want a more traditional social media experience? SpaceHey is a platform that mimics the experience of 2000s MySpace
Struggling to find independent web pages that cater to your interests via major search engines? I've got you covered. Marginalia and Wiby are search engines that specifically prioritize non-commercial content. Marginalia also has filters that let you search for more specific categories of website, like wikis, blogs, academia, forums, and vintage sites.
Maybe you wanna log off the modern internet landscape altogether and step back into the pre-social media web altogether, well, Protoweb lets you do just that. It's a proxy service for older browsers (or really just any browser that supports HTTP, but that's mostly old browsers now anyways) that lets you visit restored snapshots of vintage websites.
Protoweb has a lot of Geocities content archived, but if you're interested in that you can find even more old Geocities sites over on the Geocities Gallery
And really this is just general tip-of-the-iceberg stuff. If you dig a little deeper you can find loads more interesting stuff out there. The internet doesn't have to be a miserable place full of nothing but doomposting and targeted ads. The first step to making it less miserable is for YOU, yes YOU, to quit spending all your time on it looking at the handful of miserable websites big tech wants you to spend all your time on.
#this is a side point so it's going here but I really think tech literacy should be a requirement in schools like math grammar history etc.#we live in a world so dominated by the stuff and yet a majority of the population does not understand it at even the most fundamental level#tiktok#tiktok ban#indie web#neocities#web development#current events#twitter#facebook#meta#amazon
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who is your favorite AA character? 👁️👁️
ziska… I hope capcom brings her back someday
#shes cool as fuck to me bc when I first played jfa I found her really frustrating to deal with#not just as Phoenix but I mean like on a personal level she is challenging because she’s so thorough#and yet I also find it fascinating that she breaks the character she’s built for herself once in a while#i 100% believe that I don’t think she would have caught on to what Phoenix was trying to do while stalling for time with engardes trial#so it’s probably a good thing edgeworth subbed in but she literally busts her ass to bring evidence to court#almost right after having a bullet extracted from her WHICH SHE ALSO PRESENTS AS EVIDENCE. thats metal as fuck ok#especially since she would technically have nothing to do with the case after edgeworth fills in and she still decided to do that anyway#maybe it was blind faith to use that evidence to win since she wasn’t there for most of the trial but still#and even if canon doesn’t give it to me I still firmly believe there’s be at least some chemistry between her and Maya#like especially if you hold it next to wrightworth that works bc there’s already a history there and majority of Phoenix and miles trying#to relearn their relationship is Phoenix coaxing out that side of Miles that he remembers from fourth grade#but with Franmaya it’s something new and they���re basically strangers to each other and one of them almost got the other convicted#and I still think that’s fascinating and it’s a damn shame thay half of the fics I find for them on ao3 is background in wrightworth fic#i did find a good one that touched on Franziska trying to win pearls approval because Pearl does hold a grudge against her#and seeing that trying to live up to perfecting even her personal relationships without getting to know Pearl to even know#why it wasn’t working feels believable when I think abt her as a character yk#myart#my art#doodles#aa#ace attorney#franziska von karma
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Eheh. Eheh. Eheh. >:D>:D>:D (process photos below if you're curious~)





And then we finally have the finished product, words and all~

I wanted to draw Maedhros being Scary~ so I did this. >:D
(and I haven't drawn a ton of stuff in full A4 size, so this was kinda testing that out. As well as using my .005 fine liner way more~ >:D)
#maedhros#feanorians#silm art#the silmarillion#Scary Maedhros >:D#BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA#Because I Wanted to~#this was my 'study break' project#I... did not actually do a ton of studying today..#and I may have gotten a lil carried away..#but it was totally worth it >:D>:D>:D#I've just about finished all my uni stuff anyway#only got two assignments and an exam to go >:D#(one of those assignments is pretty major tbh but my art has missed me so that can wait~ ive still got like.... 11 days i think)#ye#my inking skills have definitely levelled up since I started experimenting a month or so ago.#didn't even know how to do this stuff in January#so I've come a fair way since then#:D
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Of Power and Poison
[OC]
#dnd art#dnd 5e#ttrpg art#ttrpg character#dungeons and dragons art#dnd oc art#Evantide#Evantide Campaign#Freyja#Freyja Ravenhill#tldr she drank the poison bequeathed to her by her mother#poison laced with the raw power of the stone drake#so either she just fucking dies or the Drake says “yeah sure” and she gets it's power#it was a close call tbh but she did win#and even though doing this shortened her lifespan by A LOT#like she should have had another 150 years and will now be lucky to pass another 40 levels of grim#also got called gay by the drake#she also now has scales and body tattoos to show off her achievement and has class changed from Warlock to Sorcerer#She also did this the night before her birthday#which would have sucked a lot if she died LOLL#so far tho the only people who know she just nuked majority of her lifespan are Aluviel and her parents#This was supposed to be her mother's title and fate but she gave it up to have a family not knowing it'd doom her daughter#but we love to see it#anyways had the God of War (2018 and ragnarok) ost on loop for this one lads
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i feel like dream in human aus is usually characterized as being more stoic and stern while hob is more easygoing, but i think it would be funny to have a university au where hob is the professor who's like "no work is deserving of 100%. find 27 more sources and do it again" while dream is just like "they put their dreams into it, hob 🥺 A+! A+! A+! A+!"
#hob: you got this date wrong in the paper. c-#dream: i like all the misspelled words. really adds personality to the story. A+#hob is the ideal teacher for students whove always gotten good grades easily and need someone to challenge them more#dream is the ideal professor for students who struggle with self confidence and need to feel more capable#hob should only teach 400 level senior classes. dream teaches Intro to Poetry 😂#one time they swap papers to grade and then hob's like 'dream why did you give all my students As' dream's like 'they tried their best 🥺'#hob's like THEYRE HISTORY MAJORS DOING THEIR DISSERTATION AND YOU LET ONE OF THEM SPELL HATE AS 'H8'#dream: why'd you give my students Bs :(. hob: one of them turned in a coffee stain as a poem? wth#dream: everything is poetry hob. it's abstract. oh my god you dont get it at all 🙄#dream's unconventional method does work tho. he has an uncanny ability to get even the most disengaged students to care SOMUCH about poetry
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yes, yes, boba fett finds it strange and uncomfortable when people can see his face and this is one of the major reasons he almost never removes his helmet (in the expanded universe anyway), but another factor that i think isn't explored nearly enough is just how much his helmet shapes how he sees the world. it grants him 360° vision, lets him interface with his weapon systems and slave I, and automatically dampens loud noises and dims bright lights. imagine going through the vast majority of your life seeing the world through that lens and then suddenly taking it away. removing his helmet for any significant length of time likely isn't just uncomfortable for him but downright disorienting.
#boba fett#boba fett meta#so much is made of how mandalorian helmets have all these powerful‚ often perception-altering features#and how many mandalorians spend the majority of their lives wearing them#i'm surprised there aren't more references to the difficulties such mandos might have adjusting to NOT wearing them#not just socially but like on a sensory level#there's one description in the boba fett junior novels that i really love#where bitty!boba gets his helmet knocked off his head by another bounty hunter#and the barrage of light and sound is compared to water being poured over his face#like it's that jarring to him#and that's when he was still a kid and hadn't yet experienced literal years of wearing his helmet every day!#so imagine what it's like for him when he's an adult making that transition#star wars#mandalorians
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A question for the fairies! Why do y'all have legs if you float everywhere? Is it some kindof evolutionary leftover? Or to be more familiar to humans? (Btw I love your series/headcanons, and I love the designs of everyone!)
The reason they have legs is becau-
Oh! Yeah, sure, ok. Go ahead, Cosmo.
....
Well you heard it here folks!!!! Right from the source!!
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop cosmo#cosmo#asks#itty bitties fop au#stephanweaverofworlds#....i think cosmo got a bit of stage fright there.#hrm.#WELL ANYWAYS#fairies are a parasitic sort of creatures. they require high levels of mimicry in order to survive and thrive.#legs were an evolutionary trait to make them more appealing to humans- a prey that makes a majority of their diet.#a bit like how carnivore flowers release sickly sweet smells to attract flies!
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I feel like the one thing Yautja underestimate about humanity is their pack bonding ability. Like sure, they probably wouldn't see much of it due to the whole "humans as prey"thing.
But I think it would be really funny for a few young bloods or even older yautjas that have come to earth, somehow ended up working with a human/humans , and be completely confused by how fast humans will friend them up after like 1 positive interaction.
#yautja#yautja fanfic#yautja headcanons#its just so funny to think about#because the high social nature humans have isn't as seen in Yautja and those worlds colliding would be so funny to see#also the sad side of a human in a majority yautja placing feeling like an outsider because they crave a level of emotion not common there#yautja x human#predator franchise#Also consider:#Human: Oh that's my roomba#Steve; Id kill for him :)#Yautja: ?????
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I'm sorry but I feel like non-Australians just will not be able to 100% get Ca$h's character, like I don know if you can understand how impactful it is unless you know eshay culture and how harmful it is. Like I know Chooks, they went to my schools, they take my busses, literally every time I go outside I'm scared of them. Literally as I'm typing this there's a group of them on the bus behind me and it's making me anxious. Ca$h trying to tear himself away from his eshay group in order to protect his friend and safely be with his black nonbinary partner and their alt friend group is like. A massive deal I can't imagine the eshay types I've been close with ever doing that for me
Edit: Not to even MENTION having the eshay character be unapologetically queer and asexual like that is CRAZY. Like there's a reason Darren was so surprised if you're queer and an eshay most of the time you do NOT say it and to have it being portrayed so beautifully is. Gods.
#idk....... like obviously you'll understand him on an asexual and trauma and autistic level but#him being an eshay is like a major part of his character and it influences a lot of him#especially with the name like eshay names have weight to them#its a whole subculture#heartbreak high#hbh#ca$h piggott#douglas piggott#hbh ca$h#heartbreak high season 2
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i really like the bit in TVL where lestat and armand briefly form a "fumbled louis du lac" social club
#armandstat#<-sure why not. u guys don't even understand the level i'm operating on rn...#armand iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#iwtv#iwtv amc#interview with the vampire#tvl#tvl spoilers#i guesses#idk when this could take place in show canon. maybe after louis leaves lestat in new orleans but also armand is supposed to beg lestat#to love him here so. & lestat goes into the earth after this bit in the book but he's got a fuckin tour to practice for in the show! Get Up#also this wasn't the armandstat i said i was cooking yesterday this just erupted out of my soul#thunder's art#described#also in case any show fans are wondering Yes armand says this to lestat verbatim in the books#i love it cuz at first it just looks like armand is infodumping about outdated french terminology#the only major difference worth mentioning is in the book armand is outside lestat's house#pressing his face against a grate window as he says this. i love him so bad#armandposting
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Here's a big post of some of my doodles of [Cap'n and crew] that I haven't posted yet! Couple are comics, couple are shitposts, you know how it goes.
(Also have some extra character tidbits beneath the cut!)
Cap'n (she/they) has become a Spongebob-adjacent "married to the job" type with sprinklings of "they are not immune to rose-tinted Company propaganda". Cartoonishly loyal to work, she's more upset about lying to the boss about her condition over actually becoming a monster on work time (though she isn't particularly a fan of being a monster, either).
Skeets (she/her) was already implied to be pretty optimistic and curious, but I've doubled down on this. She's constantly curious about entities and the state of her co-workers, asking questions and absorbing new information. She's also extremely lucky when it comes to encountering entities.
Mav (she/him), as implied by her nearly leaving Cap'n behind in the first comic, has become a "I won't hesitate, bitch" bitch. Split second decisions aren't an issue for her, she WILL shoot first and ask questions later. (She also now has a gambling addiction, haha. LOVES betting credits on things)
Kid (he/him) is now Irish. I will not elaborate. He's kind of literally the same otherwise. He's also in major inherited debt because of a Company-caused clerical error, but don't worry about it.
Uh. That's about it, I suppose!
#artists on tumblr#lethal company#lethal company oc#lethal company eyeless dog#eyeless dog#blind dog#werecreature#wereeyeless dog#eyeless weredog#I started adding to this draft back in the beginning of july gUHJNFKFD I'm really bad about posting my stuff#I thought about waiting till I finished up a DIFFERENT comic I'm working on rn but like. man whateverrrr it can be posted later#Anyways I've actually been drawing a lot of stuff with another friend's LC OC too! MAYBE those will get their own post later?#(Mav's voice has shifted to Linda Belcher's and Skeets to BMO from Adventure Time cause of their suggestions!)#(also for Kid... by major debt I mean like... a cool 1 million credits type of level of debt. maybe more. and it was The Company's fault)#they also all have canonical least favorite entities but I might make a sketch about that later hOILJKFD#I also have been quietly developing that were-kidnapper fox concept I posted about a while ago because. I'm? Predictable???#also also jsyk I love the maneater. I LOVE THEMMMMMM love them! ZEEKERS!! MAKE A MANEATER PLUSHIE AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!#blood cw#capn tag#sfw#my draws
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#this angle won by a slightly overwhelming majority#but then again fewer folks have been voting lately. so much less engagement on those polls#heatran#well. this thing. i don't even know how to get it#i guess it's one of those event-exclusive fuckers‚ right?#prolly why i've never had one before#only event pokémon i ever got as a kid was like. the gamestop event celebi#and i kept trynna use it because it was level 100 and i didn't understand why it wouldn't obey me#i thought it was just tired or i had to use it more to build up friendship and then it would like me and wouldn't keep disobeying me#y'know i thought it was still getting used to me or whatever. but it was just. y'know. gym badges
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fantasy au where Wille goes on a long journey to try to collect [insert magical items here] so that he can resurrect his dead brother, and along the way he collects a ragtag group of misfits to help him, including a pretty Bard named Simon who he slowly falls in love with and at the last stop of their mission to collect the last item, Simon dies in battle and Wille must choose who to bring back from the dead
#i been missing dnd lately so here we are#also i texted Michelle yesterday being like i wanna write a major character death fic#and this is what i’ve crafted 😈#this would be a whole fuckin Tolkien level shit so idk if i’d ever actually do it#anyway#yr fic idea#we need more magic fantasy aus#yr fic#young royals
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Suwon's character analysis: From being shown to showing
Suwon is really a character all about being watched and scrutinized, isn't he?
Of course he's not self aware he's a fictional character but his position as a King and in relation to Yona ironically put him in a position that gives him a similar awareness that if he did. Suwon is judged and analyzed by everyone, in and outside the story. He knows that when he shows himself (and appears in the story) he has to perform a certain way. He has a role to follow and perform until the end. The way he speaks, the way he stands, the way he moves...being King means controlling and being aware of all of it. The moments we see through this costume are moments where he's taken by surprise and becomes "out of character" for this role. Moments where he's literally called out by characters around him for it, making him fall in his expected role more and more. He has to behave a specific way, he has to wear specific attires, he is very aware he is the object of many gazes around him. When he performs his role perfectly he is judged but in ways he expects because it's others' roles as well. When he breaks out of this role, he is judged anyways for losing himself. No matter what Suwon does or says, others will judge him or love him and expect things from him. It is true in the narrative and outside of it.
The South Kai arc with chapter 221 and 224 has him desperatly try to stick to his role that is slipping through his fingers, he has to position himself in contrast and opposition to Yona, he has to be the King his father wanted until the very end, etc. Yet, Yona and Hak kept breaking these roles as well. Hak, in full armor from Kai, the enemy, arrives and gives the senjusou to Suwon, in full King attire at this moment. Hak enters the stage like a blast when the curtains were about to fall and turns all formalities and rules of distance and what is allowed or not to dust. He breaks the role he carried until now as the character that should hate Suwon forever and try to kill him, and saves him instead. The fact that Suwon is King then doesn't really matter, Hak did this as his former friend.
In chapter 243, Suwon wants to speak to Hak privately but is well aware that if he comes out and does that, he will be seen and judged, confirmed by the shadows in chapter 251. He is not allowed to be himself without any costume freely, hence the cloak and hood on. He is not allowed this one private moment, eyes are on him and not only Hak's that he very much expects as well. That's why Suwon's tone the whole chapter is so...ambiguous. At the beginning, he speaks matter of factly, maybe not as "Hak's King" but at least in a unpersonal way, like an anonymous messager. He tells him information. That's why he calls Yona "Princess Yona" too I think. It is Suwon trusting Hak and relying on him personally, yet he is not totally open yet, Suwon still has a role to play. The more it goes, the more the tone shifts subtlely, now calling Yona by her name, his hood falling when Hak hits the wall, and talking more personally. What he shares then is what he is resigned to do and accept given his position and role that he can't just give up on now, what is the most reasonable within the range of his actions from then on. What he conveys to Hak is that he will not break character and stop performing his role as King, the one thing changing being only how he passes it down to Yona.
However, there is one final thing that the manga makes perceptible for absolutely no one but Hak, that even the shadows can't hear and understand. Suwon's last word(s) to Hak is not digitally typeset like every other text inside speech bubbles, but handwritten so small it looks like muttering that we can't for sure confirm the full forms of. Since chapter 243 came out, I did try for a long time to decipher it, and many concluded it could be a "sayonara" or "arigatou", and it was also translated and typesetted in the official English translation as "Farewell".
But honestly, now I think it is something we should not and are not supposed to decipher. In my eyes, it was Suwon's attempt to have just one thing, one word that would not be scrutinized and broken down to pieces by the people that watch him with no regard to his agency. The only thing we break down is the unintelligible form of it. I'm sure that we are not wrong to think it was something along the lines of a "Farewell", but I can't help but feel like it's not right to take even that from them now. This page is also the trigger that makes Hak understands that their entire convo was in itself a performance that Suwon directed from the start and aimed at people looking at them (the shadows and the audience), and the real message that he conveys only to Hak and not the shadows is that he is giving him and Yona a chance to escape and never return, despite the fact it goes directly against what he told him clearly in their conversation. I think this is what breaks Hak's heart too then, and why Hak realizes that he indeed can't dream of walking on the same path as Suwon anymore. Because Suwon will keep performing a role that will constrain him this way and make him hurt Yona and Hak. That this is maybe the path awaiting them too. The best way is to escape from it when it's not too late. It is too late at this point for Suwon though, or so he thinks. Suwon is self-aware that he can't discard them by this point, so to me this is him trying to negociate these feelings of his (by leaving them one chance to leave) with his role and constraints as a King in this complicated, indirect way.
It's very telling afterwards how the moment from chapter 243 Hak remembers is Suwon's final word that we can't read, whereas for the shadows it is the moment he tells Hak he will make Yona the next ruler. The unreadableness of the former and the enhanced size of the text in the latter...yeah. Suwon's words removed from their full context often are enhanced like that, aren't they?
Suwon is at the same time forced and not allowed to change. He is at the intersection of clashing expectations. It is bad whether Suwon follows his role perfectly or whether he breaks out of it a little and tries something different. Suwon is cruel to Yona and Hak and should die for his actions, or Suwon is too nice and submitting to Yona and Hak (and the larger narrative). No matter what Suwon says and does, it will cause discourses after discourses from both those supporting him and those against him. It is cruel, because people around him are changing and looking him differently than before, whether it's good or bad. In chapter 242, he acts out perfectly as the determined and pragmatic King he is as always, yet now even Geuntae doesn't seem satisfied. Suwon, because of Yona's influence on the people and world around them, has also no other choice but to adapt to these changes in some ways, yet characters like the shadows that refuse any change from 10 years ago stand against it. Again, then chapter 243 to me is Suwon's way to still perform his role as expected from others by negociating with all these sides in some ways. But it's really so complicated, isn't it? And in the end, a chapter like 243 was painful and upsetting for everyone.
I read many people say that Suwon was not here enough in the castle arc and it was annoying that Keishuk was so much present instead, and I remember very well how desperate I was to see him more by then, but it makes sense too, no? After all, Suwon didn't want to be seen. By showing himself as little as possible only in the moments he knows he can perform well, he was still somewhat in control of what people saw of him. The illness made it that Suwon could just not perform more than he did. He didn't want anyone and especially not Yona and Hak to try to see him beyond the performance, yet they kept getting closer and closer, pushing Suwon to hide himself away more and more too.
Suwon knew very well that the second he came out in the open he was closely looked at, by Shin-ah of course, but Shin-ah is only the best example of this general feeling of being watched and judged I think. This is Suwon's interpretation of Shinah's gaze, and I'm sure there is part of truth in it but I think it is also heavily influenced by Suwon's own feelings. Suwon was judged and followed for isolating Yona when she learned of the illness and for imprisoning Hak, but those were things he was only /indirectly/ the cause of. Of course, Suwon didn't do anything to go against them and it was his responsibility this way, he knew and had the authority to decide different, but what I mean is it portrays very well how Suwon is aware, /feels/ the way others scrutinize him ever since he killed Il for every single negative (direct and indirect) consequences of all he does and is. He will never be free from it. People will never let go, even when Yona and Hak do. I think the wound on his shoulder or the pain of his illness he doesn't act on enough are also symbols of that. His present shoulder wound is the literal trace and scar of Shinah's gaze on him in chapter 249, and Suwon is okay with carrying it.
It's not like the story has never let us enter Suwon's mind before recently, after all the narrative doesn't strictly follow only Yona's POV, but Suwon from the beginning was still generally a character seen from the outside by others rather than followed from inside. All these iconic scenes of characters looking at him, whether it's only his back or in the eyes are very much about that. These scenes serve to show how Yona (and Hak) is the subject of the story and will always watch him and what he does, the way Suwon watched Il for 10 years. It also serves to confirm to him that they hate him and wants him to die, etc...
It is very interesting too that the majority of flashbacks we have of him (outside of the one in chapter 11 and some bits of ch1/185) are never from Suwon's POV, but from others and how they perceived Suwon and felt about him then. Hak in particular. Even the diary arc is not from his POV. It is always about the conflict between the characters' first impressions of him and other sides of him revealed to them later on. Suwon to characters and to readers alike is like a puzzle we try to resolve, picking him up piece by piece. Each POV about Suwon is important because he is seen differently by each character, they all see different parts of him and reveal new things about him in reaction.
But this is precisely where we differ from the characters individually and what makes the larger narrative not solely about Yona's subjectivity. As readers we can assemble each piece in a way characters, even Yona, cannot. Moreover, we are also shown some bits from his own POV that no one else inside the story get to see. That's why honestly...I don't see Suwon as a puzzle to piece together since a long time. Of course we don't know and maybe don't understand everything about him, but the characters' struggle to understand him is quite different from readers' position when they judge him one way or the other, in my eyes. The only way I can make sense of why the story would go out of its way to narrate things about Suwon only to us when he is a character all about being shown and seen, is that at the end of the day the larger narrative is and was never against Suwon, its scope includes him too, we are made to feel for him as well. It is only so hard with Suwon because he himself doesn't let us and has circumstances that doesn't allow him that. Akatsuki no Yona is very much about Yona's subjectivity above all, but not fully and totally either and it cares about other characters as well (whether it does it well or not is another topic), and the existence of a character like Suwon we are shown glimpses of the interiority of from the very first volumes highlights this well, I think.
Despite this, the characters' struggle didn't end. And that's where the nuance between what the larger narrative of Akatsuki no Yona tells us about him and what Suwon as a character-narrator shows and tells us is meaningful. Suwon is a fictional character that depends on a bigger narrator and author of course, but there are several layers of narration in comics art, some which embrace the mind and subjectivity of one chosen character and making them "independant", agent of what they show and tell.
When we are shown what Suwon thinks in chapter 217 or in chapter 221 for example, I don't think it was that Suwon as a character wanted to be seen, but only that he was breaking and vulnerable in a way that made these bits showable to us. The fact we see Suwon's thoughts is a representation of Suwon's emotional state. It's not something Suwon has agency over at his own level. He is not a narrator in those moments, but a character being shown.
More precisely, Suwon did try to resist the narrative in chapter 217. Inner monologues in comics and especially in shoujo manga can be represented in different ways and have different functions. In chapter 217, there is a visual contrast between the thoughts that "float" on the pages, his personal lingering feelings for hurting Yona, and the thoughts in the black boxes, that have him rationalize the situation. Generally, monologues in text boxes are said to be a more objective level of narration (I get this from the "How to draw shoujo manga" book by Shigeki Suzuki, a former editor for Dessert's magazine).
Obviously, Suwon is not objective here, but it represents his attempt to affirm his authority on what is told and narrated, his control on feelings he doesn't want to acknowledge and to get out in the open. He tries to be a narrator. The metaphor of a box that opens against his will is then perfectly fitting. There are the words typed in text boxes, and the words out of these boxes. In the very next page, the boundary between panels and text boxes is blurred thanks the magic of shoujo manga composition. The first two vertical panels could very much be text boxes on their own, and what he says in them is still him being pragmatic and rationalizing what he has to do. Yet, as we see, Hak is now in these boxes as well. It breaks the illusion of Suwon as a character-narrator here (which was already hinted at by the choice to make the bg of the text boxes so dark). He can't control his thoughts from going towards Yona and Hak, he is not showing that willingly.
What we see inside Suwon is him still performing the best he can. It's him trying to convince himself and push himself to fulfill his duties with no hesitation. It's still not all of him, there are still things that he tries desperately to hide and keep deep deep inside of discarded boxes. Inside and outside, he has to be the perfect pragmatic King his role ask, so all that is shown has to be that. He can't allow himself to be anything else, he has to shut off and erase any trace of different voices in his heart. Yona, by being a person that expresses and voices out her feelings more, brings these feelings Suwon doesn't want to show on the page, she shows them to us. Seen like that, Yona can maybe thematically be a representation of Suwon's repressed feelings.
(A bit differently but similarly, it is a similar process in chapter 221 where this time Suwon can't barely try in any effective way to narrate what he's thinking, what we see as panels and text boxes make no difference anymore, until it blows up for good when he has this flashback of Hak and Yona from chapter 11 and realizes he can't discard them. )
So, Suwon is a character that is shown to us in several ways. One, there is how he is seen from the outside, the way characters perceive what he shows to them or what is shown about him to them. This is the layer Suwon has the most control on in a way (even if not totally), as his position in the story makes him very conscious of his obligation to perform because people are watching him. He shows his full control and flexibility of his image in the ways he willingly pretends to be more naive and weaker than he really is to Geuntae, Soojin and Li Hazara for example. He plays with others' expectations and perception of him. Outside, Suwon is already full aware of how he is supposed to present himself, he already knows what is going to be shown or not for the most part. He allows himself to break out of character when he knows no one else watches him, which are the rare moments the narrative can show him when he's not performing. As the story advances however, these moments become much rarer as he is watched closely by more and more characters in his privacy.
On the other hand, there is how the higher narrative tries to show us his emotional state, his point of view and feelings. It is inherently something he as a character is very against of ever since he became King. Even then, what is shown to us at several occasions is Suwon's failure in showing us what he wants to show, instead having taken from/out of him what he doesn't want to reveal. The Crimson Illness is an interesting metaphor for it I think. It can easily be interpreted as a visible manifestation of Suwon's already existing struggles, after all. The Crimson illness makes all that is hidden visible to others. It gives it physical symptoms. Again and again, his illness and bloodline are revealed to others against his will. The illness is the crack to the performance Suwon tries to maintain as a strong King. It makes him vulnerable, forcing him to depend more on others. It breaks his role and how he wants others to see him. He wants to be seen as strong and independant and in control, but he can't control his episodes and when he is shown in a frail condition. It brings out what is inside, it makes his repressed thoughts visible to us readers as well, it's the reason why the narrative shows us his inner struggles more closely.
Suwon can only somewhat control and influence what is shown outside, which why I think he showed himself so little in the castle arc as an attempt to show himself only when he's in an "acceptable" state for it. In the end, he still pushes himself more than necessary when he has no other choice (and because he doesn't want to rely more on the people around him). However, after the South Kai arc Suwon knows important development. From then, Suwon has no choice but to face things for real : His is sick, heavily weakened and disabled by it, and is going to die soon. In parallel, he also acknowledges he can't discard Yona-Hak, and that he can and has to rely on them for Kouka's sake.
Chapter 243 is the very first time (Minsu aside I imagine, but we are not shown that) that Suwon himself tells someone directly about his bloodline and his illness. As said before, chapter 243 is an entire performance, but it's one where he got to choose the person he wanted to say these things to. However there is still a gap between what Suwon wants to show to Hak and what he doesn't want to show to others. The chapter is still framed not from Suwon's POV at all. Suwon has no privacy, even in a scene initially presented to be only between the two of them. The idea that at this point Suwon is allowed any privacy is unreliable framing influenced by Hak's flawed POV. Hak by then is not yet really aware of the existence and purpose of Suwon's personal bodyguards in detail. Suwon can convey messages undirectly, but because he still has to show himself a certain way to characters like the shadows he's not allowed to show things explicitely. He can only be seen through others' eyes, forced to rely neither on the images nor the text typed and shared by the narrator(s), but instead on the subtext and unintelligible scribblings. Suwon is still bound by the vow the Shadows made to themselves 10 years ago, but freed at the end by the vow bounding Hak to him. To Hak alone he can share his truth : that he can't and won't respond to his expectations, nor that he is only what he shows as King to others. No one else might understand, but he trusts Hak can get the message.
Then Suwon is attacked by Shinah, and at first we were not shown at all what Suwon was thinking and feeling. The second he wakes up in chapter 256, he leaves that behind him and thinks as a King again. However something important changed, obviously he still has people around him he has to act a certain way for, but the shadows are no more. The people left around him are more flexible and actually rejoice that Suwon decides to retreat. They don't know it was partly motivated by lingering feelings for Yona and Hak, but they're still more flexible and allows Suwon more privacy and agency.
So it brings us again to chapter chapter 261/262, which are to me the very first occurence of Suwon being allowed to be a character-narrator where he gets to truly show and tells his own story. Showing instead of being shown. Showing the experience and feelings of being seen. Chapter 262 doesn't only highlight the importance of gaze in Suwon's character, but is meaningful by making Suwon himself show it to Hak, and to us readers by proxy. This is what makes Suwon and Hak's interactions in this chapter so so important. Suwon, as already established, is still resolved to perform his duties as King until the very end. That's why he still doesn't show himself bare in front of the people of Kuuto, Mundok or Lili. He still has to be a strong King that inspires confidence and reassurance to them. He can't show that he is actually chronically ill and severely wounded. What citizens expect from the King is to be strong enough to withstand, resist, and win against all the disasters they face.
But when it's only Hak and Suwon alone next, Hak is of course annoyed. There is no one on the rooftop of the collapsing palace to watch and judge them. Suwon doesn't have to keep his armor, his King costume, and keep performing in front of him, acting like his wound doesn't hurt him this much and that he's perfectly collected. The shadows are no more, they're isolated from the city. Hak as we can see with chapter 200 or 224 is annoyed by all these roles and formalities and always go against them. This is what makes Hak free. Hak goes wherever he wants to be, will play any role needed to get there and let go of them when they get on his way. Hak says he sucks at letting go, but in a way he is much better at letting go of these things than Suwon is, even when he doesn't have to keep them.
Something interesting in this scene, as already pointed out by others, is the intent behind making Hak order Suwon to undress. Despite his tone, he still doesn't undress Suwon forcibly to then show him to all of us against his will, but encourages Suwon to act upon it himself. He is frustrated by Suwon's own passivity in regard to himself. Suwon has to ask for Hak's help, but it is still triggered by Suwon's own will. Hak forces Suwon to ask for the support he needs in order to have agency. Showing himself is difficult for Suwon, both literally because of his wound and emotionally because he is not used to it, so Hak helps him for it. Of course, the act of removing his armor and letting go of his father's sword is also when Suwon at long last can stop just performing as the King character he is supposed to be. Finally, through his trust in Hak, he can truly and openly show something different to us readers too.
Then Suwon talks about himself. Not just facts and objective information like he did in chapter 243, but how he feels and what /he/ sees. Finally, Suwon tells and shows.
This spread is one of my favorite of all times I think, because it just encapsulates everything I'm trying to explain with this post. Suwon is undeniably a character-narrator in this scene because of how he shows willingly and literally to someone else what he saw and felt, making this moment surreal. After all, it should be impossible for Hak to see that. The text in this spread is typeset like is any inner monologue and is not in speech bubbles. Hak, by the rules of narratology in comics is not supposed to hear any of it. They are thoughts inside of Suwon. However the last panel showing the bottom part of Hak's face seems to imply that Hak very much sees and hears it all. Hak here is in our exact position as reader, able to see, read, feel what Suwon is sharing inside of him. It's not something brought to the outside taken from him for it to be broken down, scrutinized and judged by others. Instead, Suwon makes us come to him inside. It is something incredibly private and intimate Suwon shows in full spread to Hak and us alone. It is precious. Suwon's narration transcends narrative layers to reach Hak's senses and ours at the same time. It represents how Shinah in dragon form is watching him, but by doing so he is very much the one to show himself and Shin-ah. It is not a first person narration where we would see things through his eyes, but a third person one, above. As a character-narrator, Suwon is obviously not at the top of the narrative hierarchy and Kusanagi is the one making all these narrative and laying out choices, but here, she lets Suwon carry the role of teller and shower. In chapter 249, she decided against showing that to us directly like she showed how he felt in chapter 221. She willingly gave Suwon the time and space to do it himself when he was ready to, to the person of his choice alone.
As Hak says at the end of chapter 262, Suwon can choose another path instead of repeating the same complicated one. As we've seen, his role as King indeed puts him in an overcomplicated and messy position where he has to jungle between clashing expectations and duties and his own feelings, making everyone and him first hurt in the end. From then on, Suwon can try another path for real.
In that same chapter before he removes his armor, Suwon also tells Mundok that he can't possibly influence the Heavens. So here, I have a final interpretation about this:
Aren't the Heavens the representation for a higher narrative layer? They're the ones making the "final" judgment and punishing characters or not, they're the ones making (one layer of) the narrative of the story through the prophecy. They can't be touched and reached for, they're in another world above the characters. Suwon is well aware that he is only a character with a defined role in the narrative, so to him, there is only so much he can do and it's pointless to fight against it. In chapter 268, Suwon says again that there's nothing he can do since they're not people. The Gods are the ones seeing and showing everything.
It is perfectly illustrated in chapter 268 with Yona. Yona didn't want to make it about Hak at all, she doesn't want to involve him in any of this, and doesn't openly mention and express her feelings for him inside the chalice because it is not her focus and priority then. Yet the Gods show everything against Yona's will and to her despair. They bring out and show her and us a majority of moments Yona shared with Hak, many that were supposed to be only with the two of them. But like the Shadows with Suwon, the Gods were always watching. Yona was able to make her own decision and was resolved to leave the chalice with the dragons before they brought this up in chapter 267. It is something shown about her and against her, they take from her any agency she had, she is trapped. Similarly to Suwon in chapter 221, she is forced to face feelings she underestimated the paralyzing power of.
However, I'd argue that Yona still managed to bring the Gods closer to us, at least from the invisible higher layer they were on the narrator hierarchy of the story to a layer inside the narrative. Again, she brought them on the page, she made them real, she made them characters and more "human". They're still entities with the power to show, but also visible characters that can be changed and talked with: they literally can be moved and influenced. Yona and Zeno showed them to us, in the sense of making them visible and revealing them to us readers. Maybe the way they treat Yona is their reaction against it, unconsciously. After all, bringing them on the pages of the story forced them to face their contradictions, it is threatening them. Unfortunately, by chapter 268 it still didn't strip them of their powers and ability to control the other characters' narrative.
But I think Suwon perfectly understood all of this. Suwon now has the power to show his perspective. Even if the Gods aren't people, he is free to choose the way he frames how he is seen and watched with his own subjectivity. He is now a subjective character, not only an objective (in the sense of being object) one. That's why his plan depends on getting the Gods' full attention on him. This page is so similar from Shinah looking at him in chapter 262 for a reason. Suwon now gets more control and freedom in what he can show and tell. Suwon literally brought the Gods down to us and showed them. It's not like Yona climbing up to them. Suwon has the power to influence the Heavens and the narrative, because Suwon is not only his static character role, but a character that can change and who we can openly feel for. He won't submit to the Dragon Gods' narrative like he was resigned to before. He is the narrative too. Like Yona or Hak or any other character we ever followed is. Akatsuki no Yona is a story about characters and their feelings, and Suwon can now fully embrace his power in it.
So I find the resonance between Suwon's developing agency in the narrative and the way readers engage with him really interesting. I guess Kusanagi didn't expect Suwon to be controversial the way he is to this day when she started the story and created him, but I like how she discusses it in the story and tied it so beautifully with his character arc. I said about chapter 243 that we shouldn't try to decipher Suwon's message, but actually I don't think that's true. I don't think Kusanagi is that pessimist about her readers. Sure, we see as much as the Shadows or as the Dragon Gods do but we're not them either. The characters share so much with us too, like seen in chapter 262. I think the story simply wants to encourage us to question how we engage with the characters and what we expect from them by representing caricatures of extreme fandom opinions (that can be pretty prevalent and very vocal unfortunately). Suwon himself was always a character we were encouraged to decipher, I think. Otherwise it would mean not trying to understand him at all because he played the role of an antagonist (or whatever he can be called) anyways, which is incredibly sad. I think we were always encouraged to resist against that and try to understand him despite his own resistance. Suwon needed to learn that it's okay to be vulnerable and show us, and that it won't make him less loved and cared for.
Suwon will probably always be a character that is scrutinized and judged in and outside the story, it keeps being so despite all recent developments. But today I am convinced that nor Suwon on his level as a character, nor the narrative will keep making him a character that is forever only seen by others anymore. Now we will see what Suwon sees and feels what he feels, he will show us. He will influence the Heavens and shake the narrative itself I'm sure, he will bring them all down to us.
I love you Suwon <3
#akayona#yotd#yona of the dawn#akatsuki no yona#suwon#soowon#lumen rants#i love you suwon#writing everything but my thesis im crying#i wonder if it could be said that while suwon brings others down#Yona moves the entire narrative higher and higher#like while Suwon brings specific characters to his level and strips them of their higher authority#Yona given her position as protagonist we follow the closest#brings the entire frame of what we see together with her. she goes to others#whereas Suwon brings others to him...or something#Yona doesn't really remove anyone's authority but she climbs up to their level#And within that I feel like Hak is kinda a free spirit that moves from one to the other lol...#I will keep observing and test this theory with the future chapters...we shall see...#it can be that deep#if you're interested in the topic of the narratology of comic art i recommend the book of the same name by kai mikkonen#the free pdf is easily findable#akayona thoughts#yona#princess yona#hak#honestly? the 30 pictures tumblr limit annoys me sm.#there is so much more i wanted to include here to illustrate. I hope it's not too hard to read.#yes suhak is that major and meaningful in the narrative and their love is groundbreaking too
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