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tyunningism · 2 days ago

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Fuck me like you mean it !!

── .✦ pairing: h.k x reader

Browsing an adult dating app is the last thing you should be doing when you’re failing your college classes, but who’s to blame you when you’ve got your eye caught on an anonymous user with a hot bod, apart from the nerdy guy in your chem class who’s tutoring you? xx

╰┈��MDNI - NSFW content ahead... …or in simple words… ɴᴇʀᴅ!ᴋᴀɪ x ᴘᴏᴘᴜʟᴀʀ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᝰ.ᐟ wc - 12.2k words

warnings!! and mentions!! switch!reader, blowjob, sex in public but enclosed space, vulgar language, reader’s a bit mean, stomach bulge, riding, cunnilingus, masturbation, sexting, slight nipple play, fleshlight use, big dick!kai agenda, lots of sex mention but overall quite mild i think !! Might’ve missed some things

tyunningism’s note: I seriously wasn’t planning on getting this done until like early July but every time I have time on my hands I end up coming back to finish off parts of this fic !?? Need to go on a whole course on how to write smut better bc I genuinely feel deenergised + decided to make reader filthy rich as well to add a bit more to her character !!??

“9 assignments Miss L/N.”

Fuck. Literally who decided to make the deadlines for chemistry so short?!! 4 months is barely anything- like- you have a life outside of college too you know?

“Thermodynamics study. Due 4 months ago. Submitted, nothing.

Kinetics research. Due 6 months ago. Submitted, nothing.”

The sound of pages flicking like your professor’s reading a whole criminal case log irritates you, it’s not like you didn’t complete anything?!

“Reactions thesis. Due 7 months ago. Submitted a video of yourself opening up a pair of Louboutins.”

“In my defense professor you didn’t tell me I submitted that video on accident until two days after it was due!”

“And I haven’t received a single updated document from you over the last seven months for that assignment.”

“Touché.” You dust off your pencil skirt too bored out of your mind to spare your babbling professor an ear, admiring the new manicure you got done when you were out in LA during finals last week.

“Ahem. Are you listening Miss L/N? I said at this rate you’re headed towards failing and needing to retake.”

Failing??

Ohmygosh failing!!!

“No you can’t do that Peter! My father’s going to kill me if you fail me this year!! And I need that credit card- so please? Can’t you just let me sneak in to second year?” Seems like batting your eyelashes is too old school now even for your ageing professor.

“It’s Jenkins, Professor Jenkins- remain professional will you? If I permit you to go ahead in to your second year what will I say to the board when they question why you’re lacking behind the rest of the class?”

God, this is unbelievable.

You roll your eyes and slide your manicured hands along his desk to flick to the gradebook with your nail, scanning your eyes along masses of F, F, F, F and oh- a D!!

Grinning like you’ve beat the stupid system you point at the D right next to your name,

“See? A D! That’s enough to get me a spot for next year right?”

“If you’re looking to apply for mopping the hallways of the Chemistry lecture halls then sure, but your grade has consistently failed to meet a pass in both semesters. I can’t figure why you qualified for this course when you show no skills nor interest in studying Chemistry.” He raises his eyebrows for your answer but all you can focus on is the huge zit between the wrinkles lining up on his forehead..gross.

Well, you don’t really know why you picked Chemistry because your brain can’t even handle the easiest topics apart from getting the mclaren you wanted for you birthday if you went ahead with it. Your father can’t blame you if you’re ass at the course can he?

You chew on the fat of your bottom lip, eyes squinting to observe your professor’s physiognomy: wrinkles carved in to his dehydrated skin, the coriander loosely hanging in between his teeth as he speaks and a balding head with hedgerows of graying hair sticking out measly. No way in hell are you sleeping with him for some stupid grade- at least save it for Professor Duncan who’ll fabricate a top grade in your Politics class if you send him some pictures (Haven’t tested the theory yet, but Momo’s sister said it worked and she graduated just fine).

By the looks of it you can’t fake your grades with a bit of daddy’s money like you did in Highschool to get you where you’re at right now, the Cartier watch that released this summer is glistening around his wrist and of course you can’t help but admire !! If the rumours are true he probably got it from his sugar mommy half his age, yeah..better to keep those emergency funds for the new collection miu miu’s dropping.

“This is serious Miss, staring at my face isn’t going to cut it.”

Fuck, now your old bum of a professor thinks you were checking him out. Even if he was the last man on earth you wouldn’t spare him a look..

“So, I’ve set you up with the top student for some tutoring sessions over the next couple of weeks, and an exam at the end of summer which will decide whether I can give you a pass in to next year. Take this as a warning, make use of Taehyun as best as you-“

Burning sensations sting in your palms which now laid slammed on to the mahogany of the wooden lectern. Taehyun? As in Kang Taehyun who you gave a wedgie to in 5th grade? What makes this old fart think that nerd won’t try to sabotage you instead of tutoring you?

“No! I’m not being tutored by that freak!” Steam is blowing from your nose as you utter the insulting words with defiance.

“I don’t see the issue with a well qualified student like Tae-“

“I’m sure the headmaster won’t see an issue when I show her the Venezuelan model you’ve been seeing on campus grounds either.”

It’s so rewarding to see him swallow his next words and close the gradebook in defeat.

Guess the rumours are true after all,

“Fine. I’ll ask Kai if he’s up for some extra credit.”

Except this time the name doesn’t ring a bell, hell- was there ever a Kai in your lecture hall? Sounds like he’s been celibate his whole life!

Shit, he’s been celibate his whole life.

The endless tapping of your pen starts to become monotonous in the silence of the library. If only your father didn’t threaten to freeze your card if you didn’t attempt to try and learn for once then you wouldn’t even think of showing up in a place like this. Megan was supposed to be bringing her hot brother to lunch today too..

The timid male doesn’t seem to speak much either, he keeps to himself and talks strictly in whispers as he goes over what he’ll be tutoring with you over the next week, dumb chemical reactions and what not..can’t you just graduate, get a degree and leave the actual work to people like Kai instead?

Kai’s some silent guy who sits at the very front of the lecture hall. Always clad in something loose like a hoodie even when it’s sweltering in Summer and religiously reserved to himself although he usually sits next to, gag, Taehyun.

Anyone else would say they see the back of his head more than they see his face and it applies to you too, always sat at the very back in your designated seats with your friends and scrolling Instagram, or better even, gossiping about the new hidden gem you guys found out about a couple weeks ago.

“Let’s arrange a meeting every..hm.. Tuesday?” His voice is hushed and gentle, barely above a whisper.

You lean across the small desk space offered to you with your hands intertwined and nestled below your chin.

“Say Kai, do you have Winkchat?”

Pretty amusing to watch him gulp and look down at his feet at the mention, a nerd like him probably has an insta feed filled with philosophical quotes or some shit, let alone an account on an 18+ dating app.

A hand leaves its spot from under your chin to brush the hair covering his eyes away; what’s the point of having those thickly framed glasses if he’s going to have his hair covering his eyes anyway?

But seems like your hospitality hasn’t grown on him at all because he flinches back so cartoonishly even if your finger is miles away from his face.

“S-Sorry!!! I was just startled, uhm..no I don’t have it.”

“Pfft, you don’t have to be tense with me Kai, promise I don’t bite.”

“Yeah..I know.”

If only you could see how he’s beating himself up over being so awkward right now. Of course he knows you, besides Taehyun’s never ending rants about the time you lied about having a crush on him in middle school upon piles and piles of other stories, Kai has known you for longer than you think.

The college’s princess, you and your friends are always walking around the campus with everyone spun and weaved around your finger like marionettes. There’s always a trail of the college’s varsity team trailing behind with their tongues panting at the sway of your hips and the stretch of your signature pink miniskirt your father shipped from Italy saddled on it. Heaps of shopping bags worth five times his tuition clung to their biceps; following you mindlessly like brain-dead zombies to load them in to the back of your sports car among countless others he can’t name.

You live a glamorous life in your tiny 6 inch heels and perfectly styled curls, dainty sunglasses buried pristinely on top of the crown of your head like embedded jewels that could feed a whole country if you ever bothered to auction them.

But he’s known of your prima donna life since he first started volunteering at a nearby animal shelter in high school, watching discreetly behind the shelves of donated food as you squat down to coo at a siamese the shelter’s been homing for years. Every Sunday he would wait for you patiently to enter through the double doors with your black Hermès handbag, all to drop it off in the volunteer room to change in to a poorly weaved ‘volunteer’ apron so you could help clean the cubicles and cages.

Kai doubts anyone else on campus has seen you more authentically than he has. After he stopped volunteering there he would take the longer route on his walk back to his apartment, walking past the shelter just to peep if your flashy sports car was still parked there as usual on Sunday. He doesn’t know when he pushed the whole ‘puppy love’ agenda by having a fat crush on you, he doubts you even notice him among the list of all the other guys head over heels for you.

”My friend Momo told me you’re a genius isn’t that like so crazy? Can’t believe people like you really exist and aren’t some super duper realistic robots made to only study maths and science. Oh my God- do you watch shows? Do you like..know who Rihanna is?”

His mouth drops absurdly in confusion; did he really seem that out of touch and abnormal to you?

“I do..maybe it doesn’t seem that way.”

What comes next is not what he was expecting because you’re clutching on to your stomach howling in laughter which only makes him frantic and wave his hands about to quiet you down before you both get kicked out of the library.

“Ahah- awhh, you’re so adorable Kai. I was only joking~ don’t get your panties in a twist over it.” Something please swallow him whole right now so you can’t see the beet red starting to grow on his face.

“Psst! Come on Y/N!! Sunghoon’s gonna take us carpooling downtown, don’t cancel on us now.”

An ecstatic Sullyoon rocks against the metal frame of the balcony above the library, beckoning you to join her and your other friends in to skipping classes again.

“Wait! I’m coming give me a second!” Packing the blank-paged note book and pens in to your bag you lock eyes with the strands of hair still blocking his,

“Sorry Kai! I know this isn’t ideal but I need to go like really really desperately so I’ll text you the details for the next session yeah?” A phone slides right in front of him on complete brightness which makes him wince, an empty contact page. The second he types in his phone number you hurry off in to the distance, the six inch heels strutting away still rings in his head minutes after you leave the library, still giddy he finally got to talk to you.

Out on the college parking lot is Sunghoon’s parked Cadillac convertible with a couple of girls including Sullyoon and Momo leaning against it while they conversed with him.

“Hey princess.” The taller male whistles at you with an all-too recognisable girl sweetly attached to his arm.

“Why call me over if you’ve got company? I don’t carpool if I’m not in the passenger seat.” Your hand digs in to your handbag for a pack of tissues which you offer to Rue, who’s still clinging on to Sunghoon’s arm.

“You’re starting to sweat on your nose beautiful, we don’t want that in your car do we Hoon?” A voice so alluring could make Sunghoon sign off to enlist his whole life serving in your name, triggering Sullyoon and Momo in to boisterous laughter when he shakes Rue off him slightly too aggressively to save her any face.

“Quick, hop in losers!” Sullyoon beckons.

“Ugh fuck!” The discarded girl watches as you buckle yourself in to the front seat of the leather-back rest as a slender hand tussles through your hair to frame your face in harmony with the sun.

“Oh, and tell your brother thanks for the manicure by the way~ Ask him if my cunt tasted good.” With that, Sunghoon presses down on the accelerator which carries you out of campus grounds and on to the high way with dangerous ease.

“Wooo!! You’re such a bitch Y/N don’t get me wet now.” Momo leans forward and swings her arms around you with a beer can loosely held in her hand, a smile forms on your face watching Sullyoon drag her back in to the back seat before they got fined for not having seatbelts on at this speed.

“What else can you expect of our college princess? That bitch really has some nerve trying to climb in to our circle through Hoon, and you horny fucker let her!” An aggravated Sullyoon kicks the back of Sunghoon’s seat playfully all the while recording the blocks of apartments and houses flash by in laughter.

“I think she’s quite cute is she not? Still pales in comparison next to you though.” Additional warmth from Sunghoon’s hand resting on your thigh triggers you to open your mouth again,

“Gross, you’re like a brother to me Hoon.”

“Oh really? Sunghoon told us he fucked you stupid at the birthday party he threw for you.”

And this is why you should’ve kept your loud mouth shut.

A questioning eye burns through Sunghoon’s conscience,

“Hoon!! Why would you tell them that?! And for clarification I fucked him stupid, not the other way round and it sucked.”

Sunghoon chuckles but with an underlying tone; like he’s pissed off by your bold accusation (the truth) because it hurt his fragile masculinity by a mile.

“Sounds like someone needs to get laid.”

“Yeah, I’m aware, thanks Hoon.”

“Didn’t I tell you to try out Winkchat?” Just hearing the words come out of Sullyoon’s mouth makes you groan in frustration.

“I have standards baby, I’m not going to fuck the first guy I see on my recommended because his limp dick flashed me when I opened up the goddamn app.”

“But the moment you hit gold like Sullyoon did with her man you’ll be addicted literally.”

Fine. You’ll give the stupid sexting app another chance.

Unlocking your phone you swipe among hundreds of other apps to tap on to the pink icon, thousands of message requests and notifications flooding your account with just a photo of your face and an a-line shirt is enough to drive any man crazy in this day and age.

As you expected to see on the explore page, another tiny weiner pic. No chance.

Some gym bro in Manhattan who spent all his effort in his arms and no where else and now looks top heavy, laughable.

And a man who dresses like we’re stuck in the 1800s.. what great luck do you have.

Just as you’re about to swipe off the app and delete the tab your thumb accidentally swipes to the next profile.

A subtle picture of a hand discreetly lifting up a band tee, teasing, revealing only a fraction of dimly shaded but defined abs under neath from a low angle, a long etched dragon tattoo running between the ridges of muscle and painted with a slight beauty mark.

There’s no face in any of the profile’s slides at all but it’s enough to captivate your eye, ranging only from pictures of his abs to a video of him playing guitar, a freshly made account by the looks it with nothing else in the bio except his age and the city you were also in. Jack pot, a straight friend request to user ‘kkh.txt’.

An arm reaches to snatch your phone away out of your hands. “You’ve been silent this whole time because you’re back on Winkchat tut-tut, knew you’d be hooked. And hey who is this!! He’s got a hot bod, shame you can’t see what he looks like.” Momo snatches the phone off Sullyoon to inspect the same montage of abs, tattoos and guitar playing videos.

“I can tell he’s hot just by looking at the posts, he’s not pushy with it or flashing his shit, he knows he’s sexy as hell geez.”

“Not that I care about what he looks like, that tattoo on his stomach fuckk come my way!” You snatch your phone back and take a couple of screenshots of his profile to save for..later. But Sunghoon has other plans,

“Let’s head to the tattoo shop actually I’ve been wanting to-“

“Don’t even think about it Hoon. I’d actually retch on the spot if you came out with one of those tacky poorly coloured rose tattoos.” Momo jokes, which sparks more anger in Sunghoon’s already fuming head.

“Ah! I forgot I was going to ask, how’s that nerd who’s tutoring you? Is he not super sweaty in that hoodie?”

How were you supposed to know Sullyoon?!!

“Hmm, he’s a bit awkward and all over the place. But he’s quite cute actually, in the sense that he’s entertaining to watch because he flinches at everything.” The events of trying to brush away his hair replays in your mind again, yeah he’s probably never felt a woman’s touch before.

“So would you fuck him?” Sunghoon mutters through gritted teeth like he’ll explode if you said something he didn’t like.

But honestly? Yeah you’d fuck a nerd. It’s the ego boost that really gets you going and the way they practically yearn for a bit of action on their virgin dicks, exactly your type really as much as you’d hate to admit.

“Why not, he’s got pretty lips and he’s tall.”

“Eww!! The bar is in hell girl.” Momo sticks two fingers in her mouth and retches a fake gag.

“Watch it be the next new trend to fuck nerds the moment word gets out that she does, that’s so fucking hilarious!”

All the talk about it being gross doesn’t put you off though, in fact it only intrigues you further, what if Kai could eat pussy like a champ? It’s not like it’s a crime to try is it?

“I can’t believe her.” Taehyun scowls through his bared canines. He jabs his cutlet with a plastic fork from the campus’ canteen and lifts it on to Kai’s plate.

“Hearing her name is enough to ruin my appetite.”

Kai, who gladly accepts the cutlet, pays no mind to the start of what’s going to be another of those ‘Taehyun’ rants about you that never end. Instead his eyes are glued to his faint reflection in the glass behind his best friend.

“I think she’s quite nice. Better than what you’d expect from how devilish you describe her.”

“Because she is the devil Kai! Have you not been listening to all those traumatic sufferings I’ve had to deal with since 5th grade because of her?” Taehyun pushes up the round thick glasses back up his nose, the outdated kind you’d expect to see in a retirement home and not someone in their early 20s.

“I think you’re being dramatic Tyun.”

“You think I’m being dramatic? That spawn from heck freaking ditched you thirty minutes early today! She treats people like they’re insects.”

Not that Kai would mind if you treated him like an insect, he’s already over the moon that you acknowledged he exists today.

“Do you think I should get a haircut?”

The suddenness of the question knocks the air out Taehyun’s lungs, causing him to cough and spit all over his (and Kai’s) food, a hand quickly grasping for water which only makes it worse.

“W-what?! Since when did you care so much about how you looked Kai..I thought you liked it long!”

He does like it long, but he also wants to prevents another woeful incident where he flinches away simply because you wanted to move the hair out of his face.

“I do it’s just more..convenient? I might ask Beomgyu if he can take me to his uncle’s barber shop later once he finishes Chess Society after lunch.”

The answer is straight from the heart and sincere so of course Taehyun can’t say no! Not to an angel like Kai who people pleases everyone at the chance.

That’s when he sees it, a small ping!- that lights up his phone to reveal a lock screen of some anime character you for sure wouldn’t be able to name.

‘y/n.553 sent you a chat request, chat back to her now ❤️🔥’

His eyes nearly jump out of his head. It can’t be, right? Just someone with the same name, just a mere coincidence.

“I’ll catch you later Taehyun I need to go submit in something.”

Regardless of the other man’s bewildered cries, he leaves in a hurry with his phone clutched tight in his clammy hands and right in to the men’s bathrooms. Not the greatest place he could hide his screen right now but it’s all that came to mind.

Defintely you. He can’t mistake that face for anyone else. Your profile isn’t even completed, only filling two out of three slides with a selfie and a beach photo that you also posted to your instagram, but the flame next to your name suggests you’re receiving loads of requests and a hot topic anywhere, even on dating apps.

Originally, he created an account to boost his confidence about the abs he worked on all through last summer after being stuck on gym propaganda while Beomgyu was crashing at his apartment; except Beomgyu’s motivation to become the bulky ‘jock’ and not a neek he aspired to be died within the first week of training.

It’s what pitched Kai to get a tattoo in the first place when he realised how big of a turn on it was for women who started to flood his profile with messages. Nothing more nothing less than a side practice to keep his confidence up a bit when he was basically invisible to the rest of his peers in real life.

Though this, this is different. Something more electrifying, experimental and dangerous if he had the guts to reply back; a shaky index lightly hovers over the ‘message’ button next to your icon, shit he’s doing it.

y/n.553: Youre hot. Where did u get the tattoo frm

Truth be told Kai doesn’t know how to make an impression on you, all he knows is that as long as you’re unaware it’s him, he can make as bold of a persona as he likes.

You: Downtown at Ink-lution. Heard of it before pretty?

y/n.553: No but it sounds niche thats so hot

y/n.553: thats the equivalent of buying me a necklace and choosing Chopard

All the names you’re throwing at him are cryptic in his mind, still thinking of what to respond without letting his awkwardness seep through as he leans an arm against the stall door.

you: yeah I wasnt gonna get it at first but im glad I did.

y/n.553: Asking for a friend do you have more ab pics x

Ab pics? Now? He infers you must’ve liked the profile he’d meticulously picked out if you were asking not so secretly for more pictures of his abdomen. Kai’s not going to say no to you though, he’s more enthusiastic than he ever has been to lift up the entirety of his hoodie just below his nipples and test a couple of angles and lighting. Must’ve kept you waiting with how long it took for him to decide on which to send out of the billions he took, but he settles on a simple photo, leaned back against the stall door and a full shot of his abs only on surface level, but if your eyes wandered you’d spot the purposely unzipped fly of his jeans to reveal a pair of black Calvin Klein boxer briefs.

When he hit send he expected a quick thank you or something commenting on the photo, but after 5 minutes there was nothing on your end making him doubt in all the decisions he made in taking the photo or even the way he texted you since the start.

Yet through the screen he can’t see the sweat beading down your forehead nor the hand snug between your thighs. Your back arches like a sculpture from the comfort of your mattress as your fingers naïvely dance around your core, flicking and rubbing mindlessly at a sore clit you just can’t seem to get the pleasure out of to orgasm!!

There’s no way in telling whether the unzipped fly was intentional or not but the subtle naughtiness of it makes your mouth drool at the thought. Whoever this was you needed to fuck, now, like real bad.

Stained fingers are wiped along the bare of your chest as you swipe off the photo to send a voice message, needy and dripping with want.

“Can you..please say something crazy, fuck I’m gonna lose my mind.”

Kai jumps from how breathy you sound, instinctively turning down the volume just so he could hear your voice. He thinks he’s going to go insane from how desperate you sound through breathless panting; you’re touching yourself to his photos and that’s enough to make his knees buckle in and tighten his boxer briefs.

He checks to make sure no one else is within earshot of him before he says the most humiliating line in his decades of living; something completely stolen from a crappy porn site he found himself on a couple days ago. He nervously presses down on the record button and hushes his voice an octave lower than usual,

“Be a good girl and cum for me.”

Looks as if you couldn’t decipher that the voice belonged to him because you only respond with a photo of your dripping cunt, leaking your juices on to your bed sheets where two manicured fingers spread open your gaping hole.

y/n.553: want you to fill it up, pls?

Slight confession though- Kai’s never touched let alone sexted a woman before, he’s still vaguely new to the whole sending nudes thing; but the ache in his pants and the lewd material enveloping his brain only increases his blood pressure by gallons directly headed towards his dick.

He remembers watching a guy do a whole step to step tutorial on how to jerk off extra good, having to lubricate his hand with a glob of his own spit and giving himself a couple of beginner strokes. Whenever his hand lightly rubs along one of the sensitive veins that grows thicker towards the base of his cock he hisses, having to pause or else he’ll cum on the spot just from imagining you.

[kkh.txt sent you an attachment]

Your jaw fucking drops is an understatement.

Withdrawing from your attempts at a second orgasm and sitting up straight on your bed to analyse the dick pic the anonymous user had sent was a new experience for sure.

He’s huge. God he’s monstrous even. Coke can girth you’d only expect to see on those heavily edited porn thumbnails and curved with a bulbous tip which sits prettily above the bulging veins leading to it. A pearl-like bead of pre-cum emerging from his pink dusted tip!! <3

There’s pretty much hearts in your eyes as you rush towards your wardrobe of your secret stash of sex toys hidden in a glittery pink box below your handbag collection; a couple of handcuffs and vibrators are strewn against the carpet in the process but you eventually find what you were looking for.

A 7.2 inch silicone dildo you stupidly assumed you could handle when you bought it six months ago, but the stretch of it was so insane you couldn’t think properly as you tried to sink down on it, and now when you compare it to the picture the anonymous tattoo guy had sent you can immediately tell the flimsy piece of silicone was no match for him.

y/n.553: ❤️

y/n.553: how big r u? looks huge

Kai gulps because he genuinely doesn’t know, he’s never thought of himself as huge even if he knew he definitely wasn’t small down there either. If he was attempting to measure with his hand which isn’t too far off the size of his dick then he guesses it would be around 8 inches.

kkh.txt: Uhm, never rlly measured but im guessing 8 inches.

8 inches?!! You’d have to make a trip to the ER if you ever let that thing inside of you!

You crawl to the full length mirror and spread your knees apart to sit back down on your legs, the dildo placed in the gap between as you watched where it reached in the mirror to quickly snap a photo.

y/n.553: This is only 7 inches..imagine how full youd make me feel with 8..

Kai’s face burns as he observes the way your hand points at where you’d feel him in your stomach, there’s something so sexy in the way you talk that makes Kai feel light headed and drunk on your sex energy. All he can think of is how he’d absolutely break you if he ever got too harsh with you and if that’s the case he’s fine with paying any medical fees !!

Over the past week you’ve dedicated all your time you usually would spend on shopping or getting your hair styled has been directly spent on messaging the hot tattoo guy on WinkChat. Momo’s right- the moment you’re hooked it’s impossible to stop.

Except one thing that’s frustrating you out of your mind and the sole reason for the graying hairs ready to pop out of your scalp any moment now; you seriously know nothing about the guy and it doesn’t sound like he’ll ever share anything about him or his whereabouts before you could even get a taste of the big dick heaven that should be awaiting you.

Which is why you’re complaining to Momo over the phone right now with a bowl of acai in your hands,

“I’m telling you girl he’s got the biggest dick I’ve ever seen in my life. Oh my god I sounded like a virgin there didn’t I?!”

“Whatt? Even bigger than San in business?” Momo queries, you can hear the soft buzz of tv in the background of her audio; what a bitch! Is your dilemma not entertaining enough for her or something?

“Ehh, San’s big but he’s got no flair to it you know? Feels more like a stone pillar fucking me rather than a monster cock.”

A line of laughter erupts from the other end of the phone at your joke but Momo doubts a faceless guy blessed in the below will be any different to San.

“Ugh it completely skipped over my head that I have tutoring today! The moment my dad sets foot on the soil of this country again I’m going to complain.”

“Tell the nerd guy you’re seeing to tutor you at your house instead of the library, the college princess caught in that stink chamber? No thanks.”

Groaning, you end the call in annoyance, walking up to the pink double doors that led to the marble tile of your walk in closet. Not feeling the miniskirt today you nimbly waiver your hands over the racks of unnecessary clothing starting to build up as clutter.

A light pink baby tee? You wore something similar last week- can’t do that.

Pair of Ed Hardy jeans? It’s way too warm to be wearing those.

Milkmaid tops you’ve never worn in your life? Possibly could work but you’re sure there’s something better, something that would make Kai convulse and foam at the mouth if he saw you.

Got it.

Where were you? Kai’s been sat patiently at the study table he’s reserved for the tutoring session for at least 20 minutes and you still haven’t appeared strutting through the doors. Perhaps you were sick and just forgot to tell him? Or you overslept on accident all the way to 12:45 in the afternoon? It’s okay, he’ll just finish off his thermodynamics extended project in the mean time.

“So sorry Kai! I know I’m late I just had to go to the drugstore it’s super urgent- my favourite La Mer lipgloss ran out and I can’t live without it!”

But Kai can barely register a word you’re saying when you walk in through the doors dressed like this; a blue cropped button-up top which is tied just below your chest to reveal a smidge of your white-laced bra and a pair of light denim shorts branded with diamonds that spelled ‘hot’ across the globe of your ass. Your stomach is on full display which only makes Kai oggle harder retracing to the conversation a couple nights before.

He indirectly measures with his eye how far he would really go if he entered you and believe it or not he doesn’t think it’s humanely possible.

“Still have time to stare through those bangs of yours?” You chuckle loudly at him watching as the timid male be in denial so quickly about you catching him staring, not that you minded or anything if he really was.

“I-I didn’t mean to stare it’s just..don’t you get d-dresscoded for wearing that?”

Shoving his laptop and a couple of loose sheets in to his backpack for him you lean down over the table to try and meet his gaze despite the hair being a barrier,

“Honey, have you seen the art majors? I doubt the college board cares and plus I wanna sit at that table over there, not here.”

Kai can’t even retort back to you even if he’s worried that someone’s reserved the desk for later, distressingly following behind you as you guided him to the very back of the library even he didn’t know about!!

Turns out if you wandered far enough behind the foreign language books that not many people ever think to visit you’d find a small table with cushioned benches to study on.

“Woah..how do you know about this place?”

“My dad donated the chairs and tables for the library so this is the spot my friends and I used to use when we wanted to skip classes, isn’t it sweet?” A sleekly glazed wooden table becomes racked with Kai’s study materials and your once again empty note book and pen within seconds.

The pen in your hand taps lightly against your lip in a rhythmic motion, suddenly deep in thought about something as you made yourself comfortable on the benches.

“I don’t know the answer Kai.”

A confused male looks up from his laptop screen to gaze at you, tilting his head befuddledlby at your strange statement.

“Wha..what? I haven’t asked any questions yet..”

A new set of fresh acrylics tap gently at the pop quiz sheet Kai had constructed to see where you were at in your basically non-existent knowledge of chemistry.

“I don’t know anything on that sheet Kai, we’re going to have to go basics.” You jut your lip out in to a pout and play with the loose thread emerging from Kai’s sage cotton sweater at the wrists,

“Can we start off slow?~ I don’t think I can handle all of it.”

It’s like a massive lump has just blocked his ability to speak since your effect on him is so strong, he’s unsure of whether you know how teasing your words can sound in a different context or if you’re just really empty-headed and all-over-the place.

“Uhm..y-yeah. Should we start off with atomic structure then?” His stutters become more prominent the more he feels under pressure from your sly gaze; brewing something scandalous in your irises as you take the image of a nervous Kai as your key ingredient.

“Okay so..uhm there’s quite a lot of note taking in this part so if I go uh..too fast just let me know.”

The bubbling curiosity within you is distracting yourself from the familiarity of his voice you can’t quite put your finger on, all too focused on wanting to see the eyes of the bashful nerd you’ve got on your hands for the next hour.

“So the basics are that the atom consists of protons and neutrons in the nucleus and- nghh.”

One hand flies straight up to slap against his mouth, completely in utter shock at the explicit moan that sounded through his lips, another hand holding strictly against the flat of your heel which was pressed directly over his crotch to restrict it from moving any further.

His mouth is open wide in shock and quivering like he’ll bust if you moved your foot a single inch,

“I didn’t get the rest of that Kai, can you repeat it?”

Kai looks over with near tears in his eyes, there’s no way this is happening right- did you finally figure out kkh.txt was him? His whole world is flipping upside down as the growing erection in his sweats becomes more unbearable by the second; he can already see the headlines of college gossip coming after him- ‘pervert nerd gets hard in the library over a heel’. Fuck he’s doomed.

“U-uhm. So..” His voice can’t seem to pick back up on the information dump he was spouting seconds before, quivering lips and a shaky voice like he’s about to start crying.

“The electrons..are fuck, they’re in fixed energy s-shells we learnt that in middle s-school.” The grip on your heel is tight, but all that you need is to slip your foot out of the restraints, dragging down the flexing muscles in his thigh from how stiff he’s becoming, it’s cute really.

“Are we..are we really going to do this here?” His voice cracks as he shivers from your touch,

“Well, do you want me to continue Kai? No one will spot us back here~”

No words come out of him with the exception of a hum and a weak nod.

“Kai, I need words, will you let me make you feel good?”

There’s tears awaiting to spill from his eyes because he’s so embarrassed that this is how his first time is headed, but he would sell his soul for you to touch him just once, so hard in his sweats he might come undone from your gaze alone.

“Please..want it” In a voice so meek and timid all you can do is coo at him, turning around the table to stand up in front of him with a finger glamourised with rings that felt cold and bared against the clammy warmth of his cheek and it’s like he doesn’t even try to breathe when you’re in front of him.

In one swift motion you lift up the soft trenches of hair covering his eyes to reveal a set of soft brown irises; endearing and fucking gorgeous?!! Kai’s inherited the kind of eyes that make men go to war with how soft and pleading they are; beautifully adorned with glistening tears from how desperate he is for release adjourned with the rosy speckles dusting his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. The whole sight is everything you want in a man- weak, pining and tearful just for you !! ><

The absolute control you have over his lust only dampens your victoria’s secret panties you’re sure to gift Kai later for how good he’s being for you right now, leaning down to give him a quick peck he’s scrambling all the depths of his mind to figure out how to respond to.

“God you’re so adorable I fucking crave for cute nerds like you Kai, wanna see what you’ve got under the-“

“C-can I keep the sweater on?” Kai questions in a soft tone, but seriously? Fucking in a library with a sweater on? Whatever, he’s probably just over complicating things or doubting his frame but you could care less about any of it right now; especially when you’ve become engrossed with the natural-born pleading face this man just comes with!!

You give him a quick nod before removing the headband from your head and brushing back his bangs with it gently,

“Wanna see your face when I make you feel good okay pretty boy?” Shit. Kai could cum untouched right now with how you’re making his mind spin with the compliments, his thought process is lagging behind ten times its normal rate when you lean down to pull down his sweats with a hooked finger.

But in that tiny head of yours you couldn’t imagine Kai to be any bigger than around 4 inches assuming that he’s never been able to reach a girl with it. Likewise, you even prepared to ruin him with your throat alone; he looks as if he’d be so easy to excruciate pleasure out a tiny dick, he’d probably cum within seconds <3

But for Kai to be about 8- no, more than that with how it’s still growing in your hand, probably 8.2 inches and thick enough to tear your mouth if he really wanted to..

All colour drains from your face as you admire in both shock and fear..honestly you don’t even know if you can even handle a monster like this, the thought of it entering you sending shivers down your spine. You don’t even realise you’re drooling on to the floor from staring at the way your hand can barely wrap around the circumference of it. Who knew a nerd packing all of this would’ve slipped right under your nose?

Kai’s not keeping up well either, clenching down on his teeth and gripping the edge of the bench as best as he can to prevent himself from leaking anymore trails of precum from his painfully red tip. He just can’t help himself when he sees you on your knees all laid out prettily for him as your eyes sparkle every single time he twitches when your finger runs along his vein. His breathing fastens when he locks his eyes on the slight curve of your chest as you admire him so openly- boosting his ego to the moon.

“Kai..you’re- you’re fucking huge. I don’t know if I can take it.” You whine and point a dainty finger at your throat with a pout, brows in panic from imagining the stretch like you’re telling him he’s too big for you to handle, too big for you to fit all of him in and Kai has to hold back from releasing all over your face if he deeps your words again too much.

Nonetheless you’re still begging to get a taste of him now that you know his true potential. Giving sweet little kitten licks around his flushed tip, using two fingers to lightly squeeze around it for another glob of precum to leak out of his slit.

“Taste so good pretty, just be good for me okay?”

Your unoccupied hand reaches to fondle Kai’s balls as your pop his tip fully in to your mouth, lapping your tongue around in a swirling motion which makes him shut close his eyes and dig his fingernails in to the cushion of the bench even further.

Pulling off of him with a pop!- A glob of spit lands in your hand, the strings of saliva still connected to your lip as you lube his cock with your fluids, preparing yourself before hand so you have a better attempt of taking him all in !! <3

The heaviness of his cock twitches uncontrollably as you twist your wrist along his shaft, the receptors in his veins pulsing and sending waves of pleasure in to his blood stream every time you squeezed a bit too hard around one of them.

“P-please ah! Don’t tease..” Poor boy has tear stains around his eyes from how hard he’s constraining himself, his thighs are flexed so hard they’re seconds away from cramping and his lips are on the verge of drawing blood if he bites down any harder.

“Mmhm.” You hum around him as you start to take him in deeper, not even half way when you have to stop to let your throat adjust, suctioning around him so tightly he’d rather die than let you go. The moment you feel your throat retract you push further down past half way until it physically felt impossible for you to reach or deepthroat, using your hand to jerk whatever length you couldn’t reach.

The usual neatness of your hair comes apart in seconds the moment you start to pick up the pace, head bobbing up and down as you tie your hair with your other hand in to a makeshift ponytail. Occasionally, you’d gag whenever you felt his hips start to buck in to your throat with need, the extra unexpected length pushing you to tears.

The obscenity of the lewd noises of fluids and spit, whenever you lips detached from it to lick long stripes along the curve of his cock, mascara starting to collect at your undereye from tears caused by the stretch of him in your throat.

Kai believes he’s on a completely different universe by now. There’s no thoughts in his head apart from how pretty you looked and how close he was to cumming down your throat, the scene so erotic it’s more addicting than any other variation of porn or hentai he’s ever watched in the sanctity of his apartment- fuck it’s more than that, he wants to burn this image of you in to his mind forever so that he can use it for later.

“Shit Y/N nghh! I’m going to cum you need to augh!- wait..” The blissed male attempts to pry you off of him with screwed shut eyes fearful he was going to cum down your throat, but you do anything but that. Instead you nuzzle your chin all the way down to the furthest point you can reach and jerk him off; waiting for the warmth of his cum to shoot far down your throat for you to swallow.

“W-wait!! I really am going to cum, fuck mmh!~ I-is it really okay?” Whatever he’s pleading doesn’t matter because the next thing you know he’s splurging the thickest load you’ve ever had to swallow, dragging down your throat with high viscosity. Some of it drips down the corner of your lips as he smears his sensitive tip along your beaming smile.

“You did so well for me baby, you’ll have to let me do this more often- wanna see how far I can really go.” Opening up a pack of makeup wipes you clean up the mascara stains and pack your things up, leaving Kai speechless, hot and bothered and also another tutoring session gone to waste.

“I need to see results. Going to tutoring and coming back with no notes is never going to stick in your brain.” The bellow of your father’s voice echoes through the halls of your empty house- he’s come back from his annual business trip and what do you have to show you’ve been working? Absolutely nil, zero nothing.

Groaning, you call over a nanny to set up the plates, you’re not going to sit down for dinner with a father who’s going to moan at you all day for making you choose a course you can’t do!

“I am working !! We went over like electrons and proteins and stuff of that sort.”

“By working you mean pressuring someone in to telling you all the information while you post all sorts of stupid photos!”

“It’s instagram you old fart! The version of like facebook or something for your millennia! Anyways I need to go because Megan’s calling me to go shopping with her at the night plaza asap.” Earrings and hoops among other clattering items like studded belts and heels ring behind you as you start to walk off in the same clacky-heels you always wear.

“I’ve suspended all of your bank accounts.”

“Nice try father, stores still use cash nowadays.”

“The maids found your cash stack in the small compartment below your vanity.”

That’s your breaking point.

“Father!! You can’t just let them go snooping in my room like that!” Oh you’re fuming- what’s going to happen next? They find your secret sex toy collection and then your father’s going to have to take away your closet?

“Tell the boy who tutors you to come around next Friday for dinner, I want to see that you’re at least trying to learn.”

“Fine! But only if you hand me back everything after.” Boiling with rage you shove past the maids by the door and up the cold marble stairs, if you weren’t aiming for more hair growth this summer you would’ve definitely ripped out more than a couple strands by now.

Reaching your bedroom you finally slump on top of a pile of eiderdown pillows, whipping out your phone to message Kai about the arrangement.

Speaking of Kai, you think you’ve gone insane.

Ever since you left the library that day you couldn’t forget the imprint of his dick in your throat and the needy look in his eye. His moans were literal heaven to your ears, so sensitive and breathy you seriously couldn’t get enough of it!! However the downside now is that you can’t even get off your fingers anymore because now all that you desire is Kai, like he’s drugged you with some sort of addictive attraction towards him that only pushes you to want for more.

A quick dial to your ex fuck buddy Soobin should get him off your mind right? He’s got that same yearning face in him although less intense than Kai and you can bet your whole LV collection on him that he’ll show up to your door in less than 5 minutes if you really needed him to.

“Hello?”

“Hey Binnie, can you come over? I got in to an argument with father.” You mewl a little to make yourself seem as pitiable as you can.

“So, let me get this right. You’re asking to fuck?”

“Bingo! You got it Binnie so can you like please come over in five?”

The long and weighted sigh on the other end of the line does not sound like good news.

“Can’t, sorry princess I’m out of the country right now. Goodbye.”

Soobin ends the phone call without another word which only makes you dead pan at the white contact screen again.

“Ugh fuck you Choi Soobin! Couldn’t he be a little bit more considerate?” You turn to lay on your back and open up WinkChat, not even needing to scroll down to find his username at the top of the chats.

you: send me a vid of u masturbating now.

kkh.txt: now??? im at a friend’s apartment.

you: please??

Quickly snapping a photo of your exposed boob barely covered by the padding of your finger is all the anonymous user needs to take his sweet time in recording what you wanted.

“Hey..Taehyun I’m gonna use the shower okay?”

Taehyun scribbles away a couple of notes while watching a league of legends game play at the same time, only having the brain power to send Kai a quick thumbs up before he disappears behind the doors of his apartment bathroom.

Kai’s fucking hard. Every single photo of you tortures him internally when all he can think about is the feeling of your tongue wrapped so prettily around him. He zooms in to the photo eagerly to peek at the swell of your tit, instinctively looking around to see if anyone was around despite being isolated in a bathroom out of shame for being so dirty.

A nosebleed is going to come flowing down his nose any second now was he turns on the shower, letting the pitter-patter of water hopefully drown out the sounds of his moans as he sets up his camera directly facing his naked self sat on the toilet lid but cut off from revealing his face.

The camera starts recording and he’s already lost on what to do, spotting what he thinks is Taehyun’s body lotion that he uses like his life depends on it for his eczema; Kai prays it isn’t expensive as he loads a sample of it on to his palm before lazily stroking down his aching cock.

He wasn’t supposed to bring this with him today, but he was planning on asking you to go on video call later when Taehyun went for his night shift leaving him alone, a fleshlight being pulled straight out of his bag he was intending to use that he bought on a whim.

He starts off guiding the sex toy down his lubed dick, groaning in pleasure at how tight the mound of silicone flesh is around him; he imagines it’s your walls wrapped around him, thought he hopes it would be warmer in side of you than the chill of the bathroom.

“Shit.” Kai picks up the pace and squeezes the fleshlight harder around the tip, his hands moving in a vertical movement as he slides the silicone down the ridges of his cock, squelching Taehyun’s lotion in an explicitly sexual sound which formed a ring of white around the base.

Doesn’t even think to slow down to catch his breath, he completely is just aiming towards chasing the same high you gave him, wrist starting to become lazy as he whimpers whenever the stimulation around his leaking tip gets too much!! Fundamentally he’s fucking up in to the fleshlight now, hips jerking upward whenever the toy would squeeze too hard around his vein with a plethora of whimpers flooding out of his mouth with no restriction. The flitter of the shower starts to steam up around him which only fogs up Kai’s head even more, still thinking about how deliciously your pussy would nestle around him, how you’d leave a pool of slick below him from just how wet you are!! <3

Kai’s knuckles are starting to show the white of his bone from how hard he’s squeezing the moment he feels the same anticipation of release, unable to keep his moans quiet as he spurts ropes of white all over his lap, his chest heaves rapidly while he snaps out of his trance, making sure to leave a taunting message at the end of the video,

“I’d fuck you so good if you let me.” Sent! Straight to your shared chat together,

Sure enough you send him floods of praise, particularly around the flex of his abs around his tattoo when he came.

Just when Kai’s about to properly head in to his unusually ‘longer’ shower a notification rings on his phone.

Y/N^u^: Can you come to my house for tutoring on Friday? Shellsby Manor, XXX-XXX, arrive before 6 k?

Sounds like Professor Jenkins idea considering you two haven’t done any proper tutoring over the last two weeks, but Kai’s more than happy to accept.

”I’m telling you that new VS pushup bra is all the craze right now!! I heard it made Carly’s B cup look like double D’s like what the fuck!?” Sullyoon’s browsing on her phone on her go-to shopping website again. Momo on the other hand has Jake Sim’s head resting between her thighs as she plays with his nest of hair, yikes..

“Stop being a bore I can’t believe I’m actually seeing you study for once.”

“Shut up Jake I need it if I want my card back ugh!!” All the words and key terminology for the up coming assessment is just mumble and letters, at this rate you’re never going to pass without Kai’s help!!!

“Just sleep with him, that’s what all girls do.” Jake replies nonchalantly but the statement rubs you the wrong way- even if you did consider it...is he calling all girls whores?!!

Before you can even do it Momo slaps him away from her,

“Ugh Jake you’re so vile get away!” Sullyoon shrieks and giggles, playfully kicking at the baseball captain which ends up landing at his nuts.

“All of you shut up for a moment I need to focus!” You complain before putting all of your weight on to the arm behind you on the field of grass, you’ve only just finished consolidating chemical reactions but you doubt you’ll remember or properly understand it like this.

“What? Is she going to see that small-dick geek again?” Fuckass Jake didn’t get his balls kicked hard enough because he still has the energy to retort.

“I’m not joking he’s like twice the size of yours.” You snicker before pinching your fingers together to mock an irritated Jake already feeling your work ethic coming to a halt.

“Well maybe if you’d actually let me bang you then you’d know. Because by the looks of it you let every other guy in between those legs.” Jake spits.

Way to ruin your mood Sim Jaeyun.

You pack up your laptop and belongings and spin on your heel to strut all the way down towards the canteen where you know you’d find Taehyun, and therefore him too.

Right in the corner behind the pillar where they can’t be seen spot the same head of blonde hair and an agitating brunette who’s immediately sending warning signals to Kai the moment you head towards their way.

“Hi Tyunnie! Miss me?” You blow Taehyun a kiss before rustling his oddly styled hair gently- eco gel..and jesus christ a whole lot of it.

“Freak off, we don’t want you here.” Taehyun speaks as monotonously as ever, refusing to show any sort of amusement as he swats your hand away from cooing him any further.

That’s when you realise you haven’t greeted Kai yet, turning your head around to see..eyes?

The blonde is rocking a completely different hair cut now, bangs messily trimmed to give him style but also a cleaner look and with more volume than he ever has- it suits him really well you must admit, like the hotties you’d see in the skate parks, except his innocently charming eyes really are the cherry on top.

“Wow Kai new haircut?! Awhh stop you look so adorable!!! You finally got rid of those overgrown bangs.” He attempts to hold back a bashful grin in front of a discerned Taehyun, waving it off as something he’s wanted to try forever when really he knows it’s because of you.

“Well Tyunnie-boo let me borrow Kai for the rest of today okay? Thanks a million!!”

You drag Kai and his belongings with you and straight in to the parking lot where your porsche you haven’t used in ages was parked.

“No lectures later right? I know it’s a bit earlier than scheduled but I might as well take you home with me now right?”

The still timid male looks away from you when he speaks in case his mind wanders off to a bunch of other naughty thoughts again.

“That’s fine..just means we get more tutoring time in.”

Yeah, tutoring time.

Accelerating down the road and in to the hills of where the richest sector of people in your city resided in was a complete shock for Kai, watching people live in these castles they’d call ‘home’ as you speed down in to your own pearly-gated manor.

Kai regrets wearing something so baggy now at a place like this, but there’s not much in his closet if he’s still keen on covering that tattoo he stupidly got with his cousin Yeonjun on his 18th birthday.

“My father may look intimidating but trust me it’s just a habit he’s picked up on from trying to be professional everywhere he goes.” Even the keys to your house is made of some sort of alloy of gold, inside revealing a couple of servants who welcome the two of you towards your father’s office.

Knocking gently you pry, “Father, I’ve got my little tutor friend you wanted to see so bad.”

There’s no response that you can hear from the room nor any sign to come in. A working servant comes over to inform you that he’s at a business meeting that won’t end until late. Great, so he’s not even here.

“I-It’s okay, let’s just get started first!” Kai suggests, which you’re not going to object to because you were planning on it anyways, leading him to your bedroom upstairs down hallways of art and antiques.

This is it, the bedroom you’re always sending photos to him, well, kkh.txt in. The same mirror where it all started lays in the same spot as before as he follows your foot steps towards your couch and social table.

“Real talk Kai, I’m actually going to listen this time because it’s my last shot over the next few weeks to get this down in time if I wanna pass and get my credit card back okay?”

“Should I recap what you’ve done in your own time to see if it’s consolidated yet?” And fuck his voice sounds so hot when he’s concentrated..right, focus!!

By the time both of you are confident you’ve covered most of the heavy content you’re exhausted and so is Kai. Hours of back and forth questions for concepts you couldn’t understand finally stuck in your brain a bit better to the point you could answer most of the simple and intermediate questions. Looking at the time it’s already 7 meaning that you’ve been tutored for 5 hours straight with Kai non-stop, and you feel proud of the hard work too! And a bit smarter, still not his level though.

“I’m going to take a quick bathroom break, when I’m back we’ll move on to more complicated topics and we’ll wrap it up for today!” A tired Kai limps towards your bathroom but in a more comfortable mood than earlier- even his stuttering has calmed down!

And if you were being true to yourself, Kai is exactly your type, the standard really. He’s gentle with you even when you’re frustrated, always offering to make time for you and help, and plus he’s got that begging look and monster cock combination which messes with your head so good!!

Good enough to compel you to swipe on to WinkChat to message your favourite user kkh.txt, thinking of what to type.

‘Sorry, don’t wanna use this app anymore?’

‘Think it’s best we stop this?’

None of it flows off your tongue smoothly but you settle with a short and simple ‘sorry.’ message to him, preparing to delete the app when you hear a ping!- coming from Kai’s phone.

And of course you’re curious! Who else could be messaging the nerd except Taehyun?-

Your eyes bat hardly at the notification,

‘y/n.553 sent a message! Click to chat with her now! ❤️🔥’

Your heart sinks down to your stomach, Kai..the nerd you gave a blow job to in the middle of the library is kkh.txt ?!!!

“Hope I didn’t take too long-“

Seems like it’s a universal thing for everyone’s heart to drop now because Kai’s throat runs dry as he watches the bewildered expression on your face with his phone in your hand. It couldn’t be-

“Kai. You’re…kkh.txt?!!!” No point in lying now is there?

“Uhm wait.. I-I can explain I didn’t mean to hide it from-“

“The tattoo. Show me it.” You walk towards the stiffened Kai who can’t move an inch from where he’s at by the door right now without the interception of you pushing him on to mattress of your bed.

“Go on, that dragon tattoo you have, take off the hoodie and let me see.” He’s never heard your voice drip with so much authority; hell he can’t even understand if you’re angry at him or not for hiding it from you!! The hoodie is discarded of somewhere in the corner of your room, and there it is- the damn dragon tattoo you’ve been craving for ever since you saw it.

Now that you can see his full frame you can understand that everything about Kai is big; he’s towering in height, his shoulders are so broad it’s impossible to not notice now that you’ve seen it even with his hoodie on, the defined muscles that runs down his abdomen and the absolute beast he doesn’t know how to use, but you’re craving it real bad.

“What are you waiting for? Fuck me like you mean it.” Nimble hands hurry to unclasp your bra and remove your tank top, revealing your chest in front of a nervous Kai who now can’t find the strength in him to answer you without moaning.

“W-what?”

“That video you sent. Fuck me like you mean it.”

Memories rack through Kai’s head which makes him mentally face palm at the recollection of his bold statement when he in fact does not know how to fuck nor make you feel good apart from a couple of porn videos he’s seen. He swallows the lump in his throat before looking up to you again with pleading eyes,

“Can I try eat you out?”

Remember when you said a nerd like Kai could probably eat pussy like a champ two weeks ago? Bullseye because the man is fixated between your thighs, lapping at everything you have to offer.

Swear he had no experience at all with cunnilingus yet he’s having no problems in sucking and flicking at your swollen clit with the flat of his tongue, moaning in to your folds repeatedly, every now and then having to put in some sort of comment about how good you taste with tears in his eyes; such a pussy drunk loser it’s adorable.

At some points you’re afraid he’s going to die of suffocation from how hard he’s pressing down on your thighs to keep you in place as you sit directly on top of his face, the weight of you completely over his saliva covered mouth but even when you meekly ask if he can breathe just fine all he does is press his tongue in to your further; swirling his tongue around your entrance and even finding the confidence to enter it.

“Mmh!! Kai fuck!! You can-hah-touch me up here too.”

A wandering hand reaches to clasp on to Kai’s to direct him to your chest, begging him to stimulate your perked and neglected nipples.

“Fuck fuck fuck! Such a good boy, making me cum so good!”

Juices are spilling from your cunt all over a dazed Kai’s face, still shocked from the effect of tasting you on his tongue for the first time, and if he wasn’t eating you out like a starved man this time you shouldn’t even start to imagine how insanely he’d try to eat you out after he’s become addicted to your taste.

A symphony of your heavy breathing and the pulsing of your folds as you catch your breath from being given the best head you’ve ever received from a complete amateur is laughable, looking up to Kai with exhausted but fluttering eyes.

“I haven’t made you cum yet Kai, hah, come on, rest against the pillows over there.”

Stunned and beyond words all he can do is follow your every command like a lost puppy, his hard-on longing for your touch as it twitches hungrily in his briefs.

“N-no condom?”

“Sit back and relax for me okay pretty? No more questions, I’ll do all the work.” Even if you’ve been eaten out by Kai you doubt you can adjust to the stretch of his cock in one go, slightly hesitating and knowing you were going to fuck yourself dumb the moment you started struggling to even fit in just the tip!!

“You’re so big Kai, scared it might rip me.” Pain starts to overwhelm you as you sink down inch by inch on to his cock, whimpers falling out of your mouth in a mantra as you hold on to his shoulders for stability. Kai’s completely silent with his mouth wide open; brows knitted together as he watches the way his cock disappears between your glistening folds, you’re going to fucking destroy him and he knows it, god.

Finally taking in the last couple of inches you rest for a bit, sighing as the initial pain converts in to pleasure from how full you felt, his tip poking right in to your cervix.

“Look Kai, this is how full you make me feel.” His hand reaches to brush against the imprint of the curve of his dick in your stomach, inflicting you to moan when he presses his finger against it,

“Ngh, don’t do that baby, I might cum too quick if you do.” The pet name only makes him twitch inside of you which erupts another moan from the sudden jerk, finally finding the energy in you to lift yourself off of him only to slam yourself right back down.

The sensation of your walls clenching around his as you lifted your hips felt like bliss- better than anything he’s seen in those x-rated movies, watching as you bounced on top of him in swift motions, the base of his cock disappearing and reappearing with every cycle of thrusts as you rode him.

A string of slick connected between your cunt and his pelvis made him moan at how lewd it was, eyes rolling back as he aids your movement with his hands- biceps flexing from hard he’s gripping on to your waist.

“Am I agh!- Better than your fleshlight hm?”

Ten times, no. A thousand times better than whatever he has rotting in his drawers right now, the warmth of your pussy sucking him in is probably the hottest thing he’s ever seen accompanied by the way your tongue starts to loll out automatically whenever his tip slams way too hard past your cervix, completely filled to the brim yet your greedy cunt still yearns for more.

Kai’s expressions are just as you’d imagine, strands of hair messily stuck to his forehead from sweat, his mouth cutely open and unable to form any other sound except mewls and whimpers and the same usual fat tears that roll down to his reddened cheeks whenever the pleasure feels too good! <3 His eyes struggle to keep open as he furrows his brows whenever he feels the heat of your walls clench around him, you really don’t know how badly he wants to just stay buried inside of you forever! ><

Your tits bounce in sync with your pace right above his eyes, watching as they’d swing back up before you slammed down on his aching cock. Kai bites his lip as he slides a hand down to your waist, so lost in the illusion of your pussy he can’t even verbalise how good he feels, instead only being able to claw at the swell of your ass as you continue to fuck yourself dumb on his cock.

Usually you’d never think of yourself as someone who loses dominance with any of your sex partners but the way Kai’s dick turns your brain in to mush needs to be studied because you’re drooling as you continue to ride him sloppier than before.

“Kaii! Shit I feel so full I’m gonna come!”

The continuous slamming of his cockhead against the bundle of nerves the curve of his cock keeps pressing against sends shockwaves through your core, unable to keep your posture up right as you limp on to Kai’s shoulder, biting on the penetrable skin to keep your moans in while you let him buck his hips in to you at a new angle where you can feel everything deeper, more stimulating and more raw.

“Ohh fuck, w-where do I cum? shit-“ Kai continues to ram in to the same sensitive bundle of nerves relentlessly to chase his own orgasm, frantically desperate to get that burning sensation of needing to release again.

“I- I’m on the pill Kai just cum inside please!! Wanna feel full!” Within seconds Kai’s unleashing his seed right in to your cunt, still thrusting to keep it from leaking out despite overstimulating himself in the process- you follow not too long after, unwinding and gushing over him, hot breath fanning on to his neck as you attempted to regain your energy after coming down your high.

“Did I make you feel good?” Kai asks with lustful eyes. His skin is completely flushed pink and sweating, struggling to focus his eyes on anything after the initial haze of such a strong orgasm.

Oh there’s no doubt about that.

Professor Jenkins should be pleased to see that you’re going to ace your summer qualifying exam, because you’ll be visiting this nerd all summer <3

A/N: I had to concise it down A LOT more because I genuinely think would’ve dragged on forever if I let it, but hopefully everything lives up to the hype surrounding it esp with the teaser!!

taglist: @whoisgami , @bingsoob , @1eatlasagna , @pengningie , @angelgraphica , @sanscupid , @cutehoons02 , @cheekycountesschoi , @soupersaldz , @bamtor1sss , @strawberryshoujosundae , @gyutaepie , @bambiihee

#txt #txt fanfic #kpop #txt smut #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #hueningkai smut #Hueningkai x reader #tyunningism writes!!#beomgyu #soobin #yeonjun #taehyun #hueningkai

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serenity-loves-red · 8 hours ago

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IT STARTED WITH THE CAT DISTRIBUTION SYSTEM

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. Part 6. (Current)

Cat distribution system featuring Phainon.

In which• The Deliverer of Amphoreus is suddenly transported to your home as a cat.

You returned home late that day. There was an unexpected group work that needs to be submitted by tomorrow morning. So instead of going home by 3pm, you’ve returned home around 8.

Fortunately, you’ve left Blue and Princess enough food and water that’ll last them the whole day.

When you opened the door, you got yourself quite a scare when you almost stepped on an orange fur rag you remembered not having. What you do remember having instead however, is an orange pomeranian.

“Oh my god! Princess!” You exclaimed. “Did I hurt you? Oh gosh, I’m so sorry.” You hurriedly picked him up, inspecting him closely.

When you saw no signs of injury, you quickly gave him few head pats and cooed at him, totally forgetting about your bag you randomly thrown near the door due to sheer panic.

Princess and Blue are much important than that bag to be honest. You’ll just picked it up later or something. First things first is to check on your 2 babies.

Holding Princess securely on your arms, you proceed to walk inside to find your other fluffy roomie.

“Blue?” You called out. “I’m home Blue! Where are you?”

When you felt Princess started to squirm in your arms, you gently lowered him down. He let out few high pitched bark and stuttered few steps forward, as if urging you to follow him.

“You know where he is, Princess?” You asked, curiously. Princess barked in reply.

“You can understand me too, hm?” You laughed. “Well aren’t you smart? Then please do lead the way Your Highness.”

You followed Princess and found Blue pacing back and forth like some kind of stressed mother near your couch.

Upon seeing you trailing behind Princess, he gracefully strutted and rubbed your legs. You heard his sharp meows and hiss but never did he tried to bite your foot.

He must’ve been worried this entire time, you thought correct. If only you can understand his meows, it was full blown combination of both concern and nagging.

Mydei, however could understand. It was chaotic and amusing for him to hear the Mr. Blue Balls the Deliverer get worked up like this.

“Snuggle Gremlin! It’s late, do you know what time is it? *nag nag nag*”

Hmm. That name isn’t that bad. You know what, Mydei shall call you that from now on. He must get back at you for his name somehow.

“Yes, yes.” You soothes Blue who sounded really worked up. “Let’s save that for later ok? I’ll make it up with you after I eat dinner. Promise.”

You picked up Blue who started to melt with your pats. His ears must’ve been really that sensitive, you mused.

Although this situation was supposedly impossible and alarming, Mydei couldn’t lie that somehow this doesn’t feel bad. Oddly enough, just like the deliverer, he felt oddly calm and genuinely happy even thought he just had been here a little to no more than a day.

You saw Princess sat next to your feet. If you remembered correctly, you haven’t given him a bath yet, no? Since he’s going to stay here with you, a proper bath is a must before he is allowed to sleep at the bed with you.

“As for you my little Princess,” you said. “We’ll take a bath together later.”

…What? Did you just-

Mydei quickly snapped his tiny little head towards Phainon, hoping that he must’ve just misheard it somehow. Must have been the wind™️

“Good luck Mydei.” He saw his mouth moved. “May Nikador bless you in this battle.”

“…”

You know what– he takes back everything he just said!

You can’t just do this to him! He may have turned into a dog but he wants to keep his chastity and innocence so don’t you dare put your hands on him!!

Extra

#hsr x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr mydei #hsr #mydei #mydei x reader #hsr phainon #phainon x reader #honkai star rail mydei

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academicfrogz · 1 day ago

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Volt and Eddie Headcanons bc they are consuming my life

SPOILERS for eddie and volt's routes and realization

Volt:

- Somewhere over 6ft

- largely hairless due to his hair being electricity

- atrophic scars around his joints, almost doll like, and hypertrophic scars in a starburst pattern from his sternum

- a creature (fangs, blue 'blood' once realized, sometimes will do something that he really shouldn't be able to and then it works (looking at a dead lightbulb really hard and it working again for example))

- can tie up his hair if he really wants too with anything insulated but perfers it down

- through the story he get more and more pale with a blue undertone and eyebags but keeps routine best he can despite feeling drained so he looks better than eddie pre-reset (barely)

- lean, he has abs and strength just cant utalize it for prolonged periods causing him to be on the weaker side beyond some core strength

- he struggles less with chronic pain than Eddie (partially cause he takes slightly better care of himself) but more chronic illness, he has very limited practical motor skills and gets exhausted after practically no physical activity. He also has dizzy spells and faints during power outages/shorts.

- post-realization he'd probably be diagnosed with something like POTS but i'm calling it an undiagnosable condition that anyone can project onto

- if you make him hate you he'll cut you off, hes very overprotective especially when it comes to the people he cares about, but moreso he hates the way people treat him and Eddie as though one is more palatable than the other because they both play such a large role (while also struggling with codependency)

- he fiddles with stuff while he does anything, his own hands, his jacket, his jewelry, his 'hair', hes very hard to make him still unless he is terrified (freeze fear response)

- a flirt (annoying Eddie often)

- can dance (if he's careful), cannot sing which is partially why certain people are still allowed to perform

Eddie:

- round 5'10

- Something of a hairy guy, wire hair translating to thin hairlike rubber fibers on his arms/legs/stomach/face

- MASSIVE joint pain, like constant and chronic, chronic fatigue (just like me fr) and he also has chronic migraines plus a bad back.

- While he doesn't have fainting spells like Volt he is shit at realizing he needs to eat/sleep and has fainted from lack of care before.

- Hes got good fine motor skills but his hands shake after too long without sleep (which he puts off because it never makes him feel less tired).

- not very scared up but he has a smaller matching starburst scar on his back mirroring Volts

- hes well built, especially his upper body, but most of his muscle is practical so he doesn't have visible abs

- hes got super dark veins and constant eyebags, over the course of the story he gets paler and looses some significant muscle/weight making him look sick, he also is constantly tense pre-reset, looking at nothing and zoning out with pinched eyebrows and even worse eybags

- he has a slight drinking problem, in part because of his chronic pain, but he's largely functional and Volt is good at cutting him off just by looking at him all concerned

- hates being treated like glass but very understanding when it comes to Volt because of his own fears over loosing him (will grumble anyway though)

- his bones are metal and if he uses an electrical current he can make himself magnetic (because i think its funny)

- gifted Volt his bracelets and has matching necklaces on purpose (stubbornly refusing to admit such)

- post realization he would probably be diagnosed with arthritis and chronic migraines but knowing the system he probably would never get a diagnosis for his fatigue

- Would probably smoke pre-Volt creation but stops because Volt hates the smell

- can sing, cannot dance

- also a creature (sharp molars, post realization blue blood, can pretty much touch pure electricity and be fine)

- Eddie quits drinking post realization so he doesn't fuck up his pain meds

Boaf:

- both love kissing but Eddie doesn't like pda so they instead do a lot of generally being in each other's space

- neither are very jealous people and are pretty secure, will say they don't like people the other is hanging around if they have reason to though

- switches (pun intended)

- definitely reopen the breaker box in the human world

- probably wouldn't get married on paper unless other realized objects recommend it however practically everyone who is privy to their relationship knows they basically are already married

- they foster kittens and have a foster fail ginger cat named copper

- both are wildly stubborn Volt is just way better at pretending he's not

thats all for now methinks

#eddie and volt #volt x eddie #eddie x volt #volt and eddie #eddie date everything #volt date everything #date everything

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twopoppies · 20 hours ago

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Hi Gina I was wondering if you could help me understand the reason for Harry’s kiss last night. I’m so new to this fandom and it’s my first time experiencing stunting so now that Louis and Harry are both stunting I’m lost. If there isn’t any contracts or anything forcing them to do this then why on earth would either of them choose to stunt? Especially Harry because people know he’s queer already (well many assume) and he doesn’t have a reason to stunt. Also he doesn’t need popularity because he’s famous already? I don’t understand it and it’s really throwing me off. I don’t understand the reason for him kissing this girl in public.

Hi, darling. I think what you have to realize is, first of all, so much of the world is grossly homophobic. And so much of Harry’s image is built on him being a sexual fantasy. So, no matter how many people think he’s queer, there are still more (or at least a lot) who think he isn’t, and he/his team/his label aren’t ready to lose any of them.

So, they’re going to keep his sexuality ambiguous for those who don’t want to look beyond the surface.

Second, yes, he’s already very famous. But fame and success isn’t a once and done kind of thing. Celebrities always have to have something going on in order to keep them in the public eye. But especially if they’re about to have a new project. I’d guess HS4 is coming sooner, rather than later. Having him show up at one of the biggest festivals in the world, and then articles about him making out with some woman, is a very easy way to get people talking about him.

So, he’s going to have a reason to “stunt” for as long as he wants to continue being in the public eye and for as long as he’s not making a definitive statement about his sexuality or showing the world who his real partner is. As annoying as that sounds, I think that’s how it is.

I think, too, that you have to look at it differently than “they have a contract that forces them to do these things.” Yes, I do think they’re more in control. But they’re also operating within a system that, to an extent, dictates their behavior. They might not want to do PR relationships, but they also know they’re fairly easy and effective ways of keeping themselves in the press (which is necessary for them in their industry), and keeping their closets in tact, at least as far as the world outside of a certain part of fandom is concerned.

IMO, the only way to be okay with what they do, is to let go of needing a certain outcome. Don’t get yourself get hung up on them coming out, then claiming each other, them being a certain sexuality, etc etc. Enjoy their music, enjoy the parts of themselves they show us, enjoy your friends here… and roll with the idiotic parts of the music industry. They clearly both still want to be successful within it. And that means having to play some stupid games.

I hope this is a bit helpful. ❤️

#surviving stunts #Harry’s sexuality #glastonbury 2025 #current thoughts on larry #pr relationships #Harry’s image #louis’ image #stunts

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zazaiafe2 · 1 day ago

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The most complete shifting protocol you'll ever try (or THE shifting method?)

It’s been a while since I’ve been working on this protocol. I’ve done my best to optimize every step to help as many people as possible based on the survey i shared, the problem y'all gave me and my knowledge. I won’t claim it’s foolproof, but I truly believe it can make a big difference for a lot of you. If you decide to try it, there’s a survey at the end of the blog so you can share your experience and help refine it even more. Let’s go shift!

1) During the day / during the week

Feel free to read your script, listen to a sound that reminds you of your DR, affirm, or meditate, depending on what suits you best.

This helps prime your subconscious and creates familiarity with your DR across days, without pressure.

Adapt it to your style: for some people, music works; for others, reading or daydreaming is enough, you really don't need to do too much.

Tip: consistency is more important than perfection. Do whatever will please and help you.

For example, you can create mood boards or playlists, this is an example, you can do whatever you want.

2) Just before sleep

Do a short meditation of at least 5 minutes. It can be guided or silent, but its goal is to calm your mind and detach from your current day.

This helps move from beta waves to alpha or theta, creating an optimal bridge for shifting.

Tip: even 5 minutes can deeply shift your state if you do it with true presence.If you really like meditation you can even do more.

youtube

A short 10 minute meditation like this can really help.

3) Setting your intention

As you get ready to sleep, remind yourself:

->“Tonight, I shift. I am safe. I am ready to transform.”

Or any affirmations adapted to you and pace.

Place this intention in your mind without obsessing, just like setting a GPS route.

Tip: repeat it once or twice if you wish, but then let it go with confidence.

4)WBTB (Wake Back To Bed)

Plan to wake up in the night after a sleep cycle (e.g. 4–6 hours depending on your sleep rhythm).

No random phone use, and absolutely no social media unless it’s only to launch your theta/alpha sound and remove the alarm .

⚠️Blue light filter ON if you check anything.

Move minimally (water, bathroom, a short stretch) and keep the lights dim.

Stay awake at least 3 min, maximum 50 min, then go back to bed.

The phone can interfere with entering theta/alpha waves. I really recommend putting on the blue light filter about 1 hour before going to sleep.

5) During WBTB

While you’re awake, you can:

-get up and drink some water

-reread your script

-daydream about your DR

-do a tiny relaxation

Avoid overstimulating yourself.

Tip: this phase is for priming, not restarting the whole shift preparation from scratch.

6) Breathing techniques

When returning to bed, start with:

box breathing (inhale 4s, hold 4s, exhale 4s, hold 4s)

Coherence breathing (5s in, 5s out, smooth rhythm)

Or 4-7-8 breathing (4s in, hold 7s,exhale 8s)

->Just choose what suit you the best.

Let these rhythms calm your system and focus your mind away from your physical body.

->breathing = grounding + focus.

Explanations of the three types of breathing .

7) Brainwaves support

Play theta or alpha binaural beats, or isochronic tones, if you like them.

No need to overthink the “perfect” track. Choose something relaxing, consistent, with no big volume spikes.

-> your own sense of calm is more important than the frequency’s perfection.

youtube

You can play this kind of waves.

youtube

8) Physical position

Choose a position where you won’t fall asleep too easily (like semi-sitting, or slightly propped up on pillows).

Keep your body still as much as you can, to favor the floaty feeling.

If you notice the urge to self-check, gently redirect to observing your inner calm and the quiet confidence that you will shift.

->trust the process instead of micromanaging it.

You are powerful and capable of shifting into your DR.

9) Mental focus

Try to distract your mind lightly:

-simple counting

-easy imagery (like clouds or stars or an object of your DR)

-recalling parts of your DR script

-small mantra

-feel the emotions you have in your DR

The goal is to stay in a passive but present state ,not to force your thoughts.

If you sense a “floaty” or dreamlike moment, flow with it.

10) Letting go

Once you’ve affirmed or visualized, release.

Trust your DR will come to you naturally, without forcing or chasing.

Picture it like opening a door and calmly waiting for it to cross the threshold.

Softness + confidence are more powerful than pushing, try to be calm.

Many people feel closest to shifting with a calm focus.

11) Handling intrusive thoughts

If intrusive or negative thoughts pop up, see them as passing clouds.

Don’t try to fight or suppress them, it only gives them power.

Instead, note: “OK, this thought is here, but it does not define me, it's not me”

Your focus is the sail, your thoughts are just the wind. You can still steer.

You can imagine that they are like clouds passing across the sky.

12) Ego detachment

At the key moment, remind yourself:

“I am more than this current identity. It is safe for me to let go of this identity and experience a new one”

Disidentify from your “CR ego” so your awareness can move more freely.(I invite you to see my blog on this subject)

This step is subtle but extremely powerful to release subconscious anchors.

Think of yourself as a free observer of realities, and embodie this soft feeling of safety.

13) Micro awakenings

If you don’t shift straight away, set the intention to notice micro-awakenings in the night.

Example: “If I wake up slightly, I will stay still and try again.”

These micro-awakenings are amazing opportunities to relaunch a shift attempt, especially in a hypnagogic state.

-> note your emotions and mental state after each try to adjust next time.

14) Lucid dreams as a gateway

Sometimes, these techniques will instead trigger a lucid dream even if you never done one before .

If that happens, you can:

-shift directly from the lucid dream

-or explore the lucid dream calmly and try shifting next time

->treat lucid dreams as allies, not as failures.

15) Tracking and reflecting

Whether you succeed or not, write down your:

-dreams(this technique can also greatly improve dream recall)

-emotions

-thoughts before sleep

This builds self-awareness and helps you adjust future attempts.

-> even small details (mood, environment, worries) can give clues about your subconscious state.

16) Holotropic breathwork (optional)

Once a week, you may practice holotropic breathwork to:

-release deeper emotional blocks

-loosen subconscious tension

-encourage identity detachment

This is not mandatory, but can help if you feel stuck.

youtube

This video can be useful for practice if you want to be accompanied while doing the breathwork.

Reminder: avoid if you have heart or trauma sensitivities without professional advice, and go see my blog on this subject I explain absolutely everything about this breathing.

17) Trust over repetition

Remember: more attempts ≠ more success.

Quality of intention + quality of your state > number of tries.

Stay gentle, stay steady. One peaceful attempt is worth more than 50 frantic ones.

no timeline, no rush.

We see that the number of shift attempts doesn't mean anything about whether we'll succeed or not. This is based on my survey of people who have never shifted.

18) Final choices, 4 scenarios

From the point after wbtb, there are 4 possibilities:

1️⃣ You shift → congratulations, welcome to your DR!

2️⃣ You can’t shift → place the intention for your next micro-awakening, note down insights, try again calmly.

3️⃣ You fall asleep and wake up in the morning → note dreams, thoughts, feelings for next time.

4️⃣ You enter a lucid dream → explore it or use it to shift on the spot.

Conclusion:

Shifting is not a race. It is an art of alignment, trust, and gentle identity release. This protocol gives you structure and freedom, combining proven techniques with space for personal adjustment.

You deserve to shift with peace, not with violence toward yourself.

-> Consistency + presence + compassion = the best conditions for success.

The link of the survey :

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angel-writes-skz-here · 11 hours ago

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The Parent Trap: Aussie Edition

Bang Chan x F! Reader Synopsis: Seeing your ex husband in the wild causes a lot of emotions and life changing events; especially when your daughter gets invovled. Warnings: Angst, fluff. A/N: @jessadams I am so very sorry this took so long, I hope you enjoy it though! Forgive any mistakes, i did proof read but I might have missed something. Thank you for sending in the request and for your patience! Comment to be added to my taglist! Xoxo💋

It wasn’t on purpose; to be honest, you and Bang Chan had a system that kept you as far apart as possible. The guys would handle pick up and drop off, this way you never had to really see each other or talk. Both of you could live your lives pretty easily without the other.

So, when Jennie brought up the idea of going to the carnival you were thrilled. Until you seen him there, standing at the concession stand grabbing food. Jennie practically runs off to her father, leaving you standing there, motionless, frozen in time, internally freaking out amidst the crowd.

Chan looks down seeing his daughter, head darting up, instantly finding yours. Your eyes meet, oh how those brown eyes drew you in every single time. He looks back down to his daughter and you can’t move; Chan can see the fear in your eyes; on your face. He offers you a smile before a woman comes up to him and kisses his cheek.

Your legs have a mind of their own as they carry you over to him to grab your daughter.

“Jennie, we need to go.”

“Good to see you, y/n,” Chan smiles awkwardly. You offer a tight-lipped smile and your eyes float over to the woman.

“Who’s this,”

“Ji-yun,” your daughter sneers. She’s arrogant, high maintenance and someone you can just tell is smooth and cunning.

“Nice to meet you.” You smile before turning to your daughter, “Jennie, let’s go,” you say as you start to drag her off, only to bump into Han and Changbin.

“Y/n!” Han yells as he embraces you tightly. You smile and hug him back.

“Hannie, Binnie!” Jennie yells as she hugs them.

“Hey, guys.”

“We didn’t know you’d be here!” Changin pipes up.

“Yeah, well Jennie begged to go to the fair so,” you shrug as you brush some hair out of her face.

“Can we go play some games?” She asks Changbin. He looks to you and you nod.

“Yeah, sure, I need to sit down for a minute anyway.” You smile politely, feeling two pairs of eyes burning holes into your back.

“I’ll join you,” Han smiles and walks with you to a bench out of sight from ‘Cruella’ and Chan.

“So, how are you? Ya know, seeing him here and all,” Han asks plainly.

“It’s a shock, I had no idea he’d be here, and with a woman but that’s good. He moved on from our divorce and it’s a good thing.

“She’s a bitch ya know,” Han says before licking his ice cream cone.

“What?” you snicker.

“She’s desperate for his money, his fame, wants to ride on his coat tails basically.” He explains. You nod in understanding, unsure of what to say.

“Binnie, you gotta help me! I need mom to get on that ferris wheel with dad!” she says.

“Jennie,” Changbin says as he pays the host of the bottle game. He’s given three balls and expertly knocks down all the stacked bottles.

“Changbin,” she whines. This captures his attention once he selects a pink bunny for the child to have.

“I’m serious. You know she talks to me like I’m stupid, and acts like I’m some kind of pest. They can’t get married.” She complains. Changbin has heard the stories, during the multiple drop offs to her mother’s house.

“Ok, I’m not saying you’re wrong, but how are we supposed to do this.”

“Come on, let’s find Han and mom,” she says and grabs his hand, pulling the muscle man through the crowd.

Jennie and Changbin come into view, both looking excited.

“Mom, I want to ride the Ferris wheel.”

“There’s no way I’m getting up there, Jennie, I hate heights.”

“Just stand with me in line. Please, mom!” She begs and clasps her hands together. You sigh.

“All right, but you need an adult to ride with you.”

“Han will go with me,” she smiles. The chipmunk cheeked boy looks at her, cheeks stuffed and eyes wide.

“What,” he says with a mouth full. You giggle as he looks between the three of you.

“Come on, Han it won’t be that bad.” Jennie says before she’s pulling the two of you up and out of your seats.

Changbin jogs off to find Chan.

Step one is complete.

You, Han and Jennie are waiting in line when Jennie acts as if she has to use the bathroom.

“Come on I seen a bathroom back here,”

“No, hold my spot, I’ll be right back.”

“You can’t go alone,” you start and Jennie grabs Han’s hand and pulls him away, almost causing him to fall. You look at the large contraption, realizing you’re next in line.

“Jennie I swear I’m not riding this stupid thing,” you mumble to yourself.

The sound of the wheel turning hits your ears, your stomach turning with it.

The last car comes around and the man motions you forward.

“Oh, no I’m not,”

“Keep the line moving!” Someone shouts behind you, causing you to whine internally. You take a shaky step forward and step into the cart, only to see Chan coming in behind you, his fiancé folding her arms with a sour look on her face.

Chan sits beside you, a small smile on his face as the bar is latched and the machine beings to move.

You grip onto his thigh, nails digging in as you close your eyes, feeling the wheel move you around.

“You’re safe,” he whispers taking your hand. You take a few shaky breaths.

“Y/n, open your eyes, it’s ok.” He says as the wheel stops. You slowly do, but your eyes quickly go wide.

“What the fuck, no no no no no no,” you say as your heart starts to beat erratically.

“Hey, woah calm down. I’m here with you.” He says kindly.

“Chan, you’re not helping.”

“Take a few deep breaths. You’re going to be ok.”

“Chan please just stop talking.” You say trying to sound nice. You hear him chuckle.

“What the hell is funny about this.”

“You don’t remember our first date, do you?” he says, more laughter following. The memories flood your mind all too vividly.

“Why the hell are you even here?”

“Binnie said Jennie wanted to ride the Ferris wheel, and I knew you didn’t like heights. Just like our first date, where we got stuck at the top of the ferris wheel… like we are now,” he motions and you open your eyes again, heart still beating erratically.

“I remember, I hated it then too.” You look over at Chan who’s looking at you, something soft and unreadable in his eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you mumble, face turning pink.

“Like what?” he asks, body leaning slightly toward you.

“Like,” you sigh, “Like there’s something here,”

“What do you mean?”

“Chan, we haven’t seen each other in a long time,”

“Yeah, I know,” he frowns.

“What’s that look for?”

“Huh, what look?” he tries to play it off.

“That look you just gave me.”

“I didn’t give you any kind of look.” He brushes off, obvious overcompensation in his voice.

“Whatever, why the heck aren’t we moving.” Chan pulls out his phone, rocking the cart slightly, causing you to cling to him, faces inches from each other. Your eyes meet in a moment fueled with tension.

He opens his phone, both of you reading the text.

“Ride’s stuck, they’ll get you down as soon as they can.” Your head falls against Chan’s shoulder.

“You have got to be kidding me,” you groan.

“I’m not gonna let anything happen to you,” he says quietly in your ear; a protective yet hesitant arm coming around you.

“Your fiancé would be pissed,” you sign in his ear, a small giggle leaving your mouth.

“I’m not doing anything inappropriate.” He whispers as you pick up your head, your eyes meeting.

You flit your eyes down to his lips, taking your bottom lip between your teeth for a moment. You notice his flit yours, and as if the world was cheering you on, you lean into one another, lips connecting in a soft kiss. The world disappears, the height, the carnival, all of it is gone, in this moment it’s just you and Bang Chan.

Your lips separate, a weighty feeling hanging over you.

“Come to my place for dinner on Saturday, Jennie can stay the night, I, I’ll make us dinner.” He whispers, voice desperate for you.

“Chan,” you mumble, unsure of your next words.

“Please,” he begs, “This whole not seeing each other thing is stupid, you’re the mother of my child, the love of,” he stops himself as the words tumble out too fast. Your breath hitches in your throat.

You open your mouth to speak, only for the ride to creak and begin moving. The two of you stare at each other the whole way down; taking a few seconds too long to get out of the cart.

“Channie!” Ji-yun’s voice calls out; breaking the two of you out of your trance. Before anything else can happen, Chan is being pulled from the cart, looking after you apologetically.

Once he disappears you see your daughter, a guilty looking Han and a Changbin standing there awkwardly.

“Jennie Bahng,” you begin as you walk toward her. She smiles nervously as the other boys say a quick goodbye and become scarce.

That Saturday Chris is in the kitchen making dinner when the door bell rings. He wipes his hand with the cloth and quickly makes his way to the door.

“Hey, you made it!” he smiles as Jennie hugs his waist. You smile, walking in past him.

“Smells delicious, what are you making.”

“You’re favorite,” he smiles sheepishly.

“You didn’t have to,” you begin and his hand comes up to stop you.

“I know, I wanted to.” You smile, the simple gesture warming your heart. Jennie runs off to her room, leaving you and Chan in the kitchen. You sit up on the counter, watching him cook, something about the scene taking you back to the year before your child was born. When life was simple, and all you needed was each other. Before the fame took over his life, before your business was off the ground and running. Before life became busy and a husband and a kid became too much to manage at once along with the jobs and busy schedules.

“So, how’s the wedding gown business treating you?”

“It’s wonderful, my designs are seen on bride’s worldwide if you can believe that.” You smirk proudly.

“Of course I can. I always knew you’d make it.” He smiles as he walks over to you, both arms on either side of the counter as he looks up at you.

“You always had a way with fashion and colors. The way you could see things put together before they were, it was beautiful.” He smiles fondly. You give him a tight-lipped smile.

“Thank you,” you say quietly, his eyes soft and breathtaking all at once. Chan hangs his head before pushing himself off the counter.

The three of you eat dinner, talking about your week and making small talk.

It’s not long after dinner that Chan sends Jennie to her room for bed.

“You um, you want a drink?” he asks as he points to the wine cellar downstairs.

“I should get going, really. It’s a bit of a drive.” You try to make the excuse.

“It’s late, you should just stay,” he says quietly pulling you into him, the living room feeling small despite its larger size.

“Chan,” you whisper with a small smile playing on your lips.

“It’s late, dangerous on the roads. You can go home in the morning.” He convinces you. With a sigh you follow him down to the cellar, and you smile fondly once again at the memories.

“You remember when we got this? I flew you out to Paris to see our show, and you had to have a bottle of wine to commemorate it.”

“You wanted it just as bad as I did,” you muse.

“Touche,” he smiles with a slight chuckle. The two of you stand in comfortable silence, the moment between you resting.

“I’ve missed you,” he mumbles. You inhale a stuttered breath as he sets the bottle down.

“This whole thing,” he says as he approaches you, the soft lighting making the scenery feel more romantic and intimate.

“It’s,” you interrupt him.

“What we agreed on after I left. Chan we divorced because life was too much. Trying to take care of each other, our daughter and our jobs, our livelihood, it was all just too taxing. Neither of us had made it, we didn’t have the time.” You say as you feel tears well up.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers as he cups your cheek, watching a tear escape your eyes.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry.” He says again and comes closer, both hands now on your face as he leans down, connecting your lips. Your hands flex, part of you knowing it’s wrong, it could never work, but part of you desire’s to give in, to let him have you. To let him make it up to you, but you know in your heart you can’t.

“Chan,” you say against his lips as he attempts to deepen the kiss.

“I should go.” You whisper.

“No, please, stay. I didn’t fight for you then, I let you walk away, I’m not doing that again.”

“Chan,” you say, a painful smile on your lips as your heart aches, the pain visible in your eyes.

“Y/n please,” he rasps. You take his left hand, pulling it up to his face, tapping the gold band.

“I need to go,” you whisper again. He looks at you like he’s lost, like he’s defeated.

“I’ll pick Jennie up in the morning.” You step aside and make your way to the steps.

“Wait, just take my room and drive home tomorrow. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, being in the same house with you,” you pause for a moment, “’s too tempting,” you say before making your way up the steps. And into your car.

You’re dropping Jennie off a few weekends later when Chan stops you.

“Ya know, I’m taking Jennie camping next weekend, you should come. You used to love our camping trips.”

“Oh um, I don’t know about that.”

“Mom, please,” Jennie begs.

“It’ll be just like old times,” she says and you look at Chan who’s got the same pleading eyes, but not as dramatic.

“I- yeah ok. I’ll go,” you smile as your daughter hugs your waist. She grins up at you like she’s won the lottery. You on the other hand, are a nervous wreck.

The ride to the camp out is silent, both you and Chan on edge, especially after Jennie insisted she get her own tent, and insisted she was old enough to sleep alone. Chan offered to let you stay in his tent, siding with his daughter saying independence was a good thing for her.

Arriving at the sight the three of you get out and hike to your camp sight right by the river.

“It’s so beautiful out here,” you say as you stare out at the water and Chan comes up behind you.

“Yeah, the view is great,” he says never taking his eyes off you. You glance at him, then down to his hand and you notice he isn’t wearing his band. You look at him inquisitively.

“When I said I wasn’t letting you walk away without a fight again, I meant it.” He whispers before turning back and walking over to your daughter.

That night the fire is going, the frogs are croaking and the three of you are cozied up roasting marshmallows. The silence is easy, calm, familiar. Years of your different camping trips come to mind as the night progresses, the way Jennie grew up through out each year, and how Chan decided to bring you back to the place you all were really last happy.

“I’m going to bed,” your daughter yawns.

“Goodnight,” she says and kisses both of your cheeks before turning in.

“Goodnight,” you both call back to her. You watch as she disappears into her tent.

“Another marshmallow?” he asks.

“Why here?” your voice is desperate, emotional, eyes staring at the flames.

“What?” Chan asks as he puts the marshmallow down.

“Why did you bring us here? I mean, Chan we could have gone anywhere. But here,” you sigh and rub your temple.

“We were always happiest here.” He says quietly, his own eyes staring into the firepit.

“Even if we weren’t at home, here things were ok. We just had to be together. No pressure from life or jobs. Just us.” He says as he reaches for your hand. You let him hold it, the tension between you palpable.

“What do you want from me? Another chance? How’s that gonna work with our schedules, Chan?” Your voice is irritated, not at him, but at life. It tore you apart the first time and it’s as if he doesn’t remember how painful it was; and worse you hate how bad you want it too.

“We can figure it out, you’re established now, so am I, we have more leeway with our schedules, we can make it work I know we can, we just have to try.” He assures you.

“Chan we can’t. We tried.”

“Things were different then. Just,” he sighs, “Tell me you don’t feel anything for me. Tell me not to kiss you and I won’t.” he swears. You open your mouth but no words come out.

“I’m going to bed.” You whisper before getting up and slowly walking to your shared tent.

You stop just short of the tent and look back at him.

“I never said no,” you unzip the tent. The realization hitting Bang Chan of what you said and he quickly puts out the fire, running after you into the tent.

He practically tackles you, causing you to giggle as he cups your face, looking between your eyes.

“This is ok?” he asks once more, forehead resting on yours.

“Yeah,” you whisper and his lips crash into yours. Soft moans escaping the both of you.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he says against your lips. Your hands tangle in his hair, the moment charged with absolute zeal and lust. The kiss turns heated, needy, desperate as tongues clash together, teeth knock into each other gently, and lips become kiss swollen. He starts to leave a trail of kisses on your jaw down to your neck, his hand going between your thighs automatically.

“Wait,” you say as your head starts to spin. Chan backs off immediately, worry etched into his face.

“What’d I do?” he asks quickly.

“Nothing, I just, I just wanna be close to you right now,” you say as you pull him down beside you. He smiles as his shoulders relax, letting the tension go.

“So about Ji-yun,” you begin as you lay beside one another.

“Who? Ji who? Never heard of her.” He smiles.

“You really broke up with her?”

Chan nods, “After seeing you, y/n, she wasn’t it. You were. You are. You’re what I want. You’re who I want to do life with. I know it’s not always going to be easy, but, I just can’t let you go.”

You smile at his words before kissing his lips again deeply.

“Then don’t.” you say as you pull away and snuggle up into him.

The three of you return home after the camping trip, the air of your changed relationship hard to miss. Especially with your daughter. She notices the stolen glances, the way your hands find each other on the console of the car. The way when Chan needs to shift gears your hands don’t separate. How the air in the car is no longer tense, but new; happy.

Jennie can’t help but smile, and text her uncle Han and Changbin that the plan is working.

Six months later, you and Chan are out for a date night. You’d been staying the night at his place almost as much as you did at your own, if not more. The three of you were really starting to look like a family put back together, and tonight Chan knew it was time.

You’re sitting at the restaurant, both of you dressed to the nines, and as you finish your meal, Chan takes your hand gazing into your eyes lovingly.

“What’s going on?” you smile. Chan takes a deep breath and moves to the floor, positioning himself on one knee.

“Y/n, it’s always been you. From the day we met I knew I would marry you, I knew I’d never love anyone else the way I love you and I haven’t. I love you more than words can say, will you marry me?” he asks gently and the sting behind your eyes signals tears.

“Oh, Channie,” you smile, “Yes!” you smile and he slips the ring on your finger. Standing up you hug him tight before both of you find yourselves kissing each other amidst the applause of the restaurant.

“Mom, look what I drew!” Jennie says bouncing into the living room one evening.

“Oh Jennie, it’s gorgeous! Chan! Come here!” you call out from the couch. He runs in, sweaty from his workout.

“What’s wrong!” You chuckle at his frantic voice.

“Nothing, look at this, your daughter designed her own dress.” You smile as you show him.

“Wow,” he takes the sketch in his hands, “Jennie this is amazing. Simply beautiful!”

“Do you really like it?” she asks.

“I love it, in fact I’ll show it to my team first thing Monday.” You smile and your daughter beams at you.

That Monday you show your team and they get right to work, creating the one-of-a-kind dress, specifically in your size.

“It’s beautiful,” you smile as you look at the finished product two weeks later.

“She’s going to be so surprised.” You squeal.

Later that evening you have Chan drop your daughter off at the shop.

“What’s going on?”

“I want you to be the first to see the dress I’ve picked.”

“You already picked it?” Your daughter asks sounding a little disappointed.

“I have, and trust me, you helped.” You wink at her as you are swiftly taken behind a curtain. You change into the dress before walking out and your daughter’s mouth falls open.

“That’s my- that’s my design,” she says shocked.

“It is,” you giggle as she runs to you and inspects the dress.”

“Is it what you envisioned?”

“It’s perfect, everything I wanted,” she smiles and you chuckle at her excitement.

“Think your father will like it?”

“If he doesn’t, I’ll slap him because his eyes must be crossed.” She says confidently. You let out a real laugh as you smile down at her, pride for your daughter’s creation strong in your heart.

The day of the wedding finally comes, you change into the dress your daughter designed, complete with a veil and walk out onto the beach, your closest friends and family in attendance. Han wipes a few tears away as he watches you walk down the aisle, Felix gives you a thumbs up and Changbin smiles happily at you. I.N and Seungmin have content looks on their faces, ones of approval and acceptance, and Hyunjin blows you a sweet kiss mouthing to you that you look beautiful.

You smile as you walk up next to Chan dressed in his suit.

“We are gathered here today to witness the union, or should I say reunifying, of y/n l/n and Christopher Bahng in holy matrimony.”

“Do you, y/n take Christopher Bahng to be your lawful wedded husband?”

“I do,” you smile as you place the ring on his finger.

“Do you, Christopher Bahng take y/n l/n to be your lawful wedded wife?”

“I do,” he answers and puts the ring on your finger.

“Then by the power invested in me, I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” The priest announces and Chan dramatically dips you in front of everyone, planting a sweet devoted kiss on your lips.

Tags:@breakmeoff @thelovelybireader @crystal005 @velvetmoonlght

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ms-demeanor · 3 days ago

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Yes.

Do not buy a car you have not researched. You don't need to dig in to the complete maintenance history, but you should at the VERY least do a search for "Make/Model/Model year known issues" and if you find issues, make sure they're ones you're comfortable dealing with. I was comfortable dealing with the ABS issues on my 91 Jeep, but I would not be comfortable dealing with head gasket issues on a 2006 Subaru. I was comfortable dealing with electrical issues on my friend's 2012 Tacoma, I would not be comfortable dealing with electrical issues on a 2008 Hybrid Saturn Vue. If you are a first-time car buyer, you may not be comfortable working on ANY issues yourself, but you should know how much it costs to solve the kinds of problems that can come up with the car you're looking at. Electric cars can be a lot more expensive to fix than gas cars, for example. A car with known transmission and engine issues is going to be a lot more expensive to fix than a car with vacuum system issues. You can usually spot red flags with a quick internet search, but if you want to go more in-depth you should search "Make/Model Forum - Known Issue" and search for videos on resolving the issue on YouTube. Forums are one of my favorite things about car culture because you can learn SO MUCH both before and after buying a car.

If you are just starting your search and you don't know what to look for, as a first-time buyer the first thing you should care about is reliability. If you haven't been driving long or you don't drive much, you may not be able to recognize early signs of mechanical issues so it's a good idea to get a car that is known to be boring and reliable - in the US this would be the dullest ten-year-old Toyota Camry or Corolla you can imagine. You want to focus on extremely widely manufactured, popular cars that have a long history with that model line, something that has years and years of options to choose from. Don't buy a car from a defunct manufacturer (I love Saturns, I would not tell a first time buyer to get a Saturn because it is a PAIN IN THE ASS to get parts for one and they've been out of production for so long that it's hard to get reliable answers on what's normal from anyone other than people who own Saturns. It's way, way easier to find a mechanic who knows a Ford Focus inside and out than a mechanic who can help you with your Saturn Sky)

Look up "frequently stolen cars" and try to avoid those, also anything that turns up a ton in a search for "Stolen Catalytic Converter."

Consider your lifestyle, what the car will be used for, and where you live. My dad has been complaining to me that I need to get a bigger car than my Yaris (which was a tiny 2-door) because it was really hard to get more than 2 people in the car, especially if they had luggage. But I don't think I've ever needed to drive more than 2 passengers and my dad and sister are the only ones who get in my car with luggage, and that happens 2-3 times a year. What happens a lot more is that I need to park at a Trader Joe's in LA, so what's more important to my lifestyle is a car that can fit in a compact parking spot when surrounded by people with zero situational awareness. These two needs are not mutually exclusive, but both mean that it would be a bad idea for me to get a 1962 Ford F-250.

Consider maintenance and running costs. The model of car that I'm looking at has a Turbo option - I would not consider getting a turbo because that would mean buying high octane gas, which is not something I want to build into my car expenses budget. Check car forums for PDFs of maintenance manuals and look up what kinds of work needs to be done at what mileage with the vehicle you're considering. You're going to need regular oil changes, you're going to need fuel (or electricity costs, which will be less than fuel), you're going to have to think about the cost and lifespan of tires and when fan belts wear out and what the 50,000, 100,00, and 150,000 mile maintenance routines look like. If you're buying an older car, you SHOULD check and see if there's documentation of that kind of maintenance - there may not be, but if there is that's a good sign!

Consider insurance costs. If you're going to get a car loan - which I recognize that many people have to - in the US you would be required to carry full coverage insurance, which is fuck-off expensive. But even if you don't have a car loan, you may find that liability insurance is more expensive for SUVs than coupes, or more expensive for sports cars than trucks.

Take the car to a mechanic or have a mechanically competent friend come with you for the purchase to check out the vehicle before you sign anything (YMMV; your friend has to be VERY mechanically competent for you to trust a curbside inspection and a test drive). Find a mechanic who offers pre-purchase inspections first, then find a seller, then make sure that the seller knows that the inspection is going to have to be part of the deal. If someone is above-board, they should be fine with this. It will cost you something extra for the initial purchase and it may be an annoying filter for a lot of sellers, but if you don't know cars very well, this is non-negotiable.

Take a skeptical friend or family member with you to the point of purchase. You want a car. You are in need of a car. You have found something that seems like a good deal. Take someone who is less emotionally invested to be a cooler head because they feel less pressure to make the buy and more pressure to make sure their friend doesn't get fucked.

Know what kind of regional environmental damage you might be dealing with. I live in California. I will not buy a car from Minnesota. Cars from places where it snows have rust issues that are totally alien to me. If you're from a dry place and you're buying a car that has been in a humid place or a place with lots of cold wet weather, make sure to check for weather-specific wear and damage.

IF you are considering an auto loan, do NOT go to the dealership without a loan pre-approved. Look at cars that you are interested in and think will be trustworthy, look around in the local market to get an idea of pricing norms, take this information to the bank and ask THEM for a loan because your bank is going to give you a better rate than any dealership. Also a bank isn't invested in selling you a car. Some dealerships will approve anyone for anything; your bank (or, especially, your credit union), will not approve you for a loan that you're not going to be able to pay. A bank isn't going to give a college student a forty thousand dollar loan on an 84 month term at extortionate interest. Plenty of car dealerships WILL do that. And you don't want that. That's a terrible choice. Please, please, don't get screwed by the dealer finance department.

If you do have to get financing from the dealership, do not buy a car based on what you can afford each month, buy a car based on what you can afford as one lump sum. Your budget is not "your monthly budget for this bill" it is "this is as much as I am willing to pay for this car including taxes." Have an actual number in mind. Calculate the taxes first. Build in 5-10% for various kinds of dealership fuckery. The price of the car is going to be is sticker price, plus local taxes (look them up and do the math), plus interest, plus 10% - if your budget is $7000, you are probably looking for a car with a sticker price of no more than about $5000. If you are at a dealership and you say your budget is $7000 they are going to show you cars starting at $7000 and at an 8% dealership interest rate with no down payment because you're broke and 10% taxes you're going to end up paying $9500 for that car with interest. And if you say "oh, $7000 is too high, that's not in my budget" they're going to say "well we can adjust the loan term and bring down your monthly payment and at a five year instead of a three year loan your payment goes from $265 to $170, so you're saving $100 a month" but over the life of the loan you're paying like $800 more and your $7k car has become a $10k car because the dealership worked with you to "fit it in your monthly budget." So don't even fuck with that. Calculate your total budget ahead of time and tell them that the principle cost is your total budget. Here's a loan calculator that makes it easy.

Damage reporting and title requirements vary - I would not consider buying a car that had been in a serious accident as a first-time buyer but I wouldn't be put off by some minor cosmetic damage. If you are a first time buyer and you are looking at a salvage title or equivalent, I'd pass if you have ANY other options. If you're paying out of pocket, you may not have other options in which case you need to do what you can to find out what specific kind of damage totaled the car. DO NOT buy a car if the person selling it can't get you the title during the purchase. You don't own that car until you have the title in your hand.

Have fun and be yourself. But, like. Seriously. A car is a major purchase and you want to make sure that you get something that is reliable and will suit your needs, but if there's an option that has a stereo you like better, or has a paint color you find more fun, or a model year with styling you like better (as long as it doesn't have model year specific issues), try to get the car that you're going to like the most.

I think that's all for now. I know it's a lot. Good luck!

Possibly making an insane car buying decision tomorrow. Wish me luck.

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thebramblewood · 13 hours ago

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I love hair and clothing overlays in theory, but using them is a pain in the ass. They're scattered across every accessory category, and I inevitably have to scroll through all of them (sometimes more than once) to find what I'm looking for. On top of that, my game almost always yanks facepaint and gloves off my Sims after a couple days in live mode. Since I've never been able to determine the cause of that, I really wanted to get as many items out of those categories as possible. So, in an effort to make CAS work better for me, I've spent my weekend recategorizing things so that they can all hang out together in the same place.

I used toenails for hair overlays since it's such an underutilized category. I put dye and hairline overlays in body scars so that they're permanent instead of needing to add them to every outfit! I'm putting all clothing accessories and overlays in bracelets and rings because they feel like the things I would miss being able to add to an outfit the least (and there are also multiple slots so I can work around that). It's been a lot of work but the results are soooooooo satisfying to see! I also used the option in S4S to change the CAS sort number of folders by file name. That way, they're all together at the end of the category and also organized nicely by creator (mostly - I've noticed this isn't always perfect, but it's better than pure chaos).

Anyway, I'm picking up the last few stragglers right now and hoping to move on to the next thing soon. I'd started sorting my hair by style (e.g. length, updo, etc.) but never got through it all, so I'll probably tackle that next and then do a similar thing with clothes. I've always wanted to have a fully organized CAS, so hopefully I'll stick it out this time. And then remember to integrate new files into the system before they pile up too much! Maybe I'll manage to delete some things in the process too, lol. 😅

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forsaken-headcanons · 1 day ago

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I actually have this whole system on how GUIs work in Roblox, along with a whole mythology because I'm so normal about this stupid murder game.

There are people known as the Greater Admins. People like Telemon, who was kinda the first? I haven't figured out other Greater Admins yet. And eventually Builderman, who's the first addition to their pantheon in about 3000 years ish, added in 2008 when he managed to befriend Telemon and give him a mortal life as Shedletsky. Yes people say "Greater Admins" instead of God, and yes Shedletsky and Builderman give the bombastic side eye when the survivors and killers do that. (Builderman, even before he was a Greater Admin, still gave that bombastic side eye to passerbys who said their names in vain)

But I do know that eventually, one Greater Admin had enough of being an outcast to the Pantheon. So, he asked a mortal to make him something out of his own blood, code, and flesh, a weapon of world editing. And so, the first GUI was created. And holy crap the chaos it caused in the Pantheon.

First little things while this Greater Admin was testing things out. A building moved a few studs, maybe a few livestock swapped out for others livestock. Mostly confusion, but the Pantheon still had no clue who or what caused this.

Then, more major things. Telemon's swords were swapped for some mortals, and other things were swapped with mortals as well. This caused mass panic in the Pantheon, but was sorted out in about a day or two, but started to raise suspicion.

Finally, mass destruction. Chaos incarnate turned into physical malice. Mortals were deleted from existence, entire buildings replaced with things or nothing at all. The clouds rained acid as the sky turned into a crimson red and a face revealing who it was. The damn Greater Admin nobody cares for, nobody worshiped, and nobody really knew who it was except for a few elders.

Telemon was pissed. Not only did he and the rest of the Pantheon have to fix this, but they had to figure out how to handle the chaos gremlin that has already destroyed three civilizations, created a mountain range, swapped entire biomes around for the hell of it, AND still is a Greater Admin who suddenly got a cult following.

Well, not a Greater Admin for long. Telemon, after fighting this Greater Admin for about 10 days (Which the mortals call 'The Ten Day Apocalypse') finally managed to make this guy mortal and threw him at the guy who made the GUI for it.

Unfortunately for Telemon, this fallen admin managed to gift 6 of his greatest followers a piece of his GUI, and blessed them to forever pass it down through their blood. These folks became known as the Exploiters, and the fallen admin became known as the Great Hacker.

Fast forward to today. One of these GUIs has gone extinct. Another is on the verge of extinction, and the last few that have it have agreed to never pass it on.

But 4 still wreaks havoc among the nations. The Pr3ttyGUI, the one prettyprincess has. The dUd3GUI, BluDude had this one. The R@vengeGUI, the one that's most like the Great Hacker's GUI. And finally, the c00lGUI, the most notorious of them all, with not only the 00 (007n7's family, as in mother, grandmother, father, grandfather, not just him and c00lkid) family having this one, but also c00lkid somehow managing to not only get his hands on one, but adapting to it so well after bringing down the pizza place as a sacrifice, people who worship the Great Hacker had said the kid could be the Great Hacker reincarnated.

TLDR: people are born with GUIs, or somehow are gifted via a sacrifice. There's even mythology to come with it. You're welcome for the world building but also the head canon. I may be back with more about the mythology so I'll have a tag.

-🐰

(Gods I needed to get this out of my system)

THIS IS SO FREAKING GOOD OH MY GOD SORYR worldbuilding worldbuilding worldbuilding hrhjejkgjher. we were thinking the original gui would be called the 4DM1Npanel_ !! other than that this is absolutely peakalicious like holy shit.

#forsaken headcanons #forsaken #forsaken roblox #roblox forsaken #🐰 anon #mod c00lkidd‼️‼️

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bi-scared · 3 days ago

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Mating Season ~ Bay Donnie Headcanons

Here are my headcanons for Bay Donnie during the mating season.

NSFW ~ F!Reader

(Note: I'm french. My english is limited and I use Deepl.)

Donnie is a mess. He can't think straight, and that gets on his nerves.

Over the years, Donnie has found solutions to make this period less difficult. A special schedule to manage his needs and his work. But let's be honest, he's not very productive during this period.

In his schedule, Donnie gives himself a period of work and then a period of play time to satisfy his needs, like a kind of pomodoro system. He tries to stick to it, but some days are harder than others.

On the hardest days, Donnie spends his time in bed, either sleeping, trying to distract himself, or indulging his cravings. His brothers know that he's totally unavailable at this time, and he turns the music up loud so they don't hear him. Because he can't even think about not making noise. There are no rules, no shame, no limits. Just him and his pleasure.

When things finally calm down, Donnie only leaves his bed to change the sheets, then goes back to bed and doesn't come out again. This time it's sleep and embarrassment that prevent him from getting up. In the end, his brothers come to reassure him (or annoy him) so that he can finally recover and resume his normal life.

If you're together but haven't gotten to sex yet, Donnie will isolate himself as he usually does, begging you not to come and disturb him because he doesn't want you to see him like this or for your first time to be during this time. He knows he wouldn't be able to control himself and he'd blame himself for the rest of his life.

After a while, he'd break down enough to send you a message, innocent at first, then increasingly suggestive, especially if you decided to tease him. “I miss you.” “You have no idea how much I'd love to see you right now.” "I feel like I'm soiling you, but it's hard not to think about you. I'm sorry…"

After a while, if you can get him to understand that you like it, Donnie ends up sending you messages that are a little more explicit about what he imagines and would like to do to you. “I want to taste you so bad…” “I can't wait to know what it feels like to be inside you…” "I'm so miserable right now… You could do whatever you want with me, no problem…"

If you initiate the thing, it might even end up in phone sex. He's ashamed of the whole thing afterwards, and you need to reassure him that you enjoyed it and would love to do it again.

If you two are already having sex, Donnie is extremely annoying and you need a lot of patience to deal with him.

First of all, he's demanding. Because his vital need is no longer “I have to cum” but “I have to cum inside my female”. His animal instinct to reproduce is uncontrollable and he finds it hard to satisfy himself on his own.

If in your version of the universe, Bay Boys can reproduce with humans then watch out because that's exactly Donnie's goal and he doesn't care if it's a good thing or not, he has to do it. No brain, just instinct.

Then he's a pain in the ass between sessions, because his brain rewires a bit and he feels guilty for being so out of control.

Because in those moments, he finds it hard not to think only of himself and not to be brutal. You'll have to tell him clearly and loudly if he hurts you, because he won't be able to see it himself. He needs to be reasoned with, and he'll beg you to do it every time his neurons are even remotely connected.

Donnie's mostly dominant at times like this, but if you're able to speak loudly and sternly, you'll be able to use blackmail or make him feel guilty to get EVERYTHING you want. Really and truly. He'll do anything. Even the hardcore stuff he wouldn't normally do for fear of hurting you, or because he's too embarrassed, or because it's just not his thing. During the mating season, he has no limits and it drives him crazy when you treat him like that. (Don't do it outside this period without talking it over with him first and making it clear that it's a game. He might feel badly treated).

If you're tired of it and want him to end up on his own (and frankly, that would be understandable), you only need to tell him once, but clearly. He'll isolate himself and take care of himself. He'll probably pout, but eventually he'll come around and apologize.

After this period, he's very tired and can't help feeling guilty. He may not even dare to come back to you the first few times, so you'll have to go looking for him, reassure him and let him sleep close to you to make him understand that no, he hasn't lost you.

#tmnt headcanons #tmnt bayverse #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #bayverse donnie #bayverse donatello #donnie x reader #donnie x y/n #donatello x reader #donatello x you #bay!donatello #tmnt bayverse donnie #tmnt bayverse donatello #tmnt donnie x reader #tmnt donatello x reader

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chara-cat5 · 1 day ago

Text

lads isekai au: q/a!

reader is gender neutral, warning: swearing, mdni

masterlist

first 1

latest 8

--------------------------------------------------------

hello loves!!

just wanted to explain a bit about a few things, clear things up.

affinity!!

for the affinity system, you start out at 1 when you meet the boys. based on the interaction, i decide how much they gain.

character's like zayne and caleb start out hight because they knew you before the story (see chapter 5 for details).

something to note for chapter 7 onward is the color coding. (god i hope it shows up for everyone. it shows op for me on and off app, so i'm assuming here).

rafayel is pink, xavier is green, zayne is blue, sylus is red and caleb is orange.

i will stick with putting their names and corresponding affinity levels in these colors.

so to make it clear, chapter 7's affinity level is associated with xavier.

another factor to level changes is also the increasingly glitchy system.

their current levels (as of chapter 8) are as follows:

rafayel- 1 (haven't seen the poor fishy in a hot minute. worry not raf lovers, he shall return eventually. every time i think about him, i get distracted, i'm sorry!!)

xavier- 10 (it may seem quick, but you've been training with him, plus system glitches.)

zayne- 5 (purely from early memories. to him, you met him sometime in middle school, with him in high school, so it's not like you knew him long.)

sylus- 3 (this is despite all his misgivings. he doesn't trust you, yet the level is still increasing...)

caleb- 10 (he thinks of you as a family friend.)

fabricated memory

when i say, "you knew caleb and zayne before," i mean in their world and their memory. you did not actually live this life.

what do you know vs what are you meant to know?

you know everything you might know as a player of love and deepspace the video game. thats from the main story to character myths. so sylus being a dragon? common knowledge, right? you are aware.

you are not meant to know practically anything about the love interests. as mia/ mc's friend, your meant to play a role closer to tara or even another love interest. mostly unaware of the others. sylus would be skye to you, caleb is dead, rafayel is just some famous, rich artist (not a fish🐟)

but of course, you're isekaied, so that's kinda out the window...

evol

your evol is plant based. little powers that stem from this is your ability to sense memories from within plants (ch 5). you are gonna be tied to plants for the duration of this fic.

i did a little search search and from what i understand, resonating is a mia/mc skill. it said her evol makes her work as a sort of battery, basically increasing (or decreasing in cases like zayne's ice overtaking him) the output of our lovely men. so, that is how i'm going to treat it. so in the case of our fight with sylus's assistance, you both fired your separate evols in the same direction at the same time. this worked in breaking the wanderer's shield.

part of this is i do not want to take mia/mc's fire. she is still a important character here, you aren't here to really replace her...

i'm really trying to balance everyone's power, not make you a weak rock but also not make you op.

other questions!

ask away, my lovelies!! i will answer what you may ask in the comments.

if any questions are really major and not spoilers (aka plot points) i will add them here in an edit along with answering in the comments.

any, this has been my ted talk, i need to sleep. (my nocturnal habits persist!!)

thank you for reading and enjoying my writing!!

-chara <3

#lads #lads mc #lads x reader #love and deepspace #caleb x reader #lads caleb #lads rafayel #lads sylus #lads xavier #rafayel x reader #lads zayne #sylus x reader #zayne x reader #xavier x reader

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theresattrpgforthat · 21 hours ago

Note

Do you have any recommendations for ttrpgs that can be played with 4 people and have simple(ish) rules? If you need a genre generic fantasy is good. Basically I'm trying to get my friends to branch out from dnd 5e, there's 7 in the group but on nights when not all of them can play I want to introduce a replacement game. Sorry this is vague, but I'm willing to try a variety

THEME: Branching Out From 5e.

Hello! Introducing players to the wide, wide world of indie ttrpgs is always a noble cause.

I know in my personal experience, finding games that fit the niche of some other pieces of media that speak to your friends is a great strategy; my friends have really taken to Pokemon, various horror games, and Final Fantasy to great success. It's also great if you can hype up elements of the game you're suggesting that players might not typically be able to do in a 5e game.

To aid you on your quest, I have the following selection to peruse! Most of the games I mention here are games I've mentioned before, but I'm trying to recommend categories of games more-so than specific ones, so read closely!

1400 Mage, by Unknown Dungeon.

1400 Mage is lo-fi hi-fantasy. Mages wield their arcane talents to push the bounds of adventure, exploring lost sky-keeps, slaying ancient titans, and saving kingdoms from aberrant armies. Whatever the source of their gift, mages fight an internal war to control the magic in their dominion, lest it take control of them.

1400 Mage is a stand-alone high-magic table-top RPG. The rules are short and easy to learn and the whole game can fit on a single sheet of paper. It can be played using just the rules provided, or combined with other entries in the 1400 series (1400 Quest, 1400 Below, 1400 Sneak, and 1400 Planes**) to expand the world and provide more character and game options.

24XX games are modular and quick, and easy to write, which means there's oodles and oodles of games out there that use the exact same system. Almost all of them use a bunch of different-sized die, which is perfect for the dice goblins at your table. These (typically) 2-page games include roll tables that give the GM plenty of inspiration that can generate a quest as you play, which means if you don't have time to prep - never fear! You'll still be able to come up with obstacles on-the-go. All of the 24XX games I've played can be as short as 2 hours, so they're also good if you don't have as much time to play as you normally do.

For games using the same system in different settings, consider 24XX Predators, 18XX Locker, and 24XX GOLIATH.

Vikings Vs Vampires, by Cartwright Shop.

Vikings Vs. Vampires is a rules-light role-playing game suitable for all ages created by Ben Cartwright and Jon Merrell. A big inspiration for Vikings Vs. Vampires was the wonderful game Honey Heist created by Grant Howitt.

Honey Heist games are very simple, with an easy-to understand premise and very few rules, and this game is no exception. It's a great option for lighthearted games with silly roll-tables - I've even had a friend use a series of roll-tables to create Honey Heist games on the fly! Characters are made up of two or three choices, and you have two stats that increase and decrease in tandem, which makes your character dynamic throughout the course of the game.

If you like the simplicity of Honey Heist games, but want a different genre, consider But I Handled It Like A Champion, The Great Soul Train Robbery, or Cryptid TV.

Stewpot: Tales From A Fantasy Tavern, by Takuma Okada & Evil Hat.

The adventurer’s life is tough. It’s time to call it quits. For years you stumbled through hostile lands, living off stale rations, and struggling to get a few hours’ sleep. Now it’s time to hang up your weapons, sell off your armor, and settle down. If only it were that easy…

Stewpot: Tales from a Fantasy Tavern by Takuma Okada is a collection of cozy mini-games that tell the story of a tavern run by former adventurers. Gather your dice, pick up a deck of cards, set aside a shiny coin, and get ready for a new set of challenges. Only this time… your adventures start behind the bar.

Stewpot allows players to pick up characters they may have played before, in a familiar setting but a different end goal: serving good food to weary travelers. The game takes place over a series of mini-games, which the entire group works together to navigate. Since it's GM-less, it gives your group a taste of collaborative story-building, and might possibly gives someone a bug for running games themselves. I definitely encourage you to check out various GM-less games, as they typically take a lot of pre-game stress away from the person hosting or facilitating the game.

If you like the laid back feel and pacing of Stewpot, but want some other options, consider A Complicated Profession, i'm sorry did you say street magic, or Intemperate Shadows.

Liminal Horror, by Goblin Archives.

There’s a strange comfort to ambiguity. To stand at the threshold between states of what was and what’s next, to inhabit the places of transition. But you’re never truly alone here. There are things that hunger within the dark places. Strange creatures and mysteries lie in wait and tumbling into the wrong place at the wrong time may put you on the path towards doom.

Grab your flashlights and blood splattered jackets as you try to make it through the night. Beware, snapping bone and rending flesh are often the simplest outcome. While there may be great power within these places… not all mysteries can be solved and not everyone can be saved. Above all, there are fates far worse than death.

Will you escape with your life? And what kind of person will you become in your quest to survive? There’s only one way to find out…

Liminal Horror sits comfortably in the OSR family, which prioritizes quick & easy character creation, and rules that get out of the way to let the locations and problems of the story shine. These kinds of games work best with pre-written modules, which both take the burden of planning off of the GMs shoulders a little bit, and helps you pace the game. Additionally, since Liminal Horror is meant to be somewhat lethal, you can kill off PCs and roll up new ones fairly quickly - exceptionally well-suited for one-shots.

Similar games within the OSR space but change up the setting include Mausritter, Mothership and Cairn.

Secret Science Sewer Siblings, by Cloven Pine Games.

You and your siblings are sewer animals mutated into bipedal beings with bodies and minds similar to human adolescents. You've also been trained in ancient martial arts. Go rescue your mentor and learn to share pizza with your siblings!

A simple tabletop RPG in the vein of Lasers & Feelings. Perfect for on-boarding interested newcomers into the world of roleplaying games.

Designed on the Lasers & Feelings ruleset, SSSS is extremely simple to play and on-the-nose-goofy, perfect for a lighthearted game night. It encourages as many jokes as you can think of, and cartoony hi-jinx, which creates an easy buy-in because players can always get silly with it if they're not sure what to do next. At the same time, it's inspired by a well-known cartoon franchise, so if your players understand what Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is about, they'll have plenty of references to pull on when deciding what should happen next.

Similar games that use the same rule-set but change up the genre include Vampire Cowboys, Monsters & Counselors, and the granddaddy of them all, Lasers & Feelings.

Escape From Dino Island, by Sam Roberts.

Escape from Dino Island is a thrilling adventure game of intrepid heroes trapped on an island overrun with creatures from a lost age—dinosaurs!

Players take on the role of brave, competent, but fundamentally normal people in way over their heads. The game helps you create action-packed stories that are full of suspense, but in which fighting is rarely a good option.

Pre-generated characters make it easy to jump into play, and Dino Island comes with characters almost instantly ready for you to start playing. Since it's designed for a one-shot, it's a low-commitment game that doesn't require the players to sign up for more than 2 sessions, and it doubles as an introduction to Powered by the Apocalypse games, which is a total shift from the game experience you find in D&D. If your table enjoys moments where their characters get into arguments, or if they are equally interested in failure as they are in success, then you'll get a lot out of this game.

Similar games that may differ in genre but provide the same easy experience include Visigoths vs. Mall Goths, Back Again From the Broken Land, and Sunset Kills.

For Your Reading Pleasure…

Some of the games here are better off as campaigns, rather than one-shots, so I'd recommend them if your group starts showing an interest in longer games.

Fabula Ultima, by NEED Games, for the anime fan in your life.

Dragonbane, by Free League Publishing, for folks who want Daffy Duck to be a playable character in their fantasy world.

Lancer, by Massif Press, for the hardcore mech lover and war-gamer in your group.

The Wildssea, by Felix Isaacs, if what your crew craves is something novel, fresh, and inspiring.

MASKS: A New Generation, by Magpie Games, and Monster of the Week, by Micheal Sands, for folks who love emotions, character arcs, and plenty of extra content.

Easy To Teach Recommendation Post

First-Time GMs Recommendation Post

(also honestly you should probably check out Cloven Pine Games in general, as I've accidentally recommended three of their games in this post alone.)

If you like what I do and want to leave a tip, you can check out my Ko-Fi!

#introductory games #tabletop games #indie ttrpgs #game recommendations #dnd #asks #indie ttrpg

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storiesbyshadow · 2 days ago

Text

It Should Be Me

Fandom: Love and Deepspace

Pairing: Caleb x Reader

Rating: Mature

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Jealous Caleb, Like...maybe one curse word, Kissing, and I think that's it.

Word Count: 500+

Divider By: @thecutestgrotto

The hum of the spaceship’s systems buzzed quietly in the background, a low pulse that usually soothed Caleb. But today, it grated on him like static in his ears.

He stood outside the rec room, your laughter echoing from within, warm and melodic. He clenched his jaw, fists tightening at his sides.

He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. Not really. He was walking past when he heard your name and the word “date” in the same sentence. Then first date. And then you... laughing. Excited.

Someone else had asked you out. And you said yes.

Caleb’s blood ran cold.

You’d never mentioned dating anyone. He thought, no, hoped you weren’t even thinking about things like that yet. Not when you two spent late nights stargazing through the observation deck windows. Not when you always turned to him first after missions. Not when you smiled like that at him.

And yet here you were. Planning a date with someone who wasn’t him.

He turned on his heel before anyone noticed him and walked briskly down the hall, not even sure where he was going, only that he needed space.

The training room was empty.

Good.

Caleb punched the target dummy with more force than necessary, his blows rhythmic and fast. His knuckles throbbed under his gloves, but he didn’t stop. Couldn’t. He was angry.

Not at you.

Never at you.

At himself.

For waiting too long. For thinking he had time. For assuming you’d just... wait for him to get his shit together.

A voice in the back of his mind screamed: You idiot. You were too careful. Too distant. And now someone else gets to hold her hand.

He slammed his fist into the dummy again, harder this time. The sound of the impact echoed in the silence. His breath came in sharp bursts.

“She deserves better than this,” he muttered to himself. “Than someone who doesn’t even have the guts to tell her how he feels.”

He didn’t know how long he stayed there before he heard the soft hiss of the doors opening.

And then...

“Caleb?”

Your voice.

He froze, body tense, then slowly, he turned to face you.

You stood there, dressed casually but with that extra effort that made his stomach twist. You looked so radiant, so effortlessly you. And he hated that someone else would get to see you like this tonight.

“Hey,” he said, voice rough.

You tilted your head. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“I haven’t.”

“Liar.” You smiled gently, but there was a crease of worry between your brows. “What’s going on?”

He looked away, jaw tight. “So... you’re going on a date.”

You blinked. “Yeah. My first one. It’s not a big deal-”

“It is to me,” he snapped, then winced. He hadn't meant to say it like that.

You blinked again, slower this time. “What do you mean?”

He stepped forward, his anger melting into anguish.

“It kills me to know someone else is going to be with you tonight. To see you smile like that. To maybe hold your hand. Laugh with you. And it’s not me.”

Your lips parted, shocked.

He ran a hand through his hair, his voice lower now, trembling slightly. “I thought I had time. I thought I could just... stay close, protect you, wait until it was right. But I waited too long, didn’t I?”

A silence stretched between you. Thick. Vulnerable.

Then softly...

“Caleb,” you said, “do you really think I said yes to someone else because I don’t care about you?”

He swallowed hard. “Didn’t you?”

You stepped closer, close enough that he could see the warmth in your eyes, the softness in your voice.

“I said yes because I thought you didn’t care. You never said anything. I didn’t want to keep hoping for something that might not happen.”

He looked at you like he was seeing the stars for the first time.

“I care about you more than anything,” he whispered. “I just... didn’t know how to tell you without messing it all up.”

You gave a small smile. “So tell me now.”

And he did.

He cupped your face gently, searching your eyes for any doubt, and when he saw none, he leaned in and kissed you.

It was soft. Tentative. Full of all the things he hadn’t said, all the nights he’d held back, all the warmth he’d kept guarded in his chest.

When he pulled back, his voice was hoarse.

“Don’t go on that date.”

You grinned. “Wasn’t planning to.”

He blinked. “Wait, what?”

“I canceled it. Right before coming here. I needed to know how you felt. And now I do.”

Caleb let out a breath of disbelief, then pulled you into his arms, holding you like he never wanted to let go again.

“You’re mine now,” he murmured against your hair. “And I’m never making you wonder again.”

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace caleb #deepspace hunter #caleb #caleb x reader #caleb x you #shadow writes things

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neptuneball · 16 hours ago

Text

TW: opinion, cussing (for the babies in this fandom)

i want to add in my two cents on the new reveal of earth and luna being siblings but first! we need to discuss my overarching opinion on familial relationships in this show:

i think it’s fucking stupid actually :D like in the case of neptune and uranus being cousins— it does absolutely nothing for ANYTHING!! there was no point in making them cousins especially bc they don’t even treat each other like that in canon (they hardly even treat each other like friends the majority of the time). by assigning them a familial relationship, alvaro did nothing but hinder fan creativity and prevent things like shipping uranus x neptune. like, i know it was based off of their similarities as the two ice giants of our solar system but that actually didn’t have to equate to them being related…

if you want to use that logic alvaro, fine. but then use it for venus and earth too, bc they are both also considered sister planets!! should they not be considered brothers? why are you picking and choosing?? i think that’s what people are mostly frustrated with. it’s not clear across the board who is related to who and WHY ykwim.

as for earth and luna being not only brothers but also the kids of proto and theia, i don’t like it either. like i was saying, it hinders fandom creativity, ruins the previously developed and established relationships dynamics between earth and the rest of the cast and also just feels thrown in there. (don’t even get me started about this info being patreon exclusive until now, that shit PMO so hard) and now with this finally being revealed to the general public, shipping is gonna take a massive hit which is just bad for the fandom.

people are going to get pissed off and leave bc suddenly their favorite ships have a weird—UNNECESSARY—ethical dilemma. the younger, inexperienced members of our fandom will take this as reason to start attacking people for having been apart of the, for example, earthluna shipping, and things are gonna get toxic and hard to be a part of.

i want to clear up that no, i don’t ship uranep (i do view them as family as i has written into many of my fics) and no i don’t ship earthluna (idk i don’t really focus on the rocky planets - i view them more like father/son or brothers) but i would like to come out and say i WANT THE OPTION TO DO IT. that’s what i LOVE about this fandom!! i love have the OPTION to ship characters and see characters as having a different/deeper relationship than in canon. i love being able to play around with character designs and make weird headcanons and generally have the freedom the do whatever i fucking want with the characters bc bro they are personified celestial objects, let them fuck AGAGAGAGAGA. i want the OPTION to ship whoever i want, the OPTION to view whoever i want a family (without fandom backlash) and the OPTION to think that two characters shouldn’t be related.

to reiterate in case i’m not being clear enough: by canonizing a relationship dynamic between two characters, you take away my ability to be creative with the characters!!! even if alvaro had never canonized uranus and neptune being cousins, i would still have had the OPTION to view them more like brothers/cousins than lovers—but he did and now if i were to ship them, id get laughed off the internet for being an incest shipper. if he had never canonized earth and luna, i would’ve STILL been able to see them as brothers but i also would’ve had grounds to explore a deeper connection between them!! like i said, that’s what people are mad about. they are mad that their options are being taken away and frankly they have every right to feel that way. if you are going to wait until 3 years into the show to canonize a character relationship that had been purposefully left up to debate, don’t be surprised when there is push back against it.

directed towards younger fans who have never been exposed to a situation like this in a fandom: BE NICE TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE DIFFERENT INTERPRETATIONS OF CANON. DONT ATTACK PEOPLE WHO DONT KNOW. DONT SHAME PEOPLE OFF THE INTERNET JUST BC YOU THINK YOU KNOW BEST. this fandom is already insufferable. DO NOT ADD TO IT.

#solarballs #opinion #solarballs earth #solarballs luna #solarballs neptune #solarballs uranus #as the way things stand now- i have the OPTION to either ship vearth OR view them as brothers with a really complicated relationship #and i LIKE THAT #i like being about to explore and change my mind about two characters based on whatever situation i know get to put them i #and for the younger fans of the show who have never been exposed to this type of fandom discourse: be respectful of others #please i’m begging you to not take this as the gospel and use it as a reason to attack creators for their opinions #when you do shit like that- fandom spaces become toxic and inhospitable to new ideas #fandom discourse is so stupid and it RUINS fandoms #don’t let solarballs die bc you can’t handle other people thinking differently than you #and to all the uranep and earthluna shippers out there #even if i don’t ship ur ship- i respect your creativity and ability to do so #dont let this be the end of your solarballs story #even tho i totally understand ur frustrations #i know some amazing creators who ship these ships and i would be devestated to lose them from our fandom #and to extra clarify: this isn’t proship #it’s understanding that the show writing DID leave room for these ideas up until now #and being nice to people for having their own opinions and ideas #bc no one deserves to get laughed out of the fandom for shipping two characters that hadn’t been officially canonized as related until now #have a good day and remember to be nice to others :3

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antithetical-bolter · 5 hours ago

Text

Out Of The Woods

Chapter 1

Shoutout to @antisocialfiore for helping me with the title!! This is my first fic I’ve posted to tumblr so any tips on how to keep chapters organized and whatnot would be lovely. Hang in there while I figure it out lmao. Chapter 2 is written and will be posted shortly <3

5.0k words | Seasoned ER nurse Iris McDowell finds herself pregnant after a one night stand with Robby, who is predictably handling things very poorly.

Warnings: unplanned pregnancy, discussion of abortions, excessive use of the word fuck, commas, and em dashes.

Tag list: @antisocialfiore @snowflames-world @eviemonroeer

Page dividers by: @cafekitsune

Iris

Well, shit.

That is most definitely two pink lines.

On three different tests. Iris Elizabeth McDowell, you fucking idiot.

Just my fucking luck, that getting tipsy and fucking the very hot and very emotionally unavailable attending would result in a god damn pregnancy. I’d been blissfully ignorant the last 3 weeks - my periods have never been all that regular but as soon as the nausea and the sore boobs hit I knew it was time to face the music. And sure enough, the music was telling me that I was pregnant. With Michael Robinavitch’s baby.

Robby, who has barely made eye contact with me past what was required for patient care since it happened. Robby, who let it slip at the bar that he had been interested in me for months now. Robby, who I was unfortunately in love with. Had been for an embarrassingly long time now - so him up and leaving the morning after the best sex of my life triggered a full blown crisis. Almost a decade of pining, all for one (admittedly spectacular) night. The whole debacle had me briefly considering finding a new ER to work at, but I decided I wouldn’t let a man dictate my life. Even if it was that man.

Do I want to keep it? I think so? Should I want to keep it? Probably not.

It’s not like I’m some young new grad nurse who doesn’t have a career. I’ve been an ER nurse for more than ten years now, working at the Pitt for all but the first two. I’m damn good at my job, so much so that I occasionally fill in for the charge nurses, and I have a great support system. But the thought of having to tell Robby that I’m carrying his child? Genuinely makes me want to puke. Again.

I have money, a 2 bedroom condo, a regular enough schedule that daycare wouldn’t be an issue. But do I really want to be a single mom? Put my body through the fucking wild ride that is pregnancy? Oh god. Pregnancy scrubs? The absolute worst. Not to mention actually giving birth.

Thankfully, the universe has seen fit to give me a single win in all this, and I have the next 4 days off to figure out how to be normal at work again. First order of business - call my OB. A brief phone call later, I have an appointment for 9:45. Just over two hours from now.

Fuck, I could really use my mom right now. Not like we were ever super close, with her living on the west coast and me getting the fuck out of my tiny ass hometown right after high school, but I’d like the option to call her and freak out. Both her and my dad were killed in a car accident just over three years ago, and somehow this scenario had never crossed my mind. I have an older brother who lives back home in Washington, but we have very different works views and I highly doubt he would be a good source of familial support. Cue the tears - but they feel cathartic. A release I desperately need right now.

My therapist is going to lose her ever-loving mind. A quick look on her patient portal reveals that she has an opening this afternoon, so I guess that makes 2 wins from the universe for me today. I’ll take what I can get.

I am very picky about my medical providers. Working in the field myself means I have seen some shit doctors, and I just flat out refuse to put my care in the hands of someone I don’t trust. My OB is the best of the best, and she’s really earning her copay right now.

The transvaginal ultrasound was quick, confirming that I definitely have something cooking in there. The tech asked if I wanted to hear the heartbeat - but I said no. I’m right at the six week mark so a heartbeat can be heard at this point but I am not ready for that just yet. Not until I decide what I want to do. My OB, bless her, ran me through all of my options. She knows I know them, I’m an ER nurse after all, but it’s like all my schooling and experience fell out of my brain the second the stick(s) turned pink.

She encouraged me to take my time making a decision, since I have a few weeks to make a choice either way. We went through what it would look like to keep, terminate, and adopt. Having all the information laid out in front of me makes me feel both better and far, far worse.

She also tells me that no matter what the father wants, this is my choice. That I should lean on my people, and find someone I trust to tell. That if I do decide to terminate, I need to have someone with me after I take the medications to make sure everything progresses as it should.

I leave the appointment armed with 4 different pamphlets and 3 sonogram images that I have yet to look at.

Therapy is significantly harder. Erica, bless her, has been my therapist since I moved to Pittsburgh for college when I was 18. She knows me far too well - immediately clocks that it must be hard to be dealing with all of this without my mom’s support, which triggers a crying spell. Once I’ve recovered from that we move on to how I’m going to tell Robby.

“I don’t know, Erica. He’s barely looked at me since we slept together, I can count the non-patient related words he’s said to me since then on one hand and none of them were particularly nice.” That man needs therapy more than anyone I’ve ever met. He’s an incredible doctor and great to his friends, but ever since he fucked up his relationship with Collins so badly that she left the state he’s been especially moody.

“How do you think he’s going to react to this?”

“Not particularly well. He’ll freak out, not speak to me for a few days, and then inevitably come back around and say that he’ll help me with whatever I choose. I know that if I decide to keep it that he would help, but that it would be out of obligation and that is not what I want. I would never keep him away from his kid but I can almost guarantee that I would be eternally fucked up over it.” Erica nods thoughtfully, taking a pause to formulate a reply that won’t send me over the edge.

“Maybe you should start by telling someone else, then. Maybe Samira, or Dana? Someone who will support you unconditionally without any emotional baggage taking up space in the back seat. They could help you decide what to say when you tell him, and support you if it goes as poorly as you think it will.” She gives me a very pointed look before continuing. “Also, and really think about this before brushing it off, maybe this conversation between you and Robby will help you both. A push that requires communication where there is a gap right now.”

“I - I, ugh. I just really, really don’t want to have to do this with him. He really hurt me when he just up and fucking ghosted me. Especially because he spent the whole night prior telling me that he’s been wanting to kiss me for months, and a whole bunch of other shit that he clearly didn’t mean.” He doesn’t seem like the type to spout bullshit to get a woman into bed with him, but I really cannot come up with another reason for him to be acting this way.

“It’s fair and reasonable for you to be scared. And if he screws this up, you have my blessing to tell him to fuck off. But no matter what you choose, you will be okay. It might suck for a while, but you will come out the other side.” The unspoken words are loud - that I will be okay but that it’s going to take a while for me to get there.

“I know you’re right but it’s hard to see right now.” Pretty much impossible, actually.

“That’s okay, I’m here to remind you. Your homework this week is to tell someone you trust.” Sad that I don’t consider the father someone I trust, but he definitely is not making that list right now.

“I’m going to call Dana literally as soon as we hang up - Samira’s working right now.” She nods in response, flashes me what I’m sure is supposed to be a reassuring smile but it just doesn’t land. We schedule an appointment for next week and then we hang up. I give myself 10 minutes to spiral before I pick up the phone and call Dana.

Dana picks up her phone on the third ring.

“Hey, kid! Where are ya?” I can hear the sounds of what is likely a bar or restaurant in the background and belatedly realize that there’s ER social plans today - most of day shift is gathered at the sports bar near the hospital to watch the first Penguins game of the regular season. Hockey is one of the few sports I will watch voluntarily, and I definitely told Dana I would try and make it out tonight.

“Shit, Dana. I totally spaced, had a bit of a personal crisis. Can I call you later? When you aren’t surrounded by our coworkers?” I hear a booming laugh in the background and immediately place it as Robby’s. Because of course he’s there. “Can you just, uh - text me when you leave the bar?”

“Hold up, Iris, wait. Are you okay?” Her voice changes, drops lower and sounds muffled. Like she’s covering her mouth while she speaks in an effort to afford me some privacy. She knows something happened between Robby and I, and has had a front row seat to whatever the fuck is going on right now so she’s sensitive to the fact that I might not want him knowing about said personal crisis. Little does she fucking know that he’s going to be quite privy to the details when I’m no longe actively in a state of crisis.

“I mean, okay is not really the word I would use but I’m safe and not currently in any physical danger.” Very much not okay, but I don’t want to make her change her plans for me. It’s so rare that we’re all able to see each other outside the Pitt and I know she values this time with her friends.

“Iris, honey. What’s wrong?” I don’t answer, but I do start to cry. My best efforts at keeping my sobs quiet are unsuccessful. “Oh fuck, you know what, never mind, I’m just gonna come over. Hang tight, okay?” I hear the screech of a chair as she presumably scoots back and stands up. Her voice is quieter as she speaks next, having moved the phone so she can talk to whoever else is at the table. “Change of plans, guys. I have to go. Enjoy the game and I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

The crying has not slowed in the thirty seconds it takes her to get outside.

“Dana, really, I appreciate it but you can stay and finish the game. I can wait.” I must not convince her, because she laughs at me. Fairly so, given that my words are very much broken up by sobs.

“Absolutely not. I’m on my way, I’ll see you in ten minutes.”

She arrives in eight.

I’m waiting by the door, and open it before she has a chance to knock. I’m still crying - no longer sobbing, but a pretty steady stream of tears track their way down my cheeks. I see the question forming on her lips but I beat her to it and hold out my three positive tests for her to see.

“Are we happy? Shopping? Making an appointment at the clinic?” Classic Dana - no big reaction, just thoughtful statements of action. Unfortunately I don’t know what I want.

“I don’t know yet. Took the tests early this morning and was able to get in last minute to see OB to confirm it. I’m just about 6 weeks along and I have no fucking clue what I want to do.” She closes the door behind her and immediately pulls me into a tight hug. Rubs my back with one hand and runs the other through my hair, tells me that it’s okay to not know what I want and that she’s here for me no matter what. Does not ask me who the father is. Unfortunately that is the biggest piece to this puzzle and I know I need to tell her.

We move to my couch and she makes me drink some water before continuing to fill her in. I decide it’s best to just fucking do it - no preamble and no backstory.

“Robby’s the father.” That stops her in her tracks for a second. Her eyes go wide and I can tell she’s working extremely hard to keep her own emotions under wraps.

“Well, shit. So that ‘thing’ that happened between you guys in September was sex?” I nod. “And, let me hazard a guess here, he freaked the fuck out and now he’s unable to act normal around you.” I nod again.

“That about sums it up. He left before I woke up and any effort I made to talk to him about it ended with him getting snippy and walking away from me. My texts went unanswered so I just stopped trying.”

“What an asshole - I’m so sorry, Iris.” She leans over to pull me into another hug. “Are you going to tell him?”

“I mean I kinda have to, don’t I? Would be a real dick move of me to not tell him about this. Even if he doesn’t deserve me speaking to him ever again.”

“I think that depends on what you decide you want to do. If you want to keep it, then yeah you’re gonna have to tell him. But if you don’t, then we go to the clinic this week and he remains none the wiser. Either choice is okay, whatever you decide to do will be the right decision for you.” I take a deep breath, enjoying having her here to support me.

“See that’s the thing, my first instinct is that I want to keep it. I’ve always thought that I could go either way on having kids, but now that it’s staring me in the face I can’t imagine not going through with it.” Saying it out loud all but confirms my decision - this is happening. I’m going to have a baby. And I’m going to have to tell Robby.

“Then that’s what will happen. I’ve got your back through all of it, and if you want me to hide upstairs while you tell Robby I can do that. I’ll even chase him out if he acts a fool.” She’s serious, and I love her for that.

“Might not be a terrible idea. The last thing I want is for him to be involved purely out of obligation.” I debate stopping there, not divulging the depths of my (extremely unadvised) feelings for him, but I’ve already gone this far so what’s the harm in spilling the whole story. “I’m like, stupidly in love with that man. Have been for a long time, and I was happy to have it kinda live in the background of my life up until recently. He approached me at that party we had for Jesse and we hit it off, and he was really sweet. Told me that he’s been wanting to kiss me for months and that he hasn’t been able to get me out of his head. We each had a few drinks, but I wasn’t drunk. A little tipsy for sure, but sober enough to consent and be smart about it. We even used a fucking condom! Then he was gone when I woke up and you’ve seen how he’s been since then.” She grimaces a little before responding.

“Yeah, he’s been in rare Robby form. Very broody. But, Iris, I really think he meant what he told you. Handled it terribly for sure, but he’s so thoroughly fucked up in the past that his ex literally left the state. He’s probably just trying to protect you in his own, very fucked up way.” I laugh and try to wipe away the tears staining my face, but they just keep coming.

“Well he’s doing a terrible job. Is it crazy of me to make him go to therapy before I let him really be involved? Is that, like, blackmailing?” The last thing I want out of all this is for my kid to be hurt in the same way - their dad hot and cold, unable to really make a commitment to be present in their life.

“Maybe a bit, but I fully support you in that. I actually think that’s plenty reasonable, and if he gives you pushback then he’ll hear about it from me.” So quick to jump in and support me, even when the problem is one of her best and longest friends. “If it makes you feel any better, the second I said your name at the bar earlier he looked like he was two seconds away from taking my phone and checking on you himself.” A mirthful laugh escapes me at that - it does not make me feel better.

“Then blackmail it is. Now, how the fuck am I supposed to have this conversation with him when I can’t even get him to say three consecutive words to me that aren’t directly work related?”

We spend the next hour brainstorming, and by the time she leaves I feel better. I have a loose plan, my tear ducts have long since run dry, and I no longer feel like I’m about to majorly fuck my whole life up.

I make myself a list before I go to sleep - things I need to buy for first trimester health, food I should avoid, and symptoms I’ve been experiencing so I can be as informed as possible.

My list exhausts me (that, and the tiny human I’m currently forming) and I fall into a blissful, dreamless sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

I spend the next few days making more lists. Baby names, furniture, birth plans. If there’s a relevant list to be made - it’s currently up on my fridge.

My first day back at work since The Event (TM) is fine, I guess. Dana greets me with a hug and a quiet check in, and while this isn’t that out of the ordinary it is unusual that she pulls me off the floor to do it. I feel Robby’s eyes track us as we walk back in from the ambulance bay, especially when we get closer and Dana does not smell like she’s just come back from a smoke break.

I treat Robby to his own taste of the silent treatment. No niceties, no attempts at small talk. Strictly patient care and work related conversations, and honestly conversations is a generous word. Terse exchanges is more accurate. Not even a polite smile in his direction. I don’t let it get in the way of my job, and if I do say so myself I really knock it out of the park nursing wise. Even escaping to the bathroom a few times per shift to puke doesn’t get in the way of my determination to keep up my ‘everything is fine’ facade.

Three shifts pass in this manner, three shifts where I can feel him fucking watching me like he knows something is up. Thirty-six hours of me sitting on the biggest fucking secret I’ve ever kept when all I really want to do is yell “Hey, fuckface! You ghosted me and it sucked, and I’m fucking angry about. By the way, I’m pregnant with your child. Get some god damn therapy if you’d like to be involved!” And then walk out, middle fingers up, leaving him to stand with the aftermath of his actions.

But, unfortunately, I am a professional adult so I don’t do that. I do heavily fantasize about it though.

Samira notices that something is up right away, but she is also on a long stretch of shifts so we agree to hang out when our work weeks are both done. We meet for breakfast (at 8pm) at the closest Denny’s and she spits out her coffee when I tell her that not only did I sleep with Robby, but that there’s going to be literal life long consequences for it come early June.

“Oh my god. I would ask if you’re okay, but I think I can answer that myself. When are you going to tell him?” I shrug as I finish my bite of French toast.

“Great question. He’s been fucking frosty with me lately and it doesn’t have me feeling very generous towards him. I know he deserves to know but god the thought of that conversation makes me want to punch a wall.” Another bite of toast. “I know that a few weeks after we slept together was the anniversary of Pitt Fest and Adamson’s death, but the way he’s been treating me does not make me want to tell him. It makes me want to be spiteful and keep it from him until the last possible second, so he can be as blindsided as I feel right now. Very immature of me and I won’t do that but it’s nice to entertain it for a bit.”

“He’s clearly fumbling the bag pretty hard right now, but you and I both know he’s going to do the right thing.”

“I know, and that’s almost worse. If he’s going to be all emotionally constipated while attempting to be present I am going to lose my shit. Dana said she thinks I am well within my rights to threaten him with therapy, so I think that’s my game plan.”

“That’s - that’s actually a great idea. If anything will get that man into therapy it’s the threat of potentially fucking up his child’s life.” She chuckles a bit. “Can I tell Jack? I will obviously swear him to secrecy but it might be nice to have him in your corner.”

“Please do - but if he tells Robby before I do I will kill him.”

“And I will help you hide the body. Also, he’s picking me up from this meal so if you’d like to fill him in yourself you’re about to have your window.” Like she summoned him, Jack Abbot walks in the door. He immediately finds Samira and she waves him over.

I decide that I do not have another long, emotional story in me and just spit it out.

“Hi, Jack.” He looks at me a little weird, we’re friendly at work but I don’t think I’ve ever called him by his first name before. “Welcome to the party, you’re about to hear some very classified information so prepare yourself.” He stares at me, a little stunned, but I just keep on talking. “I’m pregnant and keeping it. Robby’s the father, but I haven’t told him yet.” His jaw drops open, and he has to open and close it a few times before actual words come out.

“Uhhh, wow. Fuck. Are you, uhm, are you going to tell him?”

“I mean, yeah. Not sure when or how, but yeah. What’s your opinion on me using this as an opportunity to threaten him into therapy?” This gets a loud, genuine laugh from him.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea. You want my therapists number? I’ve given it to him multiple times but he’s clearly never used it.” Abbot doesn’t wait for me to answer, just pulls a card out of his wallet and hands it to me. “Are you doing okay? Managing symptoms alright?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks. Freaking the fuck out, but okay.” With that, I decide I’ve had enough social interaction for the day. “Now that all that’s out of the way, I’m going to head home. Samira, love you, thanks for the support, and Jack I’m a little sorry to drag you into all this but thankful that you’re here anyway.” I leave them at that, dropping enough cash to cover my meal and all but running to my car so I can have my next meltdown in peace.

I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I let another two full weeks pass before I even consider telling Robby. Erica, Dana, and Samira are all on my case a little bit but ultimately don’t push me too hard. My OB and therapist have both been informed that I’ve decided to continue the pregnancy, and the appropriate follow up appointments have been scheduled.

It takes an extra long session with Erica, complete with roll play and multiple outcomes of the conversation for me to feel even slightly ready to broach the subject with him. We decide that I’ll attempt to talk to him after our next shift together, a rare night where neither of us have to be in the next morning.

Dana knows, and as she leaves out the ambulance bay doors she shoots me a very encouraging thumbs up and a ‘call me!’ While I wait for him to leave. I don’t have to wait much longer. 10 minutes pass before I see him walk out, backpack slung over his shoulders and thick winter jacket thrown on like it’s armor. He doesn’t turn his head to look at me as he passes.

I parked at the very end of the lot today, hoping to use my car as an excuse to follow him for a bit. As we approach my green Honda CRV, I know it’s time to bite the bullet.

“Hey, uh, Robby? Can we talk for a sec?” He pauses, takes an AirPod out, and turns to face me. He looks like shit. Tired, like he hasn’t had a good sleep in weeks. I feel mean for thinking it, but I’m glad he’s getting just as much (little?) rest as I am.

“I’ve got somewhere to be, Iris. Now’s not a good time.” He may be facing me, but he’s not really looking at me. Fucking infuriating.

“It won’t take long, please. It’s kinda important.” Fuck him for making me plead to have a conversation - this is starting to feel a little humiliating. I can feel the tears forming and threatening to spill out, but he isn’t looking at me so he doesn’t see them.

“Not now. There isn’t really anything for us to talk about. I have to go, I’ll see you later.” And with that, he’s got his AirPod back in and is walking away. Fucking dick. The hot sting of rejection sits heavy in my chest, and I have to take a few minutes before I feel steady enough to drive home.

I work myself up pretty well on the way home, moving from shame to anger. I kick my shoes off in the entryway and slam my bag down, feeling like I need to scream. I decide a run will suffice and quickly change into my running gear. As I slip on my shoes and grab my running belt I decide there’s something I need to do first, and pull my phone out to send the riskiest text I’ve ever sent.

Iris (7:58pm)

Hi, asshole. I have been working up the nerve to talk to you for weeks, but since I apparently don’t deserve even five minutes of your time I guess this is how you’re going to find out.

I attach a picture of the tests and hit send, and then immediately send a follow up.

Iris (7:59pm)

Before you have the fucking audacity to ask, yes it’s yours and I’ll be keeping it.

I immediately put my phone on do not disturb and start my watch so I can track my run. I hit the pavement with a vengeance. My feet feel heavy beneath me, and it takes me longer than usual to feel warmed up enough to really run. I blast my angriest playlist, and run until I no longer feel like murdering the father of my unborn child.

I hit my favorite smoothie place on my way home, and call Dana as I walk and warm down.

“So I told him.” She gasps. “But, uh, over text. I tried to talk to him as he left but he blew me off and I was just so fucking angry and maybe jumped the gun a little, but it’s done now. I went for a run as soon as I got home, I’m walking back to my place as we speak.”

“How are you feeling about it, hon?”

“Terrified. Have not checked to see if he’s responded. Maybe a little elated? But like, in a manic way so maybe that’s not a good thing.” Dana laughs and reassures me.

“It’s alright, kid. That’s a big step you just took and you tried to do it in person, so fuck it. You want me to come over?” She asks, just as I turn the corner onto my street. My heart all but stops as I see an unfortunately familiar suburban parked in front of my house, and my breathing stops with it when I see that the man himself is sitting on my front steps.

“Oh fuck.”

“He’s at your house, isn’t he?” She’s far too smart for her own good, or maybe she just knows him too well.

“Yup.” God dammit, past Iris. Did you really have to send those texts?

“I can still come over if you want.” Seriously considering taking her up on that.

“No, I’ll handle him. But, maybe later? If and when I need to cry about this?”

“I’ll be waiting by the phone. You’ve got this, kid. Give him hell.”

#the Pitt fanfic #the Pitt fanfiction #michael robby robinavitch #Robby x ofc #Robby x original female character #Dana Evans #Jack Abbot #Samira Mohan #jack x samira

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