#and Wylan would help Matthias with Kerch

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

*schemes ways to push the Wylan & Matthias are best friends agenda*

[mmgwritings]

RUIN ME, RUIN US

Characters: Kaz Brekker / Dreg ! Reader

Prompts: “I… I want you to touch me,” Kaz admits, while staring up at the ceiling, "There" cheeks reddening in an increasing show of embarrassment. (prompt created by @dumplingsjinson)

Warnings: Smut; Canon divergence; Obviously, I didn't proofread again; Masturbation; Oral Sex; NSFW; Really Long Text Sorry!

The streets were packed with people. Dazzled tourists, ravkan peasants, privileged and neglected children fought for space in the alleys with merchants, prostitutes and pickpockets - all the same, all too happy with the promises of the holiday. Nachtspel was an event during the Kerch year, in Ketterdam the party lasted for more than a week if you looked for the right club to spend money on frivolous pleasures.

This year people commented that the festival would last a month due to the visit of King Nikolai of Ravka, a tall man with a sarcastic smile who every now and then Y/N would bump into in the Slat - a place where kings didn't belong, that much she knew... at least not kings with a good reputation. The visit of the Ravkans was a promise of prosperity, King Nikolai and his entourage were in Ketterdam to bargain a spice trade line with the Council of Tides, a way of linking Ravka, Kerch and Shu Han in a triple alliance.

But it's interesting to think that King Nikolai is smart enough to also bargain with the real monarch of Kerch: Kaz Brekker. Y/N had not yet been in Ketterdam years ago when the Fold was destroyed, when a certain Ravkan prince needed the help of a small gang of thieves. But she heard about all this from Jesper, the Dregs' sharpshooter and part of Kaz's small retinue: the Crows. She also heard about the former king of Ketterdam, Pekka Rollins, and how Kaz made him beg, how he took everything from Rollins: clubs, indentures, friends in politics. Everything.

Well, almost everything. Kaz Brekker remains a mystery.

Y/N met Kaz a few days after arriving in Ketterdam, when he walked into the teashop she tended to. He needed a new waitress for the Crow Club, a seemingly simple job if the additional skill of the position wasn't listening to the conversations of some customers. She accepted, and here she is three years later. And she's dangerously involved with Kaz.

It all started very simply, they barely realized that they were spending too much time together. Y/N in the lounge, taking care of drinks or delivering envelopes to Kaz's office, or sharing a quiet living room in the Slat after everyone went to sleep.

One thing led to another over the years. A whispered conversation after the two drank too much, a longing look exchanged as they left for their posts at the Crow Club, a sleepless night on the building's terrace. But the moment they really realized, admitted, actually, having feelings for each other was when they realized that they needed each other.

For Y/N, their relationship was experienced at two peaks: the calm and comfort of knowing that they both loved each other and the turbulence and insecurity when dealing with Kaz's traumas. Y/N saw the way Jesper and Wylan, Nina and Matthias' relationship bothered Kaz, he wanted to be able to offer Y/N the same level of intimacy.

And that's why they've fought countless times. Silent wars where Kaz reluctantly tried to break up and Y/N pretended not to hear her boyfriend's stupid arguments. When Kaz tried to get away from her in vain, because Y/N always found a way to bother his heart with smiles, jokes and words of affection.

Kaz knew Y/N was patient. She was the best in his world. But, he knew that he needed to become a better man for her. What kind of relationship is this where he couldn't touch her without almost throwing up, fainting?

Y/N realized, just like she notices all the little things that make Kaz human, that he was trying to be more physical. Sometimes he would touch her hand gently, his fingertips gliding across her palm as if she were made of the most fragile glass. Other times he sat next to her on the window sill, too close that she felt his heat. Or when he suddenly decided that they would share the room, the same bed.

That was a difficult moment: Kaz gradually tried to stay close to her, until finally he managed to rest his arm on her throughout the night. But, all of this was done when he was fully dressed. Long-sleeved shirt, thick pants.

The kisses? Impossible. These took longer to go from merely touching lips to touching tongues. Let alone get lost in the moment. A kiss from Y/N would leave Kaz feverish, on the precipice between fainting from anxiety or lust. Sometimes he didn't even know if his trembling hands were a good or bad thing.

But it's over. Kaz, when properly warned, could get carried away. Y/N and Kaz occasionally had make-out sessions, one that left them panting, sweaty and craving for more. Wishing they were like all the other normal people, the ones they heard sighing in the dark alleys when they came back late at night from some mission. Those who occasionally locked themselves in the Crow Club bathroom and came out with a flushed face.

Would today be anything different? Y/N wondered as she went up to her room. Earlier, when she was still in stock at the Crow Club, Kaz spent time with her keeping her company while she counted the products. Y/N could tell he was a little nervous, but she didn't pressure him into saying anything.

So, he finally said a curt "Meet me in the bedroom later" and left for the office before Y/N could ask anything. And here she was, walking into the room and finding the sight of a Kaz Brekker sitting by the window, his eyes vacant into the night.

"Hey, how are you? Where's everyone?" Y/N said, taking off her coat and placing it on the trunk at the foot of the bed. When she arrived at Slat she noticed that it was strangely empty, even for a festival the house always had one or two people in the common rooms.

"Out" muttered Kaz "I gave them the night off." Then he finally looked at Y/N and there was something strange, it was as if he had never seen her in his life, as if he didn't know how to approach her.

"Cool… But, what happened to you? Did you want to tell me something?" Y/N said, approaching him slowly. Kaz sighed and held out his arms, an invitation for her to touch him, to hug him.

Y/N smiled, a gesture mirrored by Kaz, before surrendering to her arms. She was a little shorter than him, barely reaching her shoulders, the perfect height to fit in. Kaz placed a small kiss above her ear, a kiss that ended up trailing to her temple, her cheek, her jaw, the corners of her lips.

And then the famine came. The desire for more, much more. Kaz kissed Y/N's lips, a warm touch. Her hands, which had been clasped behind Kaz's back, moved up to his arms.

And then Kaz's tongue touched Y/N's parted lips strongly, a request, a promise. His tongue was everywhere: first sliding tentatively across her lips, then massaging, then sucking. It was so much more than they'd tried before, Y/N thought, as he nibbled on her bottom lip, pulling her closer into his arms, squeezing as if to make sure she was real.

Y/N didn't need to think much, she didn't want to stop and ask Kaz if everything was okay because, a second later, she felt one of his hands on her ass, groping. They had too many clothes on. Kaz wore a dark, velvety green vest over a white shirt with long sleeves buttoned over the wrist. The pants were black and made of thick material, the ones he usually wears in the invention. Y/N was already wearing a long blouse, the pants she wore were masculine enough to not receive more than two glances from Crow Club customers. But now, she wished there weren't so many layers between them, that the cloths would disappear.

Y/N's hands came up to Kaz's face with a caress, she wanted more than anything to slide her fingers through his hair… so she did, and he allowed it. His kisses were making her dizzy, fervent.

"Kaz," she whispered as he occupied his lips with a new target, her neck. The hands on her ass tensing in search of more, more closeness. "Slow down, Kaz," she protested.

Kaz listened and then stopped, looked at her with dark eyes, his face flushed and his lips red… lips that Y/N would never get tired of kissing. "I want you" he said "I want you to kiss me until you're sick of it, I want everything… more"

Y/N's heart lost a beat and then pulsed quickly. That was the kind of thing he said in her delirium, when she dreamed and woke up wishing she could just embrace the man who slept next to her. What else could she do upon hearing this request? She kissed him like she had never kissed him before, her fingers threading through his hair, down his neck, to his face.

A sloppy kiss because they've never done it before. Hands roaming each other's bodies more than they dared before. Kaz was all hands. Tightly squeezing her ass or reaching up to her waist, pulling her closer.

Then, one of Kaz's hands went to Y/N's hair, deftly removing the ribbon that held the curls in a messy braid, while his other hand went down to her right thigh, lifting her leg slightly so that he could get closer... Saints, she wanted to be able to melt and merge with Kaz.

Y/N could barely breathe between the kisses, Kaz's lips were all she wanted, she wanted them all over her body, for him to mark her. Then he pulled her towards the bed, bumping into the table, tripping over the carpet and laughing a little at his clumsiness.

She sat on the bed and looked at Kaz, her face flushed and a slight smile on her face. The street light that entered the room bathed him in a warm, golden light, Kaz had never seemed more alive than at that moment. He was the most beautiful person Y/N had ever seen in her life. He looked so carefree as he rested one of his knees between Y/N's legs, his hand tenderly caressing her face and brushing away stray strands of hair from the front of her forehead.

"You're so beautiful", Kaz murmured, his lips resting a soft peck on the tip of Y/N's nose.

"I can say the same", said Y/N. Pulling him to the middle of the bed so he was on top of her. "There are so many beautiful things I can tell you now. But none of them compare to you, Kaz Rietveld."

She kissed his cheek, then his nose, his chin, his mouth. Her hand, the one that wasn't busy cupping Kaz's face, slid down his back, feeling the muscles beneath his clothes tense slightly, then, at the base of his spine, she pushed him slowly until their body was pressed together. Too many clothes, Y/N thought.

Kaz must have had the same thought, because he deftly slipped his fingers between the top buttons of Y/N's blouse. Beneath it there was nothing but skin flushed with desire.

Well, they've seen a bit of each other's nudity over the years they've shared a room, but it's never been this explicit. So raw. Kaz's eyes slid over Y/N's breasts, his fingers following his gaze to her nipples, touching tentatively, seeing how far they could both go. When her only response was a sigh of pleasure, Kaz opened the rest of her blouse and clumsily pulled the fabric from her body.

Mouths, hands, sighs, moans. Kaz offered and received caresses as he rested his mouth on Y/N's nipples, his warm tongue sliding, sucking and nibbling mercilessly. Y/N's hands didn't know where to hold on in the material world, they were in his hair, keeping him as close as possible, on his shoulders, on his arms, pulling him for more.

Kaz realized that his favorite sound was her moans. It was a sound that reverberated through his body like an overwhelming storm that made his heart palpitate heavily, that made his brain melt and that somehow, caused a pleasant pressure to rest in his groin.

Y/N was lost, she didn't know she was so sensitive there. Or maybe this is just Kaz's effect, his talent. When his mouth was on her nipples everything was perfect and horrible, she felt out of control, completely at Kaz's mercy.

When he stopped kissing her was the moment she hated him, but when he looked at her with a shy look on her face, Y/N loved him more than anything. What happened? Y/N wanted to ask, but there was no time, Kaz let out a low, guttural sound when he moved over Y/N, she felt, through all the layers of clothes that still separated them, Kaz's cock pressed against her.

A shiver ran up her spine. Y/N kissed him hard, tongue lashing over Kaz's lips, her nails scratching his arms, pulling him, feeling him. A wave of pleasure coursed through her body as her sensitive nipples came into contact with the raised embroidery of Kaz's vest. She opened her legs wider to accommodate him between her and Kaz's hand went to her ass, pulling her towards his crotch.

Suddenly, Y/N pushed Kaz away. Turning his body so she was on top, she then quickly took off her pants. She's sick of so many clothes.

Kaz was in awe, looking at her body as if it were some kind of miracle, as if some saint was descending from heaven with an offer too good to be true. Or like a demon, leading him to a path of no return. For the first time in his life he felt nothing bad happening, no repulsion, no aversion at the thought of touching someone. He just wanted more from her, wanted to take everything from her, touch her everywhere, but more than anything, he wanted her to touch him.

Their relationship was always smooth, they never talked about sex or about anything other than kisses, but they both wanted the same feeling of fulfillment that all other couples had. So, it was not without shyness that Kaz, completely vulnerable to Y/N, looked at her with pious eyes and pleaded.

"I... I want you to touch me," Kaz admits, while staring up at the ceiling, "There" cheeks reddening in an increasing show of embarrassment.

It was selfish of him to ask that. It was malicious, negligent, narcissistic, asking for pleasure when she was the one who should be adored. But Kaz was never much for bending, he was never pious.

Little did he know that it was what Y/N wanted most.

She smiled and kissed Kaz, her light fingers opening the buttons of his pants, slipping down to his cock. The feeling was very different from what she had imagined, Kaz was warm, soft, firm and… big. Very.

Kaz let out a strangled sound, his hands that rested on her waist fluttered slightly. "Everything is fine?" she asked, the movements of her hand stopped completely, but she didn't remove it.

"Yes," he sighed, closing his eyes in pleasure.

Y/N then moved her hand slightly up and down, gently squeezing the base, sliding the tip of her thumb over the tip of his dick. Feeling the cum spread in his hand. Kaz was discreet, he was trying not to get carried away, she realized, but she could hear the light moans that escaped his lips, she could tell that he was really enjoying it when he tensed his jaw, when he squeezed her ass.

Daring the limits, Y/N lowered Kaz's pants further, finally seeing him completely. It was definitely not what she had imagined. Kaz was very thick, the tip was a dark pink color that glistened with cum and had some prominent veins. She wondered what it would feel like in her mouth.

When Y/N gave Kaz a peck on the crotch, just above the pubic hair line, she looked at him as if asking if she could continue. His eyes were moist, as if it was a difficult task to contain all of his impulses.

“Please,” he begged, one hand caressing Y/N’s cheek. "Please don't stop" he moaned.

She then tried putting just the tip of his dick in her mouth, her tongue testing the taste of his cum, then, tentatively, she saw how much it all fit.

It wasn't much. She didn't have that much experience, she couldn't take his entire dick in her mouth without feeling like she might choke. So, she took turns sucking and licking, from the base to the tip, then, when she saw that he liked it, she held his balls and massaged them lightly. But she never stopped moving her hand in a tempting gesture.

Kaz was getting carried away. When he became very impatient with Y/n's slow movements he begged to be rough, when he felt her tongue passing over the tip, sucking, and looking at him, he let the moans, previously low, sound at ease. Damn anyone who listens.

Please, please, please, he said. Hip thrusting, his dick entering her mouth even more. Beg, Y/N wanted to say, beg for more and maybe I'll let you cum, fill my mouth with it, let you see how you ruin me.

So, when she felt his hip thrusts become more sloppy, when his moans were lost between his panting, Y/N sucked hard on Kaz's cock and felt, in the back of her throat, his cum pooling on her tongue, sliding down her chin.

When his orgasm ended, he was panting and feverish, his hair messy, beads of sweat sliding down his forehead, his cheeks pink. He was a beautiful sight. He was a beautiful mess.

As for Y/N, she was strangely shy under Kaz's longing gaze, feeling cum slide down her chin and drip onto her breasts. "Beautiful" Kaz said, standing up and placing a sloppy kiss on her lips, his tempting tongue lashing into her mouth, both of them tasting him.

"All mine", he whispered, as he pulled her to saddle him. Y/N felt his dick brush against her pussy. "And I want all of you. I want you to ruin me, ruin us."

[wylanhendricksnotebook]

Six of Crows cooking headcanons:

Kaz: Kaz knows a few basics but he’s generally not that good of a cook. He was pretty young when his parents died and he didn’t really get to learn to cook in the Barrel for obvious reasons. He mostly relied on stealing food until he was able to actually buy it so he kinda just never learned to cook for himself.

Inej: One of 2 Crows who can cook. She definitely learned a bunch of recipes from her family from the time she was really little and cooking helps her feel closer to her family when she’s in the Barrel and misses them.

Jesper: I like to believe he’s the best cook of the Crows. He grew up in the kitchen with his mom and picked stuff up from her, and after she died he cooked for Colm most nights. (I know it mentions him cooking poorly the night his mom died but I think that has more to do with him grieving than his actual ability to cook). He does all the cooking for him and Wylan.

Wylan: This boy cannot cook. He grew up in a mansion and had chefs cooking for him. I think Marya probably could cook because the Kerch value work, but Van Eck didn’t want her to teach Wylan. He picks up a little bit post CK when he’s living with Jesper and Marya is back home, but he definitely couldn’t cook growing up.

Matthias: Matthias probably knows how to cook over a fire or something from being a Druskelle, but not much about cooking in an actual kitchen or anything. I get the impression that Fjierden men don’t often know how to do housework type stuff like cooking or sewing, so he just wasn’t raised to know how to cook. He definitely enrolls him and Nina in a couple’s cooking class somewhere though.

Nina: Canonically she cannot cook, I think there’s a few reasons behind it. First of all, similarly to Wylan, she grew up having people cook for her and wasn’t really in the kitchen. She also just strikes me as someone who would get distracted too easily in the kitchen and forget about her food until it’s burning. I also just think she’s got the mindset of, “you do the cooking and I’ll sit on the counter and look pretty,” partially to annoy Matthias and partially because she’s just not that interested in cooking.

Kuwei: He didn’t learn to cook much growing up and isn’t particularly interested in it, but he pretends he is when Jesper is cooking so that he’s got an excuse to follow him around. Jesper finds it annoying but puts him to work chopping things up, (he cut off his finger once and Nina had to fix it), and Wylan absolutely hates it.

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

The Phoenix and the Crow

part thirty-nine

pairing: kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: it's pretty angsty, this one...

el's thoughts: i hope yall love this as much as i dooo

masterlist

They’d been blessed with a strong wind. Y/N felt it ripple through her hair that Inej took out of its matted braid. The strength of the breeze was a telltale sign of a storm coming.

As soon as they were on deck, Inej turned to Kuwei.

“How long does she have?”

Kuwei had some Kerch, but Y/N had to translate in places. She did it distractedly, her glittering eyes roving over everyone and everything. Nina stepped in to help translate when the Inferni mentally zoned out every few words.

“The high will last one hour, maybe two. It depends how long it takes her body to process a dose of that size.”

“Why can’t she purge it from her body? Couldn’t Nina help her?” Wylan asked, turning to the Heartrender almost desperately.

“It doesn’t work,” said Kuwei. “Even if she could overcome the craving for long enough to start purging it from her body, she’ll lose the ability to push the parem from her system before it’s all gone. You’d need another Corporalnik using parem to accomplish it.”

“What will it do to her?” asked Jesper.

“You’ve seen for yourself,” Nina said bitterly. “We know what’s going to happen.”

Kaz crossed his arms and finally spoke from where he stood beside Y/N. “How will it start?”

“Body aches, chills, no worse than a mild illness,” Kuwei explained.

“Then a kind of hypersensitivity, followed by tremors, and the craving.”

“Do you have more parem?” Matthias asked.

“Yes.”

“Enough to get her back to Ketterdam?” Kaz followed up.

“I won’t take more,” Y/N protested, hooded eyes flickering up to look at Kaz in refusal.

“I have enough to keep you comfortable,” Kuwei said. “But if you take a second dose, there is no hope at all.” He looked to Kaz. “This is her one chance. It’s possible her body will purge enough of it naturally that the addiction won’t set in.”

“And if it does?”

Kuwei held out his hands, part shrug, part apology. “Without a ready supply of the drug, she’ll go mad. With it, her body will simply wear itself out. Do you know the word parem? It’s the name my father gave to the drug. It means ‘without pity’.”

When Nina finished translating, there was a long pause.

“I don’t want to hear any more please,” Y/N said breathlessly. “None of it will change what’s coming.”

She drifted away toward the prow. Kaz watched her go with an aching heart.

Inej sought out Rotty and got him to dig up the wool coats they left behind in favor of their cold weather gear when they’d landed on the northern shore. She found Y/N near the prow, gazing out at the sea.

“One hour, maybe two,” Y/N said without turning.

Inej halted in shock. “You heard me approach?”

“Don’t worry. It wasn’t those silent feet that gave you away. I can feel your body heat and the warmth from your breath.”

“And you knew it was me?”

“Everyone feels so different. I never realized that before… I was barely able to focus on one person’s heat directly.”

Inej joined her at the rail and handed over Y/N’s coat. The Grisha put it on, though the cold didn’t seem to be bothering her. Above them, the stars shone brightly between silver-seeded drifts of cloud.

Y/N was ready for dawn, ready for this long night to be over, and the journey, too. She was surprised to find she was eager to see Ketterdam again. She wanted a mug of too-sweet coffee while she sat in Kaz’s window seat as he worked at his desk. She wanted to hear the rain on the rooftops while she lay in her warm bed at the Slat. There were adventures to come, but they would have to wait until she’d had a hot bath and a clear mind once again.

Y/N buried her face in her coat’s woolen collar and said, “I wish you could feel what I feel. The warmth from everybody on the ship… was overwhelming at first but now it’s comforting. I can pinpoint where everyone is and just knowing that they’re all safe…”

“I can only imagine,” Inej hummed. “I only hope it brings you a sense of peace.”

“I don’t really deserve peace, don’t you think?” Y/N chuckled coarsely. “I nearly burned down a city, and killed more people, and all I did was complete my assignment as a Ravkan soldier. The Phoenix.”

“That’s a horrendous way to look at this. Don’t do that to yourself.” She scolded the Inferni softly. “You’re so much more than a soldier anyway. You’re a friend to all of us here. You’re a Crow from the Barrel. And I think Kaz sees you as more than another soldier or a friend.”

Y/N felt her cheeks warm and desperately avoided eye contact with the girl beside her. She knew the Crows weren’t blind to what was going on between herself and Kaz, but no one has had time to address the growing bond. She hasn’t even had the time to mentally process what she was feeling. For the first time in her life, she just let her feelings bloom, but now she had to face the facts and think through it all. It was fun to live in a bubble where it was just the two of them in all these life threatening, world changing events where there feelings had no real effect on their lives.

‘What if their feelings were solely caused by the trauma they were forced to face together?’

“I feel the need to tell you that…” Inej let out a breath. “Kaz isn’t one to deal with feelings and things of the like. But with you- You changed him so much. For the better. I’ve seen it already. You communicate with each other between glances and he’s opened up to you in a way I’ve never seen from him. I would even go as far as to say he loves you.”

Y/N’s wide eyes snapped up to look at Inej.

“I wouldn’t lie to you. I’ve never seen him like this in all the years I’ve known him. Y/N you mean so much to him, more than you think you do. Nina even mentioned how his heart beats faster when you’re around but it’s also more sure of itself. You can’t fake that.”

“I…”

“Just think through it. If you need anything, come find us.” Inej gave her the sweetest smile before she turned on her heel and walked back to the others. But as she walked away, Y/N saw she had another reason to depart. Kaz was standing in the shadows near the mast. He had a heavy coat on and was leaning on his crow’s head cane—he looked almost like himself again.

Kaz murmured a few words to Inej causing her to lean back in surprise. Y/N couldn’t make out the rest of what they said, but she could tell the exchange was slightly tense before the Suli girl let her shoulder slouch for a split second as she made her descent below deck.

“What did you say to Inej?” Y/N asked when he joined her at the rail. She tried to ignore the beginnings of a pounding headache.

“I have a job I need Nina to preform.”

Y/N hummed tiredly as they stood together, gazing out at the waved, silence stretching between them.

“We’re alive,” he said at last.

“Some of us more than others but it seems you prayed to the right god.”

“Or traveled with the right people.”

Y/N shrugged. “Kaz Brekker, are you going soft?” He said nothing and she had to smile. “No sharp retort?”

He ran his gloved thumb over the rail. “No.”

“What’s your plan when we get back?”

“When we’re a few miles out, Rotty and I will row to the harbor in the longboat. We’ll find a runner to get word to Van Eck and make the exchange on Vellgeluk.”

Y/N scrunched her nose as she leaned forward to rest her chin in her palm. The island was popular with slavers and smugglers. “The Council’s choice of yours?”

“Van Eck suggested it.”

Y/N frowned, her eyebrows furrowed in thought as she tried to keep her mind active and awear as she spoke with him. She was proud that she remembered the right island when writing her letter to Nikolai before they made it to the Ice Court. ‘Why would the mercher make a call like this?’ “Why does a mercher know about Vellgeluk?”

“Trade is trade. Maybe Van Eck isn’t quite the upstanding merch he seems.”

They were silent for a while. Finally, she said, “I want to own horses again.”

Kaz’s brows furrowed, and he cast her a surprised glance. “Really? Why?”

“I used to ride with my father when I was young. And during my time at the Little Palace, there was always a horse for me to take out. It was my only way of feeling free, and I’ve grown to miss it. Ravkans breed the best riding horses.”

Kaz hummed and looked back out to the stars. Y/N smiled softly at the side of his face and leaned slightly closer to him, her limbs growing heavy. “But we’ll go home first.”

“We will go to Ravka?” He smiled down at her. A smile that she’s noticed was reserved for her and her alone.

A please flush warmed her cheeks. “No,” she chuckled, her speech slightly slurred now. “We will go to Ketterdam. Home first.”

“You should go rest. The drug will begin taking it’s toll on you.”

Y/N shook her head. “I would really rather not be alone right now.” She watched the gears in his head turn as he thought for a moment.

He held his hand out to her, “I’ll wait with you.”

“Don’t you have plans to prepare for and see through?”

“I can spare a few moments.”

She smiled and took his hand slowly, giving him the chance to pull away if he wanted to but he didn’t move. Together, they walked below deck to the large room Kaz had taken ownership of. He brought her to the bed and let her lay down as he pulled the desk chair to the bedside.

Y/N let out a quiet moan as her muscles ached and her bones creaked as she tried to get comfortable under the rough sheets. Her body felt a sudden chill but she could still feel the different body heats through out the ship. Her nose scrunched in discomfort for a short moment before she looked up at Kaz who remained by her side.

No words were exchanged as they stayed in each other’s presence. Y/N silently stared up at Kaz with glossy eyes, admiring the way the light from the oil lamp flickered across his face. Her eyes began to burn and her chest grew heavy.

Kaz turned to her as the sound of her breathing grew labored. An unsettling pit formed in the depths of his stomach, bracing himself for the after-effects of the drug to kick in. “Should I go get Nina or Kuwei?”

He got no response only quiet groans so he decided to just stay at her side.

When the tremors began, she begged him to leave.

“I don’t want you to see me like this,” she said, trying to roll on her side.

He brushed the damp hair from her brow with his gloved hand. He hissed quietly as her skin burned him through the leather fabric. “How bad is it.”

“Bad.” But she knew it would only get worse.

“Do you want to try the jurda?” Kuwei had suggested that small doses of regular jurda might help Y/N get through the day.

She shook her head. “I want… I want— Saints, why is it so hot in here?” Then, despite the pain, she tried to sit up as Kaz walked to push open the small circular window. “Don’t give me another dose. Whatever I say, Kaz, no matter how much I beg. I don’t want to be like them, like those Grisha back there.”

Kaz stayed silent for a long minute. “Y/N… Kuwei said the withdrawl could kill you. I won’t let you die.”

She flopped back down, and her whole body rebelled. Her clothes felt like crushed glass against her burning skin. “I would have killed every one of the druskelle.”

“We all carry our sins, Y/N. I need you to live so I can atone for mine.”

“You can do that without me, you know.”

He reached to her open palm and placed his atop of her’s. “I don’t want to.”

“Kaz,” she said, turning their hands over so she can trace the creases of the black fabric. It hurt. Touching his gloved hand burned her fingertips, but she still did it. She might not ever get to again. “I am not sorry.”

He took her hand and laced their fingers gently. She winced, but when he tried to pull away, she clutched him tighter.

“Stay,” she panted. Tears leaked from her eyes. “Stay till the end.”

“And after,” he said.

“I just want to feel safe again. I want to go home.”

“Then I’ll take you there. We’ll set fire to hay bails in the country side just for fun.”

Y/N looked into his eyes with longing. Longing fora normal life, longing for her pain to go away and longing for him. “Kaz…” Her throat was so raw it hurt to speak anymore. “My Crow.” She smiled tiredly anyway.

Kaz didn’t let his eyes stray from her face as her eyes began to close out of pure exhaustion.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Y/N could barely make out Kaz’s facial features through her hooded eyes. She watched his eyes squeeze shut and noticed his breathing become shallow as he placed her hand down on the bed beside her.

“My Saint, don’t go.”

taglist: @katherinereid @littlecat21 @jahayla-parker @maliciousbrekker @brekkershadowsinger @brekkers-desigirl @clunaes @wonderland2425 @bookloverfilmoholic @karensirkobabes @bookworm-center @el-de-phi @so-get-this-sammy @skittleabyss @crispy-croke @cometsghost @auttumnsayshi

[jackwolfes]

wytthias

honestly a delightful ask to get without context 😂 i don't know if i'm ever going to do anything with this but while we're thinking about wytthias:

Each step Wylan takes sees him lose a little more confidence.

It's only one night, he repeats to himself, for what might be the hundredth time. It is missing the nonchalant cadence he managed to cling to when he said it in the dreary little front room of this tired inn moments ago.

You're both adults, and he's a soldier. He's probably done this thousands of times.

That image, unsurprisingly, is not particularly helpful. Suddenly the only thing Wylan can picture in his head is Matthias Helvar and a dozen other ruggedly handsome, perfectly sculpted Fjerdans lying side by side in plush beds with dim lighting and tight trousers. They all miraculously seem to be missing their shirts — perhaps a wartime ration?

Matthias comes to such an abrupt stop that Wylan bumps into his back, jerked back to awareness of his surroundings violently and unhappily.

When Matthias turns to look at him there is a sternly displeased look in his eye that makes Wylan jerk to attention, as if he too is a soldier — or trying to be one.

He wouldn't be very good at it. Do the Drüskelle do corporal punishment?

Stop thinking, stop thinking, stop thinking.

Wylan has always had an overactive imagination, and now it is not helping him one bit. He blames Jesper, even though Jesper is not here to be at fault, because he can't stop thinking about the way he'd leant over in their carriage on the way through the Kerch countryside this morning and whispered that taunt about Wylan's wandering eyes and Matthias' tight trousers.

“Wylan,” a stern voice says, frustrated to the point of being an obvious repetition. He jerks, looking up at Matthias’ face. “The heat is being lost with the open door.”

“Right,” Wylan mutters. “Um. Sorry.”

He ducks through the door awkwardly and shuts it behind him, then turns to appraise what they're working with.

Wylan did know there would only be one bed, but this feels unlucky even for him.

[sixofcrowdaydreams]

I cannot stop thinking about the implications of the Kerch alphabet on canon. I know I’m the only person who cares, but hear me out!

1. The show itself made a mistake with its own made-up language.

2. Wylan is a foreign name or he’s a Tragedeigh child.

Explanation below:

Daddy

Right before Jesper and Wylan meet Alby Rollins, Jesper finds a child's drawing labelled “Daddy.” In Kerch the word uses 3 distinct D letters, one of which is attached to the vowel. And bizarrely at the end of the word, the letter J/Y. The English translation is literally labelled beneath it so we know exactly what it says.

But according to the two alphabet charts here, there is no Y vowel in the Kerch language. The Y is given a J sound, (as in Jan Van Eck pronounced as Yan Van Eck) which makes sense given the Dutch influence on Ketterdam.

So Alby’s drawing says, “Daddya.” Daddy in Dutch is Papa, according to my nifty translation app. Where does Daddya come from? Either Daddya is a Kaelish pronunciation given the Rollins' Kaelish heritage despite it being spelled in Kerch, or the show made a mistake.

I think the J/Y letter may have been used to keep the same number of letters to make the connection between Kerch Daddy and English Daddy the same for the audience to quickly make the connection.

However, in Kerch the word Daddy should be spelled as “Daddee” with the hard E vowel attached to the last D consonant.

(When ranting about this to my husband, he listened to this entire spiel, then asked quite confused, “Who’s calling who Daddy in this show? That sounds more like a fanfic thing rather than something from canon...” 🤣 Saints, I love that man.)

2. Now let’s talk about Wylan’s name because it fascinates me.

There is no hard I vowel in the Kerch language. It just doesn’t exist. There is a hard A, E, and O, but no hard I. The name Wylan (pronounced Why-lan) cannot be written in Kerch.

Matthias’s name cannot be spelled in Kerch either. But that’s ok because he’s not from Kerch. He’s from Fjerda, where presumably, he can spell his name in his native language. Because it would be very silly to give someone a name that is unpronounceable in their native linguistic system. Right?!?

Except Wylan is as Kerch as Kerch gets. His family is old money with strong roots to the country and culture.

So what happened?

Maybe the name Wylan comes from one of the other cultures, Fjerdian or Kaelish. We don’t know much about Marya Hendricks/Van Eck and her family/cultural roots, but we do know that book Wylan inherited her red hair. So maybe somewhere in her family tree there’s Kaelish ancestry. Or she just really liked a Kaelish or Fjerdian name enough to give it to her son.

This explanation makes the most sense, but at the same time, I can’t imagine Jan Van Eck, a man so concerned with family legacy, not choosing a Kerch name for his oh-so-important heir.

So consider this alternative explanation: Jan Van Eck just sucks as a human being and gave his son a Tragedeigh name. AKA a name that is spelled and or pronounced nonsensically enough it makes you want to pat the kid on the back and legally help them change their name to something less awful.

For the record, I think Wylan is a lovely name. But it doesn't make sense as a Kerch name given how it uses sounds/letters not in the language.

Wylan’s name could still be pronounced as Why-lan and still written as Way-lan in Kerch. Or Will-lan, or even Wee-lan. We don’t know because we didn’t get to see it in show. There’s no hard I and some vowel needs to be used!

So Wylan was that kid who spent his entire life correcting everyone on how to say his name. Because his name was spelled one way but pronounced another. It’s simultaneously hilarious and tragic. The idea that his family was so wealthy that they gave him a special, nonsensical rich person name. And because Wylan can’t read he has no way of knowing why everyone says his name wrong if they see it written first. Ghezen, he'd be exhausted correcting everyone who met him.

Absolutely headcanoning that Jan Van Eck tried yet another way to screw Wylan by giving him a ridiculous name that can't even be written in Kerch.

[barrel-crow-n]

Kaz being horrible to Kuwei in chapter 3 (with Jesper occasionally acting as a Kaz-translator + a jab at Matthias because apparently Kaz can't stop himself) <3

"What did I tell you?" Kaz growled, pointing his cane at him.

"My Kerch isn't very good," protested Kuwei.

"Don't run games on me, kid. It's good enough. Stay in the tomb."

Kuwei hung his head. "Stay in the tomb," he repeated, glumly.

"Well?" Jesper prodded.

"I have other interests," Kuwei replied.

Kaz's black gaze pinned Kuwei like the tip of a dagger. "I suggest rethinking your priorities."

Jesper gave Kuwei another nudge. "That's Kaz's way of saying, 'Help Wylan or I'll seal you up in one of these tombs and see how that suits your interests.'"

"I would prefer to go to Ravka," he repeated more firmly. Kaz's flat black gaze fastened on Kuwei and held. Kuwei squirmed nervously. "Why is he looking at me this way?"

"Kaz is wondering if he should keep you alive," said Jesper. "Terrible for the nerves. I recommend deep breathing. Maybe a tonic."

"Jesper, stop," said Wylan.

"Both of you need to relax." Jesper patted Kuwei's hand. "We're not going to let him put you in the ground."

Kaz raised a brow. "Let's not make any promises just yet."

"Come on, Kaz. We didn't go to all that trouble to save Kuwei just to make him worm food."

There was a long, tense pause, then Kaz ran a gloved thumb over the crease of his trousers and said, "Nina, love, translate for me? I want to make sure Kuwei and I understand each other."

"Kaz-" she said warningly.

Kaz shifted forward and rested his hands on his knees, a kind older brother offering some friendly advice. "I think it's important that you understand the change in your circumstances. Van Eck knows the first place you'd go for sanctuary would be Ravka, so any ship bound for its shores is going to be searched top to bottom. The only Tailors powerful enough to make you look like someone else are in Ravka, unless Nina wants to take another dose of parem."

Matthias growled.

"Which is unlikely," Kaz conceded. "Now, I assume you don't want me to cart you back to Fjerda or the Shu Han?"

It was clear that Nina had finished the translation when Kuwei yelped, "No!"

"The your choices are Novyi Zem and the Southern Colonies, but the Kerch presence in the colonies is far lower. Also, the weather is better, if you're partial to that kind of thing. You are a stolen painting, Kuwei. Too recognisable to sell on the open market, too valuable to leave lying around. You are worthless to me."

"I'm not translating that," Nina snapped.

"Then translate this: My sole concern is keeping you away from Jan Van Eck, and if you want me to start exploring more definite options, a bullet is a lot cheaper than putting you on a ship to the Southern Colonies."

Nina did translate, though haltingly.

Kuwei responded in Shu. Nina hesitated. "He says you're cruel."

"I'm pragmatic. If I were cruel, I'd give him a eulogy instead of a conversation. So, Kuwei, you'll go to the Southern Colonies, and when the heat has died down, you can find your way to Ravka or Matthias' grandmother's house for all I care."

"Leave my grandmother out of this," Matthias said.

Nina translated, and at last, Kuwei gave a stiff nod.

[hotpinkmurex]

WIP Wednesday (on a Wednesday!)

I did this. I chose to make Kaz Brekker an actual character in my historical Wesper romantasy. So now, as an homage to Crooked Kingdom, I have to write him scheming up a scheme probably I won't even understand...

"Pekka Rollins?!" cried Jesper, as disbelief at what he was hearing made him forget momentarily the six foot five Fjerdan barrelling towards him and wielding a sword. Too late Jesper side-stepped. Steel glanced his cheek. The blade sliced the air. Momentum carried Matthias's feet forward, and the not-inconsiderable force he had put behind his weapon got buried in a pine tree with a shrill-sounding 'thunk'. Pekka Rollins engaged to Lord Wylan! It was too ridiculous. Kaz was mistaken. His source was feeding him lies. Kaz must be wrong. Though he never had been before... "Mind your stance," came a flat voice across the clearing to where Jesper stood shaking. Kaz was sitting stately on a felled tree, and barely looked up from the sheaf of paper he held in his hand. At least Matthias had assured himself Jesper suffered no real injury, before bracing his foot against a boulder and trying to retrieve his broadsword from its wooden sheath. "You must carry your weight evenly, Jesper," Kaz continued, with a spectacular air of indifference, "and stop leaning so hard on your left foot. You forget all that we've practiced these last weeks. Control the things you can and do not allow yourself to become distracted." Distracted... That was too much for Jesper. How had Kaz expected him to react? Pekka Rollins name should not be uttered in the same breath as Lord Wylan's. His Wylan. Pekka Rollins was a criminal - that he was still allowed walk free in Kerch did not change that. Out of all of them it was Kaz alone who had borne the full brunt of Pekka Rollins actions. Jesper turned towards him, with narrowed eyes and a cheek still smarting, wondering how Kaz could sit there, with his bad leg stretched out before him, and speak of Rollins so coldly. Jesper had only heard stories of Rollins: A Kaelish skin trader, who had escaped his grandfather's justice and fled The Wandering Isle. Matthias knew him as a war profiteer, who had used Kerch neutrality to sell to both sides. To the detriment of those operating the gun carriages, the black powder he supplied had a tendency to explode outwards. Rollins name had become notorious. But Kaz had actually met the man. Pekka Rollins was the swindler Jordie Rietveld had trusted to turn his quietly growing savings into exponential wealth. Rollins had sold sovereign bonds, and though Prince Dietmar's royal seal was there on each deed of payment, like a cherry squashed between the parchment, when the time came to draw down dividends, the officer of the treasury had never heard of the scheme. Kaz's schooling ended. He travelled to Ravka to become a mercenary. And when lack of funds prevented him from seeking the help of a healer for the foot long gash dealt him by the losing party in a duel, the infection spread and settled resolutely in his bones. Usually when Kaz spoke of Rollins it was with blood between his teeth. This calculated calm was eerie. Jesper would know the meaning of it. "Is it any wonder I lost focus, Kaz? Does this information seem to you at all... peculiar? The Duke of Belendt's son was set to marry a common criminal? This is Pekka Rollins we are speaking of! Why are you not more distracted?" "I am wondering at that too, Rietveld," called out the voice of Matthias. The stinging scent of pine sap filled the air, telling Jesper that Matthias had recovered his weapon. He took his place at Jesper's side looking as suspicious as Jesper felt. "Usually at this point you would be setting fire to something." Kaz's lip curled. "And who says that I am not?"

Soft tagging @dreamtigress in return for many many tags... :)

[polycrowtruther]

Polycrow kids in order of when they joined the family:

Sihobian (currently 9) - an Irish/Wandering Isle girl with a very thick irish accent, curly strawberry-blonde hair, and a sassy streak a mile wide. Came into the Crow's lives together on a slaver ship with her older brother Ndulue (currently 11) - a Nigerian/Novyi Zem boy who is mute. Sihobian "speaks" for him (but an adult would call it advocating for him) because they were kept together often during their time in captivity and he trusts that she understands the general gist of what his sign language means. They were adopted when they were 6 and 8 respectively, and by now Jesper has managed to help standardize Ndulue's signing to a blend of Kerch and Zemeni (allowing him to communicate for himself more effectively with other people) and Nina and Wylan have become almost fluent at it as well. Kaz, Inej, and Matthias can understand enough to communicate with Ndulue and understand his needs/wants/when he is expressing his emotions, but they do not have the same fluency yet that Nina, Jesper, and Wylan have.

Ndulue has a gifted ear for music, and loves to read with his Omma in his spare time - if he's not already in the music room playing the piano with his Dad. Sihobian loves running wild, and is starting gymnastics lessons with Inej that she is surprisingly already excelling at.

Once adopting them officially, Inej found out she was pregnant with their first child which she suggests they name Neyah (in honor of Sankta Neyar). She is 3 by the time of the fic. She takes the most inheritance from Jesper and Inej, though she has Wylan's freckles. She loves it when Matthias carries her on his shoulders.

Then, there is Vivianne (12 by the time of the fic), who was adopted when she was 10. She's a Kerch girl who is very Ethel Cane coded. She's got mousy brown hair and big blue eyes, and she almost always ties her hair back with a fraying red velvet ribbon. She is still getting used to what happiness is like, and often seems taken off guard when she laughs loudly or smiles so hard her cheeks sting. Now that she notices it happens more often she seems to only grow more and more happy, which leads Kaz to believe whatever she was running away from was worse than where she is now, and she (like Wylan) had fled to survive. The Crows are very alert and protective of her for this reason. Nina, Jes, and Wylan are also working with her to understand her talents as an Alkemi, as well. She loves to cook, and Wylan often encourages her to use her Alkemi talents in the kitchen (even though the results are not always edible, to Nina's disappointment).

Then Kaz gets pregnant and had an (+ very traumatic, almost killed him) emergency c-section. Thankfully their baby - named Felix - ends up with only a bit of jaundice an extra week's stay with the Healer, and is otherwise healthy so far. He is one by the time the fic has started, and takes the most after Kaz (although Felix already shows signs of having the Fahey dimple and has the same jewel-like green eyes Nina was born with).

Kaz is 28, and is finally recovering from the pregnancy in earnest. Matthias is 30, Inej is 27, Nina is 28, Wylan is 27, and Jesper is 29.

Inej has recently found out she's pregnant again and is in her second trimester at the time of the fic starting. Her future daughter will have ruddy reddish brown hair and olive skin, and Nina will suggest they name her Marjorie.

To the kiddos: Matthias is called "Big Guy" (long story), Inej is Mum, Nina is Omma, Jesper is Papa, Wylan is Dad, and Kaz is "Boss" (this one was primarily because it made Jesper giggle every time and Kaz is a simp for a Jesper giggle).

[patrocool]

for the ask game: the world's most special boy, Wylan Van Eck

from this post!

1. three facts about them from my personal headcanons

a) whenever kaz sends a letter to the van eck mansion, jesper alnost Always makes a joke that wylan has about as much luck as he does deciphering kaz's handwriting, and it almost always makes wylan smile

b) he asks everyone at some point what their favorite childhood song was and then did his best to learn how to play all of them. he learns a common fjerdan folk song abt wolves for matthias. kaz says that nonsters dont like music and wylan doesnt push it bc he knows it wont help, but tries to do some digging.

c) at some point, wylan realizes that kaz, when hes comfortable and lowers his armor a little, has a very faint country accent. when he plays the songs he learned for all of his friends, he says he just chose a song that he likes for kaz's since kaz apparently doesnt do music, but he plays an old folk song often sang during harvest season on farms in southern kerch. he and kaz dont really acknowledge any significance in the song beyond a moment of Eye Contact after the performance and its enough

2. a reason they suck

[insert joke abt him sucking jesper lmfao]

3. a reason they are great

just a lil guy! can be so petty and like good for him, its very funny

4. a reason I relate to them

i too have the 'Tism

5. (what I consider to be) the top tier otp/ot3 for that character

wesper is so classic for a reason. wylan with kaz and/or matthias is Also very good though

6. five things that never happened to that character that I believe should have happened

a) shoulda punched his dad. just for fun

b) shouldve kissed kuwei to try to make jesper jealous bc it would be funny and petty and wouldve made the whole situation worse probably

c) stab his dad maybe

d) slumber party with nina where they both bitch and be extremely petty abt everything. great bonding experience and very funny. these two's friendship is not highlighted enough, tbh, the potential,,,,

e)

7. five people that character never fell in love with and why

nina, inej, genya, zoya, alina. he gay

[zaritarazi]

i have had such a niche idea based adjacent to this one s1 legends fic i never finished, like VERY loosely adjacent, that is basically the crows are stuck on that damn boat for like, two to three weeks, right? and so basically kerch's premium adhd haver, jesper llewellyn fahey, is like wylan. you can draw, right? perfect. i'm going to force you to help me create, i don't know. like, a map? that is also a game? i will literally jump in for a swim if you don't help me I AM SO FUCKING BORRRRREREEEEEDDDD

so what i'm saying is jesper invents clue. and then makes everyone try to play it. yes, including matthias. he has his handcuffs on. he's fine

like i have a whole idea of how this fic would go, it would be fairly short and dialogue heavy but is that not my lifeblood

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Some randomly assorted six of crows headcanons/thoughts/theories/idk

(feel free to agree/disagree/add your own to the list)

I think this is a pretty popular one but that Baghra survived the Grisha trilogy and was the blind Grisha amplifier being held captive at the Ice Court

Kaz is everything that Van Eck wanted in his child and that’s why he and Wylan bother him so much more than the other Crows (I have a whole essay on Kaz & Wylan parallels if anyone wants to read it)

Matthias’ mother and/or baby sister were Grisha and he didn’t know, and that they were actually killed by Drüskelle during the skirmish and Brum told him it was Infernis as part of his manipulation (this is not mine originally but I’ve seen it a lot so I don’t know who first said it, sorry)

Cornellus Smeet’s wife is brunette

I don’t necessarily think that Alys’ child is Bajan’s, though I have wondered this in the past and wondered what Wylan’s reaction might be if the kid weren’t actually his sibling, but I do think they were in or prepared for a secret relationship and that he would happily help her raise the baby as though it were his own

Mentioned this is a post recently but I think it’s possible that the reason Wylan has so few memories of his mother but such clear memories of being 8, and even younger, and going on all of the trips abroad with his father (Ice Court, Elling, Novyi Zem, Shu oil fields, etc) is because whenever Marya stood up to Van Eck, either in defense of her herself or Wylan, Van Eck would punish her by separating her from Wylan and Wylan was too young to know that was happening

I think that if Van Eck won and Kuwei went back to the Ice Court after Crooked Kingdom that the Kerch would have formed an alliance with the Fjerdans. I think they would have been able to successfully move through Ravka and I think that the Shu Han would have then declared war against them both. I also think that it’s possible Novyi Zem would ally themselves with the Shu and it would lead to a WW1 scale event. I have my reasons for this and I have a fic on ao3 exploring the idea and following the Crows in the potential aftermath (Our Gods Have Abandoned Us), but I also think it would be a really interesting discussion to get going I would love to hear other thoughts on it as well

[arillusionist]

s&b episode trheeeee s2 reaction

why are the intros so cool this season

i need one of them to punch him right now

stop for a second i thought it was gonna be the bathroom scene

i think that scene is in this episode it better be good 🙏🙏

so does nikolai just. not change his face in this. does he just sail around and hope nobody recognizes him?? im sure someone would recognize him

THE PUNCH 🔥🔥🔥

he better not tell alina that kaz snitched on her

is that that one girl nadia or something i forgot her name 💀

im so smart i was right

zoyaaaa i was wondering where she was

did they change her actor or smth? she looks different but tbh so did nadia maybe their makeup js changed idk

funny scene but i have no idea why they're even there what did kaz ask them to do

jespers face oh this is so when he fell in love with wylan

ok THIS is the bathroom scene it has to be

TELL HER THE DAMN REASON

stop the fact that he immediately turns around when she starts removing her vest because she knows that she had to do that in front of men at the menagerie...

SAY IT

ok he didnt say the i can help you thing but he told her!!!!

"then we destroy him" THE WAY SHE SAID IT 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

ik this is a cheap version of the bathroom scene but the tension is still Insane soo

"is there anyone to protect you" "was there no one to protect you" 🥺🥺🥺🥺

THEY'RE SO FUCKIN CLOSE AUGH

"the real one" ITS HERRRR

shes his weakness they make me so insane ☹️☹️☹️

THE EYE CONTACTT and i know you looked at his lips inej

i will actually kill nina

help the look she gave them and then the look she gave inej

"its not what you think" STOP LYING TO YOURSELF??

Time to rewatch the whole thing like 5 times 🙏🙏

the way she said "whats yours" im gonna kms

nina and inejs friendship is so sweet

i love how my reaction to one 3 minute (or whatever) scene was longer than my reaction to the other 25 minutes

"i recommend a cane" no words just. yeah

when hes covered in blood >>>

THE INEJ FIGHT SCENE IS IN THIS EPISODE TOO?? AHH

the hair swingggg

AND THE KNIFE FLICK

this is why inej is the best crow shes literally So fucking cool

"i know all the places too" I LOVE WHEN HER VOICE GOES RASPY

PLEASE INEJ JUST ONE CHANCE 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

she is literally the most badass character in this show

going from the kanej bathroom scene + kaz fight scene + inej fight scene to a darkling scene is literally the biggest downgrade ever

genya and alina reunion pleasee

show malina is literally SO much better oh my god - im halfway through siege and storm and i literally want to kill mal hes literally so possesive

and he still has the audacity to yell at alina??

"its your choice to make" SO MUCH BETTER

...no way that david guy just ran away? 😐

wylan flirting with jesper >>

kaz has no right looking that good when hes literally beaten up

Oh wylan is gonna hate jesper now

is matthias crazy

no making him fight a whole ass canibal is crazy i think wolves would be better

OHH NINAS THERE

the kerch really are heathens

i cant blame her if she attempts to kidnap kaz or whatever hes being very fucking annoying this season (which is very in character ofc but yeah)

stop why did i actually get scared by his scream 💀💀💀

shes probably gonna marry him i think theyre going a different route from the books

this episode Definitely had the best crow scenes so far

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

The Phoenix and the Crow

part nineteen

pairing: kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: neutral

el's thoughts: 19!! my brain isn't understanding haha hope you enjoy!

series masterlist

Y/N made a sound of disgust, her contempt for the Fjerdan clear, and the Zemeni man next to the inferni stopped fidgeting, his mouth falling slightly ajar. Kaz, however, didn’t seem surprised. If anything, he looked pleased.

“I can give you something better,” said Kaz.

Doubt and suspicion swam in Matthias’ eyes. “There is nothing else I want.”

“I can make you druskelle again.”

“Are you a magician, then? A wej sprite who grants wishes? I’m superstitious, not stupid.”

“You can be both, you know, but that’s hardly the point.” Kaz slipped a gloved hand into his dark coat. “Here,” he said. And gave a piece of paper to the inferni. She brought the paper up to his face for him to read. The document was written in Kerch and Fjerdan. Matthias’ eyes scanned over the paper that had statements of a release due in his favor. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What evidence?” 

Kaz leaned back in his chair. “It seems Nina Zenik has recanted her statements. She will face charges of perjury.”

“Perjury? How long will you serve for that, Zenik?”

“Two months,” she said quietly.

“Two months?” Matthias laughed cruelly, his body twitching as if he’d been poisoned.

The others watched him with some concern. 

“Just how crazy is he?” Jesper asked, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his precious revolvers. 

Y/N shrugged. “He’s not what I’d call reliable, but he’s all we’ve got apparently.”

Once Matthias got over his laughing fit he cleared his throat. “She can’t be trusted, you know,” he said to Kaz. “Whatever secrets you hope to gain from Bo Yul-Bayur, she’ll turn them over to Ravka.”

Y/N clenched her fists, but before she could say anything Kaz jumped to the defence. “Let me worry about that, Helvar. You do your part, and the secrets of Yul-Bayur and jurda parem will be in the hands of the people best equipped to make sure they stay rumors.”

Y/N eyed Kaz cautiously as she wondered who he planned on handing the drug and chemist over to. There are things that he has kept in the dark and she knew it would come to sneak up on them later if he didn’t bring it to light. 

After a bit more of going back and forth Matthias finally agreed to Kaz’s terms. 

“We’re going to untie you,” said Kaz. “I hope prison hasn’t robbed you of all your manners or good sense.”

Matthias nodded and Y/N pulled out a knife to cut him free of the ropes that binded him. “I believe you know Nina,” Kaz continued. “The lovely girl freeing you is Y/N L/N, our own personal Ravkan soldier and the best in the trade. Jesper Fahey is our sharpshooter, Zemeni-born but try not to hold it against him, and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel.”

A rag tag group who had taken the world by storm while they helped save it from the darkest of shadows. Now challenged to take on the biggest heist of their lives. None of them entirely prepared for what came next but they all had their motives. Righteous and good-willed or greedy and selfish, they all had one goal and they hoped it’d be strong enough to hold them together.

“Besides, Wylan isn’t just good with the flint and fuss. He’s our insurance.” Kaz spoke while avoiding eye contact with Y/N.

“Against what?” Nina asked.

“Meet Wylan Van Eck,” said Kaz Brekker as the boy’s cheeks flooded crimson. “Jan Van Eck’s son and our guarantee on four million kruge.”

Jesper stared at Wylan. “You’re a Councilman’s kid? I mean that explains everything… Why didn’t you tell me?” His eyes had grown soft and filled with hurt. 

Wylan was red-faced and mortified. Nina looked stunned and irritated. The Fjerdan just seemed confused. Kaz appeared utterly pleased with himself. Y/N glared hard at the side of Dirtyhand’s face.

Wylan’s mouth opened and closed, his throat working. “You knew?” he asked Kaz miserably.

Kaz leaned back in his chair, one knee bent, his bad leg stretched out before him. “Why do you think I’ve been keeping you around?”

“I’m good at demo.”

“You’re passable at demo. You’re excellent at hostage.”

That was cruel, but that was Kaz. And the Barrel was a far rougher teacher than Kaz could ever be. At least this explained why Kaz had been coddling Wylan and brought him on an insanely important job.

The plan in Y/N’s head tilted sideways. Wylan was a hostage. Van Eck was paying Kaz for this heist. He lied to her. Not directly, but he withheld the information. 

The bastard continued to make his point of Wylan not really being fit for this line of work. Jesper sat silently with a dazed look in his eyes while Wylan looked like a kicked puppy. Y/N felt uneasy about the whole situation. 

“Since Wylan has seen the Ice Court with his very own eyes,” Kaz spoke, “he can keep you honest, Helvar.”

The Fjerdan scowled furiously, and Wylan looked a little ill.

“Don’t worry,” Nina said. “The glower isn’t lethal.”

Kaz tapped his cane on the polished wood floor. “Take out your pen and proper paper, Wylan. Let’s put Helvar to work.”

Wylan reached into the satchel that sat between the sharpshooter and himself. He pulled out a slender roll of butcher’s paper followed by a metal case that held an expensive-looking pen and ink set. 

“Start talking,” Kaz said to the Fjerdan. “It’s time to pay the rent.”

Matthias directed his furious gaze at Kaz. Definitely a mighty glower. It was almost fun to watch him pit it against Kaz’s sharklike stare.

Finally, the Fjerdan shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and said, “The concentric circles, like the rings of a tree.” The words came slowly, as if speaking each one was causing him pain.

The merchling and Fjerdan went back and forth on describing the Ice Court, each one fact checking and correcting the other. They explained each level of defence and the coordinating colored protical. Where the prison cells were and where they’d most likely find Bo Yul-Bayur.

“Hringkalla is coming up,” Nina said suddenly.

“Be silent,” Matthias snapped.

“Pray, don’t,” said Kaz.

“Hringkalla. It’s the Day of Listening, when the new druskelle are initiated on the White Island.” Y/N spoke up.

Matthias’ knuckles flexed white. “You have no right to speak of those things. They’re holy.”

“They’re facts. The Fjerdan royals throw a huge party with guests from all over the world, and plenty of the entertainment comesstraight from Ketterdam.”

“Entertainment?” Kaz asked.

“Actors, dancers, a Komedie Brute troupe, and the best talent from the pleasure houses of West Stave.” 

“I thought Fjerdans didn’t go in for that sort of thing,” said Jesper.

Nina’s lips quirked. “You’ve never seen Fjerdan soldiers on the Staves?”

“I meant when they’re at home,” Jesper said.

“It’s the one day a year they all stop acting so miserable and actually let themselves have a good time,” Nina replied. “Besides, “only the druskelle live like monks.”

Matthias and the heartrender kept going back and forth, each picking and poking with their words, trying to get a reaction out of each other. Y/N rolled her eyes at the pair in both annoyance and a teasing manner.

“When does this party take place?” Kaz interrupted.

“It’s seasonal,” Nina said, “on the spring equinox.”

“Two weeks from today.” noted Y/N.

Kaz cocked his head to one side, his eyes focused on something in the distance.

“Scheming face,” Jesper whispered to Y/N.

She nodded. “Definitely.”

Kaz inquired about the White Rose sending any delegations. Nina replied, saying she didn’t know anything.

Kaz leaned back. “What’s the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet?”

“Knife to the throat?” Y/N asked.

“Gun to the back?” said Jesper.

“Poison in his cup?” suggested Nina.

“You’re all horrible,” said Matthias.

Kaz rolled his eyes. “The easiest way to steal a man’s wallet is to tell him you’re going to steal his watch. You take his attention and direct it to where you want it to go.” He continued to explain how Hringkalla will do the job for them. They’ll take advantage of the chaos that is hosting such a large gathering of people. “They can’t be looking everywhere at once.” He started to construct his plan of them sneaking into the prison as criminals. 

“Let me get this straight,” said Jesper. “You want us to let the Fjerdans lock us up in jail. Isn’t that what we’re always trying to avoid?”

“Criminal identities are slippery. It’s one of the perks of being a member of the troublemaking class. They’ll be counting heads at the prison gate, looking at names and crimes, not checking passports or examining embassy seals.”

“Because no one wants to go to pricon,” Jesper said.

Nina rubbed her hands over her wrists, “I don’t want to be locked up in a Fjerdan cell.” Y/N nodded her agreement. 

Kaz flicked his sleeve, and two slender rods of metal appeared between his fingers. They danced over his knuckles then vanished once more. 

“Lockpicks?” Y/N asked.

“You let me take care of the cells,” said Kaz.

“Hit where the mark isn’t looking,” mused the inferni.

“That’s right,” nodded Kaz. “And the Ice Court is like any other mark, one big white pigeon ready for the plucking.”

Anticipation mixed with fear and excitement settled in the room as Y/N looked around at the other crows. 

Matthias folded his huge arms and said, “You have no idea what you’re up against.”

“But you do, Helvar. I want you working on the plan of the Ice Court every minute until we sail. Mo detail is too small or inconsequential. I’ll be checking on you regularly.”

Y/N traced her fingers over the rough sketch Wylan drew out. “It really does look like the rings of a tree.”

“No,” said Kaz. “It looks like a target.”

[anthony-sharma]

Six of Crows Reread - Ch. 15

Chapter 15: Matthias

_

“The thought to bring Nina a cup entered his head, and he crushed it. He didn’t need to tend to her or tell Brekker that she could use relief. He clenched his fingers, looking at the scabbed knuckles. She had seeded such weakness in him.”

He really cannot helo being a decent human being. And no Brum or drüskelle brainwashing could relieve him of his inherent kindness. 

“I don’t know Fjerdan, and we need the details right,” Wylan said. “Helvar should do it.” He drew back when he saw Matthias’ expression. “I’m just doing my job. Stop glaring at me.”

But doesn’t he say later on that he does know Fjerdan and even sings the Fjerdan national anthem or something of the sort? *inserts Opra’s “what is the truth?” meme*

“Part of him wondered if he could simply find a way to separate from the group once they got there, reveal their location, and thereby win his way back into the good graces of his government. Would anyone at the Ice Court even recognise him? He was probably believed to be dead, drowned in the shipwreck that had killed his closest friends and Commander Brum. He had no proof of his true identity. He would be a stranger who had no business in the Ice Court, and by the time he got anyone to listen—

“You’re holding back,” Brekker said, his dark eyes trained on Matthias.

Matthias ignored the shiver that passed through him. Sometimes it was like the demon could read minds. “I’m telling you what I know.””

I don’t remember, now that I think about it, if we got an explanation on how Brum survived the shipwreck. We know Matthias survived because he got hold of a piece of wood from the ship and had Nina’s help to get to shore, but Brum probably did not have that kind of help (unless he forced a Grisha to do it and killed him or her afterwards), so now I’m curious on how he did it. 

On another note, maybe it’s not that Kaz can read minds and more like Matthias just shows all emotions on his face? Just saying...

“Kaz sat up straighter. “Who’s watching Inej?”

“Rotty,” she said. “I’ll go back in a minute. I just needed some air. And don’t feign concern for Inej when you’re planning to send her climbing up six storeys of chimney with only a rope and a prayer.”

“The Wraith can manage it.”

“The Wraith is a sixteen-year-old girl currently lying unconscious on a table. She may not even survive the night.”

“She will,” said Kaz, and something savage flashed in his eyes. Matthias suspected that Brekker would drag the girl back from hell himself if he had to.”

Oooof, that’s rich coming from one of the only people who knows, for a fact, how physically impossible it is for Kaz not to care about Inej. But I totally also get her point that it is such a risky move, taking into account that she’s not okay yet to make such a climb and they don’t know at this point, if she’ll be okay enough to make it. 

Also, Matthias’ assessment of how Kaz would drag her back if he had to is so on point! I feel like half of him would die if Inej did too. 

“Who is Pekka Rollins?” Matthias asked, turning the ridiculous syllables over in his mouth. Kerch names had no dignity to them. He knew that the man was a gang leader and that he lined his pockets with proceeds from the Hellshow. That was bad enough, but Matthias sensed there was more.”

It’s gonna be interesting to see how they’ll handle this considering that in the show Matthias definitely knows who Pekka is. Will he fake to not know who he is? Will he provide them with information that the Crows might not know?

“What she said made sense, but it unnerved him. In Fjerda women didn’t talk this way, didn’t speak of military or strategic matters. But Nina had always been like that.

“We enter from the north as planned,” Kaz said.

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. “Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I’m going to get Wylan’s ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost.”

Brekker ’s lips quirked. “I’ll just hire Matthias’ ghost to kick your ghost’s ass.”

“My ghost won’t associate with your ghost,” Matthias said primly, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.”

I’m curious as to why he liked Nina given that she was everything that he was told to hate and not like in a Fjerdan woman. And even though he later on tried to hate those things in her, he just couldn’t do it. He admired her too much for that. 

Also, they are such children in that last scene. They are discussing how to break into a high security prison, but then talk about beating each other’s ass like it’s nothing, it’s really fascinating seeing how their brains can switch from such serious matters to the most ridiculous topics of conversation. 

Next up...we find out how Inej’s being doing through all of this craziness.

[webslinger-holland]

Hi I absolutely loved heal his heart and saw someone say your request are open so I was wondering if u could write kaz brekker x sick reader just how he would take care of her. I’m sick right now and it’s kicking my arse lmao

Hope nice day :)

Deathly Fever | Kaz Brekker

Warning: mentions of severe illness, mentions of traumatic childhood, mentions of needles and bloodletting

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Over the past few weeks, Kerch had become a victim to a new disease brought from the harbor. It spread rapidly, mainly through air circulation and proximity. Many people speculated that the disease originated from Shu Han as a few cases had been reported from there. Other than the few cases, there was really no proof of where it came from.

People began calling it the 'fragile fever.' This was because the first symptom to show was a high fever and people grew quite frail due to their weakened state. The Shu were working frantically to find some kind of antibiotic that would dissolve the bacterial infection, but they had no success thus far.

The number of casualties was rising rapidly, reporting nearly fifty deaths each day. It acted fast and could take a life in less than twenty-four hours. Ketterdam had fallen into a very dark time.

Being part of the Crows, Y/n was always busy with something. She often ran errands for the group, choosing to buy the needed supplies for most of their heists.

It was now mid-afternoon. She was heading back to the club for the day with a much needed roll of parchment and a new container of ink for her boss. She felt incredibly hot and had even broken out in a sweat despite it being particularly cold that day. She brushed it off as her wearing one too many layers.

Back at the Crow Club, the small group of six were gathered to sit around one of the empty tables. The club wasn't supposed to open for another two hours. In the meantime, the group worked on planning for their next heist. They talked amongst themselves.

"Another ten announced dead from the Financial District," Jesper announced with his nose buried in a newspaper. He dropped the paper onto the table.

"It's moving west," Inej realized. She briefly glanced down at the paper.

"Could reach the Barrel any day now," Matthias claimed. He had been leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest.

"No news from the Shu?" Wylan asked Jesper. His voice hopeful.

"Nothing that the papers are reporting," Jesper stated. He directed his gaze to look at his boss who sat across from him at the table. He could see that he was deep in thought. "Thoughts on closing the club?" Jesper wondered.

The others turned their heads and looked at their leader expectedly. But Kaz kept his gaze on the silver crow head attached to his cane. He pursed his lips together in thought before shaking his head at the notion.

"No," Kaz said firmly. "We need the business and we need the money."

In that exact moment, the long wooden doors swung open to announce the arrival of someone. The six crows immedielty shifted their gaze towards the source of the noise. Their eyes landed on the familiar figure of the seventh member of the crew. Though, she didn't look quite like herself.

She was covered in a thick layer of sweat, which was clearly evident on her face. She panted heavily to herself; her chest heaving with each breath she took. It looked like she had been running, but she truly hadn't been. The color was robbed from her face.

"I'm...back," Y/n said slowly and breathlessly. She sent them a weak smile, shuffling towards a nearby table to lower her supplies down.

The others quickly looked between each other as if expecting to find some kind of explanation. In the back, Kaz slowly rose to his feet with the help of his cane. His eyes remained on her frail figure.

"Y/n," Kaz called warningly.

It was almost like she didn't hear him because she just kept organizing the things she had brought back to them. Unbeknownst to all of them, Nina moved her hands in a particular motion underneath the table. She sensed her rapid heartbeat, which ultimately meant she probably had a fever.

"Kaz," Nina whispered under her breath. She discreetly turned her head to glance at him through the corner of her eye. "Her heartbeat," Nina began.

He didn't need to be told anything else. He knew what this meant. He inhaled a sharp breathe. He was rudely reminded of his haunting past with disease and how it claimed the life of his brother. He shuddered at the mere thought.

For a brief moment, Y/n felt the entire room go silent. She saw these black splotches begin to cloud her vision. Her head felt light almost. Before she knew it, Y/n had completely lost her footing and had fallen unconscious to the floor.

Without hesitation, the six crows had jumped to their feet in order to rush to her side. It had been Nina who had gotten to her first. She grabbed her shoulder to shift her body to lay on her side. Her fingers hovered over her chest to feel for a heartbeat.

Kaz stood towering over Nina's knelt figure, watching her with hawk eyes. Inej had closed her eyes to say a silent prayer in the background. Jesper had taken Wylan into his arms to bring him some form of comfort. Matthias stood there with as much anticipation as the others.

"She's alright. Just unconscious," Nina announced which made the whole group release a sigh of relief.

"Matthias, take her up to my office." Kaz ordered immediately.

In response, Matthias had dropped down to the floor right beside Nina. He slipped his large arm underneath the unconscious girl's neck, linking his other one under the hook of her legs. He checked to make sure she was secure in his arms.

"Inej, go fetch the doctor." Kaz turned to her. She immediately left their company without another word. "Wylan and Jesper, head down to the market to get medical supplies." Kaz finished.

The two boys nodded their heads understandingly. They rushed towards the entrance with the intent of running to the market as quickly as they could so they could return as soon as possible.

"I'll stay with Nina," Kaz said mostly to himself.

Now Matthias had risen to his feet with the much smaller girl in his arms. He tried to handle her with the utmost care, knowing that if he didn't, Kaz might just have his head. He carefully made his way up the spiral staircase with Nina and Kaz trailing behind him.

Nina went to open the door to Kaz's office. She stepped out of the way so that Matthias could slip through the opening of the office. He stood still for a moment, indecisive of what to do next and where he needed to put her.

"Right over there," Kaz gestured to the sole crimson couch in the corner. So Matthias moved towards the crimson couch. He leaned down to lower the body onto the surface of the couch.

Once Y/n was comfortably laid down, Matthias took a step back so that Nina could sit beside her and Kaz could monitor it all. Nina kept her hand hovering over her chest, concentrating on feeling the pace of her heart rate. She brought her other hand to the side of her dear friend's face, shifting some loose strands of hair out of her face.

Her hair had begun to stick to her skin. Her shirt had a noticeably sweat stain around her neckline. Her breathing was wavering slightly. She looked so sickly up close.

All of the sudden, Kaz didn't see one of his crew members laying on his couch, but instead, the image was replaced of his dead brother who was still covered in those deathly firepox spots and whose eyes had been glazed over. The haunting feeling of his skin being so cold and damp. It gave him chills just thinking about it.

The memories only forced him to turn his head away from the scene. He squeezed his eyes tightly as if trying to push out the images flashing through his mind. He felt a strong sense of bile rising in the back of his throat, threatening to release if he didn't get a grip on himself.

Unable to handle his thoughts any longer, Kaz had left the room in a hurry despite hearing Nina and Matthias calling after him. He slammed the door shut behind him, holding the handle tightly between his leather gloves.

He pressed his backside against the surface of the door and allowed his head to fall back. He closed his eyes once again. His breathing began to increase in speed as he failed to get the sickly image of one of his crows out of his head. His hands shifted to grasp onto the head of the crow cane, keeping him steady.

After a couple minutes of waiting outside, Kaz began to pace back and forth in front of the door. He ignored the slight ache in his right leg. All of the sudden, Jesper and Wylan came clambering up the staircase. They each held a small wooden crate full of vials, rags, and healing herbs.

Upon seeing Kaz, Jesper had halted in his place. He narrowed his eyes at him as if trying to figure out what was going on, but he couldn't figure it out. He cleared his throat to get his boss's attention.

"Got the supplies, boss." Jesper stated.

"Bring them to Nina. She'll know what to do," Kaz did not stop pacing.

With a single nod, Wylan went to enter the office with his supplies. Jesper went to follow him, but he stopped one final time. He stood directly in front of his boss.

"Coming?" Jesper wondered.

Kaz shook his head in denial. He refused to look at him. He took a single step forward to continue his pacing, pressing the tip of his cane against the solid wood floorboards.

In slight defeat, Jesper decided to drop the subject. He turned to walk into the office, joining the others in their attempt to bring their dear friend out of an unconscious state.

Time began to pass.

Before anyone knew it, the large celestial clock of a full moon was hanging high over Ketterdam. The skyline had outstretched its black view of night over the entire city. The stars were sprinkled against the dark sky, almost like salt spread across a table. The lights of the city glowed yellow in the night.

By now, though it had only been a few hours, Y/n's state had taken a turn for the worst. She still failed to wake up. Heavy bags lingered under her eyes and her eyelids had grown darker in color. Her face was still drained of all color and her sweat continued to be an existing condition.

The doctor had been called earlier. He had arrived no more than an hour prior. He checked for the usual symptoms for which he had been seeing every day now. He worked in complete silence. The five crows stood around him and could not take their eyes away.

In the background, Kaz made sure to make no noise as he reentered the office. He stood in the dark corner as he did not really want to be seen by anybody. He held his breathe in anticipation, awaiting to hear the doctor's diagnosis.

Ever so slowly, the doctor lowered her hand back down onto the couch since he had just finished taking her pulse. He reached up to remove the circular glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. He turned his body around in the chair to address the others.

"Well?" Jesper asked rather impatiently.

"Is she going to be alright?" Inej asked worriedly.

"It's hard to tell," the doctor shook his head.

"Well, what is it? Is it the fever?" Nina persisted. Her fingers pinched a little gold necklace around her neck to ease her nerves.

"I'm afraid so," the doctor replied. "She has all the symptoms."

"What can you do for her?" Wylan pushed.

"Not much I can do," the doctor sighed. He went to open his medical bag, taking out a rather large empty syringe.

"W-what's that?" Wylan practically trembled at the sight.

"It's an option. I can try to bleed her, see if any of the bacteria can be extracted..." his voice trailed off despite his urge to further explain himself.

"But?" Jesper wondered.

"If I bleed her, it might finish her."

Upon hearing this, Nina closed her eyes as if trying to prevent the tears from falling. Matthias went to wrap his arm around her shoulder. Inej began another little prayer to herself. Jesper wiped his mouth with the palm of his hand.

"There is no promise I can save her," the doctor confessed truthfully. "The fever acts fast. Her body grows weaker with each second. I need to know now if you want to to proceed with this."

Hesitantly, the five other crows had turned their heads and looked over to their boss standing in the corner. His eyes remained on the wooden floorboards since he was contemplating his options. He closed his eyes to ignore the stares coming his way.

Even then, Kaz still could not look at her. He couldn't even face his crows, coming to the realization that they were dependent on him to make the final decision on this. He thought for a moment.

"Do what you need to do," Kaz said finally.

Over the next hour, the doctor worked ever so carefully. He had successfully inserted a long tube into her arm to transfer some blood out of her system. The excess blood fed into a single porcelain bowl.

In the given moment, Jesper and Wylan were sitting in one of the corners of the room. They talked quietly to themselves. Meanwhile, Inej had been kneeling at the foot of the bed with her hands folded and her head bowed in prayer. She hadn't gotten up since. Then Matthias was pacing the room as he grew more anxious and nervous with each passing second.

All the while, Kaz remained in his own dark corner. He stood leaning against the wall with the help of his cane for support. Anytime Kaz's eyes fell on the familiar figure on the couch, the haunting memories of his brother came flooding back into his mind. He opted to keep his eyes shut to keep the memories out.

Now Nina came back into the room with a bowl full of cold water. She held a dry rag in the other hand, carrying both of them to the small side table beside the couch. She went to dip the rag into the bowl of water, wringing it out afterwards.

She proceeded to place the wet rag on the sickly girl's forehead in hopes of relieving the heat she felt in her head and to bring down her fever. In response, Y/n turned her head from side to side father slowly. She moaned at the feeling.

After a moment, the doctor removed the single tube from her forearm. He cleaned it off with a spare handkerchief. Then he stood to his feet and took hold of his medical bag. He went to leave the room, but was ultimately stopped by the leader of the group. He halted suddenly.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kaz quirked an eyebrow at the doctor.

"I have other patients to see. Others like her who are dying right now," the doctor insisted while gesturing to the patient behind him. Kaz closed his eyes upon hearing the word 'dying.'

"Name your price," Kaz grumbled under his breath.

"I-I can't stay here," the doctor shook his head in denial. "I have to help others."

In any other situation, Kaz would have stopped the man before he could leave the room. He'd force him to stay there until she got better. He'd pay him all the money in the world if it meant that he could do something to help her. But alas, this time, Kaz let the man go.

Before leaving, the doctor came to a slow halt in his steps. He dropped his head down in slight defeat. He realized that he couldn't do much to help her and he wished he could have done more.

"She's contagious," the doctor announced. He stole a quick glance at the young faces around the room. "If you value your life, you should leave town as soon as you can."

The six crows were able to remain unfazed by the doctor's comment. They glanced between one another, mentally wondering if they were all thinking the same thing.

"No mourners," Kaz began.

"No funerals," the others agreed.

Without another word, the doctor dismissed himself from the company of the crows. The rest of them were left there, slightly uncertain of what to do next. There was a beat of silence.

"We'll take shifts," Nina announced, stepping forward. "Switch every three hours," Nina suggested.

"I'll take the first shift," Wylan offered with a slight raise of the hand.

"I will too," Inej said while standing to her feet.

Over the span of a week's time, the crows had taken turns alternating shifts. It operated in a smooth manner: Wylan and Inej, Matthias and Nina, Jesper and Kaz. Though oftentimes, Jesper was left alone during the shift because Kaz just couldn't stand the sight.

The doctor was only able to come briefly every other day, checking for any signs of improvement. Though they were all running low on energy and sleep, they couldn't begin to imagine how the doctor was since he looked like he hadn't gotten sleep in a whole week.

The city was restless. More people were dying every day. There were a limited number of doctors. They often were forced to pick their work from the person who could pay the most. This left the poor people dying on the streets with no medicine and no doctor at their disposal. Death leaned heavy over the city, claiming the lives of countless innocents.

During the early shift, Inej and Wylan would do anything in their power to make sure their dear friend was comfortable. They tried propping up pillows or covering her with blankets. Inej always prayed over her and Wylan liked to swipe the sweat off her brow with a wet cloth.

In the afternoon, Nina and Matthias were tasked with trying to feed her broth. They would shift her into a sitting position. Nina sat next to her and let Y/n lean her body against her side. This meant that her head was often tucked into the nook of the heartrender's neck. Then Nina raised a small wooden bowl of broth to her lips and helped her drink the warm liquid.

Matthias had to sit in front of the two women. He always made sure that she didn't fall over and that she remained conscious if possible. He wanted to help in any way possible.

In the evening, Jesper and Kaz took on their shift. Out of all the crows, Jesper was the one who tried to defuse the awkward tension. He refused to believe that one of his closest friends was on the brink of death. So Jesper talked.

Especially when Kaz stepped out of the room, Jesper talked to her about anything and everything under the sun. It was almost as if they were just having a regular conversation, but she never responded back. He truly believed that she could hear him though and this encouraged him to keep talking.

Though Y/n had regained consciousness, she was far too weak to even open her eyes or move her mouth to speak. She ate rather slowly and drank little water. Her throat burned with each swallow and her breathes had become strained from effort.

On one particular night, Kaz needed to step out of the room for his own reasons. As soon as the door closed, Jesper directed his attention to the figure who lay on the couch. He leaned forward in slight anticipation.

"This is killing him, you know? Kaz," Jesper said in a low tone of voice.

Upon receiving no verbal feedback, Jesper crossed his arms over the stretch of his chest. He breathed a long sigh of defeat. It felt like their efforts did nothing to help her. They saw no improvement. And it was so disheartening.

"I am already the looks of the operation," Jesper said cockily as always. His cheeky smile faded. His heart became overwhelmed with pure sadness. He felt the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. "I really don't want to be the heart now too," Jesper nearly chocked.

Without thinking, Jesper scooted forward in the wooden chair. He took hold of her limp hand with both of his own. He raised her hand to his lips, pressing a small kiss to the back of it. Then he leaned forward to rest his head against her hand. He cried softly to himself.

"I don't want you to feel bad if you have to go," Jesper cried. He lifted his head which meant the tears rolled down his cheeks. "We'll be alright," Jesper nodded.

Unbeknownst to him, Kaz had quietly opened the door in the background. His hand lingered on the door handle. He kept the door open just slightly to hear the conversation.

"I know what he means to you. And I know what you mean to him, even if he won't let you see it," Jesper added with a slight smile. "I'll look after him. I promise you that," Jesper whispered finally.

Suddenly, Jesper rose to his feet. He went to wipe the tears out of his eyes, sniffling once or twice in the process. He cleared his throat before saying what he thought would be a final goodbye. He pressed a single kiss to the top of her head.

"Goodbye, old friend."

When Jesper had turned around in his place, he was slightly surprised to see his boss standing in the middle of the room. He looked away as if he was embarrassed by his own tears. Instead of addressing it, Jesper simply pushed past him to leave the room and closed the door behind him. And it was just the two of them.

For the first time, Kaz went to sit in front of her. He was careful to lower himself into the wooden chair, forcing most of his weight to lean on his cane. He rested for a beat.

Lowering his gaze to stare down at his black leather gloves, Kaz tried not to think about the painful memories. He just couldn't shake the image of seeing his brother's dead corpse, lifeless and unmoving just like she had nearly been all week.

Now Kaz forced himself to take a deep breath before lifting his line of sight to settle on her sleeping figure. Instead of seeing his dead brother, Kaz was overwhelmed at the mere sight of one of his dearest friends. He wasn't an emotional person normally; he always hid his emotions rather well.

But finally being able to look at her made a part of him break inside. His heart physically ached in pain. He clenched his jaw in order to keep the tears at bay. He felt the anger rising within him.

Why did this have to happen again to him? Why was the world so against him? If saints truly exist, why didn't they save his brother or her by now?

He grew angry at the world just like he had been when Jordie died. He wanted his revenge, but this time, there was nobody to get revenge on. He couldn't help her and couldn't save her.

"I..." Kaz's voice trailed off because he couldn't think of the words.

His eyes trailed down from her face to her hand that was tucked at her side. He slowly moved his hand forward so he could take her hand into his gloved ones. He held her hand.

In a way, Kaz wanted the gesture to bring her some sense of comfort. It acted as a way for her to know that he was there beside her. But in a way, it became more of a comfort for him as he realized she was still with him. She hadn't left yet.

"I'm sorry," Kaz said for the first time.

The Bastard of the Barrel had never been known to apologize to anyone. However, in this particular moment, Kaz felt utterly hopeless. He wished to save her, but he knew he couldn't and he was sorry for it.

"We always say 'no mourners, no funerals.' But I think if you left us...I would mourn for you," Kaz confessed truthfully. "I'd mourn every day for the rest of my life, thinking back on all the times I could have said something about my..."

For his sake, Kaz chose not to finish that sentence. He feared a confession would bring him too much pain at a time like this. He'd save it for now.

"Doesn't matter now," Kaz shook his head. "You'll leave me now here soon. Just like Jordie."

In utter defeat, Kaz rose to his feet and let go of her hand in the process. He went to leave the room without another word. He closed the door behind him as if trying to close another chapter of his life. He couldn't handle it anymore. He broke.

In the very early hours of the morning, Kaz was awoken by a single sun beam hitting the side of his face. He opened his eyes to realize that he had fallen asleep in a chair downstairs. His line of sight was directed to the perch above the club and to the door of his office. It was slightly ajar.

Now Kaz didn't think much of it. That was until he heard a soft sobbing sound coming from upstairs. His heart plummeted into the deepest and darkest confines of his chest. Was she...

The hardest thing he had to do was stand to his feet as he almost felt like he didn't have the energy anymore. He forced himself to climb the spiral staircase, stopping at the very top. He saw Inej sitting on the floor beside the door. Her hands covered her face as she let out small sobs.

Just then, the door of the office opened slightly more. His right hand man stepped out of the room with large tears in his eyes. He took a single step forward to stand in front of his boss. Then Jesper broke out in a smile.

This look was all that Kaz needed. He pushed right past him to enter the room in a hurry. He halted in his steps.

Upon hearing someone enter the room rather loudly, Wylan had turned his head towards the door and revealed Y/n who was sitting up on the couch. She sat next to Nina who was making sure she didn't fall over and who was helping her drink some water.

For some unknown reason, Y/n looked like herself again. All the color had returned to her face. She wasn't covered in a thick layer of sweat since her fever dropped. The dark bags under her eyes had also disappeared from sight. Her eyes were so wide open. Had they always been that color? She looks different; she looks beautiful.

It all made sense now. Inej had been crying tears of joy because her prayers had finally been answered. Jesper had to leave the room because he was so overwhelmed with emotions. She made it through. She was a survivor.

Rather slowly, Kaz limped across the stretch of the room. He refused to take his eyes off her in fear that this all might be some kind of horrid dream. The other crows looked between the two of them, knowing that there was some type of unspoken thing. He stopped right in front of her.

"You're okay," Kaz breathed in a soft whisper. "You didn't..."

"Leave you? Never," Y/n smiled in retort.

"I-I thought I'd lost you," Kaz spoke as if the others weren't in the room. She only smiled up at him.

"You can't get rid of me that easy."