#and a diary

[moonamite]

Ever since I was little I always got the impression Randall was an autistic boy who just wanted people to like him, to be accepted and praised, but ultimately ends up with the wrong crowd- Which ALSO reminds me of my experience with autism in a school setting where people will only come to you if you can be ‘useful’ to them, like ROR with Randall’s camouflage ability, and how easy it is to be tricked into mistaking this for genuine kindness.

On the topic of camouflage, whether intentional or not, it’s a perfect metaphor for masking, ‘blending in’. And how Randall has to change who he is just to fit in, starting out small by taking off his glasses, and ending with him completely changing who he is as a person. It all hits way too close to home for me.

And I’m not excusing any of his actions, but I can emphasize with his experiences that cause him to be this way. How his jealousy turns into hatred. I’ve felt all of those things. How one bad experience can change you. It’s just. UUUUUGH.

I don’t know if it’s really an autism thing but I’ve noticed a common theme of me and my nd friends having particular issues with letting go of the past/holding grudges.

Even if he was hypothetically given a second chance, there’d still be that bitter, petty side of him that will always be there because it’s been practically engraved into his head ever since that one moment.

And on the topic of the incident™️, there’s the topic of Johnny. I’m out for blood when I see this asshole. I’ve been in Randall’s exact position of trying to get in with the popular crowd. When Johnny told him to “do the thing” and he giddily obeyed immediately like a puppy desperate to please so they could gawk at him.

He mistook their ‘acceptance’ as friendship. But the only reason why they kept him around was because of his ability, similar how the popular kids will keep around the oblivious autistic kid to use as a punching bag or a jester. They were never laughing with you. They were laughing at you.

MaW is cool and all but I don’t buy that Randall and Johnny were ‘besties’, especially not after the scare games. My personal belief is that Randall left them and secluded himself from people after what happened, never getting over his humiliation and shame, and hatred for Sully. He gets so fixated on proving himself that nothing else matters, and thus he never grows as a person. It may seem far fetched to a normal person, but to me I understand. I get how easy it is to slip into that mindset, to let one bad experience eat away at you and change you, how it makes you withdraw from other people and let yourself get enveloped in your feelings.

I just, idk… I want to see him grow, too. Because I know he’s more than just the hatred and jealousy that’s been building inside of him. He wasn’t always like this, we know that. One experience can ruin you, but it can also save you.

Anyways yeah this boys autistic

[dogglegog]

dominant things you can say during sex

i didnt hear what you said

hold on i need to blow my nose

wow

i feel kind of nauseous

is this anything

i don't know

this kind of reminds me of that one song

we can probably ignore that noise if you want to

why is my sock wet

it smells bad in here

that was weird

where are my glasses

ow

this is normal

sorry

just 2 chill people chilling

this is cool

can you say that again

are we good

youre actually naked

[amartworks]

had a fun experience on the subway the other day

[aurapalettes]

& you know what it actually IS lifechanging to smile at strangers & say please & thank you & goodmorning & compliment someones outfit & help someone in need & be more accepting of loving other people just because they are other people!!!

[lesbianjudasiscariot]

small talk enjoyers when the weather is in any way notable:

[amberkendslacy]

[incendavery]

average library childrens room tasks

[effen-draws]

A small comic about Palestine I created to appeal to more passive family and friends

Anyways if you have the money I urge you to donate to Ibraheem Hadi, a Palestinian who contacted me and whom I promised to highlight in relation to this comic:

Otherwise there is always a need for eSims to keep Gazans connected

[gorjee-art]

a comic about cuddles

[lunamonchtuna]

to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

[cutemysteriousgirl12]

[saintfaux]

[justforthedead]

[lesbianjudasiscariot]

[pinyonrice]

I DUNNO! IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE BEING ALIVE TO ME!

Edit, Jan 2025: hi if you're going to ask for me to turn reblogs on or ask why they're off I have a suggestion: don't! They're off because I want them to be and that's that. I'm tired of being nice about this stupid fucking post. Don't tell me how nothing matters because we're going to die on a post about living, or make weird comments on a post about my body, or insert your weird "I am a god" soapbox spiel into my deeply personal post. This art is not about you, and it never fucking will be. The people on this website don't know how to interact with other people normally.