#and also... with drugs
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Remember when people were like 'omg it's a good thing for Nathan Chen that sports is gender segregated, because if Sasha Trusova could compete against him it would be over for him.'
She couldn't even win any major senior women's events, and they thought she'd beat Nathan Chen???
#look even if you think nathan's skating skills aren't good#which is objectively incorrect#on jumps alone where would you get that#yeah she does attempt a five quad fs#but she succeeded once with several wonky landings and no 3a#and also... with drugs#figure skating#anyway i miss nathan#i love yuma and kao and a few other currently competing men a LOT#but my focus is back on ladies#with the russian girlies out for the moment i can actually enjoy the discipline again#it's always been my favorite so that's nice#going to skam next season and will FINALLY get to see wakaba skate in person
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*taps microphone* is this thing on? Okay…
🎤 THIS IS A REMINDER THAT ALL OF THE ROBINS ARE SMART, GENIUSES IN FACT. THEY ARE IN A FAMILY OF DETECTIVES. THATS LIKE THEIR WHOLE THING. ALL OF THE ROBINS (AND THE REST OF THE BATFAM TOO) ARE CLEVER, STRATEGIC, AND CAPABLE, NOT JUST TIM. (No hate to my boy Tim, though. I love Tim.) YES, EVEN THAT ONE. Thank you. 🎤
#brought to you by my hatred of: the himbofication of Dick Grayson#also the weird fanon thing where Jason is a rash idiotic street brawler like he didn’t take over the drug trade in a night?#and all of the strategy of how he killed his teachers in lost days and got around the Batmobile defences and stopped a terror attack#and the whole thing about Damian being a feral little attack dog like wtf???#and then my poor girl Steph like she’s not keeping up with the rest of them working with babs etc#anyway enjoy my rant#batman#dc comics#batfam#dick grayson#nightwing#dc robin#jason todd#red hood#Tim drake#red robin#Damian Wayne#Stephanie brown#dc spoiler
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this is the single worst way i've ever read to describe an erection, frank herbert
#the next line does call it 'the girder-shape of ecstacy' which is also bad but in a more abstract way than the pure horror of beef#wild that this is abt a 9yo's drug trip#children of dune#dune#speaking of how hard it is to write smut#cannot believe these sentences get published lol
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sometimes u just gotta remind yourself that while ace attorney is about law and justice and stuff it is also about a bunch of young adults living in [CALIFORNIA]
#ace attorney#phoenix wright#apollo justice#klavier gavin#ema skye#maya fey#aa4#lana skye#mia fey#gyakuten saiban#klapollo#sorry this is so dumb i have a sad comic planned so i have to get my sillies out#my art#cw drug use#also before anyone yells at me abt how klavier wouldn’t smoke bc of his voice#a) he’d do it very rarely and probably almost always socially#and b) u know he made phoenix put ice in that bong. you KNOW he did#meanwhile ema keeps at least 2 cartons of cigarettes on her at all times#shes just like me fr#comic
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"why should I get invested in shows if they'll just get canceled" I was deeply invested in Heroes (2006) and it was not canceled, it just got really terrible. I also got really invested in the sandwich I had a few weeks ago despite it only lasting like 15 minutes. You must embrace the ephemeral. You must be willing to love things that may not love you back, that might betray you, or that may die an untimely death. As the great philosopher Mr. Mitchell Lee Hedberg said "I'm not gonna stop doing something because of what happens at the end."
#now granted he did die of a drug overdose but you know. one can take the good lessons#anyway. point being i understand being deeply frustrated with the state of the tv and film.#but also we can admit that for every gem canceled there's like three real duds too#idk if you want something that's guaranteed to have a bunch of seasons and you know the ending for go watch shows from the 70s#the number of adults on this site who lack the emotional wherewithal to watch an ongoing narrative is. yikes.#queue
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While I do find it funny that henchmen in Gotham probably warn each other about the Red Hood because he's a bat who will actually kill you. I think it would be better if Jason was actually seen as some sort of savior or idol to like 90% of the goons scattered around Gotham. Doesn't matter who they work for, they all know Jason, former crime-lord that took over majority of Gotham's underground in one night.
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Jason, years after the events of UTRH, now fighting crime alongside the batfam, except every goon he runs into immediately recognizes him, stops fighting, and starts begging.
the first time it happens, Jason assumes they're begging for their lives only to hear them begging for him to return to the crime lord business so they can work for him and not Gotham's current money-stingy, abusive rogues (Black Mask lol)
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Jason showing up to patrol as backup for Dick in an overrun warehouse full of Two-Face's henchmen and as Jason's about to interfere, one of the men stops dead in their tracks and stares really hard at Jason until:
Goon: Oh my God, boss, is that you?
Jason, pulling out his guns, about to shoot:
Goon: Mr. Hood, sir???
Jason, halfway about to pull the trigger: Wait a min–Jeremy? Oh wow, it's been ages! How's the wife?
Goon (Jeremy): Oh my God it IS you, holy shit where have you BEEN? Me and the guys miss you, man!
Dick, with a knife at his throat: What is happening right now
Jason: Ahh, well, crime-lording just wasn't fitting in on the daily schedule. Tryna turn over a new leaf and all that
Goon (Jeremy): Aw, that's disappointing. We really liked working for you, right guys?
[Chorus of enthusiastic "YEAHS" from the rest of the henchmen (even the one holding Dick at knifepoint)]
Goon (Jeremy): Well, anyways, I can't beat you up knowing you're my old boss! You gave us the best health benefits! We'll just let you take the evidence and leave.
Jason: Aw, thanks guys :)
---
And that's why 95% percent of Jason's missions in Gotham end in success. Not because he's willing to kill people or because rogues are terrified of him, but because 90% of the rogues' henchmen once worked for Jason and fuckin love him lol.
#jason: are you sure your boss wont be mad?#jeremy: he's only mad like 50% of the time im sure we'll be fine#jeremy: also we hate working for him.#jason todd absolutely treats his employees well u cant convince me otherwise#dick after the mission: the HELL was that??#jason fondly: just my goon children. im so proud of them for moving onto weapons trade instead of drug dealing :)#dick: that man was older than you. pretty sure most of them were older than BRUCE#jason: dont disrespect my family like that.#dick: Jason IM your family. i was literally held at knifepoint during your little reunion and you did NOTHING#jason todd#red hood#dick grayson#nightwing#batfam#batfamily#batkids#batbros#dc comics#incorrect quotes#headcanon#crack#fanatical posting
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thunderbolts fandom only existing for like... four days and already having so much absurd and annoying shipping discourse is just another side-effect of this enshittification of fandom that's been happening since *check notes* voltron and the pandemic imo.
but one of the most annoying recent fandom trends is forcing characters into this nuclear family dynamic and the way it's made shipping discourse unbearable. "alexei's the dad, bob yelena and ava are the big siblings and bob is the little brother," on paper, is a harmless headcanon. the problem is the weaponization of these family headcanons to fuel ship wars.
bob and yelena have a deep bond in thunderbolts. you can interpret it as a sibling dynamic. you can also interpret it as romantic or queerplatonic or literally whatever you want. the problem is the same people who call bob yelena's "little brother" are simultaneously saying that any romantic interpretation of their characters is "incestuous weirdo behavior."
like, can we not?
and while boblena is the ship that's taking the most heat right now, i've been seeing hostility towards any variation of any thunderbolts ships. john/ava, john/bob, bucky/alexei, bob/void (which, lmfao, is SUCH a typical ship to me that people getting up in arms about it just proves we've let too many normies into fandom spaces). even yelena/kate is catching strays right now. and it doesn't have to be this way.
again, can we not? just say you're not into any of the ships and move on with your life.
these are not siblings. these are grown adults who grew to care about each other after experiencing traumatic events. "found family" trope has gotten so out of control it genuinely makes fandom less fun.
#thunderbolts#marvel#mcu#boblena#sentryagent#winterguardian#johnava#also feels like relegating bob to simply being “cute baby brother” is a weird infantilization of a mentally ill character#he's a 30 year old drug addict who had a whole life on his own before the events of the movie.#he's a complicated man with serious issues and just infantilizing him into uwu sweet baby boy who's useless and needs to be taken care of b#his big siblings feels like a really patronizing read of his character
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Steve Harrington and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day but it’s actually two months of him trying to keep appointments with his doctor and either forgetting about them or getting distracted and missing them.
This goes on for so long, Dr Owen’s shows up at his door like, “Have you considered Adderall?”
#Steve’s going to be like: Um no? I took it at a party once. it doesn’t work on me.#hopper used to take him to his appointments but hopper’s dead so now it’s just Steve and his bad memory against the world#Steve: it’s also a huge pain in the ass to find a drug dealer you can trust with prescription meds#Owens: I will write you a prescription#Steve: to a drug dealer??#Owens: to a pharmacist#steve harrington
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Family activities (appropriate for all ages)
(ft @inkscapepony-art's oc)
#tw drugs#suri's ramble#the gaslight district#tgd#gaslight district#ken the butcher#melancholy hill#tgd ken#tgd oc#friend tag !!#breadhead#tgd mud#tgd mel#tgd melancholy#the smiling dead#tgd fanart#tgd breadhead#also featuring scrap#see this is what happens when im allowed unrestricted internet access
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if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing
#imagine you're a boy who's going to die. you're in love with the girl you've been watching from afar. you know your fate.#you just want to help her‚ but then there's the announcement and she's here in front of you‚ kissing you‚ risking her life for you and you#think‚ i could live and i could love. you think she loves you when she hands you the berries‚ when she puts them in her mouth.#then you both survive and you go back home and nothing is real anymore. you have nothing. no family. no friends. no love. just an empty#house. a drunk for a neighbor. the love of your life walking into somebody else's arms. you think‚ i survived the games. i could survive#this. and you also think‚ i should've bit down on those berries‚ should've felt the juice burst before i died.#and then the third quarter quell announcement rings in your ears and you think‚ she will live and i will die as i should have in the first#place. the girl you love kisses you on the beach and somewhere you heart stirs and your mind revolts and you savor every touch she has ever#given to you‚ in front of the cameras and off. because you are a tribute and you are always being watched and snow's presence looms and#you think‚ i know she cares. but you get taken. you get drugged. you get tortured‚ your mind altered. the girl is a mutt‚ a murderer. she's#everything you despise‚ your mind stirs. your heart revolts. you gain more awareness but cannot distinguish reality from fiction and you#have never known katniss' love. the war ends. you heal. you come home. you plant primrose for her. years down the line‚ you grow in love#more than you thought possible. but some days‚ you cannot tell fiction from reality so you ask the love of your life‚ you love me.#real or not real? and she says‚ real‚ and kisses you.#and you sigh and kiss her back and revel in this. a home. a life. a love.#lit#the hunger games#everlark#otp: real or not real?#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#text#tais toi lys#thgpost#*
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Bartering with desire. Is that what makes you fascinating?
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#daniel molloy#iwtvedit#tvedit#*#the bartender asking if he has money has always come across to me as kind of#yeah to convey that daniel was a regular since he was known by name (a nickname even)#but also that he was in the habit of letting guys buy drinks for him maybe in exchange for sex sometimes#since it's what he also did for drugs#maybe that wasn't the writers' intention? but it's what i got anyway
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#this is how u make friends#fanart#art#drawing#sketch#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl the goat#the quality is killing me#remembered this scene in family guy and had to sit back i cant believe no one's done this before#also happy end of friday 13th i forgot to mention this 2 hours ago#cw drugs#cw drug use
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I think an underrated angle on 2x05 is something that either Jacob or Assad said in some interview somewhere, which is that in that episode Louis is addicted to heroin. Thats why he has that whole stash of drugs that he gives to Daniel, that's why he gives Daniel the drugs even though he's already got him alone. He didn't just use those 128 boys for sex he was using them to get high. Bring them home, get them to shoot up, and then drain them to get that secondhand high.
It clarifies something that's always confused me about that scene, which is why Armand saves Daniel the first time. He wouldn't save Daniel as a person, he clearly knows Daniel needs to die, but he's not seeing Daniel as a person there. Daniel is just a substance. He rips him away from Louis to stop him from using.
And i think that adds a whole other layer to the fight he and Armand have to think that this is Louis on a bender, with Armand cleaning up after him because he's not stable enough to. Louis in the bed for a week isn't just healing from the burns, he's going through withdrawal. Him at the table with Daniel giving him the "bright young reporter" speech is probably the first time he's been sober in months.
It adds another layer to Armand's desperation, that Louis has been running from both Armand and himself in this way, and of course Armand wants to erase that memory. Of course he wants to pretend that that fight never happened. Not just to protect himself but in a way to protect Louis from having said those things. When he describes the fight to Louis afterwards, he says "you said the worst things you've ever said to me." And he doesn't really know how to forgive Louis for that so he just wants to bury this rock-bottom moment and move on like it never happened. After all, Louis was high, he didn't really mean it, but if he remembers then maybe he might think that he had a point. Better to wipe the whole experience away.
#imagine youre in an eternal spite marriage with your ex who you're in love with because he's in love with your other ex#who youre also in love with#and your spitehusband who hates you turns to drugs to cope with the traumatic death of his daughter (which you caused but who's counting)#and you just follow him around cleaning up his messes and propping him up and keeping him alive#because despite everything you do love him#and you find him mid bender and he's told his life story to a reporter and he didn't even mention you#and you're just trying to protect him from himself so he doesn't pass out in a pool of blood on the floor#and he tells you that you're a burden#that youre the thing thats killing him#that 10 hours with a stranger made him feel more alive than your whole relationship#and he says that youre BORING#that all your trauma and grief and fear made you UNINTERESTING#yeah id do some saw trap shit too#blorboposting#benni proof#interview with the vampire#loumand#iwtv
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Red Hood's one man war against his Twitter verification continues
(heads up: drugs+graphic threats of violence)


First //// prev //// next
Masterpost
++Plus a bonus I forgot from Jason's previous escapades

#go gonzo go!#birds on the bird app#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#duke thomas#stephanie brown#batposting#social media au#tw drugs#tw drug use#tw death threats#harper row#i think shed like strawberry switchblade#ignore that ive only listened to like 3 of their songs#this is my monthly reminder that jason todd WAS A DRUG LORD#also tried to make it clear that hes also like. “hey. please dont do hard drugs.” but also- its literally gotham
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Part One
There’s a bloody and battered Steve Harrington on Phil Callahan’s couch.
There’s also a somewhat shellshocked (but otherwise perfectly fine, thank God) Eddie Munson passed out on the other side of it, having refused to leave after dragging Harrington to Phil’s front door.
Hopper and Powell both are unable to be raised via radio, dispatch is being cagey and keeps insisting they know nothing (but also cannot send an ambulance his way due to ‘unusually high call volumes’, what the fuck) and being that it’s now 3 am, Flo has long left the station.
Which leaves Phil as the last adult standing, slumped in a chair and quietly wondering if this is how the apocalypse starts.
(Given the ER has apparently been overtaken by some sort of government task force to deal with a “gas leak and related poisonings” --suspicious quotation marks very much implied-- it kind of feels like it might be.
“There are men in containment suites here. The big bulky white ones you only see in movies.”
The nurse he begged through back channels to talk to had hissed on the phone, voice low and frantic.
“There’s talk they’re going to quarantine the hospital. Do not bring that kid here. If you think he’s worse tomorrow, drive him to St. Peters in the morning, but otherwise just keep an eye on him.”
St. Peters, the next closest hospital, is a full hour and a half drive away--and that’s if Phil takes his cruiser and keeps the lights and sirens on.)
Callhan alternates between watching the clock and the rise and fall of Harrington’s chest as he breathes. Contemplates when his small town, boring life started going completely sideways.
The nurse had assured him Steve probably just had a concussion and a few fractured ribs. The head wound had already closed by the time Phil checked it and it likely won’t need stitches unless it reopens.
They are living out the best case scenario here. Steve’s (probably) going to be fine. He just needs to take things easy for a while, which Phil himself will be insisting he do, since that kid will not be going home to an empty house.
Not when he knows Steve's parents are gone and as helpful as Munson’s been, Phil can't ask him to watch Harrington.
For all the chains, swagger, and dumb habit of stealing Phil’s cowboy hat, Eddie Munson’s still a kid himself.
Nevermind that Phil’s pretty sure the two aren’t even friends, let alone friendly.
Sure Munson’s been spotted at a couple of Harrington’s parties, and yes there’s definitely rumors the brat's started dealing, but unlike most of Steve’s crew, Munson knows to bolt long before the cops show up.
Definitely isn’t the type to play sports, in the same way Steve isn’t the type to stage large scale lawn-flamingo heists. They just don’t cross paths much.
Plus it’s just downright irresponsible to even think of asking Munson and okay, maybe as a cop Phil himself has a responsibility to the city of Hawkins, but the city isn’t currently bleeding all over his couch.
Add on the little fact that Steve had repeatedly said that he didn't want to be left alone…
(That he hadn’t realized how bad off he was until he was already behind the wheel of his car, chasing down a half-remembered promise of help Callahan had once offered.
Phil would bet his last dollar that was why Munson hadn’t left yet.
That he’d watched the way Steve had clung, first to Munson and then to Phil, wrecked and shaking, his voice splintering as he pleaded, “Please stay, I don’t wanna die alone, I--sorry, please--”
Phil had been in a full-blown panic trying to reassure the kid he wasn’t about to keel over and he was a cop, for fuck’s sake!
Munson, who had once famously melted down in middle school over animal control’s attempts to put down an injured possum and tried to start a riot?
Even if he hadn’t needed the extra hands, Phil would’ve let the little brat linger, if only to head off the inevitable nightmares this whole screwed-up mess was bound to leave behind.)
No ones going anywhere until Phil has answers or orders.
The clock chimes in the background, a reminder of the late hour and he uses it to shove all thoughts of death and teenagers away.
Attempts, once again, to walk through what he’ll do if the next call he gets is about an evacuation, or a curfew, or some other government issued order, and he still can’t get a hold of Hopper or Powell.
If the hospital closes they’ll need to make a statement. Call some sort of town hall about what to do, where to go in case little Suzie or Bobby eats shit on their bike.
Calm some people down in case the gas leak thing gains traction. Starts going around causing the same panic Benny’s death and Will Byers disappearance had.
Wouldn’t be hard, given those two incidents happened last year.
(Would the county send the stupid staties if Phil was the one to call in? Say he can’t get a hold of his own people?
Would they care about the lowest guy on the force panicking, or would they think him a small town moron and ignore him until it was too late?
What if this really is the fucking apocolypse and Phil’s the only cop left around?
‘Can I survive the end of the world with two teenagers in tow’ is not a thought exercise he’s ever entertained.
If he had, King Steve and Menace Munson would have been his last possible pick for the role, definitely not with one of them injured, and oh, dammit, he’s catastrophizing again--)
Running on caffeine fumes and sheer panic, Phil’s thoughts loop relentlessly, the clock chiming again and again until the first light breaks through the windows and Steve finally stirs.
Finds he must have fallen into some sort of half-asleep trance because he’s jerked to full awareness when Harrington moves to get up and ends up falling back down, loudly hissing and clutching his head.
“Easy, easy.” Phil mutters, up in a shot, coming to hover over Harrington like the kid’s a nervous horse. “You’re with--uh, Officer Callahan? At my house.”
Then, like Steve might not know, adds; “You’re pretty hurt, kid.”
“Oh.” Steve says, squints up at him, holding his head in both hands. “Alright.”
That's a dramatic under-reaction, and Phil’s instantly worried about brain damage as Munson starts to come alive next to them.
He crouches down next to Steve, hands hovering uncertainly. “You remember what happened?”
Steve stares at the floor, then at Phil.
“Sort of?”
“Waz’ goin’ on?” Munson says, blinking rapidly into awareness.
“Go grab an ice pack for Steve,” Phil says distractedly, as he reaches out, telegraphing his movements. Begins gently combing through Steve’s hair to get a look at the cut. “Top shelf, left side of the freezer.”
He earns a foggy stare and a grunt that might’ve been “Sure”--or possibly, just a default teenager noise, before Munson tumbles upright, staggering off like a baby deer.
Phil might’ve rolled his eyes and made a comment on teenage zombism, if Steve didn’t flinch every time his fingers so much as brushed against his skull.
“Scale of one to ten, how bad’s the pain?” He asks, only just remembering to keep his voice down.
“It’s throbbing, man.” Steve replies, which isn’t as concerning as the fact he’s allowing Phil to manhandle his entire head without complaint, despite the pain.
Thankfully, Phil’s prepared.
“Let’s fix that, then. Pick a hand, any hand.” He jokes lamely, as he fishes in the pocket of his pants, finally pulling out the little pill bottle he’d retrieved earlier.
“Uh…” Steve stares at him uncomprehendingly until Phil holds out his palm and shakes the pill jar, two pills bouncing down.
“Oh.” Steve says. “That hand then.”
“This will make you a little loopy, but it’ll help with the pain.” Phil warns, handing them over. “I’ll get you a glass of water to take it with.”
Not that he apparently needed to because Steve’s already popped the pills in his mouth and swallowed them dry.
“Hope that’s because of the pain and not because you’re used to doing that.” Phil chides sarcastically, rising to his feet. Water will do Steve good anyway, he could barely get any down the kid last night.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Steve tosses at his back, the first real sign of his usual attitude.
Which means the kids’ definitely going to be okay, at least.
Phil rolls his eyes, fighting the urge to show relief as he passes Munson, the older teen now looking far more awake despite his hair looking like a rat made its home there.
“Munson?” Steve says, startling loudly when Eddie drops down next to him on the couch. “Shit I thought I hallucinated you.”
“No such luck, your majesty. Here, ice pack,” The older teen still sounds like he gargled gravel. “Put it on your head.”
Phill grabs a water bottle for him too.
He returns as Eddie manages to wedge the ice pack into Steve’s limp hands, holding two bottles of water himself; one for Harrington and one for Munson, who sounds like he could probably use it too.
“Do that, drink this, then,” Phil says, trying not to push but needing answers as he hands out the water, “Start talking. What the hell happened?”
Harrington presses the ice to his temple, and meets Phil’s eyes.
“How much do you know?”
And nope, no, fucking no, that is not how this is going to work today, thanks!
“Uh-uh, you answer first!” Phil snaps, arms crossing over his chest. “All we have established is that you showed up here looking like you went ten rounds with Michael Myers and then tried to drive afterwards.”
He’s been balancing on the knife’s edge of panic all night, and now that Harrington’s finally stringing full sentences together, it’s starting to show.
Phil needs something here, he’s beyond desperate.
Even if it’s just normal dumb teenager bullshit.
“No, like, how much has Hop told you?” Steve clarifies hesitantly. “About the--the stuff? With the lab?”
Which just makes things worse, since all roads seem to circle back to them.
(He knew that lab made evil space lasers and shit!)
“I'm sorry, who's asking questions here? From the top, Harrington.” He raises his hand in the air, just in case Steve needs visual representation as Phil’s anxiety grapples with him. “Pretend Hopper hasn’t told me anything. Right now, you can pretend he doesn’t even exist.”
Harrington squirts at him disbelievingly under the ice pack.
Mutters; “I forgot you get bitchy when you’re upset.”
Which is rich, coming from a Harrington. Their entire family turned being bitchy into an inherited skill set!
“The hospital says there’s a gas leak happening.” Phil prods, tone tight despite himself. “Is it from the lab? The government?”
Was this a weapon that got away from them? Did they have Hopper? Is that why he wasn’t answering his damn radio!?
Phil knew they were on a time limit here, with the meds, but he hadn’t exactly anticipated Harrington starting off by talking about the lab. Selfishly thinks he’d have held off for a second if he had known this was related to whatever the hell was happening in town.
“You kept mentioning the junkyard and some kid named Dustin.” Munson interrupts, hanging his elbows on his knees and peering at Steve. “You said you were going to be pissed at him if you died because he was being stupid.”
Phil resists the urge to shush him.
Unfortunately Harrington grabs onto that and runs with it, launching into a rambling, half-baked story involving babysitting, Hargrove being one of the kid’s racist stepbrother (unsurprising, Phil’s met his jackass of a dad), fighting with loose dogs and helping Hopper in the tunnels.
Every mention of tunnels and dogs is delivered with sharp little glances at Phil, like he’s supposed to be in on something here.
Phil isn’t, which he does not like, given the overall feeling of impending doom.
Fortunately for Harrington’s head, but tragically for Phil’s sanity, the meds kick in after just twenty minutes.
On an empty stomach, ill-advised as that is, they hit even faster.
Which means any good information Phil might’ve squeezed out gets steamrolled by Harrington’s slow-motion nosedive into delirious nonsense.
The kid’s answers grow less filtered and more disjointed, stopping part way through one sentence to start another. Phil makes the mistake of asking about the lab again right as Steve drops the word mindflayer, and suddenly Munson is firing off questions like it's a pop quiz on some weird board game.
Wings his hands in the air and drops back down in his chair as he mentally writes off getting anything when it dissolves into an argument over what a ‘demogorgon’ looks like. And sure, maybe he shouldn’t have expected too much, but then, he’s running on zero sleep himself here.
He turns on the TV with a frustrated sigh and flips it to the news station, keeping the volume down as low as it’ll go.
Half-heartedly tunes in just enough to catch Stacy Whitherspoon droning about the weather, while listening for anything that might signal their impending doom.
“--I’m telling you man, I don’t care what the kids say, it doesn’t have claws--”
“Were you fucking there? No you weren't, cause you woulda seen the claws coming through the wall--”
Eddie keeps throwing side-glances towards Callahan, like he’s checking to see if Phil’s clocking all this, and Phil mostly ignores it, because it’s more fun to watch Munson think Steve’s serious about actually seeing a monster.
(Considers it payback for all the lawn flamingos that the brat’s stuck cowboy hats and sheriff badges on, and then splashed dramatically with red paint.)
Of course Steve can’t just stick to the monster shit, and apparently, takes a jump into ‘whoops I may have given him too many pills’ land when he abruptly stops talking to just stare at Munson.
“Dude,” he says, with a thunderstruck expression, “did you know you have like, really pretty hair?”
“Thanks, your majesty.” Eddie snarks in return, but it's too soft to be a reprimand.
“Can I touch it? I wanna touch it.”
Yeah, the drugs have definitely kicked in.
“If you let Callahan put the ice pack back on your face you can. You keep taking it off.”
“Nooooo.” Steve whines pitifully, “It’s cold!”
“Jesus Harrington, you really hit your head.” Eddie chuckles, now looking outright panicked as he coughs and looks pointedly at Phil, doe eyes seemingly sending out both ‘Are you hearing all this?’ and ‘Hello!? SOS!’
“I gave him some Percodan.” Phil finally admits. “He’s fine, he’s likely just a little loopy from it.”
He does not mention the pills are his own, left over from a minor surgery and not something all cops just happen to have on hand.
He also does not comment on the fact that Munson looks instantly relieved, like he knows what a Percodan is.
“I’m only loopy because Hargove cheated.” Steve grumbles in complaint, one foot in the conversation and the other off in space. “He hit my head. With a plate. Which is cheating.”
“With a plate?” Munson and Phil both blurt out, nearly in unison.
“With a plate!” Steve repeats with a bitchy undertone. “He tried to attack Lucas!”
Another disbelieving scoff, much like the King Steve persona Phil’s grown familiar with.
“Lucas is like,” Steve pauses and looks down, counting on his fingers. Pauses again, then looks back up at them. “Maybe ten?”
It’s stupid to even ask, but Phil can’t help himself. Steve had never truly clarified anything in all his rambling, and the Hargrove part had mostly focused on Steve’s worry over the kids, and the fact that the guy apparently had some sort of hard-on for bullying Harrington.
“Is that where all your injuries are from? The fight with Hargrove?”
He kind of hopes Steve says yes, if only because that’s normal shitty behavior.
Phil can deal with normal shitty. He knows exactly what to do with normal shitty!
(Government agents in hazmat suits taking over the hospital is crazy shitty and he has zero idea how to even approach that mess.)
Steve raises a hand, wobbily tilts it side to side in a ‘sort of’ motion.
“I mean half was Billy, half was the demo, the dem, the dogs.” He struggles, before making a comically upset face. “An’ the tunnel. Fuck those tunnels, man.”
Then corrects himself by saying, “Language, asshole.”
“Steve,” Eddie says, and Phil can tell he’s struggling not to laugh. “You’re the one that said it.”
“Oh.” Steve’s face untwists, taking back on the overall confused air. “I shouldn’t do that. Hey,”
He tries to sit up, lean forward. “Did you know you have really pretty hair?”
This would all be way more entertaining if Phil didn’t still need actual answers out of Harrington.
Lesson learned: next time Harrington needs meds, he’s getting a pill. As in one, as in singular.
“You should let me--like,” Steve trails off for a moment, apparently fighting the drugs and his messed up head both. “Like..style? That’s not the right word…”
“You can play with it later. You have melted ice on your face.”
Steve is horrified instantly. “I have mice on my face!?”
“No.” Eddie's struggling not to grin, and it's so easy to tell it's a real one when Phil has seen every shade of fake on that brat’s face. “Here, let me get it.”
He bats Steve’s hands away when the other attempts to ineffectively wipe at his cheeks, pulling out one of the black hanky’s he’s been sporting since about fifth grade to help and Phil freezes, because this one is different.
This one he recognizes, because it’s from a specific bar in Indiana.
“Just remember when this is over that you're mad at Callahan, not me.”
“Why would I be mad at you?”
“King Jockstrap, accepting help from the Freak? You tell me why that'd go badly.”
A specific, special bar. One he himself visited a couple times, first on a dare and next out of curiosity, before he met Tracy and got engaged/married/divorced.
It’s the kind of place with blacked out windows and multiple exits. Where he had made damn sure no one in there knew he was even associated with the police, let alone training to become a cop.
Steve sounds downright hurt. “I gave all that stuff up. I gave everything up.”
“What, being King Jockstrap?”
“Bring King of anything.”
Phil felt that intuition of his kick in again. The one that said things like a Darcelle XV’s handkerchief weren’t exactly something a teenager just casually found.
Definitely not in a town like Hawkins.
(Absolutely not a kid like Munson.)
“I can’t do it and help the kids. Jonathan and Nancy are both--” Steve cuts himself off. Starts again. “They keep telling me it's just me and. I don't want them to feel like they're…”
“Alone?” Eddie finishes for him, voice soft.
Steve hums.
“Yeah.”
Phil only went a handful of times and he doesn’t recall what all the colors for the hankey’s meant, but staring at it, he’s hit with the same feeling he gets when he helps Flo complete a puzzle, or when he has one of those moments where he helps someone, instead of making their day worse.
It doesn’t take much to change an entire worldview, but processing it?
All the interactions Phil’s ever had with Munson, the complaints, the rumors?
It’s like watching an explosion in real time, everything falling into place so fast it almost hurts.
“Hey. If you're uh, if you're actually not mad at me, after this? I wouldn't mind continuing to make sure you're not alone.”
“What's that mean?”
What that means is Eddie Munson is going down in flames in real time, directly in front of the straightest kid Phil's ever met.
Well. Okay. He's seen the hairspray, maybe not straightest ever, but…
Phil takes one long breath as the situation recontextualizes itself, then follows his gut and barrels over whatever clearly ill-advised, teen-crush filled nonsense Munson looks ready to blurt out.
“I went to Darcelle’s a couple times, when I was in my early twenties.”
Phil has to talk to the ceiling, because he really doesn’t want to see Munson’s face right now.
Harrington’s either, but Harrington likely won’t remember shit later.
“I wouldn’t be let in if I went back now, not unless I pretended I wasn’t an officer, but.” He swallows. Tries to think on how much he wants Munson to know, and what actually would be a reassurance, here.
Realizes, in that weird, back of the head sort of way, that offering reassurance is what he’s trying to do.
“It’s a cool place.” He finishes awkwardly.
Dead silence meets his words and after a moment Phil pulls his gaze back to Harrington.
Who is half leaning into Munson’s hands like a cat, completely unaware of the conversation happening around him, while Eddie stares frozen at Phil in a sort of mute horror.
Silence stretches uncomfortably between them, long enough that Phil’s gearing up to say something really stupid to get himself out of this, when Eddie whispers;
“Would you go back?”
And shit, he hadn’t known Munson knew what a whisper was, let alone how to get his own voice to do it.
Phil thinks honestly on the question though. He started this, he’s the adult here and he knows damn well he’s being asked something else.
“Yeah.” He says, and can’t even tell if he’s lying or telling the truth. Figures it doesn’t matter, so long as Munson understands what Phil’s actually saying back. “Yeah I think I might. After the uh, divorce finalizes.”
Eddie carefully extracts his hands and hanky both from Steve, fiddling with it in his hands.
“I really want to go there again.” It’s spoken like a secret spilled, a careful thing Munson’s still unsure that he wants out there, attached back to him.
Phil nods. Feels a weird lick of fondness he probably shouldn’t have for him, given the way the brat seems to enjoy being Hawkins PD’s self-assigned pain in the ass, but, well.
He already opened his door for Steve.
What’s another wayward kid?
Except this one he recalls, isn’t as wayward as he seems, or at least, not anymore, and he feels a little guilty as he remembers that Wayne Munson both exists and might be worried about where his nephew is.
“You’re a good kid, Eddie.” He says, and watches as that seems to hit the teen harder than not-quite admitting Phil’s been to a gay bar. “Phone’s in the kitchen. Go call your Uncle, he should be home by now. Let him know where you are.”
“Yeah, okay.” Eddie says, and then actually goes to do so, like a proper citizen who listens to adults and authority figures instead of a semi feral rugrat.
Which just leaves Phil with Steve, who’s slumped sort of sideways on the couch.
“Hey Callahan?” The kid says quietly, drawing Phil’s attention to him.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
The knee jerk response Phil has is to ask What for, but drops the idea the second he realizes the kid’s eyes are drifting shut.
Internally curses himself for apparently deciding to half-adopt teenager asshole’s while he himself is barely in his 30s, but fuck it.
“Anytime, Harrington. Anytime.”
#pre steddie#they flirt lmao#accidental big brother Phil Callahan#I see Eddie as someone who grew up around drugs#who knows what it looks like when someone is in an altered state#so early he didn't have proper words for it.#Just knows that when its Other time that the rules change#people change. He can get away with saying more#with being a bit more of himself#and can blame it on other things. Hes younger here and fell a little too hard into the Beat to Shit Steve Harrington spell#annnd forgot Callahan was with him. Also whoops I made Phil bi#that was unintended lmao.#also garden gnomes being stolen is canon in S1#in my head thats Hellfire and Eddie lmao#0o0 fanfics#steve harrington#eddie munson
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i want floyd to get high at a rock concert and start a fight in the moshpit
#trolls#trolls band together#trolls world tour#floyd trolls#riff trolls#fliff#fliff trolls#im of the firm belief ringpops are a hard drug for trolls#also of the firm belief floyd gets fucking crazy when he's high i think it contrasts with his timid personality so well#my art#i stayed up all night making this shit im so tired
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