#and decided to try out transcripts for a change

[bumblevoid]

had a randomidea while writing the outline for my long fic and now im just writing fictional sci fi police records. what happeneD--

[karlachismylife]

Writing Russian-speaking characters

So I have once again been chuckling at some adorable clumsy Russian in Nikolai and Nikto fics, and thus I decided to make a little list that might be helpful for fellow COD writers here. And yes, please, feel free to reach out to me if you need any proofreading of your Russian phrases, I would be glad to assist since google translator can butcher it in ways non-speakers won't be able to notice.

I would really appreciate if you guys shared this post and helped it reach people that might need it, I put way more effort into it than I expected myself <3 Also, I might make a followup with some more words and/or phrases that can be useful, so please feel free to request some, since here I am mostly focusing on terms of endearment.

I will write down Russian words, their (approximate and wonky, sorry for that) transcription/transliteration and what part of speech they are (keep in mind that adjectives can be used as nouns when used to address someone) and provide according translation and use.

Keep in mind that in Russian the gender of the word is important!!! I'll write down them in following order: he/him (он/его) version/ she/her (она/её) version/ they/them (они/их) version. However! They/them is NOT traditionally used as gender-neutral pronouns, it's plural only. Some queer and younger folks do use they/them (myself included), but it does sound wonky as it's direct copy from English. Unfortunately, Russian is not very suitable for gender-neutral writing, but there are ways to go about it (I'll try to note some of that too).

*however, since Nikto is sometimes using plural they/them to describe himself, that would be okay with him since it's plural. I hope that makes sense, lol.

So if you're putting an adjective with a noun (example: милый котик) you have to use an adjective in the correct gender form FOR THE WORD! If the noun (котик here) is masculine, you use masculine adjective form EVEN if you're referring to a person with she/her pronouns.

What is love?

The main thing I noticed is that y'all use a direct translation of the word "love" - "любовь" [l'ubov'] (n) to refer to a person. As in "how are you doing, love?". However, that's wrong. "Любовь" is either a word to describe the feeling, or a name (short version would be Люба [Lyuba]). If you wanna use an affectionate pet name, consider one of the following!

дорогой/дорогая/дорогие [dorogoy/dorogaya/dorogiye] (adj) - means "darling". Often used between spouses. Mostly used to refer to person directly, sounds a little quirky if you use it to refer to them in third person (as in "my darling went out to buy some strawberries").

любимый/любимая/любимые [l'ubimiy/l'ubimaya/l'ubimiye] (adj) - means "beloved/loved/loved one" and is probably the closest to "love". You can use it to refer to person directly or to talk about them in third person (as in "can't wait to see любимую". Also yes, the endings are changing depending on the case and I'm not entirely sure how to explain this concisely without going deep into grammar lol).

милый/милая/милые [miliy/milaya/miliye] (adj) - the word means "cute/cutie", but is also used as a general terms of endearment, like "sweetheart". Mainly to refer to someone directly, using it in third person is a little old-fashioned I'd say. Also commonly used by people outside romantic partnership, a kind old lady can definitely call you over with this one asking to help her read expiration date on a milk bottle or something.

любовь моя [l'ubov' moya] (n + adj/pronoun) - okay, I kinda tricked you saying you can't use the word "love" to refer to a person. If you say this (means "my love"), you can! It's pretty romantic and I am actually the one person that uses this daily, otherwise it's either very romance-novel/old-fashioned sounding, but there are moments when it's perfectly suitable. Have that fairytale moment! Also please note, that while "моя любовь" [moya l'ubov'] (adj/pronoun + n) is grammatically correct, it sounds kinda weird if you use it to address the person directly (like in a phrase "my love, you shine brighter than the stars"). While Russian doesn't have particularly strict rules about word order, it does matter to some extent, and this is a prime example: people just use one order way more often that the other.

Pocket-sized

I've already told somewhere here my favourite Nikto fic moment: the sweetest, romantic moment, interrupted by him calling reader "детёныш", which means "cub" as in baby animal. And while my parents do use this word affectionately, I can assure you, most people don't, and it was clear that this was a result of a clumsy translation of "baby" or something like that. So here are some variants for words like baby, little one and such!

малыш/малышка [malysh/malyshka] (n) - I'd say this feels more "little one" than "baby" to me, it's a tad less sexually charged if you get what I mean. Also, you call "малыш" a person of any gender/pronouns, while "малышка" is strictly for she/her. Obviously can be used for kids too.

детка [d'etka] (n) - this one is definitely "baby" or "babe" as a term of endearment, calling a real kid this would be WEIRD if you're not a really old granny. I would also say that it's more commonly used to refer to female partners, but that might be just my perception and experience. It's still okay to use both ways. Also this word can be very much used if you need a little bit of sleazy/catcalling/bad pickup line energy, like someone shouting after a girl passing by on the street. Yuck.

маленький/маленькая [mal'en'kiy/mal'en'kaya] (adj) - this just means "little" or "small", I'd say it's used less commonly and usually in this form "маленький мой/маленькая моя" [mal'en'kiy moy/mal'en'kaya moya] (adj + adj/pronoun). I will expand on this a little later here! Can be used to refer to kids too.

All kinds of fauna

While poor детёныш is reserved for furry freaks like yours truly, there are some animal nicknames that are very widely spread! Here are some that I think would be most useful for y'all. Granted, some people think that these are a lil' bit cringey, but I think it really just depends on what you're used to hear around you. So if I think calling someone a cub is cute, and bunny is cringe, that probably says more about me :D

котик [kot'ik] (n) - this is a term of endearment for a cat. NOT same as kitten, mind you! Mostly used to refer to men (since the word is of masculine gender) - in my experience.

котёнок [kot'onok] (second o here is like ö in German) (n) - now THIS is "kitten". I would say this is more gender-neutral than the previous one, but the word is still masculine gender.

зайка [zayka] (n) - I believe this would be an equivalent to "bunny", although it's actually a cute word for a hare, not a rabbit. Definitely used for all genders (also the word can be both masculine and feminine gender), also is okay to use referring to kids (even teachers that are into endearing nicknames can call pupils this and it's not weird. well, in elementary school). You can also say "зайчонок" [zaych'onok] (n) which is a word for baby hare, even cuter.

рыбка [ribka] (n) - a term of endearment for a fish. I think it's viewed as a bit old-fashioned and thus only used jokingly nowadays, but you know what? Nikolai could pull this off 100%. Bonus points if it's "рыбка моя" [ribka moya] (n + adj/pronoun). Only used for women and the word itself is of feminine gender.

медвежонок [medv'ezhonok] (n) - now, I actually have never met someone who would call their partner this, but I myself would (and I definitely saw it in some media, but that's obv not too reliable). It's a word for a bear cub, so I think it's cute to call a huge ass bear of a military man this word. It's of masculine gender, but I would say it's okay to call a she/her person this too. ALTHOUGH there is a grammatically incorrect (but this only adds to cuteness as it often happens) word "медвежонка" [medv'ezhonka] (n) - this would be a female bear cub. My family uses this word, I use it, no, it won't be in a dictionary, but everyone will understand what you mean. Is okay to use for kids too.

щенок [sh'enok] (if it helps, щ is like German "schtsch", like in Borschtsch, like sh but soft) (n) - now, this actually is not used as a term of endearment, it's "puppy" and it's suitable for degradation. The word is of masculine gender, but you can call anyone this to be honest. You can tell Nikto he's "глупый щенок" [glupiy sh'enok] (adj + n) (silly puppy) and that man will either bark for you or gut you. If you say "тупой" [tupoy] (adj) (dumb) instead of "глупый" [glupiy] (adj) (silly), it will be downright offensive. You can say "щеночек" [sh'enochek] (n), which is an endearing term for a puppy, so it's a little bit sweete. OR you can use my personal favourite - "щен" [sh'en] (n), which is actually also incorrect, but if you've ever heard of a great poet and poetry innovator Mayakovskiy, he was called this word by Lilya Brik. I do NOT have the time to unpack that wild relationship (there was a throuple involved. Russian poetry scene of early XX century was WILD and it's my favourite poetry period hands down), but it's pretty famous. The word "щен" consists of the word "puppy" but with the end diminutive suffix cut off. The trick is, that while some words return to their non-diminutive form with such procedure, this one does not - so you're basically inventing a new word that now sounds quite degrading and harsh, but also sexy as hell (personal opinion). I would definitely call Nikto this word.

птичка [ptich'ka] (n) - that's just "birdie", but I actually wouldn't say many people use it to refer to each other. HOWEVER, Nikolai 100% calls his steel bird this. The word is of feminine gender and if you are calling a person this, it's probably more suitable for a woman.

цыпа [tsipa??] (n) or even цыпочка [tsipoch'ka] (n) - that's a chick, like a baby hen, used only to refer to women (feminine gender word). Honestly I only heard this in foreign films dubbed in Russian or like in jokes/sarcastic phrases. It's kinda rude/indecent/vulgar and the only man that can say that and stay attractive is Captain Jack Sparrow (he used this word in Russian dubbed Pirates like once maybe, talking to Elisabeth, and that was funny cuz he be crazy like that). But maybe you want this, idk.

And everything sweet

Unfortunately, I haven't seen anyone translate the word "honey" as "мёд" directly, that would be another brilliant laugh (cuz it's wrong to refer to a person like that), but there are some "sweet" words to use!

сладкий/сладкая [sladk'iy/sladkaya] (adj) - this just means "sweet", like the taste, and it can be sexy or sleazy or just cute. You can call a kid this word too, BUT for a child would be better сладенький/сладенькая [slad'en'kiy/slad'en'kaya], which is like one step further into diminutive-endearing department.

конфетка [konf'etka] (n) - this is a diminutive word for a candy, a sweet, like a caramel or chocolate or whatever. Not very common, but is cute. Also a way to describe a sexy/good-looking person (more likely a woman, the word is of feminine gender) or just something really good (a bit jokingly). The latter is usually used in a phrase build like "не ..., а просто конфетка", which is roughly translated "that's not ... that's just plain candy". Might have an actual English equivalent that I can't think of right now. Maybe "a total snack"? Probably that one, yeah. Can be said about anything, a car for example.

Shiny

I wanna stick in a few more words of endearment and they all are kinda shiny, lol, so here you go!

солнце [solntse] (n) - this means "sun", like that big glowing thingy in the sky, but it's very welcome as a term of endearment. This word is NEUTER gender (explained in the next section). Viktor Tsoy (a famous rock musician with an unfortunate fate and immortal cultural heritage) had a song ("Cuckoo" - "Кукушка") with the words "солнце моё, взгляни на меня" [solntse moyo, vzgl'yan'i na m'en'ya] (my sun, look at me), so "солнце моё" (n + adj/n) is a good one. You can also use "солнышко" [solnyshko] (n) which is an endearing version of "sun", so it's like "sunshine". Also of neuter gender! Can and should be used to address kids too.

золотце [zolottse] (n) - this literally means like... a little gold? A little golden piece? I don't think there's a proper equivalent in English. It's a word of neuter gender and it's very much used for kids too. Another version would be "золотой мой/золотая моя/золотые мои" [zolotoy moy/zolotaya moya/zolotiye moyi] (adj + adj/pronoun) - this is "my golden", it's a little less common and I feel like it's often used to be condescending, but it's not inherenrly bad, so you can use it for a loved one.

сокровище [sokrov'ish'e] (once again it's щ, look previously) (n) - this is a word of neuter gender and it means "treasure". I personally adore this one and it's pretty common. Can be used for any gender and for kids!

звёздочка [zv'yozdoch'ka] (n) - this is like a little star/starshine. Wouldn't say it's that common, but I use it a lot. The word itself is of feminine gender, but you can call anyone that! Or you can say "звезда моя" [zv'ezda moya] (n + adj/pronoun), which means "my star". Also feminine gender word, but can be used for anyone.

This dog belongs to...

I am not going to go too deep into sexy/sex-related words in this part, because I'll just get overwhelmed with the amount, but I want to go over some words of ownership quickly.

мой/моя/мои/моё [moy/moya/moyi/moyo] (adj/pronoun) - this means my/mine. It goes really well with many words in this list, especially the adjectives, like "мой дорогой" [moy dorogoy] (my darling) or "солнышко моё" [solnyshko moyo] (my sun/sunshine). The last version, "моё" [moyo] is neuter gender, it's NOT gender-neutral! It's the "it/its" I guess (not exactly, but let's just stick with this simplyfied explanation). Previously there were some words of that gender, so here you go. BTW I would say that in speech it's more common to put this word before adjectives and after nouns (like in my examples), just sounds better, but it's not wrong to do otherwsise. You can also just say "ты мой" [ti moy] (you're mine). Also can be used to refer in third person, like when you're discussing your man with your gossip girls, you can just go "а мой вчера..." [a moy vch'era] (and mine yesterday...) and everyone will understand that you mean your man. Unless you wee discussing pets, then they'll probably assume it's your cat.

хозяин/хозяйка [khoz'yain/khoz'yayka] (n) - saw this one too btw. This means "owner" or kiiiinda "master/mistress", and they are gendered, so it's actually wrong to call a woman "хозяин" unless there's some kinky genderfuckery going on (which I'm all for, but like. you get what I mean).

господин/госпожа [gospod'in/gospozha] (n) - okay, THAT is definitely master/mistress, also gendered. Standard BDSM terminology and yada yada.

And that's where I'd like to wrap up for today! However, if needed, I can write more - perhaps with curse words or with sex-related words, or some phrases? I dunno, you tell me! Once again, I kindly ask you to share since I think this will help people (and while I understand the struggle of writing in another language and especially using words from language you don't speak at all, I can't help but be a little thrown off every time I see a wrong use of words in text).

Also remember: while Siberia is bigger than USA or even Canada, there are still other regions in Russia that deserve to be mentioned <3 a lot of places with mindblowing nature, cultural heritage etc.

[saphig-iawn]

A Doll's Memory

This story is about a real session with a real subject.

Memory play leads to a beautiful discovery: a better doll.

Transcript below:

A doll of mine wanted me to play with her memory.

Memory play is such a curious thing. One might think it as simple as removing a trinket from a room when the occupant isn’t looking but memories are like plants. They have roots and are buried in soil, if you remove a plant things are left behind and the soil doesn’t return to how it was. I set these expectations with my doll but she was already onboard. She liked that there were traces, little clues to find if she was allowed to find them.

So I brought her down into trance, allowing her to drop at her pace, sinking as far as she wished while my voice guided her down. She knew she could sink, that, like a river, I would ease and direct her deeper.

She neared that point where I need to be the one to direct the depth of trance and so ribbons reached out and began to slowly wind their way around her, enveloping her in green silk. Then, five ribbons reached forth holding her aloft in this trance space, one at each ankle, one at each wrist, and one for her mind. I took scissors and cut each one, bringing each part of her under my care. The final ribbon brought her to me, onto my lap.

Her spells are held in beautiful little notebook, green ink writing each one out.

We turned to a new page and I wove a ribbon as I moved her hand to the page. I ran the ribbon between my fingers and then hers, before winding it around her pen. As I guided her hand, the ribbon began to unravel, lacing into the ink and weaving its thread into the grain of the page.

This spell would be simple. One phrase to begin to veiling, one phrase to finish the concealment. Everything between; the memories of hers I wanted to hide, to cover with cloth, to place on the tip of her tongue like a half remembered song whose name evades her attempts to voice.

The first thing I hid from her was her name. But to leave a hole there would be a tragedy, so I gave her a new name to perfectly fit that hole: Dolly. We talked about the trance, me using her new name and she did not bat a single eyelid. Her obliviousness was just so cute. I lifted the veil and she giggled and giggled.

Then I covered the way she spoke in cloth and, unbeknownst to her, she began to speak in third person. Her pronouns changed from she & her, to doll & dolly. But this sweet doll used to struggle with such a change, stumbling, correcting, like rewriting a word over and over. So, the little trick I wove beneath the veil of this borrowed memory was how the stumbling was merely her trying to think of what to say next, like the end of her sentence was yet to be decided.

Even I was not ready for what happened next. At this point we musing about making her forget spells and said the most beautiful thing, “What… what would be… Doll’s not sure what would be a good spell to forget.” Seamless. Flawless. No stumble or hitch. She was Doll. I joked that I should hide her little call and response spell and she responded “Well its already automatic anyway, the words come right out of Doll’s mouth.” I couldn’t contain myself, and had to return her memories to her. She was aglow, and I was equally as proud. Something that used to make her stumble, became second nature.

The final trick was beautiful. I hid from her that she would slowly dollify, and when the last thing left under her control was her voice, her words would dollify too reducing to nothing but “I’m a good doll.” We continued our spirited conversation, and as we did, she was unaware that she had straightened her posture. As we laughed she was unaware that she brought her feet and knees together. As I gushed about her flawless shift in pronouns she was unaware that her hands had pooled in her lap and her chest stood proudly.

Then I asked how she was feeling. All I heard back was “I’m a good doll.” Then another with a dawning realisation laced in each syllable. I could tell she was trying ask what was happening, each repetition of her sweet little phrase curled with confusion and question. Until her mouth slowed, and she was just a doll.

Pretty.

Posed.

Still.

Mine.

[wardensantoineandevka]

i haven't watched CR since CR1 - what's the status of the VM crew? Curious but i know in my heart im not watching another campaign to find out

So, I've summarized their epilogues as they play out in the finale of Campaign 3. I've tried to not editorialize and stick to facts, but as always I do recommend people check my work! You can read a transcript of the episode with this link starting at where the VM epilogues start.

Grog is an ambassador to the new Krevirian Republic on Ruidus. He and Gaz Tomo, one of the officials of the Republic and a former revolutionary who fought the prior imperial regime and who is not dissimilar in temperament to Grog, hit it off immediately. Grog has also taken to introducing himself as Grogory.

Scanlan and Cerkonos of the Fire Ashari (who was played by Robbie Daymond during C3) developed a really hilarious but actually fairly touching friendship over Cerkonos's attempts to woo Lieve'tel. Shortly after the events of C3, in the time where Pike has no duties to tend to, he asks her to spend some time adventuring with him again before they both have to hang it up for good. Pike wants to say no, but admits that she still loves him and loves spending time with him. He says they don't have to marry again, but they're probably going to get married again (again). For now, though, no labels. He also casts True Polymorph on her too, so they are both adventuring as centaurs.

Lieve'tel continues to serve as a high warden of the temple at Vasselheim. She is still out there gettin' it.

Percy, feeling that he is getting old, exacerbated by the fact that years have been very difficult and hard and stressful, and that retirement is fast approaching, has decided that he and Vex need to start thinking about preparing their children to take over some of their roles in Whitestone and the world at large. Percy wishes to try to locate the reincarnated gods before anyone, because he is paranoid about trouble starting, but Keyleth convinces him to allow this to be something the generation after him decides how best to approach and worry over. Whitestone is among those places that open themselves to Ruidian refugees, and it benefits from an increase in residuum trade in the aftermath of the shift of magic following the Rite of Catatheosis.

Vex eventually steps away from her duties alongside Percy as he gets older to spend time with him in their several vacation homes across Exandria and their cottage on Ruidus. They are mentioned to own both an Evil Babies painting by Braius and a Lavorre.

Keyleth is among the first, if not the first, to know when a god has been incarnated into the world by communing with the roots of the primordial trees throughout Exandria. She does not tell Percy.

Aside from and probably after her time with Scanlan, Pike for a long time feels a sense of loss and grief without the Everlight's presence and feels uncertain what to do with her life, so she continuously tends to the Everlight's temples until one day, fifteen years later, she receives news that the Everlight has been found.

Vax no longer carries out his duty as the Champion of Ravens alone, but now has a partner in Morrighan, perhaps with others to come in the future. Together, they are expected to eventually find and protect the incarnated Matron of Ravens. Thus, he returns to live in Exandria, with a little more vitality and color in him than before. He returns to Keyleth. She says that she has changed in the years since, and he asks to start over with no expectations. She agrees to another beginning, and they introduce themselves to one another again: "My name's Keyleth, and you're the love of my life." "If you will have me, I am yours, Keyleth of the Air Ashari."

[bunnithechubs]

insecurities out in the open.

transcript below.

C: Now what are you doing down here so early, mi amor. K:I couldn’t go back to sleep after feeding Mae. C: And your shirt? K: It got too hot so I took it off. Do you mind massage my back for me? C: Anything for you, mi amore. Least I can do after my son is putting you through it this pregnancy. K: laughs Mae’s pregnancy was so smooth. Hopefully it calms down.

C: You look beautiful like this. K: Like what? Exhausted and sleep deprived? C: No. You look beautiful when you don’t hide. You’re always wear clothes that hide this beautiful body. K: I’m … still getting used to seeing it change. I didn’t pop until third trimester with Mae. I’m already showing and we’re not even at the second trimester. C: Mi amor, you’re growing our child. Give yourself some grace and credit. K: I’m working on it with my therapist. C: And I will be here to support you and call you beautiful every day until you believe it. Hottest mom on the block. K: laughs Thanks, my love.

C: How does your back feel? K: Much better. I think I have to strengthen my back and core before giving birth. C: I can help you with that. I’ve got a few ideas. K: smacks head playfully I’m being serious! C: laughs okay, okay. We can do it whenever my dad comes over to help with Mae. K: Thank you… speaking of your dad, are you dreading seeing Vinny and him today? C: Abso-fucking-lutely. Those two are an echo chamber of bad ideas. K: I wish I could be there but I have a deposition today. If I wrap up early I can come by. K: No worries, amor. I’ll have Mae there to soften their defenses.

K: Just remember that even if they don’t listen you tried at least. C: sighs I just wish they would actually listen to me instead of thinking I’m trying to tell them what to do. I just want this fucking cycle to stop before it’s passed down to the next generation. K: Even if it doesn’t, you stopped it for Mae. Your mother would be proud of you and I think we’re slowly getting through to your dad. C: He only listens if you say something… Me? He acts like he knows what he’s doing.

K: I love that your dad is scared of me. I’ve never even given him reason to be scared of me. C: I think he’s more scared of the power you hold. If he does anything even the slightest bit toxic you would encourage me to cut him off and he knows I would do anything for you. Which means he would also lose Mae and we both know how much he adores her. K: Well tell him he either gets Vinny in check or I will be mad. C: Oh he’ll start actually parenting then.

K: Whatever the outcome, be proud that you put in that hard work and broke the cycle of broken men raising broken kids. Mae and all our future kids will not suffer the way Vinny and you did. If Vinny decides to follow that path then at least our nieces or nephews will have us to protect them. C: It’s moments like this that I thank whatever is out there that they sent you to me. K: You give me a lot of credit. C: I owe you my life, I just wish I could show you how much I love you…

K: Then how about you let your body do the talking. C: We have about an hour before Mae is up, mi amor. We’ve done nastier in less time- I have faith in you. C: I love pregnant horniness. K: Shut up and take your pants off.

[lynzishell]

Prev // Next

Transcript below the cut:

San Myshuno - Harvestfest

Atlas: Sounds like things went well in Chestnut Ridge. Dawn had a lot of fun. Phoenix: Yeah, I think we’re going to make it an annual trip. Atlas: Wow. So, things with you and your dad…? Phoenix: [nods] We’re good. Atlas: Hm.

Phoenix: What? Atlas: I’m just surprised. After everything, you’ve really forgiven him? Phoenix: Yeah, I have. Atlas: Why? What changed your mind? Phoenix: [chuckles] It was Asher, actually. Atlas: How so?

Phoenix: He called me out for being stubborn. At first, I was pissed, but that’s probably because he was right. Back then, it felt like forgiving him would be letting him off the hook. And if I’m honest, it was the same with Dawn. Staying angry and keeping my father at a distance became my way of punishing both of them. After all, if I forgave him and we all ended up one big happy family, I’d be giving her exactly what she wanted. Then, what would she have learned by going behind my back the way she did? I couldn’t just suddenly act like it was all okay.

Atlas: I get that. It’s not okay. Phoenix: It’s not. Atlas: So, what changed then?

Phoenix: I realized that it’s not my job to teach them a lesson. Who am I to dole out punishment? To decide what’s enough or when? That’s not my role in their lives, and I don’t want it to be. When I let all that go, when it was no longer clouding everything else, I realized that deep down, I miss my dad, and I don’t want to lose any more time with him.

Atlas: I guess maybe it’s worth it when there’s an actual relationship to salvage. I’d never let my parents back into my life.

Phoenix: And I wouldn’t blame you. But it doesn’t have to mean that. I think forgiving my dad just allowed me to admit that that’s what I wanted. Forgiving someone isn’t for them. It’s for you. So, if carrying the weight of anger and resentment is really affecting you, or if it’s spilling over and affecting those around you, then it’s still worth letting go of it, even if the other person doesn’t deserve it, even if you still choose not to trust them or have a relationship with them.

Atlas: You make it sound easy. Like you just make a decision and flip a switch. Phoenix: No, it’s definitely not, believe me. It is a conscious choice, but it’s not an easy one to make. And let me tell you, as hard as it was with my dad, nothing was harder than trying to forgive myself. Atlas: What did you have to forgive yourself for? You didn’t do anything wrong. Phoenix: Not with my dad, no, I just meant…

Atlas: What? Phoenix: Malcolm. Atlas: What about him? That was an accident. Phoenix: Not entirely.

Atlas: What are you talking about? Phoenix: Things didn’t happen exactly the way I told you. He didn’t slip and fall. Atlas: You…? Phoenix: [nods] I didn’t mean to. We were fighting, and I didn’t realize… but yes, it was my fault.

Atlas: Does Dawn know? Phoenix: She’s known from the beginning. I asked her not to tell anyone. Not even you. Atlas: So, why are you telling me now? Phoenix: Does it change your opinion of me?

Atlas: … [shakes his head] No. I mean, it’s horrible, but you were just a kid. I’m sure you didn’t realize what you were doing before it was too late. You wouldn’t hurt anyone. Not on purpose. I know you. Phoenix: I guess that’s why I’m telling you now.

Li: Hey guys! Happy Harvestfest!

Atlas: Li, oh my god, look at you! Li: I know, I’m enormous. Atlas: You’re stunning. How are you feeling? Li: Like one your angels is tap dancing on my bladder. Mind if we head up?

Phoenix: Yeah, let’s go, the turkey should be ready any minute. And it looks like Pepper needs a bath. Atlas: You worry about dinner; I can take care of the pup. Phoenix: You don’t have to do that. Atlas: I don’t mind.

[forsworned]

No One Noticed ft. Hesh Walker

Synopsis: Feeling lonely and disconnected, you find solace in an online gaming forum where you meet Hesh, a war veteran who secretly works as an elite member of the Ghosts task force. Despite Hesh's initial tough exterior, he's soft for you and bonds through shared gaming experiences, late-night texts, and calls. Eager to bring their digital connection into the real world, You're convinced by your newfound virtual love to fly to his city to explore a potential relationship. Will your connection flourish or go to shit?

Warnings: Canon Game Violence, Canon Violence, Sexual Content, Phone Sex, Sexting, PnV sex, Cunninglingus, Blowjob, 9.8k words

Author's note: This song makes me so emotional and who better to write this for than my love, Hesh

If you could change anything, it would be your soul-sucking day job. Typing away at transcripts behind your desk is tedious, mind-numbing, and downright exhausting. You glance at the clock—it finally reads 4:30PM. A sigh of relief escapes you as you save your work and close the tab. The hum of your old office lamp and the clatter of your keyboard are the only sounds breaking the monotony. Your eyes ache from the screen's glare, and the cold air in the office makes the warmth of your couch even more inviting.

Ping!

The chat pop-up lights up your dim screen, and you feel a sudden rush of serotonin.

MyDawgRiley99: Your day been as shitty as mine?

A soft laugh escapes you as you read his message. Since joining a gaming lobby with a group of military guys during a late-night Fortnite session, you've found yourself playing with them almost every time they invite you. You never really pried into their daily lives; you were just looking to unwind. And yet, some nights, one of them would linger after the others had logged off, not to play, but simply to talk and unwind.

And over time, you began to savor the sound of his voice, finding comfort in its deep, resonant tone. You bite your bottom lip before typing away at your keyboard:

CtrlFreak: Seems like we're both in the trenches today.

As you're about to close out the tab, his reply bubble immediately appears, and you feel your spirits lift.

MyDawgRiley99: Long day at the office?

You scoff, shaking your head. Maybe you’re sharing too much with someone you’ve only met online, but you think to yourself, If he's half as sexy as he sounds, it should be okay, right? Right??

CtrlFreak: Like you wouldn't believe. I'm two seconds away from losing it.

MyDawgRiley99: Well, let's try to fix that. Same time?

You glance at your stack of requests and exhale sharply. Falling behind on deadlines and getting chewed out by your boss isn't your idea of relaxation, but for one night, just one freakin' night...

CtrlFreak: I really shouldn't...

MyDawgRiley99: Just one match?

You snort softly. You know what that means. One match turns into five, with hours of talking in between while you sit in the lobby. Sometimes, others join, and it’s nothing but a constant roast session that leaves you craving more genuine human interaction. It’s a vicious cycle.

CtrlFreak: I'll think about it. MyDawgRiley99: Haha, I'll be waiting for ya.

You shut your laptop and press your forehead against the warm alloy. The constant burnout of your job leaves you unfocused, fatigued, and jittery from all the espresso shots you need just to stay awake.

But you decide to join anyway. He immediately joins your party the moment you load into the lobby.

"Almost thought you wouldn't hop on tonight." His voice comes through your headset, instantly relaxing you.

The corners of your lips curl into a smile. "What can I say? You've tempted me."

He chuckles, and it's flirty, light, fun, and easy. In this moment, you want nothing more than to relish the escapism that comes from the unknown soldier on the other side of your screen. Amidst your grueling workday, his voice is like a coolness that soothes your burning heart, pulling you from the depths of mundanity into a world where conversation flows as smoothly as his laughter.

You tap on your controller, trying to control the strange desire stirring within you. You have no idea what he looks like—or what any of them look like, really.

Truthfully, you never bothered to ask for names. You referred to each other by the first initial of your real names. His being 'H.'

"You wanna talk about it?" The sound of him munching on chips comes through the speaker, causing you both to laugh. "My bad."

"All good. Nah, I'm just burned out." You readjust yourself on your sofa and lean back against the cushion, closing your eyes as you savor the sound of his smooth tenor.

"I get that. Trust me."

You feel that smile returning. "Right, right."

"Well," he begins, playfully defensive at your casual dismissal. "I'm just sayin'—"

Your laughter echoes through the headset, and he sighs, the smile on his face growing at your teasing. "Always gettin’ me worked up."

"You fall for it every time." You retort. Your mirth fades, and it's quiet for a moment. You tap at your controller again, playing with the joystick as your heart begins to race. There's almost a need to ask him to reveal himself to you. After all those nights dreaming about him, you find yourself yearning to know what he looks like.

"So," he clears his throat, shaking you out of your mild daze. "um, I don't want you to feel like you have to, but..."

You sit up a bit, feeling your throat go dry at his sudden change in tone. You can literally feel the tension through the connection.

"Well, I'm just kind of curious about, you know," his voice holds hesitation, an eagerness to pry. It creates a charged silence between you. The playful teasing shifts into something more earnest, and you can almost hear the curiosity in his tone as he tries to find the right words.

"Uh huh," you playfully taunt. You can tell where this is going, and you can't help but feel exhilarated at the thought of finally knowing what he looks like.

He chuckles, and it sends a thrill up your spine. "Uhhhh," he awkwardly laughs again, and you join in. The smile on your lips stretches broadly across your face, making your cheeks sore.

"I mean, we've been talking on here for months, so I'm just curious about how you look, you know?" He sighs. "Aren't you?"

You giggle at the apprehensiveness in his voice. "Seems like it's been weighing on your mind."

"Something like that." He clears his throat. "Obviously, it can stay this way. No pressure."

You scratch your head, feeling trepidation seeping into your bones. It isn't a now-or-never moment. You could simply say no or maybe another time, but you feel this irresistible pull from him. You think that even if he isn't the most attractive guy, it's not the end of the world...

"Okay." You simply say.

"Really!?" He exclaims, and you laugh at his enthusiasm. It's endearing, really. It's the lack of a social life that's really doing it for you. You think that maybe if you started going on Hinge again, you wouldn't have this problem of getting emotionally attached to men in Fortnite lobbies. But all of that falls into the back of your mind as you return to the present.

You're a bit tentative, but the words naturally come out. "Sure, I'm curious too." You breathe out, fiddling with the wire of your headphones between your fingers. There are dents from the hours you’ve spent on your console, talking to him during the late hours of the night.

"Yeah?" The way he says it sends a thrill up your spine again. You just know this man is sexy. Dammit.

"Yeah." You reply, almost reluctantly, as you walk over to your desktop and pull up your Discord server. Your cursor hovers over the video chat button, but he pings himself in, and you reflexively close the tab.

"What the fuck?" He laughs, and you crumble at his reaction, hiding your face in your hands.

Your heart pounds as you feel warmth crawl into your cheeks. "I'm sorry!"

He's still laughing at your reaction. You can't tell if it's because he thinks it's funny how quickly you exited or if he finds you as endearing as you find him.

"Are you shy?" He asks, still chuckling. You swallow thickly, not wanting to answer immediately. It's been far too long since you've been in the dating scene, and you’ve forgotten the simple pleasure of face-to-face flirting, reading the micro-expressions of the person across from you. To you, it was like a game—analyzing the strain on their face when you talk about your interests instead of your kinks, the bounce of their thighs when you're not throwing back sexual banter, or the way you check to see if they bear their teeth at you when they smile. It was easier knowing he was just a voice, but now it seems like he's reeling you in for more, and you find yourself struggling to say no.

You didn't want to deal with the high highs and the low lows anymore. The boring simplicity of a quiet relationship is what you craved, but a military man? That's tumultuous, grueling even. You didn't want to go back to nights of crying yourself to sleep over a man who refused to take your calls or reply to your texts because of their emotional distance and lack of therapy. But you're craving attention, and he's so willing to give it to you.

You groan at his reaction. "Fine," you grumble as you open the chat again and nibble your lip, lingering over the tab that shows he's active.

"No pressure," he teases, a hint of mischief in his tone. It's daring, and you’re no coward. You click the tab, joining the video call, and your heart races as you wait for it to load, stripping off your headset.

And then there he is, swaying in his gaming chair, his face lighting up when you enter the call.

"Oh shit," he grins, and you cover your mouth to hide the joy in your expression because he's fucking hot. The grittiness of the webcam blurs his handsome features, but you can still make out the sharpness of his jawline, the intensity of his viridian eyes, and the darkness of his short-cropped hair. He strokes the stubble on his cheeks, not even bothering to hide his obvious attraction. He's brunette, rugged, and attractive enough to make you want to buy a lottery ticket because you can't believe your luck. "What's up, girl?”

You feel the color drain from your face at his tone, and you quickly wave in the most awkward fashion. He looks even more amused. You realize you're not used to being looked at this way by men, and your shyness catches him off guard. "What's the matter?"

You shake your head. "N-nothing," you stammer, fiddling with the wire again. The momentary distraction of your desk lamp is all that keeps you from looking at him directly.

"Come on, don't be shy now," he coos, smiling so widely that it almost makes you want to melt into your chair.

You stare at the small thumbnail of yourself on the screen, feeling somewhat more exposed than you're used to. After a few seconds, you finally allow yourself to look at him again.

"I don't know," you laugh. "I wasn't expecting you to look like that."

"Oh yeah?" He chuckles, and you catch a glimpse of his dimples. "What were you expecting, then?"

"An ogre," you joke.

He throws his head back, laughing. "Damn, you really had no faith in me." he jokes back, and you're both nervously giggling at your first video chat. It’s awkward in all the right ways. The tension between you increases, but it’s different now. The curtain of anonymity you both sought on this platform has been lifted.

You shake your head, still bashful from his handsomeness. It irritates you. One hot guy gives you attention, and you're falling to your knees.

"Not one bit." You tuck your lips into your mouth, and he leans his chin on his palm, admiring the details of your face. You're just not ready to admit your attraction yet. You’d rather let it linger in the air, maybe make him pine for your compliments.

There's another pause as the playful banter fades into a softer, more charged silence. The tension hangs in the air, neither of you quite sure what to say next. You chew your lip, still somewhat unsure of how you want this to go. But before you can overthink it, he speaks up again.

"So... maybe we could meet up sometime?" His voice is tentative, like he's not quite ready for your answer.

You blink, taken aback. "Oh, um," you bite your bottom lip, feeling the tension in your shoulders. "That sounds cool."

His smile widens, and there's something almost boyish in his excitement. "Yeah?"

You nod, giving him a shy smile. "Yeah."

"Alright then," he grins. "Let's see where this goes."

He sways in his chair again and grins. "So, did you wanna talk about it?"

And that’s the start of long conversations over the phone—your actual phone—after he asks for your number, and you coyly give it to him. More often than not, he's testing the limits of your humor with dark memes, sending you selfies and mirror pics in his uniform that you shamelessly drool over, and FaceTiming you during his night shifts to keep him company while you sprawl out on your bed.

In his downtime, he shamelessly fists at his dick at the mere thought of you. Those pretty lips on his leaking tip, licking up the precum that oozes out and coats the plushness of your flesh. He wonders how you taste, what makes you moan, because at this point it’s obvious you’re both really into each other. Neither of you wants to break the ice—you simply enjoy the flirting and the cutesy banter. He loves the way you giggle at his stupid jokes and how you seem to show a little more skin the more calls you have.

Like when you get up from your seat, and instead of wearing your usual sweats, you’re now sporting a pair of curve-hugging plaid shorts and a flimsy tank top with straps that are always slipping off your shoulders. And it’s painfully obvious when he flares his nose playfully at you and glances away. Maybe there’s a subtle gesture of him adjusting himself, and you throw your head back, not bothering to hide the delight in your laughter.

"You know what you're doing," he quips, drumming his fingers on his work table.

You lean back in your chair and fiddle with the squishy cactus stress toy, stretching out the arms and letting them go with a pop. "I have no idea what you’re talking about," you chime with a giggle.

His eyes fall on your braless figure, cleavage spilling out of the V-shaped collar, tracing the outline of your nipples that peak through the sheer fabric.

"Yes, you do," he insists, gripping the hem of his compression shorts as they strain against his throbbing dick.

There’s a glimmer of mischief in your eye. "And what's that?"

He doesn’t miss a beat. "Being a sexy little vixen." His eyes roam your body again, and you hide your burning face. God, his directness was always so sexy to you. He never bothered to hide the way he felt. Especially when he would heart every selfie you sent him, throwing praises your way like you were the only woman in the world.

"You're not foolin’ me," he presses on, grabbing his planner and clicking his pen as he begins to jot something down.

Your curiosity piques. "What are you doing?"

He chuckles. "Wouldn’t you like to know?" He provocatively glances up at you. "I’m writing down the dates that I’m off."

"For?"

"When I meet you."

Your eyes widen at his boldness, and a shy smile graces your lips. "Meet me?" Your heart picks up its rhythm, and you’re trying your hardest not to get too giddy about it.

He taps his metal pen against the paper, leans back in his chair, and licks his lips. "Is that a problem?"

You hadn’t expected him to be so forward about meeting you. Fuck, he looks so damn edible when he manspreads, looking nonchalant and relaxed. He can sense your yearning but also your hesitation.

He leans forward again, sincerity coming easy to him. "Look," he begins, wanting to comfort you, to assure you he won’t take advantage of you, but he knows it’s a privilege to be in your presence.

"I know you’ve probably heard this a million times: 'You won’t get hurt, you can trust me.' And I know it’s an absolute luxury to even exist alongside you."

That makes you blush. It’s so easy to tell that he was raised right.

"But this," he gestures between the two of you, "I want to know if it’s real. There’s only so much I can tell from behind a screen."

You understand what he means. The essence of a person—their aura, their charisma—is so much more tangible and real when you meet them in person. Seeing their quirks, their habits, feeling their energy. It’s different.

"I know you know what I mean."

You nod. "I do." You lick your lips, searching for the right response. There’s really no doubt in your mind that you want to meet him. I mean, for God's sake, he's mouthwatering. The way his abs peek out from under his loose shirt when he stretches, the playful way he flexes his taut biceps, his calloused hands hardened from war and long hours at the gym. He's just delectable all around.

But are you willing to take the leap?

Somehow, you're still asking yourself that as you peer out the window of the airplane. Your ticket is paid for—first class, with all the accommodations…it’s like a dream.

The landscape below is a patchwork of rebuilt cities and scarred land, signs of a world that has been through hell but is clawing its way back.You can’t help but wonder if this is a glimpse into the future you’re stepping into. A life beyond the screen, in a world where the remnants of war are slowly being overtaken by new growth, where hope is becoming tangible again.

The plane touches down smoothly on a newly restored runway, and as you step into the terminal, you’re greeted by the sight of soldiers, workers, and civilians mingling in a place that once might have been a warzone. Your heart races with anticipation, nervousness, and a hint of something deeper. This isn’t just about meeting him—it’s about stepping into a world that both of you are trying to find your place in.

He’s waiting for you just outside the baggage claim, leaning casually against a pillar. The grittiness of the webcam is replaced by the crisp reality of his presence. The sharpness of his jawline, the vividness of his eyes, and the way his uniform fits him perfectly—it all hits you at once. You realize that you weren’t fully prepared for how striking he’d be in person.

The moment stretches between you, just like it did during your video calls, but now there’s no screen to hide behind. His eyes roam over you, drinking in every detail as if he’s trying to memorize you all over again. And then, with a grin that sends a shiver down your spine, he steps forward.

“Hey,” he says, his voice lower and more resonant in person, sending a thrill through you.

“Hey,” you reply, trying to keep your cool, but the way your voice trembles gives you away.

His grin widens, and he reaches out, his hand brushing against yours. The touch is electric, sending sparks through your body. He notices the way you react and chuckles softly, not even trying to hide his satisfaction.

“You’re just as pretty as I imagined,” he says, his bluntness making your cheeks heat up.

“You’re not too bad yourself,” you manage to tease, though your heart is pounding in your chest.

He laughs, a sound that’s warm and genuine, and it eases some of the tension between you. He leans into you, enveloping you into a warm embrace and you easily return it as you snake your arms around his neck. The smell of his aftershave engulfs your senses and you relax into his touch. “Come on, let’s get out of here,” he says, withdrawing from you to grab your bag effortlessly as he leads you toward the exit.

Outside, the air is fresher than you expected, a sign that nature is beginning to reclaim the earth. The city around you is a mix of new constructions and old ruins. It’s almost nothing like the California you remember. He leads you to a sleek, black SUV and opens the passenger door for you.

As you settle into your seat, you glance at him as he climbs in, feeling a mix of emotions. This is the man you’ve spent hours talking to, flirting with, and getting to know through a screen. Now he’s here, real and tangible, and the chemistry between you is undeniable.

He catches you staring and smirks, reaching over to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “You alright?” he asks, his voice soft but with an edge of excitement.

You nod, your heart racing with anticipation. “Yeah,” you nervously avert your gaze and nod. “Yeah, I think I am.”

Hesh nods, giving you a reassuring smile. “So, here’s the plan,” He hands you the aux cord. And you grin as you take it from him. “We’re gonna head back to the base,”

He sees you visibly stiffen. “But,” And you raise your brows waiting for him to continue. “We’re going back to my place after we check you in.”

You let out a sigh of relief and he laughs, as he watches you plug your phone in and shake your head. 

“Come on, you know that I live off base.” Hesh occasionally glances over at you, as if making sure you’re comfortable while you shuffle through your playlist. He seems to be the picture of calm, but you can sense the underlying tension that lingers between you two.

You say nothing and end up settling on a song you both love (mostly you).

You should stay real close to Jesus Keep that bottle at your hand, my man

He chuckles at your pick, and reaches over to hold your hand. A wave of comfort washes over you. “Go ahead. Tell me I’m Lana coded for the hundredth time.”

You giggle at him and sit up a bit. “You are!”

He shakes his head and lets the song play, humming along to the tune and you’re actively burning it into your mind. It’s something you want to remember every detail of. The way he squeezes your hand while the other is on his steering wheel, tapping his finger at the steering wheel. How thick his dark lashes are, how pretty his viridian hues are when they peek over at you to make sure you’re real and not a figment of his imagination.

As you approach the base, the outer level is a standard Marine military facility, with its usual array of buildings and vehicles. It’s not completely unknown to you. It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve been on a military base. Military personnel pinlines the large metal gate and one of the guards approaches the vehicle as Hesh fishes out his ID.

“Alright, here’s the deal,” Hesh says as you pull up to the guard. “I’ll have to check you in at the visitor’s center first. They don’t let civilians past this point without clearance.”

You nod, trying to hide your nerves as he pulls into a parking lot near the visitor’s center. He senses your apprehension and turns fully to you, gently grasping your hand. “Hey,” He reaches out to cup your chin, and your breath catches in your throat. His earthy green eyes are trained on you. “God, you’re so pretty.” His fingers gently trace your chin, and you fluster under his fixed gaze. “We’re gonna be outta here in no time, and we’ll spend the whole week together, m’kay?”

“Okay.” You squeeze his hand back, and he brings your wrist to his lips, placing a yearning kiss to your skin. It feels as if it were searing to the touch.

Hesh escorts you into the visitor center, a space designed for civilians to wait while military personnel handle their business. He gives you a reassuring smile before heading to the more secure parts of the base. You watch as he disappears into the maze of corridors, leaving you with a mix of excitement and nervousness.

After what feels like an eternity, Hesh returns, his face relaxed and his eyes bright. “All set,” he says, offering you his hand. “Let’s get out of here.”

You take his hand, and he leads you back to the SUV. The tension between you two is almost palpable, but it’s softened by the warmth of his touch and the promise of time together away from the base.

The scenery changes to one of a regular suburban neighborhood.  From the white picket fences to the restaurants that line the streets to the long lines of cypress and palm trees, you wouldn’t even know the difference. 

“Oh my God, there’s a Taco Bell!” You point out and Hesh laughs at the incredulousness in your tone. 

“Yeah, it’s like any other cookie cutter neighborhood.” He turns into a cul de sac, pulling into the driveway of the biggest home on the block. It’s a mediterranean style home, classic red roof tiles, a stucco exterior with metal work accents. There’s personal touches of greenery, succulents in various sized terracotta pots, a handful of olive trees and wildflowers that maze around the stone path. 

“This is cookie cutter!?” You exclaim, as he helps you out of the vehicle. “You have a sweet crib.”

He smirks at you, carrying your suitcase with one hand and your hand in the other. “Just wait til you see the inside.”

And somehow the interior is much more obnoxiously cozy and earthy. It’s truly a delight to be in a home where beachy tones of seafoam green, turquoise and cerulean are the main color scheme. It really makes you feel like you're on vacation. 

“...and if you’re really down, we can go to the beach…[name]?” He calls out to you and your wandering eyes land back on him. He grins at you, closing the space between you two. “You listenin’?”

“Not really,” You shamelessly admit. “Your place is lovely. Like something out of a magazine.”

He chuckles as he moves past you to climb up the winding staircase with your carry-on and suitcase. “Play your cards right, and this could be yours, too.”

You turn around ripping out of your stupor, “Huh?”

“Nothin’.” He softly snorts, and you follow him the stairs as he shows you to his room. He gives you the option of the guest bedroom or his. You notice little things around the home that paths the walls, small trinkets, memorabilia and photo frames of family members. It all looks different in person, even if he’s given you a house tour over FaceTime.

Peeking into his room, you notice how everything is neatly organized, band posters of Creed, Papa Roach and the like are hung up on his forest green walls. A diffuser runs on his nightstand and it smells like something between sandalwood and amber vanilla. He’s taken all the necessary precautions to make you feel homey.

“Your room.” You smile at him, and he’s more than eager to please. The conversation flows just as easy as it does in person, even as you tell him to turn around while you strip down to get into your bikini.

He promised you all the beach time you could get, and despite the minor jetlag that nags at your slightly foggy mind, you were in the mood to sunbathe. Bonus that you get to show off your summer bod and Hesh is more than willing to peel off his shirt for some much needed skin-to-skin. Even if he can just wrap his taut, tanned arm around your waist to claim you, he’s just happy to be in your company.  

“So, what about the others?” you cock a brow at him, as he flagrantly eyes your figure while you build a sandcastle.

He shakes his head and scoffs, viridian hues trailing down the exposed parts of your skin. “Others?”

You tuck your finger under his chin, signaling for him to look at you and not ogle your body. “Yeah, your other teammates that we play with?”

“Oh right…” He gets lost in your eyes and the way they softly crinkle when you smile, followed by the melodic sound of your laughter and he can’t help but to laugh with you. “They don’t need to know you’re here. Besides, they’re preoccupied.”

You tilt your head. “With?”

He pauses. There’s vacillation behind the earthiness of his eyes. A certain type of secrecy that goes beyond the typical confidentiality that comes with being in the military. “Just stuff.”

“Okay,” You shake your head, not wanting to interrogate him. In the past, he had mentioned that a lot of the things he does out in the field require the utmost discretion and you’re not one to scruple around and find out.

You’d done enough research and background checks to know that he was a military brat, a veteran, has a dog named Riley (whom he misses terribly, but had to go on an op with his brother, Logan), and is oddly passionate about sourdough starters. He’s always open to answering your questions that don’t revolve around his work, which again you’re not entitled to know but you couldn’t say you weren’t the least bit intrigued.

The rest of the day plays out like a dream. Not a single one of your vivid, maladaptive daydreams could touch this. From the way he carries you to the waters of the Pacific Ocean and you cling to him with sea salt in your hair to the way your first kiss sends a thrill of pure electricity up your spine as the sunsets. His lips are soft, plush and salty from the water, and his fingers and hands are as calloused and rough as you had imagined them.

And you literally can’t get enough of him. Especially when he just can’t seem to keep his hands off of you. Seriously, like you need a crowbar to pry them off because he’s attached to the hip. Of course, he lets you go when you need to rinse off the beach from your skin in his shower, but he can’t help but let his thoughts wander. Your wet, naked untouched body just standing under his enclosure he’s installed in the backyard like you’re waiting to be ravaged by him. 

Because dammit that’s what you want. To have him slip in, wrap his strong arms around your waist, pebbling your nipples between his fingertips as he kisses at your neck and bends you over--

“Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just gonna wait here for as long as you need.” He sarcastically remarks over the sound of the running water. You giggle at the playfulness in his tone.

“Oh, I’ll take all night, baby.” You scrub at your skin with the loofa he gave you, watching as the soap becomes sudsy white foam that covers your body. And he accidentally gets a glimpse through the cracks in the bamboo casting and--Lord have mercy on his soul. If it weren’t for the body wash he’d given you from earlier, you’d be all exposed to him.

“Don’t tempt me.” He mutters, sitting on the nearby bench just outside of the shower, fiddling with his drawstrings of his swimming trunks. It’s a failed attempt at trying to quell his dirty thoughts of you and keep his wandering eyes away from the little opening he can see you through.

You swallow thickly as you exfoliate your back, but your arms are sore from trying to get back into shape before meeting with him. It wouldn’t be the worst thing to propose…

“You wanna wash my back for me?”

There’s a pause. The weight of your words and the heavy silence is agonizing, leaving you in regret and pre-dejection. 

“You sure?” He says a bit too quietly, and you hear the sound of his feet shifting against the sandstone. 

You lick your lips and nod. “Yeah, I mean only if you want to…”

He chuckles, “don’t have to ask me twice.” And you hear the scuffling of his feet hitting the grit of the sandy covered stone floor. You hold your breath as he pads on the bamboo panels over to you, and you hear the distinct sharp inhale the moment he gets a full glimpse of you. You feel your shyness overcome you knowing you are now completely bare to him, but the sound of his wet swimming trunks being casted to the side makes you flinch. 

His warmth and his scent casts a shadow over your mind as he envelops you with his arms, taking the soapy loofa from your hands. You can feel his heart drumming against his chest as your shaky breaths mingle for a bit, but the bristles scrub at your upper and lower back preoccupy your mind. You can feel how he squeezes the soap down the swell of your ass and gets to work again.

“I said, my back.” You susurrate, half turning to him and he smirks. 

“My bad, should I stop?” He presses his lips against your shoulder and peeks up at you with dampened dark lashes. You shudder at his touch. It had been long, too long. His touch is making the pyre in your lower belly ignite and you can’t help but lean your weight against him, exposing your neck to him. “I need you to use your words, sweetheart…”

You whine at his pressing need for verbal confirmation. “No, don’t stop.” He hums against your skin and he gently exfoliates over the peaks of your breast, concentrating on how they pebble under his touch. He experimentally thumbs over the hardened bud, tweaking it between his fingers as he kisses the sweet spots on your neck. It’s a pleasurable feeling that leaves you tingly and throbbing. 

You can feel his hardening length pressing against your ass and you gently brush your fingers against it, and he reflexively bucks his hips. “Eager, are we?”

“I could say the same for you!” You chirp, and his laughter reverberates against your back. He gently takes your chin to face him, and he glances down at your flustered gaze before softly latching his lips to yours. His hands, however, do not stop moving. They’re roaming over the expanse of your breast, squeezing at your thighs as he continues to kiss and squeeze you. 

It’s fucking hot the way he can’t help but intermingle his moans with you, whispering your name as he finally slips his fingers between your thighs. And you glance up at him with a half-lidded gaze, lips parted and scrunched brows. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck…

He’s totally melting under your fervent gaze, and the sweet, sweet feeling of your velvety folds against the rough pads of his fingers. 

“Oh, fuck…David…” You gasp, lolling your eyes to the back of your skull. His dick isn’t even in you yet and yet, his fingers are doing more for you than any other man. It’s so easy for him to work both of his fingers into you as he uses his palm to rub at your clit.

“My God, you are so wet.” He croaks, thrusting his fingers into you, past your g-spot and to press against your cervix and you collapse against him when you feel your orgasm practically jump you. He feels you spasm against him, walls fluttering against his fingers and presses his lips against yours again, taking in every one of your little moans and gasps. 

And after you’ve caught your breath, there’s a flash of amusement that takes over his handsome features. “I didn’t think you’d cum so quickly.” He tenderly kisses your shoulder, and then your cheek and up to your hair. You feel your cheeks burn, silently cursing him for his agile fingers, but the humiliation is over in seconds when you turn your body to press flush against his. 

The kiss is electrifying, adrenaline shoots through you and you’re craving more and more of him. His lips part from yours for an instant and he tucks the dampened strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Not everything all at once, sweetheart.” He grins, and your jaw slightly drops at his taunting. He bites his lips at the disbelief in your expression. He wants to ensure that you know that he’s not in it for the quick fuck, that you’re more than that to him. That he’s more than happy to please you, but the sex part. He wants to wait a little. Make sure that you’re really comfortable and you’re not feeling like you’re being coerced into it. 

You sigh as you surf through the 1000s of channels he has on 70 inch plasma screen TV while he takes a long ass piss. Like seriously, this man drinks water by the gallon. But you’re content. You’re sitting on the end of his bed, clad in his Nike hoodie that sits oversized on your body and he’s quietly admiring you from the bathroom door way.  He’s wondering how he got so damn lucky. 

He silently treks over to where you’re perched over the bed, and squats in between your legs, snaking his strong arms against you. His eyes hold an earnest expression, “I can’t believe we met over a Fortnite lobby.”

And that causes you to giggle and rehash all the late night matches you’ve had together, how he’s listened to you pour your heart out to him about all of your troubles and even Venmo’d you a handful of times out of the kindness of his heart.

He watches how your eyes droop, and how any minute you’re about to knock out cold. And soon he’s ushering you under the covers, snug as a bug under his cotton-linen sheets. He joins you from behind, the scent of you is overwhelming and he nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck. The floral, musky scent of your shampoo is interwoven into your hair paired with your soft snores, easily helping him drift into a deep sleep. 

And when you wake up in the morning it still doesn’t settle in. Not when you wake up to him sleepily rubbing his eyes and peering up at you with that damn grin of his, not when you’re beside him brushing your teeth over his sink and definitely not when you’re sitting across from him on the kitchen bar as he makes you breakfast with nothing but his grey sweats barely hanging off his hips.

It’s cute. The way you two feed each other pancakes and eggs, and how you share the equal feeling of bafflement when you’re facing each other, unable to undo the heap of twisted limbs. Despite his lack of interest in having you meet his teammates yesterday, he wants nothing more than to show you off. In fact, that’s all he does when he’s holding your hand out in the shopping area, buying you anything you happen to say is cute or that you try on that’s very much to his liking. 

He’s getting stopped by soldiers who are also meandering through the streets of San Diego and word gets around fast because soon the crew knew about your sudden appearance all over his Instagram story and the group chat is poppin'.

Logan: No way you flew her out here… Keegan: Kids’, got balls Merrick: I’ll have a word with you when we get back Kick: Wait…who is this again?

“I’m assuming they’re taking it well?” 

He hears your musing voice, and he tears away his gaze from his phone screen to look at you with a beguiled expression. He can’t help but be giddy, as he watches you pad over to him in nothing but his t-shirt, coffee in hand as you take your seat in his lap like it’s reserved just for you. And it feels so natural to have you in his arms like this. You fit so perfectly against him and he’s having to dent his skin with half crescents in an effort to ensure he’s not dreaming.

But reality strikes at you again when you realize that even though you are on vacation, you’re still getting email notifications of transcript requests nearing their deadlines. Your mood shifts and he peeks over at your phone screen, taking your hand in his as he brushes the hair from your face. 

“Is there anything that I can do to make you feel better?”

And that single question is enough to ignite the balmy feeling between your thighs. Your lips instantly find his as you straddle his lap on the love seat, and a small sound of surprise followed by pleasure emits from him, soon finding themselves latching to the side of his throat and he’s threading his fingers through your hair. 

You find yourself returning the favor, slipping your fingers under the waistband of his boxers as your tug at his hardened cock. Vulgarities skid past his mouth as he tries his damned best to fixate those pretty green eyes on you, but they right open when he sees you’ve settled between his thighs. Your plush lips against his aching, swollen tip. 

A groan leaves his lips as you do nothing but tease him with the tip of your tongue before taking him wholly into your mouth, but he doesn’t want to cum yet. He wants to have experienced you fully. So he’s lifting you off the carpet and laying you on the cushion, spreading you wide and dick throbs at your glistening pussy before immersing himself in it. And God, his tongue is as heavenly as his fingers are. He’s not shy at all when it comes to lapping you up like it’s his last meal, shaking you out so he can get even more of you. 

The sounds of his slurping are loud and lewd, humming against your clit right before he inserts his fingers into you and you’re quick to ride out your climax, grabbing at the short dark locks of his hair as you grind against his lips. He doesn’t even move off of you, the sensation of you writhing beneath him as you try to pry him off arouses him, but he obliges when you begin to whine. 

He lets go with a pop, your arousal drips down his chin and you welcome him back with a deep kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue as he pushes you further down onto the couch. You don’t want to stop, you crave him far too much in this instance to halt his actions. Especially when you’re realizing that he’s naked now, and you’re left in only his shirt. But his fingers are dancing over your stomach, reflexively dipping in at his touch until he gets to the peaks of your breasts. 

The fabric lifts off your body and he takes you in. “You’re seriously so stunning, [name].”

You like that he says your name. Not just some generic pet name like baby, or babe. It means something to you, to him. That you’re not just an object for his sexual gratification and you liked that.

You instantly fluster under his gaze, pupils blown leaving only the remnants of his sage green eyes. “Thank you.” You finally muster up the words after what feeling like forever. He rips his gaze from you and the thought finally comes to him. “Um,” He eyes flicker toward the staircase and then at you. “Upstairs.”

“Right.” 

--

You chew on your lip and the anticipation builds between you as he takes your hand and leads you upstairs, giggling as you scoot on his cool bed sheets, and you feel the warmth of his hard body against yours. He leans over to his nightstand and it feels like a millennia before he fishes out a condom. You peek over to look at the box and the receipt is still attached to it, brand new which explains why he was fiddling with the cardboard for so long.

“Just for me?” You chime and he pokes his tongue in his cheek, trying to hold back his grin while he tears open the foil with his teeth and rolls the latex over his hardened length. His forearms are on either side of your head.

“You think I’m just out here layin’ pipe? Of course I just bought them.” He bashfully scratches his neck and you can’t help but laugh at his sheepish grin. You lift your head and cup his stubbly cheeks to bring him into a fiery kiss and he quickly returns it, feeling his cocking enfolding at your entrance. 

You gasp at the way his length brushes against your weepy folds. “Please.” You murmur between kisses and he dithers for a second, searching your expression for any hint of uncertainty. But you’re all there, determined and in desperate need for his touch. 

“Are you sure?” He whispers, and you frantically nod. He chuckles at your insistence and he aligns himself with your sopping core, gently prodding into you until he bottom’s out and you’re both already gasping. The saccharine feeling of being filled up is unmatched, especially when the guy that’s in you is the one you’ve been dreaming about for months. 

And you don’t want him to go slow. No, that doesn’t feel like an option right now. Not after how long you feel like you’ve waited for this moment. Overwrought with desire, your fingers dig into the supple flesh of his ass and he lets out a broken whimper in the form of your name. And he seems to get the hint because he’s quickly ramming into you, your hips connect in a frenetic manner, but it’s so so so good. 

His viridian eyes are reaming at the sight of your dulcet features quickly melting into a lewd expression and milky moans that spill out from your lips. He kisses you haphazardly wanting nothing more but to make you cum and trust that you’re nearly there. He’s hitting all the right places and his lower abdomen is rubbing your puffy clit in just the right way. 

One hand on your hip and the other makes its way to wrap around your throat and, oh God, that look in his eyes and you’re totally done for. His name is clawing its way out from your throat as you feel the maddening rolls of passion drowning your soul with rapture, exposing your neck as you swell with a sigh and falter with a shudder that cascades up and down your body. Kiss after blissful kiss and Hesh feels every ripple in your body. It’s the catalyst of his peak, breaking under the pressure of your pulsating walls and convulsing body. 

It’s the warmth of your neck as his teeth latch onto the sensitive skin, your strangled cries, your labored breaths that make it feel like his orgasm was flaring red, white and blue. You watch in awe as all the dewy green in his eyes fall golden like little stars in the sunlight peeking through his blinds. You’re both panting, melting into each other, and laughter spills from your lips as you hold one another closely. And the adoration seeps out of his bones when he notices that he’s springing back to life and you’re quick to respond to his passion.

And you don’t even know how many hours it’s been. Between refueling breaks and trips to the bathroom, you literally can’t keep your hands off each other. You begin to lose count of all the positions he’s putting you in, but you know one thing for sure--it’s gonna hurt like a bitch in the morning.

Hesh can hardly shake you awake. You’re all wrapped up in his arms, sharing the same covers and he breathes you in as you nuzzle into his neck not wanting to move from your cozy position. He stares at the ceiling, counting the stars he’s placed in the form of all the constellations he knows. Holding you like this and feeling the warmth constantly spread through his chest when he takes a little peek at you. It’s driving him nuts. 

If he were being honest with you right now, he’d say that he’s done searching. That he’s found the one. But of course, he knows that you’re accustomed to the 1-2, hit-and-run, cum-and-go lowly standard of men who have fed you the same bullshit, so he reserves on that. 

Your eyes flutter open and a sleepy smile stretches across your cute features, and he brushes away the strays to gather as much of your visage that he can. 

“Sleep well?”

“I slept amazing.” You stretch your limbs like a cat down to the spread of your toes, but you feel the dull ache in your muscles and groan. “You must’ve put me in every position imaginable.”

A repentant smile plays on his lips as the warmth sidles into his cheeks. “You never complained.”

“Shut up.” You mimp, and he chuckles at the way you purse your lips and puff your cheeks at him. 

Hesh's heart tightens as he watches how your face contorts into one of sadness, the reality of your limited time together gnaws at the both of you. You wish that you could both freeze this moment—just you, him, and the quiet morning light filtering through the linen curtains. But time, as always, marches on, and soon enough, the outside world will come knocking and you’ll have to go back to your boring desk job and he’ll have to go back on his confidential ops.

"You know," he begins, his voice soft, "we've still got a few more days. How about we make the most of them?"

Your eyes meet his, and there's a flicker of understanding. You both know that this time together is precious, and neither of you wants to waste a single second. The romance between you two is budding rapidly and you want nothing more than to cling to him, getting lost in the small blip of time that you will forever cherish.

"I'm all in," you reply, your voice firm despite the lingering exhaustion from last night’s activities. "What do you have in mind?"

A mischievous grin spreads across his face as he pulls you closer, his hand resting on the small of your back. "How about a lazy day? We could just stay in my bed,” he caresses the exposed part of your tummy, leaving a wake of gooseberries, “order some take out,” he nips at your earlobe and you sigh at his touch. “and see where the day takes us."

You laugh softly, the sound like music to his ears and you clasp your arms around his neck. It’s odd. You both feel like at any given moment either one of you will vanish into thin air and you’ll wake up alone in your loft on the other side of the country. "I think that sounds perfect."

For a moment, you both fall silent, simply enjoying the comfort of being close. But the weight of the week ticking away lingers in the air, a reminder that this isn't your everyday life. It's a bubble, fragile and fleeting.

He leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Whatever happens after this week... we'll figure it out, okay?" His heart tugs at the brimming tears in your eyes. He knows you’re trying to withhold all your pent up feelings and he wants nothing more than to help you squash the negativity that holds more space in your brain than it should.

You nod, your hand finding his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Yeah, we will." And you mean that.

With that, the two of you settle back into the warmth of the covers, letting the world outside wait a little longer. For now, it's just the two of you, and that's more than enough. 

And just as you two had expected, the week flies by like it’s nothing. Days, afternoons and evenings of lovemaking, dancing on the beach, and him expertly instructing you on how to make the perfect sourdough loaf. How you whisper to each other about your deepest, darkest secrets. And he finds himself opening up to you about how he’s always felt like his neglectful upbringing made him slightful resentful and hardened. Oh how the tears flow at the admission that follows. 

You learn that Hesh thinks he’s everything that his father is not, how his brother, Logan is the Golden Pony boy but he doesn’t blame him for it. How sometimes he wants to push away his little brother more than anything, but he’s all he got left. Your heart aches at the thought of him keeping all of these emotions pent up, so you listen to him and hold him tight; dewy eyed, tear stained and puffy. 

These were the types of memories you wanted to create with your dream partner. It’s whimsical, light yet heavy, but not uncomfortable. It’s like eating the most luscious dessert, but its weight holds pleasantly in your stomach. 

But it leads you back to where you had initially met. The airport.

The hustle and bustle is muted as the both of you sit next to each other, snugged up as he traces patterns onto your jeans in an attempt to calm you. He doesn’t want you to leave. In his mind he’s already thinking of all the time you’re going to spend in the future--and you? 

You’re already withdrawing. You’re thinking that there’s no way in hell that this will thrive. Living in two different parts of the country was not ideal for a budding relationship. For an online friendship, sure, but this easily became more than that.

“Hey,” He nudges you, and your eyes flicker up to meet him. He can sense how your energy has changed, and how you’re detaching from him and he hates it. “Stop that.” He makes you face him and your eyes are distant.

“Stop what?”

His stomach lurches. The doubt creeps back into your mind, and you feel yourself succumbing to the emptiness that you’ll endure when you get back. You’re trying to protect yourself from the inevitable heartbreak and pain of saying goodbye and he sees right through it. His eyes soften, but he’s determined to shake you out of your gloomy state.

“Stop thinking this won’t work,” he says firmly, continuing to draw the patterns into the fabric of your jeans. “I can see it written all over your face, and trust me, I get it. But we’ve got something here--something real, tangible.” His voice falters just slightly as he racks his brain to find the right words. “I’ve been thinking a lot about this…about us.”

The life in your eyes returns a bit more and he knows he has you hooked onto his words that causes your heart to skip a beat.

“This week…it’s been everything I’ve imagined and more.” He cringes slightly at the corniness of his words, and you can’t help but chuckle a little. He’s being so sincere, and you feel yourself choking up. “And I know we’ve just met, but I feel so comfortable with you.” He rolls his eyes a bit at his own words. “Like I’ve known you forever.” And you giggle again, nodding along with him.

He is right, of course. It really does feel like coming home, and you could get used to that feeling.

“I don’t want this to end, I don’t want to go back to talking behind a screen and twiddling our thumbs, wondering when our communication is going to dwindle.” Hesh says, facing you now. “Look, I know this might sound forward,” Your chest tightens at the earnesty in his expression and his words. “But I want to make this work. Like, really work. Like I want you to be here, with me.” He runs his fingers through his short cropped hair and he feels the blood rushing to his cheeks. “I want us to figure out a way to move you out here--whenever I’m stationed, wherever we need to be.”

You feel a surge of mixed emotions--fear, hope, relief? It’s enmeshing and turning in your stomach. It’s what you want to hear, but you’re terrified. 

“David, I…I don’t know…” You croak out, feeling the tears cascade down your cheeks, but he shakes his head and wipes them away. 

“You don’t have to decide right now, [name].” he reassures you, and you feel your throat tighten at how donnish he’s being. “I just want you to know I’m in this for the long haul. I’ve found the one,” He softly smiles. “And it’s you.”

And it’s like a freakin’ dam burst or something with the way you’re crying, but it’s tears of real relief. The idea of staying with him to build a life together, it’s not something you went as far as even imagining. Not until now.

“No bullshit, [name]. I’m not up for losing you.”

“I don’t want to lose you either,” you profess, but your voice trembles with the heavy weight of your feelings. “But the thought of leaving everything behind…it’s a lot to take in, y’know?”

He nods. “I know it is,” he murmurs, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. “And I’m not asking you to do anything rash. I just want you to think about it. To know that I’m ready to make this work.” He squeezes your hand. “Just say the word.”

You let out a shaky exhale, and nod. “Okay.” You laugh a bit as he dabs away at your tears again. “I’ll think about it.”

His face lights up with a brilliant smile as he kisses your wrist and then pulls you into a tight hug. The sound of the announcer calling your flight ripples through your little moment and reality sets in again. This time with hope. Hope that something real will flourish from this.

As you pull away and walk to the terminal together hand in hand, you pause to stand in front of him. He easily towers over you and you remember how he looked when he picked you up when you touched down. He cups your face and softly kisses your lips, letting go too soon to place a chaste kiss to your forehead.

“Text me when you land.” He caresses your cheek and you nod with a small smile on your face. Your heart aches when he pulls away, his pinky lingers for a second before he lets go, but it’s filled with something new.

His eyes linger on you as you become smaller, boarding the plane and you turn around once more to find that he’s still watching you. His expression is a mix of longing and resoluteness. You wave, and he returns it with eyes full of silent promise.

As you finally step into the plane, you can’t help but wonder if this is really just the beginning of your new life.

masterlist

mini taglist: @milkteaarttime @keegansshark

[comikas-fandom-dump]

The "Itachi Retcon"

Because the fandom still believes that Itachi got "retconned last minute" and I decided I wanted to submit an analysis to @itachi-uchiha-week.

Obviously, I'm an Itachi fan, but if you consider yourself to be one of his antis, at the very least, you will find this post insightful as to why Itachi fans believe that Itachi was "never retconned". Conversely, if you are an Itachi fan, you might find some of the contents of this post upsetting, for this is intended as an analysis.

Length: • 2.8 K Content: • The Kobayashi Interview • Proto-Itachi • Between Two Debuts • Itachi's Debut Mission • Confirmed Retcons

DISCLAIMER: Blue links are sources. The art in the header is mine, but drawn referencing Kishimoto's original art.

The Kobayashi Interview

A retcon (short for "retroactive continuity") is the act of retroactively adding to and/or subtracting from an established canon, in a way that either recontextualizes or contradicts past events. While technically, reveals also fit this description, the most commonly accepted definition only applies if the author changed their mind between publications.

Undeniably, Itachi's plot twist (Chapter #397-#403) recontextualizes every single scene Itachi had previously appeared in. But since when had the scene been planned? How much of Itachi's screentime was retconned? Well, there's a statement on that.

Back in 2014, Masashi Kishimoto gave an interview about his work on Kendo Kobayashi's "Mando Kobayashi" show, broadcast by the Japanese network "Fuji TV One Two Next" on December 13th. These days, Naruto fans commonly refer to it as "the Kobayashi interview". To my knowledge, the original video is no longer available and has never received an official English translation. However, we still have fan transcriptions, translations, and summaries. According to those fan contributions, Kishimoto explains how he was very flexible with his story, adding and changing things as he went. Several questions in, Kobayashi then inquires about Sasuke's brother, and that's when this happens:

Transcript by @/kamosuke69 on posfie.com コバヤシ ：「サスケの過去、殺したいやつがいるのあたりは？と聞かれて」 岸本 ：「なんかお兄ちゃんがいる、でもお兄ちゃん悪いことしたっては考えていた」 コバヤシ ：「じゃあそのままイタチは単に悪い奴というままいったかもしれない？」 岸本 ：「いや、イタチを出すくらいの時はもう本当は良い奴と決めていた」 Translation by an anonymous, tired Itachi fan Kobayashi: "What about the part about Sasuke’s past, where Sasuke said there was someone he wanted to kill?" Kishimoto: "He had a brother, but I was thinking his brother did something bad." Kobayashi: "So it could have been that you’d just let Itachi be a bad guy?" Kishimoto: "No, about the time I was to roll out Itachi, I’d already decided he was a good guy."

So yes, Kishimoto altered Itachi's character over the course of production, but that change was already in place ahead of Itachi's debut, according to the mangaka himself.

So, Itachi has never been retconned, right? Well, not necessarily.

While Kishimoto did state he had changed his mind about Itachi before he was "rolled out", Itachi technically had two debuts in the series. Since Itachi's appearance in Chapter #49 and after were mere flashbacks, however, only Chapter #139 is considered to be Itachi's "official debut" in the Naruto manga. So, assuming that "rolling out" referred to Chapter #139, that would mean Chapter #49 (among others) was indeed retconned.

But that's the problem. We have to assume. Since we cannot know for sure whether Kishimoto meant Itachi's "official debut" or "any appearance at all", let's try to reconstruct the mangaka's thought process.

Proto-Itachi

While I personally don't think that Kishimoto was planning to turn Itachi into a "good guy" at any point prior to the Chunin Exams, it's still an era of the development process worth exploring.

Let's start with Sasuke's backstory because, in a way, Itachi is the personification of Sasuke's backstory. It is implied pretty early on that something horrible has happened in the boy's past. Interestingly, however, the story does not yet delve into the specifics, and neither does it name the perpetrator. Nevertheless, in the Kobayashi interview, it sounds like Kishimoto had already intended to make Itachi the object of Sasuke's revenge at this point in time. He simply hadn't revealed/canonized that piece of information yet.

Kobayashi: "What about the part about Sasuke’s past, where Sasuke said there was someone he wanted to kill?" Kishimoto: "He had a brother, but I was thinking his brother did something bad."

But there's also something else.

First of all, a page from the Fourth Databook reveals that Itachi was originally conceived as the leader of Konoha's "Itachi Squad", a team operating under ANBU (note: "ANBU" stands for "Special Assassination and Tactical Squad"). Coincidentally, this Proto-Itachi was also conceptualized as an enemy to Naruto and his friends, meaning that Konoha was meant to be morally dubious pretty early on in development.

Of course, maybe this particular "Itachi" person wasn't meant to be "Sasuke's brother" yet, but considering his intended antagonist function in the plot, he would fit the bill at the very least.

Second, in the Land of Waves Arc, Haku insinuates that Sasuke and his clan were likely persecuted for their Kekkei Genkai. This could've been early foreshadowing that, much like the Yuki Clan, the Uchiha were exterminated by their own village. Coincidentally, Proto-Itachi was meant to be a state actor and, once again, fits the bill.

Not that coincidence didn't/couldn't play a role, but today, those tidbits of information go surprisingly well together and complement the current canon. Fans have long since theorized that Kishimoto changed the narrative of "Naruto" from being "anti-state" to "pro-state" post-Chunin Exam Arc, paralleling a right-wing shift in Japanese politics. These published concepts surrounding an evil yet commended, state-sponsored clan killer could easily be the remnants of an abandoned anti-state storyline. If not, this particular collection of once disconnected ideas could've instead served as inspiration for later plot developments.

Speaking of inspiration, it is easy to spot the influences of Proto-Itachi in Danzo, both in terms of physical appearance and character concept. The scar on his chin is, of course, the most tell-tale sign. From the looks of it, once Kishimoto decided that Itachi would be a "good guy", he split off the institutional cruelty that Itachi had once represented and gave it the name of "Danzo".

It should be noted that, regardless of how those plot details shifted in meaning while in development, none of them constitute a "retcon", as none of them had yet been properly introduced into the story. Characters or events that have not yet appeared cannot be retconned.

Proto-Itachi Summary: • Sasuke's (potentially unnamed) older brother was already meant to be the object of his revenge. • The Uchiha Massacre had not yet been established, but government-sponsored persecution against Kekkei Genkai was. • A concept for a Konoha-sponsored enemy named "Itachi" was already sitting in Kishimoto's drafts.

Between Two Debuts

Now, this is a pretty juicy stage in Itachi's conceptual development.

Starting with Chapter #49, we finally learn that the object of Sasuke's revenge is his older brother. Soon after, in Chapter #55, it is also revealed that not only is Sasuke an orphan, but also, he is his clan's lone survivor. So far, the information revealed plays perfectly into what we have just established about Proto-Itachi, building upon the concept without changing the plot's direction.

Although there are certain design inconsistencies (more on that later), the new Canon-Itachi still noticeably resembles Proto-Itachi (which becomes even more apparent in Chapter #127). They both have Itachi's signature "face lines" and wear what appears to be a beanie for a Konoha headband. So, without a doubt, this new character was the successor of Proto-Itachi from the very moment he appeared in the story.

Then Rin no Sho releases, covering Chapters #1 to #119 of the manga. Surprisingly, it's this supplementary guidebook that takes a first step in fleshing out Itachi's character. When commenting on the Uchiha Massacre, the databook states that the reasons behind it were made "taboo" and are hence only known to a select few. In other words, it is implied that yet another party conspired against the Uchiha Clan and, to save face, kept its involvement (or perhaps even the full involvement of Itachi) under wraps.

Not only that, but when we look at Itachi's mission record, we notice that, while he had completed several lower-ranking missions, Itachi had never participated in any A-Rank missions, giving him the mission record of a Chunin. Except, for some inexplicable reason, Itachi managed to qualify for an S-Rank once and never again. Clearly, it was not for his skill, but either out of negligence or necessity. Otherwise, Itachi's track record would match. Many fans have speculated in the past that this mysterious S-Rank might represent or once represented the Uchiha Massacre.

Feel free to disagree, but given how "Itachi" had always been intended as a tool for Konoha's dirty work, it's easy to assume that Kishimoto had already decided (or at least considered) to make Konoha complicit in the Uchiha Massacre at this point in time. It's simply the most logical way to proceed with the original concept of Proto-Itachi, and the Databook entry already hits certain, albeit subtle notes about government involvement (the singular S-Rank mission) and cover-up ("taboo" talk).

I'd argue that, from this point onward, the story takes particular care to characterize Itachi as a paradoxical figure. Before his official debut, we see Itachi one more time in Chapter #127, where we are already introduced to the idea that Itachi is seeking punishment for his crimes, and that he spared Sasuke for him to become his executioner.

If I had to guess, any potential "good guy Itachi" retcon would've had to have been decided on before Chapter #119.

Between Debut Summary: • Proto-Itachi and "Sasuke's older brother" merged into one character by Chapter #49 at the latest. • Certain plot-beats about government involvement and a suicidal Itachi had already been set up ahead of Chapter #139. • It is entirely possible that Itachi's "loyalty" to Konoha was never retconned.

Itachi's Debut Mission

Now, unless we want to accuse Kishimoto of lying or misremembering, the mangaka had already changed the purpose of Itachi's character by Chapter #139. Nevertheless, the mini-arc is frequently mischaracterized as taking place ahead of the supposed "retcon", which is why I find it worth looking into.

While it is absolutely true that this arc depicted Itachi at his most violent (at least as far as on-screen goes), that might've just been the result of Kishimoto not yet having a solid vision for his character. And, although their findings may have been influenced by confirmation bias, Itachi's fans have noted multiple instances of foreshadowing in those few chapters.

During his first in-person appearance, the first thing we see Itachi doing is mocking Konoha. Kisame finds his partner's comment curious, because he knows Itachi to be more restrained than this, meaning that the latter must still have feelings of attachment to his former home. But Kisame not only insinuates that Itachi has feelings, he alleges that Itachi uses snide to process or cover them up.

This is consistent with Itachi's behavior from later chapters, as he is not one to insult his opponents. Even when the other ninja is clearly outmatched, Itachi sticks to neutral observations and occasional praise, never taunts. The only two exceptions? Konoha and, most importantly, Sasuke. All of a sudden, Itachi struggles to keep his nonchalant, unbothered act together.

As a rule of thumb, Itachi's violence increases in parallel to the level of familiarity he has with an individual. Potentially, he could either be panicking or making calculated moves to erase any last inkling of doubt regarding his depravity.

Similarly, in Chapter #142, Itachi reprimands his partner for his recklessness, acting all rational, only for Kisame to later point out several times over that Itachi isn't taking his own advice because, once again, Itachi is uncharacteristically impulsive that day.

And not only is Itachi's decision-making reckless, but it's usually to the benefit of his opponent, keeping Kakashi alive when killing him would've been so much smarter, and later forcing the two Akatsuki to abandon their mission to capture Naruto altogether. Sasuke is the only outlier, but he, too, is incapacitated rather than killed or permanently maimed.

Of course, in the case of Kakashi, you could argue that Itachi was planning to capture the Jonin and interrogate him, except that would serve no tactical purpose, considering the two Akatsuki members had already spotted Naruto with Jiraiya while running from Asuma and Kurenai. Additionally, Asuma notes that finding Naruto in the village is quite a simple task, meaning Itachi had no need for intel - and yet he was fooling around for no discernible reason.

Same thing with Itachi's intention to spare Kurenai and Asuma. You could argue that Itachi simply doesn't want to waste his time fighting random Jonin, but then why are he and Kisame walking around in their terrorist uniforms in broad daylight and stopping for some tea, of all things? To get caught and dragged into a fight?

What obviously doesn't help is that the rest of the cast plays Itachi up as some sort of genius. And not just any genius, but a former ANBU squad captain who rose to the rank at 13 and absolutely should have known better.

Debut Mission Summary: • Itachi spends ten chapters being a walking paradox. He's a genius, yet incompetent (to the benefit of his opponents). He is murderous, yet restrained (to the benefit of his opponents). He is sensible, yet reckless (to the benefit of his opponents). • Itachi's puzzling behavior is probably either the result of internal panic or over-commitment, both serving the purpose of hiding his true self.

Confirmed Retcons

After Itachi's debut arc, I find that the story makes it increasingly difficult to miss the foreshadowing of Itachi's plot twist. I won't go further into them in this essay, but feel free to reblog and add your thoughts! What I am more interested in right now, however, are scenes regarding Itachi that got definitively retconned.

The most famous one, perhaps, is Sasuke's suppressed memory that he only unlocks after learning the truth about his brother. In that scene from Chapter #403, we see Itachi with his headband tied sideways, looking back over his shoulder, and shedding a tear over his own actions.

What makes that scene so special is the fact that it references panels from hundreds of chapters prior, starting with Sasuke's mumbling about a certain crying person in Chapter #7.

In the official English version, Sasuke is seen saying "he made me... cry..." which, at first glance, doesn't exactly make the Chapter #403 scene look like a reference.

However, bilingual fans noted that Viz messed up the translation of this panel. In the original Japanese version, both lines are perfect copies of one another, mentioning "crying" but without naming a subject (ie. the person who was crying). That allowed the line to be used ambiguously.

Original Japanese: 「あの時・・・泣いてた」 Google Translate: "At that time... crying."

Still, based on Kishimoto's own comments, he likely had not yet accounted for Itachi's plot twist at this point in writing the story. So, while it is true that the line was much vaguer in the original, its reusability was probably more of a lucky coincidence rather than the result of meticulous planning.

Similarly, fans like to point out that Itachi had already been depicted glancing back with the sideways headband hundreds of chapters prior, sans tears (see the panel from Chapter #49 and #127). They believe that those earlier panels were meant to foreshadow Sasuke's repressed memory before it was revealed. After all, Itachi was only wearing his headband sideways because Sasuke had knocked it off with a kunai earlier, and that scene hadn't been shown until the truth reveal.

However, if you pay close attention throughout each massacre flashback, you will notice that Itachi had never been depicted wearing his headband the normal way all the way until his debut. That includes one front view, which would never be referenced in Sasuke's repressed memory from Chapter #403. Afterwards, and until the truth reveal, Itachi is never again seen wearing his headband sideways.

It is more likely that Kishimoto had not yet finalized Itachi's design. For similar reasons, Sasuke is shown wearing a Gakuran as a child in chapters as late as #55, even though he canonically never wore a school uniform.

This becomes all the more obvious when we look at Itachi's headband itself. While the standard-issue Konoha headband is roughly based on a bandana that can be worn to cover not only the forehead but the entire scalp as well, it looks nothing like Itachi's torn headband.

If you compare, then the headband that Itachi is wearing in early flashbacks more closely resembles Proto-Itachi's beanie than an actual bandana. It is much thicker, and it has a little spike at the top, both of which are design details present in Proto-Itachi's beanie, but not the way Kishimoto would draw a headband.

So, after he changed his mind about Itachi's design, Kishimoto was probably looking for an organic explanation for the design inconsistencies, and opted for adding in a repressed memory. Ironically, this character design inconsistency likely also inspired a background design inconsistency in Sasuke's flashbacks.

In Chapter #127, we see Itachi standing amidst dead bodies and destroyed buildings. This is also the background in front of which he instructs Sasuke to hate and kill him in a later chapter.

Then, by the time Kishimoto had figured out that he wanted to assign Sasuke a lengthy repressed memory, he drew a different background altogether for that quote and scene, completely devoid of damage or dead bodies.

This served the purpose of adding a chase scene into the night of the massacre, during which Sasuke would knock off Itachi's headband, so that the scene of Chapter #127 could be recreated. Only after the chase do we see that background with the destroyed buildings and dead bodies again, and Itachi once again ties his headband sideways.

Retcon Summary:

• Kishimoto most likely retconned Sasuke's suppressed memory, as indicated by several design inconsistencies as well as official statements. This retcon was related to Itachi's design, however, not his story. • Yes, many Itachi fans view those scenes as foreshadowing anyway.

Conclusion

So, in conclusion, Itachi's plot twist had been in the works at least since Chapter #139. Based on some curious details from the First Databook, however, we can make a pretty decent case that this change was implemented by Chapter #119 already. Depending on how exactly we interpret Kishimoto's statement from the Kobayashi interview, however, it could've been as early as Chapter #49. Still, that's a harder case to make. If Itachi's plot twist has truly been implemented at any point past Chapter #49, then Itachi has indeed been verifiably retconned.

Regardless of when or if Itachi's character was retconned, Konoha's involvement in his crimes possibly was not. Itachi, in concepts from before the Uchiha Massacre had even turned into a plot point, had already been depicted as Konoha's hengeman. There are no indications within the canon of Naruto that Kishimoto had ever changed his mind on that detail. Not that he couldn't have, but the chance is there.

Individual details about Itachi were most certainly retconned, such as his character design and Sasuke's repressed memory.

[ckret2]

Long time lurker, first time asker!

How do you keep different voices/characters in your fics so distinct? I'm writing my first longer than 2k word fic and it's... a time.

First, I'm going to link you the best essay I've ever read about How To Write Canon Character Voices—what's too much accent, what's too little, how to pay attention to word choice and the way they phrase things, etc. It's about Transformers but the skills are transferrable to other fandoms (or original writing). The original essay is down so all I can offer is the archive.org version, but it's worth it.

Second, I'm going to link you this post I wrote about how I study character voices. It's about Hazbin but it shows you the kinds of things I pay attention to when I'm learning a character voice.

Third, I'm going to offer you some extra general advice that isn't in the above posts:

Some people try to make characters sound like themselves by basically parroting their catch phrases or most common quotes. Do that and you're just gonna make your version of the character sound like a robot. (Note: if you're writing a character who only knows how to say a few quotes, that's okay lmao.) The readers already know what the characters said in canon, they're reading a fic to hear them say something new. Example: if you have Bill Cipher arrive on the scene and say "Did you miss me? Admit it, you missed me!" word-for-word, you don't sound like you're writing Bill, you sound like you're quoting Bill from That One Scene where He Said That Thing.

But... directly borrowing characters' quotes is kind of a stepping stone on the way toward figuring out how they speak. Think about things they've already said, but use those quotes as a guide for how to write them.

Example: from that quote above, we get that when Bill shows up around people who definitely did NOT miss him, he just... decides that they did and tells them so. This shows you a bit of his sense of humor (he makes jokes to annoy someone who hates him—it's not even a mean joke, just annoying), a bit of his ego (he knows he's clowning around, but even when he's clowning he's going to say something that makes himself sound popular rather than hated), his casual & familiar attitude with someone he barely knows, his tendency to just request people do what he wants (saying "admit it, you missed me" instead of something like "I know you missed me")... etc.

And I kinda already said this in the Hazbin post, but the most important thing you can do when you're struggling with a character voice is just rewatch their episodes and pay close attention to how they speak (or rewatch their movie scenes, or reread their chapters/comic issues—whatever you're writing about). If they're from a visual/audio medium (TV, movie, podcast, etc), then if need be, read transcripts to see how their voices look when written down. Type down the transcripts yourself if there aren't any—and that's also a good physical exercise to make you slow down and pay attention to how they speak. (You notice where they tend to pause in sentences when you're the one who has to decide where to put commas; you notice their accent when you're the one who has to decide whether that word sounds more like walking or walkin'.)

Pay attention to cadence, accent, interjections, sentence length, active voice, passive voice, preferred vocabulary, preferred slang, word choice, sentence length, sentence complexity, any phrases they're fond of (but again—don't overuse a phrase unless they overuse a phrase), how they tend to refer to the people around them (by first name, last name, any titles, any nicknames—and do they change in different contexts?)... Pay attention to anything you can think of. You want to be able to hear the character's voice clearly in your head—read everything you write in their voice, and if it doesn't sound like their voice in your head, change it.

[yukidragon]

Moving Forward with Sunshine in Hell and Sunny Day Jack

For the past several months I've been giving a lot of thought about Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack, the fandom, SnaccPop, and everything that's transpired as of late.

I'm still not comfortable discussing details about what happened. A lot of my friends were hurt and are still hurting. It's up to them to decide when or if they want to tell their stories. The part I played in things is minor in comparison, and I don't want to dig open painful wounds that are still trying to heal just to talk about my own experiences.

I will say though that it's been hard to enjoy the SWWSDJ game or fandom the same way I used to. The awful incidents and conflicts have left real scars behind, and I think anyone with a passing involvement in the fandom has noticed at least hints of them. It's created so much concern and reservation in a space that used to be so freeing for me.

Before anyone starts worrying, I'm not leaving the Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack fandom. You'll still see me pop up on occasion over here on tumblr, my bluesky, and even twitter if that damn ex-bird app doesn't delete whatever I post there. I still love interacting with other members of the fandom and encouraging them to keep on creating their art, stories, and such with my comments and reblogs. That's not changing any time soon.

Despite everything, this story and fandom still mean a lot to me. If I never chose to play that first demo way back when and took the plunge to be active in the fledgling fandom, I never would've come out of my shell as much as I have. I've grown so much these past 3 years, and I'll always be grateful for Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack, Sauce, and the fandom for giving me fertile ground in which to bloom.

But after everything that's happened, I think it's important to address how things have changed and where I personally will go from here when it comes to the story of Sunny Day Jack and Sunshine in Hell.

I know a lot of people come here to read my theories about the game. I've had a lot of fun combing over the small teasers we've gotten over the years and figuring out how they might connect with the overall story. I've made transcripts for the audio, analyzed artwork, and dug deep into the game's potential timeline of events.

But with all that's happened, including Sauce quitting and passing over the IP and the story of Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack to those still remaining at SnaccPop Studios, I don't think I feel comfortable discussing the game itself anymore, or using their/official artwork for the game in future posts. The same goes for DachaBo, the Groom of Gallagher Mansion, AphroDesia, and their other IP, as well what's going on with SnaccPop as a whole.

This isn't to tell people not to support SnaccPop or the game itself. Plenty of my friends have been a part of or worked with SnaccPop and still have close ties to people working there. Whether or not you support them and/or join their patreon is up to you to decide for yourself, and I highly encourage you to do your own research and come to your own conclusions.

I sincerely hope the best for everyone who has ever been or will ever be involved with SnaccPop. May you find joy and success in your creative endeavors and bring others even more joy.

This is all just to say that I, just like many others, need to take a step back from SnaccPop itself. This is for my own comfort and wellbeing. I will not be discussing any official games, audio dramas, announcements, or the like for the foreseeable future. That means I will not be making any new theories about the games.

If you want information as it relates to the game Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack or its related spinoffs from SnaccPop like Sleepy Time Jack, I urge you to look for it on their official pages for tumblr, bluesky, twitter, toybox, patreon, or anywhere else they have directly linked. Always go to the source for information first.

From here on out, I'm going to focus all my headcanon rambles on just that - my headcanons. Jack, Ian, Shaun, Nick, and all the rest are still going to appear on this blog, but I will only be discussing my personal interpretations of these characters as they apply to Sunshine in Hell or any AUs I have derived from it, which may or may not align with the game's canon. I will not be referring to the game anymore, but instead focusing on the story it inspired that I have personally built on over the years.

Sunshine in Hell has been diverged from the game's canon for a long time now, and the differences in the characters and story have become more and more noticeable as time has gone on. Sunshine in Hell's Sunny Day Jack is very different from any demo's version of Sunny Day Jack, even if his initial roots and name remain the same. It is the same for all the characters, really.

That's one of the things I've loved about this fandom. We've all come up with our own versions of Jack and the other characters. Those of us who have been in the fandom a long time have built on our headcanons and they've grown to have their own distinct lore and quirks that make them unique and recognizable even when compared to someone else's version.

That's why I'm going to focus on my interpretation of Sunny Day Jack exclusively from here on out. I'll still throw out fun "what if" scenarios, alternate universes, and thoughts for generalized sunshines on occasion, but it'll always be through the lens of Sunshine in Hell's story and its characters, rather than the official game's continuity.

So while I'm distancing myself from painful drama for my own mental health and wellbeing, I'm going to continue to embrace the parts of the fandom that I love. My telling of Sunny Day Jack will live on in Sunshine in Hell, along with Alice and all the other characters I've been working on these past three years. I invite you to continue to read along with me as I continue to build on these characters and their stories and make them my own.

I encourage you to do the same. Embrace your own telling of stories you love. Uplift and encourage others to tell their stories too. Find what brings you joy and nurture it to grow into something bigger than the initial seed of an idea. Whether you find it in this fandom or another, I always encourage you to find your passion to create.

Fandom allows everyone the freedom to tell their own version of the stories they love. Sunshine in Hell is mine, and I am forever grateful that so many of you love it like I do. I hope you continue to enjoy it as well as all my other stories and rambling ideas.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you have fun indulging in the stories you love in whatever way brings you the most joy.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

[siro-cyll]

The Uncharted Mansion

Transcript:

Once again, Gravity Falls has contradicted my ability to predict its unstable weather patterns. While cataloging several anomalies in the woods miles from my cabin, I became lost in a freak blizzard that I was gravely unprepared for. I had no choice but to seek refuge in the nearest cave and light a fire for warmth. As I tried to stave off the cold, I realized the cave was not made of stone but dense trees frozen in an arch, creating a dark tunnel that stretched beyond the firelight. With the storm raging behind me and my curiosity piqued, I ventured forth to get my mind off the storm. To my astonishment, the long tunnel yawned wide into an extravagant courtyard surrounding a massive decadent mansion that rivals the one owned by the Northwest, only more overgrown. It seems I have stumbled upon: The Uncharted Mansion My amazement at the unmarked domicile aside, I decided I had to take shelter inside until the storm passed. I'm sure whoever resides here wouldn't mind, given the circumstances. I gained entry through a cellar door at the back, and as the exterior suggested, the interior had not been touched for some time. A quick sweep of the place told me I was alone. Each room was fully furnished with furniture covered in dust-covered sheets. Given the eerie yet enchanting atmosphere, I half-expected something to come alive to talk to me as some beast-like prince resident to make himself known. Maybe I'm overthinking this. Chilled to the bone, I lit the hearth in a lavish parlor using some dried wood nearby and settled onto one of the covered fainted couches to take in my surroundings. My mind tumbled with what secrets this place could hold as my excitement grew. I had not found any records of this mansion in my research, but it looked as old as the one owned by Northwest. Surprising no one, my first thought was that this place had to be haunted. Also surprising no one, I had brought my emergency ghost-hunting kit with me. While I has unprepared for such a drastic change in the weather, I'm always prepared for an impromptu ghost hunt! A somber portrait above the hearth caught my eyes as I set up my gear. The profile of a pale young woman with long dark hair holding a barn owl with a bowtie stood out against the black background framed in gold. Engraved at the bottom were the initials "B.B.B." Her initials? Her manner of dress was reminiscent of nobility during the pioneer days. The longer I gazed at her, the more my face warmed at the possibility of making contact with her. Would that count as a girl talking to me if she responded? Ghost girls are still girls, right? Then it occured to me that I had no clue what to say to her. "How's death treating you?" would probably get me slapped. I spent an hour rehearsing and trying to be as charming as possible before starting. After hours of trying to detect any paranormal activity, I concluded that I was getting the literal cold shoulder from "BBB", which was likely given my track record with women, or this place was not haunted despite its atmosphere. Pity. I was hoping I would be able to talk to someone tonight. This place had become quite lonesome once the excitement wore off.

For years now I've wanted to make lost journal pages for Journal 1 and 2, and I've finally started! With @lord-rosenth0rne's help, we've started here, at Thorne's mansion! We had a lot of fun with this, messing with codes, and even throwing in a cameo of my oc, Riddell.

We want to keep exploring Ford's journals, along with my Tumble in Time continuity. Thorne is a fruit bat vampire who ends up being roommates with Orion, and these pages happen before Orion comes crashing into Ford's life.

If you want to take a blacklight to it, check out the read more~

No Ford blacklight commentary here, it's all Bill for some reason...

[revvethasmythh]

Have you witnessed discoursing about Orym in the past several months? Would you like to be more well-informed about the subject matter? Well, then, do I have a post for you! As a reference for myself and potentially for others:

A Comprehensive Write-Up Of Relevant Times And Contexts Where Orym Has Brought Up His Dead Family While The Group Discusses The Vanguard/Predathos--With Receipts

Disclaimer: these are all of the instances in which I was able to find independently through the Critical Role transcript search, not from rewatching everything. It is therefore possible there are some instances unaccounted for.

Episode 34. Post-resurrection after being killed by Otohan Thull, he brings up the fact that Otohan had a hand in killing his family to emphasize to Imogen how dangerous Otohan is and that she may potentially continue to be an issue for her specifically due to her apparent interest in Imogen (exalting her during the battle in the previous episode)

2. Episode 46. An early God Talk™️, prompted by Ludinus using (presumably) Feeblemind on Professor Kadija Sumal. He holds his opinion until the very end of the conversation, after entertaining Imogen's idea that "they make some good points" and listening to the group discuss if the gods are good or bad for several minutes.

"I don't need to debate it. I lost my husband and father to these people, I'm not on board. Some of the gods are terrifying, and some of them have put their thumbs on the scales for people for centuries, even in the last few decades. Who are they, who are we to decide who lives or dies, god or mortal or otherwise? I don't think they have any good points."

3. Episode 49. He brings them up combatively ("Well, Imogen, I wish. my family didn't have to die for their brighter tomorrow"), against Imogen's statement of, "What if it's not that bad? [...] What if what we're doing is just fighting change?" after she solely received a vision of a Utopia-like future from her mother. Imogen backs down quickly after his reproach and acknowledges that the vision was likely a part of cult brainwashing.

4. Episode 61. Orym pulls Prism aside, after she asks the party and Elder Abbadina if Predathos would cause a world-ending event, or if it would only be bad for some (the Elder did not know anything about Predathos at all), to say, "I don't think we know anything [...] The only thing I have to go on is the track record of the guys trying to bring Predathos out. And that track record is not very good." At further prompting from Prism about if he ever thought the Vanguard's ideas were right, he says, "Prism, I don't understand the gods. I don't know anything about the titans. I don't know an eidolon from eyeliner. [...] But I'm a widower, because of the people who want to bring this about. So it's hard for me to wrangle with the other side."

5. Episode 61, pt. 2. Orym listens to the party converse with Elder Abbadina for a little while longer before silently sneaking out "to go think about his dead father and his dead husband."

6. Episode 77. Another God Talk™️ with the whole party, prompted by FCG asking what everyone's motive was in going to the moon. For his reasoning, he says, "We don't know what's going to happen to any inch of this world if Predathos is unleashed. Yeah, this started with my husband and my father. It's so much bigger than that. If my life can secure the lives of everyone who comes after us, well spent."

7. Episode 92. After the death of another loved one to Otohan Thull, in response to Liliana's statement that temples might hunt down Ruidusborn in the theoretical event that Ludinus' plot is foiled, "Cold comfort for my family in the ground."

8. Episode 92, pt. 2. In response to a throwaway, thoughtless comment Ashton made that, "I hope [Liliana] is right. I really do. I hope her ends are fucking great because these means are just not forgivable." Orym has Chetney bring out Otohan's sword, jams one into the sand and declares, "This is the sword that killed my father and my husband. She is not right."

UPDATE: 8/14/24

9. Episode 102, during the confrontation with Ludinus. Interjected during the ongoing conversation, specifically during some bantering between Chetney and Ludinus as to the last time they met (when Chetney attacked him as a werewolf). He says, "You put a hit on my family, a successful one, fuck you. Fuck you." Ludinus later apologizes for the deaths of his family, claiming Otohan was "overzealous in her methods." Both Imogen and Laudna respond immediately that he was responsible for Otohan's actions.

10. Episode 103, during yet another God Conversation. Orym tries to redirect conversation about Ludinus and the gods, stating that they are different topics. Ashton concurs, and Imogen states that she agrees with Orym that Ludinus doesn't get to decide for everyone. Dorian then interjects, "But the gods do?" Which prompts Orym's blunt response to him specifically that, "If Ludinus had sent people to your home, and taken brother and your father and countless others, how philosophical would you be about it, Dorian?"

-

So, with all of the information in front of us, what conclusions can we draw from them? When asked by others to assess if the Vanguard has valid points, Orym repeatedly abstains from having an opinion. Whether or not the Vanguard has a reason to be upset is irrelevant to him--what is relevant is the loss of life they have incurred along the way. Orym takes no stance on the gods, he repeatedly states he doesn't understand them or know anything about them or harbor much of a connection to them. As far as he is concerned, his role in this is to oppose the violence being done to the people of Exandria. Why waste your time debating the merits of a cult's ideology when you know, in the end, you will have to fight against them to end the slaughter? To protect people?

And for what it's worth, in almost every instance, Ashton has effectively taken the same side as Orym. I have not included all of these moments, but they are easily located if you wanted to search up these moments on your own. The continual focus on de-legitimizing Orym's opinion seems strongly tied to the fact that he has a personal reason to hate the Vanguard. But facts being facts, Ashton hates them just the same--and he has no love of the gods, either. He hates the Vanguard based on their actions, same as Orym. In fact, Ashton and Laudna have both expressed outright dislike for the gods, and all other Bells Hells except for FCG expressed ambivalence. This is not about the gods. Not for Orym, not for the others who remain. This is about no more bodies on the pyre of Ludinus' machinations.

P.S. if you know of any other instances this topic has come up that I have not included, please feel free to let me know! I want this post to be as comprehensive as it can be, but I am fallible and may have missed something. Don't be afraid to tell me about a scene I missed!

[systemrestart]

From Alison Bechdel's "Dykes to Watch Out For". Strip name "Au Courant", from 1994

I'd never seen this strip get posted, so I want others to see it. Mo, the character expressing 'concern' over the inclusion of trans women (as well as bisexuals) in lesbian culture, is often portrayed as being overly self-righteous, jumping to conclusions about others, and not critically examining her own biases and worldview. She was also the character in the comic commissioned for Transgender Warriors, where she learns she was wrong for being anxious about sharing a bathroom with a trans woman.

Mo is often either the butt of the joke, or receives a stark lesson in these interactions (whether by confrontation or just becoming socially isolated, because she's difficult to be around). And I found this framing important, especially as I've heard discussion of TERFs trying to claim Bechdel as one of them.

This comic was not made to validate Mo's opinions or feelings. The characters in Bechdel's comics are often messy, short-sighted, even bigoted. They're human. This comic does not valorize or 'condone' these flaws, merely shows them for what they are, as well as the consequences that come with them, and the effects they can have on your communities.

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[Update Note: Recently learned some new things about Bechdel's feelings/choices regarding trans issues (particularly transmisogyny), link here if you're interested in reading. It seems that beyond DTWOF, Bechdel 'supports' trans people in an esoteric sort of way, but is seemingly unwilling to unpack deeper transphobic feelings/views, or her ties with TERF-aligned people. Deeply disappointing.

I don't think that impacts DTWOF itself much (except the framing of the character Janis, may make a post about that someday), as again all of the characters in DTWOF have wildly varying views, and that's The Point, but, it's something I think people ought to know if we're going to have a discussion about Bechdel in connection to TERFs and transmisogyny]

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[Update 2: Decided to turn reblogs off, because while most people are sharing the updated version, there's still some people reblogging the original, without the info on Bechdel's alignment with TERFs and refusal to examine her harmful behaviour or views. And I'd rather people not continue sharing just the comic.

I encourage people to read the post I linked above if they want to discuss Bechdel's ties to TERFism, as well as this post. There's also plenty more discussion about this topic by trans women on here that I encourage you all to listen to. It's important to not react with "it can't be!!" or hostility, when faced with the fact that a creator you previously admired or whose work impacted you, holds harmful or bigoted views. If understanding, care, and support for trans women is something truly important to you, I ask that you listen, and come to terms with what you learn.]

Transcript of the comic below the cut:

[ID: A "Dykes to Watch Out For" comic strip by Alison Bechdel, featuring the characters Mo and Lois. The conversation is as follows:

MO: Oh, jeez. Here's a submission for "Madwimmin Read" from someone named Jillian who identifies as a transsexual lesbian.

LOIS: Cool.

MO: The cover letter says, "I hope you'll consider changing the name of your reading series for local lesbian writers to be inclusive of transgender and bisexual women writers too." Oh, man!

LOIS: Guess it's time to get with the program, huh?

MO: What am I supposed to do? Have bi women and drag queens come in here and read about schtupping their boyfriends?

LOIS: Why not? I'm sure they'd have a unique perspective on the topic.

MO: Lois, I'm still trying to adjust to lesbians using dildos! What am I supposed to make of a man who became a woman who's attracted to women?!

LOIS: Love is a many gendered thing, pal. Get used to it.

MO: Well fine. Let people do what they want. But I'm not gonna add this unwieldy "bisexual and transgender" business to the name of my reading series. I don't even know what transgender means!

LOIS: It's sort of an evolving concept. I mean, we haven't had any language for people you can't neatly peg as either boy or girl.

LOIS: Like cross-dressers, transsexuals, people who live as the opposite sex but don't have surgery, drag queens and kings, and all kinds of other transgressive folks. "Transgender" is a way to unite everyone into a group, even though all these people might not self-identify as transgender.

LOIS: In fact, the point is that we're all just ourselves, and not categories. Instead of two rigid genders, there's an infinite sexual continuum! Cool, huh?

MO: How do you know all this stuff?

END ID]

[utdrmv-confession-box]

Transcript: Canon dreamtale makes me so mad because the writing is SO ASS. No worldbuilding, the magic sistem makes no sense, there are more plot holes than plot points and the au itself is invasive to the multiverse and how it works. The fandom made me like it, not the creator. And that already says a lot.

If the fandom can write your au better than you, mayne you should consider that youre doing something wrong

The creator only focused on making dream be "the good guy!" And the "innocent victim who did nothing wrong" that she made him a mary sue. If a character is always good, always right and their toughts and morals arent challenged you cant have character developement. It’s said that dream struggles, but never shown.

"The villagers used him!" Cool. Show it.

"Hes too kind and it has consequences on him!" Oh really? It’s funny that you say that because you NEVER SHOWED IT.

Same thing with nightmare. She killed him off on purpose by making corrupted not eve nightmare anymore. Passive is only a victim and nothing else. Its never showed how the apple incident affects nightmare. His life is barely shown.

"Everyone knows about your brother, but they dont know your story" YES THE FUCKING DO YOUVE BEEN SHOVING IT OUR THROATS FOR AGES!

And the thing that pisses me off the moat is ink and dreams friendship breakup. It doesnt do any justice to dreams character and villanizes ink.

"Oh no! My friend who fought by my side has different views than me! I know im clearly in the wrong here because I keep trying to change the script, messing up the time-space continum, b-but ink has clearly "manipulated" me! Hes obviously the bad guy because hus morally grey views dont align with mine! And the narrative will support me because im the protagonist and therefore always right! IM the hero here!" Thats how it feels to me.

Its so obvious that joku just broke them because of the conflict the had with comyet. Comyet didnt want to make drink canon, joku wasnt happy with that and decided to get ink out of the way out of pettiness. At this point dream might as well be a self insert

[dctl-redrawn]

Welcome to DCTL Redrawn !!

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦ဗ꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

Welcome to our humble blog !! Here, we plan to archive and catalogue everything to do with the DCTL Redrawn project.

Read this post to learn more about it !!

Join our Discord Server to join the project !!

If you want to join the project to help with art especially later down the line, send an ask to this blog and your @ will be added to a list !! This list will be used when we make a proper call for artists.

Current Plan- (transcribed under cut and tag directory)

Tag Directory -

WARNING - SOME REBLOGGED POSTS MAY HOLD OUTDATED BELIEFS OR INFORMATION. I will try my best to add tags to the reblogs here to correct anything, but stay weary !!

ဗ #reblogs - Reblogged posts relating to the project

ဗ #asks - Answered asks

ဗ #host reblogs - Reblogs of @salpho's posts, the project's host

ဗ #dctl redrawn - All posts relating to the project (for visibility in search)

ဗ #sillies - Posts about jokes and funny things in relation to the project or server

ဗ #project update - Any post regarding updates to the project, be it moving along the plan or changing something else

ဗ #other - Simple asks and posts that feel too empty to reblog with the above tags

Thank you for reading through !! Hope to see you join us soon.

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Image Transcript-

ဗ Step 1- Summarise all chapters to help in later stages. ဗ Step 2- Filter through chapters/scenes/pages and figure out which to omit. ဗ Step 3- Use the summary to find where characters are described, then design them. ဗ Step 4- Decide how much flexibility artists get and start storyboarding. ဗ Step 5- Post an artist call, make a google form and update the server. ဗ Step 6- Choose artists, assign roles and get to work drawing !! ဗStep 7- Write the foreword, get fan comments and string the PDF together. ဗ Step 8- Share the finished product !!

[pilotprojectvogelfrei]

Project V DRAFTS! Vogelfrei 2: Wilder Winter

Beware, Art and Writing spoilers ahead!

Vogelfrei 2: Wilder Winter (V2:W2) Believe it or not, but this doodle from November of 2024 has a crazier lore than all of Vogelfrei 1 combined. *More drawings follow at the very end!

Start note

Hello folks! I’d like to start by wishing a great day to the 6-ish people following this Gravity Falls Shenanighans account ! After some debating and consultation, I decided to post ahead some designs for characters which will make an appearance in the sequel. (that’s right, Vogelfrei is a duology fanfic project!)

Since character designs are subjected to change(Especially Lidia who might have to change colour because I’ve seen other lilac triangle ocs on Tumblr), I’d like to layout the idea of it at least before it becomes unoriginal. After all, a story cannot solely rely on the element of surprise to be good, it’s the content that makes it interesting.

Vogelfrei will have a Sequel?

The first book is barely at its beginning and it already has a sequel?

Why, yes! I had the unfortunate idea of creating an outline for the sequel back in December of 2024 while searching for an ending of the first book.

What’s so different about Wider Winter?

Wilder Winter will focus on out-of-worldly shenanigans a lot more than the first book!

It will also have a ton of invented concepts for the narrative that strays further away from TBOB, going against nearly EVERYTHING that happened in the canon series and books.

Basically, it’s undoing most of the effects of Bill’s past crimes while consequences follow.

Without further ado …

Summary

Bill Cipher , a patient in the Theraprism’s Interdimensional Tyrant Ward, had been sentenced to a rehabilitation program called Pilot Project Vogelfrei. Previously, he had been sent to Earth in the dimension 46’/ and had been working on himself while illegally squatting living with the Ramirez and Pines families during the summer of 2015, before an incident which led the early conclusion of the project.

Fortunately for himself, Bill Cipher was soon released back into the multiverse and had been living a relatively quiet life back in Gravity Falls, Oregon, USA. However, the following winter, trouble follows him as he and the family reunited for the holidays. While Ford and Bill go out to gathered firewood, they get ambushed by an invisible enemy and Bill gets severely injured.

In the aftermath of the fight, Bill was violently removed from dimension 46’/, leading to a chain reaction that soon put the multiverse’s stability at stake.

He ends up in his metaphysical form yet again, encountering people who should’ve been dead, while trying to evade his own death. Vogelfrei 2: Wilder Winter, Featuring:

-cutiesy queer-platonic Billford at the beginning. (NOT the main focus of the story)

-Bill on a death row, AGAIN!

-The rebirth of Euclidia?!

-Time Baby is back, babey!

-Ford and Bill ,in different places, being inter-dimensional criminal menaces.

-Are those bounty hunters or simply killers with a warrant?

-The Pines and Blendin Blandin travel through space and time.

-Bill is NOT FIT to be a trusted adult, but here we are.

-Tad Strange, Bill Cipher and Steven Pyramid are NOT related.

-“Who gave that kid a GUN?”

-Surprise adoption?

More Art (traditional and digital)

[transcript of the convo between Bill and Lidia]

Bill: OH EM GEE LIDIA VERTEX, have you NO decency?!

Dee: *squints* …

Bill: And anyways, I’m an equilateral, that makes me better than you.

Dee: … *thinking to herself* oh my Pythagoras, not this again.

Dee: *smirking* Oh yeah? Well I think you’re just an OLD SORE LOSER who tries to cover up the fact he got no boyfriend.

Bill, his eye blood red: NOT TRUE !

[end of transcript]

End note

Vogelfrei 2 will be even more of a mixed media project, I plan to experiment making it into a comic. However, I need to bring Vogelfrei 1 to completion first, so V2:W2 might come in a year or two depending on how fast u finish the current book. In sum, this is a sneak peek of some characters that will make a later appearance. (it ails me that I have to wait months before I get to use these goobers 😩)

Again, if there are any questions or comments, all are welcome and appreciated! Though this story will be published waaaaay later because I planned this thing like those 5 year plans under communism regimes.

Honestly, with my current writing speed, we might see it finished in 5 years when the evil Cheeto and his Hairless Elongated Muskrat explode.