#and don't invent shit to bash

[maxdibert]

Alright, let’s obliterate this so-called "critique" of Severus Snape because the level of bad-faith arguments and outright ignorance is honestly painful. You’re coming in hot with the usual half-baked points while conveniently ignoring key aspects of canon. Let’s fix that.

First, this tired “Snape only cared about Lily because he wanted to ‘bang’ her” nonsense? Get real. Snape’s motivation wasn’t some twisted obsession—it was guilt. He felt an overwhelming responsibility for her death because his actions directly contributed to Voldemort targeting her. His life’s mission became protecting Harry as a way to atone for his past. This wasn’t about personal gain or selfish longing—it was about redemption through sacrifice. The dude knew he’d never be forgiven or even recognized. He still did the right thing.

You whine about Snape calling Lily a Mudblood like the books didn’t make it abundantly clear he regretted that for the rest of his life. It was the culmination of years of internalized prejudice from being steeped in Slytherin’s toxic culture, which he ultimately rejected. Meanwhile, James Potter and his crew never faced real consequences for their relentless bullying and attempted murder (Werewolf Incident, anyone?, SEXUAL ASSAULT???). But sure, let’s pretend teenage Snape’s worst moment defines his entire being while handwaving the Marauders’ abuse as “pranks.” Hypocrisy much?

And let’s talk about Lupin. The guy forgot to take his Wolfsbane Potion—literally the one thing keeping a deadly werewolf from rampaging through a school full of children. That’s not a minor slip-up; that’s criminally irresponsible. Snape, knowing the stakes, exposed Lupin because no sane adult would let someone so reckless stay in a teaching position. Hogwarts students needed protection, not a ticking time bomb. If you can’t see how allowing someone with such a blatant disregard for safety to continue teaching would be insane, you’re either too young or too naive to understand what real responsibility looks like.

Your attempts to paint Snape as some unparalleled monster for being harsh to students are hilariously selective. McGonagall reduced Neville to tears on multiple occasions. Moody turned Draco into a ferret and slammed him into the ground—which people cheered for because they liked seeing Draco humiliated. Hogwarts was full of abusive teachers, but Snape is somehow the only one you’re pressed about? Cry me a river.

And let’s not pretend Neville, Hermione, or Harry were ever broken beyond repair by Snape’s cruelty. Neville became a war hero. Hermione stayed top of her class and thrived. Harry named his son after Snape. Did Snape’s treatment scar them for life? No. Was it wrong? Yes. But framing it as irredeemable abuse while ignoring the life-or-death stakes Snape constantly operated under is absurd.

Also, comparing Snape to Regulus or Draco is laughable. Regulus realized Voldemort was insane when it personally affected him (Kreacher’s mistreatment) and died quietly, accomplishing nothing in his lifetime. Snape spent years playing double agent, saving lives, and actively working against Voldemort while enduring suspicion, isolation, and constant danger. He wasn’t just sad Lily died—he dedicated everything to ensuring her son lived, even though he hated Harry.

Your entire rant reads like a middle school Tumblr post from someone who skimmed the wiki and ignored 90% of canon. Snape was bitter, cruel, and morally gray—but he was also heroic, self-sacrificing, and endlessly complex. Reducing him to “mean teacher bad” is shallow, lazy, and frankly embarrassing. Read the books again—or better yet, read them for the first time—before coming at Snape with this weak, surface-level analysis. Next.

okay, hold my drink *hands u cursed ancient goblet full of mead* i gotta talk my shit for a second.

ive been seeing a lot of severus snape love recently. and this is fine, obviously, y'all can love whomever you want. but. i need to rant or i will explode. if we're talking about canon. severus snape spends his adult years, seven books of it in fact, abusing children. and his excuse for this is the girl he loved (tho not enough not to join a group actively trying to exterminate her) fell for the hot jock instead of him (a tragedy indeed, i weep 4 him, i really do). and also she died, which, admittedly is very sad.

it is simply crazy 2 me 2 look at that and think *romance* or *genuine care and affection*. LIKE. fo real. snape calls her a slur in public, apologizes in private, hangs out with dudes who commit hate crimes against her friends (CANONICALLY, she says "you've been hanging out with that douchebag Mulciber, how could you do that after what he did to Mary???" this is not a direct quote but like, it's close enough). lame. loser behaviour.

"Oh but what about regulus" i can hear you say "he loves James potter but snape doesn't love lily???" well. idk. maybe. bit different tho, innit? due to james not being the demographic regulus is attacking (which doesn't make regulus a better person but does make the dynamic between him and james different). ALSO. Regulus chooses to turn against voldemort without hope for anything in return. snape doesn't seem to give a shit about voldemort, he's just sad he's not gonna get to bang lily evans. he switches sides for that reason alone. also doesn't care about what happens to her husband or her son which like. considering lily would be pretty fucking destroyed if they died. once again points to my whole, he doesn't really give a shit about her, theory. lame. loser. behaviour.

also. im sorry. I"M SORRY. but what snape does to neville? to hermione? to harry? gross. a grown ass man out here telling an eleven year old neville he's worthless or hermione she's ugly and annoying. or spilling harry's potion and refusing to grade him for it???????????????

reg and draco are children when we see them at peak suckage and therefore they feel like they can be redeemed much more compellingly (CAN be, not SHOULD be, not HAVE to be, just narratively i think they are easier to turn into interesting, sympathetic characters). but snape? snape grows up into a garbage adult. like he doesn't get better. and again, the only real excuse we're given is his obsession with lily. not very demure. not very cutesy.

ALSO. yall remember that time he got a destitute, struggling Remus Lupin fired from the best job he ever had just because he felt like it? remember that time snape weaponized Remus's lycanthropy and people's prejudice against him just cause. like. literally just cause??? his ego was bruised after the shrieking shack incident so he was like "get wrecked Lupin I'm going to tell everyone your secret so you will be forced back out onto the streets" DO YALL REMEMBER THAT BITCH ASS MOVE????????? THAT HE DID AS A FULL ADULT.

IN CONCLUSION, this is silly and, of course, like i said at the start, everyone can have their own thoughts and feelings about characters, but i simply needed to interject here on behalf of snape haters everywhere because i feel like so much of snape's shitty behaviour as an adult during a time when he was really under no duress and was very safe and cozy, is ignored. and my hater heart just cannot let that stand.

[buckyalpine]

hey shay! what do you think about steve and sam betting that bucky cannot date the newest avenger for like two months without falling in love with her. and, of course, he accepts, and asks her out, all in the hopes of winning.

(plot twist: he is a dumbass and a fucking simp because he falls hella hard in like the first month. she’s basically his soulmate and his dream girl. absolutely perfect. he dreams of their marriage and children and cannot wait to make it a reality. and steve and sam are beyond happy for him, and the three decide never to speak of the bet ever again.)

but fast forward to their first anniversary together, and she finds out that the only reason why bucky ever paid any attention to her, and asked her out, was because of the bet. and it leaves her absolutely heartbroken and destroyed, to the point that she debates asking for a transfer. because of course the only way the legendary sergeant james buchanan barnes would ever notice her is because of a bet. pfft! how big of an idiot she is!

(and we see bucky do some seriously grovel. because he cannot lose the love of his life. his baby. his everything. his sunshine in the dark. the reason for his existence.)

maybe steve and sam join in to help him? because they adore her as well, and they know how much bucky needs her.

YESSSS YES YESSSSS. I am here for the angst and the fluff, I love this because we all love a break up make up situation.

"100 bucks"

"No"

"Okay, 150"

"Why are we doing this"

"200"

"...why"

"Because we know for a fact, there's no way you'd be able to date the new recruit for two full months-

"-without falling in love, you can't actually fall for her"

Sam and Steve looked at Bucky intently while the soldier cocked an eyebrow, the three of them lounging in the common room after a morning briefing to meet their newest team mate.

"You're both willing to pay me $200 just to date y/n without falling in love?" Bucky deadpanned staring at his two best friends, both with matching shit eating grins.

"What's wrong Barnes, scared you'll get your wittle heart broken?" Sam egged him on only to be met with a cocky smirk from the brunette.

"That's not a problem because I don't date" Bucky shrugged, happy to win easy money if all he had to do was ask the new girl out and date her for a bit without actually catching feelings.

He was never really the relationship type; the charm he used to have in the 40's was slowly making its way back and it was perfect for when he needed a quick fix. Long term was never his thing and he wasn't about to start now but he also wasn't going to turn down a bet when his friends seemed so keen.

Besides, his pride was on the line and it was only two months.

"So let me get this straight. I date her for 2 months-"

"No falling in love with y/n"

"-no falling in love and you pay me?"

Sam and Steve nodded while Bucky got up, shaking their hands to seal the deal. He already mapped out a plan to ask the new girl out, mentally deciding on an easy break up speech for when the inventible comes.

"Two months white panther"

"Wolf"

"Two months"

"Easy"

****

Bucky knew he was screwed after the first date. Just the first date. When he first asked her out, she gave him a shy giggle and he knew he wanted to hear that sound again. And again. And again. She gave him a little nod, shuffling on her feet and for a moment, Bucky regained his confidence. There was no way he'd have anything in common with someone so shy and quiet, winning the best was going to be a breeze.

Until she came down in a sun dress, ready to go out for for their date and she smelled like peaches and cream and there was that fucking giggle again when he got ice cream on his nose when they shared a sundae. Her hands were so soft when she swiped her thumb over his little mess, cleaning him off with a tissue while he blinked.

"You're so adorable, sarge" She gave him a bashful smile and his cheeks couldn't have possibly blushed more, his heart beating strangely fast. He wasn't really too sure what to do, usually it was him making girls turn into puddles of shy messes but her he was, more tongue tied that ever.

He wasn't sure what it was.

Maybe it was the fact that she asked him about the 40's, something he rarely got to talk about. Maybe it was the way she listened to him intently while he got lost in his memories, recalling happier times, the both of them laughing over stories about scrawny Steve before the serum. He'd been on plenty of dates before but none of them were like this.

(It didn't matter though, his main goal never left his sight...not really)

He asked her out again and he immediately put his hand to his stomach when she showed up in her workout clothes since he'd offered to train with her before their scheduled date. He'd fully intended to take control over the situation, gain the upper hand again by making her all sweet and shy with his subtle touches but nope.

Here he was with butterflies dancing madly around his tummy when she smiled brightly as soon as she walked through the gym doors; his train of thought long gone when as she dropped her towel beside his. He flipped her with ease, her much smaller form blinking up at him as he caged her under him. He didn't even have it in him to throw her a wink or a flirty smirk, giving her soft puppy eyes instead and helping her to her feet.

To his own surprise, he didn't even try to make a move to get her in bed.

He couldn't.

Not when he was genuinely enjoying conversation with her. Not when she looked at him with such trust and care not to break her heart. Not after she'd confided in him that she felt safe with him after about a month of dating. Bucky's mind, which was usually filled with filth and fucking was now filled with thoughts of her in a pretty white dress, walking down the aisle, ready to say I do. He thought about how adorable their babies would look, how beautiful she'd look pregnant, she was his dream girl, how he couldn't wait for the day it'd all really happen, he was falling in love for the first time in his life-

He. Was. Screwed.

****

"M'gonna marry her"

"What"

"What?" Bucky blinked back at his friends with wide eyes, not realizing he'd said that out loud; the three of them sitting around the living room again since you had gone out for a girls night with Nat and Wanda.

"Come again, what was that?" Sam grinned, sitting up straighter from where he'd been sprawled out on the floor while Steve nudged Bucky with his shoulder.

"Nothing" Bucky mumbled but the blush on his cheeks spread up to his ears.

"AWWWW" Sam howled while Bucky buried his face in his hands, "BUCKY HAS A CRUSH"

"You like her, huh punk" Steve grinned, not needing verbal confirmation from his best friend; both him and Sam saw the way Bucky started falling for you from day 1, not standing a chance of winning their bet.

"I do" Bucky smiled shyly, not bothering with a snarky retort, not when he'd fallen so hard for you the second he heard your laugh. No one bothered to bring up the bet again, the entire thing long forgotten. Sam and Steve couldn't have been happier when they saw Bucky's eyes light up every time he looked at you. You'd tumbled into the living room along with Nat and Wanda behind you, giggling and falling into the soldiers lap, nuzzling into him like a kitten between tipsy kisses.

Sam could've sworn he saw Steve flick away a tear, the both of them watching Bucky grin like a little kid with the biggest crush, melting into a puddle instantly with you in his arms.

"Hey Sarge" You gave him a hazy smile, sighing contently when he kissed your forehead and scooped you right up, holding you to his chest. "Missed you"

"Let's get you to bed babygirl" Bucky whispered, carefully taking care of you, changing you into one of his Henley's and completing your skin care routine since you couldn't in your drunken state. He kissed you good night, pulling the covers up and holding you close to him the entire night.

Nothing compared to the soft puppy he became whenever you were near him and it wasn't exactly a well kept secret. No one failed to notice the way he was head over heels in love with you. With each passing day Bucky loved you more, doing everything in his power to keep you happy, to protect you with his entire heart, there's was no way, absolutely no way, he'd every do anything to hurt you or lose you.

Ever.

One Year Later

You stretched, blinking at the sun that peeked through the curtains, feeling extra warm, cuddled up with you boyfriend who was the human form of a furnace. You were in no hurry to get out of bed, burying your face into his bare chest instead, breathing in his scent, humming contently when his thick arms wrapped you impossibly closer.

"Happy anniversary my love" Bucky whispered, his eyes still closed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. He couldn't believe a full year had gone by since you'd stolen his heart. A full year filled with kisses and giggles and softness. There wasn't a day that had gone by where Bucky wasn't a complete simp for you (he'd picked out a wedding ring within month three and had it hidden somewhere in his room by month 6).

"Happy anniversary handsome" You kissed his chest where his heart beat steadily, giggling when he pinned you under him, attacking you with a flurry of feathery light kisses, "Bucky stop!" You squealed with laugher as he wrapped you tightly and let his scruffy cheeks tickle your shoulders, the both of you tangled in his sheets, having a lazy morning.

"I love you" He whispered into your hair, sneakily slipping his hands up your over sized shirt, his cool metal fingers stroking down your spine making you shiver. "So much, bella"

"I love you, Jamie" Your cheeks heated up and the sweet name he had just for you, only reluctantly getting out of bed after Nat had practically dragged you out of bed to go shopping. You didn't want to do anything but cuddle with Bucky all day but the red head didn't care, happily evading your privacy to barge into the room and whisk you away, throwing back a wink when Bucky mouthed a silent thank you.

Bucky had planned out the perfect anniversary, something he'd thought out for weeks. The compound would be empty so it would just be the two of you; he'd cook dinner himself, have some songs playing from the 40's with a juke box he'd managed to get his hands on and spent the entire night letting you know how deeply in love he was with you. He didn't care how cheesy it was, buying out an entire florist shop to cover the room and terrace with your favorite flowers, having some suspended from the high ceilings along with petals strewn on the floor.

He'd pull out all the rom com stops for you, giving everyone a task to keep you busy so he could set up for the night. Nat had been tasked with keeping you away until evening, only bringing you back in time for dinner. Sam and Steve spent the whole day hanging and putting up flowers, lighting candles and listening to Bucky ramble about how much he adored you. Tony worked on lighting and sound, tinkering with the music and setting it up outside.

To say you were surprised was an understatement. Nat had blind folded you as soon as you got back and instructed you to put on the dress that had been laid out in your room. You had no idea what she was talking about until you found a floor length gown along with a note sitting on top of your bed.

See you at 8 tonight my bella

Happy 1 year Anniversary,

Yours forever,

JBB x

You didn't waste a second, hopping into the shower, doing your makeup and spraying on your perfume that you knew he loved so much. You slipped the dress on along with some heels before making your way down to the now dimmed lights, the soft glow of candles warming the room.

You gasped as soon as your eyes landed on Bucky, standing head to toe in all black, a dashing smile on his face. He strode over to you, cupping your cheeks in his hands, pecking your lips sweetly, the scent of his cologne already making you woozy.

"You did all this for me?" You blinked back tears, his thumbs swiping them away .

"Anything for you doll" Bucky whispered, pulling you in for another kiss before leading you to the garden; a trail of rose petals covering the floor to the back terrace. Fairly lights twinkled, mixed in with the tiny stars that dotted the night sky; you didn't bother with sitting in your own seat, sitting in Bucky's lap instead while your both sipped on champagne.

It didn't take long for him to swoop you off your feet so he could sway with you instead, music playing softly in the background while he whispered sweet nothings, only sitting down again so he could feed you the dessert he'd spend the whole afternoon making for you.

"I can't believe you did all this for me Bucky" You said sincerely, holding his face in your hands, gazing into his soft blue eyes, "You're perfect my Jamie"

"You're my perfect gift doll"

"Oh! I have to get you your gift!" You realized you'd left it in your room between a spoon of chocolate cake Bucky was feeding you, hopping up from his lap to get it. You scurried off to your room, giddy over the present you'd put together for Bucky, the whole gift taking months of planning to get everything to come in time. You rummaged through your closet, grabbing the carefully wrapped box and returning to the hall, excited to see his face when he opened his present.

You passed by Steve's room stopping dead in your tracks at the words you heard, your feet suddenly unable to move.

"Can you believe this all started over betting he'd never fall for y/n?" Sam snorted, sitting on the couch in Steve's room, the both of them munching on the scraps of chocolate cake and sipping on beer while watching a movie.

"All over 200 bucks, remember he was so sure of himself"

You felt like you'd swallowed cotton, your mouth dry, finding it difficult to swallow. You wanted to turn back time, wishing you'd never heard that conversation, or maybe it was all a misunderstanding, Bucky would never do that, not your Bucky.

"Didn't you tell him he'd only have to date her for 2 months?"

"2 months and 200 dollars, terminator shook on it"

"He even had a break up speech ready"

You gripped tightly onto the present, dashing away from the room, unable to bear more of the conversation. Your heart was hammering out of your chest as you shakily made your way back to Bucky, it just couldn't be true.

Could it?

Did he really only ask you out because his friends made a bet with him?

Bucky smiled when he saw you return, opening his arms for you to slink onto his lap again. His smile disappeared when you kept your eyes down, fumbling with the gift in your hand, staying rooted in place in front of him instead of cuddling up with him like you always did.

"Baby? Is everything okay?" Bucky got up from his seat, carefully making his way over to you. He tipped your face up, surprised to find your eyes wet with unshed tears, the corners of your lips quivering with how hard you were trying to keep from crying.

"You-you promise you'll be honest with me?" You tried to keep your voice from cracking, afraid everything you'd imagined with Bucky would come crashing down if what you heard was true.

"Of course" Bucky felt his heart race seeing your glassy eyes and broken expression, what could have possibly happened in the few seconds you were gone "Bella, what's wrong"

"Did you only ask me out because of a bet?" You tried to keep from sniffling, your heart breaking at the guilt that immediately spread across Bucky's face.

"Doll, I-

"So it's true?" You whimpered, stepping away from the man you loved so much, feeling a whirlwind of emotions, the gift you clutched onto slipping from your grip and onto the floor, "It was just a bet with Sam and Steve?"

"Baby, please let me explain-" Bucky wanted nothing more than to reach out and wipe away the tears he caused, his own streaming down his cheeks when you moved further away from him.

"Please don't" You shook your head, wrapping your arms around yourself, not wanting to feel his touch you knew you'd instantly melt into. "Just don't James"

Bucky was ready to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness, beg for you to call him all the sweet names reserved just for him but you dashed back into the compound, slapping your hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs.

"Sweetheart wait, please don't go, just let me explain baby, I love you so much" Bucky trailed after you, quickly swiping his dampened cheeks, catching you in the elevator just before it closed. "Y/n, I love you doll, I'm sorry, it started that way but-

"It's not your fault" You quickly wiped away the new wave of tears that stung your eyes, desperately pushing the button to take you to your room faster, "I-I should've known you wouldn't have been into me in the first place"

"Y/n, that's not true sweetheart, don't say that baby, please"

"I thought you really liked me, I-I didn't know someone had to pay you to date me"

You felt stupid, ridiculous, ashamed, how did you ever think someone like Bucky, the handsome ladies man from day one, would suddenly be into you, some random new trainee turned avenger. You weren't special, nothing about you stood out from others, there was no reason for him to give you attention.

It all made sense now, your heart splitting into two, biting hard on your lip to keep your cries down, you couldn't believe how stupid you'd been to think he actually liked you from the start.

"No baby, you had me from day one-"

"P-please don't l-lie to m-me" You hiccupped, making a bee line straight to you room as soon as the elevator doors opened, not looking back once. You locked your door before Bucky could catch up, ignoring his persistent soft knocks, begging for you to give him a chance to explain.

"Y/n, bella, please, open the door sweetheart, I love you, I promise truly love you so much, I'm so sorry baby, I need to talk to you, please" Bucky sniffled, his forehead pressed to your door in defeat, now letting the tears fall freely. He stayed rooted in place, slumping down with his head between his knees, running his hands through his short locks in frustration. The only thing he cared about was making you happy and he was the one who screwed it up.

You clutched onto your sheets, trembling as sobs wracked your body, thinking back to all the moments you thought were so sweet, moments where you thought you were both falling in love, now realizing they were nothing more than a ploy to get $200.

You remembered your first date, thinking about how cute Bucky looked with a tiny dollop of ice cream on his perfect nose, how nervous you were to swipe it off, your heart racing when you told him he looked adorable. It took every fiber of your very being to muster the courage to do that but it had meant nothing to him.

You had been stupid to think he liked you too when he asked you out again; you remembered the way your entire body felt like it had been lit on fire when he had you pinned you under him, growing bashfully shy when he helped you up onto your feet, everything a part of his plan to eventually dump you.

You felt ridiculous. You were not gorgeous like Natasha or enhanced like Wanda. What made you think the very Sergeant James Barnes would have his eye on you of all people.

You should have known.

-

"Do you hear that?" Steve paused the movie, hearing a muffled cry from the corridor, his brows furrowing at the sniffles that followed. Sam nodded with a frown, both men getting up and peering into the hallway, surprised to find the super soldier sitting against your door, eyes and nose red from crying.

"Bucky?" Steve was by his best friends side in an instant, kneeling before him, helping him up to onto his feet.

"What happened, where's y/n" Sam blinking hearing crying from inside your room, his stomach churning when Bucky shrugged, chewing on his trembling lip to keep from breaking down again. Bucky let Steve lead him into his room, sitting on the edge of the bed, gripping onto the sheets till they nearly tore.

"What the hell happened Buck"

"She found out bout the bet" Bucky whispered, fresh tears streaming down his face when he remembered how defeated you looked with betrayal. "She knows I asked her out because of it"

"Fuck" Sam hissed while Steve ran a hand over his face. They felt equally responsible for hurting you for having suggested the bet in the first place, also piecing together you must have over heard them when they were talking earlier. Steve was sick with guilt while Sam also slumped onto the couch, all three men feeling awful for hurting you.

"Did you talk to her?"

"She doesn't want to even look at me" Bucky shook his head before burying his face in his hands again, unable to stop from crying; there was a good chance he lost you forever and it was his fault.

"Just-just give her some time" Steve threw an arm over Bucky, while mentally hitting himself for being part of the mess, hoping you'd forgive his best friend who was deeply and utterly in love with you.

-

You woke up with a throbbing headache, staying in bed for longer than usual. You felt more embarrassed than the night before realizing others must have known the true nature of your relationship with Bucky. Not only did Bucky not really like you in the first place but he'd only even looked your way because he was sure he wouldn't fall for you.

You kept to yourself for the first few days. You'd managed to wake up earlier than everyone else so you could eat breakfast and train alone, only to eat dinner extra late after everyone had gone to sleep. It wasn't difficult given your skill set; you slinked about undetected, evading the other avengers every time they knocked on your door to check on you.

Bucky tried to find you every single day, spending each night falling asleep by your door, ignoring the worsening kink in his neck, hoping he'd get get to see you just once, one time so he could at least apologize to you properly.

Two full weeks had gone by and you some how only felt worse. You hated hearing Bucky cry when you walked by his room but then you'd remember what he did and you couldn't bring yourself to trust him again.

Bucky was a mess. He missed you more than anything; you were his baby, his soul mate, his beautiful sweet bella. He would've given anything just to see you walk down the hall way, anything to hear your voice even if it was you telling him off like he deserved. He wanted you to yell and scream at him, tell him what at ass hole he was, that he was the biggest jerk on the planet, that you hated him, he'd listen to it like it was music if he just got to see you again.

He got his hopes up when a new mission came up requiring all hands on deck; Tony called for a sudden meeting with the full team which meant everyone had to be there. Bucky ran off to the showers within seconds, scrubbing himself with body wash he knew you loved so much before throwing on a tight black t-shirt and jeans that made you all shy and giggly. He knew he was playing dirty, leaving the scuff on his face before spraying on a dash of cologne.

He had to look his best, even if it meant you'd throw your cute little kitten mug at his head. He nervously ran to the conference room, eyes flicking to each individual, his heart dropping when he didn't see you there.

"Damn Barnes" Tony whistled while Steve smiled sadly knowing his bestfriend was hoping to see you. "Who'd you clean up for"

"Where's y/n" Bucky's eyes were pleading with everyone, hoping someone would say you were just running late or that you weren't taking part in the mission.

"She's....she's at the head office" Tony sighed, "She wants a transfer"

"Damn it" Sam had now sat up while Bucky left the room with Steve following behind him. "He needs her, he really loves her"

"I-I can't lose her" Bucky sobbed, shaking his head, clutching onto the card you had given him on your anniversary. He'd read every word 100 times over, memorizing it to heart, careful not to crush the paper as he pressed it to his chest. "She's everything to me"

"Look, it's out fault too. We're the ones who suggested the stupid thing, we'll get her back" Steve gave him a reassuring squeeze and Sam nodded.

"I feel like shit man, the whole thing was meant to be a dumb joke, we love her too, we're not just gonna let her leave like this, not our y/n, okay? That's our girl"

"C'mon, lets go get your girl back, punk"

-

You frowned as you entered through the main doors of the compound, finding it unusually quiet when everyone should have been at home since they'd just gotten back from their mission. You felt conflicted after your meeting with Fury and Agent Hill, both of them asking you to reconsider your request to transfer. You told them you'd think about it but you were certain over your decision.

You couldn't face the team any more and your were too embarrassed to look at Bucky again. You didn't mind working in the office and starting over, figuring that would be the best way to mend your heart.

You made your way up to your room, a little red envelope sitting on your pillow catching your attention. You were wary as you opened it, your breath catching in your throat as you recognized the handwriting.

To my first and only love,

I don't deserve someone as sweet as you, but I can't bear the thought of you thinking I don't love you with my entire being. I know I don't deserve a second chance, but I need you to know it was always real.

Always.

I've kept it will hidden but it's time for you to see. It's in my favorite hiding spot for your eyes only.

With all the hugs and kisses in the worlds,

JBB

You knew exactly what spot Bucky was referring to, thinking back to the early days of when you were dating. On more than one occasion, Bucky had grabbed you into his closet, shutting the door when he wanted a few extra moments of privacy before a mission, showering you with 100's of kisses before eventually getting caught and dragged down to the hangar with a bashful grin on his face.

You reluctantly made your way to his room, letting out the breath you were holding when he wasn't inside. The scent of him alone already caused you to feel butterflies but you ignored them as you looked in the closet, finding a shoe box with another red envelope sitting on top for you to read.

To my sweet bella,

You had my heart from day one. You were never supposed to see any of this but you have to know. It's always been you.

Forever and only yours,

JBB

You sat on the floor of the closet as you carefully opened the box, inspecting its contents. Inside was an old, weathering diary with a receipt stuffed in the middle as a bookmark. You opened the page that was marked, surprised to find the receipt from the ice cream place you where you had your first date, the date of the entry a few days before he asked you out.

A new team mate has joined the group. Her name is y/n, y/l/n. She specializes in hand to hand combat and is a trained spy. Tony introduced us to everyone today. I wouldn't mind being her friend but I hope she isn't afraid of me, maybe she's just shy.

The next entry was from the day Sam and Steve made the bet

I doubt I'll forget this but I'm writing it down anyway. 2 months for 200 dollars. Seems stupid but what's the worst that could happen, it's not like she'd actually fall for me anyway.

Then there was the entry after your first date.

She's probably one of the sweetest people I've ever met; I don't want to forget this day, bet or not. She wore a sun dress and she laughed at all my jokes. She called me adorable. Her hands felt so soft. I'm sure its in her nature to be so kind but I wish it was just for me. Maybe I'll ask her out again.

A few days later.

I swear I'm falling in love with her more and more each day and she doesn't even have a clue. I don't know how to show her she's special to me, you'd think I'd be better at this. I hope one day she feels the same way.

And then

I love her. So much. Ma would have loved her. I hope one day she says yes.

You let out a wet laugh at the entries became sappier, each one detailing how hard he was falling for you, all the little details of your dates filling the pages, your heart breaking when you realized he wrote as much as he could remember so he'd never forget. He didn't mention the bet in any of the pages because he'd forgotten about it completely, fully focused on making you officially his.

The diary was sacred to him, a private place where he recounted his most precious memories, the one thing he'd never share with anyone but he decided to share it with you because you had to know. It was one of the few places he poured his heart and soul into with no filter, some of his darkest memories scrawled onto the pages but after he'd met you, it changed. Page after page filled with nothing but sweetness, pure and untainted love. You wiped the tears away, carefully placing the diary back in its proper hiding spot before making your way downstairs hoping to find him.

You found a trail of petals that hadn't been there earlier leading to the living room, walking to a very remorseful looking Sam, Steve and of course Bucky, all three men clutching onto teddy bears along with a blanket fort hoisted up in front of the large TV screen.

"What-what is all this?" You whispered, hesitantly walking towards them with Sam stepping forward first, wrapping you up in a bone crushing hug.

"We're really sorry sweetheart" Sam murmured into your hair, hugging you tightly against him, "we never wanted to hurt you, we love you baby, truly"

"You're special to us darling" Steve came over next, pressing a firm kiss to your head, his large arms holding you in a comforting embrace, "We're idiots, you didn't deserve that, don't leave because of us sweetheart, it's not the same without you"

"It's-its okay"

"It's not, we know it isn't but just know we really do love you, okay? Especially him" Steve whispered the last part with a small smile, looking over to his best friend who was anxiously shuffling on his feet, clutching the largest bear in his hands.

You hugged onto the two little teddies from Sam and Steve, kissing their cheeks before they quietly left you and Bucky alone for some privacy. You set them down on the sofa, suddenly feeling nervous when it was just you and Bucky, anxiety and embarrassment attempting to claw its way back up again.

"I'm so sorry bella" Bucky hesitantly reached out for you, scared you'd pull away, relief flooding his body when you allowed him to pull you in for a hug. "My pretty girl, m'so sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen baby"

"You-you really liked me after?" you felt silly for asking such a thing but you couldn't help it, you had to know, your soft doe eyes pleading with him to be honest with you, "You don't have to lie Bucky, it's okay if you didn't-

"You're breakin' my heart babygirl, of course I did. Of course I liked you sweets, I fell hard and fast for you, it would've happened with or without that stupid bed. I wouldn't have been able to resist that smile or that laugh, nothing would've kept me away from you"

Bucky scooped you into his arms and sat you down on his lap and he settled under the blanket fort, keeping you straddled on him while his hands wrapped around your waist.

"Believe me when I say you're the only girl I've ever fallen for, the only one I've ever wanted. I never ever wanted to hurt you baby and I'll spend the rest of my life making sure you never cry again, if you'd have me. I hate seeing you cry sweets, especially because of me. I just want to love you baby, please?"

His voice cracked at the end, bottom lip quivering as he nervously traced his thumbs along your hips. What if he lost you forever, he wouldn't know what to do with himself, not when he adored you so much.

"I love you y/n, you're my dream girl, my everything, no one else comes even close-"

You cut off his rambling, smashing your lips against his, a soft sob slipping past his lips between kisses as he desperately clung onto you.

"Do-do you forgive me?" Bucky sniffled, breathing out a sigh of relief when you pressed your forehead against his, nodding and slinging your arms around his shoulders. "Please say it angel, I-fuck-I'm so sorry, I missed you so much"

"I forgive you" you whispered, squeaking when Bucky pulled you to cuddle into the pile of pillows and blankets he'd laid out, wanting nothing more than to kiss and cuddle you between cute cheesy rom coms you loved so much. He smiled at the giggles you let out as he attacked you with unrelenting kisses again, breathing in your scent and feeling your body finally wrapped up with his again.

"I missed you so much angel"

"Missed you to Jamie" You kissed his nose, caressing his face as he nuzzled into the crook of your neck, knowing Sam and Steve were probably creeping from some corner. "I love you"

"Love you more bella" Bucky smiled, letting you pick a movie, pulling a fluffy blanket up to cover you both. "Loved you from day one"

[kaija-rayne-author]

I did it. I beat Veilguard a second time. On normal/hard as a warrior.

It really wasn't me. The damned game was made for warrior players. Fuck the rest of us. I can't describe how bad I am at tanking. I even asked my husband if I was better at tanking than I thought. He laughed his ass off. Two votes for how bad I am at it. 🤣😅.

I fucking flew through VG in half the time it took me to do it with my rogue. That much of a time invested difference can't be just because they fixed bugs (they did), or because I knew the game (I generally have the working memory of a goldfish). And I didn't break any keys from having to use them too often. (Broke the W key playing my rogue because I had to flip out of the way so much.)

The game is just unbalanced, sooooo badly. Heavily weighted and maximized for warrior players who like bashing barrels. Gods. Still, why the barrels?

This time, I knew what I was in for, so didn't sit there nigh paralyzed with horror at what they did to one of my favourite franchises. So I caught more that I hadn’t.

Still hate it. I'd never have gotten through if I hadn’t been high. I can see why players who don't give a shit about lore, world building, and well-designed characters might like it. Or even folks who just prefer fighting. It's just 1. Not for me. And 2. Not even remotely Dragon Age.

What a waste of so many things.

Now I can happily uninstall it and move the fuck on (I hope).

And for fuck’s sake, that 'romantic ending' for Solavellan is still as bloody romantic as a tooth extraction. Sans anesthesia.

Emmerich, however, is my darling. I truly, honestly loved his romance.

I'm a sucker for a truly romantic gentleman. The difference between Lucanis romance and Emmerich romance is ridiculous.

I'm an editor/romance writer. I have a clue.

I will say that if it hadn’t been trying to be Dragon Age, it probably would've been a perfectly fine mid-level on quality, generic fantasy hack n'slash.

And it likely would've sold better, too. Those sales numbers... ouch.

This is probably gonna come off arrogant, but I would actually like to be wrong sometimes.

The BioWare I loved has definitely died a slow, wasting death. I won't be purchasing their products moving forward. I won't be touching a single thing Epler and Busche have anything to do with in future either.

Rest in Peace, the BioWare who gave us DAO/DA2/DAI. The one who set the standards for CRPG. The one who invented companions in games. The one that had good writing, decent storylines, amazing characters and were made with love. None of them were perfect, but they weren't DAV.

The BioWare of today? Yeah, I hope it sinks as if it had a million anchors tied to it. Epler is gone, Busche is gone. Sink already.

[cressidagrey]

Something good and right and real - Chapter 4

Summary:

Azriel had spent centuries believing that he of all people didn't deserve a mate. And if anything, the last three years had just galvinised that particular belief. And then he meets her.

The first time Oriana met Azriel, she thought that he reminded her of a skittish cat. Shy and a little bit broken. Good for him that she absolutely excelled in fixing the things around her.

Warnings:

Rhys Bashing, Discussion of Murder

Notes:

I put a lot of world building into this. If you don't recognise it from canon, I probably invented. Or I forgot that canon existed.

(thanks to @firefly-graphics for the super pretty dividers!)

He actually did buy flowers to hand to Cassian, only to have a shadow whisk them away as soon as his brother started sneezing uncontrollably. 

Cassian‘s scowl was a beauty to behold after all. 

The same evening, he came to see Oriana again. It was a daily thing these days unless he wasn’t in Velaris. And if he wasn’t in Velaris, his shadows kept tabs on her for him. never telling him any more than Mistress seems happy, Master. She went out dancing with friends this evening. Or Mistress is working on Master’s armour, again. 

Oriana knew they did so and still wore one tendril unapologetically wrapped around her wrist or heck, depending on what she was doing at the time. 

And in return, Azriel was quite certain that if he weren’t already in love with Oriana his shadows would try to start a love affair all on their own. 

They tried to get as close to her as possible, always some of them staying with her and Azriel waited on the day that some of the tendrils would start a fight about who got to stay with Oriana for the day. 

The shadow travelled right inside her living room as soon as the shadows gave the all-clear. No need to use the front door like everybody else. 

Azriel found her on her couch, the low table in front of it covered with books and documents filled with loopy handwriting. 

Her own, he realised. He had never seen her write before but this was clearly her handwriting as she was diligently taking notes in the same handwriting right now. 

“Thank you for the flowers, they were gorgeous, sweetling,” she told him, looking up from her work, that bright smile that he adored on her face,  and he couldn’t help himself but to sit down right next to her, even when the couch was gonna be uncomfortable for his wings. He sat down next to her and he pulled her against her side. 

She was fresh out of her shower when the towel that was keeping her hair contained was anything to go by, dressed in a bright yellow silk robe that tied closed, and was maybe modest with long sleeves and just the hint of a v-neckline but also draped over her curves like liquid. 

He couldn’t help it when he pulled her against him, pressing a soft kiss against her lips as she turned her head into him, tasting something sweet and smelling warmth and something spicy that by now he knew was the soap she used. 

This was as close to paradise as he had ever come before. 

Whatever shit he had dealt with during the day, as soon as he got to hold Oriana during the evening…it all was fine as far as he was concerned. 

Especially when he got to kiss her like that, soft and lazy and exploratory, a warm hand curling into the back of his neck and her lush curves pressed against him. 

It made him feel warm in the best way. 

“I bought them to fuck with my brother,” he admitted as he pulled back slightly. “He’s allergic.”

“You know, there are lots of things I want to talk to you about right now, but your brother is quite low on that list,” Oriana whispered hoarsely and he couldn’t help but laugh and then groan in the next kiss as she moved so that she could straddle them. He caught her knee, carefully making sure that she wasn’t going to jam Truth-Teller into the soft flesh of her thigh and then settled his hands on her hips. 

He wanted to touch her. Everywhere he could get away with. He started with her hips, allowing himself to feel how solid she was in his grasp. 

The lightest touches because he never wanted to put a single bruise on her skin, even when he didn’t think they would even be visible on the skin the colour of the pitch black night. 

His hands slid higher up, over the dip of her waist and up her ribcage, feeling every inch, the silk soft underneath his fingertips. 

And then finally they slid even higher, up to the soft swell of her breasts, and he waited for her to call a stop to it, but she didn’t. 

Oriana didn’t even hesitate as she pressed into his hands, arching her back, her skin warm and soft and…

And then his shadows flinched violently and the smell of burning hair assaulted his nose and Oriana scrambled off his lap, the collar of her dressing gown in flames. 

He could just stare at her wide-eyed as he watched her stare at the flames, seemingly willing them into submission with not even a touch. 

It took longer than he had ever seen her need before until they went out, only leaving slight smoking fabric behind.

The marigold yellow of her gown, tinted with black, was ruined. 

“Are you alright?” he finally dared to ask her, because he had never seen her lose control of her powers in such a way. “ Oriana .”

“I really need to work on this fucking necklace,” she cursed. 

Only now, he saw that the gown was singed in the places where it touched the gold, thumb-thick necklace encircling her throat. 

This hadn’t been her losing control of her powers, he realised suddenly. It was something else entirely . 

It was that necklace with the enchantment on it that she had agreed was a chastity device. 

And he had triggered it. Not with his anger. It hadn’t lashed out at him . 

It had lashed out at her . 

“Why?” he finally breathed. This didn’t…was this the prize that she needed to pay for the protection it offered? Or was it…

“Because I was stupid when I made it, Azriel,” Oriana admitted, her voice dark. “I ignored every safety precaution I was taught to use. I didn’t use a blank necklace that never held an enchantment. I layered it over an already existing fidelity enchantment. I thought it wouldn’t do anything because the person the fidelity enchantment was locked onto was dead. But clearly, I am wrong,” she muttered. 

And suddenly the pieces came together. 

“…That’s your wedding necklace,” he brought out weakly and she just nodded. 

This was the necklace her husband had given her on their wedding day. The one that she would have only taken off after he died. 

And she hadn’t. 

“You are still wearing it.”

It was like somebody stabbed him. 

He wasn’t even sure why. He had known that she had been married.

It hadn’t bothered him. She was two centuries old, of course, she had a history. A long history, that he didn’t know about and it would be ridiculous for him to expect that there never had been anybody that she had loved. 

And he had believed her when she had told him that she was over her late husband. 

And now he found out that Oriana still wore her wedding necklace. 

“Yes,” Oriana agreed softly. “And no, it’s not because I am still hung up over Wynstan. Get that idea out of your head, please.” She sighed. “I put the enchantment on literal days after he died. Traditionally I would be expected to wear the necklace for at least a year after his death during my mourning period. I just am still wearing a century later,” she explained. “I need to take it off, but to do that, I need to break my enchantment. Which is what I was working on,” she said, a hand waving to all the pieces of paper spread over her couch table. 

She went to sit next to him again and he couldn’t…he couldn’t reach out for her. Not when…

“Well, that and some research for your armour,” Oriana explained, the flames in her eyes openly there, not hidden beneath the pitch black she pulled over it to make other people more comfortable. She sat there quietly, perusing him. 

“Please don’t look at me like you think I still love him and would pick him over you,” she whispered and he couldn’t help but flinch, because she put it into words. 

Every self-conscious thought that had been swirling through his head. All there. 

“I… You spent a hundred years with the necklace he put around your throat,” he said softly. 

That meant something, didn’t it? 

Oriana cocked her head to the side. 

“You spent 500 years in love with another woman. You have only known me for weeks,” she gave back, her voice even. 

It hit the intended spot. 

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. 

Master, she is saying the truth, his shadows whispered nearly hesitantly. 

“We both have a past, Azriel,” Oriana said quietly. “There are going to be times when that shows up again. And it will get messy. But I promise you, that I am going to be honest with you about my feelings. And I swear to you, that I am all in on this.” He could hear the truth in that. “ I swear. ”

He was too. Somewhere along the line, he had already fallen in love with her. Somewhere along the way, she had become…important to him. 

Too important to fuck this up, over this. 

“I am too,” he promised her.  “I…I want this to work between us.”

“So you aren’t going to be jealous over a dead male?” she asked him flatly and he swallowed. Oriana sighed. “You have something that he never had, Azriel.”

The way that she said that made him stare at her. 

Wynstan had had Oriana as his wife. He had married her, clearly with the agreement of her family, because otherwise, it wouldn’t have been an arranged marriage. It had been prosperous for them for some reason. They had wanted them to be married. 

And then there was him. 

An Illyrian bastard with nothing to his name, but the hundreds of people he had killed and tortured. 

Oriana mustered him, holding out a hand and he slipped his own into her. 

“Sweetling…you have me,” Oriana said with a soft smile. “You have all of me.” 

Somehow that was exactly what he needed to hear. 

Still, he concentrated on the half-burned collar of her dressing gown. 

“I liked that one,” he managed to bring out, reaching out for the still-smoking fabric. 

“I’ll get another one like it,” Oriana said easily. “Maybe in blue this time,” she said, a teasing lilt in her voice.

He swallowed, but still reached out to tip her head back and take another look at that damn necklace. Thumb-thick, round, diamonds scattered throughout.

“Did you make this?” he asked her. “Not the enchantment, the actual necklace.”

“No, traditionally, the husband makes it,” Oriana said easily. “Wynstan did. It wasn’t what I would have picked,” she admitted with a shrug. 

No, it seemed to be too….big for her tastes. Most of the jewellery he had seen her wear was gold with few stones. None of them were that massive…most of it was intricate, more like a spider web than a blunt object. 

This was the latter. 

He reached out to touch it, but she caught his wrist. “Careful, it’s hot. I don't want you to hurt your hands,” she warned him softly.

Azriel just looked at her. “They got through worse.”

She gave in with a sigh. 

The metal was hot to the touch but not painful and as he lifted it up, he couldn’t help but hiss in sympathy as he saw the skin underneath it. 

“Nothing that won’t heal,” Oriana said quietly. “Magical fire can still hurt me, but I’ll heal quickly from it.” 

Yes, but he knew burns and how much they hurt. 

And they could at least do something against the pain. 

“Where do you keep your apothecary stuff?” he asked her instead.

“Under the sink,” Oriana answered, sounding rather bemused. 

That’s all he needed to know, as he went to retrieve it and then very carefully put the salve on the burns surrounding her neck. 

It was his turn to fuss for once, he reflected with a grimace. 

Still, as he slid his fingertips over her soft skin and he watched her dark eyes slide closed, Azriel realised that he wasn’t going to just stand by and not say a single thing. 

“I really like you,” he finally said softly. He couldn’t say I love you. Not now. Not right now. Maybe never. He had never even thought of these words before but it was there. 

There was like that small kernel of fire that lit within him these days, the remnants of that fledgling mating bond, when he could feel Oriana’s happiness and how content she was, nearly every day. Especially when he got to see her. 

He liked to keep tabs on her like that, a part of him absentmindedly monitoring her moods throughout the day. She was very comfortable to have close like that, mostly because Oriana’s emotions were very…even most of the time. It was rare that he got anything but really nice feelings from her at all. 

Still, as he said these words, the soft happiness that he could normally feel from her whenever he was with her, turned into the sun, bright and shining and irrevocably ecstatic.

“I really like you too,” Oriana responded, her smile so bright that it looked like it must have hurt.

He cupped her face in his hands, so violently scarred as he held his very happiness in his hands and pressed one single chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth. All he was willing to risk. At least until they got rid of that necklace of hers. 

He was not going to risk her getting hurt again. 

He was not. 

Regardless of how much he wanted to touch her satiny skin and press kisses to…everywhere she would let him touch her. 

“My grandmother’s birthday is in a few days. I am going to go back into the mountain…I am going to get rid of the necklace,” she told him and his fingers froze. 

“Can you do that? Is it safe?” he asked her carefully. 

“I created it. I can unmake it,” Oriana said softly. “I was researching it when you came in.”

“You were?” 

“That and a way to make the metal malleable but still have it keep the strength to save somebody from getting stabbed,” she explained. “I’ll get some metal in these fighting leathers of yours, even when it’s the last thing I do,” she told him fiercely and a soft smile appeared on his face at that. 

“Is it possible for metal to behave like that?” Azriel asked her and she shrugged. 

“Well, I haven’t found a way yet…but that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible. I’ll figure it out,” she said thoughtfully. Somehow he didn’t doubt for one moment that if there was a way to figure it out, Oriana would do it. He finally pulled his hands back, looking at the stacks of papers on her table. 

“Anything I can do to help?” Azriel offered. He was quite certain that he wouldn’t understand a word on these pages but Oriana just shook her head, grimacing.  

“Unless you have a huge research library, not really,” Oriana quipped. 

Azriel didn’t. But he knew somebody that did. 

“Well…if you tell me what you need, I’ll get it for you,” Azriel finally said  

The smile that she gave him was definitely worth it. 

So, when Oriana produced a list of books she wanted, on the topics she needed, he took that list and brought it with him to the House of Wind the very next day. 

Finding Gwyn was easy, thanks to her bright red hair that flowed behind her, busy putting some books back on the shelves. He made sure to make noise as he approached, not wanting to spook her. 

She turned before he even said a word. 

“Azriel!” she greeted him brightly. “What brings you here?”

“I…I need your help, please,” he said and her ocean-blue eyes widened. 

“My help? Of course,” she agreed. “What do you need?” He wanted to make a quip about her being careful what she promised, but he didn’t.

“I am working together with a blacksmith for…some weapon redesigns. I have a list of research material I am supposed to procure,” he explained. It wasn’t a lie. Not an outright one. Hopefully, nothing anybody would even think twice about if Gwyn mentioned to them. 

He had managed to keep Oriana a secret from Rhys but…well, it was always there in the back of his mind. 

He still didn’t want anybody to know, still wanted to protect the fledgling thing between them. 

It was his private life. 

He had never known happiness like he got right now and he would do anything in his power to keep it. 

And if that meant that he wasn’t going to tell any member of his family about Oriana, then he wasn’t. 

It was his secret to keep after all. 

“Well, the library is at your disposal,” Gwyn said, giving him a soft smile. “Do you have a list? Let me see.” 

So he handed over a piece of paper covered in Oriana’s handwriting and trailed after Gwyn as she led him through the labyrinth that was the library, helping him pull everything Oriana had requested…and a few books that Gwyn thought would also fit the bill. 

“Thank you. This has been…very helpful, Gwyn,” he said when he had a whole stack of them to check out and she grinned at him. 

“Of course! Can I see what you come up with when it’s finished?” she asked. 

“I’ll let you know,” he promised her. “But it will probably take a little while.” 

He wasn’t going to put any time pressure on Oriana. Not when she did all of this for him, just because. 

Every time he looked at his Siphons, he couldn’t help but smile slightly at them after all. 

“That’s fine.” Gwyn agreed, looking like she wanted to say something else, nervously tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I…Azriel…” 

“Yes?” he asked. What was this about now? Why was she looking nervous? Was something going on?

“Would you like to have dinner sometime?” Gwyn blurted out and he wasn’t the only one that froze in place. His shadows did too. None of them had expected these words. “I…Like a date,” Gwyn continued.

Oh. 

Oh. 

He opened his mouth but no words managed to come out. This really wasn’t what…he had expected. 

And he didn’t really know how to react to it, because…

Females didn’t want to date him. He had realised that a very long time ago. What he wanted never mattered either, because nobody wanted that from him. 

He wasn’t good enough to have that. 

His shadows squeezed him in warning, not liking how he thought about himself, but it was the truth. 

Gwyn deserved so much better than him.  He didn’t want to hurt Gwyn’s feelings because she was a friend…and he also didn’t want Nesta to try and kill him. Or Gwyn herself. 

He was with Oriana. Who for some reason didn’t seem to care that she definitely also deserved better than him. But nobody knew that. 

And he would like to keep it that way. 

Still, he knew how much bravery this must have taken from Gwyn and… 

“I just thought that…” Gwyn started and Azriel interrupted her. 

“Gwyn,” he said quietly. “I am…very flattered but I am… very much spoken for.” Was…was this…letting her down gently? Without hurting her feelings? 

If she even had feelings for him. He couldn’t imagine why she would have, but he still didn’t want her to be…

Gwyn’s bright blue eyes widened. “You are?” she asked, sounding surprised. “Oh. I am so sorry, I didn’t know that you…”

“No, you couldn’t have known, Gwyn,” he hurried to add. “It’s...” It was new. It was so perfect, making him so happy and…none of the words in his brain seemed to be enough. “It’s...new,” he finally settled on, the word lacking. 

He just hoped that Cassian was not going to find out about this, because if he was…then any hope of Rhys not finding out about Oriana was gone. 

The whole of Velaris would probably know.

“Thank you. Truly,” he added and then he was out there like a bat out of hell. 

Now he just needed to figure out how to explain this to Oriana. 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The fact that Azriel came to her, his ears blushing beet red and nearly stuttering as he told her about being asked out on a date by a pretty female, was surprisingly charming. 

“Well, you are a very attractive male, Azriel. Being asked out shouldn’t surprise you,” she told him, halfway between teasing and being serious. 

“Nobody wants to date me,” he gave back, his voice matter of fact. “And if I want to fuck someone, I should go to a pleasure hall and pay for it,” he muttered under his breath. The crude words were in such a sharp contrast to how he normally talked that she could just stare at him, her eyebrows raised. 

These weren’t his words. 

Somebody had said that to him. 

“Who said that to you?” she asked him, the anger rising in the back of her throat, so bitter that she could taste it. “Azriel, who said that to you?”

“What?” he asked her, staring at her, hazel eyes wide. 

“Who said that to you, Azriel?” she repeated. “These aren’t your words. Who said that to you?”

She would like to have words with whoever said that to him. 

She didn’t know the context didn’t know when that was said, but she knew, she just knew how Azriel had understood them. 

“I…” his voice was so quiet and she reached out a shaky hand for his face, cupping his cheek as he closed his eyes and she could see see the disgust for himself etched on every one of his features. 

“Somebody said that to you,” she repeated, her voice shaky. “Somebody said that to you and you took it to mean that you don’t deserve to be loved or to be taken care of because the only way anybody would ever want to sleep with you would be if you paid for it.” He seemed to slump together at her words, even the wings shuddering as she hit on what must have been every single insecurity he had in one fell swoop. 

She hated herself for voicing it. She hated it, to see how he shuddered, his jaw so tight and she was sure that he was holding back a sob or something else, and all he could do was to stand in front of him and cradle his head in her hands. 

She hesitantly slid a hand up his back, careful not to jostle his wings. He slumped into her, a shaky breath escaping her, as she took his weight without a single complaint, holding him as tightly as she dared. 

“Oh, sweetling,” she whispered, pressing a kiss against his temple. “It’s alright. It’s all going to be fine.” 

She felt more than she heard him break, right there in her arms. 

She swallowed. She didn’t think she was ever going to see this. Not like this. But Azriel broke apart, his back shuddering and the first tears hit her skin, scalding hot. She ignored it. She said nothing as he cried, did nothing but rub her hands along the side of his back and pressed kisses against his hair. 

“I want to date you,” she finally said quietly. “I am dating you.”

“We don’t even leave your house,” he protested his voice shaky, head still buried against the side of her neck and she huffed. 

“That doesn’t matter,” she gave back sharply. “We got to the woods and you let me try to stab you and utterly fail. We don’t leave the house because I didn’t think you wanted to. I don’t care what we do if I get to spend time with you. We can do nothing but hang around in the forge. I am completely happy to do anything you want,” she said softly. “Maybe one day I am going to show you how we used to dance in the mountains. Maybe we’ll go flying about Velaris and you can make fun of my weak stomach and I’ll stare at your wings and want to touch them because they are so beautiful. You are so beautiful, Azriel.” 

“And one day in the future I want to sleep with you and you won’t pay me for that in any way, other than your love for me,” she said, her voice fierce. “And you deserve all of that and more.” 

She didn’t think that she was ever going to get that in his thick head. Not completely. 

“And whoever said that to you, give me a name and I’ll burn them to a bloody crisp,” she promised him and his shoulders shuddered again into something akin to a laugh.  

“I wouldn’t suggest that. He can be quite fierce,” Azriel whispered, his voice hoarse and Oriana just hummed. 

“I can be fierce too,” she said drily. 

She could be. 

And she was really pissed off right now. 

“Alright, come on,” she finally said quietly. “We’ll do my favourite thing if I feel like everything sucks,” she told him drily and Azriel finally pulled his head back. His eyes were red and he still looked…upset, but she could work with that. 

She led him to her couch, the books that he had brought back for her long forgotten as she pulled the ugliest throw blanket that she had ever seen off the back of it and pulled it over his shoulders. 

She watched him taken in the crochet squares, all of them different, the yarn a myriad of different colours. 

“Where did you get that from?” he asked her, and she sighed. 

“A few years ago, I had a phase where I tried to learn how to crochet. This was the single result,” she explained. “I suck at it.” It still pissed her off that it had been the one craft she had ever tried that she hadn’t been able to get the hand out of. 

She went to the kitchen,  leaving him on the couch, though she kept a weather eyes on Azriel as he stared at her throw blanket with more than one hole. 

A few minutes later, she came back, tugging at one corner of the blanket so that she could sit next to him and have it cover her as well. 

She handed him an absolutely massive mug. 

“Hot chocolate?” he asked her, one corner of his mouth twitching up. She nodded. 

“I have a horrible sweet tooth,” she admitted with a sigh. Oriana figured as far as vices went that one was quite benign, but still.

“You want to know a secret? Me too,” Azriel told her softly and she grinned at him, intertwining their hands. 

Crisis averted. At least for the moment. 

Still, she didn’t forget that he hadn’t actually admitted to her who had told him that. Or in what context.

“The female that asked you out. She’s a friend?” she asked and Azriel nodded, his voice still hoarse. “Yes. I…It’s a long story,” he said quietly. “She works in that library where I got your books from. We met a few years ago, I…I got her to safety after…something happened to her. She was…traumatised. But she’s doing much better now. I have worked together with her for a few years. I thought we were friends.”

“You still are friends. I imagine you let her down gently,” Oriana said, gently jostling him with her shoulder and Azriel shrugged.  

“I told her that I was spoken for,” he said, his voice sounding unsure. 

“You are,” she agreed. “I am too. And that was very gentle, Azriel. She’ll get over you,” she promised him. At least she hoped so, for the other female’s sake. Oriana wasn’t going to let Azriel go if she had another choice on that matter, after all. 

“She’s nice,” Azriel said softly. “I like her. I just…feel bad. I don’t even know why. She could find somebody better than me in a heartbeat,” he said and once again she heard the things that he didn’t say. How he deserved seemingly every bit of pain anybody threw at him and was just expected to take it all. 

“I don’t think so. I don’t think many males are better than you,” Oriana said, her voice even and he looked at her startled. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. Like you are worth nothing,” she told him tightly. She wasn’t going to stand for that. 

But that wasn’t why she had asked that question. “What does she like? She’s helping with my research. I think I owe her a thank-you gift,” she asked him and Azriel stared at her. 

“I have no clue,” he admitted finally 

She hummed. “Alright. I’ll think of something,” she promised easily. 

One enchanted teapot later, Oriana figured that it was probably the best thing she could come up with. She didn’t want to make jewellery, because even if Azriel gave it to her and told her that it was from Oriana it still had a…romantic taste to it. So a teapot it was. Oriana just hoped that the other female drink tea. 

Still, it was fun to make something like that for once. Completely not needed, and still fun to make. 

Even with that…it didn’t stop her from stewing in her own anger about what that mysterious person had told Azriel. 

It was there in the back of his head even when she finished packing up her things to take to the mountain for her grandmother’s birthday a few days later. She had said her goodbye to Azriel that morning and he had left her with one tendril of shadow wrapped around her hand. 

Cyrus showed up, his bag in hand, ready for their hour or so of travelling... to their childhood home.  

 “No Briony and the younglings?” she asked him and he shrugged. 

“You know how much she hates the mountain,” he said with a grin. Yeah, she could understand that. “What are you giving grandma for her birthday?”

“Necklace and earrings,” Oriana said, opening the box she had placed them in for Cyrus’ perusal and his eyebrows raised. 

“Very pretty,” he commented. She agreed. Opal and yellow gold. Oriana herself had a love affair with blue opals that day, squirrelling away the prettiest stones whenever she got a new shipment of them. 

“Yeah, I thought so too,” she agreed. She closed her bag, hesitating for a moment. 

“What are you thinking about?” Cyrus asked her. She turned to meet her brother’s gaze. 

“I am ready to take it off.” She didn’t need to say anything more. He understood. No need to spell it out. 

Cyrus stared at her, eyebrows raising. “Is it because of Azriel?” he asked her quietly. 

Yes, but no.  He had just been the last drop in a bucket that was already close to overflowing. 

It was…

“He deserves me being able to give him all of me,” she responded. “He’s my mate.”

They were made for each other. She knew that it didn’t promise a happily ever after…but it did give her something that she had never had before and she wanted it to work out. She really wanted it to work out. She wanted to be with him, really be with him, without even needing to spend one-second thinking about…him. 

“Has he given you all of him?” Cyrus gave back, crossing his arms. She stared at him. “I just mean, that he seems to be very…quiet,” Cyrus defended himself. “Secretive even. How much do you really know about him?” he challenged her. 

“I know enough,” she snapped. 

She did. And yes, maybe Azriel didn’t talk about his past often, and didn’t like to open up to her, but she didn’t think that he did it for any other reason than being terrified of another person hurting him. 

“I don’t disagree with that. I am just worried that you are throwing yourself headfirst into something that…he can’t give you, Oriana,” Cyrus said with a sigh.  

“He’s my mate. I trust him. He has never lied to me,” Oriana responded. “You have been on me for decades to finally take off the necklace. And suddenly you don’t want me to do it anymore?”

Cyrus rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“I am not going to keep holding onto something that has only ever brought me pain because I am too afraid to take the next step,” she said quietly.  

“That’s not…” Cyrus started and she finally had enough. 

“He tried to kill me, Cyrus!”

Her brother flinched. “It was an accident,” Cyrus said quietly. 

She snorted. It wasn’t. It hadn't been an accident. None of it had been. “No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t a bloody accident, and everybody knows that. He knew exactly what he was doing. Wynstan knew, Cyrus,” she forced out these words. She had never said them, before, even when she knew that they were the truth. 

What had happened that day in that forge hadn’t been an accident. And it had ended with him dead and her on the brink of it. But she knew. She knew. 

It had been a freak accident in a sense. It should have killed her, not him. 

Ruby red blood trickling down her body, as the inferno raged around her. The pain, the agony…the spearing pain…

If the wound hadn’t killed her, the magical fire should have. 

Instead, it had turned onto him.  

It should have turned on her, magical fire should have burned her to a crisp. Instead…Instead, it had hurt her. But it had killed him. 

“He knew what he was doing. He knew exactly what he wanted to achieve. And he nearly managed it.”

[yingdu-lover]

I never knew I would be so passionate to say shit about link click ☠️🤣 I mean, it's so angst, life philosophy, metaphor, symbolism shit that I almost forgot to sit and enjoy but NOW when the ' meticulous construction of plot, intertwined parallel narratives and themes and intense philosophical symbolisms' are away, I CAN FINALLY BASH IT BWAHHAAAHAHAHAHA to my heart's content.

so, @whispersoflullaby and I decided to watch THAT godforsaken special episode and we have been inventing creative slurs in our mother tongue since then

Cheng Xiaoshi dives into the body of someone called Sanren laoshi who(via qiao ling) hands them a very...questionable photo.

I SWEAR TO GOD I AM NOT HOMOPHOBIC (maa kaalir dibbi) but that masked person/the very obvious sexual partner of the host is a...MAN?!

they do not seem to be an AFAB person. and also, for some reason that person's voice felt like lu guang's?????????? (I played it repeatedly but that 'look, look, look!' felt very much in lu guang's voice!)

idk is there any sober explanation to this or what the fuck ����😭😭😭😭

the case is (head to toe) weird. it felt very weird and doesn't feel to have any significant connection to the main story. how is this canon?! I mean whatever special episode...Lan studio produced it, right? it has proper OP and ED... that made it look extra funny 🤣

I didn't question my life choices watching this episode! Not for one sec I felt the urge to cry, stupid things were happening in the most stupid and corny anime way possible. They failed their mission (100% cheng xiaoshi's fault) and the lines are so fucking hilarious

"during summer vacation people either

1. sleep to their heart's content

or

2. focus on their hobbies

or

3. post shoddy videos (a man taking pictures of a girl in blue underwear standing in a pool)

what should I do during summer?"

the host's request was to rectify the fuck up and say

"I really like games more than the sea!"

😭🤣🤣 so stupid everything was. And also the underwear thing...HUGE focus on hosts'....

'flexible' and 'cute'?

and ofc

" look, look, look, look, look! you have been staring at me for a while, what? falling in love?" ☠️ broski...sex is over now fuck off and pls kindly wear your trousers or somebody weird will pounce on you like this.

Cheng Xiaoshi's inner eiden was threatening to dominate when he said "oh? Sanren laoshi is not single then?" the zesty voice 🤣☠️ PLZZZ

☠️ why the episode was so weird, horny and hilarious lmao. don't mind grammer I just can't comprehend what I watched. hianime comment section 😭 some are saying wtf but others going like

"samajh nahi aya par link click hain to pura dekha aur accha laga" ☠️

"not quite sure what I watched but this show is peak and I watched it whole-"

noooo you should join us ☠️, link click has made me cry like a pathetic fox howling and all, now it's a slacking episode, I'm gonna call it names ☠️😭🤣 it feels SOOO good to not to intellectualise link click and cry with every fibre of your being

but a few serious things........

1. they wear those summer clothes...the happy visions/memories shown in 'The Eye' are the same

2. Lu Guang really feels...NON TRAUMATIZED? at least I got this feeling. he is just a chill guy, and extra silly, more expressive (I FELT THAT) can it be that it was...in the og timeline? IT FEELS LIKE ONE

this is the actual 'dumb time traveller photo faggots doing silly things together ' in a real sense (the misconception most of us had before we started watching link click???) it's silly through and through trust me

before watching this my brain was so hacked by profound depression (caused by nothing other than link click, surprise!) but I feel 🤣🤣🤣 so good now. had a good night's sleep. I passed out writing the half of the post and now I am writing at 4:30 am ☠️

anyways, I have never seen anyone discussing this episode before so I did it 😭 I am in love with the silly things actually! man I love this head emptu no thot vibe, and those questionable frames ☠️ and that masked man! hsjsjkkakekrisjznfkk why was all of these needed at all! but I loved that 🤣

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

ep 11 the outsiders thoughts let's GO

not even gonna say it. but know I'm thinkin it real real hard

haven't seen scout OR cherry in a hot minute. or much of pony to be honest. more please!!

guys. it's still 240p :( can't see SHITTTT booo

'can't marry a guy you don't love' the curtis brothers whose definitions of love rely so much so on the example their parents set for them you make me sick. n I love you.

SODA N HIS FUCKIN PRETTY FRILLY APRON IM THINKIN ABOUT YOU ALWAYS

pony makin fun of soda n singin a lil song. brothers of all time. good lord. DARRY GIGGLIN AT HIM AOUGH

darry sayin he'd rather a worker then a dreamer any day n pony stopped gigglin IMMEDIATELY to be like HEY. you can be BOTH. most in character thing I've ever seen

how often darry is quotin their parents AOUGH

this guy is tryin to get Darry to buy into this land deal but I'm way too distracted by darry servin insanely hard to focus

'five thousand? oh yeah I just got it in my other pants. last time I saw 5 thousand bucks was on a game show' I dunno somethin about how he delivers this line is very mason mccormick to me

'I wanna be independent. like you' DARRY? look. yes. but also. he's literally a single mom that works two jobs. he didn't CHOOSE to be independent. his folks DIED KNUCKLEHEAD

where the hell does darry think he's gonna get this money.

I love the fact that two is always just. at the dx. Steve WORKS here. why is TWO here.

'im gonna win that beach vacation. n I'm gonna take my two buddies down there' STEVE SODA TWO TRIO I WOULD DO ANYTHIN FOR YA

IS STEVE WEARIN A CROP TOP

pony is so zonked out. man isn't payin a BIT of attention.

AW randy encouragin pony to ask cherry out. also pony drinkin the rest of his coke like a shot before he asks cherry out. aough.

hes so bashful. I love him. he's so uh. um. sorry. uh. AOUGH. I love that kid.

darry walkin around the house on the phone absently kickin at the floor n like whisper shoutin 'I KNOW I know. I know they're gonna ask alot of questions. I can answer them' Boyd gave darry so many kid like mannerisms it's so important to me

SODAS FRILLY APRON AGAIN

soda just got a telegram sayin he won the poster boy thing. there is no way right. like. this has to be Steve n two's doin right. he's so cute tho like absolutely JUMPIN around

SCOUT APPEARANCE

soda absolutely MOPIN that he hasn't heard anythin back. most cartoonish I've ever seen.

OH. I was right this is Steve n two's doin. insane prank. soda is gonna lose his MIND. however Steve n two gigglin AW.

AWWW BUCK SINGIN SODAS PRAISES IS SO SWEET.

wait this is kinda mean. two n steve u are gonna break his HEART.

THE FIRST THING SODA WANTS TO DO WITH HIS PAYCHECK IS SOMETHIN FOR DARRYS BIRTHDAY AOUGHH HES GONNA GET HIM A COLOR TV SO HE CAN WATCH FOOTBALL AWWW

oh shit. soda n a credit card. bad. awful. terrible combo.

the way buck talks about the credit card is so funny. worst thing since the atom bomb. ends marriages. changes the world. evil. worst thing since the invention of money. anyways. here ya go

sodas unfortunately very funny. like. he's actually so cute. I want to pick him up n put him in a jar.

ohhh no. soda. no. soda do NOT buy anythin else with that card he's stressin me out

AOUGH SODA N CHERRY FRIENDSHIP

THEIR DAD HAD A HORSE??? wait. my god. I'm gonna be sick. wait. their dad literally had the same thing with a horse as soda did with Mickey. what the hell. HE GOT HIS LOVE OF HORSES FROM HIS DADDD

there is no way. darry would not go to get a loan like this n put up all their savings like that. I just do not feel it in my bones.

why is two HERE again. just dickin around at the dx while Steve works AGAIN

soda just runnin loose with bucks credit card while Steve n two have to hunt him down actually perfect plot line. no notes.

SODA WALKIN WITH THE HORSES AOUGH COWBOY SODA I LOVE YOU

this is so sad actually. soda actually doesn't have any money n he thinks he's gonna be able to buy a horse apugh

oh SHIT. sodas bill goin to their house n darry bein like hell no we didn't buy all this lemme see who signed. n it is. in fact. his younger brother.

'it's only 2 o clock n we already have a new couch. high fi set. n refrigerator. we gotta find him pony. n fast. who knows what'll show up by 6' soda who is so bad with money I love you so so much. soda who is impulsive I would do anythin for you

WHAT IS THAT. SODA BOUGHT A FUCKIN RV???

'put your hands over your eyes. n you gotta watch darry he always cheats. ever since you were this big' BROTHERS OF ALL TIME I FEAR

LIKE. HELLO. LOOK AT THEM.

soda giggly n so excited I'm gonna be sick. I love that boy.

soda in his fuck ass WETSUIT. MY GOD.

'I can't beleive buck gave you his credit card. he has gotta be outta his mind.' delivered in the most exhausted I know my fuckass younger brother way I've EVER heard

pony tellin soda what happened with the bank turnin darry down for a loan n soda immediately goin 'why didn't he tell me? I wouldn't have argued with him' n the pony sayin 'you know darry. he's got a lot of pride.its hard to be turned down' it's actually so incredibly important to me that sometimes pony n soda play opposite roles. pony who sometimes can see his own stubbornness in darry n soda sometimes who's foolheaded enough to miss the stuff he usually sees

two n steve findin out those boys are STRICKEN

'where's he now pony?' 'probably down at the dx lookin to show off to you two! if he ain't try Mohawk lake he got a wet suit n he's probably tryin it out divin for old tires!!' n pony CRACKIN himself up. ACK. I love that kid

darry delivers the line 'what is he doin here' in the MOST exhausted older brother tone I have EVER heard. no notes. love that guy also. 'why don't you butt out'

sodas actually such a good brother. like. aough. I'm sick to my stomach.

SODA DRIVIN AROUND WITH HIS UGLY BIG ASS RV

'I got this for the three of us!! we gotta get out!! see everythin there is to see!! he'll were probably gonna get drafted next year so we gotta have fun while we can!!' OHHH. IM SICKKK IM SO SO SICKK

'me n the boys are gonna go on the road together!!' 'there ain't gonna be no tour' 'what are you talkin about two you guys are comin with me!' 'we should have told you a long time ago' 'told me what stevie?' ohhhh. guys. ough. nooo. guys. AOUGH. I'm gonna be SICKK

soda literally on the edge of tears gettin back in his big ass RV is literally. unfortunately. givin this

STEVE WAS CRYIN. OHHH. yeah. yeah. cool cool. kill me already.

DARRY IS SO PROUD OF SODA AOUGGGGHHHH. I'm gonna be SICK to my STOMACH.

darry n pony BOTH reamin out two n steve. wow. the wonders of what someone else upsettin soda will do. can even get Darry n pony on the same side.

SODA GOIN TO SEE THE HORSES WHEN HES UPSET. N DARRY N PONY KNOWIN TO GO FIND HIM THERE. AOUGH.

AOUGHHH. CURTIS BOYS I WOULD DO ANYTHIN FOR YOU. (Also that's pony on the left soda in the middle n darry on the right the height difference is SO funny)

STEVE N TWO MADE THEM DINNER WHILE THEY WERE GONE AOUGH

TWO BIT HOLDIN THE PLAN UPSIDE DOWN. AOUGH TWOS GONNA MAKE DINNER FOR A MONTH SO SODA DOESNT HAVE TO COOK. OFFERIN TO DRIVE HIM AROUND. AGH

'no! I put my car up for collateral! n if they come to take my car I'll just build another car!' TV Steve you are so important to me

AOUGH. guys. these boys make me sick. they're so sweet. to each other. sick to my stomach.

'whether win or lose. me n darry n soda won't be chances without all of us bein in on it together'

[fromtheseventhhell]

The majority of Rhaegar/Lyanna stans here are minding their own business but for certain people here (especially "martell stans") is not enough

They keep bashing these characters and they are acting as if they are "oppressed" by Rhaegar's stans

It's boring

This is sooooo true, and why I find Elia/Martell stans to be so annoying even though I love several Martell characters (same with house Stark stans tbh). They love throwing stones and then hiding their hands. They put their hate in the main tags and call Rhaegar a pedophile/rapist/racist/abuser/etc., Lyanna a spoiled brat/heartless temptress, and shit talk shippers cause they think the fanon they invented justifies it but the second a Rhaelya gives a fraction of that energy back, they play the victim. Cause you're right, it's not enough for them. At the root of it, they're forever going to be mad that Rhaegar, Lyanna, and their relationship are popular + important to the story. They swear they don't care but then they never shut up about them. Just another case of people wanting to be morally superior and getting pissy when things don't go their way.

[johaerys-writes]

i just read someone blaming madeline for patrochilles as a couple existing and telling people to write/read apollon x hyacinthus… as if aeschylus, one of the most influential names in greek literature, did not literally write them as a couple back in ancient greece… but it was certainly madeline who came up with the idea!! plus apollon and hyacinthus do not have the same dynamic as patrochilles, acting like apollon and hyacinthus is a substitute for patrochilles is stupid. it makes it seem like you think the person just likes the couple because they're m/m and therefore any m/m couple works for them. i honestly consider this almost something at least slightly motivated by homophobia… something like damn these people should restrict themselves to this ship that I chose because I know what an acceptable queer ship is and, anyway, since they only like queer things without any other personality factor any couple consisting of two men will be their otp! that's not even as complimentary to apollo x hyacinthus as they think it is, it's basically throwing them in the shadow of patrochilles. people really show that they do not read the ancient sources while complaining endlessly that people do not read the ancient sources….

Ah but of course, why don't you ditch your current blonde x brunet pairing and embrace this new and shiny blonde x brunet pairing? After all, they have so much in common.... featuring one blonde and one brunet character 🙄

Honestly, I used to be moderately interested in apollo/hyacinthus, I even enjoyed some art here and there, but the way so many people on tiktok/instagram/tumblr etc recently seem to be trying to push Apollo/Hyacinthus as the new "it" thing, or seem to be in a race to publish the TSOA version of the pairing while simultaneously shitting on tsoa is just.... lmao.... and, you know, that's perfectly fine. Whatever gets people writing and creating is fine by me but why do you need to bash another pairing in order to uplift your own? There's room for everyone here. But a lot of people don't seem to get that. Trying to bring current fandom fuckery and discourse into millenia old ships is at least laughable to me. Like please, I beg you, find another hobby.

(Also, re: the whole "madeline miller invented patrochilles" thing, I just have to quote what a mutual told me recently: when will those ancient Greeks (Aeschylus, Plato, Pindar, Sosias, among others) stop taking inspiration from TSOA for their patrochilles fanfic and fanart???? 🤨 Enough is enough!!)

[hp-confessions]

Bellamort kinda sucks because it is an OOC ship. We don't know enough about Bellatrix to create a canon-close personality, so every Bellamort fanfiction is basically just an "OC" x Voldemort. We know some of her two-dimensional traits and a few mentions of her past and a few facts, but not enough to know who she is as a person. That's why I don't fuck with Jily too, even though I do not dislike the ship; therefore, I just ignore it. Ted and Andromeda are also OOC (you can do pretty much whatever you want with them), but I don't care about them. Same for Narcissa and Lucius. (Still, the difference between these 3 ships and Bellamort is that they are real. When I say OOC, I mean it as 'we don't know their actual personalities'.) I'm all for exploring your creativity and inventing different versions of non-developed characters, but fans of Bellamort claim that it's canon and that it's a great love story or whatever and think Bellatrix is an amazing character when it's just their OC, and in the books there are no hints of mutual romance, nor do we have a developed Bellatrix that we can claim as a good match for Voldemort. The main antagonist. Come on. That's why it's easy to pretend you're in her place, because you can easily project your personality onto her. (Btw, I'm not bashing authors who theorize about Bellatrix as a character; I'm just critizing the fans who say it is a good enough relationship to count as canon.) Hinny sucks too for similar reasons, but they are unfortunately canon. I'm a person who mostly enjoys stories compatible with the 7 books. So if you claim something is and it's not, I will shit on it. Sorry.

~

[yakool-foolio]

Ayyy Maria's here! Oh god, now Gregson's claim of evidence fabrication is in hot water. AYAYAY STRONGHART DON'T PULL THAT SHIT! I BELIEVE KAZUMA IS TRUE TO HIS WORD! Gregson doesn't seem like the type to lie either, even with a sword to his throat, especially if it was to help out Kazuma in chasing down the truth.

Mikotoba coming in clutch! Everyone's working together to solve this case! Klint ate a ring?! Phoenix's role model right there! Wait- retract that, cause this ring might actually be the fabricated evidence we were searching for!

This is the first time Kazuma's ever hearing about Genshin protecting Van Zieks, mere days before his arrest as the supposed Professor. Oh he's not happy in the slightest brace yourselves. He wants Van Zieks to be guilty so bad, he can't even comprehend any other possibility. He believes he's staring Death in the face, unable to fathom that the scythe brought down upon his father did not belong to this caricature of undeserving fate he's crafted in his mind.

A change of heart! But not without Kazuma still bashing Van Zieks. It's a step in the right direction. We'll sentence them to a day stuck together in the 'get along' shirt after this trial's over.

WOAH Sholmes wired the prison?! This man is everywhere all at once! Are there secretly clones of him running around doing errands?

They let Genshin have Karuma in his cell?! He may be bringing a sword to a gun fight, but this is a potential serial killer we're talking about! I guess his true weapon is his word. HEY NOW whaddaya mean Klint wrote the fake will? WAIT this will was not of Genshin's, but of Klint's own final words?! KLINT CHOSE DEATH?! VAN ZIEKS IS NOOOOOOOT OKAY!

UHHHHHHHH CHAT I DUNNO WHAT THE SECRET IS I'M AFRAID I'M VERY AFAID

KLINT WAS THE PROFESSOR?!

Now the suffering that Kazuma bore for all those agonizing years is passed onto Van Zieks in this horrid revelation. Two families drenched in blood.

Baskerville mention after all this time! So it's the maiden name of Klint's wife's family, huh. Not surprising that Sholmes wanted Iris' story naming them to be left unpublished, as they're connected to the Professor case with Klint. Genshin killed Klint to end it all on his own terms, because no one else would listen.

"I did what I had to do" YOU GOT KAZUMA'S DAD KILLED YOU FUCK OHHHHHHH AND YOU USED KAZUMA TO MANIPULATE HIM INTO ACCEPTING THE JAILBREAK PLAN RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE-

AHHHHHHH NOOOOOO AND NOW KAZUMA'S UPSET

Damn Stronghart this horse you refuse to get off of is really tall. He thinks he's such a smartass for confessing to being the Reaper in a closed trial. I'm gonna take so much satisfaction in wiping that smirk off his damn face.

AWW RYUNOSUKE N KAZUMA MIRRORED EACH OTHER! Caiden you better give that message to Kazuma RIGHT NOW! Let him hear his father's last words! 'Twist thy head' ooooo wait has Karuma held a secret this whole time?! IT KEPT KLINT'S WILL THIS WHOLE TIME! YOU CAN'T RUN NOW STRONGHART!

Oh shit Genshin and Klint dueled?! That's one cool way to go out. Yoooooo this art slaps! Stronghart ordered Klint to kill these people, including the former Chief Justice that he then took the title from! Klint's final words were metal af.

By the rash orders of Stronghart, Jigoku shot down his friend... You manipulative son of a bitch! GET HIM KAZUMA, TEAR HIM APART! FINISH WHAT YOUR FATHER STARTED!

OH GOD HE'S BECOMING AN EVEN WORSE GANT AND HE'S STILL NOT QUITING UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHUT UP I BEG YOU NOOOOOOOO WHY IS THE GALLERY ON HIS SIDE

OHHHHHHH SHOOOOOOOOLMES! SHUT THIS FUCKER UP PLEASE! AYYYYY HE'S DANCING! BRO WHAT'RE YOU DOING AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE?! YOU'VE GOT CONNECTIONS TO THE QUEEN DUDE?! This just in: Sholmes invented livestreaming.

TRIAL BY FIRE! LITERALLY! HIS GOOSE IS OFFICIALLY COOKED!

(To Whom It May Concern - @raymondshields)

[hero-israel]

I'm really trying not to panic.....but it's starting to feel more and more difficult to be openly Jewish and have a career in the arts. (I say this as an American Jew in the arts.) It feels like in ten years, if I don't basically commit to being a performatively self-hating Jew as hard as I can, I will have a fuck of a time finding an agent, collaborators, editors, etc -- all those things that make an actual career possible. Especially if I make literally any art about being Jewish. And what gets me is, I'm mixed race. Everyone is fucking desperate for me to perform the "less Jewish" (as they see it) part of me. It's complicated, people are still racist, but in many ways, they want this part. But if I discuss the other....it's not just that they're not interested/no one will pick it up. It's that now, it feels like it's putting a target on my back. Maybe no one will say "wow you filthy fucking Jew" out loud rn if I just make something about Jewish identity that totally sidesteps Israel, but 1. enough of them will think it, and 2. it means everyone will be hungry for ways to be like "oh? Jewish? okay so what are your thoughts on Israel? Are you okay with what's happening in Israel? Or are you a decent person???" Again, rn, maybe they won't say it....but I know people will think it. And enough will say it. And if I ever dare to discuss modern antisemitism in the most anodyne way, I will be completely suspect. The terrible irony is, I work in the comics industry. You know. That one that American Jews fucking built from the ground up.

I am so sorry you are going through that. It is prejudiced, tormenting, and unfair. And it's hard to think of anything I could say that would help. Are there Jewish peers in the industry you could reach out to - someone who could mentor you or at least who has a receptive agent already?

As you said, it is especially maddening to see shit like this happen in an industry that was invented by Jews. Though I guess it shouldn't be too much of a surprise, since the increasingly antisemitic political Left borrows its entire worldview and moral vocabulary from Jewish history and persecution.

Even major comic companies have had recent scandals concerning antisemitic tropes, and as far as the "indie" comic scene, forget it, it's all Joe Sacco or Eli Valley or just acres and acres of snarky snot and clueless tourists finding Judaism alienating and weird or bashing it to rebel against their parents. Jewish people aren't allowed to just exist, we always owe the audience a moral reading at the end, and our deaths aren't necessarily bad if they send the right message.

It is terrible that this rising prejudice is combining with the latent snotty attitudes that had already existed in the industry to add stumbling blocks to your career, and your sense of safety. I earnestly hope you can find trustworthy mentors and agents and that you are able to work around this.

[inchidentally]

i 100p agree with all ur carlando takes dont listen to people lowkey bashing you purposefully behind ur back. they just cant handle their ship not being no 1 priority anymore

oh babe I had already unfollowed any non moots from that fandom so it's not behind my back if I don't even care it exists :)

and the thing is !! I'm the one who responded to an anon about ppl wanting carland0 content saying how we always get sponsored carland0 content and golf dates etc so literally the whiplash of them deciding that Lando liking Oscar somehow affects Carlos and Lando interacting ?? to now them desperately trying to make me think that Lando is a liar mouth about liking Oscar and he and Carlos are closer than they'll ever be with anyone else ever and ever !!

I was totally fine w how sometimes Carlos and Lando hang out and that's the latest post cycle and then Lando and Oscar do something cute and that's the latest post cycle and then it's Lando and Max F or Oscar and Logan or etc etc etc etc bc I love seeing these friendships and inventing rpf for fun! but apparently I'm being a delusional meanie bc

I won't accept that "everyone (so far only meaning carland0 fans) knows it's an open secret" that Carlos is secretly gay and all his girlfriends are a cover and how he's always treated acting 'gay' with laughter and as a joke and now carefully cleaned up history of homophobia is all a blind!

even though no one ever said any of this before Lando was his teammate and back when he already had a solid career and two identical bromances with Max and Nico.

oh and even though Carlos is FAR more sexually suggestive and tactile w Charles isn't the same thing bc that's just them being brotherly it's not at all like how Carlos touching Lando casually is clearly romantic and sexual - and when Lando compulsively talks about Oscar in unprompted explicitly sexual terms in a way he never actually has with a teammate it's all for PR and not sexual bc god knows Lando has an incredible poker face and never gets caught out being too honest and lacking a filter !!

I just. life is so much easier when you accept the reality that guys who say they're friends are friends and that it should be suspiciously convenient to isolate one case out of identical others and decide that it's "legit gay" when it happens to be the guys you personally want to be together.

and that Lando is just Lando and he loves attention from men and women. he doesn't mind if it's them babying him or being his bro or being confused or being openly horny. and yes, based on his own words he does probably want to rut against Oscar a lil bit and maybe mess w Oscar's placid nature somewhat for fun BUT it doesn't affect them being friends and being teammates. it’s not deep! Lando's used to being a bit randomly horny and having to get on with life anyway. it sure as shit doesn't mean we need to create conspiracy theories or pretend Lily and Oscar are in an open relationship llashfjlashfl

[cressidagrey]

Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours- Chapter 4: Feyre, High Lady of The Night Court (and Nesta, Lady Death…and Bryaxis)

Summary:

5 Times Cassian thought that Azriel had feelings for somebody and then 1 time he finally met the girl his brother was in love with.

Warnings:

Rhys Bashing

Notes:

I put a lot of world building into this. If you don't recognise it from canon, I probably invented. Or I forgot that canon existed.

(thanks to @firefly-graphics for the super pretty dividers!)

He did not figure it out in the weeks that followed. 

He had theories of course. 

For lack of a better idea he was back at Azriel pining for some female he couldn’t have for some reason or another.

Which didn’t make it any easier to narrow down the options. 

It wasn’t like Azriel had ever lacked companionship. If females weren’t outright terrified of him then the chances are they fawned over him. 

But then there was also the fact that…well. Azriel had never seemed to outright have the appetite for female companionship that Cassian and Rhys had over the centuries. His brother had always held himself aloft, removed from it. 

Cassian had never investigated that more thoroughly but now it was there, scratching at the edge of his brain, puzzle pieces without a second one that matched. 

All of it didn’t make sense. He was missing something. And he was sure that it was obvious…

If Azriel was pining over some unavailable female and it wasn’t Mor, then who was it? 

And then Azriel threw a spanner in his theories. 

“Anything else I need to be aware of?”  Rhys asked at their weekly meeting at the River House. Azriel had told him all about Governors that had been making under-the-table deals while Cassian had once again complained about Devlon. 

Some things never changed. 

Cassian shook his head. 

“I need a break.”

The words came so out of left field that Cassian’s jaw dropped. 

But Azriel sat there, staring them both down, jaw set. 

What? 

In all the years that Cassian had known Az…these words had never once left his mouth. 

But there they were. Azriel admitted that he needed a break and dared them to disagree with him. 

What.

 What was happening ? 

“A break?” Rhys repeated, trying his best not to make the surprise show on his face and failing horribly. 

“Yes. Cassian and Nesta took a week in the Illyrian steppes a few months ago. I want a break,” Azriel said, crossing his arms defensively. 

He had taken that break. He had been quite happy about that break as well, but then Cassian had throughout his long life taken more than one break of his own free will. 

The last time the Spymaster of the Night Court had taken a break longer than a few minutes or to sleep…well that was when he had taken a near-fatal injury. And even then, Azriel had been chomping at the bit, unwilling to stay away as long as Madja had wanted him to. 

So for him to just come to them and ask, or demand, a break…that was so unlikely that it scared the shit out of Cassian, to be honest. 

What was going on? 

“You want a break,” Cassian repeated. “Did something happen?” he wondered, looking at Azriel. 

He seemed fine. Granted that didn’t need to mean anything. 

After whatever had gone down between him and Elain, Azriel had a dark circle underneath his eyes for months, and looked like he hadn’t slept a wink during the night. His skin had taken on a near pale shade, or maybe that had just been the shadows that had clung so tightly to the shadowsinger that they had seeingly leeched all his colour and life out of him. 

Even then…even then, Azriel hadn’t wanted a break. 

But now he did. 

Now Azriel wanted a break. 

Azriel met his gaze, his hazel eyes flat. 

“No. I just need a break.”

Do you know what this is about? Cassian mentally asked Rhys who just shook his head, very carefully. 

“I have known you for 500 years and not once have you told us that you need a break ,” Cassian pointed out, trying to be reasonable. Fishing for an explanation, that Azriel didn’t seem willing to give him. 

What had brought this one? What had made Azriel finally admit that he needed a break?

It shouldn’t worry him. It was a healthy development for Azriel to finally figure out some kind of boundaries but…still it did. 

It came out of nowhere. 

“Well, I do !” The way Azriel bit out these words was shocking. Not just to him but also to Rhys. 

I think he really needs that break, Cassian thought quietly. 

“I need a break,” Azriel forced his voice to be quiet, but he was glaring Rhys into submission. 

Agreed. Something is going on. Has he said anything about Esmeray? 

Not to me, Rhys. Could it be Azriel’s mother? There weren’t many things that could make Azriel go quite as feral, but his mother definitely fell into that purview. 

Still…

“So you need a break, Az,” Rhys said, keeping his voice light. “When are you thinking of taking said break?”

“Next week.” The answer came so quickly that Azriel must have thought about it beforehand. 

Is there anything happening next week? Rhys wondered. 

Was there some kind of event or something Azriel could desperately want to attend? Maybe in another court?

Cassian drew a blank. So did Rhys. 

“As long as no new war breaks out, you can have next week. For your break ,” Rhys agreed.  “Do you want the cabin?”

Think he’ll say yes, if it’s about his mom? Cassian wondered. 

“No, thank you,” Azriel turned down Rhys. 

Damnit. That didn’t answer any questions. 

And then before they could properly interrogate their brother, he heard Feyre approach. 

The High Lady of the Night Court settled herself on her mate’s lap that greeted her with a smile. For a moment Cassian missed Nesta. 

“Am I interrupting anything?” Feyre wanted to know. 

Azriel shifted, catching Cassian’s attention. He was watching Rhys and Feyre with a nearly unreadable expression…

But suddenly…suddenly Cassian recognised it. Recognised it as the same expression that he had worn so very often when he had watched Mor for centuries. 

Longing. A secretly held desire. 

It was there, written on his face. Clear as day. 

“Just Az telling us how he needs a break,” Rhys said at that moment. “I think he’s getting soft.”

“A break? You deserve that! Maybe go somewhere warm!” Feyre suggested immediately. 

Azriel’s face morphed at Feyre’s word, softening nearly imperceptively. 

Was it about Feyre or about her suggestion? Cassian didn’t know. Still, it was…curious. 

“I already know where’ll be,” Azriel said quickly. “Feyre, I was wondering…where did you get your table linens from?” 

The conversation topic change was so harsh that Cassian just stared at him. 

What? 

“The table linens?” Feyre asked, sounding as confused as Cassian felt.

“Yes. Table Linens. I need some,” Azriel repeated, sounding certain. 

“You need table linens ?” Cassian asked, making sure that he had gotten that right. Table linens. What was it with Az and his sudden obsession with table linens? It made no sense. 

“There’s this small shop at the rainbow called Clare’s. They have loads of different ones. Unless you mean the ones for huge celebrations then it’s in the Palace of Threads and Jewels,” Feyre answered the question, sounding thoughtful 

“Thank you,” Azriel said primly. 

“Planning on throwing some dinner parties?” Rhys asked

Azriel ignored that. 

“I need to go. I have some table linens to buy.”

And off he went. 

Cassian just stared at him go. 

The feeling that something was wrong burrowing in his gut, the expression of longing still engraved in his mind. 

“Why does he want table linens?” Feyre wondered, sounding perplexed. 

“Something is wrong,” Cassian blurted out. 

Something was really wrong. He didn’t like it on bit. 

“What makes you think that?” Feyre asked him curiously. “Maybe Azriel really just…wants to buy some table linens.”

“He wants to buy bloody table linens!” Cassian snapped. “Rhys! This isn’t normal!” he pointed out to his brother, begging him to understand. Rhys looked thoughtful. 

“He did buy a house,” Rhys pointed out, too damn reasonable. Yes, Azriel had done that but…table linens. Truly? 

“He bought a house?” Feyre asked, curious. “When did he do that? I didn’t know that.” 

“A few months before Elain and Lucien got married,” Cassian answered, with a wave. “It’s near the mountains. It has a lake. It’s nice.”

It was. quite frankly it was nothing like what Cassian had expected Azriel to go for, but his brother had seemed…quite taken with his purchase. 

At least as taken as he had ever seemed with anybody. It was secluded enough that it probably sated some deep-seated desire for privacy from Azriel and with it warded tightly, it would be as good a home for him as any other. 

Though Cassian knew that Azriel had only bought it because he had wanted to get away from Cassian and Nesta and their enthusiastic lovemaking. 

Which again, played into Azriel absolutely hating to be surrounded by happily mated pairs and being alone himself. 

“He took you there?” Rhys asked, surprise apparent in his voice. 

Az hadn’t taken Rhys? 

Well, Azriel had only taken him because he had insisted. “He showed it to me. Or more like I insisted that he showed it to me, because I didn’t want to imagine what Azriel thought were proper living conditions,” Cassian explained with a sigh. Azriel…well, Azriel didn’t expect much from lodgings. Even his house in the townhouse had been bare bones for as long as Cassian could remember. “It had zero furniture but he promised he was going to get some before he moved in,” he said with a shrug. 

Still, he couldn’t imagine Azriel going to a furniture shop, lamenting between fabric swatches and coming out, having purchased a couch. 

“Maybe he just finished furnishing it and now needs table linens,” Feyre offered. “That would make sense,” she points out reasonably. 

Right. Maybe. 

“Azriel is a lot of things, domestic is not one of these,” Rhys agreed with a sigh. “I was already surprised that he bought the house…”

So was Cassian. But then…maybe in some way, it had made sense. Remove himself from more and more things that were…hurting him. Finding himself someplace where it was just Azriel, where he could just be without worrying what anybody else thought. Mope around as much as he wanted, regardless if Rhys thought that he should just get over himself. 

He can’t spend the rest of his life chasing after uninterested females, Rhys said pointedly, having caught some stray thought of his. 

You know very well that Azriel has never done any chasing. He respectfully pines ,” Cassian disagreed. It wasn’t like Azriel was…annoying with his pining. He was quiet and stayed away. And you know that it’s not that easy. You can’t just shut off your feelings when they don’t suit you anymore. 

Mother knew, they both had tried. 

It’s not healthy for him, Rhys said sharply. 

And Cassian had enough. Oh come on, Rhysand, we both know that neither of us should be allowed to pass that judgment, Cassian snapped. 

You both should know that it’s terribly impolite to have a whole conversation that I am not privy to while I am in the room, came Feyre’s amused mental voice. 

“Leave him alone, Rhys. Whatever he does, it has nothing to do with you,” Cassian drawled aloud. 

“Doesn’t it?” Rhys gave back with a sigh. “He’s the Spymaster of this court, he’s…”

“He’s your brother and his private life is absolutely none of your fucking business,” Cassian said tightly. “Unless he’s pining for Feyre…oh.”

Oh. 

That…yeah. 

That would explain the look on Azriel’s face. Why he didn’t came to family dinners as often as he used to anymore. Why he seemed withdrawn and the tension between him and Rhys and…

“No, we are not doing that, Cassian,” Feyre cut him off, sharply. “You literally thought he was in a secret relationship with Eris Vanserra . And now you think Azriel is quietly pining away over me? This is ridiculous,” she spat out. 

“You didn’t see the way he looked at you,” Cassian protested. 

Rhys seemed withdrawn like he wasn’t quite sure what to think about this. 

Feyre just snorted, something akin to amusement on her face. 

“Did it pass your mind for just one moment that that has nothing to do with me personally?” Feyre said sharply. “That maybe whatever way he looked at was him wanting what his brothers had?”

“What do you mean, darling?” Rhys asked, curiosity peaked. What was this about? 

“I think that Azriel wants what his brothers have,” Feyre pointed out quietly. “Don’t you think that he ever wonders why?”

Why? Why what? 

“You are three brothers. Two of them are mated. He isn’t,” Feyre pointed out quietly. “Don’t you think he ever wonders about why he isn’t? Why he doesn’t deserve a bond? Why you two got them but he didn’t?”

It wasn’t anything that Cassian hadn’t also thought about in passing. About how it was fair that Cassian and Rhys had met their mates and Azriel hadn’t. How out of three brothers, two had been mated to two out of three sisters, but the third to another? 

All of it had been there in his brain at one point or another. 

But for Azriel, Azriel that doubted his worth every fucking day in that silent way of his, that tried to prove himself again and again…it must have been just another injustice in a very long, long line of them.

“He does,” Feyre continued. “And I also think that regardless of how happy he is for you, and he is, you know that…there is a part of him that envies both of you,” she said pointedly. “So leave it alone, Cassian. He wants to have a secret relationship? Let him have it. As long as he is happy, I don’t care. Neither should either of you. He deserves whatever happiness he can carve out for himself.”

It was pointed, sharp and cutting. And she was right. Feyre was completely right. 

He couldn’t on one hand tell Rhys that he had no right to judge Azriel’s private life and then himself try and force his brother to admit something he wasn’t ready to. 

“Besides, who’s next on your list of options, Cass? Nesta?  Do you think he is secretly pining for your mate as well?” Feyre continued with a snort. “Quite frankly, she’s a better guess than me. He did buy her these hairpins. That’s more personal than a couple of paints.” 

“He bought Nesta hairpins?” Rhys asked, sounding perplexed. 

“With stiletto blades hidden in them. She loves them,” Cassian admitted with a shrug.

“She does,” Feyre agreed.  “Azriel is one of the few people that Nesta is actually nice to, too. Maybe they are having a torrid love affair and you know nothing about it!” she told him wide-eyed and Cassian glared at her. 

“Not funny,” he told Feyre, who just grinned at him. 

“Maybe Bryaxis is involved too!” she suggested with a gasp. 

He held back a shudder at that. 

“Now you are just being cruel, High Lady,” he told her and she shrugged. 

“From all the options presented today, I think Bryaxis is the most likely,” she said drily. “Just leave him alone. He’ll come to you when he is ready.”

Right.

“I am gonna go spy on Azriel, buying table linens,” Cassian said as he stood up, making Rhys snort and Feyre roll her eyes. 

To his neverending surprise, he actually found Azriel at the first store Feyre had mentioned. 

Azriel came out, laden with a couple of bags and Cassian couldn’t help but stare at him. This was…

Azriel spotted him immediately, looking less than pleased to see him. 

“Did Rhys put you up to it?” he demanded and Cassian blinked. 

What?

“What, no! Why should he do that?” Cassian asked. Why…why would Rhys…

“You tell me,”  Azriel sniped back.“If it’s not Rhys, then what are you doing here? I doubt you wanted to watch me shop for table linens.”

Yeah, he didn’t. But then he didn’t actually think he was gonna find Azriel actually buying table linens.

“You actually bought table linens?” he asked and Azriel rolled his eyes at him. 

“Yes, of course, I bought some. Why do you think I asked Feyre to tell me where to go?” Azriel sighed. “Cassian, do you actually care about that or did you think that me going to find table linens meant that I was going off to find the secret lover you are currently convinced I have for some cauldron-forsaken reasons?”

Right. 

This wasn’t about that secret lover that may or not exist. This was way more important. This was about Azriel. 

“For cauldron’s sake Azriel, I am worried about you!” Cassian snapped. This was about his brother . Azriel just stared at him. 

“Why?” Azriel asked, sounding like he couldn’t for the life of him understand why Cassian cared. 

“Why?” Cassian repeated sharply. “You don’t talk to me, or anybody, you don’t say anything, you disappear from family dinners and now you suddenly want a break! What’s going on?” Cassian demanded. 

Azriel was silent, deep in thought. 

“What’s going on, Az? Come on, you know you can talk to me,” Cassian said softly. 

What was really going on? Was this about Azriel’s mother?

“I know,” Azriel said, his voice quiet.” But right now, I was really just buying table linens,” he insisted. 

Cassian would have liked to shake some sense into him but he didn’t. 

“I am not letting this go,” he said, resolvement growing. Something was going on and he was going to figure it out. He would be there for his brother, damnit. 

A tiny smile appeared on Azriel’s face. 

“I wouldn’t expect anything else,” Azriel promised. 

“So what kind of table linens did you buy?” Cassian asked him, curious. What kind of table linens did Azriel think were appropriate for his house? 

Azriel just sighed. 

Cassian did not actually get an answer out of him. He did get the promise of a sparring match the next morning and then Azriel had a lunch he had to get to with a friend .  

For a moment Cassian played with the thought of following along and making a pest out of himself. 

But he didn’t. Maybe he was having lunch with some High Fae Female he met in Velaris and was stupidly in love with. Somebody that loved Azriel and appreciated him as much as he should be. 

Maybe that was it.

Cassian wished that for his brother. 

[void-botanist]

I would love to know about the elbas sitcom AU (<- big sitcom enjoyer)

Tbh it wouldn't be that different from their actual lives, lol, just played up for comedy. Also this was such a fun response to write that I did not stop myself and I just kept inventing stuff.

A lot of these characters are discussed in this powerpoint post.

Some recurring bits:

No one can remember Casper's name even when he's standing in front of them, except Nidilaenn (his kid) and Vinnek. They all call him Pa (which they do IRL) or some random name ("he has a John face"). Regardless of whether he's there or not everyone is always talking about his whirlwind romance that took him out to the Vale and left them with one less prankster. You know he always returns for the solstice episode.

People go "where's Nidilaenn" and then we immediately cut to Nid in their boat. The funny part is where the boat is this time.

"El this might be easier if you don't get so frustrated" [Ellery turns back toward the camera with the nastiest look on his face] "I'm not frustrated"

There's always a new random nonroot staying at the Yellow House to witness the shenanigans and mostly laugh them off as "wow this island is weird haha"

The nonroot is also always shocked when they find out that they were not wrong, Madge is in fact twice her husband Rigo's age, and those ages are 120 and ~60.

Madge and Rigo are only on the island half the time. The other half they're traveling the mainland and getting called back to Elbas for increasingly ridiculous reasons. While they're away someone else has to care for the lighthouse (which is why IRL they don't actually travel that much).

Herric is always meddling in something. Frequently it has a butterfly effect, where they do something tiny like borrow Milo's butter and by the middle of the episode the island is in shambles.

Herric and Urielte are the "they should just be together" couple of the series, and to be honest they don't disagree (like if they just said "nah we're friends" people would drop it but they've never said that). However they do keep coming up with increasingly silly excuses for why they won't (the real reason is Herric doesn't want to have another breakup and Urielte just doesn't give a shit about formalities).

When someone needs information, Vinnek always has a book on that. Unless it's about legal histories or contract law, in which case Milo has a book on that.

Ysa sets the mood perfectly as a bartender but never serves alcohol. Thon keeps coming up with increasingly complex names for thons juice cocktails.

While working at the docks or the lighthouse Rigo has seen sea monsters of all kinds and just shrugs it off and goes back to his book.

Madge has a bike. The island is small. She tends to ride down the lighthouse hill into town but sometimes she rides into the sea instead (Rigo: [looks up] Madge: [rides right off the end of the dock] Rigo: [goes back to his book, then does a double take]).

This would make more sense in an anime but I thought it so I'm going to say it: sometimes Nid and El grab hands and go "because the power of friendship" with the dramatic eye shine and everything.

There are as many explanations as to why Rae is missing a leg as there are islanders. Even she doesn't give the same answer every time, but she always mentions the ankle bracelet she lost.

Some episode concepts:

Some nonroot comes to stay at the Yellow House and Tirias starts spending all her time with them. Ysa and Amadjes are like "you should branch out" and Tirias is like "noooo" and all bashful about it, because the reason she's hanging around them is because they understand her obsession with an extremely niche media property that no one else gets.

A nonroot can't tell the difference between Amadjes and their cousins Amelie, Aloysius, and Asteras and convinces them all to make increasingly strange fashion choices. For some reason their dad Emil was off-island when this happens and upon his return he can't tell them apart because of the fashion.

Milo's parents Marietta and Tem come to visit and it's a series of humorously awkward interactions between Milo & Herric and Marietta & Tem, to the point that Herric will say something like "what the fuck" to Marietta (their kid) and then immediately turn to Tem and say "I find this somewhat confusing". When Milo mentions Tem to the Council they all offer their own advice: Ellery talks about not getting frustrated, Nid wants to formulate a strategy based on who swept who off their feet, Patience suggests getting kombucha-drunk with them, Tirias says to look for their passion. Somehow all of these become relevant over the course of their relationship-building.

Someone discovers that "the reason" Herric and Urielte won't officially get together is because they don't want to move into each other's houses. So they orchestrate moving one to the other, then vice versa, then into a separate third house, and it all goes really badly and they have to be moved back.

After the previous episode, Herric's ex-wife and estranged son return to demand something from them, probably money- and/or goods-related. Herric ends up moving in and/or getting the equivalent of a Vegas marriage with Urielte to fend her off. Everyone is disappointed when they ultimately undo it all.

Binna's launch is approaching and Milo is just trying to enjoy spending time with her but everywhere he goes are just silly reminders that she's leaving ("that weirdly suggestive calendar has a rocket in it!").

Patience's teenage grandkids come to visit and everyone is super impressed by them because uep twins are rare. They use this to their advantage. Everyone also wonders whether Patience knows what's going on, because of course they pull the most nonsense when she's not around, but she knows exactly and she thinks it's incredibly funny to play the doddering old lady.

Rae gets into a dispute with the owner of the Evly radio station she runs a weekly music show on. Madge (her sister) and Tirias (who regularly plays on the show and also has technical knowledge) decide to team up and start an Elbas radio station. This turns out to be a lot harder than they expect. It would be fun if they managed it though because then we could have a radio station set.

The port authority of Port Danziger, which is several hundred miles away on the mainland, approaches the Council and suggests they pay for docking rights even though that doesn't make any logistical sense. Nidilaenn sets out to discover whether it really is that far to sail (answer: yes) and encounters a variety of nonsense situations on the way.

A new arrival asks about Rae's leg. She says it was a sea monster. We then discover that the sea monsters only Rigo seems to notice are in fact real, but don't really hang around the island because there's not much meat there. The new arrival does not succeed in locating Rae's fabled ankle bracelet.

Following the previous episode, a human sneaks meat onto the island, which causes a massive uptick in sea monster activity. Something something an entire suitcase getting dramatically thrown into the ocean. NO MEAT ALLOWED goes unexplained into the visitor rules and the mainland press has a field day with it.

Casper returns for the solstice episode without his wife (the one who swept him off his feet and caused him to move away). He says it's because he wanted to spend time with Nid, but Nid becomes increasingly suspicious that something is off. They get sent on a wild goose chase wondering if Casper ever even got married only to discover that their stepmom was late because she was bringing a surprise for them.

Vinnek gets haunted by the ghost of Fira past, and while the moral of the episode is that they have to remember the good times they had with Fira and stop getting on the network to listlessly search for Fira, there's a lot of snarky humor on the way. Depending on when this takes place, there will also be the ghost of Casper past (not intentionally a reference lol the importance is that Casper was and is a good friend of Vinnek's who also left the island) and potentially the ghost of Dez past (another friend who left).

A paranormal investigator shows up and insists the lighthouse is haunted. Everyone says no, the lighthouse is not haunted. Eventually the investigator turns out to be right, though the spirits haunting the lighthouse are just chilling and that's why no one thought it was haunted.

Rae, Tirias, and Ysa team up to turn the pub into a club for Jes's birthday, with the heavy bass he so loves (he's deaf). Unfortunately they instead succeed at blowing out Ysa's custom skylight and invoking the ire of Ellery, one of the few people on the island who has ever been to a club. In the course of putting in a new skylight they hatch a better plan: a sort of silent disco-esque setup where they will not shatter the skylight a second time.

For some reason Haskell has to leave the island for a bit and asks Nid and El, who have been considering having kids for a while, if they would watch Lacey. I feel like everything that happens after that is just par for the course for having a 4 year old around but still it seems like even Nid will have changed their mind about kids. When Haskell gets back and is like "haha hope that didn't put you off of sprouting" the two of them are like "nah. we'll survive it with the power of friendship" with the whole solidarity clasp and everything. Then the shine fades and they say, "in five more years maybe".

Tirias becomes obsessed with a wedding shoot he found on the network and starts bothering Ysa and Jes about it. They misunderstand and think what he wants is to get married when in actuality he just wants to have an event for wearing a princess dress. By the time they get on the same page Ysa and Tirias are practically standing at the altar (I don't actually know how Elbas weddings work but you get the idea). But in the end Tirias gets what he wants and they don't actually get married...probably.

I think there should be a season devoted to Dez being there too, with episodes such as:

The rootspace episode, where Dez figures out how to decode the chemical messages of rootspace and becomes obsessed with sharing rootspace with people ("for the love of god Dez PLEASE use your words I'm tired").

The radio show episode, where Dez becomes the synth.

The toilet humor episode, where Dez discovers that one of Elbas's imports is literal shit, which goes into the dirt beds they root into at night. Have I mentioned Dez doesn't really get toilet humor? Uep and neriem, however, do on some level, even though that's not how their digestive systems work.

The laugh scale episode, where Dez notices that making serious Milo laugh is a particular point of pride among the Council. The Council in turn notices that Dez has never once laughed and try to figure out what would make him do so. 50/50 chance they either realize he can't/doesn't laugh OR some random apparently nonhumorous thing happens at the end of the episode and Dez snickers, which is enough of a laugh to celebrate.

The prank episode, where Dez takes the role of the answering machine that has a bunch of snippets of someone's voice to remix except he has extensive recordings of most islanders, which makes it extra fun. He starts pranking people with Nid but as people discover the prank they join in, and after a few days everyone on the island is in on the prank and there's no one left to bother. But then Casper shows up.

[winxwiki]

You thoughts on Miraculous Ladybug? The author of ML did had some comments on Winx as well, not saying bashing it (which ngl he did in some way)...which imo you can't really compare cartoon that was 20+ years old to 8 year old cartoon.

Thomas Astruc should go eat shit, Miraculous is worse than winx simply for taking 8 years to conclude its "FIRST ARC". Iginio Straffi for all his mistakes eats him up. Winx Club had 3 arcs with Bloom's Main Story in the span of 3 years, 3 season and 2 movies (you gotta count magical adventure even if Believix is there). Miraculous did that love square bullshit. Come on.

I tried watching Miraculous and I found it terrible. It's not it being a kid show the problem like some people keep repeating (shut up, kids show can and should be good, I am shutting you in a room forcing you to watch Doremi), it's just badly written and with terrible animation. The characters are unlikable, the jokes were... cringy and the story was just not engaging. The only reason why it gets going is because it has an insane kids fanbase hyping it up and insane adults who are into it for Very Different reasons. Oh and it has a good opening. You need a marketable opening to succeed for sure

Miraculous feels like it's written by an AI to have as much shipping drama and Worst Shoujo Tropes picked by a petty man who doesn't want to make anything meaningful out of them because he's a manchild. Kunihiko Ikuhara hated Tuxedo Kamen and the way female characters were handled in Sailor Moon and if he watched Miraculous he would pull his hair out. Iginio Straffi thinks he's hot shit for inventing magical girls in the west in all his interviews (lol) but I don't see him having beef with randos on social media and I respect him for that.

Having grown up on plenty, pleeeenty of magical girl anime that is episodic with its monster/problem of the day episode (not saying week, anime airs daily in Italy), the way Miraculous does its fillers and builds up the story is laughable. If they had left the anime to Toei instead of cheapening out to 3D it would have been great I am sure.

But as it is, it's bad. And I hate its creator. History isn't being kind already since I see clips and memes mocking Miraculous constantly. While Winx has gone for the worse after s4 onwards, I see people still remembering fondly s1-4 and genuinely appreciating it. No mockery of the sort.

I don't see that for Miraculous.

If you're in need of anything better than Miraculous, look up the Italian wikipedia page for Magical Girl anime that has aired in Italy and has positively influenced W.i.t.c.h., Winx Club and others (it's a LOT)

[edogawa-division]

ARB Birthday Special 2023: Kaoru Shinozaki

~~ September 15th ~~

“There is no great genius without a mixture of madness.”

Login Lines:

“Zzzzzzz…. Gah! I'm up! I'm awake! Oh shit, you scared me! Don't do that! I can feel my heart pounding! Huh? Is this a present?” 

“Why are you even giving this to me? It’s not like my birthday is anytime soon. Wait, what do you mean today is my birthday? Athena dammit! I forgot again!” 

Voice Lines:

“I can't believe I forgot about my birthday for the second year in a row. I mean, I did spend the last few days working on an invention. Oh well, I might as well see what chaos I can get up to today.” 

“Alright! “Operation: Birthday Bash” is a go! Mwahahaha! Major intelligence agencies all across the world are currently waking up to a malware virus that I just sent to their servers!*giggles* It's nothing too bad. All it's going to do is forcibly take control of their speaker systems and play “Never Gonna Give You Up” on repeat all day. Take that you fuckers!”

“Hi Mama, Papa, Nii-san. It's me. I’m doing alright, just turned 23, but I'm sure you all knew that.*sighs* Lately, I've been thinking about what my life would be like if the accident never happened. I think…I would've been miserable, and isn't that a horrible thought? I never said this, but for all that you loved me, none of you ever bothered to understand me. How could you? I was too different. What? You don't think I heard you talking at night? That you thought I walked the line between genius and insanity. That you thought I would grow up to be a villain? That some days you were even afraid of me? Ha! A part of me resents you for that even now.” 

“You know A.D.A is usually the first one to wish me happy birthday, but I haven't heard from her all day, which is pretty strange. I think she’s planning something because she asked me a while back if I had any plans for my birthday all while looking like the cat who ate the canary. Ehhhh…I should probably prepare for the worst. A.D.A can get pretty vindictive when the mood hits her.” 

“Yurikoooo! What did you get me? Noooo! Betrayed by my own mother! Next thing you know I’ll be left out on the cold streets to fend for myself. Oh, the horror! *wheezes* Okay, okay, I’m done! Oh, come on, Yuriko! It's my birthday. Let me live a little! Anyway, did you not really get me anything? Hahaha! I knew you’d never let me down! So, whatcha get me?” 

“A string of numbers? Wait, are these what I think they are? Fuck…Yuriko that place is literally one of the best guarded networks in the world. I could spend years attempting to hack it as Delphi, and even then, I would only be able to make a dent in their firewall. Literally, the only ones allowed to have access to that place are the top and, I mean, top dogs of the underworld. So why? Why give this to me? Why give me access to… somewhere where I make the worst of my genius blossom to life with no consequences? A storm, huh? You can count on me, Yuriko. I promise.” 

“No wait Kanra! *crunch* K-K-Kanra it seems like your birthday hugs get stronger every year huh? My ribs certainly can tell. Oh, what are we waiting for then? You know I love your cakes Kanra! Hahaha! Okay, then what did you get me?” 

“Pfffffftt! Kanra that thing is nearly as tall as you are! Hahaha! No, but seriously Kanra thank you. I've always wanted one of these. How did you even get one anyway? This thing is kinda of expensive. *wheeze* Kanra please! You can't treat a fight like it's a Pokémon battle. Hahaha! Never change Kanra.” 

“A.D.A! There you are! You're even in your android body, too! So I can only assume you have something special planned for me today. A.D.A…your grin is kind of scaring me. The last time you grinned like that, you didn't let me have coffee for 2 weeks. Oh gods, you are banning me from coffee again! A.D.A, please! I need coffee to survive! A.D.A…you’re still not filling me with confidence, but alright, what did you get me?”

“Uhhh…A.D.A? This is just a piece of paper with a time and a set of directions on it. Of course a…A.D.A WHAT DO YOU MEAN DATE??? Y-y-you…dinner…him…error…error…asdkhgkjiwenfkdklyyxgsitzfzjfzkfoxyoaryhdftwehadghffnjkelfhewnejwnjb…*faints*”

Yuriko Lines:

“Happy Birthday, Kaoru. *raises eyebrow* Does it look like I'm carrying a gift for you? *sighs* Are you done with your little charade Kaoru? Birthday or not, please do not wail like you’re the ghost of a Victorian child. Really?  Do you truly believe I would get you anything? What kind of mother would I be if I didn't get my own daughter anything? Now I'm sure you’ll find this quite interesting.” 

“Not just any set of numbers, Kaoru. I had to pull quite a few strings for these numbers. As you know, there's the black market which even a regular citizen can get access to if they look hard enough and then there's █ █ █ █ █ █ █. A global network of various dealers and brokers, hidden behind a series of codes and unknown numbers. Where only the truly dangerous lie, both people and items. It’s so well hidden that not even the various governments are aware of its existence, or if they do, all they know is rumors. Kaoru, I won't lie. A storm is brewing and heading our way. I’m not sure when or how, but I’ll be damned if I don't do everything in my power to make sure the three of us survive. If that means giving you access to someplace where you can be the worst version of yourself, then so be it. I know Kaoru, I know.”

Kanra Lines:

“Happy Birthday Kaoru! *hugs* Eh? Sorry! Guess I got a little too excited. Ah! Nevermind that! Come on Kaoru! I have your birthday cake in the kitchen! First I have to give you your present! I hope you like it!”

“Ta-da! Your very own giant Mareep doll! It is not! I can see over it! Hm? Oh right. So every time I beat someone unconscious I rummage through their wallets and steal all the cash they have on them. Why not? Winner’s rights! If people wanna pick a fight with me they better be prepared to fork over some cash when they lose!”

Bonus! A.D.A Lines:

“Kaoru my dear! Happy Birthday! Oh, I have just a little something special for you today. *grins widely*  Hm? Hahaha! Don’t be so scared, Kaoru, it's nothing like that. I will admit that it was a bit hard to work on the plan without you noticing, but I succeeded. Now, here I have something for you!”

“Why is it the time and location for your dinner reservation for your date with that pretty goth boy! Of course! He seemed surprised when I asked him. He was under the impression that you would be spending your birthday with Yuriko and Kanra, but I waved off his concern and told him you would love it if he took you out for dinner! Oh dear, her mind is erroring. Are you alright, Kaoru? Kaoru? AHH! SHE FAINTED!”