#and everyone was WATCHING and im embarrassed...

[feelfreetopleasemexo]

Couldnt imagine a better feeling.

Megumi, yuji and reader where Yuji asks stupid questions about sex and Megumi let’s on that he’s extremely knowledgeable.

“Y/n, you’re a girl….”

You flicked your eyes up from over your phone at Yuji who was leant over the back of the sofa staring at you,uncomfortable and nervous.

“Last I checked.”

“Of course….right, so… i have a question.”

You rolled your eyes as you locked your phone, letting a deep sigh exhale past your lips.

“No I won’t show you my boobs, and no we can’t just hold our periods in like we need to pee.”

His face tilted slightly like a confused dog at your response, brows furrowed slightly and eyes searching for an explanation.

N,no I….why won’t you show me them? We’re friends…..anyway, it’s kinda embarrassing but…can you really feel it like, up here?”

He pointed to the bottom of his rib cage, implying that a dick could reach that far up inside of someone, almost reaching where his diaphragm was. You looked at his hand in astonishment, did he really not know about all the other organs in the way….

You opened your mouth to answer, only for Megumi to interrupt.

“Dont be a fucking idiot, of course it wouldnt reach that far. Do you not understand basic anatomy or what?”

Both of you turned to face Megumi who was sat on the other side of the room reading a book quietly to himself. His eyes only flicked to Yujis hand then back to the pages as he answered, apparently unfazed by the topic at hand. Yuji sprung himself upright and continued to defend his assumption.

“But, I was watching….something, earlier and she said she could feel it in her ribs…”

“Pressure. A vagina isnt that deep or elongated to surpass the other organs inside, plus I doubt the guy was actually THAT big so it was probably just the pressure and the position.”

“But…”

“Trust me. I know everyone that has a vagina is different, but unless he ripped through her cervix and womb and was just fucking into her body cavity, I promise you he wasn’t fucking into her ribs.”

You couldnt help the smirk on your face as Megumi gloated about his knowledge of the female body, although every single one of you were virgins.

“Mr sex god over here.” Your voice was low and teasing, but still Megumi’s eyes stayed laced onto the book infront of him.

“Fuck off, im just not an idiot. I would say it’s common knowledge but…” he gestured towards Yuji and waved his hand in his general direction.

“Okay, ouch. Fine then, if you know everything about women’s inner workings, how can pornstars fit more than one dick inside them at one time then?”

“Because vaginas can stretch….you know women give birth right? Like, a baby can come out of there, so it’s not completely unusual that some can fit multiple things inside i guess….what kinda stuff do you watch man?”

“Fine. What about….can they pee if they have a tampon in? Or do they have to pull it out then pee then put it back in?”

Megumi closed his book, ran his hand down his face and exhaled deeply, turning to face you and Yuji as he slowly flicked his eyes open and crossed one leg over the other.

“Right. So a tampon goes into the opening, not where they pee from. They have a urethra like we do, it’s at the top of the opening, it’s not inside. So yes, they can pee with a tampon in….shouldnt you be answering these stupid questions y/n?”

“It’s significantly funnier to watch you explain things megs…. What about not getting pregnant if you have sex on your period?”

His face flushed, how this stupid conversation turned into a test on his knowledge of the female body and procreation he’ll never know…

“It’s a misconception. Woman arent more fertile during their period, so it’s not any less likely than before or after ovulation, which usually occurs around 14 days after a period. But again, theres many different factors that need to be taken into account for complete accuracy.”

“Impressive. Hard to believe you’re a virgin, bet you’ll be a pro when you finally get the chance to put all your knowledge to the test man!”

Yujis excitement beamed from his face, whilst Megumi remained his usual stoic self.

“Knowledge doesn’t mean anything when you have no field experience.”

“Bet he’ll forget it all once he sees a set of boobs, let alone gets inside someone.”

“Fuck off, you’re a virgin too.”

“And im not claiming to have written the encyclopaedia on how men’s bodies work.”

“I read, okay? Just because I have basic knowledge on female anatomy doesn’t mean im some know-it all. Didnt you learn this stuff in school Yuji?”

“I mean, maybe? I wasn’t really paying much attention….can you really break your dick? Like, during sex?” He shuddered as he asked, the thought alone terrifying him.

“Technically you dont break it, but you can fracture it. If you were to completely come out and thrust back in at the wrong angle and cause blunt trauma then yes, it would bend and “snap”, but it’s very rare.”

Both you and Yuji winced at the idea, you didnt have a penis but even the thought of that made you cross your legs tightly together.

“Im never having sex.” Yuji muttered quickly to himself, covering his crotch and grimacing at the idea.

Megumi rolled his eyes and turned back towards his book, placing one hand over it ready to continue his reading.

“Any other stupid questions or are we done here?”

“One more. Do you really think being inlove with someone makes sex better?”

A beat of silence fell between all of you, as Megumi sighed and looked back towards us.

“Yes.”

Another beat of silence.

“No further explanation? No scientific reasoning behind it?”

“I just….dont you think it would be? Being inlove with someone and getting to be one with them…I can’t imagine a better feeling. Personally.”

“If you don’t have sex with him y/n i will…that was romantic as shit, Megumi!”

“Fuck off. Both of you.”

Your face was flushed, your chest heaving slightly. The idea of sex with Megumi had never once crossed your mind, but now? It’s all you could think about. God damn you Yuji and you’re impossibly stupid questions.

[ta3mint]

soulmate au with minho or felix im on my hands and knees rn

Collision

Contains: non idol Felix x female reader fluff, soulmate au (my very first one ever!!), kind of silly at times but not quite crack level humor, if that makes sense, and Felix is slightly older than (Y/N)

Warnings: none, unless you count cursing! just fluff here my friends <3 maybe a sprinkle of angst if you really squint? :0

Word Count: 2,162

Summary: On your twenty-first birthday, you receive a single hint as to who your soulmate will be: their first words to you written as a quote on the inside of your wrist. Everyone seems to have beautiful, romantic hints, so you were very excited for yours. However, yours is...anything but. How will you ever be able to find your soulmate when all you want to do is cover your embarrassing quote up?

Author's note: I am trying something new with the format of my fics to see if I like it! Should I go back and make all the other ones match? Probably. But that sounds hard. Also, this request has been sitting in my inbox for so long :D I deeply apologize. Fic is below the cut!

In about sixty seconds, it would strike midnight. It would then be your twenty-first birthday...the day that everyone longs for.

And finally, finally...you would get a hint as to who your soulmate would be. Their very first words to you would appear written on the inside of your left wrist in an elegant script. All your friends had started getting theirs, and you were one of the last in your group to reach the age.

So many romantic sentiments, witty comments...you eagerly awaited your own. Would it be even better than your friends' hints? Would you be able to find your soulmate right away?

You sat watching the seconds tick down on your clock, with your phone gripped tightly in one hand.

"Thirty seconds now!"

In a split second decision, you decided to open your phone camera and start recording your left wrist so that you could show your friends first thing tomorrow at your birthday party.

"Here we go", you thought. "The day I have been dreaming of for so long is finally here."

5...4...3...2...1...

A slight tingling sensation ghosted over your delicate skin. Your pulse quickened in excitement and it was all you could do to keep the recording steady.

Several more seconds tick by and you could then see a short sentence begin to form. How many words was it? You couldn't tell just yet...

Eventually the first word materialized, each letter springing into view in the order they were written.

Oh.

"'Oh?'" you thought. "What could possibly come after that? It could be anything!"

The anticipation nearly ended you. After that first word "oh" formed, a comma then appeared. One more piece of the puzzle.

A few more seconds, and you could tell that your quote hint was pretty short. Only two words, to be exact.

You blinked rapidly in a pointless attempt to make time go by faster. Once, twice, three times...and it was there. The second and last word to lead you to your soulmate.

Shit!

...

That was the end of your hint? "Shit?"

You couldn't believe your eyes. You dropped your phone onto the couch beside you, not caring that it was still recording. It didn't matter anymore.

Your hint, the profound, romantic quote that would lead you to the person you spend your life with...was "Oh, shit!"

Tears threatened to fall, hot and out of nowhere. All this time you had spent longing, waiting, believing, now suddenly didn't seem worth it at all.

In a burst of anger, you rubbed at your skin roughly with your fingertips. Whether you were trying to wipe it off completely or make different words appear entirely, you weren't sure.

You had never seen anyone get a quote as meaningless as yours. What kind of person says this to someone they just met? And for what reason?

Now you just wanted your birthday to be over with when it had hardly begun. You'd have to figure out some way to cover this tomorrow, in complete contrast to other people who wear theirs proudly until they find the one for them.

Oh, well. You would figure that out once you got there. For now, you just wanted to sleep and forget it all.

Defeated, you reached for your phone and shut it off. You couldn't even bring yourself to lay down in your bed, and instead fell onto your side on your couch.

All you could hope for now was a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

~

When your alarm went off the following morning, you didn't even think twice about turning it off and closing your eyes again. All the feelings from the night before came flooding back the minute you woke up.

You decided you couldn't even face your friends today. They would all laugh at you- maybe even shun you. You didn't want to celebrate anything, let alone have a party now.

Begrudgingly, you opened your eyes again and started a quick text to the group chat with all your friends throwing the party. You typed one stupid excuse, erased it...tried another one...and another one. Before you finally settled on food poisoning. Super original.

Within a few seconds, you started receiving replies from them, but you didn't want to read them. You'd deal with it later.

Despite trying your hardest to go back to sleep, it just wouldn't work. This only made you more upset.

"Fine," you thought to yourself. "I'll stay awake and find something else to take my mind off everything."

Within a few minutes, you got up and changed into something comfy but still suitable for going out into town. You decided you would head to your favorite cafe for breakfast and try to cheer yourself up.

Before leaving, you made sure your long sleeves covered your wrist, but not before placing a large bandage over it for even more assurance that no one would see it.

How would you ever find your soulmate at this rate? Did you even want to?

You couldn't help but wonder if anyone's hint had ever been wrong...whether the person that said it to them was actually not the one for them.

There was only one way to find out, except you had no idea how long it would take. Some people found their soulmate in days, and for others it took years. You nearly shuddered at the thought of having this on your skin for years. The only saving grace about the situation was that the minute you found your person, the words would disappear from your skin forever.

Oh, well. Destiny will do as destiny does. And you had never encountered a situation in which your favorite cafe didn't cheer you up.

~

The walk to the cafe was peaceful. The weather outside was pleasant, and it was still early enough that not many people were out and about just yet.

You entered the building, a light bell sound chiming through the crisp morning air as the door swung open. Instantly, the smell of coffee and sweet breakfast pastries greeted you. The cashier at the counter smiled at you and gave you a small wave to welcome you in.

There were only a few people inside, some sitting down and others standing up to have a chat with their coworkers or loved ones they met here unexpectedly. It was nice, seeing people happy and in the moment.

"What can I get for you today, miss?"

You turned your attention to the friendly cashier, and gave her a small smile in return.

"I'll take an Americano, please. And surprise me with your favorite pastry. I don't think I'll be able to decide today," you said, the latter part of your sentence coming out a bit more dry than you intended.

If the cashier noticed, she didn't seem to take offense to it. She rang up your total and took your money gently, letting you know that your order would be ready in just a few minutes.

You thanked her and backed away from the counter to make room for the next customers in line. You did feel a little better, being somewhere so familiar and comforting. While you were waiting, you decided to check your phone and finally reply to all your friends.

Some were worried about you, others wondered if you wanted to reschedule your party since so much time and money had gone into it. You couldn't help but feel just a bit guilty.

You replied to each one, letting them know you were okay and that you would definitely like to have the party another time. Maybe you would tell them the truth someday...or maybe not. You would decide that another time.

The cashier called out your order and you took a step forward to take it from her. Your coffee was the perfect temperature, and you could smell a vague hint of chocolate from the paper bag containing your pastry.

You thanked her again and made your way back to the front door.

In order to open the door, you had to hold onto your coffee cup and grip the edge of the paper bag with your pinkie finger against the side of your cup so that you could push it open with your other hand.

Normally this works perfectly. Girls are basically hardwired to do this after years of having no pockets in their clothing most of the time. However, it would seem that destiny was continuing to do what it wanted.

The minute you started pushing on the door handle, another person on the outside pulled on it. Since you had nothing to hold onto, the force of it caused you to collide with them. Your coffee cup fell to the ground, immediately spilling everywhere, including your shoes and the stranger's. The bag containing your pastry ripped due to being pulled in two different directions, and the food fell to the ground as well, a slight plop sound adding insult to injury.

"What the fuck!?" you yelled, just a little too loudly- out of fear and simply genuine surprise.

The stranger gasped, and shot a hand up to yank out his earbuds.

"Oh, shit!"

You pushed yourself off of him and sank to the ground, trying to wipe up the mess with a few napkins you had from inside the cafe.

He didn't say anything else. He only watched you frantically wipe at the concrete. This only made you more angry at the situation.

You shot him a glare as you stood up with a huff. But then you froze.

The man was drop dead gorgeous.

He had a gray hoodie pulled up around his head, but tufts of soft blonde hair escaped the sides. He had delicate features, only accentuated by the freckles that dotted his perfect lightly tanned skin. There was a slightly tired look in his eyes, but also something else...like he had just realized something that no one else knew yet.

You opened your mouth to fuss at him, but the words died in your throat as you looked at him more intently.

"What did you say? he asked you suddenly, his surprisingly deep voice sending shivers down your spine. He tilted his head to the side like a curious puppy would.

"I...um. I think I said 'what the fuck?' You scared me! And made me drop my stuff."

The man didn't say anything else. He simply pulled up his shirt sleeve to reveal a large gauze pad covering his left wrist. With a soft yank, he tore it off to reveal the words underneath.

What the fuck?!

The words started disappearing from his skin as a light bulb went off in your mind. It's him.

"Wait, wait, wait!" you panicked, scrambling to pull up your own shirt sleeve to take your bandage off. You ripped it off in a hurry, just in time to see your hint completely fade from existence.

The two of you then stood in silence for a moment. A couple of cafe customers had to squeeze past you to get inside, and they shot you some weird looks. But you didn't care. You couldn't. Not when this had just happened so soon after you thought it never would.

"You owe me," he laughed out, almost bitterly. But his eyes were sparkling and he was grinning happily. "I've had that on me for years."

You laughed too, before you could stop yourself. You placed an unsteady hand on your chest, feeling your heart hammer against your ribs.

"Well...you owe me new coffee and food. And it's my birthday today. But I will admit, I thinks yours was just a bit worse than mine."

He chuckled, shoving the earbuds he still held in his pocket.

"Really? Then, happy birthday! What's your name?"

"(Y/N)."

"I'm Felix. It's nice to finally meet you."

You exhaled sharply through your nose, looking down to see the coffee stains on your shoes.

"I didn't like these much anyway. Sorry about yours, though."

Felix waved his hands in front of him a few times.

"No, it's okay. We could, ummm...go shopping? It is your birthday after all."

You giggled at his adorable nervousness. Suddenly, the thoughts and feelings you had been having about all this the whole time faded away, and seemed childish. You should've trusted the process from the beginning. The universe really just had a funny way of working things out sometimes. And something was pulling you to Felix, telling you that this was it. He was it. Everything felt right and okay and...warm.

"That sounds great, Felix. But...coffee first okay?"

He nodded, a relieved smile gracing his features and practically beaming sunlight towards you.

"I would love that."

Felix gestured for you to go through the door he opened for you, and you did so.

As you walked back up to the counter for the second time today, you decided that you would definitely be telling your friends about this later.

It had been the best- and weirdest- birthday yet.

~

[cosmic-chorizo]

The thought of Levi having an underground accent like Kenny but hiding it on purpose so he doesnt get looked down upon has been gnawing at my brain. Im going feral. What if it slips out when he’s real angry or real drunk??? I imagine the only people who are aware of it are Hange, Erwin, and Mike. Erwin and Mike never point it out knowing it would make Levi self conscious but Hange will straight up imitate him at first only to realize he’s embarrassed and then she feels so so so bad and says it’s pretty cool.

THEN SASHA HAPPENS

A girl also with an accent that is seen as “dumb” or “lowly”. One that makes people assume she’s stupid for having it.

Levi watches her engage in the same exact bullshit he does, hiding her accent to fit in better.

One night everyone else is asleep but them two and Sasha is too tired to put the mental effort into changing her accent and it slips out as she hands Levi something and she’s super embarrassed and immediately code switched goes “ah sorry about that, Captain, not a very polite way to speak I know” and Levi just replies in his own natural dialect like “y’aint gotta worry ‘bout it” not even making eye contact and Sasha is so shook but its so meaningful and small and wow Humanity’s Strongest^tm also has a heehaw accent?! And she feels better about herself.

[coolwyous]

Thoughts on the hockey!parents as chaperones at the kids’ high school proms and watching all the mess and romantic drama between their children unfold 😭

lara & reader: lara went ALL OUT to rent them a party bus and lara insists on taking a million photos she is so sentimental!! says "we only get to see them do this ONCE" as if she doesn't have photo albums of every single school dance that the girls have gone to since they were born ❤️ twins' mom banned lara from chaperoning the actual dance bc she doesn't want the girls embarrassed bc lara can't keep it together long enough to not ugly cry in public over her girls growing up. lara is def the dad that is like "if you're gonna do anything i can't know about at least tell a trusted adult and make sure there are no lasting consequences" and the twins are both like "oh god mom pls take her away she's losing it again IN FRONT OF EVERYONE ;-;" megan & reader: i feel like megan and reader were totally cool w not coming at all! probably planned a date night but at the last minute another chaperone got sick and they asked megan as a coach to come and chaperone and u know her ass can never turn down an opportunity to help ugh this big puppy <3 lara is blowing up megan's phone asking for the gossip "who is dancing with who? are the twins fighting? did arin even show up? does anyone look drunk yet and if so who do u think brought it?" and megan is struggling to keep up like "bro no wonder u got banned from being here ur so NOSY!" megan is lowkey overstimulated bc these kids are loud and annoying and she'd rather be on this date w reader than bothering her kids but the kids all do seem genuinely happy to see her <3 kj lights up like "wow coach you showed up?' and josie is like "dad will you take a picture of all of us?" and zuri is like "thanks for being a cool chaperone, auntie megan" and when megan sees them all getting along and having a good time she gets that warm fuzzy team feeling <3333 dani & reader: you BET YOUR ASS daniela was first on that signup list and didn't tell anyone! like oh hell no she is not about to let her angel baby daughter be surrounded by OTHER TEENAGERS without her close watchful eye to ensure everyone is keeping their entire BEING away from esme. esme shows up ready to party and comes face to face w fuckass DANIELA grinning big as fuck like "hi mi amor!!" and esme has to grit and be like "oh hi papi totally love you um but what are you doing here <333" but also u KNOW dani never says a word of critique to esme, her daughter is perfect and can do no wrong, but god forbid anyone look at her for too long and then dani is crashing out immediately "HEY. move it the fuck along, nuh uh! don't even fucking think about her again!" (i 1000% guarantee esme finds some way to get around daniela most likely by texting reader and being like "mami im so sorry but papi showed up to the dance and idk what to do....." dani ends up getting a VERY angry call from a very IRRITATED ex-wife and esme uses that window to get up to no good w her friends!)

[md-ll]

I don't think its possible to explain to a non-fandom person what fandoms actually mean to me. To all of us(???)

Like I've spent countless hours just on fandoms. On scrolling through Tumblr. On reading fanfiction. On just thinking about it.

I love my fandoms so deeply. I've met a lot of cool ppl throughout the years and Im sure I'll meet even more in the future.

A lot of things changed since the first fanfiction I ever read. Still remember it like it was yesterday. It was Jan 2021, I wasn't even 11 at that time lmao. It was a drarry fanfiction. Omfg drarry. Its so basic but they mean so much to me. But I could talk about them for hours so maybe some other time.

The thing is a lot of stuff changed. When I first joined a fandom ofc I couldn't speak English like I was small guys. I don't think all of ppl in fandoms, english-speaking part of fandoms are even aware how HUGE the russian-speaking part is. Like. We even got our own fanfiction website. Tbh most of the fanfiction I've read were in russian. Most of them are so peak. We in fact have got our own everything! RPs, fanarts, fanfiction, communities. Ik a whole bunch of ppl in russian parts of fandoms. Actually, I even hosted two RPs back in the day. What a memory.

Back to fandoms. Sometimes I realise that not everyone gets it. Like, I have a whole bunch of friends irl. I think.. none of them are in any fandoms. And then there is just me yapping and knowing everything about some goddamn show, like ninjago for example. Like I could go on for hours. And its like so hard to explain to them why do I feel that way.

Like wdym I smile everytime I see a Mars bar? How do I explain to them what Tumblr even is? What about AO3? How do I explain that such shows as Ninjago, MLP and idk Gravity Falls for example that are pretty much kids shows are REALLY deep for me???

Like Lloyd almost died how many times?

Twilight is going to rule alone and watch all of her friends die??

Billford is canon and Ford said that Bill was centre of his life, sun in his galaxy?????

I read ATYD like- idk, maybe 6 times?

Honestly don't even get me started on how much fanfiction I've read back in the day

Or how many ppl I met in these communities

Yk, ppl always say do not talk to strangers online but when it's fandom ppl then it doesn't really matter does it?

Anyways I love all of my fandoms sooooo much, but Im sure yall here get it

Im gonna just tag every single fandom I ever was in so

I'll delete it if Im gonna be embarrassed in like two days

[passivetimber]

made an incredibly embarrassing mistake at practice tonight when I didn't even know anyone was paying attention to me and then our director was like "actually you were supposed to be over here instead" and drew the attention of the other 120 people in band ohmygod guess I have to lay down in the dirt forever now thanks

[msasterisk]

cozy lapidot

[fisherrprince]

Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,

[daily-hanamura]

[sillypuppy77]

i yearn to be wanted

[dennisboobs]

for the record, i think *everyone* should voice their opinions directly in my replies and reblogs, because there's this beautiful thing called "talking to people" and it does wonders for the sense of community when you don't feel like it's you against everyone else. if i make a dumbass post i encourage y'all to say something directly to me, i'll probably agree with you on your points, and if i don't, then you might gain a better understanding of mine that must have led me there.

like, am i crazy. am i old. i genuinely think this is the largest contributing factor to isolation and this Me vs. Them vibe that modern fandom has going on. most of the time if i see something ~factually incorrect~ and shoot somebody a reply they go, "shit, you're right, my bad!" and that's the end of it. i would hope everybody would pay me the same courtesy and be comfortable enough to do that, idk.

[nats-revival]

whoever LIED TO ME on tiktok and told me natalie was gay, im gonna SHOOT THE SHIT OUTTA YOU. 💔💔💔

[napping-sapphic]

You should make me fall so deeply in love with you that it’s embarrassing

[be11avida]

clearly the bear used up their entire budget on booking one single great actor and decided to use the cheapest people for the rest of the roles :/

[youreyeson1y]

never thought i'd hear chk chk boom be played at our school field on the speakers but we gone done it lol