#and finally make a yt channel
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blue-iced-tea · 10 months ago
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I always know it's possible to live in a "slice-of-life" lifestyle.
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pairingbrainrot · 29 days ago
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apathyfairy · 2 years ago
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life is so fucked up because everyone wants you to be someone at 17 and have your life figured out by the time you graduate high school at 18 but let me tell you!!!! only now in my late 20s am i finally starting to understand who i am as a person and what i want from life!!!! society literally dooms us by telling us that if you don’t have your shit together by 25 you might as well give up but they’re wrong!!!! 20 and 30 really are still so young!!! you have to grow and learn and that all takes time it doesn’t happen in your teens!!!!
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flowersandcandy06 · 4 months ago
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Randomness // 49: Brownie Recipe
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-[Info Stuff]-
Originally Posted: February 28th
Mouseover Text on OG Page: "Bro tried to use the supercomputer for cooking 7_7 shaking my smh my head"
Author's Note: "Man, I wish I had a brownie right about now...I miss eating the corner brownies :,|
(Based on that one thing Soupy posted in the rules channel of Watermelon Fanclub last year or so, lol)"
[Link 2 Page]
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just-absolutely-super · 7 months ago
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"But is this really the end of Optimus Prime?"
Nah
"Find out in tomorrow's episode, The Return of Optimus Prime."
.........
*checks episode list*
NOT AGAIN
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cheriedivine · 2 months ago
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Handcuffed couple challenge (youtuber!Ellie x reader)
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♡‧₊˚₊✧ pairing: Ellie Williams x Fem reader (No use of y/n)
♡‧₊˚₊✧ summary: Filming a handcuffed couple challenge with Ellie, what could possibly go wrong?
♡‧₊˚₊✧ CW: Slightly suggestive jokes, Swearing, use of pet names (bae, babe, baby) just Ellie and reader being silly
♡‧₊˚₊✧ Tags: youtuber!Ellie, youtuber!reader, stablished relationship, oneshot, fluff
♡‧₊˚₊✧ WC: 7.4K (lol)
♡‧₊˚₊✧ Author’s note: HEYYY SO IT’S FINALLY HERE, you guys have no idea how much I enjoyed writing this, ofc it’s based on Izzy&Emma’s latest yt video where they do the 24hrs handcuffed, but i gave it my own twist hehe, I hope you guys enjoy it and lmk what you think! also i’m open to requests if y’all want anything in specific. that’s all luv u enjoy <3
୨୧─── ⋆୨୧⋆ ───୨୧─── ⋆୨୧⋆ ───୨୧─── ⋆୨୧⋆ ───୨୧
One thing about Ellie Williams is that when something gets into that pretty little head of hers, you are doomed. Especially when it comes to recording a video for your shared youtube channel.
This time was no different.
It was 2am when Ellie, half-asleep and deep in a TikTok scroll spiral, stumbled across a video of a couple doing a ridiculous cooking challenge handcuffed together, laughing and making a complete mess of their kitchen. That was all it took.
The next morning, you woke up in an empty bed. Your girlfriend? Nowhere to be seen. Weird… You thought,
You blinked at the ceiling for a moment, brain foggy with sleep, before shrugging it off. She probably hit the gym early or something, she did that sometimes. Still half-asleep, you sank deeper into the blankets and started your usual doom scrolling, checking socials, reading comments, answering emails. The usual.
An hour passed, and your stomach started to grumble from the lack of food. You glanced at the time, then at the door. “Where the hell is she?” You debated waiting for her to eat, but curiosity won so you pulled up her contact to text her. But you can swear this girl is telepathically connected to you because as soon as you clicked on her contact, a message from her popped up like she was psychic.
“Has your majesty risen yet? I’m bringing breakfast ;)”
You rolled your eyes, already smirking.
“U are such a loser. I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Miss me much?”
You didn’t even have to see her to know she was surely wearing that smug stupid little grin the one that made you want to kiss her and throw a pillow at her face at the same time.
With a dramatic sigh, you finally rolled out of bed, heading to the bathroom for your morning skincare routine. The splash of cold water brought you fully to life. You threw on one of Ellie’s hoodies — for warmth, obviously, not because it still smelled like her, and shuffled into the kitchen to feed your cat.
“Pspspsps, T-Rex. Breakfast is served,” you called, holding the food dish. The little fur ball meowed like he hadn’t eaten in a decade, purring as you scratched the back of his head.
That’s when you heard the front door unlock.
Ellie walked in, balancing a pair of grocery bags and a cardboard drink carrier with two coffee cups. Her hoodie sleeves were pushed up, her tattoo flexing on her forearm and there was a determined (and slightly unhinged) look in her eyes.
You blinked. “Ellie, what the hell? We weren’t supposed to do groceries ‘til Sunday.”
She dropped the bags on the counter and grinned. “Good morning to you too. And yes, I slept great, thanks for asking, babe.” You narrowed your eyes as she handed you a warm breakfast bagel and your favorite coffee.
“…What’s with the groceries and surprise breakfast? What did you do?”
“Can’t I just do something nice for my beautiful girlfriend that I love sooo much?” she said with that shit-eating grin that meant she was absolutely up to something.
“Spill. Now.”
She of course cracked immediately.
“So. I had an idea. Okay? A great one. Picture this: you and me. Handcuffed. In the kitchen.”
You froze. “Woah, woah hold your horses, number 1 why would i want to be handcuffed and number 2 where the fuck are we even supposed to get handcuffs?”
“Jesse” she replied casually.
“GROSS…That’s disgusting.”
“So you’re saying you wouldn’t want to be handcuffed to me?” Ellie gasped, placing both hands dramatically over her chest. “Wow. Okay. You hate me.”
“You are the most dramatic person on this entire planet I swear” you muttered, already regretting your life choices.
“You’re telling me you don’t want to see me try to knead pizza dough with one hand while handcuffed to you?”
You stared at her. She grinned wider.
“I hate you,” you said flatly, taking a long sip of your coffee.
“No, you don’t.”
And unfortunately for you — she was right.
Ellie proceeded to lay out the entire chaotic plan (which, in hindsight, explained the suspiciously full grocery bags). She showed you the TikTok video that had inspired her latest hyperfixation — some couple fumbling through a cooking challenge while handcuffed. “Look at them,” she said, scoffing. “We’d be so much better than this. They didn’t even season their sauce!”
It took a full hour of bargaining, bribery, and Ellie promising to do all the chores for the next two weeks before you finally caved. Truthfully, a small part of you was curious how badly it could go… plus, being handcuffed to Ellie wasn’t exactly the worst fate in the world.
Ellie dragged out the tripod from the closet, the one that had a chipped leg because she refused to buy another one “It works just fine” she said— and began adjusting it like she was some kind of professional cinematographer. Meanwhile, you were getting ready in your room, doing your everyday makeup, some light blush, mascara and setting powder so the light wouldn’t reflect directly on your face, your routine was simple but familiar. You changed Ellie’s hoodie into a plain black shirt that fitted you like a glove, because why not, at the end you still wanted to look good.
Ellie adjusted the tripod one last time, squinting into the tiny screen like she was defusing a bomb. “Okay… I think it’s straight?, the lighting is kinda shit tho” Ellie muttered, twisting the ring light toward your side. “There. Now let’s get this bitch started shall we?” With that Ellie hit the record button, rushed to your side with the handcuffs clinking in her grip, and threw an arm around you.
“Hey losers,” she grinned at the camera. “Welcome back to our channel.” You waved dramatically. “Today, we’re doing something incredibly stupid, which of course was... Ellie’s idea.”
Ellie held up the handcuffs like a trophy. “We’re making a pizza while being handcuffed together,” she said, eyes glinting with mischief. “And before anyone starts—no, these aren’t from last night. These are borrowed. Unfortunately.” You gave the camera a deadpan stare. “Oh my god. Literally everything could go wrong.”
“Okay so who’s gonna be on which side” Ellie raised a brow before putting the handcuffs on, “Wait… are we both right handed?” you questioned, pausing mid-thought. Ellie gave you an offended look. “You should remember if i'm right handed babe” Your girlfriend said teasingly giving you a wink.
“You are such a perv,” you muttered, narrowing your eyes. Then, turning to the camera like you were addressing a live audience: “Well, since I’m the one who actually cooks in this household, I think I deserve to have my right hand free.”
Ellie scoffed. “Um, yeah, but I’ve got more strength in my right hand, so I could knead the dough way better.” To prove her point, she flexed her arm like some kind of gym rat. You stared at her. She was ridiculous.
But you had your ways.
Leaning in close—just enough for your lips to nearly graze her cheek—you whispered, low and deliberate. “If I get to have my right hand free… I’ll let you have a little fun with these later.”
She didn’t even say anything before clasping that handcuff immediately to her right hand. Her freckled face turning fifty different shades of red.
“…Fine. You win.”
You grabbed the other side of the handcuff and clicked it around your left wrist.
“Oh my god, I already hate this,” you groaned, trying to stretch your arm while Ellie moved in the opposite direction like she had no concept of shared space.
“Too late to back out now. LET’S GET THIS SHIT STARTED, BABYYYY!” she screamed in her fake frat-boy voice, throwing both arms in the air and nearly dislocating your shoulder in the process.
You winced. “How about you try not to break my wrist before we even start.”
She grinned like a menace. “Sorry babe. Kinda forgot we were attached for a sec.”
“Did you even look up a recipe before deciding to do this?” you asked, already knowing the answer. She blinked. “Um…nope”
You sighed.
Of course not. That’s why you had been stuck scrolling through your phone for the past ten minutes, trying to find the easiest homemade pizza recipe on the internet—while your hand was getting jerked around like a ragdoll.
“Okay, genius. We need: flour, yeast, olive oil, salt, sugar, and warm water.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Bet. Let’s get this bread. Literally.”
You started pulling ingredients out of the bags while Ellie, predictably, got in the way at every turn.
“Left!”
“Your left or my left?!”
“We share a left right now!”
Ellie poured the flour onto the counter, way too enthusiastically.
“Bae… slow down, this isn’t a sandbox,” you warned, watching the powdery mountain grow taller and messier by the second.
“No no no—this is the volcano thingy! We’re doing it all fancy,” she said, using her fingers to dig a little well in the center like she'd seen on TikTok. “Now pour the warm water and yeast in here,” she added, nodding toward the crater like she was a Michelin-star chef.
You raised a brow. “You’re acting like you’ve trained in Italy. You watched a 30-second reel.”
“Don’t disrespect my culinary heritage,” she said, her hands now fully coated in flour. You leaned in, cautiously pouring the mixture into the well… but oh dear you were mistaken thinking Ellie was gonna behave. She looked directly to the camera and blinked before her flour-covered hand left the dough volcano, and smacked right onto your boob.
SMACK.
A perfect, powdery handprint appeared on your favorite shirt.
You froze. Blinked. Looked down slowly like you were in a movie about to go rogue.
“Ellie Williams…” you said, dangerously calm.
“What?” she grinned, so smug you considered throwing her into the volcano. “Just cleaning off my hand.”
“On my favorite shirt.”
“It’s a work of art, I left my mark. Like a signature. That’s love, baby.”
You gave the camera a long, deadpan stare. T-Rex meowed behind you rubbing his little head against your leg like he understood the gravity of the situation.
“You’re gonna pay for that.”
Ellie’s grin only widened. “Oh no!. Am I gonna get punished?” she asked, voice dipping into a mock pout.
You rolled your eyes, trying not to smile as you swiped some flour off the counter and flicked it right into her face.
“Oh it’s on now.”
Despite the chaos, the kitchen started filling with the warm scent of yeast and flour mixing as you combined everything, Ellie took over the kneading (with her left hand, of course), turning it into a flexing contest.
“Check this out,” she said, rolling up her sleeve and smirking at the camera. “These biceps? Built for dough.”
You raised an eyebrow, trying not to smile at how seriously she was taking herself. She flexed her arm, giving a playful wink before getting to work on the dough, her hand moving with surprising precision.
“Alright, go ahead and knead that dough, big shot. Show me what those ‘dough-building’ muscles can do,” you teased, arms crossed, watching her go full-on chef mode.
Ellie scoffed but didn’t hesitate, her hands sinking into the dough with exaggerated care. “This right here? The art of pizza-making. Watch and learn.”
You couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, eyes trailing down her flexed arm. Your gaze lingered on the tattoo on her forearm—the intricate design that you loved more than you'd ever admit.
“Damn,” you said, letting out a low whistle. “Those arms... and that tattoo? I’m gonna need a moment to compose myself.”
You stood next to her, trying to hold back your giggles, but the flour-covered chaos around you only made it harder to be serious. T-Rex jumped on the flour covered counter, sniffing the dough like he was ready to apply his biscuit kneading technique. "Hey, not you too," you said, shooing the cat away.
Ellie, of course, had no intention of letting this become a normal cooking session. She threw you a smirk. “So, you’re just gonna stand there and look cute while I do all the work?”
“Obviously," you replied, leaning back against the counter, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Somebody has to keep the camera in focus while you work."
“Right,” Ellie said, rolling her eyes as she continued kneading. “You’re just here for moral support and laugh at my flour-covered face.”
"True," you agreed, brushing the tip of her nose with your flour coated finger, you could tell that despite the playful banter, Ellie was surprisingly proud of her skills—despite the flour in her hair, and the random stray bits of dough sticking to her shirt. She paused for a moment, looking over at the camera. “You guys, this is actually kind of fun. like the adult version of slime”
“Who said adults can’t play with slime” you pouted jokingly, “Society.” you laughed out loud at the brunettes response, Ellie grinned, obviously pleased with the teamwork. “Just wait ‘til the pizza’s done. I’m gonna blow your mind, babe.”
“Ok now we need to let the dough rest for about two hours, or until it’s doubled in size—“ “WHAT? TWO FREAKING HOURS?” your girlfriend interrupted, clearly upset by the statement. “Yes Ellie…, now don't be impatient and let’s start with the marinara sauce” you tried cheering her up by occupying her mind on something else.
Ellie dragged you to where the tripod was situated, almost safely and changed it’s angle so the camera got a better view of you and the stove, “Alright all set, so what’s next babe?” she asked, looking at you with her mesmerizing green eyes. “Wait i got distracted— Ok so now we open the tomato cans and pour them into the pot with a little bit of olive oil, a garlic clove, some basil leaves and obviously salt and pepper”.
“Okayyyy chef, see guys that’s why she stays in the kitchen— wait that sounded so wrong… does that count as sexism if we’re lesbians?” Ellie said worried, but you laughed easing her nerves a bit “You are so stupid I think i'm in love with you” She blushed at your comment and proceeded to try and open the can, and try in the sense that you were holding the can while she placed the can opener on the brim of the can. “Why is this shit so hard bro”
Finally after battling with the can for a few minutes Ellie managed to get it open, triumphantly holding up the can opener with a smug grin on her face. “Hey, babe, check this out.” She held the tool in front of you like it was some sort of weapon, pointing at it dramatically. “This... is a can opener,” she said with a wink, then pointed at herself with a teasing smirk. “And this... is a leg opener.” There was a pause before you scoffed, rolling your eyes as you reached for the camera. “I swear, I’m deleting this footage later, just so you know.”
With a final defeated sigh, Ellie popped open the tomato sauce can. “See, I’m good at this.” she said as she started to pour the sauce into the pot. But just as she tilted the can, a little too much sauce splashed up and hit her favorite hoodie. Tiny bright red sauce drops splattered in the center of her chest.
You couldn't help but burst out laughing. “That is literally karma” you teased, your voice dripping with mock pity. “Looks like it’s your turn to clean up, chef.”
Ellie looked down at the red stain, then back at you, unphased. She wiped a bit of sauce off her hoodie with the back of her hand and smirked. “See, this is what happens when yall don’t appreciate my cooking skills.”
“STOP ELLIE YOU’RE MAKING IT WORSE, DON'T WIPE THE SAUCE OFF YOU'RE MAKING A MESS ” you whined at your girlfriend, the hoodie was in fact worse than before. That sauce was not going to come off anytime soon “The only mess i wanna make is the one with your—“ You smacked your free hand on her mouth before she could even finish the sentence. “One more dirty joke and I’m duct taping your mouth shut” you warned her, eyes fixed on hers.
Her eyes sparkled like she might actually enjoy that. You narrowed yours in return.
“Anyway,” you sighed dramatically, turning to face the camera again. “Back to the video. We’re gonna let the sauce simmer with some seasoning and, fingers crossed, it’ll turn out edible.”
Ellie leaned in to sniff the pot. “Smells good. Gordom Ramsey BEWARE we’re coming for you”
You laughed and grabbed your phone again. “Okay, while that simmers, we can start chopping the toppings. You’re on mushroom duty.”
Ellie raised an eyebrow. “You’re letting me handle the knife? While we’re handcuffed?” She said looking directly at the camera like she was some sort of reality cooking show “I trust you babe, just try not to chop your good fingers off.” you said teasingly, Ellie rolled her eyes and with a sigh she settled a few mushrooms on the cutting board and hoped for the best, “You sure you want ME doing this?…” Ellie looked at you, trying to reverse-psychology herself out of the situation, but when you saw how truly worried she was, you took the responsibility of chopping the toppings, while Ellie placed them on little bowls carefully.
“Okay you know what, maybe we should just settle for a classic pepperoni and cheese pizza…” you said glancing at the terribly chopped mushrooms in front of you, Ellie gave you a side eye that said more than words could tell, and you agreed to keep it simple and overall safe.
“Alright guys the chopping is canceled, sometimes you just gotta accept the defeat and move on, even I have to back off sometimes you know” Ellie said dramatically, like she was giving a pep talk to the camera.
“Ok, ok now what the hell are we supposed to do while we wait for the dough to rise?” you asked your girlfriend, “I know some ways we could kill time you know” She said with that stupid grin on her face.
“I would kill you right now but I’m attached to the crime scene so…” you said flatly, looking her dead in the eye, while she was trying to hold her laughter. This girl is going to be the death of you literally.
After a few minutes of thinking what you could actually do, Ellie leaned back against the counter, tapping her fingers like she was waiting for lightning to strike. You were scrolling through the recipe again, double-checking you hadn’t missed anything—until you noticed she was just staring at you.
“What?” you asked, not even looking up.
“I have an idea.”
You sighed immediately. “Of course you do.”
“Hear me out babe, blindfolded lipstick challenge while also being handcuffed… ” she said, already reaching for her phone, to look for the video that had inspired this idea. “We’ve got at least an hour before the dough’s done doing its thing, right?”
Your eyes narrowed. “Ok I’m in, but you should be the one putting the lipstick on me since you’re the one missing your dominant hand.”
Ellie lit up like a Christmas tree at the idea, pushing herself off the counter and dragging you along by the handcuffs toward the tripod. She grabbed it, still grinning, and carried it to the bathroom, where you both agreed the lighting was better (and the mirror would save your lives). You set the tripod down carefully on the sink, adjusting the camera just enough to keep both of you in the frame. Meanwhile, Ellie fumbled with a sleeping mask, pulling it over her eyes and completely blacking out her vision.
“Alright guys, while we do this, I’m gonna read some of the questions you sent to our Instagram story earlier,” you told the camera, trying not to laugh at how serious Ellie looked fumbling blindly with the lipstick in her hand.
“By the way,” Ellie interrupted, lifting the lipstick like it was a microphone, “if you don’t already follow us, it’s either because you’re a loser or you’re new here. Either way, all our socials are linked down below.”
You snickered under your breath as she tapped around your face, trying to locate your lips with the lipstick.
“Anyway, back to the questions,” you said, pulling out your phone. “First one: How did you guys meet?”
Ellie let out a dramatic sigh, like she was preparing to tell an epic love story. “Ah, finally, a normal question. Okay. So, we met in college. I was majoring in Visual Arts, because obviously, gay. And she—” she nodded blindly toward you, “—was majoring in Film. We crossed paths a few times, and I basically had a huge hallway crush on her.”
You smiled at the memory, leaning into her light touch as she awkwardly dabbed lipstick near your mouth.
“We found out we had a bunch of mutual friends, they introduced us, we started talking... and then you know, classic slow-burn, painfully homoerotic friendship that turned into this," Ellie said, waving the lipstick vaguely at the handcuffs between you. “Very on brand for us.”
You both laughed, the camera catching everything perfectly—the lipstick smudging halfway across your cheek, Ellie’s huge grin under the sleeping mask, and the pure chaos that somehow felt like the most natural thing in the world.
“Yeah at the moment I didn’t realize I was a lesbian yet, so that explains the homoerotic tension and painfully slow burn” you explained while Ellie still struggled to locate the lipstick where it needed to be.
“Dudeee stop moving, I can't do this if you keep talking—“ She said desperately “—Ok wait just let me read this question and I’ll let you do your work” you assured her.
You were mid-scroll, trying to find the next question, when you burst out laughing. “Oh my god—okay wait, this one is messed up. Who even asked this?”
Ellie paused, lipstick still in one hand, her other hand hovering awkwardly over your face. “What is it?”
You cleared your throat dramatically and read it in your best game show host voice.
“Would you rather: see your parents having sex... or have your parents see YOU having sex?”
Ellie ripped off the sleeping mask, like she couldn’t believe her eyes (or more likely her ears). “I think I spoke too fucking soon about you guys submitting normal questions.”
You were already crying, laughing, clutching the sink for balance. “I’m not answering that.”
“Oh no, you read it out loud. Now you have to.”
“I literally can’t choose, both are psychological terrorism.”
Ellie made a face like she was in physical pain. “Okay, okay, I think... I’d rather them see me. Just so I have the power. I can be like, ‘That’s what y’all get for traumatizing me first.’ Turn it into a full circle revenge arc.”
You wheezed. “Oh my god.”
“Now you have to answer,” your girlfriend insisted, like a puppy waiting for a treat. “I think I rather see them having sex, but just because I think i’d be too embarrassed and would actually die on the spot if they saw me, so yeah thats my answer, and also it couldn’t get worse you know—“
“—Ok that’s valid.” She pointed the lipstick at the camera like it was a weapon. “Whoever submitted that, you are sick, why would you even think that”. Ellie laughed, but it came out more like a smirk. She adjusted the sleeping mask back in her eyes again and continued to “apply” the lipstick on you.
“Okay I think I’m almost finished— time for the big reveal now, but close your eyes. On the count of three. One…”
“Two” you said in unison.
“Oh god im scared—“ you said already knowing your face probably looked like you made out with a crayon.
“THREE”
You looked in the mirror, bursting into laughter at the sight of the lipstick smeared well past your lips and halfway down your chin. “I look like I just made out with a clown.”
Ellie beamed. Tears in her eyes from the previous laughing fit “You’re welcome.”
“Ok now it’s my turn” you said, snatching the lipstick from her hand, Ellie was still snorting at your lipstick stained face, admiring her work of art, when you tugged the sleeping mask over your eyes. “Okay, my turn. Hand over your face.”
She scoffed, grabbing your wrist and guiding the lipstick into her face “My beautiful face is ready for the sacrifice.”
“Just stay still and don’t make any faces,” you warned, already gripping her chin with your handcuffed hand like an amateur dentist.
“No promises,” she said, settling back on the toilet lid, legs spread like she was about to do an interview with Vogue. She reached for your phone and scrolled through the next question from the Q&A sticker. “Ooooh, here’s one: ‘What’s your biggest ick about each other?’”
You and Ellie both went “oooooh” at the same time, the camera catching it perfectly.
You grinned mischievously. “I’ll go first. Ellie chews on random shit like a dog. Pens, her hoodie drawstrings, bottle caps… one time I caught her with my AirPods case in her mouth.”
Ellie gasped in mock betrayal. “IT WAS ONE TIME.”
You pointed at her. “One time too many.”
Ellie chuckled darkly. “Alright. My ick for you? You take hours to reply to texts. Like, I’ll send ‘are you alive?’ and you’ll answer six hours later with a meme.”
You shrugged, unapologetic. “I have a very active brain. I can’t be tied down.”
“This is your mouth, right?” you asked, blindly smearing the product around her lips like a toddler with a crayon.
Ellie was laughing. “I think that was my nostril, but I’ll allow it.” You giggled, blindly tapping her cheeks with your fingers.
“Okay, next question,” she said, biting back a giggle as the waxy tip grazed her nose. “Oh my god. You’re drawing on my nose, aren’t you?”
“No. I’m outlining your beautiful upper lip,” you lied blatantly, tongue poking out in focus as you smudged the lipstick across half Ellie’s cheek. “Next question, babe.”
Ellie cleared your throat dramatically. “If aliens came to Earth and offered to take one of you back to their planet forever, who would go?”
You didn’t hesitate. “Ellie. Because she’d cry less than me.”
“True, but also It would give me such good lore”
“Shhh,” you hushed her. “Stay still or I’m gonna give you a mustache.”
She burst out laughing as you smudged even more lipstick on her chin. “I swear to god, you’re using my face like a sketchpad.”
You peeked under the blindfold to see her face—her entire mouth, nose, and even her forehead now stained with lipstick from constantly touching her face mid-application.
You shrieked. “You look like the joker”
She looked at the camera with a straight face. “Guys is it giving performance art makeup yes or no”
“You’re giving a sick Victorian child ” you wheezed, “Can we do one last question please” you asked Ellie, she nodded while looking for one last question to end the little q&a.
“Who said ‘I love you’ first?”
Ellie leaned closer to the camera like she was telling a secret. “It was me. But I thought she was asleep when I said it, so technically I didn’t mean to say it out loud.”
“I was literally AWAKE. I was just pretending to sleep because I was so nervous I felt like my heart was getting ripped off my chest”
“You were fake sleeping?” she gasped. “You mean I confessed my undying love to a decoy?”
“Literally yes. But I said it back the next morning, so it still counts.”
“Okay, but can we just acknowledge how poetic that moment was? Me, whispering ‘I love you’ into your unconscious body like a sad poet?”
“And me pretending to sleep like a coward,” you added.
After a few more minutes of waiting — and filming a whole artsy montage of you both modeling the masterpieces that were your lipstick-smeared faces — the dough had finally doubled in size.
Which meant: pizza assembly time.
“Can I roll the dough?” Ellie asked, already scraping the dough out of the bowl with one hand.
“Of course, babe,” you said sweetly. “Just don’t rip my wrist out of the socket while you do it.”
Ellie shot you a cocky grin, grabbed the wooden rolling pin, and planted her uncuffed hand firmly on the left side. You lined up your hand on the right, both of you teamworking the shit out of it — handcuffed, half-delirious, and still somehow making it work. Once the dough was flattened into a kinda-sorta-acceptable circle, you grabbed the pot of sauce and spread a thick layer across it, narrating every step in your best fake cooking show voice.
“And now, we generously apply our lovingly handcrafted marinara— Ellie, STOP eating the toppings!” you snapped, catching her with a full knuckle of shredded mozzarella halfway to her mouth.
She rolled her eyes and popped it in anyway. “Party pooper.”
You dramatically sighed, sprinkling the rest of the cheese over the pizza. That’s when it hit you.
“Oh, fuck, Ellie, we forgot to preheat the oven!”
Ellie froze mid-bite. “...The oven works? I thought it was like a landlord myth.”
You stared at her in disbelief. “Do you even know how to turn it on?”
She shrugged, wiping her cheese-sticky fingers on her jeans. “Not a clue.”
Still filming — the camera balanced on the counter catching every second of this— you both stared helplessly at the untouched oven. After a few seconds of aimless button pressing and frustrated groaning, Ellie threw her head back.
“That’s it. We’re bringing out the big guns.”
She fished her phone out of her pocket (with much difficulty, considering the handcuffs) and FaceTimed Joel.
You both stared at the screen, waiting.
After a few rings, Joel’s tired face popped up — and the second he saw you two, his mouth opened like he was about to say something but no words came out.
“What the hell...?” he finally managed, blinking hard at the sight of his daughter and her girlfriend covered in what looked like smeared clown makeup, chained together by a pair of suspiciously shiny handcuffs.
Ellie cracked up immediately. "Heyyy Joel. We’re filming a video. Long story. Anyway— can you PLEASE tell us how the hell to turn the oven on before we burn the house down?"
You leaned into the frame, offering Joel your sweetest sauce-smudged smile. "Hi Joel!"
He shook his head slowly. "Y’all look like you lost a fight with a three-year-old and a Crayola factory."
Ellie wiped a fake tear. "That’s the nicest thing you've ever said to me, man."
Joel groaned. "And what’s with the damn handcuffs? Jesus Christ."
You started giggling. "Content, Joel. It’s for the content."
Joel gave the camera a look so fatherly it could've been framed. "I don’t even wanna know what kinda content y’all makin'. Alright, listen up. Find the oven buttons."
Ellie spun around dramatically, dragging you along with her. "Found 'em! There's like, a hundred buttons, though!"
Joel sighed, like he already regretted answering. "It ain’t rocket science, El. Look for somethin' that says 'Bake'."
Ellie squinted. "Okay, okay, I see it—What temperature should I set it at?"
Joel pinched the bridge of his nose. "Put it to 400."
"Yessir," Ellie saluted, poking the buttons with her free hand while you tried to steady the camera, still filming everything.
Meanwhile, Joel just kept staring at the two of you. "And you’re really just... sittin' there... wearin’ kids' makeup and chained together like morons."
Ellie grinned wide. "Yup. Living the dream, old man."
"World’s gone to hell," Joel muttered, but he was definitely smiling a little now. "Alright, once it’s preheatin’, leave it alone. No touchin' it. And for the love of god, don't try shovin’ the pizza in there without help, you'll burn the damn house down."
You gave a thumbs-up. "Thank you Joel! Love you!"
He shook his head but you swore you saw the smallest smile tug at his mouth.
"Yeah, yeah. Love you too, kiddo. Don't die."
With that, he hung up.
Ellie turned to the camera with a shit-eating grin.
"And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, was Joel Miller making his monthly YouTube appearance ."
You cackled, wiping some flour off your forehead.
"I can already smell the comments."
Ellie threw an arm (and by proxy, your handcuffed arm) around your shoulders.
"We should make him do the 'Handcuffed Baking Challenge' next time."
"Joel would rather be hit with a golf stick" you snorted.
"Facts," Ellie agreed proudly.
After hanging up with Joel, you and Ellie high-fived but it came out more like an awkward clank of your wrists, and turned back to the unfinished pizza sitting on the counter.
“Alright, final touches before this baby goes in the oven,” you announced, grabbing the bag of pepperoni.
Ellie wiggled her eyebrows. “Let’s make a pepperoni shaped figure on it.”
You snorted. "Like, a heart? A smiley face?"
Ellie grinned mischievously. "Nah. I was thinking something more mature."
You gave her a warning look. “If you suggest a dick shape, I swear to god—”
Ellie gasped dramatically, clutching her chest. "I would NEVER—okay, I was totally thinking a dick shape, but whatever, party pooper. Smiley face it is."
Handcuffed and giggling like idiots, the two of you painstakingly arranged the pepperonis into a smiley face, which turned out looking more like the default male roblox face. It took way longer than it should have — every time Ellie moved a piece, she’d yank your wrist with her, causing you to mess up your side, and vice versa.
"STOP MOVING!" you cried.
"I CAN'T, YOU'RE BREATHING TOO LOUD," Ellie shot back, sticking her tongue out in concentration.
Finally, after what felt like a solid ten minutes of struggling, the pizza was ready — just as the oven beeped, signaling it was preheated.
"Moment of truth, baby," Ellie said solemnly.
Together, you shuffled over to the oven like some three-legged race team from hell. You opened the oven door (barely), Ellie held the pizza tray with one hand, and you guided the oven rack out with your free one.
T-rex was awakened from his nap by the sound of you guys fumbling with the oven door, which caused him to meow so loud, you thought Ellie had stepped on his tail.
"Please don't drop it, please don't drop it, please don't drop it," you chanted under your breath as you both maneuvered it inside.
Somehow, miraculously, the pizza slid into the oven without major casualties.
You both whooped and fist-bumped midair.
"Alright, while that's cooking, we should probably clean up... before Joel somehow senses the chaos and drives over here," you joked, grabbing the dirty bowls and utensils.
Ellie groaned dramatically but helped you anyway, dragging you along to the sink like a reluctant kid.
The two of you struggled through washing dishes — you holding the plates, Ellie scrubbing them, occasionally splashing water all over the counter (and each other).
"This is teamwork, right?" Ellie said, throwing a sudsy sponge at your chest.
"Teamwork makes the dream work, baby," you said, wiping the water off your shirt with exaggerated dignity.
Facing the camera, Ellie leaned closer, water dripping down her sleeve.
"I just want the record to show," she said seriously, "that I do in fact help with the dishes in this house"
You bumped her hip with yours. "Barely."
Ellie laughed, then turned to the camera again, her green eyes bright.
"Alright guys, if you’re still watching this mess, comment down below who do you think is carrying this relationship: me, or her?" she pointed at you with a soapy finger.
You gasped. "First of all, it’s me, easily. Secondly, stop slandering me on MY YouTube channel."
Ellie wiggled her brows. "Our channel, babe. Equality."
“Equality would be you doing more of the dishes,” you muttered under your breath, making the camera catch it, and sending Ellie into another fit of laughter.
Just as you finished drying the last plate (and somehow still soaked the front of your shirts), Ellie sniffed dramatically.
"I'm actually so proud of us babe, even if the pizza turns out like shit (Which it wont) we did such a good job for being HANDCUFFED"
You leaned into her, grinning.
"Yes I agree, it wasn’t half as terrible as I thought"
Ellie flexed her still-cuffed arm like she was being awarded a medal.
"Told you It was a great idea"
“Yeah, yeah, now let's settle down for a bit — my legs hurt from standing up all day," you huffed dramatically, dragging Ellie along with you towards the couch.
Ellie clumsily carried the camera with her free hand and set it down on your little coffee table, adjusting it so you were both in frame. Finally, you collapsed onto the couch, feeling like you could melt into the cushions.
"I'm so hungry I could eat T-Rex," you groaned, your cat immediately hopping onto your lap and purring loudly.
"HEY. WHAT THE HELL," Ellie gasped, immediately scandalized. "Leave our baby out of this" She reached out with her free hand to pet T-Rex, who purred even louder at the attention.
"Who's a good boy? Who’s mama's good boy?" you cooed, scratching his chin just right, making his tail twitch with satisfaction.
Ellie watched the scene with a blank face before deadpanning at the camera, "I just got a girl boner from that."
You gave her a scandalized look and tugged at the front of her hoodie. "You're unbelievable."
"And yet," Ellie said smugly, ruffling your hair, "you’re still with me. Tragic."
You rolled your eyes, settling back against her shoulder. "If you could only bring one thing to a remote island, what would you bring?" Ellie asked suddenly, throwing the question toward the camera like it was a game show.
You answered without hesitation. "You. Obviously. There’s no one else I'd rather be stuck with."
“Aweee—“ Ellie's face went soft immediately, cheeks flushing pink. She leaned down and kissed the top of your head.
“—Same for me," she murmured, then smirked. "And honestly, if we were stuck on some island together, we would definitely survive. We'd never be bored."
You pulled back just enough to squint at her suspiciously. "Again with the sex jokes. I'm trying to have a moment here, Ellie."
"You love it," she teased, winking at the camera like she was hosting a late-night comedy show. "But seriously," she continued, getting a little more earnest, "I think we’d keep each other sane. Or, you know... drive each other insane. Either way, it’d be fun."
You laughed, leaning your head against her shoulder again.
"Besides," Ellie added with a shit-eating grin, flexing her arm dramatically, "you'd need my big strong arms to protect you from wild animals or whatever."
You pulled back, raising an eyebrow. "Define big."
Ellie clutched her chest like you’d just stabbed her. "You’re so mean to me on camera. They're gonna think you’re the top”
You snickered. "Oh my god."
Just as Ellie was about to ask another stupid hypothetical question, a loud beep echoed from the kitchen.
"Saved by the bell!" you gasped, practically throwing T-Rex off your lap meowing in betrayal as you and Ellie scrambled to your feet, your girlfriend rabbed the camera off the table with her free hand. "Alright guys, moment of truth. Will it be edible? Stay tuned."
You wobbled into the kitchen together like a two-headed creature from a sci-fi movie.
Somehow you managed to get the oven open without burning yourselves alive. Ellie used a kitchen towel to yank the tray out while you hovered next to her, uselessly gasping and flapping your free hand like that would help.
"Hot hot hot hot hot!" Ellie hissed as she placed the pizza down on the counter.
You both leaned over it, admiring your work.
"Honestly?" you said. "We ate this shit up."
"I wish you guys could smell it, it’s fucking heavenly." Ellie declared, giving the camera a dramatic chef's kiss.
You quickly sliced up the pizza using the pizza cutter, the two of you fighting over who was worse at it. Once you had two steaming slices on plates, you remembered the handcuffs and gave Ellie a mischievous look.
"Okay. We have to feed each other," you said, grabbing your slice with your dominant hand and holding it out toward her.
Ellie immediately cackled. "Cheers baby"
Still filming, you both counted down — "Three, two, one" — and tried to feed each other at the same time. Both of you missed by like three inches.
The pizza folded, the toppings slid around, and when you finally did get a bite into your mouth—
"AH FUCK, IT’S HOT!" you both yelled, flailing dramatically.
Ellie was fuming out of her mouth, nearly dropping her plate. "I think my taste buds just dissolved."
You fanned your mouth like that would help, eyes watering. "I can’t feel my tongue."
Eventually, once your mouths stopped being on fire, you both flopped onto the floor, handcuffed, eating pizza straight from the plate like it was a survival movie.
Ellie leaned into the camera with a dead serious face. "Let’s try again, I couldn’t taste anything other than lava"
You guys took another bite of the pizza (blowing it off a bit so it would be edible) and it was actually very tasty, the surprised look on each other’s faces said everything.
“This is so good I could orgasm right now” You said dramatically. “Just proving once again lesbians can do anything” Ellie added, proud of her work.
Between bites, Ellie looked at the camera, grease on her chin, and said, "We would could definitely make it to Masterchef"
"Absolutely" you agreed through a mouthful of cheese.
After a few minutes of shoving pizza into your faces, you both finally sat back up, looking absolutely wrecked — sauce stains, flour in your hair, and lipstick smears everywhere.
Ellie reached over and adjusted the camera a little, her fingers smudging the lens slightly. “Alright losers thanks for watching our video, it means a lot to us” You giggled, wiping your mouth on your sleeve. “But seriously, thank you for hanging out with us today, and for putting up with whatever this video was.”
“We love you guys so much, for real,” Ellie said, her voice a little softer now. She reached over and bumped your shoulder with hers. “Don’t forget to like and subscribe, you know leave a little comment and let us know if you like this type of videos or what would y’all like to see” You leaned into her, smiling. “And also thank you for sending in the craziest questions, you guys rock”
Ellie laughed under her breath and turned her head slightly, looking at you — her eyes all soft and melty despite the absolute war crime that was both your appearances.
Without thinking, you tilted your head too, closing the small gap between you.
Just as your lips brushed hers, you saw Ellie smirk against your mouth and suddenly lift her free hand to slap it over the camera lens — cutting the video feed to black mid-kiss.
The last thing the viewers heard before the screen went dark was the soft sound of you laughing against her lips and Ellie whispering, “So… about what you said earlier”
617 notes · View notes
teambyler · 3 days ago
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Teambyler: I'm gonna disappear when Season 5 comes out
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I will avoid the internet like the plague.
I will stop posting on Tumblr, or anywhere. I won't respond to messages.
People are already talking about how if there's a Byler kiss they'll change their PFPs to show it. I love us Bylers, you're all crazy in a good way, but I can't see any of that shit.
I HATE SPOILERS. Plus, as I promised in my big Byler video, I need to film my GENUINE FIRST reaction to each episode. PLUS, I need to give commentary to each episode and edit those reaction videos for YouTube. I won't be able to quickly do all that.
This is my plan:
Nov. 26: I watch the first episode. Over the next couple days I edit my reaction and post it on my Patreon. They'll be edited... I think a pure unedited reaction from ME will be too boring, as I pause frequently and double-back a lot. My Patreon videos will still have me react to the whole episode though. My public video will be substantially shorter than that. (You can't post a complete reaction on YT.) I'll do these as quickly as possible for each episode.
Dec. 1, 8, 15, 22: VOLUME ONE REACTIONS go up on YouTube.
Dec. 29, Jan. 5, 12: VOLUME TWO REACTIONS go up on YouTube.
Jan. 19: FINALE REACTION goes up on YouTube.
Also, because people will want to know specifically how *I* react to things and what I think about XYZ, I'll withhold from engaging with the fandom between November 26 and when that LAST reaction goes up on January 18. (I MIGHT share my thoughts on things that I already I publicly react to, though.)
So prepare for a "drought" from me!
I REALLY need to cut myself off for this to happen. If for some reason the media wants to talk to "that lawyer who made a Byler video" that in itself tells me too much! So I'll make sure to avoid being reached by them as well.
I can't even look at the dashboard of my own channel for a while. For example, if my Byler video suddenly gets a million views that tells me more than I want to know! =D Actually, I can't see ANY Byler video for a while because if any of them are hugely popular that tells me too much. Aaaaugh!
-teambyler
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marvelfilth · 1 year ago
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The Witches Trap
Part 2
Pairing: dark!Wanda Maximoff x f!reader
Warnings: ghosts, description of death, paranormal activity, gore, blood, a bit of horror ig, typical ghost hunting stuff, nothing too scary tho
Words: 5.5k
Summary: you go ghost hunting with Peter, Yelena and Kate. What could go wrong?
A/n: first time trying out some spooky stuff, so bear with me. Heavily inspired by Sam and Coby on YT.
Masterlist
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The way Yelena drives is far from smooth and sound, but she vehemently refuses to let Peter behind the wheel, so here you are, yelping and griping the sides of the driver's seat headrest like your life depends on it. You hiss when your head meets the roof, and Kate sends you another toothy smile from the front seat, her eyes flickering to look at Yelena every few minutes. You look to your right to check on Peter, but he is busy fumbling with equipment, his camera carefully stored away in a bag as he keeps checking the microphone.
You sigh and relax against the seat when the road finally smoothes out, and think about why you even agreed to this. Peter asked you to tag along for a new video for his YouTube channel, and by asked you mean begged you with his best puppy eyes and a bag of goodies in his hands. Apparently, if you agreed to go, Kate will go too. And if Kate goes, he won't even have to ask Yelena.
He was right.
So now the four of you are on the way to one of the most haunted places of America - Westview hotel.
"Are you sure this is the right way?" Yelena asks, turning her head left and right.
"Yes," Peter answers, glancing up for a second.
"Honestly, this is too creepy already," Kate mumbles, her eyes locked on the numerous dolls pinned to the trees surrounding the road.
"The owner probably made someone do that. No way they had this type of dolls back in the eighteenth century." You try to reassure Kate as much as yourself.
"Actually, the first doll like that was made-" Peter finally looks up with an excited glint in his eyes, and you immediately press your palm against his mouth, "No. I don't need to know that."
"Ha! Little Y/n is scared," Yelena laughs, but her laughter is cut short when a twig hits the side window, making her shriek like a maniac.
"This never happened," she grumbles when the laughter finally dies out.
Relaxing against the seat you try to remember everything Peter told you about this hotel.
It got notoriously famous in the late eighties, when a high schooler got possessed by a demon and later died in a psych ward. The room the girl stayed in was closed off for twenty years after that. You wonder if Peter managed to book it.
Another thing you remember is numerous sightings of a dark, cloaked figure appearing in most random places, whether it's a supply closet or a presidential suite. It always managed to scare the shit out of anyone who was unfortunate enough to catch its interest. You shudder at the mere thought of encountering that particular entity.
"We're here," Yelena cuts off the ignition, and leans against the wheel to take a look at the building.
Your breath catches in your throat the second your eyes land on the magnificent hotel. At seven stories high it stands proudly on a hill, overlooking the vast grounds. The facade is noticeably worn, but no less majestic - a blend of dark wood and stone, a balcony stretching along its entire length. A dark figure on the corner of the rooftop makes you squint, and you gasp when you realize it's a gargoyle, albeit a very rickety one. You make a note to yourself not to walk under it.
Yelena ushers you along, shuddering as she notices the stone figures. “The air here is kinda thick,” she mutters.
You nod, feeling your chest tighten. She's right - the air grows heavier with each step you take. You hope the hotel itself is ventilated enough.
When you finally step inside you take a deep breath, looking around the foyer and spotting who you presume is the owner.
"Welcome to Westview Hotel! My name's Agatha, I'm the owner of this happy little place and your guide for today. Hope you have the worst time of your life here!" Her voice is too cheerful for the late hours, and you cringe at the full on villainous laugh she lets out.
Peter goes to speak with the woman while the rest of you look around. Yelena plops on the loveseat, her backpack thrown on the carpeted floor near her feet, and Kate just stands beside you with her mouth hanging open - you're sure you're wearing a similar expression.
While the outside of the hotel looked somewhat old and weathered, the inside completely blows you away with its beauty. It's elegant, if a bit eerie, with a grand chandelier and high arches that make the space feel even bigger.
You frown, sensing someone's eyes on you, and notice Peter glancing in your direction every so often. You send him a questioning look, but he only shakes his head, his lips pressed together and his cheeks puffed.
"Do you think he's going to sacrifice one of us to that witch? Scarlet Witch, right?" Yelena muses.
"Yeah, but I don't think you're her type." Kate winks at the blonde.
You snicker at her annoyed expression, and stumble back, accidentally bumping into someone. You turn around, an apology on your tongue, only to choke on your words when you are met with an empty lobby.
Your friends stare at you quizzically, but Agatha seems to be lost in thought, her eyes trained on the space right above your shoulder, then she slightly shakes her head, her lips pressed in a tight line.
"Sorry. I thought I bumped into someone…" You trail off, your back burning, an eerie feeling settling in your stomach.
"Sure thing, buttercup." Agatha winks at you, her mood changed back to normal in an instant.
You shudder, looking back at your friends. Yelena whispers something in Kate's ear that causes the younger one to chuckle, and Peter has his camera pointed at you.
"We already got some paranoid activity ten minutes into the night," he blabbers behind the camera, motioning for you to explain what happened.
"Um... It felt like I bumped into someone?" Talking to a camera is weird, but you manage to explain what you felt. "... I think it was nothing though, just my nerves acting up." You force a chuckle, your eyes moving to meet Agatha's stare.
She moves closer to be in the frame, and tells everyone about how much the Scarlet Witch loves to mess with younger women, her favorite pastime in this hotel seems to be entertaining the ladies. However, her idea of entertainment slightly differs from yours, and you gulp when Agatha mentions her choking sleeping guests and locking them in elevators.
"This is going to be incredible, guys," Peter says to the camera, his excitement too contagious for you to worry about your safety.
×××
The next two hours are spent walking behind Agatha and listening to her stories about various tragic deaths that occured in this hotel over the past hundreds of years. She stops every ten minutes or so in front of different rooms, each story worse than the previous one, and you shudder when she tells you a story of a woman buried alive in one of the walls, Agatha's hand casually resting on said wall.
She is telling you another story about a guy that danced on a ledge to impress a girl and fell on one of the spikes in the lobby, when you suddenly feel a tug in your chest. You stop, checking to see if anyone else felt that. Kate is staring at the ledge with her mouth wide open, Peter's busy filming Agatha and butting in with commentary (much to Agatha's displeasure), and Yelena grips Kate's hand so hard, you are sure she couldn't possibly see anything other than the wall in front of her.
You exhale and look around, trying to spot anything interesting, even though you've been looking at the same set of stairs for the past ten minutes. Strangely enough, you notice a door that surely wasn't there before, because you would've noticed it right away if it was.
While every part of this hotel was renovated, this door looks like it belongs in the past, with heavy iron hinges and a weird looking handle. There are no signs on the door, nor any numbers or words, and when something tugs on your hand, you follow the feeling.
You walk almost in haze, your friends' voices blurred in the background, unfamiliar warmth surrounding you, your chest lighter than it ever was and your mind in a euphoric state. You turn the knob and it gives in, the door rattling loudly as you tug it open, but before you could even glimpse inside, a hand slaps harshly on the wood, the door closing with a loud creak.
You blink owlishly, warmth gone and your head suddenly clear, as you take in Agatha's furious expression.
"It says 'Employees only'," she hisses through gritted teeth, and you step away from the woman.
"No, it doesn't, there's noth-" you choke on your words when you look back at the door, because now it looks like every other door in the room, 'Employees only' written in bold.
You look back at Agatha and apologize, but it seems like she doesn't hear you, her brows furrowed and her eyes flickering between you and the door.
"Okay that's hella creepy," Kate breaks the silence, her unoccupied hand digging in a pocket of her jeans to present a cross. "God will protect us." She puts it around her neck, and nods to herself.
"You don't even believe in God." Yelena jams her in the ribs, not letting go of the brunette's hand.
"You really should," Agatha casually advises, tugging at your elbow to move you further away from the door, "follow me, I'm going to tell you the story of the Scarlet Witch."
You cast one last look at the door and follow her down the hall to the very last room, something warm pressing at the low of your back to lead you. Shuddering at the feeling, you wonder why it is only you who feels something weird. Kate keeps sending you worried looks, but, other than that, she seems okay with Yelena's hand pressed firmly into her side. Peter isn't fazed at all, excitingly recording everything in sight.
Exhaling, you try to relax. If something here wants to harm you it wouldn't use such a gentle approach.
Or maybe it's just luring you in.
When you finally stop in front of room number 208 you feel a poke in your ribs, Yelena nods her head for you to look at Agatha, and you confusedly look up. Apparently, she wants you to open the door. Gulping, you move forward, your hand reaching on its own accord. You turn the doorknob with some hesitation, your hand trembling slightly. When you're met with a sight of a regular hotel room, you let out a quiet breath.
The walls are painted an unassuming beige, with green and brown accents, the earth tones bringing a feeling of calm. The four poster bed is pushed against the farthest wall, with nightstands on either side, and you could already imagine how soft it would feel to sleep in it. But the only thing that truly gets your attention is a floor to ceiling window and a french door, which hopefully leads to a balcony you spotted from the outside.
Agatha walks past you into the room, resting her weight against the foot of the bed. "It was locked," her eyes seem to be glued to yours as she speaks, "second locked door you opened today. I find that… interesting."
You are aware of Peter's camera being shoved right in your face, you're aware of Kate's hand reassuringly clasping your own, aware of Yelena's calming presence, but you are focused on something else entirely. There is this feeling again, now familiar warmth taking root in your chest, almost singing to you. You briefly close your eyes, savoring the sensation, wishing you could feel more.
"This is our most active room," Agatha says, "last year some teenagers decided to use a Ouija board in here and it got even worse. So you're in for a wild ride."
"This is nuts," Kate says from the other side of the room, trailing her hand over the painting of a burning witch.
"Oh, this actually happened here," Agatha drawls, taking note of your surprised faces, "almost a hundred young alleged witches were burnt at the stake here, on these grounds…" Agatha continues on with the story, but your eyes are stuck on Kate, on the other side of the room, your body frozen in shock. You can still feel what you thought was Kate's hand on your own, but with her standing on the other side of the room, and Yelena looking at you like you've grown two heads, you decide it's enough.
"Can you tell them to stop?" you shriek, stepping further into the room.
The warm feeling in your chest intensifies, the ghost of a hand sliding up your arm to settle on your cheek, turning your head to look at the painting. It's so gentle, so soft, it makes you lean your head in search of more.
"Them?" Agatha's voice grounds you. "I believe there's only one witch who is interested in you."
"What's going on?" Kate asks, moving away from the painting. Panic starts to rise in your chest, making you struggle to breathe. "Y/n, are you okay?" Kate's by your side in an instant, hands rubbing your sides, and you lay your head on her shoulder, silently reminding yourself that no ghost can hurt you.
"I thought you were standing beside me, I felt you take my hand, but you were on the other side of the room," you whisper against her shoulder.
"No. We're going back home." Yelena pales and tugs at your elbow, smacking the back of Peter's head with her other arm. "Your idiotic idea is going to give her a heart attack," she hisses and leads you to the door, hurriedly turning the knob.
It doesn't turn.
"What the fuck." She tries to open it again, and again, and again, until Agatha gets pissed and yells at her for trying to break the door.
"If she wants you to stay, you'll stay." She places her palm on the wooden door, and gives everyone a stern look.
"Say the word and I'll break that door open." Peter reappears by your side, looking guilty as ever, his camera now hidden away.
You take a deep breath and look around, now feeling much safer with all of your friends (and Agatha) by your side. The room looks like no one has touched it in years, and the warm, calming feeling in your chest only intensified after your little break down.
Maybe the witch just wants some company.
You meet Peter's eyes and manage a smile. "I survived Yelena's driving, I'm sure I'll be fine after this."
"Are you sure?" Yelena and Peter ask you at the same time.
"Yes, guys, I'm fine. I'm just not used to it like you are," you smile at Peter, and he nods in understanding.
He spent his college years filming in haunted places, a little hobby turned into a full time job as his channel grew bigger and bigger. Usually he invites his friend Wade to film together, but this time he really wanted you to come.
"Glad we settled that. Now sit," Agatha commands.
You take a seat on the bed, Yelena and Kate immediately placing their arms around you. Peter settles in a comfortable looking chair by the window, and Agatha stays standing, clearing her throat before venturing into the story of the Scarlet Witch.
"I'm sure you know that being a redhead, green-eyed, and exceptionally smart young woman in the 17th century meant one thing."
"Barbecue," Yelena mumbles, earning a scathing glare from the older woman.
"Yes. But here's the thing - the Scarlet Witch was never burned at the stake, and not because she was so good at staying hidden, but because she has never had a physical presence in this world, at least one that we know of. There's no proof of her existence, no paintings and no pictures, no sightings either."
Yelena shifts beside you. "Then how do you even know-"
Agatha cuts her off with another scathing glare, before continuing on. "We know because every single one of these poor women cried out her name before their inevitable death. They begged her to save them, but she never did."
"That still doesn't-"
"For the love of god, just shut up and let me finish!" The older woman shrieks, throwing her hands in the air. Momentarily closing her eyes, she clenches her jaw. "She never saved any of these poor girls, feeding on their fear, anger and desperation. She enjoyed what was happening. Hell, she spurged it on, manipulating minds, changing people until they became unrecognizable, and after this hotel was built she took charge, driving owners and residents away, leading people to their inevitable death, and lately possessing unsuspecting women. All of those poor people had one thing to say - 'it was the Scarlet Witch'." She shifts on her feet, turning to look out the window. "Hundreds of years of terror, but there was one good thing she's done. There was a particularly nasty witch trial, the poor girl was accused of seducing a priest's daughter. Imagine the horrors she was bound to be faced with if they got their hands on her. They never did, she escaped their clutches, and every single man involved in the hunt on the girl was brutally murdered. The girl died of old age in the safety of her own home, forever protected by the magic of the Scarlet Witch." Suddenly, her eyes lock on yours. "There's no trace of the Scarlet Witch, but there's a painting of the woman she saved. I'd show it to you, but for you it'll be the same as looking in a mirror, so I'll save myself the trouble."
Peter suddenly sits up straighter, nodding along to Agatha's words.
Kate slides her hand away from your shoulders. "Don't want to make her jealous or anything," she whispers, looking around.
"Do you say this to everyone or..?" You hesitantly speak up.
Her eyes turn serious, causing a chill to run down your spine. "Oh no, buttercup, you're a spitting image of the only woman she deemed worthy enough to save."
"She's not lying," Peter says, "that's actually the reason why I asked you to come." He sends you a sheepish smile, and shows you a picture on his phone. It's an old painting, weathered by time, but undoubtedly beautiful.
The woman looks just like you.
You gulp, your heart hammering in your chest. "Well, I'm not her."
"Maybe not. It's not like it matters." Agatha mumbles, standing up, a faraway look in her eyes. "She must've had her reasons to save the poor girl, and I suspect they were far from noble. Be careful." She looks at you one last time before turning to Peter. "Well, it's been fun entertaining you, but it's nearing midnight, so I'll leave you to your ghost hunting, or whatever it is that you're doing." Her lips purse at the numerous cameras Peter's unloaded from his bag.
"Wait!" You jump up, stalling Agatha. "How do you even know about what happened at the trials? Is there some kind of document?" You're aware of the absurdity of your questions, after all you are the one who experienced all of the activity so far, and while some of it could be blamed on your nerves or your brain playing tricks on you, the door accident still burns at the back of your mind.
"You don't believe me?" Agatha smirks, making you shift uncomfortably. "Don't worry, you'll see, you have a long night ahead." She sends you one last look, and easily opens the door before disappearing behind it.
You fall back on the duvet, pressing your palms against your face. The past hour puts an uncomfortable weight on your chest, and you struggle to wrap your mind around the fact that you're probably going to be targeted even more as the night goes on, either by your terrified, overly anxious mind, or the Scarlet Witch.
The warm feeling you felt when you first stepped into the room slowly disappeared, leaving you to wonder if it's done its job in luring you in.
"Okay, it's time to-"
"We're not using a Ouija board."
"- light up some candles." Peter says, looking quizzically at Yelena. "I'm not stupid, you know." He huffs, rolling his eyes.
You snort, shaking your head at your friends' antics. "Why do we need candles?"
Peter rolls his eyes. "To communicate with ghosts."
"Don't you have some fancy tech for that?"
"I prefer to keep it simple," he shrugs.
You share a look with Yelena. "And we'll be left talking to the AC," you mumble loud enough for Peter to hear and send you a middle finger.
"There's no AC in this room. Some people use flashlights, but I prefer candles. We'll also use a spirit box."
"We're not catching any spirits in a box, right?" You sit up, eyes darting between your friends.
Peter sighs and goes on a rant about his tools, explaining how everything works. To your great relief, you won't have to catch anyone, just put on a blindfold, some noise canceling headphones, and let some spirit talk though one of you.
"Sounds fun," Kate gulps.
"I'm not doing that." You shake your head, crossing your arms.
Peter looks up from the floor, where he adjusts the rem pod, the piece of equipment going off when he touches it with a tip of his finger, calibrating the sensitivity. "Yelena will do that."
It's almost comical how far Yelena's jaw falls. "And why is that, Parker? Why don't you let some spirit use you as a radio?"
"Um… my tarot reader told me you'll do best out of all of us."
Kate starts cackling like a maniac, clutching her stomach and bending over. You can't help laughing either, burrowing your face into the pillow to keep quiet.
Yelena continues arguing with Peter, and you decide to leave them to it and satisfy your curiosity. You smile at the questioning smile Kate sends you, and gesture to the balcony door.
You were right, it is the balcony you saw from the outside, stretching all the way to the other side of the hotel. You sigh and lean against the railing, taking in the view. If you thought it looked terrifying on the way here, it looks even worse from high up. Moonlight shines on crooked trees surrounding the land around the hotel, dark and menacing, broken branches hanging on the last threads. There is a well within walking distance, not too far away from where you parked the car. You swear to yourself you won't let Peter drag you over there, it looks way too creepy.
You finally relax, letting your eyes fall shut for a second, but a blurry movement to your left forced them open. You grip the railing, squinting.
Nothing.
"What the fuck." Kate's voice sounds from the inside, and you rush back just in time to see her exit the adjoined bathroom, snapping the door shut with a terrified look on her face. "No. Oh fuck no. Oh no, no, no."
Peter sits up, alarmed. "What is it?"
"There's blood on the mirror," she whispers, her hands shaking violently, "and in the tub, and on the floor."
Peter immediately gets up, taking the only camera that's been filming the whole time with him. You follow your friend, not paying attention to your shaking hands and your hammering heart.
When the door opens you see a pristine bathroom, so clean it's almost mocking. He inspects every corner from every possible angle, only to come up short.
"Guys?" Kate calls out from behind the door. "Are you good?"
"There's nothing he-" you freeze mid sentence when your eyes land on the mirror.
It's fogged up, one word clearly written.
Your name.
You reach out - not of your own violation, your hand guided by some unseen force - and touch the reflective glass right where your name is. You're hit with a vision, bits and pieces of what feels like distant memory escaping the prison your mind put them in.
You see a wrinkled face of an old man, his expression pure disgust as he spews something right in your face. The scene changes abruptly, and now you're in a dark cell, with only the moon to keep you company. Your heart clenches at the pure anguish you're hit with, the desperation drowning you, leaving you no room to breathe. There's a sudden blur, and everything turns blinding white, and then… you feel that warmth again. A woman stands in front of you, reaching out, her eyes glinting red. She looks ethereal, her skin pale, almost sheer, her unruly hair pushed back by a red tiara. You gulp, feeling the power radiating from her, chest aching with the need to submit to it.
You stumble away from the mirror. There's no warmth in your chest now, only pure, unconcealed dread. You lean against the door, palms pressed to your face. Peter doesn't dare breathe, his hands only shaking slightly as he makes sure to get it in the frame.
"Where did you just go?" He whispers, not daring to speak any louder.
You shake your head, blinking back tears. "Tell me you did this. Tell me it's a prank."
He looks at you, eyes full of fear. He bites on his lower lip, eyes wide. "I did this. I totally did this." He nods rapidly, ushering you out of the room.
Kate and Yelena wait on the other side, each holding a candelabra. You don't even bother to ask where they found them, heading straight to the balcony for a breath of fresh air while Peter explains what happened.
You look at the full moon, rubbing your chest in tight circles.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Again, and again.
The floorboards of the balcony creak, along with the railing, and you wonder if it's all gonna fall to the ground, and bury you in a mess of wood and cement. Maybe that's what the witch wants - for you to stay here forever.
You feel the remains of that need, that hunger for the witch. You long to see her again, even if it's just a glimpse, a whiff of her presence.
When you come back, the lights are off, and Peter is already asking questions, Yelena's terrified expression telling you everything you need to know about the answers they've been provided with.
The candle on the nightstand goes out, and Peter blinks, looking at you. "Weird."
"What?" You ask, looking around, hair on the nape of your neck standing up.
"He asked the ghosts if they wanted us to leave." Kate answers.
"That means they do." Yelena points at the candle.
You shiver, a breeze from the balcony making you curl in on yourself, eyes flickering to every dark corner of the room, flinching whenever you see shadows from the moonlight that look a little too ominous.
Someone is watching you, you're sure. A part of you hopes it's her.
"And why is that weird?" You ask Peter, watching as he collects the candles. You sigh in relief, glad to have missed the conversation.
"I thought they liked us - you - at least," he mumbles.
"Maybe they want us gone so the witch can have some alone time with Y/n." Yelena's brows jump up and down suggestively, and you can't help, but laugh, some of the tension finally seeping away.
That is, until the last candle on the nightstand lights up again, completely on its own.
Peter staggers back, dropping the stack in his hands. "No fucking way," he whispers, "that never happened before."
He pulls back to check the camera, making sure it's still recording.
"That's a yes, right?" Kate gulps, looking at you with wide eyes. "She wants you wants you. It's not a coincidence."
You take a seat on the rocking chair in the corner and close your eyes, reminding yourself that nothing here could ever hurt you. It doesn't really work when you still feel eyes on you. Your hands tremble, and your legs feel too heavy to stand on. Every sound is amplified, your senses going into overdrive, so when a clock stops ticking, you immediately notice.
The clock reads 12:08, the hands still for a moment, before resuming their course.
You're slowly starting to wish you never agreed to come to this place.
Agatha's words ring in your head. What if the witch thinks you're that poor girl? That'll explain the witches' interest in you. Maybe she made you see those visions to help you remember.
But… What if it's not even her that's been following you? What if it's one of the dark entities Agatha told you about? The thought makes you even more uncomfortable - you'd prefer the Scarlet Witch to haunt you instead of some dark, trapped soul, no matter how absurd it sounds.
"Hey," Kate approaches you.
You blink, and offer her a hesitant smile. "Yeah?"
"Are you okay?" She bites on her lip, her hands on your knees.
You nod, and take her hands in yours. "I'm fine. Just a bit shaken up."
She sighs heavily, head falling to rest on your lap. "Same," she mumbles, "I feel like a prey."
You rub her shoulders, hoping to ease some of her tension. "We'll be out of here in the morning."
She looks up, smiling. "Actually, we're not sleeping here. Peter said we'll try to talk to them one last time and then go."
You hum, wondering why the information makes you feel worse. Shouldn't you be relieved to leave earlier?
"Okay, come here," Peter calls, putting noise canceling headphones on Yelena's head.
Kate jumps up, her eyes lightening up at the sight of Yelena sitting rigidly on the chair, a blindfold and headphones in place. "Oh, this is gonna be good," she smiles, settling in front of the blonde.
Peter looks at you. "I think you should ask the questions."
You nod, biting on the inside of your cheek. You think of something appropriate to ask - something that would reveal information without offending any of the spirits here.
"Are we here alone?" You ask, and everyone turns to look at Yelena, awaiting an answer.
Yelena's head bobs up and down, like she's listening to her favorite song, but you know for sure it's just white noise.
"Hello," Yelena says, smiling slightly.
Not alone, then.
You nod, and Peter gestures for you to continue.
"My name is Y/n, what is your name?"
It's quiet for a little while, occasional squeaks from the balcony making you jump up and look around.
When Yelena doesn't answer, Peter decides to speak up. "Did you follow us here from the lobby? Was it you-"
"Shut up," Yelena barks.
Kate stumbles back on the floor, and settles against the foot of the bed. "Oh fuck."
Peter takes a step back, raising his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. Sorry." He nods at you, urging you to continue.
"Do you not like him?" You ask.
"In… in the way…" her voice is unsure as she trails off.
"Peter's in the way? In the way of what?" Kate speaks up, looking at you.
"Deal," the blonde whispers, "owe."
Peter frowns. "You made a deal and you owe someone?"
Yelena purses her lips, tilting her head to the side like she can't quite figure out what is being said.
The bathroom door slowly creaks open.
"Are you in the bathroom?" Kate's voice shakes, and you take her hand, shuffling closer to the girl.
"Blood."
You exhale, looking at the open doorway with wide eyes.
Kate nods rapidly, her hand trembling. "There was a lot of blood. You scared the shit out of me."
Yelena chuckles, "Feed."
So whatever is here has been feeding on your fear.
"Who are you?" You ask again.
"You know," Yelena replies. "You all do."
"What's behind that door?" You have the strongest urge to go back there.
Yelena chuckles, shaking her head. “Go see for yourself.”
Light starts flickering, tears spring to your eyes, and you fight the urge to curl into a ball and cry. Yelena turns her head and sits up, leanings towards you.
"You forgot."
"Forgot about what?" You shudder, eyes darting between the door and Yelena.
"Our deal."
Peter darts to the other side of the room and snaps the door to the bathroom shut, his mouth set in a flat line. "We're leaving."
"She can't," Yelena singsongs.
"There's no deal. You're mistaken," Peter snaps, collecting the equipment.
"What deal?" You hesitantly ask.
Lightning strikes outside, a loud boom of thunder following. The painting of the burning witch falls.
"I own y-"
Peter tugs off the headphones, Yelena's mouth snaps shut. She tugs off the blindfold and blinks, brows set in confusion. "Are we gonna start any time soon?"
Kate groans, falling face first to the floor. "Fuck my life."
_______________________
Before you yell at me - yes, there will be a part two
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sungbites · 3 months ago
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LOVE AND SUBSCRIBE profiles ii.
we 7llin
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mark. 25, makes and produces his own music, started making videos when he was recording his album, you told him to continue to making them so he did, listens to anything you say, relatively close with everyone he knows, also an average frank ocean fan, obsessed with his gf, orange cat bf with u but black cat bf in public.
renjun. 25, art whore, a chronic hater but not when it comes to ynmark (that's his otp), actually the reason you and mark are together, chronically offline, types like an old man, doesn't like when hyuck trolls them all, easy person to talk to, loves ynmark but HATES other happy couples.
jeno. 24, loves his cats like they're his babies, homebody, ur average gym bro minus the toxicity, does not respond to the gc until a day later, works as a car detailer, obsessed with cl16 and lh44, often makes fun of hyuck for renjun hating him, dry texter, sarcasm final BOSS.
donghyuck. 24, studio assistant by day certified twitter troll by night, loves bothering everyone, marks rapper 'gf', works alongside mark in music, always on his phone, obsessed with renjun 1/2, hates couples through and through, has one sided beef with taerae, often lies.. like OFTEN, GAYmer but he sucks at gaming.
jaemin. 24, twt thirst trapper, loves his cats he birthed them, sort of the male equivalent of sofia except bi, obsessed with renjun 2/2, very lovable, hates strawberries like they're poison, cant stand yogurt either, also hates when hyuck trolls.
chenle. 23, dog dad to ONE ❤️, always gets homo allegations, INSTIGATOR, another rapper 'gf' of mark, loves yn tho, says that mark is out of yns league, also obsessed with steph curry, has a lot of hyperfixations, begs for mark to give him some clout, just here to love his daughter.
jisung. 23, fake emo, loves old rock music, can't stand couples but ynmark are his parents, works at the same bakery riku and chenle also work at, can't talk to anyone outside of the gc tho, social anxiety final boss, scared of riku lowk, also very scared of taerae, actually just scared of everything....
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prev | mlist | next
A/N ⋮ and for anyone wondering yes this smau is based off of marks album and yt channel... heheheh
TAGLIST 1 ⋮ @17ericas @sunghoonsgfreal @polarisjisung @cosmicwintr @chenlezip @remtrack @ayukas @ykvdani @snwydoie @hyuckluvr-com @honeyfever @sinisxtea @yutarot
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pettypiastri · 2 years ago
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gentle hands find tender hearts — lando norris
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lando norris x fem!reader summary - day 1 of testing leaves Lando sore and seeking comfort word count - 2.2k warnings - language, allusions to reader insecurity, otherwise none! note - first piece for f1, please be nice! basically just idiots in love but they're not in denial and are already dating. blame Lando's yt channel for the brainrot and info i've loosely based this on. drop by the inbox, would love to discuss all your thoughts about your fave vroom vroom boys (anons are on) 🤍 feedback always appreciated!
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Seeing the green verification light flash on the hotel room card reader might be the best thing Lando’s seen all day. Decidedly the best thing he’s seen since leaving you, a vision in his shirt, behind in the crisply air conditioned room, a sleepy smile on your face after he pressed a final kiss to your forehead. Which, notably, he’d only managed to find after a two-handed effort to sort through your messy hair swathing your face and neck. He’d traded all that in for the Bahrain humidity that’s somehow made itself a home in the aching in his head and the weight he still feels bearing on his neck. Seeing you now, just as pretty as this morning, he’s certain a ‘meh’ day 1 of pre-season testing did not make up for what he’d left behind at 6:45. Not even close.
You’re perched on the king sized bed, white hotel bedding bleached beyond identity, with a book in your hand and Lando wants to cry. Or maybe huff frustratedly. At the very least kiss you immediately. The smile you give Lando upon seeing his head of deflated curls peek around the wall, the one you always give him that reaches your eyes and consumes his soul, has his shoulders sagging. More than 100 laps and hours of data threaten to finally crush him as he drags himself toward you, items falling from his hands in time with his steps. Bucket hat, wallet, key card until it's just him, drained and pouty, eager to demand your comfort. Blindly you dog ear your page, cataloging his schlumpy movements. 
“What’s wrong gorgeous?” 
A resounding ‘oomph’ leaves your chest as your boyfriend falls against your frame. Strong hands reach under your hoodie seeking soft skin. Even though Lando’s been in the heat all day, it’s nothing like the toe curling, soul unfurling warmth you can provide. These days, he always seems to feel a chill in his chest when you’re not around. 
“Shit day,” he grumbles, fabric sticking to his parted lips as he snuggles against your chest. Overwhelming fondness makes your heart ache, a playful quip is briefly delayed. As a distraction, your hands gravitate to mirror his, wrapping around his broad shoulders and back. One comb of your fingers through his mangy curls has them frizzing up, tendrils reaching out to tickle your nose. 
“Oh, s’that all?” A sharp pinch between your ribs in retaliation has you tightening your grip in Lando’s hair. Your free flowing giggle encourages Lando to elaborate, his traitorous smile hidden against fabric. 
“ ‘M sore. Back, neck… pride.” On instinct, your hand in his hair dips to the natural resting place on the back of his neck. A pensive hum settles on his ears.
“Hmm… Well, suppose you’re lucky you’ve got a girlfriend then.” 
A truly minimal effort grumble of confusion is all you get in response. Lando, tired and grumpy, never fails to make you smile. It’s why, with great effort, you wiggle down the bed with him still on top of you, crumpling pillows and pulling up the bottom sheet in your wake, so you can be nose to nose with him. His beautiful baby blues, with a streak of exhaustion, a fleck of frustration, and a halo of tenderness, crack open to regard you. Droopy lids are held open by a combative fondness that overpowers the weight of unmet expectations. You kiss him languidly, a need to rush nowhere to be found. Despite your initiation, you part your lips easily for him letting him control the moment how he wants. Lando always kisses you like it's his last chance, in a way that makes you feel it from your stomach down to your toes. Sometimes you find yourself crossing your fingers that you make him feel the same. 
Upon breaking apart you coax him gently, “Lay on your stomach for me? Let me take care of you.”
And Lando resigns to let you. Happily. Defenselessly. Completely. Because you always take care of him. After Sochi, after Carlos left, whenever he loses sight of himself. Your unyielding arms are always ajar for him to crash into.
Lando proves to be absolutely no help as you try to shimmy his hoodie off him, his face pressed into one of four available pillows, arms curled above his head. Your level of struggle makes you giggle, then laugh from your chest, a whine of his name mixed in. Half a cheeky smile is visible from Lando as he peeks an eye open to regard you. He lifts one arm begrudgingly and then the other, allowing you to successfully free his torso.
Gently you lay the hoodie to your side and scan his lean back. You watch his shoulders flex as he shifts again to get fully comfortable, the dimples in his lower back popping in and out. His golden skin, a tan you watched bloom over a long offseason, calls for your careful touch. 
One of your thighs raises to straddle the backs of his, finding a comfortable position atop his legs. As if in anticipation of your tenderness, an adorable sigh whistles out through Lando’s nose. Moving just by instinct, your careful hands start at the small of his back, digging in just enough with your thumbs to coax the tension out. Briefly you wonder if the tiny hiss Lando lets out is one of appreciation or if hours in the air conditioned hotel room have left your extremities just on the wrong side of chilly. You’re reassured when a more full chested sigh escapes your boyfriend upon your hands reaching the apex of his shoulders in one long motion of your hands. The look of contentment is already beginning to set in on Lando’s striking face as you continue carefully in fluid, albeit improvised, movements. 
There is a stillness in the room that welcomes the almost inaudible efforts of your hands pushing into his muscles and grants permission for your mind to wander. A dull hum from the air conditioning unit aims to harmonize with Lando’s consistent sighs. On instinct you itch to trace a pattern between his birthmarks, taking a moment to appreciate even the smallest parts of him. 
As now warmed fingers detour from their ritualistic path up his back, you stop at one mole, marveling that it looks the exact same shade of brown as the coffee was on your second date. A cup of which had steamed up between your eyes as you glanced sheepishly over the porcelain rim at him, hoping he couldn’t see you staring. The waitress had led with ‘how cute a couple the two of you make’ before informing you it was closing time. Lando had not corrected her. Instead he’d offered you his jacket before walking you home. You’d kissed him before you even made it to your street. The tableau, illuminated by a dusty streetlamp, saw you pushing him back with a hand on his chest when you realized you wouldn’t be able to stop if you carried on a second longer. Lando had found it sickeningly endearing. 
Another birthmark on your course upwards is a bit lighter, more oval, something like the dirt track he had taken you to watch rallying at with his siblings last winter. You’d shared lip gloss with one of his sisters and been asked for advice on the boy problems of the other. Lando’s brother Oliver realized he didn't even have to ask how serious things were when he’d caught Lando staring at you when he thought no one was watching. Oliver had leant over to ask him a question, only to find Lando didn’t even know who the race leader was as he’d practically not taken his eyes off you. You, just existing. Eager eyes darting around attentively at the flurries of dirt before you, your hand on Lando’s wrist, spinning the bracelet his Nan gifted him with absentminded ease. Later he’d watched Lando take about 30 photos of you as you wandered the merch booths and food stands, all of which you were none the wiser to and Oliver knew you never would be. 
The birthmark just at the base of his neck is the one you noticed peeking out from his t-shirt late one warm night in Monaco. When your eyes yearned to fix on something stable. Something safe. Lando’s hand had reached back for yours as he lead you through the Monaco streets. You’d linked your pinky with his, too shy to feel the warmth of his whole hand in yours. He’d driven the two of you around in his Jolly, for once abiding by the speed postings; he was in no rush with you. You recall being envious of the wind ruffling his hair, wishing it was you instead. The hand he placed on your exposed thigh had you looking the opposite direction to hide your glowing cheeks.
Slowly, so as not to startle him, you scooch to sit over the center of Lando’s back, bringing his strong neck into an accessible range. Your thumbs dig into the sides, freestyling a way to massage such a random part of the body in such desperate need of TLC. His curls that you’ve worshiped, pulled on, and braided for the past years are welcomed into the special treatment with your fingers sliding against his scalp before beginning at the base of his neck again.
Lando had looked at you sideways when you’d once commented on his strong neck being one of your favorite features of his. Refusal to elaborate was betrayed by your full body flush and flitting eyes as he leaned over you, hands settling on the arms of the chair you were sat in. That was just last month; he still makes you nervous. 
Nervous in the way that makes your breath catch and your palms clam up. Nervousness akin more to anticipation than anything else; woven with glee and eagerness. Something like you feel right now, realizing you haven’t kissed him in 15 minutes and your hands are starting to cramp. Leaning down, you press a peck to his exposed cheek, Lando’s cologne filling your nose. For someone you thought was asleep, his eye cracks open the instant your lips part from his skin. 
Lando regards you for just a moment before, with much difficulty given his current position and slight delirium, moving to wrangle you so you’re lying down chest to chest with him. One of his arms drapes over your neck, hand planted behind your head, creating a little bubble made just for your heads. Something unrupturable and uninterrupted where he can stare at you without needing a reason.
The eyes you’re met with are droopy, full of contentment, and overflowing with affection. It’s a look that you used to think you’d never receive from someone else. But Lando’s never been afraid to be loud with his love. It took some time, some proof of dedication from him that the beaming smile and honest eyes were not a fluke, for you to bloom. Now when you’re with him, you don’t care who’s looking. You love who you are in his company, how unafraid to occupy space you become. It draws you to place your hand on his stubbled cheek (that you will not stop teasing him about) and stroke your thumb slowly over his skin. On instinct Lando nuzzles closer, so eager to be doted on by you. His lips find yours in an intimate kiss. 
“Thank you baby,” he murmurs, words meant just for you, so soft they would’ve been mistaken for a flicker of the moonlight had you not been paying attention. 
You assume he means for the massage. He assumes you know it’s for everything else: all the support and love and devotion you show him. It’s bliss with you. Lando had gotten over trying to fight against the never-ending spiral of longing, lust, and love in every moment, word, and movement with you, a long time ago. Now he welcomes drowning in your smile and voice and touch. He yearns for the overwhelming clench in his chest and weightlessness of his body. He’s given himself over completely to you in hopes of his demise at the sight of your warm eyes and the way you say his name.
Lando finds his heart squeezing again just from looking at you, curled against him in a random Hilton somewhere in the Middle East. The only remedy, the only distraction is to kiss you again, gently but full of meaning. It makes you blush, afire under his adoring gaze, feeling so safe but exposed, heart bared fully to him. 
In the sacred hush of your hotel room you scoot just a fraction until your nose skims his, eyes fluttering closed. Upturned lips brush against yours involuntarily. 
A deep exhale leaves Lando’s nose, tickling the peach fuzz of your upper lip. It conveys total peace and comfort. It says somehow, this is all he needs. This is how life looks for him when his mind wanders to years his senior. Maybe there’s more noise around your little bubble, more feet, decidedly smaller than the both of yours, leaving prints on your hearts. But you and him together like this? It’s constant, transcendent of location or hardship or outside noise. You and him together like this, with 'I love you's' as the night's lullaby, is not just enough, it’s everything.
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meanbossart · 1 month ago
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How did you learnd to make comics? It was more a intuitive process or did you had a method to it at the start? Any recomendations (books, yt channels)? Cheers and hugs! I love your artstlyle so much, it brightens my day see it on my dash :)
Hello and thank you for the sweet words!
I did the finals (rework+ink+sometimes colors) for my partner's @barbatusart comics for a long time, and I half base myself off of his pacing and half intuited my "style" as far as page composition and paneling goes. I actually haven't read many comics and base myself a lot off of film, which is considered pretty egregious in the industry - which is to say, I'm not sure anyone should be getting advice from me as far as that goes. Anywho, that's how I like to read them, so that's how I make them.
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ghoulinfuschia · 2 months ago
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Hey, so I get not wanting to engage with the MD community after that, but this is NOT most of the community. There are around 3 guys who do this, and the rest of us literally hate them, and they do this INTENTIONALLY because they also hate the rest of us. And the problem is, if you DO give up on MD projects, then that hands a win to them, and encourages them to keep harassing people. One of them even put up a post on their YT channel, CELEBRATING that you had stopped work on MD projects, and actively calling for more harassment for other creators because of it. I would implore you to PLEASE continue making MD projects. Don't let the bullies see that bullying gets a rise out of you, they will ONLY keep going further. These are not 'people', they are basically demons and letting them stop you from doing anything is just feeding them.
http://youtube.com/post/Ugkxll_x-BP3bHPxIlGgdexKgQ4xqt3wbA7v?si=2KH6dTbDNeNuljkX
Thank you for your kindness and encouragement, from you and everyone else. I appreciate how much people care about the things I make. Unfortunately, however, my leave was already planned back in January 2025. This decision wasn’t solely made because of this person’s comment. Rather, that just ended up being the final nail in the coffin. After Intermission I already felt burnt out on MD and I was ready to move on, but I had Catalyst’s script finished and I wanted so badly to work on something with friends.
I decided I would stay longer just for the sake of completing this project with my team who now makes me so so so happy. While I am tired, I don’t regret my decision to pursue this. Catalyst has brought me so much joy in a time where I’ve been struggling with unemployment and fear for what my future looks like. I can’t stress enough how much I care for them. I’ve made new friends and my irl gang has met my online gang. It’s been a wonderful experience. After this is done though, I’m ready to pursue my own stories.
Also I never disclosed this since I didn’t want to bring attention to it, but this sort of vitriol has become normal for me. I’ve been sent death threats and comments that are attacks on my character. Critique of my work is something I can handle. I actually always seek out constructive criticism on the things I make because how else am I supposed to grow if I don’t know my weaknesses. Comments telling me to kms and insults? They start to weigh on you the more you get them.
This is the internet. I’ve been here for over a decade. As long as I’m here I know there will always be a chance someone throws words like those at me. The only thing I can do to combat it if ignoring doesn’t work is to walk away.
I hope you all will continue to support me and my work, though. I will do my best for you.
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neptuii · 3 months ago
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FIRST PLAYLIST!!
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Hello! I'm beyond happy to announce that the Theseus' Guide Stanford Playlist is FINALLY UP ON MY YT CHANNEL!! Click here to check it out!! All the information is in the description so make sure to read it! It took me a LOT of effort to pull through this project so I am hoping it will get at least 10 views ^^' Feel free to leave a like and a comment- I'm looking foward to seeing your opinions :]
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drunkkenobi · 6 months ago
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Here it is, the final Watcher viewcounts post I plan to make.
While Watcher is staying on YouTube, with a portion of their audience watching their videos only on WatcherTV (like me), tracking viewcounts no longer feels like it’s something that is worth keeping up with week to week like I’ve been doing for the past five (!) years. Also, at this point, there are less things to be learned from this kind of weekly stat-keeping and I am a bit worn-out about it. I don’t take every video’s numbers every week or anything, but it’s still a bit of a chore, especially now that I’m at a job where it’s a bit harder to do every Monday.
Here is a hodgepodge of information I’ve gleaned from doing this:
I would say that views are a bit down since the WatcherTV announcement, but first of all, lots of people (myself included) do not watch them on YouTube at all anymore but still watch them on the streamer, so that has to account for some of that loss. Of course, people deciding they hated Watcher would also account for some of it, but it’s really not a dire fall-off or anything especially for Ghost Files.
The only thing that really did quite badly on YT after the streamer announcement was Weird and/or Wonderful World, which is distressing to me on every single level. That show is so good and you can tell it meant so much to them to make something so joyful after the mess that was April 2024. I hope that the streamer means it can continue to return, even if it’s not every year.
Steven’s food videos behaved completely differently than everything else on the Watcher channel. If that’s because they starred Steven or because they were food videos, I can’t say, but they were often the only videos that could really gain steam weeks after release. The Shane&Ryan videos pretty much always peaked the first week, maybe the first two weeks, but that has never been a guarantee with the food videos. Even just this year, the spicy food episode of Travel Season jumped around 400k views in its 4th week.
Knowing this, the revelation that Watcher is going to create a separate YouTube channel for their food videos (starring Steven and Andrew) does not surprise me in the slightest. There’s obviously something different about the Almighty Algorithm when it comes to food and cooking (which is probably why Buzzfeed had like 3 different food channels) so I’m all for them taking advantage of that. (and hopefully keeping Steven safe from nasty assholes)
I will probably keep an eye on that channel tbh, but not in the same way I did for Watcher proper. We’ll see.
The highest viewed video on Watcher’s YouTube is Ghost Files: Waverly Hills with 8.9 million views
Ironically, the video that got the best opening weekend ever was their Goodbye Youtube video with 1.728 million views by Monday morning.
Watcher lost around 100k subscribers during The Discourse this past spring but they are back up and beyond that now. As of today, January 6, 2025, they have 2.89 million subs and 450 videos.
The total views is 469,381,807. The average view per video is 1,043,070. (I assume this includes all the “shorts” as well, for whatever that’s worth)
I don’t have to do the math to tell you that Ghost Files has the highest average viewcount. It’s by far been the most consistent show for them. The least consistent is probably still Top 5 Beatdown, which does still have the distinction of being the first Watcher video to hit 1 million views. (Top 5 Fast Food Chains)
Alright, I think that’s it! If anyone has any questions, please let me know! It’s been fun keeping track of this for the past five years and I really only kept up with it for so long because of the support from y’all here on tumblr, so thank you all for reading!
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coffeegnomee · 7 months ago
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Ooooo you wanna tell me about PrinceZam and Lifesteal lore soo bad 👀👀 (I just started s6 and I'm super interested in it lolol)
Just started season 6. oh me oh my. welcome. I wrote a summary a while ago for s3-5, here it is below.
updated to add the eclipse arc too since i glossed over it last time. and added s6 up to october. 8.5k words.
I didn't hold back on any plot twist/spoilers but like, knowing what happened is very very different from watching it unfold so all videos and vods are well worth watching. but this can give a waypoint as many videos are published months (or years) after the events.
s3 zam made an empire to keep spawn from being grieffed, everyone opposed it because he called it the PrinceZam Empire, they killed him, and he agreed to be executed and banned by Red. He came back for the finale in which vitalasy wanted to revive everyone but then banned himself (or got banned i forget) and keeping everyone unbanned became Zam's job(TM) and he resolved to never give up. After 5 (or so) bases in one week that Spoke leaked every time bc he was secretly still teamed with clownpierce, spoke did a dramatic dialogue with Zam on a hill, "why are you trying to save a world people are actively trying to leave". There was a big war which ended in Zam having another dialogue with Spoke where Zam attacked spoke with a stone ax until spoke continually killed him until he was banned. Spoke got him to give up, spoke won. It was awesome. You can watch Zam's vid on it "i was banned for saving this smp" or the finale streams, both are great recap of s3. (both the spoke dialogues happened in the same vod, it's a really easy watch)
s3 was the best season for yt vids imo, i particularly love clown and branzy's videos on the funhouse, casino, cleansing, and finale vids and if you just watch that you get everything. Everyone had good videos if you start searching channels.
s4 ends with the wormhole, a game breaking glitch that Spoke Vi and Ash found (also Subz was there) and used to completely destroy the server. Before all that the server runs as normal, starting slow with the youtube arc where everyone is making their silly random youtube videos. Zam initially wants to go solo but the joins Team Awesome which is commonly just him Mapicc and Ro but also Spoke and Terrain (iirc). There are many fun shenanigans. a spawn prison, the medusa arc. Around the mid season Team Awesome finds a dupe glitch. They dupe endless gear, god apples, and hearts and get into fights where Mapicc and Zam fight together constantly. this is The Dupe War. There are videos on it, but no streams. It ends with them withering the entirety of spawn, completely annihilating it (there's more to the arc but that is important)
During dupe war Zam and Mapicc thought Spoke was betraying them by orchestrating it with Parrot, turns out it was just Spoke who was orchestrating Everything because part of the wormhole glitch required Spoke to socially engineer Parrot into clicking a sign that would give Ash creative mode. When Ash got creative he loaded his hotbar and the Wormhole Barrel(TM) was brought into the game.
That same day Ash started showing the server the exploits (changing the course of the season DRAMATICALLY). Everything that was going on between the dupe war and this moment got put on pause.
What is everything? Well after the Dupe war Mapicc and Ro were planning on keeping duped items in a stash so they would never have to worry about items. Zam realized he Hated That(TM) bc exploits are unfair. So he left the team dramatically, fought them on the nether roof, and perished fantastically. He then retreated to his sanctuary where he built a castle.
Mapicc finds him at that castle the next day and filled with rage at zam betraying him begins The Castle Arc, fantastic arc, well worth watching as vods on Zam's channel. it's the vod after "the end of team awesome" which is also a great vod. Mapicc torments Zam nearly daily while Zam was also repairing spawn with Subz. Subz, as the finale of his spawn cleanup fights Mapicc and Ro who have become the bbegs of the week, he gets exiled. Zam grows a backbone and ALSO fights them, also looses, and then proceeds to die to Ro 13 more times. This is the Stone Sword Incident.
Left on 2 hearts he does a stream with Clown and Branzy which gets him banned by Mapicc because he had paid Clown one heart to be his protection. So Mapicc thought he still had two. they revive zam and he is left on 3 hearts (or was it 1? I forget. mapicc might've taken two of them back after revival) he turns to his only ally on the server, the only person who came and defended him from mapicc during the castle arc: ItzSubz_.
Subz invited him to his team, the Eclipse Federation. What transpires after here is the most beloved arc in all of lifesteal history, from a fandom perspective. I wrote a whole writeup on why it works so well from a story telling perspective that's one of my first posts on my blog. you can use the #gnome rambles tag to find it easier.
What started as a team, protection, safety from Mapicc, two allies who would come on to fight Mapicc and anyone else whom he got to fight on his side (though subz was more active than vi) turned into a nightmare.
After Ash leaked the wormhole items vi and subz quickly dmed him to meet at the base. Vi (iirc) told him to stop stream and delete the vod, which zam did. Unbeknownst to him, subz accidentally hit go live instead of start recording and for the less than 10 minutes he was live, he and vi implicated themselves as the originators of the wormhole glitch. The secret was out.
By the time they made it to the base to meet with zam they decided to tell zam everything, letting him know that they wanted it to have been a good surprise, something exciting that they could all do together. Vi promised that there was a plan for the items, an arc that he wanted to make happen that he had been planning since the very start of the season. I forget exactly how much they told him, but it was not everything.
Faced with Vi's season long plan, and still not knowing What the plan was, only that it was good, zam agreed to go along with it, trusting subz and vi that they knew what they were doing.
Zam, beyond all reason, had found himself on the very team that was behind the new exploit after just having left Team Awesome over exploits.
He asked if chat could know the plan, and vi and subz both agreed they wanted to keep it secret but that zam could ask off stream. Zam being Zam, could never hide something that huge from chat, didn't want to hide something that huge from chat. So he decided to not know, placing all his trust that Vi would tell him what he needed to know and that everything would be okay.
The doom lifted, for a brief time everything was okay again. But soon enough Vi was ready to start phase 1: a bedrock prison at spawn for the tyrants of the server. Zam didn't like that their team would have the power to imprison people, and he didnt like it was bedrock. He tried to communicate that, and vi and subz both assured him they would only put people in that the server as a whole agreed needed to go in. That helped zam for a short time. i dont remember all the meetings super well, but there were many. one time vi told zam they had "amplified" the glitch. another he said they had a bedrock farm in the end. vi was desperate to keep zam on the team because he loved zam and enjoyed his presence and didnt want the team to fall apart. zam at one point committed fully to the plan and killed himself in a hole to show his commitment (vi also jumped down and also died). the next day they made the prison and the day after zam regretted building out of bedrock. he hated exploits. nothing could shake him from the deep-set hatred that this was unfair for the server. he didnt want to ruin vi's plan, but he didn't know if he could continue supporting it.
around and around he went. changing his thoughts based on what vi said, changing based on subz, changing based on chat, changing based on vi. Feeling trapped, seeing no hope in being understood he roamed the server in despair. filled with the weight that the exploits would get worse in phases 2-5 he shouldered the burden without being able to tell anyone.
Beyond anything else he felt completely indebted to subz and loved subz more than anyone. subz had fought for him and protected him from mapicc, he had taken him in and given him hearts and gear to get back on his feet, he was always there ready to log on and help zam fight or save him when jumped.
Around this time there were many conversations with bacon and planet. They had seen some of the exploits, spoke was leaking them slowly since the prison was built, spawning a warden and endermite that could one tap players, using potions that gave you all the effects in the game. pvp was a thing of the past.
Bacon and Planet were investigating, trying to figure out who was pulling the strings and where the plot might go. Pretty quickly they figured out zam knew a lot, but zam wouldn't tell.
When Vi made the prison, they interviewed him, and planet got so upset that all this plot looked to be was a prison that could be used, not even would be used that he immediately started talking to bacon about getting zam to leave eclipse. he had previously been a proponent of zam sticking it out because being in the thick of content is always good on this server even if you don't love the methods. Zam was ready to leave the team but he was wracked with guilt and the fear of being alone again just like he was after betraying team awesome. they invited him to their team if he left, but he was still hesitant. he cared about subz too much to leave.
A few days later zam one again invited Branzy on, knowing that the next day he would have to make a decision about being on eclipse. There was a meeting scheduled about the next phase tomorrow. Spoke turned branzy into a dolphin with a potion and after the shenanigans, zam asked branzy for advice about what he should do. it's one of my favorite stream moments from s4, branzy approaches the lore with great seriousness and helps zam work through his thoughts to figure out what he wants to do. zam doesn't quite make a decision but has many talking points for the meeting, equipped with new metaphors to explain how he's feeling and how he needs vi to promise change, not just do little things that don't mean anything in the big picture.
At the end of the conversation planet joins call and starts asking zam innocent questions. he finds out about the book that vi once showed zam that had the whole wormhole plan, zam says it's in one of the bases, but not which, and he ends stream soon after. But once stream ends he gets curious to reread what vi wrote so he journeys to the base. Upon arrival though he realizes planet and bacon are both in the area. He sees them through the wall and walks into a room he has never seen before filled with barrels. planet and bacon drag him into a call and show him that the room is filled with every exploit and more, things they hadn't seen yet.
Seeing the extent of where the wormhole would go, and supported (or influenced depending on how you look at it) by planet and bacon, zam finally commits to leaving eclipse. he can't be part of this. this is too much. these exploits are far far worse than anything team awesome did.
So the next day he makes his traitor's requiem. He confronts vi, bacon planet and jaron come through the end portal invis and they kill vi, marking zam's departure from the team. Vi is furious zam didn't come to them, that he would betray so callously and kill him so instantly. Subz resignedly accepts that zam never was going to be able to be a part of the team, he was too against exploits.
Wracked with the pain of betrayal and loosing the person he loved deeply even though he had lied to him, Vi started to embrace the wormhole powers. Through a different glitch he was able to fly in survival, and with the one tap potions he tormented planet in the prison, killing him over and over and giving the heart back. but he insisted that he was not going to use the powers to become evil.
over the next days vi would roam the server using exploits, a ghost on the wind debating what to do with his infinite power. bacon and planet and zam got him in a call to talk about how vi was being a villain and they wanted him to give up the exploits. vi refused to see what they were saying.
but then spoke, lead by parrot and mapicc and ro, took a power play and tried chunk banning vi to end the evil on the server. parrot leaked the plan to vi and vi got out, but once again vi was facing the ridicule of the server for something that he wasn't even wanting to be.
So vi gave up the exploits. summoned the whole server to himself and burned all the items in his echest. but the server didnt believe him for a second. they were convinced he had more exploits hidden in the world. they were convinced he was the villain and were angry he wasn't just doing things with it.
but vi was done. spoke (iirc) killed him and after leaving call vi found himself atop the prison, gazing down at the server he loved, the server that hated him. it was over. he threw himself from its height over and over until he was banned.
after the ban, zam was left listless. he had betrayed eclipse because he feared they would be evil, but vi just banned himself off, sealing into the story that he would not be the villain. he couldn't talk to subz, he was too ashamed. so he became a farmer and lived inside subz's floating islands at spawn.
but one day while he was on subz revived vitalasy. zam wasn't invited but he busied himself at his farm, hoping his old teammates might want to talk to him. But something far far worse was about to happen. a ban message rang through chat. subz was killed by vitalasy. subz left the game.
his world shattered. The one person he cared about was gone. gone and he couldn't even talk to him. couldn't tell him how much he regretted betraying them. he needed to revive subz. right. now. he got vi into a call, a bottle of sunshine, sure it was just a mistake, sure subz was not really gone.
But vi was crying. he didn't explain it all to zam, but subz had brought him back on the server to tour him around their bases. filled with grief vi dragged his feet from location to location. eventually subz brought him to his newest base, and in the corner he could see a room filled with signs spelling out depression. lost, alone, a failed team that he had brought together, now split apart. vi immediately realized what subz was about to do. subz brought him to the end and revealed his masterpiece base, and then told vi to kill him. he wasn't capable of reuniting the team while he was alive, maybe in death vi and zam could reconcile. He was determined to have vi kill him. vi refused for an hour until he finally got subz to promise to return when he needed him most. And he banned him.
vi had zam meet him in the end and faced with that innocent smiling idiot's face, vi had almost no words. subz had left him a book telling him his final wish was for them to reconcile and vi begrudgingly decided to let zam in. he showed zam the end base. zam apologized instantly, wanting nothing more than for everything to be all right. but his focus was completely on reviving subz, almost ignoring vi in his desperation to get subz back. two lost birds.
vi explained that subz wanted to be gone and even if they revived him he wouldn't come back. they agree to be teammed again, and i think it's this zam vod or the next time he talks to vi, but within 30 minutes he's regretting saying yes to everything and wondering if it was the wrong thing to reconcile and get back together with vi. so. still good old princezam.
but it was done. they were reconciled. as the wormhole approached zam reconciled with everyone he had wronged.
but he forgot about pangi. in the wake of vi banning himself zam no longer wanted to do a "trap the gods" idea with pangi since the exploits were over. time and again this season zam had preferred his own plan over pangi's and often fought against him even though the two were friends. even though pangi was always there to help zam with his plans. frustrated at being snubbed, pangi took zam through the course they had made together, ending with the void trap they were going to use to lock the exploiters under the bedrock.
zam jumped in willingly, having taken off all his gear so as to not loose it in the void, but pangi had repaired the bedrock with the bedrock they had stolen from ash. pangi gave a great villain speech and trapped zam in bedrock. zam accepted his fate. so full of regret for all his action this season, this was nothing compared to what he felt he deserved.
And zam broke. he entered his mind and confronted all his past selves. his eclipse self tells him he cant just give up and abandon vi again, not after everything. zam thinks he has hurt vi too much to ever be forgiven. his team awesome (i think) self tells him he should just give up and destroy the server instead of wallowing in self pity.
he kills himself with a water bucket (ooc pangi had dropped it to him so he could get out) and decides to talk to both vi and spoke to figure out what side of the wormhole he would be on. vi isn't available. so he speaks to spoke first.
he meets spoke on a hill just like in s3, and asks to join him in ending the server. spoke reveals that he has not just all the exploits, but op. he gives zam creative mode, shows him custom items he coded, transports a whole chunk of the overworld to the end, gets in a console battle with parrot's admin account and wins. spoke is in complete control of the server.
mapicc was already on spoke's side and so once again devotions are together, fighting side by side just like on team awesome.
zam talks to vi next and iirc doesn't tell him he's already joined spoke, he's aware he has a team secret to keep and either way vi says he doesn't have plans for the finale. i actually dont remember when vi finds out zam is on the wormhole side.
over the next week spoke does prep events for the wormhole, involving inactive server members, mapicc and zam corrupt the world (grass to netherack, wood to basalt) with boots spoke coded for them. devotions wonder if spoke will betray them, they dont like that they're just minions and not equals, spoke isnt giving them actual power, just toys and tricks. they promise to end the server together no matter what happens.
the night before the end zam wonders if he's making the wrong decision again, the chatters fan the flames and he works himself up into second guessing everything. spoke might betray him. planet has found out he's on spokes side and hates him. he's messing everything up again. he was so against exploits and now he put himself on the exploit team.
suddenly he realizes chat is the problem. he's trying to make everyone happy, even chat, and he needs to just decide to do what he thinks he should do. and he decides that he wants to end the server as fast as possible so that subz can return in s4. because it's always been about subz.
the day of the wormhole arrives and about 100 other mcyts join the server to kill parrot, planet, bacon, and jaron. earlier spoke had said if they can survive the wormhole he will give up the exploits and they can save the server before ending it. over the next 48 hours they play a protect the president event.
vi revives subz the first day and suddenly zam is faced with the object of his desires back on this server. they have a final terribly tragic conversation where subz is disappointed in zam for joining spoke, zam cant defend himself because he agrees with subz, vi joins and chews zam out for betraying and tells him if he didn't want to play he should have just logged off. vi and subz are on parrot's side and killing people with leftover exploits vi still had. they leave, and zam even more dejected than ever.
planet decides to live the whole event at 3 hearts despite parrot having gathered 100 over the season. right at the end spoke asks both sides for items to ban and eventually hearts get banned, so planet is stuck at 3. in the final moments he almost gets banned but minute (as a guest) has planet kill him to get a heart again (minute's video on the wormhole was actually really good btw), but mapicc catches up to planet and bans him in the last 10 seconds of the event.
spoke, because the players fought so hard, brings everyone to the control room telling them they can choose to save the server or end it. while the server discusses mapicc and zam message each other and decide to jump in both options at once so that the server has to end. there's a final conversation on the grass where vi says this was the ending he wanted.
the long and complicated season is over.
s5 starts slow, Zam is very much done with being the main character and not much happens for about like 5 months. zam takes a full 3 month break from streaming, but when he returns in january he joins Mapicc and Bacon and they invite Jumper and Pentar to make the Abyss. they start breaking bedrock at spawn and getting players to fall into the void. its a fun and long and shenanigan filled arc that takes a deep turn as themes of players leaving the server start setting in. This season rek left before it started and parrot, poafa, mid, subz, and vi all leave mid way through. lifesteal feels like it's crumbling.
After days of fighting, planet gets zam into a call and asks him why the abyss is doing all of this. zam mentions mulitple things but lands on player activity. planet walks to the void hole and says "if the goal is player activity then, in a way i guess you lost" and then jumps into the void. the ban sound pierces the air announcing planet having been on one heart that whole time.
The abyss is mortified. They did like their idea of player activity but planet was right, just killing memebers made them give up. so they concoct a new plan, a week long scavenger hunt for the rest of the server to complete: if they finish the Abyss will stop voiding all of spawn, if they dont spawn will be destroyed. Minute heads up the opposition in the Foundation.
for multiple 9-12 hour streams zam labors at building the freakinator to destroy 5 layers of bedrock. mapicc joins him most often, usually just sitting in call to keep him company but being there nonetheless. Jumper and Pentar start helping more once the scavenger hunt really starts while bacon joins call to work on the clues. many fun hours of banter and laughter fill the air.
jumper pentar and mapicc take valorant breaks much to zams embitterment. jumper accidentally gets pentar to fall into the void with multiple skulkers of pistons, enraging zam. zam and jumper both are filled with excitement at the future making all of spawn into parkour civilization.
the whole arc zam has to face the concept that he cares more about this project than anyone else on the team, even though the abyss wasn't originally his idea. he has to fight constantly to battle the bitter voices that tell him they don't care about him and are bad teammates. only mapicc stays in the positive light. everyone else drains resources and falls into the void with the pistons he spent hours crafting.
As the scavenger hunt continues (oh day one of the scavenger hunt wemmbu demands 50 hearts or he will orbital strike spawn. foundation and abyss join together to unite the server in stopping him. spoke leaks the orbital coords he got bc he is owner to ash and the foundation take the win at being the one to destroy the canon and spawn trap wemmbu to 2 hearts. though the shot still went off and a large portion of spawn got destroyed despite the server trying to waterlog everything)
the foundation runs through clues faster than the abyss thought they would, so bacon adds some extra steps at the end. minute gets frustrated and decides to log on before the final session starts to try and finish the hunt. zam is planning on breaking the first bedrock to void at 3pm and minute wants to beat him to it.
despite everything, in a mad rush right at the end, the foundation gets the final clue at 2:55pm. they are to give the abyss one task of their choosing. they are in control. they decide the abyss members should die to the void once and never break bedrock again. The players jumped into the void.
But what nobody saw coming, or none dared imagine even when there were signs, was Jumper was secretly on the Foundation's side and leaked the scavenger hunt answers whenever the Foundation got stuck.
All the work, all those pistons, stopped in an instant. The betrayal was one of the most insane things to happen on lifesteal ever. three months of deep cover. actively helping the team. dreaming of parkour civilization together. multiple trust tests and steadfast dedication promised. all lies.
Mapicc immediately tries to kill her, Zam helps but both give up as Minute defends Jumper and both fight them back. There is no resolution to the betrayal. (Clown's video of this arc covers the whole Foundation side and is great)
Mapicc vows to destroy her life, Bacon agrees, Zam is down with it. Leaving Pentar to have the difficult choice: stay on the team and destroy the only member he knew before joining the server, or leave. He leaves. Later he joins Jumper and Minute as a team
Mapicc and Zam try fighting Minute and Jumper over and over but fail again and again.
The Presidency Arc begins, the server elects one person to get legal exploits basically: changing three things about the server. 4C and Reddoons together win, disappointing Mapicc and Zam greatly as red and 4c were extremely inactive and only wanted CaptainSparklez on for one event, removed the heart recipe, and had a third thing so forgettable i dont remember it and it didnt happen.
Basically they stalled out the already stalled progression of the server. Nobody was doing any big arcs since the abyss weeks before, the last arc was soundly destroyed by betrayal and no revenge was possible bc Minute and Jumper were just slightly better pvpers than Mapicc and Zam.
With the captainsparklez event on the horizon, Zam being lower on hearts, and having just died to Minute and Jumper in a fight where he semi-illegally restocked, was called into the principle's office with Ash (owner of s5 with spoke). Ash told him off, and then was reminded that he didn't remove heart crafting recipe, so he did that and told Zam to just kill 4C and Mid if he wanted more hearts.
Once again Ash is changing the trajectory of the server. Zam goes into a moral quandary bc he's kind of evil this season but is he THAT evil to kill two non-pvpers? While they're building? In the middle of the debate Ash logs on again and /msg him why they're still alive. So Zam kills 4c. He feels awful and spirals and goes to his and Pangi's base to think, but upon seeing their bed, realizes he could just farm Pangi off the server. Or just take half his hearts. The idea is so horrible, the depths of darkness so great, that he just starts laughing. and laughing. and laughing. (vod: "an agent of chaos is born")
So begins Zam's Joker arc, incredibly relevant to s6. Throughout the Abyss, Minute had been calling himself batman, and thus became the fixation of the Joker arc.
The presidency had also passed to Minute who had run saying he would do pvp style events but then just added the aether, changed the kit, and added the Blaze and Caves achievement race (BAC). And he was already talking about ending the server in peace.
This upset Mapicc Bacon and Zam, who had become The Players by this time. After consulting with Spoke (bc he always ends the server), they came up with a plan to break up all the teams. Mapicc started reaching out to Clown and Leo to see if they would betray the PMC, their team with Minute. And they came up with the plan to try and steal the presidency from Minute after his term was up (3 weeks, 3 changes) and use it to make the server hardcore, thinking they would finally be able to kill Minute and Jumper.
Zam full on went onto his Joker arc, blowing up builds, having people choose to blow up builds, fight each other, and a host of other Joker inspired moral dilemmas. minute told zam that the reason he wanted to join lifesteal was because he looked up to him for his s3 heroism. (vod: "murder chicken machine") Jumper also had a great yap session with zam at this time ("your president doesn't care about you")
Zam's main tactic was taking all his armor off in front of minute and jumper, taunting them to kill him and break their peaceful ending. If they wanted him to stop destroying the server they could just kill him.
But they refused. over and over.
Then the Blaze and Caves event happened, Minute's final presidency event. whoever got the most achievements from the 900 or so new ones would get a heart cap of 30. Zam being Zam loves small tasks and went on a week of 12 hour streams to get them all, stopping all Joker activities.
In this week Mapicc made fun of Minute for not just killing Zam and over the course of the conversation Minute agreed to bet the presidency bc Mapicc implied that they were just opposing Minute bc Minute stole the presidency from Mapicc bc the vote was rigged after the CaptainSparlez event. If Mapicc could get the majority of the server to vote him out, he would step down.
Wemmbu approached Mapicc and I forget who suggested it first but what came out of it was Wemmbu would pay everyone who voted for him $500, Mapicc wanted Wemmbu to get the presidency bc he thought more people would vote for Wemmbu over him, and then proceeded to convince everyone on the server to vote against minute within like a 2 hour span. (you can watch the entire thing go down live on Zam's vod. it was incredible)
Minute was completely cooked. The presidency was ripped out from under him, Clown and Leo voted against him, everything was rigged from the start while he still believed the server would vote for what was right, not what was interesting, and definitely not for irl money.
Minute's vod "meet the yappers" is a vod of all time.
That Saturday the BAC achievement race was finished and Zam got 30 hearts, Pentar came in second and got 25.
The server got turned to hardcore, and the Players accidentally killed Bacon with an arrow cannon like 5 minutes into it that they were planning on using on the whole server.
With the presidency gone, Pentar, Minute (Brandon), Ash, and Jumper became officially PB(And)J and gave up being the nice guys. They were still self-proclaimed the good guys and they still wanted peace, they just had to kill a few people and then there would be peace on lifesteal.
So they, all four of them, jumped Zam and killed him in a couple minutes flat when zam had threatened to blow up the vitalasy hole, Vi's last place on the server before leaving. It was the classic Joker threat, but he went to actually do it bc Ash was being extra obnoxious in the call. And then got instantly murdered. and Zam was banned.
Then like a week later (iirc?) Jumper asked Mapicc on to talk, she told him she regretted betraying the Abyss, that pb&j wanted to kill people and she just wanted the server to end in peace, and that she wanted Mapicc to kill and ban her so she could end her season on her terms.
It was a trap. Minute shot Mapicc with an arrow cannon. Killing him instantly.
They then got Wemmbu on and used their presidency power that was left over to cancel out his presidency power of immortality (it was just as confusing as that sounds) and killed him instantly.
Wemmbu didn't like that(TM) so he changed the tnt damage to 100 and dropped a nuke on them instantly killing Jumper Ash and Pentar. But that was unfair(TM) (and he lagged the server illegally to do it) so it was undone.
As a result Zam borrowed Pangi's account and Mapic borrowed Spoke's and they were back on to oppose this peaceful ending. Clown and Ro also locked in and were super active in the finale.
Wemmbu's next presidency thing (this was before they killed him. whatever. time moved weirdly in the finale) was the blessings and curses, Zam was pretty much emotionally done with the server, so in a final act of GayJoker flare, blessed Minute with fire res (which was useless bc Minute had 64 notch apples).
Mapicc and Clown were Not Happy with this, Mapicc took it as a betrayal, which upset Zam a lot because his whole thing this season was not betraying his team bc that's all he did s4. So he locked in for the finale. Pangi's account accidentally got banned, so he borrowed Spepticle's account.
Minute and co were not logging on a lot, even though they had a whole meeting about them playing at least a couple of hours a day so The Players could actually try and ban them and it would be a real finale event. Mapicc pulled out Salty Mode and once again got Minute to cave and Jumper and Pentar logged on and they did a 4v3. Clown out general'ed Minute and Minute got banned and Pentar got banned. Speptical logged onto his account to kick Zam off mid fight which was a delightfully great bit of possession control.
Jumper had to survive two days and got Squiddo and Ash to help, the three of them tried chunk banning Clown and Ro and Mapicc (zam got banned by clown so they couldnt use Spep's account to get Mintue back on). Mapicc died bc Squiddo made a mod to tap into Wemmbu's mod from his presidency and she nuked him and he died from an elytra glitch.
Eventually the next day Jumper and co chunk banned everyone, but clown and Ro walked out of it bc you can join and move a bit before you get kicked. Jumper elected to stay canonically in the ban and give up, even though they let the ban despawn by accident and she could log on. She conceded the event.
Everyone went to Branzy's carnival which had been happening in parallel to all of this the past couple months. They celebrate his final moments on lifesteal, and bid adieu to one of lifesteal's most beloved members. He won't be joining season 6.
And then we have s6.
Zam starts the season deciding to never kill a player again. he will just build peacefully at spawn, swearing off violence in the wake of his violence in the joker arc and s5 in general.
within 9 days he is killed by pentar on bacon's suggestion, killed by mapicc 3 times in a row, killed by bacon and planet's trap which they pulled to stop leo from killing him, along with a host of other small moments that almost make zam break.
on the 9th day he tries building a shulker farm for hours and hours. pangi bothers him throughout the whole process and he shoots him with his bow to get him to go away over and over. in a bout of frustration over the farm not working he builds a closet to lock the spirit of the joker in. he tells bacon about the closet and how he has terrible nightmares and the demon in his closet tells him to kill people. eventually he gives up on the farm but later that night he logs on to mess with bacon more. bacon and planet manage to piss him off within a couple of minutes and he again starts using his bow to shoot at them in petty frustration.
but planet takes off all his armor and takes an arrow to the head, popping like a grape. zam got his first kill.
that night he stalks spepticle and is menacing in the distance. he tells spep he wont remember this when he wakes up but spep will.
the next day he's in agony over what he has done. pangi comforts him and tells him its not his fault. zam builds a tree and writes his first oath, swearing to never crit or bow at players ever again.
satisfied that he's learning to control his bloodlust he decides to try and get to 20 hearts from building because mapicc asks him to build him a castle. the next day flame asks him to build him a volcano for 3 hearts which makes him raise the price on mapicc's castle also up to 3 hearts (after two conversations)
at the same time squiddo, 4c, and cube run the peace trials to decide who they will give the mace to. eventually they choose clown because he put his all into it.
as time continues more and more people choose to follow zam in pacifism. woogie swears off violence after mane blows up their base and red kills kab. kab swears off violence after going in a box for a week to process red killing her. pangi swears off violence so people feel comfortable coming to his recording events. zam hates that people are copying him. it was never about making lifesteal peaceful, it was about his own bloodlust.
one day flame comes to spawn during session asking for a 10v1 fight. everyone thinks there has to be a trap, but he denies it. mapicc starts getting people involved for the fight and they get about 5-6 people because zam woogie and pangi all refuse bc pacifism and terrain never pvps and has no gear.
right at the end zam decides to let go of his oath for a day to participate in the fight so flame can do his idea. he wont kill flame but he will crit him. but flame decides there's not enough players and he hears that rek and others will just run if they get low and flame wants to kill them all, not end in running. so he cancels the fight to plan it another day.
everyone disperses and logs off but a bit later wemmbu calls zam back to spawn so he can watch them blow it up. flame is destroying builds to piss off the players so they will want to fight him. zam is horrified and gives himself up as a fight so flame will stop. flame and wemmbu kill him and keep blowing it up because it was never the point. they want a 10v1 not a princezam alone.
flame burns down zam's tree and as the fire consumes the tree zam can only helplessly look on while flame and wemmbu mock him in vc.
Zam almost breaks. But pangi logs on right after and he suddenly realizes he can rebuild spawn over and over from a schematic and nothing is bad at all. Skipping away he starts gaia's hand, a group of players who will help him rebuild spawn and fight flame. He's afraid of getting so involved and so close to fighting because it might make him slip up and break, but if flame burning his tree couldn't make him change he didn't think anything could.
pangi takes it upon himself to talk to flame, giving him lite therapy to get him to see that people take time to build and building is enjoyable by building a house with him. flame begrudgingly builds the house thinking it's dumb the whole time. but pangi gets him to agree to not blow up spawn anymore and pagni will organize flame's fight for him. but minutes later wemmbu logs on and starts blowing up mapicc's castle. pangi is helpless to stop him because of his pacifism and he's pissed that flame can't control his teammates. he leaves telling flame to stop wemmbu or the fight is off. minutes later again flame calls him back to the house they built and wemmbu has blown it up. flame is completely dejected and feels like he cant stop wemmbu and also that it isn't his problem to fix. pangi gives him one final chance, but he's at the end of his rope. but they leave agreeing to get flame the fight.
zam gets into mccr and leaves the server for this week to practice, during his absence the fight happens, but right as the 10 people stand together in a pre-fight pep talk mapicc and spoke tnt minecart the whole circle, killing everyone. the players are pissed and refuse to fight again. mapicc says its because wemmbu blew up his castle, and that flame needs to kill wemmbu and he can have his fight. mapicc and wemmbu end up fighting and bc mapicc was on his phone hotspot he starts to loose so he runs from the fight. in retaliation the server griefs his castle, enemies and friends together.
after the cart incident zam logs on to get updated, pangi and mapicc both hate how flame is bullying the server into getting his fight and they promise to stop flame.
in the ashes of his tree, zam no longer has an oath, so he writes a new one that focuses on refusing to kill and refusing to use violence to solve his problems. he's emboldened by his idea to rebuild spawn over and over whenever flame destroys it, convinced he will outlast him.
flame logs on and zam gets him to admit he can't control wemmbu and also cant betray wemmbu bc wemmbu has something over him that will ruin him. zam this time promises to get flame his fight if he can convince wemmbu to stop blowing up spawn. he logs off to win mccr the following weekend, and the day he returns flame has decided to do his fight during session and uses 1000 dogs to aid him.
also while he was gone kab killed planet twice, almost banning him but then gave back the hearts.
zam is left listless, there is nobody to fight. he builds a field of daisies to frolic in. he doesn't know what he will do. where his journey will take him. but for now he's content. he has completely become the pacifist.
days later mapicc calls him to his castle and reveals that he's been stalking him for months and trying to get him to break and start killing. it has obviously been unsuccessful. at one point about a month before he had taken off his armor and started attacking zam and zam still refused to hit him, only doing it accidentally before running away and getting out. mapicc offers him hearts if he kills him and zam easily refuses. they end the arc teammates rather than enemies.
with nothing going on in the server, bacon decides that while mapicc prefers having zam as a friend, he prefers having zam as an enemy and so he choses to join wemmbu to help guide him to do more interesting arcs. wemmbu takes him in and same day kab leaks spep's location and wemmbu kills spep with bacon in tow and the team starts to form.
that same day bacon starts training kab to learn to escape fights, during it kab sets her bed in front of him. a little later mane logs on and kills kab bc they have a feud going on since the start of the season, and then finds that bed and kills her again. kab immediately thinks bacon betrayed her and sends hannah after him to kill him, he dies in one hit because he's on 4 hearts and then dies again trying to get his stuff back and is overall rather pissed at kab and hannah because he didn't leak the bed. they get wemmbu on and update him and bacon refuses to team if kab doesn't give the heart back. it ends unresolved but a couple days later kab gives bacon the hearts and the california girls becomes a team (name will come later).
zam thinks bacon is being fishy so he investigates him but wemmbu leaks pretty quickly that they're a team. but then wemmbu gets hannah to kill poafa at spawn twice and zam can do nothing but watch and give poafa two of his own hearts. he's left with nothing to do and no ideas of how to fight wemmbu without fighting.
mapicc drops his stalking video and then dies to wemmbu in a 1v1 and zam logs on in time to see him die. bc of both things he's sent into a reflection turmoil over who he is on this server. mapicc has got him feeling like the team awesome days and it scares him. who do the players on the server view him as? he realizes independence was nice, but it's also isolating and he's all alone. he resolves to find teammates. but even so he doesn't have options he likes at all.
then one day bacon revives planet, and wemmbu kills planet twice and all the members of the server are too afraid of wemmbu to attack him and protect planet. zam is crushed but still doesn't know what to do. he gives planet hearts from his own hotbar, but he's running low and he vowed to not kill and he doesn't want to slip and go down a route that will make him evil again.
then while musing over ideas he flies to spawn and sees derap and mid, touching down he intends to chat, but derap kills mid, banning her instantly. horrified zam asks him why but derap just says it's because there were no repercussions to his actions. that word sticks in zam's brain and he realizes wemmbu has never had to face any sort of repercussions for his actions.
bacon and mapicc log on and zam shares his realization and him and mapicc decide to use zam as bait to get wemmbu into a fight where mapicc and spoke can kill wemmbu with zam as support (not using strength). they get the fight, flame joins in, but mapicc and spoke both die and zam gets out. zam, in post fight talking with chat admits that he's felt more happy while fighting than he has most of the season. he starts to very seriously consider changing his oath to allow fighting, but he doesn't want to do it by his own choice so he asks poafa and kab on.
the poafa conversation is very dear to me, zam admits that the whole reason he did pacifism was because of the "chicken murder machine" conversation with minute s5 where minute said he was inspired by zam s3. Zam has been wanting to reconnect with who he was in season 3 so he swore off fighting and vowed to protect the server at all costs. poafa gently helps him see he's not fighting on fair ground and it wouldn't be bad to fight. that he is capable of looking at the reasons he's fighting and choosing to not go too far.
he talks to kab, and feels good enough to choose a new title, pacifism never fit, but first derap comes back asking what the heck happened because he saw the mapicc and spoke death messages and zam and mapiccs banter with flame after the fight so he knows zam fought. zam admits what he said earlier changed everything and that he is going to fight from now on.
after derap leaves he writes a third oath, this one labeling him a protector of spawn, and collects a sword "galaxia, the protector sword" plus a bunch of strength pots from a barrel right by leo's void hole that he has stashed a couple of days ago as he thought over this arc change. (this is the vod PRIDE)
that brings it to 10/15/24
since then there's been small things that may or may not be relevant as the season continues to unfold. zam is still in his protector arc. mane has taken up the mantle of destroying spawn. a couple weekends ago there was a massive battle for spawn trying to kill mane once so he would stop. it all failed. minute became a legend for trying to 1v1 mane and lost but maybe won the ideological battle. mapicc's team built an orbital cannon to use against mane and involved zam. devotions have had incredible lore. kab is doing something with zam that who knows how will end. derap is doing lore with zam.
we are firmly in the mid season where all early things matter and we're establishing all the relationships that will matter for the end of season lore. and this mane spawn destruction may very well be the mid season economic miracle like the cleansing, dupe war, and abyss were in previous seasons. We'll see if anyone does anything bigger after him. Seasons usually end around may/june so there's still plenty of time to go unless they decide to go rogue.
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shivayagojo · 5 months ago
Text
ITALY GP, italian heritage
masterlist
avaflorence
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Channeling my Italian heritage with these idiots so I can win in Imola.
tagged: charlesleclerc , oscarpiastri
see comments below
senatorbiff: Does this mean Leclerc adopted Ava too? 😲 ↳avaflorence: No, I'm Seb's daughter. ↳fernandoalonso: Excuse me? 🤨 ↳avaflorence: Sorry, you too, old man (but you're more like my grandpa)
fernandoalonso: If I don't win, I'm rooting for you to win. 👍 ↳tedestry: nothing to see here. just nando supporting his two kids (max and ava)
florence4ever: MAMA I need you to win. I wanna hear the Belgian anthem again. ↳funeralfrost: A Porsche win in Italy would be the ultimate last laugh
charlesleclerc: No pic credits? ↳oscarpiastri: You said were you going to fill the gas and you just took that picture. ↳charlesleclerc: It looked good, no? ↳avaflorence: Be lucky you even got tagged.
porschef1: @scuderiaferrari truce? ↳scuderiaferrari: 1-2 finish and a truce. ↳porschef1: Understood (as long as we win)
f1
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We're backing racing in Imola and it's sure to be nothing but excitement.
see comments below
funeralfrost: Norris went from challenging to Norris to letting Max through ↳bmb: Bottling his second place just like his race starts 💀
alexin: Lewis and Ava both know the camera is on them. Just in different ways. ↳avafanpage: I saw a yt compilation of her chasing down the camera man for like five minutes
cobretti18: pls Max win and make this is a close battle 🙏 ↳d_silva: Ava's too far ahead for the dutch man ↳pie4july: Even if Max won, Ava would somehow still be on the podium.
bootsncats: How tf have we only had one Ferrari podium? ↳prex: That Hamilton signing looking real bad now 🤣 ↳teamLH: What do you know about the 8 time champion Sir Lewis Hamilton? ↳yugi: pls just hop off
swissgirlie: She's been on the podium every single race. Ava's going to win! ↳florence4ever: Manifesting a win for MAMA
WHAT IS QUALIFYING without a bit of struggle for Porsche? In Q1, Vettel barely was able to squeeze into the next session, being a tenth faster than Colapinto in 17th. The only glimmer of hope for Porsche was that Ferrari had found pace, and not the McLarens. Leclerc and Hamilton was climbing back into the heights of the top 3 after a disastrous start to their seasons. Now, the stage for Q3 was set. The drivers included: Hamilton, Leclerc, Verstappen, Piastri, Florence, Vettel, Russell, Norris, Antonelli, and Hulkenberg.
PIASTRI went out first. For the next three minutes, he was the quickest man on the timing sheets. Leclerc got the closest, but was still two tenths off the pole sitter. It was all smiles in the McLaren garage. Until their fretted nightmare came. Lewis Hamilton, a man who was written off that the beginning of the season, snatched pole position by a tenth of a second. Cheers erupted from the Ferrari pit crew. A pole position. The first of the season. This could be the beginning of the turnaround. For the next set of laps, no man could challenge that time. However, who dared challenged next was not a man.
"We ride on board with Ava Florence - her first lap in Q3. Hamilton on pole, Piastri second. Where is Florence is going to finish in the pecking order? Her teammate is in fifth. That could be a good indicator where she will land. Martin, let's see this lap, shall we?"
"She's just making her away around the final corner of her out lap. Open the DRS hatch and now we begin! The pit straight is anything but straight. A slight left bend for Turn 1, approaching the Tamburello Chicane. Sweep left, nice right, a bit further and left again. Accelerate the whole time. Beautiful exit out of Turn 4. Short straight and now we're at Villeneuve. Turn 5, flat out. And then drop a couple gears for Turn 6."
"My goodness. First sector, faster than anybody by three tenths. Amazing."
"Indeed as past Tosa she goes and uphill for Piratella. You need total bravery for this corner and total bravery she has. Brilliant speed carrying uphill. Now for Acque Minerali. Easy to go wrong here. Keep the throttle planted through the first right bend then on the brakes for the second. Be careful of the gravel and she is. A quick left kink, Turn 13. Then Alta - tight, technical, but fast right-to-left chicane..."
"And sorry to interrupt you there, Martin, but another fastest sector for Florence. At Rivazza, the double left handers. No lock up for her. She sails smoothly through and the final corner. She crosses the line. She goes... ALMOST HALF A SECOND! HALF A SECOND FASTER THAN LEWIS HAMILTON! And Fred Vessuer did not expect that at all. Neither did Hamilton, I'm sure. And this is another masterclass to add for what is surely shaping up to be a sensational rookie season."
HENRY And that is pole position, Ava! What a lap!
FLORENCE Haha! Yes! Finally!
"That's her second pole position of her career. Her first, Suzuka, Round 3. I'm sure she'll be delighted for this after many rounds of struggling in qualifying."
porschef1
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Ferrari, you still up for the 1-2?
tagged: scuderiaferrari, avaflorence
see comments below
scuderiaferrari: We're up for negiotiations ↳@porschef1: Hamilton x Ava coming soon ↳acidtrip: Don't do this to me! Don't give me hope!
delulu: Whatever magic voodo Ava got in Italy, keep giving her more ↳chemical: Saint Leclerc has blessed another driver but himself
florence4ever: POLE POSITION! ↳gigi: Someone check up on Ferrari fans. They're dying ↳lulu: Nah, even Ferrari fans like me love her ↳coolblonde: Everybody is a Ava fan.
ance: A German team in an Italian nation. I've seen this before ↳distro: german engineering just better
IMOLA GRAND PRIX STARTING GRID
AVA FLORENCE
LEWIS HAMILTON
OSCAR PIASTRI
CHARLES LECLERC
MAX VERSTAPPEN
SEBASTIAN VETTEL
GEORGE RUSSELL
LANDO NORRIS
ANDREA KIMI ANTONELLI
NICO HULKENBERG
CARLOS SAINZ
FERNANDO ALONSO
GABRIEL BORTOLETO
LANCE STROLL
ALEXANDER ALBON
PIERRE GASLY
FRANCO COLAPINTO
ISACK HADJAR
ESTEBAN OCON
OLLIE BEARMAN
YUKI TSUNODA
LIAM LAWSON
"Imola, where Romans first settled, and where the gladiators have returned. Ava Florence, her second pole position of her career, will be looking forward to continue her tremendous season, but she's got the more experience Hamilton behind her. This afternoon, it's a 3.05 mile track and it is wet at the moment. We had some showers coming in before the race schedule. One DRS zone on the first straight of the track. 63 laps ahead of us, let's see what comes out of this race."
"Rain is always an unpredictable factor in Formula 1. We get so many exciting moments in the rain. This one is going to be no different. We've got most of the grid starting in Inters, except for the likes of the Audi of Hulkenberg and the Redbull of Lawson."
"Tire strategy is going to play a key role here as rain is expected to last for a good portion of the Grand Prix. But now, the cars line up at the end of the formation lap. It's Ava at the top of the pack, followed by Lewis Hamilton, Oscar Piastri, and Charles Leclerc. And now it's five lights.... AND IT'S LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO! Oscar got a good start on Hamilton, he's side-by-side already. Florence leading the pack. Down Turn 1 they go - OSCAR GOES PAST HAMILTON. Verstapen on Leclerc. AND OH AN AUDI GOES OFF THE TRACK!"
"It's Hulkenberg. Hulkenberg went off the track. And now that's giving Sainz the clear move on Antonelli. He pushes to the inside and he moves on ahead."
"Already, we've swapping positions. Piastri had that beautiful start on Hamilton. He's in second. He's going to try and pass Ava. Behind it's a rivalry we've been asking for. Leclerc and Verstappen. It's going to Verstappen on the outside of Tosa. Round they go on the hairpin, Leclerc just having that edge. Verstappen not giving up though. He's alongside his rear right wheel... Leclerc cuts him off at Turn 8."
"Exciting stuff we're seeing. A lot of drivers are failing to find grip on these wet conditions. As there goes Esteban Ocon on Isack Hadjar. He's in P18 now. Like I was saying, staying on the track is going to be the most important thing because there's a lot of gravel and- Oh, Norris spins out. Just like I said. You have keep on the track."
"Lando Norris stuck on the gravel pits. He's going to try and find a way out. We have yellow flags out and this is reminding me an awful lot like the race with 2021. And if you're Hamilton, you don't want it to be like 2021 Imola. As now, past Turn 19, they hit the pit straight. Hamilton has the slipstream. No DRS, but he doesn't need it. He pulls past Piastri. Hamilton back into P2."
LAP 3:
"What's this? This is Nico Hulkenberg coming into the pits. So, obviously, the wet tires did not work out for the Audi. The track just not wet enough for it. We're watching Bortoleto and Alonso. And that's not much of a competition there. Bortoleto gets past the Aston Martin."
"Hamilton has cut down the gap to Florence to just five tenths. So, he's going to get a good chance the next time they come down the pit straight. Oh what is this? Russell goes a little wide on Tosa so that's Lando Norris coming through. He's gained an easy position."
"Sorry to cut off there, Martin. I said it was going to be an easy position for Bortoleto. I lied. Alonso is coming back through Minerali. Alonso has the better line, and he's going to swoop past Bortoleto. So, that is the difference between a rookie and a 43 year old F1 veteran. Alonso makes it very easy to get back into P12. There's also Esteban Ocon. He gets past Colapinto in the same corner Alonso got past Bortoleto. So, Ocon, finding very good pace in these inters. He's not that far off from the leaders."
...
"We said it earlier. Hamilton less than a car length away from Florence. Still no DRS. The stewards don't think its safe enough to activate. But Hamilton doesn't care. He's popping down the inside of Turn 2. Side by side! And Florence is off the track. Oh she had to cut it! HAMILTON IS UP INTO THE LEAD! And it's not over! Florence struggling to get back onto the track! Piastri moves up int P2."
"They didn't make contact, but it looked like Hamilton had to force her wide and then she went off the track. We might need a replay to see what happened. But, yeah, Crofty. She had trouble getting it back and Piastri took that chance to swoop in."
FLORENCE The chicane is way too wet!
HENRY Understood, Ava. But we don't think it's ready for wets.
"So, it wasn't Hamilton. The track is just too wet for her stay on it. But apparently, not wet enough for wet weathers. If you're just joining us, Ava Florence, the pole sitter, the race leader is now sitting in third with Hamilton leading for the first time this season."
BEARMAN Why are the shifts not working?
"That's Ollie Bearman complaining about the gears on his steering wheel. Hopefully, that won't become a persistent problem later in the race."
LAP 15:
"It's revenge season for Ava Florence. She's been chasing down Oscar Piastri for 13 laps. Down the pit straight. Still no DRS, but this track is proving you don't need to overtake. Down the inside, she goes. Is she going to recreate the move Hamilton did on her? Piastri backs off, Ava moves up. She's into P2."
"I think Piastri knew the track was still too wet. He saw what happened with Ava. He was right behind her. So, he doesn't want that happening to him."
"Ava is now clear of Piastri. The gap to Hamilton: 4.5 seconds. And what's happening here? Contact between Lawson and Stroll! Lawson clips his front wing! He tried to swerve on the other side of Turn 1, but calculated it wrong. And Lawson is definitely going to have to pit. That is going add another bad omen to his already bad weekend."
LAP 16:
"Verstappen has been slowly gaining on Leclerc. Or shall I say, Leclerc seems to be losing some pace. He's getting slower and slower with every lap. Is his inters starting to lose some grip?"
"I think so. He's been spending a lot of time in the opening stages defending against Verstappen so that might have cost him as now Verstappen tries on the outside of Tosa again."
"This time, Leclerc does not have the exit speed he needed. Verstappen, oh so close, storms on ahead. Verstappen up into P4. After the last couple of rounds, he's moved up into P2 of the championship standing and now looks like the real front runner to challenge Florence, if there is any."
LAP 26:
"There's Vettel coming out of the pit lane. He's behind Lando Norris. A bit of a hit and miss weekend for Vettel. Not a strong qualifying, but finding some sort of pace to keep it running. And now we're going to past the chicane. And I think from what we've been seeing, the rain is increasing, so we might see some cars coming into the pitlanes for wet weather tires... And, yes, we do. It's Piastri coming into. So Verstappen is now third, but none of top three have stopped, and I'm pretty sure they will."
"Yeah, let's just look at this stop by McLaren. Mighty fast. Gets him in, gets him out. Just what Piastri needs because he certainly has the pace to fight for the win. The top three have all exchanged places this race."
"We ride on board with Sebastian Vettel and WOAH! THEY RUNS INTO THE SIDE OF LANDO NORRIS! THAT'S A BIG CRASH AND SURELY BOTH DRIVERS ARE OUT OF THIS RACE!"
"That looked dangerous there. Just how fast they came crashing into the wall. What happened? Let's see... so it looks like Vettel and Norris are side by side. So, Vettel is looking for the overtake and I think his rear wheel just clipped the grass and it caused him to spin. And that took it out Norris in the process as well."
VETTEL I'm sorry there guys. Hit the grass.
RUDI That's okay, Sebastian. Confirm you're okay.
VETTEL Yeah, I'm fine.
"And that's going to be heartbreak for Porsche and Mclaren. They two teams on top of the constructors championships. Luckily for them, their others drivers are running into the top ten."
"There's a safety car... No, the race has been red flagged. Red flags on the track so we're going to have to pause the race for a while as they clean up this mighty crash. Luckily, both drivers are okay."
"Ava, how's this race been for you so far. You started on pole, lost it to Hamilton and Piastri. Moved up and now you're second. What are you discussing with the team?"
Ava: We were just discussing what happened with Norris and Seb because I was just told on the it's yellow flag, No, it's safety car. No, it's red flag. Bring the car back. So, just looked at the accident and good thing everyone is okay. Obviously, not the greatest for us. Seb didn't have pace but he was running in the points. So, now it's a bit more pressure to put up a good result.
"You have Hamilton ahead, but you're going to benefit hugely from the restart. What are your plans for that?"
Ava: This does benefit us hugely. I don't have to worry about catching up with Hamilton, but I mean the rain is increasing and so I'm not sure if I'm going to have the straight line I need to take Hamilton on the restart.
"And we are back! The red flag is lifted, and it's going to be a standing restart! Hamilton leads the pack as they return to their grid positions, but don't forget, Florence has been relentless all weekend and now she's right behind him. This restart will be crucial. Can Ava capitalize on this opportunity? The rain is still falling, and the conditions aren't getting any easier. It's a slippery surface out there as the cars get ready for another battle. The lights are going out again—AND WE'RE OFF! Hamilton with a clean getaway, but Ava Florence is right on his tail. She's pushing, pushing hard down towards Turn 2, and OH, SHE'S THROUGH! A brilliant move from Florence! Hamilton tries to defend but she's already past him by Turn 3! And there it is—AVA FLORENCE BACK INTO THE LEAD!"
"What a start for Florence. You can see Hamilton already trying to fight back, but it's Florence who leads as they headed into Turn 3. Florence just has to build this gap and keep it steady. Hamilton is not going to let off easy."
"Piastri, Verstappen, and Leclerc all looking to take advantage of any slip-ups ahead. Verstappen is already eyeing up Piastri. He's looking to make a move into Turn 4, not quite! Long straight. Plenty of time to catch up. Ocon, making up lots of positions on the restart. He's up into the points. A brilliant race Ocon is having. So is Fernando. And now, Verstappen, on the outside of Tosa! Again, he gets the overtake done on Turn 7. Verstappen is in P3."
"Verstappen gets the traction out of the corner, and Piastri is forced to concede the position. And that corner has just been magical for Dutch driver."
LAP 30:
"Hamilton is not letting up. The gap is anything but large. He's right there behind Florence, just half a second separating them. I'm sure her engineer has told her, Hamilton is faster on the first sector. The one they're heading into right now. Verstappen, meanwhile, is hunting down Hamilton and has his sights set on that second place spot. Quite a while to go, bu this is heating up nicely."
"As we go through the tight corners of the chicane, Hamilton is a little faster through there, but Florence's consistency on the brakes is keeping him at bay."
"You can feel the tension building between these two—it's like they're waiting for the other to make a mistake. And here we go again into Turn 2—OH, HAMILTON SLIDES! He loses a bit of time! Florence takes advantage!"
"Hamilton got too trigger happy. The track was too wet for a move like that. Florence is being cautious. She has to be. She doesn't want to go off the track."
LAP 35:
"Max Verstappen has now found his rhythm and is closing the gap to Hamilton. It looks like Piastri's battle with Verstappen has allowed the Dutchman to find some space to work with. Up ahead, Florence and Hamilton are still nose to tail, but Verstappen is gaining, gaining fast. Could we see another change in the lead soon?"
"Piastri is holding on, but I don't think he has the pace to challenge Verstappen right now. The McLaren is struggling to stay with the Red Bull, especially through the high-speed corners. And look at the grip—Verstappen's tires are working wonders!"
LAP 40:
"Well, looks like McLaren found some magical pace. Either that or Verstappen is falling. Because Piastri is right here into Tosa. And there we go—Oscar Piastri back into P3. The same move Verstappen did on him. He returns the favor."
"The rain is still falling, but the drivers are handling it better now. We've reached a relative stability in the race."
"Esteban Ocon is on an absolute charge! He's now up to P9. Ocon has found a groove."
LAP 58:
"Oh no! We've just heard over the radio—Ollie Bearman has pulled off to the side of the track. He's having a mechanical issue, and it looks like this could be a big one. Bearman is forced to retire from the race. What a shame for the young Brit, who had been running solidly in the midfield."
"I think it's the gears he was talking about earlier in the race. So, the team really should've done something about that. But with Bearman on the road like this. It means, the safety car will be brought out."
"And here comes the safety car—just as we approach the final laps. We're close to the end here so I'm wondering if the race will finish under the safety car."
"I think it will. We might get at best, one or two laps, but I think it's safe to say this is the end of what has been an exciting Grand Prix in Imola."
LAP 63:
"As we cross the line to begin the final lap of this thrilling race, it looks like the safety car will be leading the way to the finish Ava Florence will take the win here in Imola—her second victory of the season, and what a way to do it! The rain, the battles, the drama—it's been a race that had it all. Behind her, the same top 3 that made up qualifying, but the order had changed multiple times through the race. Hamilton secures P2, his best finish yet. And Piastri back on the podium after his win in Miami."
HENRY That's another race in the books, Ava!
FLORENCE Woo! That was stressful. I never want to be in that position again.
HAMILTON That was a tough race. I thank everyone back at the factory. Wonderful job here. Congrats to Ava, too. That was a good race from her.
f1
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From pole to third to second to first, that is certainly an exciting way to win. Ava Florence wins the Imola Grand Prix.
see comments below
sirduke:If she isn't the best rookie we'veever seen, I don't know who is! ↳teamlh: Sir Lewis Hamilton ↳avafanpage: We'll see. If Ava wins the title, she'll take that crown!
delulu: The Florence-Hamilton 1-2 actually happened! ↳digi: I think I've got tears in my eyes 🥹
kiatra: RAH! HAMILTON ON THE PODIUM BABY ↳pcman: He really cooked this race 🔥
florence4ever: The manifestations worked! ↳prettybun: This is the greatest podium I've ever seen! Florence, Hamilton, and Piastri! ↳viscold: Imagine a Hamilton-Florence lineup ↳thebrow: Constructor Champions by round 5
idanz: Between her pole lap and this race, this is surely going to be an iconic f1 race in the future ↳lordshark: Future? It's iconic right now!
avaflorence
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Pro tip: honor your (maybe not there) Italian heritage.
see comments below
k2gs: Oh she's an icon ✨ ↳vogue: We told you so ↳millie: Put her on the next cover pls
fernandoalonso: You deserved this one, chica ↳avaflorence: Thank you el senior (citizen) ↳tango23: Not the senior citizen ↳goldtrain: put some respect on the rookie alonso
lewishamilton: Incredible race. Pleasure to race against you ↳teamlh: GOAT 🐐 ↳delulu: Hamilton is about to go on a tear
charlesleclerc: How come they didn't work on me? ↳avaflorence: Try eating six pizzas before the race ↳charlesleclerc: Slices? Or... ↳avaflorence: ... no comment
WORLD DRIVERS CHAMPIONSHIP
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WORLD CONSTRUCTORS CHAMPIONSHIP
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A/N: Every time I feel burnt out from writing, I read all your comments and it gives me the motivation to continue writing this series even faster. Thank you so much for your kind words. This one is for you.
P.S: I'm curious. What's your favorite race so far?
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