#and for some reason i couldnt get to my luggage to do that

[surrealcervidae]

I had a dream last night where I was in Walmart— I'm pretty sure it was part of a bigger dream where I was on vacation and staying at a hotel someplace and the whole dream was filled with drama and i was switching perspectives like crazy, maybe I'll ramble about that weirdness in the tags— but anyway, I was in Walmart as myself.

I'm in the toy aisle and think I was Freaking Out because !! There was this display of blind-boxes, NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM BLIND BOXES !!!

From what I remember, the toys were like little figurines that gave off Shopkins vibes?? I guess the style was similar? There was a little see-through plastic display showing the products in the blind bags which had plastic figurines of the Squid Sisters inside. Which was totally normal because they were in natm, but Colossal Squid doesn't want you to know that...

I was so happy about the cute tiny plastic figurines bro. I remember thinking about grabbing the blind boxes, cardboard display and everything, and bringing it to the register to buy ALL OF THEM, not caring how much it would cost.

But my stupid subconscious just couldn't let me stay in my night at the museum splatoon amalgamation merchandise bliss in the Dream Walmart Toy Aisle, so it teleported me back to the hotel or an airport or wherever the hell I was!!!!!!!!!! NOT FAIR!!!!!!! GIVE ME MY SILLY NATM BLIND BOXES I WAS GOING TO PAY GOOD DREAM MONEY FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This dream BETTER have been predicting something. I. Want. Those. Figurines.

Okay so I had the BEST night at the museum dream ever oh my gah I loved it so much AND I EVEN REMEMBER THE MAJORITY OF IT TOO!

Buckle up, this dream is LONG

So it started off with me an’ Larry kinda walking around the museum once it had come to life, and I made a beeline to the miniatures. And then my dream gave me a montage of me and the miniatures hanging out and talking and stuff. At the moment I was watching them play some kind of weird version of soccer, and every once in a while they’d lose the ball so I’d grab it for them.

But the whole friendship wasn’t working for me? Because of size difference (obv) and also my hands were super shaky (because they are irl) and I was kinda just sadly watching them continue their game.

And then one of the exhibits (one of the human sized ones) came up to me and was like ‘U know, if u ask the tablet nicely it’ll make u small too?’ And I was like ‘how’d you know I was thinking that???’ And she was like ‘hun I could see it in ur eyes.’

Anyways so I went to go find the tablet, and I did. Except it looked nothing like the tablet did in the movies. But I knew that it still had lots of power, somehow. And then I… prayed over it? Yeah, and I asked it for just one night of being small in the diorama with the others. Once I finished there was a gentle voice in the back of my head and it said ‘It is done’

And then BOOM I’m in the diorama! So I go looking for Jed (because why tf not lmao he’s my fav) and I snuck up behind him and surprised him.

Once he got over his schock he was super excited I was their size now, and then we just kinda sat and talked about random shit. Then the sun came up and I was suddenly not in the diorama anymore but like, beside it instead.

Then time skip to the middle of the day, and I’m looking around for the tablet again (because now I know it works). But it’s not there? Turned out Larry (who somehow was slowly morphing into my irl dad) had hidden it because he didn’t want me to become little every night because it was really dangerous.

(Also, the whole layout of the museum is fucking nuts. It was somehow the museum but it was also a mansion I lived in.)

So he’d hidden the tablet somewhere in the house in one of the rooms. Of course, I had to find it, I wanted to actually be able to spend time with my friends, y’know? So I was creeping around the place looking for where it could be and kept coming up with dead end after dead end.

Then I watched as Larry moved a door in a specific way and revealed a secret room. So I thought to myself ‘oh he’s DEFINITELY keeping it in there.’ And I went down after him. (At this time his resemblance is just fully my dad. I did not question it.)

And I found myself in an ultra long corridor. And it looked like one of those half-finished basements with a couple couches and boxes of random stuff everywhere. Mind you, this corridor was so long I couldn’t even see the end of it. But it was well lit and kinda cozy, so it wasn’t like. Spooky or whatever.

Then he heard me behind him and caught me. But instead of making me leave, he got super cocky and said ‘yeah sure why not. Go ahead and look for it.’ Like he was ultra sure he’d hidden it really well.

So I go walk down the corridor and keep my eyes peeled for anything that resembled the not-tablet. And all I really found was more boxes of junk stacked all over each other, a Christmas tree at one point, and a really fancy bunk bed that happened to have my two youngest siblings sleeping in them. At the end of the corridor was just one lonely bathroom that was just a toilet and a sink. Also I kept like, calling out for the tablet. Like it was going to answer back or something.

So I’m defeated, yeah? And Larry walks away triumphant.

And then this is where it gets really really weird

I’m just kinda sitting there, super duper sad. And then I hear a voice, the same voice I heard in my head when I had made the prayer the other night over the tablet.

So I think it’s the tablet calling out back for me, yeah? But it’s not the tablet. It’s this weird spoon-bell thing that’s kinda hopping around. (I didn’t think it was weird in the dream. But now that I’m awake yeah that was kinda weird.) And it directs me to this line of tin cans with arrows indented in them pointing into the same direction. I follow them and I find a the tablet behind a bunch of the junk I’d walked past originally, covered in this really soft fabric to try and hide it.

The I realize that Larry never actually left and he was RIGHT BEHIND ME. So I ran as fast as I could to the end of the corridor where the bathroom was. In the middle, Larry grabbed me and tackled me down. So then I had the idea to pray again over the tablet and ask for strength. I got it, and pushed him off of me. Then I got to the bathroom and used that strength to hold the door closed as I started to pray again over the tablet to make me miniature and in the diorama every night.

But before I could start Larry just went on softly about how he was just, like, trying to protect me, and that it was dangerous to be that small every night.

So that convinced me to instead pray for just one more night of being miniature, so I could break the news to Jedidiah.

It works, and I’m back in the diorama. And I see Jed and I just full on tackle hug him, and he catches me and spins me around. Then I break down in tears and he tries to console me, and I have to tell him that this is the second yet last night I’ll be able to actually for real hang out with the miniatures like this.

So then there’s this like. BIG time skip to later in the night. I’m still miniature and I’m dreading the sun coming up. Then I see human-sized Jed with the tablet and he’s in a standoff with Larry just in front of the diorama. Turns out he’d somehow done all that in an attempt to help me be able to… visit them more often in a more convenient way. Because even though I told him I was fine with the original arrangement (even though being miniature was really fun) he could see that it wasn’t really what I wanted. So that’s what he told Larry.

AND THEN THE DREAM FREAKING ENDED 😭

Anyways that’s it. U may continue with your regularly scheduled scrumbling :3

[scapegoated-if]

i had a dream that my MC from this game got Mirror-Mine'd (it's another i.f., @if-mirrormine) except went missing for waaaayyyy longer

like it went: MC got to live past Scapegoated's plot and be in one more movie after to completion, and then just kinda.. blipped. and then came back into the world, as if nothing had happened, MC is still in their early 20s, but she looks up and she's now in 2024. she was a missing person's case, a True Crime podcast's favorite subject, they already threw her a funeral, the rights to her music and image and royalties and house and all their possessions have been divided up, her bank account is well defunct by now, her friends that'd been her 20-something age back in the 70s are now all in THEIR 70s as a whole 50-something hears have past or otherwise are fucking dead

and the dream, for whatever reason, focused on her being interviewed by Stephen Colbert. who, apparently, i remember vividly said in my dream "You were always my answer to the question 'if you could have dinner with someone, living or dead'."

and also the US Government was trying to get involved in an E.T. movie way, so the MC was on the tv to announce that they were moving to France and if anything happened to them before then or on the way or someone tried to frame shit as a suicide: it wasnt an accident. something like that

and also the person's face kept shifting bc i guess my brain couldnt decide on who it was, but it was generally either Vince or Penn out of all the ROs (but Shiloh and Leon were thrown in too?), had aged like fine wine and had never re-married or dated after the MC went missing, and was waiting backstage, watching the interview, with their own luggage packed too. i hope they both landed safely, i woke up before they got on the plane. bc the dream stayed on/off at the Colbert interview with? flashbacks?? idk what the other stuff was. but i hope the happy couple made it out of the USA okay

(idk why France of all places would be the move to go to. im obsessed with Eartha Kitt, and she had escape the US government blacklisting her by moving to France for a long time, so i think thats where that came from?)

also i remember Colbert showing the MC all these memes about her re-appearance, but the only one i remember vaguely was about "i dont support celebrities with massive age-gaps. it's weird and creepy/but what about MC and [the being that embodied all ROs and then some at once]'s 50 year age-gap???/tHAT DOESN'T COUNT, IT WASNT THEIR FAULT THEY DEVELOPED AN AGE-GAP, THEYRE SOULMATES ACROSS SPACE AND TIME WHO ARE FINALLY REUNITED BY THE WHIMS OF FATE" and similar type of stuff of people who didnt know anything about the 70s getting obsessed with the MC's lore bc of this time-warp fuckery that Might As Well Happen, might as well be invested in this, like people doing a tiktok trend of "me before i started reading about what happened to this MC person that's in the news now: 😋✌️/me after: 😢💀 mC, MY SHAAYLAAAA"

also the MC was asked about what was their favorite stuff to learn that'd happened since they went missing, like any movie or music, and MC was like "Probably that people like me now?" (icon). also the MC talked about one of "the most horrific things" they had learned: and lectured their generation for being hypocrites and not standing by the principles they had in the 70s (aka: bigots and people who had been disingenuous, like they parroted "Free love" back then and now hated queer people, or protested that there was never any reason for war then yet now supported Isreal), and that the person they were in the 70s would hate and rally protests against the person they had become. that "the only good ones still left from back then, either are now too weak to help rally major change sustainably or had been amongst those whose funerals I missed. I don't understand why the spiteful are the only ones who made it out unscathed and are still full of energy from back then". Colbert was so charmed the whole time, he didnt mind an angry speech featured mid-interview, he was having a great time meeting his idol and she was not disappointing him

idk, man, it was a very disorienting dream. im just telling you the parts that made narrative sense (i think?? i think the MC killed Ronald Reagan? i donT FUCKING KNOW)

anyway Scapegoated × Mirror Mine collab when (im kidding, i swear lol)

this is better than anything that’s going to happen in this IF even though this is basically a timeline in which MC is essentially steve rogers? give me five more

ps. the best promo ive ever seen for an IF and i now will most certainly be reading @if-mirrormine, thanks!

mc in your dream btw:

[miowyaa]

One chair a day, keeps the doctor away; Various BLLK x gn!reader

A/N: Thank you @gothforgod for this request, this had me giggling so hard while I was writing this that I genuinely mightve looked insane. I'm sorry if I made the reader a little too freaky. I had no idea what I was doing. Shidou 2.0 I fear. ALSO, THIS CAN BE READ AS PLATONIC OR ROMANTIC? Again, im so sorry but I find it hard to fit so many love interests into such a oneshot but I tried my best. A majority of it is just joking.. Anyways, I hope youll enjoy reading it!! :)

Cw: reader gets hit by a chair and is knocked out for a few minutes, they’re a little disoriented for a bit but that's the extent of any injuries (?)

It's times like this when you’re really contemplating your life decisions. Namely the one you’re facing right now, nutrients…or that shiny new skin that just released? You debate calling your parents for some extra allowance, but then the memory of you stating your independence so passionately sits you down, because as much as you want that cool skin, you decide that your dignity is worth more.

It was a few months ago when your father broke the news that he had gotten a better job opportunity in another city that would require you guys to move to what was basically the other side of the country. As ever the dramatic person, you fell to your knees and started begging them to let you stay here.

Not only were you dramatic, you were also incredibly annoying because your nagging eventually worked. So with the promise of you being the most responsible person ever and to keep the house as clean as possible, you were allowed to stay.

Well, as it turns out, you may not be the most dutiful person to have ever been born but surely it's okay. It's just time to get a job, like any other normal person would. With this new plan in mind, you are filled with a new determination and swing open your laptop and start looking for any job listings that you could apply for. Unfortunately, it seems that it was all for nothing as you either dont meet the requirements, or.. Well, that's honestly really the only reason. Your eyes nearly jump out of their sockets when you scroll through convenience job positions that require three million years of experience? No thanks.

It's been two hours of straight searching and you're nearly about to just suck it up and plead with your lovely parents for some extra money when a job listing pops out. It has no requirements that you can't fufill and the pay is not tht bad! Well, it does require you to be a pretty good cook but not to brag, youve cracked an egg or two into your instant noodles. You’re pretty sure you got this in the bag.

It was a little frightening how quickly they had accepted your application, were there no applications to be asked or did they need a new cook that bad? You couldnt complain and you were to start the following week, huzzah! There were some catches though, you were to live on site for some reason. You opened up the location the facility was at on maps and it was practically in the middle of nowhere. Simple problem with a simple solution, you dont have a car so you figured youd just call up a taxi- okay that's one down. What would you need to bring? Clothes maybe, would they allow you to return home every one and a while to do laundry or would you do it there? The contract they sent you was so vague..

You did what you could over the one week and once that was up, you called up a taxi and headed towards the facility. It was high in the mountains and honestly, you started thinking about the likelihood that you would get murdered. 

After paying the fare, you walked into the weirdly shaped facility with your luggage in tow, prepared to meet whatever freak was about to employ you. With no freak employer in sight to greet you, you let your curiosity get the best of you and let yourself start wandering. The whole building is built like some sort of maze, all its walls looking identical to each other. By this point, youre unable to piece together where you are anymore because youre convinced youve walked into a hundred different rooms with the same doors. That is, until you walk into what looks like a cafeteria! 

This is promising- you think. You're here as a cook so your job will probably be somewhere around here. You look around the huge room and note two things, one: it's very clean, every flat surface you can see is sparkling, and two: there's a chair flying towards you.

You wake up and the world around you is hazy, you can make out one figure in your peripheral vision and you grab onto it as hard as you can. It reacts with an ‘eek!” and you feel your upper body slumping to the ground. Apparently, they were trying to lift you up. Did they think you were dead? Maybe, and this was this horrible plan of trying to discard your body. You look infront of you to see another figure and with all the strength your disoriented state can muster, you slam your foot onto their face. 

It lets out a surprised yelp and backs away from you, now, you're laying on the ground trying to comprehend what has just happened. Is this the afterlife? No, because you just beat two people up and one of them is still in your grip. You notice that you're holding someone's hair, and immediately sober up. “Oh my-” you sit up, freeing the poor guy in the process.

“-Gosh.” the two look at you as if you’re some sort of animal, and you can't blame them. You dont doubt that the chair that hit you has left some sort of effect on your appearance. Just as you’re about to apologize, one of them has beat you too it. His highlights falling over his shoulder as he quickly bows, the other one follows suit.

“We’re so sorry!” One of them cries out, he has dark blue hair and you notice that his eyes are squeezed shut, too scared to meet your gaze. For lack of better words, you're speechless. Speechless that is until the greatest idea ever pops into that head of yours.

“Ladies, ladies. Calm down, there's enough of me to go around,” you pick yourself up looking all smug. You catch their faces of surprise as you dust yourself off and turn your heads towards the chair. “I guess the chair couldnt help it, all things naturally gravitate me because of my..beauty..” Well, you’re pretty sure that they just think they messed up your head, judging from their expressions. You shouldnt have said that, now it's just awkward. 

The blue-haired one tries to speak, but he's obviously hesitant to do so. A horrible silence engulfs the three of you as all just stare at each other, painfully waiting for the next interaction. “Do..do you play soccer?” He finally says.

How do you explain that you dont have an athletic bone in your body? Just the presence of any ball is guaranteed to make you sweat, but from what little research you did of the facility, you do not fit in at all. “No,” you state flatly, the room returns to a state of excruciating silence.

The one with what can only be described as a layered bob-cut with highlights claps his hands together, “then we’ll teach you!” You’re pretty sure you’re not supposed to be fraternizing with the players, but your employer still hasnt showed their face yet and you honestly couldnt give less than a fart. You shrug and he lights up, taking you by the arm and dragging you off to who knows where, the other one following close behind.

You’re zoned out for the most part, but you do catch the bob-cut guy saying some random things such as, “my monster this..my monster that..” It's a little concerning, should he be on some medications or did this place think that his ‘monster’ was beneficial to him? Well, you dont know and you really dont feel like finding out. Just as you’re going down the bob-cut monster rabbit hole, the three of you make it to a brightly lit room with artificial grass. It seems that you arent alone, as aside from the three of you, there's also some other people kicking around some balls. So athletic. You’re intimidated.

“Bachira, dont you think..” the quieter of the duo tries saying before ‘Bachira’ runs off to go grab a ball. It's now just the two of you, and impulsively, you say it outloud. “Heh..It's just you and me now..” you slowly turn to him, you're obviously trying to crack a joke but the guy's face heats up so quickly you’re afraid he's having a heat stroke or something.

Both of you have no idea what to say and it isnt until Bachira returns that there's finally a conversation. He brought along a few other people, three to be exact. What might be the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid eyes on, and this purple-haired guy who's so graciously carrying someone asleep. You’re unsure of how the purple-haired dude or the person hes carrying are going to help you play soccer, but you’ve been unsure about practically everything since you got here, so maybe you’ll just trust them on this.

It's not that you’re really that eager to learn, but apparently Bachira thinks so and you’re slightly afraid of what his ‘monster’ will do to you if you run away now. So for now, all you can do is smile and nod. The gorgeous man introduces himself as Chigiri, and the blue-haired one realizes he's yet to introduce himself and tells you that his name is Isagi. The purple-haired one introduces himself as Reo and the one asleep and Nagi. Wow, are you in middle school icebreakers again? You dont even realize for a few secondsd that everyone is waiting for you to introduce yourself.

“Oh, yeah. Hi, im [name].” You’re half expecting them to ask you to share a fact about yourself to the class but luckily it doesnt come to that. As if everyone forgot what they were there for, they slip into conversation instead of teaching you soccer and you’re relieved, you slickly open up your phone to do your daily logins when you notice a new voice talking to you.

Should you burst out into tears? Or challenge him to a 1v1 to reclaim your honor? You turn slowly to face the now awake Nagi whose still being carried and has noticeably left a small puddle of drool on Reos shoulder. “You suck at that game,” he repeats. Gasps heard around the room, not really, but basically.

“Excuse me?” You gasp, placing a hand over your heart to show that you took much offense to what he said. Hes so cool and nonchalant that he has the same expression as he did when he said such rude words to you: nothing. His face is literally devoid of any emotion except maybe for boredom and you feel the need to pummel him to the floor.

“Ill have you know, that I'm top 300 in arena, not only that-” he cuts you off. So rude. “Top 20.”

Oh, okay. So he's just a video game nerd, this isnt your fault you're just outmatched because he spends all his time on the game. You feel better now! Atleast you dont rot in this game all day like him. “We have a professional over here..” you lean towards the one closest to you, which so happens to be Chigiri. He looks at you weirdly and you can't tell if it's out of concern or if he's just judging you. Now with the judgement of your five minute crush, you now turn to one of Bachiras methods. You clap and you make sure its really loud. Then, out of embarrassment, you shout, “so, soccer!” 

Bachira lights up, did he seriously forget? You really dont know, but either way, you send another glare towards Nagi before turning towards the speaker. “Oh, yea! Totally slipped my mind. Okay..So this-” so he did forget, but no biggie because he gets cut off by a huge monitor hung up on the wall.

“There you are. Come to my office, now.” It's clear he's talking to you, and you take this chance to leave because, no, you really do not feel like learning how to play soccer, sorry Bachira. Despite the fact that you have no idea where the office is, you walk backwards out the door. What's that saying again? Saved by the bell, except you were saved by a huge TV by a man with a bowl-cut. Lots of peculiar hairstyles here.

You thank whatever force is out there for helping you avoid this predicament and then run off with crossed fingers that the next room you enter, will be the office.

© miowyaa | please do not steal, repost, or translate any of my work.

[weirdbabs]

trying to transcribe spanish when you havent really ever studied it more just absorbed here and there bc you live in a place with a larger percentage of spanish speakers is. a chore

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 40

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: i hope this isnt too much and that youre still enjoying this story! its almost over tho, so if you have any request please send them asap! I have a few more chapters planned but I could always add a few filler chapters if you guys send me ideas. so yea, thank you!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : here are the requests i used. im sorry about the Julia one, they couldnt have a very big and deep talk because it was Liv’s chapter but I still wanted to add her in because i really like her :) hope its okay!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 40 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

May 7th, 2018

It was quite late but we were both packing our things in silence. I had waited last minute to do it while Niall had to wait until he was back from his concert, which resulted in us doing it together. I missed going to see him play and sing and the thought made something stir in my stomach. I couldn't believe I stopped myself from going to see him do what he loved the most to do in the entire universe just because I was scared of what some losers could write in an online article. The more I thought about it, the more I found that completely ridiculous. I was about to mention something about it when I heard Niall talk, breaking the silence.

"Oh, I totally forgot to give you that." He leaned closer to me and handed me a small box that was wrapped in pretty pink paper. I frowned but took it in my hand anyway as he shrugged. "A fan told me to give it to you. Apparently, she was really sad when we broke up."

I stared at the small box on y hand and licked my lips. I knew most of it were just rumors, but I also knew that some people believe everything they'd read online. Still, this time, I couldn't blame them since it was the truth. I quickly unwrapped it and grabbed the note first, reading it out loud.

"We thought Niall was the biggest One Direction fan in the world, but we've seen you multiple times with random One Direction merch and we thought you may enjoy this."

I frowned more but when I saw the necklace, I let out a louder laughter. It made Niall frown too and I looked up at him with a smirk, bringing my hand closer to him. Around my fingers was hanging a necklace with his face on it. It seemed to be very old merch, probably from 2011, and I saw him grimace.

"No, Liv!" he whined as I put it around my neck and I chuckled again.

"Hey, it's a gift!" I argued. "Besides, I didn't have this one. I love it."

"You're such a pain." he joked, making me laugh this time.

I didn't see it coming but he literally jumped on me and I fell on the bed with a high scream. He pinned me down and started tickling me, holding both my wrists with one hands as the fingers of the other squeezed my waist, making my body jerk.

"Noooo! Niall stop!"

I squirmed, kicking him and hitting him without really knowing or controlling what I was doing. It took him a few seconds to stop and he stared down at me with a smirk as my lips were parted. I was panting low, not even able to enjoy his body on top of mine.

"Please, let me wear the necklace." I almost begged in a low voice.

His eyes roamed on me for about a minute and finally, the left corner of his lips raised up and he nodded once before moving closer to kiss me.

I had decided to follow him in Spain even if I had no idea when I'd have to fly back to California. We still had a few episodes to film but I was hoping Niall could come with me. He only had a few concerts left before he'd be off for a few weeks and even if he had to fly to the UK at the end of the month, I was thinking he could spend almost two weeks with me. I knew all we did was live in our luggage, going from airports to airports but at the same time, we were together and it's really all that mattered to me.

His lips moving slowly against mine made my heart twist in my chest. I loved him so much, I always would and I knew it. I was starting to trust him again, so much that the tiny ball of fear that seemed to live permanently in my stomach was now gone. I had decided that I wanted to live this plenty, to not hold grudges of fears that came from our past. I wanted to move forward and I knew that we had both changed for the better.

May 8th, 2018

We woke up early to catch our flight and I put my sunglasses on because I knew I looked exhausted. They were heart shaped but were black instead of my usual pink or purple ones for the simple reason I thought it would be less obvious to the people around that I had puffy and tired eyes. I didn't mean travelling if it meant being with Niall, but that didn't mean it was it wasn't sucking up all my juice.

I didn't expect the airport to be crowded but it was, and I moved my head down, trying not to catch anyone's attention. The fans started screaming, the paps started yelling at Niall to look their way, and when one of them moved too close to us, I felt my heart jump in my chest and without thinking, I grabbed Niall's hand. I realized my mistake and quickly let go of it only to feel his fingers tighten around mine. I could swear the flashes became even more intense right after and I glanced at Niall, licking my lips as I heard similar questions being yelled around us.

"Are you two back together?"

"Did you cheat on Dylan and Heidi together?"

"Are all the rumors true?"

We both held each other's hand tighter at the sound of all these questions being thrown at us and we kept walking as they followed us. I could feel my heart beat so hard in my chest that I felt like it was about to escape. I swallowed hard trying to relax a bit as I kept glancing at my boyfriend.

"Does that mean we're official?" Niall asked me, squeezing my fingers even more after he stopped walking, and moved closer to make sure I was the only one who heard.

I turned his way and licked my lips, trying to ignore the flashes and the sounds of the cameras. I was not used to that much attention, or at least, not as intense as it was being at that moment, but even if it was a bit intimidating, I was not scared.

"Do you want us to be?"

His gaze moved on my face as he studied me before sending me a fond smile. "Yes, I do."

I sent him a gentle smile that turned into a very big one. "We're official then."

"Fuck yes." he whispered, making me chuckle.

He pulled on my hand and we started walking again but as we were about to pass the gate, he quickly and roughly moved our hands up to show our intertwined fingers and it surprised me so much I felt my heart skip a few beats.

"FUCK YES!" he repeated in a yell, making me burst into laughter this time.

If I wasn't sure Niall loved me, I definitely was now. The fact that he literally told the world we were together proved much more than anyone could believe. I knew he was private, and so was I. I also knew he didn't like his private life to be in the spotlight, or talked about, or known, and him showing everyone, fans and paps included, that we were an item by throwing our hands up just showed me how committed he was. People would talk about us and the wrong things we did to Dylan and Heidi, people would definitely criticize us as individuals but also as a couple and I knew that for a while, people would stop talking about his music and my tv show only to blab shit about our love, but he thought it was still worth it and even if I was a bit surprised, it touched me more than I thought it would. And just like that, the blinded trust I had for Niall until he broke up with me was back, and I knew that this time, it would be different.

                                                          ---

We took a nap when we arrived at the hotel and when I woke up, it was the middle of the afternoon and Niall's arm was wrapped around me as he was laying on his stomach. I ran my fingertips on his arm and reached his back, making him groan slightly. He looked so good, his eyes closed, his bottom lip a bit over his upper one in a cute pout and his hair a bit messy. It made something come alive inside me and I realized that we went through so many things to get back pretty much where we used to be. The difference was us and the way we had grown, and I knew that what we lived when we were away from each other was needed to have the relationship we had at that very moment.

I tried not to wake him up and sat up slowly and gently in bed, rubbing my eyes and yawning before grabbing my phone. I knew he didn't want me to but I searched for his name and mine in google and a bunch of pictures from the airport appeared. My lips curled more at the picture of us walking away while Niall held our hands up together. I stared at it for a few minutes and pressed my lips together, feeling suddenly ecstatic and a bit dizzy. It was really happening. I was back with Niall and we were happy together. In all the months we were apart, I had wished for it, but I never thought it would really happen at some point.

"What are you looking at?" he mumbled low, taking me out of my thoughts. "You're smiling."

I turned to him and my excited smile turned into a fond one. His eyes were half-closed and his face was still pressed on the pillow. In fact, I was pretty sure he hadn't moved at all and looking at him made something stir in my stomach. There was nothing I loved more than waking up with him, except maybe falling asleep in his arms.

I tilted my head and let the left corner of my lips raise up before turning the screen his way. It took him a few seconds to let what he was seeing sink in and he smiled too.

"Oh look, that's us telling the world we're back together." he pointed out slowly and in a low tone, an amused smile curling his lips. "I'm sorry, I'm never that impulsive normally. But I've been waiting for that for a while." He paused and I felt his arm hold my waist tighter before he squirmed a bit and put his head on my lap. "It's okay though, because this is meant to last, so everyone may as well know now. What do ya say?"

I brought my hand to his head and ran my fingers in his hair gently, making his eyes flutter. "I agree." I whispered, making him smile more.

"We're gonna get married and have a few kids. And dogs, too. I love dogs."

This time, I chuckled and licked my lips. He had mentioned marriage a few times in the past weeks and I loved it. He used to be so scared of commitment and the future and now he was literally planning it for us.

"You know what we should do now?" he asked, making me shake my head. "Stay in bed all day. Order food, watch tv, and make out. Champagne and you. That sounds perfect."

I smiled widely. "Gotta celebrate the fact that we're official, now."

"Damn right."

After a few hours, we were done eating and the bottle of champagne was empty. We were still laying in bed but I had stopped following the movie and kept staring at the ceiling. What took me out of my thoughts, once again, was Niall's voice. I blinked a few times, trying to get back to my senses, and he raised his eyebrows at me.

"Mm?" I asked, making him laugh.

He stopped the movie quickly before grabbing the sheets of the bed, pulling them over our heads and once again locking us together in our safe place. I smiled at him and turned my body his way as he did the same. It was always a bit stifling to stay under the covers for a while but at the same time, it made me feel secure like nothing else did.

"How hard did that champagne hit?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Mm, i'm tipsy." I admitted, laughing too.

"Me too." he let out, his eyes roaming on my face. "You know I want to marry you for real, right? I want to promise to be yours forever. I want to literally show everyone that no one else will ever mean to me as much as you mean to me."

"I want it too. I want to be your wife. Niall I want it more than anything."

I felt my heart jump in my chest at my confession and we kept looking at each other for a few minutes in silence. He found my left hand and brought it up to his eyes level before running his thumb gently on my ring finger. I bit my bottom lip, trying to imagine what it would feel like to be his wife, and I swallowed hard, almost ashamed that I let my mind wonder so far.

"One day..." he just murmured before looking up in my eyes. "How many kids?"

"Five." I let out, making his eyebrows raise.

"Jesus Christ, do you want to kill me, woman?"

This time, I started laughing and he pulled me closer with a groan, letting his lips press against mine before pulling slightly away. I waited until he spoke again, my lips curling more and more with every passing seconds.

"You're not serious?" he just asked, making me laugh, this time.

"How many do you want?"

"Two, maybe three." he admitted before I kissed him again, sucking gently on his upper lip.

"Then two or three we'll have." I breathed out against his mouth as he held me closer.

"And we'll live in London, and keep a house in Cali, how's that?" he proposed in a murmur. "I'll bring you to Las Vegas to get married. We'll have the best honeymoon because I'll make you cum twenty times a day for a whole week."

I started laughing against his mouth and he smirked. "Where are we going for that?"

"Bali?" he suggested.

"Mm, don't tempt me." I joked as he laughed again, deepening the kiss and making me close my eyes. "What's on your mind, Horan?" I asked lower and more seriously.

"Well, how about we practice making those two-three kids now?" he offered, making me chuckle. "I really want to make love to my official girlfriend and future wife."

"Hey, I didn't say yes just yet." I joked as his lips traveled on my jaw and neck.

"But you will yea? You just accepted to be my official girlfriend so it's a good start. You'll be my wife and marry me?"

"If you want to spend your life with me, how can I say no to that?"

"That's what I thought." he just said, giving himself a swing and making me laugh even more as he got on top of me.

I spread my legs a bit as he nibbled on the skin of my neck and I groaned when I felt his hard dick press on my inner thighs. I was tired and still a bit tipsy but the way he whispered, the sound of his voice, the feeling of his body on top of mine... all of this was too good and I felt like I never had enough of him. Even after all this time, I wanted him as much as I used to, even more, probably, and the way he was all over me made me think he felt the same.

"I want to bury my cock so deep inside you right now." he whispered, bringing his mouth back on mine. "You're so fucking beautiful. I love you so much, Olivia. You made me so happy today."

I reached for his boxers and pulled them down as much as I could, his words making my heart twist and jump in my chest. I didn't think Niall could love me as much as he seemed to, I didn't know he could want to be with me to the point where he would literally hold my hand and show everyone that we were together in a crowded airport. I had no idea he was waiting for this, I didn't know that it would make him react like that to be my official boyfriend. All of this made sense, of course, but it was just hitting me that Niall really loved me as much as I loved him and that he didn't want to lose me again.

"Please Niall, just do it." I begged him in a murmur, reaching between my legs and pulling my panties aside before grabbing his cock and lining it up.

His hip movement was slow and as he pushed himself inside me, I felt my eyes roll back and a moan escaped my lips. I moved my knees up as he lied on top of me, holding himself on his elbows as he started thrusting in and out of me slowly. It felt like torture but at the same time it was so good I moved my chin up, feeling his lips leave kisses on it.

"I love you, can't believe you're my girlfriend again." he whispered, his lips brushing against my skin.

"I was always yours, Niall. I've always been yours. Since I was 6 years old. I knew I belonged to you." I replied just as low and without thinking. "I was just scared you didn't belong to me"

He pushed himself deeper inside me and it felt so good I let out an other whimper. He remained still, waiting for my eyes to open again and meet his, and I felt one of his hands slip in my hair while the other moved a lock out of my eyes.

"I belong to you." he confessed, making a shiver run across my back. "All this soulmate shit? I believe in it now. I have to."

I bit my bottom lip, making him glance at my mouth before looking back in my eyes.

"I love you. I fucking love you." I had barely finished my sentence that he was pressing his mouth against mine again, this time fucking me harder and faster.

My back arched after a few minutes and I moaned in his mouth this time, right before his thrusts became unsteady and a bit sloppy. The orgasm felt amazing and I gripped his arms as I felt his muscles tighten. I pressed my thighs on each sides of him, pushing myself against him in motion with him as he came. Nothing felt better than that post orgasm feeling with Niall on top of me. His lips found mine and he kissed me slowly but deeply for a while until we both got down of our highs and even a little bit after.

"I'm so happy you followed me here." he admitted with a smile as I tilted my head on the pillow.

"Me too." I licked my lips and raised my eyebrows. "Are you gonna follow me back to Cali in a few days?"

"Nothing will stop me from going with you. Nothing."

He rolled off of me and I pushed the covers to breathe fresh air, just realizing that I needed it. Niall grabbed my hand and I focused back on him as he stared at my fingers, making me try to suppress the smile stuck on my lips.

"Please come to my show tomorrow." he just let out, his fingers brushing gently against mine, exactly where a wedding ring would be. "We're officially together now, so we don't care who sees you or what they see."

My heart skipped a beat and I licked my lips nervously. It would be a good start but it stressed me to think that people would start judging us even more, now that we were official. I knew Niall was not going to start kissing me or anything in public but I still felt nervous.

"Okay." I let out low feeling myself tear up. I swallowed my tears but I could see my boyfriend getting emotional too and I sniffed. "I love you Niall. I don't ever want to be away from you anymore."

He brought one of his hands to my cheek and I felt the warmth of his skin against mine as he moved closer to lean his forehead against mine.

"I'm never leaving again. I promise on my life. I'm here to stay. What we have will never die, okay?"

I nodded quickly and bit my bottom lip as I felt a tear run down my cheek. I could swear he was tearing up too and I pressed my parted lips against his. "Okay."

May 9th, 2018

I hadn't realize how much I had missed watching Niall sing and play. He was always the kid who was singing, dancing, or playing guitar when we were younger, and it always brought a bunch of people around him. He seemed so untouchable, even for me, who was his best friend. Now, with the literal crowds and album selling, it was even more obvious, but a lot less scary. The fact that I knew he loved me definitely helped but watching him do what he's always loved but this time, as a living, was just breathtaking. He was breathtaking.

I chuckled when he winked at me subtly and I rolled my eyes with a smile until I felt a hand on my arm. I jumped slightly and turned again to look at Julia who was smiling widely at me. I thought I knew what she was going to say but instead, she pulled me close into a tight hug. It took me a few seconds to answer it but when I did, she jumped a few times, bringing me with her, and finally pulled away.

"I saw the video!" she said happily, her lips curled into a bit grin.

"The video?"

"Of you two at the airport!"

I felt my cheeks turn a soft shade of red as they burned a bit and cleared my throat, looking away. I knew there were pictures but I was not aware someone was filming. Come to think about it, it was not surprising, after all. I felt two strong arms wrap around my neck from behind and I smiled immediately, recognizing the touch and the perfume. It was crazy how he still affected my moods but I could also see that I influenced his, and that made our relationship so much better.

"Niall!" he let go of me to hug Julia and I smiled, taking a step away. "I'm so happy for you! I knew it would happen! I told you you had to keep hope!"

Niall's eyes found mine and his smile faltered as his embrace around his friend loosened.

"I sort of... confided in Julia." he admitted, licking his lips as mine parted. "I know you wanted me to keep the secret, but I didn't know what to do, and I felt like shit... I needed to talk to someone."

He looked at me with fear in his eyes, as if I was going to turn on my heels and leave, but I just tilted my head on the side while staring at him.

"Hey, I understand. She's one of your closest friends." I pointed out with a shrug before sending him a smile. "I talk to Louis about almost everything." I shrugged again. "Besides, I like her."

Julia smiled more and grabbed my arm, pulling me closer to them to hug both of us at the same time. I laughed and after a few seconds, she pulled away and smiled again.

"I'll wait for you guys backstage. We're going to celebrate right?" she asked as Niall and I glanced at each other, a bit unsure. "It's one of my last shows! We have to go grab a drink together!"

"Sure, we'll do that."

She left with a big grin and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. I frowned, my lips still curled, but I had to admit that the way he was looking at me made something twitch in my stomach.

"Thank you." he whispered, bending down to kiss the top of my head.

"For?"

"For wanting to get to know my friends. I know you get along great with all our childhood friends, and my cousins and all, but I've made great friends while doing this job, and you never really seemed to be interested in befriending them too, well, except for Harry, Louis and Liam.”

I shrugged a shoulder and looked away before looking back at him and raising my nose in a small grimace. "You used to hang out with many celebrities, especially when you were dating Heidi. I don't know, Niall, to me, it's a bit intimidating." I admitted. "I never felt like I fitted with them, or belonged with those famous faces. It's just weird to me."

"I'd love to present them to you. I promise they're great."

I stared at him and after a while, my lips curled again. "Sure, I'd love to meet them." I just gave in and by seeing the smile on his face, I knew it made him happy. "Let's start with Julia. I already know I love her."

Niall laughed and cupped my face, tilting my chin up before reaching for my mouth with his. "And I know I love you."

[minjoonalist]

Predilection | Chapter five

Pairing : Jikook x Reader [Feat. Taehyung]

Words: 1.8k

Genre: Angst, eventual Smut, fluff 

Warnings : explicit wording, characters under the influence, bad judgement, (I will make it clear that the characters in this chapter are definitely of age.)

Description: you want him, he wants you, but he also wants him, and him wants you- but him hurt you. So You hate him.

+++

Its somewhere around 7:00 am in the morning and amongst all your fellow early classmates waiting to board the trip’s bus, you find yourself spacing in and out of your own head. Your stomach in knots, eyes puffier than usual and although you’ve tried to calm yourself through an entire night of restless tossing and turning - you just couldn't shake the miserable feeling of dread.

“ Y/n...Y/N?!” There's a hand waving in your face catching your attention. Like a trance being broken, your best friend watches worriedly while your eyes seem to snap open in shock. Seeing him, makes the question ring in your head for the hundredth time, the very one you lied to. Whether or not you found your own body betraying your emotions for the boy you hated.

You kissed him back.

Jeon jungkook knew what it felt like to have your lips moving desperately against his in such an intimate fashion. Your lips permanently painted with the feel of his impressionable touch. The event, unfortunately, was still on your mind heavy, your thoughts consumed within the strange dilemma that you’d somehow gotten yourself into and to make it worse- you now truly had no one to really talk about it with.

“Did you...D-Did you sleep at all last night?” Taehyung stumbles in front you and it if it weren't for the devastating guilt running through you, you wouldn't have noticed the very clear and real suitcase coming by his side. Which reminded you of your suitcase...and that you were really going to be stuck with those two for an entire week...

Focusing, You try to swallow in your very dry mouth, your eyes blinking slowly to take on the equally as sleep deprived looking boy. His eyes a bit dark all around, hair disheveled, and there's an alarming aura around him that you couldnt say you were used to.

Was he nervous?

“Me? Tae you look like you want to get hit by a train.” you retort yawning in exhaustion “something Tells me I'm not the only one who didn't dream of pillows and sheep”. Letting your bag down from your shoulder, you wince from your tense muscles screaming in agony and a sigh could be heard from him.

“Excuse you, but I did get some sleep- at least that was before you came panicking at my door.” he denounces while creating an evil glare.

“ we only talked for an hour, don't blame your obvious insomnia for yoongi on me” you spit back and while taehyung was too busy dropping his mouth to the floor, the scarce amount of your classmates had begun to fill in including your professor.

By then, the sun was beginning to rise even further in the sky and by the looks of all the tired faces surrounding you, you could tell it was almost time to depart on the trip - aka hell. Your nerves suddenly getting the better of you, you slowly start to sink further into the troubling mess of your emotions and just as you were beginning to realize how surreal your situation was, your eyes catch a notable figure in the distance.

Silver hair shining within the powerful breeze, as a ringed hand comes up to help keep it at bay. He struts up towards the surrounding crowd of students, catching multiple glances of onlookers, but whether or not he acknowledges them through his square rimmed shades, it remains a mystery. A black leathered luggage by his side, Jimin stops his stride just a few feet away from you and tae, however his focus remains on the phone held within his other hand.

“Oh great! The ballerina's here.” taehyung cheers sarcastically, meanwhile every fiber within your body was stilled from how aware you were of his presence. Okay...so this was still just a bit harder than you’d thought it would be...you think while taking a deep breath. As much as you wanted to pretend you felt absolutely nothing for the male hovering by the both of you, you couldn't deny the quickened pace within your chest when he suddenly snaps his head in your direction.

Your gaze quickly goes elsewhere.

“Tae I don't know if I can do this...” you swallow, a hard lump coming into your throat. You think you’re going to be sick…

“Do what?” Taehyung frowns, A deep crease in his brow from your confession, however it disappears once he puts its together himself. Both of his brows now shooting up towards his hairline “You're not thinking of Failing this course are you? Y/n we’ve talked about this, you're going to be fine. I’ve told you, you can stay the night with me and yoongi if you don't want to be on your own.”.

And just like that, You cast your gaze downwards, a feeling of hopelessness washing over. You suddenly find your feet a bit too interesting “ I- I don't know…I think this might be too much Tae. I know you w-want to be alone with yoongi and I...well I’d pretty much just be cock blocking you. Plus, I just don't know if I can handle being with them the way it is-” you stutter shakily.

Stepping closer, Taehyung pulls you into an abrupt warm hug, bringing you closer until your head was resting comfortably on his firm chest “ Hey, Hey- no matter what, I’ll be glad to have you around anytime. Besides, it’s pretty bold of you to assume I wouldn’t be pounding into min yoongi, because you're in the next room- I couldn’t care less if you watched.” he pulls back to look you in your eyes, a clear look of doting support across his features.

Meanwhile you scrunch your face up in disgust “I think I’d rather hear them before I hear you- at least I won't really be able to visualize their faces.”

Tae stares at you blankly before he lifts a brow “...You’re telling me, you wouldnt want to watch me fuck someone else...me? The unbelievably hot best friend who had you shirtless the first time we met?”

You cringe again “ You seriously have to stop talking about that night...I would like to not remember getting my heart broken and then having even my current best friend reject me.” you move to step away from him and more towards the slowly growing crowd. You never liked talking about the night you met Taehyung, because in all honestly- it was probably the worst night of your life. Unfortunately, it also happened to be the night jimin and jungkook had first debuted as couple and on top of that- you really dont want to venture back into a territory where sex was possible between the both of you.

Getting closer towards the others, you feel taehyung easily catching up with your walking figure. His arm comes naturally around your shoulder like always before he speaks “ Well of course I rejected you, you were completely heartbroken like an adorable sad puppy.”

“Wow this conversation just keeps getting better and better....By the way this is doing wonders for my confidence, just thought you should know.” you mutter sarcastically while trying to shove his arm off of your shoulder. He doesnt move it, instead catching on to the hurt hidden behind your sarcasm. He then uses his arm to stop you, the pressure of it keeping you from walking any further.

He rolls his eyes “Wait, because I don't think you understand. The reason I stopped wasn't because you were just some sad random girl. Well- actually yes it was, but it was also because…” he huffs “ You were also really sweet and innocent, you didnt deserve some asshole who was going to fuck you senseless and then disappear the next day. So I stopped and when you broke down then cried, I held you, remember?” he tries to put on a smile that opposes your bitter pout.

As much as you hated to admit it, Everything he’d just said was true. Taehyung did stop that night and you knew that, because you remembered that night vividly.

The both of you bursting through some random bedroom door for privacy.

Only moments ago you’d just seen your best friend and your crush making out in back the of a graduation party together and when you confronted Jungkook about it, he’d acted as if he had no idea what you were talking about. Angry, you stormed off, tears collecting your eyes and you made your way over towards the snack table to down an entire cup of vodka.

Moments later, A firm hand suddenly sliding it’s way onto your back that makes you turn to look at the culprit. Enters Taehyung. Dark hair, boxy smile, but red sultry eyes drinking in your poor body as he pulls you closer towards him “ You look like you could use some fun, want to go upstairs?” he would breathe slowly into your ear.

You remembered sliding your eyes back towards the raven haired boy that just so happened to be watching you and Taehyung like a hawk from across the room. Your eyes just barely being able to find him through the sea of people, An emotion swirling dangerously behind them.

In a time like this, Jungkook would already be there ready to save you when needed. But with the combination of anger, the vodka, and a growing euphoria of feeling Taehyung’s hands roaming all over your waist, you were certain you wouldn't need it.

Which brings you back towards the private room. Taehyung locks the door behind him, reaching for you to slam his mouth onto yours. The kiss is sloppy, aggressive and you were loving every second of it. His teeth nipping and pulling at your delicate lips before he’s lifting you up into his arms. A soft yelp leaves your mouth and he chuckles arrogantly into the kiss while walking the both of you further in. In a flash, he has you landing on top of the small room’s bed, his own body coming to hover above yours and you relish in the feel of his hips sliding between your legs.

As if a chill comes by, you suddenly shudder under him. The heated make-out warming you up enough to definitely have your panties soaked, but for some reason...you felt cold. Taehyung continues unknown to this, laying wet kisses from your mouth and down towards your neck. His own drunken lust, blinding him from the way your arms were desperately hugging him closer to feel any kind of warmth.

It wasn't until he suddenly sat up from you. His hands reaching for the hem of your shirt to pull it above your head and have you falling down onto your back. He takes a moment to look at your half naked torso, a look of appreciation washing over his eyes as he rakes them further up to stare at you.

He-

Why were there tears in your eyes?

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Chapter Five | Next Chapter | Masterlist

Taglist: @rkivemagic @peterrogers15 @sessi03 @brokencrownqueen @cainami @icedoutmywristtitanic @kawaiimusiccollection @toddsgirl27

[fiftyshadesgrl]

This is part one of a brantley gilbert series im working on. Hope everyone enjoys it.

Is this the wrong thing to do? After everything that went down between me and Brantley, should I really be doing a meet and greet with him? The last time we were in a room together a lot of words were said and our relationship ended. I thought we were going to last forever. We were engaged, I was planning a wedding while Brantley was drinking himself into a early grave. As I pull up to the venue my hands start sweating and I seriously think about backing out, but he has sure come a long way and I just want him to know that I am proud of him.

45 minutes later

Its my turn next in the meet and greet. All of the fans stand behind a curtain until it is our turn. Security motions for me to head out to see Brantley. I take a deep breath and realize its now or never. I walk from around the curtain and Brantleys eyes go wide. "(Y/N), is that you?" I smile and nod, he opens his arms and grabs me. This feels so good, just like it used to. His strong arms is what made me feel safe. I sigh and start to tear up but then I pull away.

He smiles and eyes me up and down. "(Y/N), youre the last person I thought would walk around that curtain."

I place my hand on the side of his face and wish things were different. "I just wanted to come and tell you how proud I am of you."

"Well darlin, you couldve called." He says with a sigh. I cant believe Im standing here in front of him. Those blue eyes just peer into my soul. My heart skips a beat when I hear his songs on the radio. Sometimes I feel like some of them has been written just for me.

Security tells Brantley they need to wrap up the meet and greet. Brantley looks annoyed but he has a show to put on and many fans that he cant let down.

We get our picture taken and then he turns to me. He grabs my hands in his, "do you have a backstage pass?" I shake my head and say, "no just vip."

He called his manager over and whispered something in his ear. His manager produced a backstage pass. Brantley took it from him and handed it to me. "Here darlin, you can watch from backstage and then we can hang out afterwards."

I shook my head, "Brantley I cant accept this. I dont want you doing me favors."

He placed it around my neck. "Then this is a favor for me. Please I really want to talk to you after the show."

How could I say no to him. He really looked sincere and there is some things that I could get off my chest after the show. So I nod and he has the biggest smile on his face. "Thank you (Y/N). It really means alot to me."

"Youre welcome." I go to hug him and he surprises me by kissing me on my forehead. His manager leads me to Brantleys dressing room. "Make yourself at home honey."

"Thank you. Is it alright if I smoke in here?" I ask showing him my pack of cigarettes. He chuckles, "BG is like a chimney. Ash tray is on the table. Drinks and snacks are in the other room if you want anything. If you need anything else just holler."

I nod and light my cigarette as he walks out the door. Its really nice in here. A big leather couch is against one wall right across is a mirror with lights around it. A chair sits in front of it but Brantley doesnt seem the type to need makeup to go on stage. I put my cigarette out in the ash tray and sit back in the couch. It feels like a cloud. I look around trying to find something to occupy me, I flip through my phone. I snap a picture and send it to my best friend with a text saying 'guess i get to go backstage.'

He sends a text back saying 'be careful. Dont let him hurt you again.' I roll my eyes and shut my phone off. I get up and decide to go get something to drink. When I open the door Brantley is on the other side, I think he was giving hisself a pep talk before coming in. He looks worried, "youre not bolting already are you?"

I shake my head. "No, I was going to get something to drink." He sighs like he is glad that I wasnt leaving.

"You mind if I come with you?" He asks shyly.

"Of course not. This is all for you anyways."

We walk down the hall to the room that has the sign catering on the door. He holds the door open for me and as I enter his hand brushes mine. I feel the sparks way down deep and I know he does too.

After we enter the room I grab a water and he gets a plate of food and a tea. The room is quite crowded and noisy. He looks at me and asks, "wanna go back to the dressing room?" I shrug and mouth its up to you. He nods towards the door and I follow him. He pushes the door open and holds it for me.

When we get back to the dressing room he plops down on the couch and puts his feet up on the table. I sit down on the other end of the couch and he looks like he is affended. "What are you doing all the way down there darlin? I aint gonna bite ya."

I smile and scoot closer to him. I take a sip of my water and light another cigarette. I smoke alot when Im stressed or nervous.

"Wheres your food darlin?" He asks looking at my bottle of water.

"Oh, um." I look down at my hands. "Im not hungry."

He shakes his head, "no, I aint having it. Youre gonna eat. Here take my plate Ill go get some more."

Before I could say anything he placed his plate in my lap and was already out the door. I really wasnt hungry. My nerves were getting the best of me and my stomach was in knots.

Brantley came back in a few minutes later with two huge plates of food. I raised my eyebrows at him as he sat down. "You dont expect me to eat that do you Brantley?"

He shook his head, "no one plate for me and the desserts are for both of us."

I picked at my food as we talked about old times and before I knew it they were calling him for the show. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the couch.

"Come on (Y/N), you can watch from the side."

He opened strong and the crowd went wild. After a few upbeat songs he pulled out his acoustic and sat on a stool center stage.

"Welcome everybody yall are amazing."

The crowd cheered loudly as he took a sip of water. He looked over at me and winked causing a face splitting grin to appear on my face.

"I figured wed slow it down a bit for a while. These next few songs mean alot to me. I wrote them for someone special and maybe just maybe."

He looks over at me again.

"She just might hear them tonight."

He starts playing the best of me and glances at me every now and then. Then he starts you dont know her like I do. Then he finishes with you promised. He gets emotional during that song and he looks directly over to me when he sings the last line.

"No matter what you do, you know Ill always love you.

Hell I have to, cause I promised."

The tears streamed down my face. I knew he meant it and after all these years, deep in my heart. I knew I still l loved him. I never stopped, but thats what scares me. Hes changed yes but how could I forget the past?

He was still looking at me as I turned and walked back to the dressing room. I couldnt let him see me cry, so I sat in the dressing room and cried. I went to light my cigarette but couldnt find my lighter anywhere. Brantleys lighter was gone too.

My eyes went to his duffel bag and thought maybe he might have a spare lighter in there. I unzipped it and tried not to look to much at anything but I felt a lighter and as I pulled it out a paper came flying out too.

"Oh shit, I hope It didnt rip."

I picked it up, a picture fell to the floor. I bent to pick it up and saw it was the last picture me and Brantley had made together. That was the better days before everything went bad. I cant believe he has kept it all this time.

"Yall have been awesome tonight! I love yall see ya again soon."

I heard Brantley closing the show so I shoved the paper and picture back in his bag and zipped it quickly. I grabbed my cigarettes and ran to the exit.

The cool air hit my skin like a gift from heaven. I had to take a breather for a moment cause I didnt know what to say to him. Why has he kept that all this time? Why did it make me smile that he did? Because I love him but I cant tell him. Tonight was just to see him and go home.

I sit with my back against the building and lit my cigarette. I looked down at the lighter in my hand and was surprised to see it was the zippo I got him for his birthday one year. This man, does he keep everything.

The band starts coming out of the doors and start loading the bus with equipment and luggage. A few minutes later Brantley came struting out looking frustrated. He couldnt see me because I was sitting behind the door.

I heard him say to his manager, "why didnt you stop her! I need to go find her."

Before he climbed the steps on the bus I stood up and said "you looking for me?"

I could see the relief wash over him. He ran over to me and grabbed me up in a big hug. "I thought I lost you again baby girl."

I smiled and pulled away from him. "Im right here. I just needed some air." He grabbed me by the back of my head and pulled me in for a fierce kiss. It shocked me for a second then I was kissing him back. Our tounges exploring each other mouth. I nipped his lower lip and he growled in response.

I pulled away but he rested his forehead on mine. We were both panting and I managed to find the words. "Brantley, I....I cant do this."

"Come on the bus with me, we can talk cause theres some stuff I need to tell you."

"I dont think thats a good idea Brantley."

He sighs and those blue eyes pierce right into the depths of my soul and break down whatever barriers I had built to keep him out.

"Please, just to talk. I promise."

I nod, "okay, just to talk."

He smiles and grabs my hand. He leads me towards the bus and motions for me to go first. He doesnt speak to anyone but heads straight for his room. He closes the door behind him.

He sits down on the bed and pats the place next to him.

"You can sit baby doll, dont worry I wont do anything."

"I know, I trust you." I sit down next to him but for some reason the words that I have been wanting to say will not come out. Thank god he spoke first.

"Listen (Y/N), I know the last time we saw each other I was a complete mess."

"Complete mess is putting it lightly." I say

He sighs, "ok, I was a complete dick. I know I hurt you and I said things I didnt mean. I swear to you I have changed. I love you (Y/N) I always have, and if you give me a chance." He grabs my hand and I look into his eyes. "I promise you I will make up for everything baby."

I really do believe him but why is it so hard to just give myself to him. "You cheated on me Brantley. You told me you didnt want me anymore. I wanted to marry you and have a family with you. I saw all of that happening but it was all just one big lie."

"Baby look at me." He says as he places his fingers under my chin. My eyes meet his once again. "Im so sorry for everything. After all these years it still eats at me what I done to you. I was fucked up at the time. The booze and pills had me all kinds of fucked up but it didnt mean I didnt want you. I honestly cant tell you why I said that but I can tell you I didnt mean it." I start crying and try to look away but he wouldnt let me.

"You were the best thing that ever happened to me and I was to stupid to realize it. I shouldve treated you better when I had you but for some reason I thought you would always be there. When I sobered up and realized you was really gone I went crazy. I went everywhere and anywhere that I thought you would be. I cried every night and every day I felt like my heart was just gone."

I wiped my eyes and whispered, "Im so sorry Brantley."

"No, no baby, Im the one whos sorry. I dont blame you for leaving me. Hell nobody did. Mama jumped my case everyday for a month about it."

I sniffed, "I found the picture of us in your duffel bag."

"You did?"

I nodded, "I wasnt being nosey I promise. I lost my lighter and couldnt find it or yours so I thought maybe you had a extra one. I didnt look at anything or at the piece of paper the picture fell out of."

He sighed and it looked like he was glad I didnt read it. "I kept that picture because thats all I had of you. Every night before a show looking at it would give me the boost I needed to have a damn good show. When I sleep, I put it under my pillow. I know its stupid but I have to have you with me or I cant survive."

I smile and before I knew it I was kissing him. He kissed me back at first then he gently pushed me away. "Woah baby, you said you only wanted to talk."

I straddled him and pushed his hat from his head. "I know what I said." I kissed his cheeks then his eyes then his lips. "Listen to what my heart is saying now."

His hands were on my sides sliding up and down, his thumbs were under my shirt. He was tracing lazy circles with them. He leaned forward and kisses my collarbone then my neck. "You sure baby." I nodded.

I pulled his shirt up and over his head. He did the same to me. I was wearing a black lace bra, he growled as he kissed the tops of my breast where the lace touched skin.

"God damn baby, I have been missing and wanting this all these years. Im afraid its a dream."

I smiled as I kissed up his neck up to his ear. I whispered "trust me honey, I dont think your dreams can make you feel as good as Im gonna in just a few minutes."

"Holy fuck." He said as he pulled away and took my lips in a searing kiss. He unclasped my bra with one hand. My hand skated down his chest and stomach and came to rest on his belt buckle.

"Make love to me Brantley."

He smiled, "oh baby, with pleasure."

[eichscrocs]

Hey now, You’re an All-Star

January 11, 2019

@ edmontonoilers: YESSSS! ⭐️ #LetsGoOilers

@ edmontonoilers: Leon with some love for the fans after today's #NHLAllStar news! #LetsGoOilers

When Connor heard the news he was beyond thrilled, his 'liney' Leon was going to All Star too.

@ mcdavid97: All-Star bound with 29! 👊

Surely Connor had gone years previous, but none of them had included another one of his teammates, let alone the one he was dating. Connor liked to keep his life private for the most part, which included Leon too. Media was beginning to become suspicious, but in all honesty neither boy seemed to really care that much anymore. It was going to be a first time for the both of them; Leons first all star, and Connors first all star with his boyfriend. Surely a big reason Leon got voted in was Connors endless support, and maybe for the fact Connor had his whole family (distant relatives included) voting multiple times daily for him, but Leon didn't need to know that.

The beginning of the 2019 season did start out a little rough, so the break would be good for the both of them (besides the fact Connor managed to get Chia fired, but that's besides the point). The Oilers organization had known about the two boys relationship, and everyone was so supportive, especially Nuge who had been the reason they got together in the first place. In the locker room it was even the on going joke, and Ryan was often referred to as 'Ryan Love Whisperer Hopkins'. Connor and Leon enjoyed any privacy they got so the organization was surprised when the two had told them that they wanted to let everyone know they were together, but a little more subtle since both boys were quite reserved.

January 24, 2019

@ edmontonoilers: The dynamic duo had officially arrived in San Jose! #NHLAllStar #LetsGoOilers

If Connor and Leon could agree on one thing it'd be the all star jerseys, they color black was extremely flattering, but they wouldn't be wearing those jerseys until tomorrow. After all today was the skills competition, they'd be sporting the classic orange Oilers jersey. Connor was the first of them to compete, to no one's surprise it was his third year in a row competing for the fastest skater title. Why? Because other than Dylan Larkin (who wasn't voted in) he truly was a speedster. Leon sat on the bench chilling and taking in his new surroundings. HI heart was so full and slightly filled with nerves of watching his boy get ready to skate. From how the event was beginning to unfold his only threat to steal the title from him was Jack Eichel. Seeing Connor on the ice made his little heart flutter.

Connor had taken off just like that and Leon instantly zone in to watching him skate his lap. His skate was over just as fast as it had started, and sure enough Connor took the three-peat. Leon stayed sat on the bench smiling even wider than before. Media ended up in his face and questioned him about Connors pace. Leon would be lying if he said he didn’t wish they were going to ask about their relationship. So he figured clue number two, drop a hint. So Leon turned to face the camera for all to view on instagram, his english flowing perfectly. “I had and idea that he’s pretty fast so, uhm ya know obviously last year I think he won it, so it was uh ya know I had my money on him.” Leon finished off saying while a slight smile arose on his face.

After Connors event both boys were able to relax for a little, as puck control was the next event. Connor shoved his way in the box to sit with the rest of the Pacific division boys, but more importantly next to Leon. “You did so well out there.” Leon said then bumped shoulders with him. Connor schooched closer to Leon (if that was even possible) and his body was pressed right against Leon from shoulders to skates. He rested his one hand on his knee while Leon decided to put his hand directly half on Connors and half on his own retrospective kneecap. Leon looked over at him again and smiled, then turned back to watch the event infront of him. Nobody seemed to ask about it; whether they didn’t care, couldn’t see it, or already knew (Leon doubted the third one though).

As it got closer to Leons turn for premier passing he got more anxious. He didn’t want to dissapoint himself, the fans that voted him in, and most importantly Connor. Leon had to leave his warm encounter with his boy to get ready to go. Connor stayed on the bench watching in awe at his boyfriend, the way Leon made the pucks into the minature nets with such little effort was really no surprise. Since Leon joined the Oilers organiztion he had been giving those types of passes to Connor. Even before McDrai happened they had sucah a remarkable chemistry. (Why was Connor now suddenly realizing that Ryan is super good at reading into love?). When Leons last puck went into the net, the time stopped and Leon looked over and started skating back towards the bench where Connor was. Leon didn’t look at what his time was, but he knew it had to be good when he saw Connor smiling and clapping his mitts together for him. Finally Leon’s competition had ended too, and he managed to stay on top, claiming the win. The closer he got to Connor the happier he was. Connor was sitting looking sky chewing his gum, not to forget the fact he was checking Leon out from head to toe. That all star champ was his. For the remainder of the competition boys the boys were just fooling around with each other. Both had adrenaline running high from their wins. The start of this weekend was a good one, and eventually they hit the locker room to suit back up for media.

Connor had anticipated questions about the Oilers and his captaincy, but his personal favorite was when someone had asked about Leons performance. “That was awesome! That was an event that was tough. Really really tough and Leon I know was a little bit nervous.” Connor began to answer. Since he had heard from Leon still nobody had realized they were an item, he knew he’d have a little fun hyping Leon up. “I ket saying you’re one of the best passers in the game you could easily do it. And he proved that tonight.” Connor said lovingly about his teammate and boyfriend (which the media still couldn’t seem to pick up, which was surprising).

Finally day one was in the books and both began to head to the hotel to rest for the night. Although they’d be staying in the same room together, a king size bed all theirs. After all they were both hockey boys who needed enough space for cuddles. Connor’s room was rendered useless, they’d be using Leon’s room instead. Not that it mattered too much anyways, Connor had the salary to make useless purchases like his hotel room that would remain empty all three days in San Jose. Both boys began to take off their suits and put them on hangers. Even with salaries like they have, both Leon and Connor hated spending so much time finding a suit they liked, only for it to cost more than they ever would have typically spent (it was a suit, why must they cost so much?). No way were they going to ruin them only to go through suit hell once again. Leon was the first to get changed out of his suit, and he head to the luggage to find some clothes for bed. Leon put on some plaid pj pants with pockets, along with an old oilers shirt (which wasn’t his). He had taken a seat while Connor was still getting ready for bed. Connor put on Oilers pj pants that Leon orginally got for him as a gag gift, but no surprise Connor loved them so much. Paired with his Oilers pants was one of Leon’s shirts. Leon looked up from his phone and saw Connor looking adoarble, his hair still looking freshly cut.

In fact Leon was the actual reason his hiar was cut in the first place, and it wasn’t because Leon liked it short, hed just told Connor it’d be funny to see media have a hay day. And anyways Connor loves seeing Leon laugh, so his answer was obvious, he had to do it. He took a seat right on top of Leon crushing him, and laughing as Leon went wide eyed and stuttered out “Oh well hello to you too” while lightly laughing. “What are you looking at?” Connor asked as Leon was looking down on his phone. “Figuring out which picture of us to put on insta.” he replied while turning his phone to Connor to look at the pictures. Leon continued to swipe through the photos until Connor pointed out a good one. “Post that one” Connor suggested. Despite Connor hardly posting on his accounts he knew when a picture was good, and that was definitely it. Leo opened Instagram and selected the picture Connor suggested. “Should I add a filter?” Leon asked seriously. Connor thought the photo was fine as it was, but the temptation was way too high. Leon had seen a yellow tinted filter, “Con! This filter would look sick!” Leon said while showing Connor the result. To Leon’s dismay he was given the ‘are you actually joking me right now?’ look. “I think it looks good, especially you so I’m posting it.” Leon told Connor. Connor put his hands up as to say ‘I’m not stopping you’. “Oh I have the perfect caption too!” He said excitedly as he began to type it out. It was the best usage of 27 letters in his life, all for one small post.

@ drat_29: Great day at the skills comp with @ mcdavid97

“Alright it’s posted” he said to Connor as he locked his phone and placed it on the nightstand. Both boys then opened the bed to go to sleep for the next days fun games. Of course they couldn’t go to bed without Connor claiming his little spoon position. “Ich liebe dich.” Leon mumbled to Connor as he drifted to sleep holding the one he loved the most in his arms.

[magenta-teal]

This is me letting you go

We met exactly in one and half year ago, didnt know each other yet, well, i've heard you before, a lot, but not really paid attention. That time, i feel ur eyes judging me, thought u are the one i should avoid the most.

And then, we're going to karawang. It's the first day you finally talked to me. You asked me abt romi-dude, and i said he was the most handsome guy in the gang. You laughed at me, and i just strunted my eyebrow, feeling weird.

Turns out it was your birthday, it was so late and we didnt give u a proper wishes. Vincya made u blow up the candle with her zippo. Well, next day everyone throwed a party for u, and i dont feel like belongs to family so, i just slept on my blanket, faking to be busy.

And time passed. We got along well, but not that well. Until one day, you asked me to watch coco. I want to reject u at first, scared that we might got awkward as the movie played. But fortunately, we didnt. U even shed a tears, and u said u never cried in front of everyone but certain person. And lucky me, i am one of the kind.

And u told me abt ur stories, and i'd loved to listen every words u said. Blablabla, and u told me ur school, ur ex, ur family, and all bout stuffs. Serious matters. And u shed a tears once again. Want to give u a hug but who am i anyway?

Once again, we got along well, this time, we got along pretty well, as u ended up in same division as me, we traveled a lot, together. Bogor, bandung, medan, bali, what that was again?

And i remember the time when we had a staycation in ubud. U never been that clingy to me. U tailed me wherever i go. And for some reason, idk what, u loved to took a picture with me. It was the first time finally i feel something in u.

Do u remember? The time when we didnt go exploring ubud but swam in early morning? Time when i really want to made a group with u in our ttw camp? Time when i nagging a lot, longing for beach, and u were the one who made people going there, to fulfil my needs. U remember when we had dinner at jimbaran? We took a lot of photo. U even held my hand as if we were a real couple. U made me swing my body. I feel weird but still did it anyway.

At the end, i know it was u who always accompanied me. When i went back to dinner table after took some photos in beach, when im all alone, surprisingly u also went back and sat with me for the time being. And because of that, i cant help but seeing u as a different person.

So as we went back to jakarta, when u sat right next to me on the plane, i really cant help secretly laid my head onto ur shoulder. For a glimpse, for a second, and i could feel the warmth already.

Last, u remember when we waiting for our luggage in conveyor belt? I absent mindly dropped my trolley. Everyone laughed at me, but u. You just smiled, and helped me lifted it back.

Sometimes you surprised me with what you did. Once, you asked me going on rooftoop in the middle night, watching sky full of star with sight of pool in front of us. The next day, you asked me to accompanied you ate sekoteng at 1 AM on a narrow street at bandung. And how do i forget all of your stories on your igs? Once you told that i'm much cuter than kawa. Then you told me to picked between jeans and flanel. And you made me popped up in your 2ndary account. It might be just a birthday wishes, but it really means a lot, for me.

And soon, i realized that you always came by my bench. Once you just passed by. Once you sat on the chair next to me and asked me a things. Once you deliberately brought your laptop and worked in front of me.

People started gossiping us. Some took photo and shared it on group. Some talked behind. Some frankly asked what our relationship really are. What we did just smiled. Neither saying no nor yes.

Time passed once again, long story short u asked me to become ur fwb. Still remember the day u gave me a paper-made-flower. Idk why but i felt butterfly on my tummy. Weird. Shouldnt be that happy but i am.

Turns out it was totally wrong when i asked u to make clear abt ur feelings towards me. I shuld left it hanging but what i did was pushed u to confess. Never knew that would be bad.

Then we made some rules so no one gettin hurt. You told me not to get hard feeling. But it cant be. You know, my feelings already hard to begin with.

Till one day i felt different towards u. You changed. And I came to confront. U said u werent into relationship. I understand, as u started to avoid me, i started to forget u.

But who knows we got a long too well? We attached into each other, somehow. I started to walked away from u, but u popped up once again. Gone clingy with ur dumb smile.

Darn you, spirit of fungus.

And i couldnt resist u at a moment, i come too far by moved out and picked a house rent nearby u. Crazy, i know. And once again, u proved me u really attached to me as u always always and always asked me to had my supper with u.

I know it always been fun hanging together with u. We spent a day, a night. Talking unnecessary thing. Full of laugh. No phone, no people, no distraction. Just two of us. With our own world.

As the feelings started to blooms, i began to showed u a real side of mine. A bitchy one. Annoying, angry, meany, sucks. I got mad couple times. I talked bad. Im an asshole, i know.

Thought u would got tired and walked away from me. But it's you i know. U just being u. U put down my anger by showing me a good side of yours. And you stayed.

Then i started to questioning abt our rules. If we already did a right thing or not. Bcs if we were a real fwb, i shuldnt gone that far by got mad at u. As i start to asked u abt this relationship, u ignored me and just left everything the same.

We were going abroad together on November. Singapore. Your hometown for half a year on 2014. It was a group trip but i'm gone too far by being clingy with you. You didnt pushed me back and let everything be.

We went to USS. And we almost looked like a couple as we always riding things together on theme park. We also did a lot of couple lookalike shoot. Full of awkward pose. After all we are not a real couple.

But you surprised me by knocking my door at 7 AM. It was cloudy morning. Rainy outside. Cold. I opened the door and you straightly went to my room. Snuggled up under my blanket. And i could hear you snoring. As i'm watching you sleep, i wonder if we weren't really a couple. But no, we're not. I'm your friend, i said to myself.

Many things happened. Who knows that i would staying with you on your surgery day? I saw you screaming cause of a shoot. You made me see every single step mrs doctor did to your feet.

And i cant forget all of day we watched movie together. It was a midnight movie. We were wearing our pajamas. I didnt wear any make up and you didnt bother.

Once, you asked me to ate midnight snack on 1 AM when i already put some skincare, turned off the lamp and ready going to bed. We ended up going on conversation until 5 AM.

Sometimes you cooked for me. And you always granted my wish by making some dish my mother barely cooked.

It was sure a best day of mine.

4 months later, after i moved out to your neighborhood, you decided to left cause you cant stand living alone. Im not lying when i said, its saddening. Once i mad at you, gone clingy, questioning you all over if you would still there. But you tell me you're not going anywhere. You're not going to leave me. Then i come to trust you with disbelief.

Now you are going busy with your work. And your life, perhaps? You kinda ignoring me, not replying my text, not answering my call (okay its too exagerrated), not even read 'em. And what can i do? I dont want to ruin everything. So i just sit back and wait. I really dont want to disturb you. You have your own life.

And i'm letting you go this time. Letting you do what you wanna do. I dont want to hold you back. After all, Im just your friend. Like your other friend. But with slight of benefit which i dont know what.

Feel free to stay. Feel free to go.

So this is me unclapsing my finger.

This is my parting, my reluctance, my heartache and my final gift to you.

This is me letting you go.

[tumblunni]

aaaaaugh that was a weird adventure of a normal thing seriously wtf how did I Almost Die from just trying to pay my electricity bills?? the electricity went out at midnight and I was having a WHOPPING GIANT MIGRAINE and seriously i suck at talking to cashiers on the best of days but now i have to call a taxi at midnight and sit there feeling awkward for like half an hour while the guy drives me several miles away to the only electricity place thats open 24/7 and like five minutes in i realized OH SHIT THIS MIGRAINE IS MORE SERIOUS THAN I EXPECTED but like i was trapped in a car and trapped in an awkward social situation! so i was here all dizzy and disassociating and like it felt like the window was a computer screen?? cos im nearsighted a lot and of course its gonna get even worse when i have a dizzy migraine of death doom. i was just so out of it with pain and tiredness and the car shaking me about and just it felt like i wasnt really there but i was still in my house just watching all this on the tv or something. i had to look down at my hands cos they were the only non blurry thing, i had to remind myself that i actually existed and wasnt somehow being erased from the world and replaced by a film reel of some guy sitting in a car?? So I am like Absolutely Fucking Nonfunctional here, and being acutely aware of how i forgot to wear my glasses and apparantly also my socks. Tho in my defense it would have been hard to put them on in the dark anyway! and seriously THIS POOR CAB GUY! like it seemed english wasnt his first language and i felt so bad cos like how can i make it clear that I am the one messing up here?? dude you didnt mishear me i really am slurring everything i say and forgetting half the dictionary. HE WAS SO NICE! I wish i could have like.. been able to register any of his individual faceparts as a coherant whole. I have problems with prosopagnosia even on a good day, but like whoa man i did not have the energy left to concentrate on what this guy even looked like. i feel bad cos i dont know his name either, im gonna remember him as just this big helpful shadow void with a nice accent. HOW DID YOU PUT UP WITH ME EMBARASSING MYSELF SO MUCH, YOU WONDERFUL CABMAN actaully wait do you call them cabs in america aa im sorry this post isnt very america translated i try and generally self-correct to america english cos i know like 90% of my followers seems to be america for some reason i do not understand HELLO AMERICDA FRIENDS TODAY okay so i was Dying in a taxi which is also called a cab, and the company was Capital Cabs which is very good and i love them and they have an automated system so you dont have to talk on the phone and seriously that cut like 50% of terror from this terror day SO ANYWAY I WAS DYING we go all over the place looking for the 24 hours electric place, and then for some reason they are closed?? there was a line outside and i think actually the doors got stuck and the cashiers couldnt get out??? what happened?? i guess i will never know cos i had to leave that mini story behind and find another electric hilariously we found one LITERALLY ACROSS THE ROAD there was THE SAME SHOP ACROSS THE ROAD FACING EACH OTHER MIRROR IMAGE WHAT like seriously fuck im already in a dizzy daze floating halfway out my own body like i didnt need any more evidence im currently in wonderland i want to know this story too, dammit! are those rival stores?? of the same brand?? somehow?? or are they owned by the same person?? because why?? is it like the area was so in-demand of small 24/7 shops that they had to make two within five metres of each other? or is it like they’re the same shop but they didnt have enough space to build the full size they wanted so they purchased two smaller land plots? or something? DID IT JUST EXIST FOR THIS SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCE OF ME NEEDING THE SHOP WHEN THE SHOP IS CLOSED “tumblr blogger tumblunni will show up fuckin migraine stoned on the 9th of november, as the prophecy foretold” omg i just mispelled prophecy as prophey and that sounds like a cute ass oc name holy shit ANYWAY im here dissacoiating my ass off and trying and failing to stick my debit card in the card machine and all the time im like FUCKIN OBSESSING over how sauboh is a really better name. Like faba is still a cute name but sauboh is a COOL name! no name is better than sauboh! and why u wanna this evil man have a cute name anyway?? when u be all cruel in the anime and sand off even the slightest non horrible edges he ever had, like seriously im unreasonably upset that everyone hates faba even more now. when will i get my sneaky science grandpa guy who is not evil for once but merely misunderstood and then i adopt him and hug him many and the all is resolved so yeah im fuckin haviung trouble focusing on what im actually doing jesus christ then i stumble into the store and i pay for my electric and im like ‘no no no fucking shit this migraine is WAY worse than i expected, im going to fucking die’ so i ask if they have any paracetamol but i cant remember the word for paracetamol and its all super embarassing. and like THE GUY LOOKS AT ME AS IF IM CRAZY. He’s all ‘ugh why would we have that, geez’. like wtf?? i mean i know i couldnt remember the name of it but i said ‘headache medicine’ so im sure he understood what i meant. i had a long rambling discussion with the taxi man about how weird that was, he was like ‘no, seriously EVERY 24 hour newsagent sells that stuff’ and i was like ‘no seriously he was rude to me for asking, like wtf’ and then i repeated the story about three more times cos i was currently in the throes of brain death in retrospect maybe the cashier thought i was drunk or something?? or high? i mean you cant get high from headache pills but i dunno maybe they mix badly with booze and he thought he was saving my life. i like to think the best of people! i wish i hadnt jumped to the grumpy conclusion during that moment and then whined like a lil bitch to this poor cab man and seriously he was SO NICE! he was like ‘dude seriously we’d have to drive anothr five miles to find another newsagent shop, im trying to save you money’ and he tried to give me some of the paracetamol he had in his wallet and i was like YOURE SO FUCKIN NICE IM DYING, I COULD NEVER ACCEPT THAT but also in retrospect probably that was a good decision cos even if the guy seemed super nice and trustable its like Good Life Policy to not take medicine from people you don’t know. I am 100% sure tho that he actually was genuine and wasnt gonna fuckin murder me with fakeacetamol HE WAS SO NICE! HIM AND HIS NONDESCRIPT FACIAL REGION! why cant i remember ANYTHING about this man oh and also I was able to give some money to a lady on the street!! i don’t know if she was actually homeless, she said that she had some trouble with a hotel booking or something so she was just stuck sleeping outside for the night. i cant remember if she had any luggage so i cant verify if the story is true, it just made me really sad wondering if it WASNT true and its like she needed to lie or people wouldnt give her money?? like seriously homeless people are the most vunerable yet theyre the ones people have the least sympathy for! wtf having to like like ‘i need the money less’... anyway i also couldnt remember her face and was kinda slurring my words to death and i didnt have much money to give but aaaa i hope i helped!! so yeah fuckin SMASH CUT to the next newsagent place and seriously i swear i blacked out for a minute cos it was just like wow we’re there in 48 seconds yet the clock says a bunch more miles and THEY HAD PARACETALMOL AND I WAS FUCKIN CRYING IN A SPAR MART thenk u cashier man who was probablyh very confused at this guy with no socks also for some reason my mind was wandering to the topic of what i’d do if i got misgendered in a cinema, like holding this fuckin entire fictional argument with this manifestation of my own self doubt WHAT EVEN INSPIRED THAT THOUGHT PROCESS so i’m nigh passing out and the nice cab man takes me home and he tries to make me pay less than the fee on the clock and im like NO DUDE IT WAS MY OWN CHOICE TO GO 2 PARACETAMOL SHOP seriously he was SO NICE why cant i remember his faaaaaace and i usually like to give a tip to the taxi guy even though tipping isnt really a thing in my country cos just i feel like Being Nice Is Nice and i want to thank them for their nice but i DIDNT HAVE ANY MORE MONEY LEFT so aaaa i was only able to give him an extra £0.50 but thank you taxi man i hope you have a good night and good life and the universe rewards you for helping a migraine fucked bunbun this eve and now ive shoved medicines in my fave and im just waiting for them to kick in and i know i should eat something but i feel so nauseous aaarglefargle also nice taxi man told me a story about how the same thing happened to him once except the electric went out while he was in the shower. So he just got blasted by cold water AND had to stumble down the stairs in the dark, and then friggin buy electric while his ears were still fulla soap. Whoa dude your bravery in face of embarassment exceeds my own! i love you platonically mr cab man thanks for making me feel less nervous and such while i was Die so yeah hopefully i will be less die soon ok bye also sauboh is a best name and i need to steal it for an oc or something NINTEND U LET IT SLIP AWAY

[pockyandmash-blog]

and so the adventure begins

hello friends! today marks my FIRST morning waking up in London in my new home. and boyyy was it an adventure getting here. so i’m just going to give you the full run down (it’s quite long so nobody will probably read it but idc):

so sept. 12th was the day that i officially left. my friend pedro and I had a flight that took off from DFW at 6:15 PM. So that means we had the ENTIRE DAY to stress about this upcoming adventure. And stress we did. (You can ask Amber, I sent her many texts) i started my morning off by having cinnamon coffee (my familys STAPLE) in my most favorite place in my house (because i think my fam is moving so idk if they’ll be there when i get back). Then I went on to cook some breakfast. This included an ENTIRE pack of bacon because lets be real - i’m hype to try this english bacon, but american bacon will forever have a place in my heart. 

from here i finished packing which btw i was gonna post this cute post with like pictures and all the stuff i packed so that i could be cool or whatever. but honestly my aunt packed my suitcase because i had no idae what the heck i was doing so im sorry :D either way, from there we moved on to get our LAST AMERICAN MEAL which ended up being in-n-out burger. Yeah i know i live in texas and my last meal wasnt whataburger. SO WHAT. okay. that aside, finally it was time to leave which was like very surreal and insane.

I said goodbye to my little cousin Zach (i sobbed and he didn’t shed a tear). I said goodbye to my grandma. And then we were off. We road with my aunt who proceeded to tell us how amazing this was going to be and i proceeded to cry because seriously i love my family haha i am a mess. so at the airport we went through security relatively quick. I had to say goodbye to my aunt (which was hard) but we made it. And finally we found our gate! we had some time to spare...so pedro and i got a margarita before we left. who knows if we’ll find good ones in London!? 

so we sat around and finally boarded. pedro and i were on the back of the plane, however like our seats were so roomy and comfortable i was SHOOK. it was a huge plane, the biggest i’d ever been on before (three seats, four seats, three seats). however i must say the flight was fairly uneventful. We watched movies and attempted to sleep and had crappy airplane food and lots of wine. so in my eyes it was a pretty good time.

finally we landed in London. Which was insane to us, it felt so surreal! customs went by fast which was AWESOME and finally it was time to get our uber to where we were going. except. well. for some reason the uber app wouldn’t accept ANY form of payment (i have my cards set that im going to london, i promise that wasn’t it). Like even paypal? or pedros card? so here we are at heathrow airport trying to figure out how to get to about 45 minutes south of london with no car. i know you’re all thinking ‘oh kara why didnt u take the tube london is all about public transportation!?’ YES I KNOW BUT LOOK WE HAD SO MUCH LUGGAGE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO HARD AND WE WERE SO TIRED. so we took a taxi to the train station. which was pretty cool minus the traffic and the price. we got to see some of London! particularly trafalgar square and the london eye! well either way, after a two hour taxi ride, we finally make it to the station. TURNS OUT THERE ARE TRAIN DELAYS due to some signaling issue. So we get an oyster card since we have time to kill anyway and we sit and wait. the scariest thing was that there was no guarantee that our train would actually show up or not. like they had no idea. BUT IT DID.

on the trian we met the sweetest girl who helped us carry luggage to our dorm. and let me just say SIDCUP IS THE CUTEST TOWN OH MY GOD. i promise to upload plenty of pics because this place is precious. wow. either way finally we MAKE IT to our rooms and get to set all our stuff down. and from here pedro and i are like AHHH WHAT NOW. honestly we wanted to go to sleep but we had to fight off that jetlag so we decided to go adventure! we went to find where our college was. we got a bit lost, but found our way eventually. its about a 15 minute walk from where we live which isnt so bad! and then we headed off to Bexelyheath which is about 30 minutes via train from where we are at to get me a phone plan. (that international shit is too expensive).

so after getting ripped off and told many lies about how all the plans work and also being asked for a credit check (but i didnt do it so its okay), we finally found a pay as you go plan that offered data so i could still talk to my family back home. (thank god). from here we headed off to my F A V O R I T E part of the day (i know that sarcasm doesnt work via text so i am here to tell you i am being VERY sarcastic about that favorite bit).

so pedro and i didnt prepare anything for our beds or dorms because we were told by our friends over here that had done this program in the past that they were leaving behind items for us to use! (wow so helpful so nice) well turns out they couldnt find them and so we were in essential limbo all day. until we go to meet up with our friend who was helping us out. she was super duper awesome and gave us many hints on how to survive and also glasses of champagne. however, she didn’t really come through on our bedding. Pedro and I had to wait up until 10 PM (keep in mind weve been awake well past 24 hours by now) to get the stuff. and FINALLY IT ARRIVES. except it is disgusting. like literally bugs were in it. they were all stained. they had been in a garage for months.

so here it is. 10 pm. we have no bedding. no towels. nothing. and everything is closed. so. naturally i showered and used my cardigan as a towel and stuffed my sweaters up to make a pillow to sleep. which was pretty damn awful and my neck is feeling it todayyyy but i still awoke to the beautiful town of Sidcup and Pedro and I are ready to take on the rest of the day.

so thats it folks. i’ll update you soon on the actual adventure to get bedding. and maybe some feelings that im feeling about this big move (because honestly im a mess lol) but stay cool kids.

[rachelisnotatwork]

Iceland: finally we see the light!

The worst bit about flying to Iceland, or I should probably add flying to Iceland when you are too cheap to pay for a decent airline, is that you have to dress like you are going on a solo trek to the South Pole in order to reduce the weight in your suitcase. Luckily it was quite cold the day we left but we were still glowing, red-faced, as we headed to the airport wearing snow boots, scarves, big coats, all our heaviest stuff in our hand luggage etc.

The flight there was pretty uneventful and it was a beautifully clear day, which meant for good views over the sleeping tourist by the window. When we arrived we just had to pick up our car and go.

Now by this stage in the “life of constant holidays” game, we are pretty much Hertz deluxe members which means what normally happens is we book a smart car and turn up to be upgraded to a minibus. Often we have to scale back the excesses of the upgrade because we don’t want the hassle of trying to park a giant car/fuelling up a giant car. So we were pretty confident that whilst we’d booked a tiny and shit car, that wouldn’t be what we were given. Well that smugness came to an abrupt end when we collected our tiny and shit car. Turns out that Iceland isn’t one of those free upgrade locations...and car rental is expensive here so they had no desire to give us a freebie. So we puttered into town in our tiny and shit car, a journey made far more stressful than it needed to be by the fact that Marcel’s phone is an early adopter of Brexit and the GPS locator dot on google maps only seems to work in the UK. After a lot of swearing we did make it to our surprisingly chilly airbnb. It was in a converted garage and the host had made the interesting decision not to install an extractor fan but instead keep the windows open 24/7 (in Iceland electricity is pretty much free so no one cares about their heating bills). We closed the windows because the humidity definitely wasn’t our problem. 

We decided in the evening we’d go to the Pizza Restaurant we liked, so we headed into town, struggled to park (there’s a lot of snow, which means getting a tiny shit car into a space is quite hard) and skittered down the pavement in the -10c weather to the restaurant. Only to find it had stopped being a pizza joint last week and was now trialling its new menu. I wasn’t hugely keen as they didn’t have much of a vegetarian selection but Marcel didn’t want to re-park or go out walking in the cold so decided to stick with it.

I asked for a pearl barley dish, without the lamb that was supposed to be on top of it. Marcel selected their rutabaga dish. I advised him not to select this as vegetarian is always interpreted in expensive restaurants as “on a diet”. He said I was being silly and it would be a decent portion. He ended up with a palm-sized dish of pureed rutabaga with some crispy slices of it on top. Didn’t want to say “I told you so” but felt I had to, because that’s what life is like in a long-term relationship. 

The next day we headed out of town after a delicious breakfast somewhere that looked like a construction site, but was actually a decent cafe. We had quite a long way to drive so we decided we’d drive straight out to Vik and lunch there. As we headed out of town, the roads got pretty icy and once the wind picked up there were drifts of snow on the road. Always reassuring to see some people digging out a 4 x 4 that’s skidded off the road when you are in a tiny 2WD city car with about 4 inches of clearance.

We had lunch in Vik, which has got much busier since the last time we were there (it has 2 places you can lunch now rather than one) and went for a quick but windy walk on the beach, before setting off again.

We wanted to visit Jökulsárlón the next day in the morning and since there’s not much in the way of accommodation in those parts we had booked into a place called the Fosshotel Glacier Lagoon. It was surprisingly busy and we had to park right the other side of the car park. In my business putting on my gloves, I completely failed to notice Marcel getting out the car and immediately falling over on the ice, but thankfully he was uninjured and thus was able to complete his usual suitcase duties.

Our room had a pretty nice window seat overlooking the view down to the sea so we snuggled up on there and read books before dinner. The only option was the hotel restaurant and I decided I didn’t want to know how much I was going to pay for dinner so refused to do the conversions. It was an...interesting meal. My starter involved so much horse radish I spent the rest of dinner constantly wanting to sneeze. We’d decided we wanted to go hang out in the sauna after dinner so were slightly impatiently waiting for the bill, which they were tardy bringing. The delay was soon compensated for though by the announcement from the staff just after we’d paid our bill that the Northern lights were visible outside. We immediately stampeded onto the balcony to see a very impressive green streak of light across the sky.

We were torn between “this could disappear any second” and “I’m really cold and I want to go get my coat” so in the end we made a mad dash for our room, layers and my camera. Maddeningly, I almost always bring my tripod with me on holiday, but this time pressed for space and weight and with so many unsuccessful trips behind us I’d not bothered. I’m not sure I’d have photographed things much better with it though, because I hadn’t really appreciated that there’s nothing really to focus on through your view finder when what you are trying to photograph is green shimmering light on a black background. I tried though.

It did look amazing. We walked out to the front of the hotel (which incidentally involved us and a bunch of other guests stampeding past the sauna full of confused nude people to get out the quickest exit) and stood in the snow, watching the green waves slowly undulate and shiver across the sky. I hadn’t really got a grasp on the speed of how they move before. Sometimes they seemed like they barely moved at all, and indeed for at least an hour there was one solid green band across the sky that didn’t really change. In other areas you had to look at the edges to notice any movement at all. But occasionally something rapid would furl and unfurl and move across the whole sky in 10-20 seconds.

The other thing that I hadn’t anticipated is that I guess the light in the atmosphere warps our perception of the light from the stars so they looked very unfamiliar. Much bluer than normal and Sirius was swapping between flashing blue and orange so rapidly we thought it was a plane for a while.

Eventually we got cold so went back inside and sat on our window seat and watched it until about midnight. After that it had got pretty dim and we decided we’d better shut the blinds or neither of us would really get any sleep.

The next morning we rose with the dawn and headed over to Jökulsárlón. We did not want to pay 28 euros a head for breakfast in our hotel and we’d vaguely remembered there was a cafe there, so we decided to eat there. I don’t remember the food options being so basic last time. It has also got considerably busier so the indoor toilet is no longer open to visitors and we had to go out to the (thankfully perfectly clean) portaloos in the car park which were absolutely freezing. Climbing up a small hillock to look over the lagoon exposed us to such lacerating winds that my phone promptly went from 98% battery to 9% from the horrors of the cold. I had to tuck it inside all my layers to keep it alive. It was beautiful though.

There are two things to see at Jökulsárlón- the lagoon where ice bergs calve and you can see cute seals pop in and out between them and the so-called Diamond Beach where the ice bergs meet the sea and often get washed up on the shore. Last time we’d driven between the two sites but with the thick snow on the ground we didn’t dare take our car to the beach and instead plodded through the deep snow and strong winds over there.

It was beautiful, especially since unlike last time the sun was out and was glittering through the ice. However the wind was so cold it burnt my face, which ended up really painful and weirdly bright red on one side by the time we returned to the car.

We had gone to Jökulsárlón quite early because we had another 5 hours drive ahead to our Airbnb in Seyðisfjörður. The only reason we’d come back to Iceland was we’d loved our airbnb in Seyðisfjörður so much the last time we’d been there that we resolved we’d return one winter and just hang out there. And this was our plan.

The views as we drove east were spectacular. 

The road conditions driving out east were….pretty appalling. After Jökulsárlón, there aren’t many tourists which means there really isn’t much traffic. I think we saw more reindeers than cars as we fishtailed on ice and wondered why in the hell they only had crash barriers off the side of some of the roads that hooked around cliffs over the sea. At one point we drove past an abandoned van on it’s side with “accident” tape around it. By the time it was getting dark there was such a high wind driving over one of the passes you couldn’t see more than the 5m road marking pole in front of you. Which is when you really rue your car rental choices of a Kia Rio.

The winds had at least calmed down a bit by the time we arrived in Seyðisfjörður. All we had to do was get up our drive to our airbnb overlooking the valley. I said to Marcel I hoped the car would make it. He said he wouldn’t mind if we got stuck in the snow now because we could walk to our airbnb. He had to say that...seconds later our car gently skidded off the road and into the huge snow bank on the side of the drive.

Our hosts had apparently been supposed to email saying meet them in the town because the drive way had been blocked by a lot of snow, but they hadn’t. However they did use their monster truck to spend the next 45 minutes extracting us from the snowbank, so swings and roundabouts. In the end we ended up leaving our car at their house in town and getting a lift up to our cabin with our stuff. Thankfully we’d already done a shop and planned to self-cater so we could recuperate from the long and slightly terrifying drive with a soak in the hot tub and dinner.

Our hosts had been very emphatic that we could ask them for lifts in and out of town whenever we wanted, but a combination of Britishness and embarrassment about disturbing their dinner to get them to dig our car out meant that we decided to walk into town instead. It was a pretty gentle and pleasant 2.5km downhill and we felt very smug especially when we saw some locals “walking” their dog by driving slowly as the dog chased the car (later saw the tracks of someone who’d been driving their snowmobile to exercise their dog). 

The supermarket in town was...weirdly British. There were McVities digestives (Marcel discovered the chocolate and caramel ones on this holiday so I ended up having two packets wedged in my pocket for the journey home). Suede was playing over the tannoy. And a woman, who turned out to be the owner with a very strong midlands accent on the till. Apparently she met her Icelandic husband in Nottingham.

We pottered back up the hill (slightly less pleasant walk against gravity and into the wind when it is -12c outside) and spent the rest of the day living the dream eating biscuits, reading books and popping in and out of the hot tub. Just as good as I remembered it.

The next day we got slightly more adventurous and decided to go on a little snowshoeing adventure. It was -14c out and REALLY windy so I decided I didn’t want to venture far. Marcel wanted to go on the ridge behind our cottage but I said it looked avalanchy so we continued along our level of the valley a bit further. I love snowshoeing but our tracks were getting covered in seconds with the waves of snow blowing across the ground and it was incredibly cold so we only stayed out for about half an hour. When we got back Marcel said he was going to ask our hosts if it were safe to go up higher into the mountains but his conclusion was that it couldn’t be an avalanche risk area or they wouldn’t have built the town there. A quick google later and we discovered that the town is the site of Iceland’s worst ever avalanche tragedy with 24 people killed at the end of the 19th century and a factory flattened at the end of the 20th century. After that we decided to stick to the hot tub in safer activities.

The next day, despite stocking up on enough chocolate digestives to last several lifetimes, we had to go back into town to start our car because we’d forgotten that car batteries don’t really like it brutally cold. So down to town we pottered. Problem was, Marcel forgot that key fob batteries also don’t like it cold and he’d left the fob in an outer pocket. So when we got to the car we couldn’t remotely open it. We had to manually open it with the key in the lock, which triggered the alarm to go off. I think our hosts, whose house we’d parked outside, were fairly sure we were actually handicapped when it came to motor vehicles. We drove the car around a little bit and then tried to park it again, only to find ourselves menaced by a goose. I know this sounds like a joke but it was hanging out in our parking space, wouldn’t move and then tried to get inside our car. We had to lure it away with crisps (not sure if salt and vinegar crisps are good for geese. If anyone found a dead goose later that day, sorry[ish]). 

We pottered back up the hill and settled down to the rest of the day; an exhausting cycle of hot tub and reading in our beautiful cottage.

By the night time it had started to lightly snow. We decided we’d have a really long final hot tub soak so lazed in there like hippos. I was trying to catch some snowflakes on my tongue (sod’s law, none seemed to fall in my mouth but they kept repeatedly landing directly on my eyeballs) and suddenly we saw the northern lights again. Which was incredibly luck considering the night was reasonably cloudy. They whirled around for about 5 minutes and then disappeared, which was a very nice last evening at our cottage.

The next day we nervously checked the road conditions and headed off. Going south there was a huge storm forecast and the road was pretty much out of bounds. Luckily we were heading back to Reyjavik via the northern route. Step one of the journey was get over the pass to Egilsstaðir. No problem. The next step of the journey, which was between Egilsstaðir and Mývatn, is the least driven part of the circular road around Iceland, Route 1. We drove for about an hour. All was well. Then we noticed some cars slowing down ahead to find that the snow had drifted across an uphill portion of the road, where a little car had skidded and got stuck on the opposite side of the road (not dangerous, because there’s about 10 cars an hour on this road). This was unsettling to us in our tiny Kia as we clearly couldn’t turn around as the Southern roads were out, there is no other road ploughed at this time of year to get around this, and our car was clearly no better suited to it than the skidded car that a jeep was now trying to rescue. Marcel got out of the car and walked the hill to better look at it. We had zero phone reception (annoyingly we did at most places along the route but we had none there) to call the roads number to see when the next snowplough was due. So in the end we decided to risk it. We skidded and skittered but we eventually made it through!  Which was both good and bad as now we were aware that if we hit any further bad road conditions we’d be really screwed as we’d be unlikely to be able to go back the way we came as the snow was continuing to drift. We did however make it to Mývatn okay, which was good because after that the road is a bit more used so a bit more ploughed.

We had lunch in the cow restaurant we’d been to before and ate rye bread cooked in a lava vent and looked out the window at the 3ft of snow piled outside and debated thermal baths over further snowshoeing. 

There was however a road that wasn’t ploughed in winter but led up to a caldera, which we thought might be nice to snowshoe on as would have a level terrain under the snow and a decent end point. So we drove down there….only to find that some extremely optimistic/dim tourist had decided to drive their 2wd small car on what was clearly an unploughed road with several feet of snow on it and got stuck, and now the entrance to the unploughed road was filled with vehicles trying to rescue them. With our plans to snowshoe thwarted, we decided to head to the Mývatn baths.

The downside of this is that they turned out to be in a selectively extremely windy spot. We got out the car to find a wind speed best described as “scouring”. We are made of stern stuff though so headed bravely onwards. The pools are obviously hot, but the wind was so strong it was generating waves in the pool (fine) and then breaking those waves into spray in the air. Which meant the only tolerable thing to do was float on your back with only your nose and mouth above water. Unfortunately I suffer from a terrible affliction known as “extremely buoyant legs” so struggled over the next hour to stop them surfacing and exposing my feet and knees to a little light hypothermia. I ended up tucking them under Marcel’s legs which are incredibly unbuoyant (how lucky that of all the people in the world I found my leg buoyancy opposite).

We eventually got out and drove onto Akureyri. Our accomodation was right in the middle of town on a steep hill. So steep and so badly gritted (which I feel is a strange thing for a road in a pretty big [for Iceland] town in a very snowy part of the world to be) that our car got stuck trying to get up it. Eventually we got enough traction to make it into the car park of our hotel, but we decided to limit dinner choices to “restaurants within walking distance”. Luckily there was a burger joint in our street that we could totter carefully to.

Our final day was 6 hours of driving to get to the airport in time for our flight. Which was pretty stressful. Not going to lie. There seemed to be an uncanny (given how empty the roads were) link between where the snow was thickest and most slippery and the sudden emergence of a large lorry barrelling along in the other direction (the ring road is a single lane in each direction for about 99% of the road). But we made it! With just enough time to collapse with nervous exhaustion and eat some sandwiches before our flight home. Despite the terrors of driving and the discovery that renting a tiny car in winter is only a good idea 75% of the time, it was an amazing relaxing week and also FINALLY we got some decent northern lights!

[josaphire]

The Journey Has Begun. Welcome to Australia!

Welcome to Australia!

To start 2019, I flew to Sydney, Australia. Set aside all hassle before the trip (Visas, tickets, booking room, etc.), this is a great and special trip for me. I, finally, take the courage and all my guts to actually doing the study abroad program, and this definitely will be a good experience. The program is not starting until tomorrow, Jan 13th, and I arrived 2 days early. Thus, I have so much time to walk around and see things.

Arrived to Sydney at about 7ish, it didn't take me so long to go through the customs; actually, it took roughly 5 minutes (or less) to get through the gate. Pheww! The public transportation here, especially the train is great; it really easy to figure out where to go and how to use it. I am very lucky that I did not get lost or getting any trouble using it since I have lived in Delaware since I came to America, and as you know, we rarely use the train (or not using at all). And one thing needs to be noted, I am very very bad at direction; I get lost easily even the most simple road. Finding the train route was terrific, finding the way to the hostel is not so good. For some reason, my activated sim did not allow me to use the internet ( which I found out later that it needed some more manual set up). I had to only rely on my skill, which is not so good, to find the way to the hostel. Walking around the King Cross neighborhood for roughly 30 mins, I still couldn’t find my hostel, and it's raining! ( or actually sprinkling). A kind man and a lovely girl helped me to find it. They were eagerly asked everyone around to help me. Funny enough, that place was right around the corner, its entrance just is in a different street. I was like, I found the hostel's wifi but I couldn't find the physical place. Weird, right? Long story short, I found the place; the party people over there help me to bring my luggage upstairs, which was very nice of them. The place I stayed is a backpacker's place; it's full of young, adventurous people. Staying in a mixed gender, dorm-like hostel is so new to me, but somehow, it's still a great experience.

Getting up early in the morning ( due to the jet lag, I guess) I have the chance to get out of the house and explore a couple of places around. Being a cheap thrill, I tried to find a free destination to visit, but first, I need to check in to the most popular destination in Sydney, the Sydney Opera House.

The weather in Sydney today is perfect to walk around, so I take this chance, going around the harbor, visiting the Royal Botanical Garden, Eating Vietnamese food in Koreatown ( which is definitely weird), and found World Square Center !!!!. I'm still a little bit jet lag, but bubble tea saves the day! For now, I'm having a lot of fun by myself, but I can't wait for my people to come here and hanging out together. What's next? I don't know, but one thing I know for sure, my journey has just begun!

With love,

Anh.

[kristanyeo492984-blog]

ftv zeba - Things You Won't Like About Ftv Sexy Models And Things You Will

For years it had been a thorn in my heart , but since few days it has been like a beutiful thing a beutiful romance , may be i have matured enough. dad Wanted me to go to the city college which was 12 hrs train journey , and there was a entrance exam for that for 5 days , dad was busy so he had booked fashion tv sex images tickets for me and mom . So thought of sharing this with you , its a beutiful thing its about my mom who had 5 days of getway from the household life and i am sure she must be relishing beutiful memories.

So dont get bored already and hit the back button this is beutiful but also very erotic i sometimes still masturbate thhinging of it. I will be elaborating this and will compile in parts because i would like to register every moment of it. Really some times i used to wonder mom could have easily married a handsome more romantic rich man. i am from india , small town , small family me mom and dad, dad was working as a bank manager , mom was a housewife married early , spent most of the time doing household work and her spare time included wathching tv. we adjusted and setteled mom liked the window seat so i gave it to her. Mom was medium height, fair with not plump not skiny, beutiful middleages figure , she had beutiful sensual face , especially her lips and nose,her bust was perfect and she had not gained extra fat , she used to wear beautifull colored sarees that went with her skin and her blouses were were in perfect shape not too low cut her navel was sligtly exposed just to show a small glips of her fair tummy , men used to give her the looks , and scan her. they settled on the seat opposite to us. at next station man about 48-50 and his daughter around 15 enterd with their luggage, he was dressed in jeans and t-shirt good looking, and looked much younger for his physic. She was 42 when this happened , i had passed matriculation exam and was 15 yrs old , and the ileana tight process of searching and securing admission for colleges had begun , india is populated country and there is cut throat competition every where. the man took a newspaper and started reading. Mom was very beutiful but conservative woman, though she used to keep her self moderately fashionable in housewives term , like cutting and shaping her hair , doing eyebrows, facials etc for functions and all, and she did like to flaunt her beauty , every woman does. Mom hesitated she was not so practical about things most of the time she spen was in house hold work , she was well educated but being a non working woman she had not developed that practicality , and she had never gone out with out dad , but there was no other option now , dad was busy he was always busy and off late spent very little time with me and mom. i had taken the side birt and layed on the pillow and started studying. the daughter took her walk man and went on the upper birth and started reading a book. so the day came and we boarded the train ,the train was almost empty since it was not the holiday season, our compartment had a older couple seated on side lower birth. he asked her where we were heading , she told him about my entrance , he laughed and said they were on the same endeavor. the daughter on the birth had gone to sleep it was only 7 0 clock. his glipse were getting obvious with a little more time, mom looked at him once and saw he staring at her , she adjusted her saree and looked out , he turned his head away immediately. he got up and waked his daughter up she came down and he told her about us , he called me , i went from the side birth and we were sitting together. i took my entrace prepartion books alison and lia started studying. hi all this little incidence happened 15 years back and i have still kept a secret untill now. If you have any inquiries about wherever and how to use fashion tv sex images, you can get in touch with us at our web-site. after a while the daughter went back to the birth and i to the side birth and started studying. Mom laughed and said its ok, she must be intelligent he lauged it off, i saw mom getting more comfortable talking to im now she started asking about his native , how often does he come to india . he introduced his daughter to me ,he asked why my dad had not come i told him about his busy scedule ,he looked at mom and said not to worry he will take care of all arrangements for us hotel bookings and droping us to the exam hall every day. Mom used to turn on talking about her college days her professors and all , this made her looose all her inhibitions and their conversation went on about the proffesors and collegues and all. The ter man said your son is studios look at ny daughter she doesn even care. After a while mom got up to take her bag from the rack above but couldnt reach it , the man immediately got up and reached and gave her the back , mom muttered a thankyou and gave a smile he smiled back saying you ftvgirls photo are welcome. it came out he was from our native place and he studied in the same college as mom . After a while i saw the man had stopped reading the newspaper and looking out the window , both mom and him were oppsosite each other on the window seats and he was having a glimpse of mom every now and then , mom was a beautiful woman and men used to stare at her and i used to get uncomfortable going out with mom for shopping and all especiall when dad was not around , and this was a first time were going alone for 5 days. there a brief silence and then mom said , i think i better sleep , other wise i will drowsy tomorrow, he said ya sure even i am about to doze. so we ate and he commented to mom that she is a wonderful cook , mom commented no , your wife must me cooking better, he said with a sad voice that his wife expired 5 yrs back , mom was taken back , it must have been difficukt for the girls , he said yes but his sister has filled in the role and taken good care of her daugld hhter , i feel sorry for mydaughter more he his daughters shoulder, we finished and i went up on the upper birth to sleep so did shridhars daughter, mom and shridhar still sat, he said he will book rooms for us in same hotel as theirs so it is comfortable to go to exams together, mom said thankyou and said its so nice we met i was worried ftv kristin babes gallery how a dumb housewife like me can manage this. Shridhar said , don t call yourself dumb, i dont know why housewifes call themseleves dump they just put so much in the lifes of their husband and children no working woman can do that, their was silence and mom said, it must have been difficult for you , he said yes its always difficult for a man with out a woman, life becomes so painfull sometimes , forget it . Dinner time arrived and mom called me , she took out what she had packed and offered them ,shridhar said not to bother they will order from the pantry, mom insisted not to eat outside and it unhealthy and that she always packs more, she said their is enough for all of us. For triffle resons i have not slept in my life , and i was so curious about things i always went after. No mom will tell her son. This particular incidence is no different had i been a normal man i wouldnt have chased what was to come and wouldnt have ever known about this , i mean 99 percent of the people dont know that their mom slept with someone else in marriage. well i couldnt sleep and waited for him to come i saw him come finally he sat down at his seat and stared at mom he stared for a while then he got up and came close to her , i bent my neck to see what he is doin and ready to shout if any thing absurd , he took the ends of her shawl adjusted it coverd her and went to sleep. I confirmed he was a good man, perhaps lonely and may be he liked mom , but as a good man he behaved knowing she is a married woman , i felt no doubt he was a good man. Mom got her shawl and went to sleep on the lower birth , he turned of the light and went to sleep on the opposite lower birth, he closed his eyes and seemed like going to sleep , i couldnt sleep because from top i caould easily see him , after a while i saw him getting up and took his bag from the rack , from the bag he took out what looked like a bottle of booze and went in to the corrider i got up and went behind him from ftv frv girl samantha a distance i saw him drinking and smoking i went back on my birth i saw mom was sleeping , her shwal had come down and her saree pallu had come down her beutiful face and her mountain of womanly breasts were showing , i couldnt wake her up and now my mind raced , shridhar will come drunk and see mom , god i couldnt sleep . he told his name was sridhar , she said she kind of recollects him as a senior. he told us he works in australia and come come specifically for his daughters admission. i climbed up on my birth and waited , i was over cautious and dirty minded all my life , part of the reason i think now the reson i havent grown up in life. I had mixed feelings never seen mom like that , getting so comfortable in no time , he was a good looking charming guy , nice shoulders and built thick trimmed mustache , mom was beutiful ,any mans desire, until she resisted, but here it was like a bolt sudden it was not much just a formal conversation but , to me, had never seen mom like that talking to a stranger so freeely.

[aplacetoclosemyeyes]

day 1 retrospective (120118/130118/140118)

Typing this on the morning of the 14th, because Lord knows I could barely function yesterday.

It was a long day, both literally and emotionally, and oh my just thinking about it thinking about everything is... ok.

pull yourself together.

You see, this is the reason previoue attempts at journalling never worked out. I was either too worked up to write, writing meant thinking meant pain, or I didn't need to anymore.

Ok so. Let's go. (Hey ho / let's go)

(I need to listen to some music which doesn't make me sad which is difficult).

The more I think the more how much everything is driving me to the brink of a breakdown (and yesterday oh yesterday it did) the more I feel ridiculous and pathetic and HOLD YOURSELF TOGETHER YOU IDIOT.

Lord help me. I pray.

Thanks.

I want ny permanent single room so I can cry and let it out then feel better. Anyway.

So yesterday started in Singapore. Home. Met M and B for a "farewell" lunch because I told them not to send me off because it would be awkward. B travelled a long way and got special permiseion to go to work late so that was nice. We had japanese food at Watami at the Star Vista. I had ramen. The ramen wasn:t good but the soup and meat were (I want ramen, I went looking here and found a place but it was "opening soon"). In hindsight I probably wanted something warm and familiar here, which was consciously part of the reason for having thai noodle soup later.

B left to go the MRT. We saw her off. It was strange.

I walked M home to talk, because there was nowhere else to go. A goodbye hug. Hugs are awkward because I am both super uncomfortable with being touched and extremely touch-starved and often wish I could have a hug.

I wasted away the rest of the day (well, until 5pm, when I was to pack my computer) playing overwatch and watching some videos. I knew it'd be the last time in quite awhile and I wanted to just relax. I want to be there again doing that again. Final packing was sobering.

Wow this is actually helping a bit. Passing the time and not falling apart. Soon, at 8, I can get some breakfast. Later I'll be able to pack my stuff properly in my bunk, when the others are awake and won't mind. Time now is 0724. At home it's 1424.

Back to the past.

What was dinner? I can't remember. Something simple, at home. Fried noodles? I could go for some. Starting to feel hungry. Dinner was small and early.

Mom's texting. Sis was at one point too, but she's busy now. I take much comfort from this.

After dinner was when things started to kick in. I hung around at home, everything packed. Didn't want to touch anything so all I basically did was watch Kyle Hill Because Science videos on my phone. I'm a nerd and proud. It means I have things to do when I don't. I could feel the trip coming. (Hah)

Late night travel to the airport for the 0130 flight. Check in was smooth. Dad and bro were making things more stressful. Managed to use recycled strap shorteners to replace tying of bootlaces with a press-release thing. Felt great about that. Almost ate a long-gone-bad pao. Tried to have some macaroni soup, chicken rice stall style. Friend of mine asked for details earlier and hinted that some might come to see me off. I told them not to. They didn't come.

Immigration. Then tried to enter the Gate early by accident. Police told me to wait. When I got to go through I had to remove my boots. Problem: apparently I couldn't. Found out after quite a bit of trying. Had to remove the tightener contraption, unlace, and yank the boots off trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

Boarding. Some holdup. Announcements distorted by the intercomm which I couldn't understand. Missed the call for my section, joined the next one. Got onboard. Got to my seat. This is still all basically familiar, I've flown before (but never alone).

Aisle seat. Both seats to me empty for the longest time... until a tall skinny guy climbs over into the window seat. Still a space inbetween us... until near the end of boarding a really huge fat guy comes to sit inbetween us. He raides the armrest and takes up about a quarter of my space on top of his. I edge away. I still don't think he spoke English so whenever he said something and I replied neither of us understood each other exactly.

Food. It was okay. No idea what it was. Airplane cuisine?

Sleep was terrible. In retrospect funny but not at the time. Not at all. So the guy next to me kept edging into my space. So I leaned left, facing the aisle. I think my head fell out of line with the seat several times because I kept waking to being hit in the face. Or, several times, being elbowed by the half-asleep guy to my right. The window-sitter was largely quiet, apart from a few words exchanged with the middle-seater. I'm guessing they spoke Dutch.

I kept checking the time. I never half-slept more than an hour at a shot. After seven of these, I decided I'd had enough, did some quick calculations on time, and watched Wonder Woman. It was okay. Quite predictable but okay. Not too sad or anything, which was good. I prefer to watch movies with friends. Made me think of that.

Last one was Eve no Jikan with M. Then we watched a bit of Net-juu no Susume, which is amazing and now one of my top-ever anime. hashtag relatable.

Arriving at Amsterdam Schipol Airport was a relief. English signs. Familiar things like immigration and baggage collection.

You'll realize this is a long "day". Amsterdam is 7 hours behind Singapore and because of flight time I had to be at the airport the day before. I wanted to remember my last day in Singapore for awhile.

Then the train saga. Man was this stressful. I'd read up aboutthe OV-chipkaart and where to buy it and where to charge it up and that it needed to be authorized for train use. Ticket machines! Great! Easy! Mastercard "temporarily rejected". By two different machines. Which only accept coins or card. Shit.

Went to a shop and tried to buy water and get change in coins. The shopkeep was kind enough to tell me no, but if I was trying to get a ticket I could go over there to buy one from a person, not a machine.

I went, and got a ticket. It did not say which platform. I did not understand the signs. I went down to one, and them asked a security guard. He pointed me to the correct one. Phew.

Got there. Got on the train, barely managed to get my luggage through the passage. Nice guy moved his stuff to help.

Got to the stop. Saw people getting out from another car. Had no idea how to open the door on mine. Nice guy showed me how. Small round unlabeled metal button opened the doors. Thanked him profusely and left.

No idea how to leave the station. Needed to get OV card or have to walk 20min to hostel. Asked info booth about card. Bought and charged at a store. Google maps had given me a platform number for bus. "D". There was a "D12". I went. It was four different platforms connected. A bus was waiting. I found a sign. I checked my phone. I tried to board. My card didnt work. I tried again.

I got on.

Tracked my path on google maps.

Missed my stop.

Walked 20min in the cold, missing my turn twice.

Bags heavy.

Arrived.

Registered. Time now 0930. Room ready.... 1500 (turned out to be 1600).

locker didnt fit big bag. locked com.

headache

went out to scout for food

everything closed

headache

broke

down

talked to my mom a bit. rested a bit. prayed.

went for lunch. nauseous. had thai food with some warm jasmine tea. Drank and ate so slowly I got asked if the food was ok (and not just a normal question, the lady didnt ask the other customers who came later).

felt better

floor wobbling.

rested

waited

got room. did sheets. settled a bit.

bought a cheap sandwich from supermarket and took meds. probably too early.

showered and slept early. woke early. couldnt sleep again because of man snoring and coughing.

here I am.

there is something wrong with the showers they literally scald.

waiting for breakfast and planning.

[tumblunni]

I wish I could hug y'all!

In fact I think I will make it A LIFE GOAL I really really wanna someday be able to visit all my friends who live in different countries! Its something good to save up for, even if it'll probably take years. So.. lets randomly ramble in a journal about Plans!! IDEA THE FIRST TRIP THE FIRST FIRST THE FIRST: THE SEQUEL I think it'd probably make sense to go to america first, since i have a lot of close friends living there and I don't need to learn another language. (I am notoriously dumb...) But then afterwards I could set another goal to save up and visit another friend in another country! IT WILL NEVER ENDDDDD, THATS WHY ITS CALLED FRIENNNNDDDDD So far all I have confirmed is that two of my friends would be happy to see me if I was able to visit america, @darkeiya and @summon-daze But its not like I've exactly asked everyone else, so I dunno really how many people I might be able to visit. And it depends on time constraints too, i might only be able to spend a full day or two with the closest friends and maybe then if there's more than three of us we could all meet up together and hang out en masse? Depends on how tricky it'd be for everyone to get to the same place! SO! PLANS AND THINGS I NEED TO PREPARE! workin to figure out a precise money goal im gonna save for * Become Fab * no but srsly i wanna look my best if im meeting friends in person for the first ever time. need to acquire Cool T-Shirts * figure out what exactly you can and cannot take on an aeroplane, and how to deal with anxiety if i cant take electronics. Nothing's as distracting as videogames when you're freakin out! * DO NOT SCHEDULE ANYTHING ON THE 11th-14th OF THE MONTH. i have a bad history of my period landing on these days ONLY when i have to do something important. Or when its my birthday :P I dont need even more reason to feel nauseous on a plane! * figure out how many days the stay will be, and how many clothes etc I need to bring. probably a basic thing, but this is my first time going on a holiday alone so i need to write stuff down to make sure i remember! * figure out how long exactly I want to spend with each friend, and how long I can afford in hotel fees. And does a plane ticket cos more if you're staying for longer? * find out what kind of luggages are easiest to carry and how to carry three luggages when i have two hands. Can you tie them together and make a luggages train??? * Find some sort of secure way to carry large amounts of money. I'm gonna have to do that since I need to get all my currency converted before I go. I was thinking maybe a little matchbox tin chained to the inside of my coat or around my neck? Something where you couldnt get it without roughhousing with me, and it'd still be hard to pull it off the chain. Gives me a precious few extra minutes to yell for help/possibly bludgeon a guy with a suitcase * Figure out hotel(s) in different areas of america, depending on how far I'll have to travel. And figure out affordable ways to travel the difference if its not a situation where the friend can pick me up. And make sure they are cool hotels, not just the absolute minimum! i wanna make a fun tourist experience of the hotels!! I havent been in a hotel since I was a kid! * Possibly schedule it like a 'safehouse' thing? Returning to home base! I need to make sure I schedule around the potential anxiety of doing so much travel in a new place. So maybe schedule it out so I have a period of me-time in between visiting each friend? Itd probably cost too much to rent a hotel room for an entire day in between so maybe just schedule it out so I have half a day at least. I dunno if hotels allow you to sleep in all day tho, are there rules about what time you need to be up and out? * I'm kinda looking forward to using hotel beds and showers cos theyre like luxury compared to my house XD man, I wonder if I could get a place with a hot tub?? or the fabled mini-bar?? (which i would drink nothing of, but it would be fun to take photos!) And it'd be so cool to see what american breakfasts are like! And lol all my friends have just been like 'YOU NEED TO SEE OUR LOCAL RESTAURANTS' and im like... dude, i dont need to get fatter XD lets limit it to ONE! * I dunno if my friends would just wanna hang out in their local mall or something, or if I could visit their house and say hi to their family? that might be going too far. i'll still bring gifts they can give to their family tho, i wanna show my appreciation to everyone!! * are you allowed to bring extra empty suitcases onto the plane with you? I'm anticipating that knowing myself im probably gonna buy enough souveniers to need one. I'm planning to basically have half the money be for travel and then half again is just for buying NOVELTY HATS! * need to make sure to finally get a passport, and also consult heavily with my support worker and friends to make sure i have every form of travel documentation in order. I know stuff is... not good, in america right now. Thats probably why it'd be good that it'd take me years to save up for a visit, hopefully i'd be there after the next election. But I need to prepare anyway, in case border control is even more stringent. * Prepare the 'ol misgendering, because getting strip searched and treated as a suspicious threat is a very big reality for trans people. Having the wrong gender marker on your birth certificate is treated as 'this passport must be a forgery' rather than.. yknow.. transgender people exist. And then you need to be invasively handled by the guards to make sure you aren't packing explosives down your goddamn pants, they have to inspect the parts of you that you're most self concious about. *shudder* I've heard a lot of horror stories. I dunno if america is any better about it. But yeah I'm probably gonna have to just pass as female during boarding and hotels and stuff, and not wear my binder til i get to meet my friends. Saves trouble... Man, I might have to even go buy some more cliche feminine outfits or something, to make sure. Itd be fun burning them afterwards, I guess... * BRING GIFTS FOR FRIENDS N FAMILY! Figure out what is and isnt allowed to be transferred between countries. As far as I know I cant bring any form of food or drink right? I'm only allowed to eat the in-flight meals? Thats a shame cos I wanted to bring welsh cakes, theyre the only one of our local delicacies that's not a super acquired taste. (I tried bara bryth for the first time and DIED) And I dunno if anyone would be interested in silly souveniers of my country but I could get a pile of em if you are! Want an eight foot tall lovespoon? Want a giant inflatable daffodil? Want a bazillion ceramic dragons? * I am determined to bring at least one personalized super awesome gift for each person! It might just be an expensive merchandise of their fave show, it might be some form of handmade handicraft of one of their ocs! whatever I'm able to do! ^_^ * BRING SKETCHBOOKS SO WE CAN DRAW TOGETHER. LEARN THE WAYS OF THE AMERICAN MASTERS. * hey does anyone wanna trade trading cards yo. They'd be like the single easiest thing to bring with me, but I only have a handful of pokemon ones and i only really have one friend that I know likes yugioh. (And she's in england) * WE CAN FOOL AROUND LIKE DOOFS. God willing, if anyone wants to join me I will play water balloon tennis or jalapeno roulette or any sort of insane friend activity you can think of!! Gotta make up for the fact im a boring teetotaler. Tho lol I probably already act more drunk than the real drunks at a party XD * TAKE A LOT OF PHOTOS!! And possibly try and acquire a portable video camera? I'd only photo/video anyone if they gave me permission, and I wouldnt post it online unless I also had permission for that. I just wanna make a lot of memories and record them forever! Whenever I feel down, I can remember this amazing trip!!! * remember to get one of those plug adaptor thingies cos american plugs have one less prong. Gotta trade the pokeymons!! I know I can already do that easily online but BATTLING IN PERSON WOULD BE EPIC * ...bring an Ash cosplay? XD * no but seriously if i could schedule this right to coincide with an american convention or something that'd be awesome! EVEN MORE SOUVENIERS! And I could actually try cosplaying!! I'd have to find a character that suits me tho, I dont wanna get laughed at like everyone always does with fat people cosplaying thin characters. (Like... almost every character is thin, yo. let people do what they want) * possible idea: magma admin tabitha from pokemon? he's like the only fave I have who's chubby but not like... inherantly a comic relief ugly guy or a seventy year old grandpa. I wanted to do quina quen from final fantasy 9 but I dont think I have the charisma to pull it off. I'd get paranoid if people just treated the character how they treat the character, my brain would twist everything into an insult on my costume or myself XD also I kinda already look like tabitha, tho I'd either have to go without hairdye or like... wear a wig in my natural hair colour. Also his costume is super heavy and sweaty in a convention setting, according to what I;ve heard from other team magma cosplayers. (Makes you wonder how on earth they all wore it on a volcano!) * WHAT IS AN AMERICAN BISCUIT. They look like savoury welshcakes??? Learn about all the language differences! Man I wish I could bring food souveniers back with me, I'd never be able to try every single different foodstuff in america in one day without DYING. AND DYING AGAIN. * Collect product wrappers and advertisements! Its always really interesting to me to see the differences between countries! A friend mailed me an american cola once and the bottle was a whole different shape??? (he also mailed me a bunch of spent shotgun shells, which was kinda terrifying cos I was currently in a christian homeless shelter and I didnt exactly wanna cause trouble XD Apparantly it is totally legal to own unuseable bullets tho, as long as you dont have a gun.) * I dunno if any of my friends would be equally interested in similar things? i could take requests for weird british stuff to bring with me! * for summon-daze specifically: since we are both cuddly honest goofballs of childlike joy, maybe bring some of my plushie collection to show her? I'd usually just bring one as an emergency anti-anxiety measure. Tho the embarassment from having a full on meltdown in public and having to be seen hugging a plush toy to keep from crying means its not 100% effective. Only works good when I'm with people who arent judgmental. Secret pocket gengar plush is good for other times! (I've been squeezing that thing during doctors appointments and nobody noticed!) * extra reason why I'd love to visit my friends: visiting my friends's pets. I have been absolutely blessed by images of dazy's pet cat Pam, and apparantly her family has a few other cats and a dog! O_O WHAT AN AMAZING LIFE YOU LIVE. I always tell her to give pam a hug from me, and I know pam probably wouldnt like me very much when we first meet cos she's shy, but still I'd love to at least see her. I wish cats could somehow know that they give joy to people through the internet! * ...are you allowed to bring medications across the border? is there a procedure I need to go through to be allowed to bring my antidepressants? Would painkillers be allowed too? If not, is there anywhere I could buy plane-bring-onnable headache meds in the lobby or something? Just anticipating that I might get a stress migraine on the plane, cos it'd be my first time ever flying. * are you allowed to take photos out the plane window, if you use a non electronic camera? i know you cant really see anything but panning landscapes but it still sounds awesome!