#and her tailcoat is SO CUTE AAAA

[ariaterramoon]

Sarai — Shane Uniform Breakdown

And here is Sarai's uniform layer breakdown!! I rly love the pose I did for her and I'm using it to make more outfits for her! It's so fun!!!

I know it's just 2 layers, but it's still pretty important to know how those layers work when you draw

And BEHOLD! Sarai's blaster has now been set in stone!! Finally, after years of not drawing it, Sarai officially has a blaster and I ADORE it's design! Taken inspiration from her father, a bit of her brother and the rest is all her own 💜💜 I think it fits her PERFECTLY. It is soooo Sarai

Notes:

Commissioned from The Tailor by Sarai for her 20th birthday

Has no Shane badge or insignia

Asked Red Hook for specialized blaster from the Protector Model Line

Sarai had a hand in designing her uniform and blaster

Padded tailcoat attaches magnetically by the sides

The Protector Model Line includes: Guardian Pro-Fire XT— Defender Slipstream XVL — Sentinel Crossfire Pro (Newly added)

[curewhimsy]

Gender confession

Hey... I know I have gone through the same routine 409283 times before with the same cis outcome, but uh yeah...

I’m questioning my gender identity again.

And this time there’s... (somewhat) of a valid reason?

The reason being, why do I find myself relating and identifying with non-binary characters so much? It’s almost to the point of obsession, albeit not a “weird/creepy” one. I don’t fetishize them. I literally don’t have a distasteful kink for them or anything. But for some reason I vibe so much with them, and it could be because I just feel “different” from society like they do, but there could be a different subconscious reason deep down, perhaps a gender-related one, and I decided to look into it and question myself... again.

Idk why but I relate so much to the concept of straying away from ideal gender norms.

I tried to keep this a secret from Tumblr, because I was sort of “testing” it, and I wouldn’t look credible if I kept switching between cis and “questioning non-binary” like I always do... but I’ve been thinking myself as a demigirl for like 2 weeks now and I’ve been vibing so...

Now, for details. Basically, I feel like I am a female-aligned “agender” sort of person... demigirl, perhaps. But not totally agender.

I still want she/her pronouns, but I don’t wanna be a WOMAN-woman. I don’t vibe much with being a woman. I don’t feel I want the role of a woman too much in life either, which is kind of dumb, because women are literally working hard to try and change the role and perception of women in our society. Yet I feel like being a woman just isn’t for me? I guess... And of course, I am definitely not a man.

And then there is my whole obsession with tailcoats and formal menswear and wanting to be handsome. (Which could mean nothing.) But I also want to be pastel and cute and wear a puffy dress. I sometimes feel there are two of the ideal “me” which... could possibly hint at me being bigender, though I don’t feel there is enough “evidence” for that. I still feel more demigirl than anything.

I also find the concept of gender itself just plain weird and frankly stupid. Why have human beings’ roles and ways of presenting been assigned from what we have “down there” for so many years? And why is it continued to be this way even now? It’s so baffling and frankly a bit creepy. I honestly have this belief that most people wouldn’t identify as cisgender if things were different, and if humans were allowed and encouraged to pick and develop our own ideal gender, rather than having it be assigned at birth.

I’m also wondering if wanting to tell people about my identity is needed. Because I have absolutely no plans to tell my parents about my identity, because they would never understand. I also am not planning on telling random strangers, especially older ones and more conservative people. I’m planning to mostly keep it to myself and telling only people who actually WOULD understand.

So yeah, sorry about the weird long confession aaaa...