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bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture · 5 years ago

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And we’re back! There’s definitely some themes that come up in this chapter that will be echoed going forward, so I’ll try to point them out and explain my thoughts on those a bit. Other than that, I think this is a two-part chapter, just based on an initial skim, and we’re technically in the second ‘arc’ of the series, according to the BNHA wiki - though I have chosen to shove everything before the USJ into the ‘opening arcs’ tag for ease of tagging, since it’s really all just character / setting introduction before getting into the action.

[No. 5 - Smashing Into Academia]

So we get to see most of the top ten scores - Katsuki in first place with all villain points, and Izuku in seventh with all rescue points. We also see some other familiar names: Kirishima (2nd) with 74 points, Ochako (3rd) with 73, Shiozaki (4th) with 68, Tenya (6th) with 61, Tetsu^4 (8th) with 59, and Tokoyami (9th) with 57. I think we’ll get to see the others later, but for now, I’ll just look them up for ease of confusion: Kendo (5th) with 65 points and Awase (10th) with 56 points. So yeah, talk about your high scores!

This raises a few interesting thoughts:

First off, I know that Horikoshi had initially intended to put Shiozaki in class 1a, but either forgot or ended up deciding she wasn’t suited for it, thus the reason we see her name here but don’t see her until the Sports Festival. Also, I like how he uses the cutoff of the 5th and 10th place in order to fit in more 1b students when he comes up with them - it’s not a trick I would have immediately thought of myself, but it makes sense, and gives a good sense that it’s not just 1a dominating in these sorts of events.

[Discord: its cuz her hair was a pain to draw, which like- mood]

...though that then leads to the question of how certain members of 1a and 1b got in with their quirks. Like, I appreciate all of them, but some of the kids just… yeah, I’m not entirely sure what they could do. I suppose that just makes them particularly clever for getting in, which isn’t a shock when the bar for entry is high.

I… am also surprised Kaminari isn’t higher up there, considering his zappy zappy could take out a whole field of them… though possibly also the people nearby him if he wasn’t careful. I suppose with those scores all in the fifties to seventies, though, even if he took out like thirty or forty points worth, it still would only be enough to get him in, not as a high score.

...speaking of high scores, Ochako only got rescue points from saving Izuku, which is what got her third place overall despite not even hitting thirty villain points. With how high the first ten spots were, and with there only being thirty-six spots overall, there’s a chance she might have missed the cut entirely and have not gotten in if she hadn’t pushed herself to save the person who saved her.

This is a running theme that I’ve noticed about Izuku’s character and narrative effects - he’s not All Might, who makes people feel safe with his presence. He’s not a larger than life figure who stands between villains and the rest of the world. What he is is a plain, unassuming kid who will push himself to breaking in order to save someone, in order to win. And in doing so, we see him in turn inspire others to act, because if this plain, unassuming fanboy can do it, why not them as well? I mean, hell, that’s how he got his quirk!

Recall this? It’s something that we see again and again in the series, something that I think is the core of Izuku’s character development and something he needs to realize in order to really come into himself as a hero and as a person. His greatest strength - that capability to become ‘the strongest hero’ like he desires - isn’t in One For All or in his fighting prowess, but in his ability to inspire others to become better versions of themselves, to push themselves just a bit more, and in so, those ripples end up saving more people and improving the future, one person at a time.

Izuku grew up in a world where his greatest heroes were the Symbol of Peace and (his) Symbol of Victory. While it’s not a title I think he will ever take on in full - I think part of the endgame of the series will be to move on past reliance on a few Symbols to ward off evil and have everyone work together to build up a better world - I do believe he really encompasses the ideals that would make him a Symbol of Hope to Japan and the world. As Hope, he’d give others the belief that they could reach out and be given help, that someone would be there for them if they asked - and, I would like to think, he’d be able to make that world together with his friends and allies, once everything is said and done.

Anyways, I sort of. Got rambling there. Uh. How far are we? One panel? ...ehehehe…

So we get the next two panels, which is the staff discussing Katsuki and Izuku - opposite ends of the spectrum. One got in with only villain points, the other with only rescue points. They note that Katsuki was able to keep going for the whole ten minutes, where most other students were slowing down by halfway through. A true endurance monster. Izuku, on the other hand, is noted to be the first in a while to take out the gimmick, even if others have stood up to it before.

(Also, I love Mic’s ‘kid just makes me wanna go yeah!’ What a mood.)

Hah, they also note that his backlash is like a kid getting a first glimpse of his power, plus how in every other way he looks like a typical failure. However, Mic and… some other staff member (possibly Midnight, I want to say? It makes the most sense) just like Izuku and aren’t so worried about that, while Aizawa chills in the back and thinks they’re all being noisy.

We transitioned to Izuku and Toshinori, 8 pm the night Izuku got the acceptance letter. Izuku is crying as he basically shouts All Might’s name, and Toshinori spits blood and basically has Izuku cover his tracks since, surprise, there are now other human beings here!

Toshinori that can’t be good for your health oh my god.

But yeah, apparently the news that day (or any point that week, probably) is that the beach was cleaned up by some mysterious do-gooder, so now it’s a good place to go on dates again. I know Izuku said no one came by there (chapter 2), but still, it feels weird to think no one noticed anything at all over the entire ten months Izuku and Toshinori (sometimes as All Might!) was there, especially since I think they were at other parts of the beach when Izuku was doing swimming training?

I mean like, what about the people who were illegally dumping their trash there? The people who have to cut through there because it’s a shortcut to get home? The people who get lost and accidentally stumble across it? Random villains trying to use it as a hideout or stash for their loot while hiding from the police / heroes??

Ah whatever, it is what it is. Toshinori congratulates Izuku on passing and gives him a high five.

Fucking hell that’s so cute, I already have it saved as a reaction image I love it so damn much. But yeah, Toshinori hasn’t mentioned his relationship with Izuku to the school (though I know this isn’t true because Nezu and RG know… though that might not have been until after Izuku passed and he knew Izuku was going there.)

Izuku appreciates not having to worry about favoritism, and is excited for Toshinori being a teacher at UA. He asks if that’s why they’re meeting at the beach despite All Might’s office being at a very precise address that Toshinori cuts off. Toshinori then says he couldn’t tell anyone until the school made it public knowledge, and that he’d take the job while looking for his successor.

Izuku remembers that Toshinori mentioned he’d been looking for a while, and that he’d have been looking among the students. Izuku thinks about all their amazing quirks and raw talents, and stares at his hands as he brings up how he broke after a single use of the quirk and that he can’t wield it. Poor boy, no self-worth or realization of how impressive his first use was…

Toshinori points out that of course it’s not an immediate success - if someone suddenly grew a tail, they wouldn’t be able to do tricks off the bat. Izuku asks if Toshinori knew this would happen, and Toshinori says there wasn’t enough time, but everything worked out all right… or, well, All Might.

What a fucking dad, that was a dad joke, I am so done. Someone stop this man.

Anyways, Toshinori bends down to pick up some empty spray-paint cans, which shows that while the beach is clean, there’s still a lot of small junk and broken glass and stuff left to clean up, which I imagine was either something Izuku did during the month and a half between the exams and the beginning of the new school year, or something the community ended up doing once they all were coming there.

He tells Izuku that it’s all for nothing for now, but once Izuku figures out how to regulate it, he’ll be able to put out just what his body can handle - and that the more he temperes his vessel, the better he can control the power. All Might then crunches those cans in one fist, which he’s really lucky they’re empty, or else he’d have gotten paint everywhere. (Would have been hilarious to see, though.)

But yeah, All Might makes the comparison of passing on the Olympic flame, and how the new torch burns weakly at first, but that the trials to come will fan it.

The same couple on the pier notice All Might and ask where he came from, and All Might panics, running off, with Izuku following confused yet dutifully.

God that running pose is fucking hilarious I am cackling.

But yeah, he notes that his own flame will wither and die, with his duty fulfilled. I like how you can just see that couple trying to make their way from the pier to try and catch All Might.

Anyways, a short post, but the next page gets into spring and the beginning of the new school year, so I figure it’s better to cut it off here. Besides, I spent a whole page and a half rambling about characterization and narrative echoes, so shoosh.

#opening arcs #chapter 5 #readthrough #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #midoriya izuku #yagi toshinori #bakugou katsuki #technically Katsuki isn't in this #but there's a comparison made between him and Izuku #and his score and tenacity are noted so like #eh #also that fucking dad might #so much food for my little dadmight loving soul in these few pages #i love them #also sorry not sorry for the rambling #it was a good hearty ramble

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anemo-hypostasis · 2 years ago

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The Idiot | Alhaitham/Reader

Pairing: Alhaitham/F!Reader

Summary: Three gifts have been given to Alhaitham. Each is regretted. None can be taken back. By the docks of Port Ormos, the recipient himself comes knocking. TLDR: you and Alhaitham grow up together.

“I am a fool with a heart but no brains, and you are a fool with brains but no heart; and we’re both unhappy, and we both suffer.” - Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Idiot

Forewarnings: slight nsfw, angst, hurt no comfort, childhood friends. 18+ only.

Note: This is the most convoluted and choppy piece I have ever written, so advanced apologies and sincerest regrets!

WC: 5.3K

In this world, giving and receiving are referred to as a couplet. Like the concluding lines in a Shakespearian sonnet, fresh cream and cut peaches, or the blazing sun and the gentle moon. Many items, ideas, and actions are destined to pair in the same way giving and receiving are. It is a shame that you have given everything, yet received nothing. Like death harvesting life, an endless bonfire gobbling up surrounding air, or soldiers losing lives to fight soldiers losing lives. Sometimes, it is hard to define it as an equilibrium, because it never evens out. It is Newton’s cradle, never existing in the same state yet existing together. Like Kepler’s elliptical orbits. Like an oil spill in the harbor.

The anchorage of Port Ormos brings sound to a once-silent ocean. Merchants advertise Inazuman lacquerware, the newest Sumeru City fashion fads, and bottled fragrances. Rose custard is sold instead of padisarah pudding. Intricate rugs of cobalt blue and sanded beige are sold on the street corner. I remember you. The smell of adhigama leaves. I remember everything about you.

“I didn’t expect you to be one for seafaring.” He smells like Port Ormos, even though he’s a city boy. He’s been here for too long, and the stench has clung to him.

“It’s nice to escape for a little bit. Sumeru City is suffocating sometimes. I’m sure you know how it is,” He doesn’t respond or settle down. Just does what he always does - looms. The wind tussles his cloak as you continue, “I heard you got a promotion.”

“Not for long, I hope. Being the Grand Sage doesn’t have any appeal to me. I much prefer the mediocrity and flexibility of my last position.” He never has been one for material gains or a boost in reputation. He told me as much. Did he change his hairstyle? I wish you would’ve just lied.

Perhaps that is why you have always given. The man who is uncaring about how he is perceived disregards the people around him. How delusional were you?

First, you gave him your word. It was five years short of a score ago, by the banks of the Sumeru River. People always scold children not to play in it because of the spinocrocodiles and its pollution, but at the time, it appeared magical. The ghost of the moon floated on the rushing current, and the two of you sat on a purple beach towel in hopes of seeing the soon-to-come eclipse. It had taken days of begging, but at the end of it all, you had gained both permission and a basket of packaged baklava.

“Did you know that one pistachio tree consumes forty gallons of water?” Plucking a stray pistachio in his mouth, the boy began devouring the preserved dessert. Honey and oil coated both of your hands, catching in your hair and smudging your face.

“Then how come they’re dry?” You responded, still chewing.

“Ew, don’t talk with your mouth full. But, that’s a foolish question. The tree is not the same as the nut.” The boy’s eyes, cut in ornate lozenges, are blocked by sun visors handed out by the Rtawahist Darshan; his focus is transfixed on the moon’s iron-blood hue as if looking away could scare the celestial bodies back to normalcy and dissipate the scene. There is an identifiable tenacity in that gaze. It’s something you know, but that you never speak into existence. Like basic arithmetic. Like the burn of a red stove. Like adult secrets.

“It’s nice that you just, like, know everything. I wish I were like that… my governess always yells at me ‘cause I never remember anything.” The words are laced with the naivety of a child, but the boy, never adhering to the norm, musters a sardonic scoff.

“That’s why I don’t have a governess or attend school. It’s much better for self-study, and there’s no one to hold you back in the name of collectivism,” There is a slight humor in the way the boy, no older than twelve, conducts his speech. It is an ironic contrast, the sweet tone of a child pronouncing diction used in seminar recounts, research essays, and upperclassman-level textbooks. He adds, “But I understand this is a situation unique to me. Most individuals my age are not as advanced in intellect, so this method may not benefit them. People think me odd or uneducated because of it.”

“I’d never think that of you. I mean, so many boys are so cruel and mean, but you’re so smart and never act like that on purpose. Like how you knew about everything the Rtawahist presenter was sharing. I don’t like everyone else.” The moon augments into a shade reminiscent of curdled blood as you dote, and the boy does not stray from its view. He sighs.

“It will be hard for you to make other friends that way. Isolated friendships are unhealthy. Time should be evenly distributed across numerous interests.” How cold. Chilled gales connect themselves to pale strands of hair. Like dew on a frosted morning. Like streams of snowmelt.

“But you don’t hang out with other people, and you’re fine.” You refute.

“I’m different from other people. Even though you might not realize it yet, you’re not like me. Limiting yourself to me is rash and will cause you suffering.” The cicadas descend from a choir to a solo. The moon, basking in Tevyat’s figure, converts to full crimson. The Sumeru River is alight with God’s plague as if you and the boy had struck a staff into its icy peaks and converted it to blood yourselves.

“I’ll always be with you,” Like faith and doubt. Like bread and wine. Like iron and coal. He stills, and you continue, “I won’t ever hate you, so let’s stay together, Haitham.”

The Port is privy to action at hours subsequent to midnight. Legality is blind in the encompassing darkness of dusk, and the harbor reveals its covert treasures: women, contraband, and manpower. The Sab Al Bahr, your method of transport, had docked for the customary enterprises of nightlife in Port Ormos. Three women from Liyue - Lihua, Qingyi, and Tao - had made for excellent yet bittersweet company among the crew. By now, they will have been escorted to their new residence among the harrowing back alleys of Ormos, confined to a destitute bed in a room of a dozen similar women. The aura of liveliness comes at a cost of livelihood. Giving and receiving. Ebb and flow.

“It’s been years, hasn’t it? Since we’ve talked.” Unfamiliar awkwardness permeates the air. The estrangement of the familiar always leaves unease of a horrendous nature. I remember when I knew you. I remember when you knew me.

“I’d estimate around four. Our correspondence leaves much to be desired,” He sits on the garden curb behind you. There is disfavor in his voice as he asks, “Did you come from Sab Al Bahr?”

“It was convenient from Liyue to Magador to Ormos. They’re not so bad.” Shame crawls up your cheeks, invisible to the naked eye but prominent to your senses.

“Liyue… Prostitutes and finery, I presume? I can’t say I judged you as the type. The lifestyle of a pirate is quite different from that of a scholar. Even living amongst them must be quite the culture shock.”

“I never was quite the scholar. Not like you. The passion left after I had my thesis rejected four times in a row, I think.” There is humor in your tone, poking fun at the detriment that appeared so intense once upon a time. The scuffle of decal boots approaching the dock’s ledge made you look back. The man sat down, a grimace tugging at groomed eyebrows and thin lips.

“Naeem Farhat was your chosen advisor. That was your first mistake - he was known for nitpicking any details that he found tedious or against his personal bias. It takes a student with a near-identical mindset to succeed under his tutelage. Personally, I thought Kifaya Hakim was the best choice for you; she provides critical yet honest feedback and focuses on celestial movement patterns in conjunction with various geological points.” There it is. That all-knowing attitude, removed from pleasantries and ample in diluted self-righteousness. I loved all of you. Some people never change. I admired every part of you.

“Had you told me that, I would have chosen her, but you were gone for research in Devantaka. I went with my instinct.” It is a bit bitter, now that the statement has been dispersed into the salty air. Like the white flesh of pomegranates mixed with red seeds. Like raw and unaged pu-erh.

“Sometimes,” he pauses, “It is important to make choices without outside influence.”

The second coffer offered to him was a pearl to a clam; it was your heart, faithful and unadulterated. It shined with iridescence in his monochromatic grasp, esteemed and coveted. To this day, it is your penultimate regret. Gifting love to the wrong individual is a most punishing mistake.

The boy, now eighteen, sits in his grandmother’s abundant library when you give him your gift. He has never pursued public education, but the flurry of excitement in the neighborhood as families convene to photograph daughters and sons in graduation gowns is a contagion; unavoidable. The pleated mint fabric is embroidered with the braids and twists of vines, as homage to Greater Lord Rukkhadevata. One cord with twists of navy and beige rests on your shoulders, akin to ancient Roman laurels of olive and blossom.

“Do you think you’ll come to the ceremony?” You ask, watching as he flips to the next page of Metaphysics. He doesn’t meet your eyes, opting to scribble a note in the margins of the aged paper.

“I had planned to finish reading this, but… I suppose I could attend. Just for your section. Since your class is around two-hundred people, I’ll come about twenty-five minutes in. Is that agreeable?” Part of you wonders if he is writing a reminder to himself. Nodding, your lips turn up and you ruffle the boy’s silken hair.

“Thanks! I would’ve been very upset. God, this gown is so frumpy… Oh, by the way, I had, uh, something to ask. It’s kind of important, so would you mind looking at me?” Eyes like cut jade diced with topaz flicker up, and he closes the book with slowness. He raises an eyebrow as if to say, what’s so important? Hands, nimble and uncalloused, motion for you to speak.

“So, we’ve been friends for a while, and I enjoy being friends with you, so I want to preface this by saying that no matter what, you are a friend first and foremost..” you gulp, hesitant, before sighing, “I really like you, Haitham. Romantically. Even though it’s selfish of me, I can’t help but hope you feel the same way. If you don’t, that’s fine - I would never hold it against you.” Distant cheers erupt from the parallel side of the library’s window, emphasizing the blankness of noise collapsing in on you. The boy sighs.

“I had my suspicions,” He stands from the algae-toned couch, extending with, “But I didn’t think you’d confess before graduation. Isn’t that a bit risky? Standing between fine lines seems to be a hobby of yours.” It’s zaytun peach season in Sumeru City. Bushes grow plump with heavy bodices of sugared flesh and skin, and the city becomes alight with scent. The delicate fragrance tangos around your nostrils, and you use it as a distraction. Later, when this humiliation is foregone, you’ll sink your canines into the flesh of a fresh peach, and the affliction of rejection will slide down your throat as if it had never been birthed.

“That being said, I thought it was obvious enough that I shared your sentiment. Have you really been worrying over such a trivial detail as to whether I share your affections? Relationships are of little importance to me. People in this world often cause their own problems and make life harder for themselves; pleasure seekers land themselves in debt, self-important authorities expose themselves to dangers, and lovesick partners spend their lives attempting to appease another. Having a relationship is just another engagement filled with more trifles than necessary. Do you understand?” Ice purges itself down your spine. His gaze is hot and immovable as if delving into the mush of the human psyche in an attempt to draw an answer. Like a hook caught in the flank. Like the milliseconds before an earthquake. Like a judge at the podium.

“I won’t pressure you, but I want you to know that I would accommodate you. Love is not a one-size fits all. Haven’t we known each other since toddlerhood? I think if there are any two people that are capable of adjusting to the other’s needs, it’s us. So please, don’t say yes, but don’t say no, either.” Desperation bleeds from a trifecta of the human body - tone, expression, pose - and scurries to the ground. It curdles and coalesces by the boy’s feet, a single evolutionary leap short of being able to climb up his legs, chest, and mouth. It is almost able to devour him, but not quite. He runs pale hands through sleek hair, a sparse yet meaningful action that communicates a genuine dilemma.

“Okay. I’ll consider it. But if your expectations remain unsatisfied, and a chasm develops between us, don’t be surprised,” the boy caresses the spine of Metaphysics and excuses it to the daystand, saying, “Don’t let me ruin a good day. Graduation is meant to be celebratory. Come on, let’s go together. It’ll be faster.”

By the windowsill, the boy’s grandmother has set out a lustreware bowl filled with zaytun peaches. Their skin is exquisite, glinting in the light as if waxed, and a pink-to-magenta gradient paints them in the image of a summer Sumerian sky. The boy grabs one as he leaves the archway.

He grabs your hand in the same archway two weeks later, warning you of all its hazards and rough edges. But the young are naive, concerned with the future, and dismissive of the present, and two hands come to reciprocate his.

Djafar Tavern hosts a diverse audience. Ayn Al-Ahmar Eremites sit in isolated pluckings. Street dancers weave themselves into the edges of sidewalks and patios, hoping to glean gold and mercy from tavern patrons. Researchers admit fatigue and failure in research and seek comfort in the dulling buzz of oncoming pints. The man sits across from you, one ankle crossed at the knee and knuckles flush against his cheek. Copper liquid sits idle in his mug.

“I happen to remember a certain scribe getting so wasted, he wretched into the bushes for ten minutes straight.” The tendrils of alcohol have tickled your cheeks. Each word comes out more vivacious than planned, and the man across from you observes in amusement.

“Is that so? If my memory serves me, I happen to recall a young academic begging the aforementioned scribe to cook her a full-sized portion of biryani after a rough night out in Ormos.” Merriment is an exclusive color on the man, and it oozes from each syllable. Teasing, when done right, can be a rambunctious affair. Sweat beads on the wrinkles of his forehead and at the rear of your neck as a product of Sumeru heat and the excitement of reunion. The flax of alcohol seeps down and down, until the past and future evade your thought, leaving the remains of a sweltering fuzz.

“It’s so odd. I’ve been upset with you for so long, but now, I can’t even remember why. Tell me, Alhaitham, what did you do? I can’t recall the details, but I’m sure you’ve done something…” Hiccups bubble up and out between strung-out utterances. The man, sober as he seems, is overrun by prominent reds and pinks on the apple of his cheeks. The tab for tonight is bound to be hefty - it requires an absurd amount of alcohol to inebriate him with low-quality beer. Sitting back, the trinkets on his belt create a quiet symphony of noise.

“I think we’ve both had too much to drink. This is sure to be a headache in the morning. It’s best I get you home now.” The sky is pigmented in hues of navy and onyx. It stands out amongst the depraved prostitutes, screeching merchants, and tainted light. Like an abyss beneath the sand. Like dancers in the rain. Like a whale beneath the ship. It is so unfaltering, unknown, and expansive. Droplets dew in the corners of your eyes. Stationed in the middle of the street, eyes never blinking, you watch the sky.

“Come now. There will always be another sky to watch. I need to get you home.” He needs to get me home. The cosmos moves in synchronization. Since when have you wanted me home? The stars, gaseous and alight, provide entertainment as two strangers walk the boulevard. Since when have we been strangers?

Like the Three Wise Men, you adorn the boy with gold, frankincense, and myrrh of your own. Gold appeals to all, but its merit does not hold up to true testaments of need; it is fragile, and the teeth of the mouth can damage its delicateness with ease. Frankincense is a traditional offering to God himself, representing love and devotion. It designates its recipient as divine and deserving of worship. Myrrh anoints the corpses of the bygone, and its role as a gift symbolizes the sacrifice of death. It is giving without receiving. For the offering of myrrh, you relinquish flesh.

Rtawahist textbooks cast a shadow over the blank canvas of an assigned paper labeled “On the Relation Between Starshrooms and Celestial Objects.” Dozens of researchers and undergraduates sit in identical positions, hunched above a pile of papers adjacent to an impressive tower of established sources. Studies on the Biological Evolution of Starshrooms. Phases of Constellations and Celestial Movement. Changes in Biodiversity in Relation to Month. It sent rivulets of vexation down your limbs, increasing in intensity the longer the pen in your hand remained motionless.

“I just don’t get it. People have submitted far less appealing work to him, and he accepts it with no issue! I mean, one person was missing an entire body paragraph, and he took it!” The skin of your palms grants reprieve to the ache of your pupils, rubbing up and down in hopes of relieving a fraction of the tension flitting across your expression.

“Currying favor is a common practice in smaller classes. If your work isn’t revolutionary and the professor has a bad impression, bias can play an important factor in whether or not you pass.” The man, now twenty-two, is enchanted by the booklet in his grasp. Homological Mirror Symmetry. Even so, he spares a glance at the disappointing lack of substance positioned on the opposite side of the adhigama desk. One blue and white lampshade illuminates the space, creating an intimate and closed-off aura.

“Do you think I haven’t tried that? I have. I gave him baklava, zaytun peaches from the Bazaar, and a coupon to Puspa. I think he’s biased against women - did I ever tell you how there are no other women in my class? Tell me that’s not the craziest coincidence!” In your petulance, the disengagement of the man across from you remains unseen. So, when he proposes a heinous question in the public ambiance of the House of Daena, it comes out rash.

“Do you dislike that we haven’t had sex?” He does not coat bitter apples in sugar or insist on that which is roundabout. It aids in the directness of communication within the relationship, but in moments such as these, it can be overwhelming. Spit sputters from your throat as you regain composure.

“I’m-I’m sorry? Haitham, you can’t just say those things in public! Jeez, imagine if someone heard you… can’t we talk about it later?” Each affricate is squeezed between teeth, hissing and aggravated. The man is unphased, eyes locked onto yours.

“It’s just a simple question. People our age engage in hook-up culture and sex, and our bodies are biologically the most receptive to desire at this life stage. Despite this, we’ve only gone as far as kissing. I want to know if this upsets you, or if it seems like I’ve neglected your needs.” It is hard not to desire the man he has transformed into. Cultivated abs peek up from beneath his augmented uniform, his hair is lush and coated in grains of moondust, and there is a unique charm to his extensive intelligence. That being said, Sumeru City has a centuries-old culture of sexual shame and repression. It is to be consumed with caution, and in appropriate amounts, so as to avoid the dissipation of rationale and pragmatism. In some ways, his ability to overlook social norms in favor of reasonable logic is alluring. In others, it is humiliating. Like crime and punishment. Like a kiss upon the altar. Like a veil raised in love and lowered in grief.

“I mean, I’m not upset! I know physical affection doesn’t appeal to you, and I would never want to force you into something you don’t enjoy. That would upset me more than not… y’know…” Galesh heels hitting stark tile reverberate in the House of Daena - the environment is anything but private.

“Having sex? I see. In that case, let’s discuss this further at my apartment after lectures.” He heralds the book under his arm and marches off, as indifferent as a rock amidst a gouging river. Meanwhile, embarrassment has yet to settle into the bottom sediment of your nerves. Praying to Lesser Lord Kusanali that no Rtwahist peers overheard the conversation, you return back to “On the Relation Between Starshrooms and Celestial Objects” with novel zeal.

The evening of Sumeru City is lit to the firmament, artistic street lamps lining the pavement home. The man’s apartment is a short walk from the Rtwahist offices, and it has become an unofficial meeting spot between the both of you. The light emanating from inside is dim - it could be no more than a few candles lit - and a gnawing sensation comes to violate your senses. The pleasantry of knocking has long since been disposed of, and you step in.

The man sits on the ornate sofa in the center of the living room. On the coffee table sits a new book to conquer. Vita Sexualis. The corner of a navy bookmark peeks from its battered pages. It must have been too difficult to find a new copy; he preferred to have well-kept covers, if possible, so a cracked and yellowing title was a sign of uncharacteristic “settling.”

“Do you make a habit of reading state-banned erotica?” You joke, placing your rucksack on the floorboards and taking a seat next to him. He shrugs.

“If something is banned, doesn’t that make it all the more intriguing? Looking at what society deems ‘beyond the pale’ can say more about cultural norms than an entire course at the Akademiya,” Like clockwork, he repositions himself to face you. The physical closeness is off-putting after four years of sparse affection. The man continues, “Sexuality, in all forms, is looked down upon by the youth and elders alike. However, it is hardly something worth devoting fear to. Do you agree?”

“Sure, but that was never- I just didn’t think you’d want that from me.” His palms lift your chin. It is awkward. He has resented romance and insisted on the idiocy of its frivolities since childhood, but he knows the logistics of what is appealing and what is not. He knows you like it, and so he does it. Like covering ears and reading lips. Like fruit on the cutting board. Like an antidote to poison.

“I will admit that sex, alongside other typical gestures, is not a focus or concern of mine. That being said, I am far from opposed to it. I would like to experiment with it if you are consenting.” Silver tickles your cheek and he leans over. Excitement pulses through your bloodstream, sending tremors down your hands.

“I think I’d like that too, Haitham.” Lips meet lips in a delicate kiss as the skin of your hand merges with his neck. Those eyes, emboldened, roll down in sync with his palms. They caress the fullness of your cheek, the tips of your fingers, the curve of your waistline, the ridges of your trachea, the divots of your collarbones. Fire perches itself as a phantom of touch, burning into the skin. The musculature of his back flexes beneath your left hand as he covers your body. Leaning back on his heels, thighs flexing on the sides of your legs, he pulls the hem of his shirt up.

You savor him. Skin glows like moonlight under the approaching moon, and your fingers slide along the expanse of his stomach. Pushing yourself up, you catch his lips another time, and another, hands roaming across his pectorals and neck.

“Can I take your shirt off?” He asks between kisses, arms supporting the circumflex of your back. His wish is granted, and as he departs from your face, he pinches the Liyuean silk between his thumb, index, and middle fingers, pulling it up to reveal your chest. There is a technique behind each audacious caress; the subtle liberation of your bra, his built arms pressing you chest-to-chest, the chaste trail he paints down your abdomen. He pauses.

“Is something wrong?” You mutter, splayed out on the couch cushions. The nakedness is frightening, and now that the action has stopped, a shiver begins to tease your skin.

“I think we’ve reached the part where we strip. I don’t want to alarm you, so I’ll ask: is it alright if I fully undress you and myself?” His constant confirmation is reassuring, but a small section of your consciousness dwindles on the robotic nature of it all. Each action reeks of formulation and plagiarism - like a schoolboy gleaning answers from a neighbor, or an essay using sections of Akasha terminal outputs. I don’t care. I don’t care at all.

“Be my guest.” Then, you are bare against his chest. Everything is warm, and the man dons a charming flush across his cheeks and chest. His fingers are akin to a honey wand in a pot, covered in the fruits of his labor as he clenches your fingers with his free hand. Small groans and intakes of breath permeate the room, creating a sickly sweet humidity. When he unbuckles his slacks, you turn to the side, shock and shame intermingling into one. Noticing, his thumb catches your cheek.

“I promise to be gentle. Tell me everything that comes to your mind. Your input is important to me.” The moonlight has enveloped the entire room. Few corners are hidden under its judgment, and the man above you is a beauty. Like sparkles at sea. Like pearls clutched between strings. Like a golden girdle lost on the battlefield.

“I love you, Alhaitham.”

Port Ormos has one notable inn. The remaining options are either on the outskirts of town or surrounded by the “undesirables” of society. It is Najjar Palace, a one-star inn, that has the misfortune of hosting you. Outside of the dim entrance, Alhaitham holds your robes as you vomit into the bushes. It has been a few hours, and after an extended walk and a pitcher of ice water, soberness begins to creep in. Tears dot your face, and smudges of kohl mark your under eye.

“I’m sorry. Our first meeting in years, and I get shitfaced.” Regret blossoms in your countenance. He shrugs, handing the fine robes back to you.

“I can’t act holier than thou after becoming inebriated myself. Do you feel well enough to carry on?” The moon is a picturesque reflection of Lesser Lord Kusanali tonight. Its pale expanse is large and smooth, dust catching in its earth-bound light. Sitting down, you gaze at its fullness. How is it that the moon is always there for your more humbling moments?

“I feel good now.” He nods, then connects your focus to the brightness in the sky. He stares at it, too. Sighing, you state, “It's always here when we’re together. The moon.”

“It was a full moon that night as well, wasn’t it?” Alhaitham adds, cape draped against the cement floor.

“I didn’t even realize. I was so upset,” a breeze disrupts the branches above and you laugh, “I think there’s a journal somewhere where I compared you to about thirty different things. Some good, some bad, but the pages were filled with edgy similes. Like Kepler’s orbits, like Newton’s cradle…” You recount, snorting.

“I’m sorry,” Alhaitham says, a softness lining the clouds of his words. He stiffens, “I broke things off in a way that ignored your feelings. That was unusually inefficient of me.”

“...I tried to forget your name. It’s been so long since I’ve said it without scolding myself afterward. I tried very hard to forget you, Alhaitham.” One leaf falls onto your scalp, and you pluck it off and throw it to the brush. The atmosphere is refreshing. Genuine, yet understood.

“It is unbecoming to my personal morals to stay in a relationship forever tainted by inequality. For everything I gave, you gave much more. It never evened out, and it didn’t sit well with me.” He reveals, crossing his ankle over his knee yet again. You remember feeling that way - like he didn’t care. Just like he predicted. You remembered the betrayal when you found his belongings moved out and his contact changed. You remember when he left you, and you were forced to leave him. You remember thinking about him for the next year, jotting down notes in the leatherbound journal he had gifted you on your twelfth birthday.

Like the concluding lines in a Shakespearian sonnet, fresh cream and cut peaches, or the blazing sun and the gentle moon. Like death harvesting life, an endless bonfire gobbling up surrounding air, or soldiers losing lives to fight soldiers losing lives. Like Kepler’s elliptical orbits. Like an oil spill in the harbor. Like basic arithmetic. Like the burn of a red stove. Like adult secrets. Like dew on a frosted morning. Like streams of snowmelt. Like faith and doubt. Like bread and wine. Like iron and coal. Like the white flesh of pomegranates mixed with red seeds. Like raw and unaged pu-erh. Like a hook caught in the flank. Like the milliseconds before an earthquake. Like a judge at the podium.Like an abyss beneath the sand. Like dancers in the rain. Like a whale beneath the ship. Like crime and punishment. Like a kiss upon the altar. Like a veil raised in love and lowered in grief. Like covering ears and reading lips. Like fruit on the cutting board. Like an antidote to poison. Like sparkles at sea. Like pearls clutched between strings. Like a golden girdle lost on the battlefield.

You were everything that has ever been to me, you want to say. It beats true in your heart and veins, knocking at the bars like an aggravated prisoner, but nothing spews from your lips. Nothing but this.

“It’s late. Thank you for taking care of me, Alhaitham. Goodnight.” You don’t turn around to see his wave or nod or whatever nonchalant gesture he’s resorted to. The inn is 10,000 per night. You hand the receptionist 50,000. You unlock the room, rampant with musk and stains. You sit down on the sheets. Your eyes close.

In the morning, Alhaitham is nowhere to be seen. Everything feels a bit clearer. I think I am okay with remembering you now, you think. I am okay with forgetting, too. Remembrance and forgetfulness. Giving and receiving. What an idiot.

#alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x fem!reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #alhaitham #genshin impact #genshin #genshin angst #anemo hypostasis #alhaitham/reader #alhaitham x f!reader #alhaitham angst

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blueberry-pride · 3 years ago

Note

Hi! I was wondering if you could do Leona angst to fluff with a fem reader for the 100 followers event? Thank you!💜

LEONA X FEM!READER

Berry: *screeches* you have no idea how much I wanted to write for this lion man TvT thank you so much for the request <3 There wasn't really much to go on so I did my best with all the creative freedom I was given XD enjoy everyone~!

warning: cursing, angst

100 FOLLOWER SPECIAL (FEB 14-28, 2022)

'Why did you like him?'

That was the thought going through your mind at least once a day, most especially when you saw a glimpse of his green eyes. Out of all the eccentric and colorful cast of students that is Night Raven College, you had your eyes set on probably the most difficult person to have a crush on.

"For this final project you are all assigned partners so whomever you're paired up with, stick with it" Professor Trein instructed. Tired groans and remarks about his announcement were heard all over the classroom with the occasional meows from the professor's familiar.

"If you and your partner scored perfect marks in this final project, a percentage of that score will be added to your final exams," Trein noted which got a lot of the student's head up.

"Once I announce the pair, go to an area in the room and plan your project, if I see you two slacking off...well I suppose an 800 worded essay must be more suited to your tastes?" Numerous heads bobbed up and down in a disciplined manner as some crossed their fingers for a lucky matchup.

"Felmier, you're paired up with Hunt."

"Asim, you're paired up with Shroud"

"Trappola, you're paired up with Schoenheit"

After almost everyone was called, your heart dropped.

"(L/N), you're paired up with Kingscholar"

You never thought your head would shoot up fast enough but now you do. Whispers then soon erupted from the announcement while you hear starts hammering at your chest.

"I forgot Leona-senpai is also in this class." You heard from your left.

"Of course, he's not even here for the announcement." Another spoke at the back.

"Typical of him..." A guy scoffed beside you. You looked around and sure enough, there's no lion beastman insight. Though a part of you was glad so he couldn't see how 'excited' you are at this moment.

Professor Trein clicked his tongue and shook his head, he motioned you to come forward to his front desk and spoke in a hushed tone as the others were already chatting away with their partner.

"I deeply apologize for your...partner but please fetch Mr. Kingscholar at once and tell him of the final project" He sighed as he starts petting Lucius. "He's most likely at the botanical garden."

That's where you found yourself at. Though, unlike last time, you are much warier of where your footsteps land in fear that one mistake could end up in stepping in someone's tail...again. As you were walking, you thought that maybe being more assertive and determined once you approach the lion man would work, He's part of a dorm that respects tenacity after all.

"What brings you here herbivore?" You whipped your head to the voice behind you and saw Leona laying comfortably on the grass. He yawned and blinked his sleepy green eyes as he observes your next move. "Uh..." You cleared your throat, your voice determined. "You skipped Professor Trein's class and he announced a project that'll be with partners-"

"So let me guess... you're my partner huh?" He cuts off, his facial expression was all the more the same from the often times you've passed by him in the hallways. Not a care in the world in those unamused eyes of his.

you nodded confidently. "A-and not to worry, I've already had a rough idea for the project, it's simple enough that it won't take long...I can come by your dorm when I'm halfway done.'

I waited for a while as he thinks to himself, his tail swishing lazily from side to side in the green grass. "That won't be enough to prove to that professor I'm working my ass off, Let's meet up every after school, maybe you have a mistake that you couldn't spot before." Leona leaned against a trunk of a tree as he looked straight into your eyes which made your heart jolt. "S-sounds like a plan!" You smiled at him.

For the next few weeks, Leona actually kept his word. You'd meet up after his magift practice, after classes where he even insisted on coming to your dorm instead of his! You'd be lying to yourself if you said it didn't make your heart flutter a bit at all the gestures. Especially when he paid for all of the materials you guys needed for the project. Not to mention the times he ordered take-out when you two worked for hours on end on the damn project.

"Congratulations Miss (L/N) and Kingscholar, you are among the very few who got full marks!" Professor Trein smiled as he crossed his arms. Lucius meowed in a higher tone in response, to which you scratched his head in response.

"I'll go tell Leona the news then, thank you again, professor." You excitedly nod as you jogged out of the class to find your 'partner'.

"Leona?"

"Leonaaa..?"

"I have some good news..!" Your voice faltered at the end. Your eyes swished left and right to try and find the lion beastman within the main part of the botanical garden, but nothing. "Could he be...in class?" You frowned a bit as you decided to try again next time. You guess today you'll celebrate with your friends instead.

The next day

"Hey, Ruggie have you seen Leona? I wanted to give him this meat burger as thanks for the project." You asked the hyena beastman.

"Sorry (Y/N), y'know how Leona-san is, if the guy doesn't wanna be found, he won't budge." Ruggie shrugged with a frown.

the third day

"Leonaaaa?" Your voice echoed through the botanical garden. You frowned again, your heart aching as you walked around the place but after fifteen minutes of searching. Nothing.

the fifth day

"Jack, have you seen Leona anywhere?" You asked the tall man beside you in class.

"Sorry no...Leona's a recluse as you can already tel-"

"Howl, (L/N), save that conversation after the lecture." Professor Crewel scolded which was followed by the sound of his beating stick.

the seventh day

"maybe I should just...leave him alone for a while..." You said to yourselves. You nodded to yourself as you sat in the usual spot you and Leona used to hang out with when making the project.

"Did he just use me?" You whispered to yourself.

For the past few days, you hung your head low, sure you were hanging out with your other friends, doing other school work but you couldn't help but hear whispers as you still waited...and waited in the same spot in the botanical garden.

"Hey is that (Y/N)? What's going on with her?"

"I don't know man, she's just.. sitting there in the garden"

"Could she be waiting for someone?"

The twelfth day

You were tired, and its making you sick

You sat on your usual spot in the botanical garden in silence, during this time you managed to do your homework on your own and accidentally fell asleep a couple of times. But on this day, as you look at the flowers and plants that decorated this place, you crumpled the grass under your palms and stood up.

You're done waiting

Maybe you just needed to move on

Maybe that was all he sees you as, just partners

But why does it hurt so much when it makes so much sense?

You briskly walked back to your dorm outside and decided to take a shortcut through the sports field.

"Oi Ruggie, watch your left!" A familiar voice barked out.

Your head whipped to the sound and low and behold He's right there. Leona stood in the distance, both of his hands lay on his hips as he scanned the rest of the club members. As he did so, he accidentally locked eyes with yours for a second. He stood there frozen but luckily enough, his saving grace was the sound of Coach Vargas' whistle.

"Alright, boys! do your stretches before you head to the showers." Coach's voice boomed as he slapped some of the guy's back. "Got to have those muscles ready for next training!" He let out a hearty chuckle. Since you got distracted by the coach's words, when you look back at Leona, he was already gone.

You shook your head in anger, "That's it..." stomping angrily towards Savanaclaw. You didn't think that this plan would work but you were too angry to stop now. You wanted answers. Shouts and complaints were heard as you entered Savanaclaw dorm, curious and annoyed of your presence and they only increase in volume as you made a bee-line towards Leona's room.

"(Y/N)-san! WAIT." Ruggie tried to hold on to your shoulder but you dodged it and finally went inside Leona's bedroom. Once you were inside, you locked the door behind you.

You were in the lion's den now

"Leona!" You called out. In the midst of your anger, you heard the sound of a shower turn off. "just a sec." He finally replied. You sighed in relief as you hold onto your arms as you waited for what felt like an eternity. Finally, he came in with a towel over his hair, dressed up in his dorm clothes.

"Why did you ignore me? I've been looking for you!" You yelled. "I went to the botanical garden, your classroom, your dorm but I didn't see shit from you!"

"We passed the project didn't we? So I don't really see a reason for you to still come find me." He said nonchalantly.

"I've asked Ruggie, Jack, Epel, hell I was even tempted to ask Rook!" you noted, getting closer to him.

"If this was about the final project, I already know we passed. With my help, it's quite obvious we'd get full marks" His eyes peered into you. "So what else could you possibly need my attention for?"

"Oh I don't know...maybe to hangout with you!? to chat with you? for fuck's sake, are you so in denial that a person just wanted to spend time with you just cuz?" You blurted out. Leona blinked a couple of times in surprise and then sat on the edge of his bed. He had a stern face as he say the next few words. "Because I was nice to you, you think you owe me some of your company." It wasn't even a question that irked you so much.

"Maybe because you were really nice and tolerable during our project-"

"First off, It was because we were assigned partners, 2nd, Professor Trein would yank my ears off so I needed the marks and have him off my back, and third...you're a determined woman, and you know what you're doing. I respected that so I followed suit without question." He cut off. You stood there frozen, lips quivering.

"And last thing..." Leona stood up once more, walking towards you with a boring expression. "Why go through all this trouble to 'hangout' with me when you know perfectly well what would happen."

"And what would that be?" You quirked an eyebrow.

"You're no idiot, remember when I've used people? I get whatever I want, whenever I want no matter what or who is in my way..." He gets closer to you. "Do you really wanna be involved in that? I'm already giving you a chance to distance yourself from me, yet you're so stubborn. What makes you think I'm so special? Because I treated you with nicely? herbivore, if you're like that you're going to get fucked over a million times." He let out a dry laugh.

"You're too good of a person to accompany someone with the likes of me, so what makes you think I'm so special?" He's face inches away from you, his eyes flared in anger, you stepped aback in response as your heart hammering in your chest.

"B-Because.." You stammered, your head drifted down to the floor.

"Yeah...Thought as much." He nodded and was about to get to bed when you finally spoke up.

"Because I think you're worth it..." You gulped.

"Worth it? what do you mean I'm 'worth it'? Are you the one who gets to decide whose worth it and who isn't?" He snarled.

"Then just hear me out, despite what you said, despite the walls you put up, despite the anger you have for yourself...for your...past" You gulped. "You're good, you are capable of having a good kind of change Leona." You nodded to yourself. "And just like you said, I'm stubborn and I'm proud of that...so there's nothing you can do to change my opinion of you." You smiled, looking up into his green eyes. He was silent for a while, his expression changing from annoyed to... something soft.

He sighed as he pats your head. "I can never understand you herbivore..." Leona looked at you with a small smile which made you chuckle. "Maybe if you hang out with me more, you can." You smiled again at Leona.

"It's going to be one long ass journey then so be prepared." He said. You smiled at him, your heart settling down when you take all of his features in with the afternoon sun bringing out the highlights in those summer green eyes of his. "I know."

Once a day, Out of all the eccentric and colorful cast of students that is Night Raven College, you had your eyes set on probably the most difficult person to have a crush on yet you still persevered.

'Because... under all of that, he's worth it.'

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #twstファンアート #twst wonderland #twst dorm leaders #disney twst #twst savanaclaw #twst leona #leona kingscholar x you #leona kingscholar #leona x reader #leona kingscholar scenarios #twst scenarios #leona kingscholar x reader #leona kingscholar x mc #twst x you

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miss-tc-nova · 3 years ago

Text

Betting Backfire - Azul Ashengrotto x Reader

I’m immensely torn between Leona and Azul. That’s it. I’m just in hell forever. Kay thanks. Bye.

Premise: Azul makes a bet, not getting the outcome he expected.

Music Inspiration: Love So Soft - Kelly Clarkson

~~~~~

Truly, the Monstro Lounge VIP room makes the perfect study room. A scritching pencil can barely be heard over the low, smooth jazz playing in the background, studiously taking notes. The chair, almost a throne, is comfortable without allowing its occupant to slouch and slack off. Before it sits the desk upon which some cunning documents have been writ is admittedly needlessly large, but does it’s job as a surface for my homework. Should one choose to, one of the two sofas may also make for fine seating for a reader. The coral lamp, however, provides the perfect amount of lighting for me, so desk it is. The only downside is the minor chill, though I suppose I can’t fault it too much considering the usual occupant of the room.

Pen aside, requiring the briefest break, I take up the glass just within reach. A loud, empty sound breaks my perfect study aura to alert me to my empty drink.

Normally, annoyance would be my first thought but today is a special day. Remembering the shining, silver bell on the corner of the desk is like a drug, flooding my veins with glee. The petite instrument gives off the most beautiful chime when lifted. And it summons the greatest prize I’ve ever won.

It takes mere seconds for my reward to arrive. A scowl rests on that pretty face, his grey eyes hard, and arms folded.

“What do you want now? I have customers to take care of.”

“Oh don’t be mad.” The delight in my voice clearly grates on him. “I just need a refill on my drink.”

That sigh is filled with his struggle to resume composure, but the housewarden stalks closer to take my glass. Aggravation laces his enquiry. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

Perching my shameless smirk atop interwoven fingers, I say, “No, that should be it.” As he turns to leave, I tack on just a bit more salt for his wounds. “Thank you, Zuzu.”

It takes him not long at all to return with a new beverage. By then, I’ve resumed my homework with a question to ask him.

“Hey Zuzu, remind me what the traits for the Great Seven are?”

There’s no hesitation in his answer. “Strictness, persistence, benevolence, mindfulness, tenacity, diligence, and nobility.”

“Right. Thanks.”

Eyes narrow at me. “Wouldn’t you be more comfortable studying in your own quarters?”

I mock consideration. “Mmm, nope.” One of the sofas holds my bag and I make my way towards it. “You got a nice little set up here. Besides, how could I ask you questions if I’m in my dorm and you’re here?” There’s at least three other classes I have homework for.

“If homework is all you needed help with, I would gladly help you,” he says. “Provided you’re willing to wait until the Monstro Lounge is closed.”

A loud slam sounds from my books hitting the desk. “Oh no no no.”

Startled by my retaliation, he backs into the desk.

One finger meets the brim of his hat, sending it to the floor. “We made a deal. Whoever got the lower score on the potionology test had to drink the potion made by the other.” By his scarf, I make a point. “And last I checked, ninety-nine is higher than ninety-eight.”

His cool demeanor falters. “Yes, but I—”

“You what? Didn’t think I’d score higher? Didn’t think I’d brew an obedience potion?” Arms fold. “Because I sure as hell know you would’ve made me drink every last drop of whatever you concocted. Isn’t that right, Azul? Say it.”

He sighs. “Yes.”

“And what was it you intended to make me drink? Poison? Eternal sleep? Maybe you also made an obedience potion.” Azul, some aggravation on his lips, looks away. “What was it?” We both know how this will end. “Tell me.”

Immediately, the magic compels Azul to react. “It was a l—”

But the boy, in some sad effort to fight his fate, slaps a hand over his mouth. That piques my interest: a potion he’s ashamed of despite wanting to use it on me.

“Azul,” I warn. “Don’t make me force it out of you.”

His head shakes in denial and I almost admire the fight in him. That shade of red creeping across his face is far more intriguing though.

“Uncover your mouth and tell me.”

Hands strain against the magic, but inevitably pull away from his mouth. Once free, his lips let loose his secret.

“It was a love potion.”

The shock that jolts my system is taken advantage of; Azul bolts for the door. A panicked grip snatches the handle, thwarted by just my voice.

“Stop.”

He freezes.

Even I’m not sure what I’m doing. “Close the door.”

It clicks shut.

“Come back here.”

Slow, reluctant steps bring him back to me, his face ruby red.

“Sit down.”

He does as he’s told.

A hand presses to my mouth as I try to come to grips with my situation.

It’s no secret that Azul has a reputation. He’s beautiful, smart, and crafty—granting any wish with steep price to match. He always comes out on top. Nevertheless, we got along well enough. That didn’t stop the Monstro Lounge manager from dangling his golden contracts in front of me, throwing out offers I have no doubt he could fulfill. Enough distance could not be put between me and those though, no matter how tempting that satin voice of his was. But what he wanted from all those trades never crossed my mind.

It wasn’t until two weeks ago, when I stupidly took the bait for our wager. The terms seemed fair enough—until I thought about them later—and I figured it would give me the motivation to study. I had better odds sprouting wings than beating Azul in a test so I came to terms with my ill-conceived fate. When I say we both got surprise of our lives when the results came back, that’s an understatement. And in my jubilation, I hadn’t put much thought into what the consequences of losing were. Even if I had, I don’t think I could’ve ever guessed it would be this.

It takes some effort to summon my voice. “So you were going to make me drink a love potion.”

Silver eyes avert.

“Why? What do you get out me being infatuated with you?” I’m an idiot. “Unless that’s what you wanted because…”

Oh, that deepening shade on his face confirms it all and I’m torn between being speechless and flattered.

“How long do those potions even last?”

“A few hours,” he murmurs.

“And what did you have planned for those few hours?”

Immediately, he blurts out, “Nothing untoward! I assure you!”

“Uh huh. So what did you think you were gonna do?”

His mouth opens. Then closes. Then opens and closes again. He repeats this a few times, never actually coming up with an answer.

“Nothing untoward, he says,” I scoff. “You’re saying you just wanted my attention? Is that it?”

Azul’s hands make for a poor disguise. First defeated, then forced to obey, and now exposed as a poor octopus craving attention: today must be miserable for him. I, on the other hand, find myself enjoying this never-before-seen Ashengrotto.

Little thought goes into the process when I decide to take up Azul’s lap. Muscles practically turn to stone beneath me and yet it takes only the smallest pressure to guide his gaze up. The shudder of his breath ghosts my lips, ruffling the butterflies in my chest.

“Is this what you wanted?” The excitement rising in me nearly overwhelms my words. Azul, his skin burning beneath my fingers, swallows thickly. “Answer me.”

It’s minute, but distinct; he nods.

I have to say, the lightning that strikes when our lips meet, I was never prepared for. All thoughts instantly become covetous for more. Lips softer than air press back with an addictive coolness. There’s a nervous tension behind them, not that my infatuation-riddled mind really acknowledges that; I may as well have taken that potion for how hard this hit me.

A few more kisses, however, and this craving turns insatiable. He’s holding back. Whether that be from the situation or the image he thinks he has, I want to break it. I want to rip out and expose that desire he’s been hiding from me all this time.

“Relax, sweetheart,” I whisper against his mouth.

In a soft exhale, stone lives again. There’s more reaction, more want in him, but it feels only like teasing. It’s still not enough—like a freefall perpetually waiting to hit the water.

Frustration bubbling in my chest, I lean back to stare down at him. There’s searching in his eyes; he’s analyzing me for something. While that’s not necessarily a bad thing, in this moment, I know I’ll never get what I want if he’s thinking.

With a growl, I leave the epicenter of my craving behind for the desk.

“Wh-Where are you going?” There it is, deep in him; I just have to pull it out.

Drawers nearly spill their contents for how forcefully I open them.

Immediately, Azul tries to stand. “What are you—”

“Stay right there,” I demand.

There it is, just sitting among his things: the bottle of pearlescent maroon liquid. The pop of the cork is surprisingly satisfying, as is the insecurity brewing on that pretty face.

Eyes follow in horror as the bottle is extended to him.

“Drink it.”

His hand reaches for the bottle. “Wh-What?!”

A smirk tugs at my lips. “Come now, don’t be shy.”

“But I already…” The bottle trembles in his grasp.

I divert his gaze to upward, lulling him into dropping his guard. “I know. So let’s remove some of that inhibition, shall we?” This weakness, just for me, has me on the edge of my seat. “Drink it.”

His glasses come with me as I pull away. Azul steels himself before tipping the bottle to his lips. I watch the contents disappear, the excitement building in my chest. Unable to help myself, I pull the empty flask from his hand and set it beside his glasses. Silver eyes train on me as I settle in once again and I see his apprehension losing its grip, giving way to the emotion he’s been trying to contain.

My lips lower. Just before finding his, I pull back, earning a tighter grasp on my hips. I didn’t even realize he’d taken up holding me. Still, rather than delve in just yet, I swipe my tongue across his lips, clearing away the drop that escaped him.

I don’t know what I thought a love potion would taste like, but an instant addiction was not my expectation. The sweetest, juiciest fruit had nothing on this, an immediate, euphoric buzzing infesting my skull. I can only imagine what it’s doing to him right now, but that groan gives me some indication.

That exhilarating shock hits again, instigating the buzz in my brain. This is what I wanted: everything. Azul doesn’t take charge—I don’t think it’s his true nature—but he answers my every demand, plunging us both headlong into the passion.

The time spent in our heavy make-out eludes me. Before I know it, we’re left panting messes by the time it begins to die down. Winning this wager of ours has opened my eyes to the kind of person Azul really is—and perhaps a bit about myself as well. Knowing has made me all the better with no intention of letting him go any time soon.

Treasuring his face between my hands, I hum, “Just look at how gorgeous you are.”

It’s been present on his face from the beginning, but that dust of pink across his nose brightens.

“I love you,” he murmurs.

A fresh wave of heat crashes on me, but I laugh as I situate myself to lie across the sofa. “No, you don’t. Not yet.”

To my delight, he moves with me, his head on my chest. “I mean it.”

“That’s the potion talking, love.” Fingers card through his hair. “Just…enjoy this.”

“But I—”

A palm silences him. While it was fun to unearth his true desires, I feel letting him spill all his secrets while under the influence is a bit unfair.

“No more talking. Just close your eyes and listen.”

Arms around my waist tighten, but Azul complies and I know he’s focused either on my heartbeat or my breathing. Regardless, it does the trick, eventually lulling the housewarden to sleep.

I, myself, am not down for an afternoon nap, even if I’m now pinned on the sofa. Thankfully, I have Azul’s phone—courtesy of his pocket and the thumb to unlock it—to entertain me. So I spend the next few hours mindlessly scrolling Magicam.

A groan pulls my attention to the boy resting against me. Considering I’ve never had a hangover in my life, I assume that’s what Azul’s feeling after consuming two mind-manipulating potions.

Careful fingers brush the hair from his face. “Hey there, sleepy-head. How’s that headache?”

The fist against his face must be an attempt to relieve the pain. “If I live, I will never make another deal with you for the rest of my life.”

“Bet you never had a deal backfire on you like that, huh.”

Azul pushes himself up, staring down at me with a mix of mortification and annoyance. A smile blooms across my face as a blush blooms across his. Immediately he removes himself from the sofa.

“Aw, Zuzu, don’t be mad. Didn’t you have fun?”

Those shoulders tighten, but my question goes unanswered. Those pretentious glasses slide back into place. “What is the effective time limit of that potion of yours?”

“Oh it wore off before you drank your love potion.”

Ooo, he’s just as cute when he’s flustered as he is when he’s irritated. “Excuse me?!”

“Oh yeah. I’ve got it down to a science. It ended sometime between making you confess and making you drink the potion.” I give him a wink with my cheeky grin. “And you still listened like a good boy.”

The hat is next to take its place, aiding him in hiding his fluster. “I don’t suppose there’s anything troubling you as of late?”

“Breaking your vows already, love?” My eyes slide to the housewarden. With his back to me, he pretends to peruse his tomes. Too bad I can still tell he wants something. “What’s the catch?”

A slim digit traces a spine. “An NDA.”

“Hah! No.”

He whirls back on me, his frustration in full view. But a second time, he dips his head to hide that expression. “My dear, be reasonable.” The negotiator in him is beginning to return, bringing with it some confidence. “Surely we can come to some sort of agreement. There must be something you want.”

“Of course there is. I am mortal after all.”

I see the smile before I see his face. He’s really trying to convince me. “Then name it. You can have whatever it is your darling heart desires.”

Having seen the state of him only hours ago, I know that gentle persuasion to raise my gaze to him is a façade. “I want…”

“Yes?” Only slightly too eager to hear my wish. “What is it?”

“—you to ask nicely.”

The request wipes his face blank. “What?”

On my feet, I snake my arms around his neck. “Oh Zuzu. You can’t treat me like a client—not anymore. I’ve beaten you, seen that poor, adorable, flustered boy behind the mask. I had you on your knees at my every whim. I would’ve hoped by now you would view me higher than those you scam out of their allowances.” A smirk takes my lips. “Or was this all just some little fling to you? You were gonna use your potion, taste my tongue, and just drop me?” He’s crumbling again. “You got your fill, Zuzu? Or do you maybe wanna try this again some time?”

The tremor in his chest is answer enough. Still, he does as I ask.

“Please don’t tell anyone about what happened.”

My thumb brushes his bottom lip. “Oh, sweetheart. This beautiful, vulnerable face—that’s only for me behind closed doors.”

I enjoy being the instigator, drudging up this side of Azul I doubt many have ever seen. Still, I want him to know vulnerability is an option with me.

A softer side shows itself. “Your secret’s safe, Azul. Trust me.”

He blinks once, twice, and then wraps his arms around my waist, resting his forehead against my shoulder.

“Thank you.”

~~~~~

Nova’s Twisted Wonderland Masterlist

#azul ashengrotto #azul x reader #twst azul #twisted wonderland azul #gender neutral reader

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interlunium-opus · 4 years ago

Text

No Place I’d Rather Be. [ Jay ]

[ Jay | fluff ]

Abstract: when you went to the library on the night when the Triennial Winter Ball was held, you expected to be all alone. But Jay, your best friend and the campus heartthrob is somehow already there waiting for you.

You stared out of the corridors of windows as you ascended up the staircase of the desolated library, your eyes fixated on the bustling crowd outside. It was the night the Triennial Winter Ball was held: basically the night everyone looked forward to the moment they started university. Unlike how dark, drab and quiet winter nights in campus usually are — tonight, the campus was alight with festive lights lining up the path leading up to the grand hall and students filtering in, decked in their “Sunday best”, filling the otherwise quiet night with cacophony of laughters, chatters, and whispers.

Standing in contrast with the crowd outside was you, all alone in the dimly-lit library, decked in monochrome with books in hand instead clinking glasses and waltzing with others in an elegant dress. You sighed as you thought to yourself, who am I kidding, my introverted soul wouldn’t last a minute in there.

“You’re late today.”

You jumped, startled, dropping some of the books you were carrying. Given the context of tonight, no one should have been in the library right now. Especially not the campus heartthrob and the social butterfly, Jay Park.

“Jay?” You called out, squinting your eyes to get a clearer view of the tall figure at the end of the aisle. The dim-lighting were of no help at all but the blonde locks and the deep voice were a massive giveaway, “wait..what are you doing here?!”

“You look petrified to see your own best friend, it’s almost heartbreaking,” Jay muttered sarcastically as he made his way towards you before reaching down to pick up the books you had dropped.

“Well, duh, no one should be here tonight especially not you,” you retorted as you walked towards your usual seat at the corner, the one with the large windows and dimmest lighting, “people are going to think that you got kidnapped or something and oh God, the amount of hearts you’re breaking tonight with your no-show.”

“Well, what’s your excuse?” Jay raised an eyebrow at you.

“Jay, we have been best friends for almost 2 years now, you know why I am not there — I would just combust,” you said as a matter-of-factly as you took a seat.

“But it’s our final year, you’ve got to make it count — socially I mean. And come on, it’s the Triennial Winter Ball not some frat party,” he grumbled as he sat on the armrest of the chair next to you with his body facing you and arms folded. Being a massive extrovert with a lifestyle that tends toward opulence — tonight’s extravagance was right up his alley and all month long he had been endlessly badgering you to attend it. Being the massive introvert you are though, the ball is basically the last thing you would want to attend.

That said, as incredulous as the friendship between the two of you are to many people, you two are polar opposites that complement one another in a way that two differently-shaped puzzle pieces can only fit one another. Being a social butterfly, your individualism, rationality and brilliant intellect really stood in stark contrast with the homogenous crowd and superficial conversations that he constantly surround himself with. With an equally subtle sarcastic dark humor to match, a tenacity like no others and a brilliant intellect that constantly challenge and stimulates his mind — you’re like an oasis in the desert.

Likewise, Jay, too, was like a breath of fresh air to you. You have had some initial reservations about him though. After all, he was more known for his lavish lifestyle and the parties he throw. But beyond those such fronts, Jay was highly knowledgable with strong passion for what he believes in — qualities of which really matched yours. Not to mention, being pragmatic and rational himself, he was one of the rare few people in your life that you don’t need to put up a social filter for as he is always able to objectively understand your views and opinions.

That is how you two end up going from being touted as the “cursed” pairing that was doomed to fail when you two were first paired for a project in “Modern Political Thought” module, to the Dream Team that ended up trouncing everyone else’s project, attaining the highest score out of everyone in class. In fact, you two just keep on surprising everyone by becoming almost inseparable even after the module ended.

“Who’s to say a couple of drinks isn’t going to turn a ball into a frat party?” You shot him an incredulous look before turning your attention to the books you were flipping, “… exam is around the corner anyway.”

“1.5 months away,” he emphasized as he lowered his head down to your level, peeking over your shoulders to take a closer look at your notes, “Seriously? you’re skipping tonight’s extravagance and festivities for Multivariate Functions and Lagrangian? I’d have let it slide if you were working on a prose instead.”

“Well what’s your excuse for being here then? I’m pretty sur-“ you stopped mid-sentence, caught off guard by how close his face actually was to yours when you looked up to face him. Jay’s face as usual was unperturbed, his blonde locks softly framed his chiseled face and his lips was pouty in concentration as his eyes travelled from one end of your notebook to the other before he turned his face slightly and met your gaze. You swore for a moment you felt your heart skip a beat but the moment one corner of his lips lifted into his signature lopsided grin, that thought immediately disappeared as you knew he was going to say something sarcastic or dramatic.

“How can I be so selfish and party away when my best friend is all sad and depressed alone in this library?”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, “Jay, as if-”

“Also,” he suddenly interjected, “the girl that I asked out for tonight rejected me so….”

“Wait, what?!” You gasped, “The Jay Park got rejected?”

“I know right. She rejected an offer that millions would have killed for,” he shrugged as he straightened back up.

“Exactly! who in their right mind would- anyway, at the risk of sounding insensitive, couldn’t you have substituted her with other girls? Like you said, millions would have killed to be your date — you can just pick and choose.”

“Wow, ____, you really have ice in your veins don’t you?” he smirked.

“Whatever, just being rational.”

“I know. I definitely could. I mean the head cheerleader asked me out too so I could have just accepted it,” he murmured, “but...” he paused, “as cringeworthy as this sounds, 80% of the reason why I really looked forward to the ball was because I was looking forward to spending it with the girl who rejected me. So without her in the picture, the whole vision just suddenly lost its spark. Like… I’d rather just spend time with her then whether it is at a ball or library or wherever.”

“Oh…” you managed, unsure how to react, “that’s kind of… deep I guess. Well yeah, I mean if you still don’t feel bitter over her rejecting you then sure, you do you, go after her. Unless of course she’s at the ball with someone else then maybe not…”

Instead of responding promptly as he usually does, Jay just heaved a huge sigh as if he was disappointed or something. His eyes glued onto yours as if trying to pry some information out of your mind, “You know you’re awfully dense. Have you ever thought that maybe you’re too studious that it’s beginning to cost you your social skills or something?”

Jay has always been blunt but tonight, it was just on a different level. It was almost like he was here to intentionally grate you as if someone was actually keeping score. You retorted, “Excuse me. Did you just come all the way here to push my buttons? Because yo-“

You stopped mid-sentence again when he suddenly leaned closer towards you, his hands on either side of you, one on the edge of your table and the other, gripping your headrest, “I am already with her right now.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion, your mind working on overdrive.

“Fine,” he uttered, ”let me spell it out for you — you’re the girl. You’re the one who rejected me. Twice.”

You opened your mouth to tell him to stop joking but his unperturbed facial expressions told you otherwise. Still in disbelief, you stammered, “No way — Me? When?! I mean we talked about the ball a couple of times but you’ve never… unless - wait… you were serious?”

You remembered it was a Saturday night, about 2 weeks ago at almost 4 AM when you and Jay was at the library burning the midnight oil. You were busy trying to finish up your Econometrics assignment while Jay, who had long given up with his Philosophy assignment, was engrossed in a movie marathon next to you.

“Ugh,” you groaned when your regression results turned ‘insignificant’. You turned your attention to the papers and books strewn across your desk, frantically flipping through the pages to see where the error could have been and how else can you rectify this.

“You need to sleep on it,” Jay murmured, casting worried glances at you, “You’ve been on it for hours.”

“I can’t,” you shook your head, your eyes scanning over your messy handwriting, “I’ll end up obsessing about it again at home so I definitely need to get to the bottom of this today, that’s the only way I can sleep.”

Jay sighed, pausing his movie and turning his attention fully towards you, “Fine. But you really need to reward yourself for working so hard this semester because otherwise, you’ll just burn out. Also, by reward, I did not mean hibernating.”

“Hmm,” you nodded absentmindedly when suddenly Jay snatched the pen you were using, “Hey ___ eyes on the person talking please. What did I just say?”

You rolled you eyes, relenting, “Something about rewarding myself and not hibernating — there, happy? Can I get my pen back?”

“Good,” Jay beamed, quickly pulling his hand away when you were about to snatch your pen back from his grasp, “The Triennial Winter Ball would be a good idea of a reward by the way.”

You scoffed, “Jay, that is probably your idea of a reward but it definitely won’t be mine. First, I’ve got to look all made up from top to bottom — that takes up too much resources for something an introvert like me possibly won’t even enjoy — that’s the equivalent of some floppy investment prospects right there.

“Secondly, I avoid crowds like the plague whenever I could help it and the ball has all the variables that could make me combust on spot: there are a lot people; a lot of emotions; a lot of expectations and — well, you get the picture.

“And finally, I would need to find someone to go with — again, too much trouble.“

“You have me, where’s the trouble in that?” he asserted, snatching your pencil case away this time when you were about to reach for it, “Just go with me then.”

“Yeah no that’s ridiculous,” you shook your head, stretching your hand out to him, beckoning him to give your stationaries back, “Stop playing, give me my stationaries back.”

Ignoring your demand, he pressed on, “Why is that so ridiculous?”

You sighed, “Because A) everyone wants a piece of you so B) I’d be burnt at stake if we do go together. And also C) You should spend that special night with a special someone, not your best friend — come on, Jay, you need to work on your prioritization skill.”

“Wait — that was meant to be it?” You shrieked as you recalled the memory, “I mean, it just rolls so casually in our conversation — I couldn’t have possibly picked it up as serious. Anyway, fine — when was the other time?”

“Just a few days ago when I was sending you home,” Jay replied as-a-matter-of-factly. Jay remembered skipping dance practice that night, earning an earful from the instructor the next day, just so that he can walk you home after your Students’ Union meeting with the president, Yang Jungwon.

“You’re really set on not going to the ball?” Jay asked for the umpteenth time and you nodded.

“What if I tell you that I know someone who is thinking of asking you out for the ball?” Jay prodded, stopping you in your tracks, “I’m serious.”

“Still no.”

“I have not even told you who he was,” Jay grumbled.

“Fine, entertain me,” you relented.

“Jungwon.”

“Jay stop messing around.”

“I told you I’m serious, geez,” Jay said exasperatedly.

“But why — what is that kid thinking…”

“I don’t know — maybe you should stop having some night meetings with him alone before it grows into a full-blown crush or something,” Jay shrugged before you smack him lightly on the arm. “Ouch!” he whined, “Anyway so? Will that be a yes or a no?”

“Of course no, Jungwon’s a definite no.”

“Well, I saved him from a heartbreak then,” Jay mumbled.

“Huh?” You stared at him.

“Nothing,” Jay quipped, smiling sheepishly. The truth was, one of the reason why he insisted to walk you home tonight was because he overheard Jungwon telling Heeseung this morning that he definitely would ask you out to the ball after the meeting, perhaps right after, perhaps while walking you home. Knowing that someone as upright as Jungwon was going to ask you out, Jay thought he should have been elated for this might mean that you will actually come to the ball. But somehow, like a broken record, the conversation kept on playing in his mind all day during his classes, accompanied with the 1001 likely scenarios of how you’d likely respond to him. By the time night has set in, all he knew was that he was dead set on not letting Jungwon ask you out to the ball, by hook or by crook. He did not fully comprehend why, perhaps he just did not like Jungwon, he thought. Or maybe, he didn’t like you with Jungwon together — or perhaps, he actually didn’t like you with any other guys. Fortunately by the time he had reached the Student Centre of the Campus, completely out of breath that is, he can see that you and Jungwon were still discussing the union project. Once the meeting ended, as indicated by Jungwon switching the projector off, Jay just barged in, announcing that he’ll take you home much to your suprise and to Jungwon’s dismay.

“Why not though?” Jay suddenly asked, “I mean accepting Jungwon? He’s like the textbook example of an ideal guy: cute, smart, upright, overachiever and whatnot”

“Well, my good friend has a crush on him for the longest time so that’s one big reason,” you explained, “also, we don’t even know each other that well on a personal level for me to say yes to.”

“Then would you go with me instead?” Jay suddenly grabbed onto your hand, stopping you in your tracks, “I mean, if you’re worried about having a good time, wouldn’t I be ideal then?”

For a moment, silence engulfed the two of you as you two stared into one another’s eyes. You opened your mouth to say something but immediately closed it, remembering how just this morning you overheard that the head cheerleader had asked Jay out, “Jay, just go with someone else more fitting okay? You don’t have to pity invite me or something, I’m fine. I heard the head cheerleader asked you out — isn’t that perfect? two campus heartthrobs together? You guys would be the talk of campus and the envy of many.”

Despite the praises, he could feel his heart sank. While it was not an explicit rejection, your nonchalance, for the second time, pricked him. Not one to be emotional, he plastered a smile as he slowly let your hand go, “Yeah, I guess.”

“Oh no, crap, I’m sorry Jay,” you sank in your seat as you stared at him in disbelief. No wonder, he looked so taken aback that night, you thought, and how cold he was the next day. “You know what, yeah I’m definitely dense — I think I traded my social skills for good grades. You can tease me with that all you want, I won’t even try to defend myself anymore.”

“Well, on the bright side, flirtations from others can’t get through to you — you’re like a fortress or something,” Jay chuckled, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry though really,” you bit your lip, apologetic, “What can I do to make it up to you? Oh you know what — that Michelin-starred restaurant that just opened up in the corner? How about I’ll treat you there for tomorrow? It’ll break my wallet but if it will unbreak what I’ve done to you -- I’d gladly commit to the splurge.”

“Oh come on, I’m not that materialistic,” Jay scoffed, “Do you mean it though, that you’ll do anything?”

“Absolutely,” you nodded, “Within moral and ethical bounds, that is.”

Suddenly Jay extended his hand towards you, beckoning you to take it.

“You’re not dragging me to the ball right now right?” you took his hand and he pulled you up to your feet, leading you towards a more spacious area, “We’re underdressed for it Jay. I mean look at me, I’m decked in monochrome -- I basically look like I’m mourning.”

He chuckled as he pulled out his AirPods case, taking out one and gently inserting it into your ear before inserting the other pair into his, “Don’t worry, there are no dress codes for our own private ball.”

Soft music started to play through the AirPods, it was “Best Part” by Daniel Caesar ft. H.E.R. “Just dance along with me alright? I don’t need to be splurged on,” Jay’s hand slowly snaked over your back, pulling you close to him as he carefully yet smoothly guide you to the melody of the music.

“Well, gotta warn you though,” you smiled sheepishly, “I’m bad at this so don’t sue me if I step on your Pradas.”

“Fine, exclusively for tonight, I’ll put my Pradas at risk,” he quipped, his eyes glued onto yours, “Say, if you had known that I was serious — would you have said ’yes’ to me?”

You looked up, meeting his warm gaze which somehow, perhaps due to the proximity, was making your heart skip a beat, “I think so? I mean, I hate crowds but you would usually make me forget that I was in one. Also, you’ve always said yes to all of my weird adventures so I always feel like I need to repay you back in-kind if the opportunity arises.”

Despite always trying to keep his composure in the face of any nerve-wrecking moment, Jay failed this time as he feel his smile widened while his heart raced uncontrollably. He couldn’t exactly pinpointed why: was it your sudden heart-fluttering words; was it the proximity; was it the the warmth that he could feel on both hands; was it the atmosphere; was it the fireworks that was starting to set off outside; or was it just you?

Suddenly, he thought in retrospect, he was glad that you had said “no” to him. He wouldn’t have traded the moment tonight, just you and him away from all the external noises, for a waltz in a crowded and noisy ballroom, even with all the glitz and glamour that it offers. In fact, tonight best represented what you meant to him, like that of an oasis in a desert, your presence alone is enough for him even if he has to search through the highs and lows for you -- it is just you who he’ll gravitate to eventually.

_______

Author’s note: first imagine wheee! Hope you guys like this one :3

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen jay #enhypen scenarios #enhypen jay imagines #enhypen jongseong #enhypen fluff #kpop imagines #enhypen drabbles

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cornholio4 · 4 years ago

Text

Scarlet Lady Au: Two Halves of Marinette’s Heart

Author’s Note: Based on Zoe-Oneesama's Tumblr comic Scarlet Lady which is my fave Ladybug fan content or tied along with LadyBugOut. Only there and the amnesiac Adrien in the episode Oblivion do I ship Adrienette. Also happy birthday to Zoe.

@zoe-oneesama

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was smiling as he was riding on the back of one of her boyfriends Luka Couffaine's bike as he had insisted on giving her a ride to school. He and Adrien Agreste had recently revealed their feelings to her and she was torn between them: the cute and nice Adrien and the cool but also dorky like her Luka. It was tough to think it through even after they had both assured her that they don't want to hurt their friendship with her no matter what she choose. It was Alya who stepped in after healing her dilemma had said that she can just date them both since she had two hands for the each of them. Luka and Adrien were fine with this as long as Marinette was happy and it was then their relationship happened over the weekend.

They had let their family know and they accepted it well: Anarka was quite over the top in her excitement, Marinette's parents and embarrassed her by saying that she had got them 2 sons in law; Juleka had likewise already claimed Marinette as her sister in law and Adrien's father... Marinette and Luka looked at him in sympathy when he just shook his head saying that he was too busy to get a chance to tell him. Marinette comforted him with a hug not really liking how her favourite designer was so cold to his own son. Pollen was more than happy about his Miraculous' owner's new relationship and said his queen deserved all the love that she gets.

Marinette kissed Luka on the cheek after she got off and Adrien was there to greet them as they posed together for a picture smiling which Juleka took with Adrien's photo. Luka and Adrien showed off their custom necklaces around their necks made by Marinette of two halves of a heart with "Marinette's heart" inscribed on them.

"Are you sure that you are ready for everyone to know about you three?" Juleka asked giving Adrien back his phone and they nodded without hesitation.

"I don't really care as much for father's opinion but he seems to like Marinette as an up and coming designer so I think he will give approval." Adrien said with a huffed voice which had them silent.

"I wouldn't want to hide being with Marinette at all; I would sing it with my soul." Luka said Adrien posted the picture on social media with the caption:

Me with Luka Couffaine and our amazing new girlfriend Marinette Dupain-Cheng!

They got in and as students saw the notice they began crowding Marinette and Adrien as they came in holding hands as they went to their classroom. There were students wanting to get a look at 2 3rds of the new couple as they heard the comments:

"Marinette scored herself with 2 cute guys!"

"Are you going to be modelling Marinette's designs now Adrien?"

"So are you going to be Marinette Dupain-Cheng-Agreste-Couffaine in the future?"

They ignored them and walked into class with Juleka not far behind them to see their excited classmates wanting to know the details.

"So Adrien, will you and Luka be fighting eachother to get the most out of Marinette's time?" Alix asked as Marinette glared at her while Rose was squealing about how romantic it was. Marinette was taken aback when she noticed Lila and Sabrina glaring at their direction while looking quite jealous.

She was shocked by this thinking that she was getting along with Lila and Sabrina was forming a good friendship with her while helping her start over from her toxic so called 'friendship' that she had with Chloe. Marinette's eyes widened when she noticed that Adrien went to get to his seat and their looks were going to his direction, so it was Adrien they were angry at?

"Can I please ask if Adrien has done something to anger you?" Marinette asked as they both shook their heads and there were laughter.

"Marinette, they are just jealous that Adrien and Luka got to you first!" Alya told her grinning as they ended up nodding slightly a bit embarrassed.

"You helped me be more truthful about myself and I still remember how in love that I felt when I heard you badmouth that terrible Scarlet Lady!" Lila said as Marinette was open mouthed wondering just could she possibly remember that since she was Volpina at the time. Marinette did remember that while she was telling the love struck Volpina that she hated Hawk Moth more than Scarlet Lady, that she a bit scared that Volpina was going to kidnap her as a bride for her comment alone.

"You've always been so nice to me Marinette and never held what I did for Chloe against me, even when I tried to steal your diary for her and lied my way into your room. You've been more of a friend to me than Chloe ever was and you are so amazing." Sabrina told her as Marinette didn't know what to say.

"I bet Luka and Adrien wouldn't mind if you wanted to date Marinette as well, if Marc is alright with Nathaniel wanting to go after Marinette as well." Rose suggested as Marinette, Sabrina, Lila and Nathaniel were now red in the face.

"Dupain-Cheng!" screamed an unwelcome voice as the entire class groaned in unison as they should have dreaded this reaction as Chloe came in looking angrier than they had ever saw her which was quite an accomplishment for her. "How dare you steal my Adrikins away from me! I could care less if you wanted to waste your time with that loser with the guitar as losers belong together, that do you think that I was going to sit back and let you keep them both for yourself when Adrien is mine!" Chloe thundered as the class glared at her.

"Watch what you say about Marinette or my brother!" Juleka said speaking up using courage that almost never comes to her.

"Adrien is not a prize to be won or yours to claim Chloe; it's his choice who he wants to be with!" Marinette told her as Chloe smirked getting out her phone.

"Managed to get a picture of your little notebook when you had it open and wasn't looking Dupain-Cheng." Chloe said showing off a drawing of a love heart around Chat Noir as Marinette was open mouthed at that picture being shown to the class and red in her face but while angry at Chloe, Adrien couldn't help but smile a bit at the picture. "So do you want to claim the mangy cat as well Dupain-Cheng with how pathetic you are?" Chloe snarked looking victorious but Adrien spoke up.

"Nothing wrong with having a celebrity crush Chloe, I have one on Marigold myself." Adrien said taking out his notebook and showing that it had a photo of the Bee heroine Marigold with a heart drawing around it as Marinette was redder in the face while Chloe was open mouthed.

"Nothing wrong with that dude, she is pretty much the best hero that Paris has now!" Nino said with everyone smiling and nodding in agreement besides Chloe and Marinette. Marigold has with her fighting tenacity, warm comforting words to Akuma victims after they were being freed and happy to help civilians in need made her a more popular hero. She had given interviews and how valued Chat Noir was as a partner and helped Paris realise how hard he had to fight against the Akumas.

"Excuse me but Scarlet Lady is by far Paris' best hero!" Chloe retorted by Alya got out her phone and showed the poll that the news station had made asking Paris citizens who they liked the best.

Marigold was in the lead followed by Chat Noir, Maotif the one time temporary Chat Noir was in 3rd place and in a very distant 4th place with barely 1% vote was Scarlet Lady. "Paris disagrees Chloe." Alya told her and Chloe was furious. People were being interviewed and the stories of people's interactions with Scarlet Lady were now circulating.

"Adrien, you can't seriously be okay with this! I'm your friend and we would be much better than stupid Dupain-Cheng!" Chloe told Adrien but he shook his head.

"'Were' your friend Chloe, 'were' as in we used to be and haven't really been friends for a long time but I am just making it official!" Adrien thundered and Chloe was open mouthed and this surprised the class. "Sorry Chloe, I have tried to give you some time to better yourself but you keep pulling these stunts while being a cruel bully to our classmates and treating me like a possession of yours. Calling my girlfriend and my new bro losers was me losing all patience and I can't pretend anymore. I am sorry Chloe but I can't be friends with you anymore, you are different from the friend that I used to have." Adrien said and Chloe furiously charged at Marinette.

Adrien caught her hand and glared at her hard before letting go, Chloe began ranting and shouting on the spot while kicking the desk and Ms Bustier had to tell her off and send her to the principal's office.

"Sorry about that Adrien..." Marinette said since as much bad blood as there was between her and Chloe, the bully did used to be a friend to Adrien.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, just keep being the girl that I love." Adrien told her and she smiled back.

Later in the week, after school they were at a park bench as Marinette was at Luka's lap and Adrien was in Marinette's as the three relaxed together. However they heard screaming and saw an Akuma attacking people in the streets.

Marinette jumped out of Luka's lap and helped Adrien up who was in a similar panic as her's. "Sorry guys, I hate to break up a perfect moment but... I have to get a cake to Nadja and I don't want to be earlier than I was last time since it didn't go so well..." Marinette said thinking on the spot.

"Don't worry... I just remembered an event that my dad would want me to be at..." Adrien said as they both ran off in separate directions.

Luka smiled as she dusted himself off and went home chuckling at them, after a few days of this did they really think that he would not pierce it together? No matter, this means that he could talk to Adrien about Marigold and bond over them crushing on her.

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ukeishin · 4 years ago

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— friends forever and ever and ever

note: im impatient so im posting rn 😁 but i’ve been having a lot of hinata thoughts lately. pls let me know what you thought of this!! i’d love to know :)

ft. hinata shoyo

warning: angst, hanahaki disease, unrequited love, blood

⤷ main page

You had no one to blame but yourself for your current predicament.

Your waste bin overflowing, your desk in total disarray, and your floor a mess as well.

Then again, it wasn’t like you intended to fall for Hinata, you muse, picking up one of the red-tinged petals you coughed up only moments ago. Using the sleeve of your sweatshirt, you carefully wipe off the blood that’s collected at the corner of your mouth. You grimace when you pull your arm away from your lips and see how crimson now stains the material of your sweatshirt. You’ll have to toss it into the wash later with all of your other blood-stained clothing.

The wooden frame of your bed digs into your back as you lean your head against your mattress. You wince at the sharp pain in your chest when you accidentally take a deep breath and begin to shallow your breathing so as to not further aggravate the flowers blooming in your lungs. Pity how something so beautiful only grows in such unfortunate circumstances. If you didn’t feel like absolute shit at the moment, perhaps you’d be able to admire it.

Hanahaki disease. The physical manifestation of unrequited love.

What a load of shit.

It’s rather dramatic in your opinion, and quite frankly rude. How dare your body betray your true feelings when the object of your affections so clearly does not feel the same way?

A tired grin crosses your face at the thought of Hinata: the man who’s been one of your closest friends ever since high school. Reflecting back, it was truly only a matter of time before you fell for him. While the two of you attended Karasuno, you were able to chalk up your feelings to those of friendship, but as time progressed, they evolved and soon enough morphed into romantic ones.

In high school, you successfully fooled yourself into believing your feelings were platonic.

At the time, Hinata was strictly your friend. You weren’t blind, you could appreciate that he was cute, in a boyish sort of way, but you were more preoccupied with things you deemed more important: schoolwork, managerial duties for the boys' volleyball team, and worries about your future.

But Hinata had somehow inserted himself in your life and stuck.

He was hopeless in school and the moment he found out that you scored relatively well in comparison to him, he begged you to tutor him. You were a bit skeptical at first, but you eventually relented. You were pleasantly surprised to find that Hinata was eager to learn the material and attentively listened to what you had to say, even if it was only because passing his exams was the only way for him to attend the Tokyo training camp.

You admired Hinata's tenacity and often stayed behind after practice had ended in the gymnasium to help him run drills over and over. He was determined to be the best he could be, and you didn’t mind helping him achieve his goals even if you weren’t exactly well-versed in volleyball. He would seek out your input and if you had any critiques or advice for him, Hinata would take it to heart and incorporate it into his next play.

Soon you began to spend time together outside of tutoring sessions and volleyball practices. You’d hang out with Natsu together and indulge in her whims and desires: weaving friendship bracelets, painting rocks, playing volleyball, and more. Your presence in the Hinata household became normalized, to the point where you could show up at their front door unannounced, and Natsu would simply throw the door open and exclaim, “big sibling!”

You’ve always been the greatest of friends so you’re not entirely sure when the change occurred.

Maybe it was when he left for Brazil. While Hinata was continents away playing volleyball, you remained in Japan attending university. It was easy to distract yourself with schoolwork and internships, but at the end of the day, you missed Hinata terribly. You two did your best to keep in contact with text messages and facetime, but with the time difference, it was difficult. It wasn’t the same and no amount of homework could fill that Hinata-shaped void in your life.

Up until that point, you didn’t realize just how much Hinata had weaseled his way into your life. It wasn’t like your life had ever revolved solely around Hinata, but you had grown accustomed to his presence. No matter what, you could always count on him to be there for you with a bright smile and some silly, but encouraging words.

It was when Hinata returned from Brazil after two years abroad that you realized you were completely and utterly fucked.

He had grown into himself in more ways than one. He carried himself with more confidence than he did before and his features weren’t cute in a boyish way anymore. He had matured and to put it bluntly, Hinata got fucking hot. His skin was sun-kissed, a beautiful golden tan, and he had grown a few inches taller in his time away. The muscles that lie right underneath his skin were strong and corded, and it didn’t go unnoticed how the muscles in his thighs were especially prominent. There was no doubt that Hinata had changed greatly in his time spent in Brazil, but then again, some things never really change. He still had that same old grin, which would brighten your day no matter the circumstances.

The two of you were able to pick up your friendship right where it left off.

That’s when the flowers had started to bloom.

You were unlucky even in comparison to others who suffered from Hanahaki disease. Most of the time, the growth of the flowers in one’s lungs would be gradual. However, in your case, it was accelerated. The first time you experienced a coughing fit, you filled your waste bin to the brim with bloodied petals.

You suppose it was because the realization that you were in love with Hinata had hit you like a freight train.

You did your best to conceal that you had Hanahaki disease. It would do no good to worry anyone with it, especially Hinata. Being in love with someone who didn’t love you was one thing. Being in love with an idiot who didn’t love you was another. If Hinata learned that you had Hanahaki, his first question would be “Who’s responsible?” and it would take everything within you to not scream that it was him.

So you crafted the perfect facade. You would plaster on a smile in front of others and act like everything was completely okay even if behind closed doors, blood-soaked petals were beginning to pile up. If anybody seemed to suspect something was amiss, you would wave aside their concerns and assure them that you were just feeling a little under the weather.

It hurt that Hinata didn’t love you back, but what hurt most was that he didn’t love someone else. There was no other person that was the object of his affections. There was no one that you could blame and point to as the reason why Hinata didn’t love you in return. The fact that Hinata just didn’t see you in any other way than a friend hurt more than the flowers killing you.

Alstroemerias. Those were the flowers that were filling up your lungs. A hollow laugh filled the air when you looked up the meaning of them: friendship. How cruel of the world to make the flowers blooming in your lungs represent the only relationship you would ever have with Hinata.

But, you’d rather have Hinata as a friend than not at all.

So you take care to maintain the smile that’s beginning to strain and ignore the sharp pain in your chest when Hinata tells you that you’re the best friend he could ever have.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagine #hinata x reader #hinata angst #hinata shoyo x reader #hinata x you #hinata imagine #hinata shoyo x you #celeste.adores #adoring.hinata #celeste.scribs

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saturnsummer · 4 years ago

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law school: love and goodbye letters

notes: i would like to give out love letters to the amazing cast, our 8 students from hankuk law school. like what the director said, i’ll support them in their journeys as they take a step into their new chapter, wherever they go. their stories continue and live on. it’s been an amazing journey, although I was initially hesitant on starting it. while i will definitely be suffering withdrawals and probably think about it too much, i’m thankful i started watching.

the finale has left me with so many thoughts, I want to send them off right. also, writing these letters have helped my process my feelings towards the show and stop me from getting so withdrawn. so, shall we begin this court hearing?

over the next couple of days, my inbox will be open to requests! i may not write the fastest, but I’m willing to fulfil any of your desires about law school now that it has ended.

(skip please, if you don’t want to see my personal reflections.)

HAN JOON HWI// KIM BEOM

you have been a pleasure to watch, a seasoned actor indeed. you brought life to joon hwi, depicting the student that is smart, aloof, but is actually caring for their friends alike.

joon hwi, when you entered law school, you wanted to be a prosecutor. now, you finally got your dream. you were broken, sad, betrayed by your uncle. you remind yourself that you cannot be your uncle. but at the end, you’re happy, aren’t you? you’ve been through hell, yet somehow you told yourself to hang on. believe it, samchoon is proud he raised a noble nephew to fight and correct the flaws in the law.

you have taught us the black and whites, yet seeing the greys of law. and with that, as you continue your journey as a prosecutor, remember to judge fairly and make sure no one suffers unjustly.

you’ve done well, kim beom. thank you.

KANG SOL A// RYU HYE YOUNG

hyeyoung, you’ve brought so many emotions across the screen. as kang dan and sol, you had the challenge to play polar opposites, the moon and sun. you were feisty, you were soft. yet, you brought the humane qualities out of sol, conveying it to us.

kang sol a, you represent that majority of students, or even adults alike. you’re single parented. you come from a broken family. you have an estranged sibling, one you try so hard to find. you are barely making enough to live by. on top of that, you are on a scholarship, yet scoring grades that skim the pass. you represent so many students in the world. yet, you didn’t let these weights hold you from feeling your passion into law. you fought tirelessly for your friends and family, and stayed grounded in your morals and values.

this is why you are my personal favourite. that you love and strive for something so much, you work on it endlessly and still rigorously put in hard work. your passion for law inspires me to be equally passionate for my future degree as well. the fact that you went to law school seeking an apology, I hope you have gotten your apology. your zeal for justice will live on.

as a lawyer now, i hope you will remember your endless nights. i hope you know your worth. i hope that everyday, you trust yourself and be bold and courageous, like how you are when defending for your professor. you will excel, and you will be a good lawyer.

so thank you, for speaking up for the students who find it tough to get through school. for telling us and giving us faith that we can survive.

KANG SOL B// LEE SOO KYUNG

sookyung, you are far from your character of solb. yet, you were a perfect representation. you were elegant, classy and held that prestige whenever you acted.

solb, you represent that group of us that are pressured. when the society pressures us, it is nothing compared to our family’s pressures. you held your mom’s pressure to heart, studying endlessly, trapped in a cage that you couldn’t get out of. you isolated yourself to break free, acting cold.

you finally broke free, with your consultations with your therapist. and i hope you know just how proud i am of you for standing up for yourself. your unnies and oppas will always be supporting you, and wherever you are now, whether you are training to be a judge or not, i hope you never forget that you are supported. you are a free bird, and you should do things for yourself.

thank you, for being the solb we have learnt to love, the student we aspire to be. solb, you are forever an A+ in our eyes.

SEO JI HO// LEE DAVID

david, you are the man backstage always goofing off. your character hates goofing. yet, your simple eyes and acting brought so many emotions. you didn’t have many emotional scenes, but your expressions were so well done.

jiho, you started law to fight for your dad, for justice to be served. but over your journey, aren’t you glad you have made so many friends? your 3 years there have proved that you have earned justice, but you earned friendships that you will never experience anywhere else.

wherever you are, if you are at a law firm working and earning lots of money, cherish the friendships. justice is served. learn and let go, and maybe you will enjoy your life a bit more.

JEON YE SEUL// GO YOUN JUNG

youn jung, where can i start? your acting was phenomenal. you played the cheery girl so well, yet at the same time you empathised with the victim of a domestic abuse. your scenes blew me away.

yeseul, I hope you carry this on your heart. you are loved, you are right. you are not wrong. you speak up for those abused, because you were once them. with the power of the law, I know you will go on to defend for them and fight for them. you will bring justice, and you will be the woman of power in the courtroom.

leave your immature self behind. you have matured to be a woman of confidence, boldness and most importantly, knowing you are not wrong.

you will be the woman of the courtroom. your kindness is your strength. wherever you are, defending abuse victims, thank you for speaking out for the millions of women who victimise themselves, still. you have inspired the generation of women to provide support for them.

MIN BOK GI// LEE KANG JI

kangji, your goofiness on set and in the show plays out especially well. you were lively, yet at the same time the right support we needed.

bokgi, you will forever be remembered as the boy who comes to classes with a head band. you were casual, easy going and the extroverted one in the study group. you brought life to them, taught them to live and take things easy. you supported yeseul regardless, and always stop by her side. you are unafraid to be defensive over your friends.

for that, we thank you for being the character that is loyal. that regardless of what happened, you stayed with your group even though you could easily walk away.

JO YE BEOM// KIM MIN SEOK

minseok, you were fun to watch on set, yet a more fun character to watch grow with your actor friends. yebeom had many iconic lines, yet you did well in them.

yebeom, I will not understand why you were a spy. i however, will empathise your situation. what could you do? regardless, all that is useless now. you were sidekicks with your bestie bokgi, and together, you were both the life of the group that reminded them to breathe.

you made a good choice to be honest when sol a confronted you. and you should be thankful that the group still kept you even after all that. I hope that in your law career, you will remember the codes of law, and remember what is right. you stand for truth, you stand for justice.

YOO SEUNG JAE// HYUN WOO

hyunwoo, you had lesser scenes, yet each scene you had was a turmoil of emotions each time. you conveyed your emotions so well, and I’m so impressed.

seungjae, you are the oldest of the study group. you’ve been through a lot, haven’t you? you’re permanently suspended from law school, and with a kid now. I hope things are going well for you, whether you are a doctor or a computer guy now.

thank you for being the bigger man, to admit to his mistakes and asking for a bigger punishment. you have deep regrets, but I know you will grow and learn from them. you deserve your happiness.

to my law school fam,

thank you for this beautiful journey. you have taught me to be righteous, to be bold and to be confident. you taught me the results of tenacity. you taught me how to upload my values. you taught me the reasons to be lawful and that I should stand by my morals. you taught me confidence and courage.

truth and justice, only by the law.

it’s been a journey, my graduates. I close the hearing as make my final decision. i will close my case.

thank you, directors, pds, writers, staff, editors, musicians, make up and stylists. I hope you will meet again on another shoot.

goodbye, thank you. we’ll see each other again.

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zhowongli · 5 years ago

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coming home (right into your arms)

notes: hi friends. sorry i have the vocab of a child. slightly suggestively end. mentions of two younger sisters with names, but feel free to ignore/replace the names! song accompaniment recommendation: folklore album by taylor swift!

summary: because you drew stars around my scars. AU in which the phase that made you fall in love with your soulmate is tattooed on your wrist. it starts as exceptionally light and grows darker as you fall in love until it is completely black. – kuroo/oc

wc: 6.5k

You were vaguely aware of the concept of soulmates at six years old. The words appeared on your wrist just as you were done with your latest drawing – a picture of your parents, you, and your younger sisters. It freaked you out to no end, and you cried a little when you realized you couldn't scrub the marks away. When your mom found you, you could barely blubber out why you were crying so you ended up just showing her your wrist. She stared at you with wide eyes before she let out a soft laugh, which made you temporarily stop crying to stare at her with tears still threatening to spill from your eyes. Seeing your distress, she kissed your wrist and hugged you.

"It's okay, baby. It's nothing to worry about," she whispered softly. "Those are the words that your soulmate will say to you when you fall in love with them," she paused. "It's still faint now, but one day, when you really fall in love with them, it will turn black, just like mama's."

As she said that, she showed you her wrist, onyx black words inked onto her wrist. You stared at her wrist first and traced over the words on there before you stared at her with confusion in your childish eyes. You didn't get it, but you sucked up the snot that was about to drip and wiped the unshed tears leftover in your eyes before you nodded at her since she told you it was okay. She laughed lightly again before patting your head lovingly. She continued to explain that it was something like a permanent best friend, someone who knew you and loved you.

"So, like you and daddy and Maika and Haruna?" You listed off the members of your family on your small hands and tilted your head, not understanding it.

"Something like that," your mom nodded, "But it's a little different. It's a bond that only you and your soulmate will have. You will always feel at home with them."

Your mom could tell you still didn't understand it, so she just added that it might be too complicated to understand now, but that was okay since you were still young. One day though, you will meet someone just for you. You nodded again because although you didn't know what she meant, you were excited to have another best friend in your life one day.

That night, as you laid in bed, you traced the words tattooed on your wrist as you dreamed of laughter in sunlit rooms with your parents, playful teasing between your sisters and you, and dirty socks and skinned knees on playgrounds with your friends.

~✩~✩~✩~

You were eighteen when you first met Kuroo Tetsurou. Your little sister invited you to her school's volleyball game, which you thought was rather strange since she usually didn't go out to these events, but you accepted nonetheless because you thought she looked rather nervous. She was usually bold and confident and rather independent, so you were always happy that she could lean on you if she ever needed support.

Even though your university was a few stations over, you arrived a little earlier than planned. You have never been to Nekoma before since you chose to attend a high school that was further away from your house. Since it was a good half hour earlier than planned, your little sister wasn't here yet, and you were honestly a little lost. Although you just graduated a few months ago, you felt a little out of place, wearing what you wore to class – casual clothes and thick bracelets to cover your tattoo – looking for a gym. You took a glance at your phone to see if she texted you where she was, but she hadn't sent anything else since her last update.

You huffed silently as you circled back into the same spot you were in earlier. You cursed the gods for giving you a bad sense of direction – you couldn't help it, okay? – because this always happened. Luckily, as if someone heard your silent prayers, a high schooler in a red Nekoma uniform called out to you. His bright red jersey with the number 1 on it should have been easily the first thing that drew your eye, but his messy, untamed black hair and his half-grin half-smirk smile caught your eye and somehow eased all your tensions and worries.

He asked you if you were lost, and you told him hopelessly. At that, you heard his unique sounding laugh – it almost sounds like a hyena you thought to yourself- and you couldn’t help but laugh too. When you told him you were here for the volleyball game, his eyes lit up, and you found that you rather liked his animated gray eyes despite how scheming he looked at first.

"Thank you for finding me," you mumbled and bowed gracefully as he led you to the gym.

He paused as you said those words, stopping in place. When you looked back at him, you saw that he was twisting his black wristband with shock and the slightest dust of pink on his face.

"Sorry about that. I'm happy to help," he finally flashed his unique smile again. "Hope you're here to cheer for us?"

He made you laugh effortlessly. "Of course."

Only when he disappeared in the gym lockers did you realize you didn't catch his name.

~✩~✩~✩~

Your sister arrived shortly after; her dyed hair caught your eye rather quickly. She hastily made her way next to you, mumbling quick excuse me’s and sorry’s along the way, and as she reached you, you realized that she looked absolutely starstruck by the players arriving on the court.

"Hey." You tapped her shoulder, which caused her to jump a little. You laughed as she mumbled a quick hi, filled you in on the basics of volleyball, and went back to focusing on the game, eyes trailing after a certain player. You giggled a little at the sight and thought that she was incredibly cute. Following her example, you also began focusing on the game below, taking note that the game was starting.

You were always more of an indoor person, so you never went to a volleyball game. You remembered mandatory games for physical education classes, but even then, you only did what you had to do to pass the class. Despite not knowing much about volleyball, seeing these boys try so hard to keep the ball in the air, to keep the game going, to have the tenacity and drive to win, leaving you in awe. After Nekoma scored another point, the other team called a time out. During this time, you noticed that the same boy in jersey number 1 said something to his team and it immediately lifted the tired team's spirits. You briefly wondered if he was the captain. When you heard his hyena laugh, it left an impression on you as you began to laugh – it was so contagious.

"Nee-chan," your sister began as she looked at you, "Why are you laughing like a weirdo?"

"Shh," you shushed her with your finger, "Don't worry about it. Go back to watching the game."

She didn't need to be told twice as the time out ended and the game started back in action. After the time out, the other team was steadier, but it was still too late for them to catch up to Nekoma. The player with the 1 jersey blocked a ball, and as the ball bounced back to the other side of the court, the judge shouted out the match point. At that, the gym went wild with cheers – the audience rose and clapped as the team looked to each other and bowed to the audience before lining up for handshakes. Your eyes mindless trail over all the players, and to your surprise, you ended up staring into familiar gray eyes. For a moment, it felt like the world stilled and you couldn’t breathe. Only when your sister called for you, you awoke from your trance and flashed him a smile. You saw his smile and a small wave from the corner of your eye before you directed your attention to your little sister. You still didn't really get volleyball, but you can understand why your little sister looked so starstruck after seeing these players' resilience and skill and the joy on their faces.

You were about to leave when your little sister grabbed onto the sleeve of your top with one hand. She held her phone on one hand, screen still on a conversation with someone, and blurted, "Nee-chan, wait! I'll introduce you! Stay with me!" She looked at you with almost pleading eyes.

You were a little cautious because you didn't want to be in the middle of yet another set up by your little sister. You raised an eyebrow at her before she pouted, looking a lot more nervous than the usual playful teasing she had in her eye when she tried to set you up. "Please?"

"Okay, lover girl," you laughed, "Only because you asked so nicely."

She introduced you to the team shortly afterward. To be honest, you didn’t really even know your sister was interested in volleyball or were on such friendly terms with the volleyball team. However, when you saw their interactions, it warmed your heart to know that your sister was surrounded by people who loved her. She reckoned that they should call you two by your first names because it would just get too confusing if they addressed both of you by your last name here. That gave various reactions amongst the team members: some stuttered and stumbled saying your names, some had no trouble at all. When you caught your sister’s face heating up after the one whom she introduced as Kozume Kenma mumbled her name hesitantly, you began to understand why she wanted you here. As the players began leaving one by one, it ended up with the four of you: your sister, you, Kozume Kenma, and your savior in red, Kuroo Tetsurou.

Picking up on the fact that your sister liked Kenma, you were trying to figure out ways to let them have a little bit more time to themselves. It seemed like Kuroo had the same idea as you because as you excused yourself from the group, he mentioned that he will walk you to the station as it was late. You swore you saw your little sister's fingers fumbling the edge of her top, and you laughed lightly at how flustered and cute she was being. You gave a small wave with a smile on your face before made your way out with Kuroo by your side.

You guys didn't get to talk much since it was a group conversation contributed by everyone. However, based on your observations and few interactions, it was unsurprising that conversation with Kuroo was easy. He was charming and observant, easily filling in conversation when you didn't, and even the quiet in between conversations felt comfortable, like you've known each other for years.

Within your short conversations, you found out that he was a year younger and unexpectedly wanted to study chemistry in university. He was indeed the captain of his team and he loved his teammates as much as he loved the sport. You learned that despite his cat-like eyes, he loved dogs, and his hair was like that because it was his natural bedhead. You learned that all the walls you thought you built up felt absolutely paper-thin as your heart began to flutter in a way it hadn't for years, and your wrist pulsed so intensely in ways that it had never before. You quickly pushed that thought down as you reach the train station. When you thanked him and bid him goodbye, he casually waved and let out a half-grin half-smirk smile, and you thought that was unquestionably adorable. He waited until you were out of sight before he left to make sure you got on the train safely, and as you sat down on the train, you began tracing the words on your wrist.

For the first time in a long time, you noticed that the words were darker, and suddenly, your heart stopped, and you bit your lips as your heart started to ache.

~✩~✩~✩~

Black hair and gray eyes never really left your mind, but you tried not to think of Kuroo Tetsurou too much after that night because you didn't think you would meet him again. It was all in vain though because you found that you thought of him a lot whenever you saw red, and somehow, that happened to be your new favorite color. As you wrapped your red scarf around your neck during the end of winter, you bumped into someone in the chemistry building on campus when you were rushing to your next class.

"Whoah, easy there," he grabbed onto your arm before you fell, "Are you alright?"

It took you a few seconds to stabilize yourself before you nodded. "Thank you."

Just as you looked up, your eyes met his gray ones, and your surprise mirrored his as your mouth dropped a little. You didn't know if your face felt hot because of the chilling wind or the man in front of you.

"Kuroo-san," you said airily, "What are you doing here?"

"Hey," he nodded and smiled. "I'm checking out this campus. I got accepted into the chemistry program here. I didn't think I would run into you."

"Congratulations!" You exclaimed, "I didn't think I'd run into you either. I'm sorry, by the way, for literally running into you."

He laughed before brushing it off, and you laughed alongside him because his laughter was so contagious, and it was just so simple being with him. It was like you two fell into a comfortable pattern even though you've only had one conversation months ago.

"I'm sorry to cut this short, but I have class in a few minutes," you began as the laughter died down. "How long will you be on campus? I'll treat you to lunch! As a congratulation."

"There's no need for that," he declined gently, "But I will be here for another hour or so, I think. I have a meeting and a tour with the chemistry professor scheduled soon. Let's meet for lunch?"

"Sure," you agreed happily.

"Here, put your number in, and I'll text you?" he handed you his phone.

"Kuroo-san," you began as you typed in your number. "You're so smooth." You laughed as you handed his phone back to him and left for class.

You didn't see the smile on his face nor the longing look in his eyes as they followed your retreating figure.

~✩~✩~✩~

With that, Kuroo and you began texting quite often. Often, you found yourself with your phone nearby at any moment, awaiting responses from him. He was an absolute dork and loved lame chemistry puns and silly memes, and he made you laugh like no others. He was sassy in a way, and sometimes he was just so easy to sass back. When you were talking with him, it felt like your heart was a little lighter from the endless cycle of failed experiments, lab reports, and vicious exams.

Once he started classes, you two began studying together quite often. Since you two had the same major and he was taking classes you already took, you gave him pointers on the key points and what the professors like the test on. While he hadn't taken your classes yet, sometimes he could reinterpret the concepts and notes you struggled with although he didn't quite understand the topic itself. It was so helpful that studying together quite often became more often than not, and late-night coffee runs and post-exam meals became a tradition. At one point during midterms week, you were quite sure you were at his apartment more than you were at yours, and Kuroo became Tetsurou before he became just Tetsu.

With all this time you spent with each other, you learned more and more about Kuroo. He was undoubtedly charismatic, and he loved to tease you and your poor sense of direction and inability to function before 10 am despite you signing up for 8 am classes. He was perceptive and keen on your emotions: he knew to suggest for a walk around campus to clear your mind when you were too stressed, he knew to send you lame chemistry memes and bring you food when you felt down about doing poorly on an exam, he knew to just hold you and let you cry when you felt hopeless about your future. Likewise, you cooked him meals for when his exam schedule was chaotic and he forgot to eat, you waited for him after exams to celebrate regardless of how he did, you lent him your lap when he was too tired to make it to bed. You were sure that you had one – or two, or three, who was keeping count anyway – of his hoodies from nights when you forgot to bring a jacket or were too cold after partying together.

Sometimes you do realize the two of you might be blurring boundaries a little during late nights when you talk to each other about your childhoods and fears, your dreams and aspirations, your favorite people and close friends. The lines were blurred when your hands brush and you would catch his eyes staring at your lips, and sometimes he'd hold your hand when your hands were cold, and you would wear his hoodies because they were comfortable and smelled like him. The lines blurred when he unknowingly leaving parts of him – pens, chemistry books, a volleyball, clothes – at your apartment, and you had a set of accumulated mismatched utensils and a toothbrush at his and even his roommate became a sort of friend of yours. Everything with Kuroo was just so straightforward and fun because he just understood you, and it terrified you to no end because of how simple it was, and you could just be you.

You tried to not think of this too much because you were scared that it was all in your head. You knew you were falling in love with Kuroo, and a part of you knew he felt the same. But you were hurt by love before, and you didn't want to be burned twice. You knew he wasn't your ex, but you didn't know yourself. It was like your head knew Kuroo was bad, bad news, but your heart just kept going forward, craving to be his presence, to be with him. With each night, you realized that your tattoo grew darker and darker.

You asked Kuroo if he believed in soulmates one day while you two were watching a movie at your apartment during a chill night in between exams. It was some sappy rom-com your roommate suggested before she left for the night, and you two decided it would be a good laugh since it looked so cheesy.

He looked straight into your eyes, his gray ones blazing and passionate, like he was looking through your pretenses and directly into your soul, before he whispered, "I do."

You felt so bare and vulnerable under his fierce eyes, and you couldn't face his intensity, so you pulled your knees up into your chest before you buried your face in them. You hesitated before you shared your next thought, "I fell in love once, you know."

Your heart felt so heavy as you said that. It happened so long ago, and you would think five years was a long time to get over someone. While you do think you were over your ex, the wounds he left scarred and carved an everlasting dent on you. Kuroo tensed a little from your statement but didn't say anything otherwise, but you caught his eyes never leaving your form from the corner of your eyes as he reached out to pat your head gently. He was waiting for you to continue.

"I was fourteen, and we had a total meet cute moment where I bumped into him around the corner and he caught me on my first day of school."

At that, he let out a small laugh, "Yeah, you do tend to bump into people."

"Shut up! I'm trying to tell my tragic backstory here!" You untucked your head from your knees to look at him and pouted, but you felt a little less smothered by your memories now.

"He was everything I could have ever asked for. He was cute and smart, and he had big dreams, and I wanted to be right there, next to him, when he made his dreams come true. Maybe I was just young and insecure, but I changed my whole lifestyle to cater to his. He was older than me and he was popular, so I did everything I could to impress him. I changed my hairstyle, learned how to wear makeup, got my cartilage pierced – twice! – to stand out. I would drop everything if he asked me to hang out. It felt like I was on top of the world."

You fell silent because you wanted to cry but nothing came out. You were a lot older now, and the pain dulled with time. However, the heartache never completely went away, and you wanted to fall apart. Seeing your distress, Kuroo pulled you from your ball form and into his lap, one hand on the small of your back to hold you, the other stroking your hair gently.

"You don't have to tell me, you know?" he whispered in your hair. "It's okay."

You only shook your head against his chest. "I became so captivated with him that I only knew me when I was with him, and I didn't know who I was before or without him. I built myself around him. I changed into his ideals, I fitted myself into his life without him trying to fit in mine, I became who he thought I was. But the tattoo never changed colors, and I waited and waited and waited for him to say those words, but he never did. When those illusions shattered, it was all over."

Kuroo only continued to stroke your hair gently, and you found the sound of his heartbeat rather reassuring. It kept you grounded as you trekked through your memories.

"I think I lost a part of me trying to love him," you finally managed to breathe out after collecting your thoughts.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to show the best parts of yourself to the person you love," Kuroo said as he shifted to rest his chin on top of your head and held you with both of arms.

"I don't know who I am," you whispered, sounding as broken and helpless as you felt. You were always open with Kuroo because he was someone you had absolute trust in. Being with him came so serene and warm, but you never felt as defenseless and raw when you told him your feelings. While you shared with Kuroo your childhood fears, it was never as deep as your number one insecurity. You hadn't opened up about how lost you felt without your ex in a long time, and honestly, you felt like you had no personality other than what you want the recipient to perceive. Your heart was aching, but something was soothing about Kuroo's embrace that kept you here, at this moment, instead of inside your head.

"But I know you," he declared confidently like it was the most natural thing in the world. "I know you hate mornings and can't get through the day without espresso even though you would much prefer tea. I know you grind your teeth when you're about to fall asleep even though you have no recollection of this every morning. I know you are super picky about your ramen portions because you get upset when your meat-to-noodle ratio gets off. I know you love the stars even though you hate going outside because you hate bugs, and you'd much rather be lounging around in my hoodies because they’re comfortable. I know you sometimes stutter and skip your words when you get excited about chemistry, but your eyes shine so bright and your dimples show when you laugh. These are just some things about you. I can tell you more if you're interested," he teased as he moved to look into your eyes.

Your eyes widened. The words you never thought you would hear ignited a fire in your heart and set ablaze on your wrist like you never felt before as you listened to him talk about you with so much love in his voice. Your heart, dejected and fearful, began to beat apace, pulsing quickly as your wrist continued to burn. You felt like your whole being was on fire, and you looked up from his chest to his eyes, searching and searching. You only found that there was nothing but the truth in his eyes, and your body felt electrified – time had stopped, and you could hear, feel your heartbeat pounding rapidly. Then, you tore your eyes away from his, slowly took off your bracelet, only to find the words tattooed on your wrist completely blacked.

His eyes followed your movement, and when he saw your wrist, he let out a shaky, "Oh!" Once he seemed to collect himself more, he reached for your wrist and kissed it.

"Looks like it's a match," he breathed out faintly as he took off his wristband, 'thank you for finding me' tattooed on his wrist, bold and black.

You stared at his tattoo, at him, and then averted your eyes as a feeble attempt to run away from the conversation. The tears you didn't know you were holding fell freely because you were so scared, so confused, so happy. You were a complete mess of emotions because he was everything you never thought you wanted. He was your rock, your best friend, your support in the past year, and you were not supposed to fall in love.

He recognized your change in emotions and gently slid his hands into yours. "Please don't run from me."

You stared around your apartment, hyper-focused on the long-forgotten movie in the background, scared to look at him because you felt so exposed. You didn't want him to know how you felt about him because when you were on a high, you can only fall from here. Being with him was your high, and while you were sure you could live without him, it was going to be a new low. Love was scary because it can break so easily. You were so scared.

"Look at me."

You looked up at him. He was always goofy and dorky, constantly teasing, and he always made you feel better about your worries because he always listened and fought your demons with you. But here he was, looking so seriously into your eyes, baring his soul and looking as vulnerable as you felt.

"I'm sorry," you began, not really knowing why you were apologizing in the first place. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" he questioned, hands never leaving yours and eyes never straying away.

"I just – " you paused, "I don't know."

"Do you love me?" he asked quietly. His voice soft, genuine, and almost inaudible, as if he was also scared to hear the answer. You felt afraid again.

"I'm sorry," you apologized again between sobs.

"Please answer the question," he pressed on softly before he took one hand off yours to wipe your tears.

"I do," you admitted after seconds of silence, "I do, Tetsu. I love you so much that it scares me because love breaks so easily."

You hiccuped and paused, trying to think of the words.

"It's okay to not think about it too hard, you dummy. Just tell me what you're thinking," he prompted, words kind and gentle, as he gently brushed his thumb over the space between your thumb and pointer finger.

"Okay," you promised, "I can try."

You breathed in and looked away from him, "I'm sorry because I love you. I know I can be overbearing. Love is scary because look, I'm like baring all my soul out to you right now. What if I lost you? What if you don't want to be around me anymore? What if you only think you knew me but the real me is just a disappointment? I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared. I just – "

"I love you," he stopped you in the middle of your ramble.

You gaped at him because you can't believe your ears. You were unsure if you imagined that in your head as part of your ramble, and what if he was just saying that. Your brain was going into overdrive because you cannot think of why he would love you. Your eyes trailed away from his again because his stare was so intense and vivid, and you started to ramble again.

"Wait did you understand what I said? What if you started to lose interest in me? I'm just me and – "

"I love you," he repeated, more firm this time, gently tugging your hand to get you to look at him.

"But I – "

"I love you," he said for the third time, unyielding in his voice. You were so startled that when he nudged you to look at him again, you did. His eyes showed no hesitation, and you were an absolute mess.

"But what if I'm not enough?" you managed to choke out. "What if I'm not the one you're looking for? Wait, am I even making sense?"

"You are," he countered your worries, "Because I know you."

Your eyes widened as he said the words tattooed on your wrist again, and your world stopped. It felt like all the years of soul searching and heartache were disappearing. It felt like you found the part of you that you lost before. It felt like you can breathe again. You gasped as the tattoo on your wrist pulse rapidly once again alongside your thumping heart.

You couldn't believe this was happening to you. You spent so long being lost and now it felt like someone was calling you back home. You felt like you remembered what it was like to feel starstruck and soft, to feel okay to see the stars in his eyes. Your eyes trailed from your tattoo to his and finally to his eyes, and when you saw his dorky half-grin half-smirk smile, you smiled despite looking like a teary mess.

"Thank you for finding me," you whispered weakly and shyly, almost scared that this dream would shatter if you broke it.

"That's the second time you said it," he laughed loudly, his tattoo out opened for you to see.

You nodded slowly and a smile broke out before your laughter joined his. As you calm down from your laugh, you felt him staring at you.

"Can I kiss you?" he blurted, cheeks dusted with a slight pink, looking absolutely in love.

At that moment, you didn’t know why or how you doubted yourself – your worth, who you were, as a woman – when he looked at you like this, like you were the only one he saw in this world. "Okay," you whispered lightly before you leaned in.

He closed the distance between, and your mundane days of black and white burst into color and turned the grayed-out skies into a world of stars. It was like your soul finally found another who gave you comfort and peace while simultaneously setting your heart on fire and giving you starry night skies. He was your end and your beginning, and it felt like you were finally home.

~✩~✩~✩~

“How long have you been in love with me?” you questioned one day, laying on the ground with your hands folded on top of your stomach, eyes averted from your laptop. Your microbiology lab report final was due in a few days, and you were tired of looking at the data you’ve collected and the research books after the 25 pages you’ve already typed. So here you were, questioning your existence on this earth because school really sucked.

The sound of Kuroo's pen stopped, and your eyes trailed from looking at the wall of fairy lights and Polaroid pictures to him. He pursed his lips a little, balancing his pen on top, and leaned back into the couch. You stared at him as he sat in silence, lost in his thoughts, and your heart fluttered because he was just so stupidly handsome. If he wasn’t so absorbed in his thoughts, you had no doubt he would tease you for staring.

“I don’t know,” he answered finally, “My tattoo darkened when you came to our volleyball game in my third year of high school, and before I knew it, it just became pitch black.”

“Huh,” you thought out loud, “That far back?”

He grinned, “Yeah. I thought you looked like a mess when you kept walking around in circles. If you weren’t so cute, I would have reported you to the police.”

You gasped loudly and dramatically, “You watched me suffer for that long?! You suck!”

“Hey, I came to help in the end, didn’t I?” he countered without any bite in his voice, pouting a little.

“Yeah,” you smiled at the memory, “My hero in red. Thank you for finding me.”

At that, he got up from the couch and pulled you into his lap before nuzzling in your hair, “I’ll always find you, princess. Always.”

~✩~✩~✩~

You were already half asleep in bed when you felt the sheets rustle. You both had class early tomorrow morning, but you figured you can try to stay up as Kuroo finished his shower after coming home late from intramural volleyball practice.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" he whispered, not wanting to wake you from your sleep.

"No," you mumbled half-lies, "Was waiting for you." You lifted the large blanket with one hand, signaling for him to get in.

He settled into the empty spot, and you threw the blanket over him as an attempt to tuck him in. "Don't lie to me, you dummy," he laughed, "I know you."

That phrase set your heart on fire every time because it felt so powerful, and it made you feel so whole.

You smiled lazily and looked for his hand under the sheets. He grabbed your searching hand and laced your fingers together. Your sleepy smile brightened, turning into a cheesing grin, and you tugged him closer to give him a quick kiss. "Welcome home."

"I'm home."

And those words never felt so right.

~✩~✩~✩~

You rubbed your groggy eyes as the sunlight shone through the blinds. You automatically reached beside you, patting the empty space where Kuroo normally laid. You puffed your cheeks in a pout before you saw it was almost noon on your phone.

On cue, the sound of sizzles and the scent of breakfast drifted through the door. Begrudgingly, you got up, wore Kuroo's discarded shirt by the bed, and headed into the kitchen to find him with only his stupidly sexy gray sweatpants and your cat apron on, grilling some salted mackerel pike.

You heard him softly hum the opening of the science anime you two were watching, and as you do every other day, felt so lucky that he was here, and he was yours. He was so beautiful, and in normal everyday moments like this, you felt so at peace, at home with him. Before you knew it, you walked up and wrapped your arms around him.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” he greeted lovingly. “I started on brunch.”

“Good morning,” you mumbled in response before planting soft kisses on his bare back. “It smells great. But we’re going to turn into mackerel pike with all the mackerel pikes we’ve been eating lately.”

He laughed before he teased, "If you don't stop kissing me, mackerel pike won't be the only thing I'm eating.”

Even though you've been together for years now, he still made your heart flutter like he did the very first day. You smiled before grinning deviously and tiptoed to plant another kiss on his neck. “Maybe that's the point.” You paused before you pulled him down a little and spoke quietly in his ear as if to let him in on a secret, "I'm not wearing underwear."

You ran toward your shared bedroom laughing as you heard the clinking of the thrown spatula and discarded apron, the clicking of the now-off stovetop, and his footsteps as he ran after you. His long strides caught up to you in no time, and he easily scooped you up and carried you bridal style the rest of the way to the bedroom.

"That was naughty, princess," he whispered seductively in your ear. You felt his hot breath on your skin, and you were glad he was carrying you because he always could make you weak.

"Sorry baby," you wrapped your arms around his neck, eyes big and pleading, pretending to look innocent because you know it turned him on without fail to ruin that feign innocence.

"You don't even have to ask twice," he said as he slipped his hand under the oversized shirt you were wearing.

You kissed him fiercely while you repositioned yourself to wrap your legs around his waist, your hands in his hair. With your shirt now discarded somewhere in the bedroom and your back against the walls, preparation for brunch was long forgotten.

As he continued to tease you relentlessly between heated kisses, your stomach rumbled.

He stared at you, you stared at him, and you both blinked before bursting into laughter.

"Babe, was that your stomach?" he asked through his laughter.

"Yeah, pancakes and hash browns sound really good right now, to be honest," you answered truthfully, a little embarrassed but not ashamed. You were never ashamed of who you were around him.

"That does sound good," he agreed, "Well, I guess it's time to make some pancakes and hash browns then." He pulled his hands away and set you down with a teasing glint in his eyes.

You whined in frustration as his warmth left you, and not willing to stop, you pulled back him to you and nibbled on his ear before purring, "Daddy, you can fill me up first."

After, you found yourselves making pancakes and hash browns - with grilled salted mackerel pike that Kuroo was cooking before your interruption – for brunch. As you watched him eat, you caught a glimpse of his onyx black tattoo. Your eyes flickered to your wrist, tattoo matching in color with his, and you smiled fondly. He seemed to notice your smile, and although you were fairly sure he had no idea what you were smiling at, he smiled too.

Honestly, if this wasn't happiness, you don't know what is.

~✩~✩~✩~

you taught me a secret language I can’t speak with anyone else.

~✩~✩~✩~

tags: @hoekaashi

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dcviated · 3 years ago

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@madamhatter sent: Which of the muses would be the best at DDR? Which of them would be the worst?

Mizuki and Tenzou take the award for best at DDR. They’re both the most weeb, aware of the game and being gamers in general. Tenzou also has the ninja speed on his side so he’s even more apt to hit the high scores and long note streaks. But Mizuki wins out just from her tenacity and ... playing more games. Rhythm aren’t usually her favorite but she likes to play them with Iris.

Honorable mention goes to Shayne! He’s... good at playing the game off watching the screen. And does not play it according to music, however. In fact he thinks it’s too loud? Bothersome. Distracting. Just let him hit the arrows.

As far as the worst, that goes for two of my brutes. Dogi and Durzog. What makes it even more amusing is since both of them are so strong, they’re prone to accidentally destroying the machines in their frustration and stomping around blindly. Bad idea to let them have at it in an arcade to begin with... between them, Durzog would be worse, but he’s also least inclined to play games like that.

#madamhatter #inbox :: answered hc #''what about armstrong?''#dudes a boxer with fancy footwork he's fine at ddr #a beautiful game #most other muses would be 'whatever' or 'fine' with it #I didnt do a whole power ranking lol

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keichan · 5 years ago

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Running Through the Night Tsukishima x fem!reader Part 2: Game Day

You and Tsukishima have been friends for as long as you two could remember. With a very unexpected confession, how will this affect you two?

Authors note: feelin a lil inspired!

Word count: 1202

Genre: college au, unrequited love, angst, best friends to lovers, fluff somewhere in there, mutual pining

Warnings: manga time skip!!! swearing!

masterlist・previous・next

“Morning, Y/N, Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima replies with a blank expression on his face. You sat down in front of him grinning from ear to ear. It made his heart sink farther. Was what Yamaguchi showed you really that funny? Is there something going on between you two? After all, you two have been rather close this last month or so. The frustration of his insecurities flooded his mind.

“Kei! How do you feel about the game tonight? Do you feel like you’re gonna kick some ass?” You reached across the table onto his wrist, snapping out of his thoughts abruptly.

“Tch, of course. We’re going to take it in straight sets, easily,” he rolled his eyes, praying that his face wasn’t red.

You gave his wrist a slight squeeze before letting go. “Now that’s what I like to hear. I’m tired of you passing out on our movie nights! I miss your company!”

The three of you laughed over breakfast. Catching each other up on how the weeks have been with classes and part time jobs.

“Have you guys talked to Hinata-kun lately? It seems that no one has heard from him in a while. He must really be getting caught up with training, huh?” you said as you took a sip of your coffee.

“Oh! I heard from Hinata a few days ago. They just started having more matches back to back so it’s been more difficult for him to line up the time zones for him to message us. He’s been so busy, but it isn’t like he’s ran out of energy yet,” Yamaguchi replied.

“I still can’t believe that shrimpy actually went to the other side of the world like that. I knew he had guts, but it was unexpected, even from him,” Tsukishima added.

“Wow, Kei! I’m surprised you didn’t say something backhanded about Hinata-kun! It warms my heart to see that its all a facade and that you actually like him!” you chuckled placing your cup back on the table.

“Shut up, Y/N” he scoffed before poking at his strawberry french toast.

You just laughed at him before continuing to the next topic of conversation.

“I’ll catch you guys later! Yamaguchi-kun, am I still coming over to help you finish your project tonight?” you turn to the freckled boy as you rose out of your chair! “Yes! I’ll let you know when you can head over! I’ll see you later Y/N!” he said with a slight wave.

“Bye, Kei! Have a good game tonight!” With a simple smile you placed your bag on you shoulder and exited the building.

Yamaguchi glanced at the blonde headed man to see a sour look on his face. Well…. More sour than average. “So, Tsukki… What’s up with you this morning?”

He couldn’t say what he was thinking. Tsukishima was never one to control you. If you want to go to one of your best friend’s homes to study then so be it. There was probably nothing going on regardless. It’s just pesky thoughts digging into him. Too deeply…

A smirk grew on the middle blocker’s face.

“I’m just thinking about how I’m going to block all of those spikes tonight. All of these extra practices will have been well worth it.”

Yamaguchi sunk a little bit in his chair. Tsukki is never going to say it, is he?

Truth be told that confidence in the situation faded as soon as he arrived at the gymnasium.

However that night Tsukishima was analytical as always and not falling a beat behind in the match. But his blocks radiated tenacity. Pissing off the opposing team more than he normally would. He used the game to escape his feelings and to use it as a release. That consistency from the flow of the game eased him in a sense.

Being in love with you was, in the kindest way, very exhausting to him.

“The Sendai Frogs take the first set of the game!”

Not like how volleyball can physically exert you mentally and physically. Everything in volleyball had a sense of strategy. By the end of the game you can figure out the opponents goal to score and get the last laugh by shutting them out with a block. Tricking them with a deflection. Et cetera.

Like the other morning, he took off his glasses and went back to sleep to savor the moment with you. You woke him up after some time. Staring down at him kindly.

“Kei, wake up, sleepy-head,” you stroked his hair as you whispered quietly. “I have to go get ready to go class. I need to leave in an hour, you can go sleep in my room if you’d like.” He placed his glasses on the bridge of his nose to meet your eyes. He was in the perfect scenario in some romance television show, but the look in your eyes wasn’t full of love and admiration. It was just you waking up to leave with no real desire to have him in your lap. To you it is just a thing are able to do with a friend. It’s comfortable and it doesn’t bring you a second thought. But moments like that over the years are his everything.

Grabbing his hand to lead him through a crowd. Confiding in him with things that he knows that you would not tell anyone else. Seeing your face in the crowd at his games over the years. Hearing you cheer his name. Hugging him after all of his wins and losses. Falling asleep on his shoulder on the bus.

Those little pieces can bring him only so far, and then he runs out of steam. Again. And again. And again.

That morning he slowly moved off of you and yawned holding his arms over his head. With a slight laugh he said, “Thanks for being the best pillow!” You simply just smiled and replied, “That’s what best friends are for.”

When you walked to your bedroom to get changed, he left without a word.

“Wow! Middle blocker, Tsukishima Kei stuffs their ace! Taking the second set of the night! Amazing!”

The jealousy aspect of thinking of you with Yamaguchi has not been until recently. You two have been spending much more time together than you ever had over the time that you two had become friends. Hell, you’ve even blown off Tsukishima for Yamaguchi a few times in the last few weeks. Something is just off about it. Is it just after all of these years, between the two men, it’s Yamaguchi Tadashi that you’ve fallen for? Not Tsukishima Kei?

“And that’s a wrap! The Sendai Frogs take the game in straight sets! How amazing is that?”

In the locker room his teammates were laughing and boasting about the win.

“I’m so glad that coach made us put in all that extra time. Taking that game straight like that was amazing!”

“Yeah, you’re right! Do you guys want to go out and celebrate tonight? It’s Saturday after all!”

The rest of the team mumbled in some sort of agreement. The bar scene isn’t Tsukishima’s preferred environment, but fuck it, they won a big game, right?

taglist: @pperapear @kapuching

#haikyuu #haikyuu tsukishima #haikyuu college au #haikyuu!!#angst #mutual pining #best friends to lovers #unrequited love #fluff #haikyuu angst #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima #tsukishima kei #haikyuu yamaguchi

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mostlycompetentwriter · 5 years ago

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Scene Stealers

F/M Pairing: Y/N x Seo Changbin

Warnings: mild language, they both go through a lot of angst, but I can’t resist making it better with fluff at the end.

Genre: Violinist AU; College AU; Friends to Enemies to Lovers (AKA the Golden Triangle)

Word Count: 4.5K

Summary: Y/N and Seo Changbin share a tentative friendship, but when it comes to claiming first chair violinist for their school’s upcoming orchestra, their reasons for wanting the spot might just tear them apart.

A/N: Shoot, I was kinda mean to Changbin, but it was important for the sake of character development.

I had been playing the violin ever since I could first hold the instrument in my hands, smooth and luxurious paint glistening under the lights of my bedroom. It was the first time that I had ever fallen in love with something, and I passionately gave my heart and soul to the music I created. As a result, my entire life became consumed by my incessant desire to improve and rise high above the ranks of my classmates.

However, it wasn’t until I started university that I realized what competition truly looked like because everyone in my liberal art’s school was insanely talented. These were the same people who had also split their blood, sweat and tears into the pursuit of perfection. They shared the same aspirations, and their thirst for the very top was just as all-consuming as mine.

Ironically, our professor told us that we were acquaintances, first and foremost, and needless taunting and fighting would not be tolerated without serious consequences. But my classmates and I found ways around their rules, and the relatively harmless pranks usually sent strong messages to those who we perceived as threatening. Of course, there were also the occasional cliques that formed, and they usually consisted of like-minded individuals who knew that they could use one another to help their self-motivated aspirations.

But I never thought that I would join any of them until I met Changbin.

Because he seemed just like another face in the crowd, despite being alluringly handsome. Yet, when he managed a score a perfect A+ on our mid-semester examination, everyone immediately knew that he was not to be underestimated. Interestingly, Changbin often kept to himself in spite of my classmates’ approaches. They wanted him to join their circles because it was better to cement your status by joining with the best that our school had to offer. Plus, it allowed you to keep a close eye on the competition, and I had seen my fair share of friendships destroyed because of a petty disagreement.

But Changbin never seemed interested in making friends, and I admired his tenacity, which might explain why I allowed him to sit next to me at lunch since our other classmates were otherwise occupied with their own friend groups. And I certainly never considered that he had any ulterior motives, until he randomly started a conversation with me. At first, I was taken aback by the surprisingly timid greeting that he extended in my direction, but I decided that Changbin was harmless.

You see, I never intended to extend our relationship beyond casual lunchtime conversations, but he started sitting next to me in class as well. I wanted to protest the sudden change until Changbin changed my mind because he was helpful with our menial class assignments, and he even offered to help me with my general education courses. It registered as a kind-hearted gesture that seemed out of place considering our highly competitive field.

But I accepted his help because I genuinely appreciated anyone who could tutor me through basic calculus, and he was patient with me, walking us both through worksheet exercises with a calm and steady approach. After that, I didn’t mind acknowledging Changbin as a friend since he was always considerate and helpful, and his personality naturally complimented mine. Where I was quick-tempered and active, Changbin was laidback and gentle. I balanced him when he was struggling to find enough motivation to finish his assignments (even though he was a certified genius), and he managed to convince me to take breaks from making hundreds of highlights in my textbooks.

Yet, at the back of my mind was a constant reminder: Changbin was still one of my competitors, and I valued my future far more his friendship.

Present

I could tell that something interesting was about to happen when our Professor walked into class for our morning lecture. He smiled at the rows of students beaming back at him in expectation for whatever it was that he might be planning. “Students,” he said, pacing across the front of the room. “We have our first orchestral concert coming up.”

There was an excited murmuring that swept through the classroom, and I turned my head to the side to meet Changbin’s excited gaze. “Are you ready?” he asked, and I inhaled sharply around the smell of his cologne.

“Of course,” I said in response before looking back at our Professor.

“Most of the positions have been decided,” he continued. “But we still need someone for first chair violinist.”

My heart nearly skipped a beat inside my chest at the advertisement, and I clutched tightly to the edge of my desk. “This Saturday, I’ll be holding auditions at noon. Don’t be late.”

I leaned back in my desk while doing my best to restrain my excitement. Our Professor had already commenced the beginning of his lesson, but I couldn’t focus on anything else other than the coveted first chair auditions. It was everything that I had been working towards my entire life, and I was consumed with ideas for my song performance. Should I go for something classical? Or would that be too expected? Perhaps I should create something original?

The ideas were endless, and I waited until the end of class before I started speaking to Changbin in a rapid tone, hoping that he might give me some insights into my unfortunate conundrum. “I don’t know, Y/N,” Changbin said, scratching at the back of his head like he was nervous about something.

“You’ll come and support me, right?” I asked him. “I’d like to see you there.”

Changbin looked away from me. “Yeah, but I’ll be auditioning too.”

I immediately froze in my steps, glancing at him from the corner of my eye. “Oh?”

“I thought you knew that,” he said, chuckling at the awkward situation that we found ourselves experiencing. “I’m not really interested in first chair, but my father said that he would be pull me out of the music program if I failed.”

I blinked at him, feeling like the entire universe had just been knocked off-kilter. “I guess you’ll have to try, then.”

“We can always practice together,” Changbin said with a note of desperation. “Just like we always do.”

“Sure,” I said, but the lie sounded inauthentic even to my own practiced ears. “Maybe we can try to schedule a time.”

“Tomorrow,” Changbin said, and his stare was intense. “I can meet you after class.”

“I’ll see if I have a free hour,” I said, and Changbin looked surprised that I didn’t agree to his offer.

“Do you already have plans?”

“One of my professors has office hours,” I said in return, even though we both knew that I rarely took advantage of meeting my instructors outside of scheduled classes.

Changbin nodded, but I could tell that he wasn’t easily convinced. “What about lunch? We can find something cheap in the dining hall. My treat.”

I resisted the urge to sigh. “Rain check?”

Changbin scoffed, reaching out for my arm to hold me in place. “Are you really mad about the audition?”

“Of course not,” I said, pulling my arm free from his unexpectedly tight grip. In actuality, I was far more disappointed than I was angry.

“Y/N,” Changbin said. “I’m sorry, but I can’t lose this.”

“I know,” I told him with a nod. “But this has been my dream since I was eight-years-old.”

“I get that,” Changbin said, and I could tell that he was frustrated. “It’s a competition, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t hang out.”

“You’re right,” I agreed with a tight smile. “Maybe I’ll see you around later.”

I thought that it seemed casual enough, but Changbin was nothing short of incredulous, shaking his head at me before I watched him retreat in the opposite direction.

The Next Day

It was late at night when my phone vibrated against my nightstand. I let out a groan as I rolled onto my side to silence the notification, pausing when I realized that it was a text message from Changbin: there’s a party tonight, Y/N. You should come with me.

I frowned at the mention of a party, especially when it was such a random request from Changbin. He had never invited me to this kind of thing before, so why was he asking out of the blue? Especially considering our earlier argument from the previous day.

Maybe he was trying to distract me, I thought to myself, snatching my phone and sending a reply back to him: Not tonight. I have plans.

It wasn’t necessarily true since I had initially planned to stay in my dorm room, but I suddenly thought of something that I could do to occupy my time. And it would also benefit me in regards to the upcoming auditions. But then again, when I really thought about it, I realized that Changbin was a contributing factor in pushing me to the edge of full-blown panic, and I was suddenly anxious to ensure my position for our school’s upcoming performance. Likewise, when I considered the situation, if Changbin was going to a party, then there was a good chance that our other classmates would attend as well.

With that thought in mind, I grabbed my violin case from its position against the wall because I had just received confirmation that I would have the practice room to myself - allowing me the rare opportunity to improve without the others around. And that most certainly included Changbin. It was enough to get my heart racing, and I secured my coat tightly around my waist before rushing outside, inhaling the cold, crisp winter air as I found myself practically jogging to the music building.

As I suspected, it was empty inside, and I turned on the lights and set-up some of the more expensive equipment that I wasn’t privileged enough to use outside of regular instruction. Satisfied, I sat down on one of the stools near the front of the room, tucking the violin against the familiar spot between my neck and shoulder, and I started to play with a huge smile pasted across my lips. Because this was when I felt the most comfortable, and everything was familiar, listening to the notes and chords form the beautiful melodies that had fascinated me as a child.

It was my favorite way to lose track of time, and I didn’t pay much attention to the late hour when I finished my entire set, pausing at the end of my performance to take in a deep breath. Was that okay? I wondered to myself, regretting the fact that I hadn’t bothered to record my practice run. Because it had become the best way to single out the little mistakes - whether it involved my irregular posture, or the slight hiss of a note that might go unnoticed by the untrained ear.

Whatever the case may be, I was too tired to revisit my prepared performance again, so I carefully cleaned up the practice room and stowed away my violin inside its case. Afterward, I took one last lingering look around the practice room before I was walking back outside. Thankfully, the building automatically locked itself behind me, so I knew that a Janitor had come by at some point, and the night was relatively quiet and undisturbed as I started walking back to my dorm alone.

However, any semblance of loneliness was quickly ruined by the unexpected vocalization of my name: “Y/N!”

I turned around, resisting the urge to roll my eyes when I saw one of my classmates running down the sidewalk. “Hey,” I said, keeping my tone inflectionless on purpose.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” she said. “I thought you might come to the party.”

“I had other plans,” I told her dismissively.

“Yeah, Changbin said that he invited you,” she said, and I froze at the mention of Changbin. “He seemed pretty upset about it.”

I narrowed my eyes because I couldn’t quite figure out why she would feel the need to tell me that. “He knew I was busy.”

“I guess,” she said as if finally figuring out that I wasn’t in the mood for a conversation.

I nodded tersely, jerking my head in the direction of my dorm. “I was on my way back.”

“Oh, right!” she said, shaking her head as she took a step away from me. “I’m sorry if I bothered you.”

“It’s fine,” I said dismissively, spinning on my heel as I continued the short trek back to my dorm room, and I tried to ignore how my mind seemed stuck on the revelation of Changbin’s dissatisfaction with my decision to stay away from that stupid party.

The next morning, I could tell that something was off with Changbin when I sat down next to him at our usual section. His gaze was cold when he acknowledged me, but he didn’t say anything as he continued flipping through the sheet music waiting in front of him. It was completely out of character, but I had bigger things to worry about, lending my attention to our Professor when he walked into the lecture room to begin our lesson.

However, at the same time, I was irritated with my train of thought because I found myself wondering about Changbin instead of the History of Mozart. It was a cumbersome predicament because I wasn’t the type of student who became so easily distracted. In fact, I once spent nine hours straight in the library researching for a project that wasn’t due until the end of the semester.

Get it together, Y/N!

“Okay, everyone,” our Professor continued. “We’ll pause here for a moment and you can discuss the Mozart Effect Theory with a partner.”

I immediately looked at Changbin who sighed as he allowed his pen to fall from between his fingers. “What do you think?”

I hesitated because his question could easily be taken out of context, and it could be applied to something far more personal than the Mozart Theory. “It’s interesting.”

“I agree,” Changbin said, and I could see his jaw clench. “I heard that you were in the practice room last night,” Changbin added, and his tone was strangely cold.

How did he even know that? I wondered, but I knew there was no use in lying. It had never even appealed to me. “I wanted to make sure my performance was ready,” I replied.

“You lied to me,” Changbin growled, and I decided that I didn’t like the way that he was talking to me.

“I never lied,” I said. “I told you I had plans.”

“To practice?” Changbin scoffed. “You’re the one who always tells me to that you can’t push yourself too far, but I’m beginning to think it was all some kind of plot to make sure that I stayed behind you.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked. “I would never intentionally jeopardize another student’s success.”

“Really?” Changbin questioned. “So, why was sneaking away to the practice room more important than taking the night off with me?”

His questions were becoming harder to answer, and there was a part of me that didn’t want to deal with unnecessary drama. I had always been told that I had an unfavorable personality, but it usually involved my inability to deal with these kinds of situations - when someone thought that my time was theirs to utilize as they commanded. Then again, maybe it was my fault because I had simply allowed Changbin to get too close, and I could easily rectify that problem.

“We were never friends, Changbin,” I said, refocusing my attention at the front of the room because the words hurt to vocalize aloud. “You should know better than that since we’re all competitors.”

“Is that what you think?” Changbin asked, and he looked at me closely, searching for something that I knew he wouldn’t find. “I’m sorry that I wasted your time,” Changbin concluded, and he returned to his work without another word.

On the day of the audition, I was surprised when I received a phone call from my mother asking to meet me for lunch before my scheduled performance. It was a breath of fresh air - a necessary distraction because my stomach hadn’t settled ever since I woke-up that morning. In fact, I was experiencing an onslaught of unexpected nerves that I hadn’t felt since my required entrance examination. Overtime, my confidence had steadily built to a healthy level, but the idea of the audition was enough to crumble the entire foundation.

But my mother’s smile was kind when she invited me into a familiar embrace, and I inhaled the smell of her sweet perfume. “Y/N,” she said, pulling away and looking at me closely. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” I said, and she gave me a knowing look before inviting me inside the little cafe that we had agreed to meet at for our scheduled lunch.

“What would you like?” my mother asked as she stood next to the front counter.

“Whatever you think...” I trailed off, and my eyes settled on someone that I hadn’t spoken to ever since our cold exchange in class the other day.

The sight of Changbin sent another pang to my churning stomach, and my mother called my name when she noticed my distraction. “Is he a friend?” my mother asked, and I met Changbin’s gaze just before he decided to turn away from me.

“A classmate,” I said, and the words tasted bitter on my palate.

“Well,” my mother said, exchanging a few words with the employee behind the register. “I ordered us something light.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, jerking my head away from Changbin. “I’ve felt nervous all morning.”

“That’s not like you,” my mother said, and she gave me a concerned look.

“I’ve had a lot on my mind,” I offered as an explanation, and I made sure that we sat far away from Changbin at the other end of the cafe.

Eventually, my mother clapped her hands together when a waitress brought our food. It seemed tantalizing, and I took a bite of my sandwich before quietly sneaking another glance in Changbin’s direction. The action was automatic, and I was crushed to see that he was gone. “Are you sure that boy was just a classmate?”

I sighed because leave it to my psychologist mother to understand everything better than anyone else. “I don’t know.”

My mother offered me a sympathetic smile, and I watched as her hand enclosed over mine. “Tell me about him.”

“I think we were friends,” I offered hesitantly. “But I screwed everything up.”

“What happened?”

“He was mad because I decided to practice instead of going to a party with him, which is really stupid since we have auditions,” I said. “I mean, we weren’t really ever that close.”

“Are you sure?” my mother asked, and I groaned at the look on her face because I had seen it many times before. “Did you spend time together outside of class?”

“Well, yeah...”

“Doing what?”

I considered her question, recalling my first meeting with Changbin as something inconsequential. But afterward, it seemed that our time started to matter more, like when Changbin came over to my dorm in the middle of the night because I was panicking over a calculus exam. Or, when he took me aside after class because I made a dumb mistake and he reassured me that it would only make me stronger. And then there were the little things in between those moments - casual conversations during our classes and lunch, walks to and from our dormitories, and hooking Changbin on one of my favorite dramas that I liked to watch when it felt like the world was too difficult to manage on my own...

I glanced up at my mother, and there was a sad smile waiting for me. “Y/N, I think you’ve made a mistake.”

Her assessment was difficult to accept because I had spent my whole life believing that I couldn’t afford to make mistakes. I always panicked on anything that strayed from perfection, and my mind was stubborn and impenetrable when it came to the smallest of errors. And considering the idea of losing Changbin as a mistake? It was an enormous blow.

“What can I do to fix it?” I asked my mother, and I was startled by my own voice because it sounded so small and insecure.

“That’s up to you to decide,” my mother said. “Some mistakes can be fixed in a million different ways, but some are so severe that you have to really think about the consequences.”

The nerves that I had experienced before were suddenly affecting me tenfold, and I knew that there was only one thing that I could do to remedy the worst mistake of my life.

Stage fright used to be a foreign concept to me, but when I walked across the stage for my audition, the heat of the overhanging lights added to the sweat glistening on my skin, and it seemed like I was experiencing tunnel vision when I managed to single out a familiar face. As such, I could see Changbin in the audience, watching me with narrowed eyes. It was a look that I never expected to receive from someone who was normally so quiet and reserved. And I couldn’t stand to know that it was because I had been so cruel to a man who had stood loyally by my side.

“Y/N,” my Professor greeted me warmly, shifting through the papers on the table in front of him. “Whenever you’re ready.”

I tightened my grip around my violin, positioning it between my neck and shoulder as I had done a thousand times before. But this time was different because I already knew the outcome, and there was a tremendous weight being lifted from my shoulders as I pulled the bow across the string with too much pressure. The accompanying screeching noise was jarring, and I could see some of my classmates flinching in reaction.

Meanwhile, my Professor’s mouth had fallen open in shock, and I closed my eyes and sighed. “Thank you,” I said, bowing in front of my stunned Professor before I walked off the stage.

It was hard to remember what happened thereafter, but I recalled ignoring the voices of my classmates backstage, fighting the crowd for the fresh air waiting outside. But the sunlight was the first thing that I really felt, and it was warm and reassuring against my skin as I inhaled with several, deep breaths. It was a beautiful day, and I found myself smiling as I walked over to one of the little benches waiting along the edges of the giant auditorium building.

For a moment, I wondered what my younger self would think about this strange turn of events. Surely, past Y/N would launch into some sort of tirade about how irresponsible I was being with our future, telling me about the “path” that we needed to follow in order to find success in life. And it was stunning that one kind-hearted boy, with dark hair and eyes, had managed to show me what it was like to appreciate something more than music. Because it wasn’t everything that life had to offer, and I really wanted to take advantage of the other exciting adventures that I had scorned in favor of longer practices or reading textbooks about the countless theories of instrumentals.

What a waste of time, I thought to myself, craning my head back until I could feel the pressure lessen in my neck.

“Do you understand what you just did?”

I opened one eye, finding Changbin standing in front of me with his arms crossed over his chest. My heart reacted to him before my brain, and I scrambled for the right words to describe everything that had happened. “I thought about it beforehand.”

“And it seemed like a good idea to you?”

“Considering the circumstances,” I said, giving him my full attention because he deserved nothing less. “I want our Professor to nominate Seo Changbin for the first chair, and I made sure that I couldn’t get in the way of what you deserve.”

Changbin was quiet for a moment, even as his arms fell to his sides. “You did that for me?” Changbin asked with eyes that were alight with wonder.

“Yeah.” I nodded, savoring a passing breeze. “It seemed like the right thing to do.”

“Why?” Changbin asked, and there a slight hint of anger in his tone that told me he hadn’t forgotten my dismissal of him from earlier this week.

However, I was calm when I answered him, like an enormous weight had been lifted from my shoulders. “For most of my life, I had this idea that there was only one future for me, and I needed to follow some kind of weird, strict plan...” I paused, patting the empty space on the bench next to me. Changbin hesitated for a moment before he sat down. “But lately, I’ve started to really hate that kind of thinking, and I hate the fact that I thought playing music was the only thing that could give my life any sort of meaning. Because it’s really not.”

“Do you believe that?”

I smiled at his innocent question. “Meeting you taught me a lot, and I’ve finally realized that I want other things in my life.”

It was a solemn declaration, and when Changbin looked at me, I knew that it was true. “Like...friends?”

“Yeah, friends,” I agreed, knocking my shoulder against his. “I also want to be a better version of myself. Someone who’s less obsessed with perfection.”

“You want me to think that I’m responsible for this epiphany?” Changbin asked, and his accompanying laugh filled my heart with a bright feeling of happiness.

“It starts with you,” I admitted. “I want you to ace that audition.”

“Well, after hearing all of that...” Changbin trailed off, and he straightened his shoulders. “I have some things that I should tell you.”

“Me?” I repeated, giving him an incredulous look.

“You.” Changbin confirmed, and the way he wrapped an arm around my shoulders was nothing short of delicate. “I like you a lot, Y/N,” he confessed. “This whole fight...I’m glad that you seem happier, but I would’ve never let it last. I need to be around you, and I want you to understand because I’m hoping for something even bigger than friendship.”

I swallowed hard, processing his words. “What do you mean?”

“Something like this,” Changbin said, and I wasn’t expecting the soft fingers directing my head to the side. But I really could’ve never anticipated the first touch of our lips together - gentle and inquisitive. They were soft like the rest of him, and it reminded me of a velvety touch that was impossible to resist. “Look at me, Y/N,” Changbin requested, and I forced my eyes to open to meet his gaze. “Forget about competitions or cliques,” he said. “Let’s just make it Y/N and Seo Changbin. I think that might benefit us both.”

I laughed at his explanation, but there was nothing humorous about the affection in his dark gaze or the beautiful intimacy that could only be shared between two people who had finally made their peace with the union of our two very different souls.

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